Ancient Korean Wise Tales w/ Howie Mandel

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Shopify, 1-800 Flowers, Square & Shipstation, • Shopify: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://www.shopify.com/badfriends • 1-800-FLOWERS: To claim your Double your Roses offer, go to https://1800flowers.com/badfriends. • Square: Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at https://square.com/go/badfriends. • Shipstation: Start your free trial today at https://www.shipstation.com/badfriends.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 RIP Ho-Hum 6:00 Dentists in the Philippines 10:30 Period Face Paint 14:15 Ancient Wise Tales 22:40 Snoop Dogg Skechers 28:30 Howie Mandel Judges Rudy's Singing 33:30 Simon Cowell 38:00 Bobby Lee on America's Got Talent 42:25 A. I. Predicts Howie's Death 49:00 The Bill Burr/Billy Corgan Situation 55:35 Howie's 70th Birthday 1:00:00 Armie Hammer's Chops 1:04:30 Leaky Butt 1:08:00 How to Impress Green Day More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ads Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

  You two are bad friends.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  Who are these two idiots?

• 0:33Speaker 01

  A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

• 0:38Speaker 02

  Well, you two are something.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  We're bad friends.

• 0:42Bobby Lee?

  Ho-hum, down in the bayou. We got legs that are tired, lights that flicker in the night. Ho-hum, my old black legs are skimming through the sand with my weepy eyes and my sour soul. And I'm coming around. What's up? That was improvised.

• 1:07Andrew Santino?

  Ho-hum.

• 1:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah. You know the ho-hum?

• 1:11Andrew Santino?

  As you trek through the woods with your bow.

• 1:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:18Andrew Santino?

  Ho-hum.

• 1:23Bobby Lee?

  Where your porridge is cold but your anus is numb.

• 1:28Andrew Santino?

  Ho-hum. Where the donuts are old fairy and they're filled with calm.

• 1:39Bobby Lee?

  Ho-hum. My Mexican friend is dumb but he's got no Julio Iglesias. I don't know.

• 1:51Andrew Santino?

  Damn, dude.

• 1:52Bobby Lee?

  I couldn't do it, dude.

• 1:53Andrew Santino?

  So close.

• 1:54Bobby Lee?

  I'm so tired.

• 1:55Andrew Santino?

  No, you got it.

• 1:56Bobby Lee?

  But anyway, um, thanks for the donut. Have you had one of these?

• 1:59Andrew Santino?

  I have.

• 1:59Bobby Lee?

  No, you haven't. Dude, let me see. No, you haven't. Get it.

• 2:02Andrew Santino?

  Well, I didn't eat it today.

• 2:03Bobby Lee?

  Get a pistachio, dude.

• 2:04Andrew Santino?

  Man.

• 2:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm gonna prove a point here.

• 2:06Andrew Santino?

  You know what the fans love when we eat on the show?

• 2:09Bobby Lee?

  Well, just take a bite.

• 2:11Andrew Santino?

  I will take one little bite of a stash. Do you guys want some of this?

• 2:14Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God.

• 2:15Andrew Santino?

  Is it soft?

• 2:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Well, let the flavors sink in. Let the flavors sink in.

• 2:23Andrew Santino?

  You know what my biggest problem is?

• 2:24Bobby Lee?

  Do you think Paul Hollywood just goes eat and then says it?

• 2:26Andrew Santino?

  He does.

• 2:27Bobby Lee?

  He does this. No, sometimes he does this.

• 2:32Andrew Santino?

  Let me tell you something. I don't like that it's got like cre- cream in it.

• 2:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh, oh, oh, yeah?

• 2:40Andrew Santino?

  I don't like.

• 2:41Bobby Lee?

  You got cream inside you. And people eat that.

• 2:47Andrew Santino?

  Man, you are tired.

• 2:50Bobby Lee?

  Okay?

• 2:52Bobby Lee?

  There's cream in everything, dude. In titty milk. Dude, a lady last night, a sixty-eight-year-old lady, pulled out her titty. In my show.

• 3:03Andrew Santino?

  That's your crowd?

• 3:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And I go, um, I thought the joke I said was, what comes out of their cottage cheese? And it got nothing. And then, my second show last night in Houston, I hear a thud, a thump. Like a big thump. And I looked to my right, and there's a six-hundred-pound man, I'm not kidding you. Laying on the floor, face-first on the floor like this.

• 3:29Andrew Santino?

  Going, "Oh."

• 3:32Bobby Lee?

  This comedy sucks, I'm taking a nap.

• 3:38Andrew Santino?

  So wait a minute, there's a big fat dude on the floor?

• 3:40Bobby Lee?

  Right. Oh, you are coming?

• 3:44Andrew Santino?

  Well, thanks for showing up.

• 3:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so this guy is laying on his, like, he is, I think he's dead. So there's two choices, right?

• 3:53Andrew Santino?

  Piss on him?

• 3:54Bobby Lee?

  No. Pretend it's not happening.

• 3:56Andrew Santino?

  Right, yeah.

• 3:57Bobby Lee?

  Just keep going.

• 3:58Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 3:59Bobby Lee?

  Because it was off to my right, so I see staff, the managers.

• 4:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 4:03Bobby Lee?

  Trying to revive him. And I'm going, "Yeah, that's what the Chicano said," you know, whatever, right? And then, um, I just looked to the right and I go, "What's going on?" And they go, "We don't know, man." It's packed.

• 4:15Andrew Santino?

  Sold out.

• 4:16Bobby Lee?

  And it's now, people are just rumbling.

• 4:19Andrew Santino?

  Oh, there's rumblings.

• 4:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, now people are rumbling, right, and I'm going off to the side looking to see, "You gonna be okay, man? He's 600 pounds, right? It takes him like 20 minutes to get the fuck out of there."

• 4:29Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 4:30Bobby Lee?

  Ho, ho, right, right? And then, um...

• 4:35Andrew Santino?

  They got a forklift in the... Do, do, do.

• 4:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, um...

• 4:41Andrew Santino?

  You hear him breathing outside.

• 4:42Bobby Lee?

  You know how hard it is to restart the room?

• 4:44Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:45Bobby Lee?

  Bro.

• 4:46Andrew Santino?

  Dude, I had a guy had, like, had a stroke in Nashville, in the balcony at Zany's.

• 4:51Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 4:51Andrew Santino?

  I was like, "Am I gonna do this show now?"

• 4:53Bobby Lee?

  Wait, in the middle of your act?

• 4:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 4:56Bobby Lee?

  And you stopped?

• 4:57Andrew Santino?

  Well, there was like a big commotion. And then I was like, "What's going on?" And then they were like, "It's medical emergency," and I was like...

• 5:02Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 5:03Andrew Santino?

  My thought was, "Dead, somebody died."

• 5:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:05Andrew Santino?

  You know, because that happened, that's happened at almost every show I've done.

• 5:08Bobby Lee?

  So then this morning, I get a direct message from some guy. "Want to let you know, guy, dude, that guy died last night."

• 5:14Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 5:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:16Andrew Santino?

  Carlos.

• 5:17Bobby Lee?

  Carlos, what the?

• 5:18Andrew Santino?

  That's not funny.

• 5:19Bobby Lee?

  Carlos, man!

• 5:22Bobby Lee?

  Carlos!

• 5:22Andrew Santino?

  That's not funny, dude.

• 5:23Bobby Lee?

  That's not funny, Carlos!

• 5:25Andrew Santino?

  Stop it, dude.

• 5:27Bobby Lee?

  I can't believe it. I can't believe it!

• 5:29Andrew Santino?

  Stop that!

• 5:29Bobby Lee?

  Ho, hum, dude!

• 5:31Andrew Santino?

  Dude, ho, hum died.

• 5:32Bobby Lee?

  Ho, hum died, dude! All right, that's insane, dude, Carlos.

• 5:35Andrew Santino?

  You're sick.

• 5:36Bobby Lee?

  You're evil, Carlos! Right, so I get, so I get it, then I start calling the management.

• 5:43Andrew Santino?

  No!

• 5:44Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 5:44Andrew Santino?

  That's not funny!

• 5:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:47Andrew Santino?

  Stop it, dude. You wanna...

• 5:49Bobby Lee?

  I mean, you should, you should have seen my reaction, I read, I was like...

• 5:53Andrew Santino?

  OMG.

• 5:54Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 5:55Andrew Santino?

  OMG.

• 5:55Bobby Lee?

  What's OMG mean?

• 5:56Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god.

• 5:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, I was oh my god-ing. And then I, and then it took me a while to get a, and then the manager goes, "No, he went and got a pizza."

• 6:03Andrew Santino?

  Ah, okay.

• 6:05Bobby Lee?

  No, there was a pizza place. I guess the medics came, he stood up, and went straight to the pizza place. No, I'm not kidding.

• 6:13Andrew Santino?

  Could smell the cheese.

• 6:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so I'm like, oh, so he just went to the pizza? He go, yeah, yeah, those pizza with plates that you went to earlier. Oh, it's good pizza, right? Thanks for fucking up my show. I hate, you know, when like, when I was in Phoenix, the sirens went off in the, you know what I mean?

• 6:26Andrew Santino?

  I don't know what you mean. You mean the fire alarm?

• 6:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, fire alarm, I mean.

• 6:30Andrew Santino?

  The sirens.

• 6:31Bobby Lee?

  Well, the stand up.

• 6:32Andrew Santino?

  Gay nightclub next door?

• 6:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so, yeah.

• 6:41Bobby Lee?

  Get ready for the ho hum, ho hum, ho hum.

• 6:44Andrew Santino?

  DDD DJ ho hum.

• 6:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that wasn't going on.

• 6:47Andrew Santino?

  Look who's here.

• 6:48Bobby Lee?

  Yep. Look at how brown she is.

• 6:50Andrew Santino?

  Damn dude, get out of the sun.

• 6:52Bobby Lee?

  You know, she was just in Hawaii for two weeks.

• 6:55Speaker 05

  It shows.

• 6:56Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 6:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:57Andrew Santino?

  It shows.

• 6:57Bobby Lee?

  It shows.

• 6:58Andrew Santino?

  That's not how you, that phrase doesn't go there.

• 7:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:03Andrew Santino?

  It's supposed to be, it's supposed to be facetious, the it shows. So if somebody goes, yeah, I went to five years of college, you go, yeah, it shows. That's what that is. She goes to Hawaii for, for how long?

• 7:13Speaker 06

  Two weeks.

• 7:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you don't go, it shows, you go, oh, that's nice. So try it again. How long did you go to Hawaii for?

• 7:20Speaker 06

  Two weeks.

• 7:21Speaker 05

  That's nice.

• 7:24Bobby Lee?

  Dude, just do it shows. I think it shows is good. That's not, it's not good.

• 7:28Andrew Santino?

  That's true.

• 7:29Bobby Lee?

  That's nice.

• 7:29Andrew Santino?

  So, hey, Carlos, bring up that, this, you, I saw a Filipino girl online, it reminded me of you. No, I'm serious.

• 7:36Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 7:37Andrew Santino?

  Not her, that's not it.

• 7:39Speaker 05

  I have it.

• 7:39Andrew Santino?

  But, but I want Bobby, just on this image real fast. How do you like your coffee, it says?

• 7:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:45Andrew Santino?

  Which one of those two tones are your coffee? Cause your mind might change when you see the whole cup.

• 7:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, can I, I love this game.

• 7:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 7:53Bobby Lee?

  I love the tone coffee game.

• 7:55Andrew Santino?

  So what kind of coffee, do you like it with a lot of cream or, or not that much cream?

• 7:59Bobby Lee?

  Me? I thought you were asking her.

• 8:01Andrew Santino?

  Anybody can answer.

• 8:03Bobby Lee?

  Or, um, well, I just, um, I like a lot of cream.

• 8:06Andrew Santino?

  You, you like the, the far right, a lot of cream, yeah. Let's see what the full cup looks like.

• 8:10Bobby Lee?

  What are the mocha, yeah?

• 8:11Andrew Santino?

  Jules, do you know her?

• 8:14Bobby Lee?

  Thank God I didn't do cream. Oh my God, thank God I didn't do cream.

• 8:18Speaker 06

  On the, no, on the left?

• 8:20Bobby Lee?

  The right.

• 8:21Andrew Santino?

  No, on the left, the right.

• 8:23Bobby Lee?

  Look at the teeth.

• 8:25Andrew Santino?

  Zoom in a little bit.

• 8:25Bobby Lee?

  Zoom in.

• 8:26Andrew Santino?

  Pinch on that.

• 8:27Bobby Lee?

  Are you pinching on it?

• 8:28Andrew Santino?

  I gotta tell you something. The tattoos,

• 8:32Andrew Santino?

  the tattoos aren't distracting enough.

• 8:35Speaker 06

  No.

• 8:36Andrew Santino?

  I thought this was fake, right? I thought it was like a fake.

• 8:38Bobby Lee?

  No, I've seen her face before.

• 8:40Andrew Santino?

  You know her?

• 8:40Bobby Lee?

  No, in my TikToks, I have, my algorithm shows her sometimes.

• 8:43Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 8:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:45Andrew Santino?

  I love her.

• 8:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I love her.

• 8:46Speaker 06

  The one on the left sexy though.

• 8:48Bobby Lee?

  Hot, yeah, but then the one on the right, um.

• 8:51Andrew Santino?

  The one on the left?

• 8:52Bobby Lee?

  Can I ask you a question? In, in, what, what, they don't have dentists. We, we should do a. No.

• 8:58Speaker 06

  Dentists in the Philippines?

• 9:00Bobby Lee?

  Don't you think that we make a cat?

• 9:01Andrew Santino?

  Go, Google Philippines.

• 9:03Speaker 06

  There's dentists in the Philippines?

• 9:05Andrew Santino?

  I don't think so.

• 9:05Bobby Lee?

  What the fuck is that?

• 9:07Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 9:09Bobby Lee?

  What is that? And if you're two teeth, come on.

• 9:13Andrew Santino?

  How much wood would a wood chuck chuck?

• 9:17Andrew Santino?

  Dentists in the Philippines in Cebu. Let's see.

• 9:20Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 9:21Andrew Santino?

  How many?

• 9:21Bobby Lee?

  There's three places on.

• 9:23Andrew Santino?

  Three in the whole fucking.

• 9:25Bobby Lee?

  Seventy thousand islands, three places.

• 9:26Andrew Santino?

  By the way, new dental clinic, cause the old one didn't make it.

• 9:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:30Andrew Santino?

  What's the first one? Cebu Dental Care. Give me reviews of Cebu Dental Care.

• 9:35Andrew Santino?

  Reviews. Four point nine, pretty good.

• 9:36Bobby Lee?

  That's good.

• 9:37Andrew Santino?

  Let's read it though.

• 9:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:39Andrew Santino?

  I had an excellent experience at Cebu Dental.

• 9:42Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no. I chew the accent.

• 9:44Andrew Santino?

  Oh, sorry about that.

• 9:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, do the accent.

• 9:48Andrew Santino?

  I had excellent experience at Cebu Dental Care Center.

• 9:51Bobby Lee?

  That's Indian, but I like it.

• 9:53Andrew Santino?

  Service outstanding.

• 9:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:55Andrew Santino?

  Price is reasonable.

• 9:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:57Andrew Santino?

  By the way, this is written by, these are all Americans. This isn't real.

• 10:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:01Andrew Santino?

  And let me know the one stars, two stars. I would not return there. We had only, we had only dental checks and cleaning and polishing, painful and useless and expensive.

• 10:08Bobby Lee?

  Dude, 300 years ago, when you had a toothache, what the fuck would you do?

• 10:11Andrew Santino?

  Pull it out.

• 10:12Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 10:13Andrew Santino?

  They used to pull them out.

• 10:14Bobby Lee?

  Even like if it's coming on?

• 10:17Andrew Santino?

  Oh dude, that's when you know to pull it out.

• 10:19Bobby Lee?

  Right, so if you got a little pain, you would start pulling it out?

• 10:21Andrew Santino?

  Yank it. What's it, why would you keep it?

• 10:23Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 10:24Andrew Santino?

  It's only gonna get infected, they're not gonna do anything with it.

• 10:26Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 10:27Andrew Santino?

  You know, it is crazy to think about people from like over a hundred years ago who still, who had good teeth.

• 10:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like back in the day, they used to use like some whale extract from like a-

• 10:37Andrew Santino?

  Whale blubber.

• 10:38Bobby Lee?

  To make cologne or perfume for women.

• 10:41Andrew Santino?

  Oh, right, right.

• 10:41Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Just different ways of, makeup was what? Back in the day.

• 10:46Andrew Santino?

  Flower, uh, flowers.

• 10:47Speaker 05

  Berries.

• 10:48Andrew Santino?

  Berries and flowers.

• 10:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, berries, no blood, no. In Transylvania, there's blood. I'm kidding, I don't know.

• 10:54Andrew Santino?

  How is my root?

• 10:57Bobby Lee?

  See, that's why I set it up, it's good, yeah. I'm a beat slow today.

• 11:02Andrew Santino?

  What did you, what, what did, what did, uh, why'd you say berries? Did you, did you ever use berries as a kid for makeup?

• 11:07Speaker 06

  No, but, um-

• 11:09Andrew Santino?

  On your lips?

• 11:10Speaker 06

  No, but there's a tradition where like if you get your first period, you have to put your period blood all over your face.

• 11:20Andrew Santino?

  I'm really glad you're back.

• 11:22Speaker 06

  I don't know if it's just in the Philippines, but that's what you-

• 11:24Bobby Lee?

  It's just in the Philippines. Just in the Philippines.

• 11:27Andrew Santino?

  I've never heard that before. Why women are using their period blood for face masks?

• 11:30Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that does work then.

• 11:32Andrew Santino?

  No, she's saying when you get your first.

• 11:34Speaker 06

  First period, I don't know, I don't do it every period.

• 11:37Bobby Lee?

  Well, there's a-

• 11:39Andrew Santino?

  There you go, despite this, culturally, the use of menstrual blood is something that has been done traditionally superstitiously for years in the Philippines. It said if you wash your face with period blood, you'll be blessed with acne-free skin during puberty. Did that work?

• 11:50Speaker 06

  No.

• 11:51Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 11:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:52Speaker 06

  And then like you have to jump like 10 times to like- What? That's a tradition!

• 11:58Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, jump like 10 times or what?

• 12:00Speaker 06

  Just jump 10 times to, I think-

• 12:02Andrew Santino?

  Shake, shake it loose?

• 12:04Speaker 06

  No, just-

• 12:05Andrew Santino?

  What is that, is the cork up there? You need to cork a wine bottle?

• 12:08Speaker 06

  Yeah, like that, my grandma did that.

• 12:10Bobby Lee?

  But you jump up and down for what reason?

• 12:12Speaker 06

  I think to have a longer life.

• 12:17Speaker 06

  I think that's it, yeah.

• 12:19Andrew Santino?

  Dude, tell me the song you guys sing when you do that.

• 12:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:22Speaker 06

  No song.

• 12:22Bobby Lee?

  There's no song?

• 12:23Andrew Santino?

  Treeky cheeky cheek.

• 12:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:24Andrew Santino?

  Treeky cheeky cheek. That, wait, so this is, so she painted her face, and you do it on your first one, and then that's supposed to bless you for life?

• 12:32Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 12:33Bobby Lee?

  Koreans believe, and this used to work, when you have a charlie horse, right?

• 12:38Speaker 06

  What's a charlie horse?

• 12:42Andrew Santino?

  Come here, I'll fuck it, I'll give you one.

• 12:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:44Andrew Santino?

  It's when you, it's when you have a, it's like a muscle cramp, uh...

• 12:47Bobby Lee?

  Or, or there's like a buzzing.

• 12:49Speaker 05

  How do they say charlie horse?

• 12:51Bobby Lee?

  What do you call it? Charlie horse?

• 12:52Andrew Santino?

  You're right, charlie horse.

• 12:53Bobby Lee?

  Why would you laugh at that, then?

• 12:55Speaker 05

  I just imagine Koreans saying it.

• 12:57Bobby Lee?

  Okay, yeah, yeah.

• 12:57Andrew Santino?

  Well, how do you say it in Korean? Well, zoom in, how do you say it in Korean?

• 13:01Bobby Lee?

  So if you had a charlie horse, right?

• 13:02Andrew Santino?

  Kyung, yuk, kyung, young.

• 13:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's either, it's, it's, it's used to say charlie horse.

• 13:08Andrew Santino?

  Charlie horse.

• 13:08Bobby Lee?

  Thank you, kkyung, young, dong, dong. Yeah, right?

• 13:12Bobby Lee?

  But you do this, my grandma would go,

• 13:15Bobby Lee?

  I don't know, speak Korean, but she goes, lick your finger, tap your nose three times.

• 13:21Andrew Santino?

  That would get rid of a charlie horse?

• 13:22Bobby Lee?

  It really did.

• 13:22Andrew Santino?

  No way.

• 13:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, when you have a charlie horse, anyone listening, right? Do that, it gets rid of it completely.

• 13:27Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 13:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:29Andrew Santino?

  I'm excited for my next charlie horse.

• 13:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:30Andrew Santino?

  I never heard, we didn't have any...

• 13:32Bobby Lee?

  Wait, you, you must have wise tales. Wives tales. Wives tales, wives tales, right?

• 13:38Andrew Santino?

  Wise wives tales.

• 13:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:41Andrew Santino?

  What, you mean, we have anything like that? Yeah, it's like, uh, um...

• 13:47Andrew Santino?

  I'm trying to think of some white ones. What are the white ones? Well, it's like, you know, if, you know, you...

• 13:50Bobby Lee?

  My dad said, you know, if you watch TV too close,

• 13:54Andrew Santino?

  You go...

• 13:54Bobby Lee?

  Grandpa gonna die. Stuff like that. You know what I mean? I mean, like, grandpa died already.

• 13:59Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah, you know, they say if you masturbate too much, you get hairy hands.

• 14:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's one, that's a wise tale.

• 14:03Andrew Santino?

  Hair would grow on your hands.

• 14:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's a wise tale, yeah. Do, the Philippines have wives tales?

• 14:07Andrew Santino?

  Like that, like something like a superstitious thing that's not true. Like if you wipe blood on your face after your first period.

• 14:12Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 14:13Andrew Santino?

  You won't get acne, something like that.

• 14:14Speaker 06

  Or like, if you watch, if you've seen like a naked body or like porn, then you will have like a, like a big, like bump on your eye.

• 14:23Andrew Santino?

  Oh, a sty.

• 14:25Speaker 06

  A sty.

• 14:26Andrew Santino?

  Yes, you get a sty in your eye from porn.

• 14:28Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 14:30Bobby Lee?

  You get a cataract? You get a cataract? Wow. Never heard that before.

• 14:35Andrew Santino?

  Okay, look at this one. Some of the Filipino culture, go up. Some of the Filipino culture, superstitions, avoiding sweeping at night. Don't sweep. Right? What is that? Don't sweep.

• 14:43Bobby Lee?

  What does sweeping at night do?

• 14:45Speaker 06

  I think.

• 14:46Bobby Lee?

  Let her guess. That's fun. Sweeping at night, what is that?

• 14:50Speaker 06

  Sweeping at night?

• 14:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:52Speaker 06

  I think it's just to, something with ghosts or like.

• 14:55Bobby Lee?

  Okay, look at that. Does she have it right?

• 14:57Andrew Santino?

  It's a sweeping at night sweeps away good fortune and attracts bad luck.

• 14:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good.

• 15:00Andrew Santino?

  Don't look at the screen.

• 15:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:01Andrew Santino?

  What about cutting your nails at night? Why can't you do that? Just trim your nails.

• 15:05Speaker 06

  It will not grow back.

• 15:07Andrew Santino?

  No, but that makes more sense.

• 15:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:09Andrew Santino?

  Evil spirits. Don't ever sleep with wet hair in the Philippines.

• 15:12Speaker 06

  Oh, because you will have white hair.

• 15:14Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 15:14Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow, that was fast. What does it say?

• 15:17Andrew Santino?

  It says to go blind.

• 15:20Speaker 06

  That's not true. That's not true.

• 15:22Andrew Santino?

  Hold on.

• 15:23Speaker 06

  No, that's not true.

• 15:25Bobby Lee?

  This is amazing.

• 15:26Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 15:26Bobby Lee?

  Maybe different islands have different things. I don't know.

• 15:28Andrew Santino?

  All right, this says not going home right after a wake. Like after you, after you go to.

• 15:32Speaker 06

  Oh, because the spirit will follow you.

• 15:34Andrew Santino?

  That's literally what it says.

• 15:34Bobby Lee?

  Bingo. Itchy palms, itchy palms.

• 15:37Andrew Santino?

  Itchy palms.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  You can do pag pag to get rid of it.

• 15:39Andrew Santino?

  Oh, if you do a pag pag.

• 15:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:41Andrew Santino?

  Cleansing ritual.

• 15:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 15:42Andrew Santino?

  Didn't we do a pag pag on this show?

• 15:44Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 15:44Andrew Santino?

  We love Filipinos, by the way, for the record. They're our favorite people. How about not taking a home, Nick, not taking food home from away? So after a funeral, you don't take food home, right?

• 15:54Speaker 06

  I take food home.

• 15:55Bobby Lee?

  Okay, well, yeah, okay. Itchy palms.

• 15:57Andrew Santino?

  What about itchy palms?

• 15:59Speaker 06

  Um, itchy palms?

• 16:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, when your hands are itchy, inside your hand.

• 16:04Speaker 06

  You'll die.

• 16:05Andrew Santino?

  Sure. This just says it's a sign of good luck to have itchy palms.

• 16:09Bobby Lee?

  Two more. Biting your tongue.

• 16:11Speaker 06

  Biting, if you said like a, oh, if someone's talking shit about you.

• 16:15Andrew Santino?

  Damn, that's.

• 16:16Bobby Lee?

  Is that true?

• 16:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 16:17Bobby Lee?

  Fuck, yeah, dude.

• 16:18Andrew Santino?

  What about the tabi tabi po?

• 16:20Speaker 06

  Oh, that's, I told you about this. Like when you're like going through like a quiet area or like a big tree, you have to say tabi tabi po or else like the, the mythical creatures.

• 16:32Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait. You've never fucking said this before. What are you talking about? Like we.

• 16:36Speaker 06

  I said that before during like a Halloween.

• 16:38Bobby Lee?

  I've never heard you say tabi tabi po before. But give me, give me an example. Give me an example. Give me an example.

• 16:44Speaker 06

  I told you this before.

• 16:45Bobby Lee?

  It's Halloween. We're trick or treating. You know what I mean? I'm dressed up as like a fat minion.

• 16:50Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 16:51Bobby Lee?

  And you're a what?

• 16:52Speaker 06

  Uh, soap.

• 16:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay, we're in the forest. We're lost.

• 16:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 16:56Bobby Lee?

  Where does this tabi tabi po?

• 16:58Speaker 06

  Okay, so like when, when you're, when there's like a big tree.

• 17:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, we're walking by a big tree, okay.

• 17:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's quiet. And you're going through.

• 17:05Bobby Lee?

  Redwood, redwood.

• 17:06Speaker 06

  Yeah, you're going through it. You have to say tabi tabi po.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  Tabi tabi po, tabi tabi po.

• 17:12Bobby Lee?

  Tabi tabi po. But if we don't, what happens?

• 17:15Speaker 06

  Then, like, something bad will happen.

• 17:17Bobby Lee?

  They made a movie, guys.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Tabi tabi po.

• 17:20Bobby Lee?

  Tabi tabi, tabi tabi po. They're going to. Go back to the list. Go back to the list. There's one more.

• 17:24Andrew Santino?

  Wait a minute, so you're going, by the way.

• 17:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:26Andrew Santino?

  Also, soap?

• 17:29Andrew Santino?

  Your soap?

• 17:30Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 17:31Speaker 05

  Mythical themes.

• 17:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you think you're soap?

• 17:33Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 17:33Andrew Santino?

  Soap. Okay.

• 17:35Bobby Lee?

  Jumping at midnight.

• 17:36Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah, what about jumping in the middle of the, at midnight?

• 17:39Speaker 06

  It's just for, um, good luck?

• 17:41Andrew Santino?

  Grow taller in the new year.

• 17:43Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 17:43Andrew Santino?

  Can you wear red? In the Philippines, do people wear red?

• 17:47Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 17:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, alright.

• 17:49Andrew Santino?

  It says it's gonna increase your chance of being struck by lightning.

• 17:51Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 17:52Andrew Santino?

  Don't look. What is a sukob? Sukob?

• 17:56Bobby Lee?

  Sukob.

• 17:56Andrew Santino?

  Sukob?

• 17:57Bobby Lee?

  Sukob.

• 17:57Andrew Santino?

  S U K O B, sukob.

• 17:59Speaker 06

  I don't know, that's not.

• 18:00Bobby Lee?

  Maybe a little tree. There's a little tree you walk by. Sukob, sukob, yeah.

• 18:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, what about kap dig sag ya? You know that, twin bananas.

• 18:07Speaker 06

  Kap dig na sagging.

• 18:08Andrew Santino?

  Kap dig na sagging.

• 18:10Speaker 06

  Twin bananas. Yeah.

• 18:12Andrew Santino?

  If, if a woman consumes a twin banana, she'll have twins?

• 18:16Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 18:16Bobby Lee?

  Hmm, that's interesting.

• 18:18Andrew Santino?

  What about scattering coins in a new house? When you move into a house, you scatter change everywhere?

• 18:23Speaker 06

  No, but we bring rice and salt.

• 18:26Bobby Lee?

  Well, okay, okay, so.

• 18:28Andrew Santino?

  Whenever somebody's like, these stereotypes aren't real. You're like, well, they, they are.

• 18:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:33Andrew Santino?

  It's very funny.

• 18:33Bobby Lee?

  You bring salt and rice to what?

• 18:35Andrew Santino?

  Salt the floor and rice the floor, right?

• 18:37Speaker 06

  No, you just put the rice, like, somewhere and then put salt around it. It's like for good fortune, I like the spirits, bad spirits don't come.

• 18:47Bobby Lee?

  Could I put carpaccio on there too and just eat it afterwards?

• 18:49Speaker 06

  No, you can't eat it!

• 18:51Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 18:52Andrew Santino?

  The Italians are like, when we buy a new house, we put down mortadella on the floor.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  We do a little chant called Hungy Hungy Hippos.

• 19:02Bobby Lee?

  Wow, it's so strange.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Avoid mirrors opposite the front door. You can't have a mirror directly across from the front door. That's bad luck. Covering mirrors is bad luck in Filipino culture, it says. Placing a chick on a coffin. Like a baby chicken on a coffin?

• 19:18Speaker 05

  That's that.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  I don't know. Let's cut it out. You know what, fancy? Spain has a lot of weird superstitions. I'm sure you guys have just as many weirdo ones. You know Spain's got some stupid ones.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  Oh, the grapes at midnight. Remember we did that one time? It's the dumbest shit on earth.

• 19:33Speaker 05

  That is not superstitious.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're supposed to wish you good. You're supposed to have, then you have good luck.

• 19:37Speaker 05

  That's not fun.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  No hats on the bed in Spain considered bad luck to put a hat on your bed.

• 19:43Bobby Lee?

  Well, that was in the movie Drugstore Cowboy.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  Drugstore June?

• 19:47Bobby Lee?

  No, Drugstore. You ever see Drugstore Cowboy?

• 19:50Speaker 02

  No, I've seen Rotten.

• 19:51Bobby Lee?

  Gus Van Sand directed it with Matt Dillon. And there was a scene where they steal drugs from pharmacies.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 19:58Bobby Lee?

  And.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  It's just like Drugstore June.

• 20:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And Matt Dillon, one of the, I think Heather Graham sticks a fucking hat on the bed. And then Matt Dillon goes all ape shit because now they're gonna have like six weeks of bad luck.

• 20:13Speaker 05

  Whoa.

• 20:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And it, I went to Buckwild last night.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  You went to the strip club Buckwild?

• 20:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Why'd you do that, bud?

• 20:22Bobby Lee?

  Because the, um, the club that I played, um, they knew the, um, they knew the manager.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  I bet they did.

• 20:27Bobby Lee?

  And a Samoan guy showed up and he drove me an hour, like 45 minutes outside of the city. And I went to Buckwild and, um, I drove 45 minutes back really quickly after that.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  How long were you there?

• 20:38Bobby Lee?

  Five, five hours.

• 20:43Bobby Lee?

  Shopify. Oh, boy. What would we do without Shopify, Andrew?

• 20:46Speaker 02

  I don't even know. We wouldn't have an online business. I can tell you that.

• 20:49Bobby Lee?

  We'd be drowning. I'll tell you that right now.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  Nobody does selling better than Shopify.

• 20:51Bobby Lee?

  Nobody!

• 20:52Speaker 02

  There isn't anybody out there that doesn't. They're home of the number one checkout on the planet. If you're selling something, right? Like Skims, ALO, Allbirds, you know all these companies? They have great products, sure. But how do they get to you if you shop online? Shopify is the one that makes that go smoothly.

• 21:07Bobby Lee?

  And the not so secret secret with Shop Pay that boosts conversions up to 50%.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  That's way less carts are going abandoned and way more sales going.

• 21:16Bobby Lee?

  So if you're into growing your business.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  Your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever, whenever your customers are scrolling and strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more, sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business to get the same checkout that Allbirds, Rothy's, Skims, all of these companies uses.

• 21:32Bobby Lee?

  Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/badfriends, all lowercase.

• 21:38Speaker 02

  Go to Shopify.com/badfriends to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com/badfriends.

• 21:41Bobby Lee?

  Bad Friends. ShipStation. We love to ship stuff to you. And we use ShipStation because we want the best.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  That's exactly right.

• 21:50Bobby Lee?

  For our fans.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  ShipStation grows with your business no matter how big it ends up getting. By the way, I had a story that I was told about a small business, a guy that was shipping stuff from his garage. He was doing like old records, throwback records. He was doing them from the comfort of his own garage, and his business grew so much, he needed bigger help, and guess what? ShipStation was there the entire time from the very beginning till right now. Pretty impressive, pretty cool.

• 22:15Bobby Lee?

  Save hours and money every month by shipping from all your stores with one login. Automating repetitive tasks and finding the best rates among all the global carriers.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  The best part is you don't have to upgrade, right? It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts up to 88% off UPS, DHL Express, and USPS rates, and up to 90% off FedEx rates. That's incredible. Over 130,000 companies have grown their e-commerce business with ShipStation, and 98% of companies that stick with ShipStation for a year become customers for life. Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today.

• 22:50Bobby Lee?

  Go to ShipStation.com and use code BADFRIENDS to sign up for your free trial. That's ShipStation.com code BADFRIENDS.

• 22:58Speaker 00

  Life is all about making decisions. Sometimes you make questionable ones, like buying a new TV that's too big for the wall because the electronics store employee was a little too good at their job. Then, sometimes you make great ones, like protecting your home and auto with Progressive. You get customized coverage options, so you can be sure you have the right coverage. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers. Not available in all states.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  What have you been doing? You went to Hawaii?

• 23:29Speaker 06

  Yeah, and I've been surfing. That's why I'm like really down.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  You're really, yeah, you are really down.

• 23:34Bobby Lee?

  Are you getting good?

• 23:35Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 23:36Speaker 02

  This is what Trump was talking about. They come here, they surf all day. They don't do anything anymore. They're surfers.

• 23:43Bobby Lee?

  Are you scared? You must be scared.

• 23:45Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  Ice is coming.

• 23:47Speaker 06

  But then they're also saying like even with visas, people are getting deported.

• 23:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:52Speaker 02

  What island did you go to in Hawaii?

• 23:54Speaker 06

  Oahu.

• 23:55Speaker 02

  Oahu?

• 23:56Bobby Lee?

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  You guys like that?

• 23:58Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:59Bobby Lee?

  Well, they only have a pla- they they own a place out there.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  I know.

• 24:01Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  I know.

• 24:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:03Bobby Lee?

  It's fun.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  You surfed all day and then you ate ate, uh, poke?

• 24:07Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  All day. That's all you do, right?

• 24:10Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:10Speaker 02

  Poke.

• 24:10Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna go in a couple of months. I'm gonna show Hawaii Theater. I'm gonna do a show there.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  You're doing a stand-up show?

• 24:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:16Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 24:16Bobby Lee?

  Come out. It'll be fun.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  No, thank you.

• 24:18Bobby Lee?

  Why? I I I you know what's so funny? I drive to your fucking shows and do guest spots.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz they're great.

• 24:27Bobby Lee?

  I know, but I don't think you would ever go to a different city for me.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Of course I would. That's silly.

• 24:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, why not Hawaii? Neil Brennan's gonna go.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Well, there you go. You got a white.

• 24:35Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I I want several whites.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  He's the number one white. Neil Brennan?

• 24:39Bobby Lee?

  What is that? Oh, that's it.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Friday, June 6th.

• 24:41Bobby Lee?

  Yep, June 6th, come. Uh-oh, who's here?

• 24:46Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 24:48Bobby Lee?

  I mean, you know who he is. Crazy.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Oh, there it is.

• 24:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they're crazy face.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  There it is. There's Crazy Boy.

• 24:52Bobby Lee?

  He's crazy.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  There comes nutso.

• 24:54Bobby Lee?

  He's nuts.

• 24:55Speaker 06

  Who is it?

• 24:55Bobby Lee?

  You'll know.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  You'll know when you see you know you can tell. You can't tell from the whistle? That's yeah.

• 25:00Bobby Lee?

  Corporate comedy's coming. Corporate comedy is coming to town, coming to town, A G T. You ever see America's Got Talent?

• 25:12Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  You ever seen America's Got Talent?

• 25:14Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  Do you like that show?

• 25:15Bobby Lee?

  You like that show?

• 25:16Speaker 06

  It's okay.

• 25:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know. Me too. See that. You fucking freak, get in here.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  That's his bait whistle. Whoa.

• 25:25Bobby Lee?

  Whoa.

• 25:29Speaker 05

  You're safe. You're safe.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  You're safe here.

• 25:31Bobby Lee?

  Whoa, Howie Kambanga Magondo.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  Please, sit down. Please, sit down, Howie. Guys, Howie Mandel.

• 25:37Bobby Lee?

  Howie Mandel's here, everybody, ladies and gentlemen. Howie Mandel. Yay.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  We love Howie. Howie.

• 25:44Bobby Lee?

  You've met Jewel him before, right?

• 25:46Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 25:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  She's the best.

• 25:48Bobby Lee?

  Are those Rick Owens? What are you wearing there? What are you talking about? Your shoes. Skechers.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  I I these are Snoop Dogg's Skechers.

• 25:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really nice.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  I have a Skechers. I'm an ambassador for Skechers.

• 26:00Bobby Lee?

  Why are you laughing at that? What's this a weird thing to say?

• 26:03Speaker 02

  You know what's great about Snoop Dogg?

• 26:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  I think he's I think the best part about Snoop is he's really reserved himself. He doesn't do too Right, he well, he says, he's no.

• 26:11Bobby Lee?

  He's like Kevin Hart in that way. He's like Kevin Hart in that way.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  Says no a lot. Yeah, he really does. Like Snoop, like, can you name any products that Snoop's attached to or that anything he's doing?

• 26:19Bobby Lee?

  Let me think. Not or eh eh not.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Skechers.

• 26:23Bobby Lee?

  Skechers.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  These are these are actually, these are, these are called Skechers and they're slip-ins because you don't even need, the laces are nothing. You slip in, you slip out. We're doing ads for Skechers now. I'm doing ads. Howie.

• 26:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  I do.

• 26:35Bobby Lee?

  Howie.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  Howie Mandel is here, one of our favorite people. Ladies and gentlemen. And Howie's brought his family. That's your son?

• 26:41Bobby Lee?

  Your whole family.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  And I've met you before? No? I don't think so. Who else is there? Is it your daughter? There. No, I didn't bring my daughter. Who did you bring, Alex?

• 26:51Bobby Lee?

  Your wife.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  Alex, who did you bring?

• 26:53Bobby Lee?

  Your girlfriend? Are you seeing her? Hmm.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  You guys are just friends? Yeah. How old are you? Oh, dude. He's thirty five.

• 27:02Bobby Lee?

  Alex, are you married?

• 27:04Speaker 02

  No. Is she married? I live vicariously through my son on Instagram.

• 27:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you do?

• 27:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's got a model rescue service. I've talked about this before.

• 27:13Bobby Lee?

  I mean, what do you have to do?

• 27:14Speaker 02

  Really nice. What he, what he does is he takes in like wounded models and nurses them back to health.

• 27:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  And once he feels that they're able to talk about commitment, he kind of just.

• 27:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Sends them back.

• 27:29Bobby Lee?

  Andrew, Andrew, Howie Mandel masturbating must be such an ordeal. He's just, okay, I got it. And I got that. I won't. Plastics and then, okay.

• 27:41Bobby Lee?

  Okay, um, put the wall up and.

• 27:43Speaker 02

  I mean, what the fuck, dude? Yeah, I use a glorious. on myself.

• 27:47Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  I have to reach around the wall.

• 27:49Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  I don't want to get any.

• 27:51Bobby Lee?

  Do you still, old man, do you still masturbate?

• 27:54Speaker 02

  This is like a bad episode of, of, uh.

• 27:57Andrew Santino?

  Of Bad Friends?

• 27:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  Old man, do you still?

• 28:01Andrew Santino?

  Old man.

• 28:02Bobby Lee?

  Like, Howie, do you, do you still or no?

• 28:04Speaker 02

  I, I'm, I'm doing, that's why I got my legs crossed right?

• 28:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see, I see.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do.

• 28:09Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  I do. Son, I still masturbate. Are you glad you showed up with me?

• 28:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:16Speaker 02

  Can you give him a play by play? Pardon me?

• 28:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, she wants to know more.

• 28:19Bobby Lee?

  I mean, do you watch things, Howie, or do you, uh?

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I watch videos of people washing their hands.

• 28:27Bobby Lee?

  Very good, very good.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  That good?

• 28:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that was really good.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  Did it bother you that I brought a whistle?

• 28:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no.

• 28:30Andrew Santino?

  I like the whistle.

• 28:31Bobby Lee?

  I like the whistle.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  I love the whistle.

• 28:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  The whistle's my new thing. I'm gonna make that my thing.

• 28:35Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  You're the guy, because there's so many, there's so many people out there.

• 28:39Andrew Santino?

  Look at her face, how concerned Jules is.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  Why, why are you concerned, what are you concerned about?

• 28:43Andrew Santino?

  Well, because women usually have practical uses for whistles.

• 28:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 28:45Speaker 06

  Yeah, I just don't understand.

• 28:47Andrew Santino?

  It's hard for a man to.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  It's a whistle.

• 28:49Speaker 06

  Well, what do you do?

• 28:52Speaker 02

  You blow it. You blow?

• 28:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:58Speaker 02

  Now, do you understand?

• 29:00Speaker 06

  No.

• 29:00Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  What do you mean, why do you look like you're in pain?

• 29:03Speaker 06

  I don't know.

• 29:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  You're really enjoying me.

• 29:07Bobby Lee?

  That's her, no, she's always like that, that's her disposition. I live with her.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  Really?

• 29:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  I know you live with her, I met her at your house.

• 29:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  But, but the thing is that you have a very pained look on your face, like there's a problem.

• 29:16Speaker 06

  That's my normal face.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  Well, it isn't normal, I'm telling you, it's not normal.

• 29:21Bobby Lee?

  Julia, is there like a, uh, Filipinos got talent?

• 29:26Speaker 02

  No, but we have a lot of Filipinos on the show who have talent.

• 29:30Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  They do, the, the guy that can sing with two voices.

• 29:32Bobby Lee?

  That's, that guy's the best, what, wait, what's his first name?

• 29:34Speaker 06

  Marcelo?

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Marcelo.

• 29:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Who he is?

• 29:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, I love him.

• 29:37Andrew Santino?

  Hernandez from SNL?

• 29:39Bobby Lee?

  No, he does.

• 29:39Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 29:40Bobby Lee?

  Dude, he is the most talented singer you've ever heard in your life. He does deep voices and then he has a, like, angelic voice on top of it, that dude.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  But there's two voices, like, he does a duet with himself.

• 29:50Bobby Lee?

  Dude, he will fuck you up, this guy.

• 29:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:52Bobby Lee?

  The greatest singer.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  Put it on and, and the.

• 29:54Bobby Lee?

  Kills Freddie Mercury, kills anybody.

• 29:56Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 29:57Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean wow? I'm telling you right now, the Philippines rule.

• 30:00Andrew Santino?

  That's a bold claim.

• 30:01Bobby Lee?

  They'll play some. All right, there we go, just do the first one.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  You see how zans are on the table? This is how he jerks off.

• 30:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  He sings to himself like a pretty girl.

• 30:15Bobby Lee?

  It's the same guy. That's the same guy. These are your people. Why are you laughing?

• 30:19Speaker 06

  It's good.

• 30:21Bobby Lee?

  That's the... What? Oh, you're not impressed?

• 30:25Speaker 05

  I think Andrew can do it.

• 30:26Bobby Lee?

  You could do it?

• 30:26Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:27Bobby Lee?

  Try it, Ann. From where you're from, they have leprechauns jumping up and down with a fucking rainbow and you think that's not good?

• 30:32Andrew Santino?

  It's not good.

• 30:33Bobby Lee?

  Are you kidding me? Can you do better?

• 30:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:36Bobby Lee?

  Do it then. I'm gonna sing to them. There's no way. Give me the lyrics, dude. Here we go. We're all gonna sing it.

• 30:42Andrew Santino?

  Give me the lyrics.

• 30:42Bobby Lee?

  Well, are you doing the female part?

• 30:44Andrew Santino?

  Give me the lyrics, dude.

• 30:47Bobby Lee?

  I got it. I'm tone.

• 30:52Bobby Lee?

  Oh, here we go.

• 30:53Andrew Santino?

  There it is.

• 30:53Bobby Lee?

  Here we go. Zooming real good. Alright. What the fuck?

• 30:57Andrew Santino?

  Talented.

• 30:59Bobby Lee?

  Pale as old as time. Right? Yeah. True as it can be. Barely even friends. Then somebody bends. Unexpectedly. Go ahead.

• 31:20Andrew Santino?

  Just a little change.

• 31:22Bobby Lee?

  You can't... No, no! Try to do the girl.

• 31:23Andrew Santino?

  Small two... That is the girl.

• 31:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. What are you doing? You're not even in tune.

• 31:27Andrew Santino?

  Oh!

• 31:28Bobby Lee?

  You're not even in tune, dude.

• 31:30Andrew Santino?

  Your perception...

• 31:30Bobby Lee?

  You're playing the Russian boxer.

• 31:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 31:33Bobby Lee?

  I didn't realize.

• 31:34Andrew Santino?

  Women can't sound that way?

• 31:35Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I know. Oh, dude, yeah, you're right. They can.

• 31:38Andrew Santino?

  See you later, man.

• 31:39Bobby Lee?

  You're right.

• 31:39Andrew Santino?

  Way to go, guys.

• 31:40Bobby Lee?

  See what you did.

• 31:41Andrew Santino?

  Way to put yourself in a corner.

• 31:42Bobby Lee?

  The worst singer here is you. Can you sing? Sing one of them. Sing one line.

• 31:46Speaker 06

  My god!

• 31:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, here we go. Here we go.

• 31:50Speaker 06

  Just a little change.

• 31:53Andrew Santino?

  Not bad.

• 31:55Bobby Lee?

  Horrible.

• 31:56Andrew Santino?

  It's not bad.

• 31:57Bobby Lee?

  It's horrible. It's not bad. I'm a professional talent judge. That sucks.

• 32:00Speaker 06

  But can you sing?

• 32:02Andrew Santino?

  Thank you, Rudy.

• 32:03Bobby Lee?

  No, I can judge it. Yeah, what gives you the right, however, whenever I'm watching that show, what gives you the right to go, "Oh, that's good singing"?

• 32:10Speaker 02

  I don't say-

• 32:10Bobby Lee?

  You're a comedian!

• 32:11Speaker 02

  I say I like it. Maybe it's not everybody's taste. I like it. You just heard her. I don't like it. I don't like it.

• 32:20Bobby Lee?

  I see how that works.

• 32:21Speaker 02

  I'm telling you I don't like it.

• 32:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  The other judges, two people in the room, you guys like it.

• 32:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:25Speaker 02

  You're, and I'm being honest with you, and that this is not television and it's not network, you sing like shit.

• 32:31Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god.

• 32:32Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god.

• 32:33Andrew Santino?

  It's gonna break her heart. That's kinda a daughter to me, dude.

• 32:34Bobby Lee?

  What? Don't cry, Jules. Don't cry.

• 32:37Speaker 06

  No, I know.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  You do. You sing like shit, to be honest with you. And I don't want you, because I care about you, I don't want you to think you're good and then go out into the world and be disappointed. And I feel like I'm doing a service.

• 32:50Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm. How many years you been on that show?

• 32:52Speaker 02

  Sixteen.

• 32:53Andrew Santino?

  It's time to get off.

• 32:57Bobby Lee?

  I've wanted to say that, but thank you for saying it.

• 32:59Andrew Santino?

  Dad, it's time to wrap it up.

• 33:00Bobby Lee?

  It's a long-

• 33:00Andrew Santino?

  Alex, what do you think?

• 33:01Speaker 02

  How do you feel?

• 33:02Andrew Santino?

  Does he need to wrap it up? Do you want dad to get off the show and get back home to taking care of you?

• 33:07Speaker 02

  Taking care of him?

• 33:08Andrew Santino?

  Well, he's thirty-five. He's obviously stunted. He brought in a beautiful woman that he's buddies with.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, but he's moving out in the next couple of weeks. We are so excited.

• 33:15Andrew Santino?

  You still live at home? No. Where do you live? Here. You live in LA? Santa Monica. Beautiful. I wanna live on the west side.

• 33:22Speaker 02

  Ask me where I live.

• 33:23Andrew Santino?

  I know where you live.

• 33:24Speaker 02

  Santa Monica.

• 33:26Bobby Lee?

  But you're a great father. You've been a great father.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  I have been a great father.

• 33:29Bobby Lee?

  And I know a little bit about you. Been friends for a while.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, we've been friends for a long time. I'm a wonderful-

• 33:34Bobby Lee?

  You're such a nice guy.

• 33:35Andrew Santino?

  You're a great guy.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  No, can we just keep this going?

• 33:37Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  I'm a wonderful-

• 33:38Bobby Lee?

  You really are.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  And how fucking lucky are you guys and you to have me on this episode?

• 33:43Andrew Santino?

  Huge.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  This is-

• 33:45Andrew Santino?

  Huge. Huge.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  No, what are you doing?

• 33:49Andrew Santino?

  I mean, the numbers will go down, but it's not-

• 33:50Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  Huge.

• 33:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's huge.

• 33:52Bobby Lee?

  Really huge.

• 33:52Andrew Santino?

  Not about the numbers. It's about the soul.

• 33:54Bobby Lee?

  Well, it's like, you know, guy, check this out. You know, there's some arthouse movies that no one watches, but-

• 34:01Speaker 02

  This is- You know what I mean? This is an arthouse episode.

• 34:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you know, like, there's a new movie, Companion. No one saw it, but people love it.

• 34:07Andrew Santino?

  People love it.

• 34:08Bobby Lee?

  Like, the critics. So that's good.

• 34:10Speaker 02

  So, you know, that's all-

• 34:11Bobby Lee?

  We're gonna lose money on YouTube.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  It's not about making money. It's about doing quality stuff. And this is quality. This feels like quality. This is if, you've done a bunch of these episodes of this one. How do you feel about this one versus some of the other episodes that you've been a part of?

• 34:25Bobby Lee?

  Be completely honest.

• 34:26Speaker 06

  Well, when they said that someone from, um, AGT was coming, I thought it was Simon Cowell.

• 34:36Speaker 02

  What are you saying?

• 34:38Speaker 06

  I just thought that-

• 34:39Speaker 02

  And then what you're trying to say is you were ready for Simon Cowell and then when I showed up, you went, "Fuck, this is like a surprise." They went, they lowballed me.

• 34:48Bobby Lee?

  Well, he goes, "Simon, Heidi."

• 34:50Andrew Santino?

  Who's on the show?

• 34:51Speaker 02

  Heidi's not on it anymore.

• 34:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but still Heidi, still.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  It's Mel B.

• 34:54Bobby Lee?

  Mel B.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  And then Sofia Vergara.

• 34:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and then, are you four, I mean, what are you, where are you in the ranking?

• 35:01Andrew Santino?

  Look at all the people that have come and gone in your ten-

• 35:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, and you're still there.

• 35:03Andrew Santino?

  You're still there.

• 35:04Bobby Lee?

  I replaced, you know who I replaced?

• 35:05Andrew Santino?

  You're the Kenan Thompson of it.

• 35:06Bobby Lee?

  Let me guess, I know, um, Howard Stern.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  No.

• 35:09Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 35:09Speaker 02

  I was there with Howard Stern. I replaced David Hasselhoff.

• 35:13Andrew Santino?

  The Hoff?

• 35:14Bobby Lee?

  Rest in peace.

• 35:14Andrew Santino?

  After the cheeseburger incident, huh?

• 35:16Speaker 02

  That's why, that's why the nickname for our show is Jew Watch.

• 35:23Andrew Santino?

  Regis, Sam Donnelly, now I don't know who that is.

• 35:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  No, those aren't judges, that's our executive producer.

• 35:30Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  Regis was the, was the first host.

• 35:33Andrew Santino?

  He was?

• 35:33Speaker 02

  He was the first host, then he was followed by, um, Jerry Springer, became the host.

• 35:38Andrew Santino?

  Who's Jason Raff?

• 35:40Speaker 02

  He was executive producer, and then Nick Cannon became the host.

• 35:44Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  And then-

• 35:45Bobby Lee?

  I think the big black guy, that's, he's my favorite.

• 35:46Andrew Santino?

  Terry Crews.

• 35:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I like him, he's my favorite.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  He likes to be called what you just called him.

• 35:50Bobby Lee?

  Is he not a big black guy?

• 35:51Speaker 02

  He is.

• 35:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good.

• 35:53Speaker 02

  But he likes his name.

• 35:54Bobby Lee?

  And if somebody, if I was on it, they would have that little fat little cream guy.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  You don't know him from White Chicks?

• 35:57Bobby Lee?

  No, I've never met him.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  He was in White Chicks.

• 36:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:02Andrew Santino?

  So who's on still now? You?

• 36:03Speaker 02

  Me.

• 36:04Andrew Santino?

  Simon.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  Simon.

• 36:05Bobby Lee?

  Cardi B.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  That's Mel B. You can't mix Mel and Cardi up.

• 36:11Andrew Santino?

  Cardi would be a good get. So you, Simon, Mel B.

• 36:14Speaker 02

  And Sofia Vergara.

• 36:15Andrew Santino?

  Sofia Vergara.

• 36:16Speaker 02

  And?

• 36:17Andrew Santino?

  And?

• 36:17Speaker 02

  No, that's it.

• 36:18Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's it.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Terry Crews is the host.

• 36:20Andrew Santino?

  Terry's always been the host, right, Nick was-

• 36:21Speaker 02

  No, he hasn't, before him was, and then it was Tyra Banks.

• 36:25Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 36:26Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 36:26Bobby Lee?

  Howie, can you look at Simon, just be real, and just look at him, lock eyes with him, and go, "Enough of that."

• 36:35Andrew Santino?

  What is that?

• 36:37Andrew Santino?

  What does that mean?

• 36:37Bobby Lee?

  Enough of that, you know?

• 36:40Speaker 02

  That looks, it's amazing what you're able to do, you're like, uh, Korean Jim Carrey.

• 36:44Bobby Lee?

  Hello, I'm Simon Cowell.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  Wow. If, if people just tuned in now and didn't know they were watching this, if they're watching on YouTube, they would, that's uncanny how, cause I sit with them daily.

• 36:53Bobby Lee?

  There we go, look at, look at.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  But do that and then look at that. Put it side by side. I know, I got it.

• 37:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, we know how old you are, dude.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  I'm old.

• 37:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you look good. And no, and you've had none, no face work.

• 37:07Speaker 02

  I have no face work.

• 37:08Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  I've, I had.

• 37:10Bobby Lee?

  Because we like natural beings.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:12Bobby Lee?

  Right, look at.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  I had.

• 37:14Bobby Lee?

  Believe it or not, no face work.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  I had testicular liposuction, you know? I had testicular liposuction.

• 37:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:21Andrew Santino?

  You got, you really got him sucked?

• 37:23Speaker 02

  I try. I try, I want to. I'm, I'm old, I'm gonna be 70 this year.

• 37:32Andrew Santino?

  That's incredible.

• 37:33Bobby Lee?

  That's incredible.

• 37:33Andrew Santino?

  What's up for the 70th birthday? Can I ask you also those pants? Are those USPS pants?

• 37:40Andrew Santino?

  I swear to God, the woman that delivers my mail, I wear the exact same fucking pants. I'm not even kidding.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  I'm wearing ladies mail pants?

• 37:46Andrew Santino?

  Ladies mail pants.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  M A I L. I love what you did.

• 37:51Andrew Santino?

  There she is, there's my girl, that's from the neighborhood.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  Oh my God, I am wearing mail.

• 37:55Bobby Lee?

  Alex, Alex, I want to say about your dad, though.

• 37:58Andrew Santino?

  One of the greatest guys to ever live.

• 37:59Bobby Lee?

  But he's also fashionable.

• 38:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he is very fashionable.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Am I fashionable?

• 38:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:03Andrew Santino?

  Always.

• 38:04Bobby Lee?

  Why do you dress all Midwest like?

• 38:06Speaker 02

  Why do I?

• 38:06Bobby Lee?

  You, yeah. I mean, he's just like standard, like, you know, solid color, solid color. He's very like, you know, um, elect.

• 38:15Andrew Santino?

  Funky.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  Well, he dresses, if you look at my son, and I know he's off camera, but if you look at him, he's dressed exactly like my wife. I see, I see.

• 38:23Andrew Santino?

  Keep it in the family.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what he does.

• 38:25Bobby Lee?

  Howie?

• 38:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 38:26Bobby Lee?

  So if, I've never seen you buzz somebody like, it's not good, there's an X buzz.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  No, I do it a lot.

• 38:32Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 38:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, probably more than anybody.

• 38:34Bobby Lee?

  Like if I went up there?

• 38:35Speaker 02

  You don't watch the show.

• 38:36Bobby Lee?

  Like if I went up there?

• 38:36Speaker 02

  You really watch the show?

• 38:37Bobby Lee?

  Like if I went up there and like no music and I was just like.

• 38:44Speaker 02

  Buzz? You know who you just did? No, I won't buzz because there's a, you, find this. Urien Retriever. Urien Retriever. It's why you are. That was embarrassing. Urien Retriever. Dancing. Okay. Maybe she does it. This is what you just reminded me of.

• 39:01Bobby Lee?

  Hmm. Did she make it?

• 39:03Speaker 02

  No, but it's so fucking funny. Wait, this is what you just looked like? When she was dancing. Go to, go to the dancing. Go to the dancing. Tell me this is not Bobby Lee.

• 39:21Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 39:22Bobby Lee?

  That's exactly what you just said.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  That's what I just did.

• 39:24Bobby Lee?

  That was Bobby Lee.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  Dude, that's, yeah. Oh, oh, Simon. Oh, really?

• 39:29Bobby Lee?

  I buzzed your face, Simon.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  I know, good dancing.

• 39:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  Look at it. Isn't that you?

• 39:33Bobby Lee?

  It's incredible.

• 39:34Speaker 02

  So why don't you come on and do it? You can make a...

• 39:40Speaker 02

  And, and at that season.

• 39:42Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 39:43Speaker 02

  LeAnn Huff was there. Who is a dance expert and, and put her through.

• 39:47Bobby Lee?

  What does the big black guy like?

• 39:51Andrew Santino?

  I think this is why America's in debt. This is why we're in the hole, man.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Why?

• 39:56Andrew Santino?

  Because of Urien. What is, what is Urien? I didn't understand. Her name is?

• 40:01Speaker 02

  Urien Retriever.

• 40:03Andrew Santino?

  I, okay. Her name is Urien Retriever? I thought that was an animal. I swear to God, I thought it was Urien.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  Golden Retriever. Is an animal.

• 40:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but I mean.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  Urien.

• 40:14Andrew Santino?

  Urien is her name. Oh, oh, no, she looks very different there.

• 40:17Bobby Lee?

  They're right, yeah.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  There she is.

• 40:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  But she's not, you're looking at shots of her not dancing.

• 40:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I like.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  When she dances.

• 40:22Andrew Santino?

  I like the dance.

• 40:23Bobby Lee?

  I think she's cute.

• 40:25Andrew Santino?

  Take it away.

• 40:25Speaker 02

  You should have her on the show.

• 40:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  She lives here.

• 40:28Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 40:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, single, you think? Yes, I know she is.

• 40:31Andrew Santino?

  Great. You keep up with everyone who's ever contested on the show, I've heard.

• 40:34Speaker 02

  I keep up with everybody.

• 40:35Andrew Santino?

  He's, you know that he's got the cell phone number of everyone that's ever tried to be on this.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  I don't have a cell phone, but I DM everybody.

• 40:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 40:40Speaker 02

  I do. Do you want to meet Urien?

• 40:42Bobby Lee?

  No, but you know the one that you, the one that you gave, I think, a golden ticket to? What's it? Grace Thunderbolt?

• 40:48Andrew Santino?

  Grace, Grace Thunderbolt?

• 40:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what's her name? Grace Thunderbolt, the singer.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  Uh, I think you're thinking of Grace Vanderwall?

• 40:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that one.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, Grace.

• 40:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  Grace Thunderbolt.

• 40:57Bobby Lee?

  She's so good.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  You want to talk to Urien?

• 40:59Andrew Santino?

  Howie, what are you going to do for your 70th birthday?

• 41:00Bobby Lee?

  I was kidding, Howie. Don't call her.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  I'm going to call her.

• 41:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Howie, you're single.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  How are you?

• 41:05Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 41:06Speaker 02

  Here she is.

• 41:06Bobby Lee?

  How are you? Don't call her, dude.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  I'm gonna call her.

• 41:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God.

• 41:09Andrew Santino?

  Well, let him call her. You never know what you'll get out of that.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  I'll tell her to go on.

• 41:12Bobby Lee?

  She's... Oh, she's on FaceTime?

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 41:14Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 41:15Speaker 02

  I'll see if it works.

• 41:16Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna do an accent, though, for sure.

• 41:18Andrew Santino?

  1-800-FLOWERS.COM. Hey.

• 41:21Bobby Lee?

  Mom.

• 41:21Andrew Santino?

  Mom.

• 41:22Bobby Lee?

  Mom.

• 41:22Andrew Santino?

  I'm Bobby Mom.

• 41:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and she... My mom, when I sent her the flowers, she went, "What is this?" And she loved every single one of them.

• 41:29Andrew Santino?

  I love the flowers.

• 41:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:30Andrew Santino?

  She's the absolute best.

• 41:31Bobby Lee?

  You said your mom, right?

• 41:31Andrew Santino?

  I did. I love my mom and I love your mom. And you know what? Moms deserve the best, especially here on Mother's Day. When it comes to flowers, there's only one place I trust to get it every time. This is a fact. I've been using these guys for so long, way longer than they were a part of the show, but 1-800-FLOWERS.COM. So simple. Every single year, you pick something elegant and cute and sweet and colors that match your mom's style.

• 41:49Bobby Lee?

  Ooh, ooh. And right now, when you order one dozen roses, Andrew, they'll double it to two dozen free. Twice the beauty, twice the love, and all no extra cost, baby.

• 42:01Andrew Santino?

  What do you want, man? Don't wait. Show mom how much she means to you with a gift that says it all. Go to 1-800-FLOWERS.COM today and give mom their flowers. They deserve them, okay? To claim your double your roses offer, go to 1-800-FLOWERS.COM/BADFRIENDS.

• 42:13Bobby Lee?

  That's 1-800-FLOWERS.COM/BADFRIENDS.

• 42:15Andrew Santino?

  1-800-FLOWERS.COM/BADFRIENDS.

• 42:17Bobby Lee?

  Square. Support for today's episode comes from Square, your all-in-one business partner, making your day to day easier.

• 42:25Andrew Santino?

  From point-of-sale systems and payments to inventory and customer tools, Square brings everything together in one simple platform. You can stay organized, sell anywhere, and keep things moving. Whether you're running a cafe, salon, boutique, something entirely on your own, Square gives you the flexibility to grow at your own pace and even set up an online store in just a few clicks.

• 42:42Bobby Lee?

  And, Andrew, and right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/badfriends.

• 42:52Andrew Santino?

  That is S-Q-U-A-R-E.com/go/badfriends. Visit Square to get started because the right tools make all the difference. When I first started touring, by the way,

• 43:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:02Andrew Santino?

  I used Square. The Square on my phone, I would plug it in.

• 43:04Bobby Lee?

  I remember that.

• 43:05Andrew Santino?

  For merch. So I had to do that because a lot of places didn't take cash anymore. And also, people don't carry cash anymore, so it was easiest for people to just tap the Square.

• 43:11Bobby Lee?

  And guess what? I was too dumb to do it.

• 43:13Andrew Santino?

  You were. If you know then now, if you then know now, you would have.

• 43:16Bobby Lee?

  Square keeps up, so you don't have to slow down, man. Get everything you need to run and grow your business without any long-term commitments.

• 43:25Andrew Santino?

  And why wait? What are you doing? Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/badfriends.

• 43:32Bobby Lee?

  That's Square, S-Q-U-A-R-E.com/go/badfriends.

• 43:36Andrew Santino?

  Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today.

• 43:40Speaker 00

  Life is all about making decisions. Sometimes you make questionable ones, like buying a new TV that's too big for the wall because the electronics store employee was a little too good at their job. Then, sometimes you make great ones, like protecting your home and auto with Progressive. You get customized coverage options, so you can be sure you have the right coverage. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurers. Not available in all states.

• 44:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, here we go. Hi, I got. No, do not do that. You're on, you're on, Retriever. I'll do that.

• 44:20Bobby Lee?

  Ruck, ruck. I'm a golden retriever. No, stop, you stop that. You stop that. Ruck, ruck. Oh, well, watch. I'm just practicing.

• 44:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh, let me, yeah, let me leave a message. No?

• 44:38Bobby Lee?

  It's Howie.

• 44:40Andrew Santino?

  There's no way her real name is Retriever.

• 44:45Andrew Santino?

  Pretty stuck, pretty stuck on that.

• 44:48Andrew Santino?

  A million followers, though.

• 44:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no. Killing it. She's a dancer.

• 44:53Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 44:53Bobby Lee?

  People love dance.

• 44:54Andrew Santino?

  Well, yes, she did. Well, not enough. You didn't put her through.

• 44:58Bobby Lee?

  I didn't have, because other people didn't get it. I get it.

• 45:01Andrew Santino?

  It was a fucking Simon.

• 45:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it's Simon. He doesn't understand dance like I do.

• 45:05Andrew Santino?

  Who do you, who do you, who do you love, who do you really love working with truly, truly, truly? Who really good do you work with that you go, you know, really enjoy that person a lot?

• 45:13Bobby Lee?

  I, I enjoy Sofia Vergara.

• 45:15Andrew Santino?

  She's great, huh?

• 45:16Bobby Lee?

  You should have her on. Well, it's not only that, she's funny.

• 45:19Andrew Santino?

  And funny. I've never noticed her looks.

• 45:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, oh yeah.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  Really?

• 45:23Andrew Santino?

  That's not how I view people. He goes right to that beautiful thing. I think smart, sweet.

• 45:28Bobby Lee?

  That pudgy Asian girl says she was good.

• 45:30Andrew Santino?

  Okay dude.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  Why are you making fun of somebody that looks exactly like you?

• 45:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's why I can do it, right?

• 45:36Speaker 02

  No, if it is you, you can do it.

• 45:39Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  If they look like you and it's not you, you can't do it. What are you saying?

• 45:44Bobby Lee?

  I guess it's kiwi fruit?

• 45:46Andrew Santino?

  Kiwi fruit.

• 45:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:47Andrew Santino?

  How we, I've asked, I've asked, but I am really interested. What is 70th birthday gonna be? That's a huge, that's a big deal.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  I'm gonna throw it myself, I'm gonna, it's gonna be a surprise.

• 45:57Bobby Lee?

  Are we invited to your party?

• 45:59Speaker 02

  I'm not telling anybody. No, I'm gonna plan it, but I'm not gonna tell anyone. I'm gonna park way down the street. And then I'm gonna hide behind my door.

• 46:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  And wait for nothing. I don't wanna celebrate. All kidding aside, I'm not celebrating.

• 46:13Bobby Lee?

  Do a party.

• 46:14Andrew Santino?

  You're not gonna celebrate your 70th birthday?

• 46:16Speaker 02

  I don't wanna. I don't like birthdays anymore.

• 46:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:18Andrew Santino?

  Why not?

• 46:19Speaker 02

  I'm fucking 70.

• 46:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but 70 is a big deal.

• 46:23Speaker 02

  Here's the thing, you know.

• 46:24Andrew Santino?

  She's never gonna get there. Do it for her.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  How old are you?

• 46:28Speaker 06

  23.

• 46:29Andrew Santino?

  These people go fast.

• 46:30Bobby Lee?

  They go fast.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  I was, I was more than a decade older than you when you were born.

• 46:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 46:36Speaker 02

  You know, I'm, the thing about me, look at me.

• 46:40Speaker 06

  You look young.

• 46:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you do.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  I'm gonna die soon.

• 46:42Bobby Lee?

  No, you're not.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  I am.

• 46:44Bobby Lee?

  Not, you're gonna be like that one guy, um.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Who's the one guy that didn't die soon?

• 46:48Bobby Lee?

  He's 99, what's his name?

• 46:49Andrew Santino?

  Huh?

• 46:50Speaker 05

  Dick Van Dyke.

• 46:50Bobby Lee?

  Dick Van Dyke!

• 46:52Speaker 02

  But even that.

• 46:53Bobby Lee?

  You're gonna be like that.

• 46:54Speaker 02

  29 years, 29 years, which is even older than, so I've only got another 29.

• 46:58Andrew Santino?

  You got a long time.

• 46:59Bobby Lee?

  You got a long time, dude.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  How many more appearances on this podcast do you think I've got left in me in the rest of my life?

• 47:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:05Andrew Santino?

  Who's egg? Honestly, ask, ask, um, ask AI how lo, how much longer Howie has to live.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, ask when Howie Man, how much longer will Howie Mandel live?

• 47:15Bobby Lee?

  And then three years from now, you're gonna, you're gonna be still doing that show and the androids are gonna be

• 47:19Speaker 02

  Are you gonna wait to air this, like, to the day before this says? And then that way, this

• 47:24Andrew Santino?

  We usually hold this stuff out, if you die, this is gonna be a banger.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:28Andrew Santino?

  Posture stuff.

• 47:28Speaker 02

  Wouldn't that be great for you?

• 47:29Andrew Santino?

  It is impossible.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  Think about how great.

• 47:31Andrew Santino?

  Look at that, zoom in. It is impossible to predict how long any individual will live, including uh, public figures like Howie Mandel. Life expectancy depends on many factors, including genetics, lifestyle choice, medical conditions, and even chance. However, Howie Mandel, like anyone else, will live as long as his health and circumstances allow. No one can know for sure how long, probably the next four years. Fuck.

• 47:52Andrew Santino?

  That's pretty good suit.

• 47:53Bobby Lee?

  That's, yeah.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  See?

• 47:54Andrew Santino?

  But you're gonna, you're gonna go for a long time. You're a healthy guy. Well, you exercise.

• 47:58Bobby Lee?

  I do.

• 47:58Andrew Santino?

  And you exercise your brain daily. That's mo- that's just as important. That's what they say. If, if, if the noodle is activated.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  Is that the, what they say?

• 48:06Andrew Santino?

  They say a healthy brain is a healthier life, for sure. Do you ever see Life in the Blue Zones? Do you ever watch that?

• 48:10Speaker 02

  No, what, what is that? Like, that's what, the Blue Zones, I, I know what it is. It's the areas in the world where people live the longest.

• 48:18Andrew Santino?

  And they say that

• 48:19Speaker 02

  And they have a series?

• 48:20Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they did a Netflix

• 48:21Bobby Lee?

  Is Okinawa a Blue Zone?

• 48:22Andrew Santino?

  It was.

• 48:23Bobby Lee?

  What happened? Godzilla?

• 48:25Andrew Santino?

  Godzilla.

• 48:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh, fuck.

• 48:26Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's a green zone.

• 48:27Speaker 02

  I kinda focus on Life in the Jew Zone.

• 48:30Andrew Santino?

  Life in the Jew Zones.

• 48:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  They don't live long, but they complain about everything.

• 48:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But Howie, I wanna say something, um.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  Don't. I

• 48:42Bobby Lee?

  I do, no, I really, no, I really don't. I really do, I really do.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 48:45Bobby Lee?

  May I?

• 48:46Speaker 02

  Hmm, go ahead, say what do you wanna say?

• 48:47Bobby Lee?

  You know, I, I act a certain way, one of them around you, but really, I'm like

• 48:50Speaker 02

  You act a certain way?

• 48:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I try to be confident around you, like, I'm the guy, or whatever, but it's like, at the end of the day, I'm just, I've always been a fan of yours. Like, when I, you, you and Arsenio, you know, doing that tour together?

• 49:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I just love both of you guys, so it's like

• 49:03Andrew Santino?

  You've got, you've got, uh, shit all over your

• 49:05Bobby Lee?

  What is it?

• 49:06Andrew Santino?

  Shit, just a lot of shit.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  You didn't brush your teeth for this fucking thing?

• 49:11Bobby Lee?

  I just wanna say that I'm just a

• 49:12Speaker 02

  You didn't even brush your teeth? How big a fan could you be if you got You're just like, you don't even

• 49:17Andrew Santino?

  You wouldn't even take care of yourself. Howie Mandel comes, you didn't even floss?

• 49:19Bobby Lee?

  So, uh, Howie, what time do you go to bed at night?

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Are you sending me to bed now?

• 49:23Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not, no.

• 49:24Andrew Santino?

  I do wanna know.

• 49:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what time do you, at night? I feel like you don't get good sleep.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 49:28Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 49:29Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 49:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  Because I, I don't.

• 49:31Bobby Lee?

  You think too much.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  I can't sleep.

• 49:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you think too much.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  I don't know what's going on.

• 49:36Bobby Lee?

  I know what it is. You've told me.

• 49:38Speaker 02

  I'm a mess.

• 49:39Bobby Lee?

  You're a mess, and you told me what it

• 49:40Andrew Santino?

  Mental health mess.

• 49:41Bobby Lee?

  Can I tell you what it is?

• 49:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 49:44Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 49:45Bobby Lee?

  What it is is this. It's you, you keep going, you can't sit down, because when you sit down, you start thinking and then you get all fucked up.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  I get fucked up.

• 49:55Bobby Lee?

  So you keep going and you have to constantly work, work, work, work, work.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  I gotta work.

• 49:58Bobby Lee?

  You need a fucking therapist.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  I know, and you didn't make me happy thinking I'm gonna live for a long time. This is too, it's too tiring.

• 50:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you need help.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  I do.

• 50:07Bobby Lee?

  Do you think or no? Alex, you think?

• 50:08Speaker 02

  I get help. As I sit here, I'm incredibly medicated.

• 50:11Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 50:12Andrew Santino?

  What are you on?

• 50:13Speaker 02

  I'm a gun, I don't tell my, but I am on medic.

• 50:16Bobby Lee?

  I'm a Ritalin.

• 50:16Andrew Santino?

  You're on medication?

• 50:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:18Andrew Santino?

  Oh, right, right, well, that's healthy, that's good, if you're, if you feel good. Do you feel at bay, you feel balanced, or you feel held back?

• 50:25Speaker 02

  I feel numb.

• 50:26Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 50:27Speaker 02

  Mmm. Is that good?

• 50:28Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  Is that good?

• 50:29Andrew Santino?

  No, you gotta feel stuff.

• 50:31Bobby Lee?

  Hey, Howie.

• 50:31Speaker 02

  Will you shut up?

• 50:34Bobby Lee?

  Howie.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 50:35Bobby Lee?

  Back in the day, at the Comedy Store days, because you know me, him and I still go to the store a lot.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I go sometimes.

• 50:41Bobby Lee?

  Do you?

• 50:41Speaker 02

  You see me there.

• 50:42Bobby Lee?

  I know, but are there guys that like you didn't like, they're still around?

• 50:45Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:46Bobby Lee?

  We like this kind of talk.

• 50:48Andrew Santino?

  Who used to be, back in the day?

• 50:49Bobby Lee?

  Back in the, who's an asshole, like an asshole.

• 50:51Andrew Santino?

  With?

• 50:52Speaker 02

  Nobody was.

• 50:52Bobby Lee?

  Let me throw some names out.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 50:54Bobby Lee?

  Dice. How was Dice?

• 50:56Speaker 02

  He was nice to me, he actually, and he came on my podcast and talked about how he took some of my material.

• 51:02Bobby Lee?

  Mmm.

• 51:03Andrew Santino?

  He stole from you?

• 51:04Speaker 02

  He, he, he, uh, roses are red, violets are blue, um, you are schizophrenic, I am schizophrenic and so am I, was mine.

• 51:16Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  And then, and then he did it, but he says that. I love him now.

• 51:20Andrew Santino?

  Who else?

• 51:21Speaker 02

  Watching him lately?

• 51:21Andrew Santino?

  Who else stole that?

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Have you been watching him?

• 51:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's great.

• 51:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 51:24Speaker 02

  No, but on, on, on his Instagram, where he goes up to people and he says, take a picture with me.

• 51:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  And they don't know who the fuck, that's, he's hysterical.

• 51:31Bobby Lee?

  He's hysterical.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  And now he's got John Lovitz with him, where he, he.

• 51:34Andrew Santino?

  Do you know what the line you just said, you know who else stole that? You know where that's from? Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I, you wrote that?

• 51:40Speaker 02

  I wrote that.

• 51:41Andrew Santino?

  Do you know what it, you know, movie that's in?

• 51:43Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:44Andrew Santino?

  That's in, um, that's in, uh, uh.

• 51:49Speaker 02

  You don't know either. That's the beauty of it.

• 51:51Andrew Santino?

  No, I do know. This is crazy. My brain just went blank.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  You know, a lot of shit of mine got stolen when I was a kid.

• 51:56Andrew Santino?

  No, no, it's Richard Dreyfuss and fucking Bill Murray. It's, it's What About Bob? It's in What About Bob. The scene where he is in the mental hospital, he says, there it is, rose red, violet, blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I. Right there. I called it.

• 52:07Speaker 02

  I wrote that in 1970. But you know, something else to think about.

• 52:10Andrew Santino?

  I remember that fucking clip.

• 52:10Bobby Lee?

  Can you sue?

• 52:11Speaker 02

  No. You know, I tried to make suits originally, one of my.

• 52:15Andrew Santino?

  Look, they made a fucking meme out of it.

• 52:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god.

• 52:18Andrew Santino?

  I remember that so vividly.

• 52:19Bobby Lee?

  They stole that from you.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  No, I didn't. He did. He heard me do it and then he did it.

• 52:24Andrew Santino?

  No, that's, to put it in a movie.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  He came on, he, well, this I don't, I didn't know.

• 52:28Bobby Lee?

  Why, why did you do that to Bill Burr?

• 52:31Speaker 02

  I, oh, I feel so bad. I feel bad. He told me to go fuck myself. And people want to beat me up for it.

• 52:37Bobby Lee?

  Why would you go to the king and trap him?

• 52:40Speaker 02

  Do you want me to be honest?

• 52:42Andrew Santino?

  What are you trying to do, dude?

• 52:43Speaker 02

  I tried, I tried to do something nice. I thought I was doing something nice. Don't you think it's nice to bring family together?

• 52:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but if you're not honest before.

• 52:52Andrew Santino?

  It's kind of like the whistle.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  It's called a surprise.

• 52:55Andrew Santino?

  It's a surprise.

• 52:56Speaker 02

  It's, that was a whistle. Yeah, yeah.

• 52:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that was a whistle.

• 52:58Bobby Lee?

  So, um. What was that all about, guy?

• 53:01Speaker 02

  Billy Corgan came on my show and told the story that he'd never told before. It wasn't even a bit that I planned.

• 53:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  The plan was, I was, Billy Corgan was on, gonna do my podcast. And I said, you know, here's, this will be funny. I'm gonna just say that Bill Burr is doing the podcast and will never cop to the fact that you're Billy Corgan. And I'll, I'll, we'll talk, you'll answer questions as Bill Burr. He goes, nah, I don't want to do that. But you know my Bill Burr story? And I said, no, I don't know your Bill Burr story. I said, I never told it before. Can I tell it on your show? I go ahead, tell me your Bill Burr story. So he told me that his mother, or stepmother, told him that there's a famous comedian who has a really good chance of being your brother.

• 53:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  You heard the story. I'm not gonna repeat it.

• 53:46Bobby Lee?

  But maybe the audience has it.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  Do you want me to tell it again?

• 53:49Bobby Lee?

  That's what I'm trying to do.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  It's Billy Corgan's story. Billy Corgan said that his father was a.

• 53:54Bobby Lee?

  But the problem is, is that.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Was a, a flanderer.

• 53:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, a musician who, uh, you know, had fun. He did meet and greets.

• 54:03Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 54:04Speaker 02

  You know, and he, he liked me, didn't shake hands. He just put his penis in.

• 54:07Bobby Lee?

  But I mean, it doesn't make any sense because Bill Burr and Billy Corgan both knew their dads, right?

• 54:13Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 54:15Bobby Lee?

  Individually, do they know their dads?

• 54:17Speaker 02

  Like, did Bill? They know who they think their dad is, yes.

• 54:20Bobby Lee?

  Oh, they never physically saw their dad, then?

• 54:22Speaker 02

  No, they physically, just because a guy lives in your house with your mother doesn't make him your dad.

• 54:27Bobby Lee?

  Very nice, very good. I never thought, yeah, yeah.

• 54:30Andrew Santino?

  Let's see somebody steal that.

• 54:34Bobby Lee?

  But is he, is Bill mad? Is Bill still mad?

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Not Corgan Burr.

• 54:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Burr's mad.

• 54:39Andrew Santino?

  Burr's never mad.

• 54:40Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  He's not mad?

• 54:42Andrew Santino?

  I've never seen Burr mad. I don't think I've ever seen Burr upset.

• 54:45Bobby Lee?

  He internalizes it. I think he's mad.

• 54:49Speaker 02

  He talked about me on the Rich Eisen Show.

• 54:51Andrew Santino?

  Are you guys fucking here right now? Is this a comedy?

• 54:52Speaker 02

  That was irony.

• 54:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. My, my, my bad. Dude, I'm off today. I'm off.

• 54:58Andrew Santino?

  Fuck, are you doing?

• 55:00Speaker 02

  Is he ironic or what?

• 55:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, very good.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  He cut out the part where you-

• 55:05Bobby Lee?

  Cause he's really not that, yeah, he's always mad.

• 55:08Speaker 02

  Where you told us that we didn't react properly to the statement?

• 55:11Bobby Lee?

  That's so good.

• 55:11Speaker 02

  You edit that out and then you just get the-

• 55:13Andrew Santino?

  No, no.

• 55:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:14Andrew Santino?

  The audience at home will get it.

• 55:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:16Andrew Santino?

  We have to let them get it, you know, sometimes.

• 55:18Speaker 02

  So then, Bill Burr was on my show just to promote his upcoming-

• 55:24Bobby Lee?

  Hulu special?

• 55:25Speaker 02

  Hulu special and the fact that he was gonna be on Broadway.

• 55:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:29Speaker 02

  And all that.

• 55:30Bobby Lee?

  Gay.

• 55:30Andrew Santino?

  Alright, go ahead. I have to say, whenever I hear the word, I'm sorry, that's instinct. I apologize.

• 55:35Bobby Lee?

  Hulu?

• 55:36Andrew Santino?

  Gay.

• 55:38Speaker 02

  So then, what, so anyway, what I was, so I said, I called up Billy,

• 55:46Speaker 02

  who does work in my space. Because he said he was going to.

• 55:54Speaker 02

  Anyway, I called and I said, uh-

• 55:57Andrew Santino?

  Billy Corgan works in your space?

• 55:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:58Andrew Santino?

  What is he doing there?

• 55:59Speaker 02

  A podcast.

• 56:01Andrew Santino?

  He's got a fucking podcast?

• 56:03Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 56:03Andrew Santino?

  Gee, everyone's got a-

• 56:04Speaker 02

  It's called The Magnificent Others.

• 56:06Andrew Santino?

  Is that, is that what it's called?

• 56:07Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 56:08Bobby Lee?

  Is it going well?

• 56:09Speaker 02

  I don't know. I don't look at numbers.

• 56:11Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  I'm not here for numbers.

• 56:13Andrew Santino?

  You know, since his band was Smashing Pumpkins, the podcast should be called Picking Up The Pieces.

• 56:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that would-

• 56:18Andrew Santino?

  I feel like that would have been more in line with the-

• 56:20Bobby Lee?

  My favorite album of all time, Gish.

• 56:22Andrew Santino?

  The Gish.

• 56:23Bobby Lee?

  You remember Gish?

• 56:24Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:24Bobby Lee?

  The very first one. Smashing Pumpkins.

• 56:26Andrew Santino?

  Smashing Pumpkins is phenomenal.

• 56:27Bobby Lee?

  Phenomenal.

• 56:27Andrew Santino?

  What city is he from? One, two, three?

• 56:29Bobby Lee?

  Chicago.

• 56:30Andrew Santino?

  The best.

• 56:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Can you ask him if I want to do it?

• 56:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 56:34Bobby Lee?

  I'm sure he'd love to have you.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:36Bobby Lee?

  I would love to do it.

• 56:36Speaker 02

  I'm sure he'd love to.

• 56:37Bobby Lee?

  You want me to phone him now? I'd be so nervous to meet him.

• 56:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, he doesn't want to meet him.

• 56:41Bobby Lee?

  I'm a huge fan. Yeah. You know, it's like.

• 56:45Speaker 02

  I phoned.

• 56:46Andrew Santino?

  I can't believe.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  Anyway, the point is, he was in my building.

• 56:51Andrew Santino?

  How did, how did they never cast Billy Corgan in fucking FX's What We Do in the Shadow?

• 57:00Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 57:00Andrew Santino?

  It's like, dude.

• 57:01Bobby Lee?

  It's incredible.

• 57:01Andrew Santino?

  No hair, no makeup.

• 57:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 57:03Andrew Santino?

  No, but look, honestly, I'm not kidding when I say this. You gotta let us throw you a 70th birthday party. Let us do it.

• 57:08Bobby Lee?

  Let us do it. I'll do it.

• 57:09Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm dead serious. I think it's important.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  It would be great to celebrate with bad friends.

• 57:13Andrew Santino?

  Can we do it? Bob, can we really?

• 57:14Bobby Lee?

  I would love to do it.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  All right.

• 57:15Bobby Lee?

  I don't want to start a fight with you, but I have to say it. We get it. You know John Mayer. Let's move on.

• 57:25Bobby Lee?

  We went to the show this week. Yeah, we get it. But anyway.

• 57:27Speaker 02

  I know, he went to Vegas.

• 57:28Andrew Santino?

  I'm not allowed to wear the shirt of the fucking fan?

• 57:30Bobby Lee?

  Hey, look who I'm friends with. You know what's funny about that? Fucking disgusting.

• 57:35Speaker 02

  I know that.

• 57:36Bobby Lee?

  Am I not back me up?

• 57:36Speaker 02

  Not everybody can get that, dude.

• 57:38Bobby Lee?

  It's so gross.

• 57:38Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 57:38Speaker 02

  I asked you to be on the podcast this week. And you, you could have said, no, I got, I got things to do, but you were very specific.

• 57:45Andrew Santino?

  I was.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  About telling me I'm going to Vegas to see the dead.

• 57:48Andrew Santino?

  I said, I'm going.

• 57:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's what he does.

• 57:52Andrew Santino?

  I did. I go, I'm going to Vegas.

• 57:53Bobby Lee?

  You go backstage?

• 57:54Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 57:55Bobby Lee?

  You didn't?

• 57:56Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 57:56Bobby Lee?

  You didn't see John one time?

• 57:57Andrew Santino?

  Nope.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  He stopped three times.

• 58:01Bobby Lee?

  He lies.

• 58:01Speaker 02

  He stopped three.

• 58:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, three times. Had lunch? Meals?

• 58:04Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 58:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:05Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 58:06Bobby Lee?

  Nothing.

• 58:07Speaker 02

  Did you get it for free? Did you get it for free?

• 58:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:10Andrew Santino?

  No, I pay.

• 58:11Bobby Lee?

  No, are you out of your fucking mind, Howie?

• 58:13Andrew Santino?

  I pay.

• 58:13Bobby Lee?

  This guy is, it's the Celtics in front row. With Shaquille and Humphries and all those guys.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Shaquille Humphries.

• 58:21Andrew Santino?

  Have you seen Shaquille Humphries play ball?

• 58:23Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 58:24Andrew Santino?

  Guy's got handles.

• 58:25Bobby Lee?

  Dude, his big hand.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  I know you're a good seat if you're sitting in Tracy Morgan's puke.

• 58:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So my point is, is that he went, had a jolly time.

• 58:34Andrew Santino?

  Had a great time.

• 58:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 58:35Andrew Santino?

  You know. He's jealous.

• 58:36Bobby Lee?

  Who's the big, famous, most famous person you know?

• 58:39Speaker 02

  I think, uh.

• 58:40Bobby Lee?

  Everybody.

• 58:41Andrew Santino?

  I mean, it's such a dumb fucking question. Such a loser fucking dumb question. Take your headphones off and walk outside. Go smoke.

• 58:49Bobby Lee?

  Where are you going?

• 58:50Andrew Santino?

  He's gonna go shorten his life.

• 58:52Speaker 02

  How come the guy doesn't come? Oh, there he is, around the corner again.

• 58:54Andrew Santino?

  Come on, sit down. Sit down. I don't want you to pass out.

• 59:01Speaker 02

  I don't like your shoes. Can I get you Skechers? I'm supposed to-

• 59:05Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you gotta plug it.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Spread Skechers.

• 59:07Andrew Santino?

  I would love to know that deal. How much money is Skechers?

• 59:09Speaker 02

  Keep that material kid away from- You know how I got the deal?

• 59:11Andrew Santino?

  That's gotta be so much-

• 59:11Speaker 02

  You know how I got the deal?

• 59:13Andrew Santino?

  AGT?

• 59:14Speaker 02

  No. You know how I got the deal, really? I've told, I think I've told this story before, but I'm gonna tell you.

• 59:19Bobby Lee?

  I don't wanna hear it.

• 59:19Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 59:23Andrew Santino?

  Let him tell the story.

• 59:24Bobby Lee?

  Was that rude?

• 59:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 59:25Bobby Lee?

  I'm sorry, Howie.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  I went to Skechers because I like, I'm not plugging, this is the absolute truth. I like the slip-ins because I don't like to touch laces. I don't wanna touch the fucking shoes. So when I'm not doing a show, I go there and I bought the slip-ins. I walk up to the counter, this is in Marina Del Rey, you could check all these, these are facts. I walk up to the counter, the girl at the cash register says, "Are you Howie Mandel?" I said, "Yes." She goes, "Oh, you're, you're obviously an ambassador, you get 30% off." I went, "Obviously." And I, I-

• 59:56Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 59:58Speaker 02

  My wife was standing behind me, she kicked me, she goes, "You don't fucking bullshit for 30 bucks." Whatever I was getting off. And, but then she goes, uh, so she gives me, I pay for the shoe, she gives me 30% off. And then she says, "I can't find your name in the computer."

• 1:00:13Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  That's what I said. I went, "Oh my god, I don't know what the fuck is wrong."

• 1:00:17Bobby Lee?

  But they, but they give it to you anyway, right?

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  What? She goes, "I'll give it to you anyway."

• 1:00:21Bobby Lee?

  There we go.

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  Here's, here's what you gotta do.

• 1:00:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  You gotta take the shoes, hold them up, I'm gonna take a picture of you, and send it to the head office.

• 1:00:28Andrew Santino?

  Whoa.

• 1:00:29Speaker 02

  My wife is kicking me, you fucking idiot, you fucking, you're so embarrassing.

• 1:00:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  And then, and then they take a picture of me, they send it.

• 1:00:36Andrew Santino?

  So wait a minute, 30% off?

• 1:00:38Bobby Lee?

  You're not doing what this, if the riveting story, then I'm finished.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:00:41Bobby Lee?

  There's an ending to this riveting story? So let it fucking end it!

• 1:00:45Andrew Santino?

  Sorry.

• 1:00:46Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 1:00:46Andrew Santino?

  I'm sorry.

• 1:00:47Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so they take the photo, you can edit it out.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  With this, and then what happens? Two weeks later, I get a call from my agent that said, uh, Skechers called. And I go, "They want, for 30 fucking dollars, they're calling, they found me, they tracked me down? And they said they want me to be an ambassador, and they made me do a commercial telling this story that I told."

• 1:01:05Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:01:07Speaker 02

  See?

• 1:01:08Bobby Lee?

  It's not a great story.

• 1:01:13Bobby Lee?

  I love it. I love it. It feels so good.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:01:16Bobby Lee?

  I love you so much.

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  He interrupted you with the fucking photo and then it fucked up the fucking rhythm of the story. And there's no rhythm.

• 1:01:22Bobby Lee?

  And look at his shirt.

• 1:01:23Speaker 02

  Look at his shirt, dude.

• 1:01:25Andrew Santino?

  The jealousy is so gross on you.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  Who did you go with?

• 1:01:28Bobby Lee?

  Oh, let me guess. Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds. Who knows, Howie? That's what he's in line with.

• 1:01:35Speaker 02

  Who did you go with?

• 1:01:36Andrew Santino?

  I went with Armie Hammer.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  You know, I just had him on the.

• 1:01:41Andrew Santino?

  Did you?

• 1:01:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Andrew Santino?

  Shit.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:01:43Andrew Santino?

  I was gonna make a fucking joke and you didn't even let me get it.

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  I'm so sorry. I'm off today. I'm so tired.

• 1:01:48Bobby Lee?

  So Armie Hammer.

• 1:01:49Andrew Santino?

  I was gonna say 30% off. Did they owe you money? I mean, fuck, dude. Now it doesn't work. Thanks, man.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, my rhythm's off.

• 1:01:56Andrew Santino?

  I was trying to sing as a Skechers zing.

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  My rhythm, my rhythm's not.

• 1:01:59Bobby Lee?

  This is not live, guys. You could re-edit this in post.

• 1:02:03Andrew Santino?

  He fucks it up all the time.

• 1:02:04Bobby Lee?

  No, post.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  My rhythm's off. Was that irony again? Just for my clarity.

• 1:02:08Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 1:02:09Speaker 02

  You got it. So last week, I had Armie Hammer on and my daughter, who I do, I have my daughter.

• 1:02:14Andrew Santino?

  I like your daughter. She's sweet.

• 1:02:15Speaker 02

  I think she's hot. She wouldn't do the show.

• 1:02:17Andrew Santino?

  How the fuck are you doing it?

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  She wouldn't do the show.

• 1:02:19Bobby Lee?

  She's old.

• 1:02:20Andrew Santino?

  You can't.

• 1:02:21Bobby Lee?

  You can't say she's hot?

• 1:02:22Andrew Santino?

  Well, you can't say she's old.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  She's 40.

• 1:02:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's hot for 40. And Alex is handsome.

• 1:02:27Andrew Santino?

  Just.

• 1:02:28Bobby Lee?

  Why can't I say that? No, no, you know what, dude? I think what you're doing.

• 1:02:31Andrew Santino?

  Doesn't sit right.

• 1:02:32Bobby Lee?

  Let me say that again.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  With you?

• 1:02:33Andrew Santino?

  She's hot, she's old.

• 1:02:34Bobby Lee?

  Why are you offended? Say your daughter again. I'll start it over.

• 1:02:36Speaker 02

  My, my daughter, who I do my podcast.

• 1:02:38Andrew Santino?

  She's ugly.

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  Jaclyn.

• 1:02:39Andrew Santino?

  Love it.

• 1:02:41Bobby Lee?

  She's so ugly, dude.

• 1:02:42Andrew Santino?

  It's a comedy show.

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  Wait.

• 1:02:43Andrew Santino?

  There it is.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  That doesn't sit right.

• 1:02:44Bobby Lee?

  I agree when she talks.

• 1:02:47Speaker 02

  That doesn't sit right with me.

• 1:02:48Andrew Santino?

  See?

• 1:02:49Bobby Lee?

  Look at that piece of shit.

• 1:02:50Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:02:51Bobby Lee?

  What do you want then, guy?

• 1:02:53Andrew Santino?

  Say nothing.

• 1:02:54Bobby Lee?

  All right, say it again.

• 1:02:55Speaker 02

  My daughter, who I do my podcast with.

• 1:03:01Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:02Bobby Lee?

  Better?

• 1:03:02Andrew Santino?

  Go on.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  I don't have it. The timing was ruined.

• 1:03:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:05Andrew Santino?

  No, no, but, but your daughter?

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  She wouldn't sit in the room.

• 1:03:09Andrew Santino?

  With Armie?

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:10Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 1:03:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh, she's one of those.

• 1:03:14Speaker 05

  Well, she doesn't wanna be bitten.

• 1:03:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, that's-

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:03:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, bitten. He's Spanish.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 1:03:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:20Speaker 02

  If he wasn't, it's just like a speech impediment.

• 1:03:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:23Speaker 06

  Is that true? That he likes to eat people?

• 1:03:26Andrew Santino?

  Ask Howie, he had him on the show.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  He said no.

• 1:03:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't think he's, I don't know.

• 1:03:31Andrew Santino?

  He said no.

• 1:03:33Speaker 02

  He doesn't eat-

• 1:03:33Andrew Santino?

  Your honor, he said no.

• 1:03:35Speaker 02

  He didn't get charged.

• 1:03:36Andrew Santino?

  I, that is true.

• 1:03:37Bobby Lee?

  He didn't, he's never eaten anybody.

• 1:03:39Andrew Santino?

  Never eaten a person. I think it'd take a lot to eat somebody.

• 1:03:42Bobby Lee?

  I also think he has podcasting chops. I've seen clips. I like it.

• 1:03:45Andrew Santino?

  Don't say chops, cuz-

• 1:03:48Bobby Lee?

  He has, he has pork chops.

• 1:03:50Speaker 05

  A bad choice of words.

• 1:03:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, um, wow.

• 1:03:54Andrew Santino?

  Did you give him like-

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  Why don't we go-

• 1:03:57Andrew Santino?

  Give him like a fork and a fucking knife, like, "Thanks for coming on the show." "Sit down, don't get this away from the guy." Well, he was a nice guy-

• 1:04:03Speaker 02

  I would imagine that if people, you know, some people don't watch a whole podcast. So if you tune into that episode halfway through and you don't see my daughter, you're gonna assume he ate her.

• 1:04:12Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 1:04:14Speaker 02

  Right, that's why we'll show clips without her there with no explanation and they'll, people will go-

• 1:04:18Andrew Santino?

  I want him to hear the show and be like, "Why would Howie talk about me like that?" He's so fucking bummed.

• 1:04:22Speaker 02

  That's your Arm- Armie Hammer-

• 1:04:23Andrew Santino?

  I've never heard a guy, I don't even know how he sounds.

• 1:04:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh, let me try.

• 1:04:26Andrew Santino?

  How does he sound?

• 1:04:27Bobby Lee?

  Arm- Arm- Arm- Arm-

• 1:04:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, see, we did the same kinda thing.

• 1:04:29Speaker 02

  That's exactly it.

• 1:04:30Bobby Lee?

  Arm- Arm- Arm- I was on the movie with Johnny Depp, where he plays the Indian.

• 1:04:34Andrew Santino?

  Perfect. That's a flawless impression.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  Lone Ranger, right? That's a Lone Ranger.

• 1:04:38Bobby Lee?

  Choncho.

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  What's his name?

• 1:04:39Bobby Lee?

  Choncho?

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  Choncho?

• 1:04:41Andrew Santino?

  Tonto.

• 1:04:41Bobby Lee?

  I'm off.

• 1:04:41Speaker 02

  Tonto.

• 1:04:42Bobby Lee?

  I'm really off.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  Choncho?

• 1:04:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I have a sleep, it's a impediment. Is Choncho-

• 1:04:45Speaker 02

  Lone Ranger. Choncho is the, when they had, when the Lone Ranger had a Chinese sidekick.

• 1:04:50Bobby Lee?

  You know, fuck you, man, making fun of the Chinese. I don't know what I'm doing.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  You said Choncho.

• 1:04:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're right.

• 1:04:55Speaker 02

  I love you so much.

• 1:04:56Bobby Lee?

  I put the C-H into, for the Chinese.

• 1:04:58Speaker 02

  Look at him. Tonto is Native American.

• 1:05:00Andrew Santino?

  That's the cologne commercial he does? Is that what that is?

• 1:05:03Speaker 02

  That's the Lone Ranger.

• 1:05:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that is.

• 1:05:05Bobby Lee?

  That movie, would you see it?

• 1:05:06Speaker 02

  What are you talking about?

• 1:05:07Andrew Santino?

  He doesn't, doesn't he do a cologne commercial that he dresses the exact same? Johnny Depp? Savage.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  Johnny Depp?

• 1:05:12Andrew Santino?

  Look, look at Savage.

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  Dresses like that?

• 1:05:14Andrew Santino?

  Look at that, look at so, look at Savage. So, look, he looks the exact same.

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  I've never seen this.

• 1:05:19Andrew Santino?

  What's the difference? Show me the difference between the two photos. Savage.

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  Savage?

• 1:05:23Andrew Santino?

  You've never seen that?

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  And then Tonto.

• 1:05:25Andrew Santino?

  That's his ske- that's his Skecher.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  Well, you're right, exactly the same.

• 1:05:27Bobby Lee?

  You know what, you know what Johnny Depp looks like? Go back to the Tonto one.

• 1:05:31Bobby Lee?

  Argus Hamilton in the 70s.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  Can you imagine?

• 1:05:34Bobby Lee?

  It was a cocaine joke, Howie's bedroom.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  It was a cocaine.

• 1:05:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I'm laughing.

• 1:05:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:38Bobby Lee?

  I'm laughing.

• 1:05:39Speaker 02

  Can you imagine him walking into his room, looking like that and saying to his ex? You're a man of poo poo.

• 1:05:47Speaker 02

  You know what that is, right?

• 1:05:48Speaker 06

  No.

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  His ex-wife.

• 1:05:50Andrew Santino?

  Look at that photo.

• 1:05:50Bobby Lee?

  What's that Argus Hamilton joke? He goes.

• 1:05:52Andrew Santino?

  That photo's.

• 1:05:53Bobby Lee?

  I didn't like cocaine. I just liked the way it smelled.

• 1:05:56Andrew Santino?

  That was Argus. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. His ex-wife, Johnny Depp's ex-wife, made a poo poo in the bed. Have you ever done that to a boyfriend's bed?

• 1:06:02Speaker 06

  No, but I sometimes poo myself in the car.

• 1:06:10Bobby Lee?

  Do you remember what I?

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  You see my poo? You poo yourself in the car?

• 1:06:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:14Bobby Lee?

  Howie?

• 1:06:14Speaker 06

  Also did the body.

• 1:06:15Bobby Lee?

  Uber, not pooper.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  He's seen my poo.

• 1:06:17Bobby Lee?

  He's seen your poo.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:19Speaker 05

  Who hasn't?

• 1:06:22Bobby Lee?

  With that accent, it sounds like.

• 1:06:24Speaker 02

  Imagine that was a sitcom?

• 1:06:25Bobby Lee?

  Senior poo.

• 1:06:25Andrew Santino?

  It's always like a bad line reading.

• 1:06:27Bobby Lee?

  We'd have to get that over with. Do another one.

• 1:06:30Andrew Santino?

  I mean, you're.

• 1:06:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  What do you mean, who has?

• 1:06:32Andrew Santino?

  You're like fucking.

• 1:06:33Bobby Lee?

  Let's do that again. Let's do that again. So, you know.

• 1:06:37Andrew Santino?

  From the room.

• 1:06:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:38Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 1:06:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he, yeah. It was that kind of line, right?

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  How did you see the poo?

• 1:06:42Andrew Santino?

  I will not.

• 1:06:45Speaker 05

  That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is.

• 1:06:47Bobby Lee?

  Why, wasao? Tommy wasao. Yeah, wasao. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, uh, he's seen my poo.

• 1:06:52Andrew Santino?

  I've seen it.

• 1:06:54Bobby Lee?

  He's seen my, he's seen my poo.

• 1:06:55Speaker 05

  Who hasn't?

• 1:06:56Andrew Santino?

  It's a good reading.

• 1:06:57Bobby Lee?

  Better reading. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:59Speaker 02

  Who hasn't seen your poo?

• 1:07:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  Why did you see his poo?

• 1:07:02Andrew Santino?

  He relapsed in Cancun and he got shit all over the walls.

• 1:07:08Speaker 02

  Well, talk about missing.

• 1:07:10Bobby Lee?

  That's true.

• 1:07:11Andrew Santino?

  That's literally true.

• 1:07:12Speaker 02

  Is that, is that you and Bobby in Cancun, that picture right there?

• 1:07:16Andrew Santino?

  No, that's those two guys now.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. Is that your poop on the wall? And on your face?

• 1:07:23Andrew Santino?

  By the way, did this movie bomb?

• 1:07:24Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:07:24Bobby Lee?

  It did.

• 1:07:25Andrew Santino?

  What a bummer.

• 1:07:26Speaker 02

  He was the man from Uncle, also.

• 1:07:28Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:29Speaker 02

  Also the Winklevoss twins. The Winklevoss twins. Call me by, call me by your name. Timothy Chalamet, he made that movie, too.

• 1:07:35Andrew Santino?

  Social Network?

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yes.

• 1:07:37Andrew Santino?

  Such a good movie.

• 1:07:38Bobby Lee?

  I love Timothy Chalamet.

• 1:07:39Andrew Santino?

  What's a kid's name? What's Spider-Man?

• 1:07:43Andrew Santino?

  I love Andrew Garfield. That kid's phenomenal, too.

• 1:07:45Speaker 02

  What the fuck does that have to do with anything we're talking about?

• 1:07:47Andrew Santino?

  He was in, he was in Social Network.

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:07:50Andrew Santino?

  I named the whole cast.

• 1:07:51Speaker 02

  How do you poo in the car? Why do you poo in the car?

• 1:07:54Speaker 06

  I just had diarrhea and I couldn't hold it.

• 1:07:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:07:58Bobby Lee?

  You never shit your pants, Howie?

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:08:00Andrew Santino?

  There's no, yeah, there's no way.

• 1:08:01Speaker 02

  But she's saying it like it's always in the car. Yeah, I'm seventy years old. I've done it many, many times. I could do it on command.

• 1:08:09Speaker 06

  You have a leaky butt now? Cause you're old?

• 1:08:12Andrew Santino?

  Good question.

• 1:08:13Bobby Lee?

  Very good question.

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  Are you serious?

• 1:08:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:16Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 1:08:17Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:08:18Speaker 06

  It's still tight?

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got a tight ass, I can.

• 1:08:21Bobby Lee?

  Hey, Jules?

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  These are all hard.

• 1:08:26Bobby Lee?

  It's a gaping, it's a gaping hole.

• 1:08:27Speaker 02

  It's like being on Sixty Minutes.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  What are you eating? What are you doing there?

• 1:08:32Bobby Lee?

  Donut.

• 1:08:33Speaker 02

  What is he doing to it?

• 1:08:34Andrew Santino?

  I have diabetes. If I don't eat this, my blood sugar gets really low.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  But what are you doing to it before you eat it?

• 1:08:38Bobby Lee?

  He chops it up.

• 1:08:39Speaker 02

  You chop up a donut?

• 1:08:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Try the other one.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  Who eats a donut with a fork? I've never seen that.

• 1:08:45Andrew Santino?

  People who are friends with John Mayer.

• 1:08:50Speaker 02

  But I've never seen somebody eat it with a fork.

• 1:08:52Andrew Santino?

  I gotta be honest with you.

• 1:08:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:54Andrew Santino?

  It's the only way to eat it. These people use their hands. I mean, you of all people. You should know. Why touch it?

• 1:09:01Bobby Lee?

  So Andrew, can you teach me how to do this?

• 1:09:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:04Bobby Lee?

  So I did a movie with Billy Armstrong from, um, Green Day. And we're talking, you know, we're getting our makeup together, right? And I'm trying to like get his number, right? But I don't wanna directly, you know what I mean? So I start like angling, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, you know, you know, so Jawbreaker started when you started. You know, I'm trying to get into like, you know what I mean? But I can never get it to a place where I can get his number.

• 1:09:27Andrew Santino?

  I can tell you the hands don't help.

• 1:09:30Andrew Santino?

  I mean, I wouldn't give you my fucking money.

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:09:32Bobby Lee?

  I go, Billy, check it out, dude. I love your shit, dude.

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  That's not good?

• 1:09:38Bobby Lee?

  Billy, Billy, Billy.

• 1:09:39Speaker 02

  No?

• 1:09:40Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:09:40Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:09:43Andrew Santino?

  Looks like you're doing.

• 1:09:43Speaker 02

  Well, if you're gonna use your hands, you should have held up fingers. Like hint. If you held up fingers, like if you just, when you're talking to him, you just go, you just keep talking, "Hey, Billy, I love the stuff you do."

• 1:09:54Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 1:09:55Speaker 02

  And he'll go, "What's with those numbers?" And you go, "What? Those numbers aren't yours?" And he goes, "No, my number is," and then you get it.

• 1:10:01Bobby Lee?

  What? No. Really?

• 1:10:03Speaker 02

  Let me try that. That's how I would do it.

• 1:10:06Bobby Lee?

  Alright, alright. "Hey, Billy, man, I love your music."

• 1:10:09Speaker 02

  Good?

• 1:10:09Bobby Lee?

  Thank you.

• 1:10:10Speaker 02

  Well, no, here, check it out. If I'm saying something wrong, go, please stick your finger up.

• 1:10:14Andrew Santino?

  You got it.

• 1:10:17Speaker 02

  Right?

• 1:10:18Bobby Lee?

  Ay.

• 1:10:20Andrew Santino?

  Really? No.

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:21Bobby Lee?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 1:10:22Speaker 02

  Billy, Billy, what's up, man? No?

• 1:10:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what's up?

• 1:10:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:25Andrew Santino?

  You never say that.

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:10:27Andrew Santino?

  So, be in makeup.

• 1:10:28Speaker 02

  Are you sitting beside him in the makeup chair?

• 1:10:31Andrew Santino?

  No, no.

• 1:10:31Speaker 02

  What's the movie? What were you doing?

• 1:10:33Bobby Lee?

  Shit, dog, what's up, brah?

• 1:10:35Speaker 02

  Oakland.

• 1:10:36Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:10:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:38Andrew Santino?

  From San Diego.

• 1:10:39Speaker 02

  But he's from Oakland.

• 1:10:39Andrew Santino?

  But you're not.

• 1:10:40Speaker 02

  I know, but I know that he is, so I go, "What's up, Oakland?"

• 1:10:43Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  Okay, alright, so.

• 1:10:45Andrew Santino?

  You're not Marshawn Lynch.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  Uh, let's be real. I'll do it real.

• 1:10:48Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Hey, man, thanks for putting me in your movie.

• 1:10:51Speaker 02

  Oh, you're in his movie?

• 1:10:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:10:53Speaker 02

  What movie was it?

• 1:10:54Bobby Lee?

  He wrote a movie.

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  When?

• 1:10:56Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:10:56Andrew Santino?

  Some of these are first.

• 1:10:57Speaker 02

  How did he call you?

• 1:10:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it was a fraud.

• 1:11:00Speaker 02

  But he called you. You don't have call.

• 1:11:02Bobby Lee?

  He went to my agent.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:11:04Bobby Lee?

  And then the agent goes, "Yeah, Billy wants you in the movie," so I said yes. So I show up, so I'm like, "What's up, Bill? Thanks for putting me in your movie, man."

• 1:11:12Speaker 02

  You're welcome.

• 1:11:13Bobby Lee?

  Okay, cool. Anyway, I haven't seen you in like 20 years, dude. And you were, you and your wife were so nice to me back in the day when we used to hang out.

• 1:11:20Speaker 02

  406-9734.

• 1:11:23Bobby Lee?

  That's how you do it.

• 1:11:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. That worked. That worked, didn't it?

• 1:11:27Bobby Lee?

  How'd you get John Myers?

• 1:11:27Andrew Santino?

  I'm gonna need you guys back on set, so.

• 1:11:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. How'd you get John Myers?

• 1:11:32Andrew Santino?

  His phone number?

• 1:11:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know how. Are you good friends with John Myers?

• 1:11:36Andrew Santino?

  What was that?

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, gay guy.

• 1:11:37Andrew Santino?

  Did you just go on, did you just go on AGT right there? What was that?

• 1:11:43Bobby Lee?

  How was your experience here, Howie? Did you have fun?

• 1:11:47Speaker 02

  That's a goodbye, isn't it?

• 1:11:48Andrew Santino?

  What's that?

• 1:11:49Speaker 02

  You have time this week to come do mine?

• 1:11:50Andrew Santino?

  I'm leaving tomorrow morning.

• 1:11:53Bobby Lee?

  Howie, Howie, he's never coming back. Let me be your agent here. He's never coming back.

• 1:11:58Speaker 02

  Where are you going tomorrow morning?

• 1:12:00Andrew Santino?

  Miami.

• 1:12:01Bobby Lee?

  Yes, a golf thing.

• 1:12:02Speaker 02

  With John Mayer.

• 1:12:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I actually am going with John. John is gonna fly me out.

• 1:12:10Bobby Lee?

  And I'm busy too.

• 1:12:12Speaker 02

  We come on?

• 1:12:13Andrew Santino?

  Now, do you know why? Do you know why I won't come back on the show?

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:12:16Andrew Santino?

  Because I don't do anybody else's podcasts, because I already do ours and mine, and that's all I want to... He can...

• 1:12:23Bobby Lee?

  Me too, me too.

• 1:12:24Andrew Santino?

  No, that's a lie. You do shit all the time?

• 1:12:26Bobby Lee?

  I have, I've been slowing down. Look at me today. I was all over the fucking...

• 1:12:29Andrew Santino?

  But ask these guys. Ask these guys if that's true. Do I do other shows?

• 1:12:31Speaker 05

  Well, you're starting a new one right now.

• 1:12:33Andrew Santino?

  No, my own, yeah. Yeah, no, but do I do other people's?

• 1:12:35Bobby Lee?

  Well, you're not doing...

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  Getting ready for whiskey?

• 1:12:38Bobby Lee?

  Whiskey?

• 1:12:38Andrew Santino?

  I probably gonna... Whiskey's gonna be around for a little bit, but I have to do the golf show. It's a show. It's a podcast, but it's a web show.

• 1:12:45Speaker 02

  So why won't you do mine?

• 1:12:46Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna do one too then.

• 1:12:48Speaker 02

  And...

• 1:12:48Bobby Lee?

  I will do my Star Trek one.

• 1:12:49Speaker 02

  Andrew, you didn't say that.

• 1:12:50Andrew Santino?

  You're more than welcome.

• 1:12:51Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:12:51Andrew Santino?

  Dude, honestly, I'd love to fold this podcast.

• 1:12:53Speaker 02

  So why not?

• 1:12:54Bobby Lee?

  No, forever.

• 1:12:54Andrew Santino?

  No, no, this thing is done.

• 1:12:55Bobby Lee?

  I won't do it then. You can do yours.

• 1:12:59Bobby Lee?

  Fuck, dude. Do everything you want.

• 1:13:00Speaker 02

  But Andrew.

• 1:13:01Andrew Santino?

  The fans, I'm sure the fans would like that, though.

• 1:13:03Speaker 02

  But you won't, so you won't?

• 1:13:05Andrew Santino?

  But it's two good organizers, you and Adam. Just two, like, guys that'll hunker down.

• 1:13:08Speaker 02

  You said, "I will in July when I'm back from tour."

• 1:13:11Andrew Santino?

  What is that?

• 1:13:12Speaker 02

  I said, "You wanna do the tour?" You said, "I will soon." Then I said, "Okay, give me a month or times." And you go, "I will in July when I'm back from tour." And then I read, "Are you ready for a podcast? Hey, brother, I shell in a bit. We're playing catch-up on our two shows, but I will."

• 1:13:28Andrew Santino?

  It's true. I will.

• 1:13:31Speaker 02

  And then I come here and say, "So, you ready?" You go, "I don't do podcasts."

• 1:13:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, sometimes he has to be direct.

• 1:13:38Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 1:13:39Speaker 05

  After a lot of my hands.

• 1:13:40Speaker 02

  Color me wrong.

• 1:13:41Andrew Santino?

  I'm texting it right now.

• 1:13:42Speaker 02

  I just got a DM. It says, "I don't do podcasts."

• 1:13:49Speaker 02

  So anyway, I gotta tell you, all kidding aside.

• 1:13:52Bobby Lee?

  I love you.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  I love you. I love you.

• 1:13:54Andrew Santino?

  Thank you. We love you.

• 1:13:55Speaker 02

  I watch everything you do. You're also really, both of you are really good actors.

• 1:13:59Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:14:00Bobby Lee?

  He's better. He's a better actor.

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  You've got to potty train yourself, young lady, and then you'll be somebody I'll appreciate.

• 1:14:08Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 1:14:09Speaker 02

  Okay? No, I'm serious. You gotta stop pooping.

• 1:14:11Speaker 06

  It's just sometimes.

• 1:14:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, but there should be no time.

• 1:14:14Bobby Lee?

  Isn't it weird that Howie Mandel's sitting next to you, or no?

• 1:14:17Speaker 06

  No.

• 1:14:17Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:14:18Speaker 02

  She's used to it. You're used to it, right?

• 1:14:20Bobby Lee?

  Because my assistant, you know, my assistant Melanie.

• 1:14:23Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:14:23Bobby Lee?

  The first time you called her.

• 1:14:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:25Bobby Lee?

  She called me freaking the fuck out.

• 1:14:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, but this girl.

• 1:14:27Bobby Lee?

  She goes, "What the fuck? Howie Mandel just called me."

• 1:14:30Speaker 02

  And do you not remember?

• 1:14:31Bobby Lee?

  He's a piece of shit.

• 1:14:32Speaker 02

  You got to remember, and do you remember when I came and did your show and she sat right beside me?

• 1:14:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  And you said, "Do you know who he is?"

• 1:14:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:39Speaker 02

  And what did she say? No.

• 1:14:42Speaker 06

  No.

• 1:14:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:43Speaker 02

  And I spent the next 20 minutes explaining deal or no deal to you.

• 1:14:46Bobby Lee?

  That's what I remember. I remember that.

• 1:14:48Andrew Santino?

  And at the end of it, she was like, "No deal."

• 1:14:52Bobby Lee?

  Howie, can you look in the camera and go, "Thank you for being a bad friend"?

• 1:14:56Speaker 02

  Thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:15:00Speaker 05

  I knew the whistle was coming.