Pod Insights Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists Singing Waiters (with Chanse McCrary) About this episode WE HAVE MERCH! https://artistsonartistsonartistsonartists.com/shop
Order up some dinner and a show! Boy do we have a treat for you this week on the podcast. You might know them from their Broadway open call auditions, but our special guests are most iconic from their work as singing waiters at Wish Upon a Burger, the most famous singing restaurant in New York. This week on the podcast they join us to talk about their dreams, favorite solos, and craziest memories. Mashing together the drama of wait staff AND backstage theater antics, this episode is one for the books!
Our guest this week is the one, the only Chanse McCrary who gave us so many improv gifts. You can find him on Smosh or on socials @phatchanse
This episode was filmed in the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter Theater, and tech-produced by Samuel Curtis. For live shows and events you can find more about them at dynastytypewriter.com.
To learn more about the BTS of this episode and to find a world of challenges, games, inside scoop, and the Artists being themselves, subscribe to our Patreon! You won't be disappointed with what you find. Check out patreon.com/aoaoaoapod
Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists is an improvised Hollywood roundtable podcast Created and Hosted by Kylie Brakeman, Jeremy Culhane, Angela Giarratana and Patrick McDonald. It is a production of Will Ferrell’s Big Money Players and iHeartMedia Podcasts. Executive Produced by Matt Apodaca and produced by Alexandra Dennis and Laservision Productions. Music By Gabriel Ponton and Edited by Conner McCabe. Thumbnails by Josh Fleury and logo design by Lucy Tomkiewicz.
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Transcript 10,989 words · 8 speakers
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1:38 Speaker 04 Welcome back to Artists on Artists on Artists. Ah, here's your food. That's right, today we're talking to singing waiters.
1:44 Speaker 05 Singing waiters are a very specific group of people. They are people that are incredible at singing, whether they be musical theater stars or pop artists in their own right. And they also work in places where they, at the same time, have to serve food. This is a real thing in many places, including Times Square. We sat down with five singing waiters from the restaurant Wish Upon a Burger. Let's listen in.
2:14 Speaker 06 And then I was like, um, we only carry that gluten free.
2:18 Speaker 07 Oh.
2:19 Speaker 06 And then she goes, yeah, she goes, I want a gluten filled. And I had never heard of that phrase before, gluten filled.
2:25 Speaker 05 Gluten filled.
2:25 Speaker 06 Oh, some of these stars are on this, this diet, this gluten filled diet. It's gone back around again.
2:32 Speaker 04 No way.
2:33 Speaker 07 Because it's actually good for you.
2:35 Speaker 04 Literally.
2:35 Speaker 07 Gluten is actually good for you.
2:37 Speaker 04 Wait, how though?
2:37 Speaker 07 It, it circles back your intestines, like your tract.
2:42 Speaker 04 No.
2:42 Speaker 07 Yes, it clears things out.
2:43 Speaker 04 No.
2:44 Speaker 07 It clears things out.
2:45 Speaker 04 No.
2:45 Speaker 06 A break check.
2:46 Speaker 05 It's like a break check for your body.
2:47 Speaker 06 Yeah.
2:48 Speaker 04 Wait, what? No way.
2:49 Speaker 05 It's like a break check for your body.
2:50 Speaker 04 I'm literally florid. I'm literally florid right now.
2:53 Speaker 06 You're florid?
2:55 Speaker 04 I'm florid.
2:55 Speaker 06 Are you closing tonight?
2:56 Speaker 04 Oh, I'm closing tonight.
2:57 Speaker 07 Oh, my God.
2:58 Speaker 06 That's why you're florid.
2:58 Speaker 04 I'm florid tonight and I'm closing.
3:00 Speaker 05 It's so, it's so crazy. We're sitting next together. We're sitting next together. I'm opener, I'm your closer.
3:06 Speaker 04 Literally.
3:06 Speaker 06 You're opening?
3:07 Speaker 07 Oh, wow.
3:07 Speaker 05 That's, have you guys seen all those TikToks about how the openers never talk to the closers? Openers do everything, closers do nothing.
3:13 Speaker 04 Oh, my God, that's a lie. We have to deal with all the musical theater people.
3:18 Speaker 06 Meanwhile, brunch army.
3:23 Speaker 06 Brunch army.
3:24 Speaker 07 We open and close.
3:26 Speaker 06 Scariest shift in the world. It's a one act.
3:28 Speaker 07 It's long. It's long. There's no breaks.
3:30 Speaker 06 People are the meanest at brunch than they will ever be in their lives.
3:35 Speaker 04 Well, they're cranky, they're hungover, they're tired and they want their food.
3:38 Speaker 06 And they want it now.
3:40 Speaker 05 That's true.
3:41 Speaker 07 And we don't have a gluten free menu at brunch.
3:43 Speaker 04 No way.
3:44 Speaker 07 It's all gluten.
3:45 Speaker 04 What?
3:45 Speaker 06 All gluten, just at night.
3:47 Speaker 04 Well, yeah, we introduce the gluten free menu at night.
3:50 Speaker 07 Wow.
3:50 Speaker 04 Cause like that's when a lot of people like the tourists kind of come in and they are usually the ones that have the allergies or the sensitivities.
3:58 Speaker 07 So are we gonna talk about our set for the next season?
4:00 Speaker 04 Yes, okay, yes.
4:02 Speaker 05 Wait, they have to know who we are. I mean, this is.
4:04 Speaker 06 Oh, my God.
4:04 Speaker 05 They're gonna be clipping this.
4:06 Speaker 06 I literally forgot.
4:06 Speaker 05 This is so funny. They're gonna be clipping this when we hit it big. They're gonna be clipping these.
4:11 Speaker 04 They're gonna literally be clipping us.
4:13 Speaker 05 This is the first time you see me, but it's not gonna be the last.
4:16 Speaker 06 I also think there's a lot of wish upon a burger, like, um, fans. When you wish upon a burger.
4:24 Speaker 06 I think there's so many fans of our restaurant that are gonna wanna like, they ask me questions like, what's it like back there? Do you guys party? Are you guys friends? And now we finally get to dish what's it like to work at the most famous singing restaurant in New York.
4:39 Speaker 05 Can I just say, it is like, this cast of When You Wish Upon A Burger is like, the best cast in a while.
4:46 Speaker 04 I think so.
4:46 Speaker 05 It's the best cast in a while.
4:48 Speaker 06 They're calling it like, the newer cast.
4:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's the Renaissance. It's like the Renaissance of burger.
4:52 Speaker 06 I can speak to this. I've been at this restaurant forever. And I can say, this cast is really, really solid. There are dud years, there are rebuilding years, there are years where it is not there. This year, we are there.
5:07 Speaker 05 Introduce yourself. So your name, you're like, literally a living legend.
5:10 Speaker 06 Oh, hello. Well, thank you so much. My name is Dinah Frye. And I have been working at Make A Wish Upon A Burger. Sorry, that's just the song. That's nonprofit night. That's nonprofit night.
5:26 Speaker 04 It's our nonprofit. We try to make a wish upon a burger. We get sick kids to come and we sing to them.
5:32 Speaker 06 Believe it or not, the name came first, the nonprofit came second.
5:35 Speaker 05 Really low energy, really low energy. We get about 20 kids a year who their make a wish was, is to come to our restaurant. And I'm like, no judging. That's, we could, you could get more, but you're more than welcome. You're more than welcome for this to be your wish. You're more than welcome for this to be your wish, honey.
5:50 Speaker 04 They usually just have the flu, and it's the worst. It's like, they're not really, like, they're not that sick.
5:55 Speaker 05 Yeah.
5:55 Speaker 06 Well, can't they hear they make a wish to the flu?
5:58 Speaker 05 Like, your make a wish is cause- They just end up getting us sick, is what I keep on saying about the nonprofit.
6:02 Speaker 04 And how are you singing Book of Mormon sick? You're not. You're literally a hooey.
6:06 Speaker 05 So, and we're not judging. Make a wish, you guys do you. It's weird you guys are now including the flu. It's weird.
6:13 Speaker 06 And eczema? I don't get it. Anyway, Dinah Frye. I don't know. It's different. You were destined to work in this industry. Oh, thank you so much. And, and you know, I've had my, my skirts with Broadway, but I really, really wanted to be here. And I have been in this kitchen for 55 years.
6:32 Speaker 07 I come out once a night, I sing my song and I go back. I have a bowl of chicken noodle soup and I have the happiest life in the world.
6:46 Speaker 05 And can I mention, by the way, Dinah, I mean, I love you so much. When you sing your big song, "Shy," from "What's the Fun of a Mattress," you bring the house down. You love that. And I wanted to mention Skirts with Broadway, your Etsy store, where you make skirts that are inspired by Broadway. I love your Phantom of the Opera skirt.
7:04 Speaker 07 Yes, yes. You go to etsy.com, backsplash shop, backsplash results for Make-A-Wish
7:16 Speaker 07 for Broadway skirts. Now, you're gonna wanna scroll down, scroll down, scroll down, scroll down. You're gonna get to the Phantom of the Opera skirt, which is, it kinda looks like a sort of yin yang sing- symbol because that is to symbolize the famous mask.
7:35 Speaker 05 Sing it. Sing the design.
7:39 Speaker 07 The Phantom of the Opera skirt is for the famous mask. And there are many others, of course, and I have to get your orders for Christmas this year so that I can send them, so that I can get started.
7:52 Speaker 05 I want a something rotten skirt.
7:54 Speaker 07 A something rotten skirt, okay.
