Stavvy Called Us Out | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Thanks to MANSCAPED for sponsoring today’s video! Get The Beard Hedger Plus for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code “BEARS” at https://Manscaped.com! Start your free trial at https://SHOPIFY. COM/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears for your free online visit. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://Betterhelp.com/BEARS. Head to https://FACTORMEALS.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. https://babbel.com/BEARS for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer celebrate Bert officially entering the Guinness Book of World Records for The Machine, possibly the most performed signature story in comedy history, and immediately spiral into the comedy record arms race: Shane Gillis' 77,000-person show, Nate Bargatze's 2 million tickets, the Dane Cook vs. Dave Chappelle longest-set war, and Bert's plan to lock 75,000 paid "hostages" inside Raymond James Stadium and perform for ten straight hours. Then the Bears respond to Stavros Halkias calling out comics who fly private, and explain why he's absolutely right: nobody gets funnier on a private jet. From there, Bert declares Busboys, the new Theo Von and David Spade movie, the greatest piece of art he's ever seen, and Tom finally watches The Odyssey, only for Bert to officially turn on it over the Travis Scott cameo. Plus: Gaddafi's all-female Amazonian Guard, plane-crash hypotheticals, Chimp Empire is the best reality show ever made, Mick Jagger on fame, and why the Bears are grateful they got famous late. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 336 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:18 - Comedians Getting Guinness Records 00:07:24 - The Attendance Record Arms Race 00:18:09 - Stavvy Says Private Jets Don't Make You Funnier 00:24:25 - Lunch Pail Phonies & Staying Honest 00:35:39 - Busboys Is A Secret Masterpiece 00:41:55 - Tom Finally Saw The Odyssey 01:03:45 - Por Osos At Frenchies & MacDill 01:07:29 - The Sexiest Military & Plane Crash Hypotheticals 01:12:08 - Chimp Empire 01:15:26 - Leanne's Birthday & The Black Crowes 01:20:28 - Mick Jagger On Fame 01:24:18 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hundred percent.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, welcome to Two Bears, One Cave and Bert, of course, is sitting there with his award.

• 0:11Speaker 00

  Thank you. Thank you. And I'd like to thank Guinness Book of World Records.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  That's a big theme amongst comedians lately.

• 0:17Speaker 00

  Well, it's the only way to get recognized. It's me, Nate, Shane.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:21Speaker 00

  Are all now record holders. I'm wondering what your record's gonna be.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  I would love to have one. I don't know if it's possible, but what's yours for?

• 0:29Speaker 00

  Oh, well.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Well, maybe we should say what theirs were for first.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  Well, theirs are, I think Shane got two awards.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  I don't know what Shane's two awards. Type in Shane Gillis Guinness Book of World Records.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  Well, it's one was for selling out the Lincoln Financial, like.

• 0:46Speaker 00

  The most, most white people ever sold to, attending a show.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:52Speaker 00

  The most white people gathered in one space that didn't storm a Capitol.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  That's, that's exciting.

• 0:57Speaker 00

  The, it is, it is, he's, Shane's the one that said they were all white. He said it on Fallon.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03Speaker 00

  But, uh.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, look at that.

• 1:06Speaker 00

  What did he, what did he get it for?

• 1:08Speaker 01

  He had, uh, most tickets sold and most, uh, and largest attendance. Cause there's tickets sold and then people who show up. Yeah.

• 1:16Speaker 00

  Oh, wow. That's, uh, I got, first of all, I, that is.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  It's incredible.

• 1:21Speaker 00

  So impressive. And I, I don't, I, I haven't texted with Shane about it, but that is overwhelming. And I, and I don't think we'll ever live to see that record broken. I mean, it's, it's such amazing. Seventy seven thousand tickets is sold.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40Speaker 00

  Is insane.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  By the way, I'm more impressed that only 4,000 people didn't show up.

• 1:46Speaker 01

  Pretty crazy.

• 1:47Speaker 00

  That's 73,000 is a crazy number.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  It's really crazy.

• 1:51Speaker 00

  And so, and, and then, and then what, what's more, uh, uh, Nate Bargatze.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  His is for his tour, I believe.

• 1:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. So what, but I, his number is astounding too. I think it was 2 million white people.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  Yes. Yes. Two, 2 million clean white people.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  2 million.

• 2:12Speaker 00

  1.9. Let's be very clear. It's not 2 million.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 2:16Speaker 00

  1.9.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  It says 2 million 45,000 over the course of 16 months.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Okay, okay.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  He beat.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  Oh, oh, he beat Jeff Dunham.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  Who was 1.9.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Over 35 months.

• 2:29Speaker 00

  Wow. Hold on, wait, I should just extend mine. I bet over 25 years I can beat that.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Definitely could. That's a really good way to approach it, man.

• 2:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, if we're just gonna extend the months.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:43Speaker 00

  197 months, Bert Kreischer comes close in third place.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  There you go, man.

• 2:48Speaker 00

  It's crazy cause Guinness just floats around these shows, like they just sit back.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:53Speaker 00

  You never know when Guinness is gonna show up. Like, that's the thing about Guinness. You're jumping rope and all of a sudden you see someone with a counter and a suit standing by you.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  And you're like, shit, I'm about to be in the, in the fucking record book. It's so exciting. And then they came to your house today.

• 3:07Speaker 00

  And they showed up, cause, and, uh, I got, and I'm really proud and I want to thank Guinness. This recognizes The Machine as one of the most performed standup stories in comedy history. And possibly the most performed, and possibly, it says possibly.

• 3:30Speaker 00

  And possibly, a lot of world records say possibly.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, possibly.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  The most performed signature story by a major touring comedian. It has been performed over 1,600, over 16, just casually.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  1,600.

• 3:46Speaker 00

  In venues from April 5th, 2011 through August 20th, 2026, and has been heard live in front of probably over 2 million people.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Wow, man. Guinness has a way with language. Congratulations, dude.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  Thanks, man.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  We're all proud of you. That's very, very cool.

• 4:06Speaker 00

  I'm really excited. I was, I beat out Gallagher. I beat out.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  You did.

• 4:11Speaker 00

  Jeff Dun, Jeff Dunham with the.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  The crazy thing is that they'll probably take away probably in 10 years when you continue to do it, you know? The language will change.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  That's really, really cool, man.

• 4:27Speaker 00

  I'm really excited. I'm really excited.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  For you. I'm really excited for you.

• 4:31Speaker 00

  What, what I'm most excited about is just to share this online, cause that's, it's, it's, I, it's so funny. I, okay, so let's get into the dirt. Now, what, cause we're gonna talk about Stavvy and him trashing all his friends in a second. We're gonna talk about, no, that's what's selling in podcasts right now is just going viral, man. You wanna go viral, fucking like stir the fucking pot.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:54Speaker 00

  Call Eat the Rich, baby. Shoot your CEOs.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  And so, uh, and you know, I love you, Stavvy. And we're gonna talk about, uh, we're gonna talk about a bunch of stuff. But what is interesting to me, and I'm, I am curious, I know it's not. So in order to get Guinness, you have to call and pay for them to come, right? They don't really just show up.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:15Speaker 00

  So who was it? Their agents? Is it [BLEEP] that are fighting and bleep their names out? Are their agents the ones trying to win these awards?

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, probably, there probably are because they.

• 5:29Speaker 00

  Cause I'll, I'll tell you right now, Shane Gillis did not call fucking Guinness.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  No, but what happens is everybody wants to know that they set a record. They all, everyone loves breaking a record. And they know that the artist is not gonna be like, fucking do it. So the agent takes the reins on it and goes like, I, I got this. And then presents it and then you have to act like, did I?

• 5:56Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  And you damn well know you did, but.

• 6:01Speaker 00

  That's the footage I wanna see. Can I ask Shane? Cause I know they covered it, right?

• 6:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:06Speaker 00

  Shane, we know you're a real dog, right? We know you're a real one. You don't fuck around. Can you please post the video of them presenting you the award where you're so uncomfortable with this recipient? That's the video that would make me cry laughing.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  He would be very uncomfortable getting that, I imagine. Yeah.

• 6:25Speaker 00

  Do you know that they must have, I mean, he didn't even stand on stage. He stood offstage to receive his award? Cause they brought it to him and he was like, he was like, yeah, I know.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:33Speaker 00

  And they're like, they're like, no, no, stand with the, you gotta hold both. And you know Shane is like, the fuck's the difference?

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm sure it's hilarious though.

• 6:41Speaker 00

  And then the best one, the best one, and I got, look, I'm calling out my friends. These are my friends. I've, I've given them nothing but love their entire career. But the greatest one is Nate's video. Have you seen Nate? Look at him. He's not even on stage. He's like, ugh. And you know, he is proud to sell those tickets. He's proud of that moment.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 7:00Speaker 00

  But Shane Gillis is not a, a hold a Guinness. That is an agent on the other side of that camera going, Shane, a little higher?

• 7:09Speaker 01

  You know, it's all, all the news that happened for like these awards is just for this news to get to Chappelle. And him be like, man, fuck these white boys. And just decide that he wants to break every record. I just don't think he.

• 7:23Speaker 00

  This is what it goes back to. Do you remember, do you remember?

• 7:29Speaker 00

  The, so this is happening. So just so we're clear, this is happening. And, and by the way, it started, I mean, I, I, I'm a comedy. I remember the first time I broke someone's attendance. I'm in comedy. I know that all the insides.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:42Speaker 00

  I remember the first time I broke someone's attendance record. I remember when Shane called me to tell me he broke my beer sales in Arizona. Like, these are things you know. And usually it's just like between us. And then it started where people started breaking attendance and then posting it online. This is how it started.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:59Speaker 00

  It'd be an interesting, Joke World should hit this up and do like a documentary on this.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:04Speaker 00

  I'm being serious. Joke World does a great job at this. And it started, Matt Rife, I think, was the first person to break an attendance. And then someone broke Matt Rife's. And here's what I heard. You ready?

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm here.

• 8:18Speaker 00

  I'm not gonna say who.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:19Speaker 00

  That person then paid out of pocket for them to remove seats. So his record could never be broken.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  Do you know who I'm talking about?

• 8:28Speaker 01

  I think so. I've heard of that. Yes, yes.

• 8:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Which is crazy. That is insane.

• 8:33Speaker 00

  Insane.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  Insane to be like, this way, this can never be broken. That's so crazy.

• 8:38Speaker 00

  And you're probably right now watching this going, hold on, Bert. This sounds like something you would have done. You're a hundred percent right. A hundred percent right. A hundred percent right.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  I broke, I gotta say, I broke a record at, um, Climate Pledge Arena in Seattle for this kind of thing. It was tickets sold and attendance. And then I did not ask them to remove seats. And I think it was Rife that actually broke that record.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. And then Matt Rife was like, and they, I think they should make it more specific. Most hot chicks at a show, go to Matt Rife.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  He, he would get the Guinness for that.

• 9:12Speaker 00

  Without a fucking doubt.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  For years, years in a row.

• 9:15Speaker 00

  But, but this goes back to, so I wanna, just for any comedy nerds.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:19Speaker 00

  This started, the very first time I ever heard this was longest time on stage. Do you remember that?

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Yes. And that was a thing that, cause that's the thing for people that don't know, that comedians do love to brag about. And as part of it is rooted in when you start, you get, you're like, I have five minutes or I have 15. And the big markers, when you have like 20, when you have 20, you can feature for people. And then you're obviously trying to build up to your hour. And so when you get to an hour, it's like, holy shit, I can stand on stage for an hour and do this. And then you would hear the flex of people being like, I did an hour and a half. And you'd be like, holy shit, you're up there an hour and a half? So this became a thing you learn in doing this, as you'd probably learn as an audience member, that no one wants to see you up there for that fucking long.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  But it became a thing specifically in LA where some of the big names were like, I can do this much time. And, and then there'd be, I think the battle ultimately that you're talking about was between Dane and Chappelle, right?

• 10:19Speaker 00

  Dane and Chappelle, pull it up. Dane and Chappelle. So Dane broke it. And by the way, there's wild stories of that rivalry in the moment. The thing is, when you're the hottest comic on the market, everyone in your team's saying you're number one. And then everyone on someone else's team is saying you're number one.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:35Speaker 00

  And then despite, even if you're friends, like I, I think Nate and Shane are probably friends. Maybe, I don't really know. I've never really seen them hang out. But like.

• 10:46Speaker 00

  It, look at this, Dane Cook broke each other's stand-up records and no one topped them since. Until Burt fucking Kreischer.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Well, here's the thing, you should come after this one. So Pryor, it says, I didn't even know this, originally set the record by performing for two hours and forty-one minutes.

• 11:01Speaker 00

  By the way, nothing, Gabe beats that every fucking night.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  And it ended up taking twelve and twenty-seven years for that record to be broken.

• 11:08Speaker 00

  What?

• 11:09Speaker 01

  And Dane took the crown by doing a three-hour and fifty-minute set. And just five days later, Dave Chappelle dropped by and blew Cook out of the water in a performance that clocked six hours and seven minutes.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  By the end of the year, he broke his own record by putting on a slightly lengthier show. It wouldn't last long, however, as Cook took the stage less than a month later with a seven-hour and thirty-four-minute set. This is insane.

• 11:37Speaker 00

  This is going to keep happening. Do you realize, I mean, this is what, I guarantee you.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  You could actually, you could definitely break this record.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  Which one?

• 11:47Speaker 01

  This one you could definitely break.

• 11:49Speaker 00

  I'm thinking about breaking the attendance record.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  You can think about it.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  And the length one, and the length one.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  Well, but you can't.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  No, no, no, no, hear me out, hear me out, hear me out. Hang on, stop, stop.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:00Speaker 00

  Okay?

• 12:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, sorry, I have this habit of cutting you off, go ahead.

• 12:05Speaker 00

  It's okay, it's okay.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Go ahead.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  It'll cost me, it's gonna cost me a million dollars.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  To, oh, are you gonna buy the tickets?

• 12:15Speaker 00

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna buy all the tickets and I'm gonna pay people to come to my show.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  And I'm gonna break all these attendance records and then I'm gonna pay them. So they're hired.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  We're gonna lock the fucking doors and I'm gonna do ten hours.

• 12:29Speaker 00

  We're gonna do this at Raymond James.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  Like a hostage situation.

• 12:32Speaker 00

  Everyone's getting five bucks, hostage situation. You get five bucks, we lock the door and then I'm doing ten hours. I'm breaking everyone's record, everyone, any, any record out there, I'm breaking, I'm breaking all records.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  If you really wanna do this.

• 12:44Speaker 00

  Story ten times.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  You can really do this, man. It looks like a guy in Nigeria did sixty hours once though.

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• 17:11Speaker 01

  That's so awful, I can't even imagine.

• 17:15Speaker 00

  What you're right is, you know, I mean, Chappelle, I think Chappelle did, I, I think he did Shane's show.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  No, he did, he did, he did, yes.

• 17:23Speaker 00

  I think, so like.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  You're right.

• 17:26Speaker 00

  But, but he was, it wasn't Chappelle's show, but I think he closed it, if I'm not mistaken.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  He came on, yes, you're right, you're right.

• 17:32Speaker 00

  And so, um, and so you know Chappelle has to have that record in sight and you know he could do that in DC, right?

• 17:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think the thing with Chappelle is he, he has so much, so much broad appeal that like, he can do, he can do stadiums in like, he could do South Africa, he could do New York.

• 17:52Speaker 00

  He could do it, that's the move for Chappelle is do it in fucking, do like Moses Mabita Stadium in, in fucking Johannesburg.

• 18:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, he could do it anywhere. I think, I think they could do it anywhere.

• 18:03Speaker 00

  I bet he could break that record consecutively around the world, which would be the move for Chappelle, in my opinion.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  If he want, if he's interested in doing that.

• 18:12Speaker 00

  But if he wants Stavvy to like him, he's gotta fly coach.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  People just wanna be as successful as possible, they wanna play arenas for arena's sake. They just wanna be the kinda guy, like, they wanna be on a private jet. I really want adversity because nobody gets funnier on a private jet.

• 18:28Speaker 00

  This is what's so great about stand-up's fucking back, baby. It's hot. So Stavvy hates everyone we just mentioned, he hates them all.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Does he?

• 18:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, oh, he hates you. Read the comments. You're all, cough cough Tom Segura, you fly private everywhere.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  But I don't, but.

• 18:48Speaker 00

  I know.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  But, wasn't, I think what he's saying is that, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm, I saw this thing, but I, I think what he was saying is just that like, a, a life of luxury doesn't make you funny, right? Adversity is what is relatable and keeps you funny. I think that's kinda the point of what he's saying.

• 19:08Speaker 00

  I have to say, I have to say real quick, I'm busting Stavvy's balls. I agree with what he's saying.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love Stavvy.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  I actually, I, I agree a hundred percent with what Stavvy's saying and, and the truth is, flying private and doing arenas doesn't make you funnier. As a matter of fact, I think it, it is like, creatively, it's like swimming in overalls. Like you're not going forward as quickly as you think. You may be, and, and no slight, look, I'm in this group, I've, I have flown private and I have performed in arenas. So I am, what he's talking about, and I agree with him, is the most, I, I was breaking it down to someone the other day, Tom. I remember the first time I did a theater and you called me and you said, hey man, heads up, it's not like a club.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:49Speaker 00

  And, and I was like, oh, I, I think I'll be good. And I got, called you back and I was like, dude, I blew through my act in thirty-five minutes.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, it's different, it's.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  And it's different, but it, is it a different art form when you go from a club to a theater and a theater to an arena?

• 20:04Speaker 01

  I think it is.

• 20:05Speaker 00

  It's not.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  I think what happens is, the best thing for you, I think as a comedian, is to make sure you're, if you're, if you can play in all three, play in all three. If you're, if you're an arena comic, it's so important for you to at a minimum pop in the clubs, because clubs are not just like the lifeblood of the business, it's the lifeblood of being a stand-up comedian. Like you have to keep that muscle active there. And if you, if you've ever done the thing where you do like a bunch of arenas in a row and then jump into a club, it feels different. Now, it's still stand-up, but it feels different, dude. It feels really different. And I think that's why it's important to do all three.

• 20:45Speaker 00

  It's crazy, and I'll speak from my, and I, and I'm speaking to, to agree with Stavvy is that when you do, when, when, when Shane does Lincoln Financial, right? And, and Shane knows this and, and, I mean, look, not everyone knows this, but like, there are things he can do that make seventy-seven thousand people lose their mind.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:07Speaker 00

  But that if you do it in a club of people that don't really all know you.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:11Speaker 00

  Your little subtlety is, just falls flat and you're like.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, it, all those things, of course, everything, and also that's, but what you're talking about is also the difference between playing to an audience that knows you and an audience that doesn't, right?

• 21:23Speaker 00

  That's the important part is like, do you remember one time, and I, I could use my examples, but it's more fun for me to use examples of you bombing, is, do you remember you calling me and you're like, dude, when was the last time you did, uh, you did the, the Last Laughing Skull? And I was like, I was like, I haven't done it in a while and you're like, uh, I just did it. You were doing the movie with Mark, Mark Wahlberg.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:47Speaker 00

  And you're like, and it did not go well. I was like, really? And you're like, dude, I mean, this material is crushing on stage, why isn't it working here? And it's like, it, they don't know you, they're not.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:59Speaker 00

  They're not mommies, you know, they're not like jeans, they're not, they're not bear cubs or whatever we call our fans. Cubbies.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's a difference. There's a difference between people that know you and people. All that matters, you know? But I mean, I think the thing you were trying to say is that everybody on these lists flies private. That was your point, right? That you were saying that like everyone that you mentioned.

• 22:22Speaker 00

  Oh, I have the chat thread. Do you want me to pull it? I sent it texted to you.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  About who does?

• 22:28Speaker 00

  I just did a private, a flying private chat thread.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, that's.

• 22:32Speaker 00

  Send it to Stavvy's clip. I was like, I think he's talking about you to everyone.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, but I understand his point. I do understand his point.

• 22:41Speaker 00

  First of all, first of all, let's just be very clear, Stavvy. You would love private. You would love it. It's so fucking nice.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:51Speaker 00

  All the snacks are there. All the things you like, Stavvy, are in a private jet.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  But he wants the adversity. That's what he's saying.

• 22:56Speaker 00

  He's right. I mean, he's right. He's right. I mean, I think.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  Waiting in line and getting like fucked over by TSA is a funnier experience than being like, can we drive onto the tarmac? For sure. Like, there's no, there's no question about it, man. There's no question. He's right about that.

• 23:15Speaker 00

  I have more jokes about being in an airport bar than I do to someone saying, would you like caviar and champagne this morning?

• 23:24Speaker 01

  It's just, it's not as funny. It's definitely not as funny.

• 23:26Speaker 00

  It's not. It's not. And, and I will, I will say that like.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  But then there's the guys, I'm sorry to cut you off, but there's the guys who are, there's the guys who.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  Someone trying to set a Guinness World Record?

• 23:39Speaker 01

  There's a guy that, there's the guys that fly private in comedy, and this always makes me laugh. Like, like, I don't advertise it, obviously. Like, I'm not out there being like, you know, whatever. You do it when you do it on tour.

• 23:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  But there's the guys who are like, I'm a real lunch pail guy, like a real ham and egger. And, and that's their whole persona. And they are extraordinarily wealthy. And they fly private everywhere. And they live a life of luxury. But their whole thing is just to hose people into thinking that they're like grinding it out, trying to get by. I find that to be so much more like deliberate and misleading that you're like, you're not this guy, dude. You're, you're just trying to lie. Like, you're lying to everybody.

• 24:24Speaker 00

  You're lying.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:25Speaker 00

  You're, you're putting on a costume. My favorite guy is this guy. All right, I gotta go on stage.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 24:32Speaker 00

  Here, hold that for me.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  Hold that.

• 24:33Speaker 00

  And what? Wait, what are you doing? Oh, I dig. They can't see that, man. You know what he's saying when he does that? You know what he's saying? They're fucking so stupid.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  That those, these 20,000 people in this room are so stupid that if they see that, oh, man, I gotta deal with how dumb they are.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 24:53Speaker 00

  And that's not respecting your audience, dude. I.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  No, it's not. It's totally.

• 24:56Speaker 00

  It's not respecting your audience. And I'm not saying, look, whatever, put everyone, anyone's name in this you want that you think is the guy. It's not the one you think. But I will say, and I, and I'm caught in shit for this. And I said it to Eliza one time. Eliza said, don't ever tell anyone you've flown private. And I went, no, I'm not gonna do that. Because my, my negotiation with an audience is that I will try to be as honest as I can to make it funny or to be as real. I want you to witness every change I go through so that when you see me on stage, you know you're still talking to the guy you fucking met who went to Rogan's house fucking 15 years ago and told the machine story. And like, that, that, the, the person I am today.

• 25:36Speaker 01

  For what they thought was the first and last time. Keep going. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, he'll never tell this again. What a great story. And you're like, funny that you say that. I'm gonna do it 20,000 times.

• 25:51Speaker 00

  But probably.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  Probably why you got the award.

• 25:53Speaker 00

  Probably over 16,000.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Prob- probably over 16.

• 25:59Speaker 00

  But, but it's so funny because it's, it really is like, you wanna stay true to your fans as you change. No one thinks that, let's just use jokes, he's a safe thing. No one thinks Joe's the same guy that he was when he first started working at UFC or when he first started the podcast. Joe's changed a ton. And I don't think he's ever not owned it. He now hunts. He now takes hunting trips. He's done podcasts on private jets from a hunting trip that I've listened to. Joe's been very honest about every part of who he is. And there's huge parts of Joe that haven't changed at all. Listen, I've been honest with my testosterone use, my Manjaro, my anxiety, my drink. Well, not entirely honest with my drinking, but

• 26:44Speaker 00

  you know, we know, I try to be as honest with the things that matter.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:48Speaker 00

  And so I just find it so comical that like, that, I don't know, whatever. I just wanna break some world records.

• 26:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's really what it's about, man. And I really think your idea, first of all, I really do legitimately think you could.

• 27:05Speaker 00

  Hostage situation, one comic, no way out. I love it.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  This is great.

• 27:10Speaker 00

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• 31:15Speaker 01

  You really could, you could break the, like legitimately break the time on stage set record. You could do that one. You could definitely do that.

• 31:24Speaker 00

  I, I could do, I, I could, I mean, okay, I'm not, listen, I'm not gonna break Shane's record. I'll break one of them. I'm not gonna break, I'm not gonna break, it's so hard, even as a joke, you couldn't move 77,000 tickets. I mean, as a, as a bit, what I'd have to do is I'd have to do, what's attendance of Raymond James? What's the, what is his seat? Cause I could get Raymond James. Tampa's my one move, right? And then I say, I'll match the gate and I'll donate it to charity.

• 31:54Speaker 01

  So for, for special events, they can do 75,000. You can be right there. You can be right there, dude.

• 32:01Speaker 00

  But no one's fucking making a placard for 75,000, Tom. I need that placard.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  I know. Well, you went to FSU.

• 32:10Speaker 00

  What's Doak Campbell? Doak Campbell.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  Doak Campbell Stadium.

• 32:13Speaker 00

  Doak Campbell Stadium.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  D O A K. Yeah, that one.

• 32:20Speaker 00

  Campbell.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Shit. Oh, for special events?

• 32:24Speaker 00

  For special events, what? 79?

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, 79 to 82.

• 32:30Speaker 00

  That means I got, every box is full, every fucking.

• 32:33Speaker 01

  Really got a fucking, you're gonna have to know, you're gonna have to go to a different, different stadium, dude. It's not gonna work like this.

• 32:38Speaker 00

  Can't do it. I can't do it. I just.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  Gainesville?

• 32:42Speaker 00

  No. Oh, the swamp. That would be fucking, that holds a lot.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  That holds like 100, I think. 90 or 90 plus.

• 32:52Speaker 00

  I mean, it is centrally located.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  You know, Florida is your move.

• 32:58Speaker 00

  So what, but what, what would the move be? I'll, I'll match the proceeds of the thing and then donate them to charity, right?

• 33:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you're not gonna do it in Michigan, dude.

• 33:12Speaker 00

  I'm not, I'm not going to Michigan.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  No.

• 33:14Speaker 00

  I had a hard time selling the Fox last time.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Wait, tell us, keep scrolling down.

• 33:20Speaker 00

  Ohio Stadium.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, that'd be pretty rad.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Um. Hmm.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  Right, that's pretty fucking, oh man, I'm trying to get you, it's gotta be in Florida, dude. What does, what does the swamp hold? I think it's 90.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  Really?

• 33:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so. I mean, you know, you'd have to have some opening remarks about why you're there.

• 33:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  At the enemy's territory, but

• 33:49Speaker 00

  I will say, I will say that University of Florida, and I probably shouldn't say this out loud, but they asked me to

• 33:53Speaker 01

  88, 88.

• 33:54Speaker 00

  Oh, okay, I gotta do it at University of Florida.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  Ben Hill Griffin Stadium.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. They asked you to come out?

• 34:01Speaker 00

  They asked me to, uh, they asked me to come out and I didn't really read the whole offer.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  It didn't, it didn't time out, I couldn't do it, and I wanted to. Um, they wanted to me to moderate a classroom about comedy and marketing.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 34:17Speaker 00

  I didn't read the whole offer. Um, and I almost did it, but, uh, it was, it was like, I think, oh, I think it was today. And Leanne's birthday is today.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 34:28Speaker 00

  And so I, I, I know 50, so I wanna throw all up. Um, the, uh, but, and so it was today, so I would have missed Leanne's birthday, but it was like, I would have been great, I love that shit.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that would have been awesome.

• 34:39Speaker 00

  Oh, fucking great. The, um, but, uh, but I love you, Stavvy, and I love the, and I gotta say this, cause I know that like, these things are great because it gets the comment sections going. And like, people are losing their mind and they're going like, you know, like, oh, how dare you talk like that, Stavvy, I missed, and then other people are like, fucks, yeah, Stavvy, that you're a man of the people, this is that, that's good.

• 35:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:04Speaker 00

  For comedy, gets people in the comments arguing. Um, I gotta say, I love this, I love, I love that Stavvy talks like that. I love that, that's what I love about Stavvy. Is he fucking, he don't give a fuck.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, that's great.

• 35:20Speaker 00

  And even if, even if he was talking about, which we think he was talking about you, even if he was talking about you, which is, I'm pretty sure who he was talking about.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:29Speaker 00

  I'm, I'm cool with him talking about my buddy like that.

• 35:31Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm fine with it, I'm totally fine.

• 35:34Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  I promise you, I am the least bothered person. It's not offending me at all.

• 35:39Speaker 00

  Um, so I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you a story, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell you two stories, and we may have to edit these out.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Oh, good.

• 35:48Speaker 00

  But, but, so, last night, I turned on David Spade and Theo Von's movie.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh, Bus Boys.

• 35:56Speaker 00

  Bus Boys.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:58Speaker 00

  I have to say this.

• 36:03Speaker 00

  It may be the greatest piece of art that I've ever seen in my entire life.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  Really?

• 36:09Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 36:10Speaker 01

  I have not seen it.

• 36:11Speaker 00

  And I, I'll tell you why. First of all, when they

• 36:17Speaker 00

  it, it holds true to no rules at all, like, it is very clearly, and I'm, I'm pretty sure Theo wrote it entirely. I only say that because it is Theo's fucking brain.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think they wrote it together, right? Pretty sure.

• 36:33Speaker 00

  It, it's got Theo thumbprints all over it.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:36Speaker 00

  And, and I'll tell you why, and, and this is, first of all, you should not watch this, this sober, do not watch it sober. And do not watch it with an expectation of what you believe a movie to be. Okay?

• 36:48Speaker 01

  Believe a movie to be?

• 36:49Speaker 00

  Yes, that's what's great about this, and, and I want you to know, I'm not being ironic, and I'm, I just want to be very clear.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 36:56Speaker 00

  Sometimes when I watch a movie, I feel like AI wrote it, right? Sometimes when you watch a movie, you feel like, it's got screenwriters think fingerprints all over it, wow. A guy's in the car, hey, what's up, hon, I'm coming home right after my big meeting, where I'm closing the deal. And when I close the deal, we're getting married, and everything's gonna be great, that's our first act, right?

• 37:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:14Speaker 00

  And then he meets her, and then everything falls apart, and then, and then all of a sudden, he's, and then the second act is this, oh, I gotta go to the, I, now I gotta go on, on the fishing trip with the boss. And let's hope, oh my god, his son is this, and all these character developments and structure that we know to be a movie. It has none of that.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  There's no structure.

• 37:37Speaker 00

  There's zero structure. Fucking 36 minutes in, and I'm not certain if we're in the first act.

• 37:43Speaker 00

  And, and, and I have to tell you, I have to tell you.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:46Speaker 00

  As a guy who's watched a lot of comedy movies, it is quite refreshing, it, it really is, there is, I, and you have to get a little high to watch it. And when they get you laughing, when the two of them are in the car together, when the two of them have a scene together, when the two of them, or when they write for one of our friends, it is so fucking

• 38:08Speaker 00

  thinly veiled that it is hysterical. I almost feel like they made it just for their friends.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  Well, now you're making, and now I really wanna see it, you've got me, I went

• 38:19Speaker 00

  So good, it's so good, now listen, do not, do not dare go into this and go, I will be watching something about a, a protagonist.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:31Speaker 00

  Who, within the first 15 minutes, I know who he is, I know what his goals are, do not look for that.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 38:38Speaker 00

  So I'm, I'm 36 minutes, I'm in, I'm at

• 38:42Speaker 01

  This is a hell of a review for 36 minutes of a movie.

• 38:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. But no, but I, I'm excited to finish it, because like, dude, they do things that are so and, and they have to, I wish they would have said this a little more.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 38:59Speaker 00

  I wish they had said, I wish they had promoted this a little bit more like this, because I know them and I got it, but like, there's a scene, uh, spoiler alert, if you've seen the movie, if you've read the book. Um, there's a scene where, um, the waiter brings out hot plates, okay?

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:26Speaker 00

  It's so stupid, it's brilliant. It's so fucking, but you gotta remember, man, this is why I laughed so hard. It is David Spade doing this. David Spade is inarguably, one of, one of our best comedic actors will ever have known.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  He's crazy underrated, how funny that guy is. He's so fucking funny.

• 39:50Speaker 00

  Tom, Tom, I'm gonna spoil, I'm gonna spoil it for you, they bring out a hot plate, and the guy comes out and he goes, hey, hot plate, hot plate, hot, oh, way over the top, way over the top, hot plate, hot plate, hot plate, and then he puts it on David Spade's hands. And David Spade's like, what the fuck, and he goes, hey, I said a hot plate, and then he walks away. And then he comes out again, hot plate, a hot plate, a hot plate, and he puts it on David Spade's hands, David Spade's like, what the fuck, and he goes, hey, I said a hot plate. And then he comes in and he goes, cold bowl, cold bowl, and he puts it on his forehead, and you're like, what the fuck am I watching? I am crying laughing, cause in the next scene, David Spade has a scar on his face.

• 40:29Speaker 00

  Dude, when they kill a million bunnies.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  A what? Million bunnies?

• 40:36Speaker 00

  If this should, and, and, listen.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  Just keep in mind, guys, this is 36 minutes in. The rest of the movie is gonna be

• 40:44Speaker 00

  By the way, there's still an hour left of this movie.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:49Speaker 00

  This is a movie I wouldn't sit and watch the whole thing at once, I would take it in bites.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  The cast is insane, too.

• 40:54Speaker 00

  The cast is great. The crap, the cast is awesome, Chris, uh, Cabin Boy, Chris, uh,

• 41:02Speaker 00

  Chris Elliott's in it.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, Chris Elliott.

• 41:04Speaker 00

  Chris Elliott's in it, and you know, can I tell you, that he's very early in this, in the thing?

• 41:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 00

  Now, I, one of my favorite movies is Cabin Boy, one of my favorite TV shows is, uh, Life, was it Life Goes On? Get a Life, Get a Life, do you remember Get a Life with Chris Elliott? Dude, that is, this movie is kind of an homage to that sense of humor.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:26Speaker 00

  It is definitely Get a Life, Get a Life was one of the most ridiculous TV shows ever, and Cabin Boy was ridiculous.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  It was so funny.

• 41:36Speaker 00

  This movie is ridiculous, and it's on

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Speaking of

• 41:39Speaker 00

  Hulu.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  Ridiculous, it's on Hulu?

• 41:41Speaker 00

  It's on Hulu, and it's streaming number one on Hulu right now, check it out, it's called Bus Boys, they are my friends. And I, I'm telling you, get high with your boys, and lower the, lower your expectations. Just, just go into laugh, just go into laugh.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  Speaking of ridiculous and hilarious movies, I finally saw The Odyssey, and you were right, it was laugh out loud, it was so fun. I, I, uh, no, but I finally saw, it's, it feel, that's a movie that you are actually weird and out of it if you don't see it, because it's a cultural phenomenon, like, it is breaking records, it's, and it's kind of like, the only thing that I thought was actually strange, because I give the guy amazing credit for taking, you know, an epic tale like this, and actually getting it into a three hour movie, because he has what would be chapters of this story in a three minute scene, and he's doing it in a way that like, you know,

• 42:42Speaker 01

  you do understand what's happening, you can follow the story, and he's making the, like, the dialogue relatable, and, and and the, the performance, everything's great, I mean, visually, it's stunning, um, the only thing that I thought was weird was like

• 42:56Speaker 00

  The transgender casting, go ahead, say it.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  No, no, I just didn't know, I felt like

• 43:00Speaker 00

  The black lady, go ahead, say it.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  That was it, actually.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  No, the thing that was, I thought strange is like, I don't think you needed, I mean, it's a choice, obviously, to cast so many stars for a story like this. I don't think it was like to the, like, I don't walk away, go, I gotta understand, having like a notable lead or two, but the fact that you fill it with stars, I don't think actually served the story.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  So the Odyssey was great. I say great. Now, listen, now, hold on, and this is what I want to say to you. Before we address the fact that we are about to make our own Odyssey with Mountain Dew. I'm gonna say that.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:39Speaker 00

  But I want to say, and maybe we should address that and then come back

• 43:44Speaker 01

  To the Odyssey?

• 43:45Speaker 00

  To the, to the fact that, and I'm just putting this out there as, as an, as something you guys can fight about in the comments, or we can, or you're listening, you can argue with you and us in your head. Is it that no one goes to the movies?

• 44:00Speaker 01

  No.

• 44:00Speaker 00

  I feel like people are showing up for the Odyssey because it's like, finally, mom cooked a good dinner, you know?

• 44:09Speaker 01

  Yes, I mean, this has been an amazing year for the box office. Like, what we've seen is, everybody was talking about, movies are done, movies are done. And it was like, the only thing that was doing well was franchises and like superhero stuff. And everyone was like, that's what the theater is for now. It was like, kind of a bummer for a lot of people. And so this is your, this is your big ticket one that has really panned out. Like, it was a $250 million movie. It's like, over 700 million right now, and it's gonna project it to do like 1.3 billion, which is phenomenal.

• 44:40Speaker 00

  Hey, let's just be clear.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:42Speaker 00

  Their budget was like, I think their budget's like a billion dollars.

• 44:47Speaker 01

  It's a lot, but it's not, it's not a billion.

• 44:49Speaker 00

  It's like, dude, pull a fucking Harvey Cormack. What's the kid's name? Harvey Cormack, who did Obsession?

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Currie Barker?

• 44:56Speaker 00

  Harvey Barker. Harvey Barker. Currie Barker. Currie Barker, who did Obsession.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  That was made for

• 45:01Speaker 00

  Fucking $750,000.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  $750,000, yeah.

• 45:04Speaker 00

  And by the way, if I talk to him man to man, I'd, I'd, I'd nudge him and go, I caught the 750 a couple of times.

• 45:11Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, I mean, he, he did what, he did what he

• 45:13Speaker 00

  I was like, I was like, I watched it. The movie's incredible. The kid's a fucking genius.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. He's a comedy guy, too. He's a comedy guy.

• 45:22Speaker 00

  But like, at a billion dollars, I nudged him.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  Well, hold on, let's go, let's go back to this. Let's go back to this.

• 45:29Speaker 00

  Let's go back to Currie Baker.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  Bookmark this. Barker. But let's, let's

• 45:33Speaker 00

  Currie Barker?

• 45:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, Barker. B A R K E R.

• 45:36Speaker 00

  Travis Barker's kid?

• 45:37Speaker 01

  That's exactly right. Um, let's, let's discuss our, our Mountain Dew, because we have to say this. For Mountain Dew, we asked you to submit, and we got hundreds of submissions, some of which you did not listen to what we said, and we cannot

• 45:53Speaker 00

  Share them with you. I wanna watch those.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  I know. But we got some that are fun, that, um, you know, are friendly enough to associate with the brand. So you wanna read some of what was sent to us? I feel like I should probably take the first one.

• 46:07Speaker 00

  Sure, let me just finish this. Mountain Dew. I, I drank so much Mountain Dew this summer.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:11Speaker 00

  Because they sent me cases, and I did not let down. I drank Mountain Dews every day at like, 7 o'clock, when we started getting into the night, crack Mountain Dew.

• 46:21Speaker 01

  Guess who I found out is a huge Mountain Dew fan?

• 46:24Speaker 00

  Ooh, let me guess. Uh, is he black or white?

• 46:28Speaker 01

  Neither.

• 46:31Speaker 00

  Oh, is it Aziz Ansari?

• 46:34Speaker 01

  Nope, it's a woman.

• 46:37Speaker 00

  Is it Padma Laksha?

• 46:40Speaker 01

  Charo, my mom.

• 46:42Speaker 00

  Are you serious?

• 46:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. Big.

• 46:45Speaker 00

  No way.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Big. And I, I did not know. She loves Mountain Dew. I'm like, Charo, really? Jace? Yeah.

• 46:53Speaker 00

  Dude, Mountain Dew's so, I mean, I, look, they are sponsoring us.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  She's from the jungle. It kinda makes sense, but like, yeah.

• 46:59Speaker 00

  Oh, fuck, yeah.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:01Speaker 00

  All right, let's talk about our, let's talk about our

• 47:02Speaker 01

  Submissions.

• 47:03Speaker 00

  Then we'll get back to movies.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  Yes, yes. Okay, so here's the first one. This is submitted from Alexander C. I love that they wrote like a treatment for it. Here we go.

• 47:10Speaker 00

  I love this. Alexander C., I kinda want you to direct it.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  It says, it opens up

• 47:14Speaker 00

  Full Harvey Cormack on us.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  It opens up with complete silence. A bald eagle lands on the hood of an old pickup truck. The camera slowly zims in. A voiceover whispers, "Some people drink soda." Suddenly, a can of Mountain Dew cracks open. Everything instantly goes absolutely insane. A guy backflips off a monster truck. Someone launches a riding lawnmower over a barbecue, while burgers fly through the air in slow motion. Two dudes in American flag Speedos drink Mountain Dew on a, on top of a moving combine harvester. Fireworks start going off. Even though it's the middle of the day, a marching band appears out of nowhere, playing the national anthem at full volume. A grandma runs through a cloud of red, white, and blue smoke while screaming, "Let's go!" A guy wrestles an inflatable bald eagle that's somehow 30 feet tall. Someone catches a hot dog thrown from a helicopter. Every explosion is immediately followed by

• 48:00Speaker 01

  another bigger explosion for absolutely no reason. A monster truck crushes a tiny electric scooter in slow motion, while an eagle screeches overhead. A man grills a steak with a flamethrower and casually nods at the camera. The music keeps getting more ridiculous. Then, in the middle of all the chaos, Bert is laughing so hard he can't breathe. Tom just stares into the camera, completely expressionless, and says, "Yeah, this tracks." Everything freezes. The Mountain Dew can spins toward the camera. Cue one final unnecessary explosion. Fade to green.

• 48:28Speaker 00

  By the way, Alexander C.

• 48:30Speaker 01

  He dipped into your mind.

• 48:32Speaker 00

  He, I, that's a fever dream right there.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:35Speaker 00

  That's an American fever dream.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  It's also like a regular Bert dream.

• 48:39Speaker 00

  I love it. I love that. I love these treatments. These are really great. This is a great idea. Whose idea was this?

• 48:45Speaker 01

  That was Alexander C.

• 48:47Speaker 00

  No, the idea to do this? Bert Kreischer.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  Bert Kreischer. There you go, Bert Kreischer. Um, do you wanna read Freaky Friday Bears from Jake K.?

• 48:55Speaker 00

  Oh, this is

• 48:56Speaker 01

  You want me to read it?

• 48:57Speaker 00

  You, you read it. I'm not gonna read it.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Okay, the roles. Tom is Bert.

• 49:02Speaker 00

  Ooh, I love this already.

• 49:04Speaker 01

  The over the top version of Bert. Grill master instead of smoke while he is grilling its red, white, and blue fireworks shooting up. Bert is playing Tom. A nerdy ass, smart guy, Tom. We see him setting something up with electronics and looking extra nerdy and smart, which will be Bert's toughest role yet.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  I love this. I love this.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  The scene is a backyard summer on the lake. Drone-style shot comes in on all American summer party at the lake scene. Everyone's getting hot dogs and drinking Dew. There are coolers in the scene on the lawn, but nobody gets the Dews from the coolers. Instead, they are just being found from the most random places in the scene. Example, a big American flag on a flagpole, but wait, the flagpole has a latch door, and it's stocked with Mountain Dew. Someone's riding a jet ski. They park it on the beach, open up the hood. Instead of an engine, it's just stocked with ice cold Dew. We cut from the summer day scene to the sun, mostly set, and the party winding down. Bert's character, Tom, comes in at the end with goggles on. He's been working on a big drone display to make a drone American Dew art in the sky while fireworks explode. This is mostly just to keep Bert out of 90%

• 50:09Speaker 01

  of the reel so it can run smoothly.

• 50:11Speaker 00

  Well, we're gonna pass on that. Next one?

• 50:14Speaker 01

  You were really into it for a minute.

• 50:17Speaker 00

  Guy cannot read a room to save his fucking life.

• 50:19Speaker 01

  I know, you can't. I have to say, I really dig that one, man.

• 50:24Speaker 00

  Yeah. I love, I love that he described you as the nerdy ass, smart guy.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  I just, it's ridiculous. All right, Meat Sweats.

• 50:31Speaker 00

  He does not know who you are.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  Meat Sweat Dream by Kyle G. So 4th of July, you both

• 50:37Speaker 00

  Maybe it's Sweet Street.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  Oh, you might like this one. You both, or in parentheses, or just Bert, enter the hot dog eating contest. You're completely, you're competing against all the greats, including the current champ, Joey Chestnut, if not Tom. Bert wins by, but not by a small margin. He absolutely destroys the competition. Complete domination. But after the event, Bert is hit with extreme meat sweats, and in his delirium, he imagines everything USA. You're at a baseball game in full body paint, red, white, and Dew. Slammy hot dogs and Mountain Dew. The coach asks him to pinch hit, because it's Bert. He blasts a home run out of the park. The ball turns into an eagle on the way out of the stadium. Fireworks. The eagle turns into Bert, and he flies over America and sees people doing USA shit. Monster

• 51:19Speaker 01

  trucks, Statue of Liberty, Vegas, football, UFC, backyard wrestling. The ball lands in his backyard where his family's celebrating 4th of July. Tom cracks open a Mountain Dew, which brings Bert back to reality. The end.

• 51:30Speaker 00

  Ooh. Okay, I like that one. I like that one, but it's, I, once again, I feel like we needed it to be a tad bit more manageable, production-wise.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that one's like a fucking Odyssey budget. Okay.

• 51:41Speaker 00

  These guys are like, when, uh, when people pitch us movies, and they're like, like, actually, and you, and then you're like, well, I, I don't have $100 million to make this.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:52Speaker 00

  Like, we're, we're making it for Harvey more Cormack budgets.

• 51:55Speaker 01

  Right. Um, here's another one. Car Wash. Um, Tom and Bert are working at a car wash that is packed with customers. Bert is wearing Mountain Dew short shorts while pouring soapy water on windshields. Upbeat summer party music is blasting while patrons beg Bert to wash their car. Tom works at a lemonade stand in the same parking lot, selling cups of Mountain Dew. Across the street, another car wash with models are completely empty. The girls there are frustrated. One of the girl, the girl throws this, uh, throws a sign in anger.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  I like this.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  The ad ends with a hero shot of a can of Mountain Dew on a table in the foreground. In the background, out of focus, the models have now joined Tom and Bert's car wash. This is an easier one to produce, for sure.

• 52:35Speaker 00

  I like this a lot, because it's a, it's a, it's a formulaic commercial.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:39Speaker 00

  Car wash, people are going crazy. They're loving our car wash. They don't realize we're giving out Mountain Dews. Models are across the street. No one's there. There's a

• 52:49Speaker 01

  It's a throwback ad.

• 52:50Speaker 00

  Sudsy.

• 52:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:51Speaker 00

  I really like that. I actually

• 52:52Speaker 01

  That's a good one.

• 52:53Speaker 00

  That's a really great commercial. Thank you, Danielle.

• 52:56Speaker 01

  Danielle, nice job.

• 52:58Speaker 00

  No one's fighting a huge 12-foot eagle, but

• 53:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, we could throw an eagle in there, CGI it. I like it.

• 53:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:05Speaker 01

  Is there another one? There's one more. All right, Bert, I need you to focus. Tell me if this is the one.

• 53:11Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  Okay. It's a Mountain Dew sizzle reel. A bunch of boys hanging out Daytona Beach in lawn chairs with their trucks, blasting music, tossing the football around, sipping on cans that look like beers.

• 53:22Speaker 00

  Okay, we're stopping right there. We're gonna stop right there. Very manageable. Keep going.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  A cop walks over, looks at the cans, and says, "You boys out here drink, you boys drinking out here?" One of us nervously replies, "Uh," then the other guy cuts in, "This isn't a beer, officer." The cop pauses. "It's an ice cold, refreshing Mountain Dew." The cop looks at the can, shrugs, cracks open his own Mountain Dew, and says, "Carry on." Cut to everyone cheering, including cops, cracking open Mountain Dews, enjoying the ultimate American summer day. Simple, funny, and feels like something that could actually happen. Thanks for considering, Cody.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  This tickles you?

• 53:57Speaker 01

  What's, what is?

• 53:58Speaker 00

  It's only lacking

• 54:01Speaker 01

  Fun?

• 54:09Speaker 00

  It's just, it's like, something that could just happen.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's just, there's, he's just like, is that a beer? We're like, no. He's like, all right.

• 54:19Speaker 01

  That's the, that's the idea. Are you drinking beer?

• 54:21Speaker 00

  No.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 54:22Speaker 00

  No, it's Mountain Dew and the cop goes, oh, my bad.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  My bad.

• 54:25Speaker 00

  And then he just keeps walking.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  He walks away.

• 54:28Speaker 00

  I love it. I love it.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  The most anticlimactic commercial.

• 54:33Speaker 00

  We could do a series of these.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  We could do a series, yeah.

• 54:36Speaker 00

  A library and the librarian goes, shh. And he goes, sorry, I'm drinking a Mountain Dew. And she goes, I didn't know.

• 54:42Speaker 01

  I didn't know.

• 54:49Speaker 01

  You like that?

• 54:53Speaker 01

  Or we could be at a baseball game and the guy comes by and we're like, can we get a beer? He's like, I only have Mountain Dew. And we're like, we'll take that and then end of commercial.

• 55:02Speaker 01

  We'll take what you have.

• 55:04Speaker 00

  That's so fun. Why is that so funny to me? It's just, it's like the buildup and then nothing happened.

• 55:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's really funny. You could have someone at a dinner party, you know, come to your place. Dude, I would love a cocktail. And you're like, I only have Mountain Dew. And they're like, okay.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  End of commercial.

• 55:27Speaker 01

  There you go. I think we have to go with the simple one. I like this.

• 55:29Speaker 00

  I think it's the best one. I mean, I think that's really is my favorite one and really put some production value into it.

• 55:35Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 55:36Speaker 00

  I really think that's a brilliant fucking idea. Why does that make me laugh so hard? I mean, the other one's great, but this is so.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  It's because there's no actual turn. That's what's making you laugh. He's just like, that's all you, is that it? And you're like, yeah. He's like, all right.

• 55:51Speaker 00

  Hold on. Who are we casting as the cop?

• 55:55Speaker 01

  We should get a great actor. Should get like a really good actor.

• 55:59Speaker 00

  We should get a really great actor to play the cop.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  John Berenthal.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  John Berenthal.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  John Berenthal.

• 56:05Speaker 00

  Do you think John Berenthal would do it?

• 56:07Speaker 01

  I mean, you can always ask. That's what they say. You can always ask.

• 56:10Speaker 00

  If we get John Berenthal to play the cop.

• 56:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. He's played cops before.

• 56:14Speaker 00

  He's a great fucking cop.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  Phenomenal, tough. He's like a tough.

• 56:18Speaker 00

  Tough.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, I like it.

• 56:21Speaker 00

  Let's get, let's, let's get a fucking really great John Berenthal.

• 56:25Speaker 01

  Imagine that guy right there, like, you boys drinking beer? And we're like, no, it's Mountain Dew.

• 56:30Speaker 00

  No, and our answers are like this, like, like get into character. I want to hear your no.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:35Speaker 00

  Okay, uh, I'll go, I'll be John Berenthal.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:39Speaker 00

  Hey.

• 56:42Speaker 00

  You, uh, you drinking beer?

• 56:46Speaker 01

  No, this is Mountain Dew.

• 56:48Speaker 00

  Oh, so good. It's already fucking brilliant. I mean, it's just, this, this needs nothing.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:56Speaker 00

  I love this.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  I pulled over? It could be pulled over.

• 56:59Speaker 00

  Oh dude, there's a series of these.

• 57:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, just like walks up to the window. You been drinking? Like, just Mountain Dew. All right.

• 57:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  That's it. End of the commercial.

• 57:11Speaker 00

  We can bang out hundreds of these.

• 57:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:13Speaker 00

  All we need is a cop uniform and a Mountain Dew.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, so easy.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  Cops show up at the house.

• 57:24Speaker 01

  We heard, uh, we got a report of some loud noise from here. You guys been drinking?

• 57:29Speaker 01

  Mountain Dew? All right.

• 57:32Speaker 00

  All right.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Have a good night. And these walk away.

• 57:35Speaker 00

  Fool me once. They just walk away.

• 57:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, these are, that's a hit. That's the one to go with.

• 57:41Speaker 00

  These are hits, these are hits.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  We have to push, this is the one we're going. We're just going with like, are you drinking? No, this is Mountain Dew. And he goes, carry on. And that's it. Cut to black.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  And everyone's like, is that the commercial? Yeah.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  We got it, guys. We got it.

• 58:01Speaker 00

  We got it.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  Oh, send your submissions, by the way, to [email protected]. That's the number two, the word bears, the number one, the word cave at gmail.com. That's where you send your great American summer memories.

• 58:17Speaker 00

  And next episode, we're going to go through your submissions and we will pull out. And by the way, if you have a really horrible idea, send that to us as well. And we will then highlight that and say, oh, that's not what we can do, but we do enjoy it.

• 58:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 00

  And making us laugh is the goal.

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Yes, please, please try to make us laugh. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American original tasting great since 48.

• 58:38Speaker 00

  Can I, can I tell you something that I did not like and I didn't realize?

• 58:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:43Speaker 00

  Until afterwards and I know.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't think you needed this cast, like the cast. I was like, why do you have?

• 58:48Speaker 00

  By the way, wait, what? Travis Scott? Who the fuck is Travis Scott?

• 58:53Speaker 01

  You don't remember him? He's the first actor you've seen in a movie.

• 58:55Speaker 00

  No, I know who Travis Scott is. He's got the sneakers.

• 58:57Speaker 01

  You're right. And in the movie, he's like, these are my new drops. And then he does the ding, ding, like hitting the floor with the big post, you know? The big, whatever it is. That's Travis Scott.

• 59:08Speaker 00

  Hold on.

• 59:10Speaker 01

  You what?

• 59:13Speaker 01

  What?

• 59:15Speaker 00

  All right, I'd like to change my opinion. I now officially hate The Odyssey.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Why, what happened?

• 59:19Speaker 00

  That's Travis Scott?

• 59:21Speaker 01

  That's Travis Scott, yeah.

• 59:22Speaker 00

  Why?

• 59:23Speaker 01

  Well, the whole thing is why? That's my point is like.

• 59:25Speaker 00

  Why? Wait, hold on.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Why do you have?

• 59:28Speaker 00

  Why is Travis Scott?

• 59:29Speaker 01

  I actually think it takes away from some of the story that you're like.

• 59:32Speaker 00

  I just thought it was a, oh, man.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  But why do you have Charlize Theron on screen for eight minutes? Like, that should be, I don't know. I feel like that's a distraction.

• 59:40Speaker 00

  She looks so good.

• 59:41Speaker 01

  She looks amazing.

• 59:41Speaker 00

  She looks so good. And by the way, she's a great actress. You forget, you forget all our stars that were, and I say ours, but our age stars. Charlize Theron, Cameron Diaz, fucking Uma. We had the best actresses ever.

• 59:55Speaker 01

  Charlize over 50, right? She looks unbelievable.

• 59:58Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:59Speaker 00

  She's gotta be, and she looks incredible. If she's 56, I'm going to punch Leanne tonight.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  She's 51. She's 51.

• 1:00:05Speaker 00

  Okay, good. Thank God.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:06Speaker 00

  Thank God.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  She just turned 51.

• 1:00:08Speaker 00

  Uh, thank God.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  You were going to punch Leanne?

• 1:00:12Speaker 00

  Oh, fucking, uh, and, and put a picture of Charlize Theron on my fit. I shouldn't say that. I know that that's going to get clipped out.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  That's all right. Let it go.

• 1:00:20Speaker 00

  Wait, Pedro Pascal is in it?

• 1:00:24Speaker 01

  Where?

• 1:00:24Speaker 00

  Oh, that's John Leguizamo, my bad.

• 1:00:28Speaker 00

  That does look like Pedro. Pedro Pascal's gay.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:32Speaker 00

  Did you know him? Yeah. You knew that?

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Speaker 00

  Shut the fuck up.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  You didn't think that was well known for a while?

• 1:00:40Speaker 00

  I have, I just found out the other day.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, he's gay. Um, Leguizamo is fantastic in the movie, though.

• 1:00:47Speaker 00

  No, can I tell you who's great?

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  He is so fucking good in this movie.

• 1:00:51Speaker 00

  Himesh Patel is my favorite.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Himesh Patel?

• 1:00:55Speaker 00

  Himesh Patel.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, he was great. He was great.

• 1:00:59Speaker 00

  I sent him a DM. By the way, losing his hair and it didn't, I didn't pull me out of, like, losing his hair did not pull me out. I love that his hair loss looked kind of, kind of cool.

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:01:10Speaker 00

  Right?

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:11Speaker 00

  Uh, dude, hits all the markers for me. It's like, like, like clearly, and I hope this doesn't come off insensitive, Indian dude in the middle of this Greek Trojan War, Indian guy.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  No, I, I never thought about that.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  Didn't pull me out of it.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  At any point.

• 1:01:27Speaker 00

  Should have pulled me out of it culturally. I should say, watch and I'll go, where the fuck did the Indian guy come from?

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  Uh huh. No, I never thought that.

• 1:01:36Speaker 00

  We're talking about Greece. We're talking, wait, there's a black guy? We're talking about Greece?

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  Yep, yep, yep.

• 1:01:42Speaker 00

  But it didn't pull me out. I didn't do that. I said, I said, I like this guy a lot. And by the way, he's got a British accent, didn't use it, I think.

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  Great.

• 1:01:51Speaker 00

  And you know what movies? You know what movie, other movie he was in?

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:01:54Speaker 00

  The Sing a Song, Sing, Sing, Sing, Sing.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  Sing, sing?

• 1:01:59Speaker 00

  What was the movie? Sing, Sing, Sing a Song? Sing, Sing, Sing a So, Yesterday, that's it.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Oh. What? Okay.

• 1:02:06Speaker 00

  He was in Yesterday. He was great in Yesterday.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  He's a great actor, man. There's a great performances.

• 1:02:11Speaker 00

  My favorite actor's in the movie and he crushed it, John Berenthal.

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  Nat Man. That's what I call him.

• 1:02:17Speaker 00

  Fucking, what are you, Nat Man?

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  Nat Man, yeah. Um, no, he was great in it. He's always so intense. Everything is so goddamn intense with him. Um, but I really thought Leguizamo was really fantastic in it.

• 1:02:30Speaker 00

  Leguizamo was fucking great. You know, I think people sleep on just how great of a, a talent, all around talent he is. When everyone was doing HBO specials, he did a one man show. Do you remember that? This is like 80s, 90s.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  Of course, yeah. He was the one that was like, he was the Latino voice that was, uh, bringing to you like the characters that he grew up around. Like people, and it was like, yeah, it was, and he was, he's an incredible character actor. He was really great, man.

• 1:02:59Speaker 00

  One of my, one thing I think of all the time is, I think he was in a movie, Summer of Sam or was, was he in? He was the cop in Summer of Sam, right?

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  Son of Sam?

• 1:03:10Speaker 00

  No, what was the, he was in?

• 1:03:13Speaker 01

  Was it called Summer of Sam?

• 1:03:14Speaker 00

  Son of Sam, maybe?

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Oh, Summer of Sam, you're right.

• 1:03:17Speaker 00

  Summer of Sam?

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  About Son of Sam, yeah.

• 1:03:20Speaker 00

  And there was a line in there, he's fucking a girl in the ass in the back of a car. And he goes, and she says to him, aren't you married? And he goes, yeah, I don't do this to my wife. She's not a whore.

• 1:03:35Speaker 01

  That's a great one to remember.

• 1:03:37Speaker 00

  Isn't that crazy, the things I remember?

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  Crazy. That crazy line.

• 1:03:44Speaker 00

  Is that wild?

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's great.

• 1:03:48Speaker 00

  Can I say this real quick?

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:50Speaker 00

  Uh, random porosos plug, I've gotta say this. Porosos, people of Florida, is now in Frenchie's. One of my favorite bars that I grew up going to is at Frenchie's. Now, there are five Frenchie's, they're all over. The one I'm talking about, on Clearwater Beach, you can put your toes in the sand, feed the seagulls, have a grouper sandwich, and get a glass of porosos and soda at Frenchie's in Clearwater Beach. If you do, please tag me in that photo. Send me a picture of you with a glass of porosos with the sunset. The sun sets beautifully from the seats at Frenchie's in Clearwater Beach. I am so excited, porosos is in Clearwater Beach.

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  A shout out, first of all, to your hometown, to Tampa, and to MacDill Air Force Base for a couple of weeks ago. Like, we went all over the city, we did stores, we did bars, and then we rounded it up by doing MacDill Air Force Base, and it was hundreds of people. Thank you so much to the base and to all you that came out. It was a really, really fun experience. I just want to say thank you all very much.

• 1:04:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:55Speaker 01

  Um, that was awesome.

• 1:04:56Speaker 00

  That was great, and I think I second Tom when I, when I say the sexiest thing in the world is a black woman in uniform.

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  And I said it first.

• 1:05:07Speaker 00

  I said it to you, and then you just agreed, but then I took your agreeance, and I agreed with you.

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, thanks so much, man, yeah.

• 1:05:14Speaker 00

  Fucking, there is nothing sexier than a black woman in fatigues. It is. I, I mean, I, no, no, no, right now, there's, do you know what I did after that, Tom? I drove around a military base. I drove around it, yeah, you can, you have access to everything.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  It's a huge base.

• 1:05:30Speaker 00

  Dude, you can go up to their homes, like the Colonel's homes.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Did you do that?

• 1:05:35Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, did you walk up and knock on the door?

• 1:05:38Speaker 00

  No, I didn't knock on the door, but you could, you could have.

• 1:05:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, so it's incredible, the bases, people don't, I mean, you have no reason to understand if you've never been, that a base is just a city with, like, security clearance. It's a whole fucking city. It has everything, schools, some of them have schools on them, and stores, and everything is right there on base. It's, it's enormous.

• 1:06:00Speaker 00

  I was blown away at the fact that my assistant Kyle was a high-ranking officer in the army.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:07Speaker 00

  And that had he not gotten injured, and he stayed in the army, I would have respected him.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  And you'd no longer feel that way.

• 1:06:16Speaker 00

  I don't know, now I don't respect him at all. I, I remember I tried to get the lieutenant to make Kyle do pushups.

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was like, I'm not doing that.

• 1:06:21Speaker 00

  And then Kyle was like, Kyle was explaining to me, no, do you understand, like, I was pretty high up in the military? And it's so crazy that, it's almost like, it's almost like, looking at things in a different perspective, is like, Kyle is that guy's age.

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  And it was crazy, because Kyle was real clear, like, I'm, I was an officer, and we were like, you kind of have enlisted energy, though.

• 1:06:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, right?

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:45Speaker 00

  And then, and then, and then, and then, he, you could see, like, he stood different, like, the second he got around that, he got stood different. I mean, I respect Kyle, I don't disrespect Kyle, but, but it's like, I don't look at him the way, that guy came in, and I was like, yes, sir, no, sir, and he was younger than me. And then the one that was retiring, the, the beautiful sergeant, whatever.

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:06Speaker 00

  Uh, she was, I, I, like, I respected her, and then I looked at Kyle, and Kyle was one of their peers.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Speaker 00

  And I was like, get me a soda?

• 1:07:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, he was like.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, you treated him real cool, man.

• 1:07:22Speaker 00

  But it's so crazy.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's pretty wild, it's, it's wild, um, he was, he was in it, man, didn't he, was he in combat? I forget.

• 1:07:31Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  No, okay. I remember.

• 1:07:34Speaker 00

  He, he, uh, he, uh, he, he ran, like, he was in charge of, like, fucking, like, a thousand dudes, or a thousand people.

• 1:07:42Speaker 01

  That's pretty impressive, man.

• 1:07:44Speaker 00

  Who do you think has the sexiest, sexiest military?

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  The sexiest?

• 1:07:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, top to bottom, like, real quick.

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  Oh, I think it would be, I think it's clear, isn't it in Brunei, where he's got, like, all dimes, like, guarding him? Isn't that, it's one of these guys in Asia, who, his, his, like, security is, like, all female?

• 1:08:07Speaker 00

  Pull it up.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  I'm pretty sure. If it's not Brunei, we can find it, but it's, it's pretty funny.

• 1:08:15Speaker 00

  If he's got all dimes guarding him, he can get touched.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:08:20Speaker 00

  Fucking, come on.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  I'm almost certain of this, is somebody pulling it up?

• 1:08:24Speaker 00

  I will haymake my way through a fucking gang of dimes.

• 1:08:28Speaker 01

  Well, I think they're pretty serious, though.

• 1:08:30Speaker 00

  Chicks.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  I think, dude, I might be.

• 1:08:33Speaker 00

  What percentage of women do you think you could beat up?

• 1:08:36Speaker 01

  A lot.

• 1:08:36Speaker 00

  In the world, in the world, do you think you could beat up Sophia Cunningham? Clark, Sophia Clark?

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  The basketball player?

• 1:08:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a pretty bad bitch.

• 1:08:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you could beat her in a fight, dude.

• 1:08:50Speaker 00

  She's, she's, it's like a judo champion or something.

• 1:08:53Speaker 01

  Is she?

• 1:08:54Speaker 00

  I don't know, I just.

• 1:08:55Speaker 01

  Oh, I think for the most part, you could probably handle most women, with the exception of, there's some real fucking animals out there, always, there's a few.

• 1:09:03Speaker 00

  Right.

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  And then, well, now, I'm separating that, I'm saying in the, in gen pop, there's some psycho women that, you know, are incredibly violent, and that could.

• 1:09:11Speaker 00

  Incredibly violent.

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's some, and they're, and size-wise, like, powerful, and then, like, once you get into trained fighters, some of them could, for sure, fuck you up bad.

• 1:09:20Speaker 00

  So, percentage of women, do you think you could beat up 90% of women?

• 1:09:23Speaker 01

  Oh, it was Gaddafi, right? Was it Gaddafi?

• 1:09:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:26Speaker 01

  But did, is Brunei not do that?

• 1:09:28Speaker 00

  Whoa, whoa, look at this fucking military.

• 1:09:30Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying, he used to do this.

• 1:09:32Speaker 00

  Amazonian guard, they, they guard amazon.com?

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  This, oh, boy, this was, that was awful.

• 1:09:43Speaker 01

  It was him and his bodyguards, that's right. So, does Brunei do that?

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  Uh, they have female guards in military, but they don't look like them.

• 1:09:52Speaker 01

  Okay, you're like, we checked, and it's not like this. Um, yeah, but I'm, come on, that was his thing, he always, he always had chicks with him. That's hilarious. That's Gaddafi, man, rest in peace, he was a, he was a great guy.

• 1:10:07Speaker 00

  He was responsible for Pan Am, the Pan Am bombing.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, other than that, sorry, take that, I meant, he, he had a good heart before then.

• 1:10:15Speaker 00

  Dude, I didn't realize, have you seen that doc on Netflix, uh, the Pan Am bombing?

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  No, is it good?

• 1:10:20Speaker 00

  That plane, it's, it's, it was a mini-series, but that plane landed on Lockerbie, like, the village, and killed people in the village, like, it landed on houses.

• 1:10:32Speaker 01

  I did not realize that.

• 1:10:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, you, you always think about, like, airplane crashes, you know?

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  In fields and stuff?

• 1:10:37Speaker 00

  In fields, and this one landed in a village, and by the way, they show the, uh, they show the footage, and it's like, there's a dead dude in a field in his chair. Like, that's not real footage, it's obviously staged, but, um, and then I thought to myself, because this is how beautiful it is to have my brain these days, what would you rather, if you, you're gonna die in a plane crash, right?

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:11:02Speaker 00

  Where would you rather die? In a field, in a village, or at sea?

• 1:11:08Speaker 01

  If you're gonna die in a crash?

• 1:11:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:11Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:11:12Speaker 00

  Because basically, I'm talking about, because there's another great doc on, uh, on Netflix about the, the Dreamliner, it is eight, seven, eight, seven, and they show the Swiss air that died in the fucking water, Tom?

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:24Speaker 00

  And they had dudes in scuba diving, like, bell helmets, going down, and they show the, how terrifying do you think that job is? To put on a bell helmet, go to, what, I, I, I'm with that kind of oxygen, I'm guess you're going to, like, fucking a hundred meters under the ground, underwater?

• 1:11:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:44Speaker 00

  And then seeing bodies in their seats, so that you can find the black box, sitting between two pilots that are like.

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  No, I, I think you probably don't want to go out that, like, that, mostly because, too, like, there's also chances that no one ever recovers you, and like, you know, your family would never get the call, they'd be like, we think he's down there, so it's probably better to die in the field.

• 1:12:05Speaker 00

  The field, I think.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think the field, that's, that's what you think about.

• 1:12:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:12:10Speaker 01

  So crazy. Did you see, have you ever watched, it's a couple, it's a couple of years old, but I just decided to watch Chimp Empire, did you ever see that?

• 1:12:19Speaker 00

  I've never seen Chimp Empire.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  It's so fucking amazing, it is the best reality show you have ever seen in your life, and it is so close to, you know, it's right there with human behavior, like, you're watching it, and you're like, oh, yeah, that's, that's that guy. Like, you, you see the loner, you see the asshole, you see the exhausted mother, you see them all, and you think that the camera, I didn't, I, I looked it up, obviously, you're like, oh, what kind of, I don't understand how this is being shot, like, are these drone cameras? It's just guys out there, hand-held cameras, and chimps going berserk around, you're like,

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  this is, and the only reason that chimps didn't rip them apart is because these particular chimps have been studied by humans for 25 years, so they're used to a human pres- dude, the biggest chimp in recorded history is in this group, okay? This fucking absolute, just Hulk-like chimp, and they're, yeah, all the time, they're just like, oh, ah, ah, and going crazy, and the, the guys are just like, fucking, standing there filming this shit, it's nuts, and it's such an incredible story.

• 1:13:33Speaker 00

  It's such a no-brainer, right? So, as you make reality shows, and I, as someone who casted a reality show, meaning, like, on Trip Flip, we would cast it, you'd find them.

• 1:13:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:44Speaker 00

  And it was, the dumber the people, the better the show you would get.

• 1:13:48Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, and this is like a bunch of dumb people in it.

• 1:13:51Speaker 00

  And they're like, why take, let's get the person out of it, let's take the dumbest, let's go to chimp, why even have them put mics on, just take chimps?

• 1:14:00Speaker 01

  It's so great, it's so.

• 1:14:02Speaker 00

  So, I'm, can't wait to watch it.

• 1:14:04Speaker 01

  It's.

• 1:14:04Speaker 00

  And, and do they date each other, and then they blow, like, blow a candle out?

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  It has everything, it has, it has courting, romance, children being born, incredible, like, territorial fights, war with another group, it has violence, yes, it has everything.

• 1:14:22Speaker 00

  Chimp Empire.

• 1:14:23Speaker 01

  It's the best, and it's a couple of years old, but I just watched it, I was like, this is the best thing I've ever seen, it's so good. I want to know this, by the way, can you look this up, guys? Who, because they gotta keep studying this group, just say, like, who is the new alpha in the central group? That's the question, I want to know who replaced Jackson, I gotta know.

• 1:14:48Speaker 01

  Let's see, do they have an answer? I'm assuming they would know. Abrams, of course, of course.

• 1:14:54Speaker 00

  Are you spoiling this for me?

• 1:14:56Speaker 01

  Who cares? You won't remember any of this.

• 1:15:03Speaker 00

  Chimp Empire.

• 1:15:04Speaker 01

  It's so fantastic. And yes, if you hadn't watched it, I just ruined a really central storyline.

• 1:15:13Speaker 00

  And I feel bad. I ruined a lot of Bus Boys storylines.

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  I think we all got it. I think we got it. We're good. We can still watch it. Yeah.

• 1:15:22Speaker 01

  This is fucking so exciting. You're gonna love this, dude.

• 1:15:26Speaker 00

  I can't wait. I can't wait. I'm gonna watch it today. I got a big thing planned for Leanne's birthday.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:32Speaker 00

  I got the girls. I got, girls and Leanne are getting massages. I'm gonna meet up with them a little bit.

• 1:15:39Speaker 00

  I think my drinking's back to like regular again.

• 1:15:42Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 1:15:43Speaker 00

  It's, well, you saw it. It's still muted a little bit, but it's, it's getting close. We're getting close.

• 1:15:50Speaker 01

  That's awesome, dude.

• 1:15:51Speaker 00

  And then we got a concert tomorrow. We're going to see Mount Joy.

• 1:15:54Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 1:15:54Speaker 00

  Band. It's a great band. It's like, do you remember that band I played you in the, in the?

• 1:15:59Speaker 01

  I do. I do. Yes.

• 1:16:00Speaker 00

  You like them, didn't you?

• 1:16:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. And you got, you found another parallel band?

• 1:16:04Speaker 00

  I find, that's all I do. I'm a tastemaker.

• 1:16:07Speaker 01

  You're a tastemaker.

• 1:16:08Speaker 00

  I wouldn't be shocked if Guinness called me.

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  Where are you gonna see the band?

• 1:16:12Speaker 00

  Uh, at the Greek.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  Oh, great. It's one of the best.

• 1:16:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's one of the best venues. The, I just went to the Hollywood Bowl and saw, and saw

• 1:16:24Speaker 00

  Black Crowning Crows. No, Counting Black.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  Black Counting Crows?

• 1:16:27Speaker 00

  Black Crows. I saw Black Crows.

• 1:16:28Speaker 01

  Black Crows?

• 1:16:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, Black Crows.

• 1:16:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. How was it?

• 1:16:31Speaker 00

  It was fucked. Chris, Chris Robinson might be our last true rock star.

• 1:16:38Speaker 01

  I saw them in concert twenty-five years ago.

• 1:16:42Speaker 00

  Dude.

• 1:16:42Speaker 01

  In Charlotte.

• 1:16:43Speaker 00

  Still is good.

• 1:16:45Speaker 01

  And I remember that he yelled at the crowd.

• 1:16:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:48Speaker 01

  For, because people were, some people were sitting. He's like, you're not watching fucking television. Stand up.

• 1:16:54Speaker 00

  I love it.

• 1:16:55Speaker 01

  It was great. It was great.

• 1:16:57Speaker 00

  I love it. I saw him and he was in total rock star mode. I went backstage, ended up backstage, went to the after party.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:03Speaker 00

  And he was listening to some fucking avant garde, you know, it's, not to go back to Bus Boys, but something that only he got, like, you know, like, it was like an old school nineteen seventies from like Deep in the Purple Gang, like Laurel Canyon style, uh, LA rock star song. And he was dancing and wasn't drinking, just dancing. And I went up and I was like, hey, thanks for having us. And he just dancing and smiling, gave me a hug. And was like, hey, Bert, I, you gotta check this out. Ow, ow. And I was like, wow, man. Like, you know, rock stars aren't dead. Like, that's the beauty of, like, when you go to like a rock concert in LA,

• 1:17:47Speaker 00

  everyone's got bangle bracelets on and they got like, they got like an outfit and they got a look and a vibe. And you got the, the dude that's sixty-five, who's probably sober, smoking a cigar outside and like every, it's kind of sexy, like standups, you know, standup is,

• 1:18:06Speaker 00

  standup tried to take the reins of rock and roll, I think, for a period of time, but man, you're never gonna beat rock stars. Aging rock stars.

• 1:18:13Speaker 01

  Did you watch the fucking New York Times interview with Mick Jagger?

• 1:18:18Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  It's so fucking good. It's so.

• 1:18:20Speaker 00

  New York Times is killing it with their interviews. Stavvy, Mick Jagger, who's next?

• 1:18:24Speaker 01

  The Mick Jagger ones, it's great. He's so, so candid and it's great.

• 1:18:28Speaker 00

  Oh, oh, yes. Wait, is this where they were like, where they were like, they asked him something about something like an average person would answer and he was like, yeah, I don't know.

• 1:18:41Speaker 01

  Like, I'm Mick Jagger. Probably. Prob, I don't know. They had, he had this really great take on fame and like.

• 1:18:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What was the take? Can you, can you play the clip? For people that haven't seen it, can you play the clips? I wanna see it. I think I saw a bit of it on Instagram.

• 1:18:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I guess. Can we pull it up?

• 1:18:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:18:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's great.

• 1:18:59Speaker 00

  When you got something big to promote, Tom, fucking New York Times is the place to go.

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's.

• 1:19:06Speaker 00

  What's, what's Stavvy promoting, by the way? We should probably pimp out whatever he's promoting.

• 1:19:11Speaker 03

  I think Tires, season three is a big one right now.

• 1:19:13Speaker 00

  No, no, no, it's not tires. He's not promoting tires. He's promoting Anthony Bourdain's movie.

• 1:19:18Speaker 03

  Tony.

• 1:19:19Speaker 00

  Tony.

• 1:19:21Speaker 01

  What is that? I don't even know what that is.

• 1:19:23Speaker 00

  It's a movie about Anthony Bourdain. They used to call him Tony.

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  It's a scripted story about his life or something?

• 1:19:30Speaker 00

  I think, yeah. It's a feature film and Stavvy's in it. It's about, you know, young Anthony Bourdain, but they called him Tony.

• 1:19:37Speaker 01

  Got it. Yeah.

• 1:19:38Speaker 00

  That's the Tony part.

• 1:19:40Speaker 01

  I understand. I'm not confused.

• 1:19:43Speaker 00

  It's like, you know who Robert, Robert Redford, Robert, the actor is?

• 1:19:50Speaker 01

  Robert Redford?

• 1:19:51Speaker 00

  No, the other one, the Italian one.

• 1:19:52Speaker 01

  De Niro?

• 1:19:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:19:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:55Speaker 00

  Close friends call him Bobby.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I knew that. Or Bob. Yeah.

• 1:19:58Speaker 00

  Yeah. You don't understand that. Tommy.

• 1:20:02Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 1:20:02Speaker 00

  No one does it to me. It's just Bert.

• 1:20:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, Tommy for me is like family, close friends.

• 1:20:08Speaker 00

  And me.

• 1:20:10Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:20:11Speaker 00

  I call you Tommy.

• 1:20:12Speaker 01

  I said family, close friends.

• 1:20:13Speaker 00

  Yep, and me.

• 1:20:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're in the friends part.

• 1:20:16Speaker 00

  No, I know. I know, but I never greenlit it through you. I just started doing it. I never like, hey, man, is it cool if I call you Tommy?

• 1:20:22Speaker 01

  That is true. You did not do that.

• 1:20:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, I just started calling you Tommy.

• 1:20:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're, you're a tastemaker. You're a trendsetter.

• 1:20:28Speaker 00

  I'm a tastemaker.

• 1:20:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. All right, here's the, here's a clip. You're insane. Go ahead. John Mulaney special, where he does a bit about working with you on Saturday Night Live.

• 1:20:39Speaker 04

  If you do that for fifty years, you're never again gonna be like, um, does anyone have a laptop charger I could borrow, you know?

• 1:20:45Speaker 01

  Can you articulate how that's changed you as a person?

• 1:20:48Speaker 05

  It's not like most people's lives.

• 1:20:50Speaker 01

  No, it's not.

• 1:20:51Speaker 05

  It's not. Of course, my personality on stage is not. My, I have a friend who, who says, you know, standing joke is that I behave at a dinner party like I behave on stage. So.

• 1:21:02Speaker 01

  Was that friend right?

• 1:21:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, we, we make jokes about it. It's because it's absurd what you do on stage. And of course, I'm not really like, my stage persona, they always hope that you're a normal, so-called normal person.

• 1:21:14Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 1:21:14Speaker 00

  Great. There's a great, there's a great question to lean into you. Okay?

• 1:21:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:19Speaker 00

  It's a great question. Cause I have, I'll, I'll let you answer, ask me the same question. Has it, how much has it changed you? Like, when you look at that, and like, there's certain things that I know,

• 1:21:32Speaker 00

  fame, for lack of a better word, or success changed in me. There's things that I watched it change that were bad in me. And then I watched, there's things that are, I think has changed that are good in me. And then, but I'm, but I, and I'm wondering how much I've changed, but I'm gonna put it to you. Like, you, you first got famous when you were, what, thirty-three?

• 1:21:52Speaker 01

  Uh, probably thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-five, I think.

• 1:21:56Speaker 00

  Thirty-five. That is the formidable time of developing as a human.

• 1:21:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:00Speaker 00

  How much has it changed you?

• 1:22:02Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 1:22:02Speaker 00

  Do you think?

• 1:22:03Speaker 01

  I don't know. I, I think the thing that I, I personally would relate to the most of what he said was when he said, like, you have to, like, manufacture this thing if you don't feel like you're a big persona. You know, like, I've always felt, I think you know, like, more reserved, um, you know, like, we walk into a thing together. I'm always happy that you're there being like, hey, what's up, ba, ba, ba, ba, like fucking fireworks. Because I just go like, how's it going? And the, so like, a lot of attention offstage for me has always been weird. I always feel like it's, I, I don't need it, but like, it come, it comes with like what we do. And I've always felt

• 1:22:46Speaker 01

  like somewhat, it takes a lot of getting, getting used to that for me. Like, it's always been something that's strange for me. But I love doing, I love what we, what we do on stage. I love that part a lot. So, I think, yeah, there's an adjustment, but I think it's also good that it didn't happen to me at twenty-one or twenty-five. I think that'd be a whole different experience. That's way tougher.

• 1:23:07Speaker 00

  Tough one.

• 1:23:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was already like a grown man.

• 1:23:11Speaker 00

  I was a grown up when I got famous. Like, I was an older grown up and, uh, but I, I think I identified with the part where he goes, there are people that can't turn it off.

• 1:23:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:21Speaker 00

  And I'm that guy. Like, I am.

• 1:23:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:23Speaker 00

  I am almost identical at a dinner party as I am on stage.

• 1:23:27Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:23:28Speaker 00

  As I am on a podcast, as I'm.

• 1:23:29Speaker 01

  You're very different, you're very different one-on-one. When they're, you're a true extrovert, so what I see with you is that I see that people around you gives you energy. Right? So like, when you're, the more people around, the more I see you just, like, it's like a fuel where like, it stays for you. I'm the complete opposite. Where the more people around, the more I turn inwards and like wanna shut down. I like a small group of people. I feel more like myself around that. And I feel the opposite around a lot of people.

• 1:24:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. It's funny, we know people that have got famous in their twenties and then people that got famous in their thirties, people that got famous in their forties.

• 1:24:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:14Speaker 01

  It's very different to have.

• 1:24:15Speaker 00

  It really is. I'm really grateful I got famous later in life.

• 1:24:18Speaker 01

  It's probably best for you. You probably be dead.

• 1:24:19Speaker 00

  I would have blown through this money.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  You'd be dead.

• 1:24:23Speaker 00

  I would be dead.

• 1:24:24Speaker 01

  All right. Go watch Bus Boys, at least thirty-six minutes of it, and then check out Chimp Empire. If you wanna LOL, go see The Odyssey in theaters. And then, anything else?

• 1:24:38Speaker 00

  Uh, oh, thank you.

• 1:24:40Speaker 01

  Oh, thanks to.

• 1:24:41Speaker 00

  Guinness Book of World Records.

• 1:24:42Speaker 01

  Guinness people.

• 1:24:43Speaker 00

  For probably telling one of the most likables, you know, whatever.

• 1:24:47Speaker 01

  Things ever. And we'll reach out to Ben Hill Griffin Stadium and see if we can get you the next one, the hundred thousand.

• 1:24:56Speaker 00

  And check out Stavvy's new movie, Tony.

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:24:58Speaker 00

  In theaters.

• 1:25:00Speaker 01

  And that's it. We'll see you guys next week.

• 1:25:26Speaker 05

  From the studio that brought you WandaVision. I was an Avenger, but I'm not a hero anymore.

• 1:25:34Speaker 05

  The Vision returns for the final chapter of the groundbreaking trilogy. That family wasn't real. You sure about that? I had a father called Vision. How is this possible? Don't miss the two-episode premiere of Marvel Television's Vision Quest. Nothing bonds a family together quite like mortal jeopardy. Now streaming only on Disney Plus.