Pod Insights Begin Again with Davina McCall Begin Again Moments: Daughters Becoming Mothers | Sophie Ellis-Bextor & Katie Piper About this episode In this heartfelt episode of Begin Again Moments, we bring together two moving conversations about the powerful relationship between mothers and daughters, and how the way we are raised can shape the parents we become.
Sophie Ellis-Bextor reflects on her close relationship with her mother, Janet Ellis, and the influence her childhood has had on the way she raises her own children. From growing up with a famous working mother to having a strong, grounded family around her, Sophie shares the lessons she has carried into motherhood and the importance of creating a safe place her children will always want to return to.
Katie Piper then receives an emotional letter from her mother, Diane, reflecting on Katie's extraordinary journey through trauma and recovery, and the strength, resilience and compassion she now passes on to her own daughters. Katie shares how becoming a mother has allowed her to carry forward the greatest gifts her own mother gave her, while using the wisdom of everything she has lived through to shape the parent she wants to be.
Together, these moments explore the invisible threads that pass from one generation to the next, the lessons we inherit, the love we carry forward, and the profound journey of daughters becoming mothers.
To hear the full conversations, watch the complete episodes on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts.
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 I'm fascinated by, obviously, I'd love to talk to you about you and Richard and your and your boys, but something that fascinates me personally is that you were the child of famous parents. I mean, your father, perhaps people might not have known him.
0:20 Speaker 01 No, yeah, he wasn't in the public.
0:22 Speaker 00 No, but he was famous within his own world. He was well known in his own world, but your mum was mega to famous, to like everybody. I remember your mum so clearly on the television. She was weekly, you know, she was in our living rooms weekly on Blue Peter, Janet, Megawoman. And then you have gone on to become a famous parent yourself. That is such a unique situation. There aren't that many women, I don't think, that have done that. And I'd be very, because it's been a real worry for me as a famous mother on how will this affect my children?
0:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:59 Speaker 00 How can I keep them safe? How can I not, I mean, I spend, I spent a lot of time when I was younger, trying not to embarrass them. I don't care anymore.
1:08 Speaker 01 No, me neither.
1:08 Speaker 00 Um, but, sorry kids.
1:11 Speaker 01 Sorry kids, yeah, sorry about that.
1:14 Speaker 00 But I would love to hear your take because that's so unique, having Janet as a mum. What was life like being the child of a famous mother?
1:22 Speaker 01 Right. Well firstly, I'd say, you know, objectively, us worrying is a bit pointless because whoever, whatever family you're born into, the family dynamic affects who you are. So it doesn't matter.
1:33 Speaker 00 Yes, you don't get away.
1:35 Speaker 01 No.
1:35 Speaker 00 With not being affected by your family dynamic. Oh, that's, yes, okay, yeah.
1:39 Speaker 01 So don't worry. It's like just how it works, isn't it? And.
1:43 Speaker 00 Sorry. That's actually kind of brilliant. Like, if I was famous or not.
1:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:48 Speaker 00 The family.
1:48 Speaker 01 Be free from that worry because your family dynamic is a hundred percent what affects you.
1:54 Speaker 00 You know, when you say that, you're like, oh my god, that is literally the first time I've thought about that.
1:59 Speaker 01 Oh.
2:00 Speaker 00 That is mega.
2:01 Speaker 01 Yes.
2:02 Speaker 00 God, thank you.
2:03 Speaker 01 Well, no, not at all. And.
2:04 Speaker 00 That that it doesn't matter whether you're famous or not, or who you are, your family dynamic will be affected.
2:10 Speaker 01 Yes.
2:11 Speaker 00 Oh, God.
2:11 Speaker 01 Totally.
2:12 Speaker 00 Okay.
2:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:13 Speaker 00 Well, I'm gonna be thinking about that tonight.
2:16 Speaker 01 Oh.
2:16 Speaker 00 That's brilliant. Thank you. Wow. Okay, yes.
2:20 Speaker 01 Yes. Um, and also, I realised as soon as you started talking about my parents, I started smiling a lot because I'm very close to my parents. And uh with my mum, geographically, we live about ten minutes away from each other.
2:33 Speaker 00 Oh, the dreamers. Because I really hope some of my kids do that with me, please.
2:37 Speaker 01 They will, they definitely.
2:38 Speaker 00 Or I'm going to them.