7:56 Speaker 06 I want an Omari skirt.
7:58 Speaker 07 Oh, that's so good.
8:00 Speaker 05 I'll take a chess skirt, but not the revival, the original.
8:04 Speaker 07 No, you know what you're talking about. No. What? An Juliet for me. Okay, okay.
8:14 Speaker 07 An Juliet for me. An Juliet. Okay, everyone, airdrop me your measurements. I'll get it in time for Christmas. Twenty-seven, thirty-two. Whoa. Whoa. That's my jean size.
8:30 Speaker 07 You shot up.
8:32 Speaker 05 Thirty-two inch long skirt.
8:33 Speaker 07 Yeah.
8:36 Speaker 06 Wait, say your name, say your name and what you do.
8:38 Speaker 07 Dragging. Hi, I'm Teagan. Uh, I'm the tenor two of the group.
8:47 Speaker 05 Yeah, we also answered a tone, so that's his.
8:50 Speaker 07 That's like my ring.
8:53 Speaker 05 If you hear that, if you hear that on the walkie, you have to come running.
8:56 Speaker 07 Yeah, sometimes the chef gives orders.
8:59 Speaker 00 Table forty-two. And you know you have to go pay attention.
9:02 Speaker 06 I'm going.
9:03 Speaker 07 You know you're stealing waters.
9:04 Speaker 04 Or getting yelled at by a person.
9:06 Speaker 07 Oh, my god. Our boss is the worst.
9:08 Speaker 04 Literally.
9:08 Speaker 05 Can we talk about it?
9:09 Speaker 04 Yes.
9:10 Speaker 07 Now we can finally talk about it.
9:11 Speaker 04 Now we can finally talk about it.
9:11 Speaker 07 Tegan, talk about yourself first.
9:12 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
9:13 Speaker 07 I'll give you your spotlight. I'm Tegan. I went to U of M. I've been in New York for five.
9:18 Speaker 00 Clock it.
9:20 Speaker 07 I've been in New York for five years. Um, I have been on tour, um, but I have never booked anything on actual Broadway, yet. Yet.
9:29 Speaker 04 Yes.
9:29 Speaker 05 Yeah, wait, you're being shy about your tour. It was the military.
9:32 Speaker 00 Thank you for your service.
9:35 Speaker 07 And you're welcome.
9:36 Speaker 00 Thank you.
9:36 Speaker 07 And you know what? I never got... Never was... I never saw Battle.
9:39 Speaker 04 Thank you.
9:41 Speaker 06 But I think it's like, I think it's, I think it's really cool that you keep saying that you've done tour. Like, you've done tour.
9:47 Speaker 07 Right, not musical theater tour, but...
9:49 Speaker 06 Yeah, like, I...
9:49 Speaker 05 You're literally serving our country.
9:51 Speaker 07 I'm serving our country and I'm serving Broadway.
9:53 Speaker 00 Yes, yes.
9:55 Speaker 07 Food, not musicals.
9:57 Speaker 06 Yes, babe.
9:58 Speaker 07 I think I am probably the most well-versed in our menu. Uh, I helped, uh, the chef create it. Um, he takes suggestions from other musical theaters.
10:08 Speaker 04 Yes.
10:08 Speaker 06 One of the OGs.
10:09 Speaker 07 And you really crushed it. These names.
10:10 Speaker 06 The OGs.
10:10 Speaker 04 These parodies that you have come up with in the names, these silly things, this gene, yes.
10:17 Speaker 06 Literally?
10:18 Speaker 04 Gene.
10:19 Speaker 06 I will never forget the day, Tegan. I'm gonna get a little emotional thinking about it.
10:22 Speaker 04 Don't cry.
10:23 Speaker 06 I will never forget the day that you walked in and went, "We're serving a smash burger and we're not calling it Smash Burger..."
10:30 Speaker 07 Exactly.
10:31 Speaker 06 "...featuring Megan Hilty and Catherine McPhee." So now I, I have pride when I go, "Would you like the smash burger featuring Megan Hilty and, Megan Hilty and Catherine McPhee?"
10:40 Speaker 00 It's so good. And good, we have to talk about deer eggs and hamson.
10:46 Speaker 04 Greenwiches? The Greenwiches salad?
10:49 Speaker 07 Oh, my god.
10:49 Speaker 04 Would you like green, chicken with your Greenwiches?
10:51 Speaker 07 And we had a bolognese on the menu and we're not calling it spelling bolognese?
10:55 Speaker 05 Excuse me!
10:56 Speaker 07 It rolls out the tongue, honey. It's right there.
10:58 Speaker 05 Supes are called the musical?
11:01 Speaker 06 And it's Suppsicle, the musical of the day. So the soup is different every single time.
11:04 Speaker 05 Absolutely, yeah.
11:05 Speaker 04 And Operation Mint's Meat Pie, that was just...
11:07 Speaker 07 Yes.
11:08 Speaker 05 Well, it was just right there.
11:09 Speaker 07 It was right there.
11:10 Speaker 06 It was literally just like, right there. Anyway, but I remember that when you first walked in, you were like, there are so many things that we can up here.
11:17 Speaker 07 Money on the table.
11:18 Speaker 06 Money on the table.
11:19 Speaker 07 And not tips.
11:20 Speaker 04 Literally.
11:21 Speaker 06 Literally. We're in the money. We're in the game. Hi guys, what's up? My name is Ciara Buffton.
11:31 Speaker 05 And what's your tone?
11:34 Speaker 04 Ooh.
11:35 Speaker 06 I'm an alto.
11:35 Speaker 05 When you hear that, you know that she has done something wrong.
11:39 Speaker 06 I'm an alto. I'll say I'm a mover, not a dancer. I'd say a mover. Went to Pace University, top of my class, meaning I ran it from the top. I always say, can we do it from the top?
11:51 Speaker 05 We have to start it all over again.
11:52 Speaker 06 Literally.
11:53 Speaker 04 What was your GPA?
11:55 Speaker 06 I think...
11:58 Speaker 06 I was an alto.
11:59 Speaker 07 Okay, great.
12:00 Speaker 06 Yeah. Meto-soprano. Anyway, so, sorry, I'm so like, I was up all night last night because I am doing the open call tomorrow.
12:10 Speaker 04 No.
12:11 Speaker 06 For La La Land 2, they're doing the sequel.
12:12 Speaker 04 Wow, no way.
12:15 Speaker 06 So sorry, I'm like a little like, bleh, and I had to open this morning.
12:18 Speaker 04 What are you bringing in?
12:19 Speaker 06 So I'm like, literally, like, I was like, you know, when you're like working an audition and you had to open, it's kind of, my brain's just like all over.
12:25 Speaker 04 And you're like, literally always auditioning. Like, you're grinding.
12:28 Speaker 07 You go out more than anyone I know.
12:29 Speaker 06 No, thank you. And I think like, I think the job is getting the job. And I love that part of the job. I think it's one of my favorite parts.
12:37 Speaker 04 It's process.
12:38 Speaker 06 Yes, it's process. It's process, it's rehearsal, it's process.
12:41 Speaker 04 And you know what's not processed? Our food.
12:43 Speaker 05 No.
12:44 Speaker 06 See, look at that.
12:45 Speaker 04 Look at that smile.
12:46 Speaker 06 The brand integration is like Tegan's like butter.
12:48 Speaker 05 Tegan, I'd be careful because you really might have a future in restaurant business.
12:53 Speaker 04 Yes. Stop. I mean, the only restaurant I want to be in is Waitress.
12:57 Speaker 06 Yes, opening up.
13:00 Speaker 05 Sugar, butter.
13:01 Speaker 06 Flower.
13:04 Speaker 06 But I love this place. I love Tegan. I love all of you.
13:06 Speaker 07 By the way, why don't people order that?
13:08 Speaker 05 We have a bowl of sugar butter flour that people can buy.
13:11 Speaker 04 I just don't get, I don't think people want to eat raw flour.
13:14 Speaker 06 I don't know.
13:15 Speaker 05 Especially not at fucking dinner time, gluten free.
13:18 Speaker 04 Less preservatives.
13:19 Speaker 06 Literally.
13:19 Speaker 04 Literally.
13:21 Speaker 06 It is, I guess, like less preservatives.
13:22 Speaker 04 It is.
13:23 Speaker 06 But I just want to say I love this place. I think my favorite part about working here is just your smiley faces every single freaking day.
13:29 Speaker 04 You are too.
13:30 Speaker 06 I love you guys a lot. I really do. From the bottom of my heart, you make it easy. And I, I am happy that my survival job is something that gets me like contact with the ball. I get to practice. I get to sing. I always am like, I want to be a better dancer, right? I say that to everybody every morning. I go, I want to be a better, I want to be better at these dance calls. So I try to integrate that, right? I try to, I'm doing it across the floors, almost constantly. And you've been dancing on tables. You've been tangoing on these, on these four tops. I are.
13:58 Speaker 07 You play, you do the, you can't stop the beat solo. Come on, do it, do it. Just a little bit, a little bit, come on.
14:05 Speaker 06 The dance solo or?
14:06 Speaker 07 Whatever you want.
14:10 Speaker 06 Motion of the ocean or the rain in the sky. You can wonder if you want to, but I'm memorized why. And if you're trying to hold me down, I'm gonna spit in your eye and say, you can't stop the beat. Burger. God. Well done.
14:24 Speaker 05 And can I just say, and I don't know if I should say this out loud, but sometimes.
14:27 Speaker 07 Oh, we talked about this.
