Smoke Signal Breakup w/ Sam Morril

A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Liquid IV, The Ladder, Cash App & Quince • Liquid IV: Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to https://www.liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first purchase with code 2026BF at checkout • The Ladder: Head to https://ladder.fit/BF and take a quick quiz to get matched with your coach and the right plan for you. • Cash App: Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Click here to get started: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/hhm54e0a #CashAppPartner • Quince: Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://www.quince.com YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Watch Sam Morril's "Incorrect" https://www.netflix.com/title/82155480 0:00 Bad Friends Backrooms 4:00 Rudy’s Grudge Smoking 8:50 Backstage Beehive 13:00 One Wish Willow 18:00 Bobby Scares Jamie Lee Curtis 24:15 Liverpool Lovers 30:00 Is Sam Morril Gay? 35:00 Will Manipulation 40:30 Poop Slop Plop 45:05 Bobby’s Hit & Run 53:28 Car Crash Conundrum 57:28 Last Name Amnesia 1:02:00 Hidden Superpowers 1:07:00 Dating in New York 1:10:30 Rudy’s Long Distance Relationship 1:15:20 Last Comic Standing 1:19:10 Adam Ray’s Dog More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:00Speaker 03

  From the studio that brought you WandaVision.

• 1:03Speaker 04

  I was an Avenger, but I'm not a hero anymore.

• 1:08Speaker 03

  The Vision returns for the final chapter of the groundbreaking trilogy. That family wasn't real. You sure about that?

• 1:15Speaker 01

  I had a father called Vision. How is this possible?

• 1:19Speaker 03

  Don't miss the two-episode premiere of Marvel Television's Vision Quest.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  Nothing bonds a family together quite like Mortal Jeopardy.

• 1:27Speaker 03

  Now streaming, only on Disney+.

• 1:31Speaker 03

  Wave.

• 1:34Speaker 03

  You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends.

• 1:46Bobby Lee?

  Spooky, spooky, spooky, spooky, spooky. Spooky season. Spooky season. Welcome to a woo. Ow, welcome to another spooky season with the Bad Friends Company.

• 2:12Andrew Santino?

  A wave series, and we're here.

• 2:14Bobby Lee?

  The wave series, Bad Friends Company.

• 2:16Andrew Santino?

  Bad Friends Company.

• 2:18Bobby Lee?

  And can I say this too? Okay. This strap right here.

• 2:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's not supposed to be over your other eye.

• 2:25Bobby Lee?

  It's covered closely to the other eye.

• 2:26Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 2:27Bobby Lee?

  You know, so like, I can't see at all.

• 2:29Andrew Santino?

  Take it off, pirate boy.

• 2:32Andrew Santino?

  The hat is good-looking. I actually could see you rocking that in real life.

• 2:36Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 2:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it looks good.

• 2:37Bobby Lee?

  You think I look good?

• 2:38Andrew Santino?

  A Malaysian cowboy.

• 2:40Bobby Lee?

  How you doing, man? Good to be here, man, at this rally.

• 2:43Andrew Santino?

  Happy Halloween, happy spooky season. Rudy Jewels is here.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  Happy Halloween.

• 2:48Bobby Lee?

  Hello, happy.

• 2:49Andrew Santino?

  Haven't seen you in so long. How are you?

• 2:52Speaker 02

  I'm good.

• 2:53Andrew Santino?

  What's going on, man?

• 2:55Speaker 02

  Um, school.

• 2:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah? How many years of school are you gonna do?

• 2:59Bobby Lee?

  Fifteen years.

• 3:00Andrew Santino?

  You're still gonna be in school, huh?

• 3:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. She doesn't absorb information like normal people.

• 3:04Andrew Santino?

  How do you absorb information?

• 3:06Speaker 02

  I don't. I listen, and it just goes from one ear out.

• 3:09Bobby Lee?

  The other, yeah. So I've been plugging up the other ear.

• 3:12Andrew Santino?

  You've been corking it?

• 3:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I've been putting wax in there already so that the information stays in the ear.

• 3:16Andrew Santino?

  You're taking wax out of your ear and putting in her ear?

• 3:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, my own ear wax.

• 3:20Andrew Santino?

  What school, what school are you in now? What, are you getting your doctorate?

• 3:23Speaker 02

  Masters.

• 3:24Bobby Lee?

  Whoa. Masturu.

• 3:27Andrew Santino?

  Whoa, whoa, we don't use that word anymore.

• 3:28Bobby Lee?

  No, no, masturu.

• 3:29Andrew Santino?

  We don't use that word anymore.

• 3:30Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 3:31Andrew Santino?

  It's, you're not getting your masters, you're getting your accelerated degree. We don't say masters anymore, guys.

• 3:36Bobby Lee?

  What, that's not a thing, no?

• 3:37Andrew Santino?

  It's racist.

• 3:38Bobby Lee?

  It is? Oh, like.

• 3:40Andrew Santino?

  We can't say master bedroom anymore.

• 3:41Bobby Lee?

  You're making fun of He-Man.

• 3:42Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 3:42Bobby Lee?

  Master of the universe.

• 3:43Andrew Santino?

  Master of the universe.

• 3:44Bobby Lee?

  Right. Right? When you say master, it fans He-Man.

• 3:48Andrew Santino?

  He gets mad.

• 3:49Bobby Lee?

  And Skeletor, for some reason. You know what I mean? But, you know, he's, anyway, let's move on.

• 3:52Andrew Santino?

  Let's respect the power of the grayskull.

• 3:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:55Andrew Santino?

  Do you know what He-Man is? No clue.

• 3:57Bobby Lee?

  You don't know what a He-Man is?

• 3:58Speaker 02

  What's He-Man?

• 4:00Andrew Santino?

  Well, first of all, it's sexist.

• 4:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:02Andrew Santino?

  He-Man.

• 4:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:03Andrew Santino?

  He's a very muscular guy. He's been using pronouns since the 80s. A little redundant, wouldn't you think?

• 4:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Really good joke, man.

• 4:12Bobby Lee?

  What are you, hazmat? What's going on here?

• 4:14Andrew Santino?

  Backrooms.

• 4:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, backrooms. We're doing the backrooms. I'm the, I'm the black.

• 4:18Andrew Santino?

  He's a black pirate.

• 4:18Bobby Lee?

  Pirate.

• 4:19Andrew Santino?

  And I'm from Obsession. I'm bear. This is bear sweater.

• 4:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's cool, man.

• 4:23Andrew Santino?

  Look at that picture of He-Man. It's kinda crazy. It'd be funny if he had, if they really wanted to be progressive, they'd have He-Man like that, but then he talks like this. Get over here, Skeletor.

• 4:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:32Andrew Santino?

  Skeletor, you better cut it out.

• 4:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, look at me, big sword.

• 4:36Andrew Santino?

  God, look what he's wearing. Look at how short those shorts are, dude. I've met that exact same guy.

• 4:42Bobby Lee?

  I know, me too. Open mic night.

• 4:43Andrew Santino?

  The manhole.

• 4:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:44Andrew Santino?

  On Santa Monica.

• 4:45Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you did?

• 4:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 4:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Sunday's that open mics. I've seen him.

• 4:48Andrew Santino?

  No, he opened me up.

• 4:49Bobby Lee?

  Hard to follow with that sword.

• 4:51Andrew Santino?

  Big sword.

• 4:51Bobby Lee?

  It's a big closer. Because he does lightning. You know what I mean? When he performs, he does the lightning thing. It's not fucking, it's, it's hacky. Right? And it's also, you can't use supernatural abilities.

• 5:03Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 5:03Bobby Lee?

  On your sta, right? We've, we've talked to him before.

• 5:05Andrew Santino?

  We've talked to that.

• 5:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no more of the He-Man, right? And that skeleton thing.

• 5:10Andrew Santino?

  He-Man.

• 5:11Bobby Lee?

  Get Skeletor out of there, man.

• 5:12Andrew Santino?

  It's so annoying.

• 5:13Bobby Lee?

  It's so annoying, dude.

• 5:13Andrew Santino?

  Rudy, what's going on, though? You're in school now. You're getting your, your masters degree. Careful.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  I started Lexapro, and then...

• 5:26Andrew Santino?

  We love a Lexapro queen.

• 5:27Bobby Lee?

  He, um, so I've been smoking cigarettes again, and, um, you know, I keep buying the cigarettes, and she refu, and, and, and, no, no, no. I'm not, can I, I'm not done talking to?

• 5:38Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 5:38Bobby Lee?

  I'm not talking to, I'm not talking to.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  I know your story is incorrect.

• 5:42Bobby Lee?

  It's not incorrect. It's from a pure truth point of view.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  You don't have proof.

• 5:47Bobby Lee?

  I have, but my observational skills is the proof. I see. Can I just finish what I wanna say, little one?

• 5:54Speaker 02

  Go.

• 5:54Bobby Lee?

  May I?

• 5:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, for the sake of the podcast, let's, uh, let's not talk over each other the whole time. Go ahead.

• 6:00Bobby Lee?

  Thank you so much for that.

• 6:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 6:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:03Andrew Santino?

  Someone, someone's gotta do it.

• 6:04Bobby Lee?

  You're like a debate moderator.

• 6:06Andrew Santino?

  I am a moderator.

• 6:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:07Andrew Santino?

  Uh, Mr. Lee, go ahead.

• 6:08Bobby Lee?

  So what I'm saying is, is that I, I spend my hard-earned cash.

• 6:13Andrew Santino?

  Hard-earned is a...

• 6:17Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 6:18Andrew Santino?

  It's earned.

• 6:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 6:21Andrew Santino?

  How hard it was.

• 6:22Bobby Lee?

  Is it easier?

• 6:22Andrew Santino?

  I think your cash is easier earned.

• 6:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm easier earned.

• 6:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 6:25Bobby Lee?

  So with my easier-earned cash,

• 6:30Bobby Lee?

  you know, I go to, you know, I mean, the business in which they sell the cigarette item. 7-Eleven, yeah. I wanna say it fancier.

• 6:39Andrew Santino?

  We love 7-Eleven.

• 6:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And I keep buying them, and then she keeps smoking them. But I'm the one that's, what?

• 6:47Speaker 02

  You keep finishing them.

• 6:49Bobby Lee?

  Will you finish, you don't finish them?

• 6:50Speaker 02

  No. Every time I buy a new one, in one day, everything is out.

• 6:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, so you're thieving her cigarettes?

• 6:58Speaker 02

  No, we share.

• 6:59Bobby Lee?

  We share.

• 7:00Andrew Santino?

  This is very pirate-like, whatever you're doing.

• 7:02Bobby Lee?

  Dude, that's why I'm wearing it.

• 7:03Andrew Santino?

  I get it.

• 7:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:04Andrew Santino?

  What kind of cigarettes you smoking? You smoking those American Spirit yellows?

• 7:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we do.

• 7:07Andrew Santino?

  And you, do you smoke the same ones?

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, he doesn't like any other color, so it has to be yellow.

• 7:12Andrew Santino?

  I mean, it does align.

• 7:15Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 7:17Andrew Santino?

  Keep the yellow, yellow. I mean, the fans, the fans will take it from here. I feel like it's...

• 7:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. In fact, you guys, oh, your bodies look like mine.

• 7:26Andrew Santino?

  He walks into the gas station, and he's like, "Come and get a pack of cigarettes." The guy's like, "Yellow."

• 7:32Andrew Santino?

  Let me guess, yellow?

• 7:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so we do the yellows.

• 7:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yellows are good.

• 7:36Bobby Lee?

  They're the best, yeah. So anyway, could you start supplying some?

• 7:39Speaker 02

  I do, and yesterday I got so mad at him because he's so inconsiderate, and he just finishes it, and then he yells at me when it's empty.

• 7:48Andrew Santino?

  Well, why can't you guys just get a, get a carton? If you're gonna keep smoking, just get a carton.

• 7:52Bobby Lee?

  You're right. I'll get a carton.

• 7:53Andrew Santino?

  Bulk buy.

• 7:54Bobby Lee?

  I'll bulk buy it, you're right. Let's move on, but let's, we'll bulk buy.

• 7:57Andrew Santino?

  They sell bulk cigarettes at Costco? They should.

• 7:59Bobby Lee?

  They do, yeah. So I'll get a carton.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  I don't think it's a good idea 'cause aren't you trying to stop too?

• 8:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, he's really working on stopping.

• 8:10Andrew Santino?

  No, he's, he is in the throes of smoking again.

• 8:15Andrew Santino?

  Isn't that true?

• 8:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he's deep in it. I don't like that you're smoking. I gotta tell you, as your, as your Tito, I don't like that you're smoking.

• 8:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  I don't smoke as often.

• 8:24Andrew Santino?

  What is that? Has nothing to do with it. You're still smoking.

• 8:26Bobby Lee?

  Do you smoke, like The Grudge?

• 8:29Speaker 02

  The Grudge?

• 8:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'll tell you why. It's grudge, it's grudge-like behavior. I'll tell you what, okay? Because I've seen the movies. You know, I, I've lived the fucking experience of The Grudge.

• 8:43Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:43Bobby Lee?

  All right? And what I'm saying is, is that I look out in the patio, okay? I see your disturbing, horrific hair. You don't move, and you have your black hair.

• 8:57Andrew Santino?

  Oh, The Grudge smoke.

• 8:58Bobby Lee?

  The Grudge smoke.

• 8:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I've seen it.

• 9:00Bobby Lee?

  You've seen it. It scares the shit out of me. You do this for a second.

• 9:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's it.

• 9:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's it. That's her.

• 9:06Bobby Lee?

  That's the grudge.

• 9:06Andrew Santino?

  That's you smoking.

• 9:07Bobby Lee?

  That's you, dude, smoking.

• 9:08Andrew Santino?

  Now, now, when you smoke, are you at least doing something creative or productive?

• 9:12Bobby Lee?

  No, she's just doing that face. Anyway, um, back room, do you see it?

• 9:17Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:18Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  I heard it's bad.

• 9:19Andrew Santino?

  Well, you're in one right now.

• 9:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, look behind you.

• 9:22Andrew Santino?

  You're in the back room. Now, I didn't see it either, I'm, so I'm kind of out of context about it.

• 9:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, um, what do you think, Andreas, that you're the film guy?

• 9:32Speaker 01

  I thought it was pretty good.

• 9:33Andrew Santino?

  People loved it.

• 9:33Bobby Lee?

  It was.

• 9:34Andrew Santino?

  You loved it.

• 9:35Bobby Lee?

  It was okay.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  Three times, yeah.

• 9:37Bobby Lee?

  You saw three times?

• 9:38Andrew Santino?

  Three times in theaters?

• 9:39Speaker 01

  No, so I could read the captions and really understand.

• 9:42Andrew Santino?

  What language do they?

• 9:42Bobby Lee?

  How do you understand it's a room in the back?

• 9:45Andrew Santino?

  Is it in different?

• 9:46Speaker 01

  No, like, oh, there's a water room, the Christmas room.

• 9:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:50Andrew Santino?

  Is it a foreign language?

• 9:52Speaker 01

  No, but I can't, I'm not getting everything the first time. I need to watch things like two or three times.

• 9:56Andrew Santino?

  Man, that hair transplant went all the way in, huh?

• 9:58Bobby Lee?

  Right into the.

• 9:59Andrew Santino?

  It's getting to the skull.

• 10:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:00Andrew Santino?

  Into the brain.

• 10:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the cortex. Right into the cortex, dude.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Good the third time.

• 10:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's an okay movie. Um, I saw Hope Again, which is that Korean?

• 10:12Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:13Andrew Santino?

  Did you have on captions? Close captioning?

• 10:17Bobby Lee?

  I, I do.

• 10:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:18Bobby Lee?

  I don't know Korean that well.

• 10:19Andrew Santino?

  You do, yes, you do. Whenever I hear you speak to your mom, you're very fluent.

• 10:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:22Andrew Santino?

  Why do you turn that on and turn that off with your mom, but for other people you can't? Is it just because of the words she uses, you know?

• 10:27Bobby Lee?

  She know, she does basic Korean.

• 10:30Andrew Santino?

  Like, I have to go to the bathroom.

• 10:32Bobby Lee?

  Even worse.

• 10:33Andrew Santino?

  Me bathroom.

• 10:36Bobby Lee?

  It's even worse.

• 10:37Andrew Santino?

  Bathroom.

• 10:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty much bathroom. It's like bathroom, she'll say this. Okay?

• 10:45Andrew Santino?

  Give me a direct translate.

• 10:46Bobby Lee?

  I'll give you a direct translate. She'll go, um, uh, popmogo?

• 10:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, popmogo.

• 10:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, popmogo, um, pyeonseoreoreoseo, um, um, dongnamseena.

• 10:58Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Bush did 9/11.

• 11:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude, yeah, yeah, because the buildings, the way they fuck.

• 11:06Bobby Lee?

  It's not supposed to stack like that.

• 11:07Andrew Santino?

  She's like, she's like, pyeongmyeonggo agum saegodama, and which translates to, uh, jet fuel doesn't melt steel.

• 11:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:16Andrew Santino?

  That's what it means.

• 11:16Bobby Lee?

  Exactly, dude.

• 11:17Andrew Santino?

  Do you speak any Korean now that you're around him enough? Can you understand any, any of it?

• 11:21Speaker 02

  He never speaks Korean.

• 11:23Andrew Santino?

  Why don't you speak it around the house? That's how, that's how language continues.

• 11:26Bobby Lee?

  Well, I mean, they speak their language, which is fucking off-putting sometimes.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  How?

• 11:30Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean, like?

• 11:33Bobby Lee?

  No, it's, I've never heard before.

• 11:38Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? And you're like, okay. I go, then I, don't I say, speak English?

