Breaking Down The Barstool Brawl | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: https://dkng.co/bears New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get $200 in rewards within 21 days, includes all markets. For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, go to https://netsuite.ai/bears. Visit https://Betterhelp.com/BEARS. Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at https://ShipStation.com, with code cave. Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in the cave and surprise surprise, Bert opens with a confession: he wishes he'd never quit drinking. What follows is a full inventory of the modern male brain, the online pastor Tom watches every morning to get inspired, why 17-year-olds have no business being nostalgic for anything, the exact moment each of them gave up on playing pro sports, and why comedians never seem to get that same reality check. The guys break down Bert's Whoop addiction and the blood clot that started it, get talked into a completely fictional performance-enhancing stack for a 5K, fall in love with bull riding legend JB Mauney, pitch the worst sponsorship idea in podcast history, and watch a food delivery driver take on the entire Barstool office. Then it's cringe cancellation, sobriety influencers, 4:23 a.m. morning routine guys, and a long, very funny argument about which movie stars are actually men and which ones just look at themselves in the mirror. Plus Bert's new fragrance obsession, the colognes of Napoleon, Elvis and JFK, Sebastian Maniscalco's four seasonal robes, Joe Rogan's splits, Billy Bob Thornton at the CMAs, and a big announcement about the future of the show. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 337 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MYRESET. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. $50 in rewards issued every seven days via click to claim for twenty-one days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at https://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:17 - The Jewish Joke Bert Can't Tell On Stage 00:04:26 - Pastor Manning 00:09:09 - Period Sex Confessions & Giving Up On Sports 00:21:50 - Nobody Quits Comedy Or Drinking 00:31:31 - Whoop Obsession, The Blood Clot, & Tren 00:37:09 - JB Mauney & The PBR 00:44:27 - Motorcycles & The 12 O'clock Boys Sponsorship 00:46:56 - The Barstool Helmet Fight 00:52:58 - Fighting Women 00:56:13 - Cringe Cancellation 01:01:35 - Tom's Pep Talk & Bert's Therapy 01:05:05 - Sobriety Influencers & Morning Routine Guys 01:09:04 - Cringey Actors vs. Real Men 01:19:33 - Bert's Fragrance Obsession 01:30:00 - Drakkar Noir Nostalgia 01:36:49 - Sebastian Maniscalco Is A Study 01:40:04 - Bert Meets Billy Bob At The CMAs 01:44:26 - 2 Bears Is Going Back To Weekly Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hundred percent.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  All right, new episode of Two Bears, One Cave. Here we are.

• 0:08Speaker 00

  Zolo, thank you.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Buddy, thank you so much. He's one of the good ones, you know?

• 0:14Speaker 00

  He really is. You know, I gotta be honest with you. I slept on him for a very long time. I didn't know his name forever. I thought it was Zero for a little bit.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Zero?

• 0:21Speaker 00

  Yeah. He used to do answer phones at YMH.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  He did. He was our little cute kid. I think he was underage and he lied to work. He's one of those.

• 0:30Speaker 00

  I remember Nadav. I was like, what's this guy up front's name? And Nadav's like, fuck him.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:35Speaker 00

  You talked to me.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 0:37Speaker 00

  I was like, ooh.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  Well, they had a whole, like, you know, the Hasidic and the Orthodox communities have a battle.

• 0:42Speaker 00

  Is he Jewish?

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  Are you serious?

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:45Speaker 00

  Can I tell you a great Jewish joke I wrote that I can't tell on stage?

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, no one will hear it. What is it?

• 0:51Speaker 00

  I can't tell on stage. It didn't work, but it is very funny.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:54Speaker 00

  But it didn't work on stage. And I think, I think, I'm just, sometimes it's like as a comic, you know you're not. You know your voice.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02Speaker 00

  And you can write a good joke, but it's like Tosh gave me a great joke one time. I had a joke about wanting to date a black chick. And he goes, oh, you should take this joke. He goes, it doesn't work for me. And the joke was, uh, I want to date a black chick just as long as she's never had sex with a black guy.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  That's funny.

• 1:16Speaker 00

  I tried it. It didn't work for me either.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:19Speaker 00

  But.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  It's nice of him to give you that one.

• 1:22Speaker 00

  By the way, right now, Daniel Tosh is going, oh, thanks, man.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  Wait, what's the one you tried?

• 1:28Speaker 00

  Um, knowing what I know about Jewish people.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:32Speaker 00

  I can't imagine there wasn't one Jew pushing his way to the front of the line of the Holocaust. Being like, we got here early. Where are these trains going?

• 1:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44Speaker 00

  What number do you have? Mine's lower. I get in front.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  A neurotic. Yeah, that's funny.

• 1:49Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, I mean.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  You never tried it or you did try it?

• 1:52Speaker 00

  I tried it. Did not work so well.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:56Speaker 00

  No, because I think the, I think right now antisemitism is getting clouded into the Israel-Palestine thing.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03Speaker 00

  And, uh, but you know what's funny is you can be Jewish and pro-Palestine.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, no, for sure.

• 2:09Speaker 00

  Isn't that wild? You want a cigar?

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 2:12Speaker 00

  How are we gonna do this? Does it drive to like, send it to, just throw it to you? These are great cigars.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  Nice, man.

• 2:21Speaker 00

  I gotta give you, I gotta give a shout out to Altoona, Florida, the cigar hustler. His name's Mike.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought this was Arabic written on the outside.

• 2:27Speaker 00

  No, the Andalusian Bull. This is one of the hardest to get cigars out there.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Really?

• 2:32Speaker 00

  It is. It is. By the way, and I know that there are a lot of cigar guys going, talk about my cigar. And listen, this isn't from LFD. This is from, uh, this is from Mike, the cigar hustler in Altoona, Florida.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 2:45Speaker 00

  I stopped by their cigar shop one time, driving, just driving down, it was during, uh, during, uh, the Daytona 500.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  Is it, is it made there?

• 2:56Speaker 00

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  It's made in Spain?

• 2:57Speaker 00

  Uh, no, this is, uh, this is not made in Spain. And so this cigar, this actual cigar is one of the best cigars to get. This Andalusian Bull is one of the best cigars to get, La Florida Minica.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  And by the way, I just got a hit up from La Florida Minica. They're gonna send me a different package. But this guy, I stopped by his own family cigar shop.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:16Speaker 00

  And I casually walked in and I was like, he goes, what are you looking for? His brother did. And I told him, I love the Andalusian Bull. And he goes, we don't have any. This is like fucking four months ago. And this guy just got ahold of my address and he sent me a box of cigars, gave me a handwritten message. I texted him, gave me his number. And he said, you know, if you ever just want to text about cigars, hit me up. You ever want to talk cigars, hit me up. But I, here's a, here's a box of scars. And this cigar, you're gonna fucking love. You're going to fucking love.

• 3:47Speaker 00

  Here.

• 3:51Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 3:53Speaker 00

  I wish.

• 4:08Speaker 00

  I'm very happy for my health.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  No.

• 4:13Speaker 00

  But I wish I'd never quit drinking.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  I mean, you've said this quite a few times. Where'd that go?

• 4:18Speaker 00

  Under your butt.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Why do you wish you'd never quit drinking?

• 4:21Speaker 00

  It's so hard to get back into.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  You know what you need?

• 4:24Speaker 00

  What?

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Inspiration. Do you know what's kind of inspiring what I've been doing? It's kind of surprising, maybe to you, but a little more religious service. I do it online, though. And it inspires the hell out of me.

• 4:38Speaker 00

  Okay, I'm, part of me hopes this is a bit so I can laugh, but then the other part of me.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:44Speaker 00

  Hoping you're being dead serious.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  No, it is. It's a, uh, it's the Pastor Manning, James David Manning, from the Atla World Ministry. I watch his stuff every day.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  Are you sure?

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:59Speaker 00

  You have been searching for something for quite a while.

• 5:06Speaker 00

  Oh shit, you're such a fucking asshole.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  Why?

• 5:09Speaker 00

  This is him?

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:10Speaker 00

  Uh, I've seen this guy.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Oh, you have?

• 5:12Speaker 00

  Oh, fuck yeah, I have seen this guy. This guy drops the M-word like negative.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Well, I don't, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about his message, you know? The message is great. That's.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  Play him. I want to hear him.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 5:26Speaker 00

  I love when they go, warning about this message. So wait, this is what's in your feed?

• 5:33Speaker 01

  I've reached out to him.

• 5:34Speaker 00

  Are you serious?

• 5:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm trying to have him come to Austin. Yeah. Oh, thanks, bro.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Thank you. All right, thanks, man. He's a really good guy.

• 5:45Speaker 00

  Kyle?

• 5:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:47Speaker 00

  He's a great guy.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 5:52Speaker 00

  Sweet. Play me one of his videos.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Well, there's a few good ones.

• 5:56Speaker 00

  Oh, you gotta put headsets on for it?

• 5:57Speaker 01

  We'll put headsets?

• 5:58Speaker 00

  Somebody need to tell these niggas to get a job, get off government welfare, get off these damn government. I see these niggas, these niggas are better at neural sciences, at knowing how to work the government, to get money from the government for every damn thing, from tennis shoes to G-spring. These niggas, nobody never told them, since they've been, since Dr. King, let me tell you something. Since the days of Dr. King, all niggas have ever heard is that the government owes you, the government owes you reparations. Get money from the government. They ain't never heard of get a job, get a job. Yippee, yippee, yippee, yippee, mum, mum, mum, mum, get a job.

• 6:45Speaker 00

  Get a job, damn it, nigga, get a job! You didn't sing the rest of it.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  I forgot the rest of the words.

• 6:50Speaker 00

  Get off government welfare.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's, this is like, uh, how I, I wake up every morning and I play this first thing in the morning.

• 6:57Speaker 00

  He's super inspirational.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  He really is.

• 6:59Speaker 00

  I mean, it's, I don't think the message is for me.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Well, that one maybe not, but he does stuff about socialism, gay people.

• 7:09Speaker 00

  Oh, I want to hear one of the gay ones.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Oh, there's, yeah, there's a good gay one. Um, there it is, right there, left pinstripe suit on the far left. Yeah.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Listen, let me tell you something. You want to have sex with another man, you want to go inside of his lower.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  Turn me up?

• 7:24Speaker 02

  And pack whatever is in there. Pack his dung. Stack it all up by you pushing in there and pushing it. You want to do that? Knock yourself out, homie. You want to pack another man's doo-doo, that's your business. If you find delight in that, I, I find it abhorrent, but if, if that's what, if packing another man's doo-doo brings you on, knock yourself out, bro. I just want to tell you, the Bible says it wrong. The Bible says it's wrong. But anybody else with half a brain would understand, there must be something wrong with you to want to go inside of another man's asshole and pack his dung. Don't that stuff get all over you? I mean, that's what it's there, that's what that place is made for.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  How on earth can you elevate that up just past the man in preaching?

• 8:14Speaker 02

  You see where, you see where? Where the world is?

• 8:20Speaker 01

  He's the man.

• 8:21Speaker 00

  I, I, I, I didn't understand that, that's what fudge packing was when I was a kid.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  Fudge pack, yeah.

• 8:28Speaker 00

  He's like, look at these fudge packers. And I just was like.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:32Speaker 00

  I was like, well, I, because I, you know, the, sometimes people that work in the candy store are a little sweet.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:37Speaker 00

  I was like, oh, pack and fudge.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  You know what's a good one now?

• 8:40Speaker 00

  What?

• 8:41Speaker 01

  Uh, and it also, I think it comes from the black community too. They always come up with the best expressions. Is when they call dude zesty. Like, man, he's real zesty. Zesty is such a great description.

• 8:51Speaker 00

  Zesty is pretty.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  It's pretty, yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 00

  I, I heard shit dick.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  Well, that's a little more on the nose.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  I like that. You gotta wipe the shit off your dick.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  No, I get it.

• 9:00Speaker 00

  That's great.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  I'm not like, what does that mean?

• 9:02Speaker 00

  No, but that's like a really crazy thing.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:05Speaker 00

  You want to like take intimacy to the next level. Like having sex with a girl on her period is one thing, right?

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:10Speaker 00

  And I think every straight guy goes, well, that's part of the tax. Every now and.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Not every guy, ever. Some guys are really like turned off by that.

• 9:18Speaker 00

  Zolo!

• 9:19Speaker 01

  You've never met a guy who doesn't like that?

• 9:20Speaker 00

  Zolo!

• 9:21Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 9:22Speaker 00

  You ever fucked a girl on her period?

• 9:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 9:29Speaker 00

  So quick.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  No, Zola's a real man. I'm saying.

• 9:35Speaker 00

  Zola is.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  You can't, you can't.

• 9:37Speaker 00

  Zola is a real man.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  You can't attribute that to everybody.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  I don't even know what's happening.

• 9:44Speaker 00

  He goes, Zola, you ever fuck a girl on her period? All this, all I can vision to my head. Yes.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:52Speaker 00

  Do you remember the first time you did it?

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:59Speaker 00

  Wait, tell me the story.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  It's a lot to take in. Yeah, cuz I was 17.

• 10:07Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  And I didn't know. I was like, yeah, I don't care.

• 10:10Speaker 00

  Wait, Mitch Patel is the best joke.

• 10:16Speaker 00

  Mitch Patel had a joke. He goes, you ever have sex with a girl on her period? And she's like, I just want you to know about my period. And you go, as a guy, you're like, I don't care. And then halfway through, you're like, I kinda care.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  I think at that age, you're not prepared, you know, for what's gonna happen. Once you're fucking adult, you're like, yeah, who cares?

• 10:38Speaker 00

  I would love. I mean, I haven't had sex with a girl on her period.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  This chick had a heavy flow.

• 10:45Speaker 00

  Five years. It'll never happen again.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  No. Oh, yeah.

• 10:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, she's done.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  She's done. You miss it? You're nostalgic for it?

• 10:57Speaker 00

  Not really. There was something kinda cool about having sex with the chick on her period. A little like, it was a little like, I don't know.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  You're like, I'm nasty.

• 11:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, it was like, eh. And then I, I mean, I'm gonna say, and then this girl, but you know it's Leanne, would never let me look at cleanup. She'd be like, do not look at that.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:17Speaker 00

  Like it was a crime scene and she was gonna take care of it.

• 11:21Speaker 01

  You guys were big into anal for a while, right?

• 11:23Speaker 00

  Never, never, never.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  No?

• 11:27Speaker 00

  Never.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  You tried?

• 11:28Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. I mean, if you, by trying, saying, asking for it.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  You did.

• 11:33Speaker 00

  All the time. And I'm cool if she never had it. She never had anal, then that, then I'm fine. But if she had had it once, then I had to have it with her. And she says she never had it, so I'm good.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:45Speaker 00

  But if I'm at fucking the Piggy Wiggly in Bowdoin, Georgia, and I just hear from one aisle over, is that bird over there? I go, yeah. And he goes, I did it. I'm fucking ruined.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  You're gonna be.

• 11:55Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  But then you'll get it that day. Thank God, football is back and something big is coming. DraftKings Game Day arrives on September 2nd. Not just in your living room. DraftKings is live in all 50 states. No matter where you are or what team you root for, DraftKings has you covered. One app, every sport, and just in time for football season. And Bertrand, did you know that the season opener for Cincinnati is against your Tampa Bay Bucks? My hometown versus your hometown is how the season is kicking off. It is September 13th. It's gonna be, I don't know, anything could happen. I hope.

• 12:40Speaker 00

  Well, they're favoring the Bengals. They think it's gonna be a high-scoring game, but I will tell you this.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 12:45Speaker 00

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• 12:52Speaker 01

  DraftKings, I cannot wait. I'm gonna be calling all of my Bengal friends. I'm gonna be trying to get inside it. No, I'm not gonna do that. But we're gonna place a wager. What happens? What happens? We should have a friendly wager. If the Bengals win or the Bucks win?

• 13:06Speaker 00

  Uh, well, I like this. Are you just cash? Or are we doing like a legit?

• 13:11Speaker 01

  Something fun. Yeah, something fun.

• 13:13Speaker 00

  You have to stop wearing these fake glasses?

• 13:15Speaker 01

  These are real glasses, dude.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Okay, whatever.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  I can't see. I'm nearly blind now. It's my glaucoma. Is something else, maybe?

• 13:25Speaker 01

  All right, if, if the Bucks win, I'll take you shopping for adult clothes.

• 13:30Speaker 00

  I'll tell you what, you ready? Hold on.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 00

  If the Bucks win, I get to dye your beard. And if the Bengals win, I won't dye mine.

• 13:39Speaker 01

  Okay, okay. That's pretty cool. I would love to see a dyed beard on me. That's a, that's a win. DraftKings, you got, you heard it here first. Bengals, Bucks, that's the, so new DraftKings customers, sign up with the code BEARS.

• 13:53Speaker 00

  Oh, come on, Bucks. Do you know how great you're gonna look? Like Randy the Macho Man Savage?

• 13:59Speaker 01

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• 14:48Speaker 00

  The amount of conflicting advice out there about hair loss is exhausting. Take it from a guy who's done all the research.

• 14:56Speaker 00

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• 17:02Speaker 01

  You think it'd be kinda?

• 17:03Speaker 00

  I don't think it's gonna happen. I mean, it's like, I just gave up on it. It's like certain things, like, you remember the age where you're like, at a young age, you realize you're not gonna play pro sports?

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 00

  You're like, I don't need to be a professional. Like, there's an age where you're like, I wouldn't mind playing quarterback for the fucking Tampa Bay Bucks.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:21Speaker 00

  I wouldn't mind playing, being like a catcher for the fucking Cubs. And then at a certain age, I had to actually give up on pro sports. And it was late. Like, I was like.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  How old was it?

• 17:33Speaker 00

  19.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  That's when you're like, I'm not gonna be a pro athlete.

• 17:36Speaker 00

  When I went out to play at Florida State and I saw the competition and I saw the way they played. And I realized really, cuz I still, I got recruited and everything. So I always kinda thought, I don't know, I'll blossom late. I'll get bigger. I never, all working out growing up, I never got like big. I was struggling, but I was never got big. I was like, one day, I'll get there. And then at 19, I was like, oh, I don't have it. I'm never gonna play. And I gave up on baseball.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  I'd have to tell you how my fan, like, cuz it's a fantasy. It's like a delusion. You don't realize you're being delusional, you know? How it ended really for me is I'm in high school and I played football next to, like on the defensive line, next to a guy who was highly recruited, right? He was recruited by a lot of big schools.

• 18:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  And he had a invite to go to a game in Miami at a Hurricanes game. They were playing Syracuse. And I went with him. And so in my delus.

• 18:38Speaker 00

  White or black?

• 18:39Speaker 01

  Black. In my, come on. What are we doing here?

• 18:43Speaker 00

  Zola, you ever fuck a girl on her period?

• 18:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:45Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. Kyle, you ever fuck a girl on her period?

• 18:51Speaker 01

  Not only was he black, he had an apostrophe in his name. Okay?

• 18:54Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  So, yeah, he, there's a reason they were showing up to practice. So.

• 19:01Speaker 00

  Not only was he black, he had an apostrophe in his name.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  He was legit. And so we go down to Miami. This is at the Orange Bowl, the OB.

• 19:09Speaker 00

  Not only was he black.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  He is the real deal. So.

• 19:16Speaker 00

  This guy was so black, all his brother's names started with the same letter.

• 19:19Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. There's different spellings of the same name. So he.

• 19:27Speaker 00

  Do you think like, cause I, hang on, I want you to tell your story, but like, you say that and I'm laughing at a celebration of black, cause we know how much we love black people, right? Like we would, there are a lot of our arts created by black people, our favorite actors, our favorite comedians are all black people, our musicians. Do you think white, black people can laugh, like he was so white, like, and then they laugh because they enjoy white people?

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Good na- it's good natured.

• 19:52Speaker 00

  Okay, go.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  It's good natured talking about race, for sure. So, so we're standing on the sidelines and you're just kind of taking it all in, right? You're in the orange bowl, like you're seeing like some of the records, like, you know what I mean? Like signs and placards everywhere about things and you're like, all right. And you know, like, I don't think I'm like in a full delusion fantasy, but you're just like, yeah, and I'm playing high school football. I think I'm a junior. So you're like, I play high school football, like this is the next level. And you're kind of like, that would be cool, right? And then, then the guys come out of the tunnel, they come out of the smoke, that's when they used to like the, like the fucking fire extinguisher smoke and the players come out and they're

• 20:37Speaker 01

  down there and you're still like, you're like, that looks rad. And then they come, we're, we're on the sidelines. So they're walking up to us and he and I play on the line, on defensive line. And some of the guy, linemen come up and they're standing next to us now and I'm at eye level with the numbers on their chest. Like I'm looking at like seven zero and I'm like, what the fuck, man? Like I'm looking at it, I'm like, and then I remember Rohan Marley.

• 21:09Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  Was injured and he was that, that, so he wasn't playing that week, but he was standing on the sidelines and he had a chain around his neck with a lock hanging from it. Sort of like Rampage Jackson. But this is like 96 or something, you know? And I'm just like, looking at him, who's not a big guy, but then you're just like, yeah, I'm not gonna play against these guys. This is not happening. And that's like the, the fantasy leaving your head, like 17 years old, you're just like, I'm gonna go fuck someone on their period. This is crazy, you know? This is nuts.

• 21:46Speaker 00

  So wait, why is it, here's my question, is, what is it that then makes it so that so many people don't give up on comedy?

• 21:59Speaker 01

  Uh, wait.

• 22:01Speaker 00

  Cause like, there's so many people that should give up on their dream of comedy.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  They're delusional.

• 22:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. And but then how come there isn't the equivalent of that with, say, like, with sports?

• 22:15Speaker 01

  There is.

• 22:16Speaker 00

  There are?

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Hundred percent. Because the notably super talented ones just go through and make it. Then there's like the kind of on the line, some of them can grind it out, some of them can't. Then some people, I mean, you hear about guys like they were on 13 practice squads.

• 22:34Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  Or they're in the minors for like 15 years. They're hanging on, they're chasing it. I mean, it's kind of rude to say delusional, but you know what I mean? They're, they're pushing it even though the path isn't there. And then the funny thing about the arts though, that's sort of similar, but at the same time different, is you can push in the arts for decades and still break through. You can break through at 40 or 50 years old.

• 22:58Speaker 00

  Me.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  You can break through.

• 22:59Speaker 00

  I had to, I had to sit one time, I remember there was a guy that was like, had the hottest chick in the world, comedian, sitting at the, outside the comedy store. He had the car that was, I've said this story before, but he had the car that was in the showroom at Audi. It was in the showroom and we had just looked at Audis.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:15Speaker 00

  And he had the showroom car.

• 23:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:17Speaker 00

  I knew exactly how much that car that cost. And I was like, Jack, we couldn't afford that. And I was like, and it had happened for him. It was happening for him. And I was like, well, I guess it's never gonna happen for me. I was like 43 or 42. And I was like, I, I did a good, I had a good, I remember I had just talked to someone about Travel Channel and about like production. And, and I was really like, I guess this is my strength is, I know how to make like.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Host.

• 23:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, I can host TV shows. I'll do that for the rest of my life. Pay for the girls to get through college. And I remember I came off stage, I was shirtless, I had these ugly Nikes on. I didn't have cool shoes. I didn't know cool shoes yet. I've got the ones that were comfortable. Leanne made me stop wearing them on stage.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  Really?

• 23:58Speaker 00

  They were so ugly.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  What, where were they?

• 24:00Speaker 00

  I had a bunch of them. I, they were my favorite ones. They were like slide on Nikes. They were good for plantar fasciitis. And Leanne was like, they're so ugly, you gotta stop wearing them. And, um, Halston bought a pair because he thought they were cool. And when he bought a pair, he should have known.

• 24:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:14Speaker 00

  They were really ugly.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:15Speaker 00

  When he was like, I like these. And I was like, oh, really? And then I saw them on him and I was like, is that what I look like it?

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:22Speaker 00

  And I was like, I guess I'm just not gonna make it. And I was cool with it. I'm not cool with it now.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  Would you ever host again?

• 24:29Speaker 00

  No.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Why?

• 24:31Speaker 00

  Cause I don't, I can't have anyone tell me what to do. I'm, I'm past, I'm broken. I'm really broken. And, but what sucks is now knowing what I should do is worse than the life I lived when I didn't know what to do.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  I'm confused.

• 24:44Speaker 00

  Okay. When I drank, I drank like a fucking lunatic whenever I wanted. I was fine. Blood works fine. It's for, for my parameters. I'm not dying. No one's told me to stop drinking. I'm good. Party. Now that I know what recovery feels like and what like a normal person feels like, it's so hard to get back into drinking. Cause you start saying, I should give myself a couple of days off. And then a couple of days, you realize, you know, if I give myself the week, I'm gonna feel really good. And then I know that'll be good for my blood work. I know that I'll be healthier. I know that then, you know, someone just told me that Alzheimer's happens when, because of lack of blood flow to the brain. And that's because of high blood pressure. That's why black guys get Alzheimer's twice more than

• 25:28Speaker 00

  white guys is because they don't check their blood pressure.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  Really?

• 25:31Speaker 00

  A hundred percent. I, I made this, I don't know if this is totally accurate.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 25:36Speaker 00

  But a hundred percent because black guys are afraid of doctors. So a lot of them die of cardiovascular diseases more than white guys. White guys go to the doctor more often. These are stats I made up based off of Danny Glover.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 25:49Speaker 00

  Danny Glover has Alzheimer's and I said.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  He does?

• 25:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  Man.

• 25:53Speaker 00

  Danny Glover has Alzheimer's.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  I saw Danny Glover at an Aretha Franklin concert in 2000, in like the year 2000.

• 26:03Speaker 00

  Dude, talk about living the life.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  Come on. We were all in awe of both things.

• 26:08Speaker 00

  Danny Glover?

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. Danny Glover is fucking incredible.

• 26:12Speaker 00

  Too old for this shit.

• 26:13Speaker 01

  He's fantastic. I didn't know that, man. That's sad to me.

• 26:15Speaker 00

  And he got it because of blood pressure issues, I think. I don't know why they have, by the way, I'm determining, you gotta put a fucking disclaimer on this. I don't know anything about Alzheimer's.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 26:24Speaker 00

  I just assume.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  No one's gonna be like, you know, I gotta see what Bert says about Alzheimer's. Don't worry.

• 26:29Speaker 00

  Wait till I talk about vaccines and communism.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 26:31Speaker 00

  And so, but, but, so then I, then you start going, well, I need to keep low blood pressure. So then I'll age better. I'd like to see 80. I'd like to see 82. And I know that if I, if I stay healthy. And then you, and then you go to a concert and you know what bad behavior is and you know what good behavior is. Good behavior is, hey, we get a couple beers. Bad behavior is to start thinking, when do they stop serving? I want to get one to make sure I have a beer for the encore. And you recognize the bad behavior and then go, don't ignore that voice in your head. You've got a good enough buzz. You're just gonna get, get in the car and drink water and get a good night's sleep tonight.

• 27:11Speaker 01

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• 28:27Speaker 00

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen, I talked about it on Kimmel last night with Jelly Roll. Uh, my mental health has not been fantastic and therapy is something I not only look forward to, but, uh, I absolutely need. And I'm doubling down. I'm getting yet another therapist and I'm open to talk about it, you know? For me, it's anxiety and it's all the stuff that I've been going through these last seven months kind of showed up. And, uh, and it's crazy. It's, it's crazy. And, and, but there's people that can help you. If you're dealing with it like I am, get help like I am. You've heard me talk about BetterHelp for a while, but I haven't really discussed how people feel about after they actually use the service. You don't have to take my word for it. Head over to

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• 31:14Speaker 00

  And I regret, I regret seeing the other side of the fence.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  Really?

• 31:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, I really, I didn't think things through. And it's, being obliviously ignorant is so enjoyable. And, and having a little bit of wisdom.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:32Speaker 00

  Is like, I mean.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  I see that. I see what you mean.

• 31:35Speaker 00

  My whoop is like, I, I live and die by this thing.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  You really do.

• 31:40Speaker 00

  I do my resting, I can tell you my resting heart rate for almost every day of this past week. Because I check, the first thing I do is I check my resting heart rate, my sleep recovery. I check my VO2 max. I check my age. I drank, I drank three times last week and it's, and it slowed my age down. So I just aged regularly. But before I was losing like, I, Tom, I was 68 years old on my whoop age, I think.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  When, when you started this?