14:28 Speaker 05 When you're around the camera, the camera makes you tell the truth.
14:30 Speaker 07 Okay.
14:31 Speaker 06 We talked about this.
14:32 Speaker 07 We talked about this though.
14:33 Speaker 04 We talked about this.
14:34 Speaker 05 When you guys start singing, there is such a sexual tension between you two.
14:38 Speaker 04 Literally.
14:38 Speaker 05 But it only exists when you're singing.
14:40 Speaker 06 Isn't that so interesting?
14:41 Speaker 04 It's like when you're not singing, it's like you guys could not stand, it's like brother and sister.
14:45 Speaker 05 Yeah.
14:46 Speaker 04 But when you guys are singing, it's like I'm watching one of those weird videos where it's like brother and sister hook up.
14:50 Speaker 07 You guys, we talked about boundaries at staff meal.
14:53 Speaker 05 Yeah.
14:54 Speaker 07 We tried to date.
14:54 Speaker 04 I'm sorry, are we crossing a boundary?
14:55 Speaker 07 We're not doing that.
14:56 Speaker 06 It didn't work down there like that. You'll have to try again.
15:01 Speaker 06 You have to try again. I've seen so many relationships come through these walls. I've seen so many ill-advised hookups.
15:12 Speaker 06 Between altos and tenors that they never speak of it again the next day. You guys have to try again.
15:19 Speaker 04 When diner talks, you gotta listen to diner.
15:22 Speaker 06 Diner, okay, please, enough on me, enough on you. Girlies, step into your shine right now.
15:27 Speaker 04 It is my turn?
15:28 Speaker 06 Step into it.
15:29 Speaker 04 Okay, hi, my name is Sam Kelly. I am a bassatone. I'm one of the, with some of the deepest voices you could ever hear. There's not a lot of parts for me. And not a lot of songs built for my vocal range. So, uh, but this is the noise you hear over the PA system when they're looking for me. Ha. I'm kind of the punk rock vibe. I do a lot of the punk pop punk rock songs. Green Day, the musical, when it came out, was my Eucharist. That was my body of Christ, if you will.
16:06 Speaker 06 Or that really, really low song in Hattie's town?
16:09 Speaker 04 Yes. Why do they build the wall? Why do they build the wall?
16:14 Speaker 05 You're so valuable to me, because I do all the, you know, um, Four Seasons, I do the Frankie Valli's. And you do the, why don't you? Bow, bow, bow, bow.
16:24 Speaker 06 Wow, that's honestly something.
16:26 Speaker 04 That is really good.
16:31 Speaker 04 Don't wanna be an American idiot.
16:35 Speaker 04 Sam, one nation controlled by the media.
16:39 Speaker 06 Up, up, kick down.
16:41 Speaker 04 So yeah, that's a little bit of Sam Kelly.
16:43 Speaker 05 It's awesome. And you, um, you're working on your own piece, right?
16:47 Speaker 04 Yes, oh my god, thank you.
16:48 Speaker 05 Yeah, you're welcome.
16:49 Speaker 04 I, I.
16:50 Speaker 05 Teagan? I mean, what better time to give the people what they want?
16:53 Speaker 04 Thank you, this is actually such a good opportunity. I'm working on my own musical, it's an original, uh, original musical.
17:01 Speaker 05 I didn't know that!
17:02 Speaker 04 No, like, we talk about it a lot, we talk about it a lot, like, this is literally a podcast, this is like the perfect time.
17:08 Speaker 06 This is like literally a podcast.
17:09 Speaker 05 I didn't know you were working on something on your own.
17:11 Speaker 04 No, yeah, and all of you guys have parts.
17:12 Speaker 06 Wait, you didn't know?
17:13 Speaker 05 I didn't know that!
17:14 Speaker 04 How did you not know that?
17:15 Speaker 05 I guess I wasn't told.
17:17 Speaker 04 Well, the restaurant just, it makes me ideate.
17:19 Speaker 05 It was in the text, it was in the text. Which text?
17:22 Speaker 06 Are you on, um, are you on Moana Lives Forever?
17:27 Speaker 05 I'm on How Far I'll Go, Gert?
17:30 Speaker 04 Oh, that's the other one.
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19:09 Speaker 04 Moana lives forever. That was when we were gonna go see Lion King, and you said you were busy or you were sick or something, and so we just created that thread. I think we didn't even realize you weren't on it.
19:17 Speaker 06 How far off yogurt? I'm so pissed our manager didn't take that, by the way. That was a great patch.
19:22 Speaker 07 That was a really good one.
19:23 Speaker 05 I don't care. Yogurt isn't a menu item. That was the best.
19:27 Speaker 07 It should be on there. Just make it yogurt that you just...
19:28 Speaker 06 Make it an acai bowl.
19:30 Speaker 04 So, yes, I'm working on an original musical. I'm very excited about... Each of you have a part, and I don't wanna say too much right now, but it's gonna change music forever. It's gonna change musicals and how we look at them forever. That's awesome. Yeah. In what way? And I don't wanna say too much, but what if a musical never stopped?
19:55 Speaker 06 Oh, a forever-sicle. That sounded like a threat.
19:59 Speaker 04 And what if, when the musical ends, you can start it again and it feels like you're picking up in the middle?
20:07 Speaker 07 So like a circle?
20:08 Speaker 06 So like Songs for a New World?
20:10 Speaker 04 So no, it's different and it's gonna change musicals forever. I can tell you guys a little bit more about it, but I don't wanna take over this whole podcast.
20:21 Speaker 06 Okay, no worries.
20:22 Speaker 07 Just tell us the lead.
20:28 Speaker 04 Tegan, it's you.
20:31 Speaker 04 Tegan, you literally saw active combat. I have to put you in it.
20:35 Speaker 07 Is it about active combat?
20:37 Speaker 04 No, but I just feel so bad.
20:42 Speaker 04 So I actually had a really fun question to get us.
20:44 Speaker 05 My ears are burning. I guess I'll introduce myself.
20:48 Speaker 06 Okay, here we go.
20:49 Speaker 05 My name's Buzzy Baldwin. I love Broadway, but I'm kind of a little bit more of a gossip than I am when it comes to musicals. You might know me as the Broadway Babbler on TikTok. I have lots of secrets that I divulge.
21:05 Speaker 04 The goss you're dropping all the time.
21:07 Speaker 05 And I would say that I work in this diner to kind of be in the middle of Times Square and over here. There are things that are happening here and there. I bus in from New Hampshire every morning just to be amongst you wonderful guys and gals and guys and gals.
21:28 Speaker 06 Who was the one that first reported that Lea Michele's cover in Funny Girl was doing a good job?
21:35 Speaker 05 I did. I said, "This just in, Lea Michele's cover doing good." Because I was standing outside after the show and I saw one person walk out and go, "She did pretty good." Who was the one to report that Jack Black would be taking over the role of Beetlejuice's dog? I did that. Beetlejuice's dog is now being played by Jack Black.
21:58 Speaker 04 He did it right here, right now.
21:59 Speaker 06 Who reported that one of the supporting? Characters in The Notebook was a little pitchy last week.
22:06 Speaker 05 I did that. And actually, I made that up. And someone said it's actually true. And so I guess I'm a bit of a fortune teller.
22:15 Speaker 04 Who was the one that reported Lion King's gazelle too was out for the camp due to a gonorrhea outbreak?
22:21 Speaker 05 That was me and I did do that. I'm so sorry to you, Jessica. I didn't know.
22:26 Speaker 06 Oh, this is inside a trading. You gave the gonorrhea?
22:29 Speaker 05 Gosh, something around this camera makes me tell the truth. I gave Jessica the gazelle gonorrhea.
22:36 Speaker 04 Who hasn't given someone gonorrhea?
22:38 Speaker 05 This is New York City. This is Times Square.
22:40 Speaker 06 We work in Times Square.
22:41 Speaker 04 Those stairs are literally gonorrhea.
22:44 Speaker 05 That's Broadway hayne.
22:46 Speaker 06 It's Broadway hayne. What's your same bar code? When did you get gonorrhea?
22:49 Speaker 05 No, but I love working here. This is my favorite place to be because you guys are so much fun to hang out with. And I get to sing all the songs that you can basically speak. So that's really fun.
22:59 Speaker 04 Well, let's talk about our songs that we like to sing.
23:02 Speaker 06 Average night at Wish Upon a Burger. You're coming in. It's what, 6 o'clock? What are we starting with? You're hearing "It's a Hard Not Life" from me and Dinah. You're hearing us. It's a hard knock life.
23:13 Speaker 05 It's a hard not life.
23:15 Speaker 06 For us. It's a hard not life. For us.
23:20 Speaker 04 Beautiful.
23:21 Speaker 06 Instead of treating.
23:23 Speaker 05 Do you want me to fight for you, by the way? Because I'll fight for you right now.
23:27 Speaker 04 Someone needs to.
23:27 Speaker 06 Do you want me to fight for you?
23:29 Speaker 05 Let me tell you something.
23:30 Speaker 06 What do you mean? Somebody needs to.
23:32 Speaker 05 I've been thinking about it.
23:33 Speaker 06 What do you mean?
23:34 Speaker 04 I think we've all been thinking about it.
23:34 Speaker 05 You shouldn't have to get down on your knees anymore. You're too old to do that.
23:38 Speaker 04 The orphan role, you've aged out of the little orphan role.
23:41 Speaker 05 You shouldn't have to do that choreo. It's so hard on your knees.
23:43 Speaker 06 No, I don't want you to treat me any different. I have, yes, I'm older. That doesn't mean I have to stop.
