Mom's Car: Guy Stevenson

On this week’s episode of Mom’s Car we welcome Guy Stevenson (MADtv, Reno 911!, Punk’d). Guy, Dax, and Best Friend Aaron Weakley talk through competing for alpha status at the Groundlings, Dax’s decades-long boxing lie, getting sober in the Marines, bouncing at Jumbo’s Clown Room, the making of Dax’s all-time favorite sketch, asking a heart surgeon for a wolf upgrade, and a motorcycle road trip neither Dax nor Aaron was brave enough to cancel. Check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds: https://www.allstate.com/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome to Mom's Car. I'm Dax.

• 0:02Speaker 01

  I'm Sharon Beasley.

• 0:03Dax Shepard?

  And I'm Sharon Shepherd. And today, uh, my good friend Guy Stevenson, who, uh, I met in the Groundlings. And if you've listened to any of the podcasts, I often tell the story of his sketch he wrote, which is my favorite all time sketchy. Also, if you remember, is a person I lied to and said I had trained at the Kronk Gym. So please enjoy Guy Stevenson. This episode is brought to you by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the dress code at the new restaurant, showing up in sandals and getting turned away at the door. No fun at all. Yeah, checking first is always a good move. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds.

• 0:44Dax Shepard?

  You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We are supported by Uber Eats. Boom, boom, boom. In need of groceries? Uber Eats has you covered. From last minute ingredients to weekly essentials, get groceries delivered in as little as 25 minutes with Uber Eats. Get groceries delivered with Uber Eats. Terms apply. See app for details. Now let's get into the show.

• 1:30Dax Shepard?

  So what were your favorite new wave bands?

• 1:32Speaker 02

  The big ones like Depeche Mode and The Cure and stuff like that were the big ones.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  We've been listening to a lot of that at home, my wife and I. Eighties new wave is her new thing to play. Cause we don't like each other's music so much.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  That's the middle ground?

• 1:45Speaker 01

  Yep. And we both like it a lot.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  Like Devo and the B-52s. And I was into punk as well.

• 1:53Dax Shepard?

  Any Smiths?

• 1:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love the Smiths.

• 1:55Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure. Any New Order?

• 1:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I saw a New Order.

• 1:58Dax Shepard?

  You did? At what age?

• 2:00Speaker 02

  High school. It was probably at Jones Beach Theater. Which played a lot of really cool.

• 2:07Dax Shepard?

  Where De Castro was a lifeguard.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, geez, that is scary.

• 2:11Dax Shepard?

  Yo, you don't know the De Castro story?

• 2:14Speaker 01

  No, not the lifeguard story.

• 2:15Dax Shepard?

  He was a lifeguard there for, I think, a couple summers, maybe three. One time I was talking to him and I go, "Hey, did you ever like save anyone's life that was drowning?" He goes, "Oh, like a couple times a week." I'm like, "Really?" He goes, "Yeah." And I go like, "What's that all like?" And he goes, "Well, you know the little plastic thing that you see lifeguards? That they swim with that little floating plastic bread thing?" He goes, "That's not to help them with their buoyancy. When you go up to them and they're flailing, they'll make you drown." You first thing up when you get to them is you fucking bonk them in the head. So they kind of get disoriented. And then you can get in the position you need to be and rescue them. I'm like, "Well, you got to assault them and then save their lives."

• 2:58Speaker 01

  That's a perfect save.

• 2:59Dax Shepard?

  Yes, it's the dream.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Son of a bitch.

• 3:03Dax Shepard?

  Someone's thankful for you assaulting them.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  I can see Stevie saving somebody and then lecturing them on the way back.

• 3:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you know, I go to, I do a lot of track days with De Castro and he's like rope different people and he's got like a headset in his helmet. And he's got someone else on that, you know, he offers another headset. And he rides behind them and just coaches them the whole time. He's like, "Hey, you want to throw?" I'm like, "No."

• 3:33Dax Shepard?

  Being an expert in my ear. Are you guys from the same part of Long Island?

• 3:38Speaker 02

  I think we're close. I forgot where he was from. I'm from East Islip.

• 3:42Dax Shepard?

  If it's like this and Manhattan's here, where are you at in that?

• 3:46Speaker 02

  I'm like in the middle on the south side.

• 3:48Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so how far from Manhattan?

• 3:50Speaker 02

  I would say it was about like by car, like 45 minutes.

• 3:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really? And would you guys go a lot?

• 3:56Speaker 02

  We saw a lot of concerts there. I left when I was 18.

• 3:59Dax Shepard?

  Right. And did your parents ever take you into the city for like different?

• 4:02Speaker 02

  Just Yankee games.

• 4:03Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Never to go like just stroll around Manhattan? Also, was it a lot different back then, right? Like when I, I went as a kid with my mom and it was a single mom, you know, it was quite terrifying.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, seventies and early eighties were rough. Until, uh, Crazy Giuliani.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Fixed everything and then went nuts.

• 4:20Dax Shepard?

  Man, talk about a complex story. Saved the city and then tried to ruin the country.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  It got too big.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Too big for his riches.

• 4:30Dax Shepard?

  What did your folks do?

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Uh, my dad was a gym teacher. At, uh, Nassau Community College. And my mom was like an elementary school teacher.

• 4:41Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. Both teachers? And how did you do in school with two teachers?

• 4:45Speaker 02

  Terribly.

• 4:45Dax Shepard?

  Terrible.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  I was the, the bad kid.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Like other families were like, "Don't hang out with Guy Stevenson." Yeah, I was kind of like the bad kid.

• 4:56Dax Shepard?

  And at what age did you become seven feet tall? Was it early or?

• 4:59Speaker 02

  I was always tall. I was always like one of the tallest kids in my class. Did you, were you always?

• 5:04Dax Shepard?

  Same, same, same. There's all these photos of like any kind of lineup in elementary school. I look like I flunked a couple of grades. And I think other kids thought I did, cause I also couldn't read.

• 5:17Dax Shepard?

  And I'm certain they thought, like, oh my God, there's this fucking adult in the class. Almost always been this size. I remember, you know, I got my physical the beginning of eighth grade for basketball and I was 5'11" and 160. And then in ninth grade basketball, on that physical, I was 6'3". And lost 10 pounds.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  And I was gonna say in lighter.

• 5:37Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I looked insane in ninth grade. That was a fucking rake. Just a huge nose and fucking skinny as fuck.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  That could be my biography.

• 5:51Dax Shepard?

  Do you remember that sketch we wrote? Oh, good.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  Uber Eats.

• 5:56Dax Shepard?

  Uber Eats, we're up.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Delivery match.

• 5:58Dax Shepard?

  I want to hear your version of you and I at the Groundlings, cause I would say we were a little atypical.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:03Dax Shepard?

  Right?

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:05Dax Shepard?

  We were the only comedians that were like lifting weights and shit.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  I think we were the only people there that have ever, ever won fist fight. I'm sure some people were beating up.

• 6:17Dax Shepard?

  You know, I've told this story on here about how the, when we refers to meeting each other, cause I was in the Sunday company for six months. And then, uh, he came in on the second cycle, like the new kids that came. And we were, I'll never forget it. So we're sitting in these seats and I'm like, "Oh, wow, this is confusing. Now there's two of us." Like two guys who have fought. We're both tall when we lift weights, like, and I said to you like, "What are we gonna do? Like, who's gonna be the alpha? I think we're gonna have to fight or something." And not talking that much. And he just goes, "Pick another sport."

• 6:52Dax Shepard?

  Do you remember that?

• 6:53Speaker 01

  I do remember that.

• 6:56Dax Shepard?

  I was like, "Oh, this is fantastic." And then quickly we discovered that we both love primates. Half of Guy's sketches were about gorillas. And you owned a gorilla suit, right?

