The Venmo Scam! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Blueprint: For a limited time only, our listeners get 20% off + free shipping at https://blueprint.bryanjohnson.com by using code GARBAGE at checkout. Ultra: Don't sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code GARBAGE at https://takeultra.com! Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Gang, let me tell ya, Portland, Maine, Cleveland, Ohio, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the boys are coming. We're coming heavy. Grab the squad, come play a little AYG, let's have a fantastic time.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you haven't been to a live show, they're absolutely a great time. Ask any of them.

• 0:18H. Foley?

  Anybody!

• 0:19Speaker 01

  Any of the homies or the bozos.

• 0:20H. Foley?

  Vet us, vet us!

• 0:22Speaker 01

  We're also gonna be at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, July 10th. Get your tickets, that's gonna sell out. Shout out to Down the Shore, and then the Comedy Works. We're doing a weekend at the Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado, July 16th to the 18th. Get your tickets, we love yous.

• 0:35H. Foley?

  See you there. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:43Speaker 01

  You ain't lying!

• 0:43H. Foley?

  It's that little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's got to be classy.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Yeah!

• 0:49H. Foley?

  Or if they're just a big ol' piece of trash.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Ta-da-da!

• 0:51H. Foley?

  Yes, I am your host, A. Trolley, coming at ya on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties and Ndua Edition. She's upstairs playing with Flex Seal.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00H. Foley?

  Got a whole case of it. Said she wants to make a boat just out of Flex Seal.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 1:04H. Foley?

  No frame or nothing.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 1:06H. Foley?

  What?

• 1:06Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:07H. Foley?

  You son of a bitch!

• 1:08Speaker 01

  Okay, alright, okay. Sounds like someone's been huffing that Flex Seal.

• 1:13H. Foley?

  I was gonna go with the Iceman, that she was upstairs listening to Drake. Iceman's out.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 1:18H. Foley?

  But I said, "No, take a swing, make 'em laugh." Do it right back in my face, didn't ya?

• 1:23Speaker 01

  You're crazy.

• 1:26H. Foley?

  Flex Seal?

• 1:27Speaker 01

  You just got-

• 1:28H. Foley?

  That's just funny!

• 1:29Speaker 01

  Well, me and Diesel were just talking about drywall patches, that's where you got that?

• 1:32H. Foley?

  No, it's not. I'll tell you something about that, I invented that 15 years ago. I used to put a piece of loose leaf over the holes in the walls, and then paint it over.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  That's-

• 1:40H. Foley?

  That's old shit.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:41H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from across the table, as we call a family episode.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:46H. Foley?

  Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50H. Foley?

  Kinda. Kevin James Ryan, everybody!

• 1:53Speaker 01

  Get used to it, gang, we got a lot of families coming up. What up, gang? Shout out to ya as always. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify and a board of charts, baby. Uh, then obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You can go over there, you get all your bonus friggin' content. Some of you might not know what Patreon is. It's a goddamn app you can download, you can use the browser, you can watch the video, you can do anything you friggin' want over there.

• 2:25H. Foley?

  It's a goddamn app.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Uh, well, I don't, I've never, I've never even-

• 2:30H. Foley?

  Or a website.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying, I'm a website guy. Do you ever like, I mean, I do this with Luke of like, I'll be, I'll be doing stuff and then not realize I've been doing it wrong a lot of, you know, it's just like how I learned it or whatever.

• 2:42H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  I don't know, just stuff online where he's like, "That's how you do it?" I'm like, "Yeah, I don't know, it works."

• 2:47H. Foley?

  He used the word "sell" the other day. That freaked me out.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:51H. Foley?

  Sell.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:52H. Foley?

  I've never had a laptop-

• 2:52Speaker 01

  Did you ever hear of "excel"?

• 2:54H. Foley?

  Excel?

• 2:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:55H. Foley?

  Like Excel in something? No, Excel, spreadsheets.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:59H. Foley?

  Yeah, I know spreadsheets.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  "Cell's in Excel."

• 3:00H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Excel, "sell, sell."

• 3:04H. Foley?

  What? What are you fucking with me?

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Well, what do you mean? I'm saying the words, you're like, "He used the word 'sell.'"

• 3:08H. Foley?

  Sell like C.E.L.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. A lot else, unpack your adjectives over there.

• 3:14H. Foley?

  Hold on.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:15H. Foley?

  I never had a lap-

• 3:16Speaker 01

  I don't think we started.

• 3:18H. Foley?

  Why is it so hot in here? You hot?

• 3:19Speaker 01

  I mean-

• 3:20H. Foley?

  I never had a laptop. And then the phone got fucked up and I had to go to the fucking, you ever see what Instagram looks like on a laptop?

• 3:28Speaker 01

  No, I can't say how-

• 3:30H. Foley?

  It's freaky. I saw that a couple of weeks ago.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Whoa, a fucking big mouth for you. Saw Instagram on the fucking desktop.

• 3:38H. Foley?

  Freaky. Can't do shit on there. Well, you can send messages.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  I'm sure you figured that out.

• 3:44H. Foley?

  Can't share nothing.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 3:47H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, they want you on a phone.

• 3:49H. Foley?

  Is that what they do? They want you on a phone?

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:51H. Foley?

  Huh. Or mobile tablet.

• 3:55H. Foley?

  What?

• 3:55Speaker 01

  A tablet.

• 3:57H. Foley?

  Mobile tablet.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  No, it's not a mobile tablet, it doesn't have wheels on it. Fucking bozo. I mean, you're six kinds of stupid.

• 4:04H. Foley?

  That's not nice.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  It's true. Sometimes the truth is... What's that for? Oh, Jackie Moon. Maybe she didn't go to heaven. What? Sometimes the truth is Jackie.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  I wanted to get into something. I was a little, uh... We, uh... I briefly ran this by you. I, you know, we didn't have a chance to debrief the sit. But, uh, we were out there in La La Land a couple of weeks ago.

• 4:29H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's right, I was out there.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  And I found myself in quite a predicament of a guy of my caliber typically isn't in.

• 4:37H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  I had gone out, I had left the house.

• 4:40H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  I didn't have my wallet on me, I just had my phone.

• 4:43H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  I wanted to make-

• 4:45H. Foley?

  You hear about this?

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Oh, you didn't hear about... Lu, okay, so Luke didn't hear about this. Right, 'cause Luke wasn't there.

• 4:51H. Foley?

  Talk about lunching it.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  Right, and we just never... We never, like, you were just like, "That's crazy." Um-

• 4:58H. Foley?

  I'm sitting next to the smog strangler. Fucking freak.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  I leave the house, I'm just... I'm in what I slept in, essentially. I slept in that t-shirt and a pair of undies, and I put a pair of shorts on.

• 5:08H. Foley?

  You gotta come real correct to do this.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Right, and I just wasn't correct. I think I had shoes on with no socks. I, like, left the house.

• 5:17H. Foley?

  The casual guy?

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, just, but like, I didn't look... My best isn't great, my best is this.

• 5:23H. Foley?

  But you don't look deranged.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  No, by no means deranged, but like, it was the t-shirt-

• 5:28H. Foley?

  Homely, sure.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  I just wasn't my best version of myself. Little sleep... And I'm at a gas station, and I was on the phone with somebody. I was walking to the gas-

• 5:39H. Foley?

  A payphone?

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's going for record. No, I'm on the... Now I... This is what I realized, I didn't for like, I was on the phone with somebody for like 15 minutes out front of the gas station. And now I just look like a gas station guy.

• 5:54H. Foley?

  You were trashing me.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  I was.

• 5:56H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  No, no, not trashing, we were discussing some of your behavior, for sure.

• 6:00H. Foley?

  You and this person on the phone?

• 6:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:02H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  You know who it was?

• 6:03H. Foley?

  I assume it was your wife?

• 6:04Speaker 01

  It was not.

• 6:05H. Foley?

  Your brother?

• 6:06Speaker 01

  No.

• 6:06H. Foley?

  My brother?

• 6:07Speaker 01

  No, what? My dad? You got a phone to heaven, maybe you didn't make it to heaven, Eric. Oh, you say that. It was someone who just left the house.

• 6:17H. Foley?

  Oh, Mr. Chamberlain.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. I gotta go. What was that all?

• 6:21H. Foley?

  I always call him for a yes man when you need him.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  He called me.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  You're the only guy who acts like a complete insane person and is like, "Oh, yeah, you need a yes man?" Fucking throw it on me.

• 6:36H. Foley?

  I love you, big guy.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:38H. Foley?

  Shout out to that Colin Chamberlain.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  So I'm on the phone. I'm hanging out at a gas station for 15 minutes on a phone call. Right? And I go in.

• 6:49H. Foley?

  Suspicious.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  I just, I for sure looked like a guy hanging out.

• 6:53H. Foley?

  Which, I would have to guess that phone call at times might have been slightly animated.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Yes. Honestly, I wasn't that upset, but it was, yeah, I wasn't, you know, we weren't, there was a lot of... I looked like a fucking guy who, I looked like, did you ever see an episode of Cops where they pull up and the guy's out in front of the gas station?

• 7:14H. Foley?

  Yeah. Who is it? It's him.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  It's him. It's clearly him. That guy's got no car. He had a gas station, no car. What the fuck you doing?

• 7:21H. Foley?

  For sure.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Uh, I'm just at the gas station. I'm on the phone. I go in. I wanna make a purchase. I don't have... Uh, alls I have is my phone, which I'm gonna do Apple Pay. And it said cash only. Right? So I go in, the inside of the store is as big as this table, right? It's literally, you walk in, there's one center stand, not even an aisle, just a center stand, one refrigerator. So I go around, there's a, I go, "Maybe I can tap to pay an ATM machine." Like, I don't know if they have those.

• 7:53H. Foley?

  When you said that, I thought that was genius. I wonder if they have that?

• 7:56Speaker 01

  I'm sure they do. This was one of those old ones that you've seen that says like cash bank at the top, you know what I mean? It's the old big gray plastic one. This thing's barely digital.

• 8:05H. Foley?

  And I would imagine this establishment doesn't have five star customer service.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  It does not. I'm talking about four inches of bulletproof glass. If that's five star, then yeah, I'm just probably... This stuff was rated for a fucking AK, dude. We're in a bad part of town. I looked, yeah. So I get in there, there's a guy in a sweater vest, I believe going to or from church. Right?

• 8:29Speaker 01

  Sunday, it was Sunday morning.

• 8:31H. Foley?

  Which I had just been to mass.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Did not help.

• 8:36H. Foley?

  And I'm the crazy one.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  So, uh, I get there, so then I go, "This is a long shot." But the guy's getting a bunch of twenties out of the machine, and he clocks me clocking him.

• 8:48H. Foley?

  Of course, you're deranged.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  God, Steve, I'm like...

• 8:52H. Foley?

  You're just sitting here looking at it like it's slices of turkey coming out of the fridge.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Well, you gotta think what he sees. He sees, he pulls up, I'm in the parking lot.

• 9:01H. Foley?

  Talking on the phone.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  Over by the dumpster. Like, you know what I mean?

• 9:05Speaker 02

  Got a Black and Mild in your hand.

• 9:08H. Foley?

  I told this fat motherfucker.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, so I don't think that he... So he sees that. He sees me for what I am on the true, you know what I mean?

• 9:20H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  He's got like x-ray glasses, be like, "Who is this guy? This guy belongs at a gas station hanging out." So I go, "Hey, man," I lead. I lead. Now my idea is, I got Venmo, I got cash, I got, you know, I got digital currency, right?

• 9:38H. Foley?

  How do Indian guys get you?

• 9:41Speaker 01

  I go, right, so I go, "Hey, man."

• 9:44H. Foley?

  Why, hold on, has he completed his transaction, or is the money still coming out?

• 9:49Speaker 01

  I would say the money, there's a lot of twenties, and now I look, dude, I just...

• 9:53H. Foley?

  What's he doing?

• 9:54Speaker 01

  He's nervous that I'm behind him, for sure.

• 9:57H. Foley?

  No, what's he getting twenties?

• 9:58Speaker 01

  I don't know. I think he needed to take out, because it was cash only. The machine was down. So, so he needed cash, and maybe he was getting ga... I don't, I don't know. He had a lot of cash, I don't know what he was doing, but he had money.

• 10:11H. Foley?

  Kind of work you do.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  You're hiring by any chance? Um, so I go, "Hey, you know, this sounds crazy."

• 10:21H. Foley?

  Later.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  Which right there, right there.

• 10:24H. Foley?

  Listen, I've opened conversations with that, it usually ends right there.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 10:28H. Foley?

  It sounds crazy, because it is crazy.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Well, so what? Alright, so then we, let's workshop this to come up with the best pitch. What, I go, "Hey, man, I know this sounds crazy, they're not taking cash, or it's cash only, as you know, we're in the same, you put yourself in the same problem with them, you know what I mean?"

• 10:45Speaker 02

  Were your hands moving like that, too?

• 10:47H. Foley?

  Yeah, you just look crazy saying that.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  Psycho.

• 10:56H. Foley?

  This guy's not taking cash.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  I'm on speakerphone the whole time.

• 11:00H. Foley?

  Do you know Foley?

• 11:02Speaker 01

  He's crazy.

• 11:05H. Foley?

  I'm not, my buddy's crazy.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  You should get a load of, you think I look bad, you should get a load of him.

• 11:12H. Foley?

  What the fuck?

• 11:13Speaker 01

  I stink dude.

• 11:15H. Foley?

  Be funny if I walked in dressed to the nines. That's a sin these days, isn't it?

• 11:19Speaker 01

  Get your hands off him. Henry, it's me. Give me 20. Trying to get a pack of heaters here.

• 11:25H. Foley?

  Officer, I don't know this man.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  So I go, hey man, I know it sounds crazy, I was, can I Venmo you for 20 bucks?

• 11:34H. Foley?

  First of all, you told me this. You, that's gotta be, I'll give you 40 for 20. You gotta sweeten that. You're trying to come with a 50/50, no exchange rate deal? You're nuts.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  I, I see what you're saying, but hold on, I think, so let me just, I think the 40 sounds too scammy. That's like fucking, you know. That's, that's like my dog ate my homework, no one's buying that. That's as old as time.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  If the guy was dressed like Kippy, I would say lead with that, but he seems like an upstanding citizen, you wanna make this seem like a square deal.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, if he needed, he got, don't need the 20s, he got, he got hundreds of 20s in front of him, he don't need them. That guy's flush with cash.

• 12:15H. Foley?

  Nice sweater.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, what the fuck? So. I just realized too afterwards. It was a bad showing for the kid.

• 12:24H. Foley?

  Took a shit in the middle of the parking lot.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  Start sipping gas.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  If you swallow it quick, it doesn't hurt you. I, um, so I ask him and he goes, and as I saw, I wasn't getting a yeah. I said, buddy, feel, I know it sounds crazy, feel free to say no. And he went, nah, and yeah, I went, dap, dap.

• 12:47H. Foley?

  Feel free to say no, I'm not gonna hurt you or nothing. Kill your family.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna hurt you physically. Uh, I said, feel free to say no. He goes, no, no, no. I mean, at that point, I'm, I was okay.

• 13:00H. Foley?

  But did you feel like you had made some, some connection as a human? Like, I would, I just can't do it. Or was he like, this guy's whack?

• 13:08Speaker 01

  He was nervous. He, I had made this guy, because he didn't say real words. He was, ah.

• 13:15H. Foley?

  Oh, I've been there.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:17H. Foley?

  I hate that.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  So I get it. I'm, you know, I, I essentially cornered him. I like, in, I'm not real, but like in real life, I walked into a small vestibule and cornered the guy.

• 13:26H. Foley?

  Stop hunching like Nosferatu when you tell a story. Then I had him.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  That's where I got you right where I want you. Um, so then I go, hey, no worries. And I leave and then right-

• 13:36H. Foley?

  That's cool. Don't worry about it.

• 13:36Speaker 01

  Right across the street, there was like another convenience store. So I went, okay.

• 13:40H. Foley?

  So you sprinted over there.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  So now the guy sees me. So I, uh, I get my stuff and I'm, now I'm crossing that, I'm crossing like fair, I'm crossing like a big street. And the guy-

• 13:51H. Foley?

  So in, hold on, but in his head for a second, he saw you, it didn't work here. I'm gonna run across, see if anybody else is in the ATM.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  Uh huh. And at the whole, he's watching me. And then I'm crossing the street and he's at the light and I see him looking at his boy who's in the car and they're giving me like the, don't make eye contact.

• 14:07H. Foley?

  Wait, had you gotten your, your heaters over at the, or?

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, over, yeah. And now I'm crossing, but I don't, it's not like I'm carrying a bag of groceries.

• 14:14H. Foley?

  I would've got a soda or something to show. See, fuckface?

• 14:17Speaker 01

  I got money.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  And I'm walking out and he's doing the like the, like, they had talked about me.

• 14:25H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  Before they saw me again and he gave the, don't, there's, there he is. Don't look at him. Guy.

• 14:29H. Foley?

  Welcome to my daily life.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  Well, yeah. I empathize with you, my friend. But what's, okay.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  I was jammed up due to circumstance. What is that pitch?

• 14:41H. Foley?

  I don't-

• 14:41Speaker 01

  It's tough. It's a hard pitch.

• 14:43H. Foley?

  2026, bad neighborhood in LA. You're not getting it. What, what are you looking at?

• 14:49Speaker 01

  No, I'm just scratching my face.

• 14:50H. Foley?

  Freak?

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm the freak. I'm scratching my face. You go, what, what, what is it? I'm, I'm the nervous one. Um, yeah, that, I don't know. Luke, what would you, someone have to say to you as you're, you know?

• 15:02H. Foley?

  Nothing.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  You've never been on the wrong side. You've never been down and out on the wrong side of the track.

• 15:06H. Foley?

  There is nothing.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  You have and one shorts on? You're trying to scam me.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  They weren't and one shorts. It might've been a bathing suit. They weren't good shorts. Uh, they might've been, they might've been North Face shorts.

• 15:17H. Foley?

  A little grease on your knuckles?

• 15:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:19H. Foley?

  Or stealing carburetors all night?

• 15:22Speaker 01

  I'm trying to sell a catalytic converter.

• 15:25H. Foley?

  Somebody in his generation, of his astute, they're not fucking getting involved with that at all.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  Scamming's so big right now, too.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  Okay, I know, but what's the scam to him? I pay with someone else's credit card?

• 15:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  Like if he, if it goes through to his Venmo.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  I, of course, it's fine.

• 15:44H. Foley?

  They can, they can do that where it looks like it went through but didn't go through.

• 15:47Speaker 01

  Now, I was gonna go, if he was on the fence about it, I was gonna go, also, sir, I'm a pretty prominent comedy po- comedy and podcaster. I didn't. If he, if I could've got him over the edge, I would've pulled out.

• 16:01H. Foley?

  You know Tim Dillon? Are you Tim? No, I'm not Tim Dillon.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  That would've helped.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  That would've helped. I would've been like, dude, here's my Instagram page. But then you're crazy.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  I'm not there.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  As the guy in the sweater getting twenties out of the ATM.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  What's that guy doing in a bad part of town anyway?

• 16:18H. Foley?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Give me a regular, give me a guy from that part of town.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  But I definitely don't want to be a part of your world.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  Sure. I get that. You stop by for gas and a sweet treat and all you send. I'm just gonna always be a dirtbag. I can't.

• 16:31H. Foley?

  I couldn't believe that story.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  I hold it together, but every couple of months, I break and it's just like, that's not that crazy to me. But I realize that's what a gas station guy says.

• 16:44H. Foley?

  In a different setting, you do that in the burbs, something like that. Hey, I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't know if my dad, my dad might give you a ten. I just, they, people are just, their radar is so up. They don't realize how you're screwing them, but they know you are.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  I get, I understand that.

• 17:00H. Foley?

  Right.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  But is I a hundred percent? But isn't, don't I get some leeway with cash only? Like, you gotta give me, like, I pulled over, we're in a digital currency world, and you're operating in a cash only, like, you gotta give me some sort of leeway there of like... Right? Alright. Alright.

• 17:20H. Foley?

  I don't know, maybe you're hanging out there all day.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  I know. Maybe I realize it's cash only and go, "I can pull my scam here."

• 17:25H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  All day long.

• 17:26H. Foley?

  What's the guy behind the counter say?

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Oh, he had bigger problems. He didn't. That didn't cross his radar. You also didn't set yourself up for success. I did. That dude, he's such a fucking rich kid. You didn't practice the Dempsey 3Ds to success. Dedication.

• 17:44H. Foley?

  You gotta sing.

• 17:45Speaker 01

  Determination.

• 17:46H. Foley?

  Tell a joke. Something.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  And digital currency. Um, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. What? Write in. Let me know. I know I misplayed that 100%, but I don't know how to play it.

• 17:59H. Foley?

  You walk the fuck back to the house and get your wallet.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 18:04H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Well, no, I just went to the next store that was a couple of blocks away.

• 18:08H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, there you go. Yeah, keep it moving.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  But I also didn't know that part of town. I didn't know what direction. I was just, you know.

• 18:15H. Foley?

  Mr. International Business Man, huh?

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Man. That's how you gotta move, daddy. You gotta keep 'em guessing at all times. Okay. Guessing. Keep 'em guessing.

• 18:24H. Foley?

  Kevin, tell me about Blueprint.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  Ooh, Blueprint.

• 18:27H. Foley?

  Now, listen, we're both getting older.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 18:29H. Foley?

  We both want to live as long as we can.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 18:32H. Foley?

  Uh, there's a lot of supplements and things like that out on the market.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 18:36H. Foley?

  And I'm not the most educated man.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Uh uh.

• 18:39H. Foley?

  When I go looking around, shopping around, I don't really know what I'm looking for. And sometimes when I Google something and I look it up, I get more confused.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 18:48H. Foley?

  But then, something like Blueprint comes across. That's very self-explanatory.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 18:54H. Foley?

  You know exactly what you're getting into.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 18:56H. Foley?

  I want to improve my cognitive performance. I want to improve my mood, my focus, my sleep, my cellular resilience, and I want to age healthily.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 19:05H. Foley?

  Healthy.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  Yes. Healthy aging.

• 19:08H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Uh, it's got ingredients like magnesium, uh, glycine, creatine, and more. Blueprint is third-party tested for purity and toxins like heavy metals, which are very bad.

• 19:17H. Foley?

  No good.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  Learning all this new stuff. Listen, I've started my, uh, I'm trying to age more gracefully and put myself in a better position. I've talked about it on the show. And, uh, if you- You know, the founder, Brian Johnson, he's been a very public figure. If you spend any time online, you've seen him. The guy's basically trying to live forever, or at least age better than the rest of us. He knows, for running one of the most measured longevity experiments in the world, tracking biomarkers, and he's publishing the data publicly. It's the same experiment, first mindset, is what led to Blueprint. Blueprint is what Brian Johnson takes every morning, and he's finally sharing the formula with the rest of us. Blueprint doesn't just make longevity mix, they also offer essential capsules,

• 20:00Speaker 01

  high polyphenol, olive oil, which I heard was great, omega-3, collagen peptides, and more, all designed around the same data-driven philosophy. Right now, science-backed, precision-dosed, no BS. For a limited time, our listeners get 20% off plus free shipping at blueprint.bryanjohnson.com by using code GARBAGE at checkout. That's code GARBAGE at blueprint.bryanjohnson.com for 20% off. After you purchase, they're gonna ask you how you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them the boys send you.

• 20:30H. Foley?

  Kevin, let's talk about Ultra.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  Woo, Ultra, Ultra, Ultra.

• 20:33H. Foley?

  Talking about Ultra Blue Raz.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:34H. Foley?

  Talking about nicotine-free, caffeine-free. We're talking about a cleaner, smoother energy that boosts you more than caffeine.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 20:42H. Foley?

  An amino acid promoting calm, energy, and attentiveness. I like that, attentiveness.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:48H. Foley?

  An nootropic for enhanced mental processing. Do yourself a favor, get a little Ultra in your life, you know what I'm saying?

• 20:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you ever woken up and immediately needed a nicotine pouch or a cup of coffee, and you're jonesing, and just to feel like, get your head on straight and feel like a human, that's it. There's not enough cup of coffee and pouches or energy drinks. You need to stop, you're just gonna keep stepping all over each other with this stuff.

• 21:10H. Foley?

  Stop the insanity.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  Yes. They cause you to feel anxiety, you can feel on edge, you feel your heart racing. I've done it all, too much caffeine, too much nicotine, it jams you up. And right now, Ultra partnered with leading neuroscientists to design these pouches. They're clinically proven nootropics and adaptogens to deliver immediate focus and smooth energy that lasts one to two hours. More specifically, they use Infinity PX, a cleaner, smoother energy boost than caffeine. L-theanine, an amino acid promoting calm.

• 21:37H. Foley?

  That's good stuff now.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  Energy and attentiveness.

• 21:39H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Alpha-GPC, a nootropic for enhanced mental processing. And vitamins B6 and B12 for balance, smooth energy. A little B12 will get ya. It's clean, plant-powered pouches designed to sharpen your mind and lift your energy all day without caffeine, nicotine, or crash, baby. Um, Foley said he's a blue raz kinda guy.

• 22:00H. Foley?

  Uh, like a blue raz?

• 22:02Speaker 01

  He likes a blue raz.

• 22:03H. Foley?

  You got cool mint, you got wintergreen, tropical, watermelon.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  I'm a watermelon man through and through. Ultra is the ultimate guilt free pouch, delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use the code garbage. You get 15% off at takeultra.com. That's takeultra.com for 50% off with the code garbage. After you purchase, they're gonna ask you how you heard about them. Tell them the boys sent you and support the show. We love you. Back to the show.

• 22:26H. Foley?

  Back to the show.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  Anywho, we got a Gosh darn Family episode on our hands, guys. As you know, when you join the old Patreon, we'll answer your garbage question on the air, baby.

• 22:38H. Foley?

  15,000 strong.

• 22:39Speaker 01

  Woo, doggy, and just drop that, uh, video over there.

• 22:43H. Foley?

  Paintball video.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  Paintball video. Also, the boys are on tour. Get your tickets. We're coming to Portland, Maine. Small club. Those are two shows.

• 22:50H. Foley?

  Cannot wait for that.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Two or three shows are already sold out over there. Uh, then we're going to Cleveland for the weekend. Weekend show. All of Ohio. Get the, we're not coming back to Ohio this year. That's the Ohio shows. Get them tickets. Well, people, I mean, Ohio's small and they're like, can you come to Toledo and Dayton? It's like, Cleveland's the best we can do.

• 23:09H. Foley?

  That's right.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  Right?

• 23:10H. Foley?

  Hilarities.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, shout out to Hilarities. Yeah. Um, and then, uh, we have Denver as well. Denver Commodores. Those shows are gonna fucking sell out. So get those tickets. And Atlantic City, the boys are going down a friggin' shirt.

• 23:20H. Foley?

  Cavs just moved to the, uh, next round of the playoffs there.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 23:23H. Foley?

  Playing the Knicks.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  Very nice.

• 23:25H. Foley?

  Pretty heated.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:26H. Foley?

  Catching games.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  This has been NBA Corner with H. Foley. Uh, all right, let's see here.

• 23:33H. Foley?

  Now to Luke with traffic.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  Luke would be the finance guy.

• 23:37H. Foley?

  Oh, he would be.

• 23:38Speaker 01

  Sell.

• 23:40H. Foley?

  How is the market doing, Luke? Do you know off the top of your head?

• 23:42Speaker 02

  It's actually, it's pretty good right now.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Bitcoin's up. I know that much. My boy's back. How you doing? Wait till that number.

• 23:48H. Foley?

  Should've showed the guy.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  Wait till that number comes in. I'm fucking putting in my walking papers. I'm out. Once that hits a thousand, I'm out.

• 23:54H. Foley?

  Should've showed that guy, uh...

• 23:55Speaker 01

  My Coinbase account.

• 23:57H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  That can be all fabricated nowadays with AI.

• 24:00H. Foley?

  Sure it is.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  Um, all right, let's see here. This one's from Johnny Clamps. Great name. I don't know what it means, but great fucking name. I love it. We're a family of this, where like, my brother's Dan, but he's Danny.

• 24:15H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:15Speaker 01

  Tom's would be Tommy, Joe's would be Joey's.

• 24:18H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  Mike would be Mikey's, like, the younger Mikes would be Mikey, yeah.

• 24:22H. Foley?

  Although, I have a younger cousin, Michael, that we only call him, he's not a Mikey, call him Michael.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Was his dad Mike? No.

• 24:31H. Foley?

  No, his dad was, uh...

• 24:33Speaker 01

  A lady.

• 24:36H. Foley?

  His dad is a different name, he's named after his grandfather, who was a Mike.

• 24:39Speaker 01

  Okay. Because Michael, my cousin Michael, he's either Mikey or Michael.

• 24:44H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  But that was because it was Uncle, there was two Mikes, Big Mike, or Big Mike and Little Mike, then Big Mike became Big Mike, and Little Mike became Big Mike. Anywho, just getting married, can't wait for the wedding, shout out Mikey, you better send him a fucking check, no, you're not gonna get it.

• 24:57H. Foley?

  You don't think so?

• 24:58Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 24:58H. Foley?

  Mikey, what the fuck?

• 25:00Speaker 01

  You've met him four times?

• 25:02H. Foley?

  He loves me, I'm a goddamn half his celebrity over here.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  Don't go to the gas station and try to ask for money then, because you will be embarrassed.

• 25:10H. Foley?

  You gotta be shitting me.

• 25:11Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 25:12H. Foley?

  Where's it at, is it down there?

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, northeast Philly somewhere.

• 25:15H. Foley?

  Is it?

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 25:16H. Foley?

  Spring?

• 25:17Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 25:18H. Foley?

  Coming up next year?

• 25:19Speaker 01

  I just got to save the date, I don't know though.

• 25:21H. Foley?

  The same date?

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:23H. Foley?

  Huh, yeah, I guess I'll go fuck my...

• 25:25Speaker 01

  You didn't get one?

• 25:27H. Foley?

  No, I didn't get one.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Maybe it got switched up in the mail.

• 25:29H. Foley?

  Hmm, since I've changed addresses.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  Went to the old address, you never know. I'll put in a good word for you, you should send a gift regardless.

• 25:38H. Foley?

  What?

• 25:40Speaker 01

  I mean, you're publicly begging to get invited to the wedding, the least you could do is give a gift.

• 25:46H. Foley?

  It's ridiculous. Will there be hoagie dip there?

• 25:50Speaker 01

  Probably, I think it might be, it might be a pretty classy affair.

• 25:52H. Foley?

  Is that right?

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Probably not.

• 25:54H. Foley?

  But I don't wanna go.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  I think it's gonna be at the Boys Club. Um...

• 26:00H. Foley?

  What's that?

• 26:01Speaker 01

  I grew up at, uh, Tarzdale Boys Club.

• 26:05H. Foley?

  Like, the Boys and Girls Club?

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was the Boys Club, the Girls Club, the Ladies Club. It's real fucking, they played old school down. Northeast Philly's still stuck in 1972, I don't know if you've ever been there.

• 26:16H. Foley?

  But they have, like, gyms and shit like that at the Boys?

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's just like a rec center, but it was called the Boys Club.

• 26:20H. Foley?

  Is that where it's gonna be?

• 26:21Speaker 01

  No. I was joking. There's a men's league on the other half, on the other half of the fucking...

• 26:31H. Foley?

  It's just a curtain and the guys playing shirts and skins.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Ah, that's good stuff. Alright, let's see here. Shout out to Johnny.

• 26:39H. Foley?

  Quit screwing around.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Johnny Clamps, never had one read. You ever have a generational beef with someone? My dad used to fight the same guy Dave at the local gas station multiple times a year for most of my childhood. Uh, that's, I don't know, that's great though. That's smaller town shit. Or at least real neighborhood shit. That's not, you know. Um.

• 27:01H. Foley?

  Those guys loved each other.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's something. I can't, it's like, I can't quit you.

• 27:06H. Foley?

  Have you ever got, I don't know about that.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Okay, sorry. Guy took you way too seriously. Yeah?

• 27:13H. Foley?

  Is this me?

• 27:14Speaker 01

  What?

• 27:15H. Foley?

  You talking to me?

• 27:16Speaker 01

  What?

• 27:17H. Foley?

  Can I help you?

• 27:17Speaker 01

  Who the fuck else am I talking to? Goddamn host of the show.

• 27:21H. Foley?

  Aw, thanks, man.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  Why, what? I got promoted?

• 27:27H. Foley?

  Have you ever gotten in a fight with somebody then immediately, hey? Like, it just cleared the air?

• 27:33Speaker 01

  Huh? Not immediate. I don't think so.

• 27:39H. Foley?

  I have.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I get that.

• 27:41H. Foley?

  Usually when you get your ass beat. Snap up real quick. Hey, fellow of a fight. Fucking eyes hanging off.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  Ah, dude, I remember there was, I remember there was this fight down at the playground, right? You're gonna meet in the, by the playground. These two smaller kids were fighting and it was like, I'll meet you there right after school. So like, we heard, we fucking, everybody squads up. Not just to go watch, like, we're not like.

• 28:04H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  It was like, two friends, like, two of like, you know, of our bigger friend circle. Um.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  They go, they fucking square up. One kid throws one punch and punches like, I guess the way he got him, like, he got him like here, like, right under the nose, like, on like the... Right on, right on the inside where the tooth went, put a big hole right there. And everybody's like... Alright, that's like, that is irrepre, like, that is unfixable damage you just did in one punch. That like, you know.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  You guys are, dude, and everybody was just like...

• 28:35H. Foley?

  What's your Adonis book? It's over 300?

• 28:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was just like...

• 28:39H. Foley?

  Alright, you boys are gonna keep going till you hit somebody's deductible.

• 28:43H. Foley?

  Any retainers or Invisalign fly out, I'm calling the fight.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Uh, called your parents, made sure all premiums are paid up. Uh, yeah, it was just one of those, cause like, there was no like, real hatred. It was just like, some shit that was made up in school of like, ah, someone says that, whatever. And it was like, they didn't even see each other.

• 29:02H. Foley?

  Was that you?

• 29:03Speaker 01

  What?

• 29:03H. Foley?

  Caught some trouble?

• 29:04Speaker 01

  No, um, I remember the kid, I forget, I remember that somebody fabricating it, and I went like, you just fucked it, like, he's forever gonna have a fucking scar on his face, cause you got bored in social studies class and started doing a he said, he said, she said bullshit. But I remember he hit a cig right after, he's smoking a Newport right after, and it was bubbling through the

• 29:23H. Foley?

  Ew!

• 29:24Speaker 01

  The hole, and we had, somebody had to cover it with a t-shirt. You gotta get your heater in after you get your ass kicked in front of the fucking-

• 29:29H. Foley?

  It was one punch, that was it?

• 29:30Speaker 01

  One punch, cause then they weren't really mad at each other. And then we're all like, ah, we're all friends, like-

• 29:36H. Foley?

  Didn't he get to swing him back?

• 29:38Speaker 01

  I don't think he wanted to at that point.

• 29:40H. Foley?

  He was done.

• 29:40Speaker 01

  I do, it's, it's just like, opened up. And there was just, it was like squirting out blood, and we're like, alright. I ran to the loom, hopped in, er, the cops come, I was never here, dude, later. I'm a bitch.

• 29:55H. Foley?

  Hey man, it's Taco Salad Night at my mom's house, I don't wanna puke.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was, uh, I never got that. Uh, but like, I never, I never fought anybody, that would have to be a complete stranger, where I go, respect. We duked it out.

• 30:11H. Foley?

  Thank you for looking over here.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  I'm talking to the wall, motherfucker.

• 30:17H. Foley?

  Hey, good shooting, mate.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did it, uh, I don't think, I don't think so. I think maybe one of the, one of the times I fought my brother, mate, nah, I don't know about that.

• 30:29H. Foley?

  There's a chemical release-

• 30:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:32H. Foley?

  After it, where you, like, you just, you know, I don't know, sometimes like, makes you, like, boys.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's like, uh, you know, there's a, a mano, e mano.

• 30:40H. Foley?

  You should hate the guy.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying. I'm I'd be cry punching people.

• 30:50Speaker 01

  Alright, let's see here. This one's from Abbyville. $10 beautiful girl here. Shout out to the beautiful girls. "I typically do not need a freeze pack slash block for my lunch bag. The only one I have was thawed out on the counter." Okay, so she needed one.

• 31:08H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 31:08Speaker 01

  She doesn't typically need one. She needed one this day.

• 31:10H. Foley?

  Right.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  Didn't have it.

• 31:11H. Foley?

  Right.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 31:13H. Foley?

  You put one in there anyway.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Where?

• 31:15H. Foley?

  You put the thing in there anyway.

• 31:17Speaker 01

  The warm one?

• 31:18H. Foley?

  The warm one.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 31:19H. Foley?

  No, you put, you always, even if you don't need it, you got a sandwich and a soda.

• 31:25H. Foley?

  Patty always put the cold pack in there.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  You'd go to lunch with a cold pack?

• 31:29H. Foley?

  Always.

• 31:30Speaker 01

  That's wild.

• 31:31H. Foley?

  Why?

• 31:32Speaker 01

  We never did that. That was...

• 31:33H. Foley?

  It lowers the core temperature, everything, a little bit.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  That was dork shit to me. What'd you do?

• 31:38Speaker 02

  I had one until like, probably, third grade.

• 31:40Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 31:41H. Foley?

  Third, I had my high school.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why you weren't getting any pussy. That's why this... Dude, this kid's, this nerd stopped in third grade. You're carrying a, you carried a lunchbox in high school?

• 31:51H. Foley?

  I had like a fucking bag. I'd eat certain things, man.

• 31:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, everything. I'd eat certain things. I'd eat my Doritos, I'd eat my...

• 31:59H. Foley?

  No, I had, I had to have a, you know, the, the, the high caloric diets. Goddamn wrestler. I can only eat a couple of days a week.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 32:06H. Foley?

  Mom!

• 32:07Speaker 01

  You stink.

• 32:08H. Foley?

  Nuh uh.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do.

• 32:10H. Foley?

  I had to have, I wanted stuff cool.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:12H. Foley?

  You know?

• 32:13Speaker 01

  I had to, so far, you went, I had to. The doctors said I had to.

• 32:16H. Foley?

  I didn't think about a doctor.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Um...

• 32:19H. Foley?

  Nurse practitioner.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, no, we, I, I would, I didn't like bring, I didn't like coming home with stuff. I gotta fucking carry this around all day? My dad's the same way. Just never like, I don't like taking a bag with, I won't take a bag to the supermarket, cause it's like, that's not the way they go. I don't bring stuff home. I leave it, you know? I don't know.

• 32:40H. Foley?

  There was a lot of fights about that.

• 32:42Speaker 01

  About what?

• 32:43H. Foley?

  About me leaving them everywhere.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's just like, I'd just go like, I'll just buy a lunch.

• 32:47H. Foley?

  Sometimes my parents would give me something, and I'd be like, hey, what the fuck is wrong with you? Alright.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  You guys read a newspaper recently? I stink.

• 32:55H. Foley?

  What the fuck?

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:56H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, that's great, thanks.

• 32:59Speaker 01

  I think.

• 33:00H. Foley?

  Fucking leave that somewhere.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  I never got fucking screamed at. I left the banana in the bottom of my schoolbag. Maybe over summer, over like a long break. It like, I think I got, I think I came home from school like the last day of summer and like threw my schoolbag in the corner of the garage.

• 33:18H. Foley?

  Save that banana for later, huh?

• 33:20Speaker 01

  And it smushed banana and I think we had like every kind of bug all summer and we couldn't figure out what it was. And my mom never thought to check the bottom of my, like the schoolbag.

• 33:31H. Foley?

  Where was it?

• 33:31Speaker 01

  In the garage. And then, typical me, the day before, like, you know, it's 10pm, first, before the first.

• 33:39H. Foley?

  Ew!

• 33:40Speaker 01

  She's like, "Do you have your schoolbag?" I'm like, "Yeah, whatever, it's in the garage, I got it." I went to put my fucking brand new Trapper Keeper in there for 4th grade, dude, and it was, oh my god, it was brutal. I remember, "Ooh, goddammit, I have ruined everything." Just getting fucking screamed at. My prob, I always, there would be a problem and I wouldn't address it. "You gotta tell me sooner so I can fix it." That's what she would yell at me.

• 34:08H. Foley?

  Yeah, you finally, then you got this.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  "You're breaking my fucking balls, lady." "You'll figure it out." Uh, yeah, I remember that and I, yeah, I didn't have a schoolbag. I was the coolest kid that day. Rolling into school with no schoolbag?

• 34:20H. Foley?

  No schoolbag was the best.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, just, "What? Nah, I gotta hit, I gotta doctor, I didn't bring my bag, later."

• 34:26H. Foley?

  I stopped doing books like halfway through my senior year. Just, whatever.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  Real go-getter.

• 34:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I didn't like taking anything home. I would leave it at home if I knew I was gonna need it the next. Also, my parents were divorced and there was always like a.

• 34:43H. Foley?

  Back and forth.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  My math books at dad's house, my whatever, and sometimes the teacher, like, "Why don't you do your homework?" I go, "I'm sorry, my, I left my bag at my, my dad's apartment." You know? "Okay, well, have you talked to the counselor?" I haven't. "Okay, well, are you gonna talk to the counselor?" Yeah, I would just give him some sob story.

• 35:02H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  See, I gotta get that, I gotta say, "It's cash only and I don't have my fucking, I walked out without my wallet."

• 35:09H. Foley?

  You're just describing the scene from Mrs. Doubtfire.

• 35:14H. Foley?

  So which my mom had amoebas.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  Mrs. Doubtfiati.

• 35:19H. Foley?

  Um.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's a tough one. But, oh, so I'm sorry. The only one I had, she didn't have one thawed out. Yeah, I'm sorry.

• 35:25H. Foley?

  Please.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  "I had to leave for work in a hurry, so I grabbed a frozen bagel in a Ziploc bag that I would, knew I was never gonna eat." It ended up being thawed out later, and she ate the bagel that day.

• 35:37H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 35:39H. Foley?

  The very bagel that she used. I respect the move.

• 35:42Speaker 01

  That's not bad.

• 35:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  I doubt it gives off that much.

• 35:48H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Coolness, though. That's got a thaw.

• 35:50H. Foley?

  Frozen?

• 35:50Speaker 01

  That's got a thaw. Yeah, but there's no moisture in it. The moisture is what keeps like, imagine like a frozen thing of fucking hamburger meat.

• 35:58H. Foley?

  That's hanging on for a while.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  A bagel, by the time the air gets to it.

• 36:01H. Foley?

  Can't cook that at work, though.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. You're fucking making sloppy jokes.

• 36:06H. Foley?

  Jammed up for that.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 36:08H. Foley?

  Ingenious.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, there you go. Also, who doesn't want just a fucking bagel midway through the day?

• 36:13H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  A little afternoon?

• 36:14H. Foley?

  Especially one of them frozen lenders.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  That's all we had growing up. I remember.

• 36:19H. Foley?

  You don't need to toast them.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  I remember at one point, they kept making them smaller and smaller, and like, the one side would be, barely be touching as a be, you know what I mean? It would be like, it would be like that thick from the hole to the outer ring. Like, what the fuck? I had to eat 15 of these fucking things.

• 36:33H. Foley?

  They had those weird little clamps on the end of them that didn't, they didn't cut them all the way through. You had to peel them apart.

• 36:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:38H. Foley?

  You know what I'm talking about?

• 36:38Speaker 01

  Hated that.

• 36:39H. Foley?

  How do you feel about the mini bagel?

• 36:41Speaker 01

  No.

• 36:42H. Foley?

  My mom gets involved in them every once in a while.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  Now?

• 36:44H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  In her 70s?

• 36:46H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 36:48Speaker 01

  That's swinger shit.

• 36:49H. Foley?

  I'll be at the house, she'll have a bunch of little mini bagels. They're little bangers, but I don't get it.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  I get it for her, these older broads, they eat a little, you know what I mean? They're not like fucking putting, they, I'll have two little ones, whatever. The kids, too, I get like.

• 37:01H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  You know, I got a little, little kid, for sure, and it makes it a little easier, a little funner, whatever.

• 37:06H. Foley?

  She yells at me so much with the fucking, the English muffins. I'll just come in and crucify a whole sleeve.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 37:14H. Foley?

  I can't have one.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  That maybe don't have one at all.

• 37:18H. Foley?

  What am I, a dickhead?

• 37:19Speaker 01

  A little bit. Also, is there any shame in just crushing all your mom's bag, like, you have to know, see, this goes back to, you know you're gonna get yelled at?

• 37:27H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:29Speaker 01

  You could easily Uber Eats fifteen packs of fucking Thomas's English Muffins for you or for her. But you just crush hers. And just go, "You believe she's fucking bitching at me for fucking eating all of her food?" Now this old broad's got a fuck, she's got bad hip or something, she's got bad something. She's gotta go, she's got canker sores, yeah. Got bad knees. You gotta go hobble to the fucking Whole Foods.

• 37:51H. Foley?

  I get it for her.

• 37:54H. Foley?

  She's got other ones in the freezer. I don't leave her high and dry. Check the stash first. The head stash.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  Check her fucking sock drawer, make sure she's got a fucking sweet bag in there.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  Oh, God. Alright, let's-

• 38:07H. Foley?

  No, there is no shame. Which maybe that's my problem. But I have a lot of shame.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think you do a lot of, you do say you don't have shame, but you are, I would argue, one of the most shameful. You're so aware of all your things and it comes out as...

• 38:24Speaker 01

  You know. You're like the gay guy who screams, "I'm not gay!" You know what I mean?

• 38:29H. Foley?

  But I am.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  But you are. You're like one of those congressmen who's like anti-gay and then gets caught fucking blowing a guy at fucking Farley Service Center.

• 38:36H. Foley?

  I'm trying to close down Thomas's English Muffin.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  He's an atrocity! Keep him coming. Secret stash.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  Oh, God. Alright, let's see here. This is a pretty good one. This is from TrevDog. Great name.

• 38:54H. Foley?

  TrevDog.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Just fucking out there.

• 38:56H. Foley?

  TrevDog.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:57H. Foley?

  You know anybody with dog in their name?

• 38:59Speaker 01

  Uh, my boy Ryan, my boy, my boy Deli, who Diesel said, he goes, "Every time you mention him, you say my boy Deli?" Like it's his full name. My boy Deli.

• 39:08H. Foley?

  My boy Deli.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Uh, it goes, "At one point, he tried maybe going by RyDog."

• 39:12H. Foley?

  He tried?

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Well, we asked him what his street name was, meaning what street he lives on.

• 39:17H. Foley?

  Huh? Oh, just sounds like a stripper name?

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, and he said RyDog. Meaning like his hood, like his street name. And we're like, "First of all, no one calls you RyDog." Anywho.

• 39:27H. Foley?

  But you meant, what's your street name is what?

• 39:30Speaker 01

  I'm like, "I don't want to give his street name out."

• 39:31H. Foley?

  What are you talking about?

• 39:32Speaker 01

  The street he grew up on.

• 39:34H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  We asked him what your street name was.

• 39:36H. Foley?

  Oh, you mean-

• 39:36Speaker 01

  And he's such a dirtbag, he-

• 39:38H. Foley?

  You meant just like-

• 39:38Speaker 01

  He took it as his gang name, like what the cops know him as.

• 39:41H. Foley?

  I thought you meant like, when you, when you had like what your stripper name would be.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  That's what, we were playing that game and we said, "Hey Ry, what's street, what's your street name?"

• 39:49H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 39:50Speaker 01

  And instead of saying fucking Pine Run or whatever, he said RyDog.

• 39:56Speaker 01

  We were like 13, we're like, no one calls you a fucking ride dog.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  But that's what he wanted to be, shout out, shout out Ryan and Scott, Scott's a big listener. Love you guys. But yeah. Uh, but nobody with dog, I mean minus, ride dog for a very short period.

• 40:17H. Foley?

  We had a bulldog.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  A bulldog, that's a little too cool though.

• 40:20H. Foley?

  Give me Shab.

• 40:23Speaker 01

  How would you say, yeah, how would you say it in conversation?

• 40:25H. Foley?

  About the bulldog.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  I got you calling him, yeah, would you say, "Hey bulldog, hey be dog, yo dog."

• 40:29H. Foley?

  Yeah. He's fucking, super upper body strength.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:33H. Foley?

  And he, he was just-

• 40:34Speaker 01

  Another problem.

• 40:35H. Foley?

  He was just able to like, take a kid and just flip him over, and it was like a move that he kind of invented on his own.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Call that the cement mixer, rah! Do you remember that? That was a big move when my brother wrestled. The cement, put him in the cement mixer. I guess you flip while you turn on, see if that's a move, that's a move. That's a move, maybe not back in the 50s when you were doing it.

• 40:57H. Foley?

  The fuck league was he wrestling in, the cement mixer?

• 40:59Speaker 01

  WWE.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  That's a move.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  I didn't just make it up.

• 41:04H. Foley?

  The cement mixer?

• 41:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Hey, call yourself a wrestler, this came from a state champion to put you in the cement mixer. Oh, you, you're regionals.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  Not to be confused with the cow catcher, which I guess is a similar move.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  Which was all these high school years.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  The heifer hoarder, that's what you were. Yeah?

• 41:23H. Foley?

  Strolling around the pasture, hello ladies.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  What is the cement mixer? I think you would like, I remember it was like, you got him and you whopped him. My neighbor used to, that was his move, that was his finisher, and he was real good.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  The move is illegal as it locks on the neck.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  Uh. We played dirty.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Maybe that's why I knew of it, I don't know what year they banned it. What year did he get fucking axed? But I remember that.

• 41:55H. Foley?

  The bulldog.

• 41:56Speaker 01

  First of all.

• 41:57H. Foley?

  Flip you over.

• 41:58Speaker 01

  Flip you.

• 42:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, you get someone in like a neck hold over the top.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  And then U-turn.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  And then flip them, yeah. And you flip over.

• 42:06H. Foley?

  A neck hold over the top.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 42:08H. Foley?

  Just choking him?

• 42:10Speaker 01

  I like how you put yourself there, like you were gonna.

• 42:12H. Foley?

  Stand up, me do it.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  You fucking probably gooch me. Scumbag.

• 42:17H. Foley?

  Stop playing with your balls.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  Give you a fish. I remember my cousin Liam teaching me how to fight at a very young age.

• 42:23H. Foley?

  Fish hook?

• 42:23Speaker 01

  Ah, you know, fish hook and eye gouge. He goes, anybody, anybody?

• 42:26H. Foley?

  Eye gouge?

• 42:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. From Kensington. We were the fucking suburban pussies. These kids were like.

• 42:32H. Foley?

  Eye gouge is permanent.

• 42:34Speaker 01

  Yeah. I don't know if you've been around the streets of Kensington, but those motherfuckers played for keeps. But yeah, fish, I learned fish hook at a very early age. Just fucking, and he did it. He's like, this is how you do it. Whew. Wonder how, wonder how I got these scars?

• 42:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, they don't, uh, they were the, you know.

• 42:54H. Foley?

  You probably didn't like that, did you?

• 42:55Speaker 01

  I was such a pussy compared to those kids.

• 42:57H. Foley?

  I remember my brother sticking my head in between the sofa cushions.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  I almost freaked the fuck out.

• 43:03H. Foley?

  He fucking fish hooked me.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:05H. Foley?

  Fucking burned the house down. You gotta be kidding me.

• 43:08Speaker 01

  We used to get ridiculed for being the only, the only kids that lived in the suburbs. Everybody else still lived in the city. And they fucking, you little bitches out there, everybody show up and just get ridiculed. Danny did not like it.

• 43:22H. Foley?

  You got a bag of bread with you?

• 43:23Speaker 01

  We're all just. This ended in so many fights, it was crazy. Just so many like, I'd just be watching.

• 43:30H. Foley?

  Did you ever fight any of your cousins?

• 43:31Speaker 01

  No, there was none my age. Danny and those guys are the closest to me. So like, one of them would hit me, or like, I, you know.

• 43:37H. Foley?

  So did you go after one of the girls?

• 43:40Speaker 01

  The girls would fight too. The girls would be quick to take their, you know, the girls, some of the girls, I've always said Philly girls still go, oh, they'll, they'll name a school and go, all, all those girls think they're tough. Or like, you know.

• 43:55H. Foley?

  Girls in the mount.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  They can't fight. I'm like, well, that's, I don't think you guys should be bragging about how good you fight.

• 44:01H. Foley?

  There was something hot about those girls at the Italian schools though. Fucking big earrings, Italian princess.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  Put them in some mix around big guy. Beautiful girls. Um, but back-

• 44:16H. Foley?

  Couldn't even talk to him.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  What?

• 44:18H. Foley?

  I'm nervous, little fat kid.

• 44:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:21H. Foley?

  Some fucking, some Guido with fucking a mustache and muscles and shit like that. Driving an IROC-Z.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:27H. Foley?

  I'm getting dropped off on my Uncle Mike. There with my cousin Tracy.

• 44:32H. Foley?

  Fucking stink.

• 44:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. We didn't really ha- I guess like the, the, the, those Catholic schools have been phased out by the time-

• 44:39H. Foley?

  Oh, they were hot back in the day.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  By the-

• 44:41H. Foley?

  Spicy.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, they were-

• 44:43H. Foley?

  Fights, it was lawless in there. Couple of fucking ectocoolers and fucking-

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Couple of mini bagels calling it day. Lot of fair-

• 44:55H. Foley?

  Oh, man.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  I need somewhere to put my ice pack! If I come home without my ice pack, my mom's gonna have my ass.

• 45:01H. Foley?

  I remember I'd wear the dorkiest shit too. She'd, my mom, she'd be like, "You gotta put a nice sweater on," I'd be in there fucking pouring sweat. Fucking dudes in there with fucking tank tops looking all fly. Breakdancing and shit.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:13H. Foley?

  I mean, they're like a fucking working accounting.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Counting all the calories you're eating.

• 45:22Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 45:27H. Foley?

  Kim, what's up about Chime?

• 45:28Speaker 01

  Chime!

• 45:29H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 45:32Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 45:33H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 45:34Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 45:34H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, "If you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff." I'll tell you what I really wish, I could go back and say, "Hey, I wish I had Chime."

• 45:49Speaker 01

  I know. Listen, if, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks-

• 46:00H. Foley?

  Amen.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  -coming after ya.

• 46:02H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, that eh, oh, oh, five, five dollars for this, ten dollars for that, they got their hand in your pocket.

• 46:09H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:09Speaker 01

  Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding, fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. Look at that. I know, I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage. That's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. Do it.

• 46:45Speaker 03

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's Bank Partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Let's see. Back to Trev Dog's question.

• 46:59H. Foley?

  Trev Dog.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  That's a fucking hell of a tangent there. Uh, Been Here For A Minute Or Two, Never Had One Read. Is it garbage to refer to an SUV as a truck? That is a, it's a dirtbag thing. My truck. You can just say my car. I get that it's not a car, but it is your vehi-, your, we live in a world where your vehicle is defined as a car.

• 47:22H. Foley?

  Truck is a truck.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 47:26H. Foley?

  What?

• 47:27Speaker 01

  I get that it's a truck. I understand that.

• 47:29H. Foley?

  No, no, no. I'm saying SUV.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  You don't, what?

• 47:32H. Foley?

  I wouldn't say that for, I got my truck. That's a guy trying to look cool.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  I would say even people with pickup trucks say it, which it's, your pickup truck is still a car.

• 47:40H. Foley?

  No, you say, I said a truck. When you got a tr-, when you got a truck? You say, "I got a truck." "I got the truck outside."

• 47:46Speaker 01

  That's if you're moving something. Not like, "Hey, can you run to the store and buy apples?" "Yeah, of course. I got the truck outside." You wouldn't say that. You would say, as I come from a big pickup truck family. You're flexing. You don't, I don't think you need to say "truck" unless you need the truck that moment. "Hey, can you help me move my bed?" "Of course, I got the truck outside."

• 48:07H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 48:09Speaker 01

  You would, you would say like, you, because you, it's just your car. It's your car. That's your vehicle.

• 48:13H. Foley?

  All right, you got a sweet F-.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  You don't say, "Hey, I got a new quote on my pickup truck insurance." You go, "I got new car insurance." Who's your car insurance?

• 48:19H. Foley?

  You got a sweet F-250 outside. One of those ones with the two double wheels in the back.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  A dooley?

• 48:25H. Foley?

  Yeah, hemi, whole nine yards.

• 48:27Speaker 01

  Wait, I know, I know where you're going. I'm saying truck. It's trashy, though.

• 48:31H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  But I get it, but I see you're flexing to say truck. I call my Tahoe a truck. I got the truck.

• 48:37H. Foley?

  You, see, that's trash.

• 48:39Speaker 01

  Hey, I, we started with this with me begging for 20 bucks at an Exxon.

• 48:43H. Foley?

  That's something like an accountant would say to try to sound cool.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  I'm a podcaster trying to sound cool. Um, okay. Um, yeah, I don't, uh, yeah, I mean, I'm not proud of it. I'm trying to sound cool for sure. I am a

• 49:02Speaker 01

  huge loser.

• 49:03H. Foley?

  Cause when you, cause you can't really put shit in there.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  That's a big misconception.

• 49:07H. Foley?

  No, you're not putting fucking lumber and shit in there. Rip up the seats.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  It's all covered in plastic, dude.

• 49:12H. Foley?

  No, you'll be in there bitching.

• 49:16Speaker 01

  No, dude, you put all the fucking seats down and they have these like, uh, these rubber, like, uh, true mat, like, that covers everything. I only have to do anything. It all, they all hinge on each other. And it's all, like a bed liner. Now, I'm not putting any lumber back there. I am putting strollers and, uh,

• 49:34H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  Boxes and luggage, but I could, if I wanted to put lumber in there.

• 49:39H. Foley?

  What about gravel? Put some gravel in there?

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Oh, it'd have to be in a bag.

• 49:42H. Foley?

  Yeah, see? Truck, I'll throw it right in the back. I hose it out.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, I know. You first of all, you don't have a truck.

• 49:52H. Foley?

  I do.

• 49:54H. Foley?

  It's a Jeep.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  Oh, the Jeep's a truck?

• 49:57H. Foley?

  Jeep's a truck. No, but we had a truck, a truck truck, like a real truck.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  Uh, listen, I think it is, back to it is trashy, I think.

• 50:08H. Foley?

  You're looking for validation.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  Whoa, someone went to therapy today.

• 50:12H. Foley?

  I did. Tomorrow too?

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Striple up. Mm-hmm. Um, okay, yeah, you're, yeah, you're looking for, you want people to, which I'm okay with.

• 50:25H. Foley?

  But then that's misleading.

• 50:26Speaker 01

  Why?

• 50:26H. Foley?

  I thought you said you had a truck. Yeah, I got the towel. I can't put the fucking bed in there.

• 50:31Speaker 01

  You don't tell them it's a truck if you need something moved. Yes, I got the truck. Yeah, so I'm in the truck.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  But if they go, "Oh, yeah, you can fit my gravel," you go, "Uh, it's an SUV. It's a sportsy, dirty vehicle." I can't be moving your gravel from house to house.

• 50:48H. Foley?

  I got speakers in there, dickhead.

• 50:51Speaker 01

  Gonna ruin the bows. Um, yeah.

• 50:54H. Foley?

  Is that what you have, is bows in there?

• 50:55Speaker 01

  I don't think so. I got the, I have the most standard package.

• 50:58H. Foley?

  JPL?

• 51:00Speaker 01

  JBL's? No, they're expensive. JBL's are expensive.

• 51:03H. Foley?

  Mosquitoes?

• 51:04Speaker 01

  I don't know what those are.

• 51:05H. Foley?

  I made it up.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  I had pioneers.

• 51:07H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 51:07Speaker 01

  I put two six-by-nine, open box. I bought, I bought open box six-by-nines and a Best Buy. They were returned or something like that. Put them in the back of the Lumina. Boom, boom.

• 51:18H. Foley?

  Who put them in?

• 51:19Speaker 01

  I did.

• 51:20H. Foley?

  How?

• 51:21Speaker 01

  The speakers, they're not, it wasn't like the subwoofer, it was just the speakers. They just pop right in.

• 51:26H. Foley?

  What'd you connect them to?

• 51:27Speaker 01

  You're just like, like you're setting up like fucking speaker. You put the blue wire to the red wire to the red wire, the black wire to the black thing. Like, you remember how you would like push the thing open and put the little cable wa, the little red wire in there?

• 51:37H. Foley?

  Yeah, I remember that.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's how also in 1995 Chevy Lumina was operating. It wasn't like, there wasn't like aux cords and shit like that at the time.

• 51:45H. Foley?

  Hmm, you have to cut out the hole or anything like that?

• 51:47Speaker 01

  I didn't do nothing. Pop right in there. Six-by-nines, a pioneers. Cost me a hundred and twenty-nine bucks.

• 51:56H. Foley?

  They go, "Oh, the money he saved for garlic knots."

• 51:59Speaker 01

  Nah, I used to go to Domino's. They did like a garlic bread. It was like a long cheesy stick.

• 52:04H. Foley?

  Remember how big garlic bread got?

• 52:05Speaker 01

  It was crazy, dude.

• 52:07H. Foley?

  Garlic bread got so popular. It was insane.

• 52:10Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. How do you feel about-

• 52:12H. Foley?

  You were having pizza. The same shit.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  No, it's not. You know it and I know it, fatty. It's not. I, you, you know. Yeah, it's the same thing, but it's not the same thing.

• 52:24H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  You know? Little cup of dipping sauce. I'm the, I'm the judge, jury and executioner here. I determine. Not some paisan behind the counter.

• 52:34H. Foley?

  You wanna hear something sick?

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 52:38H. Foley?

  Luke?

• 52:40H. Foley?

  I like a cold marinara for dipping my garlic bread.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  Damn, what?

• 52:47Speaker 01

  This fucking guy, here, where, eh, eh, eh, somebody hit me. Hey, I want all cameras on me right now. Gimme, gimme the, the fly eye.

• 52:53H. Foley?

  A little bit thicker, too.

• 52:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, no shit. Yeah, call you, you need the juxtaposition.

• 52:57H. Foley?

  Sticks to it.

• 52:58Speaker 01

  I don't want a hot fucking thing and then hot stuff on a hot stuff. That's why the ranch ain't hot, or the, the blue cheese ain't hot when you get cold.

• 53:05H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  On the wings. Um.

• 53:08H. Foley?

  My, my parents used to go to this place, then, Vito's or something like that. And they would give you, they would give you this crazy awesome garlic bread. They did it for like, the first year they were open, they stopped doing it because they were probably hemorrhaging money. It was this crazy garlic bread. My dad would order like six baskets.

• 53:28H. Foley?

  He just keep crushing it.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  Uh, I got a question for you. Went to a restaurant yesterday, I ordered a chicken parm. Shout out to Parm, the restaurant in New York.

• 53:36H. Foley?

  I thought you meant chicken parm in general.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Shout out to Parmesan in general, doing great things. They offered, uh, you can get the sandwich on their famous garlic bread. They can garlic bread the, the, the bread for you.

• 53:47H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  I'm not a fan of that. What are your thoughts?

• 53:50H. Foley?

  Please.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Really?

• 53:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 53:53H. Foley?

  The more flavor, the better. I don't like just plain bread in that situation. That's why when I get a bacon, egg and cheese, I got the bread buttered.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  That's different, though, to me. Because you butter bread.

• 54:07Speaker 01

  To me, I want the chicken parm sandwich. I don't want a garlic bread version of a chicken parm sandwich. You know what I mean? That's just me. It's a little too much.

• 54:14H. Foley?

  Nah, that's a good idea.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 54:16H. Foley?

  You didn't get it?

• 54:18Speaker 01

  No, I'm a fucking pure. I have, I can't, I'm not saying I might not try it next time, but I can't not try the straight up, the first time there, the place called Parm, known for their chicken parm. I can't not try that.

• 54:29H. Foley?

  How does that hold up?

• 54:30Speaker 01

  What, the reg, the reg's one? It was good. Yeah, yeah, it was good. A little, the place is a little more casual, I think.

• 54:35H. Foley?

  What else you have? No, that wasn't it.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  Uh, we got a side of fries for the table, mainly me, but I said for the ta, I said, you want fries? Yeah, well, don't for the table, but it was my order. Um, did a seize, split a seize for the table. Big crunchy croutons, lot of cheese on there. Um, that's it.

• 54:53H. Foley?

  I like a Caesar.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  That's it. I'm not doing appetizers or desserts, I gotta tighten it up.

• 54:58H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  Tight.

• 54:59H. Foley?

  Pay me, man. Pick that check up?

• 55:01Speaker 01

  That one, no, but I will respect, I picked up every other one. And then... We asked for the check and I was with my mother Denise was in town. She goes, "I'll get it." You and she, this made me feel nice because she said it as the guy or the girl was breaking out the digital thing. She goes, "You've paid for everything all weekend."

• 55:20H. Foley?

  You hear that?

• 55:22Speaker 01

  That's all I needed. I feel not-

• 55:23H. Foley?

  Got the truck out front.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  All the gravel in bags that you need. It made me feel-

• 55:29H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  Good that she knew that I wasn't a loser, which I am, but um-

• 55:34H. Foley?

  And he asked if they had any sherbet.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  Can I get one scoop of sherbet? Um, yeah. Alright, let's see here. Let's see, let's see, what else do we got? Um, this one's from Crippled Eagle 86.

• 55:47H. Foley?

  Breathe it.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  $10 homie here, haven't had one read before. Is it garbage or joy a cold drink while on the commode?

• 55:54H. Foley?

  Mmm.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  I, I don't think, and we've gotten this question a lot, eating, whatever. Drinking would be the most I could do and I'd still have to say no. That's just me.

• 56:09H. Foley?

  It's not my style.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:11H. Foley?

  But as gross as, listen, I'm disgusting.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  Hey, he's telling the truth.

• 56:16H. Foley?

  I'm gross, but I had something shuts off in my brain in those situations. Cause I know what's in the air.

• 56:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's-

• 56:23H. Foley?

  Atomically.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  It's, yes.

• 56:24H. Foley?

  Cellulally.

• 56:25Speaker 01

  And you, listen.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  If you're doing fucking big, you know, big boy dumps, that air cha- like the, the physical tension in the air changes.

• 56:36H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 56:37Speaker 01

  The temperature cha- you know what I mean? A storm roll, a high pressure system roll, like-

• 56:41H. Foley?

  Could slice it with a knife.

• 56:43Speaker 01

  To like-

• 56:43H. Foley?

  That's everywhere.

• 56:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just, I don't know in what, I don't know what I would be eating, what I would have to be eating.

• 56:51H. Foley?

  Eating?

• 56:52Speaker 01

  Ugh. Yeah, drinking, no.

• 56:54H. Foley?

  I don't like heaters in there.

• 56:55Speaker 01

  I have to, did I ever tell you the time I tried to do that as a kid? My dad would always smoke on the toilet. For like, he'd be in there reading the paper, cranking heaters, any bathroom. All my hall, like, you know, the kids bathroom downstairs, they're just- It's just the world we go, there was just heaters everywhere at all times. Inside.

• 57:14H. Foley?

  Where would he ash it?

• 57:15Speaker 01

  I think right between them. Or maybe, I think in like the, or like the sink. The powder, like the downstairs bathroom was like a small one, so it was like, I think he-

• 57:24H. Foley?

  And then he'd flush it?

• 57:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess. I, so many times I'd go in, and I think he would just be ripping heaters, like walking around and then just throw it in. So many times, this is unlocking a memory. There was just a Marlboro red butt floating in the thing that I would pee on and try to break up. I'd try to open up by peeing on it. My whole childhood. Probably even now. I mean, I don't speak to the man, but probably even now.

• 57:47H. Foley?

  Where'd you go, Harvard?

• 57:53Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah.

• 57:54H. Foley?

  Yikes.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  But he would always, did it, so he left. And I was like, I gotta try, I like was dabbling in heaters, probably 12. Whatever, as a kid, dabbling in heaters.

• 58:05H. Foley?

  So he left and you tried to replace that?

• 58:07Speaker 01

  What?

• 58:08H. Foley?

  Interesting.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  He left, what do you mean he left?

• 58:10H. Foley?

  He moved out.

• 58:11Speaker 01

  He left me. No. No, this was at his house.

• 58:14H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  I went, this is how grownups, I go, he does this all the time, this heater's gotta be sick.

• 58:20H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:20Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 58:22H. Foley?

  The one they talk about after sex.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  I'm jerking off and then catching a heater? Um, I, yeah, and I tried it, I was just like, this is... I remember I was, he was like, I'm, I'm leaving, he's like, I'm leaving tonight at 6, and I went. I had one heater and a fucking, like an Altoids can or something like that, that I was saving. I stole from him. And I said, baby, wait till he leaves.

• 58:44H. Foley?

  This was the big night?

• 58:45Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be fucking smoking and dookie and, and, uh-

• 58:48H. Foley?

  How long are you holding the doo-doo in?

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Probably since noon or something, I needed to hadda. You better believe I'm gonna hadda. Sneeze. It's me, right?

• 58:57H. Foley?

  Kim, what are you doing tonight? You don't wanna know.

• 59:00Speaker 01

  And I immediately hated it. I didn't, yeah, like, it just wasn't for me at an early age. I don't get it. I don't like combining all that stuff.

• 59:08H. Foley?

  No. Yeah, so drinking.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  I mean, you'll even smoke in the pool or the hot tub.

• 59:13H. Foley?

  Oh, I like that.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's just still too much.

• 59:16H. Foley?

  You know what I can't?

• 59:17Speaker 01

  It's not the best version of swimming and it's not the best heater to me.

• 59:19H. Foley?

  You know what I can't get you good heater is on the beach. There's something with the moisture in the air.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  And the wind.

• 59:25H. Foley?

  I don't like a heater on the beach.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  And the wind. And if you're drunk, then yeah.

• 59:29H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 59:29Speaker 01

  But you gotta be.

• 59:31H. Foley?

  Don't you feel bad about putting it out there? Flicking into a sea?

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Not in Wildwood, you don't need to. I'm obviously off the heaters, but I would go, back in the day, we'd walk off the beach. There's everybody's kids and nieces and nephews, you know, you don't want to be the, unless... My cousin Dan and his family comes down and they're like a heavy, the heavy side of the heater family, so come like 1pm, we're already drunk, just like, yeah.

• 59:55H. Foley?

  Heaters.

• 59:55Speaker 01

  Having them right in a circle, under the tent.

• 59:57H. Foley?

  What do you think I would stand on that?

• 59:59Speaker 01

  On what?

• 59:59H. Foley?

  Walking it back to the thing and then coming back.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  No, you wouldn't.

• 1:00:03H. Foley?

  Once I get, once I, I go on the beach?

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  You're on the beach.

• 1:00:06H. Foley?

  And I go off the beach.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:00:08H. Foley?

  I make that trek. I was like Normandy. I ain't going back.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Sure, but it's also very nice of, me and Danny Ryan would do this a lot. We'd be on the beach, social, I, nah, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer. And then, you know, you make eyes, you go, let's pop off. And then you can go trash whoever, I just, you know. Then you have your own little powwow, then you go back, and you go back, you know. It's a fun little Irish Catholic, uh... Sit, you know, you know when someone leaves the party, like, I got, I got guys, bro, I always something, you know what I mean?

• 1:00:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  You're doing, I have the little all too well.

• 1:00:46H. Foley?

  It's usually me.

• 1:00:47Speaker 01

  No, no one's ever said that.

• 1:00:48H. Foley?

  I caught you trashing me the other day when I stepped out, came in your truck.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  No, you're wrong. That was, that was purely about me. It was about.

• 1:00:56H. Foley?

  Stink.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:00:57H. Foley?

  Start chiming in.

• 1:01:00Speaker 01

  Hey, tell you about his little dick too? I was, I was speaking purely about myself. A hundred percent. Hand up. Um.

• 1:01:07H. Foley?

  Trust these rats.

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  It's a problem. We think everybody's against you. It's crazy. Alright, let's see. This one's from C.M. Hannigan. What a name.

• 1:01:16H. Foley?

  C.M. Hannigan.

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  That's like a, like a writer or something.

• 1:01:19H. Foley?

  Yeah, C.M. That's by C.M. Hannigan.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  His early work.

• 1:01:22H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  C.M. Hannigan. Or her.

• 1:01:24H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  Yes. Uh, I would assume this has to be a guy. You ever see blood on the bread after biting into a sandwich? Dude, that is so fucking specific. It's crazy.

• 1:01:37H. Foley?

  Yes, and it's freaked me the fuck out.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  Now, I think I've had it both ways. I think I've had it from like, it's been a real, like a lip sitch. And I think I've had a gum sitch.

• 1:01:49H. Foley?

  Ugh.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  From like a crunch, but like a real crunchy piece of pizza or pizza or something like that, toast or something?

• 1:01:55H. Foley?

  Yes, it would be the chip, it would be a chip, a kettle cooked chip. I think you meant like, when you got chap lips as a kid, would you like bleed on the ins- uh, uh, you weren't one of those freaks, right?

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  No, no, but I'm just saying if, say your lips are dry and you, you gotta get up there, it's real tight, you gotta, maybe the bread's a couple days old and you toasted it, it a little too sharp, got flakes, so you cut it a little.

• 1:02:16H. Foley?

  I'll get it with a healing cold sore too.

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  Cold sore.

• 1:02:19H. Foley?

  And you go like that to bite and that splits.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  That's a little different, but yeah, that's a bit of a virus vibe you got going on there. Uh, a little bit of an infection.

• 1:02:30H. Foley?

  But you didn't get such bad chap lips that they cracked and bled?

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  I mean, not like, I wasn't the kid with chap lips, but like definitely, you know, from time to ti- you know, yeah, you'd get, I get it now, even now, like not, you know, if it gets too bad. I mean, also, we weren't like a chapstick. I wasn't like running around with chapsticks.

• 1:02:49H. Foley?

  We were a Bliss Tex family. That shit would fucking burn.

• 1:02:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, for a little bit. I remember like we would go like snowboarding and it would be like, put on your Bliss Tex, Blake. Never. We'd be sharing it and stuff too, like we didn't fucking, I'm probably, you know, probably giving each other fucking coal sores.

• 1:03:06H. Foley?

  You ever see a chick put on Carmex?

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was, yeah, that became, uh, that was stuff, I didn't know, I didn't, I feel like I didn't learn that till college though. Like that was.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  There was another one. Aqua Four or something like that, maybe?

• 1:03:24H. Foley?

  I love Aqua Four. For the boudoir.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 1:03:28H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's good stuff. It's like Vaseline.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  Beazoline. You shove your fingers in your ass.

• 1:03:37H. Foley?

  Kippe's hot today, boy.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  Uh, let's see, this was from Nate Schmidt, fake name for sure, Nate Schmidt. What's up, boys? $10 homie for a couple of years and they'll never have one red. How you doing? Happy to get it across my desk.

• 1:03:49H. Foley?

  Oh, love you, buddy.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  Um, saw you guys in Rochester. Shout out to you.

• 1:03:54H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 1:03:55Speaker 01

  Shout out to DeBella's Tuna Hoagies. I don't know what that is.

• 1:03:58H. Foley?

  DeBella's Tuna Hoagies?

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  I think it was one of those where that, we were making fun of those girls and she's like, I work at DeBella's. DeBella's, then we were like, what's good there? The Tana Hague?

• 1:04:06H. Foley?

  Tana Hague. Tana Hague in Rochester, but it's delicious.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Are you garbage if you load your grandfather's ashes into a shotgun shell and give him a three-gun salute? Listen.

• 1:04:20H. Foley?

  How'd he even do that? You know how to, you know how to.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  You gotta make your own bullets there.

• 1:04:25H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  I think more people, more hillbillies.

• 1:04:29H. Foley?

  No, how to.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  More country people. I think specifically shotgun shells are like easier in my loose understanding. Yeah. You can press your own shotgun shell. They're like big.

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  I think that one is, out of making bullets, that one's the most common, cause it's like somewhat, the shells, like you can just, I've seen YouTube shorts on it, so I don't really know, but.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  Ah, yes.

• 1:04:50H. Foley?

  Sounds like the American.

• 1:04:51Speaker 02

  That's the easiest one to repress.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  I don't, yeah, I don't, I don't think they're like crazy pressurized and as fucking, as like a, you know, nine mil or something.

• 1:04:58H. Foley?

  You make your own ammo? You make your own ammo?

• 1:05:01Speaker 01

  Do I make my own ammo? No, I don't.

• 1:05:03H. Foley?

  Put the Teflon tip on?

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  Cop killers.

• 1:05:07H. Foley?

  Danny Glover?

• 1:05:08Speaker 01

  No?

• 1:05:09H. Foley?

  Is it weapon 3?

• 1:05:10Speaker 01

  I got you.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  I got you. I didn't know what you were saying at first. I thought this was an allusion to the paintball video that's available on Patreon.com. No, that's what I thought you were doing.

• 1:05:20H. Foley?

  Fair enough.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  Um, did you see there's a video going around of a fat guy reloading his paintballs? Did you ever see that?

• 1:05:26H. Foley?

  No.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  They're upside down on his belly. He's got a bunch of canisters and they're all upside down and he opens it and every time... Everybody was tagging us. Every time he opens it, by the time he gets it there, it's all just dumped on the ground.

• 1:05:37H. Foley?

  That was the hardest part. Those things are slippery.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:05:40H. Foley?

  Brutal.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  I want to do it again. We should film it again. I want to do... I gotta get my own mask.

• 1:05:46H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  Dude, I was fogged up. I'm a mouth breather and I just fucking...

• 1:05:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  If you don't know, you're just getting hit up.

• 1:05:53H. Foley?

  Tactical gear. She got her own gear.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  Also, everybody said, specifically as a team, but a little bit of you of some foul play.

• 1:06:01H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  Of the "I'm out, I'm hit" and then you would continue to shoot 42 more times and then go, "Oh, I'm sorry about that."

• 1:06:08H. Foley?

  Oh, you mean, oh, that...

• 1:06:09Speaker 01

  I go, "I'm hit" and then you go, "Dude," it would just... I'm also... I think you...

• 1:06:14H. Foley?

  I hate you.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  I think... Fair enough. I thought you didn't hear me. So I'm like, "I'm hit."

• 1:06:20H. Foley?

  I heard you.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  And I hear you. Dude, now I have Luke's footage of you fucking watching and going...

• 1:06:25H. Foley?

  I did that to everybody, hell.

• 1:06:27Speaker 01

  Rubbing your fucking little fat paws together.

• 1:06:30H. Foley?

  I gotta make sure you're dead. I can't go walking by and have you jump up and stab me.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  Like every movie ever. It's like the fucking every...

• 1:06:39H. Foley?

  You did the same thing.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  He's trying to get up.

• 1:06:41H. Foley?

  You did the same... Yeah, right.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  I got you in a face.

• 1:06:43H. Foley?

  Cause I would yell. I'd be like, "I fucking, I'm out."

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  That was aftershock.

• 1:06:48H. Foley?

  That's warm.

• 1:06:49Speaker 01

  That's because I was making my own bullet. We gotta wrap it up.

• 1:06:52H. Foley?

  Yeah, that trash about the shotgun.

• 1:06:54Speaker 01

  Yes, but I respect it. That's...

• 1:06:56H. Foley?

  Respect it.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  That's a...

• 1:06:57H. Foley?

  Hell of a way to go.

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, respectable honorarium, memoriam of a deceased, uh, obviously dirtbag as well.

• 1:07:06H. Foley?

  Shout out to your grandpop.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:07:07H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you. See you next week.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  Peace.