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because they speak that little, you know, bubbly.

• 11:44Andrew Santino?

  To each other.

• 11:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:45Andrew Santino?

  Well, who's at the house now?

• 11:46Speaker 02

  My mom.

• 11:47Andrew Santino?

  Oh, my sweetheart.

• 11:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, honey.

• 11:49Andrew Santino?

  The love of my life.

• 11:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's there.

• 11:50Andrew Santino?

  When is she coming back on the show?

• 11:53Speaker 02

  No, she's scared.

• 11:54Andrew Santino?

  Why? Doesn't she love me? We saw a movie together.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:57Andrew Santino?

  She wanted it to be a private date.

• 11:59Bobby Lee?

  What movie did we watch?

• 12:00Andrew Santino?

  We went to Odyssey.

• 12:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's right, we saw that together.

• 12:02Andrew Santino?

  By the way, somebody had an aerial shot. You can still see the boat, I guess, on the Universal back lot? That they still have the boat up, like, out there so people could see it. Kind of want to go see it.

• 12:11Bobby Lee?

  I want to see that.

• 12:11Andrew Santino?

  Shouldn't we go see it?

• 12:12Bobby Lee?

  Let's go see it.

• 12:13Andrew Santino?

  And do you think we will be able to get access to it, maybe, to go get on the boat?

• 12:16Bobby Lee?

  Phone calls.

• 12:17Andrew Santino?

  There's a, yeah, right there, it's in the back lot. There was a guy who was like doing a hike to the Wisdom Tree, and he saw it in the back lot.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  There it is.

• 12:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's it. That's the exact same shot.

• 12:24Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 12:24Andrew Santino?

  Isn't that kind of cool?

• 12:25Bobby Lee?

  That's so fucking cool.

• 12:26Andrew Santino?

  Wait a minute, that can't be, uh.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  It's from Barham.

• 12:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I was just gonna say.

• 12:30Bobby Lee?

  At the Barham, right down the street?

• 12:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Like some pickups.

• 12:33Bobby Lee?

  Where they shot Friends and Seinfeld was shot there.

• 12:36Andrew Santino?

  Seinfeld was shot at CBS Radford.

• 12:39Bobby Lee?

  That's what I mean. Is that, that's what you mean, right? Radford?

• 12:41Andrew Santino?

  No, no, that's Universal right there.

• 12:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's Universal, I see. Radford's great because they did Friends, that.

• 12:46Andrew Santino?

  We, they sold it for like a fraction of its worth. It's gone now.

• 12:49Bobby Lee?

  I know it is.

• 12:50Andrew Santino?

  It's kind of crazy.

• 12:51Bobby Lee?

  I know. I did a pilot there once, and I walked in the dressing room, and there was on the corner of the room, a gigantic beehive.

• 12:58Andrew Santino?

  What, for what?

• 12:59Bobby Lee?

  I did a pilot for HBO.

• 13:00Andrew Santino?

  What was the, I mean, what's the beehive, though? You mean like a real one?

• 13:03Bobby Lee?

  A fucking beehive, guy!

• 13:05Andrew Santino?

  Wow, that'd get you prepared for the role.

• 13:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was, and I go, can I get out of the room? They, they looked, and they're like, what the fuck? It was bees!

• 13:13Andrew Santino?

  You know why?

• 13:13Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 13:14Andrew Santino?

  Bee actor, bee room.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 13:18Andrew Santino?

  Any room I walk into is filled with apples.

• 13:22Andrew Santino?

  Get over here. What are you drinking, matcha?

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Matcha.

• 13:25Andrew Santino?

  You like matcha?

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:27Andrew Santino?

  We, we went to a Japanese spa yesterday, and they give you matcha, and I.

• 13:32Bobby Lee?

  Who's me?

• 13:33Andrew Santino?

  My wife and I.

• 13:34Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 13:36Andrew Santino?

  Well, my friend Mike.

• 13:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's better.

• 13:38Andrew Santino?

  We went to a, uh, couples massage.

• 13:40Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 13:41Andrew Santino?

  And then we, they give you matcha, they make it in front of you, and you, you whisk it, you know?

• 13:46Bobby Lee?

  I've had it, yeah.

• 13:47Andrew Santino?

  It tastes like shit. Matcha tastes like shit.

• 13:49Bobby Lee?

  Chocky.

• 13:49Andrew Santino?

  It's a game that we're playing. Nobody likes it. Matcha's shit. Matcha's shit.

• 13:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, see, you get so conditioned by TikTok.

• 13:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, she thinks she likes it.

• 13:57Bobby Lee?

  She thinks you like it, but you don't.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  I do, I, I make my own matcha.

• 14:00Andrew Santino?

  What's in it, though, besides matcha? Is there sugar or sweetener or anything like that in it?

• 14:04Speaker 02

  I just put almond milk.

• 14:06Bobby Lee?

  She loves trendy stuff. She goes to that pink wall on Melrose.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  I never.

• 14:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you do.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  I've never been there.

• 14:12Bobby Lee?

  If there's an angel wing, if there's angel wings on a wall, dude, she'll take an angel photo.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  I've never been there, no, that's.

• 14:18Bobby Lee?

  You do all that stuff. The bagels, you only eat this one, pop-up bagels, it's trending.

• 14:23Andrew Santino?

  You're trendy.

• 14:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and I'm like, all right, I'll eat this one, but there's other bagel shops.

• 14:28Andrew Santino?

  No, she only does trend.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  I love pop-up bagels.

• 14:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because you tried to, you fucked me up with it.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  I influenced you.

• 14:33Bobby Lee?

  You influenced me.

• 14:34Andrew Santino?

  What do you put on your bagel?

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Just the, um.

• 14:37Andrew Santino?

  Cream cheese? What kind of bagel?

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Just a plain bagel.

• 14:42Andrew Santino?

  Plain cream cheese? Why even go to somewhere special?

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:45Andrew Santino?

  Introduce our guest.

• 14:46Bobby Lee?

  Everybody, headliner, New York, special, he has a special on Netflix right now. He, um, he has a movie. He has a movie he did, he directed, that you're in.

• 14:59Andrew Santino?

  I'm in a movie that he did, yeah.

• 15:00Bobby Lee?

  He plays his agent, you know what I mean, in a movie.

• 15:01Andrew Santino?

  I did.

• 15:02Bobby Lee?

  Um, he is, um, handsome.

• 15:06Bobby Lee?

  He's like a combination between Slenderman and Michael Phelps.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 15:11Bobby Lee?

  Uh-huh.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  You look great, dude.

• 15:14Bobby Lee?

  You said that yesterday.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  You do, you look good.

• 15:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, thank you.

• 15:18Andrew Santino?

  You look really good.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  You look healthy.

• 15:20Andrew Santino?

  Why don't you do a reintroduction? Do a real good introduction. Here we go. Do a right one.

• 15:32Andrew Santino?

  Sam Morril is here. Sam Morril is here.

• 15:35Bobby Lee?

  Okay, that's good.

• 15:36Andrew Santino?

  Sam Morril's here, everybody.

• 15:37Bobby Lee?

  Sam Morril, give it up for Sam.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  Oh, thanks.

• 15:40Andrew Santino?

  Sam, Sam's got a great special on Netflix that's out right now. Please go watch his new special. Go watch all of his specials, actually, but, uh, there's a new one that just came out right now.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Incorrect is the name, yeah.

• 15:51Andrew Santino?

  Incorrect.

• 15:51Bobby Lee?

  It's called Incorrect.

• 15:52Andrew Santino?

  And it's very correct.

• 15:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:54Andrew Santino?

  You come correct. Bobby's got a special coming out next month as well.

• 15:57Bobby Lee?

  I understand that, but it's about Sam today.

• 15:58Andrew Santino?

  But Sam's special is on Netflix and yours is on Hulu.

• 16:02Bobby Lee?

  Yours was on Hulu.

• 16:03Andrew Santino?

  You know what? We were happy to be on Hulu. Hulu did a very good job with our specials, and we're so happy to be a part of the Hularious family.

• 16:09Bobby Lee?

  We love it.

• 16:10Andrew Santino?

  We loved it.

• 16:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're a part of like, dong-dong, but don't.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  I, I went to Amazon for my last one.

• 16:19Andrew Santino?

  That's their intro music when you open Amazon.

• 16:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we, we enjoyed it on Hulu. It's been great, but you have a special on Netflix right now. It's, it's, uh, incredible as usual, and Sam, thank you for coming back to the show. We appreciate you.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  I didn't see this movie. I don't know what I'm dressed as.

• 16:34Andrew Santino?

  But did you see this movie, Obsession, where I'm bare?

• 16:36Speaker 01

  I liked that.

• 16:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 16:38Bobby Lee?

  You liked it?

• 16:38Speaker 01

  That was a fun movie.

• 16:39Bobby Lee?

  It was good, dude.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  It's a fun movie.

• 16:41Andrew Santino?

  I'll make a wish right now. Do we get any wish sticks that I can crack one? Give me one, I can, I can make one right now. Throw me, oh, let's all make a wish stick.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  Wishing will.

• 16:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, shit. Oh, shit, what am I gonna wish for?

• 16:50Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wishing willow. We all get to wish on the wishing pile.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  A wish? Oh, shit. This is real?

• 16:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's gonna come true, too.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 16:56Andrew Santino?

  All right, Bob, you want to go first or last?

• 16:57Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna go first.

• 16:58Andrew Santino?

  All right, go ahead.

• 16:59Bobby Lee?

  Um.

• 17:02Andrew Santino?

  How's it smell?

• 17:02Speaker 01

  Doesn't smell.

• 17:04Andrew Santino?

  Good.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  It's okay.

• 17:06Bobby Lee?

  Was that gay?

• 17:09Andrew Santino?

  Imagine when he did that, everyone in West Hollywood got their dick sucked at the exact same time.

• 17:13Bobby Lee?

  Maybe.

• 17:13Andrew Santino?

  He puts his mouth, everyone's like.

• 17:16Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 17:17Bobby Lee?

  Let me break that thing, sorry, my bad.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  What's your, do you have to announce your wish?

• 17:20Andrew Santino?

  No, you're not supposed to. No, in the movie, he does. He says it out loud. You have to say it out loud for it to become true.

• 17:26Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 17:26Andrew Santino?

  Otherwise, how does the audience know?

• 17:29Bobby Lee?

  I wish my mom lives for another 10 years.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  That's a good one. Why not 20, though?

• 17:34Bobby Lee?

  She's old.

• 17:36Bobby Lee?

  She's not gonna make it. I'll go do 20.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  20?

• 17:39Bobby Lee?

  100.

• 17:40Andrew Santino?

  100 or?

• 17:41Bobby Lee?

  No, she'll be 100 years old.

• 17:42Andrew Santino?

  You want her to go to 100?

• 17:43Bobby Lee?

  100 years old. Ready?

• 17:46Bobby Lee?

  Wow, it's gonna come true. If she dies, this doesn't work.

• 17:51Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  I want Bobby's mom to die.

• 17:56Bobby Lee?

  What happened? Oh, now he just did reversal.

• 17:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, so now she's not gonna die.

• 18:01Bobby Lee?

  Now, she is gonna die.

• 18:02Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  You gotta undo.

• 18:03Andrew Santino?

  Go ahead, Jules.

• 18:06Andrew Santino?

  Jules, do the right thing here.

• 18:10Andrew Santino?

  Into the mic, do the right thing.

• 18:12Bobby Lee?

  You gotta say it.

• 18:14Speaker 02

  My dogs live forever.

• 18:19Andrew Santino?

  Very good. I hope Rudy's dogs die real soon.

• 18:25Bobby Lee?

  So what happens now?

• 18:27Andrew Santino?

  It's a nil. It's nil-nil.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Nothing happened.

• 18:29Andrew Santino?

  We're all even.

• 18:29Bobby Lee?

  We fucked these up! You could ask for a billion dollars!

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Fuck, I could've. But it didn't work out for that guy.

• 18:36Andrew Santino?

  It did not work out for that guy.

• 18:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you make the wish, you leave the room, so you don't get, you know what I mean?

• 18:40Andrew Santino?

  Killed by money?

• 18:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, killed by money. So, um, well, that was a waste.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, sorry, bud.

• 18:45Bobby Lee?

  These are $3,000 apiece.

• 18:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we shouldn't have bought these. These are expensive.

• 18:48Bobby Lee?

  They're from Hungary, dude.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  Are they really from Hungary?

• 18:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:51Andrew Santino?

  Rudy has no idea.

• 18:52Bobby Lee?

  I have no idea.

• 18:53Andrew Santino?

  He does none of the.

• 18:53Bobby Lee?

  I just make things up.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  I was just in Hungary.

• 18:56Bobby Lee?

  I've been there too. Where were you? Budapest?

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:59Bobby Lee?

  What were you doing?

• 18:59Speaker 01

  Comedy.

• 19:00Bobby Lee?

  You did stand-up in Budapest?

• 19:01Speaker 01

  I did stand-up in Budapest. Sad fucking place.

• 19:03Andrew Santino?

  I loved it.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  It's beautiful, but you, you're actually the one who told me to go. You went there for a movie.

• 19:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I loved it, dude.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude.

• 19:09Andrew Santino?

  What, you didn't like it?

• 19:10Speaker 01

  I loved it. It was, uh, it was a darkness.

• 19:12Bobby Lee?

  But the.

• 19:13Andrew Santino?

  Did you go to the hot springs?

• 19:14Speaker 01

  I did.

• 19:15Andrew Santino?

  You didn't like it?

• 19:16Speaker 01

  I loved it.

• 19:16Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I loved it.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  It was amazing.

• 19:18Andrew Santino?

  I had so much fun. I think Budapest can be, when you go down a couple of roads, you're like, uh-oh.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, uh-oh, but for the most part.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Especially in the 1940s.

• 19:25Andrew Santino?

  Ro-ro.

• 19:26Bobby Lee?

  Ro-ro. Howl. I said that, remember what happened with, where I fucked up that, with Jamie?

• 19:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he knows that. He doesn't know that story.

• 19:34Speaker 01

  What happened?

• 19:37Bobby Lee?

  What? Can I tell you?

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Well, yeah.

• 19:39Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so I, I go to Budapest, cause I'm doing this movie, and my agent's like, none of these stars are gonna fuck with you, just be on your own. And I like.

• 19:48Andrew Santino?

  Always a good agent thing to say to your client.

• 19:49Bobby Lee?

  No, because they know me. Right? So I go, okay, I'll stay by myself, right? So when I go to my hotel room, there's a letter by, from Jamie Lee Curtis.

• 19:57Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 19:58Bobby Lee?

  And she goes, hey, I don't know you, but I know you know my godfather, son Jake, Jalen Hall. He's like, so meet me tomorrow at noon, we'll have, we'll have breakfast. Like a brunch. So I was super excited. And I show up, and it's like Jamie and a bunch of other actors, like six other actors. Jamie goes, come by the river, I wanna show you something. Right? Now, I don't know anybody, okay? I'm nervous, right? Cause I want them to think I'm funny.

• 20:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:26Bobby Lee?

  Right? So we go.

• 20:27Andrew Santino?

  But little do they know.

• 20:28Bobby Lee?

  Little.

• 20:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's coming.

• 20:34Andrew Santino?

  It's coming.

• 20:35Bobby Lee?

  It's coming. So there are these little shoes on the side of the river. They're bronze shoes.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:40Bobby Lee?

  And Jamie goes, um, she's tearing up, and she's like, in the 40s, you know? Nazis came in here, and they took Jewish Hungarian citizens, and they shot them and threw them in the river, and that's why we have bronze shoes there. And, and everyone's like, getting emotional, right? And there was this male Broadway actor. He has two sons, right? And he looks at these little baby shoes along the river, and she, he goes, oh my god, they shot a baby! And I go, it could've been a midget!

• 21:16Andrew Santino?

  Bobby, what the fuck?

• 21:17Bobby Lee?

  And so then, everyone walks away from me. So I'm now by the river, just looking at these shoes. Right, going, I just fuck, I'm gonna get fired.

• 21:28Andrew Santino?

  And that's why the movie bombed.

• 21:33Bobby Lee?

  Liquid IV! Oh my god, you know, water's not enough for me, baby.

• 21:36Andrew Santino?

  It's not. It's not for me anymore.

• 21:38Bobby Lee?

  And sometimes I use some salt to get the water into my, you know, my system.

• 21:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 21:43Bobby Lee?

  Right? But you know what the better option is? Liquid IV, dude.

• 21:46Andrew Santino?

  Way, way better.

• 21:47Bobby Lee?

  And I, this new, they have a couple of new flavors, right?

• 21:49Andrew Santino?

  I love their stuff.

• 21:50Bobby Lee?

  This Ring Pop, and they also have that, you know that, um, popsicle with the different, the bottle rocket?

• 21:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, the bottle rocket.

• 21:56Bobby Lee?

  They have a flavor like that, too. This is a great product here.

• 21:59Andrew Santino?

  Liquid IV is delicious.

• 22:00Bobby Lee?

  They come in these little packages here, like.

• 22:01Andrew Santino?

  One stick of Liquid IV and 16 ounces of water is more hydrating than water alone, of course. It's three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink, plus eight vitamins and nutrients, all in one single stick. It's scientifically formulated, we love science over here, to replenish. It's so, so good. Clinically demonstrated, hydrates faster than water alone, backed by science, baby.

• 22:18Bobby Lee?

  We have beautiful flavors, dude. Like I said, sugar-free lemon lime, sugar-free white peach, delicate and floral. This luscious stone fruit flavored delights, taste buds with notes of pear and pineapple, sugar-free raspberry melon, tart notes of raspberry, and the luscious flavor of ripe melon. We also have SF green grape.

