Pod Insights Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast Chain Restaurants Edition w/ Kippy & Foley About this episode Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon about Chain Restaurants! It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show!
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Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.
Steal shampoo from hotels?
Own a George Foreman Grill?
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Transcript 11,726 words · 4 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 H. Foley? Again, we want to thank everybody for all the love and support on the Route 66 special. It is out now. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out.
0:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, and the Back on the Block Tour starts this week. Tickets still available for Pontiac, Michigan, March 8th. March 11th, Milwaukee Improv. And then March 14th, Minneapolis, Minnesota at the Fillmore. Get your tickets on barbecue.com. We'll see you there.
0:20 Speaker 02 Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
0:40 H. Foley? Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?
0:46 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
0:46 H. Foley? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they have to be classy.
0:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:51 H. Foley? Except they're just a big old piece of trash.
0:53 Speaker 01 Trash, trash, trash.
0:54 H. Foley? I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in a new addition. Beautiful spring day. Tooties got the screen windows put in.
1:02 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:02 H. Foley? A lot of holes in those things. If you know what I mean.
1:05 Speaker 01 Couple of crack pipes.
1:06 H. Foley? Couple of crack pipes, some fucking bowls, whatever she's doing with them. It's like a tic-tac-toe board in there.
1:13 Speaker 01 Sure.
1:14 H. Foley? Like Weevil's got at them or something.
1:16 Speaker 01 And Ooh's got it.
1:18 H. Foley? My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman. He's my best pal in the whole wide world. Let me tell you this right now, when you're reaching for a best pal, do yourself a favor, you make it a kippy. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
1:33 Speaker 01 What up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe. Rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available on Spotify. Go over there, leave your little comments. We're climbing the charts over there.
1:45 H. Foley? Climbing the charts over there on Spotify. I don't want to dig it.
1:47 Speaker 01 I know. Kids are cooking.
1:49 H. Foley? Tell that Mel Robbins to step aside. The boys are in town.
1:51 Speaker 01 Uh, then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage. You go over there, you get all your bonus content, gang.
1:58 H. Foley? And of course, the Route 66 Tour.
2:00 Speaker 01 Go check out the special, baby.
2:01 H. Foley? You'll love it.
2:02 Speaker 01 If you've ever wondered if you're a part of the army of garbage, go watch that. And if that don't punch you right in the dick, I don't know what does. You ain't my kind of guy.
2:11 H. Foley? You'll laugh, you'll cry. I think there's no smell of vision on this thing.
2:17 H. Foley? Let me tell you this.
2:18 Speaker 01 What?
2:19 H. Foley? Let me take you back. It's a Friday night.
2:23 H. Foley? Say you're in about 8th grade.
2:24 Speaker 01 I'm listening.
2:25 H. Foley? You spent the afternoon in class. Probably got a little swamp ass. You get home.
2:30 Speaker 01 I'm listening.
2:31 H. Foley? Probably had some cigarettes.
2:32 Speaker 01 Eighth.
2:33 H. Foley? Right? Probably smoking some heaters.
2:35 Speaker 01 Wait, in school?
2:37 H. Foley? Waiting for the, I don't know what you do.
2:38 Speaker 01 Now, we-
2:39 H. Foley? Under the bleachers, out by the woods.
2:40 Speaker 01 Now, that was, heaters were still weekend. I was a weekend warrior when it came to heaters at that age.
2:46 H. Foley? Maybe you looked at your nudie mags or whatever.
2:48 Speaker 01 Nah, we had the internet.
2:49 H. Foley? Denise gets home from work.
2:51 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
2:51 H. Foley? Nothing's in the fridge.
2:53 Speaker 01 Sure, that sounds about right.
2:54 H. Foley? You got three hungry kids. What does she say? Load up the bravado. We're going out to Applebee's.
3:02 Speaker 01 Shout out to Applebee's on Street Road, uh, down there, Street Road in like Knoll's Ave or something like.
3:09 H. Foley? Oooh.
3:09 Speaker 01 Feast, I'm talking Feasterville. Not down, not down there with the dirt bags at the opposite end.
3:13 H. Foley? Wash your hands, clean the boogers out of your nose.
3:16 Speaker 01 No, so this was it-
3:17 H. Foley? Start your LimeWire download before you leave.
3:20 Speaker 01 This was, this was it for, uh, uh, we were an Applebee's family, so at this point, 8th grade, 7th, 8th grade, whatever. My brother and sister were kinda gone. My sister's in college at that point. My brother's going to a school in Philadelphia, so he's, he was-
3:35 H. Foley? Sure.
3:36 Speaker 01 He was just kinda loosey goose. He's living with my aunt, not living with my aunt, living with, living with, living with the rich kids.
3:41 H. Foley? Is that what he was doing? He was that, he went to Episcopal, right?
3:45 Speaker 01 He went to Penn Charter.
3:46 H. Foley? Very good schools if you don't know.
3:48 Speaker 01 A couple of strings had to be pulled to get him in there. I think he had to repeat two or three years. He did.
3:55 H. Foley? Only 21 year old in 10th grade?
3:57 Speaker 01 He doubled up on 10th grade or something. He's ahead of his time.
4:00 H. Foley? I didn't know that.
4:01 Speaker 01 What?
4:02 H. Foley? Wow, that he was, you were, man, you are trash.
4:05 Speaker 01 What?
4:05 H. Foley? You were do, he was down there staying with an aunt?
4:08 Speaker 01 Well, my aunt lived in Jersey, but her kids also went there.
4:11 H. Foley? Right.
4:12 Speaker 01 I don't know how they all got in there.
4:14 H. Foley? Good lord.
4:15 Speaker 01 Uh, but, so they all stayed together.
4:17 H. Foley? That's a, that's a premium Philadelphia school district.
4:20 Speaker 01 Academy.
4:21 H. Foley? Academy?
4:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:22 H. Foley? Is that a Friends school?
4:24 Speaker 01 I don't think so.
4:24 H. Foley? Never understood what that was.
4:25 Speaker 01 No, it's a Quaker school. Maybe the Quakers are friends.
4:27 H. Foley? Yikes. They used to creep me out.
4:29 Speaker 01 Start fucking, start brainwashing you.
4:32 H. Foley? When we went there, I knew that place was haunted. Wherever we went, like, uh, you know, Abington Friends or whatever it was. Mm mm, I'm not going to that locker room.
4:39 Speaker 01 Buddy, I ain't taking my underwear off around here. You gonna get me.
4:43 H. Foley? God damn, the nut will get me.
4:44 Speaker 01 But at that point, I'm by myself. It's me, my mom. My mom comes home from work, pearly.
4:52 H. Foley? Was there ever a situation?
4:53 Speaker 01 It's a rainy, it's a rainy spring night. We're in, we're probably, at this point, we're probably in the Sebring. I had a little bit of a leak in that, I gotta be honest with you.
5:03 H. Foley? Sebring convertible.
5:03 Speaker 01 Sebring convertible. Uh, her midlife crisis car.
5:09 Speaker 01 Uh, she let my brother, she let my, yeah, my stepdad's in the picture, but she let my brother negotiate that deal when he was about 13 years old, not even joking. They were driving by, he goes, "Let's go look at that." He, he, we went in and he's like, "Listen, we'll do like five, we'll do five, roll this over."
5:24 H. Foley? He's out there kicking the tires, his pen charter uniform on.
5:27 Speaker 01 Beating the kid up on price. Um, my stepdad worked down around the street road, that's where his shop was. So, we would go, "Oh, Joe's wrapping up at the shop. It's Friday night, they're each looking for some cocktails, I'm looking for some chicken tendies."
5:44 H. Foley? Sure.
5:44 Speaker 01 Where does that happen? Eat and go to the neighborhood, shout out the Applebee's.
5:48 H. Foley? Now, if you weren't in the picture.
5:49 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
5:50 H. Foley? Say you drowned in a pool or something like that.
5:52 Speaker 01 Applebee's, not the booth.
5:53 H. Foley? They'd be out enjoying themselves.
5:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:55 H. Foley? But they got you, third wheeling it.
5:57 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
5:58 H. Foley? Gunning up the works.
5:59 Speaker 01 Yeah? I mean, that was a lot of birthdays there, a lot of times just me and my mom, or me and my mom, my stepdad, just there. Just, just there, that was the first time I-
6:09 H. Foley? Signature cocktails.
6:12 Speaker 01 Nah, that was Absolut and Tonics, doubles, big glass, big glass.
6:16 H. Foley? Holy shit.
6:16 Speaker 01 What?
6:17 H. Foley? That's, what do you mean, what? What me? Also too-
6:22 Speaker 01 My stepdad was an Absolut and tonic man.
6:24 H. Foley? Also too-
6:25 Speaker 01 What?
6:25 H. Foley? Which I respect the Absolut, Absolut hit hard. Everybody loved Absolut.
6:30 Speaker 01 The merch alone, you were fucking all over.
6:33 H. Foley? And then Absolut Citron, oh my god, Absolut. Then it all fell apart with Pinnacle and fucking, uh, what was the one, the cotton candy one, was that Pinnacle?
6:41 Speaker 01 I think that was Pinnacle, yeah, the Pinnacle had all the different-
6:44 H. Foley? Three olives?
6:45 Speaker 01 Uh, shout out Three Olives. I remember, we had it, we had a bottle of, we had a bottle of Absolut Pepper.
6:52 H. Foley? When the coke's all gone. When you're out of salt, hit the pepper.
6:56 Speaker 01 I remember taking a nip at that one time. Must have been about 12 years. Woo, man. Felt like a bang bang. Felt like I was doing a line of, a line of coke and gunpowder.
7:07 H. Foley? What, isn't that what they do?
7:08 Speaker 01 In order to war.
7:11 Speaker 01 A bang bang, I think.
7:12 H. Foley? Some Somalis are doing over there.
7:14 Speaker 01 Get all hopped up. Shout out to Coney.
7:18 Speaker 01 Joseph Coney. He got the child warriors all hopped up on bang bangs.
7:27 H. Foley? A pair of sweats and an AK, look at that.
7:29 Speaker 01 Uh huh. But a lot of my time, we were, we were there and then they would go out, I've said this before, they would go out on their anniversary or birthdays. They would go to App, they'd go to Outback and the kids couldn't go.
7:38 H. Foley? Sure. Which we were never really, other than a few times with the family, my parents looked at those places as more expensive for some reason, which I didn't get. They never, I think maybe when they, when the, the rib deal was going on at Chili's or whatever, maybe they took advantage of that. But either my dad didn't trust them. He liked the Denny's. We'd do a Denny's, we'd do a Ponderosa, do a ground round, the first, you know, incarnation of, of the casual dining chain spot. But I do have to say this, when you're going to an Applebee's on a Friday night as a family and there's two separate cars, buddy, that's bad.
8:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:23 H. Foley? He's out there in the world. Then you leave, go into the, because for me as a kid, walking out of that place, go to the parking lot.
8:30 Speaker 01 Never thought about it that way.
8:31 H. Foley? I'll see you guys at home. And he goes and gets in his car and you get in the car with your mom or vice versa.
8:37 Speaker 01 Uh huh. Yeah. I never thought about it that way.
8:40 H. Foley? That wasn't happening at the Dempsey household.
8:42 Speaker 03 Happened like four times.
8:44 Speaker 01 Uh, but I mean.
8:45 H. Foley? You're telling your parents for getting divorced, probably.
8:47 Speaker 01 That, it was, yeah. So that, my first time had barbecue chicken done right, I blew my fucking hair back. Also, I remember the first, we were a big Pizza Hut family too. Shout out to Pizza, Pizza Hut, the, the, the sit down. I'd go there with my mom. That was the first time.
11:17 Speaker 01 But that was my mom's go-to. That was like celebrations. That was the first place I ever had ice cream on a hot brownie. And I told everybody. The duality of temperatures blew my fucking hair back.
11:33 H. Foley? They call it "à la mode."
11:35 Speaker 01 Is that what that means?
11:36 H. Foley? À la mode.
11:38 Speaker 01 I always thought that had to do with-
11:38 H. Foley? French almonds. For a fat ass kid.
11:41 Speaker 01 No, it was my birthday. And man, I remember dipping in like it, the spoon melted the ice cream a little. And I remember being like, "I'll give it a shot."
11:50 H. Foley? The melted ice cream?
11:51 Speaker 01 Ohhh. It-
11:54 H. Foley? Woo!
11:55 Speaker 01 I thought only they did it. I was like, "You guys gotta get down to Applebee's in Feasterville."
12:01 H. Foley? They are- This ain't on the news.
12:02 Speaker 01 Yeah. I didn't know that was like at restaurants. Cause we were in a dessert family. I was just, it was my birthday or something. I got it.
12:09 H. Foley? That's why they're great. They just took the extra stuff. You get a brownie and ice cream at home, your mom, unless they're coming out of the oven, she's not gonna take the brownie and put it in a bowl, pop it in the microwave for a couple of, you know, for 20 seconds to get it warm and then throw a dollop of-
12:22 Speaker 01 She's Chef Ramsay, maybe. And he fucking, Denise was not doing that.
12:26 H. Foley? Man, that's alright.
12:28 Speaker 01 I was, "Woo wee." I was, I mean like, I didn't, also didn't find out chain restaurants, and obviously when we say trashy, obviously they're a maze. I love them. We go to them on the road. I was at a cheese, I was at a Cheesecake Factory, which I wouldn't lump into that, but people do.
12:47 H. Foley? Cheesecake Factory, you said?
12:48 Speaker 01 I just, I had it.
12:49 H. Foley? Gentlemen.
12:49 Speaker 01 I had it yesterday in North Jersey.
12:51 H. Foley? You did?
12:52 Speaker 01 I did.
12:52 H. Foley? Whoa!
12:54 Speaker 01 I had to convince my wi- well, she's been there, but she had forgot. I don't know how you forget the Factory. And I was like, "Yeah, it's great. They got a lot of good things." Meanwhile, I knew I was getting that chicken parm sandwich and-
13:04 H. Foley? You heard that work whistle? Woo! Let's go punching at the Factory.
13:07 Speaker 01 Got my hard hat on. 1820 calories out the door.
13:11 H. Foley? Dude, the iced tea's 1800. I, dude, you get unsweetened iced tea there, it's 4,000 calories.
13:17 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
13:18 H. Foley? So they gotta get rid of all that shit, putting that in our faces.
13:21 Speaker 01 They should all that.
13:22 H. Foley? Try to have a good time.
13:23 Speaker 01 Um, I, I would lump that in. I didn't find out Applebee's was tra- you know, not considered high class.
13:30 H. Foley? Well, here's the thing, I'm trying to cut you off-
13:31 Speaker 01 Until my boy Flip, his parents were a little more culture. Like, a little more, I would call them artsy douchebags.
13:41 Speaker 01 Remember his dad liked jazz. I was like, what the fuck dude? What is he, what is he back in time? What do you mean he likes jazz?
13:48 H. Foley? Where do the lyrics kick in?
13:51 H. Foley? It's got no hook on it dude. This shit stinks.
13:54 Speaker 01 Does he not know any Stones? This guy stinks.
13:56 H. Foley? Jazz to a kid might as well be a stun gun.
13:58 Speaker 01 But he was like, we gonna, he just said it in passing one time. Yeah, it was like fucking Applebee's or whatever. I was like, whoa. That, it was, I heard it in passing that it wa-
14:07 H. Foley? Who's getting married?
14:08 Speaker 01 It wasn't considered good, no.
14:10 H. Foley? Well, at, for a minute, they, I mean, not for a minute, for a while, they were. I mean, that was, you know what I mean? That was it.
14:18 Speaker 01 That was, the nicest places we would go were just chain restaurants. You know, a Fridays out there or wherever. Or we would do like Philly at that point had a couple, in northeast Philly, there was a couple independent ones. They were like bars, but their version of like a TGI Fridays.
14:35 H. Foley? I know the guy that kinda started that stuff in Philly. For a long time in Philly, it was either, you know, like a diner or it was a really nice, uh, like, you know, like a, like a five star restaurant. What's, what's the French joint that was down there? You remember that French place?
14:49 Speaker 01 Le Bozo.
14:50 H. Foley? Something like that. Le Bec Fin.
14:51 Speaker 01 Le Bec Fin.
14:52 H. Foley? It was like, it was like that.
14:53 Speaker 01 I always thought they just serve, uh, like sharks and stuff there. Like, I thought it was like high end seafood. It had fin in the name. That's all, buddy. They didn't have, they, they were, they were serving fish.
15:05 H. Foley? They got me eating walrus.
15:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, I was like, nah dude.
15:08 H. Foley? Yeah. And then the, the, you know, the, the, the smaller casual dining places started popping up. But that wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the big chains.
15:16 Speaker 01 They, they were the trailblazers.
15:17 H. Foley? Goddamn Fridays, Chili's, Ponderosa.
15:20 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
15:21 H. Foley? Give me a break.
15:22 Speaker 01 Yeah. We, we have all, one of our, one of my favorite meals ever was with you at a, at Altoona, Pennsylvania or whatever.
15:28 H. Foley? Altoona, cold day in Altoona.
15:30 Speaker 01 The very weekend where Are You Garbage started.
15:33 H. Foley? Yeah.
15:33 Speaker 01 On that ride home. I was making fun of you for drinking milk with dinner, but we had to cross like five lanes of highway to get to a fucking, uh, empty, empty Fridays.
15:44 H. Foley? An oasis.
15:45 Speaker 01 Empty. It was empty.
15:46 H. Foley? In the middle of a desert.
15:47 Speaker 01 And we, I remember putting, I go, you wanna do a, I had to do a sampler. And, man, sampler to start? Hey, man, talk of Le Bec Fin who?
15:58 H. Foley? Yeah.
15:59 Speaker 01 Shout out to TGI.
15:59 H. Foley? I remember the nap I took after that. I eat sugar coma. Seepy time.
16:05 Speaker 01 Jack Daniels barbecue sauce. Uh, alright, but let's get into it. So obviously, we're talking, um, chain restaurants, casual dining. I'm talking your, everything from your Chi Chi's to your Applebee's to your Friday.
16:18 H. Foley? Fried ice cream.
16:18 Speaker 01 Ponderosa Grill, whatever that was for you, because some of them are regional, obviously.
16:23 H. Foley? Yeah.
16:23 Speaker 01 And in some of the smaller, more rural areas, these are like the restaurants. Like you gotta drive 30, 40 minutes to get to the Applebee's and they're throwing out the best food.
16:33 H. Foley? Catch a wait too.
16:34 Speaker 01 And most consistent.
16:35 H. Foley? Catch a wait.
16:36 Speaker 01 Catch a wait. I remember I used to get, I used to get the pager.
16:38 H. Foley? Get the pager.
16:39 Speaker 01 Get the pager. Jesus Christ. We were big. My dad would pull up, someone run in and put our name in. And that was, you always felt like you were like a forward operating, like marine team.
16:50 H. Foley? Yeah.