2:39 Speaker 01 No, I I reckon you're you have a similar vibe to with your kids. I bet this my mum had with me, which is like the same way. I'm gonna do it, by the way. Strong matriarch vibes of just like.
2:49 Speaker 00 Stay close.
2:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:51 Speaker 00 In touch, keep communicating with each other, check in. It's so important. Um, so yes, I see my mum. Sometimes.
2:58 Speaker 01 Uh, I'll be walking the kids to school and the bit of park we walk through, I'll see my mum walking her dog. So it's all it's all pretty wholesome. We see bump into grandma quite a lot.
3:07 Speaker 00 Oh, and um. That's so nice.
3:09 Speaker 01 Yes, I love it. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I love that. And I think with my, oh, look, I mean, it would be. I can see that there must be some seeds that were sown from what my mum did that somehow worked into what I was gonna do, for sure.
3:23 Speaker 00 What was, what what sort of seeds?
3:26 Speaker 01 Well, one of them's really embarrassing, but um, this is really not gonna.
3:31 Speaker 00 Oh, this is great. I can't wait. No, go on, tell me.
3:34 Speaker 01 Um, well, I would love to say it was all to do with work ethic, but I just remember when I was, I think it must have been my seventh birthday. And we went to Madame Tussauds. And because my mum was on Peter, we got to go straight in the front. And I think I was a bit like, that's pretty cool.
3:55 Speaker 01 And I do appreciate it does not pay. I was seven. That is like, that's like high currency when you're small. So that's probably a little, little seed there, isn't it? But I also.
4:08 Speaker 00 Skipping to the front of the Madame Two Swords.
4:10 Speaker 01 Oh, my goodness.
4:11 Speaker 00 Yeah.
4:11 Speaker 01 How does this work?
4:12 Speaker 00 Think what my kids.
4:14 Speaker 01 Sorry, how does that work?
4:15 Speaker 00 That is cool. What would your kids think was cool about you now? What have you done for them where they go, oh, this is ace?
4:22 Speaker 01 Oh.
4:23 Speaker 00 It's quite an interesting. I'm trying to think of anything that I've done for my kids, which they would think was mega, because I don't take them to anything.
4:30 Speaker 01 Right.
4:30 Speaker 00 Because I would think at some point.
4:32 Speaker 01 It's been quite, I've been quite good.
4:33 Speaker 00 Trips?
4:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:35 Speaker 00 A broad, like when you're doing gigs?
4:37 Speaker 01 Yes. So last year, um, I got invited to sing for Mardi Gras, Bondi Beach in Sydney, like brilliant. And I'd been away a lot, a little bit already by that point in the year, February, and I took Jessie, who was then eight. And we were only there for four days and they flew us there, business class. And so Jessie gets on the plane before we've been taken off and he was pressing all the buttons. And he went, hold on a minute, was this expensive, these tickets? And I said, yes, Jessie, very. And he went, it's worth it.
5:11 Speaker 01 I was like, oh no, how's he gonna, this is a long way down, isn't it? From like a business class flight to Australia. He was so happy. He was a great travelling companion. He was like Tom Hanks in Big when he's pressing all the buttons in the car, like woo.
5:26 Speaker 00 Isn't it special when you've got five kids, you've got five boys and you can go away with one?
5:31 Speaker 01 I love it.
5:31 Speaker 00 Isn't that amazing?
5:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:33 Speaker 00 There's not enough time in the year really to take them all away for, but I think as you get older and you, you aren't working non-stop.
5:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:41 Speaker 00 There's, I took one of my kids away on their own for a week last, uh, this year. Yeah, this year in April, Holly, my oldest.
5:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:50 Speaker 00 And it was a joy.
5:51 Speaker 01 That is really nice. I actually think, because my kids are still quite little, that is actually one of the biggest privileges of having such amazing support. Because I've got brilliant support with people who help me look after the kids when I'm working. But it also means I can sometimes do things with them one-on-one. And I actually think that is, that's invaluable, being able to do that if you've got, you know, lots of children. What were you talking about? My mum? So the other seeds, I mean, yeah, my mum absolutely loved what she did. So she. Adored presenting Blue Peter and Blue Peter was, it's very strange for me to even talk about it now because it's almost, I think of it like a sibling, which sounds really odd and maybe a little sad.
6:29 Speaker 00 No, you shared your life with it.
6:31 Speaker 01 I did, but particularly that bit of my childhood because my mum was presenting the show while she was a single mother. Um, so I would spend most of my time with her. I'd go to my dad every other weekend and she finished the show when she was having my brother. So this chapter, it was, it was like my, yeah, the sibling I had during that time when it was a lot of the time just me and her. And, and I think, yeah, I could see how much they love what they did. I liked the fact that it opened my eyes to having a job that wasn't a traditional job. So, um, when the opportunity came to go on tour with my band, um, my parents, even though it was a slightly different world to theirs in music, that suited me too because it felt like my thing, but I also didn't have any sort of
7:17 Speaker 01 dreamy world around it. I could see the sort of nuts and bolts of what I do.
7:21 Speaker 00 The reality of it.
7:21 Speaker 01 Reality, exactly. And I think that's a privilege too, because it, it, it had been around me so I could think in those terms. And I am aware that, you know, it's funny because when you're young and starting out, uh, you don't want to think anything's been easier for you because it's hard for everybody when you go out. But looking back, I'm like, wow, I had so many aces in my pack in terms of, you know, growing up in London. Um, a time when people from record companies would go out and actually go and watch gigs and suddenly all these privileges on my doorstep. Yeah, absolutely. And, and the fact that my, this is actually probably the biggest one, because my parents worked in a similar field.
8:00 Speaker 01 They never, and not, my family haven't, they never became my fans, which sounds like a really odd statement.
8:07 Speaker 00 No, that's, yeah, that's interesting.
8:08 Speaker 01 Really shift things and they never were starstruck by any element of anything I got up to, which meant I had such a solid home base, such a grounding.
8:17 Speaker 00 Yes.
8:18 Speaker 01 They didn't, it was lovely if I'd enjoyed the things I was getting up to, but really they always wanted to check in. How was I feeling about emotionally? How was, what was going on at home? How was my relationship at the time? Um, was everything in order for, you know, could I pay my rent? All those sorts of things. It was quite practical and emotionally led and not, you've sold how many units? You're going to this country? That was at the end of the conversation. So that was a benefit too.
8:45 Speaker 00 So interesting because I had never thought about that, that if you become famous, your parents sort of become fans and how nice it would be to have somebody.
8:54 Speaker 01 They can.
8:54 Speaker 00 Yes.
8:55 Speaker 01 Or at least a bit starstruck, the whole thing.
8:56 Speaker 00 Yes.
8:56 Speaker 01 Or it's unfamiliar, you know, they might not know.
8:59 Speaker 00 Yes.
9:00 Speaker 01 What they're entitled to.
9:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
9:02 Speaker 01 They're entitled to help you. So those things can, those things helped me for sure.
9:05 Speaker 00 And the, all the kind of
9:11 Speaker 00 things that I was saying about you at the beginning about being just down to earth and normal, I see you as kind of a humble, a humble superstar.
9:21 Speaker 01 Wow.
9:22 Speaker 00 No, but that's how I see you. Like you are really well known. Everybody knows who you are, but you are, you've got your feet on the ground and that now that makes real sense, you saying that. I am, I can completely understand that they would know exactly what you needed.
9:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:40 Speaker 00 And Janet would know, this is what I could have done with.
9:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:44 Speaker 00 I'm going to, let me give this to Sophie. Yeah.
9:46 Speaker 01 And she's still in that role now.
9:48 Speaker 00 Is she?
9:48 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm very, I'm lucky. I do have a lot of people that give me lots of support. So nothing I do is, is happening on its, on its own really, as support for my redirection, including Richard, of course.
10:04 Speaker 00 Obviously we've just talked about becoming a mother and I know that you and your mum
10:11 Speaker 00 became very close really when you moved back home.
10:14 Speaker 01 Yeah. And my dad as well. He was a big part.
10:17 Speaker 00 Yeah.
10:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:19 Speaker 00 But your mum has written you a letter.
10:22 Speaker 01 Really?
10:23 Speaker 00 Yes.
10:23 Speaker 01 Oh my God, I'm surprised.
10:24 Speaker 00 And I, if it's all right with you, I'm going to read it to you.
10:27 Speaker 01 Okay.
10:27 Speaker 00 Are you okay?
10:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:28 Speaker 00 She would have hated to do that.
10:30 Speaker 01 So tell me why you're surprised.