• 7:07Speaker 02

  Uh, my brother did. My brother owned a gorilla suit. We had a plan. We never did it. We both lived in San Diego. He was gonna dress as a gorilla and run on the field at a Padres game. And I was gonna dress as Godzilla and run on the other side of the field. And our plan was to meet in the middle.

• 7:27Dax Shepard?

  King Kong.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  We was like, "I wonder if security'd be like, "This has to be planned."

• 7:32Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  By the organization. Yeah, how less, they just didn't let us know this is happening. How long they would let us wrestle for. But we never did it. We never did it.

• 7:44Dax Shepard?

  Your brother's older or younger?

• 7:45Speaker 02

  I have two brothers. That one's younger.

• 7:46Dax Shepard?

  Okay, and one's older?

• 7:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:48Dax Shepard?

  Okay. So is he the craziest of the family? Cause that was often the case with.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  I was the craziest. My older brother is, uh, autistic. And like old school autistic.

• 7:58Dax Shepard?

  Was diagnosed even back then?

• 8:00Speaker 02

  Like when he was three.

• 8:02Dax Shepard?

  Non-verbal or?

• 8:04Speaker 02

  No, he's verbal, but like you can, you can tell.

• 8:06Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right, right. Were you in a lot of positions where you had to like defend him?

• 8:11Speaker 02

  For years.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Cause it was also back, it was also back then when like, it wasn't uncool to pick on an autistic kid. Everybody fucking did it.

• 8:21Dax Shepard?

  Of course.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  The first group that stopped picking on him were the burnouts, cause they just found other better stuff to do. That's who I gravitated towards.

• 8:35Dax Shepard?

  Do you remember the very first fight you got in to protect him or to defend him?

• 8:39Speaker 02

  Like grade school.

• 8:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, sure.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  There was a lunch train involved.

• 8:44Dax Shepard?

  Tell me more.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  I just kind of threw it a crispy to that somebody.

• 8:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 8:48Speaker 02

  Who was my brother.

• 8:50Dax Shepard?

  That's stress. That's a lot of stress on a kid to have an older brother.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  How old was your brother?

• 8:54Speaker 02

  He's a year older than me.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  A year.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, so we were right there.

• 8:57Dax Shepard?

  That day and age. I know the first fight I got in was this kid that was my best friend at the time. I was like five or six. He hit my brother in the lower back with a wiffle ball bat and he had his shirt off and it really stung. And my brother started crying and I just kind of. Snapped and tackled them and got on top of them.

• 9:19Dax Shepard?

  You know, like I didn't even know what to do. I just wanted to hurt him for hurting my brother.

• 9:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Back boys.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:25Dax Shepard?

  So he went through school?

• 9:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, my parents were like really forward thinking cuz uh back then everyone kind of put their kids away.

• 9:32Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  You know, my dad, who was a gym teacher, was like, you're gonna rise to the level that you're at. So he he was in regular school. Got a regular diploma.

• 9:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow, wow, wow. Cuz in our school, back to yes, how cruel kids were, we had a pretty, I swear, I've it feels very um abnormal. The amount of kids we had in our junior high that had different needs.

• 9:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:56Dax Shepard?

  And uh there was a classroom, Mr. Norland's classroom, and they would give those kids tasks around the school, right? Like they would be cleaning up the lunchroom or like this one guy Pete Schmidt, he'd collect the attendance every morning, you know? His job and he came, now some of it was like good natured, but also wouldn't fly today. It's like he would come in to collect attendance and he would go meep, meep, and everyone would meet meep. And then there'd be, so you know, so that one was kind of fun. And then there were some other ones that went worse. And and I had to go to the class with those kids in elementary for my dyslexia training.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 10:32Dax Shepard?

  I was pretty embarrassed. Like when they would knock on the door and be like, go join the gang.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Did uh, so they knew your dyslexia that early?

• 10:40Dax Shepard?

  They did, yeah, yeah, thank goodness.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  Cuz I'm dyslexic as well.

• 10:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you are?

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, but they didn't.

• 10:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  I remember always going to the eye doctor cuz they thought it was my vision.

• 10:51Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  And that never seemed to.

• 10:54Dax Shepard?

  No matter how many glasses they give you, you didn't get the words right.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  And uh it's been getting worse, man.

• 11:00Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 11:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe cuz I'm getting older.

• 11:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh, interesting, because I gotta say, even the way it's described or had been described growing up to people like, what is dyslexia? How does it work? It was always like, oh, you flip your letters and it's like, that's not entirely what was happening with me. I did it with numbers, right? Like I would invert numbers all the time, but in the, as far as the reading is, it's like, it just looked like fucking hieroglyphics. I couldn't get it. When they would try to explain sounding shit out, I'm like, those symbols mean nothing to me. I can't sound this out.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  How were you at table reads?

• 11:35Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'll, this is what I'm saying, like I, that was me K through five, but then I had a teacher, thank God, that was like, uh, you're really good at math. And that was the first time someone acknowledged I wasn't dumb. And then that became the springboard. Like I was then on the math team in sixth grade in junior high and I swear just, and my explanation of it is like, one day it just all kind of clicked and and what clicked for me is like, instead of looking at the words like compartmentalized by letters and sounds, I just over time eventually memorized every whole word.

• 12:07Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:07Dax Shepard?

  Right? And then just I see the whole word and and I know what it means now and then it kind of.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  It's like a big symbol.

• 12:13Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and I finally learned the symbols and I kind of observed this in one of our daughters too. It's like, and I was kind of optimistic while it was going on. I'm like, she's just gonna fucking one day memorize all these things instead of learning how to sound them out. And then I was fine. I was never like a strong reader and still when I'm on a teleprompter, like Kristen and I will host shit together and she on a teleprompter, she loves it. She's like, I could not even have to rehearse and just throw me on a stage as long as there's a teleprompter. And I'm like, that's me at my worst.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:40Dax Shepard?

  And I posted a couple of game shows where it's just all teleprompter and I'm like, oh, this is not enjoyable.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Y'all just put pictures on.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  Math equations?

• 12:51Speaker 02

  The question mark, our next question.

• 12:54Dax Shepard?

  So what do you use, like what happened? Did you, did you get flunked ever or?

• 12:57Speaker 02

  I never got held back.

• 12:59Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was probably a lot like you. I was smart, but just frustrated with school, so did bad stuff.

• 13:06Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  And uh, like I had to get stuff signed every week by teachers.

• 13:10Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  Right?

• 13:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  All that stuff.

• 13:12Dax Shepard?

  Okay, now here's what's great. For people who watched last season, they'll remember that Aaron and I admitted to the lies we've told people that we're like trapped in now for decades. And of course, the one that was.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  My favorite one.

• 13:25Dax Shepard?

  That I told you I had trained at the Kronk Gym.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:28Dax Shepard?

  And I was like, oh, my God, I'm stuck with this.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  See, now it's all making sense though cuz you started off with telling them you guys were both alphas.

• 13:39Speaker 01

  We had to come up with anything to.

• 13:41Dax Shepard?

  We were really trying.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  One up them.

• 13:42Dax Shepard?

  Flex or bona fides, man. Well, his first question, when it, when he found out I was from Detroit, it was literally the first question.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:50Dax Shepard?

  It was, oh, have you been to the Kronk Gym? Like, of course, that's his first question. And I'm like, hell, yeah, I've been to the Kronk Gym. And then, of course, why would I have been to the Kronk Gym if not to train? And he's like, oh, you've trained there? I'm like, yes.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  I always try to, I was trying to figure out your strengths and weaknesses.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  Guys like, fuck.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was definitely, I definitely believed it.

• 14:15Dax Shepard?

