Nobody Wants This

Kristen Bell, Adam Brody, Justine Lupe, and Timothy Simons are actors on the series Nobody Wants This. The cast joins the Armchair Expert for Nobody Wants This Week to discuss Kristen’s first press appearance on TRL, Adam not knowing how to make coffee when he met his wife, and the peanut butter fingerprints that exposed Justine’s engagement-ring discovery. The cast and Dax talk about playing messy singles as married parents, protecting a romantic lead from becoming unforgivable, and Justine accidentally calling cut while kissing Tim. They explain why embarrassment can disguise itself as anger, which domestic habits their spouses will have to accept, and whose job it is to intervene when the in-laws hate your partner. Start your 2 month free trial today: https://youtube.com/premium . Terms Apply. Cancel Anytime. Check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds: https://www.allstate.com/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 0:05Dax Shepard?

  This is very exciting. It's a very exciting weekend. It's a very exciting week.

• 0:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 0:09Dax Shepard?

  And it's a very exciting week on the show.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:12Dax Shepard?

  It's Nobody Wants This week.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Yes. Can't put a fine enough point. We're making a whole week out of it.

• 0:17Dax Shepard?

  That's right. So today, we have the great pleasure of hosting Kristen Bell, Adam Brody, Justine Lupe, Timothy Simons.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Fantastic group. This was so fun.

• 0:28Dax Shepard?

  What a crew.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  I know.

• 0:29Dax Shepard?

  What a crew. And then this Wednesday.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:32Dax Shepard?

  We're gonna have Aaron and Sarah Foster on.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  Fantastic.

• 0:36Dax Shepard?

  The producer slash creator, The Sisters.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  The Sisters.

• 0:39Dax Shepard?

  And your parasocial best friends.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Guys, buckle up.

• 0:43Dax Shepard?

  What a week we have in store. Nobody Wants This, season three is out now on Netflix. It's a fucking banger.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Such a good season.

• 0:50Dax Shepard?

  Watch it. Please enjoy the cast of Nobody Wants This. This episode is presented by YouTube Premium. YouTube was already great, but Premium supercharges it. If you like YouTube, you'll love Premium. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com/premium. Trial eligibility varies. Terms apply. Cancel anytime. Now let's get into today's episode. We get support from Instagram teen accounts. So we talk a lot on this show about how the world is different now than when we were growing up. And one of the biggest differences is obviously social media. And I think a lot of people wonder, okay, what's actually being done to make it safer for teenagers?

• 1:30Speaker 01

  Which is a fair question.

• 1:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So Instagram has got something called teen accounts and they come with automatic protections built in by default. So anyone between 13 and 17 is automatically placed into this experience. They get age appropriate content settings, contact limits, so that by default, only people they're already connected to can message them. And time management tools, daily time limit reminders, and also sleep mode that mutes notifications from 10:00 PM to 7:00 AM.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  Sleep mode is genius.

• 1:59Dax Shepard?

  Right? And here's the thing, for anyone under 16, a parent has to give permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. The guardrails are on and Instagram keeps building new safety features to create age appropriate experiences for teens.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  I am really glad Instagram's helping to give parents peace of mind with teen accounts.

• 2:18Dax Shepard?

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  You gotta try it. You'll love it.

• 2:46Dax Shepard?

  It looks way too dry to eat in public.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  You have no idea how moist it is on the inside.

• 2:51Dax Shepard?

  I don't, I don't.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  I'm gonna talk about this.

• 2:53Dax Shepard?

  But it looks dry and sandy.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  Okay, you're not.

• 2:56Dax Shepard?

  Like a coffee cake.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  You don't know about things.

• 2:58Dax Shepard?

  So this is a first, guys. We've never done four people.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  It was really perfect timing.

• 3:11Dax Shepard?

  She brought this to pass.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, guys, I brought this as a special treat.

• 3:15Dax Shepard?

  I said it looks so fucking dry to eat during an interview.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  It's from Zabar's. It traveled all the way from New York City today.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  I'm really excited to see yours.

• 3:24Dax Shepard?

  Can we?

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Can we eat it? Yes.

• 3:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, great, okay.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  Rob, we might need a knife not right this second, but we could just tear it.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Or we could tear it. It's so good.

• 3:33Dax Shepard?

  I do wanna see people put this in their mouth.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  You have no idea how moist it is.

• 3:36Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  Oh, it's so good.

• 3:38Dax Shepard?

  I don't. I'm completely clueless on the moisture.

• 3:40Speaker 02

  There's a lot of moisture talk with this bread.

• 3:43Dax Shepard?

  The room plays bigger on television. The room definitely plays bigger.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  It's tiny in here.

• 3:50Dax Shepard?

  We're feeling cramped. Yeah. This is what happened too on Mom's Car. You arrived and you were like, well, we can't possibly be recording in that Chevy Bull. Yes, and Aaron had to sit in the backseat. And literally, we got a van this season because of you. Really? Yeah. So now we have a van with lots of legroom. Adam, I want to immediately applaud you because you were the mention of the situation. Because someone had to not sit on the couch. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you quickly volunteered to do that. Well, I thought maybe I could be hiding.

• 4:19Dax Shepard?

  It's so cozy in here. I think you can't go wrong. Oh, thank you. Some of the guests don't like how tiny it is. Yeah, they feel misled by the video representation of it. Certain guests.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  We actually do. We have a lot of people mention how small the room is. They're like, oh, you know, it's like really small place, kind of like the size of this room.

• 4:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's a reference point for a lot of people. They're cramped.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:39Dax Shepard?

  Do any of you guys have a memory of like the most startlingly small place that you've been into that you've seen on TV? And you were there and you were like, oh, my goodness. Good question. That is a good question. You guys are probably too young, but did you ever do TRL back in the day? Yes, but I don't remember it being small. You remember it being small? Oh, my God, I got out there and I was like, oh, it's like a corner of an office floor. Like, it's so tiny.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  You think there's two, 300 people in the audience when you're watching it? And there's about 16 bodies in that room.

• 5:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Oh, I don't remember that. And they're making up the energy of 300 people.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  There was also people outside on the street for TRL.

• 5:16Dax Shepard?

  Way more people on the street.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  God, I loved TRL.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  That might have been a recycled shot.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  I probably watched both of you on TRL.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Were you on TRL too? You were probably, right? Yeah.

• 5:24Dax Shepard?

  What did you go for?

• 5:25Speaker 03

  That was my first thing. That was my first ever piece of press.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 5:29Dax Shepard?

  Was TRL?

• 5:29Speaker 01

  I just had a memory. That was your first piece of press as well?

• 5:33Dax Shepard?

  Tell me. You guys could just talk about this at home if you wanted to, but I do wanna hear it.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  We want you guys to hear it.

• 5:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we are unfortunately. Kristen Bell, tell me.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  The end of my first season of, no, the beginning of my second season of Veronica Mars. So the first season was airing. And I was shooting in San Diego and got a call and they were like, they want you to fly to New York. They're gonna rework the schedule so you can do TRL. And that was like the first time I had ever heard of the situation where like, you gotta stop working and go do press to promote the products. Because you are the product.

• 6:05Dax Shepard?

  Big league stuff.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. I'm vaguely remembering my outfit and it was.

• 6:09Dax Shepard?

  You hadn't refined your style yet?

• 6:11Speaker 03

  I didn't know what I was doing.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  We're gonna pull it up for the fact check. And you had Veronica hair, like the short one with the spikies?

• 6:17Speaker 03

  The flip, the spikies, yeah.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  Cute. Did Carson Daly interview you?

• 6:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:22Dax Shepard?

  She doesn't know the answer to that. She just has no idea. Knowing her, she has no clue. Yeah.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  He did.

• 6:29Dax Shepard?

  Absolutely. Were there any artists there that you got to meet?

• 6:32Speaker 03

  Well, I don't remember.

• 6:33Dax Shepard?

  No. There was for me, Timothy. What was there? Jewel and her then husband were also guests.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Big deal.

• 6:40Dax Shepard?

  And I tell the story as, to anyone who listens, so there's a photo booth at TRL. They tell you to go in and you get a couple of photos taken and they put that up. But what they did not realize, Jewel and her husband, was there's a live video feed inside there as well. And we were waiting to go out and they had gone in and someone came out of the control booth. He was licking her breasts inside of the photo booth. Yes. And people were running out of the thing going, oh, my God, he's like, he's sucking her boob inside. They don't know. And they're like debating whether to tell them there's a live feed in there or not. Well, they don't want to interrupt a nice moment. What's promising to be coitus, I think.

• 7:17Speaker 02

  Or they're just trying to make a funny photo in the photo booth, right?

• 7:21Dax Shepard?

  I think they were being naughty. They were newly a couple and they were in that phase where no matter where they.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  They do it everywhere.

• 7:27Dax Shepard?

  They wanted to be everywhere. As my guest, I didn't ask him about it.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  I wonder if they made it as a couple.

• 7:31Dax Shepard?

  That's known. And I wanted. I'm gonna guess no. I wanna say, I remember seeing the headline. I said, oh, it's a bummer that didn't work out. They knew how to have a good time in public. I once went to a Halloween party at a friend's house and they had like a photo booth set up. And they actually caught people having affairs the next day because, you know, you get the photo print out, but like the digital ones are saved to the thing and you get an entire file.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  Who would? You're not stupid enough.

• 7:59Dax Shepard?

  Pictures of like friends, like hooking up. Couples.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  Pissing in their photos.

• 8:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  That is really.

• 8:07Dax Shepard?

  I wanna, I wanna now add a photo booth to our Halloween party to see if we catch. Not because I wanna bust anyone. I just wanna know what's cooking. Yeah, you just.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  You just want the gossip.

• 8:17Dax Shepard?

  You can cut a peephole. We know, no. Yeah, maybe just have a peephole somewhere in the house.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Okay, they did not make it, unfortunately.

• 8:25Dax Shepard?

  How long did they make it?

• 8:25Speaker 01

  But 2008 to 2014, not a.

• 8:28Dax Shepard?

  That's a good one. Solid. That's solid. I think this is probably a unique situation where everyone here is married and has children. For a cast where everyone's playing like four people who still haven't figured out relationships?

• 8:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:42Dax Shepard?

  I think that's a little ironic.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Not everyone in this room, but our guests.

• 8:45Dax Shepard?

  The people on the show are playing like bumbling singles.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:50Dax Shepard?

  And ironically, they're all married up with kids. Rock solid relationship. Yeah, everyone's feeling rock solid. We've never had a problem ever. We've never gotten in a fight. We've never raised our voices. We've been lockstep about everything after 18 years. Have you thought about writing a book? Huh? On relationships? I've thought about it, but it would be pretty boring. It's just you get married and everything goes perfectly the entire time. End of story.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Is it really 18 years?

• 9:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we've been married for 18 years.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  That's amazing.

• 9:18Dax Shepard?

  Which is insane. That's such a long time. I also don't feel like I've been, I'm sure we all share this of like, no matter how old we get, I still kind of identify as like a 25 year old.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:30Dax Shepard?

  And so it's wild to think that I'm like, I haven't even been alive that long.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:34Dax Shepard?

  I've been married 90% of my life. 90% of my life.

• 9:39Dax Shepard?

  I feel like I just, I love you, but I've been married to you for like 90% of my life. I need to know what else is going on out there.

• 9:47Speaker 01

  That's part of the show.

• 9:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Yeah. Do you think the showrunners and writers would have normal ideas that a different cast would have no pushback on? Like, are you ever having scenes where you're like, well, no, a relationship wouldn't work this way or couldn't work this way? Because you are all in, like, just one example, this season, your ex-boyfriend moves in next door, right?

• 10:10Speaker 01

  He's hot, by the way.

• 10:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  That actor is very attractive.

• 10:14Dax Shepard?

  I was there that day, in fact, where they were smooching.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  My husband was there the day that Travis hits on Morgan. So I guess you guys both witnessed the magic of Travis.

• 10:23Dax Shepard?

  He texts the spouses. He's cool like that, that actor. He's like, hey, just heads up.

• 10:29Speaker 02

  I am very hot and I will be in proximity to your wife.

• 10:33Dax Shepard?

  I don't wanna spook you. I'm a 10. I didn't pick it. I just got lucky. But you wanna make your ex super jealous. That's a priority of yours in this season. And I guess for me, that would be a bit of a red flag if I moved in with somebody like in first order of business was like, we gotta make my ex jealous. Do you ever like reading stuff and going like?

• 10:57Speaker 02

  You're not very rabbinical, though.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  No, not, I didn't push back on that at all because I knew it was there for the comedy. And to be honest, I thought it would be incredibly funny to see Joanne, me, myself and I try.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  To bring it up a notch for a neighbor. I could just see how funny that would be because she starts exercising in the driveway the month he moves in.

• 11:22Dax Shepard?

  Warming up kind of for an exercise that never comes.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 11:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 11:26Speaker 03

  Correct. No, I just saw the funny in it. I didn't really see it as much of reality. But I feel like you two, especially you, the first season.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was literally, I was about to say, in the first season, there was some indecision about what was gonna happen between Sasha and Morgan. And I kind of just felt like, whatever happens here, it is indicative of the state these characters are in. Like, if Morgan is going to like make a bold move and hit on a man who has a child and is married, that says something.

• 11:56Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure. We can infer a couple.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  It teaches you something about your character.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I think we talked about it a little bit when we were here. Like, what track are we on? And can we understand that a little bit more clearly? I think it made for really interesting dynamic, this kind of gray area between us and like trying to figure out like what that was between two people who are not available to each other, but there's obviously some magnetism.

• 12:21Dax Shepard?

  Your lack of clarity on it could actually be useful.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:25Dax Shepard?

  To those scenes.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  I mean, I think there's that like Dustin Hoffman or whatever. Remember the Meryl Streep thing where like someone threw a glass at her and they were like, we wanted to like surprise you. And she was like, I am an actress.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  I hated that. I actually hate that.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  I feel like there was just a part of me where I was like, are we gonna make out in the next episode? Or are we friends? Or like, what is this? And it wasn't quite clear. It made for really interesting like stuff, but I also was like, it would say, I mean, in terms of speaking to like, how would this play out in real life? Ooh, that is something. It's not nothing to kiss someone who has a child.

• 13:00Dax Shepard?

  That's right.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  And like, so we have to like, know that that's what we're doing.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  If we're doing that.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:05Dax Shepard?

  To that point of like, being a person that's in a long-term relationship and the experience of that, you really have to tread lightly on that. If I was like an unmarried 25-year-old playing somebody who was married and it was like, oh, we're just making out, it's not a big deal. And it's like, oh, no, I don't know how to explain to you. This is a huge fucking deal.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  You know the stakes.

• 13:27Dax Shepard?

  You know the stakes of it more. And so then you have to be much more careful. It can't be willy-nilly, oh, it just happens. You know what I mean? It has to be very thoughtful and set up.

• 13:36Speaker 04

  And it hasn't come in to our story, but even when I look at your story, it's actually being a parent that really like, you know, where I, just watching TV in general, I'm like, what the fuck? You know? In a way that like, being in a relationship or a long-term one and watching people, I don't, I'm not constantly bringing my own stuff into it as much, but watching parenting or even pet ownership from afar is always, always, I see a lot of stuff I don't agree with.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  A lot of judgment.

• 14:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Adam can't watch CIA shows because if the agent has a pet, he's like, I mean, is he boarding him for three months while he's in there? I don't know what's happening.

• 14:16Speaker 04

  It's just that the dogs are at the door when you answer the door. They don't come like a scene later or in the next room. That's all. That's just a simple dog. The dogs are at the fucking door and you have to deal with that.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  That's a fair note.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  You're witnessing what a stickler he is for reality right now.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  I think it could be funny, too.

• 14:34Dax Shepard?

  One thing I did love about that scene of KB exercising in the driveway, like that in and of itself is funny. And then also the moment that she walks in and Adam's like, wait, you're exercising? You've literally never done this. Like, I like that they found another later to that.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  He said, did you go for a run? And I said, ew, no, why would I do that?

• 14:55Speaker 01

  But also because you guys have zero jealousy. I feel like Kristen and Dax, but a lot of people do. And they wouldn't be like, that's a red flag or I wouldn't like that or whatever. Like, that's like normal for a lot of relationships, I think. Not for you. You don't like it.

• 15:10Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think that'd be even harder on a jealous person. Like, I as a kind of non-

• 15:14Speaker 01

  They'd watch and be like, oh, I see what's happening here. I get why she wants to, oh, I see what you're saying.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  I saw, I saw both sides of it with that one because A, I think it's really funny.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  It is. It's very funny.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  And Kristen does it so well. The speech is like, I think all of us were dying.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  I do understand the showing face part of it where it's like when someone's wronged you, wanting to show up as the best version of yourself and be like, mistake, big mistake.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  But I also do feel like the way that she goes to it so hard, I'd be like, why do we care? Why are we concerned about him?

• 15:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. This feels very unresolved.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  It's kind of weird that you're so worried about this guy.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  Now I feel kind of crazy because I didn't do any of that analysis on the script when I read it. I was just like, this can be funny. Great. We're gonna shoot it tomorrow. Like, I had no thought process admittedly behind that, other than I think it's gonna be funny. But I think I also have accepted that Joanne is working through her immaturity daily and can talk about that. She's like, I don't know how to be in a relationship. I've never done this before. I want to be better. I want to be an adult, but I don't really know how to. So like, for me, it was just like, oh, of course she's still doing that.

• 16:23Dax Shepard?

  Trying to get the neighbor to regret.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:25Dax Shepard?

  Not paying better attention to you.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Well, he was mean.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  He was terrible.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  He was a dick.

• 16:30Speaker 03

  He was the worst.

• 16:31Dax Shepard?

  Kind of unredeeming, other than again, he is very attractive.

• 16:34Speaker 04

  Fucking, yeah.

• 16:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he's a solid dime piece. There's no two ways about it.

• 16:40Dax Shepard?

  It'd be funny if he started dating people in real life and they were like, no, I want you to treat me like, you're being too nuts.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 16:48Dax Shepard?

  Like their fantasy is he's a dick to them.

• 16:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:51Speaker 03

  In real life, he dates Halsey.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  That's a good, that's a good pairing.

• 16:55Dax Shepard?

  And very appropriate for his good looks.

• 16:58Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they're not wasting, he's not wasting them.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  No, they're both gorge.

• 17:02Dax Shepard?

  Are looks something you'll bring up to a guy about himself?

• 17:06Speaker 03

  Good question.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  I mean, I guess I wouldn't not, but it's not, you know?

• 17:10Speaker 02

  It's not the first thing you're mentioning.

• 17:11Speaker 04

  It's not, yeah, it's not my icebreaker.

• 17:13Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 17:14Speaker 04

  I mean, if they're having a good day.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  Ridiculous.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  That is what he does. Every time we have someone come in here, that's how it begins.

• 17:21Dax Shepard?