• 32:07Speaker 00

  The day I got the blood clot. And I'm now 52.

• 32:10Speaker 01

  Did your drinking have anything to do with the blood? I just don't know. They weren't related?

• 32:14Speaker 00

  Can I tell you, this is what sucks about, everyone has a different opinion.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Even in medicine?

• 32:20Speaker 00

  Everyone, dude, everyone has a different opinion. I mean, and, and everyone wants to be, the thing in medicine is everyone wants to be the expert. So everyone tells you whatever they tell you and it's kind of framed in like their thing. And they're just gonna come at you. You're on testosterone, you gotta get off testosterone. Let me guess, you got some of these, one of these fucking doctors that gives you these compounded drugs out of Asia. And you're like, I don't, I don't think that's it, but I know what you're saying, but yeah, kinda. Hold on, what did, let me, can I tell you, I'm an ear, ear, nose, and throat guy. Have you, are you an alcoholic? And you're like, I don't, I mean, maybe, I don't know. Have you gone to an AA meeting? And you go, you're an ear, nose, and throat guy. Why the fuck are we talking about AA meetings?

• 32:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:59Speaker 00

  And then you go to anyone gives you a different opinion. Dude, I got so many different opinions that you just have to go, I don't know, I'm on blood thinners for the rest of my life. I know that. And then, I don't know.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  But that could be, I mean, could be genetic, right? Could be.

• 33:14Speaker 00

  They don't know. There's an injury, there was an injury to my vein.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Tea does make your blood thicker. That's true.

• 33:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, it does. Yeah.

• 33:22Speaker 01

  But that's not booze, that's.

• 33:23Speaker 00

  But it's also at high levels.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 00

  I mean, that's who the guys that are doing like, there's another fucking guy I talked to. He was like, what are your tea, how much are you injecting? And I was like, minimal, like 15, twice a week. And he was like, that's not a lot. I used to inject 100 three times a week.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:41Speaker 00

  And he was like, what are you trying to gain, gain weight or what are you doing? Why are you doing it? And I was like, I'm just doing it because it was prescribed to me. And he was like, no, you gotta get up to like 300, 200 at least. If you wanna fucking see gains.

• 33:52Speaker 01

  I know a guy who told me he was doing 200 three times a week. And I was like, what the fuck? And if you looked at him, you'd be like, okay.

• 34:00Speaker 00

  And he's like, and you gotta dump blood every six months. Dump blood, you dump a gallon of blood every six months. And then I'm like, okay. He said, have you tried tren? And I was like.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Tren? You don't wanna get on tren, dude.

• 34:11Speaker 00

  Dude, they say tren is like.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, they do. But I mean, that's for like, real psycho bodybuilding shit, man.

• 34:18Speaker 00

  He's like, if you're cool with your sexuality, you should try tren.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:20Speaker 00

  And I was like, why don't you go tren makes you gay.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Really?

• 34:23Speaker 00

  Guess a lot of dudes that make tren, that get on tren, they just start fucking dudes.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  All right, I'm down. Let's try, let's try it.

• 34:29Speaker 00

  I would try tren. You know, you know that that is the number one thing these guys get on when they make movies and they have to get jacked as they get on tren.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, that's like the, I think the strongest, let's get on a crazy stack, you and me. Let's do Winstrol, Deca, Anavar, tren, like the whole thing.

• 34:46Speaker 00

  Deca's not that bad for you.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  Really?

• 34:48Speaker 00

  That's what they say.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 34:50Speaker 00

  But it's like, everyone's an expert in everything.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Can you type in, is it a good idea to take tren, Winstrol, Anavar, Deca, and testosterone to get ready for my 5K?

• 35:07Speaker 01

  Just, just to see what it says.

• 35:08Speaker 00

  We should take tren for the next 5K.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  Well, that's just good for, I think, building muscle, right?

• 35:13Speaker 00

  What's the best, Winstrol's, what's the best for endurance?

• 35:16Speaker 01

  That I don't know.

• 35:17Speaker 00

  Let's do the, what Lance Armstrong did, where he did a place at Bloods.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  Wasn't that like, wasn't that what it's called?

• 35:27Speaker 01

  Let's see, okay.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  It's gonna be like, whoa.

• 35:31Speaker 00

  No, taking Tremblone, Winstrol, testosterone, and Deca is a very dangerous and counterproductive idea for training for a 5K.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. Why this stack harms 5K training? Joint and tendon destruction, added body weight, severe side effects. And then be like, okay, um, no, no, just ask for, ask in the ask anything, ask what are some performance enhancing drugs?

• 36:00Speaker 00

  That would help with a 5K.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  That would help with a 5K.

• 36:03Speaker 00

  Can I tell you, it's like, experts are all over the place right now.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:06Speaker 00

  If you go online, everyone's an expert. I follow two guys who tell you how to raise children.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:12Speaker 00

  Two dudes, and they just basically make their kids do burpees up a hill.

• 36:15Speaker 01

  Oh, these are banned. That's what we're looking for, ban things. What, oh, there's, that, that's what he was on. This hormone stimulates red blood cell production, is directly increases VO2 max. That's what you need.

• 36:25Speaker 00

  That's what we want.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  Blood doping, we could do some of that. Uh, metabolic and energy regulators, uh, Caradine, GW501516. This changes the body's energy preference from glucose to fatty acids. Um, oh man, that boosts endurance and delays exhaustion. Icar? Acar? How do you say it?

• 36:43Speaker 00

  Oh, here's, you're gonna be happy on this one, CNS stimulants.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck yeah.

• 36:48Speaker 00

  You should have named your sons Amphetamine and Modifinil.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is awesome. All right, please save this stack. We gotta reach out and try to get some of these into us.

• 36:57Speaker 00

  When you get online, there are guys that go, stop running. If you're running, you're fucking your body up. And you're like, okay, dude, cold plunge, do not cold plunge. There's so many opposing views. They really need to be.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  It's for everything though, dude.

• 37:12Speaker 00

  Can I tell you who I really admire? I talked to you about him today. Is, and I'll tell you why I admire him. First of all, his name is J D Mahoney, Mahoney, Mahoney.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, you were telling me about.

• 37:22Speaker 00

  J B Mahoney. Type in J B Mahoney. He looks like Tony Hinchcliffe. He's like if Tony Hinchcliffe was like a badass.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Let's see. Oh yeah, this is like if, if Tony was straight.

• 37:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. If Tony was straight.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  This would be him. That's literally a straight Tony.

• 37:39Speaker 00

  It's straight Tony Hinchcliffe. And he smokes cigarettes like Tony. And I'll tell you why I, I look up to this guy. Go back to this, okay? Now go to the 2019 injuries.

• 37:52Speaker 00

  So when he walks, you can see that he's broken. Like his body's broken, right?

• 37:58Speaker 00

  He's got every injury you can ever.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Torn rotator cuff, sprained jaw, sprained wrist, bruised forearm, leg contusion, torn MCL, broken fibula, thigh strain, groin. That's, that's a good year.

• 38:16Speaker 00

  Torn MCL. And when you hear him talk about these, he bought the bull that retired him. He bought that bull. He's a badass. I think someone's clip farming him because he's all that's in my feed.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:27Speaker 00

  He's all that's in my feed.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  I went to PBR. I went.

• 38:31Speaker 00

  What'd you think?

• 38:32Speaker 01

  It was fucking awesome.

• 38:33Speaker 00

  It's crazy.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  I had, I never was exposed to anything like this. I didn't know, again, like, I didn't know about the turnout or to something like that. Cause I'd never been, I didn't know that the level of production involved and just the showmanship involved. It was super fucking entertaining. And they're, those are legit badasses, dude. Those guys are complete badasses.

• 38:55Speaker 00

  They're both athletes, the bull and the bull rider.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Yes, true. And did you know this? I learned something. So, well, it was all a learning experience for me. But, so we're watching, you know, the, the, the rider get ready and like strap in, right? And he's wrapping that rope around, he's getting ready. And there's this one, sometimes if the bull leans to one side, you know, the, the, the rider can't get his leg down, so they have to move the bull. They, they put like this long, orange, kind of, I don't even know how to describe it. Like, uh, it, it's, it's like a foam thing that to, basically to make the bull move so the rider can get his leg down.

• 39:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:33Speaker 01

  And not smashed against the steel. So they're waiting and they're waiting, and they have a time limit. Like you only have like, I think 40 seconds, once you're on the clock, for them to open the gate. And they're, we're waiting and we're waiting, we're like, what's going on? And finally, the, they, they announce it. They're like, you got a few seconds, man. And the rider gets off and they open the gate and the bull just trots out and it's like. And everybody in the arena laughs, you know, because it's like it's the only bull that didn't go crazy and buck. And then it just walks back in the thing. And I was like, oh, what, what happens now? And what I learned is the bulls have different owners. So there's, there's teams in PBR, but the bulls are owned by people that breed them, you know?

• 40:19Speaker 01

  And they were like, the owner of that bull won't get paid. Just like, uh, like if an athlete, it's like, I'm not going to ride or whatever, wouldn't get paid because that bull didn't perform. When you said they're both athletes, it is an athlete and they trained the bull too. If the bull doesn't perform, the owner doesn't get paid. So that bull was like, I'm not bucking. And they were like, nothing for you. Yeah, it's crazy, right?

• 40:42Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 40:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. But those guys are sad. They're lunatics, dude.

• 40:47Speaker 00

  They're, it's a different, they're children. And I, I say this, I don't want

• 40:51Speaker 01

  They're not big. That's a funny thing to learn.

• 40:53Speaker 00

  This guy's Tony Hinchcliffe. Well, you gotta see.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  No, all the riders are around 160 pounds.

• 40:58Speaker 00

  Size.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Really?

• 40:59Speaker 00

  He looks like Tony Hinchcliffe.

• 41:00Speaker 01

  They're about 160. That's what they told me when I was there. And you meet them and they're slender guys. They're not big dudes. The bulls are 1600 to 2000 pounds.

• 41:12Speaker 00

  So this guy got me into a deep dive on both bull riders.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's cool. It was really a fucking amazing show. Let me be clear about it. It was a really great show.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  Ty Murray. Now, this is JB, right?

• 41:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 00

  JB is the tough, he is the toughest bull rider out there. He is possibly the Michael Jordan of bull riding. That is what I've accrued from online. Now, Ty Murray, is it Ty Murray? Was the guy before him. First of all, there's a guy that, who did, uh, Luke Will, Luke Perry play, who did he play that movie of? Luke Perry played a bull rider.

• 41:50Speaker 00

  Eight seconds.

• 41:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:51Speaker 00

  That guy, Lane, Lane, uh,

• 41:55Speaker 00

  what was his name? Lane Frost was the fucking man. You gotta understand, man, these guys are groomed from a very young age to be men. When you see this, and I hope, I will never want to talk about a man's, about a man, about a man's child, ever. When you look at JB, and then being positive, JB Mooney's son?

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:18Speaker 00

  Is a badass. And I don't want to put that on a kid where he has to live up to that or any of that, even talking about a kid online. But that kid's son?

• 42:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:26Speaker 00

  He's a bad, he walks around with his dad, like, and they both have a swagger to them. Now, JB's swagger is because he's got nine broken MCLs. So you can see his hips weird, move weird. Like, he's been beaten the fuck out of.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  I think they all have, dude.

• 42:41Speaker 00

  But his son, and they, and man, his son is fearless. I've seen so many videos of this guy. But that is a, that is like a, it's, it's almost like, you know, I had some, I had some two self-proclaimed nepo babies on Something's Burning. Like, that's what they called themselves.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 43:00Speaker 00

  And it is just getting into your parents' occupation, which if it's around you, you can't help but see it.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:07Speaker 00

  And it's the same thing with these bull rider sons are fucking badasses. So you have one kid that could absolutely be a bull rider.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  Oh, maybe. Yeah, I don't know. He loved it. And the experience was, was so cool. By the way, at that thing, they told me, one of the guys, and I'm sorry, I don't know his name, but multiple people told me that's the best of all time, was riding in the, at the one I went to.

• 43:35Speaker 00

  Who, who, who?

• 43:35Speaker 01

  I don't know. I don't know his name. I also didn't know how big it is in Brazil.

• 43:40Speaker 00

  Oh, fuck, yeah.

• 43:41Speaker 01

  Well, we were watching, I think there was 10 teams and, um,

• 43:45Speaker 00

  Fogo de Chao, baby.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, but I, I mean, I was watching this thing and each team had at least four Brazilians, every team.

• 43:54Speaker 00

  It's, it's the only place you're gonna get men from. Like, think, think about this. Where are men? Go to where men are. Those people cage fight.

• 44:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:03Speaker 00

  They ride bulls.

• 44:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:05Speaker 00

  They ride motorcycles with no helmets and flip flops.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. Did you see that? Oh, did you see that video that came out? I think it's in, it's in Brazil. Of the two guys on a motorcycle and they're in flip flops, rob somebody? And the guy in the car backs up, turns around, chases them and crashes them into a wall.

• 44:25Speaker 00

  No.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. It went totally viral. Have you not seen this?

• 44:29Speaker 00

  No, no.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  Dude. And then they couldn't back the, the car off of a body. It was just wedged against the wall.

• 44:37Speaker 00

  Did you see the?

• 44:38Speaker 01

  But he got his stuff back.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  Did you see the video of the guy in LA that got into a motorcycle chase? And someone left a gallon of gas in a park for him?

• 44:47Speaker 01

  No.

• 44:48Speaker 00

  Dude.

• 44:50Speaker 00

  We need motorcycles.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  Motorcycles are rad.

• 44:53Speaker 00

  Dude, you're entering a new phase of your life. We could totally, no one tells you rules anymore.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 44:57Speaker 00

  We could totally get motorcycles.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  I rode a motorcycle one time. You learned how to ride for a show, right? Did you learn for trip flip?

• 45:03Speaker 00

  Trip flip, yeah.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  How long did they, did you spend learning?

• 45:06Speaker 00

  Two days.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Two days?

• 45:08Speaker 00

  At a fucking putt putt golf, fucking park.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  I, I learned in 15 seconds. And I was wearing shorts and like flip flops.