23:50 Speaker 04 Her knees are fine. Pull up your long skirt.
23:53 Speaker 06 Let me pull up my long skirt and show you my damn knees. Oh my God. Oh my.
24:00 Speaker 06 What?
24:01 Speaker 05 It looked like cauliflower. It looked like cauliflower.
24:05 Speaker 04 Cover it. Health code. Health code violation.
24:07 Speaker 06 Cauliflower just for Christmas with blood. What?
24:10 Speaker 05 I didn't know a knee could be yellow.
24:11 Speaker 06 Is something wrong with my knees? Wait, look at it up close.
24:17 Speaker 04 The smell. I can taste it.
24:20 Speaker 06 Oh my God.
24:22 Speaker 07 I'm gonna need everyone to grow up a little bit. I'm gonna need everyone to grow up.
24:28 Speaker 06 Dinah, we just keep saying, play Ms. Hannigan, play Ms. Hannigan.
24:30 Speaker 04 No, I want to play the orphan.
24:32 Speaker 05 Dinah is Annie and I will fight for her.
24:33 Speaker 07 Mrs. Hannigan.
24:34 Speaker 05 Dinah is Annie.
24:36 Speaker 07 Do not.
24:37 Speaker 04 Dinah is so Andy, Annie-coded.
24:39 Speaker 05 Dinah is Andy.
24:42 Speaker 06 Has anyone done Andy instead of Annie?
24:44 Speaker 04 Hashtag Dinah is Andy.
24:48 Speaker 04 Hashtag Dinah is Andy.
24:52 Speaker 05 But look, and I'm gonna fight for you again. I'm gonna fight for you.
24:56 Speaker 06 I checked Dinah's Andy.
24:57 Speaker 05 We need to clean that Chicken Alfredo off that Annie wig.
25:00 Speaker 04 Yes.
25:03 Speaker 07 No, no, no, no, no, no, hold on.
25:06 Speaker 04 Diner, don't fight for this diner.
25:07 Speaker 07 Hold on.
25:09 Speaker 06 Dinah, please don't fight for it.
25:11 Speaker 07 That is my lucky wig.
25:13 Speaker 05 The wig stays, you guys. The wig stays.
25:16 Speaker 07 The wig stays.
25:16 Speaker 05 T-shirt, the wig stays.
25:18 Speaker 07 If I wash it, I won't remember how to sing the notes. So far, every time I've sang, I've hit the notes and there's Ben Alfredo in the hair.
25:29 Speaker 05 And you know what it is?
25:30 Speaker 07 Remove one variable. I don't know what's gonna happen.
25:33 Speaker 05 It's tradition.
25:35 Speaker 07 Tradition.
25:37 Speaker 05 Tradition.
25:38 Speaker 04 Gosh, I wish that was a boy roll.
25:40 Speaker 07 Tradition.
25:40 Speaker 05 It is.
25:41 Speaker 04 It's a roll. Girl roll.
25:43 Speaker 05 I will say, what my favorite things, with the ensemble bell, when the ensemble bell goes off and we all have to sing a song no matter what we're doing.
25:51 Speaker 04 Yes.
25:51 Speaker 06 But I'll tell you, it's tricky because every single table needs to tip at the same time to get the ensemble bell to go.
25:56 Speaker 07 They all, we all have to close out your entire section at once, and if someone hasn't ordered yet, you need to very, very quickly close them out.
26:05 Speaker 05 Yes. I wanna shout out, I wanna shout out the 11-year-old super fans of our diner who run around to the other tables and go, tip at the same time. It's like trying to organize the wave at a baseball game. It's honestly incredible.
26:15 Speaker 04 Those kids are plugging in.
26:17 Speaker 05 Yeah, they're amazing.
26:18 Speaker 06 Yeah. But okay, so it usually starts at 6 o'clock. We, we do like a little bit of Annie, we're talking the night shift, and then, then we get into solo, solo time, right?
26:25 Speaker 04 Yes, usually what happens is, it's, this is the big misunderstanding. It's not always singing. There's breaks for you to eat. They're short, but there's breaks for you to eat.
26:35 Speaker 06 And we have to run the restaurant, right?
26:37 Speaker 04 We have to do our job.
26:39 Speaker 07 Our managers barely do anything.
26:40 Speaker 04 But God, when we get that mic, it's game over for you hoes.
26:44 Speaker 05 Well, let's talk about the mic. We have a lot of names for the mic. We call him the big one. We call him, we call him King, King Loudy. We have nicknames for him because it's this very ornate, beautiful, it has LED lights in it, and it shoots bubbles out of the bottom every time you sing.
26:59 Speaker 06 In my generation, we called him the Nixon. He is, uh, the mic is someone who you don't want to mess with because he has the power to break or break your night. Thank you, Dinah.
27:12 Speaker 04 Dinah, that's literally genius. That's what I'm trying to start. Hashtag Dinah is Andy.
27:20 Speaker 06 Dinah is Andy.
27:22 Speaker 05 Stop saying you're trying to start that like you've ever been doing that.
27:25 Speaker 04 Guys, like I'm trying to get that off the ground.
27:26 Speaker 06 And we have to talk about, if we're talking about the mic, then we also have to talk about what goes with that mic, the bread, the song, but also, sorry, we're not like connecting right now.
27:36 Speaker 05 You guys should sing a song together.
27:38 Speaker 06 Is our accompanimentist, who's there every single night, and he's been there.
27:41 Speaker 05 Floyd!
27:43 Speaker 06 Floyd!
27:45 Speaker 04 Floyd is bad news sometimes.
27:47 Speaker 06 Floyd, though, has a smile where you're like, you can grab me there.
27:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, yes. He's hilarious.
27:54 Speaker 05 One time Floyd invited me to a party after a shift, and I went through his house and nobody else was there.
28:00 Speaker 04 Dude, Floyd is so funny like that.
28:04 Speaker 06 Yes. Floyd's funny, right? And I think like, it's funny that when sometimes he'll, he's the one that like, believe it or not, he's the one that'll be like, I don't want to play that song anymore. Like, you used to sing such a good, I believe, from Book of Mormon. And when Floyd was just like, I don't want to do that anymore.
28:21 Speaker 04 Right.
28:22 Speaker 06 Like, I remember it. And he was, and we were like, great, Floyd, copy that. Yes, Jeff. Understood.
28:26 Speaker 00 Understood.
28:27 Speaker 07 Floyd is so loving.
28:28 Speaker 05 He's so loving.
28:29 Speaker 07 He is, he has so much care for us, like, I just know, I feel so comforted.
28:34 Speaker 04 Are you crying?
28:35 Speaker 07 I'm not crying, I'm just, he just reminds me of my time in the military.
28:40 Speaker 04 Oh my gosh.
28:41 Speaker 00 Oh.
28:42 Speaker 04 Your tours.
28:42 Speaker 00 Did you know of Floyd?
28:43 Speaker 06 Your national tour.
28:44 Speaker 07 My national tour.
28:45 Speaker 04 International, remember that.
28:47 Speaker 07 I love Floyd, and I can tell that he loves me too, it's the way he grabs me when I walk by.
28:54 Speaker 05 Yeah.
28:54 Speaker 07 And it's the way he embraces me when I'm near the piano, really tight, for long, it's like, it's not like, just like a, it's not a quick hug.
29:02 Speaker 04 Yeah.
29:02 Speaker 07 It's like, it's so different, he's so different to me, he's mean to me.
29:05 Speaker 05 I've never, oh.
29:06 Speaker 07 He's like, ugh, get away, yeah.
29:09 Speaker 06 Well, that's cause, I mean.
29:10 Speaker 07 He gets offended every time I sing Here's to the Ladies Who Lunch. I sing that song from Company.
29:17 Speaker 05 Yeah.
29:17 Speaker 06 Yeah, that's from Company.
29:18 Speaker 07 And he just goes, he's kinda like this the whole time.
29:21 Speaker 05 You know what's funny about that, I've seen it, that, you sing that song to stop people from eating, like, it's too literal, like, they, they wanna be a distraction from what they're eating.
29:28 Speaker 07 Yes.
29:29 Speaker 05 And like, oh, I don't wanna hear a song about lunch while I'm eating.
29:30 Speaker 07 Here's to the ladies who lunch.
29:36 Speaker 06 Oh, I love that.
29:37 Speaker 07 I say I always do that.
29:38 Speaker 06 I think Floyd doesn't like it, cause you're, you're one of those performers that only wants to stand on top of the piano.
29:42 Speaker 07 Yes, I wanna be on the piano, giving it my all.
29:45 Speaker 00 And you wanna be on the keys, too.
29:47 Speaker 07 Yes, and I wanna be on the keys, giving it my feet.
29:51 Speaker 06 We use all parts of the restaurant, if you've never come to Wish Upon a Burger, like, sometimes.
29:55 Speaker 07 We are hanging from the balcony.
29:56 Speaker 05 The balcony.
29:57 Speaker 06 Literally, like, you, girlie, you are always singing from, um, the, the kitchen.
30:02 Speaker 05 Yes, I sing I've Grown Accustomed to Her Smile from My Fair Lady from the Kitchen.
30:08 Speaker 05 So if you start hearing me going, I've grown accustomed to her face, or whatever that song is.
30:14 Speaker 00 I remember the first time you tried to do that, the sh-
30:17 Speaker 06 Jeff was so angry.
30:19 Speaker 07 He was so mad.
30:20 Speaker 06 You didn't clear it.
30:21 Speaker 07 He got so, but that's like why we're punk rock.
30:22 Speaker 05 And also, honestly, Rodrigo needs to come to terms with where he works, okay? He works at a singing diner.
30:28 Speaker 07 The earplugs are a little much, Rodrigo.
30:31 Speaker 05 A little much, Rodrigo.
30:32 Speaker 06 My favorite is I love, I heard you loud and clear, Rodrigo.
30:36 Speaker 07 Now, we have to talk, we have to talk about my signature song.
30:40 Speaker 05 Oh.
30:41 Speaker 07 Feed me Seymour.
30:42 Speaker 05 Yes.
30:42 Speaker 07 I sit at one of the tables, I pretend to be at one of the tables.
30:46 Speaker 06 And I love the tables as reserved and no one knows why.
30:49 Speaker 07 And I'm just sitting there and I'm like, I have a fork and knife and I'm like, Feed me. Feed me.
30:57 Speaker 05 Well, and here's what's crazy, watching Tristan do it, you have to go, there's so many videos of this on TikTok. He sings the song.
31:03 Speaker 07 Mm-hmm.
31:03 Speaker 05 And then someone will shove food in your mouth and you never miss a note.
31:07 Speaker 07 I don't stop singing.
31:08 Speaker 05 It's crazy.
31:09 Speaker 06 It's like literally crazy.
31:09 Speaker 07 You put it in your cheek.
31:11 Speaker 05 Oh!
31:13 Speaker 07 It's a secret. A little, a little secret.
31:15 Speaker 06 That's how you do it. Honestly, okay, then if we're talking about our favorite times, I love going in where the hostess stand is, where all the people are waiting for tables and doing, God, I hope I get it. I hope I get it. How many people are they seating?
31:31 Speaker 07 How many boys, how many moms?
31:33 Speaker 06 How many boys, how many moms? Boys, how many moms?
31:35 Speaker 05 But that came from, there was a three-month window where Punch Drunk was in charge of our, of our diner. And they're really known for Sleep No More immersive stuff. So we had some really cool, interesting immersive stuff.
31:45 Speaker 06 Diana, when you did The Wizard and I from the hostess stand. Oh, yes.
31:49 Speaker 07 That was amazing.
31:49 Speaker 06 I mean, that was like, first of all, never heard it in that key. Crazy. No, it's a key that no one's ever done it in before. Yes, that's it. A musical note no one's ever done before.
32:02 Speaker 07 Come on, give us a little taste of it. You can't set up that and not give us a little taste.
32:06 Speaker 06 It's the Wizard and I. The Wizard and I.
32:10 Speaker 07 She changed the time signature too. And the song. It's a really, really unique version.
32:14 Speaker 06 It's in 3-3. And the song is kind of different.
32:16 Speaker 07 And the melody's also different. Gosh, this reminds me of my place so much.
32:19 Speaker 06 I love when we immerse, I love when, when, when we put, when we put people on the, you know, the catering trays, the, The trays that hold not just drinks, but all of the plates. And we put them on them and then they do define gravity on the trays.
32:32 Speaker 07 Oh my god, that's so fun.
32:33 Speaker 06 And we always, we know when we call for hands, it means we need a lot of hands to lift a lady up there.
32:39 Speaker 05 Yeah.
32:39 Speaker 06 Hands. Speaking of, we should talk about.
32:42 Speaker 04 Whoa, we lost you for a second there.
32:44 Speaker 06 Hands. Hands.
32:46 Speaker 04 So I actually had something I wanted to bring up.
32:51 Speaker 04 I just wanted to say genuinely.
32:54 Speaker 06 You're not leaving.
32:54 Speaker 04 Because I'm not leaving.
32:56 Speaker 07 Sam.
32:57 Speaker 04 You guys are not leaving.
32:58 Speaker 06 Don't, don't.
32:59 Speaker 04 I'm not leaving.
33:00 Speaker 06 Don't do it.
33:01 Speaker 04 I'm not. It's only for a day or two. It's only for a day or two.
33:06 Speaker 07 What is it?
33:07 Speaker 04 I am the new face of Peloton underwear.
33:11 Speaker 05 What?
33:12 Speaker 04 Yes.
33:12 Speaker 06 And it's only for a day or two.
33:14 Speaker 04 It's only for a day or two.
33:15 Speaker 05 Doing it for a day?
33:16 Speaker 04 You're a spokesperson for a day? Yes, I'm a spokesperson for a day.
33:20 Speaker 05 I'm really proud.
33:20 Speaker 04 It's a non-union photo shoot.
33:22 Speaker 06 Peloton has clothes?
33:24 Speaker 04 Yes, and so I put on the underwear and it says Peloton underwear and I'm kind of spreading my cheeks. And it says, and it's gonna, underwear's gonna say.
33:34 Speaker 06 Why are you spreading your cheeks?
33:35 Speaker 04 To show the full size. To show the range, to the range. To show the rage of the underwear. Yeah, and you say, imagine these on your bike seat.
33:44 Speaker 06 What?
33:45 Speaker 04 That's what you say.
33:47 Speaker 06 That's what we say.
33:48 Speaker 04 So wait, so are you the owner of the bike seat? No, no, no, no. It's like, the idea is like, it's like, it's like a photo, right? But the idea is like, people are gonna be looking and going like, dang, I'm always so uncomfortable on my bike seat, on my Peloton. And you see this and you go, dang, imagine you on your bike seat.
34:05 Speaker 06 It's weird that they're centering the bike seat and not your own butt. Like, it feels like, imagine knees on your butt.
34:10 Speaker 05 Did you check where the email came from? Was it a Gmail? Was it a corporate email?
34:16 Speaker 04 It was a .net email. It was peloton.eu.mongolia.net.
34:23 Speaker 07 Oh wow, a European and Asian too.
34:28 Speaker 06 I'm so glad Mongolia finally. Finally got in the European Union.
34:33 Speaker 04 It's been, they've been talking about it for a long time.
34:36 Speaker 07 That is big, Sam.
34:38 Speaker 06 But is this your way of asking us to cover your shift? Because you know on Tuesdays I have book club.
34:42 Speaker 04 Well, this is, and I didn't want to bring it up because it's hard for me to talk about.
34:45 Speaker 06 But stop burying the lead, just say it.
34:48 Speaker 04 What? And I can say, I can say no, I can turn it down, but will somebody cover my shift? On Tuesday night?
34:53 Speaker 07 Sam, this is ridiculous.
34:54 Speaker 04 It's fine, it's fine.
34:55 Speaker 06 Bring up the calendars.
34:56 Speaker 05 Oh, here's the thing, you know the deal. If I cover your shift, you have to do harmonies on my song. You have to do harmonies on it.
35:02 Speaker 04 They're so hard, you ask for so many rehearsals to get it right.
35:05 Speaker 05 Well, I'm sorry, we need 12 rehearsals.
35:08 Speaker 06 I can cover your shift from 4 to 4:30. And then at 4:30, I'm doing a dance class that's based on Yu-Gi-Oh.
35:16 Speaker 07 I can't do Tuesday. Jeremy Jordan is teaching a masterclass.
35:19 Speaker 04 Are you going?
35:20 Speaker 07 Yes.
35:21 Speaker 06 The whole day?
35:21 Speaker 07 The whole day, it's a 12-hour masterclass.
35:23 Speaker 04 And what's it about?
35:24 Speaker 06 Is it in person?
35:24 Speaker 07 It's on, no, it's on Zoom, but I have to be there for all 12 hours.
35:28 Speaker 04 Oh, it's the masterclass.
35:29 Speaker 07 Camera on.
35:29 Speaker 04 Masterclass.
35:31 Speaker 05 You've scheduled you're watching the masterclass.
35:33 Speaker 06 You are watching Jeremy Jordan's masterclass.
35:36 Speaker 07 Yes, I scheduled I have to watch him, 12 hours, it's a long class.
35:39 Speaker 04 Okay, okay.
35:39 Speaker 07 If I don't get it done Tuesday, I won't get it done.
35:42 Speaker 06 Dinah, what are you doing Tuesday? I have to go to the doctor. Okay, we can't fuck with that. I have to go to the doctor. She needs to go to the doctor. I have to go to the doctor.
35:52 Speaker 05 It's immovable.
35:53 Speaker 06 No, but I think I can wait. Dinah, Dinah, wait, wait, wait. There's something that's been happening with my arms that's different. Dinah, can we see your elbows? Can we see your elbows for a second? Yeah, yeah, so there's something, there's something I've been noticing like a twitch, and I don't know if maybe you can see anything.
36:07 Speaker 07 Just roll up your sleeves.
36:08 Speaker 05 Oh! What the hell?
36:11 Speaker 06 It looks like Pete Borgin, young.
36:13 Speaker 07 That's your bone!
36:14 Speaker 06 What, what are you talking about? What are you talking about?
36:18 Speaker 07 It looks like a Christmas tree covered in potato leek soup.
36:20 Speaker 06 This is, okay, well, well, Jesus Christ, okay, well, I'm, I'm going to the doctor.
36:27 Speaker 04 You know what, I'm just gonna say no. I'm just gonna say no, because honestly, like, not every opportunity, like, I'm waiting for that big one. I'm waiting for to get funding for my musical. Bigger than Peloton?
36:38 Speaker 05 Wait, wait, wait, I'm free.
36:40 Speaker 04 I think we're good.
36:41 Speaker 05 I'm free.
36:42 Speaker 06 Sing harmonies on his song.
36:43 Speaker 05 I have to be. From two to four, I'm sitting in Grand Central Terminal to see if Sherri Renee Scott is with her husband. But other than that.
36:50 Speaker 04 Well, I remember you're actually going to the Stranger Things new musical.
36:56 Speaker 05 I am. I'm going to Stranger Things, the first shadow, the first music note.
37:01 Speaker 06 That's literally amazing.
37:03 Speaker 05 They're making a musical out of the prequel. I'm so excited, and yeah, I'm gonna be there.
37:07 Speaker 04 That's great.
37:08 Speaker 05 Rumor has it.
37:09 Speaker 04 No.
37:10 Speaker 06 Shut up.
37:10 Speaker 05 Jamie Campbell-Bauer.
37:11 Speaker 04 No.
37:12 Speaker 06 Is.
37:12 Speaker 05 Is coming to it.
37:14 Speaker 04 No.
37:15 Speaker 05 And he might be bringing his au pair.
37:19 Speaker 04 Wow.
37:20 Speaker 05 Oh, he still has an au pair.
37:21 Speaker 06 See, kid?
37:23 Speaker 04 He's like thirty, how does, what are you doing?
37:25 Speaker 05 The au pair is for him. There's a rumor that Jamie Campbell-Bauer is a nine-month-old baby.
37:30 Speaker 04 He's such a good actor if he is.
37:33 Speaker 06 Who told you that?
37:35 Speaker 05 I read it on the dark web.
37:37 Speaker 04 That's why his skin is so smooth. Oh my god, Reddit?
37:40 Speaker 05 Yeah.
37:41 Speaker 06 Reddit, the dark web.
37:42 Speaker 04 Reddit, Reddit, r slash Broadway News.
37:46 Speaker 06 Okay, I'm glad you're bringing this up, because maybe we can do a little bit of a trade, because I wanted to see if someone could take my shift at our Ham for Ham show.
37:53 Speaker 04 What did you book?
37:53 Speaker 06 Where we pass out ham sandwiches on the street and sing.
37:55 Speaker 05 Sing Hamilton, yeah.
37:57 Speaker 06 Yeah, who sings Hamilton, Ham for Ham. It's all sing Hamilton if you get a sandwich. I actually wanted to go see my friend is doing a, my friend is doing a read-through of a new musical that's supposed to be a play in New Hampshire.
38:11 Speaker 04 What? How do they get funding? How did that happen?
38:15 Speaker 05 I live in New Hampshire.
38:16 Speaker 06 Yeah, maybe I can, like, we could link up.
38:17 Speaker 05 Yeah, you could stay at my place.
38:19 Speaker 06 It's just like a two-hour reading, but...
38:21 Speaker 05 You're more than welcome to stay at my place.
38:23 Speaker 06 Thank you.
38:24 Speaker 04 You have an extra bedroom?
38:26 Speaker 05 No.
38:27 Speaker 04 Oh.
38:28 Speaker 06 Oh. Great. Well, I, oh.
38:33 Speaker 04 Because this has been so wonderful. We're not done.
38:38 Speaker 06 Dinah, we're done.
38:39 Speaker 04 Dinah, we're not done. This has been so wonderful.
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40:22 Speaker 04 Dinah, Dinah, Dinah, we're not done. We're not done?
40:25 Speaker 06 Dinah, Sam. All I meant to say is I think like what people don't realize. Yeah, we can switch.
40:30 Speaker 04 Well, this is what we're trying to say is like, it's hard to juggle both things at once.
40:34 Speaker 06 The same time, literally.
40:35 Speaker 04 Because I love this job. Yeah. I love it. It's so fun. I love all my best friends in the literal world taking on this big-ass apple together. But also, we need to make sure that we're not tied to this place so we can do bigger things, you know?
40:53 Speaker 06 It's about like making sure the work we're doing is tip-top shape. But also, we can leave it any second.
41:00 Speaker 07 But it's also like, we have to look at the good parts of this job too. Like, we're like, kind of famous, in a way.
41:08 Speaker 04 That's so true.
41:09 Speaker 07 Like, shows come and go, but like, this restaurant has been here for what, like, 30 years?
41:12 Speaker 06 Honestly, this has been longing, been longer running show than some of Broadway's shows.
41:17 Speaker 07 Literally. Most, like, most.
41:20 Speaker 00 We are an institution. This is a very important place for very important art, and I'm glad that everyone here sees that.
41:28 Speaker 04 Gosh, Dinah is so Andy right now.
41:30 Speaker 07 You're being Andy.
41:31 Speaker 05 It's not gonna work. No, don't let that.
41:33 Speaker 00 I have to be honest.
41:34 Speaker 04 Andy as hell.
41:35 Speaker 00 I have to be honest, I don't know what it means.
41:37 Speaker 05 And it doesn't mean anything, is what's crazy about it.
41:39 Speaker 00 I have a limited amount of capacity that I can, that I can, for new information.
41:45 Speaker 07 Sure.
41:46 Speaker 00 Do I have to know this?
41:47 Speaker 04 No, you're camp for that. You're camp for that.
41:51 Speaker 00 I'm camp for that.
41:51 Speaker 04 You're literally camp for that.
41:52 Speaker 00 I know what that means. Then I feel good.
41:55 Speaker 05 Good.
41:56 Speaker 07 Good, Dinah.
41:57 Speaker 05 I want to ask, what is a dream number you guys all want to do if everything goes your way? I want you to describe the performance. I want to hear what you would do, how you would come out, what would happen, and even what the audience would react to.
42:11 Speaker 06 Visionary, visionary moment.
42:13 Speaker 07 Alright, alright, alright.
42:14 Speaker 06 I'm always hearing this at family meal.
42:16 Speaker 07 This is my pitch.
42:17 Speaker 06 No, I'm saying I always hear your vision.
42:19 Speaker 05 I'm so sick of this food. I can't do family meal again.
42:22 Speaker 07 Come on, lentil soup.
42:24 Speaker 06 It's the best thing ever, lentil soup in a Celsius? I love it.
42:27 Speaker 07 They always just, and you know that family meal is just whatever they have laying around that's about to go bad, and it's always lentil soup. It's always been that. Okay, you guys, you're forgetting about the lentil soup quesadillas.
42:38 Speaker 04 Yes.
42:39 Speaker 06 See, and that's the visionary. And every family meal, we get to hear, like, stuff come off of Tegan's brain that I'm like, what?
42:44 Speaker 07 That's fusion, baby. That's fusion.
42:46 Speaker 04 Okay, what's your dream?
42:48 Speaker 07 Okay, I really want to do, be our guest. Like, we're already serving food, you guys. How are we not?
42:53 Speaker 06 But they've tried this, remember? They've tried this, and it's like a food safety thing, because we can't use, we can't use like, plates and stuff like, as choreo and as a, like, a serving thing.
43:03 Speaker 07 Right, but it is though. Like, a plate is a plate. We tried this 1986. The, uh, health inspector came in.
43:10 Speaker 06 During the chorus, and they saw that these plates were used for singing. And they said, "That's not safe."
43:16 Speaker 05 Health inspectors don't understand the concept of props. It's so hard to teach them. This is a prop for a show.
43:23 Speaker 07 Yes.
43:23 Speaker 05 This is a dish to be eaten from.
43:25 Speaker 07 Right.
43:26 Speaker 05 There's a difference.
43:27 Speaker 07 This chicken is plastic because it's a propa. And we're not going to serve this. Like, I don't eat plastic. Literally. Like, I know the difference between real chicken and plastic chicken.
43:40 Speaker 06 But how would you cast it, if you don't mind me asking?
43:42 Speaker 07 Okay, obviously, Belle.
43:45 Speaker 06 Belle.
43:47 Speaker 07 Lumiere. Yes.
43:48 Speaker 06 Yes.
43:49 Speaker 07 Perfect.
43:50 Speaker 04 I think Dinah's Babette. I think Dinah is... Hashtag Dinah is Babette.
43:55 Speaker 06 As long as she doesn't have to get on her knees, I'm in. No, I can get on my knees. You don't have to.
43:59 Speaker 07 There's the high kicks with the other feathers and be our guest.
44:01 Speaker 06 Yeah, I could do that.
44:02 Speaker 07 Don't cast me already!
44:05 Speaker 07 Right, you can be... Would you be Cogsworth?
44:09 Speaker 07 I would do Cogsworth. Uh, yeah, sure. Um, Cogsworth. Thank you!
44:12 Speaker 04 Yeah. I don't, I just want to be the writer.
44:15 Speaker 07 What?
44:16 Speaker 04 The idea, I'll be like, pretending like I'm typing the number.
44:19 Speaker 05 Doesn't work.
44:20 Speaker 06 You're the author of Beauty and the Beast as it's happening?
44:23 Speaker 04 Yes.
44:23 Speaker 06 Alan Menken?
44:25 Speaker 04 Like that.
44:26 Speaker 07 What? So it's like a...
44:27 Speaker 04 Oh, just cast me in whatever. I guess, I guess I can't make requests.
44:30 Speaker 06 I know who Floyd's playing.
44:32 Speaker 04 The Beast.
44:33 Speaker 07 Oh my god, Floyd is so bad to me and rude.
44:38 Speaker 06 Okay, Drew Numbers, what about you? What about you?
44:40 Speaker 05 Don't rain on my parfait. And...
44:42 Speaker 06 Parfait?
44:43 Speaker 07 Parfait.
44:44 Speaker 06 Don't rain on my parfait.