  Well, there's two ways you could, you could evaluate this. Mine's probably the lesser of the two, but one could just be, I would love to be told I'm handsome.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  You are.

• 17:33Dax Shepard?

  Thank you. I should have just asked. I don't know, I've been waiting for so long. So then I project onto them like, oh, they would love to hear that they're so handsome.

• 17:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:42Dax Shepard?

  But when you're really handsome, you don't really need to hear it. So it's kind of a catch 22.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  Tell it to the uglies.

• 17:47Dax Shepard?

  Well, I do do a bit of that, too. I try to find something really nice on someone and flag it.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  You'll pull out a feature. That's how I know you're flirting with me a lot. Like, if we go to a dinner or something, there's a couple things Dax does where he doesn't have to look up and wink at me, but I know that he's just being the best boy. We'll be at dinner and like, he'll say to the waiter or waitress, he'll go, wow, you have incredible eyelashes, gorgeous eyes. Great, great job. And then-

• 18:15Dax Shepard?

  This is a triggering thing.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  That's flirting with her.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  But that's flirting with me because, because he just made someone else feel good. Because he's gonna have zero interaction with it. Let's say it is a girl. He's gonna have zero interaction with this girl for the rest of his life. The chances of him ever having another conversation with her are so microscopic. But to me, to know that my partner actively smiles at people and gives them compliments.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  But you just have such an angel soul. No one, it's actually like ironic that comes up in this season.

• 18:48Speaker 04

  Yes, Justine's ex said a waitress had thin lips or, no, not thin, nice lips.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Nice lips. We had to find something specific because I think at one point it was her hair was nice. And I was like, no, it has to be something like borderlining.

• 19:02Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Like, a little provocative.

• 19:05Dax Shepard?

  Well, you have, you have great calves.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  She is saying that she was unhinged.

• 19:08Dax Shepard?

  Man, are you a serial killer?

• 19:10Speaker 04

  Well, it had to be something like that.

• 19:11Dax Shepard?

  Also innocent, though.

• 19:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  Totally. It had to be something that shows that she was unhinged and that it's a confessional of some sort. She's saying like, I'm not proud of the person that I was in that relationship. But it also couldn't be something so innocent that it's like, oh, you, that, you know?

• 19:27Dax Shepard?

  It's funny, you nailed it because I heard that and you're making fun of a guy who does that. And I'm like, I do that, right? But then I was like, I don't do lips.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  Lips is-

• 19:36Dax Shepard?

  That's crazy.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, we had to find something specific and not.

• 19:39Dax Shepard?

  You have a beautiful tongue.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  No, but you've never done anything that's felt even borderline. Like, you'll point out if someone has great eyebrows or great cheekbones or great, you know?

• 19:49Dax Shepard?

  Amen, yeah.

• 19:51Speaker 03

  It is, but our friend Heather, when you first met Heather, you were like, god dang, girl.

• 19:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the eyebrows were a point.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  You have the eyebrows of the center. She has incredible, Heather Taylor has dynamic eyebrows.

• 20:02Dax Shepard?

  Everyone saw it. I was the only one that said it.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  She does have good eyebrows.

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Exactly. That's why it makes me fluttery inside. That's why it gives me butterflies. Because everyone saw it. He's the only one that said it. Maybe she hadn't had a compliment today.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, made her feel good.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  And I'm not the guy that's pouring compliments on people, making people feel good.

• 20:19Dax Shepard?

  I do have bad news about that waitress.

• 20:21Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 20:22Dax Shepard?

  If we could pull up the pictures from the Halloween party on this.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  That'd be so awesome.

• 20:33Dax Shepard?

  Okay, who do you guys think is least like their character? I want to see if there's any consensus. Do you all feel naturally like you're the least?

• 20:44Speaker 04

  I'm almost gonna say you, but I could make an argument for anyone.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  I think you're most like your character.

• 20:49Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 20:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  I think you are probably the least. I think I'm not that much like Morgan. You-

• 21:00Speaker 04

  I feel, I don't want to point the finger. I think I might be, at least from my view, maybe the closest to mine. Because Adam, I know you're not that perfect.

• 21:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. But he's pretty close.

• 21:12Speaker 04

  I mean, he's pretty close.

• 21:13Speaker 03

  I mean, Noah's not perfect. Noah's not perfect.

• 21:16Speaker 04

  And you're way more put together.

• 21:18Speaker 03

  You're way more emotionally evolved. She's by far the furthest from Joanne.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  I think you're pretty far from Morgan.

• 21:25Speaker 04

  I would throw Justine in there because there is a chaos inherent in Justine that I think overlaps with Morgan, but it is not the same. Like, Justine herself is too emotionally intelligent to, I think, I think there's a huge gap there. But there is like a really wonderful chaos to Justine that I think overlaps.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  Justine's chaos is like playfulness.

• 21:47Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 21:47Speaker 03

  At all times. And Morgan's is like genuinely wreckage.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:51Speaker 03

  And there's no wreckage around Justine.

• 21:54Dax Shepard?

  The thing I really honed in on this season of- Your character was, you're a baby. And I think you're smartly playing it as a baby. You're a total baby, Justine.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 22:07Dax Shepard?

  It's like, even like if Kristen touches her, it's like,

• 22:09Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, she's a little sister.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  My god, that's my favorite.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  It's a great runner.

• 22:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I was explaining it. We were watching it with my two childhood friends from Detroit who are in town. And I'm trying to explain to them, oh my god, this bit that nobody even knows is happening. You must be aware of it at all times that anytime Kristen touches Justine, she screams. Or overreacts to anything that's happening. Or when you're sad, you just won't get out of bed. And the way you're talking to your mom, like, mom, like, you're just a child.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's a little bit of an unbridled regression to her. And especially in familial moments. I do like that a different thing comes out of her this season. Like, there's a different level of accountability, a different level of standing her ground and self-realization this season.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  I think it's Morgan's season.

• 22:57Speaker 02

  That's really nice. It is some real estate to play with for sure. And it was really, really fun to go there and have it drop into a different thing for her than the girl that we see like throughout the other seasons.

• 23:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, dating her therapist and shit.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  Actually find something of substance with someone and fight for it, you know? I have a lot of fun with the idea of, because I know it. I go home and there's parts of me that I'm like, oh, this is like 15 year old me showing up to this situation with my family. Or I regress. Or the thing that we were talking about earlier with like your oldest, oldest friends, where you drop into like a childlike thing.

• 23:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 23:36Speaker 02

  And so I just tried to find some of that with the family and with Joanne and the parents. What are the parts of her that she maybe doesn't show everyone, but come out because they're just wired into her disposition to like go there?

• 23:51Dax Shepard?

  Often when you're on the show, and I think for a long time, or at least I and the people I've worked with, I've noticed too, is you get protective of your character in a, not a good way. It's the episode where you're gonna cheat and you're just like, and I don't want, I don't want my character to cheat. I don't want everyone to hear it or whatever. I weirdly think, Adam, you're in the opposite situation on this show in that you are like the voice of reason at all times and calm and rabinal. Are you on this show, Simon, who's going like, let me fuck everything up? Do you go another way when your character is so?

• 24:23Speaker 04

  I enjoyed last season, second season, I got to make a lot more mistakes and I enjoyed that a lot for the comedic element of it. We're human and we're portraying dimensional characters and flawed and we're working through our flaws and all those things. But, you know, I'm always conscious of like, we do want these characters to end up together. We want to be happy that they're together. And so I'm protective of that. And if anything goes too astray where I'm like, I don't think I like this guy. To answer your question, I don't think he's been so perfect that I haven't felt occasionally like this is straying into something that's almost unforgivable to me, you know what I mean? And so like, is there any way to soften this so I can still be on his side as an audience and still want this to happen versus like, just leave him?

• 25:04Dax Shepard?

  So you're still having it?

• 25:05Speaker 04

  I'm still, I still feel like, no, I try to protect his integrity.

• 25:10Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'll air our dirty laundry. Like, what I would want from Kristen one time is I go like, well, this guy just shoved this old lady down. And I want her to one time go like, yeah, what a fucking piece of shit this guy is. But instead she'll go like, I think that guy might have stage four cancer. I think he lost his footing. I think he just was trying to brace himself on the old lady and that's what happened. She's so positive and rabinal. Sometimes I want her to be a piece of shit. Yeah, in real life. Sometimes I want her to just be like, you're right, that guy's a fucking asshole. I hope he finds his way into a manhole cover, you know?

• 25:46Speaker 03

  But she's also not naive. I don't want it to sound like that.

• 25:50Dax Shepard?

  No, I don't think it's that. It's just she has a very compassionate, forgiving view of the world, which I think your character too. Of every time I would come to your character, you're gonna kind of put it through the filter of this deep wisdom. And sometimes you just want your partner to be like a piece of shit with you and be judgmental of all the complaints to have.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, I can be a piece of shit with you.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  Sometimes we do talk shit.

• 26:14Dax Shepard?

  Once in a while. Parenting, you might get us going a little bit when you're observing other people. I think that's the thing I got your easiest to be judgmental.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Well, I'll tell you this, about strangers, I will not do it.

• 26:27Dax Shepard?

  I draw a hard line.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  Because I do not know enough about that person. I would have to be so arrogant to assume that my one second view of whatever this person did walking by me on the street is the absolute correct conclusion about the type of person they are.

• 26:44Dax Shepard?

  You're right. You're 100% right.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Insane to me because people are dimensional and Monday I may be in a great mood and Tuesday I may be a little moody. And Wednesday I may be like, I need a friend. I'm that person all three of those days. I just have, like, we can't speak to wanting to play dimensional people and then not want them, I think, to like make slight mistakes or have forgiveness. But to strangers, I just don't like the judgment. But sometimes when I know someone, I'm okay with judging them a little bit. Because I'm like, oh, that person keeps making this crazy decision.

• 27:13Dax Shepard?

  I'm telling you of the things that I have to complain about, that is a tiny complaint that you're too positive. But I project on you when you're with him and he's got all the perfect answers. And it's like, sometimes I'm gonna be like, no, I want to be a piece of shit right now.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, you kind of are Noah in real life, I would say. Like, you go to you and you will be the one that's like, kind of the voice of reason and talking through. We are gonna have Erin and Sarah on on Wednesday. And what I do think is very sweet is you can kind of see, and maybe I'm wrong about this, we'll find out, but the way Erin looks at Simon, you see written out in this show between the two of you, there's so much, like, she clearly just like adores him so much and sees him through this lens of idealized kind of, he feels, yeah, no, totally. Like a real friendship. It comes through there, which I think is like lovely.

• 28:04Speaker 02

  No, I feel that too. I like, feel like that's kind of the engine of the show is how in love she is with Simon. Every time she talks about him, it's just relentlessly. My friend Rihanna is like this with her husband, the one that you just met, Dax. I've never in the entire time that they have been dating or since they started dating, she's, I'm not even joking, never said one bad word about him.

• 28:27Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  And I know they have their stuff, but she just knows. You actually are like this with Leighton too. I mean, we're not close enough that you would ever bitch to me about Leighton. But I do feel like there's like a similar feeling of like reverence and respect and like love that you can just feel how highly they think of their partners. And I think that that is what makes this show like work actually is, is Erin's love for Simon.

• 28:53Dax Shepard?

  That's the fuel.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 28:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Okay, so this season is about moving in together. You guys, there we go.

• 29:00Speaker 04

  Oh, you're cracking into the.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  Tear it with your hands. Get it. Nope, Zabar.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  I love that it's in like a contraption that's just like built to be loud.

• 29:08Dax Shepard?

  It's got made of different symbols and three different qualities of loud.

• 29:14Speaker 04

  I'll do a fast.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Adam is never shy to get into snacks. Never.

• 29:18Dax Shepard?

  He'll have a bear claw. Oh my god.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  He has a bear claw every morning.

• 29:23Dax Shepard?

  How do you stay so thin?

• 29:24Speaker 04

  Only because they're on set. I don't like search them out in my own life even though I love them. They're on set, they're really good. They cut them into, you know, thirds. So it's like, I'm not necessarily.

• 29:34Dax Shepard?

  You're not throwing down a whole bear claw.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  But a donut, a bear claw, anything carnival-esque, Adam is like.

• 29:41Dax Shepard?

  Funnel cake, churro.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  Oh, I mean, I think about like last meal a lot, you know, and I'm like, hot churro, whatever. Like, I don't need like a steak freeze.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Your dessert. Oh, interesting.

• 29:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, or like, is anything better than bread? Like, just like a hot bread bun, you know?

• 29:58Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if the movie is sold out before you show up. You drove across town, found parking, got in line, and now the person behind the counter is giving you that look, sold out. Guess you're watching whatever starts in 10 minutes. Yeah, checking first is an excellent idea. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We get support from our presenting sponsor, YouTube Premium. Now, you already know I'm a big YouTube person.

• 30:42Dax Shepard?

  It's incredible on its own, but Premium makes the whole experience feel enhanced. Like, you don't realize how much better it can get until you try it. The biggest game changer for me, background play. I love long, two-hour deep dives. You name it, motorcycles, travel, cars.

• 31:00Speaker 03

  Cooking shows for me.

• 31:02Dax Shepard?

  Cooking. Listen, with Premium, you don't have to keep the screen open. So I can lock my phone, slide it into my pocket, and listen to a podcast while I'm folding laundry or working out. It's also completely ad-free, meaning when a narrator is building up to the climax of an insane story, there's zero interruption. And for travel, offline download saves the day. I love this one. Relying on airplane wifi can be a gamble, so I just download my favorite videos before takeoff. And with smart downloads, Premium will automatically download new videos from channels you actually follow without having to lift a finger. I'm covered if I forget to download a video I want to watch or even if there's no service. And the home run for me is that YouTube Premium remembers exactly where I left off and lets me continue watching on another device from right where I stopped.

• 31:48Dax Shepard?

  So I can start a video on my TV while brushing my teeth and pick it right back up on my phone on my morning walk. So yeah, YouTube was already great, but Premium supercharges it. If you like YouTube, you'll love Premium. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com/premium. Trial eligibility varies. Terms apply. Cancel anytime. We get support from Superhuman. I'm someone who wants to do big, meaningful work, but the small stuff eats up my day before I even get to it. The endless emails, docs, scheduling, follow-ups that pile up. By the time all that's cleared, there's no energy left for the ambitious stuff. Most AI tools promise to fix that, but they require opening a new tab, re-explaining everything from scratch every single time.

• 32:31Dax Shepard?

  A week later, it's just another thing collecting dust in the browser. Superhuman, from the makers of Grammarly, is different. It's already embedded inside the tools people are using, email, docs, browser. It's not waiting to be found, it's already there, working alongside, clearing what's in the way, so the focus stays on what's actually worth doing. A thought partner that's already up to speed, no catching it up. It knows the style, the workflows, and it backs people up without getting in the way. At your service, not after your job. That's the difference. Give it a try for yourself. Start streamlining your workflows with Superhuman. Try today at superhuman.com.

• 33:10Dax Shepard?

  We get support from AG1. Fall is that time when your body and mind are getting ready for the winter. You're settling in, bracing for the cold. Your body's already running a deficit from the shorter days and broken sleep patterns. You don't want a nutrient deficit stacked on top of that, too.

• 33:27Speaker 01

  That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop cold water every morning before anything else.

• 33:40Dax Shepard?

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• 33:54Speaker 01

  That's the part people miss. It's not a one day fix. It's what happens when you stay consistent.

• 33:58Dax Shepard?

  It's an easy, everyday thing. I've added it to my morning routine and I'm going to tell you, I actually love the taste of it. It's like Pavlovian. I drink it and I know I'm going to get that little vitamin buzz.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Well, that's also the thing. When you do it first thing in the morning, you already feel kind of self-esteem because you're like, I already did something good for myself.

• 34:15Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Go to drinkag1.com/dax and for a limited time, get a free immunity bundle, including a bottle of omega three fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3 K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/dax. And after checkout, be sure to let them know that Armchair Experts sent you.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Wait a minute, guys. I have an incredible game that I think Anna maybe invented.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  It's like fuck, marry, kill.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  Bread, pasta.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  Bread, pasta, rice.

• 34:57Speaker 02

  I think this was me.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  This was you?

• 34:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:00Speaker 01

  Oh, maybe it's. Okay, well, what are yours?

• 35:03Speaker 02

  Well, actually, mine was, for some reason, potato was in there. And mine. And I would fuck potato. Or no, I'd marry potato. I'd fuck pasta. I'd kill rice.

• 35:13Dax Shepard?

  Merry potato?

• 35:14Speaker 02

  It's an amazing food. It's so inexpensive. It's so versatile. You can do a boiled potato. You can do a twice baked potato. You can do mashed potato. You can do french fry. You can do.

• 35:24Speaker 01

  Baked.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  A baked potato. You can do roasted potato. You can do scalloped potato. It's like, there's so much potential for all different kinds of things. Like, there's never a time I'm not in the mood for a potato.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  But what are you going to do if we put rice in? I mean, uh, bread.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Bread, I think it would go marry pasta, fuck bread, kill rice. I like rice, but I just have to go.

• 35:44Speaker 04

  I love sushi. I'm going to kill rice. I'm going to fuck pasta. I'm going to marry bread.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 35:48Speaker 05

  I think I'm marrying rice.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  Good for you, Tim. Classy.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Barry.

• 35:53Speaker 05

  I'm killing pasta and I'm going to fuck bread.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 35:59Speaker 05

  Here's the thing about. I, I don't, well, here's one thing I will say.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  Pizza either.

• 36:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, like, I'm not like, don't like pizza.

• 36:06Speaker 02

  I know.

• 36:07Speaker 05

  I like pizza, but I like the moment it happens and then I hate every moment after.

• 36:12Speaker 04

  Oh, sure, sure. It doesn't do well.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  I asked him what his favorite recommendations for food were in our neighborhood and he was like, just no pizza options. There's no pizza. And then I asked about pizza and you're like, I don't eat pizza.

• 36:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm never like, hey, let's go out for pizza. Pizza is the thing where it's like, oh, this isn't abs. And I love it and I think it's incredible. But I'm never like, you know what we should absolutely do? Go to a restaurant for pizza.

• 36:35Speaker 04

  Same, of course.

• 36:36Speaker 05

  You know what I mean?

• 36:37Speaker 04

  You order it for the kid. You got kids over.

• 36:40Speaker 05

  It's meant to be. It's meant to be eaten like standing on a sidewalk or over a.

• 36:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure, sure.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Eaten in like community with friends at a party where you're talking.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  Isn't it good?

• 36:53Speaker 02

  Or like eating while watching a movie. It's such a happy. I love pizza.

• 36:58Speaker 05

  Can I jump in on this?

• 36:59Speaker 02

  I don't eat pizza at a restaurant.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Really? What about like Mozart or something?

• 37:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. What about that kind of fancy pie?