  I looked right in your eyes and told you.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  All right, if it comes down to it, just shoot. He's gonna punch you in the face.

• 14:23Dax Shepard?

  This guy's got an incredible jab. You're trained under.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, you've never seen me fight?

• 14:32Dax Shepard?

  So at any rate, and then the other incredible was Aaron went way beyond that, I think, is that he had boxed in the Marines. Which he was not even a Marine.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  I wish, I wish I was in Groundlings at that moment, um, so Dex and I could feed up of each other's lies.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  Well, I was in the Marines.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  Well, would you, yeah, and I, and when I was asked where did I box? And I said, on a Navy ship.

• 15:08Dax Shepard?

  There you go.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, would that ring through you?

• 15:15Speaker 01

  I was never quite as good at selling my story as Dex was.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  Well, they had these things they called smokers, where these two guys would just put on headgear and get in the ring. And it was just like three rounds of like untrained dudes.

• 15:29Dax Shepard?

  Sure, haymakers central.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, and just eighteen year old guys trying to prove they're tough.

• 15:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  And uh, I did one, and I did one against this, I think his name was Vasquez, and I outweighed him by like thirty pounds.

• 15:43Dax Shepard?

  Sure, but I know from the last name.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  He hit me so hard and so fast. And I'm like, well, I'm looking right at him and I didn't see that coming.

• 15:53Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 15:54Speaker 02

  And uh, I don't know if you've ever wore those things. They're not built for men with big noses.

• 15:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  And here. My nose has got totally peppered though.

• 16:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yours would need to come out as would mine.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  So fat, yeah.

• 16:12Dax Shepard?

  Uh, did I ever tell you, Guy, that we did an episode of Punk with the Golden Boy?

• 16:19Dax Shepard?

  We had a tons of downtime, right? And we're just in a ring together and we got boxing gloves on and shit. Actually, maybe I wore headgear in that. But at any rate, we're getting friendly enough that I say to him, would you be willing to throw your like combo at me? Don't like hurt me, but I just kind of want to see what that's about.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  Right.

• 16:36Dax Shepard?

  And like what you're saying, the first punch I saw him throw was the third punch.

• 16:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:43Dax Shepard?

  Through. And I was like, oh, that's what it is. It's the speed.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  It is un, it's an unbelievable level.

• 16:50Dax Shepard?

  Yes, I couldn't compute how fast it was coming. Like I could have never seen.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  It's like, how can this guy sucker punch me when I'm looking right at him?

• 17:00Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Mom's Car. We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking which floor of the airport parking garage you parked on before your trip. It's five days later and now you're rolling your suitcase through a parking garage that all looks the same, clicking your key fob, hoping to hear a beep. Yeah, checking first is a good plan, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 17:39Dax Shepard?

  Guy, were you in a punked?

• 17:41Speaker 02

  I did a couple of them.

• 17:42Dax Shepard?

  You did, right?

• 17:43Speaker 02

  I did after, after Dax.

• 17:44Dax Shepard?

  How did you find that experience?

• 17:46Speaker 02

  I liked it. I did one on Carmelo Anthony and the basketball player. And I'm sure I, I just know cuz I've been bouncing for so long and body posture, I'm all like, this dude's about to hit me.

• 18:01Dax Shepard?

  I interviewed him and I, when I interviewed him, I'm like, oh, this kid's so cute, but he he gets down. He's gotten down before.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  St. Louis or something.

• 18:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  And anyway, the punk was really like, we found a girl's license in his room and she was underage.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  There's a lot of.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  And it was.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Trouble for you guys.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  It was obviously his boys. That's how they set it up. And uh, he didn't drop one name.

• 18:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? He would didn't drop like, oh, no, it wasn't me, it was my friends. He was just all like, get the fuck out. I'm like, this dude, I hope they're fucking quick to come in, man, cuz he is fucking a six nine world class athlete.

• 18:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  I think he's from St. Louis.

• 18:44Dax Shepard?

  And while he's beating your ass, you're gonna notice how cute he is. Man, this guy is really cute and way tougher than me. Uh, okay. So back to the Marines. How did you end up joining the Marines? What preluded that?

• 18:56Speaker 02

  Well, um, my dad, you know, who taught at a college was kinda like, look, you're not ready for college. And.

• 19:06Dax Shepard?

  Or work.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  And he said to me, he said, the house is only big enough for one man. So, uh.

• 19:16Dax Shepard?

  Time for you to go.

• 19:18Speaker 02

  So I, I, but I enlisted months before I graduated.

• 19:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  Like eight months before I graduated.

• 19:24Dax Shepard?

  Like when they came to your high school with the little card table, that situation?

• 19:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in your school, like, I gotta, let's just be very honest about this. In my school, when they came with that card table, the dudes that were hanging out there, I was like, yeah, they're gonna, you know, that's what they're gonna do.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:41Dax Shepard?

  It wasn't the winners' club that was circulating that.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  And it was pre Desert Storm, so it was pretty much just fuckups.

• 19:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, right.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? There was no yellow ribbons yet or support the troops.

• 19:53Dax Shepard?

  Right. It had been thirty years since Vietnam.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I enlisted under Reagan.

• 19:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Long time ago.

• 20:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and no one was gonna fuck with us when Reagan was behind the house.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  I got a cowboy who's not a fucking Oval Office.

• 20:09Dax Shepard?

  So you enlisted and did you like it?

• 20:11Speaker 02

  Uh, I knew right away I was only gonna do four.

• 20:14Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 20:14Speaker 02

  I knew it wasn't for me.

• 20:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  There were parts of it I loved.

• 20:18Dax Shepard?

  Which were?

• 20:19Speaker 02

  I mean, a lot.

• 20:19Dax Shepard?

  Hanging with the dudes?

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Hanging with the dudes.

• 20:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  I love being out in the field, doing stuff, shooting.

• 20:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  All that fun stuff, but like, it's the life in garrison. When your boss at work is also your boss at home, it sucks.

• 20:34Dax Shepard?

  Wait, what does that mean?

• 20:35Speaker 02

  Oh, like you live.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 20:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, there's no going home or whatever.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  It's just, that, that part sucked.

• 20:42Dax Shepard?

  And how do you do with authority? I guess if your dad was a, like a gym teacher, you're probably used to that kind of authority.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  I might not like it, but I kind of thrive under it.

• 20:51Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I kinda like that structure a little bit, but I knew right away I was gonna be out in four.

• 20:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the structure is nice, right? It's like, oh, I do this, I get this recognition. There's, there's levels, there's training, right? There's like all kinds of steps you can pursue that are already prescribed. You don't have to figure much out.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  It's almost the reverse of discipline.

• 21:10Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 21:10Speaker 02

  Because someone's just telling you what to do.

• 21:12Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 21:13Speaker 02

  There's no like self motivating. It's this dude yelling at you.

• 21:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. Didn't you get thrown out?

• 21:18Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 21:19Dax Shepard?

  You didn't?

• 21:19Speaker 02

  I didn't get thrown out of the Marines.

• 21:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh, oh, oh, oh. Why do I, I thought?

• 21:23Speaker 02

  I got into a lot of trouble in the Philippines.

• 21:25Dax Shepard?

  That's what I recall.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  I got thrown out of the Philippines.

• 21:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh, man.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  But, uh, I stayed in the Marine Corps.

• 21:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, okay. Are you comfortable in saying what kind of trouble you got into the Philippines?

• 21:40Speaker 02

  Uh, you have children, I guess. Well, I got into a fight on a bus.

• 21:44Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 21:45Speaker 02

  With a.

• 21:46Dax Shepard?

  How many people?

• 21:47Speaker 02

  The bus. And it was totally my fault.

• 21:51Dax Shepard?

  The bus.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Cause I got.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  I was hammered.