• 22:36Andrew Santino?

  They got the hydration multiplier variety pack, which we love very much, cause they got lemon lime, passion fruit, tropical punch, and strawberry. My favorite, of course, being tropical punch. It reminds me of those childhood drinks without all that nasty stuff in it. This stuff is delicious and good and good for you. Not sure which Liquid IV flavor to try. Try shopping the sugar-free hydration multiplier variety pack. Tear, pour, live more.

• 22:58Bobby Lee?

  Go to liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first purchase with code 2026BF at checkout.

• 23:05Andrew Santino?

  That's 20% off your first purchase with code 2026BF at liquidiv.com.

• 23:11Bobby Lee?

  Ladder! You know what? I'm thinking about working out, for real.

• 23:15Andrew Santino?

  No, because you.

• 23:15Bobby Lee?

  And I'll tell you why. Ladder makes me wanna do it.

• 23:17Andrew Santino?

  Because Hilary Duff used it, and that's all you need to know.

• 23:20Bobby Lee?

  I'm a big fan of hers.

• 23:21Andrew Santino?

  Big fan.

• 23:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:22Andrew Santino?

  Uh, Ladder is an expert strength training plan, not a content library, not, you know, not influencer workouts and challenges. It's real progressive programming designed by a certified coach.

• 23:31Bobby Lee?

  A real coach in your ear on every set. What's next? What weight? And why behind it? The thinking is done. You just lift.

• 23:39Andrew Santino?

  All you gotta do is lift. Look, I've tried a bunch of different plans over the years. I've tried different coaching plans, teaching plans, all this stuff. Ladder is incredible. It works wherever you are with whatever you got. You got home dumbbells, you got a full gym, you're in a hotel, bodybuilding, strength and conditioning training, they literally have it all. It's nutrition built in at no extra cost. They have AI-powered, uh, logging and macro insights integrated with training, so you can help also eat well while you're working out, and the progress is tracked automatically, weights, reps, sets. Remember, you watch yourself get stronger.

• 24:06Bobby Lee?

  Less than $1 a day.

• 24:08Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 24:09Bobby Lee?

  Elite programming for a fraction of a hundred doll, a hundred dollar session trainer, and a seven-day no credit card trial to try it out.

• 24:16Andrew Santino?

  That's right. That's very cheap. It's very affordable, and I'm telling you, uh, remove the guesswork with Ladder, and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every single workout. No thinking, everything planned for you.

• 24:28Bobby Lee?

  If you're a guy who's been meaning to get back to it like me, this is the way back. If you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/bf and take a quick quiz to get matched with your coach and the right plan for you.

• 24:41Andrew Santino?

  Use our link and get a free seven-day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  At Zocdoc, we know you care about your health. You wouldn't do that early morning cardio if you didn't. So the fact that your annual physical is overdue just shows how hard it can be to get seen by a doctor. Sorry, that doctor's not in network.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  Press 1 for more options. You've reached us outside normal business hours.

• 25:04Speaker 02

  The next availability is in three months. But Zocdoc makes finding the right doctor easy. Download the app and search by specialty, insurance, and availability. Read real patient reviews, then book instantly. Zocdoc, ready to be seen.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  No, Budapest is, it's a beautiful city. Rosenstein's, maybe the best meal of my life.

• 25:22Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, dude.

• 25:23Bobby Lee?

  Unreal. Where, where's Rosenstein's?

• 25:24Andrew Santino?

  Did you go in Budapest?

• 25:26Bobby Lee?

  The only place I ate was Nobu.

• 25:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's very, that's very Hungarian, Nobu. When I go to Hungary, I only wanna eat at Nobu. Yeah, there's Rosenstein's.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  Oh, it's good, dude.

• 25:36Bobby Lee?

  So they have, um, what's that?

• 25:38Speaker 01

  Get some goulash?

• 25:39Bobby Lee?

  Goulash is their favorite.

• 25:40Andrew Santino?

  It's, it's quite good. I went there when we were there with one of the, with director and his wife, and it was phenomenal, dude. It's such a good meal. What's the name of the, of the Jewish neighborhood? It's like the third, they're like wards, right? Aren't they wards or the, how do they title them? They title them in a way in the neighborhoods. They're called like sections or wards or whatever. But we went to the Jewish neighborhood.

• 25:59Andrew Santino?

  It's, dude, it's, they're, it's popping too. Districts, districts, that's what I call it. District 5. I saw that movie.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Great fucking movie.

• 26:07Andrew Santino?

  Great movie. District 9.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love that.

• 26:08Andrew Santino?

  Chart, Chartokopli. Yeah, it's good.

• 26:11Bobby Lee?

  Was that, was that the one in South Africa?

• 26:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 26:14Bobby Lee?

  District 9.

• 26:15Andrew Santino?

  District 9.

• 26:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was a very good movie. You have any questions to ask Sam? I know you said.

• 26:19Bobby Lee?

  You guys never met, so you, you, no, no, you have, so you've never, you don't know Sam? Okay.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  I know her from the clips.

• 26:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she, yeah, but you guys have never met.

• 26:28Andrew Santino?

  You've never seen this guy? He's a very famous comedian.

• 26:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:30Andrew Santino?

  Are you British? Yes.

• 26:34Bobby Lee?

  Yes, he is. He's from Liverpool.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  I fucking love Liverpool. Have you been there?

• 26:40Andrew Santino?

  Liverpool rules.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 26:41Bobby Lee?

  Tell me about Liverpool.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  I had like the craziest night of my life there. I met this woman there, like, we were like, we hit it off to the point. You, you, you ever look at that like you're doing a, a Euro run, and you're like, ah, this is the one I'm not looking forward to? And it, of course, ends up being the best night.

• 26:53Andrew Santino?

  Of course.

• 26:54Bobby Lee?

  Of course, yeah.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, we just met, we hit it off. She was so cool, and it was a whole thing where I was like, come to, come to London with me next. And she was like, I'm coming, I'm gonna come to London with you.

• 27:03Bobby Lee?

  Did you fly her out?

• 27:04Speaker 01

  No, I said, you don't fly to London from Liverpool. It's like a short drive.

• 27:08Andrew Santino?

  Sam, Sam, Sam. He doesn't.

• 27:11Bobby Lee?

  No, what, what, I, I don't what? What do you mean?

• 27:16Andrew Santino?

  He's, um.

• 27:17Bobby Lee?

  You, you, you, we have small planes, Buddy Holly planes.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  We'll take one to the Comedy Store later tonight.

• 27:24Bobby Lee?

  Hey, wait.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  So, uh, yeah.

• 27:26Bobby Lee?

  I, I didn't know the distance!

• 27:27Speaker 01

  It's not far. So I said, we're taking a train. There, we're taking a train. Uh, you would've had some great jokes for Jamie Lee Curtis about that train, too.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  Wanna hear those?

• 27:36Andrew Santino?

  Where is this going?

• 27:40Speaker 01

  So, uh, I say, meet me at the train station, and she gets cold feet at the end.

• 27:44Andrew Santino?

  What, she bailed?

• 27:45Speaker 01

  She bailed. She goes, I'm scared you're gonna traffic me. And I was like, fair enough. It's taking fucked up young women, they, they think.

• 27:51Andrew Santino?

  She said, yeah, you say that to her, and then you, you're like, I understand. You call, you pick up the phone, and you're like, boys, she's not gonna do it.

• 27:58Speaker 01

  I was like, look, you are pretty hot. You, you should be scared of getting trafficked.

• 28:01Andrew Santino?

  So, but did you meet her at a show?

• 28:03Speaker 01

  I met her at a bar.

• 28:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, wow.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  I went out with the audience afterwards. I never do, but they were so cool.

• 28:08Andrew Santino?

  You Kreischer'd it.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  I Kreischer'd it, dude.

• 28:10Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:11Andrew Santino?

  He does that every time. He goes out, well, I mean, he used to a lot, go out to the bars with everybody. He'd invite them to a bar.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  They were so cool by the bar that I was like, let's all fucking go out. And we just pulled an all-nighter, it was a wild night.

• 28:21Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 28:21Andrew Santino?

  And did she sound like, uh, one of the Beatles?

• 28:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a rough accent.

• 28:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  You gotta get past it.

• 28:26Andrew Santino?

  He's like, I kinda wanna go with you, but I can't.

• 28:30Andrew Santino?

  I'd love to slob on your knob.

• 28:33Andrew Santino?

  But I don't think it's in my best interest.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, so, but she would still message me every. Every now and very nice, very nice woman.

• 28:40Andrew Santino?

  She's out of your life now.

• 28:41Bobby Lee?

  You never thought me.

• 28:41Andrew Santino?

  She missed, what an opportunity she missed. She could have been sitting courtside at Knicks games while they won a championship. Does she know?

• 28:47Speaker 01

  Every girl from Liverpool's dream is a Knicks basketball game. Yeah, no, she, uh, she said, I regret not going.

• 28:53Andrew Santino?

  Of course.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  A while later, but yeah, but you know.

• 28:55Andrew Santino?

  I'd love to meet Jalen Brunson.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  But, uh, no, she was, she was an awesome person.

• 29:01Andrew Santino?

  Well, that, but that is one of those stories where we've talked about that, where shows we think might be bad are great. And the ones we think might be very good, not so good.

• 29:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:10Andrew Santino?

  Dude, not so good.

• 29:10Bobby Lee?

  For me, it's always bad.

• 29:13Andrew Santino?

  Shut up.

• 29:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, no, it's always bad. I know it's gonna be bad. I know, you, you know, Atlantic City.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  That's a, could be a tough one.

• 29:21Andrew Santino?

  That's a tough, tough sell.

• 29:22Bobby Lee?

  We, we knew it was, when I showed up at that place, I go, this is gonna be rough. And it was, right?

• 29:28Speaker 01

  Which venue was it? Borgata, Tropicana? Borgata.

• 29:31Andrew Santino?

  Borgata.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  That's a, that's a good one, too.

• 29:33Andrew Santino?

  They did put up signs that said, go away Bobby Lee. I thought that was like a bad.

• 29:36Bobby Lee?

  That was really strange.

• 29:37Andrew Santino?

  I don't know why they did that.

• 29:38Bobby Lee?

  Neon, too.

• 29:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was bright.

• 29:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it was bright, but, um, yeah, that was a terrible show. I cried on stage.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  What?

• 29:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I, I had a single, you know, I mean, Native American, Native American trash, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? When you throw the trash, I had one of those tears.

• 29:54Andrew Santino?

  A reference to a commercial that's 75 years old.

• 29:56Bobby Lee?

  I don't care.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  No, let him go into his, where's the beef chunk next?

• 30:04Speaker 01

  Lorena Bobbitt's in the news, everybody. What do you think?

• 30:08Andrew Santino?

  OJ, did he do it?

• 30:09Speaker 01

  I love you, Bobby. I see you getting upset.

• 30:12Andrew Santino?

  The only reason Sam's coming with this very beautiful energy is because when you walked in, you physically attacked him.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  You did.

• 30:18Andrew Santino?

  You, you tried to punch him in the neck.

• 30:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we're friends. That's what friends do. I mean, I'm sorry, I'm not New York, you know, this is how West Coast, it's West Coast vibes.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  I got it, man.

• 30:30Bobby Lee?

  What's that, you know, that kind of thing? You keep saying that, I'm beginning to not believe you.

• 30:34Speaker 01

  I like the hat, I like the.

• 30:36Bobby Lee?

  But my point is, is that, yeah, I have that, you know?

• 30:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so.

• 30:39Andrew Santino?

  Nothing says chill like punching people in the neck.

• 30:42Bobby Lee?

  It was playful.

• 30:43Andrew Santino?

  Welcome, bro.

• 30:45Bobby Lee?

  You know what it is? It's a little man's complex.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  Wow, you never hear people say that.

• 30:49Andrew Santino?

  I do.

• 30:50Speaker 01

  But, but they never admit it, I feel.

• 30:52Andrew Santino?

  No, he, he's, he's.

• 30:53Speaker 01

  Did you reach?

• 30:55Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 30:56Speaker 01

  Did you reach?

• 30:56Bobby Lee?

  No, I didn't reach. Yeah, that's, okay. What are you fucking getting involved for, fuckface?

• 31:02Speaker 01

  Crazy reach Asians.

• 31:05Bobby Lee?

  What I'm saying is, is that when I see a taller white man.

• 31:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 31:09Bobby Lee?

  Right? I have to sort of kind of show dominance a little bit.

• 31:12Andrew Santino?

  Made it about race, it was about height, but he made it about race.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  It's like the prison cell thing, you're, you're doing.

• 31:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you attacked the biggest guy in prison day one.

• 31:18Bobby Lee?

  That's what you do.

• 31:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, so Bobby would go kiss him.

• 31:20Bobby Lee?

  Hey, bro, I'm fucking crazy, dude.

• 31:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, right, dude. You'd run up, right up to a guy and be like, you want me to get you French toes?

• 31:27Bobby Lee?

  When I'm in prison, dude, I'm going crazy.

• 31:29Andrew Santino?

  No way.

• 31:30Bobby Lee?

  Yes, I am!

• 31:31Andrew Santino?

  Dude, you're pulling your pants down and you're opening your butthole the moment you're in prison.

• 31:34Bobby Lee?

  That's crazy.

• 31:35Andrew Santino?

  I know you.

• 31:36Bobby Lee?

  There's.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Wait, you think that's a move?

• 31:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  You think opening your butthole, you're like, look how fucking crazy I am, dude.

• 31:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:43Andrew Santino?

  That's not.

• 31:43Bobby Lee?

  I dare you.

• 31:44Andrew Santino?

  I dare you.

• 31:46Bobby Lee?

  You do reverse psychology.

• 31:47Andrew Santino?

  That's smart.

• 31:48Bobby Lee?

  Cause you're gonna die. I have, I have it all.

• 31:51Andrew Santino?

  I have it all.

• 31:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, hiv. You know what I mean? The list goes on.

• 31:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the list goes on.

• 31:59Andrew Santino?

  Ask, ask Sam the burning question that you, you asked us before the show, you wanted to ask him. Go ahead, you can ask him now, he's here. Ask him.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  Are you gay?

• 32:06Speaker 01

  Am I gay? No, do you think I was? Do I seem gay?

• 32:10Speaker 02

  A little bit.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  I take it, I take it as a compliment.

• 32:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:14Andrew Santino?

  Yes, it is.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  Gay dudes are fit, they're often well.

• 32:16Bobby Lee?

  You also have an artistic kind of femme about you, this is cool.

• 32:19Speaker 02

  You, you just look cooler.

• 32:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're welcome.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  All right.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  You look cooler than them.

• 32:24Bobby Lee?

  No. Yeah, yeah.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  I mean, him for sure, but not both of them.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 32:29Bobby Lee?

  Why, why do you do this?

• 32:31Speaker 01

  Cause you would.

• 32:31Bobby Lee?

  Why is there direct lined?

• 32:33Andrew Santino?

  You did attack him.

• 32:34Bobby Lee?

  How did I attack you, guy?

• 32:35Andrew Santino?

  The moment he walked in, you started to jump on him and attack him.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  You were, I never know what Bobby I'm gonna get.

• 32:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  You can either be the warmest Bobby ever, or you, it, it's like, oh, you're gonna fuck with me for all day.

• 32:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Today, you know what, you know, I'll ease up on it.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  No, I like when you fuck with.

• 32:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you attacked me sometimes, too.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  Do I?

• 32:52Bobby Lee?

  No, you were more helpful than anything, anybody else.

• 32:55Andrew Santino?

  Sam's not an aggressor.

• 32:56Bobby Lee?

  Dude, can I ask you, I brought this up yesterday, um, I did a text to you.

• 33:02Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 33:03Bobby Lee?

  When I was in New York, right?

• 33:05Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:06Bobby Lee?

  Where's good spots to eat? And everyone responded, except for you.

• 33:12Andrew Santino?

  That's impossible.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  Dude, no one responded.

• 33:14Bobby Lee?

  I know, you're the only one who responded, but then the other people responded days after that.

• 33:18Andrew Santino?

  Well, you sent a group text?

• 33:18Bobby Lee?

  I did.

• 33:19Andrew Santino?

  Don't ever group text me, don't, just text me directly. I've always given you good restaurant recs, you know that, but I didn't, I probably didn't, I probably saw a group text and went, fuck this.

• 33:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:28Andrew Santino?

  Cause when there's nine people, you're like, I'm not, I don't wanna do this dance with other people.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  I got back to you immediately.

• 33:33Bobby Lee?

  You're the only one that did it.

• 33:35Andrew Santino?

  What did you recommend?

• 33:36Bobby Lee?

  Latrusi.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  Lartuzzi, the restaurant?

• 33:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  It's a good spot.

• 33:39Andrew Santino?

  It's a very good spot.

• 33:40Bobby Lee?

  I know, I think I've been there with you.

• 33:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, me and you, eh, we did go there.

• 33:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Latruzzi, yeah.

• 33:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we did.

• 33:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:44Andrew Santino?

  We went with, um, Mateo?

• 33:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Mateo, yeah.

• 33:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Mateo.

• 33:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Mateo, our favorite sweet, sweet little New York boy.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  I love that dude.

• 33:54Bobby Lee?

  Dude.

• 33:55Andrew Santino?

  No one's in better shape in comedy.

• 33:56Bobby Lee?

  Elite gay.

• 33:57Andrew Santino?

  Elite gay!

• 33:58Bobby Lee?

  Dude, he's elite gay, you know Mateo?

• 34:00Andrew Santino?

  S-tier, S-tier gay.

• 34:01Bobby Lee?

  Look up Mateo, dude, this is elite gay, dude.

• 34:03Andrew Santino?

  We see how fucking hot this guy is.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  This guy's gay.

• 34:06Andrew Santino?

  This guy's gay, that's what gay is.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  I would kill to look like that, come on.

• 34:09Bobby Lee?

  Look at that, dude.

• 34:10Andrew Santino?

  His Instagram.

• 34:11Speaker 01

  That's like an old pic, too, I feel like he's more ripped.

• 34:13Andrew Santino?

  Oh, he's way more ripped.

• 34:14Bobby Lee?

  More ripped now.

• 34:14Andrew Santino?

  His Instagram is like porn at this point. I see photos of him in the beach, I'm like, good god, Mateo.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  I can't get on Pornhub in Texas, I look at his fucking IG.

• 34:21Andrew Santino?

  Look at, zoom in on that. You need a VPN.

• 34:24Bobby Lee?

  Dude, dude, dude, elite, look at that shit.

• 34:27Andrew Santino?

  That's top gay.

• 34:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  He's got the V kinda, too, look at that.

• 34:30Andrew Santino?

  Brother, he's got him.

• 34:31Bobby Lee?

  He's got everything, dude. I like his friend Nick.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  I like Nick.

• 34:34Andrew Santino?

  Nick is great.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:35Andrew Santino?

  And look at that, meatballs, pasta, like he eats any of that shit, look at his fucking body.

• 34:39Bobby Lee?

  Is that Nick?

• 34:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, there's Nick.

• 34:40Bobby Lee?

  There's Nick.

• 34:40Andrew Santino?

  We love Nick.

• 34:41Bobby Lee?

  Elite gay, Nick.

• 34:43Andrew Santino?

  Now, see, the guy on the right, you would go, yes. The guy on the left, you'd go, don't know.

• 34:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:47Speaker 01

  In that picture, it's hard to tell.

• 34:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  Have you seen those things online where they're like, show you a picture and they're like, is this guy gay? And the guy's always like, definitely. And then they take a picture of him and the next guy's like.

• 34:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's definitely got to see that, yeah.

• 34:58Andrew Santino?

  He goes, would you, would people think, would you think people think you're, look at that, Jesus.

• 35:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, dude. Move over, whoever.

• 35:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  But the work to maintain that.

• 35:08Andrew Santino?

  To maintain a body like that is, you gotta stay in the gym.

• 35:11Bobby Lee?

  But.

• 35:12Andrew Santino?

  I wanna go, I wanna go to Bobby's gym, let's have Bobby open up the gym.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  You go to the gym? Never?

• 35:16Bobby Lee?

  Dude, what, you don't like, you know what, your laughs, your little twerks and your little bullshit? I'm fucking tired of that shit right now, dude.

• 35:23Andrew Santino?

  Dude, you at the gym, never.

• 35:25Bobby Lee?

  Fuck you, I've been to the gym, you asshole.

• 35:27Andrew Santino?

  What gym?

• 35:27Speaker 01

  What do you do?

• 35:28Bobby Lee?

  What, what do you do? There was one on La Brea, it was a boxing gym that I used to go to.

• 35:31Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you went to 30 years ago.

• 35:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you asked me if I've been to a fucking gym, I've been to a fucking gym, man.

• 35:36Andrew Santino?

  He's saying, do you go to the gym? It's a current, it's a, it's a.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  I have a Peloton bike.

• 35:40Bobby Lee?

  I have a Peloton bike, and I have little weights at home.

• 35:42Andrew Santino?

  You don't even say it right.

• 35:43Bobby Lee?

  And I have a little, I have a little hang thing.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:46Andrew Santino?

  You do.

• 35:46Bobby Lee?

  You wanna see me hang, dude?

• 35:47Andrew Santino?

  See him hang.

• 35:48Bobby Lee?

  Dude, I hang for days, dude.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  Really?

• 35:50Andrew Santino?

  That's for how, that's how she sleeps.

• 35:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Backwards, he's a bat.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  My girlfriend, my girlfriend's son was trying to sleep upside down, and I was like, you can't sleep upside down. And, and he was like, I'm, I'm doing it. And the way I had to convince him not to is, well, if you do, you'll look like this, and I showed him a picture of Stephen Hawking.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  And he was like, oh shit, and he slept the right way.

• 36:10Andrew Santino?

  That's parenting from Sam Morril, dude.

• 36:11Bobby Lee?

  Parenting.

• 36:12Speaker 01

  It worked.

• 36:12Andrew Santino?

  Does he, now, does he, because you're the male influence now.

• 36:16Speaker 01

  Well, he's got a dad.

• 36:17Andrew Santino?

  I know, but I mean, around, when you're there.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:19Andrew Santino?

  Like, does, do you have to do the guy thing, like, do you have to go to the bathroom and stuff like that, or no?

• 36:23Speaker 01

  I haven't, no, he can poop.

• 36:24Andrew Santino?

  He can poop.

• 36:24Speaker 01

  He can poop.

• 36:25Andrew Santino?

  He can poop. But I mean, if you're at like a, say you're at a game.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:28Andrew Santino?

  Say you're at like a sporting event. She, he, she doesn't want him to go to the bathroom alone. You gotta go.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  Oh shit, I've been sending him off. No, I go, I go.

• 36:35Bobby Lee?

  You have a son?

• 36:36Speaker 01

  I have, my girlfriend's got a son.

• 36:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 36:37Andrew Santino?

  And he's, you know, he's, yeah.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  Trying to step in.

• 36:40Andrew Santino?

  Step in, step up.

• 36:41Bobby Lee?

  How is the son?

• 36:42Speaker 01

  He's six.

• 36:43Andrew Santino?

  The, the guy that stepped up. That's what it is, I'm a stepdad, I stepped up.

• 36:47Bobby Lee?

  That's great, man. I've done that before, too.

• 36:49Speaker 01

  I guess you could say I'm a stand-up guy in a lot of ways.

• 36:51Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 36:53Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 36:54Andrew Santino?

  You really are.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:55Bobby Lee?

  Anyway.

• 36:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you've done that before.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  Bobby.

• 36:59Bobby Lee?

  I love you.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  I feel like you'd be good with kids.

• 37:03Bobby Lee?

  You know what, I, I am good with children, and.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  It's creepier when you said children.

• 37:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 37:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good with kids.

• 37:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I met your kid.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 37:12Bobby Lee?

  Was I not nice to your kid?

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, she didn't have nightmares, so.

• 37:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a cute kid, have you seen his kid?

• 37:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I've seen his, I've met his daughter.

• 37:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's so cute.

• 37:21Andrew Santino?

  She's the best.

• 37:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's shocking that it came from his balls.

• 37:23Bobby Lee?

  It's, it really is shocking. I think she's got a good future.

• 37:27Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 37:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know what, I'll put her on my will.

• 37:31Bobby Lee?

  I had to meet them first before I put them on my will. I was offering that, remember I was offering that?

• 37:36Andrew Santino?

  Wills, yeah, you're willing up.

• 37:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah. I've been manipulating people through my will.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  Do you have a will?

• 37:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, do this for me.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  I knew you were in bad health, but holy shit.

• 37:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  You're working on the will already?

• 37:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And I say, um, do this for me, and, and I'll put your kid on my will.

• 37:51Andrew Santino?

  None of it worked, by the way.

• 37:52Bobby Lee?

  None of them worked.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  What kind of, what kind of stuff are you leaving behind? I wanna, I wanna hear this will.

• 37:56Bobby Lee?

  Cash. And properties.

• 38:00Andrew Santino?

  Cash and property.

• 38:01Bobby Lee?

  And people will go, no, fuck you, I'm not doing that.

• 38:04Andrew Santino?

  Why, they just don't know how dirty the cash is.

• 38:06Speaker 01

  This is your new show.

• 38:08Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 38:08Speaker 01

  The, the will.

• 38:09Bobby Lee?

  You think so?

• 38:10Speaker 01

  You get people to do shit for you.

• 38:11Bobby Lee?

  For my will.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 38:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. It's like when Diddy had that show and he made people walk across the bridge for, for cake. This is your Diddy.

• 38:21Andrew Santino?

  This is your Diddy show, how to make it in the will.

• 38:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you should, you should do a show where you leave young comedians parts of your will.

• 38:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:30Andrew Santino?

  Based on what, what do they need to do for you?

• 38:32Bobby Lee?

  Well, I already have certain guys, like, I think Ramsey Badawi will be my will.

• 38:36Andrew Santino?

  You're gonna put Ran, you're really gonna put him in your will, the guy that opens for you?

• 38:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  Wow, how much money are we talking? By them, nothing.

• 38:45Bobby Lee?

  You're so rude, dude. What a rude man you are.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:50Andrew Santino?

  As you go to the.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  What's like your big, like, what do you spend your money? What's like a big Bobby thing?

• 38:53Bobby Lee?

  Guess.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  I'm restaurants is one thing.

• 38:56Bobby Lee?

  Restaurants is huge.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  But like, what's another nice clothes?

• 39:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 39:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Clothes smells. You know, I've been doing the smell eucalyptus 20. From La Labo, you know, you gotta wear it.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  One of those.

• 39:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, eucalyptus 20, you gotta.

• 39:12Andrew Santino?

  He's mocking, that's what I wear.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 39:14Andrew Santino?

  He found out what I wear and now he's.

• 39:16Bobby Lee?

  You wear a scent?

• 39:17Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, I put on cologne. You don't put on cologne?

• 39:18Bobby Lee?

  Signature scent?

• 39:19Speaker 01

  You wanna try it? I wanna smell it.

• 39:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Smell like Android. You gotta smell like Android.

• 39:26Andrew Santino?

  By the way, it's turned into a plug for La Labo.

• 39:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:28Bobby Lee?

  I know. Also, can I say this too? Yesterday I said something that made you kinda mad.

• 39:33Andrew Santino?

  What was it?

• 39:34Bobby Lee?

  It was a slight thing, but it was.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  This is strong as hell.

• 39:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, do you like it?

• 39:38Andrew Santino?

  You don't need all of it.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  I just.

• 39:40Andrew Santino?

  Oh, is it pouring out?

• 39:41Speaker 01

  Oh, I did. Yeah, I fucked up.

• 39:42Bobby Lee?

  What do you? So you weren't just natural pheromones?

• 39:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's your thing. Yeah.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  I guess.

• 39:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but yesterday, um. I said to you, right when you left the the office.

• 39:53Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 39:54Bobby Lee?

  I go, I promise I won't buy those shoes. Cause the shoes that you've been wearing, I really like those.

• 40:00Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you like those?

• 40:01Bobby Lee?

  I'm not gonna buy them.

• 40:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you're not.

• 40:03Bobby Lee?

  And I'm not gonna steal your style.

• 40:05Andrew Santino?

  You don't even know who makes them.

• 40:06Bobby Lee?

  I'll find it.

• 40:07Andrew Santino?

  You won't, I promise you.

• 40:08Speaker 01

  Shoes you're wearing right now?

• 40:09Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, I was wearing them last night.

• 40:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  Were they cool shoes?

• 40:12Andrew Santino?

  No, they're like, they're not. He's mocking me.

• 40:14Bobby Lee?

  I'm not mocking you, dude. I really like them.

• 40:16Andrew Santino?

  They're shitty dumb shoes.

• 40:17Bobby Lee?

  They're not shitty dumb shoes. I really like them and I'm gonna get a pair.

• 40:19Andrew Santino?

  But he did stare at them and then he goes, not gonna buy those. Which means he's trying to get my goat. But I know he can't find what they are. Cause they're not labeled or anything.

• 40:28Bobby Lee?

  Will you tell me?

• 40:29Andrew Santino?

  No, what the fuck? No, he already blew up the cologne spot.

• 40:32Bobby Lee?

  Please tell me, dude.

• 40:33Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 40:34Speaker 02

  You can just take a picture of it.

• 40:35Bobby Lee?

  And then chat GPT in.

• 40:37Andrew Santino?

  What the fuck are you doing?

• 40:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting.

• 40:39Andrew Santino?

  You little fucker.

• 40:40Bobby Lee?

  It's interesting.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, what's like an expensive purchase? Like a cool shirt or jacket or something? What are we doing?

• 40:45Bobby Lee?

  So what what I'll do is, um. Meal. Here's the thing, I I I order so much food. Ask her.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, three meals delivered. Right?

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Why?

• 40:59Bobby Lee?

  Because it's just not like leaving the house. So we'll get gigantic, like barbecue or or whatever, you know?

• 41:05Andrew Santino?

  And then you know how like the Pope has that glass mobile that he's rides around in? He has one of those and he'll go down Skid Row where all the homeless are and he'll just eat all this food in front of them. And wave.

• 41:15Bobby Lee?

  Well, you have to lock eyes and you have to wave the ribs.

• 41:17Andrew Santino?

  That's what he does.

• 41:19Bobby Lee?

  If you wave the ribs, you lock eyes, it's a really good dig.

• 41:22Andrew Santino?

  When we go out to eat together, he'll order like the whole, like if it's appetizers, like we went to Vietnamese joint, we ordered all the appetizers. He'll order everything.

• 41:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  Do you eat a lot?

• 41:30Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 41:30Speaker 01

  You eat a lot?

• 41:31Andrew Santino?

  No, he won't even finish half of it.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  So it's a show?

• 41:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 41:34Bobby Lee?

  It's.

• 41:36Bobby Lee?

  It's, you know.

• 41:37Andrew Santino?

  That's what your special should have been called, Bobby Lee, the show.

• 41:40Bobby Lee?

  Let me tell you, let me give you some education, if I may.

• 41:44Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 41:46Bobby Lee?

  Let me educate everyone in this room, per se.

• 41:49Andrew Santino?

  Professor Lee.

• 41:49Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Hello.

• 41:51Andrew Santino?

  Per se.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Please.

• 41:53Bobby Lee?

  Pancheon.

• 41:54Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yes, pancheon.

• 41:56Bobby Lee?

  What's pancheon?

• 41:57Andrew Santino?

  No idea.

• 41:58Bobby Lee?

  All right. Pancheon is Korean food. Dishes.

• 42:03Andrew Santino?

  Mm hmm.

• 42:04Bobby Lee?

  If you go to a Korean barbecue, all those little side plates.

• 42:06Andrew Santino?

  I love those little side plates.

• 42:07Bobby Lee?

  Sometimes it comes up with like 20.

• 42:09Andrew Santino?

  My favorite.

• 42:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dakbokki, you know.

• 42:11Andrew Santino?

  Oh, dakbokki.

• 42:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and, um.

• 42:14Andrew Santino?

  What about pukpakbang?

• 42:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, pukpakbang's good. Um, and so what I like to do in American restaurants is order a bunch of different things to try everything.

• 42:23Andrew Santino?

  Right, cause you're new to America.

• 42:24Bobby Lee?

  No, that's what it is. I've been here for. Fifty five years.

• 42:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, brother.

• 42:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  How old are you?

• 42:30Bobby Lee?

  Fifty five. Wow.

• 42:33Andrew Santino?

  No, it's, I mean.

• 42:34Bobby Lee?

  Come get me.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  You look good.

• 42:36Bobby Lee?

  Come at me.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  You, I said you look good.

• 42:38Bobby Lee?

  I'm old, come on at me.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  No, I didn't know you were 55.

• 42:40Andrew Santino?

  That was like on the catering for this movie. I was just joking around because a lot of times it would just be like a stuff in a bin, you know? And you're like, what is this? Like you couldn't tell. Some of it was good. They did a great job. But like some of it, I was like, what is this? And Seegura was next to me and he's like, what is that? And the guy's like, huh? He's like, what is that? And the guy's like.

• 43:02Andrew Santino?

  And he wasn't speaking any English and I was like. Is this? Is this poop slop pop plop? And he goes, huh? I go, is this poop slop plop? And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:13Andrew Santino?

  It was awesome, yeah. It was.

• 43:15Bobby Lee?

  Tom laugh?

• 43:15Andrew Santino?

  It ended up, oh, we were cracking up.

• 43:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:17Andrew Santino?

  It ended up being polenta, but it did not look like polenta. And it was. Tough to eat.

• 43:23Bobby Lee?

  I bet.

• 43:23Andrew Santino?

  Lost a little bit of weight.

• 43:25Speaker 01

  You're looking fit, man.

• 43:26Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I had to. I did. Cause we weren't eating, we were shooting every, all day long. And then anything I ate, it was like. Crafty popcorn.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:33Andrew Santino?

  Little popcorn, little popcorn snacks.

• 43:35Bobby Lee?

  During your movie, did you have a good craft service?

• 43:37Andrew Santino?

  Did he ever?

• 43:37Speaker 01

  No, it's it's a independent movie.

• 43:39Andrew Santino?

  It's an indie movie.

• 43:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I want craft service.

• 43:41Andrew Santino?

  See, this is, he's a big crafty guy.

• 43:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  You're in big movies though, I feel like, right?

• 43:45Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right.

• 43:45Bobby Lee?

  Not really.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  Weren't you in Sex and the City?

• 43:47Andrew Santino?

  That's exactly right.

• 43:48Bobby Lee?

  That's a movie?

• 43:50Andrew Santino?

  Should have been.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  They made a movie, didn't they?

• 43:51Bobby Lee?

  They did, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did some things, but I'm just saying, I was just asking about the craft service, man. There's no offense. We're good, man.

• 44:01Bobby Lee?

  You know what? You're right, Sam. Sam, you're right. There is something different with me today.

• 44:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I felt it.

• 44:05Bobby Lee?

  You're right, the energy is different.

• 44:07Andrew Santino?

  Shift it up. Sing a song and shift it up.

• 44:09Bobby Lee?

  I gotta pee. Let me pee real quick, if you, if I may.

• 44:11Andrew Santino?

  You please.

• 44:12Bobby Lee?

  Can I pee real quick?

• 44:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  God damn it.

• 44:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, go. In the middle of a pod we just started. Go, go pee.

• 44:17Bobby Lee?

  Forty five minutes.

• 44:18Andrew Santino?

  Go potty, go potty.

• 44:19Speaker 01

  That fucking bladder, that will's looking good to whoever's in there.

• 44:23Andrew Santino?

  Cash app, cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching. I need the money that you owe me.

• 44:27Bobby Lee?

  I know, and this is the safest way to do it.

• 44:29Andrew Santino?

  It is.

• 44:29Bobby Lee?

  Cash app, you know what I mean? Because you want your money to go where it's supposed to go.

• 44:33Andrew Santino?

  That's right, because by the way, from another app that we know of, I lost a bunch of money on because my account was not secured. I since deleted them. Because, uh, some guy in Florida decided to rent a charter fishing boat.

• 44:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my lord.

• 44:45Andrew Santino?

  Through mine. And thankfully, Cash App makes sure all that stuff is covered. And they also have Cash App Green and free, free overdraft coverage. So they do more than you think when it comes to having your back and making sure your money stays your money. They released a new status program for the way people actually spend called Cash App Green.

• 45:01Bobby Lee?

  Now, when you spend at least $500 a month with a Cash App card, you earn green status, which unlocks benefits like up to $200 of free overdraft coverage. And if you overdraft unexpectedly, there are no hidden fees. You also unlock higher borrowed limits and custom personalized cash back offers every Friday at places you love to shop.

• 45:21Andrew Santino?

  You can turn everyday spending into status with Cash App Green. It's incredible. You've heard of Cash App, you know it. Most of you probably use it right now. And if you don't, I don't know what you're doing. It's the best way.

• 45:30Bobby Lee?

  It is.

• 45:30Andrew Santino?

  To send money back and forth to whoever that you're sending it to. New Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use code CashApp10 in their profile at signup. And send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply.

• 45:41Bobby Lee?

  Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Visit our link in the bio. Quince. Quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton and merino wool. The cells are timeless, versatile and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for day after day after day after day. These are, look how soft this is.

• 46:04Andrew Santino?

  These are great. These are actually my pants. Uh, I don't know why Mccone has my pants in the studio, but he does. Um, they're really great, man. When the temperature starts to drop, right now, Quince makes it easy to build on those everyday staples. We have premium down jackets, classic wool outerwear. Versatile layers designed to keep you warm and comfortable all season long. These pants are great. They are my pants and Mccone should not have put them in the studio, but I'm glad that they're here. And it's not just clothing, by the way. Quince brings that same approach to everything they make from hotel quality bedding to bath, kitchen essentials and thoughtfully designed furniture. They make well-designed pieces for everyday living.

• 46:35Bobby Lee?

  Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories, cut out the middleman. So you're paying for high quality, not brand markup.

• 46:46Andrew Santino?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com to get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

• 46:56Bobby Lee?

  Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Bad Friends.

• 47:04Andrew Santino?

  It's the best way to support the show.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  At Zocdoc, we know you care about your health. You wouldn't do that early morning cardio if you didn't. So the fact that your annual physical is overdue just shows how hard it can be to get seen by a doctor. Sorry, that doctor's not in network.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Press one for more options. You've reached us outside normal business hours.

• 47:23Speaker 02

  The next availability is in three months. But Zocdoc makes finding the right doctor easy. Download the app and search by specialty, insurance and availability. Read real patient reviews, then book instantly.

• 47:34Andrew Santino?

  Zocdoc, ready to be seen. Ingram sent me the video of you crashing into his car last night. I have it now. I have the video of it. Do you guys want to see it?

• 47:41Speaker 01

  You crashed?

• 47:42Bobby Lee?

  You did?

• 47:45Andrew Santino?

  He was, by the way, it was a hit and run.

• 47:46Bobby Lee?

  It was a hit and run.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  What?

• 47:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I've done it many times before.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  That doesn't, that doesn't make it better.

• 47:53Bobby Lee?

  It's just behavior.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Are you a bad driver?

• 47:56Speaker 02

  He's the worst.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  Really?

• 47:58Andrew Santino?

  Take it away, comment section.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm not gonna say it, but damn.

• 48:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 48:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. What, are you careless or what is it? You texting? What are you doing?

• 48:07Bobby Lee?

  No, I just, um...

• 48:08Speaker 01

  Poor vision.

• 48:09Bobby Lee?

  No, I, it's not pure, what? No, it's fucking video games, guy. I know how to do it.

• 48:16Speaker 01

  In video games?

• 48:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, I don't know. What I'm saying is that, you know, I have skill sets when it comes to like driving and vehicle, you know, manipulation.

• 48:26Andrew Santino?

  And what are the skill sets? Crashing into other people? Is that part of the game?

• 48:29Bobby Lee?

  And you caught it.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Curbs? Camera or what? Oh, yeah.

• 48:32Bobby Lee?

  Security camera.

• 48:32Andrew Santino?

  I have, I, yeah.

• 48:33Bobby Lee?

  So what happened was I crashed into his car and then I drove away. Okay?

• 48:39Andrew Santino?

  And as, as you do.

• 48:40Bobby Lee?

  As you do.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  When they witness.

• 48:42Bobby Lee?

  It's traumatic for me too as well, Sam. Look at it from my point of view.

• 48:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Sam, look at it from his point of view.

• 48:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I slammed his car. What do I do? He's doing a set. Do I wait? No, you leave.

• 48:55Speaker 01

  You know whose car it was?

• 48:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, my friend.

• 48:57Andrew Santino?

  Rick Ingram, a good buddy of ours.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  But you know what his car looks like?

• 49:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  So you knew it was his?

• 49:02Bobby Lee?

  Yes. And I felt really bad.

• 49:04Andrew Santino?

  No, he didn't feel bad, even a little bit. I just...

• 49:06Speaker 01

  How did you, how did you handle this? Did he text you and say, hey, what the fuck? Or what?

• 49:10Bobby Lee?

  I got many texts from many people. We were on to you. We have the video footage.

• 49:15Andrew Santino?

  He thought he was getting away with it. Like, he did it with, under the guise of, of escaping. No, you know, here it is.

• 49:21Bobby Lee?

  Did he really have the video?

• 49:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's right there.

• 49:22Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 49:23Andrew Santino?

  Big time.

• 49:23Bobby Lee?

  I can't believe it. I've never seen this.

• 49:26Andrew Santino?

  This is security footage of him. He pulls in, right? He's pulling in and does it. He's pulling in or backing in.

• 49:32Andrew Santino?

  But this is a lot of the comedy story. There, he's backing.

• 49:34Bobby Lee?

  There's my blue car. Yeah, yeah.

• 49:35Andrew Santino?

  Yep, and he just hits the gas. Doesn't need to be hitting the gas right now. Could stop. And bump. And then he pulls away like it never fucking happened.

• 49:45Bobby Lee?

  No, I park.

• 49:45Andrew Santino?

  Look, he parks. He does it again.

• 49:51Bobby Lee?

  I do it again.

• 49:52Andrew Santino?

  He does. He scrapes it more now.

• 49:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, scrape it more. Yeah. It's like now rubbing against...

• 49:56Andrew Santino?

  He's scraping the whole side of the car.

• 49:58Bobby Lee?

  It's rubbing against the car. All right? And now, in that car, look, push pause for a second.

• 50:05Andrew Santino?

  Look at the lot at the comedy store. This is harder than expert on Tetris. This is fucking insane.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  Who's this?

• 50:10Bobby Lee?

  In this particular car right here, you can't see, it's, um, Steph Tolo.

• 50:15Andrew Santino?

  Steph Tolo's sitting in her car, watching the whole thing.

• 50:17Bobby Lee?

  And she's witnessing it.

• 50:19Speaker 01

  And the next car was Caitlyn Jenner saying, holy shit, that's a bad driver.

• 50:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I got...

• 50:27Speaker 01

  Bobby hit a fucking dog on the way home and was like, look, that's traumatic for me too.

• 50:32Speaker 01

  Tough.

• 50:33Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that's crazy. And then, um, I just leave, right?

• 50:35Speaker 01

  How much money are we talking?

• 50:37Bobby Lee?

  So I call him. I go, how much? And he goes, no, forget about it.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  Really?

• 50:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What's he gonna, what's he gonna do?

• 50:44Andrew Santino?

  What's he gonna do is you should have paid him for the repairs on his car.

• 50:46Bobby Lee?

  I offered. I go, whatever it takes.

• 50:47Andrew Santino?

  I know, but you should have just given him cash. Cause he's not gonna wanna, he's not gonna feel comfortable asking. You should have just gone, here's...

• 50:51Bobby Lee?

  You know what? I'm gonna give him cash.

• 50:52Andrew Santino?

  How much? Sam, let's, let's Sam dictate how much.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  I don't know shit about cars.

• 50:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but just give it a whirl. Huh?

• 50:58Speaker 01

  Is it a thousand?

• 50:58Andrew Santino?

  Ten thousand, he said, huh?

• 51:00Bobby Lee?

  I, I think five hundred.

• 51:02Andrew Santino?

  A thousand seems nice.

• 51:03Bobby Lee?

  You know what kind of car he has?

• 51:05Andrew Santino?

  That's not the point.

• 51:05Bobby Lee?

  It is the point.

• 51:06Andrew Santino?

  Because it's time, it's time.

• 51:07Bobby Lee?

  If it was Tim Dillon's car, I'd stop, I'd write a letter.

• 51:09Andrew Santino?

  It's, it's time.

• 51:11Bobby Lee?

  Put it on the windshield. That's what me.

• 51:12Andrew Santino?

  It costs him money, time to go get a fix.

• 51:14Bobby Lee?

  I do it based on the car.

• 51:15Andrew Santino?

  He has a child.

• 51:16Bobby Lee?

  That, two.

• 51:18Andrew Santino?

  Two thousand.

• 51:18Bobby Lee?

  Two trillion.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  All in the will.

• 51:20Andrew Santino?

  That's what I'm saying. Oh, put him in the will.

• 51:22Bobby Lee?

  I'll, you know what? I'm gonna put him in the will.

• 51:24Andrew Santino?

  Put him in the will, that's the best way to rectify.

• 51:26Speaker 01

  Is he a good friend or no?

• 51:27Bobby Lee?

  He's a dear friend, yeah. But you know what?

• 51:31Speaker 01

  Why?

• 51:32Bobby Lee?

  You know, it's like, you know, I've borrowed things from people and banged it up a bit, you know? You know, that's...

• 51:39Speaker 01

  Like what?

• 51:39Bobby Lee?

  Like a screwdriver or whatever. I don't know. I've never borrowed.

• 51:42Andrew Santino?

  You're really borrowing?

• 51:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, what did you borrow?

• 51:45Andrew Santino?

  Old Fix-It Lee?

• 51:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. No, what I'm saying is, is that, um, I'll, I'll give you an example.

• 51:50Andrew Santino?

  Screwdriver. It's like that scene in Seinfeld when he's like, Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried and dipped in chocolate sauce.

• 51:58Bobby Lee?

  I got it right here.

• 51:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 51:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay? Um, so Marcelo was here in town.

• 52:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 52:03Bobby Lee?

  And he asked to borrow my Xbox. All right? And I go, what, if I lend you my Xbox, you're gonna deliver it to my house? He goes, I promise. He does not do that. He leaves it at the store. It's banged up. You know what I mean?

• 52:17Andrew Santino?

  Why wouldn't he, why would he?

• 52:18Bobby Lee?

  There's scratches on it.

• 52:18Andrew Santino?

  Buy an Xbox?

• 52:19Bobby Lee?

  And so my point is, is that I let it go because it's like, you know, that's what happened.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  If you hit Marcelo's car, would you have left a note?

• 52:27Bobby Lee?

  What is he driving?

• 52:29Speaker 01

  I don't, what is he, what's Marcelo driving?

• 52:30Andrew Santino?

  Ah, who has?

• 52:31Speaker 01

  Say, say it's a nice car.

• 52:32Andrew Santino?

  Something Latin.

• 52:33Bobby Lee?

  Something Latin? Yeah, uh, um...

• 52:35Andrew Santino?

  It's, I think it's...

• 52:35Bobby Lee?

  A Ford Fiesta.

• 52:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 52:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:38Andrew Santino?

  There it was.

• 52:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He has a Ford Fiesta. No, I would not stop for a Ford Fiesta.

• 52:44Andrew Santino?

  Tell a Nissan Maraca. It's quick. It's fast.

• 52:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Really?

• 52:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's quick.

• 52:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You've never had a Ford Mariachi?

• 52:52Andrew Santino?

  Oh, is that good?

• 52:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's a really good car. It's a truck.

• 52:54Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's a big pickup truck.

• 52:55Bobby Lee?

  It's a big truck, yeah. You could put like fifteen guys in there.

• 52:57Andrew Santino?

  He doesn't have a car. He lives in New York.

• 52:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, no, no car.

• 53:00Andrew Santino?

  Although, you know, your boy has a, your, isn't, in...

• 53:02Speaker 01

  Norman's got it.

• 53:03Andrew Santino?

  Norman loves cars.

• 53:03Speaker 01

  He's got like an old ass Beamer.

• 53:05Andrew Santino?

  Old Beamer.

• 53:05Speaker 01

  In the seventies.

• 53:06Andrew Santino?

  You've never had a car, right?

• 53:07Speaker 01

  I don't drive.

• 53:08Andrew Santino?

  Have you ever owned a car?

• 53:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 53:10Andrew Santino?

  Wow, that's wild.

• 53:10Bobby Lee?

  Do you have a license?

• 53:11Speaker 01

  I, a pity license. I, I passed, I failed two driving tests in New York and the third time I, I just like pleaded with the woman. She's like, all right.

• 53:20Andrew Santino?

  It's kind of wild to think forty years and never tre- owned a car.

• 53:23Speaker 01

  I can drive, but it's bad. Joe List would give me shit all the time. We did a casino run like way back in the day. And it was a, like thirty hours driving total. And I told him I'd split the driving with him. And then I drove and he was like, I'm driving the whole fucking time.

• 53:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 53:38Speaker 01

  So I drove probably thirty minutes and he drove twenty-nine and a half hours.

• 53:41Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 53:41Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow, wow.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  And he was, he famously would always say, uh, he's like, yeah, Sam would say, I can drive, but I suck at turns. So, yeah, no driving. It's an important part of driving, is the turns.

• 53:52Bobby Lee?

  The turns.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:53Bobby Lee?

  Do you know what right and left is?

• 53:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can, I know what it is. It was just, I, you know.

• 53:59Bobby Lee?

  You know how to do the right and then the left.

• 54:01Andrew Santino?

  What about putting you in a car in England would have been...

• 54:04Speaker 01

  It'd be a fucking nightmare.

• 54:05Bobby Lee?

  That, no.

• 54:05Speaker 01

  So I'll tell you what I've never done is, is hit a friend of mine's car. So that's pretty fucking cool. Pretty cool. I've never done that.

• 54:11Andrew Santino?

  I drove in Dublin and it was kind of scary.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:14Andrew Santino?

  It's weird on the wrong side. It's strange.

• 54:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 54:16Andrew Santino?

  I did it in Australia too. That, I'd like, they're like, and by the way, they're so flippant about it. I was like, uh, oh, can I get a rental car? And they're like, yeah, sure, mate. I was like, oh, great. And I go downstairs and they're like, keys are there? And I was like, oh, oh, oh, fuck. I thought they would make Americans do like a driving thing. They don't give a fuck. They just give you the car. They're like, go for it. Figure it out.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  I'm not a good dri- I, I did drive once to pick up a girlfriend and I, I did crash the car.

• 54:41Andrew Santino?

  You did?

• 54:42Speaker 01

  But it was a, it was, I looked and there was no damage on the car I hit and there was no damage on my car, so.

• 54:47Andrew Santino?

  So you saw?

• 54:48Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I was good.

• 54:49Bobby Lee?

  So you did the same thing?

• 54:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  It was Rick, uh, Ingram's.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  No, I, I, I, it was fine. But yeah, I was like, I'm not good at this.

• 54:56Bobby Lee?

  Well, the thing is, I, cause I, five years before that, I slammed into Sam Tripoli's car on purpose.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 55:03Andrew Santino?

  That was deliberate.

• 55:03Bobby Lee?

  That was deliberate. So that was not an...

• 55:05Speaker 01

  Why?

• 55:06Bobby Lee?

  Made me mad.

• 55:08Andrew Santino?

  Bobby uses...

• 55:09Bobby Lee?

  I did like five thousand dollars worth of damage on this car.

• 55:11Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 55:11Bobby Lee?

  I didn't give him five grand, yeah.

• 55:13Andrew Santino?

  He, that's the whole car.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  How did he make?

• 55:15Bobby Lee?

  No, it was a, he had a beautiful Escalade.

• 55:17Andrew Santino?

  Jesus.

• 55:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  How'd he make you mad?

• 55:20Bobby Lee?

  I forgot. But I remember slamming into the thing and then it was a big controversy.

• 55:25Andrew Santino?

  Bobby crashes into Sam Tripoli's car at the comedy store. It's on YouTube.

• 55:28Speaker 01

  It's on AI.

• 55:30Bobby Lee?

  What they say, it was accidental on...

• 55:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're wrong. It was a purpose. Yeah. That's what he does. He hits things on purpose. Oh, that's, that is a video of it.

• 55:42Bobby Lee?

  There's a video of it? Yo, fucking sorry, I'm crushing. I'll pay for it.

• 56:07Bobby Lee?

  Ooh, the Sklar brothers. There's all kinds of people.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 56:10Andrew Santino?

  A lot of cameos in this accident.

• 56:11Bobby Lee?

  Cameos in this video, dude.

• 56:17Bobby Lee?

  That's your car? Oh, yeah. It was a Prius.

• 56:25Bobby Lee?

  All right, that's, that's okay. We got it.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  You're a fucking psycho, dude.

• 56:28Andrew Santino?

  And you're fixing it. I'm damaging your car.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  Look at that. It's Esther's laugh.

• 56:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Esther's made an appearance?

• 56:49Bobby Lee?

  Tony's in it.

• 56:54Andrew Santino?

  I'm a little concerned you think his car is an Escalade.

• 57:01Bobby Lee?

  Is that why Sam thinks he can drop the N-word on his face?

• 57:06Andrew Santino?

  Jesus, Bob.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  I know.

• 57:07Andrew Santino?

  Alright, get off of this.

• 57:08Speaker 01

  Get off of this, yeah, yeah.

• 57:10Andrew Santino?

  This is wild.

• 57:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:12Speaker 01

  You're a fucking, you're a loose cannon.

• 57:14Bobby Lee?

  I'm not a loose cannon guy. I'm a principled man. Okay, everything's about principle. It's about, it really is. Ask me about principle.

• 57:22Andrew Santino?

  Teach us some principalities.

• 57:24Bobby Lee?

  Well, I don't even know what we're saying. What do you mean? The principle is this, to be honest. Right? And to be forthright. Forthright. And to, um, it's all about communication, to be honest with you.

• 57:35Andrew Santino?

  Imagine if he wrote the constitution.

• 57:39Bobby Lee?

  It'd be difficult.

• 57:39Andrew Santino?

  To be forthright.

• 57:40Bobby Lee?

  To be forthright. But for me, it's like, um, you know, I make mistakes and I own up to them.

• 57:47Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 57:47Bobby Lee?

  And that was me.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  You own up to them when they're on camera.

• 57:49Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, only when they're recorded.

• 57:51Bobby Lee?

  Well, that's the only thing that exists. If it's, if it's not recorded, it doesn't exist.

• 57:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, a tree falls in the woods.

• 57:58Bobby Lee?

  You think, Sam, this is the one, this girlfriend that you have?

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Maybe. I could see that.

• 58:02Bobby Lee?

  You, you can?

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You have feelings for her?

• 58:05Speaker 01

  I do.

• 58:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it's, we had a bad moment where I tucked the kid in the bed and the kid said, "I love you" to me. And I said, "I love you" back. And it was, it should have been a nice moment, but it was in front of her and I'd not said that to her yet. And I was like, "This is gonna be a problem."

• 58:20Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  "I'm gonna hear about this."

• 58:22Bobby Lee?

  And then, did she bring it up?

• 58:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 58:26Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 58:26Andrew Santino?

  That's the point of the story.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  It was tough. Yeah, I handled it not well, but, uh...

• 58:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but let's look at it like this.

• 58:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:32Andrew Santino?

  A young child.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:34Andrew Santino?

  Who is, you know, had his parents separated. He needs that.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  I, oh, of course, I said it back. What, do you think I'm gonna leave him hanging?

• 58:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  Like, "Look, I like you, but, uh, we're not there yet, dude."

• 58:46Andrew Santino?

  So she said, "You've never even said it to me."

• 58:48Speaker 01

  So, yeah, I had to find a time to say it. You can't just say it then. You can't just be like, "You, you too."

• 58:53Andrew Santino?

  It's disingenuous.

• 58:54Speaker 01

  It's disingenuous. I had to...

• 58:55Bobby Lee?

  Well, could you have done this? "I love both of you."

• 58:58Speaker 01

  I should have.

• 58:59Bobby Lee?

  Is that a good answer or no?

• 59:00Speaker 01

  But it would have been weird.

• 59:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, if he said, "I love you, Sam," and he goes, "I love you and your mom."

• 59:05Bobby Lee?

  That's, wow, that's the answer. "I love you."

• 59:07Andrew Santino?

  Way to fuck it up, Sam.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  You fucked that up.

• 59:09Andrew Santino?

  Fucking idiot.

• 59:10Speaker 01

  I fucked it up. I, I did an even worse thing. I tried to make it funny afterwards where I said, "Well, look, the L-word is like the N-word. I've only said it a couple times."

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Both times it ended really badly for me and she did not like that. And of course, her friends were like, "He sucks, leave him," you know?

• 59:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  But I fixed it.

• 59:27Andrew Santino?

  She knows she's marrying a comedian?

• 59:28Speaker 01

  She's cool, she gets it in fights, too, which is huge. Like, you know when you're in a fight with your girlfriend and, and you have to make a joke so it just, to cut the tension? We got, she was yelling at me and I said, "You can't be a single mommy and yell. It's a little trashy." And she lost it laughing. I was like, "Alright, good."

• 59:46Bobby Lee?

  Oh, good!

• 59:47Speaker 01

  She gets it.

• 59:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:49Bobby Lee?

  You know what I did with my girlfriend?

• 59:50Speaker 01

  You hit her, right? That's what I heard.

• 59:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right in the eyes. Both eyes. Looks like a panda now.

• 59:55Speaker 01

  And you don't even leave a note. No, alright.

• 59:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I, so, I had been dating, um, my girlfriend for a year.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 1:00:02Bobby Lee?

  And she loves Harry Potter. So I downloaded the Harry Potter game, Hogwarts, on my Xbox.

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:08Bobby Lee?

  And so, she said, "Can I create my own character?" I go, "Yeah, you can create your own character."

• 1:00:13Andrew Santino?

  How old is this woman?

• 1:00:16Bobby Lee?

  She just talks like that.

• 1:00:17Andrew Santino?

  That is exactly how she sounds.

• 1:00:20Bobby Lee?

  And so, you know, we do, you know, we make it the way she wants it, the character to look like. And then there's a, and I'm doing it because she's not really good at controls, right? And I...

• 1:00:29Andrew Santino?

  Sounds like a mansplaining over here, huh? "You're not good at it. I'll do it."

• 1:00:34Bobby Lee?

  Well, she's never played games before, so it's, it's a different...

• 1:00:37Andrew Santino?

  New hands?

• 1:00:38Bobby Lee?

  New hands. Anyway, so there's a portion where it says, um, "Put in your first name." And she goes, "I want it to be me." So I put her name, but then the second part was her last name. And I go, "You do this part."

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:53Andrew Santino?

  Didn't know her last name.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  That's fucking crazy.

• 1:00:55Andrew Santino?

  A year!

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  How do you not?

• 1:00:57Bobby Lee?

  I did know. It just slipped my mind. And that was, man, the defending I had to do on that one.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, what did she, this is another Seinfeld. Dolores.

• 1:01:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Dolores, that's right.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:08Andrew Santino?

  How do you not know?

• 1:01:10Bobby Lee?

  Well, first, your first reaction is to play dumb.

• 1:01:13Andrew Santino?

  That's your first reaction.

• 1:01:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:16Andrew Santino?

  Not the royal "your." Yours, personally. Most people will go, "I'm sorry, this is embarrassing."

• 1:01:22Bobby Lee?

  No, not me.

• 1:01:23Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:23Bobby Lee?

  I had to make it, I had to gaslight.

• 1:01:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, gaslight, gaslight, gaslight.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  Did you ask her, like, you didn't even do like, "How do I spell your last name?"

• 1:01:28Bobby Lee?

  No, so I go, I go, "Yeah, you do it because, yeah, that's what I did. I go, 'I don't know how to spell your..."

• 1:01:34Bobby Lee?

  Then I tried to do the thing where it's like, "It's a joke." And she said, "That's not a joke." "How is that a joke?" "It's a joke. I pretend I don't know."

• 1:01:44Andrew Santino?

  Right, it's funny.

• 1:01:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, that didn't work.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  How long was she mad at you for this?

• 1:01:47Bobby Lee?

  For weeks. And I had to apologize every day. And now I know her birthday, middle name, everything.

• 1:01:54Andrew Santino?

  You know all of it.

• 1:01:55Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:01:56Andrew Santino?

  Favorite color?

• 1:01:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:57Speaker 01

  You studied up.

• 1:01:58Bobby Lee?

  I studied.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  What, what's the most, like, what's a little-known fact about her? Hit her with something good.

• 1:02:03Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  I don't know, like, we got the last name. Now it would give me, like, some more interest.

• 1:02:07Bobby Lee?

  Well, she's a witch.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  She's a witch?

• 1:02:10Andrew Santino?

  That's real.

• 1:02:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. She thinks she's a witch.

• 1:02:12Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, she is a witch.

• 1:02:14Bobby Lee?

  What, what are you talking about, Morril?

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  I don't know what this...

• 1:02:17Bobby Lee?

  What the fuck are you talking about? If you meet a warlock, he's a warlock. Okay? A guy that does alchemy, a guy that does alchemy, get the pot and get the mushrooms in there, bud.

• 1:02:28Andrew Santino?

  That's right, baby.

• 1:02:29Bobby Lee?

  And the toad feet, right? Do you do what you are meant to do?

• 1:02:33Andrew Santino?

  She doesn't identify as a witch. She is a witch.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 1:02:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so she's a full-blown witch. She just spells.

• 1:02:38Andrew Santino?

  Which women are women?

• 1:02:40Bobby Lee?

  Exactly, dude.

• 1:02:41Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  At what, at what point did she tell you she was a witch?

• 1:02:43Bobby Lee?

  I knew it before I even met her.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  She teaches us spells.

• 1:02:48Bobby Lee?

  She teaches me spells.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  Like, what kind of spells?

• 1:02:51Bobby Lee?

  She has a very special freeze spell.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  Freeze?

• 1:02:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so, um...

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  Could you use it behind the wheel next time?

• 1:03:01Bobby Lee?

  That's a good one, dude.

• 1:03:02Andrew Santino?

  You'll be a good driver.

• 1:03:06Andrew Santino?

  You'll take responsibility for accidents.

• 1:03:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  What kind of, what other spells are we talking?

• 1:03:11Bobby Lee?

  So, um, if you have a pork chop in my freezer, and if you lift it, there's a big piece of paper on it and it has his name on it, in my freezer.

• 1:03:21Andrew Santino?

  She wants me to cool off. She said, "Put him in the freezer. He needs to chill out." That's literally what they did.

• 1:03:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  That is weird.

• 1:03:28Andrew Santino?

  And, yeah. Imagine what they do when they fuck.

• 1:03:31Bobby Lee?

  He did chill out.

• 1:03:32Andrew Santino?

  No, I didn't.

• 1:03:33Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:03:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, no, it didn't work.

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  What are you, what are you doing?

• 1:03:35Andrew Santino?

  You'd have to put me in sub-zero temperatures.

• 1:03:37Bobby Lee?

  I also have Ken Jeong's name for some reason in there and Ronnie Cheng, all the Asian actors.

• 1:03:41Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:03:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I wanted to freeze it.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  Could you do it with Epstein's list or something?

• 1:03:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'll try. I'll do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:47Andrew Santino?

  She, but she taught you a spell. What did she teach you?

• 1:03:49Speaker 02

  The same thing. I had to do it with the England team during the FIFA.

• 1:03:54Andrew Santino?

  You had to put the entire England team in the freezer?

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  Mexico and I put England team in the freezer and then...

• 1:04:00Bobby Lee?

  England won.

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so it doesn't work.

• 1:04:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it didn't work.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  He didn't say she was a good witch.

• 1:04:07Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:04:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's levels in this game, like X-Men.

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:04:13Bobby Lee?

  Do you know X-Men?

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:04:14Bobby Lee?

  Right, so there's levels of mutation. I don't know if you know this, right?

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:04:18Bobby Lee?

  So the ones that you're watching, like, you know, Cyclops, you know?

• 1:04:21Andrew Santino?

  You know, the standards.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Mystique, all those standards are the fifth, like, level of the mutation. So, but there's mutations that happen, um...

• 1:04:30Andrew Santino?

  She's an open-mic witch.

• 1:04:32Bobby Lee?

  That's what I'm saying. Her mutation hasn't evolved yet.

• 1:04:35Andrew Santino?

  She's doing a bringer show witch.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Damn, that's, that's, see, that's the show.

• 1:04:38Andrew Santino?

  It's tough, yeah.

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  It's a shitty X-Men?

• 1:04:41Bobby Lee?

  That shitty X-Men would be great.

• 1:04:42Andrew Santino?

  They have to, they have to paper her witch events. They have to give two-for-ones to come to the event. That's what we go through.

• 1:04:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I, I've thought of powers that I, I might, because I think that I would, I'm so unlucky in life, that, that I would have a shitty power.

• 1:04:55Andrew Santino?

  You're the luckiest guy I've ever met.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  What power?

• 1:04:58Andrew Santino?

  You're the luckiest, you think you're unlucky?

• 1:05:00Bobby Lee?

  I get really angry and for some reason just my rectum turns metal.

• 1:05:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 1:05:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like, I'd have a shitty power or I...

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  That's what you gotta use in prison.

• 1:05:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that would be...

• 1:05:09Andrew Santino?

  Metal ass.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:10Andrew Santino?

  Good luck.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  That's what you do.

• 1:05:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  Do your best and you pull it down. That's when it fucking comes in handy. You break some, you break some big dicks.

• 1:05:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I would come in with the, remember we went into the prison energy before, like, "What's up? I'm crazy."

• 1:05:22Andrew Santino?

  Crazy boy.

• 1:05:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And then, and I can go ding ding ding ding ding ding like that. So anyway, um, another power is controlling cockroaches.

• 1:05:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you must.

• 1:05:33Bobby Lee?

  So, Magneto attacks me and I go, "Stop." Right? And he goes, "What are you doing?" I go, "They're coming." And I wait there for four hours and they slowly start...

• 1:05:44Andrew Santino?

  They're on the way.

• 1:05:45Bobby Lee?

  He'd probably leave by then.

• 1:05:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, why would he wait?

• 1:05:47Bobby Lee?

  That's right.

• 1:05:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I don't think he's gonna wait.

• 1:05:48Bobby Lee?

  But like, you know, what would you be a power? What kind of power? A shitty power?

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  Maybe like, I'd like, know where to find, like, is the least traffic.

• 1:05:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, really?

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  I'd like a good route, there's a good route right here. Straight roads for you.

• 1:05:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it's about right, yeah.

• 1:06:01Andrew Santino?

  My power would be, "Where did I put that key?"

• 1:06:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:03Andrew Santino?

  That would be mine.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 1:06:05Andrew Santino?

  "Where did I lose that thing?" I'd be able to find any remote I ever put down.

• 1:06:08Bobby Lee?

  Ooh.

• 1:06:09Andrew Santino?

  Or a thing, like, I opened my back door the other day and there was a pair of shoes in the back of my car and I forgot that I had put those in there. How often are you in the backseat of your own car? Like, you never, I forgot it. I put it back there and I found it. I lost it a month or two ago. I don't think, when do you go in the backseat? I wish I had that power. I remember where I put every little thing that I've ever lost.

• 1:06:29Speaker 01

  And then something happens, like, you, like, your nipples turn blue or something.

• 1:06:32Andrew Santino?

  They are...

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, it needs one other thing.

• 1:06:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you need an extra physical thing.

• 1:06:35Andrew Santino?

  I start crying every time I find it.

• 1:06:37Bobby Lee?

  But you cry what?

• 1:06:37Andrew Santino?

  Bawling. Huh?

• 1:06:39Bobby Lee?

  You should cry something.

• 1:06:40Andrew Santino?

  Uh, uh, Gochujang.

• 1:06:42Bobby Lee?

  Yes, Gochujang, Gochujang.

• 1:06:43Andrew Santino?

  So it does feed the people, but it's...

• 1:06:45Bobby Lee?

  How do you know Gochujang?

• 1:06:46Andrew Santino?

  I've been friends with you for years.

• 1:06:47Bobby Lee?

  I know, but that's a really deep take.

• 1:06:49Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 1:06:50Bobby Lee?

  That's real Korean.

• 1:06:51Andrew Santino?

  I love you, dog.

• 1:06:53Bobby Lee?

  You know what, dude? I love you too. And, you know, for you to memorize certain things like that, it really makes it special.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you don't even know your girlfriend's last name.

• 1:07:06Bobby Lee?

  This is why we have wars.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  I know, but you know what? I like our wars.

• 1:07:09Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  Cause I know, I know we're gonna make up and it's, it's coming right around the corner.

• 1:07:13Andrew Santino?

  It's right.

• 1:07:13Bobby Lee?

  It is. I do wanna say something positive about you, if I may, Sam Morril.

• 1:07:18Andrew Santino?

  Oh, then look at him then, when you do it.

• 1:07:19Bobby Lee?

  I don't want to.

• 1:07:20Andrew Santino?

  But that's how positive stuff works.

• 1:07:22Bobby Lee?

  I know, but it's so intimate, I can't look at him.

• 1:07:24Andrew Santino?

  Okay, look at me when you say it.

• 1:07:25Bobby Lee?

  Alright.

• 1:07:27Bobby Lee?

  I've met a lot of comics in New York. Right?

• 1:07:31Andrew Santino?

  Don't look at him.

• 1:07:32Bobby Lee?

  I will not look at him, right? And

• 1:07:36Bobby Lee?

  you've always been like, open, like, you've always tried to help me.

• 1:07:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:41Andrew Santino?

  Helpful, sweet guy.

• 1:07:41Bobby Lee?

  He really is, like, where are you going? You come here, you know what I mean? He tells me where to go, right? Tells me where to go to eat.

• 1:07:48Andrew Santino?

  The other ones don't do that.

