Breaking & Entering! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: GLD: New customers get 40% Off with code GARBAGE at https://GLD.com Chubbies: Your new wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code garbage at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Gang, Toady's got a limited 4th of July drop coming at ya. We got some nice t-shirts. Show up to the barbecue looking fresh, clean, and patriotic.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, don't be a bozo. Available at areyougarbage.com while supplies last.

• 0:13H. Foley?

  Happy 4th of July. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Hey, it's-

• 0:21H. Foley?

  It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out the group to be classy. Or to just a big ol' piece of trash.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash.

• 0:28H. Foley?

  I'm your host, H. Willie, coming at ya on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Toady's and the new addition. She's upstairs, making sweet, sweet love to the mailman.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Okay, a classic.

• 0:40H. Foley?

  My co-host coming here from across the table. This we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it. He is my best pal in the whole wide world. You know him, you love him. He's the king of the burbs, the king of the boards, the king of the one-liners.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Ayah!

• 0:57H. Foley?

  Henny Ryan.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  What up, gang? Shout out to ya. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify, and the boys are climbing a friggin' charts. How you doing? Uh, then obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all that friggin' bonus content. You got years upon years of stuff on there. Pay five bucks, you get ten. But listen, you go over there, you get a $10 level.

• 1:25H. Foley?

  You got AYG in the high school years over there. We were young, got young kids.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  Big, I got a big, full, fucking quartet of hair in Miss Bliss's class. Uh-

• 1:34H. Foley?

  Miss Bliss, that was her name?

• 1:35Speaker 01

  Who? No, it's from Saved by the Bell.

• 1:37H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  You weren't a Saved by the Bell kid, were ya?

• 1:39H. Foley?

  No. Actually, a little bit.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:42H. Foley?

  I was about a teenager when that started.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, that would've been, you know.

• 1:46H. Foley?

  I think-

• 1:46Speaker 01

  Right in your wheelhouse.

• 1:48H. Foley?

  Yeah, I don't-

• 1:48Speaker 01

  I mean, dude, I think it might've even been like-

• 1:50H. Foley?

  I thought it was cheesy. I'd have fucked those two up. Took all them broads.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what you would have done. Uh, I think it was, I think it was like eighty-

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Mario Lopez?

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about?

• 2:01Speaker 02

  He'd fuck you up.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  Dude, there were, there were, I don't think there was a day in the, in the, in, in the history where you could have beat him up.

• 2:08H. Foley?

  Well, with the blond headed kid, I could have took him.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Zack Morris, the coolest kid in school?

• 2:13H. Foley?

  I would want to!

• 2:14Speaker 01

  You're nuts.

• 2:16Speaker 02

  He could freeze time.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, no way you're getting invited to the toga party after that. Hey, bro.

• 2:20H. Foley?

  That's right, he could freeze time, couldn't he? That's pretty good. You don't think I'd be hanging out with them? I beat up Screech, he beats my ass.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:30H. Foley?

  I always liked that Mario Lopez.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Of course, how could you not?

• 2:32H. Foley?

  Straight shooter.

• 2:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:33H. Foley?

  Been working all the time, too.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Fucking forty year career.

• 2:37H. Foley?

  So on that Access Hollywood, whatever it's called? Working the carpet?

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:40H. Foley?

  Anchoring? News magazines, they call it.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:45H. Foley?

  Broadcasting.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  You've just been saying one word. Anchoring, hosting, red carpet, news broadcasting.

• 2:52H. Foley?

  He was a wrestler on that show, wasn't he?

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was also a pretty good chef. Learned that in home economics. He was a dancer, he played the drums.

• 3:00H. Foley?

  California wrestling now? Give me a break.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:05H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  You're the only guy jealous of a fictional wrestler from fucking nineteen eighty-

• 3:11H. Foley?

  Hit that tight little body on him, kid.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Nineteen eighty-nine.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  A fictional fifteen year old.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, you're crazy.

• 3:16H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, California wrestler now?

• 3:19Speaker 01

  That's not even real wrestling.

• 3:20H. Foley?

  I am crazy.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:22H. Foley?

  Fuck!

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Dude, my cousin, my cousin-

• 3:24H. Foley?

  Why don't you guys just put me in a homer?

• 3:25Speaker 01

  I, well, we've discussed it. Uh, we'll just, we'll, we'll make, well, I'll have to, I'll have to get two rooms, you, a room you live in, and then a room that we'll build the set in to make it look like this. And we'll take you, it's like a beautiful-

• 3:36H. Foley?

  No, forget it.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  It's like a beautiful mind will be sending letters to yourself and shit. Um-

• 3:41H. Foley?

  You're real, right?

• 3:42Speaker 01

  What? I don't know, sometimes. I'm, I'm also, I'm also dabbling with the, with the fact that, uh-

• 3:48H. Foley?

  Excuse me. The fact that what?

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Could all, I could just lose, lose grip of reality. Maybe this is all fake, I don't know.

• 3:56Speaker 01

  It's a simulation. My cousin texted me, and I forgot about it, but he's like, dude, I was running and I had to stop. I was dying laughing at Foley making fun of people wearing their sport, their high school jersey, all while his is on display right behind him.

• 4:12H. Foley?

  Old number sixty-two.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  Sixty-two and you think you'd take A.C. Slater? You're nuts.

• 4:20H. Foley?

  What was he?

• 4:20Speaker 01

  He did it all. What?

• 4:21H. Foley?

  He was a running back, right?

• 4:23Speaker 01

  I think so. His dad was in the military, moved around a lot, tough upbringing, guy probably slapped him around a little bit. You know what I mean? A problem with the drink, I think.

• 4:32H. Foley?

  He wasn't lifting those weights for fun.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Nah, dude, he was fighting the fucking demon.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  He was quarterback.

• 4:37H. Foley?

  Oh.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, Zach didn't play.

• 4:39H. Foley?

  Then me and him would have been boys. I would have been his center. Second string.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Practice squad.

• 4:46H. Foley?

  He's leader. What's up, Ollie? Fuck.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. I don't know where you would have fit in there. Well, you weren't, you didn't really have a... You didn't really have a home in, uh... In Bayside High.

• 4:59H. Foley?

  You don't think?

• 5:01Speaker 01

  Not really.

• 5:02H. Foley?

  I'd have been the fun big guy. Hey!

• 5:04Speaker 02

  You would have been a sad B-plot of like you going home and like having a really sad family life.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. Hey, man, you don't know. You're, you're, you're the guy that we learn what a struggle really is.

• 5:14H. Foley?

  Foley's little sister hits him.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. You don't know what somebody else is, you know, what's he, you don't know what his home life's like. Or you'd be the guy selling fucking Jesse the methamphetamines. I'm so excited. Getting all fucked up. You'd be the guy from the wrong side of the tracks, dude.

• 5:28H. Foley?

  Is that who they had?

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Boosting cars.

• 5:30H. Foley?

  Where did she get that shit from?

• 5:31Speaker 01

  They were prescribed, they were pers- like over the counter, like they were like caffeine pills or something. She got all, she was studying, she was burning a candle, both ends. That was a big one for, for drugs, for people our age. I'm so excited. Also, too, like-

• 5:43H. Foley?

  Next thing you know, it's butt to butt.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  What?

• 5:46H. Foley?

  For Rockin' for a Dream.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Which I just watched.

• 5:50H. Foley?

  You never saw that?

• 5:51Speaker 02

  No.

• 5:51H. Foley?

  Oh my, dude, that's a movie you only see once.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Oh, I'll never go back.

• 5:54H. Foley?

  Fuck that. Too dark.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  I watched that like 9 a.m.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Too dark. It's crazy. What are you guys doing?

• 6:01H. Foley?

  It's pitch black.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:02H. Foley?

  I'm gonna be on television.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember doing that like hungover one day. You know, if you go to, it was like in college when you're like finding yourself a little bit. You gotta watch it, like, you know, your little art houseies kind of things. And I'll, I'll still, I'll stick to The Rookie, thanks a lot. Um-

• 6:18H. Foley?

  Had to watch Major Payne six times to get over that.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  That's a goddamn classic. Um, I got a little something I wanted to start off with. Obviously, we're in the fucking dog days of summer in here in New York City.

• 6:30H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Dog days.

• 6:33H. Foley?

  Hot.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  Schwitzy.

• 6:34H. Foley?

  I like it as summer in the city.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Now, this is a, there's a little, I got a picture, there's a little bit of a, about a great picture. I was drunk, I was coming home, I was drunk. Uh, this is late at night. And this is more of like, this is, I don't know what this is.

• 6:46H. Foley?

  You're coming home late at night?

• 6:48Speaker 01

  Later at night. You know.

• 6:49H. Foley?

  Got your heels in your hands?

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. My scare is running from. Yeah, whatever.

• 6:54H. Foley?

  Gagging.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  That was a joke I was gonna make. Um, I, uh, yeah. And then I get to my neighbor, I, I get to my door and my neighbor's door

• 7:07Speaker 01

  is propped open all night long with, that's how they sleep in there. With a wedge. They wedge, like, they have a doorstop, so the door's open like four inches maybe.

• 7:21H. Foley?

  What?

• 7:22Speaker 01

  And at first, I, so this is, so I, I left the house.

• 7:26H. Foley?

  Who are these people?