44:45 Speaker 05 This is something we would only do at close, and honestly, for, or open, sorry. Because in the morning, everyone's coming in, ordering a parfait and a coffee. And sometimes I'm the only one. I'm the only one that opens up. And I have to play piano by myself, and also, you know, I just imagine, you know, just belting for one scraggly old guy, sitting in the corner, just munching down on his parfait. Just going crazy and just having this moment where the song ends when a whole group of kids comes in.
45:15 Speaker 07 No.
45:16 Speaker 05 And they don't know that I just had this amazing moment, but this old man, he does.
45:20 Speaker 04 Because that's what you gotta ask yourself, like, is your big number a showstopper? Or is it a tearjerker?
45:25 Speaker 06 Yeah.
45:26 Speaker 04 Like that?
45:26 Speaker 06 Or is it somewhere in the middle? Like mine.
45:28 Speaker 04 What is yours?
45:29 Speaker 06 Cell Block Mango Margarita.
45:31 Speaker 04 Whoa, that's good.
45:33 Speaker 06 Cell Block Mango Margarita.
45:35 Speaker 04 Yeah.
45:35 Speaker 06 And call me a team player, but just like be our guest, just like Tegan, I want to do something with everybody.
45:42 Speaker 04 Oh, my God.
45:42 Speaker 06 I want us all, and I think we could like workshop it a little bit if you want. I want us all to do monologues. Like, under music while serving the food. Because sometimes it's like a safety issue. We can't sing and like do table. We have to like either have a singer or the waiter. You can't do both at the same time. I think with Cell Block Mango Margarita, you could be like, and there I was. And then bringing the food to the customer.
46:03 Speaker 04 Literally.
46:04 Speaker 06 Going, order this. And like, I think we could do more hands-on stuff.
46:07 Speaker 04 That makes sense.
46:08 Speaker 05 I like that idea a lot.
46:09 Speaker 04 I love.
46:10 Speaker 07 Speaking of hands-on. So you know how colorblind casting is a thing?
46:15 Speaker 04 No, what?
46:18 Speaker 07 Alert, alert, emergency alert. There's a Patreon you need to subscribe to.
46:23 Speaker 06 Hold on, pause the episode.
46:27 Speaker 06 Oh, my God. How fun would it be to just hang out with us? Like, maybe at weird times of the day, like 7:00 AM or 11:30 PM?
46:34 Speaker 07 Little peek behind the curtain. This episode was recorded between 9:00 to 5:00. But if you want to see what we're like after hours, you gotta join the Patreon.
46:41 Speaker 06 Well, recap episodes, and then also we'll do weird stuff like bully Jeremy.
46:46 Speaker 07 We bully Jeremy. We make him do 12 weeks of dancing in a row. We made Patrick write an entire screenplay in one day. And we're doing an Oscars draft. So come on by.
46:54 Speaker 06 It's three bucks. See you there.
46:56 Speaker 07 Bye.
47:00 Speaker 07 Okay, it's.
47:01 Speaker 06 Go there, go there.
47:02 Speaker 07 Go there. Okay, it's like colorblind casting. It's like, we don't care what color you are. You can play the role.
47:07 Speaker 05 Oh.
47:07 Speaker 07 So, under those rules, I think.
47:09 Speaker 04 But what if I was like purple?
47:11 Speaker 07 They literally don't care. Purple people are people too.
47:14 Speaker 04 You're so true. And Dinah is Andy.
47:19 Speaker 07 Okay, colorblind casting. I think with this cast, we can do Run Until Blat. B L A T. Bacon, lettuce, avocado, tomato.
47:28 Speaker 04 Yes.
47:28 Speaker 07 But Run Until Blat.
47:30 Speaker 06 The song that seaweed sings in Hairspray?
47:32 Speaker 07 The song that seaweed and all the black people sing in detention. Colorblind. We're colorblind, baby.
47:36 Speaker 06 It's black summer.
47:37 Speaker 04 Reverse colorblind, almost.
47:38 Speaker 07 It's not reverse, it's just colorblind. Color is, color is, color is.
47:41 Speaker 06 Sounds like a bunch of white people singing that song.
47:43 Speaker 04 Yes.
47:43 Speaker 06 And it's about BLTs?
47:45 Speaker 07 Yes, exactly.
47:46 Speaker 04 That is so wonderful.
47:48 Speaker 07 The bacony of the bacon.
47:50 Speaker 05 Yeah, you're changing from berry to...
47:52 Speaker 07 The black of the berry to the bacony of the...
47:54 Speaker 06 The black of the berry. The bacon, the bacon.
47:57 Speaker 04 The bacony, the bacon.
47:59 Speaker 06 The bacony, the bacon. The bacony, the bacon.
48:01 Speaker 05 Really good.
48:02 Speaker 04 That's so good.
48:04 Speaker 05 What would yours be, Mr. Man?
48:05 Speaker 04 Oh, come on. Okay, well, my dream, I guess, is I don't think people really see me as kind of the serious artist that I want to be perceived as sometimes. So I would get up on the piano, spotlight, just me. The restaurant kind of like comes to an awkward, tense pause. Because everybody's a little uncomfortable with me up there in my beautiful, beautiful, blue crown. Grown, gloun, gown.
48:32 Speaker 06 Your blue crown, ground, gloun.
48:33 Speaker 04 My blue crown and my blue gra- gown. I sing "Somewhere That's Green Leaves", and people leave crying.
48:45 Speaker 07 "Somewhere That's Green Leaves"?
48:46 Speaker 04 "Somewhere That's Green Leaves", from Little Shop.
48:49 Speaker 06 Like arugula or something?
48:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, so it's like...
48:51 Speaker 07 Or like a butter head.
48:52 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, like butter, or kale, or... Most leaves are green.
48:58 Speaker 07 Spinach.
48:59 Speaker 04 But not radicchio. Specifically not radicchio.
49:02 Speaker 06 That's amazing.
49:03 Speaker 04 And I go...
49:04 Speaker 05 "Somewhere That's Radicchio."
49:05 Speaker 04 Hashtag specifically not radicchio. Because it's too bitter for me.
49:10 Speaker 06 Dinah's Andy and hashtag radicchio.
49:14 Speaker 05 I'm feeling crazy. I've usually heard it called radicchio.
49:16 Speaker 04 It is radicchio.
49:17 Speaker 06 I'm feeling...
49:18 Speaker 04 I've literally only read it. And I really...
49:21 Speaker 07 "Somewhere That's Radicchio."
49:22 Speaker 04 Well, Italian double C is a cha sound. So you, I think you guys are wrong. Anyway, um, so I'd stand there with my blue crown.
49:31 Speaker 06 No, I love that. I love that.
49:33 Speaker 04 People would...
49:34 Speaker 05 Blue glou gown and your blue crown?
49:35 Speaker 04 Yes.
49:36 Speaker 07 They're matching.
49:37 Speaker 06 When you wear the same color gown and crown, it's called the ground.
49:39 Speaker 04 It's called the ground. I bought it at the store. And anyway, so everybody's just tearing up and crying right when I go like... A house built on a fence.
49:54 Speaker 04 A somewhere just for me.
49:57 Speaker 06 No, I know that song, yeah.
49:58 Speaker 04 A heaven.
50:00 Speaker 06 Totally.
50:01 Speaker 04 Somewhere that's green.
50:07 Speaker 06 That's good.
50:07 Speaker 04 People cry into their spaghetti.
50:10 Speaker 06 Cry in the spaghetti. House built on a fence.
50:12 Speaker 05 House built on a fence.
50:13 Speaker 04 You guys think that, wait, this is, that was embarrassing, sorry.
50:17 Speaker 06 No.
50:17 Speaker 04 No, that was embarrassing.
50:19 Speaker 06 I'm glad you felt safe to do that.
50:21 Speaker 04 Thank you, guys. I love you guys so much, and I'm really excited. I'm really excited to put this play up.
50:26 Speaker 06 Can we talk about when you always bring the bill and you sing "Satisfied" from Hamilton? It's so sassy. It's so sassy.
50:36 Speaker 06 And honestly, we'll get a little secret. If you're Karen at our restaurant, you're kind of annoying. We're gonna have him come sing "Satisfied" when you bring the bill.
50:44 Speaker 05 You remember this, you remember this, for the rest of the rest of your days.
50:47 Speaker 04 You never get to never be satisfied. You start right at the beginning, which is really fun.
50:52 Speaker 05 And I'm always going, they're leaving, and I'm going, I'm the one, how's also, I'm the one, and they're like running out the door.
50:58 Speaker 06 I'm the one who served you the onion rings. I'm the one.
51:01 Speaker 04 I'm sorry, but you are the rapper of the, of the crew. Yes. You are the rapper.
51:05 Speaker 05 I'm the artist, and the coolest, and the weediest, and the pootiest.
51:08 Speaker 06 And the pootiest.
51:09 Speaker 04 Dinah, what is your dream song?
51:11 Speaker 05 The New York City-est.
51:13 Speaker 06 And the city is?
51:14 Speaker 05 Yeah, Dinah.
51:14 Speaker 06 My dream song, well, I heard it, I heard a song the other day. I heard a song the other day, and, you know, sometimes we don't do strictly Broadway. Sometimes it's a song, it's an old jazz standard or something.
51:27 Speaker 04 Yeah, we do that for you.
51:28 Speaker 06 Luck be a lady, anytime. I heard a song the other day that made me cry. It was called "Levitating" by this woman by the name of Dua Lipa.
51:40 Speaker 04 I'm familiar.
51:41 Speaker 06 And it goes a little something like this. I've got your moonlight.
51:48 Speaker 06 My starlight, I need you all night. Come on, dance with me.
51:54 Speaker 04 And this brought you to? I'm levitating.
51:58 Speaker 06 And I want to do that. I want to do that for all the people. For all the people who make me feel like I'm levitating each and every night.
52:09 Speaker 04 Honestly, you can do it. Like, pop is in. Like, think Angelique, Moulin Rouge. Yes, pop is in.
52:17 Speaker 06 Pop is in. That's incredible news.
52:19 Speaker 04 And it made you cry?
52:21 Speaker 06 It made me cry. I've felt things I haven't felt in years. Not since the owner of this restaurant. He and I parted ways, obviously. We don't have to get into my sad love life.
52:35 Speaker 04 No, let's get into it.
52:36 Speaker 05 Let's, you gotta, we'd love to hear about your sad love life.
52:39 Speaker 06 We'd love to.
52:42 Speaker 06 It's very sad. Why is it sad, Dinah? Well, Harry and I were going to renew our vows in the middle of the restaurant. And then he said, let me just go out for a pack of smokes.
52:57 Speaker 04 Oh, it's a stereotypical thing.
53:01 Speaker 06 And he got cobbled by a Times Square Elmo.
53:06 Speaker 04 Cobbled?
53:06 Speaker 05 He made it to a shoe. They put his feet together, they knocked him with hammers?
53:12 Speaker 06 He cobbled.
53:13 Speaker 04 He didn't get clobbered, he got cobbled.
53:16 Speaker 06 They turned my husband into a big shoe. A big shoe that stood in the middle of Times Square. A big shoe.
53:25 Speaker 04 He was never gonna leave you, he got turned into a shoe.
53:28 Speaker 06 No, he had a terrible filthy smoking habit. I didn't doubt that part of it. He got way outside and turned into a shoe. But that is New York City. That's what this city is all about.
53:40 Speaker 04 I love your story about New York in the 80s.
53:42 Speaker 06 Oh, New York in the 80s.
53:44 Speaker 07 The shoe crisis ripped through New York City in the 80s.
53:47 Speaker 05 You can describe it and then say you miss it, and I go, I don't think I would.
53:50 Speaker 04 No.
53:51 Speaker 05 It's fun to hear.
53:52 Speaker 06 Oh, I do miss the 80s. Ladies.
53:54 Speaker 04 Yes. Those cobblers were out.
53:57 Speaker 06 Hey.
53:58 Speaker 04 Amazing, Diana.
53:58 Speaker 06 Teagan, do you have a song that you want that's not an ensemble based song?
54:02 Speaker 04 Like a solo song? Come on, Teagan, it's about to spread your wings. Okay.
54:06 Speaker 06 What's your levitating?
54:07 Speaker 04 Okay, so have you guys seen Sweeney Todd? Have I seen it? I live, breathe and eat it.
54:13 Speaker 06 So what's that mean? The musical about?
54:16 Speaker 04 I love it.
54:17 Speaker 06 Okay.
54:18 Speaker 04 These are my fries. See how they glisten?
54:25 Speaker 07 And then instead of scissors, it's fries that I have.
54:27 Speaker 06 I love that.
54:28 Speaker 04 See, I have another idea for that musical.
54:30 Speaker 07 Edward Fryhand, so it's like a double, it's both Johnny Depp.
54:34 Speaker 04 Yes, and I, so I had an idea for another Sweeney Todd song.
54:37 Speaker 07 Okay.
54:38 Speaker 04 Hot potato. Like Pretty Women. Pretty hot. Hot potato.
54:43 Speaker 06 Hot potato.
54:44 Speaker 04 Not baked potato.
54:47 Speaker 06 Hot potato.
54:48 Speaker 04 You're throwing. Hot potato.
54:49 Speaker 06 It's kind of a game.
54:50 Speaker 04 We can play with it. Does it round at ends on their table? It ends on their table split open with sour cream. We can play with it. Hot potato, moving slowly, oh hop. Everybody must have a Sweeney Todd button that they're working on.
55:03 Speaker 07 Of course, of course. I do.
55:05 Speaker 04 What is it? I feel you linguine. I feel you linguine. There you are, you're a pasta. A shape that is a little smaller. Actually, that is a little smaller.
55:26 Speaker 06 Oh, I would've said it on this one. Oh, Diana. Suddenly, split pea.
55:33 Speaker 04 Suddenly, split pea.
55:37 Speaker 07 Standing beside me.
55:40 Speaker 04 You don't need no crackers.
55:44 Speaker 06 You don't need no fork.
55:47 Speaker 04 Wow. Whoa. Whoa.
55:48 Speaker 06 Whoa. Fork, fork.
55:51 Speaker 04 Yes. Let's get a little too wet for you two.
55:54 Speaker 06 Fork.
55:56 Speaker 07 Suddenly, split pea.
55:59 Speaker 04 Bum, bum, bum. Sorry, I had to jump in there.
56:03 Speaker 06 Guys, hold on. You have to get.
56:05 Speaker 07 Give this a shot. You have to give this a shot.
56:09 Speaker 06 Have you ever dated someone in the restaurant?
56:10 Speaker 07 Of course.
56:11 Speaker 04 She was married to a man who gave her a shoe. It gets in the way. She was married to the owner of the restaurant and he gave her a shoe.
56:19 Speaker 06 Wait, I must have missed that.
56:20 Speaker 04 She literally just told us that.
56:24 Speaker 07 But it's because, listen to me. Listen to me, listen to me, both of you. Listen to me, both of you, but yes, Harry got cobbled. Harry got cobbled, but listen to me, listen to me, listen to me.
56:32 Speaker 05 Diana is so Andy right now.
56:33 Speaker 07 Listen to me, listen to me.
56:34 Speaker 04 Diana is the most.
56:35 Speaker 07 Listen to me, this is very important. Just because you could get cobbled doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
56:43 Speaker 04 Right.
56:43 Speaker 07 Because what we had before he was a shoe was beautiful. Oh, we were, we were fucking in the walk-in.
56:49 Speaker 06 You should sing it.
56:51 Speaker 05 Fucking in the walk-in?
56:53 Speaker 04 Where are you going?
56:54 Speaker 06 Where are you going?
56:55 Speaker 05 I can't, honestly, Diana, I can't believe she didn't remember that your husband was turning.
57:00 Speaker 04 That was like a 20 minute.
57:01 Speaker 05 She's all.
57:02 Speaker 04 You guys, she's auditioning a lot. She's in her own world. She's like Lily, running her standards.
57:09 Speaker 04 I want your baby. My sugar boo.
57:12 Speaker 07 I'm levitating. My Milky Way. My something, something. Yeah, yeah, I got you. Moonlight. You're my starlight. I need you.
57:28 Speaker 04 Side of fries.
57:29 Speaker 07 Sunlight. Come on, dance with me. I'm levitating.
57:36 Speaker 04 Oh, Diana, she's croaking. Oh, my God.
57:38 Speaker 05 She's croaking.
57:39 Speaker 04 I would, I would touch her, but I feel like I'm gonna break her.
57:42 Speaker 06 Open her chest up, give her CPR.
57:43 Speaker 05 Guys, no, I know.
57:44 Speaker 04 Don't open her chest up, give her CPR.
57:46 Speaker 06 What do we have to do?
57:46 Speaker 04 Sing her alive? Did I lose my spaghetti?
57:51 Speaker 06 Will someone care? Will I eat tomorrow?
58:00 Speaker 04 From this leftover. Oh my god, my bones. I feel, I feel better.
58:12 Speaker 06 Wait, let's look at your knees.
58:13 Speaker 04 Look at my knees.
58:14 Speaker 07 Oh, they're still, oh, the smell. It's like thick in the air. It's waving at me. It's waving at me.
58:23 Speaker 06 Wait, one of your lips has a gun.
58:25 Speaker 04 What's the problem?
58:29 Speaker 04 Oh no.
58:29 Speaker 07 Tell Brittany Peters, I saw her with that guy.
58:32 Speaker 04 No, no. Oh no. We know what we have to do. 525,600 burgers. 525,600 burgers. There's all the cheese. Oh, wow.
58:51 Speaker 04 What the hell?
58:52 Speaker 06 Is that a hair?
58:53 Speaker 04 Prop bullet, cunt.
58:57 Speaker 07 This has been heard, this has been heard, this has been heard. Answer the question on that's why the call show was this. You're for our guest Chance Perdido.
59:06 Speaker 06 Oh my god, Chance Perdido, can they find you?
59:09 Speaker 04 Fat Chance, P-H-A-T-C-H-A-N-S-E. Uh, got some fun stuff coming up.
59:14 Speaker 06 He's writing a musical, we'll link it.
59:16 Speaker 04 Yeah. Live from the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter. Hashtag Dyna is Andy.
59:24 Speaker 06 And hashtag fake bullet cunt. Prop bullet cunt.
59:28 Speaker 04 Bye.
59:30 Speaker 02 Artists on artists on artists on artists is an improvised Hollywood Roundtable podcast created and hosted by Kylie Brakeman, Jeremy Culhane, Angela Giarratana, and Patrick McDonald. It is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Media Podcasts. Executive produced by Matt Apodaca and produced by Alexandra Dennis and Laser Vision Productions. Music by Gabriel Ponton and edited by Conner McCabe. Funnel art by Josh Florrie and logo design by Lucy Tomkiewicz. Special thanks to Samuel Curtis and the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter. The opinions expressed on this podcast do not reflect the opinions of anyone who works on it, not even the performers, because this is an improvised podcast and we don't know what the heck we're talking about.
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