Pod Insights Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard Ike Barinholtz #4 About this episode Ike Barinholtz (Artificial, Funny You Ask, The Studio) is an award-winning actor, writer, and comedian. Ike returns to the Armchair Expert to discuss the agony and the ecstasy of colonoscopy prep, how all his winning has changed his personality, and what a great group he gets to work with on The Studio. Ike and Dax talk about his crying triggers as he nears 50, why he made the decision not to try standup comedy, and how the idea hit him for his new podcast. Ike explains why everyone loves to answer questions, living his fantasy as a Jeopardy writer, and his adorable obsession with capybaras.
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Transcript 23,634 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Dax Shepard? Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Mouse.
0:04 Speaker 01 Hi there.
0:05 Dax Shepard? Today, we have 12 time returning guest Ike Barinholtz, now an award winning actor and comedian. The studio, The Mindy Project, Blockers, Neighbors, Running Point, and he has a new podcast out now that I have been on, I'm proud to say. I hadn't been at the time of this interview and I have since.
0:25 Speaker 01 Yes.
0:26 Dax Shepard? It's called Funny You Ask, and I'm telling you, it is a blast. You do trivia and you shoot the shit.
0:32 Speaker 01 We do a little trivia in this episode and I want to just, I did not represent my people well.
0:38 Dax Shepard? Okay.
0:38 Speaker 01 Any of my people, Indian people, American people, um, women.
0:44 Dax Shepard? Under 40.
0:45 Speaker 01 Humans, really. I did a bad job and I'm sorry.
0:48 Dax Shepard? Mermaids.
0:49 Speaker 01 Mermaids.
0:50 Dax Shepard? Bad look for mermaids. It really was, came out of nowhere in your defense. You weren't prepped.
0:55 Speaker 01 No, I'm just bad at trivia.
0:56 Dax Shepard? That's fine. What does it get you?
0:58 Speaker 01 If anyone wants to like, give me lessons, trivia lessons, DM me.
1:03 Dax Shepard? I bet you're gonna get actually a lot of offers. Men love teaching women things.
1:07 Speaker 01 Oh God, you're right.
1:09 Dax Shepard? Please enjoy Ike Barinholtz. We get support from Quince.
1:14 Speaker 01 I have to say, I am so ready for fall. I want sweaters. I've been craving a true crisp morning where I actually need a jacket. I can't wait.
1:23 Dax Shepard? I'm fully there. The second it dips below 70, I'm like, this is my season. Give me the layers, give me the boots, give me a reason to wear something other than a t-shirt. And honestly, that's why I love Quince because fall is when your wardrobe actually has to show up. And everything at Quince is 50 to 80% less than similar brands. We're talking 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.
1:45 Speaker 01 $60. $60 for cashmere that you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. It's amazing. Gets me every time. It really shouldn't be real, but it is because they go straight to the factories, they skip the middlemen and they just hand you the savings. The stuff isn't trendy. It's the kind of pieces you grab over and over because they work every time.
2:03 Dax Shepard? The 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for me are it. When I look at Steve McQueen, this man owned a couple of sweaters. He wore all the time and he looks iconic.
2:12 Speaker 01 It's a uniform.
2:14 Dax Shepard? Mm hmm.
2:14 Speaker 01 And Quince isn't just about the clothes. They have hotel quality bedding, cookware, bath essentials, thoughtfully designed furniture. You can really go there and outfit your entire apartment or house. So if you're in need of any kind of fall refresh at home, too, same quality, same attention to detail for every corner of your life.
2:32 Dax Shepard? Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've talked before about Rob building our website on Squarespace and I bring it up again because it's a perfect example of what they do well. Rob had all the pieces, the content, the vision, the ideas, but he needed something to actually take all that and make it public facing. And Squarespace was that bridge. Maybe you're in the same spot. You've been developing something, a business, a skill set, a body of work, and it's been private.
3:17 Dax Shepard? It's been yours, but at some point you're ready to put it out there and that transition from private to public can feel like a huge leap. Squarespace makes it feel like a step. Beautiful templates, built in SEO, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, everything you need to go from. I've been working on this to here it is, come find me. All in one place, no code, no stitching together a bunch of different tools. So if you've been sitting on something and waiting for the right moment, this might be it. Head to squarespace.com slash DAX for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
4:15 Speaker 01 Welcome back to our most returning guest.
4:19 Speaker 02 Am I number one now?
4:21 Dax Shepard? No.
4:22 Speaker 01 You're not.
4:22 Speaker 02 No, I'm not.
4:23 Speaker 01 But I want to think in your house.
4:25 Speaker 02 Andrew Huberman's been on 17 times or some shit.
4:28 Dax Shepard? We've only had one Huberman appearance.
4:30 Speaker 02 I was told on the first double video.
4:32 Dax Shepard? That sounds accurate.
4:34 Speaker 02 Double penetration.
4:35 Dax Shepard? Double penny.
4:36 Speaker 01 That is true.
4:37 Speaker 02 Man, we're starting off right away.
4:40 Speaker 01 Right in that hot water.
4:42 Dax Shepard? The blue, never work blue. Funny, that's rule number one, never work. Never work blue. It has been virtually a year on the dot.
4:51 Speaker 01 Really?
4:51 Dax Shepard? Since your last appearance.
4:52 Speaker 02 Makes sense.
4:53 Dax Shepard? It feels like a checkup, like a physical.
4:55 Speaker 02 Hmm.
4:56 Speaker 01 Oh, boy.
4:56 Dax Shepard? And then it got me wondering, how on top of that are you? Cause I'm gonna have my physical next week and I have a colonoscopy Monday. So I'm right in the throes of lots of health scheduling.
5:06 Speaker 02 I had my physical Monday.
5:07 Dax Shepard? You did?
5:08 Speaker 02 I did.
5:08 Dax Shepard? Okay, great.
5:09 Speaker 02 A fasting physical or you got to just arrive? I can't have anything but water in the morning, which is so hard.
5:16 Dax Shepard? And coffee, black coffee?
5:18 Speaker 02 You can have black coffee, but I need like half and half. I'm such a basic little, I need my half and half.
5:22 Speaker 01 I get it.
5:23 Speaker 02 That one morning I was like, ah, it's like in a bad mood for like 40 minutes. But it was good. He's a great doctor. He checked my prostate for like an hour.
5:32 Speaker 01 Oh.
5:33 Speaker 02 It's like a full extended remix.
5:35 Dax Shepard? He has his worries or that's for everyone.
5:38 Speaker 02 Did I tell you, I don't know if I told you this, the first time I had him check my prostate, I didn't know what to expect. Personally, there's not been a whole lot in that direction in that place.
5:48 Speaker 01 Okay.
5:49 Speaker 02 Historically.
5:50 Dax Shepard? You put your own finger in your butt.
5:51 Speaker 02 Not really.
5:52 Dax Shepard? Never.
5:52 Speaker 02 Not really.
5:53 Dax Shepard? You were like, I was a teenager and I was like masturbating and I thought, I wonder if this like, I was just trying every single thing.
6:00 Speaker 02 There was just something that I was just like.
6:02 Speaker 01 I don't need to do that.
6:03 Dax Shepard? Okay.
6:04 Speaker 01 Not interested.
6:04 Speaker 02 No, it's a personal thing. And even as like a crazy perverted Jewish teenager, I was like, nah.
6:10 Dax Shepard? I'm gonna skip that one.
6:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'll skip that one.
6:12 Dax Shepard? So suffice to say, you probably never ever had anything in your butt.
6:15 Speaker 02 Nothing substantial for more than a few seconds.
6:18 Dax Shepard? Okay, okay.
6:19 Speaker 02 Wasn't a feeling I was longing to return to.
6:21 Speaker 01 Sure, sure, sure.
6:22 Speaker 02 Maybe like one point like a long time ago.
6:25 Dax Shepard? Okay. You know, a little tipsy.
6:26 Speaker 02 Bra, put a pinky up.
6:27 Dax Shepard? Sure, sure, a little tipsy.
6:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean.
6:29 Dax Shepard? You know, an exploratory.
6:31 Speaker 02 Anyways, he gets in there with his frigging hand.
6:33 Speaker 01 Oh, boy.
6:34 Speaker 02 Woo! Felt crazy. I was like, oh, it's done in two seconds. And I was so happy it was done. He goes, oh, your prostate is perfect. He didn't do that.
6:44 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
6:45 Speaker 02 That would have been disgusting. How he done that, chef.
6:47 Speaker 01 Put his fingers in his mouth immediately.
6:49 Speaker 02 But he handed me like a box of tissues. You can use that to wipe the lube out. And for reasons I'll never know, I went, I'm fine.
6:56 Dax Shepard? Oh, like it was emasculating to wipe.
6:58 Speaker 02 I wanted just to kind of move past it.
7:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, you want it to be over.
7:00 Speaker 02 And I didn't want to be like, thank you. So I was like, I'm good. And he goes, okay. And, and then like the next 10 minutes, I'm just kind of like,
7:08 Speaker 01 Oh, sloppy.
7:09 Speaker 02 Slapping, sliding around.
7:11 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
7:11 Speaker 02 Getting all squishy on the table. So now I wipe it out.
7:15 Dax Shepard? You have to.
7:16 Speaker 02 Yes, I'm gonna drive home down Woolshire just like,
7:19 Dax Shepard? Yeah, potentially bleeding through under the seat.
7:21 Speaker 02 Look, there was no blood.
7:23 Speaker 01 No, no, seeping through.
7:25 Speaker 02 Seeping, right, right, right, right.
7:27 Dax Shepard? Leaching.
7:27 Speaker 02 Leaching, leaching. I don't need that stuff leaching into my, uh, Lincoln. Uh, anyways, I went on Monday. It was great. Everything was really good.
7:35 Dax Shepard? And he got in there again.
7:37 Speaker 02 Every time. The colonoscopy is only every couple of years. The prostate's every year.
7:40 Dax Shepard? The digital exam, they say, yeah.
7:42 Speaker 02 The colonoscopy, have you ever had one before?
7:45 Dax Shepard? Oh, yeah, I've had so many.
7:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:46 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
7:47 Speaker 02 You have like one a week.
7:48 Dax Shepard? I used to, because in my family, I had on my mother's side, an uncle that had a colostomy. And then my cousin that was my age had to have one in his twenties.
7:58 Speaker 02 Woo!
7:59 Dax Shepard? So.
7:59 Speaker 02 That is family history, Ben.
8:00 Dax Shepard? So I was going from 18 every three years. I can't tell you how many. And then I finally saw one out here and he goes, it doesn't really generally move on the maternal side. Like, you don't need to get this many. So then I backed off for a while and now I'm back in a five year rotation.
8:15 Speaker 02 Good. I will say, I love the nap.
8:18 Speaker 01 Sure.
8:19 Speaker 02 The Michael Jackson nap.
8:20 Dax Shepard? I'm already rehearsing my charming pitch to them.
8:24 Speaker 02 Okay.
8:25 Dax Shepard? Because first they give you Versed to relax you, but then they hit you with the propofol really quick.
8:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8:31 Dax Shepard? But that little window of Versed is all I get.
8:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8:34 Dax Shepard? And it's once every five years.
8:35 Speaker 02 Tell them, you know, drop the Versed, then go make a phone call, get some coffee, come back and then we'll do the propofol.
8:40 Dax Shepard? Exactly.
8:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8:42 Dax Shepard? And so I gotta roll that out in the least addicty, most charming way possible, where they don't think I'm a drug seeker just getting this procedure to get that 30 seconds of Versed. So it's a fine line I'm walking.
8:53 Speaker 02 The worst part, though, for me is the prep, the night before the soup prep. I drink it, it tastes like poison that has gone bad. Like it's expired.
9:02 Dax Shepard? Poison.
9:03 Speaker 02 It turned to poison. And it is like comical. How quickly you go from like, I'm on a Zoom, everything's cool, to like fucking Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber just, whoa.
9:13 Dax Shepard? Yeah. Torrential's the only adjective.
9:16 Speaker 02 Monsoon season.
9:17 Dax Shepard? Yes.
9:17 Speaker 02 In my bathroom.
9:18 Speaker 01 Are you gonna weigh yourself before and after?
9:20 Dax Shepard? You know how neurotic I am about all this. And also my procedure's kind of late on Mondays. That day, and I'm like, I'm gonna lose like five pounds probably. So the last couple of days I've been eating ferociously, knowing we have this moment of scarcity coming. But I kind of knew it was coming and this didn't occur to me until this morning. So Kristen hosts the SAG Awards on Sunday.
9:39 Speaker 02 Yes, I'll be there.
9:40 Dax Shepard? Yeah, of course you will.
9:41 Speaker 01 You're doing a bit for us, which we're very, very grateful for.
9:44 Dax Shepard? So what we did last year was like, I bring the kids up and we hang backstage and it's really fun. We get to see mom. And so that's of course the plan again this year. And then just this morning, I'm brushing my teeth and I said, Kristen, I said, you know, love, I'm going to be evacuating every 15, 20 minutes on Sunday. That's my prep day.
10:00 Speaker 02 Oh, no.
10:01 Dax Shepard? I'm a little nervous about the logistics of me juggling two kids.
10:04 Speaker 01 You can.
10:05 Dax Shepard? In a public.
10:06 Speaker 02 Wear a diaper. You gotta diaper, baby.
10:09 Speaker 01 Oh, no. It's gonna smell so bad next day.
10:12 Dax Shepard? And it's a communal bathroom, you know? And it's all my heroes. And I'm gonna be in and out of there with full torrential sounds.
10:20 Speaker 02 Dude, you're gonna be.
10:21 Speaker 01 You can't come.
10:21 Speaker 02 Just blasting off next to Stellan Skarsgård.
10:25 Dax Shepard? I loved.
10:26 Speaker 02 He said about, he wins this award and he's like, I just want to say, Beck Shepard gave the bathroom a paint job before.
10:33 Dax Shepard? The real suffering. I knew suffering until I shared a bathroom.
10:37 Speaker 01 This really does need to be thought through.
10:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, you gotta make a plan.
10:41 Dax Shepard? I can already predict what's gonna happen. I know me and I know my history, so I'm gonna load up at noon and start the process. And I know by four, I'm gonna say it's all done. We're safe to go. Kids in the car. We know this is gonna happen.
10:57 Speaker 01 Well, we can't make the show about your poo.
10:59 Speaker 02 You're gonna be hugging Ted Danson and you're just gonna.
11:02 Dax Shepard? I can't not go to this for Kristen and not bring the kids. So this is gonna happen. But I already know that I'm gonna be way too confident. By 4pm, when I leave for the show, I'll be like, yeah, I had four hours of it. There's nothing left. Start earlier. Start at nine.
11:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:19 Dax Shepard? But will that fuck up the whole?
11:21 Speaker 02 Yes.
11:23 Dax Shepard? What do I think my second dose right as I'm walking into the theater?
11:28 Dax Shepard? I just decide like, fuck it, let's go all in. This is gonna be miserable. Let's go for it.
11:32 Speaker 02 Oh, no.
11:33 Dax Shepard? But these are the weirdest things. You can't really anticipate or plan for it. It's like, we had a bulletproof schedule and now I'm gonna be flushing out my whole lower GI.
11:42 Speaker 02 My mistake I learned was the day after, cause I was so hungry and I was like, I'm gonna treat myself. And I ordered from, rest in peace, Son of a Gun, one of my favorite restaurants.
11:52 Dax Shepard? Was that a sandwich shop?
11:54 Speaker 02 It was like a New England seafood place, but they had like lobster rolls, fries.
11:58 Speaker 01 By the John and Vinnie's people.
12:00 Speaker 02 It was a John and Vinnie's people. That is like taking a riding mower onto the autobahn.
12:05 Dax Shepard? You know what I mean, Ryan? I was just like not ready for what that wrought. So that's a bummer. So eat light. You know what's funny for me? Every time I do it, I get the craving for the exact same thing. It's McDonald's french fries.
12:15 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, those are good.
12:16 Dax Shepard? The second I get in, they'll be like, oh, I'm about a couple hours away from McDonald's french fries.
12:20 Speaker 02 That's a nice treat. That's a nice treat. Yeah, yeah, those are good.
12:22 Dax Shepard? Makes the whole thing almost worth it. Now, back to your digital exam on your prostate.
12:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
12:26 Dax Shepard? Your mind must go to the exact same place. Mine does 100%. I think even maybe if you could count us down on three. What do you wanna do the second he puts his finger in your butt? And you count us down from three. Let's see if we get lucky.
12:38 Speaker 01 Three, two, one.
12:39 Dax Shepard? Moon River.
12:42 Speaker 01 Wow.
12:42 Speaker 02 Damn, I thought for sure we'd get that.
12:45 Speaker 01 Wow. That.
12:49 Speaker 02 What did you say? Come? I said come. I'm sorry. I didn't know. Well, no, no.
12:54 Dax Shepard? See you in me.
12:56 Speaker 02 Both pump, pump spray.
12:57 Speaker 01 Moon River.
12:58 Speaker 02 Is a reference from Fletch.
13:00 Speaker 01 Oh, thank you. I was like, what the fuck?
13:03 Dax Shepard? But I knew he, and then, and then Doc using the whole fist.
13:08 Speaker 02 Use the whole fist up there, Doc. Did you watch the Chevy documentary?
13:11 Dax Shepard? I did.
13:12 Speaker 02 I started and I stopped.
13:13 Dax Shepard? You did?
13:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:14 Dax Shepard? Tell me why.
13:15 Speaker 02 Cause it was just bumming me out. Full disclosure, I have heard nothing but horrible stories about him for years.
13:21 Dax Shepard? Oh, uh huh.
13:22 Speaker 02 For guys like us, he was a big, big guy. National Lampoon's Vacation, I'm sorry. It's like one of my favorite movies.
13:27 Speaker 01 It's great.
13:28 Speaker 02 Still to this day, it's so fucking great. Fletch is great. He was just really funny. And some people like, I understand they didn't connect with him. I get it. Cause his air is just not for everyone.
13:37 Dax Shepard? He's arrogant. That's kind of what he's playing up.
13:39 Speaker 02 But I heard all these stories for years and then I started watching and I was like, I just want to have the memory.
13:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's okay.
13:45 Dax Shepard? There are several different things that could have been the things that took you out of it. So, so that's why I'm curious. Is it that like, here's a guy who is now doing small shows to support himself? Is it that?
13:56 Speaker 02 It's a bummer.
13:57 Dax Shepard? Is it how he's treating the interviewer?
13:59 Speaker 02 Bummer.
14:00 Dax Shepard? I loved him and then just got more and more depressed every time I heard stories of people who worked with him, right? But I watched the doc and I ended up with like kind of a lot of compassion for him. I mean, he had a very fucked up childhood.
14:14 Speaker 02 For sure. And I will say, seems like he's a really good dad and husband now loves his family.
14:20 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
14:21 Speaker 02 It's tough.
14:22 Dax Shepard? Yeah, it's tough. It's tough. Here's what gave me the compassion is I think there is a category of person who's an asshole. And they don't give a fuck and they're not even questioning it. And then I think there are people that are assholes and they themselves are suffering greatly from it. There's no, eh, fuck you and I don't care. And there's no wreckage or bill to pay. But when I'm watching that, I'm like, yeah, he's deeply uncomfortable a lot of the time in his own skin. And he's got impulse shit and he's probably ADHD and all these things. And he's an addict. I don't think the guy's winning. It's not like he's feeling great about being this asshole.
14:58 Speaker 02 But I guess to me, he was winning for so long. I never get someone who had it and then just kind of threw. I would say misbehavior a little bit.
15:08 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah.
15:09 Speaker 02 Lost it. It's hard for me to really find the sympathy there. Like, I don't think he's a hateful man.
15:13 Dax Shepard? Right, right, right.
15:14 Speaker 02 But I just want to remember him talking to like Eugene Levy in Vacation and that will be my memory of him. I don't need to see him old and feeble and like yelling at like a woman who's like asking him questions.
15:26 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, cranky. Did you make it to the part, though, where they go through his talk show that he did?
15:33 Speaker 02 No, but I remember that talk show.
15:34 Dax Shepard? Okay.
15:35 Speaker 02 The Goldfish.
15:36 Speaker 01 What happened?
15:36 Speaker 02 Piano. It was one of the biggest bombs around like 1994. It was Talk Show Mania.
15:42 Dax Shepard? Sally Jesse had one.
15:43 Speaker 02 Jesse had one. Arsenio Hall. Joan Rivers tried one. It was about, why is there only Johnny Carson? Everyone started one and then Chevy was like the big blue chip new talk show for 94?
15:56 Dax Shepard? I can't remember the exact year.
15:57 Speaker 02 He was completely unsuited for it.
15:59 Dax Shepard? So that's the part I would have liked for you to have seen. Because this guy is defined by his confidence. He just starts right away on Sorry, Live. Like, when you've seen that early footage of him, it's crazy.
16:11 Speaker 02 Swag he had, yeah.
16:12 Dax Shepard? So much fucking swagger and then he's playing the piano confidently. He's doing everything. He's ridden on this superpower of confidence and he gets on that stage and they show the footage and he already kind of knows it's not going to be great. And to see him having lost that entirely.
16:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:28 Dax Shepard? You can feel it. As you and I, and you, anyone who's a performance man on stage to watch that dude have to go out there every night with zero confidence and just suffer through it until they kill it. He certainly took some on the chin along the way. He gave a lot. He gave way too much out.
16:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:46 Dax Shepard? But he also suffered like a motherfucker.
16:48 Speaker 02 He suffered, but I suffered when I watched Nothing But Trouble. Very bad movie, folks. Folks, not good.
16:55 Dax Shepard? The other doc I wanted to ask you about that I presume you watched is, did you watch the Scorsese one?
16:59 Speaker 02 That I like inhaled.
17:01 Speaker 01 He's your guy.
17:02 Speaker 02 He's the boy. He's the guy. All of his movies. Anytime they're on TV, I'll watch all of them. He's the greatest. And the doc was amazing. I could have watched another three or four parts of it.
17:11 Dax Shepard? Okay, but now any sadness. Now, I guess you run the risk of like he was on the show and maybe he'll be back. So maybe you have some personal relationship with him.
17:18 Speaker 02 He's a coaster. He's a close friend. I had breakfast with him this morning.
17:20 Dax Shepard? Okay. Is he who dropped you off?
17:22 Speaker 02 He dropped me off.
17:23 Dax Shepard? Okay.
17:23 Speaker 02 He hangs out in LA and runs errands. He's great for airport pickup.
17:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:29 Speaker 02 I can be landing at LAX and right when they say you turn your phone on, I can text him. And wherever he's at in the city, he'll come and get me and the kids.
17:37 Speaker 01 Rob it.
17:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, he's got sadness in his life.
17:39 Dax Shepard? The things that I thought were really helpful is you just look at his career in the totality and you really ignore that he had tons and tons of valleys and he had tons of back to the drawing boards. So that stuff is really encouraging. Even in the doc, and he'll be the first to admit it, if Leo doesn't come around and say, I want to work with you, I don't know what's going to happen. He is not getting movies made and he is not getting people signing up at that moment in his career. And Leo takes him on a ride that is incredible and he's a real savior at that moment.
18:11 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah. Well, because he does Casino, which is bomb, but then he's so cool that then he makes like The Age of Innocence, which is like a complete departure for him. And then he does the Nick Cage movie, which again, totally crazy different movie.
18:22 Dax Shepard? It doesn't work financially.
18:24 Speaker 02 It doesn't really work financially and stuff. Yes.
18:25 Dax Shepard? He owns it in the doc.
18:27 Speaker 02 Leo, he definitely, which makes me just love Leo more.
18:30 Dax Shepard? I know, because if you couldn't love the dude more.
18:32 Speaker 02 I love that guy.
18:33 Dax Shepard? I like being reminded, yeah, you could be as talented as Martin Scorsese and then also the luck gods need to be on your side too. And then ultimately though, I will say, and this is super selfish, but he paid an enormous price to be as good as he was. He was so hyper focused and he ignored everything in his life.
18:53 Speaker 02 Yes.
18:54 Dax Shepard? And all the wives will tell you that, he'll say it, the kids will say it. And for me, I was just watching it and I was like, I'm very sad with this. That's not the outcome I'm looking for. I guess I don't give a fuck about being a genius.
19:10 Speaker 02 Me personally, if it came down to my family, both the one I have here and the one in Vegas.
19:16 Speaker 01 Uh huh. Sure.
19:17 Dax Shepard? And an Academy Award opportunity that made you ignore them for two years.
19:20 Speaker 02 Right. I'm more of that guy where I'm just like, I'll work less, whatever. He's not.
19:26 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm grateful for us.
19:28 Speaker 02 A, I'm very grateful for that because of the work he gave us, but also there is something now about like seeing him with Francesca now and his daughter and it feels like he is at peace now. He is connected to his family. I think their relationship is beautiful. I think she looks at herself as like a steward of his art.
19:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
19:48 Speaker 02 And also putting him, I don't know if you guys follow her on TikTok, but like the videos of her and him together are so. Fucking adorable and wholesome.
19:59 Speaker 01 Oh, ew.
20:00 Speaker 02 They're so good. And so I had seen all that before the doc. Knowing where he's at now, that didn't hit me as much. I was just grateful. I was grateful he made it out of the seventies. Most of the great guys out of the seventies never made it out.
20:12 Dax Shepard? He spent a couple of years inside doing coke with fucking aluminum foil on the windows.
20:16 Speaker 02 A crazy man with coke and asthma condition and like going crazy. And so I'm just grateful that he made it out. Can you imagine if he didn't? We'd never had Goodfellas. Like it would be such a shitty world. So my takeaway was just like, I'm so happy for him. I know it sounds crazy for a guy that I worked with for like five hours one day, but my takeaway was like,
20:37 Speaker 01 He's your best friend.
20:37 Speaker 02 He's a close friend. Him and Dave Stassen are my two closest.
20:41 Speaker 01 You, since we saw you, have become a very winning man.
20:46 Speaker 02 Hashtag winning.
20:47 Speaker 01 You've been winning. And how's it changed your personality?
20:51 Speaker 02 I'm a dick.
20:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:53 Speaker 02 You know, on an interpersonal level now. I never had that before, but I'm very short and rude with my friends. Can we hurry this fucking thing up, by the way?
20:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'm surprised we even came back, if I'm being honest.
21:02 Speaker 02 Absolutely. Nothing has changed.
21:04 Speaker 01 But does it make you feel like, ooh, I kind of want to keep, like now you're in this elite?
21:09 Speaker 02 The funny thing is, for years, you're like, I don't give a shit about award shows. Then you get nominated for one, you're like, I'm excited for this award.
21:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:17 Speaker 02 The only one that I actually won, I think, was the Critics' Choice. But I remember I got nominated for an Emmy and people who are well meaning and intentional say to you like, you're for sure going to win.
21:26 Speaker 01 Right.
21:26 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, yeah. Trust me, you're for sure. And then you start to be like, I'm going to win.
21:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:30 Speaker 02 And then you start to craft little narratives in your head. You have people on your team, your friends who are like, it's either you or Harrison Ford. And that's just what it's going to be. And so I remember being not shocked, but being like, holy shit, I didn't win. Harrison Ford, what the fuck? And being like mad. And then the next day being so mad that I was mad about this shit. So I remember going into the Critics' Choice being like, I'm not paying attention to this going in. This is wonderful. I'm honored, but I'm just like, I'm not going to allow myself to be caught being upset about it.
22:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:03 Speaker 02 Then I remember the second they called the category, I was Like, oh, please pick me, pick me.
22:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's honest. Yes.
22:10 Speaker 02 That's the honest truth, I think. And I think everyone feels that way, even if they say it.
22:14 Speaker 01 Yes, they do.
22:15 Dax Shepard? Had you written a speech that you were excited to deliver?
22:18 Speaker 02 Cause you're a great writer and you're a live performer. For the Emmys, I did. Critics chose, I did not, because I was just like,
22:25 Dax Shepard? I'm not gonna win.
22:26 Speaker 02 Not gonna think about it. I'm not gonna put myself in that position again.
22:29 Speaker 01 Yes.
22:29 Speaker 02 Uh, so then I won, I was like, oh, fuck. So then I just was like, I love my wife. She loves me so much. Please come up here. Well, I did, when I, when I got up there, the first thing I did was just look in the crowd and locked eyes with Benicio. And I was like, nah, can't do that. Mustn't do that.
22:47 Speaker 02 Too cool for me, man.
22:48 Speaker 01 So cool.
22:49 Speaker 02 Can't gaze upon him.
22:50 Dax Shepard? In general, that show, the few I've been at with where it's at, it kinda sweeps. It's a insanely winning show.
22:59 Speaker 02 I think it's won everything. It's been up for more or less.
23:01 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
23:02 Speaker 02 Crazy.
23:03 Dax Shepard? Yeah. So the vibe of all being together and going to the different things together. Is this a party?
23:08 Speaker 02 Most fun. Seth is the greatest guy and Evan Goldberg is so fun. Catherine Hahn.
23:13 Dax Shepard? Oh.
23:13 Speaker 02 Chase Wee Wonders is the funniest. It's a great, great group and good people to be with at those things.
23:19 Dax Shepard? No, I want to ask this. This question is dicey in that it may sound like I'm implying something. I'm not, I'm genuinely curious. You've been on a bunch of different things that have worked. I don't know what ratings are and stuff. Is America, like, we are all the studio.
23:33 Speaker 02 Sure.
23:34 Dax Shepard? A hundred percent. How does it compare to being on like Mindy or Running Point?
23:38 Speaker 02 I don't know. I know that a lot of people come up who are not in the business. Like I was just flying, we just flew to Canada. And the guy sitting in front of us was watching the studio and I could kinda see it. And he stood up to go to the bathroom and looked at me and goes, I want you to know I was watching that before I saw you.
23:54 Speaker 02 I love when people not in the business love the show.
23:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:57 Speaker 02 Like, that is very cool. And I think they did a good job, even though the show is, no matter what, about the business, inside baseball. They do hit on themes that are pretty universal. Everyone's got like a boss who's annoying or they want credit for an idea. Like my friend Debbie, she's like, I want you to know, my husband literally does not watch TV. He doesn't watch anything except Ohio State sports. He loves the studio.
24:18 Speaker 01 Oh, great.
24:19 Speaker 02 That's great. We're gonna like it, cause we know we've been in this situation. I think in this day and age. For a show to work, it either has to have huge ratings, like Running Point,
24:31 Speaker 02 or has good ratings slash great ratings. People love it. Critics love it. It wins awards. I imagine the studio kind of falls in that category where people watch it, it gets good numbers, but it's not like a Netflix, like Running Point, which is like a big
24:44 Dax Shepard? Global.
24:45 Speaker 02 Global.
24:46 Dax Shepard? Kate Hudson.
24:47 Speaker 02 Global.
24:48 Dax Shepard? It's global.
24:48 Speaker 02 I'm a globalist.
24:51 Speaker 02 But it's my favorite show to work. It's so fun. Everyone's so great. It's just wonderful people.
24:56 Dax Shepard? So you guys have already shot season two or you're in the process of it?
25:00 Speaker 02 Right now, my man.
25:01 Dax Shepard? You're doing it right now?
25:02 Speaker 02 We're doing it right now, literally.
25:04 Dax Shepard? And what is your work schedule like on that?
25:06 Speaker 02 It's not light.
25:09 Speaker 02 We're able to break off a couple hours for this and that, for this.
25:14 Speaker 02 It is weird. It's not your typical show where it's like, okay, today is just Chase. And then tomorrow is all of us. And then it's just Seth. It's like usually everyone's in on every scene. And the way they shoot it, I think there was a time where I got there and they were like, you actually don't think you're gonna be in this. And I was like, okay. It's one of those shows where you just completely surrender to the schedule.
25:33 Dax Shepard? You're on call. You're like an OB.
25:35 Speaker 02 I am. I've been doing some amateur OB.
25:41 Dax Shepard? You're kind of a hobbyist.
25:42 Speaker 02 I'm more of a hobbyist. Enthusiast, let's say. OB one Kenobi. Is that anything? If your baby doctor's last name was Kenobi? My OB is Kenobi. Is that, is that like?
25:53 Dax Shepard? It's gonna take a lot of setup.
25:54 Speaker 02 We can riff on?
25:55 Dax Shepard? It's gonna take a lot of setup. I'll just say that.
25:57 Speaker 02 What if your last name was Kenobi?
25:59 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
25:59 Speaker 02 You should probably go in.
26:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's right. Let's have some fucking fun, guys. Come on.
26:07 Dax Shepard? Okay, so you're doing that one right now? And then is Running Point in production?
26:11 Speaker 02 Running Point is not in production, but we're starting to kind of get some ideas together for season three.
26:17 Dax Shepard? So you've already completed season two?
26:19 Speaker 02 Season two is, it's what they call in the business, in the can, baby. Have you seen Song Song Blue, by the way?
26:25 Speaker 01 No.
26:26 Dax Shepard? Have not.
26:26 Speaker 01 I've heard it's great.
26:27 Dax Shepard? I keep hearing it's great.
26:28 Speaker 02 The movie's so good. Her performance, it's one of the best I've seen in so long. I was so Fucking happy for her because I remember her telling me about this movie. She's like, it's really fun. It's me and Hugh and I knew the band that it's about.
26:40 Dax Shepard? You did?
26:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, cuz they were in Chicago. People would be like, I was in Milwaukee last weekend. I saw this Neil Diamond cover band. It's a lady. So I remember them. I remember Pearl Jam having them open for Pearl Jam. That's in the movie. And then she told me about the movie and she's like, and I think she said it's gonna come out on Christmas day. And I was like, Focus Features is putting a movie out on Christmas day. They think it is really good. And I saw it. We went to the screening and like months, months ago. It was so embarrassing how hard I was crying.
27:07 Dax Shepard? Oh, really?
27:08 Speaker 02 It's emotional and she is so great in it. I hope she wins the Oscar. She just killed it.
27:14 Dax Shepard? How much are you crying these days? You're approaching 50, right? You're around the corner?
27:19 Speaker 02 No.
27:21 Speaker 02 What the fuck?
27:22 Dax Shepard? That fucking kind of a question. I'm sorry. I'm way off.
27:25 Speaker 02 Thirty-six. I gotta go, guys.
27:29 Dax Shepard? I'm sure you're late to something.
27:30 Speaker 02 I'm approaching.
27:31 Dax Shepard? You're forty-nine, right?
27:32 Speaker 02 I'm forty-nine. Okay, go. Just turned forty-nine. I cry not maybe as much, but more violently and worse.
27:39 Dax Shepard? Oh, okay. So frequency is the same, but dosage?
27:42 Speaker 02 Maybe actually a little less.
27:43 Dax Shepard? Oh, interesting.
27:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, cuz before I was crying like, I'm having fun watching TV. Ah, it's a nice commercial. Now I'm just stoic, stoic, stoic. And then the life happens or the external world happens and I'll go into like my closet.
27:58 Dax Shepard? And what are the triggers?
27:59 Speaker 02 Daddy-daughter stuff? How do we do with daddy-daughter stuff? Daddy-daughter stuff's not too bad, only cuz I think my kids are a little younger than yours and they're still in the, we love dad and wanna hang out.
28:09 Dax Shepard? But Interstellar, once I had a baby, it's like, oh, this guy's gonna miss his daughter's life. I'm destroyed.
28:15 Speaker 02 Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. I was in Italy for two and a half weeks away from my family and I'm flying back home. And I was like, man, I haven't watched Interstellar in a minute.
28:25 Speaker 01 Horrible idea.
28:26 Dax Shepard? And you just missed two and a half weeks of your family's life.
28:29 Speaker 02 The scene when he walks in, he's like, oh, my gosh, it's my daughter, Murph. I fucking lost it on All Italia.
28:39 Speaker 02 Like Robert De Niro would analyze this.
28:44 Speaker 02 Fuck it. To me, it's more like we're at the age now where people are dying, where you have life catching up. You have friends with kids that get sick. That's the real shit. That's the stuff where you're crying. You don't feel silly about it. Where you're like, I fucking need to do this. And then there's just the random things. Like I watched a clip the other day of, I want to say it was maybe the Liverpool Football Club.
29:05 Dax Shepard? Soccer match?
29:05 Speaker 02 Not gonna cry talking about it, but it was them and it was like a thing with.
29:11 Dax Shepard? You're halfway there. Yeah. So give me every detail.
29:13 Speaker 02 It's like this sweet handicap kid and they show up at his school and they're like, who's a Liverpool fan? And he's like, I am. And they take him, they take him to the stadium and they meet every player. And then they put him on the sidelines. And I was like, I'm an Arsenal fan, but like I might have to switch to Liverpool now. That was like eight oh seven on the toilet. Sob.
29:36 Speaker 02 But it's still overall less than it was probably a year ago, a couple of years ago. I don't know why, maybe because I'm.
29:41 Dax Shepard? You're too busy, maybe.
29:42 Speaker 02 Maybe too busy. Too busy to cry. It's the name of my autobiography.
29:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, we have a theory that these older men, it's all burbled up their whole life and it's coming out all the time. Dax cries every day.
29:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. Especially the older guys. Grown up in the eighties. If you cried in front of one of your buddies, it was like, you're gay.
30:02 Dax Shepard? Had a better just been blown up in a car bomb or something.
30:06 Speaker 02 There was a stigma to it. And then it started in the nineties. You started seeing like modern dads. And now it is a good thing. Anyone who says it's bad, that's nonsense. It's good to fucking get it out.
30:19 Speaker 03 Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.
30:25 Dax Shepard? We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking which platform you watch that new show on. So frustrating. 15 minutes later, you've logged into seven apps, reset two passwords and still haven't found it. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Co. and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We get support from Superhuman. Look, I love what I do. The conversations, the ideas, the creative stuff. But there's this whole other layer of work that eats my day alive. The inbox that never ends, docs I need to get through, threads I'm behind on.
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31:55 Dax Shepard? Find out more at superhuman.com. This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not so dreamy parts. The stuff that gets in the way of the actual work. Now that's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They don't just tell you what you should do about your busy work. They actually do it, start to finish, cases closed, requests handled, no extra work for you. So you and your team can focus on what matters most, which for me is,
32:38 Dax Shepard? are they obsessed with male bodies on the same level as I am?
32:41 Speaker 01 They never are.
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34:16 Dax Shepard? My frequency rate just has gone like this, you know?
34:19 Speaker 02 Well, you're very emotional. Like, I'm an emotional guy. I think you are more emotional than me.
34:24 Dax Shepard? That might be true, but I think it was very hidden.
34:26 Speaker 01 Well, you're sensitive.
34:27 Dax Shepard? I'm very sensitive. I bet I'm more sensitive than you.
34:30 Speaker 02 Yes, yeah.
34:30 Dax Shepard? Yours are now, what, six, eight, and 12?
34:34 Speaker 02 Eight, 10, and 12.
34:36 Dax Shepard? The 12-year-old? I have a 12-year-old.
34:38 Speaker 02 Yes.
34:39 Dax Shepard? Have we started to have any moments where they break your heart?
34:43 Speaker 02 Oh, my God, yeah.
34:44 Dax Shepard? And were you prepared for it? And even though you'd been told about it, do you find yourself going like, wow, I'm so deeply hurt in this moment, and I know I'm not supposed to be?
34:52 Speaker 02 For me, it's like small things. I try not to let it affect me. For instance, a couple of weeks ago, I loved to cook.
34:59 Dax Shepard? Five nights a week, they say.
35:00 Speaker 02 Pretty much. If I'm not shooting, easy five nights a week. One night's burgers, one night, maybe we'll go get ramen or some. But I cooked dinner, so excited, made my daughter's favorite things, and at four o'clock, she was like, hey, I'm gonna sleep at Lula's. And I was like, yeah, you should.
35:17 Dax Shepard? You should. Yeah. I'm so happy you have a good friend.
35:20 Speaker 01 Oh.
35:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, I would never be like, no, what the fuck? I'm making cutlets and mashed potatoes.
35:27 Speaker 02 So there's moments like that. Once you get a little bit older, I feel like that's when it will really start to kind of hit more. I feel bad like when they feel bad about something.
35:36 Speaker 01 Right.
35:36 Speaker 02 That's the empathy kind of thing of like, oh, they're having a hard time with this. I get mad for my daughter when she has to do a ton of homework. Don't you remember as a kid being like, the fuck is this shit?
35:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:48 Speaker 02 What a scam.
35:50 Speaker 01 It's bullshit.
35:50 Speaker 02 I go to school all day.
35:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:53 Speaker 02 Busting my ass. Meanwhile, I was not even.
35:55 Dax Shepard? No, you were rarely trying.
35:57 Speaker 02 Then I got to come home and deal with this shit? No. And so I've always hated homework and seeing them have to do like hours of homework. I'm like, just let it be kids.
36:05 Dax Shepard? Have you had a Valentine's heartbreak yet?
36:07 Speaker 02 No, not a Valentine. She has been perfect amount of healthy detachment when it comes to boys.
36:13 Dax Shepard? Okay.
36:13 Speaker 02 Where clearly like her and her girlfriends talk about it. And some of her girls are boy crazy.
36:18 Dax Shepard? All love Timothy Chalamet, right? There's like some go-tos.
36:21 Speaker 02 Here's who they love. Timothy is a big one. I get it.
36:25 Speaker 01 Yep, we all get it.
36:26 Speaker 02 My oldest daughter loves Tyler, the creator.
36:29 Speaker 01 Oh, great pick.
36:31 Speaker 02 She just thinks he's so cool. She like wants to be his friend. And then who else does she like? She had a huge crush on Anthony Davis. Played for the Lakers for years.
36:44 Dax Shepard? Okay.
36:45 Speaker 02 He was like seven 14.
36:48 Speaker 02 She was like, he's so dreamy. Timmy and Tyler, I'd say are the ones. Like I saw Tyler at like Cookbook.
36:55 Speaker 01 Oh, I know. He hangs out there.
36:56 Speaker 02 He loves it. I'm gonna blow up a spot. But if you don't know which one, don't say which one. When I told her that I saw him there, she was like, what?
37:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:06 Speaker 02 He's cool.
37:07 Speaker 01 So she loves Marty Supreme then?
37:08 Speaker 02 We let her watch some of Marty Supreme, but it was stressing her out a little too much. She loves Dune. Loves the Dune.
37:15 Dax Shepard? I do too.
37:16 Speaker 02 So do I.
37:16 Dax Shepard? Really good.
37:17 Speaker 02 Movies are so good.
37:18 Dax Shepard? He's one of these classic guys where it's like, I am predisposed to hate his guts because he's the opposite of me. He's super cute.
37:26 Speaker 02 Speaks French.
37:27 Dax Shepard? Every girl loves him. I'm already mad at him.
37:29 Speaker 02 He's too good.
37:30 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
37:31 Speaker 02 Did you guys see Marty Supreme?
37:32 Speaker 01 Yes.
37:33 Dax Shepard? He's unreal.
37:34 Speaker 02 He's so good. I'm gonna just throw shade. I don't care.
37:36 Dax Shepard? I've really enjoyed the movie.
37:38 Speaker 02 Yeah.
37:39 Dax Shepard? He's so good.
37:40 Speaker 02 What the fuck is the guy from Shark Tank doing in there? He's the worst actor I've ever seen in my life.
37:46 Speaker 01 Wait, who?
37:47 Speaker 02 The fucking guy.
37:48 Speaker 01 Who is he?
37:48 Speaker 02 Mr. Wonderful.
37:49 Dax Shepard? Bald guy.
37:50 Speaker 02 He's Gwyneth's husband.
37:52 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:53 Speaker 02 And he's up there with Timmy, who's acting his ass off. And that guy's like, his eyes are dark around.
37:58 Dax Shepard? He's also decided to recently go to war with Phineas's sister, Billie Eilish. I think that guy has decided.
38:05 Speaker 01 Good person.
38:05 Speaker 02 That sounds like a good, uh, it sounds like a good idea for a 97 year old man to attack a 20 year old. But I was just like, I know it's cool. We put non actors in movies. And Marty Supreme, the guy who played his uncle is a journalist named Larry Slowman, who was amazing.
38:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:20 Speaker 02 Mr. Wonderful did not do it. His eyes move around too much. He doesn't have the smoke.
38:25 Dax Shepard? He doesn't have the smoke.
38:27 Speaker 02 I said it, let's go. I'm gonna start.
38:29 Dax Shepard? You sound so dialed in. The last time you were here, you educated us on gooning, which we knew nothing about.
38:33 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, that was helpful.
38:35 Speaker 02 We're getting deep into the goon community. We call it the GC.
38:37 Dax Shepard? The GC. Have you been asked to host any of these award shows?
38:41 Speaker 02 I am hosting the AVNs this year, the Adult Video Awards.
38:45 Dax Shepard? Oh, great, in Vegas.
38:46 Speaker 02 I'm going to Vegas.
38:47 Dax Shepard? Okay.
38:48 Speaker 02 For a couple of weeks.
38:49 Dax Shepard? They pay pretty well, right? You're getting 12 grand?
38:51 Speaker 02 That's like, I have to fly myself out there.
38:53 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:54 Speaker 02 I'm paying for food, local hire. I said I'd be a local hire.
38:56 Dax Shepard? Yeah, of course. It's so close, why not?
38:58 Speaker 02 I'll just drive there. It's fine. Actually, what I'll do, they'll give me a hundred dollar stipend for a flight and I'll drive and use the money.
39:03 Dax Shepard? Okay, for your hotel.
39:04 Speaker 02 No, they haven't.
39:05 Dax Shepard? Would you?
39:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, I think so.
39:08 Speaker 01 I mean, it depends.
39:09 Speaker 02 You instantly think of the worst.
39:11 Speaker 01 I know.
39:11 Speaker 02 Ones, but then you think of Nikki Glaser.
39:14 Speaker 01 She killed it.
39:15 Speaker 02 So fucking funny. Conan, he's so good. So it's like, there's people who are good doing it recently that you know you could be good.
39:25 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
39:25 Speaker 02 But then you just think of some of the rough ones.
39:27 Dax Shepard? Oh, I had this thought about you today when I was rewatching a lot of stuff. You're kind of fearless in that you'll take on a lot of stuff. You pivoted in the same way I did. Acting wasn't working, started writing, writing starts working really well. Now you're acting again, back and forth. And we're gonna talk about your podcast, you're doing that. Do you ever feel appalled when you watch Chappelle? And he tells a story that is woven together with so much great history that we're not aware of for the most part. He's always exposing some rad part of history that we've missed. And then he lands this plane and you're like, God, that was so fucking moving. Not that I think I'm Chappelle. I feel like I have the capacity to try to attempt to do a stand up thing that has some kind of.
40:09 Dax Shepard? Substantive lasting message. Do you get that tug?
40:13 Speaker 02 Oh my God. I made a very conscious decision years ago because people ask me like come and do stand up and I'm probably a lot richer. If I had 10, 15, 20 years ago, the reason I didn't, it really does come down to laziness. Because if you do stand up, at least at first, you've got to do it a lot. Yeah. You gotta do it a lot.
40:32 Dax Shepard? That's the most consistent thing all comics say is like 10 years in, you figure it out.
40:36 Speaker 02 Yeah. And I was just like, that's such a big amount of time. I also didn't want to put myself in a position where I had that avenue and I could call an agent and be like, see if you can book me a tempeh for like six shows in three nights because I'm broke or I need money. And then I'm on the road. It was really the notion of being on the road. And this is even before I had kids. I'm a homebody. It's a hard life. It's a hard life. I was just like, I would rather try to make it work here. But when you see a great piece of stand, because there's a lot of shit stand up.
41:08 Dax Shepard? Sure, sure, sure.
41:09 Speaker 02 There's so much. Created so many stand ups. They glutted the market. Now there's guys that are just like, they don't even do jokes. I don't even know what the fuck they do. But when you see someone who is giving something that's like you said, substantial and last.
41:21 Dax Shepard? Thoughtful.
41:22 Speaker 02 That is so fucking cool to walk out on stage by yourself, big crowd. And you're doing not just like dumb jokes and fucking crowd work, but profoundly funny and deep thoughts. Yeah. People are cheering. You're like, you know what I would want to do one day? I did like a little thing on Broadway in December, like a short little stand for the show All Out. It was so much fun. I'd never done Broadway before. And I really loved it. And I've always wanted to do one of the greatest, I guess I'll call it a stand up special, but it's more like a one man show is Eddie Izzard. Did a show called Dressed to Kill. This is probably in like 2000. And you can watch it probably on YouTube and Eddie gets up there and it's like 90 minutes.
42:04 Speaker 02 Most of it is just like history. It's just talking about why British people are the way they are and Americans and the reformation and takes you just kind of on a tour of Western civilization.
42:19 Speaker 02 From 1500 on, and it's so deeply funny and so smart. And to do something like that one day would be like something down the road. I remember Chelsea Peretti, who's one of the funniest standups around, posting a photo years ago of her on her couch, feet wrapped in a blanket, watching some dumb show. Could not look more comfortable. And she's like, I have to be on stage at the improv in 12 minutes.
42:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, no.
42:53 Speaker 02 Yeah. So one day, not today.
42:55 Dax Shepard? This is neither here nor there. What was Christmas this year? Because you had a great story of getting not recognized, recognized at a bar, but you had 20 family members with you. And I just wanted to know if that repeats. What was last Christmas?
43:06 Speaker 02 It did not repeat itself. Christmas was more low key, but I was doing this show on Broadway right around Christmas. So I was in New York around the, which you make that face, Monica.
43:14 Speaker 01 Cozy face, a little hot chocolate?
43:17 Speaker 02 But the reality of it is, when you're working and almost like living in Times Square.
43:22 Speaker 01 Oh.
43:24 Speaker 02 It's disgusting. Christmas, you can't move, bro. You can't move. And not even like Times Square. I'm talking like 58th and 8th, 60th and 8th. You're like, why are there 7,000 people at this walk sign? And then when you're going through Times Square, it's crazier on Christmas. It's just like guys dressed as the Grinch, chain smoking and like yelling at someone on like an earpiece. And we had to do a show the night of SantaCon. You know what SantaCon is?
43:52 Dax Shepard? No, what's SantaCon? SantaCon or SantaCon?
43:54 Speaker 02 SantaCon.
43:55 Dax Shepard? Okay.
43:56 Speaker 02 It's one of the most depraved.
43:59 Dax Shepard? I can't believe there's not a documentary about it, just hearing the name.
44:02 Speaker 02 There might be, and they might've been like, we can't air this. These people are too sick. This is like a week before Christmas on a Friday night or a Saturday night. All these people dress as Santa and they just wreak havoc around New York. They go on a big bar crawl. They get blind drunk. My friend Abby Jacobson was doing the show with me and she took the train in from Brooklyn. And she said she got off at our stop and she's walking up the stairs and there are four guys dressed as Santa, all four of them. Are pissing against the wall.
44:30 Speaker 01 Oh.
44:30 Speaker 02 And Abby takes your earbuds out and she goes, you're fucking disgusting.
44:36 Speaker 02 But it is a gross, you just see like girls dressed as Santa falling down like face down in the gutter.
44:43 Speaker 01 Hell.
44:43 Speaker 02 Like guys walking into pizzerias who like vomit all over their fucking Santa.
44:48 Dax Shepard? Everyone's living now Billy Bob Thornton's bad Santa.
44:50 Speaker 02 How good is bad Santa?
44:51 Dax Shepard? Oh, it's the greatest.
44:53 Speaker 02 I'm a fucking lunch break. And that kid's like, do you want me to make you a sandwich? What are you doing to fucking sandwiches, man? What are you doing to fucking sandwiches, kid? I'm not your fucking dad dad.
45:04 Dax Shepard? Oh, it's incredible.
45:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like that bad Santa, do you?
45:10 Dax Shepard? Another quick question, back to studio. You and Seth combined seem to have about the deepest kind of Hollywood knowledge of people I know. When we were at, it was probably the Emmys and Dan Gilroy won for Andor. And I was really confused because I thought, and this is where my knowledge extends. Tony Gilroy was the creator of Andor.
45:31 Speaker 02 Bro.
45:31 Dax Shepard? I didn't know that. And I like looked over and Seth happened to be looking at me at the perfect moment. And I said, does he have a brother? And Seth goes, there's three of them. And I'm like, of course he knows that.
45:43 Speaker 02 All I remember at that Emmys was sitting there. Seth is in the front row and Erica, my wife and I are right behind him. And I couldn't have been hungrier.
45:51 Speaker 01 Oh.
45:52 Speaker 02 So hungry. And Dax and Kay Bell are sitting right across the aisle from us. And I turn and I look and he's eating a fucking hot dog.
46:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
46:01 Dax Shepard? I have the full spread.
46:02 Speaker 02 And I was like, how is he have access to a hot dog?
46:07 Dax Shepard? Oh, I went out in gen pop into the lobby and stood in a long line and got any snack they had left. I went late and they were mostly all gone. I was really in the market for some popcorn that was gone. So I just want anything they had left.
46:19 Speaker 02 And the hot dog is. That was crazy. Erica's like, where did he get that? I'm like, I don't know. And I just lost as fucking.
46:26 Speaker 01 I hate it here.
46:26 Dax Shepard? I fucking podcasters.
46:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. But Seth knows a lot of it. I know a lot.
46:32 Dax Shepard? Yeah. So when you guys are geeking out and getting esoteric on set, who goes deeper?
46:37 Speaker 02 I would say.
46:39 Dax Shepard? Trying to be.
46:40 Speaker 02 I probably, if we were to play like the movie game.
46:43 Dax Shepard? Yes.
46:43 Speaker 02 Do you know how to play the movie game? Name any movie.
46:45 Dax Shepard? Uh, Breaking Away.
46:46 Speaker 02 Breaking Away. And I would say Dennis Quaid. And then you would have to say a movie that Dennis Quaid was in.
46:51 Speaker 01 Right. Parent Trap.
46:52 Speaker 02 Parent Trap.
46:53 Dax Shepard? And I say what?
46:54 Speaker 02 Someone else who was in Parent Trap.
46:56 Speaker 01 Lindsay.
46:56 Dax Shepard? And I can't see Dennis Quaid.
46:58 Speaker 02 Let's say you couldn't get one, you would get a letter and it's like horse. Oh, great. If we were to play the movie game, I would probably beat him. Okay. But it'd be a long game. He knows more, I think, about like the technical shit of like, no, the lens has to be exactly that. You know what I mean? Like, no, that was shot on a Panasonic. He knows, I think, the filmmaking stuff more. I probably know the trivia more.
47:18 Speaker 01 Jeopardy. I mean, you're a champ.
47:20 Speaker 02 Sorry, what'd you say?
47:21 Dax Shepard? In champion.
47:22 Speaker 01 Excuse me?
47:23 Dax Shepard? Oh, my God, you brought your Jeopardy mug. That's great.
47:25 Speaker 02 So weird that I grabbed that one.
47:26 Dax Shepard? Okay, and now, last topic before your new podcast.
47:29 Speaker 02 You said nude podcast, right?
47:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:32 Dax Shepard? Yes, nude, nude.
47:32 Speaker 02 We'll talk about it.
47:34 Dax Shepard? You're in a movie called Artificial.
47:36 Speaker 02 Yes.
47:37 Dax Shepard? And you're playing Elon Musk.
47:38 Speaker 01 Big deal, Ike.
47:39 Speaker 02 Well, I hope so. I haven't seen it. I'm nervous, but he's such a great director, that guy.
47:43 Dax Shepard? Luca.
47:44 Speaker 02 Luca Guadagnino.
47:45 Speaker 01 Yes.
47:45 Dax Shepard? Hit me with the last name again.
47:46 Speaker 02 Guadagnino.
47:47 Speaker 01 We're talking Challengers.
47:49 Speaker 02 I know.
47:49 Speaker 01 I mean.
47:50 Speaker 02 The movie's a lot like Challengers, and I'm like Zendaya.
47:53 Dax Shepard? Oh, my God, you lucky girl.
47:55 Speaker 02 My fucking dream.
47:56 Speaker 01 Who's the Josh O'Connor?
47:57 Speaker 02 That would be Andrew Garfield, and then the other one is Yurba Borisov. It's not like Challengers at all.
48:04 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, I'm so excited.
48:05 Dax Shepard? But it's a story of OpenAI and Sam Altman.
48:08 Speaker 02 It's the OpenAI story. They tell it in a way only Luca can.
48:12 Dax Shepard? Yeah, so walk me through how you end up in that movie, what your fear level is, all that stuff.
48:18 Speaker 02 I got a call, but they're like, hey, they're making this movie and would like to talk to you about Elon. And at first I was like, I'm not interested. I don't want anything to do with that fucking guy. But then they were like, it's Luca Guadagnino, and I'm a huge fan. I've been a fan for a very long time. I don't know if you've ever seen it. What's the fucking movie with Tilda Swinton and Ralph Fiennes and Dakota Johnson? I love that movie. I loved I Am Love, which I think was one of his first movies. He's just like a beautiful storyteller, real master. So I was like, let me talk to Luca and we'll see. And I talked to him and he's so charming.
48:53 Dax Shepard? But let's back up. Before he woo's you, is your reservation, there's people you don't want to play? Or you're afraid you don't have the talent for it?
49:00 Speaker 02 I wanted to spend my whole fucking life. I wanted to die. And never have Elon Musk know my name. That was one of my goals in life.
49:06 Dax Shepard? Oh, okay.
49:07 Speaker 02 So I would have to forsake that, but then I met with him.
49:10 Dax Shepard? So it's just your detest for?
49:12 Speaker 02 I just think they're dangerous guys. You will live a probably more blessed life if you're not on their radar.
49:16 Speaker 01 Nothing to do with that.
49:17 Speaker 02 That's just how I feel. But I met with him and I told him my reservation and he was like, well, it's not about you. It's about you finding what makes him think he is human, which I think is a very smart way. It's not about whether or not you think he is, it's about whether or not he thinks he is.
49:34 Speaker 01 Exactly.
49:34 Speaker 02 Very smart.
49:35 Dax Shepard? Well, it's a very age old, you can't be judgmental of a character you're playing.
49:38 Speaker 02 You can't be.
49:39 Dax Shepard? Or you can be and it'll be a pretty cartoonish.
49:41 Speaker 02 Well, then it would just be like Mad TV where I'd be like, oh God, I was like so woke, like, what are we doing? But this is like a real movie and it takes place, not necessarily in this moment where everyone is at their max levels. It's encasing many, many years and all kinds of things. And it was a great script and just great actors. Do you know, have you seen Onora? You guys saw Onora?
50:00 Speaker 01 Yes.
50:00 Speaker 02 Is that guy, you know, like the bald guy? Yeah, he's incredible. He's like the main guy in it. He is like a monster. Fuck, it's such a great actor.
50:08 Speaker 01 Oh my God.
50:08 Speaker 02 Sweetest, most unassuming guy, but when you're acting, you got those big Russian eyes in your face. You're like, okay, all right, what are we doing?
50:17 Dax Shepard? How do you start trying to be him?
50:20 Speaker 02 Watch.
50:21 Dax Shepard? Watching YouTube?
50:21 Speaker 01 Did you read the Walter Isaacson book?
50:23 Speaker 02 I read some of it. The book doesn't help as much as watching. It's just like injecting poison into my brain and watching everything I could find and especially from that period. So it was just a lot of watching stuff.
50:37 Dax Shepard? Do you start though, doing the accent for your wife first?
50:42 Speaker 02 Well, it's such a sexy accent. It's so hot. Maybe a little bit here and there. Well, the good news is we had a whole week of rehearsal.
50:50 Dax Shepard? Oh, okay.
50:51 Speaker 02 Which you don't get a lot anymore. And we went to Italy and he had us at his incredible villa. Like an hour and a half outside of Turin where he cooks for you.
51:01 Dax Shepard? Oh my God.
51:02 Speaker 02 It's so crazy. And we got to really work on it. But then they were all nice. Andrew Garfield, love the guy and Monica and it was great. Is Cooper Hoffman.
51:11 Dax Shepard? You got two Coopers in that film.
51:13 Speaker 02 Two Coopers.
51:14 Dax Shepard? Yeah, you got two Coopers in that.
51:15 Speaker 02 Who the other Cooper?
51:16 Dax Shepard? I'd have to look it up, but this morning when I was looking at the cast list, I was like,
51:19 Speaker 02 Oh, Cooper Koch. Oh, duh. Yeah.
51:20 Dax Shepard? Yeah, duh.
51:21 Speaker 02 Duh, fucking.
51:22 Dax Shepard? Dang.
51:22 Speaker 02 They got fucking Cooper Koch.
51:23 Dax Shepard? They got Cooper coming out of the car.
51:25 Speaker 02 And we got Cooper Koch from the fucking Ryan Murphy show, pafago. He played one of the fucking brothers who killed his parents and kissed his brother.
51:33 Dax Shepard? Hey, are you gonna forget fucking Cooper?
51:36 Speaker 02 The New York guy who loves Ryan Murphy. Have you seen the new fucking show with Ashton Kutcher?
51:40 Dax Shepard? You've seen Beauty?
51:40 Speaker 02 Beauty.
51:41 Dax Shepard? Fuck me.
51:42 Speaker 02 Fuck, you know, his great actors are fucking Evan Peters. That guy, that guy is fucking great.
51:47 Dax Shepard? The fucking effects on that show?
51:49 Speaker 02 You know, Ryan Murphy, I don't know how this fucking guy sleeps. He's got fucking Beauty. He's got the fucking JFK show. When does he fucking sleep?
52:01 Speaker 02 And he's also, he's very attentive to his husband and his fucking kids.
52:07 Dax Shepard? He's all in. So, great actors. It was fun. Was it fun?
52:11 Speaker 02 So fun. Shot in Italy. What part of Italy were you in? We were up north in Torino.
52:15 Dax Shepard? Is that where the Olympics were just at?
52:17 Speaker 02 Milan, yeah. They were like around that in Milan, Cortona, fucking Bologna.
52:21 Dax Shepard? Ah, yeah. Home of the Bugatti factory.
52:23 Speaker 02 Yo, Bologna is, in my opinion, best food in Italy, Bologna. Cause it's the whole Emilio Campania region. That's Parmigiano, that's beef, that's Barolo, that's the shit. Some nice vitello carpaccio.
52:37 Dax Shepard? Pounding. Were you putting?
52:39 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, cause I had to work and play Elon, that body. So, I was like pounding pasta on the grony thing.
52:48 Speaker 02 It was great, man. I loved it.
52:50 Speaker 01 What are your go-to meals that you make since you're a cook? I just wanna know personally.
52:54 Speaker 02 The thing I make best are chicken cutlets.
52:55 Speaker 01 Chicken cutlet mashed potato.
52:57 Speaker 02 I make a chicken cutlet that rivals any schnitzel, any South Jersey Italian deli.
53:03 Dax Shepard? It would kill you to invite me over for that, or?
53:05 Speaker 02 No, no.
53:06 Dax Shepard? Okay. I mean, just like, whenever you're having it, you just text me, you wanna try this, and I cruise over.
53:11 Speaker 02 It wouldn't just be you, it'd be Kristen.
53:13 Dax Shepard? I'd prefer it was just me. I would like a break.
53:15 Speaker 02 My family would prefer it.
53:18 Dax Shepard? It would be best for my family if your whole family came.
53:21 Speaker 02 It'd be strange if you came. But that's something that I really love. I'm obsessed with potatoes. I really like went crazy. I think, starting during COVID, I was like, I'm going to become a potato master.
53:32 Speaker 01 Really?
53:33 Dax Shepard? It's a great, great. Foundation for everything, right? Every shape they come in is great.
53:38 Speaker 02 You know what I love? You gotta get big rusted potatoes. Those are the best now. And you cut them into like thick fries, but then you roast them in a ton of olive oil and a little bit of like beef fat.
53:47 Speaker 01 Oh.
53:48 Speaker 02 Those things are like, yeah, I'm gonna make that tomorrow night.
53:52 Dax Shepard? Okay, okay. Again, you have my number. I'll swing by.
53:55 Speaker 02 Swing by.
53:56 Dax Shepard? It's a short. I bring my family.
53:57 Speaker 02 Bring the family.
53:58 Dax Shepard? We'll see.
53:58 Speaker 02 Let's just let you. I'm setting the table. I'm setting it for nine. I also love going on Instagram and just seeing what home cooks are doing now. There's this guy named like Giovanni Syracuse. I'm all about now like, what can I do for exactly 45 minutes? From like my first chop to my plate down. And he does a lot of very family friendly.
54:21 Dax Shepard? Fast.
54:21 Speaker 02 Fast, but yummy, healthy. I try to cook as healthy as I can at home.
54:26 Speaker 01 That beef tallow.
54:27 Speaker 02 The beef tallow is, you know, I only put a little bit in. Man, every fucking dumbass thing now. People are like, seed oils. See, oh, you took a seed oil, you're fucking dead instantly. Beef tallow.
54:38 Speaker 01 Oh.
54:38 Speaker 02 Beef tallow. And it's like, listen.
54:39 Dax Shepard? It's become political.
54:40 Speaker 02 It's become political. And I like beef tallow. Like when I'm making steak and potatoes, I use a little beef tallow. I just saw an ad where they're like, now our chicken tenders, fried in beef tallow. I'm like, no.
54:51 Speaker 01 I know.
54:52 Speaker 02 Fucking, fucking, I don't want my chicken to taste like beef.
54:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
54:55 Speaker 02 Just fucking use peanut oil. I don't get it. It's like a political thing now. It's just dopey. I don't get it. I don't get it.
55:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:00 Speaker 02 What if I took off my hat and I was completely bald?
55:03 Dax Shepard? Because you're not having any beef tallow. Still on PRP up there?
55:07 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
55:08 Dax Shepard? Still doing that?
55:08 Speaker 02 Not too long ago.
55:09 Dax Shepard? Okay.
55:10 Speaker 02 I saw my boys.
55:11 Dax Shepard? You got on the gas.
55:12 Speaker 02 Got on the gas, little zing zing, zing zing.
55:14 Speaker 01 Right.
55:15 Dax Shepard? I should try that. I'm doing a topical in the morning and at night, and my hair is so greasy and gross.
55:21 Speaker 02 It's so gross. Do you have like the fucking yellow patch on your bed? Cause I put the drops in at night. And then one day my wife was like looking at our bed. She goes, oh.
55:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:30 Speaker 02 And it's just like, like a discoloration exactly where I play Wordle, where my head. And it's like so clearly my shit.
55:37 Dax Shepard? Your finasteride.
55:38 Speaker 02 It's like in Coming to America, the Soul Glow. When they all stand up and they have.
55:42 Dax Shepard? Let your soul glow.
55:45 Speaker 02 I still get my work done a little bit on that.
55:47 Dax Shepard? Okay, now we're here to talk about Funny You Ask.
55:50 Speaker 02 Funny You Ask. Do you guys know what a podcast is? Have you ever heard of this?
55:54 Dax Shepard? We are familiar with the format.
55:56 Speaker 02 I thought it was a good time to get in.
55:57 Dax Shepard? Yes, it is an ideal time.
55:59 Speaker 01 Many years after we asked you to get in, by the way.
56:02 Speaker 02 You came to my house and we're like, you need to do this. I just didn't have the thing. I didn't know what it.
56:08 Speaker 01 No one will force it.
56:09 Dax Shepard? I have no resentment. I have no bitterness whatsoever. Nothing but rooting for you.
56:13 Speaker 01 If you win the Golden Globe, we will be upset.
56:16 Dax Shepard? He will.
56:16 Speaker 02 That will be, yeah.
56:17 Speaker 01 That's gonna be tough.
56:18 Dax Shepard? How did the idea hit you this time? You're in the shower.
56:21 Speaker 02 I'm in the shower. I'm cleaning my butt.
56:24 Speaker 01 Getting that finger up there.
56:25 Speaker 02 I have a mirror at the ceiling of my bath. I lay on my back and kind of hoist my legs up so I can watch myself cleaning.
56:33 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah.
56:33 Speaker 02 Takes about a half hour.
56:34 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
56:35 Speaker 02 And then the next day I thought of the idea.
56:39 Speaker 02 No, I was talking to this guy. We had a mutual friend and we were just kind of chatting over lunch. And I, as you know, I love trivia. I love My Jeopardy, My Millionaire, I love all that stuff. And I was just like, I love when I find out someone knows something about something. Like when you find out someone is randomly like, oh yeah, no, I'm a fan of that. And I can kind of answer questions about it. I was like, oh, what if I could just talk to my funny friends? Ask them questions and then riff, enter the riff zone.
57:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
57:07 Speaker 02 And so we kind of just did it.
57:09 Dax Shepard? I have so much intellectual vanity that it immediately gave me anxiety. Cause you invited me on and not only did I say yes, I've even reached out to you, like, when are we recording? That's not typical of a guest.
57:20 Speaker 02 No, no.
57:21 Dax Shepard? I'm pursuing your show.
57:22 Speaker 02 You are, which I really appreciate. I want to tell everyone, to assuage you, no one is gonna walk out where they're like, I didn't get anything right. I'm a moron. I have to commit seppuku. I need a second to administer the death blow. That is not gonna happen. I write my guest questions myself and I make sure that I'm not going to like make anyone feel dumb.
57:45 Dax Shepard? But here's where I'm talking about the intellectual vanity and anxiety struck me is you're gonna cement it logically in whatever my presumed expertise is, right? Like minimally, probably what I majored in in college. But. If we make it about Anthro and I fuck it up, this is something else. But if you ask me about biology or neuroscience and I shock you because that's not supposed to be. Do you know what I'm saying here? I shine better when I like, oh, I wouldn't have thought he knew anything about that. But now we're talking about the thing I'm supposed to know something about. That's where it gets tricky for me.
58:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
58:18 Dax Shepard? When my fear.
58:19 Speaker 02 Again, my goal of it is to like, make it to the first round of questions. You should know them.
58:26 Dax Shepard? They're softballs.
58:26 Speaker 02 I don't want to say softballs, but if you know something about it, you'll probably know it.
58:29 Dax Shepard? Hardball, about 40 mile an hour pitch.
58:31 Speaker 02 A an EpiS pitch. Just it's very high, can be difficult to hit. But then as it gets on, especially as we get to the later speed rounds and stuff. There'll be some ones in there that it's gonna stretch your brain a little bit.
58:40 Dax Shepard? Oh my.
58:41 Speaker 01 So there are gonna be points? Is it like a score?
58:44 Speaker 02 The scoring system, it's completely arbitrary and I make it up every time.
58:48 Speaker 01 Oh, funny.
58:48 Speaker 02 And I'll give you a bonus point if you answer the question in a funny way. So there's no scoring, there's no winning, there's no losing.
58:54 Dax Shepard? But you will rank the guests at the end of the year, who is the smartest?
58:57 Speaker 02 That's the call sheet betting market. I have nothing to do with that.
59:00 Dax Shepard? Okay.
59:00 Speaker 02 That is a joke, by the way. I'm not affiliated with call sheets. I'm affiliated with Kashi.
59:06 Dax Shepard? Kashi.
59:07 Speaker 02 The granola, the muesli. Not the other one.
59:11 Dax Shepard? So you've done, you've had?
59:12 Speaker 02 Who have I had? I've had Kimmel, I've had Kate Hudson, I've had Tiffany Haddish, Dave Franco and Mindy Kaling.
59:19 Speaker 01 Oh.
59:19 Dax Shepard? Okay, so what was Mindy's category? Was it television?
59:23 Speaker 02 Mindy's categories were fashion.
59:25 Dax Shepard? Fashion, great.
59:27 Speaker 01 Love it.
59:27 Speaker 02 80s Boston Celtics.
59:29 Speaker 01 Oh.
59:30 Speaker 02 And Indian food.
59:31 Dax Shepard? Yeah, because her father was a huge Celtics fan, right?
59:34 Speaker 02 She like grew up going to Celtics games and Indian food, which I'm a big Indian food guy. So I had a lot of fun writing those. The most fun for me is writing the questions. I'm living my fantasy of being a Jeopardy writer. The guests ask me questions, but 0% do I see those. Those are written by my producer, Annabelle.
59:49 Dax Shepard? Okay.
59:50 Speaker 02 She keeps them separate from everyone, so I am 100% surprised.
59:54 Dax Shepard? Fully compartmentalized.
59:55 Speaker 02 Yes, honor system.
59:56 Dax Shepard? I bet you're experiencing the same joy I have, which is our Wednesday guests are always experts on some generally academic topic that I have to brush up on in anticipation of their arrival. And so I love that part.
1:00:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, especially if I have a guest who has interests like Dave Franco. One of his was movies from the year 1999. Which nineteen ninety nine is a lot of people think was like the best year of movies.
1:00:23 Dax Shepard? Really? What do we have? We're making a point lately that the Academy Awards is less and less relevant because there's fifty movies. Only one of them would have made the top ten in ninety nine, if that, there we go.
1:00:33 Speaker 02 Here we go. You're getting glasses. I'll read you a quick little list. Here we go.
1:00:36 Dax Shepard? Cute glasses, too.
1:00:38 Speaker 02 Thank you. All right, you ready for this? Magnolia, Eyes Wide Shut, The Matrix, The Sixth Sense, Office Space, Bing, John Malkovich,
1:00:49 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
1:00:49 Speaker 02 The Green Mile, Fight Club.
1:00:51 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:00:52 Speaker 02 Uh, uh, uh, hold on, I'm trying to think of some other ones. Uh, American Beauty was on there.
1:00:57 Dax Shepard? Oh.
1:00:58 Speaker 02 Uh, I'm trying to think what else. It's crazy.
1:01:02 Dax Shepard? This is my point. There are more movies that are gonna stand the test of time in that list than there have been in the last eight years.
1:01:08 Speaker 02 This is awesome.
1:01:09 Dax Shepard? It's just a volume thing. It's a volume thing. I'm not critical of any single person, but it's a total volume game.
1:01:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, totally. But anyways, for that one, I was so excited because I got to fucking just watch.
1:01:20 Dax Shepard? And is Franco, is that like, what age was he at? Why is that the year for him?
1:01:24 Speaker 02 He was just a young guy and he worked in a video store in like the Bay Area.
1:01:29 Dax Shepard? He knows them all.
1:01:29 Speaker 02 All his friends were like watching American Pie and he's like, you need to see Bing John Malkovich.
1:01:33 Speaker 01 Yeah. Oh, I feel like I have no expertise.
1:01:37 Speaker 02 No, you could do cheerleading, you could do the Olympics, you could do fashion.
1:01:41 Speaker 01 Six Olympics gymnastics only.
1:01:43 Speaker 02 That is Atlanta.
1:01:45 Speaker 01 That's Atlanta, that's right.
1:01:46 Dax Shepard? She was in Atlanta at the time.
1:01:48 Speaker 01 Well, I was actually in Tennessee at the time.
1:01:50 Speaker 02 Did you see Richard Jewell while you were there? Do you know who Richard Jewell is?
1:01:53 Speaker 01 No.
1:01:54 Speaker 02 Richard Jewell, you know who Richard Jewell is? Well, the man who was accused of being the bomber, who was not the bomber.
1:02:01 Speaker 01 Centennial Park.
1:02:02 Speaker 02 They actually made a movie about it a few years ago that Clint directed.
1:02:05 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:02:05 Speaker 02 That is low key pretty great.
1:02:07 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:02:08 Speaker 02 You know Paul Walter Hauser?
1:02:09 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:02:10 Speaker 02 He plays Richard Jewell.
1:02:11 Dax Shepard? Hmm.
1:02:12 Speaker 02 He's so good in it, dude. He's great in everything. And his lawyer is Rockwell.
1:02:17 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:02:18 Speaker 02 I mean, there's always gonna be some weird shit and you switch stuff.
1:02:20 Dax Shepard? Movie, yeah.
1:02:21 Speaker 02 But his performance, the feds done him dirty, man. He was just a nerdy guy and they were like.
1:02:29 Speaker 02 Sketchy guy.
1:02:31 Dax Shepard? Looks like he'd be a bomber.
1:02:33 Speaker 02 Looks like he might be a bomber. Ham is the FBI agent. He's like, this guy might be a bomber.
1:02:38 Dax Shepard? Based on the fact that he's, it looks like a dude in high school I didn't trust.
1:02:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly. He looks like a guy I bullied in high school.
1:02:45 Dax Shepard? I used to push a lot.
1:02:46 Speaker 02 Fun movie.
1:02:47 Dax Shepard? What was Kimmel's expertise?
1:02:49 Speaker 02 Kimmel was pizza pie.
1:02:51 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
1:02:54 Speaker 02 Eighties music.
1:02:55 Dax Shepard? Did you hit him with any Huey Lewis trivia?
1:02:57 Speaker 02 I know he's such a Huey fan that I withheld.
1:02:59 Dax Shepard? He might be the number one Huey Lewis fan.
1:03:01 Speaker 02 Biggest Huey fan. There's not a Huey question you could ask him.
1:03:04 Dax Shepard? He would outdo Huey in a.
1:03:06 Speaker 02 Hundred percent.
1:03:06 Dax Shepard? Thousand percent. Did you see how I just accidentally came over and said, you go a hundred percent, go a thousand percent. This guy, I'm just impulsively. It's like my instinct.
1:03:14 Speaker 02 What you said times 10.
1:03:16 Dax Shepard? To the 10th, whatever, to the 10th.
1:03:17 Speaker 02 He loves Marvel Comics. He was like a big Marvel Comics nerd.
1:03:21 Dax Shepard? Kate, I must know.
1:03:22 Speaker 02 Kate was female singer songwriters.
1:03:25 Dax Shepard? Well, that's very on brand.
1:03:27 Speaker 02 Very on brand. Cocktails.
1:03:29 Speaker 01 Oh, nice.
1:03:30 Speaker 02 She loves a good cocktail. And then her other one was, oh, well, she was nineties movies, but kind of more the whole decade.
1:03:37 Dax Shepard? I threw in a couple Kurt Russell questions for her. Did she get them?
1:03:40 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
1:03:41 Speaker 01 Cute. And what are yours gonna be?
1:03:43 Dax Shepard? Can you remember what I told you?
1:03:44 Speaker 02 I'm presuming.
1:03:45 Dax Shepard? Anthropology. Yeah, yeah.
1:03:46 Speaker 02 One was motorcycles. And then the third one, I think.
1:03:49 Dax Shepard? I would prefer cars over motorcycles.
1:03:51 Speaker 02 I think it was cars slash motorcycles.
1:03:53 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:03:53 Speaker 02 Anthropologies or evolution.
1:03:56 Dax Shepard? Tractors.
1:03:57 Speaker 02 It's not gonna be tractors.
1:03:57 Dax Shepard? It's not.
1:03:59 Speaker 02 I don't want to fucking read about tractors for an hour.
1:04:01 Dax Shepard? Well, Lamborghini made tractors. I have a boner for some of these sixties Lamborghini tractors. They started as a tractor company.
1:04:08 Speaker 02 They did?
1:04:08 Dax Shepard? Yes, but the Lambo style is in a tractor. It's so cool. And there's train track ones.
1:04:13 Speaker 02 The good thing about it is you love that carmaker, but you have all those crops out there that have not been cut.
1:04:18 Dax Shepard? Exactly.
1:04:19 Speaker 02 So two birds, one stone.
1:04:21 Dax Shepard? Yes, yes.
1:04:22 Speaker 02 One expensive stone that you have to transfer here from another country.
1:04:25 Dax Shepard? I think the story, no, that might be Ducati.
1:04:29 Speaker 01 This is actually interesting. So you have to pick categories that also are gonna be interesting to an audience.
1:04:34 Speaker 02 A little bit, and that will also inspire.
1:04:36 Dax Shepard? Are you saying we lost people on the Lamborghini tractor?
1:04:38 Speaker 02 I mean, this is actually a pretty good riff, so we should save it, maybe.
1:04:41 Dax Shepard? The government did come to, I think Lamborghini was like, we need you to make vehicles.
1:04:46 Speaker 02 We need a tractor, but the sexy.
1:04:47 Dax Shepard? Yeah, in a kind of you can put a four wheels on, and that is an automobile.
1:04:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, but you still can smoke a cigarette on your job.
1:04:54 Speaker 01 I've turned it off. I've turned it off.
1:04:56 Speaker 02 You've turned it off. You're just like in another fucking place right now. You're thinking about someone doing a floor routine in 1996.
1:05:02 Speaker 01 That's right. Dominique Mochianu.
1:05:05 Speaker 02 That's right.
1:05:05 Dax Shepard? Sure, sure. And then it's obviously leading, it's a jump off.
1:05:09 Speaker 02 It's a jump off point, just so we can have fun. It's just fun to ask you. I brought questions. Is that a pack of cigarettes or?
1:05:15 Dax Shepard? It's a pack of Trivial Pursuit questions I brought.
1:05:17 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
1:05:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, okay. These are, I have not read these.
1:05:21 Speaker 01 I'm gonna be zero points.
1:05:23 Dax Shepard? Oh, we're gonna do it to each other.
1:05:25 Speaker 01 Oh, this is so fun.
1:05:26 Dax Shepard? Okay, so how do we play this game?
1:05:27 Speaker 02 Uh, just go around and we'll ask questions.
1:05:29 Dax Shepard? And you have to go in order, top to bottom?
1:05:31 Speaker 02 Sure.
1:05:31 Speaker 01 You're gonna ask us some questions.
1:05:33 Dax Shepard? Let's go top to bottom. So I don't want any like cherry picking.
1:05:35 Speaker 02 What nation's Pantanal wetland is home to 270 bird species?
1:05:42 Dax Shepard? Okay, I have a guess. Argentina.
1:05:44 Speaker 02 Close. Brazil.
1:05:46 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:05:47 Speaker 02 That's where we're gonna come to Brazil. All right, ask me one.
1:05:49 Dax Shepard? Okay. What worthy Texas city opened the National Cowgirl Museum and Hall of Fame in 2002?
1:05:56 Speaker 02 I would say Dallas or Fort Worth because of worthy.
1:06:00 Dax Shepard? I bet it's gonna be that. Let's see. Fort Worth.
1:06:02 Speaker 02 Fort Worth. All right.
1:06:03 Dax Shepard? We had a little clue in there.
1:06:04 Speaker 01 That was tough.
1:06:05 Speaker 02 Monica, ask us one.
1:06:05 Speaker 01 I don't wanna go top to bottom. I wanna find a.
1:06:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, find a good one.
1:06:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, we gotta find a good one.
1:06:10 Speaker 02 I don't trust you. Oh, AE is one of the.
1:06:12 Speaker 01 What do you mean you don't trust me?
1:06:13 Speaker 02 I don't.
1:06:14 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:06:15 Speaker 02 AE is one of the.
1:06:16 Speaker 01 Okay, fine. I'll do AE. Yes.
1:06:17 Speaker 02 That's arts and entertainment.
1:06:18 Speaker 01 Okay, great. You guys are gonna get this.
1:06:19 Dax Shepard? This is my weakest one.
1:06:20 Speaker 01 What director claimed blondes make the best victims because, quote, "They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprint."
1:06:28 Speaker 02 On the count of three.
1:06:28 Dax Shepard? Three, two, one. Hitchcock.
1:06:30 Speaker 01 Good job.
1:06:31 Speaker 02 Which future Charlie's Angel provided the singing voice of melody for TV's Josie and the Pussycats?
1:06:38 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:06:39 Speaker 02 This is one where it's like.
1:06:41 Dax Shepard? I'm out.
1:06:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, I mean.
1:06:42 Dax Shepard? I don't know the names of all the angels. Farrah Fawcett's one.
1:06:46 Speaker 02 She was one.
1:06:46 Dax Shepard? But she didn't sing.
1:06:47 Speaker 02 Jaclyn Smith was one.
1:06:49 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:06:49 Speaker 02 Kate Jackson. And the answer to this one, I believe, is Cheryl Ladd.
1:06:53 Speaker 01 Okay, never, never.
1:06:55 Speaker 02 I never like arts and entertainment. Go ahead, ask one.
1:06:57 Dax Shepard? Okay, next one. I'm gonna skip arts. No, I'll do arts and entertainment. I'm going in order, despite. What beloved actor did columnist David Anson eulogize in 2001 as the Paganini of Panic? Pagani?
1:07:13 Speaker 02 Paganini of Panic.
1:07:15 Dax Shepard? Paganini of Panic.
1:07:17 Speaker 02 Which beloved actor died in 2001?
1:07:20 Dax Shepard? Panic? Who was like an actor who was constantly panicked?
1:07:24 Speaker 01 Who died in 2001?
1:07:26 Dax Shepard? Yeah, who died in 2001?
1:07:28 Speaker 01 Um.
1:07:29 Dax Shepard? Who was like always scared?
1:07:30 Speaker 01 Was it Farrah Fawcett?
1:07:31 Dax Shepard? For some reason, I feel like it's a male actor.
1:07:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:07:35 Dax Shepard? It's a big male actor.
1:07:36 Speaker 01 Oh, it is?
1:07:37 Speaker 02 Marlon Brando.
1:07:38 Dax Shepard? Uh, Jack Lemmon.
1:07:39 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:07:40 Speaker 02 Jack Lemmon, that's right, I should have known that one. Jack Lemmon died in 2001. He did not see 2002.
1:07:49 Speaker 01 I'm gonna go, oh.
1:07:50 Dax Shepard? Let's do history or science or something, you know?
1:07:51 Speaker 01 Okay, what's SN?
1:07:53 Speaker 02 Science and nature.
1:07:54 Speaker 01 What button is disabled in almost all elevators, according to Global Elevator Technologies?
1:08:01 Speaker 02 I know some things don't have a 13th floor, but I don't think that's it. Button is disabled?
1:08:06 Speaker 01 In almost all elevators?
1:08:08 Speaker 02 I'm gonna say.
1:08:09 Dax Shepard? I know.
1:08:09 Speaker 02 Stop.
1:08:11 Dax Shepard? Okay, I'm gonna say the door open button.
1:08:13 Speaker 02 I think it's door close.
1:08:14 Speaker 01 Hey, good job, Rob!
1:08:16 Speaker 02 Was it door close?
1:08:17 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:08:17 Speaker 01 He got it!
1:08:18 Speaker 02 So when I see someone walking and I'm hitting the door close button, it does nothing?
1:08:20 Speaker 01 It doesn't work!
1:08:22 Speaker 02 Shit, I feel like it works for me too.
1:08:23 Dax Shepard? But also, I would have thought doors open, because if you're like mid-transit, you're dropping floors and you're trying to hit the door open. It must be disabled, so you can't open the doors while it's in motion.
1:08:32 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:08:32 Dax Shepard? Or ever, you shouldn't be able to prematurely have it open the doors. It should be in charge when the doors are open.
1:08:37 Speaker 02 I agree with that one.
1:08:41 Speaker 03 Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
1:08:53 Speaker 02 What Londoner ticked off her fellow designers in 2000 by narrating an anti fur video?
1:08:59 Speaker 01 Oh, I should maybe know this, an anti fur video.
1:09:03 Speaker 02 What Londoner?
1:09:04 Speaker 01 Her fellow designers.
1:09:05 Speaker 02 Fellow designers.
1:09:06 Speaker 01 Diane von Furstenberg?
1:09:08 Speaker 02 It's not.
1:09:09 Speaker 01 She's not a Londoner and it wouldn't be.
1:09:11 Speaker 02 I'll give you a hint, her father is not from London.
1:09:13 Dax Shepard? Okay, Donna Verdi, Cello, whatever her name is, Donna.
1:09:18 Speaker 02 She's Italian.
1:09:19 Speaker 01 Versace.
1:09:20 Speaker 02 The father sometimes talked like this.
1:09:22 Dax Shepard? Well, but I thought you just said her dad was.
1:09:25 Speaker 02 He's not from London.
1:09:26 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:09:27 Speaker 01 The dad is not from London, but she.
1:09:29 Speaker 02 He's from a different British city. Maybe Liverpool?
1:09:33 Dax Shepard? He's a Beatle.
1:09:35 Speaker 02 Oh, Stella McCartney.
1:09:36 Dax Shepard? There you go.
1:09:37 Speaker 01 Oh. Good job.
1:09:39 Speaker 02 I thought her dad wasn't from London, dude.
1:09:42 Dax Shepard? Her father once got up, got out of bed and ran a cold across his head. Okay. What American at Oxford was Britain's fifth most eligible woman in 2001, according to the Tattler magazine?
1:10:01 Speaker 02 So what American at Oxford in 2001?
1:10:05 Dax Shepard? Was Britain's fifth most eligible woman in 2001?
1:10:09 Speaker 02 Oh, I have an idea. Is it an actress?
1:10:12 Dax Shepard? I don't know, but the gal that was in the Pirates movies.
1:10:15 Speaker 02 Keira Knightley?
1:10:16 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:10:17 Speaker 02 Keira Knightley, but she's not American.
1:10:19 Speaker 01 Not American, yeah.
1:10:20 Dax Shepard? Oh, American, no, she's certainly not American. What famous actress went to college in, at Oxford?
1:10:25 Speaker 02 I'm gonna guess Natalie Portman.
1:10:27 Speaker 01 No, she didn't go to Oxford.
1:10:28 Dax Shepard? She went to Harvard.
1:10:29 Speaker 02 My name's fucking Natalie Portman.
1:10:31 Dax Shepard? I know, look at the, uh.
1:10:32 Speaker 02 Fucking snowed everywhere.
1:10:33 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:10:34 Speaker 01 Can you give a hint?
1:10:35 Dax Shepard? Yes.
1:10:36 Speaker 01 I don't think it's an actor.
1:10:37 Dax Shepard? Her father is from London.
1:10:40 Speaker 01 Stella McCartney.
1:10:42 Dax Shepard? The clue I would give would be just so telling. I'm gonna reread the question, okay?
1:10:45 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:10:46 Speaker 02 What American at Oxford was Britain's fifth most eligible woman? That would be my daughter, Chelsea Clinton. That's my daughter. Hands off her, hands off.
1:10:56 Speaker 01 Good job.
1:10:57 Speaker 02 Chelsea, I'd love to come visit you and your co-host in Oxford, is that possible? I don't wanna miss. No, Dad. We're good.
1:11:03 Dax Shepard? We're straight.
1:11:04 Speaker 02 Are you sure?
1:11:05 Speaker 01 They're testifying, I think, very soon.
1:11:07 Dax Shepard? Right now.
1:11:08 Speaker 01 Right now, right? Yeah.
1:11:10 Dax Shepard? Should we go live to it? Rob, go live.
1:11:12 Speaker 02 I did not have sexual relations on Epstein's Island.
1:11:17 Speaker 01 All right. You guys like history?
1:11:18 Speaker 02 I love it.
1:11:19 Dax Shepard? It's his go to.
1:11:20 Speaker 01 What admiral was the first person to fly over both the North and South Poles?
1:11:27 Speaker 02 Wow.
1:11:27 Speaker 01 I have a hint, if you need it.
1:11:30 Speaker 02 I want to say Admanson, but I don't know if he was flying. I think he might have been pre-flight because they said fly over.
1:11:38 Dax Shepard? This would be probably in the twenties.
1:11:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, probably twenties Admiral Ackbar from Star Wars.
1:11:45 Dax Shepard? I'm gonna go with Ackbar too.
1:11:46 Speaker 02 It's not any of the discoverers. It's not Perry or Admanson.
1:11:50 Dax Shepard? Or Fitzgerald.
1:11:51 Speaker 02 Shackelford was another one. Was he maybe Everest Shackelford?
1:11:55 Dax Shepard? Not the Edmund Fitzgerald.
1:11:57 Speaker 02 It's not the Reckless, that's not Fitzgerald.
1:12:01 Speaker 01 His last name is very apropos. Flying over the North and South.
1:12:06 Speaker 02 John Planes? Maybe Polar.
1:12:09 Dax Shepard? No, Jon Snow.
1:12:10 Speaker 02 Jon Snow.
1:12:12 Speaker 01 It's Jon Snow. No, it's Richard Byrd.
1:12:15 Speaker 02 Richard Byrd.
1:12:16 Dax Shepard? That doesn't ring about.
1:12:17 Speaker 02 I had never heard that. I actually think that's a fake name. What rodents meat do three out of four Peruvians munch? Oh, easy. Believing it cures arthritis.
1:12:26 Dax Shepard? Easy. You're right.
1:12:28 Speaker 01 Do three, two, one?
1:12:29 Speaker 02 Oh, no, I was just giving you time to.
1:12:30 Speaker 01 Oh, I thought you wanted to guess.
1:12:32 Speaker 02 I didn't want to be a dick and just blur it.
1:12:33 Speaker 01 I don't know.
1:12:34 Dax Shepard? The Copibarra?
1:12:35 Speaker 02 No.
1:12:36 Speaker 01 Matt?
1:12:36 Speaker 02 Fucking guinea pig.
1:12:37 Speaker 01 Oh, ew.
1:12:38 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:12:39 Dax Shepard? Hey, I'm obsessed with Copibarra's.
1:12:40 Speaker 02 They're the greatest.
1:12:41 Dax Shepard? Went to a Copibarra sanctuary where they like walk up to you and kind of sit next to you and get in your face.
1:12:47 Speaker 02 They're adorable. I'm not a big rodent guy in general.
1:12:51 Speaker 01 Sure.
1:12:51 Speaker 02 Copibarra's.
1:12:52 Speaker 01 I didn't even know they qualified.
1:12:54 Speaker 02 I think it's in Mexico.
1:12:55 Dax Shepard? They're the world's largest rodent.
1:12:56 Speaker 02 They don't look like.
1:12:57 Dax Shepard? They look like Caitlin Shetland.
1:12:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, they're kind of like a Star Wars toy.
1:13:01 Dax Shepard? Yeah, like an Ewok. Okay, here we go. How many blowholes does a baleen whale boast?
1:13:08 Speaker 01 I'm gonna say zero.
1:13:10 Speaker 02 I'm gonna say two.
1:13:11 Dax Shepard? It's two.
1:13:13 Speaker 02 I'm guessing. I'm not a blowhole guy. I had my blowhole removed last year. I don't even like,
1:13:17 Dax Shepard? You're a blowhard.
1:13:18 Speaker 02 I don't even like to think about it.
1:13:19 Dax Shepard? Blowhard.
1:13:20 Speaker 02 What do you got, Monica?
1:13:21 Speaker 01 Okay. I really wanna do a hard one.
1:13:23 Speaker 02 I have two more questions after this, I might.
1:13:25 Speaker 01 What South African corporation sells two thirds of the world's diamonds?
1:13:30 Speaker 02 Oh, we know this. Three, two, one.
1:13:33 Dax Shepard? The Bears.
1:13:33 Speaker 01 Good job. Yes.
1:13:34 Dax Shepard? The Bears.
1:13:35 Speaker 01 You got it.
1:13:38 Speaker 02 Where'd you get your wife's ring?
1:13:39 Dax Shepard? The Bears.
1:13:40 Speaker 02 The Bears.
1:13:44 Speaker 02 Uh, what about, what NBA superstar maintains anonymity by registering at hotels as Vladimir Mandingo?
1:13:54 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:13:55 Speaker 02 This one I don't know. I'm looking.
1:13:56 Dax Shepard? Oh, I mean, I think here's a time to go with your number one prankster in the NBA.
1:14:01 Speaker 01 Which is who?
1:14:02 Dax Shepard? Shaquille O'Neal.
1:14:02 Speaker 01 Oh, that's a good guess.
1:14:04 Speaker 02 Yes, it is, Dax Shepard.
1:14:06 Speaker 01 Wow, that's really good.
1:14:08 Dax Shepard? I would've said like, you know, Durant or something. Or, or, or Vladi Diva.
1:14:11 Speaker 02 Vladi, yeah, yeah.
1:14:13 Dax Shepard? Takes you to Russians.
1:14:14 Speaker 02 Shaq, very impressive.
1:14:16 Dax Shepard? What was it?
1:14:16 Speaker 02 Mandingo.
1:14:17 Dax Shepard? Yeah, he's always got a dick joke going. He famously put a Subway sandwich in his shorts one time.
1:14:23 Speaker 01 Wow, I'm impressed.
1:14:23 Dax Shepard? Yeah, okay.
1:14:24 Speaker 01 That was good.
1:14:25 Dax Shepard? What product did Singapore agree to let residents use as long as they had a prescription in order to secure a US free trade agreement?
1:14:34 Speaker 02 I think I know what this is.
1:14:35 Dax Shepard? I think I do too.
1:14:36 Speaker 02 I'm gonna say chewing gum.
1:14:38 Dax Shepard? I haven't looked, but.
1:14:40 Speaker 01 How do you guys know this stuff?
1:14:42 Speaker 02 Cause there was a guy in the nineties, a kid who was in Singapore. People will say it's the cleanest place in the world. It's like Disneyland.
1:14:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:14:48 Speaker 02 The flip side to that is, this American dude, I think, just took a piece of gum and threw it on the ground or put it on a wall. They caned him and took a bamboo stick and whipped his ass like 10 times, I feel like.
1:15:00 Dax Shepard? That was in the nineties.
1:15:02 Speaker 02 Big news story.
1:15:02 Speaker 01 Oh, wow.
1:15:03 Dax Shepard? And I went with my mother to Singapore in probably 98, and we specifically brought gum and chewed it. That's why I knew it. We decided to just be outlaws by chewing gum.
1:15:16 Speaker 02 Smart. Going to a foreign country where they have draconian laws. Let's break a few.
1:15:21 Dax Shepard? That's our spirit. Chewing gum. Yep. You got it.
1:15:23 Speaker 01 Wow.
1:15:23 Dax Shepard? Yeah, really good.
1:15:24 Speaker 02 Give us one more.
1:15:25 Speaker 01 Okay, let's, let's do this.
1:15:26 Dax Shepard? I'd love that you carry these. Bree and I used to, my ex-girlfriend. We would go to a restaurant and just have the stack of them in her purse.
1:15:32 Speaker 02 I love it.
1:15:33 Speaker 01 What veteran ABC announcer nixed NBC's invitation to work the Sydney Olympics claiming Australia is too damn far away?
1:15:42 Speaker 02 ABC, the only guys I remember from ABC were Peter Jennings or Sam Donaldson.
1:15:47 Dax Shepard? That feels like a Donaldson.
1:15:49 Speaker 02 It feels like a Donaldson. Cause he was a little more salty and kind of like, alright, I'm gonna say Donaldson.
1:15:54 Dax Shepard? Contankerous.
1:15:55 Speaker 02 He was contankerous. I'll say Donaldson.
1:15:56 Speaker 01 Okay, final answer. Jim McKay.
1:15:59 Speaker 02 Oh, Jim McKay.
1:16:00 Dax Shepard? Jimmy Jam.
1:16:01 Speaker 02 My last one.
1:16:02 Dax Shepard? Jimmy Jammer.
1:16:02 Speaker 02 What fruit was legally ruled to be a vegetable by the US Supreme Court in 1893 tariff dispute? I know what this is.
1:16:09 Speaker 01 I hate my son.
1:16:10 Speaker 02 Oh, no, I didn't.
1:16:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, because did you think tomato? Cause it's the opposite.
1:16:13 Dax Shepard? Tomato.
1:16:13 Speaker 01 No, that's the opposite. It's a fruit.
1:16:18 Dax Shepard? Tomato.
1:16:18 Speaker 01 It's not tomato.
1:16:19 Dax Shepard? Final answer.
1:16:20 Speaker 01 No, it's a fruit.
1:16:22 Speaker 02 Right, that's the point.
1:16:23 Dax Shepard? It was ruled as a vegetable for a trade agreement, but really it's a fruit.
1:16:27 Speaker 02 I didn't, I, see, my problem is I read too fast. Cause I was like, it's bananas. Cuba, bananas, the tropics, Hawaii. That's, that's bananas.
1:16:35 Speaker 01 But then I feel like we would have heard that it got switched.
1:16:39 Dax Shepard? What they're saying is they're giving you the origin story of why there's confusion about whether it's a vegetable or a fruit. It's clearly a fruit. It has seeds, but it needed to get ruled as a vegetable to qualify for a trade agreement.
1:16:49 Speaker 02 There was a subruling though, that anyone who, when someone asks, it's true, when someone says, oh, my favorite vegetable is tomato. And someone goes, it's actually a fruit. You're legally allowed to slap that person.
1:16:59 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:16:59 Speaker 02 This is per US code. Not my ruling.
1:17:02 Dax Shepard? That's the only great outgrowth of that trade agreement is that it is now legal to slap people.
1:17:08 Speaker 02 If they correct you.
1:17:09 Dax Shepard? On something obvious that everyone knows. If they tell you that the Phil Collins song in the air tonight is about a guy who watched another guy drown.
1:17:17 Speaker 02 Then you can just slap the shit out of them.
1:17:19 Dax Shepard? Fucking repeatedly.
1:17:20 Speaker 02 Right there.
1:17:20 Dax Shepard? What other things? Uh, there's a few things that fall under this.
1:17:23 Speaker 02 You know, I would say, the girl from Poltergeist is dead. You know, she died. Like, that's one where it's like, yeah, I fucking know.
1:17:29 Dax Shepard? Yeah, stop it. Yeah, yeah, okay.
1:17:31 Speaker 01 Okay, well, that was really fun.
1:17:33 Dax Shepard? That was.
1:17:34 Speaker 02 I like asking questions and I like answering questions. And I was like, what if we put this together with people I like and it was funny?
1:17:40 Dax Shepard? I know it's really a gross part of my behavior, but I love answering questions.
1:17:45 Speaker 02 I love it. I do.
1:17:46 Dax Shepard? It's like shameful. Nothing gives me more joy.
1:17:48 Speaker 02 Oh, God, I love it so much.
1:17:48 Dax Shepard? Why? What's wrong? Well, we know. We talked about it last time.
1:17:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, but it's just like we spent our lives, people have spent their lives reading weird shit and wondering, when is it ever gonna pay off in my life that I could name the Pope who started the Great Schism? When am I ever gonna be in a position where I'm gonna be asked that? And now you might.
1:18:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:18:06 Dax Shepard? Yeah, you're right. It's ROI, which we talked about last time, too. It's final return on investment. We've put some time into this for no reason, and now we finally.
1:18:13 Speaker 02 This is a financial podcast, by the way. This is your return of investment.
1:18:16 Dax Shepard? Our next guest is the guy, Jim, what's his name?
1:18:18 Speaker 02 Jim Cramer?
1:18:19 Dax Shepard? Jim Cramer, yeah, he's, he's, he's following you.
1:18:23 Speaker 02 Saw him outside just running sprints back and forth.
1:18:27 Dax Shepard? All right, Ike, I love you.
1:18:28 Speaker 02 You guys are the greatest.
1:18:29 Dax Shepard? Thanks for number four. I know we'll see you on number five. When are we recording, I guess is my question.
1:18:33 Speaker 02 I think I have two days off from the studio and we're kind of locking it in there. You're gonna be with great company. We got you, we got Russell Brand.
1:18:41 Dax Shepard? Oh, geez, I'm gonna take a rainy.
1:18:44 Speaker 02 Who else is on there? BTK Killer.
1:18:47 Dax Shepard? Okay, uh huh, uh huh.
1:18:50 Speaker 02 And, oh, Henry Kissinger's ghost.
1:18:51 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:18:53 Speaker 02 I think you're gonna be with like people that you're gonna be like, this is kind of fun and splashy. And Casey Anthony.
1:19:00 Dax Shepard? Great, this sounds.
1:19:02 Speaker 02 We have our first tranche.
1:19:04 Speaker 01 Sure.
1:19:04 Speaker 02 And then we have.
1:19:05 Dax Shepard? And then we have me and the gang.
1:19:06 Speaker 02 You and the gang.
1:19:07 Dax Shepard? You and the gang.
1:19:10 Dax Shepard? Do the sponsors know about the lineup for?
1:19:11 Speaker 02 No, we, we tell them afterwards.
1:19:13 Dax Shepard? Okay, okay.
1:19:14 Speaker 02 I look forward to seeing you on Saturday, wearing a full diaper.
1:19:17 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, that's right, Sunday.
1:19:18 Speaker 02 Sunday. He wishes it was Saturday. And the actor goes to.
1:19:23 Dax Shepard? Here at backstage. I run out crying on stage.
1:19:26 Speaker 02 Who's in two diapers?
1:19:28 Dax Shepard? I'm sorry.
1:19:30 Speaker 02 It's for my health.
1:19:31 Dax Shepard? Get our kids out of here. The kids need you. I interrupt the thing because I can't handle the kids.
1:19:37 Speaker 02 Francisco's filming you.
1:19:40 Dax Shepard? I shit myself and the kids need something. You have to come off stage.
1:19:42 Speaker 02 You gotta look at this video I got of Vax Shepard shitting himself on stage.
1:19:47 Dax Shepard? He shit you, he shit you for real.
1:19:48 Speaker 02 He shit you, he shit you for real.
1:19:51 Dax Shepard? All right, love you.
1:19:52 Speaker 02 Love you, baby.
1:19:53 Speaker 05 He's an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's gonna let him have the facts.
1:20:03 Dax Shepard? Hi, ten year old.
1:20:06 Speaker 01 Why? Cause I'm wearing shorts.
1:20:07 Dax Shepard? And your hair is back in a.
1:20:09 Speaker 01 In a ponytail. Yeah, cuz I have to wash my hair.
1:20:13 Dax Shepard? It's a thousand degrees out.
1:20:15 Speaker 01 So.
1:20:17 Dax Shepard? It feels like Bali outside. Have you been to Bali?
1:20:20 Speaker 01 No.
1:20:21 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:20:22 Speaker 01 I haven't. Actually, that reminds me, I was playing a fun game yesterday.
1:20:26 Dax Shepard? Bajan?
1:20:26 Speaker 01 No, that's tonight. Um, I was playing a fun game where you say the name of a country. Like I would say Japan.
1:20:35 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:20:36 Speaker 01 And then you in your head think of from a scale of one to 10, how badly you wanna go there.
1:20:41 Dax Shepard? Okay, great.
1:20:41 Speaker 01 And then I guess your number.
1:20:43 Dax Shepard? Okay, Japan.
1:20:44 Speaker 01 Okay, for me? Okay, I have my number.
1:20:46 Dax Shepard? Okay. Um, okay, for you, I guess, I guess nine.
1:20:52 Speaker 01 Yes, nine. I really wanna go.
1:20:55 Dax Shepard? Guess for me.
1:20:56 Speaker 01 Um, oh, oh.
1:20:59 Dax Shepard? Oh.
1:21:02 Speaker 01 Nine, 10?
1:21:04 Dax Shepard? 10.
1:21:05 Speaker 01 But is that just?
1:21:06 Dax Shepard? I'm dying to go.
1:21:07 Speaker 01 I'm dying to go too.
1:21:08 Dax Shepard? And all my like idols, all my mentors in my life, they don't just go like, oh, I like it. They're like, you, you have to, for some reason, they think I
1:21:17 Speaker 01 Specific to you.
1:21:18 Dax Shepard? That I'm gonna really respond to what's happening.
1:21:20 Speaker 01 Let me tell you something.
1:21:21 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:21:22 Speaker 01 I know this isn't fair. I do this to people. I tell them that their answers are wrong.
1:21:26 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:21:27 Speaker 01 I think your answer is wrong.
1:21:29 Dax Shepard? Because?
1:21:30 Speaker 01 Because you don't like fish or sushi.
1:21:34 Dax Shepard? I do like some sushi.
1:21:36 Speaker 01 You don't like real nigiri?
1:21:39 Dax Shepard? I like yellow tail and salmon on rice. That's, I used to get that from, um.
1:21:43 Speaker 01 Sugar fish.
1:21:44 Dax Shepard? Sugar fish all the time. So I got a one bad order and I'll.
1:21:47 Speaker 01 And now see, now you're not. So like.
1:21:49 Dax Shepard? But also they do a ton of great steak. They do wagyu.
1:21:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, I just, I think food wise, it's not gonna be your 100, your 10.
1:21:57 Dax Shepard? Yes, that's not why.
1:21:59 Speaker 01 So I brought it down to nine.
1:22:00 Dax Shepard? Okay, okay. Um, the reason people want me to go there. Is that everything is executed perfectly.
1:22:06 Speaker 01 I know. I'm so excited to go.
1:22:07 Dax Shepard? Like Tom Hanson's like, when the man is sweeping the cobblestone, it's like he's building a Swiss watch. Like, everything is done meticulously.
1:22:16 Speaker 01 I love that.
1:22:17 Dax Shepard? And I would love to witness that.
1:22:19 Speaker 01 I also think you're gonna feel a little crowded on the trains and stuff. I think you're gonna feel a tiny bit claustrophobic and tall.
1:22:27 Dax Shepard? Slash grateful, because I'll be so much bigger than everyone.
1:22:30 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:22:32 Dax Shepard? I'll feel like Godzilla.
1:22:33 Speaker 01 I still think you're a nine.
1:22:34 Dax Shepard? Okay. I'm basing it on like, what is my, like, first of all, it's a, it's a hurdle to get there. It's you, you're losing a day, right? So if I got to pick my very next place I went to, it's my pick.
1:22:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, me too.
1:22:47 Dax Shepard? Like, I'm going to Budapest, which is high on the list, but it's more convenient to what's already happening. But really, the thing I most want to go to is Japan.
1:22:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:22:58 Dax Shepard? That's why I gotta set it at 10.
1:23:00 Speaker 01 I understand.
1:23:00 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:23:01 Speaker 01 That makes sense what you did.
1:23:03 Dax Shepard? What's your one that you, like, right now, you can teleport anywhere? What is it?
1:23:08 Speaker 01 Okay, now, see, this is hard.
1:23:10 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:23:10 Speaker 01 Because do I want to go somewhere new?
1:23:12 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:23:13 Speaker 01 For my teleportation?
1:23:14 Dax Shepard? Yeah, it, it's gotta be new.
1:23:16 Speaker 01 Oh, it does.
1:23:16 Dax Shepard? For this game.
1:23:17 Speaker 01 Okay, then Japan, yes.
1:23:18 Dax Shepard? That's your also top next.
1:23:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, the problem is, some of my 10s are places I've been.
1:23:25 Dax Shepard? Sure, sure. Yeah, for me too. Like, Africa to me would be like, going back to Africa would be a 10.
1:23:30 Speaker 01 So where do you think Africa is? Well, Africa's a continent, but.
1:23:34 Dax Shepard? Uh, specifically the Grummeti Reserve in Tanzania is where I would want to go. Or I really, really want to go to, um, Mozambique. I want to go to the Akuwanga Delta.
1:23:44 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:23:45 Dax Shepard? Okay, Mozambique, which is the jewel of Africa, they say. It's all water. You're like on boats, seeing elephants and stuff.
1:23:51 Speaker 01 And where do you think that is on my list?
1:23:54 Dax Shepard? 6.57.
1:23:55 Speaker 01 Six!
1:23:56 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:23:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, actually, 6.5. I just don't do point fives, but yeah, that's right.
1:24:01 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:24:01 Speaker 01 That's right. I'm very, I'm very knowable.
1:24:04 Dax Shepard? I'm putting it a little higher than you are, because I actually know how luxurious it could be, and you don't know that, yeah.
1:24:11 Speaker 01 Yeah. I'm sure I would absolutely love it.
1:24:14 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:24:15 Speaker 01 I know I would, but as we discussed recently, it is a character defect. I'm working, I'm trying to work on it.
1:24:21 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:24:22 Speaker 01 I don't have enough appreciation for nature.
1:24:26 Speaker 01 And I recognize that.
1:24:28 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:24:29 Speaker 01 And I wish I had more.
1:24:31 Dax Shepard? Boy, if any place would break through, it would be Africa.
1:24:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, I bet.
1:24:34 Dax Shepard? Yeah, I mean, as I said, you can tell it's the cauldron of life.
1:24:38 Speaker 01 Right, exactly.
1:24:39 Dax Shepard? It's palpable.
1:24:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I think I'm gonna teleport to.
1:24:46 Dax Shepard? New York or Paris?
1:24:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:24:48 Dax Shepard? Yeah, or London?
1:24:49 Speaker 01 Italy or London. I am this summer gonna try to go to London and Paris.
1:24:54 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:24:54 Speaker 01 So that's nowhere new.
1:24:56 Dax Shepard? Right.
1:24:57 Speaker 01 I'm not in the mood for new this year.
1:25:00 Dax Shepard? Will you be traveling alone there or will you be?
1:25:02 Speaker 01 No, friends.
1:25:04 Dax Shepard? Okay, you would, friends are.
1:25:05 Speaker 01 Anna.
1:25:06 Dax Shepard? She wants to go to Europe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:25:08 Speaker 01 And we went to London together when we all went to London.
1:25:12 Dax Shepard? Yes.
1:25:13 Speaker 01 And we had just the best time and we talk about it all the time, how we need to go back.
1:25:16 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:25:17 Speaker 01 So I think we're gonna go back.
1:25:18 Dax Shepard? It's great. Italy's so, obviously, I think it's the best personally, but it is unrelentingly hot in the summer.
1:25:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:25:27 Dax Shepard? And then there's so many tourists. I feel so bad for the Italians. It's a mix of I feel so bad for them and also it's such a huge chunk of their economy that of course I don't feel bad for them, but I just. Like if you lived in Rome and 90% of the people you saw day to day didn't live, weren't your neighbors that lived there, that must get taxing.
1:25:45 Speaker 01 That's probably like if you live in on Sunset.
1:25:50 Dax Shepard? I don't know if it's that bad. I think when you're walking through Rome, you're seeing in the summer.
1:25:55 Speaker 01 If you live on Hollywood Boulevard.
1:25:57 Dax Shepard? Yeah, if you live on Hollywood Boulevard.
1:25:59 Speaker 01 That's what I meant. Or if you live in Times Square, that's tough.
1:26:03 Dax Shepard? If you live right in Times Square, yeah, it could be challenging to you.
1:26:06 Speaker 01 Didn't, um, didn't Alexandra Skarsgård lived, live in kind of.
1:26:10 Dax Shepard? Somewhere horrendous.
1:26:11 Speaker 01 Right in the middle of Times Square.
1:26:13 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when I stayed, when they put me for baby mama initially at a hotel above a fire station and the police station across from Grand Central Station.
1:26:24 Speaker 01 Oh, ouch.
1:26:25 Dax Shepard? And I was like, they.
1:26:27 Speaker 01 They hate me.
1:26:28 Dax Shepard? We were just, this just came up in my Tuesday meeting, just status. And I think especially when you're on sets and people are ranked in like.
1:26:36 Speaker 01 Literally ranked on the call sheet.
1:26:38 Dax Shepard? Yeah, it's like one, and you're, you're number 61 and, and you get allocated resources.
1:26:45 Speaker 01 Based on that.
1:26:45 Dax Shepard? Commensurate with that number, right?
1:26:47 Speaker 01 Yes, you do.
1:26:48 Dax Shepard? Yeah, so I'm at the. Shitbox above the, you know, fire department.
1:26:53 Speaker 01 Yeah. And where was like Amy, who's probably number, Amy and Tina were number one and two.
1:26:57 Dax Shepard? Tina and Amy live there.
1:26:59 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
1:27:00 Dax Shepard? So I'm trying to think who I would have had to go to next. Ultimately, they got me out of there and I went to the maritime, which was great.
1:27:08 Speaker 01 Yeah. And there's ghosts there.
1:27:09 Dax Shepard? There was ghosts there. Yeah. And you're right. In the meatpacking, there's great food.
1:27:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:27:14 Dax Shepard? It was lovely. Anyhow, that was just the topic on Tuesday. And a friend of mine who is about to go on a press tour was like, I just want to make sure I behave and don't get caught up in like, am I in that picture? Am I not? Did they ask me to go to this interview or not?
1:27:27 Speaker 01 It's hard.
1:27:28 Dax Shepard? And he reached out to a fellow person and I can't believe this brilliant advice here. Like, well, there's someone else in the cast that's younger and probably needs help. That hasn't been here before.
1:27:37 Speaker 01 That can be your job.
1:27:38 Dax Shepard? Focus on that person.
1:27:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's lovely.
1:27:40 Dax Shepard? And he did. And he goes, I've never felt better ever. I never considered one of the things I did or didn't get. And the parents of this person thought I was so nice and I told them, I'm not, no, I was just being selfish. I wanted to make sure I didn't act like a brat and it was a joy to do it. And I, I'm actually grateful to you.
1:27:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:27:58 Dax Shepard? Anyways.
1:27:58 Speaker 01 That's great.
1:27:59 Dax Shepard? Yeah. I was like, what? Great advice. What was this event you were at just now?
1:28:04 Speaker 01 I wasn't at an event.
1:28:05 Dax Shepard? I thought you were busy today.
1:28:06 Speaker 01 Oh, I was, I was recording. I was, I had a meeting and a recording.
1:28:09 Dax Shepard? What was the recording?
1:28:10 Speaker 01 I ended up not doing it. I ended up having to reschedule it, but it was for, we're, we're testing out a season two of Beth's Dead.
1:28:22 Dax Shepard? Oh, okay.
1:28:23 Speaker 01 We have a potential story. And so we want to record us at the very beginning, talking about.
1:28:30 Dax Shepard? The merits of it.
1:28:31 Speaker 01 Exactly. Exactly.
1:28:33 Dax Shepard? What's, well, you can't, you'll tell me privately.
1:28:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, I can't talk about it.
1:28:36 Dax Shepard? But someone contacted you, I presume with a story?
1:28:39 Speaker 01 Actually, so it's funny because we, you know, we've been kind of keeping our ears open for interesting stories that are meaningful. That will do the same thing that this first one did. So we're not just, you know, and we're not like on a timeline or anything. It's just if there's something good, we'll do it.
1:28:56 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:28:57 Speaker 01 So Elizabeth came across a couple of stories and she was telling me and then she was like, it's kind of like this story that happened to Andy. And then I was like, wait, what? And then she tells that. And I was like, wait, why don't I know about this?
1:29:09 Dax Shepard? What if you come to find out Elizabeth and Andy are the actual?
1:29:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, catfishers.
1:29:14 Dax Shepard? They're, they have all these stories.
1:29:17 Speaker 01 I know. I did think I was like, what? Yeah, well, we know it happened because.
1:29:21 Dax Shepard? I have a suspicious amount of stories. You know, I often hear myself telling a story and I'm like, if I was this person, I'd be like, Matt, then you didn't get shot at, you know, like, there's no way this also happened. And that thing had also happened.
1:29:32 Speaker 01 I know. Well, to be fair, this one isn't, it didn't actually happen to Andy. That's not really a fair way of me framing it. He was involved with people and this story happened to those people.
1:29:42 Dax Shepard? Okay, okay.
1:29:44 Speaker 01 So it's supposed to do that.
1:29:45 Dax Shepard? And then why is too hot?
1:29:47 Speaker 01 Well,
1:29:50 Speaker 01 I have to cut. Why? Cause I feel bad.
1:29:53 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:29:53 Speaker 01 I just, I'm getting a tree delivery.
1:29:56 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:29:57 Speaker 01 And.
1:29:57 Dax Shepard? That's getting planted in your yard or?
1:29:59 Speaker 01 In indoor tree.
1:30:00 Dax Shepard? Indoor tree.
1:30:01 Speaker 01 And it's very exciting. And there's three options and I really want to see them. And I really wanted it done by tonight because of mahjong and Charlie's party tomorrow. So today was the only day. It's supposed to happen at 11:30. Guess what? It's happening right now.
1:30:18 Dax Shepard? Oh.
1:30:19 Speaker 01 So it really, it did. I got karma.
1:30:22 Dax Shepard? You got hoisted.
1:30:24 Speaker 01 It was karma. Yeah.
1:30:25 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:30:26 Speaker 01 I guess I'll leave it in because I'm honest.
1:30:28 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So as you were walking out, they're walking in virtually.
1:30:32 Speaker 01 I like, I mean, I didn't see them, but I assumed they're there right now. She texted me and it's hot.
1:30:36 Dax Shepard? It's a hot topic. Oh no, it's physically hot out.
1:30:40 Speaker 01 It's physically hot.
1:30:41 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, it's outrageous. Not only, like, we get these blasts every year. We get these blasts of like three days of 90s in winter. We don't get, or we're, we have two weeks of 90s. Like I looked today at the coming schedule for the next eight days out. It's still, it never gets below 85 for the next 10 days that are on the.
1:31:01 Speaker 01 It does make me anxious that it's happening in March. Like, what is gonna happen in August and September?
1:31:09 Dax Shepard? Yeah, but again, I don't know that there's any, I don't know that it works that way.
1:31:13 Speaker 01 I hope not.
1:31:13 Dax Shepard? Again, I tell you about the dinosaur show. I found that weirdly comforting.
1:31:17 Speaker 01 Well, you just said you're watching one.
1:31:18 Dax Shepard? I didn't tell you about the geology of it. More interesting than learning about the dinosaurs is learning about the history of the planet. This place is an absolute mess. So, right, it started as one continent, Pangaea. When that broke apart, it blacked out the sky. It was like 100 degrees cooler. Then there were these periods of like insane methane and carbon dioxide in it that it was in the hundreds. Everything died. Then it cooled off because of this and then it came back. Like, I believe in global warming.
1:31:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:31:50 Dax Shepard? But we are talking about us moving up like two to four degrees Celsius. And it's just interesting watching the show that the earth has gone through cycles of hundreds of degrees Celsius.
1:32:00 Speaker 01 Couldn't sustain human life.
1:32:01 Dax Shepard? But for the earth's record, this isn't a skinny. Like, that's an interesting way to see it.
1:32:06 Speaker 01 We've also changed the way our own requirements from the earth. We demand so much more.
1:32:14 Dax Shepard? Yeah, and so did the explosion of trees. Like, there was not trees. This was an interesting, absolutely hard to believe fact. You know sharks have been here longer than trees?
1:32:22 Speaker 01 Wow, really?
1:32:23 Dax Shepard? Like, what? Trees are like the green, the greenifying of the planet and there being oxygen here is so new in its five billion year history.
1:32:34 Speaker 01 Ding ding ding.
1:32:35 Dax Shepard? So there's no trees. And then there's too many trees. And then everything died. And then it came back. And then all these crazy volcanoes that were just spewing forever. And then it was dark out. And it's like, wow, this, this thing has seen it all.
1:32:47 Speaker 01 It's been through it. Ding ding ding, trees. There's a tree in my, coming to my house. So that's cool.
1:33:09 Speaker 01 The stakes of the tree coming into my house are high because it's not a small, it's a large tree.
1:33:16 Dax Shepard? Where does it live?
1:33:17 Speaker 01 In the living room. I'm so excited. It's gonna look so pretty.
1:33:20 Dax Shepard? And it'll get enough light and who will water it?
1:33:22 Speaker 01 So stop, that's the part I'm having anxiety about.
1:33:24 Dax Shepard? Will you have an automatic irrigation system?
1:33:26 Speaker 01 No, I'll water it. I'm good at watering.
1:33:28 Dax Shepard? That'll be no problem.
1:33:29 Speaker 01 I'm good at doing it. I just don't know if I do it right because things still die.
1:33:36 Dax Shepard? Yeah, you can chat it, chat, G G G T. It'll probably tell you how many ounces of water to put in.
1:33:41 Speaker 01 That's true.
1:33:42 Speaker 06 Probably a smart device you can get to that like measures the soil moisture.
1:33:47 Dax Shepard? I bet you can automate the whole thing and fill up a tank once in a while.
1:33:51 Speaker 01 That would be good.
1:33:51 Dax Shepard? And put nitrogen pellets in there. It'll probably just keep it perfect.
1:33:54 Speaker 01 Okay, I want to do that because it's an important tree and if it dies.
1:33:59 Dax Shepard? You don't even know what tree it is yet, but it is when it gets here, it's important. You know, it's a very important tree.
1:34:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, and if it dies under my watch.
1:34:05 Dax Shepard? You just have tons of soil in your, you obviously have tons of soil.
1:34:08 Speaker 01 It's gonna be in a pot.
1:34:10 Dax Shepard? This is an interesting idea, right? They have like a ton of soil in your living room.
1:34:14 Speaker 01 Well, it's in a pot.
1:34:16 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:34:17 Speaker 01 Like that.
1:34:18 Dax Shepard? That doesn't have soil because that's a fake tree.
1:34:19 Speaker 01 Well, let's pretend it was real.
1:34:21 Dax Shepard? Yeah, if there's a big, big pot of dirt over there, I bet we would smell it.
1:34:25 Speaker 01 It'd be fine. No, it has moss on top. It's fine. I have plants. You're, yeah, you're not a big plant guy. Just like I'm not a big, I'm not really interested in nature.
1:34:35 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah.
1:34:36 Speaker 01 You're not really interested in plants.
1:34:38 Dax Shepard? It's kind of like dogs. Like, there's a lot of stuff that's outside. I don't need to bring it inside. It's fine with me that's outside and then I can go visit it outside, but I like, like, you know.
1:34:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:34:47 Dax Shepard? Have you ever played Rummy Cube?
1:34:48 Speaker 01 Something is going on. I'm shook by this.
1:34:52 Dax Shepard? Oh, wow.
1:34:53 Speaker 01 Because the next thing that was about to come out of my mouth was sort of like Rummy Cube.
1:34:59 Dax Shepard? Mahjong?
1:35:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, but yeah.
1:35:02 Dax Shepard? Yeah, there's tiles and have you ever played Rummy Cube?
1:35:04 Speaker 01 Yes, I have.
1:35:05 Dax Shepard? It's so fun.
1:35:06 Speaker 01 I like it.
1:35:06 Dax Shepard? Lincoln and I had the most, I mean, she's becoming my Erin Weekly as she gets older.
1:35:12 Speaker 01 Don't say that. You already have an Erin Weekly.
1:35:14 Dax Shepard? Well.
1:35:14 Speaker 01 She's becoming your Lincoln.
1:35:16 Dax Shepard? You should be nervous.
1:35:17 Speaker 01 You guys have your own relationship.
1:35:18 Dax Shepard? But I mean, in that the way Erin and I could in seventh grade, get on to something that would last for hours and no one else was enjoying it.
1:35:27 Speaker 01 Oh, wow. Okay.
1:35:28 Dax Shepard? So she and I played Rummy Cube and we started singing at some point and we sang for like two hours together playing this game and it was, it was as fun as someone can have. And that came on the heels of watching the second episode of DTF.
1:35:42 Speaker 01 Oh, my.
1:35:43 Dax Shepard? St. Louis.
1:35:44 Speaker 01 What a show. I want, I, yeah, I'm two in.
1:35:47 Dax Shepard? Yeah. What a show. As you might expect, I've left all these guys messages.
1:35:51 Speaker 01 Of course you have.
1:35:52 Dax Shepard? Saying.
1:35:53 Speaker 01 Yes, you're mad.
1:35:54 Dax Shepard? No, saying, well, I see that you guys are having a lot of fun talking about peronies.
1:36:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:36:01 Dax Shepard? Everyone's having a good laugh at the idea of someone having peronies.
1:36:06 Speaker 01 It does feel like a personal attack.
1:36:09 Speaker 01 I will say.
1:36:11 Dax Shepard? Yeah. I mean, they're having a good time with peronies.
1:36:17 Dax Shepard? As they should. It's such a stupid condition. I just think it's also crazy that I can leave a message that I have had peronies and I'm on the other side of peronies.
1:36:27 Speaker 01 I know. Thank God you're on the other side.
1:36:29 Dax Shepard? Said to them, I know you guys think it's a real hoot, but you should know that I was told it'll either heal by itself in a year or you'll have to have a C, uh, operation, a C-section that is 50% successful. And the other half of the time, you will never use your penis again. So I hope you guys know that that's what I had to deal with. And I know everyone's having a real good laugh.
1:36:53 Speaker 01 See, now you know what it's like. Now you know what it's like when someone's suffering from something.
1:36:59 Dax Shepard? I know, but I need to call them.
1:37:00 Speaker 01 And then someone's making fun of it. They don't understand what it's like to live with this.
1:37:05 Dax Shepard? It's a bad cop because it didn't, it doesn't bother me at all. And ideally we would want it to bother me. So that I would understand how other people feel.
1:37:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:37:12 Dax Shepard? But that kind of confirms already my worldview, which is like, just get over it.
1:37:16 Speaker 01 If you didn't.
1:37:17 Dax Shepard? If I had lost my penis.
1:37:18 Speaker 01 Exactly. You might have more sensitivity or like, well, you would have more.
1:37:24 Dax Shepard? I'd have no sensitivity and also some sense exacerbated sensitivity.
1:37:29 Speaker 01 So, okay. It has no sensitivity. So you could like.
1:37:34 Dax Shepard? I don't think it'll get erect.
1:37:35 Speaker 01 But can you feel anything?
1:37:37 Dax Shepard? I don't know. It didn't sound, it didn't sound good.
1:37:41 Dax Shepard? Use it as a hammer instead.
1:37:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:37:43 Dax Shepard? Start using it.
1:37:44 Speaker 01 Yeah. Use it as a real tool, a tool as it's meant to be.
1:37:47 Dax Shepard? Wedge. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't like, I didn't do enough follow up questions because to be honest, when I heard that, I was like, we're not getting that procedure. I don't care what, I don't care if the penis ties itself into a bow. We won't get a procedure that makes it not ever work.
1:38:03 Speaker 01 Right. I see. Yeah.
1:38:04 Dax Shepard? Like however bad the peronies could have gotten, I can't imagine rolling the dice, flipping a coin like that.
1:38:11 Speaker 01 It's a lot.
1:38:12 Dax Shepard? It's a lot. You gotta concede, you gotta talk to your partner about that.
1:38:15 Speaker 01 Of course.
1:38:16 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:38:16 Speaker 01 But they might feel like I'd, I want you to take the risk because I can't even like, I can't get this in.
1:38:24 Dax Shepard? I thought you were going another direction, which is, I hope that is the outcome.
1:38:31 Speaker 01 Well, I guess they, they have a built in out, even if, if it's all twisted up, they could just like, I'm sorry, I can't like.
1:38:38 Dax Shepard? Can't put a bow tie in there.
1:38:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, I won't go. Um, and then you just be like, but I don't want you to change. So you just be you. And you never have to have sex again.
1:38:48 Dax Shepard? That's right. Yeah. It's the dream. It's every wife's dream.
1:38:52 Speaker 01 It's a lot of wives' dreams. Not all wives.
1:38:55 Dax Shepard? It's not my wife's dream. I don't want to paint that picture at all.
1:38:57 Speaker 01 We're not painting that picture, but it's some wives' dreams. Oh my God. Um, let's see. What else?
1:39:06 Dax Shepard? I keep thinking of movies to add to my list to show Lincoln. I'm so excited. Flirting with Disaster. I'm like, of course, how could I have not shown her Flirting with Disaster?
1:39:14 Speaker 01 You showed me that movie.
1:39:15 Dax Shepard? Yeah, and it does, and I'm due for a rewatch.
1:39:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, I would rewatch that. Can I come over for that? I would love to rewatch that.
1:39:21 Dax Shepard? Yes, and, um, and then, um, Can't Buy Me Love, commenter suggested. I was like, duh, it's my favorite teen movie of all time.
1:39:30 Speaker 01 Um, Flirting with Disaster, ding ding ding, Richard Jenkins, who's in DTF St. Louis, and he's so good in it.
1:39:36 Dax Shepard? He's so prominent.
1:39:37 Speaker 01 He's very prominent. I think everyone needs to watch DTF St. Louis.
1:39:41 Dax Shepard? Do you watch Wednesday?
1:39:42 Speaker 01 I've dropped off on Wednesday.
1:39:44 Dax Shepard? But you would have, you've seen the first season, right?
1:39:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, I loved the first season.
1:39:47 Dax Shepard? Yeah, so you know her kind of nemesis that's black. She's like a Slytherin. I don't know what they're called, but she's like a shapeshifter or whatever. She's got like green eyes. She's the detective that Jenkins is battling there.
1:39:58 Speaker 01 She's great.
1:39:59 Dax Shepard? And you get to see her real pupils for the first time, which is exciting. She's great.
1:40:04 Speaker 01 I have a question. What are your, what's your opinion on what's going on with Love Story, the show about JFK Junior and Caroline Bassett Kennedy? Do you know there's drama?
1:40:14 Dax Shepard? No, it's the drama. I haven't watched it. Um, the only thing I know about it is from you.
1:40:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, cuz I keep watching it.
1:40:21 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:40:21 Speaker 01 Even though I know that there are some problematic things.
1:40:25 Dax Shepard? Right?
1:40:26 Speaker 01 Well, Jack Schlossberg, who is, I'm gonna tell you, he is Caroline Kennedy's son.
1:40:34 Dax Shepard? In real life?
1:40:35 Speaker 01 Yes. Caroline Kennedy, who is JFK Junior's sister.
1:40:40 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:40:40 Speaker 01 Son of JFK.
1:40:42 Dax Shepard? Yep.
1:40:43 Speaker 01 And, and daughter of JFK.
1:40:45 Dax Shepard? Daughter of JFK, yeah.
1:40:46 Speaker 01 Caroline is JFK's jot, jotter.
1:40:49 Dax Shepard? Jotter.
1:40:50 Speaker 01 Daughter.
1:40:51 Dax Shepard? Uh huh.
1:40:51 Speaker 01 His brother was JFK Junior.
1:40:53 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:40:53 Speaker 01 Her son.
1:40:54 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:40:55 Speaker 01 And, you know.
1:40:56 Dax Shepard? His grandson, had he lived.
1:40:58 Speaker 01 Correct. JFK's grandson. What Caroline Kennedy has lived through is just so unbelie, like, you just are like, how can one person endure that much? That's.
1:41:12 Dax Shepard? Brother, uncle, dad.
1:41:15 Speaker 01 Daughter just died. Um.
1:41:18 Dax Shepard? Like, recently?
1:41:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, in December of cancer.
1:41:21 Dax Shepard? Oh my, horror.
1:41:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, and she's like thirty-three or something, Tatiana. Um, she's just endured the most, you know? And. Jack is, that's his mom.
1:41:33 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:41:33 Speaker 01 And she's in the show. She's portrayed in the show.
1:41:37 Dax Shepard? Uh huh.
1:41:38 Speaker 01 Caroline is and, and they all are. And like, Jack is very openly against this show. He's like, this is awful. Yes. This is not a correct depiction of anyone.
1:41:52 Speaker 01 And I totally understand that. And also, so, so at the beginning of the show, uh, JFK Jr. Is dating Daryl Hannah, as he did. And, um, the depiction of Daryl Hannah is really not flattering.
1:42:06 Dax Shepard? It's not.
1:42:07 Speaker 01 No.
1:42:08 Dax Shepard? What things did they?
1:42:09 Speaker 01 They just make her look like very dumb.
1:42:12 Dax Shepard? Oh.
1:42:12 Speaker 01 And ditzy. And like, she's doing coke. And like, she's just like, a real, like, needy person.
1:42:18 Dax Shepard? Oh. I've hung out with her once, and I thought she was incredibly rad.
1:42:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:42:23 Dax Shepard? I had noticed someone had like a jacked up F 250 pickup truck at this small gathering. And I was like, whose truck is that? It was hers.
1:42:31 Speaker 01 Oh, that's cool.
1:42:32 Dax Shepard? And she goes, yeah, I need it because I put my snowmobile in it. I'm like, you snowmobile? I'm like, this is so rad. Like, you're, you are a mermaid and you fucking have a jacked up 250 and snowmobile? I think she's like a tough, cool woman.
1:42:46 Speaker 01 Yes. So she wrote an article, an op ed, that was basically like, very, very, very well done. And, and said, this isn't, this is all incorrect. Um, not just the, like, overall depiction of her, but some factual things. She was like, I've never done coke. Whatever. All these things. So there's like some real criticism that I very much understand. And I'm like, why am I still watching? And I am. I'm in.
1:43:12 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:43:14 Speaker 01 And so I guess I'm saying, I'm sorry to Jack Schlossberg and Daryl Hannah. And what I'm actually really saying is I, I can sometimes get on a high horse. About people engaging in things that I think are wrong.
1:43:31 Dax Shepard? Uh huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you and.
1:43:34 Speaker 01 And celebrity gossip and like dumb stuff.
1:43:36 Dax Shepard? Yeah. But we love the crown.
1:43:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, that to me doesn't have the same stink on it like that's such a beautifully done show. This is Ryan Murphy. I mean, it is classically Ryan Murphy.
1:43:52 Dax Shepard? Uh huh.
1:43:53 Speaker 01 So.
1:43:53 Dax Shepard? It's salacious.
1:43:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:43:55 Dax Shepard? Yeah, scandalous.
1:43:56 Speaker 01 And yet here I am participating. But I guess what I I will say the difference is I'm watching it. I'm enjoying it. And I am very much aware, like this is all made up.
1:44:09 Dax Shepard? Right, right, right.
1:44:10 Speaker 01 None of this is real or or based on any real truths. So I can enjoy it and know it. I'm not at risk of getting like.
1:44:17 Dax Shepard? It's fanfiction.
1:44:19 Speaker 01 Yes, I'm not gonna start thinking about Daryl Hannah a specific way or any of these people a specific way based on it. So I guess maybe that's where I find a.
1:44:27 Dax Shepard? I wonder if I'll live long enough to be like a fringe character in a remake of some drama, you know?
1:44:34 Speaker 01 Okay, who would it be?
1:44:35 Dax Shepard? Um, I don't know. You'd have to go like one of my most famous friends. Like if they did a movie about Ashton and Mila, somehow I was like, I made a couple scenes.
1:44:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, you'd be there.
1:44:44 Dax Shepard? And then they painted me like.
1:44:45 Speaker 01 Era.
1:44:46 Dax Shepard? In cra- crazy.
1:44:49 Speaker 01 Well, then you'd be like, that's accurate.
1:44:50 Dax Shepard? As I just mentioned, I love snowmobiles and you can say whatever you want about me.
1:44:55 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah, like if they so if they like portrayed you as very dumb.
1:45:00 Dax Shepard? Uh huh.
1:45:01 Speaker 01 It would be like to service the Ashton story, right?
1:45:04 Dax Shepard? Uh huh.
1:45:05 Speaker 01 Which that was the point of this. She's a side character because the point is to get it, get him to Carolyn.
1:45:11 Dax Shepard? You want him to be with Carolyn.
1:45:13 Speaker 01 Exactly. So if they had you as like an idiot and it was to service some story for Ashton, like it would suck. It would suck. It would be like, that's not true at all.
1:45:26 Dax Shepard? Mm hmm, mm hmm.
1:45:27 Speaker 01 And now people think that about me and I'm alive. Like you're alive. I'm saying you would say like, and now people have this impression of me. I'm still a person out in the world.
1:45:36 Dax Shepard? Well, that is what ultimately kept. I mean, from getting to do the show, this best thing I've ever written, A False History of Darryl Hall.
1:45:43 Speaker 01 Oh, right.
1:45:44 Dax Shepard? And I had met with Darryl seven ti- you know, seven. I met with him several times and we got along great. And the conceit of the show is this is not his life.
1:45:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:45:53 Dax Shepard? But I'm gonna, I'm gonna explain this catalog of 40 hit songs.
1:45:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:45:58 Dax Shepard? In story and give them these fantastical origins.
1:46:01 Speaker 01 Wow, I love that.
1:46:03 Dax Shepard? While plotting this bigger arc of his life, which wasn't his, his life at all. And then the title of the show is gonna be A False History of Darryl Hall.
1:46:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
1:46:10 Dax Shepard? And, you know, somewhat understandably, he's like, you, you know, at the 11th hour, he's like, yeah, I just like, I'm afraid people won't distinguish that.
1:46:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, I understand.
1:46:19 Dax Shepard? What if it's huge and then he's dead and who knows what thing people.
1:46:23 Speaker 01 But it's literally in the title.
1:46:24 Dax Shepard? I know it's in the title. Yeah. I mean, look, I, I thought it was very clear and that there was nothing to it. And it would be very fun and such a fun and weird way to celebrate that amazing catalog.
1:46:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:46:35 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:46:36 Speaker 01 That sucks. I think in that ca- I understand your personal.
1:46:40 Dax Shepard? I'm gonna give the listener example of one of the episodes.
1:46:42 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:46:42 Dax Shepard? All right. Um, you know, the song, one on one, I wanna spit, I wanna play that game tonight. One on one.
1:46:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, I know. I know it.
1:46:53 Dax Shepard? Yeah. So one on one. So it's a beautiful love song. We all know this is a beautiful love song. But really in that episode, Darryl shows up to a show at the Roxy. They're gonna do this small thing for this like review thing. And as he shows up, he notices three guys unloading equipment from the bus and they're not the, um, roadies. And so he tries to stop them. It's three dudes stealing all the equipment and they jump him at the beginning of the episode.
1:47:20 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:47:21 Dax Shepard? And they need a song. Like, there's always a thing. He needs a song, blah, blah, blah. This, the whole rest of the episode, which is following the other grander arc of the thing. Then there's some kind of resolution. He hears a thing and then he's walking down the street at the end of the episode and he sees one of the guys that jumped him. And it's like, what? I wanna play that game tonight. And as you're listening, those lyrics, you realize, oh, it could also very much be about finding the dude and being so excited to finally take on one of them.
1:47:50 Speaker 01 That's great.
1:47:51 Dax Shepard? Yeah. So they all, all these things that you thought were about this, it's this exaggerated thing it really was about. And it was so fun to write.
1:47:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think you could have done it.
1:48:00 Dax Shepard? And now I'm just too old.
1:48:01 Speaker 01 What if, when he dies? That's even worse.
1:48:04 Dax Shepard? I wanted to play him. I it would be hard for me to watch someone else play him.
1:48:10 Speaker 01 Well.
1:48:10 Dax Shepard? They were both tall and blonde. And when this thing was had legs, I think I was forty when this was really in full.
1:48:16 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:48:17 Dax Shepard? Swing. And he was a little older.
1:48:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:48:19 Dax Shepard? He got famous.
1:48:21 Speaker 01 He still could.
1:48:22 Dax Shepard? I couldn't tell those songs because I'm fifty one and we know those songs were written in the eighties.
1:48:27 Speaker 01 Oh, well, can't you um?
1:48:30 Dax Shepard? And then I have to watch Justin, Justin, I'd have to watch Butler.
1:48:34 Speaker 01 Austin Butler.
1:48:35 Dax Shepard? Austin Butler do it. He would be my pick.
1:48:37 Speaker 01 What? No, that's a bad pick.
1:48:39 Dax Shepard? No, he's so handsome and tall and I met him, you know.
1:48:43 Speaker 01 I, yeah.
1:48:44 Dax Shepard? I was so smitten. Carly almost fell over.
1:48:46 Speaker 01 I know.
1:48:47 Dax Shepard? My brother said, oh, my God, you're Elvis. It was a whole thing.
1:48:50 Speaker 01 I remember. But I'm just saying, hold on, let me look up Daryl Hall.
1:48:54 Dax Shepard? In the eighties.
1:48:55 Speaker 01 Eighties.
1:48:56 Dax Shepard? Blue eyed soul.
1:48:57 Speaker 01 Okay, Austin Butler.
1:48:59 Dax Shepard? What's the matter?
1:49:00 Speaker 01 No.
1:49:01 Dax Shepard? Because?
1:49:02 Speaker 01 He, this guy is a real face.
1:49:05 Dax Shepard? Like me. Like a real, normal face.
1:49:09 Speaker 01 Why don't you use AI?
1:49:12 Dax Shepard? Like I could have played him.
1:49:13 Speaker 01 Yes, you definitely could have.
1:49:15 Dax Shepard? Had that hairdo.
1:49:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:49:16 Dax Shepard? I got the blue eyes.
1:49:17 Speaker 01 Okay, I don't think this, this is dead in the water. I think that.
1:49:21 Dax Shepard? Or I could play John Oates. What do you think?
1:49:25 Speaker 01 You could go either way. Um, but I think.
1:49:28 Dax Shepard? Payne, I wanted to payne you to.
1:49:30 Speaker 01 That would be fun.
1:49:31 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, I really wanted to payne you to play. Yeah, okay.
1:49:35 Speaker 01 Well.
1:49:35 Speaker 06 It looks like Yorma.
1:49:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. I think that you guys could do this and use the new AI technology to make you look younger, but it's still you. I, you know, Ben just sold a big company to Netflix.
1:49:53 Dax Shepard? Oh, no, yeah.
1:49:54 Speaker 01 This. So I think you could do this.
1:49:56 Dax Shepard? Okay, I'll do it.
1:49:57 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:49:58 Dax Shepard? That's bang on. That doesn't change how Daryl feels about it, but.
1:50:01 Speaker 01 Maybe times change.
1:50:03 Dax Shepard? Oh, the, the thing is, is by the way, I could do this. He's a public figure. So and, and, and there is a version where I could have done it without his permission, but I need the music. The whole show is a celebration of the music.
1:50:14 Speaker 01 Would you?
1:50:14 Dax Shepard? I wouldn't want to do it.
1:50:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:50:16 Dax Shepard? But the, the, there's no show without the music.
1:50:19 Speaker 01 Yeah. Did you? Ever think about doing it with another musical figure that would say yes to it?
1:50:27 Dax Shepard? Well, the reason I didn't is because, you know, I had this like four year obsession with Daryl Hall, Hall and Oates, but Daryl Hall. I just, I like, I, it was such an obsession that I was like, I'm being called to do something more than just listen to the music, which is how I came up with the idea. I'm like, oh, I want to be more involved with this music than just listening to it.
1:50:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:50:50 Dax Shepard? And I don't, I don't feel that way about the catalog of.
1:50:54 Speaker 01 Sabrina Carpenter.
1:50:56 Dax Shepard? Sabreins.
1:50:58 Speaker 06 You could play her still.
1:50:59 Dax Shepard? Brainy. Yeah, my window's closing of people I could play, you know, that's just, that's just a fact.
1:51:05 Speaker 01 A new, a new category is opening up.
1:51:07 Dax Shepard? But no one's very prolific in this period. Like no one's trying to watch the third act of a famous singer's life. You know, you want to see the rise.
1:51:17 Speaker 01 You can be in the, you're not in the flashbacks, but you're in the current day.
1:51:21 Dax Shepard? Oh, boy. Okay. So it's me, current day, and then Austin Butler when we flashback.
1:51:30 Speaker 01 Okay. I think we can do some facts now.
1:51:32 Dax Shepard? Oh, I've done, I, I Baron Holt's facts.
1:51:34 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:51:35 Dax Shepard? And I did his show.
1:51:36 Speaker 01 That's right.
1:51:37 Dax Shepard? Since he was on.
1:51:38 Speaker 01 And how was it?
1:51:39 Dax Shepard? So much fun. So much fun.
1:51:41 Speaker 01 You said you got caught.
1:51:44 Dax Shepard? I got a couple. Oh, I got several wrong. Is that what you mean?
1:51:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, but you said you thought you were, you were tricked on one.
1:51:50 Dax Shepard? Well, I was. He doesn't understand what anthropology is. Yeah. He got it confused with history, which is fine.
1:51:57 Speaker 01 Sure.
1:51:58 Dax Shepard? I did.
1:51:58 Speaker 01 Check that episode out.
1:51:59 Dax Shepard? I did end up getting it, even though I didn't really deserve it.
1:52:02 Speaker 01 That's true. My take on that was you extra deserve it because it's actually not your skill set.
1:52:10 Dax Shepard? Not only that, I didn't even give a great example to him when I was explaining why that wasn't anthropology. He's like, but isn't, wasn't, it's the study of man. I go, yeah, it's the study of man, but mostly the evolution to, you know, but, but really I was like, it's the study of man before we wrote and had written records of man. We don't need to, we don't need to do detective work.
1:52:28 Speaker 01 Man, it's the.
1:52:29 Dax Shepard? Historians.
1:52:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:52:31 Dax Shepard? Tell us what happened in those periods through the written record.
1:52:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:52:34 Dax Shepard? It's pre-written record that we're trying to figure out.
1:52:37 Speaker 01 Ouch.
1:52:37 Dax Shepard? Obviously it's not bothering me anymore.
1:52:40 Speaker 01 Clearly. Um, okay. The Moon River Fletch reference. Um, 1995 movie Fletch Chevy Chase.
1:52:49 Dax Shepard? Not 1995.
1:52:51 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. 1985. My eyes. Croons the song Moon River while undergoing a humiliating invasive rectal examination by a doctor.
1:53:00 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:53:00 Speaker 01 And there's a video.
1:53:01 Dax Shepard? Play it.
1:53:02 Speaker 05 Drop your shorts and bend over, Mr. Bar.
1:53:04 Dax Shepard? Here we go.
1:53:05 Speaker 05 Oh, no, really. We don't need to. I've, uh, we don't want to do that. So, you know, my kidneys feel a lot better in this position. Maybe it's just that I'm not doing any calisthenics. You know, if I did some sit-ups in the morning or bend over like this, I'd probably feel 100%
1:53:24 Speaker 05 Thank you, doc. Ever serve time? Breathe easy. Breathe easy.
1:53:29 Speaker 01 Oh, wow. There's more?
1:53:32 Speaker 05 Was able to get that, uh, policy. I know there's a history of cancer in the family. There is? Yeah. As a matter of fact, uh, you using the whole fist, doc?
1:53:42 Dax Shepard? Okay, that's enough.
1:53:45 Speaker 01 That's funny.
1:53:46 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:53:47 Speaker 01 I've never seen that movie.
1:53:48 Dax Shepard? You haven't? Well, I'm gonna show it to Lincoln if you want to join it. You know, it's in a three-way tie with my top comedies.
1:53:54 Speaker 01 I know you love it. What year did Chevy Chase's talk show start and how long did it run? 1993 on Fox. It was canceled after six weeks, 29 episodes. His deal was supposedly $3 million. It was the first late-night talk show on Fox since The Late Show hosted by Joan Rivers in 98, then Arsenio Hall and Ross Schaefer, and it was the last until 2006. Talk show with Spike Feresten debuted then. It got canceled because they promised five to six million viewers nightly, but delivered fewer than two. Also, the show's audience was generally misbehaved, and the chairwoman of Fox Broadcasting said, quote, "The show was uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch."
1:54:32 Dax Shepard? Oh, boy.
1:54:33 Speaker 01 Ouchie.
1:54:33 Dax Shepard? Not a great review. I didn't see it, so I don't have an opinion.
1:54:37 Speaker 01 Okay, um, SantaCon. Now, I'm gonna pull back the curtain here.
1:54:41 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:54:42 Speaker 01 We're doing some fact checks in advance.
1:54:44 Dax Shepard? Uh-huh.
1:54:45 Speaker 01 Which means I didn't pull these facts.
1:54:48 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:54:49 Speaker 01 SantaCon is an annual bar crawl where-
1:54:51 Dax Shepard? I'm confused.
1:54:52 Speaker 01 You'll see.
1:54:52 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:54:53 Speaker 01 SantaCon is an annual bar crawl where people dress as Santa in hundreds of cities around the world. It came to the US in 96 to Portland, and in 2013, it was in 300 cities globally. 30,000 people participated in the New York City 2012 event. In parentheses, I, Sophia.
1:55:10 Speaker 01 I'm embarrassed to say I have participated in it. In my defense, it happened to land on my 21st birthday.
1:55:16 Dax Shepard? Oh, how fun.
1:55:18 Speaker 01 So that is so fun.
1:55:20 Dax Shepard? Santa crawl.
1:55:21 Speaker 01 Santa Con.
1:55:22 Dax Shepard? Santa Con.
1:55:23 Speaker 01 Yes, she was.
1:55:24 Dax Shepard? I wonder what the arrest rate is. It might be the highest per capita of any distinguished group.
1:55:30 Speaker 01 I just, can you imagine seeing all these drunk Santas?
1:55:33 Dax Shepard? Peeing in their, their Santa pants and stuff.
1:55:35 Speaker 01 Do you think Sophia was wearing a Santa costume?
1:55:37 Dax Shepard? Yes, I do.
1:55:38 Speaker 01 Wow, or an elf.
1:55:40 Dax Shepard? Or Mrs. Claus.
1:55:41 Speaker 01 You probably gotta go with Santa.
1:55:42 Dax Shepard? Yeah, it's not Elf Con.
1:55:44 Speaker 01 Right, it's not.
1:55:46 Dax Shepard? It's not Mrs. Claus. We didn't even give her a first, although he doesn't have a first name, so.
1:55:49 Speaker 01 Santa.
1:55:50 Dax Shepard? That's his last name.
1:55:51 Speaker 01 No, Claus is his last name.
1:55:53 Dax Shepard? So sorry, so sorry, yes. Stand corrected.
1:55:56 Speaker 01 Well.
1:55:57 Dax Shepard? But does she have a name?
1:55:58 Speaker 01 Saint Claus, I mean.
1:55:59 Dax Shepard? Yeah, Saint Claus.
1:56:00 Speaker 01 But Santa Claus, and then she doesn't have one.
1:56:03 Dax Shepard? Mrs. Claus, her first name is Mrs. Yeah.
1:56:07 Speaker 01 What is the Dakota Johnson Tilda Swinton movie Luca directed? There are two, they're both in two.
1:56:15 Dax Shepard? Oh, my goodness.
1:56:16 Speaker 01 A Bigger Splash, which was in 2015, and Suspiria in 2018.
1:56:22 Dax Shepard? Have you seen either?
1:56:23 Speaker 01 No, but I did want to see Suspiria because they're like dancers and I think it's scary.
1:56:30 Speaker 06 Tom York did the soundtrack for Suspiria.
1:56:33 Speaker 01 Oh, cool.
1:56:35 Dax Shepard? You know who that is?
1:56:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:56:37 Dax Shepard? Oh.
1:56:37 Speaker 01 Um, he's a big musician.
1:56:39 Dax Shepard? Oh, my God.
1:56:39 Speaker 01 Wait, what, who is it?
1:56:41 Speaker 06 Radiohead, singer of Radiohead.
1:56:43 Dax Shepard? You say Tom Yorn?
1:56:44 Speaker 01 York.
1:56:44 Speaker 06 Tom York.
1:56:45 Dax Shepard? Okay, York, yeah.
1:56:46 Speaker 01 I knew it was a lead singer of a big band because Rob said that before.
1:56:51 Dax Shepard? Great. I, I like his independent stuff even more than Radiohead.
1:56:55 Speaker 01 Oh, wow.
1:56:55 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:56:56 Speaker 01 What was the, okay, what was the band that did Stereophonic?
1:57:04 Speaker 06 Oh, it was, uh, Will Butler, who was in Arcade Fire.
1:57:08 Speaker 01 Arcade Fire, okay, because ding ding ding, Sarah Pidgeon, who plays Carolyn Bissett Kennedy in Love Story, was in Stereophonic.
1:57:17 Dax Shepard? Oh, wow. Multi hyphenate.
1:57:20 Speaker 01 Yep. Um, what is the Ryan Murphy with two Ryan Murphy ding ding ding. Didn't even mean to. With two Coopers in it. She couldn't find a movie with two Coopers in it. Um, the, the Menendez story has Cooper Cock and Eric Menendez.
1:57:37 Dax Shepard? All right. Cause there's two Coopers in his, in Ike's movie.
1:57:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:57:41 Dax Shepard? Show, Running Point. There's two actors named Cooper.
1:57:44 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:57:45 Dax Shepard? I think, and I said, you got two Coopers. That's pretty rare.
1:57:48 Speaker 01 Oh, and he said, he said.
1:57:50 Dax Shepard? Bradley Cooper was in Ryan Murphy. He was in Nip Tuck.
1:57:54 Speaker 01 Oh, that's right.
1:57:55 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:57:56 Speaker 01 That's right. Early days. Now I think you, don't be mad at me because I didn't check this fact.
1:58:01 Dax Shepard? Okay.
1:58:02 Speaker 01 Okay. The fact is, did the government go to Lamborghini and ask them to make the tractors? Was it Ducati?
1:58:08 Dax Shepard? Well, not tractors, but military equipment. They were a tractor company that got asked to make military equipment.
1:58:13 Speaker 01 Okay. I'm just going to read what this says.
1:58:16 Speaker 01 No, Lamborghini trator- trattori is an agricultural machinery manufacturer founded in 1948. Lamborghini was founded in 1963 after Ferrucci Lamborghini had a fight with Enzo Ferrari about the faulty clutch in his Ferrari 250 GT. Maybe what Dax is talking about. Following World War II, the Italian government took control of Ducati and shifted them into motorcycle manufacturing, starting with the Cuciolo moped.
1:58:43 Dax Shepard? That's what I'm thinking of.
1:58:45 Speaker 01 Great.
1:58:45 Dax Shepard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's it.
1:58:48 Speaker 01 I love it when Sophia does the facts.
1:58:50 Dax Shepard? Yeah, it's great.
1:58:51 Speaker 01 You can't get even mad at me.
1:58:52 Dax Shepard? Yeah.
1:58:53 Speaker 01 Okay. Fun facts about capybaras. Biggest rodent in the world. Ew.
1:58:57 Dax Shepard? 150 pounds.
1:58:58 Speaker 01 Yep. Four feet long, two feet tall.
1:59:00 Dax Shepard? Four feet long.
1:59:01 Speaker 01 That's disgusting.
1:59:02 Dax Shepard? That's your height.
1:59:03 Speaker 01 Well, no.
1:59:04 Dax Shepard? It's more heavier than you. It's bigger than you.
1:59:06 Speaker 01 It is. It is heavier.
1:59:08 Dax Shepard? It's a rodent bigger than you.
1:59:09 Speaker 01 Ew. Okay. Found primarily in Brazil, Venezuela, Colombia, Argentina. Lives in rivers, lakes, marshes, flooded grassland. So they're great swimmers, not like me. They practice caprophagy. Capro- oh, eating their own poop. We know.
1:59:28 Dax Shepard? That's standard. Yeah.
1:59:30 Speaker 01 They can live in groups of up to a hundred. In some places you can have them as a pet.
1:59:37 Dax Shepard? Maybe I'll get one in Nashville. Rowman around the yard.
1:59:40 Speaker 01 Sophia added a little Tel Kaley Cuoco.
1:59:43 Dax Shepard? Oh, smart, smart.
1:59:45 Speaker 01 Oh, wow. It says supposedly there was something called a Jose Fortigazia monster, an extinct rodent species that may have weighed over a thousand pounds.
1:59:54 Dax Shepard? Oh, yes.
1:59:56 Speaker 01 Ding ding ding.
1:59:56 Dax Shepard? Wow.
1:59:57 Speaker 01 Probably right after Pangaea.
1:59:59 Dax Shepard? Probably in the megafauna era of the Pleistocene, when we had giant sloths and molly mammoths.
2:00:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:00:05 Dax Shepard? And, yeah.
2:00:06 Speaker 01 Probably. Was the caning of Michael Fay in Singapore because of chewing gum?
2:00:11 Dax Shepard? Oh, you're right.
2:00:12 Speaker 01 No. American student teenager Michael Fay did violate the vandalism act, but not with chewing gum. He was arrested for stealing road signs and vandalizing 18 cars over a 10-day period in September 1993. He pled guilty but later rescinded his plea to the vandalizing but not the road signs to avoid caning. His sentence was reduced from six to four can- can strikes?
2:00:36 Dax Shepard? Can strikes?
2:00:37 Speaker 01 She forgot an E.
2:00:38 Dax Shepard? Ooh.
2:00:39 Speaker 01 And it was carried out in 1994. He also was sentenced to four months in jail and a fine of $3,500 at the time equivalent to $2,230. The student who pleaded not guilty was sentenced to eight months in prison and 12 strokes. Interestingly, many months after returning to the US, he suffered burns to his hands and face after a butane incident and cited butane abuse in his rehabil- in his rehabilitation program. He says that snuffing butane made him forget what happened in Singapore.
2:01:07 Dax Shepard? Ooh.
2:01:07 Speaker 01 In 1992, Singapore did ban the sale, import, and manufacture of chewing gum to reduce vandalism in litter. Chewing gum is not legal in Singapore, but selling or importing can lead to fines in the thousands, still true today. Oh, I'm so sorry. Chewing gum is not illegal in Singapore.
2:01:24 Dax Shepard? Oh, it's not?
2:01:25 Speaker 01 Selling or importing can lead to fines in the thousands, still true today.
2:01:29 Dax Shepard? Okay, so you can't get it. You can't buy it.
2:01:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:01:32 Dax Shepard? So it's, but it's...
2:01:33 Speaker 01 So it's virtually non- it's like tobacco Easter egg for something else, like another episode.
2:01:39 Dax Shepard? Yeah, but I'm, I'm really glad my mother and I were still outlaws and smuggled gum in and chewed it.
2:01:45 Speaker 01 I'm, I'm happy.
2:01:46 Dax Shepard? Also, you present me with jail time versus caning, cane away.
2:01:50 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
2:01:50 Dax Shepard? Right?
2:01:51 Speaker 01 I agree.
2:01:51 Dax Shepard? Yeah, let's get caning.
2:01:53 Speaker 01 But I don't want any of it.
2:01:54 Dax Shepard? No.
2:01:55 Speaker 01 I just want to be clear.
2:01:56 Dax Shepard? But I'd prefer it to incarceration.
2:01:59 Speaker 01 Yeah. Um, that's it. Great job, Sophia, on the facts.
2:02:02 Dax Shepard? Love it. Appreciate it. And we love Ike Barinholtz.
2:02:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, we sure do.
2:02:07 Dax Shepard? Continue to love him. And he'll be back.
2:02:09 Speaker 01 He'll always be back.
2:02:09 Dax Shepard? First, we can count on it.
2:02:11 Speaker 01 All right.
2:02:11 Dax Shepard? All right. Love you.
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