• 37:06Speaker 02

  At Mozart? No, at Mozart.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  I know, I also get pasta. I agree with you.

• 37:10Dax Shepard?

  You are pointing something out, though, that didn't occur to me when I was a kid. But there was always something a bit strange about going to Pizza Hut. I certainly liked it, but there was some unsettling aspect. Yes. And I'm now realizing that you would be waiting.

• 37:23Speaker 04

  Times I've never been there.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  It's a big deal to have your family take you to Pizza Hut. That was like, oh, you graduated fifth grade. Let's go to Pizza Hut.

• 37:33Dax Shepard?

  That's right. And sitting at a table waiting for a pizza derive was a little bit kinky. There was something weird about it.

• 37:39Speaker 05

  For a long period of time, there was that great onion. It wasn't a full article, but it was just like, insurance company clearly used to be a Pizza Hut.

• 37:49Speaker 05

  The Pizza Hut would close and another business would move in.

• 37:52Dax Shepard?

  It's a rough rebrand.

• 37:55Speaker 02

  I would do it. Don't do it.

• 37:56Dax Shepard?

  Well, you really went at it.

• 37:58Speaker 02

  You clawed it.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  It wasn't a great.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  It was hard.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  You know, and it was hard to.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  I should have really provided a knife. Really, really good, though.

• 38:05Speaker 05

  Just going back, I find that idea of character protection interesting.

• 38:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, please.

• 38:10Speaker 05

  I think that's like a really important thing. Like, it seems like it's a challenging balance to find of protecting character. Like, definitely in the case of first season. If I'm married with a kid, the character protection of being like, okay, there's gotta be a real reason if that happens. We have to see that. That can't just be like willy nilly done.

• 38:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  It's the same thing with strangers. You're saying you're protecting your character because you're like, oh, well, he never would do that. There's probably a reason for it. You're being protective of your characters. That's a feeling I have about strangers.

• 38:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:42Speaker 05

  But then there's also that thing of like, it feels like you're always trying to find the balance of protecting it, but then also being open enough to find out something new about the character, being open to the stuff that the writers bring in, being open to that so that it can expand. I don't know. It's a delicate thing.

• 39:01Dax Shepard?

  Well, there's an inherent tension between the showrunners and directors and the actors, which is the actors are supposed to make each moment real as possible. And then the creators are supposed to be arcing out some incredibly riveting story with stakes and plot. And so there's a built in tension. And I think at the beginning, that's why I said when you're on a show longer, I think it gets harder. Cause when you first get there and they give you your character. You got a kid and you're going to cheat on your wife. You're like, okay, great. You just told me who it is.

• 39:30Speaker 05

  That's the character.

• 39:31Dax Shepard?

  I think it's more precarious when you've been playing someone for two and a half years or three years and you think you know them, you're making decisions based on what you understand about them. And then they present something with you that's like, well, this isn't that person.

• 39:41Speaker 05

  You know, that actually came up.

• 39:43Speaker 02

  It came up this season.

• 39:44Speaker 05

  It came up this season. I remember in the first arc pitch, when we like go into the room and they kind of tell you broadly what's going to happen.

• 39:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:51Speaker 05

  The moment when we first heard it after New York was that

• 39:57Speaker 05

  Morgan was going to say something on the show and I was just going to leave. And I remember feeling when I heard that, and maybe this is an example of character protection, being like, it feels like Sasha is learning how to be more mature. That's sort of like learned incompetence thing of Jackie is gonna, Esther is going to be taking care of everything for me. And I'm just sort of like learned incompetence and he has to grow up a little bit and he slowly has. And I remember bringing it up to them. It felt a little bit too childish for him to like hear this and then go to the airport and leave her there.

• 40:35Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. There was like a whole thing about how Morgan was going to be like, I'm done with it. I don't want to do it. That was whatever. And then avoid it and be mean to him. And we had a conversation where we were like, actually, I think Morgan has been changed by this experience.

• 40:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:50Speaker 02

  And I think that Morgan should be the one carrying the flame a little bit. Originally, it was going to be like, okay, well, whatever. I said, uh, what was it?

• 40:58Speaker 05

  It was like, can you validate my parking?

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like, it was basically her to be like, okay, well, I didn't mean it anyway.

• 41:04Speaker 05

  Right.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  And we had a conversation where I was like, I actually think she has to like say, I'm okay. Like, I hear you and that's not what I want, but I'm not taking it back. Cause there was a moment where they were like, well, I said it first and I actually didn't want to be with you. And I was like, I think that there's been a change here. And it is tricky. Cause in that moment, it felt like I was like advocating for her character development because of what they had written and what that would mean to her, I imagine. And then there's other times where you're like, the things that I like butt up against, I'm like, okay, there shouldn't be protection in terms of like vanity getting in the way. Like you as an actor are like scared to look mean or scared to look bitchy. You're scared to look stupid. And there were some times where that even like, there was a point where Morgan yells at Sasha.

• 41:48Speaker 02

  She's like, she's like, Sasha, come on, get in here. And I was like, eh, it feels a little harsh. And they were like, well, just think about like who she is and what she's going through. And I was like, oh, right. They're right. Like this is me wanting to like not be a bitch as Morgan, but Morgan actually in this circumstance would be a little bitch. And luckily, I feel like these writers, especially like this season where we had like a little bit more of a point of view about these things. They were like so receptive and like collaborative and it went well. But it is a tricky balance trying to figure out when it's like your head, your own thing. Getting in the way of like what's right for the actual show. And when it's like helpful and, and moving it in a good direction.

• 42:31Speaker 04

  On the flip side, I really enjoy, it's amazing to be in the third season of something and the writers know you so well and you know them and you're seeing the stuff that's written so for you and what you've done together. And there's also that familiarity that it's so different than when you're embarking on something.

• 42:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Again, I think it's like the right tension that needs to exist. I think. I won't name the showrunner, but there are some that's like plot, everything else be damned. You know, it's like, I don't care that this person's not at all the character they were three episodes. I don't love watching that. You can feel a little betrayed sometimes when you're super into a show and all of a sudden someone's at, you know, like, hold on, this isn't the character we've been watching for four seasons.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  Calisi.

• 43:11Dax Shepard?

  They gave it to her high and hard, didn't they?

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was a harsh ending.

• 43:15Speaker 03

  But it depends on the show, cause like on Veep, you wouldn't have felt that, right?

• 43:18Speaker 05

  There were times, I remember one specific time on Veep and it was the season where I was being molested. And this was like a benefit of like the rehearsal process that we had, that there was this moment that I was supposed to reveal that I'm being molested and the people that I was with were supposed to hear it. And the joke was that they're hearing it and then also more and more people are being revealed in the room on the phone that I'm saying it to, you know what I mean? So you think it's one person and then somebody else is there. And then all of a sudden Gary Coles just goes, and I'm here too. Like, so like, I knew the joke, but like that scene was initially supposed to be played on a porch and I was supposed to be saying this over the phone. And in rehearsal, I just kept saying, guys,

• 44:03Speaker 05

  I know you need me to say it on the phone so that they can hear it. If I'm on a porch, I'm going to take five steps away. I don't like, I just kept saying it over and over and over. Like it will look dumb and also just character wise, he is embarrassed of this. He hates that this is happening. And so I'm not going to give this information in a place where anybody could hear it. And ultimately we rewrote it to be in the back of a limousine and ultimately ended up being funnier, just because in the moment he's on the phone and he knows everybody can hear him, but he tries to turn away. Just to do everything he can.

• 44:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 44:43Speaker 05

  I'm not fighting against the joke. I'm not trying to fight against it's just if he's on a porch, he's going to walk 20 feet away.

• 44:50Speaker 03

  He's still a person.

• 44:51Speaker 05

  It's still a person. It's a nightmare of a person. But he's still like, and so that's where I feel like fighting for things is where it is.

• 45:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Now back to this season three being about cohabitating really for the first time, you guys. I wanted to know what each of you thinks is your most annoying habit someone learns as they move in with you.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  Oh, I know.

• 45:14Dax Shepard?

  You know yours. Okay.

• 45:16Speaker 04

  Do you know?

• 45:18Dax Shepard?

  I would be afraid to guess.

• 45:19Speaker 03

  Let's say it at the same time. Let's say it at the same time.

• 45:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no.

• 45:23Speaker 03

  Three, two, one.

• 45:25Dax Shepard?

  You're so pretty.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  My squirrel piles.

• 45:27Dax Shepard?

  Isn't that you're too pretty?

• 45:29Speaker 03

  No.

• 45:29Dax Shepard?

  And you make your cohabitants feel insecure?

• 45:32Speaker 03

  No.

• 45:32Dax Shepard?

  What is it?

• 45:33Speaker 03

  My squirrel piles.

• 45:34Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. No, the funniest, yeah.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  We're gonna need a definition of squirrel piles.

• 45:39Dax Shepard?

  Squirrel piles. Cause really I'm now knowing what you're talking about.

• 45:41Speaker 03

  They're just piles of things that need decisions. They need time, effort and decisions. Perhaps it's a hand sanitizer that's on the bed and that needs to be put in the linen closet. And it's also maybe a brush from the girls' room and someone's T-shirt and a stuffy and maybe a bracelet I took off. And so that will become a squirrel pile at the end of the bed because there's too many decisions and places that those things need to go. So I just collect them.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  It's a cleaning pile-ish.

• 46:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it makes the opposite of cleaning happen. It really just makes these little, I mean, they also call them doom piles, but they, yeah, have a lot of little squirrel piles.

• 46:19Dax Shepard?

  So your doom piles don't bother me, other than the one time I was really annoyed with you guys. I was on the bed and if you were to go into our room right now, there are no less than 17 gadgets that Kristen has ordered off Instagram, right? There's like a back stretcher. There's a mat with electrodes in it. There's a thing for your skin, right? It's everywhere.

• 46:36Speaker 03

  There's my mask.

• 46:37Dax Shepard?

  They're crammed underneath the console, under the TV. They're under the bed. If you look under her bed, there are just gizmos everywhere. And I'm laying on the bed like researching somebody and I hear, do you need this in here? And she is holding up my IMSA driving race license. It was a very important, it's a credit card.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  Oh, like your driver's license.

• 46:59Dax Shepard?

  Yes. In this room of shit everywhere. She's opened a drawer and she's like, do you have to have this anymore? And in that moment, I was like.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  I'd love to get rid of it. I'm cleared somehow.

• 47:10Dax Shepard?

  How dare you ask me to get rid of the one thing in this room that's mine that I need, when you're standing on top of a mountain of your own garbage?

• 47:19Speaker 03

  That's funny.

• 47:20Dax Shepard?

  That was the time I was, I was, it made me get critical of the piles.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  Understood. And honestly, like, sometimes I get so paralyzed with the decision of like, okay, but I really do want to use that shoulder massager because I really did hear it works. I haven't had the time before bed or I haven't had the time during the day, but I want, I want to get to it.

• 47:39Speaker 05

  And if you put it away, that's failure.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  If I put it away, that's failure. I can't see it and then it's gone. I'm like a baby. I don't understand object permanence. So if it's not in front of me, it doesn't.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  You're very out of sight, out of mind.

• 47:52Speaker 03

  No, you are.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  As a person.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Even with other people.

• 47:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. Honestly, well, I try to be very present.

• 48:00Dax Shepard?

  And if I give you a little critical, 40% of the piles are stuff she just needs to throw in the trash, but the guilt of throwing something away or putting it in the recycling is monumental for her.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  You can't recycle a lot of that stuff.

• 48:14Dax Shepard?

  I could go through these piles and have them reduced in an afternoon, right?

• 48:17Speaker 03

  Cause you don't care about back pain and, and skin health.

• 48:20Dax Shepard?

  Well, either do you or you'd be using the device.

• 48:22Speaker 03

  Good point. Well played. What's yours?

• 48:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, what's yours?

• 48:26Speaker 04

  I'm a different man than when I started dating my wife 14 years ago, but I didn't even know how to make a cup of coffee. I literally like just got up every morning and went to a coffee shop and got a coffee and a bagel and like a newspaper. Anyway, so I was not domestic, you know, I could pour food in the dog bowl and that was like where, and I wasn't like a slob, you know, I kept things nice, but I wouldn't wash anything or clean anything or, I didn't cook, so I didn't know how to do the dishes. I didn't have dishes.

• 48:54Speaker 05

  You're like, yeah, you just throw those out. No, these are our nice dishes for company.

• 48:58Speaker 04

  So I think that was a bit of a shock, but you know, I've since caught up and I feel pretty good domestically now.

• 49:05Dax Shepard?

  You think that's because you got pretty successful young?

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Right? Like you would have had to learn how to cook for yourself and all that if you're broke.

• 49:14Speaker 04

  I had a housekeeper once a week.

• 49:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:16Speaker 04

  And that got everything done I needed to do. Like I said, I wasn't a slob. It wasn't like the place was destroyed, but I was like, I don't need to learn how to clean a toilet.

• 49:23Dax Shepard?

  Right. Yeah.

• 49:24Speaker 04

  And you know, Layton was very much the opposite. And I also just think my interest truly, I like cooking now, but I didn't have anyone to cook for. So I didn't feel as you know, interesting to me and kids have changed that. And now I got all my chores that I like and it's separated into our spheres. I love my chores. There are things I'll never do. I never not interested in, but my shit, the trash, the dishwasher.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  Oh yeah. That's a good one. I hate, I hate doing.

• 49:48Speaker 04

  Love that. Eating the dog, I still do that.

• 49:51Dax Shepard?

  Uh, what about you, Justine?

• 49:52Speaker 02

  I have a few, but I'd say the thing, cause my husband's a neat freak. He's very clean. He can't cook either. So that's like my grievance with him is the non-cooking. In the time that we've been together, I actually know he's cooked me three meals and one of them was a rice cake with almond butter and blueberries and honey.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 50:11Dax Shepard?

  That's how shitty he is that you would remember that. That's something that was made for you.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  That's really cute. That's not a meal. And I was like pregnant. I was like, this is so disappointing. This is brought up on our show, but I leave doors open, every cabinet door I leave open. I leave the tops off of everything and that drives him crazy. And then the last one is that I so often I'm doing things and as I'm doing them, I'm in autopilot. And so my like head is on a different planet and I'm just doing things. I remember like one time he like lifted up a chocolate bar and there was like a Q-tip underneath it. And he was like, what in the world? Or like a spatula in the bathroom. And he's like, how? Like, I think that's annoying for him. It's not annoying in a real way, but it's like, what the fuck is happening? Like, how did this happen? Like, what is the story

• 50:59Speaker 02

  behind it? And he would take pictures of things that I would leave and be like, tell me what the story is.

• 51:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we just want the order. Did the chocolate bar come first or the Q-tip?

• 51:08Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 51:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I just need to know what order.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  I have this story. He got me an engagement ring. I knew he was gonna propose to me. I found it. And one day he came up to me and he was like, you found my engagement ring? And I was like, no, I didn't. And he was like, yes, you did. And I was like, no, I didn't. He was like, yes, you did. I know you didn't. And I was like, how did you know? And he was like, because I opened up the box and there was peanut butter all over it.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  And it was when I was pregnant, cause we got married, he proposed to me after we were pregnant. I was sitting in bed. I was sitting in bed, eating peanut butter and I opened up this bedside table and I was like, ooh, I put it on. I just got peanut butter all over it and then put it back.

• 51:50Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 51:51Dax Shepard?

  You're so indignant with like, no, I didn't. And there's fucking peanut butter all over it?

• 51:57Speaker 02

  I'm like messy in that way.

• 51:59Dax Shepard?

  Would you always lie? Or was that like, oh, I gotta protect his goal? Yeah.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  I didn't want him to think that I had like seen it.

• 52:07Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 52:07Speaker 03

  Did he still propose or did he in the moment just was like, just take it?

• 52:11Speaker 02

  He still proposed. He had like a sweet.

• 52:13Dax Shepard?

  You should have buried it in a whole jar of peanut butter.

• 52:17Dax Shepard?

  Eat your way to this. Eat your way to our life together.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  So good.

• 52:21Speaker 05

  I think the list of things that would annoy a cohabiting person is too long.

• 52:29Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 52:30Speaker 05

  I think I am a nightmare to live with and I have gotten better. I think if I were to pull out one, I'll say two things. I think if I were to pull out one.

• 52:38Dax Shepard?

  No reason to limit it. If you want to go to three or four.

• 52:41Speaker 05

  The one that I think if there was one thing, it would be that if I'm going to do, if I'm going to do the dishes, if I'm going to clean a room, ultimately there is always one dish that is not done. The job is 99.9. And then I think something happens where I'm just like, well, I'm walking away from this.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  Can I ask you, is it a specific kind of dish you won't get into? Or is it just always the last?

• 53:03Speaker 05

  It's kind of the last one. And it's usually the one where it's like, I gotta get the fucking bottle brush out for this.

• 53:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:09Speaker 05

  Fuck that.

• 53:09Speaker 04

  That's what I mean. It's a special, it's a special operation.

• 53:12Speaker 05

  It's a special operation. But I, one thing about being in a long-term relationship is that we have now been together long enough where there have been moments where I've just like, you know, there's a certain way you fold the towels in order for them to fit in the basket to go where the towels go. And we have been together long enough that there have been times where I've just said, Annie, I love you so much. I don't give a fuck about this.

• 53:34Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 53:34Speaker 05

  Like I just, there, I am gonna learn so many. I have learned to cook. I have learned to be better. I've, I've tried to get better at the squirrel piles. You know, I've tried, I've tried to engage with some of these things. And then every once in a while, it's just like, I need to repair you. That this one will never happen.

• 53:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 05

  I'm doing all these other things and I'm really trying. And there are a couple of times where I've just had to been like, I just fundamentally do not give a fuck about this one. So that's unfortunately gonna be on you.

• 54:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  I think that's fair.

• 54:05Dax Shepard?

  I think that's reasonable.

• 54:06Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  No, I've had a similar talk with Tyson about his grievances with me where I'm like, well, this is just gonna be the thing. And like, there are so many things that I do, like I cook every meal. I get all the groceries, da, da, da, da, da. So babe, you're gonna have to close some doors. You're gonna have to screw on some caps. That's just gonna be how it goes.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:27Dax Shepard?

  I'm guessing for you though, what's really happening, Tim, more than I would think it's one dish you don't wanna fuck with, is your brain, the second you're closing in on the finish of the project, you go to the next thing you're doing and then that's so overwhelming, you just start doing it.

• 54:44Speaker 05

  Yes, though we've talked about like the ADHD thing before of you get a hobby one morning. And it's like, well, this is all I care about for three days. It is that thing, the amount of times I have pulled into a gas station at zero miles left. A friend of mine put this to me in a great way, and I might've mentioned it on Mom's Car, that like filling up your gas tank is a hundred percent executive function and zero percent dopamine reward. So of course I'm always going to run out of gas.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  I hate getting gas.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  It's the worst.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  It is. It is.