• 7:27Speaker 01

  I don't know. Psychopaths, obviously. My, this is my take. They don't have air conditioning. I don't know, I'm assuming they, they might not have air conditioning units. So this is how they get their cross breeze? Like, they open the windows and the door to? I don't know. That's insane. I mean, we live in like a safe enough building. I'm not a doorman or nothing. But that, dude, I left the house at like nine o'clock and they had it. I went, oh, they're either, I was like, maybe they painted or, I, I don't know. This is like,

• 8:00Speaker 01

  this is what they're just doing. It's open at all times.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  I mean, you need someone on shift.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  I've never, dude, I don't, I don't know what it would take for me to.

• 8:11H. Foley?

  Just someone, the fact of someone that could just walk in there.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  I could walk in there.

• 8:15H. Foley?

  And stand over you while you're sleeping.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't even think of that. I thought about robbing a.

• 8:19H. Foley?

  And not even rob you.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 8:21H. Foley?

  I'm more scared of that.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:23H. Foley?

  Someone just standing over and watching me sleep and then leave.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  That's what, that's what.

• 8:27H. Foley?

  That's, that's what a real psycho does.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  That's what we were told, that's what I learned cat burglars do. Coming and watch you sleep, which freaked me out at a young age.

• 8:36H. Foley?

  What?

• 8:36Speaker 01

  Buddy, take the stereo or something.

• 8:38H. Foley?

  They don't do that.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  Take the PlayStation. I don't need you fucking.

• 8:41H. Foley?

  They don't stand to watch you sleep.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Some people do.

• 8:44H. Foley?

  No, not a cat. Cat burglar is just a regular guy trying to make ends meet.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  I don't know what the name is, but there are people fucking breaking in to watch you.

• 8:52H. Foley?

  Cat burglar sneaks into the window. He steals some jewels, some baseball cards, stuff like that. Then he goes back. He's a guy with a good heart. He's got a kid that's, you know, got a broken leg. The wife busts his balls and he's trying to make ends meet.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  What's the broken leg have anything to do with?

• 9:09H. Foley?

  You know, he's gotta pay for medical bills.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Pay for the gas.

• 9:11H. Foley?

  Yeah. He's a regular guy. Doesn't mean to do it. Spider-Man still beats his ass, but you know.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  Foley is actually more accurate.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  In that they don't watch you sleep.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  No, for sure. I didn't. Well, I didn't think they were gonna put some. I, that's what I was told a cat burglar was, or that was my understanding. I did not believe it because they're not burglarizing anything.

• 9:29H. Foley?

  They told you to get your fat ass to go to bed.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Well, that's not gonna help. What are you talking about? I haven't slept in fucking 28 years, motherfucker.

• 9:36H. Foley?

  Drinking coffee.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. What, what is the definition of a cat burglar?

• 9:39Speaker 02

  A thief who breaks into buildings using stealth, agility, and climbing skills.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  That's like the cat. That's the cat version of it.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  To avoid ground level security.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Ground level.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Wow. Um, yeah. Anywho.

• 9:53H. Foley?

  Psychopaths.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  That's crazy to me. I mean, you gotta think, so that's my building.

• 9:58H. Foley?

  Voyeurs. They watch you have sex with your wife. Stand there. And they leave.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  It sounds like you're about to confess to a lot of stuff.

• 10:06H. Foley?

  No.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  He's just a guy down on his luck, breaks into your house.

• 10:11H. Foley?

  I'm not a watcher.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  Okay. I don't know what you want from that. You wanted me to pry more into that?

• 10:20H. Foley?

  No, I didn't.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  I'm not a watcher. Any more follow-up questions?

• 10:25H. Foley?

  What floor is that?

• 10:28Speaker 01

  But my thing is, so anybody in my building.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Forget about people who can get in, like, that break in, or not break in, but whatever.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  A delivery driver, Uber Eats guy. There's gotta be, I mean, there's gotta be one, two, three, four, five.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  There's 50 units in my, in my one building. That building's connected to the building next to probably

• 10:59Speaker 01

  70 units. I mean, that fucking 500 people live in this building? That's crazy. That all get, that all have access to that door.

• 11:08H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  Isn't that nuts?

• 11:09H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Uh-uh.

• 11:11H. Foley?

  Just come down. Some freak that lives in the building.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  A guy on fuck, a guy from 2B.

• 11:18H. Foley?

  You've never seen him?

• 11:19Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 11:20H. Foley?

  Is it a guy, girl?

• 11:21Speaker 01

  I don't know. There was, they had...

• 11:23H. Foley?

  It's gotta be more than one person, because if you're doing that one person, you're a psychopath.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  They, they moved out before I moved, they-

• 11:28H. Foley?

  If you're abroad doing that, you're a-

• 11:30Speaker 01

  Wait, Jesus. They moved out, they moved out right after we moved in.

• 11:37H. Foley?

  They moved out?

• 11:38Speaker 01

  The, the people that were there moved out two to three months after we moved in, so I never really-

• 11:41H. Foley?

  What's that say about you?

• 11:43Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't know. New York real estate's a bitch, I don't know what to tell you. Uh... They, uh, yeah, so I don't, I've never really met, I don't know who's who.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  How much unit, how many units are on that floor?

• 11:57Speaker 01

  Nine?

• 11:59H. Foley?

  In my old building, this Asian family lived up by the elevator, and they would do that shit. But they would usually do it when they were cooking.

• 12:08H. Foley?

  And they had the door cracked. But I'd come home fucking at night, 1 o'clock in the morning-

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Still cracked, or no?

• 12:14H. Foley?

  And that fucking door's still cracked.

• 12:16Speaker 01

  If they're, if they're-

• 12:16H. Foley?

  Then I gotta walk down the hallway with my back to it, I'd be turning around.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I don't fucking-

• 12:22H. Foley?

  Cause that gives, there's no click of the thing, they'd sneak out and slice my throat, leave me laying there.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Is that what you're worried about?

• 12:30H. Foley?

  Little bit.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  Okay. Uh, yeah, that makes sense too. I never thought about they could be fucking waiting to get me.

• 12:36H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 12:38H. Foley?

  That's all a setup.

• 12:39Speaker 01

  It, it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

• 12:41H. Foley?

  You're standing there unlocking your door, all of a sudden, that door just opens and there's someone standing there.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  I got one too many fucking spritzers in me, you know what I mean? I'm not paying a tax-

• 12:50H. Foley?

  You got a tray of Zaga?

• 12:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got a big plate of fucking Zaga about to jump into this vodka Sicilian slice, which this place next to me's doing. It's kick your dick in good. Vodka Sicilian.

• 13:03H. Foley?

  It's too much for me.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Also, that was one of the times I found, that was one of the first words-

• 13:08H. Foley?

  Andrew Belucci does that. Vodka Sicilian. R.I.P.

• 13:12Speaker 01

  Who's Andrew Belucci?

• 13:13H. Foley?

  Pizza guy. Queens.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  Okay. Rest in peace.

• 13:16H. Foley?

  Yeah?

• 13:19Speaker 01

  I was one of the first things that I didn't realize I pronounced trashy till early on in

• 13:23H. Foley?

  Vodka?

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Vodka. Someone's like, if you spell it V A H K A, vodka. That's how Denzel says it in Flight. Vodka?

• 13:32H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Two vodka sodas. I'll do two vodka sodas? Captain and Kate.

• 13:37H. Foley?

  Funny they only found two bottles, because I drank three.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did, motherfucker.

• 13:43H. Foley?

  All he had to do was shut the fuck up.

• 13:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's growth. That's growth.

• 13:47H. Foley?

  Fuck growth.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  I think that.

• 13:49H. Foley?

  I got enough of that of fucking...

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Okay, guy who wants to fight AC Slater. The fuck you talking about growth?

• 13:54H. Foley?

  I got enough of that of therapy. Fucking growth.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  Um...

• 13:59H. Foley?

  Tell me I'm doing good. Fucking show you.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 14:03H. Foley?

  I'll blow this whole thing up.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Um, all that being said, we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands, gang. As you know, when you join the old Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air.

• 14:13H. Foley?

  Yes, sir.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  And I gotta be honest with you, the fucking boys over there on Patreon come up with some humdingers.

• 14:19H. Foley?

  Got some writers over there.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  They get the show just as much as we do. They, they... The Patreon helps evolve the show. The homies, they fucking, and the bozos, obviously, but like, they, they really just friggin' get it. Where you go, I would've never fucking thought of this. The boys are cooking. Um... Let's see here. Uh... This one's from Foley Socks. $10 homie, never had one read. You's ever been jammed up for snacks late night and ate someone's packed lunch? Oh, dude, that's a...

• 14:50H. Foley?

  Yes, I have.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  As a fat child, my mom knew to gatekeep the lunch snacks for me in a high cabinet. Man, that's like putting stuff in a bear bag for a fat kid. That's fucking tough. Uh, "Late night, when the pantry got dry, I would just eat my sister's lunch from the fridge. Several times she got to school with just a yogurt cup." I also love how he leaves the yogurt cup. I ain't touching that shit. I don't need no probiotics.

• 15:16H. Foley?

  Poor girl.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Uh huh. That's, dude, but also imagine, as you know...

• 15:21H. Foley?

  That's not a good feeling, can I tell you that?

• 15:23Speaker 01

  What?

• 15:24H. Foley?

  When you're eating that, you don't really enjoy it. It's more shame-driven.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  But there is a... For me, it's...

• 15:31H. Foley?

  It's scratching the itch. PB and J's a PB and J.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  When you get okay with the shame and you just go, "Oh, fuck it." There is a, there is a, there's a, there's a, a...

• 15:40H. Foley?

  You never get okay with the shame.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  A shot of endorphins do go through where you're like, even if it's for a happiness is just a moment. It is, there we go. I'm crushing this fucking, this peanut butter sandwich right now. How you doing?

• 15:52H. Foley?

  I give you that.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  I'll deal with tomorrow. I'll, I'll deal with that when it comes to my.

• 15:55H. Foley?

  The shit, he must've took. I did it like once or twice, but it was my own lunch.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Oh, there, I mean, that's like fucking.

• 16:02H. Foley?

  Well, you're not getting another sandwich.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  That's like.

• 16:05H. Foley?

  You ate in the middle of the night. I packed you too.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  Is that your dad? Oh, man. I don't know. I don't know what phase of therapy you're in, but you're, you're currently going through some mother stuff.

• 16:18H. Foley?

  Masa.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  I think that's pretty, uh.

• 16:20H. Foley?

  Patty, can you hear me? Patty, do you love me?

• 16:24Speaker 01

  No. Back to your room.

• 16:27H. Foley?

  You fat bastard.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  Um.

• 16:29H. Foley?

  Get upstairs.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I never, we never, I never was like a big packed lunch guy. Also, I had free reign.

• 16:37H. Foley?

  It took a couple of heaters and a coffee and whatnot about your day.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  Bear claw.

• 16:41H. Foley?

  Figure something out. Bear claw.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  I had free, Denise was so tired from working.

• 16:49H. Foley?

  I pictured you eating a sandwich the way like De Niro and Copland did a sandwich, like a little shitty fucking ham and cheese. I gave you a chance to be a cop and you blew it.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  They got a cup of tea. Uh, yeah, no, I didn't, uh, I had free reign, obviously. Why I became such a fat little dude. There's somebody.

• 17:11H. Foley?

  Bring a whole chicken to school?

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Somebody sent me a picture of myself that I'm like, I was like, oh, that'll be good to show on air. And I'm, I'm like, dude, it's too embarrassing.

• 17:21H. Foley?

  Why? What are you doing?

• 17:22Speaker 01

  It's, what?

• 17:24H. Foley?

  What are you doing?

• 17:25Speaker 01

  Uh, I was just at my buddy's house and it was like, uh, not a pic, it was a picture. And I, I was just such a fat. Like, tell them, like, I look at it and it makes me sad. And I'm like, I'm not ready to get made fun of at this stage.

• 17:40H. Foley?

  Bring it in. I could use this.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  I could use a win, easy win.

• 17:45H. Foley?

  Like a lead horse.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was just like, I literally like just pictured, I, cause I remember the moment it was taken. And I was just like, I can't, it was just like I closed that box and was like, we'll put that under the bed. We'll fucking address that when I got some, when I got some time on my hands. That's gonna, that's gonna need a little fucking emotional CPUs, you know, and I need to, I need to clear up some, some disk space for that.

• 18:11H. Foley?

  Kebby, let's talk about GLD, baby. GLD. Fellas, summer's here, festival season, beach trips, pool parties, weddings, you wanna look your freshest as you do.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 18:22H. Foley?

  You know that looking good matters, guys. Trust you for my big boys out there. And when you're hiding underneath hoodies and jackets and all that kinda stuff, a clean chain or bracelet, or a pendant, could take a basic outfit, make it pop.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 18:36H. Foley?

  It's all about popping.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Lope his ass on them.

• 18:38H. Foley?

  That's why we're rocking our sponsors, rocking with our sponsors, GLD.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, GLD uses real gold, every stone is hand set, and the craftsmanship is on another friggin' level. You can see the difference immediately, and when you hold it in your hand, you can feel it too. A little bit of heft to it, you know what I mean? So if you're trying to level up, uh, your summer fits without overthinking it, GLD is the move. Listen, that nice little thing just makes people, oh, that guy's a little put together, right? We're bozos, through and through bozos. Nice little, nice little necklace, nice little brand, nice little summer go, huh? That guy's, that guy's know what the frig he's talking about. I'ma listen to that, I wanna talk to that guy. Uh, GLD has an official collab with the NFL, so you can get every NFL team on a pendant this season. How you friggin' doing?

• 19:21H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 19:22Speaker 01

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• 20:07Speaker 01

  After you purchase, they're gonna ask how you heard about, how you heard about them. Support the show and tell them the boy sent you. It's time to lock in and upgrade your style this summer with GLD. Do it. Let's go.

• 20:15H. Foley?

  Hey, Chubbies.

• 20:16Speaker 01

  Chubby, chubby, chubby.

• 20:17H. Foley?

  I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about Chubbies. You know, Chubbies gang, listen, summer's finally here. You're gonna be hanging out at the pool. You're gonna be soaking in the sun. And it's finally seasonally appropriate to unleash the thighs.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:30H. Foley?

  Fellas, we all know that there's no better shorts for the summer than?

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Chubbies. Yes. Chubbies swim trunks are so incredibly stylish and comfortable that it feels illegal. We're talking bold prints, lightweight fabric that dries quickly. Very important if you're a bigger guy and four-way stretch to let you move freely from beach to the bar and back again. Chubbies has multiple inseam options so you can always find the perfect balance of comfort, confidence, and thigh exposure. Listen, inseam is big, I learned. You wanna, it's like, it goes back to just those little things. You get a little, little tighter of an inseam, it'll look put together. You got a little, it gives you a little bit more.

• 21:04H. Foley?

  You think?

• 21:05Speaker 01

  100%. I've got, dude, I'm, I-

• 21:07H. Foley?

  Cause I'm taking my Chubbies with me this-

• 21:09Speaker 01

  If you find, if you see me this summer in North Wildwood, baby, I'm gonna be chubbed up.

• 21:13H. Foley?

  Are you?

• 21:13Speaker 01

  I think, dude, you get the different size inseams. I forget exactly what they are. It's like four, five, and six, or five, and it's, and they're a little, little tight. It makes you all go, that guy's put together. That guy knows what he's doing.

• 21:22H. Foley?

  I got big legs.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  How you doing? Um.

• 21:25H. Foley?

  Small penis.

• 21:26Speaker 01

  And when it's time to tell off, grab a pair of Chubbies original shorts that are built for your summer adventures with no restrictions and zero regrets. They fit right, they feel right, and they go with everything. Whether getting dressed up for a workday, a workout, or summer vacation, Chubbies has you covered. For a limited time, Chubbies is giving our viewers 20% off their order with the code garbage at chubbyshorts.com. Uh, that's code garbage at chubbyshorts.com. I just used it last week. Support the show and tell them that we sent you. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with Chubby.

• 21:52H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah. But, that being said, I had free reign of the, I'm like, I never-

• 22:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I never had to eat someone else's lunch.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  We were never a big lunch in the, in the, I think maybe my mom would do it in the morning. I don't know, I never remember the, the stuff being packed in there.

• 22:16H. Foley?

  Olive sandwiches?

• 22:19Speaker 01

  Let's see, um...

• 22:22H. Foley?

  Matchbook from the club like this? She was at the nightclub board?

• 22:27Speaker 01

  What was the name of the place? There was a-

• 22:30H. Foley?

  Would she go out when she was young, before she met Joe?

• 22:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's how she met Joe.

• 22:35H. Foley?

  She was, she was stepping out.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  Stepping, I mean that's what you said, guy. Uh...

• 22:41H. Foley?

  She'd go out and do happy hour and stuff.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's how she met Joe.

• 22:44H. Foley?

  She was dating.

• 22:45Speaker 01

  I don't, I mean-

• 22:46H. Foley?

  How did you feel about that?

• 22:48Speaker 01

  I, what do you mean? How did I feel about my, I don't know.

• 22:51H. Foley?

  She'd be all, she'd come home, she'd be, she'd get all dolled up, put the perfume on, the pumps, all that stuff.

• 22:56Speaker 01

  It was never in front of us.

• 22:58H. Foley?

  You would see her leave.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  No, I'd be, she would do it when I'd be at my dad's.

• 23:02H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, the kids are gone this weekend.

• 23:03Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, she can't be like, "Hey, the kids are gone on fucking Thursday, it's Tuesday, I'm gonna go get, I'm gonna leave them home alone and go get fucking shithoused at Vader's."

• 23:12H. Foley?

  Is that where she went, Vader's?

• 23:13Speaker 01

  I don't know, that was a place, see if you can find Vader's in Southampton.

• 23:17H. Foley?

  She's getting fucked up at Obi-Wan's. Come on down to Yoda's.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  Uh, I think it was called Vader, and I remember we s- I stopped, I don't know.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  Vader's Bar and Grill, baby?

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Woo, Adel and Vader's. It's not still open.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Nah, it's closed.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um, it was like a, I remember they didn't open till late, which I never got. I remember being like, "Who, who are you guys, fucking..." Vader's Bar and Grill.

• 23:41H. Foley?

  Oh, there they are. There's the girls! Ladies, hello!

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Woo, whee! Oh dang, they got a 2.8, dude.

• 23:50H. Foley?

  Man.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, Second Street Pike in South Heaton.

• 23:53H. Foley?

  Wow, couple of 35, 40-year-old ladies getting back out there, let's go, girls!

• 24:01Speaker 01

  I don't know. I remember.

• 24:03H. Foley?

  Denise, the pickings are pretty slim. But you can round somebody up.

• 24:07Speaker 01

  Oh, they're back. They left and came. Vaders is back and this time they have upped their game in a very big way. After opening and closing the second generation, who reopened Vaders as a dark and gloomy. That's what I kind of remember. The dark and gloomy nightlife type. Atmosphere. I don't even know if that's where she went. I remember stopping there with my stepdad one time.

• 24:26H. Foley?

  They drag her out of there?

• 24:31Speaker 01

  I'm at home watching you fucking fat ass kid and this is what you're doing?

• 24:35H. Foley?

  He ate everybody's lunch, by the way.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  I'm gonna need a new baloney sandwich.

• 24:40H. Foley?

  We gotta stop and shop right at gonna have a pound of turkey. This kid goes through cheese like a chipmunk.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  Kid ate half a pound of cheddar already today.

• 24:51H. Foley?

  Mom, I don't feel good.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  I didn't, but I had to sound like that. I had to sound like that. You know what I mean?

• 25:01H. Foley?

  You sounded like that when I met. Cause you had the nasal, you had the chubby cheeks.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  And what do you?

• 25:08H. Foley?

  Huh? I project. Like an artist. Goddamn dramatic actor.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  Goddamn something, I'll tell you that much. A few things I can't say publicly.

• 25:21H. Foley?

  Say anything you want publicly.

• 25:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I.

• 25:31H. Foley?

  Let's go down to Vaders.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  No, I don't. There was another one. It's gonna come to me. I should. She's away. I'd call her right now. There was a couple where I remember being like. There was one.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  She'd go to Michael. We'd go down to Michael's every now and then on Street Road, the Wrinkle Ranch.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's one that was in Southampton that'll pop in my head. I just can't think of it. Cause that's where he was.

• 25:58H. Foley?

  The kitty cat club?

• 25:59Speaker 01

  He was down there. He was in more, and her friend lived in Southampton.

• 26:03H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  And she'd go out, "Well, I'm going out."

• 26:07H. Foley?

  Where's Northampton?

• 26:09Speaker 01

  I'm fro- um, yeah, it's like they're right next to each other. They're all within like, it was like seven minutes away.

• 26:14H. Foley?

  Northampton's in Bucks County?

• 26:17Speaker 01

  No, there's like a Northampton.

• 26:19H. Foley?

  High school.

• 26:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's like Bethlehem.

• 26:21H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:23H. Foley?

  Gotcha.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  Uh, Reading or Bethlehem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Northham- uh, Northampton Township, I guess. Um, I used to work in Northampton Country Club. How do you do? Um, but, it's fire. For eating all the hot dogs. Um, but yeah, I'm gonna have to think of the name, but yeah, she'd go out. "Oh, we're going out. I'm going out with, we're going out."

• 26:47H. Foley?

  Patty Cliggitt?

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Cindy. Yeah, Patty and Ollie. Now her-

• 26:51H. Foley?

  They weren't friends then?

• 26:52Speaker 01

  They grew up Patty and-

• 26:53H. Foley?

  Patty and Ollie?

• 26:54Speaker 01

  Who? She grew up with Patty. That's how she knows her.

• 26:57H. Foley?

  So she would step out with Patty? They wouldn't drag Ollie around, would they?

• 27:01Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't know.

• 27:03H. Foley?

  Girls night out? Ollie's getting dragged around?

• 27:04Speaker 01

  I think she got, she got close again with Pat, cause she was close with, I believe Patty and Ollie with my dad. They were, and then I think like-

• 27:12H. Foley?

  Yay.

• 27:13Speaker 01

  Then once she got with, once she got with Joe, they all started spending time again together as couples.

• 27:18H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  Um, yeah. There's some pics where, hey, she would smoke her Marlboro, she'd pop away, I mean, drink her little, whatever.

• 27:26H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Zambuca, like Zinfandel.

• 27:29H. Foley?

  Zambuca? She fucking jelly from Analyze?

• 27:33Speaker 01

  She's got a pinky ring on. Um, alright, let's, I'll, enough about my wonderful mother.

• 27:38H. Foley?

  I don't want to talk about it.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 27:39H. Foley?

  Respect.

• 27:41Speaker 01

  Like popping a BlueChew over there.

• 27:43H. Foley?

  Come see me at Vader's.

• 27:44Speaker 01

  Um-

• 27:48Speaker 01

  I just remember, I didn't understand it being a night, I remember, I'm like, it's a nightclub here?

• 27:52H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 27:53Speaker 01

  I'm like, why aren't you open for the day? Sell some lunch or something, make this a family institution.

• 27:57H. Foley?

  Probably tanking over there. You didn't know what was going on.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  It did feel-

• 28:01H. Foley?

  Now you do.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  It did feel like a place that you would see on like, the first 48, if that makes sense. Or like forensic files.

• 28:08H. Foley?

  Was like, the door cracked open with the police tape?

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Local, yeah, you know.

• 28:13H. Foley?

  Murder after hours?

• 28:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:14H. Foley?

  DJ gets shot?

• 28:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, there was a DJ, you're like, what the hell's going on here? It just felt, that was my, my early take. Next to a gas station.

• 28:22H. Foley?

  Now you know.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  Now you know. I don't think she was ever at Vader's though. I mean, I'm sure maybe once, but that, I don't, that wasn't her speed, I don't think. She wasn't, she wasn't backing it up and dumping it.

• 28:32H. Foley?

  No, of course not.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  They got their, they had their mother of three. She was so young. Crazy. Younger than I am now.

• 28:40H. Foley?

  Oh yeah.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Wild. Makes you think, huh?

• 28:43H. Foley?

  Young.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Time, flat circle. Um...

• 28:47H. Foley?

  Psycho.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  I'm high. Um, let's see.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  This is from Rex, $10 homie never had one read, is it garbage if when your cousin got arrested, his mom spit at one of the officers and said, "Why don't you go down to Wall Street and arrest some real criminals?" That's how you do it.

• 29:04H. Foley?

  They love that.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  That's how you do it.

• 29:06H. Foley?

  They love that.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Go down there and arrest some real criminals.

• 29:10H. Foley?

  You believe this, you're hassling me?

• 29:12Speaker 01

  My, my son's not allowed to drive through the front of a 7-Eleven. Why you go down there and arrest the people who are spending our pension, huh?

• 29:19H. Foley?

  People need this meth.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  Uh huh. That's, um, that's a big one.

• 29:23H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Justifying your transgressions with-

• 29:27H. Foley?

  I mean, you gotta get into the whole thing of like, uh, you know, an investigation and you gotta get into a fucking, uh, uh, what are they called? Uh, warrants and all that stuff? It's really tough taking down white collar crime. It's much easier to pick up her dirtbag kid for doing whatever he did. You know?

• 29:40Speaker 01

  Uh-

• 29:41H. Foley?

  Plus, a patrolman's not really responsible for that kind of investigation, it's more the FBI. Right?

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Like, all, detective division.

• 29:48H. Foley?

  Securities Exchange Commission and all that kinda stuff. That's what I would've told this broad.

• 29:54H. Foley?

  I don't know what I took to spit and went.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  Um.

• 29:57H. Foley?

  Licked it.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  We used, I used to get a lot whenever we'd be downtown. I mean, you get a parking ticket. You see that now, you see that now too, cause like, that's a bit, that's big for workers. Like if you're like a construction worker or something, you gotta park your van, you gotta find, especially in New York, you gotta park, you gotta find park, you gotta park. And then you gotta go feed the meter every two hour, you get a ticket, something. Out here trying to earn a living.

• 30:22H. Foley?

  Believe that?

• 30:22Speaker 01

  You're fucking breaking me off.

• 30:23H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'm triple parked.

• 30:24Speaker 01

  A hundred and twenty bucks. You can't win in this city. That, we'd hear that a lot. Really breaking the balls of the working man.

• 30:31H. Foley?

  That PBA show made it worse too.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  The what? PBA show?

• 30:35H. Foley?

  PPA.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Oh, in Philly.

• 30:38H. Foley?

  Was it called Parking Wars or something?

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Which I had, that was so funny, cause that got big.

• 30:44H. Foley?

  You read for that, didn't you?

• 30:47Speaker 01

  I was, I mean, I've, I've, I've lived it a couple of times, um.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  They, uh, it was so bad and so corrupt, that they were like, let's make a show on it. In Philly, that's like, cause it was like owned by a, it was a private company. The PPA is like a private company with public funding or something like that. It's all fucking. White collar, go arrest them down here at the fucking PPA. You wanna get me a ticket?

• 31:11H. Foley?

  It's all kickbacks.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's all kickbacks.

• 31:14H. Foley?

  Kickbacks from the tow trunk, the tow truck companies, the mechanics, everybody's in on it.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  They would ta, I remember that show, do people would go, you, the, the way they got ya, and the way it was great for fucking reality TV, is you had to pay the fines first. See, there was two, two or three, two windows. You go to the first payment window, they go, they go, oh, you owe eighteen hundred dollars. Now you got these people scrounging to get the eighteen hundred dollars. As someone who did it, I had to do it. You fucking, I, I, I had Danny pay, I had fucking call in to get this money. And you figure, once I, and then you get down, they go, alright, the next window, you gotta show all your paperwork. And then they go, your paperwork's bunk. This, you know, this is a four days overdue, you know, you're not inspect, we can't give you the car. And they go, well, I just gave you the fucking eighteen hundred. And you go, yeah, I can't, can't do nothing.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  That's when people would lose it. It's the reason for bulletproof glass, you know what I mean?

• 32:07H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. It's fucked up.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  Fucked up.

• 32:10H. Foley?

  Doing that to people.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  Out there, bah, working. Why don't you go arrest a real criminal? Why don't you arrest yourself?

• 32:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  Say, arrest yourself.

• 32:17H. Foley?

  Luke.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Luke probably, Luke's family probably made money off the fucking PPA. Dick kids.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  Me and my buddies had a good laugh.

• 32:24H. Foley?

  Good laugh?

• 32:26Speaker 01

  You're lighting your fucking bomb with hundred dollar bills.

• 32:28H. Foley?

  A lot of stock in Purell and masks running, you're like, twenty twenty.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Oh, that's funny. Uh, this one's just good. This is, uh, fixing the bunt. Ten dollar undercover brother never had one red. Ever fall out of a tree as an adult? That's a tough look. You're fucking up.

• 32:46H. Foley?

  Any fall as an adult, any step. I almost fucking broke my ankle.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:50H. Foley?

  Didn't you witness this?

• 32:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:52H. Foley?

  Where was I?

• 32:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, Pittsburgh. They have that little drop down bathroom.

• 32:55H. Foley?

  Oh my god, I almost killed myself in that fucking bathroom.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  It was just the three of us, too.

• 32:59H. Foley?

  My head would went right into that fucking sink.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  I would have closed the door and walked out the back entrance. I was never here.

• 33:07H. Foley?

  I would have said you pushed me.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  That's like as you-

• 33:09H. Foley?

  In a Chinese accent, but I would have said it.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  As you get older, that's when you do realize like-

• 33:15H. Foley?

  It's not there no more.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  A fall. Like dude, you would have fallen down that step. The toilet was right there. You could have smashed your head on it and you'd be-

• 33:21H. Foley?

  I just said I would have hit my head on the sink.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, you would have bled out. I'm just saying that's how-

• 33:26H. Foley?

  You're not gonna, you're not gonna send help for me? You're sitting two feet away.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  A lot of traffic. It was a popular show. It was a sold out show.

• 33:32H. Foley?

  What the hell?

• 33:33Speaker 01

  How's the ambulance gonna get through the crowd?

• 33:35H. Foley?

  Just fucking right up front. You son of a bitch.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  No, I'm just saying, not you, I'm just saying-

• 33:40H. Foley?

  You put your hand over my nose like Chrissy?

• 33:43Speaker 01

  I've seen it too where like I almost fell in the shower a couple of times and been like, well that was hit. There's no bouncing back from that.

• 33:48H. Foley?

  You're at least gonna break your arm.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Fucking something.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  An adult in a cast too.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz it's, yeah, it's tough, tough look.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  You don't, you don't bounce back. You don't fall like you used to. Like you could as a kid.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Sadder. So much sadder.

• 34:13H. Foley?

  That kinda shit. I remember I-

• 34:16Speaker 02

  From what?

• 34:16H. Foley?

  Nothing. Stepping off a curb and twisting my ankle. The searing pain.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  That's, you're a real big then.

• 34:22H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 34:24H. Foley?

  I just unmanifest, yes.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  I'm not, why, did you take that as a personal attack?

• 34:29H. Foley?

  It was a personal attack. You called me fat and disgusting. Nobody loved me. I might add another stuff on. But, I'm still true all the same.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  I'm saying even, we're talk, we're talking about being older and out of shape and falling.

• 34:43H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  And I'm saying that specifically time that you hurt your ankle stepping four and a half inches. You were...

• 34:50Speaker 01

  That one was intentional. I didn't mean the other one, I swear to God. I was painting a picture of...

• 34:56H. Foley?

  I was there asshole.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Alright, you know what, you try, you try...

• 34:59H. Foley?

  Yeah, I was a big fat pig. I'm still a big fat pig now, but I'm working on it.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  No you're not, you're looking good. Everybody's complimenting you.

• 35:04H. Foley?

  Who?

• 35:05Speaker 01

  That's a 4X, isn't it?

• 35:06H. Foley?

  You fucking prick. It's a 2X, 2XL.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  Nobody's more proud and bigger supporter of you than I am, big dog.

• 35:14H. Foley?

  Is that true?

• 35:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just spinning.

• 35:19H. Foley?

  Give me a hundred bucks.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  Okay. You want it?

• 35:22H. Foley?

  Give me 200.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 35:26H. Foley?

  No, I don't want 50s.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Fuck such a dick.

• 35:30H. Foley?

  Loser.

• 35:30Speaker 01

  Good, they're fake.

• 35:31H. Foley?

  You don't got a hundred?

• 35:32Speaker 01

  They're fake anyway.

• 35:32H. Foley?

  Where do you get 50s from?

• 35:33Speaker 01

  No I don't, I gave you all the hundreds.

• 35:35H. Foley?

  When? I get hundreds?

• 35:37Speaker 01

  When we got paid in cash at one time.

• 35:40H. Foley?

  That was like four years ago.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't, I don't, I don't spend my money on...

• 35:44H. Foley?

  You're sitting on them 50s from that long ago?

• 35:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:47H. Foley?

  No, you're not.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Where the fuck else would I get 50s? That's from that payment, which they just asked if we want to do another one of them.

• 35:52H. Foley?

  Yeah, we do.

• 35:53Speaker 01

  I knew you were gonna say.

• 35:55H. Foley?

  Yes, we do.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  I'll do a weekly if you need me.

• 35:58H. Foley?

  Corporate gig out there in the island.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 36:01H. Foley?

  Hey dang!

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. I still got, yeah, that's still floating around.

• 36:04H. Foley?

  Really?

• 36:05Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:06H. Foley?

  Man.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  How quick was yours gone?

• 36:09H. Foley?

  That night!

• 36:09Speaker 01

  That's cra, that's why I didn't give it to you that night.

• 36:12H. Foley?

  Ahah! No, not that night, that was recent. I was clean then.

• 36:18H. Foley?

  Yeah dickhead!

• 36:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:20H. Foley?

  When was that? Last week?

• 36:25Speaker 01

  Yesterday.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, yeah, I still have that. Some of it, no, not of it.

• 36:32H. Foley?

  Whatever, we're talking about me being a fat pig falling off the-

• 36:34Speaker 01

  I was, I was, I was saying, Jesus Christ, it's like fucking, it's just like, I feel it's like Leo and uh-

• 36:40H. Foley?

  I wasn't gonna recover from that.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  I was saying you worked at the airport, okay? What the fuck, who said he had a problem? I just said he had a fucking problem.

• 36:48H. Foley?

  Man, you get that fat guy sweat? When you do something like that, like, eww, eww. You get to the point where like, is the blood pumping the right way? Is there a clot gonna form?

• 36:59Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:59H. Foley?

  What's my cholesterol doing at?

• 37:02Speaker 01

  That ain't it.

• 37:03H. Foley?

  You know what I mean?

• 37:03Speaker 01

  That's when every, the whole system gets put on trial.

• 37:06H. Foley?

  The whole system.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  All, everything. I stubbed my th- this, the hangnail ain't helping everything, fucking, it's like death of a thousand cuts.

• 37:14H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  That's tough. I also, I, I was thinking about, yes, I wanna compliment you, I was next to a, uh, specifically larger gentleman, had the fat guy smell, and it made me really appreciate all your previous years of being fat, you're doing great. Never, and we said this, never had the fat guy smell.

• 37:30H. Foley?

  Nah.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Which takes a lot of work. This guy had like the musty old like shirt that was like wet for too long, kind of.

• 37:36H. Foley?

  In the deep days of the, the depression last summer, when I would go like four or five days without showering, I would get it. I'd be all sweaty and stuff.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  Anybody get that.

• 37:44H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I've, I've, I've, I've always been very, uh-

• 37:47H. Foley?

  It's funny, I liked it. Being in that, you know.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:51H. Foley?

  Sick.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  So this is from the water boy over there on Patreon.

• 37:54H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  Um, this is from the water boy, ten dollar TB watcher, two, oh, Tubi watcher.

• 38:02H. Foley?

  Tubi!

• 38:03Speaker 01

  Ten dollar Tubi watcher.

• 38:04H. Foley?

  They're fucking Tubi up as we speak, by the way.

• 38:06Speaker 01

  Why?

• 38:06H. Foley?

  They're doing a lot of shady shit. Why the fuck can't you-

• 38:09Speaker 01

  Why don't you go down there and arrest them?

• 38:11H. Foley?

  What, no, no, no, no, don't arrest Tubi.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  The real, the people who are fuck, doing shady shit.

• 38:14H. Foley?

  Yeah, don't arrest Tubi. Just can't we just leave Tubi alone? Not us.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  What?

• 38:20H. Foley?

  But just let Tubi be Tubi.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  What are they doing?

• 38:25H. Foley?

  They're, they're great, they have great movies.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  But what, I get that, what are they doing?

• 38:29H. Foley?

  They're starting to fucking creeping with the ads and the this and the that.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  I thought they were primarily based on ads, no? That's why it's free.

• 38:36H. Foley?

  Yeah, but not up front. They, they start the movie for you.

• 38:39Speaker 01

  Uh, now you're getting pre-rolls.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Luke's smoking a couple of pre-rolls, I ate that.

• 38:44H. Foley?

  Nice little moon rocks, didn't he? Getting Tommy all jacked up, Cleveland.

• 38:50H. Foley?

  You hear that?

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, it does, I.

• 38:53H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 38:56H. Foley?

  Somebody blowing a fat whistle.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Man.

• 38:59H. Foley?

  That freaked me out.

• 39:02Speaker 01

  A high pitched squeal.

• 39:03H. Foley?

  I heard thunder last night that went on too long. It sounded like...

• 39:05Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 39:07H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  I heard, it was like, maybe like midnight?

• 39:10H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  Around that time.

• 39:12H. Foley?

  It was rolling. And I was like, oh fuck, those are, those are bombs.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  We're locked in.

• 39:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 39:16Speaker 01

  I thought the same thing.

• 39:18H. Foley?

  I assumed they were, they were blowing up fucking the gas refineries out in Queens or something like that. Ah, here we go.

• 39:25H. Foley?

  Go get my suit. Go get the rifle.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  Just shoot myself right away. You're in the bathtub.

• 39:35H. Foley?

  Kim, let's talk about Chime.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  Chime!

• 39:37H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 39:41H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 39:42H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish, I could go back and say, hey, I wish I had Chime.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  I know. Listen, if, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is. Then you got these big corporate banks coming after ya.

• 40:09H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, that eh, oh, oh, five, five dollars for this, ten dollars for that. They got their hand in your pocket.

• 40:17H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding, fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. Look at that. I know, I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage. That's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes.

• 40:51H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, let's see here. This one's from Fortner, $10.

• 41:39H. Foley?

  Fortner!

• 41:40Speaker 01

  Uh, is it garbage to bury your dad in the front yard?

• 41:43H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:43Speaker 01

  He had over 500-plus acres and we buried him 30 yards from the front of the house.

• 41:47H. Foley?

  Ooh. Well, you got 500 acres, you're owning that land. I respect it. That's a, that's for Yellowstone. That's some John Dutton shit.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, but why not give him a little bit, a little bit of separation?

• 41:57H. Foley?

  A little breathing room? Yeah, something in the back's always nice. A little garden.

• 42:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would say something you gotta like bang a left around, you know what I mean? Like around the corner, 30 yards from the front, that's a little too close for comfort for me.

• 42:09H. Foley?

  Yeah. It's like where you put in the Christmas decorations.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  If he was cremated, I get that's okay. Cremated then burial, I've never seen that done.

• 42:17H. Foley?

  Yeah, my dad's burial.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, so is my stepdad.

• 42:19H. Foley?

  Yeah, a little piece of them.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  First I ever heard.

• 42:20H. Foley?

  I got, I got a, I got a jar of them, my mom's got a jar of them. I got a jar of them at the old house, I gotta go back there and get that shit. Ow, fuck, I love my dad over there.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  Ah, I'm coming! I'm coming to get you, buddy. Uh...

• 42:35Speaker 02

  I feel like you gotta be a 15-minute walk away.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you also want...

• 42:37H. Foley?

  15 minutes?

• 42:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, like a contempla...

• 42:39H. Foley?

  Then you'll never see him.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  Nah, like a contemplative walk.

• 42:41H. Foley?

  15 minutes?

• 42:42Speaker 01

  I'll never see him.

• 42:43H. Foley?

  Luke, come on. 15 minutes?

• 42:46Speaker 01

  You wanna be able to contemplate and think.

• 42:47H. Foley?

  5 minutes is all you need. Around the corner, put a bush in. 15 minutes? That's a half an hour!

• 42:54Speaker 02

  This is how they get buried 30 yards from the house.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. You'd be, you'd probably, you'd put him in a basement if you could.

• 43:00H. Foley?

  I keep him right next to the fucking TV.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Um...

• 43:03H. Foley?

  Lex's fucking Archie bunker.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  I don't know if we could do, I don't know if I, I could, I get the cremation then burial. I don't know if I could put him bones and all in the 30 yards away from the house.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  They're doing some drilling or something.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, something.

• 43:18H. Foley?

  Or it's that Havana shit. They're hitting us with a sound weapon.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, why not?

• 43:21H. Foley?

  You don't think they're gonna try to take us out first?

• 43:23Speaker 01

  Who?

• 43:23H. Foley?

  I don't know. Who's ever coming after us? We're broadcasters. We could unify the country after everything falls apart. For all they know.

• 43:30Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:31H. Foley?

  They take us out first.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  Sure. I'm okay with it.

• 43:37H. Foley?

  Don't worry Luke, I'm gonna protect ya.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  I just need your father's-

• 43:40H. Foley?

  Sexual favors needed.

• 43:41Speaker 01

  I need your father's checkbook and a car? Um-

• 43:45H. Foley?

  And a devout license.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh, I couldn't know, I couldn't do the bones. Knowingly like he's just-

• 43:52H. Foley?

  Your dad's bones are out there?

• 43:54Speaker 01

  Uh-uh.

• 43:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  Maybe my dad's bones. I'd be okay with. No, but anybody's bone, I don't wanna be that close to fucking bones.

• 44:01H. Foley?

  I don't like that those caskets are too like luxurious. They're like steel. How long does it take for the body to go in there? Like a hundred years? I wanna go right in the dirt.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  I think they go very quick. I think that's the whole idea.

• 44:13H. Foley?

  No, those caskets don't, don't break down. It's all metal.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  I think they do. I, I, I was under the impression that they do break down. Like they have like, like the bottom of it, I think breaks down. I don't know.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  Uh, coffins decomposition can take anywhere from one to a hundred years. Depends on-

• 44:30H. Foley?

  One?

• 44:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, well it's like you, you have like the, the debtors ones where it's like a cardboard.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  I also think there's some religi- I think-

• 44:37H. Foley?

  That's what I want. I wanna go, I wanna get in there within the soil, go quick.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  I think, I think religious, some, there's some religions that go like thin piece of masonite, you know what I mean?

• 44:47H. Foley?

  The hell's masonite?

• 44:48Speaker 01

  A real thin-

• 44:49H. Foley?

  Next to the Amish?

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Isn't that what it's called, real thin, uh-

• 44:52H. Foley?

  Linoleum. Luon.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  No, wood.

• 44:55H. Foley?

  Luon is wood.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  You were correct.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  That's not what I'm thinking of. I know I'm correct. They fucking dickheads. What the fuck?

• 45:02H. Foley?

  Dick.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  He said linoleum. Like I'm redoing, like I'm redoing a kitchen in the seventies. Linoleum. Fucking jerk off. Um, yeah, no, it's like, it's just like a fuck, like a big shoebox. So you're, you know,

• 45:16H. Foley?

  That's what I like.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  You're halfway gone by the time the fuck, by the time they're out of the funeral baller, you know what I mean?

• 45:21H. Foley?

  I got soup last night from a joint and fell out of the bottom of the, of the container. And like, like heated through it.

• 45:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was so hot.

• 45:28H. Foley?

  So something similar like that.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  Sure, if you need a soup analogy to get it.

• 45:32H. Foley?

  It was tomato bisque. Takan Tacos, you ever heard of it? Pretty good.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  You're getting tomato bisque?

• 45:38Speaker 01

  You're getting tomato bisque from a taco joint?

• 45:40H. Foley?

  It's like a fusion taco place. They had, they had a tomato bisque ramen. It was pretty good.

• 45:46Speaker 02

  I get that.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  I want to go to that Taco Mahal.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  You're a real fucking...

• 45:51H. Foley?

  Takan Tacos.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 45:53H. Foley?

  That's where we're going.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  Alright, man.

• 45:54H. Foley?

  Takan Tacos.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Sounds good.

• 45:56H. Foley?

  Takan Tacos. Had to say it four times. Thanks for the free bisque.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  All for, all for one cup of soup that falls out of the bag?

• 46:04H. Foley?

  That wasn't their fault, that was mine.

• 46:06Speaker 01

  I presumed.

• 46:08H. Foley?

  No.

• 46:10H. Foley?

  But it leaked through. I don't want it to leak through. Plus like that silk inside the coffin? That shit's weird. Why does it look like that? Give me some Notre Dame shit, some Eagles gear.

• 46:22H. Foley?

  Naked in a box. In the soil.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  Okay, whatever you want. Is this written down anywhere so I don't have to fight your family about it? Write this shit down.

• 46:32H. Foley?

  They want me posed up like this?

• 46:34Speaker 01

  They'll probably be charging me in greets. Fucking have you posed up on a, sitting behind a fucking kitchen, the kitchen table. You walk up, you get, you spend 20 bucks, you get to take your final picture with it, with Foley. You get there, five times, you're gonna be milking me for everything I got.

• 46:49H. Foley?

  That's why I'm purposely not writing anything down. So I can enjoy that from hell.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  Screw me one last time.

• 46:56H. Foley?

  Like Jacob Marley. You know who Jacob Marley was?

• 46:59Speaker 01

  I don't.

• 47:02H. Foley?

  Pretty much of a reader, huh?

• 47:04Speaker 01

  Know who Jenny Craig is? Hey, them.

• 47:07H. Foley?

  Never saw her. You ever, we ever gonna look at her?

• 47:09Speaker 01

  I had, she had to be a more voluptuous lady.

• 47:11H. Foley?

  I know, but I bet you probably after all that stuff, she's probably a piece. Yeah, she's real. She has to be. Probably a tight piece ass.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Is it the redheaded girl, I think?

• 47:22H. Foley?

  That's Wendy.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  Who the fuck is Wendy?

• 47:27H. Foley?

  Dave Thomas's daughter.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's a redheaded girl. Yeah, I knew her.

• 47:32Speaker 02

  I've seen her.

• 47:32H. Foley?

  Is that Ernest Hemingway?

• 47:35Speaker 01

  What? That's Queen Latifah.

• 47:37H. Foley?

  No, it looks like Ernest Hemingway.

• 47:41H. Foley?

  There she is. Weight loss guru Jenny Craig.

• 47:46Speaker 01

  Tight, you know, tight body.

• 47:47H. Foley?

  I love that 90's mom look with the, with the gold, the hair done up, those dresses.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  What one? The, the second one?

• 47:55H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 47:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's still like leftover, that's still influence from the 80's, but like they're getting a little more refined, you know what I mean?

• 48:01H. Foley?

  Love that.

• 48:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Hey, damn.

• 48:04H. Foley?

  Hey, damn!

• 48:04Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see here. Uh, this one's from AllTheToes. $10 glass case of emotion. Ever been stuck in a revolving door?

• 48:13H. Foley?

  Stuck? How do you get stuck in there?

• 48:15Speaker 01

  They stop. The big ones at the airports will stop. If you get too close, they stop. I'm assuming that's what he's talking about.

• 48:20H. Foley?

  If you get too close?

• 48:22Speaker 01

  So there's, there's, you're thinking of like, the manual one that you get in and you push. There's the automatic ones that, that, you can fit like two families in, they turn real slowly.

• 48:32H. Foley?

  I know exactly what you're talking about.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  Those, if you get too close to the front of the door, or the back of the door, as a safety feature, they stop.

• 48:42H. Foley?

  So it doesn't sweep you under?

• 48:44Speaker 01

  So it doesn't, yeah, whatever it is.

• 48:45H. Foley?

  Jeez.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  But you also, you gotta time it, and so there's, there could be seven other people going the other way, and it just always fucking gets fucked. I'm assuming that's what you're talking about, unless this bozo gets stuck in a fucking three-piece revolving door, you know what I mean?

• 48:59H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  But no, I've never been stuck in a revolving door.

• 49:03H. Foley?

  No.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  I don't, I avoid those big ones at all costs for that reason, though.

• 49:07H. Foley?

  I don't like the ones in the subway. I don't really fit.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 49:10H. Foley?

  They're scary. Unless that's somebody, they stop you, they stick you.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  That was always the thing, yeah.

• 49:16H. Foley?

  They stop you and then they stick ya. Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  I mean, they used to, I, I feel like-

• 49:21H. Foley?

  Like a rat in the cage.

• 49:22Speaker 01

  They were robbing people. Like, you really just have to have someone put their foot against it, you're stuck in there, and then I think they go, "Give me your cellphone," or whatever. And they're on the A train. Ow.

• 49:32H. Foley?

  Fuck that.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:34H. Foley?

  Stick 'em back. With my shiv. Keeping my shoe.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  How you, how you gonna bend down to your shoe in that thing? That thing's tied in a telephone box.

• 49:44H. Foley?

  It has a spring on it, it slides up and down.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  There you go. I'm sorry, I forgot who I was talking to for a minute. Yeah, totally.

• 49:50H. Foley?

  This idiot.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see here. This one's from Adam A. in LA. Great name. $10 investor, never had one read. Is it garbage if growing up, your father bragged about his bartering skills? After 08, a lot of vendors couldn't pay him for his contracting work. Instead of coming home with cash, my dad would brag to us how he made more via bartering. Previous examples include $300 worth of shallots for a $200 cash job.

• 50:18H. Foley?

  Shallots?

• 50:20Speaker 01

  $700 of nearly expired toothpaste for a $400 cash job. And his all-time best, a shopping bag full of whatever he wanted from a small-time convenience store owner who owed him a couple hundred. We still have some of the cigarettes and Tic Tacs from the score.

• 50:35H. Foley?

  Damn. Shallots go quick, though.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  I guess you gotta then peddle them?

• 50:40H. Foley?

  I guess you move the shallots.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  I mean, what's a fucking pound of shallots go for?

• 50:45H. Foley?

  $300 worth of shallots is a shitload.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:50H. Foley?

  They're like, they're good.

• 50:52Speaker 01

  You could get them, you could keep them for a year in the freezer if you try.

• 50:55H. Foley?

  The freezer? Frozen shallots?

• 50:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:59H. Foley?

  No.

• 51:00Speaker 01

  It's a great way to preserve vegetables.

• 51:01H. Foley?

  Get out of here. How you gonna keep all them shallots in the fridge? All your ice is gonna smell like onions.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  Guys have got a deep freeze, for sure.

• 51:13H. Foley?

  Alright, I'll do it.

• 51:15Speaker 01

  I don't know why you're so miffed by the fucking... You can also pickle them. Ooh.

• 51:20H. Foley?

  I like that. I like pickled onions.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  Pickled shallots.

• 51:24H. Foley?

  Pickled onions, pickled cabbage. Pickled onions are great.

• 51:30Speaker 01

  Big fan.

• 51:31H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  Very Vietnamese, does a lot of the pickled stuff, right? What I'm thinking of?

• 51:36H. Foley?

  I wouldn't know.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Okay, he took offense to that somehow, not sure, but we will move on. This one's from the water boy, we never got to the water boy, the $10 Tubi watcher.

• 51:46H. Foley?

  Talk to me.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  Uh, never had one read. You ever meet anyone with a pet ferret? My 4th grade teacher would bring two every day in the pouch of her hoodie. I, listen, I don't know much about much, that's a bad...

• 51:58H. Foley?

  That boy was single.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  That's a bad school. That is not a great school.

• 52:03H. Foley?

  Is it okay if I bring my ferrets to school?

• 52:06Speaker 01

  She probably wasn't asking, and that goes to show that the school had bigger problems than the teacher bringing two fucking, two rodents with her.

• 52:14H. Foley?

  You got a ferret in the classroom, alright. I seen Kindergarten Cop. That was pretty cool.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  Nah, I didn't like it.

• 52:21H. Foley?

  But a teacher with two ferrets in her house. Get a dog. That place must have reeked.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  I don't, yeah, they're too like rodent-y for me to like wanna cuddle, you know what I mean?

• 52:36Speaker 01

  The hands are too small.

• 52:37H. Foley?

  That musk, those are human hands, too.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't like that.

• 52:40H. Foley?

  Long fingernails.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  I don't like that. Uh-uh.

• 52:43H. Foley?

  Freak me out.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  Not my cup of tea. Um, alright, let's see, this one's from Jim K. $10 retr- $10 retired tweaker here.

• 52:50H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 52:51Speaker 01

  Um, did you ever try to learn how to count cards? That's a-

• 52:55H. Foley?

  I don't understand it.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  That's a big one.

• 52:58H. Foley?

  I don't understand it.

• 52:59Speaker 01

  I have, not have, but like, so obviously poker was really big, and then that, that, that movie 21 came out. And that was everybody's, they gave you the, they gave you the rundown.

• 53:10H. Foley?

  Hold on, let's say it's one deck.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:13H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 53:15H. Foley?

  Just because you know there might be two aces left in the deck, you don't know when they're coming.

• 53:20Speaker 01

  Doesn't matter, you're, you're, but the edge goes to you. You now know. So the, the, there's like a, and I'm making, I, these are the loose rules.

• 53:28H. Foley?

  How many decks did I use now?

• 53:29Speaker 01

  I think there can be like, it's, I think it's like 3, 5, 7, 9 or something, it's like a bunch. A shoe's a bunch of fucking, a bunch of decks. I don't know how many. Cause the lower the deck, that's like more sought after. Hey-

• 53:41H. Foley?

  What's a shoe?

• 53:42Speaker 01

  Is the thing that they're in.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  What?

• 53:47H. Foley?

  Nothing.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  You know that, we've played-

• 53:50H. Foley?

  I've never heard it called a shoe.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  That's crazy, I've played blackjack with you like 10,000 times.

• 53:54H. Foley?

  I never heard anybody call it a shoe. I'm not saying it's not, I'm just saying you're kind of a dork for knowing that.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 54:01H. Foley?

  No offense.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 54:03H. Foley?

  To you personally.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  Okay, no, uh, none taken?

• 54:07H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  Um, I understand where you're coming from.

• 54:11H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. If I said something like that, you'd make fun of me. Hit the shoe. Two on the river.

• 54:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, maybe, for sure. I get where you're coming from, definitely. Um-

• 54:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. I was, I was flexing.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  I wasn't, that's just what they're called, I don't know. There's like three things you need, that you learn at a poker, or at a blackjack table. Whatever.

• 54:39H. Foley?

  What are they?

• 54:40Speaker 01

  Shoes, socks, pants, underwear, in that order.

• 54:44H. Foley?

  Need to have them all.

• 54:44Speaker 01

  Um, listen. It's like, you value the deck, so like, I don't, I don't know the rules, but it's like, anything, a non-face card is minus one, a face card's plus one. So as they come out, you keep score. So for every face card that comes out, you go, okay, plus one, plus two, minus one, minus two, and you keep this score. And I think when it gets to like 16 or something like that, if it's ever plus 16, it's like a heavy deck, which means the chances of you getting face cards is a lot, which you want face cards. They, you know, your odds go up.

• 55:19H. Foley?

  That just reminds me, I saw...

• 55:22Speaker 01

  I never tried it, I don't know, I just know, they explained it in the movie.

• 55:25H. Foley?

  A friend of mine's neighbor was going to play cards. And he was like, him and his buddies, he's like, "You wanna go play cards?" And I was like, "Nah, I appreciate it though." Then I looked down and I saw the briefcase, the silver...

• 55:33Speaker 01

  You hate it, I mean, we've gone into it, you hate it.

• 55:37H. Foley?

  I'd rather blow my fucking brains out.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  But the inverse of like, what if this is just now a guy carrying like hundreds of chips in his hands? Or in plastic bags?

• 55:51Speaker 01

  Well, it looks stupider.

• 55:52H. Foley?

  Fair enough.

• 55:53Speaker 01

  That's a good point, I never thought, the, the briefcase, if you're not, if you don't enjoy cards, also, I don't know anybody rolling with those briefcases anymore. That was a very of the-

• 56:02H. Foley?

  These guys were.

• 56:03Speaker 01

  Of the time and place, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  It is a tough look, I mean, anything stainless steel, it's like, show, it's like, look at me, it's, uh, I got the, I got the chips, I got... Uh, yeah, I get, if you're not a fan of, I get how that's a, the visualization of a tough hang. Uh, for sure. But, I think it is a dirtbag thing to, for sure a dirtbag thing to try and learn how to count cards and like myself have a loose understanding from a movie you saw 15 years ago. You know what I mean? That's like very-

• 56:39H. Foley?

  That's all I need, baby.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's all, I'm like, I got, and then like if anybody brings it up, I go, I get it, plus, plus to, you know, listen, I know, I haven't been sharpening my skills recently, so I'm a little rusty, but I know the basics. Same way with, I have like, text with like poker. I'm like playable, but, I don't know what the fuck-

• 56:58H. Foley?

  You're a good blackjack player, I like playing blackjack with you, you're the only guy I like playing blackjack with, best guy ever.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  And you know what they go, where they keep the cards?

• 57:06H. Foley?

  In the shoe.

• 57:06Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 57:07H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 57:10H. Foley?

  Yours would be called the smelly shoe.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  Phew, okay.

• 57:15H. Foley?

  Superman wrote that one.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  Somebody get the shot, the guy who shot a B12? Um, also, put the fucking toy down. You don't get to make jokes like that and play with a toy at the same time, okay? Listen, everybody, everybody takes a couple of misses, but you gotta keep your fucking head in the game. Sitting over here playing with an action figure.

• 57:31H. Foley?

  I'm not playing with an action figure, I just keep it in my hand.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 57:37H. Foley?

  Luke got it for me.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  Must be kryptonite, the way you bombing.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  Not great either.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  What? That was okay. It was a little too cool, like, I made it try to sound too cool.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  You did.

• 57:48H. Foley?

  Say where the cook at?

• 57:52Speaker 01

  You code switching an among? Okay, okay, okay guy. Um, alright, let's see here, this one's uh, from, I guess this is a Pokemon reference? Bugman Blast Toys? Blast Toys, is that a-

• 58:07Speaker 02

  Blast Toys, yeah.

• 58:08H. Foley?

  Bugman Blastoid?

• 58:09Speaker 01

  Blastoid, this is Blast Toys.

• 58:11Speaker 02

  Blast Toys, yeah, SE?

• 58:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, O I S E.

• 58:15H. Foley?

  Is it a good Pokemon to be?

• 58:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:17H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 58:17Speaker 02

  It's one of the OGs.

• 58:18H. Foley?

  Really?

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:19H. Foley?

  Sweet, I be in the little ball?

• 58:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:22H. Foley?

  I come out fucking somebody up?

• 58:23Speaker 02

  Blast Toys is huge, he's a third evolution.

• 58:25H. Foley?

  What can I do?

• 58:26Speaker 02

  You got two tank water cannons on your back.

• 58:29H. Foley?

  Water cannons?

• 58:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Pussy.

• 58:31H. Foley?

  What am I doing with that?

• 58:32Speaker 01

  Showering people, I ain't that, hot. Okay, I'm in.

• 58:36H. Foley?

  Water cannons?

• 58:37Speaker 02

  You got hydro pump, you got a bunch of moves.

• 58:40H. Foley?

  I got moves.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  Alright, anyway.

• 58:46H. Foley?

  Hydro can, I want lasers, phasers, bombs.

• 58:48Speaker 02

  Your mega evolution kinda does that, but that's a later thing that I didn't really get into.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 58:54H. Foley?

  Let's discuss this more.

• 58:58H. Foley?

  What do you want, shoebox?

• 59:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry the guy trying to fucking run the show. I'm sorry, am I bothering you?

• 59:05H. Foley?

  Let's go Toby Maguire. To for grace.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  Oh, cards?

• 59:10H. Foley?

  You sit at a poker table with your headphones on getting a massage. I love that. Getting a massage, playing cards, getting a massage.

• 59:17Speaker 01

  Do you think this is...

• 59:18H. Foley?

  Fuck you.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  I feel like you're really, you really think you're talking to me.

• 59:22H. Foley?

  No.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  You don't not think that. You really just pictured me.

• 59:26H. Foley?

  Mr. Maguire.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  My hood up, sunglasses on, getting a massage, all aloof.

• 59:31H. Foley?

  Yeah, some chick that thinks you're gross. She definitely does.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  It'd be great if I had a girl walk out and start massaging me right now.

• 59:39H. Foley?

  Just give me a minute.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  Eating a sandwich or something. I was always, very performative, that kinda stuff, like, yeah. I used, we used to play like real shitty games at like the fucking Taj and stuff like that. And there would be people, you didn't like that. It's crazy, it's crazy what you take offense to. It's, yeah, I say that and you think I think I'm saying I'm better than you. There's something in it.

• 1:00:02H. Foley?

  No.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  There's something, there's something.

• 1:00:04H. Foley?

  At the Taj. We drive down to the Taj dude.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  What we do?

• 1:00:10H. Foley?

  Listening to Nickelback.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Are you in a band right now?

• 1:00:13H. Foley?

  No.

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  And you're breaking my balls for trying to be cool? What are you talking about? You're insane.

• 1:00:19H. Foley?

  Shout out to Mr. Rooster. Not in the band.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  They wouldn't let you in, huh? Only, only using you for clout?

• 1:00:24H. Foley?

  No.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  What are you paying them to be friends with them?

• 1:00:28H. Foley?

  Like Sam and the funny people?

• 1:00:29Speaker 01

  You're the roadie?

• 1:00:32H. Foley?

  I move some gear.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  There would be, you'd be playing a game, you have like a hundred bucks and fifty, like, this is the small potatoes, smallest game, that, you know what I mean?

• 1:00:41H. Foley?

  Oh, I knew that.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  I wanna say the name of the game to make even more, man.

• 1:00:46H. Foley?

  Please. Shuffle butter, whatever it's called. I'm a fucking trepizoid. What's it called?

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  A fat ass.

• 1:00:53H. Foley?

  Botazoid.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Nothing on that.

• 1:00:55H. Foley?

  I got water cannons.

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  You got cannons, alright.

• 1:00:57H. Foley?

  I'd wet your whole table.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Pair of double D's if he has me.

• 1:01:00H. Foley?

  Nuh-uh.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  Okay, this guy really yes and stuff.

• 1:01:03H. Foley?

  I do have gorilla titties, though. I have like old man gorilla titties.

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:07H. Foley?

  Cause they're sagging. My nips are fucking like razor sharp, too. I look like a silverback.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  More of a snorlax.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  This conversation's a boor-lax, tell you that much. Whatever. So there I am, playing 2-4 Omaha.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  You wanna be like an operator, too.

• 1:01:29H. Foley?

  Alright, 2-4 Omaha.

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  I'm pot committed.

• 1:01:32H. Foley?

  But I gotta hurry up, we're almost at our pretzel rods.

• 1:01:38H. Foley?

  Delise is calling from Vader's and picked me up.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  How old am I in this and she's coming to pick me up?

• 1:01:46H. Foley?

  Hopefully the guy's drunk.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  He was.

• 1:01:55H. Foley?

  Ken, get your fat ass in the car!

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  I was never fat to her.

• 1:01:59H. Foley?

  Mom's gotta get home and get a good night's sleep.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  Oh, he's yelling that.

• 1:02:07H. Foley?

  We're back, baby!

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  Minute fifty-eight.

• 1:02:11H. Foley?

  I die.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  Don't forget, I wanna be buried in your front yard!

• 1:02:16H. Foley?

  Twenty feet!

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  Uh, ten dollar homie never had one read. What is the most garbage snack to have in a hospital? I saw a patient at work have a big box of club crackers and a can of cheese spray.

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  That's it, we gotta wrap it up. That is certified dirtbag shit, dude. Dude, imagine-

• 1:02:36H. Foley?

  Club crackers is so good!

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  Dude, a can of spring cheese at a hospital is wild.

• 1:02:42H. Foley?

  Over by the flowers and ginger.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Doctors, so the doctors looking over the x-rays in front of you.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  You're doing it through the cracker.

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  Oh, once I figured you could do that, get outta town.

• 1:02:54H. Foley?

  Bet you did. Two on the Omaha, three on the club crackers. Gang, we love you, see you next week!

• 1:03:00Speaker 01

  Peace.