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Transcript 16,203 words · 9 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Bobby Lee? Hello.
0:00 Andrew Santino? Hello, dear mate.
0:01 Bobby Lee? Mate.
0:02 Andrew Santino? I'm being so toast. And we're going to London, England, July 18th. And then July 19th, we'll be in Dublin, Ireland. Tickets are available right.
0:09 Bobby Lee? We never go to these places.
0:11 Andrew Santino? Never go to these places.
0:12 Bobby Lee? Once the show's done, you, we never come back.
0:15 Andrew Santino? We never come back.
0:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. So you gotta go.
0:17 Andrew Santino? You gotta go. So go to badfriendspod.com for those tickets. Badfriendspod.com.
0:21 Speaker 02 You two are bad friends.
0:23 Speaker 03 Who are these two idiots?
0:25 Speaker 02 White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
0:30 Speaker 03 Tell you two or something.
0:32 Speaker 02 We're bad friends.
0:33 Andrew Santino? Let me tell you something. You texted me today and you said, are you mad at me? Never.
0:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you do. You get angry. And you know what?
0:42 Andrew Santino? I've never been mad at you.
0:44 Bobby Lee? You have Dollywood.
0:46 Andrew Santino? Do you cancel sessions that are important to us? Yeah.
0:49 Bobby Lee? I know. That's what I'm talking about. It's an inner lingering.
0:52 Andrew Santino? No, no, no.
0:53 Bobby Lee? Slow burn of anger.
0:54 Andrew Santino? Hi, Rudy Jewels.
0:56 Bobby Lee? Look what we got for you. A normal chair.
0:59 Andrew Santino? Rudy.
1:00 Bobby Lee? Rudy.
1:01 Andrew Santino? Rudy.
1:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:02 Speaker 04 I haven't seen you since last year.
1:04 Andrew Santino? Do you miss me? I missed you, but you're going over to Tiger Belly. You're doing that all the time and you're really breaking my heart a little bit.
1:10 Speaker 04 No, because I.
1:11 Andrew Santino? No, no, no, no. We embraced you.
1:14 Bobby Lee? Not just Tiger Belly.
1:16 Andrew Santino? Oh, yeah, she's on.
1:16 Bobby Lee? Trash Tuesday, baby, where the money is.
1:21 Andrew Santino? So here's the problem.
1:21 Bobby Lee? You mean, and the followings and the glamour and the glitz.
1:25 Andrew Santino? We gave you your start.
1:26 Bobby Lee? Nothing.
1:28 Andrew Santino? She dropped us, dude. Well, you know what we are? We're, we are the, the guy that.
1:33 Bobby Lee? Exactly, dude.
1:34 Andrew Santino? She dated before she got famous.
1:35 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
1:36 Andrew Santino? And she drops us. No, she got famous. You know, the, the first guy that you date.
1:39 Bobby Lee? I'll even do one you better, dude.
1:41 Andrew Santino? Yeah, give it.
1:41 Bobby Lee? Right? We're the hot guy, right, that she dated.
1:44 Andrew Santino? I disagree with the first part.
1:46 Bobby Lee? But just hear my point.
1:47 Andrew Santino? We're the medium guy.
1:48 Bobby Lee? We're the medium guy, but then she got, blew up and went uglier.
1:51 Andrew Santino? Oh, yeah.
1:52 Bobby Lee? That's what I meant. That's what I meant.
1:53 Andrew Santino? Interesting.
1:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm gonna go just, I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go downtown.
1:57 Andrew Santino? What's been going on, Jules?
1:59 Speaker 04 I've just been dissecting animals.
2:01 Andrew Santino? God bless.
2:02 Bobby Lee? God bless you.
2:03 Speaker 04 Rats and earthworms and um the crickets.
2:09 Andrew Santino? How are you dissecting earthworms? They're so small. You're using the tiniest little knife?
2:13 Speaker 04 Yeah, and it's really fun, especially with the rats.
2:15 Andrew Santino? You love dissecting rats?
2:16 Bobby Lee? She went too ugly and also just ghosted.
2:20 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
2:21 Bobby Lee? The hot guy.
2:22 Andrew Santino? Well, as soon as, as soon as, here's what really happened.
2:25 Bobby Lee? But tell me the science behind it.
2:27 Andrew Santino? As soon as she left this show and you and Kalila broke up and she started to get away from our show.
2:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
2:34 Andrew Santino? That's when she was like, I don't need to talk to Tito Andrew ever again. And she.
2:38 Bobby Lee? That seems to be the truth.
2:39 Andrew Santino? It's the truth.
2:40 Bobby Lee? That seems to be the reality of the situation.
2:43 Andrew Santino? Did I show you nothing but love for four years?
2:44 Bobby Lee? Pure love. It's the kind of love, it's the kind of love Mother Teresa gave.
2:48 Andrew Santino? Same.
2:48 Bobby Lee? To the pores.
2:49 Andrew Santino? Exact same.
2:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. It's that kind of.
2:51 Andrew Santino? Undisioned.
2:53 Bobby Lee? No, unhinged, that's not, that's.
2:53 Andrew Santino? Undying.
2:54 Bobby Lee? Undying love. That's what I meant, anyway.
2:56 Andrew Santino? Ladies and gentlemen, Rudy Jewels is back. Rudy Giuliani is back in the studio.
3:01 Bobby Lee? He's back in the studio.
3:01 Andrew Santino? Are you happy to be back?
3:02 Speaker 04 I'm happy.
3:03 Andrew Santino? Who of the people here are you happiest to see? Let's go in order. Happiest to least happy to see. Go ahead.
3:08 Speaker 04 First is you.
3:09 Andrew Santino? Thank you.
3:10 Speaker 04 Andres.
3:11 Andrew Santino? Yes.
3:13 Speaker 04 Carlos.
3:14 Andrew Santino? Awesome.
3:15 Speaker 04 Maccone.
3:16 Andrew Santino? Love that. And Bobby's sep- you're separated. It doesn't count because she sees you all the time. We see, she sees you all the time.
3:21 Bobby Lee? I'm not even on the list. What?
3:22 Andrew Santino? You're.
3:23 Bobby Lee? I cannot believe that.
3:24 Speaker 04 I always.
3:25 Bobby Lee? Let me ask you, lady.
3:26 Andrew Santino? You see her every day.
3:27 Bobby Lee? There was a fire long ago, right?
3:29 Speaker 04 Yeah.
3:30 Bobby Lee? Right? Was there not a fire long ago? Right?
3:32 Andrew Santino? The Great Chicago Fire?
3:33 Bobby Lee? No, The Great LA Fire.
3:35 Andrew Santino? Oh, the lovely.
3:35 Bobby Lee? People are running, you know what I mean?
3:36 Andrew Santino? Help!
3:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, running, right?
3:38 Andrew Santino? Help!
3:39 Bobby Lee? Right? I get a call, can you harbor and take care of?
3:43 Andrew Santino? Filipino immigrants.
3:44 Bobby Lee? Little Jewels?
3:45 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
3:45 Bobby Lee? And the dogs? And I said, kindly, my heart is out to you.
3:51 Andrew Santino? My heart goes out.
3:52 Bobby Lee? And you know what happens to that heart?
3:54 Andrew Santino? Hmm.
3:56 Bobby Lee? They pee on it.
3:57 Andrew Santino? They piss on your heart.
3:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
3:58 Andrew Santino? You piss, you squat on his chest.
4:00 Bobby Lee? In the yellowest pee you've ever seen.
4:02 Andrew Santino? Wow.
4:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah, Jimmy Oh Yang yellow.
4:04 Andrew Santino? Wow.
4:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that's the most yellow you can get.
4:06 Andrew Santino? Right, very bright. That is a bright star.
4:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
4:09 Andrew Santino? Well, I'll say this, I'm glad that you're back. I love that you put McCon last. He is the least important of the crew. Although, he did have a fun time at my special and then he went and jumped in the, uh... What'd you do? You jumped in the lake?
4:22 Speaker 05 Yeah, the polar plunge.
4:23 Andrew Santino? He did a polar plunge and all the, all the proceeds went to... So all the proceeds went, it was for Special Olympics? So, here's what they do. All the money they collected, they rounded up all of these strong people to throw handicap people into the lake.
4:36 Speaker 05 Handicap people?
4:38 Andrew Santino? Yeah, people with Down syndrome, they threw them in the lake.
4:40 Bobby Lee? That guy does not have Down syndrome, does he?
4:41 Andrew Santino? He does. Well, he does after he gets out of that lake.
4:43 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, shaped Down syndrome, but I don't think he has.
4:48 Andrew Santino? Down syndrome shaped?
4:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, the shape, yeah.
4:50 Andrew Santino? So what, the money I donated to you went to where? I hope it didn't go to you.
4:54 Bobby Lee? And how much did I donate?
4:56 Speaker 05 None.
4:56 Bobby Lee? Exactly. I don't believe in it.
4:58 Andrew Santino? You didn't give them any money?
4:59 Bobby Lee? I don't believe in the fucking cause.
5:00 Andrew Santino? It's for Special Olympics.
5:04 Andrew Santino? Go ahead.
5:06 Bobby Lee? It is?
5:07 Andrew Santino? It was all for Special Olympics.
5:09 Speaker 05 I said that in the text.
5:10 Andrew Santino? That's why I gave them...
5:11 Bobby Lee? I thought it was doing a joke, like you were in the special. I didn't read it.
5:14 Andrew Santino? Well, I know you didn't read it.
5:15 Bobby Lee? I just heard, I just read Special Olympics, he was trying to make fun of me.
5:17 Andrew Santino? You think he's attacking you?
5:18 Bobby Lee? He's attacking me, so I didn't read the whole thing. Yeah, don't put that in there next time. But you don't get anything. But, um, whoa.
5:25 Andrew Santino? I am happy that that money went to there. So you jumped in the river. I told you not to jump in the lake. I could've just given you the money.
5:31 Speaker 05 No, it's fine.
5:32 Bobby Lee? Was it cold?
5:33 Speaker 05 It was 12 degrees outside.
5:34 Bobby Lee? Was it cold?
5:34 Andrew Santino? How cold was the water?
5:35 Speaker 05 Water was 33 degrees.
5:37 Andrew Santino? Love it. And how long did you stay in for? No chance you lasted.
5:40 Speaker 05 No, I was under and out immediately.
5:42 Andrew Santino? You went head, underneath? That's smart, that's good.
5:44 Speaker 05 It's deep enough to where you kinda have to.
5:47 Andrew Santino? Have you ever done a polar plunge? Have you ever jumped in a freezing cold lake or body of water?
5:50 Speaker 05 No. Did you go naked? No, I was just wearing shorts, shorts.
5:54 Andrew Santino? All the Special Olympics kids were naked for sure. There's no doubt. They can't keep their clothes on.
5:58 Bobby Lee? I mean, I'm tired of having this up. But let me say something.
6:01 Andrew Santino? Time out. You're tired? It's 7:00 PM. We did this, we moved this shoot till nighttime. You got back from San Francisco at 9 a.m. What'd you do today?
6:12 Bobby Lee? Okay, so all weekend, I did not sleep at all.
6:15 Andrew Santino? You were doing shows?
6:16 Bobby Lee? I know, did not sleep.
6:17 Andrew Santino? How?
6:18 Bobby Lee? I just couldn't, it was so cold and the heat was too heat. I don't like that when the heat's too heat, you know what I mean?
6:23 Andrew Santino? What is your perfect optimal room temperature in a hotel?
6:25 Bobby Lee? Probably a 70.
6:26 Andrew Santino? You know, you can set that right on the thing.
6:28 Bobby Lee? I know, but what happens is it's so cold through the window.
6:30 Andrew Santino? Oh.
6:31 Bobby Lee? It combines. And it, and there's a horrific.
6:34 Andrew Santino? Oh, it's like when the Atlantic and the Pacific meet.
6:36 Bobby Lee? It's like, no, I'm more like an angel and the demon.
6:39 Andrew Santino? Oh.
6:39 Bobby Lee? And they're dancing in the air. And I mean, and I don't really like that. Dancing in the air. Yeah, you know?
6:45 Andrew Santino? Did you have, did you have a hotel with a bathtub?
6:49 Bobby Lee? It's a combo, combo. You, you see at the Hotel Zoe?
6:52 Andrew Santino? The Zo.
6:53 Bobby Lee? The Zo.
6:53 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
6:54 Bobby Lee? Is that not Zoe?
6:55 Andrew Santino? I don't know, actually.
6:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:56 Andrew Santino? I did that last time, I didn't this time, but it's a combo tub shower.
6:59 Bobby Lee? It's, I don't like it. But you know what I do like?
7:01 Andrew Santino? Huh?
7:01 Bobby Lee? And it's polite. Okay, sometimes it's a combo shower, bath. But if you want to take a fucking shower, you have to actually go in the tub and do the shower.
7:11 Andrew Santino? Mm-hmm.
7:11 Bobby Lee? And then you get wet.
7:12 Andrew Santino? Head out.
7:12 Bobby Lee? But you know what this clever fucking friend has? A little window.
7:16 Andrew Santino? Oh, you put your arm through?
7:17 Bobby Lee? You are, put your arm through and you open it.
7:18 Andrew Santino? I remember that.
7:19 Bobby Lee? You remember that?
7:19 Andrew Santino? Yeah, that's right.
7:19 Bobby Lee? And it's a clever little Zoza.
7:21 Andrew Santino? Smart.
7:21 Bobby Lee? I like it.
7:21 Andrew Santino? I don't like the shower tubs because I feel like I'm gonna slip and that is exactly how I die. I'm already prone to slipping in bathrooms, hitting my head on the thing.
7:29 Bobby Lee? Well, we've heard the story.
7:29 Andrew Santino? I know.
7:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
7:30 Andrew Santino? So I don't need to do it and say, and they have earthquakes up there, imagine.
7:33 Bobby Lee? I imagine.
7:34 Andrew Santino? Imagine if it happened to me twice.
7:35 Bobby Lee? But, but I hadn't been in, back to Cobb's. That was the, that was, the last time I was there when, is when Ken Jeong attacked me in the green room.
7:42 Andrew Santino? How long ago is this?
7:43 Bobby Lee? Like 15 years ago. So I pointed to all my openers, this is where it happened. And I positioned the chairs. He turned around like this.
7:51 Andrew Santino? How nice is Cobb's?
7:53 Bobby Lee? I, honestly? And then I did, after that, I did a MySpace corporate show.
7:58 Andrew Santino? Wow.
7:59 Bobby Lee? With Al Madrigal.
8:00 Andrew Santino? Wow.
8:00 Bobby Lee? Ian Edwards. Natasha Leggero. It's, it's, ask everyone that works there. When I got off stage, I started to cry, I bombed so bad. And then I went into the kitchen.
8:10 Andrew Santino? Well, MySpace isn't even around anymore, is it?
8:12 Bobby Lee? That's how long ago it was. And I got on my hands and knees and I vowed to the gods, I'll never play her again. I've always had bad luck there.
8:18 Andrew Santino? At Cobb's or in?
8:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so I haven't been there for like 15 years.
8:21 Andrew Santino? God, MySpace is still active.
8:23 Bobby Lee? It's still active, yeah. I wonder what MySpace looks like.
8:26 Andrew Santino? Go to Bobby Lee on MySpace, let's see what that looks like.
8:28 Bobby Lee? I don't think I, there's no, they gotta, they got rid of it, they got rid of it.
8:31 Andrew Santino? It's gone.
8:32 Speaker 06 Jorin's profile picture.
8:35 Andrew Santino? You never had MySpace, did you?
8:38 Speaker 04 I had. My aunt made it for me, but I just didn't know what to do.
8:41 Bobby Lee? They didn't have internet back then, so they had to physically make it.
8:46 Bobby Lee? They physically make a space for her. And this is my aunt.
8:49 Andrew Santino? This is MySpace.
8:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. And she sits in a little fucking hole.
8:53 Andrew Santino? They just go around all day, around Subu going, "That's MySpace, that's MySpace."
8:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. And then you draw your friends, right? Your top 10. You draw the faces.
9:02 Andrew Santino? On the walls?
