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Classy Takeout! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Hosted by H. Foley

1h 9m
Transcript

Original podcast

Summary

Written by a model from the transcript; not yet reviewed.

The hosts H. Foley and Kevin Ryan sit down for a family episode of Are You Garbage to debate the boundaries of trash and class. Kevin shares a story about ordering expensive takeout from Capital Grill while dealing with a sick baby at home, leading to a debate on whether ordering separate meals or eating leftovers for breakfast is classy. The duo also discusses childhood memories of tech, including typewriters and floppy disks, and reviews various fan-submitted garbage questions about parkour, funeral home limos, and grocery cart etiquette.

  • Using shredded cheese in a wrap can add a different texture and temperature when not fully melted. 9:54
  • Ordering a steak dinner from a high-end restaurant like Capital Grill for takeout is a luxury experience. 17:05
  • Subscribing to platforms like Patreon allows fans to support independent podcasts directly. 31:12
  • Eating a sandwich for dinner at a sit-down restaurant while everyone else has entrees is considered questionable. 1:05:26

Chapters

  1. 0:00
    Podcast Launch & Host Introduction

    The hosts kick off the episode with a brief intro, announcing their show and setting the comedic tone.

  2. 1:12
    Cheese Wrap Debate Begins

    Kevin and H. Foley dive into a heated discussion over shredded cheese in wraps, debating its merits and culinary impact.

  3. 17:05
    Takeout Tales & Food Adventures

    The hosts recount a recent takeout experience from Capital Grill, sharing humorous anecdotes about ordering, eating, and the dynamics of their relationship.

  4. 21:00
    Sleep & Wellness Product Pitch

    Kevin promotes Ultra Sleep Pouches and Helix mattresses, weaving in personal anecdotes to sell sleep solutions to listeners.

  5. 38:17
    Parkour & Childhood Memories

    The conversation shifts to nostalgic parkour stories, highlighting the hosts' youth adventures and the cultural impact of the sport.

  6. 39:51
    Limo Lifestyle & Luxury Talk

    Kevin and H. Foley discuss luxury vehicles, specifically limousines, sharing humorous takes on ownership, costs, and the allure of high-end transport.

  7. 44:35
    Product Sponsorship & Closing Remarks

    The episode wraps up with a sponsorship plug for Square, tying in the hosts' experiences with payment technology and concluding the show.

  8. 45:50
    DraftKings Sports App Launch Nationwide

    Discussion of DraftKings’ new sports app available in all fifty states, including promotional codes and betting options.

  9. 47:17
    Melted Pocket Chocolate Segment

    Hosts briefly touch on a segment about melted pocket chocolate before moving back to the main conversation.

  10. 1:02:31
    Guest Shout‑outs and Patreon Promotion

    Hosts promote Patreon, thank a guest, and discuss the concept of being “garbage” when refusing to grab a grocery cart.

  11. 1:03:58
    Public Bathroom Etiquette and Accessibility

    Hosts critique modern public restroom design, discussing automatic toilets, accessibility, and the social awkwardness of shared spaces.

  12. 1:05:33
    Food Culture Debate: Sandwiches vs. Pizzas

    A humorous debate over whether sandwiches belong at dinner and the etiquette of eating pizza and other finger foods at formal gatherings.

Highlights

  • 11:26

    Twitter and Social Mediainsight

    The hosts joke about their late-night Twitter habits, tweeting at odd hours, and interacting with followers.

  • 17:05

    Capital Grill Takeoutstory

    Kevin shares an experience of ordering expensive takeout from Capital Grill during a stressful weekend with a sick baby.

  • 23:08

    Mattress Back Pain Solutionstory

    Kevin explains how switching to a quality mattress significantly improved his chronic lower back pain after years of sleeping on cheap surfaces.

  • 38:17

    Funeral Home Limo Ridestory

    A listener shares a story about their grandma picking them up from school in a borrowed limousine from the funeral home where she worked.

  • 48:06

    Floppy Disk Memoriesdebate

    The hosts debate the terminology and history of floppy disks, hard disks, and early computer peripherals.

  • 1:05:26

    Sandwiches for Dinnerdebate

    The hosts discuss whether ordering a sandwich for dinner at a nice restaurant is classy or trashy.

Quotes

  • “We don't do New York shows that a lot together, it's gonna be a good time.”
    Unnamed speaker · 0:15
  • “We are not on the fucking young, cool guy outlet.”
    Unnamed speaker · 3:01
  • “I'm not saying it's the best cheese, but I, I had, I was making buffalo chicken dip, it called for Monterey Jack, so I bought some Monterey, and then it's in the fridge, and I sprinkled that on my eggs and my pork roll, into my wrap, it was fantastic.”
    Unnamed speaker · 8:52
  • “I don't know what's going on.”
    Unnamed speaker · 50:49
  • “I was trying to print something here, and I asked Ryan, I was gonna, I was gonna send it to Ryan, "Ryan, can you print this?"”
    Unnamed speaker · 51:29
  • Ultra 20:41–22:25
  • Helix 22:27–23:58
  • Square 44:33–45:48
  • DraftKings 44:57–47:16
  • Big Mark 1:02:14–1:02:40
  • Strater 1:08:57–1:09:02

About this episode

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Watch AMERICAN GARBAGE: https://youtu.be/77zGwlLffWk?si=6E9dBr63JY7HgP9t AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Ultra: Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code GARBAGE at https://takeultra.com! Helix Sleep: Go to https://helixsleep.com/garbage for Up to 30% Off. Square: Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/garbage! Promo Code: GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

0:00
1:09:00

13,167 words · 3 speakers

Speaker names marked are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

Topics

  • floppy disk
  • hard disk
  • Capital Grill
  • Looper
  • New York
  • Pulp
  • Gotham Comedy Club
  • Batman
  • New York City
  • New York Comedy Festival

Page updated · transcript and summary are machine-generated