10:31 Speaker 00 Because my mum is just like traditional and strong and stoic and.
10:37 Speaker 02 You know, like, she's so loving, but she's like, you've just got to get on with it, dear. You know, you really have. And she's not gushy. She she wouldn't like to go on telly. I had to force her to be in my doc, you know. She's just, it's like a different generation and she's just not like that. And I wouldn't want her to be any other way. But she's very um private, you know.
10:57 Speaker 00 Would it be fair to say that your relationship, you got closer later in life?
11:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:03 Speaker 00 Deeper.
11:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, like all relationships, you know, like my childhood, she like, I always knew at the centre of my mum's life was us, us three. I was the middle child. And with my mum, she worked as a teacher, then she worked in waitrose, then she was a childminder, then she was a teaching assistant. And at the centre of my mum's life was our education and our stability. And she was the taxi and took us to every hobby, you know. But then, you know, I'm ashamed to say then in my teens, like, I really like raged against her. You know, I I was a difficult teen and I think she found it hard to make sense of that.
11:40 Speaker 00 Hmm.
11:41 Speaker 02 And I think my trauma and that recovery like united us and we found each other. Well, we chose each other. Because you don't choose your mum, do you? But you have later in life, you know if it was a good relationship because you do fly home.
11:55 Speaker 00 Yeah. God, in recovery, I chose my stepmom.
11:58 Speaker 02 Hmm.
12:00 Speaker 00 Okay, you ready?
12:01 Speaker 02 Oh, God, okay, all right.
12:03 Speaker 00 Dear Kate, I was looking through some photos of you the other day and it made me reflect on how far you've come since that dreadful day in March two thousand and eight.
12:12 Speaker 00 As a mother, it was heartbreaking to see you hurt, to see you so badly damaged and feeling so helpless in the face of your pain. But what stands out to me the most is the incredible strength you showed even in those early days. When everything seemed uncertain and the future looked so hard, you refused to let it define you. You turned a dreadful situation into an opportunity to grow and to become even stronger. It wasn't easy. There were setbacks, struggles and moments of doubt, but you kept going. And you conquered one challenge after another. You kept that sense of humour that you had as a child, and even in difficult times, you managed to make us all smile.
12:58 Speaker 00 You proved to me and to yourself that no matter what life throws at you, you have the power to take control and overcome. Over the years, I've had the privilege of watching you blossom. Your career's been a testament to your tireless work ethic and your stubborn determination. And in addition to your career, you started your charity because you wanted to give back and make a difference. I've watched you work so hard on that too. That's who you are, a person who not only overcomes adversity, but who is driven to help others do the same. And then I've watched you become a mother.
13:40 Speaker 00 To see you with your girls, teaching them the same values I taught you, strength, resilience, kindness and determination has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I can see the love, the patience and the wisdom in your interactions with them. You're passing down the very qualities that made you who you are today, and I am so proud of you.
14:06 Speaker 00 As a mother, there's nothing more rewarding than seeing your child grow into the person you always hoped they would be. Strong, compassionate and capable of navigating the ups and downs of life with grace and courage.
14:23 Speaker 00 I am so proud of everything you've accomplished and even prouder of the amazing woman, wife and mother you've become. I'm going to end this letter with the best piece of advice I have ever given you.
14:41 Speaker 00 Just get on with it, dear.
14:44 Speaker 00 With all my love, Mum.
14:50 Speaker 02 That's our private joke, just get on with it, dear. Said it in ICU.
14:56 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's um.
15:00 Speaker 02 You can't go back and change things, but when you become a mum, you can you can give them everything. And I don't want to say everything I didn't have because I had everything. But the greatest gift my mum has given me is to be able to parent.
15:18 Speaker 02 And that's what I'm trying to do, parent them like she parented me.
15:24 Speaker 02 But with the wisdom of some of the other things that happened to me that I'll never be able to change. And I'm so private about my children, you know, I don't put them on social. I don't take them to work things. And I want them to have that agency and that anonymity to go out into the world and fuck everything up and and enjoy life and be who they want to be. And I want to keep them so safe.
15:50 Speaker 02 But not be like a helicopter mum, you know, I want them to
15:55 Speaker 02 choose me and and fly home to me, but go out there. And I don't know if mum knows this, but she did do that for me, even though we like butted heads quite a lot. But I was allowed to butt heads with her. Because I knew we'd never fall out.
16:12 Speaker 00 She's safe.
16:13 Speaker 02 Yeah. And I hope I create that. I mean, I'm already there with my eldest where she's like, can you stop walking next to me on the street when we walk to school? I'm like, sorry. So sorry. Like I went to careers day on Monday for year six. And I was like, did a thirty minute talk about being a writer and a TV presenter. And I said, did you like it? And she was like, why did you wear the cardigan with feathers on?
16:40 Speaker 02 Because I'm jassy, I'm jassy.
16:43 Speaker 00 I touched the small of my son's back a couple of years ago. I've never touched him since. I was like, I'm really sorry I touched you.
16:52 Speaker 02 And it's hard because I'm not, I, in some ways I am the man my mum was, but in other ways I'm not because I, my mum dedicated her life to us and she sacrificed her career. And I'm not ashamed to say I don't, I don't sac, I sacrificed parts of my career, of course I do, but I am a career woman, which is different to what my mum was, you know. And she's had opinions on that too, and I understand that.
17:15 Speaker 02 But Richie's a good dad and we, we work together as a team, you know.
17:22 Speaker 02 But yeah, I'm, I'm so grateful to my mum and dad that they gave me all of this so that I could be who I am today. That's why all that I am is them, not what happened to me.
17:33 Speaker 00 Yes. Absolutely. And this is the overriding message. I'm gonna end with me holding this book because everybody should get this book. No, honestly, Katie, I, I, I knew you a bit before and but I, I read this and I, I really know you. And I like you so much. Your message in this book is brilliant for everybody. And everyone in life should read this book.
18:06 Speaker 02 I feel like me and you have just run a marathon together with no refreshments. And I feel like kind of exhausted.
18:11 Speaker 00 Yeah.
18:12 Speaker 02 Weird, yeah.
18:12 Speaker 00 But in a good way, I am happy exhausted. This is.
18:18 Speaker 02 Well, I just love what you're doing because it, I don't know, could I have done this interview like 10 years ago and what, what would have been the platform? Like, I feel like I couldn't and, and I feel like what, what I can do here with you is say things um, that might have been like a secret, not a secret, but just, I just don't know if there was like the space for that, you know. A, and that you haven't, you know, you've, I've done interviews in the past with women and it, and, and it feels like they want to catch you out and it's accusation or, or this, that it's weird ownership and blame and I don't know, I just feel like what you're creating is really special.
18:51 Speaker 00 Well, God, and I respect you so much. So coming from you, that's really a high praise and I, I thank you. Very, very, very much for that.
18:59 Speaker 02 It helps lots of people.
19:01 Speaker 00 Katie, you help lots of people. Can we, can we just quickly mention your charity? Can we just, would you just mention it by name, just in case anybody's watching that might need a bit of help? We will obviously put a link to it as well, everywhere.
19:13 Speaker 02 So we're a national charity, the Katie Piper Foundation. We're there for anybody who's had traumatic scarring or a burn injury. We fund rehabilitation, scar management, psychological support, and we support partners and family as well as the survivor. And we always need people to do crazy things for us to raise money as well.
19:32 Speaker 00 And any volunteers? Do you ever need volunteers?
19:35 Speaker 02 We do. Yeah, it's about community. And that's the thing, as you've heard talking to me at length, it doesn't take just the survivor or one person to help somebody, any recovery, whatever it is, whether it's a burn.
19:46 Speaker 00 Take the village.
19:47 Speaker 02 It takes a village and that's what we always need. So we're always grateful for anybody in any capacity.
19:54 Speaker 00 Katie.
19:57 Speaker 00 I really.
19:58 Speaker 02 Love you.
19:59 Speaker 00 I love you too.
20:00 Speaker 02 Thank you.
20:01 Speaker 00 Thank you.
20:01 Speaker 02 Thank you for trusting me.
20:02 Speaker 00 Coming here, I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna say. I don't know if I've got anything to say. What have I got to say compared to other guests? I was really worried. Isn't that like?
20:11 Speaker 02 And it's not just what you've said, it's, it's what we've learnt, what I've learnt.
20:18 Speaker 00 I've really enjoyed it. Is that weird? Is that a weird word to say, enjoyed it?
20:21 Speaker 02 I've enjoyed every second of it. It was amazing. Thank you.
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