• 55:16Speaker 01

  I hate it so much.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  Such a waste of time.

• 55:18Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 55:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I love that.

• 55:19Speaker 05

  It's one of the reasons I do, I was thinking about getting a fully electric car.

• 55:23Speaker 04

  You're not the same issue.

• 55:24Speaker 05

  And I was like, I was like, okay, it saves me from getting gas. That's awesome.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 55:29Speaker 05

  But my executive function is like, oh, well, when I'm down to zero miles, I can't just go to a gas station. So I, anyway, this is all to say that yes, there is also something in there of just like, well, I got close and I'm on to the next thing.

• 55:41Dax Shepard?

  What was the great Instagram we saw?

• 55:43Speaker 01

  It doesn't have to be finished. It just has to be perfect.

• 55:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, every, every ADHD project is, it doesn't have to be.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  It does kinda sound like all of yours are ADHD-ish. Yeah, mine, I'm sure. It's like my head being on a different track. It's somewhere else.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  Funny about gas though, cause I think that's the least Virgo thing about me. I always let it go to zero. I'm normally, I don't operate like that, but for that.

• 56:07Speaker 02

  That might be a female thing. I associate gas stations with like not fun, not good. Murder.

• 56:13Dax Shepard?

  Being pretty there.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  That's true. Always, I've had like a handful of like just not fun encounters at gas stations. People talking to me, like, I don't know.

• 56:22Dax Shepard?

  That's exactly why I like them. It's like, oh, this is where the rubber meets the road. Yeah, everyone has to use this gas station.

• 56:30Speaker 05

  When you think about it, the best possible thing that could happen at a gas station is you get gas. That's the height of the bounce and everything else is like a gradient of less.

• 56:42Speaker 01

  And win.

• 56:43Speaker 02

  Oh. The other thing I hate about gas stations is like you just watch money eat itself up so fast. Like it's just like, oh wow, I didn't get anything I actually wanted. Like you said, there's no dopamine hit of being like, I got something for this exorbitant amount of money.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. Although it is a little bit of a dopamine release if it's on zero and you make it. So maybe that is part of it.

• 57:07Dax Shepard?

  I'm chasing the hit.

• 57:08Speaker 01

  There is a little bit of like, oh, I did it.

• 57:10Dax Shepard?

  You've figured out how to gamify it to keep yourself interested.

• 57:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:13Dax Shepard?

  That's such a powerful example of framing, cause I go there and yes, it's a total money suck for something not fun. But I for so many years couldn't afford to fill up my tank. That when I'm doing it, I'll go like, oh, look at these gas prices. These suck. And it's not gonna affect me. Like it gives me the biggest boost of gratitude when I'm dumping a hundred dollars into the truck and it's not gonna kill me.

• 57:38Speaker 02

  Dress you out. Yeah.

• 57:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I'm like, fuck yeah, let it rip.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  I remember when I was first in LA, I would be like, okay, we're just gonna put in like 10 bucks.

• 57:44Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 57:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and we're gonna pray for a dip in the gas price next week. Fingers crossed.

• 57:52Dax Shepard?

  Well, mine is certainly, I make so many fucking noises. And I think any girl I ever dated before they moved in must've just been like morning three living with me like, oh my god.

• 58:03Speaker 04

  What kind of noise it went like?

• 58:04Dax Shepard?

  Body noises?

• 58:04Speaker 02

  Every type of noise you could imagine.

• 58:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  Do you wanna do some impressions?

• 58:08Dax Shepard?

  Clearing my throat, moist congestion, being congested.

• 58:15Dax Shepard?

  This is foul. Like the fact that she has stayed with me through this is really incredible.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Farting, do you fart in front of each other?

• 58:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, for sure.

• 58:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the whole gang does, right?

• 58:24Speaker 01

  You don't fart? You don't fart ever?

• 58:26Speaker 04

  What about your children? But my children fart.

• 58:29Dax Shepard?

  Yes, don't they just like unlock the door to everyone farting?

• 58:33Speaker 04

  No.

• 58:33Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 58:34Speaker 04

  I have other bad habits, but farting's, farting's never been a big issue for me.

• 58:39Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 58:39Speaker 04

  Not to brag.

• 58:40Dax Shepard?

  You're blessed. Well, not to brag. You're eating bear claws in your thing and you don't fart.

• 58:44Speaker 04

  I was gonna say, is it a diet? I can drink all the milk I want.

• 58:49Speaker 02

  What about you? Do you? Yeah, I do. But I will say it's like been an evolution for sure. But at the very beginning, so pregnancy for me, I fart a lot more.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  Did you ever have that?

• 59:00Speaker 04

  It makes sense.

• 59:01Speaker 02

  I think it was gassy and I remember, so Tyson and I did not live together when I got pregnant the first time. And I remember there was this one point and a couple of months later he moved in, but that was crazy. Anyway.

• 59:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. It's a lot of change in one.

• 59:15Speaker 02

  But I remember there was one morning where he was like, okay, bye, I'm gonna go to work. And he left and I was sitting in bed and I was like, okay, finally I can fart.

• 59:22Speaker 04

  I already like where this is going. I think I know where it's going.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  It's scaring me.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  And it was truly like a music, like, like, like, like.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Three of them.

• 59:34Dax Shepard?

  Wow. Like the orchestra pit warming up before the show.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  Massive, massive farts. And I was like, and then I, 10 minutes pass and I walk into the living room, which is like a direct path. Like it's like literally in my room and then like a hall and then the living room. And he's just sitting on the couch and he turns to me, he's like, yep, I heard it.

• 59:58Speaker 02

  And I remember I was livid. I was like, you didn't tell me that you were back. They didn't tell me. They pushed my call and I was like, how could you not tell me? I was like, I was so embarrassed and I was mad at him.

• 1:00:13Speaker 05

  I didn't know there was this much writing on my call getting pushed.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  That was crazy.

• 1:00:21Dax Shepard?

  That's funny, cause I've only been mad at Jackie Tone once in the 19 years I've known her. And it was, we were at our old house. I'm in the bathroom by myself in the middle of the afternoon and I farted. And it stunk. Mind you, I'm not putting any of this together when it happens. And then Jackie just blows into the bathroom and then goes directly into Kristen's closet and starts grabbing shit to wear for some event. And then says hi and then leaves. And I now am furious.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Let's clarify a little bit. So you would walk into our bedroom, then you pass through the bathroom, which has a closed door toilet area. Then you would go into my.

• 1:00:58Dax Shepard?

  Well, I wasn't taking a dump. I was standing at the sink and I had farted just in my piece of my own bathroom.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Understood.

• 1:01:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And what's funny is the brain works so fast. This took me hours to realize what really went on. So she left and I like, I'm on the phone to Kristen, I'm like, there's gotta be some boundaries with your friends that just come into our house. They go straight into the fucking bathroom and then they're just rummaging through your shit. Like, can I get a heads up? I'm really like spiraling about how many people are allowed to just walk into our house in our bathroom. And hours later, I was like, that's not what happened at all. I was embarrassed that it smelled in the bathroom.

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:32Dax Shepard?

  I don't care if she comes in the bathroom if I haven't farted. I'm like, oh, this whole thing was I was embarrassed that I farted.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  Well, you need a safe space.

• 1:01:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  I mean, that's also a fair thing to want, is space to fart in your own house.

• 1:01:44Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's why I felt so good. The court case I was making was bulletproof. Like, yeah, people shouldn't just walk into your bathroom in the middle of the afternoon, but that wasn't the truth.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  Right. That's very evolved of you to get there. But there was a lot of that in your defense in the beginning, cause I've always let all my friends come. I'm like, don't just come on in. I don't wanna come answer the door. Just if you're coming over, come over. If you need to grab something, come over. It's a very.

• 1:02:04Dax Shepard?

  Straight into our bathroom. First off.

• 1:02:06Speaker 01

  Door policy. But I have a relationship with a lot of people like that. And when we were first together, that really was stressful.

• 1:02:13Dax Shepard?

  It was just my fart.

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  I had the same thing. I would like give all my friends the code to our house and Tyson Aventure was like, enough. How many fucking people have the house code? And I'd be like, like literally, I don't even know how to name how many people have it. And he was like, can we not?

• 1:02:25Speaker 05

  We just have to move. Like, we just have to move.

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  We changed the code.

• 1:02:29Dax Shepard?

  Are you guys not making noises? Cause like my grandpa made noises and my dad made noises. Are you not making male noises?

• 1:02:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, I'm making the male noises.

• 1:02:37Dax Shepard?

  You are?

• 1:02:38Speaker 05

  I'm making the groans and the clicks and the farts. I'm going up the stairs and my knees are fucking.

• 1:02:43Speaker 04

  I love a loud, like a loud sneeze, but now I got everyone in my family doing it.

• 1:02:47Speaker 05

  Like a dad's sneeze?

• 1:02:48Speaker 04

  Everyone just power sneeze.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  I hate those.

• 1:02:50Speaker 05

  Full body.

• 1:02:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:57Dax Shepard?

  Armchair expert, if you dare. This episode is brought to you by Service Now. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not so dreamy parts, the stuff that gets in the way of the actual work. Now that's where Service Now's AI specialists come in. They don't just tell you what you should do about your busy work. They actually do it, start to finish, cases closed, requests handled, no extra work for you.

• 1:03:37Dax Shepard?

  So you and your team can focus on what matters most, which for me is, are they obsessed with male bodies on the same level as I am?

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  They never are.

• 1:03:45Dax Shepard?

  To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've talked before about Rob building our website on Squarespace and I bring it up again because it's a perfect example of what they do well. Rob had all the pieces, the content, the vision, the ideas, but he needed something to actually take all that and make it public facing. And Squarespace was that bridge. Maybe you're in the same spot. You've been developing something, a business, a skillset, a body of work, and it's been private. It's been yours, but at some point you're ready to put it out there and that transition from private to public can feel like a huge leap.

• 1:04:24Dax Shepard?

  Squarespace makes it feel like a step. Beautiful templates, built in SEO, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, everything you need to go from, I've been working on this to here it is, come find me. All in one place, no code, no stitching together a bunch of different tools. So if you've been sitting on something and waiting for the right moment, this might be it. Head to Squarespace.com slash DAX for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:04:57Dax Shepard?

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• 1:05:34Dax Shepard?

  It has a touchscreen you'll love using, a battery built to last through your busiest days, and impressive performance powered by Intel Core processors. That's the thing about the Dell Top Tech Event. The experts already found the winners. All that's left is finding yours. While shopping, you'll also find perks like Dell Rewards, fast free shipping, premium support and financing with flexible payment options. Shop the winners now at dell.com/deals. That's dell.com/deals.

• 1:06:10Dax Shepard?

  We get support by Peloton. You know that feeling when you're spiraling over a problem and you just can't figure it out? When that happens to me, I need a change of pace and I've found that running is the best way. It takes my brain out of the driver's seat and I come back with a fresh perspective. Running can be freeing and cathartic and Peloton helps you feel all of that. And now that feeling fits wherever you need it with the new Peloton Tread Flex. It's movable and foldable, designed to fit your life. So next time you feel stuck, you can go for a run literally anywhere. Whether that's in your office, living room, or even the attic. Plus they have classes with expert instructors and programs to meet you at any level and keep you moving.

• 1:06:52Dax Shepard?

  Let yourself run. Explore the new Peloton Tread Flex at onepeloton.com.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  Can I tell you what I hear as I fall asleep, laying next to Dax? This is what you'll hear as you're falling asleep.

• 1:07:11Dax Shepard?

  You guys, I'm so embarrassed.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  What is it? What's happening?

• 1:07:16Dax Shepard?

  If my headphones are on. Specifically, right?

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  Listening to music and clicking.

• 1:07:20Dax Shepard?

  I still have tics. Mostly in my waking time, I have my hands around them, but if I have like headphones on, I'm listening to a book on tape and I enter that zone, I will start doing weird tics.

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  Teeth stuff and clicking and.

• 1:07:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I gotta like check the way my lips blow out air. Like I just gotta check that.

• 1:07:37Speaker 05

  This is a good episode for maybe if younger people are listening to this to like prepare them for what adult relationships are like.

• 1:07:44Speaker 01

  I think it's good. The marriage rate is already on decline. I don't think this is gonna maybe help.

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  I mean, but the thing is, the thing is, you're kind of like.

• 1:07:52Speaker 01

  No, it's sweet.

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  Isn't that kind of what's awesome about marriage?

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  That's never bothered me, your noises, ever. In fact, I love knowing exactly where you are in the house. I love your little noises.

• 1:08:04Dax Shepard?

  Well, the kids have convinced me whether they're lying in my face or not, they're like, no, it's comforting. I know you're in the house and we're safe. And I'm like, no, thank God.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  That's what it is. That is a beautiful thing.

• 1:08:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but I could hear my grandpa in the back bedroom of the house, like the way he would try to free something up from his sinuses, which seemed to be something to do hours a day. I would just be like, holy fuck, how's grandma live with this? But then it was, I would kill to hear that noise right now. What were you about to say about the noises?

• 1:08:31Speaker 04

  I was just gonna say, I have to work very hard to not scare my wife coming into a room.

• 1:08:39Speaker 04

  Is that anyone else or no? No.

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  No, doesn't seem like it.

• 1:08:44Speaker 04

  I have to like make a noise, even if she knows I'm home. Like I have to kind of make a noise. If I don't, if I'm not audibly heard coming in, it's gonna be terrifying. Yeah.

• 1:08:53Dax Shepard?

  I do know that I have scared Kristen on accident and Kristen goes straight to crying when she's scared. And then she says, don't do that. Like it's very.

• 1:09:00Speaker 01

  If I'm startled, not like if I'm watching, like I love horror movies and I'll watch them and I don't cry, but if I'm startled, pop out, for sure it'll be immediate tears. Don't come from the other side of the fridge and say like, boo, that is not for me.

• 1:09:15Dax Shepard?

  And our daughter loves to do that to you.

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  She loves to do it to me and I loathe it.

• 1:09:20Dax Shepard?

  You have some little gremlins and I kind of love it.

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  I love popping on scaring.

• 1:09:26Speaker 01

  Did you do any pranks this year, this season? No, no pee pranks, no drinking pee.

• 1:09:31Dax Shepard?

  It's kind of hard. Once you go that, that big, you're kind of, you kind of fucked yourself for future pranks.

• 1:09:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. And that's not actually, I'm not a huge pranker. It was an act of love because I know that you love pranks, but I love watching a prank. I love receiving a prank, but I'm not like always thinking about pranks. I'm not, it's not like, what's next?

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  Speaking of crying, I cried watching the show. I never cry, but I cried at the proposal. Again, for me too. Spoilers. It was so sweet. It was so, so sweet and so well done. And I am curious about people's proposals. We got yours, sort of.

• 1:10:07Speaker 02

  Well, the actual proposal was in Bora Bora and it was on our baby moon and I went to a yoga class and I got back and he was like, come swim. In the back area and then I went swimming and I got out and he like put a towel on from behind me. And then when I turned around, he was down on one knee.

• 1:10:26Speaker 01

  That's romantic.

• 1:10:27Speaker 02

  It was really sweet. He said he had prepared a whole speech, but what came out was you are my girlfriend and I would like you to be my wife.

• 1:10:37Dax Shepard?

  Like a caveman kind of.

• 1:10:39Speaker 02

  He was like, the nerves just like washed, all the words went out. So it was just like a very rudimentary. I was like, well done. It was really cute though. And it was the most scenically beautiful place because you're like looking out at these like massive mountains. You would.

• 1:10:54Dax Shepard?

  Bora Bora, I say it makes Hawaii look like Reno.

• 1:10:57Speaker 02

  It's amazing.

• 1:10:57Dax Shepard?

  I mean, that's how dramatically beautiful it is. Yeah.

• 1:11:00Speaker 02

  And we were on one of the water huts.

• 1:11:01Speaker 04

  They went because of you.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. Cause that was couples retreat. Yeah. That flight is a killer though.

• 1:11:09Dax Shepard?

  It'll get you.

• 1:11:10Speaker 02

  Connection and everything. And I was at that point, six, seven months pregnant. I was at the very tail end of when you can fly. Yeah. So it was like pretty hardcore, but it was worth it. It's so gorgeous.

• 1:11:22Dax Shepard?

  If you have a medical issue there, you're best to deal with it yourself, I think.

• 1:11:25Speaker 02

  In retrospect, I'm like, wow, it was.

• 1:11:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I went into the main island in the center and got attacked by like 14 dogs and then left. We tried to go for a bike ride with Peter Seraphin and went, so we just got attacked by dog after dog. And we're like, let's get the hell out of here. Let's get back to the boat.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh. Isn't that also when you tried to swim across?

• 1:11:42Dax Shepard?

  I did, yeah. I didn't try, Monica. I succeeded.

• 1:11:45Speaker 01

  No matter how many times I said, please don't try to swim that stretch. It's a lot farther than it looks.

• 1:11:52Dax Shepard?

  I'll tell you guys the whole story, but she was shooting on a big barge in the middle of the ocean and I had taken a boat ride there. So I'm sitting there already said is boring, we all know. And then if set is the size of a barge is like nowhere to stand or do anything. So after about an hour of watching this scene that they're out in the water, I'm like, I want to go back. And they go, oh, there'll be no more boats until we wrap. And so I am looking at an island, you've been there. I'm looking at this island and I go, yeah, I can swim that. I'm going to swim to that island. Then I'm going to walk across the island, then swim between each island. Those are all short swims. And then I'll, mind you, the boat ride to this barge was like 40 minutes long. They had flippers and a mask on the boat for whatever reason. So I'm like, can I have these? Yeah, great.

• 1:12:36Dax Shepard?

  And the moment that was the most scary was I had been swimming for like 45 minutes.

• 1:12:41Speaker 04

  And you're solo.

• 1:12:42Dax Shepard?

  I'm by myself.

• 1:12:44Speaker 01

  The guys on the boat were like, please don't do this. And he was like, just tell my wife I left.

• 1:12:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:49Speaker 04

  Just tell my wife.

• 1:12:50Dax Shepard?

  I love her.

• 1:12:52Speaker 05

  I loved her.

• 1:12:54Dax Shepard?

  Make sure she knows I loved her. And I was swimming for about forty five minutes and I have that moment where it's like I come up and I stare at the island I've been swimming at and it is not any closer. And then I turn around and I look at the barge and it is so fucking tiny. And now I can't decide which one's closer. And I've been at this for forty five minutes. I felt myself start to have a panic attack and then I was like, oh, no, no, you could. There's no room for that right now. So like laid on my back and floated for a while and then I was like, okay, we gotta get to this island.

• 1:13:22Speaker 05

  And then you went to the island.

• 1:13:23Dax Shepard?

  I went to the island and this real story takes off, which is there were a bunch of dogs on the island.

• 1:13:29Speaker 05

  How long was the, how much longer?

• 1:13:30Dax Shepard?

