Pod Insights TigerBelly Riley Reid is QUITTING to start Comedy About this episode Riley Reid joins us for the 1st time and Jamie eats balut. We chat Ukrainian kids, bean sleeper, electro quartz seduction, Bobby Fleshlight, and $80 stripclub.
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Transcript 18,694 words · 7 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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1:25 Bobby Lee? First I was afraid, I was petrified.
1:28 Speaker 02 Didn't know how long.
1:31 Bobby Lee? Oh, you're very good.
1:34 Bobby Lee? You're a singer too, oh my god. Great at lyrics.
1:37 Speaker 02 Thank you.
1:38 Bobby Lee? Amazing. Let's start. So today we have. Riley Reid is here. Riley, where are you from?
1:52 Speaker 02 I was born Miami Beach.
1:54 Bobby Lee? On the beach?
1:54 Speaker 02 On the beach.
1:55 Bobby Lee? No, in a hospital or on a beach?
1:57 Speaker 02 In a hospital, but my birth certificate says Miami Beach. It's a city in Miami.
2:02 Bobby Lee? How cool would it be to be born on a beach, though?
2:05 Speaker 02 Oh, that sounds like sandy.
2:07 Bobby Lee? It's sandy, yeah. But you would probably become a surfer.
2:10 Speaker 02 Not in Miami.
2:11 Bobby Lee? Okay.
2:13 Speaker 02 We don't have surf waves.
2:14 Bobby Lee? I don't know much about it.
2:15 Speaker 02 You've never been?
2:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I'm gonna go, where am I going in two weeks?
2:19 Speaker 02 Is this the first time you're going?
2:20 Bobby Lee? No, I've been there before, but I just don't like.
2:24 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? He doesn't like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't like Congo music. I don't like Congo. Yeah, I don't like any of that, man.
2:32 Speaker 02 How dare you try to insult my people?
2:34 Bobby Lee? Well, no, but there's a lot of, you know, I mean, eh, cocaine and all that stuff. I don't like it. But you know what? It's the game, the Grand Theft Auto game that was pretty cool, you know, some of those. Yeah, yeah. But, um, so you're born.
2:45 Speaker 02 Like plantains, empanadas.
2:47 Bobby Lee? You're a plantain person? You prefer plantains over bananas, dog?
2:51 Speaker 02 Yes, actually, I think I'm slightly allergic to bananas.
2:54 Bobby Lee? Why? Do you get diarrhea?
2:55 Speaker 02 No, my tongue gets really itchy.
2:57 Bobby Lee? Oh, really? Oh, I didn't know that. All fruit or just that?
3:00 Speaker 02 Why would you know that? I mean, why would you know about me?
3:03 Bobby Lee? It's a fun fact. We all know. She gets her tongue gets all bumpy when she eats bananas.
3:08 Speaker 02 Not bumpy, itchy.
3:09 Bobby Lee? Itchy, whatever, whatever. So you prefer plantains over bananas?
3:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:14 Bobby Lee? You don't get itchy mouth with plantains?
3:15 Speaker 02 No, probably because they're cooked.
3:17 Bobby Lee? Have you cooked a banana? There we go.
3:20 Speaker 02 No.
3:21 Bobby Lee? See, okay, so, um.
3:23 Speaker 02 Will you try it?
3:24 Bobby Lee? So empanada, what's that all about?
3:26 Speaker 02 Oh, my God, it's so good. It's like a pastry filled with like beef and olives and delicious sauce.
3:32 Bobby Lee? I know what it is!
3:33 Speaker 02 Oh, well, I don't know.
3:35 Bobby Lee? What's it all about, though? Your feeling when you eat it?
3:37 Speaker 02 My feeling is like I'm at home.
3:40 Bobby Lee? Wait, you're Cuban?
3:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, what are you?
3:42 Speaker 02 That I'm, uh, I'm Puerto Rican and Dominican.
3:45 Bobby Lee? Oh, really?
3:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:47 Bobby Lee? Oh, wow.
3:47 Speaker 03 I'm Mexican over here.
3:51 Speaker 03 Same.
3:52 Speaker 02 My food is better.
3:53 Bobby Lee? It's not the same, dude. Don't say it's the same. It's not the same.
3:56 Speaker 02 It's definitely not the same.
3:57 Bobby Lee? Thank you, Riley.
3:58 Speaker 02 We're like island people.
3:59 Speaker 03 You speak Spanish?
4:00 Speaker 02 Poquito.
4:00 Speaker 03 Okay, yo también.
4:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you don't know what that means, dog?
4:04 Speaker 03 You know, you don't need to.
4:06 Bobby Lee? Okay, it's fine.
4:06 Speaker 02 Muy, muy poquito. No tengo dinero.
4:10 Speaker 03 I wasn't asking for money.
4:16 Bobby Lee? Do you think if you asked money as a homeless person in Hispanic, Mexican, or Spanish, you get more or less money, you think?
4:23 Speaker 03 More.
4:24 Bobby Lee? Give me something to say as a homeless person. I don't know what to say.
4:28 Speaker 02 Like?
4:28 Bobby Lee? I'm asking for money. Go ahead.
4:30 Speaker 02 Like in Span- oh, you're asking?
4:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, ask me. What do I say?
4:33 Speaker 03 What do you mean?
4:35 Bobby Lee? Sorry, I took an edible.
4:36 Speaker 00 No, Bobby, let's have some patience.
4:37 Bobby Lee? I'm just sorry, Riley. I said, this guy, you know, he's never read a book.
4:40 Speaker 02 Is that why you put him so far?
4:41 Bobby Lee? So far.
4:43 Speaker 03 I don't know, it's because I took an edible right now, so...
4:45 Bobby Lee? Did you really?
4:46 Speaker 03 No.
4:47 Bobby Lee? Okay. Why do you lie?
4:48 Speaker 00 Why do you lie so much?
4:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, what's wrong with you?
4:51 Speaker 03 Can I not take edibles?
4:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, forget about this homeless thing. I've lost interest.
4:55 Speaker 00 Let's address other things.
4:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, let's address other things, I've lost interest. So you were born in Miami Beach?
5:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:00 Bobby Lee? Florida?
5:01 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
5:01 Bobby Lee? And you were raised there?
5:02 Speaker 02 Yes.
5:03 Bobby Lee? And then, are your parents still together?
5:06 Speaker 02 No.
5:06 Bobby Lee? Okay. Was it a nice home, broken home, what happened?
5:09 Speaker 02 Broken home.
5:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we all have broken homes.
5:12 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a lot of sadness?
5:14 Speaker 02 Yeah. I don't, I actually repressed a lot of my memories, so I don't have much childhood memories.
5:21 Bobby Lee? Oh, you don't?
5:22 Speaker 02 No.
5:23 Bobby Lee? Right, you probably fantasize a lot?
5:25 Speaker 02 About...
5:26 Bobby Lee? No, when you, like...
5:26 Speaker 02 Like when I was a kid? I don't remember.
5:28 Bobby Lee? At all?
5:29 Speaker 02 I feel like I only remember at like, to age 10 and up.
5:33 Bobby Lee? Oh, before that, you don't remember?
5:35 Speaker 02 I don't really remember much, no.
5:36 Bobby Lee? I remember a lot.
5:37 Speaker 02 I wish I could remember.
5:38 Bobby Lee? I wish I could forget like you.
5:39 Speaker 02 Oh.
5:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I have a lot of, I had therapy last week, and we talked about a lot of the things that happened to me before I was 10.
5:48 Speaker 02 Oh.
5:48 Bobby Lee? And I couldn't believe I remembered so much.
5:51 Speaker 02 That's really cool.
5:52 Bobby Lee? No, the beatings.
5:54 Speaker 00 Is it cool, Riley?
5:55 Bobby Lee? Is it cool?
5:56 Speaker 02 I think it's cool. I wish that I would have remembered my life, because then maybe I would be, you know, a better person.
6:06 Bobby Lee? Really?
6:07 Speaker 02 I don't know, I mean, I feel like it's normal for people to remember, so I...
6:10 Bobby Lee? I think you're a good person, no?
6:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think I'm a pretty good person.
6:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're getting better as you get older, you think?
6:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, I am.
6:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
6:17 Speaker 02 I think so.
6:18 Bobby Lee? Um, would you help, um, somebody out that was struggling? That you didn't know?
6:22 Speaker 02 I'm actually fostering two children from Ukraine, who are refugees from the war.
6:28 Bobby Lee? Oh, wow.
6:29 Speaker 02 So, yes, I do help people.
6:30 Bobby Lee? What war?
6:30 Speaker 03 You're a good person.
6:33 Bobby Lee? Hello?
6:34 Speaker 02 I'm a pretty good person.
6:35 Bobby Lee? What war, dude?
6:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, you are.
6:37 Bobby Lee? There's a war there?
6:38 Speaker 03 No, she's a great person.
6:39 Bobby Lee? Zelensky, the whole thing, I get it. Yeah. Oh, so are they, are they petrified?
6:46 Bobby Lee? I love the word, don't, first of all, if you bring up the word petrified, I'll say it a bunch. Wasn't that in the lyric and the music earlier?
6:53 Speaker 00 Yeah.
6:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So are they good kids?
6:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, actually, they are through, for everything they've been through, they're actually pretty great kids.
7:03 Bobby Lee? I can't imagine.
7:04 Speaker 03 They have a good sense of humor?
7:07 Speaker 03 You think?
7:07 Speaker 02 Uh, yeah.
7:09 Speaker 03 I would have a good sense of humor.
7:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, but they don't really talk about like-
7:12 Bobby Lee? They love Putin jokes.
7:15 Bobby Lee? What are you talking about?
7:15 Speaker 00 Will you ask? They just left a war-torn country.
7:19 Speaker 02 I mean, well, it's like six years old, so you can only have-
7:22 Speaker 03 You can still laugh, right?
7:23 Speaker 02 So much of humor. Yeah.
7:25 Speaker 03 Just wondering.
7:26 Bobby Lee? Like, a Russian, a Ukrainian walk into a bar, that kind of thing?
7:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
7:31 Bobby Lee? What's the punchline there?
7:32 Speaker 00 I don't even know.
7:33 Bobby Lee? Bartender goes, "Hey, stop it, stop fighting." And the Ukrainian goes, "What?"
7:39 Speaker 00 "Stop looking at us."
7:41 Bobby Lee? I need a punchline, man!
7:42 Speaker 00 I don't want to finish this joke.
7:43 Bobby Lee? And the Ukrainian says, "What?" You know what I mean? "I'm not fighting, he's beating me up."
7:48 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:49 Bobby Lee? Okay, that's a good joke. Um, are their parents okay?
7:52 Speaker 02 No.
7:53 Speaker 00 Oh.
7:54 Bobby Lee? In what way?
7:55 Speaker 02 They're deceased.
7:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's like really sad and it's-
8:00 Bobby Lee? And how old are the kids?
8:01 Speaker 02 Six and 12.
8:03 Speaker 03 Oh my God, God bless the Lord.
8:04 Speaker 00 God bless.
8:05 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:06 Speaker 00 How do you, one, go through that process? How do you, someone to reach out, like, do you reach out to them?
8:11 Speaker 02 Uh, we're like, uh, friends with like a brother of theirs, um, who's just like not able to like help take care of them right now, but, um, so we're like doing some temporary fostering so that the brother can like get his stuff together and then-
8:26 Bobby Lee? So the brother's Ukrainian, obviously?
8:28 Speaker 02 He's, uh, no, they're all here.
8:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, no, but the brother-
8:31 Speaker 03 The friend.
8:32 Bobby Lee? Excuse me?
8:33 Speaker 03 A friend, right?
8:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, the friend is the brother.
8:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I get what you're saying.
8:40 Speaker 03 You know what?
8:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what I'm saying is, I don't want to clear, no, I got it. So the brother, right, um, it's his siblings' kids?
8:51 Speaker 02 No, it's his-
8:52 Bobby Lee? Okay, please tell me.
8:53 Speaker 02 They're just his brothers.
8:54 Bobby Lee? Oh, they're his brothers?
8:55 Speaker 02 They're all brothers.
8:56 Bobby Lee? They're all brothers, okay, my bad, okay. And do they speak English?
9:00 Speaker 02 Uh, yes.
9:00 Bobby Lee? Okay, good.
9:01 Speaker 02 They just learned it here, though, they've been here for about a year.
9:04 Bobby Lee? Wow. Give Riley a round of applause.
9:08 Speaker 02 I mean, a round of applause to these boys for, you know-
9:11 Bobby Lee? Oh, they're two boys?
9:12 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:13 Bobby Lee? Oh, that's so sweet. Are they going to school?
9:16 Speaker 02 Yes.
9:16 Bobby Lee? Oh, that's great.
9:17 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:17 Bobby Lee? They're not rebellious or anything?
9:19 Speaker 02 A little bit, but they're actually pretty good. Like, they've, I honestly thought-
9:23 Bobby Lee? Why are you laughing?
9:24 Speaker 02 I thought that they would be worse with what they've been through.
9:27 Bobby Lee? Have you never seen, like, movies, dude?
9:28 Speaker 03 Yes, I've seen movies, dude.
9:30 Speaker 02 Like, I thought, like, if I, like, took away his phone, that he'd be like, "Brrrrrrrrrr!" punching holes.
9:35 Bobby Lee? Oh, right, right.
9:36 Speaker 02 Like, "Fuck you, bitch!"
9:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:38 Speaker 02 Like, "Sukablat!", but-
9:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, "Sukablat!", "Sukablat!" Yeah, but my, what I'm saying is, is that because some, maybe, because, you know, they don't know how to-
9:45 Speaker 02 Because everything they've been through, yeah, they would be-
9:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and they have to, you know what I mean, they, um-
9:49 Speaker 02 A coping mechanism.
9:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
9:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:51 Bobby Lee? Oh, God, you're so on it, dude.
9:53 Speaker 02 Trust me, I was afraid of it all.
9:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
9:55 Speaker 02 But they're actually, like, doing really well. So, it's still, like, a day-by-day process, but-
10:01 Bobby Lee? Is there a fund that I can contribute to?
10:04 Speaker 02 Oh, no.
10:05 Bobby Lee? If you ever need a fund, I'll contribute.
10:07 Speaker 02 That's so sweet.
10:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I want them to get me some Nike, some Nikes.
10:10 Speaker 02 I think that there's a lot of other families who need some of them.
10:12 Bobby Lee? No, just your, I want those too.
10:14 Speaker 02 They're really cool kids, uh, I'm trying to, like, find a therapist for them.
10:18 Bobby Lee? Manscaped, do they shave yet, or no? I can get some Manscaped.
10:21 Speaker 02 He's 12.
10:21 Bobby Lee? Okay, my bad, you know what I mean? Whatever wants are us. Uh, and we got, you know, were these Filipino beverage, uh, food that you got us, EJ?
10:28 Speaker 00 Isanadas.
10:29 Speaker 03 Isanadas.
10:30 Bobby Lee? Isanadas, if they want some of those, maybe?
10:31 Speaker 03 They can take a couple.
10:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, don't, no, we're not eating that right now. So, Riley, did you get bad grades in that school?
10:37 Speaker 02 No, I did, I was an exceptional student. I did, I, like, graduated early with college credits.
10:43 Bobby Lee? So, you were hot?
10:44 Speaker 02 I had a scholarship.
10:45 Bobby Lee? Were you hot then?
10:46 Speaker 02 I was not hot.
10:47 Bobby Lee? When were you hot?
10:48 Speaker 02 I got hot after starting porn.
10:52 Bobby Lee? No, you gotta be hot before.
10:54 Speaker 02 No, I wasn't.
10:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I know, you gotta be hot.
10:56 Speaker 02 No, but I wasn't.
10:57 Bobby Lee? I'm not gonna ask him, I go, "You wanna do porn?" And then he turns into Esai Morales.
11:01 Speaker 02 I got hot, honestly.
11:02 Bobby Lee? In an hour, a year later.
11:03 Speaker 02 I really got hot later, and like, I also tell like, so many girls, I'm like, "Don't do plastic surgery or anything," because like, I didn't get hot until I was like, in my mid twenties, I feel like. Like, early, I was such an awkward, like, teenager, eighteen, I was still kinda like, pudgy face, and like, I had a weird haircut, and I had a really bad acne.
11:24 Bobby Lee? Really?
11:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, I took Accutane.
11:26 Bobby Lee? Do you remember your first scene?
11:28 Speaker 02 Uh, kind of, yeah.
11:31 Bobby Lee? Were you nervous?
11:32 Speaker 02 Yeah. Yeah.
11:34 Bobby Lee? What?
11:35 Speaker 03 I think anybody will be nervous. You do porn?
11:39 Speaker 03 How did I miss that?
11:41 Bobby Lee? Bro, I think anyone...
11:42 Speaker 03 I thought you were...
11:43 Bobby Lee? First of all, we don't call it, I'm so sorry about you. That was rude.
11:45 Speaker 02 No, it's okay.
11:46 Bobby Lee? No, I went out, Paula.
11:47 Speaker 03 Adult film.
11:47 Bobby Lee? No, no.
11:47 Speaker 02 I don't know what he does.
11:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, nothing.
11:51 Speaker 03 I know some stuff.
11:52 Bobby Lee? He eats beans, right?
11:53 Speaker 03 He eats all his beans.
11:54 Bobby Lee? He eats beans, and he sleeps. Yeah, he's a bean sleeper, okay? Yeah, yeah.
12:00 Speaker 03 I don't eat beans.
12:01 Bobby Lee? And there's some Hispanics that are like that. You're a bean sleeper, and you gotta think through your questions before you ask, 'cause that was rude.
12:07 Speaker 03 Okay, I didn't know you did Adult Film Star. How did I miss that?
12:10 Bobby Lee? She's the biggest...
12:11 Speaker 02 Is it because I don't have big...
12:13 Speaker 03 No, no, I don't watch porn at all, you know?
12:17 Bobby Lee? Hey, Jaime?
12:19 Speaker 03 Do I look like I watch porn?
12:20 Bobby Lee? Yes.
12:21 Speaker 00 You're a bean sleeper.
12:22 Bobby Lee? You're a bean sleeper, dude, they all eat, watch it.
12:24 Speaker 03 How do I have...
12:25 Bobby Lee? Can I just say something to you right now?
12:26 Speaker 03 I eat beans.
12:27 Bobby Lee? No, shut the fuck up for a second, okay?
12:28 Speaker 03 I eat beans.
12:29 Bobby Lee? I've never seen you so rude. I wanna say something right now, okay?
12:32 Speaker 02 Is he trying to show off?
12:33 Bobby Lee? I don't know what he's doing. Yeah, he has machismo, you know how the Mexicans have the machismo? The machismo's coming in.
12:38 Speaker 03 I'm half the man.
12:39 Bobby Lee? Right. I wanna say, number one, she's probably one of the biggest stars.
12:43 Speaker 02 I'm the adult industry.
12:44 Bobby Lee? I, you, you, to me, you're one of my favorites.
12:46 Speaker 02 Oh, thank you.
12:47 Bobby Lee? Okay, um, and number two, Evelyn Lynn, I used to masturbate to, you know her?
12:52 Speaker 02 No.
12:53 Bobby Lee? She's the Korean Asian chick, is that her name, Evelyn, Evelyn?
12:55 Speaker 00 I have no idea that.
12:56 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, okay, anyway, um.
12:58 Speaker 00 Deep cuts, I don't know.
12:59 Bobby Lee? It's not deep cut, I think she's a, you know, she's a Korean, I think, or whatever. I like Korean girls. Anyway, um, you were nerv-, because I, I, I've seen some, um, videos where it's their first time and they get really nervous. It must be like when I did Arlis. I did a show called Arlis, it's an HBO show, and I had two lines, and I got super nervous.
13:20 Speaker 02 I feel like that kind of performing is way more nerve wracking.
13:25 Bobby Lee? I don't think so.
13:26 Speaker 02 Being, I don't know, I, I feel way more confident doing like a sex scene.
13:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, because you know what to do.
13:33 Speaker 02 No, but even in the beginning, I was like, but also I had such a diff-, like when I was young, I remember like my first scene, I was like talking to the camera, being like, I don't give a fuck.
13:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:42 Speaker 02 So like, I just was like, I didn't care about anything, and but like when you're doing a mainstream acting, you have to care.
13:50 Bobby Lee? No, because you have lines, uh, uh, in your, like, in the, like, if I showed up first day, I would probably ask dumb things like, do I do it now?
13:58 Speaker 02 No, it was like my-
13:59 Bobby Lee? And they go, what do you mean? I go, do I pull it out now? No, no, just ease into it, we're just like, she hasn't even, she's not even here yet. Right, we haven't even set up the cameras.
14:07 Speaker 02 No, but my first scene was kinda like this, where a guy was like, it was like kinda casting couch style, so he was like asking me questions.
14:14 Bobby Lee? What was the program called?
14:16 Speaker 02 It was, uh, I think it was-
14:17 Bobby Lee? Exploded College Girl?
14:18 Speaker 02 Bang, bang, like, my first like one on one scene.
14:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah, was what?
14:23 Speaker 02 Was a Bang Bros scene.
14:25 Bobby Lee? Oh, Bang Bros scene.
14:26 Speaker 02 But then like my first like actual scene, like I was actually an extra the first five scenes that I did.
14:31 Bobby Lee? An extra?
14:32 Speaker 02 For Reality Kings, like in the VIP, so I was one of the girls like dancing in the background.
14:36 Bobby Lee? Ah, Reality Kings, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:40 Speaker 02 The first five times, and then I saw like how legit it was, and then I was like, I wanna do this.
14:45 Bobby Lee? Wow.
14:46 Speaker 02 It's not like sketchy or anything, like there's paperwork and, you know, cut, action.
14:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, sure, sure, there's testing done.
14:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, there's testing and stuff like that.
14:55 Bobby Lee? I talked, I had a date with a, a, a woman who was a porn star. I don't wanna say her name, but she told me she got out of the business because of the testing that they should test the day before, but they don't sometimes.
15:08 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
15:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, they test and then like a week will go by and they'll do like ten scenes.
15:12 Speaker 02 Yeah.
15:13 Bobby Lee? And then you just, it's not.
15:14 Speaker 02 It's still like that.
15:14 Bobby Lee? It's still like that.
15:15 Speaker 02 Yeah.
15:16 Bobby Lee? Are you glad you're out of the business now or no? I mean, you still, you do your.
15:19 Speaker 02 Yeah, I mean, I still do like some girl girl and stuff. I definitely get a little sketchy sometimes.
15:23 Bobby Lee? Right.
15:24 Speaker 02 I'm like, hmm. I like, sometimes if certain girls, I feel kind of more sketchy. I offered to pay for her to get a brand new test. Um, but it's also sometimes hard for them to do that because maybe they already have work scheduled or things scheduled.
15:37 Bobby Lee? Wow.
15:37 Speaker 02 So it can definitely be kind of hard and I've been in like quarantines when I was performing back in the day where there's like an HIV outbreak and stuff.
15:45 Bobby Lee? Oh, wow.
15:46 Speaker 02 It's pretty scary.
15:47 Bobby Lee? It's pretty scary. Yeah.
15:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
15:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, that's nuts, man.
15:49 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's super scary.
15:51 Bobby Lee? So now you just do only, you do an OnlyFans, right?
15:53 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
15:54 Bobby Lee? And then you do, um, it's like a company probably would have to pay you a lot to do that, right?
16:00 Speaker 02 Wait, to what?
16:01 Bobby Lee? Like, like, like you, do you only do OnlyFans or?
16:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, I mean, I did just do a feature.
16:05 Bobby Lee? You did?
16:06 Speaker 02 Um, where I did like a girl girl for Dorcel. I've never shot with Dorcel. And so I kinda was like, this is like my pro bono work for like a company that doesn't have any Riley content. They're gonna make so much money.
16:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
16:19 Speaker 02 Because now they have me.
16:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so they paid you good?
16:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, they paid me good.
16:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah, because you're a big name now.
16:24 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:25 Bobby Lee? Do you wanna segue into other things or no?
16:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, I actually wanna get into comedy.
16:29 Bobby Lee? You do?
16:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:30 Bobby Lee? You stand up?
16:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's my goal.
16:32 Bobby Lee? Really?
16:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, I wanna.
16:34 Bobby Lee? Have you gone up yet?
16:35 Speaker 02 Um, not yet. I haven't had the time to like sit down. Let her go up, let her go up five minutes. I haven't had the time to like create a like, uh, how do you call it?
16:45 Bobby Lee? A set?
16:45 Speaker 02 Yeah. I haven't had the time to like sit down and create a set, so, but that's like my ten year goal is like by the time I'm forty, I wanna try.
16:53 Bobby Lee? No.
16:54 Speaker 02 No, no, no. By the time I'm 40, I want to be like Ali Wong.
16:58 Bobby Lee? Okay, so how, how old are you now?
16:59 Speaker 02 Thirty-three.
17:00 Bobby Lee? You gotta do now?
17:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, I know, that's what I-
17:03 Bobby Lee? You have to go up in the next month.
17:04 Speaker 02 Like-
17:05 Speaker 00 Next week.
17:06 Speaker 02 No, no, no, that's what I mean, like, I'm gonna start practicing and start-
17:09 Bobby Lee? You gotta go up soon, then.
17:10 Speaker 02 I know, I know.
17:11 Bobby Lee? When are you gonna do it?
17:12 Speaker 02 Soon!
17:13 Bobby Lee? Where?
17:14 Speaker 02 Where? Probably at like, one of those like, stand-up improv things.
17:18 Bobby Lee? Obviously, yes! At a show, yeah, yeah.
17:21 Speaker 02 Maybe in like Burbank or something else.
17:24 Bobby Lee? Oh, a flapper.
17:25 Speaker 02 Yeah, something like that.
17:27 Bobby Lee? Flappers or something, yeah, yeah.
17:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:28 Bobby Lee? And so, um, just thinking about it, are you nervous?
17:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm definitely nervous that I, my jokes won't be funny enough.
17:36 Bobby Lee? They're not gonna be.
17:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:37 Bobby Lee? In the beginning. In the beginning, it's hard.
17:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know it'll be hard, but luckily, I have a lot of like porn, like-
17:45 Bobby Lee? They're two different things.
17:46 Speaker 02 No, no, no, like porn stories.
17:48 Bobby Lee? I know.
17:49 Speaker 02 Like, a lot of like, so good material that I'm working with, just from life experience.
17:54 Bobby Lee? Right, but can I-
17:55 Speaker 02 And now, I feel like I'm super relatable, because I'm married and I'm a mother, so it's like-
17:59 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
18:00 Speaker 02 I have certain relatable things that make me, I think, a little bit more tangible-
18:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
18:05 Speaker 02 In my comedy.
18:07 Bobby Lee? So, can I, can I, can I help you right now with some advice?
18:09 Speaker 02 Yeah!
18:10 Speaker 00 The Bobby Lee School of Comedy, he's-
18:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
18:12 Speaker 00 He's a good teacher.
18:14 Bobby Lee? Um, so, what are your fears?
18:17 Speaker 00 There we go.
18:18 Bobby Lee? What are you doing?
18:19 Speaker 00 These are good questions.
18:20 Bobby Lee? What are your fears onstage?
18:22 Speaker 02 Um-
18:23 Bobby Lee? Like, imagine the first time you go up, what do you think's gonna happen? What would be the biggest fear that would happen, the first time you went up?
18:30 Speaker 02 Uh, I, well, I mean, obviously, people not laughing, or just like booing me.
18:34 Bobby Lee? They're not gonna boo.
18:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:36 Bobby Lee? Um-
18:37 Speaker 02 People thinking like, that I should just be a porn star, like, what are you doing?
18:42 Bobby Lee? Maybe, maybe.
18:43 Speaker 02 That's definitely gonna happen.
18:45 Bobby Lee? Unless you don't even mention it.
18:49 Speaker 00 Ooh, good challenge.
18:49 Bobby Lee? But, no.
18:50 Speaker 00 It's a good challenge.
18:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, what I would do if I were you is don't even bring it up.
18:55 Speaker 04 Really? Because I feel like the first thing I would do is show my tattoo, bend over backwards and be like, "Does anyone recognize me?"
19:00 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's your opening joke?
19:02 Speaker 04 Yeah, kind of.
19:03 Bobby Lee? She already has her opening joke.
19:04 Speaker 04 Yeah, and like going and...
19:06 Bobby Lee? Can I, can I give you a little counter of that, right? Maybe not, just hear me out.
19:11 Speaker 04 Wait till the end?
19:12 Bobby Lee? If, no, don't even do it. So what I'm saying is, go up as Riley.
19:16 Speaker 04 Come back and see me soon.
19:20 Bobby Lee? You have your closer too. That's your closer, dude. That's your closer too. Alright, so you're gonna toot, opening close with your asshole. Which is pretty cool.
19:29 Speaker 00 Yeah.
19:29 Bobby Lee? But...
19:30 Speaker 00 Really strong.
19:30 Bobby Lee? Really strong. It will do well, but my point though being is, is that, what?
19:34 Speaker 00 Biting your bits, Bobby.
19:35 Bobby Lee? I know, she's stealing jokes from me, but my point is...
19:37 Speaker 00 Literally what he does.
19:38 Bobby Lee? That's not what I do. Anyway, um, don't do that. Don't do this right now.
19:42 Speaker 03 I'll come, I'll come and see you.
19:43 Bobby Lee? No, shut the fuck up, hi man.
19:45 Speaker 03 Hey, I lied, I, I'm actually a fan of yours. I'm just nervous.
19:49 Bobby Lee? What the fuck are you doing?
19:52 Speaker 03 I just wanna look at her.
19:53 Bobby Lee? Alright, alright, back up dude.
19:55 Speaker 03 I am back.
19:55 Bobby Lee? The first, the first, um, pod we did, you didn't say shit.
19:59 Speaker 03 Why?
20:00 Bobby Lee? And now today you're like, Mr. Fucking... Come on dude.
20:03 Speaker 03 Pretty like.
20:04 Bobby Lee? I, I know, she, don't stop dude. She's more than that.
20:07 Speaker 03 I know, she's a comedian now too.
20:12 Speaker 03 Can I talk to her?
20:12 Bobby Lee? No, you can't.
20:15 Bobby Lee? I will not allow you to, yeah.
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24:03 Bobby Lee? I will not allow you to, yeah. I'll let you know when you can.
24:06 Speaker 03 Okay, hey.
24:07 Bobby Lee? No, not right now.
24:08 Speaker 00 Give him a hand signal so he knows.
24:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I'm gonna go like this, okay?
24:12 Speaker 00 Remember, double, double thumb.
24:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, double, double thumb, okay?
24:16 Speaker 02 I came for him, not you.
24:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah, in your face, dog!
24:24 Speaker 03 It's fine.
24:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's fine. So, um...
24:26 Speaker 03 It's fine.
24:29 Speaker 03 It's cool. I get used to it, it's cool.
24:31 Bobby Lee? Oh, what are you doing now, this fucking pity party thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's cool, dude. You'll get your chance when I do the hand signal.
24:38 Speaker 03 That's okay.
24:38 Bobby Lee? Oh, you're not gonna do it now?
24:40 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, I'll do it, just...
24:44 Speaker 03 Can I listen to her?
24:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
24:47 Speaker 03 Next week, we're gonna have Sarah J.
24:50 Speaker 02 Oh, awesome!
24:53 Speaker 03 Sorry, sorry, writing.
24:55 Bobby Lee? Did I do this?
24:56 Speaker 03 No, I'm just, okay.
24:57 Bobby Lee? Okay, so, um...
24:59 Speaker 03 Your story?
25:00 Bobby Lee? No, I'm not... Shut the fuck up, man. I love you.
25:03 Speaker 03 I know, but...
25:04 Bobby Lee? I know, I got it. Hi.
25:07 Speaker 02 Hi.
25:07 Bobby Lee? Good to see you, sorry about...
25:08 Speaker 02 It's okay.
25:09 Bobby Lee? Sorry about my friend. So, your biggest fears may occur on stage, but the feeling that you're gonna get afterwards isn't gonna be like, all those things happen. The feeling that you're gonna have afterwards is, "I can't believe I just did that." That was amazing.
25:25 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
25:25 Bobby Lee? Because it's so scary.
25:26 Speaker 02 The accomplishment.
25:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's an accomplishment just to go up there. So just know that, you know, by just going up, you'll have that feeling of, I can't believe I did that. You got it out of the way. It really is.
25:36 Speaker 02 I feel like it's gonna be nerve wracking. I feel like I'm gonna be like shaking.
25:39 Bobby Lee? You are.
25:40 Speaker 02 My voice is gonna be like.
25:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
25:42 Speaker 02 I can't talk.
25:42 Bobby Lee? But you should do it soon, though, sooner than later.
25:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
25:45 Bobby Lee? I don't wanna be like five years from now, run into you and you go, I haven't done it yet.
25:49 Speaker 02 Yeah, okay.
25:50 Bobby Lee? Something you should do in the next month.
25:52 Speaker 02 I'm gonna try and start practicing, because you have to write like a five minute. It's the beginning, right?
25:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
25:57 Speaker 02 Two to three, five minute.
25:59 Bobby Lee? And yeah, and the thing that I wanted to say is, if you don't talk about it, I think that'd be cooler.
26:06 Speaker 02 I have so much like.
26:07 Bobby Lee? I know, but I know, but you can do that later, right? I wanna challenge you. And here's what I wanna cha- I wanna cha-
26:14 Speaker 02 But it's like my first.
26:15 Bobby Lee? Riley, Riley, Riley, I know.
26:17 Speaker 02 Tax write off. I could buy a cucumber and write it off.
26:22 Bobby Lee? It's another joke.
26:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's a great, it's great.
26:25 Speaker 02 That's what I mean. It's all porn shit.
26:27 Bobby Lee? Have you stuck a cucumber in your vag?
26:29 Speaker 02 Of course.
26:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
26:30 Speaker 02 And I'm tax write off.
26:32 Bobby Lee? How about your butthole? Cucumber in your butt.
26:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, I just can't eat it. And then it's considered a tax write off.
26:37 Bobby Lee? Right, right, right, okay.
26:40 Bobby Lee? All right, I like that joke, right?
26:41 Speaker 02 That's what I mean. It's all porn.
26:44 Bobby Lee? But it'd be cool if you didn't, and I wanna challenge you.
26:47 Speaker 02 Okay, I could do family stuff.
26:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, do more family stuff in the beginning.
26:52 Speaker 02 Okay.
26:52 Bobby Lee? Don't even, you know what I mean, let people know that you're in porn.
26:55 Speaker 02 Okay.
26:56 Bobby Lee? Right? And then after a year, do it.
26:58 Speaker 00 Oh, that's good.
27:00 Bobby Lee? Right?
27:00 Speaker 02 Okay.
27:01 Bobby Lee? Because I want people, here's, here, comedy.
27:03 Speaker 02 To see me more than just a porn star.
27:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, comics are brutal, right?
27:07 Speaker 02 Oh, like the community?
27:08 Bobby Lee? The community is brutal, and they're like, look at her just doing porn jokes. It's an obvious thing. But if you, you know what I mean, do something unexpected, and approach it like a real comedian, right?
27:22 Speaker 02 Who also make porn jokes.
27:24 Bobby Lee? They do, but they do, but they do other things as well. I think that if you were clean. Okay, hear me out.
27:31 Speaker 02 Should I avoid crowd work?
27:32 Bobby Lee? No, you can do crowd work.
27:33 Speaker 02 Okay.
27:34 Bobby Lee? But be clean, right, and do stuff about your family and upbringing and all that kinda stuff.
27:39 Speaker 02 Oh, okay, like my dad married his stepsister.
27:41 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:42 Speaker 02 And I do porn now.
27:44 Speaker 00 She's now just testing out all her porn.
27:47 Bobby Lee? All right, are the dogs, did you take them out yet? Did you? No, take the dogs out first.
27:54 Speaker 00 Tiger Belly Podcast.
27:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, sorry, sorry. Sorry about that. So the dogs are in panic. I'm in panic.
28:00 Speaker 00 Oh, why?
28:01 Bobby Lee? Because it's like she goes and, you know, she has to do the night nurse stuff. And then, um, I'm left with the dogs, but I sleep early and then I can hear them whimpering. I, I just have this guilt that I'm not, you know, I mean, if they're like, I don't like locking them in a room.
28:16 Speaker 00 Oh.
28:16 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? Do you ever feel that or not? You don't have a dog, do you?
28:19 Speaker 00 I do, but it roams free.
28:21 Bobby Lee? Rome is free?
28:22 Speaker 00 It roams around the house. It roams free around the house.
28:25 Bobby Lee? Oh, Rome's free. Oh, okay. I thought you said Rome is free.
28:29 Speaker 00 Rome is free.
28:30 Bobby Lee? Rome is free. Rome is free. Rome is free. Okay, good. Yeah, um, I think you should do that. Go clean.
28:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, I like that idea.
28:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
28:40 Speaker 02 I'll have to redo all.
28:42 Bobby Lee? You bleach your teeth?
28:43 Speaker 02 No.
28:44 Bobby Lee? They're so nice.
28:44 Speaker 02 Oh, my God, thank you.
28:45 Bobby Lee? You're welcome.
28:46 Speaker 02 I drink a lot of red wine, so I'm surprised.
28:49 Bobby Lee? You live in LA too, right?
28:50 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
28:51 Bobby Lee? Okay, good. Um, how did you meet your husband?
28:53 Speaker 02 Instagram. Modern Loves.
28:56 Bobby Lee? Really? He DM'd?
28:57 Speaker 02 I DM'd him.
28:59 Bobby Lee? Really?
28:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:00 Bobby Lee? And what'd you say?
29:01 Speaker 02 Well, I could tell that I was gonna like him, so I waited. Uh, because he was like, um, he doesn't post like hot boy shit. He posts like funny photos and him like backflipping all the time.
29:15 Bobby Lee? I do that. I'm gonna erase my, can you go to my Instagram and erase my backflipping?
29:20 Speaker 02 But like, no, no, no, because he does backflipping, he doesn't do hot boy content or whatever.
29:24 Bobby Lee? What is he, like a stunt man?
29:25 Speaker 02 Yeah. He's a.
29:27 Bobby Lee? Is he one of those dumb dumbs that like, I'm not calling him a dumb dumb. But I hate those dumb dumbs that like they jump on top of a building or like a little thing. They see.
29:34 Speaker 00 Parkour?
29:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
29:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, he's a parkour athlete.
29:38 Bobby Lee? I hate him.
29:38 Speaker 00 Wait.
29:39 Bobby Lee? What is he doing? What are you, Spider-Man?
29:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:42 Bobby Lee? We're not here. No.
29:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:43 Bobby Lee? What's so cool about that?
29:45 Speaker 02 Uh, I just think I, I just think it's cool because I feel like, I don't know, usually when I tell other dudes about it, the 13-year-old in them comes a lot.
29:54 Bobby Lee? Oh, I come down. You know, oh, they, they, they jump on top of a building. I take the elevator. I'm still up there. Right? I'm sorry, that was dumb.
30:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, I mean, I, I think.
30:04 Bobby Lee? That was dumb what I just said, but you don't understand what I'm saying. Is there, you know, I mean, I don't know what they're doing.
30:08 Speaker 02 But he does stunt work as well. He like has um, an award for doing the Wonder Woman stunt, like work or choreography or something like that, like.
30:18 Bobby Lee? So he was um, dressed as Wonder Woman and he did parkouring?
30:21 Speaker 02 You know, he helped them like do the stunt coordinate.
30:25 Bobby Lee? Oh, he's a stunt coordinator for the movie Wonder Woman.
30:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, he was one of them or something.
30:28 Bobby Lee? Which one, the nineteen eighty one, eighty four?
30:29 Speaker 02 I think the eighty four one, I'm not exactly sure.
30:32 Bobby Lee? Cool, congratulations. Tell him, what's his first name?
30:34 Speaker 02 Pasha.
30:35 Bobby Lee? That's his name?
30:36 Speaker 02 Is, well, his.
30:37 Speaker 03 Damn.
30:38 Speaker 02 His Latvian name is Pavels.
30:40 Bobby Lee? Pav, that?
30:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:41 Bobby Lee? I hate it.
30:42 Speaker 03 No, man, that's cool.
30:43 Bobby Lee? It is? Are you really cool, dude?
30:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:45 Bobby Lee? Hey dude, I'm Pasha.
30:46 Speaker 02 Orin.
30:47 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean?
30:47 Speaker 03 Is he white? Like, like his skin color is white?
30:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:51 Speaker 00 What, what would that else?
30:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, he's from Europe.
30:54 Speaker 03 Yeah?
30:54 Speaker 02 He's like a.
30:55 Bobby Lee? I love him. I love him.
30:56 Speaker 03 I love him already.
30:57 Speaker 02 I'm getting him his citizenship by marrying me.
31:00 Bobby Lee? Really?
31:00 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
31:01 Bobby Lee? Wow, it's love then.
31:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's love.
31:03 Bobby Lee? Do you want another kid with him too?
31:04 Speaker 02 I don't know.
31:05 Bobby Lee? Oh, it's hard.
31:06 Speaker 02 Especially now that I'm fostering these kids. It feels like so much. I'm just like, ugh.
31:12 Bobby Lee? All right, right, right, right. A lot of responsibility.
31:14 Speaker 02 It's a lot. And it's just a lot of chaos all of the time.
31:17 Bobby Lee? Yelling.
31:18 Speaker 02 Not yelling. I don't yell.
31:19 Bobby Lee? What does chaos mean?
31:20 Speaker 02 Chaos is like, one kid's jumping over here and the other kid's over here. And then one kid is like crying.
31:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:26 Speaker 02 He wants a donut or something.
31:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. What, what kind of donut would you get him?
31:30 Speaker 02 Um, pink one with sprinkles.
31:32 Bobby Lee? What kind of, what's your favorite donut place?
31:33 Speaker 02 I think I like the jelly filled donuts.
31:35 Bobby Lee? Oh, you don't care about the brand. You just care about the style.
31:37 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, yeah.
31:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:39 Speaker 02 Oh.
31:40 Bobby Lee? Sidecar was pretty good.
31:41 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm.
31:41 Bobby Lee? You ever go to Sidecar?
31:42 Speaker 02 Uh, I have actually, and Donut Friend.
31:45 Bobby Lee? You like Donut?
31:46 Speaker 02 I've gone to like the fancy ones, but I just like, I prefer to go to fucking Colorado Donuts.
31:50 Bobby Lee? You're like Santino.
31:51 Speaker 02 Pretty easy.
31:51 Bobby Lee? Andrew Santino only likes Dunkin'.
31:54 Speaker 02 Oh.
31:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, which is like basic, but okay. What about ice cream? Which one do you go to?
31:59 Speaker 02 Um, I usually like McCall's. Is it Mc?
32:02 Bobby Lee? McConnell's?
32:03 Speaker 02 Cannell's? McConnell's?
32:04 Speaker 00 McConnell's.
32:04 Speaker 02 Something like that, McConnell's?
32:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
32:06 Speaker 02 But like, when I'm feeling like fancy, there's that one like saffron and rose. That's really delicious. They use rose water.
32:12 Bobby Lee? Why do you itch your face?
32:13 Speaker 02 What?
32:14 Bobby Lee? You itch your face now. Was there an itch?
32:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's because of this little fucking stringy hair right here that's tickling me.
32:19 Bobby Lee? I hate that rogue hair. You wanna pull it out?
32:23 Speaker 02 Go.
32:23 Bobby Lee? No, I'm not gonna pull it out. I'm not gonna pull it out.
32:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:26 Bobby Lee? So you're McConnell's and then you like basic donuts?
32:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I'm not like actually a sugar girl. I prefer.
32:32 Bobby Lee? But this Ukrainian guy's... How did... What's the Ukrainian accent like?
32:37 Speaker 02 Like, kind of similar to Russian, but I think a little softer.
32:41 Bobby Lee? That's him? That's your husband? Is that possible?
32:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's my husband.
32:46 Bobby Lee? Whoa, oh wow, he's real good. Good at what he does.
32:48 Speaker 02 Yeah, he's got a good body.
32:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
32:50 Speaker 02 Nice legs, you can tell. He doesn't have chicken legs.
32:53 Bobby Lee? You don't like chicken legs?
32:54 Speaker 02 No, I hate a guy who's buff with chicken legs. I'm like...
32:57 Bobby Lee? Oh my god, look at him go. Look at him go.
32:59 Speaker 02 Fake fitness.
33:00 Bobby Lee? Oh my god. That's her, that's her, uh, husband.
33:03 Speaker 02 That's my baby daddy.
33:05 Bobby Lee? This is Jules, by the way.
33:06 Speaker 04 Hi, I'm Jules. Nice to meet you.
33:09 Speaker 02 What?
33:10 Bobby Lee? What? What were you?
33:12 Speaker 04 In school.
33:13 Bobby Lee? How was that?
33:14 Speaker 04 Long and boring.
33:16 Speaker 02 What kind of school do you go to?
33:18 Bobby Lee? Thank you, Riley.
33:19 Speaker 04 I go to CSUN. California State Northridge.
33:23 Speaker 02 Oh, nice.
33:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
33:24 Speaker 02 What are you studying?
33:25 Bobby Lee? Thank you, Riley.
33:26 Speaker 02 Oh, wow!
33:27 Bobby Lee? Biology, Riley.
33:28 Speaker 02 Wow, that's pretty fancy.
33:31 Bobby Lee? You know much about bi... You know much about biology?
33:33 Speaker 02 Like, human biology.
33:35 Bobby Lee? I know you do.
33:37 Speaker 04 I heard you said porn earlier.
33:39 Speaker 02 Yes.
33:39 Speaker 04 What do you...
33:43 Bobby Lee? What are we, living in...
33:46 Bobby Lee? 1974? Guys, this is a modern thing. Ask her a question. Yes.
33:51 Speaker 04 What do you do?
33:53 Speaker 02 Well, I used to perform pretty regularly.
33:57 Bobby Lee? She is, I'm telling you, the biggest one.
34:01 Speaker 04 Really?
34:01 Bobby Lee? Out of all the ones we've had on, you know what I mean? On our podcast, she's the biggest one, don't you think?
34:06 Speaker 04 That's...
34:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, she's like a huge star. Like, she's bigger than Asa Akira. I don't think Asa would be mad if I said that.
34:12 Speaker 02 I don't know, she might be.
34:13 Bobby Lee? You like Asa?
34:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, I love Asa. She's wonderful.
34:17 Bobby Lee? But I think you're one of the biggest ones in the, in the business.
34:20 Speaker 02 Yeah, I've definitely gotten super popular. I don't know how or why.
34:23 Bobby Lee? You're like the Scarlett Johansson of that.
34:24 Speaker 02 I say it's because I like smile in my porn. And I think I make a lot of people laugh sometimes. Or maybe because I'm relatable looking.
34:32 Bobby Lee? Not only that, can I say something?
34:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, tell me. Why am I famous?
34:35 Bobby Lee? You've also done scenes with guys that weren't even that good-looking.
34:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I mean, so the, because the guy, like, I have a poor self-image for myself. So when I watch your videos, like, oh, she doesn't care.
34:48 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
34:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I mean, so I would rather, you know, because you, sometimes when you see a porn actress do, which is only really hot guys, it, I don't, it's not relatable to me.
34:57 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
34:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah. You seem like you're, um, very liberal.
35:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:01 Bobby Lee? Open.
35:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:03 Speaker 02 Okay, that's cool.
35:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, and nice. You seem nice.
35:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's what I think it's, that I seem really nice in my videos.
35:09 Bobby Lee? And you are nice.
35:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:11 Speaker 02 Pretty nice person.
35:11 Bobby Lee? And you're probably nice to work with.
35:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
35:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:14 Bobby Lee? Um, does it, what, I mean, is it ever get weird though, or no?
35:19 Speaker 02 There's definitely moments that were weird. Yeah, there was definitely, like, some weird moments, some, like, some guys being kind of aggressive at times.
35:27 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:28 Speaker 02 One guy, like, having wood problems, so he, like, was like-
35:33 Bobby Lee? Was he a carpenter? What's going on?
35:34 Speaker 02 I don't know, but he liked the next girl in the makeup chair, so he was like-
35:38 Bobby Lee? Oh, hard on, hard on.
35:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah.
35:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I thought it was like a, I mean, like, I can't get this cabinet to work.
35:42 Speaker 02 Oh, like, cap- carpentry?
35:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
35:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, but I remember, like, there was a girl in a makeup chair-
35:48 Bobby Lee? Keep it, keep it, keep it.
35:49 Speaker 02 So he made the other girl stand in the corner of the room while he was banging me, so he was, like, looking at her.
35:55 Bobby Lee? Oh, wow.
35:55 Speaker 02 Because I couldn't turn him on, or something. I think he just had, like, degrading things.
35:59 Bobby Lee? Whoa.
36:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:01 Speaker 03 Have you ever done scenes, like, with food?
36:03 Bobby Lee? Hey, dude, what-
36:04 Speaker 02 I have.
36:05 Speaker 03 Yeah?
36:05 Bobby Lee? Dude.
36:06 Speaker 03 What?
36:07 Bobby Lee? I didn't do that.
36:08 Speaker 03 Oh, but she was talking about a scene, so I'm like-
36:10 Bobby Lee? Oh, you're chipping, so you've done a scene with food?
36:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:13 Bobby Lee? Can I guess?
36:14 Speaker 02 Sure.
36:15 Bobby Lee? Hot dog?
36:17 Speaker 00 Cucumber?
36:18 Bobby Lee? Cucumber? Like, what foods?
36:19 Speaker 00 Plantains?
36:20 Speaker 02 Not plantains. I did one with, like, feet where we were, like, squishing stuff.
36:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
36:25 Speaker 02 And then we put our feet in a girl's butt.
36:29 Bobby Lee? Ooh.
36:30 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's what I want.
36:32 Bobby Lee? Ooh.
36:32 Speaker 02 It was for kink.com.
36:34 Bobby Lee? Oh, kink.com?
36:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:35 Bobby Lee? Ooh.
36:36 Speaker 00 Yeah.
36:36 Bobby Lee? Write that down, kink.com.
36:38 Speaker 00 Dot.
36:38 Bobby Lee? I like it a lot. How about, like, a mashed potato? I'd jam a mashed potato in my butthole, but I'd have to cool it down first, not right out of the microwave.
36:47 Speaker 02 Like, a whole potato, or a mashed-
36:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I would jam a whole mashed potato in my butthole. Baked potato, I mean.
36:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, there we go.
36:55 Bobby Lee? Did I say mashed potato?
36:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:58 Bobby Lee? Oh, what did I say?
36:59 Speaker 02 Face it in.
37:00 Bobby Lee? What?
37:01 Speaker 00 A spoonful of mashed potato.
37:03 Bobby Lee? Baked potato, not mashed potato. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I mean, I mean, it depends on how much mashed, but anyway, um, what else would I do? Um.
37:11 Speaker 00 Chocolate?
37:12 Speaker 02 Would you do like a macaroni cheese bowl?
37:15 Bobby Lee? Or do you like have sex with a macaroni cheese bowl? I need friction. I don't think it has enough friction. But I would.
37:21 Speaker 02 Don't cook the noodles all the way.
37:22 Speaker 00 Al dente.
37:23 Bobby Lee? Al dente. I see. If it's like, you know, um, natural noodles, like homemade noodles, I would do it.
37:29 Speaker 02 Oh, okay.
37:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, cuz I, you know, I like, you know, I mean, real good pasta, you know? But, um, I've had, I've had sex with steak before.
37:36 Speaker 02 Oh.
37:37 Bobby Lee? Like a prime rib.
37:38 Speaker 00 That's for real?
37:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah. What?
37:39 Speaker 00 When?
37:40 Bobby Lee? When I was younger.
37:41 Speaker 00 Wait, what's that story? I don't think I've heard this.
37:43 Bobby Lee? My dad got so mad.
37:45 Speaker 00 What? How are you doing it now?
37:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we couldn't eat it. We couldn't eat it.
37:49 Speaker 00 Wait, what was when you're on?
37:50 Bobby Lee? I thawed it out late at night, right? Then I stuck my penis in it.
37:54 Speaker 02 While it was cold?
37:55 Bobby Lee? It might go a little bit.
37:56 Speaker 02 Oh, okay.
37:57 Speaker 00 Was it rebellious towards your father?
37:58 Bobby Lee? No, I thought that I could refreeze it, but then there was like a gigantic hole in it the next day. Yeah, I mean, he go, what this? Right? I go, I don't know. He go, I know. I guess he knew.
38:09 Speaker 00 The shape of the hole?
38:10 Speaker 02 Cuz he's tried it before?
38:11 Bobby Lee? Maybe. Yeah, there was two holes in it.
38:15 Bobby Lee? I know, Bubby. Yeah, I know, Bubby. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I think I've had sex with the earth. I've already said that.
38:21 Speaker 00 Yeah.
38:22 Bobby Lee? I've had sex with the earth.
38:23 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
38:24 Bobby Lee? They get closer to God. And, um.
38:26 Speaker 02 What about fleshlights? Do you use?
38:28 Speaker 04 He has a lot.
38:29 Bobby Lee? No, I don't have a lot of fleshlights. I don't have a flashlight. I have different brands.
38:32 Speaker 02 Well, you don't have this one.
38:35 Bobby Lee? Oh, is it yours?
38:37 Speaker 02 It just released. It's my mouth.
38:39 Bobby Lee? It's your mouth? It's really your mouth?
38:41 Speaker 02 It's really my mouth and she doesn't talk back.
38:43 Bobby Lee? Okay, can I see?
38:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
38:45 Bobby Lee? Can I open it?
38:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
38:46 Bobby Lee? Is this mine?
38:47 Speaker 02 Yes, that's yours.
38:47 Bobby Lee? I'm not gonna fucking use it. Ever, that's crazy.
38:51 Speaker 00 You see Bobby trying to do stand up with the mouth? Doing your set for you?
38:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah. No, you don't get one.
38:57 Speaker 00 Oh, man.
38:58 Bobby Lee? So this is your mouth?
38:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, this is my mouth.
39:00 Bobby Lee? Let me compare. That is your mouth. Holy shit.
39:04 Speaker 00 I want it.
39:04 Speaker 03 Can I see?
39:05 Bobby Lee? What? Wow.
39:07 Speaker 04 That's sexy.
39:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, as a girl, you don't think it looks scary?
39:14 Speaker 04 No, eh. I don't think so.
39:17 Speaker 00 You could get Bobby connected with that company so he can make his own?
39:21 Bobby Lee? Yeah, my mouth.
39:22 Speaker 02 Oh.
39:23 Bobby Lee? You know what I would do with my mouth? Like, when they put the molding, I'd go, "Real tight." Right?
39:29 Speaker 00 Just your whole face?
39:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, just want it really tight. Because there's a lot of friction here, do you think? Or is there?
39:35 Speaker 02 I mean, it just came out. I actually haven't gotten to test it out or anything.
39:39 Bobby Lee? I want your husband to test it out.
39:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, we just got them today, like.
39:43 Bobby Lee? And that's mine. I can have it.
39:44 Speaker 02 Yes, that one's yours.
39:45 Bobby Lee? Oh, that's so nice.
39:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:47 Bobby Lee? Well, that's good. Where's the cover at?
39:48 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't know. You're getting it all dirty.
39:51 Speaker 00 Put it under the table, just for YouTube's sake.
39:53 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, you can see my teeth on the inside.
39:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I don't know where the cover is, but, um... Well, have you done one of your vagina too?
39:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, I have my butt and my pussy.
40:01 Bobby Lee? And the butt too?
40:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
40:02 Bobby Lee? How was that molding work, your butt?
40:04 Speaker 02 Well, now they do like just a 3D scan with pictures. But previously, it was like how you go to the dentist's office. So there was like plaster molding on my...
40:14 Bobby Lee? So they... No one would know the difference unless they've had sex with you.
40:18 Speaker 02 What do you...
40:18 Bobby Lee? I mean, it could be a molding of his butthole. And they're like, "This is Riley Reid's butthole."
40:23 Speaker 02 There's so many pictures of my butt on the internet. You would know.
40:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but I'm not gonna zoom into the thing and go, "Oh, this is accurate."
40:30 Speaker 02 Some people do.
40:30 Bobby Lee? Really?
40:31 Speaker 02 Of course.
40:32 Bobby Lee? Oh. Like, if you had a fleshlight of my butthole, would you think that it was mine? If I said it was somebody else's?
40:39 Speaker 00 Answer in Jaime. No.
40:41 Bobby Lee? Exactly. And you would do it with pleasure?
40:43 Speaker 00 No, I wouldn't like it.
40:46 Bobby Lee? Wait, wait.
40:47 Speaker 00 Cause it's you.
40:48 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but if you don't know, though.
40:50 Speaker 02 Like you give him a flashlight.
40:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I go, this is O'Reilly's butthole.
40:52 Speaker 00 I think it's hers.
40:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you think it's hers, but it's mine, really.
40:55 Speaker 00 No, cause I'll zoom in anyway.
40:57 Speaker 02 But how would you know it was his?
40:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, exactly.
40:59 Speaker 02 Have you, do you have pictures of his butthole?
41:01 Speaker 04 I feel like Tito Bobby's butthole is like...
41:05 Speaker 02 I think it's really tight.
41:07 Bobby Lee? It's like what?
41:08 Speaker 02 Like maybe uglier than yours.
41:12 Speaker 00 She had to pause for that. She had to pause.
41:16 Bobby Lee? It's insane that you would say that because I've been so kind to you.
41:20 Speaker 02 I know.
41:21 Bobby Lee? As a father figure, right? And you would say something like that out loud. That's insane.
41:25 Speaker 02 I know.
41:25 Bobby Lee? My butthole's very nice. And by the way, didn't we have somebody?
41:28 Speaker 02 Prove it, prove it.
41:29 Bobby Lee? No, no, no. Who was, who was, who was here?
41:33 Speaker 00 Angela, right? Yeah, Angela.
41:35 Bobby Lee? Angela what?
41:36 Speaker 02 Angela White?
41:37 Speaker 00 Angela White, yeah.
41:38 Bobby Lee? Angela White? Yeah, opened my own butthole.
41:41 Speaker 02 She looked at your butthole?
41:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and she goes, "That's a great butthole." So I'm gonna say, Jaime, that I believe that you would. And then you know what? I'm gonna do this. You're gonna use it and a year later, I'm gonna go, "That was my butthole."
41:53 Speaker 00 I'm gonna use it?
41:54 Bobby Lee? No, not that. That's not my mouth.
41:55 Speaker 00 You'll get a random flashlight in the mail.
41:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll get a random one, okay?
41:59 Speaker 02 I'll hand deliver it so then he thinks it's mine.
42:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Would you set me up with a help me, help me get my own flashlight?
42:05 Speaker 02 If you really wanted a flashlight, I could definitely put you in contact.
42:07 Bobby Lee? Of my butthole? That'd be funny.
42:11 Speaker 02 Do you mind if people have videos on Pornhub of them banging your butt?
42:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah. That'd be so funny. That'd be so funny.
42:18 Speaker 02 Okay, cool.
42:19 Bobby Lee? Don't you think it'd be funny? It won't sell, I don't think.
42:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think it's hot.
42:22 Speaker 00 I think it would sell.
42:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:23 Bobby Lee? You think it would?
42:23 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think it would sell.
42:25 Speaker 00 Like, yeah.
42:26 Bobby Lee? Okay. What, do they do that with penises too, or no?
42:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:30 Bobby Lee? There's like, okay.
42:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, they have male, like, flesh boys.
42:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah. I would get, like, Chappelle Lacey's dick.
42:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and Brandon Bobbly. Yeah, I don't know if I think I would do that. So, but do you have interest of doing acting too? Like?
42:45 Speaker 02 Not really, unless I'm like playing myself. I don't really think I'm an actress. I don't really like, I feel like I can thrive better.
42:53 Bobby Lee? You haven't tried, though?
42:54 Speaker 02 No, I haven't. But I just feel like I gravitate more towards comedy. Or like my other goal is to have a cartoon. Like, I really wanna have a cartoon.
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44:23 Speaker 02 My goal is to have a cartoon. Like, I really want to have a cartoon.
44:26 Bobby Lee? Okay, so here's what we're gonna do right now. I'm gonna give you a line. It's a serious line. It's a sci-fi movie. I'm just gonna make it up, right? So can you memorize the line real quick?
44:35 Speaker 02 I think so.
44:36 Bobby Lee? All right. The Romul- Romul- okay, the Romulans, all right, have attacked the Klingons, and we have to use hyperdrive. You're the captain. And I'm gonna come up to you and I go, "What do we do?" And then you're gonna say, "The Romulans attacked the Klingons. We have to use hyperdrive." But this is serious.
44:55 Speaker 02 Okay.
44:56 Bobby Lee? Right?
45:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe too much? I don't think you would look in the sky.
45:06 Speaker 02 It's not like, you're not looking in like the big.
45:09 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you're right.
45:12 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:13 Bobby Lee? That was a good acting choice. You're the captain. That was a good acting choice. You're right, my bad. All right, let's do it again, right?
45:20 Bobby Lee? What do we do, Captain?
45:21 Speaker 02 The Klingons have attacked the Romlioid. We have to go and use hyperspeed. Something like that.
45:28 Bobby Lee? It was so close.
45:30 Speaker 02 I'm a lot better at reading it.
45:32 Bobby Lee? I think you got it. You're very close, okay? The Romulans.
45:36 Speaker 02 The Romulans have attacked Klingon. We have to use hyperspeed.
45:39 Bobby Lee? Hyperdrive.
45:40 Speaker 02 Hyperdrive.
45:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Alright?
45:42 Speaker 02 The Klingons have attacked... The Romlions have attacked Klingon. We have to use hyperdrive.
45:47 Bobby Lee? We can call them Romulans.
45:48 Speaker 02 I don't know what the fuck they're called. I didn't watch Star Trek.
45:51 Bobby Lee? You don't know anything about Star Trek? You know, yeah, that's good. Now, what race of people do that in the show?
45:57 Speaker 02 I know his name is Spock.
45:58 Bobby Lee? Yes, what race is he?
46:00 Speaker 02 I don't know. Romlian?
46:02 Bobby Lee? What? No, what race is he?
46:04 Speaker 02 Klingon.
46:05 Bobby Lee? No, what is Spock?
46:07 Speaker 00 I don't know.
46:08 Bobby Lee? What is Spock?
46:10 Speaker 00 V, V. The letter V.
46:12 Bobby Lee? The letter V.
46:15 Bobby Lee? V U. V U L.
46:19 Speaker 00 A B O?
46:20 Bobby Lee? V U L C.
46:22 Speaker 02 Vulcan?
46:22 Bobby Lee? Yes.
46:23 Speaker 00 Hey!
46:24 Bobby Lee? You said Vulcan?
46:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, Vulcan.
46:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys couldn't get Vulcan?
46:27 Speaker 00 No.
46:28 Speaker 02 I think I only know this from The Big Bang Theory.
46:32 Bobby Lee? Really?
46:34 Bobby Lee? God bless Simon Helberg. Anyway, um... You know who Simon Helberg is?
46:38 Speaker 02 No.
46:38 Bobby Lee? He's in The Big Bang Theory.
46:39 Speaker 02 Okay.
46:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
46:40 Speaker 02 Which one?
46:41 Bobby Lee? He's like the skinny, looks like Seinfeld.
46:43 Speaker 02 Oh, the one that they say looks like Spock?
46:45 Bobby Lee? That's Simon.
46:47 Speaker 02 Oh, he's the Wolowitz guy?
46:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Can I tell you a funny story about Simon? Um, he was on Mad TV.
46:55 Speaker 02 Oh.
46:56 Bobby Lee? And he was, he got six episodes. And I remember when they let him go, he was so upset. He's like... You know what I mean? I can't fucking believe. He was very upset. And I was like, you're gonna work again. Then he gets that, and what was he making? What, a million dollars an episode?
47:12 Speaker 02 Wow!
47:14 Bobby Lee? I made...
47:15 Speaker 02 Baller.
47:16 Bobby Lee? Four thousand dollars an episode. That's what we make on Mad TV.
47:20 Speaker 00 Damn.
47:20 Bobby Lee? He got to a million dollars an episode.
47:22 Speaker 02 Whoa!
47:23 Bobby Lee? He's in a completely... But you know, I ran into him on Larchmont. Is that us?
47:27 Speaker 00 That's you and Simon on Mad TV.
47:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. That's me and Simon.
47:33 Speaker 00 You wearing a durag?
47:35 Bobby Lee? I don't know. But, um, and I ran into him on Larchmont. He's just the nicest same guy, you know?
47:40 Speaker 02 Oh, that's so good.
47:42 Bobby Lee? Because when you're young like that, um, you know, you get, you think all these things are gonna happen and it happened for him. I have this podcast, it's fine. I have you on my podcast, that's good. It's huge for me.
47:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, I actually think, I would consider you more famous than him.
47:59 Bobby Lee? Okay, anyway, thank you so much. Simon, she's wrong. You're the best, please do my podcast. Anyway, my point, yeah. So you guys, you don't know nothing, do you guys know anything about sci-fi in general? Like Star Wars?
48:10 Speaker 02 I know a little bit about Star Wars.
48:12 Bobby Lee? Okay, I'm gonna ask Jules a question, okay? What? You know, Han Solo's best friend, his partner in crime, who is he? I know you know. No, now you don't get to guess.
48:22 Speaker 00 Should this be a competition?
48:23 Bobby Lee? You wanna do a competition?
48:24 Speaker 00 Yeah.
48:24 Bobby Lee? All right.
48:25 Speaker 02 Okay, can you just give a clue?
48:29 Speaker 00 That was close.
48:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that was really good. That was really good. Dude, that's a really, that's maybe what a female Wookiee would sound like.
48:38 Bobby Lee? Like an aggressive queef.
48:39 Speaker 00 Yeah.
48:40 Bobby Lee? Do you queef a lot or no?
48:43 Speaker 02 Depends on the position.
48:44 Bobby Lee? Okay, okay. I love him. Yeah, I mean, those are magical farts. Queef, that's what I call them. Aren't they magical?
48:50 Speaker 00 Magical farts, yeah.
48:51 Bobby Lee? It's like fairy, fairy farts.
48:53 Speaker 00 It makes you feel good as a guy.
48:54 Bobby Lee? It really does.
48:55 Speaker 02 Does it really?
48:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
48:56 Speaker 02 It makes you feel so insecure as a girl.
48:58 Bobby Lee? Really?
48:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
48:59 Bobby Lee? Yeah, well, you haven't seen my farts. My farts are fucking embarrassing. Would you rather have, anyway, let's move on. Yeah, I wanna talk, so, um, so let's, you, you know, what's the answer?
49:10 Speaker 02 Chewbacca.
49:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, exactly.
49:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:12 Speaker 00 One point, Riley.
49:13 Bobby Lee? One point to Riley. You wanna play?
49:15 Speaker 03 I thought I was playing.
49:17 Bobby Lee? Dude, your attitude today, dude?
49:19 Speaker 03 I'm ready.
49:20 Speaker 02 Is he crying?
49:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Alright, so here we go.
49:25 Speaker 02 You not masturbate today, is that the problem?
49:27 Speaker 00 Yeah.
49:28 Bobby Lee? Okay, ready, one, okay, here we go. Who was Luke Skywalker's father?
49:32 Speaker 02 Darth Vader.
49:33 Bobby Lee? Yes.
49:34 Speaker 00 Anakin.
49:35 Speaker 02 Oh.
49:35 Bobby Lee? No, but that's, that's just still one. Okay, you don't know?
49:39 Speaker 02 I knew.
49:40 Bobby Lee? Alright.
49:40 Speaker 00 Okay, after all the answers.
49:43 Bobby Lee? Okay, um, should I go deep cut, um?
49:46 Speaker 00 Give him a couple of softballs first.
49:47 Bobby Lee? Some softballs?
49:48 Speaker 00 Yeah. Okay. Just say the answer, whoever says it first.
49:50 Bobby Lee? What character lived, lived in the Dagobah system?
49:55 Speaker 00 Jar Jar.
49:56 Bobby Lee? No.
49:57 Speaker 02 I don't even know that.
49:58 Bobby Lee? Okay, he is wise.
50:00 Speaker 02 Oh, Yoda?
50:01 Bobby Lee? Yes.
50:01 Speaker 00 There we go.
50:02 Bobby Lee? Very good. That, that's not even, that was, how, what's a planet called, made out of ice?
50:11 Speaker 02 Not that deep.
50:12 Bobby Lee? Really? Hoth.
50:13 Speaker 02 Oh.
50:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah. You've never seen any Star Wars movies, Jules? That's crazy.
50:18 Speaker 00 Do general sci-fi, go across all different movies and stuff.
50:21 Bobby Lee? Really?
50:21 Speaker 00 Yeah. See what they...
50:22 Speaker 02 General sci-fi.
50:22 Bobby Lee? What's general sci-fi?
50:24 Speaker 00 Like say something about aliens, say something about another movie, E.T.
50:27 Bobby Lee? What? Okay, um, okay. Now you gotta put pressure on.
50:33 Speaker 00 Hey, let's see how much you know about it.
50:35 Bobby Lee? You ask me one, off the top of your head, go ahead.
50:38 Speaker 00 Okay.
50:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
50:39 Speaker 00 Um, what was the language spoken in the film Arrival?
50:45 Bobby Lee? Oh, shit.
50:46 Speaker 00 Okay, what is the?
50:47 Bobby Lee? That's insane. That, no, that question's so not fair, dude. That's so insane.
50:52 Speaker 00 Chinese. Correct.
50:54 Bobby Lee? It's not Chinese.
50:55 Speaker 00 It's not.
50:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
50:57 Speaker 00 It's a hectapod.
50:57 Bobby Lee? Hectapod language, that's not, I don't know what they call it. That was bullshit, dude. That was a bullshit question, dude.
51:02 Speaker 00 Why are you getting self-conscious?
51:03 Bobby Lee? I'm not getting self-conscious, what I'm saying is, is that I feel like I'm, you know, very educated with sci-fi, and that was a crazy one.
51:09 Speaker 00 Name three Ridley Scott films.
51:12 Bobby Lee? Ridley Scott films.
51:13 Speaker 00 Ridley Scott.
51:14 Bobby Lee? Gladiator.
51:15 Speaker 00 Great.
51:15 Bobby Lee? Gladiator 2.
51:17 Speaker 00 Alien.
51:18 Bobby Lee? Right?
51:18 Speaker 00 Yeah.
51:19 Bobby Lee? Alien.
51:20 Speaker 00 Good.
51:20 Bobby Lee? Okay. In your face. In your fucking stupid flat face. You Filipino bastard, dude. I'm tired of this shit. So, um, okay, so, um, what's the alien that wants to go home?
51:33 Speaker 02 Oh, I mean, they said all E.T.
51:35 Speaker 00 That's a har, that's a real softball.
51:37 Bobby Lee? It was so softball, yeah, yeah. Um...
51:41 Bobby Lee? Okay, what's the, this is a good, this is a, this is a deep cut, okay? In the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind, what is the song? The first four notes, five notes. It's famous.
51:56 Speaker 02 I don't know if I've seen.
51:57 Bobby Lee? Na na na na na, right? Na na na na na. Everyone. Na na na na na.
52:11 Speaker 02 Reminding me of like X-Files or something.
52:14 Bobby Lee? You're not doing it.
52:14 Speaker 02 Da na na na.
52:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Do you know, you've never seen that movie?
52:21 Speaker 02 I don't think.
52:21 Bobby Lee? Do you know who directed it? Steven Spielberg. It's so underrated. You'll love this movie. It's one of the best sci-fi, don't you agree? It's a masterpiece. Okay? Let me see if I remember. Okay. So, yeah, there it is. That's, okay. So, um, Alien.
52:39 Speaker 02 What about Mars Attacks? That's a good movie.
52:40 Speaker 03 Oh yeah, that's a good one.
52:41 Bobby Lee? Why did you switch gears there?
52:42 Speaker 02 Cause I was reminded of Mars Attacks.
52:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that was more of a broad comedy, wacky kind of a movie. Yeah, it's not a serious sci-fi movie.
52:50 Speaker 02 No.
52:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
52:51 Speaker 03 Hey, what about Mac and Me?
52:53 Bobby Lee? Do you, I know that one. You know Mac and Me?
52:55 Speaker 03 Yeah.
52:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, what is it? It's an E.T., it's an E.T. spinoff.
52:59 Speaker 03 It is?
53:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
53:00 Speaker 03 Is that a ripoff?
53:01 Bobby Lee? It's a ripoff. Look, that, that's not a ripoff.
53:03 Speaker 02 Oh.
53:06 Speaker 03 Hey, that's not a ripoff?
53:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
53:09 Speaker 03 That's not a ripoff?
53:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. It's one of the worst movies ever made.
53:14 Speaker 03 Yeah?
53:14 Bobby Lee? How did you see that movie? I can't even find that movie.
53:17 Speaker 03 I saw it on YouTube.
53:18 Speaker 00 Oh, he watches clips only. I forgot.
53:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Do you prefer sci-fi or adventure movie? Like, what do you like?
53:24 Speaker 02 I like horror movies, actually.
53:25 Bobby Lee? Me too, and this is gonna go a long way with you and I. You wanna go a long way with me as friendships?
53:30 Speaker 02 Let's go.
53:31 Bobby Lee? All right. What's your favorite top three horror movies?
53:34 Speaker 02 Of horror movies?
53:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's gonna go a long way with me, Riley.
53:37 Speaker 02 Okay, well, I mean, like, classic-wise, I love The Rosemary's Baby. I think that that's really good. I thought it was really cool. I like how she, like, accepted the baby at the end, which I wasn't expecting that.
53:48 Bobby Lee? Spoiler alert.
53:50 Speaker 03 Yeah, spoiler. You haven't seen it yet.
53:53 Speaker 02 Um, like a recent one?
53:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, a recent one.
53:57 Speaker 02 Um, I guess like it's more of like a psychological thriller type. I really liked the, uh, Don't Worry Darling. I was not expecting it to be like what it is.
54:05 Bobby Lee? Don't tell me what it is. Don't Worry Darling?
54:08 Speaker 02 Is it? Yeah, yeah, the one with Harry Styles. Is it Don't Worry Darling or something like that?
54:12 Bobby Lee? Is it good? Is it good?
54:13 Speaker 02 I actually really liked it. I thought it was a pretty good.
54:16 Bobby Lee? That doesn't look like a horror movie.
54:17 Speaker 02 I know. I didn't know it was a horror movie.
54:19 Bobby Lee? That's a horror movie right there.
54:19 Speaker 02 It's like a psychological thriller.
54:21 Bobby Lee? No, no, no psychological thrillers.
54:23 Speaker 02 Why?
54:24 Bobby Lee? Cause I, cause it's, we're doing horror.
54:26 Speaker 02 I mean, that's kind of a horror. It gave me a lot of suspense. I was like, oh my god.
54:29 Bobby Lee? Oh, you did that?
54:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
54:31 Bobby Lee? I'll watch it then. You see it?
54:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
54:33 Bobby Lee? Okay.
54:34 Speaker 02 It's good, right? Good.
54:35 Bobby Lee? Horror?
54:35 Speaker 02 You don't expect it to be what it is.
54:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah? You, you did this?
54:39 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
54:39 Bobby Lee? Okay.
54:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, you're just like really.
54:41 Bobby Lee? Give me another modern one.
54:42 Speaker 02 It's a twist that you don't expect. Another modern horror movie that I've seen.
54:47 Bobby Lee? Cause right now, we're far away from each other.
54:49 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
54:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we're distant.
54:51 Speaker 02 Okay.
54:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
54:51 Speaker 02 What kind of like horror?
54:52 Bobby Lee? Well, you need to name a movie that I'm gonna be like that's. No, no, no, no, not a slasher movie.
54:57 Speaker 02 Okay.
54:57 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
54:58 Speaker 03 Name Midsummer.
55:00 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, that one was good. That's the same actress in that one.
55:03 Speaker 03 Oh, the main one?
55:03 Speaker 02 But that's also kind of like a psychological thriller.
55:06 Bobby Lee? Mm-hmm. Okay, so I.
55:09 Speaker 02 Kind of like.
55:09 Bobby Lee? Hereditary.
55:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, that one was good. I didn't love it, though.
55:14 Speaker 00 That's his movie.
55:16 Bobby Lee? Ah, that hurts.
55:17 Speaker 02 I thought it was really good. Oh, what about the Babadook? That was a good one.
55:21 Bobby Lee? You're a fucking Babadook, man.
55:24 Bobby Lee? I've always thought you were a fucking Babadook, man. Now, Babadook was good.
55:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, I liked that one.
55:28 Bobby Lee? So I, I've been watching a lot of Korean movies.
55:31 Speaker 02 Oh, the Parasite movie was good. Did you see that one?
55:34 Bobby Lee? Oh, you wanna go Korean?
55:35 Speaker 02 I don't know if that's Korean.
55:36 Bobby Lee? It is Korean, my friend. Was it good?
55:38 Speaker 02 I, yeah, that one was really good.
55:40 Bobby Lee? Then it's Korean.
55:41 Speaker 00 If it's not, it's Japanese.
55:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, it's not Filipino, I'll tell you that.
55:47 Bobby Lee? No, you have good movies. Give me a good horror Filipino movie. And don't say something from your life.
55:57 Speaker 02 Che Gato and Roy is nice.
55:59 Bobby Lee? Yeah, Che Gato and Roy.
56:02 Speaker 00 What was it? Che Gato and Roy?
56:04 Bobby Lee? And Roy, yeah, they're two, I can tell you what the movie, they're two farmers. Che Gato and Roy, right? And Roy's like, "What's up dude?" And Che Gato's like, "I don't speak, no, you don't know you bang, bang, bang."
56:17 Bobby Lee? He started speaking English, but he drifts off. What a great movie. But anyway, um, so I saw a movie called Sleep.
56:29 Bobby Lee? It's a Korean movie.
56:30 Speaker 02 Okay.
56:31 Bobby Lee? And I'll tell you what the most upsetting thing about the movie was. There we go. So that's the movie, and it is so good. And the guy's just sleeping the whole time, and she's just staring at him sleeping.
56:45 Bobby Lee? No, I'm kidding, no, um. I'll just say the opening, the opening couple of scenes is this. He's an actor, they're in love, she's pregnant. They're a cute couple. You know what I mean? Just modest living in an apartment, right? And they're just like, you know, pick each other up from work, eat dinner together, just nice. But then one night, he sleeps, and while he's sleeping, he's scratching his face. And she kind of grabs his arms, you know, while he's sleeping, goes, "Don't do that." But then when she wakes up, there's a gigantic hole in his face. And he had scratched a hole inside his face. Right, so they go to the hospital. And then another night, he walks and goes to the refrigerator and eats raw meat
57:29 Bobby Lee? and like sardines from the refrigerator. So they see a sleep specialist, and they think it's like, um, sleepwalking, whatever. But it turns out not to be that. But the movie was great, but afterwards, I was like, "I want to know about this movie." So I Googled the actor, and that actor killed himself.
57:48 Speaker 00 Oh, the guy in Real Life.
57:49 Bobby Lee? You know why? Cause he smoked weed.
57:52 Speaker 00 In Korea.
57:53 Bobby Lee? In Korea. It made me so mad.
57:56 Speaker 02 Wait, because he smoked weed in Korea, he killed himself?
57:58 Speaker 00 Is it illegal, is that?
57:59 Bobby Lee? It's illegal in Korea and um.
58:01 Speaker 02 Like he was ashamed?
58:02 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
58:03 Speaker 00 Shame, ashamed.
58:04 Bobby Lee? And it's, he was gonna get in big trouble, like, you know what I mean? Maybe some, some sort of sentence.
58:09 Speaker 02 Oh.
58:09 Bobby Lee? But they're doing an investigating, and that's how bullshit conservative Koreans are.
58:14 Speaker 02 That's so sad.
58:15 Bobby Lee? That, you gotta change that shit, man. That's, because that kid, that guy was so good in this movie. And I'm like, oh, this guy's a star, I was literally thinking that. And then when I found out that he killed himself, I was like, why, because of weed? I would've died at an eight.
58:31 Bobby Lee? I smoked, I smoked weed at ten, whatever, you know what I mean? Are you out of your fucking mind?
58:35 Speaker 02 That's sad.
58:35 Bobby Lee? Anyway, it's sad, but we should watch it.
58:38 Speaker 02 Yeah.
58:38 Bobby Lee? Sleep.
58:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, that sounds good.
58:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
58:40 Speaker 02 I was trying to think of like, there's this other movie that I had watched that was really good, I can't remember. But.
58:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
58:46 Speaker 00 Describe it, what was it about?
58:48 Speaker 02 I totally blanked, because your story was so crazy. It absorbed everything in my brain.
58:54 Bobby Lee? Let's do, uh, what about me, a movie, a horror movie with me and Riley, what would it be? Sort of like, like Freaky Saturday.
59:01 Speaker 00 Jules, you make the title and we'll make the movie.
59:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
59:03 Speaker 00 What's the title?
59:05 Speaker 02 Um. Teddy.
59:09 Bobby Lee? That's it, that's good.
59:10 Speaker 02 Teddy.
59:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, Ted, yeah.
59:11 Speaker 02 Teddy?
59:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, so I'm, you're Dee and I'm Ted.
59:14 Speaker 02 Oh, okay, I was picturing like a teddy bear. Like an evil teddy bear.
59:18 Bobby Lee? Exactly. That's, when we clung together and turned into Teddy, we become a teddy bear.
59:23 Speaker 02 We become, and we're fighting for the body of the teddy bear.
59:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
59:28 Speaker 02 Who's going to take over.
59:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
59:30 Speaker 02 And be the teddy, and a little girl is in love, it's kinda like being John Malkovich.
59:35 Bobby Lee? What? Yeah, yeah, love John, yeah, being John Malkovich.
59:38 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but I don't get it, so what?
59:40 Speaker 02 But aren't they like, like he want, he's like living inside that girl's head?
59:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
59:44 Speaker 02 And then he lives like, that's kinda like what we're doing.
59:45 Bobby Lee? So you and I are both trying to get into this Teddy's head?
59:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:49 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
59:49 Speaker 02 Because we're, we wanna be with this little girl forever.
59:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's write it, that's good. Yeah, that's, I like it, you like that? Teddy, very good. You know, I think you should act.
1:00:03 Speaker 02 Maybe.
1:00:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, cuz that, you know, me and that, you know, Romulan was pretty good, I thought. I mean, you don't know what it was, you committed to it, you said Romulan, right? You did. Do you bleach your teeth? I asked you that.
1:00:15 Speaker 02 No, I don't. I drink a lot of wine, actually. I'm so flattered, though. Thank you.
1:00:20 Bobby Lee? You're really put together.
1:00:22 Speaker 02 Thank you.
1:00:22 Bobby Lee? Your car's nice. What a great life you live.
1:00:24 Speaker 02 Oh, thank you.
1:00:26 Bobby Lee? Have you been sad? I've been sad.
1:00:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:00:28 Bobby Lee? Tell me why.
1:00:30 Speaker 02 I don't take care of myself enough.
1:00:32 Bobby Lee? No, but just in general, are you depressed? Do you get depressed?
1:00:36 Speaker 02 I mean, yeah, and, but I have like a lot of help to help prevent me from being too sad.
1:00:43 Bobby Lee? Like, from whom?
1:00:44 Speaker 02 Like, I, like, stress of life. Like, I have like a personal chef. I have things like that in my life to, like, not overburden myself, but like, I definitely wish like I took better care of like my mental health, my physical. I don't like go to the gym. I don't exercise. I don't do like, I don't take care of myself as much as I wish I did.
1:01:04 Bobby Lee? Hmm. You think you need therapy?
1:01:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think so.
1:01:09 Bobby Lee? Yeah, there's some trauma early on.
1:01:11 Speaker 02 I think that, yeah, I could be a better parent and I would like to know how.
1:01:15 Bobby Lee? I think the best you can is the all you can do.
1:01:18 Speaker 02 I don't think that's true.
1:01:20 Bobby Lee? I think it's true. In fact, I think, you know what I think?
1:01:23 Speaker 02 I think you're one book away from becoming a better version of yourself.
1:01:27 Bobby Lee? Ooh, where'd you learn that, little ditty?
1:01:30 Speaker 02 I made it up.
1:01:31 Bobby Lee? No, really?
1:01:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:01:32 Bobby Lee? You're one book away for being a better version of yourself?
1:01:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:01:35 Bobby Lee? Like, literal reading, you mean?
1:01:36 Speaker 02 Yes, like, literally.
1:01:37 Bobby Lee? Wow, yeah, I have been doing a lot of audiobooks, but the whole, you know, do you know the Bill Burr controversy?
1:01:46 Speaker 02 No.
1:01:47 Bobby Lee? With, um, what's it, Bill, uh, what's Billy? Billy Corgan. Corgan. Smashing Pumpkins. The lead singer of Smashing Pumpkins. You know the controversy? They could have the same deck, so what, my point is this, is that I think it's just in the genes.
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1:02:34 Bobby Lee? Right, and I think that, you know, I mean, you're just gonna, you know, I mean, you're gonna raise, is it a boy or girl?
1:02:40 Speaker 02 I have a girl.
1:02:40 Bobby Lee? Okay, girl. She's gonna have a bright, smiley face like you do. A nice person, right? I think you're bright.
1:02:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think so.
1:02:48 Bobby Lee? And, you know, I mean, also, she's gonna be maybe athletic because if you're, you know, who you bred, you know what I mean?
1:02:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:02:54 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean?
1:02:55 Speaker 02 Who I bred with.
1:02:56 Bobby Lee? Who you bred with.
1:02:57 Speaker 00 What a romantic way.
1:02:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you did old school breeding, you know what I mean? And you have, I think, I think there's nothing much you can do except see what happens. You just don't hit him, hit her.
1:03:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:03:08 Bobby Lee? And yell.
1:03:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:03:09 Bobby Lee? Like, if I had a kid, there's these rules, no hitting and no yelling.
1:03:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, we don't do that.
1:03:15 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Like, "Hey, Kaya!" You know what I mean?
1:03:19 Speaker 02 Yeah, we don't do that.
1:03:20 Bobby Lee? "Eat the mashed potatoes, it's baked," or whatever, you know what I mean?
1:03:23 Speaker 02 No, I feel like, I feel like if you want your kids to do stuff, you just have to make it a game and then they wanna do it. So, everything, we just make it a game and then she'll wanna do it.
1:03:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I don't wanna clean my room.
1:03:34 Speaker 02 You don't wanna clean your room?
1:03:34 Bobby Lee? No.
1:03:36 Speaker 02 Like, maybe I'll do some silly things and I'll make the things like dance and play. I'll be like, "Ooh, but, wait, wait, where do we put this? Huh, huh? Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Where'd mommy go? Oh, I'm there, he's in."
1:03:48 Bobby Lee? Mom, you're retarded.
1:03:52 Bobby Lee? You know? Fuck you.
1:03:55 Speaker 02 Oh, your daddy already did that. You can't do that!
1:03:59 Bobby Lee? Like, if your kid said that to you, "Fuck you, mom," what would you say?
1:04:02 Speaker 02 Um, I don't think my kid would say that to me.
1:04:05 Bobby Lee? See, that's what I'm saying, but what if they did?
1:04:07 Speaker 02 If they did, then...
1:04:09 Bobby Lee? How about you, Jo, I mean, you're, you have two kids?
1:04:11 Speaker 00 Um, my son has started saying, "You're not my best," whenever, yeah, he gets mad at me.
1:04:15 Speaker 02 That you're not at your best?
1:04:17 Speaker 00 No, "You're not my best," cause like, whenever I'm like, now, he like, likes me, he's like,
1:04:20 Speaker 02 Oh, like, you're not his best friend?
1:04:22 Speaker 00 Yeah, and then I'm like, no.
1:04:24 Speaker 02 But that's not saying, "Fuck you."
1:04:25 Speaker 00 Yeah. It, it's his version of it.
1:04:27 Bobby Lee? No, that's not the "fuck you" we're talking about, dude.
1:04:29 Speaker 00 It's a three-year-old version of it.
1:04:30 Bobby Lee? Oh, so, oh, so if I'm like, if I'm in the street,
1:04:33 Speaker 02 "Fuck you" is different than saying,
1:04:34 Bobby Lee? and I'm pushing a guy and we're gonna fight, right? And I go, "You're not your best!"
1:04:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's not the same.
1:04:40 Speaker 00 Yo, man, why you talking like that?
1:04:41 Bobby Lee? Hey, dog, you're not your best, dog.
1:04:42 Speaker 00 You're not your best. You're not your best.
1:04:44 Bobby Lee? What you call me?
1:04:44 Speaker 00 You're not your best.
1:04:45 Bobby Lee? You wanna say it doesn't have the same fucking thing?
1:04:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's not the same thing.
1:04:48 Speaker 00 It's a person of it. No, no, no, I'm not bad.
1:04:51 Speaker 02 No, because my, my husband actually accidentally taught my daughter like Sukablat, which is like bitch fuck. And when she was saying that, like, but she wasn't.
1:05:00 Bobby Lee? Sukablock?
1:05:01 Speaker 02 Sukablat?
1:05:02 Bobby Lee? Sukablat.
1:05:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:05:04 Bobby Lee? Hey, man, Sukablat!
1:05:05 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:05:06 Bobby Lee? Gilbert, where are you?
1:05:07 Speaker 02 And like, that's definitely way worse.
1:05:09 Bobby Lee? How is Sukablat? Sukablat you! That's their, thank you. God damn, dude.
1:05:13 Speaker 02 God damn.
1:05:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Sukablat means that. In what language?
1:05:16 Speaker 02 Russian.
1:05:17 Bobby Lee? Oh, you're, he's Russian?
1:05:18 Speaker 02 No, he's Latvian, but he speaks Russian.
1:05:20 Bobby Lee? Okay. Do you have an accent?
1:05:22 Speaker 02 Yes.
1:05:23 Bobby Lee? Wow. That's nice.
1:05:25 Speaker 02 That.
1:05:26 Bobby Lee? Is, is it sexy?
1:05:28 Speaker 02 I like it, yeah.
1:05:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Cause Russians are fuck, if, if, if I was in a war, that's the last people I would fight.
1:05:34 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
1:05:35 Bobby Lee? Russians, right?
1:05:35 Speaker 02 They're the whole reason that like, they stopped Hitler.
1:05:38 Bobby Lee? Exactly.
1:05:38 Speaker 02 Without them.
1:05:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah. We helped.
1:05:42 Speaker 02 We helped a small amount. They had a much larger casualty than America. America, I think, takes a lot of, like...
1:05:49 Bobby Lee? Right, cause they went...
1:05:50 Speaker 02 I'm not trying to be like pro-Russia.
1:05:51 Bobby Lee? No, you're right. Cause, no, no, no, cause when Germans went, um, east, they had that whole conflict with Russia, yeah. That was, it was brutal.
1:05:59 Speaker 02 Russia, I think, helped a lot more in that war than America did. Definitely America and Britain. There's like, America, Britain, and Russia were the three great forces. But I think Russia did the most work.
1:06:10 Bobby Lee? So if you, you and I were president of a country, who would be a country?
1:06:13 Speaker 02 Of which country?
1:06:14 Bobby Lee? We'll make it up. We're, um, Teddy country. I don't know.
1:06:16 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:06:17 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. What's it, what do we call a country? Um, the Riley Lee. Riley, um, Bobby Riley.
1:06:23 Speaker 02 Bobby Reed.
1:06:24 Bobby Lee? Bobby Reed. The Bobby Reed. That's our little country.
1:06:27 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:06:28 Bobby Lee? And we have a military. What's the country?
1:06:30 Speaker 02 Why do we have to have a military? Why can't we be like Costa Rica?
1:06:32 Bobby Lee? Oh my god, we're not Switzerland, man!
1:06:34 Speaker 02 Costa Rica?
1:06:34 Bobby Lee? We gotta take, we want, no, we wanna colonize places, man.
1:06:37 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:06:38 Bobby Lee? Okay?
1:06:38 Speaker 02 All right, fine.
1:06:39 Bobby Lee? First place we'd colonize is Catalina Island.
1:06:41 Speaker 00 Yes.
1:06:42 Bobby Lee? I think we can take that. You think we can take Catalina Island?
1:06:45 Speaker 02 Can we take the Bahamas?
1:06:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we'll take the Bahamas next.
1:06:47 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:06:48 Bobby Lee? And then what else would we take? Cuba. No, not Cuba. No, they have missiles. No, but they have good food.
1:06:54 Speaker 02 So then that's why we should take them.
1:06:56 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, you're right. But what's a place you wouldn't want to take? Russia, right?
1:06:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:07:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. What's a place that's gonna be easy? Finland?
1:07:04 Speaker 02 Costa Rica.
1:07:05 Bobby Lee? Costa Rica could be right.
1:07:06 Speaker 02 Because they don't have an army.
1:07:07 Bobby Lee? They don't have an army? But are they, um, American sovereign state or no?
1:07:12 Speaker 02 I think they do have some sort of sovereign thing, but they put all their funding in their environment, so they're super eco-friendly.
1:07:19 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Puerto Rico, no, because that's definitely an American sovereign.
1:07:24 Speaker 02 Those are my people. Don't take them.
1:07:25 Bobby Lee? No, we're not. Okay, all right. We're not. That's why we're having this meeting. We're running this country.
1:07:29 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:07:30 Bobby Lee? All right?
1:07:30 Speaker 02 The world, you mean?
1:07:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, um, you know what I would take?
1:07:36 Bobby Lee? So there's a little, when you...
1:07:38 Speaker 02 Why don't you take Korea? They made that guy kill himself.
1:07:41 Bobby Lee? No. You know how hard it would take Korea? It's tough. It's way too tough. Because you have America too. They're backing. There's no way.
1:07:49 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:07:50 Bobby Lee? Okay? But I'm gonna propose something to you, okay? I saw this on a TikTok, okay? I don't know if it's true. But you can't... I saw TikTok, so it's probably true. But you can't really drive from Mexico all the way down to Brazil, because there's a little stretch of land there. Oh, I think I saw that. That's super dangerous. Yeah.
1:08:10 Speaker 00 Darien. Darien. The Darien Gap.
1:08:12 Bobby Lee? The Darien Gap. And why is it dangerous?
1:08:16 Speaker 00 It's like 20 miles of pure jungle.
1:08:18 Bobby Lee? What?
1:08:18 Speaker 02 Gang?
1:08:19 Bobby Lee? Exactly. What else do you think?
1:08:21 Speaker 02 Dogs.
1:08:22 Bobby Lee? Okay. Yeah, dogs, yes.
1:08:25 Speaker 02 I don't know.
1:08:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Poisonous snakes.
1:08:28 Speaker 02 Oh.
1:08:28 Bobby Lee? You know what I mean? Um, there's like, you know...
1:08:30 Speaker 02 Crocodiles?
1:08:31 Bobby Lee? Yeah, there's like roads that are like, um, not like...
1:08:34 Speaker 00 No, you can just walk through it. I, uh, the last, uh, guy I got from, uh, Home Depot to clean up my yard, I talked to him about it, and he had to walk through it for two days.
1:08:41 Bobby Lee? You walk through it?
1:08:42 Speaker 00 Yeah, like you go with a group, so you don't, uh...
1:08:45 Bobby Lee? But there are, aren't there like, like, people that like, kidnap, kidnap you and...
1:08:48 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, he said you have to go with a group, you have to like, know people, but like, you just walk for two days with no food, nothing, like, it's all...
1:08:54 Bobby Lee? But our country, we take that chunk of land, we pave the roads, and we do a fucking toll.
1:09:00 Speaker 02 Ah.
1:09:01 Bobby Lee? Don't you think?
1:09:01 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:09:02 Bobby Lee? You wanna come to Brazil, you wanna drive? Yeah, money.
1:09:04 Speaker 02 Money.
1:09:05 Bobby Lee? Right? Nice, we'll have like, a, a Love's gas station there, so they can buy like, lottery tickets and beef jerky.
1:09:11 Speaker 02 Oh.
1:09:12 Bobby Lee? Well, why do you just sound Asian just now?
1:09:14 Speaker 02 I just said, oh, that was you just perceiving it.
1:09:18 Bobby Lee? That's crazy, there's so many Asians in this room, Riley.
1:09:22 Speaker 02 That was your own confirmation bias.
1:09:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we would, what would you have there? So we would have a toll, how much would you charge?
1:09:31 Speaker 02 I would have like, a crocodile, uh, you know, the crocodile hunter type guy, where it's like, you can come and hang out with the snakes, cuz I'm from Florida, so I like that kinda shit.
1:09:39 Bobby Lee? Oh, we'll have like, a crocodile Dundee guy.
1:09:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, we're...
1:09:41 Bobby Lee? And we have like, a, a...
1:09:42 Speaker 02 Not the Dundee, it's like, the crocodile hunter.
1:09:44 Bobby Lee? I know, I know what you're saying, but what I'm saying is that we'd have like, a petting zoo area.
1:09:48 Speaker 02 Yes, for reptile, dangerous reptiles.
1:09:50 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but how much money can we make off of that?
1:09:52 Speaker 02 A lot.
1:09:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but, people can see crocodiles in Florida, like, we gotta have animals that...
1:09:57 Speaker 02 Okay, okay.
1:09:58 Bobby Lee? What, you know what the, you know what the...
1:09:59 Speaker 02 Sex shows with the animals.
1:10:01 Bobby Lee? See, that's your, that's where you're coming.
1:10:03 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:10:03 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't do a donkey show, we do a crocodile show.
1:10:07 Speaker 02 Yes.
1:10:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, did crocodiles have penises?
1:10:10 Speaker 02 You can cut the end of the snake off and...
1:10:13 Bobby Lee? Wow. That's crazy.
1:10:15 Speaker 00 A lot of image.
1:10:17 Bobby Lee? Would you, you wouldn't do that?
1:10:18 Speaker 02 I don't have a penis, so I can't.
1:10:19 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, yeah, I don't wanna think about that, so we do, so we have a love, we have a love, a petting zoo.
1:10:25 Speaker 02 A horse.
1:10:27 Bobby Lee? Jeez.
1:10:28 Speaker 02 A horse show.
1:10:29 Bobby Lee? That's our secretary of state. She chips in every once in a while. A horse? What are you talking about?
1:10:34 Speaker 02 Fuck.
1:10:35 Bobby Lee? No, no, no. How about...
1:10:37 Speaker 02 Oh my.
1:10:38 Bobby Lee? Oh, that's a crocodile penis?
1:10:39 Speaker 02 Whoa.
1:10:40 Bobby Lee? Whoa, dude.
1:10:42 Speaker 02 It's kind of small for as big as the crocodile is.
1:10:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I imagine Groot having that penis.
1:10:48 Bobby Lee? Guardians of the galaxy, anyway, that's where my mind goes.
1:10:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:10:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, and then, so we charge there, a nice hotel.
1:10:55 Speaker 02 Like a Four Seasons.
1:10:57 Bobby Lee? Really, yeah, yeah, yeah, Four Seasons, yeah.
1:10:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:10:59 Bobby Lee? And a casino. Oh, I have a casino.
1:11:02 Speaker 02 Definitely a casino.
1:11:03 Bobby Lee? What?
1:11:04 Speaker 03 In the food court. You can have two.
1:11:07 Bobby Lee? This is our secretary of food and agriculture. Hi, mate, yeah, excuse me, Jaime, you want to pipe in?
1:11:12 Speaker 02 Are you masturbating under the table?
1:11:13 Speaker 03 Oh, my god.
1:11:14 Bobby Lee? So Jaime, pipe in, what would you like propose?
1:11:17 Speaker 03 A food court.
1:11:19 Bobby Lee? What, what, what restaurants do you want there?
1:11:21 Speaker 03 Uh, one Panda Express.
1:11:23 Speaker 02 I knew it.
1:11:23 Bobby Lee? Classic. I knew it. I knew it too.
1:11:25 Speaker 00 Ah, so.
1:11:26 Speaker 03 Panda Express.
1:11:27 Bobby Lee? What'd you say, asshole?
1:11:28 Speaker 03 Um, yeah. Food from your place.
1:11:31 Bobby Lee? What, what?
1:11:32 Speaker 02 Like, I'm cooking? What do you mean?
1:11:33 Speaker 03 No, like, from your people, like, Costa Rica.
1:11:35 Speaker 02 Oh, okay.
1:11:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:11:36 Speaker 00 Costa Rica.
1:11:37 Speaker 03 Some food from your place.
1:11:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, a Jolly Bee.
1:11:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:11:41 Bobby Lee? We put in a Jolly Bee. A Panda Express.
1:11:43 Speaker 03 Taco Bell, over here.
1:11:45 Bobby Lee? A Taco Bell.
1:11:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:11:46 Bobby Lee? Can we put some nice restaurants there?
1:11:47 Speaker 03 Alright, um.
1:11:48 Bobby Lee? Like a Maestro.
1:11:49 Speaker 02 In the Chili's.
1:11:50 Bobby Lee? Or a Boa Steakhouse. A chili?
1:11:52 Speaker 03 Outback Steakhouse.
1:11:53 Speaker 02 Baby back ribs.
1:11:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah?
1:11:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:11:56 Bobby Lee? Okay, good, so we can make some money here.
1:11:58 Speaker 03 Outback Steakhouse. A comedy club for you and me?
1:12:01 Speaker 02 Hey, and my future career.
1:12:04 Bobby Lee? Riley's Club. We do different things.
1:12:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, oh. For Lesc at night?
1:12:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah. No, I want to say something to you, Riley, um, and I want to admit something to you guys. A couple of months ago, I went into a strip club. I was so lonely. And, um, they don't charge a lot for lap dances anymore. Did you guys know that?
1:12:25 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:12:27 Bobby Lee? It was like forty bucks for like twenty minutes, but I'm like.
1:12:30 Speaker 02 Twenty minutes? That's a long time.
1:12:32 Bobby Lee? I know, that's what I'm saying, it's not that much.
1:12:34 Speaker 02 Whoa.
1:12:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. I did go to a kind of a gross one, but, you know what I mean? You never worked in a strip, did you?
1:12:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, I did.
1:12:41 Bobby Lee? When?
1:12:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:12:41 Bobby Lee? Before?
1:12:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, before I got into porn. I made like zero money.
1:12:47 Bobby Lee? Why?
1:12:47 Speaker 00 I lost money.
1:12:48 Speaker 02 Because I'm like, yeah, basically, I'm like super social and friendly.
1:12:52 Bobby Lee? Alright.
1:12:53 Speaker 02 The guys would like hustle me because they'd be like, oh, she's just gonna talk to me and I don't have to give her money.
1:12:58 Bobby Lee? Alright.
1:12:59 Speaker 00 They're like, give me money.
1:13:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, the most I made, I think, is like eighty dollars.
1:13:04 Bobby Lee? Really?
1:13:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, and I was like, I could make more money at McDonald's.
1:13:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you can't do dances? You never did any dances?
1:13:09 Speaker 02 I did dances, but like, I just don't know how to, like, I didn't know how to sell the dances.
1:13:14 Bobby Lee? Oh.
1:13:15 Speaker 02 Like, because I would just like hang out at the strip club, like.
1:13:19 Bobby Lee? Let me see how I would do it. Unless you're a guy. I would sit next to you. Oh, that's how you do it?
1:13:24 Speaker 02 I'm the dude, right?
1:13:25 Bobby Lee? Hi, I'm Charlottetaine. I'm sorry, I wanna.
1:13:30 Speaker 00 Charlottetaine.
1:13:31 Bobby Lee? No, because I want a different name. I just made it up, sorry, yeah.
1:13:33 Speaker 00 We know.
1:13:34 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you know, you know?
1:13:36 Speaker 00 We know.
1:13:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how sometimes they use like a mineral?
1:13:40 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:13:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I'm quartz.
1:13:41 Speaker 00 Oh, there we go.
1:13:42 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
1:13:42 Bobby Lee? Is that pretty good?
1:13:43 Speaker 02 Good one.
1:13:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I'm quartz. Electric quartz. I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm gonna name it, make a, I'm electric quartz. Hi.
1:13:52 Speaker 02 Hi.
1:13:54 Bobby Lee? Wow, you have a delay, huh? Anyway, um, you come in here often?
1:13:59 Speaker 02 No, it's my first time.
1:14:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah? You wanna, you wanna have some fun?
1:14:04 Speaker 02 Hell, yeah.
1:14:05 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you wanna, you want me to give you a little private dance?
1:14:07 Speaker 02 Oh, I don't know.
1:14:09 Bobby Lee? Oh, well, can I, can I, I'll tell you something.
1:14:11 Speaker 02 Tell me.
1:14:12 Bobby Lee? Can I tell you a secret?
1:14:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:14:13 Bobby Lee? I don't, I give the best ones here.
1:14:16 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah? Can you give me a little free show?
1:14:17 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, no, no, because I'm telling you, it's so good, I can't give it out for free.
1:14:21 Speaker 02 Oh, well, then, I don't know.
1:14:23 Bobby Lee? Well, I mean, do you wanna come?
1:14:24 Speaker 02 Of course I wanna come.
1:14:26 Bobby Lee? Wait, let me ask you this. When you get lap dances, do you generally come?
1:14:30 Speaker 02 No.
1:14:30 Bobby Lee? Exactly. I'm guaranteeing come.
1:14:33 Speaker 02 You, you sound too confident and not seducing me enough.
1:14:37 Bobby Lee? Okay. You like to see my nipples?
1:14:39 Speaker 02 I wanna come.
1:14:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah, that's good.
1:14:41 Speaker 03 You're fired.
1:14:42 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah, is that how you do it? Let me say that.
1:14:44 Speaker 02 I don't know, I feel.
1:14:45 Bobby Lee? Alright, how about this?
1:14:47 Bobby Lee? Let's just do it, let's just do it.
1:14:50 Bobby Lee? Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
1:14:52 Speaker 00 Just be more graceful.
1:14:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right.
1:14:53 Speaker 00 You're going a little too rigid.
1:14:54 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. I think, I'm, yeah, I'm doing it more of a SNL character.
1:14:58 Speaker 00 Feel it.
1:15:00 Bobby Lee? Hi.
1:15:01 Speaker 02 Hi.
1:15:06 Bobby Lee? He's so scared.
1:15:07 Speaker 00 He's like, "Hi."
1:15:08 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:15:15 Bobby Lee? I can't wait.
1:15:16 Speaker 00 Soften your shoulders, relax your shoulders.
1:15:17 Bobby Lee? Is that what it is? Yeah, you be, help me, because I've never done this before.
1:15:20 Speaker 00 Go ahead.
1:15:24 Speaker 00 Put your chin down, put your chin down.
1:15:25 Bobby Lee? Chin down on this?
1:15:26 Speaker 00 Yeah, there we go.
1:15:28 Bobby Lee? Hi, I'm electric quartz.
1:15:33 Speaker 00 Okay, use your, use, ooh.
1:15:35 Bobby Lee? Because it's like electricity.
1:15:36 Speaker 00 Hit her with electricity two more times.
1:15:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:15:39 Speaker 00 And then, and then, ooh, there we go.
1:15:45 Speaker 02 Oh, are you okay?
1:15:47 Bobby Lee? Fine, it's the electricity coming through my vagina.
1:15:50 Speaker 02 Wow.
1:15:51 Bobby Lee? It's so good and pure. It's pure shock.
1:15:54 Speaker 00 Start caressing your body now.
1:15:55 Bobby Lee? Okay, oh, sorry. That's my inner thought. You can't hear my inner thoughts.
1:16:00 Bobby Lee? Sometimes my inner thoughts, people can hear.
1:16:02 Speaker 02 You're feeling like you're itchy.
1:16:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:16:04 Speaker 00 Lower, slower, slower.
1:16:09 Speaker 00 There we go.
1:16:11 Speaker 00 Good, slow motion.
1:16:12 Bobby Lee? Chin down.
1:16:12 Speaker 00 Yeah, chin down.
1:16:16 Speaker 00 Keep hitting her with the zaps.
1:16:20 Bobby Lee? You wanna have some fun?
1:16:21 Speaker 02 I do.
1:16:23 Bobby Lee? Let's say you and I go back and I give you a little lap dance.
1:16:29 Bobby Lee? Yeah, what do you think?
1:16:30 Speaker 02 Oh, I'm a little intrigued.
1:16:33 Speaker 00 Jolt your whole body really quick.
1:16:34 Bobby Lee? Excuse me?
1:16:34 Speaker 00 Jolt your whole body.
1:16:37 Speaker 00 Don't, don't explain it, don't explain it. See if she responds.
1:16:40 Speaker 02 Whoa.
1:16:43 Speaker 02 Do you do that in the back room?
1:16:44 Speaker 00 There we go.
1:16:45 Bobby Lee? Oh, yes, I do. And more some. Give me the word. Give me the word. And more.
1:16:50 Speaker 00 And more.
1:16:51 Bobby Lee? And more, and more. And some.
1:16:54 Speaker 00 Hit her with his app. Jolt, jolt, jolt.
1:16:59 Bobby Lee? Anyway.
1:17:00 Speaker 02 Do you have a butt plug in?
1:17:01 Bobby Lee? Yeah, what? Describe your butt plug there. My butt plug is gigantic. My butt plug is like a log. Good, more analogies. It's shaped like a log. More analogies. You know, okay, have you ever been on a lake?
1:17:15 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:17:16 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you know how they play that game where two people get on a log? And they try to get each other off by like, you know what I mean? Too much explanation.
1:17:24 Bobby Lee? Keep it simple. Excuse me, I have to talk to my inner self. I'm just describing the size of the log. You're right. Yeah, yeah, right. So it's that big of a log.
1:17:33 Speaker 02 Wow.
1:17:34 Bobby Lee? And it spins like two people are like playing that game in my butthole.
1:17:37 Speaker 02 Wow.
1:17:37 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:17:38 Speaker 02 Can we replace the butt plug with something in my pants?
1:17:43 Bobby Lee? Yes.
1:17:45 Speaker 02 How much extra is it?
1:17:46 Bobby Lee? Free. No, no, charge something. Charge, oh shit. Really? You're gonna walk out all this $8. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ten dollars. Five, higher. You know what? Ten dollars. Ten dollars. Yeah, but you have to wear, you know, I have to, you know, I have my special, um, electric quartz condoms.
1:18:03 Speaker 02 Oh.
1:18:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah, it's made out of, um, it's made out of what? Marmoset skin. Yeah. Marmoset skin? Gildan t-shirts. Gildan t-shirts and marmoset. Yeah, yeah, so it feels like you're not even wearing a condom.
1:18:17 Speaker 02 I'm down.
1:18:17 Bobby Lee? You're down?
1:18:18 Speaker 02 Let's go.
1:18:19 Bobby Lee? Let's go. Hey, get your partner and try to do a threesome. Hey.
1:18:23 Speaker 03 Hi.
1:18:24 Bobby Lee? I'm sorry, this is my friend, what's your name again?
1:18:27 Speaker 03 Tiffany.
1:18:28 Bobby Lee? Tiffany, but she has a stage name, what is it? She has a, she has a mineral and, and an adjective. You mean, so what is it?
1:18:36 Speaker 03 Mountain Valley.
1:18:38 Bobby Lee? She's like the water. She's like the water.
1:18:40 Speaker 02 Wow.
1:18:41 Bobby Lee? She's always wet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mountain Valley is always wet, dude.
1:18:45 Speaker 03 Who's this?
1:18:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, what?
1:18:47 Speaker 03 Who's this?
1:18:48 Bobby Lee? This is, what, Tom, what's your name again?
1:18:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, my name's Tom.
1:18:52 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, Tom.
1:18:53 Speaker 02 Timmy Tom.
1:18:54 Bobby Lee? Timmy Tom.
1:18:54 Speaker 03 Timmy Tom.
1:18:55 Bobby Lee? Little Timmy Tom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:18:57 Speaker 03 Are we going to the back room?
1:18:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we are, ten dollars for anal.
1:19:03 Bobby Lee? Thirty minutes. Did I charge more?
1:19:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, dumb bitch.
1:19:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Hey, Mountain Valley. Mountain Valley. Lashes of water.
1:19:10 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, yeah.
1:19:11 Bobby Lee? No, no, just.
1:19:12 Speaker 03 Oh, I have water down here.
1:19:14 Bobby Lee? Mountain Valley. Actually throw water. Money, Mom, I can hear your inner thought. Okay, which is that guy, right?
1:19:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:19:21 Bobby Lee? So anyway.
1:19:22 Speaker 03 My inner thought's a white guy.
1:19:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:19:26 Speaker 02 Sounds about right.
1:19:27 Bobby Lee? Now, we gotta go to the, now, he, you're the doorman. You know, there's not a doorman, the person that, there's always somebody.
1:19:33 Speaker 00 The manager.
1:19:33 Bobby Lee? Right, no, not manager.
1:19:35 Speaker 00 Ricky.
1:19:35 Bobby Lee? There's Ricky?
1:19:36 Speaker 00 Ricky.
1:19:37 Bobby Lee? There's always a guy that brings you into the back, that you have to pay that guy.
1:19:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:19:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:19:42 Speaker 00 That's you.
1:19:43 Bobby Lee? That's you.
1:19:43 Speaker 00 Your name, your name is Michael, you have a deep voice.
1:19:46 Speaker 04 Michael.
1:19:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:19:47 Speaker 00 Bieber.
1:19:48 Bobby Lee? Hi, Michael.
1:19:49 Speaker 04 Hello.
1:19:50 Bobby Lee? What's my name?
1:19:52 Speaker 04 Hello, Electric Quartz.
1:19:55 Bobby Lee? Hello, Michael. Do you remember my friend?
1:19:59 Speaker 04 Watery Valley Mountain.
1:20:04 Bobby Lee? What the fuck?
1:20:07 Speaker 04 Mountain Valley.
1:20:08 Bobby Lee? Mountain Valley. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's been working here for 20 years. Yeah, she's our head.
1:20:13 Speaker 04 I'm sorry, I'm tired.
1:20:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Tinny Ton, Timmy Tom.
1:20:19 Speaker 04 Hello.
1:20:19 Speaker 02 I wanna buy a dance.
1:20:20 Speaker 04 Ooh.
1:20:21 Speaker 02 From these two ladies.
1:20:22 Speaker 00 Explain the rules, explain the rules.
1:20:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, explain the rules.
1:20:24 Speaker 04 So, the rules are, um, Mountain Valley will suck your butt.
1:20:31 Speaker 02 It's a brothel.
1:20:33 Bobby Lee? What, what, what?
1:20:34 Speaker 00 Suck your butt?
1:20:35 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, what, what's going on here? There's new rules? We're only charging $10.
1:20:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:20:42 Speaker 04 Um, Electric Quartz will, will do a dance.
1:20:47 Bobby Lee? A dance, yeah, yeah.
1:20:48 Speaker 04 With special, with something special for $10.
1:20:51 Bobby Lee? Which is what?
1:20:53 Bobby Lee? Thriller.
1:20:54 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, Michael Jackson.
1:20:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, thriller. Yeah, yeah.
1:20:57 Speaker 04 Thriller.
1:21:00 Bobby Lee? Right, I do that, and then what does, um, Mountain Valley do?
1:21:02 Speaker 04 Mountain Valley will do something behind you.
1:21:04 Bobby Lee? Which is what?
1:21:06 Speaker 04 Um.
1:21:07 Bobby Lee? Do a full-blown show.
1:21:11 Speaker 04 He'll, he'll crawl and do like animal things.
1:21:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, and just do, give him an example, um, Mountain Valley, of your animal things.
1:21:19 Speaker 00 Uh, I can do the crab walk.
1:21:21 Bobby Lee? Don't, just do, don't say.
1:21:23 Speaker 00 I can't get down on the floor.
1:21:24 Bobby Lee? No, but, just do it, do, oh, no, do, no, do the snow leopard, do snow leopard, we love your snow leopard.
1:21:29 Speaker 00 What's snow leopard?
1:21:30 Bobby Lee? Just do it.
1:21:31 Speaker 00 Just do the move.
1:21:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, there we go.
1:21:33 Speaker 00 Alex the Lion?
1:21:34 Bobby Lee? Alex the Lion's the snow leopard, anyway.
1:21:36 Speaker 00 God damn.
1:21:37 Bobby Lee? Goddamn. All right, here's.
1:21:38 Speaker 04 Okay, you can go in.
1:21:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, but charge, how much?
1:21:41 Speaker 04 $10.
1:21:42 Bobby Lee? No, no, no, no. Yeah. What?
1:21:44 Speaker 00 You charge her 20 for, to get in.
1:21:45 Speaker 04 Oh, it's for both.
1:21:46 Speaker 00 Our dance is 10.
1:21:47 Speaker 04 Oh, they said 20.
1:21:52 Speaker 02 I thought it was just 10. I only really want electric cords.
1:21:56 Speaker 04 But, Mountain Valley is special.
1:21:59 Speaker 00 Oh, we know.
1:22:00 Bobby Lee? Yeah, we know.
1:22:01 Speaker 00 We know.
1:22:02 Bobby Lee? We know, we know he is. She is, I mean.
1:22:04 Speaker 04 Yeah, she's very special.
1:22:06 Bobby Lee? It's very special.
1:22:07 Speaker 04 So, if you want an extra, then it has to be 20.
1:22:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:22:12 Speaker 02 Is she worth it?
1:22:13 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:22:14 Bobby Lee? Not really. But do it.
1:22:17 Speaker 02 Cause then I could get two dances with you.
1:22:20 Bobby Lee? That's true. Mountain, scram.
1:22:22 Speaker 03 No, I know I need this.
1:22:23 Speaker 00 Why? What's your backstory?
1:22:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:22:25 Speaker 02 Yeah, come on Tiffany, your, your real name.
1:22:28 Speaker 03 Yes, I don't have, I can't meet, ends meet.
1:22:31 Bobby Lee? What's your backstory?
1:22:32 Speaker 03 My backstory, I've been here 20 years.
1:22:36 Speaker 03 My backstory.
1:22:37 Bobby Lee? She's thanks for adding to the.
1:22:40 Bobby Lee? You add no information.
1:22:42 Speaker 00 She's repeated every.
1:22:43 Bobby Lee? At all.
1:22:44 Speaker 03 I've been here 20 years.
1:22:46 Speaker 00 We got that.
1:22:47 Bobby Lee? Yeah. Wow.
1:22:51 Bobby Lee? My backstory is my parents were Haitian warlords. And I was a white girl in Haitian, I don't know how I got there. And you know what took me there? A tornado. Just like, just like Wizard of Oz.
1:23:05 Speaker 00 Dorothy.
1:23:05 Bobby Lee? Dorothy. And they brought me back to return me back to my home, but my parents died in a fire. So I decided that, let these Haitian folks, Mangdul and Tanya, my parents. Mangdul and Tanya, and they raised me.
1:23:21 Speaker 00 No one heard you say the names again?
1:23:23 Bobby Lee? What?
1:23:23 Speaker 00 No one heard you say the names again?
1:23:25 Bobby Lee? What do you mean Mangdul and Tanya?
1:23:26 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:23:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I said it again. Should I say it again?
1:23:30 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:23:30 Bobby Lee? That's my inner thought?
1:23:31 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:23:31 Bobby Lee? Mangdul and Tanya. Haitian warlords. Right? My parents died in a fire. Well, they're not dead, but they're crispy. And I didn't want crispy parents. Okay, you know how they get crispy? You don't?
1:23:46 Speaker 03 Fire.
1:23:47 Bobby Lee? What?
1:23:48 Speaker 03 There's a fire.
1:23:51 Bobby Lee? Let me ask my inner thoughts.
1:23:55 Bobby Lee? Anyway, that's my backstory. Now, tell me your backstory.
1:23:57 Speaker 03 My backstory. I come from a European, uh, two, two parents when you were pretty young. We smoked cigarettes, we eat chocolate, you crazy Americans, and you porn.
1:24:13 Bobby Lee? Okay, good. Very good.
1:24:16 Bobby Lee? Tiny Tom, what's your backstory?
1:24:18 Speaker 02 Um, I've been married three times.
1:24:21 Bobby Lee? Yes.
1:24:21 Speaker 02 I have seven children.
1:24:23 Bobby Lee? Yes.
1:24:24 Speaker 02 I don't talk to any of them.
1:24:26 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:24:27 Speaker 02 Actually, maybe you're my daughter.
1:24:29 Bobby Lee? Yes, Dad.
1:24:30 Speaker 02 Can I put it in your butt?
1:24:31 Bobby Lee? Yes, Dad. Please, Dad.
1:24:34 Speaker 02 But don't ask for any money.
1:24:36 Bobby Lee? I'm not gonna ask for it.
1:24:36 Speaker 02 I'm gonna disappear as soon as I come in your butt.
1:24:40 Bobby Lee? Right? And then what's the doorman's, the, your backstory?
1:24:44 Speaker 04 I'm Korean.
1:24:48 Speaker 00 What a backstory.
1:24:49 Bobby Lee? That's a good story. That's a good backstory. From where?
1:24:51 Speaker 04 From Korea.
1:24:52 Bobby Lee? From North Korea? How'd you get here?
1:24:53 Speaker 04 I escaped through swimming.
1:24:56 Bobby Lee? Oh, you swam?
1:24:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:24:58 Bobby Lee? I see. So you went from North Korea, gun in the water, and you swam to South Korea?
1:25:03 Speaker 00 You could've walked over.
1:25:04 Bobby Lee? You could've walked across.
1:25:05 Speaker 04 Uh huh.
1:25:05 Bobby Lee? But you decided to use your skills?
1:25:08 Speaker 04 My skills, cuz I'm good at swimming.
1:25:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. And then when you went to Korea, what happened?
1:25:15 Speaker 04 I met up a girl, I fell in love, and then she broke up with me. And then that's it.
1:25:24 Speaker 02 Did she work at this club?
1:25:26 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:25:27 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's great. What a, what a, what a fantastic thing we did.
1:25:32 Speaker 00 Wow.
1:25:33 Bobby Lee? We created a TV show, right?
1:25:36 Bobby Lee? What are you, fake smoking?
1:25:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:25:38 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:25:41 Bobby Lee? So Riley, do you have your own podcast?
1:25:43 Speaker 02 No, but I want to have one.
1:25:45 Bobby Lee? When?
1:25:46 Speaker 02 Maybe this year.
1:25:48 Bobby Lee? You should get, you should team up with somebody.
1:25:50 Speaker 02 I wanna team up with like my employees that I work with, like my, my employees, it's like a group of girls.
1:25:56 Bobby Lee? Oh, yeah.
1:25:57 Speaker 02 And we wanna like, just kinda like...
1:26:00 Speaker 02 Shoot the shit, kinda like how you guys.
1:26:01 Bobby Lee? Why do you do that then?
1:26:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's like our goal for 2025.
1:26:04 Bobby Lee? You gotta get guests on, no?
1:26:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, we wanna have guests.
1:26:07 Bobby Lee? I'd love to do it.
1:26:09 Speaker 02 Of course I would, I'm gonna expect it now that I came on.
1:26:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100% we'll do it.
1:26:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:26:14 Bobby Lee? That's, you'll do it where, in LA?
1:26:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
1:26:17 Bobby Lee? Good. What else you have this, you wanna promote anything else that you have going on?
1:26:21 Speaker 02 Um, not, not really.
1:26:23 Bobby Lee? Did you have fun here?
1:26:23 Speaker 02 Yeah, I did. I did have a lot of fun. Yeah, you guys were so chill.
1:26:27 Bobby Lee? It's so chill and easy. Yeah, yeah. You have nothing to promote?
1:26:31 Speaker 02 Uh, I mean like.
1:26:32 Speaker 00 Flush light.
1:26:33 Speaker 02 Oh yeah, my new flush light, there we go, you're so good at this.
1:26:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:26:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, I got a new flush light, use my mouth.
1:26:39 Bobby Lee? And I'll give you a review.
1:26:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:26:42 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:26:43 Speaker 02 I wanna know how it is.
1:26:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:26:45 Speaker 02 I'll have to get you the other one so you can compare it.
1:26:47 Bobby Lee? What's the other ones?
1:26:48 Speaker 02 My butt and my pussy.
1:26:49 Bobby Lee? I don't think so.
1:26:50 Speaker 00 He's a mouth guy.
1:26:51 Bobby Lee? No, I'm not a mouth guy. I'll be honest with you, can I be honest with you?
1:26:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:26:55 Bobby Lee? Do you use a vibrator or no?
1:26:56 Speaker 02 Uh, yeah, I do.
1:26:58 Bobby Lee? Yeah. That's nice.
1:27:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:27:00 Bobby Lee? Do you have a brand that you use or no? Maybe create your own brand?
1:27:03 Speaker 02 I use the Hitachi. I'm actually, I'm working on a sex toy brand, I'm trying to get with Spencer's, we have actually another meeting this Friday.
1:27:12 Bobby Lee? That's where you, and look.
1:27:14 Speaker 02 Or next Friday.
1:27:14 Bobby Lee? Look into the future too.
1:27:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:27:17 Bobby Lee? Because I think that stuff is gonna be obsolete, I think you gotta go future.
1:27:20 Speaker 02 Yeah, part of my plan is in the future is also to use like all organic products and things like that, that like people.
1:27:29 Speaker 00 Erawan.
1:27:30 Bobby Lee? What?
1:27:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, so I, you'll sell my sex toy at Erawan, shit like that.
1:27:34 Bobby Lee? Like somebody's gonna be, oh, this is vegan?
1:27:36 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly. Vegan, no animals were harmed in the making.
1:27:39 Bobby Lee? Okay, okay, okay.
1:27:40 Speaker 00 Keto.
1:27:41 Bobby Lee? Keto, yeah, yeah. Do you, you guys only use it?
1:27:43 Speaker 02 I also am like working on doing like lubricants where it's like the bottles are really beautiful, like perfume, that's like one of my like biggest goals is to make lubricant bottles that like you could have on your counter and not feel ashamed of it, like, not like an Astro Glide.
1:27:57 Bobby Lee? Right, that's interesting, so that.
1:27:58 Speaker 02 I wanted to look like a perfume or a cologne, so like, you don't know.
1:28:02 Bobby Lee? So it smells?
1:28:03 Speaker 02 No, so you don't know that it's lube, like it just looks beautiful.
1:28:06 Bobby Lee? Well, does it like, it looks like a Red Bull can maybe?
1:28:08 Speaker 02 No, it's just like, it's like, you know, like.
1:28:09 Bobby Lee? Like that?
1:28:10 Speaker 02 Like, you know the Marc Jacob Daisy?
1:28:12 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:28:13 Speaker 02 You know, it looks beautiful.
1:28:14 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:28:14 Speaker 02 Like, like that.
1:28:15 Bobby Lee? Please don't do the hot, cold thing.
1:28:17 Speaker 02 No, no, no, I'm not.
1:28:18 Bobby Lee? You know how something of lube is has hot, like that heating aspect of it? I hate it.
1:28:22 Speaker 02 No, no, no, I'm not gonna do that.
1:28:23 Bobby Lee? It burns so bad.
1:28:24 Speaker 02 I just want it to be like pretty.
1:28:26 Bobby Lee? Like I'm not having sex with Balrog from Lord of the Rings. You know what I mean? Like I don't need the heat, you know what I mean?
1:28:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm not trying to do icy hot.
1:28:32 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, yeah.
1:28:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, no, no.
1:28:35 Bobby Lee? So, um, nothing to plug, follow her on Instagram.
1:28:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, let Riley live if it doesn't get deleted.
1:28:40 Bobby Lee? Let Riley live, and um, what a pleasure to have you on.
1:28:43 Speaker 03 Hey, can I have a quick, can I have one last question?
1:28:45 Bobby Lee? Yeah, go, oh yeah, yeah, oh wait, hold on.
1:28:48 Speaker 03 Okay, so from, speaking from your expertise, am I using that word right?
1:28:53 Bobby Lee? No, but keep going.
1:28:54 Speaker 03 Jesus Christ.
1:28:55 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:28:57 Speaker 03 No, so like a friend of mine, he has issues with like ED.
1:29:01 Bobby Lee? Okay, dude, already dude?
1:29:02 Speaker 03 What?
1:29:02 Bobby Lee? This is pissing me off.
1:29:03 Speaker 03 What?
1:29:04 Bobby Lee? Okay, go ahead.
1:29:05 Speaker 03 So it's hard for my friend.
1:29:07 Bobby Lee? But she's not a doctor.
1:29:09 Speaker 03 Well, I know, but like.
1:29:10 Bobby Lee? Oh, sorry, sorry.
1:29:10 Speaker 03 So, the question is, you think, is he, is he gay? If he has a hard time.
1:29:16 Speaker 00 What is the context of this?
1:29:19 Speaker 03 But, okay, so he tries like one night stands, but.
1:29:23 Speaker 02 Oh, that's why he has ED problems.
1:29:24 Speaker 03 But then he has his girl crush, and with her, it works perfectly.
1:29:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's why it doesn't work with one night stands. Cause you are, your friend is wanting to have, you know.
1:29:36 Speaker 03 Real love, like.
1:29:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:29:37 Speaker 03 Cause there's a difference of making love and then just having.
1:29:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:29:41 Speaker 03 Would you think so?
1:29:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, having an intimate connection is definitely different than just a one night stand. I think it's really common that people struggle with one night stands cause there's nothing that you can actually commit to and bond with. There's nothing that is driving you.
1:29:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:29:56 Speaker 04 Is it you?
1:29:57 Speaker 03 Yes.
1:30:01 Bobby Lee? You have ED?
1:30:02 Speaker 03 Uh, well, I have love connection.
1:30:04 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:30:05 Speaker 03 Not with you.
1:30:05 Bobby Lee? Uh, I wanna, can I share something, can I share something with you, Jaime?
1:30:08 Speaker 03 Blue chew?
1:30:09 Bobby Lee? No, not blue chip. Excuse me?
1:30:11 Speaker 03 No, yeah.
1:30:11 Bobby Lee? So I can't, I've never been able to get a wreck unless I can feel that they're like really into me, really. Especially lately.
1:30:17 Speaker 00 Intimacy right there.
1:30:18 Bobby Lee? Yeah, intimacy.
1:30:19 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's my whole point.
1:30:20 Bobby Lee? I have to, if they're like-
1:30:21 Speaker 02 Stop trying to have one night stands and have fucking sex with strange women that you don't know.
1:30:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Give Riley the winner a round of applause!
1:30:28 Speaker 00 Wait, wait, let's end on this. Let's end on this. This has been clean. Uh, so you guys were talking the entire podcast about Riley being an actor, so I had ChatGPT write up a script.
1:30:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:30:37 Speaker 00 And Riley, I would love for you to try your best. You, can you play the music, Bobby?
1:30:40 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:30:41 Speaker 00 It's a telenovela, serious drama.
1:30:43 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:30:43 Speaker 00 And Bobby, you come in too, so just be ready. Interior, dimly lit bedroom night. Riley and Jaime stand near the window. Moonlight casting a soft glow over their secret embrace. Their faces are closed, whispering confessions of love. Riley whispering.
1:31:00 Speaker 02 Jaime, we shouldn't.
1:31:05 Speaker 02 This is dangerous.
1:31:06 Speaker 00 Riley, I don't care about their risk. I love you.
1:31:11 Bobby Lee? Wait, cut.
1:31:12 Speaker 00 Cut, director?
1:31:13 Bobby Lee? Wait, cut, cut, cut. First of all, zoom in more.
1:31:16 Speaker 00 I can't zoom in.
1:31:17 Bobby Lee? You can't zoom in? Literally, I cannot read it. My eyes are so bad.
1:31:23 Speaker 00 Well, you can give Jaime his note.
1:31:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, here's the note, right? Are you playing a character?
1:31:28 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's a telenovela.
1:31:30 Bobby Lee? Okay, okay, then keep it, you keep it, that was a good choice. Good.
1:31:34 Speaker 03 You ever seen a soap opera? Soap opera?
1:31:36 Bobby Lee? Okay. You're zooming, you're gonna bring it in further?
1:31:38 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:31:39 Bobby Lee? Let me see if I can get it. Riley, what is this? Okay, that's good. I can read there. Let's start from the top. I'm sorry for interrupting, I'm directing it. You made a character choice. I like your character choice. And let's begin and-
1:31:54 Speaker 00 Interior, dimly lit bedroom, night. Riley and Jaime stand near the window. Moonlight casting a soft glow over their secret embrace. Their faces are closed, whispering confessions of love. Riley whispering.
1:32:09 Speaker 02 We shouldn't, Jaime. This... this is dangerous.
1:32:14 Speaker 03 Righty, I don't care about the risk. I love you. You're the only thing that feels right in my life.
1:32:22 Speaker 00 Riley's eyes glisten with tears, torn between her feelings and the weight of her marriage.
1:32:29 Speaker 02 But what if he finds out? He'll never forgive me. Forgive us.
1:32:35 Speaker 00 Jaime pulling her closer.
1:32:38 Speaker 03 Let him know. Righty, I fight for the world for you. You're worth it.
1:32:45 Speaker 00 Suddenly, his lips grow stronger. The bedroom door bursts open. Riley's husband Bobby storms in, his face contorted with rage. He slams the door, shuts behind him.
1:32:55 Bobby Lee? Riley!
1:32:57 Speaker 00 What the fuck?
1:32:58 Bobby Lee? What is this?
1:33:00 Speaker 00 Riley jumps away from Jaime, her hand flying to her mouth. Jaime stands tall, shielding Riley with his body.
1:33:05 Speaker 02 Bobby, I can, I can explain.
1:33:09 Bobby Lee? Explain? Explain what? That's my wife, husband, sneaking around with him.
1:33:16 Speaker 03 Bobby, calm down. This isn't how...
1:33:21 Bobby Lee? You don't speak to me, you snake. I can barely believe this. You come into my home, into my marriage, and you can steal my... what? Mine? What's mine?
1:33:36 Speaker 00 Riley steps within there, her voice trembling, but desperate.
1:33:39 Speaker 02 Stop it, both of you, please, Bobby. I, I never wanted to hurt you, but I haven't been happy for a long time.
1:33:48 Speaker 00 Bobby's face softens for a fleeting moment, but it quickly hardens again.
1:33:53 Bobby Lee? And this?
1:33:55 Speaker 00 What is...
1:33:55 Bobby Lee? And this is how you deal with it? By betraying me?
1:34:00 Speaker 00 Jaime clenches his fist, but keeps his tone calm.
1:34:04 Speaker 03 She deserves to be happy, Bobby.
1:34:08 Speaker 03 Even if it's not with you.
1:34:10 Speaker 02 Bobby! Sorry.
1:34:11 Speaker 00 Bobby lunges forward, grabbing Jaime by the collar. Riley screams.
1:34:14 Speaker 02 Bobby, stop!
1:34:16 Speaker 00 Jaime doesn't flinch, locking his eyes with Bobby.
1:34:19 Speaker 03 Do what you want to me, but you know how deep down you lost her.
1:34:24 Speaker 00 Bobby releases Jaime, shoving him back roughly. He looks at Riley. His expression a mix of anger and pain.
1:34:31 Bobby Lee? I never meant... No, that's not my line. I gave you everything, Riley. And this is how you repay me?
1:34:39 Speaker 00 Riley's tears streamed out her face, her voice barely a whisper.
1:34:42 Speaker 02 I never meant for it to happen like this. But my heart belongs to him.
1:34:50 Speaker 00 Bobby stares at her for a long moment. Before turning, he starts making out, slapping the door behind him. The roof falls to the side, broken by Riley's sobs. Jaime pulls Riley into his arms, holding her tightly as she cries softly.
1:35:05 Speaker 03 It's over now. We'll figure this out together.
1:35:09 Speaker 00 Bobby's still outside the door, moaning. Fade out. Wow.
1:35:13 Bobby Lee? Wow. Wow, what a great... You were the best in that. I think my character-
1:35:18 Speaker 00 What was your choice?
1:35:20 Bobby Lee? I don't know. I was trying to do a Sean Connery.
1:35:22 Speaker 00 Oh my god! Was that what you were doing?
1:35:24 Bobby Lee? Yeah, I was trying to do a Sean Connery, but it came out-
1:35:26 Speaker 00 I was looking at Wilson Wells, but I couldn't-
1:35:27 Bobby Lee? It came out really weird, and I committed to it. Yeah, yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. Anyway, that was fun.
1:35:34 Speaker 00 What an episode.
1:35:34 Bobby Lee? What an episode. Give Riley a round of applause.
1:36:00 Bobby Lee? Jaime. Are you a team player or not a team player?
1:36:04 Speaker 03 I am a team player.
1:36:05 Bobby Lee? You gonna eat balut?
1:36:08 Speaker 03 Oh.
1:36:11 Speaker 03 Do I have to?
1:36:11 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you do.
1:36:12 Speaker 03 Am I gonna throw up?
1:36:13 Bobby Lee? You might.
1:36:14 Speaker 04 No, just have a bite.
1:36:15 Bobby Lee? Just have a bite.
1:36:16 Speaker 00 Jules eats tacos, your people's food.
1:36:18 Speaker 03 Okay, that's normal food.
1:36:20 Bobby Lee? Balutime for Jaime.
1:36:27 Bobby Lee? Balutime for Jaime.
1:36:32 Bobby Lee? Is this it? Jaime, balutime. Is this it?
1:36:37 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:36:38 Bobby Lee? Jaime.
1:36:39 Speaker 00 Wait for the song.
1:36:40 Bobby Lee? For balutime. Balut for you.
1:36:45 Speaker 04 He's dead.
1:36:47 Bobby Lee? Ready?
1:36:48 Speaker 00 Alright, so Jaime, do you remember what this is?
1:36:51 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
1:36:53 Bobby Lee? Just one bite, we wanna see you take a bite, swallow.
1:36:55 Speaker 03 A bite?
1:36:56 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:36:56 Speaker 00 Tell us what it is. If you remember.
1:36:59 Speaker 03 It's a fertilized egg, a duck egg.
1:37:02 Speaker 00 There you go.
1:37:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, there we go.
1:37:03 Speaker 00 Jules is gonna show you.
1:37:04 Speaker 03 Wait, you eat it too, Bobby.
1:37:05 Bobby Lee? I already had one.
1:37:06 Speaker 00 He's had so many.
1:37:08 Speaker 03 Here, crack it.
1:37:08 Speaker 00 Jules, show him how to do it, there you go.
1:37:09 Speaker 04 Just crack it.
1:37:12 Speaker 04 And then just open it on the tip.
1:37:15 Speaker 00 Jaime.
1:37:16 Bobby Lee? Jaime.
1:37:17 Speaker 00 Jaime?
1:37:17 Bobby Lee? Jaime.
1:37:18 Speaker 00 There's other cultures that you need to experience.
1:37:20 Bobby Lee? Yeah, Jaime.
1:37:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, they can stay over there.
1:37:22 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah. Open it up, Jaime.
1:37:24 Speaker 04 Okay, just try this, try this one.
1:37:26 Speaker 03 What's this, lube?
1:37:27 Speaker 04 No, it's vinegar. Okay, I have, yeah.
1:37:30 Bobby Lee? Look at you, she opened one up for you.
1:37:32 Speaker 00 Okay.
1:37:33 Speaker 04 Okay, hold it.
1:37:33 Speaker 00 Crack more, hold it, crack more of the top for Jaime, let's.
1:37:36 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you get to get a lot, like, yeah, get a lot in there.
1:37:38 Speaker 00 Get like half the egg broken.
1:37:39 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, half the egg got broken.
1:37:42 Speaker 03 Why are you making me do this?
1:37:44 Speaker 04 Cause you have to try, it's really good.
1:37:46 Bobby Lee? Yeah, thank you.
1:37:48 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:37:50 Speaker 04 This, the soup is really good.
1:37:53 Bobby Lee? The soup part, yeah. There we go.
1:37:54 Speaker 00 Jaime, take a look.
1:37:58 Speaker 04 Hold it?
1:37:59 Speaker 00 Hold it, Jaime.
1:38:02 Speaker 04 You can try the soup first.
1:38:05 Speaker 00 Should he just bite it, or you want him to drink the soup?
1:38:08 Speaker 04 You can drink the soup first.
1:38:10 Speaker 00 Jaime, get off your phone, what are you doing?
1:38:11 Bobby Lee? What are you doing, Jaime? Jaime, what are you doing?
1:38:15 Speaker 03 Um, recording the last message from my phone.
1:38:17 Bobby Lee? Okay.
1:38:18 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:38:21 Speaker 03 Wait, you, can you eat it first? Oh, can you eat it with me?
1:38:24 Bobby Lee? Well, you eat yours, son.
1:38:31 Speaker 00 Why are you nervous Jaime?
1:38:32 Speaker 03 Cause this is different.
1:38:33 Bobby Lee? It's different, yeah. Look at yours, this is way worse. This is way worse.
1:38:38 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:38:39 Bobby Lee? You ready?
1:38:40 Speaker 00 Together.
1:38:41 Bobby Lee? Together.
1:38:41 Speaker 00 Countdown.
1:38:42 Bobby Lee? One.
1:38:42 Speaker 03 Wait, wait, wait, I'm not ready.
1:38:44 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah.
1:38:46 Speaker 03 Wait, you put vinegar in here?
1:38:47 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:38:48 Bobby Lee? You already put vinegar in there.
1:38:49 Speaker 03 The flies are already coming.
1:38:50 Bobby Lee? I know, they love it, they all want it.
1:38:52 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:38:53 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:38:53 Speaker 00 Cheers?
1:38:54 Bobby Lee? Cheers. Cheers at first.
1:38:55 Speaker 03 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1:38:56 Bobby Lee? Wait, wait, what?
1:38:57 Speaker 04 You can slurp the...
1:38:59 Speaker 03 Slurp?
1:39:00 Speaker 04 The...
1:39:00 Speaker 00 Tell him to bite it first, just tell him to bite it.
1:39:01 Speaker 04 Okay, just bite it.
1:39:02 Speaker 03 Bite what? No.
1:39:03 Speaker 04 This.
1:39:04 Speaker 03 Bite this?
1:39:04 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:39:05 Speaker 00 It's egg yolk.
1:39:05 Bobby Lee? It's egg yolk.
1:39:06 Speaker 03 Fuck no.
1:39:07 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you're doing it.
1:39:08 Speaker 03 Wait, wait.
1:39:09 Speaker 04 See, I have the feathers here with me, and the eyes. You're fine.
1:39:13 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you don't have eyes.
1:39:14 Speaker 03 Wait, so just eat it like a soup, or like?
1:39:15 Speaker 04 Just bite, bite.
1:39:17 Speaker 03 Bite what?
1:39:17 Bobby Lee? You do it first Jules.
1:39:21 Speaker 00 It's easy.
1:39:22 Bobby Lee? Easy.
1:39:22 Speaker 00 Delicious.
1:39:23 Bobby Lee? Yeah, no, no, with your mouth, like that, no, like big chunk.
1:39:25 Speaker 03 There's an eggshell in here.
1:39:25 Bobby Lee? Yeah, yeah, no, that's a part of the... Go eat it.
1:39:29 Speaker 03 No, I'm not eating it.
1:39:30 Bobby Lee? Yeah, you eat it.
1:39:30 Speaker 00 Jaime.
1:39:31 Bobby Lee? Jaime, eat it.
1:39:32 Speaker 00 Bobby will fire you. He's told me this, behind the scenes.
1:39:36 Bobby Lee? Just try it.
1:39:39 Speaker 00 Five, four, three... Five?
1:39:41 Bobby Lee? Oh, let's go dude, I gotta go.
1:39:42 Speaker 00 You gotta go, he's late.
1:39:43 Bobby Lee? Let's go.
1:39:46 Speaker 00 Jaime.
1:39:47 Bobby Lee? Jaime, stop fucking around dude.
1:39:48 Speaker 04 Let's do it.
1:39:49 Bobby Lee? It's food.
1:39:50 Speaker 03 It's not food.
1:39:51 Bobby Lee? It is food, man.
1:39:58 Speaker 00 Go, go.
1:39:58 Bobby Lee? Go.
1:39:59 Speaker 00 Go, go. Jaime, Bobby's gotta go to the show.
1:40:02 Bobby Lee? I gotta go dude.
1:40:04 Speaker 03 I don't eat.
1:40:05 Speaker 00 Go, just go, big bite.
1:40:07 Bobby Lee? Kylie, Kylie Jenner, I gotta go.
1:40:11 Bobby Lee? Jaime, let's go.
1:40:12 Speaker 04 Just this one, the white one.
1:40:14 Speaker 00 It's egg yolk, go.
1:40:18 Speaker 00 Bite it.
1:40:19 Speaker 03 Bite.
1:40:19 Bobby Lee? Bite. You gotta bite!
1:40:21 Speaker 00 You gotta bite.
1:40:22 Bobby Lee? Jaime, come on, let's stop fucking around, let's go!
1:40:24 Speaker 00 Five, four, three...
1:40:26 Speaker 03 I'm gonna blow up on the studio.
1:40:27 Bobby Lee? What?
1:40:27 Speaker 00 Three, you're not going to.
1:40:29 Bobby Lee? No you're not.
1:40:29 Speaker 00 Bite fast and swallow fast.
1:40:35 Speaker 00 It's egg. It's egg.
1:40:41 Speaker 03 Big bite. Oh, no. Big bite.
1:40:42 Speaker 00 Big bite, go.
1:40:43 Bobby Lee? Big bite, big bite. Big bite, big bite. That's, yeah, don't put your fingers, what are you doing?
1:40:48 Speaker 00 Go, go.
1:40:49 Speaker 03 Big slurp. Yeah!
1:40:51 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:40:52 Speaker 00 It's not bad, right?
1:40:54 Speaker 04 See, look at mine. I already bit, like, the head of it.
1:40:59 Speaker 00 Describe it.
1:40:59 Bobby Lee? You're not a man, huh? Yeah. I hate it.
1:41:04 Speaker 03 I hate it.
1:41:07 Speaker 00 Alright, Jaime, tell the camera, or tell the mic, what did you think about it?
1:41:10 Bobby Lee? Yeah.
1:41:10 Speaker 03 I took a bite and...
1:41:12 Speaker 00 The mic, the mic.
1:41:14 Speaker 03 I took a bite the other day. It's not good.
1:41:19 Bobby Lee? What does it taste like?
1:41:20 Speaker 03 Nothing, no flavors.
1:41:22 Speaker 00 That's why it's not bad.
1:41:24 Speaker 03 But I can, I can smell the rawness.
1:41:27 Speaker 00 It's not raw.
1:41:29 Speaker 03 It is.
1:41:31 Speaker 04 You can try the soup thing.
1:41:32 Speaker 00 Drink the soup, it's easy to go, suck it.
1:41:34 Speaker 03 Suck it.
1:41:47 Speaker 04 Good!
1:41:51 Speaker 00 Why is he crying?
1:41:53 Speaker 03 That shit's nasty, I'm on it.
1:41:56 Bobby Lee? You did it, though.
Previous Brad Williams and The Low Five Next Amir K & The Most Intimidating Man in Comedy Page updated November 5, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated