Rick Glassman Returns!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian and podcast host Rick Glassman! We're talking Magic: The Gathering, First Dates, and Pawn Stars. You know Rick Glassman from stand up comedy, Take Your Shoes Off podcast, TigerBelly, Bad Friends, Whiskey Ginger, Kill Tony, We Might Be Drunk, Good for You w/ Whitney Cummings, First Date, Soul Boom and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www. BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Blue Chew: Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code GARBAGE -- just pay $5 shipping. Liquid IV: Get 20% off your first order of Liquid I. V. when you go to https://www. LIQUIDIV. COM and use code GARBAGE at checkout. True Classic: Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Again, we want to thank everybody for all the love and support on the Route 66 special. It is out now. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, and the Back on the Block Tour starts this week. Tickets still available for Pontiac, Michigan, March 8th. March 11th, Milwaukee Improv. And then March 14th, Minneapolis, Minnesota at the Fillmore. Get your tickets on barbecuebarbers.com. We'll see you there.

• 0:20Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:40H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:46H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:51H. Foley?

  They're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:53H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition. She just got back from the Eagles Parade.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:01H. Foley?

  Which, as you know, was several weeks ago.

• 1:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:04H. Foley?

  She just walked in the door.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:06H. Foley?

  On her way to spring training, baby. Little sports nut.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought she got a, I thought she got a position.

• 1:13H. Foley?

  My coach is coming at you right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. And also, full video available now on Spotify. We got a little thing over there. You can wet your beak over there. Go watch on Spotify. Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. And the Route 66 special. Go check that out, gang, now, live on the YouTube.

• 1:42H. Foley?

  Yes, please. And, gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly, special guest back with us again today. One of our absolute favorites. You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast, Take Your Shoes Off. Give it up for the LA kid, Rick Glassman, everybody. There he is. Look at him. He's got his boy with him running around. Little Alvin.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:02H. Foley?

  Alvin.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  Good kid, good dog.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  There he goes.

• 2:06H. Foley?

  There he is.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  I thought he was gonna get on the ta- jump up on-

• 2:08H. Foley?

  Look at him!

• 2:09Speaker 01

  What's up, Budzo?

• 2:10H. Foley?

  Aw, man, I could eat your belly. I'll tell you that right now. You got a little face-

• 2:13Speaker 01

  The LA kid?

• 2:14H. Foley?

  The LA guy?

• 2:15Speaker 01

  La La Land!

• 2:16H. Foley?

  What are you talking about? Hollywood!

• 2:17Speaker 01

  I think Hollywood. I think Rick Glassman.

• 2:20H. Foley?

  You've been to a couple award shows, right?

• 2:23Speaker 03

  I mean, I was invited. I showed up. They gave me something to wear. What am I gonna do?

• 2:28H. Foley?

  You no stranger to a red carpet? You've walked a red carpet?

• 2:31Speaker 03

  I've walked a red carpet, yeah.

• 2:32H. Foley?

  Sure?

• 2:33Speaker 03

  It's so hot in here.

• 2:34H. Foley?

  No, it's not. I'm 500 pounds.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Listen, he's the barometer. If it's even- if it ain't- can't be that hot. I mean, you also- you got a sweatshirt on.

• 2:43H. Foley?

  You got your goofy sweatshirt on. Were you at Disneyland last week?

• 2:47Speaker 01

  Fucking Disney adult over here. Oh, welcome to the Thunderdome, Glassman.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  I mean, I only see one guy who's goofy.

• 2:56H. Foley?

  Can we get a little pair of headphones for Alvin, for god's sake? Goddamn broadcaster over here.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  He can be associate producer.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Oh, you're a little boy.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Hey, Budzo.

• 3:04H. Foley?

  Buddy, thank you for coming back. Here's a news flash for everybody. If you haven't checked out Rick's episode, go back, do yourself a favor, check it out. One of the few-

• 3:13Speaker 01

  This guy's bonkers.

• 3:13H. Foley?

  That somehow, through some miracle, came up classy.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:19H. Foley?

  Can you believe that?

• 3:20Speaker 01

  I can't. We had to have our research team go back and listen to the episode, and they said the verdict was classy, which I was astonished.

• 3:27H. Foley?

  Came up classy. So, we're gonna rerun you through the Tesla, but somebody knew a question, 'cause it's been a while. See if we can get ya. Alright?

• 3:35Speaker 03

  I didn't realize that there was a-

• 3:37H. Foley?

  Bring in the dog, strike one.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  I didn't realize there was-

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Put him on a dining room table?

• 3:42H. Foley?

  Strike two.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  Dining room table?

• 3:45Speaker 01

  I weren't in a dish-

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Strike one. Um, do you guys watch the show Beat Bobby Foley?

• 3:50Speaker 01

  I've seen it.

• 3:51H. Foley?

  Yes, of course.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  The judges that come on, they really wanna beat Bobby Foley.

• 3:55H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  And it's like, I guess. I mean, it's a cook- I don't see- sure. But it seems like you guys, I didn't realize, have an intention. We want to make sure we find them garbage.

• 4:04H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 4:04Speaker 03

  I didn't realize that you guys had a bias like that.

• 4:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, we want to, we want to, we want to get to it, because our theory, our hypothesis for the show, is that everybody is really garbage. No matter how you grew up, no matter what you do.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  Well, your theory has already been proven.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Alvin, please, I'm trying to, I'm trying to do a show here, Alvin.

• 4:20H. Foley?

  Come here, my love. Them LA dog making moves.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  This dog's all over, man. I feel like I'm at a Diddy party.

• 4:25H. Foley?

  He's got a little can of baby oil on his hand.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Glassman knows about those. All right, moving.

• 4:29H. Foley?

  L.A. kid.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Isn't that more of a New York thing, though, than an L.A. thing?

• 4:33Speaker 01

  I think he's Jersey, you know?

• 4:34H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 4:36H. Foley?

  That's all in L.A. You weren't doing that shit in Soho.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Uh, all right, I mean...

• 4:42H. Foley?

  Let's get into it.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Let's see, let's see what we can find. Because you are, you know, you are a man of a pretty good culture, character, you're thoughtful. Typically, the garbage comes from...

• 4:54H. Foley?

  Meticulous, some would say.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, the garbage, the garbage comes from not being thoughtful. It's like, tends to be laziness sometimes, which you are not that kind of guy, which I think it's tough to find the dirt under the fingernails.

• 5:05H. Foley?

  Legendary basketball career, good athlete, good-looking guy, well-dressed, well-put-together.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Stop talking about me.

• 5:12H. Foley?

  Flashy, making the scene.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 5:15H. Foley?

  Out there.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  You got, this is the nicest podcast I go on.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Wait until the second half. It's called, it was called Ropa Dope.

• 5:24H. Foley?

  Good teeth. Did you ever have braces? You ought to have braces.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  No, but I have recently been talking, oh, I have recently been talking to, um, a dentist about needing, he wants me to get, fix my bottom teeth, because as we get older, I'm almost 30. So as we get older, they get a little bit worse, and he thinks for the health of the bottom. So with moving the bottom, I might have to move the top, and I don't want to move the top.

• 5:48H. Foley?

  Now, they're just suckerin' you in. Haven't, listen, they're white, they're good, that ain't gonna happen.

• 5:53Speaker 03

  How did you know my dentist?

• 5:54H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 5:56Speaker 01

  Dr. Lee Bulwitz.

• 5:58H. Foley?

  They're white, they're good, that's all, they're just trying to make a couple of bucks.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  There's a lot of black dentists that I think are good.

• 6:02H. Foley?

  You gotta have, you gotta have a little character down here. That's the way I look at it.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  I like my character.

• 6:07H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:08Speaker 03

  But they were saying for health reasons.

• 6:10Speaker 01

  What's health, like?

• 6:10H. Foley?

  That's the, come on.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  It's gonna get hard to clean between the teeth.

• 6:13H. Foley?

  Ah, that's all bullshit. They're trying to sucker you in for a cleaning.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  That's like, that's like undercoating on a car.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  It was so funny the tooth fell out of yours when you said that. Just a way to lose credibility.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Do not, do not take dental advice from both of us.

• 6:26H. Foley?

  You ever see, you ever see actors in like the eighties or the nineties?

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Uh-uh.

• 6:29H. Foley?

  God damn.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  No.

• 6:30H. Foley?

  And even the chicks, it's like, Jesus Christ.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  It's like the UK.

• 6:33H. Foley?

  Woo!

• 6:34Speaker 01

  Rough.

• 6:34Speaker 04

  Hello?

• 6:35Speaker 01

  And that?

• 6:36H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's bad news.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Uh, okay, alright, I got a couple, uh, let's just kinda get, one thing we do, uh, that has developed in the show since you've been here is notable alumni on Wikipedia for your high school. What was the high school you went to?

• 6:49Speaker 03

  Orange.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Orange, you glad I didn't say junior high?

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Glassman, I'm looking forward to the back half of this thing.

• 6:57H. Foley?

  Orange High School in Ohio?

• 6:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:00H. Foley?

  That's it?

• 7:01Speaker 03

  I'm confused, did you, are you looking up the notable alumni?

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Of Orange High School?

• 7:05H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Not before I got here?

• 7:06H. Foley?

  No.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  No, we do it on the spot. How was I gonna, how was I, how did I know what high school you went to?

• 7:11H. Foley?

  We're not creeps.

• 7:12Speaker 03

  I mean, I was with you guys yesterday, you could've asked me.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  I've never seen this guy in my life.

• 7:17Speaker 03

  You just talked about it. Uh, yeah, Orange High School.

• 7:21H. Foley?

  Just that's it, Orange High School?

• 7:22Speaker 01

  That sounds so made up.

• 7:24H. Foley?

  You had to go to like Orange Peppatory School or private school or something like that.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  I did go to Pep.

• 7:29H. Foley?

  Pep?

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:30H. Foley?

  You, what do you mean?

• 7:31Speaker 03

  I feel like I talked about this on the first episode.

• 7:33H. Foley?

  I, yeah, you did a little bit, I can't remember.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Pep, Pep is a, is a special school I had to go to for a year.

• 7:38H. Foley?

  Ah, yeah, that's right.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  It's called Positive Education Program for the troubled boys.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  For the troubled boys.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Glassman, he's a handful. Alright, so did you find Orange High School?

• 7:47Speaker 04

  I found Orange High School.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  It's so weird that it's not like Orange County or Orange, just Orange High School.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Not that weird.

• 7:53H. Foley?

  What was the mascot?

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Very weird.

• 7:55Speaker 03

  The orange.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  It was an orange, a lion, it was a lion.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 8:00H. Foley?

  The orange.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  A notable alum, what do we got?

• 8:02Speaker 04

  We got George Stephanopoulos.

• 8:04H. Foley?

  Whoa!

• 8:05Speaker 04

  Pretty good.

• 8:06H. Foley?

  There's a big wig over there at ABC.

• 8:08Speaker 04

  Vanessa Bayer.

• 8:09H. Foley?

  Whoa! SNL alum!

• 8:11Speaker 04

  And Rick Glassman!

• 8:15H. Foley?

  Look at him!

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Did it say me on whatever you're looking at, really, or you're saying that?

• 8:18Speaker 04

  No, I'm, you're on there.

• 8:20Speaker 03

  What is it?

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Notable alumni on your, on your, on your Orange High School's Wikipedia page.

• 8:25Speaker 03

  Oh, it's on the Wikipedia page?

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Yes, sir.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  There's only three people on it?

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  And I'm one of them?

• 8:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:30H. Foley?

  Look at that. It's pretty good. Go to the high school, look at the gym for your banner? We don't have that kind of resources.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  Somebody retire his jersey stat. Alright, that's pretty good. Pretty good. Huh.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 8:43H. Foley?

  Look at that, see?

• 8:44Speaker 01

  See why we do it on the show? See, my first time broadcasting, Rick.

• 8:47H. Foley?

  Look at that.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  What is the percentage of people when you look up notable alumni that they are on the list?

• 8:51H. Foley?

  They got, you gotta be hitting a little hard. You gotta be, you gotta be making some moves.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  Put it this way, we're not on our notable list.

• 8:58H. Foley?

  I'm a goddamn fucking all-state wrestler, I'm not on there. You believe that shit?

• 9:02Speaker 03

  Uh, have you tried switching to State Farm? Maybe they'll give you a little recognition. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  State Farm.

• 9:07H. Foley?

  I'm a guy, though, man.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Uh, okay, um... I'm gonna, I gotta-

• 9:14H. Foley?

  Alvin, what are you doing? It's a goddamn family show. You're over there treating yourself like it's fucking Bourbon Street.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  Frank Astanza. Start throwing beads at him.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  You, a lot of times you set, you do something, you do some type of an analogy joke. And you set it up, and I, I, I, and I often wonder like, is he gonna find it? And I think you've landed it every single time.

• 9:34H. Foley?

  Thank you, buddy.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Do you know Bourbon Street before you start talking about links?

• 9:38H. Foley?

  That's a Frank Astanza, I believe.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Okay, but a lot of times you ever say something, oh, you're licking your paws like, and you just trust you, you're gonna find it? Because you see the licking thing first, you know the structure, and you start. But then, I, I haven't seen you miss.

• 9:51H. Foley?

  I miss every once in a while.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Oh, he's, that, that, I, he's, I've never seen him throw a perfect game, let's put it that way.

• 9:57H. Foley?

  I had a couple of stinkers.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  He got close to a perfect game one time, he was on acid, but that's, you know.

• 10:04H. Foley?

  Nice headphones, they're- Got it! See?

• 10:07Speaker 01

  That's just Panasonic's. Um-

• 10:10Speaker 03

  Get my skull, remember that?

• 10:12H. Foley?

  Yeah, get my skull.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 10:15H. Foley?

  Classic Foley.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  And we're back in five, four, three.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  Reset it.

• 10:20H. Foley?

  Here we go.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  Uh-

• 10:21H. Foley?

  Notable alumni.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 10:23H. Foley?

  What was the college, just to refresh my memory?

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Kent State.

• 10:26H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 10:27Speaker 01

  See if we can get notable alum on Kent State, let's see how high this, this Glassman goes.

• 10:30H. Foley?

  There's a lot of action over there.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna be on that list.

• 10:33H. Foley?

  You know, but probably might be on that is, uh, former guest, Mr. Julian Edelman. He's Kent State grad, I believe.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  Joshua Cribs?

• 10:40H. Foley?

  Who's that?

• 10:42H. Foley?

  He's a guy that got shot?

• 10:43Speaker 01

  He invented Cribs, the TV show.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  He invented Cribs, the TV show?

• 10:47H. Foley?

  Were you a theater major over there?

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Minor.

• 10:50H. Foley?

  Minor?

• 10:50Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, for the first three years. I graduated early.

• 10:53H. Foley?

  Hello. What was your major? Political science. Marketing. Pretty good. Pretty good.

• 11:01Speaker 03

  I though, I didn't finish my minor degree in theater because I was two classes away. It was, um, uh, costume and lighting. And I would have had to stay another semester.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Buddy, I'm working in front of the curtain, alright?

• 11:14H. Foley?

  You want to stay another semester or you want to get to hell out of there?

• 11:16Speaker 03

  I already, it took me four and a half years because I, I re- retook some of my classes for my first semester.

• 11:21H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  For a thing called freshman forgiveness so I could bring my GPA up because I thought I was gonna go to law school.

• 11:25H. Foley?

  Ah.

• 11:26Speaker 03

  And I did four and a half years. I'm like, I don't need to get a minor in theater.

• 11:31H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  With these two classes. So I graduated a little early.

• 11:33H. Foley?

  You're in court wearing all kinds of weird outfits.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, and the lighting was terrible.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Not, not on Kent State.

• 11:40H. Foley?

  Is Edelman on there?

• 11:41Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 11:42Speaker 03

  Antonio Gates?

• 11:44H. Foley?

  Antonio Gates?

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Julian's there.

• 11:46H. Foley?

  Yeah, Julian. He got like nine Super Bowls.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:50H. Foley?

  Go look at kid, dog. Go look.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  Oh, I was thinking of what's his name?

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Antonio Gates?

• 11:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  He's there.

• 11:55H. Foley?

  Was anybody there famous when you went there? How was the squad that year?

• 12:00Speaker 03

  Uh, good.

• 12:01H. Foley?

  Their basketball team's not that great.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  They were good. They were, they were Elite Eight when I was there.

• 12:06H. Foley?

  No shit?

• 12:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, and Joshua Cribs, not Joshua Cribs, um, Antonio Gates, who is, uh, you know, was a, played for the Chargers.

• 12:14H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Um, uh, did, he, he was a basketball player, not a football player, uh, in college.

• 12:20H. Foley?

  Right.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  And, uh, then he went to the, he went from being a great basketball player in college to then, in the NFL.

• 12:26H. Foley?

  Isn't that crazy, man?

• 12:27Speaker 01

  It's wild how they can do that.

• 12:28H. Foley?

  Athletic ability I do not have.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  You both almost died coming up the stairs today, so...

• 12:33H. Foley?

  We'll have more of that at 11.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 12:37H. Foley?

  What was the first concert you went to? I don't think we had that question when you were here last.

• 12:44H. Foley?

  First music concert.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  It was either George Thoroughgood.

• 12:49H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  Or Metallica.

• 12:51H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 12:52Speaker 03

  Or the Up and Smoke Tour. All of those were high school and I don't know which was first.

• 12:56H. Foley?

  Who's Up and Smoke?

• 12:57Speaker 01

  That's a good tour.

• 12:58Speaker 03

  Uh, Dre, Eminem.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  It was the whole aftermath. It was everybody.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, it was after all of my classes, but I did it. It was an evening show. Um, but yeah, those were the first three concerts and I don't know which was first.

• 13:11H. Foley?

  Now, would you go, your mom, like you were a young kid, your mom would drop you off?

• 13:16Speaker 03

  George Thoroughgood, my, uh, my brother took me because I'm-

• 13:18H. Foley?

  I was gonna say, how do you get into George Thoroughgood?

• 13:20Speaker 03

  Because I love, I, I, like many people our age, you guys are 28?

• 13:26Speaker 01

  No.

• 13:27Speaker 03

  I-

• 13:27H. Foley?

  Forty-nine.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Uh, I was a big, am a big Schwarzenegger fan and a big Terminator 2 fan and ba-ba-ba-bad, the bone. I used to love that song.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  So my brother assumed I would love George Thoroughgood and he wasn't lying.

• 13:40Speaker 03

  So he, my brother took me to that one. Um, uh, Metallica, I went with some friends.

• 13:47H. Foley?

  Would that be the Ride the Lightning Tour?

• 13:49Speaker 03

  I don't remember the name of the tour.

• 13:50H. Foley?

  You'd be too young for that.

• 13:51Speaker 01

  I'm 28.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  I mean, I had a-

• 13:52Speaker 01

  It had to be like Reload or something.

• 13:55Speaker 03

  I, I, I just wanted to have a good time with my friends and nothing else matters, you know?

• 13:58H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  This guy's good. This guy is good.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  He doesn't get, doesn't get the puns. He doesn't get the words.

• 14:07H. Foley?

  I'm not good with the puns.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Um, hmm, let's see. Do you know who, who Chum Lee is?

• 14:15Speaker 03

  That's that Asian guy who does a lot of fishing videos.

• 14:19H. Foley?

  Wait, who's Chum Lee?

• 14:20Speaker 01

  You don't know who Chum Lee is?

• 14:21H. Foley?

  Hold on.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  Take his fucking microphone. What am I doing with these, with these bozos surrounding me?

• 14:26H. Foley?

  Chum Lee, not the guy that sings Gangnam Style, is it? Cause that guy moved some goddamn tickets.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  Man, is that the guy that comes up from underneath the stage? That gets, that gets me rock hard.

• 14:36H. Foley?

  Little pork chop.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  The second we can afford to do that in a live show, I don't care if that's the, all the money, we're doing it.

• 14:42H. Foley?

  Oh, I know who Chum, you said it like he was Asian.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  No, I didn't.

• 14:45H. Foley?

  Fucking, uh-

• 14:46Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't see, I don't look at the guy's color.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  You don't see color?

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Uh-uh.

• 14:50H. Foley?

  You know who Chum Lee is.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  It's the Asian guy who does all the fishing videos. Did you get to the first one?

• 14:55Speaker 01

  I got you. He's making a slick out there in the water.

• 14:58H. Foley?

  He's the guy from fucking Pawn Stars.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  Have you ever seen Pawn Stars?

• 15:03Speaker 03

  It's on. I watch for a second. Sometimes I see clips when someone is trying to sell a comic book or a magic card.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:09H. Foley?

  Yeah. It's pretty good.

• 15:10Speaker 03

  Or a Pokemon card.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  Do you know what the Time Bandit is?

• 15:14Speaker 03

  I mean, unfortunately, we're all beholden to him.

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Uh, no.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:19H. Foley?

  Who's the Time Bandit? Oh!

• 15:21Speaker 03

  Are you asking?

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Why are you gonna do this to me in public?

• 15:25H. Foley?

  What are you, fucking, what are you, on A and E's website or something like that?

• 15:27Speaker 01

  I'm trying to see what he kno- I'm- ninety-nine percent of the listeners know what fucking Chum Lee and the Time Bandit is.

• 15:33H. Foley?

  Have you ever met Mike Rowe?

• 15:36Speaker 01

  Is your job dirty? Huh?

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Loved that show.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Uh, he taught- he was the one who offered, uh, taught me the perspective that like-

• 15:45Speaker 01

  I've never thought Chum Lee would be an Asian guy. That's not- that's so not-

• 15:50H. Foley?

  The way you said it! Do you know Chum Lee?

• 15:52Speaker 01

  What? Wait, I didn't hit a gong when I said it.

• 15:54H. Foley?

  I thought it was a Kung-Fu star.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Okay. Just very funny to assume he's Asian.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Every- all these jobs are necessary. And, um, uh, to be proud of, of doing some of these dirty jobs.

• 16:07H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  Like what you guys are doing.

• 16:09H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  I mean, how many- how much time do you put in to make all these Patreon videos? It's fucking filthy, what you do.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's really gotta roll up his sleeves and get in there.

• 16:18H. Foley?

  Get Mike Rowe in here. Let him see my lunch order.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Find out the best way to eat a hot dog.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  You guys are so funny.

• 16:25H. Foley?

  The show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:27H. Foley?

  Gang, as somebody who is taking the talk therapy journey, I can strongly recommend BetterHelp. If you got something going on, whether it's big, whether it's small, whether it's something from your childhood that you have unresolved, or, you know, work stuff or whatever, talk to BetterHelp, man. They can really help you out. You could do it from the privacy of your own home. And in your town, they might not have certain specialists that you need, that you can find on BetterHelp. We're talking about talking to a licensed therapist. Do yourself a favor. Make your life easier and the lives of the people around you that you love.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  And let's talk turkey. Traditional in-person therapy can cost anywhere from a hundred to two-hundred-and-fifty dollars per session. That's a lot of cash. That adds up quick, but with BetterHelp online therapy, you can save on average up- Up to 50% per session.

• 17:12H. Foley?

  Look at that.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  With BetterHelp, you pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you big on cost and on time. Therapy should feel accessible, not like a luxury. It should be available to everybody.

• 17:22H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  With online therapy, you'll get quality care at a price that makes sense and can help you from everything, from anxiety to everyday stressors. Your well-being is worth a lot. Visit betterhelp.com/garbage. You get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com/garbage. Do it.

• 17:37H. Foley?

  Kent, let's talk about BlueChew.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  I'm hard right now, gang.

• 17:40H. Foley?

  Woo, no, you're not. That's why you need BlueChew.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  I'm hard, you just can't see it.

• 17:44H. Foley?

  Yeah, right. You're a limp noodle, and I'm one too. And we know we got a few of you out there. Listen, you get a little bit older, you put on a couple of pounds, you need a little goddamn help. And here's the turkey talking about the new BlueChew Max.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  Hotchey munchy.

• 17:59H. Foley?

  Active ingredients of Viagra and Cialis into one chewable tablet. Combo that acts fast and last.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Unlike you, how you doing?

• 18:08H. Foley?

  Knock the bottom out of something.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Something you can swing from.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  Guys, be ready when she... I'm getting a little hot and bothered under here thinking about "hold-ons." Be ready when she's ready and get your first month of BlueChew for free, baby.

• 18:23H. Foley?

  After dinner.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  And BlueChew tablets are made in the good old USA. I'm talking homegrown bones, baby. You can give that to Kippy's stamp of approval. It's prepared and shipped directly to your door. The best part, it's all done online. That means no awkward visits where the doctor's like, "Anything else?" You're like, "I don't know." You go right to the doctor, bada bing bada boom. No awkward conversations, no waiting in line at the pharmacy. Shipped right to your door. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at BlueChew.com. We got a special deal for AYG listeners. Try your first month of BlueChew for free when you use the promo code GARBAGE. Just pay $5 for the shipping. It's got covered shipping.

• 18:56H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  That's promo code GARBAGE. Visit BlueChew.com for more details, important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast.

• 19:02H. Foley?

  Yes, we do.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  Do you remember any of your AOL screen names or your instant message or early email addresses?

• 19:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm not going to tell you.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Why?

• 19:11Speaker 03

  It's not because I'm embarrassed, it's because...

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Sounds like you're embarrassed.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  That's what a guy who would be embarrassed say.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  No, I use them as aliases still for certain things.

• 19:22H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  So.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm Spitfire542, what of it?

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Um.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  I'm Bballjams111.

• 19:29H. Foley?

  As a, as a, as a 29-year-old man.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  They're video game related.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Gotcha. Fair enough. Say no more.

• 19:34H. Foley?

  As a 29-year-old man, what was your first cellular phone?

• 19:39Speaker 03

  I don't.

• 19:39H. Foley?

  Sidekick?

• 19:40Speaker 01

  And provider?

• 19:41Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 19:44H. Foley?

  Next up.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  I could, I could picture the phone, but I don't know.

• 19:47H. Foley?

  Razr?

• 19:48Speaker 03

  Razr was, was, wasn't my first, but that was the first one that I was like.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  You're flexing.

• 19:54H. Foley?

  You're doing it.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  One sec. You know, open it like that. On, on the bus, just basketball, basketball games, just doing this.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  The no-look flip?

• 20:02Speaker 03

  I had a pager, um, during 9/11.

• 20:06H. Foley?

  Just that day?

• 20:07Speaker 03

  Uh, well, after that, I'm like.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  That's kinda weird.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  And it was one of those pagers that, uh, you got, you got a line of some news. And I went to school late and the first tower was.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  I mean, hold on, you had to be how old? You're 28 now.

• 20:21H. Foley?

  Yeah, a little businessman.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, you had to be like 11 or younger than that.

• 20:25H. Foley?

  He's cutting deals or selling rock.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't think he's 28.

• 20:29H. Foley?

  I think he is.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  He's not 28, dude.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  Have you seen my teeth?

• 20:33H. Foley?

  He's not 35.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  See if you can, see if we can get, see if Google will.

• 20:38Speaker 04

  I already Googled.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  How, how old is he?

• 20:40Speaker 03

  How old am I?

• 20:40H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on, let me guess.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  He's not 28.

• 20:41H. Foley?

  Let me guess.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  This is a multiple day.

• 20:43H. Foley?

  Man, you are Hollywood. What, you're going lower?

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Doesn't it say I'm 28?

• 20:46H. Foley?

  A lady never tells.

• 20:47Speaker 04

  I'm not 32.

• 20:49H. Foley?

  32, aren't that make sense?

• 20:51Speaker 03

  You know what's interesting about what you just did?

• 20:53Speaker 04

  We're doing a bit.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  How old is he?

• 20:54Speaker 03

  You know, you know what's interesting?

• 20:55Speaker 01

  Yes, fuck old.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  You know what's interesting, what you're doing right now? You're not playing with me, you're being afraid of your bosses, which shows me how garbage day actually are. I'm 40 today.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  He's 40.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  Today.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  Today.

• 21:08H. Foley?

  You are?

• 21:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:09H. Foley?

  You're 40?

• 21:10Speaker 01

  And tomorrow and yesterday.

• 21:12H. Foley?

  No, you're not.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  I'm looking right here. Nineteen, he's older than me. There's no way, there's no way he's 28 and had a pager at 9/11. He would've had to been fucking three years old.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  I mean, I would've been born in 97. I would've, yeah, three or four.

• 21:25H. Foley?

  Kid's got meals.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  Uh, cause I had a pager in like 5th grade and, you know, yeah, no, okay.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  But anyway, um, uh, on the pager, they, uh, we were getting the news. I, I got there late. The first tower art was, you know, they didn't know there was any malfeasance.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  Uh, maybe there was malfeasance, no foul play. And, uh,

• 21:45Speaker 01

  $10 word.

• 21:46Speaker 03

  And then we got the, uh, I, I remember on the thing that was getting like, the second tower hit. And it was on the pager, like, that's where we got our news. And then I called my dad. And then I just remember everyone just, like, did their own thing and like they left school.

• 22:01H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:02Speaker 03

  And now here we are in the greatest city in the world.

• 22:05H. Foley?

  That's right, baby.

• 22:06Speaker 03

  New York City.

• 22:07H. Foley?

  I knew something was up as soon as it hit.

• 22:09Speaker 03

  With the greatest fire, what did you know that was it?

• 22:12H. Foley?

  Uh, something was going on. I didn't like it.

• 22:14Speaker 03

  There's a lot of praise going on for the LA firefighters right now.

• 22:16H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  Do you think some of the New York firefighters are feeling a little like, oh, you know, they're forgetting about us?

• 22:22H. Foley?

  I don't know. Those, those fire, listen, I worked in, uh, a bar on the Upper East Side during 9/11.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  Quit bragging.

• 22:28H. Foley?

  Those guys.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Sold weed out of the back and worked. That is a...

• 22:32H. Foley?

  Those guys were killing it for a few months with the ladies.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  They still do alright, man. You're down in the village. They walk, dude, if you're down in the village and a group of them walk out and they're like dressed bluser, they walk into the bar, it's over.

• 22:46H. Foley?

  It's over.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Do you think that they would have as much respect from the generation that currently does respect them and wants to have sex with them or blow them or eat their butts or whatever?

• 22:55H. Foley?

  Yeah, of course.

• 22:56Speaker 03

  If it weren't for 9/11?

• 22:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  Good.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  Because they do a lot. They've done, they do a lot, but they've done a lot before and they've done a lot since.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  Goddamn heroes.

• 23:04H. Foley?

  That was a big one though. That, that really put them over the top.

• 23:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:08H. Foley?

  I remember them catching hummers in the bar.

• 23:10Speaker 03

  What do you mean? You saw them getting blown?

• 23:12Speaker 01

  Oh, he was blowing them, so it was tough to not see when there's a wiener in your mouth. But it is a family program.

• 23:18H. Foley?

  I got the firefighter helmet on.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  He got the suspenders. Alright.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  You do some fun stuff with your tongue when you laugh.

• 23:25H. Foley?

  I know.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  That thing's got a mind of its own.

• 23:27H. Foley?

  I take a lot of heat for it too. It's involuntary. Just a big fat pig.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  I, I haven't met voluntary, but I do think that, uh, you know, sometimes you do a play on words and you think, it's a pitch. I don't need to make, make the joke. Alright, go ahead. Who's Ching Lung?

• 23:43H. Foley?

  Are you a cologne guy at all? We know you're very meticulous about your hygiene. All that, no boots in the shower.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  Like when you said hygiene, you didn't have boots in the shower. When did boots in the shower come? Have you ever said boots in the shower before?

• 24:00Speaker 01

  I think he meant feet in the shower.

• 24:02H. Foley?

  No, I meant wearing boots in the shower.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Oh, because yesterday I had the security guard. I thought you were just saying, you're so fucking filthy that you wear boots in the shower.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  Is what I say when I'm getting a throat culture. I used to sell cologne and perfume. At the mall, because my mom did, but no.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  Family business.

• 24:20Speaker 03

  I don't like it. In fact, I think it's poison. I'm super sensitive to it. I've been with, um, I mean, it's a humble brag. I've been with women who wear perfume. And sometimes I'll have to ask them as a comp- listen, I don't want to tell you what you can and can't do.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  But you smell like a hooah.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  I'm a little sensitive.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Honey, go take a shower, alright?

• 24:39Speaker 03

  If you're gonna wear it, could you at least, instead of spraying it on you, could you just walk through it? I don't like it.

• 24:44H. Foley?

  What you want, you're supposed to do. You're supposed to do a little here, rub your together.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  I don't even believe this.

• 24:49H. Foley?

  Do a little on the neck.

• 24:49Speaker 03

  Just walk through it, or spray it and wipe your shirt through it. Give a hint.

• 24:53H. Foley?

  That's a Sebastian. You do five spritzes and walk through it.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  I think famously Rosie O'Donnell used to do forty spritzes. See if you can five. She would do four. She would do like five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five. It was like, it was a wild combination.

• 25:06H. Foley?

  I like to have a little on my, on my neck here, so when I do the hug, people know that I smell good. Especially with the no heaters.

• 25:12Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 25:12Speaker 03

  With the no heaters.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  We're off to Siggs.

• 25:14H. Foley?

  No Siggs.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  Oh, I thought, got it. I thought you stopped playing baseball or something.

• 25:18H. Foley?

  You ever smell a fat guy in the winter after he just had a heater and walked into a bar?

• 25:22Speaker 03

  Eleanor Roosevelt, right?

• 25:26H. Foley?

  I think it was Chamberlain.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Will.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  Chamberlain Lee?

• 25:29H. Foley?

  Can I say this? The fact that you're, I don't know if you told this the last time you were here, but the fact that your mom worked at the perfume counter at Macy's.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, he did mention, yeah.

• 25:36H. Foley?

  Makes me love her. Because my Aunt Jill did that, and man, the atmosphere in there, especially around the holidays. Oh, just smells great in there. They were all classy broads. They had jewelry. They had the makeup. I loved it, man. There's nothing like an old school perfume counter at like a Bloomingdale's or a Macy's. Really nice.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  We have Rosie.

• 26:00Speaker 04

  Old wives tale, it seems, but there's a lot of rumblings on the internet.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  I saw the show. I used to be, all right, let's pull the, let's break the fourth wall. I used to be a big fan of the Rosie O'Donnell program, came on 10 o'clock, I believe. I believe on ABC. Big, huge fan, and I saw it with my own eyes, because I remember going, that's a lot of perfume.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  You saw her spray it, or you heard her talk about it?

• 26:18Speaker 01

  She did it on the show. Forty spritzes.

• 26:21Speaker 04

  You're in the Reddit.

• 26:22Speaker 03

  You're part of the rumblings.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  What's my screen name?

• 26:26Speaker 01

  I got one-

• 26:27Speaker 03

  Rosie O'Donnell XX, is that?

• 26:29Speaker 01

  I was Spitfire542 for a very long time.

• 26:33H. Foley?

  Strikeout119.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  Lady lovers. 69420.

• 26:40H. Foley?

  Did you ever close off of that? In college?

• 26:43Speaker 01

  It wasn't col- oh, college, it was probably something different. It was probably like-

• 26:47H. Foley?

  Please, please, please?

• 26:49Speaker 03

  Wait, close off of what, his screen name?

• 26:51H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  You would do Instant Messenger?

• 26:52H. Foley?

  I thought all you kids did Instant Messenger in college. Hey, what are you doing? We just got back from the party.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  I asked my, um, my now ex to prom on, uh, Instant Messenger.

• 27:01H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 27:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:02H. Foley?

  You didn't do it straight up?

• 27:04Speaker 03

  No, I, we were dating for six months before I even kissed her.

• 27:08H. Foley?

  When you had high school.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  Did she know that?

• 27:11H. Foley?

  Stalking, either way.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, she knew that.

• 27:13H. Foley?

  Did she say yes?

• 27:15Speaker 03

  You tell me. Cut to the clip.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  Just him crying.

• 27:19H. Foley?

  You crying in your driveway. Okay. You put a suit on for that prom? Nice suit?

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:27H. Foley?

  Did you get it, you get a, did you get her a thing of flowers?

• 27:30Speaker 03

  I think a corsage.

• 27:31H. Foley?

  Corsage.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  And how'd you get to that said prom?

• 27:36H. Foley?

  Were you driving at the time?

• 27:37Speaker 03

  Think we, uh, I don't remember.

• 27:41H. Foley?

  Were you drinking?

• 27:42Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 27:43H. Foley?

  No drinking?

• 27:43Speaker 03

  No, no, sir.

• 27:44H. Foley?

  No drinking, no drugs?

• 27:45Speaker 01

  No, sir.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  No, sir.

• 27:46Speaker 01

  I had one beer, actually.

• 27:47H. Foley?

  Did you go out afterwards?

• 27:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, we went to an after-prom, uh, party, which was, the after-prom was at the high school. And then after that, we went to a friend's house where everyone slept there, and so, uh, we had been dating. Sarah and I had been dating for a little bit. And now we're at after-prom together, and this is like the time, and we're sitting, uh, it's like in a big chair in the living room, and someone was sleeping on the couch, so it was not that much private. But we were there, and she fell asleep on me here, and, um, I remember, uh, I kissed the top of her head, and I wasn't sure if that's okay, but also I know she liked me, and since the top of the head, it's fine. And that's, that was kind of my first kiss with a girl.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  Look at me now. Three notable, whatever the fuck from my high school.

• 28:32H. Foley?

  That's the saddest shit I ever heard. He kissed her like a great, what are you, you kids, I tell ya.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  Well, we ended up, we ended up, um, actually kissing and stuff.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Kids, he's forty.

• 28:41H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  I mean, that's, to have the wherewithal at that point to be like, can I kiss the top of your head?

• 28:46Speaker 03

  And then to do it anyway.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  Good God, I would've been hung in Gazungas.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Uh huh, you know, at a different time, I had my pager on.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, let's, alright, he's, alright, he's a squirrely one, this guy. Um. Shh, at any point, did you or anyone in your family ever have a wooden toilet seat?

• 29:08H. Foley?

  I could see both ways, to be honest.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 29:11H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  Right now, do you have a-

• 29:12Speaker 03

  That's a really funny question.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Do you have a pepper shaker or a pepper grinder?

• 29:16H. Foley?

  He's gotta have an automatic, you, I'm sure you have an-

• 29:18Speaker 01

  What's the pepper sitch?

• 29:20Speaker 03

  I, I, I have whole kernels that I grind.

• 29:24H. Foley?

  You grind manually, or do you have the zzz?

• 29:26Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no.

• 29:26H. Foley?

  You'll never be Bobby Foley.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  I, I don't know. It's not one of the ones-

• 29:31H. Foley?

  No, no, you don't want a restaurant.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  You're not in a restaurant.

• 29:35H. Foley?

  Sometimes-

• 29:35Speaker 03

  That cheese grater? Sometimes, cause I, I, I prepare my food in the kitchen and then I eat in the living room from my television and sometimes I have the food on the tray in my living room and I don't want to go all the way in there with the pepper, so I could just get the big one-

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Hold on, let me-

• 29:46Speaker 03

  And just do it from back there.

• 29:47Speaker 01

  Big pin in that, you, there's a tray involved?

• 29:50Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:50H. Foley?

  You bring a tray out?

• 29:51Speaker 01

  A TV tray?

• 29:53Speaker 03

  A proper, just a tray, like-

• 29:55Speaker 01

  Like in a caf, you would get in a cafeteria?

• 29:57H. Foley?

  They're a little nicer.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  You know, so I, I just always had trays and there's a, Wood, Woodworking Pelican was this guy's name, it's, he's changed it, um, but he's this guy that works with wood and I'm forgetting his name, um, his new business, but he saw me talk about like a tray so much and he made me a beautiful custom, a pair of these custom trays.

• 30:16Speaker 01

  That's pretty good.

• 30:16Speaker 03

  He also came to my Seattle show and he brought me these beautiful coasters that he made it look, look like this, but, you know, real.

• 30:23H. Foley?

  Those are great coasters.

• 30:24Speaker 01

  These are great coasters.

• 30:26Speaker 03

  Pine and Maine?

• 30:27H. Foley?

  Pine and Main.

• 30:29Speaker 04

  Is that the company?

• 30:30Speaker 03

  I wouldn't know if you, why, is that what, is that what it says?

• 30:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, I looked up.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  Does it say woodworking pelican?

• 30:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  Now Pine and Main?

• 30:36Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, it's like a maker of Pine and Main.

• 30:38H. Foley?

  Huh, that's very classy.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  But I love, I love it on tray because you have everything there.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  That's so smart. I never, I wanted to make fun of you, but that's fucking pretty.

• 30:46H. Foley?

  I carry all my shit out like an animal.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  I have it on.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  Sometimes I put a, a, a La Croix under my, under my, my armpit to get it out there so I don't spill.

• 30:53H. Foley?

  I got the brew leader under my arm.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  Sure. Do you guys like to eat in front of the television?

• 30:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then you have your tray and you could, you could make a mess on the tray. Put your sauces, put your drinks, whatever. And then, and then you just bring the tray to the kitchen, throw the stuff in the sink, throw the stuff in the garbage, wipe down the tray.

• 31:07H. Foley?

  Now, that's something you saw your mom do when you were a kid.

• 31:09Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 31:10H. Foley?

  Really?

• 31:11Speaker 03

  Uh, maybe.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 31:12Speaker 03

  I, maybe.

• 31:13H. Foley?

  That's, that's very, uh, mom when you're sick. They bring a tray over.

• 31:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like breakfast in bed type stuff.

• 31:19H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  I, I'm not connecting that that's the reason. I think, I think I just like having.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  Everything in space.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  I just want it here.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  Also, it's easy to like, this is mine, cause if I'm sitting with somebody else, this is my tray, that's your tray.

• 31:32Speaker 01

  I gotta do this.

• 31:33H. Foley?

  So, hold on, to backtrack.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  This is right up my alley.

• 31:36H. Foley?

  The pepper and salt grinder, they're not automatic, that you have to manually?

• 31:39Speaker 03

  Salt, I use Milton's, Malden's.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Mortens.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  Malden's.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  Oh, Malden, very nice.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  Finishing salts.

• 31:46H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 31:46Speaker 01

  Very nice.

• 31:47H. Foley?

  And you do the little, hmm?

• 31:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I do, I do.

• 31:48H. Foley?

  But not automatic?

• 31:49Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:50H. Foley?

  Surprised you don't have automatics. They're very big now.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  You're gonna change a battery, you're gonna throw it away?

• 31:55Speaker 01

  Gas powered, I think.

• 31:55H. Foley?

  No, you put it in, it's USB charged.

• 31:57Speaker 03

  I, I, when I turn it, I feel like I'm cooking.

• 32:01H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  You know, and it doesn't have that much cleanup, it's not a waste of my, of my energy. It's like, you know what? What could I do to personalize this meal? You know what? Vroom.

• 32:11H. Foley?

  All right.

• 32:12Speaker 03

  Might as well have somebody else do it.

• 32:13H. Foley?

  Any pink Himalayan salt in the house?

• 32:15Speaker 03

  I got it, but I'm a Malden's boy.

• 32:17H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Malden's is classy.

• 32:19Speaker 03

  Malden's is great.

• 32:20H. Foley?

  Sounds like an old comedy club. He's doing Malden's.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  Who's booking that thing?

• 32:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, they, uh, they, they get mad that a lot of comics aren't wanting to go there anymore, cause it's too far away.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Malden's?

• 32:30Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, this is getting a little salty.

• 32:32Speaker 01

  Send the bus boy to pick you up from the airport.

• 32:33H. Foley?

  And hold on, just to backtrack one more thing. Kevin.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 32:36H. Foley?

  My partner, my associate.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  That's me.

• 32:38H. Foley?

  Smart guy, good guy.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  How you doing?

• 32:40H. Foley?

  Mentioned a mortar and pestle. Are you not aware of what that is?

• 32:45Speaker 03

  And that is our time.

• 32:49H. Foley?

  Rose.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Uh, is that where you, you grinded in the thing?

• 32:52H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  Like you're making mojitos?

• 32:54H. Foley?

  Not mojitos. That's a Muddler.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, you would do that in the class. I'm ordering pecos.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Avocado.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  That's a comic from the 80s, the Muddler.

• 33:03Speaker 03

  Make up, make guacamole?

• 33:05H. Foley?

  Yeah. You don't got that?

• 33:06Speaker 03

  No.

• 33:07H. Foley?

  Where do you get your household items? Are you a Williams Sonoma fella?

• 33:12H. Foley?

  Or you order it online?

• 33:13Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, I have some stuff from Williams Sonoma.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  Do you have a stainless steel pan?

• 33:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:18H. Foley?

  You have a croissant, or what's it called?

• 33:20Speaker 01

  La croissant.

• 33:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 33:21Speaker 03

  Um, I don't, I think I do.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  The colored, they're like colored, bright colors.

• 33:27Speaker 03

  It doesn't matter. I know, you thought you don't see those.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  I don't.

• 33:29Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, I do. I actually, I have one from Williams Sonoma. My, um, uh, the iron, um...

• 33:35H. Foley?

  Cast iron?

• 33:36Speaker 03

  The, you know.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  The big pot?

• 33:38H. Foley?

  The big pot.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Not the pot, the, like, um...

• 33:40H. Foley?

  Saute pan?

• 33:41Speaker 03

  No, it's something that you could put in the oven.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  Cheese grater. Dutch oven.

• 33:46H. Foley?

  Put in the oven?

• 33:47Speaker 03

  It's about this big.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  Is it square?

• 33:48Speaker 03

  It's square.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Baking sheet?

• 33:50Speaker 03

  It's square.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Tray.

• 33:51H. Foley?

  Does it have a lid on it?

• 33:53Speaker 03

  No.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  Buddy, I'm giving you everything in a kitchen right? I'm one step away from refrigerator.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  Uh, uh, something, uh, picture it like, um, a big square bowl.

• 34:02Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, okay.

• 34:02H. Foley?

  It's like a lasagna tray.

• 34:05Speaker 03

  I'm not, you could probably make lasagna in it, yeah.

• 34:08H. Foley?

  I would.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  I don't eat cheese.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  You can make cereal in it if you wanted to.

• 34:12H. Foley?

  Okay, all right.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have some nice...

• 34:14Speaker 01

  That's playing hardball with the kitchen.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  And I, I have nice cooking, uh, cooking appliances.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 34:19H. Foley?

  Do all of your silverware, is all, do you have a complete set of silverware, or do you have mismatched?

• 34:25Speaker 03

  Um, I have, I guess technically mismatched, but the, but the, the least mismatched it could be. I had my silverware that I've been using.

• 34:34H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  And then, my mom's like, Uncle Bob has this stuff, do you want? I'm like, no, no, no, no. I looked at him like, this is actually, I like the knives.

• 34:40H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 34:41Speaker 03

  Um, so I just took the set and I added it to my collection, so I kind of have two sets. I have the good forks, I have the, the not good forks.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  I got, okay, I got a logistical question on this. Where... Is Uncle Bob still with us?

• 34:54H. Foley?

  I believe I know this. Uncle Bob passed, I thought.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  No, he's shaking his head yes, and you're going, "Rick, you're wrong on this one. I got news for you. Check your pager."

• 35:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, Uncle Bob, Uncle Bob is a client advocate of fixed, of communications and fixed voice. Will you look up?

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Uncle Bob?

• 35:10Speaker 03

  I'll do it.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  Just search my Uncle Bob.

• 35:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, he is big in the telecast game right now.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  Telecast?

• 35:18Speaker 03

  Telecom.

• 35:19H. Foley?

  Telecom.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:21H. Foley?

  I don't know what he knows. Sounds smart, though. Shout out to Uncle Bob.

• 35:24Speaker 01

  Shout out to Chum Lee.

• 35:25H. Foley?

  He's doing good enough. He's giving away silverware.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  Well, here, where does Uncle Bob live? Where were the knives located?

• 35:30Speaker 03

  He's an economic development and client advocate of internet bandwidth and fixed voice communications.

• 35:35H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  That sounds like lobbyist, if you ask me.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  So there's a running, running joke in the family that I didn't bring up until maybe 10 years ago at a Thanksgiving. I said, "Uncle Bob, what do you do?" Like, nobody knows what Uncle, like, I don't know what Uncle Bob does. And everyone in the family started laughing, and that's when we realized that nobody knows what Uncle Bob does, but nobody's brought it up to him. And since then, and I've had him on my podcast numerous times to try to explain what he does for a living.

• 35:59H. Foley?

  Does well, Uncle Bob?

• 36:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, he does well. He's, he's, he's, he's big into 211.

• 36:04H. Foley?

  211?

• 36:04Speaker 03

  Look up 211, which was, did a lot during the, the, the LA fires. He helped set up 211.

• 36:10H. Foley?

  Is that like 311, like information?

• 36:11Speaker 03

  It's a little bit less.

• 36:12H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  100 less.

• 36:15Speaker 04

  For like, uh, help with health, human, and social services.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  That would be like our 311, yeah.

• 36:20H. Foley?

  He said, "That's new to LA? They didn't have a 311?"

• 36:22Speaker 03

  No, it's new to being pub, like, a lot of people didn't know about it, but during the fire, people like, you could call 211 if you need help.

• 36:28H. Foley?

  That's pretty good. And Uncle Bob was involved in that?

• 36:30Speaker 03

  In some capacity. I don't understand.

• 36:32H. Foley?

  Get him laid. Get the firefighters. Let's go.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  How did you get the knives from Cleveland to, to Los Angeles?

• 36:38Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm in Cleveland all the time.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  So they live in Cleveland?

• 36:42H. Foley?

  No.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  No. So you, I'm, I'm trying to get, he flew back with?

• 36:45H. Foley?

  He flew back with silverware?

• 36:46Speaker 01

  He flew back with used silverware from Uncle Bob, which to me is pretty fucking crazy.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  Wasn't used.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  You said Uncle Bob has this silverware.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  There was a set that, that there was, it was a gift or something.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  An unopened box was the, was it in a container?

• 37:00Speaker 03

  I don't remember, but probably. I don't think I would have wanted just some loose knives.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Well, that's the way you spun it. You said my Uncle Bob, your mom said Uncle Bob's got these knives.

• 37:07H. Foley?

  Hold on. To Rick's credit, he doesn't strike me as a loose silverware kinda guy. The show is sponsored by Liquid IV.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 37:13H. Foley?

  And I'll be honest with you, so is my whole life, cause all, all about that Liquid IV life.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 37:18H. Foley?

  I've had about 10 of them.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  That's a little too much.

• 37:21H. Foley?

  So far this week.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  You'd be floating away.

• 37:22H. Foley?

  I love it, man. Listen, you're sick, you're hungover. I guess if you went to the gym, whatever.

• 37:28Speaker 01

  So they tell me.

• 37:29H. Foley?

  Liquid IV, dude, it's so good. Hydrates you three times faster than water. Comes in so many delicious flavors. Sugar free. Listen, we talk about Liquid IV all the time. We use it, we love it, we cannot recommend it enough.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  Yes, we have it in the office. I have it at the house. I have it, I have it in the burbs on the road. Lucas's job on the road is to bring like 50 packs of Liquid IV for the whole team, cause we wake up bada bing bada boom. Being hydrated wasn't a thing you ever thought about. Now that I've like used it, I go, I used to use it when I'm hungover or whatever. Now I go, I use it every day just to feel good, just to feel hydrated, baby.

• 38:03H. Foley?

  Concord grape.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah. I like the new berry sugar free when I do it. Treat yourself to extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code garbage at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code garbage. You know it. Liquidiv.com. Do it.

• 38:19H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. Kip, talk about True Classics.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Shout out to True Classics.

• 38:24H. Foley?

  And it ain't just t-shirts no more. They got a lot of stuff over there at True Classics. Do yourself a favor, go on our website, check out what they got. The most comfortable, I'm gonna say it right now.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 38:34H. Foley?

  This ain't in the copy. Most durable t-shirt you can buy.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  Big man puts a wear on them.

• 38:38H. Foley?

  When you wash them, I swear to God, they get better. They get more comfy. They even get like thicker in a weird way.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 38:45H. Foley?

  Now that's not, that's my opinion, okay?

• 38:48Speaker 01

  This hasn't been checked out by NASA?

• 38:49H. Foley?

  This ain't FDA approved.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 38:51H. Foley?

  But they are fantastic t-shirts. They fit great. If you're a bigger guy.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  They fit great for big guys.

• 38:56H. Foley?

  They tight, they tight, they're tight on the pipes, loose on the belly. Again, tight on the pipes, loose on the. True Classics, do your folks a favor.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  Stop calling your arms pipes, by the way. Uh, they also have activewear, moisture wicking, odor fighting, quick drying, antimicrobial, baby. They got long sleeve Henleys, fleece hoodies, jeans, button ups, joggers, and more. They got you covered, baby. Premium clothes at an affordable price. Uh, they have the perfect outfit in five minutes or less. Everything goes great together. Best selling t-shirts, jeans, hoodies, three six, three packs, six packs, nine packs. How you doing? Out the door. Uh, these guys are moving units. Get in on the ground floor with them. Whether you're building up for the cold, uh, bundling up for the cold or getting ready for the spring. Level up your style with clothes that fit just right. Uh, use our exclusive link, trueclassic.com/garbageis saved. That's trueclassic.com/garbage. Shop now and elevate your wardrobe today. Do it.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Wow. Okay, so you flew back with the knives in some sort of container?

• 39:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, unless my mom brought them when she visited. I don't remember how I, how I got them.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Okay, that, well, I'll give you that. That would make more sense.

• 39:55H. Foley?

  There's a question. When the folks come out, do they stay with you or do they get a hotel?

• 40:00Speaker 03

  Hotel.

• 40:00H. Foley?

  They get a hotel. Could you hold them at that, could you have them at the house?

• 40:03Speaker 03

  No.

• 40:04H. Foley?

  Really?

• 40:04Speaker 03

  I, I, no, I don't have a, uh, my guest bedroom is an office, which I'm actually thinking of turning into a guest bedroom.

• 40:10H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  But no, and they don't want to. I don't, I, I go to their hotel. I see them.

• 40:15H. Foley?

  I respect that. That's a classy way to do it.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Get a hotel. Get a hotel. Um, hmm. Do you currently owe anybody any money? Not a large sum, but like 20 bucks from this or dinner or 10 bucks or five bucks from here? No?

• 40:28H. Foley?

  When's the last time you sent a Venmo request?

• 40:30Speaker 03

  I don't have Venmo.

• 40:31H. Foley?

  My man. Look at you.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  What do you like about that?

• 40:34H. Foley?

  I don't know. It's classy operation.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  I got PayPal.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  But I got into PayPal back in the early days when I was selling Magic cards on eBay.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  Let's put a...

• 40:42Speaker 03

  And Dragon Ball Z VCDs.

• 40:44H. Foley?

  Magic. How do you spell magic?

• 40:46Speaker 03

  M A G.

• 40:47H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 40:48Speaker 01

  I C D O R K.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Magic the Gathering.

• 40:52H. Foley?

  Really?

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Uh, all right. Was that a lucrative business for you?

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Buying and selling collectibles, uh, uh, yeah.

• 41:00Speaker 01

  You were, you were...

• 41:01H. Foley?

  You were a Pokemon guy.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  I collected Pokemon a little bit, but I, I was more a Magic player.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  What's that called? Arbitrage? Where you buy for, you, you, you know?

• 41:10H. Foley?

  Arbitrary.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  No, I think it's arbitrage.

• 41:12H. Foley?

  Albatross.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Insignment?

• 41:13Speaker 01

  No.

• 41:15Speaker 03

  I'm not sure.

• 41:16H. Foley?

  What is Magic, what's the difference between Magic the Gathering?

• 41:18Speaker 01

  It's arbitrage, right? Yeah, I think it's...

• 41:20H. Foley?

  What's the difference between Magic the Gathering and, uh... Pokemon.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  Listen, if you have to ask, you can't afford it, alright?

• 41:26H. Foley?

  Other than a kiss on the forehead.

• 41:31H. Foley?

  Make way for the paying customers, daddy.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  You're just gonna be here kicking tires. I'll send you to the house to wash your car.

• 41:39H. Foley?

  Trying to move merchandise. I have some used silverware you might be interested in.

• 41:43Speaker 01

  I'm on PayPal right now.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  I never played Pokemon. I look at Pokemon more as like, I punch you, you punch me. Magic is a little more strategy. I think of it like an adult Pokemon.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Your mana pool, I remember that.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:54H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  It's, uh, it's more strategy. It's, it's, it's chess with cards.

• 41:59H. Foley?

  Really?

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you get, instead of having a set amount of pieces, you build your own deck. And you could cast your spells and have your planeswalkers and have your creatures.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  I remember trying and not being, the only thing I ever retained was mana.

• 42:14H. Foley?

  Somebody get the football, will ya?

• 42:15Speaker 03

  Well, you need somewhere to relax.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Your mana was your land or something, right?

• 42:19Speaker 03

  Mana's currency, yes, land. But like, basically to cast spells, typically you need, um, to have a certain amount of mana, yeah.

• 42:27H. Foley?

  Should've cast a spell on Sarah. You might've got a little action that night.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  Uh, we had sex and she blew me and I ate her out.

• 42:32H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 42:33Speaker 03

  We had a kiss first.

• 42:35H. Foley?

  Jump from a kiss on the forehead.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  This guy can close.

• 42:41H. Foley?

  Did you guys know at the time that those cards were gonna be worth something?

• 42:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were. You knew, cuz I remember that. I got into it for that reason.

• 42:49H. Foley?

  Like, did you keep?

• 42:50Speaker 01

  I was trying, I was trying to wet my beak on this mana. Hey, there's the land deal, there's enough to go around.

• 42:55Speaker 03

  Dual lands are really expensive now.

• 42:57H. Foley?

  You start to pay a top dollar for these things.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  Dual lands are in the thousands of dollars now.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  I remember going to a guy to buy a deck and he was like, you could, there's a thi- he was selling me, now that I look back on it, he fucking, he glass minted me. He was like, they could, this deck, you're looking for this card, it could be in here. So I bought like, three decks and I got all mana, I was screwed.

• 43:14H. Foley?

  What, would you go like, every Saturday when a new deck came out?

• 43:16Speaker 03

  FNM, Friday Night Magic. That was...

• 43:19H. Foley?

  Was that the name of the place?

• 43:20Speaker 03

  Friday Night Magic is a thing that like, fri- card stores have Friday Magic, that's what it is. It's just, you know, you have, there's Monday Night Football, there's Friday Night Magic.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  There's that place in the village. Like where across the street from the chest, it's like they have that.

• 43:32H. Foley?

  Oh, yes, I know what you're talking about.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  Like a table game, like a card game type spot.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  And you'd go and my dad would drop me off at the card store on Friday night and they were open till midnight. And that's where, and you would play and there was a Papa John's across the street and I don't eat cheese. But Papa John's, I always referred to as easy peel pizza because if I was gonna get a whole pizza, I wanted to split it with somebody because like at the time, I couldn't really afford a proper pizza.

• 43:52H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 43:53Speaker 03

  Um, I would want to get my own pizza without cheese, but there I'm like, hey, we'll get it with cheese. And also if you want, I'll even give you my cheese. And I would peel it off with the, you just take it from the base and you could peel it off in one piece, one big triangle. So I would, and I would, I loved Papa John's, dude.

• 44:09H. Foley?

  You know what's funny is we would have been good friends because for a long time I was just cheese. I didn't like the pizza and I would peel it off when it got like maybe 10 minutes out of the oven and I'd roll it up and then put it in my mouth like a piece of gum. And then take sips of the soda and it would harden in my mouth.

• 44:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, that's um.

• 44:26H. Foley?

  That's alright.

• 44:27Speaker 01

  Do you get the check, please?

• 44:28Speaker 03

  That's alright.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  surrounded by queso freaks.

• 44:32H. Foley?

  How old of a fellow were you when you were doing this on a Friday night?

• 44:35Speaker 03

  High school.

• 44:35H. Foley?

  Like, like after freshman year? Like sophomore, junior, senior year?

• 44:42Speaker 03

  Probably mostly like nine, 10, 11.

• 44:46H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Maybe 12, 12.

• 44:47H. Foley?

  That doesn't sound.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  That's all of high school. Maybe a little of college, I'm not sure. Shout out Kent State.

• 44:52H. Foley?

  Cause that doesn't sound like a bad Friday night. They'd let you hang out in the store?

• 44:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, I know I was going there younger too. Um, so pre-high school into high school, I guess. I'm now remembering because I remember, um, the, uh.

• 45:06H. Foley?

  I mean, you're not eating chicks out if you're going to Friday night magic.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  I had a date a girl for six months before I kissed the top of her head. No, I wasn't eating girls out until college.

• 45:15H. Foley?

  Lose the cloak, maybe you get a little headway.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  And by the way, I went D1.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  There you go. I'm not sure I get it.

• 45:22H. Foley?

  That doesn't sound like a bad Friday night. That's a sweet. That's a sweet.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  That was yours. That was... I gotcha.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  Well, I'm just saying, I was in a D1 school when I first ate a girl out. No, I was in high school and I dated a girl recently whose, uh, whose birthday was two days before mine.

• 45:36H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  And it's like, oh, it's interesting that I'm finding these strong, independent women.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  Who share birthdays that are so close to mine.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  Her birthday was July 21st?

• 45:46Speaker 03

  Probably still is. For, um, but, uh, oh, Route 66.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  Prank caller, prank caller.

• 45:55H. Foley?

  Can I say, that sounds like a nice Friday night. The guy wouldn't give you guys shit for hanging out in there?

• 45:59Speaker 01

  That's the whole idea.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  That's the business. You bring people, it's like, that's their happy hour.

• 46:02H. Foley?

  Now, what kind of creature was he? Somebody that looked like me? Some heavyset guy, like comic book man?

• 46:06Speaker 03

  You mean like a crawl worm? Put him a picture. He was a great guy.

• 46:12Speaker 01

  You mean like a tremor?

• 46:13Speaker 03

  Eli, yeah. An adult. He was a great guy. And also, my dad, uh, worked at the rug store. Um, shout out to Marshall Rug Gallery.

• 46:20H. Foley?

  Right.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  And, uh, it was like a mile down the road from there. So, sometimes I would go to work with my dad, like during the summers, and then I would just go to the card shop. And I would be there and I, there was not that many people, during the day, people come in, they buy stuff and they leave. Not that many people are there necessarily playing.

• 46:36Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:37H. Foley?

  Tables in the back?

• 46:38Speaker 03

  Tables in the back. And I would just sit there, um, I would just be there for hours, like looking at the comic books and asking questions and looking in the case at all the cards and asking him questions and stuff. And I was there all the time. And I remember there was one time, I must have asked him too many questions. And by the way, what I'm about to say, Eli's a great guy. He was just, he was just telling how it was.

• 46:56H. Foley?

  Shut the fuck up!

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Listen, kid.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  He said something to me once about something like, um, you know, I'm there all the time.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  I can pick up.

• 47:04H. Foley?

  We're on Eli's side.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  As of now in the story, I'm Team Eli, alright? Alright, guy?

• 47:09Speaker 03

  Um, uh, and he goes, um, uh, he said something where I was like, hey, man, I'm not your babysitter. I remember.

• 47:18Speaker 01

  Where are your parents?

• 47:19Speaker 03

  I remember when he said that. I remember when he said that, I got embarrassed. I got embarrassed because it was only then that I realized, oh no, I'm bothering, I'm here too much? And I got really embarrassed that I was there and I'm so, oh, I'm sorry, I thought like, I was just hanging out and ask, I'm so so, I was just like, even now, I can remember that feeling. Oh, I'm so sorry.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  Kiss him on the head and get out of there.

• 47:40H. Foley?

  I don't want to eat your cheese. Get out of here!

• 47:45Speaker 03

  But you know, I see him, when I go back, I still go in there and like, I was there not too long ago because-

• 47:51Speaker 01

  Listen kid, it's just a fucking job for me, okay?

• 47:55Speaker 03

  Um, part, go to, go to, uh, part of my merch, uh, I have these trading cards that are awesome. Go to TysoCards.com, I want you to see them. I wanted to make you guys cards.

• 48:03H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 48:04Speaker 03

  I do make them with previous guests, um, and then, uh, here, click here.

• 48:08H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 48:11Speaker 03

  Aren't those-

• 48:11Speaker 01

  Oh, those are really cool.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  Shout out to Scott Hepburn, who's a Marvel illustrator-

• 48:14H. Foley?

  Sam Morrell, Mark Norman, those are fantastic.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  Aren't those really cool? And we turn them into different, like, charac- and the cards, they're hollow foil, they're, they're awesome. Like, as a card collector, I-

• 48:22Speaker 01

  You got Blake Griffin on here and not us? That's crazy.

• 48:25Speaker 03

  Well, I would love to, uh, who do you guys, who do you, who would you guys-

• 48:28H. Foley?

  What kind of superpowers would I have?

• 48:30Speaker 03

  Well, that's, I, I like to ask people, tell me who-

• 48:32H. Foley?

  I told you the cheese thing.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  Do you have any characters that you resonate with?

• 48:36H. Foley?

  Do I have any characters, like, comic book characters that I resonate with?

• 48:39Speaker 03

  Any characters.

• 48:39Speaker 01

  He's got the same tits as Wonder Woman.

• 48:43H. Foley?

  And the same taste in the man, huh? Paul Dark and Kryptonian.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  So I was-

• 48:47H. Foley?

  Nothing on that?

• 48:48Speaker 01

  You should make him Eli.

• 48:50H. Foley?

  Eli would have killed that.

• 48:51Speaker 03

  Uh, so I, I went, I went into his card store recently because I was traveling and I needed some cases, and I got a couple of cardboard cases, and, uh, he just gave them to me. I'm like, "No," he's like, "No, just take the cases." And I was like, "You know what? That whole babysitting thing that I've been sitting on for a decade?"

• 49:07H. Foley?

  Yeah, you gotta let it go.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  I think you're cool with me.

• 49:08H. Foley?

  Yeah. Now, you've been a customer twenty something years.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  Man, dude, I love going there because I, um, I didn't really have friends-

• 49:17H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 49:17Speaker 03

  And-

• 49:18Speaker 01

  What?

• 49:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you would go, I didn't have kids that I would play with. I wasn't really part of, of the-

• 49:22H. Foley?

  The crew.

• 49:23Speaker 03

  Yeah. Um, and I would go to Mr. Cards and Comics, and it was all these, what, I, I remember looking, I remember thinking, like, "These are such weird people. Different, eclectic, weird." I didn't know I was one of them, you know? I'm like, going in, and I like these guys that are real nerdy and socially awkward, and some of them smell. I think people know that, people, not all of them, but some people that play Magic. If you were a Magic player, I would just check in, ask somebody, say, "Hey, you have a safe space? Do I smell? Let me know." And the trick is not cologne and perfume. The trick is cleaning your clothes, making sure they dry properly, and showering. And by the way, I'm not even saying shower every day, but if you sweat, or if you shower.

• 50:01H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  Anyway.

• 50:02H. Foley?

  Would adults come in and play with you?

• 50:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, there was kids to adults.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Edo files.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  And, and everybody was part of the same thing. There's a similar feeling I had when I first moved to LA. I played basketball and I got into some basketball games with some comics. I remember one of the first comics that I remember being like, "Cool," was Steve Renazizi. I, I never met him before.

• 50:22H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 50:23Speaker 03

  And I was a fan of the league. I'm like, "That's, this is awesome." But when you're playing basketball with these guys, it's like, it's about the basketball. Not about how much, you know, if you're a headliner or an open mic'er type of thing.

• 50:35H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  And that's the analogy I have for going into, uh, playing Friday Night Magic.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  You're all equal.

• 50:41Speaker 03

  You could be 17 or you could be 45, you're all losers.

• 50:43H. Foley?

  And how were you?

• 50:46Speaker 03

  You know, but losers.

• 50:48H. Foley?

  And some of you smell.

• 50:49Speaker 03

  Losers, some of you smell, but losers.

• 50:50Speaker 01

  If one of you smells, you all smell.

• 50:51Speaker 03

  Looking in the window in there, it really is a cool community. And when I moved out to LA, I would play, um, at a card store in, uh, in, uh, Studio City.

• 51:00H. Foley?

  You did this as an adult?

• 51:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, and there was sanctioned, sanctioned tournament place. So like you were nationally ranked.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  That makes it better. I thought this was amateur shit. You're talking sanctioned?

• 51:09Speaker 03

  Well, it's not sanctioned like you're a pro. It's like.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  Rich, I don't care.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  But, and then, and then after, it was, uh, after, that was every Sunday, uh, every Sunday. And after you, uh, we would go across the street to, um, Panda Express. And this might be one of your garbage, literally. Um, and a Panda Express receipts, at least back in the day, if you fill out the, um, the survey, you call a number, you fill out the survey, you get a free entree with the purchase of another entree. So I would, uh, ask people if I could have the receipt when I would go. And there was sometimes I would look at, uh, if there was any receipts on the top of the garbage. And I would take a receipt from the garbage and I would just do the survey. So I would get a, an entree with two sides and a free entree. And I would play my Magic, I would get, I would get, uh, Panda Express. Dude, it was, I, you know, to be young.

• 51:58H. Foley?

  Now, what's your move at Panda Express?

• 51:59Speaker 03

  I don't eat it anymore, but I like the Beijing beef.

• 52:03H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 52:03Speaker 03

  I would get the Beijing beef, a double order, and lo mein.

• 52:05Speaker 01

  Chum Lee loves that.

• 52:07Speaker 03

  I wanted the orange chicken, but I don't eat dark meat.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  Orange high school.

• 52:10H. Foley?

  You don't eat dark chicken meat?

• 52:12Speaker 03

  No.

• 52:12H. Foley?

  No, you're not a thigh man?

• 52:14Speaker 03

  No, sir. I like thighs on a person.

• 52:17H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  Shout out Stephanie.

• 52:20H. Foley?

  Sarah.

• 52:21Speaker 01

  Sarah.

• 52:23H. Foley?

  Alright. I like a little dark meat.

• 52:25Speaker 03

  She was in Spanish Five, Sarah.

• 52:28H. Foley?

  No dark meat on turkey either, Thanksgiving? Or breast man?

• 52:31Speaker 03

  Breast man.

• 52:32H. Foley?

  Likes the titties.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Growing up, was there any communal collection of magazines in the bathroom?

• 52:40Speaker 03

  Uh, my parents' bathroom had, uh...

• 52:43H. Foley?

  I could see that. They strike me as readers.

• 52:45Speaker 03

  And sometimes I would take a dump in my parents' bathroom so I could check out the Victoria's Secret.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  That was like vacation.

• 52:49H. Foley?

  Really?

• 52:50Speaker 03

  My mom had a Victoria's Secret catalog subscription, I think.

• 52:52H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  Or, it came to the house, maybe my dad did. But, uh, but yeah, I would look at that and I would just...

• 52:59H. Foley?

  I mean, those, when those things hit, man.

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Holy shit, man.

• 53:02H. Foley?

  It's, I mean, that was like penthouse.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  That was crazy.

• 53:05Speaker 03

  Kids have too much access to appreciate. Now, know everything's these Victoria's Secret models are just these ugly hags, but back then...

• 53:14H. Foley?

  Gorgeous.

• 53:14Speaker 01

  They were the end-all, be-all.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 53:16H. Foley?

  Gorgeous. Leo ran through all of them, too.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  I, um, I, uh, I'm gonna brag without name dropping.

• 53:23H. Foley?

  You dated one?

• 53:23Speaker 03

  No, I didn't date one, but there was, uh, I went out with one a couple of times.

• 53:28H. Foley?

  You went out with one?

• 53:29Speaker 03

  Like, I went out with one a couple of times.

• 53:30H. Foley?

  Socially.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  Uh, well, we, like...

• 53:32H. Foley?

  It wasn't like the card store, was it?

• 53:33Speaker 01

  It was the star, you were trying to see, it was the early days of dating. To see if it worked.

• 53:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:39H. Foley?

  I mean, I could see you pulling that.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  But, uh, um, you know what? I was gonna tell a story that I'm not gonna tell.

• 53:45H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna tell.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  Check that out on Patreon.com.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  You can find it on Patreon. Um, I got blown by a Victoria's Secret model.

• 53:53H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  That's pretty cool.

• 53:55H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 53:55Speaker 03

  And, I thought to myself...

• 54:00Speaker 03

  I thought to myself, because I was always, I was always very-

• 54:02H. Foley?

  If Eli could see me now.

• 54:06Speaker 01

  Take that, loser!

• 54:07Speaker 03

  I was always very insecure with girls.

• 54:12Speaker 01

  You're talking to two studs over here.

• 54:14H. Foley?

  Hey, good-looking kid!

• 54:17Speaker 03

  You know, like, uh, I... Would they really want to go out with me? If they do, are they, are they doing this to like, make fun about me to their friends behind my back? Like, I didn't trust that they would like-

• 54:27Speaker 01

  It's not a rom-com.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  Why would they like me? I had some experiences.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  But anyway-

• 54:32H. Foley?

  She's slobbing your knob.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  You won. Whether they make fun of you at a dinner party or not, you're getting your D, you're getting your D sucked, man.

• 54:39Speaker 03

  The reason I say this is, is, um, it was that moment. It was just some decision I made because I, I was like, I masturbated to these people. And now, one of them is like, "You will masturbate to me?" And now, that moment, there's two moments in my life that I can remember where I, I became more confident in some type of sexual way. That was one, when that happened, like, "Oh, maybe girls do like me. Maybe where they, if they say they like me, they mean it." And I, I got a little bit more confident. And then, and another one was, um, uh, when I was, uh, I didn't get chest hair until, uh, college. And then, I got chest hair. And, um-

• 55:19Speaker 01

  And that was like an awakening for you?

• 55:21Speaker 03

  I didn't think anything of it, I just got some chest hair. And then, uh, I was dating a girl in college who went to a different college, and I went to her dorm, and the guys and the girls were on the same floor, separate wing. So I took a shower down the hall, and then I walked back to her room, uh, with a towel around my waist, but not, um, covering my torso.

• 55:38H. Foley?

  Get the chest hair out.

• 55:39Speaker 03

  And she goes, "Get in the room, you have so much chest hair." And it, like, that fucked me up for years.

• 55:44H. Foley?

  Oh, I thought you would have taken confidence in that.

• 55:46Speaker 03

  Uh, no, she was like, "Tied." And I'm like, "Oh, is this, should I be embarrassed?" And I didn't even have a choice, the answer was yes.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  This dumb broad, what are you talking about?

• 55:53H. Foley?

  Man among boys, what are you talking about? Run that goddamn door!

• 55:56Speaker 01

  I was slipping out of my seat while you were talking. I was picturing your hog flapping through the towel.

• 56:00Speaker 03

  No, sir.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  If we're being honest. I was, that's where I was, I thought all the girls are gonna be coming out fucking, you know-

• 56:07H. Foley?

  Talk about magic.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Trying to be, trying to be the next Victoria's Secret model.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  So I embarrassed her, I was embarrassed and for years, I like even swimming, I didn't want to take my shirt off. I was so embarrassed about my chest hair until I saw Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, which is why in those Tysocards, I'm Wolverine, uh, because I saw Hugh Jackman and he had chest hair and he didn't have the same, doesn't have the same body I have. But like, I was like, he looks cool, maybe hair is okay. And like that, I'm like, I'm gonna be okay with my shirt off. So Hugh Jackman and Victoria's Secret are the only reason why I'm allowing myself to, to date.

• 56:39H. Foley?

  I always saw it the opposite. I thought chest hair was like, uh.

• 56:42Speaker 01

  Manly.

• 56:42H. Foley?

  Yeah, yeah. Tom Selleck, I'm from a different era. Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, they all had chest hair.

• 56:47Speaker 03

  I think that, I think.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  He's only 20, 80, he doesn't get the.

• 56:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think girl, girls, girls that grew up in the 90s or, um, were, uh, it's split, some like chest hair, some, because I don't know if you remember, but in the 90s, that's when guys are even were waxing their chest and like shaving their chest hair. And that's when manscaping started. And then I think chest hair is kind of coming back.

• 57:07H. Foley?

  I don't have any.

• 57:09Speaker 01

  It's wild.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  You have none?

• 57:11Speaker 01

  It's like, it's like, it's like a skin won't grow it.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  Huh.

• 57:14H. Foley?

  Nothing, smooth.

• 57:15Speaker 03

  I still feel, I'm okay with it, but I still feel insecure when I take my shirt off because of my chest hair.

• 57:20H. Foley?

  That's good stuff. And to answer your question, I do.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Also, we haven't seen it. What if it's insane?

• 57:26Speaker 03

  I trim it.

• 57:26Speaker 01

  And we're like, we're like, nah dude, it's totally cool. It takes it off. And we're like, what the fuck?

• 57:31Speaker 03

  I trim it to a point to where, uh, I don't want it to look trimmed.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Sure. I like to trim. I remember seeing my, my cousin, well, he trimmed it. I was young on the beach and he had it. I was like, that, you look cool.

• 57:42Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  When it's trimmed, it looks nice.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  You really, but, but then like when you have as much as I do, because I, I'm a hairy guy. Then like, it's like, you, if you go too short, it just looks like military, it just looks like, it just, you got, either get rid of it or keep it.

• 57:57H. Foley?

  You gotta high and tight your nips.

• 57:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  Choose a lane.

• 57:59Speaker 03

  And I would do, you do tighter on the nips, a little longer on the chest, a little shorter on the thing. I remember I was experimenting all the time and I tightened my abs to see where the lines would be. And I did like a tic tac toe board on my thing. And then it was just, it just looked like I, you know.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 58:13Speaker 03

  It's like, it'll grow back.

• 58:15Speaker 01

  Huh.

• 58:16H. Foley?

  I identify, for a card, I would identify Wolverine, but not the Hugh Jackman version. You know, a lot of times they drew him differently. You know, originally he was kind of a short, stocky guy. So I would identify with Wolverine.

• 58:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, you kind of like how they drew Homer in like, in like 89.

• 58:32H. Foley?

  Hey Bart!

• 58:33Speaker 01

  That fucking shit ass voice. It's like buddy, I don't know who you are, but you ain't Homer, alright?

• 58:39H. Foley?

  Or the Silver Surfer.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  What about the Silver Surfer?

• 58:43H. Foley?

  I would identify with him.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  Because he's hairless?

• 58:45H. Foley?

  He's smooth.

• 58:47Speaker 03

  Is that why you said it?

• 58:48H. Foley?

  No, I just like him. I also liked, um, uh, what's his name? Who am I thinking of?

• 58:53Speaker 01

  That would be Alvin.

• 58:54H. Foley?

  Who was Morpheus? Who played Morpheus? Drawing a blank on his name, I don't know why.

• 58:59Speaker 03

  The guy with the eye?

• 59:01H. Foley?

  Yeah, you know, Morpheus is famous actor.

• 59:03Speaker 01

  Laurence Fishburne? Larry? Talking Larry?

• 59:05H. Foley?

  Laurence Fishburne did the voice in the Silver Surfer when they did it with, um, uh, Mandy Moore, or whoever it was. I liked his voice. I liked the Silver Surfer. Or the Beyonder.

• 59:15Speaker 03

  Who do you like better as a singer, Mandy Moore or Mandy Patinkin?

• 59:18H. Foley?

  Mandy Patinkin? Ah, he's pretty old school. I like that Mandy Moore though. I'll tell you, the most talented one is, is, uh, the one from Wicked. The lady from Wicked.

• 59:28Speaker 01

  Ariana Grande?

• 59:29H. Foley?

  Man, she, uh, both of those ladies are unbelievable.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  Whoever he has a crush on at the moment.

• 59:32H. Foley?

  Dude, she does voices?

• 59:34Speaker 01

  Oh, he's coming in with some new pop star.

• 59:35H. Foley?

  She might be the most talented person on the planet.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  Jamie Foxx, and the debate closed.

• 59:40H. Foley?

  Nah. I'll put you, I'll put Jamie Foxx up there.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  Very talented.

• 59:43Speaker 03

  You know, bringing up Mandy Moore is making me think of, uh, Aquaman from Entourage.

• 59:46H. Foley?

  It was Jessica Alba.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  And then also in Entourage. Um, and there's also is making me think of, it's kind of like how when, um, when Ari started his new agency, Vince and the guys had to walk up so many flights of stairs to get there. And I was thinking about Entourage on my way up here.

• 1:00:00H. Foley?

  Pretty good.

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  Six flights to get up here.

• 1:00:02H. Foley?

  Six flights. Hey, giving our location away. Got the obstacle force.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Got the obstacle.

• 1:00:07H. Foley?

  Good thing we got the guard dog here.

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  Alright, I mean, I think I got one or a couple more here we can just run through real quick. You open your eyes underwater in a pool.

• 1:00:14Speaker 03

  I, I want to, I've tried it, that's not for me.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  That's like you treat it like it's sushi. Listen, I give it a shot every time I can, not for me.

• 1:00:22Speaker 03

  That's how I feel about sushi.

• 1:00:23H. Foley?

  Do you do sushi?

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  I want to, I've tried it, my body responds well to it, it's not for me.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  Uh, okay, go.

• 1:00:29H. Foley?

  Will you dance at a wedding?

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  I'll dance anywhere.

• 1:00:32H. Foley?

  Can you move? You any good?

• 1:00:33Speaker 03

  I'm a good dancer.

• 1:00:34H. Foley?

  Fast dance? Like, you got, you know?

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  Dirty dancing?

• 1:00:38Speaker 03

  How many beats per minute are we talking?

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  What are you, fucking Detective?

• 1:00:42H. Foley?

  Anybody can slow dance. Do you have some moves out there?

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:45H. Foley?

  Can you walk in it up a little bit?

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  Buddy, I got chest hair, I got blown by Victoria's Secret bottle, you think I can't dance?

• 1:00:51H. Foley?

  What do you think?

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  And he knows Hugh Jackman.

• 1:00:53Speaker 03

  I don't know Hugh Jackman.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Just roll with it, I'm trying to get you laid. Uh, have you ever made poached eggs at the house?

• 1:01:00Speaker 03

  I don't really like eggs. When I make them, I make them hard boiled and I throw away the yolk. And you know what I do every time I do it? I go, "These are good, yolks aside."

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  It's pretty good. Uh, do you have any half-used, uh, gift cards currently?

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I have them all in a pile somewhere that I'm not gonna use.

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  Okay, and so nothing where you're like, "I gotta get to this." No like Best Buy for a hundred bucks, that you're like waiting on a purchase?

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  No, no, there's like, I did a show and somebody gave me like a Van Leeuwen free ice cream cone. And I give it to somebody who comes over.

• 1:01:26H. Foley?

  Now, Van Leeuwen, I like that. Um, do you have any baking soda in your fridge or freezer currently?

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  In my fridge, and it's been there for too long, it needs to be replaced.

• 1:01:35H. Foley?

  Okay. You know, they have the suction cup ones now, you can put it on.

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  I have proper baking soda because I'll take it sometimes if I have heartburn.

• 1:01:41H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  So I put it in a nice little ramekin, my sauce ramekin.

• 1:01:43H. Foley?

  I tell everybody, if you get heartburn, half a teaspoon of baking soda and water, it's gone instantly.

• 1:01:48Speaker 03

  I also would like to do a plug for, uh, IB Guard.

• 1:01:51H. Foley?

  Please.

• 1:01:51Speaker 03

  It's this pill that's peppermint oil, and it's friggin' magic.

• 1:01:54H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:01:55Speaker 03

  Magic. Stomach ache, heartburn, take it within minutes. Magic. I like it so much, I want to invest in the company.

• 1:02:03H. Foley?

  I stick with Nexa.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  For that reason, I'm out.

• 1:02:04H. Foley?

  I like the hard stuff.

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  Huh, alright, uh...

• 1:02:08H. Foley?

  Can you whistle, Rick?

• 1:02:11Speaker 01

  That was done in post for the audio listener. Uh, hmm.

• 1:02:16H. Foley?

  I should've said "with your fingers."

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  Uh, if you get mail for the wrong person, what do you do?

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  If it's in my, because I have a place where like...

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  If it's in your building?

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I go and I put it by their door.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  Okay, if it's not in your building, if it's, you know, your 123 Main Street, it comes in for 100 Main Street. Or 123 Second Ave.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  I only think it's happened once where it wasn't like, I could just walk out and drop it there, and it was someone across the street, and I, I think it was still just across the street.

• 1:02:41H. Foley?

  Are you looking? Will you open it, I think is the question?

• 1:02:43Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:02:44H. Foley?

  No peeking? Do you know your neighbors?

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  Some of them.

• 1:02:47H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 1:02:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got some phone numbers.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  Sure they dive in the bushes like...

• 1:02:52Speaker 01

  Whoa!

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  You say "they" dive in the bushes?

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  Why do I have that reputation? Why do you think that? I don't think you would say that to anybody.

• 1:03:01Speaker 01

  Uh, no, that's a generic joke.

• 1:03:03Speaker 03

  You think? Really?

• 1:03:04Speaker 01

  For sure. That your neighbors don't like you?

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  Because I resonate with it. Like, I'm thinking like, I mean, maybe.

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  This isn't like, I don't want that whole chest hair incident again. That's not what I...

• 1:03:15Speaker 03

  No, no, no, it's okay.

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  I don't want you afraid to look at your neighbor.

• 1:03:17Speaker 03

  I wasn't sure also because I know you like Homer so much and he's a big, you know, hide in the bushes kind of guy.

• 1:03:22H. Foley?

  Do you have a grill lighter at the house?

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:03:25H. Foley?

  Okay. Do you have a grill?

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:03:27H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Whoa, what are you doing? Fireworks?

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  Same with my pepper shaker. Sometimes I just want to light it and season it from far away.

• 1:03:33H. Foley?

  Nice for candles. What about binoculars? You got binoculars at the house?

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:03:36H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 1:03:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, a wooden toilet seat or binoculars, okay.

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  Have you ever owned cargo sweatpants?

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  No, but I loved cargo shorts and pants when I was younger. And I had cargo pants that unzipped into shorts.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  Yikes.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  To play basketball in.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  You played basketball in them?

• 1:03:53Speaker 03

  Even when you first starting out.

• 1:03:55H. Foley?

  So Woody Harrelson did it in White Man Can't Jump. He kicked ass.

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  Look at him now.

• 1:03:58H. Foley?

  Look at him now.

• 1:03:59Speaker 03

  They're making a Champions 2.

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  They didn't have zip offs back then. He was a cutoff.

• 1:04:03H. Foley?

  He wore cargo shorts.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  That's different, though. Huh. When was the last time you were on a boat?

• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  You can't even pull it?

• 1:04:20Speaker 03

  I mean, I was on a ferry with my car coming back from Newport Beach.

• 1:04:25H. Foley?

  Wow, that's...

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  That counts, I guess.

• 1:04:27Speaker 03

  Uh, July 4th, 2023.

• 1:04:30H. Foley?

  What is the car these days? Can we ask you? What are you whipping around town in? What are you whipping around town in LA?

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  Can I guess?

• 1:04:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:37H. Foley?

  Tesla?

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  That's a pretty good guess.

• 1:04:41H. Foley?

  Or something sensible.

• 1:04:42Speaker 01

  RAV4.

• 1:04:43H. Foley?

  Prius.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  No, it is a hybrid electric Audi Q5.

• 1:04:47H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:04:49H. Foley?

  That is it right there.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  Class.

• 1:04:53H. Foley?

  Missed the class, man.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  I got the hybrid electric, not specifically for the electric, which has been great. I don't have to fill up that much. But more so so I could drive in the HOV lane.

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  Is it, uh, white?

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  Black.

• 1:05:08H. Foley?

  Nice. Keep it clean.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  Normally, but after the fires, I've been, and it, it, all that, I haven't. And I, I wasn't gonna get it washed, but I'm like, then I'm coming to New York. And Boston and Philadelphia.

• 1:05:20H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. Let it sit for a little bit. It's good.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  I mean, I, I, listen, we tried, we threw the book at him again a second time, kids all fucking classy.

• 1:05:28H. Foley?

  Bulletproof. Hundred percent class, my friend. You and your little friend there.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:34H. Foley?

  Your little buddy, which the dog makes you look classier. To be honest with you. Yeah. And you're also kinda now a comic. That you bring the dog everywhere, which I think you've earned and deserved.

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  I'm on the fence.

• 1:05:46H. Foley?

  And he's small, same, I don't. He's small enough of a doggy.

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  When I'm, when I'm, like, it's. Like, when I'm in New York, like, I'm here, and then I'm gonna do another podcast, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm gone all day, so if I'm gonna be gone all day, I'm gonna take the dog with me.

• 1:05:58H. Foley?

  Take the dog.

• 1:05:59Speaker 03

  And then, if I have a show, I don't, I'll take the dog with me, but I'm not like, leaving my house and bringing the dog to the shows all the time, you know what I mean?

• 1:06:05H. Foley?

  Gotcha, we doing Spots in LA or something like that.

• 1:06:07Speaker 03

  Um, I, a couple of times I've brought a dog, uh, one, uh, one was intentional, when Jordan Jensen was in town, I wanted.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  Shout out Jordan.

• 1:06:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, and she had a coyote, and I wanted them to meet, and they just chill in the green room, but he really. I do bring him on the road.

• 1:06:18H. Foley?

  He's a good hang.

• 1:06:19Speaker 03

  And I, I, I do bring him to shows, but I leave him in the green room.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. No.

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  I love having a man when traveling.

• 1:06:25H. Foley?

  He's a good dude, man.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  I get it.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  So sweet.

• 1:06:27Speaker 01

  Someone to roll with.

• 1:06:28H. Foley?

  Good wingman. Rick Glassman, ladies and gentlemen. Brought to the ringer twice. Coming out on top, hundred percent classy.

• 1:06:35Speaker 03

  Kids all. You know, beat Bobby Foley, you, he wins around seventy percent of the time.

• 1:06:39H. Foley?

  He's tough to beat, man, the guy's good.

• 1:06:41Speaker 03

  He's an iron chef. Like Ching Lung. How many, how many, what do you think the percentage of people that coming in classy here are?

• 1:06:48H. Foley?

  There's very few. There's very few.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, very few, very few good.

• 1:06:52H. Foley?

  Your forementioned, uh, Ms. Jensen. Yikes.

• 1:06:55Speaker 01

  I think Segor, so Tom Segor, class both times, we tried. Yeah, that's about.

• 1:07:02H. Foley?

  Jensen was the.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  Francis Ellis.

• 1:07:03H. Foley?

  Chaz.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  Chaz Palminteri.

• 1:07:06H. Foley?

  Jensen was the king of trash until we ran into Christina P. down in Austin.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  Christina Piszczewski.

• 1:07:11H. Foley?

  Hello.

• 1:07:12Speaker 01

  Psycho. Um.

• 1:07:14H. Foley?

  You're all class, buddy.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  All class. We love you, buddy. Thanks for coming by.

• 1:07:17Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me.

• 1:07:18H. Foley?

  Anything you got coming up you want the folks to know?

• 1:07:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm on tour. The Ricky's on the Loose Tour. Uh, I got my tickets at punchup.live/ricklasman. I don't know when this comes out, but tickets are up there and I'm adding new cities, uh, back into the year. Uh, I don't know. Buy some tickets.

• 1:07:33H. Foley?

  If you don't know, check out the podcast.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:07:36H. Foley?

  He's one of the funniest, most unique comedians and actors working, and we absolutely love him.

• 1:07:40Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:40H. Foley?

  Right?

• 1:07:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:41H. Foley?

  Right, Alvin? Who you looking at?

• 1:07:44Speaker 01

  Simon and Theodore?

• 1:07:46H. Foley?

  What do you got for him, Kip?

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  Uh, guys, we're on the road as well. The Back on the Block Tour. Tickets are going quick. Second shows are being added. We can't add second shows in all the cities, so get them. Don't snooze, 'cause you go to lose, and we love you.

• 1:07:56H. Foley?

  And check out the Route 66 Tour gang. We love you, and we'll see you next week. Peace.