  And I swam for almost two hours straight. And then when I got to the island, I was so relieved to get there. I'm gonna walk across the island. I step on shore and like a pack of dogs runs out from the middle.

• 1:13:40Speaker 05

  You already met earlier with the bike.

• 1:13:41Dax Shepard?

  The whole place is riddled with stray crazy dogs, as it turns out. And so I was never able to walk on any of the islands. I had to walk in water like shoulder high because the dogs would all run out. They come in the water, swim around me, whatever. The whole point is when I get back to the room that night, I don't have a key. I don't have anything. I'm sunburnt. My feet are bloody. I knock on the door and Kristen answers and she goes, were you at the gym? Like she's been wrapped for a while.

• 1:14:08Speaker 03

  I've been wrapped for like three hours. I went to the gym. I texted other people. Has anyone seen Dax? They said he came back. I was like looking for him. He shows up three hours after we wrapped.

• 1:14:19Dax Shepard?

  His workout.

• 1:14:20Speaker 03

  It's pitch black. His feet are shredded from walking on the coral. He's dehydrated.

• 1:14:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, I killed four dogs.

• 1:14:31Dax Shepard?

  I had to. I had to. I know you love dogs, but I had to. Wait, Adam, what was yours?

• 1:14:36Speaker 05

  I'll spare the details, however, rest assured, it was not as romantic as it should have been. The only thing romantic about it was the speed. I proposed pretty quickly into our relationship. We got married fast, but other than that, it was very pedestrian.

• 1:14:49Dax Shepard?

  Taco Bell or something?

• 1:14:53Speaker 05

  And I've learned the thing is, you know, at the time you're like, whatever, but you're gonna tell that story the rest of your life. So my advice.

• 1:14:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:00Speaker 05

  Do it, do it, not even just for the moment, but for the story that you're gonna tell forever.

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  My parents were just like, it was a conversation.

• 1:15:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:08Dax Shepard?

  With an arbitrary. There is something very pragmatic that I love about you. I can see that from you of being like, yeah, we love each other. Like, let's just get married. Why are we gonna do all this bullshit? Let's just do it. Let's just fucking do the thing. You know what I mean?

• 1:15:21Speaker 05

  There's that and yet, and yet I do kick myself a little. She deserved a little more.

• 1:15:25Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:15:25Speaker 05

  But yes.

• 1:15:26Dax Shepard?

  Would you say that you're allergic to pageantry? Is that a fair?

• 1:15:29Speaker 05

  Certainly.

• 1:15:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, certainly. I have a similar hang up about pageantry.

• 1:15:33Speaker 02

  Didn't you guys have a whole thing about Mother's Day this year and how you thought it was like dumb? Or something like that?

• 1:15:37Speaker 05

  No, I'm not a big, I'm not a big, no.

• 1:15:39Dax Shepard?

  What was the exclusive you were telling us?

• 1:15:41Speaker 05

  No, I'm not a big Valentine's Day person.

• 1:15:45Speaker 03

  Valentine's Day.

• 1:15:46Dax Shepard?

  I saw a lot more.

• 1:15:47Speaker 03

  A lot of people feel like that.

• 1:15:49Speaker 05

  I'm just like the state sanctioned, like we all have to go. Everyone's like state sanctioned lovemaking. It's weird.

• 1:15:54Dax Shepard?

  You know, we have two of those in Michigan. We have Valentine's Day, but we also have Swedish Day, which is literally a holiday made up by Hallmark. And I worked with this dude when I was like fifteen, this older mechanic, and he had just moved there from Ohio and he was in a terrible mood at work. And I was like, Greg, what's going on? He's like, my fucking wife won't talk to me because I didn't give her a Swedish Day card yesterday. He's like, we just moved here six months ago. She was already latched on to this ridiculous thing and now I'm in fucking trouble. And the guy's day was ruined.

• 1:16:27Speaker 03

  Totally forgot that I had that holiday in Michigan and I have never experienced that holiday since.

• 1:16:33Dax Shepard?

  Thought about it again, right?

• 1:16:35Speaker 03

  Do we know the day?

• 1:16:36Dax Shepard?

  No, I don't.

• 1:16:37Speaker 03

  But it's, but you know when it's coming up because.

• 1:16:40Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:16:43Speaker 03

  It's coming up and people do things. You get, your dad gets your mom flowers, your high school boyfriend gives you a card or a rose.

• 1:16:50Dax Shepard?

  It's two Valentine's Day.

• 1:16:51Speaker 02

  The value of Valentine's for me was it hit the hardest when I was a kid.

• 1:16:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:57Speaker 02

  I love Valentine's Day.

• 1:16:59Speaker 03

  The cards to class.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, you give everyone a Valentine and then you could pay a dollar to like give your crush a rose or. I don't know. There was something about it that was like really sweet and like kind of like the day that you got to like tell your crush that you like.

• 1:17:12Dax Shepard?

  I agree with that whole heart.

• 1:17:14Speaker 02

  Or that you got a Valentine from the guy that you were like hoping that you'd get a Valentine from or, or you didn't.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, or you didn't.

• 1:17:20Dax Shepard?

  We had a Valentine mishap this year and it was the hardest, it's the most pain I've been in in a decade.

• 1:17:25Speaker 02

  What happened?

• 1:17:26Dax Shepard?

  We had a little one who, yeah, who had had a Valentine and that Valentine didn't really acknowledge her all day and she had done so much. Oh, no. And I was like, I'm gonna fucking kill this prick.

• 1:17:38Speaker 03

  Lock the doors from the outside with the key just to make sure Dax didn't knock on this little boy's door that evening.

• 1:17:45Dax Shepard?

  Are you kidding me, my friend? Do you know what you got here on the hook? This is number one girl in America. You're not gonna fucking.

• 1:17:53Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 1:17:54Dax Shepard?

  Bring her all the chocolates.

• 1:17:56Speaker 02

  I mean, that is the other side of the coin. Is it feels so intense when you don't get it, which I had a lot too, but in retrospect, I'm like, you know what? It's kind of nice to have felt all that stuff so hard as a kid.

• 1:18:07Dax Shepard?

  Also, what you, I realized once I was in the next time I was in class and I was eyeing up this little fucker, I was like, oh yeah, boys don't know what the hell is going on.

• 1:18:18Dax Shepard?

  The fifth grade girls are into Valentine. The boys are still like, what is the thing?

• 1:18:21Speaker 03

  He completely forgot that it was that day.

• 1:18:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he didn't.

• 1:18:25Speaker 03

  But this is how much, and we can't, you know, I don't want to say too much obviously about her, but she is so your daughter. Because like a week later I was like, you know, I'm really sorry that happened. She was like, oh, it's fine. He didn't mean it. She immediately

• 1:18:37Dax Shepard?

  understood.

• 1:18:38Speaker 03

  Had an understanding that it wasn't personal.

• 1:18:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that she had different expectations than him.

• 1:18:44Speaker 03

  Eleven and can do that, but yeah. What's your proposal?

• 1:18:48Speaker 05

  Mine was, I think, kind of a part and parcel of who I am as a person, which is, I find, I think, maybe a little bit more romance in the chaos of things, of things not working out than, and I think, and my wife is very like, she's a public school teacher. She likes a plan. She likes knowing what's gonna happen. And I think there is something that I connect to in like the romance of chaos that she doesn't latch on to. So unfortunately, again, I will echo Adam of like, plan your shit out a little bit better, but I feel like what I had was a great plan, which was.

• 1:19:24Dax Shepard?

  He had in a fender bender intentionally.

• 1:19:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the guy gets out really mad, but he has the ring and punches me. There was this lake that my family grew up going to, like when I was a kid. It was my great grandmother's cabin. And it was built in like the eighteen fifties and it had like terrible plumbing and barely any electricity. And it was a few towns away from where I grew up. And we would spend all summer there and it was like a really magical place where there was no TV and we just read books and the sun would go down and there were loons there and we would go fishing with my dad. It was a place I really loved. And she has always loved coming to Maine with me. Maine has become a really special place to her. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna propose. And we were on like this family camp week. My whole family kind of gets together for one week every summer.

• 1:20:11Speaker 05

  And I was like, I'm gonna take her to the dock at that place that meant so much to me. And years earlier, my dad had sold it and I did not think about the fact that like maybe another family would be enjoying this home in the same way that my family did. And it is like a solid twenty minutes down a dirt road in the forest to nowhere. And I looked down, having driven her twenty minutes into the fucking woods at like the top of this thing. And I was like, there are four cars in that driveway. There are like towels and like little floaties to go out to the dock.

• 1:20:46Dax Shepard?

  They've got a beach day planned.

• 1:20:47Speaker 05

  I'm, yeah, like I'm just gonna be like walking into somebody's lunch plant. So I just kind of ended up stuttering at the top of a hill. And being like, uh, you know, things are going great and uh, I forgot, this is the one thing that I actually do legit. And like, I think she sort of takes this in the way of like, we do it the way we want to do it. Cause she is, I don't think ever felt bad about this, but I forgot to get on one knee. And I just did it standing up and I do, that's the one little thing. And she has never been like, I can't believe you didn't do that.

• 1:21:20Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:21:21Speaker 05

  But I think like, looking back, I was like, I really should have gotten on one knee.

• 1:21:23Dax Shepard?

  Well, and not to pile on, but if any person should have got on one knee, it's you. Towering over her. You will marry me. I mean, will you marry me?

• 1:21:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, like. And it ended up, and like, one of the best things about it was right after we got engaged, we like went back down the dirt road. And we went to like this little store. We got like little sub sandwiches and we were both like sitting on the steps of this general store in this little town. And we're both like, these are the best fucking sandwiches we've ever eaten. Those are the best fucking sandwich. And so like every time we go by that general store and it's like, God, that was the best fucking sandwich. Yeah. But I will say like, I do kind of wish that I had like looked into it a little bit more to be like, was there anybody at that house? Cause it would have been a little more beautiful, right on the lake with all the shit behind it. Instead, it was like, you know, dirt road and, you know, not as, not as, not as romantic.

• 1:22:15Dax Shepard?

  Was the lake in view? Was the lake in view?

• 1:22:18Speaker 05

  You could see it.

• 1:22:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay, it was in the distance.

• 1:22:20Speaker 05

  It was there.

• 1:22:20Dax Shepard?

  It felt like there was a lake over the hill.

• 1:22:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:22:25Speaker 02

  What about you guys?

• 1:22:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:22:27Speaker 03

  Ooh, I wonder if you two have different memories of it. Wouldn't that be interesting?

• 1:22:31Dax Shepard?

  That would be highly likely, considering how different our memories are. But I had planned the thing. There was a restaurant that we went to one time. It was the first time I said I love you to Kristen.

• 1:22:43Speaker 03

  You whispered it in my ear. Stanley's in the valley.

• 1:22:46Dax Shepard?

  Which maybe is not in, are they still slinging salads?

• 1:22:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think they're slinging.

• 1:22:50Speaker 02

  I think you ordered a salad from there.

• 1:22:52Speaker 03

  I did. The grapefruit cashew chicken salad.

• 1:22:56Dax Shepard?

  And I think roughly it was gonna be around some kind of anniversary. I don't know why I was months out with it because I had the ring forever.

• 1:23:03Speaker 03

  You did?

• 1:23:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:04Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:23:05Dax Shepard?

  And remember the jeweler announced it, that I had bought an engagement ring. That was a whole fucking ordeal and I hadn't even proposed to you yet.

• 1:23:12Speaker 03

  No, but that was after I. Saw it, wasn't it?

• 1:23:15Dax Shepard?

  No, this is something I was dealing with with Marcel, which is like this guy made an announcement that I bought you an engagement ring.

• 1:23:23Speaker 03

  So I knew you had.

• 1:23:24Dax Shepard?

  You didn't. You had no idea. As you recall, you had no idea that I was ever gonna ask you to get married.

• 1:23:29Speaker 03

  I had surrendered.

• 1:23:30Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:23:31Speaker 03

  Because you told me you didn't believe in marriage.

• 1:23:32Dax Shepard?

  Pageantry.

• 1:23:33Speaker 03

  You told me why. I didn't think there would ever be an answer because I was like, I kinda like that tradition. And he said, because a piece of paper filed at a courthouse somewhere in California is not going to dictate how I treat you. It's just not. And so I'm going to treat you well and act like your partner for the rest of your life, but it has nothing to do with that piece of paper. So these are very different things we're talking about. And I was like, well, that's kind of a pretty decent point. And so I was like.

• 1:23:59Dax Shepard?

  Way too much for me to care about it. But yeah, there was some anarchist point of view is like, I don't have to ask the state of California if we can be together and then ask them if we cannot be together.

• 1:24:07Speaker 03

  If I can treat you like my wife.

• 1:24:09Dax Shepard?

  Also, we're both children of like multiple divorces. Between the two of us, we got like eight divorces between the two of us. I was like, what does this mean? This thing doesn't mean anything.

• 1:24:16Speaker 03

  And you were doing it. So I was like, okay, well, he treats me like his wife. Like, I guess, who cares? And then it was Christmas Day.

• 1:24:23Dax Shepard?

  Eve.

• 1:24:23Speaker 03

  Eve.

• 1:24:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:24Speaker 03

  And I flew back from Detroit, flown to Detroit by myself, picked up his parents and flown back to California with them. And so we had been on a plane, was a really fast trip. I was exhausted. We got in bed.

• 1:24:40Dax Shepard?

  We had a really beautiful Christmas Eve in the house.

• 1:24:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, really beautiful.

• 1:24:42Dax Shepard?

  That's what happened for me was we had this beautiful Christmas Eve with my family. We were in bed that night and you were kind of expressing gratitude for this little family we were making. And I was like, oh, this is the moment I'm gonna try to recreate in a month at Stanley's over a salad, but it's happening. I was like, fuck it. I'm just gonna go get the ring now. Yeah. And then I went into the closet. I had it in a jacket pocket.

• 1:25:08Speaker 03

  He was rustling in the closet.

• 1:25:12Speaker 03

  And somehow I sensed it immediately. I'm like, there's nothing else he could be doing with this

• 1:25:17Dax Shepard?

  That one in the morning in his closet.

• 1:25:19Speaker 03

  priority right now that would seem this important. And so I just knew. And so like my spine started tingling and like, I just started like breathing heavy and he came out and.

• 1:25:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, she's already crying by the time I got back to the bed. Yeah.

• 1:25:31Speaker 03

  Right?

• 1:25:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:32Speaker 03

  And he got down on one knee and he said, will you marry me? And then I started sobbing really, really hard because that was very overwhelming. It was something I didn't think was coming.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:46Speaker 03

  For about maybe, I don't know, 45 minutes, we fall asleep. Next morning I get up to go make coffee and his mom comes to me in the kitchen and she goes, are you okay, buddy? I heard you crying last night. Did you guys have a fight?

• 1:25:59Dax Shepard?

  She thought we got in a big Christmas Eve fight.

• 1:26:02Speaker 03

  And I was like, no.

• 1:26:05Dax Shepard?

  We're married.

• 1:26:06Speaker 05

  Just as a little post note on that is that when I bought the engagement ring, I bought it, I went down, like one of Annie's friends took me down to the jewel district in Chicago and I went to this place called Monique's. And I like kind of talked, Monique, Monique set me up.

• 1:26:19Speaker 03

  Shout out.

• 1:26:20Speaker 05

  Shout out Monique's. If she's still alive, she's 180. We went through the whole process. I kind of described the things that she would like. She found one. It was really nice. And then we did the whole thing. I bought it. And on the way out, she said, oh, oh, if you give it, don't give this to her on a holiday, because if it doesn't work out, she could say it was a gift for that holiday.

• 1:26:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh, what a.

• 1:26:45Speaker 05

  That was her parting advice.

• 1:26:47Dax Shepard?

  What a wise.

• 1:26:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, she was just like, don't, don't do it on Valentine's Day. Don't do it on Christmas because of it.

• 1:26:52Speaker 03

  You're gonna get it back after this?

• 1:26:53Speaker 05

  Yeah. Cause she was like, you know, you just spent a lot of money on this. And if you want to get it back, she's gonna be able to claim it was a Christmas gift.

• 1:27:00Speaker 03

  Monique's so hardcore.

• 1:27:02Speaker 05

  Monique was not.

• 1:27:03Dax Shepard?

  She's seen some shit.

• 1:27:04Speaker 05

  40%.

• 1:27:04Dax Shepard?

  And I'll give you 40%.

• 1:27:06Speaker 05

  But then I'll sell it for 80 on top of that. But no, that is also maybe just for the people listening.

• 1:27:11Speaker 04

  And to be clear, you did not do it on a holiday.

• 1:27:14Speaker 05

  I didn't. I didn't.

• 1:27:16Dax Shepard?

  Sounds like you did it on Labor's Day with the amount of people that were at the lake that day.

• 1:27:22Speaker 04

  It's a Labor Day gift, sorry.

• 1:27:23Speaker 05

  When we get divorced, she's gonna be like, this was a Labor Day gift.

• 1:27:27Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I have one question that's show related. If your partner's family absolutely hates you, whose responsibility is it to fix that? Cause that's kind of simmering at all times here.

• 1:27:38Speaker 04

  Theirs, 100%.

• 1:27:40Dax Shepard?

  It's the family's?

• 1:27:41Speaker 04

  No, it's the partner.

• 1:27:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's your spouse or your husband.

• 1:27:46Speaker 02

  If my family hated my husband, I would need to take care of that.

• 1:27:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. It's more.

• 1:27:50Dax Shepard?

  You would.

• 1:27:51Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:27:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, by either setting your family straight or cutting them out. I don't know.

• 1:27:56Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh, uh huh.

• 1:27:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I agree. I feel like there's like a responsibility to like protect your spouse.

• 1:28:02Speaker 04

  Unless you're dead wrong and they have a point to protect you, you know, but.

• 1:28:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:28:07Speaker 04

  Assuming you love this person and you're an adult and this is the choice.

• 1:28:10Speaker 02

  And you know that nothing like that they've done is completely egregious that warrants your family hating them. I feel like it's on me to be like, hey, guys, get this together. You gotta figure this out. Cause this is my person. What do you think? You don't think so?

• 1:28:25Speaker 03

  No, I do. Unless, I was just thinking of the both ways of what if your partner was not aggressive, but had a lack of respect for the family, then it would sort of be, it's still, would still be on you to say like, hey, this is kinda how it happens in my family. I need you to bring a little bit more respect to the table or whatever.

• 1:28:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's fair too.

• 1:28:47Speaker 02

  I've found that in situations where I do feel like my partner is wrong about something or like, there's like a conflict that I kind of understand my family's point of view on it. I'll talk to him separately about my feelings about it, but with my family, I am always on his side.

• 1:29:02Speaker 03

  You're on the same team.

• 1:29:03Speaker 02

  So like, we talk about what I think needs to be worked on, on his behalf, but in relation to them, they know I'm always going to be with him.