• 21:58Dax Shepard?

  It feels like an Instagram video on Florida air.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Uh, a guy fighting a bus. I was hammered. At times there were Marines being assaulted out in town.

• 22:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  So I kind of, in my drunkenness, thought these guys were gonna come up on me. So I preemptively started striking and then I just wound up.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  Just dudes trying to get off.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  To go to work.

• 22:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  It was just awful.

• 22:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  The Marine Corps just got me out of there.

• 22:32Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  Sent me home.

• 22:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Were police involved in stuff?

• 22:36Speaker 02

  It was actually a base bus, so it was on base, so it was military police luckily.

• 22:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  If I went to regular, they probably killed me.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  They probably would have killed me.

• 22:48Dax Shepard?

  And they would have had a real good time with you, probably.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:52Dax Shepard?

  You were starting to get a little fucked up too, right? Cause when I met you, the other thing we had in common, which was crazy, is that we both didn't drink.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  I got sober in the Marines.

• 23:01Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  They sent me to a Navy hospital for rehab.

• 23:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 23:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, they sent me there.

• 23:07Dax Shepard?

  In, in the wake of that, a situation on the bus?

• 23:10Speaker 02

  After that, I got a DUI.

• 23:11Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  Luckily, nobody was hurt, but that was the last time I drank.

• 23:16Dax Shepard?

  Shit, I was only, I was only twenty. And the treatment center, was it conventional treatment or was it some, um, proprietary version that the Navy had? Was it like AA?

• 23:26Speaker 02

  It was like AA. I'd spend a, like a month before I could go and they put me on this drug called Anabuse.

• 23:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  I got there, I lived there, it was like six weeks and there was like, people from all the armed forces were there and there were some people that were there for drinking and drugs and a couple overeaters.

• 23:45Dax Shepard?

  Really? In the Navy?

• 23:47Speaker 02

  And then some of them were like retired.

• 23:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  But they could still use the, you know, the VA.

• 23:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:52Speaker 02

  And there was a few guys that were there for fucking gambling.

• 23:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  And those are the guys I felt the most sad for.

• 23:59Dax Shepard?

  Tell me why.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  Man, you're twenty-two and you owe eight hundred thousand dollars. That's never gonna fucking, do you know what I mean?

• 24:06Dax Shepard?

  The thing I feel worse for, cause I've actually, I've, I've gotten to interview a couple dudes who had the gambling addiction. I think the crazy trap of gambling addiction is like, you imagine waking up in the morning after a four-day coke bender.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:21Dax Shepard?

  And, which I've done many times, and you feel absolutely demoralized and dead. And if you could look in the mirror and go, all I gotta do is another kilo to get back to zero.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Fuck, that's the trap. It's like their life's fucked and they're like, if I could just get back to zero, I'll quit. Like, that's the premise. And it's like, oh, God, that's rough. And I can imagine thinking that.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  I felt bad for those guys.

• 24:46Dax Shepard?

  Here it is.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Well, that'll be damn, it was a totally different place.

• 24:52Dax Shepard?

  Since you were so young, has it not ever crossed your mind, like, oh, I bet I was just young. Have you ever been tempted to drink? Or do you currently drink?

• 25:02Speaker 02

  I don't drink.

• 25:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  It's been like thirty-seven years.

• 25:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. You just have no interest.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  Well, it's been so long, it's just too much to risk for me.

• 25:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  You know, and sometimes I'm like, maybe I was just a kid.

• 25:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  But like, why do that experiment?

• 25:17Dax Shepard?

  Truly.

• 25:17Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 25:18Dax Shepard?

  That's the correct decision, but I think it can be hard when you're so young. That's where I see. It's very hard and dude, that I've seen the dudes in AA like coming at sixteen, they got, and then now they're thirty and they're responsible and have careers and families. And like, wait, am I really powerless over, you know?

• 25:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:35Dax Shepard?

  That's hard.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Well, after rehab, I, I, I didn't go to AA.

• 25:39Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  I just kinda.

• 25:40Dax Shepard?

  White knuckled it?

• 25:41Speaker 02

  White knuckle.

• 25:42Dax Shepard?

  Or was it easy for you?

• 25:43Speaker 02

  It wasn't easy, but as soon as I got out of the Marines, I started working in bars. Cause I thought if I saw it every day, it would get easier.

• 25:50Dax Shepard?

  Interesting. Deep immersion therapy.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, and I also didn't wanna miss out on stuff.

• 25:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I can relate.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  I did that for, forever.

• 26:01Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so when do you move to LA? And do you come here specifically to get into comedy?

• 26:05Speaker 02

  No, uh, I went to film school in San Diego.

• 26:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  San Diego State. I graduated in ninety-seven, so I came out here right after I graduated. In my mind, I thought I was gonna be an action guy.

• 26:18Dax Shepard?

  Direct action movies.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 26:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 26:21Speaker 02

  Big dude.

• 26:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  Was in Marine Corps.

• 26:25Dax Shepard?

  You look in the mirror.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  And, uh, I thought all the famous guys would beat me up in some sort of movie. And then, uh, I met this gal and she took me to a Groundlings show.

• 26:39Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  And I've never even heard of improv before.

• 26:41Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  And I saw it and I was like, that's the funniest, coolest thing I've ever seen. I can't believe they're doing that.

• 26:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  It's nuts.

• 26:48Dax Shepard?

  And then I just sign up for classes.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  What year did you start? Was it the late?

• 26:51Dax Shepard?

  Two thousand two or three? I just, I can only remember, cause I got punked. I know Punked aired in oh-three, so then I kinda reverse engineered. So I think it must have been two thousand two we were together?

• 27:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, probably.

• 27:02Dax Shepard?

  I'm not good with years, but I think it was oh-two. So then I don't even realize, Aaron, the best part is, is I'm friends with this guy, Steve DeCastro.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:11Dax Shepard?

  At that point already. So Steve was the bartender slash manager of this bar in Santa Monica called The Circle Bar.

• 27:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh. Which was about the only rowdy bar in all of Los Angeles.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember that bar.

• 27:25Dax Shepard?

  It was rowdy, right?

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:26Dax Shepard?

  It was a little Roadhouse-y vibes.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 27:29Dax Shepard?

  And you were, when did you get your job there?

• 27:31Speaker 02

  Like ninety-nine? I worked at Jumbo's Clown Room for a while.

• 27:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh, sick. Tell us more about that. Do you know about Jumbo's Clown Room?

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Remind me.

• 27:39Speaker 02

  It's a very familiar.

• 27:41Dax Shepard?

  Around the corner.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  Right around the corner. It's like a dive bar where there happen to be strippers.

• 27:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and the ones that probably wanted to got hired elsewhere.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Sure, yeah.

• 27:50Dax Shepard?

  And like they're dancing in front of all these mirrors and the mirrors have not been cleaned in a decade, right? It's just you walk in there and you feel absolutely terrible about everything that's going on.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  But it was women owned and operated.

• 28:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 28:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, so, so like no one was taking advantage of the girls.

• 28:06Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  Very female positive strip.

• 28:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  But and a lot of girls went there.

• 28:10Dax Shepard?

  Clean the windows. Oh, okay.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  A lot of girls went there.

• 28:13Dax Shepard?

  Was it kind of a lesbian hang?

• 28:14Speaker 02

  It was just a really hip kind of place. All sorts of people went. I quit mid-shift once cause I threw a guy out and we had a, we had a pretty good tussle.

• 28:24Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  And then he looked at me and was like, I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna get some guys and we're gonna shoot you.

• 28:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  And I've been threatened to be shot a lot.

• 28:33Dax Shepard?

  At the Circle Bar?

• 28:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, just as a bouncer, it just happens.

• 28:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  And, uh, I believed him.

• 28:39Dax Shepard?

  It was good.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I told the bartender, I'm like, hey, maybe we should call the cops, cause I think this, this might be going down.

• 28:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  And she was like, yeah, we're never gonna call the cops.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Nobody invited that. You're nailed here, we won't call that. That's never gonna happen. So I just, so much, well, I gotta split, man. So I just left. That's the last time I worked.

• 28:59Dax Shepard?

  How frequently were you having to physically remove someone at the Circle Bar?

• 29:05Speaker 02

  A lot, like every other night.

• 29:06Dax Shepard?

  Every other night?

• 29:08Speaker 02

  I would say someone had to get, maybe not every other night, but a lot.

• 29:11Dax Shepard?

  Okay, and then what percentage of those people were going along with getting thrown out? Which percentage were wanting to them throw down?

• 29:19Speaker 02

  Eighty-five percent of the people just walked out because they were mad at us.

• 29:24Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 29:24Speaker 02

  Nor was I mad at it. It's weird wrestling somebody that you're not emotionally attached to.

• 29:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  It is a weird feeling.

• 29:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, takes you back to junior high. Like, Aaron and I wrestled, I don't know, a couple hours every day. Yeah. For years.

• 29:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:38Dax Shepard?

  Time to wrestle.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  We would just run up and just, you know, grab dudes.

• 29:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  You know, every once in a while, they had shit to say about us or whatever.

• 29:47Dax Shepard?

  And it was a pretty, Aaron had set the scene. It was a pretty extensive bouncer crew, right? There was three of you or something?

• 29:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, one of them.

• 29:54Dax Shepard?

  Give a vibe. When you need three bouncers at a bar.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  Roadhouse vibe, huh?

• 29:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:00Dax Shepard?

  And what was like the pecking order of the bouncers?

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Jess was definitely.

• 30:06Dax Shepard?

  The lead.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  The, the cooler.

• 30:07Dax Shepard?

  Dalton?

• 30:08Speaker 02

  He was Dalton. Yeah, he was Dalton, definitely. DeCastro was a bouncer for a while.

• 30:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's where I met him.

• 30:14Dax Shepard?

  And he wasn't yet a black belt in jujitsu.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  No, they all started together.

• 30:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:20Dax Shepard?

  Would you love it? I would, I feel like I would love this.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  At times it was awesome.

• 30:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you had one bad one that I want you to tell Aaron. You had a situation in back. There's a couple guys or three and you're like, okay, just gotta stay on my feet.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was in the alley. It was two guys.

• 30:35Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 30:36Speaker 02

  I just remembered, just hold on to one and don't fall down. If you fall down, it's over.

• 30:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, man.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  So I remember just grabbing a hold of one.

• 30:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 30:47Speaker 02

  And using him as like a, like a crutch. And just taking, taking shots until the cavalry came.

• 30:56Dax Shepard?

  In the alley.

• 30:57Speaker 02

  I was just like, just don't fall down, man. And it wasn't their first time fighting together.

• 31:08Dax Shepard?

  I'm certain I told you, this is the, now we have no credibility because I said that we trained at the Krunk Gym.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 31:14Dax Shepard?

  But we had the craziest night ever. One night in, um, in Manhattan, where they're working for GM, we're doing a car show. Our clients have thrown us a thank you party because we've been working so hard for three weeks. And of course, it's an open bar and all of us are like 23 years old or whatever. So we get annihilated. And, um, for six months, I've been saying to everyone, the next time I get in a fight, I want to eight palm somebody. And this is, I just made this up. I wanted like just as hard as I can, just face, you know, hand to the face and eight palm him. This is just a joke, right? And so we're walking now and I bump into a guy and I turn and genuinely turn, I'm so nice.

• 31:59Dax Shepard?

  I'm like, oh dude, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's like, yeah, motherfucker, you better fuck it. Well, he just pops off, right? And there's like 10 of us. So we're all working together, washing cars. And he goes like that. I turn like I'm gonna leave it and I fuck and I know they're watching and I just fuck it. As hard as I can, I get to smack this guy right in the face and I squeeze and I take him right down to the ground.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 32:21Dax Shepard?

  It's, we're so pumped. I actually did this eight palm thing.

• 32:24Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 32:25Dax Shepard?

  And the second I fall on top of him on the ground, now bouncers are there and they're picking me up. And then now Aaron is in the mix and that was a fight with the bouncers, right? And we're not doing too bad in that fight, but we, eventually they were successful at getting us out of this bar.

• 32:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:45Dax Shepard?

  And they don't follow us out. And now we're on the street and we're all revved up. And then this is the part that's impossible to believe.

• 32:53Speaker 01

  Makes no sense.

• 32:54Dax Shepard?

  Swear to God, like five Asian dudes that are in all, they're all in Adidas tracksuits. They see this whole thing and then all the, we're just immediately in a fight with these guys.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  Where like from, from Game of Death?

• 33:09Dax Shepard?

  That's the look. I mean, maybe even that was their vibe is they were like, we're doing game and. But this, this is just a melee and our clients, these girls are now out of the bar and they're like shoving different members in cabs and stuff. All to say, we do not win that fight.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  Not at all.

• 33:30Dax Shepard?

  And not only did we not win it, the next day we're prepping cars and I'm like, I have the weirdest pain. Someone like kicked me in the liver.

• 33:42Dax Shepard?

  And dudes are like, this neck, they hurt in a weird way. Like some weird shit went down.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  I was always sober at work and that's a big advantage.

• 33:51Dax Shepard?

  I at least had like balance.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Vision, you know what I mean? I was seeing one of them.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  You don't have.

• 34:00Dax Shepard?

  But do you remember that sketch we wrote where we were both robots? The military had designed the ultimate killing machines.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  Yes. Oh, of course.

• 34:10Speaker 02

  Please explain it, but it's.

• 34:11Dax Shepard?

  I don't think it ever made.

• 34:13Speaker 02

  No, no, it never did.

• 34:15Dax Shepard?

  And it was.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  But our peers liked it when we put it up on Wednesday.

• 34:18Dax Shepard?

  It was Dax and I, and we were supposed to be like the new Terminator.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 34:23Dax Shepard?

  Or whatever.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:24Dax Shepard?

  Because we're comedians, we look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

• 34:30Dax Shepard?

  We're both up there and we're supposed to like, we're being presented.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're just on display.

• 34:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and we both have our shorts on and our shirts off. Right?

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:40Dax Shepard?

  I forgot who was narrating, but someone's like the announcer narrating. And then there's questions from the audience, from reporters, and they keep on talking about all our physical flaws.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  Why are their noses so big?

• 34:52Dax Shepard?

  We see you gave them biceps, but why do they have such skinny legs?

• 34:57Speaker 02

  They don't have asses. What's happening?

• 35:00Dax Shepard?

  Was there a reason to design them without asses? And then why these enormous noses?

• 35:07Speaker 02

  Why does he have hair on his chest and that guy doesn't?

• 35:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and what's kind of great about that is like, we're playing in the fact that like already we know in that scene, like the fact that we are lifting weights and talking about, fuck, this is great. So of course they're thinking to me like, oh, these fucking blowhards are gonna talk about their muscles, their ultimate killing machine. And then it's just a complete take down of how disgusting looking we are.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  That guy's eyes are too close to it. He doesn't look like a person.

• 35:37Dax Shepard?

  Aren't they supposed to look like people?

• 35:42Speaker 02

  It was really fun.

• 35:45Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Mom's Car.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Dax, you're ordering groceries on Uber Eats.

• 35:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  What's the one snack you add to the cart before you even think about the essentials?

• 35:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Oreos all day, every day. And then maybe a little milk with it for Dunky Dunk.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  That is essential for Oreos.

• 36:07Dax Shepard?

  All right, now you're ordering, uh, your essentials, but before you do, you're gonna throw in a snack. And what are you putting in there?

• 36:13Speaker 01

  The thing that makes me the thirstiest?

• 36:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 36:16Speaker 01

  Pretzels.

• 36:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. Great. And you love being thirsty.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  I love being thirsty and there's nothing that makes me thirstier.

• 36:25Dax Shepard?

  And you make people thirsty, if I may. We are supported by Uber Eats. Do you love cooking but dislike having to find parking and wandering aisles, trying to remember if you're actually out of certain ingredients? Because same. The good news is you can skip the grocery run and have what you need delivered in as little as 25 minutes with Uber Eats. Shop fresh produce, pantry essentials, and all that everyday good stuff from your favorite grocery stores. Whether you're stocking up for the week, grabbing a few essentials, or getting ingredients for tonight's dinner. Uber Eats makes grocery shopping easy. Less time shopping, more time for everything else. And you don't even have to put your shoes on. So many wins.

• 37:08Dax Shepard?

  Get your groceries delivered with Uber Eats. Save 20% off your first order of $60 plus with code MOMSCAR20. Terms apply. See app for details.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  But that didn't make the.

• 37:22Dax Shepard?

  No, I don't think, I don't think you and I, did you and I ever get a sketch in? I don't think we did. No. It was too, when we got together to write.

• 37:31Dax Shepard?

  So we're doing volcanoes, animals or, or killing machines.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:36Dax Shepard?

  But Guy, has it gotten to you how many times I've told your sketch about the physics class on this show?

• 37:42Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 37:43Dax Shepard?

  I'm not kidding. In 1,200 episodes, I bet you I've told 45 people that sketch on the show.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  That's flattering.

• 37:50Dax Shepard?

  It's my very favorite sketch I've ever seen in my life. It's just, it's too brilliant. Please tell me how you came up with this sketch and what happens in the sketch.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  All right, well, I was listening, this makes me sound super smart. I was listening to NPR. Some dude is being interviewed and he is a quadriplegic and he's got that voice.

• 38:11Dax Shepard?

  The Stephen Hawking voice.

• 38:13Speaker 02

  But it wasn't Stephen Hawking. And I'm like, well, that's weird. That's Stephen Hawking's voice. They should give him another voice. And then I thought, suppose.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Suppose two people are in a room and they had that voice, how would you know who was talking?

• 38:31Speaker 02

  And then I wanted to, I made it a teacher taking attendance on the first day of astrophysics class and the students are just being kids.

• 38:41Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and they're all.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  Stephen Hawking.

• 38:43Dax Shepard?

  Everyone all have the computer voice.

• 38:45Speaker 02

  Everyone's in a wheelchair.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  This sketch, I fucking hate myself.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  John Smith here, who said that?

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:54Speaker 02

  Which one are you?

• 38:56Dax Shepard?

  Which one are you?

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm the girl. I remember like, I'm the girl.

• 39:01Dax Shepard?

  I'm the girl.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  Class dismissed. I didn't say that. Yes, I did. I'm the teacher and I stink. Wait, wait. And then I had them laughing.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  And it was just kids, you know, fucking with the teacher.

• 39:18Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck.

• 39:20Dax Shepard?

  The reason is the perfect sketch is like, the premise alone is like a triple A plus, right? But then beyond the premise, it's truly you wrote who's on first.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Like, yeah.

• 39:31Dax Shepard?

  On top of like the construction of it and how it built and how insane it got and how everyone's talking and you don't know who's and by the way, the visual is just, there's five people on stage just sitting dead.

• 39:45Speaker 02

  Not moving.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  With straws in our mouths to keep them alive.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  And we just had to like not break.

• 39:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  That's our only assignment.

• 39:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, was that, do you think your most successful sketch?

• 39:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  There, yeah.

• 40:01Dax Shepard?

  How long did that run?

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Weeks, weeks.

• 40:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  And then, uh, I had a lot of sketches. This is probably why I knew I was more of a writer than a, an actor, where I didn't speak at all.

• 40:11Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  I had a lot of those sketches.

• 40:13Dax Shepard?

  Well, I E R robots.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, and we did no talking.

• 40:17Dax Shepard?

  Had you gotten a job writing on Mad TV? Is that, you got, yeah, while you were still on the Sunday company?

• 40:22Speaker 02

  No, it was a couple of years later.

• 40:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it was. Were you voted out?

• 40:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. How did you take it? I've gotten to talk to A G, like had to go see a therapist. I was completely fucked up over it. How did you take it?

• 40:33Speaker 02

  The way Karen explained it to me, I was kind of like that Trex.

• 40:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Cause she was like.

• 40:40Dax Shepard?

  You saw the merit of her argument?

• 40:42Speaker 02

  Well, she's like, you're a good writer.

• 40:43Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  You don't do characters that well.

• 40:46Dax Shepard?

  Well, you got a great guy from Long Island.

• 40:49Speaker 02

  And I'm like, yeah, but that's about it. And I got a southern version of that and maybe a gay version of that. And that's about it.

• 40:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  And, uh, she's like, you don't do characters like well enough. I was really bummed about it and I never thought anyone who did get in didn't deserve it.

• 41:04Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  I never had that feeling.

• 41:06Dax Shepard?

  Well, yeah, they had an embarrassment of talent and so few slots.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  And then I asked you, I do an improv show there.

• 41:13Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Bad Company with all ex-Sunday Company members.

• 41:16Dax Shepard?

  I have to do it. I very much want to do it.

• 41:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:19Dax Shepard?

  I think I told you for years I had a chip on my shoulder about it. And then I did go do a Cooking with Gas show one time.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:25Dax Shepard?

  And I was like, oh yeah, I gotta get over this. And then I've gotten to hang out with Ben a bit over the last year or two. I've started to go to his poker game.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:32Dax Shepard?

  And I've been kind of heartbroken that I was so hurt by that whole thing that I, I didn't stay in touch with those guys as much as I would have liked to. And then I'm playing poker with them. I'm like, oh yeah, they've all stayed. And that was the funnest group I was ever.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:43Dax Shepard?

  Involved with. I mean, it was so fun to go there Wednesday night, just be there for eight hours, listen to sketches.

• 41:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  So you're there teaching?

• 41:51Speaker 02

  I'm, I teach there now, but teaching there and not being in the main company, it's always kind of like a chick breaking up with you and you being in the friend zone.

• 42:02Dax Shepard?

  Still helping her move out of her apartment.

• 42:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. And she breaks up with somebody, still doing shit like that.

• 42:10Speaker 02

  I have students become main company members. So I'm like, ah, that's great.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  Super happy for them.

• 42:18Dax Shepard?

  So Guy, I hadn't seen you for a long time and then you had that heart issue. And then I went, I got to go see you in the hospital.

• 42:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:26Dax Shepard?

  Open heart?

• 42:27Speaker 02

  I've had two open hearts now.

• 42:29Dax Shepard?

  Two? And what is the condition? I mean, you, obviously you've exercised your whole life and stuff.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  Well, the open hearts were to replace my aortic valve.

• 42:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's your biggest, right?

• 42:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. You know, they wear out, so they had to replace it.

• 42:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  You know?

• 42:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, the replacement ones wear out?

• 42:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:45Dax Shepard?

  Are they pig?

• 42:46Speaker 02

  Mine is a bovine.

• 42:48Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  And then.

• 42:49Dax Shepard?

  A cow?

• 42:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. They told me I could pick from that or an artificial one.

• 42:54Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  The artificial one, you're on like heavy meds forever. I picked a bovine, but I asked and I was, I, I told.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  I thought I was being funny because that's how I deal with stress. And I'm like, look, I run a lot. Can I have a wolf one? And the doctor was like, no, we don't, we don't have wolves, nor to have ever heard anyone getting anything from a canine. What you really, and he starts explaining it. I'm like.

• 43:19Dax Shepard?

  He's being serious?

• 43:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm like, this is a bit, but it's on.

• 43:22Dax Shepard?

  I constantly get myself in that situation, pay yourself into a corner. Oh, fuck, he kind of thinks I'm serious.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:28Dax Shepard?

  And then you gotta act like, oh, okay. Well, that's unfortunate. I know they have great endurance. I think they say the best endurance in the animal kingdom.

• 43:39Dax Shepard?

  But is it a genetic thing that your aorta was not great?

• 43:43Speaker 02

  Before that, I had a, a, a V-TAC, which is a ventral tachycardia.

• 43:48Dax Shepard?

  Well, okay.

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Which is when your heart starts beating out of control.

• 43:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  And that's.

• 43:53Dax Shepard?

  So like, what was your heart rate? Do you know?

• 43:54Speaker 02

  Two hundred.

• 43:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  Like the rest of your body is shutting down.

• 43:58Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  It's not getting any air. And Jen drove me to the hospital and they said, you definitely should have taken an ambulance.

• 44:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. What age were you?

• 44:05Speaker 02

  Forty-four.

• 44:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. Well, I need an explanation for that.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  They don't know why that happened.

• 44:10Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  And, uh, they put in a defibrillator. So I have a defibrillator in me now.

• 44:14Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  And then I kept getting shocked, which is like somebody just flicking your switch.

• 44:19Dax Shepard?

  How does that feel to get shocked by the defibrillator?

• 44:22Speaker 02

  It's so alarming.

• 44:23Dax Shepard?

  It's instant, oh, gives you a heart attack.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  It's instant falling and screaming.

• 44:29Dax Shepard?

  Really?

• 44:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh, fuck. You wonder if you're like riding a bicycle or something?

• 44:33Speaker 02

  You'd be fucked.

• 44:34Dax Shepard?

  You'd go over the handlebars.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you would know it's coming.

• 44:37Dax Shepard?

  You would?

• 44:37Speaker 02

  You know, you get dizzy and whatever.

• 44:39Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay. How many times did it go off?

• 44:41Speaker 02

  More than like five or six.

• 44:43Dax Shepard?

  Whoa.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  So then I got an ablation, which is a cordialized part of your heart that's making a mistake.

• 44:48Dax Shepard?

  That's an electrical issue, right?

• 44:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  And after that, I got something, and I don't know if this is from an infection from the operation or what, but I got something called endocarditis, which infected my aortic valve.

• 45:00Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  So that's when they had to like change that.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  That, wait, they changed the cow valve?

• 45:05Speaker 02

  No, this is the first. This was, that's when I got the first one. Two weeks ago, I got a new defibrillator.

• 45:11Dax Shepard?

  You did?

• 45:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, they upgraded me. That's why I had to lose so much weight.

• 45:15Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 45:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:16Dax Shepard?

  Really quick, am I right? And that's probably the hardest surgery on your body's open heart? Cause they gotta break your.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  It went through my ribs.

• 45:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:25Dax Shepard?

  Ooh.

• 45:25Speaker 02

  It was rough.

• 45:26Dax Shepard?

  Ooh, ooh.

• 45:26Speaker 02

  And now every time I mess around with that, it just, my middle son about sparring.

• 45:31Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  I just guard my chest. I give up punches to him. Someone that hit any equipment there.

• 45:41Dax Shepard?

  Oh, fuck. But you had your boys when all this started, yeah?

• 45:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were all, uh.

• 45:46Dax Shepard?

  I assume that's the only thought, right? Like when I think about dying, I'm weirdly a little at peace with it. Like I've had the fucking most charmed life a human could have. I don't know much more I deserve. So part of me is just like, yeah, I mean, it's been a great ride. But then I go to like, imagine my daughter's not having a dad and I'm like, oh my God, I have to stay alive forever for them.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  That it for, for Jen and everyone.

• 46:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. How did they respond to that?

• 46:10Speaker 01

  Punch you in the stomach?

• 46:12Dax Shepard?

  They're not girls.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:14Dax Shepard?

  You know what I mean? They're like, glad you're back, dad.

• 46:18Dax Shepard?

  Where were you?

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, uh, they're concerned and you know, when I was heavier, they did not curtail how much I needed to lose weight.

• 46:27Dax Shepard?

  How heavy did you get?

• 46:28Speaker 02

  I got like two seventy.

• 46:29Dax Shepard?

  Like lifting two seventy or just like fucking two seventy?

• 46:33Speaker 02

  I got myself measured. I wanted to have like a vitamin store.

• 46:35Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  So it was really accurate?

• 46:38Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 46:38Speaker 02

  But I was two seventy and about twenty-two percent body fat. So.

• 46:42Dax Shepard?

  That's not bad at all.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:44Dax Shepard?

  You had so much muscle.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, a lot of muscle, but like covered with fat.

• 46:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  But now they got me on a Zepbound.

• 46:50Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure.

• 46:51Speaker 01

  That's the one I'm.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Fuck, is that, that's.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  Got on.

• 46:53Speaker 02

  That shit works.

• 46:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, God, yeah.

• 46:56Speaker 02

  I lost eighty pounds.

• 46:57Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:59Dax Shepard?

  Wow, wow, wow.

• 46:59Speaker 02

  And it wasn't like hard.

• 47:01Dax Shepard?

  Right. So everyone I know is on it.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:03Dax Shepard?

  So I did it for two weeks, literally just to see what's happening. And I was only on a, I split up the two point five dose, which is a starting dose. I split it into two doses.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:12Dax Shepard?

  And after like the one, I was like, oh, I could never eat again. Cause that's not of the many vices I have. I have good control over eating. Like it's not hard for me to control. So I'm already quite controlled. And then you added that in the mix. And I was like, oh yeah, I could just never eat again. I went, oh fuck. It was crazy feeling.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  Jen is now like, you can't keep skipping lunch.

• 47:33Dax Shepard?

  Right. You gotta kind of make yourself eat. Well, that's the good part of it. Cause you do have to make yourself eat. So then you're gonna be like, well, I want to eat something good.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:40Dax Shepard?

  If I gotta eat, I'd like to eat some protein or whatever. What'd you say? Seventy pounds? Eighty pounds?

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Eighty pounds.

• 47:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  What, one eighty-eight, one ninety now?

• 47:47Dax Shepard?

  So I had that too. You know, I had a rack with the Castro. We were up in Sonoma and I went over the handlebars and it broke my clavicle into four pieces. So they were just kind of floating, right? So they went in there and they put a plate in and put it all back together. Healed up great. Like it was perfect. And I was lifting really quickly and it was just perfect.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:06Dax Shepard?

  And I was like so happy that it turned out so well and hadn't affected anything. And then I was riding my electric bicycle to the attic. So I used to live in one house and then record it, the one you were just at that we were remodeling, always recorded there. So, and we had a really early interview, which we never had, and it was over Zoom. And so I'm going to work at like seven AM. It's still dark out and I'm coming over this hill in my neighborhood. And the second I crest the hill, I see headlights and there's a car coming. I'm gonna hit this car and I'm on my electric bicycle, probably going like twenty-five, thirty, right? And so I immediately swerved to the right, but then soon as I swerved to the right, there is a parked pickup truck that is like twenty five feet away. So I know I'm hitting the pickup truck.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:47Dax Shepard?

  But better than the oncoming car.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  Right.

• 48:49Dax Shepard?

  And I just locked up the back brake and went down and slid and like the bars bent the bumper of this truck. Uh, but I didn't like, uh, center punch it and go flying, which is all I cared about. So I was like pretty pumped with how that crash went down. But I did land on my left shoulder and I was like, no.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  So you mess it all up again?

• 49:10Dax Shepard?

  Well, it just was like, I didn't even wanna know. All right. I was just like, yeah, it hurts, but before long I'm back to lifting and everything's groovy.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:20Dax Shepard?

  And I just don't wanna know. I don't want another. It was such a huge surgery. I just, I don't wanna know anything. I ignored this for probably six or eight months. And I'm up in Utah shooting Top Gear and I noticed I've got like now an egg above my clavicle out of nowhere and it's very tender. And I'm like, I can just tell I have an infection. I'm like, what could that be? So then I go back to my doctor who did the operation. He does an X-ray and he's like, what the fuck happened? Like all the bolts are broken out. It's back in two, now it's in two pieces, not four, but he's like, what happened? I'm like, I crashed my bike. He's like, why didn't you come in? I'm like, I didn't, I didn't wanna hear this.

• 49:58Dax Shepard?

  And he's like, okay. He's like, I gotta get back in there. Point is I go in for the operation and I've already had it once. Now they're gonna go in and put two plates in and we're gonna do a bone transplant from my hip. Make sure that the bone fuses. And as it's pitched to me, like the operation starts at eight, I'll probably be awake at two and I'll probably get discharged at five or whatever. And I wake up from the surgery and it is definitely nighttime and I am not where I went into the surgery. Like I went to some surgical clinic in Beverly Hills, but I wake up and I'm in Cedars.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 50:30Dax Shepard?

  And I'm all by myself and it's nighttime. And I'm like, what happened? You know? And I looked down at my arm and I have a fucking tube coming out of my arm. And then eventually someone comes in and they're like, okay, so they got in there and yeah, they discovered this huge infection you had. And then it turns out he had to call Chris in the middle of the operation and say like, look, I don't know really what I should do. I've, I've pulled the, the bone transplant, but I'm afraid if I put it in this infected area, it's just gonna be a waste. I don't, I'm, I'm thinking about sewing him back. I'm getting over the infection, but also there's a good chance, maybe it'll all work out. And she's like, I just do it. Like get it all done.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:07Dax Shepard?

  Let's roll the dice. So I had this pick line for three months and I had to do, you had to do those?

• 51:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 51:13Dax Shepard?

  And I got the kids doing it for me. Like it became a thing. Yeah. I took them to Hawaii by myself with this thing. And I was like, they told me not to go in the ocean, but I go in the ocean, whatever. That's neither here nor there.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Wait, you went in the ocean with a?

• 51:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, with a pick line. I was just like, I can't get this wet.

• 51:28Dax Shepard?

  Net over it in a plastic fucking shower cap or whatever, something that would never keep the water out.

• 51:35Speaker 02

  There's a krill in your blood.

• 51:39Dax Shepard?

  Plankton and krill. This teeming, the infection's gone, but you seem to have a lot of plankton and krill. So anyways, all to say, you know, I, for whatever reason, I never talked to the infectious disease doctor throughout this whole process. I'm just talking to my surgeon a lot. But the infectious disease guy has to clear me to get the tube out. And so it gets to that day and I take some tests and I'm talking to him. He's like, yeah, okay. So you can get it out on Tuesday or whatever. I'll send a nurse over. And I said, what was the infection? Was it like, cause I broke it? Was there like necrotic flesh or something that turned into an infection? And he goes, oh no, you a hundred percent got this infection on the first operation. And had you not crashed your bike and caused that whole thing, you would have gone sepsis and we would have not known where this infection's at.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  Or could have traveled to.

• 52:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. He's like, we would have been dealing with like some major organ issues and not even knowing where it's coming from. And I was like, that's insane that that fucking bike crash might've saved my life.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 52:36Dax Shepard?

  I was so cranky about it.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Isn't that bonkers? So these boys, there's nothing I like more than when you post the pictures of these boys. Like they really turned out. They're very much like you, you know, from what I can tell from Instagram. One of them's super into kickboxing. Yeah, or still.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  The middle one, he's going to college now, so he's not doing it as much as he used to, but.

• 52:55Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 52:56Speaker 02

  He was really into it.

• 52:57Dax Shepard?

  Talk about speed. He posted a video of him working the bag and I was like, oh my God, this kid is lightning fast.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  He went to this legit fighting studio, Fight Science.

• 53:07Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 53:07Speaker 02

  He must've been, I wouldn't wanna spar with them because he was seventeen. So you don't wanna take it out on a minor.

• 53:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, sure.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  But fucking really aggressive. You know what I mean? It's a fucking nightmare scenario. Yeah. There's not, there's a no win situation for you there.

• 53:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Say their names to Aaron.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  The oldest is McCabe.

• 53:29Dax Shepard?

  McCabe.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  What a fucking. And then the middle is Atticus. And the youngest is Rafe.

• 53:36Speaker 02

  These are the best boy names I have.

• 53:39Dax Shepard?

  That's all. Oh, really?

• 53:41Speaker 02

  I wanted to name each one Wolfgang Von Stevenson.

• 53:47Dax Shepard?

  All three of them?

• 53:49Speaker 02

  Well, I, I pitched it three times.

• 53:51Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. Wolfgang Von.

• 54:00Speaker 02

  I remember another us meeting story.

• 54:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. Tell me.

• 54:04Speaker 02

  We stepped out of the groundlings like on break.

• 54:06Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 54:06Speaker 02

  Right? And I think this is when like I'm first in, there's a Continental parked out front.

• 54:11Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  And I go to you, I'm like, dude, that's my fucking dream car. And you're like, that's my car.

• 54:20Dax Shepard?

  Oh shit. Again, in other ways, I was like a, not a great fit for that place. I had a Harley and a sixty seven Continental, dead broke.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 54:28Dax Shepard?

  And not one person in there gave a fuck about any of that stuff. Aaron bought this fucking piece of shit Suzuki. While we were kids and we tried to ride this fucking thing to Austin, Texas, both of us on this six fifty. We had milk crates on the back.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Two men. Wait, recently?

• 54:47Dax Shepard?

  No, we were nineteen.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 54:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we lived together and we were like, we kept hearing Austin was a cool city. We're like, let's go to Austin. Yeah. Yeah. Let's take that motorcycle that barely runs. And let's ride two up on it. And, uh, it was the most miserable experience that we've ever had in our lives. You would think you'd wanna be driving, right? And not be passenger, but it was so much wind and it was so miserable that you actually, we both wanted to be passenger because the wind was broken. And we got to St. Louis and we were at a gas station. We would trade driver every.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  Tank of gas.

• 55:21Dax Shepard?

  Every tank of gas. We're at this gas station in St. Louis. We're halfway there. We've been riding for like eight, nine hours. And I look at Aaron and I go, I don't know if I can make it. And he's like, oh my God, thank God you said that, dude. I have not wanted to be on this motorcycle.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  I've already been crying all year while I was driving. And I was like, I couldn't figure out the words to say, I'm not in.

• 55:44Speaker 02

  I'm not man enough.

• 55:47Dax Shepard?

  We found a field and we found a guy to buy us a case of beer and we sat in a field and got drunk and then slept in the field. We were so happy.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  Turned into a great story. It was a relief.

• 55:57Dax Shepard?

  Guy, I knew this was gonna be fun, but it was even more fun than I thought it was gonna be. What a fun trip to memory lane. All right. I adore you.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Oh, cool, man.

• 56:07Dax Shepard?

  And then we didn't fight. We just got to be best buddies.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  You're about fifty pounds heavier than me.

• 56:12Dax Shepard?

  We navigated it really well. I'm proud of us.

• 56:17Speaker 02

  A lot of energy.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys did good.

• 56:19Dax Shepard?

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