Losing the Room w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley and we're taking losing the room, socially and foundationally. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Best of AYG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL8bt-D-ZN4&list=PLCJp1IfokN9Cy1Hi79LSGAykCKfRDM_y9 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Square: Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/garbage Thrive Market: Go to https://ThriveMarket.com/GARBAGE, to get thirty percent off your first order, plus a FREE sixty dollar gift just for signing up. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Merch alert, merch alert, merch alert. Look out, just in time for summer, well, almost halfway through. Either way, we got some hot new tees coming at you, gang. You got Kippy's King of the Burbs.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Oh, Handyman Services.

• 0:12H. Foley?

  Look at that.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  We got Aunt Toody's Department of Sanitation. Get involved, join the union.

• 0:17H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  And then Uncle Hank's Hot Dogs.

• 0:21H. Foley?

  Near and dear to my heart, Uncle Hank's Hot Dogs. Grab a litter, hot kids.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  And then the Garbage University, boom, established 2020 when we started the show. Available at arugarbage.com, limited supplies, get one at a last. We love yous.

• 0:34H. Foley?

  Love yous.

• 0:35Speaker 02

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:55H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00H. Foley?

  It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy.

• 1:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05H. Foley?

  Or just a big old piece of trash.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  Garbage.

• 1:07H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's, a new addition. She unfortunately has another new case of athlete's foot. But don't ask me where it is. My co-host's coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:27H. Foley?

  Just the boys, the bozos and the homies, like to circle the wagons a little bit. Check in, get everybody straightened out.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Man, you're like a bad fucking high school counselor, dude. Shut up.

• 1:39H. Foley?

  Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Hey, what's up, everybody? Shout out to you.

• 1:43H. Foley?

  International businessman.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. You know what? Who even cares about iTunes anymore? The real deal's over there on Spotify. Whole video.

• 1:53H. Foley?

  Talk about old news.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  We're cruising.

• 1:55H. Foley?

  Might as well be a phonograph.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  I know. That's, uh, dude, what iTunes is.

• 2:00H. Foley?

  We're on the radio, baby.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  iTunes is, uh, what's the company that had, uh, that had Zoom before Zoom and dropped the ball? They were like, it was like the pandemic came and, uh, whatever. You got, you know what I'm saying?

• 2:12H. Foley?

  Yikes.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  A clunk.

• 2:14H. Foley?

  More after this.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  I got baby brain dude, Spotify, obviously the greatest website of all time.

• 2:19H. Foley?

  We're on the charts!

• 2:21Speaker 01

  Patreon.com/ArrieGarbage, you go over there, you get up to two bajillion hours worth of content. That was my last, last report I got.

• 2:26H. Foley?

  Love that money.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  And, uh, and then obviously, guys, we're going back on the road come the fall and the summer. I'm putting the baby in his room, locking the door, we're going on the road. Kids are back.

• 2:36H. Foley?

  Gotta be sitting in a hot car for a little while. Daddy's gotta go bomb.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  I gotta go do okay in Cleveland.

• 2:43H. Foley?

  We're not Cleveland, we're just in Cleveland.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:45H. Foley?

  Shout out to the ladies.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, get your tickets, we, we fucking love you. Chom- this is the longest we've taken off the road, I'm chomping at the bit to get back out there, get on the road, get in a van, go with the boys. You know what I mean? I'm, uh, I'm, I'm bitty excited.

• 2:59H. Foley?

  Excited. Are we using the van for this?

• 3:02Speaker 01

  For what?

• 3:03H. Foley?

  For the tour, what, what we using the van for, right?

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, not everywhere.

• 3:06H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  I don't think it's making it to Seattle, but, you know.

• 3:09H. Foley?

  Be cool if it did.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  I mean, we'll just rent a van at that point to pay diesel to drive from.

• 3:13H. Foley?

  Get some weed out there, bring my acoustic guitar, start the fucking scene back up, man.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  You would.

• 3:19H. Foley?

  Get Sub Pop going again.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  You would in a heartbeat.

• 3:21H. Foley?

  Woo! Remember at the end of Rockstar when he went and they were alluding to him like starting the grunge revolution?

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Is that what they did?

• 3:28H. Foley?

  Pretty much.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  Listen.

• 3:30H. Foley?

  Or he was getting into it, he had his hair cut, or he had his hair like Kurt Cobain's. He was at a coffee shop in Seattle with an acoustic guitar, talking about his feelings.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  I don't, I didn't read into that and listen, you know.

• 3:42H. Foley?

  Really, I loved that last scene. Cause then Jennifer Aniston comes in.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  I, listen, I, I understand this scene.

• 3:47H. Foley?

  At her most. Jennifer Aniston.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  She, listen, that was, I, me and my boys, uh, used to watch that movie relatively unironically.

• 3:57H. Foley?

  What do you mean?

• 3:58Speaker 01

  What do you mean, what do I mean? Not, I mean, it's a bad movie. It's a, it's a very bad movie.

• 4:03H. Foley?

  I think you're crazy, I think it's a great movie.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Okay, I mean.

• 4:06H. Foley?

  Man, I've been really watching it unironically. What are you talking about?

• 4:10Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 4:10H. Foley?

  C- caddy!

• 4:11Speaker 01

  That's a bad movie.

• 4:12H. Foley?

  How is that a bad movie?

• 4:13Speaker 01

  What's it, I mean, give me some review, I think she.

• 4:15H. Foley?

  Rockstar?

• 4:16Speaker 01

  She got panned, they cut her out of most of it.

• 4:18H. Foley?

  Who did?

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Aniston.

• 4:20H. Foley?

  What are you talking about?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Listen, I'm not, I'm, first of all, you didn't produce the movie, relax. I love the movie.

• 4:26H. Foley?

  Means a lot to me.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  I can quote most of the, it means a lot to you.

• 4:29H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  You were fucking 42 when that thing came out. It means a lot to you. You were.

• 4:34H. Foley?

  There's still hope for me. All I gotta do is be singing at some concert. I don't got those types.

• 4:44H. Foley?

  I always identified with the manager.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  The wigs were bad. I mean, everybody's stunk in that.

• 4:49H. Foley?

  What are you talking about? It should have been up for an Academy Award.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  That was Zach Wild's acting debut.

• 4:54H. Foley?

  Who's Zach Wild?

• 4:55Speaker 01

  I don't care what you do, just keep your dick away from me. And you call yourself a fan of rock star. Hey, wow, he was fucking melting faces on it. Had the whammy bar, all that shit.

• 5:05H. Foley?

  How about the dude getting the blood transfusion right before the show? That's gonna be us.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  I loved the girl who was in-

• 5:10H. Foley?

  Be doing that in Vermont in three years.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Burlington. All hopped up on a weird pizza we ate.

• 5:16H. Foley?

  Playing some small rock club. Hang on a second. Got the fucking diffuser going back there. Quick transfusion, I'll be alright.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  You're sitting next to a couple eating coffee, drinking coffee. It's not even like, it's not even a show, it's an open mic. Um, yeah, that was, I mean, that movie was, I think, at the time, panned.

• 5:37Speaker 03

  Ah, it's more of a cult classic, but-

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Cult classics typically aren't-

• 5:40Speaker 03

  It got generally positive reviews.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  Really?

• 5:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:43H. Foley?

  Generally positive reviews.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Signed, H. Foley.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  Really?

• 5:49Speaker 03

  The Google review users are saying 82% liked it. Uh, Rotten Tomatoes, there's multiple Rotten Tomatoes. Recently, it seems to be at 83, but it was hovering around 55, I believe, a while ago.

• 6:02H. Foley?

  By the way, I wanted to tell you something.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  That wasn't his best movie.

• 6:04H. Foley?

  Who's best movie? Wahlberg's? Does Wahlberg have a best movie?

• 6:08Speaker 01

  I was Wahlberg in it. Is that Donny?

• 6:12H. Foley?

  He grained at the part, what are you talking about?

• 6:14Speaker 01

  I didn't say he, you said he had no good movies. Don't fucking put that X on me.

• 6:18H. Foley?

  I didn't say that.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, you did.

• 6:19H. Foley?

  This guy did.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  The right of my mouth started. That guy's a poor big asshole.

• 6:26H. Foley?

  Hey, listen, you're a young kid, I wanted to tell you something. You're really relying too much on this AI shit. You and the chat GPT and all this stuff, the AI reviews, you're going to it too much.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  What are you relying on?

• 6:37H. Foley?

  I'm telling you, you're on-

• 6:38Speaker 01

  You're relying on feel, and buddy, you're off.

• 6:40H. Foley?

  Old school instincts. I knew it was gonna rain today three weeks ago.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  And cheesesteak egg rolls. Old school instincts. And an appetizer sampler.

• 6:52H. Foley?

  Hey, you wanna do something, you do it right.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  I don't wanna get some of this grease in me.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  Just call me fucking Foley the Almanac. You guys cooking.

• 7:00H. Foley?

  I'll tell you when it's gonna snow in three years.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Guys, we're gonna have, we're gonna have a bad crop season, hunker down.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  We got bugs.

• 7:08H. Foley?

  God, I don't like those potato skins. I got a bad feeling about the.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Start the car, we gotta get the hell out of here.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Locust, as far as the eye can see.

• 7:18H. Foley?

  Man, a guy that can predict the future only when he eats it.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  I'm gonna need your side of marinara stat.

• 7:28H. Foley?

  See if I can save the world.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Oh, god.

• 7:31H. Foley?

  Anyway, watch it, alright? You're getting too caught up in it. You're, you're going to this guy for everything. They're saying, are you gonna be in here making out with a fucking AI robot? After I get a piece. When are they coming?

• 7:44Speaker 01

  I'm sure that, I think they're here already.

• 7:45H. Foley?

  Nah, not realistic. I want someone that's gonna bitch at me.

• 7:51H. Foley?

  Not busting my balls. Anyway.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Uh huh, um.

• 7:55H. Foley?

  Sidetracked, I apologize.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  For what?

• 7:58H. Foley?

  I don't know, I haven't seen you in a couple of days.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  I know, I don't like your squirrely. Gets squirrely.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  I'd, listen, I've been, I've been, I haven't talked to an adult, I've been doing goo goo ga ga and fucking changing diapers. I'm fucking in the weeds over here.

• 8:12H. Foley?

  How tired are you?

• 8:13Speaker 01

  I was up today.

• 8:15H. Foley?

  Cause it seems like you've broken through it. And shout out to all the parents out there, I don't know how you fucking do it.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Give it up for the troops, what are you doing?

• 8:22H. Foley?

  Just saying.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Where are my teachers at, huh?

• 8:26H. Foley?

  I mean, I could barely get past myself.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  Uh huh. You're the buddy, you've.

• 8:30H. Foley?

  I'm not past myself.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, you shouldn't be in charge of yourself. If it was up to me, I'd say, I'd have a, have the government step in.

• 8:35H. Foley?

  So what I'm saying is.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  I was up from 1 to 5:30 today.

• 8:39H. Foley?

  So after, it's.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  I went back to bed at 5:30 for about 90 minutes. I had to get on in and I'm up and then I'm here and someone was late today. So I'm sorry if I was a little bit of a fucking dude.

• 8:49H. Foley?

  But it's been over a week, so have you like.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  Been over a week?

• 8:52H. Foley?

  With the baby, or two weeks, whatever it's been.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, three weeks, yeah.

• 8:55H. Foley?

  Three weeks. So have you gone through it? Like, are you, are you?

• 8:59Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:00H. Foley?

  Have you broken past the tiredness, is what I'm asking?

• 9:02Speaker 01

  You're just, it becomes, I, listen, I don't, I hate being the guy, like, let me, da, ba, ba, ba, I'm not, I'm not that guy, didn't like that guy when I wasn't when I was childless. When I was barren, um, I'm barren.

• 9:15H. Foley?

  Stale womb.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  It's just, you're just forever tired. I don't think your brain ever chemically gets back to what it was prior to delivery.

• 9:25H. Foley?

  Yeah, I don't like that. See, I'm a little bit tired.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  You're chained. I'm, I'm, I'm, buddy, you're tired.

• 9:30H. Foley?

  I'm a little bit tired right now.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  But I don't know if you've talked to yourself, you're tired. Looking at you, I'm tired.

• 9:35H. Foley?

  You're old. You're old and tired.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  You're just, you're, you're just, and then, because the sad thing, not the sad thing, the scary thing is you're like, oh, there is, and no, there's, the lifeboat ain't coming to get you.

• 9:48H. Foley?

  That sucks.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  They burned the boats, you're out there.

• 9:50H. Foley?

  That sucks.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  You're just out there till the kid turns fucking 16 or something. Trying to figures out his wee-wee.

• 9:54H. Foley?

  If you wanted to get eight hours somewhere, what would you have to do?

• 9:57Speaker 01

  Fucking go to Fallujah or something. Eight hours, I gotta go for smokes if you catch my drift. Yeah, eight hours ain't, that's...

• 10:06H. Foley?

  Forget it.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Nah, yeah.

• 10:07H. Foley?

  You have to be on the road.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:11H. Foley?

  Would've been nice.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  Just get, hey, fucking Luke, get the fucking suits on the phone. I'll, let's go to fucking Tuscaloosa or something. Book that coffee shop.

• 10:18H. Foley?

  Can't sell that market?

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Sleepy time tour. Man.

• 10:22H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  The sack time tour? Get some shut eye.

• 10:27H. Foley?

  Shut eye two city tour?

• 10:28Speaker 01

  Oh, man, yeah, it's tough. You're just in it, you know? Um, yeah. Trashy, trashy parents.

• 10:36H. Foley?

  I like that you had the baby in the summer, can I say that?

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, it wasn't a choice.

• 10:40H. Foley?

  I know, I don't know why, just, uh, that feels like, it has like a 70's old school vibe to me. You know what I mean?

• 10:47Speaker 01

  No.

• 10:47H. Foley?

  Having the baby in the summer.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Sure, okay.

• 10:50H. Foley?

  Now, newborn baby in the summer.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  I wasn't alive in the 70's, I don't understand the, the baby's feel in the 70's.

• 10:55H. Foley?

  I wasn't alive in the 70's either.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Hey, listen, just because you don't understand what you're talking about, doesn't mean I do either.

• 10:59H. Foley?

  I can't just, maybe it's like a That 70's Show vibe, I don't know.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  There's no babies in that show.

• 11:03H. Foley?

  You're missing the point.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm, we're talking about babies.

• 11:06H. Foley?

  I can't talk to this guy. Chat GTPM.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Oh, whatever. All that's either here nor there.

• 11:12H. Foley?

  Quit screwing it.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  Uh, we gotta, uh, we gotta get into it. We got a Gosh darn Family episode, gang. As you know, when you join the old Patreon over at Air to World's Greatest's website, uh, you get your garbage question answered on the air, and we got one, two, three heaters coming at ya.

• 11:28H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Uh, being a summertime 70's.

• 11:31H. Foley?

  Bingo. There you go.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Summertime, babies. Uh, this is from Evan G. $10 groupie. Is it garbage to work as an HVAC tech, but tell people you work in sales? So, nobody asks you to fix their AC during a heatwave? That is checkers, baby. That guy's going, "I don't want no side work. I don't need no side work. They don't call me."

• 11:51H. Foley?

  I know, but that's living a double life for us. That, that's a real long play.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  I'd, listen, I did it. I, I talked about last, well, whatever, last week it was, the, my, my power went out. My AC was down. I called my brother right away.

• 12:05H. Foley?

  Oh, really?

• 12:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I mean, like-

• 12:06H. Foley?

  See, that's you.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  No, but I called, we couldn't get anybody out that day.

• 12:11H. Foley?

  What's he gonna do? Get off the couch and come over? What are you expecting? Him to come over and fix it?

• 12:15Speaker 01

  No, sends a guy who knows, sends a guy who knows what he's doing over. "All right, I, I got fucking Mike on the line. Mike's, Mikey's on his way over. My Uncle Mike's on." I should've called my Uncle Mike.

• 12:23H. Foley?

  Did he come over?

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Uncle Mike's too.

• 12:25H. Foley?

  Did your brother send somebody over?

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Nah, he was watching a movie or something. I really couldn't get his attention.

• 12:29H. Foley?

  I got Rockstar on.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  And he was watching, uh, no, this is whatever. This was like two weeks ago. My, uh, my cousin Quinn Sullivan was playing in the men's national team and, uh, shout out to the Sullivan boys. Um, he was watching that and I'm like, "Yeah, dude, there's no power. I got a baby. The fuck, it's 98 degrees upstairs."

• 12:47H. Foley?

  Yo!

• 12:47Speaker 01

  And he's like, "Oh, whoa, whoa, cross it, cross it." I'm like, "I'll fucking talk to you later. You're fucking jamming me up over here."

• 12:53H. Foley?

  Uh, it's funny.

• 12:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um-

• 12:55H. Foley?

  I get that, though.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  100%, man.

• 12:58H. Foley?

  I wonder how far out, like, how far out do you go with that? You know what I mean?

• 13:04Speaker 01

  I think it-

• 13:05H. Foley?

  Like, are you not telling your cousins that you're an HVAC?

• 13:06Speaker 01

  No, it's probably inbound of like, "Oh, Gary."

• 13:09H. Foley?

  You told me you were a doctor. I had you feel my testicles last week.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  You had a free on.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  Could use a charge if you catch my drift. Top it off with some R22. Um, dropping all my HVAC keywords. I heard my dad say.

• 13:26H. Foley?

  This puppy's got a fuse.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  This room's got a negative, this bullshit's got a negative pressure.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Once you that and that and I always heard, once you lose a room, you lose a room.

• 13:39H. Foley?

  What do you mean?

• 13:40Speaker 01

  Like, once the AC is off.

• 13:46H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  And you're like, oh, it's a brogue, you turn it on or whatever. It's not.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  What should on paper takes four hours to cool down, it's gonna take two days to get down to temperature. The, the AC can't, if it's 100 degrees in the room.

• 14:03H. Foley?

  Right.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  The A, you set it to 70. To get to that 70 is gonna take fucking.

• 14:08H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  And it's not gonna get there.

• 14:10H. Foley?

  So you're saying like be preventatively on top of keeping your room cold?

• 14:13Speaker 01

  If you lose the room and the room gets to 92 degrees.

• 14:16H. Foley?

  Not because the.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Buddy, go, get a hotel room. You ain't fucking, you ain't, you ain't putting, you ain't pulling, you know.

• 14:21H. Foley?

  Once you lose a room.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  Once you lost, my dad go, you lost the room.

• 14:25H. Foley?

  I thought you meant like in conversation.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  That's what you do.

• 14:28H. Foley?

  Guess I've done that. I'm never getting this back.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Gary, it's me.

• 14:33H. Foley?

  I've, I've had that feeling where I've blown it in conversation.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  Buddy, you blow most conversations I have with you. Fucking talk about losing a room.

• 14:43H. Foley?

  Once you lose a room, you lose a room. Keep moving and start over.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  Your dad was bad with people too?

• 14:51H. Foley?

  Aw, man. And I know why, obviously, because.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  Once you lose a room.

• 14:58H. Foley?

  What I was gonna say is I know why that, uh, the, you know, ACs go down so much when there's a heat wave because they're overworking.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  Sure, of course.

• 15:05H. Foley?

  But man, they did, is there anything worse than that?

• 15:08Speaker 01

  I just had it. It sucks. It's like genuinely you feel like you're in the goddamn Sahara. You got no, there's no.

• 15:15H. Foley?

  And I feel like that happens more than the heat going out when it's really cold outside.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 15:20H. Foley?

  You know what happens when it's really cold outside? Pipes start bursting.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's always the big.

• 15:25H. Foley?

  Bad news.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  Pipe burst. Ooh, pipe burst.

• 15:30H. Foley?

  When we were moving into our apartment, it was a pretty, there was like a week where it was a really cold snap.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  Cold snap.

• 15:35H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  That's a fucking.

• 15:36H. Foley?

  Cold snap.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  That's your mom, dude. You're turning into your mom. There's a freaking cold snap out there.

• 15:41H. Foley?

  Goddamn Clipper coming in. Um, some pipe burst.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Oh, I forgot to tell you, your mom messaged me.

• 15:48H. Foley?

  What?

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm.

• 15:49H. Foley?

  Your mom. Whore.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  I congratulated him, even at the same time, shit on you. It was perfect.

• 15:54H. Foley?

  Really?

• 15:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, cherish it now, because when they grow up to be teenagers and they get real fat, you know.

• 16:00H. Foley?

  She didn't say that.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  She didn't say that, but she was trashing her kids. I, mainly you, I believe. I was like, I didn't have to drag him into it, but while we're at it, I got one, two, three things I want to get off my chest.

• 16:12H. Foley?

  Hey, you talk to him today?

• 16:14Speaker 01

  If you hear from him, let me fucking know. He's talking to me.

• 16:17H. Foley?

  Man, when that starts up.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Oh, man, yeah, you're jammed up with me and Patty are looking for you.

• 16:22H. Foley?

  Jesus.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  You're in bad shape.

• 16:25H. Foley?

  Bad shape. Not that I'm in great shape. I'd say I'm right about there.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  Right about where?

• 16:31H. Foley?

  You two. You seen him? Nah. Man, if you two got in cahoots.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  We have been once. It's in the, it's in the text message.

• 16:41H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 16:43H. Foley?

  It's in the text message.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  That was, I didn't know who it was. I didn't have her number saved. And I had to do the math with, I'm like, who's being this big of a bitch?

• 16:55Speaker 01

  It was something like, you really need to talk to him or something.

• 16:58H. Foley?

  I would have thought the tasteless nudes would have jarred your memory.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  She left her face out of it if he ditched my group.

• 17:05H. Foley?

  Covers her face with a cellphone?

• 17:08H. Foley?

  Respect the nude. Kim, let's talk about Square.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  Ooh, shout out to that Square gang.

• 17:13H. Foley?

  Nothing worse than a, than a bumpy checkout.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  It'll make me want to, whatever I'm buying, I go, you know what? Screw this. I'm out of there.

• 17:19H. Foley?

  Listen, we got a lot of hustlers out there, a lot of guys starting side projects and all that stuff. Dude, do yourself a favor, get Square. It's the easiest checkout in the world. We use it on the road. Bing, bang, boom. The signal's always great. It's absolutely fantastic. Feel like a real company using that.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  You got to. The point of sale system, listen, we're on the road, we're selling merch. If you've been to a live show, the meet and greet line, the tickets, whatever, you're fucking boop, boop, boop, you sweep, you bop, you're in and out. It's fantastic.

• 17:45H. Foley?

  When I saw that at the merch table, I was like, man, we're really doing it here.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  It tracks everything. It tracks your inventory. Square supports all major credit card and payment methods, including contactless options like Apple Pay and Google Pay. Checkout is fast and easy for all customers, baby. Here is the turkey. Square keeps up, so you don't have to slow down. What a slogan.

• 18:05H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  Get everything you need to run your business without any long-term commitments. And why wait? Right now, you can sign up for $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/garbage. That's square, S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash go slash garbage. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today.

• 18:25H. Foley?

  Yeah. Kim, let's talk about Thrive.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  Shout out to Thrive Market, gang.

• 18:29H. Foley?

  Woo! You want to get the best snacks in the world, the best clean snacks in the world? Do yourself a favor, get over to Thrive Market. Gang, summer stock up without the markup. We're talking about snacks for the road, clean snacks for the road. Talking about barbecue sauce. Thrive Market is our go-to for summer grocery items. Do yourself a favor, get over there. I'm talking Primal Kitchen. I'm talking even clean wine. Clean wine!

• 18:55Speaker 01

  Woo! Baby!

• 18:56H. Foley?

  All delivered straight to your door, without the fancy price tag that you get when you go out to an actual market.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Yes. I mean, if you're not familiar, they got high-protein snacks. They got clean-label stuff for your house, for your kids. They have the kid-friendly swaps that make grocery shopping feel like a win, baby. If you're, whatever you're looking for, everybody's got something going on. Sometimes you're gluten-free. You're looking for gluten-free buns for a barbecue, seed oil-free chips. Them seed oils is bad news.

• 19:20H. Foley?

  Get out of there with them seed oils!

• 19:21Speaker 01

  They got low-sugar treats. Whatever you need, Thrive has it. I mean, they sent a box over here. We attacked it like we were, I mean...

• 19:28H. Foley?

  Like wolves.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  It's like we were storming a beach, baby. We were all, we were shredding it.

• 19:33H. Foley?

  Fantastic.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  They had these chip-type things that, I mean, I was like, oh, let me, I was a little hungry, I only do one. Next thing you know, I was like, I was a blackout. I went to...

• 19:41H. Foley?

  Those corn chips are tight.

• 19:42Speaker 01

  Four bags of them, John. So, stock up this summer smart with Thrive Market. Go to thrivemarket.com/garbage. You get 30% off your first order, plus a free $60 gift for just signing up.

• 19:54H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Machi machi. That's thrivemarket.com/garbage. Thrivemarket.com/garbage. Do it.

• 19:59H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  All right, let's see here. On the same, and this is in the same, well, this is from Adam H. This is a good one. Is it garbage to say, "I'm in the wrong line of work" when someone tells you how much they make for something?

• 20:12Speaker 01

  Ah shit, I'm in the wrong line of work, I'll tell you that. That was always real big with, uh, blue collar family. We knew, I knew what all of the, all the unions made. The crane operators, that was, that, and the electricians, I think, got the most hourly. They make ninety-eight, I was dropping that at like eight years old.

• 20:33H. Foley?

  Crane, crane.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  The money you're making, the money you're making, overtime, the benefits.

• 20:37H. Foley?

  Crane operators are like astronauts.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  I don't know. I know a couple of them.

• 20:42H. Foley?

  I'm aware.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 20:44H. Foley?

  But on paper.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  Sure, sure.

• 20:46H. Foley?

  It's like, what is this?

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Most of them are on perks.

• 20:48H. Foley?

  Is this guy doing open heart surgery? Well, they're strict with that shit. So you really gotta...

• 20:54Speaker 01

  Give me what, give me what an operator, a crane operator makes in New York. And then that was always the thing in Philly. It was like, "I, yeah, they make sixty-two dollars an hour, forty-four, mine makes forty-five dollars an hour." In New York, I heard they make eighty thousand dollars.

• 21:05H. Foley?

  You're sitting there half the time.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:07H. Foley?

  But when you're on, man, talk about the pressure.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  Also, man, one of them things goes down.

• 21:12H. Foley?

  Oh, fuck that.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  You're fucking fuck up fifty ninth street.

• 21:17H. Foley?

  And you're never getting out of that thing.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Fucking traffic. Oh, dude, you're ending up on an episode of Law and Order.

• 21:22H. Foley?

  Ooh, those things go. God love you, man.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  Median salary is about sixty-five across the US, but experienced crane operators in New York make about a hundred twenty annually.

• 21:33H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 21:34Speaker 01

  Plus overtime, and that's good Benny's.

• 21:36H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah. And they're milking the overtime, hm? I don't start till after five o'clock. What are you talking about? Yeah. It's like one of those, it's like, you know, it's like a stockbroker. Like, you're sitting around most of the day, then when it's go time, it's go time.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:49H. Foley?

  But you're dealing with fucking...

• 21:51Speaker 01

  Well, that's like...

• 21:51H. Foley?

  Hundreds of tons of stuff in people's lives.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  Sure. That's also a very blue collar thing I get with my family now that we've experienced some success. Is the only thing they know is like, what you earn. Like, that's what, like, they can't wrap their head around, "I come in here, we talk about our fake amp." Like, they can't, you know what I mean? So they go, "How do you get for a gig like that?" You know what I mean? That kind of stuff. "Hey, do you do good over there? You do good?"

• 22:14H. Foley?

  They pay for something like that?

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, so how's that work? How, we do, ah, you got, what's that Patreon? I had the thing Michael signed up for, you know what I mean?

• 22:22H. Foley?

  Michael signed up for it. Like it's the army?

• 22:25Speaker 01

  My cousin hit me. Was that the thing he's frickin' signed? He got three accounts. I doubt that Brendan's got three different accounts.

• 22:30H. Foley?

  My man.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  He keeps losing his password.

• 22:32H. Foley?

  Sucker.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  His wife was like, "Is that the thing he's signed up for all the time?"

• 22:39H. Foley?

  That's too funny.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's like, that's a way a blue collar dad, like, I don't know if I speak to my dad and my stepdad, but...

• 22:45H. Foley?

  But that's a very walking out of Wawa, seeing somebody's car and being like, "What do you do?"

• 22:49Speaker 01

  I saw like, yeah, I saw a guy that-

• 22:51H. Foley?

  Man, I'm in a wrong line of work.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  He said it to him?

• 22:55H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 22:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've seen that at a Wawa.

• 22:58H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:59H. Foley?

  I'm in a wrong line of work.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  Oh, hey, painting, huh? I'm in a wrong line of work.

• 23:02H. Foley?

  Man, it's good money, you can get it.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  I remember my dad was so anti-side work.

• 23:07H. Foley?

  Why?

• 23:08Speaker 01

  Cause he ran a business, he's like, "I'm not doing that." He was the owner of the company.

• 23:12H. Foley?

  He didn't wanna be, he thought it was beneath him.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  It was lowly man, that was serviceman, that was worker shit, not fucking-

• 23:19H. Foley?

  He felt like he'd gotten to a point where-

• 23:20Speaker 01

  But he didn't need to do side work, yeah, but we-

• 23:22H. Foley?

  As a badge of honor.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  At one point, we needed to do side work, so we're out doing side work.

• 23:26H. Foley?

  I need to do side work right now.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Have you guys got any, have you guys got any side comedy projects?

• 23:31H. Foley?

  I'll come over and do crowd work. Saturdays, Sundays, whatever you want.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  Talk about losing a room.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Talk about ruining Sunday.

• 23:41H. Foley?

  Hey, these kids of yours, they got no attention span.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  You mind if I throw a load of whites in?

• 23:47H. Foley?

  I'm in between places right now.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  This is shower sit here, can I get you a hot one?

• 23:56H. Foley?

  Oh, man.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  Is that eucalyptus I smell? That's nice.

• 24:01H. Foley?

  Something smells good, you guys got dinner coming?

• 24:03Speaker 01

  It's fucking noon.

• 24:06H. Foley?

  Uh, we're not cooking anything. Yeah, it still smells good.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  It's good, homie. You can probably throw it out in the kitchen, huh, Mrs.? I'm calling her mom and shit. Man, you stink.

• 24:18H. Foley?

  I do.

• 24:20H. Foley?

  Ah, it's too funny.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  Talk about losing a room. You're soaking up all the amenities. This is cow, ooh, this is over with the recliner and a charger in it.

• 24:35H. Foley?

  What's that, YouTube TV? Eh, I guess it'll be all right.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  No HBO.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  You're like Kramer when he's with the karate class and they're in the car. Can we stop for ice cream?

• 24:51Speaker 01

  Oh, man, you stink.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  Man, what was that question?

• 24:59Speaker 01

  Side work. Oh, and then I remember we did it. We were, this is 20, whatever, years ago, we were doing side work and we...

• 25:08Speaker 01

  We got a good amount of cash that day because we were doing homes or whatever. And he was like, "Man, I was trashing these motherfuckers for years doing side work. That guy's got a shore house. I don't." I mean, because someone was like, "Oh, you fixed, you know, we ran through a neighborhood, fixed whatever." And you know, we had a stack of fucking cash at the end of the day. "How you do?"

• 25:29H. Foley?

  Thought that guy was a bozo, huh? See that car?

• 25:32Speaker 01

  That's...

• 25:33H. Foley?

  I'm in a wrong amount of work.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  I did it today. I stopped by Starbucks. I got my egg bites and I walked out and I saw a guy in a Range Rover. What the hell does he think he does? Like, in my head, I really took, "You're not better than me," is what I started fighting him in my head. Guy's a pussy. Probably never did side work, this guy.

• 25:51Speaker 01

  But yeah, you have that. You're the analysis of like, I look a guy up and down and go, "Can I fight him? Probably not. I mean, I could fight him. I'd lose."

• 26:02Speaker 01

  And what's he do? You know what I mean?

• 26:06Speaker 01

  House like that. I remember we pulled up, dude, my buddy's dad was in construction. Big, big house. Big. New money, like, new money as far as the eye could see.

• 26:18H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Fucking Mercedes.

• 26:19H. Foley?

  Why was that always the case?

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Listen, I've lived it. These blue collar guys get a run, right? They're smart. It was the 80s and 90s. Contracts, money was cooking.

• 26:32H. Foley?

  Yeah, it had to be a quick influx of a large amount of capital.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  And it's like, they're like athletes. They think that's gonna be forever. Then the economy goes down. These guys never had money. They don't know how to manage money. They're overextended.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Side work. I'm sorry, I threw my neck out, baby. Burping the baby, threw my neck out. They're overextended. And then it's right, you get one or two bad year, you're walking such a tightrope that it goes.

• 27:03H. Foley?

  Would you want it any other way, though?

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:07H. Foley?

  Live on the edge of the knife, baby.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Um, I've lived, my whole life has been fucking walking that tightrope. I'm done with it, but...

• 27:14H. Foley?

  I have to say, they were always the most interesting dads, though.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  I remember my stepdad pulled up and he dropped me off, first time he had been to the house. I mean, it wasn't, it was like one of those McMansion houses, but like, you know, all like the lights, the fucking, it wasn't like... They had redone everything, the big...

• 27:30H. Foley?

  Your house?

• 27:31Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're at my buddy's house.

• 27:34H. Foley?

  Oh, okay.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  My stepdad's dropping me off at my buddy's house. Who's like, they got the glass backboard, basketball net, and the BMW, the Mercedes.

• 27:44H. Foley?

  The Christmas tree lights probably over the top.

• 27:46Speaker 01

  Just everything fucking nutso. And he goes, "What's he do for a living?" I went, "Construction?" I go, "What's he do for a living? Rob banks?" My stepdad did construction, like, "I ain't fucking got this money, what the fuck is this motherfucker doing?"

• 28:00H. Foley?

  He was conservative with his money.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, and he goes, "Uh, what's he do, rob banks?" I went, "Construction?" He went, "Pfft, okay."

• 28:10Speaker 01

  And then like two years...

• 28:11H. Foley?

  Those interest rates spike up.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, two years, he was into upside down in a mortgage, and he had a fucking home equity line.

• 28:17H. Foley?

  Man, yeah.

• 28:18Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, my family did the same fucking thing.

• 28:20H. Foley?

  They were always the funnest dads, though. And all of a sudden, it dried up quick. That new couch has been there for like fifteen years.

• 28:27Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 28:29H. Foley?

  Good stuff.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  I remember it got bad when we stopped, like, we stopped changing the... The pictures, our class pictures. Were on the mantle. Like, every year would be like my second grade, my third grade, my fourth... The last one up was like my fifth grade pic, I'd be going over, I was like twenty-five, I was sitting in a fucking Notre Dame shirt with a bowl cut. Just like, man, priorities, you know what I mean? We don't have time to worry about the fucking pictures on a mantle. We're in the fucking weeds over here.

• 28:56H. Foley?

  That's a tough look. Yeah, that's funny. Dust all the cobwebs.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, just like fucking, you open up the pantry or fucking.

• 29:04H. Foley?

  Broken dishes.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Yes, stale triscuits or something. Uh, alright, this one's from, uh, KingOptimo08, uh, "Is it garbage to play old episodes of The Boys over the speakers at work when the boss leaves?" And then customers come in, and when I'm listening, they go, "The Bug Man and Mr. Neptune met a couple of homies and bozos this way."

• 29:24H. Foley?

  Shout out to you, buddy.

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Shout out to the fucking, I didn't tell you.

• 29:27H. Foley?

  Spreading the word.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  I didn't tell you, I was, uh, I was out there in the burbs, I'm in a, a, a small town and this old couple, I'm talking late 60s, blue collars, you know. She goes, "Are you-" I'm getting my hair cut, I'm in the back, and she goes, "Are you Kevin?" I go, she's screaming from the front door, I go, "Yeah," and they're, "How you doing?" I go, "Like, you're garbage." I go, "Yeah, I'm garbage." She goes, and then she hit me with, uh-

• 29:54H. Foley?

  Your lights are on.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  That's what I thought, I thought I was like double parked, so I thought they were towing my car, I parked in the wrong lot. I thought they were towing my shit. She's like, "You're Kevin?" I'm like, "Yeah," she's like, "Hey, you're garbage." I go, "Ah, yeah," I'm like, "You what? This is crazy," this is like, we're fucking, she looked like Toody, I'm like, "This is fucking crazy." So, he's, the guy, he looks like a fucking welder, he's like, "How you doing, big mid?" He's gone, he didn't wanna- She was causing a scene, he didn't like, "Well, hey, you do-"

• 30:19H. Foley?

  I didn't want to bother you.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  And she hit me with, uh, she hit me with a great line, I gotta give it to her, she's, she's listening to this, she hit me with, uh, she goes, "I'll see you around," I go, "Alright, I'll see you," she goes, "I'll see you Sunday for the new episode."

• 30:31H. Foley?

  "I'll see you Sunday."

• 30:32Speaker 01

  "I'll see you Sunday for the new episode."

• 30:34H. Foley?

  Oh, shout out to it.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Gotta love it, they're out there, the homies and the bozos are all walks of life, baby.

• 30:40H. Foley?

  Army of garbage. Bringing families together. Multi-generational.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Or breaking them up.

• 30:47H. Foley?

  Well, do as I say.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  And we're back. Talk about losing a room.

• 30:56H. Foley?

  I drive the lifeboat.

• 30:59H. Foley?

  I'm not in it.

• 31:03H. Foley?

  My sacrifice is your salvation. How about that?

• 31:06Speaker 01

  Okay, is that what you're telling yourself? Uh, this one's from the Tooty Tickler. This I, this I have to respect. $10 homie on the street asking for a question from a Reddit homie. So he's subbing out his, his Patreon.

• 31:23H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  To a, to a bozo to get the question read.

• 31:27H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  Does that make sense?

• 31:28H. Foley?

  He's going to somebody on Reddit to get a good garbage question.

• 31:30Speaker 01

  I don't know. I think someone had to get in and goes, you know what? I'll use my, I think it's that he saw the good question was like, I'll use my, my, I'll use my question for your question.

• 31:40H. Foley?

  Ah.

• 31:40Speaker 01

  His opportunity.

• 31:41H. Foley?

  I like it.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  You ever go snorkeling in a lake? That's, you're jammed the fuck up if you're snorkeling in. Oh, you gotta be snorkeling in the ocean. It's gotta be clear.

• 31:53H. Foley?

  Yeah, but first of all, I've never gone snorkeling until last year.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  Don't they, have you ever been in a lake?

• 31:59H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  We tried getting in.

• 32:02H. Foley?

  I've, I've been in a lake with you.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  Where?

• 32:04H. Foley?

  I don't know. We went camping. We were swimming in something.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  He didn't go in.

• 32:07H. Foley?

  Yes, I did.

• 32:08Speaker 03

  I think he did.

• 32:09H. Foley?

  Of course I did.

• 32:10Speaker 01

  We got footage of that.

• 32:12H. Foley?

  I went in, dog.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  I remember going, just come in.

• 32:14H. Foley?

  No, I did. It was somebody else. Wasn't me. I get in. I get in and I get out.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Luke doesn't like the water.

• 32:21Speaker 03

  I don't.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Luke doesn't like the water. He's like a, you're like a cat.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  I get in sometimes though.

• 32:25H. Foley?

  He stinks. That's it. That's, that genuinely is the only thing about you that bothers me. I get no swim time.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  That and he don't like, he don't like seafood.

• 32:33H. Foley?

  Yeah, but I'm used to that. Bunch of stiffs around me.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  Kind of a crew vibe.

• 32:37H. Foley?

  Yeah, it really is.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  What? I eat seafood. I'm sorry. I don't eat, I don't guzzle oysters at, at breakfast. I apologize. I don't eat that at your rate and speed.

• 32:49H. Foley?

  He eats just on my back like a beaver.

• 32:53Speaker 01

  The hell of a damn you built there, big guy.

• 32:55H. Foley?

  Yeah, it took me 20 minutes.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  Um, I ate that really expensive tuna you guys bought.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  Where?

• 33:01Speaker 03

  Three Forks in Austin.

• 33:03H. Foley?

  Tuna?

• 33:04Speaker 01

  Three Forks? Oh, is that the place we went all fucked up?

• 33:07H. Foley?

  Yeah, I don't remember that. Remember to check. About it.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  There's a picture of me floating around with a Manhattan and a backwards Dale Earnhardt hat on and a Carhartt jacket. And like, there's people in like suits behind me and someone's like, Kippee, you did not belong in that place.

• 33:22H. Foley?

  I had a thing not that long ago, uh, I don't know if I told you about it on Patreon, but there was, I was at the dinner and there was like, uh, there was two, two young couples sitting next to me and they were a little drunk and they were real loud. Like talking loud and annoying. And like, I wanted to be mad at them and like, I was. Like I wanted to be like, shut the fuck up. But then in my head, I thought about that Three Forks incident.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  But that was us.

• 33:44H. Foley?

  Yeah. Like, we must've annoyed the shit out of people.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:48H. Foley?

  Especially being in our 30s and 40s. Not young kids.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  50s. Yeah, I mean, we were, I had, I had apologized.

• 33:58H. Foley?

  Sorry, brah!

• 33:59Speaker 01

  And I apologized.

• 34:00H. Foley?

  You should get the wagyu!

• 34:02Speaker 01

  I apologized thinking it was funny. I thought I was being funny. I'm talking about misreading the room.

• 34:08H. Foley?

  Who's the room?

• 34:09Speaker 01

  I thought-

• 34:10H. Foley?

  Did it get hot in here all of a sudden?

• 34:11Speaker 01

  I'm like, I'm sorry about my son! Jerk off! The guy's like, what? The woman's like clutching her pearls.

• 34:19H. Foley?

  You have children. Actually, I do now.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Uh, man. Alright, let's see here. This one's from Uncle Boobs. New homie, never had one read. Are you garbage if when you were a kid, your mom would blow cigarette smoke in your ear to cure an ear infection?

• 34:36Speaker 01

  That... Listen, I'm not saying that didn't happen. I'm not saying that did or didn't happen to me. That could have happened to me. That is in the realm of like, we were big on, uh, whiskey for toothaches.

• 34:48H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's different.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  I know. Nah, I don't, I don't think so. I would argue that's worse than-

• 34:53H. Foley?

  Blowing cigarette?

• 34:54Speaker 01

  It's not going in your body, though. You know what I mean? The, you're, the fucking, what do you want, what's going in your, the, the-

• 35:02H. Foley?

  I could see the medical logic, the-

• 35:05Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying.

• 35:05H. Foley?

  Early 18th century medical logic behind it is that hot air is going in, it's gonna dry out whatever it is.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  Fucking toxins in there, you know?

• 35:14H. Foley?

  And by the way, just to step back, I've been going in lakes and ponds my whole life. I don't love them, because they're creepy. If you're snorkeling in a lake, you're looking for something. That's gross. You better have an Instagram channel where you find weird shit.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  We gotta get you into magnet fishing.

• 35:36H. Foley?

  I keep seeing duds.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 35:38H. Foley?

  They don't get anything good. If I was pulling up a safe every time, I'd be in. I'm not going out to some fucking canal in Holland, fucking wasting my times for some bike.

• 35:49Speaker 01

  How you going all the way over there?

• 35:50H. Foley?

  That's where they do it.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  How you do it here?

• 35:53H. Foley?

  Not old enough.

• 35:53Speaker 01

  What's not? I mean, what are you looking for?

• 35:55H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  Did he do it here?

• 35:57H. Foley?

  Some jury.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  Gold grill?

• 36:02H. Foley?

  I don't want to pull up a fucking RPG, or some fucking shotgun.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  RPG? What are you talking about?

• 36:07H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  Where are you? You're pulling up an RPG out of my-

• 36:10H. Foley?

  I don't want to pull up some shotgun, fucking Frank Sheeran, use the fucking whack whoever in fucking 1940. Then all of a sudden, I got the guys from Billy and the Greek Mob looking for me.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  Someone's been watching The Irishman.

• 36:20H. Foley?

  I actually haven't. I'm away from my Netflix right now.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  If somebody's got a password out there, holla at your boy.

• 36:33H. Foley?

  Almost a perfect movie, The Irishman.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Did you see, the guy from the live show in Cleveland, we asked him what he did, he was a window washer. And I was like, oh, like, do you do the Instagram? And he's like, nah. I go, what are you doing? Fucking do it. Did it, it's getting millions of views.

• 36:48H. Foley?

  Shut the fuck up.

• 36:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I swear to God, he's hit me up because I just broke a million views.

• 36:51H. Foley?

  Hey, piece of that.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  That's what I said, let me wet my beak, fuck.

• 36:54H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Monetization.

• 36:56H. Foley?

  Look at that.

• 36:57Speaker 01

  I go, you make good money at the end? Shit, I'm on the wrong line of work. I get a window washer.

• 37:02H. Foley?

  What are you doing, robbing banks? That's awesome. Love to see that.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cleveland washer, or something like that. Comment, let them make sure the homies and bozos follow you.

• 37:13H. Foley?

  Very nice.

• 37:16Speaker 04

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• 37:44Speaker 05

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• 38:14Speaker 01

  Um, all right, let's see here. Um, this one, this is a great name. This is from Gleek Blurb Side Piece.

• 38:23H. Foley?

  You had me at Gleek Blurb.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Is it garbage to bury your great aunt with a six-pack of Bud heavies and a pack of straws and a carton of heaters when she died at age 97?

• 38:34H. Foley?

  Pack of straws?

• 38:35Speaker 01

  Those old broads used to drink it out of straws.

• 38:38H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  Um, she was tougher than 50 grit sandpaper. That might be the most trashy thing that anybody's ever submitted. She's tougher than 50 grit. Uh, hypothetically, is it trashier then to go six years later, dig them up with your high school buddies, and that was your first beer and your first heater you ever had?

• 38:58H. Foley?

  No.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  What he said, "Recently found out on my birthday that my wife was pregnant and my first child, and the first person I thought of was Kippy." Yay, there you go. Uh, "Thanks for the great pod, love yous."

• 39:09H. Foley?

  Wait, so they didn't bury it in the casket with her? They buried it on top?

• 39:13Speaker 01

  I don't know, maybe you laid it on top at the, like you go lay the thing, maybe they put it on top.

• 39:18H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  Maybe they did it like, they buried her like the dog in the backyard and it wasn't that, it was a shallow grave.

• 39:24H. Foley?

  Were you grave robbing for beers?

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Which it's like, you can't get your hands on beer, you gotta get a shovel?

• 39:29H. Foley?

  Like a smoke?

• 39:30Speaker 01

  There's gotta be a bar or steal from someone's parents. Listen, if your, if your nan is-

• 39:35H. Foley?

  Maybe the sentimentality of it.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  Who wants what?

• 39:39H. Foley?

  Nana's old beer.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  Also then, listen.

• 39:41H. Foley?

  That was a skunk dog.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  I left, I left heaters out overnight, not to mention underground for six years, them things are, those things are, got spiders on them. Those got spider eggs all over them, John.

• 39:52H. Foley?

  Jesus. Although burying people with stuff, you know, trashier items.

• 40:02H. Foley?

  As I get older, I'm-

• 40:03Speaker 01

  I get the sentimental, I get the, I, I, I get that for sure, um, we're, uh, you know, my stepdad's a big race car guy, so we'll do, we didn't bury him with anything, but there's a lot of-

• 40:16H. Foley?

  He had the helmet in the church.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Had the helmet, yeah, had the helmet in the church, which is trashy, I forgot about that. I had, that never clicked until just then.

• 40:24H. Foley?

  When I walked in, somebody behind me said, "Is that a race car helmet?"

• 40:28Speaker 01

  Is Dale Jr. here? Yeah, that was in the, that was right in the middle.

• 40:32H. Foley?

  Dude, that was, that was sitting in the middle of the aisle in a, in a Catholic church, like it was the Eucharist.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  It was, it was the first thing, it was right when you-

• 40:39H. Foley?

  There's a light shining on it.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  I never thought that was trashy.

• 40:47H. Foley?

  What? Are you serious?

• 40:49Speaker 01

  I was mourning, I have-

• 40:51H. Foley?

  It was on like a Roman-

• 40:52Speaker 01

  It was, it was on what they put the gifts, like the offerings on. It was what they put, it was the table they put, it was the holy table or whatever.

• 40:59H. Foley?

  There should have been like a bust of David or something like that on top of it.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was where like-

• 41:03H. Foley?

  Instead it was Mean Joe Kelly.

• 41:07Speaker 01

  Never finished above eight in his life. I'm kidding Buck, I love you.

• 41:10H. Foley?

  Put you in the wall.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  That guy was defensive, I'll tell you that much. If he didn't get you in turn four, he'd get you in the pits.

• 41:19H. Foley?

  Well, hit and run action, eh?

• 41:21Speaker 01

  Get you in a parking lot. Shoot the fade wheel.

• 41:25H. Foley?

  He's still in the, he's still in the race car.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  He's driving it home.

• 41:30H. Foley?

  Guy's driving down the street in his pickup truck after the race. All of a sudden, here comes, here comes old Buck.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  We're amateurs, man, relax. Guy's freaking, guy's got his kids in the car. Stead, dead's fucking trading paint with him.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  Rubbin's racing. That was my favorite, you know, let me see if you can get, if we can get your hands on these. There was a set of NASCAR lighters.

• 41:58Speaker 01

  They were wrapped, you know how like they would wrap like, they were just like regular Bicks, like the clear crackhead lighters? But they were wrapped with Na- they were NASCAR branded and they all had sayings on them. Trade in paint, rubbin's racing, like all this kinda stuff.

• 42:12H. Foley?

  Wait, Bick or the other ones? Clear is not Bick.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  It wasn't, no.

• 42:16H. Foley?

  That's shitty.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  They weren't, yeah, they were like the crackhead lighters.

• 42:18H. Foley?

  Right.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  I don't know, they were NASCAR lighters from the nineties. And he had them and I loved, they were like checkered flagged, I lo- I would get my hands on them. Anyway, they're sentimental to me, leave him at his gravesite.

• 42:30H. Foley?

  That wouldn't be a bad prank or something like that.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  What?

• 42:32H. Foley?

  Just get a, need to, you have to be under certain situation, certain conditions. But if you were just driving in your car and all of a sudden a NASCAR car came up next to you and started fucking slamming into you.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  Hey, fucking, leave that to the professionals. Um, what, uh, we used to do that anytime, you know, uh, we lost a lot of, a lot of young men in high school, uh, and the big thing was always, uh, go into the grave on the birthday and like smoking a blunt or having a forty. Lot of hypnotic.

• 43:04H. Foley?

  Dirt.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  Lot of bottle of Henny, leaving a blunt for him or, you know.

• 43:08H. Foley?

  It's what he would've wanted.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  It's what he would've wanted.

• 43:10H. Foley?

  Me to get high.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  People are dropping in the penjamins now, in the graves.

• 43:14Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 43:15H. Foley?

  Taking the pen with you?

• 43:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:17H. Foley?

  The vape pen.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  The weed pen, yeah.

• 43:18H. Foley?

  The weed pen.

• 43:20Speaker 01

  Did you get anything on these lighters?

• 43:21Speaker 03

  I'm looking.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  NASCAR lighters, 90s, they'll be on eBay. If so, place a bid, or find the buy now price for the boy.

• 43:28H. Foley?

  I never trust eBay. I feel like it's a closed store. They're still operating?

• 43:33Speaker 01

  What do you mean a closed store? It's not a...

• 43:36H. Foley?

  I feel like if you go-

• 43:36Speaker 01

  Are you going to eBay?

• 43:37H. Foley?

  No, I see it. I see it.

• 43:40Speaker 01

  Like, the website? Or are we talking about a store?

• 43:42H. Foley?

  No.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  The website?

• 43:43H. Foley?

  Yes. And like, if I type in, I don't know, Star Wars toys, eBay comes up. I just assume that that's an old picture and that that person is dead or not around.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  No, they're quite the opposite.

• 43:54H. Foley?

  Really?

• 43:55Speaker 01

  Ah, yeah.

• 43:56H. Foley?

  eBay's still popping.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  I got all your Christmas gifts on eBay.

• 43:59H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, eBay's the real deal holy field.

• 44:04Speaker 01

  Um...

• 44:05H. Foley?

  Woo, warming up.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Oh, you ain't lying. Talk about a heat wick. Somebody call up Evan's Eve and you'll fix the goddamn AC in here. He's in sales.

• 44:11H. Foley?

  Losing the room.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  Um, alright.

• 44:15H. Foley?

  It's been a few days.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  Let's see here. Uh, this one's from Cody Cheyenne. That's a name.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Uh, "Have you ever used a lighter to fix a shoelace?" That, I can't believe we've never talked about that.

• 44:28H. Foley?

  I have.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, for sure.

• 44:29H. Foley?

  Yeah, I saw somebody do it.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  Fixing string, fixing like a drawstring, or we would fix like the hoodie as well.

• 44:35H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  Tighten that up, because if you were chewing on it like in high school or whatever.

• 44:39H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 44:39Speaker 01

  Fucking zap that up, put a good knot on it.

• 44:41H. Foley?

  Turns to plastic.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:43H. Foley?

  Which is weird.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 44:44H. Foley?

  For string.

• 44:46Speaker 01

  Or thread too. You got a thread hanging, you fucking zzzzz.

• 44:49H. Foley?

  Oh, that's the best.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Remember, like, did you ever light your socks on fire?

• 44:52H. Foley?

  Why?

• 44:52Speaker 01

  You never did that?

• 44:53H. Foley?

  No.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  You got a lighter on you?

• 44:55H. Foley?

  Why?

• 44:56Speaker 01

  That's the best. I got brand new socks on, it's not gonna work. So-

• 45:00H. Foley?

  But does it scatter around like lightning?

• 45:02Speaker 01

  Follows you, like it like-

• 45:03H. Foley?

  Maybe I have seen that.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  Really? That was big. You're out, you're sitting on someone's back deck or something, catching heaters, having a few beers, summertime, got your socks on, phew, or do it to your buddy, it would... Look, you ever do that?

• 45:16Speaker 03

  Nah, we never did that.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Uh, what, am I the coolest guy in the world here?

• 45:19H. Foley?

  I've taken a lighter and gone down my thigh with it, sparking it up, and I've done the thing in my hand, like, oh.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  Cool guy, huh?

• 45:26H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  Got laid doing that.

• 45:28Speaker 01

  Um, no, yeah, like all like the little lint and fur and fuzz engulfs and it like burns off the layer.

• 45:35H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  It's like the, it's like the fucking space shuttle re coming back into the atmosphere.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  Fucking heat up.

• 45:42H. Foley?

  One second.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  Talk about losing the room.

• 45:44H. Foley?

  Need a heat shield.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Ah, man. Um, alright, let's see here. This is from Rafael. Twenty-dollar Latino homie, never have one read. Hola.

• 45:53H. Foley?

  Goma stats?

• 45:54Speaker 01

  Basura. Is it garbage you use wire cutters to cut your fingernails?

• 45:58H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  I've seen a lot of blue collar shit. That's fucking up there. Wire cutters, you know what?

• 46:08Speaker 01

  I was, I might had, I was thinking tin snips, which would be crazy.

• 46:12H. Foley?

  That's what I was thinking.

• 46:14Speaker 01

  You know, wire cutters make sense.

• 46:16H. Foley?

  Like needle nose pliers?

• 46:18Speaker 01

  No, those are needle nose pliers. Wire cutters are like short over, let me pull it up.

• 46:21H. Foley?

  I'll give you needle nose pliers.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  Why?

• 46:25H. Foley?

  Cause if you use the, you know, the, the, the cutting.

• 46:29Speaker 01

  That, the, wire cutters are just the, that, essentially, without the needle nose. Yeah. So why would you?

• 46:35H. Foley?

  Tin snips have the wave in the, at the top, right? Yeah.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, these. It's just like, it's the cutting version of

• 46:42H. Foley?

  Right.

• 46:42Speaker 01

  Needle nose pliers.

• 46:43H. Foley?

  Which, by the way, can I say something about needle nose pliers? The go-to instrument of death for Patti Foley. My whole life. Used it for everything.

• 46:54Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 46:55H. Foley?

  Every five minutes, "Go get me the needle nose pliers!"

• 46:58Speaker 01

  Why? Your mom's calling for some needle nose.

• 47:00H. Foley?

  We, we had, we had a blue handle. Had them for like forty years. Might still be sitting, I don't know.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  There's another one. I forget the name of it. Like, look, see if you can get this. The, the, they're thinner than needle nose. They're like alligator nose or crocodile nose, I think. They're like, it looks like something a dentist would use. It's like real electrician shit.

• 47:18H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Not like make, it's more like you get in deep.

• 47:21H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 47:21Speaker 01

  You got anything?

• 47:23H. Foley?

  Good for pulling wax out of a kid's ear.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  Alligator, uh...

• 47:28H. Foley?

  It's something like that. Crocodile nose.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  Alligator pliers.

• 47:31H. Foley?

  Alligator pliers.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  Maybe not. Yeah. D- Dykes.

• 47:36H. Foley?

  Which those are weird. You ever seen?

• 47:37Speaker 01

  Go get me my, that, that's, I never knew what that, I guess Dykes is a brand?

• 47:41H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  My dad, "Go get me my set of Dykes." That's all I ever heard. I was like, "This guy's a freak."

• 47:49H. Foley?

  You ever see that thing that's, it's an alligator, but not an alligator? It's called like a caiman or something like that?

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:55H. Foley?

  Where the-

• 47:55Speaker 01

  Those things will get ya.

• 47:56H. Foley?

  Where, where, where it's like, the, the mouth is really narrow, like very needle nose pliers-y. And the teeth are sticking out? Yikes. No, thank you.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  It's like Jurassic Park. I'm out.

• 48:08H. Foley?

  I don't want that thing near me.

• 48:09Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, I mean, the needle nose pliers, that makes sense. That's readily available. You get a good cut. You gotta have hefty fingers for that, though.

• 48:19H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 48:20Speaker 01

  You can't, like, broads can't be doing that.

• 48:22H. Foley?

  I don't think I could do it. I'm not man enough.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  No, I'm not. You gotta have like a fucking, you gotta be working with, you gotta be working with wire cutters if you're, you know.

• 48:30H. Foley?

  If you're doing that.

• 48:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, for sure.

• 48:32H. Foley?

  If you're in sales and you're doing that. Yikes. Stop lying to everybody.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  I ain't buying them. Um, alright, let's see. This is from Dylan. $10 homie, never had one read. Are you garbage if you fill your cup at a fast food restaurant with 80% diet soda and about 20% heavy? Just for a little flavor blast?

• 48:49H. Foley?

  Don't hate it.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  I can't believe I never really thought of that.

• 48:52H. Foley?

  No.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  And I can't believe we never heard of that. Uh, maybe we have and I just forget. That's pretty brilliant, I have to say.

• 48:58H. Foley?

  It's great. You know, I deal in absolutes all the time. I, I, I think very black and white's gotta be one way or the other. Usually to the extreme.

• 49:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:06H. Foley?

  It's the same thing that like I learned, uh, from smoking weed in high school. I don't have to smoke the whole joint. Just have a hit.

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Take a puff.

• 49:13H. Foley?

  Take a puff.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Puff puff piss.

• 49:14H. Foley?

  A little splash of regular soda in there. Alright.

• 49:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:18H. Foley?

  A little sugar.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 49:19H. Foley?

  Sweeten it up.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  A little dabble, do ya?

• 49:20H. Foley?

  Yeah. But I'll tell you this, now, these days, when I have a regular soda, I know it's regular soda. But 80% of the time, that Coke Zero, that Diet Cherry, Pepsi, you don't really know.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  Listen, I-

• 49:41H. Foley?

  I mean, you do and you don't.

• 49:42Speaker 01

  As, as you know, I'm, uh, I'm trying to fly a little straighter now to the baby's ear. Um- I've really su-

• 49:49H. Foley?

  Are you no DCs?

• 49:51Speaker 01

  Ah, yeah.

• 49:51H. Foley?

  What does that gotta do with anything? Who did they ever hurt? Why can't you have Diet Cola? You just don't wanna do it?

• 49:56Speaker 01

  There're chemicals in it, are-

• 49:57H. Foley?

  Chemicals.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  Listen. Listen, I'm not... I had, I was drinking... I was putting your-

• 50:04H. Foley?

  You wanna look good on film? That's what you're worried about.

• 50:06Speaker 01

  You were coming nowhere near my Diet Coke consumption. Nowhere near. I mean, I was putting up... I had to be in the top .001% in the world at consumption of Diet Coke.

• 50:17H. Foley?

  You had like math teacher numbers.

• 50:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was nuts. I, nobody, I, it was like, it was a fucking problem. We'd be in here, I'd do two bottles, ease. Two bottles.

• 50:27H. Foley?

  Yeah. When people drink-

• 50:29Speaker 01

  Then dude, I'd go out to the restaurant, I'm doing them at breakfast-

• 50:31H. Foley?

  The restaurant?

• 50:32Speaker 01

  Restaurant.

• 50:32H. Foley?

  What are you going with, Rickles?

• 50:33Speaker 01

  Gettin' Gere's.

• 50:34H. Foley?

  So you're at a table with Dean Martin?

• 50:37Speaker 01

  Frank, I'm eating here.

• 50:39H. Foley?

  Down to the espresso?

• 50:41Speaker 01

  I was, uh, I, it was too much, it was getting too bad, I'll do it, and I got, I got really fucking those, uh, La Croix's. As Connor Kelly calls them, work beers. I can crush those. Lot of them. But now I will treat myself to a diet cake if I'm out or whatever, and it's-

• 50:57H. Foley?

  Hits.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  It's like, it's like a real, it's like what a real cake used to feel like.

• 51:01H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:01Speaker 01

  I've, I've rea-, I've reacclimated myself.

• 51:04H. Foley?

  Remember what John Chris said about, uh, in rehab, like, you have to bring yourself down to zero? So like, you can appreciate? You know what I mean? There's no way that you can appreciate life when you're, you know, going full blast, cause nothing compares to it. But when you bring yourself down, then you have to Diet Coke. Feels good.

• 51:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:23H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  Are you bringing yourself down?

• 51:24H. Foley?

  Wanna go rehab?

• 51:26Speaker 01

  Push comes to show.

• 51:27H. Foley?

  No, I'm saying, if you don't have the regular stuff in a long time, it does hit.

• 51:30Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would also argue even the diet cake's a little too sweet for me now.

• 51:35H. Foley?

  Oh my god.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  It's like-

• 51:36H. Foley?

  You know what used to fucking drive me-

• 51:38Speaker 01

  I hate, I hate what I've become. I gotta get healthy, man, I gotta fucking ki-, one of us gotta get healthy.

• 51:42H. Foley?

  I'm getting healthy.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  We can't, we can't be two holograms doing the show.

• 51:46H. Foley?

  I'm getting healthy.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  One of us has to host, the other can be a hologram.

• 51:49H. Foley?

  I'm getting healthy, and I'm happy you're getting healthy, and I completely understand-

• 51:52Speaker 01

  I wasn't sound like it.

• 51:53H. Foley?

  I'm just busting your balls, but you know what I used to hate? As a fat guy-

• 51:57Speaker 01

  You're fat?

• 51:58H. Foley?

  Yes. As a fat guy with eating addictions, um-

• 52:02Speaker 01

  Hot as shit in here.

• 52:03H. Foley?

  It's crazy hot.

• 52:04Speaker 01

  Turn the air on, turn the air on, we gotta.

• 52:06H. Foley?

  I feel the wood. The wood, the wood's hot.

• 52:08Speaker 01

  The wood's warpin', dude, get a frying egg out of here. Uh, just, yeah, turn the, turn, turn this air on.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Where are you going?

• 52:18Speaker 01

  Turn this arrow, well, just, the noise is fine, at this point.

• 52:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, Jesus Christ, you get this guy from behind that desk, he freaks out.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  I know.

• 52:26H. Foley?

  You just tried to walk out of the room!

• 52:27Speaker 01

  That's it, I'm leaving.

• 52:28H. Foley?

  Where the hell were you going?

• 52:32Speaker 01

  Just, it's fine, just turn it on something. I'm fucking...

• 52:36H. Foley?

  Dude, the cameras are on.

• 52:37Speaker 01

  I feel like it's kinda hot in these rhinos right now, dude.

• 52:41H. Foley?

  That'd be funny, we should do one just in our underwear. Sexy.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  We did a, remember we did an old Center City comedy, topless, I think?

• 52:48H. Foley?

  Maybe.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  Cause it was hot. There was no video of that. We all sat around with our fucking man boobs there.

• 52:53H. Foley?

  Scrub.

• 52:53Speaker 01

  Oh, that's... that's alright.

• 52:56H. Foley?

  Wow. You apologize, it's a little noo- hot in here!

• 52:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, we can fucking room tone it, or, send that to NASA to get the buzz taken, I need ear conditioning.

• 53:04H. Foley?

  What I was gonna say, human.

• 53:08H. Foley?

  As someone who has a very strong connection to especially the sweeter side of food.

• 53:16H. Foley?

  Hearing somebody say, "That's too sweet," or "That's too rich," "Oh, that's too rich for me," "It's a little too sweet for me." I, I'm not shitting on it, I wish I had that.

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 53:29H. Foley?

  I, I understand that less than fucking hieroglyphics. I don't get that, what does that mean? It's too sweet? I couldn't imagine.

• 53:41H. Foley?

  There's only a certain point of sweet, it doesn't just keep going. You know what I mean?

• 53:47Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 53:47H. Foley?

  I just don't get it.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  For you, you're what you just explained, your barometer is if it's not 99 degrees, you don't break a sweat. You break a sweat in 32, if I had to be honest with you.

• 53:58H. Foley?

  Cool, under pressure.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  But...

• 54:00H. Foley?

  But I get the analogy.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, and also there's stuff for you, you're like, "Ah, it's too seafood, it's too whatever," it's like, that...

• 54:05H. Foley?

  Uh-uh.

• 54:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 54:08H. Foley?

  Too fishy, maybe.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  Okay, but I, someone could argue, fishy's just fishy. You see what you're saying? Someone who eats fish every day is like, "That's, you're talking to a Norwegian guy, he's gonna go, that's just fishy."

• 54:19H. Foley?

  A fish on Tuesday is a lot less fishy than a fish on Friday. Same fish, obviously. It's gonna be more fishy on Friday, it's gonna be bad, but...

• 54:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you're talking about the duration of the fish, I'm talking about scale of different fish. See what I'm saying?

• 54:33H. Foley?

  No.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  I know you don't. This is why you don't understand more sweet.

• 54:36H. Foley?

  What can be too sweet? It's too rich.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  To you, nothing.

• 54:39H. Foley?

  Jeez, that's too rich for me. What the fuck does that mean?

• 54:44Speaker 01

  Listen, I'm trying to answer and you're telling me no, so I don't know how to go from here.

• 54:48H. Foley?

  I just don't know if you're...

• 54:50Speaker 01

  Do you see what I'm saying?

• 54:52H. Foley?

  You're saying different species of fish. Not the same fish.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  I'm not...

• 54:56H. Foley?

  Not the same fish a week later.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Fuck the fish.

• 54:59H. Foley?

  Cause that will be more fishier.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not saying the same fish a week later, no.

• 55:03H. Foley?

  Okay. Okay.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  You see what I'm saying?

• 55:05H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  Nothing's gonna be too sweet for you. You have to understand that, that not everybody has the same palate as you have. Does that make sense?

• 55:13H. Foley?

  Cause I'm an animal.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  You just described this with the John Crist, uh, zero to a hundred. Oh, my Drake over here, real quick. Yeah, your barometer shot. So you're going, "That's too sweet." That's all I'm saying.

• 55:27H. Foley?

  Too sweet for me.

• 55:28Speaker 01

  Uh...

• 55:29H. Foley?

  Never.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  We got you.

• 55:31H. Foley?

  Now what are you doing?

• 55:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 55:36H. Foley?

  This guy.

• 55:39Speaker 01

  Fucking heat's getting to us.

• 55:40H. Foley?

  Woo wee, I like it.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, this one's from Davis the Door Guy. "Are you garbage if you make your trade your whole personality? By the way, if you ever need any type of door, automatic, swing, slider, revolving, I'm your guy."

• 55:53H. Foley?

  My man!

• 55:54Speaker 01

  Signed, Davis the Door Guy.

• 55:55H. Foley?

  Whoa!

• 55:55Speaker 01

  Also, who the fuck needs a revolving door? That's crazy.

• 55:58H. Foley?

  I didn't know that's how it worked.

• 56:00Speaker 01

  What?

• 56:00H. Foley?

  That... I thought people that sold revolving doors sold revolving doors, people that automatics sold automatics, and regular doors, regular doors.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  Man.

• 56:08H. Foley?

  I didn't know they had it like that.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Some ideas are just too rich for you, huh?

• 56:11H. Foley?

  Too sweet. That's awesome.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  You don't think a door guy does other doors?

• 56:15H. Foley?

  No!

• 56:15Speaker 01

  Window, what?

• 56:16H. Foley?

  No. I would think that like...

• 56:19Speaker 01

  That's gotta be a big revolving door, so you're telling me a revolving door business is sitting there, and some guy, you're ABC Doors, and he calls, he's like, "Hey, I'm looking for, uh, you know, automatic swinging doors." And you went, "I can't help you, I'm strictly, strictly..."

• 56:37H. Foley?

  We don't do them. Unfortunately, we don't do them. We just do residential, regular, front doors, or inside doors. Whatever.

• 56:45Speaker 01

  I would argue residential doors and revolving doors might be different, but a revolving door, whatever door a grocery store needs is gonna be the same door guy, whether it's revolving, sliding, automatic.

• 56:57H. Foley?

  Okay, the commercial space, I guess that makes sense, yeah.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  You're not putting a revolving door in your crib, talk about fucking robbing banks, that's crazy, that'd be sweet.

• 57:05H. Foley?

  That'd be sweet. Or just an automatic door. To have an automatic door in the backyard going outside, that'd be pretty cool.

• 57:11Speaker 01

  That's not bad.

• 57:12H. Foley?

  Throw one of those AC blasters.

• 57:14Speaker 01

  That, the wall of air, I remember, I think we were in Williamsburg, Virginia.

• 57:19H. Foley?

  You know why they do that?

• 57:20Speaker 01

  Keep the bugs in the air out.

• 57:22H. Foley?

  Can't keep the bug man out though.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  Coming in a window.

• 57:27Speaker 01

  I come up from the bottom. I come up from the subfloor, baby.

• 57:30H. Foley?

  There was a mosquito on the ceiling last night and I was like, "You can't fuck with me."

• 57:35H. Foley?

  "I'm the bug man."

• 57:36Speaker 01

  "I control you." Uh, yeah, when we learned that, it was like that wall of air, and that was like the brand called like wall, or air curtain or wall of air or something. And me and my brother, two, I mean, cause like, we just grew up in the construction industry, like, so it was like, that was cool to us. Of like, wow, and then my dad going, "You see that?" Like, he, that was like a, you know, he had only heard about them, now he's seeing them, and then he's like... So he would show it up, "Look at that, that thing," you know, ah, we were sitting there like, what the... Walking through it, back and forth. "Don't play with it, don't play with it."

• 58:11H. Foley?

  "You'll break it."

• 58:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. That, my family really

• 58:16Speaker 01

  is conscientious of motors and machines working. We don't like overworking them, I think because we've always had to fix them, you know what I mean? So it was always like, "Don't overwork it. Don't, you don't run the air too much, you don't like..." It was very... Let the machine rest a little bit, let him, you know, let him get his, let him get his eight hours.

• 58:37H. Foley?

  Don't use it too much.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, like, nah, you know what I mean. Now I think like a plane, a plane's just fucking running constantly.

• 58:42H. Foley?

  No, don't think about that. Don't think about that. I, dude, I never, that never occurred. I knew they flew back, I just assumed they flew back. I didn't know that it was just fucking...

• 58:54H. Foley?

  Once checking that in between, like, in between each flight, there should be somebody walking around checking the wires.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  I think they do, but I was always under the-

• 59:05H. Foley?

  Not to the degree that I would like.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  Sure, I was-

• 59:07H. Foley?

  We, sorry, we've seen planes exchange. They pull in, people get off, they fucking, they, they clean it, and then we're on there.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  I know, I was always under the impression of going, give this a couple hours, let him chill.

• 59:18H. Foley?

  Let it cool down.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  He just, he did the best, he got everybody here safe and sound, he deserved, fill them up with premium, let them fucking-

• 59:26H. Foley?

  Let it cool down.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Hold on a TV show, let them chill it.

• 59:29H. Foley?

  Let it chill, yeah.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  Maybe hit the lounge.

• 59:32H. Foley?

  Crazy, which is also way more impressive when you think about it. Whoever turns off their iPhone, that thing's just running.

• 59:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, mine dies a lot, but yeah.

• 59:45H. Foley?

  Still, say what you want about it.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  No.

• 59:46H. Foley?

  What other thing is just going?

• 59:49Speaker 01

  Forever.

• 59:50H. Foley?

  Nuts.

• 59:51Speaker 01

  Um.

• 59:53H. Foley?

  That's why I don't trust it. Something's going on.

• 59:58H. Foley?

  Little element fifteen in there, what's it called? Element one fifteen? Eh? Little E fifteen? E one fifteen?

• 1:00:06H. Foley?

  You know what that is?

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Uh, no.

• 1:00:08H. Foley?

  Of course you don't.

• 1:00:11H. Foley?

  It's because you're still blinded.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  What is it?

• 1:00:15H. Foley?

  Anti-gravity element, not found on Earth. According to certain gentlemen, it's the, uh, power source for, uh, certain

• 1:00:27H. Foley?

  alien aircraft.

• 1:00:30H. Foley?

  Or that's what some ancient alien astronaut theorist would suspect. I always loved that. Now you like the show, or whatever, fuck me.

• 1:00:40Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:00:41H. Foley?

  Guy talking about air conditioning, trying to expand his mind.

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  I'm pretty sure you think you're a bug.

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  Listen, talk about, you're not expanding my mind, okay? You were talking to a mosquito last night.

• 1:00:55H. Foley?

  No, I was yelling at a mosquito last night.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  That's very different.

• 1:00:59H. Foley?

  It was a very one-sided conversation.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  He doesn't speak English.

• 1:01:02H. Foley?

  And then I got him later. Boom, got him. Them and roaches, only thing I kill. And a centipede if I came across it.

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  Oh, I got a silverfish the other night.

• 1:01:13H. Foley?

  Why?

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  I was, why? I gotta protect my family, I was, I was feeding the baby.

• 1:01:17H. Foley?

  They do bite.

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  Man, I fucking dad mode engaged, I hit him.

• 1:01:22H. Foley?

  Real tough guy.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  Cause I couldn't, he was asleep, I forget what it was, baby was asleep or something, I fucking.

• 1:01:27H. Foley?

  The silverfish?

• 1:01:28Speaker 01

  No, he was.

• 1:01:28H. Foley?

  Oh, the baby was sleeping.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  The silverfish was not sleeping, that guy was cooking.

• 1:01:32H. Foley?

  Squirming?

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  And he was coming, I, he had me in his sights, cause he was up there, like, and he fought across the ceiling into my, into my, into my area. I go, hey, you're on the ceiling, I can't get you, pretty high ceilings. Stay up there.

• 1:01:48H. Foley?

  You're behind you!

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  He started coming down, I said, no thank you, then I lost him, which, head on a swivel, sleeping baby, just got him down in my arms, I can't fucking, now do I get attacked by a silverfish? And now I'm sleeping on a couch. Cause it's late.

• 1:02:04H. Foley?

  That's a prime time spot, he's just waiting for you to fall asleep.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  He gonna be in my nose, dude.

• 1:02:09H. Foley?

  He'll come, he'll come up the thing, go into one of the cushions, he got all them cushions to wig right through, and a clear shot up in the crevasse. Yeah, right to your nutsack.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  I pictured him fucking crawling over my, my mustache, just fucking.

• 1:02:21H. Foley?

  Crawling in and out of your nose.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  And I'm going.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  Oh my Steve-O.

• 1:02:28H. Foley?

  Have you ever seen the thing that looks like a silverfish, but it's a little more hairy, little more caterpillary, and it has two long spikes in the front? I don't know what that guy is.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  They're like, yeah, no, I don't mess with them.

• 1:02:41H. Foley?

  Mm-mm.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  I don't.

• 1:02:42H. Foley?

  Like, they look.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  They like get you, they look like they bite. Silverfish, she's out for a stroll, they look like. Oh, don't fuck me, that scared the shit out of me.

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  An earwig.

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  An earwig?

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  I believe. These things have got pincers.

• 1:02:59H. Foley?

  Bug man, yeah. Ain't talking us!

• 1:03:02H. Foley?

  All right, Bug Man should know. Yeah, I don't like those things.

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  But I looped my foot back and I got him with my big toe. Right in the corner of the wall.

• 1:03:10H. Foley?

  Wait, were you shoeless?

• 1:03:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, at my house.

• 1:03:13H. Foley?

  Wait, you're killing bugs shoeless?

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  I had to protect my child.

• 1:03:17H. Foley?

  I am stunned.

• 1:03:19Speaker 01

  Dude, this is a killer be killed in these streets.

• 1:03:20H. Foley?

  You squashed a bug with your bare toe.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  What else am I gonna do?

• 1:03:25H. Foley?

  Ew.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, talk about icky toes.

• 1:03:28H. Foley?

  Charles Groban. What? That's nuts. I would never.

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, what are you talking about?

• 1:03:35H. Foley?

  Ever since the thing about the roaches and the eggs, when you squash it, the eggs get on your shoe.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  That's not true.

• 1:03:40H. Foley?

  Exactly, you probably got silverfish fucking growing in your toe. Good luck getting that out. You're a little more Lotrimin.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  Lamest of.

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  All right, we gotta wrap it up.

• 1:03:50H. Foley?

  Gang!

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:03:52H. Foley?

  We love you to death.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  Sure do.

• 1:03:53H. Foley?

  Grab those tickets for the live show.

• 1:03:55Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:03:55H. Foley?

  Join the Patreon. Join the Patreon, come out and see us. And we'll see you next week.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  Peace.