Nick Rochefort Returns!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Nick Rochefort! You know Nick Rochefort from Stand Up Comedy, Matan Even Podcast, Scuffed Realtor, Perfect Guy Life Podcast, Million Dollar Extreme, Harland Highway Podcast, Story Warz, Legion of Skanks, Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Cheers Restore: Same night out — way better morning with Cheers. For a limited time our listeners are getting 20% off their entire order by using code GARBAGE at https://CheersHealth.com Better Help: Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're gonna be classy.

• 0:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:10H. Foley?

  Or they're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:12H. Foley?

  I'm your host, Dave Chilly, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties and New Edition. She's off doing a polar plunge.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:19H. Foley?

  In the schoo-choo.

• 0:19Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 0:20H. Foley?

  Which I told her was a little dangerous.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Dirty.

• 0:22H. Foley?

  Alright, whatever.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:23H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin, James, Ryan, everybody.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify, and the boys are climbing the friggin charts.

• 0:41H. Foley?

  Yeah, we are.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Uh, then obviously the greatest website of all time. You take your little tablet out, your little phone, your little desk, whatever you got, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. Woo, love that money, gang.

• 0:53H. Foley?

  Yes, we do. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. He is, uh, an enigma wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in high-end fabric that you got at a secondhand store.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, wrapped in a 24-month prosciutto. Cause I look like I'm made of deli ham.

• 1:11H. Foley?

  A little bit of gaba ghoul. Give it up for Nick Rocheford, everybody. Thank you for having me. The king is back.

• 1:15Speaker 02

  Good to be back.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  Nicky Bones.

• 1:16H. Foley?

  In another realm, you are a evil genius. You're a Lex Luthor somewhere.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  I think we're in that realm, actually. We just, we, we don't know it.

• 1:23H. Foley?

  He hasn't made his move.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  That's nice. No, that's nice to say. I'm just a, I'm just a fucking moron.

• 1:27H. Foley?

  No, chef's say, I'm a fucking moron.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  No, you're-

• 1:30H. Foley?

  And every time you walk in here, you two start going off-

• 1:34Speaker 02

  I interrupted you-

• 1:34Speaker 01

  You're my, you're my, you're, you're my Rhode Island counterpart. Me and him are deep in, hey, what you got going on? What he got going on? He's texting me, damn, texting him, thing.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  You always have good ideas, but I interrupted you in your trigonometry homework that you were doing.

• 1:45H. Foley?

  What trigonometry homework?

• 1:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, you were, you were like, you had equations up and you were like, one second, I'll be done. Then you were counting on your fingers and you were like, angle. Right when we walked in here.

• 1:53Speaker 01

  He's also thinks this happened. He's like, wait, when was I at the chalkboard?

• 1:57Speaker 02

  I wasn't doing trigonometry.

• 2:00H. Foley?

  I genuinely feel like if this was the movie, something would happen to me and like you guys would be, you, you, you would find solace in Nick and, and be happy forever.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Stealing my credit card numbers. What are you talking about?

• 2:11H. Foley?

  But I feel like intellectually-

• 2:12Speaker 01

  This guy's a dirty, dirty person.

• 2:13H. Foley?

  I feel like intellectually, you, you'd be better off with Nick.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:17H. Foley?

  I would not.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  No, I need someone I can manipulate.

• 2:19H. Foley?

  I would die tragically.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  Well, that's gonna happen.

• 2:21H. Foley?

  Saving a bunch of people.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. I get my dick sucked.

• 2:24H. Foley?

  I get a hero's, I get a hero's death in the movie. But then you guys go off. That's when you find your bag of oranges. Like, what's her name, in, in the town?

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 2:32H. Foley?

  But I'm not in Florida. I'm dead.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  I'm doing coke somewhere.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  You found coke.

• 2:39H. Foley?

  We're talking about the town. Um, continue your conversation, what you guys were saying before. You were saying-

• 2:43Speaker 01

  I said, he's, he's, he's a ma- bit of a man of two faces. And I'm saying this as an ugly man myself. Uh, not that you're ugly, but you go, you are, you're-

• 2:52Speaker 02

  No offense to you personally.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  No offense to you, anybody-

• 2:54Speaker 02

  Well, you know, I have a full head of hair that I choose to shave anyway, you know what I mean? I like the, I like the, the fact that I have eight double A cup tits.

• 3:00H. Foley?

  No, stop.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Sometimes I look at you and I go, there's a dashing-

• 3:04Speaker 02

  Don't listen to him.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  A face, like, like, like, kinda like movie stars with, like, good character, good, you know, good lines, you know, you're a man's man, kind of. And then other times, when you were saying, I look like shit right now.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  A little bit of patchy skin, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  No, I have deli meat, my fucking organs aren't producing whatever the hell I'm-

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Need some enzymes.

• 3:21H. Foley?

  Don't listen to him, Nick. You got good color.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 3:23H. Foley?

  You got good style, you look good, you got the hat, don't worry about your-

• 3:25Speaker 01

  You think so?

• 3:26H. Foley?

  The shaved head, you shaved your head.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Do you mean it?

• 3:29H. Foley?

  Broads like that.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say it like a, I'm gonna say it like a, like a, like a lot lizard, or like a, like an ugly stripper.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  You really think so?

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Or I'm covering my no teeth. No, I have a, no, the, the organs working back on over, like, not drinking for, since the last-

• 3:45Speaker 01

  It's big.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  It's huge. Your skin's like, oh yeah, you can be skinned, but like, the, I have like cornflake textured skin.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  I feel so bad for ever fucking my wife, ever. You know what I mean? I'm like, you should, if I was ever having sex with my wife, my wife should shoot me from below me. You know, she should be like, ah, ah. Wham, for even thinking I could.

• 4:02H. Foley?

  I know, someone's attracted to me, like, what's wrong with you?

• 4:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, literally. How damaged are you, or blind?

• 4:07Speaker 01

  My big thing of, of getting married, I was like, I was, one of the, I was like, I'm so happy I don't have to reveal this to anyone ever again. There's like, that reveal's done. She's as comfortable with it as she's gonna be.

• 4:18H. Foley?

  We're on residency, baby.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I, I'm not gonna, I don't have to go, this is it.

• 4:22H. Foley?

  Ta-da. No new material, just a couple of shows in Vegas, a couple times a week.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Play to it.

• 4:28H. Foley?

  You get comped at the tables.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  Boom, a magic trick, I made you throw up inside your mind.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Uh, I do have one thing that I, you know, obviously you're a man of many stories of many-

• 4:39H. Foley?

  Eclectic guy, smart guy, business, fashion, style. You are, don't give me that shit.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  As I'm dressed like Rocky I right now.

• 4:47H. Foley?

  See, stop, stop. Own it, you know, you know that looks hipster.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  I would say-

• 4:51H. Foley?

  I bet you Luke would take, you would take him down to one of your spots in the, in the lower east side, right?

• 4:56Speaker 02

  We'd go to the monkey bar and eat, uh, the, the best burger in the state, or we'd go to the, we'd go get free tables at the polo, polo club or whatever.

• 5:02H. Foley?

  Wait, is the monkey bar a real spot?

• 5:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a hard to get into spot, yeah.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  Very tough res.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, what's the toughest res in the city?

• 5:08H. Foley?

  You know.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  Ah, you stink, Lou.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  I mean, for Charles, easy.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, that's like-

• 5:12Speaker 01

  We can't get that?

• 5:14Speaker 03

  President can't get that.

• 5:15H. Foley?

  You couldn't get me in a Carbone for my birthday, you loser.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  I got you a jar of sauce.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  Just as good, it's just as good.

• 5:22H. Foley?

  We got you some of their frozen raviolis.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, microwave Prince, Prince fucking Rigatoni.

• 5:27H. Foley?

  You stink.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  I do stink.

• 5:29H. Foley?

  Get me over to Smith and Lewinsky like an asshole.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, waiting table.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  Here's my, one thing, I, I, I, I pride ourselves on getting the dirt, right? And obviously you do a lot of curveballs, a lot of wacky fucking stories, you know what I mean?

• 5:42H. Foley?

  Strange guy, man.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  But, one thing that we missed, that I was shocked at, was somebody said, "How did you not get to Nikki Two Guns?"

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Oh, god.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Do you know about Nikki Two Guns?

• 5:53Speaker 02

  No, but I like it. No, this is gonna get way better, alright, so you guys got a bunch of cool-

• 5:57Speaker 01

  I had no idea.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  This is, this is garbage, you know what I mean, like, uh, you can always say, "What's the worst tattoo do you have, if you have any tattoos?"

• 6:03Speaker 01

  There's never been good answers, though, honestly.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Never been good answers.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  Not, not this good, this is, the show was made on this.

• 6:09H. Foley?

  We've never really asked about tattoos that much.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  There's never been-

• 6:12Speaker 02

  I'm shocked.

• 6:12H. Foley?

  Oh, you know, you know what realm we do put the tattoos in? If somebody or relative has the, uh, the Looney Tunes.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Looney Tunes?

• 6:19H. Foley?

  Looney Tunes or Disney.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Tweety Bird.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  Anything below the knee?

• 6:22H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Of, the, the calf is bad, any, any, any words, like loyalty, respect, only, you know, time is money, only god can judge-

• 6:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  Progress?

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Oh my-

• 6:31H. Foley?

  What the fuck?

• 6:35H. Foley?

  Why's one a revolver?

• 6:37Speaker 02

  Well, that's because it has my parents' date on it and my dad liked westerns.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Wait, your parents' date?

• 6:42Speaker 02

  My parents' birthday.

• 6:43H. Foley?

  Wait, does that say progressive?

• 6:44Speaker 02

  It says progress. I was a real poet. It gets better, it gets better, guys.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  This is crazy.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Now, when you're 14, when you're living in the hometown that I grew up in, you know the rich lacrosse hometown that I grew up in, you find a tattoo artist that tattoos children. For $75. So for $75, I got-

• 7:00Speaker 01

  They must have been great.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  Check this out.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Oh my, Rochefort on-

• 7:05Speaker 02

  That's, now that should have been Old English, because when we were kids, uh, Mark McGrath had Irish tattooed on his shoulder blades and we all wanted that. And then the guy from the Flies video had the other one, his name. Now, you couldn't, the reason why that's not Old English is because-

• 7:18H. Foley?

  You mean I got you where I want you?

• 7:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I got, remember the Flies video, like, man, that's a cool tattoo. It had like that Gothic lettering?

• 7:23H. Foley?

  That guy was smoking hot.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  Old English.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Old English was the shit. But when I asked my tattoo, Fatty, the guy who tattoos children in a tattoo shop, AKA a third-story walk-up apartment building where I was tattooed on a weight bench where I rode my bike to and I paid him in cash-

• 7:36H. Foley?

  So not a real classy operation?

• 7:38Speaker 01

  Three-dec a minute, that's-

• 7:39Speaker 02

  Not a clean operation either, but, no, the reason why it's not Old English, because when I asked him to do my last name in Old English, she said, "I don't know how to do Old English."

• 7:48Speaker 02

  "I'll just do something badass that everybody likes." So-

• 7:51Speaker 01

  I'll give you middle-aged English.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is, and that guy ended up dying from hepatitis. So, that's cool.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  Well, you survived that.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  There's a pretty good chance you could have got hepatitis.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, that's, I'm a 40-year-old guy with a 26-year-old tattoo, so that's, I'm still alive and my wife has hepatitis, but she got it from me.

• 8:09H. Foley?

  Really?

• 8:10Speaker 02

  She got it from that tattoo. No, I wish, no, I wish.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  Um, wow.

• 8:12H. Foley?

  I forgot about hepatitis. I forgot I had to worry about that.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  You think you got it?

• 8:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Do you have it now?

• 8:18H. Foley?

  I was, I was gonna say-

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Did you look at his tattoos?

• 8:20H. Foley?

  I was gonna, those tattoos, man.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  Awful.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Wait, why the two, are those guns you've owned at some point?

• 8:25Speaker 02

  No.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  Or just two random-

• 8:27H. Foley?

  Progress?

• 8:27Speaker 02

  No, I wanted-

• 8:28H. Foley?

  What's progress?

• 8:29Speaker 02

  Uh, I was like, I wanted graffiti lettering. I was a graffiti guy.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  Oh, wait, you were, what was your tag handle?

• 8:36Speaker 02

  Oh, god, there was a million of them.

• 8:37H. Foley?

  Wait, what?

• 8:38Speaker 01

  This is cra- how did we miss all of it?

• 8:40Speaker 02

  It was like direct-

• 8:41H. Foley?

  You were just talking about accordion, uh-

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Dirak, D-I-R-E-K. And then I would do like, it was really, I used to do it. I was, I loved it. I didn't spray, I was always like a marker guy, but- You know, you know when you're like a, just a snowboarder, a piece of shit kid?

• 8:53H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  X Games. Yeah. Gravity Games, dude.

• 8:58H. Foley?

  Mountain Dew, dude.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Backside.

• 9:00H. Foley?

  Code Red.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  That was me and I'm like-

• 9:03H. Foley?

  Crunchwrap Supreme, everybody!

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Well, I gotta culturally-

• 9:06H. Foley?

  Hold on a second, we're moving too fast.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  That shit hit heavy. Dude, that fucking dirtbag lifestyle when we were kids, dude, anything, I mean, I was like, dude, to spray paint, to be a graffiti guy, old English, young tattoos.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  Frosted tips.

• 9:21H. Foley?

  I will say this-

• 9:22Speaker 02

  We had these.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  I had all of them.

• 9:24H. Foley?

  I'm 10 years older than you guys.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  Wiser.

• 9:26H. Foley?

  And I used to, you know, really, really shit on yous, as far as like when you were younger.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Those guns are pretty cool.

• 9:33H. Foley?

  I'm getting-

• 9:34Speaker 01

  I gotta be honest with you.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Hi, tattoo artist.

• 9:35H. Foley?

  But this guy Fatty sounds alright. Now, where can I get this hepatitis everyone's talking about?

• 9:39Speaker 02

  Dig him up from his non-graven-

• 9:41H. Foley?

  When you really think about it, the machine really threw it at you guys hard.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Dude, media started, all that, it was so focused.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  American Pie, Maxim magazine-

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Maxim, FHM, there was like 10 magazines on being a dude.

• 9:55H. Foley?

  All the processed food you could handle. High fructose corn syrup-

• 10:00Speaker 01

  New flavors coming, extreme flavors.

• 10:03H. Foley?

  Extreme flavors.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Dude, there was drinks just for to drink while you played video games. That like, how could, how was I supposed to survive?

• 10:11H. Foley?

  Yeah, no.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, we were militarized. I mean, it was a military operation. They were teaching us how to please women. You know, Maxim magazine, "Do the alphabet with your tongue!" It was like an instructional.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  They don't like that?

• 10:22Speaker 02

  Backside!

• 10:23H. Foley?

  Hey, hang on, that's a good tip, alphabet.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, alphabet with your tongue. And then Carmen Electra will wanna bang you right away.

• 10:29H. Foley?

  Yeah, you guys got hit pretty hard.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  Tara Reid, but the problem is you get Tara Reid 2026, not 20-

• 10:34Speaker 01

  She had a bounce back, though.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  She did a little-

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, her head hitting the nightstand in a hotel after a Dubai prince kicked her in the-

• 10:40H. Foley?

  Yeah, forget about that. You had Tara Reid, you had Jennifer Love Hewitt.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:44H. Foley?

  Man, you guys didn't stand a fucking chance.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  We were dead in the water, bro.

• 10:47H. Foley?

  Dead in the water.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Not a fucking chance.

• 10:49H. Foley?

  Radicalized garbage.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  Yes. It was tough for us. We had American, we had Jason Biggs on a countertop fucking a pie. I mean, we were screwed.

• 10:55H. Foley?

  Shannon, um-

• 10:56Speaker 02

  Shannon Elizabeth.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  And that was like mainstream. That wasn't even like, this is counterculture. That was like number one in the box.

• 11:02H. Foley?

  Forget about what was going on the LimeWire at the time. Right, boys?

• 11:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, we were stealing music, for Christ sakes. Guy's Napster's going to jail for that. I mean, then we had the precursor, you had Camp Nowhere. Remember Camp Nowhere? That was when the kids steal their parents' money for going away for summer camp, but they make their own camp with Christopher Lloyd. And then that was the first time you saw kids kiss.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  Yes, yes, yes, of course.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  That one, and that was like, oh, whoa, French kissing. That was a little illicit.

• 11:25H. Foley?

  I thought you were talking about some dark web shit, which I don't want to know.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 11:28H. Foley?

  I don't want to know what you know.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  You don't want to know what he knows. Not in the Epstein era. No, no, no.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ. Okay, well, how many tattoos total would you say?

• 11:36Speaker 02

  Oh, I've got, well, I haven't gotten a tattoo in 20 years, so that was the last one I got.

• 11:40H. Foley?

  How old, when you got the Progress tattoo?

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Oh, that was, I was 19.

• 11:44H. Foley?

  And what was the, what did it mean? Forget about the style, what did it mean?

• 11:47Speaker 02

  It was nothing. I have ethic and optimism tattooed on this one, because I thought it was like memento when I was 19. I was like, you need to remember these, uh, these, these fundamentals to keep your life, uh, on point. If you, if you tattoo these words on your arm, you will forever be, no.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  He's crossing his eyes like Buddy Hackett.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  It's, it's like, uh, just, just a real jock poet, like I was desperately.

• 12:11H. Foley?

  But you were sincere about it.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I thought it was cool. Like, I thought it was progress.

• 12:14Speaker 01

  It was, dude, it was cool.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  I gotta be, it was, my boy, I remember my boy got loyalty tattooed on him.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  It's the same thing.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  And we were like, and at the same time, he was fucking our other friend's girlfriend, and I was like, dude.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  That's not loyal.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  Even then, at this point, I was like, you're going against the code, man. It's on your arm.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  He's like, lions never sleep.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, that shit. Lions were big, any, any.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  Clocks.

• 12:35H. Foley?

  Lions were big.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, these are, like, I know you, it's, trust me, I get it. It's the cringiest thing that I got. I mean, it's literally like.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  That's the coolest, if you ask me, it's the coolest thing I got.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  It's, it's fucking, it's, it's like The Program, the movie level, like, sentimentality. It was like, just the thing to do, you know, it's, it's embarrassing as shit, but.

• 12:54H. Foley?

  The Program came out in 1993.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Damn it.

• 12:56H. Foley?

  My senior year of high school.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  The best movie of all time.

• 12:58H. Foley?

  Playing football, our whole team, we went and saw it like, four times.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  It was great.

• 13:02H. Foley?

  We were in.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  How many of you wanted to be Latimer?

• 13:05H. Foley?

  Juicing?

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  Leading me?

• 13:07Speaker 02

  You're leading me on!

• 13:09Speaker 01

  Oh, God, that's right.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Latimer's a great character. Yeah.

• 13:13H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  That's how I charmed my life.

• 13:15H. Foley?

  So at the time, it was. And now you're flipping to the, you know, the ironicness of it.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  Jamie Foxx had the guns in, uh... Ah, any given Sunday.

• 13:24H. Foley?

  He did?

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  On his ba- oh, on his back.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  And I was like, wow, that's a cool tattoo. I want that. And I remember telling the guy-

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Did you own any guns at the time?

• 13:32Speaker 02

  I don't even own a- I have one gun now and I like it for a second.

• 13:35H. Foley?

  I don't even know where it is.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  I don't even know what it is. I own a gun like a, like a, like a pride parade. I'm like, ah, that thing's like, it makes loud noises.

• 13:42H. Foley?

  I got a wrist rocket.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not good. Like my, I think they look cute.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Sure. So you got, okay.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  I like guns like people like, yeah, like-

• 13:50H. Foley?

  So that was your last tattoo?

• 13:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm gonna go get more now. I'm having, my midlife crisis is gonna be a full back tattoo full of Russian prison tattoos.

• 13:58H. Foley?

  Why?

• 13:58Speaker 02

  I want them. I'm having a crisis.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  There's only God that can judge them, dude.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  I need to look smacked.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  That's progress.

• 14:02H. Foley?

  I would advise against that.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  Really?

• 14:04H. Foley?

  You can't go faking Russian mob tattoos? What are you, nuts?

• 14:07Speaker 01

  You do whatever the fuck you want. He's sticking two guns.

• 14:09H. Foley?

  They're not here? Stay away from Brighton Beach then.

• 14:12Speaker 02

  Really?

• 14:12H. Foley?

  And you didn't hear that from me?

• 14:13Speaker 02

  Oh, you did, no, cut this. Saint Petersburg?

• 14:16H. Foley?

  I wouldn't do that.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  No?

• 14:17H. Foley?

  No. Get like couches and stuff.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  You're also not a cool dude. You're right. Me and Nick are boys.

• 14:22H. Foley?

  Why don't you, you should get the Ames chair tattooed.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, that would be cool.

• 14:25H. Foley?

  Do shit like that.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Get an Ames chair, that'd be cool.

• 14:27H. Foley?

  But you're into that stuff and you make that stuff cool.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I wish. I, I, no, no. I, I think, I'm having like a full on, like, I'll get like Jesus pieces and like Christian and Catholic pieces.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  Did you ever own any, did you ever, we called, did you ever own a chain with a char- we called them charms.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  I never had a chain.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  Never did a chain.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  My brother does chains, I don't do chains. I wish. I feel like I would, it would, uh, get me claustrophobic.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  They're back heavy, big now.

• 14:49H. Foley?

  Get a nice, get a nice cross like this.

• 14:50Speaker 02

  I would, I want that.

• 14:51H. Foley?

  Burt, Burt has a nice one too. Burt has a nice thin gold one with a-

• 14:54Speaker 02

  A nice piece?

• 14:55H. Foley?

  A saint and a, and a cross.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  Really?

• 14:57H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's sharp. Hmm. That's what you should be doing.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  I should get a chain. I'll go to the 47th street and get a chain from Rex.

• 15:02H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 15:02Speaker 02

  Rex watches.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Do you, did you ever own any, um, you know, Echo, like what was, what was the, what was the fashion in high school?

• 15:10Speaker 02

  I had FUBU. My cousin John John used to get, he was like a, a big guy and I was like, eighth grade, I got like, big. I was fat. I was a fat eighth grader and then I got skinny, I'd go up and down.

• 15:21H. Foley?

  You guys were very lucky with that, your generation too.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, go up and down.

• 15:25H. Foley?

  For fat guys, we, you were, you were able to do the big sweatsuits.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  The baggy clothes was big.

• 15:29H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  The big hoodies every day.

• 15:31H. Foley?

  We didn't, I didn't have that shit in fucking 85 when I was a fat kid in fucking 7th grade. I told you, I was walking on that skin tight Adidas velvet fucking-

• 15:38Speaker 02

  Just trying to break dance.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  Looking, looking like the kid from Bad Santa.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  Two step, you were pretty good at it. You got like one move down.

• 15:44H. Foley?

  What do you mean you can't be box?

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Always look like you're about to start.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I tried to break dance too, I get it. No, I had a, I had like the FUBU, I had a FUBU rugby shirt that I remember distinctly.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  That's probably pretty dope though at the time.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was good, it was a good thing.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Did you ever do a durag?

• 16:05Speaker 02

  No.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  That was for, that was for the, the high level.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  High level white dirtbag.

• 16:09H. Foley?

  What about Tapout? You ever do Tapout?

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Nope, nope.

• 16:12H. Foley?

  No fear?

• 16:14Speaker 02

  I had a No Fear shirt. First place is, what is it? Second place is first loser. That was my Tapout, my No Fear shirt.

• 16:19H. Foley?

  Did you have anything on the, on the windshield of the car, like?

• 16:23Speaker 02

  I had an Escalade. I had, I had 24s.

• 16:25Speaker 01

  What?

• 16:26Speaker 02

  I had 24. Uh, 9, uh...

• 16:29H. Foley?

  I think you told us about the Escalade.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got a DUI in it.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  That was prime Escalade.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  I was a big rims guy.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  Who, dude, how could you not be?

• 16:36H. Foley?

  But not the banner on the front of the windshield.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  No, no, no, like lower or top. You'd get the lower one if you were really G'd out. I had the Escalade EXT.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Oh, the truck.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  The truck, the pearl white.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  With the badge in the back.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was sick.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  The white?

• 16:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, the Tony, Tony, the wholesale of my God, Vinnie got it for me.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Dude, for a, I mean, that was prime Escalade years. Rap, it was in every song. My dream car, and people will still send it to me when it pops up online, is like a 2005 Escalade with Lamborghini doors and spinners.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  I don't think, I think that's a future classic, I'm just throwing that out there. I think in the next coming couple of years, the 05, because the Escalade, it's a funny thing in the car business where, um...

• 17:11H. Foley?

  They're already kinda coming back those cars.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  They are.

• 17:13H. Foley?

  From the, from the mid 2000s, right?

• 17:14Speaker 02

  You ask anybody who ever owned an Escalade?

• 17:15Speaker 01

  If anybody owns a 96 Lumina, hit me up.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  They have like, like a culty, they're like, "I love my Escalade." And I'm talking like yuppies, like tennis yuppies will be like, "No, no, no, say what you want, don't talk about the Escalade like that." Which is a funny thing to say, yuppies. But you should just get one.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  I just got a, I just got a Tahoe last week.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  I thought, when you, you're halfway there.

• 17:33H. Foley?

  When you sent us a...

• 17:34Speaker 01

  Three quarters, come on.

• 17:35H. Foley?

  When you sent us a picture of that in, from the inside, I didn't think it was newer. I thought it was like mid 2000s, which I kinda respect it.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Mine.

• 17:42H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  I was gonna buy a used one, uh, they just didn't have one that I liked mile-wise. And I didn't wanna call him, because... He was gonna give me the stuff I didn't want to hear. That was my problem.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  We're gonna hunt for you.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  What?

• 17:54Speaker 02

  We're gonna hunt for you. We're gonna find you one from South Carolina.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  No.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  From some Gamecocks coach.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  That goes against everything in me.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  You just gotta go impulse buy.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  I walk on the lot, check in, hand, leave.

• 18:05H. Foley?

  What do you got?

• 18:05Speaker 01

  I'm buying.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  That one.

• 18:06H. Foley?

  Guy seemed like a good guy.

• 18:07Speaker 01

  I never test drove it.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  He was good. Guy was fast.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  Mauricio was his name. Gave me a warranty. They wanted 2,900 for the warranty. I said, call it two grand.

• 18:17H. Foley?

  That's the way my dad operated. And not that he really knew what he was talking about, and he kinda did, but he would go in, beat the guy up. As long as the guy said no to something, he would make the deal.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  That's, yeah.

• 18:26H. Foley?

  Just show me that you're human.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  What else was I gonna get? They gotta make money too. Everybody gotta eat.

• 18:30H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's fun. What'd you get?

• 18:32Speaker 01

  Tahoe.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Tahoe, what color? Sage green.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  I didn't even know.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Mint julep.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  Uh, no, like the tan. Or not tan, I'm sorry, the gray. Dark gray or whatever it is.

• 18:41H. Foley?

  You didn't get black?

• 18:42Speaker 01

  I didn't have it. Also, I didn't want to look like a fucking Uber driver.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  That's true. That's fair.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  Uh, that was the only one I could drive away that day, so I had, it had to get done.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  That's another thing that would work. You were like banging the table impatient, like, yo, Tahoe! Like, real bad.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Hello!

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Oh, you don't want, you don't want my money?

• 18:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. Uh, that was thrown around a little bit.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:59H. Foley?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:01H. Foley?

  Gang, we're coming into the spring. Sometimes it's tough to look around trying to keep up with the Joneses. It seems like everybody's got everything together and that you're falling behind. That is not the case. Everybody has their own shoes to walk in. If you're going through something, do yourself a favor. Get over to BetterHelp. Kevin and I have both done talk therapy. It absolutely helps.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Yes. Uh, you know, when you're looking around, you know, especially with your romantic love life, whether you're married, you think you shouldn't be married. If you're single, you think you shouldn't be single. You're looking for the truth. Most of us are trying to figure it out, and sometimes you gotta figure it out together with somebody. It's tough.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:34Speaker 01

  Um, it's not all flowers, candy, and stuffed animals around.

• 19:37H. Foley?

  It's not all moonlight and rainbows.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  No, it is not. Um, so you can find comfort with that. And the imperfect love life, you can find comfort with that with BetterHelp. Like the big man said, we've leaned on talk therapy many times in our life.

• 19:51H. Foley?

  I'm leaning.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  It is a great tool. I can't recommend it enough. They have, uh, BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists. BetterHelp is the world's largest online... Therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session. Based on over 1.7 million client reviews.

• 20:10H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 20:11Speaker 01

  Take that to the bank. That's something you can count on. And right now, you sign up and you can get 10% off at betterhelp.com/garbage. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash garbage.

• 20:22H. Foley?

  Do it. Kip, let's talk about Cheers Restore.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Cheers, cheers, cheers, gang.

• 20:27H. Foley?

  Gang, as you know, when you get past the age of 30, the alcohol starts hitting a little different.

• 20:32Speaker 01

  What about when you get to the age of 50?

• 20:33H. Foley?

  Woo, slows you down for meetings in the morning, slows you down for workouts, all that kind of stuff. Cheers restores a dual action after alcohol aid. Its ingredients support both your brain and your liver after consuming alcohol. Cheers was originally invented by a student at Princeton University.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  They're smart over there.

• 20:51H. Foley?

  Based on research into a novel compound called D H M.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  D H M has demonstrated powerful alcohol-related properties in the brain and liver. So Cheers was designed for how alcohol actually affects your body, not just the dehydration, which a lot of people focus on, which is important, but it ain't the only issue.

• 21:09H. Foley?

  True.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  Uh, Cheers has appeared on Shark Tank. Who don't love a little Shark? Hey, they've been on Shark Tank and for that reason, Kip is in.

• 21:17H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  Uh, today Cheers has sold in over 30,000 stores, including Walgreens, CVS, 7-Eleven, and Circle K. They sold over 50 million doses, 7,504 and 5-star reviews on Amazon, and Cheers is backed by doctors, PhDs, and over 1,000 verified clinicians who share it with their patients, baby. So here's the turkey. Uh, it's the same night out with way better, with a way better morning with Cheers. For a limited time, our listeners are getting 20% off your entire order by using garbage at cheershealth.com. Just head to cheershealth.com and use the code garbage for 20% off after your purchase. I'm gonna ask you how you heard about them. Tell them the boy sent ya. Are you garbage? We love you.

• 21:58H. Foley?

  Cheers. We're big on that. We're big on walking out of the store with it too.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  I'm wearing this hat. Really? Oh, wow.

• 22:04H. Foley?

  I want a new, I want a car. What are you, I'm not driving out here.

• 22:07Speaker 02

  Give me a hat. Yeah. Give me a hat and I'll, did you do that one?

• 22:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 22:09Speaker 02

  I want a Chevy hat.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  I bought it, I bought it via email.

• 22:12H. Foley?

  Sick.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  I want a GMC hat, I want a hat.

• 22:15H. Foley?

  Oh, that's a pretty good one.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  Well, Patriot, hit me up.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, Patriot Chevrolet?

• 22:19Speaker 01

  Auto group, they do many brands.

• 22:21H. Foley?

  Oh, no. I want a regular, regular car hat too. I tell you what, man, I saw that, uh, this comes out soon, right? The show, this broadcast?

• 22:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, tomorrow.

• 22:32H. Foley?

  Is it? Come out tomorrow?

• 22:32Speaker 01

  Are we known to can them for a couple of months? I gotta wait till sweep sweep. What are you talking about? You got Nicky Bones at the table, you get it out on the street.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 22:39H. Foley?

  Before. I saw the Indy 500 yesterday. That, that, between that and the F1 show, man, I really, I'm getting into that racing. I like it.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  I like you and racing.

• 22:48H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  I like that. Which one do you, do you like better, the Formula One or the Indy?

• 22:52H. Foley?

  I don't, he got me into Formula One a little bit with, with the F1. I tell you what, man, that goddamn NASCAR, those guys are rubbing paint and they're fucking going fast all the time. And they were down to the fucking, almost last lap, and they were all still tight together.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  Who's the guy? Is it TruX? Martin TruX Jr.?

• 23:08H. Foley?

  I don't know who won. Decker, I think, won yesterday.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  These are new guys.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was, I was, I was a, the Earnhardt, my dad drove, my stepdad, my stepdad was a amateur stock car racer.

• 23:18Speaker 02

  Really?

• 23:19Speaker 01

  Ah, very amateur.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  That's, you know.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  Flemington Speedway.

• 23:22Speaker 02

  A lot of Harvard grads in that audience.

• 23:25H. Foley?

  Then, then he put the horsepower thing through the dang roof.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Oh dude, that was.

• 23:29H. Foley?

  Who's running today?

• 23:30Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 23:32H. Foley?

  I wouldn't say amateur. He, he, he was, he was getting there. Could've got there.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  I had a friend that was.

• 23:37H. Foley?

  How far off from Selens, uh, Grove was he? Or Selensburg?

• 23:41Speaker 01

  About the same, but that's still, you're still far off. You're racing for like 300 bucks.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  How the fuck do these guys know multiple tracks?

• 23:47Speaker 01

  We're dirtbags.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that's, that's, you guys know more than one.

• 23:50H. Foley?

  Is it Selensburg or Selens Grove?

• 23:52Speaker 01

  Selens, Selens Grove.

• 23:53H. Foley?

  Selens Grove, yeah, shout out to it. You want a fun night, go out there and watch the race.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  Really?

• 23:57Speaker 01

  Dirt track, old school, dirt track with the swing. Couple of fucking side corners.

• 24:03H. Foley?

  Guys are moving.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Um, hmm, okay.

• 24:06H. Foley?

  Alright, so Nick's a scumbag. For the most part.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Have you ever crashed someone else's car?

• 24:12Speaker 02

  Uh, no. Uh, let me see, you know what's a fun thing we used to do? Uh, two, two things come to mind.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Bank jobs.

• 24:19Speaker 02

  You know, you know when you're drinking.

• 24:20H. Foley?

  Not go over a bread truck.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Vaults.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  When you're drinking and driving. Um, no.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  I've never done it.

• 24:25Speaker 02

  Yes, so. We used to drive girls' cars home from bars. We had a buddy's house that was always like, after the clubs let out, we had one guy that would like let-

• 24:36Speaker 01

  What were these clubs? Sorry to cut you off.

• 24:38Speaker 02

  Club Eagles, Club Prov-

• 24:39H. Foley?

  This is what, you're 19, 20, 20 years old?

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, 18, 19, 20, 21.

• 24:43H. Foley?

  You're doing pretty well.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Having fun.

• 24:45H. Foley?

  Yeah, and you're in your hometown.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  In our hometown, Providence, we're 15 minutes outside in Johnson. My buddy had a house-

• 24:50H. Foley?

  That's smart.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  He, one of my buddies had like a cool house-

• 24:53Speaker 01

  Talk about drinking and driving, that's smart.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  We were driving. We used to drive the girls' car, be like, "You girls wanna come over?" Like, we were, we were like in the Guido time. We grew up in like Jersey Shore era. DJ Paulie D grew up in my town.

• 25:03H. Foley?

  Right.

• 25:04Speaker 02

  So like, he was around. A buddy of mine, Joe Quatrochi's-

• 25:07H. Foley?

  He was around.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Parents had a small interest in a nightclub where, it was a nice place, it was like a fan-

• 25:12Speaker 01

  Small interest, small item.

• 25:13H. Foley?

  Yeah, I don't like the way you said that.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  Small interest.

• 25:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, I don't like the way you said that.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  But we walked in like he had a large interest.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  Of course, that's how you gotta do it.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  People get like turned down for the wrong shoes and we'd walk in there in like bathing suits and like Uggs.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Like jokingly like Uggs slippers and shit and they'd be like, "Come on, Nicky, come on in." You know, and I'm like the poor friend, these guys have cool interests in clubs and we're leaving-

• 25:31Speaker 01

  Such a dirtbag.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  And whenever we leave-

• 25:33Speaker 01

  That's what you say as the defendant. I had a small interest in the, in the place.

• 25:37Speaker 02

  Smoking cigarettes in the club and then you, you burn people's elbows to get through the back. Did you ever do that?

• 25:41H. Foley?

  What?

• 25:42Speaker 02

  Where you burn people's elbows to move faster through the club, when you could smoke inside. You would rip cigarettes and you would just like, you would touch the back.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  And they'd move.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, and you'd like, pss, right through the back to get to the back door.

• 25:51H. Foley?

  What the fuck is wrong with you?

• 25:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was cool, smoking, that's how I started smoking cigarettes, it was cool, you meet girls. And then we'd like, "Hey, do you girls wanna come back to the house?"

• 25:59Speaker 01

  Smoking cigarettes is cool.

• 26:00Speaker 02

  It is, I miss it.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  I miss it so much.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  I'm gonna have one as soon as I leave.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Let's have one after this.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's, let's, let's go buy two packs and just smoke them right there on the corner. Uh, and then we would drive the girls' cars home and we would drive them, one of my friends-

• 26:11Speaker 01

  What was this set, well, did you know these girls or you met the girls, like, "Hey, my buddy's having, my buddy's having an after-party"?

• 26:16Speaker 02

  I'll drive, so when no one gets lost. And they'd be like, "You guys are fun!" "Let's not get lost, it's kinda far from here, we're in the middle of downtown." "Like, it's fun, there's a pool, we'll have a pool, we'll have a bonfire." "We'll go and ball..." "And we would always drive their cars home."

• 26:29Speaker 01

  "There's someone's garage."

• 26:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  "Oh, we got a couch in the garage!"

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, it kinda is, like it kinda was. It's kinda fun. Um, my buddy Dave Beany and Rocco, so we used to bring the girls' cars back, that was fun. And then they would be in the middle of kinda, kinda nowhere after, but it was a...

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Sure, that's, dude, that's living, man.

• 26:47H. Foley?

  That is living.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  If you ain't living.

• 26:49H. Foley?

  You just put a MapQuest thing on there.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. "How to get home." "If you feel unsafe, it's just my cellphone." "Hey, you wanna come back?" "Round two, baby, already?"

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Huh. One thing that I've never, it's been a question on, from like the first week we've made the show, and I don't think I've ever asked anybody, but I feel this could be you. Have you ever done one of the punching bag games at like an arcade, a bar, or a carnival? You know what I mean?

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, the one where you punch it and it gives you a score? Yeah. Yeah, I did it like two weeks ago on the road.

• 27:19H. Foley?

  You have?

• 27:20Speaker 02

  Everybody's done that.

• 27:21H. Foley?

  He answered you that like you were an idiot. You've never done that?

• 27:23Speaker 01

  I thought I was explaining a wrong to him.

• 27:25H. Foley?

  He just got a simple, "Yeah, of course."

• 27:27Speaker 01

  I got one at the house.

• 27:28H. Foley?

  John Taffer lost $2 million on one of those machines. I lost $2 million lawsuit on one of those machines.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  The place was called Jester's.

• 27:36H. Foley?

  Wait, is that a true story about Taffer?

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, Taffer lost money on one of those. I learned that on episode, season three, episode six of Bar Rescue.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  You are the kind, listen, I also, we both watched a lot of Taffer.

• 27:47Speaker 02

  I'm surprised he hasn't been on here.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  Oh, dude, we tried getting him.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  What?

• 27:50Speaker 01

  Taffer hit us up.

• 27:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's coming.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  You know how hard it is to get him? He's not just hanging out.

• 27:54H. Foley?

  I'll make you a couple of bonfires, shonfire shots. Plus, he's gotta sit out in the SUV for 20 minutes watching this before he comes in.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  He's opening it out with the bartender, Johnny Pips.

• 28:02Speaker 02

  And he's just touching chicken. He's cross-contaminated.

• 28:06H. Foley?

  Look at the fat one there, he's touching all that chicken.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  He detached the microphone!

• 28:09Speaker 01

  Shut it down!

• 28:09Speaker 02

  He's gonna kill somebody!

• 28:10H. Foley?

  We're mid-show, he comes in and shuts it down.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  Maria Menudo walks in here. She's ordering everything off the menu.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  Do you have a cocktail menu?

• 28:19H. Foley?

  That's the problem with the test, though. You have everybody come in at once, of course they're gonna get slammed.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  Distressed table.

• 28:24H. Foley?

  300 people don't walk in at the same time?

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Never.

• 28:27H. Foley?

  Not in. And they get real, like those, those people, see that's a, that's the, that's the problem with human beings. You give them a little, like they're, you know, the judges, they start being dicks.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:37H. Foley?

  You know what I mean?

• 28:38Speaker 01

  I've been waiting fifteen minutes for my mocktail.

• 28:39H. Foley?

  You're eating a fucking Santa Fe egg roll, Eddie, shut the fuck up.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly, yeah. You're, yeah, you're eating a fried egg roll at a bar, right.

• 28:45H. Foley?

  It'd be a break.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  He used to have a, he used to do a bit of taffy. You know what this bud eats? Palm trees. That's his answer to everything.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  A butt funnel. You like that joke?

• 28:55Speaker 01

  That was a good bit. I like you doing the taffy was, was very funny.

• 28:59H. Foley?

  All right, bring that back. Cut that.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  Cut the whole, cut the whole segment. Send that to me, please.

• 29:05H. Foley?

  But go ahead, I'm sorry.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  No.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  No, that was it.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  That's it, yeah. I can't believe.

• 29:08Speaker 01

  Talk about a guy who got lost in the conversation.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  I can't believe, uh, no one's ever, like, yeah, every, I think everybody's done one of those, those.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  I never have. I was always, I always thought I would whiff and just like, and then be like, this kid's the biggest pussy. Yeah, I don't, I didn't put myself in the situation.

• 29:22Speaker 02

  Your wife just hands you divorce papers immediately. She's like, no, that can't happen. Yeah.

• 29:26H. Foley?

  We get the precursor to that at our, uh, fairs and bazaars was, uh.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  Bazaars?

• 29:30H. Foley?

  You don't know what a bazaar is?

• 29:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, but nobody says that.

• 29:33H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  What, what'd you get?

• 29:34Speaker 01

  Not cool guys who drive Escalade.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  What was the game?

• 29:36H. Foley?

  The Holy Saviors, uh, Bazaar in the summer up in, uh, in Wilkes-Barre. It was hot. Say the pancakes, fifty fifty, a lot of gambling. But the fucking, the thing with the mouth.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  Oh, the sledge, the, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Hit the ring the bell?

• 29:47H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  The masculinity contest.

• 29:49H. Foley?

  Win a prize pig?

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. Hey, that's my mom you're talking about. Her name's Gail.

• 29:53H. Foley?

  I was gonna say, that's how my parents got me.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  Sorry, mom. She, she loves your show.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  Sorry, Gail. Is there any other, uh, carnival game you would say you're good at? Like, I, I claim to be very good at the crane game, no?

• 30:04Speaker 02

  No, no, I'm terrible at them. I, I, I feel like that's where, that's like the young hook for gamblers. My roommate in college, Mike Melk, I watched him spend like a hundred twenty-five dollars at a basketball.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  And like, it was to the point, I think he was trying to win a girl, a teddy bear thing.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Chasing a hog.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  I'm like, Mike, you lost it eighty bucks ago. Like, like, the girl doesn't even care anymore. Now, now you're just like watching the gambler turn on. He's like, no, it's not right. And I'm like, what?

• 30:28H. Foley?

  She's making out with some other guy behind the tent.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, literally.

• 30:30H. Foley?

  Turning up with it. I got it!

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. She's like, I don't care anymore. He's a Kino champion.

• 30:35H. Foley?

  You ever walk out of there with a goldfish?

• 30:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 30:38H. Foley?

  You ever walk out of there with a hermit crab?

• 30:41Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 30:41H. Foley?

  What a loser.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  No, I know, I'm a loser. Yeah, damn, I'm a carnival loser.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Thought you got pussy, dude.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  Nah, no pussy.

• 30:46H. Foley?

  You never want a goddamn goldfish?

• 30:48Speaker 02

  No carny pussy for me, I wish.

• 30:49H. Foley?

  What?

• 30:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 30:50H. Foley?

  I bet you were too scared to get into the salt and pepper shakers, too.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  What's, you got, you guys got salt and peppers as a fucking con?

• 30:57Speaker 01

  Salt and pepper is like, uh, it's very 1950's, like, it's, you know.

• 31:02H. Foley?

  It's very dangerous.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Damn it.

• 31:03H. Foley?

  It looks like an egg, and they both spin like this, and then it goes around in a circle. It's a ride. It sure sounds fun! Boy, you boys are really whipping around with that one. Who wants to get CTE? This is made with wartime plastics. See? Who wants to ride the asbestos rocket, huh? Hop right in, kids! Be careful with your fingernails, gets under there, you'll be in a world of trouble. You know the salt and pepper shakers?

• 31:31Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm, I got you, big guy. Have them with your, have them with your.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Where the hell are you guys from, the past? Would you guys get a time machine to get here?

• 31:38Speaker 01

  That's what.

• 31:38H. Foley?

  Doing this thing.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  Whoa! You guys had the jitterbug to meet your wives? Like, holy shit.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  That is, I don't know, it's just like how my mom would, we'd go up on a board, and I'd go, "You did a salt and pepper shaker?" Like, yeah, it was just what they called it. I guess it was very of the, our parents' generation called it that, and that's just what it's stayed in.

• 31:55H. Foley?

  I never got in there, I was too scared.

• 31:57Speaker 02

  No, okay.

• 31:58H. Foley?

  This is like, this is 1980's, outside of Philly.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  No wonder why the punching machine must have looked like a robot that was trying to fight you guys, like.

• 32:05H. Foley?

  Yeah, none of that new fang-dangled science.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  Me and my cousins all show up to square off with it?

• 32:09Speaker 02

  The robot was talking shit to me.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  Come on, let's get him.

• 32:12H. Foley?

  Can this thing move, or what? I think it'll chase us, let's get out of here, Harry.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  There he is, I'm pulling him out from across the boardwalk.

• 32:19H. Foley?

  Talking shit, huh?

• 32:20Speaker 01

  There he is, I swear to God.

• 32:22H. Foley?

  Look at him over there staring at me. So you're the one I've been hearing all this talk about, huh? Watch us square up with me!

• 32:27Speaker 02

  Hey, the two nut jobs from the past are here again. In your 40's film noir detective costumes.

• 32:33H. Foley?

  Candy apples, who'd have thought, huh?

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Dick Tracy and his cousins are here to kick the machine's ass.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  I've seen it all.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  Oh, God, okay.

• 32:43Speaker 02

  All right.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  Uh, what was the name, uh, growing up, or I assume at some point you were an independent rental store, like movie rental store guy? What was that?

• 32:52Speaker 02

  Major Video. Major Video, yeah, it was a good one. You guys didn't have, no, you Blockbuster.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were, I was, until Blockbuster came in and shut it all down, we were Epic Video.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:01H. Foley?

  I can't remember our hometown, our hometown one before West Coast and Blockbuster. Um, I can't remember. I know there was one, I just can't remember the name of it.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  That smell, remember that smell?

• 33:12H. Foley?

  That smell of Blockbuster, yes. I worked at a West Coast video, it was awesome.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  They make a candle, a Blockbuster candle.

• 33:17H. Foley?

  Really?

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Yes. Yankee Candle makes a Blockbuster Yankee Candle. I found that out, we called them.

• 33:22H. Foley?

  What don't you know? You know a lot.

• 33:24Speaker 02

  Nah, I wish.

• 33:24H. Foley?

  Don't stop doing that.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  All right.

• 33:26H. Foley?

  Stop discrediting, you know a lot.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  What did they call that, when you're a, uh...

• 33:30Speaker 01

  Scumbag.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  Scumbag, yeah. When you're full of scum, and you're a bag of it.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  Um, and you're a varsity Kino player, you have a lot of time to stare at your phone. I'm really gonna get the minutes out of my phone, put my, my, uh, my data plan.

• 33:42H. Foley?

  The, uh, the decorating, home decor world that you're in. House, all that stuff.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Oh, I have a great question.

• 33:49H. Foley?

  They really...

• 33:50Speaker 02

  That's a weird transition.

• 33:51H. Foley?

  Do they not know what to make of you?

• 33:53Speaker 02

  No, that's a good one, it's, it's, um...

• 33:54H. Foley?

  Like, when you were saying there that you sat around with, you said we're sitting around with those guys, and like, this is the kinda stuff that they talk about, that you love, what do they think of you?

• 34:02Speaker 02

  It's...

• 34:03Speaker 01

  He's the guy from the other side of the tracks to them.

• 34:05H. Foley?

  You're like nine different people.

• 34:06Speaker 02

  It is, it's fun.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  This is Nicky, he's a little dangerous, but he knows about candles.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  He loves his, his decor, he's a beautiful Nancy Meyers guy.

• 34:14H. Foley?

  Nancy Meyers, shout out to Nancy Meyers.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  I think my dad had, I think it started with my dad, Rocky, who I'm dressed like, I'm dressed like Rocky, one. Um, he was a, uh, he was, he had a furniture guy, Dick Triconi, and he would work this guy, he's dead now, he would work this guy for living room sets, so my dad would change living room sets like a, like a lady with, like, shoes and shit. So I'd come home from school and he'd have like a whole nother theme, like new drapes, new... My mom would go to the, like, I'd come home in the living room and be like, what the fuck happened to the living room set? He's like, this one's way more. This one's worth nine grand, I got him, oh, not, not back then.

• 34:50H. Foley?

  So that was the step into the world.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  That was that, and then my mom worked at a, uh...

• 34:53Speaker 01

  But it was always money, the value of it was like, this one's more money.

• 34:56Speaker 02

  This, I'm trading up, he took it back in trade, which is crazy, to take a furniture, a furniture store would take our shit back in trade, which is nuts. And he would get like, and he would work them, and then, so it started to get like, I'd think about my bedroom set, my parents would let me do like, pick out wallpaper stuff. They'd be like, "Go ahead, and we'll do it. Me and your Aunt Denise will do the wallpaper and blah blah blah."

• 35:13H. Foley?

  You would pick out wa- you weren't getting like, baseball mitts?

• 35:16Speaker 02

  I was, I did, I got baseball mitts. And I would get like, the border. Remember the border? You'd get like, the Red Sox border. You'd get the blue bottom with the striped top and the red sock. Remember that?

• 35:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, you'd have it done nice.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  You'd have like, that Three Ninjas house.

• 35:26H. Foley?

  Wallpaper's kinda coming back from right here.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, Wallpaper from the 70's dot com. That's a big website. Shout out. You owe me money.

• 35:31H. Foley?

  You said 70's dot com?

• 35:32Speaker 02

  No, there's a wallpaper website called Wallpaper from the 70's dot com, which is like, a really good place to go buy wallpaper.

• 35:38H. Foley?

  I'll tell you what, my ultimate, like, if, you know, I'm not great with that stuff, but I would love to have a house that was like, 70's style. Early 80's.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  A mid-mod.

• 35:47H. Foley?

  Like, the way, uh...

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Mid-modder, is that what that is?

• 35:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, mid-mod, yeah.

• 35:50H. Foley?

  The way, um, uh, what's it, fucking, uh, That 70's Show, the way that kitchen looks, that reminds me of like, when I was a little kid.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  They're around. I mean...

• 35:58H. Foley?

  Which I desperately want.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  Philly's got a lot of them outside, outside... You gotta get it, right? Which I'm dying to get back to.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Which I'm, I'm trying to get back to the 70's, baby.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  Which, yeah, which cast member of Boogie Nights are you gonna be? Are you gonna be William H. Macy, or are you gonna be Philip Seymour Hoffman?

• 36:11H. Foley?

  My wife's got her ass in the cock in the driveway. I'm not gonna be Dirk Diggler, I can tell you that.

• 36:15Speaker 02

  What the hell are you doing out here, honey? He's like, "I'm getting laid, honey."

• 36:18H. Foley?

  I would've been a combination of Scotty and, um, what's his name? Uh, the guy that gets killed. Uh, not Aaron Eckhart, whom I thinking of? The guy that was the dancer. Blonde-titted guy.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  The dancer.

• 36:30H. Foley?

  Ah, I brought it to a screeching halt. Not Aaron Eckhart, but the other guy that looks just like him. He was in Hung.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  Aaron Eckhart?

• 36:38H. Foley?

  I don't know. Eh, whatever.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  I'd be the, I'd be the Asian guy lighting the fireworks off in that...

• 36:42H. Foley?

  Ming?

• 36:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, Ming. Thomas Jane.

• 36:44H. Foley?

  Thomas Jane, goddammit. Neither one of you idiots knew that?

• 36:46Speaker 01

  I never, I never liked the movie.

• 36:48H. Foley?

  What?

• 36:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  It was a weird movie.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  I called it at a weird time, I guess.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:52H. Foley?

  That's right, you both run the same age, isn't that weird?

• 36:54Speaker 02

  That's the first... Kid directed that movie, 19 years old when he got that movie. He was like, 11 when he got that deal.

• 36:58H. Foley?

  Who?

• 36:59Speaker 02

  The, the...

• 36:59H. Foley?

  Paul Thomas Anderson? Burt Reynolds hated it.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  11-year-old that wants, of course Hollywood. An 11-year-old that wants to write a movie about porno? Perfect. Hold you, kid. Doesn't matter.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  I'll sure it in.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  Get him in there, yeah, yeah.

• 37:10H. Foley?

  Care what's talk about chime? As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 37:15H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 37:17H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish, I could go back and say, hey, I wish I had Chime.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  I know. Listen, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks coming after ya.

• 37:44H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, that it. Oh, oh, five dollars for this, ten dollars for that. They got their hand in your pocket.

• 37:51H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding, fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. Look at that, I know, I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage, that's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes.

• 38:26H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  Um, this is one that's come up, we did a whole episode on it. What do you do or have in your life? And it might not be expensive or super nice, but that makes you feel classy.

• 38:50Speaker 02

  Hmm, an espresso machine.

• 38:52Speaker 01

  At the house.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  A Lamar Zaco. I have a Lamar Zaco and a, uh, a rider. Six grand.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  What'd you pay?

• 38:58Speaker 02

  Six grand. No, I paid $4,800.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Retail's pay sucker.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I wish.

• 39:02Speaker 01

  Suckers pay retail.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  That's the, every day I leave my house, it was like, three years ago, I got it. And my buddy owns a coffee shop, Bolt Coffee in Providence. And I was like, hey, man, I called New England. I know you can get a double gang Marzocco, the $25,000 ones. I know you can get them for six grand.

• 39:14H. Foley?

  You're looking at it like we know what you're talking about.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  You know that espresso machine.

• 39:16Speaker 01

  We got a Keurig with fucking two.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's gotta go immediately. Like that, I'm taking that with me. I'm doing you a favor.

• 39:22Speaker 01

  Sal Volcano is gifting us an espresso.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  Supposedly.

• 39:26Speaker 01

  Suppo- I'm still waiting. He sent me a fucking picture. I ain't even seen it yet.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Is it a real one?

• 39:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:31H. Foley?

  It's a pretty good one.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  Four or five grand?

• 39:33H. Foley?

  I think it's a...

• 39:34Speaker 02

  Linnae Mini?

• 39:35H. Foley?

  No, what's the company?

• 39:36Speaker 02

  La Marzocco.

• 39:37H. Foley?

  No, it's not La Marzocco.

• 39:38Speaker 02

  It better not be a...

• 39:40H. Foley?

  Breville.

• 39:40Speaker 02

  No. Yeah, that one, it's not gonna cut it.

• 39:42H. Foley?

  No?

• 39:43Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  I got it right here.

• 39:43H. Foley?

  Who's Sal Marzocco?

• 39:45Speaker 02

  Sal Volcano.

• 39:46H. Foley?

  No.

• 39:48Speaker 02

  Oh, La Marzocco.

• 39:48H. Foley?

  I know Sal.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  This guy's good.

• 39:50H. Foley?

  What's the name of the company?

• 39:51Speaker 02

  La Marzocco. It's the one you see at the coffee shop.

• 39:52H. Foley?

  Oh, I know what you're talking about.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, you've seen it. La Marzocco.

• 39:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, okay, alright.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  So you can get...

• 39:56Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a Breville.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  It's, yeah, the Breville. No, you're not getting that. That's a thousand bucks. You're gonna blow right through that.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  The Barista Touch. Stainless steel.

• 40:03H. Foley?

  Looks very nice and Sal loves it. Appreciate it.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  I wish I had a Sal's money. I'd send you way, no. You can get a reffered double gang, like a two, two things.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, but then I gotta be a fucking barista.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  A reffered double gang. Two gang is two handles, and I find one from this company.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  This guy's gonna be pouring that in fucking, in two weeks. What are you, nuts?

• 40:20Speaker 02

  What machine? What coffee machine? You mean the Keurig? Roach took that out of here, threw it off the balcony. Boys, we got robbed. You're never gonna believe this.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  I got good news and bad news. Bad news is we've been robbed. Good news is I got new sunglasses.

• 40:34Speaker 02

  Two Italian guys.

• 40:35H. Foley?

  Wait, where's the espresso machine in the house? In the kitchen?

• 40:39Speaker 02

  In the barn.

• 40:40H. Foley?

  In the barn, where you work?

• 40:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:41H. Foley?

  Right.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  So I have the business that runs out of the barn. In the back of it, it has the grinder, which was 1,800. I had to pay for it retail for that. And then I have...

• 40:48Speaker 01

  That's a standalone product.

• 40:49Speaker 02

  Standalone product.

• 40:50H. Foley?

  Gotta grind your beans fresh, they say.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  You gotta grind them fresh.

• 40:52H. Foley?

  That's what they say.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  That, how did this work?

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Keurig does that for me.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is all in one. It's in the cups.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  It's in those plastic cups that are totally good for you.

• 41:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, burning plastic is good for you. And then I bought like the to-go cups. I have like a big ice thing.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  And you got a Stanley. You're a cute little bitch, you know that?

• 41:08H. Foley?

  Yeah, you are.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  You guys are so much fun.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  You are a cute little girl.

• 41:12H. Foley?

  Where are you going, to Borders after this?

• 41:14Speaker 01

  Uh, go to Target.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  I'm going to ALO to get some yoga pants from that'll go to my ass.

• 41:19H. Foley?

  I go to Borders to shit in the back.

• 41:20Speaker 01

  Um, okay.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  So that is...

• 41:23Speaker 02

  It's a good shit spot. Yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  That makes you feel that's it.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  I leave every day with like a nice coffee cup with two, I, two double shots of espresso over ice with a touch of milk and two, three stevias.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Now, I learned that it makes it, does it make a double? It only makes a double?

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's got a double, the porta filter has a double splitter. Yeah, the thing that, that's called a porta, porta filter.

• 41:41H. Foley?

  You mean it only makes double, the double shot espresso?

• 41:43Speaker 02

  And, and I make them what's called like soupy, which is like I overbrew them. I, I keep it in there too long. You're supposed to put in like, you're supposed to let it only go to like thirty grams or something. I let it like soup up, so I put, I overbrew it. Which is like a thing, but you don't, I don't know how to order.

• 41:58Speaker 01

  It's a choi-, it's like an artistic choice.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  I, no, it's like, I think it's like, honestly, I think it's like a scumbag. Like, I want more coffee out of this thing than they're gonna give me.

• 42:04Speaker 01

  Thirty grams?

• 42:05H. Foley?

  One of the last places I, I waited tables at, Snack Taverna, which is closed, I always say it, shout out to it, was awesome. But, they had a crazy fucking espresso machine and I worked breakfast. I had no idea what I was doing. I never really knew how to do it right.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:19H. Foley?

  You know what I mean?

• 42:20Speaker 02

  It's like twenty-one grams in and like this, like you weigh it, it's all weight. And I was like, this is cr-, so my buddy taught me, he gave it like a ghost moment, he's like holding the hand and like teaching me how to do it, it was, it was gay. It was pretty gay. He's fingering you? Yeah, yeah, I'm kissing him.

• 42:33H. Foley?

  It's the only way to do it, right?

• 42:34Speaker 02

  I never liked women. I'm leaving my wife tomorrow.

• 42:37H. Foley?

  Sam Marzano would want it this way.

• 42:39Speaker 02

  I wanna open a coffee shop with you so fucking bad. Let's move away to the Cape.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  That's a really good answer.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  But yeah, no, that one, that was like life-changing. And that, that and like a decent cologne and perfumes and stuff like that.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  Makes you feel nice.

• 42:52H. Foley?

  What's decent for you, cologne-wise? And I can't remember if we asked you this.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  Uh, Ganet, Marc, Marc Antoine Barrois, like, my wife was a buyer for Home Goods and Marshes.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 43:00H. Foley?

  Right.

• 43:00Speaker 02

  So like, she gave us like, she got me on a fragrance early, from like, uh, Palisanto.

• 43:05H. Foley?

  He does.

• 43:05Speaker 01

  Is there anything you're behind, eight balling? Every time I told you, like, eh...

• 43:08H. Foley?

  Fucking fences, gravel, you're all over the map.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Health. Liver health.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  I got into health at forty-one.

• 43:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, right, yeah, I just, just figured out that I have organs inside my body.

• 43:17H. Foley?

  You know Baccarat, the, the fragrance?

• 43:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a good one.

• 43:19H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  That's, that's...

• 43:20H. Foley?

  I got, I got that at the house.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, you see, you smell great.

• 43:22H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  It's nice.

• 43:23H. Foley?

  These are, I'm using, well, right now I have on a dupe. All right?

• 43:27Speaker 02

  A dupe.

• 43:28H. Foley?

  Maybe like a...

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Smells like, all right.

• 43:29H. Foley?

  Maybe like a year and a half ago, uh, my wife had wanted the, that perfume or whatever, that fragrance. I don't know, I think it's men and women. The red one, I don't know what it's called.

• 43:37Speaker 02

  Baccarat Rouge.

• 43:38H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 43:39H. Foley?

  Is that men and women?

• 43:39Speaker 02

  Five hundred bucks, yeah.

• 43:40Speaker 01

  Unisex?

• 43:41Speaker 02

  It's unisex.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  Most of them are.

• 43:42H. Foley?

  I've been having a lot of that.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Most of the good ones.

• 43:45H. Foley?

  I'm just jerking off alone crying, right?

• 43:47Speaker 01

  It's a name of my next perfume.

• 43:49Speaker 02

  But I smell good.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  And then, uh, she went and re-upped on it, uh, I don't know, maybe like six months ago. And she gave me a couple of samples.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:59H. Foley?

  And I just found them.

• 44:00Speaker 02

  Live for the samples.

• 44:02H. Foley?

  Yeah, me too.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  Live for the samples.

• 44:03H. Foley?

  I love having the variety.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  That's as good as the espresso machine. It's lucky scent you can get. If you say, "I like Baccarat Rouge", they'll send you six that you should like. It's like Spotify.

• 44:12H. Foley?

  Summer lighter, summer other.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  You have a scent algorithm.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  Yes. And they're like, "Oh, you like to smell like Baccarat Rouge? You like to smell like a, uh, a svelte NBA player."

• 44:22H. Foley?

  I saw, I don't know what this means about me.

• 44:24Speaker 01

  Cut.

• 44:25H. Foley?

  Me, my, uh, my hormones, my sexuality, or me as a man in general. I think I smell better with perfume on.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  You might. You know they smell different than everybody?

• 44:35Speaker 01

  And my, and my dick tucked into my asshole.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  I think I smell better when I'm kissing my husband on Fire Island.

• 44:43H. Foley?

  Is it me, or is it me, or do I smell better when I'm getting nailed from behind?

• 44:48Speaker 01

  It's hot, right? It's weird. I know you smell so good today.

• 44:51H. Foley?

  I swear to God, I do.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 44:53H. Foley?

  I, I need, I need something like, I'm not much of a man.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Is it weird? I can only come with a dick in my mouth. Is that weird?

• 44:59Speaker 02

  Is it, is it weird? I have the convertible top down and I'm holding hands with my husband?

• 45:05H. Foley?

  I think we should get a place over here on Fire Island. Yeah. I swear to God, though, I'm like better with the lighter, you know?

• 45:11Speaker 01

  Well, I'm sure, yeah, you're not a musky man.

• 45:13H. Foley?

  I'm not a man's man.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  You're, you're a lady. A bit of a leag- you're a bit of a manly lady, I think. You've gone the other way. You're a bit of a, you're a bit of a butch dude.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Well, you did say you turned on that roller, little butch dude, like a Rosie O'Donnell in that movie about the buses.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  About the buses. Ah.

• 45:31H. Foley?

  Ah, shit.

• 45:32Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 45:33H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 45:34Speaker 01

  I thought you were just winging it. You don't have anything written down.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  You know, one time you-

• 45:38H. Foley?

  Yeah, I do.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  You crossed out his name. And when you were, when he said Baccarat, you wrote down BA.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:44H. Foley?

  Hey, don't expose what I do. I'm acting over here.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  Diary of a bad man.

• 45:48H. Foley?

  No, I wrote down, uh, Sadie Alphabet.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  For what?

• 45:52H. Foley?

  I don't know what that, and I wrote down major video. For eating broads out.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  This one says, "I love dung." Um, okay. Guys, we're having fun here.

• 46:01H. Foley?

  I didn't mean to crush it, even.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  Oh, you think he'd take that person?

• 46:06H. Foley?

  I redo it in a heartbeat.

• 46:09Speaker 01

  You write down Henry Rochefort?

• 46:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, right. It's just a picture of us on a wedding cake. I'm canceling the tickets to Fire Island for your birthday. Like, forget it. He's never gonna go for it.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  Guys, you think Nick likes me?

• 46:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:22Speaker 01

  Are we gonna, well, cancel that idea?

• 46:24H. Foley?

  Henry Rochefort actually has a real nice.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  Henry Rochefort's a good guy. Henry Foley stinks. Henry Rochefort got a couple of bucks.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  They love each other. They're fucking in love. They were nosing together at Skank Fest. I was like this. No, you're the best. No, you're the best.

• 46:36H. Foley?

  That's fucking good.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Um, hmm. Have you ever gone to a wedding reception and not the ceremony?

• 46:43Speaker 02

  Trash.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  Wow. Dirtbag move.

• 46:45H. Foley?

  That is a dirtbag move.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Dirtbag, that that's even open? And not the ceremony?

• 46:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's rough.

• 46:51H. Foley?

  When you're on the fringes, though, that was-

• 46:53Speaker 01

  I don't mind that.

• 46:54H. Foley?

  That was a di- I think there was a different time for that.

• 46:56Speaker 02

  No one wants to see you at the ceremony.

• 46:58H. Foley?

  You have to.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Unless you're like your cousin or somebody like close where you're like, I really care about this. Otherwise, just go to the party.

• 47:05H. Foley?

  No, no, no, it's okay. You two are mixed up.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  You ever not give a gift?

• 47:09H. Foley?

  Yeah, once.

• 47:10Speaker 01

  And then I've been asked about it.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  Sorry, Bruce Barrett, I didn't give you a gift. I was a real piece of shit. I went to the mental hospital a week after that.

• 47:16H. Foley?

  Yeah, so did I.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  I was in a really bad place that night, and then Peter Patacari called me out for smelling like weed at your reception. I really embarrassed. He's like, who's Rochefort? You smell like a fucking blunt.

• 47:25H. Foley?

  Who said this to you?

• 47:26Speaker 02

  That's my new cologne. Peter Patacari.

• 47:27H. Foley?

  Peter Patacari?

• 47:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:28H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, Ocean State. Ocean State dumpster. Fucking asshole, right in front of my aunts. Like, real, like, embarrassing. Like, you know when you're like high as a kite and you walk in, you smell like blunt? And it's like, Rochefort, you smell like fucking weed. And I was like, shut the fuck up. Talk about freaking somebody out. Yeah, yeah. I'm there with no gift.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  Shut up, dude, they're gonna know.

• 47:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're gonna know. They don't have a gift for me. They saw me not walk over to the table.

• 47:52H. Foley?

  It's a half a box of cupcakes.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm the girl that's not on the invitation.

• 47:55H. Foley?

  Listen, this is what I was trying to say.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  That's so funny.

• 47:57H. Foley?

  I think for a minute, for you guys, at a certain point, that did become somewhat fashionable. To just show up to the

• 48:05Speaker 01

  Reception.

• 48:05H. Foley?

  Reception, yes.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  I don't know about fashionable, yeah.

• 48:08H. Foley?

  But I don't, I don't think that's lasted, and I don't think that's a good thing.

• 48:12Speaker 01

  No.

• 48:12H. Foley?

  I also think it's very trashy, where that's kind of, i- i- if there's a wedding where that's kind of the thing. Oh, the, the, the

• 48:21Speaker 01

  It's a small

• 48:22H. Foley?

  The ceremony's gonna be real small.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  It's like a funeral versus a wake.

• 48:25H. Foley?

  But we're doing the Ramada right after.

• 48:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:27H. Foley?

  That's, there's gonna be a fight.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  We've glorified the drinking of the, of the wedding.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  That's all, the, I'm so indoctrinated to like, that's the only reason you go to a wedding.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Did you get highly embarrassed? You ever go to, at your wedding?

• 48:44Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  Okay, you know, it's like, everybody

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Did I blackout and call my wife a bitch? Yeah.

• 48:48Speaker 02

  Everybody thinks they're the best, right? Like, you're like, I have a nice family. I come from a nice family. My wife comes from a nice family.

• 48:54Speaker 01

  No.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  And then it's, here come the fucking cousins. Like, the shit you see your cousins do.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  All my She-Rock hanging cousins.

• 49:01Speaker 02

  You're right, right, and they're like

• 49:02Speaker 01

  How mu- do, I had a, we went to a, went to a bar afterwards.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  And we're like, you know, twenty dollar cocktails and shit, and they were like, "What the hell? Thirty dollars for a martini?"

• 49:12Speaker 02

  I'll be next door.

• 49:13H. Foley?

  You know what they're charging you?

• 49:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, loud, right to the bartender, yeah. My, my, my father-in-law brings a box of decent cigars. My cousin John John grabs all of them right out of the box.

• 49:22Speaker 01

  Shout out to John John.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  Puts them in his pocket and starts handing them out like he bought them.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  John, classic John John move. I respect that.

• 49:28H. Foley?

  Got you a cigar, kid.

• 49:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're good shit.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  I was like, whoa, bro.

• 49:32H. Foley?

  That's a fucking move.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's, he's like, a house. He's like, six-six. Yeah, I got you, I can hear him saying, "I got you a cigar." I'm like, "Mike brought the cigars."

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Cause the dirtbag move, the real dirtbag move is to just take them. The mastermind is to go, "I'm gonna get good credit from this."

• 49:49Speaker 02

  Yup.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  "I'm gonna look like the big shot who brought the cigar."

• 49:53H. Foley?

  Not caring with the guy who bought them.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was a wild one.

• 49:56H. Foley?

  That's a sociopath.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  Where'd you get married? Where did you, uh?

• 49:59Speaker 01

  We did a small, we did City Hall in New York and then, um, uh...

• 50:02Speaker 02

  Least New York, New Yorkers I've ever seen in my life.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 50:05Speaker 02

  I just don't...

• 50:06H. Foley?

  First of all, we're not New Yorkers.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  I know you're not, clearly. You guys strike me as totally... And then I see you in New York.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  What do you want me to be like a slice of pizza or something?

• 50:14Speaker 02

  We're not from Bensonhurst. Hat nights, like, "Oh, we got married to City Hall." That's so fucking crazy.

• 50:18Speaker 01

  It was for a green card. Fly out to the Hamptons.

• 50:22Speaker 02

  Do you helicopter to the Hamptons?

• 50:23Speaker 01

  Nobody goes to the Hamptons anymore.

• 50:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 50:26Speaker 01

  He was uptown on 6th and 9th. Like, who gives a shit?

• 50:28Speaker 02

  He's not John F. Kennedy Jr.

• 50:30H. Foley?

  Right.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  A City Hall, like, that's, that's very, like...

• 50:33Speaker 01

  There was, my wife is from another country. It wasn't for the green card, but that was a part of it.

• 50:39Speaker 02

  Your wife is from, really?

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, my wife's German.

• 50:41Speaker 02

  Really?

• 50:41Speaker 01

  Who I think is here. Did I hear my baby crying? Yes.

• 50:43H. Foley?

  Oh, no way!

• 50:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  That is cool. Wow, that's so cool that she's here.

• 50:47H. Foley?

  Don't leave, I wanna see the kid.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  I heard a baby crying, I'm like, "That could only be mine."

• 50:51H. Foley?

  That's so funny, I didn't hear him. You didn't hear him either.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  I didn't.

• 50:54H. Foley?

  Well, that means you're, like, tapped in. Wow, you are the father.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  It's time for you to babysit. Why don't we bring the baby on here? We can babysit while we're doing the podcast?

• 51:04H. Foley?

  That's a good accent, I like that.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  Okay, cool. Alright.

• 51:07H. Foley?

  So, anyway, that's my thoughts on the, uh...

• 51:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta go to the reception. You have to go...

• 51:10H. Foley?

  You gotta go to the ceremony, yes.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  I, I, listen, I agree.

• 51:14Speaker 02

  We do have to be better people morally.

• 51:15Speaker 01

  One of my, one of my, one of my favorite things ever, too, is...

• 51:19H. Foley?

  Sorry, real quick, I'm gonna cut you off.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:20H. Foley?

  You can just go to the wake, though.

• 51:22Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that's...

• 51:23H. Foley?

  You can go to the wake.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  You can just go to the wake. I think the funeral, to me, was always, like, closer friends and family. As I've gotten older, I feel like that's extended a bit, but, you know, it's like, if you go to the church for a funeral, it's...

• 51:35H. Foley?

  The funeral, I will say this, the funeral's nicer. The funeral, you're gonna, you're gonna feel more connected, and I'm not talking about the funeral at the church or at the, you know, wherever your house of worship is or whatever. At cemetery, you get a, you get a cloudy day, you get a nice crowd, you get a priest that, or whoever, that can kinda give it a little something for a couple of minutes, and maybe you have little bagpipes or something in the distance.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  And you look like you're in the November Rain video for Guns N' Roses.

• 52:03H. Foley?

  You're dropping the roses on, on the grave.

• 52:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:05Speaker 01

  I'm shredding a fucking face melting solo.

• 52:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. You, you guys look like Boyste Man in the back.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  And we both know hearts can change.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  Now, do you guys do the-

• 52:16H. Foley?

  No podcast lasts forever.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Hey, don't say that.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  Do you guys do the hard drinking after?

• 52:23H. Foley?

  No.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:25Speaker 02

  Like the hardest-

• 52:25Speaker 01

  This is my favorite, this is one of my most favorite setups of, and experiences with my family of all time was, it was my grandmother passed away, uh, my whole family's from Kensington, Port Richmond.

• 52:37Speaker 02

  The Rich area.

• 52:38Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah.

• 52:39Speaker 02

  Kensington, beautiful. Yeah, summer there, yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  But, um, so everybody-

• 52:43H. Foley?

  I fentanyl there.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  That's where I not off. Um, everybody, a lot of our families' funerals, specifically my grandmother and grandfathers, are still in that area.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 52:54Speaker 01

  Like, still in the neighborhood, at the churches. And my, uh, aunt and cousins live right across the street. So that's like, set up shop.

• 53:03Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Cause the funeral takes so long, cause it's, you know, a neighborhood thing, and it's so big, and so we would go, we'd be going to get beers.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  In the middle of the thing, and you're in the back, you got a heater going, and people are smoking who don't always smoke. The uncle's coming out like, "I haven't smoked in 15, give me one of them," kid, and you're sitting there crushing beers, it's like 11 a.m.

• 53:23Speaker 02

  That's-

• 53:24Speaker 01

  And you're in the row home in Port Richmond, I fucking love it.

• 53:26Speaker 02

  That is Drinking Hall of Fame.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  My favorite aunt, my, my Aunt Corky died, uh, and my cousin Jay's is my cousin-

• 53:33Speaker 01

  Shout out Aunt Corky. What was Aunt Corky's real name?

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Colleen.

• 53:36H. Foley?

  That's pretty close though.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  That's a good one, Corky Aunt Corks.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  She, and we-

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Hey Aunt Cork!

• 53:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, right. Up in the sky, definitely in heaven, sitting right next to Jesus himself. Hundred percent. And everybody loved Cork, she was fun, you know, so I was fucked up about it, she was, we got, um, we went to the Italian Workman's Club after. And got five kinds of annihilated.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  Love it.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  So, this is, this is like a world, I'm talking like, we're sad, we're hammered, my cousin's my age, my cousin Jay, and we're getting, there's like 15 of us, we're getting like fucking blotto, like-

• 54:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:06Speaker 02

  Now, his uncle Eddie is- A small guy who's thin, a smaller guy and he's like, he's like there, they call, he's like, I can kick the ceiling. You ever meet guys that have physical prowess at like 55 and they're like, they can do splits?

• 54:17Speaker 01

  I can high kick, I want it on, I can high kick, yeah.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  You can high kick? Really?

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I can't hit the ceiling.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  But you can, you can have a high kick.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  I can get the kick over my head, yeah, yeah, I can get your head.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  Like if I held my hand up high, you could kick it and you might have shown that, yeah, you could kick my head. Awesome, I want, I want you to kick me in the head, I do. And Eddie's like, I can jump on top of a cigarette machine. Now, he's saying all these things and I-

• 54:35Speaker 01

  That's crazy, that's such a dirtbag feeding strength.

• 54:37H. Foley?

  Man.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  A cigarette machine, not like on the bar, that stool, a high top table.

• 54:42Speaker 02

  I can jump on, like a cigarette machine is like a little higher than a bar, I'm like, fuck you. Now, now I'm a ballbuster, I'm like, fuck you, you can't-

• 54:47H. Foley?

  What about a table, I don't do tables.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  I ain't jump, what do I, that's bush league, my wife could jump on a table.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  What am I, a lady?

• 54:53H. Foley?

  The Dirtbag Olympics.

• 54:54Speaker 02

  So, we're, we're having an Olympics kind of thing going on, I'm like, he's kicking the ceiling and I'm like this, he's like, that's fast Eddie, I'm like, nah.

• 55:00H. Foley?

  You don't know who that is?

• 55:01Speaker 02

  I'm like, I'd fucking smoke you Eddie. He's like, fuck you, you fat piece of shit, you'd never smoke me. Now, I'm at the bar and people kind of hear us like kind of getting loud. Now, he's like an uncle, he's my cousin's uncle, so I don't really know him that well, but I'm, I'm ribbing him hard, I'm like this, I play football, I was like, I don't know, no.

• 55:14H. Foley?

  Wait, your cousin's uncle?

• 55:16Speaker 02

  He's like my, on the other side.

• 55:16H. Foley?

  That should be your dad, oh, okay.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  My dad's fast Eddie?

• 55:21Speaker 02

  My dad, yeah, my dad was so quick, so he was like, I'd smoke you, I was like, you'd never smoke me, he's like this, he's like, watch out, and I hear this lady tell me like, watch out, he was the fastest guy in school. Shit you not, and I'm like, are you from the past? Yeah, right, right, she's kind of like, do you, do you play salt and pepper, salt and pepper shakers? So, we go in the park-

• 55:38Speaker 01

  This guy thinks it's a game.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, he's like, I don't even know what the hell that is. So, we're like this, I'm like, I'll bet you, I'll tell you what, I'll give you a hundred dollars if you can beat me in a foot race. And he's like, ah, you're on, so now, everybody dumps out into the parking lot.

• 55:49H. Foley?

  You're drunk.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  Hammered, in a suit, in a parking lot, on a hundred yard dash, we pace out a hundred yard dash.

• 55:56H. Foley?

  How long ago is this?

• 55:58Speaker 02

  I was 26.

• 55:59H. Foley?

  Alright, alright, you're 26.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  I was 27.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  How are you size wise?

• 56:03Speaker 02

  I'm 6'3", 258.

• 56:04H. Foley?

  And Eddie, Eddie's small, but he's-

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Eddie's 5'7", not, Eddie's 5'8, 5'8", 150.

• 56:11H. Foley?

  But 55 years old.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  And like, he looks like a karate instructor.

• 56:14Speaker 01

  Also, the name Fast Eddie, let's not look past Fast Eddie.

• 56:17H. Foley?

  Fast Eddie is risking serious bodily injury.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's 50, yeah, he's 51 at the time, probably.

• 56:23H. Foley?

  He's, he's risking a lot of time off of work.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 56:26H. Foley?

  Maybe some workman's comp.

• 56:28Speaker 02

  Mind you, he's the bar back at the bar we're at.

• 56:31H. Foley?

  Fair enough.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  Mind you, so we're like, we're like, but I remember, I was smoking pot out of a bowl. About two hours before that, I saw him whack the ball, so I know he's fucked up. I'm like, nah, I'm gonna get him.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  Also, you're not fucked up.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  I know, I'm like, I'm like in prime drinking, so I'm like, nah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna beat him.

• 56:45H. Foley?

  Twenty-six, that's a big difference.

• 56:46Speaker 01

  Also, the drinking hits you, you, there's a, there's a psychol, that phase of drinking where you're like, I'm fucked up, and then to the point where like, I could probably fucking do that.

• 56:54H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:54Speaker 01

  And then you go, I can't do it again. But if you get in that phase of...

• 56:57Speaker 02

  I was in like the, I can, I can win three pool games.

• 56:59H. Foley?

  Twenty-six, you're superhuman.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. You know, you don't realize it now, but like, I had, like, I played football, so I had like a sprinter stance.

• 57:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  I'm stretching myself out, and people are like, what's Rochefort? Like, everybody didn't know, no one knew I went to, like, no one, we didn't talk to each other. I went away for school, and they were like, I don't know what he's doing out there in New York. I went to Wagner College, so they didn't know. And I'm sprinting, and I, I beat him. So, we, we line up, Mark Kitekko, I beat him. He says I cheated. I said to him, I beat him again. I'm dying, can't breathe.

• 57:29H. Foley?

  He was a hundred yards?

• 57:29Speaker 02

  Cause I was a hundred yard.

• 57:30H. Foley?

  So, a football field?

• 57:31Speaker 02

  A football field. We did a full football field.

• 57:32H. Foley?

  Fuck that.

• 57:33Speaker 02

  So, I was so happy, cause it wasn't, it was pretty close. It wasn't like an easy win. I was like, full forty. I remember like every step, like, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. Like, don't look up until you're up on the plate.

• 57:42H. Foley?

  Looks like you should've been wearing that outfit.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  Right, I was, da, da, da, da, da, too drunk. Like, I can only imagine, like, we're walking by this thing, we go inside.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  Rocky, me, Fast Eddie, me and you, outside.

• 57:50Speaker 02

  We go inside, the lady...

• 57:51H. Foley?

  Punch of Italian kids chasing you?

• 57:52Speaker 02

  You beat Fast Eddie? Uh, cut to, uh, two, uh, ten years later, my cousin opens a bar, Fast Eddie's, uh, Cocktails and Dreams. My cousin Jay. Names his place Fast Eddie.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  No shit?

• 58:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  After Fast Eddie?

• 58:04Speaker 02

  After that night.

• 58:05H. Foley?

  Ah.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  What a fuck, I mean, look at that.

• 58:07Speaker 02

  I was like, you're gonna change your name, Fast Eddie. We're gonna call you Slow Eddie from now on.

• 58:10H. Foley?

  Don't do that.

• 58:11Speaker 02

  He was so pissed off.

• 58:12H. Foley?

  Was Eddie alive to see the bargain open?

• 58:14Speaker 02

  Oh, he's still alive. Hey Eddie, just remember, I smoked your ass. You'll never beat me. I'll beat you now, I'll beat you then, you're never beating me. I'm the fastest drunk guy in, in that parking lot that night.

• 58:22H. Foley?

  He's probably in his seventies.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, good, I'll beat you then, I don't care. I'll kick your wheelchair over, you're never gonna smoke me.

• 58:28H. Foley?

  You heard him, beat him.

• 58:30Speaker 02

  Nah, I wanna beat you again, this time worse.

• 58:32H. Foley?

  Rochefort, let it go.

• 58:33Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 58:33H. Foley?

  The man's dead.

• 58:34Speaker 02

  Nah, he was talking too much shit then.

• 58:36Speaker 01

  I love how you're trying to make, yeah, you're like, talk shit on heaven, and you're clearly just a crazy person. Holding a grudge with...

• 58:42Speaker 02

  Like he's a frail old man now? Yeah.

• 58:44H. Foley?

  I wasn't even there that night.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  Who the hell did you be? I beat a homeless guy?

• 58:48Speaker 01

  I reminded my stepdad's wake or funeral afterwards. We were at a bar, the Buck Hotel. Shout out to Buck Hotel right off Street Road and...

• 58:55H. Foley?

  Nice joint.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  We were there, we did the lunch in there and then we're at the bar drinking, you know, with me, a couple cousins, uncle like really fucking drinking. Stepdad was a big drinker and he liked vodka, so we're doing shots of Absolut.

• 59:09Speaker 02

  What?

• 59:09Speaker 01

  And every time we're doing one, we're putting, I got friends in low places on the fucking touch tunes.

• 59:15Speaker 02

  Those guys.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Sitting there just fucking crushing it.

• 59:17H. Foley?

  I never got to do that.

• 59:18Speaker 02

  Shots of vodka with that...

• 59:20Speaker 01

  Absolut.

• 59:21Speaker 02

  Absolut, oh god.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  Warm Absolut.

• 59:22H. Foley?

  I never got to do that with any of the deaths and I had a good amount, a pretty good run there. That where I was able to like...

• 59:28Speaker 01

  A good run of people dying around me.

• 59:29H. Foley?

  To let it all go and have that night. Like my dad's I couldn't because like we, you know, it was like at the house and we had to be somewhat responsible.

• 59:36Speaker 01

  That's what we look, my family looks for that of like, wait till, wait till everyone leaves.

• 59:40Speaker 02

  Call me next year and I'll be your date.

• 59:41H. Foley?

  I didn't want to end up like Brad Pitt and Snatch crying with, you know, when they were like holding him back after his mom died at the wake.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  When you're burning your mother's, you're burning your mother's caravan.

• 59:53Speaker 02

  You're lighting your aunt's Pontiac Sunfire on fire.

• 59:57Speaker 02

  You're throwing a Molotov cocktail into her cavalier.

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  Ah, there's a good, she's in a better place now.

• 1:00:02H. Foley?

  I got my shirt on. Real slow motion. It's just me attacking the hoagie drag.

• 1:00:10Speaker 02

  See you on the phone with Subway complaining?

• 1:00:13H. Foley?

  Dun dun, shh.

• 1:00:15Speaker 02

  It's badass looking though, your hair's all wet.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  God damn.

• 1:00:20H. Foley?

  Shout out to Snatch, what a movie.

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  That was a good movie.

• 1:00:22H. Foley?

  Oh my god.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  That was, that was.

• 1:00:23H. Foley?

  I don't know why he doesn't do anything funny anymore.

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  Guy Ritchie?

• 1:00:26H. Foley?

  No, State, no, he does. Um, I just watched, uh... Again, I watched the whole thing all the way through, um, ungentlemanly, ungentlemanly acts of warfare, something like that. It's got Henry Cavill and the dude from Jack Reacher, really good, very Guy Ritchie.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  I've never had you as a movie buff in my head, but you are a movie buff.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  He likes a movie.

• 1:00:44H. Foley?

  I wouldn't say that.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:45H. Foley?

  It's on Netflix.

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  I would.

• 1:00:46H. Foley?

  What I was gonna say is, uh, what's his name, uh, Strathen.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  Oh, Jason Statham.

• 1:00:51H. Foley?

  Yeah, he's so-

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  You haven't said anyone's name, Ryan.

• 1:00:54H. Foley?

  Ratchford. Kevin Bryan.

• 1:00:56Speaker 05

  But that's my fucking name, Ryan.

• 1:00:58H. Foley?

  And Luke Twimsy.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  That's pretty good.

• 1:00:59Speaker 05

  That's not bad, eh?

• 1:01:00H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's very good.

• 1:01:01Speaker 05

  It sounds a bit in the headphones.

• 1:01:02H. Foley?

  He's so funny in fucking, uh, Snatch. He's doing comedy.

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  They're, yeah.

• 1:01:07H. Foley?

  Turkish, yeah.

• 1:01:08Speaker 05

  Turkish.

• 1:01:08H. Foley?

  Not a lot of people named after a plane crash.

• 1:01:11Speaker 02

  That was a good movie, yeah.

• 1:01:12H. Foley?

  Great.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  He's an Olympic diver.

• 1:01:14H. Foley?

  I digress.

• 1:01:15Speaker 01

  You have a pepper grinder at the house?

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:01:17H. Foley?

  Got to.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  No, I got the factory one, the one that you buy the pepper it comes in it.

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  I don't have an automatic one, though.

• 1:01:22H. Foley?

  Really?

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  I would have pegged you for an automatic battery, guy.

• 1:01:24Speaker 02

  I would too, but I don't.

• 1:01:25H. Foley?

  Can we ask you about your, um-

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  What's the corkscrew situation at the house?

• 1:01:28Speaker 02

  Standard.

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  Standard.

• 1:01:30Speaker 02

  The metal one, no, no, no frills.

• 1:01:31H. Foley?

  You keep wine in the house?

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:01:33H. Foley?

  Nice bottles?

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  Natural wine.

• 1:01:35H. Foley?

  Oh, that's right.

• 1:01:36Speaker 02

  French natural wine, biodynamic.

• 1:01:38H. Foley?

  Did you tell us about this, your natural wine thing?

• 1:01:40Speaker 02

  No. Um, my buddy John Sarasulo-

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  He's got a small interest in a vineyard outside of Roths-

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  Got a tiny little interest in a biodynamic farm in France, in the Beaujolais region of the Rothschild, uh, the lower sector.

• 1:01:51H. Foley?

  Do you enjoy a Beaujolais?

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  No, I'm a, I'm not, I, I like, honestly, I like, my white wine choice is-

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  What do you do?

• 1:02:00H. Foley?

  Oh, God.

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  It's white wine. I like, uh, I like like mineral, like rocks in my mouth minerality from, uh-

• 1:02:05H. Foley?

  Like a riesling?

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  San Sers, like, uh, yeah, uh, weird, apparently I'm supposed to like rieslings, according to my buddy John.

• 1:02:11H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  He sent me a bunch, and I like the French natural wine stuff, like, uh, wow, what the fuck is that?

• 1:02:16H. Foley?

  You gotta get a German riesling, you'd like that.

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  Gemaise.

• 1:02:19H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  German rieslings are the one.

• 1:02:21H. Foley?

  Something right on the border.

• 1:02:22Speaker 02

  That's what they say.

• 1:02:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, French and Germany.

• 1:02:24Speaker 05

  You're, you're a regular sommelier, aren't you? Turkish knows his wines.

• 1:02:29H. Foley?

  No, I worked at a corporate restaurant and they taught you all that stuff. A lot of people shit on corporate restaurants.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  The hell corporate restaurant?

• 1:02:34H. Foley?

  It was Devon's, it was Arby's.

• 1:02:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was gonna say.

• 1:02:37Speaker 05

  We've got the beef.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  We got a Sprite from outside Detroit.

• 1:02:42H. Foley?

  What do I got a pair of these horse tips with, huh?

• 1:02:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. How the hell did you... German Riesling at a corporate restaurant?

• 1:02:47H. Foley?

  I worked for Devon Seafood and they, they taught, they teach you all that stuff.

• 1:02:50Speaker 01

  That's not, was Devon corporate? Is that...

• 1:02:52H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, Houlihan's owned it.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 1:02:54H. Foley?

  Owns it.

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  I didn't know that. I thought it was more like...

• 1:02:56Speaker 02

  They bought it out after they had you as a waiter. And you really wowed the investors. They're like, "Look at this kid, he knows the stuff."

• 1:03:01Speaker 01

  We closed the Houlihan's deal.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  Got an onion blossom. This kid's recommending a Riesling from the, from, an Austrian Riesling. How the hell did he know that? A Gertzweiner?

• 1:03:12H. Foley?

  If you guys need me, I'm in the bathroom crushing up some Perkas after.

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. They're like, "Oh, never mind."

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  Have you ever been to a vineyard?

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:23H. Foley?

  Which one?

• 1:03:24Speaker 02

  Uh, I went to one on my honeymoon. Uh, I went to the Malibu Vineyards and when I lived out in Los Angeles, that was a fun thing. I saw Emma Roberts fall through a hay bale. That was fun.

• 1:03:32H. Foley?

  Deep cut?

• 1:03:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. I walked in, Emma Roberts was like right there and she like fell off the back when she was talking to her friends. And then, uh, it was like the most girly girl day out in Malibu Vineyards. I was going with my wife and her friends. And then I went to one in, uh, this is really, I went to one on my honeymoon in Italy.

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  Italy?

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  Positano for my honeymoon.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  Very nice.

• 1:03:48Speaker 02

  It was super nice. And then they give you this, uh, trip to a vineyard. I'm fucking hammered in the lobby the night before. Like, Blotto, we're in Italy, no kids. You know, who walks in my...

• 1:04:00Speaker 01

  Did you have kids before you got married?

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  No. No, we were, uh, we're old with kids. Yeah, right.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  The way he said that was like, "No kids." I'm like, "That sounds like Pop Pop's watch number."

• 1:04:08Speaker 05

  Ended up buying a kids lighter.

• 1:04:12Speaker 02

  So we're, we're in the lobby of this, you know, the Il San Pietro, which is like a bougie hotel my wife got out on points. I'm sitting with this couple, this rich couple. I remember they had big bucks, because the, the woman came home with like 10 Birkin.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Big bucks.

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  Like she had Hermes bags. We went to Capri and got Hermes and they came back and she had bags on bags. And I was like, "What's that?" And my wife's like, "That's probably like a hundred thousand worth of bags."

• 1:04:31Speaker 01

  Hermes, Hermes. I was like, "Wow, I never heard of this shit." Anyway, I gotta take a dump. You think I could dump in the ocean?

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  You guys shopping? Yeah. "What'd you get her?" "Wow, someone's getting it tonight." Wow, $10,000 bag?

• 1:04:44H. Foley?

  You try the ice cream they got over here, it's delicious.

• 1:04:46Speaker 02

  You're gonna be eating a lot of it tonight, Toots.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  I picture you out like the hotel pool or the beach with the two gun dads.

• 1:04:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, right, really, I'm there, literally.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  Where's your vineyard at?

• 1:04:56H. Foley?

  They got good stuff there? Alright, I'll try it.

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  Heard the spaghetti's good. So we go there, who walks in the lobby? Chris Klein from American Pie.

• 1:05:04H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  Second American Pie reference today.

• 1:05:06Speaker 02

  I'm hammered, I look, the funniest thing I can think of is I go to my wife, I go, "The fuck is Klein doing here?"

• 1:05:14H. Foley?

  Well, well, well, we meet again, Klein.

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  And he's like, "What?" So I go up to him, like, "What are you doing here?" And he's like, "What?" Like, kinda like nervous, like, I was like, "I'm just fucking with you, man." I was like, "I know who you are." And he's like, "No, no, it's cool." And I was like, "Yeah." He's like, "Yeah, I'm on my honeymoon."

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  That's even creepier, "I know who you are."

• 1:05:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, right. He's fucking, he's Oz from American Pie. So then I'm like-

• 1:05:33Speaker 01

  He's Oz from American Pie.

• 1:05:35Speaker 02

  We shoot the shit, he's like, "I'm going to the vineyard, you guys..." You got, so we went with him. We like, we took a car to, we're sitting with Chris Klein at this vineyard. They sit you down at a table-

• 1:05:43H. Foley?

  Wait, you took a car with him?

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  No, we met him there. They put you in a car for your hotel.

• 1:05:47H. Foley?

  Well, hold on, so this interaction with him, you didn't freak him out?

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  No, no, no, I totally pulled it out.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  I think I calmed him down.

• 1:05:52Speaker 02

  No, I'm pretty, I'm pretty good at that stuff. I met celebrities, I'm pretty good at like, meeting. I lived in LA-

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  Who's the biggest celebrity you ever met?

• 1:05:59Speaker 02

  Uh, Dave Chappelle.

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  That's pretty big.

• 1:06:00Speaker 02

  I met Dave Chappelle.

• 1:06:01H. Foley?

  He just walked up to him and said, "I know who you are."

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  "What are you doing here, Klein?" And he was like, "Do I know you?" And I was like, "No, I'm just fucking with you, man."

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:06:08Speaker 02

  Uh, I met him at my Whole Foods lot-

• 1:06:10H. Foley?

  You like guns?

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  Jonathan Sylvia, "You like guns? I got two of them tattooed on my hips, check that out, pretty badass, huh?" "No, it's not." "Oh, you hate it? Alright, I'll put them away."

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  Pick your shirt back up.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm wack as shit, yeah, no problem. I was a poet when I was 19.

• 1:06:20H. Foley?

  Oh, the security guys are with you? Okay, cool, take care.

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  Okay. So then we go up, so that basically, it's like a thing from the hotel, they send you up there. We get up there, now this is great. Table, they're serving you dinner, there's like 12 people, 12 couples from the hotel. We're drinking wine.

• 1:06:35H. Foley?

  But you don't know them.

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  Don't know any of them, we're all from the hotel. Now, we're sitting there, Klein's at the other end of the table. They bring out this book, this like, book of celebrities, right? And they're like, "Justin, the Tim..." And this guy's like, Italians in Italy are like, "The Mario Brothers." Like, you think it's not gonna be like that?

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  It's over the top, Italians.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  It is, it's like, "Hey, they..." Best wine in all of Italy.

• 1:06:54Speaker 01

  Not talking like that.

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I'm like, is this a fucking joke? Is he fucking with me? Danny A. Ero wants to sit right here. Right, where do you sit? And I'm like, wow, he's like, so Justin Timberlake, have my wine. And I'm like, and then he's like, and Chris Somers from the San Jose Sharks. So I'm like, oh, the fucking celebrity list really went downhill fast.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  Back up, Quaterback.

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  You know his name, Ryan Leaf. So like, I'm like, so now I'm like, picture, now I'm getting to the gist that they like celebrities. So I call the daughter of him, like, hey, that guy over there is Chris Klein from American Pie. She's like, she like perks up, runs into the kitchen, grabs the book out, and they change all their focus to now Chris Klein's there. They're taking pictures of him, and he looks at me, because I told him, and I was like, yeah, gotcha, son of a... Rochefort, yeah, gotcha, now they know you're a celebrity, American Pie, baby, that's what you got for ruining my childhood.

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  Did you make me fuck a pie?

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  Embarrassed me in front of the whole school.

• 1:07:51H. Foley?

  I knew there had to be a dark angle in that somewhere.

• 1:07:55Speaker 01

  All right, we gotta wrap it up, though.

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah, what the fuck?

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  Oh, well.

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  Well, fuck it. You're still trash. Yeah.

• 1:08:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, and we will continue our examination of Mr. Rochefort.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  Very soon.

• 1:08:09Speaker 01

  At a later date.

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  What do you got for the kids out there?

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  Plug away.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  The problem, come see me, please, subscribe, like, come see me live, shamanicshouse.com for all your antique wares, antique rugs, antique candles, antique incense, papers, things that millionaires have that I grind out of their hands. They say, oh, my God, these are my old things, and I say, just give it to me for a lower price. I sell wholesale to the public. Listen, I try to get you the things that millionaires have, and then come see me live on tour, shamanicshouse.com, backslash scuff realtor. We got tours, I'm leaving right now, I'm going to Milwaukee, Detroit, Chicago, Birmingham, Alabama, Tampa, Atlanta, fucking New Jersey, Comedy Dojo, fucking Philly, Baltimore, I don't know, just come see me, go figure out, please get tickets, it's a fun show. Go see Nick, gang, he's the best.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  Kippee, what do you got for them?

• 1:08:53Speaker 01

  Uh, we're starting tour as well, all tickets on sale at arugarbage.com. I think we added a fifth show in Tampa, uh, Austin, four shows almost sold out, get them tickets before they're gone.

• 1:09:03Speaker 02

  Nick, we love you, buddy.

• 1:09:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, love you, buddy.

• 1:09:05H. Foley?

  You're the best.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  Gang, we love you, we'll see you next week. Peace.