• 1:07:48Bobby Lee?

  They don't do it.

• 1:07:49Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:07:49Bobby Lee?

  You don't do it. I did, I asked him.

• 1:07:52Speaker 01

  Well, you were, you were down the dumps once, I remember, at the cellar one night, and, and I think Rachel Feinstein, I were like, come, let's, let's do something.

• 1:07:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that was really good.

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  They were trying to cheer you up.

• 1:07:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  Why, I, I hate seeing you down, man.

• 1:08:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So.

• 1:08:02Andrew Santino?

  I don't mind it.

• 1:08:04Bobby Lee?

  So Sam, I wanna say that

• 1:08:05Andrew Santino?

  Yes?

• 1:08:07Bobby Lee?

  I really, I really like you, and I wanna be friends with you.

• 1:08:10Andrew Santino?

  No, thanks.

• 1:08:12Andrew Santino?

  I'm Sam.

• 1:08:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 1:08:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:14Bobby Lee?

  Well, that's, you know.

• 1:08:15Andrew Santino?

  I've got a whole life, I don't need you.

• 1:08:16Bobby Lee?

  Okay, well, that's not good. But we could be really good acquaintances.

• 1:08:20Andrew Santino?

  Well, talk to Andrew.

• 1:08:21Bobby Lee?

  Hey, Andrew.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  What's up?

• 1:08:22Bobby Lee?

  How are you?

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  I think Sam's great. I think he's ready for something serious, and it's with you, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And seen.

• 1:08:30Andrew Santino?

  I know what you mean, he's saying, and, and you.

• 1:08:32Bobby Lee?

  You're a good guy.

• 1:08:33Andrew Santino?

  The New York comics.

• 1:08:33Bobby Lee?

  You really are a good guy, and, and.

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  Always been a great, I know we got off on the wrong foot one time. I pissed you off, I think, when, I didn't know I pissed you off till like, ten years later.

• 1:08:41Andrew Santino?

  What did you do?

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  I went on before him at the improv, cause I had another spot.

• 1:08:45Bobby Lee?

  He bumped me.

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  I didn't know I bumped him.

• 1:08:47Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but you probably killed. That's what he was really afraid of.

• 1:08:50Bobby Lee?

  What was, I remember that night, what bothered me that he was funny. And I couldn't believe it, and then I kinda cursed his name all night.

• 1:08:57Andrew Santino?

  Did you put him in the freezer?

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  You know what's crazy? You, you knew my last name back then. You were cursing my full name.

• 1:09:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I was.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  Isn't that crazy?

• 1:09:06Bobby Lee?

  It's crazy.

• 1:09:07Andrew Santino?

  Sam Morril! Outside crying in the rain. Yeah, no, he bumped, he didn't get, he didn't bump you, he was put into that slot. The club did.

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  Again, I'm sorry.

• 1:09:16Bobby Lee?

  No, we're done. That's over, that war's over. But anyway, um.

• 1:09:20Speaker 01

  No, but I love it.

• 1:09:21Bobby Lee?

  I, I really.

• 1:09:22Speaker 01

  Cause I know you're the reason Santino is not in New York.

• 1:09:24Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 1:09:25Bobby Lee?

  That's right.

• 1:09:26Speaker 01

  And that's, that always bugs me, cause I know Andrew and I would be so tight.

• 1:09:30Andrew Santino?

  Every time we go to New York, this is the guy.

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, we hang, and it's like, I'm like, oh man, Andrew and I would be so close if Bobby wasn't holding on to you.

• 1:09:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, okay, I, I, I'm not a fan of the city.

• 1:09:41Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:09:41Andrew Santino?

  Every time we go together, I'm always like, how great is this? And he hates it.

• 1:09:45Speaker 01

  What do you hate about it?

• 1:09:47Bobby Lee?

  Like, like I said, I don't know where to go. I don't know where the good spots are, and it'd be, if I lived there for a year, I would have the city in lockdown.

• 1:09:54Andrew Santino?

  That's what I mean, I told him, given a chance, you'll dial it in.

• 1:09:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:57Andrew Santino?

  It'll be so.

• 1:09:58Bobby Lee?

  I would have it on lockdown, but I'm not giving myself that chance, cause I only stayed there like, three, four days, you know, at a time.

• 1:10:04Andrew Santino?

  But I mean, every time we go, you, you, once you start to learn spots you like, then you slowly gather.

• 1:10:09Bobby Lee?

  I think so, yeah, because La Truce would be a place that I would go to, and.

• 1:10:12Andrew Santino?

  What's, what's the farm show, farm game that you play?

• 1:10:16Bobby Lee?

  Stardew Valley.

• 1:10:16Andrew Santino?

  Imagine Stardew Valley is New York City, you just need to collect and slowly grow, it's, it takes time.

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  Oh, if you look, frame it like that, I love it.

• 1:10:24Andrew Santino?

  See? I just have, you have to speak to him like that. You would.

• 1:10:28Speaker 01

  Maybe you would, I don't know, it's, it's got.

• 1:10:29Bobby Lee?

  Here's another reason.

• 1:10:30Andrew Santino?

  No, he, dude, he.

• 1:10:31Bobby Lee?

  I've been there a lot, and I've never, as a single man, in New York, women don't like me.

• 1:10:37Andrew Santino?

  That's not true, he, this is such.

• 1:10:38Bobby Lee?

  I've never hooked up.

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  But don't you have a girlfriend?

• 1:10:40Bobby Lee?

  No, but this is before.

• 1:10:41Andrew Santino?

  No, when he was single, he's saying, whenever, when he was single.

• 1:10:43Speaker 01

  Oh, so you have bad memories, cause you weren't.

• 1:10:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, through my thirty years of going to New York.

• 1:10:48Andrew Santino?

  I feel like New York's a city where like, the ugliest, weirdest guy you know can get laid.

• 1:10:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's, you're, you're in your head, you could totally.

• 1:10:55Andrew Santino?

  A hundred percent you can get laid in New York. You would get laid in New York, so, if you put some effort and time into it.

• 1:10:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:11:00Andrew Santino?

  I bet you could.

• 1:11:00Bobby Lee?

  Well, I have a girlfriend that's committed.

• 1:11:02Andrew Santino?

  I'm saying, when you're not, if you're not in a relation, well, who knows?

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  Is this serious?

• 1:11:07Bobby Lee?

  I do, I do love her.

• 1:11:08Andrew Santino?

  She's casting a spell right now.

• 1:11:12Andrew Santino?

  So we'll see.

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  There's a little onion-shaped Bobby at home.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  I love her so much.

• 1:11:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:18Andrew Santino?

  She's slowly peeling away a layer if he doesn't obey.

• 1:11:21Bobby Lee?

  What does your girlfriend do?

• 1:11:22Speaker 01

  She's a, a creative director at a makeup company.

• 1:11:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's cool. That's a real job.

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  Women love that shit.

• 1:11:27Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, she would love that shit.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:30Andrew Santino?

  That is such a cool of your girlfriends, like Feinstein would be like, oh my god, give me some of that shit.

• 1:11:34Speaker 01

  Give me some shit, yeah, the women like it.

• 1:11:36Andrew Santino?

  That is a, that is a huge plus, if the, if the, the partner works at a place where your friends are like, that's cool.

• 1:11:42Bobby Lee?

  Is it Olive Young?

• 1:11:44Speaker 01

  No, what's that?

• 1:11:45Andrew Santino?

  That's his cousin.

• 1:11:49Bobby Lee?

  You don't know about Olive Young?

• 1:11:50Andrew Santino?

  I don't know what that is, dude, I don't fucking use makeup. I should.

• 1:11:53Speaker 02

  I think that's more Asian to Bobby.

• 1:11:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, is it more Asian?

• 1:11:56Andrew Santino?

  That's her, Olive Young?

• 1:11:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the hottest, um, Korean, you know, it's like, that's Korean Sephora.

• 1:12:02Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:12:02Bobby Lee?

  Finally landed in, in America, and the line is.

• 1:12:06Andrew Santino?

  Like it's a spaceship.

• 1:12:08Bobby Lee?

  And, yeah, it landed, and, um, I go there all the time.

• 1:12:11Andrew Santino?

  Where is that? Is that downtown LA?

• 1:12:13Bobby Lee?

  There's one at the Century City, and there's one in Pasadena. The Pasadena line is around the block. I would not wait in that.

• 1:12:19Andrew Santino?

  God, we should've gotten that business. What are we doing in podcasting? We should've gotten the Olive Young.

• 1:12:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:23Andrew Santino?

  It'd be pickle old.

• 1:12:24Bobby Lee?

  Like, if you wanna get acne patches, you don't break out. You have beautiful olive skin.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  Thank you. What the, I don't know what to expect with you.

• 1:12:32Andrew Santino?

  Just wait, it's coming.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  I'm guarded, always.

• 1:12:34Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  Cause, cause I don't know which.

• 1:12:36Bobby Lee?

  These are pure observations.

• 1:12:38Andrew Santino?

  You have olive skin.

• 1:12:39Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 1:12:40Andrew Santino?

  You know, when you leave an olive too long in the, in the stuff, and it just sits.

• 1:12:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but his tone.

• 1:12:44Andrew Santino?

  Browns a little bit.

• 1:12:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I get it, it's very Mediterranean, his tone.

• 1:12:47Andrew Santino?

  He's fucking Jewish.

• 1:12:49Speaker 01

  He did an episode of my podcast where he called me gray for an hour, and I didn't know what it.

• 1:12:53Bobby Lee?

  That's what the, that's what I was leaning at.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:55Bobby Lee?

  It is gray.

• 1:12:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:56Andrew Santino?

  No, he's not, he's got a good tan.

• 1:13:00Andrew Santino?

  Kid's got an incredible tan.

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  I don't know what the fuck to make of it, I don't know.

• 1:13:03Bobby Lee?

  I love you, dude.

• 1:13:04Andrew Santino?

  Are you.

• 1:13:04Bobby Lee?

  Welcome to the show.

• 1:13:05Andrew Santino?

  Are you still single, by the way? Did you break up with that guy?

• 1:13:08Speaker 02

  No, I'm still single.

• 1:13:10Bobby Lee?

  No, she's still seeing him.

• 1:13:11Andrew Santino?

  Does he come over to the house still, sometimes?

• 1:13:13Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:13:13Andrew Santino?

  Never?

• 1:13:14Speaker 02

  Never.

• 1:13:15Andrew Santino?

  Bob?

• 1:13:16Bobby Lee?

  Well, he lives in Belgium.

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  Oh, you're dating a guy from Belgium?

• 1:13:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  That's wild.

• 1:13:21Andrew Santino?

  Did you ever do long distance?

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  Many times, it's awful.

• 1:13:24Andrew Santino?

  Not like that.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  Not Belgium, LA is not, I did in LA a couple of times.

• 1:13:27Andrew Santino?

  LA to here is tough.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  God, you're going through airport security to get laid, it's fucking terrible.

• 1:13:32Bobby Lee?

  Well, how long would you see this person from LA? Like, you'd come, like, a year or whatever?

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  I've done a few, I, I think there was a period where I was only dating like, women from LA, because I, I think I would just open up to them, being like, well, we'll never date. And then you're like, fuck, now we're dating.

• 1:13:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:44Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:13:45Speaker 01

  But it was like a safety thing, but yeah.

• 1:13:47Andrew Santino?

  It's an expensive date to take a flight across the country.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Oh, dude, it was, and also, with how much we travel already, it's like, adding that in, dude.

• 1:13:55Andrew Santino?

  I have a buddy of mine who's had a long-distance relationship, we had a heart-to-heart about it, cause he was like, I gotta get out of it. But it's so hard to break up with someone far away, because you have to do it to the face.

• 1:14:04Bobby Lee?

  You don't have to do it to the face.

• 1:14:06Andrew Santino?

  No, because he's like, it's so rude to break up with someone far away over media, over, like, digital.

• 1:14:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, but.

• 1:14:14Bobby Lee?

  No, I do smokes and signals, I don't give a fuck.

• 1:14:16Andrew Santino?

  You still doing that?

• 1:14:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't give a fuck.

• 1:14:20Speaker 01

  That act there, sold it right there. Bobby, what do you think this is, a black room right here? What the hell was that act there?

• 1:14:26Speaker 01

  He's on Def Jam.

• 1:14:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:28Andrew Santino?

  The smoke signal's actually how he landed his current girlfriend, though. She, she caught wind of it.

• 1:14:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:33Andrew Santino?

  One of her crows was flying through it.

• 1:14:35Bobby Lee?

  I was in Salem, you know.

• 1:14:36Andrew Santino?

  There's a single man down there!

• 1:14:38Speaker 01

  No, dude, it's, uh.

• 1:14:39Andrew Santino?

  That's a hard thing.

• 1:14:40Speaker 01

  You get to a point where you're just always, you're like, resenting the person, cause you're just, you're just looking at the screen all the time. I don't wanna be doing that.

• 1:14:46Andrew Santino?

  Are you FaceTiming with this guy all the time?

• 1:14:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:48Andrew Santino?

  That's tough.

• 1:14:49Bobby Lee?

  Handsome man.

• 1:14:51Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah, he's gotta be.

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  Well, there's all the, that downtime, right, when you, you run out of shit to talk about, and you're just like, no, I'm just like, mad. Cause so much of a relationship is also just like, you watch a movie together sometimes, and there's those times where you don't, you know.

• 1:15:03Speaker 02

  Well, I don't really care, I like being alone.

• 1:15:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's her thing.

• 1:15:07Bobby Lee?

  Now, when you, when you choose a movie with your girl, with your girlfriend, who makes the decision?

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  Oh, I, she picks the worst fucking, I have to pretend like I've seen all of her movies. She'll be like, we should watch Marie Antoinette, and I'll be, I'll be like, I just saw it. I just watched it. I'd love to, but, yeah, she, I, she lets me pick more movies.

• 1:15:25Andrew Santino?

  Did you guys watch bad TV together?

• 1:15:27Speaker 01

  Sometimes, but it's more, we watch, she always wants to watch like, weird artsy movies, which I love, so.

• 1:15:32Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's great. That's a huge win.

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  She's into that, so.

• 1:15:34Bobby Lee?

  That's good, that's good.

• 1:15:35Andrew Santino?

  You know it's back, by the way.

• 1:15:36Bobby Lee?

  I saw, I've been, I'm caught up, are you?

• 1:15:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I'm caught up.

• 1:15:39Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:15:39Bobby Lee?

  What do you like?

• 1:15:39Andrew Santino?

  The Great British Baking Show.

• 1:15:41Bobby Lee?

  You like this season?

• 1:15:41Speaker 01

  Ooh, I like that.

• 1:15:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, cause me and my cousin, my cousin comes over to the house and we make, uh, we watch it together, me, my wife, my cousin, and we do, um, draft night, we have.

• 1:15:48Speaker 01

  The guy with the amazing eyes, right?

• 1:15:51Bobby Lee?

  Paul Hollywood, Paul Hollywood?

• 1:15:52Andrew Santino?

  Paul Hollywood, yeah.

• 1:15:53Speaker 01

  He's like a wolf.

• 1:15:54Andrew Santino?

  He's the man.

• 1:15:54Bobby Lee?

  He's a man, pure man.

• 1:15:56Andrew Santino?

  We do draft night, we draft our picks to who's gonna win the Great British Baking off, yeah, we, we put a little wager on it, it's really, really fun.

• 1:16:02Bobby Lee?

  You know what I like about this?

• 1:16:03Speaker 01

  You could bet on Polly Market now? You could probably bet on them.

• 1:16:05Andrew Santino?

  I don't know, we do it, we do it at the house just for fun, but yes, I'm sure Kelsey has that bet up right now. Who, who, do you, do you got a horse in the race?

• 1:16:13Bobby Lee?

  No, but there's a couple of people in the show that I, I have confidence in.

• 1:16:16Andrew Santino?

  I have a guy, I already, I, I know, my team.

• 1:16:18Bobby Lee?

  I know that guy.

• 1:16:18Andrew Santino?

  My team is stacked.

• 1:16:19Bobby Lee?

  I know that guy.

• 1:16:20Andrew Santino?

  By the way, there was a girl, I'm not giving anything away, it's been out for long enough, you should know, but there was a girl, there's a girl in a wheelchair, who, on the very first episode, is getting a cake out of the oven and drops it.

• 1:16:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:30Andrew Santino?

  And it's the Carlos.

• 1:16:32Speaker 01

  The first time that happened, yeah.

• 1:16:33Andrew Santino?

  Carlos.

• 1:16:34Bobby Lee?

  You're a fucking piece of shit, dude.

• 1:16:37Speaker 01

  Someone should've helped her, I was laughing at that guy who didn't.

• 1:16:41Andrew Santino?

  Help her do what?

• 1:16:42Speaker 01

  Takes them out of the oven, she's in a wheelchair, she can't be doing that.

• 1:16:44Andrew Santino?

  She can't, they can do anything you can do.

• 1:16:47Bobby Lee?

  They can do everything you can do.

• 1:16:48Speaker 01

  Except for walk. Yeah, except for stare.

• 1:16:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my god, god.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  You know what I like about that show is everyone is so nice.

• 1:16:55Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:16:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, they're all British.

• 1:16:56Speaker 01

  Any of these, any, but the British judges in America are assholes.

• 1:16:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's right, when they come here, they change.

• 1:17:01Speaker 01

  When they come here, they change, well, on that show, they're like, you know, they'll be like, I'm, I'm sorry, your loaf was just a little overcooked, and they're like, and they're hugging each other, you're like, oh my god, it's beautiful.

• 1:17:08Andrew Santino?

  Well, what's crazy, cause there's no prize, they don't win money on that show. It's just for pride, it's, they're all have, one of the guys is a fucking pediatric doctor.