16:50 Speaker 01 He'd how you'd like roll out of the car and still be moving. Let me get five for smoking under Dan.
16:55 H. Foley? You know where the Foley's didn't do well?
16:57 Speaker 01 Everywhere.
16:58 H. Foley? Waiting, waiting for your table in the vestibule, going into the restaurant where the benches were.
17:05 Speaker 01 Two kids fighting.
17:06 H. Foley? Talk about, get over here, move, get away.
17:09 Speaker 01 There was always a good family across from you, where they were like holding their kids back from you. Like, oh no, don't look at these. Me and my dude Danny had me in a headlock, I'm crying.
17:17 H. Foley? Chasing a gumball on the floor. Yeah. Bad news.
17:21 Speaker 01 Asking for change.
17:22 H. Foley? At any moment, dinner could be ruined. Until we got to the table, and even at the table, all it took was one knocked over Shirley Temple and it was gonna be a bad night.
17:32 Speaker 01 Sure.
17:32 H. Foley? I don't know if my dad ever had a peaceful, enjoyable meal until I was in college. Then we, then we like, he liked going out to dinner. We'd go down to Ralph's down in Philly, get on the muscles, all that shit. Ruin his shirt.
17:44 Speaker 01 Sure.
17:45 H. Foley? But up until that, it was just, yeah.
17:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:48 H. Foley? Chaos could break out at any moment.
17:50 Speaker 01 I know. What are you doing?
17:51 H. Foley? Helix, helix, helix, baby.
17:53 Speaker 01 Woo hoo.
17:53 H. Foley? Kippy, let's talk about Helix mattresses. I know you got one, I got one, gang. Do yourself a favor. Get over to Helix, take the quiz, find out how you sleep, get a little information. How long does a quiz take, you ask?
18:05 Speaker 01 I don't know, probably was it an hour?
18:07 H. Foley? Two, three minutes, man.
18:08 Speaker 01 That's why they're good.
18:09 H. Foley? Find out whether you sleep on your side, on your back. Are you a heavy sleeper? Are you a light sleeper? Do you sleep hot? Do you sleep cold? Find all that stuff out. They match up with the perfect mattress for you. Helix, the last mattress you're ever gonna have.
18:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, before I had a Helix mattress, I used to wake up. My wife would wake up. I'd be at the end of the bed like a, like an old detective with a case hanging. I couldn't sleep. Well, I don't sleep great. Helix is the only good sleep I can get. If I'm on the road, I get bad sleep because I'm not in my Helix. I gotta get home and get to the Helix, baby. Everybody knows that. It's, uh, it's the best sleep I had in my life. And when I'm not in my Helix, I, boy, do I miss it.
18:43 H. Foley? And he is cranky.
18:44 Speaker 01 Some other guy is. Go to helixsleep.com/garbage for 20% off site wide, baby. That's 20% off site wide at helixsleep.com/garbage. One more time, 20% off site wide. Helixsleep.com/garbage. Do it.
18:57 H. Foley? Get what's on about Shopify?
18:58 Speaker 01 Shout out to Shopify, baby.
19:00 H. Foley? Are you Shopify family here?
19:01 Speaker 01 Why do you ask me stupid questions? Of course we're a Shopify family.
19:05 H. Foley? When you go to our website, what's the checkout? Is it Shopify?
19:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's why everything goes smoothly because Shopify is running point on it, daddy-o.
19:12 H. Foley? We know we got a lot of hustlers out there. We know we got a lot of guys trying to get some projects off the ground. They're selling this, they're selling that, but they want to make it their main, main, main gig. Shopify can help you do that.
19:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, uh, before Shopify, we were using some bozo ass company. I forget what it was, but everything was getting jammed up. I was, this order was getting lost. Hey, I never got this. I never got that. Things weren't being completed. Hey, I paid you. I didn't get a receipt. This whole nine yards. Shopify, I ain't had to worry about nothing since. Uh, so upgrade your business and get the same exact checkout that we're using over there at areyougarbage.com. You can sign up, uh, for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/garbage. All lowercase, by the way. Go to Shopify.com/garbage to upgrade your selling today. One more time, get a pen, get a pencil, upgrade your, listen, if they get, they're, they're, they're the biggest seller, there's a closing deals all over the place. Get in with Shopify. Shopify.com/garbage. Do it.
20:08 Speaker 01 Uh, all right, let's see here. Let's get into it. Uh, this one's from Big Tony. This is more of a story. One time, six buddies and I went to Applebee's for the dollar drinks. Back in, back in 2018, we got there at 9:00 PM and found out after we were seated, the promotion was from 10 till 2. Is it garbage to sit there for an hour and not order anything? Well, just do the water till 10. Thank you very much. That I respect, I mean.
20:33 H. Foley? I respect it.
20:34 Speaker 01 We...
20:35 H. Foley? At that point, you just gave it to him. Hey, what are you doing? Cut me off at 11.
20:40 Speaker 01 It's probably not in the system.
20:41 H. Foley? I'm not gonna make it till 10:30 anyway.
20:42 Speaker 01 I'll be carrying me out of here. I remember one time on the road with a comic that I didn't know. He's like, "Let's stop at Applebee's." I said, "All right." We were like, you know, whatever. And they were like, "Are you here for dollaritas?" And I said, "I wasn't, but I'll fucking..." This guy's driving. I had two, he had three.
20:57 H. Foley? That's funny. Those things are quiet assassins.
21:00 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
21:00 H. Foley? You get up to go to the bathroom.
21:02 Speaker 01 Your cross is...
21:02 H. Foley? Stumbling backwards.
21:04 Speaker 01 You're in the girls' room. Wait, your dress over your head.
21:09 H. Foley? Crying.
21:10 Speaker 01 Uh... This one too, I don't know about you, but for us, so as a kid, we went to these, like, you know, went to these chain restaurants a lot. And then as an older kid, high school, when you had a little bit of freedom, we all had like a day, not a day job, we all had job, like, you know, some sort of after school or weekend job.
21:28 H. Foley? Yeah.
21:28 Speaker 01 So we would make like 150 bucks a week or whatever like that. So you had a little bit of cash, a little bit of spending cash. And we would, we started going back to Applebee's in high school as like seniors a little bit. And that was our... To have like a waiter.
21:44 H. Foley? Yeah.
21:45 Speaker 01 Is, and high school, for a, for a high school dirtbag is like, you know, meanwhile, as a kid, we went to school with.
21:51 H. Foley? Yeah, and I look, I look back, we, Denny's was our place for that. In high school and college, and I look back thinking, "Man, that poor fucking server."
22:00 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
22:01 H. Foley? Fucking sucked.
22:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:03 H. Foley? Couple of fuckers, I've had that, waiting to take a couple of rats. Just in there fucking, ugh.
22:09 Speaker 01 In there too long. No one could do the math.
22:12 H. Foley? Fucking up the sugar caddies.
22:13 Speaker 01 No one can do the math for 20%.
22:15 H. Foley? Yeah, getting ripped off.
22:16 Speaker 01 Uh-huh. I know, it's, and we would go, and then I think even a little bit afterwards, like somebody start, or maybe we were like with an older kid, a kid who was a little bit older. ID, so like one kid would be getting, he had a fake ID, so he'd be ordering a beer. Meanwhile, I hadn't hit puberty yet. I'm like, "Dude, this is crazy that this 22-year-old's hanging out with this fucking kid who's 14." You know what I mean? Uh, but that was a big thing.
22:38 H. Foley? Across state lines.
22:40 Speaker 01 That was like another big thing. So this is, this is from Ace the Homie. "We used to go to Applebee's for weeknight karaoke in high school. They were doing stuff."
22:48 H. Foley? I mean, that's crazy.
22:49 Speaker 01 We'd order like one appetizer each and watch my friend, it's, watch my friend sing Enrique Iglesias' Hero. He put on a hell of a show for the whole place. I mean, in a more small town, that is the entertainment, like that's what I'm saying. That's where you're going.
23:05 H. Foley? High school, that's not, that's nerd shit right there.
23:08 Speaker 01 I don't know.
23:09 H. Foley? Go to, get, get in the garage, get some beers.
23:11 Speaker 01 I could be a hero, baby. I could do that every night. People's parents are home. You gotta go fuck it. I gotta go get some trim at the Applebee's.
23:18 H. Foley? Man, karaoke at an Applebee's.
23:19 Speaker 01 You did comedy at an Applebee's?
23:21 H. Foley? I did on New Year's Eve in Philadelphia.
23:24 Speaker 01 I was so jealous I wasn't on that show.
23:25 H. Foley? Really?
23:26 Speaker 01 It was you, Tommy Pope, me and Fi Dance, Chris Cotton.
23:29 H. Foley? Yeah.
23:30 Speaker 01 And I said, "You really, you, well, you get a big gig like this? You don't like get me wet his beak?"
23:34 H. Foley? Yeah, I remember that. That, that flyer's still floating around out there.
23:37 Speaker 01 Oh, I know. It's, I have it hanging on my wall with a big X through your face.
23:43 Speaker 01 Laces out, Foley.
23:47 H. Foley? Yeah, they really, they really started expanding those things and trying to do more of that stuff.
23:53 Speaker 01 They tried to be like neighborhood bars.
23:54 H. Foley? But it's funny, when that all collapsed and like you'd be in there eating with your family and you go to the, where's the bathroom? Oh, it's upstairs. And you get upstairs to like a banquet hall and you'd be like, "What the fuck is this?" Tables are all flipped over. There's mop buckets everywhere. That shit got shut down real quick.