• 1:29:13Speaker 03

  United front. That's nice. Yeah.

• 1:29:15Dax Shepard?

  Well, I like that program.

• 1:29:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:17Speaker 04

  I mean, in terms of character, like that's where I've probably had a fair amount of struggle or pushback occasionally is Noah's deference to his family, mom, et cetera, temple even, you know, where I'm like, I hear it, but maybe he could be, you know, anyway. And he is, that's his struggle. That is his struggle on the show. So it makes sense that he'd be torn. But you know, I tend to err on the side of.

• 1:29:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, cause one of the big plot points that goes over multiple episodes is your mother, very much it's her wedding. She wants to plan the wedding, host the wedding, pick the music. I mean, she's full on.

• 1:29:50Speaker 05

  I guess the thing that popped into my head is I was recently reminded of when I was dating my college girlfriend. And I don't think her parents ever particularly liked me. Maybe her mom liked me a little bit, but being like a little chaos goblin at the time, I think they were like, what's going on here? Like, look at this dude.

• 1:30:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:08Speaker 05

  And I was at their house in like November and in front of her eight year old brother, I like accidentally revealed that Santa Claus wasn't real. And I have such a clear memory of that kid who was like playing with Legos on the floor, just looking up at his mother. And then they started covering for me. And I think there is a part of that where like, the thing that's giving me pause in this conversation is that I'm like, I was beyond help. No, what I should have done, no work to help this. And she certainly did not do any work to help this. We just needed to like have me not around. You know what I mean? Like, so I think that that just popped into my head.

• 1:30:51Speaker 04

  You're a sweetheart. Fuck them.

• 1:30:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you were right, as it turns out.

• 1:30:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's an odd thing of like, accepting the person, as long as that person treats your family member well.

• 1:31:02Speaker 04

  In this scenario, hypothetical, I'm going, I'm saying that your partner is amazing and a great person.

• 1:31:09Speaker 05

  And they're like.

• 1:31:09Speaker 04

  You know, and you are wise and shows wise, are in love with someone who treats you how you want to be treated. That's the baseline. Yeah. If that's on the case, I don't know.

• 1:31:19Speaker 03

  You would need to apologize. Like, it is on you to apologize. It wouldn't be on your partner to apologize on your behalf, I think, but that doesn't mean.

• 1:31:28Speaker 05

  A lot of our college friend group has been talking recently because one of the members just passed away. And so we have all been kind of in contact recently. And I was talking to my college ex-girlfriend, who was a big part of this group. And we were like sharing pictures and telling stories. And I did say, oh, by the way, please apologize again to your mom. And this was both a great thing and a real bummer. She was like, oh my God, my mom is completely okay with it. She found it so funny. Like in retrospect, it's incredibly funny. And but in the other part of me was like, fuck, she still remembers. Like it was actually bad enough that all this time later, she still remembers.

• 1:32:08Dax Shepard?

  The whole thing is tricky because every family has their weird little idiosyncratic way of behaving and treating each other. And you're asking an outsider to come join in that, which is stressful. But I do think as the partner, my instinct is first, oh, I want you to acknowledge that this is crazy or that this pressure from your, you want that acknowledgement, like, oh yeah, this is crazy. But I do think the times you can feel most loved by your partner is when you see them, despite that, go out of their way to make everything peaceful with your family is maybe the greatest display of love you have. Because party is just like, I didn't sign up for this. I picked this person.

• 1:32:49Dax Shepard?

  So when that happens, I think it can be one of the more special things that happens in a relationship. Like this can't be easy, what you're doing. Right now.

• 1:32:56Speaker 05

  And talking about like, you know, we were kind of talking about growth earlier and you mentioned that thing of like, we all play roles in our family and even as we age, we get back together with our family. We sink that where we regress into that role. And I think one cool thing about bringing a partner into that is that sometimes they can call you on that.

• 1:33:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:33:14Speaker 05

  And then you also then have to grow and you're like, oh, fuck, I just can't keep doing this. I can't keep playing the same role. I actually have to like, and then having a partner can enrich in.

• 1:33:26Speaker 02

  Well, it makes sense because it's like bringing a piece of your future self into the equation to pull you forward.

• 1:33:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, like in a way into your past and it pulls you forward. I think that is cool.

• 1:33:35Speaker 04

  And just as an objective new observer that knows you so well, I was like, oh, that's where you come from. Okay, I see that, you know?

• 1:33:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:33:41Speaker 05

  I'm connecting all the dots now.

• 1:33:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. I remember Tyson having that talk with me after like spending some serious time with my parents and being like, I get it. I get like who you are and how this is. And it's actually, you're amazing.

• 1:33:57Speaker 01

  It's nice to be seen.

• 1:34:00Speaker 02

  You made it.

• 1:34:01Dax Shepard?

  I love that it's just universal that everyone thinks their partner is the one sane member of their family. It's just kind of like standard. He's like, oh, yeah, you're, you made it somehow. I don't know how.

• 1:34:12Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:34:13Dax Shepard?

  Well, you guys, I would say this season's fantastic. I watched it with great rapidity as well. I just enjoyed watching your guys' stuff so much this season. It was nice to add that element to it so strongly. I think it makes it super compelling and fun to watch all over again because you guys are so spectacular.

• 1:34:30Speaker 01

  More dramatic this season, I would say, in a beautiful way.

• 1:34:34Speaker 02

  We've talked about is how some of the drama that we have allows for some fun, like enjoying each other, like the drama is taken care of by us so that this can be like playful in places where you haven't seen. And I had so much fun watching some of them just having fun together.

• 1:34:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, that chemistry is really off the charts.

• 1:34:54Speaker 03

  And now other chemistry.

• 1:34:56Speaker 05

  I want to shout out Justine and I think I even mentioned it to you while we were shooting that like Justine is such an incredible performer that the face of vulnerability that she has while she is performing made me as like an actor and a character want to like when I am saying, because this is coming out after the show comes out, right? Like while I am saying, and it is like the healthy thing to do of like, I'm not in the place right now. And I think that's a very emotionally healthy and grown up thing for Sasha to do in that moment. There were moments where I was just like, man, just make this easier on her. Just say yes, like, because she is so, she has like this intense vulnerability in these moments. And I would find myself just being like, I just want to solve this for you. Like, this is a lot. You know what I mean?

• 1:35:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:35:40Speaker 05

  Like, I just wanted to shout out Justine as a performer.

• 1:35:43Speaker 02

  Tim.

• 1:35:44Dax Shepard?

  I love it.

• 1:35:45Speaker 05

  We agreed to do this earlier.

• 1:35:46Speaker 02

  When we were filming the kiss that we had, every time Tim and I would kiss, I'd have this like freak out. Like I would like, just like giggle and like be like, ah. And one of the takes, I even cut us.

• 1:36:00Speaker 04

  She called cut.

• 1:36:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:36:04Speaker 02

  Got onto the bed and like, it was keeping on going and I was like, cut.

• 1:36:10Speaker 05

  Part of it was is that we are such close friends.

• 1:36:14Speaker 02

  Well, this is what it was. It was that we are very, very close friends, like brother sister. And it was confronting to have Tim present such sex appeal.

• 1:36:26Speaker 02

  Put me on the back foot. Like, it actually got me like flustered. I was like, oh my God, like, because he comes in like so hot. It was kind of disorienting and I got like giddy and weird about it because I was like, oh my God, my like buddy is like getting all hot on me. This is so weird.

• 1:36:44Speaker 01

  Wow, that's so life art. That's wild.

• 1:36:46Speaker 02

  It was really funny.

• 1:36:48Speaker 05

  It was very funny when.

• 1:36:50Speaker 02

  Because he was also like, why are you being so unprofessional?

• 1:36:53Speaker 05

  She's like, what is going on? Just cut, cut.

• 1:36:58Speaker 05

  Help.

• 1:36:59Speaker 01

  That's funny.

• 1:37:00Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, everyone's really like unbelievable in this season.

• 1:37:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:37:04Speaker 03

  You know, we've all read all of the scripts and then even just watching the edits, I know every single moment that's about to happen. And when I was watching those episodes, my body was aching, like my chest was aching watching you guys.

• 1:37:17Speaker 05

  And I do think it is cool. Like after all the conversations we had about season one, that it found an organic way and earned way.

• 1:37:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:27Speaker 05

  To explore it that felt right, that felt like we confronted all of those things that we were talking about earlier that were character based. You don't look at it and be like, oh, I don't like that this is happening, or at least I don't.

• 1:37:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then at the very, very end.

• 1:37:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:37:42Speaker 03

  There's a few scenes that are like, oh my God, what do I want now?

• 1:37:48Speaker 04

  I don't know what I want to happen.

• 1:37:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's like, I feel like I want both things.

• 1:37:53Speaker 02

  We were having those discussions ourselves through the whole time. Like, do we want that? Like, just like pontificating about who do we want everyone to end up with? And like, why? And what would be the most satisfying? And like, just even like, as if this was like a real life couple. What would be, you know?

• 1:38:10Speaker 03

  So also we should shout out Jackie. She's fantastic in this season.

• 1:38:14Speaker 02

  I mean, she's, she's the huge reason why it works because of her track and like how you buy into wanting her to go on that journey.

• 1:38:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:38:23Speaker 02

  Which allows the space for that even to happen.

• 1:38:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:38:26Speaker 03

  Because she's so good at going on that.

• 1:38:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:38:29Dax Shepard?

  You guys did it again. I guess what happens in season four? Everyone has babies.

• 1:38:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, should we just tell them the whole plot of season four right now?

• 1:38:37Speaker 03

  I guess I should. Yeah. No, I mean, I don't know. There's been some whispers, but nothing I'm gonna say.

• 1:38:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay, okay, great.

• 1:38:43Speaker 03

  We'll wait for next year.

• 1:38:44Dax Shepard?

  Well, you guys, I'm so happy for you. It's so hard to end up on a great show and to get to do it for years and years and years.

• 1:38:49Speaker 05

  Should we all be so lucky to be able to do something that an audience responds to, that we enjoy putting together, that we enjoy the company of one another, even now crossing fingers going into season four. And now we have been doing it long enough that there are really wonderful things have happened too. Like, I feel like the five of us have really always had this relationship. And now that sort of like extends to the crew as well. We have now spent so much time with the crew that I feel like a lot of closeness.

• 1:39:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:17Speaker 05

  With them. So should we all be so lucky to have this experience? It's pretty incredible.

• 1:39:22Speaker 03

  I have a near death experience with 10 members of the crew on this season.

• 1:39:25Speaker 02

  What happened?

• 1:39:26Speaker 03

  In the waves.

• 1:39:27Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:39:28Speaker 03

  When we shot the mikvah scene, we were on the beach and I don't know how it wasn't predicted. Well.

• 1:39:40Speaker 03

  You guys know Adam's a merman, right?

• 1:39:42Speaker 04

  Well, we were at Zuma. It was Zuma's, you know, big beach break.

• 1:39:44Speaker 02

  I think there was a discussion of doing it on a stage and Adam was like, they'll know it's not the beach.

• 1:39:48Speaker 03

  They'll know. So you can't do it on a stage.

• 1:39:50Speaker 04

  I didn't say, I don't know that I said that. What I, I don't know that I said that.

• 1:39:53Speaker 03

  You said you cannot do it in a tank.

• 1:39:54Speaker 04

  Zuma's gonna be tough. There's a swell. Unless you can go out beyond and get everyone on a boat and go beyond the break, it's gonna be very hard to do it in like waist deep water when there's like four foot waves.

• 1:40:04Speaker 03

  Right. But I wish you had been at the pre-production meeting because we were getting a lot of this advice after the decisions were made. And you, I know you were very against the tank because you didn't think, you said it wouldn't have the feel of the ocean.

• 1:40:16Speaker 04

  I don't think so. I don't think so.

• 1:40:18Speaker 03

  Adam.

• 1:40:18Speaker 04

  I don't think, I, I might've said, why not just do it at like Paradise Cove?

• 1:40:22Speaker 05

  I just talked about how close we were.

• 1:40:24Speaker 04

  You know, somewhere like there are places to do it that won't have waves. That'll be fine. I don't think I was like hard against the tank. What I was is, those are real waves.

• 1:40:32Speaker 03

  True. I thought you were emotionally against the tank, which I thought was really funny. Because you are a merman and you talk about the waves a lot, but then but, but.

• 1:40:42Speaker 05

  He does talk about the waves a lot.

• 1:40:44Speaker 03

  I had to get in the water for this mikvah and I had to pretend to be nude. So I'm wearing a scuba suit from here down. So I had to go out to at least where my sternum was. And I went out with, I think, nine or 10 crew members and we had one for one stunts with us, which means every person has a stunt person bracing them. And we're out there and there's two angles, one directly facing me and one to the side. And the camera that's facing me could see these eight foot waves cresting behind me. And I'm trying to speak my Hebrew.

• 1:41:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:41:18Speaker 03

  And then dunk myself. Until the wave eventually crashes, just before it's about to crash, all the stunt people start screaming. I get hoisted out of the air by two stunt women who are helping me. Every crew member has a stunt person like pushing them into the sand. Poor Aaron, our A camera operator, was getting pummeled by the waves. Both cameras were underwater. It was mayhem. It was so cold. We finally come in and the director says, okay, we didn't get it. And we were all like, you think? And he was like, we're gonna need to go out again. And I was like, I don't know that we can. We're not gonna get anything better. Somebody's gonna be washed away. What ended up happening is if you see on the show, we did get it because I figured out.

• 1:42:03Speaker 05

  Did you not go out again?

• 1:42:04Speaker 03

  We did.

• 1:42:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:42:05Speaker 03

  I watched the takes really quickly and I saw what Hebrew phrases we did not get.

• 1:42:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:42:10Speaker 03

  And so I adjusted those ones. I said, I'm gonna chop all this up in editing in my head right now. I'm gonna go out for the least amount of time possible. And Silver, our grip, Silver kept screaming every time a wave crashed, you call that a wave? That was our like cue of the day. When you watch the show, you'll notice the only angle they use is the side angle. Because the front on angle, it was horrific to watch was about depressed.

• 1:42:36Dax Shepard?

  I knew the whole behind the scenes until I watched it last night, finished product. And I.

• 1:42:40Speaker 02

  It looks amazing.

• 1:42:41Dax Shepard?

  It looks amazing.

• 1:42:43Speaker 03

  You can tell it's not a tank.

• 1:42:44Speaker 02

  It's worth it.

• 1:42:45Speaker 05

  There is a really.

• 1:42:46Speaker 03

  It is not a tank. Tell it's not a tank. You were right.

• 1:42:49Speaker 04

  I don't remember saying that. Yeah, you probably, I mean, listen, I guess I agree with that sentiment. You would have, you would have.

• 1:42:56Speaker 05

  I did make a very good point all those months ago.

• 1:42:59Speaker 04

  My only point I really remember was, it's kind of too big out there.

• 1:43:02Speaker 03

  Here's what I think I, I really remember you saying when you were talking to Jeff. People can feel the ocean.

• 1:43:09Speaker 02

  I'm pretty sure you said that. I'm pretty sure you said that. I also have to say, when they're on the beach after that, her face is so beautiful because she's been hit with sun.

• 1:43:23Speaker 02

  Like she was like burnt slash tanned. But you looked so beautiful that I'm like, if nothing else, it was worth it for that.

• 1:43:32Dax Shepard?

  Well, I love all four of you. I love the show. It's so good. I hope everyone watches it. October 22nd, it comes out, which I guess right now is a little after.

• 1:43:40Speaker 03

  It's out. You, you should have watched it if you listened to this.

• 1:43:42Dax Shepard?

  There's no way you watch two episodes. There's no way you would talk to someone a week after it came out and they just got through two. Because I blasted through the whole fucking season.

• 1:43:51Speaker 05

  I'm on this show and I blasted through it. I'm not, I think I texted all you guys to be like, I fucking stayed up so late.

• 1:43:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:43:57Speaker 05

  I had to go to bed because I was working the next day. And I still was like, really? Do you want to see how the first half of eight came together? You know what I mean? Like, I really, I really did.

• 1:44:05Speaker 03

  I know. I had a 4 a.m. wake up today in New York and didn't stop me.

• 1:44:09Speaker 02

  Oh, you watched it today?

• 1:44:10Speaker 03

  I watched it last night.

• 1:44:12Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 1:44:13Speaker 03

  It was so good.

• 1:44:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's fantastic. Everyone's gonna be pumped.

• 1:44:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:16Dax Shepard?

  I love you guys. I'll see you next season.

• 1:44:21Speaker 02

  He's an arm care expert. Buddy makes mistakes all the time.

• 1:44:25Dax Shepard?

  Thank God Monica's here. She's gonna let him have the facts. Do you want to start with a movie review?

• 1:44:32Speaker 01

  I saw You Can See Everything. It's unbelievable.

• 1:44:36Dax Shepard?

  This is the Elizabeth Holmes documentary by Nathan Fielder.

• 1:44:39Speaker 01

  And Lance Oppenheim. And it is so shock. It's, it's like so psychologically fascinating. And it's also Nathan Fielder 2.0, in my opinion, and that he's not, like, there are still things that he does that are shock and awe.

• 1:45:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:03Speaker 01

  Elements, but he's not leaning in as hard into like, I'm so awkward. Yes, this character, ironically. He seems more evolved. Man, is it so good. I mean, I cannot stop thinking about it. Everyone I know who's seen it can't stop thinking about it. Everyone's talking about it. There are spoilers, so I'm not gonna say anything.

• 1:45:28Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I'm going on Friday.

• 1:45:30Speaker 01

  Great. Just stay off the internet if you can.

• 1:45:34Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great. Yeah, I know nothing other than the obvious.

• 1:45:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:45:38Dax Shepard?

  He's making a documentary on her before she goes to prison, basically.

• 1:45:40Speaker 01

  Exactly, like the 35 days.

• 1:45:42Dax Shepard?

  Per her request.

• 1:45:43Speaker 01

  Before she goes to prison, per her request. It's kind of two and what's three hours.

• 1:45:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. How'd you do with the time?

• 1:45:50Speaker 01

  It was fine.

• 1:45:51Dax Shepard?

  It was fine.

• 1:45:52Speaker 01

  It was fine. Anthony told me he saw it last week. He saw like the day it came out and he texted me and he said, you need to see this immediately. And he said, it's three hours and I wanted it to be six. And I agree.

• 1:46:04Dax Shepard?

  Okay, very rare. That's quite an endorsement from you.

• 1:46:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:46:08Dax Shepard?

  You wanted it to be six.

• 1:46:10Speaker 01

  Like halfway through, it takes us an interesting turn, I'll say.

• 1:46:14Dax Shepard?

  This is so exciting. It's been a long time since there's been a movie like this out.

• 1:46:16Speaker 01

  I know. And I tried to see it this weekend. I couldn't see it this weekend. It was complete. I was looking at all of the screenings, like in LA.

