Pete Holmes asks about inexplicable inexperiences

The hilarious Pete Holmes asks Handsome to share their most mystifying experiences! Plus senior drinks, Mae's caricature art, and a big Happy Birthday to Tig! Don't forget to get tickets to our May 4 Live Show in LA https://www.ticketmaster.com/netflix-is-a-joke-presents-handsome-los-angeles-california-05-04-2026/event/0900642CE31BB7C3! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:05Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

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• 0:53Fortune Feimster?

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• 1:26Mae Martin?

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• 1:48Fortune Feimster?

  Cheers. Welcome to the HandsomePod. I'm Fortune Feinster.

• 1:54Mae Martin?

  I'm Mae Martin.

• 1:56Tig Notaro?

  And I am Tig Notaro.

• 1:58Fortune Feimster?

  And it's Tig's birthday!

• 2:01Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh, 55.

• 2:04Fortune Feimster?

  55. Have baby.

• 2:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, double nickels. Finally, finally old enough to move into a retirement community.

• 2:16Fortune Feimster?

  Is this the age where you get sodas for cheaper?

• 2:20Mae Martin?

  Is that a thing?

• 2:22Fortune Feimster?

  In America, in America it is.

• 2:26Tig Notaro?

  What does that mean?

• 2:27Fortune Feimster?

  There's a at fast food restaurants, which I know you love.

• 2:32Tig Notaro?

  You know me, girl.

• 2:33Fortune Feimster?

  They, there's a senior drink.

• 2:36Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 2:37Fortune Feimster?

  You can order a senior drink and it's cheaper. And I think age might be 55, but I'm not sure.

• 2:46Mae Martin?

  Tig, you have to do that.

• 2:48Fortune Feimster?

  My mom orders them everywhere she goes. And I like a senior mellow yellow.

• 2:56Tig Notaro?

  That's so funny because I've, um, ever since I was like a young adult, I would say probably late teens, early twenties, um, uh, probably even beyond that. I would, anywhere I would go, like if I would go to be parking my car in a parking lot and paid parking lot. I'd always ask, you know, oh, and do you offer a senior discount? Or if I, if I, uh, or if I was like, you know, buying clothes at the mall or something. I'd be like, oh, and do you offer a senior discount? And they'd be like, uh, some people would be like, well, you're not a senior or who is this for? Or, and then most people would be like, I got you. That's funny. And then they give me the senior discount and I'd be like, thank you.

• 3:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. So I can't believe it now has caught up with me.

• 3:49Tig Notaro?

  That I can actually ask for a senior soda.

• 3:52Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna Google to see if there is an age for it.

• 3:57Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, that's Thomas's job to Google. He must Google our senior sodas.

• 4:03Fortune Feimster?

  When did the senior soda start?

• 4:07Mae Martin?

  Now you should start asking for the kid discount. Be like.

• 4:11Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:12Speaker 04

  I'm not seeing something specific. Oh, actually, oh, Wendy's, I think, um.

• 4:18Tig Notaro?

  Senior soda?

• 4:19Speaker 04

  Oh, some, some people are saying 60, some people are saying 55 plus. And you get a free senior beverage, which is a 15 ounce value cup of soda or a small coffee.

• 4:32Mae Martin?

  A free beverage, whoa. It's not even a discount.

• 4:36Tig Notaro?

  I know. I'm really gonna be able to, you know,

• 4:39Mae Martin?

  Live large.

• 4:39Tig Notaro?

  stash some cash away with all the money I'm saving on my senior soda.

• 4:44Fortune Feimster?

  Suddenly you start going to fast food restaurants for the first time in your life.

• 4:50Tig Notaro?

  No, I did go until I was about 19.

• 4:52Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, really? And then that was it? You're like, no mas?

• 4:55Tig Notaro?

  Well, you know, it's funny. I remember I was such a, and still am, this is no secret, big Indigo Girls fan.

• 5:03Mae Martin?

  Uh huh.

• 5:03Tig Notaro?

  And I remember them saying, one of them or both of them saying to, you know, boycott fast food. And I was like, will do. Never going again.

• 5:16Fortune Feimster?

  That was that.

• 5:17Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 5:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. And I just stuck with that. And then becoming vegan nearly 10 years ago, obviously.

• 5:24Fortune Feimster?

  That limits your options.

• 5:26Tig Notaro?

  Actually, I actually have gone on the road. Some of those places have had vegan burgers and I've stopped and gone there. Yeah, yeah. I stopped for a vegan burger once in the drive through of like, and maybe it was McDonald's or something where I, there was no food around. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna do this. It was good. And then like places like Chipotle, that's fast food. I go there.

• 5:50Mae Martin?

  We can't eat at Chipotle anymore.

• 5:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, no.

• 5:53Fortune Feimster?

  What happened?

• 5:54Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they're bad news.

• 5:56Fortune Feimster?

  Really?

• 5:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 5:57Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know what happened.

• 5:59Mae Martin?

  I think they're just funding all the, all the bad things.

• 6:01Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 6:02Mae Martin?

  But it's a shame. I love Chipotle, but.

• 6:04Tig Notaro?

  But they were, like, when I was on the road, um, looking for some grub. But now I have Happy Cow, which is the app that tells you where the nearest vegan food is to you.

• 6:14Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, Happy Cow.

• 6:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I love that app.

• 6:17Mae Martin?

  I am really struggling to eat normal food on the road. I'm here on my tour bus now and I, I'm like eating insane times, insane things. I'm, I feel insane.

• 6:28Tig Notaro?

  Well, let's, first of all, give us a peeksey of your bus.

• 6:34Fortune Feimster?

  You're on a bus right now.

• 6:34Tig Notaro?

  Tour us around.

• 6:36Mae Martin?

  Well, okay, um, there's somebody napping in the bunks, so I can't show you the bunks.

• 6:39Tig Notaro?

  What do you mean, somebody?

• 6:41Mae Martin?

  Some, well, you know. You know.

• 6:44Fortune Feimster?

  Some random. Do you have your own bedroom on this bus?

• 6:47Mae Martin?

  I do have my own bedroom, which makes me feel like such an asshole, but you, I felt like I was gonna sleep really well because I had a, I'm not in a bunk, I'm in a bedroom, but um, my head is like right on top of the engine of the bus. So it's like.

• 7:01Tig Notaro?

  Good sound effect, by the way.

• 7:05Fortune Feimster?

  Look at this fancy but auto.

• 7:06Tig Notaro?

  Oh, go to YouTube. Go directly to YouTube.

• 7:10Fortune Feimster?

  Takes favorite thing to say.

• 7:12Mae Martin?

  This is like the expanded version, like it, it shrinks down when we drive. So we got two TVs opposite each other there.

• 7:20Tig Notaro?

  Well, hold on Fortune, it's not my favorite thing to say. It's that there are things like May flexing and.

• 7:27Fortune Feimster?

  That need to be seen.

• 7:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that May is flexing in their tour bus. Like, why would you just, you want just audio of that?

• 7:35Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you need the visual.

• 7:38Tig Notaro?

  Okay, sorry to bother everyone. Don't go to YouTube and watch May flex on the tour bus.

• 7:45Fortune Feimster?

  I wasn't teasing you, I was celebrating you.

• 7:49Tig Notaro?

  And I wasn't being serious with you either. So we can drop the attitudes. What are you snacking on, Fortune?

• 7:58Fortune Feimster?

  Um, what? I might have brought beignets from set last night.

• 8:06Fortune Feimster?

  And so there are old beignets, but I don't care.

• 8:09Tig Notaro?

  Wait, are, are you in New Orleans?

• 8:11Fortune Feimster?

  No, I'm, we were filming nights this week, so.

• 8:15Tig Notaro?

  And they just have beignets on set?

• 8:17Fortune Feimster?

  We ordered a food truck for the crew.

• 8:19Tig Notaro?

  Oh, oh, oh.

• 8:20Fortune Feimster?

  So we ordered beignets and coffee last night because we filmed till almost five, four thirty in the morning.

• 8:25Tig Notaro?

  And you're no fools. How delicious are beignets?

• 8:28Mae Martin?

  I had one two days, two days ago, I was in New Orleans.

• 8:31Tig Notaro?

  Oh, is that your first beignet?

• 8:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah, my first beignet and, and I, uh, it's so crazy because you go to sleep on the bus and then you wake up and you're in like a completely different place, different temperature, everything different. And in New Orleans, we woke up like right by Bourbon Street, like just in the heart of everything. When I had a beignet, I went, I had, I went, saw jazz, I went to the Voodoo Museum.

• 8:53Tig Notaro?

  Where'd you get your beignet?

• 8:55Mae Martin?

  I want to say it was called the. Musical Legends Park.

• 9:01Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 9:01Mae Martin?

  But it was just a little courtyard and then it had a little, yeah, why, do you, do you know New Orleans? I went and I saw the Mississippi River. I couldn't believe it.

• 9:08Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's where it takes from.

• 9:10Tig Notaro?

  Um, my, my, uh, my great, great grandfather was the mayor of New Orleans.

• 9:15Mae Martin?

  Shut the front.

• 9:16Tig Notaro?

  My mother was born in New Orleans.

• 9:19Fortune Feimster?

  Calle de Mont is the famous beignet place.

• 9:22Mae Martin?

  Have we talked about the fact that your great, great grandfather was the mayor?

• 9:26Tig Notaro?

  I don't know.

• 9:27Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think we have.

• 9:28Mae Martin?

  That's crazy. Did you ever, did you ever meet him?

• 9:32Fortune Feimster?

  Did he used to walk around with the grenade drinks?

• 9:36Tig Notaro?

  Me?

• 9:37Fortune Feimster?

  Did he, did he invent those back in the day?

• 9:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's what my family is famous for. Now, I used to spend my summers in New Orleans, um, on St. Charles Avenue. That's where my grandmother, um, yeah.

• 9:50Mae Martin?

  What a party town.

• 9:52Tig Notaro?

  She lived next door to the, uh, Ponte Train Hotel and she had a.

• 9:56Fortune Feimster?

  Ponty Train?

• 9:57Tig Notaro?

  No, the Ponte Train, which is the, um.

• 10:00Fortune Feimster?

  Sound like Ponty Train.

• 10:02Tig Notaro?

  No, and then there's Lake Ponte Train, which is a gigantic body of water with a huge, you know, bridge that goes over it and, um, but she had a standing reservation at, um, the Ponte Train Hotel and that's where we would go eat every night was there.

• 10:20Mae Martin?

  Standing reservation is like, they just know that if you show up, you get a room?

• 10:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 10:25Mae Martin?

  Whoa, that's crazy.

• 10:27Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, whatever you want.

• 10:30Tig Notaro?

  May, May's like, you get a room? Oh, okay.

• 10:32Fortune Feimster?

  It's a cool, it's a cool city.

• 10:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 10:34Mae Martin?

  Oh, it's so.

• 10:35Tig Notaro?

  What about Magazine Street? Did you make it out to Magazine Street?

• 10:38Mae Martin?

  Didn't go to Magazine Street, but I went to like, I saw some jazz. I mean, I had such a short time, but.

• 10:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:45Mae Martin?

  The show, the audience was raucous and wild and fun.

• 10:48Fortune Feimster?

  Racist.

• 10:49Mae Martin?

  And then, yeah, we went up my, my tour manager had a gator po boy and it was crazy.

• 10:56Tig Notaro?

  Did you have some?

• 10:58Mae Martin?

  I didn't have a bite, actually. I was scared. I had a shrimp, a shrimp po boy. It was so good.

• 11:03Tig Notaro?

  Yummers.

• 11:04Mae Martin?

  It's been insane. The, the handsome listeners are out in full effect at these shows. The merch, the gear, the quotes.

• 11:11Tig Notaro?

  So how is it going? You had your fear, your concerns. You weren't going to sell tickets. Clearly it's off the hinges.

• 11:19Mae Martin?

  The, it's off the hinges. The tickets have been good and the, and it's been, it's been great. I just, I feel pretty nuts. I mean, I, from, from sleep, but in every city I'm doing something and tomorrow I convinced them to let me go to Disney. I mean, I feel like a child just asking my parents if I'm allowed to like, do fun stuff, but I'm going to go for like three hours to Disney and run around.

• 11:41Tig Notaro?

  Oh, because you're going to Orlando?

• 11:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm in Orlando tomorrow.

• 11:44Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God, you're driving. Right. You're on a bus.

• 11:48Mae Martin?

  So I've.

• 11:48Tig Notaro?

  And, and are you preferring, are you glad you're doing this as opposed to flying?

• 11:53Mae Martin?

  No, it's a terrible mistake.

• 11:56Tig Notaro?

  Oh, really?

• 11:57Mae Martin?

  I mean, I can't.

• 11:57Tig Notaro?

  Sounds like hell.

• 11:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I, I'm like just about settling into it, but the first few days I was like, how am I going to do this? Like, I, yeah, I just can't sleep and it's so claustrophobic.

• 12:09Tig Notaro?

  A bus tour is a lot for sure.

• 12:11Mae Martin?

  It's a lot.

• 12:11Tig Notaro?

  Especially for a little cowboy.

• 12:13Mae Martin?

  You know, I got a fragile constitution and.

• 12:16Tig Notaro?

  That's right. Constitution.

• 12:19Mae Martin?

  But the, the, the people at the shows have been so nice and, and, and just like you guys, I don't remember what we say on this podcast. So, like last night, this woman comes up in the meet and greet and she goes, she's holding a banana. She goes, I want you to fuck me with this banana. I said, excuse me?

• 12:40Mae Martin?

  And then she was like.

• 12:40Tig Notaro?

  Excuse me?

• 12:42Mae Martin?

  Mortified. Then she was like, well, that's on the podcast. That was the big joke. And I was like, I, I don't know. I don't remember that at all.

• 12:49Tig Notaro?

  I know, people contact me and or walk past me and say things. I don't know what anybody is referencing. And not just with the podcast. When I do stand up or like anything I say, like in an interview or something, I'm like, what, what did I, oh, okay.

• 13:07Mae Martin?

  I know, I know.

• 13:08Tig Notaro?

  That's an intense one to come up and say to you.

• 13:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 13:13Mae Martin?

  And, um, but the shows are fun because I do like 45 minutes of stand up, then the second half is all like improv and music and yeah, it's been.

• 13:22Tig Notaro?

  Hi.

• 13:22Mae Martin?

  And also just like, there's an added emotional depth to it right now, especially in Florida and like I'm going to Kansas and Minneapolis. Like people are really happy to be in like a safe space and with each other.

• 13:34Tig Notaro?

  I bet.

• 13:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's super nice. But strange, strange things are happening, of course, you know, like.

• 13:41Tig Notaro?

  Of course.

• 13:42Fortune Feimster?

  Little cowboys out in the world.

• 13:44Mae Martin?

  Oh, I mean, so many strange things are occurring. A day one, I found on the floor of a taxi, I found three sapphire blue dice. Can you imagine how much this spun me out? What does this mean?

• 14:01Fortune Feimster?

  I was like, I was like, if you just say something crazy, I was like, yeah.

• 14:05Tig Notaro?

  Almost like me finding out who May made out with in the car.

• 14:09Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:09Tig Notaro?

  It's like, all right, and then what?

• 14:12Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 14:13Mae Martin?

  Last night at the show, last time was Atlanta and at the show, they had all these security there and they give me these like.

• 14:19Tig Notaro?

  You went New Orleans, Atlanta, and then you're going down to Orlando?

• 14:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I went New Orleans, Atlanta, now I'm in Jacksonville.

• 14:28Fortune Feimster?

  It probably was like when the theaters were available.

• 14:31Tig Notaro?

  For sure, but I'm just, uh, like, wow.

• 14:34Fortune Feimster?

  It's just, you're just backtracking.

• 14:35Tig Notaro?

  Have you looked at a map?

• 14:37Mae Martin?

  No.

• 14:38Fortune Feimster?

  May knows nothing about this.

• 14:40Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 14:41Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 14:42Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, no, everything's fine. That's the perfect route to take. Anyway.

• 14:46Mae Martin?

  So I was like, you know, they give like a security briefing and everything. And then so during the show, this woman just comes to the front of the stage and I'm kind of looking around at security. Is anyone gonna, she's just kind of is in the middle of the show and she's just kind of on the front of the stage and everyone's like, what's happening? Then she pulls out these $1 bills and she starts slowly putting $1 bills on the stage like this.

• 15:09Tig Notaro?

  Wait, while you're doing stand up?

• 15:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah. So I stopped. I'm like, what's happening? Meanwhile, I'm like, does anyone know this woman? Like the security, security is just standing there like, then she and she.

• 15:21Tig Notaro?

  They've seen worse.

• 15:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, they've seen worse. She puts the money down and leaves. And then, um, it was very strange. Yeah.

• 15:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 15:29Mae Martin?

  Then in the meet and greet, like, she didn't have a meet and greet ticket, but I saw her come bud the line. No one asked her for a wristband. You know, and then she's like, hey, I'm the woman that put the dollar bills on the stage. I'm like, I know what the hell was that about?

• 15:42Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God.

• 15:44Tig Notaro?

  And did you find out? Or she just got whisked away?

• 15:48Mae Martin?

  No, nobody whisked her away. I mean, to her, to her credit, she goes, I don't know, I just wanted attention. And I was like, all right, that's pretty honest.

• 15:56Fortune Feimster?

  She's honest?

• 15:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's very honest. I think you need to have a conversation, though, with your security guards, that there should be some whisking away if somebody, and not to say this person was dangerous or anything, but.

• 16:10Mae Martin?

  No, she wasn't, but I was scared.

• 16:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, if people aren't following, you know, if somebody's coming up to the stage or they're like cut in line, like maybe step in.

• 16:20Mae Martin?

  A hundred percent. Yeah.

• 16:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:23Mae Martin?

  But I've been pulling an animal tarot card with the audience at the beginning of every show, like to.

• 16:28Tig Notaro?

  Of course you have.

• 16:29Mae Martin?

  To find like the energy of the show.

• 16:34Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God.

• 16:35Mae Martin?

  It's really funny when I do it.

• 16:36Fortune Feimster?

  This is a vibe check, y'all.

• 16:38Mae Martin?

  It's such a vibe check. And when I do it, I just see some people's eyes glaze over like, what if I come to?

• 16:47Tig Notaro?

  Can you imagine if I did a vibe check with tarot cards at the beginning?

• 16:53Fortune Feimster?

  We're gonna pull, we'll collectively pull a tarot card to see what the energy will be tonight in this room?

• 17:00Mae Martin?

  But then some people are like, oh, thank God. I thought you'd never pull a tarot card. Like they're excited.

• 17:05Fortune Feimster?

  They're waiting for it.

• 17:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:07Fortune Feimster?

  That's what they know that. That's what they're gonna get with Little Cowboy.

• 17:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:16Tig Notaro?

  Well, it sounds like it's going well.

• 17:18Mae Martin?

  It's super. I mean, what a-

• 17:19Tig Notaro?

  Even though you're not sleeping.

• 17:21Mae Martin?

  Aside from that, it's amazing.

• 17:23Tig Notaro?

  And people are paying you dollars at the stage. But yeah, you're having a good time.

• 17:29Fortune Feimster?

  Are you basically gone now the whole time? Or will you come back to LA periodically?

• 17:35Mae Martin?

  Like I come back for, I come back for 10 days and then I'm out pretty much till, till May. It's like, when do you get to have this type of experience though?

• 17:44Fortune Feimster?

  True, true. This is the time to do it.

• 17:47Mae Martin?

  All the weird local facts. Like everyone's giving me May facts. Like-

• 17:51Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, nice.

• 17:52Mae Martin?

  You know, dental floss was invented in New Orleans and, and 7-Eleven was invented in Dallas, you know?

• 17:59Tig Notaro?

  Invented?

• 18:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah. 7-Eleven was invented.

• 18:05Tig Notaro?

  Like there was a mad scientist.

• 18:07Fortune Feimster?

  We need a store that has everything all the time.

• 18:12Tig Notaro?

  Wasn't it supposed to be like opening at seven and closing at 11?

• 18:16Mae Martin?

  Oh, that makes so much sense. That never occurred to me. It used to be an ice store, but yeah, that makes sense. 7-Eleven.

• 18:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about 7-Eleven, but I, I do feel like I heard that.

• 18:29Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 18:31Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Why not? Tig fact?

• 18:34Mae Martin?

  So Tig, what are you gonna do for your birthday today? We don't-

• 18:37Tig Notaro?

  Oh, well, should we let people in on the fact that it's not actually my birthday?

• 18:42Fortune Feimster?

  We're typing just a few weeks ahead.

• 18:44Tig Notaro?

  And, and I know we talked recently that Fortune was upset that she hasn't ever made it to any of my big parties.

• 18:54Fortune Feimster?

  I know.

• 18:55Tig Notaro?

  And those are not ever gonna happen again.

• 18:57Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I was out. Every single one of your freaking parties I was on the road.

• 19:05Mae Martin?

  I want to throw you one.

• 19:07Tig Notaro?

  Okay, well, throw me a surprise party. Yeah, you'll know everyone to call, right?

• 19:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:15Mae Martin?

  Your cousin?

• 19:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, just my one cousin. And, but I don't know, I because let's be honest, this is 20 days ahead of my birthday that we're recording this.

• 19:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:27Tig Notaro?

  I honestly don't even know if I've won or lost an Oscar.

• 19:31Mae Martin?

  It's insane.

• 19:33Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I'm going to the Oscars too.

• 19:35Tig Notaro?

  Oh, you are?

• 19:36Mae Martin?

  You are?

• 19:36Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna, I'm going with Zootopia.

• 19:38Tig Notaro?

  Oh, amazing.

• 19:39Fortune Feimster?

  Yes.

• 19:40Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 19:41Fortune Feimster?

  So I'll be there, I'll be there rooting for you.

• 19:44Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I'll be rooting for you.

• 19:46Fortune Feimster?

  And us.

• 19:47Tig Notaro?

  And us, yes, all of us. But I would imagine I'll probably just have a chill dinner is the answer to that. Which has become my favorite thing is just

• 20:03Mae Martin?

  To really lounge over a leisurely meal with some good people, yeah.

• 20:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but like scaled down, scaled down, not like a dinner party.

• 20:13Mae Martin?

  Oh, okay, just basically Stephanie and the boys.

• 20:17Tig Notaro?

  No, maybe, maybe another couple. But who knows, I mean, sometimes also, I will have just had my eye surgery. Oh, yes, I've already had my eye surgery.

• 20:28Fortune Feimster?

  I've had my eye surgery, I'm doing fine.

• 20:31Tig Notaro?

  How dare you?

• 20:33Fortune Feimster?

  Everything worked out great, you guys.

• 20:37Tig Notaro?

  My nose is in the back of my head. Yeah, do I look any different with my eyes?

• 20:45Fortune Feimster?

  You're gorgeous.

• 20:47Tig Notaro?

  So, yeah, I've either won or lost an Oscar and I've had eye surgery so far. I'm four days into recovery. That was the thing about my birthday is I don't know how I'm going to be recovering or feeling after the surgery, so I don't have any. Very clear plans unless somebody wants to make me feel special and surprise me.

• 21:10Mae Martin?

  Do you, when you have like a birthday dinner, do you like it if other people make a toast about you? Or do you want to make your birthday toast or no toast?

• 21:19Tig Notaro?

  Um, gosh, I've never thought about that. And I, I like toasts. I like, I like really earnest moments.

• 21:31Mae Martin?

  Me too.

• 21:32Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I love them.

• 21:33Fortune Feimster?

  I like an earnest moment as well.

• 21:36Mae Martin?

  You do for a second?

• 21:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I'm into it.

• 21:38Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I, you know, I, maybe I've talked about it on the podcast, but like, I don't mind when they're like with special moments. Weddings and things, if there's funny stuff, like hints of it. But I really think it's so special when you really commit to the earnest moment and share like, I think this about you and I see this about you and I appreciate this about you.

• 22:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah, me too.

• 22:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I just think it's really nice to hear, especially as a comedian, people expect comedy from me. And I like to show that other side and also I'm open to receiving it.

• 22:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:26Tig Notaro?

  So what do you, what do you want to toast?

• 22:29Fortune Feimster?

  I do, I do think that's when our friendship was sort of cemented Tig was when we had that earnest dinner. That remember that?

• 22:38Mae Martin?

  Was earnest and?

• 22:40Fortune Feimster?

  Well, Tig and I had, had been around each other as comedians and friends of friends for a number of years. But everything was, you know, kind of surfaced like you are in LA when you don't really know somebody. And then we had this dinner with some mutual friends and I was, I think I had just been dumped by someone.

• 23:00Mae Martin?

  Right, I remember this.

• 23:01Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, and I was just like, I had this come to Jesus, like, I'm sad and I want to meet somebody. And, and everybody at the table was just like earnest back with me and we just had this like real meal and conversation. And after that, I think we were just like, oh, we're, we're, I know you, you know me.

• 23:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah. And then I bumped into you on that flight. And you had found somebody right after that dinner.

• 23:27Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 23:27Mae Martin?

  I love that.

• 23:29Tig Notaro?

  The rest is her story.

• 23:30Fortune Feimster?

  That was many, many moons ago.

• 23:32Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:34Fortune Feimster?

  Years and, God, that, yeah, because I met Jax a few months after that.

• 23:39Tig Notaro?

  But I do, I remember at that dinner being like, no way, man. It's gonna hap- like, nah, you gotta believe.

• 23:47Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 23:47Tig Notaro?

  Um, but, uh, yeah, so toast me.

• 23:51Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, the toast, May, go ahead.

• 23:53Tig Notaro?

  Go on.

• 23:54Mae Martin?

  Oh, boy.

• 23:54Fortune Feimster?

  Since you brought it up.

• 23:56Mae Martin?

  Okay, okay.

• 23:57Tig Notaro?

  Raise your glass.

• 23:58Mae Martin?

  Oh, boy, let me see what I can pull out of my ass. Okay.

• 24:03Tig Notaro?

  I mean, even if you pulled something out of your ass, I'd take that as a birthday.

• 24:07Fortune Feimster?

  That would be pretty cool, too.

• 24:08Tig Notaro?

  Especially if it was that bottle there.

• 24:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:10Tig Notaro?

  But anyway.

• 24:12Mae Martin?

  Okay, well, we're gathered here to celebrate a dear, dear friend of ours, you know.

• 24:19Fortune Feimster?

  You know.

• 24:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah. You know, um.

• 24:23Fortune Feimster?

  You know.

• 24:24Tig Notaro?

  No, I don't.

• 24:26Mae Martin?

  When I first, um, encountered Tig's work, uh, it, uh, I had that feeling that, that I would get along with this person, you know. I felt, I, I felt a connection even then, which is a rare quality for a performer to be able to reach through the, the screen and connect with people. Then to have the privilege of getting to know someone who is so endlessly curious about themself and others in the world, who really values, um, uh, personal growth and, uh, and wants to be a participant in life and relationships and family. Uh, yeah, what a, what a gift and, um, I'm eternally grateful and, uh, that's all for me.

• 25:12Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that is plenty. That is, thank you so much.

• 25:16Fortune Feimster?

  Cheers.

• 25:18Tig Notaro?

  Clank, clank.

• 25:19Mae Martin?

  Not a laugh in sight, not a laugh in sight.

• 25:22Tig Notaro?

  No, no.

• 25:22Fortune Feimster?

  Because it was so earnest.

• 25:24Tig Notaro?

  And that would be the perfect moment for a sound effect for our clank on handsome.

• 25:29Mae Martin?

  Clank.

• 25:31Tig Notaro?

  Fortune, you're next.

• 25:32Fortune Feimster?

  Mmm. I didn't think I was, I didn't think I was toasting.

• 25:36Tig Notaro?

  No, you're at the dinner party, too.

• 25:38Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, um, God, this is, uh.

• 25:43Fortune Feimster?

  This is a lot of pressure, you know, being around all of the hilarious people at this table. I did not prepare.

• 25:50Mae Martin?

  Who's at the table?

• 25:51Tig Notaro?

  It's just the three of us.

• 25:54Fortune Feimster?

  Was I wrong?

• 25:55Tig Notaro?

  No, Thomas is there too. And he's hilarious.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  But I'm like a butler.

• 25:59Fortune Feimster?

  My comment remains. Jennifer Ennisson is there. She has brought a Greek salad.

• 26:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, of course. Yeah.

• 26:08Fortune Feimster?

  And do you want, well Stephanie's there, right? I'm assuming Stephanie's there.

• 26:14Tig Notaro?

  She was able to make it.

• 26:15Fortune Feimster?

  Stephanie's there. Sarah Paulson, someone like that.

• 26:20Tig Notaro?

  Listen, now we're going real wide. Okay. Okay. It's, it's just my core people.

• 26:25Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, your core, your core, your core whores.

• 26:30Tig Notaro?

  Is that a saying?

• 26:31Fortune Feimster?

  No, I just, it rhymes. So I said, wow.

• 26:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Okay. We have to like have a group of people that buy the core whores.

• 26:40Fortune Feimster?

  Core whores.

• 26:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you have to buy.

• 26:42Mae Martin?

  It's a tier of.

• 26:45Tig Notaro?

  Well, you buy the core whore package and you tell us how many shirts you want. Anyway, or hats. Okay.

• 26:51Fortune Feimster?

  I did not come here with anything prepared. Cause it's honestly hard to put into words. How I feel about the person sitting across from me.

• 27:06Tig Notaro?

  Is that where I am?

• 27:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you're probably across from me. Stephanie's sitting beside you. Cause it's a small table. We're core whores.

• 27:13Mae Martin?

  I'm at the kitty table next door.

• 27:16Fortune Feimster?

  And that person that we're here to honor and celebrate is our dear friend Tig Notaro. Someone who has faced things in life that many of us can only imagine. The amount of grit and strength that it took to overcome these challenges in life. As someone who took those challenges and.

• 27:46Fortune Feimster?

  Dug in deeper to create a life for herself that she could not have ever imagined that it could be this good. Someone who has had perseverance in a way none of us can understand, but who loves and appreciates life as a result. That every single day that Tig celebrates her life, she knows is a blessing. And we are blessed to share that life with her.

• 28:22Tig Notaro?

  Oh wow.

• 28:24Fortune Feimster?

  Tig Katara, cheers.

• 28:27Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 28:28Mae Martin?

  You really understood the brief there. The brief was no laughs, deeply earnest.

• 28:34Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 28:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I'll see it at the Oscars.

• 28:39Tig Notaro?

  Yes, you will. For that speech, my goodness. I think that needs to be a tradition that we

• 28:46Fortune Feimster?

  On our birthdays? I liked that.

• 28:49Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I do too. I like it.

• 28:51Mae Martin?

  Who's next?

• 28:52Fortune Feimster?

  I had a lot more I could say, but you were, you know.

• 28:54Tig Notaro?

  Oh, do go on.

• 28:57Fortune Feimster?

  I wrapped up it pretty well, but you were ready to clank, so.

• 29:01Tig Notaro?

  Well, I was trying to, you know, add some comedy to the drama.

• 29:05Fortune Feimster?

  You were leaning away from the earnest.

• 29:08Tig Notaro?

  I know, I know.

• 29:09Fortune Feimster?

  But that's all right.

• 29:10Tig Notaro?

  That's okay.

• 29:12Fortune Feimster?

  We landed the plane, no matter what.

• 29:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we did.

• 29:15Mae Martin?

  My most earnest friend is with me on this tour, Matt, who lives in my back house. And it's such a joy. I'm like, this is why I brought him. Cause every morning he's like, you know, buddy, we gotta be grateful. This is really, what an amazing experience like to wake up in the city. It's so nice to have someone just to remind you.

• 29:31Tig Notaro?

  That's really nice.

• 29:33Mae Martin?

  Like two Canadian kids who are like.

• 29:35Fortune Feimster?

  Well, you definitely want that as opposed to someone who's like, ugh, another day, another city. You definitely want someone who's finding the joy in it.

• 29:43Mae Martin?

  You know, it was nice. I saw my grade 10 boyfriend yesterday in Atlanta who I hadn't seen

• 29:49Tig Notaro?

  Waka, waka, waka.

• 29:51Mae Martin?

  I haven't seen him since I was 15. No, it was Devon Bambrick and I haven't Seen him since I was 15 years old and I met up with him. He's got a baby and a wife in Atlanta. And the thing that made me feel so nice was he goes, the first thing I remember about you is that the first thing you said to me when you were 14 and showed up at the school is that you were gonna be a comedian.

• 30:12Tig Notaro?

  Like, what an annoying kid, but also that's so nice, like that. Yeah, waka waka, waka waka waka. Now, let me ask you something. So your friend is on tour with you just to be a positive supportive. Pal.

• 30:28Mae Martin?

  No, he's doing improv with me. So I do stand up. Then I do a little improv.

• 30:32Tig Notaro?

  And it's just the two of you doing it?

• 30:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, based on audience questions. But the audiences, they're horn dogs. They just want to see me kiss anyone. So they're trying to get me and Matt to kiss every night. We've kissed every night.

• 30:45Fortune Feimster?

  Your particular fans are very horny for you.

• 30:49Tig Notaro?

  Let me ask you something. When you're kissing your friend, is there a tongue?

• 30:54Mae Martin?

  No, it's like.

• 30:55Fortune Feimster?

  No, you can't kiss your friend with tongue.

• 30:57Tig Notaro?

  I don't know what May is up to.

• 31:00Mae Martin?

  It's in the.

• 31:01Tig Notaro?

  Fortune Marie. No ma'am.

• 31:06Fortune Feimster?

  Does anyone kiss like that?

• 31:09Mae Martin?

  I bet, I bet they do.

• 31:12Tig Notaro?

  There's gotta be one person that does.

• 31:14Mae Martin?

  And they, they make the noise too.

• 31:16Fortune Feimster?

  With them being so horny, are you getting hit on?

• 31:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it's like a little, you hate horny?

• 31:24Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, you hate the word horny?

• 31:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 31:27Mae Martin?

  We never knew this till now.

• 31:28Fortune Feimster?

  We've said it a lot. Well, I finally thought it was time that you know.

• 31:34Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 31:36Fortune Feimster?

  Well, we'll never stop using it.

• 31:37Tig Notaro?

  I know you won't. I know you won't.

• 31:46Fortune Feimster?

  Have you been getting hit on?

• 31:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I mean, people are like, there's like a. People are intense, I'll say, like, I'm flattered and people are super nice. But it is, it is sometimes like a bit of a double standard gender wise, where I'm like, if you were a guy saying this to me, I would be

• 32:06Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 32:07Mae Martin?

  So alarmed, you know, and

• 32:10Tig Notaro?

  Would you prefer that it not be a part of your interactions with people at all? Um, or are you like, it's wild, but it's fine?

• 32:19Mae Martin?

  I mean, I like that there's like an excitement and that people, but sometimes it's so like explicit that I'm like, I, and I'm such a people pleaser that I, I sometimes have, like, I had one regret that someone came up at the meet and greet with, and we chatted and blah, blah, blah. And then they said, can you sign this? And I signed it kind of as I was taking in what it was. And it was, it looks like a legal document that said, this entitles the person to sleep with Mae Martin, like Mae Martin's the hall pass. Like, anyone holding this can, can fuck maybe, basically. And I was, afterwards, I was like,

• 32:54Fortune Feimster?

  That is weird.

• 32:55Mae Martin?

  I was like, why did I sign that? Like, that, I don't know.

• 32:58Tig Notaro?

  Well, I'm surprised my document made it to you.

• 33:01Fortune Feimster?

  A legal one, too.

• 33:02Tig Notaro?

  Yes, that, wow, that's really

• 33:04Fortune Feimster?

  Getting it notarized.

• 33:06Tig Notaro?

  You bet I am.

• 33:07Fortune Feimster?

  That is, um, that is wild.

• 33:10Mae Martin?

  But then you don't want to like, um, I never want to be like, oh, that's a bit much. Cause they've driven hours to come to the show and they're so sweet.

• 33:17Fortune Feimster?

  To get this legal document signed.

• 33:19Mae Martin?

  They're excited.

• 33:20Tig Notaro?

  That doesn't give, just because they drove a long way, doesn't mean

• 33:29Fortune Feimster?

  I've never been a piece of meat, so I don't know what this feels like.

• 33:33Tig Notaro?

  Oh, please. You are a, yes, you're a prime cut.

• 33:38Fortune Feimster?

  I'm a pretty little lady.

• 33:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. No, no, no, you're a hot piece of ass.

• 33:46Fortune Feimster?

  I'm not signing any sex document.

• 33:53Fortune Feimster?

  Well, May, it sounds like you're

• 33:54Tig Notaro?

  Meanwhile, I'm a senior citizen.

• 34:00Fortune Feimster?

  Things that Wendy's getting that free drink. I'm just being demure and you're just signing sex documents.

• 34:07Tig Notaro?

  What a life. You're contractually bound to have sex with all these strangers. What a podcast.

• 34:14Fortune Feimster?

  Well, should we get to our question?

• 34:16Tig Notaro?

  Yes, indeed.

• 34:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yes. Today's question asker is an actor, comedian, and podcast host who wrote and starred in the HBO show Crashing. His podcast, You Made It Weird, has been running for 15 years, and his stand-up specials include Dirty Clean, I Am Not For Everyone, and his new special, Silly, Silly Fun Boy, is out today, and you can watch it on YouTube. Pete Holmes is asking today's question.

• 34:47Tig Notaro?

  Of course, his special is Silly, Silly Fun Boy.

• 34:50Fortune Feimster?

  We were all supposed to do his podcast together. It was the first time we were booked as a trio on someone's podcast. I think you forgot about it?

• 35:01Tig Notaro?

  I know. Don't try and make me. Yeah, I think I was at the doctor. That's also, when you get to this age, it's a full-time job to go to the doctor, by the way.

• 35:10Fortune Feimster?

  And then May and I, for the first like 20 minutes of the pod, are us going, I wonder if Tig's coming. So we finally like realized you were not.

• 35:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, my apologies.

• 35:20Fortune Feimster?

  It's all right.

• 35:22Tig Notaro?

  We're all together now, forever, until April, at least. All right, let's hear what he's got to say.

• 35:29Speaker 05

  Hi, handsome people. It's Pete Holmes. Thanks for including me. I love your pod. Valerie loves your pod. Look, she's wearing the little cowboy. Hey, little cowboy.

• 35:40Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah, Pete did tell me that.

• 35:42Speaker 05

  I'm kidding. We're fans. And my question is, could you share something that happened that was just completely inexplicable? Like, maybe a psychic, maybe a UFO, maybe a ghost? Yes, this is something I ask on my own podcast, but it's my favorite question, and I'd really love to hear the answer.

• 36:06Fortune Feimster?

  Hmm.

• 36:07Mae Martin?

  I love it. I mean, I love a lot of what Pete's into. Like, I'm similar. Like, I think when we did his podcast, did we test where you have to close your eyes and then guess if someone's staring at you?

• 36:18Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh.

• 36:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you two seem like, uh, perfect matches.

• 36:22Mae Martin?

  Anytime we bump into each other out and about, within 20 seconds, it's like, is there life after death?

• 36:28Tig Notaro?

  Conversation circus starts.

• 36:30Fortune Feimster?

  Silly, silly fun boys.

• 36:31Mae Martin?

  Yes, yeah, yeah. Some of these things we've talked about on, on the pod, I, I'm always like, what's interesting to me about inexplicable things is like, in the future, are we gonna find out that it's scientifically explicable? You know, like the things that they would have thought were miracles 100 years ago, that now science is like, oh no, that's a thing, you know?

• 36:55Tig Notaro?

  Hmm.

• 36:57Mae Martin?

  Like that we have a bio electromagnetic field, like we have an aura that, I don't know what I'm talking about.

• 37:06Tig Notaro?

  No, that feels like a conversation for you and Pete.

• 37:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:15Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, man, I'm trying to think of one stands out. Do you have, does anyone have one off the top of their dome?

• 37:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah, well, the psychic who's-

• 37:23Tig Notaro?

  Careful, May. Oh, my God, go to YouTube. Go to YouTube. May's earbud flew out.

• 37:29Mae Martin?

  Flew out. That was inexplicable.

• 37:31Tig Notaro?

  That was inexplicable.

• 37:32Mae Martin?

  The psychic whose face melted recently, um, that I talked about on, I talked about on the pod, and it was a psychic-

• 37:40Tig Notaro?

  Was I there?

• 37:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. Psychic I saw in Toronto, and her face shifted into a different face.

• 37:48Tig Notaro?

  Oh, right, yeah.

• 37:49Fortune Feimster?

  She told me, like, this can happen, and then it did.

• 37:52Mae Martin?

  Yes, and then the one that I've also maybe talked about is when I manifested, my friend David in Nepal, like, wrote his name down, he just came into my mind so clearly. I was up in the Himalayas, and there was a hut where you could, like, send positive wishes to friends or whatever, and all these travelers had stuck it on the wall, and I, so clearly in my head, thought, David Martin, I wrote it down. Once, then I wrote it again on the back, stuck it down. Not two days later, I'm walking down the street, and Kathmandu, Nepal, there he is, walking towards me. This is my, my- You know, he'd been my coke dealer in high school. I haven't seen him in years.

• 38:31Fortune Feimster?

  So a dear friend.

• 38:33Mae Martin?

  No, he was a dear friend. And then, and then we like.

• 38:37Tig Notaro?

  Can we call him Cat Man Dude?

• 38:39Fortune Feimster?

  Cat Man Dude. No longer selling coke, right?

• 38:42Mae Martin?

  No, he was sober. He was with his mom. He was like, and we spent the night that night just talking and talking. But yeah, that felt really like I'd magnetized him or he'd magnetized me. Yeah, that was very weird. Yeah. What about you?

• 38:56Fortune Feimster?

  I've talked about it on the pod before, but my mom always had the most inexplicable thing happen on the way for me being born, where she, I'll tell it very briefly.

• 39:11Tig Notaro?

  You tell this all the time, except not on this show?

• 39:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I don't think I've heard this.

• 39:16Fortune Feimster?

  You really?

• 39:17Tig Notaro?

  I don't know.

• 39:18Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. Well, okay, then I'll tell, I'll tell it. And if I, this is, it's a repeat that my co-hosts don't remember it. So it doesn't matter. My mom wanted a girl so bad. She had two boys, but this was like back when you didn't know the sex of your baby until your baby was born. And it was when you stayed in the hospital for a lot longer, pre and post birth. And when my mom was in the hospital about to have me, all the nurses were trying to guess what my sex was. Based on, you know, their experience. And they said, based on my heartbeat, I was either going to be a, a, a boy or a lazy girl.

• 40:00Tig Notaro?

  Maybe you have mentioned this.

• 40:02Fortune Feimster?

  I was like so chill. And, but my mom was like, but I knew in my heart of hearts, she loves to say this, I love it when my mom tells this story. But, um, she's like, I knew in my heart of hearts, you were a girl. And even though everybody was like, this is, you're having another boy, you're having another boy. And she said, as they willed her out to have me, this, this woman appeared out of nowhere. I, I say Dela Reese jokingly, but she describes this person in a way that's very similar to Dela Reese in Touch My Angel.

• 40:37Fortune Feimster?

  But this nurse appears out of nowhere. She's never seen her and she'd been there for a few days. And she goes, I will see you and your 10 pound baby after you give our baby girl. You I'll see you and your 10 pound baby girl after you give birth. And she said, I can't explain it. This nurse looked in my eyes in a way that was like, she's like, I knew it. I knew she was right. And that it felt very like otherworldly. And she gave birth to me. I was a girl. I was 10 pounds or 10 and a half pounds, whatever it was. And, um, and she was in the hot. I had a few things that required me to stay in the hospital for like another like six days or five days.

• 41:21Tig Notaro?

  Laziness.

• 41:21Fortune Feimster?

  Laziness.

• 41:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 41:23Fortune Feimster?

  And she never saw the nurse again.

• 41:25Mae Martin?

  Whoa.

• 41:27Fortune Feimster?

  And she asked around about this person. And they're like,

• 41:30Mae Martin?

  She isn't working here.

• 41:31Fortune Feimster?

  What are you talking about?

• 41:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah, she died 20 years ago.

• 41:34Tig Notaro?

  Were they like, oh, Deloris worked here, but she left for vacation?

• 41:39Fortune Feimster?

  I like to say I was ushered into the world by an angel.

• 41:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I'll see you and your 10 pound baby girl is such a big swing. If you're just guessing, like that is such a like, it feels like she knew that woman knew.

• 41:54Fortune Feimster?

  And when my mom tells it, she takes pause it. She's very dramatic. It's a lot more, you feel when my mom tells you the story, you're like, yes, origin was ushered in by an angel. When I tell her it's not, it doesn't have the same effect. My mom gets very dramatic.

• 42:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 42:09Fortune Feimster?

  Into telling this story.

• 42:10Tig Notaro?

  Classic ginger, just dramatic.

• 42:13Fortune Feimster?

  Dramatic. Taking a lot of creative liberties. But yeah, she was like, she is convinced that this was an angel of some sorts.

• 42:22Mae Martin?

  So am I.

• 42:23Tig Notaro?

  That's great.

• 42:24Fortune Feimster?

  So.

• 42:25Mae Martin?

  Convinced.

• 42:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. So I that didn't happen. It's technically happened about me, not to me. But, um, my mom's had several of those.

• 42:33Mae Martin?

  You were there. You were present.

• 42:34Fortune Feimster?

  Kind of thing. I was there. It was about me. Deloris brought me into the world. Um, but I mean, you know, as far as ghosts and stuff.

• 42:41Tig Notaro?

  And she'll, she can take you right out of it, too.

• 42:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah. If you see her, you know, you're in trouble.

• 42:48Fortune Feimster?

  I'm not had like, I, I think ghost wise, I always say like, some people are susceptible to it and some aren't. I'm not really susceptible to it. The only time I experienced anything that was like tangible was in the rental house. I had my first season of Food Bar in Toronto. I saw a shadow walk into a room as I was coming up the stairs that I thought it was Jax. And I went into the room and, and she wasn't in it. And I was like, Jax? And she was upstairs. And I was like, were, were you just downstairs? She's like, no. And I was like, oh, that's so weird. Cause it was like the, the, the height of a person walking into the room.

• 43:31Mae Martin?

  Did you move like Airbnb?

• 43:33Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, no. No, but, but that, but later that night we were on the couch and I felt a draft go over my arms to the point. I looked up to see where the air conditioner register was and there was none, none near me.

• 43:47Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 43:48Fortune Feimster?

  And then I never experienced anything again, the rest of my four months there.

• 43:53Mae Martin?

  Wow, I like that.

• 43:55Tig Notaro?

  My god. Inexplicable, you guys.

• 43:59Fortune Feimster?

  God. It was Dela Reese checking on me, see if I was lazy.

• 44:05Mae Martin?

  I mean, my, my, my grandma, I've, I've said this before too, but we don't remember anything.

• 44:11Tig Notaro?

  Let's hear it again. Let's hear it again.

• 44:13Mae Martin?

  Well, just that my grandma went to a psychic. Um, and she wanted to contact her boyfriend who'd passed away, I think. And she, and it was a psychic who didn't charge money. It was like the Chelsea Psychic Society. And, um, the psychic said, your father's come through. And she said, well, I didn't really have a relationship with my father. I, he died when I was really little. I don't, I, I kind of am here to talk to someone else. And the psychic said, well, sorry, your dad is here and he wants to say he's sorry he yelled at you for brushing the fabric on his top hat the wrong way. And that she's like, that's my only memory of my father.

• 44:47Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wow.

• 44:48Mae Martin?

  Like, what the hell?

• 44:50Fortune Feimster?

  That's crazy. I love stuff like that.

• 44:52Mae Martin?

  Me, too.

• 44:53Fortune Feimster?

  This isn't inexplicable, but what is, because I think it's just based on a soul connection. But I like when my grandmother passed, I felt it happen. And I looked at my watch, so I knew exactly when it happened. And I called her house and my dad picked up the phone and was like, oh, can we call you back? And he called me back a couple of months later. He's like, I didn't know what to say to you. Your grandmother, like, literally just passed.

• 45:19Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 45:21Fortune Feimster?

  But I've never had that before. I don't, I think, well, obviously, that's not some experience with a bunch of people. But, yeah, I've never felt anything like that ever. Where I just, like, I was sitting in my bed at college and I was like, my grandmother just died.

• 45:36Mae Martin?

  We're gonna find out one day, like, that all of this metaphysical stuff is real. Like, that you are connected to your loved ones and can sort of, like, quantum entanglement, right? Like, if, like, a particle in a different-

• 45:49Tig Notaro?

  Am I right, guys? Quantum entanglement. Hey, ladies!

• 45:53Mae Martin?

  That's a real thing, that you can, you know, a particle can remotely affect another particle. And, like, they measured the brainwaves of a mother and her daughter. And they were in separate rooms, meditating. And in the room with the daughter, they were flashing the lights. And so the daughter's brainwaves were spiking and the mother's brainwaves were doing the same spikes, even though they, so like, you know, you know.

• 46:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 46:19Fortune Feimster?

  What about you, Tiglet?

• 46:20Tig Notaro?

  Don't have anything.

• 46:22Mae Martin?

  Tiglet!

• 46:22Fortune Feimster?

  That's not true.

• 46:24Mae Martin?

  I feel like with Andrea, there's been things around, around that that have felt very serendipitous and straight, like that busker playing the song.

• 46:34Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:35Mae Martin?

  I mean, so many things like that, yeah.

• 46:37Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 46:39Mae Martin?

  But I guess that's explicable. You're like, well, that's Andrea.

• 46:42Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, I can share that. But what I was gonna talk about, which I've probably already said, and, you know, going to the hospital to get Max and Finn. When I went to fill up the car, I think I've shared.

• 46:59Mae Martin?

  No, go on.

• 47:00Tig Notaro?

  The car that was parked in front of me, filling up their tank.

• 47:07Tig Notaro?

  I put the gas, um, whatever, the handle in the gas tank and then went and sat in the, um, in the van, uh, waiting for it to fill up because it was fully on empty and, um, and the car that was parked right in front of me, also filling their car up, had a sticker across, across the back window that said Finn Max.

• 47:34Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wow.

• 47:34Tig Notaro?

  That is for me. Yeah. I, I thought I was hallucinating and I was like, what? And this was like the day they were born. And so I look it up and it's a production company. Finn Max Productions.

• 47:47Mae Martin?

  What? That's crazy.

• 47:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Oh, that's what it said. Finn Max Productions. And I was sitting there going, uh, Thomas, will you look that up and see what shows they do? But it was just outrage. I've never seen it since. I never, nothing, like, never heard of this production company. I feel like they've done really big things.

• 48:08Mae Martin?

  And you, you already had their names? Like, so?

• 48:11Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Yeah. Already have the names.

• 48:13Mae Martin?

  That is mind blowing. That's crazy.

• 48:15Tig Notaro?

  Did anything come up with Finn Max Productions?

• 48:18Speaker 04

  Possibly Shark Tank?

• 48:20Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 48:21Mae Martin?

  Yo.

• 48:22Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 48:22Mae Martin?

  That's mega.

• 48:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 48:24Mae Martin?

  That's huge.

• 48:25Tig Notaro?

  But I was truly like, my eyeballs, like a cartoon were like, boing, boing, boing. Um, so that was a really bizarre moment. I guess I thought I shared that with you, but I didn't. But, um, that was inexplicable.

• 48:39Mae Martin?

  You know, my, my bus driver, um, is called Jeff and he has an identical twin called Jay and he, who's also a bus driver. And I keep imagining, what if they swap out or something? And I'm like, should I, like, maybe I should plant things with Jeff that only Jeff would know and then I can test and make sure it's still Jeff. But I just started it because of the twin.

• 49:00Tig Notaro?

  That's a smart thing to do.

• 49:01Fortune Feimster?

  Would it matter who's driving?

• 49:05Tig Notaro?

  Of course.

• 49:06Fortune Feimster?

  You might, you might like his brother just as much as well.

• 49:09Mae Martin?

  That's true. He said that he's gonna wake me up super early, like in the middle of the night tomorrow to see the sunrise going into Orlando, apparently.

• 49:16Tig Notaro?

  No, thank you.

• 49:19Fortune Feimster?

  You know.

• 49:20Mae Martin?

  I mean, you're right.

• 49:21Fortune Feimster?

  I bet that's something I'm gonna let you experience.

• 49:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah, you're right. I might have to.

• 49:27Fortune Feimster?

  If you wake up naturally and you get to see it, great.

• 49:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 49:31Tig Notaro?

  So Fortune, you're not gonna do well when we have our wellness getaway weekend.

• 49:36Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 49:36Tig Notaro?

  Cause you're gonna have to get up early, watch the sunrise.

• 49:40Fortune Feimster?

  And drink green juice.

• 49:41Tig Notaro?

  Meditate.

• 49:42Mae Martin?

  Tig, you know me, I'm gonna be weeping. I'm gonna be journaling.

• 49:47Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I'll be, I will be earnest during this because I know it means a lot to the two of you. So I will participate. I will not be a, I, I'm not a, um.

• 50:00Tig Notaro?

  Buzzkill.

• 50:00Fortune Feimster?

  Buzzkill. Yes. I, I can adapt to the environment I'm in.

• 50:05Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Good to know.

• 50:07Fortune Feimster?

  But, you know, it will be, I, I, yeah.

• 50:10Tig Notaro?

  You're still gonna find a way to ruin it. I can, I can read between the lines.

• 50:14Fortune Feimster?

  I'm good at, I'm good at digging in.

• 50:17Tig Notaro?

  All right.

• 50:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 50:18Tig Notaro?

  I truly cannot wait. And I know that you prob, we probably won't find a time to do it, but it.

• 50:25Mae Martin?

  I'm throwing, I'm gonna start throwing some dates out for like June, July.

• 50:29Tig Notaro?

  No, you won't.

• 50:29Mae Martin?

  I will.

• 50:32Mae Martin?

  Don't test me because I will. And then you're gonna be like, oh God, I have to do this now?

• 50:36Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my God.

• 50:38Tig Notaro?

  Should we see what Pete has to say?

• 50:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:41Speaker 05

  Okay, my answer is I talked to a psychic on the phone. Val knows this story. And I wanted to know about this relationship that I was in. I was kinda struggling in the relationship. Didn't have anything, this is important, didn't have anything about that relationship on Facebook or Instagram or anything. It was over the phone. I also think it's important to note, I wasn't like a, really a public person at that time. And we spoke and immediately this person intuited, she's like, you wanna talk about your relationship? And I was like, yes. And then my nickname for this girlfriend was Boog. As in Booger. You have something?

• 51:25Mae Martin?

  A second.

• 51:30Tig Notaro?

  That we've never had this happen.

• 51:31Speaker 05

  That we have whenever we mention an ex, we go, can I talk to you for a second? So this girl, I called her Boog and she called me Boog, short for Booger.

• 51:42Speaker 05

  So she said, you want to talk about relationships? And I said, yes. And she, the first thing she said was, who's Boog?

• 51:50Tig Notaro?

  What?

• 51:51Speaker 05

  That is just like paradigm shifting weird.

• 51:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I kind of think he's lying.

• 51:57Speaker 05

  Everybody that I've mentioned this to is like, oh, you probably put it on social. I'm not like that. I'm, I've never been like that. I do not post, I don't, I don't talk about nicknames, pet names. It was completely mind blowing.

• 52:11Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 52:13Fortune Feimster?

  She was probably also like, and why do you have a nickname of Booger for your girlfriend?

• 52:18Mae Martin?

  She's like, this seems like it's on the rocks.

• 52:21Fortune Feimster?

  This is not gonna last.

• 52:22Tig Notaro?

  Maybe she high tailed it out of town, looking for someone to rename her something.

• 52:27Fortune Feimster?

  You cannot have her nickname be Boog.

• 52:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 52:30Fortune Feimster?

  I would be like, timeout.

• 52:32Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'm looking for something a little less disgusting.

• 52:37Mae Martin?

  That's cool.

• 52:38Fortune Feimster?

  I wonder, I would have a follow up for Pete if he has remained calling that psychic. Cause that seems pretty proficient psychic.

• 52:48Mae Martin?

  If you find, you find a good one, I think, yeah, you should stick with it.

• 52:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 52:53Tig Notaro?

  Don't let it go.

• 52:55Mae Martin?

  Never let go.

• 52:56Fortune Feimster?

  Don't let that psychic go, friend.

• 52:58Tig Notaro?

  Don't, don't do it.

• 52:59Fortune Feimster?

  I do enjoy a, a check in with a psychic every now and then. I love it when someone tells me, ah, you gotta talk to this person.

• 53:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 53:08Fortune Feimster?

  Their reading was like so spot on. I'm like, then I'm like, oh, I wanna, I wanna talk to that person.

• 53:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 53:15Mae Martin?

  Like the, there's a guy in LA, the coffee grounds guy. He reads coffee grounds, like a Turkish coffee. And it's a really specific medium and, and a lot, a lot of people have recommended him to me. I want to go see him. He, Parv saw him and he was, yeah, very accurate.

• 53:34Tig Notaro?

  I would like to start a business where I do it and just try my best.

• 53:39Mae Martin?

  Oh my god, that would be great.

• 53:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, Tig reads broccoli stems.

• 53:45Fortune Feimster?

  There you go.

• 53:45Tig Notaro?

  So you bring a broccoli stem in and then she will just tell you what is up.

• 53:51Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 53:51Tig Notaro?

  I've also wanted to, actually speaking of New Orleans, I've always wanted to put up an easel and just

• 53:58Mae Martin?

  I got a caricature. I got one done.

• 54:01Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 54:02Mae Martin?

  Oh shit, where is it?

• 54:03Tig Notaro?

  Okay, well, it's not unusual. You were in New Orleans, but I've wanted to to start my own caricature business or even just portraits and then just try my best.

• 54:16Fortune Feimster?

  I love it.

• 54:16Tig Notaro?

  And then people are disappointed. I'm like, I didn't say I was good.

• 54:22Tig Notaro?

  Look at those biceps.

• 54:25Mae Martin?

  Thank you. I'm trying to stay.

• 54:27Tig Notaro?

  Okay, don't go to YouTube. Don't go to YouTube.

• 54:30Fortune Feimster?

  Oh man.

• 54:32Mae Martin?

  I'm trying to stay fit on the bus.

• 54:33Fortune Feimster?

  Sexy.

• 54:34Tig Notaro?

  It's working.

• 54:35Fortune Feimster?

  It sure is.

• 54:37Tig Notaro?

  That's good.

• 54:39Mae Martin?

  You like that?

• 54:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I really like the mustache too.

• 54:43Mae Martin?

  Is there a mustache?

• 54:45Fortune Feimster?

  Caricature caricatures of me are so wildly offensive.

• 54:51Fortune Feimster?

  They are the war. Anybody who, okay, anyone who's ever been like, I drew you. I'm like, no, thank you.

• 55:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I don't need to see it.

• 55:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. It's not, it is, I already have a big, I know I have a big chubby cheek face, but they like take this and they run with it.

• 55:11Tig Notaro?

  What do they do with your hair is my question.

• 55:14Fortune Feimster?

  It's usually wildly insane too.

• 55:16Tig Notaro?

  Like a bird's nest?

• 55:18Fortune Feimster?

  There has not been one drawing of me or caricature or anything that has been flattering. It is every time I see it, I'm like, huh.

• 55:27Tig Notaro?

  Okay, why don't you pay me $20? How much was your caricature?

• 55:32Mae Martin?

  Well, the crazy thing was I go, how much? And he goes, I don't charge. And I said, Well, but how much is it?

• 55:37Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, he wants a chip.

• 55:39Mae Martin?

  He goes, I don't charge, but if you want to give me a gift. So then it was really confusing, but I gave him 20 bucks.

• 55:43Fortune Feimster?

  There you go.

• 55:44Tig Notaro?

  Okay, well, look at that, right on the, right on the nose. So pay me 20 bucks. We can do this at Wellness Weekend.

• 55:50Fortune Feimster?

  You're, you're gonna draw it?

• 55:51Tig Notaro?

  You know who would be good at Wellness Weekend? Pete Holmes.

• 55:55Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 55:56Tig Notaro?

  Pete Holmes would be down for Wellness Weekend.

• 55:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I think you need.

• 55:59Tig Notaro?

  Let's kick, let's kick Fortune out.

• 56:01Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, I told you I was gonna participate. No, I'm not getting replaced by a boy.

• 56:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 56:11Fortune Feimster?

  With two D. It's gonna two D fart on y'all the whole time.

• 56:15Tig Notaro?

  Well, yeah, it is a silly, silly fun boy. And, um, but yeah, I, I, I want to do portraits and caricatures on Wellness Weekend.

• 56:23Fortune Feimster?

  I know, mine's not gonna be great. I'm telling you, I've never been given.

• 56:26Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I'm gonna draw you like the little angel that you are.

• 56:30Fortune Feimster?

  I've never, no one's ever drawn me in a way where I've been like, that is so flattering. Oh, my God, it is like, let's take the things about you we notice and times it by 10.

• 56:39Tig Notaro?

  I look like a man that has three minutes left before he passes.

• 56:46Fortune Feimster?

  Although I did, I did really enjoy the, uh, remember early on in the pod, someone made some of our episodes into cartoons? I enjoyed that.

• 56:55Mae Martin?

  I just really liked the, when someone put our faces on the cast of Friends or on Jennifer Aniston.

• 57:01Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:01Mae Martin?

  Lisa Kudrow and yeah.

• 57:04Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. That was a good time.

• 57:07Mae Martin?

  What a time.

• 57:08Tig Notaro?

  What a time to be alive.

• 57:11Mae Martin?

  What a nice, uh, grounding check-in for me while on the road to see my pals.

• 57:17Tig Notaro?

  And what a great birthday that I had.

• 57:19Fortune Feimster?

  I know, happy birthday.

• 57:21Tig Notaro?

  I mean, and who knows if I won or lost the Oscar.

• 57:25Fortune Feimster?

  I know.

• 57:25Mae Martin?

  Who, that is so wild.

• 57:27Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I have a fun announcement.

• 57:30Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 57:30Tig Notaro?

  Are you pregnant?

• 57:32Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 57:33Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 57:34Fortune Feimster?

  I just announced a European tour.

• 57:36Mae Martin?

  Ooh, girl.

• 57:38Fortune Feimster?

  I'm going to a bunch, a bunch of cities I haven't been before. That I'm very excited to go to like Stockholm, Oslo, Copenhagen.

• 57:48Tig Notaro?

  Oslo.

• 57:49Fortune Feimster?

  Dublin, and I will be returning to London. And I already did Amsterdam, but I'm super stoked. They are going to be at the end of May into June. Um, so for our European handsome listeners, I'm coming over there. And then, uh, in the meantime, I'll also be at, uh, Oklahoma City, Fayetteville, and Little Rock, Arkansas, San Antonio, Dallas, and Des Moines, and Toronto, and then headed to Europe.

• 58:16Tig Notaro?

  Unbelievably exciting.

• 58:18Fortune Feimster?

  Australia in August, so the Australia dates are coming as well.

• 58:23Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 58:24Mae Martin?

  Down under, I can talk to them like I, so my Tony Kell. What if you get to the airport and they say, and they turn you away at customs? No. Yeah, we've heard the pod.

• 58:35Tig Notaro?

  We appreciate you trying. Dynasty Typewriter in Largo, in Los Angeles. I'll be in New Hampshire, Newtown, Connecticut, Portland, Maine, Red Bank, New Jersey, Bellingham, Washington, Brooks, California. Uh, it just goes on and on. Uh, go to tignotaro.com. Also, check out Come See Me in the Good Light on Apple TV. Um, it may or may not be an Oscar award winning film and, uh.

• 59:02Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna see you at the Oscars, though.

• 59:04Tig Notaro?

  I know it, girl. We're gonna party all night.

• 59:08Mae Martin?

  I am, tonight I'm in Cleveland, Ohio. Then tomorrow, March 25th, I'm Pittsburgh, then New York, Philadelphia. But check out maymartin.net for all the, in April, I'm everywhere. I'm absolutely everywhere. So please come to one of the, one of the April shows, girls. And, uh, also, we have new merch available at handsomepod.com. We have cheese in my pocket.

• 59:35Mae Martin?

  And party kisser.

• 59:38Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's gonna sell like cuckoo cuckoo things.

• 59:43Fortune Feimster?

  It's crazy. Our workshop will kill it. We have these crazy silly things that have it on the pod and suddenly there's like a shirt.

• 59:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's amazing. We have great, great handsome and pretty little ladies and babies. And we love to keep building this community. So please subscribe and rate and review. It is so important to the show and share, share this episode with a friend or family member and say, come on, come on, join the handsome community. And until next time, what do you say we?

• 1:00:18Mae Martin?

  Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. And please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 1:00:37Fortune Feimster?

  What a podcast. What a podcast.

• 1:00:43Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.

• 1:00:45Speaker 06

  What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 1:00:47Speaker 07

  And Hannah Simone.

• 1:00:48Speaker 06

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl Rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

• 1:01:10Speaker 07

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 1:01:23Speaker 06

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 1:01:34Speaker 07

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.