Pod Insights Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast Naming Your Car! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley About this episode Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show!
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Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.
Steal shampoo from hotels?
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Transcript 12,600 words · 4 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 H. Foley? It's summertime gang and the boys are coming to your hometown. We're talking about Portland, Maine, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Cleveland, Ohio. Grab the squad, let's all hang out, play a little AYG, some stand-up comedy. It's gonna be a fun, fun time.
0:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, then the boys are headed to Atlantic City, baby. Down there on a boardwalk. King of the Boards returns to South Jersey. Philadelphia people, Jersey people, get your tickets to Atlantic City. Also Denver, Colorado, those tickets are selling very fast. Those will sell out, get them, will be there in July. Love yous, mean it, bye.
0:30 H. Foley? Let's go. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
0:38 Speaker 01 Oh yeah.
0:39 H. Foley? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a group to be classy.
0:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:43 H. Foley? But they're just a big old piece of trash.
0:46 Speaker 01 Garbage.
0:47 H. Foley? I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in the new edition. Summertime, maybe not officially.
0:55 Speaker 01 Okay.
0:55 H. Foley? But it's summertime.
0:56 Speaker 01 Alright.
0:57 H. Foley? You know, I know that.
0:58 Speaker 01 Why?
0:58 H. Foley? Cause the ne'er's been brought out.
1:00 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:01 H. Foley? Been all cleaned up.
1:02 Speaker 01 On you or her?
1:03 H. Foley? What?
1:04 Speaker 01 I don't know. How do you know that it's all been cleaned up?
1:06 H. Foley? She told me.
1:07 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:08 H. Foley? Plus the hair all over the bathroom.
1:09 Speaker 01 I don't know what you guys are talking about when I'm not there.
1:11 H. Foley? Looks like Sasquatch got caught in there, got caught in a glue trap in the bathroom. And she's out back.
1:17 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
1:17 H. Foley? In that leopard bikini she got in 1983.
1:20 Speaker 01 I gotta be honest with you, it sounds like you got a bit of a thing for Aunt Toody.
1:22 H. Foley? What are you talking about?
1:23 Speaker 01 I don't know.
1:24 H. Foley? I'm painting a picture for the audience.
1:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, you think, slipping out of your seat over there.
1:28 H. Foley? I'm not saying she wasn't something back in the day.
1:30 Speaker 01 Bounce a quarter off that thing.
1:31 H. Foley? Whew, man, you catch her at limelight back in the eighties.
1:34 Speaker 01 Alright, I think you like her.
1:36 H. Foley? What are you talking about?
1:37 Speaker 01 You got a bit of a thing for her.
1:39 H. Foley? Anyway, she's sunbathing outside.
1:40 Speaker 01 Great.
1:41 H. Foley? Topless. My co-host is coming, eh, from across the tables. We call it a family episode, ladies and gentlemen, just the boys, the bozos and the homies, just the way we like it.
1:49 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:49 H. Foley? He is my best pal in the whole wide world.
1:52 Speaker 01 What?
1:53 H. Foley? Bit of an international businessman.
1:54 Speaker 01 Huh?
1:55 H. Foley? Yeah. CEO of Are You Garbage?
1:58 Speaker 01 Ah, no, I think it's-
1:59 H. Foley? CFO.
2:00 Speaker 01 I don't know if, I think that my, on the documents, my title's president.
2:05 H. Foley? Is it?
2:06 Speaker 01 Think so.
2:06 H. Foley? Wait, really?
2:07 Speaker 01 What?
2:07 H. Foley? What am I? VP?
2:09 Speaker 01 I don't think you have a title.
2:11 H. Foley? I don't have a title?
2:12 Speaker 01 You're a partner.
2:13 H. Foley? Partner, that's pretty good.
2:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, you like that, don't you?
2:18 H. Foley? I can only take pictures back to back.
2:22 H. Foley? Kevin Ryan is here, ladies and gentlemen.
2:23 Speaker 01 What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available there, over there on Spotify, and the boys are climbing the charts, baby!
2:33 H. Foley? Wait, let me check that? Yes, we are.
2:35 Speaker 01 Woo! And then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/rugarbage. You go over there, you get all that frickin' bonus content, gang. You might be sitting there, "I don't know what bonus content is." Get over there and frickin' find out!
2:48 H. Foley? And you get the camaraderie of 15,000 homies.
2:51 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
2:52 H. Foley? Like-minded dirtballs, just like yourself. You've been looking for a family, looking for people.
2:57 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
2:58 H. Foley? Like yourself your whole life. You'll find it over there on a Patreon at the RU Garbage page.
3:03 Speaker 01 I just said this. You were in the bathroom. I was, uh...
3:05 H. Foley? That's the second time you said that today.
3:07 Speaker 01 What?
3:07 H. Foley? Before, you were like, "You were in the bathroom or something." I wasn't in the bathroom that time you were talking earlier. Now you're saying I was in the bathroom now.
3:14 Speaker 01 I don't even know what we're referencing. What do you mean?
3:16 H. Foley? You said last-
3:16 Speaker 01 You... What?
3:17 H. Foley? You said last night you were having a conversation with somebody, and you were like, "You were in the bathroom."
3:21 Speaker 01 I said you might have left, or maybe you were in the bathroom.
3:23 H. Foley? Yeah.
3:24 Speaker 01 Why do you take offense to that?
3:25 H. Foley? All right, you put me in the bathroom.
3:26 Speaker 01 You're... First of all-
3:27 H. Foley? I was in the bathroom here now!
3:28 Speaker 01 For how long?
3:29 H. Foley? I'm getting over being sick.
3:30 Speaker 01 Okay, so last night you couldn't have been in the bathroom as well?
3:32 H. Foley? Not there.
3:33 Speaker 01 Why? Why you get... You get real defensive over whether or not... No, I've never heard anybody draw a line.
3:38 H. Foley? I'm flunking off somewhere. Ah, you were getting cotton candy or something. I was probably doing push-ups.
3:43 Speaker 01 Sounds like a bit of a guilty conscience if we're being honest with you. I got... Yeah. I don't... You weren't there!
3:49 H. Foley? Right.
3:50 Speaker 01 Who knows what the fuck you were... The best thing is you were probably taking a deuce. That's the best thing I can hope for. Who knows what you're doing, and I don't have an eye on you.
3:57 H. Foley? Man.
3:58 Speaker 01 Um...
3:59 H. Foley? I'd like to know what you think I do.
4:01 Speaker 01 I've... Honestly, I've had to stop thinking about what I think you do. I've had to... I've had to, you know... What does Trump say? "I wish him the best." All right, what is it? "I wish him well."
4:12 H. Foley? Yeah.
4:13 Speaker 01 "I wish him well." And then I go, "Watch this drive."
4:16 H. Foley? Yeah.
4:16 Speaker 01 Yeah. Um... Yeah, I don't know, you know, who knows what?
4:20 H. Foley? In the past, sure, I understand.
4:22 Speaker 01 I don't know what Luke does when I leave here. I have a pretty good picture. You, I'm not sure. Diesel, I know, Mark the Shark.
4:29 H. Foley? Diesel makes sausages at the house.
4:30 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
4:31 H. Foley? Luke pulls tubes at the house.
4:33 Speaker 01 Rippin' bingers.
4:34 H. Foley? Yeah.
4:35 Speaker 01 Um, all that aside, though, we said like-minded people. I'm very shocked. Let me take a minute to address the army of garbage right here. I said this while you were taking a Duke in the bathroom.
4:44 H. Foley? Who's not?
4:45 Speaker 01 Yes, you were. Why are you denying?
4:46 H. Foley? I made a big mistake. I tried to make my own Manhattan special with, uh, orange flavored La Croix and coffee. It stinks.
4:53 Speaker 01 What's a Manhattan special?
4:54 H. Foley? Like a soda, uh, coffee soda.
4:57 Speaker 01 Is that a thing?
4:58 H. Foley? Yeah.
4:58 Speaker 01 Okay.
4:59 H. Foley? Very popular.
4:59 Speaker 01 Okay, I've never heard of it.
5:00 H. Foley? Among the Italian.
5:03 Speaker 01 Ah, okay.
5:03 H. Foley? This is bad. I feel like I've made arsenic.
5:07 Speaker 01 I can only hope. Um.
5:09 H. Foley? You'd like that, wouldn't you?
5:10 Speaker 01 But I was saying, uh, while you were in the bathroom, you were doing something. I don't know.
5:16 H. Foley? Yeah, I don't like this. I see a pattern forming.
5:19 Speaker 01 Is you in the bathroom a lot?
5:20 H. Foley? No, you're gonna be starting telling me that. I think Foley was in the bath. You're gonna start making me look like a dunskey in front of people. Every time something important happens, I'm in the bathroom. 9/11, in the bathroom.
5:30 Speaker 01 JFK, in the bathroom.
5:33 H. Foley? I'm missing everything.
5:34 Speaker 01 That's like, you're like the Far East Gump. You miss all like the huge moments of history because you're in the bed. You walk out, wow.
5:39 H. Foley? Woo!
5:41 H. Foley? What happened?
5:41 Speaker 01 Yeah. What I missed? Feds are running by you and shit like that. It's in black and white. Um.
5:48 H. Foley? Hey, you had a telepaper in there. I had a pressing issue. Go ahead. What do you got?
5:54 Speaker 01 Uh.
5:54 H. Foley? Address. The floor is yours.
5:56 Speaker 01 Thank you.
5:56 H. Foley? Listen up, dirtballs!
5:57 Speaker 01 I am shocked. Uh, and this is, I mean, also this is coming out. Uh, we had the, uh, AYG and Friends a few nights ago. Uh.
6:04 H. Foley? How about that?
6:05 Speaker 01 I'm, yes.
6:06 H. Foley? Luke, how about that?
6:07 Speaker 01 How about that?
6:10 Speaker 01 Very nice. How about that?
6:12 H. Foley? Something else.
6:14 Speaker 01 And obviously, this is a Manhattan, uh, we're in Manhattan, a little more swankier, a little upper echelon, a little bit of, I was shocked at the amount of classy people who, I mean, at least appear classy, that are fans of the show.
6:29 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
6:29 Speaker 01 I was just walking, I was walking here, parked the car, I'm walking here with Hansy Ponzie.
6:33 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
6:35 Speaker 01 Beautiful girl, gets walking out of a, of a cool coffee place.
6:38 H. Foley? What'd you say?
6:39 Speaker 01 Beautiful girl.
6:39 H. Foley? A beautiful girl.
6:40 Speaker 01 I was quoting you.
6:42 H. Foley? Thank you.
6:42 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
6:43 H. Foley? An attractive young lady.
6:44 Speaker 01 An attractive young lady, younger than, you know, me or you.
6:49 H. Foley? Sure.
6:49 Speaker 01 Probably Luke's age. Young, somebody Luke would hang out with.
6:53 H. Foley? Huh.
6:54 Speaker 01 Walks out, dressed well, going to her job or something, something, you know, meanwhile, Hans is pooping, I don't have a fucking, I don't have a poop bag. That's where, that's where I'm at.
7:03 H. Foley? You have one sneaker on?
7:06 Speaker 01 She puts change in my coffee cup. And, uh, she goes, huge fan of the pod. And I just, it's like, nice to see the garbage that I don't think people are garbage, necessarily.
7:17 H. Foley? You just let the leash go, start following her?
7:18 Speaker 01 Oh, there you go.
7:21 Speaker 01 My friends in a bathroom.
7:24 H. Foley? Yeah, folks up in the bathroom, they're gonna fool themselves.
7:26 Speaker 01 Uh, yeah, no, it's just very, I'm always shocked when you see some people, obviously, people are better than themselves, maybe, you don't know what she came from, you don't know what she is, really, but it's just, uh, you were mentioning the 15,000 strong in the community. The community is deeper and stronger than I've ever anticipated, or really thought about.
7:42 H. Foley? And diverse.
7:43 Speaker 01 And multicultural.
7:44 H. Foley? But with one commonality, we are all garbage.
7:47 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
7:48 H. Foley? Which is nice.
7:49 Speaker 01 Yes.
7:49 H. Foley? It's very nice. It's a very popular program, as you say.
7:53 Speaker 01 It is.
7:54 H. Foley? You know? Kids, jocks.
7:56 Speaker 01 I don't think kids, I got the demographics back.
7:58 H. Foley? Not kids, I didn't mean kids.
7:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, okay.
7:59 H. Foley? Younger.
8:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:02 H. Foley? What?
8:04 H. Foley? I could use a bathroom.
8:05 Speaker 01 Okay. Um, but all that being said, if you're new to the
8:08 H. Foley? There are high school kids, sorry, there are high school kids that watch this though.
8:11 Speaker 01 I'm sure.
8:11 H. Foley? I just seen a couple at the bagel shop, couple of kids that were cut in school, trying to go out to Long Beach to go surfing, but they can't because the L I double R is down.
8:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:21 H. Foley? I was like, go to Coney Island. I'm like, ah, I can't surf out there. I was like, yeah, you're telling me, bro.
8:26 Speaker 01 Did you, ha, what, okay.
8:29 H. Foley? What?
8:29 Speaker 01 I don't know.
8:30 H. Foley? See, you start this shit.
8:31 Speaker 01 I didn't say.
8:32 H. Foley? What?
8:32 Speaker 01 I don't know, I'm sorry. It's not every day you tell me you're talking to surfing teenagers. You gotta get me. You gotta, you gotta let me pry a little bit.
8:40 H. Foley? Wasn't the Beach Boys.
8:41 Speaker 01 I, well, I mean, I don't bump into surfing teenagers that often, right?
8:45 H. Foley? They didn't have like their boards on them and shit like that.
8:47 Speaker 01 Okay.
8:47 H. Foley? There's a couple, there were kids hanging out, there were three high school kids.
8:50 Speaker 01 Cut in school.
8:51 H. Foley? Cut in class, that's right.
8:53 Speaker 01 I respect that.
8:54 H. Foley? Me too.
8:54 Speaker 01 You see that in New York and it makes you think, you go, who the fuck are, where are your parents?
8:59 H. Foley? Probably working.
9:00 Speaker 01 Yeah. Badass little kids running around, fucking.
9:03 H. Foley? You never cut class? Smoking dope?
9:06 Speaker 01 I tried one time and I wrapped my car around a telephone pole.
9:09 H. Foley? You never cut school?
9:10 Speaker 01 Never again.
9:11 H. Foley? Wait, really?
9:12 Speaker 01 I tried in 10th grade, I was 16. We were going to, we were cutting school, we were, we had beers. And we were gonna get drunk and go to Rice's, the flea market, shout out Rice's, every Tuesday and Saturday, I think.
9:24 H. Foley? Yeah.
9:25 Speaker 01 You're gonna go, you know, we had heaters, you're gonna go get like a
9:27 H. Foley? All your Chinese star needs.
9:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, butterfly knife, whatever, cool.
9:31 H. Foley? Um, chucks.
9:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, probably a bowl or something.
9:33 H. Foley? Titty pins.
9:34 Speaker 01 Cool, good shit. And, um, I skipped school, I was, uh, I wrapped my, I wrapped my first Lumina around a telephone pole in my neighborhood.
9:43 H. Foley? Hmm.
9:43 Speaker 01 And, uh,
9:44 H. Foley? Were you drunk?
9:45 Speaker 01 No, no.
9:47 H. Foley? Icy?
9:48 Speaker 01 No.
9:49 H. Foley? Speeding?
9:49 Speaker 01 Sneezed.
9:52 H. Foley? Really?
9:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:53 H. Foley? Wow.
9:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, I was turning. Right, I was whipping work as the kid said, now I'm driving the bus, I'm turning. And I, I sneezed and when I came up, I hadn't gone all the way back. And that pole was staring down the barrel.
10:08 H. Foley? And you really wrapped it around it, or is that just a figure?
10:10 Speaker 01 I could, no, I could have touched it. Like, I, it fucking just crunch right up the middle. That airbag went off, those old school airbags.
10:17 H. Foley? Hit you.
10:19 Speaker 01 Like I felt like I let off a fucking bottle rocket in that thing.
10:21 H. Foley? Damn, he never cut school. Cut school all the time.
10:24 Speaker 01 I was, I also, my, I mean, you know, a little bit of a broken home. My mom would go to work and I would just go, hey, uh, she would be at work a lot when I left. When I was supposed to go to school, I'd just go, I'm not go, I'm sick, I'm not going today. Okay, whatever.
10:36 H. Foley? That's cutting school.
10:37 Speaker 01 Yeah. But the one, yeah, when I tried to like-
10:40 H. Foley? Twelve bowls of cereal later.
10:41 Speaker 01 That and my dad, I'd be like, ah, dad, I'm sick or whatever, you know. But never like, I tried at sixteen and it fucking ended terribly. I had the fucking, ah, fucking Irish Catholic, you know. That was God telling me, go to class. And I listened. To our mighty father.
11:00 H. Foley? You had to come out of the fucking Wuhan lab to get out of fucking, going to school with Patty.
11:05 Speaker 01 Uh, no, we, nobody cared. Nobody cared.
11:07 H. Foley? Vicious.
11:11 Speaker 01 My nieces and nephews are like, oh, well, like, we talk about like, oh, let's go on vacation. Like, well, the kids have school. I'm like, fucking who, what are we taught with school?
11:17 H. Foley? Yeah.
11:18 Speaker 01 Take them out for, like, yeah, you can't, that shit don't fucking matter anymore. It's not the twenties, dude. They're learning on-
11:25 H. Foley? I disagree. I hated those kids. You know who I bet did that?
11:29 Speaker 01 Who? Yeah, Luke went to fucking a chateau or something. Get more experience that way. Sure, I get it. What the fuck, they, what are they gonna read a fucking dingy textbook? Get the fuck out of here. Get, get out there, be, go to Poconos. Great Wolf Lodge.
11:42 H. Foley? And you would be able to collect your studies and, and get all your work done before you left or whatever?
11:47 Speaker 01 Gotta learn how to drink around the world somehow. Yeah, you got, yeah, that's an experience, dude.
11:52 H. Foley? My parents would, I mean, we were vacation-
11:54 Speaker 01 Maybe they should have a little bit. You'll be a little more cultured. Wouldn't be in a bathroom so much.
11:57 H. Foley? There's nothing they can do about it now.
11:59 Speaker 01 You can go back to school.
12:01 H. Foley? I should go back to school.
12:02 Speaker 01 I said that. We should enroll you in, I mean, we tried to enroll you in college and you said it was Juilliard or nothing, I believe, was what it was.
12:09 H. Foley? Yeah.
12:10 Speaker 01 You guys were supposed to do a creative writing course.
12:12 H. Foley? Yeah.
12:13 Speaker 01 Okay, we'll move on from that.
12:15 H. Foley? Bit tiffing a little bit. The kid.
12:18 Speaker 01 You and most people. But all that's neither here nor there, gang. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hand. As you guys know, when you join the old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air.
12:29 H. Foley? That's right.
12:29 Speaker 01 Um, and we got one two tree humdingers around here.
12:32 H. Foley? I like that.
12:33 Speaker 01 Um, this is just a good one. This is from Marty. Also, great trashy name. Shout out Marty.
12:39 H. Foley? Marty.
12:39 Speaker 01 I always think of Big Marty's Carpet in Philadelphia, which I think you said you didn't know, but Big Marty's Carpet was big.
12:45 H. Foley? Yeah, Marty's a good guy.
12:46 Speaker 01 Um.
12:47 H. Foley? Just Marty in general. You know Marty? Obviously Marty McFly.
12:50 Speaker 01 I don't think I ever knew a Marty.
12:52 H. Foley? Never knew a Marty? My first, my second car was named Martin, because I got it from Martin Honda.
12:58 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm. I don't think that's a person.
13:01 H. Foley? Yeah, it is.
13:03 Speaker 01 Your car wasn't named. I mean, I said I never knew a Marty and you're, you said my car was, I knew Mar- you're, yeah.
13:10 H. Foley? Martin.
13:10 Speaker 01 Okay.
13:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's not the guy I know. I don't, I didn't know him.
13:16 H. Foley? No, I'm saying, there's a guy named Marty, Martin, that ran the dealership, not fucking the cars, a person.
13:22 Speaker 01 I thought you did, I tell you Spider, did you name the car Marty?
13:26 H. Foley? No, I thought it Martin.
13:29 H. Foley? It was formal.
13:30 Speaker 01 Hey, Mr. My, that's Mr. Um, yeah, I never knew a Marty. It's an older name, I feel. It was just a little, uh.
13:37 H. Foley? Sure. You ever know a Henry?
13:40 Speaker 01 No.
13:40 H. Foley? Huh. Plenty of Kevins around.
13:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, this place is lousy with Kevins. Um.
13:48 H. Foley? Like mosquitoes on a hot summer night.
13:50 Speaker 01 No Henrys. Henry's coming back now. Henry's a big name.
13:53 H. Foley? Yeah, I know.
13:53 Speaker 01 When we were looking for the baby, Henry's a big name.
13:55 H. Foley? I, you know, that's.
13:56 Speaker 01 Does that bother you or does that ma- does that make you proud?
13:58 H. Foley? It's flattering, I would say.
14:01 H. Foley? You know?
14:01 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
14:02 H. Foley? Appreciate it.
14:03 Speaker 01 Flattering. How so? But you go by H. No one knows your name's Henry.
14:07 H. Foley? I know. People think it's Herman.
14:10 Speaker 01 Could it be? Could be. Herman Foley? I, I've never seen anything to prove other.
14:16 H. Foley? Name one Irishman you know named Herman.
14:19 Speaker 01 I don't know one Irishman named H either.
14:21 H. Foley? That's right.
14:22 Speaker 01 Aye, man.
14:24 Speaker 01 The Italian, ain't ya?
14:25 H. Foley? Uh, no, I get it. It's, it's, things are cyclical like that.
14:29 Speaker 01 Families are always rising and falling in America, huh?
14:31 H. Foley? Yeah.
14:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:31 H. Foley? Same fucking rats that used to make fun of me in fucking, uh, elementary school now calling their kids Henry.
14:37 Speaker 01 Bitch.
14:40 Speaker 01 You should talk to that therapist about letting go.
14:43 H. Foley? I was talking to him today.
14:44 Speaker 01 I know. You fucking dropped a bomb on me right before we pressed record.
14:48 H. Foley? I just, I thought I said something nice to you. You know, I can't win with these kids.
14:52 Speaker 01 Oh, here we go. The guy who always says, "I can't win", is typically at fault. "I can't fucking win with these kids. Never catch a fucking break."
15:04 H. Foley? Sounds like something to step that. "I can't fucking win with these kids."
15:07 Speaker 01 My dad was the king of "I can't catch a fucking break." I remember saying it at like 16 and someone looking at me like, "What?"
15:19 Speaker 01 "I can't catch a fucking break!", pointing at the windshield.
15:24 Speaker 01 "I can't catch a fucking break."
15:27 H. Foley? I said chili fries.
15:28 Speaker 01 I remember I was getting, I remember one time I screamed it the most and my buddy was in the car next to me. And, uh, my, I was getting ready to move to New York. I was selling, I was getting the Montego ready to sell. Classing it up. Vinny with the skinny was gonna sell that for me. He had a prime piece of real estate. He was gonna park it there, put a for sale sign in. Never happened. But I was getting ready to sell it and as, cause that was like in my head, that was gonna be like eight grand.
15:52 H. Foley? Eight grand you thought you were gonna get for that?
15:54 Speaker 01 At the time, maybe.
15:55 H. Foley? Huh.
15:56 Speaker 01 Six? I take five? They're negotiating against me. What do you got on you? Um, no. I was trying, that was gonna be my big cash windfall.
16:08 H. Foley? Right.
16:09 Speaker 01 You know what I mean?
16:09 H. Foley? Of course.
16:10 Speaker 01 That'd still be pretty good.
16:11 H. Foley? You'd be still floating off that.
16:12 Speaker 01 Uh huh. And, uh, man, imagine how quick I would have blown that when I moved to New York.
16:17 H. Foley? Would've been a cool couple of months, though. All the meatballs, I can see.
16:21 Speaker 01 Woo doggy. You ain't lying.
16:23 H. Foley? You'd have been taking cabs and shit.
16:25 Speaker 01 Everything.
16:27 H. Foley? Eventually it would've, it would've evened itself out.
16:29 Speaker 01 Sure.
16:30 H. Foley? There was, there was no way. I was telling my cousin this. I was like, listen, stop like trying to prepare for this. I'm like, if you wanna take a step into this, accept the fact that you were going to be fucking poor.
16:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:46 H. Foley? And it is going to fucking suck.
16:48 Speaker 01 That's a guy still talking to himself.
16:51 Speaker 01 Even if you get money, you're gonna blow.
16:53 H. Foley? As I'm taking money out of his wallet.
16:55 Speaker 01 Oh, you're a good kid. Um, yeah, you gotta just live in the sense of like, it's never gonna work out. But you have to believe it's gonna work out at the same time. It's kinda weird. You really gotta be crazy to make it. You really gotta be dumb as rocks and fucking young, dumb and full of gum. What? Um, but my windshield's cracked like two days before I was getting ready to polish it up.
17:19 H. Foley? Can't win.
17:20 Speaker 01 I went, I can't catch a fucking break. I literally remember, I was like, who are you?
17:25 H. Foley? Yeah.
17:26 Speaker 01 I was just like, nah, you ain't gonna catch a break with that attitude. Putting that out in the universe.
17:30 H. Foley? You ever get caught, you ever get caught with that somebody else? What the fuck are you, what? Catch a break? You fucking.
17:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:37 H. Foley? You're healthy.
17:38 Speaker 01 I just, I, I've tried to say this. The only thing I know about how to be a dad is to like come home and complain about construction work.
17:45 H. Foley? You been doing that?
17:46 Speaker 01 That's all I know. That's like what a dad.
17:47 H. Foley? Pretty crazy.
17:48 Speaker 01 What a dad does is comes home like the electrician, the fucking permits, breaking my bolt, like, you know? That's all I know what a dad is. Comes home and you go, how is work? And they dump all of the job site politics on you.
18:00 H. Foley? Hmm.
18:01 Speaker 01 And, you know, and or what GCs aren't paying. Eh, fuck, I submitted my invoice in fucking January. Still waiting on January.
18:07 H. Foley? Had a little, little glass of scotch or something?
18:10 Speaker 01 Nah, Michelob Coors Light, yeah. They were both of, both my parental, they were beer drinkers.
18:17 H. Foley? Kevin, talk about Hexclad.
18:19 Speaker 01 Shout out to Hexclad.
18:20 H. Foley? You don't know Hexclad, do you? Best, best, best pans in the world?
18:23 Speaker 01 Woo, I was, I got, I bought Hexclad before they were a sponsor. That's how much I like Hexclad.
18:27 H. Foley? State of the art technology, am I right?
18:28 Speaker 01 I believe so.
18:29 H. Foley? You know what it makes me think of?
18:30 Speaker 01 What's that?
18:31 H. Foley? It's springtime, going into the summer.
18:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:34 H. Foley? A lot of people, they change the, uh, the storm windows. They put the screens in, they clean out the closets, they clean out this, they clean up that. You know what? You don't do enough, get rid of the old pans.
18:46 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
18:47 H. Foley? Get rid of those old Teflon, bad for you, scratched up pans and get yourself a set of Hexclad. Get fresh, get ready, you feel good cooking with them.
18:57 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
18:58 H. Foley? Do yourself a favor. We don't lie. Hexclad, baby.
19:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, this is a great thing. If your pan makes cooking harder instead of easier.
19:05 H. Foley? Ooh.
19:05 Speaker 01 So many pans I had before I got Hexclad, that was, I would just call, the eggs are sticking this, the that, it's messy, it makes cleaning up easy. Dude, you couldn't get super glue to stick to this stuff, saying that jokingly, obviously.
19:16 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
19:17 Speaker 01 Uh, they have over 1 million customers and over 50,000 5-star reviews. The secret is out, baby. There's a reason Gordon Ramsay uses Hexclad at home and in his restaurants. They are, and he's the toughest critic on the planet. Uh, don't go through another spring using the same busted ass pans you should have thrown out years ago. I added ass. For a limited time only, our listeners get 10% off your order with our exclusive link. Just head to hexclad.com/garbage. Support the show and check out hexclad.com, H-E-X-C-L-A-D dot com forward slash garbage. Make sure to let them know the boy sent you a spring clean your kitchen a smart way with Hexclad.
19:52 H. Foley? Do it. Kip, I want to tell them about Shopify.
19:56 Speaker 01 Shopify, Shopify, Shopify.
19:57 H. Foley? Now, you know, I don't handle much of the business end of stuff.
19:59 Speaker 01 What?
20:00 H. Foley? But I gotta tell you, I love that Shopify.
20:03 Speaker 01 Woo.
20:03 H. Foley? It's, I understand it. It's easy for me. Gang, you want to accelerate your efficiency, do yourself a favor and get Shopify. Whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product for dogger.
20:24 Speaker 01 I mean.
20:25 H. Foley? Even a Foley could do it.
20:26 Speaker 01 Yeah. Uh, Shopify is the, uh, commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the US, which is crazy. From household names, from household names like are you garbage dot com? You go over there, we're a gosh darn Shopify, baby. We're not only the sponsors, we're the, we're the player president, or what's the, our clientele too.
20:48 H. Foley? Yeah.
20:49 Speaker 01 Use it. We've been using it since before they were a sponsor. It's time to turn those what ifs into cha-ching with Shopify today. Sign up for, uh, your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/garbage. Just go to Shopify.com/garbage. I'm gonna say it one more time. Get a pen, get a pencil. Shopify.com/garbage.
21:08 H. Foley? Do it. If I got you a briefcase, would you use it?
21:13 Speaker 01 No, I kinda have one. Luke kinda made fun of it, so I didn't really, I-
21:17 H. Foley? Have I ever seen it?
21:18 Speaker 01 Is that like your-
21:19 H. Foley? Attache?
21:20 Speaker 01 Yeah. What?
21:22 H. Foley? I've never seen this.
21:23 Speaker 01 I used it once. I took it to Soul Joel's. And Luke was like, "Yeah!"
21:28 H. Foley? I arrived separately at Soul.
21:29 Speaker 01 I rec- I recall.
21:32 H. Foley? What does it look like?
21:34 Speaker 01 It's just like a satch- it's like a big a- like a- like a laptop bag. Remember like the old like- It's like an over the shoulder lap- it's-
21:41 H. Foley? Like in The Postman with Kevin Costner?
21:44 Speaker 01 He had a laptop?
21:45 H. Foley? No, but he had a satchel.
21:47 Speaker 01 Not a satch- like, well, you would put a- imagine like a laptop. Like a soft briefcase.
21:50 H. Foley? Like my army ba- my army bag that I used to have?
21:53 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
21:54 H. Foley? Like that?
21:55 Speaker 01 No, it's like a fucking-
21:57 H. Foley? Kept my grenades in there.
22:00 H. Foley? I'm talking like an old school bri- like a briefcase.
22:03 Speaker 01 I don't wanna carry a briefcase. I don't wanna have to carry a bag.
22:05 H. Foley? Throw it down, it's full. Loosen your tie. Give the wife a kiss, smack on the butt.
22:12 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
22:13 H. Foley? Go over smoke the beans.
22:14 Speaker 01 Uh huh, is that what you think life is? That's crazy.
22:19 H. Foley? It's not what happy people do.
22:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's- yeah, it's um- I do have a little bit of a version of that. I come home from the old fucking content factory here. Fight fucking traffic, breaking my balls. I get in, she's like, "Can you stop and get diapers?" I said, "I just bought diapers."
22:38 H. Foley? Really?
22:39 Speaker 01 Yeah!
22:39 H. Foley? You get that?
22:40 Speaker 01 What?
22:41 H. Foley? On the way home?
22:42 Speaker 01 Can I stop and get diapers? And I said, "Yeah, it doesn't bother me." Would that bother you? I think it- See, there's a thing-
22:50 H. Foley? No, not my- not diapers.
22:53 Speaker 01 I mean, your first reaction seemed like it bothered-
22:56 H. Foley? Well, what the fuck she been doing all day?
22:58 Speaker 01 Oh, that's crazy. You are such a piece of shit, dude. It's crazy. It's wild.
23:05 H. Foley? I don't need fucking diapers.
23:06 Speaker 01 There's also a thing, you wanna help.
23:08 H. Foley? No, I understand.
23:09 Speaker 01 I don't think you do. I think you understand that I'm talking to you. I don't think you're fucking-
23:15 H. Foley? Yeah. No, diapers, of course.
23:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I'm- I'm happy if I- if I get out of the car, I go, "Hey, do you- I'm- you know, do we need anything?"
23:22 H. Foley? I've gotten hit with like, "Can you grab a laundry detergent or something?" It's like, "What?"
23:28 Speaker 01 You are.
23:29 H. Foley? Yeah, I'm the problem.
23:31 Speaker 01 For sure. You're not the solution.
23:34 Speaker 01 Um, yeah, that's something you do, right? You gotta give me a little backup. Obvious. Yeah, right? I mean, if somebody goes, hey, can you stop at the store? You're out.
23:44 H. Foley? What if he was like, nah, fuck that shit, dog? No, you know what I'll get?
23:48 Speaker 02 Fabric softener, I got you.
23:50 H. Foley? Why?
23:51 Speaker 02 Bullshit.
23:53 H. Foley? It's all parapins or whatever they're called.
23:55 Speaker 01 Is that the stuff that goes in?
23:58 H. Foley? Huh?
23:58 Speaker 01 What's the liquid fabric softener?
24:00 H. Foley? I don't fuck with that.
24:01 Speaker 02 I mean, there's liquid fa- most, I only know it as-
24:04 Speaker 01 That goes in the washer?
24:05 H. Foley? Really?
24:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, that goes in the washer-
24:06 H. Foley? Dryer sheets!
24:08 Speaker 02 No, that's in the dryer.
24:10 H. Foley? That's fabric softener.
24:11 Speaker 02 No, it's not.
24:12 H. Foley? The fuck is it?
24:12 Speaker 02 It's anti-wrinkle technically, but-
24:14 H. Foley? Nah, nah, nah.
24:15 Speaker 01 I think it's called fabric softener.
24:16 Speaker 02 It's fabric, yeah.
24:17 H. Foley? What's fabric softener?
24:18 Speaker 01 The dryer sheets?
24:19 H. Foley? Yeah, that's a fabric softener.
24:20 Speaker 01 I think you can do either one.
24:23 H. Foley? I don't fuck with that shit in the, in the, in the washing machine.
24:26 Speaker 01 Nah, looks like milk. Woolly or whatever the fuck that shit was?
24:30 H. Foley? No, Woolly's different.
24:30 Speaker 01 Whatever, I don't-
24:31 H. Foley? Woolly's a gentle cleanser for your unmentionables. Your panties, your negligees.
24:35 Speaker 01 Okay, I got you. Alright.
24:37 H. Foley? Hot chicks will put it in the, they soak it in their bathroom sink.
24:40 Speaker 02 Uh huh. The dryer sheets are fabric softener.
24:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
24:42 H. Foley? Thank you!
24:43 Speaker 01 I, I never knew, like, Cottonet was, no, what's the one with the snuggly bear?
24:48 Speaker 02 I think Cottonet, right?
24:49 Speaker 01 No, that's toilet paper.
24:50 H. Foley? Snuggles!
24:50 Speaker 01 Snug, yeah, but that wasn't the name, was it? Snuggles?
24:53 H. Foley? Yeah.
24:53 Speaker 01 That was the guy's name.
24:54 Speaker 02 No, fabric softener, yeah.
24:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's fa-
24:57 H. Foley? Was it Snuggles?
24:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
24:58 H. Foley? Yeah, Snuggles.
24:59 Speaker 01 We never had that.
24:59 H. Foley? No.
25:00 Speaker 01 I don't use dryer sheets.
25:01 H. Foley? Never had Mr. Bubbles either. You ever get Mr. Bubbles, the bubble bath?
25:04 Speaker 01 Maybe, like, well, we would, like, soap, you know, put some Dial in there.
25:08 H. Foley? Shake it up.
25:09 Speaker 01 You gotta fucking really wish your hand around.
25:10 H. Foley? We never got that, we never got Magic Shell. I always wanted Magic Shell.
25:13 Speaker 01 I don't know what that is.
25:14 Speaker 02 We had Magic Shell.
25:15 Speaker 01 Oh, is that the thing that, that hardens? Nah, you'd have to fucking, I don't know what you'd have to do for Denise to shell over the extra five nights-
25:23 H. Foley? That shit blew my fucking mind. Or hot fudge, never got hot fudge. Get Hershey syrup, which I appreciate, but, you know.
25:33 Speaker 02 My nana had a hot fudge recipe.
25:35 H. Foley? Really?
25:36 Speaker 02 Yeah, kinda strange, yeah. My mom would put it in the, the mason jars and we'd always have it on deck.
25:42 Speaker 01 That's wild, dude.
25:44 H. Foley? You gotta be from old money for shit like that.
25:47 Speaker 01 Dude, mason jar, I didn't know what a ma- I didn't know what a mason jar was for like the long-
25:53 H. Foley? I thought it was for Bloody Marys.
25:56 Speaker 01 I didn't know, I didn't know, we didn't know what the fuck that was. No shit. I love hot fudge.
26:00 Speaker 02 I love my Nana's recipe.
26:03 Speaker 01 Can we get some, your mom make it?
26:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll bring some home.
26:06 Speaker 01 Hit me up, Mrs. Dempsey. He done.
26:09 H. Foley? Pretty good.
26:10 Speaker 01 What did your friends call your mom growing up?
26:12 Speaker 02 Mrs. Dempsey, yeah. So, I hated the friend who pushed, like, like you can use their first name.
26:19 Speaker 01 We've never, I don't have anybody.
26:20 Speaker 02 I still, even like my girlfriend's parents, they're like, "Call me by my first name." I'm like, "No, Mr. and Mrs."
26:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't, I don't call my in-laws.
26:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
26:30 H. Foley? Good kid. You don't call your in-laws what?
26:32 Speaker 01 By their first name.
26:34 H. Foley? What do you say, Mr. and Mrs. Whatever?
26:37 Speaker 01 I don't know what I say.
26:38 H. Foley? Why don't you call them Grandma and Grandpa or something?
26:40 Speaker 01 No, yeah.
26:42 Speaker 02 Or Mom and Dad, that's psycho shit.
26:44 Speaker 01 Hey, Mom, Dad. You know what else I don't like? You don't do, but like, I feel like I'd be with like my uncle and he would bump into a friend of his from the neighborhood or something and they'd be like, "Yeah, well, you know, we put Pop in a home," like, they refer, like, not, we had to put my dad in it, like, they just refer to him, there's no, no assignment of, what's that?
27:05 H. Foley? Yeah, but if you're married, if you're married to somebody for like 45 years, you know?
27:11 Speaker 01 I don't know.
27:12 Speaker 02 Still the in-laws.
27:13 Speaker 01 They call my, my, my brother-in-law, for the longest time, didn't know what to call my mom up until like very recent.
27:21 H. Foley? Hey, chief.
27:22 Speaker 01 So he would wait until like to make eye contact with her. He's like, Denise didn't feel right, Mom doesn't feel right.
27:29 H. Foley? No.
27:29 Speaker 01 So they call her Nisi Mom.
27:31 H. Foley? Nisi Mom, yeah. My wife's mom, I called her Mama, her name. But that was like more of like a cutie kind of thing.
27:39 Speaker 01 Sure.
27:39 H. Foley? But never growing up.
27:41 Speaker 01 No. No, even like now, like Pat's dad, I don't call any, it's like.
27:46 H. Foley? Call him Mr.
27:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Whatever. Nobody.
27:50 H. Foley? Kids now, they don't do that.
27:54 H. Foley? Hi Belinda.
27:55 Speaker 01 That's fucking nuts.
27:56 H. Foley? Slap the shit out of you.
27:58 Speaker 01 I, I was telling you, these kids are drinking at a very young age now and it's like very...
28:03 H. Foley? You think?
28:04 Speaker 01 I know it is.
28:05 H. Foley? Most of them are all bitched up.
28:06 Speaker 01 It's ver- and it's very like...
28:07 Speaker 02 It's European almost.
28:08 Speaker 01 The, the parents are like, "Okay, I'll get you a six pack of White Claw or what", and it's like...
28:13 H. Foley? They also all talked about too much shit in front of their kids.
28:16 Speaker 01 Well, it's like, think about it, it's like, it's a way significantly different generation of people. It's like us. You know what I mean? Like, think about like when fucking little kid Reno grows up, even at like seven, he's gonna be able to see hundreds of hours of content of me being a dickhead. You know?
28:33 H. Foley? If you let him.
28:34 Speaker 01 They'll find it. My nieces and nephews find it.
28:37 H. Foley? They do.
28:38 Speaker 01 Yeah. They start asking questions.
28:41 Speaker 01 Um, you know, how much does he weigh?
28:45 H. Foley? Nah-uh.
28:45 Speaker 01 Where are his, where are his teeth?
28:47 H. Foley? Nah-uh.
28:48 Speaker 01 Uh...
28:48 H. Foley? Little brats. See you next time.
28:53 Speaker 01 No, the, the one did say he does always play a fat guy and stuff. The one has seen you in a couple of things. I think he was watching Manifest? Or Gotham?
29:01 H. Foley? Are you fucking with me?
29:02 Speaker 01 No, I swear to God. It's always nice to meet you.
29:05 H. Foley? Well, I'm, I'm fat. Of course I'm gonna play a fat guy. I'm not fucking gain or lose weight for a fucking day player role.
29:11 Speaker 01 That's not how, that's not how show business works, dickhead. How you get back to school, alright? Stop fucking watching his old ass TV shows.
29:19 H. Foley? Fuck.
29:20 Speaker 01 You got Netflix or something?
29:21 H. Foley? You got six months and a trainer to get ready for that kinda stuff. I could do that shit.
29:26 Speaker 01 Fucking the next Iron Man. Um... No, but... They're drinking at a young age, like... And they're like, "Oh yeah, hey, can, you know, we're going so", like drop me a, a fucking wild shit. I'm seeing this from my perifs, you know, my peripheral.
29:42 H. Foley? Drop me where we...
29:42 Speaker 01 Like, "Hey, drop me off in the woods", and the, like, parents will drop their kids off with like six packs and shit, like...
29:47 H. Foley? I've heard that too.
29:48 Speaker 01 Which like, does not fly... Did not fly when we were... And my, I was talking to my brother about it, my brother was like, "No, you gotta fucking..." Sneak. There has to be some sort of fuck, I don't, he's like, "I don't, like, I don't care if you're drinking", "But like, you're not gonna fucking, you still have to fucking try and hide it from me." And if I, if I catch you, I'm going to be upset, but like, you're not just fucking...
30:10 H. Foley? Your brother seems like, your brother seems like the kinda guy that would be pretty hard...
30:17 H. Foley? To sneak that by. I mean, how does he not know every trick?
30:20 Speaker 01 That's what I do. I always thought I'd be such a good cop. I'd be like, I'd be fuck, I'd be sniping every, I've broken every law in the book.
30:27 H. Foley? What, that would be your specialty, underage kids?
30:29 Speaker 01 Just anything. I also don't understand.
30:31 H. Foley? What are you guys doing over there?
30:32 Speaker 01 Dude, we'll be at like, the fucking pub, and there'll be, it'll be fucking 2am, last call, and there'll be 25 cars out front. I'm like, how are the cops just not pulling these fucking people over? I go, what do you think, they're all in there in front of the wings? It's 2, kitchen closed at midnight, dickhead.
30:48 Speaker 01 What do we do? I just don't understand.
30:51 H. Foley? You ever pull out of a bar, and there's the one cop across the street?
30:54 Speaker 01 All the duty.
30:55 H. Foley? Talk about nervous purvis.
30:56 Speaker 01 I would, dude, I'd let so many people go ahead of me. Fucking, hey, hey, send them to the gopher, dude. Get out of here. Yeah.
31:06 H. Foley? One pulls up, just like, eh!
31:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, you go left, alright, fucking. I call in a fucking tip on them too, hey. Stevie and the Buicks, if I had two, three spritzers. Uh, no, yeah, I didn't, uh, that was never, uh, I never understood, I thought I'd be, that's why I thought I'd be such a good cop. Fucking, little Kipperino's gonna have to get up pretty early in the morning to try to fool me. I guess she just stopped caring at some point, I don't fucking know.
31:28 H. Foley? Yeah.
31:29 Speaker 02 Nah, it's too much. They're creating like a generation of marks. It was kinda changing with my generation, but now it's like, the parents are buying the fake IDs for kids, they're taking the picture, it's like...
31:38 Speaker 01 Really?
31:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's crazy now.
31:40 Speaker 01 I had Denise take my picture, for my fake ID. I was 20. I was in cop, oh, we were a very big-
31:46 H. Foley? Did she know what you were doing?
31:48 Speaker 01 I told her, Vinnie, I told her, Vinnie was-
31:50 H. Foley? Wasn't for a dating website.
31:51 Speaker 01 I told her Vinnie was making an end of, end of the school year PowerPoint in front of a white back. She knew. My, my sis, like, this is for a fake ID. We were a very big, get to college.
32:04 Speaker 01 If you could get to college.
32:05 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
32:06 Speaker 01 It was all like, you could start drinking at a family party, or whatever. You know what I mean?
32:11 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
32:11 Speaker 01 That was, that was what it was.
32:15 H. Foley? The laws were looser when we were kids, when we were kids. You know, if you got caught at a, a party underage drinking, unless the cop was a real fucking dickhead, or you, you know, there was fucking, I don't know, weed or something like that there, or something harder. You know, they give you a misdemeanor.
32:33 H. Foley? And then it got like, things got real strict. Like, maybe like around your grades, or whatever. And now if the parents are loosening up again, isn't that a good thing? Like, what do you mean they're making marks? They don't have to work for it?
32:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, like, no one understands, like, how to buy weed anymore. No one under- it's like, oh, I could steal my parents' edibles, like...
32:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's just like, everything, the game has changed.
32:56 Speaker 02 They're gonna buy the White Claws for you, so you don't get in trouble at the liquor store figuring it out on your own.
33:01 Speaker 01 But then there's gonna be a correction of that.
33:04 Speaker 02 Cause then, I mean, the next generation's screwed.
33:07 H. Foley? Why?
33:07 Speaker 02 I mean, the, the parents never had to learn how to sneak around anything.
33:12 Speaker 01 They be buying their kids H.
33:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:14 Speaker 01 You know what I mean?
33:16 H. Foley? I figure you're gonna need that in future generations.
33:18 Speaker 01 Oh, that's what we're gonna need?
33:19 H. Foley? Yeah.
33:20 Speaker 01 Nah, I-
33:20 H. Foley? You're gonna need operators, you're gonna need guerrilla tactics. At a certain point, I believe.
33:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's a kid having their mom buy White Claws for them. That kid ain't a fucking operator. That little pansy ass bitch slapped that kid around.
33:30 H. Foley? No.
33:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
33:32 H. Foley? But we'd be more on that speed.
33:34 Speaker 02 What?
33:35 H. Foley? Operators.
33:36 Speaker 02 Yeah. We're gonna have a geriatric Delta Force, just all old operators.
33:41 H. Foley? I'm gonna rat you out to the Chinese.
33:43 Speaker 01 Go for it. Fucking take his arm, I'm a goddamn patriot. Give him my address. The Kanzi Ponzi on him. Uh, but listen, we gotta get a new family episode on our hands. All this fucking B-
33:53 H. Foley? You're in the middle of a question!
33:54 Speaker 01 Was I?
33:55 H. Foley? Yeah.
33:57 Speaker 01 I don't even think I got there.
33:58 H. Foley? You did!
33:59 Speaker 01 No, we got to Marty, and then we fucking-
34:00 H. Foley? Marty!
34:01 Speaker 01 Hey, I never got to the question.
34:02 H. Foley? Remember Marty?
34:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, fucking shout out to Big Marty's carpet.
34:04 H. Foley? Thank, thank, shout out to Martin, my Honda Accord.
34:07 Speaker 01 Wait, is the, I don't know-
34:09 H. Foley? What do you want from me?
34:10 Speaker 01 Is the car's name Martin?
34:12 H. Foley? The car's name was Martin.
34:13 Speaker 01 Okay.
34:13 H. Foley? We used to name our cars, and sometimes the name would come from wherever we got it.
34:17 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
34:17 H. Foley? Like, Martin Ford.
34:18 Speaker 01 Gotcha.
34:19 H. Foley? And if it had, it had the thing on it, I'd be like, oh, Martin.
34:22 Speaker 01 Gotcha, cool.
34:22 H. Foley? Or Murray. Murray, uh, Murray Ford.
34:26 Speaker 01 Murray Dodge.
34:26 H. Foley? Murray Dodge, yeah. And I, I had a Dodge, uh, Dodge 600 Turbo.
34:32 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
34:33 H. Foley? It whistled when you drove, and the front went up.
34:37 H. Foley? Weird.
34:37 Speaker 01 Sounds like a speedboat. Six hundred turbo. Fuck, I put the bow of a boat down.
34:42 H. Foley? It was. You get on the highway, turbo.
34:46 H. Foley? It was a sedan, too. It was a two-door sedan.
34:50 Speaker 01 What?
34:53 Speaker 01 Oh, wait, wasn't it two? Isn't that?
34:55 H. Foley? An oxymoron?
34:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, cuz I thought a two-door was a coupe, no?
34:58 H. Foley? No, it was like a, it was one, it was like a, look, like a, was a, like a boxcar. Like, it looked like a Cadillac.
35:04 Speaker 01 I don't think it did.
35:05 H. Foley? It was a two-door, it did.
35:06 Speaker 01 Like a Chrysler three hundred, looked like a Bentley.
35:08 H. Foley? Google it, Dodge six hundred turbo.
35:10 Speaker 01 It's a real term.
35:11 H. Foley? Nineteen eighty-six, what?
35:12 Speaker 01 That two-door sedan. Is a two-door passenger car built on the same chassis, chassis and interior proportions as a four-door sedan?
35:19 H. Foley? And I was reaching on that.
35:21 Speaker 01 Oh, I gotcha.
35:22 H. Foley? Can I see it?
35:24 Speaker 01 Yeah. I gotcha.
35:26 H. Foley? Yeah, that's, that's Murray.
35:27 Speaker 01 That thing stinks.
35:28 H. Foley? Oh, it was rough. Bought it for like six hundred bucks. Of Mr. O'Donnell. It was his dad's car.
35:33 Speaker 01 Why you name it Mr. O'Donnell, then?
35:36 H. Foley? Could've called it Buddy.
35:37 Speaker 01 Ah, Mr. O'Donnell.
35:38 H. Foley? I don't know, Murray, it seemed like a Murray. That was his personality.
35:43 Speaker 01 Okay.
35:43 H. Foley? Yeah, but no, I never called Martin Marty. It was always Martin.
35:46 Speaker 01 Gotcha.
35:47 H. Foley? We're never that close. So, yeah, I never knew a Marty.
35:50 Speaker 01 Okay, okay, fair enough. Um, this one's from Marty, ironically enough. Uh, have you ever referred to someone's actions as wheelin' and dealin'? That is a... No one, that is... Wheelin' and dealin' is... To say someone is wheelin' and dealin', trashy. And whatever they're doing is trashy, you're operating in the fringes if someone's wheelin' and dealin'.
36:17 H. Foley? Yeah.
36:17 Speaker 01 You know what I mean? No one calls like... An accountant, ah, that guy's wheelin' and d- if they are, it's, he's skimmin', he's, you know...
36:25 H. Foley? He's a fucking wheeler and dealer.
36:26 Speaker 01 That's one, that's one step away from Robin Peter to pay Paul.
36:29 H. Foley? Sure.
36:30 Speaker 01 Ah, he's wheelin'. Wheelin' and dealin' is a little bit of a gray area.
36:33 H. Foley? Yes.
36:33 Speaker 01 Not everybody's getting the truth.
36:35 H. Foley? Yeah.
36:36 Speaker 01 That's a great one, wheelin' and dealin'.
36:37 H. Foley? You remember the first time that you heard your, like, you heard your, your dad call out another adult? For being like, a little shifty?
36:45 Speaker 01 I don't know.
36:46 H. Foley? I do. It's just like, eh, that guy, he's a little, you know, he's a wheeler and dealer.
36:52 Speaker 01 Sure.
36:53 H. Foley? And he's full of shit, that guy. Real wheeling dealer.
36:56 Speaker 01 I remember early on, someone got accused of stealing money. My dad accused the guy of stealing money from the CYO.
37:04 Speaker 01 That guy's got, he did not to his face. He just didn't trust him, I guess. Who the fuck wants to run a CYO, taking the cash? Where's the fuck, oh, that guy's like, he always needs cash, just fucking, he's always like, ah, we need another thirty dollars for the tournament. Another twenty dollars for the uniform. My dad's a dirtbag, he starts doing the math, and probably how he would operate, like, I'd be skimming. Like, that guy's got fucking coffee cans buried in his backyard with cash. I remember we'd drive by his house, I remember being like, really? Wow, good for him.
37:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:34 H. Foley? Six kids on the team.
37:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, now, I don't know if that's the truth, but it was, you know, that was, that was the allegation. That was, that was grown-up talk.
37:43 H. Foley? Yeah.
37:43 Speaker 01 And I remember, it was just me and my dad in the car, and I want to be like, why do you think I need this information at this age? You know what I mean? Like, I was, like, young.
37:52 H. Foley? To make you crazy.
37:53 Speaker 01 Yeah. But, I do have to say, that helped my, now I know a sk- you know what I mean? I think it goes back to fucking-
38:01 H. Foley? Not being a mark.
38:02 Speaker 01 Not being a mark. You gotta know, you gotta learn how, you gotta sell a little weed, you gotta fucking, you know, you gotta do a little something. You gotta fucking know how to move.
38:09 H. Foley? Sure.
38:10 Speaker 01 Yeah. Looks on to something with that.
38:12 H. Foley? Everybody should wait tables.
38:14 Speaker 01 I agree with that. And should do some sort of manual labor. Digging a ditch, everybody's gotta do something. You know what I mean? One summer, you gotta fucking dig a ditch, you gotta learn something.
38:23 H. Foley? Sure.
38:23 Speaker 01 Get up early.
38:25 H. Foley? Kibby, can I tell you something?
38:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:26 H. Foley? I love Chubbies.
38:27 Speaker 01 Chubby, chubby, chubby's.
38:28 H. Foley? I love Chubbies.
38:29 Speaker 01 Who don't?
38:29 H. Foley? You know, can I say this?
38:31 Speaker 01 Hit me.
38:31 H. Foley? Chubby's been a sponsor for a little bit.
38:33 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
38:34 H. Foley? A while ago, Chubby sent me some stuff I couldn't fit into yet.
38:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:37 H. Foley? I can now fit into them. Buddy, you're looking at an H. Foley Chubby Summer. Let's go.
38:44 Speaker 01 So, it's summer twenty twenty-six, chubby season, doll.
38:46 H. Foley? Stylin'. I ain't man. The comfort, the fit, the feel, the qua- I sound like I'm doing an ad for them. The quality.
38:55 Speaker 01 Yes.
38:55 H. Foley? Is unbelievable. Shout out to Chubbies.
38:58 Speaker 01 Yes. Not only that, they got their original shorts, which I like rocking, baby. They got a better fit. They got extra pockets and that worn in from the, from the feel, the moment you throw them on. Not like, that was my, that's my problem with shorts. I buy them and I, you know, I, I, I feel like my dad a brand new set of Bermudas or whatever. You're like, what are you, I feel like everything's starched. Not with Chubbies. They come in, nice, clean.
39:19 H. Foley? Cozy.
39:20 Speaker 01 You're on a golf course, you're out on the dock, you're doing, you're fishing, you're hitting no shower, happy hour, whatever you got. Chubbies got you covered. Uh, whether you're getting dressed for your workday, a workout or summer vacations, like I just said, Chubbies has you covered, dog. For a limited time, Chubbies is giving our viewers 20% off your order with the code GARBAGE at chubbyshorts.com. That's code GARBAGE. Chubbyshorts.com. Support the show and tell them we sent you. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with Chubbies.
39:49 H. Foley? That was awesome.
39:52 Speaker 01 I really hit that.
39:53 H. Foley? Yeah. Stand out with Chubbies. Kim, let's talk about Chime.
39:57 Speaker 01 Chime.
39:59 H. Foley? As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.
40:01 Speaker 01 You ain't lying, big man.
40:02 H. Foley? Things start adding up.
40:03 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
40:04 H. Foley? You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish. I could go back and say, hey, I wish I had Chime.
40:18 Speaker 01 I know. Listen, if, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks coming after you.
40:31 H. Foley? Overdraft fees.
40:32 Speaker 01 Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, not it. Oh, oh, five, five dollars for this, $10 for that. They got their hand in your pocket. Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding fee free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee free. Look at that. I know, I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage. That's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes.
41:14 Speaker 03 Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's Bank Partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.
41:26 Speaker 01 Um, this one's from Chris. Twenty dollar homie. What was your mom's home workout setup? I'd say the more home workout videotapes you had, the trashier. Buns of Steel and eight-minute abs, to name a few.
41:37 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
41:39 Speaker 01 Denise was big on the, uh, step aerobics.
41:43 H. Foley? Step aerobics?
41:45 Speaker 01 We had the step. That was, I mean, that much-
41:47 H. Foley? The step?
41:48 Speaker 01 We, yeah.
41:48 H. Foley? Oh, like that little thing?
41:49 Speaker 01 It was like the box.
41:50 H. Foley? It looked like a, um, um, uh, squatty potty.
41:54 Speaker 01 Kind of, but bigger. It was probably like three feet long. It had like two stackable, like you can make it low or high. It had like rubber on the top and you would do like... We had to do it in ele- it was big in the eighties. That was all like the Jazzercise and shit. We had to do it in gym class. That was like, we had all, we all had our own thing and we were, you know, left and right.
42:13 H. Foley? She had the little leotard on?
42:15 Speaker 01 Nah, but our teacher did.
42:16 H. Foley? Really?
42:17 Speaker 01 Shout out to Mr. Jenkins. No.
42:21 Speaker 01 Shout out, her name was Miss Zumble.
42:23 H. Foley? Think about an Amazon package.
42:24 Speaker 01 She was like a gymnast and she showed up and I think she, I, my mom used to take her classes like outside of school, obviously. My mom wasn't showing up at gym class, fucking hitting them. And she, I remember her, she was, that was like, we were, what the heck is even this?
42:42 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
42:44 Speaker 01 That was something else. I remember, I remember being like, we were in like seventh, eighth grade. Uh, you cannot wear this in school. If the, if the kids can't wear it, you shouldn't be able to wear it.
42:53 H. Foley? You pull her aside after class?
42:54 Speaker 01 Ew!
42:57 Speaker 01 I gotta eat lunch after this with a hard on. What are you talking about? You got, you got thirty-five fucking kids in a locker room all hot and a fucking stiffy. What are you doing to us, lady?
43:08 H. Foley? Doors on the stalls in the bathroom, they fucking drive me nuts.
43:11 Speaker 01 They were huge back and they were so, dude, that Taibo, that's where our family drew the line.
43:17 H. Foley? I thought that was karate. I thought he could fight.
43:19 Speaker 01 It kinda is. Billy Blanks.
43:21 H. Foley? He could fight?
43:22 Speaker 01 Oh, I don't know. I probably would my ass, I know that much. All that fucking, all that cardio he's doing. He fucking take me into deep waters, fucking end me. Uh, see how many, see how much money they made? Dude, Taibo was at the height of fucking... That was VHS and DVD sales, infomercials. That was moving hard copy units. That was probably nine, $10 a clip he made.
43:46 H. Foley? Yeah.
43:47 Speaker 01 That was, that's like record sales. That was like Metallica, Metallica, you know what I mean? That dude was doing, that dude was doing numbie.
43:53 H. Foley? Yeah.
43:54 Speaker 01 He probably sold... What do you got there, Lucas?
43:57 Speaker 02 Uh, it's the Bowflex. Let me get the Bowflex. I got Taibo right now.
44:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, Taibo.
44:04 Speaker 02 That's what we're looking for.
44:05 Speaker 01 Um...
44:06 Speaker 02 I think that, that's Bowflex.
44:08 H. Foley? All the shit Chuck Norris moved too.
44:10 Speaker 01 That was the Total Gym, right?
44:11 H. Foley? He had shit before that.
44:13 Speaker 01 Remember the skis?
44:15 H. Foley? Yeah.
44:15 Speaker 01 The cross?
44:16 H. Foley? Nordic track.
44:17 Speaker 01 Nordic track. I remember my buddy having, somebody, my aunt, I don't even, I honestly have no idea who had a wooden version of that. And I remember being like, what is this? The fucking, who are you, Jack Klumpus with this?
44:28 H. Foley? Who's Jack Klumpus?
44:29 Speaker 01 You know who Jack Klumpus is?
44:30 H. Foley? Jack Klumpus. Jack Klumpus.
44:33 Speaker 02 Bowflex in its peak was making 860 million a year.
44:38 Speaker 01 What was Ta... How many, how many videos of Taibo did they sell?
44:42 H. Foley? 860 million a year?
44:45 Speaker 01 Dude, that's ni...
44:46 H. Foley? It's like cartel money.
44:46 Speaker 01 That's like 1995 money. That's like a bajillion...
44:50 Speaker 02 That was act, they had a resurgence during the pandemic.
44:52 Speaker 01 Who did?
44:53 Speaker 02 Uh, Bowflex.
44:54 Speaker 01 No shit.
44:55 Speaker 02 Taibo sold over 500 million home videos.
44:58 Speaker 01 That's ins... Dude, even if he made a dollar per video, that's crazy.
45:05 H. Foley? That's awesome.
45:06 Speaker 01 That's crazy money. 500 million videos. It's fucking insane.
45:12 H. Foley? That blows everybody away.
45:13 Speaker 01 That's like Beatles, I mean, how many records have the Beatles sold? That's like Beatles.
45:18 H. Foley? I bet that's more than the Beatles. No way the Beatles sold that much.
45:21 Speaker 01 Well, now it's like with streams and stuff, it's wildly different.
45:23 H. Foley? Forget about the streams.
45:24 Speaker 01 Fucking hard copies.
45:27 Speaker 02 We were a big P90X family.
45:29 Speaker 01 P90X?
45:31 H. Foley? Wasn't that the powder to fuck you up before you worked out?
45:33 Speaker 02 No, that was Tony Horton's videos.
45:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:36 Speaker 02 Power 90X.
45:37 Speaker 01 P90X, that was-
45:38 H. Foley? Who did that?
45:39 Speaker 01 That was like-
45:39 Speaker 02 My whole family, dude. Me and my boys in like, middle school would be ripping the videos.
45:43 Speaker 01 Dude, that was both- That dude, that used to say-
45:45 H. Foley? Fucking throat chopping each other?
45:47 Speaker 01 That was like, if you can do it for two weeks, you'll be hurt. That guy, I remember that guy's abs were-
45:52 H. Foley? Oh, I know that guy.
45:53 Speaker 01 Shizzle.
45:54 H. Foley? Yeah. And the rest of them, you look like Captain Planet a little bit.
45:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, I forgot about that. P90X was huge.
46:02 H. Foley? Brutal.
46:03 Speaker 01 I remember, I remember my, my buddy's dad-
46:06 H. Foley? I was a fucking Richard Simmons man.
46:07 Speaker 01 Sure.
46:08 H. Foley? Goddamn gentleman.
46:09 Speaker 01 Uh huh. Who's coming out with that, right? Isn't fucking-
46:11 H. Foley? Didn't have an ounce of definition on him. He was the best. His morning show was great.
46:16 Speaker 01 Who was the old guy? I remember watching that. Jack something.
46:18 H. Foley? Jack LaLanne.
46:19 Speaker 01 Jack LaLanne?
46:20 H. Foley? Yeah, he'd fucking beat your ass.
46:22 Speaker 01 I know, I remember him pulling like, fucking three Cadillacs with his dick or something. And they were like, look at him. He was always doing stunts like that.
46:28 H. Foley? On the Today Show.
46:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, he was. They'd be like, Jack LaLanne towing 50 boats with his mouth. And you're like, what?
46:34 H. Foley? Brian Gumbel, like, holy shit.
46:36 Speaker 01 Buddy retired.
46:37 H. Foley? He was the first guy, he was really the first guy to start with the juicing and shit. He pounded like a fucking celery juice or something.
46:45 Speaker 01 Isn't it crazy we didn't know that? It would just be, hey, just, I mean, well, we didn't.
46:50 H. Foley? No.
46:51 Speaker 01 I mean, my family, we were a sherbet. I'd do that. I'd hit you with a strawberry now and then if the chocolate and vanilla and the Neapolitan were out, I'd do a strawberry.
46:59 H. Foley? Yeah.
46:59 Speaker 01 I hated strawberry. Um-
47:01 H. Foley? I know, now I like it. Isn't that crazy? I hated strawberry ice cream as a kid. Why did we like it?
47:05 Speaker 01 Not that crazy. If I'm being honest with you. I've seen, I've seen you do a lot crazier shit than like fucking ice cream. That's wild, huh? I didn't like beer when I was three either. I like this stuff now.
47:17 H. Foley? Yeah, I hated mayo when I was a kid.
47:21 H. Foley? When I was at my cousin's house in the middle of the night, I had my first mayo, ham and cheese.
47:24 Speaker 01 In the middle of the night?
47:25 H. Foley? Yeah.
47:26 Speaker 01 That is the fattest story you've ever told.
47:28 H. Foley? It was tangy.
47:29 Speaker 01 He said an alarm and went go.
47:31 H. Foley? No, we got up to sneak upstairs and have, and, and make sandwiches.
47:34 Speaker 01 Sammy has a couple of rock stars. And we, we, oh, we go upstairs.
47:37 H. Foley? It was, it was ham, mayo on wheat bread. And these were against everything, it's fucking wheat bread, uh-uh. Ham, or mayo, uh-uh. Ham, yeah.
47:50 Speaker 01 That was the time for you. Cause if that was noon, you probably wouldn't be eating it.
47:55 H. Foley? No.
47:56 Speaker 01 But a middle of the night snack and you'll take whatever your fatties can get.
47:59 H. Foley? Yeah. Hungy.
48:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:01 H. Foley? Well, it was so gross. Then you'll like it the next time.
48:06 Speaker 01 Sure.
48:08 H. Foley? How many albums did the Beatles sell? I thought you looked it up, don't worry about it. Five hundred million is crazy.
48:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's, I mean, that's wild. See if you can get his net worth, Billy Blank's net worth.
48:17 H. Foley? Would you have to sit and watch your mom work out in front of the TV? Cause that always bugged me out.
48:21 Speaker 01 I mean, I would see her, and then like my sister also did it as well. Maybe they did it together. Like I, it wasn't like, sit down and watch me. Like if she was doing that, cause that was like an hour or whatever. And that might as well have been when I was like six, an hour is like three years. I'm like, I'm going to dad's, I'll see you later, start walking or whatever.
48:39 Speaker 02 This net worth has got to be wrong. It says twenty to thirty million. No chance.
48:43 H. Foley? Unless he got screwed.
48:44 Speaker 01 Yeah. He might have, it's like sold it early.
48:46 H. Foley? Yeah.
48:47 Speaker 01 Like sold the rights for, you know, hey, we'll give you five million dollars right now. And he did it.
48:51 H. Foley? Could be a, could be a wrong code company.
48:53 Speaker 02 Beatles estimated over six hundred million units.
48:56 Speaker 01 So, yeah. Billy Blank's and the Beatles, same, same.
49:00 H. Foley? But yeah, some of those are downloads.
49:01 Speaker 01 Yeah. Um, all right, let's see here, this one.
49:05 H. Foley? Great question.
49:06 Speaker 01 This one's from Phil A. Are you garbage if, if you hit the Little League field for the snack bar? My kid doesn't have a game. I just want cheese fries, a hot dog and some water ice. How you doing? Uh, I respect it. I, that goes, I would, I would also never, I can picture the one I grew up driving by it. It would never occur to me to pull in and get something. Never occurred to me. I, I'm, that's a great idea. I get it's kitschy, it's fun. Just my brain doesn't work like that.
49:36 H. Foley? Yeah. I have a very strong nostalgic attachment to the. Little League field in northeastern Pennsylvania, North End. Um, not north, north, North End Wilkes-Barre.
49:50 Speaker 01 Okay.
49:51 H. Foley? Sorry. Um, which the last time I was up there, it seemed all rundown. But they had the two level booth with the announcers up top. They had the snack bar on the outside, good bleachers. They had the fence with the, um, sponsorship and all that stuff.
50:07 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
50:07 H. Foley? Solid. Gummy bears, pizza, hot dogs, french fries. The first time I ever smelled malt vinegar. They had malt vinegar. They had like that.
50:18 Speaker 01 That's not for me.
50:19 H. Foley? You don't like malt vinegar on your french fries sometimes?
50:21 Speaker 01 Mm-mm. I would be very upset if someone did that to me and didn't tell me. You can't just go doing that.
50:28 H. Foley? No, you don't do it. It's there for you if you want it.
50:30 Speaker 01 No.
50:31 H. Foley? You don't like that?
50:32 Speaker 01 I don't think I've ever seen it. I don't know what it is.
50:34 H. Foley? Luke?
50:35 Speaker 01 I mean, in Europe, I've seen it. Hello?
50:37 H. Foley? You don't do it?
50:38 Speaker 01 Nah.
50:39 H. Foley? So this thing.
50:40 Speaker 01 That's commie shit, dude.
50:41 H. Foley? That's, no, it's not. That's fucking British.
50:45 Speaker 01 They might as well be fucking commies to me.
50:46 H. Foley? No, the Irish.
50:47 Speaker 01 Didn't we fight for our freedom? Ain't American.
50:49 H. Foley? It's good.
50:50 Speaker 01 It ain't American.
50:50 H. Foley? It's like fish and chips with a malt vinegar. It's delicious. It's a little added zing. Do ketchup too.
50:55 Speaker 01 No.
50:56 H. Foley? But.
50:57 Speaker 01 Cheese whiz and only cheese whiz. I love me some cheese whiz.
51:01 H. Foley? Store brand ketchup.
51:04 Speaker 01 I'm a Huntsman.
51:06 H. Foley? Woo, and a Hunts family was hanging on by a thin thread. Um, yeah, so I'm all about that. I love that.
51:15 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm. Yeah, I, I just like, I, I, I think it's awesome. I just like, I have like a barrier in my head of like, I can't get that. My kid's not playing, you know, I.
51:23 H. Foley? Sure.
51:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
51:24 H. Foley? It's like getting snacks at the movies when you're not at the movies.
51:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, I just like, I would never just, yeah.
51:30 H. Foley? But I respect it. There's a game going on.
51:32 Speaker 01 But.
51:33 H. Foley? So I'm taking an inning or two.
51:34 Speaker 01 Sure, but you're a nostalgia guy. Like, obviously it's not, and you're, it's not great food. It's good.
51:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, this is where I lost you.
51:42 H. Foley? You didn't lose me.
51:43 Speaker 01 But like, it's not like, if you want a hot dog, and you're in a car, you can get a better version of a hot dog. Not to say it's not fantastic and the combination of everything together. To me, it's like the experience. You know what I mean? It's like going to a ballgame and getting the Cracker Jacks or whatever. It's like, it's the location. If you just pull up, eat it, and then eat it in your car like a fucking psychopath, and then get out of there. So it's like, for me, it's gotta be the game. It's gotta, going to get movies next, it's gotta be the movies. You know?
52:13 H. Foley? First time I ever had Gummy Bears was that was there.
52:17 Speaker 01 Yeah. I always like, I always like-
52:19 H. Foley? Blew me away.
52:20 Speaker 01 Gummy Bears?
52:21 H. Foley? Yeah. I was like, wow, what is this? I knew something was happening. Things were changing. Then nerds came out. It was a very interesting time.
52:32 Speaker 01 Yes, wacky, wacky, wild time.
52:34 H. Foley? Be around when you were born. It's weird.
52:37 Speaker 01 Gummy Bears came out when I was born?
52:39 H. Foley? No, when I first came across them, right? Probably like 1983, 1984. So a couple of years before you were born. I'm not that much, we're not that far apart.
52:48 Speaker 01 Buddy.
52:49 H. Foley? You were born in 1986. I was 10 years old.
52:53 Speaker 01 Yeah. I mean, for sure.
52:55 H. Foley? Not like I was driving.
52:57 Speaker 01 Time's a wacky thing.
52:58 H. Foley? I was having sex, but-
53:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, Uncle Steve. Shout out to-
53:03 H. Foley? Marty.
53:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I mean, yeah. I don't know, 40 and 50 is a jump still. And that's like the closest we've ever been. You know? 26 and 36 is a jump.
53:17 H. Foley? 26?
53:17 Speaker 01 26 year old hanging out with a 36 year old? You might as well be 382. That's crazy.
53:22 H. Foley? Weird.
53:23 Speaker 01 Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I would say maturity level, you're younger than me.
53:31 Speaker 01 And not that I'm mature.
53:33 H. Foley? You think so? You think I'm less mature than you?
53:37 Speaker 01 Uh, I think so.
53:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, are you, do you have evidence to?
53:43 H. Foley? I believe that's because you're ugly.
53:46 Speaker 01 Na na na na boo boo. You can't, I'm rubber your glue. Alright, whatever. Um, alright, let's see, this one's from, "I lost the game. Is it garbage to have your dad pick you up from kindergarten in his bread truck every day? There was no passenger seat, so I sat on an old bread box."
54:00 H. Foley? I dig it.
54:01 Speaker 01 That's great. That would've made me feel so, I would've been slightly embarrassed.
54:07 H. Foley? Smell of the bread? Who doesn't love the bread guy?
54:10 Speaker 01 But also, if it was one of those trucks that didn't have the doors, like a fucking UPS, like a chip truck or whatever? Like a delivery truck? That was the coolest thing to me. Riding around, fucking foot hanging out.
54:21 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
54:21 Speaker 01 Wind in your hair.
54:22 H. Foley? Yeah.
54:23 Speaker 01 As a kid, I was saying this to somebody, I always loved going and doing stuff that the general public couldn't do.
54:29 H. Foley? Yes.
54:30 Speaker 01 So to get in that truck? I'd look at everybody else, be like, like, check out, I'd be like proud, I'd be like, "You guys are all getting your fucking shitty ass minivans." Whatever, I gotta go to work, I'm working, I gotta, they need me. They're calling me in.
54:43 H. Foley? That's like when you would ride in the middle of a, when you'd ride bitch in a, in a pickup truck.
54:48 Speaker 01 Woo! That was great. Great. My stepdad's Ford Ranger. He was shifting and fucking, you know, he'd have a beer, a coffee, sunflower seed.
54:56 H. Foley? Smelled like gas for some reason? Yeah, it was awesome.
55:00 Speaker 01 Dude, that I remember being, you got a CB radio, we'd be driving down the shore, CB radio. Danny on my right, him on my left. I was fat as shit to a fat little kid. I remember being like, "Put Danny in the middle." Fucking, I'm getting elbowed this whole time. Fucking huge thing of, uh, sunflower seeds. Right between my legs, like in the, the little like console or whatever, like, you know? CB and Danny on a CB radio, I'm just mulching, we're, all three of us mulchins, it was the, the most bonding we've ever had. And me and Danny are just dicking around on the CB radio.
55:35 H. Foley? Where were you spitting your sunflower seed shells?
55:37 Speaker 01 Uh...
55:38 H. Foley? You have a cup?
55:39 Speaker 01 Probably a cup. I've, I'll eat the shell, I'm a shell guy. I'll eat the shells.
55:45 H. Foley? What?
55:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:48 Speaker 02 I used to eat the shells as a very young kid, but then I learned how to...
55:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:53 H. Foley? Eat the shells!
55:55 Speaker 01 I like them, that's what a flavor is, baby!
55:57 Speaker 02 No, it's, it's worse.
56:01 Speaker 01 Luke's playing hardball today.
56:04 H. Foley? Wow. And I remember a time in, in, in high school where I was constantly eating sunflowers. We were just walking around.
56:11 Speaker 01 I think in high school, that's like something, you're, that's like trying, you're trying to have an identity.
56:17 H. Foley? You're like dipping.
56:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'm the fucking, so I just always got them. Same thing with like smoking. That's why you smoke at a young age. You're looking for...
56:24 H. Foley? It was a big lacrosse thing too.
56:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're, you're trying, you're like, oh, this is a lacrosse thing. This is what lacrosse players do. I'm part of the team. It's like same thing with like fucking baseball players and the chew and the gum and the seeds. It's like part of the, it's part of it.
56:37 H. Foley? I love that.
56:37 Speaker 01 You're looking, you're trying to be somebody.
56:40 H. Foley? I love that.
56:41 Speaker 01 What?
56:41 H. Foley? Just the fucking, what they got in the dugout. I'm fascinated by shit on the sidelines. The different kinds of Gatorade.
56:48 Speaker 01 You spent a lot of time there, you should know.
56:49 H. Foley? Yeah. The different, even, even division three, the different kinds of Gatorade that we had. It was all ice cold. All the shit that we had. So awesome.
56:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
56:59 H. Foley? Yeah.
57:01 Speaker 01 You still got some use of eligibility left. We were talking, you go back.
57:04 H. Foley? That's true.
57:05 Speaker 01 Um, all right, let's see here. This one's from Uncle Cousin. $10 Kentucky gentleman, never had one read. Shout out to you, good sir.
57:11 H. Foley? Shout out to him.
57:12 Speaker 01 Fine southern gentleman. Ever seen a fight at a funeral? A group of my cousins beat up another cousin who was the dad of the deceased.
57:20 H. Foley? Jesus.
57:21 Speaker 01 Damn. That's fucked up.
57:23 H. Foley? He must have been a real piece of shit.
57:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, you got, I mean, that guy was probably...
57:26 H. Foley? You fucking show up now after he's gone?
57:28 Speaker 01 Yep and all.
57:28 H. Foley? Ah, where the fuck were you? Wow.
57:31 Speaker 01 That's, um, yeah, I'd listen, tensions are high.
57:35 H. Foley? Yeah.
57:35 Speaker 01 People are drinking, emotions are up and down, you know what I mean? I remember the first time...
57:40 H. Foley? Funerals suck.
57:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, they're not great. Um, I remember learning the first time the, uh, family takes like Xanax. Like the...
57:52 Speaker 01 In the process, in the line. So they're not just bawling their eyes out all day.
57:57 H. Foley? Who gives them that? Nobody gave me that.
57:59 Speaker 01 For what?
58:00 H. Foley? My dad.
58:01 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. I mean, you know, something maybe a little more tragic than a seventy-three-year-old man passing. God, not saying it's not-
58:09 H. Foley? I understand what you're saying.
58:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, just something, you know, like fucking, you know, I attended a lot of drug overdoses.
58:14 H. Foley? Sure.
58:15 Speaker 01 Stuff like that. He was fucking twenty-five, going too soon, kind of thing. You know what I mean?
58:19 H. Foley? They had a fucking, uh, uh, something to the mother. What's it called?
58:24 Speaker 01 What?
58:24 H. Foley? Sedate the mother.
58:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, just that of like, I, you know, you're, also too, you're standing next to the body all fucking day. I get you.
58:32 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
58:33 Speaker 01 I do a little nip or something, you know what I mean?
58:36 H. Foley? You? Just driving by?
58:40 Speaker 01 Um, yeah, that's a tough, I mean, I get that, that's tough, you know? Funerals are fucking-
58:45 H. Foley? That's where you have it at, though.
58:47 Speaker 01 Yeah. That's always a big thing, "You'll never be at my funeral."
58:52 H. Foley? Who would say that?
58:54 Speaker 01 Some family members.
58:55 H. Foley? Really?
58:56 Speaker 01 "You're never gonna be at his funeral. I'll see ya, yeah, I'll see you at your funeral."
59:01 H. Foley? Jesus.
59:02 Speaker 01 "Come from a dicey family."
59:04 H. Foley? See at your funeral?
59:05 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
59:06 H. Foley? Huh.
59:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's a... Yeah, I mean, we're just fucking dirtbags. There's just like lines of delineation, you know, of who so-and-so talk, don't talk. I had a whole section of my family I don't talk to.
59:23 H. Foley? Yeah?
59:24 Speaker 01 See 'em, see 'em from time to time, bump into 'em, they ignore ya.
59:28 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
59:28 Speaker 01 Nah, nah, some of them are obviously very sweet, uh, some also, you know? It's beefs that I don't even fucking know, you know? And I'm done fighting other people's, I got to a certain age, dealing with all that shit where I'm like, I'm done fighting other people's fucking beefs. You wanna be mad, you can fucking be mad, I ain't got time for all that.
59:45 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
59:46 Speaker 01 Miss me with all that shit, you know what I mean?
59:48 H. Foley? Usually pretty good at squashing that when I'm not involved.
59:52 Speaker 01 What?
59:52 H. Foley? I never could any like beef like that, like where it's like, what are you doing? You don't, you two aren't talking? What the fuck is that about?
59:59 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
1:00:00 H. Foley? You dumb broad.
1:00:01 Speaker 01 Fucking give you a fresh one. No, uh, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I'm saying other people like so and so's.
1:00:08 H. Foley? You're not getting involved in it.
1:00:09 Speaker 01 I'm not getting dragged into someone else's.
1:00:10 H. Foley? You'll say hi to both parties.
1:00:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't give a fuck, or I won't say hi to anybody. I don't care.
1:00:14 H. Foley? You say hi to anybody?
1:00:16 Speaker 01 I don't fucking say hi to nobody.
1:00:17 H. Foley? Huh.
1:00:17 Speaker 01 I don't fucking use it dead to me.
1:00:20 H. Foley? I'll see it, you funeral.
1:00:20 Speaker 01 I said, I said that one time after this funeral, I'm done. I've said that before.
1:00:24 H. Foley? You have?
1:00:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00:26 H. Foley? Who are you fucking Leo?
1:00:27 Speaker 01 I was fucking cranking.
1:00:28 H. Foley? You need some money?
1:00:29 Speaker 01 I was cranking a heater. I remember fucking thirty fourth and Broadway in Astoria. See, I was on the phone with Danny or somebody. I said, I'm done. He said, what? I said, can I have forty bucks to get home?
1:00:43 H. Foley? I need a train picture.
1:00:44 Speaker 01 I gotta catch the Chinatown bus. I used to be like, hey, be like, I'll get you, you know. I used to ask for money for something, inflate the price and then take the Chinatown, the megabus or something.
1:00:53 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:00:53 Speaker 01 You know, hey, it cost me fifty bucks to get home. Buy the ten dollar ticket. I got forty bucks walking around money.
1:01:00 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
1:01:00 Speaker 01 I always spend it so stupidly.
1:01:02 H. Foley? Oh, yeah, you get like.
1:01:03 Speaker 01 I go to like Sabaro's or something. A pack of heaters and Sabaro's would be blown. Fucking dickhead eating a fucking Penn Station. Two slices of pizza at Penn Station for, for eighteen dollars.
1:01:15 H. Foley? On your way to a catered lunch.
1:01:17 Speaker 01 Such a fucking idiot. Um. This one's, uh, from Shell's. Ten dollar, uh, ten dollar make you holler, homie here. First time, never had one read. Is it garbage to hold a cig like a joint when you smoke?
1:01:29 H. Foley? Yes. Oh, wait, hold on. You mean like this? No. Jimmy Conway style? No, that's not, that's fucking classy. What? What'd you fucking say? Not at all.
1:01:41 Speaker 01 I wouldn't say, I don't think if you go, what'd you fucking say? I don't think, I'm not saying it's not badass.
1:01:46 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:01:46 Speaker 01 It's not classy.
1:01:47 H. Foley? But that's, that's what you're talking about.
1:01:49 Speaker 01 Again, that's a choice to me. As so, I mean, we've smoked a very long, no one's like natural.
1:01:54 H. Foley? Smoking is a choice.
1:01:56 Speaker 01 Sure.
1:01:57 H. Foley? To look cool.
1:01:58 Speaker 01 That's what I'm saying. And that's also a choi- like naturally you smoke.
1:02:02 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
1:02:03 Speaker 01 You know?
1:02:04 H. Foley? I prefer like this.
1:02:07 H. Foley? So I dug.
1:02:08 Speaker 01 That's how Luke hits his joints, dude. This is Luke. I catch, I catch, I was out, we were out in LA called New Cool, Cool Guy Luke. He looks at it.
1:02:16 H. Foley? Him and Tommy, really? When they're together, they're-
1:02:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, they both stand, they don't sit, they stand. Luke's got his hand on his ball. Right? Well, he's claiming he's sick all fucking week, meanwhile, he's fucking high as a kite, right? He's getting fucking back home smoking legal. LA Luke, and then Tommy. Tommy, you, a dirt, a dirt, a pure dirtbag, smoking a joint or a blunt, always has a half a bottle of water in their hand. Always. And they're holding it, right? They're holding it by the top, you know what I mean? Like that. And dude, Tommy's like, fucking saying a Nas lyric or something, they're freestyling.
1:02:52 Speaker 02 You never know when you're gonna need it, but you're gonna need it, that water bottle.
1:02:56 Speaker 01 I got cotton mouth, yeah.
1:02:57 H. Foley? You two like, you two like, dance around each other, you're both like, giggling and doing like, stupid shit? You two get real fucking girly twirly when you're together smoking doobies.
1:03:08 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
1:03:09 H. Foley? It's cute. I respect it.
1:03:11 Speaker 01 Smoking the, there is a, there is a cool way to smoke a joint, though.
1:03:15 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:03:16 Speaker 01 Luke loves each other. Oh, yeah, Cool Guy Luke, yeah.
1:03:20 H. Foley? Talking about ideas, yeah, fuck yeah.
1:03:22 Speaker 01 That's the problem with the industry, though.
1:03:25 Speaker 01 I heard Iceman's not even that good.
1:03:26 H. Foley? Man, you and Tommy stay.
1:03:28 Speaker 01 Don't you say that, don't you say that? Iceman is good. Alright, we gotta wrap it up, gang.
1:03:33 H. Foley? What a fun one!
1:03:34 Speaker 01 Yes, sir!
1:03:34 H. Foley? Gang? We love you to death. Come see us in the road.
1:03:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, we all over the road, we got tickets, uh-
1:03:40 H. Foley? Portland, Maine, you got, uh, Pittsburgh.
1:03:42 Speaker 01 Portland, Maine might be sold out.
1:03:43 H. Foley? Is that right?
1:03:43 Speaker 01 Pittsburgh's selling out, Cleveland's, listen, the boys are moving tikkis, get them and come see us.
1:03:49 H. Foley? Come see the boys. We love you, we'll see you next week. Peace!
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