• 1:46:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:26Speaker 01

  And all sold out except front rows. I almost bought a ticket for the front row. I didn't, which I'm glad.

• 1:46:32Dax Shepard?

  Three hours in the front row.

• 1:46:33Speaker 01

  I know. I'm glad I didn't have to do that. But everyone is seeing this and it's a documentary. It remind, it's like, God, yeah, movies can be so powerful.

• 1:46:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:42Speaker 01

  So powerful. And it is, it is, you need to see this in the movie theater.

• 1:46:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. What book was I reading that talked all about how the day after that scary movie from my youth?

• 1:46:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:55Dax Shepard?

  The day after a nuclear holocaust, it had something crazy, like 60 million Americans watched it or something bizarre. And it completely changed Ronald Reagan's policy.

• 1:47:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:06Dax Shepard?

  On nuclear armament.

• 1:47:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:08Dax Shepard?

  Like this movie that was a made for TV movie changed the course of our armament.

• 1:47:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:13Dax Shepard?

  It can be persuasive.

• 1:47:15Speaker 01

  It can. But, and this doesn't give you a verdict on anything, but it just, what it really does is just open up so many questions about reality and truth and

• 1:47:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:26Speaker 01

  love and

• 1:47:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:29Speaker 01

  difficult people. Oof, man, is it good. It is so good. Yeah, I'm curious of your take. People should watch it so that we can eventually talk about it. I mean, I guess what we can say, which I think is fascinating, when we started this podcast, I think it was 2018, maybe 2019. Billy, who is a main.

• 1:47:54Dax Shepard?

  The husband?

• 1:47:55Speaker 01

  Billy, the husband.

• 1:47:56Dax Shepard?

  Was it that long ago? I thought it was way more recent.

• 1:47:58Speaker 01

  No, it was a long time ago.

• 1:48:00Dax Shepard?

  It was.

• 1:48:01Speaker 01

  Yes. Billy, the husband, Elizabeth Holmes, I don't even know if they're married, but yes, partner, they have a family. He reached out to us in a like kind of crazy way. I remember it was

• 1:48:15Dax Shepard?

  It felt scammy.

• 1:48:15Speaker 01

  We thought we were being scammed, but he reached out to see if they could come on, I think, or just her.

• 1:48:23Dax Shepard?

  She or they.

• 1:48:24Speaker 01

  Or them, yeah. And we were like, I don't think this is real. And then we were like, isn't she like on house arrest, which I think she was?

• 1:48:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:48:33Speaker 01

  So we were very confused. We didn't really believe it. And then

• 1:48:35Dax Shepard?

  And then it got to a point where we were gonna perhaps schedule a Zoom with him.

• 1:48:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:48:40Dax Shepard?

  And then I, I don't know if you, this is your memory of it, but my memory is I all of a sudden went, this is a zero win for me personally, because I think she's a liar and I'm gonna have to confront her lying. And then it's gonna be an episode where for an hour and a half, I confront someone's lying. And I don't think that's what Armcherry's wanna hear. And I don't think that's a role anyone wants me to. They don't want me to be hard hitting.

• 1:49:05Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:49:06Dax Shepard?

  Destroy someone's fake reality.

• 1:49:09Speaker 01

  Well, yeah. So, so he sent us a picture, I have it, of him proving himself. Oh, my God.

• 1:49:17Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:49:18Speaker 01

  Whoa, this, whoa.

• 1:49:20Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God. Wait. Okay, I'm gonna read this.

• 1:49:22Speaker 01

  Okay, now Rob has pulled up an email.

• 1:49:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, this is like a real time investigation. Tell Dax plus Monica, I appreciate their congratulations. I don't know.

• 1:49:31Speaker 01

  I don't know what we had congratulated on.

• 1:49:32Dax Shepard?

  But unfortunately, my patience has run thin. I am uncomfortable zooming with an anonymous assistant on the matter. We take our privacy very seriously and at this point, I have no idea who you are or why you can be trusted. We have been silent for seven years and sharing intimate details with you is not a risk I'm willing to take. If they are interested in speaking, they're welcome to reach out directly, but I will no longer email back and forth with you on the matter. It's going to have to require some trust on their side, which is so funny because they reached out.

• 1:50:05Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:50:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, we hadn't reached out to them.

• 1:50:07Speaker 01

  Best wishes, Billy. If you've seen this movie, this just gave me chills. When you see it, you're gonna be like.

• 1:50:13Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, I can't wait.

• 1:50:16Dax Shepard?

  It felt cuckoo. It felt, it felt so unhinged, the whole process.

• 1:50:19Speaker 01

  But he sent us a picture of him proving that it was him. And but he's holding this weird sign that is confusing. Like, all of it is, was so strange. And partly, now I'm remembering, I think when we saw that, we were like, well, fuck this. No, if you will not talk to Emma or Rob or whoever and prove that it's you, then we're not doing this.

• 1:50:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:40Speaker 01

  So we didn't.

• 1:50:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:41Speaker 01

  And it was him. It was him.

• 1:50:46Speaker 01

  It's funny, there's the picture that he sent us proving himself. There's a poster in the background and like you, you see that in the film.

• 1:50:52Dax Shepard?

  In the movie. Oh, wow.

• 1:50:53Speaker 01

  All to say, it's very interesting now in retrospect, because they clearly, for a very long time, since we got that.

• 1:51:04Dax Shepard?

  What, what was the date of that email, Rob?

• 1:51:05Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Good question. This was March 2023. Oh, God, you're right.

• 1:51:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I thought it was semi-recently.

• 1:51:14Speaker 01

  Oh, my head, it was, okay.

• 1:51:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, 2023.

• 1:51:17Speaker 01

  So she was, but she was convicted in 2018. Whoa, 2023.

• 1:51:25Dax Shepard?

  I think I had just seen a doc about her.

• 1:51:28Speaker 01

  There was a big doc that came out about her and a very big book that came out about her.

• 1:51:32Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:51:32Speaker 01

  Okay, this actually makes sense, because at this point, the narrative around her is very, very, very poor.

• 1:51:38Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh. Yeah, it's not favorable.

• 1:51:40Speaker 01

  Clearly, their goal was to

• 1:51:44Dax Shepard?

  Rebrand?

• 1:51:45Speaker 01

  Share their side of the story, create the narrative.

• 1:51:49Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:51:49Speaker 01

  Um, I mean, they didn't say that to us, but now in retrospect and having seen the movie, that's what they were trying to do there. That's why they invited Nathan to do this documentary. They brought him in specifically, they even say in the movie, because he thinks outside the box.

• 1:52:04Dax Shepard?

  That's another thing.

• 1:52:05Speaker 01

  I definitely, but I think they thought he

• 1:52:09Dax Shepard?

  If anyone would get them.

• 1:52:10Speaker 01

  He would get them and he would be more endeared or like want to show a positive view. And by, and so it makes total sense to me why he reached out to come on our show. Because we do show, we show human beings in full. So even if we had her on and even if we did question her, we would have probably shown like a side that people would have liked.

• 1:52:33Dax Shepard?

  Yes, we would have seen a human side of her, which is something I hope we do well. But something I didn't know if I wanna do on her behalf.

• 1:52:42Speaker 01

  Well, it just is so interesting. It's like, whoa, we, it could have been us. Like, we could have been manipulated or not, I don't know.

• 1:52:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:52Speaker 01

  Um, fascinating.

• 1:52:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:55Speaker 01

  So fascinating. See the movie. It's

• 1:52:59Dax Shepard?

  Don't tell anyone what you saw.

• 1:53:00Speaker 01

  I hope it, I hope it gets, I know there's like rules or whatever, but I hope it gets nominated for Best Picture.

• 1:53:07Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 1:53:09Speaker 01

  Anywho, um.

• 1:53:10Dax Shepard?

  Wow, I'm so excited.

• 1:53:12Speaker 01

  It's fantastic.

• 1:53:12Dax Shepard?

  Be excited to see a movie.

• 1:53:13Speaker 01

  It is. Do you have any, do you do anything this weekend that was interesting?

• 1:53:18Dax Shepard?

  Well, I had some hijinks yesterday. We have five episodes this week and yesterday we had off. So I was like, oh, great. I have a day off. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go see a movie. Maybe I'm gonna go out to eat. Maybe I'll go to lunch with somebody, whatever. So then I'm like, okay, but let me get some editing done first. So I worked out, then I was editing and I'm in the middle of editing and there's a knock at the door and it's Carly, my sister. And she's like, do you know where Frank is? That's our dog.

• 1:53:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:53:46Dax Shepard?

  And I'm like, no, I'm up here editing. She's like, he's nowhere in the house. And I'm like, okay, so then I go in the house. I look everywhere in the house. Then I go, oh, he's got an air tag. Let's get that. I get Kristen to share the air tag with me. It's not coming up. It's not, I don't know why, it's not being seen. So then I get on a dirt bike and I ride all around the neighborhood. I'm going up people's driveway. I mean, I'm snooping around everyone's place. Because again, to the listener who don't live in California, there's coyotes everywhere. Like, it's not, a dog can't wander around that way for hours and be fine.

• 1:54:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:24Dax Shepard?

  So I do a very thorough sweep of our neighborhood. And then I'm like, fuck. And then I'm also thinking like, hold on a second. The gate only opened twice a day when I walked Delta to school and then when Lincoln walked to school. And I'm like, could he have gotten out then? No, he would have been following us. And same with Lincoln, he would have been following. And then I'm like, okay, the gardeners are here mowing the lawn. You know, maybe they saw.

• 1:54:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:54:48Dax Shepard?

  So I asked the gardeners, like, hey, do you see the white dog? This is, has nothing to do with anything other than I'm shocked at this. Antonio, my lovely, that I've known now for 15 years, he was at the old house. I said, hey, do you guys see the white dog? I text when you're mowing. And then he called me and he's like, oh, I wasn't there, but I talked to the guys. Are you talking about Frank?

• 1:55:09Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:55:09Dax Shepard?

  And I'm like, I can't believe he knows our dogs. But of course, I don't know. That shocked me.

• 1:55:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz he, yeah.

• 1:55:14Dax Shepard?

  He goes, no, we didn't see Frank. We saw Whiskey. He knew Whiskey's name. He's like, we

• 1:55:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not surprised.

• 1:55:19Dax Shepard?

  Whiskey in the window.

• 1:55:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:55:21Dax Shepard?

  I was just so touched by that. That's a side note.

• 1:55:24Speaker 01

  Touching, but I think, yeah, people feel connected when they

• 1:55:27Dax Shepard?

  Of a dog if I mow.

• 1:55:29Speaker 01

  I'm sure if you were there all the

• 1:55:31Dax Shepard?

  Once a week.

• 1:55:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:32Dax Shepard?

  At any rate, I then get in the car and now

• 1:55:35Speaker 01

  He didn't see him.

• 1:55:36Dax Shepard?

  And they did not see Frank. They saw Whiskey in the windows, they told me.

• 1:55:39Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:55:39Dax Shepard?

  And now I'm driving around everywhere in Feelless. It's not like me searching for that fricking recycling box.

• 1:55:46Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:55:47Dax Shepard?

  Right. I'm going down every single street.

• 1:55:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:50Dax Shepard?

  And I'm annoying people because I'm driving slow and I'm slowing down in intersections. It's a whole thing. And at some point, and then meanwhile, Carly is like calling the pound, doing all those things. And after an hour of this, I go, well, look, man, there's no dead dogs anywhere. I've driven every street in the area.

• 1:56:09Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:56:09Dax Shepard?

  Thank God I don't see any dead dogs on the road. That's good.

• 1:56:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:14Dax Shepard?

  Two, we live in a very dog friendly city. If he was out, someone would have definitely grabbed him and probably is now trying to find out where he belongs.

• 1:56:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, but he is not gonna do well to being grabbed.

• 1:56:25Dax Shepard?

  He's not.

• 1:56:25Speaker 01

  He's not.

• 1:56:26Dax Shepard?

  He's like Sean Penn. I make it hard for you guys to like me.

• 1:56:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:31Dax Shepard?

  All I'm thinking about is how on earth, when the girls get home from school, am I gonna tell them this? Like, I can't even imagine how long it'd be before Lincoln was okay if Frank disappeared, right?

• 1:56:45Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 1:56:46Dax Shepard?

  So I'm just like living in like, oh my God, oh my God, I'm gonna have to tell them this.

• 1:56:52Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

• 1:56:59Dax Shepard?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner, BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, but you don't need a day on the calendar to give yourself permission to talk to someone. I've been in therapy for a long time and the stuff rattling around in my head always just quiets down the second I say it out loud. And it doesn't have to be some big life crisis. Maybe it's a work thing that's taking up too much space or hard relationship moment, or just a feeling that something's off. That's enough. That's worth talking about.

• 1:57:36Speaker 01

  You know, I love therapy more than anything. Gets me through. Often I'll want to cancel because I'm like, I don't really have anything to talk about. And then I'll go and I have some major revelation.

• 1:57:48Dax Shepard?

  You know, I was just talking to a friend who has just started it and I said, one of the most powerful elements of it is just hearing yourself say out loud the thing that's been ruminating in your head and how different it sounds once it's out into the world. You gain perspective immediately just by hearing yourself say it.

• 1:58:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do.

• 1:58:03Dax Shepard?

  If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don't have insurance or live outside the US? You can still get 10% off your first month. Do yourself a favor and just try it. Future you will be grateful. Visit betterhelp.com/dax to explore your payment options. That's better H E L P dot com slash DAX.

• 1:58:38Dax Shepard?

  Anyways, uh, at three o'clock, Carly sends me a picture.

• 1:58:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:58:44Dax Shepard?

  Of Frank smiling.

• 1:58:46Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:58:47Dax Shepard?

  Do you know in our upstairs, at the top of the stairs, there is a medicine cabinet. There's a cat, there's a, there's a cabinet. It's like floor to ceiling doors, but it's very shallow. It's a built in closet.

• 1:58:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:58:58Dax Shepard?

  But it's a very shallow closet and we just put medicine in there.

• 1:59:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:02Dax Shepard?

  Mind you, we were in the house screaming his name forever and he never barked. All this dog does is fucking bark, but he was not barking at all.

• 1:59:09Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:59:10Dax Shepard?

  And I don't even know why Carly went. How did he get in there? Because of course I asked the girls, like, do you remember shutting the medicine cabinet?

• 1:59:19Speaker 01

  But how did he even get up there?

• 1:59:21Dax Shepard?

  Well, he's laying on the ground.

• 1:59:23Speaker 01

  Oh, it's the under part?

• 1:59:24Dax Shepard?

  It's floor to ceiling. So he's on the ground, but in this crazy shallow closet. Where he has been for, I don't know, five hours?

• 1:59:33Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:59:35Dax Shepard?

  That's a fed him. That was the last time anyone saw him is when she fed him in the morning. He's in a fucking closet. I'm like, how long, how many days could have gone by? Everybody's going there to get medicine. There's bones in there.

• 1:59:48Speaker 01

  No. Oh, my God. Yeah.

• 1:59:51Dax Shepard?

  I don't know why he wasn't barking.

• 1:59:53Speaker 01

  Also can't, he could have probably come out because, because he could have just pushed his way out.

• 1:59:58Dax Shepard?

  Push on doors. Maybe he shut himself in there. Maybe he needed a little downtime to get away from whiskey.

• 2:00:03Speaker 01

  I bet it smelled like Kristen in there and he wanted to like, really like, you know, so fat.

• 2:00:08Dax Shepard?

  It smelled like medicine.

• 2:00:10Speaker 01

  Notoriously. Yeah.

• 2:00:12Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God. So what a relief. But needless to say, my big day of like.

• 2:00:15Speaker 01

  Good job Carly looked in there.

• 2:00:18Dax Shepard?

  In the amount of emotional distress duress that Carly went through.

• 2:00:24Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:00:24Dax Shepard?

  And then of course, Kristen, who's in New York doing press, who finds out Frank. So she, I don't even know. Yeah. And she can't even help. So I'm sure that's its own.

• 2:00:32Speaker 01

  Sure. What if Kristen was like, have you checked the medicine cabinet?

• 2:00:36Dax Shepard?

  I wish she had.

• 2:00:38Speaker 01

  Wow. Well, this is a ding ding ding sim. I guess like, keep an eye on your animals. There's something in the air where animals are finding themselves in weird situations. Because we, our friends, Molly and Eric, have a, have all these tortoises. They have multiple tortoises. It's part of Eric's wacky brain.

• 2:01:02Dax Shepard?

  We're telling why.

• 2:01:03Speaker 01

  Okay, you can.

• 2:01:04Dax Shepard?

  Back, back when Eric was a drug addict.

• 2:01:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:01:06Dax Shepard?

  One of the ways his paranoia would manifest itself is he was like, kind of a prepper. He was convinced there was going to be apocalypse. So he did everything one could do. He has got a shed with, I think, like, I don't know, 50,000 MRE, like rations, military rations. And then he was reading some book and it talked about how sailors in the 1700s would stop at the Galapagos and they would pick up a giant tortoise. Because it'd be a thousand pounds of meat that could live on the ship. And if they were ever shipwrecked, they could eat the tortoise. So then he decides, oh my God, I gotta get tortoises.

• 2:01:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. He was high when he made this decision.

• 2:01:40Dax Shepard?

  All these decisions were made at 3:00 AM.

• 2:01:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:01:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. In his outdoor office. So then he, he intended to buy, I wish he was here to tell the story. He intended to buy like a couple.

• 2:01:53Speaker 01

  Let's call him.

• 2:01:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, let's call him.

• 2:01:55Speaker 05

  Hey, Monty.

• 2:01:56Speaker 01

  Hi, buddy. You're on the pod.

• 2:01:59Speaker 05

  Oh, boy.

• 2:02:02Speaker 01

  We're telling the story of, of Tomato.

• 2:02:06Speaker 05

  Ah.

• 2:02:07Dax Shepard?

  But we want, we thought it required, why do you even have tortoises? And I'm at the point where you read the book where the sailors would have a tortoise.

• 2:02:16Speaker 05

  Right. Well, I think it originates from like, uh, I mean, I was still using drugs when I.

• 2:02:25Dax Shepard?

  We made that abundantly clear. Yeah. Paranoid and thinking the apocalypse is coming.

• 2:02:29Speaker 05

  Yeah. And this guy came to me and he's like, hey, I'll sell you these other tortoises for, you know, uh, I'll give you a good deal on if you buy 11 of them. And I, you know, uh, why not? And he said, he said that they'd start breed, I could, I could breed them and then he'd pay me a thousand dollars for the babies.

• 2:02:50Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:02:51Speaker 05

  Um, so I thought maybe I could have like a tortoise for him, but then, um, I, I read, you know, later, it turns out they don't breed until they're 30s. So.

• 2:03:00Speaker 01

  Oh, shit. Okay.

• 2:03:02Speaker 05

  They're currently 20. So I've got another 10 years.