9:02 Bobby Lee? On the wall, yeah, yeah.
9:03 Andrew Santino? Walls with fire?
9:04 Bobby Lee? It's really good. Yeah, with fire, yeah, so it's cool.
9:06 Andrew Santino? Tell me what's been going on in your life, Jules. I am interested to know.
9:08 Speaker 04 Well, I'm graduating.
9:10 Andrew Santino? Look, hold on. Look at my finger.
9:12 Bobby Lee? What's going on with you?
9:13 Andrew Santino? It's been doing this. Look at him.
9:14 Bobby Lee? Oh my god, he has that disease.
9:17 Speaker 04 Parkinson's?
9:18 Andrew Santino? Give me back that polar plunge money.
9:21 Andrew Santino? What's been going on?
9:22 Speaker 04 I'm graduating this May, so if you guys don't wanna come.
9:25 Andrew Santino? No, we don't wanna come.
9:26 Bobby Lee? To your graduation? I'm going.
9:28 Andrew Santino? Of course we wanna go. What are we talking? Of course we wanna, we'll do-
9:30 Bobby Lee? We wear a suit? What do we happen? You know what we'll, you know what we'll dress like men in black?
9:34 Speaker 04 No, just casual.
9:36 Andrew Santino? No, you know what we'll do? We'll get the suits from Dumb and Dumber.
9:40 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah.
9:40 Andrew Santino? Can we wear those? Let's pull the-
9:42 Bobby Lee? We're gonna be bright.
9:44 Andrew Santino? I wanna wear those.
9:45 Bobby Lee? I'm gonna bleach my hair. I'm gonna wear funny goggles.
9:48 Andrew Santino? Dude, Dumb and Dumber suits, can we, look at that. You and me, that's 100, we have to wear them.
9:52 Bobby Lee? We're gonna dress up.
9:53 Andrew Santino? That's you and me.
9:54 Bobby Lee? Are you gonna really do that, though?
9:55 Andrew Santino? I'll do it with you.
9:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, let's do it.
9:57 Speaker 04 Okay, it's on May, so I'll get your tickets.
10:00 Andrew Santino? On May. Well, so school worked well.
10:01 Bobby Lee? Can I tell you?
10:03 Speaker 04 In May.
10:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, May, okay.
10:06 Andrew Santino? So it's in May?
10:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
10:07 Andrew Santino? And then is there an after-party? I mean, I'm not going unless there's an after-party. You're not throwing a graduating party?
10:15 Speaker 04 No.
10:15 Andrew Santino? You have to throw a party, that's how-
10:17 Bobby Lee? How about boba milk tea? You love that.
10:18 Andrew Santino? A little boba tea party. You know what?
10:20 Bobby Lee? We'll set it up.
10:21 Andrew Santino? We'll get a boba truck.
10:22 Bobby Lee? Boba truck, boba milk party.
10:23 Andrew Santino? Let's do that.
10:24 Speaker 04 Okay.
10:25 Bobby Lee? Okay.
10:25 Andrew Santino? That sounds fun. Look at that. That's what we wanna do. We wanna party. And you gotta throw your hat.
10:29 Bobby Lee? And then three years from now, from the sodas, they work at fucking Chipotle.
10:34 Bobby Lee? That's mean.
10:34 Andrew Santino? Underneath there, should just say, "Corn or flower," right underneath.
10:37 Bobby Lee? I'm off today. I'm off today.
10:38 Andrew Santino? You're getting back.
10:39 Bobby Lee? I'm getting back.
10:39 Andrew Santino? You're fine. We're gonna hum right into it.
10:41 Bobby Lee? So, um...
10:42 Andrew Santino? What are you gonna write on your, on your cap? You have to write like an inspirational quote. You know that, right?
10:46 Speaker 04 I have to write?
10:47 Andrew Santino? I mean, people do that. That's like a thing, right? They write something inspirational on their, on the top of their hat.
10:53 Andrew Santino? "We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one." A. Canadian.
10:58 Bobby Lee? Canadian, yeah.
11:00 Andrew Santino? "Count all of your blessings." "Something your dreams," I can't say. Uh, "Remember your dreams." Jimmy Buffett said that. A man of many quotes. It is 5 o'clock somewhere.
11:11 Bobby Lee? I want negative ones, though. You know what I mean? Create chaos. Like a Joker. Like, what a Jo- what would Joker say?
11:16 Speaker 07 So incelly.
11:19 Bobby Lee? What?
11:19 Speaker 07 You're like into the Joker.
11:20 Andrew Santino? It is so incelly.
11:22 Bobby Lee? What I mean, eat the rich, no?
11:24 Andrew Santino? Yeah, eat the rich.
11:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:26 Andrew Santino? That's so funny to write that on your cap. They're gonna frisk her, then they're gonna think she's gonna shoot up the graduation. I mean, you're already wearing a long gown.
11:34 Bobby Lee? What would a, what would a Korean Joker feel like?
11:38 Andrew Santino? Oh, Korean Joker.
11:43 Bobby Lee? A Korean Joker.
11:48 Bobby Lee? Where we were at?
11:49 Andrew Santino? Enjoy your kimchi.
11:51 Bobby Lee? Enjoy a kimchi? Where we were at?
11:53 Andrew Santino? He poisoned the kimchi at graduation.
11:56 Bobby Lee? You know what I'm saying? Why would I say "we're at"?
11:57 Andrew Santino? Whereer?
11:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
11:58 Andrew Santino? What?
11:59 Bobby Lee? Riddler.
11:59 Andrew Santino? Oh, where Riddler?
12:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Where we were at?
12:03 Andrew Santino? What happened? There was a Korean, there was actually a Korean Joker?
12:06 Speaker 07 Yeah, he was, uh, targeting, uh, F-.
12:08 Bobby Lee? Fentanyl?
12:09 Speaker 07 A feminist group.
12:10 Bobby Lee? Oh, feminist group, yeah.
12:11 Andrew Santino? So he was an anti, anti fem-? No, no, no. Activists harassed and targeted by anti-feminist groups. He kept following us and shouting. We were terrified.
12:18 Bobby Lee? We were in South Korea?
12:20 Speaker 07 Yeah.
12:20 Bobby Lee? That's insane. We support the women. We really do.
12:23 Andrew Santino? Crazy. Did you get pussy in San Francisco?
12:25 Bobby Lee? No, I, what happened was this, and I did one of my old-school high school tricks.
12:29 Andrew Santino? Oh.
12:30 Bobby Lee? Oh, you wanna guess what it is? I'll talk about it.
12:32 Andrew Santino? Yeah, you show up to the party.
12:34 Bobby Lee? There's no party.
12:35 Andrew Santino? High on drugs.
12:35 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, no, no.
12:36 Andrew Santino? You go in the corner, you masturbate, you go home.
12:38 Bobby Lee? No, you go cute, you go cute.
12:40 Andrew Santino? You go cutesy.
12:40 Bobby Lee? Right, so what happened was, she came to a show. So there's this girl I met years ago on Instagram. Pretty, very pretty. And then she kinda like disappeared from the DMs. But then she's like, can I get a ticket? Cause they're sold out, right? So I get her in, I do come up, you know, some high school friends came up, then she comes up. And then I invited her to dinner with the gang, you know, we go to the dinner. And then I kissed, that show for some reason, ten dudes.
13:06 Bobby Lee? From stage.
13:07 Andrew Santino? She don't kiss ten dudes with us.
13:09 Bobby Lee? I know, but I did.
13:10 Andrew Santino? Ten guys?
13:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I just, everyone would do it.
13:12 Andrew Santino? Wow, yeah.
13:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she was like, how come you don't kiss me? So in the car ride, I had made her drive by, I go, let's just do a kiss, right? I went, like that, we kissed like that.
13:22 Andrew Santino? A pack.
13:23 Bobby Lee? It's just a pack, and I go, let's do it again. Right?
13:27 Andrew Santino? Whoa, a little stronger pack.
13:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Let's do it again.
13:29 Andrew Santino? A little Gregory pack. Oh.
13:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:32 Andrew Santino? Samuel French.
13:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, you Pearl Harbor it.
13:34 Andrew Santino? Right.
13:35 Bobby Lee? Right? And then we just made out the whole time in the car.
13:37 Andrew Santino? Whoa, how long is a make out now?
13:40 Bobby Lee? In 2025?
13:41 Andrew Santino? Well, here's the deal.
13:43 Bobby Lee? I don't get the.
13:44 Andrew Santino? Well, here's why.
13:44 Bobby Lee? I don't get the.
13:46 Andrew Santino? I don't know.
13:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
13:47 Andrew Santino? No, I don't, I don't know, like, because if I'm making out with my wife, it's cause we're gonna, we're hooking up. You're making out as a setup, I'm saying how.
13:54 Bobby Lee? No, I'm making up because, remember I haven't been jerking off?
13:58 Andrew Santino? Right, what are you, now you're loaded for a month?
13:59 Bobby Lee? Like 12 days or whatever?
14:01 Andrew Santino? Pretty good.
14:01 Bobby Lee? Right? Not last night.
14:04 Andrew Santino? Yeah, you had to.
14:05 Bobby Lee? Right? And then my penis went, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
14:09 Andrew Santino? Old boy Dave woke up.
14:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, old boy Dave. I wanna fight. Let's go, black guy, whatever.
14:17 Andrew Santino? Bing, bing, bing.
14:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, um, and when you, you know, when you're, when you're making out with somebody, it, you know, your body, it's just biological, right?
14:25 Andrew Santino? Yeah, right.
14:26 Bobby Lee? You're just super horny.
14:27 Andrew Santino? Well, that's the, that's the, that's the.
14:28 Bobby Lee? And I just, you know, four pumps, and a fucking marshmallow came out. Yeah, it was so thick, it hurt. Like, it's like wood glue coming out of your penis.
14:39 Andrew Santino? Oh, wow.
14:39 Bobby Lee? It hurt so bad. And it was just, it was like all, it was like a pancake batter.
14:43 Andrew Santino? Ah.
14:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, like, am I Aunt Jemima, what's going on around here, dude? It was like, you know what I mean, it was like, you're right.
14:49 Andrew Santino? Wait, I know you, I know you meant pancake, but you said can cake? And somehow, can cake is thicker than pancake.
14:55 Bobby Lee? It is.
14:55 Andrew Santino? I agree. It's the thickest.
14:57 Bobby Lee? I meant to say can cake.
14:58 Andrew Santino? Can cake batter is the thickest.
14:59 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Can cake batter is the best. What is can cake?
15:00 Andrew Santino? So wait a minute. Little kissy session, and then never talk to her again. That's it?
15:04 Bobby Lee? I don't know.
15:05 Andrew Santino? Maybe more.
15:06 Bobby Lee? Well, you know, um, and this is a message to everybody.
15:13 Andrew Santino? Beep beep beep beep beep.
15:13 Bobby Lee? You're high, huh?
15:15 Speaker 07 Me?
15:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Why are you giggling at that, then?
15:17 Speaker 07 Because on dress, made me laugh.
15:18 Bobby Lee? Okay, so, uh, may I make a message to the women?
15:21 Speaker 07 You may.
15:22 Andrew Santino? Ladies and gentlemen, a message for the women.
15:25 Bobby Lee? I'm ready for a relationship.
15:26 Andrew Santino? Oh. He wants to settle down.
15:30 Bobby Lee? But the dam has to break.
15:32 Andrew Santino? I don't know what that means.
15:35 Bobby Lee? What?
15:36 Andrew Santino? I don't know what that means.
15:36 Bobby Lee? Well, I'm a poet.
15:38 Andrew Santino? I know.
15:38 Bobby Lee? And so just figure out what that means.
15:40 Andrew Santino? All right, Hemingway, let me think.
15:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
15:42 Andrew Santino? The dam has to break means...
15:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
15:45 Andrew Santino? Oh.
15:46 Bobby Lee? That's right.
15:46 Andrew Santino? I get it.
15:47 Bobby Lee? What is it?
15:48 Andrew Santino? You want a squirter?
15:51 Andrew Santino? Is that... no?
15:52 Bobby Lee? Is this a part of it?
15:52 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
15:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah. No, what I'm saying is, is that, I think I used the wrong terminology.
15:56 Andrew Santino? I think so, yeah.
15:57 Bobby Lee? I think so, yeah. What?
15:58 Speaker 04 Your penis has to break?
15:59 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, no, no, no.
16:00 Andrew Santino? Well, you do have to break him in like a new pair of shoes.
16:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
16:04 Andrew Santino? You gotta break in that weener.
16:04 Bobby Lee? No, I mean, just the, um...
16:08 Bobby Lee? The next person I like, and that, you know, I mean, there's intimacy and stuff, I think I might go for it. We're long-term-y.
16:14 Andrew Santino? Really?
16:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
16:15 Andrew Santino? But it's gotta be the one.
16:16 Bobby Lee? It's gotta be the one, yeah.
16:17 Andrew Santino? You're ready, ready.
16:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah, because, you know, um, some people treat me like I'm still open mic or bop.
16:24 Andrew Santino? Who's that?
16:25 Bobby Lee? Open mic or bop?
16:26 Andrew Santino? Who treats you that way?
16:27 Bobby Lee? That was me for 30 years ago. What?
16:29 Andrew Santino? You mean women?
16:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
16:30 Andrew Santino? I don't treat... no one...
16:31 Bobby Lee? They're just always like, "Yeah, like, you know, I can do better."
16:34 Andrew Santino? Oh.
16:35 Bobby Lee? That kind of mentality. And I'm like, "I don't think so."
16:38 Andrew Santino? I don't think so.
16:39 Speaker 07 No, in L.A., you can.
16:40 Bobby Lee? What?
16:41 Speaker 07 You can do better than the comedian in L.A. It's like the city where Leonardo DiCaprio lives.
16:45 Bobby Lee? You can do better?
16:47 Speaker 07 Yeah. Like, if you're dating celebrities, like, you can go way higher.
16:50 Andrew Santino? He's shooting today. I could tell. He came with a couple loaded. He's ready.
16:54 Bobby Lee? Okay. Oh, God.
16:55 Speaker 07 He's got these chamomile, he's like such a handsome guy.
16:57 Bobby Lee? I, I, I understand what you're saying, dude.
16:59 Andrew Santino? Have you ever had chamomile's, uh, uh, can cake batter?
17:03 Speaker 07 No, I would.
17:03 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
17:04 Andrew Santino? I would! Yeah, I know you would, you fucking pervert.
17:06 Bobby Lee? I would, I would have it. But I want to say, let me direct, direct you, okay? Um, that's rude.
17:13 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
17:14 Bobby Lee? And what I'm saying is, is that, um, Leo's one guy.
17:19 Bobby Lee? Right? That he's And he wants He's up with so many I know, but he wants 25 or younger and supermodel. Like you. That's not my demographic, no. I'm, I'm, the girl that I made out with last night was 33.
17:31 Andrew Santino? That's good.
17:32 Bobby Lee? Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, I understand. Yeah, you understand what I'm saying? So it's like, you know, I'm not, it's not the same pool that we're fishing from. Emperor. Yeah. What I'm saying to you is that I've seen your pool as well. Okay? Oh, that's so funny. I can expose some, I can expose something about you as well, right? I went out with a girl. This guy flew out all the way to New York. Oh, my God.
17:51 Andrew Santino? Also, first of all, you're in a pool, you're in a pond. Let's be very.
17:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, exactly. Thank you so, so much, right?
17:55 Andrew Santino? But also, but also, you flew to New York to go see somebody?
17:58 Bobby Lee? Mm-hmm.
17:58 Andrew Santino? That's why you went to New York. I wondered why you left.
18:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, exactly. Well, actually, I told you before.
18:03 Andrew Santino? Wait, no, you told me you were going out there, but not to see somebody?
18:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. I was. And I want to say, like Ali Wong in her book. Ali Wong in her book, right? She says.
18:12 Andrew Santino? She has a book?
18:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
18:13 Andrew Santino? Oh, I didn't know that.
18:14 Bobby Lee? And there's a little paragraph about me.
18:16 Andrew Santino? Oh, that's so nice.