• 45:16Speaker 00

  Were in Peru?

• 45:17Speaker 01

  No, in LA. And the, the guy was like, yeah, you're good. And then like, I don't know what I'm doing, you know, I have no, and I'm riding it and I'm like feeling the burn on my leg. I'm a, I'm a total amateur. I was, I was like, this is not for me. I also was, you know, getting used to the throttle and the gears. I was like, I'm not, I'm not doing this. I'll stick to cars.

• 45:39Speaker 00

  Can I tell you a subtle pitch?

• 45:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:41Speaker 00

  Okay. Have you ever heard of the 12 o'clock boys?

• 45:44Speaker 01

  12 o'clock. Is that in Baltimore?

• 45:46Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:48Speaker 00

  We need to sponsor a street team. A bunch of young black youths that ride, and we just, we send them a bunch of merch and we send them like fucking 10 grand. 10 grand for, for blunts and fucking whatever they need.

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 46:04Speaker 00

  Whatever they're, whatever they're, whatever they crave. Blunts and sweet, and, uh, and Sour Patch Kids. Pull up 12 o'clock boys. And then we think about this, Tom. We brand them. We put all our merch all over them. When we give them 10 grand, right? Everyone's getting a thousand bucks. And then they're riding through Baltimore, Poroso shit, Two Bear shit, all over.

• 46:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's an interesting marketing angle.

• 46:27Speaker 00

  It's, it's, but hang on. How, don't you, when, when those street teams come up on you and you're on like the 10, right?

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:33Speaker 00

  And don't you get so excited? Almost like you're a little kid and you slow down, you break the law and you're like, get, do your thing.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  It's exciting.

• 46:40Speaker 00

  It's so fucking fun.

• 46:42Speaker 01

  Sometimes you, you, you kind of ride the wave between excited and terrified, you know?

• 46:46Speaker 00

  Ian Zaring got into a fight with them.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  He did?

• 46:49Speaker 00

  You never saw that video?

• 46:50Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 46:51Speaker 00

  Ian Zaring, uh, you know, he wasn't happy with the way they were.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  Riding?

• 46:56Speaker 00

  Riding. And he gave a little piece of his mind. And they, then they pulled him out of his car. It's really hard to fight guys with helmets on. You know Barstool?

• 47:06Speaker 01

  Really?

• 47:07Speaker 00

  Barstool got in a fight with a guy with a helmet on. Did you see that? We're all over the map right now. Barstool.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  What, what do you mean? The company?

• 47:15Speaker 00

  Delivery guy shows up with a helmet, starts talking a little sass at Barstool's to one of the ladies. Their security guard goes in and fucking beats the shit out of a guy with a helmet on.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  Really?

• 47:26Speaker 00

  And they have full video. It's Barstool. He walks into a media company, talking shit. Look at this, Tom.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  What?

• 47:32Speaker 00

  Look at this.

• 47:34Speaker 04

  Hey, hey, hey, hey, stop! Stop! Stop! Bro, stop! Stop! Oh my god!

• 47:42Speaker 01

  I mean, the helmet guy looks like he's doing pretty well.

• 47:45Speaker 00

  But hang on, watch this. Here we go.

• 47:48Speaker 04

  Hey, hey, stop!

• 47:49Speaker 00

  Okay, hang on. He gets, the security guy gets a black eye, but he gets, and he, but watch, here we go.

• 47:55Speaker 01

  Camera person's failing.

• 47:57Speaker 00

  There we go. Now it's gonna be.

• 47:59Speaker 04

  Stop!

• 48:01Speaker 00

  Remember, technically, these aren't athletes. These are people that just talk about athletes.

• 48:07Speaker 04

  He did not do anything first. What the fuck is your problem?

• 48:13Speaker 00

  By the way.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  What the fuck?

• 48:14Speaker 00

  Wait, can I tell you? Hold on.

• 48:15Speaker 01

  Wait, is this?

• 48:16Speaker 00

  This is the.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  How it starts?

• 48:17Speaker 00

  This is, this is the,

• 48:21Speaker 00

  the guy in the red shirt's my favorite.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  And, Jesus.

• 48:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is happening.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  Do you know how this fight started?

• 48:30Speaker 00

  Because he went up to the, he went to deliver food to the, one of the ladies at Barstool.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  And he was giving the guy, giving her attitude. Guy only knows this because Kevin Clancy covered it. And he was giving her attitude, giving her attitude. And then he started to walk out. She's like, wait, that's my food. And then he was like, fuck you, you don't get your food or whatever. And then what, the security guard walked up and was like, hey, man, can we please, like, and then the guy got in his face, fight started. All the Barstool guys came in. There's one guy, I wish, I can't remember his name right now, but he has the funniest video. If you keep playing, you'll see the guy in the red shirt. Scroll forward if you can. Okay, watch the guy in the red shirt. Hang on. Keep coming. I want to, I want to remember his name and I can't. Keep going. Watch the guy. You'll see a guy in the red shirt come in.

• 49:20Speaker 00

  Everyone's running. Everyone's running to help. Hold on, we know that guy. That's Francis, I think.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:27Speaker 00

  Okay, all the girls. Now, the guy in the red shirt goes, what the fuck? I think I'm gonna assess. He did a great breakdown of his part and he goes, oh yeah, fuck this. I'm not getting in a fight.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  Wow, he's terrified.

• 49:41Speaker 00

  He was, he had the best breakdown. This is his breakdown. Go to his breakdown. It's, it's, it's Tom. Go ahead. Go to his breakdown. His fucking circle. How I stopped a fight at Barstool.

• 49:52Speaker 05

  Very scary scene at the Barstool office today as we had a crazy Uber driver get into a fight with Gia and then attacked our security team, led to a big tussle. The most important thing to know is that I am safe, no bruises, and I have some footage here. I want to walk you through how I handled this situation nearly flawlessly. So you'll notice here, I notice a scuffle. I immediately run right into the line of fire. What's going on out there? I'm assessing the situation. I say, okay, such a situation looks pretty handled. Seems like they got it. Then I got a nasty itch in the back of my head. I said, let me back up. Let me secure the perimeter here. I'll make sure that maybe he's working in a team. Make sure there's nobody coming from the backside. Let me secure the perimeter right here. Make sure everyone's safe. Still assessing the situation. Assessing my ass off. Everything looks fine. And then I say, you know what? Actually, I'm gonna go back for more.

• 50:37Speaker 05

  Maybe this is still going on. I go back there. I say, what's so good? Are they still scuffling? Oh, yep, there, no, yeah, it seems like they're definitely still scuffling. Maybe back, there's no reason to get involved in this. I mean, make sure this desk is safely on that desk. Make sure that's all good. And, you know, just again, this is what we call monitoring a situation. And then I back up a little bit. I tell this girl, oh, get behind me. Get behind me. It's okay. Get behind me. Now, most people would have stopped there. Not this guy. I say, you know what, buddy? I want a little more. And this time, yep, I'm bringing my boys with me. Next thing you know, I've assembled a full crew to make sure that we had this situation monitored and handled.

• 51:11Speaker 00

  Look at all the guys at Barstool. Just watch it.

• 51:14Speaker 05

  And then taken out by the police. I bump in there. I mean, that guy's trying to hide behind me. He's like, I'm sending my mask.

• 51:21Speaker 01

  What I'd be interested in is the story from, I think it's Gia. Is that the name I think I saw? Like, her account of it.

• 51:27Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:28Speaker 01

  Because I bet she has the best account of what happened. See if you could find that. That would be the one.

• 51:37Speaker 00

  There you go.

• 51:40Speaker 00

  It's a media company. How does she not post?

• 51:43Speaker 01

  She must, right?

• 51:44Speaker 00

  No.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Really?

• 51:48Speaker 00

  I mean, you'd think there'd be a million accounts. How do you think that would have broke down at, at YMH?

• 51:54Speaker 01

  Man.

• 51:56Speaker 01

  That's a really good question.

• 51:59Speaker 00

  So the guy comes in and gives Tanner a little sass.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  Right.

• 52:04Speaker 00

  Tanner's like, Zolo!

• 52:09Speaker 01

  So Zolo helps him.

• 52:10Speaker 00

  Zolo comes out and goes, hey, hey, guys.

• 52:14Speaker 00

  Anyone need someone to fuck some other period?

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Zolo would go, hold on a second. Let me regroup and figure out what to do here. I think Annie would get involved. He would have to because he'd be like, I'm on camera.

• 52:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  I gotta look good on camera, man.

• 52:28Speaker 00

  Annie would have to get involved.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  He'd get involved. Rest of this app. Tyler, Tyler would be the guy in the red.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Tyler would go. And then he would just be like, I'm gonna go back over here. I think some of the, I think some of them would get involved.

• 52:44Speaker 00

  I bet if it was Birdy Boy.

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:47Speaker 00

  Leanne's the first one in the fight.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  In the fight, yeah.

• 52:49Speaker 00

  Oh, and then I would be the one going, stop it. Stop it. She didn't do anything to you. Someone call 911.

• 52:58Speaker 01

  That'd be you?

• 52:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. Women in a fight are exhausting. When you hear them and like, just stop touching him.

• 53:05Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Every fight you see on Instagram is just a woman yelling and screaming and then sometimes just screeching, no! And there's guys that are like fucking wailing on each other and you're like, you're not contributing anything here.

• 53:21Speaker 00

  It's so refreshing.

• 53:22Speaker 01

  And you're ruining the tape for all of us. That's the worst part. We all want to see this with a clean fucking feed.

• 53:27Speaker 00

  Can we agree as a society that when a woman starts a fight, she should get hit?

• 53:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:36Speaker 00

  I mean, I saw this, one of this lady fighting this waiter in the streets of New York and she jumped on his back. And other women were like, stop, walk away, sir. Walk away. And I was like, no, he deserves to light her up.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:50Speaker 00

  She punched him five times, threw a drink on him, climbed on his back, ripped his shirt off him. He hasn't hit her yet. And he's like, just, it's almost.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  That's a lot of self-discipline.

• 54:01Speaker 00

  It's, do you have it?

• 54:06Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 54:06Speaker 00

  Okay, let's, let's tie.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  No, I think I do.

• 54:09Speaker 00

  Hold on.

• 54:11Speaker 00

  So.

• 54:12Speaker 01

  I grew up with sisters.

• 54:13Speaker 00

  Hold on. Hang on. Let's see when it's socially acceptable for you to hit a woman. Punch her. I'm talking full.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  Like a full punch. Okay.

• 54:21Speaker 00

  Okay. You're backstage at, the PBR is the wrong place to do it. You're backstage at an N1 reunion show.

• 54:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 54:35Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  You're setting the scene.

• 54:36Speaker 00

  You have your boys with you.

• 54:37Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:39Speaker 00

  And a white chick with braids.

• 54:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:45Speaker 00

  Slaps one of your boys across the face.

• 54:47Speaker 01

  Dude, come on.

• 54:48Speaker 00

  You light her up.

• 54:49Speaker 01

  Of course. That's crazy. I think the only time it's permissible or permitted is if you're in defense of someone else or

• 55:02Speaker 01

  you're fighting for your life in some way. That's when it's acceptable, right? Like, it's acceptable if like, this woman is, has like, really harming somebody weaker.

• 55:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  Like a kid. Or, yeah, like, or, or if she's just like, really has an annoying voice.

• 55:20Speaker 00

  Okay, how about this? You're on a subway.

• 55:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:22Speaker 00

  You have both your boys with you.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 55:24Speaker 00

  And there's an older Asian lady and she's acting wildly crazy and flailing in front of your boys.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 00

  And threatening, not, not doing anything but threatening one of your children and your kid's scared. Can you just punch her and knock her out?

• 55:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think everything's so fucking, it's so like magnified when you're with your kids.

• 55:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:46Speaker 01

  Because I think your instinct is to retreat and like, get them out of there and protect. So it's, it's like, how much of an offense are you feeling from them?

• 55:57Speaker 00

  Well, it's your, it's your natural instinct to be a protector. I remember one time there was a three-legged dachshund and it came up.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  Hold on, is she like Vietnamese, Korean? Because it influences how I feel.

• 56:10Speaker 00

  Vietnamese.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  I might have to deck her, just for my dad. Yeah.

• 56:13Speaker 00

  Just for your dad.

• 56:14Speaker 01

  For my dad, yeah.

• 56:17Speaker 00

  I mean, I kind of think sometimes of like, like, the scenario.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:23Speaker 00

  Like, how great it would be to get those props, you know?

• 56:28Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 56:29Speaker 00

  Like, just to, because like, cancel culture isn't real anymore, but there are things that are like wild when the internet takes the other side of.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:38Speaker 00

  Like, I was watching, there's a guy, I don't know his name. He's, I think he's in Austin. It's Matt McCusker. I think Matt McCusker's doing a podcast with him.

• 56:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:46Speaker 00

  They say, oh, you did it. You did his podcast.

• 56:48Speaker 01

  Oh, Chris.

• 56:49Speaker 00

  Chris, Chris.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:50Speaker 00

  Chris Williamson.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 00

  Chris Williamson was talking about cringe cancel.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  Cringe cancel?

• 56:58Speaker 00

  Cringe cancel is when people make fun of you in a cringey way and you get canceled because everyone goes, ugh, like cringe.

• 57:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 57:09Speaker 00

  So he was talking about two dudes who did a podcast and the guy said, I had three glasses of wine and I was out for four days. Do you see that clip?

• 57:21Speaker 01

  Mm-mm.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  Pull it up. Pull it. Diary of a CEO. Is that what it is? Is it really? You know what it is?

• 57:29Speaker 01

  It's a very popular podcast.

• 57:31Speaker 00

  Have you seen the clip? Does anyone know what I'm talking about? And, and then Chris said, it's called cringe culture when everyone mocks that guy for his point of view.

• 57:42Speaker 00

  And he talked to the guy who did, who mocked him. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:49Speaker 00

  This is it. Stephen Bartlett says a few.

• 57:52Speaker 06

  It's one of those areas where you don't understand the hidden cost until you really give it up for a while. And, and I think about my own relationship with drinking and I stopped drinking at 30 years old. I'm now 33. And I had just drank because I just drank. I'd never ran the experiment of just giving it up for a while. And I, and then like, I don't know, maybe I was at 31. I thought, you know, I'll have a drink again. Because now I could really A/B test it. I had a year of not drinking, decided to have a drink again. It ruined three days of my life. I had a couple of glasses of wine, didn't get drunk. It ruined three days of my life because of the domino effect it caused. So it meant that I got worse sleep that night. And then because I got worse sleep that night, I ate more poorly the next day because my, my dopamine system or whatever, the cortisol system was all messed up.

• 58:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:32Speaker 06

  And then I, I podcasted worse. I didn't go to the gym the, the day after, that, that day or the day after because of that. Because I felt really bad. I then slept worse. And I could track all of this on my WeChat, hashtag add, hashtag.

• 58:43Speaker 00

  This is exactly what I was saying at the beginning of this podcast. Is like, that is real. But I mean, it's not real. He's, you don't lose three days of your life.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:50Speaker 00

  But there is the mentality of holding on to perfection so much that you're losing touch with what it's like to be human again.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  So wait, he was mocked for this?

• 59:00Speaker 00

  Type up Chris Williamson cringe, cringe, cringe culture.

• 59:03Speaker 01

  Well, he's not the one who said it.

• 59:04Speaker 00

  Chris Williamson is British, right?

• 59:08Speaker 01

  No, well.

• 59:09Speaker 00

  Chris Williamson.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, it is, yes. But you're, do you want the guy who was just talking?

• 59:14Speaker 00

  So two guys.

• 59:16Speaker 01

  That was Stephen Bartlett talking.

• 59:17Speaker 00

  Right. Two guys did a podcast about that conversation.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 59:21Speaker 00

  And they said that Diary of a CEO and Stephen Bartlett were like watching two wizards talk about nothing.

• 59:29Speaker 01

  I got you. Okay.

• 59:31Speaker 00

  And so if this is, anyone that works for me will never find this, Tom.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 59:36Speaker 00

  So you better hope that it's Zolo.

• 59:40Speaker 00

  Can you go to Chris Williamson's Instagram today? Think he released it today.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 59:45Speaker 00

  I saw it today.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  All right.

• 59:48Speaker 00

  I like this guy, Chris Williamson, a lot. That's right. I want to call him Chris Willics. It's gonna be so hard to find. Two guys did a podcast about that interview and what? The thing that should be mocked about that Steven Bartlett and that other guy.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:04Speaker 00

  Is that? That guy believes that he lost three days of his life. That's what should be mocked, right? What's fascinating about what he's saying is there is this grind culture where they believe that sobriety is the, the, how to go to the next level. They're not wrong. These whoops that we have on these physical trackers change our perspective on health. And all of a sudden, a little bit of a hangover feels worse because you get your metrics. And then all of a sudden, you start looking at life like, God, I worked out so much better sober.

• 1:00:45Speaker 00

  I'm so much more around sober that now a few drinks, God, I'm gonna fuck tomorrow up. And that is, I think that fucks up good life, like good life, you know?

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:56Speaker 00

  And you don't, you're not, you, you've, the problem is you're not someone that lives to the extremes. You've always lived in the middle. You always can have a drink of, you can have a glass of tequila with someone, even probably two, and not feel it at all the next day, not worry about your sleep, just go to bed. You did it when we were in Tampa. We had a few glasses of Porosos.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:16Speaker 00

  And you went to your hotel, you took a shower, you went to bed and you got up early and you did all your shit. And you weren't, you did not miss a step. I was with you at McDL at first base. You did not miss a step. You didn't complain about being hung over.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:28Speaker 00

  But there are people that get obsessed with their fitness trackers so much. And I think I started, when you go so sober for so long.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:36Speaker 00

  You get obsessed with that.

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  I think you're obsessed with.

• 1:01:38Speaker 00

  I think I'm obsessive compulsive.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Speaker 00

  And I think that I get to this place where like, I'm trying to get back into drinking, but I'm like.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  So crazy.

• 1:01:47Speaker 00

  I know, but I'm, but I'm not like, I'm having a hard time turning it over to go out and get fucked up. You've been with me.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:53Speaker 00

  Like, I don't, I can't.

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  No, you were not like you, you was not like you before.

• 1:01:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. But I think it's, I thought you were great, man.

• 1:02:00Speaker 00

  I think I'm just like, I, but I feel like I'm Superman and I, I get on planes now.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  Oh, you want to be Superman?

• 1:02:08Speaker 00

  I used to fly.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  No, I think you're looking at it all wrong.

• 1:02:12Speaker 00

  Can you, give me a fucking pump up speech.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  Dude, I think the last six months of.

• 1:02:19Speaker 00

  Seven.

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  Seven have been the best that I have seen you in so many ways for a long, long time. And it was, yeah, dude, you were way more present, way more involved with things, way less willing to hear any shit from anyone.

• 1:02:44Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, you were, but you were thoughtful, you were concise, and you were still fun. I think part of your thing is that you think you're not fun if you're not drinking, and it's not true.

• 1:02:55Speaker 00

  I think, I think what, the thing I miss the most is the, the like, the rip the towel off feeling of having a cocktail of like, fuck it, I wasn't gonna drink, let's drink.

• 1:03:08Speaker 01

  You know what the thing is though, dude? That, yeah, you say that, but.

• 1:03:12Speaker 00

  Seems a little more thoughtful these days.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you still have a, you still have a rip the towel off energy without it. That's your natural energy. You still walk into a room with rip the towel off. You don't have to have it.

• 1:03:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's in you.

• 1:03:31Speaker 00

  I think so. I think I just, I think it's, I think it's been such a transition. I, I think I, all the trauma that happened to me, you know, with getting the blood clot, bus burning down, dog dying, girls going to college, and then all of a sudden, all of it just showed up on my front door one day. And I was like, I was like, dude, I, I didn't process any of it. I just quit drinking.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:50Speaker 00

  I didn't process any of the shit that happened to me.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  That's a really good thing to, to know. And then you know, you have to, you can't just go, I haven't processed it. Now you have to actually work at processing it.

• 1:04:03Speaker 00

  I'm doing it in therapy.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's great, man. That's how you do it. That scared the fuck out of me.

• 1:04:09Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:04:13Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:04:15Speaker 00

  Oh, this, oh, this is the guy. This is the guy. This is the guy. You found it.

• 1:04:19Speaker 07

  I've been kind of obsessed with this, this idea that I heard this week of a cringe cancellation. So you can cancel somebody because they did something illegal. You can cancel somebody because they said something reprehensible or whatever it is. But there's a much more pernicious type of cancellation, which is, I think, what people are attempting to use comedians for, which is, I want you to make this person's brand equity so toxic to be associated with.

• 1:04:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, wow.

• 1:04:42Speaker 07

  That they become cringe canceled.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Speaker 07

  And this maybe not even.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  He's what he's saying is if you get mocked enough, right? Like, if you, if somebody makes fun of something about you enough, then that can be all that's associated with you.

• 1:04:58Speaker 00

  So then what do you see online? If I can point your comedic talents to something that makes you cringe? Like, uh, people, I'll tell you what makes me cringe that I wish I could, I could cringe cancel.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:10Speaker 00

  Is, uh, people who their brand is sobriety on Instagram. Like, their brand is their sobriety. They have a podcast about sobriety. They talk about sobriety.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  You are so obsessed with this topic.

• 1:05:25Speaker 00

  I am.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  You are so obsessed with this.

• 1:05:27Speaker 00

  I am, I'm obsessed with, I'm obsessed with, I follow a couple people, Tom. I sent you one. Do you remember the one I sent you about the lunatic in, in Miami? And then I said, dude, check this out. And then she blocked me.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  I don't remember this.

• 1:05:41Speaker 00

  Oh, I, it's in our, it's on our chat. And then, and then I'm obsessed with this other guy. He doesn't know that I follow him. He doesn't know who I am. And he's in and out of rehab every fucking day. And you can almost, and when he goes into rehab, he's like, God, such a head on his shoulders. And then immediately he's like, dude, fuck this Burger King rehab. They fucking suck. I'm going out and getting my dick sucked by whores. I'm gonna get some smokes and crack. I'm obsessed with all that. But I think that's what feeds in my algorithm too.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  Those, um, those guys who are like, here's how you, here's how you like win the day, you know, maximize time and like, you gotta, you gotta sleep three hours. Like those like kind of male coaches, business guys, they're super cringey. And they get made fun of a lot, as they should, because it's a, it's a very artificial thing they do. Like, it's not an authentic thing.

• 1:06:32Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  That's why they're, that's why they're being made fun of, I think, the most is that it reads like, yeah, this is, this is a performance.

• 1:06:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  But you're trying to sell it like it's really you. You know, I get up at three and I fucking, I run my six miles. And if you don't have abs, you're a bitch. And you're just like, what?

• 1:06:50Speaker 00

  Everyone's got abs.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, everyone's got abs here. It's like, it's such nonsense. So they get, they do, they are, I mean, I don't know that those guys are quite at the, where they are canceled.

• 1:06:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  But they're, they give you, they give the fodder for, for being mocked every day, as they fucking should.

• 1:07:05Speaker 00

  Dude, it's, it's hysterical when you see them like, show you what their day is and they're like, and it starts with an alarm clock and it's like 4:23 and it's alarm clock and you see them get out of bed and you realize they put their phone on a tripod and filmed themselves.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:23Speaker 00

  Getting up a second time.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:25Speaker 00

  To show them get out of bed the first time.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  And then they're like, stop, move the thing.

• 1:07:29Speaker 00

  Then they go into the, into the kitchen and then they film themselves getting a scoop of honey.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:07:34Speaker 00

  And then.

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  Fuck, that didn't go well. Get a new bowl, fucking angle the light, boop.

• 1:07:39Speaker 00

  And then they're putting Band-Aids on their nipples for the second time. And then they film themselves running, which I've done.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:46Speaker 00

  It's hysterical to film yourself running because you have to put a camera somewhere, run backwards and then run.

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:52Speaker 00

  It's the opposite of running. It's you're running backwards to run forwards and then grab the camera. They never show them editing the, and then my favorite is like, at like 11, like 10 in the morning, they sit down to work and you just see them at a table.

• 1:08:04Speaker 01

  Going like.

• 1:08:05Speaker 00

  In front of a laptop like, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut. And like, what are you selling?

• 1:08:09Speaker 01

  And then they have someone to bring something to them.

• 1:08:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's so fucking great.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm handling calls, doing business.

• 1:08:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  The cringiest thing in life is when a guy, it's usually a guy, does a, um, a business call where he's muscling someone. So what he's doing is he's letting everybody know that he doesn't take any shit.

• 1:08:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  That, I've seen that in real life. And I think that's what, like when a guy's like, I don't give a fuck who they think they are. Tell them I'll fuck them up. Send that shit to me right fucking now. And you're just like, who, you're doing this here in the lobby? Like, go to your room, man. It's, it's such a, it's such a fake flex of like, you don't fuck with me. It's like, you know, we all know.

• 1:08:54Speaker 00

  When they do that in the lobby of Marriott and they got their, their earpieces in, they're like, who? Put them on.

• 1:09:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:00Speaker 00

  It's the fucking greatest.

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:03Speaker 00

  What? Oh, I thought they said, oh, they thought they gave us the name.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 1:09:08Speaker 00

  Did you see, have you seen the Michael Jackson documentary or movie?

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  Movie, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah.

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  There's a lot, there's actors who are cringe. We can't talk about them.

• 1:09:19Speaker 00

  Oh, let's do it.

• 1:09:20Speaker 01

  No, you can't.

• 1:09:20Speaker 00

  Let's do it, just bleep them out. First of all, I can't tell you, and I'm not saying, I'm not talking about us. I know we're actors.

• 1:09:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:26Speaker 00

  The majority of actors are kind of cringe.

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, for, for real.

• 1:09:30Speaker 00

  It's a crazy job.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  It's, here's the thing. It's the same thing in what makes you cringe in an actor is what makes you cringe from these online people. It's the, the inability to be authentic. A cringey person is like a phony and a cringey actor is one whom you don't believe, right? When you watch someone and you're like, ugh. It's just, it's the, the thing that makes you go like, Jesus, is that you're like, I don't believe you. What you're doing isn't reading as the real emotion or intention, right?

• 1:10:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:02Speaker 01

  So it's the same thing. And that's why authenticity always works. Like, you don't hate, um, a, a business coach, or a sobriety coach, or any of those, who's like the real deal.

• 1:10:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  Because it, it reads, you hate the performative ones who, I, like, it's their whole identity and they're just, they're inauthentic.

• 1:10:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:10:24Speaker 01

  It makes you go like, this is gross. And it's the same thing with an actor. You're like, ugh, I don't believe this at all.

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  It's, it is bizarre to think that some of our favorite actors in the world were, like, that we thought were men.

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:40Speaker 00

  Like, they just weren't. They were just guys who looked in the mirror a lot.

• 1:10:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I, I'll, I'll tip my hat. When you find one who you're like, if you've discovered someone in a movie, you're like, that motherfucker's a badass. And then you see him in an interview and it's like, a, like, their real persona and they're totally not like that. Then I go, this is a, that's a great fucking actor.

• 1:11:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  You know, somebody who tricks you.

• 1:11:02Speaker 00

  Okay, so let's break down actors that we love, that we think are the person they say they're gonna be in all the movies. Number one, Benicio Del Toro.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  Oh, he's a fantastic actor.

• 1:11:14Speaker 00

  But he is, okay, so let's, across the board, possibly one of the best actors.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:21Speaker 00

  Across the board.

• 1:11:22Speaker 01

  Oh, he's fucking dynamite, dude.

• 1:11:23Speaker 00

  And, and in real life?

• 1:11:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:26Speaker 00

  I think he's still that guy.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  I think he's probably a fucking awesome dude. That's my take on him, but I don't know him.

• 1:11:33Speaker 00

  I don't know him at all. I want to meet him because I want to find out if he's that guy. Like, cool, kind of smoky, kind of just holds his words back, assesses the room. Like, I wonder if it's because he's big, because he was always a man, right?

• 1:11:46Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:11:47Speaker 00

  And he's Puerto Rican, so like, then not everyone's very big in his culture.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's a big dude.

• 1:11:50Speaker 00

  He's like the tallest guy in the fucking.

• 1:11:51Speaker 01

  How tall is he?

• 1:11:52Speaker 00

  He's like six eight.

• 1:11:55Speaker 01

  How tall is he, by the way?

• 1:11:56Speaker 00

  How tall is Benicio Del Toro? Please say he's over six foot.

• 1:11:59Speaker 01

  Oh, he's gotta be, dude.

• 1:12:00Speaker 00

  He's six six.

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  No, but he's gotta be.

• 1:12:02Speaker 00

  Benicio Del Toro is no way under six three.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  Six two.

• 1:12:06Speaker 00

  No. Look at that fucking face.

• 1:12:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, it's a handsome guy, dude.

• 1:12:13Speaker 00

  Like, I think if he started an OnlyFans and just started piping jigs.

• 1:12:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:19Speaker 00

  How fucking great would that be?

• 1:12:21Speaker 01

  Now? He's just doing that now. He's like, done with movies.

• 1:12:24Speaker 00

  I'll flip ya. I'll flip ya.

• 1:12:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I think he's fucking amazing, dude.

• 1:12:29Speaker 00

  All right.

• 1:12:29Speaker 01

  What a great actor.

• 1:12:30Speaker 00

  So Benicio Del Toro, same as guy as guy as guy. He's like.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  I just think, well, what I'm saying is, I just think he is so good at what he does that you believe him in everything he does. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:12:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  Whatever the role is, you believe it because he really becomes that.

• 1:12:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. And I think that's what we love about comedic actors is, you know, they're goofy, lighthearted fools.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:52Speaker 00

  And then when you get like the man's man actor, like Denzel, I think Denzel has to be as cool off as on.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  I like this era of Denzel, meaning like over 70, where he's like, look, I've done fucking, like, he's done everything and he has no zero filter now. So like, he doesn't even pretend, because you realize you have to kind of, you have to do the thing when you go to like, you know, promote, no. And like, now he's just like, cut the bullshit. That's how he is in every interview now. I think it's, it's awesome.

• 1:13:28Speaker 00

  Delroy Lindo.

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  He's awesome, dude.

• 1:13:31Speaker 00

  Man's man, like the Danny Glover.

• 1:13:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's awesome.

• 1:13:35Speaker 00

  Like, it's, okay, so then, if we're, who are the ones that you think, like, now I'm gonna throw out some wild names, okay?

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:13:42Speaker 00

  And this is a safe place because I know his children.

• 1:13:44Speaker 01

  Who's the, who was the guy Sam, what was the Sam?

• 1:13:47Speaker 00

  Rockwell?

• 1:13:48Speaker 01

  No, the older guy. Didn't he just?

• 1:13:51Speaker 00

  Oh, Sam Harris. No, Sam.

• 1:13:54Speaker 01

  What is it?

• 1:13:55Speaker 00

  The guy with the mustache?

• 1:13:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. Is it Richardson? Oh, Elliott.

• 1:14:00Speaker 00

  Sam Elliott.

• 1:14:00Speaker 01

  That guy. That's a fucking, that's a real man.

• 1:14:05Speaker 00

  Harrison Ford, Tom Selleck.

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  Love Harrison Ford. Tom Selleck, he's great. Yes.

• 1:14:11Speaker 00

  These are like the men's men of actors.

• 1:14:14Speaker 01

  And you know what's cool about him is that he.

• 1:14:18Speaker 00

  Look at him in that fucking James purse.

• 1:14:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:22Speaker 00

  Look at him. Look at his biceps, look at his forearms, look at his watch, look at his fucking face.

• 1:14:28Speaker 01

  No, he's awesome. And he's at this, in this photo, he's fucking like 80.

• 1:14:33Speaker 00

  He's 80 years old and he's fucking, he'd still build a house.

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  Build a house, flies planes, has crashed twice.

• 1:14:40Speaker 00

  Fuck Callista Hark, fluck.

• 1:14:44Speaker 01

  And not only does he smoke weed, he used to sell it. So you know he's a fucking fun hang.

• 1:14:48Speaker 00

  Okay, now we're gonna get into some sacred territory.

• 1:14:53Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:14:54Speaker 00

  And we're not bleeping any words out.

• 1:14:55Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:14:56Speaker 00

  Your best friend, Brad Pitt. Is he? Now, hold on. No, because he's not that generation we talked about. He's younger than all those guys. He's probably, what, 56?

• 1:15:07Speaker 01

  63.

• 1:15:08Speaker 00

  He's not 63.

• 1:15:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:10Speaker 00

  BP's 63?

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  62.

• 1:15:12Speaker 00

  Shut the fuck up.

• 1:15:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:15Speaker 00

  Now, is BP, is he, is he an actor or is he a man who acts? Is he an actor who acts like a man or is he a man who acts like an actor? Wait, I got confused.

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  I'm confused at what you're asking.

• 1:15:34Speaker 00

  Yes. Is he, okay, is he like Denzel Delroy, fucking Danny Glover, fucking James Edward Almost, fucking, uh, Ryan Garcia, not Ryan Garcia, Rich Garcia, Jerry Garcia, fucking Vinnie Garcia, what's his name? Fucking, come on, guys.

• 1:15:50Speaker 01

  Andy Garcia?

• 1:15:50Speaker 00

  Andy Garcia.

• 1:15:51Speaker 01

  Andy Garcia.

• 1:15:54Speaker 00

  Is BP, is George Clooney like those guys?

• 1:15:59Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:16:00Speaker 00

  Look at Andy Garcia. I met Andy Garcia. He was, he was taking acting classes with my next door neighbor. Isn't that crazy?

• 1:16:07Speaker 01

  He was?

• 1:16:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  Andy Garcia's.

• 1:16:10Speaker 00

  I'm not sure it was Andy Garcia. Now that I say that story, like, I tell a story sometimes and it, it reads for me and I just go with it. And then as I, as I recount it, I go, why was Andy Garcia taking acting classes?

• 1:16:21Speaker 01

  Andy Garcia was like, just trying to figure this shit out still. Like, that's cool, man.

• 1:16:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a crazy ass. Pass me that lighter.

• 1:16:28Speaker 01

  Ed Harris?

• 1:16:29Speaker 00

  Ed Harris. Do you see what Ed Harris did to the fucking 666 Ranch?

• 1:16:34Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:16:34Speaker 00

  I'm trying my best to think fast. These are the words coming. Did you see what Ed Harris, they go, hey, you're in the new, uh, Taylor Sheridan movie?

• 1:16:43Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:16:43Speaker 00

  And Ed Harris is like, fuck them. I thought they promised me it. It wasn't it. Fuck them.

• 1:16:48Speaker 01

  No, he, he, he shit on the experience. I saw that. He was like, it was kind of bold, right? He was like, they told me I was gonna be doing this and that. I feel like I totally underutilized. They made me like, train to sing and then, uh, they cut the singing out. So I went and sang on the show and then they cut it out. Yeah, that was, you know, you have to be that level to fucking say that on a red carpet.

• 1:17:14Speaker 00

  About Taylor Sheridan?

• 1:17:16Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:17:16Speaker 00

  Taylor Sheridan, Taylor Sheridan. So every generation, someone has to reinvent Hollywood, right? This is Taylor Sheridan's generation. He has reinvented television and streaming into viral fucking shows that are undeniable.

• 1:17:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:30Speaker 00

  By the way, I'm gonna say this.

• 1:17:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:31Speaker 00

  No lie.

• 1:17:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:32Speaker 00

  And I, this, people can give me shit if they want. Taylor Sheridan is the real deal. Like, he's a, he can really run cattle, fucking brand them, slaughter them, ride horses. He's, he's the real deal.

• 1:17:46Speaker 01

  I, I actually don't know.

• 1:17:47Speaker 00

  I met him one time. He ordered wine like he was the real deal.

• 1:17:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:51Speaker 00

  He was fucking, he was cool as shit. I was next to Rogan. And Rogan's a real guy.

• 1:17:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, for sure.

• 1:17:57Speaker 00

  Rogan's a legit real guy.

• 1:18:00Speaker 01

  Definitely. I agree with that. Um.

• 1:18:02Speaker 00

  Keep going into actors.

• 1:18:03Speaker 01

  I've never seen, I've never seen any of his shows, but I did see.

• 1:18:06Speaker 00

  Are you serious?

• 1:18:07Speaker 01

  I've never seen any of his shows. I've never seen any shows. I'm being honest.

• 1:18:11Speaker 00

  Wow. He is, his shows are, I mean, it's Leanne's favorite shows. I've never seen one either, but.

• 1:18:16Speaker 01

  Oh, please.

• 1:18:18Speaker 00

  But I've heard they're good.

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:20Speaker 00

  What? Just go with me.

• 1:18:21Speaker 01

  Okay, fine. Um.

• 1:18:23Speaker 00

  Look, I'm not the real deal, Tom. I'm just Burt.

• 1:18:25Speaker 01

  I got it, I got it. Um. Go ahead.

• 1:18:29Speaker 00

  Billy Bob Thornton.

• 1:18:30Speaker 01

  Man.

• 1:18:31Speaker 00

  Real deal. Real deal.

• 1:18:33Speaker 01

  I don't think there's a fucking guy that's more fun to watch on camera than Billy Bob Thornton, dude. I fucking love watching. You know what I rewatched the other night? I was out of nowhere. I rewatched.

• 1:18:45Speaker 00

  Do you want me to pretend, listen, or just tell you my story?

• 1:18:48Speaker 01

  Pretend, listen. I was watching Burn After Reading again.

• 1:18:52Speaker 00

  I've never seen that with Brad Pitts in it.

• 1:18:55Speaker 01

  You've never seen that?

• 1:18:56Speaker 00

  He's wearing the red shirt?

• 1:18:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's the trainer.

• 1:18:57Speaker 00

  I just saw, I just saw something, Bert, you should watch this. Yesterday I said that.

• 1:19:03Speaker 01

  It's, I had not seen it in years and I've seen it a couple of times and I was like, would I enjoy watching this again? I think I would. And it was such a fucking fun ride. All the performances are incredible in it. Clooney, Pitt, J.K. Simmons, Tilda Swinton, oh my God, what's her name? Frances McDormand.

• 1:19:22Speaker 00

  She's amazing.

• 1:19:23Speaker 01

  Malkovich is fucking, it's, it's so goddamn good, dude.

• 1:19:28Speaker 00

  Oh, let's play this game.

• 1:19:30Speaker 01

  You have to fucking watch this movie. It is so funny. It's so fucking funny. You'd love this movie.

• 1:19:36Speaker 00

  Do I get to tell my story now?

• 1:19:39Speaker 01

  I've been thinking of, you know, I've been getting into lately is fragrances.

• 1:19:43Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:19:44Speaker 01

  Are you?

• 1:19:45Speaker 00

  Absolutely pivoted into this conversation.

• 1:19:47Speaker 01

  Have you, have you ever done like a dive into it? I've never really actually, like, all I've known is like, yeah, people were, and then I learned about how a fragrance actually works, how there's hook notes, heart notes, bass notes. This is like the scent you first take in and then what kind of like stays there and then what the, the, kind of like the foundation of it is and how it changes culture to culture. Like I had this conversation with a Jordanian guy about.

• 1:20:20Speaker 00

  They love fragrances.

• 1:20:21Speaker 01

  Dude, the Middle East is so intense with their fragrances.

• 1:20:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, why?

• 1:20:26Speaker 01

  I don't know why, but I know that like the application of the fragrances there is much heavier. They love oud, like that's.

• 1:20:37Speaker 00

  Oud, oh yeah, I know oud.

• 1:20:38Speaker 01

  Oud is like, but that's very like, people are palate sensitive, there's certain scent, like some people like musk or sandalwood.

• 1:20:45Speaker 00

  Tell Kyle to bring up my fragrances that are downstairs.

• 1:20:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:20:48Speaker 00

  This is a great line of conversation.

• 1:20:50Speaker 01

  It was fa, it's a fascinating thing. It's like somebody goes, I'll have a glass of wine and then you meet somebody who knows wine and you kind of go like, oh shit. And then they're explained to you, well, this is made in Argentina and here's why. And this is the type of, you know, you get a Malbec and it pairs with this. And then you, then you have the pairing and you're like, holy shit. That really, that really is amazing when you pair it like that. And you're like, they're like, yeah, of course. And you go, oh, if you actually dive into something, it kind of is fascinating. I'm more fascinated by the fact that culturally around the world, like people's noses are like leaning towards certain things and not something else.

• 1:21:29Speaker 00

  Stop, stop, stop. That is the most informative thing I've ever said or gotten since Balthazar Getty texted me yesterday and said, FYI, Indians and black people lived in ancient Greece.

• 1:21:42Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:21:42Speaker 00

  He texted me, he must have seen two bears. I was like, there's an Indian guy. I didn't say anything. He's like, FYI, Indian people and black people lived in ancient Greece.

• 1:21:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:21:52Speaker 00

  Please. And I know people in the comments are gonna be like, God, it seems like Tom's talking nonstop. You never told your story about Billy Bob Thornton. Please tell me.

• 1:22:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:00Speaker 00

  Cause I'm fascinated in different areas of the world have different scents that they are drawn to.

• 1:22:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:08Speaker 00

  Tell me more.

• 1:22:09Speaker 01

  Well, did you know also that like the fragrance people, where they tell you to apply is that most people go the in, like the whole thing is they apply here. And you know what they say you're supposed to do? You're supposed to play on top of your hand. And do you know why?

• 1:22:22Speaker 00

  So if you slap a woman?

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  Sort of, but you also gesture all day. And when you gesture, you're waving, otherwise you're burying it underneath and you're pushing it down. It's interesting, right?

• 1:22:34Speaker 00

  Bring me my fragrance.

• 1:22:36Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:22:37Speaker 00

  So I got really into fragrances.

• 1:22:39Speaker 01

  You did?

• 1:22:40Speaker 00

  It was after seeing a Sebastian show.

• 1:22:42Speaker 01

  Sebastian loves his fragrances.

• 1:22:44Speaker 00

  He has a fragrance for the front of him and the back.

• 1:22:46Speaker 01

  I think that's called layering. Yeah, of course. What do you have there?

• 1:22:50Speaker 00

  This is, it's, I think it's all Tom Ford.

• 1:22:54Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:22:55Speaker 00

  So Tom Ford, this is the one, I like the color. I liked the color of the bottle.

• 1:23:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:23:01Speaker 00

  But that's my favorite smell.

• 1:23:02Speaker 01

  So here's what you do now. Okay. Are you ready to Google? Yes. Type in Tom Ford Mandarin di Amalfi notes.

• 1:23:13Speaker 00

  So now I'll tell you why I like it. Cause it reminds me of fresh, open, unbuttoned shirt, the ocean.

• 1:23:21Speaker 01

  Yes. So okay, now you wanna see, look how it's made. It's made with lemon, grapefruit, mint, basil, tarragon, black. Those are the top notes. The middle notes, orange blossom, jasmine, clary sage, she's no coriander and black pepper. And then the base notes, like what kind of sticks through the day with it? Musk, which is a very powerful scent that you find across a lot of fragrances. Vetiver amber, lab denim and civet. Like I don't know what half of these are, but.

• 1:23:50Speaker 00

  I don't know either.

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  This is, it does feel like an open shirt.

• 1:23:54Speaker 00

  It does, doesn't it?

• 1:23:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:23:55Speaker 00

  That's what I smelled. It feels like an open shirt.

• 1:23:58Speaker 01

  And it's a good, it feels like you're on vacation.

• 1:24:00Speaker 00

  I love the citrus, grapefruit, lemon, mint, basil. I love jasmine. I love orange blossom. I love sage. I remember the first time I smelled sage.

• 1:24:11Speaker 01

  And they hit like the description. I like it too, cause it says bright citrus and then warm, earthy bass notes.

• 1:24:16Speaker 00

  Wow. Okay. Do this one. Tom Ford Costa Azura. Here, tell me this one.

• 1:24:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:24:25Speaker 00

  I don't remember what that one smells like.

• 1:24:27Speaker 01

  Okay. Hold on. I'm not even gonna look. Let's see.

• 1:24:30Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:24:32Speaker 01

  It's definitely, it's way different.

• 1:24:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, right?

• 1:24:35Speaker 01

  Yes. So what do you have? Cypress lemon and oak wood?

• 1:24:42Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 1:24:42Speaker 01

  You have incense, vanilla.

• 1:24:45Speaker 00

  I love vanilla.

• 1:24:46Speaker 01

  Oak.

• 1:24:48Speaker 00

  Myrtle? Like I was in great Myrtle.

• 1:24:50Speaker 01

  But it is coastal evergreens and deep woods, buddy.

• 1:24:55Speaker 00

  Let me see that one. Now let me, so I got, when I was in Paris with Leanne.

• 1:25:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:04Speaker 00

  I went into a place, I went.

• 1:25:08Speaker 00

  I like, maybe I'll start wearing scents.

• 1:25:10Speaker 01

  I mean, it's a fun, I bet you're gonna get real obsessive. What's the, what's the last one?

• 1:25:16Speaker 00

  I don't know. I think this is a sponsor. So I was nervous to wear it.

• 1:25:20Speaker 01

  You were?

• 1:25:20Speaker 00

  I was nervous to bring it up.

• 1:25:21Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:25:22Speaker 00

  I think that's, what is that one? Macau?

• 1:25:26Speaker 01

  M A C E O O?

• 1:25:30Speaker 00

  Let me see, E O O.

• 1:25:32Speaker 01

  And then it's La Folie. If you type a, yeah. Do La Folie, F O L I E de, no, no, you gotta keep, de apostrophe.

• 1:25:51Speaker 00

  There's more.

• 1:25:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, there is. Okay. Okay. Oh, that's a whole.

• 1:25:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:25:59Speaker 00

  This might be from a famous person.

• 1:26:01Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:26:02Speaker 00

  Cause you know, I got into buying the scents of famous people.

• 1:26:06Speaker 01

  What does it say though? Oh, they're not shared. Hmm. Okay. So this was given to you?

• 1:26:15Speaker 00

  So I got into buying scents of famous dudes.

• 1:26:21Speaker 01

  Oh, you find out what the dude wore?

• 1:26:22Speaker 00

  Well, I was in Paris with Leanne and we went into this place and the guy was like, do you wear cologne? And I said, no, I don't. I said, if I go to a Sebastian show, but that's about it. And he said, and he said, oh, we have some great, some of the oldest colognes in, in Paris. I said, you have the one Napoleon wore? And he goes, as a matter of fact, we do.

• 1:26:43Speaker 01

  I think I remember you mentioning this.

• 1:26:45Speaker 00

  And I was like, shut up. And so I bought Napoleon's cologne and I liked it. And then I went home and I bought Elvis. I bought JFK. I bought Winston Churchill.

• 1:26:55Speaker 01

  This is what's gonna, yeah, you're gonna really like this out.

• 1:26:58Speaker 00

  And I was like, and I would, and I would say tonight's kind of like a JFK night.

• 1:27:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:03Speaker 00

  And I'd pump it on. Elvis was aggressive.

• 1:27:07Speaker 01

  Was it?

• 1:27:07Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. It smelled like Elvis.

• 1:27:11Speaker 01

  Isn't that cool though? Here's what I like about it is, is the fact that you could spray that and be like, oh yeah, this is, this makes sense that this is what, this is him.

• 1:27:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:27:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:20Speaker 00

  And JFK's was, JFK's was crisp. It felt like a rich, upper crust guy.

• 1:27:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:26Speaker 00

  Napoleon's was really bright. I liked Napoleon's a lot.

• 1:27:31Speaker 01

  What is really fun, and this is in my limited, like just learning a little bit about this. I think it's fascinating, not just to find what you like, but what you hate. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:27:42Speaker 00

  Uh, I hate the ones that Uber drivers wear. They smell like a gerbil's cage.

• 1:27:48Speaker 01

  I, I smelled one that my description of it, I was like, oh, this smells like a cheap candle. Like, like somebody gave you, I was like, this is expensive? Like this smells like a shitty candle. And that really fucking threw me off.

• 1:28:03Speaker 00

  Here's where we're gonna ask you to comment in the comments.

• 1:28:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:06Speaker 00

  How many pumps of cologne does a man put on?

• 1:28:12Speaker 01

  What you're supposed to. We already know what some people do. So just tell us what you think you're supposed to. Also, if you have insight into this, I would like to know.

• 1:28:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:28:22Speaker 01

  I would like to know if you're like, oh, I'm from whatever, the Caribbean or South America, we like this. In Europe, we like this. That I think is super interesting.

• 1:28:34Speaker 00

  Are these famous colognes? See, here's the thing. I, I, I would argue, I would argue colognes, I don't, I don't know if, I don't know if a celebrity, like Tom Ford knows what he likes, right? He's, his colognes do very well.

• 1:28:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:50Speaker 00

  But I don't know if like Brad Pitt should do a cologne. I know Johnny Depp did Savage.

• 1:28:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's just endorsements, right?

• 1:28:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. I don't know if you should ever tether yourself to a cologne. Cause unless you wear it all the time.

• 1:29:02Speaker 01

  The crazy thing is the power of like a Brad Pitt. Because if he was just like, I wear this.

• 1:29:08Speaker 00

  Everyone would wear it.

• 1:29:09Speaker 01

  It would go, it would skyrocket.

• 1:29:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:29:11Speaker 01

  Just because they're like, Brad Pitt wears this. Yeah.

• 1:29:15Speaker 00

  I like, I'd like to know what Brad Pitt is musk by Loren's personal signature scent.

• 1:29:22Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:29:24Speaker 00

  Chanel number five. What's the most famous cologne ever?

• 1:29:29Speaker 01

  That's a pretty popular one, I think.

• 1:29:30Speaker 00

  Chanel number five?

• 1:29:31Speaker 01

  I mean, I think so. Remember Drakkar?

• 1:29:34Speaker 00

  Dude, hold on. Nothing smells better than Drakkar Noir or Obsession for a man.

• 1:29:40Speaker 01

  What I remember is that for me, when I was in seventh grade, it probably came out before then, but when I was in seventh grade, so you would have been like, I don't know, just out of college. You had just graduated FSU and I'm in seventh grade. And what I remember is never, my memory is just never having thought about it.

• 1:30:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:02Speaker 01

  Somebody had it and I was like, yo.

• 1:30:04Speaker 00

  Do you remember his name? Do you remember his name?

• 1:30:05Speaker 01

  He has Mark DiStefano. And, and, and then also your hormones are changing and then you're like, this smells good. Oh, girls will like this.

• 1:30:13Speaker 00

  Dude.

• 1:30:14Speaker 01

  And you get it and you're like, you feel, first of all, you felt like a man. You felt like, I guess I'm kind of sophisticated.

• 1:30:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:30:20Speaker 01

  And like, mom, I need you to take me to get some Drakkar right now.

• 1:30:23Speaker 00

  Drakkar was the best.

• 1:30:24Speaker 01

  It was the best, yeah.

• 1:30:25Speaker 00

  Drakkar Noir.

• 1:30:26Speaker 01

  That has to be one of the most successful ones of all time.

• 1:30:29Speaker 00

  That and Obsession by Calvin Klein. Calvin Klein.

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  CK1, right?

• 1:30:33Speaker 00

  Go to Calvin Klein Obsession.

• 1:30:35Speaker 01

  I thought it was CK1 that was even more, maybe it was Obsession.

• 1:30:37Speaker 00

  Do you remember that bottle? Calvin Klein Obsession.

• 1:30:40Speaker 01

  That was for men? That was a men's fragrance?

• 1:30:42Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Dude, ninth grade, Sean Hooker was like, uh, what are you wearing tonight? And I was like, just a shirt. And he was like, no, Drakkar Noir Obsession. And I was like, I had no idea.

• 1:30:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:54Speaker 00

  And came in, Lazada put on Drakkar Noir, Sean Hooker put on Drakkar and I was like, I smelled it. And I, I'm being serious when I say this.

• 1:31:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:31:02Speaker 00

  I smelled it and I liked it.

• 1:31:03Speaker 01

  You did.

• 1:31:04Speaker 00

  And I was like, dude, that smells cool. And they're like, yeah, it's how you get pussy. And I went.

• 1:31:12Speaker 01

  Were they like chill on the sprays?

• 1:31:14Speaker 00

  They're like two more.

• 1:31:17Speaker 00

  And man, we rolled into a party like, like we were selling this shit.

• 1:31:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's pretty cool.

• 1:31:21Speaker 00

  And that was the best smell I'd ever had. The Polo one that they just saw, I remember we got that, but

• 1:31:31Speaker 00

  a rat died in our walls and

• 1:31:35Speaker 00

  my sister Annie just sprayed the Polo all over it. So anytime I smell Polo, I think of a rat dying on our back bathroom walls.

• 1:31:43Speaker 01

  Oh. Well, you, we used, I was Google, what are the most successful like fragrances of all time? I, I'm, I have, I have to see these.

• 1:31:57Speaker 01

  CK1.

• 1:31:58Speaker 00

  CK1?

• 1:31:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. Aqua by Georgia Dior Savage. Wow.

• 1:32:04Speaker 01

  That's pretty crazy.

• 1:32:06Speaker 00

  Now, what, now, I don't think I know.

• 1:32:08Speaker 01

  Oh, but the most sold is Chanel number five. Yeah.

• 1:32:10Speaker 00

  Ralphie May bought Leanne Jo Malone. Jo Malone?

• 1:32:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. That's a fragrance maker too, yeah.

• 1:32:18Speaker 00

  And man, that shit smelled incredible.

• 1:32:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. They have, they have a whole bunch of stuff they put out. Yeah.

• 1:32:24Speaker 00

  Ralphie May bought her, like, you know, Ralphie was a really interesting guy. He was

• 1:32:27Speaker 01

  Generous too.

• 1:32:28Speaker 00

  Generous. And he, and he found out like Leanne liked Jo Malone. And I don't, I think, I think I'm a very simple scent guy. Like, I don't want, like, here's my theory about scents.

• 1:32:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:40Speaker 00

  And I've, I've shared this with Kyle who oversends. I told him, I said, I don't want you to put on enough cologne for both of us. Just put it on for you and then we should only smell you when we get close to you.

• 1:32:51Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 1:32:51Speaker 00

  We shouldn't smell like, oh, Kyle's coming.

• 1:32:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:54Speaker 00

  Like, that's how Kyle puts on cologne. He said, seven pumps. Kyle, come up if you, if you disagree. Seven pumps.

• 1:33:02Speaker 00

  Do you hear him yelling downstairs? Yelling downstairs.

• 1:33:05Speaker 01

  Dude, I worked with a black guy named PJ, 25. And he, and I was like, yo. He goes, bitches be liking this shit, man. He was, I was like, all right. I had to open the window. I'd be in a car with him. I was like.

• 1:33:19Speaker 00

  I hope Kyle comes up here to disagree. Every time I said, buddy, we got to cool on the cologne. And then I said, hey, listen, man, I, I understand that you don't make the same money I do, but my nose has rich scent. I don't want to smell Target cologne.

• 1:33:33Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:33:34Speaker 00

  I go, can, I said, can I buy you expensive colognes? Cause I'm gonna smell it.

• 1:33:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:33:38Speaker 00

  So I wouldn't mind smelling good stuff when you're here.

• 1:33:40Speaker 01

  Was he where, what was he putting on? What was he?

• 1:33:41Speaker 00

  Oh, he puts on like, uh, Cool Water.

• 1:33:44Speaker 01

  Cool Water Cologne.

• 1:33:45Speaker 00

  Cool Water. And then, uh, he's, his cologne scents are agri, it's army mentality cologne.

• 1:33:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:52Speaker 00

  So like whatever was the issued in the, in the military.

• 1:33:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:56Speaker 00

  He stayed with that. Whatever you could get on MacDill Air Force Base, we were just there. That's his cologne. And you're like, yo, you gotta step up your game. I'm smelling you.

• 1:34:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:05Speaker 00

  That's, that's a good one, right? That blue one?

• 1:34:07Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 1:34:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:34:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like it. And this is interesting to me too.

• 1:34:11Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:34:12Speaker 01

  I mean, it's interesting.

• 1:34:13Speaker 00

  I can't remember if that was expensive or not.

• 1:34:15Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:34:16Speaker 00

  I, I went in.

• 1:34:17Speaker 01

  It's really about what your nose likes.

• 1:34:18Speaker 00

  So the very first time I ever made any money, I called, uh, I called you and Christina and I said, I told you guys how much I made and you guys said you should buy yourself a present. Do you remember this story? And

• 1:34:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:31Speaker 00

  And I bought myself the same fanny pack Christina hat.

• 1:34:35Speaker 01

  That's what you got?

• 1:34:36Speaker 00

  I thought, I thought that it was for you. He sent a picture and I went, oh, that's dope. I'm gonna buy it. And then I sent her a picture and she goes, that's what you got, Leanne? I was like, you got it for me. She's like, that's mine. I went, oh. And then I went, we were balling. Leanne and I were balling. We were rich. We were rich. We were rich. Now in my, and I look back, we absolutely were not rich, but I thought we were rich.

• 1:34:56Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:34:57Speaker 00

  And I went in to a cologne shop, same fucking in the crystals. Went into a cologne shop and I was like, it was a nice one too. It was like Hermes or whatever's in that thing. I was like, what kind of colognes do you guys have? And he was like, uh, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, what's your, like, best one? And he goes, oh, obviously it's this one. I said, great. I said, let me get a bottle. And he goes, big one or small one? I go, big one. And he was like, great. All right. Wow. All right. And he pulled it out and I didn't look at the price and it was like fucking $3,000 or something. And as he was ringing it up and I went, was that, and then I'm doing the math. I'm like, $3,000, I'll be wearing that for the next 17 years. I was like, mate, I never wear cologne. Why am I wearing the big one?

• 1:35:40Speaker 00

  And then I had to the guy, I go, can I just get the small one? And he was like, I figured you were gonna say that. And then he pulled out the small one. It was $700. So I was like, oh my God. I don't even know where it is.

• 1:35:50Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:35:50Speaker 00

  I, I think it's, I think it's in, I think it's in my, in Leanne's bathroom, not my, we shit, we have different bathrooms now.

• 1:35:57Speaker 01

  Please find it. Please go find, go on a mission and find it.

• 1:36:00Speaker 00

  I worked at Sebastian's, uh, show.

• 1:36:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:36:03Speaker 00

  And I went up to him, I go, how do you smell? And he goes, I can't smell ya. I got so much on. He wears this, you know, he, he wears the scent for his front.

• 1:36:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:12Speaker 00

  And his back.

• 1:36:13Speaker 01

  And his back. It's amazing.

• 1:36:14Speaker 00

  Sebastian Maniscalco.

• 1:36:18Speaker 00

  So like, when you break apart comedians, right?

• 1:36:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:20Speaker 00

  Like, when you break apart comedians, I think, I think I'm a fascinating, like, if you studied me, you'd go, and, and you have to sit in my therapies.

• 1:36:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:29Speaker 00

  You'd, I think it would be really fascinating. I was thinking about doing therapy, uh, and putting it on, out as a podcast after I've done therapy.

• 1:36:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:36Speaker 00

  Just releasing it as a, as like a

• 1:36:37Speaker 01

  Amazing idea.

• 1:36:39Speaker 00

  For real?

• 1:36:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:39Speaker 00

  I think about, cause I'm getting a brand new therapist next week.

• 1:36:42Speaker 01

  That'd be a fucking amazing.

• 1:36:43Speaker 00

  And with what I'm going through and just be a hundred percent honest. And obviously like the way Jonah Hill did his.

• 1:36:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:48Speaker 00

  You put it out and then you, obviously you take anything you don't want to, right?

• 1:36:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:52Speaker 00

  And, but do it.

• 1:36:54Speaker 00

  You are a fascinating, cause I can't understand what moves you. Like, you're, you're, like, I can't understand what drives you. Like, I, you're a fascinating person. That's why I like you. That's why I also like, look at you sideways sometimes. Sebastian Maniscalco is a study. Cause he is, he is a hairdresser's son from Chicago.

• 1:37:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:20Speaker 00

  He is authentically Italian.

• 1:37:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:23Speaker 00

  I mean, you ask him questions and his answers are so much better than, sometimes than things he says on stage.

• 1:37:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:31Speaker 00

  When I said to him, I said to him on, on a Two Bears, this is one of my favorite, I go, I go, uh, I, I, and I, it's the way he says it. I said, so when you get up in the morning and you go to make coffee, are you in like gym shorts or your underwear? Like, how do you, and he looks at me, he goes,

• 1:37:48Speaker 00

  I'm in a robe. And I go, what kind of robe do you have? He goes, depends the season. I said, what? And he goes, I got four different robes for the four different seasons.

• 1:37:58Speaker 01

  And daytime and nighttime robes. Yeah.

• 1:38:01Speaker 00

  I find that so fascinating.

• 1:38:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's awesome. He's committed to it.

• 1:38:04Speaker 00

  It's, but he's not, it's not an act. It's who he is. The very first time I ever met him.

• 1:38:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:09Speaker 00

  He was putting on like knee high socks with stirrups and brand new cleats and wrist, like two wristbands. And we were gonna go play home run derby and he was putting on the outfit, like sliding shorts. And I thought he was doing a bit and I couldn't stop laughing. And he was like, what? What's so funny? And I go, what are you dressing up for? And he goes, we're playing home run derby.

• 1:38:34Speaker 00

  You're wearing that? And I was like, oh my, like he's just-

• 1:38:38Speaker 01

  And that's why it's so funny, though. It's because it's who he is.

• 1:38:41Speaker 00

  The best comics, my favorite comics, my favorite people. My favorite people are the ones who, when you say things authentically like you do, they get confused at how different you are than them.

• 1:38:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:38:55Speaker 00

  Joe Rogan is my favorite curious look. Do you remember this day? We walked in and he casually said to you, I can do a split.

• 1:39:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:05Speaker 00

  And I said, yeah, we can all do splits, Joe. And he was like, what?

• 1:39:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:08Speaker 00

  I go, we can all do splits, Joe. It's not a big deal. Everyone does splits. And he goes, you can do a split? And I go, of course I can do a split. And he went like this. Let me see, do a split. And I go, I'm wearing jeans. I'm, yeah, okay. So I start to do the split and I realize I can't do a split.

• 1:39:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:23Speaker 00

  And I go as far as I can go. And he goes, it's not a split. And I go, yeah, it's pretty close. He goes, it's not a split. I go, well, yeah, who can do a fucking split? He goes, I can.

• 1:39:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, then he goes, why would you say you could do that? And then that's because he wasn't, he didn't really know you. And I was like, well, that's kind of what he does. And then he was like, but why the fuck would you say you could do that? And you were like, I don't know, I just thought. And he was like, no, the take, you have to work at that. And you were like, I don't know, I just thought maybe I could do it. He was like that, he was so confused. Who says you can do that?

• 1:39:52Speaker 00

  I don't think people give, I, Joe gets a lot of love, but I don't think, I think we've gotten to see a very special side of that human being.

• 1:40:00Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 1:40:01Speaker 00

  That I think is so, the word precious is the right word, but it's the wrong word for him.

• 1:40:07Speaker 01

  I have to pee so bad.

• 1:40:08Speaker 00

  Go pee, I'll keep talking, I don't need you here.

• 1:40:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:40:10Speaker 00

  As a matter of fact, when you're out of town doing your movie, let's just do it this way. Can we get Tom to go, interesting story, Bert? Keep going. Hey, guys, now that Tom's gone, I'd love to tell my Billy Bob Thornton story. Can you just, we don't need him here. Will you just get reaction shots of him?

• 1:40:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:28Speaker 00

  Okay. So I'm at the CMAs, I'm hosting, I'm introducing Shaboozie and Steven Wilson Jr. Tom, I had the best joke-

• 1:40:36Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:40:36Speaker 00

  For Shaboozie that they wouldn't let me tell.

• 1:40:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:38Speaker 00

  And I want to run it by you first. Oh my God, did I tell you about when I met Steve Martin there?

• 1:40:42Speaker 01

  What was he like?

• 1:40:43Speaker 00

  Okay, I'll tell, I'll tell you the story. I'll tell you Steve Martin, then I'll tell you Shaboozie and Steven Wilson Jr. And then I'm gonna tell you Billy Bob Thornton and why I love Billy Bob Thornton so much.

• 1:40:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:40:52Speaker 00

  So I show up and they're like, hey, we need you to run prompter. Now, what I wanted to write, to bring back, to introduce Steven Wilson and Shaboozie, and I know Steven Wilson Jr. very well. I actually know Shaboozie pretty well. I love Shaboozie. I saw him do, when I hosted the New Year's Eve event with Jelly the year before, I saw Shaboozie warm up by myself in-

• 1:41:15Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:41:16Speaker 00

  A field, it's just me and Shaboozie singing, I'm a drop another drop of whiskey.

• 1:41:23Speaker 00

  And I was floored.

• 1:41:26Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:41:26Speaker 00

  Yes, floored. And I enjoyed it so much, I was cheering for him and he remembered that. I see him at the thing. I ran to Ella Langley that night, too.

• 1:41:35Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:41:35Speaker 00

  Which was like one of the coolest things. She had won all the awards and I was walking backstage and I said, all I said was, congratulations. And then she went, oh my God, if my brothers knew I was standing next to the machine, they'd be losing their mind. And I was like, wow, I was floored that Ella Langley knew who I was. She's so fucking talented.

• 1:41:51Speaker 01

  Definitely.

• 1:41:52Speaker 00

  Anyway, to go back to my Shaboozie story. So this is the intro I wanted to say for Shaboozie and Steven Wilson Jr.

• 1:42:00Speaker 00

  Oh, I had, I had to do a tie in with, with Hot Chicken.

• 1:42:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:42:05Speaker 00

  And I wanted, and I had to say, we had Hot Chicken. Uh, once again, another thing that white people stole from black people and made a ton of money. And then I was gonna go here to take what white people stole from him back, Shaboozie. It was a good, it was a good line. It would have been better if I, if you were here, I would have told it to you much better.

• 1:42:22Speaker 01

  Definitely.

• 1:42:23Speaker 00

  Anyway, so I'm at the CMAs and I'm backstage and it's a lot of celebrities. And I see Billy Bob Thornton.

• 1:42:31Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:42:32Speaker 00

  And I am, first of all, he's amazing to look at because everything about him is, it doesn't look like it's been thoughtfully done. It looks like he thoughtfully did it, right? Like his, he had a hat on with a, with a, hang on, I'm talking to Tom.

• 1:42:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:50Speaker 00

  He had, come on in, you'll catch a tail end of the story I was telling you. So we're talking, we're, me and you were talking about Billy Bob Thornton. So I'm backstage at the CMAs and he's got a hat on, a ski cap, and a hole in the ski cap for his ear to show his earring.

• 1:43:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:43:10Speaker 00

  I see him, I'm a fan, Leanne's a real fan. Leanne's like redneck, anything Dwight Yoakam adjacent, Leanne loses her mind. And I casually go, Billy Bob, I missed, I think I said Billy Bob. Billy Bob, I'm such a fan. And this guy has people all around him, everyone's trying to get him. And he just comes over and he goes, hey, thank you. Like makes eye contact, extends his hand, shakes my hand. He goes, I'm Billy, what's your name? I said, Bert. And he goes, good to meet you, Bert. I said, I'm a stand-up comedian. He goes, I love comedy, I love comedy. What are you guys here for? And I said, you know, I started telling this and that and this and that. Someone with him goes, he had the Red Clay Strays on his podcast. And he goes, I love those boys. And he goes, can I tell you?

• 1:43:52Speaker 00

  I wrote a song for them to play for my show, Land Man. And I had just had the guys on that had, they had their recording of it that he hadn't even heard yet. And I go, I heard that song. And he goes, what? I said, I'm friends with them. They played it for me today. And he was like, what did you think? But Billy Bob Thornton, so genuinely interested and authentically like a regular guy.

• 1:44:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44:18Speaker 00

  And the thing is, Tom, I want to be like that a little more, but you can't force it. You are who you are.

• 1:44:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44:24Speaker 00

  You are who you are and you can't try to be different than you are.

• 1:44:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the most important thing.

• 1:44:28Speaker 00

  What were we talking about when you were here?

• 1:44:31Speaker 01

  I don't remember that. That pee was like a, like a life-changing experience. It was so great. This was a lot of fun?

• 1:44:40Speaker 00

  It was a lot of fun. It was a great time. I love doing these podcasts with you. We should announce right now, we're going back to once a week.

• 1:44:45Speaker 01

  Going back to once a week.

• 1:44:46Speaker 00

  We're going back to once a week, everybody. And I would also like to say, Tom and I are going to absolutely do our best. And when we say this, we both committed-

• 1:44:53Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:44:53Speaker 00

  To two bears being me and Tom. We want to thank all our guest bears. Stavi, Di Stefano, all the people that sat in for us, and there's a list of them. We love, and we will have guest bears when appropriate, when needed.

• 1:45:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:45:04Speaker 00

  If it's the last case scenario.

• 1:45:06Speaker 01

  And I'm going, I'm going into a production soon, but we're still gonna make that work.

• 1:45:10Speaker 00

  We're gonna make it work. And if, when we can't, we just want you to bear with us and know that we did everything we can to make it work.

• 1:45:16Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:45:16Speaker 00

  Because you listening to this podcast means a lot to us. We created this genre that everyone now is doing so well in. You're welcome, Mark Normans, Amaral, Shane Gillis, Matt McCusker, Stavi, Chris Di Stefano, Yanis Pappas, Legion of Skanks. You're welcome, we created the genre.

• 1:45:33Speaker 00

  That's a joke. Now clip that out and look at everyone outraged so they watch the next episode.

• 1:45:37Speaker 01

  Pretty good idea. Uh, no, but thank you guys so much for the support. Thank you for watching and this was fun, man. I love you.

• 1:45:43Speaker 00

  I love you to death.

• 1:45:44Speaker 01

  See you guys next week.

• 1:45:44Speaker 02

  Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes topless while the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call Two Bears One Cave.

• 1:46:08Speaker 02

  From the studio that brought you WandaVision. I was an Avenger, but I'm not a hero anymore.

• 1:46:16Speaker 02

  The Vision returns for the final chapter of the groundbreaking trilogy. That family wasn't real. You sure about that? I had a father called Vision. How is this possible?

• 1:46:27Speaker 02

  Don't miss the two-episode premiere of Marvel Television's Vision Quest. Nothing bonds a family together quite like Mortal Jeopardy. Now streaming only on Disney+.