Ike Barinholtz #4

Ike Barinholtz (Artificial, Funny You Ask, The Studio) is an award-winning actor, writer, and comedian. Ike returns to the Armchair Expert to discuss the agony and the ecstasy of colonoscopy prep, how all his winning has changed his personality, and what a great group he gets to work with on The Studio. Ike and Dax talk about his crying triggers as he nears 50, why he made the decision not to try standup comedy, and how the idea hit him for his new podcast. Ike explains why everyone loves to answer questions, living his fantasy as a Jeopardy writer, and his adorable obsession with capybaras. Take printer ink off your to-do list with HP Smart Tank | hp.com/SmartTank. Check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds: https://www.allstate.com/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Mouse.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Hi there.

• 0:05Dax Shepard?

  Today, we have 12 time returning guest Ike Barinholtz, now an award winning actor and comedian. The studio, The Mindy Project, Blockers, Neighbors, Running Point, and he has a new podcast out now that I have been on, I'm proud to say. I hadn't been at the time of this interview and I have since.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 0:26Dax Shepard?

  It's called Funny You Ask, and I'm telling you, it is a blast. You do trivia and you shoot the shit.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  We do a little trivia in this episode and I want to just, I did not represent my people well.

• 0:38Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  Any of my people, Indian people, American people, um, women.

• 0:44Dax Shepard?

  Under 40.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Humans, really. I did a bad job and I'm sorry.

• 0:48Dax Shepard?

  Mermaids.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Mermaids.

• 0:50Dax Shepard?

  Bad look for mermaids. It really was, came out of nowhere in your defense. You weren't prepped.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  No, I'm just bad at trivia.

• 0:56Dax Shepard?

  That's fine. What does it get you?

• 0:58Speaker 01

  If anyone wants to like, give me lessons, trivia lessons, DM me.

• 1:03Dax Shepard?

  I bet you're gonna get actually a lot of offers. Men love teaching women things.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  Oh God, you're right.

• 1:09Dax Shepard?

  Please enjoy Ike Barinholtz. We get support from Quince.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait.

• 1:23Dax Shepard?

  I'm fully there. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers, give me the boots, give me a reason to wear something other than a t-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up. And everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  $60. $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real, but it is because they go straight to the factories, they skip the middlemen and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. It's the kind of pieces you grab over and over because they work every time.

• 2:03Dax Shepard?

  The 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for me are it. When I look at Steve McQueen, this man owned a couple of sweaters. He wore all the time and he looks iconic.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  It's a uniform.

• 2:14Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  And Quince isn't just about the clothes. They have hotel quality bedding, cookware, bath essentials, thoughtfully designed furniture. You can really go there and outfit your entire apartment or house. So if you're in need of any kind of fall refresh at home, too, same quality, same attention to detail for every corner of your life.

• 2:32Dax Shepard?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've talked before about Rob building our website on Squarespace and I bring it up again because it's a perfect example of what they do well. Rob had all the pieces, the content, the vision, the ideas, but he needed something to actually take all that and make it public facing. And Squarespace was that bridge. Maybe you're in the same spot. You've been developing something, a business, a skill set, a body of work, and it's been private.

• 3:17Dax Shepard?

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• 4:15Speaker 01

  Welcome back to our most returning guest.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  Am I number one now?

• 4:21Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  You're not.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  No, I'm not.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  But I want to think in your house.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Andrew Huberman's been on 17 times or some shit.

• 4:28Dax Shepard?

  We've only had one Huberman appearance.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  I was told on the first double video.

• 4:32Dax Shepard?

  That sounds accurate.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  Double penetration.

• 4:35Dax Shepard?

  Double penny.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  That is true.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Man, we're starting off right away.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Right in that hot water.

• 4:42Dax Shepard?

  The blue, never work blue. Funny, that's rule number one, never work. Never work blue. It has been virtually a year on the dot.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Really?

• 4:51Dax Shepard?

  Since your last appearance.

• 4:52Speaker 02

  Makes sense.

• 4:53Dax Shepard?

  It feels like a checkup, like a physical.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 4:56Dax Shepard?

  And then it got me wondering, how on top of that are you? Cause I'm gonna have my physical next week and I have a colonoscopy Monday. So I'm right in the throes of lots of health scheduling.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  I had my physical Monday.

• 5:07Dax Shepard?

  You did?

• 5:08Speaker 02

  I did.

• 5:08Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  A fasting physical or you got to just arrive? I can't have anything but water in the morning, which is so hard.

• 5:16Dax Shepard?

  And coffee, black coffee?

• 5:18Speaker 02

  You can have black coffee, but I need like half and half. I'm such a basic little, I need my half and half.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  I get it.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  That one morning I was like, ah, it's like in a bad mood for like 40 minutes. But it was good. He's a great doctor. He checked my prostate for like an hour.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  It's like a full extended remix.

• 5:35Dax Shepard?

  He has his worries or that's for everyone.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Did I tell you, I don't know if I told you this, the first time I had him check my prostate, I didn't know what to expect. Personally, there's not been a whole lot in that direction in that place.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Historically.

• 5:50Dax Shepard?

  You put your own finger in your butt.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Not really.

• 5:52Dax Shepard?

  Never.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Not really.

• 5:53Dax Shepard?

  You were like, I was a teenager and I was like masturbating and I thought, I wonder if this like, I was just trying every single thing.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  There was just something that I was just like.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  I don't need to do that.

• 6:03Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Not interested.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  No, it's a personal thing. And even as like a crazy perverted Jewish teenager, I was like, nah.

• 6:10Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna skip that one.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll skip that one.

• 6:12Dax Shepard?

  So suffice to say, you probably never ever had anything in your butt.

• 6:15Speaker 02

  Nothing substantial for more than a few seconds.

• 6:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  Wasn't a feeling I was longing to return to.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Maybe like one point like a long time ago.

• 6:25Dax Shepard?

  Okay. You know, a little tipsy.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Bra, put a pinky up.

• 6:27Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure, a little tipsy.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean.

• 6:29Dax Shepard?

  You know, an exploratory.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Anyways, he gets in there with his frigging hand.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Woo! Felt crazy. I was like, oh, it's done in two seconds. And I was so happy it was done. He goes, oh, your prostate is perfect. He didn't do that.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  That would have been disgusting. How he done that, chef.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Put his fingers in his mouth immediately.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  But he handed me like a box of tissues. You can use that to wipe the lube out. And for reasons I'll never know, I went, I'm fine.

• 6:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, like it was emasculating to wipe.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  I wanted just to kind of move past it.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, you want it to be over.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  And I didn't want to be like, thank you. So I was like, I'm good. And he goes, okay. And, and then like the next 10 minutes, I'm just kind of like,

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Oh, sloppy.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Slapping, sliding around.

• 7:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Getting all squishy on the table. So now I wipe it out.

• 7:15Dax Shepard?

  You have to.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Yes, I'm gonna drive home down Woolshire just like,

• 7:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, potentially bleeding through under the seat.

• 7:21Speaker 02

  Look, there was no blood.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  No, no, seeping through.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Seeping, right, right, right, right.

• 7:27Dax Shepard?

  Leaching.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Leaching, leaching. I don't need that stuff leaching into my, uh, Lincoln. Uh, anyways, I went on Monday. It was great. Everything was really good.

• 7:35Dax Shepard?

  And he got in there again.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  Every time. The colonoscopy is only every couple of years. The prostate's every year.

• 7:40Dax Shepard?

  The digital exam, they say, yeah.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  The colonoscopy, have you ever had one before?

• 7:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, I've had so many.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  You have like one a week.

• 7:48Dax Shepard?

  I used to, because in my family, I had on my mother's side, an uncle that had a colostomy. And then my cousin that was my age had to have one in his twenties.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  Woo!

• 7:59Dax Shepard?

  So.

• 7:59Speaker 02

  That is family history, Ben.

• 8:00Dax Shepard?

  So I was going from 18 every three years. I can't tell you how many. And then I finally saw one out here and he goes, it doesn't really generally move on the maternal side. Like, you don't need to get this many. So then I backed off for a while and now I'm back in a five year rotation.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  Good. I will say, I love the nap.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  The Michael Jackson nap.

• 8:20Dax Shepard?

  I'm already rehearsing my charming pitch to them.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:25Dax Shepard?

  Because first they give you Versed to relax you, but then they hit you with the propofol really quick.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:31Dax Shepard?

  But that little window of Versed is all I get.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:34Dax Shepard?

  And it's once every five years.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Tell them, you know, drop the Versed, then go make a phone call, get some coffee, come back and then we'll do the propofol.

• 8:40Dax Shepard?

  Exactly.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:42Dax Shepard?

  And so I gotta roll that out in the least addicty, most charming way possible, where they don't think I'm a drug seeker just getting this procedure to get that 30 seconds of Versed. So it's a fine line I'm walking.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  The worst part, though, for me is the prep, the night before the soup prep. I drink it, it tastes like poison that has gone bad. Like it's expired.

• 9:02Dax Shepard?

  Poison.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  It turned to poison. And it is like comical. How quickly you go from like, I'm on a Zoom, everything's cool, to like fucking Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber just, whoa.

• 9:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Torrential's the only adjective.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  Monsoon season.

• 9:17Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  In my bathroom.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Are you gonna weigh yourself before and after?

• 9:20Dax Shepard?

  You know how neurotic I am about all this. And also my procedure's kind of late on Mondays. That day, and I'm like, I'm gonna lose like five pounds probably. So the last couple of days I've been eating ferociously, knowing we have this moment of scarcity coming. But I kind of knew it was coming and this didn't occur to me until this morning. So Kristen hosts the SAG Awards on Sunday.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  Yes, I'll be there.

• 9:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, of course you will.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  You're doing a bit for us, which we're very, very grateful for.

• 9:44Dax Shepard?

  So what we did last year was like, I bring the kids up and we hang backstage and it's really fun. We get to see mom. And so that's of course the plan again this year. And then just this morning, I'm brushing my teeth and I said, Kristen, I said, you know, love, I'm going to be evacuating every 15, 20 minutes on Sunday. That's my prep day.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 10:01Dax Shepard?

  I'm a little nervous about the logistics of me juggling two kids.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  You can.

• 10:05Dax Shepard?

  In a public.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  Wear a diaper. You gotta diaper, baby.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Oh, no. It's gonna smell so bad next day.

• 10:12Dax Shepard?

  And it's a communal bathroom, you know? And it's all my heroes. And I'm gonna be in and out of there with full torrential sounds.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Dude, you're gonna be.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  You can't come.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Just blasting off next to Stellan Skarsgård.

• 10:25Dax Shepard?

  I loved.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  He said about, he wins this award and he's like, I just want to say, Beck Shepard gave the bathroom a paint job before.

• 10:33Dax Shepard?

  The real suffering. I knew suffering until I shared a bathroom.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  This really does need to be thought through.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta make a plan.

• 10:41Dax Shepard?

  I can already predict what's gonna happen. I know me and I know my history, so I'm gonna load up at noon and start the process. And I know by four, I'm gonna say it's all done. We're safe to go. Kids in the car. We know this is gonna happen.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Well, we can't make the show about your poo.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  You're gonna be hugging Ted Danson and you're just gonna.

• 11:02Dax Shepard?

  I can't not go to this for Kristen and not bring the kids. So this is gonna happen. But I already know that I'm gonna be way too confident. By 4pm, when I leave for the show, I'll be like, yeah, I had four hours of it. There's nothing left. Start earlier. Start at nine.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:19Dax Shepard?

  But will that fuck up the whole?

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 11:23Dax Shepard?

  What do I think my second dose right as I'm walking into the theater?

• 11:28Dax Shepard?

  I just decide like, fuck it, let's go all in. This is gonna be miserable. Let's go for it.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 11:33Dax Shepard?

  But these are the weirdest things. You can't really anticipate or plan for it. It's like, we had a bulletproof schedule and now I'm gonna be flushing out my whole lower GI.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  My mistake I learned was the day after, cause I was so hungry and I was like, I'm gonna treat myself. And I ordered from, rest in peace, Son of a Gun, one of my favorite restaurants.

• 11:52Dax Shepard?

  Was that a sandwich shop?

• 11:54Speaker 02

  It was like a New England seafood place, but they had like lobster rolls, fries.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  By the John and Vinnie's people.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  It was a John and Vinnie's people. That is like taking a riding mower onto the autobahn.

• 12:05Dax Shepard?

  You know what I mean, Ryan? I was just like not ready for what that wrought. So that's a bummer. So eat light. You know what's funny for me? Every time I do it, I get the craving for the exact same thing. It's McDonald's french fries.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, those are good.

• 12:16Dax Shepard?

  The second I get in, they'll be like, oh, I'm about a couple hours away from McDonald's french fries.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  That's a nice treat. That's a nice treat. Yeah, yeah, those are good.

• 12:22Dax Shepard?

  Makes the whole thing almost worth it. Now, back to your digital exam on your prostate.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:26Dax Shepard?

  Your mind must go to the exact same place. Mine does 100%. I think even maybe if you could count us down on three. What do you wanna do the second he puts his finger in your butt? And you count us down from three. Let's see if we get lucky.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  Three, two, one.

• 12:39Dax Shepard?

  Moon River.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Damn, I thought for sure we'd get that.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Wow. That.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  What did you say? Come? I said come. I'm sorry. I didn't know. Well, no, no.

• 12:54Dax Shepard?

  See you in me.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Both pump, pump spray.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  Moon River.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Is a reference from Fletch.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you. I was like, what the fuck?

• 13:03Dax Shepard?

  But I knew he, and then, and then Doc using the whole fist.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  Use the whole fist up there, Doc. Did you watch the Chevy documentary?

• 13:11Dax Shepard?

  I did.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  I started and I stopped.

• 13:13Dax Shepard?

  You did?

• 13:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:14Dax Shepard?

  Tell me why.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  Cause it was just bumming me out. Full disclosure, I have heard nothing but horrible stories about him for years.

• 13:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh, uh huh.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  For guys like us, he was a big, big guy. National Lampoon's Vacation, I'm sorry. It's like one of my favorite movies.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Still to this day, it's so fucking great. Fletch is great. He was just really funny. And some people like, I understand they didn't connect with him. I get it. Cause his air is just not for everyone.

• 13:37Dax Shepard?

  He's arrogant. That's kind of what he's playing up.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  But I heard all these stories for years and then I started watching and I was like, I just want to have the memory.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's okay.

• 13:45Dax Shepard?

  There are several different things that could have been the things that took you out of it. So, so that's why I'm curious. Is it that like, here's a guy who is now doing small shows to support himself? Is it that?

• 13:56Speaker 02

  It's a bummer.

• 13:57Dax Shepard?

  Is it how he's treating the interviewer?

• 13:59Speaker 02

  Bummer.

• 14:00Dax Shepard?

  I loved him and then just got more and more depressed every time I heard stories of people who worked with him, right? But I watched the doc and I ended up with like kind of a lot of compassion for him. I mean, he had a very fucked up childhood.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  For sure. And I will say, seems like he's a really good dad and husband now loves his family.

• 14:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 14:21Speaker 02

  It's tough.

• 14:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's tough. It's tough. Here's what gave me the compassion is I think there is a category of person who's an asshole. And they don't give a fuck and they're not even questioning it. And then I think there are people that are assholes and they themselves are suffering greatly from it. There's no, eh, fuck you and I don't care. And there's no wreckage or bill to pay. But when I'm watching that, I'm like, yeah, he's deeply uncomfortable a lot of the time in his own skin. And he's got impulse shit and he's probably ADHD and all these things. And he's an addict. I don't think the guy's winning. It's not like he's feeling great about being this asshole.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  But I guess to me, he was winning for so long. I never get someone who had it and then just kind of threw. I would say misbehavior a little bit.

• 15:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Lost it. It's hard for me to really find the sympathy there. Like, I don't think he's a hateful man.

• 15:13Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  But I just want to remember him talking to like Eugene Levy in Vacation and that will be my memory of him. I don't need to see him old and feeble and like yelling at like a woman who's like asking him questions.

• 15:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, cranky. Did you make it to the part, though, where they go through his talk show that he did?

• 15:33Speaker 02

  No, but I remember that talk show.

• 15:34Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  The Goldfish.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  What happened?

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Piano. It was one of the biggest bombs around like 1994. It was Talk Show Mania.

• 15:42Dax Shepard?

  Sally Jesse had one.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Jesse had one. Arsenio Hall. Joan Rivers tried one. It was about, why is there only Johnny Carson? Everyone started one and then Chevy was like the big blue chip new talk show for 94?

• 15:56Dax Shepard?

  I can't remember the exact year.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  He was completely unsuited for it.

• 15:59Dax Shepard?

  So that's the part I would have liked for you to have seen. Because this guy is defined by his confidence. He just starts right away on Sorry, Live. Like, when you've seen that early footage of him, it's crazy.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Swag he had, yeah.

• 16:12Dax Shepard?

  So much fucking swagger and then he's playing the piano confidently. He's doing everything. He's ridden on this superpower of confidence and he gets on that stage and they show the footage and he already kind of knows it's not going to be great. And to see him having lost that entirely.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:28Dax Shepard?

  You can feel it. As you and I, and you, anyone who's a performance man on stage to watch that dude have to go out there every night with zero confidence and just suffer through it until they kill it. He certainly took some on the chin along the way. He gave a lot. He gave way too much out.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:46Dax Shepard?

  But he also suffered like a motherfucker.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  He suffered, but I suffered when I watched Nothing But Trouble. Very bad movie, folks. Folks, not good.

• 16:55Dax Shepard?

  The other doc I wanted to ask you about that I presume you watched is, did you watch the Scorsese one?

• 16:59Speaker 02

  That I like inhaled.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  He's your guy.

• 17:02Speaker 02

  He's the boy. He's the guy. All of his movies. Anytime they're on TV, I'll watch all of them. He's the greatest. And the doc was amazing. I could have watched another three or four parts of it.

• 17:11Dax Shepard?

  Okay, but now any sadness. Now, I guess you run the risk of like he was on the show and maybe he'll be back. So maybe you have some personal relationship with him.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  He's a coaster. He's a close friend. I had breakfast with him this morning.

• 17:20Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Is he who dropped you off?

• 17:22Speaker 02

  He dropped me off.

• 17:23Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  He hangs out in LA and runs errands. He's great for airport pickup.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  I can be landing at LAX and right when they say you turn your phone on, I can text him. And wherever he's at in the city, he'll come and get me and the kids.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Rob it.

• 17:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's got sadness in his life.

• 17:39Dax Shepard?

  The things that I thought were really helpful is you just look at his career in the totality and you really ignore that he had tons and tons of valleys and he had tons of back to the drawing boards. So that stuff is really encouraging. Even in the doc, and he'll be the first to admit it, if Leo doesn't come around and say, I want to work with you, I don't know what's going to happen. He is not getting movies made and he is not getting people signing up at that moment in his career. And Leo takes him on a ride that is incredible and he's a real savior at that moment.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Well, because he does Casino, which is bomb, but then he's so cool that then he makes like The Age of Innocence, which is like a complete departure for him. And then he does the Nick Cage movie, which again, totally crazy different movie.

• 18:22Dax Shepard?

  It doesn't work financially.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  It doesn't really work financially and stuff. Yes.

• 18:25Dax Shepard?

  He owns it in the doc.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  Leo, he definitely, which makes me just love Leo more.

• 18:30Dax Shepard?

  I know, because if you couldn't love the dude more.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  I love that guy.

• 18:33Dax Shepard?

  I like being reminded, yeah, you could be as talented as Martin Scorsese and then also the luck gods need to be on your side too. And then ultimately though, I will say, and this is super selfish, but he paid an enormous price to be as good as he was. He was so hyper focused and he ignored everything in his life.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 18:54Dax Shepard?

  And all the wives will tell you that, he'll say it, the kids will say it. And for me, I was just watching it and I was like, I'm very sad with this. That's not the outcome I'm looking for. I guess I don't give a fuck about being a genius.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  Me personally, if it came down to my family, both the one I have here and the one in Vegas.

• 19:16Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Sure.

• 19:17Dax Shepard?

  And an Academy Award opportunity that made you ignore them for two years.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  Right. I'm more of that guy where I'm just like, I'll work less, whatever. He's not.

• 19:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm grateful for us.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  A, I'm very grateful for that because of the work he gave us, but also there is something now about like seeing him with Francesca now and his daughter and it feels like he is at peace now. He is connected to his family. I think their relationship is beautiful. I think she looks at herself as like a steward of his art.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:48Speaker 02

  And also putting him, I don't know if you guys follow her on TikTok, but like the videos of her and him together are so. Fucking adorable and wholesome.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  Oh, ew.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  They're so good. And so I had seen all that before the doc. Knowing where he's at now, that didn't hit me as much. I was just grateful. I was grateful he made it out of the seventies. Most of the great guys out of the seventies never made it out.

• 20:12Dax Shepard?

  He spent a couple of years inside doing coke with fucking aluminum foil on the windows.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  A crazy man with coke and asthma condition and like going crazy. And so I'm just grateful that he made it out. Can you imagine if he didn't? We'd never had Goodfellas. Like it would be such a shitty world. So my takeaway was just like, I'm so happy for him. I know it sounds crazy for a guy that I worked with for like five hours one day, but my takeaway was like,

• 20:37Speaker 01

  He's your best friend.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  He's a close friend. Him and Dave Stassen are my two closest.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  You, since we saw you, have become a very winning man.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  Hashtag winning.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  You've been winning. And how's it changed your personality?

• 20:51Speaker 02

  I'm a dick.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  You know, on an interpersonal level now. I never had that before, but I'm very short and rude with my friends. Can we hurry this fucking thing up, by the way?

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm surprised we even came back, if I'm being honest.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Absolutely. Nothing has changed.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  But does it make you feel like, ooh, I kind of want to keep, like now you're in this elite?

• 21:09Speaker 02

  The funny thing is, for years, you're like, I don't give a shit about award shows. Then you get nominated for one, you're like, I'm excited for this award.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  The only one that I actually won, I think, was the Critics' Choice. But I remember I got nominated for an Emmy and people who are well meaning and intentional say to you like, you're for sure going to win.

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Trust me, you're for sure. And then you start to be like, I'm going to win.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:30Speaker 02

  And then you start to craft little narratives in your head. You have people on your team, your friends who are like, it's either you or Harrison Ford. And that's just what it's going to be. And so I remember being not shocked, but being like, holy shit, I didn't win. Harrison Ford, what the fuck? And being like mad. And then the next day being so mad that I was mad about this shit. So I remember going into the Critics' Choice being like, I'm not paying attention to this going in. This is wonderful. I'm honored, but I'm just like, I'm not going to allow myself to be caught being upset about it.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  Then I remember the second they called the category, I was Like, oh, please pick me, pick me.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's honest. Yes.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  That's the honest truth, I think. And I think everyone feels that way, even if they say it.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  Yes, they do.

• 22:15Dax Shepard?

  Had you written a speech that you were excited to deliver?

• 22:18Speaker 02

  Cause you're a great writer and you're a live performer. For the Emmys, I did. Critics chose, I did not, because I was just like,

• 22:25Dax Shepard?

  I'm not gonna win.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  Not gonna think about it. I'm not gonna put myself in that position again.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  Uh, so then I won, I was like, oh, fuck. So then I just was like, I love my wife. She loves me so much. Please come up here. Well, I did, when I, when I got up there, the first thing I did was just look in the crowd and locked eyes with Benicio. And I was like, nah, can't do that. Mustn't do that.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  Too cool for me, man.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  So cool.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  Can't gaze upon him.

• 22:50Dax Shepard?

  In general, that show, the few I've been at with where it's at, it kinda sweeps. It's a insanely winning show.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  I think it's won everything. It's been up for more or less.

• 23:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 23:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So the vibe of all being together and going to the different things together. Is this a party?

• 23:08Speaker 02

  Most fun. Seth is the greatest guy and Evan Goldberg is so fun. Catherine Hahn.

• 23:13Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  Chase Wee Wonders is the funniest. It's a great, great group and good people to be with at those things.

• 23:19Dax Shepard?

  No, I want to ask this. This question is dicey in that it may sound like I'm implying something. I'm not, I'm genuinely curious. You've been on a bunch of different things that have worked. I don't know what ratings are and stuff. Is America, like, we are all the studio.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 23:34Dax Shepard?

  A hundred percent. How does it compare to being on like Mindy or Running Point?

• 23:38Speaker 02

  I don't know. I know that a lot of people come up who are not in the business. Like I was just flying, we just flew to Canada. And the guy sitting in front of us was watching the studio and I could kinda see it. And he stood up to go to the bathroom and looked at me and goes, I want you to know I was watching that before I saw you.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  I love when people not in the business love the show.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  Like, that is very cool. And I think they did a good job, even though the show is, no matter what, about the business, inside baseball. They do hit on themes that are pretty universal. Everyone's got like a boss who's annoying or they want credit for an idea. Like my friend Debbie, she's like, I want you to know, my husband literally does not watch TV. He doesn't watch anything except Ohio State sports. He loves the studio.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Oh, great.

• 24:19Speaker 02

  That's great. We're gonna like it, cause we know we've been in this situation. I think in this day and age. For a show to work, it either has to have huge ratings, like Running Point,

• 24:31Speaker 02

  or has good ratings slash great ratings. People love it. Critics love it. It wins awards. I imagine the studio kind of falls in that category where people watch it, it gets good numbers, but it's not like a Netflix, like Running Point, which is like a big

• 24:44Dax Shepard?

  Global.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  Global.

• 24:46Dax Shepard?

  Kate Hudson.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  Global.

• 24:48Dax Shepard?

  It's global.

• 24:48Speaker 02

  I'm a globalist.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  But it's my favorite show to work. It's so fun. Everyone's so great. It's just wonderful people.

• 24:56Dax Shepard?

  So you guys have already shot season two or you're in the process of it?

• 25:00Speaker 02

  Right now, my man.

• 25:01Dax Shepard?

  You're doing it right now?

• 25:02Speaker 02

  We're doing it right now, literally.

• 25:04Dax Shepard?

  And what is your work schedule like on that?

• 25:06Speaker 02

  It's not light.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  We're able to break off a couple hours for this and that, for this.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  It is weird. It's not your typical show where it's like, okay, today is just Chase. And then tomorrow is all of us. And then it's just Seth. It's like usually everyone's in on every scene. And the way they shoot it, I think there was a time where I got there and they were like, you actually don't think you're gonna be in this. And I was like, okay. It's one of those shows where you just completely surrender to the schedule.

• 25:33Dax Shepard?

  You're on call. You're like an OB.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  I am. I've been doing some amateur OB.

• 25:41Dax Shepard?

  You're kind of a hobbyist.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  I'm more of a hobbyist. Enthusiast, let's say. OB one Kenobi. Is that anything? If your baby doctor's last name was Kenobi? My OB is Kenobi. Is that, is that like?

• 25:53Dax Shepard?

  It's gonna take a lot of setup.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  We can riff on?

• 25:55Dax Shepard?

  It's gonna take a lot of setup. I'll just say that.

• 25:57Speaker 02

  What if your last name was Kenobi?

• 25:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  You should probably go in.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's right. Let's have some fucking fun, guys. Come on.

• 26:07Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so you're doing that one right now? And then is Running Point in production?

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Running Point is not in production, but we're starting to kind of get some ideas together for season three.

• 26:17Dax Shepard?

  So you've already completed season two?

• 26:19Speaker 02

  Season two is, it's what they call in the business, in the can, baby. Have you seen Song Song Blue, by the way?

• 26:25Speaker 01

  No.

• 26:26Dax Shepard?

  Have not.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  I've heard it's great.

• 26:27Dax Shepard?

  I keep hearing it's great.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  The movie's so good. Her performance, it's one of the best I've seen in so long. I was so Fucking happy for her because I remember her telling me about this movie. She's like, it's really fun. It's me and Hugh and I knew the band that it's about.

• 26:40Dax Shepard?

  You did?

• 26:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz they were in Chicago. People would be like, I was in Milwaukee last weekend. I saw this Neil Diamond cover band. It's a lady. So I remember them. I remember Pearl Jam having them open for Pearl Jam. That's in the movie. And then she told me about the movie and she's like, and I think she said it's gonna come out on Christmas day. And I was like, Focus Features is putting a movie out on Christmas day. They think it is really good. And I saw it. We went to the screening and like months, months ago. It was so embarrassing how hard I was crying.

• 27:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 27:08Speaker 02

  It's emotional and she is so great in it. I hope she wins the Oscar. She just killed it.

• 27:14Dax Shepard?

  How much are you crying these days? You're approaching 50, right? You're around the corner?

• 27:19Speaker 02

  No.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 27:22Dax Shepard?

  That fucking kind of a question. I'm sorry. I'm way off.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Thirty-six. I gotta go, guys.

• 27:29Dax Shepard?

  I'm sure you're late to something.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  I'm approaching.

• 27:31Dax Shepard?

  You're forty-nine, right?

• 27:32Speaker 02

  I'm forty-nine. Okay, go. Just turned forty-nine. I cry not maybe as much, but more violently and worse.

• 27:39Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. So frequency is the same, but dosage?

• 27:42Speaker 02

  Maybe actually a little less.

• 27:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, interesting.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz before I was crying like, I'm having fun watching TV. Ah, it's a nice commercial. Now I'm just stoic, stoic, stoic. And then the life happens or the external world happens and I'll go into like my closet.

• 27:58Dax Shepard?

  And what are the triggers?

• 27:59Speaker 02

  Daddy-daughter stuff? How do we do with daddy-daughter stuff? Daddy-daughter stuff's not too bad, only cuz I think my kids are a little younger than yours and they're still in the, we love dad and wanna hang out.

• 28:09Dax Shepard?

  But Interstellar, once I had a baby, it's like, oh, this guy's gonna miss his daughter's life. I'm destroyed.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. I was in Italy for two and a half weeks away from my family and I'm flying back home. And I was like, man, I haven't watched Interstellar in a minute.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  Horrible idea.

• 28:26Dax Shepard?

  And you just missed two and a half weeks of your family's life.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  The scene when he walks in, he's like, oh, my gosh, it's my daughter, Murph. I fucking lost it on All Italia.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  Like Robert De Niro would analyze this.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  Fuck it. To me, it's more like we're at the age now where people are dying, where you have life catching up. You have friends with kids that get sick. That's the real shit. That's the stuff where you're crying. You don't feel silly about it. Where you're like, I fucking need to do this. And then there's just the random things. Like I watched a clip the other day of, I want to say it was maybe the Liverpool Football Club.

• 29:05Dax Shepard?

  Soccer match?

• 29:05Speaker 02

  Not gonna cry talking about it, but it was them and it was like a thing with.

• 29:11Dax Shepard?

  You're halfway there. Yeah. So give me every detail.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  It's like this sweet handicap kid and they show up at his school and they're like, who's a Liverpool fan? And he's like, I am. And they take him, they take him to the stadium and they meet every player. And then they put him on the sidelines. And I was like, I'm an Arsenal fan, but like I might have to switch to Liverpool now. That was like eight oh seven on the toilet. Sob.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  But it's still overall less than it was probably a year ago, a couple of years ago. I don't know why, maybe because I'm.

• 29:41Dax Shepard?

  You're too busy, maybe.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  Maybe too busy. Too busy to cry. It's the name of my autobiography.

• 29:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, we have a theory that these older men, it's all burbled up their whole life and it's coming out all the time. Dax cries every day.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Especially the older guys. Grown up in the eighties. If you cried in front of one of your buddies, it was like, you're gay.

• 30:02Dax Shepard?

  Had a better just been blown up in a car bomb or something.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  There was a stigma to it. And then it started in the nineties. You started seeing like modern dads. And now it is a good thing. Anyone who says it's bad, that's nonsense. It's good to fucking get it out.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 30:25Dax Shepard?

  We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking which platform you watch that new show on. So frustrating. 15 minutes later, you've logged into seven apps, reset two passwords and still haven't found it. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Co. and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We get support from Superhuman. Look, I love what I do. The conversations, the ideas, the creative stuff. But there's this whole other layer of work that eats my day alive. The inbox that never ends, docs I need to get through, threads I'm behind on.

• 31:10Dax Shepard?

  And by the time I've dealt with all that, the stuff I actually want to focus on gets whatever's left. What I needed was something that just works where I'm already working. Not another tab to open, not another thing to set up. Superhuman Go from the makers of Grammarly is different. It's already right there inside your email, your docs, your browser. You don't go to it. It's already working alongside you. You're deep in a long thread, highlight it, and it pulls the key points. About to send something important? It flags what doesn't add up before it leaves your hands. It knows your style, your workflows, and it just backs you up without getting in the way. A thought partner that's already up to speed at your service, not after your job. So do yourself a favor and try Superhuman Go from the makers of Grammarly.

• 31:55Dax Shepard?

  Find out more at superhuman.com. This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not so dreamy parts. The stuff that gets in the way of the actual work. Now that's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They don't just tell you what you should do about your busy work. They actually do it, start to finish, cases closed, requests handled, no extra work for you. So you and your team can focus on what matters most, which for me is,

• 32:38Dax Shepard?

  are they obsessed with male bodies on the same level as I am?

• 32:41Speaker 01

  They never are.

• 32:42Dax Shepard?

  To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. We get support from our sponsor, Lilly. For adults with obesity or with excess weight and weight-related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Gleepran. Foundo is a once daily prescription GLP-1 medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical Activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.

• 33:13Speaker 04

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• 33:53Speaker 04

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• 34:16Dax Shepard?

  My frequency rate just has gone like this, you know?

• 34:19Speaker 02

  Well, you're very emotional. Like, I'm an emotional guy. I think you are more emotional than me.

• 34:24Dax Shepard?

  That might be true, but I think it was very hidden.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  Well, you're sensitive.

• 34:27Dax Shepard?

  I'm very sensitive. I bet I'm more sensitive than you.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah.

• 34:30Dax Shepard?

  Yours are now, what, six, eight, and 12?

• 34:34Speaker 02

  Eight, 10, and 12.

• 34:36Dax Shepard?

  The 12-year-old? I have a 12-year-old.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 34:39Dax Shepard?

  Have we started to have any moments where they break your heart?

• 34:43Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, yeah.

• 34:44Dax Shepard?

  And were you prepared for it? And even though you'd been told about it, do you find yourself going like, wow, I'm so deeply hurt in this moment, and I know I'm not supposed to be?

• 34:52Speaker 02

  For me, it's like small things. I try not to let it affect me. For instance, a couple of weeks ago, I loved to cook.

• 34:59Dax Shepard?

  Five nights a week, they say.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  Pretty much. If I'm not shooting, easy five nights a week. One night's burgers, one night, maybe we'll go get ramen or some. But I cooked dinner, so excited, made my daughter's favorite things, and at four o'clock, she was like, hey, I'm gonna sleep at Lula's. And I was like, yeah, you should.

• 35:17Dax Shepard?

  You should. Yeah. I'm so happy you have a good friend.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would never be like, no, what the fuck? I'm making cutlets and mashed potatoes.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  So there's moments like that. Once you get a little bit older, I feel like that's when it will really start to kind of hit more. I feel bad like when they feel bad about something.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  That's the empathy kind of thing of like, oh, they're having a hard time with this. I get mad for my daughter when she has to do a ton of homework. Don't you remember as a kid being like, the fuck is this shit?

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  What a scam.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  It's bullshit.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  I go to school all day.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Busting my ass. Meanwhile, I was not even.

• 35:55Dax Shepard?

  No, you were rarely trying.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  Then I got to come home and deal with this shit? No. And so I've always hated homework and seeing them have to do like hours of homework. I'm like, just let it be kids.

• 36:05Dax Shepard?

  Have you had a Valentine's heartbreak yet?

• 36:07Speaker 02

  No, not a Valentine. She has been perfect amount of healthy detachment when it comes to boys.

• 36:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  Where clearly like her and her girlfriends talk about it. And some of her girls are boy crazy.

• 36:18Dax Shepard?

  All love Timothy Chalamet, right? There's like some go-tos.

• 36:21Speaker 02

  Here's who they love. Timothy is a big one. I get it.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  Yep, we all get it.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  My oldest daughter loves Tyler, the creator.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  Oh, great pick.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  She just thinks he's so cool. She like wants to be his friend. And then who else does she like? She had a huge crush on Anthony Davis. Played for the Lakers for years.

• 36:44Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  He was like seven 14.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  She was like, he's so dreamy. Timmy and Tyler, I'd say are the ones. Like I saw Tyler at like Cookbook.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Oh, I know. He hangs out there.

• 36:56Speaker 02

  He loves it. I'm gonna blow up a spot. But if you don't know which one, don't say which one. When I told her that I saw him there, she was like, what?

• 37:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  He's cool.

• 37:07Speaker 01

  So she loves Marty Supreme then?

• 37:08Speaker 02

  We let her watch some of Marty Supreme, but it was stressing her out a little too much. She loves Dune. Loves the Dune.

• 37:15Dax Shepard?

  I do too.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  So do I.

• 37:16Dax Shepard?

  Really good.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Movies are so good.

• 37:18Dax Shepard?

  He's one of these classic guys where it's like, I am predisposed to hate his guts because he's the opposite of me. He's super cute.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  Speaks French.

• 37:27Dax Shepard?

  Every girl loves him. I'm already mad at him.

• 37:29Speaker 02

  He's too good.

• 37:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  Did you guys see Marty Supreme?

• 37:32Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 37:33Dax Shepard?

  He's unreal.

• 37:34Speaker 02

  He's so good. I'm gonna just throw shade. I don't care.

• 37:36Dax Shepard?

  I've really enjoyed the movie.

• 37:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:39Dax Shepard?

  He's so good.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  What the fuck is the guy from Shark Tank doing in there? He's the worst actor I've ever seen in my life.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  Wait, who?

• 37:47Speaker 02

  The fucking guy.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  Who is he?

• 37:48Speaker 02

  Mr. Wonderful.

• 37:49Dax Shepard?

  Bald guy.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  He's Gwyneth's husband.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  And he's up there with Timmy, who's acting his ass off. And that guy's like, his eyes are dark around.

• 37:58Dax Shepard?

  He's also decided to recently go to war with Phineas's sister, Billie Eilish. I think that guy has decided.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  Good person.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  That sounds like a good, uh, it sounds like a good idea for a 97 year old man to attack a 20 year old. But I was just like, I know it's cool. We put non actors in movies. And Marty Supreme, the guy who played his uncle is a journalist named Larry Slowman, who was amazing.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:20Speaker 02

  Mr. Wonderful did not do it. His eyes move around too much. He doesn't have the smoke.

• 38:25Dax Shepard?

  He doesn't have the smoke.

• 38:27Speaker 02

  I said it, let's go. I'm gonna start.

• 38:29Dax Shepard?

  You sound so dialed in. The last time you were here, you educated us on gooning, which we knew nothing about.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that was helpful.

• 38:35Speaker 02

  We're getting deep into the goon community. We call it the GC.

• 38:37Dax Shepard?

  The GC. Have you been asked to host any of these award shows?

• 38:41Speaker 02

  I am hosting the AVNs this year, the Adult Video Awards.

• 38:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, great, in Vegas.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  I'm going to Vegas.

• 38:47Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 38:48Speaker 02

  For a couple of weeks.

• 38:49Dax Shepard?

  They pay pretty well, right? You're getting 12 grand?

• 38:51Speaker 02

  That's like, I have to fly myself out there.

• 38:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:54Speaker 02

  I'm paying for food, local hire. I said I'd be a local hire.

• 38:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, of course. It's so close, why not?

• 38:58Speaker 02

  I'll just drive there. It's fine. Actually, what I'll do, they'll give me a hundred dollar stipend for a flight and I'll drive and use the money.

• 39:03Dax Shepard?

  Okay, for your hotel.

• 39:04Speaker 02

  No, they haven't.

• 39:05Dax Shepard?

  Would you?

• 39:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I think so.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  I mean, it depends.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  You instantly think of the worst.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  I know.

• 39:11Speaker 02

  Ones, but then you think of Nikki Glaser.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  She killed it.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  So fucking funny. Conan, he's so good. So it's like, there's people who are good doing it recently that you know you could be good.

• 39:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  But then you just think of some of the rough ones.

• 39:27Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I had this thought about you today when I was rewatching a lot of stuff. You're kind of fearless in that you'll take on a lot of stuff. You pivoted in the same way I did. Acting wasn't working, started writing, writing starts working really well. Now you're acting again, back and forth. And we're gonna talk about your podcast, you're doing that. Do you ever feel appalled when you watch Chappelle? And he tells a story that is woven together with so much great history that we're not aware of for the most part. He's always exposing some rad part of history that we've missed. And then he lands this plane and you're like, God, that was so fucking moving. Not that I think I'm Chappelle. I feel like I have the capacity to try to attempt to do a stand up thing that has some kind of.

• 40:09Dax Shepard?

  Substantive lasting message. Do you get that tug?

• 40:13Speaker 02

  Oh my God. I made a very conscious decision years ago because people ask me like come and do stand up and I'm probably a lot richer. If I had 10, 15, 20 years ago, the reason I didn't, it really does come down to laziness. Because if you do stand up, at least at first, you've got to do it a lot. Yeah. You gotta do it a lot.

• 40:32Dax Shepard?

  That's the most consistent thing all comics say is like 10 years in, you figure it out.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I was just like, that's such a big amount of time. I also didn't want to put myself in a position where I had that avenue and I could call an agent and be like, see if you can book me a tempeh for like six shows in three nights because I'm broke or I need money. And then I'm on the road. It was really the notion of being on the road. And this is even before I had kids. I'm a homebody. It's a hard life. It's a hard life. I was just like, I would rather try to make it work here. But when you see a great piece of stand, because there's a lot of shit stand up.

• 41:08Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  There's so much. Created so many stand ups. They glutted the market. Now there's guys that are just like, they don't even do jokes. I don't even know what the fuck they do. But when you see someone who is giving something that's like you said, substantial and last.

• 41:21Dax Shepard?

  Thoughtful.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  That is so fucking cool to walk out on stage by yourself, big crowd. And you're doing not just like dumb jokes and fucking crowd work, but profoundly funny and deep thoughts. Yeah. People are cheering. You're like, you know what I would want to do one day? I did like a little thing on Broadway in December, like a short little stand for the show All Out. It was so much fun. I'd never done Broadway before. And I really loved it. And I've always wanted to do one of the greatest, I guess I'll call it a stand up special, but it's more like a one man show is Eddie Izzard. Did a show called Dressed to Kill. This is probably in like 2000. And you can watch it probably on YouTube and Eddie gets up there and it's like 90 minutes.

• 42:04Speaker 02

  Most of it is just like history. It's just talking about why British people are the way they are and Americans and the reformation and takes you just kind of on a tour of Western civilization.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  From 1500 on, and it's so deeply funny and so smart. And to do something like that one day would be like something down the road. I remember Chelsea Peretti, who's one of the funniest standups around, posting a photo years ago of her on her couch, feet wrapped in a blanket, watching some dumb show. Could not look more comfortable. And she's like, I have to be on stage at the improv in 12 minutes.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, no.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. So one day, not today.

• 42:55Dax Shepard?

  This is neither here nor there. What was Christmas this year? Because you had a great story of getting not recognized, recognized at a bar, but you had 20 family members with you. And I just wanted to know if that repeats. What was last Christmas?

• 43:06Speaker 02

  It did not repeat itself. Christmas was more low key, but I was doing this show on Broadway right around Christmas. So I was in New York around the, which you make that face, Monica.

• 43:14Speaker 01

  Cozy face, a little hot chocolate?

• 43:17Speaker 02

  But the reality of it is, when you're working and almost like living in Times Square.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  It's disgusting. Christmas, you can't move, bro. You can't move. And not even like Times Square. I'm talking like 58th and 8th, 60th and 8th. You're like, why are there 7,000 people at this walk sign? And then when you're going through Times Square, it's crazier on Christmas. It's just like guys dressed as the Grinch, chain smoking and like yelling at someone on like an earpiece. And we had to do a show the night of SantaCon. You know what SantaCon is?

• 43:52Dax Shepard?

  No, what's SantaCon? SantaCon or SantaCon?

• 43:54Speaker 02

  SantaCon.

• 43:55Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  It's one of the most depraved.

• 43:59Dax Shepard?

  I can't believe there's not a documentary about it, just hearing the name.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  There might be, and they might've been like, we can't air this. These people are too sick. This is like a week before Christmas on a Friday night or a Saturday night. All these people dress as Santa and they just wreak havoc around New York. They go on a big bar crawl. They get blind drunk. My friend Abby Jacobson was doing the show with me and she took the train in from Brooklyn. And she said she got off at our stop and she's walking up the stairs and there are four guys dressed as Santa, all four of them. Are pissing against the wall.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  And Abby takes your earbuds out and she goes, you're fucking disgusting.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  But it is a gross, you just see like girls dressed as Santa falling down like face down in the gutter.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  Hell.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  Like guys walking into pizzerias who like vomit all over their fucking Santa.

• 44:48Dax Shepard?

  Everyone's living now Billy Bob Thornton's bad Santa.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  How good is bad Santa?

• 44:51Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it's the greatest.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  I'm a fucking lunch break. And that kid's like, do you want me to make you a sandwich? What are you doing to fucking sandwiches, man? What are you doing to fucking sandwiches, kid? I'm not your fucking dad dad.

• 45:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it's incredible.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like that bad Santa, do you?

• 45:10Dax Shepard?

  Another quick question, back to studio. You and Seth combined seem to have about the deepest kind of Hollywood knowledge of people I know. When we were at, it was probably the Emmys and Dan Gilroy won for Andor. And I was really confused because I thought, and this is where my knowledge extends. Tony Gilroy was the creator of Andor.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  Bro.

• 45:31Dax Shepard?

  I didn't know that. And I like looked over and Seth happened to be looking at me at the perfect moment. And I said, does he have a brother? And Seth goes, there's three of them. And I'm like, of course he knows that.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  All I remember at that Emmys was sitting there. Seth is in the front row and Erica, my wife and I are right behind him. And I couldn't have been hungrier.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  So hungry. And Dax and Kay Bell are sitting right across the aisle from us. And I turn and I look and he's eating a fucking hot dog.

• 46:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:01Dax Shepard?

  I have the full spread.

• 46:02Speaker 02

  And I was like, how is he have access to a hot dog?

• 46:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I went out in gen pop into the lobby and stood in a long line and got any snack they had left. I went late and they were mostly all gone. I was really in the market for some popcorn that was gone. So I just want anything they had left.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  And the hot dog is. That was crazy. Erica's like, where did he get that? I'm like, I don't know. And I just lost as fucking.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  I hate it here.

• 46:26Dax Shepard?

  I fucking podcasters.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. But Seth knows a lot of it. I know a lot.

• 46:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So when you guys are geeking out and getting esoteric on set, who goes deeper?

• 46:37Speaker 02

  I would say.

• 46:39Dax Shepard?

  Trying to be.

• 46:40Speaker 02

  I probably, if we were to play like the movie game.

• 46:43Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  Do you know how to play the movie game? Name any movie.

• 46:45Dax Shepard?

  Uh, Breaking Away.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Breaking Away. And I would say Dennis Quaid. And then you would have to say a movie that Dennis Quaid was in.

• 46:51Speaker 01

  Right. Parent Trap.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Parent Trap.

• 46:53Dax Shepard?

  And I say what?

• 46:54Speaker 02

  Someone else who was in Parent Trap.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  Lindsay.

• 46:56Dax Shepard?

  And I can't see Dennis Quaid.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Let's say you couldn't get one, you would get a letter and it's like horse. Oh, great. If we were to play the movie game, I would probably beat him. Okay. But it'd be a long game. He knows more, I think, about like the technical shit of like, no, the lens has to be exactly that. You know what I mean? Like, no, that was shot on a Panasonic. He knows, I think, the filmmaking stuff more. I probably know the trivia more.

• 47:18Speaker 01

  Jeopardy. I mean, you're a champ.

• 47:20Speaker 02

  Sorry, what'd you say?

• 47:21Dax Shepard?

  In champion.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  Excuse me?

• 47:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, you brought your Jeopardy mug. That's great.

• 47:25Speaker 02

  So weird that I grabbed that one.

• 47:26Dax Shepard?

  Okay, and now, last topic before your new podcast.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  You said nude podcast, right?

• 47:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:32Dax Shepard?

  Yes, nude, nude.

• 47:32Speaker 02

  We'll talk about it.

• 47:34Dax Shepard?

  You're in a movie called Artificial.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 47:37Dax Shepard?

  And you're playing Elon Musk.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  Big deal, Ike.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  Well, I hope so. I haven't seen it. I'm nervous, but he's such a great director, that guy.

• 47:43Dax Shepard?

  Luca.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Luca Guadagnino.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 47:45Dax Shepard?

  Hit me with the last name again.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  Guadagnino.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  We're talking Challengers.

• 47:49Speaker 02

  I know.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  The movie's a lot like Challengers, and I'm like Zendaya.

• 47:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, you lucky girl.

• 47:55Speaker 02

  My fucking dream.

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Who's the Josh O'Connor?

• 47:57Speaker 02

  That would be Andrew Garfield, and then the other one is Yurba Borisov. It's not like Challengers at all.

• 48:04Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, I'm so excited.

• 48:05Dax Shepard?

  But it's a story of OpenAI and Sam Altman.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  It's the OpenAI story. They tell it in a way only Luca can.

• 48:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so walk me through how you end up in that movie, what your fear level is, all that stuff.

• 48:18Speaker 02

  I got a call, but they're like, hey, they're making this movie and would like to talk to you about Elon. And at first I was like, I'm not interested. I don't want anything to do with that fucking guy. But then they were like, it's Luca Guadagnino, and I'm a huge fan. I've been a fan for a very long time. I don't know if you've ever seen it. What's the fucking movie with Tilda Swinton and Ralph Fiennes and Dakota Johnson? I love that movie. I loved I Am Love, which I think was one of his first movies. He's just like a beautiful storyteller, real master. So I was like, let me talk to Luca and we'll see. And I talked to him and he's so charming.

• 48:53Dax Shepard?

  But let's back up. Before he woo's you, is your reservation, there's people you don't want to play? Or you're afraid you don't have the talent for it?

• 49:00Speaker 02

  I wanted to spend my whole fucking life. I wanted to die. And never have Elon Musk know my name. That was one of my goals in life.

• 49:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 49:07Speaker 02

  So I would have to forsake that, but then I met with him.

• 49:10Dax Shepard?

  So it's just your detest for?

• 49:12Speaker 02

  I just think they're dangerous guys. You will live a probably more blessed life if you're not on their radar.

• 49:16Speaker 01

  Nothing to do with that.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  That's just how I feel. But I met with him and I told him my reservation and he was like, well, it's not about you. It's about you finding what makes him think he is human, which I think is a very smart way. It's not about whether or not you think he is, it's about whether or not he thinks he is.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  Very smart.

• 49:35Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's a very age old, you can't be judgmental of a character you're playing.

• 49:38Speaker 02

  You can't be.

• 49:39Dax Shepard?

  Or you can be and it'll be a pretty cartoonish.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Well, then it would just be like Mad TV where I'd be like, oh God, I was like so woke, like, what are we doing? But this is like a real movie and it takes place, not necessarily in this moment where everyone is at their max levels. It's encasing many, many years and all kinds of things. And it was a great script and just great actors. Do you know, have you seen Onora? You guys saw Onora?

• 50:00Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  Is that guy, you know, like the bald guy? Yeah, he's incredible. He's like the main guy in it. He is like a monster. Fuck, it's such a great actor.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  Sweetest, most unassuming guy, but when you're acting, you got those big Russian eyes in your face. You're like, okay, all right, what are we doing?

• 50:17Dax Shepard?

  How do you start trying to be him?

• 50:20Speaker 02

  Watch.

• 50:21Dax Shepard?

  Watching YouTube?

• 50:21Speaker 01

  Did you read the Walter Isaacson book?

• 50:23Speaker 02

  I read some of it. The book doesn't help as much as watching. It's just like injecting poison into my brain and watching everything I could find and especially from that period. So it was just a lot of watching stuff.

• 50:37Dax Shepard?

  Do you start though, doing the accent for your wife first?

• 50:42Speaker 02

  Well, it's such a sexy accent. It's so hot. Maybe a little bit here and there. Well, the good news is we had a whole week of rehearsal.

• 50:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  Which you don't get a lot anymore. And we went to Italy and he had us at his incredible villa. Like an hour and a half outside of Turin where he cooks for you.

• 51:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh my God.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  It's so crazy. And we got to really work on it. But then they were all nice. Andrew Garfield, love the guy and Monica and it was great. Is Cooper Hoffman.

• 51:11Dax Shepard?

  You got two Coopers in that film.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Two Coopers.

• 51:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you got two Coopers in that.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  Who the other Cooper?

• 51:16Dax Shepard?

  I'd have to look it up, but this morning when I was looking at the cast list, I was like,

• 51:19Speaker 02

  Oh, Cooper Koch. Oh, duh. Yeah.

• 51:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, duh.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  Duh, fucking.

• 51:22Dax Shepard?

  Dang.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  They got fucking Cooper Koch.

• 51:23Dax Shepard?

  They got Cooper coming out of the car.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  And we got Cooper Koch from the fucking Ryan Murphy show, pafago. He played one of the fucking brothers who killed his parents and kissed his brother.

• 51:33Dax Shepard?

  Hey, are you gonna forget fucking Cooper?

• 51:36Speaker 02

  The New York guy who loves Ryan Murphy. Have you seen the new fucking show with Ashton Kutcher?

• 51:40Dax Shepard?

  You've seen Beauty?

• 51:40Speaker 02

  Beauty.

• 51:41Dax Shepard?

  Fuck me.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Fuck, you know, his great actors are fucking Evan Peters. That guy, that guy is fucking great.

• 51:47Dax Shepard?

  The fucking effects on that show?

• 51:49Speaker 02

  You know, Ryan Murphy, I don't know how this fucking guy sleeps. He's got fucking Beauty. He's got the fucking JFK show. When does he fucking sleep?

• 52:01Speaker 02

  And he's also, he's very attentive to his husband and his fucking kids.

• 52:07Dax Shepard?

  He's all in. So, great actors. It was fun. Was it fun?

• 52:11Speaker 02

  So fun. Shot in Italy. What part of Italy were you in? We were up north in Torino.

• 52:15Dax Shepard?

  Is that where the Olympics were just at?

• 52:17Speaker 02

  Milan, yeah. They were like around that in Milan, Cortona, fucking Bologna.

• 52:21Dax Shepard?

  Ah, yeah. Home of the Bugatti factory.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  Yo, Bologna is, in my opinion, best food in Italy, Bologna. Cause it's the whole Emilio Campania region. That's Parmigiano, that's beef, that's Barolo, that's the shit. Some nice vitello carpaccio.

• 52:37Dax Shepard?

  Pounding. Were you putting?

• 52:39Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, cause I had to work and play Elon, that body. So, I was like pounding pasta on the grony thing.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  It was great, man. I loved it.

• 52:50Speaker 01

  What are your go-to meals that you make since you're a cook? I just wanna know personally.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  The thing I make best are chicken cutlets.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  Chicken cutlet mashed potato.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  I make a chicken cutlet that rivals any schnitzel, any South Jersey Italian deli.

• 53:03Dax Shepard?

  It would kill you to invite me over for that, or?

• 53:05Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 53:06Dax Shepard?

  Okay. I mean, just like, whenever you're having it, you just text me, you wanna try this, and I cruise over.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  It wouldn't just be you, it'd be Kristen.

• 53:13Dax Shepard?

  I'd prefer it was just me. I would like a break.

• 53:15Speaker 02

  My family would prefer it.

• 53:18Dax Shepard?

  It would be best for my family if your whole family came.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  It'd be strange if you came. But that's something that I really love. I'm obsessed with potatoes. I really like went crazy. I think, starting during COVID, I was like, I'm going to become a potato master.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Really?

• 53:33Dax Shepard?

  It's a great, great. Foundation for everything, right? Every shape they come in is great.

• 53:38Speaker 02

  You know what I love? You gotta get big rusted potatoes. Those are the best now. And you cut them into like thick fries, but then you roast them in a ton of olive oil and a little bit of like beef fat.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  Those things are like, yeah, I'm gonna make that tomorrow night.

• 53:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay. Again, you have my number. I'll swing by.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Swing by.

• 53:56Dax Shepard?

  It's a short. I bring my family.

• 53:57Speaker 02

  Bring the family.

• 53:58Dax Shepard?

  We'll see.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  Let's just let you. I'm setting the table. I'm setting it for nine. I also love going on Instagram and just seeing what home cooks are doing now. There's this guy named like Giovanni Syracuse. I'm all about now like, what can I do for exactly 45 minutes? From like my first chop to my plate down. And he does a lot of very family friendly.

• 54:21Dax Shepard?

  Fast.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  Fast, but yummy, healthy. I try to cook as healthy as I can at home.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  That beef tallow.

• 54:27Speaker 02

  The beef tallow is, you know, I only put a little bit in. Man, every fucking dumbass thing now. People are like, seed oils. See, oh, you took a seed oil, you're fucking dead instantly. Beef tallow.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  Beef tallow. And it's like, listen.

• 54:39Dax Shepard?

  It's become political.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  It's become political. And I like beef tallow. Like when I'm making steak and potatoes, I use a little beef tallow. I just saw an ad where they're like, now our chicken tenders, fried in beef tallow. I'm like, no.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  I know.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  Fucking, fucking, I don't want my chicken to taste like beef.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  Just fucking use peanut oil. I don't get it. It's like a political thing now. It's just dopey. I don't get it. I don't get it.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:00Speaker 02

  What if I took off my hat and I was completely bald?

• 55:03Dax Shepard?

  Because you're not having any beef tallow. Still on PRP up there?

• 55:07Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:08Dax Shepard?

  Still doing that?

• 55:08Speaker 02

  Not too long ago.

• 55:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  I saw my boys.

• 55:11Dax Shepard?

  You got on the gas.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  Got on the gas, little zing zing, zing zing.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 55:15Dax Shepard?

  I should try that. I'm doing a topical in the morning and at night, and my hair is so greasy and gross.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  It's so gross. Do you have like the fucking yellow patch on your bed? Cause I put the drops in at night. And then one day my wife was like looking at our bed. She goes, oh.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:30Speaker 02

  And it's just like, like a discoloration exactly where I play Wordle, where my head. And it's like so clearly my shit.

• 55:37Dax Shepard?

  Your finasteride.

• 55:38Speaker 02

  It's like in Coming to America, the Soul Glow. When they all stand up and they have.

• 55:42Dax Shepard?

  Let your soul glow.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  I still get my work done a little bit on that.

• 55:47Dax Shepard?

  Okay, now we're here to talk about Funny You Ask.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  Funny You Ask. Do you guys know what a podcast is? Have you ever heard of this?

• 55:54Dax Shepard?

  We are familiar with the format.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  I thought it was a good time to get in.

• 55:57Dax Shepard?

  Yes, it is an ideal time.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  Many years after we asked you to get in, by the way.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  You came to my house and we're like, you need to do this. I just didn't have the thing. I didn't know what it.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  No one will force it.

• 56:09Dax Shepard?

  I have no resentment. I have no bitterness whatsoever. Nothing but rooting for you.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  If you win the Golden Globe, we will be upset.

• 56:16Dax Shepard?

  He will.

• 56:16Speaker 02

  That will be, yeah.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  That's gonna be tough.

• 56:18Dax Shepard?

  How did the idea hit you this time? You're in the shower.

• 56:21Speaker 02

  I'm in the shower. I'm cleaning my butt.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  Getting that finger up there.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  I have a mirror at the ceiling of my bath. I lay on my back and kind of hoist my legs up so I can watch myself cleaning.

• 56:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:33Speaker 02

  Takes about a half hour.

• 56:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  And then the next day I thought of the idea.

• 56:39Speaker 02

  No, I was talking to this guy. We had a mutual friend and we were just kind of chatting over lunch. And I, as you know, I love trivia. I love My Jeopardy, My Millionaire, I love all that stuff. And I was just like, I love when I find out someone knows something about something. Like when you find out someone is randomly like, oh yeah, no, I'm a fan of that. And I can kind of answer questions about it. I was like, oh, what if I could just talk to my funny friends? Ask them questions and then riff, enter the riff zone.

• 57:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  And so we kind of just did it.

• 57:09Dax Shepard?

  I have so much intellectual vanity that it immediately gave me anxiety. Cause you invited me on and not only did I say yes, I've even reached out to you, like, when are we recording? That's not typical of a guest.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 57:21Dax Shepard?

  I'm pursuing your show.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  You are, which I really appreciate. I want to tell everyone, to assuage you, no one is gonna walk out where they're like, I didn't get anything right. I'm a moron. I have to commit seppuku. I need a second to administer the death blow. That is not gonna happen. I write my guest questions myself and I make sure that I'm not going to like make anyone feel dumb.

• 57:45Dax Shepard?

  But here's where I'm talking about the intellectual vanity and anxiety struck me is you're gonna cement it logically in whatever my presumed expertise is, right? Like minimally, probably what I majored in in college. But. If we make it about Anthro and I fuck it up, this is something else. But if you ask me about biology or neuroscience and I shock you because that's not supposed to be. Do you know what I'm saying here? I shine better when I like, oh, I wouldn't have thought he knew anything about that. But now we're talking about the thing I'm supposed to know something about. That's where it gets tricky for me.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:18Dax Shepard?

  When my fear.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Again, my goal of it is to like, make it to the first round of questions. You should know them.

• 58:26Dax Shepard?

  They're softballs.

• 58:26Speaker 02

  I don't want to say softballs, but if you know something about it, you'll probably know it.

• 58:29Dax Shepard?

  Hardball, about 40 mile an hour pitch.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  A an EpiS pitch. Just it's very high, can be difficult to hit. But then as it gets on, especially as we get to the later speed rounds and stuff. There'll be some ones in there that it's gonna stretch your brain a little bit.

• 58:40Dax Shepard?

  Oh my.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  So there are gonna be points? Is it like a score?

• 58:44Speaker 02

  The scoring system, it's completely arbitrary and I make it up every time.

• 58:48Speaker 01

  Oh, funny.

• 58:48Speaker 02

  And I'll give you a bonus point if you answer the question in a funny way. So there's no scoring, there's no winning, there's no losing.

• 58:54Dax Shepard?

  But you will rank the guests at the end of the year, who is the smartest?

• 58:57Speaker 02

  That's the call sheet betting market. I have nothing to do with that.

• 59:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  That is a joke, by the way. I'm not affiliated with call sheets. I'm affiliated with Kashi.

• 59:06Dax Shepard?

  Kashi.

• 59:07Speaker 02

  The granola, the muesli. Not the other one.

• 59:11Dax Shepard?

  So you've done, you've had?

• 59:12Speaker 02

  Who have I had? I've had Kimmel, I've had Kate Hudson, I've had Tiffany Haddish, Dave Franco and Mindy Kaling.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 59:19Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so what was Mindy's category? Was it television?

• 59:23Speaker 02

  Mindy's categories were fashion.

• 59:25Dax Shepard?

  Fashion, great.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Love it.

• 59:27Speaker 02

  80s Boston Celtics.

• 59:29Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  And Indian food.

• 59:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because her father was a huge Celtics fan, right?

• 59:34Speaker 02

  She like grew up going to Celtics games and Indian food, which I'm a big Indian food guy. So I had a lot of fun writing those. The most fun for me is writing the questions. I'm living my fantasy of being a Jeopardy writer. The guests ask me questions, but 0% do I see those. Those are written by my producer, Annabelle.

• 59:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  She keeps them separate from everyone, so I am 100% surprised.

• 59:54Dax Shepard?

  Fully compartmentalized.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  Yes, honor system.

• 59:56Dax Shepard?

  I bet you're experiencing the same joy I have, which is our Wednesday guests are always experts on some generally academic topic that I have to brush up on in anticipation of their arrival. And so I love that part.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, especially if I have a guest who has interests like Dave Franco. One of his was movies from the year 1999. Which nineteen ninety nine is a lot of people think was like the best year of movies.

• 1:00:23Dax Shepard?

  Really? What do we have? We're making a point lately that the Academy Awards is less and less relevant because there's fifty movies. Only one of them would have made the top ten in ninety nine, if that, there we go.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  Here we go. You're getting glasses. I'll read you a quick little list. Here we go.

• 1:00:36Dax Shepard?

  Cute glasses, too.

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  Thank you. All right, you ready for this? Magnolia, Eyes Wide Shut, The Matrix, The Sixth Sense, Office Space, Bing, John Malkovich,

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  The Green Mile, Fight Club.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:00:52Speaker 02

  Uh, uh, uh, hold on, I'm trying to think of some other ones. Uh, American Beauty was on there.

• 1:00:57Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm trying to think what else. It's crazy.

• 1:01:02Dax Shepard?

  This is my point. There are more movies that are gonna stand the test of time in that list than there have been in the last eight years.

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  This is awesome.

• 1:01:09Dax Shepard?

  It's just a volume thing. It's a volume thing. I'm not critical of any single person, but it's a total volume game.

• 1:01:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, totally. But anyways, for that one, I was so excited because I got to fucking just watch.

• 1:01:20Dax Shepard?

  And is Franco, is that like, what age was he at? Why is that the year for him?

• 1:01:24Speaker 02

  He was just a young guy and he worked in a video store in like the Bay Area.

• 1:01:29Dax Shepard?

  He knows them all.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  All his friends were like watching American Pie and he's like, you need to see Bing John Malkovich.

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, I feel like I have no expertise.

• 1:01:37Speaker 02

  No, you could do cheerleading, you could do the Olympics, you could do fashion.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  Six Olympics gymnastics only.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  That is Atlanta.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  That's Atlanta, that's right.

• 1:01:46Dax Shepard?

  She was in Atlanta at the time.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Well, I was actually in Tennessee at the time.

• 1:01:50Speaker 02

  Did you see Richard Jewell while you were there? Do you know who Richard Jewell is?

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  Richard Jewell, you know who Richard Jewell is? Well, the man who was accused of being the bomber, who was not the bomber.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  Centennial Park.

• 1:02:02Speaker 02

  They actually made a movie about it a few years ago that Clint directed.

• 1:02:05Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  That is low key pretty great.

• 1:02:07Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:02:08Speaker 02

  You know Paul Walter Hauser?

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  He plays Richard Jewell.

• 1:02:11Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  He's so good in it, dude. He's great in everything. And his lawyer is Rockwell.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  I mean, there's always gonna be some weird shit and you switch stuff.

• 1:02:20Dax Shepard?

  Movie, yeah.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  But his performance, the feds done him dirty, man. He was just a nerdy guy and they were like.

• 1:02:29Speaker 02

  Sketchy guy.

• 1:02:31Dax Shepard?

  Looks like he'd be a bomber.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  Looks like he might be a bomber. Ham is the FBI agent. He's like, this guy might be a bomber.

• 1:02:38Dax Shepard?

  Based on the fact that he's, it looks like a dude in high school I didn't trust.

• 1:02:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. He looks like a guy I bullied in high school.

• 1:02:45Dax Shepard?

  I used to push a lot.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  Fun movie.

• 1:02:47Dax Shepard?

  What was Kimmel's expertise?

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  Kimmel was pizza pie.

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  Eighties music.

• 1:02:55Dax Shepard?

  Did you hit him with any Huey Lewis trivia?

• 1:02:57Speaker 02

  I know he's such a Huey fan that I withheld.

• 1:02:59Dax Shepard?

  He might be the number one Huey Lewis fan.

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  Biggest Huey fan. There's not a Huey question you could ask him.

• 1:03:04Dax Shepard?

  He would outdo Huey in a.

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 1:03:06Dax Shepard?

  Thousand percent. Did you see how I just accidentally came over and said, you go a hundred percent, go a thousand percent. This guy, I'm just impulsively. It's like my instinct.

• 1:03:14Speaker 02

  What you said times 10.

• 1:03:16Dax Shepard?

  To the 10th, whatever, to the 10th.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  He loves Marvel Comics. He was like a big Marvel Comics nerd.

• 1:03:21Dax Shepard?

  Kate, I must know.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  Kate was female singer songwriters.

• 1:03:25Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's very on brand.

• 1:03:27Speaker 02

  Very on brand. Cocktails.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Oh, nice.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  She loves a good cocktail. And then her other one was, oh, well, she was nineties movies, but kind of more the whole decade.

• 1:03:37Dax Shepard?

  I threw in a couple Kurt Russell questions for her. Did she get them?

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  Cute. And what are yours gonna be?

• 1:03:43Dax Shepard?

  Can you remember what I told you?

• 1:03:44Speaker 02

  I'm presuming.

• 1:03:45Dax Shepard?

  Anthropology. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:46Speaker 02

  One was motorcycles. And then the third one, I think.

• 1:03:49Dax Shepard?

  I would prefer cars over motorcycles.

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  I think it was cars slash motorcycles.

• 1:03:53Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  Anthropologies or evolution.

• 1:03:56Dax Shepard?

  Tractors.

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  It's not gonna be tractors.

• 1:03:57Dax Shepard?

  It's not.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  I don't want to fucking read about tractors for an hour.

• 1:04:01Dax Shepard?

  Well, Lamborghini made tractors. I have a boner for some of these sixties Lamborghini tractors. They started as a tractor company.

• 1:04:08Speaker 02

  They did?

• 1:04:08Dax Shepard?

  Yes, but the Lambo style is in a tractor. It's so cool. And there's train track ones.

• 1:04:13Speaker 02

  The good thing about it is you love that carmaker, but you have all those crops out there that have not been cut.

• 1:04:18Dax Shepard?

  Exactly.

• 1:04:19Speaker 02

  So two birds, one stone.

• 1:04:21Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:04:22Speaker 02

  One expensive stone that you have to transfer here from another country.

• 1:04:25Dax Shepard?

  I think the story, no, that might be Ducati.

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  This is actually interesting. So you have to pick categories that also are gonna be interesting to an audience.

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  A little bit, and that will also inspire.

• 1:04:36Dax Shepard?

  Are you saying we lost people on the Lamborghini tractor?

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  I mean, this is actually a pretty good riff, so we should save it, maybe.

• 1:04:41Dax Shepard?

  The government did come to, I think Lamborghini was like, we need you to make vehicles.

• 1:04:46Speaker 02

  We need a tractor, but the sexy.

• 1:04:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, in a kind of you can put a four wheels on, and that is an automobile.

• 1:04:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you still can smoke a cigarette on your job.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  I've turned it off. I've turned it off.

• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  You've turned it off. You're just like in another fucking place right now. You're thinking about someone doing a floor routine in 1996.

• 1:05:02Speaker 01

  That's right. Dominique Mochianu.

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:05:05Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure. And then it's obviously leading, it's a jump off.

• 1:05:09Speaker 02

  It's a jump off point, just so we can have fun. It's just fun to ask you. I brought questions. Is that a pack of cigarettes or?

• 1:05:15Dax Shepard?

  It's a pack of Trivial Pursuit questions I brought.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay. These are, I have not read these.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be zero points.

• 1:05:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, we're gonna do it to each other.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Oh, this is so fun.

• 1:05:26Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so how do we play this game?

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  Uh, just go around and we'll ask questions.

• 1:05:29Dax Shepard?

  And you have to go in order, top to bottom?

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  You're gonna ask us some questions.

• 1:05:33Dax Shepard?

  Let's go top to bottom. So I don't want any like cherry picking.

• 1:05:35Speaker 02

  What nation's Pantanal wetland is home to 270 bird species?

• 1:05:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I have a guess. Argentina.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  Close. Brazil.

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:05:47Speaker 02

  That's where we're gonna come to Brazil. All right, ask me one.

• 1:05:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay. What worthy Texas city opened the National Cowgirl Museum and Hall of Fame in 2002?

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  I would say Dallas or Fort Worth because of worthy.

• 1:06:00Dax Shepard?

  I bet it's gonna be that. Let's see. Fort Worth.

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  Fort Worth. All right.

• 1:06:03Dax Shepard?

  We had a little clue in there.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  That was tough.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  Monica, ask us one.

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  I don't wanna go top to bottom. I wanna find a.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, find a good one.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, we gotta find a good one.

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  I don't trust you. Oh, AE is one of the.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  What do you mean you don't trust me?

• 1:06:13Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:06:15Speaker 02

  AE is one of the.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  Okay, fine. I'll do AE. Yes.

• 1:06:17Speaker 02

  That's arts and entertainment.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  Okay, great. You guys are gonna get this.

• 1:06:19Dax Shepard?

  This is my weakest one.

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  What director claimed blondes make the best victims because, quote, "They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprint."

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  On the count of three.

• 1:06:28Dax Shepard?

  Three, two, one. Hitchcock.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  Good job.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  Which future Charlie's Angel provided the singing voice of melody for TV's Josie and the Pussycats?

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:06:39Speaker 02

  This is one where it's like.

• 1:06:41Dax Shepard?

  I'm out.

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:06:42Dax Shepard?

  I don't know the names of all the angels. Farrah Fawcett's one.

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  She was one.

• 1:06:46Dax Shepard?

  But she didn't sing.

• 1:06:47Speaker 02

  Jaclyn Smith was one.

• 1:06:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  Kate Jackson. And the answer to this one, I believe, is Cheryl Ladd.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  Okay, never, never.

• 1:06:55Speaker 02

  I never like arts and entertainment. Go ahead, ask one.

• 1:06:57Dax Shepard?

  Okay, next one. I'm gonna skip arts. No, I'll do arts and entertainment. I'm going in order, despite. What beloved actor did columnist David Anson eulogize in 2001 as the Paganini of Panic? Pagani?

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  Paganini of Panic.

• 1:07:15Dax Shepard?

  Paganini of Panic.

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  Which beloved actor died in 2001?

• 1:07:20Dax Shepard?

  Panic? Who was like an actor who was constantly panicked?

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  Who died in 2001?

• 1:07:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, who died in 2001?

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:07:29Dax Shepard?

  Who was like always scared?

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  Was it Farrah Fawcett?

• 1:07:31Dax Shepard?

  For some reason, I feel like it's a male actor.

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:35Dax Shepard?

  It's a big male actor.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  Oh, it is?

• 1:07:37Speaker 02

  Marlon Brando.

• 1:07:38Dax Shepard?

  Uh, Jack Lemmon.

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  Jack Lemmon, that's right, I should have known that one. Jack Lemmon died in 2001. He did not see 2002.

• 1:07:49Speaker 01

  I'm gonna go, oh.

• 1:07:50Dax Shepard?

  Let's do history or science or something, you know?

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  Okay, what's SN?

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  Science and nature.

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  What button is disabled in almost all elevators, according to Global Elevator Technologies?

• 1:08:01Speaker 02

  I know some things don't have a 13th floor, but I don't think that's it. Button is disabled?

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  In almost all elevators?

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say.

• 1:08:09Dax Shepard?

  I know.

• 1:08:09Speaker 02

  Stop.

• 1:08:11Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I'm gonna say the door open button.

• 1:08:13Speaker 02

  I think it's door close.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  Hey, good job, Rob!

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  Was it door close?

• 1:08:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  He got it!

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  So when I see someone walking and I'm hitting the door close button, it does nothing?

• 1:08:20Speaker 01

  It doesn't work!

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  Shit, I feel like it works for me too.

• 1:08:23Dax Shepard?

  But also, I would have thought doors open, because if you're like mid-transit, you're dropping floors and you're trying to hit the door open. It must be disabled, so you can't open the doors while it's in motion.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:08:32Dax Shepard?

  Or ever, you shouldn't be able to prematurely have it open the doors. It should be in charge when the doors are open.

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  I agree with that one.

• 1:08:41Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  What Londoner ticked off her fellow designers in 2000 by narrating an anti fur video?

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  Oh, I should maybe know this, an anti fur video.

• 1:09:03Speaker 02

  What Londoner?

• 1:09:04Speaker 01

  Her fellow designers.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  Fellow designers.

• 1:09:06Speaker 01

  Diane von Furstenberg?

• 1:09:08Speaker 02

  It's not.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  She's not a Londoner and it wouldn't be.

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  I'll give you a hint, her father is not from London.

• 1:09:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay, Donna Verdi, Cello, whatever her name is, Donna.

• 1:09:18Speaker 02

  She's Italian.

• 1:09:19Speaker 01

  Versace.

• 1:09:20Speaker 02

  The father sometimes talked like this.

• 1:09:22Dax Shepard?

  Well, but I thought you just said her dad was.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  He's not from London.

• 1:09:26Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  The dad is not from London, but she.

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  He's from a different British city. Maybe Liverpool?

• 1:09:33Dax Shepard?

  He's a Beatle.

• 1:09:35Speaker 02

  Oh, Stella McCartney.

• 1:09:36Dax Shepard?

  There you go.

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  Oh. Good job.

• 1:09:39Speaker 02

  I thought her dad wasn't from London, dude.

• 1:09:42Dax Shepard?

  Her father once got up, got out of bed and ran a cold across his head. Okay. What American at Oxford was Britain's fifth most eligible woman in 2001, according to the Tattler magazine?

• 1:10:01Speaker 02

  So what American at Oxford in 2001?

• 1:10:05Dax Shepard?

  Was Britain's fifth most eligible woman in 2001?

• 1:10:09Speaker 02

  Oh, I have an idea. Is it an actress?

• 1:10:12Dax Shepard?

  I don't know, but the gal that was in the Pirates movies.

• 1:10:15Speaker 02

  Keira Knightley?

• 1:10:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:17Speaker 02

  Keira Knightley, but she's not American.

• 1:10:19Speaker 01

  Not American, yeah.

• 1:10:20Dax Shepard?

  Oh, American, no, she's certainly not American. What famous actress went to college in, at Oxford?

• 1:10:25Speaker 02

  I'm gonna guess Natalie Portman.

• 1:10:27Speaker 01

  No, she didn't go to Oxford.

• 1:10:28Dax Shepard?

  She went to Harvard.

• 1:10:29Speaker 02

  My name's fucking Natalie Portman.

• 1:10:31Dax Shepard?

  I know, look at the, uh.

• 1:10:32Speaker 02

  Fucking snowed everywhere.

• 1:10:33Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:10:34Speaker 01

  Can you give a hint?

• 1:10:35Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  I don't think it's an actor.

• 1:10:37Dax Shepard?

  Her father is from London.

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  Stella McCartney.

• 1:10:42Dax Shepard?

  The clue I would give would be just so telling. I'm gonna reread the question, okay?

• 1:10:45Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  What American at Oxford was Britain's fifth most eligible woman? That would be my daughter, Chelsea Clinton. That's my daughter. Hands off her, hands off.

• 1:10:56Speaker 01

  Good job.

• 1:10:57Speaker 02

  Chelsea, I'd love to come visit you and your co-host in Oxford, is that possible? I don't wanna miss. No, Dad. We're good.

• 1:11:03Dax Shepard?

  We're straight.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  Are you sure?

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  They're testifying, I think, very soon.

• 1:11:07Dax Shepard?

  Right now.

• 1:11:08Speaker 01

  Right now, right? Yeah.

• 1:11:10Dax Shepard?

  Should we go live to it? Rob, go live.

• 1:11:12Speaker 02

  I did not have sexual relations on Epstein's Island.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  All right. You guys like history?

• 1:11:18Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 1:11:19Dax Shepard?

  It's his go to.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  What admiral was the first person to fly over both the North and South Poles?

• 1:11:27Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:11:27Speaker 01

  I have a hint, if you need it.

• 1:11:30Speaker 02

  I want to say Admanson, but I don't know if he was flying. I think he might have been pre-flight because they said fly over.

• 1:11:38Dax Shepard?

  This would be probably in the twenties.

• 1:11:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, probably twenties Admiral Ackbar from Star Wars.

• 1:11:45Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna go with Ackbar too.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  It's not any of the discoverers. It's not Perry or Admanson.

• 1:11:50Dax Shepard?

  Or Fitzgerald.

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  Shackelford was another one. Was he maybe Everest Shackelford?

• 1:11:55Dax Shepard?

  Not the Edmund Fitzgerald.

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  It's not the Reckless, that's not Fitzgerald.

• 1:12:01Speaker 01

  His last name is very apropos. Flying over the North and South.

• 1:12:06Speaker 02

  John Planes? Maybe Polar.

• 1:12:09Dax Shepard?

  No, Jon Snow.

• 1:12:10Speaker 02

  Jon Snow.

• 1:12:12Speaker 01

  It's Jon Snow. No, it's Richard Byrd.

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  Richard Byrd.

• 1:12:16Dax Shepard?

  That doesn't ring about.

• 1:12:17Speaker 02

  I had never heard that. I actually think that's a fake name. What rodents meat do three out of four Peruvians munch? Oh, easy. Believing it cures arthritis.

• 1:12:26Dax Shepard?

  Easy. You're right.

• 1:12:28Speaker 01

  Do three, two, one?

• 1:12:29Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I was just giving you time to.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought you wanted to guess.

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  I didn't want to be a dick and just blur it.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:12:34Dax Shepard?

  The Copibarra?

• 1:12:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:12:36Speaker 01

  Matt?

• 1:12:36Speaker 02

  Fucking guinea pig.

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  Oh, ew.

• 1:12:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:12:39Dax Shepard?

  Hey, I'm obsessed with Copibarra's.

• 1:12:40Speaker 02

  They're the greatest.

• 1:12:41Dax Shepard?

  Went to a Copibarra sanctuary where they like walk up to you and kind of sit next to you and get in your face.

• 1:12:47Speaker 02

  They're adorable. I'm not a big rodent guy in general.

• 1:12:51Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:12:51Speaker 02

  Copibarra's.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  I didn't even know they qualified.

• 1:12:54Speaker 02

  I think it's in Mexico.

• 1:12:55Dax Shepard?

  They're the world's largest rodent.

• 1:12:56Speaker 02

  They don't look like.

• 1:12:57Dax Shepard?

  They look like Caitlin Shetland.

• 1:12:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're kind of like a Star Wars toy.

• 1:13:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, like an Ewok. Okay, here we go. How many blowholes does a baleen whale boast?

• 1:13:08Speaker 01

  I'm gonna say zero.

• 1:13:10Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say two.

• 1:13:11Dax Shepard?

  It's two.

• 1:13:13Speaker 02

  I'm guessing. I'm not a blowhole guy. I had my blowhole removed last year. I don't even like,

• 1:13:17Dax Shepard?

  You're a blowhard.

• 1:13:18Speaker 02

  I don't even like to think about it.

• 1:13:19Dax Shepard?

  Blowhard.

• 1:13:20Speaker 02

  What do you got, Monica?

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  Okay. I really wanna do a hard one.

• 1:13:23Speaker 02

  I have two more questions after this, I might.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  What South African corporation sells two thirds of the world's diamonds?

• 1:13:30Speaker 02

  Oh, we know this. Three, two, one.

• 1:13:33Dax Shepard?

  The Bears.

• 1:13:33Speaker 01

  Good job. Yes.

• 1:13:34Dax Shepard?

  The Bears.

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  You got it.

• 1:13:38Speaker 02

  Where'd you get your wife's ring?

• 1:13:39Dax Shepard?

  The Bears.

• 1:13:40Speaker 02

  The Bears.

• 1:13:44Speaker 02

  Uh, what about, what NBA superstar maintains anonymity by registering at hotels as Vladimir Mandingo?

• 1:13:54Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:13:55Speaker 02

  This one I don't know. I'm looking.

• 1:13:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I mean, I think here's a time to go with your number one prankster in the NBA.

• 1:14:01Speaker 01

  Which is who?

• 1:14:02Dax Shepard?

  Shaquille O'Neal.

• 1:14:02Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a good guess.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  Yes, it is, Dax Shepard.

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  Wow, that's really good.

• 1:14:08Dax Shepard?

  I would've said like, you know, Durant or something. Or, or, or Vladi Diva.

• 1:14:11Speaker 02

  Vladi, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:13Dax Shepard?

  Takes you to Russians.

• 1:14:14Speaker 02

  Shaq, very impressive.

• 1:14:16Dax Shepard?

  What was it?

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  Mandingo.

• 1:14:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he's always got a dick joke going. He famously put a Subway sandwich in his shorts one time.

• 1:14:23Speaker 01

  Wow, I'm impressed.

• 1:14:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  That was good.

• 1:14:25Dax Shepard?

  What product did Singapore agree to let residents use as long as they had a prescription in order to secure a US free trade agreement?

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  I think I know what this is.

• 1:14:35Dax Shepard?

  I think I do too.

• 1:14:36Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say chewing gum.

• 1:14:38Dax Shepard?

  I haven't looked, but.

• 1:14:40Speaker 01

  How do you guys know this stuff?

• 1:14:42Speaker 02

  Cause there was a guy in the nineties, a kid who was in Singapore. People will say it's the cleanest place in the world. It's like Disneyland.

• 1:14:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:48Speaker 02

  The flip side to that is, this American dude, I think, just took a piece of gum and threw it on the ground or put it on a wall. They caned him and took a bamboo stick and whipped his ass like 10 times, I feel like.

• 1:15:00Dax Shepard?

  That was in the nineties.

• 1:15:02Speaker 02

  Big news story.

• 1:15:02Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:15:03Dax Shepard?

  And I went with my mother to Singapore in probably 98, and we specifically brought gum and chewed it. That's why I knew it. We decided to just be outlaws by chewing gum.

• 1:15:16Speaker 02

  Smart. Going to a foreign country where they have draconian laws. Let's break a few.

• 1:15:21Dax Shepard?

  That's our spirit. Chewing gum. Yep. You got it.

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:15:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, really good.

• 1:15:24Speaker 02

  Give us one more.

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  Okay, let's, let's do this.

• 1:15:26Dax Shepard?

  I'd love that you carry these. Bree and I used to, my ex-girlfriend. We would go to a restaurant and just have the stack of them in her purse.

• 1:15:32Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  What veteran ABC announcer nixed NBC's invitation to work the Sydney Olympics claiming Australia is too damn far away?

• 1:15:42Speaker 02

  ABC, the only guys I remember from ABC were Peter Jennings or Sam Donaldson.

• 1:15:47Dax Shepard?

  That feels like a Donaldson.

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  It feels like a Donaldson. Cause he was a little more salty and kind of like, alright, I'm gonna say Donaldson.

• 1:15:54Dax Shepard?

  Contankerous.

• 1:15:55Speaker 02

  He was contankerous. I'll say Donaldson.

• 1:15:56Speaker 01

  Okay, final answer. Jim McKay.

• 1:15:59Speaker 02

  Oh, Jim McKay.

• 1:16:00Dax Shepard?

  Jimmy Jam.

• 1:16:01Speaker 02

  My last one.

• 1:16:02Dax Shepard?

  Jimmy Jammer.

• 1:16:02Speaker 02

  What fruit was legally ruled to be a vegetable by the US Supreme Court in 1893 tariff dispute? I know what this is.

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  I hate my son.

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I didn't.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, because did you think tomato? Cause it's the opposite.

• 1:16:13Dax Shepard?

  Tomato.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  No, that's the opposite. It's a fruit.

• 1:16:18Dax Shepard?

  Tomato.

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  It's not tomato.

• 1:16:19Dax Shepard?

  Final answer.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  No, it's a fruit.

• 1:16:22Speaker 02

  Right, that's the point.

• 1:16:23Dax Shepard?

  It was ruled as a vegetable for a trade agreement, but really it's a fruit.

• 1:16:27Speaker 02

  I didn't, I, see, my problem is I read too fast. Cause I was like, it's bananas. Cuba, bananas, the tropics, Hawaii. That's, that's bananas.

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  But then I feel like we would have heard that it got switched.

• 1:16:39Dax Shepard?

  What they're saying is they're giving you the origin story of why there's confusion about whether it's a vegetable or a fruit. It's clearly a fruit. It has seeds, but it needed to get ruled as a vegetable to qualify for a trade agreement.

• 1:16:49Speaker 02

  There was a subruling though, that anyone who, when someone asks, it's true, when someone says, oh, my favorite vegetable is tomato. And someone goes, it's actually a fruit. You're legally allowed to slap that person.

• 1:16:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:59Speaker 02

  This is per US code. Not my ruling.

• 1:17:02Dax Shepard?

  That's the only great outgrowth of that trade agreement is that it is now legal to slap people.

• 1:17:08Speaker 02

  If they correct you.

• 1:17:09Dax Shepard?

  On something obvious that everyone knows. If they tell you that the Phil Collins song in the air tonight is about a guy who watched another guy drown.

• 1:17:17Speaker 02

  Then you can just slap the shit out of them.

• 1:17:19Dax Shepard?

  Fucking repeatedly.

• 1:17:20Speaker 02

  Right there.

• 1:17:20Dax Shepard?

  What other things? Uh, there's a few things that fall under this.

• 1:17:23Speaker 02

  You know, I would say, the girl from Poltergeist is dead. You know, she died. Like, that's one where it's like, yeah, I fucking know.

• 1:17:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, stop it. Yeah, yeah, okay.

• 1:17:31Speaker 01

  Okay, well, that was really fun.

• 1:17:33Dax Shepard?

  That was.

• 1:17:34Speaker 02

  I like asking questions and I like answering questions. And I was like, what if we put this together with people I like and it was funny?

• 1:17:40Dax Shepard?

  I know it's really a gross part of my behavior, but I love answering questions.

• 1:17:45Speaker 02

  I love it. I do.

• 1:17:46Dax Shepard?

  It's like shameful. Nothing gives me more joy.

• 1:17:48Speaker 02

  Oh, God, I love it so much.

• 1:17:48Dax Shepard?

  Why? What's wrong? Well, we know. We talked about it last time.

• 1:17:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it's just like we spent our lives, people have spent their lives reading weird shit and wondering, when is it ever gonna pay off in my life that I could name the Pope who started the Great Schism? When am I ever gonna be in a position where I'm gonna be asked that? And now you might.

• 1:18:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you're right. It's ROI, which we talked about last time, too. It's final return on investment. We've put some time into this for no reason, and now we finally.

• 1:18:13Speaker 02

  This is a financial podcast, by the way. This is your return of investment.

• 1:18:16Dax Shepard?

  Our next guest is the guy, Jim, what's his name?

• 1:18:18Speaker 02

  Jim Cramer?

• 1:18:19Dax Shepard?

  Jim Cramer, yeah, he's, he's, he's following you.

• 1:18:23Speaker 02

  Saw him outside just running sprints back and forth.

• 1:18:27Dax Shepard?

  All right, Ike, I love you.

• 1:18:28Speaker 02

  You guys are the greatest.

• 1:18:29Dax Shepard?

  Thanks for number four. I know we'll see you on number five. When are we recording, I guess is my question.

• 1:18:33Speaker 02

  I think I have two days off from the studio and we're kind of locking it in there. You're gonna be with great company. We got you, we got Russell Brand.

• 1:18:41Dax Shepard?

  Oh, geez, I'm gonna take a rainy.

• 1:18:44Speaker 02

  Who else is on there? BTK Killer.

• 1:18:47Dax Shepard?

  Okay, uh huh, uh huh.

• 1:18:50Speaker 02

  And, oh, Henry Kissinger's ghost.

• 1:18:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:18:53Speaker 02

  I think you're gonna be with like people that you're gonna be like, this is kind of fun and splashy. And Casey Anthony.

• 1:19:00Dax Shepard?

  Great, this sounds.

• 1:19:02Speaker 02

  We have our first tranche.

• 1:19:04Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:19:04Speaker 02

  And then we have.

• 1:19:05Dax Shepard?

  And then we have me and the gang.

• 1:19:06Speaker 02

  You and the gang.

• 1:19:07Dax Shepard?

  You and the gang.

• 1:19:10Dax Shepard?

  Do the sponsors know about the lineup for?

• 1:19:11Speaker 02

  No, we, we tell them afterwards.

• 1:19:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay.

• 1:19:14Speaker 02

  I look forward to seeing you on Saturday, wearing a full diaper.

• 1:19:17Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that's right, Sunday.

• 1:19:18Speaker 02

  Sunday. He wishes it was Saturday. And the actor goes to.

• 1:19:23Dax Shepard?

  Here at backstage. I run out crying on stage.

• 1:19:26Speaker 02

  Who's in two diapers?

• 1:19:28Dax Shepard?

  I'm sorry.

• 1:19:30Speaker 02

  It's for my health.

• 1:19:31Dax Shepard?

  Get our kids out of here. The kids need you. I interrupt the thing because I can't handle the kids.

• 1:19:37Speaker 02

  Francisco's filming you.

• 1:19:40Dax Shepard?

  I shit myself and the kids need something. You have to come off stage.

• 1:19:42Speaker 02

  You gotta look at this video I got of Vax Shepard shitting himself on stage.

• 1:19:47Dax Shepard?

  He shit you, he shit you for real.

• 1:19:48Speaker 02

  He shit you, he shit you for real.

• 1:19:51Dax Shepard?

  All right, love you.

• 1:19:52Speaker 02

  Love you, baby.

• 1:19:53Speaker 05

  He's an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's gonna let him have the facts.

• 1:20:03Dax Shepard?

  Hi, ten year old.

• 1:20:06Speaker 01

  Why? Cause I'm wearing shorts.

• 1:20:07Dax Shepard?

  And your hair is back in a.

• 1:20:09Speaker 01

  In a ponytail. Yeah, cuz I have to wash my hair.

• 1:20:13Dax Shepard?

  It's a thousand degrees out.

• 1:20:15Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:20:17Dax Shepard?

  It feels like Bali outside. Have you been to Bali?

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:20:21Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:20:22Speaker 01

  I haven't. Actually, that reminds me, I was playing a fun game yesterday.

• 1:20:26Dax Shepard?

  Bajan?

• 1:20:26Speaker 01

  No, that's tonight. Um, I was playing a fun game where you say the name of a country. Like I would say Japan.

• 1:20:35Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:20:36Speaker 01

  And then you in your head think of from a scale of one to 10, how badly you wanna go there.

• 1:20:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great.

• 1:20:41Speaker 01

  And then I guess your number.

• 1:20:43Dax Shepard?

  Okay, Japan.

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  Okay, for me? Okay, I have my number.

• 1:20:46Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Um, okay, for you, I guess, I guess nine.

• 1:20:52Speaker 01

  Yes, nine. I really wanna go.

• 1:20:55Dax Shepard?

  Guess for me.

• 1:20:56Speaker 01

  Um, oh, oh.

• 1:20:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:21:02Speaker 01

  Nine, 10?

• 1:21:04Dax Shepard?

  10.

• 1:21:05Speaker 01

  But is that just?

• 1:21:06Dax Shepard?

  I'm dying to go.

• 1:21:07Speaker 01

  I'm dying to go too.

• 1:21:08Dax Shepard?

  And all my like idols, all my mentors in my life, they don't just go like, oh, I like it. They're like, you, you have to, for some reason, they think I

• 1:21:17Speaker 01

  Specific to you.

• 1:21:18Dax Shepard?

  That I'm gonna really respond to what's happening.

• 1:21:20Speaker 01

  Let me tell you something.

• 1:21:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:22Speaker 01

  I know this isn't fair. I do this to people. I tell them that their answers are wrong.

• 1:21:26Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:21:27Speaker 01

  I think your answer is wrong.

• 1:21:29Dax Shepard?

  Because?

• 1:21:30Speaker 01

  Because you don't like fish or sushi.

• 1:21:34Dax Shepard?

  I do like some sushi.

• 1:21:36Speaker 01

  You don't like real nigiri?

• 1:21:39Dax Shepard?

  I like yellow tail and salmon on rice. That's, I used to get that from, um.

• 1:21:43Speaker 01

  Sugar fish.

• 1:21:44Dax Shepard?

  Sugar fish all the time. So I got a one bad order and I'll.

• 1:21:47Speaker 01

  And now see, now you're not. So like.

• 1:21:49Dax Shepard?

  But also they do a ton of great steak. They do wagyu.

• 1:21:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, I think food wise, it's not gonna be your 100, your 10.

• 1:21:57Dax Shepard?

  Yes, that's not why.

• 1:21:59Speaker 01

  So I brought it down to nine.

• 1:22:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay. Um, the reason people want me to go there. Is that everything is executed perfectly.

• 1:22:06Speaker 01

  I know. I'm so excited to go.

• 1:22:07Dax Shepard?

  Like Tom Hanson's like, when the man is sweeping the cobblestone, it's like he's building a Swiss watch. Like, everything is done meticulously.

• 1:22:16Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 1:22:17Dax Shepard?

  And I would love to witness that.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  I also think you're gonna feel a little crowded on the trains and stuff. I think you're gonna feel a tiny bit claustrophobic and tall.

• 1:22:27Dax Shepard?

  Slash grateful, because I'll be so much bigger than everyone.

• 1:22:30Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:22:32Dax Shepard?

  I'll feel like Godzilla.

• 1:22:33Speaker 01

  I still think you're a nine.

• 1:22:34Dax Shepard?

  Okay. I'm basing it on like, what is my, like, first of all, it's a, it's a hurdle to get there. It's you, you're losing a day, right? So if I got to pick my very next place I went to, it's my pick.

• 1:22:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 1:22:47Dax Shepard?

  Like, I'm going to Budapest, which is high on the list, but it's more convenient to what's already happening. But really, the thing I most want to go to is Japan.

• 1:22:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:58Dax Shepard?

  That's why I gotta set it at 10.

• 1:23:00Speaker 01

  I understand.

• 1:23:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:01Speaker 01

  That makes sense what you did.

• 1:23:03Dax Shepard?

  What's your one that you, like, right now, you can teleport anywhere? What is it?

• 1:23:08Speaker 01

  Okay, now, see, this is hard.

• 1:23:10Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:23:10Speaker 01

  Because do I want to go somewhere new?

• 1:23:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:13Speaker 01

  For my teleportation?

• 1:23:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it, it's gotta be new.

• 1:23:16Speaker 01

  Oh, it does.

• 1:23:16Dax Shepard?

  For this game.

• 1:23:17Speaker 01

  Okay, then Japan, yes.

• 1:23:18Dax Shepard?

  That's your also top next.

• 1:23:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, the problem is, some of my 10s are places I've been.

• 1:23:25Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure. Yeah, for me too. Like, Africa to me would be like, going back to Africa would be a 10.

• 1:23:30Speaker 01

  So where do you think Africa is? Well, Africa's a continent, but.

• 1:23:34Dax Shepard?

  Uh, specifically the Grummeti Reserve in Tanzania is where I would want to go. Or I really, really want to go to, um, Mozambique. I want to go to the Akuwanga Delta.

• 1:23:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:23:45Dax Shepard?

  Okay, Mozambique, which is the jewel of Africa, they say. It's all water. You're like on boats, seeing elephants and stuff.

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  And where do you think that is on my list?

• 1:23:54Dax Shepard?

  6.57.

• 1:23:55Speaker 01

  Six!

• 1:23:56Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:23:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, actually, 6.5. I just don't do point fives, but yeah, that's right.

• 1:24:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:01Speaker 01

  That's right. I'm very, I'm very knowable.

• 1:24:04Dax Shepard?

  I'm putting it a little higher than you are, because I actually know how luxurious it could be, and you don't know that, yeah.

• 1:24:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm sure I would absolutely love it.

• 1:24:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:15Speaker 01

  I know I would, but as we discussed recently, it is a character defect. I'm working, I'm trying to work on it.

• 1:24:21Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:24:22Speaker 01

  I don't have enough appreciation for nature.

• 1:24:26Speaker 01

  And I recognize that.

• 1:24:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:29Speaker 01

  And I wish I had more.

• 1:24:31Dax Shepard?

  Boy, if any place would break through, it would be Africa.

• 1:24:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I bet.

• 1:24:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I mean, as I said, you can tell it's the cauldron of life.

• 1:24:38Speaker 01

  Right, exactly.

• 1:24:39Dax Shepard?

  It's palpable.

• 1:24:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I think I'm gonna teleport to.

• 1:24:46Dax Shepard?

  New York or Paris?

• 1:24:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, or London?

• 1:24:49Speaker 01

  Italy or London. I am this summer gonna try to go to London and Paris.

• 1:24:54Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:24:54Speaker 01

  So that's nowhere new.

• 1:24:56Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:24:57Speaker 01

  I'm not in the mood for new this year.

• 1:25:00Dax Shepard?

  Will you be traveling alone there or will you be?

• 1:25:02Speaker 01

  No, friends.

• 1:25:04Dax Shepard?

  Okay, you would, friends are.

• 1:25:05Speaker 01

  Anna.

• 1:25:06Dax Shepard?

  She wants to go to Europe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:08Speaker 01

  And we went to London together when we all went to London.

• 1:25:12Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  And we had just the best time and we talk about it all the time, how we need to go back.

• 1:25:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:17Speaker 01

  So I think we're gonna go back.

• 1:25:18Dax Shepard?

  It's great. Italy's so, obviously, I think it's the best personally, but it is unrelentingly hot in the summer.

• 1:25:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:27Dax Shepard?

  And then there's so many tourists. I feel so bad for the Italians. It's a mix of I feel so bad for them and also it's such a huge chunk of their economy that of course I don't feel bad for them, but I just. Like if you lived in Rome and 90% of the people you saw day to day didn't live, weren't your neighbors that lived there, that must get taxing.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  That's probably like if you live in on Sunset.

• 1:25:50Dax Shepard?

  I don't know if it's that bad. I think when you're walking through Rome, you're seeing in the summer.

• 1:25:55Speaker 01

  If you live on Hollywood Boulevard.

• 1:25:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, if you live on Hollywood Boulevard.

• 1:25:59Speaker 01

  That's what I meant. Or if you live in Times Square, that's tough.

• 1:26:03Dax Shepard?

  If you live right in Times Square, yeah, it could be challenging to you.

• 1:26:06Speaker 01

  Didn't, um, didn't Alexandra Skarsgård lived, live in kind of.

• 1:26:10Dax Shepard?

  Somewhere horrendous.

• 1:26:11Speaker 01

  Right in the middle of Times Square.

• 1:26:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when I stayed, when they put me for baby mama initially at a hotel above a fire station and the police station across from Grand Central Station.

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  Oh, ouch.

• 1:26:25Dax Shepard?

  And I was like, they.

• 1:26:27Speaker 01

  They hate me.

• 1:26:28Dax Shepard?

  We were just, this just came up in my Tuesday meeting, just status. And I think especially when you're on sets and people are ranked in like.

• 1:26:36Speaker 01

  Literally ranked on the call sheet.

• 1:26:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's like one, and you're, you're number 61 and, and you get allocated resources.

• 1:26:45Speaker 01

  Based on that.

• 1:26:45Dax Shepard?

  Commensurate with that number, right?

• 1:26:47Speaker 01

  Yes, you do.

• 1:26:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so I'm at the. Shitbox above the, you know, fire department.

• 1:26:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. And where was like Amy, who's probably number, Amy and Tina were number one and two.

• 1:26:57Dax Shepard?

  Tina and Amy live there.

• 1:26:59Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:27:00Dax Shepard?

  So I'm trying to think who I would have had to go to next. Ultimately, they got me out of there and I went to the maritime, which was great.

• 1:27:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. And there's ghosts there.

• 1:27:09Dax Shepard?

  There was ghosts there. Yeah. And you're right. In the meatpacking, there's great food.

• 1:27:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:14Dax Shepard?

  It was lovely. Anyhow, that was just the topic on Tuesday. And a friend of mine who is about to go on a press tour was like, I just want to make sure I behave and don't get caught up in like, am I in that picture? Am I not? Did they ask me to go to this interview or not?

• 1:27:27Speaker 01

  It's hard.

• 1:27:28Dax Shepard?

  And he reached out to a fellow person and I can't believe this brilliant advice here. Like, well, there's someone else in the cast that's younger and probably needs help. That hasn't been here before.

• 1:27:37Speaker 01

  That can be your job.

• 1:27:38Dax Shepard?

  Focus on that person.

• 1:27:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's lovely.

• 1:27:40Dax Shepard?

  And he did. And he goes, I've never felt better ever. I never considered one of the things I did or didn't get. And the parents of this person thought I was so nice and I told them, I'm not, no, I was just being selfish. I wanted to make sure I didn't act like a brat and it was a joy to do it. And I, I'm actually grateful to you.

• 1:27:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:58Dax Shepard?

  Anyways.

• 1:27:58Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:27:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I was like, what? Great advice. What was this event you were at just now?

• 1:28:04Speaker 01

  I wasn't at an event.

• 1:28:05Dax Shepard?

  I thought you were busy today.

• 1:28:06Speaker 01

  Oh, I was, I was recording. I was, I had a meeting and a recording.

• 1:28:09Dax Shepard?

  What was the recording?

• 1:28:10Speaker 01

  I ended up not doing it. I ended up having to reschedule it, but it was for, we're, we're testing out a season two of Beth's Dead.

• 1:28:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:28:23Speaker 01

  We have a potential story. And so we want to record us at the very beginning, talking about.

• 1:28:30Dax Shepard?

  The merits of it.

• 1:28:31Speaker 01

  Exactly. Exactly.

• 1:28:33Dax Shepard?

  What's, well, you can't, you'll tell me privately.

• 1:28:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can't talk about it.

• 1:28:36Dax Shepard?

  But someone contacted you, I presume with a story?

• 1:28:39Speaker 01

  Actually, so it's funny because we, you know, we've been kind of keeping our ears open for interesting stories that are meaningful. That will do the same thing that this first one did. So we're not just, you know, and we're not like on a timeline or anything. It's just if there's something good, we'll do it.

• 1:28:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:57Speaker 01

  So Elizabeth came across a couple of stories and she was telling me and then she was like, it's kind of like this story that happened to Andy. And then I was like, wait, what? And then she tells that. And I was like, wait, why don't I know about this?

• 1:29:09Dax Shepard?

  What if you come to find out Elizabeth and Andy are the actual?

• 1:29:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, catfishers.

• 1:29:14Dax Shepard?

  They're, they have all these stories.

• 1:29:17Speaker 01

  I know. I did think I was like, what? Yeah, well, we know it happened because.

• 1:29:21Dax Shepard?

  I have a suspicious amount of stories. You know, I often hear myself telling a story and I'm like, if I was this person, I'd be like, Matt, then you didn't get shot at, you know, like, there's no way this also happened. And that thing had also happened.

• 1:29:32Speaker 01

  I know. Well, to be fair, this one isn't, it didn't actually happen to Andy. That's not really a fair way of me framing it. He was involved with people and this story happened to those people.

• 1:29:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay.

• 1:29:44Speaker 01

  So it's supposed to do that.

• 1:29:45Dax Shepard?

  And then why is too hot?

• 1:29:47Speaker 01

  Well,

• 1:29:50Speaker 01

  I have to cut. Why? Cause I feel bad.

• 1:29:53Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:29:53Speaker 01

  I just, I'm getting a tree delivery.

• 1:29:56Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:29:57Speaker 01

  And.

• 1:29:57Dax Shepard?

  That's getting planted in your yard or?

• 1:29:59Speaker 01

  In indoor tree.

• 1:30:00Dax Shepard?

  Indoor tree.

• 1:30:01Speaker 01

  And it's very exciting. And there's three options and I really want to see them. And I really wanted it done by tonight because of mahjong and Charlie's party tomorrow. So today was the only day. It's supposed to happen at 11:30. Guess what? It's happening right now.

• 1:30:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:30:19Speaker 01

  So it really, it did. I got karma.

• 1:30:22Dax Shepard?

  You got hoisted.

• 1:30:24Speaker 01

  It was karma. Yeah.

• 1:30:25Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:30:26Speaker 01

  I guess I'll leave it in because I'm honest.

• 1:30:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So as you were walking out, they're walking in virtually.

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  I like, I mean, I didn't see them, but I assumed they're there right now. She texted me and it's hot.

• 1:30:36Dax Shepard?

  It's a hot topic. Oh no, it's physically hot out.

• 1:30:40Speaker 01

  It's physically hot.

• 1:30:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, it's outrageous. Not only, like, we get these blasts every year. We get these blasts of like three days of 90s in winter. We don't get, or we're, we have two weeks of 90s. Like I looked today at the coming schedule for the next eight days out. It's still, it never gets below 85 for the next 10 days that are on the.

• 1:31:01Speaker 01

  It does make me anxious that it's happening in March. Like, what is gonna happen in August and September?

• 1:31:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but again, I don't know that there's any, I don't know that it works that way.

• 1:31:13Speaker 01

  I hope not.

• 1:31:13Dax Shepard?

  Again, I tell you about the dinosaur show. I found that weirdly comforting.

• 1:31:17Speaker 01

  Well, you just said you're watching one.

• 1:31:18Dax Shepard?

  I didn't tell you about the geology of it. More interesting than learning about the dinosaurs is learning about the history of the planet. This place is an absolute mess. So, right, it started as one continent, Pangaea. When that broke apart, it blacked out the sky. It was like 100 degrees cooler. Then there were these periods of like insane methane and carbon dioxide in it that it was in the hundreds. Everything died. Then it cooled off because of this and then it came back. Like, I believe in global warming.

• 1:31:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:31:50Dax Shepard?

  But we are talking about us moving up like two to four degrees Celsius. And it's just interesting watching the show that the earth has gone through cycles of hundreds of degrees Celsius.

• 1:32:00Speaker 01

  Couldn't sustain human life.

• 1:32:01Dax Shepard?

  But for the earth's record, this isn't a skinny. Like, that's an interesting way to see it.

• 1:32:06Speaker 01

  We've also changed the way our own requirements from the earth. We demand so much more.

• 1:32:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and so did the explosion of trees. Like, there was not trees. This was an interesting, absolutely hard to believe fact. You know sharks have been here longer than trees?

• 1:32:22Speaker 01

  Wow, really?

• 1:32:23Dax Shepard?

  Like, what? Trees are like the green, the greenifying of the planet and there being oxygen here is so new in its five billion year history.

• 1:32:34Speaker 01

  Ding ding ding.

• 1:32:35Dax Shepard?

  So there's no trees. And then there's too many trees. And then everything died. And then it came back. And then all these crazy volcanoes that were just spewing forever. And then it was dark out. And it's like, wow, this, this thing has seen it all.

• 1:32:47Speaker 01

  It's been through it. Ding ding ding, trees. There's a tree in my, coming to my house. So that's cool.

• 1:33:09Speaker 01

  The stakes of the tree coming into my house are high because it's not a small, it's a large tree.

• 1:33:16Dax Shepard?

  Where does it live?

• 1:33:17Speaker 01

  In the living room. I'm so excited. It's gonna look so pretty.

• 1:33:20Dax Shepard?

  And it'll get enough light and who will water it?

• 1:33:22Speaker 01

  So stop, that's the part I'm having anxiety about.

• 1:33:24Dax Shepard?

  Will you have an automatic irrigation system?

• 1:33:26Speaker 01

  No, I'll water it. I'm good at watering.

• 1:33:28Dax Shepard?

  That'll be no problem.

• 1:33:29Speaker 01

  I'm good at doing it. I just don't know if I do it right because things still die.

• 1:33:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you can chat it, chat, G G G T. It'll probably tell you how many ounces of water to put in.

• 1:33:41Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 1:33:42Speaker 06

  Probably a smart device you can get to that like measures the soil moisture.

• 1:33:47Dax Shepard?

  I bet you can automate the whole thing and fill up a tank once in a while.

• 1:33:51Speaker 01

  That would be good.

• 1:33:51Dax Shepard?

  And put nitrogen pellets in there. It'll probably just keep it perfect.

• 1:33:54Speaker 01

  Okay, I want to do that because it's an important tree and if it dies.

• 1:33:59Dax Shepard?

  You don't even know what tree it is yet, but it is when it gets here, it's important. You know, it's a very important tree.

• 1:34:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, and if it dies under my watch.

• 1:34:05Dax Shepard?

  You just have tons of soil in your, you obviously have tons of soil.

• 1:34:08Speaker 01

  It's gonna be in a pot.

• 1:34:10Dax Shepard?

  This is an interesting idea, right? They have like a ton of soil in your living room.

• 1:34:14Speaker 01

  Well, it's in a pot.

• 1:34:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:17Speaker 01

  Like that.

• 1:34:18Dax Shepard?

  That doesn't have soil because that's a fake tree.

• 1:34:19Speaker 01

  Well, let's pretend it was real.

• 1:34:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, if there's a big, big pot of dirt over there, I bet we would smell it.

• 1:34:25Speaker 01

  It'd be fine. No, it has moss on top. It's fine. I have plants. You're, yeah, you're not a big plant guy. Just like I'm not a big, I'm not really interested in nature.

• 1:34:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:36Speaker 01

  You're not really interested in plants.

• 1:34:38Dax Shepard?

  It's kind of like dogs. Like, there's a lot of stuff that's outside. I don't need to bring it inside. It's fine with me that's outside and then I can go visit it outside, but I like, like, you know.

• 1:34:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:47Dax Shepard?

  Have you ever played Rummy Cube?

• 1:34:48Speaker 01

  Something is going on. I'm shook by this.

• 1:34:52Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:34:53Speaker 01

  Because the next thing that was about to come out of my mouth was sort of like Rummy Cube.

• 1:34:59Dax Shepard?

  Mahjong?

• 1:35:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, but yeah.

• 1:35:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, there's tiles and have you ever played Rummy Cube?

• 1:35:04Speaker 01

  Yes, I have.

• 1:35:05Dax Shepard?

  It's so fun.

• 1:35:06Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 1:35:06Dax Shepard?

  Lincoln and I had the most, I mean, she's becoming my Erin Weekly as she gets older.

• 1:35:12Speaker 01

  Don't say that. You already have an Erin Weekly.

• 1:35:14Dax Shepard?

  Well.

• 1:35:14Speaker 01

  She's becoming your Lincoln.

• 1:35:16Dax Shepard?

  You should be nervous.

• 1:35:17Speaker 01

  You guys have your own relationship.

• 1:35:18Dax Shepard?

  But I mean, in that the way Erin and I could in seventh grade, get on to something that would last for hours and no one else was enjoying it.

• 1:35:27Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Okay.

• 1:35:28Dax Shepard?

  So she and I played Rummy Cube and we started singing at some point and we sang for like two hours together playing this game and it was, it was as fun as someone can have. And that came on the heels of watching the second episode of DTF.

• 1:35:42Speaker 01

  Oh, my.

• 1:35:43Dax Shepard?

  St. Louis.

• 1:35:44Speaker 01

  What a show. I want, I, yeah, I'm two in.

• 1:35:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. What a show. As you might expect, I've left all these guys messages.

• 1:35:51Speaker 01

  Of course you have.

• 1:35:52Dax Shepard?

  Saying.

• 1:35:53Speaker 01

  Yes, you're mad.

• 1:35:54Dax Shepard?

  No, saying, well, I see that you guys are having a lot of fun talking about peronies.

• 1:36:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:01Dax Shepard?

  Everyone's having a good laugh at the idea of someone having peronies.

• 1:36:06Speaker 01

  It does feel like a personal attack.

• 1:36:09Speaker 01

  I will say.

• 1:36:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I mean, they're having a good time with peronies.

• 1:36:17Dax Shepard?

  As they should. It's such a stupid condition. I just think it's also crazy that I can leave a message that I have had peronies and I'm on the other side of peronies.

• 1:36:27Speaker 01

  I know. Thank God you're on the other side.

• 1:36:29Dax Shepard?

  Said to them, I know you guys think it's a real hoot, but you should know that I was told it'll either heal by itself in a year or you'll have to have a C, uh, operation, a C-section that is 50% successful. And the other half of the time, you will never use your penis again. So I hope you guys know that that's what I had to deal with. And I know everyone's having a real good laugh.

• 1:36:53Speaker 01

  See, now you know what it's like. Now you know what it's like when someone's suffering from something.

• 1:36:59Dax Shepard?

  I know, but I need to call them.

• 1:37:00Speaker 01

  And then someone's making fun of it. They don't understand what it's like to live with this.

• 1:37:05Dax Shepard?

  It's a bad cop because it didn't, it doesn't bother me at all. And ideally we would want it to bother me. So that I would understand how other people feel.

• 1:37:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:12Dax Shepard?

  But that kind of confirms already my worldview, which is like, just get over it.

• 1:37:16Speaker 01

  If you didn't.

• 1:37:17Dax Shepard?

  If I had lost my penis.

• 1:37:18Speaker 01

  Exactly. You might have more sensitivity or like, well, you would have more.

• 1:37:24Dax Shepard?

  I'd have no sensitivity and also some sense exacerbated sensitivity.

• 1:37:29Speaker 01

  So, okay. It has no sensitivity. So you could like.

• 1:37:34Dax Shepard?

  I don't think it'll get erect.

• 1:37:35Speaker 01

  But can you feel anything?

• 1:37:37Dax Shepard?

  I don't know. It didn't sound, it didn't sound good.

• 1:37:41Dax Shepard?

  Use it as a hammer instead.

• 1:37:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:43Dax Shepard?

  Start using it.

• 1:37:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. Use it as a real tool, a tool as it's meant to be.

• 1:37:47Dax Shepard?

  Wedge. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't like, I didn't do enough follow up questions because to be honest, when I heard that, I was like, we're not getting that procedure. I don't care what, I don't care if the penis ties itself into a bow. We won't get a procedure that makes it not ever work.

• 1:38:03Speaker 01

  Right. I see. Yeah.

• 1:38:04Dax Shepard?

  Like however bad the peronies could have gotten, I can't imagine rolling the dice, flipping a coin like that.

• 1:38:11Speaker 01

  It's a lot.

• 1:38:12Dax Shepard?

  It's a lot. You gotta concede, you gotta talk to your partner about that.

• 1:38:15Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:38:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:16Speaker 01

  But they might feel like I'd, I want you to take the risk because I can't even like, I can't get this in.

• 1:38:24Dax Shepard?

  I thought you were going another direction, which is, I hope that is the outcome.

• 1:38:31Speaker 01

  Well, I guess they, they have a built in out, even if, if it's all twisted up, they could just like, I'm sorry, I can't like.

• 1:38:38Dax Shepard?

  Can't put a bow tie in there.

• 1:38:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I won't go. Um, and then you just be like, but I don't want you to change. So you just be you. And you never have to have sex again.

• 1:38:48Dax Shepard?

  That's right. Yeah. It's the dream. It's every wife's dream.

• 1:38:52Speaker 01

  It's a lot of wives' dreams. Not all wives.

• 1:38:55Dax Shepard?

  It's not my wife's dream. I don't want to paint that picture at all.

• 1:38:57Speaker 01

  We're not painting that picture, but it's some wives' dreams. Oh my God. Um, let's see. What else?

• 1:39:06Dax Shepard?

  I keep thinking of movies to add to my list to show Lincoln. I'm so excited. Flirting with Disaster. I'm like, of course, how could I have not shown her Flirting with Disaster?

• 1:39:14Speaker 01

  You showed me that movie.

• 1:39:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and it does, and I'm due for a rewatch.

• 1:39:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would rewatch that. Can I come over for that? I would love to rewatch that.

• 1:39:21Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and, um, and then, um, Can't Buy Me Love, commenter suggested. I was like, duh, it's my favorite teen movie of all time.

• 1:39:30Speaker 01

  Um, Flirting with Disaster, ding ding ding, Richard Jenkins, who's in DTF St. Louis, and he's so good in it.

• 1:39:36Dax Shepard?

  He's so prominent.

• 1:39:37Speaker 01

  He's very prominent. I think everyone needs to watch DTF St. Louis.

• 1:39:41Dax Shepard?

  Do you watch Wednesday?

• 1:39:42Speaker 01

  I've dropped off on Wednesday.

• 1:39:44Dax Shepard?

  But you would have, you've seen the first season, right?

• 1:39:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I loved the first season.

• 1:39:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so you know her kind of nemesis that's black. She's like a Slytherin. I don't know what they're called, but she's like a shapeshifter or whatever. She's got like green eyes. She's the detective that Jenkins is battling there.

• 1:39:58Speaker 01

  She's great.

• 1:39:59Dax Shepard?

  And you get to see her real pupils for the first time, which is exciting. She's great.

• 1:40:04Speaker 01

  I have a question. What are your, what's your opinion on what's going on with Love Story, the show about JFK Junior and Caroline Bassett Kennedy? Do you know there's drama?

• 1:40:14Dax Shepard?

  No, it's the drama. I haven't watched it. Um, the only thing I know about it is from you.

• 1:40:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz I keep watching it.

• 1:40:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:21Speaker 01

  Even though I know that there are some problematic things.

• 1:40:25Dax Shepard?

  Right?

• 1:40:26Speaker 01

  Well, Jack Schlossberg, who is, I'm gonna tell you, he is Caroline Kennedy's son.

• 1:40:34Dax Shepard?

  In real life?

• 1:40:35Speaker 01

  Yes. Caroline Kennedy, who is JFK Junior's sister.

• 1:40:40Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:40:40Speaker 01

  Son of JFK.

• 1:40:42Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 1:40:43Speaker 01

  And, and daughter of JFK.

• 1:40:45Dax Shepard?

  Daughter of JFK, yeah.

• 1:40:46Speaker 01

  Caroline is JFK's jot, jotter.

• 1:40:49Dax Shepard?

  Jotter.

• 1:40:50Speaker 01

  Daughter.

• 1:40:51Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:40:51Speaker 01

  His brother was JFK Junior.

• 1:40:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:53Speaker 01

  Her son.

• 1:40:54Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:40:55Speaker 01

  And, you know.

• 1:40:56Dax Shepard?

  His grandson, had he lived.

• 1:40:58Speaker 01

  Correct. JFK's grandson. What Caroline Kennedy has lived through is just so unbelie, like, you just are like, how can one person endure that much? That's.

• 1:41:12Dax Shepard?

  Brother, uncle, dad.

• 1:41:15Speaker 01

  Daughter just died. Um.

• 1:41:18Dax Shepard?

  Like, recently?

• 1:41:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, in December of cancer.

• 1:41:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh my, horror.

• 1:41:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, and she's like thirty-three or something, Tatiana. Um, she's just endured the most, you know? And. Jack is, that's his mom.

• 1:41:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:33Speaker 01

  And she's in the show. She's portrayed in the show.

• 1:41:37Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:41:38Speaker 01

  Caroline is and, and they all are. And like, Jack is very openly against this show. He's like, this is awful. Yes. This is not a correct depiction of anyone.

• 1:41:52Speaker 01

  And I totally understand that. And also, so, so at the beginning of the show, uh, JFK Jr. Is dating Daryl Hannah, as he did. And, um, the depiction of Daryl Hannah is really not flattering.

• 1:42:06Dax Shepard?

  It's not.

• 1:42:07Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:42:08Dax Shepard?

  What things did they?

• 1:42:09Speaker 01

  They just make her look like very dumb.

• 1:42:12Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:42:12Speaker 01

  And ditzy. And like, she's doing coke. And like, she's just like, a real, like, needy person.

• 1:42:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh. I've hung out with her once, and I thought she was incredibly rad.

• 1:42:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:23Dax Shepard?

  I had noticed someone had like a jacked up F 250 pickup truck at this small gathering. And I was like, whose truck is that? It was hers.

• 1:42:31Speaker 01

  Oh, that's cool.

• 1:42:32Dax Shepard?

  And she goes, yeah, I need it because I put my snowmobile in it. I'm like, you snowmobile? I'm like, this is so rad. Like, you're, you are a mermaid and you fucking have a jacked up 250 and snowmobile? I think she's like a tough, cool woman.

• 1:42:46Speaker 01

  Yes. So she wrote an article, an op ed, that was basically like, very, very, very well done. And, and said, this isn't, this is all incorrect. Um, not just the, like, overall depiction of her, but some factual things. She was like, I've never done coke. Whatever. All these things. So there's like some real criticism that I very much understand. And I'm like, why am I still watching? And I am. I'm in.

• 1:43:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:14Speaker 01

  And so I guess I'm saying, I'm sorry to Jack Schlossberg and Daryl Hannah. And what I'm actually really saying is I, I can sometimes get on a high horse. About people engaging in things that I think are wrong.

• 1:43:31Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you and.

• 1:43:34Speaker 01

  And celebrity gossip and like dumb stuff.

• 1:43:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. But we love the crown.

• 1:43:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, that to me doesn't have the same stink on it like that's such a beautifully done show. This is Ryan Murphy. I mean, it is classically Ryan Murphy.

• 1:43:52Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:43:53Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:43:53Dax Shepard?

  It's salacious.

• 1:43:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:43:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, scandalous.

• 1:43:56Speaker 01

  And yet here I am participating. But I guess what I I will say the difference is I'm watching it. I'm enjoying it. And I am very much aware, like this is all made up.

• 1:44:09Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:44:10Speaker 01

  None of this is real or or based on any real truths. So I can enjoy it and know it. I'm not at risk of getting like.

• 1:44:17Dax Shepard?

  It's fanfiction.

• 1:44:19Speaker 01

  Yes, I'm not gonna start thinking about Daryl Hannah a specific way or any of these people a specific way based on it. So I guess maybe that's where I find a.

• 1:44:27Dax Shepard?

  I wonder if I'll live long enough to be like a fringe character in a remake of some drama, you know?

• 1:44:34Speaker 01

  Okay, who would it be?

• 1:44:35Dax Shepard?

  Um, I don't know. You'd have to go like one of my most famous friends. Like if they did a movie about Ashton and Mila, somehow I was like, I made a couple scenes.

• 1:44:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, you'd be there.

• 1:44:44Dax Shepard?

  And then they painted me like.

• 1:44:45Speaker 01

  Era.

• 1:44:46Dax Shepard?

  In cra- crazy.

• 1:44:49Speaker 01

  Well, then you'd be like, that's accurate.

• 1:44:50Dax Shepard?

  As I just mentioned, I love snowmobiles and you can say whatever you want about me.

• 1:44:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, like if they so if they like portrayed you as very dumb.

• 1:45:00Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:45:01Speaker 01

  It would be like to service the Ashton story, right?

• 1:45:04Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:45:05Speaker 01

  Which that was the point of this. She's a side character because the point is to get it, get him to Carolyn.

• 1:45:11Dax Shepard?

  You want him to be with Carolyn.

• 1:45:13Speaker 01

  Exactly. So if they had you as like an idiot and it was to service some story for Ashton, like it would suck. It would suck. It would be like, that's not true at all.

• 1:45:26Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm, mm hmm.

• 1:45:27Speaker 01

  And now people think that about me and I'm alive. Like you're alive. I'm saying you would say like, and now people have this impression of me. I'm still a person out in the world.

• 1:45:36Dax Shepard?

  Well, that is what ultimately kept. I mean, from getting to do the show, this best thing I've ever written, A False History of Darryl Hall.

• 1:45:43Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 1:45:44Dax Shepard?

  And I had met with Darryl seven ti- you know, seven. I met with him several times and we got along great. And the conceit of the show is this is not his life.

• 1:45:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:53Dax Shepard?

  But I'm gonna, I'm gonna explain this catalog of 40 hit songs.

• 1:45:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:58Dax Shepard?

  In story and give them these fantastical origins.

• 1:46:01Speaker 01

  Wow, I love that.

• 1:46:03Dax Shepard?

  While plotting this bigger arc of his life, which wasn't his, his life at all. And then the title of the show is gonna be A False History of Darryl Hall.

• 1:46:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:10Dax Shepard?

  And, you know, somewhat understandably, he's like, you, you know, at the 11th hour, he's like, yeah, I just like, I'm afraid people won't distinguish that.

• 1:46:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I understand.

• 1:46:19Dax Shepard?

  What if it's huge and then he's dead and who knows what thing people.

• 1:46:23Speaker 01

  But it's literally in the title.

• 1:46:24Dax Shepard?

  I know it's in the title. Yeah. I mean, look, I, I thought it was very clear and that there was nothing to it. And it would be very fun and such a fun and weird way to celebrate that amazing catalog.

• 1:46:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:36Speaker 01

  That sucks. I think in that ca- I understand your personal.

• 1:46:40Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna give the listener example of one of the episodes.

• 1:46:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:46:42Dax Shepard?

  All right. Um, you know, the song, one on one, I wanna spit, I wanna play that game tonight. One on one.

• 1:46:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I know. I know it.

• 1:46:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So one on one. So it's a beautiful love song. We all know this is a beautiful love song. But really in that episode, Darryl shows up to a show at the Roxy. They're gonna do this small thing for this like review thing. And as he shows up, he notices three guys unloading equipment from the bus and they're not the, um, roadies. And so he tries to stop them. It's three dudes stealing all the equipment and they jump him at the beginning of the episode.

• 1:47:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:47:21Dax Shepard?

  And they need a song. Like, there's always a thing. He needs a song, blah, blah, blah. This, the whole rest of the episode, which is following the other grander arc of the thing. Then there's some kind of resolution. He hears a thing and then he's walking down the street at the end of the episode and he sees one of the guys that jumped him. And it's like, what? I wanna play that game tonight. And as you're listening, those lyrics, you realize, oh, it could also very much be about finding the dude and being so excited to finally take on one of them.

• 1:47:50Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:47:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So they all, all these things that you thought were about this, it's this exaggerated thing it really was about. And it was so fun to write.

• 1:47:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think you could have done it.

• 1:48:00Dax Shepard?

  And now I'm just too old.

• 1:48:01Speaker 01

  What if, when he dies? That's even worse.

• 1:48:04Dax Shepard?

  I wanted to play him. I it would be hard for me to watch someone else play him.

• 1:48:10Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:48:10Dax Shepard?

  They were both tall and blonde. And when this thing was had legs, I think I was forty when this was really in full.

• 1:48:16Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:48:17Dax Shepard?

  Swing. And he was a little older.

• 1:48:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:19Dax Shepard?

  He got famous.

• 1:48:21Speaker 01

  He still could.

• 1:48:22Dax Shepard?

  I couldn't tell those songs because I'm fifty one and we know those songs were written in the eighties.

• 1:48:27Speaker 01

  Oh, well, can't you um?

• 1:48:30Dax Shepard?

  And then I have to watch Justin, Justin, I'd have to watch Butler.

• 1:48:34Speaker 01

  Austin Butler.

• 1:48:35Dax Shepard?

  Austin Butler do it. He would be my pick.

• 1:48:37Speaker 01

  What? No, that's a bad pick.

• 1:48:39Dax Shepard?

  No, he's so handsome and tall and I met him, you know.

• 1:48:43Speaker 01

  I, yeah.

• 1:48:44Dax Shepard?

  I was so smitten. Carly almost fell over.

• 1:48:46Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:48:47Dax Shepard?

  My brother said, oh, my God, you're Elvis. It was a whole thing.

• 1:48:50Speaker 01

  I remember. But I'm just saying, hold on, let me look up Daryl Hall.

• 1:48:54Dax Shepard?

  In the eighties.

• 1:48:55Speaker 01

  Eighties.

• 1:48:56Dax Shepard?

  Blue eyed soul.

• 1:48:57Speaker 01

  Okay, Austin Butler.

• 1:48:59Dax Shepard?

  What's the matter?

• 1:49:00Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:49:01Dax Shepard?

  Because?

• 1:49:02Speaker 01

  He, this guy is a real face.

• 1:49:05Dax Shepard?

  Like me. Like a real, normal face.

• 1:49:09Speaker 01

  Why don't you use AI?

• 1:49:12Dax Shepard?

  Like I could have played him.

• 1:49:13Speaker 01

  Yes, you definitely could have.

• 1:49:15Dax Shepard?

  Had that hairdo.

• 1:49:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:49:16Dax Shepard?

  I got the blue eyes.

• 1:49:17Speaker 01

  Okay, I don't think this, this is dead in the water. I think that.

• 1:49:21Dax Shepard?

  Or I could play John Oates. What do you think?

• 1:49:25Speaker 01

  You could go either way. Um, but I think.

• 1:49:28Dax Shepard?

  Payne, I wanted to payne you to.

• 1:49:30Speaker 01

  That would be fun.

• 1:49:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, I really wanted to payne you to play. Yeah, okay.

• 1:49:35Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:49:35Speaker 06

  It looks like Yorma.

• 1:49:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I think that you guys could do this and use the new AI technology to make you look younger, but it's still you. I, you know, Ben just sold a big company to Netflix.

• 1:49:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no, yeah.

• 1:49:54Speaker 01

  This. So I think you could do this.

• 1:49:56Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I'll do it.

• 1:49:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:49:58Dax Shepard?

  That's bang on. That doesn't change how Daryl feels about it, but.

• 1:50:01Speaker 01

  Maybe times change.

• 1:50:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, the, the thing is, is by the way, I could do this. He's a public figure. So and, and, and there is a version where I could have done it without his permission, but I need the music. The whole show is a celebration of the music.

• 1:50:14Speaker 01

  Would you?

• 1:50:14Dax Shepard?

  I wouldn't want to do it.

• 1:50:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:50:16Dax Shepard?

  But the, the, there's no show without the music.

• 1:50:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Did you? Ever think about doing it with another musical figure that would say yes to it?

• 1:50:27Dax Shepard?

  Well, the reason I didn't is because, you know, I had this like four year obsession with Daryl Hall, Hall and Oates, but Daryl Hall. I just, I like, I, it was such an obsession that I was like, I'm being called to do something more than just listen to the music, which is how I came up with the idea. I'm like, oh, I want to be more involved with this music than just listening to it.

• 1:50:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:50Dax Shepard?

  And I don't, I don't feel that way about the catalog of.

• 1:50:54Speaker 01

  Sabrina Carpenter.

• 1:50:56Dax Shepard?

  Sabreins.

• 1:50:58Speaker 06

  You could play her still.

• 1:50:59Dax Shepard?

  Brainy. Yeah, my window's closing of people I could play, you know, that's just, that's just a fact.

• 1:51:05Speaker 01

  A new, a new category is opening up.

• 1:51:07Dax Shepard?

  But no one's very prolific in this period. Like no one's trying to watch the third act of a famous singer's life. You know, you want to see the rise.

• 1:51:17Speaker 01

  You can be in the, you're not in the flashbacks, but you're in the current day.

• 1:51:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy. Okay. So it's me, current day, and then Austin Butler when we flashback.

• 1:51:30Speaker 01

  Okay. I think we can do some facts now.

• 1:51:32Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I've done, I, I Baron Holt's facts.

• 1:51:34Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:51:35Dax Shepard?

  And I did his show.

• 1:51:36Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:51:37Dax Shepard?

  Since he was on.

• 1:51:38Speaker 01

  And how was it?

• 1:51:39Dax Shepard?

  So much fun. So much fun.

• 1:51:41Speaker 01

  You said you got caught.

• 1:51:44Dax Shepard?

  I got a couple. Oh, I got several wrong. Is that what you mean?

• 1:51:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you said you thought you were, you were tricked on one.

• 1:51:50Dax Shepard?

  Well, I was. He doesn't understand what anthropology is. Yeah. He got it confused with history, which is fine.

• 1:51:57Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:51:58Dax Shepard?

  I did.

• 1:51:58Speaker 01

  Check that episode out.

• 1:51:59Dax Shepard?

  I did end up getting it, even though I didn't really deserve it.

• 1:52:02Speaker 01

  That's true. My take on that was you extra deserve it because it's actually not your skill set.

• 1:52:10Dax Shepard?

  Not only that, I didn't even give a great example to him when I was explaining why that wasn't anthropology. He's like, but isn't, wasn't, it's the study of man. I go, yeah, it's the study of man, but mostly the evolution to, you know, but, but really I was like, it's the study of man before we wrote and had written records of man. We don't need to, we don't need to do detective work.

• 1:52:28Speaker 01

  Man, it's the.

• 1:52:29Dax Shepard?

  Historians.

• 1:52:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:31Dax Shepard?

  Tell us what happened in those periods through the written record.

• 1:52:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:34Dax Shepard?

  It's pre-written record that we're trying to figure out.

• 1:52:37Speaker 01

  Ouch.

• 1:52:37Dax Shepard?

  Obviously it's not bothering me anymore.

• 1:52:40Speaker 01

  Clearly. Um, okay. The Moon River Fletch reference. Um, 1995 movie Fletch Chevy Chase.

• 1:52:49Dax Shepard?

  Not 1995.

• 1:52:51Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. 1985. My eyes. Croons the song Moon River while undergoing a humiliating invasive rectal examination by a doctor.

• 1:53:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:00Speaker 01

  And there's a video.

• 1:53:01Dax Shepard?

  Play it.

• 1:53:02Speaker 05

  Drop your shorts and bend over, Mr. Bar.

• 1:53:04Dax Shepard?

  Here we go.

• 1:53:05Speaker 05

  Oh, no, really. We don't need to. I've, uh, we don't want to do that. So, you know, my kidneys feel a lot better in this position. Maybe it's just that I'm not doing any calisthenics. You know, if I did some sit-ups in the morning or bend over like this, I'd probably feel 100%

• 1:53:24Speaker 05

  Thank you, doc. Ever serve time? Breathe easy. Breathe easy.

• 1:53:29Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. There's more?

• 1:53:32Speaker 05

  Was able to get that, uh, policy. I know there's a history of cancer in the family. There is? Yeah. As a matter of fact, uh, you using the whole fist, doc?

• 1:53:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay, that's enough.

• 1:53:45Speaker 01

  That's funny.

• 1:53:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:47Speaker 01

  I've never seen that movie.

• 1:53:48Dax Shepard?

  You haven't? Well, I'm gonna show it to Lincoln if you want to join it. You know, it's in a three-way tie with my top comedies.

• 1:53:54Speaker 01

  I know you love it. What year did Chevy Chase's talk show start and how long did it run? 1993 on Fox. It was canceled after six weeks, 29 episodes. His deal was supposedly $3 million. It was the first late-night talk show on Fox since The Late Show hosted by Joan Rivers in 98, then Arsenio Hall and Ross Schaefer, and it was the last until 2006. Talk show with Spike Feresten debuted then. It got canceled because they promised five to six million viewers nightly, but delivered fewer than two. Also, the show's audience was generally misbehaved, and the chairwoman of Fox Broadcasting said, quote, "The show was uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch."

• 1:54:32Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy.

• 1:54:33Speaker 01

  Ouchie.

• 1:54:33Dax Shepard?

  Not a great review. I didn't see it, so I don't have an opinion.

• 1:54:37Speaker 01

  Okay, um, SantaCon. Now, I'm gonna pull back the curtain here.

• 1:54:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:54:42Speaker 01

  We're doing some fact checks in advance.

• 1:54:44Dax Shepard?

  Uh-huh.

• 1:54:45Speaker 01

  Which means I didn't pull these facts.

• 1:54:48Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:54:49Speaker 01

  SantaCon is an annual bar crawl where-

• 1:54:51Dax Shepard?

  I'm confused.

• 1:54:52Speaker 01

  You'll see.

• 1:54:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:54:53Speaker 01

  SantaCon is an annual bar crawl where people dress as Santa in hundreds of cities around the world. It came to the US in 96 to Portland, and in 2013, it was in 300 cities globally. 30,000 people participated in the New York City 2012 event. In parentheses, I, Sophia.

• 1:55:10Speaker 01

  I'm embarrassed to say I have participated in it. In my defense, it happened to land on my 21st birthday.

• 1:55:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh, how fun.

• 1:55:18Speaker 01

  So that is so fun.

• 1:55:20Dax Shepard?

  Santa crawl.

• 1:55:21Speaker 01

  Santa Con.

• 1:55:22Dax Shepard?

  Santa Con.

• 1:55:23Speaker 01

  Yes, she was.

• 1:55:24Dax Shepard?

  I wonder what the arrest rate is. It might be the highest per capita of any distinguished group.

• 1:55:30Speaker 01

  I just, can you imagine seeing all these drunk Santas?

• 1:55:33Dax Shepard?

  Peeing in their, their Santa pants and stuff.

• 1:55:35Speaker 01

  Do you think Sophia was wearing a Santa costume?

• 1:55:37Dax Shepard?

  Yes, I do.

• 1:55:38Speaker 01

  Wow, or an elf.

• 1:55:40Dax Shepard?

  Or Mrs. Claus.

• 1:55:41Speaker 01

  You probably gotta go with Santa.

• 1:55:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's not Elf Con.

• 1:55:44Speaker 01

  Right, it's not.

• 1:55:46Dax Shepard?

  It's not Mrs. Claus. We didn't even give her a first, although he doesn't have a first name, so.

• 1:55:49Speaker 01

  Santa.

• 1:55:50Dax Shepard?

  That's his last name.

• 1:55:51Speaker 01

  No, Claus is his last name.

• 1:55:53Dax Shepard?

  So sorry, so sorry, yes. Stand corrected.

• 1:55:56Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:55:57Dax Shepard?

  But does she have a name?

• 1:55:58Speaker 01

  Saint Claus, I mean.

• 1:55:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, Saint Claus.

• 1:56:00Speaker 01

  But Santa Claus, and then she doesn't have one.

• 1:56:03Dax Shepard?

  Mrs. Claus, her first name is Mrs. Yeah.

• 1:56:07Speaker 01

  What is the Dakota Johnson Tilda Swinton movie Luca directed? There are two, they're both in two.

• 1:56:15Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 1:56:16Speaker 01

  A Bigger Splash, which was in 2015, and Suspiria in 2018.

• 1:56:22Dax Shepard?

  Have you seen either?

• 1:56:23Speaker 01

  No, but I did want to see Suspiria because they're like dancers and I think it's scary.

• 1:56:30Speaker 06

  Tom York did the soundtrack for Suspiria.

• 1:56:33Speaker 01

  Oh, cool.

• 1:56:35Dax Shepard?

  You know who that is?

• 1:56:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:37Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:56:37Speaker 01

  Um, he's a big musician.

• 1:56:39Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:56:39Speaker 01

  Wait, what, who is it?

• 1:56:41Speaker 06

  Radiohead, singer of Radiohead.

• 1:56:43Dax Shepard?

  You say Tom Yorn?

• 1:56:44Speaker 01

  York.

• 1:56:44Speaker 06

  Tom York.

• 1:56:45Dax Shepard?

  Okay, York, yeah.

• 1:56:46Speaker 01

  I knew it was a lead singer of a big band because Rob said that before.

• 1:56:51Dax Shepard?

  Great. I, I like his independent stuff even more than Radiohead.

• 1:56:55Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:56:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:56Speaker 01

  What was the, okay, what was the band that did Stereophonic?

• 1:57:04Speaker 06

  Oh, it was, uh, Will Butler, who was in Arcade Fire.

• 1:57:08Speaker 01

  Arcade Fire, okay, because ding ding ding, Sarah Pidgeon, who plays Carolyn Bissett Kennedy in Love Story, was in Stereophonic.

• 1:57:17Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. Multi hyphenate.

• 1:57:20Speaker 01

  Yep. Um, what is the Ryan Murphy with two Ryan Murphy ding ding ding. Didn't even mean to. With two Coopers in it. She couldn't find a movie with two Coopers in it. Um, the, the Menendez story has Cooper Cock and Eric Menendez.

• 1:57:37Dax Shepard?

  All right. Cause there's two Coopers in his, in Ike's movie.

• 1:57:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:41Dax Shepard?

  Show, Running Point. There's two actors named Cooper.

• 1:57:44Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:57:45Dax Shepard?

  I think, and I said, you got two Coopers. That's pretty rare.

• 1:57:48Speaker 01

  Oh, and he said, he said.

• 1:57:50Dax Shepard?

  Bradley Cooper was in Ryan Murphy. He was in Nip Tuck.

• 1:57:54Speaker 01

  Oh, that's right.

• 1:57:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:57:56Speaker 01

  That's right. Early days. Now I think you, don't be mad at me because I didn't check this fact.

• 1:58:01Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:58:02Speaker 01

  Okay. The fact is, did the government go to Lamborghini and ask them to make the tractors? Was it Ducati?

• 1:58:08Dax Shepard?

  Well, not tractors, but military equipment. They were a tractor company that got asked to make military equipment.

• 1:58:13Speaker 01

  Okay. I'm just going to read what this says.

• 1:58:16Speaker 01

  No, Lamborghini trator- trattori is an agricultural machinery manufacturer founded in 1948. Lamborghini was founded in 1963 after Ferrucci Lamborghini had a fight with Enzo Ferrari about the faulty clutch in his Ferrari 250 GT. Maybe what Dax is talking about. Following World War II, the Italian government took control of Ducati and shifted them into motorcycle manufacturing, starting with the Cuciolo moped.

• 1:58:43Dax Shepard?

  That's what I'm thinking of.

• 1:58:45Speaker 01

  Great.

• 1:58:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's it.

• 1:58:48Speaker 01

  I love it when Sophia does the facts.

• 1:58:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's great.

• 1:58:51Speaker 01

  You can't get even mad at me.

• 1:58:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:53Speaker 01

  Okay. Fun facts about capybaras. Biggest rodent in the world. Ew.

• 1:58:57Dax Shepard?

  150 pounds.

• 1:58:58Speaker 01

  Yep. Four feet long, two feet tall.

• 1:59:00Dax Shepard?

  Four feet long.

• 1:59:01Speaker 01

  That's disgusting.

• 1:59:02Dax Shepard?

  That's your height.

• 1:59:03Speaker 01

  Well, no.

• 1:59:04Dax Shepard?

  It's more heavier than you. It's bigger than you.

• 1:59:06Speaker 01

  It is. It is heavier.

• 1:59:08Dax Shepard?

  It's a rodent bigger than you.

• 1:59:09Speaker 01

  Ew. Okay. Found primarily in Brazil, Venezuela, Colombia, Argentina. Lives in rivers, lakes, marshes, flooded grassland. So they're great swimmers, not like me. They practice caprophagy. Capro- oh, eating their own poop. We know.

• 1:59:28Dax Shepard?

  That's standard. Yeah.

• 1:59:30Speaker 01

  They can live in groups of up to a hundred. In some places you can have them as a pet.

• 1:59:37Dax Shepard?

  Maybe I'll get one in Nashville. Rowman around the yard.

• 1:59:40Speaker 01

  Sophia added a little Tel Kaley Cuoco.

• 1:59:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, smart, smart.

• 1:59:45Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. It says supposedly there was something called a Jose Fortigazia monster, an extinct rodent species that may have weighed over a thousand pounds.

• 1:59:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yes.

• 1:59:56Speaker 01

  Ding ding ding.

• 1:59:56Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 1:59:57Speaker 01

  Probably right after Pangaea.

• 1:59:59Dax Shepard?

  Probably in the megafauna era of the Pleistocene, when we had giant sloths and molly mammoths.

• 2:00:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:00:05Dax Shepard?

  And, yeah.

• 2:00:06Speaker 01

  Probably. Was the caning of Michael Fay in Singapore because of chewing gum?

• 2:00:11Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you're right.

• 2:00:12Speaker 01

  No. American student teenager Michael Fay did violate the vandalism act, but not with chewing gum. He was arrested for stealing road signs and vandalizing 18 cars over a 10-day period in September 1993. He pled guilty but later rescinded his plea to the vandalizing but not the road signs to avoid caning. His sentence was reduced from six to four can- can strikes?

• 2:00:36Dax Shepard?

  Can strikes?

• 2:00:37Speaker 01

  She forgot an E.

• 2:00:38Dax Shepard?

  Ooh.

• 2:00:39Speaker 01

  And it was carried out in 1994. He also was sentenced to four months in jail and a fine of $3,500 at the time equivalent to $2,230. The student who pleaded not guilty was sentenced to eight months in prison and 12 strokes. Interestingly, many months after returning to the US, he suffered burns to his hands and face after a butane incident and cited butane abuse in his rehabil- in his rehabilitation program. He says that snuffing butane made him forget what happened in Singapore.

• 2:01:07Dax Shepard?

  Ooh.

• 2:01:07Speaker 01

  In 1992, Singapore did ban the sale, import, and manufacture of chewing gum to reduce vandalism in litter. Chewing gum is not legal in Singapore, but selling or importing can lead to fines in the thousands, still true today. Oh, I'm so sorry. Chewing gum is not illegal in Singapore.

• 2:01:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it's not?

• 2:01:25Speaker 01

  Selling or importing can lead to fines in the thousands, still true today.

• 2:01:29Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so you can't get it. You can't buy it.

• 2:01:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:01:32Dax Shepard?

  So it's, but it's...

• 2:01:33Speaker 01

  So it's virtually non- it's like tobacco Easter egg for something else, like another episode.

• 2:01:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but I'm, I'm really glad my mother and I were still outlaws and smuggled gum in and chewed it.

• 2:01:45Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm happy.

• 2:01:46Dax Shepard?

  Also, you present me with jail time versus caning, cane away.

• 2:01:50Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:01:50Dax Shepard?

  Right?

• 2:01:51Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 2:01:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, let's get caning.

• 2:01:53Speaker 01

  But I don't want any of it.

• 2:01:54Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 2:01:55Speaker 01

  I just want to be clear.

• 2:01:56Dax Shepard?

  But I'd prefer it to incarceration.

• 2:01:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um, that's it. Great job, Sophia, on the facts.

• 2:02:02Dax Shepard?

  Love it. Appreciate it. And we love Ike Barinholtz.

• 2:02:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, we sure do.

• 2:02:07Dax Shepard?

  Continue to love him. And he'll be back.

• 2:02:09Speaker 01

  He'll always be back.

• 2:02:09Dax Shepard?

  First, we can count on it.

• 2:02:11Speaker 01

  All right.

• 2:02:11Dax Shepard?

  All right. Love you.