18:17 Bobby Lee? And then when she came to LA, I didn't hit on her, I showed her around, right? I met her places and I go, this is where you eat, this is where the good clubs, this and that, right?
18:24 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
18:25 Bobby Lee? I showed them the ropes. There's no sexual intention there. I. And you know that that's what I'm like. All my openers are women and they're all just friends.
18:33 Andrew Santino? So you.
18:33 Bobby Lee? So what you're doing right now? What you're doing is hiding in plain sight. Like Predator.
18:40 Bobby Lee? Just like Predator. Yeah, yeah. Just like Predator the movie. ShipStation. Live.
18:47 Andrew Santino? Live.
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18:51 Andrew Santino? It can.
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19:10 Andrew Santino? Have merch.
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19:49 Bobby Lee? Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the ShipStation software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today.
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19:59 Bobby Lee? That's shipstation.com code.
20:00 Andrew Santino? BADFRIENDS.
20:01 Bobby Lee? Talkspace.
20:02 Andrew Santino? Therapy can be costly, okay, but Talkspace is affordable and in-network with most insurance providers and most insured members have a $0 copay. Bobby and I both like to talk to somebody.
20:12 Bobby Lee? We, we do and I want to say, I honestly believe that Talkspace is the best in the business when it comes to this kind of form of therapy. Talkspace therapy and psychiatry are covered by many insurance plans and employers. Most insured members have a $0 copay.
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20:39 Bobby Lee? Hovercraft.
20:40 Andrew Santino? And your hovercraft, by the way, they're hovercraft friendly. Talkspace is the leading virtual therapy provider and they make getting the help that you need easy, accessible and affordable. You gotta try it, okay?
20:50 Bobby Lee? As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.com/badfriends and enter promo code SPACE80.
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21:11 Bobby Lee? SPACE80. True classic.
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21:27 Bobby Lee? If James Dean, his T McQueen was still alive, that's all they've been wearing is True Classic.
21:33 Andrew Santino? It's a fact.
21:33 Bobby Lee? Because they're classic men.
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22:32 Bobby Lee? That's trueclassic.com/badfriends. Shop now and elevate your wardrobe today.
22:37 Andrew Santino? You're jet setting now because of the show.
22:40 Speaker 07 Of course.
22:40 Andrew Santino? And it's great and I'm proud of you.
22:42 Speaker 07 Thank you.
22:42 Andrew Santino? I do want.
22:43 Bobby Lee? It can end.
22:44 Andrew Santino? Oh.
22:46 Speaker 07 Bob, what I.
22:47 Andrew Santino? Well, let the emperor speak.
22:49 Bobby Lee? You know, I treat you like a peer. All of you guys.
22:53 Speaker 07 So great.
22:54 Andrew Santino? Maybe, maybe better than a peer.
22:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, like Alex Costa, you know him?
22:57 Andrew Santino? No clue.
22:58 Bobby Lee? Oh, he works for me.
23:00 Andrew Santino? What?
23:01 Bobby Lee? On Tiger Belly.
23:01 Speaker 04 Alex, why?
23:03 Bobby Lee? We go into Panagonia yesterday and I'm gonna buy something. He goes, Bob, can I buy some, buy me something? I go, yeah. And I go to the register and I'm bringing things in and it's $600. And the thing I bought was 80.
23:18 Andrew Santino? What did he buy?
23:18 Bobby Lee? This fucking complex winter jacket. Right?
23:22 Andrew Santino? You bought it, though.
23:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
23:23 Andrew Santino? You did.
23:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. I was so livid. Right? And what I'm saying is you guys treat me like that, too. Like we're peers and want to say this to you, right? And it's not a threat. It's an order.
23:35 Bobby Lee? Right?
23:35 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
23:36 Speaker 07 This is Trump and Zelensky. I'm Zelensky.
23:39 Bobby Lee? I'm Zelensky for sure. Yeah, you attacked me first.
23:41 Speaker 07 No, this is-
23:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Putin.
23:44 Speaker 07 I like that.
23:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, you do.
23:46 Andrew Santino? Yeah, you're closer to Putin.
23:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you're closer to Putin. So what I'm saying to you is that I love you, right?
23:50 Speaker 07 I love you too.
23:51 Bobby Lee? But it could end. The dream could end.
23:53 Speaker 07 I'm aware-
23:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You too, McConaughey, and you too. Yeah.
23:59 Bobby Lee? He goes, "Me?"
24:01 Andrew Santino? He's actually been good.
24:02 Bobby Lee? He's great.
24:03 Andrew Santino? And also, let's be real about the Patagonia jacket.
24:05 Speaker 04 That's crazy.
24:06 Andrew Santino? You fucking loved buying that. You love that. You know you did. Because it's a power move now. Now you have that over that kid. Remember when I bought you that fucking jacket?
24:15 Bobby Lee? And shoes?
24:16 Andrew Santino? That's what I'm saying. You're gonna use that as, that's chess. You play chess. A lot of people look at you and think, "Checkers." Chinese-
24:22 Bobby Lee? No, no, no one thinks checkers. Everyone thinks chess!
24:25 Andrew Santino? Guys.
24:26 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Maigao, or whatever.
24:29 Andrew Santino? Pai-gao.
24:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:29 Andrew Santino? A lot of people look at you and they think Pai-gao.
24:32 Bobby Lee? Pai-gao, yeah, yeah.
24:32 Andrew Santino? But you're actually playing savant-level street-
24:35 Bobby Lee? Russian opening?
24:36 Andrew Santino? Chess.
24:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:37 Andrew Santino? Yeah, yeah, seriously, you are. Because he's done this since I've known him.
24:40 Bobby Lee? A castle, en passant. You know what en passant is?
24:43 Andrew Santino? En passant. And you have little pawns all over the place, right? And you're the queen.
24:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
24:47 Andrew Santino? You are the queen. And you've always been the queen.
24:49 Bobby Lee? I'm the king?
24:50 Andrew Santino? No, buddy, you're the queen.
24:51 Bobby Lee? I'm the queen.
24:52 Andrew Santino? The queen is by far the most powerful piece in chess.
24:53 Bobby Lee? Alright.
24:54 Andrew Santino? You should know that. You play chess. I'm the king.
24:57 Bobby Lee? You're the king. Okay, you're the king.
24:58 Andrew Santino? Because we're partners.
24:59 Bobby Lee? Bishop. Andreas.
25:01 Andrew Santino? Rook, rook, rook, rook, rook.
25:02 Bobby Lee? He's a rook. Yeah, he's a rook. All rooks.
25:04 Andrew Santino? Oh, no, no, no, no.
25:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:05 Andrew Santino? McConaughey's a pawn.
25:07 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, pawn, pawn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is, uh-
25:10 Andrew Santino? Carlos, you know, honestly?
25:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, knight.
25:12 Andrew Santino? He might be a knight.
25:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, cuz he goes, he lies.
25:16 Andrew Santino? Oh, he deceives.
25:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. L, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, L, you know what I mean? Yeah, what is she? She's a bishop.
25:24 Andrew Santino? She is a bishop. Angles, angles.
25:26 Bobby Lee? Angles, angles.
25:26 Andrew Santino? Precise attacked. Watch this, watch this, watch this. That's how good she is at attacks and angles. Ready?
25:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
25:32 Andrew Santino? You have the floor.
25:34 Speaker 04 Your mom's a hoe.
25:35 Andrew Santino? Okay, see?
25:39 Andrew Santino? It's an attacked angle.
25:43 Andrew Santino? You little fucker.
25:46 Bobby Lee? That was so good.
25:48 Andrew Santino? You little fucker.
25:48 Bobby Lee? You are a good fucker though.
25:49 Andrew Santino? Well, so she is.
25:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was Bishop moves there. Yeah, that's great.
25:53 Andrew Santino? So we have it all figured out in the studio.
25:54 Bobby Lee? He's so mad at you. You don't know about this guy? Those little things? They seep into his-
25:59 Andrew Santino? You know what's really funny?
26:00 Bobby Lee? Look at him, red his face.
26:01 Andrew Santino? You know what's funny?
26:02 Speaker 04 You said to attack!
26:04 Andrew Santino? I know. I could never be mad at you. It really, it kinda sucks.
26:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it sucks.
26:09 Andrew Santino? Like if one of the clowns did it?
26:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
26:11 Andrew Santino? It would be a fight.
26:13 Bobby Lee? Do you remember when she was mad at us?
26:15 Andrew Santino? Oh, yeah.
26:16 Bobby Lee? That was the most heartbreaking two weeks. I broke my heart.
26:20 Andrew Santino? It really did hurt my feelings.
26:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah. What?
26:23 Andrew Santino? It hurt my feelings.
26:24 Bobby Lee? What? Your mom's a hoe?
26:26 Andrew Santino? Yeah. Yeah. It just settled.
26:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it just settled.
26:30 Andrew Santino? It just settled.
26:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it settled, right?
26:31 Andrew Santino? Now I see the river as-
26:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah!
26:33 Andrew Santino? I'm mad.
26:33 Bobby Lee? It was- I knew. That was good.
26:37 Andrew Santino? No, never in a million years.
26:37 Bobby Lee? Wow. But you planted the seed. Congratulations.
26:39 Andrew Santino? Very good. It was very good.
26:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, very good. And you know what another thing you do that drives me crazy, my friend?
26:45 Speaker 04 What?
26:46 Bobby Lee? Since we're doing this.
26:47 Andrew Santino? Yeah, get it out.
26:48 Bobby Lee? Why is it when I recommend you something, you never watch it? But when anyone else recommends it, you watch it?
26:55 Speaker 04 Like what?
26:56 Bobby Lee? Like I've been asking you to watch different things and you don't watch it.
27:00 Speaker 04 And I've been telling you.
27:01 Bobby Lee? See, like now. Notice? Did you notice?
27:05 Andrew Santino? I saw.
27:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
27:08 Bobby Lee? I've been telling you that?
27:09 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
27:10 Bobby Lee? Go ahead.
27:11 Speaker 04 I've been telling you. I'm busy and I'm so tired that I can't watch any show.
27:16 Bobby Lee? It's so funny. Can I kinda counteract that?
27:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
27:19 Bobby Lee? You live with me. Alright? Do I have ears?
27:24 Speaker 04 Yeah.
27:25 Bobby Lee? Do I hear you playing shit down there? All, wah wah wah, you hear me?
27:32 Bobby Lee? All kinds of fucking Asian shit.
27:33 Andrew Santino? Is that Japanese?
27:37 Bobby Lee? 24 hours a day. And she's giggling. Right, right? Right? And I recommend nothing.
27:43 Andrew Santino? Nothing.
27:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
27:44 Speaker 04 It's TikTok. It's different.
27:46 Andrew Santino? It is. That is true.
27:47 Bobby Lee? Don't ever raise your voice like that to me, okay? Why is it different?
27:51 Speaker 04 Because you can just scroll. You don't have to think about, you don't have to actually like watch it. It's just scrolling.
27:57 Andrew Santino? I gotta, I gotta stop.
28:00 Andrew Santino? My TikTok time is bad.
28:01 Bobby Lee? It consumes my life.
28:04 Andrew Santino? One day, I'm not gonna lie, I did six hours.
28:06 Bobby Lee? I do too.
28:07 Andrew Santino? That's a lot.
28:07 Bobby Lee? It's a lot.
28:08 Andrew Santino? Anytime I'm on a flight and it has wifi, I'm TikToking.
28:12 Bobby Lee? And the government has us. They wanna enslave us?
28:15 Andrew Santino? Well, the good government, the Chinese government, the good one we love.
28:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the one we love, yeah. Back then, they did it with religion, right?
28:22 Andrew Santino? Now they're doing it with TikTok.
28:23 Bobby Lee? Now they're doing it with TikTok and capitalism.
28:25 Andrew Santino? Get ready with me.
28:26 Bobby Lee? And we're all slaves, right? And I love it.
28:28 Andrew Santino? Get ready with me to become a Chinese slave.
28:31 Bobby Lee? I love being a Chinese slave.
28:32 Andrew Santino? Me too, we're there.
28:33 Bobby Lee? Nezah. Did you see it?
28:36 Speaker 04 The what?
28:36 Bobby Lee? Nezah.
28:37 Andrew Santino? He recommended Nezah, you didn't watch that, did you?
28:39 Speaker 04 No.
28:40 Bobby Lee? Nezah 2 is out, okay? It made 2 billion dollars in China. It's the greatest animation movie I've ever seen.
28:46 Andrew Santino? You better watch it before they make a third one.
28:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
28:48 Andrew Santino? What did you say, did we ever what?
28:49 Speaker 04 Did you guys ever download the other TikTok app?
28:52 Andrew Santino? What?
28:52 Bobby Lee? Red Zone or whatever it was? Redline? Yeah, yeah, Red Pipes, what is it?
28:57 Speaker 04 The, what is it? It's the Red Note.
29:00 Andrew Santino? Red Note.
29:01 Bobby Lee? So was I close? When I said Redline, was I close?
29:04 Andrew Santino? Did you hear that? It's already in Chinese.
29:06 Bobby Lee? It's all in Chinese. Was I close?
29:08 Speaker 04 Yeah.
29:09 Bobby Lee? Thank you.
29:09 Andrew Santino? It's named as Zao Kong Qiu, a Chinese social media app that allows users to share and discover different content about fashion, travel, and more. Similar to Instagram, with a layout similar to Pinterest.
29:18 Bobby Lee? There was a Mongolian guy on my show, and I kissed him in the lips. And he just came here from Mongolia. And he stood up, impetrified, and he goes, "I don't know what's going on."
29:31 Bobby Lee? Like, he was like, "I don't know what's going on."
29:33 Andrew Santino? Imagine a Mongolian guy who's like literally never been to the United States, that's his first trip.
29:37 Bobby Lee? Look at that, look at them. They're all data from fucking Goonies.
29:42 Bobby Lee? They're dressed like that. What a peaceful life, don't you wanna do this with me?
29:46 Andrew Santino? Dude, zoom in, that's so funny. I just realized, look at his hat, I realized why they like Spider-Man.
29:51 Bobby Lee? Why?
29:52 Andrew Santino? Look at those eyes.
29:55 Andrew Santino? That's the closest superhero they have.
29:57 Bobby Lee? Might as well do it with Mongolian Spider-Man.
30:02 Bobby Lee? Might as well do it. There's a window open.
30:05 Bobby Lee? Let's go. Spider-Man. Come on.
30:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and there's no fucking billions of trees. Yeah, so they're doing trees. Maybe trees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spider-Man, Spider-Man.
30:22 Bobby Lee? From tree to tree. You will see. Anyway.
30:26 Andrew Santino? This Mongolian Spider-Man. That is kind of, it does make sense when you see the mask now. I've never even thought about that.
30:31 Bobby Lee? Wow, yeah. Oh, what a cute guy.
30:33 Andrew Santino? It was Chinese Spider-Man. Yeah, Asian Spider-Man is out there.
30:36 Bobby Lee? That's so cute.
30:36 Andrew Santino? All right, so what else in your life, Jules? I want to hear what's going on besides you being tired, which is the narrative that's been happening for the five years I've known you.
30:44 Speaker 04 Um, I'm just living with little Bobby because of the fires.
30:48 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
30:48 Speaker 04 I have all the dogs, school, work.
30:52 Andrew Santino? Well, I could see you working at like Chick-fil-A, and that would help us because I'd like to eat it more often for free.
30:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
30:57 Speaker 04 I also want to do that for free food.
31:00 Andrew Santino? Well, then go get a job at Chick-fil-A. There's one near here.
31:03 Speaker 04 Well, I need a visa. Oh, yeah, the, can you buy the five million gold visa for me?
31:08 Andrew Santino? What does that mean? Trump says, US will sell five million dollar, wait, sell five million dollar gold card to wealthy foreigners. So you have to pay five million dollars?
31:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and then you get a really easy path to citizenship.
31:21 Speaker 07 Apparently it's not even that much money for a lot of people, so it's going to attract like grifters.
31:25 Andrew Santino? Five million dollars is not much money?
31:28 Speaker 06 Every country has a gold visa, which is like if you invest enough money in the country, you're going to.
31:34 Andrew Santino? Well, I understand that, but this is just your outright buying a visa for five million. If you're an entrepreneur who's invested and has work here, then it's different, but this is, you just pay five million.
31:43 Speaker 06 Buy a house or whatever it is.
31:45 Andrew Santino? Wow.
31:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but the guy that's doing the rice on his head, you know what I mean? He can't go.
31:51 Andrew Santino? If he had a dollar for every grain.
31:52 Bobby Lee? That's true. That is true. That's true.
31:54 Andrew Santino? We're going to be selling a gold card. I love that it's, it's a gold card.
31:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's crazy.
31:58 Andrew Santino? You have a, if you have a green card, this is a gold card. I love, dude, he puts everything in toddler perspective.
32:05 Andrew Santino? You have a green card, this is a gold card.
32:07 Bobby Lee? But do you know why he's doing this? Cause Elon Musk and the tech stuff, remember?
32:11 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
32:11 Bobby Lee? And so.
32:12 Andrew Santino? You mean all the Doge shit?
32:13 Bobby Lee? What?
32:14 Andrew Santino? All the Doge stuff, like the Doge employees that are clearing out the government?
32:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's a lot of tech people from other lands and then Trump goes, I don't know, you know what I mean? And he got, there was a controversy. So now I think this is a way for them to get in.
32:28 Andrew Santino? Five million dollars is insane. So you're telling me enough people? That's a very limited amount of people that have five million dollars laying around.
32:38 Speaker 06 That's why they do it, yeah.
32:39 Andrew Santino? But I mean, but then it's like a tease, no one's ever gonna, how many people can really do it? I mean, I guess Chinese money, maybe a lot. There's a lot of billionaires in China. Doesn't China have the most billionaires in the world?
32:50 Speaker 06 Of course, yeah.
32:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but they're the most people.
32:52 Andrew Santino? I know, but no, but even still, per capita, they have the most billionaires.
32:54 Bobby Lee? Really?
32:55 Andrew Santino? By far. I, we don't even have that many. We have the most billionaires, we do.
32:59 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
33:00 Andrew Santino? Oh, wow. We're the best.
33:03 Bobby Lee? There's Indian billionaires.
33:06 Andrew Santino? Do it.
33:07 Bobby Lee? What?
33:08 Andrew Santino? I am the curry king.
33:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that's it.
33:11 Andrew Santino? I will be a billionaire. Wealth in technology, pharmaceuticals and energy.
33:15 Bobby Lee? Wow.
33:15 Andrew Santino? Wow, Germany.
33:18 Andrew Santino? We made a lot of mistakes.
33:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
33:21 Andrew Santino? But we're back.
33:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
33:24 Andrew Santino? Russia.
33:24 Bobby Lee? Of course.
33:25 Andrew Santino? We stole this money and killed, they killed for all that money.
33:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, wow.
33:29 Andrew Santino? Russia will kill you.
33:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, well.
33:31 Andrew Santino? Eight, eight hundred and thirteen billionaires.
33:33 Bobby Lee? Do you want that card, really?
33:34 Andrew Santino? I was wrong, I thought.
33:35 Bobby Lee? If we, if you gave, what would, what would you do for us if we got you a five million dollar gold card?
33:39 Andrew Santino? And let me preface this by saying, we're not doing it.
33:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, but what?
33:43 Speaker 04 Well, if you were gonna do it.
33:45 Bobby Lee? What would happen? You would do this podcast.
33:48 Andrew Santino? You're basically.
33:48 Bobby Lee? Every week.
33:49 Andrew Santino? Buying her, that's like a buy, you bought a human.
33:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
33:51 Andrew Santino? That's like you would buy a human, which by the way, you know this is gonna enact human trafficking, for sure. That's inevitable of what this is gonna do. There's no way this is a positive program. So what, yeah, what could you even offer us? If Bobby and I got a bunch of investors to give us enough money to pay for you to become a five million dollar gold card citizen, what do we get in return?
34:11 Speaker 04 I can, I can clean, I can cook, I can wash the dishes.
34:17 Bobby Lee? You've never cooked me anything, bitch.
34:19 Speaker 04 Because you never ask.
34:21 Bobby Lee? You know, kick me wanting. Today I woke up from my nap, bacon. Were you cooking bacon?
34:26 Andrew Santino? Love bacon.
34:26 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, bacon throughout my house.
34:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:28 Bobby Lee? None for me.
34:29 Andrew Santino? You cook bacon and don't leave extra?
34:31 Speaker 04 No.
34:32 Andrew Santino? That's insane.
34:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's insane.
34:33 Andrew Santino? That's crazy.
34:34 Bobby Lee? Another thing she does is, um, do you not like me because I, even when we live together, we never see each other.
34:40 Speaker 04 That's because I wake up in the morning, you wake up at night. You don't see each other.
34:45 Andrew Santino? There is fact that.
34:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But even when you're there, trust me, you don't leave. And what do I give you? Donuts.
34:52 Andrew Santino? Mmm.
34:52 Bobby Lee? Old fairy donuts.
34:53 Andrew Santino? Mmm.
34:54 Bobby Lee? Right?
34:54 Speaker 04 I like the pistachios.
34:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, guess what you've gotten me as a gift? Zero.
35:00 Andrew Santino? A burden.
35:01 Bobby Lee? A burden.
35:01 Andrew Santino? You're a burden. Trust me, Light. Let me ask you something.
35:05 Speaker 04 What?
35:06 Andrew Santino? Everyone in the room, when you cook bacon at home, you cook the whole package.
35:11 Speaker 04 No.
35:11 Bobby Lee? No.
35:11 Andrew Santino? What? What the fuck are you talking about?
35:15 Bobby Lee? What are you talking about?
35:16 Andrew Santino? You don't cook the whole thing?
35:17 Bobby Lee? I'm not gonna eat 15 strips.
35:20 Andrew Santino? I don't know.
35:20 Bobby Lee? I know.
35:21 Andrew Santino? No, but I mean, what do you?
35:22 Bobby Lee? Three.
35:22 Andrew Santino? No, what you do is you cook the whole thing, and then you have, you have some for the dogs, and then you have some in the fridge that you make later with a sandwich, so it's cooked already.
35:29 Speaker 04 No.
35:30 Bobby Lee? Oh, that's, I never thought of that.
35:32 Andrew Santino? This, it's the best.
35:33 Bobby Lee? Okay.
35:33 Andrew Santino? Every time I do it, you cook the whole fucking, you don't do this?
35:36 Bobby Lee? I do it. I microwave my bacon.
35:38 Andrew Santino? Maybe this is some Midwest shit. I've never been into a house, back in the day when we were growing up.
35:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
35:42 Andrew Santino? You always had to have extra bacon, because what she's doing is violating you. She's cooking in your home, not leaving leftovers for you?
35:47 Bobby Lee? It's a complete violation.
35:48 Andrew Santino? It's a complete violation.
35:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I agree.
35:50 Andrew Santino? It's a complete violation. You cook the whole fucking sleeve, you leave some for Tito, you give some for the dogs.
35:54 Bobby Lee? Here's some to bacon, Tito Bobby.
35:56 Speaker 04 No, but.
35:57 Andrew Santino? Rappa, rappa, rappa.
35:57 Bobby Lee? Rappa, rappa.
35:58 Speaker 04 Tito Bobby doesn't even eat like cold stuff already.
36:02 Andrew Santino? You heat it up!
36:03 Speaker 04 No, even then, he doesn't eat leftovers. Once it's like.
36:07 Bobby Lee? Oh my god! There it is. The, I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't.
36:16 Andrew Santino? Facelined fact.
36:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:17 Andrew Santino? I don't.
36:17 Bobby Lee? But don't say it out loud.
36:18 Andrew Santino? Yeah, don't tell anybody that.
36:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:20 Andrew Santino? No, but honestly, you cook the whole sleeve. Maybe that's in the Midwest, because every house you go to, they would cook the whole sleeve. You absolutely wouldn't save it. It doesn't make any sense. Also, Once you've opened the package of bacon, slimy, sloppy, greasy bacon, you put it in the thing, it's a thing, it's a spill, it's a thing, it's a fridge, it's a nightmare. Don't do it. Cook the whole sleeve. From now on, you cook the whole packet. And you go, "Tita Bobby, I cook you bacon." And you give some to the dogs. Or do you not feed the dogs bacon?
36:42 Bobby Lee? I like, I love, who, let me ask you another question. Who gives the dogs treats?
36:47 Speaker 04 You.
36:48 Bobby Lee? Exactly. Do you buy any treats?
36:50 Speaker 04 They already have their food.
36:52 Andrew Santino? No, no, no, no.
36:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, she's doing Filipino rules.
36:54 Andrew Santino? That's insane.
36:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, and we're in America.
36:56 Andrew Santino? You get one meal a day?
36:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I know, that's what it is.
36:58 Andrew Santino? You have to understand, the dog's food, the dog's food is to keep it alive. Treats are to keep it happy and engaged.
37:04 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
37:05 Speaker 04 I just give it like once a week.
37:07 Andrew Santino? What the fuck?
37:08 Bobby Lee? It's insane. And also, she measures the food. You only get this two pounds, whatever, you weigh it.
37:14 Speaker 04 I don't want them to be fat. I don't want them to be.
37:18 Bobby Lee? We have Doggo Zimbit now.
37:19 Andrew Santino? Yeah, they do, they make it now.
37:20 Bobby Lee? Right?
37:22 Andrew Santino? What's, Wag Govey, they have Wag.
37:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, Wag Govey, dude.
37:27 Andrew Santino? Let me tell you something.
37:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
37:28 Andrew Santino? That's fucked up. You've gotta feed dogs treats. That keeps them happy and engaged.
37:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I, trust me. And my fear is when they, she leaves one day with the dogs, and they, they look at me with sad eyes.
37:39 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
37:40 Bobby Lee? They go, "Daddy." Hey, too. Bye-bye. You know what I mean? Bye-bye. Yeah, yeah. I feel so sad about it.
37:47 Andrew Santino? You know what you're basically doing? It's like when a prisoner, they slide the meal through the door slot?
37:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
37:51 Andrew Santino? Giving them regimented door slot. They're not even satisfied by that. That's so they can get through the day. You gotta go get some more treats.
37:58 Bobby Lee? And the, I wanna say another thing, okay? I've just, let me just say another thing, okay? They move out of my house, right? I have a dog, older dog, named Remy.
38:06 Andrew Santino? Yeah, I know.
38:06 Bobby Lee? Right? Perfectly walking, spine fine.
38:09 Andrew Santino? Fine spine.
38:10 Bobby Lee? Perfect eyesight. The next time I see it, right?
38:13 Andrew Santino? Broken.
38:14 Bobby Lee? Not just broken, 50 pounds less, twisted spine.
38:17 Andrew Santino? Oh.
38:18 Bobby Lee? Legs, you know what I mean? Gray eyes.
38:20 Speaker 04 He's blind.
38:22 Bobby Lee? I go, "What are you doing?"
38:23 Andrew Santino? You gave a dog spine a Biffet and made it go blind?
38:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:27 Andrew Santino? Give it some.
38:27 Bobby Lee? No treats, dude, that's why.
38:29 Speaker 04 No, cuz he's just getting old.
38:31 Bobby Lee? Okay, you're right.
38:32 Andrew Santino? Do you ever give, do you ever give the dog like peanut butter or anything like that?
38:35 Speaker 04 Some, sometimes.
38:36 Andrew Santino? God, dude, what? The joy, you're like ripping the joy of a dog.
38:39 Speaker 04 There's a pill, though, that, have you seen that you can extend the dog's life already?
38:44 Andrew Santino? I'm buying it already.
38:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah, where's it? Get the pill.
38:46 Speaker 06 Biohacking your dog's life?
38:48 Andrew Santino? Second, oh my god, second drug for canine healthy lifespan extension receives what? A grant? FDA support? Oh!
38:54 Speaker 04 You can do it already.
38:55 Andrew Santino? Zoom in. A developmental drug that aims to extend the healthy lifespan of senior dogs has received an acceptance by the FDA Center for Veterinary Medicine. Oh!
39:02 Bobby Lee? For Remy, we gotta get it now.
39:04 Andrew Santino? The drug is called LOY002. LOY002. Targets age-related metabolic dysfunction and is also designed to improve quality of life in canines aged 10 years and older, weighing at least 14 pounds. Remy's older than 10?
39:17 Bobby Lee? One pound, one pound.
39:19 Andrew Santino? He's 10 pounds?
39:20 Speaker 04 Yeah.
39:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
39:21 Andrew Santino? Well, then if you fed him some fucking treats, maybe we could get him the LOY.
39:23 Bobby Lee? Well, he has to be 12?
39:24 Andrew Santino? It says, what did it say? What did it say? It said 14.
39:29 Bobby Lee? You gotta fatten up Remy, dude. I'm gonna get him this.
39:31 Andrew Santino? You gotta get him that. You gotta get him.
39:33 Bobby Lee? Alright, you want Remy to live?
39:34 Speaker 04 Yeah.
39:34 Bobby Lee? We're gonna fatten him up. Okay?
39:36 Andrew Santino? By the way, fat and happy is the way most people like to live.
39:38 Bobby Lee? They like to live like that.
39:40 Speaker 04 Okay.
39:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
39:41 Andrew Santino? This is great, I wanna buy this immediately. What a great thing.
39:43 Bobby Lee? How do you inject it? Do you inject it or do you feed it?
39:46 Andrew Santino? It seems like it's a pill, right? Or it's something they chew on. Pill, yeah. By the way, I don't know if you ever have to give your dog pills. We just had to give her pills when we were back home because she was sick.
39:54 Bobby Lee? Oh no.
39:55 Andrew Santino? But by the way, impossible. She won't eat it. And we bury it in the treats and the food, still knows it's in there. Will eat all the treat and then spit out the pill.
40:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
40:03 Andrew Santino? You're fucking genius.
40:04 Bobby Lee? She's a genius.
40:04 Andrew Santino? It pissed me off.
40:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
40:05 Andrew Santino? She did it every time.
40:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
40:07 Andrew Santino? We buried it, then I put it, then I put it in a, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, oh my god. You know the Kong chew toy, you know?
40:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
40:14 Andrew Santino? And I put it in there with all sorts of fucking bullshit.
40:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
40:17 Andrew Santino? Cleared it out.
40:18 Bobby Lee? Around it.
40:18 Andrew Santino? And left the pill.
40:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:20 Andrew Santino? Fucking little asshole.
40:21 Bobby Lee? Shopify! Oh, boy, buddy, guess what?
40:25 Andrew Santino? What?
40:26 Bobby Lee? Um, we have an online business and it would, we, it's incredible because we use Shopify.
40:31 Andrew Santino? That is why.
40:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
40:32 Andrew Santino? By the way, nobody does selling better than Shopify. It's the home of the number one checkout on the planet.
40:36 Bobby Lee? Tell them about the-
40:37 Andrew Santino? A lot of people go, hey, man, I like a aloe.
40:41 Bobby Lee? I love aloe.
40:41 Andrew Santino? Skims, all birds, you know? And you think, that's a good product, isn't it, Bob?
40:45 Bobby Lee? High-grade product.
40:46 Andrew Santino? But I'll tell you what.
40:47 Bobby Lee? What's, what guy?
40:48 Andrew Santino? There's a business behind the business.
40:49 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
40:50 Andrew Santino? And that business is Shopify.
40:52 Bobby Lee? Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. The not so secret secret with Shop Pay that boosts conversions up to 50%.
41:01 Andrew Santino? That means way less carts are going to go abandoned and way more sales are going cha-ching, cha-ching. If you're into growing your business, your commerce platform, better be ready to sell whenever, wherever your customers are scrolling and strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between.
41:16 Bobby Lee? Businesses that sell more, sell on Shopify.
41:18 Andrew Santino? That's right.
41:19 Bobby Lee? Upgrade your business and get the same checkout as Al on Allbirds.
41:22 Andrew Santino? That's right.
41:23 Bobby Lee? Yep.
41:23 Andrew Santino? Sign up for your $1 per month trial here at Shopify.com/badfriends, all lowercase.
41:28 Bobby Lee? Go to Shopify.com/badfriends to upgrade your selling today.
41:31 Andrew Santino? Shopify.com/badfriends.
41:34 Bobby Lee? Adam and Eve. I love Adam and Eve. I'm telling you something, I'm not embarrassed by it, but I use gadgets.
41:40 Andrew Santino? You love gadgets and toys and gizmos.
41:41 Bobby Lee? Vibrations, suctions, and I really enjoy my, sexually. And I get it from Adam and Eve. Who wants better sex?
41:48 Andrew Santino? I do.
41:49 Bobby Lee? Who wants to start having better sex immediately?
41:51 Andrew Santino? That's what I was gonna say. I want it right now.
41:52 Bobby Lee? The best way to get started is to go to adamandeve.com right now.
41:56 Andrew Santino? Okay, well, I can't go because we're on the show, but Adam and Eve, for those that are listening, is offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush processing. Do you need those anal beads now? You gotta get on Adam and Eve right now. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast, so your neighbors don't know what you got, unless you want to invite them over and show them.
42:16 Bobby Lee? Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to adamandeve.com and select any one item. It can be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. 50% off almost any item, plus free shipping and plus rush processing.
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42:44 Andrew Santino? That's BADFRIENDS. You know how to spell it, B-A-D-F-R-I-E-N-D-S, at adamandeve.com.
42:49 Speaker 07 Dude, welcome.
42:49 Bobby Lee? Welcome dude.
42:50 Andrew Santino? Welcome, my dog. Good to see you, bro.
42:52 Bobby Lee? Good to see you dude.
42:53 Andrew Santino? How are you? Pete, good to meet you, by the way. That usually you say hi to people when you walk in and say...
42:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you don't walk in like you're like adhering to headlights.
43:00 Andrew Santino? Pete, your boy Pete just walked in and he starts like fucking snooping around. Is this your dog? Is this like one of your closest friends?
43:07 Speaker 08 Uh, yeah.
43:08 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
43:08 Bobby Lee? Do you have Chinese eyes?
43:11 Andrew Santino? First of all, first of all, welcome Dave Bluntz to the show.
43:14 Speaker 08 Thank you.
43:14 Bobby Lee? Dave Bluntz, give him a round of applause. You're a rapper.
43:17 Andrew Santino? You make fantastic music.
43:19 Speaker 08 You're the first rapper on here?
43:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
43:21 Andrew Santino? We had MGK on the show. I don't know if you qualify him.
43:24 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah, I qualify him for sure.
43:26 Andrew Santino? Okay, very good, yeah. He makes music in general, but you do just rap?
43:30 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah.
43:31 Andrew Santino? But you could...
43:32 Speaker 08 A blending of genres, yeah.
43:33 Andrew Santino? A blending of genres. And we'll say for the audience that didn't get to see before, he brought his friend Pete, who's his boy, who's snooping around.
43:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
43:40 Speaker 08 Hey, I told him to come in here first to check it out.
43:42 Andrew Santino? I feel you. And you know, Pete did his job, but usually people say hello. Pete didn't do that. Pete just aimlessly snuck around. And Pete's your second guy, so you had another white guy before him?
43:51 Speaker 08 Yeah, that's my manager, yeah.
43:53 Andrew Santino? Where did you find this white?
43:54 Speaker 08 Uh, man, he found me.
43:56 Andrew Santino? He found you?
43:57 Speaker 08 Yeah.
43:57 Bobby Lee? That was pretty easy to do.
43:58 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hell yeah, hell yeah.
44:01 Andrew Santino? Dave, so you found this, this guy found you, and this is your, this is your new, your new manager? Is he with, he's with you every day?
44:08 Speaker 08 Pretty much, yeah, every day.
44:09 Andrew Santino? You trust this guy?
44:10 Speaker 08 I do with my entire life, yeah.
44:11 Andrew Santino? I like to hear that.
44:12 Speaker 08 Yeah.
44:13 Andrew Santino? This is who, this is our manager, this is Rudy, say hello to Rudy.
44:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah, Rudy, that's our manager. She's a genius.
44:17 Andrew Santino? She's a genius.
44:18 Bobby Lee? She was the head of Sony at one point.
44:20 Speaker 08 For real?
44:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:21 Speaker 08 Oh shit. And then this is like, this is like a demotion.
44:24 Andrew Santino? Yeah, yeah, it's way down. Yeah, thanks Dave.
44:26 Speaker 08 How did you end up here?
44:28 Bobby Lee? That was good.
44:29 Speaker 08 Okay.
44:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
44:30 Andrew Santino? Tell them how you ended up here.
44:32 Speaker 04 Um, because I don't have a visa.
44:35 Andrew Santino? She needs a visa.
44:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, she needs a visa.
44:37 Speaker 08 Okay, but how does that like, with Sony, that isn't...
44:40 Bobby Lee? She doesn't work for Sony.
44:41 Andrew Santino? She doesn't work for Sony.
44:41 Speaker 08 Okay, okay.
44:42 Andrew Santino? No, he's fucking around.
44:43 Speaker 08 Okay, my bad.
44:44 Andrew Santino? But we are trying to, it's his niece. We are trying to raise money to get her a visa of a $5 million gold visa from Trump. We're interested to know if maybe you would want to donate some of the proceeds.
44:53 Speaker 08 Nah, man, I just got money, man. I got real shit, bro.
44:56 Andrew Santino? Alright.
44:57 Speaker 08 I'm not in a donate...
44:57 Bobby Lee? What's your favorite drink?
44:59 Speaker 08 Uh, water, man. You see, I'm glad you guys got this for me, water. This is my newfound favorite drink, recently.
45:05 Andrew Santino? No alcohol?
45:06 Speaker 08 I've been on my health journey, you know? Not on alcohol or lean anymore, you know what I'm saying? It's just water for now.
45:11 Bobby Lee? Are you smoking weed?
45:12 Speaker 08 Nah, I quit weed when I was like 20.
45:15 Speaker 04 How old are you?
45:16 Speaker 08 I'm 24. I was smoking from the time I was like nine to twenty.
45:21 Andrew Santino? Nine?
45:22 Bobby Lee? Nine years old, wow.
45:23 Andrew Santino? Give us, give us your story about.
45:24 Bobby Lee? How many gat calories is weed?
45:26 Speaker 08 Shit.
45:29 Andrew Santino? How many, when you're nine, how do you smoke weed at nine?
45:32 Speaker 08 Bruh, I, I used to hang around older kids, so like, they were like teenagers and shit, so, yeah.
45:38 Andrew Santino? Where'd you grow up?
45:39 Speaker 08 In Iowa, fucking Iowa, middle of nowhere.
45:41 Andrew Santino? What, like Des Moines?
45:42 Speaker 08 Nah, nah, it was a town called Davenport.
45:45 Andrew Santino? Davenport, Iowa.
45:46 Bobby Lee? Iowa, wow.
45:47 Andrew Santino? And you're kicking it with, you're kicking it with a bunch of troublemaking nine-year-olds that, and, and somehow someone has an older brother that wants to smoke weed and you're nine.
45:53 Speaker 08 Yeah, ragtag, misfit group of kids.
45:56 Andrew Santino? You talk to any of these guys anymore now that you've made it? Now that you're on?
45:59 Speaker 08 No, no, no. Not that I, you know, like, changed up on them, we just grew apart over the years before now.
46:06 Andrew Santino? Before now?
46:06 Speaker 08 Yeah.
46:07 Andrew Santino? So what, is your circle very small now?
46:09 Speaker 08 Uh, yeah, it, it, it was pretty big at one point, but you know, a bunch of shit happened, people change up, uh, yeah, now it's, uh, pretty small now, yeah.
46:17 Andrew Santino? Tell you, you want to, you care to share what peo- what, what happened in your, what happened in your circle that, did people, uh, steal from you?
46:23 Speaker 08 Uh, nobody was stealing from me, um, just using me, pretty much, using me.
46:28 Bobby Lee? Oh, man.
46:29 Andrew Santino? I have a show that I do called Bad Friends where my partner uses me very much.
46:33 Speaker 08 You use him?
46:34 Andrew Santino? Yeah, he does.
46:34 Bobby Lee? I'm a user.
46:35 Speaker 08 How?
46:36 Andrew Santino? He's a user, baby.
46:37 Speaker 08 In what ways do you use him?
46:38 Bobby Lee? Well, he does all the business.
46:40 Andrew Santino? That's right.
46:40 Bobby Lee? And I just show up.
46:41 Andrew Santino? That's right.
46:41 Speaker 08 Okay.
46:42 Bobby Lee? Would you fire me if that was the case?
46:45 Speaker 08 Uh, well, that's your, is he good at what he does?
46:48 Andrew Santino? Very.
46:48 Speaker 08 And you're good at what you do?
46:49 Andrew Santino? Not really, but.
46:50 Bobby Lee? The best.
46:50 Speaker 08 Okay, well then shit, man, it's a give and take.
46:52 Andrew Santino? It is, a hundred percent.
46:53 Bobby Lee? I love you, dude.
46:54 Speaker 08 You're a positive guy, dude. Appreciate it, man, hell yeah. Is there anything that I cannot say?
46:58 Bobby Lee? You can say whatever you want, dude. Cause I have a fucking gunload.
47:01 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
47:02 Speaker 08 Okay.
47:03 Andrew Santino? He wants, he, he.
47:04 Speaker 08 He, he doesn't have a gun in the building.
47:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I know, I know.
47:06 Speaker 08 Make sure there's no, alright, cool.
47:07 Andrew Santino? No, but it is funny.
47:08 Speaker 08 Cause I've seen a clip with him with a gun before.
47:10 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:11 Andrew Santino? Shooting at me.
47:12 Speaker 08 I just wanna make sure that there's no.
47:14 Andrew Santino? You can say anything you want, now go, you.
47:15 Speaker 08 But he doesn't have a gun, though.
47:16 Bobby Lee? I don't have a gun.
47:17 Speaker 08 Okay, alright.
47:17 Andrew Santino? He does not have a gun.
47:18 Bobby Lee? I have a little tiny yellow gun.
47:20 Speaker 08 Oh, that's, okay, I get it.
47:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yup.
47:22 Speaker 08 Pew pew.
47:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
47:23 Andrew Santino? What do you wanna say that you can't, that you think?
47:24 Speaker 08 I just wanna make sure, I just, before I get to going crazy, you know what I'm saying?
47:28 Bobby Lee? And go.
47:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've seen some of your work. You don't say crazy things.
47:37 Speaker 08 I say pretty crazy shit.
47:39 Andrew Santino? Yeah, he does.
47:39 Speaker 08 In my music, yeah.
47:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
47:41 Speaker 04 Like what?
47:42 Speaker 08 Ah, man.
47:43 Andrew Santino? Thank you. Thanks, Rudy.
47:44 Speaker 08 Ah, shit. Hard R N-word.
47:48 Bobby Lee? But that's you. What you... You're black.
47:50 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah, but they still have a problem with it on Twitter.
47:52 Bobby Lee? Oh, they do?
47:53 Andrew Santino? They have a problem on Twitter. That's Elon, huh? Elon doesn't like saying the N-word.
47:56 Speaker 08 I don't like Twitter, man. Twitter is just like... Fuck Twitter, man.
48:00 Andrew Santino? Fuck Twitter.
48:01 Speaker 08 I don't like Twitter.
48:02 Andrew Santino? Well, you can say the N-word on here. Go ahead and say it a bunch if you feel like it right now.
48:04 Speaker 08 Okay, thank you. I don't really want to say nothing and put on the spot.
48:08 Andrew Santino? That's right.
48:08 Speaker 08 I appreciate that, though.
48:09 Andrew Santino? Yeah, say whatever you want.
48:10 Speaker 08 But I'll, you know, if I feel like saying it at one point, then I will. But put on the spot right now. Like, three white guys looking at me.
48:17 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
48:18 Speaker 08 I'm cool right now.
48:19 Andrew Santino? Also, that's definitely not three white guys. That's a Mexican guy on the left, a Spanish guy on the right, and a vagrant.
48:24 Bobby Lee? A vagrant.
48:25 Andrew Santino? A homeless man.
48:25 Speaker 08 What is a vague... Okay.
48:28 Bobby Lee? I don't offend you. May I say something? It's an observation.
48:31 Speaker 08 Go, go, go ahead and say something, man.
48:32 Bobby Lee? This reminds me of, remember in The Dark Knight?
48:35 Andrew Santino? Dark Knight? Yeah, the movie The Dark Knight.
48:36 Speaker 08 It's a great movie.
48:36 Bobby Lee? That guy that was in prison, right?
48:38 Andrew Santino? Mm-hmm.
48:39 Bobby Lee? And he exploded. Look at his cellphone right there.
48:41 Andrew Santino? Where?
48:41 Bobby Lee? In his belly. Yeah, it was sticking out. You know what I mean?
48:46 Andrew Santino? That brought you back to The Dark Knight?
48:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That situation, remember?
48:51 Speaker 08 Oh, he ate the cellphone?
48:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it had its belly. Yeah, yeah.
48:54 Speaker 08 Stupid.
48:55 Andrew Santino? So dumb.
48:56 Speaker 08 Boy, I sure have some bad friends.
48:58 Andrew Santino? Yeah, you do.
48:59 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
48:59 Andrew Santino? Yeah, you do.
49:00 Bobby Lee? All right, I'm sorry. It's not funny. We can cut it out.
49:02 Andrew Santino? Every time he makes a shot at you, you have to take one back.
49:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, take one back. Hit me. And I got another one for you.
49:08 Speaker 08 I don't know, man. You're a good guy, man. You're my favorite movie ever.
49:12 Andrew Santino? What is it?
49:13 Speaker 08 Pineapple Express.
49:14 Andrew Santino? Oh, wow.
49:16 Bobby Lee? I can't...
49:17 Speaker 08 You had the scene where you were in the van.
49:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't...
49:20 Speaker 08 Oh, shit, is that fucking Bobby Lee right there?
49:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, I can't.
49:23 Speaker 08 Had to rewind it like three times.
49:24 Bobby Lee? I can't.
49:25 Andrew Santino? Now you feel bad.
49:25 Speaker 08 Yeah.
49:27 Bobby Lee? Okay, so that's me and Ken Jeong.
49:29 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, in Pineapple Express.
49:31 Andrew Santino? Now, can I ask you, in that movie, would you like more, The Express or The Pineapple?
49:35 Speaker 08 Probably the pineapple.
49:36 Andrew Santino? Pineapple for sure.
49:36 Speaker 08 For sure.
49:37 Andrew Santino? Pineapple for sure.
49:38 Speaker 08 You haven't seen the movie, have you?
49:39 Andrew Santino? I don't, I have no idea what it is.
49:40 Speaker 08 Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, no, it's, it's not.
49:42 Bobby Lee? We had a whole storyline and they cut the storyline out. We really did. It's on the.
49:46 Speaker 08 Isn't it in like the DVD?
49:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:48 Speaker 08 Yeah.
49:48 Andrew Santino? So Dave's even seen that, that's how much he loves and respects you, and here you are.
49:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
49:52 Andrew Santino? Shitting on him saying he eats cell.
49:53 Speaker 08 You know, I used to watch Mad TV as a kid.
49:55 Andrew Santino? Wow.
49:55 Bobby Lee? You did?
49:56 Speaker 08 I remember, yes.
49:57 Bobby Lee? I, I told, I said, eat what?
49:59 Andrew Santino? You said he was eating a cellphone.
50:00 Bobby Lee? No, I just, it, it, the visual reminded me of that movie.
50:03 Andrew Santino? He doesn't eat cellphones.
50:04 Speaker 08 I don't eat cellphones, man.
50:05 Andrew Santino? Tell him what you eat. Tell him that you don't eat cellphones.
50:07 Speaker 08 I don't eat.
50:08 Bobby Lee? Can I guess?
50:08 Andrew Santino? Go ahead and guess.
50:09 Bobby Lee? Waffles.
50:10 Andrew Santino? You like waffles?
50:11 Speaker 08 Blueberry waffles, yeah. I'm a blue waffle.
50:13 Andrew Santino? Bingo! Got it. Love blueberry.
50:15 Bobby Lee? Chicken, fried chicken.
50:16 Andrew Santino? Alright.
50:17 Speaker 08 What?
50:18 Andrew Santino? Everybody eats fried chicken.
50:19 Bobby Lee? I love it too, I had it last night.
50:20 Andrew Santino? What else?
50:21 Bobby Lee? You, you do. I like the game, I like this game. What do you, what do you think he eats?
50:25 Andrew Santino? Uh, probably Chipotle.
50:27 Speaker 08 Nah, I've never had Chipotle.
50:28 Bobby Lee? That's, you're not good at this game.
50:29 Andrew Santino? You've never had Chipotle?
50:31 Speaker 08 Nah.
50:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
50:32 Andrew Santino? That is shocking to me. I've, I've never met someone that hasn't had Chipotle in my life. Do you like tacos?
50:37 Speaker 08 Nah, not really, no.
50:39 Bobby Lee? Collard greens.
50:40 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah, yeah, see, he's pretty good at this game.
50:42 Andrew Santino? Yeah?
50:42 Speaker 08 Or not.
50:43 Andrew Santino? Okay, what else? Go ahead, Bob. Take it away.
50:47 Speaker 08 Why are you covering?
50:48 Bobby Lee? Memphis barbecue.
50:49 Speaker 08 Why is he covering his face?
50:50 Andrew Santino? Because, because we'll put another image.
50:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we'll put another image here, because I feel like what I'm saying is bad.
50:55 Speaker 08 Okay, okay.
50:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah. What would I eat? Go ahead. This is your shot.
50:58 Speaker 08 Um, rice.
51:01 Bobby Lee? It hurts, but I love it. Now, now we're on the same playing field.
51:04 Speaker 08 Okay, eat.
51:05 Andrew Santino? What else?
51:05 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:06 Bobby Lee? Come on, come on, get, get, get, get deep.
51:08 Speaker 08 Um, shit, uh.
51:10 Bobby Lee? That's right, shit.
51:10 Speaker 08 We, I wasn't, okay, yeah, shit.
51:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What else, baby? Come on.
51:15 Speaker 08 Um, I don't want to say the obvious ones.
51:17 Andrew Santino? Say it.
51:18 Speaker 08 Like cats and all types of shit like that, you know what I'm saying?
51:21 Bobby Lee? You should commit to that, though.
51:22 Andrew Santino? Say it.
51:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:23 Speaker 08 Alright, fuck it. Uh, uh, feline cats.
51:26 Andrew Santino? Meow. Yeah.
51:27 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah.
51:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
51:29 Speaker 08 Hell, yeah.
51:29 Andrew Santino? At night, he turns into one. At midnight.
51:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I do, yeah.
51:32 Andrew Santino? This is funny. If you say fucked up shit in your, on your, like, in your raps and on YouTube. Mm-hmm. But you're a very reserved, calm, sweet guy in life. You don't have that, uh.
51:43 Speaker 08 I, I only use it when I need to, you know? I don't really feel like, I don't see Bobby Lee as a threat.
51:47 Andrew Santino? No, right.
51:48 Speaker 08 You know what I'm saying? I don't feel offended by anything he's saying.
51:50 Bobby Lee? You like me.
51:51 Speaker 08 Yeah, I'm a fan. I'm a big fan, bro.
51:53 Bobby Lee? I love you right now, dude.
51:54 Speaker 08 I'm, I'm a fan, bro. I'm fanned out right now.
51:56 Bobby Lee? Oh, wow, wow, that's great, yeah. So, um, what kind of size mattress do you?
52:03 Speaker 08 What type of size mattress are you sleeping on Bobby? I feel like you sleep on a twin. Grip for Bobby.
52:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. You know, honestly, that was rude. Honestly, I want to be honest with you.
52:13 Andrew Santino? Well, we're not gonna cut it out.
52:15 Bobby Lee? Why?
52:16 Andrew Santino? Because you asked a real question.
52:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and what I want to say to you is this.
52:20 Speaker 08 You sleep on a twin mattress?
52:22 Bobby Lee? That's very good. See what I mean? He's opening up.
52:24 Andrew Santino? Well, it's actually a.
52:25 Speaker 08 Like, I feel like you have like a car bed or some shit. He has like a very like kiddies type bed.
52:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, there we go. You know, you come in here and I'm being a child. And I'm like, I'm gonna just state the obvious.
52:39 Andrew Santino? You have childlike.
52:40 Bobby Lee? But he is a talented young man.
52:42 Speaker 08 Yes, sir.
52:43 Bobby Lee? He's extremely likeable. I could see you on a sitcom.
52:46 Speaker 08 Me too.
52:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
52:47 Andrew Santino? You want to act?
52:48 Speaker 08 Uh, yeah, at some point.
52:50 Andrew Santino? Let's do a scene.
52:51 Bobby Lee? The title of the sitcom, Way Different Strokes.
52:55 Speaker 08 Way different strokes, okay.
52:57 Andrew Santino? Or it might have a stroke.
52:59 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it might have a stroke.
52:59 Speaker 08 Why does it have a stroke? Okay, go ahead, go ahead.
53:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
53:03 Andrew Santino? Uh, but let's have your character name for the show. That's Sheila.
53:06 Speaker 08 Mm-hmm.
53:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
53:08 Andrew Santino? Uh, that's Marmaduke.
53:09 Speaker 08 Okay. Hi, Marmaduke!
53:10 Andrew Santino? That's Marmaduke.
53:12 Speaker 08 Hello, hello! And what racist name are you guys gonna give me? Jerome?
53:15 Andrew Santino? I'm Uncle Bub.
53:16 Speaker 08 Okay.
53:16 Bobby Lee? You can name yourself.
53:17 Andrew Santino? And you name yourself.
53:18 Speaker 08 Uh, Jerome.
53:19 Andrew Santino? Jerome, okay, that's good.
53:20 Speaker 08 I'll take it, man, fuck it.
53:21 Andrew Santino? All right, I'm Uncle Bub. That's Marmaduke, and that's Sheila.
53:25 Speaker 08 Mm-hmm. Hi, Jerome! You wanna have breakfast?
53:28 Andrew Santino? You wanna sit down and have breakfast with us?
53:29 Speaker 08 Well, shit, I don't know if I really want to have breakfast today. I'm already.
53:34 Andrew Santino? Let me stop you right there.
53:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
53:36 Speaker 08 I got a name like Jerome, I have to be.
53:39 Bobby Lee? I like it. That's a great choice.
53:40 Andrew Santino? It's a little too Steve Harvey for me.
53:42 Bobby Lee? No, no, stop, no, stop. Stop the process.
53:45 Speaker 08 Hi! Jerome, what you have for breakfast? Well, shit, I already had me some grits before I came downstairs, so I don't really know if I'm too hungry today. I made you some breakfast. Wow, thank you. I appreciate that very much, but like I said before, I already had me some. It's grape-flavored Ozympique.
54:09 Andrew Santino? Hey Uncle Bub here. Kids, get your stuff. We can finally get out of, get out of these housing projects. We gotta go.
54:14 Speaker 08 Hold on, this communist bastard just after me some fucking...
54:17 Speaker 03 Don't call me communist, Uncle Jerome. I'm from Cleveland.
54:23 Andrew Santino? I think it's, I think it's-
54:23 Speaker 03 What's that, Lee?
54:24 Andrew Santino? That Sheila.
54:26 Speaker 03 Sheila? You don't say nothing?
54:28 Speaker 04 Jerome, do you want blueberry waffles?
54:31 Andrew Santino? Very good.
54:32 Bobby Lee? Very good.
54:32 Andrew Santino? Very good Sheila.
54:34 Speaker 04 I can't finish mine.
54:35 Andrew Santino? How many did you make Sheila?
54:37 Speaker 04 I made ten.
54:39 Andrew Santino? You made ten waffles. How many did you eat?
54:41 Speaker 04 One.
54:41 Andrew Santino? Alright, nine for you. What, so you want the-
54:44 Speaker 03 I'm gonna make thirty more!
54:45 Andrew Santino? Alright.
54:48 Andrew Santino? Marmaduke.
54:49 Speaker 03 I'm, I'm in a mood.
54:50 Andrew Santino? Alright, you are.
54:51 Speaker 03 I'm in a real mood. I'm sorry there, Jerome.
54:54 Andrew Santino? Well, listen, I want you kids to work this out when I go to work.
54:57 Speaker 03 Okay, bye. Dad, Dad. Say bye to Dad.
55:01 Speaker 08 Alright pops, I'll see you later.
55:03 Speaker 03 Bye pops!
55:04 Andrew Santino? I love you the most Jamal, you know that.
55:06 Speaker 08 Thank you, but my name's Jerome!
55:08 Andrew Santino? Well...
55:10 Andrew Santino? In this house, you're Jamal. You get your own house, you can call yourself whatever you want.
55:14 Speaker 03 Just leave, Dad. Leave.
55:15 Andrew Santino? I love you.
55:16 Speaker 03 We're getting ready for school. Bye Dad.
55:18 Andrew Santino? I love you.
55:18 Speaker 03 You motherfucker.
55:19 Speaker 08 And then when he leaves, I change to my real voice.
55:21 Andrew Santino? There it is.
55:22 Speaker 08 I'm not going for none of that shit no more.
55:24 Speaker 03 Yeah? Well, I'm tired of you using your fat as a blanket.
55:29 Speaker 08 I'm tired of you peeing in mason jars and hiding in your bedroom and it stinks up there.
55:34 Speaker 03 You know what, Jerome? I love you.
55:38 Speaker 08 Fuck you.
55:41 Bobby Lee? And then the credits go down.
55:42 Andrew Santino? Credits?
55:42 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah.
55:43 Bobby Lee? Wow. TV continued.
55:44 Andrew Santino? Call ABC.
55:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, there's a show somewhere.
55:47 Andrew Santino? We can get them. Sony, call your friends at Sony.
55:49 Bobby Lee? There's a show somewhere there.
55:51 Andrew Santino? Dave, what's the deal? Are you on tour?
55:53 Speaker 08 I'm getting ready to go on tour.
55:54 Andrew Santino? You are?
55:55 Speaker 08 Yes, and I'm going, I'm going, it's gonna be the best tour ever.
55:57 Andrew Santino? Who, who opens for you on tour?
56:00 Speaker 08 We're still setting all that shit up. But, yeah, I'm going on tour April 12th. It begins.
56:06 Andrew Santino? April 12th?
56:06 Speaker 08 Yeah.
56:07 Andrew Santino? Inglewood, you start here in Inglewood, California?
56:09 Speaker 08 No, no. I started in Phoenix, I believe.
56:12 Andrew Santino? Phoenix, there we go. Dallas.
56:14 Bobby Lee? Wow, so, um, could we come to, would we get comped or backstage, all that stuff?
56:18 Speaker 08 Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Uh, she, you wanna come to the Santa Ana show?
56:22 Andrew Santino? Yeah, Santa Ana, we should do that in May.
56:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, let's go to the Santa Ana show dude.
56:25 Speaker 08 Hell yeah.
56:26 Bobby Lee? That'll be fun.
56:26 Andrew Santino? It's a consolation room. Are you selling good tickets right now, huh? You're killing it.
56:31 Speaker 08 That shit's selling pretty good, yeah. They're, they're coming because they want to see the crowd surf.
56:34 Andrew Santino? Yeah, they want to, they want to see you crowd surf.
56:36 Speaker 08 Yeah, I, I announced that I'm gonna be crowd surfing at one, uh, city on the tour. I don't know what city it is, it's just gonna speak to me in the moment.
56:43 Andrew Santino? I gotta be honest with you.
56:45 Speaker 08 Why is he laughing? I'm not too sure what, I said that's funny.
56:47 Andrew Santino? Well.
56:50 Speaker 08 What's, what's funny? Boy, I sure have some bad friends.
56:54 Andrew Santino? Very good, very good.
56:55 Speaker 08 That's the name of the show.
56:56 Andrew Santino? I love you, dude.
56:56 Speaker 08 Signs right there.
56:57 Andrew Santino? I do think, I do think I am curious to how the mechanics are gonna work.
57:02 Speaker 08 Of what?
57:03 Andrew Santino? On, on you cra- on you surfing in a crowd.
57:05 Speaker 08 Uh, yeah, man, I mean shit, my fans are going to hold me up as I dive into the crowd.
57:11 Andrew Santino? And you're gonna jump from the stage? Who are your fans? Triple H, The Rock? Bodybuilders. I mean.
57:19 Speaker 08 I mean, I hope that The Rock is a fan of me.
57:22 Andrew Santino? Who's there? Arnold Schwarzenegger, I mean, who's there, dude? I mean. Dave, let me.
57:26 Speaker 08 Listen, my fans.
57:27 Andrew Santino? Imagine like a 12-year-old skinny kid.
57:30 Speaker 08 What the fuck? What the fuck? It's kinda like when, you know, a mom can move a car, you know what I'm saying? That's that. Listen, my fans, I don't have bitch-ass fans, bro.
57:40 Andrew Santino? Okay.
57:41 Speaker 08 My fans are like really strong-minded, and so I feel like that'll just transfer over.
57:47 Andrew Santino? Okay, so say.
57:47 Speaker 08 The physical strength.
57:48 Andrew Santino? Tell me this, you, have you ever crowd surfed before?
57:50 Speaker 08 No, no, hell no.
57:51 Andrew Santino? Okay, but you, you are gonna do it at one of these shows? Andrew.
57:54 Speaker 08 Yeah. What is he, okay, what is he saying?
57:58 Andrew Santino? He's asking me to talk you out of doing it. I'd say that, I'd say that, what the fuck, that's crazy. He said, talk him out of it.
58:03 Speaker 08 Nah, nah, I, there's no talking me out of it.
58:06 Andrew Santino? He's saying, please, dead serious, please talk him out of it. Someone's gonna die is what he's saying. They can hear you on the mic now. Dave, you're gonna pick a show to do this, you're gonna crowd surf, you're gonna jump from the stage?
58:15 Speaker 08 Yes, yes, sir.
58:16 Andrew Santino? Wow. The brave man, I mean, I, I don't wanna crowd surf, I'm afraid of breaking a neck. You don't want him to do-
58:21 Speaker 08 What is he, what is he like, why is he talking to you and, and not-
58:25 Bobby Lee? Because he- I, I'll tell you why.
58:27 Speaker 08 Okay.
58:27 Bobby Lee? Can I tell you why?
58:28 Speaker 08 Go ahead, go ahead.
58:29 Bobby Lee? My bud. Um-
58:30 Andrew Santino? My bud.
58:32 Bobby Lee? I feel like I'm being the mean one.
58:33 Speaker 08 Yeah.
58:34 Bobby Lee? And he's playing the nice guy.
58:36 Andrew Santino? It's good cop, bad cop.
58:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I feel like the things I'm saying, I'm gonna get fucking lynched for. Not lynched.
58:41 Speaker 08 Lynched? Wow, okay. Right, right.
58:44 Bobby Lee? Crucified.
58:45 Speaker 08 Two days after Black History Month.
58:47 Bobby Lee? Crucified. Crucified for it. Honestly, I swear to God, that wasn't a thing.
58:50 Andrew Santino? Interesting choice of words.
58:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, I swear to God, that wasn't a thing. I swear to God. I swear to God, dude.
58:55 Andrew Santino? Oh, I get it.
58:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna be crucified for, and you're gonna be the saint.
58:59 Andrew Santino? Here's what it is.
59:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
59:00 Andrew Santino? You feel like society's gonna move you to the back of the bus.
59:07 Speaker 08 That, uh, that, better. Better than lynched.
59:09 Andrew Santino? Is that what you're-
59:10 Speaker 08 That's better than lynched.
59:10 Bobby Lee? That's what I feel like, yeah, yeah.
59:11 Speaker 08 That was a good one, but it was better than lynched.
59:13 Andrew Santino? You feel like the whole country's gonna see this, and they're gonna sic dogs on ya.
59:18 Andrew Santino? Is that what you're-
59:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
59:20 Andrew Santino? You feel like people are gonna watch this show-
59:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
59:22 Andrew Santino? And go, Andrew seems to be getting along with Dave.
59:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
59:25 Andrew Santino? Bobby, we should hit with a hu- with a fucking fire hose.
59:27 Bobby Lee? Yes.
59:28 Speaker 08 These are all, these are all, uh, things that have happened to black people.
59:31 Andrew Santino? What?
59:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that, that's me. That, you know what?
59:38 Speaker 08 Uh, it's funny, it's funny. Bro, I'm not a soft ass bitch.
59:41 Bobby Lee? I know you're not, and I'll tell you something, right, this is serious business. We're talking about serious business.
59:44 Speaker 08 Okay, let's get to the serious business.
59:46 Bobby Lee? And what I'm saying to you is, is that, you know, I mean, at the civil rights movement, you know, it was-
59:50 Speaker 08 Yeah, what about it? What, what do you just said, the civil rights, what about it?
59:54 Bobby Lee? What I'm saying is, is that, you know, I mean, we fought hard, you know, I mean, and lost hard.
59:58 Speaker 08 Who is, you, you, who is "we"?
1:00:01 Bobby Lee? I'm a-
1:00:02 Speaker 08 What were you doing there, this-
1:00:03 Bobby Lee? I'm a-
1:00:03 Andrew Santino? He was, he was actually a Yellow Panther. He was around back then.
1:00:06 Speaker 08 Yellow Panther, okay.
1:00:07 Bobby Lee? Well, I did my own speech.
1:00:09 Speaker 08 Okay.
1:00:09 Bobby Lee? You wanna hear it?
1:00:10 Speaker 08 Hate speech?
1:00:11 Bobby Lee? No. You wanna hear my, you wanna hear my speech?
1:00:13 Speaker 08 Yeah, go ahead.
1:00:13 Bobby Lee? I had a dreaming-
1:00:17 Bobby Lee? That white people would do their own laundry.
1:00:21 Bobby Lee? I had my own speech that night.
1:00:22 Speaker 08 Okay, that night? What night? What specific night? The civil rights movement was not just one night.
1:00:28 Andrew Santino? The dark night.
1:00:30 Speaker 08 I feel like he thinks it was just one singular night.
1:00:33 Andrew Santino? It was the dark night.
1:00:34 Speaker 08 Okay, oh yeah.
1:00:35 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so when Martin Luther had his great speech, I did my own speech.
1:00:38 Speaker 08 Okay.
1:00:38 Bobby Lee? At a Chinese restaurant.
1:00:39 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:00:40 Bobby Lee? It was four people there. But, you know, it moved those four.
1:00:44 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:00:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it really did.
1:00:46 Speaker 08 Okay, oh yeah.
1:00:47 Andrew Santino? I'm telling you, we're bonding worlds here.
1:00:50 Bobby Lee? We're bonding worlds. Do you prefer, like, let's see you and I win a war.
1:00:55 Speaker 08 Excellent. Okay, go ahead, go ahead.
1:00:56 Bobby Lee? You and I win a war.
1:00:57 Speaker 08 Okay, we're in a war.
1:00:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:00:59 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:01:02 Bobby Lee? I'm fine.
1:01:03 Speaker 08 Wait, before, can I just say something, because you mentioned war?
1:01:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:01:05 Speaker 08 Did you know that now they're not gonna allow transgender people in the military? That's pretty crazy. That's crazy. How do you feel about it?
1:01:13 Andrew Santino? How do you feel about it?
1:01:13 Speaker 08 Well, shit, I don't really, shit, I'll go to war with any of these bitches.
1:01:18 Bobby Lee? That's my, I gotta. Yeah, yeah.
1:01:21 Speaker 08 That's a pretty good, you guys like that one?
1:01:23 Bobby Lee? That's a really good one.
1:01:24 Andrew Santino? Really good use of the word.
1:01:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that's a really good, yeah.
1:01:26 Speaker 08 I've been, yeah.
1:01:27 Andrew Santino? I gotta, that lineup.
1:01:28 Speaker 08 I've been working on that joke.
1:01:29 Andrew Santino? Bitch ass N.
1:01:30 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:01:31 Andrew Santino? I've wanted to use those three words so bad in conjunction.
1:01:34 Speaker 08 It's pretty good, man. I like saying those words, man.
1:01:38 Bobby Lee? I just got it, Andrew.
1:01:39 Andrew Santino? Say it.
1:01:39 Bobby Lee? And I want you to say it.
1:01:40 Andrew Santino? Uh.
1:01:40 Bobby Lee? Right? A sequel to a movie, and tell me the movie.
1:01:44 Andrew Santino? That he needs to be in?
1:01:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:01:46 Andrew Santino? A sequel to a movie that he needs to be in?
1:01:50 Andrew Santino? Fences.
1:01:53 Bobby Lee? Wow, that's.
1:01:55 Andrew Santino? Fences.
1:01:56 Bobby Lee? Wow.
1:01:56 Andrew Santino? Fences.
1:01:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:01:57 Speaker 06 Did anyone win an Oscar?
1:01:59 Bobby Lee? What?
1:01:59 Speaker 06 Did anyone win an Oscar for that movie?
1:02:01 Bobby Lee? Yes.
1:02:04 Speaker 06 Driving Miss Daisy?
1:02:06 Bobby Lee? Oh, come on, man.
1:02:09 Speaker 08 Boy, I sure have some bad friends.
1:02:11 Andrew Santino? There we go.
1:02:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a little dick.
1:02:13 Speaker 08 Okay, all right.
1:02:14 Bobby Lee? Look at me, little guy. A big guy, whatever. You know what I mean? I have a little dick. I have malfunctions in my body, right?
1:02:21 Speaker 08 A malfunction?
1:02:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and I've had people tease me my whole life, been bullied.
1:02:24 Speaker 08 Why are you talking about your body like it's a machine?
1:02:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had, I've been bullied.
1:02:28 Speaker 08 Okay, yeah, I've seen.
1:02:29 Bobby Lee? And we have the same cause.
1:02:32 Speaker 08 Same cause?
1:02:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:02:33 Speaker 08 You mean same cause?
1:02:34 Bobby Lee? We're in the same group.
1:02:35 Speaker 08 I, I don't think I want to be in that group.
1:02:38 Bobby Lee? But you are.
1:02:39 Speaker 08 I don't think I'm in that group.
1:02:40 Bobby Lee? You remember?
1:02:41 Speaker 08 I'm in a group.
1:02:41 Bobby Lee? You remember when in the, in casting directors, you'd be like, we're looking for white, Hispanic and other.
1:02:47 Andrew Santino? Right, you're other.
1:02:47 Bobby Lee? We're other.
1:02:48 Speaker 08 We're, okay.
1:02:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:02:49 Andrew Santino? He's saying bonding you as minorities as well.
1:02:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we're other dudes. I feel it, man.
1:02:53 Speaker 08 Minorities.
1:02:54 Bobby Lee? And you, you, you, you, you, you're a success. And you're killing it?
1:02:59 Speaker 08 Thank you.
1:02:59 Bobby Lee? What a resilient young man.
1:03:01 Speaker 08 Thank you. You know, of all, against all odds, I'm doing it.
1:03:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, dude.
1:03:05 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
1:03:06 Bobby Lee? Resilient.
1:03:06 Speaker 08 Oxygen tank on stage.
1:03:08 Andrew Santino? You, yeah, you don't have one, you don't have one now.
1:03:10 Speaker 08 No, I'm doing pretty good right now, man. I'm on my health journey, you know, I've put down the cup and I've picked up the water.
1:03:15 Andrew Santino? So no more, no more permethazine?
1:03:18 Speaker 08 Uh, I'm not gonna say no more. Oh, there's the picture right there.
1:03:20 Bobby Lee? Wait, hold on.
1:03:21 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:03:22 Bobby Lee? You literally have an oxygen.
1:03:23 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah, that was for 20,000 people.
1:03:26 Bobby Lee? My god.
1:03:27 Speaker 08 More than that, bro.
1:03:27 Bobby Lee? Amazing.
1:03:28 Speaker 08 Well, yeah, at the United Center.
1:03:29 Bobby Lee? Now, let's be real for a second.
1:03:30 Andrew Santino? It's my hometown.
1:03:31 Bobby Lee? Can I be real?
1:03:32 Speaker 08 Chicago?
1:03:32 Andrew Santino? Yep.
1:03:33 Speaker 08 Chi-Rac, okay.
1:03:34 Bobby Lee? Can we help you?
1:03:36 Speaker 08 Uh, I don't think I need help with anything right now.
1:03:38 Bobby Lee? I'll be real now, you know, because.
1:03:40 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:03:40 Bobby Lee? I'll be real with you and this is, and I.
1:03:42 Speaker 08 This is gonna say so bull.
1:03:43 Bobby Lee? No, I'm not gonna say any bullshit. I'm not gonna say any bullshit. I'm not gonna.
1:03:45 Speaker 08 Go ahead, go ahead.
1:03:46 Bobby Lee? No, no, because, you know, I was dear friends with Ralphie.
1:03:49 Andrew Santino? Yes.
1:03:49 Bobby Lee? Right? And I never said anything.
1:03:51 Speaker 08 Rest in peace.
1:03:51 Bobby Lee? I never said anything.
1:03:53 Andrew Santino? Right.
1:03:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and I, I've always regretted that I didn't. It's like, you know, when people have a drug addiction at the store, right? I always go up to them, if you ever want to go to a meeting, I'll take you. And I, I always do.
1:04:02 Andrew Santino? Well, for your reference, I don't know if you know Bobby is a.
1:04:04 Bobby Lee? A recovering alcoholic.
1:04:05 Speaker 08 Yeah, I do, yeah, I do know that for sure.
1:04:06 Bobby Lee? So what I'm saying is, is that I'm, jokes aside.
1:04:09 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:04:10 Bobby Lee? Is there anything we can do? Because it's like, at the end of the day, we want you to get healthy here.
1:04:14 Speaker 08 Mm-hmm, and I'm, and I'm working on that, you know?
1:04:16 Bobby Lee? But what are you doing?
1:04:17 Speaker 08 What am I doing? Uh, I'm exercising, eating correctly.
1:04:21 Bobby Lee? Okay, good.
1:04:21 Speaker 08 Drinking a lot of water.
1:04:22 Bobby Lee? Good, good, good, good.
1:04:22 Speaker 08 You know, I recently got out of the hospital and that was like a wake-up call for me of sorts.
1:04:27 Andrew Santino? What happened, what happened that made you go to the hospital?
1:04:29 Speaker 08 Uh, a bunch of bullshit. Uh, but yeah, I'm doing good now.
1:04:33 Andrew Santino? You're fine.
1:04:33 Bobby Lee? You're fine.
1:04:34 Andrew Santino? Did you have a serio- a serious incident that made you go to the hospital that?
1:04:37 Speaker 08 Uh, yeah.
1:04:38 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
1:04:39 Speaker 08 But I'm chilling now, you know what I'm saying? I'm making the changes, you know?
1:04:43 Andrew Santino? Well, what he's saying is we want Dave Blunt's around.
1:04:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we really, really.
1:04:46 Speaker 08 Thank you, I appreciate that, man.
1:04:47 Andrew Santino? I think you're very talented and very.
1:04:48 Speaker 08 I think what you can do for me is, you know, just emotional support.
1:04:51 Andrew Santino? There you go.
1:04:51 Speaker 08 You know what I'm saying? You know, a couple atta boys, claps.
1:04:54 Andrew Santino? Atta boys.
1:04:55 Bobby Lee? Atta boy.
1:04:56 Speaker 08 And, uh, yeah.
1:04:57 Bobby Lee? So are your, are your parents still together?
1:04:59 Speaker 08 My mom, well, my dad passed away when I was young, but my mom, my mom, she's my everything, yeah.
1:05:03 Andrew Santino? His dad died too.
1:05:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I'm so sorry, buddy.
1:05:05 Speaker 08 Rest in peace.
1:05:06 Andrew Santino? Another thing you have in common.
1:05:07 Bobby Lee? Another, we have so much in common.
1:05:09 Speaker 08 We wa- we might be like.
1:05:10 Bobby Lee? Bloodthirst.
1:05:11 Speaker 08 Did we just become bad friends?
1:05:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, we did, yeah. I want to do a movie called War Babies with you.
1:05:16 Speaker 08 War Babies, yeah, I'll go to War Babies.
1:05:18 Bobby Lee? No, we, no, our father was, you know, black.
1:05:21 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
1:05:21 Bobby Lee? And he did a couple of wars in different places.
1:05:23 Andrew Santino? He was, he loved war.
1:05:24 Bobby Lee? And then we're offspring of that black man.
1:05:27 Speaker 08 I'd watch that movie. I feel like we could sell that.
1:05:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:05:30 Andrew Santino? I don't know if you could.
1:05:33 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, I don't think.
1:05:34 Speaker 08 Nah, not like Netflix, we could, we could probably do a Tubi release.
1:05:36 Andrew Santino? I would love to see it.
1:05:38 Speaker 08 I think we could do a Tubi release, you know, Plex, free movies and Tubi.
1:05:41 Andrew Santino? I feel like it might end up on YouTube. It's gonna be a YouTube film.
1:05:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:05:43 Andrew Santino? War Babies.
1:05:44 Bobby Lee? So you, you live in L- where do you live?
1:05:46 Speaker 08 I live in LA now. I recently moved here, well, back in June, I moved here.
1:05:50 Bobby Lee? You like it?
1:05:51 Speaker 08 Yeah. I, I didn't like it at first, then I went back home to visit and I'm like, I have to fuck out of here and get back to LA.
1:05:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:05:57 Speaker 08 So now I love it. This is my new home now.
1:05:59 Bobby Lee? Good, dude.
1:06:00 Andrew Santino? You're gonna be touring from here. It's hard to tour from LA. There's two guys that tour from LA. It's tough, I will say.
1:06:04 Speaker 08 What do you mean it's hard?
1:06:05 Andrew Santino? Well, I mean, you, you're flying across the country and you're.
1:06:07 Speaker 08 Oh, no, I don't fly. Fuck all that. I'm going on a tour bus.
1:06:11 Andrew Santino? Oh, right, okay, so you.
1:06:12 Bobby Lee? When's the last time you've flown?
1:06:13 Speaker 08 Uh, when I came here. When I came here, when I did, when I did to the Chicago, like, the fucking United Center, we drove there, bro. It was thirty hours. That was the worst mistake of my fucking life.
1:06:24 Andrew Santino? That's a far drive.
1:06:25 Speaker 08 Yeah, bro, I was on a fucking.
1:06:27 Bobby Lee? I'm not trying to be funny.
1:06:28 Speaker 08 Oh, just, can I, can I finish for free?
1:06:29 Bobby Lee? Go ahead, go ahead.
1:06:30 Speaker 08 So, yeah, man, we drove there and it was in a Sprinter van. Why does he look like he can't, like, are you good?
1:06:39 Speaker 08 Why did you, like, get away from the mic and, like, turn?
1:06:41 Bobby Lee? I'm really listening.
1:06:42 Speaker 08 Okay, but, no, you're not. Like, you was, you was turned to what?
1:06:44 Bobby Lee? I have slanty ears, too.
1:06:46 Speaker 08 Oh, okay, all right, all right.
1:06:47 Bobby Lee? I have to lean it this way. God, you're being racist.
1:06:49 Speaker 08 Oh, my bad, all right, all right. I like that jacket, by the way. But, uh, no, man, yeah, it was in a fucking Sprinter van and that shit sucked. It was thirty hours, nonstop driving. We didn't stop at all. And the fucking seatbelt buckle was poking me in my ass. At least I hope it was a seatbelt buckle.
1:07:03 Andrew Santino? Right. Never know with Sprinter vans. But now you're gonna be on a tour bus.
1:07:07 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:07:07 Andrew Santino? We did, we did the tour bus, him and I.
1:07:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we did. And don't, don't, you can't poo.
1:07:12 Speaker 08 I I still I've heard you can't shit on the bus.
1:07:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you can't shit.
1:07:14 Speaker 08 I've seen that in the show.
1:07:15 Andrew Santino? Well, you physically can't. It's also an uncomfortable. It's the bathroom is small. The toilet's against the door. You can't do it.
1:07:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:07:22 Andrew Santino? You cannot do it.
1:07:22 Speaker 08 Mine's got a pretty big bathroom in it, though.
1:07:25 Andrew Santino? Really?
1:07:26 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:07:26 Andrew Santino? Okay, because ours didn't definitely not have a big bathroom.
1:07:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:07:29 Andrew Santino? We had to put shit in the shower because we ran out of storage space. But go ahead and ask the question.
1:07:34 Bobby Lee? I I don't wanna.
1:07:34 Andrew Santino? Go ahead.
1:07:35 Bobby Lee? I can't, I can't.
1:07:35 Andrew Santino? Why?
1:07:36 Bobby Lee? It's the time passed and it's like, it's rude and I don't like it.
1:07:38 Andrew Santino? What was it?
1:07:39 Speaker 08 I don't like it, yeah.
1:07:40 Bobby Lee? I can't. It's it's gonna it it the timing. You know how in comedy, there's timing?
1:07:44 Speaker 08 Yeah, comedic time.
1:07:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, it had to be there. I don't have the confidence to say it.
1:07:47 Andrew Santino? I'm gonna guess.
1:07:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:07:49 Andrew Santino? As a comedian.
1:07:50 Bobby Lee? Okay, good.
1:07:51 Andrew Santino? I'm gonna guess it had something to do with the flight.
1:07:54 Speaker 08 Oh, yeah, we can talk about this. Yeah, let's talk about it.
1:07:57 Bobby Lee? It wasn't gonna be funny, but I was just curious about.
1:08:02 Bobby Lee? When people see you get on the plane, do they get scared?
1:08:07 Bobby Lee? I mean, imagine it.
1:08:08 Speaker 04 My uncle in Germany, who's bigger than you, have to buy the whole aisle.
1:08:14 Speaker 08 The whole aisle? Like the aisle that people walk down?
1:08:17 Bobby Lee? No, the the.
1:08:18 Speaker 08 Like the row, the row.
1:08:20 Speaker 04 The whole.
1:08:21 Speaker 08 No.
1:08:21 Bobby Lee? You get the row, right?
1:08:22 Speaker 08 No, two seats, though. Two seats. Not the row.
1:08:24 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:08:25 Speaker 08 Not the row.
1:08:26 Bobby Lee? Good.
1:08:27 Speaker 08 Not the row.
1:08:28 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. And they don't get scared, so that's good. I've answered my own question.
1:08:33 Speaker 04 Do you have a girlfriend?
1:08:34 Speaker 08 Uh, we recently just broke up.
1:08:36 Bobby Lee? Oh, no. You're free.
1:08:38 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:08:38 Andrew Santino? You're free, dude.
1:08:39 Bobby Lee? You broke up with her, right?
1:08:41 Speaker 08 Yeah, how did that happen? Uh, yes.
1:08:45 Bobby Lee? You like the white?
1:08:45 Speaker 08 Kinda. It was like a mutual thing.
1:08:47 Bobby Lee? You like the white stuff?
1:08:47 Andrew Santino? What flavor? Yeah, what flavor do you like?
1:08:50 Speaker 08 Man, come on, bro.
1:08:51 Andrew Santino? What flavor? You like vanilla?
1:08:52 Speaker 08 Man.
1:08:52 Bobby Lee? Look at it right now.
1:08:53 Andrew Santino? French vanilla, I bet.
1:08:55 Speaker 08 Okay, it's not even necessarily white. That's just my track record.
1:08:59 Andrew Santino? Ah.
1:08:59 Speaker 08 Is white.
1:09:00 Bobby Lee? Ah.
1:09:00 Speaker 08 I'm attracted to all of them, you know, but.
1:09:02 Bobby Lee? But not Rocket Road.
1:09:03 Speaker 08 I shoot for black, but I land at white.
1:09:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:09:06 Speaker 08 You know what I'm saying?
1:09:06 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Um, you're in L.A. now, guy?
1:09:09 Speaker 08 I don't really like L.A. women, man. I usually, uh, go outside of L.A. for the women.
1:09:15 Andrew Santino? Like Chatsworth?
1:09:16 Speaker 08 Chatsworth? What's that?
1:09:17 Andrew Santino? What do we? You mean surrounding Los Angeles? You mean all out of California as a whole?
1:09:21 Speaker 08 No, I usually be like flying bitches out type shit.
1:09:24 Andrew Santino? You be flying bitches out?
1:09:25 Bobby Lee? That's the best way, dog.
1:09:27 Speaker 08 Yes, sir.
1:09:28 Bobby Lee? Congratulations, player.
1:09:29 Andrew Santino? We gotta fly these bitches out.
1:09:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you're gonna fly them out.
1:09:32 Andrew Santino? And you putting them up first class?
1:09:34 Speaker 08 Nah.
1:09:34 Andrew Santino? No.
1:09:35 Bobby Lee? Coach, right?
1:09:35 Andrew Santino? Coach, baby.
1:09:36 Speaker 08 Spirit flight.
1:09:37 Bobby Lee? Middle seat, spirit middle.
1:09:39 Andrew Santino? And what if, and what if they, cause he likes to, he, he often not, sorry. Sometimes Bobby has friends that fly out.
1:09:46 Speaker 08 Okay.
1:09:46 Andrew Santino? But, eh, but I'm curious to know, do they stay in a hotel or they stay at your house?
1:09:50 Speaker 08 They stay with me, man.
1:09:51 Andrew Santino? What if they say, I, I want a hotel, would you get them a hotel?
1:09:54 Speaker 08 Uh, those ones I usually just go, ah, I don't think it's gonna work out.
1:09:57 Andrew Santino? It's not gonna work out?
1:09:58 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:09:59 Bobby Lee? Do, you know what? You know the signs.
1:10:01 Andrew Santino? He knows the signs.
1:10:02 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:10:02 Bobby Lee? You know when they're using you?
1:10:04 Speaker 08 No, no, I don't. Now, I, no, I don't.
1:10:06 Bobby Lee? What do you mean?
1:10:07 Speaker 08 I don't know when they're using me.
1:10:08 Bobby Lee? Oh, you don't?
1:10:09 Speaker 08 It's hard for me to tell.
1:10:10 Bobby Lee? Sometimes they do.
1:10:11 Speaker 08 Sometimes they do, yeah.
1:10:12 Bobby Lee? So you've flown.
1:10:13 Speaker 08 Most of the time they do.
1:10:14 Bobby Lee? Some, you've flown somebody out.
1:10:15 Speaker 08 Yes.
1:10:15 Bobby Lee? You realize that they were using you.
1:10:17 Speaker 08 Yes.
1:10:17 Bobby Lee? And that hurts.
1:10:18 Andrew Santino? That hurts.
1:10:19 Speaker 08 It hurt, cause she was living with me, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Aw, man.
1:10:23 Bobby Lee? But that's happened, has it not happened to me?
1:10:25 Speaker 08 It has. Damn.
1:10:26 Andrew Santino? He's gone through that. And so, do they ask for money and shit?
1:10:29 Speaker 08 Yeah, yeah.
1:10:30 Andrew Santino? Say, will you buy me shit?
1:10:32 Speaker 08 Yeah, but these ones, man, these are like real trench bitches. Do you know what a trench bitch is?
1:10:37 Bobby Lee? I can guess.
1:10:38 Andrew Santino? Who go trench bitch for?
1:10:39 Speaker 08 I don't think you'll be able to find it. Something from like World War II pop up.
1:10:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:10:43 Speaker 08 Oh, that's a song. Who sings that?
1:10:45 Andrew Santino? Oh, Black.
1:10:45 Speaker 08 Black Young.
1:10:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:10:48 Andrew Santino? Black Young.
1:10:48 Bobby Lee? Let's see photos of some trench bitches.
1:10:50 Andrew Santino? Let me read the lyrics.
1:10:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:10:52 Speaker 08 I didn't know this was a song.
1:10:54 Andrew Santino? I put my life on the line, I'mma break up with you.
1:10:56 Bobby Lee? Don't do it white. Do it like, like they do it. Let's go.
1:10:59 Speaker 06 Should sing it together.
1:11:00 Andrew Santino? Yeah. I put my life on the line, I'mma break up with you, ho. It's over. You've been disrespectful. I hope crazy house come get you, ho. Pistol by the dresser, cause I'm sleeping by my pistol, ho. I don't tongue wrestle when you speaking on my bitches, ho. I can't put, I can't put my bitch before my bro, cause my bro, that's my bro, but my bro, he gotta know. Then he can't disrespect my ho. She ain't just no, wait, she ain't just no any ho. She's something like my mind, ho. Even though she my side bitch, I buy her a Range Rover.
1:11:31 Speaker 08 Wow.
1:11:32 Bobby Lee? That's really good.
1:11:33 Speaker 08 That was good, that was good, that was good.
1:11:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that was really good.
1:11:34 Speaker 08 I like how you did the rover thing. Rover, yeah.
1:11:36 Andrew Santino? Let's do, and he didn't even do that. I wrote that for you, black youngsters, so reach out.
1:11:39 Bobby Lee? Can I see a photo of a trench hat?
1:11:42 Andrew Santino? Wait, hold on, hold on. The next lyric literally says, "Trench bitch."
1:11:45 Bobby Lee? Trench bitch.
1:11:45 Andrew Santino? "She don't give a fuck about rich bitch." I keep my, oh, so you like a trench bitch. This, this means she is...
1:11:52 Speaker 08 She's from the trenches.
1:11:53 Andrew Santino? She's from the streets.
1:11:54 Speaker 08 The trenches.
1:11:54 Andrew Santino? Right.
1:11:55 Speaker 08 The trenches, yeah. She's not used to like luxury lifestyle and shit.
1:11:58 Andrew Santino? Our generation calls them real ones.
1:12:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, the real ones, yeah.
1:12:02 Speaker 08 Trench bitches, yeah.
1:12:03 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
1:12:03 Bobby Lee? Anyway, um...
1:12:04 Andrew Santino? Well, listen up, Dave Blunts.
1:12:06 Bobby Lee? We are, you're, you gotta, you gotta come back here.
1:12:08 Andrew Santino? You gotta come, yeah. We love ya. Do you have any burning questions to ask us before we wrap up the show?
1:12:12 Speaker 08 Um...
1:12:13 Andrew Santino? Anything that you wanted to say?
1:12:15 Speaker 08 Well, I do wanna ask, man, you know, when we get in the new season, Dave?
1:12:19 Andrew Santino? Oh, never. It's over.
1:12:20 Speaker 08 It's over? It's like, seriously, it's over?
1:12:22 Andrew Santino? Yeah, yeah.
1:12:22 Speaker 08 Like, bro, no, like, come on.
1:12:24 Andrew Santino? No, it's done. That was one of the things, that's one of the requirements, uh, when, uh, when Hamas returned the Israeli hostage.
1:12:30 Speaker 08 Alright, alright, alright.
1:12:33 Bobby Lee? Alright, alright, alright, why? That's a true story.
1:12:36 Andrew Santino? No, no, no, when, when Hamas returned the hostages, they said, "But no more Dave."
1:12:39 Bobby Lee? No more Dave.
1:12:39 Andrew Santino? And that was part of the deal.
1:12:40 Speaker 08 Is it seriously done? My, I know bullshit.
1:12:43 Andrew Santino? No, it is done.
1:12:43 Speaker 08 That's my favorite show.
1:12:44 Andrew Santino? Oh, I'm sorry.
1:12:45 Bobby Lee? It's done, yeah.
1:12:45 Andrew Santino? Yeah, it's done.
1:12:46 Speaker 08 Damn, it kinda left on like a cliffhanger almost.
1:12:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah, well, blame Hamas.
1:12:49 Andrew Santino? Blame Hamas.
1:12:50 Speaker 08 Oh, no, seriously? How come you didn't get Bobby a role on the show?
1:12:54 Bobby Lee? That's a really interesting, that's a really interesting question. That I'd really never had the answer to.
1:13:02 Andrew Santino? I mean, I can give you the answer.
1:13:03 Speaker 08 Go ahead.
1:13:04 Andrew Santino? We really only worked with people that really kind of were, you know...
1:13:08 Speaker 08 What?
1:13:09 Andrew Santino? Those were like legit actors.
1:13:12 Andrew Santino? The show was filled with really good actors.
1:13:13 Speaker 08 Gator wasn't even, he had no roles before that.
1:13:15 Andrew Santino? Yeah, no, that's right. I was being facetious. Now, you know, I had no control over the show. I wish I could've got Bob on the show, but, uh, he...
1:13:22 Bobby Lee? Dave doesn't like me.
1:13:23 Andrew Santino? Dave doesn't like you, that's right.
1:13:24 Speaker 08 Seriously?
1:13:25 Bobby Lee? Let's just move on.
1:13:25 Andrew Santino? No, dude, no. Hollywood doesn't really work that way.
1:13:28 Bobby Lee? It doesn't work that way.
1:13:28 Andrew Santino? Well, I wish it did, but if it was my show, clearly, we're making our own shows together. But when you're on somebody else's show, you-
1:13:33 Speaker 08 You guys are having a show together?
1:13:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we have a Hulu animated show.
1:13:37 Andrew Santino? We do, and we have a game-
1:13:37 Bobby Lee? And we would love to have you in it.
1:13:39 Speaker 08 Hey, hell yeah, man.
1:13:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:13:40 Speaker 08 Shit, yeah, let me know, I'm down.
1:13:43 Andrew Santino? You'll play Jerome.
1:13:44 Speaker 08 I, hell yeah.
1:13:44 Bobby Lee? No, we'll make him like, a pixie or something.
1:13:47 Speaker 08 What's the, okay, what is the animated show about, if you guys want to?
1:13:51 Andrew Santino? I can't, we can't leak it.
1:13:52 Speaker 08 Okay, okay, okay.
1:13:53 Andrew Santino? But we, but we'll-
1:13:54 Bobby Lee? I swear to God, we're gonna use you.
1:13:57 Andrew Santino? Dave's on tour, go to, what is it, daveblunt.com?
1:13:59 Speaker 08 Dot co, dot co, some bastard took dot com.
1:14:02 Andrew Santino? We gotta get that out.
1:14:03 Bobby Lee? Oh, we gotta get them.
1:14:04 Speaker 08 Yeah.
1:14:04 Bobby Lee? We gotta get them.
1:14:05 Speaker 08 daveblunt.co.
1:14:06 Andrew Santino? Go to daveblunt.co, he's gonna be down there in the Crescent Ballroom, oh, Phoenix love, dude. House of Blues, Cambridge, he's going to Texas there, a bunch of Texas dates, Atlanta, and New York, the Market Hotel in New York. Well, Dave, do me a big favor, we appreciate you being on the show. We end the show by you saying something that you really feel deep in your heart to Rudy Jewels, if it's a truth you need to tell her, or something very powerful, give her a powerful message.
1:14:33 Speaker 08 To her?
1:14:34 Andrew Santino? She's young, yeah, she needs kind of a little bit of advice.
1:14:36 Speaker 08 How old is she?
1:14:36 Andrew Santino? She's, what are you, six?
1:14:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:14:38 Bobby Lee? Yes, she's six.
1:14:39 Andrew Santino? No, she's twenty, what, two?
1:14:41 Speaker 04 Twenty-three.
1:14:42 Andrew Santino? Twenty-three.
1:14:42 Speaker 08 Okay, um-
1:14:43 Andrew Santino? Give her some life advice that you've learned.
1:14:45 Speaker 08 Life advice, you know, shit, you know, you're in your twenties, this is the time to fuck up and make all the mistakes, do drugs, be in a relationship that's bad for you, you know what I'm saying? This is the time to do it now.
1:15:00 Andrew Santino? Yeah.
1:15:00 Speaker 08 So when you're thirty, like, you've been through shit, you're like, alright, now, now it's time for me to, you know, be a good person, citizen.
1:15:08 Andrew Santino? Level out.
1:15:09 Speaker 08 So, yeah, yeah.
1:15:10 Bobby Lee? Now, I want you to look in that camera right there and say, "Thank you for being a bad friend."
1:15:14 Speaker 08 Thank you for being a bad friend.
Previous We Bring Down the King Next More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy Page updated November 3, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated