History Hyenas!

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedians and podcast hosts Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas! We're talking about buying houses, cleaning your front yard and marriage! You know the History Hyenas, Chrissy & Yannis from stand up comedy, Chrissy Chaos, the Yannis Pappas Hour, The Joe Rogan Experience, Whiskey Ginger w/ Andrew Santino, Kill Tony, Soder Podcast, Bad Friends, Stavvys World, Your Mom's House, and so much more! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Tour Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Aura Frames: Exclusive $20-off Carver Mat at https://AuraFrames.com. Use code GARBAGE at checkout to save iRestore: For a limited time only, our listeners get $625 off their iRestore Elite when you use code AYG at https://iRestorelaser.com Sheath: Head over to https://sheath.com and Use code Garbage to save 20% on your order to upgrade your underwear game today! Factor: Eat smart with Factor. Get started at https://FACTORMEALS.com/FACTORPODCAST and use code FACTORPODCAST to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Again, we want to thank everybody for all the love and support on the Route 66 special. It is out now. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out. Yeah, and the Back on the Block Tour starts this week. Tickets still available for Pontiac, Michigan, March 8th. March 11th, Milwaukee Improv. And then March 14th, Minneapolis, Minnesota at the Fillmore. Get your tickets on barbecuebarbers.com. We'll see you there.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:40Speaker 00

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that they have to be classy. Yeah. But they're just a big old piece of trash. We're Jean Jean.

• 0:55H. Foley?

  I was about to go, trash, trash, trash.

• 0:59Speaker 00

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a glorious day. We're out back here at Toody's and the New Editions. She's out hitting the links, believe it or not. Okay. She's working on her short game for the spring. All right. You know, a little winter rules. Sure. She's got a caddy, lets her in. All right. Whatever. My co-host's coming at you right next to me, unamused this week. It's a tough laugh this kid. My co-host, CEO of Are You Garbage, international businessman, Kevin James Ryan. Hey, what's up, everybody? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube, and now full video available on Spotify. Check that out. Then the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. Check that out. Check out that Route 66 tour. Cook it over there on the YouTube page. Yeah. Well, we couldn't be more excited to have two of our incredibly special guests

• 1:43Speaker 00

  here with us today. Two of the absolute funniest, two of the best, couple of good-looking kids, too, let's be honest. Ladies and gentlemen, the history hyenas. Yeah, mommy and daddy. Mommy and daddy. We got the boys here. Yeah, the mommy and daddy here. We reconcile. The divorce has been recent.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  We're back, we got the kids back, we got everybody, well, we lost a couple of kids in the divorce, but that's okay, but Yanni, my wife-

• 2:09Speaker 04

  Not for long, go to patreon.com/historyhyenas!

• 2:12Speaker 03

  Yeah!

• 2:13Speaker 00

  I hear the sex is better than ever.

• 2:15Speaker 04

  We're gonna have a battle of the patriots.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Well, the sex is better than ever because Yanni, my wife, lost the weight. Yanni's weighing in at 196 now, it's the first time I see my lady-

• 2:23Speaker 04

  Cute kid.

• 2:24Speaker 03

  First time I see my lady under two hundo pounds.

• 2:27Speaker 00

  Yanni, you did come in really first day of school in it, you got the new boots on.

• 2:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's a guy whose wife dressed him, "Put on your boots!", he's got his brand new carhartt boots on. "Ain't never seen me outside." You know what I really, um, I really don't like now about this era? Is every person asks me, "Are you doing something?"

• 2:46Speaker 03

  Ozempic.

• 2:47Speaker 04

  It's just everyone- Ah, what are you on, you doing it? Yeah, did you do it naturally?

• 2:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then you say, "No, I'm just on repressed childhood memories, that's what I'm eating."

• 2:56Speaker 04

  I just, it's all, it's called depression.

• 2:58Speaker 00

  It's called depression, they don't know the value of an old weight bench in the garage.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:03Speaker 00

  Cracking it out to some blue oyster cult.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  No, you know, the problem is my, the ceiling in my garage is too low. So I can't get a treadmill or else I'd go through the cheat rock. I don't think that's a garage.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, what is it for a tricycle?

• 3:15Speaker 00

  It's only for convertibles?

• 3:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, unfortunately, my garage is a little bit of a problem, it's got low ceilings.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  Why don't you get a lift for the garage, why don't we raise the ceiling a little bit?

• 3:22Speaker 04

  Raise the roof.

• 3:23Speaker 03

  Wait, hold on, that doesn't make any sense, how do you get the car in there?

• 3:26Speaker 04

  The car, when I pop the hood, I have to control the pop, so it doesn't hit the, I gotta open it by hand.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  What? So if you had, but, so if you had like an SUV, you can't get one in there?

• 3:37Speaker 04

  You can't get one in there.

• 3:38Speaker 00

  Is it a drop ceiling?

• 3:39Speaker 04

  It's a, no, it's not even a drop ceiling, it's just when they built it, it was just, I guess it was built for Chinese. Right.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Is it connected to the house or a detached garage?

• 3:48Speaker 04

  It's standalone. It's underneath.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  It's underneath, okay, yeah, because I'm not-

• 3:51Speaker 04

  Oh, you're on a hill.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  I'm on a hill.

• 3:52Speaker 04

  He's on a hill, that's what matters, he's on a hill.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a kid who should have been in construction.

• 3:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:58Speaker 04

  Wait, hold on, it's underneath, it's underneath the house? It's underneath the house, underneath the floor of the house. Yeah, so you go down-

• 4:04Speaker 00

  His driveway.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:05H. Foley?

  Oh, you have one of those?

• 4:06Speaker 04

  We got a nice clean coat of white that's covering up the, all the imperfections. So it looks like a finished garage.

• 4:12H. Foley?

  Gorgeous. Wait, you have a driveway that goes down?

• 4:14Speaker 04

  The driveway goes down the hill.

• 4:15H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 4:16Speaker 04

  Yep, down the hill.

• 4:17H. Foley?

  That's very old school Queens Brooklyn.

• 4:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:19H. Foley?

  That's where they killed Joe Pesci in Goodfellas.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:21H. Foley?

  Right there, throw him down.

• 4:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just, I'm not interested in a house. For me, the garage.

• 4:26Speaker 00

  You're renting again.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  I'm renting again.

• 4:28Speaker 00

  This kid's all, he calls me, I buy a house, we start talking, how's the house going? I go, great. He goes, best decision you could ever make? Next text right away, he goes, I sold my house. I'm going back to an apartment.

• 4:37H. Foley?

  Christie's got two roommates again.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  I said, listen, the mortgage rates are the lowest they've ever been in history. I bought during that time.

• 4:44H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  I said, let me wait till they triple, then I'm gonna sell.

• 4:46Speaker 04

  And you did.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  And that's what I did. And that's what I did because I like a little bit of the chaos and it's a, and it's a regrettable decision, but I will tell you this, is I've looked, I've been trying to look at a couple of houses again, and I'm just, anyone on Zillow, anyone listening to me, any real estate agents that I may or may not hire, because I'm always firing them and hiring them. I'm not looking for houses with detached garages. I need the garage attached to the house, because that's where I put the gym. I don't pull my car into the garage, I put my gym equipment in the garage, and I leave the car outside the garage, and I just wipe the fucking snow off like an American.

• 5:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's actually, it's an American way to do it.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  It is.

• 5:20H. Foley?

  Did you, you made a few bucks on the house, the Staten Island house?

• 5:23Speaker 03

  I made a few bucks on the house, but I-

• 5:25Speaker 04

  If you consider breaking even, making a few bucks.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  Well, I was gonna say, if you, if you consider a few, if you, if you consider making a few bucks-

• 5:31H. Foley?

  Which I do.

• 5:32Speaker 03

  Right, if you consider making a few bucks, meaning four dollars, then yes, that's, because I, I completely renovated the entire kitchen and bathrooms, and then your baby, I sold it a month later.

• 5:42H. Foley?

  You never got into, when you were gonna, uh, make the pool all one level.

• 5:46Speaker 03

  No, I did do that as well. Yes, and then-

• 5:48H. Foley?

  You never know, he turned, turned his pool into a coin pond.

• 5:51Speaker 04

  He spent a couple of coins on renovating it for the nice family that bought it.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  And then, and then the beautiful Palestinian family that bought it, they are enjoying a, a nice new home.

• 6:00Speaker 00

  That's good, you're a good guy now.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  Well, that's what I said. I said, you know, and that's the one way I'm helping with the war here. You know, as I gave the Palestinians a home on Staten Island, and then, but I also, you know, I got-

• 6:10H. Foley?

  With a two foot pole.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I gave the Palestinians my house, and I gave the, my Jewish accountant the money.

• 6:15Speaker 00

  There you go.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  The transaction, so I helped both sides.

• 6:17Speaker 04

  And that's why we've been on the horn with Netanyahu trying to figure out how to get it back.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Yes. Yes.

• 6:22H. Foley?

  Netanyahu.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Netanyahu.

• 6:24Speaker 00

  You said that like AI.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  He made something he's an Apache. Yeah, and I don't know why his face isn't on chocolate drink bottles and they're calling him net and Yoohoo's. I don't know why they're not doing that, because every time I hear that guy's name, it makes me think of a fucking Yoohoo, and I think they should combine the marketing. Yeah, and there's no milk in that. There is, no. That's dairy free Yoohoo. Dairy free. Big fan. We were speaking about the Yuka app before. This app, not, you know, it's not a sponsor, I don't have any, I would love for them to get involved, but you start scanning different foods on this app, it's called Yuka, Y-U-K-A, and you see, start seeing the chemicals. Every food gets a score. Like this, right here, here. Let me, let me do this. Let's scan these puppies. Jesus Christ, Danish butter cookies, 24 out of 100, folks. Is that good or bad? Bad. It's red, bad. Additives, it's got additives, it's got saturated fat, it's got calories, it's got sugar, it's got...

• 7:11Speaker 00

  It's got cali- no shit, it's got calories.

• 7:13Speaker 04

  Hey, stop it, you're making Foley hungry.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  Somebody get RFK out of here. Well, Foley, let me, but these guys coming after Wendy's. But here's what I like.

• 7:21Speaker 00

  It's an American institution.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  Right, but here's what I like about this app, is if it just told me the food's bad, I'd say, thank you, how's it fucking help me? This food gives you recommendations. Alternative? Alternative. So Royal Dance Danish Butter Cookies, get a 24 out of 100, but for 72 out of 100, which is good, good, good, you can get Tea Rusk Whole Wheat Crispy Cookies.

• 7:42Speaker 00

  I'd rather eat my own asshole, dude.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Or, sugar free fiber biscuits, for 66 out of 100, or...

• 7:49Speaker 00

  How are those only 66? That should be 100, the mix.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Rybo Flavens where the flavor is. Or, or you can get, um, Avon Coal, I don't know what that is, that's a 66. My cousin had that.

• 7:59Speaker 00

  That's what killed the Indians.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 8:01Speaker 00

  We put that on some blankets.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  Or Matilde Vincenzi Lady Fingerstone, seems so bad, and that's a 51. Now, those are alright.

• 8:07Speaker 04

  They should call that app no fun.

• 8:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, man, talk about a tough hang. New Chrissy, New Chrissy's a tough hang.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  I don't like this RFK poking his nose around. I'll scan this fucking water right now. Natural water, feed you water, 100 out of 100, folks.

• 8:21Speaker 00

  That's just from the sink, though, we just, we really, we filled them up.

• 8:24Speaker 03

  This is all good.

• 8:26H. Foley?

  But get the Yuka app, it's healthy, this kid's mom uses it and she's a CEO.

• 8:30Speaker 00

  Chrissy's the king of new things. Every time I see him, he's got a new thing.

• 8:34H. Foley?

  What are you doing with the gym equipment now? Do you have a storage locker somewhere?

• 8:38Speaker 03

  No, I have a detached garage and the thing is-

• 8:41Speaker 00

  So are you living like Doug, like King of Queens Doug Heffernan?

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Hundred percent. That's how we're living right now. We got in the wall air conditioners, we take them in, take them- I got the air conditioner, I gotta lift the window up and put the AC unit in. I got no central AC.

• 8:55Speaker 00

  Moved to the Burbs, like Yanni, what are you doing?

• 8:57Speaker 03

  She doesn't want to move there.

• 8:58Speaker 04

  This is my theory on Chrissy, it's just you gotta understand you're dealing with a kid from Ridgewood, Queens, right? So there's certain things that makes those kids comfortable.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  His jaw, whenever Yanni say he's a kid from Queens, he gets all caveman.

• 9:13Speaker 04

  That's when the bottom jaw comes out.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  Jaw comes out.

• 9:15Speaker 00

  Go Mets!

• 9:17Speaker 04

  You know something, good's coming. So he's just a kid, there's certain things that just, he needs to be comfy.

• 9:22Speaker 00

  I respect that.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I need an AC that I gotta put in the window.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, plug in. You like plugging one in.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  I gotta be honest with you, my house was, my house in Staten Island was too fancy. I didn't have any lights that I could put a string on and pull down. So I was like, I need to pull these fucking lights, I'm gonna pull the lights out of the ceiling. So I need that. I need, and I, but I do need now the one amenity that I'm looking for is I want the garage attached to the house. Cause I got my gym equipment right now in my detached garage in my house and even though it's just a five foot walk, I never use the gym. It's gotta be attached to the house.

• 9:54Speaker 00

  So you think if it's closer than five, if it's two feet, you're gonna go?

• 9:57Speaker 03

  If it's attached to the house, I use it. If it's not attached to the house, I don't use it.

• 10:01H. Foley?

  That chick could be in my bedroom.

• 10:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's, that's folly level denial and I respect it.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:07H. Foley?

  You got all that equipment up there in the garage?

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I won't-

• 10:09H. Foley?

  Jesus!

• 10:10Speaker 03

  And I won't fricking use it and I should, I should, but if it's attached to the house, I use it. And I make up the excuse, I got kids, I can't, I can't be not in the same physical space as them if nobody's watching them. But if the garage is attached to the house, I say to kids, hey, sit there, put on Netflix, put on the cartoons, daddy's gonna do his pull-ups and hit the weights.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  You can still yell in, tell them to start a sauce.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I could say, hey, get off the couch, stop hitting your sister. And then I go back to the fucking treadmill.

• 10:36Speaker 04

  That's how you know how probably difficult it is to be his real estate agent. They probably show him like a beautiful house, detached garage. You know, what if it's a foreclosure sale? Let's talk.

• 10:46Speaker 00

  Great price.

• 10:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, great price, one million. It's really a $10 million house. He's going like, the garage was on the house, you're taking it.

• 10:53H. Foley?

  We can't guarantee you can smell calzones when you come outside in the morning.

• 10:57Speaker 03

  Here's the thing, and I've been told by two different people. This is, this is the first time they did this ever in their careers, and they both did it to me. I've been dropped by two real estate agents.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  Real estate agents never drop anybody. I mean, you find these people on Zillow, and I've been dropped by two of them.

• 11:14H. Foley?

  Yeah. How's that breakup call go?

• 11:16Speaker 03

  They say, we saw the, the, the most recent one, that we were looking at houses in Westchester. I was trying to get out to the suburbs. They saying, showed us 12 houses that all could have worked, and we said no to all of them.

• 11:26Speaker 00

  Up, up high Westchester, like, you're down low.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  We went all over.

• 11:29Speaker 00

  All over the map.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  And then the agent on the 12th one said, listen, if this one doesn't work for you.

• 11:33Speaker 00

  I'm gonna kill myself.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  I totally understand, but I, I'm not the guy. I can't help you. Find someone else, or find a different location, but it's, I'm wasting too much time now. Because I'm coming out here, and I've shown you multiple homes that would work. And you're finding reasons that I want you to talk to each other.

• 11:51Speaker 00

  You guys, you guys don't know what you're doing.

• 11:52Speaker 03

  Do you actually really want to move?

• 11:54Speaker 00

  Probably not.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  Right, and the answer is probably not.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  The answer is, I mean, she has asked me, my girl has asked me to go knock on the people's door of the house we sold to and ask to buy it back. And I'm, and I'm like, I probably can't do that. But then I fucking sent a text to the agent anyway, and they said, they're, they would consider it, but you gotta wait till next October, because it's some tax law.

• 12:14Speaker 04

  Well, if you, if you knock on the door and just say, hey, the whole neighborhood just became Jewish, maybe they'll be convinced to sell.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:21Speaker 04

  But it really is, it's like, we gotta launch another crusade to get that house back.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:25Speaker 00

  I mean, but you're gonna get the house back, probably gonna pay more than you bought, than more than you sold it for.

• 12:29Speaker 03

  Try to tell that to a woman.

• 12:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's very true.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  Try to tell that to a woman, say, hey, honey, I made a mistake. The house is twice as much, and the interest rate is three times as much. She would say, buy the fucking house back.

• 12:39H. Foley?

  That's, dude, if you buy the same house again.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  Dude, that is, that is lottery winner trash.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, would I, would I be an all-time Hall of Famer in the RU garbage world?

• 12:49Speaker 04

  You gotta nominate him if he does that.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  And he does that, a Hall of Fame?

• 12:52H. Foley?

  Now, what would you be willing to pay over what you sold it for?

• 12:57Speaker 00

  You gotta think this, this interest rate's coming in about 7%.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  Hundred grand?

• 13:00Speaker 03

  I bought it at 2.8% interest rate.

• 13:03Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ, it's like free money?

• 13:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, I fucked up.

• 13:08Speaker 04

  Even if you wanted to move, you should have rented it out and just kept it.

• 13:10H. Foley?

  Oh, Yanni.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  What do you think the last two years on, I would say if there's seven days a week, five out of the seven, I wake up in the middle of the night sweating because of these decisions.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  I mean, you are. You're something else.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  You're something else.

• 13:23H. Foley?

  But here's the thing, if you don't like the area, or if you're the, and I completely understand what you're saying. Not that I'm from the city, but I'm so ingrained in it now, I, you know, we think about moving out of the city. I just gotta have it around me a little bit.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:36H. Foley?

  And if you're not happy out there in the burbs, even though Staten Island is still in the city, but that was a very suburban area.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:43H. Foley?

  That was a nice, nice area.

• 13:44Speaker 03

  But we were in the burbs.

• 13:45H. Foley?

  The king of Queens house, though.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  You can't, there's gotta be a meet in the middle, so I'm saying, hun, why don't we just rent a dope apartment? I work in the city every day, the kids will love it. My son could still go to high school where he doesn't have to change schools. Let's get a beautiful apartment in the city. And she says no.

• 14:02Speaker 00

  In the city of Manhattan?

• 14:03Speaker 03

  In Manhattan, and she says no.

• 14:04Speaker 00

  You want like a nice one that you see on like suits or something like that?

• 14:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, get a fucking nice one. Get a nice one, but a rental, but a rental.

• 14:11Speaker 00

  Rent it out.

• 14:11Speaker 03

  I'm renting out, I'm not looking to buy right now, but it's not.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  It's not a great time to buy.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  It's not a great time to buy, but the women just don't, they just don't understand that. That's not the language they speak.

• 14:21Speaker 00

  You're not wrong.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  So now you just have to fucking kinda sit here and just deal with it? And just kinda keep saying, I can't afford it. And then it gets to the point where it says, well then just go find the guy who fucking will. I can't do it.

• 14:33H. Foley?

  I mean, forget about the house for a minute, you got some other planning to do. You just popped a question, didn't you?

• 14:37Speaker 03

  That's right, cuz.

• 14:38H. Foley?

  You got that coming up.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 14:39H. Foley?

  What's that looking like, Yanni?

• 14:41Speaker 00

  They're gonna change the venue nine different times.

• 14:43Speaker 04

  Well, it's looking like a lab-grown diamond.

• 14:50Speaker 04

  When you propose after 10 years, you already fucking bought the horse? You get the lab-grown diamond.

• 14:56H. Foley?

  Those things came into fashion at just the right time.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  Well, you put a quarter in the machine and you turn.

• 15:01H. Foley?

  Here you go, sweetie.

• 15:03Speaker 00

  Opening of it now needs another two, three hours.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, I proposed to her, I got the ring at Six Flags.

• 15:10Speaker 00

  Me 400 tickets.

• 15:11Speaker 03

  It's what it is. Yeah, so we're doing that and then, uh, you know.

• 15:14Speaker 00

  Where'd you go for the diamond?

• 15:15H. Foley?

  Where'd you pop the question?

• 15:16Speaker 03

  I don't know. In the house.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  You went to fucking Zales. Where are you thinking? Zales, man. In the house. In the, right there in the house. Monday morning, 7 a.m. Right in front of the kids.

• 15:24H. Foley?

  He called a Palestinian, tried to ask her to marry her back in the old house.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  House. Yeah, can I do that? But no, so.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  It was a beautiful proposal. I, you know, when you have kids, I thought, I thought it was really touching.

• 15:33Speaker 03

  Right, with the kids right in front.

• 15:34Speaker 04

  Somebody filmed it.

• 15:35Speaker 03

  Somebody filmed it. My stepson filmed it. My stepson filmed.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  Because technically he was, he wasn't, you know, you wanted him for your, I mean, he's technically.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  He said, right, right.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:42Speaker 00

  He's probably pushing.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  He was technically working it. He was working the event.

• 15:45H. Foley?

  But it's beautiful. You say, you say in the special, you got, you got, you got three kids. You put them in there.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  Always, always, yeah, always. Yeah, you gotta, gotta include everybody. I'm all, the thing is, for me, I'm all inclusive.

• 15:56Speaker 04

  He's in there with an asterisk.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  Right, right. No, no, no, no, he's in, he's in there. No, here's the thing. Here's the thing. He's fully in. He's fully 100% in as much as the other kids. Just the other kids, there's no way out. He's got a way out.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  Right.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  So you know what I mean? He's fully in, but he could, it doesn't have to be forever with him. My kid's gotta be forever.

• 16:14Speaker 04

  Right.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? So he's got a way out. If he doesn't like me, he can walk away. But we're getting along great. My daughters unfortunately can't leave. I will lock them in the basement like that German guy that locked his daughter in the basement for 20 years.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  Like Ariel Castro.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  That's what I'll do.

• 16:25H. Foley?

  What are we thinking as far as the nuptials? Cause I, you know, I just, I just tied the knot, got married.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  Congratulations.

• 16:30H. Foley?

  Lot, lot of poor financial decisions and that.

• 16:32Speaker 00

  I'm an ordained minister.

• 16:33H. Foley?

  Are you going down the same road?

• 16:35Speaker 00

  I'll do it on a cheap.

• 16:36H. Foley?

  Are you going big?

• 16:37Speaker 03

  No, I don't think we're gonna go big because we've been together. She doesn't want big? No, because we've been together so long, I don't think she wants big. I think, I think if we still own the house, I think actually selling the house is saving me from the big time wedding. Because she's, I'm saying to her, I can't spend all our money on the wedding and you have to pick what's more important to you. And she says the house. So that's what it is. So I think that's why it's better.

• 16:58Speaker 00

  You guys are gonna be one of those couples that gets divorced and remarried like three times.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Just like the house.

• 17:02Speaker 00

  Just do it, get in a fight, go, go down to city hall, lock it back up.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  I'm addicted to losing and getting it back.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  That's where the rush comes.

• 17:08Speaker 03

  Frigani said.

• 17:09Speaker 00

  You gotta stay at the table. You stay at the table.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  You stay at the table.

• 17:11Speaker 00

  Stay at the table, ride it out.

• 17:13H. Foley?

  Destination Vegas, eloping.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 17:16Speaker 00

  City hall.

• 17:16H. Foley?

  Hundred people.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  Listen, the thing is, I only ever leave the. confines of New York City when I have to go work.

• 17:24H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  If I don't have to work, I don't leave the confines of this great city.

• 17:28H. Foley?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  And I, and I very rarely like to leave the confines and the laws of this great nation. I don't leave.

• 17:32H. Foley?

  What about, what about old, what about old school Queens catering hall?

• 17:36Speaker 03

  I would.

• 17:37H. Foley?

  Do it very teen, Tony.

• 17:38Speaker 03

  Astoria, something upscale, nice.

• 17:39H. Foley?

  You know the place in Astoria, Astoria Boulevard?

• 17:41Speaker 03

  Astoria Manor.

• 17:42Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You could, that, that, that's the thing. That's what I was trying to say before, like.

• 17:46H. Foley?

  Waiters all choked up.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  He's done extremely well in his career, like crazy. He's at the top, but his accent and.

• 17:54Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 17:55Speaker 04

  Persona, just don't believe it. It's almost like his voice when it comes out, goes, we don't, we don't belong here. But really, the wedding he would have would be at a catering hall. The guys he's friends with, the firemen and cops, they'd show up, you know, look khakis.

• 18:07H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  With like a gap.

• 18:08Speaker 00

  There'd be a couple jeans, couple of Mets.

• 18:09H. Foley?

  Sterno trays, meatballs.

• 18:11Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 18:12Speaker 04

  A gap button down that's oversized.

• 18:14Speaker 00

  Still tags on it or something.

• 18:15Speaker 04

  Carhartt boots.

• 18:15Speaker 00

  Someone's gonna have a pair of khakis that say like thirty-two, thirty still on, still on the back. He's gonna be doing a Macarano with the tag on.

• 18:22Speaker 03

  Pat Finnegan's gonna have a blue button down, go, blue button down shirt with a tie, and it's gonna have the Mets logo stitched onto the pocket.

• 18:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  That's what it is. That's his good shirt.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 18:30H. Foley?

  Someone's gonna forget to take the size sticker off.

• 18:32Speaker 00

  So you, but like Yanni, Yanni, classier, look classier guy. His, I mean, I didn't, I, I, we weren't tight at the time. I seen it. I seen the pictures. Classy event.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  Couple of people I invited shouldn't have been there.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. Same spot as, uh, same spot as Derek Jeter. Oh, he could cancel.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was like Long Island royalty, you did.

• 18:52Speaker 03

  Big time.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  And he would do Fran Lee's catering hall down on fucking.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  Long Island royalty, oh, he could cancel, and I took an Uber in and out of that place, which most people didn't.

• 19:00Speaker 04

  That's.

• 19:01Speaker 03

  Most people showed up in nice cars. I took a fucking Toyota Camry Uber.

• 19:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, and Ari Shaffir wore fucking Chuck Taylors to a black tie event. He just, that's what happens when you invite Jews at your wedding. Just kidding.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  But when you gotta, you know, take the money, I'm like, hey, hon, we're gonna take the money away from the kids here if we're this fucking party of one day.

• 19:18Speaker 00

  One day party.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 19:19Speaker 04

  You're not wrong, smart.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Let's invest in the house.

• 19:21H. Foley?

  Kip, let's tell them about Aura Frames.

• 19:22Speaker 00

  Oh, shout out to Aura gang.

• 19:24H. Foley?

  Now, we talk about Aura Frames a lot on the show, but we love Aura Frames.

• 19:29Speaker 00

  Great.

• 19:29H. Foley?

  We genuinely do. Let me tell you something, you got Mother's Day around the corner, it's coming up.

• 19:34Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:34H. Foley?

  You wanna get mom, grandma, something nice, hell, even dad, the uncles, everybody, get them an Aura Frame, digital frames, it's right on the counter, you upload pictures, that way they get to keep up what's going on with Jimmy and Johnny and Tommy, how they're doing in Little League, the recital, all that kinda stuff.

• 19:50Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm. Listen, brass tacks, you wanna get these broads off your back? Oh, you want your ma to stop calling you, nagging you, "I never see you, I never hear from you, blah, blah, blah." Hit 'em with an Aura Frame.

• 20:02H. Foley?

  They don't want the tie, or the calendar, whatever, get them an Aura Frame.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  Aura Frame, and then you don't even have to be there, it's like you're talking, and you just upload, "Oh, here we are, we're at the zoo." That grandma ain't gotta come to the zoo, you gotta pay that for that old bird.

• 20:14H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 20:15Speaker 00

  Plus, she likes your chicken tendies, or whatever.

• 20:16H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 20:17Speaker 00

  You're saving money this way.

• 20:18H. Foley?

  Plus, the technology will blow their brain, they wonder what's going on, like, "Oh, my God, he in the house!"

• 20:23Speaker 00

  Uh-huh, right now, you can save the perfect gift that keeps on giving by visiting AuraFrames.com. For a limited time, listeners, get $20 off their best-selling Carver Matte Frames with the code GARBAGE. That's Aura, A-U-R-A, Frames.com, promo code GARBAGE, do it.

• 20:38H. Foley?

  Kip, what do you know about Elite Eye Restore Hair Growth?

• 20:42Speaker 00

  What do I know about it? Hit me, how you doing?

• 20:44H. Foley?

  Calling all you cue balls out there, what are you doing, flying a turkey? What? You crazy? Get Eye Restore, red light therapy, have you growing hair in no time.

• 20:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's clinically proven, uh, solution designed to help you regrow hair with 282 lasers and LEDs. Boosh, boosh, boosh, boosh. Delivering light therapy directly to your scalp. Think of it, think of it as a rejuvenated treatment for all, for your hair follicles, giving you a new look for the spring season, baby. That's what we're talking about. Listen, there's no, uh, there's, uh, there's no beating around the bush, I've been struggling with hair loss for a long time, I wish I took care of it earlier, I did not, and now, so listen, guys, if you're out there and you're struggling a little bit, you're saying a little bit, get on it now with Eye Restore. Uh, in a four-month double-blind, uh, study, dermatologist study, participants grew more hair with Eye Restore laser and LED technology, so you can feel confident buying a system

• 21:40Speaker 00

  With proven results, baby. Give yourself the gift of hair confidence this spring. You don't want to be jumping in a pool with flimsy hair this summer. Get it right. All the broads are gonna be running away. For a limited time only, our listeners get $625 off their I restore elite when you use the code AYG at I restore laser.com. That's 625 off your I restore elite at I restore laser.com with the promo code AYG. Please support our show. Tell them the boy sent you. Hair loss is frustrating. Don't tell me. So don't you don't have to fight it alone with thanks to I restore. Do it.

• 22:09Speaker 04

  Speaking of things that don't make sense.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  Wish I would have talked to you six months ago.

• 22:14Speaker 04

  What the fuck is going on with these coasters on this shit table?

• 22:16Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 22:17Speaker 04

  What do you mean? Were you trying to protect this table?

• 22:19Speaker 03

  Nice table. He talks Raymore Flanagan.

• 22:21Speaker 04

  Tootie doesn't give a shit. I mean, what is, I mean, how redundant is this? I mean, this table is a coaster.

• 22:26Speaker 00

  I don't like, I don't like the disrespect you're throwing at me or the table or my decorating.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  Derek Jeter wouldn't act like this.

• 22:32Speaker 00

  Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, hoity toity fucking Alhanka Castle.

• 22:35Speaker 04

  You didn't pull it? You didn't pull this thing off the street?

• 22:39Speaker 00

  No, what are you talking about? White club delivery.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  I like Raymore Flanagan.

• 22:43Speaker 04

  Making me put a coaster on a Raymore Flanagan?

• 22:46Speaker 00

  It's for the show.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  I'll tell you what, the best piece of furniture I got in my whole goddamn house is from Bob's Discount. Good shit.

• 22:52Speaker 00

  Shout out Bob's Discount.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Shout out Bob's.

• 22:55Speaker 00

  Bob's with that stuff. I've bought a lot of discount furniture. You walk in, you look at something. Go, what's your, what's your zip code? You go, hey, enough with the questions. I'm just here looking. They go, it, it, it looks good. It holds good price, but then it after like three months.

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:10Speaker 00

  It doesn't, yeah, it doesn't have the light.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  Do I know that couch? That the couch from the old house? Yeah, I got that. But then I also got a, um, we use it as our liquor cabinet now, but it's from Bob's. We put the wine in there. We put the nice liquor in there.

• 23:20H. Foley?

  Yeah. You got a liquor cabinet? You got a little bar set up at the house?

• 23:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, definitely. You gotta have one of those. That, that, that's part of that. You got, we got.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  He's got a mini bar in his house. It's called his garage.

• 23:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's just a garage.

• 23:31Speaker 00

  You gotta hunt, you gotta crawl in there, but still.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  It's got an afterthought spot.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  We got a nice two-tier liquor shelves.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 23:38Speaker 04

  You gotta do that to complete the house, right?

• 23:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't have, I need one.

• 23:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, you need.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  Do you ever go home?

• 23:43Speaker 04

  The problem with yours is the alcohol will be empty.

• 23:45Speaker 00

  It don't stay. Ah, my stuff don't, but my stuff don't hang around.

• 23:48Speaker 03

  Do you ever go home?

• 23:49Speaker 04

  Last time we saw you, you fell because there was something wrong with the stair.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, that's right.

• 23:54Speaker 04

  And I said, what stairs were you on? Jack Daniels house?

• 23:57Speaker 03

  He said, I fell, I fell down the stairs. I got hit right in the cirrhosis of the liver.

• 24:02Speaker 00

  I saw you guys on a bad day. I had, I just got out of the hospital.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  I remember. I'm texting you, I'm texting Kippy for 20 minutes. We're talking about you. I said, he goes, what are you doing right now? Wherever I am, I go, what are you doing? He goes, I'm in the hospital. I said, well, we've been talking for 20 minutes.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  And you know kids lie when you go, how are your liver numbers? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, doctor said good.

• 24:21Speaker 00

  I got a 1400.

• 24:22Speaker 04

  When the voice goes, I was pretty good.

• 24:25H. Foley?

  Took a trip to John's, it's manner.

• 24:28Speaker 00

  Swing and a miss.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  Chrissy, when Chris had the apartment in Bay Ridge.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, he's known me through seven houses.

• 24:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, literally.

• 24:36Speaker 00

  That could be two years with you.

• 24:37H. Foley?

  Nice apartment in Bay Ridge, though.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  Thank you, yeah. 6802 Ridge Boulevard, apartment 2K.

• 24:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what it was.

• 24:43Speaker 03

  It's a fucking go-hards.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  And when we.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Take a knock on the door, sold it to nice people.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  When he was buying furniture for it, he was buying furniture, I was his consultant. So we made some bad decisions on the couch.

• 24:53Speaker 00

  You do need a young, so listen, I have, I have been a big fan of History Aines. It was a great podcast, your hiatus definitely helped prepare or propel our career.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  History hiatus.

• 25:07Speaker 00

  Shout out to a lot, a lot of Patreon funds cleared up when you guys went out.

• 25:10Speaker 04

  We could have just went, hey, guys, go listen to, go listen to Are You Garbage?

• 25:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, which they did.

• 25:16Speaker 00

  Shout out to you.

• 25:17Speaker 03

  Shout it out.

• 25:18Speaker 00

  A lot of crossover, a lot of crossover fans, but you do. Very much as he needs a kippy, you need a yon- you need, you, you, you need someone.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:28Speaker 00

  You gotta be on a short rope.

• 25:29Speaker 03

  Gotta be on a short rope.

• 25:30Speaker 00

  And Yanni's at, Yanni understands, another New York kid, he, he.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  He's older, he's, he's wiser.

• 25:34Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Right, yeah.

• 25:35Speaker 00

  In better shape at the moment.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  In better shape at the moment.

• 25:37Speaker 04

  Not really, kid's cut right now.

• 25:38Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm just.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  The thing is.

• 25:39H. Foley?

  You can always tell by his tip.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  He said he's not going to the garage.

• 25:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I've been still working out, though.

• 25:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, he looks good, he's fucking jacked right now.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  I do pushups, pullups, situps every single day.

• 25:48H. Foley?

  In the house?

• 25:48Speaker 03

  In the house, I do it every single day, I put a, I put a pull up bar in my stepson's. I put up a pull up, pull up bar in my stepson's bedroom. So I'll go in there at 5:30 in the morning, I'll just do pullups, and then if he wakes up, he wakes up. If not, I just keep fucking going, sometimes I wake him up with a fart.

• 26:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:01H. Foley?

  Wait, is it in the doorway?

• 26:03Speaker 03

  It's in the doorway in his bedroom, it's the only doorway that fits, because it's a fucking beaten down piece of shit house.

• 26:07Speaker 04

  You can't do this, then again. What are you, Max Cady?

• 26:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. I try, I try to encourage him to get up and make his bed and do pullups with me, but he won't do it. He just tries to sleep, and I, I bang out my 50 pullups, then I go.

• 26:18Speaker 00

  You can do 50 pullups?

• 26:20Speaker 03

  Not in a row, five sets of 10.

• 26:21Speaker 04

  Dude, one is impressive.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  And then I go into, so I do, I do the pullups in.

• 26:25Speaker 00

  You'd have to be the strongest man in the world.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  I do the pullups in his room, this is 5:30 in the morning, I go in his room, first thing I knock out the pullups, then I go downstairs in the living room, I bang out my, uh, pushups, then I go, I have a back room, I go and do my, I got a mat set up there, I do my situps. That's what I do, and I try to get that, bang that all out by 6:15, then we start making coffee, the kid, one kid starts waking up, we start making dinner, I mean, we start making breakfast, heating up the milks for the baby, who wants a fucking tuna fish sandwich, we start doing shit.

• 26:49Speaker 00

  Sure, get it going, the, the house wakes up.

• 26:51H. Foley?

  Now, is that regardless of what time you go to bed, or are you keeping your nights pretty regimented when you're not on the road?

• 26:56Speaker 03

  I'm not a late, unless I got late, late, late spots, I typically go to bed.

• 27:00Speaker 00

  What's a late, late, late spot for you to?

• 27:02Speaker 03

  I mean, no, I'm saying like if I'm on the road and the show starts at 10:30.

• 27:05H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 27:05Speaker 03

  The headline is not going on till 11:15, I might not get back to the room till 1 o'clock in the morning, but if I'm home in the city.

• 27:13H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 27:13Speaker 03

  I almost never, I almost am never awake past 11:00 PM.

• 27:17Speaker 04

  That's what it is when you have kids, and Chris, he's the pioneer of this, I gotta give him credit, I think it's great, 6 o'clock shows.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, but when I do theaters, I do one, if it's one show, 7, if we get lucky enough where we add tickets, 5:00 PM. Comedy clubs?

• 27:30Speaker 00

  You don't go late.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  No, comedy clubs? Cause there, you know, comedy clubs got the mailing list are a bit easier to sell. Five and seven on a Saturday, on Fridays, I gotta eat.

• 27:38Speaker 00

  You're not doing a late Saturday?

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Never.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  I love it.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  I won't do it.

• 27:41Speaker 00

  I guess they don't mind, cause they'll go, we'll have a local showcase at nine thirty or whatever.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Because then guess what? At the comedy club or the theater, I'm out by eight thirty. Now I can go have a nice dinner in San Francisco like a fucking human being.

• 27:50Speaker 04

  He's taking the power back.

• 27:51Speaker 00

  God damn gentleman, he's taking the power back.

• 27:53Speaker 04

  Pioneer.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  It's what it is. You guys voted for it. You made the right choice this November.

• 27:57H. Foley?

  I think about you taking the power back a lot when we talk. When you talked about, you know, that you, you had the social media, you were getting too into it. You pulled back from that a little bit.

• 28:05Speaker 04

  You gotta get off that.

• 28:05H. Foley?

  I respect it.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  You gotta, you gotta, you gotta have, you gotta have rules you live by.

• 28:10H. Foley?

  So when you're doing your spot, when you're lining up your spots in the city, you're, you're, you're concentrating them on, on when you do them. And the rest of the week, you're living like a dad.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  When I text.

• 28:19H. Foley?

  You're doing dinner, going to bed.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  When I text the comedy clubs, when we have to text our availability, I'll say, I'm available Thursday before ten. Wednesday before nine. I don't give them a time. I just say before this. So I don't care how many spots you give me, but I'm not going after nine or.

• 28:34H. Foley?

  So you can do that. I probably wouldn't get a call back.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  No, you can.

• 28:37Speaker 00

  I get the one fifties.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  You, but you know, but you know, you could, you just gotta.

• 28:41H. Foley?

  Start the day early.

• 28:42Speaker 03

  No, well, here's the thing. You can, but it's always, everything in life is one step back, two forward. So when I first did it, I got penalized a little bit.

• 28:49Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  But I just fucking ate it and I stayed afloat. I kept it going. And then, let me remind you of the greatest quote of all time by Winston Churchill that Yannis and I've said many times.

• 28:59Speaker 00

  Get those krauts.

• 29:00Speaker 03

  Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts.

• 29:05H. Foley?

  I love it.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  So that's what you do.

• 29:07H. Foley?

  You hear that punk?

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  It's a good one.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  You piece of shit.

• 29:08Speaker 04

  It's a good one.

• 29:09Speaker 00

  You rich motherfucker.

• 29:10Speaker 03

  Fucking let another real estate agent fire me. I'll throw you in Yannis's little garage.

• 29:14Speaker 04

  He's going like, what's a real estate agent?

• 29:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. He's like, what? Don't you guys just buy cash? What's the mortgage rate?

• 29:20Speaker 04

  My mother, it's just, I just, I don't even know. I just have a place.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:24H. Foley?

  He bought an apartment in Bitcoin, guys.

• 29:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I just have a place.

• 29:26Speaker 03

  I mean, look at how comfortable he's got no shoes on.

• 29:28Speaker 00

  He's crazy.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  He's doing this fucking podcast in socks.

• 29:31Speaker 04

  Yeah. How great was it when you told your mom you actually had a job? I mean, that's all you need to tell her.

• 29:36Speaker 00

  What you don't know about it? He took off his Birkenstocks to, to produce the podcast.

• 29:40H. Foley?

  Where'd you grow up? What city?

• 29:42Speaker 04

  Connecticut.

• 29:42H. Foley?

  Oh, Greenwich?

• 29:45Speaker 04

  I was born there. Yes.

• 29:46Speaker 00

  Oh, Greenwich man.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  That's fucking real money. Oh, that's, that's real money. That's not just made money. That's not just, oh, my dad had a plumbing business and it exploded money. That is.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  Shout out to that kind of money, though.

• 30:00Speaker 04

  You have a portrait of your ancestors in the foyer. Yeah, there's a baker. You have a cousin named Baker. I know all the lineage. You got a coal. Is there a coal in your family?

• 30:11Speaker 03

  That's generational money. Yes.

• 30:13Speaker 04

  Yeah. Did you, do you call your dad father?

• 30:16Speaker 00

  Papa, father?

• 30:18Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  Now, I'll tell you a big trash rule that I learned.

• 30:21Speaker 00

  Hit me.

• 30:22Speaker 04

  This was a move from New York, never living in the country, uh, in the burbs type of.

• 30:28Speaker 00

  Such a New York thing.

• 30:28Speaker 04

  The country. Yeah, it's in the country.

• 30:30Speaker 00

  If you got three blades of grass, you call it the country. I'm out there. It's like you're working a field.

• 30:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, and it doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter where you live. It doesn't matter where you live at all. It could be Westchester, it could be all, but you're upstate.

• 30:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:41Speaker 00

  They're upstate?

• 30:42Speaker 03

  The kid lives upstate. Yeah.

• 30:45Speaker 04

  So.

• 30:46Speaker 03

  Might as well be in Newburgh.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, you ask anyone from Long Island, I mean, they think we live in, like, Canada. Cause they just look at things like, why would you leave Long Island? So if, like, they gotta go anywhere, they're like, why are you going to Canada?

• 30:57Speaker 00

  I need my passport to get up there?

• 30:59Speaker 04

  We're fucking an hour and a fifteen away.

• 31:00Speaker 00

  Dude, I told a, the most New York thing I ever heard, I told a kid, we went up to, like, we went up, like, on a hike outside of, you know, I don't know, like, two hours up, and the kid asked me if we took the one train there. And I was like, dude, it's a fucking mountain. No, with the one.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  M25 run up that way?

• 31:14Speaker 00

  He goes, would you take the one? I was like, what? This guy is, he's like thirty-two years old.

• 31:19Speaker 04

  So this is what I learned, right? I didn't know. I had no idea about this rule, that the community gets upset about this, every community. Uh, we got the blow up pool for the little girls.

• 31:28Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:29Speaker 04

  And we started.

• 31:30Speaker 00

  Doing backyard, front yard on that.

• 31:31Speaker 04

  Well, that, you, you.

• 31:32Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 31:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't know.

• 31:33Speaker 04

  God. I didn't know.

• 31:34Speaker 00

  As the king of the burbs, I know where this is going.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  This guy's grilling in the driveway.

• 31:38Speaker 04

  I had no clue. I had no clue that I was an eyesore on the community.

• 31:42Speaker 00

  That's a backyard thing.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  Cannot do that in the front yard.

• 31:44Speaker 04

  Why? Why is that? We were on the front. We got a nice fucking, I mean, you know, we're hosing it down.

• 31:49Speaker 00

  That's backyard shit, you know? I can't, I can't explain it.

• 31:51Speaker 03

  You can't let other people see that. We, nobody want, we don't want to see you hosing. Giving your kids a bath in the front of your house.

• 31:57Speaker 00

  Yanni's got the per plus.

• 31:59H. Foley?

  Got a lamb on the spit roast.

• 32:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:01Speaker 04

  I was also leaving the.

• 32:02Speaker 00

  You want the.

• 32:03Speaker 04

  I was leaving the boots outside the front door.

• 32:05Speaker 00

  Ah.

• 32:05Speaker 03

  No.

• 32:06Speaker 00

  That's all backyard shit.

• 32:07Speaker 03

  Backyard shit. I knew that. Yeah.

• 32:09Speaker 04

  How do you, why is that?

• 32:10H. Foley?

  You got a side door?

• 32:11Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 32:12H. Foley?

  You got a side door?

• 32:13Speaker 04

  No, we got a back door and front door.

• 32:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's back, that's back, you or a mini garage shit, whatever you want to do.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  I didn't know, I didn't know you're not supposed to use the front lawn.

• 32:20Speaker 00

  Listen, I bought, I bought a.

• 32:21Speaker 03

  It's not for use?

• 32:22Speaker 00

  Nah. No, that's for presentation.

• 32:24H. Foley?

  You want to throw the ball around, you can't put the barbecue in the front, right?

• 32:27Speaker 00

  No.

• 32:28Speaker 03

  What?

• 32:29Speaker 00

  Yanni, you're gonna get deported. Or sent back to Queens.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, they already have meetings. They're like, there's a Greek living on the block now, so just be careful around them.

• 32:37H. Foley?

  Chinatown, buddy.

• 32:37Speaker 00

  I do, I do agree. I mean, I get that it's, in the front yard seems normal. You'd be like, oh, it is more community. Hey, I'm out here.

• 32:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm out here.

• 32:44Speaker 00

  I'm waving, how you doing? You passing by? Cause in the backyard, it's very by yourself, but that's what the suburbs are. Hide your, hide your, hide your seatbelt.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  The suburbs is, is a, is a, is a American invention too. Like most other countries, they don't have that. Everyone lives proximity to the city, whatever. But the suburbs, this is America, baby.

• 33:00H. Foley?

  Long Island, first suburbs, right?

• 33:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, even, even owning.

• 33:03Speaker 00

  There's a Levittown outside of Philly too.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  Owning a home, like how we all say, oh, we gotta own, you rent or you're fucking, got a mortgage. Like in England, they're like, well, I don't know why you would own. Like there's, well, you can own, but they're like, this is not a, that's like not a goal of theirs.

• 33:17Speaker 00

  Dream, yeah, yeah.

• 33:17Speaker 03

  They're like, we can, we're fine renting.

• 33:19H. Foley?

  CQ doesn't own. Colin Quinn, he told us on the show.

• 33:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, he's been rented for years.

• 33:23Speaker 00

  Rent. I bought a, I bought my first car ever, uh, is, was a Chevy Lumina, 1995 Chevy Lumina.

• 33:29Speaker 03

  Shout out Chevy Lumina.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  Shout out, shout, shout out to Lumina. I bought it again, kinda was like a, just I wanted to buy my first car. I think it's funny when people get money, they buy like Porsches and stuff. I'm like, I'll just buy.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  Chevy Lumina.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  A piece of shit car from the 90s.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  Cause there's something like, like guys like you, Philly, New York, you don't believe that this is happening.

• 33:44Speaker 00

  No.

• 33:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's a certain.

• 33:45Speaker 00

  Also, I don't roll in a circle where I can drive, where I can pull up in a Porsche.

• 33:48Speaker 04

  No, I've seen old pictures of you.

• 33:50Speaker 00

  One of my cousins would steal it.

• 33:51Speaker 04

  I've seen old pictures of you. I've seen those old pictures, and let me tell you something. Your life is a fucking miracle.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  I know, I know.

• 33:58Speaker 04

  I mean, miracle and fucking, miracle on fucking Benjamin Franklin Parkway.

• 34:01Speaker 00

  I should be driving a truck.

• 34:02H. Foley?

  Miracle on Broad Street.

• 34:03Speaker 04

  I mean, the trash that this kid. Was?

• 34:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  I mean, have you seen his old pictures? I mean, we're talking about partying in a fucking first floor of a Ramada Inn.

• 34:13Speaker 00

  I was at Days Inn and it was the third floor.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  Fucking trash. Yeah, I mean, these guys, these fucking Wawa Twins are a Philly miracle.

• 34:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 00

  But I bought, so now I'm at my house, I'm at my house in the burbs. Nice joint, you know what I mean? And, uh, neighbor, neighbor's a very nice, very nice, very big home, neighbor does. Very stereotypical suburban family, you know what I mean? Guy's a doctor, she's a, you know, home.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  Stays at home.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  But she's very, in very good shape, very, you know, uh, uh, pretty lady. And I pull up, I'm like, I get the car and it's a, it is a fucking proper piece of shit. And now I was just gonna live in the driveway.

• 34:50Speaker 03

  You see, you see it, he, I'm like, which one is it? He's like, you see the luminous? I'm like.

• 34:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a, it's a tough look. And she's like, oh, what's that? She walked out and I'm like, uh, I bought the first car I ever had, kinda sentimental, you know, like, kind of a bit, I mean, you know, having fun.

• 35:06Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 35:06Speaker 00

  She's like.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  She's got it backed in like a psychopath.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  She went, looks expensive and walked and closed the door. And I was like, ah, well, now I get, she knows there's just gonna be a piece of shit car parked next to her house and they work very hard.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  So what you're gonna see in a couple of weeks is a little thing we call a for sale sign.

• 35:22Speaker 03

  Or a privacy fence.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  And Chrissy, you can move in, we can be neighbors.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll come to.

• 35:26Speaker 00

  I, a little bit of news, I'm also gonna be spending more time down there this summer because my wife is, uh, we're expecting a trial.

• 35:34Speaker 04

  Oh, congratulations.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Believe this guy?

• 35:36Speaker 00

  So the idea, so I'm.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  How far along is she?

• 35:39Speaker 04

  Fucking leaving me high and dry up here.

• 35:40Speaker 00

  Uh, four months.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  Congrats, man.

• 35:44Speaker 04

  You can tell after, what is it, three months?

• 35:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, three months, you could tell.

• 35:47Speaker 00

  So we're gonna be, uh, the idea is, cause we have the apartment here, but with the space and the, just everything is easier in the burbs, cause it's bigger.

• 35:55Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 35:55Speaker 00

  Is we're gonna be, go there and then I go, that might be the last, I don't know if we're ever gonna come back and spend more time here.

• 36:02Speaker 04

  What's the, what's the drive?

• 36:03Speaker 03

  No, you'll come in for work.

• 36:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, what's the drive?

• 36:05Speaker 00

  An hour?

• 36:06Speaker 04

  Not bad.

• 36:07Speaker 00

  Not bad.

• 36:08H. Foley?

  How many, you come in at what, three days a week for this?

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, three, four.

• 36:10Speaker 00

  Two, three days a week.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  Depends on the road schedule.

• 36:12H. Foley?

  I mean, people could do that. I mean, people do that every day.

• 36:14Speaker 04

  Dude, one hour's nothing.

• 36:15Speaker 00

  I just, yeah, I just, once I see myself living there as much, I go, what the fuck am I gonna go back to a one bedroom watching tonight's for?

• 36:21H. Foley?

  Yeah, you're probably not. Well, you can, especially, because it's one, by the way, it's not gonna stop at one.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  No.

• 36:25H. Foley?

  It's probably gonna be two, three.

• 36:27Speaker 04

  I mean, you could use it as a place to cheat on your wife with.

• 36:30H. Foley?

  That's true.

• 36:30Speaker 04

  You guys keep that.

• 36:31H. Foley?

  Yeah, get your head out of your ass.

• 36:32Speaker 04

  Or at least get some hookers.

• 36:34Speaker 00

  I mean, I could also just get a nicer hotel.

• 36:36H. Foley?

  Or you could go to fucking off, 270 Street.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  Take it somewhere nice, take it like a Candlewood Suites or something nice.

• 36:42Speaker 04

  Or you could rent it, you could rent it to Dominicans that are hiding from ice.

• 36:46H. Foley?

  True.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Not me, I'm staying in the story of Queens till they, till they drag me out of the apartment.

• 36:50H. Foley?

  That's what it is.

• 36:51Speaker 00

  Which could be in a couple of days.

• 36:52H. Foley?

  I was gonna say.

• 36:53Speaker 04

  Well, they're not gonna drag him, it's gonna be.

• 36:55Speaker 00

  They'd have to cut the wall open.

• 36:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gonna be, it's gonna be a couple of hefty guys helping out. You can have neighbors coming over, give it a hand.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  No way, I can't do it.

• 37:03Speaker 00

  But that's, how did you, how did you know the feed, I'm sorry to cut, how did you know the feedback of the, the pool in the front yard? Did somebody go, hey, you can't be doing it? Because Verzi's up there, then Verzi go, buddy, you can't be doing it.

• 37:14H. Foley?

  You should've talked to Paul Verzi about that.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  No, this is what Verzi did, this is what Verzi did, right?

• 37:18Speaker 00

  For your mean letter.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  First of all, some strange looks from neighbors, right, hi, some waves with some interesting looks.

• 37:24H. Foley?

  No, is this just in the summer, or is that thing up there now?

• 37:26Speaker 04

  No, no, summer, summer.

• 37:28Speaker 00

  Did you winterize it?

• 37:29Speaker 04

  No.

• 37:32Speaker 04

  But even right now, I got a shovel.

• 37:33H. Foley?

  You're ice skating in it?

• 37:34Speaker 04

  I got a shovel right outside the front door, that's a no-no, right?

• 37:36Speaker 00

  The body, you're nothing, the front should be.

• 37:38H. Foley?

  No, fuck that. The snow shovel.

• 37:40Speaker 00

  Did it snow?

• 37:41H. Foley?

  Off to the side.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's off to the side of the door.

• 37:43Speaker 00

  Is there snow on the ground? Dude, it's 55 yesterday.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  I gotta move it now, that's, I'm trying to learn the rules, so with no snow on the ground, you gotta move it.

• 37:50H. Foley?

  Is there a, is there, is there a half-used bag of rock salt next to it?

• 37:53Speaker 04

  No, no, but, no.

• 37:55Speaker 00

  What a coffee mug in there.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  That's in the garage, that's in the garage, the rock salt's in the garage, yeah.

• 37:58H. Foley?

  Yeah, I say shovel at the front door, fuck them. It's, it's not, it's not like, like an old one, it's a nice shovel, right?

• 38:04Speaker 03

  How about this, I had to take, sorry to cut you off, because you just made me think of it, two weeks ago, I had to take my little daughter right to the doctor, because my nine-year-old daughter, the cup that we use for the salt, for the ice, she filled it up with water and gave it to my fucking daughter.

• 38:15Speaker 00

  It's a lot of, oh, god.

• 38:16Speaker 03

  For her to drink all the rock salt. But it's fine, though. But it's actually, doesn't do anything to you, so if the kid's at home, I mean, you should go to the doctor, but the doctor said it's actually not that big of a deal.

• 38:24Speaker 04

  It's good to know.

• 38:25Speaker 00

  That's what they say when I had cirrhosis of the liver, you don't listen to, don't listen to these quacks.

• 38:28H. Foley?

  That's a Queens doctor, though. They might say something different in the burbs.

• 38:32Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 38:32Speaker 04

  No, so Verzi, yeah, Verzi just, at some point it came up and he didn't say me. He was just like, you know, it's like people who have all their stuff in the front of the house. And then in my mind, I went, oh, is he passively?

• 38:47Speaker 00

  Do you think that was a subtle jab at the poppers?

• 38:50H. Foley?

  He's trying to do you a favor.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  He's like, you know, people that got stuff in the front of the house, next thing you know, they got fucking goats that are throwing on wigs, making believe they're transsexuals, throwing dots at it.

• 38:58Speaker 04

  I don't know if he meant it, but that's what made me think of it.

• 39:01Speaker 00

  Gotcha.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  Oh, you can't have the pool in the front?

• 39:04Speaker 00

  No. It does make, it is more communal, I get that. If you're gonna hang out, you wanna see other, hey, how you doing, Sally, Demi, the whole nine yards.

• 39:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:11Speaker 00

  But that's, that's a backyard thing.

• 39:12Speaker 04

  Alright, it's good to know. So, that's officially a trashy move? Yeah, my aunt and uncle built one on this, put an above-ground pool on the side of the house.

• 39:20Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 39:20Speaker 04

  Luckily, it collapsed like crazy.

• 39:23Speaker 00

  I didn't pull the right permits for that.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  On the side of the house?

• 39:25Speaker 04

  It has a nice neighborhood, too.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  You almost never see that. That's, that's rough. Yeah, shit.

• 39:30Speaker 00

  I was always, I, I, you know, above-ground pools are the trashier pool of, you know, versus an in-ground, but, I mean...

• 39:37Speaker 03

  But you avoid the taxes.

• 39:38Speaker 00

  You look at the price point on them things?

• 39:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:40Speaker 00

  And how quickly they can be up and running?

• 39:42H. Foley?

  And the water's cooler and refreshing.

• 39:44Speaker 00

  It ma, it makes so much fucking sense.

• 39:46Speaker 04

  And if you get a guy to build nice...

• 39:47Speaker 00

  A nice deck around it.

• 39:49Speaker 03

  Build a deck around it, yeah.

• 39:50H. Foley?

  I got the whole, my mom's, hold that, it's all deck. My whole backyard's all deck.

• 39:54Speaker 03

  It's an above-ground pool with a deck, it's an above-ground in-ground.

• 39:57H. Foley?

  That's what it is.

• 39:58Speaker 00

  It's pretty nuts.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  But you get no taxes. They don't tax you on that, right?

• 40:01H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 40:01Speaker 00

  Wait, they tax you for a pool? Oh, it's a permanent fixture?

• 40:04Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:05Speaker 00

  Really?

• 40:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, you get hit. That's the whole point for the above-ground pool.

• 40:09H. Foley?

  So your property tax goes up?

• 40:10Speaker 04

  Everything goes up. You get, your insurance goes up, your property tax goes up.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  Dude, I, I looked at a house in Dobbs Ferry, New York, really nice area, right? Looked at a house and I go, and the house was cheap, right? And, and they said, oh, this house got a very cool feature, believe it or not, it's got an in-ground pool, it's got an indoor pool.

• 40:27Speaker 00

  I like that.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  An indoor pool at that price?

• 40:31Speaker 04

  There it is. There it is, sorry about that.

• 40:33H. Foley?

  Buddy, that ain't you. You're 190 pounds of tight head. I chipped away at it. But you will take the blame.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:39H. Foley?

  Now my insurance is gonna go up.

• 40:42H. Foley?

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• 40:51Speaker 00

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• 40:52H. Foley?

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• 40:59Speaker 00

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• 41:05H. Foley?

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• 41:06Speaker 00

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• 41:10H. Foley?

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• 41:59H. Foley?

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• 42:00Speaker 00

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• 42:02H. Foley?

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• 42:05Speaker 00

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• 42:06H. Foley?

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• 42:30Speaker 00

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• 43:00H. Foley?

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• 43:22Speaker 03

  I did an indoor pool. I said, wow, unbelievable. Looking at this, I'm saying, you know, obviously you don't need something like that. That's probably like a hazard for the kids, but you know, I'm starting to say, man, well, what an awesome thing.

• 43:34Speaker 00

  Jump in a pool in the morning.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  I'm like, I could have, like, this is a house.

• 43:37Speaker 00

  Get your laps in.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  If the price was so low that it was getting people to look, and then I said, what's the catch? He goes, well, it's not a catch. It's just because it's an indoor pool, the taxes went up a little bit. And I said, oh, I said, okay. So, yeah, so it hit me with taxes. Yeah, it's a little bit higher. I said, what is it? He said, $88,000.

• 43:54Speaker 00

  Holy shit.

• 43:55Speaker 03

  A year? A year. I said, excuse me? He said, it's 88. I said, what the, why? He said, because you got the indoor pool.

• 44:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:02Speaker 03

  And I was like, oh.

• 44:03H. Foley?

  So your property taxes every year, you would have to pay 88 grand?

• 44:06Speaker 03

  Here's the thing. Yes.

• 44:07Speaker 00

  Holy shit.

• 44:08Speaker 03

  So, so that's where you start. So obviously that's why the price of the house was so low. And then as soon as they tell you the truth, everybody just goes the other way. It's like, well, obviously that's makes sense now because you can't have a high-priced house and taxes like that for normal people.

• 44:22H. Foley?

  What if you drain it and make it a little skate park?

• 44:24Speaker 03

  That's, well, that's what I said. I said, could there be a fucking, you know?

• 44:27Speaker 00

  A ball pit?

• 44:27Speaker 03

  What if I take it out and it's not an in-ground pool? I'm going to make it a podcast studio. And he, and he said, he said, I

• 44:33Speaker 00

  That's 200 grand a year.

• 44:34Speaker 03

  You have to talk to the city, the town and all that. I was like, I'm not doing any of that.

• 44:38H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 44:38Speaker 03

  But there's, the pools cause a big tax thing.

• 44:40H. Foley?

  Who was the guy who built that? Like a polo player?

• 44:43Speaker 03

  No, a music.

• 44:43Speaker 00

  Probably different, probably different back in the day.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  Yeah. He said, like a old school, like a guy from like the 60s who was a music producer in the 60s. It's like an old school and vintage kind of house.

• 44:52H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 44:53Speaker 00

  They, they seem so nice. Like the house in, which I think is in, I just saw a thing, a thing on Long Island. I think it's from a What is it, meet the fuckers? No, what's the, meet the, meet the parents.

• 45:02H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 45:03Speaker 00

  In that one where they're, I don't know if you remember the.

• 45:04H. Foley?

  Oh, that house?

• 45:05Speaker 00

  That house, that's, that's on Long Island, but that's that old like seventies. An indoor pool, you got some chairs around it. I guess if you're rich, you don't gotta work all day. You could just hop in there in the morning.

• 45:14H. Foley?

  The mold factor though.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  I know that, I would never, even if I could afford it, I would never want an indoor pool in my house. I don't want that.

• 45:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 45:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, unless you go with the salt water.

• 45:23H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 45:24Speaker 00

  Salt water.

• 45:24H. Foley?

  Salt water, just put it in the front yard.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  And salt water pool, my friend who's a doctor came over when I was living on Staten Island.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  We lived on Staten Island, had everyone over in the house. We made it a salt, that's another thing we did. We converted from chlorine to salt water, then salted.

• 45:35Speaker 00

  Classy move.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  We did all these things. We had a beautiful salt water pool. It's insane what I did. But we have a, we had a salt water pool. And, um, and so I was there, my friend who's a doctor was over there with his kids. We're going to the pool all day and then he texts me, goes, hey, by the way, is your pool salt water or chlorine? I said, oh, it's salt water. Why? I said, you okay? And he goes, yeah. He goes, now me or the kids don't have to take a bath. Tonight. And I was like, what do you mean? And he goes, salt water, natural skin. You don't, naturally bathed the skin. You don't have to take a bath.

• 46:01Speaker 04

  And then you were like, but I pissed in it.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 46:03Speaker 00

  But I peed in it.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:06H. Foley?

  So that's a little tip from an actual medical doctor.

• 46:09Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 46:10H. Foley?

  Salt water pool is just like a big bathtub.

• 46:11Speaker 00

  I'm not quoting any medical doctor. You're quoting, also you could've just said doctor, the fact that you're going medical doctor. Means, uh, means the qualifications are a little sketchy.

• 46:19Speaker 03

  He works in the city, he's a secretary in the city on D.

• 46:23H. Foley?

  Like, that's a doctor to me.

• 46:24Speaker 04

  That's what you hear somebody say.

• 46:25Speaker 03

  So we're good for the week there.

• 46:25H. Foley?

  He drives an ambulance.

• 46:26Speaker 04

  Yeah. I started a po, uh, audio podcast program. You're like, alright, that's, you don't know what you're doing.

• 46:34H. Foley?

  Listen, while we have yous here.

• 46:36Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 46:36H. Foley?

  Uh, we wanted to ask, uh, some New York, both New York kids. Hardcore New York kids.

• 46:42Speaker 00

  Yes, sir.

• 46:42H. Foley?

  Brooklyn, Queens. We had some New York etiquette questions that we wanted to run by you guys.

• 46:47Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:47H. Foley?

  If we could.

• 46:48Speaker 00

  Absolutely.

• 46:49H. Foley?

  I'll kick it off first. You're walking down the street with your lady. All right, is she on the inside or is she on the outside?

• 46:56Speaker 04

  Inside. That, if I'm walking on the street and my girl's on the outside, I know this now, but in the beginning of our relationship, I would just pick up she's angry. And then it would be because, you know, she's on the outside and I'm on the inside and she would be like, "You're not protecting me." So you gotta be on the, girl has to be on the inside, guy has to be on the outside. I just do it secondhand nature now.

• 47:18H. Foley?

  You'll do the switch?

• 47:20Speaker 04

  Have to. Yeah. Uh, my wife's from Long Island, so we're never walking anywhere.

• 47:24Speaker 00

  I was gonna say.

• 47:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:25Speaker 00

  She's in the passenger seat.

• 47:26Speaker 04

  She's in the passenger seat. She's got her seatbelt on, but I don't even know if we've ever walked. Yeah.

• 47:31Speaker 00

  More than like, yeah, on the driveway to get that mail or whatever.

• 47:34Speaker 04

  Maybe to the restaurant. I don't remember who's first. We go from the restaurant back to the living room and we just sit in a cul-de-sac.

• 47:39H. Foley?

  Yeah, real quick, that's a side, side note. This is a contention with us, with, with, with me and my wife. When you're walking into the restaurant, all right, you have the reservation and stuff like that. Do you walk in first or do you open the door for her and let her in? And what did they prefer? Is this a thing? Cause my girl doesn't like to walk in first, but I look like an asshole, opening the door and walking in with her behind me.

• 48:01Speaker 04

  I agree with you.

• 48:02Speaker 00

  You gotta let, you open the door, they go in.

• 48:04Speaker 04

  She doesn't wanna talk to the hostess though. No, she needs to learn the etiquette. You open the door, she walks in, she steps aside, in your case, way to the side.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  She takes cover.

• 48:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then she takes cover. And then you walk in, then she walks behind you and you say the name, cause the reservation's in her name, then you gotta grow a fucking dick. Reservation's gotta be in the guy's name. Right, true. Yeah, and then you walk first from there.

• 48:28H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 48:29Speaker 04

  But the initial door open is definitely let her through, but then she's gotta step to the side and let the man through.

• 48:33H. Foley?

  Chrissy, you concur?

• 48:34Speaker 03

  I say I go in, I let the girl, I let her in first.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  And then she has, are Puerto Ricans allowed here?

• 48:40Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly. I go, I let her in first, I tip the guy, I tip the M A T D, letting Puerto Ricans.

• 48:46Speaker 00

  Sorry for the noise.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  So, so, I, yeah.

• 48:49Speaker 04

  It's gonna be a little louder in here.

• 48:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 48:53Speaker 04

  You guys allow boomboxes in here?

• 48:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, usually, usually I go in first because she's tying up the pit bull outside the restaurant. So, so, I, I go in, I go in first. What I do, I'm sorry, I let her in first, but then what I do is I scurry past her, I catch up. So I let her go in first and then I sprint to the thing and I say, "Party of two for De Stefano."

• 49:13Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 49:13Speaker 03

  Well, actually in my case, usually when we go out, it's party of 19 for De Stefano.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  For Rodriguez.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  It's me and her entire family.

• 49:20H. Foley?

  Are you picking up the check?

• 49:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:21Speaker 03

  I mean, I can't tell you, there hasn't been a time where anyone else has even ever reached for their wallet. It's like, they don't have arms, so I pay for that.

• 49:29Speaker 00

  Real alligator arm type shit?

• 49:30Speaker 03

  No, no, no, they're actually great people. I offer to pay.

• 49:33H. Foley?

  What if it pulls out your wallet?

• 49:35Speaker 03

  No, you know what it is, because a lot of times when I go out with her family, it's amazing, they're awesome. We go to Spanish restaurants, they don't fucking beat you over the head, Spanish restaurants.

• 49:42Speaker 00

  Not our cheap.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  I could take our whole family on a party of ten, and they usually order for the table, her mom's great, she orders for the table, they know how to like, you know, really, like, everybody eats well, and they order big things, so I'm only paying a couple hundred bucks for a party of ten, it's not bad.

• 49:55H. Foley?

  I would assume her mom's probably pretty fire in the kitchen.

• 49:58Speaker 03

  Oh my god, it's unbelievable. It's literally unbelievable. I remember, for a while, my stepson wasn't eating meat. Like, he just, he didn't want to eat meat, something with animals, whatever, and so he would come out, you know, when she would come over and like, watch the kids, she would slip meat into his rice. And he would have no idea. I was like, you know, like, literally, you're like, breaking like, a moral practice, and she was like, he needs to get protein.

• 50:19Speaker 00

  He ain't wrong.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:20H. Foley?

  Do you come home sometimes, and there's something just going on the stove?

• 50:23Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, there's always, there's always something simmering.

• 50:25H. Foley?

  Really?

• 50:25Speaker 03

  When her mom's there, yeah.

• 50:26H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 50:28Speaker 03

  And what it is too, you know what it is about her too, her mom's very old school, and it's just like a generational thing. It's just because like, I'm the man, and I'm, you know, yes, I work, you're right, but I mean, we do comedy, fucking running around. She'll always, I walk in, I walk in, she'll say, oh, hi sweetie, I'll say hi, and she goes, every time, she goes, there's a plate for you in the oven. She puts the plate in the oven, and it's just there, there's like, warm food for me.

• 50:52H. Foley?

  Little tinfoil on it?

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Doesn't matter how hungry I am, if she's awake, and then she's, oh, I put a plate for you in the oven. Or in the microwave, it's there.

• 50:59Speaker 00

  Not bad.

• 51:00Speaker 03

  It's what it is.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  I think, I think that, uh, that family only got with Chris because he was friends with me.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:06Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:07Speaker 04

  Because they're big, yeah, I mean.

• 51:08Speaker 00

  Get free tickets to the Maurice show.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  The only friend I have, whose family just wanted pictures with me as soon as they met.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  That, not only that, and then they wanted her, and tell them what they wanted, my girl's mom wanted, tell them.

• 51:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, she had a nice ashtray that she was into.

• 51:21Speaker 03

  Ashtray.

• 51:22Speaker 04

  She wanted me to sign the ashtray.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  He signed her ashtray, is that classy?

• 51:26Speaker 00

  Oh, god.

• 51:27Speaker 03

  And she still has it, she has an ashtray that's signed by Maurice. So that she won't dump it.

• 51:30Speaker 04

  Yeah. True story. True story.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  She won't ask you.

• 51:33Speaker 04

  She came out of the house, I was in the car, she came out of the house with the ashtray, she went and got the ashtray, and she was hoping that me and the ashtray would be together so that I could sign it.

• 51:42Speaker 00

  What, is there, gee, I mean, that's what I get, picture Yanni with a candle in front of it. Is there anything, what's the meaning behind the ashtray?

• 51:49Speaker 04

  She uses it a lot.

• 51:50Speaker 03

  She uses it a lot and she just wanted him to sign the ashtray and she, and he did.

• 51:53Speaker 00

  I mean, that's bonkers, I love it. Uh, all right, let's say you're at a pizza shop, you know, in a neighborhood joint, and you want a slice of pepperoni. Do you point at the slice you, is it, is it, is it okay to call out the slice you want and go, give me that slice?

• 52:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:09Speaker 00

  You okay with that?

• 52:10Speaker 03

  I'll say.

• 52:10Speaker 00

  It's a very New York thing.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  I'll say, yeah, I'll say that, I'll say, you know, obviously if it's, if it's Pete's regular slice, I'll just say, can I get a regular? That's it, not a fucking plain slice with cheese or anything.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  With cheese, that's exactly how you know somebody moved to the city.

• 52:22Speaker 00

  We say, well, in Philly, it's, I grew up as plain, let it, you know, you get a plain, slice a plain, that's what it was.

• 52:28Speaker 03

  Say that, well, I would never, nobody would say slice a plain, I would say, just give me a regular, give me a regular, or give me a Sicilian, which is, you know, one of the square ones, and then if, if it's a pepperoni, say pepperoni, but then sometimes they have like these mystery slices, I'll just say, give me one of those.

• 52:40Speaker 00

  Give me one, and two of them?

• 52:41Speaker 03

  And two of them, and not.

• 52:43H. Foley?

  When it comes to the Sicilian, are you saying, give me a corner, give me a middle, give me, give me a side?

• 52:48Speaker 00

  That's very normal in New York.

• 52:49H. Foley?

  And what is your preference?

• 52:51Speaker 04

  Um, I like a middle.

• 52:52H. Foley?

  You like middle?

• 52:53Speaker 04

  I like a nice fluffy middle, yeah.

• 52:55Speaker 00

  That's the Greek in them, that ain't, yeah.

• 52:56Speaker 03

  I, I mean, I like, I like a corner, cause I'm an respectable unit.

• 53:00Speaker 00

  Give me a corner.

• 53:02Speaker 03

  But I respect it.

• 53:03Speaker 04

  It's a Sicilian.

• 53:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:04Speaker 04

  Sicilian.

• 53:05Speaker 00

  Let me get a corner Sicilian.

• 53:06Speaker 04

  Can I get a regular, or you could go, can I get a slice? If you say, can I get a slice, they know what you mean, it's a plain slice.

• 53:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, slice, yeah, I mean, we're gonna get pizza on the walk.

• 53:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, now I want pizza.

• 53:14H. Foley?

  When Yanni, when Yanni says, when we ask him, what do you, the first time we were on the show, we asked him, like, what do you like, a plain slice? I hear that in my head every time I get a piece of pizza.

• 53:23Speaker 03

  Nobody eats pizza like this guy, he can, I've seen him eat eight, nine in a, in a sitting, easy.

• 53:27H. Foley?

  It just makes me hungry.

• 53:28Speaker 04

  It's really true, and you said it the best, funniest way, he said, you eat an alarming amount of pizza.

• 53:33Speaker 00

  Alarming.

• 53:34Speaker 03

  It's the word I used.

• 53:35H. Foley?

  Have either you speaking of pizza been to Chrissy Pizza's, Chrissy's Pizza over in Greenpoint?

• 53:39Speaker 03

  No.

• 53:40Speaker 04

  Good?

• 53:41Speaker 00

  Chrissy Pizza, shout out to them. A buddy of ours now, but a fan of the show, originally how we introduced.

• 53:46H. Foley?

  An artist.

• 53:46Speaker 00

  He, uh, he started off making them during the pandemic in his, in his apartment in Queens. Action Bronson somehow, he made some buzz, Action Bronson found him, made it, and now he like blew up. And he's got his own joint out there. It's fucking.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  Shout out Chrissy's Pizza.

• 53:59H. Foley?

  Boys, you will love it.

• 54:02Speaker 00

  Chrissy, hit them up, you hit up Chrissy and he'll go.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  Chrissy Pizza.

• 54:04Speaker 00

  He'll go, hey, uh, it's very, he'd be like, I can get you, you gotta come pick it up at three. No slices. That's their thing. No slices.

• 54:10H. Foley?

  Pies.

• 54:10Speaker 00

  Get pies. He does three or four different kinds of pies.

• 54:12H. Foley?

  Unbelievable.

• 54:13Speaker 00

  Looks good. They're great.

• 54:14H. Foley?

  Ooh, yummy yummy in my tummy.

• 54:16Speaker 00

  You gotta go in, I just did it. You gotta go in, they would say, hey, I'm picking up for Chris or whoever, like he'll have the whole, whole call in or he'll be there. You gotta take care of the staff, boom, hit the staff. Hit them all, hit them all, hit them heavy.

• 54:26Speaker 04

  What do you mean, you gotta hit them?

• 54:28Speaker 00

  I, no, he greases them.

• 54:30Speaker 04

  You grease the staff?

• 54:30Speaker 03

  Grease them all in, but so they give you the pizza.

• 54:31Speaker 00

  I grease everybody. I grease them heavy. I gotta text eight and have to do that. The, the boys appreciate it. I said, hey.

• 54:36Speaker 04

  Wait, you tipped, you tipped the pizza guys?

• 54:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:39H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 54:40Speaker 00

  Dude, first of all, there's some.

• 54:40Speaker 04

  You tipped pizza guys?

• 54:41Speaker 00

  Of course. It's also a hookup. There's like a three hour wait.

• 54:45H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 54:45Speaker 00

  And I get it. He texts me, just go, your, your pies will be ready right at three.

• 54:48H. Foley?

  Oh, okay. I thought like in a tip jar. He went that one. He's acting like he's Joe Pesci.

• 54:52Speaker 00

  I just said it went one time.

• 54:53H. Foley?

  Yeah, he was describing it that way. You were describing.

• 54:55Speaker 00

  You guys seem a little jealous of me.

• 54:58Speaker 03

  I'll tell you what, one of the biggest honors of my entire life, especially a kid from Queens. There's a restaurant in Queens on Metropolitan Avenue called Dee's Pizza. Shout out Dee's Pizza on Metro, one of the best, I think the best food in the neighborhood. They named the pizza after me, to Chrissy Dee's. It was literally like, that's when you feel like, okay, I'm doing something.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  We also have, uh, in Bay Ridge, we have the Chicken Cuslet.

• 55:19Speaker 03

  We have a Chicken Cuslet sandwich named after us. That's how you know.

• 55:22H. Foley?

  Either you have your picture on the wall at a pizza place.

• 55:25Speaker 00

  He does.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  I got mine, I had a big one, Prince Street Pizza.

• 55:27Speaker 04

  Huge. That's why I think like.

• 55:29Speaker 03

  But it says History Hyenas though. You just weren't there.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  No, no, it doesn't. I think it's just you.

• 55:33Speaker 03

  No, it says Chrissy D. History Hyenas.

• 55:34Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 55:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:35Speaker 04

  Well, look, then even, um, it's not a picture of me, but I'm done. My whole goal was to be up in a pizza place. I mean, that's huge.

• 55:42Speaker 00

  Johnny's in a dry cleaner, the new Rochelle.

• 55:44Speaker 04

  That's huge.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:45H. Foley?

  Travolta's got a picture in every pizza place in the city.

• 55:47Speaker 03

  That's what it is. That's a big, big, big moment.

• 55:49Speaker 04

  I always wonder like Italians who get upset about. About like the stereotypes of everyone calling the mafia and stuff. It's like, yeah, well, maybe if not every Italian restaurant had every single mob actor

• 56:00Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 56:01Speaker 04

  in the hallway to the bathroom. I mean, you guys are doing the stereotype to yourself.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe.

• 56:05Speaker 04

  He's the owner with Chaz Palmetteri and then he's sitting there with fucking puss, big pussy from Supremo.

• 56:10Speaker 00

  Yeah. They'll have that Last Supper of all of them drawn together.

• 56:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like.

• 56:14Speaker 00

  It's like Scarface.

• 56:14Speaker 03

  Maybe, maybe if, if the best pizzeria on Staten Island wasn't named Goodfellas.

• 56:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:18Speaker 03

  That's literally what it's called.

• 56:20Speaker 04

  Yeah. You go to Uncle Vinny's, it's a guy with a Tommy gun in the back of the fucking thing. Oh, why are you stereotyping this to these monsters?

• 56:26Speaker 00

  You know, we're not all in the mob.

• 56:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then meanwhile, it's fucking bullet, the fake bullet holes behind your head at Uncle Vinny's.

• 56:31Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 56:32Speaker 03

  This guy's serving penny vodka that he's making in the back to the customers like it's his known as house.

• 56:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like, maybe you, maybe you guys are owning that stereotype a little bit.

• 56:41Speaker 00

  Sure, that's a good point. I never thought about it that way.

• 56:43H. Foley?

  That's good.

• 56:44Speaker 00

  Um, go.

• 56:44H. Foley?

  Yanni, Yanni touched on this a little bit, when you were both in the city at the apartment, were you okay, or do you think it's okay to put the shoes outside of the apartment door?

• 56:55Speaker 04

  No, not an apartment building.

• 56:56H. Foley?

  No?

• 56:57Speaker 04

  No.

• 56:57Speaker 00

  That's your front yard, though.

• 56:59Speaker 04

  That's great, I know, but it's.

• 57:00Speaker 00

  Yanni, that's your front yard.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  It's a communal, it's a communal hallway.

• 57:03H. Foley?

  That's a gentleman's answer.

• 57:04Speaker 04

  When I see that, I know Chinese live in that apartment.

• 57:06Speaker 03

  A hundred percent.

• 57:07Speaker 04

  I know, a hundred percent is a Chinese family there.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah.

• 57:09Speaker 04

  That's it, that's all I know.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  It's also communal space and, you know, we've all, you know, we all grew up in apartments. It's like, I also can't trust that the people in the apartments aren't gonna take a swipe at my shoes. Okay, they're probably not gonna steal them outside my door in the suburbs, but they might steal them outside my apartment because we haven't made it yet. We're living in the apartment still.

• 57:25Speaker 04

  The only time where there's, you know, there's, every rule has an exception is like if it was snowing outside.

• 57:30Speaker 00

  Sure, your wet boots or something like that. And then you get maybe overnight till the morning, that's all you get.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:35Speaker 04

  I see people with, with open umbrellas out in front of it and I'm like, that's.

• 57:39Speaker 00

  To dry out, yeah.

• 57:40Speaker 03

  Oh, that's another thing, my girl, well, she walked out of two houses that work perfect because they didn't have coat closets. As soon as you open the door, she's like, I'm not putting, I'm not gonna live in a house where I have to walk down the hallway to the coat closet.

• 57:51Speaker 04

  I respect that.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. She's like, because the kids are gonna, the house is gonna be a mess, I'm gonna get angry. There's not enough room to even build a coat closet, we can't buy this house.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  One, one other.

• 57:59Speaker 03

  I tried to put up a little fucking shed in the, in, inside the house, she won't have that either.

• 58:03Speaker 04

  One caveat, if you have the floor to yourself, you know those apartment buildings where you have the floor to yourself, it's like apartments on that way.

• 58:08Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:09Speaker 04

  Then you can do it. Still looks gross.

• 58:11Speaker 00

  That's, that's still your property.

• 58:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it's your property.

• 58:13Speaker 03

  How about this, my neighbor across the hallway from me in the apartment, I used to live in 6802 Ridge Boulevard, they used to leave their bicycle outside their door.

• 58:20Speaker 00

  That's crazy, people do that.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  Bad, big problem.

• 58:22Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 58:23Speaker 03

  I didn't care, but the super would get angry, would get these passive aggressive emails, do not leave your bicycle out, the fire department will give us ticket.

• 58:30Speaker 04

  He was Russian?

• 58:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:31Speaker 00

  That was his Asian accent.

• 58:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was it, yeah, he was from, uh, New Jersey, is that?

• 58:36Speaker 00

  Uh, I got one, you're trying to, you're on a one-way street, you're trying to parallel park, you're having trouble, you're blocking traffic, how many attempts until you gotta give it up?

• 58:45Speaker 04

  Good question, Chrissy, I've never-

• 58:47Speaker 00

  Or is there a time limit?

• 58:48Speaker 04

  Dude.

• 58:48Speaker 00

  Like you get thirty seconds, or what, what is it?

• 58:50Speaker 04

  This is gonna be a tough question for him, I know him well, I mean, he's probably the best parallel parker I've ever fucking seen in my life.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  There's nothing in my-

• 58:56Speaker 04

  It's crazy.

• 58:57Speaker 00

  Really?

• 58:57Speaker 04

  It's fucking nuts.

• 58:58Speaker 00

  Chrissy, quick parks?

• 58:58Speaker 03

  Do you know how like, it's like Wayne Gretzky-

• 59:01Speaker 00

  Dude, that's the autism kicking in.

• 59:03Speaker 03

  Dude, I'm doing-

• 59:03Speaker 00

  He's working the angles.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  Bro, I'm doing, I'm doing the arenas in parallel parking lots. I'm, I'm literally, I'm talking about, my blood pressure is the lowest it is all day.

• 59:13Speaker 04

  He's a, he's three move Chrissy.

• 59:14Speaker 00

  Really?

• 59:15Speaker 04

  It's boom, and tightest spaces I've seen, and he'll say it before, he just goes, and you know when someone usually brags you, like, I don't know if he's gonna get in this, he'll say, he's like, I don't know, I was born with the gift of just being able to do this.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  I could do it.

• 59:27Speaker 04

  I've seen him fucking split hairs getting in.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  I could do it.

• 59:31Speaker 04

  It's crazy.

• 59:31Speaker 03

  Righty and lefty too, it doesn't matter.

• 59:33Speaker 00

  Don't let him go back, play both sides of the ball.

• 59:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, how did that happen, you just had a natural talent?

• 59:37Speaker 03

  I think just growing up on, you know, streets that were from fucking colonial America in Ridgewood, that narrow, and I was just able to do it. And I never, I, I just know the angles, I'm very good at spatial recognition, I know exactly how many to the centimeter what I have before I'll hit the car behind me or in front of me, I could do it with cameras, no cameras, turn around, not turn around.

• 59:57Speaker 00

  You do this, you do this move, you look like that.

• 59:58Speaker 03

  I could, I, I don't, yes, that's what, I don't rely on the cameras, I don't need the cameras.

• 1:00:03Speaker 00

  You're more of a feel guy.

• 1:00:03Speaker 03

  I don't-

• 1:00:04Speaker 00

  He feels it.

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  I've never seen anything like it, it's actually sort of like an autistic special power that I don't understand.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11H. Foley?

  The real skill on that is knowing exactly how far-

• 1:00:13Speaker 04

  To go up on the other car before you turn in.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  It's easy for me, I just eyeball mirror, side mirror to side mirror. That's where you start and then you start cutting the wheel when the crease of the in between the, the front door and the, and the back door. That little, you know, you know, basically the car gets split in two, that's when you start hitting the, hitting the wheel. Yeah, that's what it is. It works like a charm.

• 1:00:33H. Foley?

  To answer your question for me.

• 1:00:34Speaker 00

  He also memorizes all the license plates on the block too.

• 1:00:37Speaker 04

  I get embarrassed, so I just, I'll try it like twice.

• 1:00:41Speaker 00

  And if you don't.

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  And then I'll get embarrassed and just say in my head, it's too tight and to just pull out. Even though if I like, even if there's plenty of space, if I do twice and there's people waiting, I'm pulling out.

• 1:00:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I remember.

• 1:00:50Speaker 00

  I was leaving anyway.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm leaving anyway. You remember you used to have the car that had like FDNY plates somehow, remember? Wasn't there like a thing you had like an FDNY sticker?

• 1:00:58Speaker 04

  No, no, no, you just, you thought, you just said that I had a white BMW who said it looked like I was the wife of a firefighter.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it looks like a fireman's wife's car and the way he would park, I was like, this is like a wife of a fireman.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  Like somebody's like.

• 1:01:10Speaker 00

  Go around.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Colleen, it's Colleen.

• 1:01:12Speaker 04

  Go around, what the fuck is wrong with you?

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  Eddie, Eddie's probably at the firehouse, let Colleen put me in, it's Yanni.

• 1:01:18Speaker 04

  Fuck you, go around asshole.

• 1:01:23Speaker 00

  Uh, there's also the thing too, you get in, even if you're not fully in, just get in enough to the traffic can pass.

• 1:01:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:30Speaker 00

  Right, and then you can take another shot, but you gotta.

• 1:01:32Speaker 04

  Sometimes I've left it like that. Sometimes I've been like, I don't know if I can make this last cut and I just leave it with the wheel out.

• 1:01:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Speaker 04

  Like, uh, yeah, I just do it.

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  You know what, you know what I do, you know what I hate? And even though I have, you know, I, I am good at, but I hate when like an old timer guy, you'll be parallel parking a tight spot and they stop and start looking at you. Start looking at the car and watching you.

• 1:01:52Speaker 00

  Caught it, caught it.

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  I'm like, come on dude, I don't want a fucking audience.

• 1:01:55H. Foley?

  I do like to watch them at distance though.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  These tickets on StubHub?

• 1:02:00Speaker 04

  Well, you know, sometimes I've done, I gotta admit, sometimes I've seen a spot that's so tight, I've stopped to see if the guy will do it.

• 1:02:05Speaker 03

  Guy could do it, yeah.

• 1:02:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:06Speaker 00

  Dude, I watched a bus, uh, going down Bedford Avenue in Brooklyn. It was so tight, it was so tight and there was, there was an ambulance double parked or something and he inched, inched, inched. He pulled, he wreathes out, he's pulling them both mirrors in.

• 1:02:19Speaker 03

  I believe it.

• 1:02:19Speaker 00

  Inching, in, bus full of people, inching, inching, inching. Gets through the whole block as was watching and then everybody just went.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  Clapping, I know it dude.

• 1:02:26Speaker 00

  This is the most New York shit I've ever seen.

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  You know what's another thing I know too, I know when someone's trying to, if I'm looking for a spot and someone else gets the spot, I'll know off the first cut of the wheel.

• 1:02:35Speaker 00

  If they got it or not.

• 1:02:36Speaker 03

  If they're gonna get it, and then even furthermore, I know that they're not gonna try again.

• 1:02:39Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  So sometimes I'll know this guy's gonna get it, but sometimes I could tell off how bad that first cut was. They have, I mean, a 5% or less chance of attempting again, and then I swoop in.

• 1:02:48H. Foley?

  You ride it out.

• 1:02:49Speaker 00

  I call it, I call it applying pressure. If I see them waiting to get into a spot and I know it's tight and I don't think they got the chi, if I think it's a Yanni in front of me.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:56Speaker 00

  I'll fucking pull up and wait behind you. I'll go, let's see, you got eyes on you, apply some fuck, put the heat in the kitchen on you.

• 1:03:02H. Foley?

  Yeah, he got the curlers in his hair.

• 1:03:05Speaker 00

  Come around.

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  When my wife first moved to the, we lived together in Brooklyn, she's from Long Island, I don't think she ever.

• 1:03:12Speaker 00

  You guys live in that apartment where the studio is?

• 1:03:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't think she ever parallel parked in her life, so I would actually have to get out of the passenger seat and finish it for her. For a while, and she just couldn't do it. Yeah, she just couldn't. I mean, a lot of people who live in the burbs, they just can't do it.

• 1:03:28Speaker 00

  They just never, I mean, the one thing that we, we talk about now is like, I have a spot now because my car got stolen, so I'll do a spot. I have like a garage, but before I would have to, we, me and my wife would get back from the, wherever we were, and then I'd start looking for parking. And like, I just have memorized the spots and the best way to go around my neighborhood to look for the spots. And she'd be like, we'd be pulling up on, it's like clearly a fire hydrant, it's been a fire hydrant for fucking six years we've been living there. And she's like, oh, right here, right here. And I'm like, lady, you gotta get out of the car. Like, this is a man's job, I can't do this with you. You're calling out bad spots.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  I love that your car got stolen by probably one of the fans of the show.

• 1:04:04Speaker 00

  Sure. Shout out to Kia boys.

• 1:04:06Speaker 04

  Where'd you get taken from?

• 1:04:07Speaker 00

  The Kia boys got me. You know the Kia boys? Yeah. No?

• 1:04:09Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:04:10Speaker 00

  They'd be right up your alley. A bunch of young, there's a defect in Kias and Hyundai's that they can just start it with, with an iPhone or, and a USB cable. And so that's what they do. And they just steal them, the Kia boys, they just steal them and they just, there's this full, we found the kids. I got in the back of the cop car, we drove to the fucking, they were like, oh, it might be down here.

• 1:04:27Speaker 03

  Cause you were tracking it? Like you could track your car?

• 1:04:29Speaker 00

  They tracked it, cause they drive by and take pictures of all the parked cars. So I gave my license plate, they're like, oh, this is under the G W B. So the cop was like, hop in. So I just got in the back, we drove, and there was four kids. They were like smoking like, you know. K2 something. They're all just in there all fucked up. They were 13 to 16.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  So you got your car back then?

• 1:04:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, which is nuts. They just go.

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  They didn't even break it. They didn't do anything to it.

• 1:04:50Speaker 00

  No, they smashed the windows. They're just in there just. Gee, just fucking around.

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  Did they get arrested? The cops arrest them?

• 1:04:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, two kids got out the back. They got two and they were like, they'll be out today. They're like, they're minors. They'll be, these aren't enforceable charges. They'll, they'll be out today.

• 1:05:04Speaker 03

  That's what it is.

• 1:05:05Speaker 00

  But they just go, that's your car.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:07Speaker 00

  On the side of the road, windows smashed, everything. They go, we checking for guns? If there's no guns, it's yours.

• 1:05:11Speaker 03

  Just, so you have to just drive it home with the windows smashed?

• 1:05:13Speaker 00

  I had to jump my car with a fucking screwdriver and drive it and then go find parking.

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  And you didn't miss your spot. You still showed up at New York Comedy Club for your 8pm.

• 1:05:24Speaker 00

  I did to make my $40.

• 1:05:25Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

  On that note, if you see some activity in the city, somebody's getting mugged or something like that, are you stepping in? Are you making a move?

• 1:05:32Speaker 00

  He will. I will.

• 1:05:34Speaker 03

  We almost did it in Bay Ridge. Remember we saw that guy screaming at his girlfriend? We've got, we all, the whole neighborhood started to send on this kid, but then she, the girl, told us to get away.

• 1:05:43Speaker 00

  I had that happen as well.

• 1:05:44Speaker 03

  The girl was like, do not, I don't want you guys here.

• 1:05:46Speaker 00

  I had that happen. The Mummer's Parade, a very famed trashy thing in Philadelphia. Guy just, we're in the streets, everybody's partying in the streets, Dex, Dex a girl. We turn around, she's on the ground crying. We run over, grip him up, throw him up against the fucking wall. There was like five of us, like, you know, and she's grabbed, she starts ripping us off. I deserved it. I deserved it. I go, I go, I, we came, we were not fixing this. Wow.

• 1:06:09Speaker 04

  That was a similar situation to the one in Bay Ridge. Yeah, she started telling everybody to fuck off, even though this guy was like pushing her and yelling at her.

• 1:06:15Speaker 00

  Well, that's when they turn on you. Then it's them two versus you and you're like, I can't, I can't help this.

• 1:06:20Speaker 04

  You're gonna be starting your own ID channel documentary in a couple of years. That's your business.

• 1:06:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Speaker 04

  It's your fucking business.

• 1:06:26Speaker 03

  What's the OnlyFans, honey?

• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  I'll see you on A and E.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's bad. But that's how, that's how fucking crazy the abuse can get with the women.

• 1:06:34Speaker 00

  Oh, no, it's, yeah, of course. It's nuts. But like, that's what cops say. They're like, the worst ones are. The domestic dispute.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:41Speaker 00

  They both turn on you.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:44Speaker 03

  Late night diner order from both of yous. Go to the diner late night.

• 1:06:48Speaker 04

  Big part of my life. It's just a big part of being a New Yorker.

• 1:06:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, we just did it the other night. It's great.

• 1:06:53Speaker 03

  For me, I'm gonna go mushroom cheeseburger. Sauteed mushroom cheeseburger.

• 1:06:58Speaker 00

  That's crazy, dude.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  Ready for this? Sauteed mushroom cheeseburger with disco fries.

• 1:07:03Speaker 00

  Shout out disco fries.

• 1:07:04Speaker 03

  Disco fries, and then probably if I'm really, you know, I'll get, you know, depending on the Yuka app. Well, now with the Yuka app, I probably won't get a Diet Coke. I'll probably go salsa with a lime. But then I'll also get a diner cheesecake. I love a diner cheesecake. I'll get that. That's usually the big time order.

• 1:07:17Speaker 04

  Mushroom and cheese?

• 1:07:19Speaker 03

  Sauteed mushroom cheeseburger, baby.

• 1:07:21Speaker 00

  It's great.

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 1:07:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, sauteed mushrooms. Love it.

• 1:07:24Speaker 04

  Is that only a late night move, or you get that a lot?

• 1:07:26Speaker 03

  Uh, that's typically what I'll get, or I'll get a tuna melt. Or I'll get a patty melt. I like melts.

• 1:07:31Speaker 04

  That's what I do, patty melt.

• 1:07:33Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:07:33Speaker 04

  Patty melt, patty melt, deluxe, you know, it's a diner, deluxe means fries, and then give me mayo on the side. And then I drench, I drench the patty melt and mayo, and I dip the fries in mayo.

• 1:07:44Speaker 00

  You have a famous, offend me with the mayo. He goes to the subway guy, offend me with the mayo.

• 1:07:50Speaker 04

  That's how I tell him. That's how I let him know.

• 1:07:52Speaker 03

  You won't put ketchup on a burger?

• 1:07:53Speaker 04

  I do both.

• 1:07:54Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:07:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:55Speaker 00

  Okay. Huh. Um, this one's not New York, but I just did it the other day and I didn't feel great about it. Oh, this is back to parking. Have you ever saved a spot? Like, say there's a spot out front of the house and your wife's like, I'll be there in two minutes. Will you stand there and go?

• 1:08:10Speaker 03

  Tell me.

• 1:08:10Speaker 00

  Nah, nah, my buddy's coming around the block?

• 1:08:12Speaker 04

  No, no, no. I had a cone in my trunk that I would put. That was a good trick.

• 1:08:15Speaker 00

  You're a firefighter's wife. You're allowed to do whatever you want.

• 1:08:17Speaker 04

  Exactly. Look, parking in Brooklyn at night is so hard, so I had a little fucking cone. I would put the cone in there.

• 1:08:23Speaker 00

  When you left?

• 1:08:24Speaker 04

  When I left.

• 1:08:24Speaker 00

  And hoped that it would be there?

• 1:08:26Speaker 04

  Occasionally it would, but usually no.

• 1:08:29Speaker 04

  And then I just lost the cone. Somebody just took the cone. Because probably someone said, this is probably a good idea. Because they looked around, they saw no other signs, and they're like, some guy's trying to fucking hold the spot.

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  I won't do it. For me, it's the same principle. That's the same reason why I don't like the speeding cameras. Because you gotta catch me.

• 1:08:45Speaker 00

  I have a big thing, you guys. This is America. You gotta catch me.

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  You just like, you gotta catch the spot. You can't have hold and helpers. Then, you know what? Then I'll fucking sit out there all day and nobody will park on this block.

• 1:08:56Speaker 00

  I'll pay a minimum wage for that. That's such a dirt. No one gets to park.

• 1:09:00Speaker 04

  He's so fucking right, dude.

• 1:09:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, you gotta catch me.

• 1:09:02Speaker 04

  They're fucking cheating with these fucking cameras.

• 1:09:04Speaker 00

  That's bullshit. That's bullshit.

• 1:09:05Speaker 04

  There's no fun in that, dude. Just because you gotta catch me, dude.

• 1:09:08Speaker 03

  It's bullshit, dude. The whole thing's got pussified. You gotta, I want you to fucking speed.

• 1:09:12Speaker 00

  And then you can still go, you can go, even if they catch you, go to pull you over, you go, "It's my right to fucking press the gas."

• 1:09:18Speaker 03

  The other day.

• 1:09:19Speaker 00

  Of OJ Simpson this fucking day.

• 1:09:21Speaker 03

  The other day, the other day, yeah, the other day I was parked illegally. Traffic, our cop was coming around and he, and, and I walked, I, he, we got there at the same time. I said, "Did you clip me?" He said, "I just scanned you." I said, "Hey, it's what it is. I fucking did the, I, I did the crime. I'll do the time." And then he, and then he was like.

• 1:09:37Speaker 04

  You put your hands out.

• 1:09:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was like, he was like, "Oh, I'm sorry."

• 1:09:40Speaker 00

  I'll talk to my lawyer.

• 1:09:41Speaker 03

  But he said to me, he's like, "There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry, sir." And I said, "Give me the ticket. $55. Give me the ticket." I, I, I have no problem with it. If I got caught.

• 1:09:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:49Speaker 03

  As long as you caught me, I did, I'm parked here illegally. It's no problem.

• 1:09:53Speaker 00

  That sometimes throws them. I got, I got, I got pulled over one time and I was cooking, doing like 80 in a 55. It had to drop down. I didn't know. And he goes, "You know why I pulled you over?" I'm like, "Yeah, I was fucking flying, man. I didn't, I didn't see it go down." He goes, "Yeah." I was like, "Yeah."

• 1:10:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:06Speaker 00

  I was like, "I'll take, just give me the ticket." Like, there's no, it's like, you're not, I was not gonna, you're not gonna tap dance and try to get out of this? I was like, "No, man."

• 1:10:12Speaker 03

  Fucking cameras at the base of the Queensborough Bridge. Give me a fucking break.

• 1:10:16Speaker 04

  It's bad.

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  Get me with a radar gun. Pull out behind me.

• 1:10:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what I used to call, uh, whenever I raw dogged a girl. I'd go, "I did the crime. I do the time. Two to 22 days."

• 1:10:25Speaker 00

  Wait to see if any symptoms pop up.

• 1:10:27Speaker 03

  Symptoms, pregnancy, that's when it's gonna pop up.

• 1:10:29Speaker 04

  That's what I used to call doing a bid.

• 1:10:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, doing a bid.

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  You're in purgatory.

• 1:10:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, two, 22 days, 22 days of worry.

• 1:10:34Speaker 00

  And you go, you get out and you go, "Woo, man, never doing that again." Then you do it again. You go, "What the fuck?"

• 1:10:39Speaker 03

  Bug, I tell, one of the greatest repeat offenders of all time is our good friend Joe DeRosa.

• 1:10:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  I mean, Joe DeRosa was living in prison in the summer of 2021.

• 1:10:46Speaker 00

  He does bids like crazy. Kid doesn't know what life on the outside looks like.

• 1:10:50Speaker 03

  He doesn't even give a fuck, dude. He'll go, "Trans, it doesn't matter."

• 1:10:52Speaker 00

  He does bids.

• 1:10:54H. Foley?

  We asked Yanni this, uh, in a roundabout way, we got to it, uh, when he was here last, but, uh, Chrissy D., backseat of a cab. Action? No action. Like.

• 1:11:05Speaker 03

  Sex?

• 1:11:06Speaker 00

  Not sex. You're making, if you're, you're leaving the bar with a lady, you're going back to your, it's obviously pre, pre mac.

• 1:11:11Speaker 03

  I used to, not probably now, not in an Uber, because to have more of my information.

• 1:11:15Speaker 00

  They're all cammed up, too.

• 1:11:16Speaker 03

  But a, but a, but a, but a taxi cab, yeah, I've, I've gotten, I've gotten, I've gotten blowies back there, I fingered back there. I've gotten a couple of blowies and a couple of fingers, and one time I was getting a blowie and I saw the cabby looking in the rear mirror, I said, this fucking guy probably just got to this country, let him take a pee.

• 1:11:30Speaker 00

  This is American hog right here, bro. That's called circumcised.

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:34H. Foley?

  It was great, because remember how proud he was, blowies in the cab?

• 1:11:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, blowies in the back, because the cab, you know, it's got the divider, you know.

• 1:11:40Speaker 00

  It felt like another world. It felt like that guy's in his own apartment, you know what I mean?

• 1:11:44Speaker 04

  Oh, I got a blowie from my ex when we were in college, who was my blowie from high school, and I got a blowie in the back, and it was fucking great.

• 1:11:49Speaker 00

  Pretty cool.

• 1:11:50Speaker 04

  Still, it's like an American holiday in my life.

• 1:11:52Speaker 03

  It's a blowie in the back is, it is American, it's like a, it's like a 4th of July hot dog, because you're not going down on a girl in the back. That's, you don't do that, but a blowie in the back, very easy, just suck my stick.

• 1:12:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:03Speaker 00

  Suck my stick. You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen.

• 1:12:08Speaker 03

  Merch, the new merch coming, oh, you garbage, suck my stick, get them.

• 1:12:12Speaker 00

  I got one that's not, I just happened to this, and I didn't feel right doing it, we were, I was on a plane, the plane was getting ready to take off, they're still, they're still loading in, I'm sitting there. Is it rude, bounces off everybody in the room, is it rude to take a phone call then?

• 1:12:27Speaker 00

  While you're like sitting there, waiting, you're not waiting to take off, like, it's boarding.

• 1:12:31Speaker 03

  I mean, are we talking about, hey, what's going on, or is it?

• 1:12:33Speaker 00

  A little bit. Colly T called me, we were, you know, hamming it up a little bit.

• 1:12:37Speaker 03

  That's when I FaceTime my family, before I take off, I'm on FaceTime with that, with the.

• 1:12:41Speaker 00

  You are half Puerto Rican at this point.

• 1:12:42Speaker 04

  I think it is a little rude.

• 1:12:44Speaker 00

  It's a little rude.

• 1:12:45Speaker 04

  If you don't have earbuds in. If you got earbuds in.

• 1:12:48H. Foley?

  Wait, you're doing it on the, with, on the speaker?

• 1:12:50Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:12:51H. Foley?

  You put it in your ear.

• 1:12:52Speaker 00

  I know, but it is, it's, I was sitting next to somebody who wasn't you, and, yeah, just, it.

• 1:12:57H. Foley?

  Who was she?

• 1:12:58Speaker 00

  You have to watch your, yeah, I don't know, it's just, it's a more quieter time.

• 1:13:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:02Speaker 00

  More solemn time.

• 1:13:03Speaker 03

  Right, I, I do, I'll, I'll do, for me, I say no, I FaceTime with the fam, that's what I do.

• 1:13:07H. Foley?

  I respect that.

• 1:13:08Speaker 03

  I do that, but with earphones, always with the earphones.

• 1:13:11Speaker 04

  You got it, you got it.

• 1:13:12Speaker 00

  And then when you land, do you FaceTime against it, they can clap because the plane landed?

• 1:13:16Speaker 03

  I mean planes that, you know, thank God that you don't see that too much anymore with the, with the people clapping.

• 1:13:20Speaker 04

  Well, I think it's back now.

• 1:13:21Speaker 03

  It's about, well, I was just gonna bring it up. We, I, I flew from Florida, Fort Lauderdale yesterday and we had a relatively rough landing, but I've been on those before. But like the plane slammed down and this is the second flight that I've been on where the pilot, the, while we're landing is talking to the, to the passengers saying everything's gonna be okay. I understand that it's a little rocky. We might have a, a harsh landing. So I'm like, oh wow, this is because of these recent incidents because it's like, it's two in the last two weeks. The pilot, as we're landing is talking the entire time.

• 1:13:54Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 1:13:54Speaker 03

  And, and, and my flight going out to Fort Lauderdale, our pilot was a woman and a guy got off the plane.

• 1:13:59Speaker 04

  Get out of here.

• 1:14:00Speaker 03

  I swear to God, he walked off and he sighed and he said, he said, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm actually gonna get off the plane. And the lady was like, would you like this? And he's like, I'm just not gonna take this flight.

• 1:14:08Speaker 04

  Let me tell you, I, it, for me, that's like hearing a German train conductor. I'm off. I'm getting off.

• 1:14:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm off. I shouldn't, I'm sorry. I just fucking, I want my guy with a white beard and a drinking problem.

• 1:14:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:19Speaker 04

  That's what I want flying my plane. Did you see the one at O'Hara Airport that just happened? No. I mean, dude, they're happening like.

• 1:14:26Speaker 03

  What, today?

• 1:14:27Speaker 04

  It was like yesterday. So, so I don't know what's going on. Plane comes into land. You saw it? Yeah. Fucking jet coming across. He has to come right back up or it would, they would've just slammed right into each other.

• 1:14:40Speaker 03

  And killed everybody.

• 1:14:41Speaker 04

  Killed everybody, dude.

• 1:14:42Speaker 03

  Those scare me.

• 1:14:43Speaker 04

  It was so close.

• 1:14:44Speaker 03

  That's never happened yet, but if I ever get into that land and take off, I'll probably have a heart attack. A land and take off is not fun. That's not fun.

• 1:14:52Speaker 04

  I did that once and it was.

• 1:14:53Speaker 03

  I've been on, I've been on that once.

• 1:14:54Speaker 04

  It's horrible.

• 1:14:55Speaker 03

  It's horrible, but, but that then, I've, actually, I'm sorry, it happened twice. Once the pilot talked to us the whole way, which is great. The second time, nobody said anything. So that was very, very nerve wracking. Cause you're like, did we get fucking hijacked?

• 1:15:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:15:07Speaker 03

  That's what you're thinking.

• 1:15:09Speaker 04

  Dude, it's kinda scary because our whole career is just getting in planes and the more planes we get in, the more chances we're giving ourselves to fucking. It's Delta too, which is, is our, he thought Delta was.

• 1:15:19Speaker 03

  Well, what do you, what do you got a higher chance of dying in a plane or the bus with Burt Crusher?

• 1:15:24Speaker 00

  The buses, we've done buses, buses are, you really give a lot of that power to the driver.

• 1:15:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:29Speaker 00

  Middle of the night, he's driving through the Smoky Mountains or something.

• 1:15:32H. Foley?

  I'm okay with it. I got the CPAP on, I'm sleeping like a bear. I won't even know.

• 1:15:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, planes are definitely scaring out, but they say when you look into them that there were more incidents last year, the media is just covering all of them. I'm like, well, actually, yes, but it's also a plane fucking crashed in Washington DC. So that didn't happen last year.

• 1:15:50Speaker 00

  Sure, plane crashed in Philly?

• 1:15:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:52Speaker 04

  So you can't, you can't take a nap on a plane, huh?

• 1:15:55Speaker 00

  Oh, no, he goes out.

• 1:15:55H. Foley?

  I can, but it sucks. I wake up a little groggy, a little swollen, a little groggy. If I got a couple of Bloody Marys in me, yeah, it's bad.

• 1:16:02Speaker 04

  Is it noisy when he sleeps on a plane?

• 1:16:03Speaker 00

  Nah, he's out. I prefer him to sleep because he's noisier awake. Then, especially if he gets a couple, if he's got a couple in him and I don't have a couple in me, he is a tough hang.

• 1:16:13H. Foley?

  I squirm a little bit.

• 1:16:15Speaker 00

  Uh, we gotta wrap it up though, gang.

• 1:16:16H. Foley?

  Boys, this was an absolute treat.

• 1:16:18Speaker 00

  Long time in the making.

• 1:16:19H. Foley?

  We're back. Two of the absolute funniest, two of the absolute best in the business, the history hyenas. Fellas, we love you. Congratulations on the special.

• 1:16:27Speaker 03

  Thank you so much. Hulu, it's just unfortunate. Go to christiecomedy.com and then Madison Square Garden, September 11th. Hey, all I'm gonna say is just come to that building. I'm not sure where the show's actually gonna be. Just be, I know it's gonna be in that building.

• 1:16:42Speaker 04

  It will be on that address.

• 1:16:43Speaker 03

  Could be upstairs or downstairs. Depends if the tickets start to cook a little bit.

• 1:16:47H. Foley?

  Yanni, what do you got for them?

• 1:16:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, catch me on the road. When's this coming out?

• 1:16:50Speaker 00

  Uh, next week.

• 1:16:51Speaker 04

  Oh, well, you just missed me in Philly. Damn it, which is fucking a large fan base of yours. God fucking damn it, and I need the help.

• 1:16:59Speaker 03

  You know, that's why, that's why we call him Yanni Almost.

• 1:17:02Speaker 04

  Fuck, Yanni always fucking almost.

• 1:17:06Speaker 00

  Cause his eyes are almost touching.

• 1:17:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:17:08Speaker 04

  Exactly. Cleveland and San Diego and Rochester and Springfield, Missouri and uh, historyhyenasisback.com for all your information. Check that out and uh, it's good to finally be on here with you boys.

• 1:17:21Speaker 00

  Happy to have you guys.

• 1:17:22H. Foley?

  We love you so much and thank you for everything. We love you guys. Kippy?

• 1:17:25Speaker 04

  Love you guys.

• 1:17:26Speaker 00

  Uh, guys, we're on the road as well. Get your tickets. Uh, the Back on the Block Tour at areyougarbage.com. We'll see you out there. And also check out the Route 66 special on the YouTube page. We love you. Thank you.

• 1:17:36H. Foley?

  We love you, gang. We'll see you next week.

• 1:17:37Speaker 03

  Peace.