• 1:17:16Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 1:17:16Andrew Santino?

  And there's no money to be made, so I think it removes the pressure and the tension.

• 1:17:21Bobby Lee?

  You take top three, though, you could have a career.

• 1:17:23Andrew Santino?

  But a lot of them don't really, they just, it's obvious.

• 1:17:26Bobby Lee?

  Remember that one season, um, Paul Hollywood, um, got that kid into.

• 1:17:30Andrew Santino?

  Two handshakes that guy got.

• 1:17:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but he also got him into a.

• 1:17:32Andrew Santino?

  Into a restaurant.

• 1:17:33Bobby Lee?

  A, a five-star restaurant.

• 1:17:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah. A Michelin restaurant.

• 1:17:36Bobby Lee?

  Michelin restaurant, yeah.

• 1:17:36Speaker 01

  It's like Last Comic Standing or something, it's like, you get a little bump from it.

• 1:17:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's somehow Last Comic Standing is more sad, I don't even know.

• 1:17:44Andrew Santino?

  And this one is emotionally sad, that one's just terrible.

• 1:17:46Speaker 01

  Chopped is also like, there's so many episodes. I don't even know if it gives you a boost if you're on that.

• 1:17:51Andrew Santino?

  No. By the way, did you audition for, uh, Last Comic Standing?

• 1:17:55Speaker 01

  I was on it.

• 1:17:56Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you did it?

• 1:17:56Speaker 01

  I did. And I did America's Got Talent.

• 1:17:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I remember the AGT thing, but you had talked about, you're like, I'm gonna go pop off and who gives a shit? Just to do it.

• 1:18:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:04Bobby Lee?

  You did it?

• 1:18:05Speaker 01

  It was.

• 1:18:05Bobby Lee?

  When?

• 1:18:05Andrew Santino?

  I don't remember you did Last Comic Standing.

• 1:18:07Speaker 01

  I was on, I didn't make it far.

• 1:18:09Andrew Santino?

  Who were the judges?

• 1:18:10Speaker 01

  Keenan, Roseanne, and Norm, and Jezzelnik was the host.

• 1:18:15Andrew Santino?

  Norm, though, huge.

• 1:18:16Speaker 01

  He was, he, he shouted out one of my jokes.

• 1:18:18Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  So I, I, he, I had a joke where I said, my, my last girlfriend was a hoarder and she broke up with me, which stung extra hard. I'm, I'm like the one thing she can get rid of.

• 1:18:28Speaker 01

  She killed and Norm was like, that joke is gold. So that felt like, that was like the world to me that Norm liked it. Roseanne was very nice to me, too. Keenan kinda dug me a little bit.

• 1:18:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:18:37Andrew Santino?

  But Keenan knows you, cause you know what I mean, right?

• 1:18:39Speaker 01

  No, I don't know Keenan.

• 1:18:40Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I thought you knew him.

• 1:18:41Speaker 01

  Ivory Wayans? I know Keenan Thompson.

• 1:18:43Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I thought it was Keenan Thompson.

• 1:18:44Speaker 01

  No, I know, sorry.

• 1:18:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it's Keenan Ivory Wayans.

• 1:18:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:46Speaker 01

  He didn't really like me as much and.

• 1:18:48Andrew Santino?

  He only likes Wayans. You gotta be one of the Wayans to get.

• 1:18:51Bobby Lee?

  There's fifty-three of them, so, you know.

• 1:18:52Andrew Santino?

  I like how they made Roseanne look like a human for a second.

• 1:18:57Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:18:58Speaker 01

  But it was cool. Yeah, I, I remember I, uh, he took a shot at me a little bit. He was like, yeah, some of your jokes were good, some of the others weren't. And I said, I said, well, I loved all the scary movie films and it got a big pop.

• 1:19:07Andrew Santino?

  That's so funny.

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  So when I got offstage, I remember Norm like found me and he goes, I liked you, I liked you shit on him.

• 1:19:12Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:19:13Speaker 01

  That was a cool, so even when I got sent home, I was like, that was.

• 1:19:15Andrew Santino?

  Did you spend any other time with Norm at all?

• 1:19:17Speaker 01

  I only met him a couple of times. I met him once at Caroline's and he was very nice. Uh, but yeah, I only met him a couple of times. And then AGT was awful. It was like an awful experience. I had, I, Gary Vider, my friend went on with Howard Stern, like, oh, I think I would have done really well with Stern. I made a couple of rounds, but, uh, Simon Cowell was a judge. He loved me in round one. If you see the cut of it, I follow a Jewish rap group.

• 1:19:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:38Speaker 01

  And would you believe it? Didn't work.

• 1:19:41Andrew Santino?

  It's like they were called Beastie Boys or something like that?

• 1:19:44Speaker 01

  No, but Simon was like, you're terrible. You should quit the business. You should kill yourself. And I was like, oh my God, I had to follow this?

• 1:19:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:50Speaker 01

  And then, uh, I crushed. I don't know why. Every, I was in like the Pasadena in this like five thousand seater, every joke, they, they built me up in a good way. So I kill and I got a standing O on the show.

• 1:20:01Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:20:01Speaker 01

  And the way they cut it, I told one joke that was, it was like an old joke. I was like, I'm thinking of clean jokes. It was like I, uh, I was in the elevator, I farted and I laughed cause that's funny, you know? But then the door opened and a beautiful woman came on. I was like, not funny anymore.

• 1:20:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:14Speaker 01

  But then the door opened, I got off, she's, the clothes, it closes again, she's stuck with a fart. Funny again.

• 1:20:19Andrew Santino?

  Funny, yeah.

• 1:20:19Speaker 01

  So, yeah, the way they cut it, I got a standing O after that joke. So it just looked fucking ridiculous. I'm telling a fart joke and you just see like Heidi Klum and, and, uh, Mel be like.

• 1:20:32Andrew Santino?

  Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  And Simon was like inspired, like he loved me. And then the next round, uh, I followed like some, you feel bad for these people. They're fucking like having, they're dancers, they have to stretch and shit.

• 1:20:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:45Speaker 01

  I could go on drunk.

• 1:20:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:47Speaker 01

  I'm watching like a, there's like a couple next to me. They're like, you know, two, this fat couple from Atlantic City, they're like dancing Mambo number five. And I'm like, I'm getting like anxiety. I'm texting my mom and I'm like, I can't fuck, I can't even focus. My mom goes, read a book. And I'm like, there's. There's a parrot screaming next to me. Like, I can't read.

• 1:21:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:03Speaker 01

  And, uh, I remember the next one, they put me on at like midnight after a crowd that's been there for like twelve hours.

• 1:21:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  And, and, and Simon's like, yeah, the, the crowd seemed a little tired tonight. And I was like, it's midnight.

• 1:21:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:14Speaker 01

  So, yeah, I didn't move on.

• 1:21:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you, you held them captive inside a theater for twelve hours.

• 1:21:18Speaker 01

  That was a tough, I remember the guy moved on with this amazing, uh, mime named Tape Face.

• 1:21:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Tape Face. I saw that guy.

• 1:21:27Speaker 01

  He's unbelievable.

• 1:21:27Bobby Lee?

  I've seen that guy, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. It's like a totally different thing. It's like Chaplin-esque, unbelievable. But, you know.

• 1:21:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he was great. He's, he's gotta be a Vegas act by now or something, right?

• 1:21:36Speaker 01

  I think he's big time. Yeah. He was a very nice guy.

• 1:21:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he exploded from that fucking shot.

• 1:21:40Bobby Lee?

  You guys wanna do a bit with this?

• 1:21:42Andrew Santino?

  It's supposed to be mine. Feed it, give it to me.

• 1:21:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:45Andrew Santino?

  I'm supposed to eat the cat sandwich.

• 1:21:46Bobby Lee?

  Here you go, the cat sandwich.

• 1:21:47Andrew Santino?

  It's very funny. This is where our budget's going, by the way, half of the time. Whenever you wanna know where our budget is, I do wanna take this home to my dog, though. This is very cute.

• 1:21:53Bobby Lee?

  That is cute.

• 1:21:54Speaker 01

  Might not be dog friendly.

• 1:21:56Andrew Santino?

  What does that mean?

• 1:21:57Speaker 01

  With what's inside.

• 1:21:58Andrew Santino?

  What, what's inside?

• 1:21:59Speaker 01

  If it's like little balls or something.

• 1:22:02Andrew Santino?

  Little balls?

• 1:22:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, like.

• 1:22:03Bobby Lee?

  Does it feel like there's balls in there?

• 1:22:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, little tiny balls. Well, she can rip it open and spray them everywhere. We were, I was over at Adam Ray's house to, uh, this morning. I gotta tell you the funniest thing I've ever seen. The, his dog, I felt something on my shoe and I was like, what is on my fucking shoe? I looked down, his dog goes, little tiny dog goes into their little garden and grabs rocks. And she chews on rocks and then puts them on your shoe.

• 1:22:25Bobby Lee?

  That's so cute.

• 1:22:26Andrew Santino?

  I know, but I was like, get it a ball. It's gonna crack its fucking teeth on rocks.

• 1:22:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:31Andrew Santino?

  He's like, nah, she doesn't really like the balls as much. She liked the rocks. I'm like, is this Cam Patterson as a, as a fucking dog?

• 1:22:38Bobby Lee?

  Uh, yeah.

• 1:22:39Andrew Santino?

  Is your dog Cam Patterson? She literally, literally kept putting it on my shoe and then I'd pick it up and I'd throw it away. Ten minutes later, it'd find another rock in the garden and bring it up. It's this big.

• 1:22:48Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:22:49Andrew Santino?

  It was chewing on rocks.

• 1:22:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:50Andrew Santino?

  I was like, Adam, you gotta train this thing not to chew on rocks.

• 1:22:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:53Andrew Santino?

  It's gonna.

• 1:22:54Bobby Lee?

  It's gonna die.

• 1:22:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude, you can't eat rocks. You can eat rocks. Yeah. I'm prone to it.

• 1:22:59Bobby Lee?

  Her mom let Julio to beat, uh, bite, um, my girlfriend again.

• 1:23:04Andrew Santino?

  Julio bit your girlfriend again?

• 1:23:05Bobby Lee?

  Yep.

• 1:23:06Andrew Santino?

  That's like the third bite.

• 1:23:07Bobby Lee?

  And then I got, and then, and then look right, look right here. He bit me.

• 1:23:10Andrew Santino?

  That's Julio again?

• 1:23:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I had to push him away. He bit me and I'm like, why is.

• 1:23:14Andrew Santino?

  Julio is their groundskeeper.

• 1:23:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I was thinking about calling eyes, but.

• 1:23:22Bobby Lee?

  The biting is light, you know?

• 1:23:23Andrew Santino?

  Biting everybody. Dude, that's crazy that he's keep biting people.

• 1:23:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:27Andrew Santino?

  You gotta do something.

• 1:23:28Bobby Lee?

  I know, we gotta do something. Why do you do this?

• 1:23:30Andrew Santino?

  You train him to bite? No. Yeah, you fucking do. She's got a little, a little tiny Bobby. Like here.

• 1:23:36Speaker 01

  I get annoyed when people have bitey dogs. There's a guy who lives in my neighborhood. He's always, this dog always fucking attacks when you see him on the street.

• 1:23:42Andrew Santino?

  It's aggressive dog.

• 1:23:42Speaker 01

  I don't like it.

• 1:23:43Andrew Santino?

  What kinda dog is it?

• 1:23:44Speaker 01

  It's a big fucking dog.

• 1:23:45Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:23:46Speaker 01

  I don't like that shit.

• 1:23:47Andrew Santino?

  No, I, I, you know what's so funny is everyone wants you to be comfortable with their dogs. I think as a dog person, you gotta know, not everybody wants to fucking see you, see, touch your, be around your dog.

• 1:23:56Speaker 01

  I love dogs. I just don't wanna get bit.

• 1:23:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, me too. But also I don't, I don't know if I love your dog. I love dogs. I don't know if I love your dog. That's how I feel all the time.

• 1:24:03Speaker 01

  People, I guess.

• 1:24:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, a hundred percent.

• 1:24:05Bobby Lee?

  Do you have a dog?

• 1:24:05Speaker 01

  I don't. I would love one.

• 1:24:07Andrew Santino?

  You deserve a dog.

• 1:24:08Speaker 01

  I might get one at some point.

• 1:24:09Andrew Santino?

  But he's on the road so much. What's he gonna do with it?

• 1:24:11Bobby Lee?

  That isn't enough enough, man.

• 1:24:13Andrew Santino?

  What are you talking about?

• 1:24:14Bobby Lee?

  We could go on the road all the time. We're gonna probably take a break.

• 1:24:16Andrew Santino?

  He's a professional comedian.

• 1:24:18Bobby Lee?

  That's why.

• 1:24:19Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  If we, if we, if I, if she moves in, maybe I'll, I'll do a dog. And you need someone to be there.

• 1:24:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right.

• 1:24:25Andrew Santino?

  Has the kid, have you pitched that to the kid?

• 1:24:28Speaker 01

  No, but that would be a cool surprise, right?

• 1:24:29Andrew Santino?

  My God. And you're really gonna get, that's, that's a good in. You buy the kid a dog?

• 1:24:33Bobby Lee?

  But that's a commitment.

• 1:24:35Speaker 01

  The kid or the dog?

• 1:24:36Bobby Lee?

  The dog.

• 1:24:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, kids you can get rid of. Dogs are forever.

• 1:24:40Bobby Lee?

  Dog is a commitment.

• 1:24:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I think you gotta do that.

• 1:24:42Bobby Lee?

  No, but you're committed now to the relationship almost in a weird way.

• 1:24:46Speaker 01

  I think, yeah, you see it. You see.

• 1:24:47Bobby Lee?

  I mean, right? It's a big, like, moving in.

• 1:24:50Andrew Santino?

  Once you say I love you to the kid, yeah, what are you gonna do? Break his heart?

• 1:24:52Bobby Lee?

  No, because my ex, what links me to my ex is our animals.

• 1:24:58Andrew Santino?

  It's not the same thing.

• 1:24:59Bobby Lee?

  It is not?

• 1:25:00Andrew Santino?

  No, they're gonna die. This is a kid that's gonna grow up and this is like a father figure that comes by.

• 1:25:05Bobby Lee?

  That's true.

• 1:25:06Speaker 01

  Oh, dude, we got into a fight once where she said, uh, she found an ex-girlfriend's robe of mine and I was like, she's like, what the fuck is this? And I was like, it's a robe. It's an ex-girlfriend. And she was like, and I was like, you got stuff from your last relationships. And she said, like, what? I said, like that fucking kid I brought to the Knicks game the other.

• 1:25:21Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow, yeah.

• 1:25:22Speaker 01

  So I mean, like, but I mean, you know.

• 1:25:25Bobby Lee?

  I love.

• 1:25:26Andrew Santino?

  That's so good, dude.

• 1:25:27Speaker 01

  But I mean, you know, I, I, yeah, if we get to that place where it's stable, yeah, I love dogs, dude. My ex is an awesome dog. I love that dog.

• 1:25:33Andrew Santino?

  Do you gotta go through, when you, when you first started dating her and you have to go through your house to get, get out your ex's shit from everywhere? Have, did you do that?

• 1:25:41Speaker 01

  No, clearly I didn't do a good job. I did a sweep, but she left so much shit there that I was just like, I, I missed a couple of things.

• 1:25:47Andrew Santino?

  That's the Costanza. She's, she's planting evidence, dude. She's leaving it behind to be found.

• 1:25:51Speaker 01

  But she was yelling at me for this stuff. And then I see her using, she, I go, did you just use like one of those creams you found from her? And she goes, yeah. I go, can't fucking yell at me.

• 1:25:59Andrew Santino?

  That's true. Yeah.

• 1:25:59Speaker 01

  You're using the creams.

• 1:26:01Andrew Santino?

  It's void now.

• 1:26:02Speaker 01

  You, you use the creams, you can't scream.

• 1:26:05Andrew Santino?

  How, how, uh, how desolate and funny does it get when you're in a relationship and she has all her fancy shampoos and washes and everything? And then when you break up and then you have what in there? Just a bar of soap?

• 1:26:15Speaker 01

  Frederick Fakai in my fucking shower. What the hell is this shit?

• 1:26:19Bobby Lee?

  Did you ever go, you guys try this skin product on your face? I don't wanna try your shit.

• 1:26:23Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Women see one fucking five-minute window where you sit on the couch and they're like, can I start popping your blackheads? And you're like, can I just sit down?

• 1:26:31Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:26:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I, blackheads I don't do.

• 1:26:33Andrew Santino?

  They need to be activated, dude. They love that.

• 1:26:35Bobby Lee?

  I have a blackhead right here.

• 1:26:37Andrew Santino?

  No, don't show me. I don't wanna see it.

• 1:26:38Bobby Lee?

  I have a blackhead right here, dude.

• 1:26:40Andrew Santino?

  Do you?

• 1:26:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  That's fucking gross.

• 1:26:41Bobby Lee?

  It's pure black. It's the best kind. Anyway, um.

• 1:26:45Andrew Santino?

  It's phantom black.

• 1:26:46Bobby Lee?

  What did we learn today?

• 1:26:47Andrew Santino?

  Rudy, what did you learn? Um, the Tito Bobby hates him. Mm-hmm. And Sam is from London. That's right.

• 1:26:56Speaker 01

  London.

• 1:26:57Andrew Santino?

  Liverpool, specifically, actually, Liverpool. And gay.

• 1:27:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:00Andrew Santino?

  He's not gay. All right, sign us off, Rudy in that camera. Do it. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you.

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