Amir K & The Most Intimidating Man in Comedy

Comedian Amir K makes his 1st appearance. Check out the promos tab to tail any of our Super Sweat Milly winners Big Game lineups! If you tail a lineup that goes 3 for 3, you can win a split of $1 Million in promo funds! https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/BELLY Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to www.rocketmoney.com/belly https://www.rocketmoney.com/belly today. Go to www.helixsleep.com/belly https://www.helixsleep.com/belly for {{20% off sitewide + 2 free dream pillows with mattress purchase.}}. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:43Speaker 00

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• 1:26Bobby Lee?

  It's called professionalism, dude.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  Dude, you're so funny.

• 1:30Bobby Lee?

  Look at the environment, bro.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  I mean, Bobby takes-

• 1:32Bobby Lee?

  Look at the environment, bro.

• 1:34Speaker 02

  Dog, you take disheveled to a whole new level.

• 1:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah?

• 1:38Speaker 02

  1pm, just woke up. If I see him at the Comedy Store at 8pm, hey man. I just woke up.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  I just woke up.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  You just woke up too?

• 1:47Speaker 03

  I'm awake.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  I feel like you sleep in the garage. Sleeps here?

• 1:51Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:00Speaker 03

  Cool Mexican.

• 2:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no. You think you're the cool? Oh, wow, buddy. You think you're a cool Mexican?

• 2:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, right?

• 2:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  Hell, yeah.

• 2:09Bobby Lee?

  Well, I mean, there's two types, no?

• 2:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 2:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:12Bobby Lee?

  Um, there's the A bro, there's the MS-13 bro, right?

• 2:16Speaker 03

  That's me.

• 2:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and you're like the, "Oh, freehold, I could eat all the freeholders on this plate."

• 2:19Speaker 02

  No, he's like- I've been looking at the guy like in the, not even the front salesman, but you look like you work at Homeboy Bakeries.

• 2:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, dude, yeah, not in the front door.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  You know what I'm talking about?

• 2:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, not in the front door.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  The guy in the back that's like-

• 2:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the guy in the back.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  He's like, "Hey, you gotta try this pumpernickel."

• 2:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's you, dude.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  I'm trying to buy from this guy with that spider tattoos on his face, dude.

• 2:38Bobby Lee?

  Exactly. Where's those chicks, dude?

• 2:40Speaker 03

  You look like a guy who just smokes weed at the beach.

• 2:43Bobby Lee?

  Ooh!

• 2:48Bobby Lee?

  Rose battle, dude, oh. You look like, uh, Dora the Explorer if she ate too much empanada.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  Dude, Bobby is-

• 2:59Bobby Lee?

  Now, give me, now you give me one, bro.

• 3:01Speaker 03

  I can't do one, Bobby.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, help you out.

• 3:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, help, help, help me out.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  You, you look like a guy- Bobby looks like, you'll see it every now and then, but I just saw one at, in, in the Costco parking lot. An Asian dude that's kind of a hoarder.

• 3:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  And he's got all this bag in his car, but then he sells bonsai trees. He's got them sitting on his-

• 3:17Bobby Lee?

  Uh, I don't know.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  Dog.

• 3:19Bobby Lee?

  Dog, that was good, that was good, I mean. That was good, dude. The bonsai tree, that was, that was good, dude, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you legal? Cause they're, they're deporting now.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  Tell me he's still here, baby.

• 3:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, imagine if they had to deport him.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 3:30Bobby Lee?

  They could only pit, put two people in a plane.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  They're gonna need a cargo thing, thing.

• 3:37Bobby Lee?

  Hey, um, let's start.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Okay, I got one, I just made up one.

• 3:41Bobby Lee?

  All right. It, it takes him a while, but when he gets one, it's a zinger.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  James, I'm bending up.

• 3:47Bobby Lee?

  What, me?

• 3:48Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I thought we were doing Bobby.

• 3:49Bobby Lee?

  You do me, don't help him.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  All right, and this guy looks like he cries after sex.

• 3:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God. I get so real, dude, Jesus.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Hey, I'm gonna-

• 3:58Speaker 03

  Cause I do too.

• 3:58Bobby Lee?

  I do, dude, because I was molested.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 4:01Bobby Lee?

  Hi, man.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Hi, man.

• 4:03Bobby Lee?

  Say, hi, man. Thanks for bringing that up.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Are we even rolling?

• 4:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we are rolling.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  This guy's already talking about getting molested.

• 4:07Bobby Lee?

  I was brutally molested, but, okay, bring that up, dude. Yeah, what, you, what, you looking at the ingredients for the water? Yeah, that was a great, what's the calories on?

• 4:16Speaker 02

  That's a good ad for Mountain Valley. Have you been molested in a horrific way?

• 4:21Speaker 02

  Mountain Valley for when a Down syndrome molest you in a

• 4:24Bobby Lee?

  In a horrific way. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. You know, anyway, uh, let's start, um, welcome to a podcast. This next guy, the guy we have as a guest today, I've been wanting, what, 10 years on this program? And I don't know what the thing, it was George's fault, I think.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, this, yeah, the same number. I don't.

• 4:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, I know, I get it. But I have to open up by giving this guy some money here.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Oh, this is why he brought me?

• 4:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, hold on.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 4:50Bobby Lee?

  What's the story? I'll, I'll tell you in a sec. I wonder how much money?

• 4:53Speaker 02

  Bobby asked me, he's like, can I, can I blow you?

• 4:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh, damn.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  And I'm like, alright. He's like, I'll pay you. I said, fine. I said, what do, what's it for you? He goes, uh, trust me, it's good.

• 5:04Bobby Lee?

  It's good. One, two. Five hundred dollars.

• 5:08Speaker 02

  I can't believe you did this.

• 5:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I wanted to wait for this.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 5:13Bobby Lee?

  So this is, this is election money. This is, this is election money. You guys have a bet? Yeah, I thought, I thought Kamala Harris was gonna win.

• 5:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I thought Kamala was gonna win.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  They're laughing at you, bro. It's like, I was, I was thinking the same thing when we were talking about at the Comedy Store.

• 5:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, no, dude, you and your girlfriend, can I say your girlfriend or no?

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, sure.

• 5:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 5:35Bobby Lee?

  Um, the firefighter.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:37Bobby Lee?

  They were both in the green room.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:39Bobby Lee?

  At the Comedy Store.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:41Bobby Lee?

  And we were talking, it was right before the election, you guys are saying that, oh yeah, Trump's gonna landslide.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  I, I thought so, but, but I'll tell you why. So Bobby is like in this echo chamber of Hollywood and you know, these like little whatever you hangouts you go to. At the time, I was touring with Theo.

• 5:57Bobby Lee?

  You think I pool partner with Nancy Pelosi and fucking?

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, whatever you do, dude.

• 6:00Bobby Lee?

  Amy Lee Curtis.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  Having newsmanship, putting wax in his hair, whatever.

• 6:05Bobby Lee?

  Fucking me putting wax in?

• 6:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, whatever.

• 6:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, whatever us liberals do. Yeah, yeah.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Anyway.

• 6:11Bobby Lee?

  By the way, I'm not a liberal.

• 6:14Bobby Lee?

  By the way.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  No, but.

• 6:16Bobby Lee?

  I'm in the middle, by the way.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  So you were in the middle, but you were hearing all that stuff. So you were in like parties and stuff where people are talking about like, oh yeah, all this democratic shit. And I was touring with Theo in parts of the country with like arenas full of people that will fucking call you the N-word if you mention Biden.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  I was like in this world of like, oh my God, this is the whole country. Do you know what I mean?

• 6:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  And we're just living in this area and then after.

• 6:41Bobby Lee?

  You put that in your pocket though, please.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  No, why?

• 6:43Bobby Lee?

  Okay, leave it out, okay.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  Is it a dangerous area?

• 6:46Bobby Lee?

  I just want to take it back, that's why.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm taking it. I never thought this day would come, I forgot about it.

• 6:52Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'm a man of my word, we made a bet. I thought that it was gonna be a landslide because I'd been watching, you know, I thought the debate, you know, she had won the debate. I'm like, oh, this is good.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  She did win the debate, but then Trump went on all these podcasts. Dude, he went on podcasts, brother.

• 7:06Speaker 00

  And he got shot.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  And that, oh, that assassination.

• 7:10Bobby Lee?

  And the second attempt, there was two attempts, right?

• 7:12Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 7:13Bobby Lee?

  One, there was a guy named Bush or whatever.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Was there?

• 7:15Bobby Lee?

  When I say Bush, I mean George W. Bush, but my point is.

• 7:20Bobby Lee?

  Plan words.

• 7:23Bobby Lee?

  Did you vote? Me? No, I couldn't. Why? I was asleep. Oh, that's right. Did you register? Yeah, I registered. I don't think you did. I did. Then you're a liar. I can have, I have proof. Okay, and you fell asleep.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  Were you born here?

• 7:37Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm from Texas, man.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Hell, yeah.

• 7:40Bobby Lee?

  Dude, what he meant, bro, what he meant here is not. In America. Oh, yeah, I'm from Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think that's the best state? It is.

• 7:53Bobby Lee?

  Dude, would you, would you, would you concur or?

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Fuck, no, California is the best state. I mean, I don't agree with the politics here, but I think California is the best state.

• 8:00Bobby Lee?

  I agree. Man, we got guns out there. Okay, that's a good thing.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you also.

• 8:04Bobby Lee?

  I'm not saying in a war, okay, maybe you'll win. Yeah. Right, but that's not what I'm basing on, just in terms of like, um.

• 8:10Speaker 00

  Actually, in a war, who would win? I think California.

• 8:13Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  No, Texas would win in a war.

• 8:14Bobby Lee?

  No, but can I tell you my argument against it then?

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 8:17Bobby Lee?

  All right, um, the gays. Oh, they go rabid.

• 8:20Speaker 00

  Just think about that, a whole line of.

• 8:21Bobby Lee?

  Egypt, Egypt and his friends. Egypt and his friends, dude, oh my God, dude.

• 8:28Bobby Lee?

  Haya, haya.

• 8:30Bobby Lee?

  You know they do gay kung fu dude. Hiya hiya.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  We're celebrating at the abbey.

• 8:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we also have MS-13.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:38Bobby Lee?

  We got gangs dude. We got gangs.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  But those motherfuckers have like scary white people that have like racks in their trucks.

• 8:45Bobby Lee?

  I know, but still, I get, dude, MS-13, they fucking put tattoos on their eyeballs. Yeah, they don't fuck around. They don't fuck around? We don't fuck around. You're, you're putting yourself- Well, they're Mexicans too, so-

• 8:55Speaker 02

  They're Mexicans too, like Mexican OTs from there, right?

• 8:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you have more Texas, you have more Mexicans in Texas, you think? Yeah. No, I think California has more Mexicans. Yeah, who has, can you Google that? Who has more Mexicans? I think that will, that would sway the war, don't you think? Did y'all see that Trump, he said he's gonna go against the cartel?

• 9:11Speaker 02

  I did see. What do you think about that? You think another Astasination attempt is coming, dude?

• 9:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  If you fuck with the cartel, that's kind of a different-

• 9:17Bobby Lee?

  It's still a lot of talk, but what do they- California has a larger Mexican population than Texas. Dude, what's up? Let's talk about the war now.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  Now what?

• 9:25Bobby Lee?

  Now what, dude? We have more people.

• 9:28Bobby Lee?

  Uh, there's no way. What, what, give me the numbers, there's no way.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  Hey, he's autistic, right?

• 9:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's autistic, yeah. He's, he's also, he has no, he has never read a book.

• 9:36Speaker 02

  No way.

• 9:37Bobby Lee?

  He has no information in his head. That was last year, that was, you never asked me this year. Oh, yeah, oh, you read a bunch of Hemingway, you caught up with the, with the Hemingway?

• 9:44Speaker 02

  I read The Rabbit Goes Through the Hole.

• 9:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what is? Oh, Jesus. Has more people, yeah. We have more people. Oh, man. Yeah. Alright, 39p million, while Texas had a population of 31. Bro, that's an extra eight. Yeah. So anyway, let's, let's, let's, it doesn't come down to that. Yeah, I hope so. You know?

• 10:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, uh, let's, let's hope that that doesn't happen.

• 10:10Bobby Lee?

  So here's my, here's my pro California, okay? Uh, we have better restaurants. Ooh.

• 10:16Speaker 02

  Oh dude, I always make that argument with people.

• 10:18Bobby Lee?

  Do you agree?

• 10:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, we have better, we have all, any type of food you want, you can get it here.

• 10:23Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  And it used to-

• 10:23Bobby Lee?

  And high level.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, high level.

• 10:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like whenever, when I'm on the road and they're like, you know, I'll be in like Phoenix, or I'll be in like-

• 10:30Speaker 02

  We got an Italian place.

• 10:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I hate it, yeah. Hey man, we got a Korean spot, blows all the, all the Korean spots away. Where?

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Yomashir, or whatever it is.

• 10:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys should know, yeah. That's not Korean, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, yeah, and so then, so that's, I, and I'll go. I will go. If I'm in Virginia, I have someone goes, hey, man, we got the best Korean spot in the world. I will go.

• 10:54Speaker 02

  And they don't know.

• 10:55Bobby Lee?

  And I go, this is not kimchi, this is cabbage and ketchup.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  Koreatown is better food than Korea, brother.

• 11:01Bobby Lee?

  I know, brother.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  You tell me that.

• 11:03Bobby Lee?

  I told you. Yeah, don't listen to me.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  Dude, this guy takes me to Koreatown, first of all, he's like, Elvis, you guys have been with him.

• 11:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  He's fucking Elvis. And then he orders seventeen plates of the same fucking food.

• 11:13Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  And I go, what's this one? He goes, this one's meat.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Same fucking thing.

• 11:18Bobby Lee?

  You know, I love going to Koreatown with dumbfounded.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:20Bobby Lee?

  Because he claims he's mayor. Every time, like, somebody recognizes me, I always, I grab their wrist.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:27Bobby Lee?

  And I go, do you know who this is? And then they go. Did that, and the coffee shop's so weird. Yeah, and they go, no. And then I go, you may go. And I look at dumbfounded, I go, who's the mayor?

• 11:38Speaker 02

  You are. Dude, when we go there, like, everybody's like, looking at Bob, like, the whole restaurant is just looking at you.

• 11:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and not dumbfounded.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, but he claims, oh, you know, I did the streets, the rapping, you know what I mean? And that doesn't necessarily work all the time.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Dude, do you remember when we were hot, when you were still getting high? When you're eating on this mother.

• 11:55Bobby Lee?

  You were the only one I realized.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Really?

• 11:57Bobby Lee?

  You were the only one I did drugs with.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  Okay, I'm so glad you stopped.

• 12:01Bobby Lee?

  You were the, you were. Why, why?

• 12:03Speaker 02

  I'll tell you right now.

• 12:04Bobby Lee?

  Why, why? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  This fucking guy, let me tell you, this guy, bro, does, you know, me and you, me and fuck, I mean, I don't even know.

• 12:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  But we'll do like an edible, right? Five milligrams, ten milligrams if I'm pushing it, twenty if I'm fucking getting crazy, brother.

• 12:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  This motherfucker eats them like, dude, like, takes like four hundred milligrams, and then he wants to go now to Koreatown.

• 12:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  And.

• 12:28Bobby Lee?

  That's what you do when you have four hundred milligrams of THC in your body.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  Bro.

• 12:32Bobby Lee?

  K-town, baby.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  We go there, everyone's recognizing him, obviously, and he's like, probably he's like, not, and he's still like, kind of functioning, but he's glitching out, he's like glitching out, he's like, ha, ha, and he's smoking cigarettes for no reason, like, inside. I'm like, what are you doing, dude? This is like halfway inside the restaurant, and he goes, dang, I don't want to care, no one. And then, and then we get inside, and then I, I'm not that fucked up. I only took like the normal amount. This guy takes way too much and this is why he shouldn't be doing any drugs.

• 12:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  And then we get in there and he starts like, dude, the soup comes. I don't even know what the fuck the soup was. And he's just looking at the soup, dude. And he's looking at the soup in this weird way and he's frozen. And then, and then, bro, listen.

• 13:08Bobby Lee?

  I freeze it.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's like looking at the soup and I'm like, I'm like, is this fucking guy okay? Then the waiter, he comes by and goes, hey, man. Can I talk to you? And I, and I, and I'll go, yeah. And I walk over there and he goes, hey, man, is he all right? And, and I said, and I felt fucking bad. I go, that, that's not Bobby, that's AI.

• 13:28Bobby Lee?

  You know why, you know why I freeze? I play freeze tag by my own self.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  Do you consciously think?

• 13:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I, I play freeze tag by myself. I play three different people. Right? So I'll freeze and in my mind I'll go, um, you know what I mean? I'll tap myself out.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 13:41Bobby Lee?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 13:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And then I'll do the scene.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:43Bobby Lee?

  But it's in my head, you know? Do you know how, you know how freeze tag works?

• 13:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:47Bobby Lee?

  You played it.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 13:49Bobby Lee?

  How does it, how does it work? You know, wait, Jaime, do you know how freeze?

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Unfreeze me, fool.

• 13:53Bobby Lee?

  But you know how the game freeze tag works?

• 13:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, how does it work?

• 13:57Speaker 03

  Explain it with words.

• 13:58Bobby Lee?

  Explain it with words. Like if you're an improv.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, audio listeners.

• 14:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we are, we're taking Jaime's El Paso, it's gotta be in El Paso, improv class. We, we paid our money.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Teacher.

• 14:16Bobby Lee?

  Hey, teacher, how you doing? We're big fans of SCTV and, you know.

• 14:21Speaker 03

  Mad TV.

• 14:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, very good. We've never, write that down, John.

• 14:26Speaker 02

  Mad, mad television.

• 14:28Bobby Lee?

  So we, we really wanna learn how to improv and do, um, freeze tag. Can you explain us freeze tag?

• 14:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Welcome to my improv class.

• 14:35Bobby Lee?

  Oh, thank you.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  You're welcome. Thanks for playing.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  Uh, you know, improv is, uh, it's, uh, it's a meta.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  Hey, let's get out of here.

• 14:46Bobby Lee?

  I don't feel the confidence really.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  All right, look, freeze tag, freeze tag is like, you play tag, play, okay, this is your uncle Bobby. And he's gonna play tag with you, okay?

• 14:56Bobby Lee?

  What? What? Okay. Let's play.

• 15:00Speaker 03

  And when he touches you, he tags you, you freeze, you can't move.

• 15:03Bobby Lee?

  Uh huh.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  Until another person rescues you, resc- rescuing.

• 15:07Bobby Lee?

  Okay, then what happens then?

• 15:08Speaker 03

  And then you unfreeze.

• 15:10Bobby Lee?

  And then what happens?

• 15:11Speaker 03

  And you just go home.

• 15:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Okay, bye. So everyone just goes bye and they leave?

• 15:22Speaker 02

  I mean, you can play freestyle all you want, I'm just saying.

• 15:25Bobby Lee?

  Just to be honest, you don't know how that is.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  It's okay. I do know, I play freestyle with your uncle.

• 15:29Bobby Lee?

  How does the game end?

• 15:30Speaker 02

  A gay man?

• 15:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  A gay man?

• 15:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, a gay man.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  How does a gay man?

• 15:33Bobby Lee?

  How does a gay man?

• 15:35Speaker 02

  What's a gay man?

• 15:35Bobby Lee?

  And don't say EJ.

• 15:39Bobby Lee?

  I don't know what.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  Who's a gay?

• 15:40Bobby Lee?

  Because I was peeing earlier. Yeah, tell the story. I was peeing earlier and there's a, there's a mirror in front of the bathroom, right? And I was peeing, I was looking at my own penis. Yeah, everyone does, yeah. And EJ walks into the room.

• 15:51Speaker 04

  They get coffee.

• 15:52Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 15:53Speaker 04

  They get coffee.

• 15:54Bobby Lee?

  Is it?

• 15:56Speaker 04

  You want in the bathroom to get coffee?

• 15:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, why'd you go all the way in the bathroom to get coffee? The coffee's not in the bathroom, man. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I'm peeing and EJ comes, he tries to be cool, right? Alex, you were there, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he, EJ does a look up to look at my penis. And looks down.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  I think anybody would, bro.

• 16:14Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so you're, you're saying it's not a gay thing, it's more of a curiosity?

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Your penis, yeah, every, everyone would.

• 16:19Bobby Lee?

  Thank you. That's a compliment.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  I, dude, I saw his penis my first three years at the Comedy Store more than my own.

• 16:24Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Okay, cut that out.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  No, no, no, don't cut it out. We need to know who the real Bobby is.

• 16:34Bobby Lee?

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• 17:01Speaker 05

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• 17:14Speaker 03

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• 17:45Speaker 00

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• 18:04Bobby Lee?

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• 18:33Speaker 05

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• 18:43Speaker 03

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• 18:57Bobby Lee?

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• 19:09Speaker 00

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• 19:20Speaker 06

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• 19:54Speaker 07

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• 20:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so, excuse me, AJ, I'm sorry, I probably read it wrong.

• 20:33Bobby Lee?

  You know, Amir, I've always told this to people, that you were, you're probably one of the funniest guys in LA. I really believe that.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  I love you, man.

• 20:43Bobby Lee?

  No, it's not a...

• 20:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  No, no, I'll be honest.

• 20:47Bobby Lee?

  You're one of those guys that if you were before me on a lineup, I'd try to switch it. I've done it before.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Oh, you've done it.

• 20:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, many, many times.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  If I ever go and I see Bobby's name in pencil before mine?

• 20:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  I knew that they used...

• 21:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I'm the one that is using a pencil.

• 21:03Speaker 02

  But I don't know why you do that, because you're one of the biggest...

• 21:05Bobby Lee?

  It doesn't matter. Here's, I don't want to work.

• 21:09Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 21:10Speaker 02

  You crush every time.

• 21:11Bobby Lee?

  No, no, but following you, there's, okay, I'm gonna give you my names. Do you have people that you don't like following?

• 21:17Speaker 02

  Hmm, maybe the music, music ones.

• 21:20Bobby Lee?

  The musical ones?

• 21:20Speaker 02

  No, just the ones that are like so musical and then the crowd is singing.

• 21:23Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Fervor over this. I mean, you could always reset it. You can too. But it's not like optimal if you're like going up and the whole fucking thing and then like, uh, like Craig Robinson, killer. But then like has gone up and done like a musical piece for, you know, whatever. That's why it usually closes.

• 21:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  You know, so, but like if there's.

• 21:38Bobby Lee?

  He's a tough one.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  But yeah, but I mean, he kills it. And then it's like after that, it's kind of like the room is totally like not for stand up, stand up.

• 21:45Bobby Lee?

  Exactly. So it changes the chemistry.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  A little bit, yeah.

• 21:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So, um, mine, mine is you, Rick Ingram.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, Rick's a killer.

• 21:53Bobby Lee?

  Because he does such good. Ian Baggs is like that too, where they, they such, have we had Ian on this podcast?

• 21:59Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 21:59Bobby Lee?

  We gotta have Ian. But, um, I can't believe it. He's a dear friend.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  I love Ian.

• 22:03Bobby Lee?

  I love him. He's so funny. But he, um, they both are such good at crowd work. It's hard. And then, um, but then if they're really bad too, it's kind of hard sometimes.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. But I think you, oh, when your energy, when you go up, it resets everything. And people are so excited to see you that you're gonna crush every time.

• 22:21Bobby Lee?

  It's not about me. It's about you right now, dude.

• 22:22Speaker 02

  Okay, great.

• 22:23Bobby Lee?

  And so, um.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  I want to give you your flowers while you're still alive. God knows how long we have.

• 22:28Bobby Lee?

  I have my flowers.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  You have them?

• 22:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  Okay, I'd like to give them to you.

• 22:31Bobby Lee?

  And they're blooming.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Bobby.

• 22:32Bobby Lee?

  Are they not? Are they blooming?

• 22:34Speaker 02

  No, you've always been nice to me, dude. Ever since the beginning.

• 22:36Bobby Lee?

  But we're, we're similar in many ways though. Did you know that?

• 22:39Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 22:40Bobby Lee?

  In what way do you think?

• 22:41Speaker 02

  I think our family dynamic was really the same. Our dads were probably a little abusive and, you know, we didn't have a much love and attention at home. We had that and so.

• 22:50Bobby Lee?

  What's your best, what's, what's, what's the most positive thing your dad's ever said?

• 22:55Speaker 02

  Get the fuck out of here. No, no, no, I'm kidding. He said, he said stuff, but I mean, it's like, you know, it's that shit when you're like.

• 23:02Bobby Lee?

  Has he seen you perform?

• 23:03Speaker 02

  He has. And he thinks it's really funny and stuff, but you know, it took him years to be like, oh, that's cool, you know?

• 23:08Bobby Lee?

  All right.

• 23:08Speaker 02

  He, he didn't give a fuck. He just wants you to make money, like, whatever. Just be secure in your financial thing. So he doesn't have to worry about it. He sacrificed everything to bring us here. So I give him all that, dude. I'm like, you know, I'm, I'm so grateful for him and I love him to death, but he, he's, you know, he just wasn't, you know, he didn't know how to be the best dad. So it's, it's not his fault. Like our parents tried their best, you know? They fucking raised him in a kennel.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  Do you know what I'm saying?

• 23:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Tried our best.

• 23:33Bobby Lee?

  In a kettle, yeah. Yeah, it was a big one. Ooh. That's not what it is. Oh, okay. That's a bomb.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  Double pee pads in there.

• 23:40Bobby Lee?

  But, um, so yeah, we have, what's another similarity you think we have?

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Uh, I think our insecurities. We have a lot of insecurities.

• 23:47Bobby Lee?

  That's the one I was talking about, yeah.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  Uh, we have a lot of like, performance anxiety and shit like that, where you think you're gonna bomb. And then after the set, I know this, cause you're just like me, we'll get off and be like, "Fuck, look, that wasn't good." And we'll talk audiences out of a good set, you know, like, they'll be like, "That was great." And you're like, nah, you know.

• 24:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  And then I'll do that so much, like, to where in the meet and greet, the people will walk away thinking like, "Maybe that guy does suck."

• 24:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  You know, like, you just talk, they just had a great time at your show and then you-

• 24:10Bobby Lee?

  I try to convince them that it wasn't good.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. Because, because, because maybe you know you could do better and that wasn't your best that you think, but it's-

• 24:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, cause if Bill Burr went up there, he would've done this and that, you know what I mean? But, um, but here's another reason why, the first day I realized we're similar. And you probably don't know this, okay, but I remember.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 24:28Bobby Lee?

  Uh, is when, so, you know, I was on a show called Mad TV. And we did the original show, you know, and then it ended, and then many years later, they rebooted Mad TV. And they did, well, how many, two seasons?

• 24:41Speaker 02

  One season.

• 24:42Bobby Lee?

  One season.

• 24:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was a disaster.

• 24:43Bobby Lee?

  It was a disaster. So Adam Ray was a cast member, there it is.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Oh, there it is, yeah.

• 24:47Bobby Lee?

  And Amir was a cast member. There he is.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  I was so happy to be on the cast.

• 24:51Bobby Lee?

  I just recently worked with a black lady right there. What's her name?

• 24:53Speaker 02

  That's Larry Lewis.

• 24:54Bobby Lee?

  Larry Lewis. Is it? Mm-hmm. Okay, good.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  It was just, you know, I don't know what happened. The production was just-

• 24:59Bobby Lee?

  They didn't set you guys up for success.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  They didn't set us up for, and it was like, it wasn't the same. You saw, like, the wigs weren't fitting.

• 25:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  What the fuck are we doing? The budgets just wasn't, wasn't there.

• 25:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, when we did it, it was like, you know, they would cost, every episode cost like, a couple million or one point-

• 25:13Speaker 02

  Ours cost like forty-eight bucks.

• 25:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I could, since I did two of, I, how many, I did one-

• 25:18Speaker 02

  Like ten.

• 25:19Bobby Lee?

  I did a couple of sketches, and- I remember I did one with Ike, with you, and that was fun.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Dude, that was, that was my favorite sketch on the show.

• 25:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  With me, you, Adam Ray.

• 25:28Bobby Lee?

  Shark Tank?

• 25:29Speaker 02

  No, no, no, not that one. The one where me, you, Adam Ray, Ike, where you were stuck in the wall.

• 25:32Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that was fun, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Dude, Bobby was stuck in the wall.

• 25:35Bobby Lee?

  It is a sketch where, um, I had just been living there. Since we ended.

• 25:39Speaker 02

  Since he got cancer.

• 25:40Bobby Lee?

  Were you there? Yeah, yeah. And I ran out of the wall. And it was called John Berenholtz was the writer.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:46Bobby Lee?

  You know, I just worked with his dad, Alan.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah?

• 25:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  I, I never met his dad.

• 25:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:50Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:50Bobby Lee?

  There you are. There we go. Ike's.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  And then fucking Bobby's in the wall.

• 25:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm in the wall, and then, where are we going? Okay, I don't, I never saw it.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  Dude, you were so funny in this sketch. Look at him. Look at him, dude. He was so, you were so funny in this.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  God damn.

• 26:09Bobby Lee?

  That was fun.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  I can't get.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Dude, the way you did this was so good.

• 26:14Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, so this is how I know, you can turn it off. Um, here's how I know. You pulled me aside. And you, and this is the exact same, same insecurity I had.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:26Bobby Lee?

  Do you know, can you guess what it is?

• 26:27Speaker 02

  No. And I say, huh?

• 26:28Bobby Lee?

  No, no, you, you pulled me aside and you go, "Yeah, man, it's like, I can't, the writers aren't right, you know, they won't listen to my pitch, you know what I mean? I'm not good, you know what I mean?"

• 26:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:37Bobby Lee?

  You know, I, whenever I pitch my idea, it's like, not good, you know what I mean? And I, I went, dude, that's exactly how I felt.

• 26:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:44Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Where it's like, you and, you and I are a different kind of comedian. You know, we're more performers.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:50Bobby Lee?

  Can you agree?

• 26:50Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 26:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  Like, we're not, if you listen to our acts, like, lis, or like, you read our acts.

• 26:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  You'd be like, what is, that's why I'm horrified of sending transcripts. And they're like, they're like, "Send your transcript." I go, "Dude, you will kick me off the show."

• 27:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you'll kick me off the show, yeah. Cause on paper, right, it's okay.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:06Bobby Lee?

  It's basic.

• 27:07Speaker 02

  It, we're-

• 27:07Bobby Lee?

  It's meat and potatoes.

• 27:08Speaker 02

  We're personality comedians.

• 27:09Bobby Lee?

  So we, we use our personality and our energy and our attitude. We, we learn from the blacks. And we love the blacks for this.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  Jesus, Trump talk. And we love them, we love them.

• 27:20Bobby Lee?

  We love our Afro-Americans.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  And everybody's-

• 27:24Bobby Lee?

  No, because it, you know, it's like, you know, when you look at, you know, a performer like Kat. It's good writing, but it's also energy and attitude and delivery that really sells it. The voice, Chris Tucker was the same way, where his voice was so like high and interesting, you know?

• 27:42Speaker 02

  And you're so fun to watch.

• 27:43Bobby Lee?

  You're fun to watch, yeah.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  Like you go to New York and these guys are so well-written.

• 27:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  You know what, I figured, I, I, sorry to cut you off, Bobby, but I figured that in New York, the stages are so small.

• 27:53Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean? So they're not, they're not like inclined to write this big performative bit.

• 27:59Bobby Lee?

  Dude, I, yeah, I was at The Cellar two months ago.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like this.

• 28:02Bobby Lee?

  And it was like the piano players right here, I did the, um, what's that big room, um?

• 28:06Speaker 02

  The, the.

• 28:07Bobby Lee?

  Underground.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 28:08Bobby Lee?

  That's a great room, that's the best one there, right?

• 28:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:10Bobby Lee?

  And I was like trying to do, you know, there was the stabbing pit, right? You know what I mean, right? And I'm, you know what I mean, and I'm trying to walk, but I had to do five walks across this thing.

• 28:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:20Bobby Lee?

  To make it, to make it sell, you know what I mean?

• 28:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was crazy. And the piano guy is like sitting there, that's.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Was it red?

• 28:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love that.

• 28:28Bobby Lee?

  Great guy, yeah, um, so when, because I, when I was on that, I remember, I'd never written a sketch.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  Right.

• 28:36Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? That's not my wheelhouse and, um, I think every Mondays was pitch day.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  Right.

• 28:44Bobby Lee?

  I'm sorry, I had a, it was a big burp. And then, um, I apologize, those are nasty too.

• 28:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:49Bobby Lee?

  And it's just, it had some donut in it, they had a donut. Okay, so I remember on Mondays, I would sit there, there was a ping pong table, uh, when we were doing it, the Hollywood Center Studios. And there was these gigantic couches and on pitch day, I would just be sitting on the couches while like actors are coming in and out of like writers rooms.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Right.

• 29:08Bobby Lee?

  And I'd just be sitting there, you know what I mean, with my one thing, you know what I mean? And then I would just end up playing ping pong with people.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:13Bobby Lee?

  Hey Frank, you know, let's play round, you know what I mean? And then like, but then the table read packet would come out, right? And there's nothing that was in, you know? But it was, it just, and that was years. And it's my fault, I should have learned to do it.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  You were the funniest guy on the show.

• 29:28Bobby Lee?

  No, don't, no, no.

• 29:29Speaker 02

  You were, because when I would watch it, you were the only guy that I liked.

• 29:31Bobby Lee?

  Okay, yeah.

• 29:32Speaker 02

  I mean, not only guy, but you were the guy, like, I remember, I was like, that's the guy. And then I remember seeing you on Sunset by the Comedy Store one time, when I was in college at UCLA, and I was like, fuck, that's the fucking guy.

• 29:40Bobby Lee?

  Hmm, interesting.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  I was so happy to see you because you were my favorite on the.

• 29:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh, gosh, don't, I don't want to compliment fest, but my point is.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  No, no, I do.

• 29:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Hold on.

• 29:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got your 500.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  No, no, fuck that. Fuck off.

• 29:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, fuck you, man.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  No, I wanna, I wanna tell you, cuz you were always nice to me in the beginning cuz I remember one time I was in the Belly Room and I was like so, I had no money, zero fucking money. And, and I was like down, you're like, "What the fuck's wrong?" And I was like, "Oh, I gotta make money." I was like, cuz I was running the show in the, in the main room. You're like, "Why are you even doing that?" I was like, "I gotta make money." You're like, "You're funny, the money will come." You told me that.

• 30:13Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  And the money still hasn't come. But it felt good when you said it at the time.

• 30:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you, you make money.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:21Bobby Lee?

  You make money. You survive.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  I do, I do.

• 30:23Bobby Lee?

  You do good. I mean, how many dates have you done with Theo?

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Oh, we, we did so many dates.

• 30:27Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  It's so fun.

• 30:28Bobby Lee?

  I love it.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  And you know how it is.

• 30:29Bobby Lee?

  I love it.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  Like dude, when you travel with Santino, dude, how much more fun is it?

• 30:32Bobby Lee?

  It's way more better.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  When you have somebody with you, we have so much fun, dude.

• 30:35Bobby Lee?

  I just did Schaumburg, right? Which is fun.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Improv? Yeah, okay. I don't know, it could be a theater, you fucking asshole.

• 30:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I did that Schaumburg Improv.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 30:46Bobby Lee?

  And, um, I love the people come out, but, um, it's snowy. It's the coldest you've ever seen any environment.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Nothing to do there.

• 30:56Bobby Lee?

  And it's in the suburbs. And it's like, it's so cold and it's so bleak that you just end up just getting picked up. You go to the shows, you end up in that club for two shows in the green room.

• 31:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:08Bobby Lee?

  I'd make them sneak me out to go to PF Chang's or whatever, you know what I mean? But then I would come back, right? And it's like, it's just boring.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:15Bobby Lee?

  You know, and then when you go out with your friends.

• 31:17Speaker 02

  Wait, wait, when you just have them sneak you, what are you going in like a, like a merch suitcase? And have them roll you to the fucking? What are you talking about? How do you sneak out of there?

• 31:25Bobby Lee?

  With these Israeli tunnels. Yeah.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  The Jewish tunnels.

• 31:29Bobby Lee?

  The Jewish tunnels, yeah. No, I, um, no, there's back alleys and way to get out.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 31:34Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, you know. And then, um, oh yeah, there was a Brazilian place.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  Fuck of the show.

• 31:41Bobby Lee?

  How do you know?

• 31:43Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're sophisticated now.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, this guy's making good money, six dollars a plate for carne, huh?

• 31:50Bobby Lee?

  This guy's touchy.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  You motherfucker.

• 31:52Bobby Lee?

  I know, right?

• 31:54Bobby Lee?

  This is, here's what I hate about the road.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:56Bobby Lee?

  I'm sitting there in the green room, you know, I sold out all the shows and I'm like, you know, I went to the manager and I go, yo, I ate a pair of Chang's too much. The restaurant next to it was that, you know, whatever, right? Foga de chao, right? And I go, can you get me a table there? And they called and they said, no.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  Are you kidding?

• 32:17Bobby Lee?

  Foga de chao? Yeah, they said, no, and I want to say something, okay? And I'm not trying to be...

• 32:25Speaker 02

  Do it.

• 32:26Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not, let me just see if I can find the right words, because I don't want to seem...

• 32:30Speaker 02

  We'll be right back.

• 32:31Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no, I got it, I got it, I got it.

• 32:35Bobby Lee?

  I, I, I know that a lot of the, like, a lot of the improv audience goes to these restaurants that are around the fucking club, right? And makes them money, right? I'm asking for a table for one. You know what I mean? I'm not asking for the world, and I'm going to go in and out, you know what I mean? And whenever a restaurant goes, we don't want it, we can't do it. You know what I mean? It just pisses me off. Does that, would that piss you off, or is this me?

• 32:58Speaker 02

  Uh, it depends, man, it depends on like, I try not to cause a stink, but there is times where I'm so inappropriate. No, no, let me, let me finish. There's times where I'm like, dude, if anybody videotape me, I'd be done. Like, when I'm like...

• 33:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you snapped before?

• 33:13Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 33:14Bobby Lee?

  Okay, tell me a snap, give me a snap story.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Oh, there's so many times.

• 33:17Bobby Lee?

  Well, give me one, give me one.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  Like, I'm like, talking to some host.

• 33:19Bobby Lee?

  I'll give you a snap story.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  Dude, because like, sometimes these hostess people, like, you know, there's something, they're just fucking like, it doesn't make sense what they're telling you, you know what I mean?

• 33:26Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  We can't do it, and you can't sit there, because it's like, dude, just bend the rule for a second, you know? I'm going to be here for 20 minutes. They're like, we have a reservation, like, I'm there at 5.

• 33:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  And I just want to eat before the show and go.

• 33:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  And like, we have a reservation coming at 7, I'm like, dude, I'll be 30 minutes. I'm going to come in and I'm going to go, I'm sorry, we can't do it, it's like, that's when I like...

• 33:44Bobby Lee?

  You'll go crazy.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I won't go crazy, but I'll be, come on, what are you talking, like, you know, I'll be rude. Which was where, somebody videotape me, I wouldn't want that one to be out there.

• 33:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, somebody were snaps, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, you know, like, when you snap, like, that's the thing that happens with some people.

• 33:57Bobby Lee?

  It's entitlement, I think, it's entitlement. Is it entitlement?

• 34:01Speaker 02

  Like when we feel entitled?

• 34:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, when I feel entitled and I, cause I, I've done the same thing where it's- Yours has a little more, makes a little more sense, cause you were bringing people to the Schaumburg Improv.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  But you can't say that, you can't-

• 34:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh no, I say it. I'm bringing people- Yeah, because I have the manager with the manager's thing, thing there.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:18Bobby Lee?

  You're gonna go, "Hey", and he can't even do it.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 34:21Bobby Lee?

  That's interesting. And I wanna look at him and go, "What do you, you have no power?"

• 34:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 34:26Bobby Lee?

  You know, absolutely. I always tell you the worst one I did, and this is so embarrassing. I, I, did I tell you about this one? I, I probably have. Mess hall? No, but the Irvine, and then I left, so, I went to Irvine, um, early.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 34:38Bobby Lee?

  The Improv, because I was like, "You know what, I wanna relax, not, you know, it's usually when you're doing these Orange County, or like, you know what I mean, you leave too late on a Friday."

• 34:47Speaker 02

  Oh dude, yeah.

• 34:48Bobby Lee?

  And you're stuck in traffic, and you're panicking, and you're calling the club like, "Yeah, yeah, you pushed the show!"

• 34:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, but the, the, the feature's doing forty-five.

• 34:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, there's all that, but this time I was mindful, I was just like, "You know what, dude, I'm gonna go early."

• 35:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:02Bobby Lee?

  I went early, and I see the manager and I go, "Hey, um, can I go to this, this restaurant?" And they, they, um, they called, and the restaurant said no.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  What was the restaurant?

• 35:16Bobby Lee?

  Because, no, so I, I will tell you, alright? It, it, I don't know what it's called, but it's the taco, it's the fancy taco place that's there.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  Oh, Javier's.

• 35:24Bobby Lee?

  Yes, Javier, right. Should we cut that? No, because Javier is the last, so I'm gonna tell you the, so this, this happened like, maybe-

• 35:31Speaker 02

  Well, there's a redemption-

• 35:32Bobby Lee?

  There's a redemption, there's a, there's a, okay, there's a redemption, redemption. Okay, redemption.

• 35:38Bobby Lee?

  When'd you fly in today? Like, right now? And you haven't slept much, I can tell. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  It looks like you were just born. Fucking, what do you mean?

• 35:47Bobby Lee?

  I know!

• 35:48Speaker 02

  When you fly in.

• 35:48Bobby Lee?

  It looked like I came out of your mama's box. Yeah, dude, you don't know how to speak? Yeah. Yeah, what's going on with you right now, dude? I had a, um, long flight.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  Dude, Gil, he, he, he-

• 36:00Bobby Lee?

  I know, just a hat. Speak your mind, dude.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  I can't.

• 36:02Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Well, dude, you, right now, you look like the guy at the movie theater that tears the ticket and no one listens to it. You know, they go, "Go to the left and the right", they go, "Go to the left and the right", and no one listens, and you go in there, and you go, "Where the fuck do I go?" That's what you remind me of right now.

• 36:16Bobby Lee?

  Alright, yeah.

• 36:16Speaker 02

  Look alive, pendelho!

• 36:17Bobby Lee?

  Yes, sir.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Sir, I'm gonna do the Elon Musk.

• 36:21Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 36:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh wow, getting topical too. Very topical, yeah. So, um, so I, I go to the Irvine manager and I go, you can't get me a restaurant? He's like, I can't get you one. Did I sell the shows? He goes, yeah. And I go.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  Was it Dan?

• 36:37Bobby Lee?

  I'm leaving.

• 36:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 36:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And I got in the car and I drove all the way up to like, um, you know, those casinos on the five.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Oh my god, yeah, Commerce?

• 36:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Commerce. I drove that far back from Irvine.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  What? With the full house?

• 36:53Bobby Lee?

  With the full house. And then, then it got to the point where my managers and people were calling going, you gotta go back, dude.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Alright. They go, you gotta come back.

• 37:00Bobby Lee?

  So I drove all the way.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  You didn't close your tab.

• 37:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So I drive all the way back. I barely make it.

• 37:07Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 37:08Bobby Lee?

  Right? And it, onstage, then then shame occurs. Oh man. Where, where you go, what was that all about? That's so crazy. You know what I mean?

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Fuck, didn't you feel bad for the people that paid to come see you though?

• 37:19Bobby Lee?

  No, I made it on time. They didn't, they didn't know what was going on.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 37:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I made it on time. What did the manager say when you came back? He goes, oh, I'm so sorry. We don't have those kind of connections.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  I got you some cold cuts from Subway.

• 37:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, it's pretty much what it was. And then the last time I was there, I just wanna tell, and I, I, I said to myself, you know, I mean, don't do the same thing. So I, um, I went early. And I went, um, can I go to Javier's? And he goes, yeah, no problem. And I, the manager of Javier's came out.

• 37:47Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 37:48Bobby Lee?

  Right? And walked me in. And they treated me completely different. I think maybe, is it because I'm, back then I wasn't doing as well?

• 37:56Speaker 02

  Well, it didn't help that you were in blackface at the time.

• 37:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but you think that's.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Can you imagine? He left that part out?

• 38:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  I could've got a table anywhere. I said, brother, you gotta tell the full story.

• 38:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but uh, I hate that story. Is that gross, the story?

• 38:14Speaker 02

  No, it's a good story.

• 38:15Bobby Lee?

  It's entitlement.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  No, no, it's redemption, but, but it makes sense because you don't know what's going on. And if you're trying to do a last minute thing and then you get frustrated because they couldn't accommodate. I do that too. I do it too. I think we have this thing too, like especially when you do stand up and then you are selling out and you're doing this thing where you're like, dude, come on, like it's my, I, I hate when, and it's just starting to happen sometimes when you, even when like the way that the clubs treat you, like I go to the green room and there's fucking zero there when, you know, it's Thursday and you have 40 people in the audience.

• 38:41Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  And then you sell out and now there's a fucking fruit plate and uh, thing.

• 38:45Bobby Lee?

  Right, you see the difference, yeah.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  There's a $300 bottle, dollar bottle of fucking whatever.

• 38:48Bobby Lee?

  Shoes.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, what, $300 bottle of shoes.

• 38:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

• 38:54Bobby Lee?

  I've had shoes before.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  And then you're just like, why didn't you guys do this? I was, I was the same guy, but like, you know, it just, I don't know. It's just kind of jades you in a way. I don't know.

• 39:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, now what, what, so now you headline and you're getting stuff, like beverages and stuff?

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, certain markets.

• 39:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, um, but you know, it's, it's always.

• 39:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you got insecure just now?

• 39:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:14Bobby Lee?

  You did?

• 39:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's so.

• 39:16Speaker 02

  I get insecure around you and it's so weird, like around a lot of people I don't, I don't, but when you're around.

• 39:20Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 39:21Speaker 00

  A lot of people say that.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  He's a fucking bully, this motherfucker.

• 39:24Speaker 00

  Even Adam Race, when he came, he was like.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  He's intimidating. No, because he's so like, he's been there so long, you know? And he's just like, like the, this figure there that like, you don't, you know what I'm saying? Even though.

• 39:35Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 39:36Speaker 02

  I've been doing comedy forever and this guy will still like, you know, you.

• 39:40Bobby Lee?

  All right, let's, let's take, take a consensus around the room. Let's be real. Cause this is something I don't know about myself.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Dude, to us guys, even me, like I've been.

• 39:48Bobby Lee?

  All right, so.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  15 years.

• 39:49Bobby Lee?

  Jaime, do you feel insecure around me?

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 39:54Bobby Lee?

  My boy, really?

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Dude, look at the poor guy.

• 39:58Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 39:59Speaker 02

  You made him cry 20 minutes ago.

• 40:01Bobby Lee?

  Why? Cause we called you a newborn baby?

• 40:03Speaker 03

  No.

• 40:04Bobby Lee?

  Newborn baby?

• 40:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. You just scare me.

• 40:06Bobby Lee?

  I should say you weren't the kind of MS, Mexican, MS 13 Mexican, you're more of a freeholdist?

• 40:10Speaker 03

  I don't care about that.

• 40:10Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good. All right, um, did, uh, John? Really? EJ? Oh my god, George, there's no way.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  Only when I have a good story to tell here because I know I have to make it interesting in the first three words.

• 40:23Speaker 00

  He's scared.

• 40:24Speaker 04

  Or you'll turn it off.

• 40:25Bobby Lee?

  He's intimidating, see dude?

• 40:26Speaker 04

  No, otherwise, no, but yeah, when I have a good story that I think will add.

• 40:30Bobby Lee?

  You know what, here's, I'm gonna change my tune, that's it.

• 40:32Speaker 00

  No, keep it, this is what makes you.

• 40:33Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm gonna say something right now, dude, George, why don't you throw out a story?

• 40:37Speaker 00

  Here we go.

• 40:38Bobby Lee?

  It doesn't have to be interesting. Here we go, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I mean, we'll.

• 40:44Speaker 04

  Nope, all the good ones I've thrown out and they've been shut down, I'm not gonna try.

• 40:47Bobby Lee?

  Come on, George. No, I'm telling, I'm changing my tune, dude, oh my god, I feel so bad right now.

• 40:52Speaker 00

  Do a Willie Nelson joke, one more time.

• 40:54Speaker 04

  No, everybody thinks I stole that from Theo, but it's a street joke, so.

• 40:57Bobby Lee?

  What is it? You had a wooden shirt on?

• 41:01Speaker 04

  Your favorite street joke, what's, uh, what's the worst thing to hear when you're blowing Willie Nelson?

• 41:05Bobby Lee?

  I'm not Willie Nelson.

• 41:06Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 41:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:09Speaker 00

  Bobby, enjoy it, enjoy it a little bit?

• 41:12Bobby Lee?

  I don't even understand it.

• 41:13Speaker 00

  Enjoy it a little bit.

• 41:14Bobby Lee?

  Can I try to first understand it? You're blowing a guy that you thought was Willie Nelson. No, let me understand it, let me try to come up with my own thing, okay? So I'm. I, I, I, cause when I blow, I grab the chin.

• 41:23Speaker 00

  But you're a butt cheeky guy.

• 41:24Bobby Lee?

  Right, so.

• 41:24Speaker 04

  And you got a little bit of his hair, cause he's got really long braids.

• 41:26Bobby Lee?

  Right, right.

• 41:27Speaker 04

  You gotta paint the story.

• 41:28Bobby Lee?

  And then I'd be like.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  You're looking up through the beard.

• 41:31Bobby Lee?

  Where, you know Willie Nelson?

• 41:35Bobby Lee?

  And he's like, no. Oh. Oh, I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it now. It's good. Yeah. Yeah, that would be suck. That would be suck. That would be terrible, dude. That would be the most suck ever, man. You know Timo the Showman? You could do it with a lot of people. In fact, you could do it with any celebrity, you know what I mean? You know Fortune Feimster?

• 42:00Bobby Lee?

  Right? What'd he say? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's see, let's play that game, see who I'm saying. Okay, go. All right? All right, all right, all right. All, all right, so, what did I just say? You know Fortune Feimster? Nelson Mandela.

• 42:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know who he said. Yeah, you don't know? No, I can't. Fortune Feimster. Huh? Fortune Feimster. Oh, okay. You know her? No. Okay, I mean. Give me another one. One of the best comics, you, you like this game? Yeah. Yeah, okay, um.

• 42:28Speaker 07

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• 42:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I got a good one. Okay. This is hard, because it's history. There's history involved.

• 43:05Speaker 08

  I'm Hitler.

• 43:06Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no.

• 43:07Speaker 08

  I'm Hitler.

• 43:08Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, yeah.

• 43:10Speaker 08

  You're the emperor Hirohito.

• 43:13Bobby Lee?

  Oh, interesting. Wait, wait, wait, two more, two more. Wait, wait.

• 43:16Speaker 08

  You're the emperor Hirohito.

• 43:21Bobby Lee?

  Sure? One more time, one more time. I'll give you guys a hint. First word, emperor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:25Speaker 08

  I'll give you another hint.

• 43:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:27Speaker 08

  Kamikaze.

• 43:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:29Speaker 08

  You're the emperor Hirohito. You're emperor Hirohito.

• 43:34Bobby Lee?

  You're not emperor.

• 43:35Speaker 08

  I said exactly what you said, motherfucker.

• 43:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I have a dick in my mouth.

• 43:38Speaker 08

  Oh, okay.

• 43:39Bobby Lee?

  That's why I'm talking like that. Yeah, Emperor Hirohito. Too much. Oh, Hirohito, I don't even know that emperor.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't even know that name too. That's a real name.

• 43:47Bobby Lee?

  That's a real name. Yeah, that's a real name.

• 43:50Speaker 03

  Should be that guy.

• 43:51Bobby Lee?

  Okay, um, you guys, um, want more?

• 43:53Speaker 08

  Yeah, one more.

• 43:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you want one more? Okay, let me think of it. What?

• 43:56Speaker 03

  He should do one.

• 43:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, he will do one. I want to play the game as well, right?

• 44:00Speaker 08

  Okay.

• 44:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, um.

• 44:03Speaker 08

  You're the emperor Hirohito.

• 44:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's tough, man. What do you call it?

• 44:07Speaker 08

  Arnold Schwarzenegger.

• 44:07Bobby Lee?

  Yes!

• 44:08Speaker 08

  Hell, yeah!

• 44:09Bobby Lee?

  One more time. I didn't.

• 44:12Bobby Lee?

  Imagine it.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  I like that.

• 44:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait.

• 44:19Speaker 08

  You're the emperor. You said it better this time.

• 44:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, oh, really?

• 44:23Speaker 08

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:23Bobby Lee?

  Arnold Schwarzenegger, so give me one. Dick in your mouth though.

• 44:26Speaker 08

  Okay.

• 44:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:27Speaker 08

  Big. You're the. You're the.

• 44:30Bobby Lee?

  Hand, hand.

• 44:30Speaker 08

  Adam Ray as Doctor Phil.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  Doctor Phil.

• 44:34Speaker 08

  No, more, there's more too.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Adam Ray?

• 44:36Speaker 08

  You're not Adam Ray as Doctor Phil.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  You're not Adam Ray.

• 44:41Bobby Lee?

  You're not Adam Ray as Doctor Phil.

• 44:42Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 44:42Bobby Lee?

  He has to be as tough. Yeah, that's a complex one, dude.

• 44:45Speaker 08

  That's a good one.

• 44:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's actually really, yeah.

• 44:49Speaker 08

  I love Adam, by the way.

• 44:55Bobby Lee?

  Helix for your sleep, helix for your back. The data is this, I have a bunch of rooms in my house and they all have Helix mattresses. Oh yeah, they do. That's the data. Oh yeah? And the, uh, and I have people sleep on these mattresses and they give me the feedback and the feedback is this. A-okay, numero uno. It means that you're the best and you're sleeping on the best mattress and why wouldn't you? Because you know, we live in a free country. You get to choose how well you want to sleep. If you want to sleep a-okay, numero uno dude, you go to Helix. Helix. Yeah. Jules, how is it when you sleep in one of these beds in this house?

• 45:33Speaker 05

  Well, currently I'm staying at Tito Bobby's and I'm sleeping on a Helix bed and it's made me sleep a lot more.

• 45:42Bobby Lee?

  Numero uno.

• 45:43Speaker 05

  Numero uno.

• 45:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:44Speaker 00

  Go to helixsleep.com/belly for 20% off sitewide plus two free dream pillows with mattress purchase. That's helixsleep.com/belly for 20% off sitewide plus two free dream pillows with mattress purchase. helixsleep.com/belly.

• 46:03Bobby Lee?

  That's actually really, yeah.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  I love Adam, by the way.

• 46:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, who doesn't?

• 46:08Speaker 02

  I love him.

• 46:09Bobby Lee?

  I love him too.

• 46:09Speaker 02

  I love him too.

• 46:10Bobby Lee?

  Don't you feel, don't you feel happy for him?

• 46:12Speaker 02

  I feel so, dude, because he worked so hard. Some people don't know, Adam worked his ass off and he's one of the hardest working guys. Like I do bullshit, I go fishing, I go fuck, I do all sorts of weird stuff.

• 46:23Bobby Lee?

  That's another thing, our work ethic is the same.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, I just, I fuck off and like when I should be doing comedy and stuff and like, or like, like, you know, writing or something, I'm like doing some other thing. But Adam was always like grinding and doing like, you know, the next step and what's, what do I do now? And like, and he's, and it's so cool to see it pay off for him.

• 46:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we, we have coping mechanisms where we do things so that we don't really have to feel about what's really going on.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  I like keep myself busy with some bullshit, like I'll go get in a boat, I'm like, I ripped out the fucking deck of my boat for no reason and I'm spending hours doing that when I should be starting my podcast again and doing all.

• 46:56Bobby Lee?

  You don't have a podcast?

• 46:57Speaker 02

  I do.

• 46:57Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  I had one and then I stopped it because the pandemic ended and then I want to bring it back, so.

• 47:02Bobby Lee?

  But have you done it yet?

• 47:03Speaker 02

  Not yet.

• 47:04Bobby Lee?

  That you don't.

• 47:06Bobby Lee?

  That's crazy what you just did.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  What do you mean it's crazy? I have my studio at my house.

• 47:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you're not doing it.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 47:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:15Bobby Lee?

  It's the intimidation.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, see Bobby like.

• 47:20Bobby Lee?

  No, I want him to do it. That's why I'm saying I, I, you know what, guys? Let, let me just get this straight there. I didn't ask you Gilbert, how do you feel?

• 47:27Speaker 00

  They're still diff- way different now, but there is still a little bit of wanting to, it's like, I want to impress Bobby in the back.

• 47:35Bobby Lee?

  Okay, all right, I, I had the chance. Oh, I've given up. What are you talking about? I called you yesterday. Yeah.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  Hey, look, you fucking asshole. What is that?

• 47:42Bobby Lee?

  Salty lock.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  There you go, brother.

• 47:44Bobby Lee?

  Amer- kay.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  Okay. Five stars, dude, thirty reviews.

• 47:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. When was the last one? Two thousand twenty-two?

• 47:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:53Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  Right?

• 47:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What's the best episode?

• 47:56Speaker 02

  I don't know, man. There's, I don't know.

• 47:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, you gotta start over.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  There's like forty of five of them.

• 48:01Bobby Lee?

  Cause I think that you can, for, can you do it closer to LA and not Long Beach? Wherever, where do you live?

• 48:05Speaker 02

  I have a studio in my other bedroom. I made like a podcast studio.

• 48:08Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  It's like, that's.

• 48:09Bobby Lee?

  Start now because you, you, I think you have access to great guests now.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. Will you do it?

• 48:14Bobby Lee?

  One hundred percent. Were you crazy?

• 48:15Speaker 02

  Well, you heard it here first, guys. Bobby Lee, first guest on the podcast.

• 48:19Bobby Lee?

  Of course, I love you, dude. Um, do you remember, um, LA shrimp?

• 48:24Speaker 02

  Oh, dude.

• 48:25Bobby Lee?

  LA River shrimp?

• 48:25Speaker 02

  LA River, so we, yeah, yeah. You want to tell the story?

• 48:28Bobby Lee?

  I was high, no?

• 48:29Speaker 02

  You were high. You were, and this is Bobby high. This is another high Bobby thing. So, okay, guys, we went to Benihana, all right?

• 48:35Speaker 00

  Benihana.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  After, and everyone knows.

• 48:37Bobby Lee?

  You know Benihana?

• 48:38Speaker 00

  Of course, man. Wait, what is it? What is it?

• 48:41Bobby Lee?

  What is it?

• 48:43Speaker 00

  It's a restaurant where they cook in front of you.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  I feel like he acts like, you know, when a kid, when there's three kids and one person in a jacket, you know what I'm talking about?

• 48:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:51Speaker 02

  Three kids on each other's backs and he's trying to fit in somewhere. He's like, yes, I know what that is. I have a bank account.

• 48:57Bobby Lee?

  Dude, imagine him as a Benihana chef.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 48:59Bobby Lee?

  He'd be the worst one.

• 49:00Speaker 00

  How?

• 49:01Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 49:02Speaker 00

  How?

• 49:02Bobby Lee?

  How would he be the?

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Did you walk up there and start?

• 49:04Bobby Lee?

  There's no way you'll be able to stack the onions to make it into a fucking volcano. There's no way.

• 49:07Speaker 00

  I grew up in a kitchen, so I know how to cook.

• 49:09Bobby Lee?

  But you know how to make a volcano onion thing?

• 49:11Speaker 00

  I can try.

• 49:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, right, dude. He's like, all right, you had the chorizo and shrimp?

• 49:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And then you had to flip the shrimp and then put it on your hat? Can you do that?

• 49:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:19Bobby Lee?

  There's no way.

• 49:19Speaker 02

  No, you can't.

• 49:20Bobby Lee?

  There's no way.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 49:21Speaker 00

  Give me like a week and then come back.

• 49:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, get a Benihana hat and a shrimp and let's figure that out.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  Do that on the, oh, look, on the next podcast.

• 49:28Bobby Lee?

  Look at it. Can you do that?

• 49:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, stuff like that.

• 49:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I feel like I can do that.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  I mean, I think after a little while, these guys have been doing this for forty-five years and that's what he's doing.

• 49:36Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  Listen, we go to the, we go to the Benihana.

• 49:40Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 49:40Speaker 02

  Cause they're all different. Here's what people don't know. I think they're all owned by different people, right?

• 49:44Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 49:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, so they're, they don't use the same quality. The one-

• 49:47Bobby Lee?

  Steve Aoki's dad.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  That's the originator. I don't know if they own.

• 49:51Bobby Lee?

  Okay. We went to one that was owned by someone different.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  Okay, what was the first entrance? When you walk in, what do they have there? Armed guard. That's when you know it's gonna be crazy.

• 50:00Bobby Lee?

  It's gonna be bad, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:01Speaker 02

  Bro, bulletproof vest, full like magazines.

• 50:04Bobby Lee?

  And, and what, okay, when you see, when you see, let me ask you, Jaime. When you see an armed guard, right, at a restaurant, what does that mean? Why is that guy there? What kind of clientele do they have?

• 50:16Speaker 02

  A lot of upstanding white people.

• 50:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  Uh, Class A citizens.

• 50:21Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so anyway.

• 50:23Speaker 03

  I don't think he gets it.

• 50:24Bobby Lee?

  I, I, yeah.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  You're asking me, right? And I'm telling you.

• 50:28Bobby Lee?

  Can you sleep before you come here?

• 50:30Speaker 02

  Dude, I think you should go to sleep right now.

• 50:32Speaker 03

  No, listen.

• 50:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, take a nap.

• 50:33Speaker 03

  No, nap time's over.

• 50:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Can I say a brown?

• 50:39Speaker 03

  Mushroom, marshmallow?

• 50:40Bobby Lee?

  A, a, a sweatshirt like that doesn't look good on you.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  Why?

• 50:43Speaker 02

  Cause it looks like you're in a potato sack.

• 50:45Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 50:46Speaker 03

  My girl told me I look good in brown.

• 50:48Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 50:50Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so.

• 50:51Speaker 03

  Fucking bitch.

• 50:53Bobby Lee?

  Would you call me a bitch?

• 50:54Speaker 03

  No, my girl, I'm a fucking bitch.

• 50:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh. Jesus Christ.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ, oh, look, the word says. Man in heaven.

• 51:01Speaker 02

  Oh, that's beautiful.

• 51:02Speaker 03

  Very cute.

• 51:03Bobby Lee?

  God bless you.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Yeah. Benihana, my, my bad, I'm here.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  Oh, no, what, are we?

• 51:08Speaker 03

  The story?

• 51:09Speaker 02

  Okay, so we, oh, that's the guy. That's the one.

• 51:12Bobby Lee?

  That is the one.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  That's the one. That's the guy, too.

• 51:15Bobby Lee?

  That's the guy, too, yeah.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  That's literally the guy.

• 51:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  So he stands there-

• 51:18Bobby Lee?

  Looks like a guy that fought John Wick.

• 51:19Speaker 02

  Like he's army, like, yeah, like he's guarding, like guarding the vault of a bank.

• 51:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:24Speaker 02

  And, dude, at Benihana, and then we go sit down, Bobby is high again, I'm high again.

• 51:30Bobby Lee?

  We're with the girl. Your girlfriend at the time.

• 51:33Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, well, I think we were with my girlfriend at the time.

• 51:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  And then, um, we sit down and we're just laughing. We're, that was one of the funnest Benihana experiences, even though the food was shit that I've ever had. And we're sitting there, and this is the type of shit Bobby does when he's high. He goes, okay, guys. We all huddle together, you go, what? He goes, alright, when the chef comes out and he does the fucking volcano thing with the onion, nobody react.

• 51:57Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  Like, you know, because everyone goes, "Yeah," you know, and like, dude, it's crazy not to react. Try to do it next time you go. If you're listening and you're sitting there, try not to react when the guy's going, "Choo choo, choo choo." And he's going, "Choo choo train," and then looking at you for a reaction, going, "Look at choo choo, ha ha ha."

• 52:14Bobby Lee?

  Because I think it's too easy of a thing. I think people do it, I think people react because of, it's a social gesture of, you know. And what I'm saying is, it's like, let's elevate his game.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  Right.

• 52:26Bobby Lee?

  And make it challenging.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  It's like every comic-

• 52:28Bobby Lee?

  So that he can rewrite his thing.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  It's like every comic doing the same joke.

• 52:31Bobby Lee?

  No, it's like a comic only playing the main room at the Ice House.

• 52:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 52:35Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? You're killing.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:36Bobby Lee?

  It's such an easy room.

• 52:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:38Bobby Lee?

  Go to the OR.

• 52:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 52:39Bobby Lee?

  And that's what I wanted the Benny shot, should have to go, to the OR, a tough room.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  What is that, like a hot dog stand by Dodger Stadium?

• 52:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  He's like, "Look, a volcano."

• 52:48Bobby Lee?

  When I said that these guys, I was like, I, yes, granted, I was high, I wouldn't do it with, if I wasn't high, but I was like-

• 52:52Speaker 02

  It was so funny, though.

• 52:53Bobby Lee?

  I go, deadpan stare when he looks for approval, not even smile.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  Right, because we know how that feels.

• 53:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, see how this guy, this white guy's smiling?

• 53:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, look, and he's going, "They're clapping."

• 53:04Bobby Lee?

  No, we don't clap.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  We don't, dude, we were like this, look, we all looked at, like, straight face, like, watched the, we watched it, too.

• 53:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we watched it.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  We were watching it like this, and then Bobby goes, "I can't do it anymore," and he fucking takes that.

• 53:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you broke?

• 53:16Speaker 02

  He broke, and he goes, "I can't do it anymore, here, do it, do it here," he gives the guy a hundred bucks.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  It was so awesome.

• 53:22Bobby Lee?

  I did?

• 53:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, he goes, "Okay, okay, okay." He goes, like, we were just looking, and we were both, like, fucking grabbing each other's legs under the table.

• 53:28Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my-

• 53:29Speaker 02

  You know, like, how long can we do this?

• 53:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  This is crazy.

• 53:32Bobby Lee?

  I couldn't even commit to that.

• 53:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, we were like, "How long can we do this?" And then Bobby goes, "Okay, okay, okay, yeah," and he gives, he gives the guy a hundred dollars.

• 53:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that thing that, when comics do an impression of me, the laughing.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:44Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? I don't do that.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Dude, you do it all the time.

• 53:48Bobby Lee?

  Like, "Kakakakakak," like that?

• 53:49Speaker 02

  "Kakakakakak."

• 53:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 53:52Bobby Lee?

  Wow. So that's just my natural laugh.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Right.

• 53:56Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Like, some people have it, they'll have a cigarette when they do an impression of me, and they'll be, like, kind of squatting, and they're like, "Kakakakakak," right, and I go, "That's, I don't ever do that."

• 54:06Speaker 02

  You do.

• 54:06Bobby Lee?

  I, I laugh like that.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  You're fucking Asian dolphin retarded.

• 54:11Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so I'm a dolphin, Korean, and retarded.

• 54:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 54:16Bobby Lee?

  I see. Yeah, that's not good. That's not good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but then, talk about the LA shrimp.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  Okay, so then we get the shrimp. Well, yeah, well, it was just disgusting, the whole, by the way.

• 54:27Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so I want, here's, I went to a Benihana with my mom and my brother in December, okay? And my mom did not want to go. I don't, I'm not gonna eat, you know, she's so stubborn.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:40Bobby Lee?

  She goes, "I'm not gonna eat nothing if we go there." I go, "Well, I'm fine by you, because it's the only thing open, mom, what the fuck?" You know what I mean? So we go, and she goes, "I don't, I don't like fried rice."

• 54:51Speaker 09

  I just wanna go fogo chow.

• 54:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she refused, she wanted to get the, she goes, "I only gonna eat rice and soy sauce."

• 54:58Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 54:59Bobby Lee?

  Because she's stubborn.

• 55:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:00Bobby Lee?

  Because she didn't want to go there. And then, once the guy started making the fried rice, you can tell that she wanted it.

• 55:06Speaker 02

  Looped in.

• 55:06Bobby Lee?

  So we got, we got her one. And then she, at the end of the meal, she was like, "This is great," right? She's stubborn in that way, right? But the, if it was the LA shrimp, it would have been bad. But it was like owned by a really good, the one in Phoenix.

• 55:18Speaker 02

  The one you went to. Yeah, yeah, some of them are really good quality, like steak.

• 55:21Bobby Lee?

  The one that we went to, right? The shrimp was much smaller.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  It was like those little beige, those little tiny.

• 55:27Bobby Lee?

  Right, and also, it was like, when they were way more too translucent and slimy.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, like that frozen, like little.

• 55:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like, yeah, like they had been frozen, right? And when we ate it, and granted, I'm high. So it should be the greatest thing I've ever had, right? And I remember looking at him, and just with a little shrimp sticking out of my mouth, going, "What is this?"

• 55:47Speaker 02

  Dude, I remember when I realized about you, if you've ever eaten with Bobby, he eats soup with his hand in his pocket.

• 55:54Bobby Lee?

  That's weird.

• 55:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have a picture of it somewhere, and we'll put it here.

• 55:57Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 55:58Speaker 02

  We'll put it here, I'm gonna send.

• 55:59Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean, eat soup with their hand in my pocket?

• 56:01Speaker 02

  He, he's so high, he's just eating soup, but putting your, like, the most vulnerable position you could be in. Like, the guy is eating like he's in a fucking POW camp.

• 56:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:10Speaker 02

  And he's having soup, you know that little soup they give you, and he has his hand, it was just so, I, I'm gonna put a picture so you guys can see.

• 56:16Bobby Lee?

  Well, I just got three years of sobriety Saturday, my three-year birthday.

• 56:19Speaker 02

  Hell, yeah, congratulations.

• 56:23Speaker 02

  That's fucking awesome.

• 56:27Bobby Lee?

  Three years.

• 56:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, Bobby doesn't need to drink. He doesn't need to get high. I think you're much better without it.

• 56:33Bobby Lee?

  And I went to a meeting last night, it was last minute, to take a cake. You know what taking a cake means?

• 56:39Speaker 02

  No.

• 56:40Bobby Lee?

  When you go to, in LA, in California, you go, when it's your birthday, and the whole room sings "Happy Birthday" to you. And then you have, your friends give you the cake. And, um, the three that showed up, because I want to blow their anonymity, I couldn't believe that they showed up for me.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  That's so cool.

• 56:59Bobby Lee?

  It made me so emotional, almost.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  Oh, that's so cool.

• 57:02Bobby Lee?

  And they drove all the way over there to give me a cake. And they sat next to me the whole meeting, and it was, um... I think I just gotta have to go to more meetings, because I think I'm at a, honestly dude, let's be honest. Something's going on.

• 57:17Speaker 02

  Do you have a relapse feeling?

• 57:19Bobby Lee?

  No, not a relapse. I'm, since the fires, there's been this feeling of dread.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  Like impending doom?

• 57:26Bobby Lee?

  Impending doom.

• 57:27Speaker 02

  Really?

• 57:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And I can't get out of it. I've done everything I can. Therapy, you know what I mean? Meetings, I've just done everything, calling people.

• 57:35Speaker 02

  Like anxiety you have?

• 57:36Bobby Lee?

  I just feel like, what's the point?

• 57:38Speaker 02

  Really?

• 57:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. It's a, it's a what's a point kind of a feeling.

• 57:41Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 57:42Bobby Lee?

  And I've been trying to get out of it. I've been going back to Eckhart Tolle, listening to like, Power of Now on my fucking audiobooks.

• 57:48Speaker 02

  If you listen to the hummingbird,

• 57:52Speaker 02

  you'll notice the sounds they make.

• 57:55Speaker 00

  Sounds like dread.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:56Speaker 00

  It sounds like dread. Sounds like dread.

• 57:58Speaker 02

  The slight humming you hear from their beings is, why don't you just tie the noose and hang yourself? That guy's voice will make you want to commit to it.

• 58:07Bobby Lee?

  In the beginning, he's like, "For three years, I wandered the streets of Canada, in total bliss, with no worry in the world." Right?

• 58:17Speaker 02

  I did.

• 58:18Bobby Lee?

  And you're like, listening, going, "How'd you do it?" Right? And then, then, it's like, okay, so here's the whole thing about, you guys know how Power of Now work, what, you know what Eckhart Tolle is? No. Okay. I'm gonna be honest.

• 58:30Bobby Lee?

  He said, "Yeah, I got fast track." You're not even here right now, man. I am right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's a, there's a very popular self-help book called Very famous. The Power of Now. That's what he was doing right now? Yeah, he was doing an impression. Doing the book. Of Eckhart Tolle, because the audiobook is his voice. It's his voice. It's his voice. It's so nice listening to him. So he was, yeah, so he was in, um, Canada, he was living with just a mattress, you know what I mean, a basement somewhere, and he wanted to kill himself. Mm-hmm. Right, and it was, it was a sense of over, um, doom and, um, and, um, pointlessness. And he had this, you know, I mean, this concept occur.

• 59:14Bobby Lee?

  And it's basically, here's the gist of it, okay? Is that your brain and the way you think isn't who you really are. And then who you really are is the thing that's observing your thoughts. Right. You understand what I'm saying? Right. So have you ever, like, thought something crazy and you're like, "What the fuck are you talking about?", right? I think that's the guy, that's who you really are, you know what I mean? The one observing, can you understand that concept? Yeah. Okay, explain it to me. This poor guy. I don't, no, because I want to, I'm trying to teach him. Yeah, you want me to? But don't lie then. Here's the thing with you, I mean, when I say, when I- Let me finish. Okay. Let me finish. Do you want me to read this book and then come back next week for a book report? That would actually be a good- That'd be good. Or audiobook. Audiobook it.

• 59:59Bobby Lee?

  I can read. No, no, but it's- Guts of Defense. We're not challenging. Yeah, yeah. I'll read it for you. Why don't we, why don't we start with this? Let's start with, if you want to read self-help books, that's Miguel Ruiz's, um, The Four Agreements. It's a shorter read. Dane Cook told me to read that book, not to name drop. No, he, that's not a, that's, you're not, no, Dane Cook is, who's that?

• 1:00:22Bobby Lee?

  No, so he did?

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:23Bobby Lee?

  Have you read it?

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  I have, yeah.

• 1:00:24Bobby Lee?

  What do you think?

• 1:00:25Speaker 02

  I haven't, I don't know, man. I, I, did you do it and keep it in practice? I did it for like a week.

• 1:00:31Bobby Lee?

  Here's, here's, I know, there's the four agreements. So being impeccable with your word, I have a hard time with.

• 1:00:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:00:37Speaker 02

  I think because we're people pleaser type of guys.

• 1:00:39Bobby Lee?

  Right. So let's look at the four agreements, alright? Don't take anything personally. So basically, I think he says this, Miguel Ruiz, in the book. Like if somebody walked up to you, shot you in the head and walked away, that's not personal. Right? Seems pretty personal to me. That's pretty personal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, seems pretty fucking personal.

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  Seems really personal to me.

• 1:00:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I like my brain.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:02Bobby Lee?

  But, um, so, and, um, let's go, don't make assumptions. Do you do that?

• 1:01:07Speaker 02

  Always. You make assumptions.

• 1:01:08Bobby Lee?

  Dude, I'm the king of it.

• 1:01:09Speaker 02

  Yes. I make stories up about people, like, how they hate me.

• 1:01:12Bobby Lee?

  I know, because it's trauma.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:14Bobby Lee?

  Dude, you gotta do trauma work. And me and your ex-girlfriend have talked about you.

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:18Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  And you told me to go, Bobby's like, dude, you can do it. It's, my therapist is $9,000 an hour. I can't do that. I was like, I can't do that.

• 1:01:25Bobby Lee?

  That's not what I said. It's not nine, that's gonna stay, okay?

• 1:01:28Speaker 02

  Whatever it was, I go, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll do it.

• 1:01:30Bobby Lee?

  What I'm saying is, is that these things, like, these trauma responses that you do, like, you know, um, revenge fantasies, or like, you know what I mean? Making assumptions and creating all these storylines and stuff like that. It's super unhealthy, so the way you cope, right? But there's other ways to do it. So my point is, is that I really think that it would help you.

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:01:45Bobby Lee?

  Do you?

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  I, I, I agree.

• 1:01:46Bobby Lee?

  Ah, ah, ah.

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  See, he's a fucking bully, huh?

• 1:01:50Bobby Lee?

  No. Right. No, I'm sorry, cut that out. He doesn't have self-awareness.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  Leave it, leave it, leave it.

• 1:01:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Leave, leave, leave, leave, leave.

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  I want people to see the true Bobby.

• 1:01:57Bobby Lee?

  So always do your best. Do you do that?

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  I always try, I guess. I don't know, but I always think it's not the best.

• 1:02:03Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  Fuck you, and you're, hmm.

• 1:02:07Bobby Lee?

  I don't know, because I was thinking about another quote. Here's another quote, right? Is, and I don't want to name, but the guy that's, because if I say the guy that said it, then everyone's gonna go, bom, bom, bom, right? But I like the quote.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:02:22Bobby Lee?

  And he said, um, 80 to 90% of life is just showing up.

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  Steve Harvey.

• 1:02:28Bobby Lee?

  No. I would say Steve Harvey's name. Why would I not say Steve Harvey?

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Who is it then?

• 1:02:33Bobby Lee?

  Woody Allen.

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:02:34Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so, I think that's true. 80, 90%, I think, here, like, can I, I don't want to speak on your behalf.

• 1:02:41Speaker 02

  No, no, go ahead.

• 1:02:42Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Because I've thought about this a lot.

• 1:02:46Bobby Lee?

  I think a lot of you and I specifically are our success is just we just chose to do one thing. And we did the bare minimum, which is go up, right?

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  And a lot, yeah, and that's one thing I could do.

• 1:03:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I can go up a lot. Yeah, like I have one tonight, you know what I mean? I had one last night, two Saturday. I constantly go up. It's the only thing that I've done, right? Everything else is just like a struggle.

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  Same.

• 1:03:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Um, a lot of my anxiety right now is because I have to do a special, so I'm like trying to like this chunk, this chunk, and how and working, it's causing me so much anxiety.

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  So I had the same thing, dude, I should have put something out years ago.

• 1:03:30Bobby Lee?

  Have you? I've never have? Yeah. And let me say something, you should do it now because.

• 1:03:34Speaker 02

  Cause then you get sick of it. And then what happens is when you're sick of telling something.

• 1:03:37Bobby Lee?

  You can't do, there's no.

• 1:03:38Speaker 02

  You can't fake it. You can't, when the audience will smell it, they just know you're not in it.

• 1:03:42Bobby Lee?

  There was a couple of older jokes, right? And I kind of bailed on them. I go, they don't work anymore. My notebook joke, my Titanic joke, that's how far back I'm going.

• 1:03:53Speaker 08

  Yeah, I was like, bro.

• 1:03:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I was trying to rework really old shit.

• 1:03:57Speaker 08

  Oh, wow.

• 1:03:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, because I'm trying to.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  All my OJ Simpson material, it's just not working. It's not working.

• 1:04:04Bobby Lee?

  It's not working. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyways, so I think that a lot of our thing is just showing up.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I can do that. Like, if you tell me what to do, like, I'll go and do that every day, you know?

• 1:04:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:15Speaker 02

  But then, like, for us, I don't know, I'm speaking for myself and this may be you too, but if I don't have a structure or somebody, you know, like, that's why Mad TV was great, cause like, oh, I go there, I do this, I show up at this time, and then I felt like I was always doing something.

• 1:04:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 1:04:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I was.

• 1:04:29Speaker 02

  But if it's up to me, I'm gonna go fuck off and go fishing or something, or like, or spend some other thing, like, you know, like, getting into something else and just wasting my time with that.

• 1:04:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  As opposed to like going and doing like what Adam Ray does is doing all the work.

• 1:04:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's, him and also, um, Jeremiah Watkins.

• 1:04:48Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:48Bobby Lee?

  Is very, the same kind of thing of a go-getter, just constantly on the move.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  He got his camera with him all the time. He's filming shit, he's putting clips out.

• 1:04:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. He like, he's doing everything.

• 1:04:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:58Bobby Lee?

  And I watch him from afar like, what's he doing? You know what I mean? I don't do that.

• 1:05:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:04Bobby Lee?

  Why, I think it has to do with though, I think you and I have similar dads.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  Oh, a hundred percent.

• 1:05:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Your dad was a, he's still alive, right?

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  He's still alive, yeah.

• 1:05:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. When's the last time you saw him?

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  Uh, a few months ago, maybe, yeah, a month and a half, a few months.

• 1:05:17Bobby Lee?

  Well, he lives in?

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  He lives in Iran. But anyway, my dad comes every now and then.

• 1:05:20Bobby Lee?

  And then when you, when you, when he comes, what do you guys, what do you guys do?

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  I see him once the three months he's, he's here.

• 1:05:25Bobby Lee?

  And you, is there a hug that occurs?

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:28Bobby Lee?

  Like, you guys are?

• 1:05:29Speaker 02

  We're just not very.

• 1:05:29Bobby Lee?

  Kiss on the cheek?

• 1:05:30Speaker 02

  No, I mean, yeah, maybe, but we're not very. But it's like a bullshit, uh, thing.

• 1:05:35Bobby Lee?

  Kiss on the cheek, I hear.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  All the traumas, how are you? I think he feels sorry.

• 1:05:39Bobby Lee?

  I don't even know.

• 1:05:40Speaker 02

  Sounds good. I think he feels sorry for all the stuff back then. I'm sorry for beating you so much, like. He's not your dad. Oh, you're imagining Asian accent? Yeah, you are. I think every accent Bobby does turns into an Asian accent. I'm Persian, my friend. No, it's like this, man. It's like this, man. I tell some stories about him recently that I've been really excited about telling and, and they're really fun to do.

• 1:06:00Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  Just like talk, talking about him.

• 1:06:02Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  Uh, like him coming to a show, cause he doesn't like put up with joking when people like try to joke with him. And a comic tried to do crowd work with him.

• 1:06:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh my, I can imagine.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, and he's in the front, we do with my brother and his, and my brother's friend.

• 1:06:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  And, and, and the guy gets my dad, he's like, hey, and my dad just goes, just go to the next guy. Oh my god.

• 1:06:23Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 1:06:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:24Bobby Lee?

  That's so funny.

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  It's so funny.

• 1:06:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:26Speaker 02

  I've just like bid on working out that it's so funny, cause of what he did in, in the comic.

• 1:06:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's, it's very funny.

• 1:06:32Bobby Lee?

  I have a, I have a photo, it's, I think it's on my early Instagram, where I, I played Huckleberry Finn.

• 1:06:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:39Bobby Lee?

  In a play.

• 1:06:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:40Bobby Lee?

  And it's my dad watching, and he's fully asleep.

• 1:06:44Bobby Lee?

  You, you could just, my dad, completely asleep, like, like that, yeah, yeah. Cause they're immigrants, they don't know.

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  They don't know, do my dad, like, I was just doing the Hollywood Improv, I'll, I'll like headline there every now and then, just to do my hour in town. And I'm doing it and he was in town, he's like, yeah, I mean, I wanna, you come up there, you watch you. Dude, I saved two seats for him, like the best seats in the house.

• 1:07:03Bobby Lee?

  At the Improv?

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  Guess who's not, who, every other seat is sold.

• 1:07:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  And they've kept two and there's people like waiting to come.

• 1:07:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  Guess what, two seats are empty.

• 1:07:11Bobby Lee?

  Your dad's seat, they never came?

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  He came like after twenty, thirty minutes and I'm like, fuck, you know, like even to this day.

• 1:07:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  It's like all those times, you know, like he never came to a wrestling thing or whatever, like whatever. And you're just like, fuck, and it's still bothering me. I'm in my forties, dude, I'm like, I'm like.

• 1:07:28Bobby Lee?

  Look. Oh.

• 1:07:29Speaker 02

  And I'm just like, fuck, and I'm in the back and I'm going like, you know, Marcelo's with me and he's like, dude, don't worry about that, you know.

• 1:07:34Bobby Lee?

  Who's Marcelo?

• 1:07:35Speaker 02

  Marcel Hernandez. You know, Marcelo's super funny.

• 1:07:38Bobby Lee?

  Hilarious. He's the future.

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  He's the, literally, I've been saying this kid is the future.

• 1:07:44Bobby Lee?

  Marcelo's the future.

• 1:07:45Speaker 02

  He's the, dude, I've never.

• 1:07:46Bobby Lee?

  I love that kid so much.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  I love him too. And he's so like, I, like, he has everything. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:07:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay, can I just say something? Here's the thing, yeah, there he is, Marcelo, SNL.

• 1:07:55Speaker 02

  He's so good.

• 1:07:56Bobby Lee?

  Looks. What, yeah, he's got the, he's got the ability to.

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  Dude, confidence, ability, the jokes, he's so comfortable on stage and just like, he's so.

• 1:08:05Bobby Lee?

  He did that rap with Timothy Chalamet over the weekend, that was so good, right?

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:08Bobby Lee?

  And his singing, Timothy. He needs to die. He's too talented. But this kid, and here's the thing, what I love about him is, he's smart.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  So smart. Dude, he took my Instagram and just like for two hours, like deleted everything.

• 1:08:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  He goes, don't put this, don't have this. He's just so smart. I don't know that shit. He's a kid, you know, he's like younger, he gets it. I don't know.

• 1:08:31Bobby Lee?

  I love him. So anyway, so your dad eventually showed up?

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  He eventually showed up.

• 1:08:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:35Speaker 02

  Okay. You know, he was cool, but it was just like that whole thing, like he doesn't give a fuck. It's like, and I'm sitting there like worrying about, you know, it's just, uh, whatever, I don't know. Kind of shit bothers you still?

• 1:08:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know, my dad, there was a sense of, he doesn't even know what it is.

• 1:08:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:52Bobby Lee?

  So I remember playing the Phoenix Live, the first time I played it, when my dad was still alive. And he was in the green room. And he's going. What, what, what gonna happen? I go, what do you mean? Why all the people here?

• 1:09:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:08Bobby Lee?

  I go, they're here to see me. Why?

• 1:09:12Bobby Lee?

  Like, that's how little he knows.

• 1:09:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:14Bobby Lee?

  How, how do it work?

• 1:09:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:16Bobby Lee?

  Like, how does it work, right? I go, what do you mean, like? Oh, so they coming free?

• 1:09:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:22Bobby Lee?

  No, I go, they pay money. Oh, why? You know what I mean? Like, he, he doesn't know, even know why people would wanna see him.

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:09:30Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 1:09:30Speaker 02

  And my dad, dude, he, he like, after the show, this is like, what he'll say to me, I was like. Well, I guess you're popular.

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  And then he'll just like, yeah, and then he gets uncomfortable and it's weird and like, you know, then it's like, I'm like, Dad, come hang out, let's have, let's have a drink upstairs.

• 1:09:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:46Speaker 02

  I don't wanna bother you and your friends.

• 1:09:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But did he go up there?

• 1:09:50Speaker 02

  Huh?

• 1:09:50Bobby Lee?

  He didn't go up there.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:09:51Bobby Lee?

  He didn't?

• 1:09:52Speaker 02

  No, he didn't.

• 1:09:53Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:09:53Speaker 02

  He just, he get, my dad gets, he's very uncomfortable in his own skin.

• 1:09:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:57Speaker 02

  You know what I'm saying?

• 1:09:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:58Speaker 02

  He doesn't know, and he, he's always, he's an immigrant, we're immigrants, I was born in Iran, he was, so he always has this like, thing that like. No, it's not for us, you know, it's for those guys and.

• 1:10:08Bobby Lee?

  Here's, you know what I don't like about my dad? And my mom too, back in the day. Is this whole model minority bullshit.

• 1:10:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:10:15Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? They, they made it seem like. We're lucky to be here.

• 1:10:20Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:10:20Bobby Lee?

  When a white man say hi, you say hi. You know what I mean? And I, as a kid, I was like. Oh, so they're the boss?

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, don't, you know, don't cause no trouble, you know what I mean?

• 1:10:31Speaker 02

  Would your dad act totally different around, like?

• 1:10:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, they would bow.

• 1:10:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, my dad would be like, oh, how are you?

• 1:10:37Bobby Lee?

  I'm like, dude, that, that's the fucking mailman, that's the bow to the mailman, what the fuck is going on? You know what I mean? Mother, hello, you know what I mean? Some fucking, you know, I mean, parking ticket person, oh, I got the seat, you know what I mean? I go, he's giving out tickets, man, you know, I mean, what are you respecting that guy for, you know what I mean? But it's like, he, they came here like. Don't, and that's why I think.

• 1:10:55Speaker 02

  Don't like, cause any disturbance.

• 1:10:56Bobby Lee?

  Right, but that's what I think, I was like. No, I'm causing a disturbance.

• 1:11:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:01Bobby Lee?

  And I'm gonna express myself in the complete opposite way. Just walk down the street with my dick out, you know, I don't give a fuck, you know what I mean, but it's like. Yeah? What's your dad's like? What's your dad's like?

• 1:11:13Speaker 03

  Dad's?

• 1:11:14Bobby Lee?

  Your dad.

• 1:11:14Speaker 03

  My dad?

• 1:11:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:16Speaker 03

  Same thing. He's never told me he loved me.

• 1:11:19Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:11:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:21Speaker 03

  I think I was, because I'm the only boy, I'm the only boy in the house, so I think.

• 1:11:25Bobby Lee?

  He's never said, "I love you."

• 1:11:28Speaker 03

  "I love you, Jaime." Yeah.

• 1:11:29Bobby Lee?

  How about your mom?

• 1:11:30Speaker 02

  He never said that, one time?

• 1:11:31Speaker 03

  Never heard him. He's still alive, thank God, but you know.

• 1:11:34Bobby Lee?

  Praise the Lord.

• 1:11:35Speaker 03

  Praise the Lord.

• 1:11:36Bobby Lee?

  But how about your mom?

• 1:11:37Speaker 03

  Mom, she tells me, you know, moms.

• 1:11:39Bobby Lee?

  But your mom and dad are still together, living?

• 1:11:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:42Bobby Lee?

  Do they know what you do? Like, what do they think you do?

• 1:11:43Speaker 03

  They don't understand what I do. They're like, "Who do you work for?" I said, "This Chinaman," and you know, they don't believe me. They see you on YouTube.

• 1:11:52Speaker 02

  You worked for this Chinaman.

• 1:11:55Speaker 03

  That is my parents' words, not mine.

• 1:11:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that wasn't you?

• 1:11:58Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:11:59Bobby Lee?

  What do you call me?

• 1:12:00Speaker 03

  Bobby.

• 1:12:00Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good.

• 1:12:01Speaker 03

  Mr. Bobby.

• 1:12:02Bobby Lee?

  Mr. Bobby.

• 1:12:03Speaker 02

  How did you get him?

• 1:12:05Bobby Lee?

  So, um...

• 1:12:06Speaker 02

  In a raffle?

• 1:12:08Speaker 03

  It rhymes with raffle.

• 1:12:10Bobby Lee?

  Barbosa came.

• 1:12:11Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:12:12Bobby Lee?

  And you know, they grew up on the same street together, their best friend.

• 1:12:14Speaker 02

  Oh shit, really? No way. Oh, that's cool.

• 1:12:16Bobby Lee?

  And then, he was just sitting over there where EJ's sitting. And I go, "Get this guy on the mic, there's something weird about him."

• 1:12:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:22Bobby Lee?

  And we've been flying him out ever since.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  You're kidding me. That's... Where do you live?

• 1:12:26Speaker 03

  In Texas.

• 1:12:27Speaker 02

  You do? Oh, no shit.

• 1:12:28Bobby Lee?

  That's why he's tired, we fly him out here.

• 1:12:30Speaker 02

  You gotta be kidding me, I did not know that, that's so cool. Dude, Ralphie's a killer.

• 1:12:34Bobby Lee?

  He's a killer, yeah. Um, here's what I want, an exercise I want you to do. I want you to look at your dad's eyes, the next time you see him.

• 1:12:43Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:12:44Bobby Lee?

  And I want you to say it.

• 1:12:45Speaker 02

  Call him a faggot.

• 1:12:49Bobby Lee?

  He might connect to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just go, "Uh, daddy?" You be the dad, I want to see him say it.

• 1:12:57Speaker 02

  Okay, let's go.

• 1:12:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:00Speaker 02

  "Mijo, clean your room."

• 1:13:01Bobby Lee?

  I know, but what do you do? I want to know what you're doing, you're writing?

• 1:13:03Speaker 03

  I'm writing a joke.

• 1:13:04Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:13:05Speaker 02

  "Hey, mijo, is that your suicide letter?"

• 1:13:09Speaker 02

  "It better be, get out of this house."

• 1:13:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:13Speaker 03

  Is that your Mexican accent?

• 1:13:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:15Speaker 03

  He doesn't speak English.

• 1:13:16Speaker 02

  Okay, better. All right, ready?

• 1:13:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:19Speaker 03

  See, Dad? ¿Qué estás haciendo? De un chiste.

• 1:13:23Speaker 02

  ¿Cómo?

• 1:13:23Speaker 03

  Chiste, joke. Ah, ah, ah, payaso.

• 1:13:26Speaker 02

  "I love you."

• 1:13:28Bobby Lee?

  No, I want him to say it.

• 1:13:29Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:30Bobby Lee?

  He's not gonna say it.

• 1:13:31Speaker 02

  Okay, okay. "Hey, mijo."

• 1:13:32Speaker 03

  "Hey, Dad." ¿Qué pasa, pa?

• 1:13:35Speaker 02

  ¿Tu mamá está muerta?

• 1:13:37Speaker 03

  Oh, man. Chingao.

• 1:13:39Bobby Lee?

  What did she say?

• 1:13:40Speaker 02

  "Your mother is dead."

• 1:13:43Bobby Lee?

  Uh.

• 1:13:45Bobby Lee?

  Pa, te quiero decir, uncle. Gimme your mano.

• 1:13:48Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:13:49Bobby Lee?

  I love you, dad.

• 1:13:50Speaker 03

  Are you gay?

• 1:13:51Bobby Lee?

  No, dad.

• 1:13:52Speaker 03

  Why are you telling me?

• 1:13:53Bobby Lee?

  It was just a phase, remember? I want, I want you to, I want you to say, "I love you, dear dad." I did. No, I mean, in real life. I love you, dad. No, when you get back.

• 1:14:03Bobby Lee?

  What the fuck are we doing? I don't know, why were you holding hands for that long? That was weird. We're all confused. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What improv is this? It's crazy. Yeah, alright. Yeah, I want you, you know, in fact, I, I want all of us in this room to call our parents in the next week and tell them that we love them. Okay. And I, you know, I learned something new today that I, I honest, can I be honest with you guys? And I think I've been a little affected by it.

• 1:14:30Bobby Lee?

  This, this episode where I kinda looked out my, outside myself and I thought, I, people are intimidated by me. I, that's something that I never really even considered, really. And I don't, I think it's you.

• 1:14:46Bobby Lee?

  You. I'm with you, Bob. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I think it's, I think it's. Because I, I, I, yeah, because I'm just being me. Alright. I agree, I agree. Right? And you guys are on your, you know what I mean? But do you get intimidated, you get intimidated around some people at the store? So, I get it around Bill Burr. Like, last week, you know what I mean, I had to do, did you, did I tell you the game I played last week? I played the Michael Bay, um, bounce around game. What's that? So, Michael Bay showed up, right? And I don't like talking to him, like, for a long time. So, I go, "Come here, Andrew," and I pawned Michael Bay off to Andrew Santino. That's hilarious. Right? And then I walk away, and then I can see Andrew go, "Come back," right? So, then I got Bill Burr, right?

• 1:15:27Bobby Lee?

  So, Michael Bay's one, Bill Burr is one, and when I'm in a situation, when I'm with people that I have, because I feel the same way about those people. You know what I mean? I play, I try to get in and out. Right. But at the end of the day, maybe it's gonna, I'm gonna change and go, they're just people, just being themselves. And it's, and all that stuff is in my head about how I feel about them, or in terms of status or whatever, right? It's just like, I think that they're just surviving. I thought, you know, I had a lot of empathy for Bill with that whole Billy Corrigan, Howie Mandel, uh, Howie Mandel, what is fucking going on? Yeah, what was that whole thing? Yeah, I thought it was fake. It was fake, right? It's not fake. I thought that was a bit. So, he was actually pissed?

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  That's a real thing, that's his.

• 1:16:09Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw out a theory.

• 1:16:12Speaker 02

  I think it's, dude, Howie's always doing bits.

• 1:16:14Speaker 00

  It's bits, right?

• 1:16:15Speaker 02

  He's always doing bits, like when he, like when Dane, Dana White walked out on his podcast, that was a bit and everyone thought it was real.

• 1:16:21Speaker 00

  But Bobby did point something out when Howie came on last time, that Mettan has changed Howie.

• 1:16:26Bobby Lee?

  Thank you Gilbert, that's what it's, so that's, so here's my theory, okay? The kid that talks like this? That kid changed Howie for sure? Yeah, that kid.

• 1:16:36Speaker 02

  That kid's, what is that kid?

• 1:16:38Bobby Lee?

  I don't know, and we're trying to figure that out, he's a troll. So here's the thing, I, when I saw the video where Howie, you know what I mean, confronts Bill Burr, brings Billy Corgan on, and it was a complete sabotage, okay? And I feel somewhat at fault here, and I'm gonna tell you my theory, okay? I run into Mettan a year ago on Sunset, I'd seen him on YouTube, and he was a sweet kid. He's like, I wanna know how you do, how do I do podcasting with you guys, you know? And I go, uh, just you'll get there, but then one day I was talking to Andrew and I go, let's bring him in. And we brought him in, and it was wild, bringing Mettan in.

• 1:17:23Bobby Lee?

  And then he did, um, Whitney did his because he did my, you know, I feel like I, he entered our world.

• 1:17:31Speaker 00

  Your ecosystem.

• 1:17:32Bobby Lee?

  Of my ecosystem because of me, right? And then the next thing I know, I'm at The Laugh Factory, right? And I see Howie and Mettan together, right?

• 1:17:42Speaker 02

  Kissing.

• 1:17:43Bobby Lee?

  I mean, almost, I mean, they're giggling.

• 1:17:45Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:17:45Bobby Lee?

  And they're giggling like school kids, and I was shocked, I'm like, what the fuck is this?

• 1:17:50Speaker 02

  At The Laugh Factory, upstairs?

• 1:17:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, apparently he went up to, Mettan went up to Arsenio Hall, said something very racist, I don't know what it was. Like, are you black?

• 1:17:56Speaker 00

  Okay, he asked him, are you black?

• 1:17:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, are you black, you know what I mean? And Arsenio's like, get the fuck out of here, right? And so I called Mike Binder that night, and I go, um, what the fuck? Wait, Howie Mandel's hanging out with Mettan? And Mike Binder, who's been around since the 70s, said this, he goes, oh, you don't know?

• 1:18:18Bobby Lee?

  They're the same guy. I go, what do you mean? He goes, when Howie first moved here from Canada, he was that. He was a troll.

• 1:18:27Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:18:27Bobby Lee?

  Right? And he was just like Matan, causing controversy and, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? And just playing tricks.

• 1:18:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:18:34Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? And like, you know what I mean? Kind of crossing these social lines, you know what I mean?

• 1:18:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:18:39Bobby Lee?

  And then as soon as Matan met Howie, met Matan, it rekindled.

• 1:18:45Speaker 02

  That use of.

• 1:18:46Bobby Lee?

  That aspect of Howie. So that when Howie did our, and he went upstairs with the camera and woke me up in my own room.

• 1:18:52Speaker 00

  Just right here.

• 1:18:53Bobby Lee?

  Like this right here, right? He went upstairs into my room, dude.

• 1:18:56Speaker 02

  Oh, so he's doing Matan again. Now he's being.

• 1:18:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, get the fuck out of my house, dude. You know what I mean?

• 1:19:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, anyway, so, um. So, yeah, that pissed me off. And then when, then I saw him and, um, Bill do that. So I think it's very much real.

• 1:19:13Speaker 02

  Oh, so now he's just creating all these things?

• 1:19:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:16Speaker 02

  I mean, they look a lot alike, but I thought this was, I thought this.

• 1:19:18Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. So Billy Corgan, um, I mean, and we've done some research. So Billy Corgan, I don't even know if I should be talking about it, but should we or I don't know.

• 1:19:26Speaker 00

  I mean, it's public, so.

• 1:19:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:27Speaker 00

  What can you share?

• 1:19:28Bobby Lee?

  What can I say is, so Billy Corgan had a theory that, you know what I mean? That his mom said, did you know Bill Burr? This is 10 years ago.

• 1:19:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:37Bobby Lee?

  And Billy Corgan goes, I don't know who he is. I don't, you know, he's like, he's a comedian. And his mom said, Bill Burr might be one of your dad's illegitimate, you know what I mean? Brothers.

• 1:19:49Speaker 02

  But, but he knows his dad. Bill Burr knows his dad.

• 1:19:52Bobby Lee?

  But his dad was a musician and he went back and forth. Was always on touring.

• 1:19:57Speaker 02

  Bill Burr's dad was?

• 1:19:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:19:59Bobby Lee?

  Right, so then.

• 1:20:00Speaker 02

  Oh, so he, he was his stepbrother. I mean, like his, his, uh.

• 1:20:05Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:20:05Speaker 00

  Half brother?

• 1:20:06Speaker 02

  Half brother, sorry.

• 1:20:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had the same dad.

• 1:20:09Speaker 02

  Different.

• 1:20:09Bobby Lee?

  Touring musician, right? Could have had, apparently what Billy Corgan says on this is that he might have 12 illegitimate kids out there. Is what Billy Corgan said. And not in this interview, in an interview he did way before this. Couple of weeks before this.

• 1:20:24Speaker 02

  I mean, they look a lot alike, but.

• 1:20:25Bobby Lee?

  Right, so I just think it's an interesting thing. I mean, I want that come. To have that kind of come, to have two juggernauts.

• 1:20:34Speaker 00

  Sorry.

• 1:20:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're not Bill Burr's dad?

• 1:20:38Bobby Lee?

  I want your cum.

• 1:20:44Bobby Lee?

  Wow, ultimate callback. Ultimate callback, yeah, yeah. I mean, imagine having a man give birth to two kids that who don't know each other, and they both became juggernauts of theirs, you know what I mean? Their thing.

• 1:20:55Speaker 02

  That's insane.

• 1:20:56Bobby Lee?

  Is insane.

• 1:20:56Speaker 02

  That's why I thought it was so fake, because I was like, there's no way. I watched like, two minutes and I was like, oh, this is Howie doing a prank or something.

• 1:21:02Bobby Lee?

  No, I think cum has a lot to do with it, the power of the cum. Yeah, Eckhart Tolle should do a new book called Power of Cum.

• 1:21:08Speaker 02

  The consistency of cum is like that of

• 1:21:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:13Speaker 02

  marshmallows when you are dehydrated.

• 1:21:16Bobby Lee?

  Because you know how, you know how Trump talks about genes?

• 1:21:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:19Bobby Lee?

  Well, he's got good genes.

• 1:21:21Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:21:21Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? I think in many ways, I think that like, you know, like the Copolas, great genes. You know what I mean? Nicholas, Jason Schwartzman, Talia Shire, you know what I mean?

• 1:21:31Speaker 02

  Are these all Copolas?

• 1:21:32Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:21:33Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:21:34Bobby Lee?

  They're all Copolas that changed it, yeah.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  They changed their name.

• 1:21:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, Schwartzman's dad, mom is a Coppola. Jason and Robert, right? But it's like they're, you know, she's Francis Ford Coppola's sister, right? But the Coppola gene, you know what I mean? Is strong.

• 1:21:49Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:21:49Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Um, is your, I think our genes are strong, do you think?

• 1:21:53Speaker 02

  Do you think so?

• 1:21:54Bobby Lee?

  I don't know, probably weak.

• 1:21:56Speaker 02

  Who knows?

• 1:21:56Bobby Lee?

  We're a nominee.

• 1:21:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't think, I don't know much about my dad's side of the family.

• 1:21:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:59Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:22:00Bobby Lee?

  You think you guys, you have good genes in your family, everyone? How about you? Nope. Okay.

• 1:22:05Speaker 02

  They don't have genes, they have shorts.

• 1:22:08Speaker 02

  They only have shorts, huh?

• 1:22:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:11Speaker 03

  Most with t-shirts.

• 1:22:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:13Speaker 03

  You know why you intimidate me, Bobby?

• 1:22:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, we love it.

• 1:22:17Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:22:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 1:22:18Speaker 03

  Because like, I grew up watching him on Mad TV. So like, when I met him, like, I don't want to offend him or anything. So that's why I always watch that while I say.

• 1:22:27Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? May I say something to you?

• 1:22:29Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:22:32Bobby Lee?

  There's nothing that I wouldn't do for you. I, for the rest of my life, and hopefully your life, okay? You can ask me for anything, I'll do everything I can to oblige, because I love you that much. I think you're an anomaly, I think you're super talented, I think you're a nice kid, and I really, truly love you. And I feel the same about you, Amir, I've always have, you know that, right?

• 1:22:57Speaker 02

  I'm kinda offended you didn't start with me.

• 1:22:58Bobby Lee?

  I know. I wanted to go here, but I, I, I really, I've always been on your side.

• 1:23:05Speaker 02

  I know you have.

• 1:23:06Bobby Lee?

  And I've always thought great things about you. And, um, even when you weren't a paid regular, there was a huge campaign on my part.

• 1:23:14Speaker 02

  I appreciate it.

• 1:23:15Bobby Lee?

  Like, why the fuck is this guy not passed?

• 1:23:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, it took me years.

• 1:23:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and so, um, I hopefully, with both of you, um, I'm not as intimidating. You know what I mean? Because I really, I'm super sensitive, and I'm scared, and I'm just, I'm not going, I'm not, I'm having a rough batch here. You know what I mean? I'm really like, not doing well, you know? I'm scared. I feel so sad. So, um, you know, I just hope that you guys, you know, absorbed that just now.

• 1:23:47Speaker 02

  I fucking love you, man.

• 1:23:48Bobby Lee?

  I love you too, man, so.

• 1:23:49Speaker 02

  And this has been the last podcast, Tiger, really?

• 1:23:53Speaker 02

  Check the salty, I'm salty. Bobby's not gonna be here next week, but I will.

• 1:23:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:58Speaker 02

  No, I love you, Bobby, really. I, I fucking love you to death, bro, and like, uh, just you saying that, because I know you've shared some vulnerable moments in, in our history of like, well, I've known you over fifteen years.

• 1:24:08Bobby Lee?

  We've connected for a long time.

• 1:24:10Speaker 02

  And I appreciate you, and know that you're loved by everyone in the community, dude. Like, and when I meet people, the first, like, you're one of three comics they ask about is always you. Like, how's Bobby Lee? You know Bobby Lee? They always ask that. Anytime I post a picture of us together or some shit like that, people like fucking flip out when I, when I say I even know you.

• 1:24:28Bobby Lee?

  So Amir's gonna be at the Casper, Wyoming.

• 1:24:31Speaker 02

  Dude, this is sad, my dates are so sad, I don't have the state.

• 1:24:34Bobby Lee?

  That's eleventh, that already happened, right?

• 1:24:36Speaker 02

  That already happened. I have Columba, when is this coming out? I don't even know.

• 1:24:39Speaker 04

  Probably next week.

• 1:24:40Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, so I'll, I'll have done that. I just have the Hollywood Improv coming up on the twenty-third of February.

• 1:24:46Bobby Lee?

  Well, come to the Hollywood Improv. You're headlining that, though?

• 1:24:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:49Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good. Come to the Hollywood Improv, you're gonna be in my movie.

• 1:24:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:53Bobby Lee?

  I have a movie.

• 1:24:54Speaker 02

  Do you?

• 1:24:54Bobby Lee?

  You're gonna be in my movie.

• 1:24:55Speaker 02

  Would you write a part for me?

• 1:24:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're not gonna audition or anything.

• 1:24:58Speaker 02

  I love you.

• 1:24:59Bobby Lee?

  You're out. Sweet. I'm totally kidding. Um, give Amir Akay a round of applause, that was so fun. Oh dude, that was a lot of fun. Thank you. Thank you.