24:09 Speaker 01 Uh huh. Uh, all right. This one's from another generation of garbage. "When I was 17, my mom and I went to Red Robin Great Burgers. A girl I went to school with said one of the other servers thought I was cute. The girl gave me her number the next day, like the, her, the girl he went to school with gave the coworker's number to him the next day at school. When I went to hang out with her, she turned out to be 35 and had her own apartment. She wasn't bad looking and had a great body. She was 35 at working at Red Robin. That night, I received my first BJ. Red Robin will always have a special place in my heart. Even 32 years later, I miss her and think of her often. What a gal."
24:53 Speaker 01 Awesome. So many-
24:55 H. Foley? Let alone the unlimited basket of fries.
24:57 Speaker 01 So many things have broken down in that night. The kid's there with his mom. A 35-year-old woman sees a high school kid there with his mom, goes, "That kid's got it going on." Tells another 8, 7, 18, 18-year-old girl, "Hey, give it my number." They hang out.
25:13 H. Foley? Catches a hummy.
25:14 Speaker 01 Catches a fucking-
25:15 H. Foley? A blowie, as Yanni Pappas would say.
25:17 Speaker 01 How wild is that?
25:18 H. Foley? Whoa.
25:18 Speaker 01 That's what- It goes back to the supermarket. These places in suburban or rural areas are the, like- A lot of people's like, first what at, first jobs, first crushes, first date, like- Are, are, these are like, you know, the, the hubs of certain, certain things.
25:33 H. Foley? That guy will never be able to drive by a Red Robin.
25:35 Speaker 01 Without thinking of catching a hu- dude, imagine being 18? Hopefully he's 18. Catching a, catching a hummy?
25:41 H. Foley? 35 with her own apartment?
25:43 Speaker 01 Dude, a 35-year-old Red Robin waitress. That is a specific kind of brilliant. This is, it's gotta be in the 90s too. 32 years later, what's 32 years from now? It's gotta be-
25:55 Speaker 01 This is like 95? Dude, whoa, that's-
25:58 H. Foley? Talking about playing it fast and loose.
26:01 Speaker 01 That girl is alright. I'll talk to him, teardrop butt.
26:07 H. Foley? I wonder what she was driving? A Mitsubishi something.
26:11 Speaker 01 It was something without a hubcap.
26:12 H. Foley? RAV4, Mitsubishi. Yeah. Man.
26:17 Speaker 01 Probably stick too. That was, that was, that was a manual transmission.
26:20 H. Foley? Man, a girl that drove stick back then? What, are you in the army?
26:25 Speaker 01 Got a, got a heater hanging out of the-
26:29 H. Foley? Don't be a pussy. My husband won't be home for another hour. I don't know, lady.
26:33 Speaker 01 There's a car seat in the back.
26:34 H. Foley? There's definitely some takeout back there too. The waitress taking her dinner home from work.
26:41 Speaker 01 Oh, man. Alright, this one's from Thick Bones Jones. $5 Modelo, never had one red. "Family rarely went out to eat since there was five of us."
26:51 H. Foley? Yeah.
26:51 Speaker 01 "One night, we went to Chili's. Everything was going great. The cokes were flowing, the chips and salsa was banging. I got the chicken crispers, how you doing?"
27:02 Speaker 01 And asked for extra ranch. They brought out a gravy boat of ranch. I proceeded to eat the whole boat and then puked everything up in the parking lot. Dot, dot, dot, I used to puke most times going out to eat. Puked all over the table at a Red Lobster when I was seven. Why the fuck they giving lobster to a kid? My mom, my mom took me to a Walmart to get a shirt. My dad finished the meal. That, I mean, come on, dude. That's fucking crazy. You would be surprised at the amount of submissions where kids threw up at chain restaurants.
27:34 H. Foley? I was never a puker. I wasn't a puker.
27:37 Speaker 01 I wa- I mean, I was-
27:39 H. Foley? Overeat puker?
27:40 Speaker 01 Nah, I was a drinking puker, for sure.
27:42 H. Foley? Sure.
27:43 Speaker 01 Um, but I mean, one out of every four was, and then I threw up in the parking lot. Then I threw up on the table. Then I threw up, it was crazy.
27:51 H. Foley? Yeah. They get all excited. They start wolfing down that marinara sauce.
27:55 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
27:56 H. Foley? Next thing you know, they're yakking.
27:58 Speaker 01 All hopped up.
27:59 H. Foley? Yeah.
28:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, uh, that's it, dude. I mean, so many, there's just, so many people have so many memories of just, that was it. Like, we didn't go out, then we went out and it went bad.
28:13 H. Foley? The first, the, the, one of the only times as a family, and like, when we'd go out to eat as a family, it would be my family, my cousin's family, the other cousins, everybody would go out. We'd have like a table of 15. And I remember going to a Red Lobster for the first time. I thought that was like the White House.
28:29 Speaker 01 I still don't think I've ever been to a Red Lobster.
28:31 H. Foley? And I remember when we got it, being like, this fucking stinks.
28:34 Speaker 01 Really?
28:35 H. Foley? Oh, yeah.
28:36 Speaker 01 Really?
28:37 H. Foley? My dad does Lobsters at the house better than this. They all dry and shit.
28:41 Speaker 01 Uh, we had a family reunion at a Friday's. This just hit me. I wouldn't say reunion, but part of my dad's family, one of the, one of the brothers moved out to Hawaii or California or something. I had never, I had never seen him. I'm about eight. I don't know him.
28:57 H. Foley? Somebody moving from your family to Hawaii. Man, the rumors going around.
29:01 Speaker 01 Or maybe the kid, or maybe he married a lady from Hawaii and they were living in California? Either way, the kid-
29:10 H. Foley? Wait, did I meet this guy? Was this guy at the park show? This family? Is that a possibility?
29:17 Speaker 01 I don't know.
29:18 H. Foley? Because I talked to a family at the park show, you, that are around your age, that live out there.
29:24 Speaker 01 No.
29:25 H. Foley? No?
29:25 Speaker 01 They shouldn't have been. No, I didn't know that guy you were talking to.
29:29 H. Foley? Oh, really?
29:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that. I'd never seen that guy in my life. He was like a friend of a friend of a brother's friend.
29:35 H. Foley? Fucking went in on a timeshare with this guy.
29:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, I remember you going, "Yeah, we go down to Connyo, hey, man, I get the little..." I'm like, "Dude, I'll see you later. I don't fucking know this guy." I gotta work a room here.
29:44 H. Foley? Good people.
29:45 Speaker 01 Um...
29:48 Speaker 01 What, uh... So, I met my cousins for the first time and they were part Hawaiian, because the mom was Hawaiian. And I, dude, you tell eight, little eight-year-old Kevin, "I'm at a TGI Fridays," and they're going, "These kids are your cousins." I said, "Yeah, I ain't never met these fucking kids in my life." I remember they got entree. They got like adult entrees, and I was ordering the chicken tenders. Yeah, Fridays, you know, and they were like, "I'll do like the sea bass or whatever." And I was like, "Jeez, where... What planet are you kids from?"
30:18 H. Foley? We weren't allowed to order entrees like that. You get a hamburger. That's hamburger and fried. Nothing that came with a super is salad, I can tell you that.
30:25 Speaker 01 I remember when it was like, we weren't allowed to do the platter, the chicken finger platter. Sometimes you'd have to do the appetizer, the chicken finger basket, which didn't come with fries typically, and sometimes the platter deluxe.
30:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, I used to know my, dude, you can show me a menu from 50 feet away, I could tell you where the chicken tenders were falling on it.
30:45 H. Foley? Yeah.
30:45 Speaker 01 If it was a kid's menu, if it was like there was a platter portion.
30:48 H. Foley? Usually went like fourth in the appetizer.
30:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'll do the chicken tend... Sometimes I would just be, you know, coloring and look up. I wouldn't even look at the menu. And I went to Applebee's, I didn't need to look at the menu. But you still got the... You know why I'm here. Bring out the money maker.
31:06 H. Foley? Give me the usual. Start heating up that brownie, too.
31:10 Speaker 01 Couple extra toothpicks for my stepdad here.
31:12 H. Foley? Ah, man, that's alright.
31:14 Speaker 01 Um, alright, this one's from Jackie Treehorn. Great name. "One of my dad's best friends got robbed by two ladies of the night he met at a TGI Fridays bar on a work trip. He took them up to his hotel room, they tied him up at knife point and tried to take his wallet. Choke's on them, he was hammered and left his wallet at the bar.
31:38 Speaker 01 He proudly told this story to my dad in front of me at a different TGI Fridays a few months later."
31:47 Speaker 01 Never return to the scene of the crime.
31:49 H. Foley? Man, if you're working the TGI Fridays.
31:52 Speaker 01 Again, this is, dude, I remember doing a show in like upstate Pennsylvania at a Ramada and that bar was like...
32:00 H. Foley? The bar.
32:00 Speaker 01 That was the bar. And I was sitting there waiting to go on and bam. And uh, there was like people hanging out and a couple of, you know, night crawlers.
32:10 H. Foley? Ladies.
32:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, and I'm like, she ain't, you know.
32:13 H. Foley? You on the show too?
32:15 Speaker 01 How long you been doing comedy? I'm three years in. I'm the host. I got moved down from feature.
32:23 H. Foley? Man, that's a tale right there.
32:24 Speaker 01 That's all, I mean, it's just so, that's, listen, you're an older guy, you know, middle aged guy, you're on a business trip. It's not like you're in, you're not in downtown Philadelphia, midtown Manhattan.
32:38 H. Foley? Look who you're talking to.
32:39 Speaker 01 You're going to, you're going to a TGI Friedy's.
32:42 H. Foley? Sure.
32:43 Speaker 01 Getting fucked, getting worked over. Dude, joke's on them being so fucked up. You left, you left your wallet at the bar.
32:49 H. Foley? He's just tied up laughing.
32:52 Speaker 01 They got, still got to see your titties.
32:55 Speaker 01 Uh, man, alright, let's see here. Um, this is from Abbeville. I was a server at Applebee's in Westchester, Pennsylvania, when the Eagles won in 2018. The main host of the place was a diehard Eagles fan, called out for the parade and never came back. Go Birds. That's the best day that guy's life. He probably died. Like, ran over by a horse or something.
33:21 H. Foley? It was always great when somebody made it out. Hey, he's not coming back.
33:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's a great, that's how you quit those jobs. When you're off a day you're not supposed to be off. Those jobs, a retail job, a shitty office job, a, you know, a chain restaurant, a shitty restaurant, this, you're getting that cycle of like, ah, I worked these days and these nights and these days. And the second you crack that, and you have like a three day weekend, you go, what the fuck am I going back to this? You got a little bit of sunshine in your face, you touch a little grass.
33:52 H. Foley? I was big on uh, getting my last paycheck. I'm gonna go in, get my paycheck and either not gonna show up for brunch the next day, or tell them, hey, by the way, I'm done. I'm out. Go Birds. They're losing.
34:06 Speaker 01 Applebee's sucks.
34:08 Speaker 01 Uh, we've talked about this before, but Waiting has hit that cul- the, the movie Waiting.
34:13 H. Foley? Oh.
34:14 Speaker 01 Hit that culture.
34:15 H. Foley? Perfectly.
34:16 Speaker 01 Nail on the head, out of the fucking park. It's like you know every- if you grew up with a relatively dirtbag background, not even that dirt, you know every single person of, in that movie.
34:26 H. Foley? Mm-hmm.
34:27 Speaker 01 Uh, alright, this one's, uh, from, uh, Brandonio. "I worked at an Outback Steakhouse for seven plus years throughout high school and college. One time I was high on Molly and reversed my car into the building by the takeout room. Destroyed the back of my car. To this day, there's still an indent in the building and pieces of my taillight embedded in there."
34:53 Speaker 01 I love how you're like, "Ah, pretty good gig. I'm on Molly all shift." That's pretty, um...
35:01 Speaker 01 That's great. I mean, Luke, can you find out what, who's got the best, go to, go to their web, go to every, not every, go to the, give me Outback, give me Applebee's.
35:11 Speaker 03 I got the top five.
35:12 Speaker 01 Top five what?
35:14 Speaker 03 So, we're starting out, we got Buffalo Wild Wings, they do about four billion, Chili's, four billion, Applebee's, Texas Roadhouse, Olive Garden.
35:21 H. Foley? Four billion dollars a year in revenue? And fuck, what's the first one, Buffalo Wild Wings?
35:26 Speaker 03 Buffalo Wild Wings is the lowest.
35:28 H. Foley? I don't count that shit.
35:29 Speaker 01 Why?
35:30 H. Foley? Yeah, that's, that's not, that's not, that's not eating good in the neighborhood, that's not family.
35:35 Speaker 01 I might have to push, I see what you're saying, but-
35:37 H. Foley? I've never been to one.
35:38 Speaker 01 You've never been to one? And they, they, they weren't, they came online when you were, like, they, I've, they opened up in, like, 2014. Like, I was already broke. Like, I couldn't go to a Buffalo Wild Wings, you know what I mean?
35:53 H. Foley? Yeah, I was, uh, yeah. I take that back.
35:57 Speaker 01 I would've loved, that's like a, that's like a Chickies and Pete's.
36:01 H. Foley? Yeah, I don't think I've ever been with actual Chickie and Pete's. Just at the stadiums. Crab fries, right?
36:06 Speaker 01 That don't count.
36:07 Speaker 03 So what do you want me to find?
36:08 Speaker 01 Find, go to their homepages and find out who's got what specials are currently, you know what I mean?
36:14 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:14 Speaker 01 It should be like in the banner, like, hey, we got two for two days.
36:17 H. Foley? Oh, yeah.
36:17 Speaker 01 Give me an out, give me an Outback, give me an Applebee's.
36:20 H. Foley? I can't believe four billion, four billion.
36:23 Speaker 01 Go, just go to the top five on that list you had.
36:26 H. Foley? That's a lot of cash.
36:27 Speaker 01 A lot of tendies.
36:29 H. Foley? Four billion dollars they're doing.
36:30 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
36:31 H. Foley? Chili's, four billion. Damn. Somebody's still eating there.
36:35 Speaker 01 I, a lot, yeah, a lot of fucking people.
36:38 H. Foley? I think they dipped and came back. Right?
36:40 Speaker 01 I think they did too, yeah. I mean, they got the fucking, uh...
36:43 H. Foley? Cause I remember they were in the, they were all in the toilet for all, when they, when they started doing the curbside shit.
36:50 Speaker 01 That was insane to me.
36:51 H. Foley? Yeah.
36:51 Speaker 01 I remember, I used to go to the one in Newtown, it was like...
36:54 H. Foley? How am I gonna get fucking free refills, huh? How am I, what, I gotta fucking drive back?
36:59 Speaker 01 I was here yesterday. A little top, top.
37:01 H. Foley? They go over the top with the packaging, too.
37:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:05 H. Foley? It's nuts. It's like space age shit.
37:07 Speaker 01 It's just, to me, that food is such... Being there. Like, like I want, I can get tenders from anywhere.
37:16 H. Foley? I got tenders, I got tender guy.
37:20 Speaker 01 My thing is like, that's part of the experience. You go there, you sit, you break balls, you have a dollerita, someone gets too fucked up, whatever, whatever.
37:28 H. Foley? Parents are smoking.
37:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's part of it. The getting, the food's mediocre. I mean, if I'm getting, you know, food's fine at best, you know?
37:39 H. Foley? Were you a booth family?
37:40 Speaker 01 Always, always a booth. Uh...
37:43 H. Foley? I'd add like the table.
37:46 Speaker 01 Did they, I'm trying to think, did they have smoking?
37:49 H. Foley? Yeah, for sure. When I was a kid, for sure.
37:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, so with the one on Tree Road, you'd go in and to the left was the smoking section.
37:56 H. Foley? Like at the bar.
37:56 Speaker 01 Cause now that I'm thinking, I've never been on the right side of...
37:59 H. Foley? Yeah, the bar area was smoking. Ripping heaters at the bar.
38:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I think even the, there was like an elevated platform on the left of the bar.
38:06 H. Foley? Yeah, yeah, yeah, there was like the high tops and shit.
38:08 Speaker 01 No, no, no, no, no, like a...
38:11 Speaker 01 Mine where you'd walk in, it was like the Thunderdome a little bit. You'd walk in and the bar was right in front of ya. And then everything else was like two or three steps up around that.
38:19 H. Foley? I think those play, that's the first time I saw the bar that went all the way around.
38:23 Speaker 01 The octagon bar. Woo, two men enter, one man leaves.
38:26 H. Foley? Kim, let's talk about Aura Frames.
38:27 Speaker 01 Shout out Aura Frames.
38:29 H. Foley? Again, and a homerun Aura Frames. What are you thinking about getting your mom for Mother's Day this year? I know it's a little far away.
38:35 Speaker 01 She's getting her third Aura Frame that she can put in the powder room if she needs it, because that's the best damn product out there.
38:39 H. Foley? Listen, if your mom, if your wife, if your aunt, if your uncle.
38:43 Speaker 01 Mother-in-law.
38:44 H. Foley? Anybody, grandparents, grandpa, everybody loves it, man. Do yourself a favor. Aura Frames, digital, upload, boom. What are the kids doing? Johnny's got a basketball game. Oh, how's Johnny doing? What are you gonna do? You're gonna send the pics? They upload right to the frame, man. You keep it coming, keeps them happy, shuts them up. Do yourself a favor if you want the easiest gift to get your mother this Mother's Day, or if somebody's got a birthday coming up, it's gonna be an Aura Frame. You're gonna look like a goddamn hero.
39:11 Speaker 01 And I said it before, getting an Aura Frame for these people means you ain't gotta see them as much as you gotta see them, because they think you're saying, they think they're having dinner with you, because you're over there, you're on the nightstand.
39:20 H. Foley? Talk to the frame.
39:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, buddy, I'm busy, but the frame's available for dinner. You know what I mean? Right now, you can save on the perfect gift that keeps on giving by visiting AuraFrames.com for a limited time. Our listeners can get $20 off their best-selling Carver Matte Frame with code GARBAGE. That's Aura, A-U-R-A, Frames.com, promo code GARBAGE. Don't forget to mention that the boy sent ya, so you know, so you, sent you to support for the show. I just had a stroke. Terms and conditions apply. Let them know the boy sent you $20 off, code GARBAGE, do it.
39:50 H. Foley? Yeah. Kim, let's talk about Truework.
39:52 Speaker 01 Shout out to Truework.
39:54 H. Foley? Gang, if you don't know Truework, Truework has hell been on creating the most technical high-performance workwear in the world. The Truework story begins in the Colorado Mountains, where a trade worker knew that there had to be a better solution than wet, heavy gear that was weighing him down. And that is where Truework was born. Do yourself a favor, if you're an outdoor guy, if you're a working man, Truework is your answer.
40:18 Speaker 01 Yeah. They were kind enough to send us. Some stuff and it's tight gear. You get it?
40:22 H. Foley? Top quality.
40:23 Speaker 01 You feel cool. Listen, I'm not a, I'm not a blue collar guy no more. I hung up my work boots.
40:26 H. Foley? Feel like a real man putting those things on.
40:28 Speaker 01 But I go to the deli and everybody thinks I'm a project manager on a, on a high rise being built.
40:34 H. Foley? Goddamn GC over here.
40:35 Speaker 01 No, no joke. I was stuck in traffic. It was pouring the other day and I watched this construction worker just soggy, just walking and he got in a truck. I was like-
40:42 H. Foley? Should've got, should've yelled out, "True work!"
40:44 Speaker 01 Promoco garbage.
40:45 H. Foley? Sure.
40:46 Speaker 01 Uh, it's soft, stretchy, sweat, sweat wicking, soft shell work pants are an major upgrade for overall wet, heavy jeans, windproof, waterproof, the whole nine yards are taking care of you. Truework has over 50,000 five star reviews and countless stories from trade pros in every state and every job across the country. Uh, so check out their full lineup and get 15% off your first order at truewerk.com/garbage. That's 15% off at truework, T R U E W E R K dot com slash garbage dot. Speaking of the bar, this one I've never thought of, and this is fantastic. This is from Roy Munson. Is it garbage or use your Red Robin gift card at the bar? Gift card money spends the same, baby. So in my head-
41:25 H. Foley? Drink.
41:26 Speaker 01 Yeah. In my head, if someone went, "Here's a $50 gift card to Chili's," I'd have to go sit down and eat dinner. In my, I'd never thought I could just go to the bar and get 50 bucks worth of booze with me and the boys.
41:38 H. Foley? Can you do that?
41:39 Speaker 01 That's what he's saying. Spends like money.
41:41 H. Foley? I thought they'd trip you up on shit like that. Nah, it's gotta be at a table and-
41:45 Speaker 01 Ah, I mean, even if it's a ta-
41:47 H. Foley? That's all I got.
41:47 Speaker 01 Even if it's a table.
41:48 H. Foley? Hooker took my wallet.
41:50 Speaker 01 This is what you're getting. I mean, even if it's at a table, you go, "Hey, drop the chips and salsa and keep the fucking Michelob's flowing," you know?
41:57 H. Foley? Man, if you caught that when they were doing one of those dollar drink specials?
41:59 Speaker 01 You'd be fucking, fucking ossified. They'd have to pull you out of there.
42:05 H. Foley? Plus the molly?
42:06 Speaker 01 Uh huh. Uh.
42:10 Speaker 01 Um, this one's from Reggie. This is a deep cup, deep, deep cut on a couple of things. Hey, gang, never had one red. Is it garbage if you sold enough magazine subscriptions during the magazine drive in seventh grade that the school got a limo to take you and a bunch of other kids to TGI Fridays for lunch one day? Couldn't tell me shit on that day.
42:30 H. Foley? This is fucking Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross?
42:31 Speaker 01 That's crazy. That, that was always a, a myth. If you sold whatever, you'd get a limo ride to Pizza Hut or whatever.
42:39 H. Foley? I'd never heard that in my life.
42:41 Speaker 01 Uh, you know, I, that was always a myth to me.
42:43 H. Foley? What, selling what? Magazines?
42:44 Speaker 01 Yeah. So it would be like a drive of some sort.
42:46 H. Foley? We did candy around Easter.
42:49 Speaker 01 Okay, same thing.
42:50 H. Foley? Uh huh.
42:50 Speaker 01 If you sold enough candy, the, the theory would always be like, oh, the school three towns away sends you the top guy in a limo. And I ain't never, I never seen it, but this kid fucking did it.
43:01 H. Foley? Hitting the fucking pavement.
43:03 Speaker 01 This kid's like blank check over here.
43:04 H. Foley? That's crazy.
43:06 Speaker 01 That's awesome, man. Anything on a school day.
43:10 H. Foley? Forget it.
43:11 Speaker 01 It was, you know.
43:12 H. Foley? That's where I went to Chi Chi's for fucking, uh, Spanish class. Loaded up the bus, went over there.
43:17 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
43:17 H. Foley? It was fantastic.
43:18 Speaker 01 We went to Marita's Cantina. I remember we always used to, whenever I was sick, I'd always make my mom stop and get Burger King, which like seems counterproductive now that I'm an adult. I'd leave the doctor's office and go get Burger King.
43:31 H. Foley? When you were sick? Or if you were like getting a physical?
43:34 Speaker 01 I forget. I'd be going home. And we would get Burger King, I'd eat it in the car ride home, then she'd go back to work and I'd be-
43:41 H. Foley? Trying to drag my feet on that shit.
43:43 Speaker 01 I'd be at the crib snoozing probably, or tug him out a little rootski.
43:50 Speaker 01 Uh, what do you got, Lucas?
43:52 Speaker 03 The deals are all like, uh, two for blank deals now, except Texas Roadhouse. They have the, uh-
44:00 H. Foley? Texas Roadhouse. Fantastic.
44:02 Speaker 03 Yeah, they got the Monday Margarita. Texas T-Bone Tuesday. Wild West Wednesday.
44:08 Speaker 01 What's the Monday Margarita? What's that banging?
44:09 Speaker 03 Discounted margaritas.
44:10 Speaker 01 Discounted vaged.
44:11 H. Foley? And let me tell you something, those things are strong as shit and you get, you can't eat it, it's all sugar. They're the, I had a pomegranate one when we went out. Holy shit. Three of those and I didn't know who I was. Talking about singing show tunes. Good night.
44:28 Speaker 01 Okay.
44:29 Speaker 03 And then you got, I mean, Applebee's has double the deal, double the fun, meal deal for two.
44:33 Speaker 01 They're just making shit up at this point. Hey, give us 20 bucks, we'll give you a shit ton of food, is what it's- Double the food, double-
44:39 H. Foley? Double the deal, double the fun.
44:41 Speaker 01 Hey, what do you got? It's, it seems very used car salesman-y.
44:44 H. Foley? Yeah.
44:45 Speaker 01 It's just a guy out front doing this?
44:46 Speaker 03 Chili's three for one.
44:48 H. Foley? What's three for one?
44:49 Speaker 01 Three for one apps?
44:50 Speaker 03 So you get an app, an entree and a drink.
44:52 H. Foley? Ah, okay.
44:53 Speaker 01 For one?
44:54 Speaker 03 For the price of one. I think it's about 22 dollars, something like that.
44:58 H. Foley? That's not bad. That's not bad. Plus, it's somebody's birthday.
45:04 Speaker 03 They all have the birthday deal. That's big.
45:06 Speaker 01 It's free. You get, you get half, you get a free app or something.
45:09 Speaker 03 Some way. They all, they all a little different. Some people are gonna get a free something.
45:14 H. Foley? Every Veterans Day, my parents would go to lunch at either Applebee's or TGI Friday's, whichever one did that.
45:20 Speaker 01 Your mom's dressed like Sergeant Slaughter.
45:25 H. Foley? She's got the gun belt.
45:32 H. Foley? Yeah, they'd go like, for lunch. Couldn't imagine what that place looked like.
45:39 Speaker 03 If you order online at Olive Garden, you can do a $6 take-home entree.
45:43 H. Foley? Yeah, they like, they got the apps and the online shit. Fuck that.
45:46 Speaker 01 When I was doing DoorDash, I remember delivering a guy Applebee's in a rough apartment, like, real rough. And it was like, so much.
45:55 H. Foley? What are you celebrating?
45:59 Speaker 01 Looking out the window. He was laying low for sure, this guy. This is in a, this is in a rough strip of apartments. And I remember, uh, there was like, so much Applebee's, like, over a hundred dollars worth of Applebee's, and this is in like, Bumblefuck Jersey.
46:16 H. Foley? Yeah, that's hiding out.
46:17 Speaker 01 And I remember being like, "Why are you staying here? And if you got a hundred and twenty bucks to spend at Applebee's, you're class to join up, go, go, go get a room at the Hilton or something." You got the cash, you know what I mean? I remember having to call him, he's like, "Nah, keep going," and I was like,
46:38 H. Foley? "Take the keys."
46:39 Speaker 01 "Make sure I left the Montego running." Uh, god. Um,
46:47 Speaker 01 this one's pretty good. Uh, this is from, uh, Arous Lou. Uh, "I've, I've been going to Applebee's at least once a month for 12 years with two friends. Great tradition."
46:58 H. Foley? Love that.
46:58 Speaker 01 "We have only ever paid for half-priced apps, never had an entree." I respect that.
47:05 H. Foley? Yeah.
47:05 Speaker 01 That's like, uh...
47:08 Speaker 01 That's a good hang with the boys.
47:10 H. Foley? Of course.
47:11 Speaker 01 We're gonna go, we're each gonna have two or three drinks. Maybe every third month, someone you get fucking, you're like, you know what? My wife's out of town getting fucking shit housed.
47:19 H. Foley? Crippled.
47:20 Speaker 01 Yeah. And just keep the half-priced app. This goes back to my, I don't need an entree. Post me up at a high top, two of my boys. Gimme flip, pat. And just let them. Who?
47:33 H. Foley? Ahem.
47:34 Speaker 01 You don't, it's well documented, you don't like a high top.
47:36 H. Foley? Hey, can't get a goddamn table.
47:40 H. Foley? I like dollar margaritas.
47:41 Speaker 01 You're off restaurants.
47:43 H. Foley? I'm off restaurants.
47:43 Speaker 01 Uh, I would have you, but you're off restaurants.
47:46 H. Foley? Fair enough. I'd make an exception for a Friday's half-price appetizer.
47:50 Speaker 01 So it got us in this trouble to begin with. Uh, and just post up for like three or four and just, you know, get the.
47:58 H. Foley? Nice snowy day.
48:00 Speaker 01 Man, step out for a heater, come, I'm off the heaters, but step out for a heater.
48:04 H. Foley? That's where you step out for a heater. When you're in there drinking, step out for a heater.
48:08 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
48:08 H. Foley? Before the apps get there. Feel the cold.
48:11 Speaker 01 Well, that's a bar, that's like, that's what's so unique about those. The middle of those establishments is a bar. There's hookers, you're hitting on people, like, but then there's like a kid celebrating his birthday five feet away, you know? They got the touch tunes, like.
48:25 H. Foley? Kid with no future.
48:27 Speaker 01 Hey, I turned out pretty good. Uh, this, this leads right into this, socks with sandals. Is it garbage to take your small children to Applebee's at night at 9:00 PM? I was definitely in an Applebee's on a school night.
48:39 H. Foley? Man.
48:40 Speaker 01 Past when I for sure should have been.
48:43 H. Foley? That's crazy.
48:44 Speaker 01 But that's, I mean, what's, what's the, dude, I've been seeing more and more young kid, like, uh, like couples with like a baby.
48:55 H. Foley? We saw that, uh, when we were at that diner.
48:58 Speaker 01 Where?
48:58 H. Foley? At the 24, the diner 24.
49:00 Speaker 01 That's what, that was, yeah, last week.
49:02 H. Foley? Yeah, they were like, they were getting like chopped, they were having like a date. I guess, you know, you're working, that's the only time you could see your wife, you got the kid.
49:10 Speaker 01 I was one, they weren't working, they were, they, no, no, not one of them was in a uniform. Like if one was in scrubs, I go, all right, you just got off third shift or whatever.
49:18 H. Foley? Yeah.
49:18 Speaker 01 I'll get a second shift, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
49:20 H. Foley? They had a baby.
49:20 Speaker 01 They had a baby.
49:23 Speaker 01 It was 1 o'clock in the morning on a fucking Wednesday.
49:25 H. Foley? Maybe you don't know, maybe she just woke up. Maybe the baby just got off work. Who knows?
49:29 Speaker 01 Yeah. I've just been seeing more and more of that. I'm like, god damn.
49:33 H. Foley? I remember being, when we were in Vegas for Skank Fest, walking down that Fremont and like, it'd be like 2 o'clock in the morning and there's like a 5-year-old with like, a yard in his hand. Just walking down next to his stroller. Like, what are we doing? I respect it.
49:49 Speaker 01 Sure.
49:49 H. Foley? Yeah.
49:50 Speaker 01 Uh, alright.
49:52 H. Foley? The little kids, sorry, the little kids in those situations. You know, my, you know, my, my dad was always a good judge of, alright, it's time to get out of here.
49:59 Speaker 01 With the kids?
50:00 H. Foley? Yeah.
50:01 Speaker 01 Yeah. I wish I could say the same. Um...
50:05 H. Foley? You're coming in as we're leaving?
50:07 Speaker 01 Where are you going? I got a stack of quarters.
50:09 H. Foley? I just got here! Dirtbag.
50:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, man, hanging at the bar of those joints was, uh, was alright. I mean, we would... I remember bumping into like, my brother's teacher or something and I think my dad was hitting on her. It was, it was...
50:27 H. Foley? It's 11:30 at night, Kevin.
50:28 Speaker 01 I remember them being like, "They're talking too much." Like, my dad don't like people. For him to be talking that much.
50:35 H. Foley? What was she doing in there?
50:36 Speaker 01 Fucking, probably throwing it at him.
50:39 H. Foley? Dying one on.
50:41 Speaker 01 I thought, I think she was, I thought she was a lesbian, but I'd still, I remember going, "They're talking way too inten-" I was like, "Yo, what are you doing here? What the fuck's going on?"
50:51 Speaker 03 Bear your teacher coverage.
50:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, there was a lot of times where it was just like, I remember one time we were at a Friday's or somewhere.
51:06 Speaker 01 It was far. We were, we were in northeast Philly. We were like down on the boulevard somewhere. And, uh, like, and my dad and my brother, we were hang- we were in the smoking, I remember this vividly. My dad and my brother got in an argument that my dad couldn't run home from where we were. Cause my dad used to be like a pretty good runner.
51:27 H. Foley? He was all drinking?
51:30 H. Foley? I'll be $20, you can't do 60 pushups right now.
51:34 Speaker 01 Or they were arguing, oh, I might, you know, I'm sure my dad had...
51:39 Speaker 01 A lot of cocktails, enough in them.
51:41 H. Foley? Say no more.
51:43 Speaker 01 And he's gonna, "I'll fucking run home right now." And I was like, dude, I must have been-
51:46 H. Foley? You gonna leave us here?
51:48 Speaker 01 I remember being like, "What are we just gonna drive real slow?" Forrest Gump had just come out? So I remember being like, "Are we just gonna drive real slow next to you the whole time?" It was raining too. And I think he said, "If it wasn't raining, I'd fucking do it." I'm like, "I'm like, one dude, you're fucking, you're at your 50th Marlboro Red of the day." "You got at least eight or nine Michelob's in ya and some fucking fettuccine Alfredo." But this is after dinner.
52:13 H. Foley? You'll be hurling at a quarter mile.
52:14 Speaker 01 Uh huh. And it was like, it had to be about 15 miles.
52:18 H. Foley? What?
52:19 Speaker 01 Oh no, it was like, not in the neighborhood. It was, it was, it was, like, right now, if you were like, "Hey, you gotta get in the car and drive", I'd be like, "Ah, we'll just go tomorrow." Like, it was that far. It was a 30 minute drive, maybe.
52:34 H. Foley? Jesus. That's bad.
52:36 Speaker 01 Getting in a bar argument with an eight-year-old? Woo!
52:42 H. Foley? Getting thrown out?
52:43 Speaker 01 Aw, man.
52:45 H. Foley? Aw, that's alright.
52:47 Speaker 01 Very of the, this is, this is from Desiree. "Is it garbage if I've been at a Chili's for dinner and you and your dad have to break up a father-son fight at the table next to you after the son smacked the shit out of the dad?"
52:59 H. Foley? That's where you get smacked, in there.
53:01 Speaker 01 A lot of smack I've ever heard. And that- He goes, "They were like, they were 30 and 60. I let my dad control the son and I took the old guy to calm down." That's a relationship, that's like, if I went and met, if I reached out to them, they were trying to rekindle. That's where you go. If I reached out to my dad now, I was like, "Yo, what are you doing? Let's go to, uh, meet at the Applebee's."
53:24 H. Foley? Meet at the Applebee's.
53:25 Speaker 01 And we're sitting there and then-
53:26 H. Foley? You're not meeting at a Cheesecake Factory.
53:27 Speaker 01 No. Ruin my chicken parm.
53:29 H. Foley? Splitting tuna nachos.
53:31 Speaker 01 Uh, that's what, then after, you know, probably when the entrees get dropped, you realize-
53:39 Speaker 01 Things are still the same.
53:40 H. Foley? You got a couple in ya?
53:41 Speaker 01 You got, yeah, one or two in ya.
53:42 H. Foley? Uh huh.
53:43 Speaker 01 He didn't change, you're still complaining about this and that.
53:45 H. Foley? Wish mom felt that way.
53:47 Speaker 01 What'd you say?
53:47 H. Foley? What'd you say? Yeah.
53:48 Speaker 01 Fucking whap, fucking crack. Imagine slapping a six year old dude at a Chili's?
53:54 H. Foley? But here's the thing, those kind of places, that's where people step in. You go to, you're at a nice fancy restaurant or whatever, those people aren't gonna get involved. When you're in the neighborhood, people are gonna stay. That's not right, don't be itting him.
54:07 Speaker 01 Put you in a sleeper hold real quick.
54:08 H. Foley? You ever see the one where the guy's with his wife and his kid? And he starts like screaming at her? Dude, there's like a mob, dudes are looking to be the hero in those spots.
54:18 Speaker 01 Sure. They're all fighting each other to get there.
54:20 H. Foley? Yeah, yeah. It's great.
54:22 Speaker 01 That makes sense.
54:24 H. Foley? That's where you find John Quinones.
54:26 Speaker 01 Who?
54:27 H. Foley? The guy from ABC News, What Would You Do?
54:29 Speaker 01 I just saw it. Hey, it's actually me, John Quinones or whatever. Buddy, no one knows who you are, get the fuck outta here. He steps in, he steps out like he's Wayne Newton, like everybody's gonna be falling all, nobody knows who the fuck you are.
54:41 H. Foley? I thought you were John Taffer.
54:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, it said bar rescue, kick rocks. Fuck you, go find me Chef Ramsay, he's not what I care about. I just saw.
54:49 H. Foley? Shut this place down.
54:50 Speaker 01 I just saw him do that in a bar, like somebody was saying something in a bar and he's like, hey, oh, easy pal, you're on, uh, I'm John Quinones, yeah, buddy. No, thank you. Ah, shit. Um, alright, this one's from Max, $10 long-term investor. In college, my homies and I would frequent the Tiger Perkins in Orlando. Purely based off the fact that's the exact location Tiger Woods slept with a Perkins server. That's.
55:18 H. Foley? Wait, hold on, so it's a Perkins, not Tiger Perkins?
55:21 Speaker 01 No, they called it Tiger Perkins. Yo, you wanna go to Tiger Perkins?
55:27 H. Foley? Yeah.
55:28 Speaker 01 I would do that, if that was the time when you're like.
55:32 H. Foley? He also had a Denny's hostess, didn't he?
55:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, it might have been Perkins.
55:36 Speaker 03 Perkins was the famous one.
55:37 Speaker 01 Perkins was.
55:38 Speaker 03 Where she dropped the tampon on, in the parking lot. That's how they found out.
55:44 Speaker 01 What?
55:44 Speaker 03 She, so there was like a journalist following Tiger Woods. And she dropped a tampon out the window. Tiger Woods did his thing. And then a journalist took it, picked it up, found it, and like, kept it for evidence.
55:58 Speaker 01 Oh, they were watching. Got out the Perkins, closing deals. All that money you're saving.
56:05 H. Foley? Perkins is alright.
56:07 Speaker 01 We were never a Perkins fam.
56:08 H. Foley? Hit a couple in our day.
56:10 Speaker 01 Sure you did.
56:10 H. Foley? Nothing wrong with it.
56:11 Speaker 01 Uh huh, little Perkadoodles.
56:14 H. Foley? More of a Hula Hands family.
56:16 Speaker 01 Shout out to Hula Hands. Uh, yeah, I recently did my Red Rob- my first Red Robins.
56:23 H. Foley? It's Red Robin. I don't think it's Red Robins.
56:27 Speaker 01 Really? Whatever.
56:28 H. Foley? Scumbag. Right? It's Red Robin.
56:32 Speaker 01 Did you ever do Cheeseburger Cheeseburger? That's why I didn't get eyes on that. I thought that was a chain.
56:38 H. Foley? That's a place in Chicago.
56:40 Speaker 01 Cheeseburger?
56:41 H. Foley? That's from the John Belushi sketch, Cheeseburger Cheeseburger.
56:44 Speaker 01 I know, but they pulled- well, Cheeseburger Cheeseburger, they opened up when I was into it. Did you ever, you know, you like missed something? Everybody at school was talking about, "Oh, we're at Cheeseburger Cheeseburger." And I'm like, dude, it sounds like you're talking a different fucking language. What happened at Cheeseburger Cheeseburger?
57:02 Speaker 03 Uh, founded in 1986.
57:04 H. Foley? Okay.
57:05 Speaker 01 Uh... Oh, there's only two US locations anymore. Sanibel Island, Florida, and Richmond International Airport. Jesus Christ, dude.
57:15 H. Foley? That's all over the map.
57:16 Speaker 01 They proudly serve Pepsi products. But there was one in Oxford Valley that like, I mean, this place, it came in like fucking, uh... Like the Beatles, dude. Everybody was talking Cheeseburger Cheeseburger. You gotta go to Cheeseburger Cheeseburger.
57:32 H. Foley? That was PF Chang's at the Plymouth Meeting Mall when they started putting them in the parking lot.
57:36 Speaker 01 Same for us.
57:36 H. Foley? Let's go. Everybody. Might as well be in Studio 54.
57:41 Speaker 01 Well, I do respect the more heightened versions of, like we said, the Applebee's and Friday's, you know, Storm the Beaches, so these Cheesecake Factories, the PF Chang's.
57:53 H. Foley? Bonefish Grill.
57:54 Speaker 01 The Bonefish Grill, the Seasons 52's, or like...
57:57 H. Foley? Harry's? Wasn't there a Harry's?
57:59 Speaker 01 There's a Houston's or something too. Well, I just went to, uh, we're buying a bunch of baby stuff, so we're at all these friggin' malls. I went to two different malls, and I gotta tell you, you pull in and it's just Rosa Knight, like, nice casual corporate restaurants. You go, this is fucking, I can get down with this. Let's go look at some strollers, which ain't cheap by the way.
58:20 H. Foley? Go get a table.
58:20 Speaker 01 Go get a table. Get a nice fucking baseball steak. Maybe a couple of pot sticks. I love an app.
58:27 H. Foley? Pot stickers are on everybody's menu now.
58:30 Speaker 01 If they ain't, you fucking get with the times, you know what I mean, Daddy-O? Oh god, that's alright. Um, alright, this one's from Kippy's jar of Skippy, $10 homie here. Say you're at a Chili's.
58:42 H. Foley? Okay.
58:43 Speaker 01 This is how he opens up. Say you're at a Chili's and the table next to you leaves,
58:49 Speaker 01 and there is a half pitcher of beer still on the table. How garbage is it to refill your glass from that pitcher?
58:56 H. Foley? Very.
58:58 Speaker 01 Very garbage, for sure. And I'm not a guy to do, I don't like other people's stuff. I would be remiss if I would say there wasn't a time when I was at...
59:10 H. Foley? As a college kid, yeah, sure.
59:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, the Rich Barrel Pub or something.
59:14 H. Foley? If you're with your family, your uncle gets up.
59:16 Speaker 01 Also, what kind of fucking animals are leaving half pitchers of beer? That's two beers, how many people are at that table?
59:21 H. Foley? Yeah, it's crazy.
59:22 Speaker 01 You gotta fucking... Who's, and also, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
59:25 H. Foley? Hey, my throw you out for something like that today, you can't be doing that. Can't go around drinking floaters at a restaurant?
59:31 Speaker 01 I don't know.
59:32 H. Foley? That's gotta be illegal, you gotta check your ID and shit first.
59:34 Speaker 01 No, a floater is unknown. That is some guy's beer. That's different than a floater.
59:40 H. Foley? It's a family floater. Family stuff.
59:43 Speaker 01 Also, what, what, what'd you get, a phone call that the dog got hit by a car, you gotta bounce like that? You're having, you ordered a pitcher, you finished the pitcher. That's all I'm frickin' saying.
59:51 H. Foley? Good pitcher of Bud Light sitting there, kidding me? You're nuts.
59:54 Speaker 01 Um, yeah, that would be, yeah, I don't know, I don't, I don't know in what world... I would just say do it. It depends. Depends on your age and who you're with, you're with your family, you can't do that, you're with your wife and your kids. You can't do that. You're with the boys, eating half price apps? Think about it.
1:00:12 H. Foley? If you're with your family and you're doing that, you're definitely leaving in separate cars.
1:00:17 H. Foley? That's a dad in a separate car. I'll meet you at home.
1:00:19 Speaker 01 For sure. Uh, alright, we got time for one more here, this is from Nick. Uh, it's a little sentimental.
1:00:26 H. Foley? Love it.
1:00:27 Speaker 01 I met my first wi- I fucked up, I met my first wife at a Chili's in my hometown as a waitress. Got married two months later. When she met my parents after the wedding, we found out we were step cousins.
1:00:40 H. Foley? Wait, hold on, take that back.
1:00:42 Speaker 01 Alright, that is some, that is some, first of all, that is some Chili's ass shit. That would never happen at Applebee's or DJI Friday.
1:00:48 H. Foley? Start again.
1:00:48 Speaker 01 Definitely not the Cheesecake Factory. I met my first wife at a Chili's in my hometown as a waitress.
1:00:54 H. Foley? Okay.
1:00:54 Speaker 01 So I want to know where this was. We got married two months later.
1:00:57 H. Foley? Two months?
1:00:58 Speaker 01 Man. Two months to a Chili's waitress?
1:01:02 H. Foley? She must have been a dime piece.
1:01:03 Speaker 01 Woo wee!
1:01:05 H. Foley? Throw it all away.
1:01:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01:06 H. Foley? Let's go.
1:01:07 Speaker 01 Let's take, dude, that's, that's one where you're like, I'll get you out of here. You're getting stopped, you know what I mean? There's, there's delusions of granger there.
1:01:14 H. Foley? For sure.
1:01:15 Speaker 01 Met my first wife at a Chili's at my hometown as a waitress, got married two months later. When she met my parents after the wedding, we found out we were step cousins.
1:01:24 H. Foley? Met my parents.
1:01:25 Speaker 01 After the wedding.
1:01:26 H. Foley? That's nuts.
1:01:27 Speaker 01 Which means...
1:01:28 H. Foley? They eloped.
1:01:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01:29 H. Foley? To a courthouse.
1:01:30 Speaker 01 But they didn't like...
1:01:31 H. Foley? The parents didn't meet her before they got married. Man, that's a, that's a Chili's romance right there.
1:01:37 Speaker 01 I'm like, it's also, how else did you think that was? That is like the most Chili's shit ever.
1:01:41 H. Foley? That's your sister!
1:01:43 Speaker 01 Step cousin. So what if step cousin would be?
1:01:46 H. Foley? Step cousin would be...
1:01:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, I have step cousins.
1:01:49 H. Foley? Yeah.
1:01:49 Speaker 01 Who were attractive.
1:01:50 H. Foley? That's not blood related. There's nothing wrong with that.
1:01:52 Speaker 01 There's nothing right with it.
1:01:53 H. Foley? I mean...
1:01:54 Speaker 01 You can't do that.
1:01:56 H. Foley? Sure. Hey.
1:01:58 Speaker 01 Not ha-
1:01:59 H. Foley? Double the food, double the fun.
1:02:01 Speaker 01 Double the pleasure, baby. Double the cousins. Alright, we gotta wrap it up, gang.
1:02:05 H. Foley? Ah, what a fun one. Gang, we love you to death. Please, if you haven't, check out the Route 66 Tours on the YouTube page. Um, we love ya. See you next week.
1:02:15 Speaker 01 Peace!
1:02:15 H. Foley? Peace.
Previous Rick Glassman Returns! Next Hot Guys w/ Kippy & Foley Page updated November 3, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated