Running Up the Tab! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Factor: Head to https://factormeals.com/garbage50off and use code garbage50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year. Hollow Socks: For a limited time Hollow Socks is having a Buy 3, Get 3 Free Sale. Head to https://Hollowsocks.com today to check it out. HexClad: Find your forever cookware @hexclad and get 10% off at https://hexclad.com/garbage! Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/li0uni5h Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Hey, yeah!

• 0:06H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedian, and we find...

• 0:12H. Foley?

  Not today!

• 0:15H. Foley?

  Fucking Michelin-star dickhead over here. We find out if they grew up to be happy, not shit. If they grew up to be classy, which are just a big ol' piece of trash. Like my co-host. Real garbage man. I'm your host, Hey, it's really coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tootie's in a new addition. She...

• 0:36H. Foley?

  Is up to something. But I don't know what it is.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  If I was prepared, I would know the joke.

• 0:43H. Foley?

  She's got a lot going on.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  So do you, apparently.

• 0:46H. Foley?

  She does. She's working in a kitchen now.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 0:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Okay, what's with all the kitchen content, Michelin star? She's in the...

• 0:55H. Foley?

  I've been watching that Marco Pierre White, making them sardine sandwiches.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 1:00H. Foley?

  Butter, life without butter.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Why don't you try watching an elliptical, will ya?

• 1:03H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from across the table, I'm ignoring that. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage, he is an international businessman, and unfortunately, my best friend in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  What up, gang? Shout out to ya, as always, please make sure... Stop cutting me off!

• 1:20H. Foley?

  Fucking kiss ass. They're all kiss asses over here, by the way, everybody. All of them. They'll suck up on Kippy's teats. Hairy nipples.

• 1:31H. Foley?

  I don't get it, but some people find it tricky.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Hey, stop telling us your fantasy's creep, though. I'm trying to do a comedy show.

• 1:37H. Foley?

  Hey, these guys.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Let me get the fucking plugs out of the way. Shout out to...

• 1:42H. Foley?

  Get tickets to move.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Too far. Let me thank the goddamn people for tuning in.

• 1:47H. Foley?

  Shout out to 'em!

• 1:47Speaker 01

  No, stop it! Shout out to you for tuning in.

• 1:49H. Foley?

  Hey, I love you.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify, and I gotta tell ya, those numbers are cooking, baby!

• 1:59H. Foley?

  Yeah, they're pretty good this week.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Ah, they're doing great!

• 2:04Speaker 01

  I like how you say that and people.

• 2:06H. Foley?

  I not, I not.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  People start tracking it and think that there's problems.

• 2:09H. Foley?

  I call balls and strikes.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:12H. Foley?

  Some days we're down, some days we're good. We're killing it right now though.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  It all depends on what day you release, things you go up against.

• 2:17H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's all, it's all algorithm bullshit.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  It's all political. These people are bought and paid for.

• 2:21H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Not us, baby. Old school renegades.

• 2:23H. Foley?

  That's right. But we could be bought.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:26H. Foley?

  Somebody make an offer.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Somebody open up the fucking checkbook.

• 2:29H. Foley?

  Yeah. We're not the guys you kill, we're the guys you pay off. Michael Clayton.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Bobby Slayton. Bobby Slayton. The pit bull. The pit bull's the comedy. Um, and obviously the greatest website of all time. WWW.Patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. And them numbers are knocking on the doors. 16,000 strong, baby.

• 2:51H. Foley?

  That's right. Army of garbage.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  Gonna have a good month. I'm feeling it.

• 2:54H. Foley?

  Gonna be down there in Austin, gonna be down there in Tampa.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, listen, Tampa's, I mean, there might be like 30, 40 tickets total left for Tampa. So get, because we're gonna be doing a little filming down there. So get them tickets. Uh, then Austin's moving too.

• 3:07H. Foley?

  Little OF.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 3:09H. Foley?

  Only fan.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I got you. What are you doing?

• 3:12H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 3:12Speaker 01

  What are you doing? Putting fucking action figures in your belly button? What are you gonna do?

• 3:16H. Foley?

  Is there a market for that?

• 3:18Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 3:18H. Foley?

  Is there a market for that?

• 3:19Speaker 01

  I just assume you're good at it.

• 3:21H. Foley?

  I did that in the bathtub when I was younger.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Make your GI Joe guys go splunkin' or splodunkin'.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Anywho.

• 3:29H. Foley?

  It's a family episode, Kevin.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Okay, we're pivoting quick, yeah.

• 3:32H. Foley?

  With your, with your sultry conversation.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:35H. Foley?

  Disgusting.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  Sure. You're the one who brought up my nipples early on.

• 3:39H. Foley?

  No, I was saying that everybody sucks on your teats. They all kiss up to you. This whole office is a bunch of kiss asses. I'm the fucking renegade right now.

• 3:49H. Foley?

  Give a shit what this guy says.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  You know what's nuts is part of you thinks that.

• 3:54H. Foley?

  I've been missing deadlines left and right around here.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  Part of you.

• 3:57H. Foley?

  Take in the heat and keep it moving.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:00H. Foley?

  Everybody else, man, I say something in that group chat, it's like a ghost town. You chime in with the worst crap ever. Some meme.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  You disappear.

• 4:11H. Foley?

  Guy Fieri.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Guy Fieri.

• 4:12H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  No, your thing is, you disappear.

• 4:15H. Foley?

  I don't disappear. I had a stomach bug.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  All day, all day, all weekend. At one point I had to accuse you of having another job. That's how, that's how, that's how Habsin you been. I remember yelling at you, "Do you have another fucking job I don't know about?" Because you're golly, it's like, you know, you're like the fucking FedEx delivery guy. If we don't get you, you ain't fucking coming back.

• 4:34H. Foley?

  Two to five, I'll be around.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  You leave a slip that says, "You fucked up."

• 4:38H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Shout out to great Sebastian.

• 4:40H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Sebastian Maniscalco, hit him up, tell him to do the show.

• 4:44H. Foley?

  Call me. No, you call me.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Okay, I will.

• 4:48H. Foley?

  It's a family episode, gang.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 4:50H. Foley?

  Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  I thought you said you had something to start off.

• 4:55H. Foley?

  Just the way, I'm lying. Just the way you like it.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  She's a big man shooting from the hip. In the, in the kitchen.

• 5:01H. Foley?

  That's right.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  You don't have anything.

• 5:08H. Foley?

  I was sick. I just, you know, and you don't like when I, you don't like when I talk about that stuff.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  I got something, nobody, I got something.

• 5:16H. Foley?

  I was ill.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Okay, easy.

• 5:17H. Foley?

  Neurovirus, something bad.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  They can use their wildest imagination. Listen.

• 5:23H. Foley?

  What?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  Wild.

• 5:26H. Foley?

  It was like an action.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  All right, stop.

• 5:27H. Foley?

  It was like an action park lawsuit.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Yikes. Multiple people named. Um.

• 5:33H. Foley?

  A lot of skinnies.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  I, uh, I got a little bit of a confession to make.

• 5:38H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Not proud of this.

• 5:40H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Not proud.

• 5:41H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  Very not proud.

• 5:43H. Foley?

  You stinking I'm awesome? Finally I'm glad you came around.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  No, I'm gonna run the group chat.

• 5:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  Uh, well, if you were, like I said, if you're in there for more than once a fucking, you know...

• 5:53H. Foley?

  I, listen, I am in there.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  No, you're not.

• 5:55H. Foley?

  Yes, I am. You decide business hours. All of a sudden, you text up.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  Our business hours.

• 6:00H. Foley?

  Everybody gets nervous.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  No, their business hour. Their working business hours.

• 6:04H. Foley?

  And I get back to ya.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  And during my authors' hours, which are every third Thursday.

• 6:11H. Foley?

  The pizza place only gives me a 15-minute break.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  They say no phones behind the counter.

• 6:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, what can I do?

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Um...

• 6:20Speaker 01

  It's the middle of February right now.

• 6:22H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 6:22Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 6:25H. Foley?

  What? You missed the summer. Uh, it's too cold.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  What?

• 6:29H. Foley?

  The snow's getting to ya.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  No, why would that be embarrassing?

• 6:32H. Foley?

  The heat's off. They shut the heat off.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  No.

• 6:34H. Foley?

  You gambled the money away.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  My water, my water bill's nuts.

• 6:38H. Foley?

  Really?

• 6:38Speaker 01

  Again.

• 6:39H. Foley?

  No kidding.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  Couple hundred bucks.

• 6:41H. Foley?

  In the, in the fall, in the winter, my electric bill is nothing. We don't even have to use our heat, 'cause we're up high. The summer, that is...

• 6:50Speaker 01

  All that blubber.

• 6:52H. Foley?

  In the summer. I eat a lot of salmon.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  You're inside a tree in the living room?

• 7:00H. Foley?

  I just found out, you know those bears, they don't eat the whole salmon, they just eat the skin.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  That don't sound right. I'm not saying you're wrong.

• 7:08H. Foley?

  When they get ready for the winter, because the skin has the most fat in it. So they just rip this, they just fucking rip the skin off and throw it out. That's good salmon. Split that.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 7:18H. Foley?

  Me and my mom could split that as a fucking, you got another meal. Which I know I'm getting older, because that's starting to become a thing. How many meals I can get out of one meal? That's two meals.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  I wrap it up. Denise loves wrapping. I hand it, we did takeout, uh, this weekend. Denise moved, uh, out of our, of my childhood home that we were in for 30, whatever, years. Um, I, yeah.

• 7:49H. Foley?

  Did you do a sentimental walkthrough?

• 7:50Speaker 01

  We're not done, I mean, they didn't kick her out. It's not like the phys, like they were waiting at the fucking driveway with their shit. There's a couple, they gotta settle first. What the fuck? Fucking squatter. Um...

• 8:04Speaker 01

  Well, back to my admission of guilt.

• 8:06H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  Middle of February. This is bad. I let it ride through January, kitschy.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Outside Christmas lights still on the house and still on a timer that turn on every night.

• 8:20H. Foley?

  Are they white lights?

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:22H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  I gotta be honest with you because the rest of the house, I don't have a lot of outside light to begin with. I need a little bit of what they call in the business curb appeal. Because at night, it looks like a crack house.

• 8:32H. Foley?

  Yeah, you do need a little curb appeal, man. You don't know what's going on in there. It's a nice home on the inside with love and family.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  I don't like the fact that you've been stewing on this about my house.

• 8:42H. Foley?

  Eh, it's a little, eh, from the outside.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  It's just at night.

• 8:45H. Foley?

  You could be making bombs or cooking meth or something in there.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  Well, I thought, so I had the, uh, there's a lot of, I had a leak, the leak ruined the switch. There was like a dial timer for the front lights. That got ruined.

• 8:59H. Foley?

  Ruined. It ruined.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  Now that don't work, so I gotta get that fit, whatever. So the Christmas lights are still on.

• 9:05H. Foley?

  What, did you put these Christmas lights on?

• 9:06Speaker 01

  No, I paid a guy who just go, he's gone. I ain't ever heard, he might have died.

• 9:10H. Foley?

  He's down in the Keys.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  He might have died because those guys I don't think are like, living the best life.

• 9:14H. Foley?

  He's bartending down at Fort Lauderdale. You gotta catch him next season when he comes back up.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  I'll just leave him up at this point.

• 9:19H. Foley?

  When he runs out of money.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  I don't think you'll be able to see, you don't, you can't see them during the day. I can just let them run till next year, right?

• 9:25H. Foley?

  I don't know, man. White lights, you know?

• 9:28Speaker 01

  It looks good. I gotta be-

• 9:29H. Foley?

  Is it around the house?

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like rich, trimmed, but it's not on the trees.

• 9:33H. Foley?

  What are you, Boathouse Row? I don't know if you can get away with that.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  It does, it's very Boathouse Row-y. Trimmed, clean, crisp, precision line, whatever. It's still up and now I'm real self-conscious about it. I, well, it looks, through January, I give you the snowstorm, whatever. I mean, middle of February.

• 9:50H. Foley?

  Does anybody else in the neighborhood?

• 9:52Speaker 01

  No. Mm-mm. It's bad. It's bad. We're jammed up over there.

• 9:57H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  Jammed.

• 9:59H. Foley?

  It is, listen, I've said this a couple of times, not here, but-

• 10:06Speaker 01

  On another program I do.

• 10:07H. Foley?

  Some people I know.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  In a group chat.

• 10:12H. Foley?

  You know,

• 10:15H. Foley?

  I would leave the Christmas lights up.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Listen, it's cla-.

• 10:18H. Foley?

  Everywhere.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  It's classy. It looks nu- it's just, I-

• 10:22H. Foley?

  You know the William Penn Inn?

• 10:24Speaker 01

  No.

• 10:24H. Foley?

  You don't know the William Penn Inn?

• 10:26Speaker 01

  No.

• 10:27H. Foley?

  Alrights.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  Wait, the Billy Penn Inn?

• 10:30H. Foley?

  So the William Penn Inn, uh, on Skipback Pike, or 202.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  You say that so trash. Skipback Pike, 202. Dude, every dirtbag from out where you're from always says that. Limekill Pike, there's so many Pikes out there.

• 10:45H. Foley?

  Hey, we're on Trooper Road.

• 10:46Speaker 01

  Trooper Road.

• 10:47H. Foley?

  They got a wall out there that'll fucking blow your eyebrows.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  That, and what's out, East Norton? Norton?

• 10:52H. Foley?

  East Norton.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, how you live up there, East Norton? Okay.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Why don't you brush your tooth?

• 10:58H. Foley?

  East Norton-

• 10:59Speaker 01

  And get out of my face.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  I don't know anything about it. I used to work these home shows.

• 11:08H. Foley?

  And- East Norton's nice. That's where fucking, uh, Corporalies is. Shout out to them. Over there in East Norton, which I told you, you could buy that whole shopping center.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  East Norton. I could buy it?

• 11:19H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's four million bucks.

• 11:21Speaker 01

  First of all, I can't buy that.

• 11:23H. Foley?

  That's what my mom told me. The whole, they're selling the whole-

• 11:25Speaker 01

  Your mom told you I could buy the shopping center?

• 11:28H. Foley?

  No, well, she recommended you. She said that they're selling the whole shopping center that it's in.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:35H. Foley?

  You got a wine store, Chinese place, um-

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Why?

• 11:40H. Foley?

  A beer distributor, and you got Corporalies.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  This sounds like you got in over your head in a conversation at a dinner party, and now we're on the hook for a fucking strip mall in East Norton.

• 11:51H. Foley?

  Hell yeah.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Alright, go get the money.

• 11:54H. Foley?

  What?

• 11:54Speaker 01

  I don't have that.

• 11:55H. Foley?

  What do you think I'm doing?

• 11:57Speaker 01

  I'm bringing it to your table, publicly.

• 12:00H. Foley?

  Well, find your feet in me.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Why, I'd be on a couple of egg rolls.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  I have one of those black cards. A Chinese joint.

• 12:09H. Foley?

  Um, what was I saying?

• 12:13H. Foley?

  The William Penn Inn has trees in their parking lot. Nuisance.

• 12:21H. Foley?

  They have trees in their parking lot.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:23H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  What's this have to do with anything?

• 12:25H. Foley?

  They have cr- they have lights in the trees, all year long.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  An establishment, I think, is a little different. Yeah, that sets the mood.

• 12:31H. Foley?

  I like the mood.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  I- listen, I'm- I'm- mine are still up. I like it.

• 12:34H. Foley?

  Remember Christmas lights in- in- in college, in the dorms? Fucking nice.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  Two years you spent there, and then six more you spent hanging out. What's up? Remember me?

• 12:46H. Foley?

  We're closing deals. You know what I mean?

• 12:48Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Yeah, the cafeteria.

• 12:50H. Foley?

  So I don't know.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  Let me get a swipe.

• 12:52H. Foley?

  I'd have to get eyes on it.

• 12:54Speaker 01

  What?

• 12:54H. Foley?

  You know what I mean? If you did a little something with the yard and spruced it up a little bit, got that hunk of shit out of the driveway, maybe it would blend in a little bit. You know? You got colored lights, you'd be fucked.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, nah, get out of here. I don't then- then- I haven't heard from this guy, so I might just- I ain't get-

• 13:10H. Foley?

  Like Willy Wonka lives there.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  Fucking windows are all spiral and shit.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm jammed up. I gotta put a little TLC into the house.

• 13:21H. Foley?

  You do.

• 13:22Speaker 01

  Not- not the parts that you're judging. That's what I- that's what I don't like.

• 13:27H. Foley?

  Go to Patty's, fucking place looks immaculate.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  That place stinks.

• 13:31H. Foley?

  Hey.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  That house stinks.

• 13:33H. Foley?

  That's crazy.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  That's crazy you think my house stinks and that house doesn't stink. That's wild.

• 13:37H. Foley?

  She keeps it sharp.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  That's wild.

• 13:40H. Foley?

  Keeps it sharp.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  You're crazy.

• 13:41H. Foley?

  Her fucking Christmas lights ain't up.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 13:43H. Foley?

  Matter of fact, they never went up.

• 13:45Speaker 01

  Problem solved. Case closed.

• 13:47H. Foley?

  Quiet Christmas this year.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Who's circling the wagon?

• 13:53H. Foley?

  I gotta get her out of there.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Now, what are you gonna do?

• 13:57H. Foley?

  I'm thinking about taking over that mortgage. Muscling her out.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  What do you mean, take over the mortgage?

• 14:04H. Foley?

  Start paying the mortgage. Take over the house.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Like on- oh, like, so he'd sign the deed over to you? This is a reverse mortgage. This is something Sam Walderson or something's in on this.

• 14:13H. Foley?

  And then immediately reef it in.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Oh, reef. Yeah, right. That thing is fucking-

• 14:18H. Foley?

  Oh, man.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  That thing's a cash cow, dude. That is on a razor thin margin at the moment.

• 14:24H. Foley?

  13% interest rate.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  You can turn it- you should turn- get in, turn into a flop house, put a bunch of fake walls up, fucking move in a bunch of factory workers.

• 14:33H. Foley?

  Start making some money in that dump.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 14:36H. Foley?

  Nah, she keeps it tight. She keeps the yard good, she keeps the fucking place good.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  My place is good. I just, the Christmas lights are on.

• 14:44H. Foley?

  You can't tell if anybody lives there or not.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, there you can. What are you, casing a joint?

• 14:51Speaker 01

  The fuck's your problem?

• 14:52H. Foley?

  I've been there.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  I know you've been there. You fucking, and you run your mouth every time. You get out and say something so fucking bitchy.

• 15:00H. Foley?

  Nah, I say nice things when I'm in there.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 15:04H. Foley?

  I say how nice it is, how beautiful it is. Beautiful mother-in-law.

• 15:10H. Foley?

  Nice stuff. Nice dog. Beautiful family, nice kid, good kid. Little guy. I talk shit. I save it.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  I might buy Patty's house.

• 15:22H. Foley?

  Really?

• 15:22Speaker 01

  Knock it down.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  That's what I'd fucking knock it down, that's what I would do. That thing's a tear down to begin with, got bad bone, that thing's got bad juju in it.

• 15:32H. Foley?

  She's got mice.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  She do?

• 15:34H. Foley?

  She's got bad mice.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  Yikes.

• 15:36H. Foley?

  Can't get them out.

• 15:39H. Foley?

  Fuck a guy who's supposed to seal the crawl space.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  Sounds like there's one coming up your esophagus right now. Coming out for a little bit of cheese.

• 15:47H. Foley?

  Supposed to seal the, seal the crawl space.

• 15:52H. Foley?

  I might have to take that to the street. My cousin was telling me that I should be using my, uh, public persona to flex on him a little bit.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Saying what?

• 16:01H. Foley?

  You know, get this straightened out, or I go to the army of garbage.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  That's gonna what? I'm asking, what are the consequences? What do you?

• 16:09H. Foley?

  Fuck him up.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Show up to his house, put mice in his bed.

• 16:16H. Foley?

  See how he likes it. Make Patty live there for a couple of weeks. He'll be begging me to take it.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  Have her break his balls.

• 16:25H. Foley?

  I don't know. But you know, we do have a platform here.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  So you're gonna trash a small business, a guy who's behind the fucking eight ball, doesn't wanna do work for your fucking, your fucking ball breaking mother?

• 16:36H. Foley?

  I used to do it all, Tom Pollock used to do that shit all the time on the news.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Shut up, Tom Pollock. I mean, it's not a scam, did you pay him?

• 16:43H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 16:46Speaker 01

  He's probably owed from last year.

• 16:47H. Foley?

  Your job ain't done.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Fucking bounce the check, that's why, that's why you can't get a hold of him.

• 16:57H. Foley?

  You gotta call him from a private number. Catch him at the Wawa on Trooper Road.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  Yo, yo Jerk, if I see you there.

• 17:09H. Foley?

  Taking shit out of his truck.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  I tell you, my sister did that.

• 17:13H. Foley?

  What?

• 17:15Speaker 01

  There was an issue with, uh, I don't wanna get into specifics, but there was some hard, you know, so they were redoing the deck or something. The patio or something. They hired a guy, wasn't great. Thing happened.

• 17:26H. Foley?

  Right.

• 17:28Speaker 01

  He pulled up and tried like, she fired him or whatever. It was bad.

• 17:33H. Foley?

  Those things get ugly.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  So she was just like, get your, you know, get out of here. You're not coming back or something. And she's like, I'm coming to, he's like, I'm coming to get the tools. And the, the material. She said, she's not one you cross.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  She's like, the fuck you are. She took it and locked it in the house. Locked it in the garage and was like, get the fuck out. You are not coming anywhere near here. Barricaded like the driveway and shit.

• 17:57H. Foley?

  Didn't you guys end up selling that shit?

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, then they turned around and they turned around and sold it to another company. Dude, we operate.

• 18:05H. Foley?

  So you're the scumbag.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  What do you mean? Nah, he was overpaid. Nah, he was overpaid. He was the guy who told you, yes, for like 200 bucks. She was, they were like, what the fuck? The guy just needed like 150 to get out, get through the day. He, I, you know.

• 18:19H. Foley?

  That'd be me. I'd be as for lunch money and shit. Straighten me out.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  You got a 20 on you?

• 18:26H. Foley?

  Little bridge loan.

• 18:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:27H. Foley?

  Okay, but let's talk about Factor.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Facta, facta, facta.

• 18:29H. Foley?

  Let's talk about the Factor. Delicious, nutritious, ready to eat food, right out of the fridge, never frozen over there, Factor. Got a lot of choices over there. You got high protein, got calorie smart, you got Mediterranean diet. How do you think them Greeks are living so long? You know what they're doing?

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Keeping it tight.

• 18:48H. Foley?

  GLP-1 support, which is what I got.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  Ah, yeah, I need it too.

• 18:52H. Foley?

  Cause I was having a little bit of an issue with the, with the GLP-1. I got the GLP-1 support from Factor, smoothed everything out. Plus two, can I say this?

• 19:02Speaker 01

  Hit me.

• 19:02H. Foley?

  Can I go off copy for a second?

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Speak from the heart there, big man.

• 19:06H. Foley?

  About factor when you have them that they're not like overspiced, they're just they after you eat them, you feel good.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  Satiated.

• 19:16H. Foley?

  Satiated.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  That's the word.

• 19:18H. Foley?

  Clean, quality ingredients.

• 19:19Speaker 01

  Cause you don't.

• 19:20H. Foley?

  You know that we love factor.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  You don't feel that way after like eating a slice of pizza, you feel, you know, you start feeling, I've eaten so much shitty pizza, you feel dirty and greasy and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But after factor, you go, um, um, it filled me up. It was the right portion. I'm not going to get fatter today. And that's the thing, don't get fatter today. That's the AYG way. Don't get fatter today.

• 19:40H. Foley?

  That's really good.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  And factor helps you. Cut that, clip it, send that to the bank. Uh, right here, head to factormeals.com/garbage50off and use the code garbage50off to get 50% off plus free, plus free brekkie for a year.

• 19:52H. Foley?

  I didn't authorize that.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  Eat like a pro this month with factor. New subscribers only, varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. Do it.

• 20:01H. Foley?

  Do it. Kim, it's like about hollow socks.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  Hollow socks.

• 20:04H. Foley?

  Let's talk about hollow socks, which are great socks, but let's talk about bad socks for a second.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  Do we have to?

• 20:10H. Foley?

  Bad socks. Yeah, bad socks stink. Your feet are cold, your feet are hot, your feet are sweaty, your feet are smelling. Let me introduce you to hollow socks, gang. We're talking about ultra soft baby alpaca fiber.

• 20:23Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:24H. Foley?

  We're talking that level of comfort. We're talking about thermo regulating.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 20:30H. Foley?

  Three times warmer than wool.

• 20:32Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 20:33H. Foley?

  Moisture managing.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 20:35H. Foley?

  Durable, no itch knit. Need I say more? Do yourself a favor, pick up a pair of hollow socks. Tell them the boys sent you.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, uh, listen, I got a, I got a discount rack pair of socks on right now. It was like 80 pair for a nickel.

• 20:49H. Foley?

  Brutal.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  I got, I don't know if it's polyester or if the rubber, but these things, it's like the rainforest between my toes right now. It's going to ruin his pair of shoes. Ain't no coming back from that.

• 20:59H. Foley?

  Grow weed in there.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  These things are soggy, baby. They got everyday socks, they got hunt socks, they got trade socks, they got compression socks, whatever you need, they got you. For a limited time, hollow socks is having a buy two, get two free sale.

• 21:10H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  That's the best kind of buy one, get one. Buy two, get two, baby.

• 21:13H. Foley?

  Alpaca.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Head to hollowsocks.com today and check it out. That's hollowsocks.com for up to 50% off your order. Hachi machi. Uh, after you purchase, they're going to ask you how you heard about them. Uh, you can support the show and tell them the boys sent you.

• 21:25H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's tough. Listen, it's tough to find, you know, that's a, that's a big thing. We have a lot of blue collar workers, obviously. Um, finding a, finding a good guys. Mechanics, roofers, plumbers, anybody. It's tough. And at some point you go, I'm willing to pay a little extra just for like the good, if you know you get the good service. You don't want the cheapest guy. Cheapest guy is gonna fucking.

• 21:48H. Foley?

  Say you got me.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:50H. Foley?

  It's like, it's stuck with me. When you find one of those guys and you see how they operate and like see the work that they do and stuff like that, you realize you're not that guy. Like, I don't do, I've known a couple of those guys.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  My Christmas lights are still on. I'm not that guy, pal.

• 22:06H. Foley?

  I've known a couple of those guys, like the, the, the kitchen contractor that I worked for. This guy was meticulous. I don't take care of anything like that.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 22:17H. Foley?

  Nothing.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  What?

• 22:18H. Foley?

  He, everything was spotless. His house was spotless. He looked spotless.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  But there is a thing that like the, you know, the con, the construction worker's house is always the shittiest house.

• 22:29H. Foley?

  Nah, this guy was shite.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  Cause they don't want to get home and do it. I was like, that was the case with us. I mean, my, we were missing outlet covers in our kitchen. Dude. My brother put in some sink that was like a commercial sink. He put it in my mom's house. Cause it was like leftover at the shop. Yeah. It was like a three bins, like three compartment sink. She's fucking washing glass, pine glasses and shit. They've been sanitizing, rinsing. Nah, it wasn't that, but it was like a, it was a, it was a sink from a job that didn't fit.

• 23:01H. Foley?

  Commercial dishwasher in there.

• 23:03Speaker 01

  Shit.

• 23:07H. Foley?

  That would be sick.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  I know.

• 23:08H. Foley?

  I'd be washing dishes all the time.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  It did like, uh.

• 23:11H. Foley?

  Fucking throw a laden.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  It'd take, do it like 90 seconds, steaming.

• 23:15H. Foley?

  I've had my, I washed dishes for so long.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  Dude, I remember, I was thinking about that this weekend when I was doing dishes, but uh, I remember my brother got a job at the same pizza, my first job me and my brother each had was four or five years apart, but at the same place, old place called Santo Palato. Holland, strip mall pizza place. And uh, he was a dishwasher, or something, I don't know if he was a dishwasher, I was a busboy, we worked five years apart, but um, he came home from working in a kitchen and I was probably, he was probably thirteen, I was eight, or whatever. He came home and started using really hot water to clean, like that's what he had learned. And man, I thought he, I was like, "You're like a dad, dude, this is, you know this kinda stuff?" Like dude, my, my, I still-

• 24:02H. Foley?

  Hot water for what?

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Cleaning the dishes, like really hot. He's like, "You gotta get it steaming," and I'm, my skin was too supple to touch it. And I was like, "God damn, this motherfucker, he be out there working, dawg." Putting in a full day. He came home, that was, he was like a different man, it was like he went to jail and came back, I was like, "Oh, you're no longer one of us." You got, you're like, you're locked into the workforce.

• 24:28H. Foley?

  He's got a rag over his shoulders.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Okay, see, eh, can't call it.

• 24:35H. Foley?

  How's school going, huh? Good? Yeah, you alright? Anybody bothering you over there?

• 24:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:40H. Foley?

  Ah, man.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Huh, but all that's neither here nor there, gang, we got a gosh darn-

• 24:45H. Foley?

  Yeah, business, take care of it.

• 24:46Speaker 01

  Family episode on our hand.

• 24:49H. Foley?

  Talking about your fucked up house.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  Shit, me up here talking, uh, yeah, there's some, here's a few things, I'm just, not that handy, that's all that comes down.

• 25:01H. Foley?

  Get the landscaper out there for the spring, it's gonna be a good spring.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  I just, see now you're breaking my, I just had him out there, we did a full cleanup, did a full mulch, and we did the whole thing. It's in the winter, yeah, you haven't, first of all, yeah, mulched. Mulched the front yard and a backyard, and then, I shouldn't have done the backyard. And then the dog gets into it, he comes in.

• 25:19H. Foley?

  All mulched up.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, all mul, you gotta wipe him down.

• 25:22H. Foley?

  I used to hate doing that shit.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  Sucks.

• 25:24H. Foley?

  Fucking mulch dumped in the middle of the driveway, god damn it, that sucked.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  I ever tell you my dad got-

• 25:30H. Foley?

  Talk about ruining my Sunday.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  My dad got it up his ass.

• 25:34H. Foley?

  Belly full of eggs in me, dude.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  He dropped all that, he got redstone. He wanted the whole front and backyard gardens to be that redstone. And I remember using a snow shovel to fucking put it in a

• 25:49H. Foley?

  It's like you're in Shawshank.

• 25:51Speaker 01

  And like dude, it was one of those things, you take a shovel and you go, okay, but then it settles down so you don't even see the progress. It's like you're digging to China.

• 25:59H. Foley?

  Papillon.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Sucked. Um, but listen, let's get into it here. Um, speaking of, this is very, uh, bad at blue collar homeowner stuff. This is from Yo Mama Stinks, long time homie, never had one red. You's ever used a pair of scissors as a knife or a screwdriver?

• 26:16H. Foley?

  Fuck yeah.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  Dude, if you can get, if it's the right screw to get in there, that was something else. Good turn, good handle.

• 26:22H. Foley?

  You ever see when somebody, even when it's unwrapping paper? When they do the scissors and they, and they, and they open them up and it's

• 26:29Speaker 01

  Get some good coverage on that.

• 26:31H. Foley?

  Man, fucking throat slitter. Love that shit.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then, ah, yeah, I'm not, I don't have, I don't have good touch with any of that kind of stuff.

• 26:41H. Foley?

  I was more of a butter knife guy when it came to, uh,

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Screwdriver?

• 26:44H. Foley?

  Oh yeah.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Get a nice, get a nice flathead.

• 26:47H. Foley?

  You're in there. That and, um, you know, it was always great when you couldn't find, I could, I could get the bathroom door open pretty, pretty easily. You know, it had like the, the little circle and usually the, the little poker was up, up on top of the thing.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  That was another thing. When I, when Danny, Dave, all the locks to all the doors were up on top of that. Cause it was a new house and we moved in 35 years ago.

• 27:11H. Foley?

  You're in there cranking your root.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  Dude, and I remember being like,

• 27:13H. Foley?

  You're in there weeding?

• 27:14Speaker 01

  I remember being like, how the fuck you get in here? And he like, he likes opening the door. And I remember, you know, I'm like, what the hell? And I, I was too short and fat to jump up and get the thing. So he would put it back up there. Man. I thought he was like the fuck, he was like the warden dude. He was walking up and down a hallway.

• 27:30H. Foley?

  What were you doing in there?

• 27:31Speaker 01

  Whatever.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  Little bit of private time. The fuck? Yeah. Who's Wallace? My mom was at work. He was running this. She was the man of the house.

• 27:45H. Foley?

  But you could take a Q-tip and get it in there, pop that open.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  We were a bobby pin once, we realized.

• 27:51H. Foley?

  Oh, love the bobby pin. Bobby pin, paper clip, fucking, man, take over a country with that shit. Fucking sneak in.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  Real MacGyver.

• 28:01H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see here. Uh, this one's from Sticky Vicky. Is Scotchgard in your shoes so they don't get stained a classy or trashy move?

• 28:10H. Foley?

  I don't 100% understand or know.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  Right there with you.

• 28:15H. Foley?

  What Scotchgard is.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  I think I've seen one, I think it's like a clear spray. That's what I have in my head.

• 28:22H. Foley?

  I know 3M does it, right?

• 28:24Speaker 01

  It's like Scotch tape, I thought.

• 28:25H. Foley?

  No.

• 28:26Speaker 01

  Like Scot- no? That's the same Scot- no, I realized it's-

• 28:29H. Foley?

  Some type of polymer.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  No, I know, but Scotch.

• 28:31H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, Scotch.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  Scotch tape is clear tape. Scotch spray is clear spray, made by the same company.

• 28:37H. Foley?

  Scotch.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  Scotch.

• 28:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Well yeah, what am I saying?

• 28:40H. Foley?

  Nothing.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Well, what? I'm not saying.

• 28:43H. Foley?

  You lay off the fucking-

• 28:45Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be huffing a little Scotchgard. What do you got on Scotchgard?

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Uh, 3M branded aerosol spray that repels water, oil, and stains from furniture, clothing, rugs, and outdoor gear.

• 28:56H. Foley?

  No shit.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  It says it doesn't affect the fabrics of breathability.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, nah, dude, here's the thing. They always try to come out with a new shoe cleaner and shoe protective thing that they're always trying to push on you at a fucking Foot Locker. Specifically, late 90s, early 2000s.

• 29:10H. Foley?

  With the brush on the, on the cap.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, and that, dude, and nothing ever fucking worked. And they'd be like, you spray it like this, and then they like dump it in water and look at it. I remember getting a new pair of shoes, I got home, they sold me on that, it's just $7.99.

• 29:24H. Foley?

  Oh, to, to pre-treat before?

• 29:26Speaker 01

  It fucked my shit up, and then that's all I had. I only had, and then I had a fucked up pair of white Nikes. I had to ru- I, you know.

• 29:34H. Foley?

  That had no give to them at all.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  Dude, it's like walking with fu- you know, walking in wooden shoes, dude. Yeah, fucking sucked.

• 29:42H. Foley?

  Getting dunked on.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  So I was just like, the cleaner never fucking worked. And then they had like the plastic bristles. And that would scratch it. I know that would scratch them up. Nothing, it's so hard to clean shoes. Toothpaste worked really well with a toothpaste, whitening toothpaste. Get your Air Force Ones real clean.

• 29:57H. Foley?

  What they use now to kids is the fucking, uh, Mr. Clean magic shit.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:02H. Foley?

  That stuff, man, that'll get rid of a body.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  The magic, you know, it's just sandpaper essentially. That's what it is. Yeah, um.

• 30:09H. Foley?

  Fine grit.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  I know, but when that fucking, that stuff reaches a thing when it starts breaking apart and rolling up, it makes my fucking blood run cold, dude. I can feel that in my bones.

• 30:19H. Foley?

  That's like cotton balls. I can't touch, can't touch cotton balls. Fucking skeeve me out. I don't know what it is.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  I feel it's like, you know how like a dog hears frequencies? That's how I, that's what I feel with that stuff.

• 30:31H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's like chalk. That's, I used to get that with drywall, touching drywall.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:36H. Foley?

  Ugh.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't have it with drywall.

• 30:38H. Foley?

  Bug me out.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  Bug me.

• 30:40H. Foley?

  I can't work.

• 30:42Speaker 01

  That was very impolite. I don't touch the stuff, Dave.

• 30:48H. Foley?

  You go check out the fucking lunch cart.

• 30:50Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I mean, listen, I've never seen anything that didn't, I, fuck my shoes up. I feel like anytime they, I never found any cleaner or protective thing that really truly worked.

• 31:01H. Foley?

  No.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  When I really cared, now I don't fucking care.

• 31:03H. Foley?

  But 3M, that's big. That's big company.

• 31:06Speaker 01

  I mean, people with Scotchgard like furniture and stuff, I feel, right? Like, yeah, you spray Scotchgard the couch, you would always, I would always see.

• 31:13H. Foley?

  Scotchgard, you breathing that shit?

• 31:14Speaker 01

  I don't think, we never did that, but that's like how I, you know, like that would be like the joke, ah, you go over to fucking Aunt Toody, she Scotchgard's the chair and stuff like that.

• 31:22H. Foley?

  I feel like families, the way it broke down is you had your cleaning products, and then the rest of the world had theirs.

• 31:29Speaker 01

  Great, well put.

• 31:31H. Foley?

  We did, my mom did Windex.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 31:35H. Foley?

  She did Pine-Sol, heavy.

• 31:38Speaker 01

  The spray, no, Pledge, I'm thinking. We were Pledge.

• 31:40H. Foley?

  Oh, she was a big Pledge girl. She liked Pledge, and she liked the Murphy's Oil Soap.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, we had all that.

• 31:46H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 31:46Speaker 01

  You know what?

• 31:47H. Foley?

  And Lysol disinfectant spray.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  Oh, the OG.

• 31:50H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  That stuff.

• 31:51H. Foley?

  I get you.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  We have some in here, that's, oh man. You know what we were huge on? Which made fucking, uh, doing the dishes pretty nice.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  Box of SOS pads.

• 32:04H. Foley?

  Love them.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  A fresh one? A fresh SOS?

• 32:06H. Foley?

  Dude.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  Holy, you couldn't tell me shit. What?

• 32:10H. Foley?

  The second use on those, it's like you're on U571.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 32:13H. Foley?

  This thing's rusty.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's bad. That's real bad.

• 32:16H. Foley?

  That can't be good for you.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  I don't know, that's so that like powder, that was like sprayed on soap.

• 32:21H. Foley?

  That stuff would get anything out. Get that all lathered up. Your hands would smell like metal.

• 32:26Speaker 01

  Well, like now, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, now with like the baby, it's like, you know, you go, oh, what's in this? Or what's this? And it's like, I mean, obviously it's like a kind of a trope at this point, but like, we were pro chemicals and pro plastic in the 90s, to the point where like, you go, I don't know, it works. There's chemicals in it. It wa- like, that was-

• 32:46H. Foley?

  Scrubbing bubbles, bitch.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  Added chemicals, baby. Get, get the one with the heavy by chemies.

• 32:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  And now you're like, you're using fucking seventh generation shit. Now I got my fucking, you know, my, I still have tomato sauce on my fork when it comes out of goddamn dishwasher. I go fucking-

• 33:04H. Foley?

  Patty's all about that fucking, uh, Dawn Power Wash.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  Woo! Man, you gotta love a good marketer.

• 33:12H. Foley?

  That stuff, I hate it.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  Going, how do we foam this stuff? Small battery, little mechanism, fucking 70-year-old housewives be slipping out of their seats.

• 33:20H. Foley?

  That stuff. She makes her own little concoction with that, apple cider vinegar.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  A smidge of crack.

• 33:27H. Foley?

  To get stains out. And then she hangs them in the sun. Man, good. He's good.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  And you produce a lot of stains.

• 33:35H. Foley?

  I produce a lot of stains, man. I produce a lot of stains. I, you know, I get like, maybe like, a month out of t-shirts. Like, I'll buy a bunch of t-shirts, five, six, seven t-shirts.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  Never seen it, but okay.

• 33:48H. Foley?

  I, dude, I bought all them, I got all them true classics.

• 33:51Speaker 01

  That might happen one time, I'll give you that, yeah.

• 33:52H. Foley?

  I had like 15 of them. I had 15-

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Number just doubled.

• 33:56H. Foley?

  Listen, I'm gonna tell you, I'll tell you the truth.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Thanks.

• 34:00H. Foley?

  I had 15 true classics that I bought, okay?

• 34:05H. Foley?

  They sat in my closet because I couldn't fit in them. Then I lost-

• 34:09Speaker 01

  They were too big?

• 34:10H. Foley?

  They're too big. I lost a little bit of a weight. Got into a 4XL. Been rocking them. You seen them. Been rocking them. They're all stained up. All got a little something on there. And it's not the stain. Let me tell you folks something. It's not the stain itself. It's, you throw it in that wash without getting the stain out the first shot, it's over. Because once that shit dries, sets in the fibers, and you're fucked. And you can't get it out.

• 34:41H. Foley?

  I sat in something in my jeans. Like, oil or something. Looks like I shit my pants. But I didn't-

• 34:49Speaker 01

  If I got ch- funny.

• 34:50H. Foley?

  I mean, that shit in your pants doesn't stain it. It's like stained. Like, oil. Like, I sat in olive oil. Weird. I had a fucking-

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Are you, are you around olive oil presses a lot?

• 35:01H. Foley?

  No.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  Or do you shit your pa- you shit your pants more than you're around an olive oil canning factory?

• 35:06H. Foley?

  Unless I drank a bottle of olive oil, there's no way it would stain like this.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:12H. Foley?

  So.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 35:15H. Foley?

  Your kids remember that.

• 35:16Speaker 01

  Take that to the bank. Get a loan for $4 million to buy a strip mall.

• 35:22H. Foley?

  Kevin, let's talk about Hexclad, baby.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  Hexclad!

• 35:24H. Foley?

  Let's talk about Hexclad's patented, laser etched steel hexagons. Give you a better searing than other pans.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, dawg.

• 35:34H. Foley?

  Dude, listen to that statement. Laser etched steel hexagons. That's what you're cooking on.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  That's heavy. These are, listen-

• 35:41H. Foley?

  Woo! That's the, you're cooking in the future.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  These are, these are heavy bike pots, heavy bike pans. Not in the sense of, they're above your pa- they're great for the house. They're good. You can't really mess them up. They good, a nice sear, great, clean. I cooked eggs on them this morning. Ah, instead of using butter, I used super glue. They still didn't stick. That's what, take that to the bank. How you doing? You can't get tape to stick to these things. I'm speaking in hyperbole, obviously.

• 36:05H. Foley?

  Yeah, I wonder if it was smelling on your breath.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  Um, dishwasher safe and, uh, super simple to wipe clean after use. That makes me feel like a good cook. When I'm cooking something, you just wipe it clean, put it back. You don't even have to get the water out. Paper towel does it.

• 36:18H. Foley?

  That's a good way to put it. You feel like a good cook when you're using them.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  And listen, we're not, I'm not, but you feel like a good cook, baby. They got the 12-piece set. That's what I did. I bought it before they were a sponsor. That's how much I like these frigging guys.

• 36:27H. Foley?

  You know who uses them, by the way? Ramsey.

• 36:31Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 36:31H. Foley?

  Big Hexclad guy.

• 36:33Speaker 01

  And right now, for a limited time, our listeners get 10% off your order with our exclusive link. Just head to hexclad.com/garbage, support our show, and check them out at hexclad.com, H-E-X-C-L-A-D dot com forward slash garbage. Make sure to let them know the boy sent ya. Bon appetit, let's cook with Hexclad's revolutionary cookware, Dylan.

• 36:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, but something about Cash App, baby.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  Cash App!

• 36:54H. Foley?

  Did you folks know that Cash App just released a new status program for the way people actually spend money on Cash App Green?

• 37:02Speaker 01

  Ooh!

• 37:02H. Foley?

  It unlocks new ways for you to pay, get rewarded, and easily grow or manage your money on your terms.

• 37:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:10H. Foley?

  Now, when you spend over $500, at least $500 a month, with Cash App Card or Cash App Pay, you earn Green Status, which unlocks benefits like up to $200 of free overdraft coverage.

• 37:23Speaker 01

  We don't need that.

• 37:24H. Foley?

  Stop right there.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 37:26H. Foley?

  $200 of free overdraft coverage? I'm in. Gang, do yourself a favor if you're not using Cash App. What are you doing?

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Yes. Uh, turn everyday spending into status with Cash App Green. Download Cash App today or visit cashapp, cash.app/new to learn more about this offer and great features launching now. For a limited time, new Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use the code CASHAPP10 in their profile and sign up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Green overdraft coverage, borrow cash back offers, and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

• 38:11H. Foley?

  Do it, yeah!

• 38:13Speaker 01

  Um, alright, there's one, uh, great name, the Kensington Cruiser. Shout out to ya. You know what the Kensington Cruiser is? A pair of white Reebok Classics.

• 38:22H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. On your way to get drugs.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  My cousin Brendan, I showed up wearing them, thinking I was the fucking shit. And he hit me with, "Oh, cool pair of Kensington Cruisers," or something. I was devastated.

• 38:32H. Foley?

  He came in from the suburbs?

• 38:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like, they were brand new. I got them for like Christmas or so, so I was like, felt really good. And I get there and he's like, "Fucking..." Snipe me. Rat bastard. Kensington cruisers.

• 38:45H. Foley?

  There's a world where we could've went the other way, where we could both be wearing jean shorts, white socks.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 38:51H. Foley?

  I don't know. Could've been pillheads together.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, there's, you know, if you look at my friends, there's a ninety, it's insane that I made it out without really getting into drugs.

• 39:03H. Foley?

  I never thought about that, but if you were into drugs.

• 39:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, you would've, we would've never met each other.

• 39:08H. Foley?

  No, okay.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  If I was into drugs, half the amount I'm into booze.

• 39:12H. Foley?

  I'm saying when we met, we did meet, let's say we met, if you were into drugs, man, we would've been, we would've never got here. We would've been a lot, we'd still be in the Titan House in Philly.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  To think we would be have, be on a lease together still, if we and you were, our main concern was just doing drugs? Get the fuck out of here.

• 39:33H. Foley?

  Imagine if Kippy was about getting gear. We'd be all, we'd be all fucking squared away.

• 39:40H. Foley?

  Pimp you out a little bit.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  Turn you out.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  Kippy my bottom bitch. Um, yeah, it's, it's a...

• 39:49H. Foley?

  It's a good thing. You're just an alcoholic.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Well, at least it's socially acceptable.

• 39:56H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 39:56Speaker 01

  I learned, the problem with drugs, that I would've had with drugs, I think, is like, you can do some pills, air weed, and not like, you know, and go to work.

• 40:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. I can't have like, a six pack and then show up and wait tables.

• 40:15H. Foley?

  Nah.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  You smell, you fucking, you're drawling, you're drag, had somebody, I don't give a, I'm sitting at the bar, having a cocktail, my tables are waiting for their check.

• 40:24H. Foley?

  Do a little perka doodle, wait a couple of days.

• 40:25Speaker 01

  That's what, I mean, that's when, you know, that's a...

• 40:28H. Foley?

  It's bad news.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  It's bad news, yeah. Looks like you got a stain going there, guy.

• 40:32H. Foley?

  It's some sweat.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 40:33H. Foley?

  It's fucking hot as shit in here, man.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  Turn the heat up a little bit.

• 40:38H. Foley?

  You can't.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see here. Speaking of this Kensington cruiser, is it garbage to wash one dish out of a sink full of dishes only for what you need in that moment?

• 40:49H. Foley?

  I respect it.

• 40:50Speaker 01

  It's a dirtbag move. I've, I mean, everybody's had to do it. Every single person.

• 40:55H. Foley?

  I'm so lazy when it comes to that stuff.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:58H. Foley?

  I'm big on the, if the dishwasher, I think I asked, I might've asked somebody this recently. Dishwasher's clean, but I got a dirty dish. I'm throwing that dirty dish into the clean thing and just washing it again.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  All for one dish?

• 41:12H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  That's crazy. I mean, yeah, I understand it.

• 41:15H. Foley?

  But in my head, it's like, well, you're double washing the dishes.

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm sure you're ahead, you'll spin it any way possible. Um, yeah, that's like, uh, I've done it, I've definitely done it.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  I did it this weekend, actually, where you're like.

• 41:28H. Foley?

  You did?

• 41:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, yeah. The thing, some stuff was spotty.

• 41:34H. Foley?

  I'll play dumb all day. It gets fucked, I didn't know if it was clean or dirty.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  Well, Nadine was like, I, there was a little miscommunication between both of us. She's like, it's clean. I'm looking, I'm like, it doesn't look, there's not a hundred percent conclusive evidence.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  Your honor.

• 41:50H. Foley?

  You turned into a general manager in Spain.

• 41:54Speaker 01

  Uh, so yeah, I ran it again.

• 41:56H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 41:56Speaker 01

  Um.

• 41:57H. Foley?

  But I got fucked on that one time at Patty's not that long ago.

• 42:00Speaker 01

  But if there's stuff still on it, it'll like double, that's like a twice baked potato. It really stays on there. That's the problem.

• 42:06H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  You gotta, gotta take it out of the hand wash, cause that, that heat lets that, talk about a stain sitting. Woo wee.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 42:15H. Foley?

  Um, I got fucked at Patty's.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  What was his name?

• 42:19H. Foley?

  Be a nice guy, unload the dishwasher.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that's you, yeah.

• 42:22H. Foley?

  I unloaded a dirty dishwasher.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  Ah, dude, how, I've never understood that.

• 42:26Speaker 02

  I would lose it.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  How is it, how far, how do you make it that far?

• 42:32H. Foley?

  Because she rinsed it. She runs a rinse cycle. I, the fuck, I don't know. The shit was beeping, so I unloaded it. It's okay. Then you can't tell what's what. Whole place is contaminated.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  I'd have to move, dude. I, my brain couldn't, I'd have to wash everything. I'd have to, I just, my brain couldn't.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  That's what she did. You gotta check for a little water, like, on top of stuff.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 42:55H. Foley?

  Am I a fucking moron?

• 42:57Speaker 02

  Seems like it.

• 42:58H. Foley?

  She ran a rinse cycle. So the thing was beeping, it was done. Yeah, you didn't check it. Check what? You didn't check the... What, smell it to see if it had the lemony fresh smell? You clearly didn't check the plates as you're putting them away. They were clean theoretically. It was just rinsed though. Who runs just a rinse cycle, by the way? Where'd you get all this water money?

• 43:17Speaker 01

  I have to applaud you on bucking all responsibility from fucking up. I do gotta say, that is a big man move right there.

• 43:25H. Foley?

  I'm suing the dishwasher company right now.

• 43:30Speaker 01

  KitchenAid and all of its affiliates. Bad Jenkins Plumbing who installed the dishwasher. Uh, alright, let's see here.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  This one's from HotDogJesus. "When was the last time you sat in the back of a two-door car?" It's...

• 43:48H. Foley?

  It's my... one of my biggest fears.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  It's never gonna happen anymore. I mean, hopefully it happens again, but it hasn't happened since I've known ya.

• 43:55H. Foley?

  Nah, who do we know has a two-door?

• 43:59H. Foley?

  I don't know any private eyes.

• 44:02H. Foley?

  A two-door?

• 44:03Speaker 01

  Not hanging out at the Saturn dealership.

• 44:06H. Foley?

  That seatbelt that comes up and gets ya?

• 44:08Speaker 01

  My buddy Liam had that. I didn't trust that. They always, "You wanna sit in shotgun?" Absolutely not.

• 44:15H. Foley?

  Didn't you have to click your own...

• 44:16Speaker 01

  Dude, I didn't get it.

• 44:18H. Foley?

  You had to click your own waist, I think, right? Or was it just that thing?

• 44:21Speaker 01

  I didn't trust it.

• 44:21H. Foley?

  Slip right out of that.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  I thought it was... I didn't think of that. I thought it was gonna fucking strangle me. Fat ass up in the front seat, fucking start panicking. "Look, look, what's going on, you girls? Go do it."

• 44:34H. Foley?

  Nah. Not for me. But, I used to always think, if I was high in the backseat of a car like that, and you can like, look up and look through the back window...

• 44:45Speaker 01

  Oh, you're too far back.

• 44:46H. Foley?

  Dude, you feel like a fucking Russian astronaut, man. Fuck that. They'd never get you out of there. Everything gets slow. They'd never get you out of there.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  You're fucked. Jaws of life. They'd have to get the jaws of life to get you out. That's a Denise. That is a Denise. They're gonna need the frickin' jaws of life to get ya.

• 45:03H. Foley?

  I heard about the jaws of life for about 15 years before I actually saw them. I was like, "That's it?"

• 45:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:09H. Foley?

  I thought it was like a shark or something.

• 45:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, a little slow moving. It's a fucking set of... It's a big set of tin snips where I come from.

• 45:16H. Foley?

  It's nothing. That's it?

• 45:18Speaker 01

  It's just pneumatic. It don't move quick.

• 45:21H. Foley?

  Hydraulics.

• 45:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:22H. Foley?

  They get you out, though.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 45:24H. Foley?

  I'd rather have one of those big circular saws that the firemen have. Those things are sick.

• 45:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, they don't play no part.

• 45:28H. Foley?

  Cut me out with that! Live on the edge. Get me a fuck out of here, I'd freak out.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  Sparks up.

• 45:34H. Foley?

  Sparks up.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a problem.

• 45:37H. Foley?

  Oh, the cargo's. Why don't we all go?

• 45:41Speaker 01

  There you go, take out a bunch of fucking heroes with you. Fucking rat. One last jam up. Ruined seven families.

• 45:48H. Foley?

  Let's spray some water on it, like you do with a wet saw. Keep the sparks down. Throw some sand on it or something. I'm not waiting for the fucking jaws of life. Yeah, no. Don't like riding in the backseat.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  That, that was the, the jaws of life and getting, and in the nineties, getting impaled and staying alive. Was always a big, was always a big fear. That happened in Merchantville. I remember my, Merchantville, New Jersey. How he got through, thrown through the windshield was big too.

• 46:17H. Foley?

  Oh, fuck that.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  End up through the windshield.

• 46:19H. Foley?

  Went right through the windshield.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  Right through the windshield. And it was always, it was, it was never feet, it was always in yard. Two hundred yards, through, right to the windshield.

• 46:26H. Foley?

  Two hundred yards?

• 46:29Speaker 01

  Quarter mile.

• 46:31H. Foley?

  What an Aaron Rodgers throw him? What are we talking about, two hundred yards?

• 46:36H. Foley?

  That's a long, that's a big pass.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  There you go, in face. So you get for speeding without your seatbelt.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  Um, yeah. Getting impaled in like a raw, I remember, a wrought iron fence.

• 46:50H. Foley?

  Ah, those things are dangerous. What the fuck did they ever have them for? Keep people out of castles?

• 46:56Speaker 01

  I don't get.

• 46:56H. Foley?

  That shit stunk.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  And yeah, they were impaled, they, then they came and read him, it was either they came and read him his last rites while he was on the fence. I remember being like, what do you say to a guy when you're waiting for the priest? I'd be like, I'd be like fake checking the car.

• 47:11H. Foley?

  Where are you going?

• 47:15Speaker 01

  Um, that, and, uh, they had to cut the fence out and he went to the hospital with the fence in him. That was always. I'm getting nervous over it.

• 47:27H. Foley?

  I've never seen you panic like that.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  I'm nervous. Yeah, that was always the big one. That's, that's how they get you.

• 47:33H. Foley?

  Ours was falling over a balcony. Fall over the balcony. Or the balcony breaking.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  Sure. That happened to my cousin Sean. He's a listener. Shout out to him. He fell off a... A deck collapsed or he something. It was one of those like stories that you hear about. He was down the shore. Thirty, forty people on a deck. Fucking went down or he went off the back. Something happened. I forget. Wasn't paying attention.

• 47:58H. Foley?

  Is he cool now?

• 47:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's chilling.

• 48:01H. Foley?

  Have I known him?

• 48:02Speaker 01

  I'm sure. You've met him. Yeah. Comes to a bunch of shows.

• 48:04H. Foley?

  Is that fucked up?

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Doing pretty well.

• 48:09H. Foley?

  What's up, Shawnee?

• 48:10Speaker 01

  What's up, Shawnee? Hey now, Shawnee!

• 48:12H. Foley?

  Go Birds.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Uh, go Birds indeed. Um, let's see here. Um...

• 48:21Speaker 01

  This one's from George Johnson. Never had one read, lads. Hello. Is it garbage to take advantage of an open tab at a bar knowing the person whose tab it is went home hammered? Then you live like a king for the rest of the night.

• 48:33H. Foley?

  A friend?

• 48:34Speaker 01

  A hundred percent a friend.

• 48:35H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  If you have that relationship with them.

• 48:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 48:39Speaker 01

  A hundred percent. That was, I mean, that was pat for me. Here's my thing. If you get thrown out... Or if you're causing a scene for the rest of... That's, you know... You're at your duty to the group.

• 48:52H. Foley?

  You staying close out there, uh, tab though, like a gentleman?

• 48:57Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 48:57H. Foley?

  I'll close out his tab. Put it on that card and I'll close it out.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was, you know, or yeah, so and so got bounced. You'd get a tag. They threw me out or whatever. And you go, I don't know. I'm looking in the back. I can't find you. Meanwhile, I got fifteen fucking get your bombs. Um, yeah, that's, I, that's only fair. I remember my boy Deli, uh, he got kicked out of the Borgata. And I had to go back and get him. We were going, we were down there for a bachelor party. We were going to a, a titty joint. And we had all left.

• 49:26H. Foley?

  The gentleman's club.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  The gentleman's club. We didn't, everybody got, tried to separate him.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  And we were, you know, and then I got a call from the Borgata police, somebody was like, "You gotta come get him." So I'm like, and I was like, pretty sober, I was sober enough, you know what I mean, like? So I went back and they were like, "Either you," and I was like, "Fuck him, let him," you know, "I'm not coming to get him."

• 49:47H. Foley?

  Do you have any cash on him?

• 49:49Speaker 01

  They were like, "It's either that or he's going to jail." And you're like, "All right," so I'm like, "I gotta go back and get him." So I go back and get him, I'm like, "Well, you're now funding the rest of my night." I had to like pull, I mean, it was like, it was like a glass of water, I had to throw him in the back of the

• 50:06Speaker 01

  "Take that credit card, couple of dub skis out of the wallet."

• 50:10H. Foley?

  Let it ride.

• 50:11Speaker 01

  We hit Wawa, got an Uber.

• 50:14H. Foley?

  But I always had, I always had the fear of, um, open up a tab, leave it open, and then people coming up and saying, "Oh yeah, put it on that guy's tab."

• 50:24Speaker 01

  The fear, though? What are they gonna, what are they gonna get, two Michelob Ultras out of you?

• 50:28H. Foley?

  Sons of bitches.

• 50:29Speaker 01

  What? Like, it's not like someone's gonna be like, "Ah, you know, give me the ribeye and fucking the seafood tower."

• 50:38Speaker 01

  You know, it's like, they're gonna get like a couple of, like, around the shots.

• 50:41H. Foley?

  Yeah, fair enough.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  You're not gonna know anyways.

• 50:43H. Foley?

  That'll get you.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  After like, "Hey, it's $42 or $61," you're not gonna go, "What the?"

• 50:47H. Foley?

  Be all fucked up.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Hey, I'm all fucked up doing shooters.

• 50:53H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's, I think, definitely acceptable.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  I wonder, bartenders comment or write in, what is like the courtesy? Cause like sometime, back in the day when opening up a tab was big, now it's like, it's so common at this point, but before it was, I mean, back when I was banging, especially in college, it was mostly cash. Not that many people were opening tabs.

• 51:17Speaker 01

  So, uh...

• 51:18H. Foley?

  Now it's like a fucking general store in the 50s.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  Now to keep it open, they're like, they like hand it back, like, you're like, "No, I wanna keep it open," they're like, "Oh." People close it...

• 51:26H. Foley?

  Oh, really?

• 51:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, people close it out like constantly.

• 51:28H. Foley?

  Oh, I always keep it open.

• 51:30Speaker 01

  I don't wanna do all that paperwork every time.

• 51:32H. Foley?

  Let it run.

• 51:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:34H. Foley?

  The seafood towers I keep hearing about.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Chef recommends.

• 51:39H. Foley?

  Some for the boys.

• 51:40Speaker 01

  Um...

• 51:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, so it's like, I would just let... But there used to be like, I would just say I was putting it on Pat's tab, like, "Hey, can you go, can you put it on Pat?" And he'd be like, if they didn't know you were together, you know, and you'd have to give some sort of like, a lewd of like a hand up, or can you put it on his tab over there, like, you had to establish that you were together.

• 52:02H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  I wonder what it's like now, like, what a bartender's like. "Oh, I'll just put it on any tab," like, you know. Could I wa- could you be like, "Hey, you're sitting next to me, put it on Foley." "I hear you say that." And then I'd just go, "Ah, put it on Foley." I wonder how, if there's any checks and balances on a bartender.

• 52:21H. Foley?

  I think they usually, you know, they know who's with who, they recognize faces.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a crowded bar, I mean, yeah, sure.

• 52:28H. Foley?

  Where the fuck are we at crowded bars?

• 52:31Speaker 01

  I'm not saying you speci- I'm saying bartenders in general.

• 52:34H. Foley?

  Like a club, like Red Oak or something?

• 52:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, Red Oak.

• 52:38H. Foley?

  What's it called? One Oak? Is that still banging? I think so. Really? You gotta get down there. Find out what it's all about.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  No, like, are bartender, is there any sort of due diligence to check, or they just go, "I don't fo- you said a name, I don't care."

• 52:54H. Foley?

  I would err on, "You said a name, I don't care."

• 52:56Speaker 01

  Great, you're having fun with this. Okay, thanks for...

• 53:01H. Foley?

  Trying to answer you technically.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Sure, of course.

• 53:04H. Foley?

  As a former server.

• 53:07Speaker 01

  You were never a bartender.

• 53:08H. Foley?

  Day bartender.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  And waiter.

• 53:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  That's, it was mostly waiter.

• 53:13H. Foley?

  No, we would flip-flop, me and this kid from Romania. First time I ever had garlic and eggs. He'd make garlic eggs. And a little bit of spinach, it was pretty good. Got in a big fight one day because he went behind the bar when I was bartender.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  He didn't like that.

• 53:25H. Foley?

  No, I didn't.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  Uh-uh.

• 53:26H. Foley?

  Challenged my authority. I was also crashing pretty hard.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Hey, man, either give me some more of that garlic, or a couple of painkillers. Um, alright, let's see here. Um, this one, I mean, I don't live in this world, but this is from Chili Willy. When you're ordering something for store pickup.

• 53:47H. Foley?

  Right?

• 53:47Speaker 01

  Right? Like, I guess from like a grocery store, a Walmart. It says more than a handful of bags.

• 53:53H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Do you get out of the car and help them load it in? And also, do you tip these people? I'm not super familiar with this process. I've done it once or twice during COVID.

• 54:05H. Foley?

  Curbside pickup?

• 54:06Speaker 01

  Curbside pickup.

• 54:07H. Foley?

  Like a Walmart.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  Walmart.

• 54:09H. Foley?

  Never done it.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  Never done it. I would assume tipping's probably in the checkout process. Do you want to add a $2 or $3 tip, or whatever it would be?

• 54:19H. Foley?

  You could throw them a 10, something like that.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Something like that.

• 54:22H. Foley?

  I'm, the only thing, the only experience I have with it, I don't have experience with it, but it caught my attention when it started doing it. When Chili's or TGI Friday started doing that shit.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  That was early, they were early.

• 54:34H. Foley?

  Picking it up outside.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  Applebee's did that too.

• 54:36H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  Curbside, I remember getting pissed because they were taking up all the good spots at my local Applebee's. Fucking, the whole front row.

• 54:43H. Foley?

  Got a bad back over here. Goddamn veteran.

• 54:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, all, took all the, I'm like, who the fuck?

• 54:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 54:49Speaker 01

  Because to me, Applebee's, obviously not good food, but it's in the mood. I mean, that, to me, was a little bit of the start of the decline of...

• 55:02H. Foley?

  Well, when they started doing that shit?

• 55:03Speaker 01

  Not even of them, more of society a bit, in the sense of like, you're eating that shitty food. Go to Burger King, we have establishments, fast food establishments for this.

• 55:15H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 55:16Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 55:17H. Foley?

  But what do you want, a baked potato with sour cream and stuff like that, and Jack Daniel's steak?

• 55:20Speaker 01

  You go, you, if you want that, there used to have to be a, you go in.

• 55:25H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 55:26Speaker 01

  I'm gonna go, I want this, there's some sort of barrier to entry to that. You don't get to eat a fucking steak and potatoes in your car. That's a job, right? That's a little, you put on a fucking pair of pants, a pair of shoes, and you go in and you order.

• 55:39H. Foley?

  And you put it that way.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  Right? There's like a little bit, we, we, the barrier to entry to get that good, you know, better prepared food.

• 55:47H. Foley?

  I'd kill for a baked potato right now. Some chives, like some chives?

• 55:53Speaker 01

  Told you I made a shepherd's pie last week.

• 55:55H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, how was that?

• 55:56Speaker 01

  It's pretty good.

• 55:56H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  I froze it, came home, had it last night.

• 56:01H. Foley?

  Really? Like a wedding cake? Happy anniversary, baby. Two little fat guys on the top.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, which I did. I reheated it. Now, how, okay.

• 56:12H. Foley?

  Why'd you freeze it?

• 56:14Speaker 01

  Cause I was leaving, I was going to the burbs for a couple of days. And it, I didn't wanna, it wouldn't hold in the.

• 56:19H. Foley?

  You wanna roll the dice.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  That's juicy down there. It's a lot of liquid.

• 56:23H. Foley?

  I've been rolling the dice lately.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  That's like swamp water.

• 56:26H. Foley?

  Man, I've been pushing expiration dates.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  So here's my thing.

• 56:29H. Foley?

  Bad.

• 56:30Speaker 01

  One, how would you go about reheating a proper frozen? Like tundra frozen shepherd's pie? You take it out of the freezer, take the tin foil off. What's your move?

• 56:44H. Foley?

  There's two ways you could do it.

• 56:46Speaker 01

  Hit me. Cause the one, and let's just put it, put it, let's, you're really hungry. Let's, I don't have.

• 56:54H. Foley?

  Well, you got two options.

• 56:55Speaker 01

  I don't have two hours to bring this to temp.

• 56:57H. Foley?

  In an oven.

• 56:58Speaker 01

  No way, in an oven.

• 57:00H. Foley?

  So one, you eat it frozen.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  I nibbled on some of the peas and carrots.

• 57:08H. Foley?

  You gotta put it in a microwave.

• 57:09Speaker 01

  I don't have a microwave.

• 57:11H. Foley?

  Where?

• 57:12Speaker 01

  In New York.

• 57:12H. Foley?

  No shit? Man.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  The broad don't like it. And I don't have, I don't, I don't.

• 57:18H. Foley?

  You're fucked. Order a pizza, dog. What'd you do?

• 57:22Speaker 01

  I had some hard pasta. No, um.

• 57:25H. Foley?

  Pasta? A shepherd's pie?

• 57:27Speaker 01

  No, I was joking like I was eating, I had a box of pasta.

• 57:29H. Foley?

  What you could do is you get a little bit of water in a saucepan.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Water. Uh huh. That stuff takes so long, dude.

• 57:35H. Foley?

  You got no microwave, dude. You're fucked.

• 57:38Speaker 01

  Air fryer.

• 57:39H. Foley?

  Ah, the air fryer.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  Though here's my thing. This was like a dirtbag revelation I had. But then you can't.

• 57:49Speaker 01

  The bottom, the frozen bottom of a shepherd's pie isn't really conducive to maintaining shape and stature in an air fryer.

• 57:59H. Foley?

  Right.

• 58:00Speaker 01

  Specifically, cause the bottom of the air fryer.

• 58:01H. Foley?

  It's hamburger.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  Is a grate, exactly. And every, it's just, you've lost everything.

• 58:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 58:07Speaker 01

  So you know what I did?

• 58:08H. Foley?

  Put some tin foil down.

• 58:09Speaker 01

  I was, first thought.

• 58:11H. Foley?

  Put some bread down. Sop it up.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  Like a big hot Sammy. Um, what are you thinking?

• 58:20H. Foley?

  Inverted.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  No, but that was pretty, I didn't even think of that.

• 58:24H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  I don't, I still don't think it would hold.

• 58:24H. Foley?

  Upside down shepherd's pie, pineapple cake?

• 58:27Speaker 01

  Well, also, I had to carve this thing out of ice, which I felt like I was making a fucking ice sculpture for a wedding. Dude, I had a fucking hammer and a fucking steak knife.

• 58:36H. Foley?

  Tapping into the ice wall down in Antarctica.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  Holy shit, dude. I got, I got pretty good at cutting chunk squares out and you leverage it, you know what I mean? Dude, my steak knife was wobbling. The fucking rivets on that thing were screaming.

• 58:49H. Foley?

  Man.

• 58:51Speaker 01

  Um, put it in a bowl in the air fryer.

• 58:57H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  It was great. So, nothing at all stays in and I would, I don't.

• 59:01H. Foley?

  How long do you have to put in the air fryer for?

• 59:05Speaker 01

  Twenty minutes at, at fucking.

• 59:06H. Foley?

  That Nuvo shit's no good, dog.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  I had to put it at nine eighty.

• 59:09H. Foley?

  You need gamma rays.

• 59:10Speaker 01

  I know.

• 59:11H. Foley?

  Fucking the Manhattan Project.

• 59:13Speaker 01

  Fifteen minutes, maybe was just enough before I started losing it. I was losing it.

• 59:18H. Foley?

  I know there was a couple, I know there was a couple of cold spots on that thing, wasn't there, Kim?

• 59:24Speaker 01

  Buddy, you know me well. But you mash it. That's when you start mashing it, use the heat from the other parts of the pie to infiltrate the rest of the pie.

• 59:33H. Foley?

  Even everybody up.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  Making everybody the same. Every now and then you catch a cube like a, some of this.

• 59:41H. Foley?

  Been there, dogs. Fucking piece of lasagna.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Some of those carrots are cut a little too thick. I was in a rush.

• 59:49H. Foley?

  Uh, that's alright, though.

• 59:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was a big thing of, you can put a bowl in the air fryer. Blew my fucking, blew my brains off. Didn't know you could do that. Right. Um, but to go back to, you tip the guy, I would, listen, I would tip the guy, I'm assuming in the, the, the carryout, there's some.

• 1:00:11H. Foley?

  Throw him a five.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  Couple, but there's gotta be a.

• 1:00:13H. Foley?

  The kid's outside.

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  There's gotta be a choice of like, can you add two or three bucks to this? You know what I mean? Hit him with whatever the suggested thing is. I would do that. If not, you get out and grease him, I guess. I don't, I don't know.

• 1:00:25H. Foley?

  You gotta get out and grease him, I think.

• 1:00:27Speaker 01

  I don't know if you help him, though. Do you, they?

• 1:00:31H. Foley?

  Yeah, I could see that.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  I can see both ways.

• 1:00:33H. Foley?

  Yeah, you help him and you throw him a five.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 1:00:37H. Foley?

  That's a lot of bad, that's a lot of fucking Jack Daniel's shrimp, I'll tell you that.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  But also, like, if you're like an able-bodied person, just go to, I don't know.

• 1:00:46H. Foley?

  People, people on time crunches, they got fucking appointments, they got kids, soccer practice.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  This goes back to the steak in the fucking car then.

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  Go when you have the time. You don't get, you don't get someone to bring you stuff just because you don't have the time. This, we're cut, we're cutting out, we're cutting out, there used to be, you gotta go to the store. I gotta go to the store. I, single mom, got the kid in the car, hey, I don't want to load the kid in, do that. You have them come out, do that. Pregnant, you have them come out, do that. Disabled, mobility issues, have them come out, do that. If our fat asses are sitting there and some kids-

• 1:01:17H. Foley?

  I got low mobility issues.

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  And low T issues too, from what I hear. And, uh, you bring, yeah, if you, you got some fucking kid putting shit in your car, what are we doing?

• 1:01:29H. Foley?

  I don't know. That sounds very kippy-roony.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:01:33H. Foley?

  Your take on this. What's the deal with curbside pickup? I don't like it.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  Does it not make sense?

• 1:01:42H. Foley?

  I can't leave my Christmas lights up all year, but you can pick up a gallon of milk at a Walmart.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  It hasn't been all year, it's been a month and a half.

• 1:01:49H. Foley?

  It'll be up all year.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  If this guy don't resurface, yeah, it's up, I ain't getting on that goddamn roof.

• 1:01:55H. Foley?

  Buddy, that guy's fucking down in Margaritaville, stepping on pie pops, whatever it's called.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  I thought he was pushing daisies, if I was being honest with you.

• 1:02:02H. Foley?

  Oh yeah?

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:02:03H. Foley?

  Older gentleman?

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  I've never met him.

• 1:02:05H. Foley?

  Huh? You weren't there when he did it? Look at you. Well, what's the deal with that? You got a guy come over and do-

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  Hold the ladder for him?

• 1:02:14H. Foley?

  I don't know, man.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, you don't need to be there if there's, if he's doing outdoor service work.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  What's the deal with that, retort?

• 1:02:20H. Foley?

  Well, I could pick up my English muffins at fucking Walmart and the curb if I want.

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  You got a guy bringing out just English muffins, that is the fattest shit I've ever-

• 1:02:31Speaker 01

  Just one bag of English, hands it to you through the window. Here you go, man. You got a, you got a toaster going on the dash?

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  That's wild.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  Ah, fuck me. Alright, let's see here, we got time for one more. This is from Gunner, um...

• 1:02:47H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 1:02:48Speaker 01

  "Ever bring your own sheets to a hotel? Growing up, my parents couldn't afford anything besides the cheapest hotels, and they didn't trust the cleanliness, so we had travel sheets. When we would get to the hotel, we'd strip the bedding off, throw them in the corner, and remake the bed with our home sheets. Only took about 3 minutes." I don't hate it.

• 1:03:08H. Foley?

  I don't hate it at all. I bet it was probably so much more cozier.

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  You know the sheet, it smells like your fabric softener from the house, it's like... And it's like new sheets. It's like new sheets on your bed at home, kinda like, that like...

• 1:03:22H. Foley?

  Oh, I used to love that. Every couple of weeks Patty'd roll in with fresh sheets.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  You're only changing the sheets every couple of weeks?

• 1:03:29H. Foley?

  Whatever she did, I don't know.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  I was paying a lot, so ours were... We were burning and turning. We were like an Applebee's at happy hour, dog. Burn and turn. Um, that's pretty good.

• 1:03:39H. Foley?

  It's not bad.

• 1:03:40Speaker 01

  Especially at those seedy, seedy ones.

• 1:03:42H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  You go like, "I don't fucking..."

• 1:03:45H. Foley?

  That's doing trash you right, too. Shout out to your parents.

• 1:03:48Speaker 01

  Yes. Cause it don't cost anything more.

• 1:03:49H. Foley?

  Keeping a little bit of class.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  It doesn't cost anything more, just a little bit more effort on your case. You gotta get up and go in and get the steak and the potatoes. You go get your groceries. You change the sheet. Hey, I'm just saying. I can't afford, uh, a Gallagher's Steakhouse, so I go to Applebee's. But I put my slacks on, my shoes, I tuck my shirt in, and I get my steak.

• 1:04:10H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  That's all I'm saying. Think about it.

• 1:04:13H. Foley?

  Making a little bit of sense.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:15H. Foley?

  Plus, when you go in, you get the bread basket.

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  You get the bread basket, you have a cocktail, you fucking, everything's vibing, like, that's... The thing they're selling is that fun in there.

• 1:04:23H. Foley?

  They always fuck you on the bread basket on to-go stuff. You never get the...

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  Cause you're never gonna... They're not tipping, you're not tipping them.

• 1:04:29H. Foley?

  I used to love that about New York, New York, uh, diners, when you got the, when you got an entree. You always get an entree. It's soup, salad, 2 sides of veg, and they'd hit you with the fucking bread basket to go.

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  Take it. Alright, let's go. Alright, we gotta wrap it up, though.

• 1:04:45H. Foley?

  Gang, we love you to death. Grab tickets to come see the boys on the road.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:48H. Foley?

  Uh, what else? See you next week. Peace!

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  From the studio that brought you WandaVision. I was an Avenger, but I'm not a hero anymore.

• 1:05:00Speaker 03

  The Vision returns for the final chapter of the groundbreaking trilogy.

• 1:05:04H. Foley?

  That family wasn't real. You sure about that? I had a father called Vision. How is this possible?

• 1:05:11Speaker 03

  Don't miss the two-episode premiere of Marvel Television's Vision Quest.

• 1:05:15H. Foley?

  Nothing bonds a family together quite like Mortal Jeopardy.

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  Now streaming, only on Disney+.