• 2:03:06Speaker 01

  So they were baby babies?

• 2:03:08Speaker 05

  They were little babies. Yeah.

• 2:03:11Dax Shepard?

  And, and quickly, Eric, if you had to ballpark, how much you've invested over the 20 years in these to eventually get a thousand dollars per baby? Where are we at, Matt?

• 2:03:22Speaker 05

  Yeah. I mean, it's like, I mean, they eat a thousand dollars worth of food a month.

• 2:03:27Speaker 05

  That's, that's been fifty, uh, you know, yeah, 20 years. So just figure that out. I mean, that's, uh, it is a disaster. And then I got, you know, somebody helped me take, take care of them. And then I had to build caves for them. You have to build these big caves and they have to be able to get in there when it rains and they have to be able to, um, not get wet. So then the problem was, is a couple of them died of pneumonia. I wasn't sure why. And then I figured, we figured out, oh, um, when it rains, when the power goes out, then, uh, they don't have warmth. So if it's cold down there, so I had to buy two of those Tesla battery wall packs to only back up the tortoise.

• 2:04:13Speaker 05

  I have a love hate relationship with these things for, you know, and there's so much responsibility because they're like beautiful creatures.

• 2:04:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:04:20Speaker 05

  And, you know, you can't just, uh, you know, half ass own them. So.

• 2:04:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:04:25Dax Shepard?

  They're around two to 300 pounds?

• 2:04:27Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think the bigger one's like three something and the smallest one's probably 225 or something.

• 2:04:34Speaker 01

  How big were they when you got them, Eric? Like, how much did they weigh as babies?

• 2:04:38Speaker 05

  They were like the size of a, you know, your hand.

• 2:04:41Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't realize they were that small.

• 2:04:47Speaker 05

  Yeah. And that was like, we had four of us over here trying to move Tomato when he got found. And you couldn't even, four of us can't carry him. I mean, you have to. Like kind of move them and then he'll crawl a little bit and then he'll decide to go the other way and then you have to move his head and then he's like figure out how to go down the stairs finally, but.

• 2:05:06Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Yeah. Tell people, can you tell people what happened?

• 2:05:09Speaker 05

  Well, he, uh, my, my, the Felipe, the, the gardener said, one of the tortoises got, uh, stolen. And, um, I'm like, well, you know, they're at the bottom of this hill and, uh, I'm like, well, that'd be pretty tough for him to get stolen.

• 2:05:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:05:27Speaker 05

  You know, we looked, I looked everywhere for it and I could not find, uh, Tomato. And, um, so I was gonna go to the police station and report him, uh, a stolen tortoise. But Molly, in her infinite wisdom, uh, went out there and she, she searched and, and she, she found him. He's right next to the sauna. And every Dax is like, he's in your backyard.

• 2:05:50Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:05:51Speaker 05

  There's no way anybody took your frigging tortoise.

• 2:05:53Speaker 01

  That's how I felt. I was like, they would have to bring a moving truck.

• 2:05:57Dax Shepard?

  A crane.

• 2:05:58Speaker 05

  Right.

• 2:05:58Speaker 01

  And so many people, like, who could lift this three hundred and something pound tortoise? And without people noticing.

• 2:06:05Dax Shepard?

  Up the steepest hill in Los Angeles.

• 2:06:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:06:09Speaker 05

  Yeah. And then you'd have to, they'd have to carry it like a half a mile. So it's like, no. Um, but, but literally I, I spent hours looking for him. The problem is their shells kind of blend in with some of the rocks and it's, uh.

• 2:06:22Dax Shepard?

  You even put Pepe on the case.

• 2:06:24Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, like if she'd sniff and bark.

• 2:06:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:06:26Speaker 05

  She wasn't, you know, she's getting older. So maybe she's off her game a little bit.

• 2:06:30Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. And he like, he had climbed, he climbed up a like ladder.

• 2:06:37Speaker 05

  A hundred stairs. No, that ladder was in the picture that Molly, Molly saw and Kristen said, oh, well, he climbed up the ladder.

• 2:06:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, she was joking.

• 2:06:46Speaker 05

  Uh, no, I know she was joking.

• 2:06:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was funny. But I, I too was like, how did he climb? How? I mean.

• 2:06:53Speaker 05

  He got, there's another way under the deck that he got to by going up like a hundred stairs.

• 2:06:59Speaker 01

  Oh, my.

• 2:06:59Speaker 05

  And then he got under the deck and then eventually got himself stuck underneath where the sauna is. And then he like broke out, like, there's these metal bars that are holding up the, uh, the deck and the electricity box. And he's so, they're so strong. I mean, we, there's like four of us trying to get him just to turn around. And he's like, it's just like a three hundred pound muscle and he fights you. And, uh, but, uh, yeah, but they went, you know, the, the sailors used to eat them, um, to take fresh meat on the voyages. And same with the Galapagos tortoises. I mean, these are called Aldabra, but, um, they, uh, the sailors ate them and then they became, you

• 2:07:40Speaker 05

  know, rarer. And, uh, you know, because they can't, they don't really want to, like, you can't bring cows on a, uh, I guess you could, but it's hard to bring cows on a, on a sailing boat in.

• 2:07:50Dax Shepard?

  Well, also you gotta feed a cow and those things can go a year without eating, right?

• 2:07:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, they can go a year without eating. Exactly. And, you know, we cooked one up once, uh, and made some tortoise soup.

• 2:08:01Speaker 01

  You did not.

• 2:08:05Speaker 05

  The right spices.

• 2:08:06Dax Shepard?

  I'd rather die than eat, than sustain off a tortoise meat.

• 2:08:10Speaker 05

  And it's nice because you make it, you use their shell, you turn it upside down and you make this, you cook the stew and that.

• 2:08:16Dax Shepard?

  That's the presentation. It's a kitchen.

• 2:08:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:08:20Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 2:08:23Dax Shepard?

  Well, the whole country is, uh, breathe a sigh of relief that Tomato.

• 2:08:28Speaker 01

  Tomato was found. Thank God. It was really.

• 2:08:32Speaker 05

  Happy.

• 2:08:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was really scary for a second. I thought it was, I actually thought it was super telling of the way everyone immediately reacted. So you, you, Eric, thought he was stolen. Dax thought he was dead. He's gonna say he didn't, but he did say, I think.

• 2:08:46Dax Shepard?

  Well, I said, you're gonna find him once you start smelling something on your property.

• 2:08:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, Dax thought he was dead. And I thought, what did I?

• 2:08:53Dax Shepard?

  He was out for a walk.

• 2:08:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, I think he went. Like, I think he went out and he's, but he, it's very telling.

• 2:09:01Dax Shepard?

  You thought he went shopping?

• 2:09:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, he went to the mall.

• 2:09:05Speaker 05

  I mean, Felipe's the one, he's the, you know, he's very capable and he is the super like, like nice, honest guy. And he was, he told me it got stolen and I went, Felipe thinks it got stolen. It must've got stolen because he never, he thinks the best about everybody. But he's looked for, for hour, for, uh, for him for hours too.

• 2:09:25Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:09:26Speaker 05

  So. And then I had to have a talk with the girls. I'm like, I'm like, little doll, we gotta, you know, we gotta talk because we can't have, if I, if we can't keep these tortoises safe. I mean, we've tried with the Tesla wall chargers and the.

• 2:09:40Dax Shepard?

  Armed security guards.

• 2:09:41Speaker 05

  Yeah. And you gotta be so careful with the food because you can't, you gotta make sure there's no like rubber band in it or, uh, you know, those little wires. Cause if they eat one of those wires, they, they'll die. So it's like, uh, so, so I'm like, we gotta, I think we're gonna have to give them, you know, to a zoo or something.

• 2:09:57Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:09:58Dax Shepard?

  Eric, if it makes you feel any better, this came up because Frank was missing yesterday for six hours and it turned out he was stuck in a closet.

• 2:10:06Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:10:07Speaker 01

  I was like, what's happening with the animals right now? There's like maybe mercuries and retrograde for the animals.

• 2:10:15Speaker 05

  Yeah. I mean, we're all so obsessed with our pets. I mean, you know, we're, we're, uh, you know, when we're on vacation, you know, Dax will tell you, half the time we're talking about what's Peachy and Piffy doing. And we have the house sitters send us pictures.

• 2:10:27Speaker 01

  I know. It's really cute. Yeah. Poor Tomato. Well, I'm so glad he was found. Oh, and just seeing, just so people know, his name wasn't Tomato until all this happened.

• 2:10:38Dax Shepard?

  That's right. Cause to make a poster.

• 2:10:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna name him and I'm gonna put some, some chalk on him or something. They're, they're just really hard to tell apart. I mean, they don't, they don't particularly have personalities, you know? I mean, they.

• 2:10:51Speaker 01

  Well, he does. He's a, he's a rascal.

• 2:10:54Speaker 05

  He's a rascal. And he was actually crying to like get out again, Felipe said the other day. So I don't know. I was thinking maybe there's two of them that, that they put their heads, their heads together, like they lay their heads on each other.

• 2:11:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, snuggle.

• 2:11:09Speaker 05

  And I was, I was thinking maybe those are gonna hook up and maybe they're a mating pair. And Tomato is getting like, you know.

• 2:11:18Speaker 01

  Jealous.

• 2:11:19Speaker 05

  On the house. He didn't find a mate. So maybe he was, you know.

• 2:11:23Dax Shepard?

  I mean, he was looking for a mate. Yeah.

• 2:11:26Speaker 05

  That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

• 2:11:27Speaker 01

  Oh, no. You need to get a new one.

• 2:11:30Speaker 05

  I need to buy some more.

• 2:11:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:11:32Speaker 05

  Tomato can have a, uh, a mate.

• 2:11:33Speaker 01

  Partner. Yeah. It can be cherry, cherry and tomato.

• 2:11:40Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Cherry tomato.

• 2:11:43Dax Shepard?

  Well, we love you.

• 2:11:43Speaker 01

  Yes, we love you. Thanks for sharing that story.

• 2:11:46Speaker 05

  I love you guys. See you, Dad. Talk soon.

• 2:11:48Speaker 01

  Bye. God, what a man. Um.

• 2:11:51Dax Shepard?

  What a zany life he has.

• 2:11:52Speaker 01

  I know, I know. But really, it was scary. I think I did at one point, I was like, he did what these animals do. They go to die on their own.

• 2:12:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you thought it was like.

• 2:12:03Speaker 01

  Like what?

• 2:12:04Dax Shepard?

  The gramp.

• 2:12:05Speaker 01

  Like what Lola did.

• 2:12:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 2:12:06Speaker 01

  And then I did say, did you check the pool?

• 2:12:10Speaker 01

  Which you, they did check the pool and he wasn't in there. Yeah.

• 2:12:14Dax Shepard?

  First.

• 2:12:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um, all right. Well, we'll end on this happy note.

• 2:12:19Dax Shepard?

  Tomato's been found. Frank's been found.

• 2:12:21Speaker 01

  Frank's been found. Um, but we have some facts. This is for, nobody wants this episode. I hope everyone's watched it by now. I'm sure you have. Great show.

• 2:12:31Dax Shepard?

  Great season.

• 2:12:32Speaker 01

  Great season. Okay. I looked up how many bodies fit in the T R L space.

• 2:12:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, great.

• 2:12:39Speaker 01

  Okay. The original MTV Total Request Live studio in Times Square, New York City was a famous floor to ceiling glass windowed street level space that looked out over Times Square. For 2017 revival, MTV upgraded to an eighty seven hundred square foot multifunctional studio that kept the original footprint while adding massive digital screens, two performance stages and room for a two hundred plus person audience.

• 2:13:04Dax Shepard?

  That's the update.

• 2:13:05Speaker 01

  That was updated after you guys went there.

• 2:13:07Dax Shepard?

  I was there in oh, three.

• 2:13:09Speaker 01

  Okay, so.

• 2:13:11Dax Shepard?

  I think it was about.

• 2:13:12Speaker 01

  In twenty.

• 2:13:13Dax Shepard?

  Thousand square feet.

• 2:13:15Speaker 01

  It says in two thousand and three, the iconic MTV Total Request Live Studio, officially known as the Uptown Studio, located on the second floor of One Astro Plaza in Times Square, spanned roughly six thousand to six, six to five hundred square feet of usable production space.

• 2:13:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, most of it was control room, green room, bathrooms.

• 2:13:35Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. It says, because of the tight spacing, the live studio audience was limited to about fifty to a hundred screaming teenagers packed onto a set of small bleachers or tightly clustered around the main stages.

• 2:13:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Fifty people's kinda.

• 2:13:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. I love that show.

• 2:13:51Dax Shepard?

  Did you?

• 2:13:52Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I was obsessed with it.

• 2:13:54Dax Shepard?

  I just was on it.

• 2:13:54Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Every time I came home, that's what you watch when you got home from school, T R L.

• 2:13:59Dax Shepard?

  Cartoons before school, T R L after school.

• 2:14:01Speaker 01

  I wasn't into cartoons, but, uh, Say By The Bell and stuff like that before school and then T R L after school. And Ba With Tabah was number one for so long, Kid Rock. And I remember, and I hated it so much. And I was always pretty mad that it was number one for that long.

• 2:14:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:14:20Speaker 01

  And then also Nookie.

• 2:14:23Dax Shepard?

  That's Limp Bizkit?

• 2:14:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was also number one and number two.

• 2:14:27Dax Shepard?

  Like aggro, uh.

• 2:14:28Speaker 01

  It was.

• 2:14:29Dax Shepard?

  Spell.

• 2:14:30Speaker 01

  It was. Um, but like, do people watch music videos anymore?

• 2:14:36Dax Shepard?

  I don't think really.

• 2:14:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, except people watch the new Taylor Swift one. See, she cut right through.

• 2:14:42Dax Shepard?

  But again, if you're gonna see them, you just go on YouTube.

• 2:14:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true. I guess maybe people are watching them on YouTube.

• 2:14:47Dax Shepard?

  I don't think, but I, certainly what's different is it was standard with your recording contract, you were gonna do videos to get on MTV because that's where you're gonna get your promotion. I don't think now it's standard. You do videos. They, they might wanna do a video or they might have such a great song or it's artist driven, but I don't.

• 2:15:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:15:03Dax Shepard?

  It's not like that was a standard bit of promotion back then and now it's not.

• 2:15:07Speaker 01

  I know. Like, young people aren't even gonna know about music videos. They might not know. It would be normal if they didn't know.

• 2:15:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, my kids have a, they've shown me a few videos.

• 2:15:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:15:17Dax Shepard?

  Here and there.

• 2:15:18Speaker 01

  Um.

• 2:15:19Dax Shepard?

  On YouTube.

• 2:15:20Speaker 01

  When is Sweetest Day? This was Sim.

• 2:15:23Dax Shepard?

  Was it on Sweetest Day we were talking about?

• 2:15:25Speaker 01

  Well, it's, it's the third Saturday of October.

• 2:15:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 2:15:31Speaker 01

  Was this last Saturday.

• 2:15:34Dax Shepard?

  Days before we recorded.

• 2:15:37Speaker 01

  Um.

• 2:15:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that was right. I, I had looked it up while you guys were talking about it. That's kinda crazy.

• 2:15:42Speaker 01

  After we recorded.

• 2:15:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, days after.

• 2:15:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, but.

• 2:15:45Dax Shepard?

  The following Saturday.

• 2:15:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. Crazy.

• 2:15:47Dax Shepard?

  That is crazy.

• 2:15:48Speaker 01

  Always the third Saturday in October, most popular in the midwestern United States, like Ohio, Michigan and Illinois and parts of the Northeast. Started in Cleveland, Ohio in nineteen twenty one, when local candy makers distributed sweets to orphans, the elderly and the needy.

• 2:16:04Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's nice.

• 2:16:06Speaker 01

  That's nice.

• 2:16:07Dax Shepard?

  I don't know how it got co-. Opted for lovers.

• 2:16:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, the lovers tend to do that. Um, Stanley's Restaurant, still there? So that was the place you were gonna propose? Because is that where you said you had your first date? Or you guys just liked going there?

• 2:16:22Dax Shepard?

  That's the first time I said I love you was at that restaurant.

• 2:16:25Speaker 01

  Okay, because Kristen just said on, um, press that Firefly was your first date. That's a restaurant in the valley also.

• 2:16:35Dax Shepard?

  And it wasn't even really a date. It was like, do you want to come hang with me, Ryan, Jet? You know, it was like eight people and they would hang out there.

• 2:16:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:16:42Dax Shepard?

  Virtually every night, I think.

• 2:16:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like their Cara.

• 2:16:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I think I left an AA meeting and met up at that thing.

• 2:16:48Speaker 01

  Hmm, yeah, I, um, I was saying this the other day. I was like, why are there so many rules around dating? Like, you know, because for a second I was like, can't we just have group dates a lot more?

• 2:17:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:17:05Speaker 01

  Is this whole thing of like, okay, and you gotta make this whole plan? And you gotta meet at this time.

• 2:17:10Dax Shepard?

  Sit across from each other awkwardly.

• 2:17:12Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly. It's like, that's not really real life for one. I mean, eventually it is, but it's not conducive to showing your true self, I don't think.

• 2:17:23Dax Shepard?

  It's a kind of a forced.

• 2:17:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:17:26Dax Shepard?

  Situation.

• 2:17:26Speaker 01

  I think I'm pro.

• 2:17:28Dax Shepard?

  Group hangs.

• 2:17:29Speaker 01

  Group hangs and maybe even just for the first one.

• 2:17:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:17:33Speaker 01

  Group it up.

• 2:17:34Dax Shepard?

  The problem is, that's easy to do if you have mutual friends.

• 2:17:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:17:37Dax Shepard?

  But if you meet someone at the bowling alley.

• 2:17:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:17:40Dax Shepard?

  I don't know if anyone meets there, probably not, but.

• 2:17:43Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:17:44Dax Shepard?

  I guess people meet everywhere they meet.

• 2:17:46Speaker 01

  Everywhere.

• 2:17:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:17:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, I, or it's like you bring your friend, I'll bring my friend.

• 2:17:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:17:53Speaker 01

  And then it's four people.

• 2:17:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's the premise of Goodfellas. Joe Pesci's gonna go on a date with a girl, but that girl is not allowed to go without her friend. So he's gotta have Ray Leo to come. And then, of course, those two end up getting married. They hate each other at first, but then they get married.

• 2:18:08Speaker 01

  This happens.

• 2:18:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is a huge statement, given the canon. It's, I think for sure, Scorsese's best movie.

• 2:18:16Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:18:16Dax Shepard?

  It's fucking perfect. What a movie. What a movie.

• 2:18:19Speaker 01

  Ding ding ding, movies.

• 2:18:20Dax Shepard?

  Movies, TV, film and television.

• 2:18:22Speaker 01

  Entertainment. Um, okay, that's it, love you.

• 2:18:41Dax Shepard?

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