How To Pay With Change w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Pretty Litter: Right now save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy at https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage Brunt Workwear: Get $10 Off @BRUNT with code GARBAGE at https://bruntworkwear.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  I probably consume 56 ounces of Diet Coke, a bag of chips, and I'm talking a heavy bike bowl.

• 0:09Speaker 01

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

• 0:28H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:35Speaker 00

  Hey, yeah.

• 0:36H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out that you're to be classy.

• 0:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:41H. Foley?

  But you're just a big old piece of trash.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  Garbage.

• 0:44H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toody's in a new addition. She is on her way to Kyoto, Japan.

• 0:51Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 0:52H. Foley?

  For the weekend.

• 0:53Speaker 00

  For the weekend.

• 0:54H. Foley?

  Popping back. She's got a three-night, four-day stay out there in Kyoto. Gonna get Hiroshima and Nagasaki. See what's going on over there.

• 1:02Speaker 00

  Sure, her boots on the ground.

• 1:03H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from across the table. It's what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage. He is an international businessman, but always king of the burbs, baby. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.

• 1:16Speaker 00

  What up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify.

• 1:24H. Foley?

  I'm in the charts!

• 1:25Speaker 00

  I mean, listen.

• 1:26H. Foley?

  We're in the charts over there on Spotify. Look out!

• 1:29Speaker 00

  We're the hot kids on the block. New kids on the block coming in. How you doing? Only 40 and 50 years old, new kids on the block coming to get you.

• 1:37H. Foley?

  Trying to be like that Joe Santagato.

• 1:39Speaker 00

  Uh, shout out to the basement yard.

• 1:41H. Foley?

  Woo!

• 1:42Speaker 00

  Obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.

• 1:49H. Foley?

  Yes, sir. Midsummer days here.

• 1:53Speaker 00

  Midsummer days. You're a big season guy. Love a season. You love the next season. You love the last season. You love seasoning.

• 2:02H. Foley?

  A little old seasoning?

• 2:04Speaker 00

  Woo, man.

• 2:05H. Foley?

  What was that one? Was it all seasoning?

• 2:07Speaker 00

  All Spice or something like that. Old Spice.

• 2:09H. Foley?

  No.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  All seasons.

• 2:12H. Foley?

  Or no? Seasoning salt. I don't know what that did.

• 2:15Speaker 00

  You ever have Janes mixed up crazy salt?

• 2:17H. Foley?

  Excuse me?

• 2:17Speaker 00

  Just had some of that on pizza at my sister's house.

• 2:19H. Foley?

  Had some bath salts once. Down there in Miami.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Woke up, ate someone's face off.

• 2:25H. Foley?

  Got that Gator skin.

• 2:26Speaker 00

  I think that caught a bad rap. That guy was just gonna eat someone's face to begin with.

• 2:30H. Foley?

  Bath salts?

• 2:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was like the guy was got caught eating someone's face.

• 2:34H. Foley?

  He wasn't doing bath salts like, ah, relaxing, like a bath bomb.

• 2:38Speaker 00

  I think that's what, not a bath bomb. I think they're sold, I never, can you get?

• 2:41H. Foley?

  The drug, that's a street, that's a street name.

• 2:45Speaker 00

  But I think it started.

• 2:46H. Foley?

  Called bath salts. It wasn't actual bath salts. He wasn't sniffing Epsom salt.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  No, but it was being sold that like you could buy it at like a fucking head shop as bath salts. I believe like under the guy of this is a bath salt.

• 2:58H. Foley?

  I'm telling you, these fucking.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  They'll figure out a way to get, listen.

• 3:01H. Foley?

  These second hand off brand drugs. You gotta stick to the original stuff. That's the way I look at it.

• 3:06Speaker 00

  Heroin.

• 3:07H. Foley?

  You go, you go old school. I'm just saying.

• 3:09Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 3:09H. Foley?

  You know, there's Delta nine, whatever the shit is.

• 3:12Speaker 00

  I don't mess with that.

• 3:13H. Foley?

  No.

• 3:13Speaker 00

  What do you got?

• 3:14Speaker 03

  It's all that synthetic stuff. They can get away with it. So they were, they were selling bath salts at head shops and stuff like that.

• 3:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  Like, when you say bath salts, you mean actual bath salts? Like I put it in the tub and relax? No, the you go crazy kind. You go crazy kind.

• 3:27Speaker 00

  Listen, I'm sure if you smoked a bath bomb, you'd get pretty fucked up.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  You go crazy seasoning salt? Like when they used to sell like K2 and stuff.

• 3:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. In Wildwood, it was they were ecstasy cigarettes. They were a black, and you didn't have to be 18 to buy them. They were, it wasn't ecstasy, but they were called ecstasy and they like, you know, got you, they were, you know, some sort of synthetic fucking cannabinoid.

• 3:47H. Foley?

  Relax, get me back to my fucking club days.

• 3:50Speaker 00

  That's when it ju, that's when it jumped the shark. When I learned that, when I, when I started, when you started hearing like cannabinoids and like, fucking, it's a compound. It's like, dude, just get a, just get a bag of Schwigert's, okay? Hit some Mexican brickweed and get lifted.

• 4:04H. Foley?

  You plant a couple of seeds in a little cup, you put it in your window, you water it, and then when it gets a leaf form, you start freaking out that the fucking DEA's coming. Got the hot spot on the roof.

• 4:14Speaker 00

  My first was like, I'm out, was my boy. He was like, he was our first hippie. Got into fish, he got into like Keller Williams, like all these like independent fucking.

• 4:25H. Foley?

  Widespread panic. I was supposed to go to a wide.

• 4:28Speaker 00

  That's what you have constantly.

• 4:30H. Foley?

  Kids are all cool. I was supposed to go to a widespread panic show in Athens, Georgia. I said.

• 4:36Speaker 00

  But you'll lose a bet?

• 4:36H. Foley?

  Fuck that.

• 4:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, no way. But this, he started talking about, we were like 8th grade and he was like, "You can't eat weed, you gotta neutralize it with the bu-" it's the, and I remember, you can't just ba- he was trying to explain to me, you can't just bake weed in brownies, you gotta make the butter to break down the fiber. And I'm like, dude, shut the fu-

• 4:56H. Foley?

  You're just eating a bud?

• 4:57Speaker 00

  I'm like, I just want a brownie, dude.

• 5:00H. Foley?

  You can't just eat a bud that won't get you high?

• 5:02Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 5:02H. Foley?

  What? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  You gotta put it in the oven and like bake it for a bit.

• 5:06H. Foley?

  Ah, oh my god, here he goes, fucking-

• 5:08Speaker 03

  I know.

• 5:08H. Foley?

  Luke Matthews.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  I'll dork it up for you, bud.

• 5:10Speaker 00

  Wait, like Dave Matthews?

• 5:15H. Foley?

  Hey, man.

• 5:17Speaker 00

  Luke Matthews sounds like an outside linebacker.

• 5:19H. Foley?

  Luke Matthews from Penn State?

• 5:21Speaker 00

  School of hard- school of the hard.

• 5:23H. Foley?

  Went to Juco for a couple of years, trying to get his shit together.

• 5:26Speaker 00

  Um, I got a little something I wanna get into before we get, uh, started over here-

• 5:30H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 5:31Speaker 00

  On the program.

• 5:32H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  We've been dirtbags for a long time in our life, down on our luck, slow on cash, you know, uh, stringing together some change here and there.

• 5:42H. Foley?

  Let me see.

• 5:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, we've, I've paid for my fa- listen. Paid for my fair share of stuff with chain, collecting change, picking quarters out, fucking hit. Uh, this is how I always did. I saw someone paying in change recently, and it really threw me through a mix.

• 5:56H. Foley?

  Kind of change we talking? Nickel's dimes?

• 5:58Speaker 00

  Let me get to, let me get to the, let me, I'll get there. So, I was always a sha- I was shameful that I was broke, right? So I would take my fourteen dollars, I'd go hit the Coinstar at the SuperFresh. Let them wet their beak on it.

• 6:12H. Foley?

  For fourteen?

• 6:13Speaker 00

  Oh yeah.

• 6:14H. Foley?

  You're doing small bet transactions? I never, I never, I never make the effort to go to a Coinstar unless I got a hundy on it.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  That, dude, I don't think I've ever had a hundy at a Coin- I was going-

• 6:25H. Foley?

  Really?

• 6:25Speaker 00

  I, sometimes I'd get single denomination. I was just looking for a pack of heaters. So I would get, I'd raid my mom's house-

• 6:32H. Foley?

  You go to the gas station.

• 6:33Speaker 00

  With what?

• 6:34H. Foley?

  It's all, they, listen, you go to a, you go to a shitty gas station, there's no, it's like a fucking Planet Fitness.

• 6:40Speaker 00

  I know.

• 6:41H. Foley?

  No judgments.

• 6:41Speaker 00

  I know, but-

• 6:42H. Foley?

  They want the quarters.

• 6:44Speaker 00

  It helped my confidence. I walk out of there fucking counting bills, dog. Plus, so you get the receipt, I take that to the customer service desk, I go, "Yo, let me get a pack of Marlboro Milds." Take it out of there, give me the cash back.

• 6:57H. Foley?

  Wait, you're handing them a marker?

• 6:58Speaker 00

  What do you, they get, no, the Coinstar prints you out a ticket. You gotta take that ticket to the customer service, which is so happen-

• 7:04H. Foley?

  I do it in line.

• 7:05Speaker 00

  Nah, I mean, nah, nah, I'm going, I'm going to the cashier.

• 7:07H. Foley?

  You're, you're, hold on, you're going to the customer service center at a, at a grocery store with the chip in your hand.

• 7:14Speaker 00

  With the what?

• 7:15H. Foley?

  With the dupe. With the ticket.

• 7:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:17H. Foley?

  The winning lottery ticket.

• 7:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:20H. Foley?

  You don't even-

• 7:20Speaker 00

  I'm a high roller. Go to, I go right to the cage.

• 7:22H. Foley?

  So you don't say, "Hey, give me fourteen dollars for this, then I wanna make a separate transaction with some cigarettes." You say, "Take my marker, okay?

• 7:34H. Foley?

  Take the heaters out of there and give me the change?"

• 7:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, I go, "Can I get a pack of Marlboro Lights?"

• 7:39H. Foley?

  They give you a room too with that?

• 7:42Speaker 00

  Free turkey, then, then. At that point, at that point, I was smoking Marlboro Milds.

• 7:47H. Foley?

  Marlboro Milds?

• 7:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, the head, the, the medium, uh-

• 7:51H. Foley?

  Were you on tour with somebody?

• 7:52Speaker 00

  The, they were the medium menthols.

• 7:54H. Foley?

  What'd your boyfriend do at the time?

• 7:56Speaker 00

  What? That was a, no, that was a dude cig.

• 7:58H. Foley?

  No, Marlboro Milds?

• 7:59Speaker 00

  The Blues?

• 8:00H. Foley?

  No.

• 8:01Speaker 00

  You're nuts. They don't even make that no more.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  I've never seen the Blues before.

• 8:05Speaker 00

  They used to be buy one, get one. That's how they, that's-

• 8:07H. Foley?

  That's a lady cig.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  No. Nah, I'm telling you.

• 8:10H. Foley?

  That's for a lady.

• 8:11Speaker 00

  No, broad-

• 8:11H. Foley?

  That's for a girl with sun in her hair and a hemp necklace.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  No, Marlboro menthol lights is what they smoked.

• 8:17H. Foley?

  Marlboro menthol lights, oh, that's what-

• 8:19Speaker 00

  That's a hooker cig. That's what that is.

• 8:22H. Foley?

  That's a tugboat.

• 8:23Speaker 00

  Uh-

• 8:26H. Foley?

  Marlboro menthol lights.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  I, I've dabbled with them a little bit.

• 8:31H. Foley?

  Remember the ultralights?

• 8:32Speaker 00

  I, I couldn't feel them.

• 8:33H. Foley?

  When you wanted a headache.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  My sister, my, I'd steal them out of my sister's fucking center console when she, she don't smoke no more, but she was, and like, I-

• 8:41H. Foley?

  Those weren't even good on the south end of an eight ball. They were bad.

• 8:43Speaker 00

  Nah, they didn't do nothing. If you were drunk, that, that was like, I was like breathing a, I was like breathing-

• 8:48H. Foley?

  Makes you sick.

• 8:49Speaker 00

  I know. Um, whatever, that's what I would do. I liked, I would, especially into college and after that, I would fucking, I, I, I would go in, I, I'd make sure I was quarter heavy. If I am paying in straight change, make sure I'm quarter heavy. They're kinda, I know that I got five here, and I know what I'm buying, I know how much, I go, "Okay, one, two, three, four, five." Bing, bop, boom.

• 9:11H. Foley?

  This is heaters, this is snacks?

• 9:12Speaker 00

  This is whatever.

• 9:13H. Foley?

  This is at a gas station?

• 9:14Speaker 00

  Gas, wah-wah, yeah, gas station, NX, uh, whatever, what have you.

• 9:18H. Foley?

  Where do you think the garbage line of that stops? Where can you pay in change and where does it stop?

• 9:24Speaker 00

  I would say a gas sta-, well, like, see, this is different, cause like, not everywhere accepted credit. Like, so like, you could have seven dollars in your bank account. Which, and go get a dollar slice, which before, there used to be a five, there used to be minimums everywhere. That's not the case anymore.

• 9:38H. Foley?

  Yeah, they don't do that anymore. There's no minimum on credit cards anymore, right?

• 9:40Speaker 00

  No. Dude, remember you, they would, at a bodega, if you were like, "Hey, it's $4", and you'd be like, "I gotta pay card", they'd be like, "Fuck, you gotta get something else." Now, they don't even ask for, they just start tapping it in and turn the-

• 9:53H. Foley?

  Single transaction.

• 9:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, even for like, you know-

• 9:56H. Foley?

  You got a piece of Bazooka Joe, throw it on the hammocks.

• 9:58Speaker 00

  Hey, that's what we've been doing, tapping bop.

• 10:01H. Foley?

  Um- Read the funnies.

• 10:02Speaker 00

  So, I remember the dollar slice places used to not take-

• 10:06H. Foley?

  That's a cash business.

• 10:07Speaker 00

  That's a ca- You ain't lying, but, so-

• 10:11H. Foley?

  They're like, people snooping around.

• 10:12Speaker 00

  That's how I operated. I remember, you know, even in my times in New York before, uh, before you were like-

• 10:17H. Foley?

  Can we switch to all cash?

• 10:18Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 10:19H. Foley?

  Mailing, mailing in the cash.

• 10:22Speaker 00

  Like, what the fuck is-

• 10:25Speaker 00

  Cash on demand, you're paying the Uber dri- or you're paying the fucking, uh, Amazon driver and shit? Um, so, I was at a, I was at a coffee shop, not too long ago.

• 10:36H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 10:37Speaker 00

  Like, not a Starbucks, like, so here's my thing, we can break it down. Woman was, a wo- a grown woman, like, dressed like kinda not, like, not- Po- didn't, didn't resonate she needed to be buying, here's my thing. She's paying for like a $6, it was like $6.97 or something. She got like a frappuccino latte, something like that. She pays for the whole thing, not hot, I think. Pays for the whole thing in change. Which like, I'm not sure why that purchase is being made in change.

• 11:12H. Foley?

  I can explain.

• 11:14Speaker 00

  Please.

• 11:16H. Foley?

  I got a sneeze coming. Give me a sec.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  Ah, you!

• 11:21H. Foley?

  Woo!

• 11:22Speaker 00

  You kiss king.

• 11:23H. Foley?

  Man, AC is really getting to me.

• 11:28H. Foley?

  Regular people, people that do well, people that are sharp with their money. They sometimes accidentally accrue change that they have no shame or qualms spending when it gets full enough. It's nothing to them. I gotta get rid of this. I don't want it in my car anymore.

• 11:48Speaker 00

  I would argue no one has $7 worth of change in their car because no one's spending cash like that.

• 11:54H. Foley?

  You think she was jammed up?

• 11:56Speaker 00

  Ah, this is what I'm saying. I don't know. Why are you ordering? You're, ah, this is where I'm coming from. You're ordering a $7 coffee. If you don't have, if you're paying, if you need to pay in change, I don't think you're getting a $7 coffee at the Fufu boutique spot.

• 12:09H. Foley?

  If you're used to it.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  There's a Wawa, but like if you only have $7, why not go, let me get a pack of Zins and a 99 cent coffee?

• 12:18H. Foley?

  Because she got caught up in spending outside of her limit. She probably has a good job. She probably has a good job.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  Nice boss.

• 12:25H. Foley?

  She does well and then, you know, shit went south, you know, not her fault.

• 12:31Speaker 00

  Overextended herself?

• 12:32H. Foley?

  Overextended herself, got caught up with the wrong people.

• 12:34Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 12:35H. Foley?

  Ended up at the wrong parties, doing the wrong things.

• 12:37Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 12:38H. Foley?

  And now she's trying to get it all back together, but she's in a little bit of a slump right now. But she knows that when she walks into the office and everyone's wearing Dior and Gucci and Burberry and they got the bindi bags and all that stuff, she can't walk in with an A plus cup of coffee. Cause they'll be like, hey, Debbie's back on the Yak, everybody.

• 13:00Speaker 00

  Debbie's jammed the fuck up.

• 13:01H. Foley?

  Debbie's jammed the fuck up. She's gotta keep up the appearances until the check comes in next month. And she's all straightened out, if I had to guess.

• 13:11Speaker 00

  Just not speaking from person.

• 13:13H. Foley?

  Good looking woman?

• 13:14Speaker 00

  Older. The here's my, here's what draw my attention to it. It would say, whatever, I think it was 697. She dropped the nine, she got clean with the six dollars. Counted out the six.

• 13:28H. Foley?

  And hit him with a ninety-seven?

• 13:29Speaker 00

  But then dropped all the ninety-seven on the ground, like by accident.

• 13:33H. Foley?

  Oh, she's going through it. Girl, call me.

• 13:36Speaker 00

  She's got the shakes. She's detoxing, now that I think about it. She's, she's got a bit of the DT.

• 13:41H. Foley?

  And it ain't from no cafe latte.

• 13:43Speaker 00

  I'll tell you that. That's all she can afford at the moment to keep it.

• 13:46H. Foley?

  That's probably your goddamn breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She needs a cup of coffee to get today. She's been up all night.

• 13:52Speaker 00

  I don't know. I mean, listen, that, I, I, I was too shameful and what, you know, some people, you know, that was just a thing for me of like-

• 13:59H. Foley?

  Now, a gentleman, if you don't mind, would have stepped in and said, "Hey, let me get this for you."

• 14:04Speaker 00

  Swoop in when she's at her lowest. Now you're talking.

• 14:06H. Foley?

  Thank you, Dad.

• 14:07Speaker 00

  It looks like you could use a hot meal. And a shower. I'd take you down to the diner or something like that. Get a bowl of chowder in ya. Todd his shit up. Sweat that out, baby. You gotta sweat out them toxins. Get a bowl of stew in ya.

• 14:21H. Foley?

  Get some hot sauce, honey.

• 14:22Speaker 00

  Got some goulash at the crib. Uh, yeah, I don't know. I was just very like, "Why are you here?" Like, there's other options to be doing. Seven dollars and change is a lot of change.

• 14:36H. Foley?

  Cause she's used to it, baby.

• 14:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, but then who the fuck has that much change?

• 14:40H. Foley?

  I don't think seven dollars is that much.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  Do, how, you, how many bills you have to break to accumulate seven dollars and change?

• 14:46H. Foley?

  Over her, the years of working or whatever.

• 14:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm-

• 14:51H. Foley?

  You don't got seven dollars and change at your house? Broke ass mother-

• 14:54Speaker 00

  Yeah. Damn, I thought you were doing well. Yeah, but I'm not rolling with it.

• 14:59H. Foley?

  If you were jammed the fuck up, you would be.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  No, I'd be at the fucking Super Fresh cashier getting a pack of Marlboro Milds with my ticket. Like a guy, walk out with seven dollars chain cash. No one ever knew I was jammed the fuck up.

• 15:12H. Foley?

  She should be doing the move where she goes to 7-Eleven, steals a cup of coffee inside the Big Gulp cup.

• 15:17Speaker 00

  That's what I'm saying. Get, get a little, get a little crafty or something.

• 15:20H. Foley?

  Maybe she's on the way. Keep an eye on her in the neighborhood.

• 15:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, I kinda have to. I don't know. I was- Yeah, I don't know. Hey, to each their own. Maybe, maybe she was just spending, maybe she was jammed. I just, in my dirtbag brain, nothing was computing. I couldn't get the rhythm on it.

• 15:37H. Foley?

  The way that I look at it, though, and you have said this before, when people who have it like that, okay? When, you know, if she is smart with her money, and she just had extra change and just wanted to get rid of it, they don't think about that. That's the same mentality, and I've heard you say this. That if a guy's out-

• 15:54Speaker 00

  You've never heard me say nothing.

• 15:56H. Foley?

  If a guy's out to dinner, and he is doing, he has nothing to hide, doing well, he hands a credit card, for some reason that credit card doesn't go through. He just goes, "Oh, my bad, here, use this one." What if it was us, we'd be, "Hey, the fuck, this is bullshit, I'm goddamn American, fucking run it again." And flip the table.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  Don't run it again. Don't, don't, do not run that again. Call up Luke. He's, Luke will spot me. I just called Luke.

• 16:23H. Foley?

  I'll come back in 45 minutes.

• 16:24Speaker 00

  Venue, Outback-

• 16:25H. Foley?

  Run it again, I'll be back in 10 minutes.

• 16:30Speaker 00

  I bring my dad. Luke, call your dad, I need $128 to Applebee's in Midtown, stat.

• 16:37H. Foley?

  He'd pay over the phone with a credit card.

• 16:39Speaker 00

  No problem.

• 16:40H. Foley?

  If you wanted to.

• 16:41Speaker 00

  I wonder what that is now, now that things have changed, access to money has changed so much. What is the, I don't, I mean, the old story would be like, you gotta wash dishes, the work, what is the, "I can't fucking pay for this."

• 16:58Speaker 00

  And like, cause then at some point, somebody would be like, "Venmo me." You could even go like, "Hey, waiter, I'll Ven, can you pay cash? I'll Venmo, you put it on your card, I'll Venmo."

• 17:06H. Foley?

  Motherfucker's not asking if he got Zelle, that's when it gets real bad.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  Cash App?

• 17:12H. Foley?

  Shout out to Cash App.

• 17:13Speaker 00

  Shout out to Cash App sponsor, they just sent me $10 in Bitcoin.

• 17:16H. Foley?

  Get out of here, what?

• 17:17Speaker 00

  That's for signing up, yeah.

• 17:19H. Foley?

  Huh. Kid's rich.

• 17:22Speaker 00

  Chuck me out of the cab bay.

• 17:24H. Foley?

  Marlboro miles.

• 17:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, um, I wonder what that looks like now, not having enough money to pay for the tab, to pay for the bill. Cause someone-

• 17:36Speaker 00

  I mean, like, when we used to go, like, me, Pat, Flip, whatever, we'd go out with only access to between the three of us, only had access to maybe eighty dollars.

• 17:47H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:47Speaker 00

  And if whatever, what my card was and where something or something hit and cleared me out that I wasn't expecting, like, we didn't have it, nobody had it to cover. You'd have to, like, go home and, like, ask your mom or something.

• 17:59H. Foley?

  You know, it's a good trick. If you got nothing, but you want to save a little face.

• 18:04Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:04H. Foley?

  You take a key and you scratch the strip on the back of the card.

• 18:08Speaker 00

  Ah.

• 18:08H. Foley?

  You throw it in there. It's not working.

• 18:10Speaker 00

  Want to do the wash or something?

• 18:13H. Foley?

  You got magnets in there?

• 18:14Speaker 00

  Demagnetize, yeah. And they start running, they start calling, they call up MasterCard real quick.

• 18:18H. Foley?

  Nah, they can't do that. They can't get into your account. They don't know my PIN number.

• 18:22Speaker 00

  You lean over and cut the cord.

• 18:25Speaker 00

  They cut the telephone cord.

• 18:26H. Foley?

  Chip, you can't pay your phone bill.

• 18:29Speaker 00

  Kind of establishment. They're taking my business elsewhere.

• 18:32H. Foley?

  I feel sick to my stomach, I'm not gonna lie.

• 18:33Speaker 00

  I think those clams were bad.

• 18:37Speaker 00

  Uh...

• 18:38H. Foley?

  Kind of barbershop is this?

• 18:39Speaker 00

  Uh, that's all right.

• 18:40H. Foley?

  Kimmy, can I tell you about Pretty Litter?

• 18:42Speaker 00

  Tell me about the Pretty Litter.

• 18:43H. Foley?

  You know how much I love Pretty Litter. More importantly, you know how much my kitty cat loves Pretty Litter. I know we got a lot of cat people out there.

• 18:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:51H. Foley?

  All right, I'm gonna tell you this. Pretty Litter is the best litter that you're gonna use for your cat. And I'll tell you why, a lot of different reasons. Number one, I'm a lazy guy.

• 19:02Speaker 00

  Amen.

• 19:03H. Foley?

  It's lightweight when you bring it upstairs. Two, it lasts longer than most kitty litters.

• 19:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:09H. Foley?

  All right. Smells unbelievable. You don't even know there's a cat in the house. And the most important reason.

• 19:16Speaker 00

  Hit 'em.

• 19:17H. Foley?

  If there's anything going on with the cat's urinary tract, the crystals in Pretty Litter will turn color to let you know. Now, it's obviously not a doctor, it's something, but it gives you a heads up. Maybe it's time to take the cat to the vet.

• 19:28Speaker 00

  Gives you the early warning if you need it.

• 19:30H. Foley?

  And talk about a company caring about your pet. These other, these other pet products, man, a lot of times, hey, they don't really care.

• 19:36Speaker 00

  Nah, Run and Gun.

• 19:37H. Foley?

  Run and Gun. Pretty Litter cares. I'm telling you, it's the only kitty litter that I'm ever gonna use again, and that's just me shooting you straight.

• 19:45Speaker 00

  You got the bug man hooked. And right now, right now, you can save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy at prettylitter.com/garbage. That's prettylitter.com/garbage to save 20% on your first order and you get the free cat toy. PrettyLitter.com/garbage. Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See the site for details. Do it.

• 20:08H. Foley?

  Can't be got talking about Brunt.

• 20:09Speaker 00

  Woo, talking about that Brunt, dawg.

• 20:11H. Foley?

  Best work boots in the market, would you say?

• 20:13Speaker 00

  Some would say.

• 20:14H. Foley?

  How many times, when you, when you were, when you were doing blue collar jobs, doing construction, where your feet were killing it at the end of the day because you had a bad pair of boots?

• 20:23Speaker 00

  Oh, I always had bad boots. I always looked like a bozo. My feet always hurt. I was always complaining. I had bad gear.

• 20:30H. Foley?

  Dude, I'd be out there in sneakers like a bozo.

• 20:32Speaker 00

  Sure, yeah, yeah.

• 20:33H. Foley?

  I wish I had Brunt when I was banging, but I was working as a little laborer. You know what I mean? Taking down the drywall, doing that stuff, getting yelled at because I didn't know what I was doing, and I stunk at it. Gang, do yourself fever. If you're working, get Brunt.

• 20:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:46H. Foley?

  Comfortable, reliable, they look good. Your feet aren't gonna kill you at the end of the day. There is nothing worse than going home and you can't wait to count, you're counting the seconds. You can't even think straight. You're trying to get those boots off. With Brunt, you're not gonna have that problem.

• 21:01Speaker 00

  They got lightweight, waterproof, slip and oil resistant, heat resistant, electrical hazard rated. How you doing?

• 21:07H. Foley?

  Oh, electrical hazard?

• 21:08Speaker 00

  Uh huh. Uh, they got it all. Whatever you need, they got it. Join over the 500,000 other customers who are using Brunt. You can finally have durable work boots that are as comfortable as your sneakers. Brunt lets you try the boots on the job and all their products have free shipping. How you doing out the door, baby? Brunt was tired of the workwear brands out there cutting corners. You won't have, you work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots that don't hold up, so they built something better. Boots that are insanely comfortable and built for any job site. For a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt when you go, when you use the checkout code garbage. Uh, just head to BruntWorkwear.com, use the code garbage, and you're good to go. And after you order, they'll ask you how you heard about Brunt. Do us a favor, let them know the boy sent you. From Are You Garbage? We love yous.

• 21:52H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 21:53Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, I don't know. All right. All that being said, that's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, if, if you're a fan of the program, or a homie, or a long time bozo, or if you're new to the program...

• 22:07Speaker 00

  Just blacked out for a second.

• 22:09H. Foley?

  When you sign up for the old Patreon and you get your question read on the air by Kevin James Ryan himself.

• 22:13Speaker 00

  Da da da. Listen, I got fucking baby.

• 22:16H. Foley?

  The flatbread freak.

• 22:17Speaker 00

  I got baby brown. I don't know what's going on.

• 22:19H. Foley?

  Father of the year. Last six months.

• 22:23Speaker 00

  That's not what my wife said. Currently at home alone with his screaming baby.

• 22:28H. Foley?

  Hey, you know, kids got to chill out a little bit.

• 22:31Speaker 00

  Um, hey buddy, relax. That's too much formula.

• 22:37Speaker 00

  Uh, he's probably doing tummy time right now.

• 22:40H. Foley?

  Tummy time?

• 22:41Speaker 00

  I got him a bunch of Phillies. Oh, I didn't. Uh, the, the good folks over there, William Morrison and Dever.

• 22:45H. Foley?

  Ah.

• 22:46Speaker 00

  Uh, sent us a lot of, uh.

• 22:48H. Foley?

  Top shelf outfit, top shelf outfit over there.

• 22:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, maybe one day we can work together.

• 22:51H. Foley?

  Out there, out there in Hollywood.

• 22:53Speaker 00

  Sure. Also, they're like, I'm like six and a half. In a fucking flea bag.

• 22:57H. Foley?

  That's what they call bi-coastal.

• 22:59Speaker 00

  Uh huh. Bisexual.

• 23:00H. Foley?

  Hello. Now you're speaking, calling.

• 23:04Speaker 00

  Freaky beaky. Uh.

• 23:06H. Foley?

  AC DC.

• 23:09Speaker 00

  Alternating wieners. Um.

• 23:13H. Foley?

  What? They got you some nice Philly stuff?

• 23:15Speaker 00

  Some Philly stuff. They got him. So he's been rocking. He's got like a wah wah onesie. He's got a onesie that says John. He's got.

• 23:22H. Foley?

  They didn't step on our gear that we got, our off-brand Eagles stuff.

• 23:25Speaker 00

  I gotta be honest with you. Yeah, some of that shit was whack.

• 23:30H. Foley?

  Your Randy McNabb jersey?

• 23:32Speaker 00

  Gary McNabb. Who gets a Donovan McNabb onesie? That's wild.

• 23:37H. Foley?

  I mean, you're a Philly scumbag.

• 23:39Speaker 00

  I don't listen.

• 23:40H. Foley?

  Donovan McNabb is your guy.

• 23:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, I guess.

• 23:45H. Foley?

  I'm a Randall Cunningham man myself. Jim McMahon.

• 23:48Speaker 00

  Scrambled eggs Cunningham?

• 23:50H. Foley?

  Or a Ron Jaws Jaworski.

• 23:52Speaker 00

  Hey, listen, I've long known had Jaws' autograph. My dad used to rent a, rent a unit from him.

• 23:58H. Foley?

  We're all Jalen Hurts mans now, though.

• 24:00Speaker 00

  We saw him on the field.

• 24:02H. Foley?

  Sure we did. Celebrating down there with the team. AFC cha- NFC champions.

• 24:06Speaker 00

  As an, I was like, we gotta, Jalen Hurts walked by me and you and like looked at us. I was like, good game. And he's like, what the fuck? How the, what? Your fat asses on the, on the field.

• 24:14H. Foley?

  Good job, Jimmy.

• 24:16Speaker 00

  I'm stealing someone's helmet.

• 24:19Speaker 00

  Um.

• 24:20H. Foley?

  Good friends of Mike Mamula.

• 24:22Speaker 00

  I did, I did have a Mike Mamula, signed Mike Mamula jersey.

• 24:25H. Foley?

  We just hung out with him, what do you mean?

• 24:26Speaker 00

  Holy shit, we did.

• 24:28H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:28Speaker 00

  At the Whitney Show, at the Towers, or not the Towers Theater.

• 24:31H. Foley?

  Go looking dude.

• 24:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, remember, he didn't, I said to him, remember that? I embarrassed him. I was like, yo, did a big, I had a Mike Mamula and he's like, haha, cool. He really didn't give me the time of day.

• 24:42H. Foley?

  He hung out with us for a little, that's when we started comedy.

• 24:45Speaker 00

  Who were you?

• 24:51Speaker 00

  What was I talking about? Uh, no, but he's been rocking his Philly gear. Makes me feel like a proud Philly... It's in me.

• 24:58H. Foley?

  Until he's stealing your change.

• 24:59Speaker 00

  I can't wait till I get in that.

• 25:00H. Foley?

  For sure.

• 25:02Speaker 00

  He's smoking my Marlboro Mild. I can't wait to get him down to the boardwalk and hold him up like Lion King at the entrance, you know what I mean?

• 25:08H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 25:09Speaker 00

  Let him see, let him see his palace or his fucking, his kingdom.

• 25:12H. Foley?

  Now what if he starts operating like you and the boys did? What if he's sneaking, what if he's going down to the games and he's sneaking heaters in the hallway? Huh? Down at the tailgating?

• 25:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, what age?

• 25:24H. Foley?

  Couple months.

• 25:24Speaker 00

  Seven, eight, uh, I mean, you know.

• 25:27H. Foley?

  This season?

• 25:28Speaker 00

  We were a big, if you're 16, you're allowed to have a beer.

• 25:33Speaker 00

  Allowed to start smoking at 12, you know what I mean?

• 25:35H. Foley?

  State troopers? Who would say this to you?

• 25:38Speaker 00

  My uncle, who was a cop.

• 25:40H. Foley?

  Not anymore.

• 25:42Speaker 00

  Um, alright, like we said, we got a Gosh darn Family episode on our hands, uh, let's friggin get right into it. Uh, speaking of pain and, uh, the, you know, checking out in cashiers in supermarkets.

• 25:52H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:53Speaker 00

  Uh, this is, uh, from Bannister Lannister, first time, long time, never had one read, $10 homie.

• 25:58H. Foley?

  Bannister Lannister, it's a good name for a band.

• 26:01Speaker 00

  It's a tongue twister. He's like, I'm writing this live from a Publix checkout line. Publix? From what I hear, fantastic institution.

• 26:08H. Foley?

  Mr. Brett Kreischer, big fan of the Publix, the Pub Sub.

• 26:11Speaker 00

  Pubs, everybody is.

• 26:12H. Foley?

  Which I gotta say, when he first started mentioning it to us... Had my curiosity.

• 26:18Speaker 00

  Now you have.

• 26:19H. Foley?

  Lately, he's been posting.

• 26:20Speaker 00

  Lot of people, he's down there.

• 26:22H. Foley?

  Down there.

• 26:23Speaker 00

  Lot of people have been telling, because we talked about Pub Subs maybe like a month or so ago.

• 26:26H. Foley?

  Now he has my interest.

• 26:27Speaker 00

  I thought they were more pre-made. I didn't know they were fucking, they're banging them out, like making them for you.

• 26:32H. Foley?

  We down there in FLA anytime soon? Not really, right?

• 26:35Speaker 00

  Not really.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  Have to hold out.

• 26:37Speaker 00

  Swing and a miss. Uh, we'll be in Georgia. I got him in Atlanta.

• 26:40H. Foley?

  You got him in Atlanta?

• 26:41Speaker 00

  Think so.

• 26:41H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 26:42Speaker 00

  In the south, southern boy.

• 26:43H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 26:44Speaker 00

  At Uber Eats.

• 26:44H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 26:45Speaker 00

  Um, writing this live from a Publix checkout line. Uh, I feel like Publix is trashy because of the X, right? Anything with an X is like a strip, it's like strip club shit. Publix with an X is like, you're not swinging for the fucking high society.

• 27:04H. Foley?

  Or when you replace the S with a Z.

• 27:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:07H. Foley?

  Bad.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 27:08H. Foley?

  And if the Z goes into the two words.

• 27:11Speaker 00

  That's big.

• 27:12H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's huge.

• 27:14Speaker 00

  Like Pizza Zone or whatever, the Z fucking.

• 27:16H. Foley?

  That's pretty good.

• 27:17Speaker 00

  I hate that.

• 27:18H. Foley?

  Is there a Pizza Zone?

• 27:19Speaker 00

  I'm sure. See, after the, let's take it over on there. How many, I mean, it's not going to give them to you all over the country, but there's gotta be. There's probably four in New York.

• 27:27H. Foley?

  Pizza Zone? Pizza Zone would have to be a chain. That sounds like a chain from, uh.

• 27:32Speaker 00

  Toy Story.

• 27:32H. Foley?

  It is a chain.

• 27:33Speaker 00

  It might be.

• 27:33H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  Got one in Lowdy.

• 27:35H. Foley?

  Lowdy, Texas?

• 27:37Speaker 00

  New Jersey.

• 27:40H. Foley?

  Wait, is that where he was stuck?

• 27:41Speaker 00

  Who? No, what was it? Cosmic Pizza or something. What was the pizza in Toy Story? Oh, I'm not asking your brain, I'm asking Google.

• 27:52Speaker 00

  Pizza Planet.

• 27:53H. Foley?

  Pizza Planet, that sounds like, that sounds like a nice Friday night. And at Pizza Planet, play some video games, get a nice slice of pepperoni.

• 28:03H. Foley?

  Till those fucking toys started coming alive, then you're freaking the fuck out, stomping those things.

• 28:07Speaker 00

  Talk about widespread panic.

• 28:09H. Foley?

  No, is that where, um, John Fogerty was stuck? Stuck in Lowdy again?

• 28:14Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 28:15H. Foley?

  Oh, Lord.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  He a buddy of yours?

• 28:17H. Foley?

  I'm stuck in a low die. Is that what he was said? Do you know that, Luke?

• 28:21Speaker 03

  Uh, not well enough. I'm Googling it now. Just about a-

• 28:24Speaker 00

  I'm coming to the Google hour with R. G. Garvin.

• 28:26H. Foley?

  Just about a year ago, I said it on my own.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah.

• 28:30H. Foley?

  I thought Lowdie was in Texas.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  I mean, it might be.

• 28:33H. Foley?

  Maybe they're gonna love it.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  He's saying the song is referring to Lowdie, California.

• 28:37H. Foley?

  Ah, see, I knew there was another one.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  There you go. Wrong on the state, though.

• 28:42H. Foley?

  Was he jammed up?

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Very much so. The feeling of being trapped in a mundane or unfulfilling situation. That's what it refers to the line. Been there. Ah, you're there.

• 28:52H. Foley?

  With five dollars and quarters on it and no heaters.

• 28:56Speaker 00

  Um, alright, so this is, alright, Bannister Lannister. I exclusively will use a hand basket despite the amount of items I need and usually do self-checkout.

• 29:06H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 29:07Speaker 00

  Today, the self-checkout line was long, but the express was wide open. Is it garbage that I walk up and put the basket right on the belt and didn't unpack it? Logistically, it didn't seem like it made a difference, but I feel like it's a stone-cold trash move.

• 29:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, dude, what the fuck? What are you, the Queen of England?

• 29:26Speaker 00

  That's, it's, listen, I've, I've been a, I've been on the business end of that. It's a little dismissive.

• 29:32H. Foley?

  Although?

• 29:33Speaker 00

  It's not legit, it's there. The thing doesn't have to move, you can, ah, I get it.

• 29:39H. Foley?

  Yeah, it might be, it might be easier for them, and if you've been to a Trader Joe's, that's how it's done. Because there's a Trader-

• 29:47Speaker 00

  There's no belt, there's just a zone.

• 29:49H. Foley?

  Just right there.

• 29:50Speaker 00

  I would argue, I, I don't think I've ever been at a Trader Joe's in the suburbs, but that's a very New York thing, too. They tend to just at, like, at, like, more small, because there's no space. Is it in the suburbs they do that?

• 30:00Speaker 03

  Suburbs, same thing, yeah.

• 30:02Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 30:02H. Foley?

  I don't have been to a Trader Joe's in the suburbs. All city action. City mobs.

• 30:07Speaker 00

  I'm not a, I'm not a TJ's guy.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  At least the one you made.

• 30:09H. Foley?

  Hmm. Yeah, I wonder.

• 30:12Speaker 00

  I feel like I've been to one in Jersey and there's belts, though.

• 30:14H. Foley?

  I wouldn't say either way it's trashy. I would say it's, uh-

• 30:18Speaker 00

  A little uncouth. Or could be interpreted as uncouth.

• 30:21H. Foley?

  It, it would be, like, um, snobby, is what I would say.

• 30:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, it seems a little country.

• 30:26H. Foley?

  Unload my basket.

• 30:28Speaker 00

  I'm Bannister Lannister. You will unload thy basket.

• 30:32H. Foley?

  I'm the Lowdie Lannisters.

• 30:37H. Foley?

  Publix? Yes, that is Boursin cheese, if you've ever seen it before. How long you been eating Boursin cheese?

• 30:43Speaker 00

  What's Boursin?

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Boursin?

• 30:44H. Foley?

  I'm surprised you don't know it.

• 30:45Speaker 03

  I'm not familiar.

• 30:46H. Foley?

  It's like a fancy cheese dip thing. You ain't know Boursin cheese? Comes in like a little tin foil thing? Little ball?

• 30:52Speaker 00

  Nah, I'm a Cooper Sharp man, I'm a-

• 30:54H. Foley?

  It's not cheese like you put on a Sammy.

• 30:56Speaker 00

  What, I'm not even messing with it?

• 30:57H. Foley?

  It's dipping, dipping cheese.

• 30:58Speaker 00

  What, what do you think, I'm just rolling with dipping cheese?

• 31:01Speaker 03

  I didn't see it till college, but my parents had it around.

• 31:03Speaker 00

  How do you spell it? Let me get eyes on it.

• 31:05H. Foley?

  B-O-O-U-S-R-I-N.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  Wrong.

• 31:08H. Foley?

  Is it?

• 31:09Speaker 03

  B-O-U-R-S-I-N.

• 31:11H. Foley?

  Right.

• 31:13Speaker 00

  Right, what he said?

• 31:15Speaker 00

  Oh!

• 31:16H. Foley?

  You know that.

• 31:16Speaker 00

  I know, I mean-

• 31:17H. Foley?

  But you didn't have that when you were a kid.

• 31:18Speaker 00

  When I was a kid, I don't have it now. What are you talking about? Yeah, the coin store get some Boursin.

• 31:23H. Foley?

  Some Boursin?

• 31:26Speaker 00

  Normandy? Fuck, didn't we steamroll them pussies?

• 31:29H. Foley?

  Is that, was that what it's from? It's from Normandy, France?

• 31:31Speaker 00

  Originating in Normandy, France.

• 31:33H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 31:33Speaker 00

  A brand of soft, creamy and crumbly gourmet cheese. You were getting real fucking hoity to- You're gonna be dropping your fucking- Your banister lannister on the conveyor belt and going, "Do my groceries."

• 31:43H. Foley?

  It's from Normandy. They really pulled it together, didn't they? Shout out to them. Good chowder in Normandy, too, I hear. It's a Bourdain, always said, "Good soup." It's cold. Wind coming off the- Wind, weather, rain, yeah. Wind, weather and rain, a little brown bread.

• 32:01Speaker 00

  Alright, let's see here. Uh, this one's from Tootie's Protege, $10 home and never had one read. Are you- Are you garbage?

• 32:08H. Foley?

  Kenny Banyan.

• 32:10Speaker 00

  "Are you garbage if you're seriously contemplating getting a payday loan with your car title on a car that has a slipping transmission? Just so they'll be the ones that have to deal with it." I guess that's pretty good. If it's got a bad transmission, the idea of it got a bad transmission, you get your $5,000 loan for it, don't pay it back, they take the car.

• 32:31H. Foley?

  They're fucked.

• 32:33Speaker 00

  It ain't worth five grand, they don't know that. Got plugs in the tire.

• 32:36H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 32:39H. Foley?

  That's Banister Lannister.

• 32:44Speaker 00

  That guy's not unpacking his goddamn, uh...

• 32:46H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 32:47Speaker 00

  His basket, I'll give him that.

• 32:48H. Foley?

  That's a fucking sweet move.

• 32:49Speaker 00

  Listen, I don't know title loans...

• 32:51H. Foley?

  You take the car, I don't give a fuck.

• 32:52Speaker 00

  Feels like that's kinda the how it would shake out. I'm sure they have to have... Listen, people doing car title loans, they ain't the fucking Boy Scouts, okay? I'm sure they're aware dirtbags are trying to give them fucking cars without engines and stuff.

• 33:07H. Foley?

  Oh, that's pretty good.

• 33:08Speaker 00

  They, they have to know. Do you think that's their first time getting screwed over?

• 33:12H. Foley?

  At, at least what you gotta do is when they come to repo, you still have to do the fake run out of the house in your towel, so to try to stop them.

• 33:19Speaker 00

  Yo!

• 33:20H. Foley?

  Oh, take my car, I gotta go to work! Give them the sob story.

• 33:22Speaker 00

  You know damn well you ain't got no job. I gotta get to the Coinstar machine.

• 33:26H. Foley?

  And that car ain't got no seats.

• 33:28Speaker 00

  Paul and them bitches from Marlboro Mild. Uh...

• 33:33H. Foley?

  Staying up driving to work.

• 33:38H. Foley?

  That's a tough look.

• 33:39Speaker 00

  That's, that's fucking Gene the Ip. Uh, that's pretty good. Um... Alright, let's see here, this is Prince of Tras 1995. Uh, hey fellas, got a question for ya. I ain't got an answer, maybe.

• 33:53H. Foley?

  Straight shooter, huh?

• 33:53Speaker 00

  Have you guys recently used duct tape to repair anything? I currently have a leaky faucet, patched it up with some duct tape, and it's still a li... It still leaks a little, but not as bad. I just used my real first time using Gorilla Glue. That stuff...

• 34:08H. Foley?

  You gotta be careful with that.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  That, I use super glue.

• 34:11H. Foley?

  New homeowner, you got a child in the house, that stuff is dangerous.

• 34:14Speaker 00

  Well, he's not, he can't get into nothing, yeah?

• 34:16H. Foley?

  I know, but you can clamp your fingers together, that shit ain't never coming off.

• 34:20Speaker 00

  I'm stuck holding the baby. I caught him huffing it the other day.

• 34:24H. Foley?

  That stuff is dangerous.

• 34:25Speaker 00

  I cry, well, I realized, so...

• 34:27H. Foley?

  My day was called Crazy Glue.

• 34:29Speaker 00

  No, so they're different. I bought, I bought Crazy Glue the other day, and then I found Gorilla Glue at the house. Um...

• 34:37Speaker 00

  I crazy, this is real dirtbag shit. We gotta-

• 34:40H. Foley?

  What are you crazy gluing over there? You a model kit? Messerschmitt? What are you doing?

• 34:46Speaker 00

  I, uh... This is a real, this is a real dirtbag. Uh, our coffee table in the living room.

• 34:55H. Foley?

  Using crazy glue on a wood? Whoa.

• 34:58Speaker 00

  So, it's like, uh, I meant, alright, so they say this is the, you know, this is the table. This is like, there's like, uh, laminate type, not laminate, whatever, like a piece of like, thin wood on top.

• 35:09H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 35:10Speaker 00

  And then there's the trim on the side.

• 35:12H. Foley?

  Uh-huh.

• 35:13Speaker 00

  That's like two different pieces, you know what I mean?

• 35:15H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 35:16Speaker 00

  It's the same material, just like, this and then trim along the side.

• 35:19H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 35:20Speaker 00

  We put our feet on the coffee table. And this seam-

• 35:27H. Foley?

  Bubbled up?

• 35:27Speaker 00

  Yes. So I-

• 35:29H. Foley?

  That's a shitty coffee table.

• 35:31Speaker 00

  It was expensive. This, well, we, she shopped, she shops at the fucking, what are they called?

• 35:37H. Foley?

  CB2.

• 35:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, but the depots, the-

• 35:40H. Foley?

  Outlets.

• 35:40Speaker 00

  Outlets. So we probably got a bum table or something. Probably sitting in the wrong fucking shipping container, all the glue melted off.

• 35:48H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 35:49Speaker 00

  And then they were like, you know, like, "Give it to these fucking idiots." Man, we body's the worst shit. Um, so I had to super glue it and turn it. So you don't see it. And that like then faces the TV.

• 36:01H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 00

  But, I started-

• 36:02H. Foley?

  Wait, so it faces the TV? What do you want it facing the couch?

• 36:05Speaker 00

  No, cause then I look at, I can't see that. I don't see that edge. Nobody walks in front of the TV.

• 36:10H. Foley?

  I just wanna get screamed at.

• 36:11Speaker 00

  Anyway! Catching a remote on the side of the head.

• 36:14H. Foley?

  I forgot to tell you this. I got an issue going on at the apartamento of, uh, you know, we got the wood flooring in the living room. I got two sections that are doing this. And it went from-

• 36:26Speaker 00

  You got a heavy payload walking around there, man. I'm just saying, what's that stuff rated at?

• 36:30H. Foley?

  Play tectonic. It went from this to this overnight.

• 36:35H. Foley?

  To the point that I thought it was a pipe or something that was gonna burst. Had the super come up, take a look, he's like, "It ain't the air conditioning leaking in, cuz it's too far away."

• 36:44Speaker 00

  Is it kinda, is it real wood? Can't be.

• 36:47H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's real wood planks. I mean, whatever that stuff is. It's not like tape.

• 36:55Speaker 00

  I didn't think it was tape.

• 36:56H. Foley?

  It's not like fake brick.

• 36:57Speaker 00

  What?

• 36:58H. Foley?

  It's real wood.

• 36:59Speaker 00

  It's a wallpaper.

• 36:59H. Foley?

  What's that shit, yeah, it's not, what's that stuff?

• 37:01Speaker 00

  Like LPV stuff.

• 37:02H. Foley?

  Who?

• 37:03Speaker 00

  Like laminate, high-

• 37:04H. Foley?

  LBJ.

• 37:06Speaker 00

  Great guy. Couldn't walk.

• 37:08H. Foley?

  Huh?

• 37:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:09H. Foley?

  Could walk fine. Tall drink of water. Had big peas, too, they say.

• 37:14H. Foley?

  Weiner.

• 37:15Speaker 00

  Uh, oh.

• 37:17H. Foley?

  They used to call him Little LBJ.

• 37:21H. Foley?

  Hey, look it up.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 37:22H. Foley?

  Anyway.

• 37:23Speaker 00

  He from Lowdy?

• 37:24H. Foley?

  They think it's the building next door pushing against our building that's causing the problem. Yeah.

• 37:31Speaker 00

  That's like tremor shit.

• 37:33H. Foley?

  Think I got a lawsuit on my hands.

• 37:35Speaker 00

  He was slipping fall. Get a, get him a neck brace. Ship it to the house. Trip over that. Pay day.

• 37:44H. Foley?

  I thought it was something funny.

• 37:45Speaker 00

  Uh, what? Can't say?

• 37:49Speaker 00

  Catch that on Patreon. Um, I also used Gorilla Glue. Well, that happened, so I was doing the crazy glue. Baby started crying. She needed a hand with like, you know, I was just changing him or whatever. He needed to pass it, like, you gotta fucking, he don't like getting his light be changed.

• 38:06H. Foley?

  Nah.

• 38:06Speaker 00

  Uh, neither do I, but hey, you know what I mean?

• 38:09H. Foley?

  I would love it.

• 38:11H. Foley?

  I would love it.

• 38:11Speaker 00

  You get cold, and they don't like that. He starts screaming.

• 38:15H. Foley?

  Feeling that on my sack. Tighten me up a little bit. Clean me all up. Hold my legs up like, I'd be down for that.

• 38:22Speaker 00

  Have to be a big guy.

• 38:24H. Foley?

  Big dude.

• 38:25Speaker 00

  Fucking Andre the Giant cleaning your diaper. Fucking legs up over there.

• 38:29H. Foley?

  Oh my god. That's my Andre the Giant.

• 38:31Speaker 00

  That was not that good. Typically a great showman, you're really-

• 38:35H. Foley?

  He shit everywhere.

• 38:37Speaker 00

  Another blowout. Um, but I was doing that and I haven't used it in so long that you go, oh, it was that feeling of like it on your fingers like I haven't felt this feeling in so long and then your fingers get hard. And then she's like, can you come here? So I'm holding them and I'm like, I got heavy bicemis on my hand. You gotta get this baby away from me. I'm like putting the pacifier in his mouth. He's fucking, I'm like, this is fucking bad.

• 39:00H. Foley?

  Kicking it out.

• 39:02Speaker 00

  Um, and then I got a gorilla glue, uh, we just buy bad shit. Uh, the cabinet under the sink, the handle is wood in like two, uh, not like two metal loops. Where they go, you know, it's like a loop here and a loop here and there's like a wooden thing that goes through.

• 39:21H. Foley?

  I think I know what you're talking about.

• 39:22Speaker 00

  Got them on Amazon.

• 39:23H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:23Speaker 00

  Uh, and then you pull them enough that they, the wood slips out.

• 39:30H. Foley?

  Jesus.

• 39:30Speaker 00

  I know.

• 39:31H. Foley?

  What do they connect it with?

• 39:32Speaker 00

  It's just like a little fucking like indent or something. I know. They look great though.

• 39:37H. Foley?

  So you have the super glue them together?

• 39:39Speaker 00

  So I fucking gorilla glued. Slipped that in.

• 39:41H. Foley?

  Metal to wood?

• 39:42Speaker 00

  What?

• 39:42H. Foley?

  Metal to wood?

• 39:43Speaker 00

  Gorilla glue, baby.

• 39:44H. Foley?

  Really?

• 39:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:45H. Foley?

  It's not made with actual gorillas, is it?

• 39:47Speaker 00

  Now, 20% more gorilla.

• 39:50H. Foley?

  Oh, you're conserving here.

• 39:51Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, that's a, that is a good ques- that is a very good indicator of, uh, of dirtbaggedness of your, uh, any duct tape.

• 40:01H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 40:02Speaker 00

  I've been using, as you know, I'm a big painter's tape guy now because that duct tape really jams you up.

• 40:06H. Foley?

  Hey, but the painter's tape don't do nothing.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  They're nuts.

• 40:10H. Foley?

  I cut my foot, I use duct tape on it.

• 40:12Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, I'll give you that.

• 40:13H. Foley?

  With a piece of gauze.

• 40:14Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:15H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 40:15Speaker 00

  That's a big super glue that too.

• 40:17H. Foley?

  I was really rolling the dice on that too. I really just covered it up and let it, I didn't touch it for like a week. And I was like, either this is gonna turn black and fall off, I'm gonna find out that I have diabetes and bad circulation, or it's gonna heal on its own. Thank God it healed on its own.

• 40:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:33H. Foley?

  Took the duct tape off and it was fine.

• 40:37Speaker 00

  Please my foot don't come off, please my foot don't come off. Um, I mean, this one's wild. This is from Garbage, uh, $10 Trash Network. Are you garbage? Put your dad's ashes in a yingling bottle?

• 40:47H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 40:49Speaker 00

  That's... Uh, listen, as a Philly dirtbag, I respect that. I respect it.

• 40:56Speaker 00

  Listen, there's not many containers you could put me in that would be... I don't... I would... I'm gonna pull this back. I don't think there's... A... Now that I think about it, there's not a more sentimental thing to put me in than a yingling bottle. There's no other container that I... that I've had a connection with. I mean, a pounder. Sure.

• 41:17H. Foley?

  I would do one of those, uh, glass bottles that you get at like Great Adventure.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  The sand art?

• 41:21H. Foley?

  That they stretch out. I'd be in one of those.

• 41:24Speaker 00

  Like the Coke bottles?

• 41:25H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 00

  I used to do sand art in that. I thought I was good. Yeah, I thought I really had a business on my hands. He had a sand art kit. I had the whole nine.

• 41:33H. Foley?

  Did you stretch the bottle out?

• 41:34Speaker 00

  No, what am I, a fucking... Was I a hippie?

• 41:37H. Foley?

  What's thinking?

• 41:38Speaker 00

  Blowing glass?

• 41:39H. Foley?

  How do they get away with doing that at like Great Adventure?

• 41:41Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 41:41H. Foley?

  They don't do that anymore. There's no way you're allowed to melt glass at Great Adventure.

• 41:46Speaker 00

  I don't... I never saw them do the bottles.

• 41:48H. Foley?

  Yeah, the bottles are great.

• 41:49Speaker 00

  I just... The bottles were always existing. Let's get some sand art for the set. Start looking.

• 41:55H. Foley?

  I'll do something.

• 41:56Speaker 00

  Ah, you do it. Let's buy it.

• 41:58H. Foley?

  Should do a little art contest on Patreon.

• 42:00Speaker 00

  Like what?

• 42:01H. Foley?

  I don't know. Paint something.

• 42:02Speaker 00

  A paint and sip.

• 42:03H. Foley?

  Still Life.

• 42:05Speaker 00

  Ah, let's get a man.

• 42:05H. Foley?

  A paint and sip with the homies would be alright. That would be nice.

• 42:10Speaker 00

  Get a nude model.

• 42:11H. Foley?

  Ryan D.

• 42:13Speaker 00

  Scary Jerry.

• 42:15H. Foley?

  Scary Jerry. That'd be pretty good. That'd be cool to get a nude model. Get a guy and a girl for everybody.

• 42:24H. Foley?

  Can we broadcast that?

• 42:25Speaker 00

  A nude model?

• 42:26H. Foley?

  Yeah. Behind the paywall?

• 42:29Speaker 00

  Not on... YouTube won't take it. I don't think Patreon likes the nudity.

• 42:34H. Foley?

  Just throw it in my house.

• 42:35Speaker 00

  I know cameras. Just throw it in my bedroom. Lock the door. You guys, you guys stay at your place.

• 42:42Speaker 00

  Um, this one's from, uh, $10 Kippy, Junior's Legal Fund Investor. Are you garbage if you watch those YouTube hotels slash cruise reviews before you go on a trip? So you know exactly what everything looks like before you get there?

• 42:53H. Foley?

  I'm with it.

• 42:54Speaker 00

  I'm, I just started doing that kind of stuff. It's insane, the amount of information that's on YouTube.

• 43:01H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:01Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 43:02H. Foley?

  If you're going somewhere and you don't, and you don't look up, you know, 10 things to do in fucking Wilmington, Delaware on a Friday, you're nuts.

• 43:09Speaker 00

  Buy coke, buy coke, buy coke, buy coke.

• 43:12H. Foley?

  They actually got good Chinese food down here.

• 43:14Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm. Um, I've also like looked at stuff and been like, I don't need to go now. I've just scratched the itch. I don't need to go see the castle in upstate New York.

• 43:23H. Foley?

  Trevy Fountain, Trevy Fountain, I get it.

• 43:24Speaker 00

  Uh-huh, yeah. Uh...

• 43:26H. Foley?

  A lot of people were talking about that joint that you went to. What's it called? Lockhammer?

• 43:31Speaker 00

  No.

• 43:32H. Foley?

  Where'd you go?

• 43:33Speaker 00

  Just recently?

• 43:34H. Foley?

  Yeah, the, the, the castle.

• 43:35Speaker 00

  Uh, the mon, the Mohawk.

• 43:38H. Foley?

  Mohawk.

• 43:38Speaker 00

  That fucking price. You could've went to fucking Cancun for three weeks for that, for that fucking price.

• 43:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:43Speaker 00

  It was the ba, it was the baby moon.

• 43:45H. Foley?

  They're talking about that online.

• 43:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:47H. Foley?

  Not your stay specifically, but...

• 43:50Speaker 00

  My stay wasn't a...

• 43:51H. Foley?

  Some guy eating a mozzarella sticks. That was your shoe.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  Um, alright, let's see here. Uh, this is $10 homie, House Money Ant. Is it garbage to scoot, that's a great name, House Money Ant?

• 44:04H. Foley?

  House Money Ant.

• 44:05Speaker 00

  That's my boy, House Money Ant.

• 44:07H. Foley?

  House Money Ant.

• 44:07Speaker 00

  That's pretty good.

• 44:08H. Foley?

  Always winning.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  Ant's such a good...

• 44:11H. Foley?

  Ant's good.

• 44:11Speaker 00

  You can do anything with Ant. Little Ant, Big Ant, just Ant.

• 44:14H. Foley?

  Ant.

• 44:15Speaker 00

  Anthony.

• 44:15H. Foley?

  Anthony.

• 44:16Speaker 00

  That's a good one.

• 44:17H. Foley?

  Anthony's a good name.

• 44:18Speaker 00

  My boy, Big Gay Ant, House Money Ant. Is it garbage to scoot over in your lane when somebody is tailgating you so they can see that there's some other bozo ahead of you holding everything up? That's a, I love that. Scoot you over, go, buddy, take a look at what I'm dealing with.

• 44:35H. Foley?

  You're preaching to the choir, dude.

• 44:37Speaker 00

  Uh-huh.

• 44:38H. Foley?

  I do that all the time. I let them know. That's what I call a little street ratting.

• 44:46H. Foley?

  You're fucking beeping at me where you think I would be the fucking idiot not going? And it's this fucking dickhead in front of me.

• 44:55Speaker 00

  You want me to do, I'm right there with you. I'm trying to make moves.

• 44:58H. Foley?

  For sure. That's, man, to think of that is so good.

• 45:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, to like, to verbalize that. That's one of those things that everybody has felt.

• 45:07H. Foley?

  That makes me mad we didn't think of it.

• 45:08Speaker 00

  I know, I know.

• 45:09H. Foley?

  That's fantastic.

• 45:10Speaker 00

  We had one the other day, we went to an event, we were shooting something and it was a, it was a bring your own chair event, which is, we were like, that is a, there is no classy bring your own chair event. If you're rolling, I mean, and these guys were rolling up.

• 45:24H. Foley?

  Unless you're going to see Andrew Ryu or something like that.

• 45:27Speaker 00

  Who's that?

• 45:27H. Foley?

  You know who Andrew Ryu is? Big, big conductor. Huge in Europe. I mean, packing them the fuck in.

• 45:34Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 45:35H. Foley?

  Does good.

• 45:36Speaker 00

  I don't like this, this fucking Normandy cheese for European conductors.

• 45:40H. Foley?

  My dad liked them. Yeah, he found them on YouTube. He found them on YouTube.

• 45:45Speaker 00

  I was just watching a video of the founders of YouTube.

• 45:49H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 00

  When there was only 40 videos on YouTube and they were like, they were sitting in some fucking closet and they were filming and one guy had a camera, he's like, we just, he's like...

• 45:59H. Foley?

  Were they making videos?

• 46:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, I guess. I don't, well, it was made to share, like, for him to share videos with his boys, originally. Of like, I can upload this and send you a link that you can watch it. But, he was like, uh, they were like, oh, we need, he's like, at the end of the day, it's just not that cool. We only have like 40 or 50 videos on here. We need more videos.

• 46:19H. Foley?

  Now look at them.

• 46:20Speaker 00

  Now look at them. We got, we got, we got the fucking YouTube plaque on the wall.

• 46:23H. Foley?

  What'd they cash in for, those guys?

• 46:25Speaker 00

  Oh, see what, you see where you can get their net worth at? I mean, Google bought them for like a billion or something.

• 46:32H. Foley?

  A billion dollars?

• 46:33Speaker 00

  I don't know. A lot of cash. That's a lot of cash. That guy ain't hitting a coin star, I'll tell you that much.

• 46:38H. Foley?

  He ain't smoking Marlboro Milds either.

• 46:41Speaker 00

  400 million, 500 million, 140 million, yeah, all these guys.

• 46:46H. Foley?

  Wow. Who's the guy that started YouTube?

• 46:48Speaker 00

  Uh, Chad Hurley, Steve Chen, and Jaweed Karim.

• 46:53H. Foley?

  My man.

• 46:55Speaker 00

  Amen, brother. And Gary YouTube.

• 47:00Speaker 00

  Um, this one's from Lapbanda Brothers, great name. $10 homie, do you currently have any silverware or utensils inside your refrigerator?

• 47:09H. Foley?

  Any utensils currently inside my refrigerator?

• 47:11Speaker 00

  Or silverware?

• 47:12H. Foley?

  Yes, I do. Yes, I do. I also have a couple of Tupperware that I know were empty and were placed right back in the refrigerator.

• 47:20Speaker 00

  Dirty.

• 47:21H. Foley?

  Yeah. Dishwasher was full, didn't want to leave them in the sink, didn't want to clean them by hand, slid them right back in, they've fallen under the radar. When you stack them neatly, could be something in there.

• 47:33Speaker 00

  Sure. I can't.

• 47:35H. Foley?

  That'll come to light.

• 47:36Speaker 00

  Oh, no.

• 47:37H. Foley?

  That'll be a scandal.

• 47:39Speaker 00

  Wasn't me, it was that nude model that was here.

• 47:43Speaker 00

  Goddamn building next door.

• 47:44H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 47:44Speaker 00

  Um, we, uh, we currently, my wife and her family do the plate of food in there.

• 47:53Speaker 00

  Like, I was talking about, there's like homemade schnitzel or whatever, and it's just on the plate in there, which like my family would put that in a container or a bag.

• 48:01H. Foley?

  Yeah, I can't have open air shit in there unless it's fruit.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  They're big, open air people.

• 48:06H. Foley?

  Really?

• 48:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:07H. Foley?

  Wow. You gotta seal that in.

• 48:10Speaker 00

  Seal in the flavor.

• 48:10H. Foley?

  Next thing you know, it's tasting like other stuff that's in there.

• 48:13Speaker 00

  Freaks.

• 48:14H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 48:15Speaker 00

  Freaky deaky, baby, mixing.

• 48:17H. Foley?

  Or everything smells like cutlet.

• 48:19Speaker 00

  We also, uh, man, so the, the pan, our frying pans have been a big point of contention at my house.

• 48:26H. Foley?

  The Teflon, what are you doing?

• 48:27Speaker 00

  No, so listen.

• 48:28H. Foley?

  Shit gets in ya.

• 48:29Speaker 00

  What the, maybe she had pampered chef?

• 48:33Speaker 00

  Maybe they were pampered chef, but she was get, she got it at, she, it was a tan one, with like a bron, like a brushed bronze handle. And she got it at Home Goods, which is bunk, it's got a bad coating on it, something. This thing, eggs were sticking to this thing, it didn't matter if you put butter, vaseline, anything, eggs were sticking to this thing. And I like to cook my eggies in the morning.

• 48:56H. Foley?

  I know.

• 48:56Speaker 00

  Well aware, well documented, welcome to the Shaggy Thumbs.

• 49:00H. Foley?

  We have a set of stainless steel pans.

• 49:02Speaker 00

  We bought, we bought one, that thing you gotta get to like fucking the level of the sun.

• 49:07H. Foley?

  Seven thousand degrees, you do the water test, and then you can put the stuff in there and it won't stick.

• 49:12Speaker 00

  Get out of here.

• 49:13H. Foley?

  I don't have that in me.

• 49:14Speaker 00

  Give me, call me the Teflon Don.

• 49:16H. Foley?

  That's too dangerous.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  I want the microplastics, have DuPont make it, I want nonstick.

• 49:21H. Foley?

  Fucking slide right off there.

• 49:23Speaker 00

  So, in a, in a heated, uh, so I go, hey, you gotta get, we gotta get a new pan, this pan fucking sucks, right?

• 49:32Speaker 00

  This is a few months ago. She goes, "I got a new pan." I was when we were on the road or something. I'm like, "Fucking great. I'mma go back, make some fucking scrambys." "It's the same pan, just a different color." And I went, "It's the same frickin' pan and it's sticking." "Can't stand ya."

• 49:50H. Foley?

  You put butter in there in the oil?

• 49:52Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, yeah, I've tried it all. I don't do butter anymore. I'm off the butter.

• 49:56H. Foley?

  Gotta do half oil, half butter.

• 49:58Speaker 00

  Hey, guy.

• 50:01H. Foley?

  Hey, that's Gordon Ramsey. That ain't me. Which I didn't know he played soccer professionally.

• 50:08Speaker 00

  Did he? I didn't know either. I just blacked out. You know what my, you know what my... I'm thinking Rod Stewart.

• 50:16Speaker 03

  No, Gordon Ramsey was not a professional football player.

• 50:18Speaker 00

  There's no way you were fucking that good of a sh- you gotta choose a lane. Also, at least-

• 50:26H. Foley?

  Fucking Johnny YouTube over here.

• 50:27Speaker 00

  Is it me or was, uh, Elton John also an astrophysicist? Is that true? Can you look that up? Um-

• 50:33H. Foley?

  Elton John's real name, go.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  Gary YouTube.

• 50:36H. Foley?

  No.

• 50:37Speaker 00

  John Elton. Elton Brand. John-

• 50:41H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 50:41Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 50:42H. Foley?

  Seen if you-

• 50:43Speaker 00

  Not Elton John?

• 50:44H. Foley?

  I got a book report in a couple hours.

• 50:46Speaker 00

  Um-

• 50:47H. Foley?

  I seen him the other day at a regular restaurant, sitting outside.

• 50:50Speaker 00

  I said, "I paint and change. You believe that guy?" Guy with that much cash?

• 50:55H. Foley?

  He's just at a restaurant. I wanna say it was in Italy or something like that.

• 50:58Speaker 00

  Oh, I thought you saw him like in the city.

• 51:00H. Foley?

  Oh, me? No. I would've, I would've called you.

• 51:02Speaker 00

  You just said you saw him at a restaurant.

• 51:04H. Foley?

  Called you from there. You're not gonna believe who the fuck is sitting next to me.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  Get me looking.

• 51:09H. Foley?

  At the Smith.

• 51:10Speaker 00

  Wait, you just said-

• 51:11H. Foley?

  Crush at a little Gem C's.

• 51:13Speaker 00

  You saw him-

• 51:14H. Foley?

  I see them on the internet.

• 51:15Speaker 00

  You seen a video of him at a restaurant. Okay.

• 51:18H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 51:19Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 51:19H. Foley?

  Just sitting down outside of the restaurant. Isn't that crazy? That he can still go out to restaurants? Elton John. Figured he'd be taking all those meals at the house.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  Born Reginald Kenneth Dwight.

• 51:30H. Foley?

  That's right.

• 51:33Speaker 00

  Now you know.

• 51:34H. Foley?

  I was gonna say Samuel something, but I think that's Mark Twain.

• 51:36Speaker 00

  Um, what was I saying?

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Pampered Chef, pans.

• 51:41Speaker 00

  I said.

• 51:41H. Foley?

  I never even heard, that sounds like a shitty brand.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  The first thing that comes up when you Google it, what is the lawsuit against Pampered Chef?

• 51:48Speaker 00

  For what? Ruining my fucking.

• 51:50H. Foley?

  Burning eggs!

• 51:51Speaker 03

  Multiple, it seems like.

• 51:53Speaker 00

  About what?

• 51:54H. Foley?

  What?

• 51:54Speaker 00

  That's why they're at Home Goods.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Data sharing lawsuit, defective knife sharpening, trademark infringement, product liability, wrongful death.

• 52:04Speaker 00

  That must've killed my wife.

• 52:07Speaker 00

  Uh.

• 52:08H. Foley?

  Those data leaks, though, that's.

• 52:10Speaker 00

  They don't have mine, I mean, we bought it through Home Goods.

• 52:12H. Foley?

  Who knows?

• 52:13Speaker 00

  Pampered Chef, and listen, they ain't got my credit card.

• 52:16H. Foley?

  Data leaks. This guy really likes his eggs, huh?

• 52:21Speaker 00

  He did five eggs this morning? Jesus Christ, you fathead.

• 52:25H. Foley?

  That's what gets out there. Why, come on! One broke!

• 52:29Speaker 00

  I've been lying, saying I've been doing three eggs, the story, story breaks, I really been doing five, and I am using butter.

• 52:37H. Foley?

  Soon a successful podcaster, Kevin Ryan, has been lying about his three egg consumption.

• 52:41Speaker 00

  I've been doing the avocado spray from Whole Foods.

• 52:44H. Foley?

  That's no good for you, it's got the aerosol in it.

• 52:48Speaker 00

  I said, you know what? We're, I can't do this anymore.

• 52:51H. Foley?

  You go out and buy yourself your own pan?

• 52:53Speaker 00

  I did Hexclad.

• 52:54H. Foley?

  Who?

• 52:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, good stuff.

• 52:56H. Foley?

  Is that a Marvel character?

• 52:59H. Foley?

  Hexclad?

• 53:00Speaker 00

  Captain American Shield, I'm making scrambys on it.

• 53:03H. Foley?

  Hexclad, what's that?

• 53:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're big. I think Tommy Pope was pushing them, right? It's like a big brand.

• 53:09H. Foley?

  It's top of the line, Tommy uses it.

• 53:10Speaker 00

  Buddy, I, I hit this with one little

• 53:15Speaker 00

  little spray, my scramby.

• 53:16H. Foley?

  Cologne.

• 53:18Speaker 00

  Polo sport. This thing is fucking.

• 53:22H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 53:22Speaker 00

  It's like a girl on a motorcycle, it's slipping all over the place.

• 53:28H. Foley?

  Wait, why?

• 53:28Speaker 00

  Doesn't that make a what?

• 53:30H. Foley?

  What?

• 53:31Speaker 00

  The vibration.

• 53:33H. Foley?

  Oh, yeah. I never thought of it.

• 53:35Speaker 00

  Hey, now I'm crazy, huh? Welcome to the show.

• 53:38H. Foley?

  Never thought about that.

• 53:39Speaker 00

  That's all I think about.

• 53:41H. Foley?

  I wish I was a guy that could ride a motorcycle and have a chick on the backs hanging on.

• 53:44Speaker 00

  You'd be a, you'd be one of the trike guys, if we're being honest.

• 53:47H. Foley?

  No, I would be skinny in this, uh, fantasy.

• 53:51Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 53:51H. Foley?

  I also wouldn't be man enough to ride a motorcycle.

• 53:55Speaker 00

  No, I saw two guys on a motorcycle yesterday. It seemed, looked like a guy and his dad, and I didn't know how I felt about it.

• 54:00H. Foley?

  Was that the same motorcycle?

• 54:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, the dad was on the back.

• 54:04H. Foley?

  Well...

• 54:05Speaker 00

  I would, nah.

• 54:06H. Foley?

  Was he hugged up, or was he leaning back? Cause they could've been running to the shop or something. Did he have a whale tail? Was he sticking it out? With a tramp stamp on the back?

• 54:18Speaker 00

  Uh...

• 54:19H. Foley?

  Flashing his tits?

• 54:20Speaker 00

  Uh, his, his weener was on his butt. They, they were close. I would not want my dad that close to me. That's what I do know that. Even if we were speaking, I wouldn't want him that close to me. Even if we re-did, rekindle our, our, our relationship.

• 54:35H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 54:35Speaker 00

  It's a little too close for comfort.

• 54:36H. Foley?

  It's like when the barber runs up against your hand.

• 54:38Speaker 00

  Ah, the fuck? Yeah, fucking get, hey.

• 54:41H. Foley?

  Take it easy, Earl.

• 54:41Speaker 00

  Get your balls off me shoulder. Uh...

• 54:46H. Foley?

  Tall barber.

• 54:47Speaker 00

  Low chair. Um, alright, let's see here. This one's just funny. This is from, uh, Lemon with Lime. $10 whore, never had one read. Is it garbage? When I was 16, I bought, uh, crossbow on Amazon because I was a big fan of The Walking Dead. That's a guy looking for a personality. He's going, you know what, I'll be... Crossbows...

• 55:08H. Foley?

  Crossbows are cool, though.

• 55:09Speaker 00

  They kinda hit a little bit. We could get them at flea markets.

• 55:12H. Foley?

  No kidding? Like a legit, like, go-through-you crossbow?

• 55:16Speaker 00

  I mean, they weren't, they'd fu, I mean, they, they would, I, the, the, the, the, the darts were a little dull, a little more dull.

• 55:24H. Foley?

  Hurts even more.

• 55:25Speaker 00

  You remember like the, I don't know, the only thing I can refer to is like a archery arrow? Where it's, it had like a little stainless steel tip on it, but it wasn't like, it was like rounded?

• 55:33H. Foley?

  A little metal tip.

• 55:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:35H. Foley?

  You talking about the classic, uh, the classic archery red bow that you get at like Walmart? Those things were pretty sweet. You fucking...

• 55:42Speaker 00

  I never...

• 55:43H. Foley?

  Launch those things in the air.

• 55:44Speaker 00

  I'd never, I could, I mean, I didn't have this arm, but the only time I was like a kid, I, I couldn't like, get it.

• 55:50H. Foley?

  Not even a regular, I'm not talking about a compound bow.

• 55:52Speaker 00

  Oh, compound bows are easy, aren't they? That's why they're compound. Compound bows come back...

• 55:56H. Foley?

  I thought they were harder.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  Kind of.

• 55:58Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 55:59H. Foley?

  You don't know?

• 55:59Speaker 03

  It's all the drawstring, like, the weight of the drawstring. So it's like somewhere like 80-pound bows. You need 80 pounds to pull back.

• 56:06Speaker 00

  Let's see, this guy said 150-pound.

• 56:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, those are, I mean...

• 56:09Speaker 00

  Oh, that's heavy.

• 56:10H. Foley?

  150-pound crossbow? That thing going right through ya.

• 56:12Speaker 00

  Take down a rhino? What are you talking about?

• 56:14H. Foley?

  Zombie at least. What is the crossbow used for? There's not a specific thing, is there, other than killing zombies? Do people go crossbow hunting?

• 56:25Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 56:26H. Foley?

  Right? You got two of them?

• 56:28Speaker 00

  Zombies and vampires, that's what you gotta take out with it.

• 56:31H. Foley?

  Yeah. I feel like that's all it's for.

• 56:33Speaker 00

  What do you got?

• 56:34Speaker 03

  Crossbow hunting's a popular method of hunting.

• 56:36H. Foley?

  Really?

• 56:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:37H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 56:38Speaker 00

  Seems like it, I don't, I don't understand like the whole handgun version of it.

• 56:42H. Foley?

  Yeah. I don't get it.

• 56:44Speaker 03

  Easier to learn and master than a traditional bow.

• 56:46H. Foley?

  Chewbacca used a crossbow. A laser crossbow, though. I don't take out a... I'll take out a hog.

• 56:53Speaker 00

  You really have to wind that up, though? That don't make sense technology-wise.

• 56:56H. Foley?

  I feel like he did.

• 56:57Speaker 00

  That's, I mean, that don't make no friggin' sense. Right? That's bad writing.

• 57:01H. Foley?

  I feel like he did have to cock it.

• 57:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:04H. Foley?

  Nah, he couldn't have. I think it just looked like a crossbow.

• 57:07Speaker 00

  Huh.

• 57:07H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 57:08Speaker 00

  I don't like that. Not a fan.

• 57:11H. Foley?

  He's a gorilla, what do you want from him?

• 57:14Speaker 00

  He's supposed to be doing the best of what he's got. Uh, alright, let's see here. This one's from Little Rigatoni Stinger. Uh, never had one read. Is it garbage if your mom still drinks Sunny D instead of orange juice? That's crazy.

• 57:28H. Foley?

  Man, her esophagus is rotted out.

• 57:31Speaker 00

  Her teeth are going too.

• 57:32H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 57:33Speaker 00

  That stuff takes the enamel off.

• 57:34H. Foley?

  Woo! That's gotta be freezing cold.

• 57:37Speaker 00

  That's wild. That's like also the stuff that's like fortified. It's like now fortified and you feel it. You go, ah, there's a, there's a film in this that's not natural.

• 57:47H. Foley?

  Yeah. Vitamin X.

• 57:50Speaker 00

  That's fucking crazy. This one's the same thing, this or pack rat, this is, what's the earliest? This will be a big debate. What's the earliest you can have a Coke without being garbage? I don't think the Rockefellers are having it for breakfast.

• 58:02H. Foley?

  Oh, the earliest in the day, I meant earliest in your life.

• 58:05Speaker 00

  No.

• 58:05H. Foley?

  Um, hmm, wow. I might push back on that a little bit. Some of these super rich guys, business guys, are pretty addicted to Diet Cokes. They might do Diet Cokes in the morning. With their eggs, with their egg white omelet.

• 58:23Speaker 00

  I would still make it tra- I mean, that's just because they got the money and they're some, you know, listen, I do that.

• 58:29H. Foley?

  Lunch.

• 58:30Speaker 00

  It's gotta be, it's gotta be.

• 58:31H. Foley?

  It's gotta be lunch.

• 58:32Speaker 00

  It's gotta, I would say, maybe you're up early? Listen, when we, when I was, when I was, back when I was working construction. You, you take your lunch at like 10 o'clock because you start at fucking 6.

• 58:43H. Foley?

  And you were hungry.

• 58:45Speaker 00

  So, I would say if your lunch, I, after, it's gotta be 10 o'clock on, and it's gotta be.

• 58:51H. Foley?

  I'd say, it's gotta be after 11:30.

• 58:55Speaker 00

  But what if you're taking, what if, what if you, your day started at 6?

• 58:58H. Foley?

  Doesn't matter, it's still 10 o'clock, it's still 10 o'clock in the morning, get it, suit it.

• 59:02Speaker 00

  You can't be doing fucking a Sunny D and a Hoagie, that'll ruin it.

• 59:06H. Foley?

  I'll give you iced tea.

• 59:07Speaker 00

  Huh, I'll give you iced tea.

• 59:08H. Foley?

  Or coffee, more coffee, it's 10 o'clock in the morning.

• 59:11Speaker 00

  Coffee and a fucking meatball hero?

• 59:14H. Foley?

  I actually don't mind it. The older I get, the more I like having coffee with a meatball.

• 59:18Speaker 00

  I know, but listen, they're not saying you, again, this is for society, not what you like. We have to draw a line for the good people out there.

• 59:28H. Foley?

  Fair enough, fair enough.

• 59:30Speaker 00

  You get a, um, listen, it's not classy, but you get a pass if you're working construction and your, and your lunch is at fucking 10:15. I gotta give you a pass.

• 59:37H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 59:37Speaker 00

  You're a fucking, you're a hardworking guy, you're fucking welding.

• 59:41H. Foley?

  Thank you.

• 59:41Speaker 00

  That's not talking to you, um.

• 59:44H. Foley?

  Diesel, give me a Coke, will you?

• 59:46Speaker 00

  Times 10:15? Um, I gotta give you that. But yeah, I would say after 11 and it's gotta be, it can't be breakfast food, although I eat it for breakfast.

• 59:57H. Foley?

  What's the latest that you can have coffee till you're trash? Or a psychic?

• 1:00:01Speaker 00

  Well, depending, like if you're like a fucking, if you're working overnight, then a lot goes into that air traffic controller type shit, you know?

• 1:00:07H. Foley?

  How much coffee they put away? Or if that's like what they did in the 70s.

• 1:00:11Speaker 00

  That's probably more, I mean, you do a fucking.

• 1:00:13H. Foley?

  Can't be all jittery doing that shit now.

• 1:00:16Speaker 00

  There's also so many better forms of caffeine, I think.

• 1:00:18H. Foley?

  Five Hour Energy.

• 1:00:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, just.

• 1:00:21H. Foley?

  Adderall.

• 1:00:23Speaker 00

  Cocaine. Fucking root beer, something like that, you know.

• 1:00:26H. Foley?

  No caffeine in root beer.

• 1:00:27Speaker 00

  Whatever, ginger ale.

• 1:00:29H. Foley?

  No caffeine in ginger ale.

• 1:00:30Speaker 00

  Started naming the ones that don't have it, I got you.

• 1:00:32H. Foley?

  Sprite, no caffeine. 7-Up, no caffeine.

• 1:00:35Speaker 00

  Sunny D.

• 1:00:36H. Foley?

  No caffeine?

• 1:00:37Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 1:00:38H. Foley?

  No, caffeine in orange juice?

• 1:00:40Speaker 00

  Diet Sprite, aye, my ma, man, that stuff had a fucking... I was like eating a fucking... It's fire.

• 1:00:45H. Foley?

  I had one last week. Not good.

• 1:00:47Speaker 00

  Crazy.

• 1:00:48H. Foley?

  Not good. You tasted the diet so much in it, I don't know what it is. So bad.

• 1:00:55Speaker 00

  It's such a difference, it's crazy. It's wild. It's like the biggest difference in diet soda.

• 1:00:59H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:00Speaker 00

  Truly, truly stinks.

• 1:01:02H. Foley?

  Regular Sprite, alright. Diet Sprite, no good.

• 1:01:07Speaker 00

  Yeah. I don't know, we were always a big Coke and Sprite, my dad, line of Coke, line of Sprite down the, down the fridge.

• 1:01:14H. Foley?

  Would he do a Sprite?

• 1:01:16Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, crushed up ice.

• 1:01:17H. Foley?

  Really?

• 1:01:18Speaker 00

  Oh, real dad style. We, we had, like, not, they weren't solo cups, they were the super fresh brand.

• 1:01:25H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  America's Choice, they were America's Choice, you'd buy like the fifth, the clear cups, but like a solo, but clear. You'd fill that up with crushed ice and then like, tch, really fucking... Bill, Bill Nye the Science Guy beaker it in there to get the, you know, and the, the...

• 1:01:40H. Foley?

  Keep the, keep the can halfway.

• 1:01:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, that fucking take away, right there.

• 1:01:45H. Foley?

  I never saw my...

• 1:01:46Speaker 00

  With a plate of, uh, like, goldfish, or like pretzel goldfish, or whatever, take it out, sit down, read the paper, watch whatever, crank a heater. I was big, we were a big heater on the couch family.

• 1:01:57H. Foley?

  I never saw my father drink a Sprite in my whole life. Never. I've seen him drink root beer, diet root beer, cream soda, birch beer.

• 1:02:05Speaker 00

  Nah, you got like soda.

• 1:02:07H. Foley?

  Coca-Cola.

• 1:02:09Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 1:02:10H. Foley?

  Never a Sprite, chocolate soda.

• 1:02:13Speaker 00

  That's.

• 1:02:14H. Foley?

  Diet root beer. That was the big thing. Diet root beer.

• 1:02:17Speaker 00

  Sure. Uh, this is, this is from Tombo in the world of soda. $10 homie here. Are you garbage if you fill up your fountain soda? Take a swig off the top for quality assurance. Let me finish, then refill the cup before leaving. Bonus points if you're making the person behind you wait while you do all that. That's, that's the, I, I feel pressure when that's the case. I feel a lot of pressure.

• 1:02:41H. Foley?

  You have to. You have to.

• 1:02:45Speaker 00

  But you feel like such a fat ass when you're gulping it and someone's just like twiddling their thumbs and you're like, I'm sorry, I just like chewed it.

• 1:02:55Speaker 00

  There was nothing, there was nothing better than, uh, my last day job when I was working for that, uh, interior designer, I, uh...

• 1:03:02H. Foley?

  You had a soda machine?

• 1:03:05Speaker 00

  I was doing pretty good. Uh, there was a Chipotle right around.

• 1:03:08H. Foley?

  Chipotle!

• 1:03:09Speaker 00

  I would treat myself when I had two, three bucks in my pocket.

• 1:03:12H. Foley?

  Mr. Pibbs extra.

• 1:03:13Speaker 00

  It was payday. I'd sit there. I, I would, I would angle to get a spot close to the soda machine. Ah, cause I'm, man. I leaned back.

• 1:03:25H. Foley?

  You're just eating there. You pulled a chair up there.

• 1:03:28Speaker 00

  They got the tables you can't move though. They're all bolted down and shit.

• 1:03:31H. Foley?

  Sure, throwing them around.

• 1:03:33Speaker 00

  I, uh, I, cause that's how Kip, that's Kippy at his, I would do a big bowl with a side of chippies if I was being real bad.

• 1:03:44H. Foley?

  You're doing, you're doing out of the cup. You're not doing the straw, right?

• 1:03:47Speaker 00

  Out of, yeah, that's how you really regulate the right amount of, I, man, I would paint my, I would walk out of there hurting so bad. I would consume. I'd probably consume, I'd probably consume 56 ounces of Diet Coke, a bag of chips, and I'm talking a heavy bike bowl.

• 1:04:09H. Foley?

  Human beings.

• 1:04:10Speaker 00

  And I would do, ooh, I'd be sitting there hurting.

• 1:04:14H. Foley?

  Human beings should not have a, should not be allowed access to the fountain soda.

• 1:04:19Speaker 00

  No. I've become a worse person once they've got on the other side of the counter for sure.

• 1:04:23H. Foley?

  Man, talk about not giving a shit. Put it over there. But thank God for it.

• 1:04:29Speaker 00

  They do free refills? I remember, can I have a refill? Walking up to the counter. You mean to hear, we like cut the line?

• 1:04:38H. Foley?

  I don't remember that.

• 1:04:39Speaker 00

  I would do that.

• 1:04:40H. Foley?

  They give you refills?

• 1:04:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, like a Burger King or something. Before they were on BNO, before they put them in gen pop.

• 1:04:48Speaker 00

  How do you think they bolted them seats down at fast food joints?

• 1:04:52H. Foley?

  All jacked up.

• 1:04:52Speaker 00

  All jacked up on fucking Mr. Pibb and root beer.

• 1:04:55H. Foley?

  Would you ever do a Nest tea? Would you ever do an iced tea at the fountain?

• 1:04:58Speaker 00

  Such a waste.

• 1:05:02Speaker 00

  What am I, an athlete? Get out of here.

• 1:05:06H. Foley?

  It never really hits that right out of the fountain. I don't know.

• 1:05:09Speaker 00

  Did I ever tell you that we were?

• 1:05:11H. Foley?

  What am I, an athlete?

• 1:05:12Speaker 00

  My grandmother, I don't know if I ever told my, I might have just told you or I never told you. My grandma was in hospice.

• 1:05:18H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 1:05:19Speaker 00

  We were all there, down ashore, and uh, we moved into the place.

• 1:05:25H. Foley?

  Down ashore?

• 1:05:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:26H. Foley?

  That's where she went, huh?

• 1:05:26Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:27H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 1:05:28Speaker 00

  Also, shout out to this dude, they, my, so my, my grandparents lived in a small town outside Ocean City called Seaville.

• 1:05:34H. Foley?

  Right.

• 1:05:34Speaker 00

  Right offshore. This kid hit me up, not a fan of the show, but he goes, "My mom is a huge fan of the show." I guess she has no way of getting to us. So she's got him DMing me going, "What street did you grow up, what street were your grandparents?" He's like, "Oh, my mom's asking me what street your grandparents lived on."

• 1:05:54H. Foley?

  Ah, shout out to you.

• 1:05:54Speaker 00

  He goes, "Was it off of Old Stagecoach Avenue?" I'm like, "What's off, I mean, there's fucking three streets in there." But shout out to you, man, she's, she'd be at the, she was at the Atlantic City show.

• 1:06:03H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 1:06:06Speaker 00

  We moved in with, uh, we like moved in, because we were a clan. There's like a hundred of us.

• 1:06:12H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 1:06:13Speaker 00

  So there was a group like forty that were there, heavy, and we ordered a bunch of pizza from like a bad joint down there. It became super greasy. And I remember, I was, I was out.

• 1:06:22H. Foley?

  Three more, you're in hospice?

• 1:06:23Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:06:23H. Foley?

  Three more.

• 1:06:27Speaker 00

  So we're like out there cranking heaters, we're drinking coffee, it's like.

• 1:06:31H. Foley?

  Posted up in a hospice with the squad before?

• 1:06:34Speaker 00

  You know.

• 1:06:34H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 1:06:35Speaker 00

  They made room, like, like the cafeteria room was like our, like, we took over. And I mean, we have boxes of pizza. That pizza, like, heavy cheese. I'm not talking low moisture mods either. I'm talking high moisture mods. You know what I mean?

• 1:06:48H. Foley?

  The top of the box is greasy.

• 1:06:51Speaker 00

  You got a grease spot on the top of the box. And my cousin, who at the time was on the World Cup team. Uh huh. And he's dabbing his pizza. And I remember, I was dressed, this is when I was selling roofs door to door. I have like a pair of slacks on, like a huge polo, but like not tucked in. A polo I stole from Phil, I remember. Dress shoe, like baggy, like I am like no gel in my, I am a fat fuckin'. I'm on my fifth slice. How you do that? And I'm like, oh, lucky ye dabbing your pizza. And like I like tried to hit my, I hit my cousin and he started, my uncle started laughing at him like, meanwhile, he is a fucking world class. And he's, he's looking at me, he's like, dude, you probably like, you fucking sell roofs door to door and you stink at that.

• 1:07:36Speaker 00

  He pulled your shoulder. I'm drinking coffee and eating pizza. Eating a cigarette? It was like fucking, I just, I look back at that and be like, what did he think when I was like, ye dabbing your pizza? Fucking, guy's an Olympian. Here, grease is dripping onto your lap, in your slacks. I'm rubbing my shirt. Give me that napkin when you're done. I was standing up eating pizza too. I didn't even sit, I remember standing up. Standing over the boxer. Just fucking. Pretty good. Just talk about not getting it. Just trashing a guy for dabbing his pizza. That's what, but like that makes me, I would never, back to the iced tea, that's such a waste. You're relating that to dabbing the pizza?

• 1:08:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, cause I said I'm not an athlete. Only, in my head, only athletes dab their pizza. You're the only ones that are allowed to. Um, I will say a dab with a, it's gotta be a paper towel, it's gotta be a real greasy thing. Of course. And you can get it to the perfect consistency. If you really know how to work it. If you can get it, sometimes you get a lot of grease off and it's like, super dry, that's when it's got good texture. I've never done it once. Really? No. You should try.

• 1:08:52H. Foley?

  That's what I'm... That's the piece I missed. Dammit, my zah.

• 1:08:57Speaker 00

  Um... It's a...

• 1:09:00H. Foley?

  I've only ever seen Ruben Pfeffer do it.

• 1:09:03Speaker 00

  Sure. Sometimes you'll do it like a dollar slice joint and they got the real thin napkins and that thing disappears when you throw it on there. It's just... You're like, "What the... You can't find it." You end up eating it.

• 1:09:13H. Foley?

  It's like eating the Trident wrapper, yeah.

• 1:09:14Speaker 00

  You end up fucking eating it.

• 1:09:16H. Foley?

  It disappears like a listerine chipper.

• 1:09:17Speaker 00

  Fuck that. Um... Alright, but we gotta wrap it up, gang.

• 1:09:20H. Foley?

  What a fun one!

• 1:09:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, man.

• 1:09:22H. Foley?

  Uh, gang, we love you to death. And we'll see you next week. Peace!