"Shane Gillis"

Pad up your funny bones; it’s Shane Gillis. The ham gene, war history, workouts vs. naps, and serious movies with serious actors. There’s nothin’ lake about it… on another tickling episode of SmartLess.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So the other day, I wanted to make invitations for my dog Ricky's birthday party. And I've got three things open on my laptop. An adorable photo of Ricky, a picture of a birthday cake, and the RSVP details. Thing is, as much as I look like one, I'm not a canine birthday party invitation designer. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop with a feature called Magic Pointer. I just click the photos and different elements on my screen and boom. Magic Pointer designs a customized birthday party invitation for Ricky. Click anything on your screen to create whatever you want. Visit googlebook.com. Available to 18-plus users.

• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  Compatibility and availability vary.

• 0:49Sean Hayes?

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• 1:29Sean Hayes?

  The place you call home is important to you. So it's important to Allstate. Because home is where you make all your memories. Things like inviting your friends over for game night and discovering that one of them takes charades way, way too seriously. It's these memories that make a house feel like home. If it's important to you, it's important to Allstate. Switch to Allstate and you could save hundreds on home insurance today. Not available in every state. Potential savings vary, subject to terms and qualifications. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 2:05Sean Hayes?

  Can we talk about something embarrassing besides the sound of my voice? Imagine you're at lunch. The server brings a Coca-Cola Zero Sugar while the food is still on the way. You think, "Just a sip while I wait for my chili dog." So you take that sip, but suddenly you can't stop drinking that delicious ice cold Coke Zero. The food arrives and you're just sitting there emotionally unprepared, waiting for a life-saving refill. Real Coca-Cola taste with zero sugar? It's hard to resist. Coca-Cola Zero Sugar, too good to wait. Enjoy the delicious taste of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today.

• 2:50Sean Hayes?

  You know what the key is to these cold opens? You just start talking and stuff just tumbles out of the mouth. It's halfway interesting. Go ahead, Will, give it a shot. Just start yammering.

• 3:01Will Arnett?

  Oh, man. Taxi season this year really got me in knots.

• 3:07Sean Hayes?

  That's pretty good.

• 3:08Will Arnett?

  Thanks, man.

• 3:09Sean Hayes?

  That's pretty good stuff.

• 3:10Will Arnett?

  You think that's good? Wait till this all new Smartless.

• 3:12Sean Hayes?

  Nice. Welcome to Smartless.

• 3:33Sean Hayes?

  Will, where are you?

• 3:35Will Arnett?

  I'm at home now.

• 3:35Sean Hayes?

  I know. Why did you switch places?

• 3:37Will Arnett?

  Because I was at my office because they were doing work here.

• 3:39Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right. Remember the office, Sean? Yeah, that was extraordinary. Yeah, that lasted for just one recording. And now he's away from that work site.

• 3:52Will Arnett?

  You know, it's so funny. You just have such a funny thing. Don't make me go deep on this. Your thing about work, that you think that you go to office. "Hey, I'm actor Jay. My new role is work."

• 4:05Sean Hayes?

  Look at his...

• 4:05Will Arnett?

  Again, I grew up, I did everything I could to not do that.

• 4:09Sean Hayes?

  Right. Yeah, yeah. You nailed it. You don't want to sit behind a desk. Yeah.

• 4:13Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:13Sean Hayes?

  Right?

• 4:14Will Arnett?

  That's my dad. I mean, God bless him.

• 4:16Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, we all... But we all sit behind desks during the day.

• 4:20Will Arnett?

  Yes.

• 4:20Sean Hayes?

  I mean, you do, right? We did everything.

• 4:23Jason Bateman?

  Not Will.

• 4:24Will Arnett?

  Not me.

• 4:24Jason Bateman?

  Will sits on the couch and he watches the Toronto Maple Leaves win.

• 4:27Will Arnett?

  Sure do.

• 4:28Jason Bateman?

  That's all he does.

• 4:29Sean Hayes?

  Oh, look at that.

• 4:30Jason Bateman?

  I'll tell you who, I tell you who captures the camera real well is that Brendan Shanahan.

• 4:34Will Arnett?

  He sure does.

• 4:35Jason Bateman?

  You know, when they, when they, when they, when they point that camera at him up in that power box.

• 4:40Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:41Jason Bateman?

  She's stuck there looking like, looking like the boss he is.

• 4:44Will Arnett?

  He's turned into a real silver fox, hasn't he?

• 4:46Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, camera loves him.

• 4:48Will Arnett?

  By the way.

• 4:48Sean Hayes?

  Silver fox.

• 4:49Will Arnett?

  By the way, he's gonna, he's gonna call me and be like, what do you mean silver? Well, you've got gray hair.

• 4:54Jason Bateman?

  It's a salt and pepper fox.

• 4:55Sean Hayes?

  Silver fox in a power box.

• 4:57Will Arnett?

  I know. How about the time that he tried to teach Sean, Sean asked Shane when he was in town last year to teach him how to fight.

• 5:04Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 5:04Will Arnett?

  At the Beverly Hills Hotel out the back door. And Sean went at him.

• 5:09Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 5:09Will Arnett?

  And Shane's like, okay, well, what, and Shane's laughing.

• 5:12Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, in two seconds, he got me in a headlock. Yeah, and Sean was saying, wait, aren't you supposed to take this off me? Isn't the shirt supposed to come off? I thought it was shirts against skins.

• 5:21Will Arnett?

  I thought we were doing shirts against skins, I'm always skins.

• 5:24Sean Hayes?

  By the way, in high school, didn't you fear, well, hey, Will, in high school, didn't you?

• 5:29Jason Bateman?

  Sean, that hurts.

• 5:30Will Arnett?

  Now, now you're on board, thank you, Sean.

• 5:33Sean Hayes?

  Um, in high school, didn't it freak you out or junior high? When people, when you, the coach would say, okay, we're gonna do shirts and skins and like in basketball, whatever.

• 5:40Jason Bateman?

  I would always.

• 5:40Sean Hayes?

  I didn't wanna take my shirt off.

• 5:42Jason Bateman?

  I know.

• 5:42Sean Hayes?

  I didn't wanna take my shirt off.

• 5:43Jason Bateman?

  I was always afraid of that.

• 5:44Sean Hayes?

  It's traumatizing. Why do, why do they do that to kids? And then they made us take showers and like 12, 13 years old. I'm like, well, I don't wanna do that.

• 5:52Will Arnett?

  I know, it's so.

• 5:55Jason Bateman?

  Will likes walking around with his kid off, just kinda shaking his junk all over the place.

• 6:01Will Arnett?

  I never went to, I never stepped foot into a, into a gym until I was about 24. So I was never like.

• 6:07Sean Hayes?

  Oh, really?

• 6:07Will Arnett?

  Yeah, ever.

• 6:08Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, but you played sports.

• 6:09Will Arnett?

  I played sports, but I was, I just never, and then, but I went to boarding school, so I had to take showers, you know, starting at age 12 when I went to boarding school.

• 6:18Sean Hayes?

  It's so like, I can't.

• 6:19Will Arnett?

  With other, yeah, it was, it's weird.

• 6:21Sean Hayes?

  I went to camp once, I think I said this, and we had a lineup outside, a music camp, Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp in Michigan.

• 6:28Will Arnett?

  And, um. Not a sports camp.

• 6:30Sean Hayes?

  No.

• 6:32Will Arnett?

  Hang on, let me just, let me just adjust everything I know about you.

• 6:41Sean Hayes?

  And they made us line up outside to take a shower in front of, and one by one, we had to take a shower. And you had to like, take your clothes off in front of all of these kids, your peers, and it was so awful.

• 6:53Will Arnett?

  Sean, when I was, when I was in seventh grade, age 12, I went from living with my folks to a place where they had, uh, uh, uh, four showers per side in a big, huge, open room with no divider.

• 7:04Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that's weird.

• 7:05Jason Bateman?

  Sounds like torture.

• 7:06Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it's awful. And by the way, that, by the time I got in the camp thing, and by the time I got up there, that all the hot water was gone. So I was, I take it, I was taking a cold shower, and I couldn't breathe, because it was so cold.

• 7:18Will Arnett?

  If I'm being honest, you probably needed it. You're showering with all those dudes, I mean, that probably helped.

• 7:27Jason Bateman?

  Just get things, get things back to normal.

• 7:31Sean Hayes?

  Anything to calm me down.

• 7:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 7:34Sean Hayes?

  Oh my god.

• 7:37Jason Bateman?

  What, you got some electrolytes going there, Sean, this morning?

• 7:40Sean Hayes?

  I do, yeah, yeah.

• 7:41Jason Bateman?

  What happened to the milk? The, the cow dead?

• 7:42Sean Hayes?

  No, I had milk already.

• 7:44Jason Bateman?

  Oh, you're chasing it with some electrolytes? Good luck on the toy toy.

• 7:48Will Arnett?

  What are you, Jesus, you're so obsessed with people's bowel.

• 7:52Jason Bateman?

  Well, I just, I don't, he's creating a bomb. That electrolyte's gonna cut right through that milk like a knife.

• 7:57Sean Hayes?

  Is it really?

• 7:58Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 7:59Sean Hayes?

  Is it really?

• 8:00Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, dude.

• 8:01Will Arnett?

  Whenever I see people eating, I'm not thinking-

• 8:03Jason Bateman?

  Get yourself over a toilet within the next 60 minutes.

• 8:05Will Arnett?

  I'm never thinking about, whenever I see people eat, I'm never thinking about, man, that's really gonna come back to haunt them on the toilet. It just doesn't occur to me.

• 8:15Jason Bateman?

  You know, when I see clips of that hot sauce talk show, that's all I think about.

• 8:19Sean Hayes?

  I know, same.

• 8:20Jason Bateman?

  What are these people doing?

• 8:21Sean Hayes?

  Same.

• 8:22Jason Bateman?

  You out of your mind?

• 8:23Sean Hayes?

  No, they should do it from a toilet.

• 8:24Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Won't catch me on that show.

• 8:28Will Arnett?

  No, of course not.

• 8:30Jason Bateman?

  Not once.

• 8:31Will Arnett?

  No, no, no, of course you won't.

• 8:32Sean Hayes?

  Whose guest is it today?

• 8:33Will Arnett?

  It's my guest.

• 8:34Jason Bateman?

  Narcoleptic guest or something, Will?

• 8:35Will Arnett?

  No, no, no. Well, he's, he's a great guest, and I was, I was about to get to it, and then I was thinking about, you talking about shitting everywhere. But, uh, our guest, uh, the only thing, he, he hasn't shit everywhere, all he's done is, he's scored- Everywhere. This guy has been making everybody laugh.

• 8:51Jason Bateman?

  Another word for it.

• 8:52Will Arnett?

  He has been.

• 8:52Jason Bateman?

  Ron Jeremy on Smart.

• 8:55Will Arnett?

  Shit themselves. He makes me shit myself laughing. He's so fucking funny. He's such a great dude. I had the pleasure of kind of getting to know him over the last couple of months. He's been very generous as I was going through the process. On our film and he he has just been his specials have been unbelievably well received. He's maybe the biggest touring comic out there. His new his show tires is about to start second season on June 5th. He's a great writer. He's this incredible stand up. He's the funniest dude. Guys, it's Shane Gillis.

• 9:26Sean Hayes?

  Ah Shane Gillis.

• 9:27Jason Bateman?

  Here on Smartless. Good morning.

• 9:30Will Arnett?

  There he is.

• 9:31Jason Bateman?

  Hello.

• 9:32Sean Hayes?

  I love you. This is so cool.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  Oh, thanks.

• 9:36Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, so funny.

• 9:38Will Arnett?

  Easy. Hi Shane. Hi Shane.

• 9:40Jason Bateman?

  Where do we find you today? Are you we at home?

• 9:43Speaker 03

  I am at home. I'm in Austin, Texas.

• 9:45Jason Bateman?

  All right. And how is it in Austin?

• 9:47Speaker 03

  It's all right. It kind of sucks. It's hot and humid a lot.

• 9:51Jason Bateman?

  Hot already?

• 9:52Speaker 03

  I don't love it. I don't love it. Yeah, it's hot. It's been hot. It's gonna be hot until December.

• 9:57Sean Hayes?

  Wow.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  It's one of the worst places I've ever lived.

• 10:02Jason Bateman?

  Now, do you ever do you ever do you ever jump in that river that they call a lake? And cool off a little bit?

• 10:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's very nice.

• 10:09Jason Bateman?

  Why do they call it a lake? It does.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  I'm not sure.

• 10:11Jason Bateman?

  It snakes around like a river, right?

• 10:13Speaker 03

  It's literally the Colorado River. I don't know. They call it a lake. I have no idea.

• 10:17Will Arnett?

  Oh, I didn't know that. Is that it?

• 10:18Jason Bateman?

  I didn't know that either.

• 10:19Will Arnett?

  Is that something that happens down there?

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Colorado River.

• 10:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 10:22Speaker 03

  And it doesn't even look like a lake. It's just a river.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  Nothing like about it at all.

• 10:28Jason Bateman?

  You could throw a rock across it.

• 10:29Sean Hayes?

  Wait, so Shane, do you is you live there by choice? I mean, like you, it sounds like you hate it.

• 10:34Will Arnett?

  It sounds like you're being forced. Like, is there somebody off camera with a gun?

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, Joe Rogan. He's right here. He's got a gun to my head.

• 10:41Jason Bateman?

  He's down there, right?

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, he's down here and he opened a club here and it was either for a comedian, it's either New York, LA, or that was always the only two options. And then he opened a club here so you can, you know.

• 10:53Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that's great.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  You can evade some taxes and do stand up here.

• 10:56Jason Bateman?

  Now, he was a stand up, right? And then I remember he was on one of the greatest shows ever, News Radio. So he was an actor for a minute, right? But he did start up stand up, didn't he?

• 11:05Speaker 03

  He's he's still, I mean, he's done stand up the entire time.

• 11:08Sean Hayes?

  And remember Fear Factor? He did Fear Factor. You should watch that.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  Did Fear Factor.

• 11:12Will Arnett?

  So Shane, I first met Shane at Joe's Club in Austin.

• 11:18Jason Bateman?

  Oh, no way.

• 11:18Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I went down there and he was kind enough and gracious enough to let me have, twice have like 10 minutes of his time on stage.

• 11:25Jason Bateman?

  All right Shane, give us a review on Will.

• 11:27Will Arnett?

  No, you don't have to.

• 11:28Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, no, I want to hear it right now.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  No, it's gonna be, Will doesn't want to hear it because it's flattering. Well, that's what I thought. I was like, so they asked me to help write on this, write some, for the movie and I was like, if I write any material that's good, I need to.

• 11:40Jason Bateman?

  You're gonna keep it.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  Because I have nothing.

• 11:42Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  So I was like, the only way to do it is just to actually do stand-up. So he came down and we did stand-up and I was like, he's gonna fucking bomb. This is a lot harder than he thinks. And he was so naturally funny right away. I was in the back of the room like, god damn it.

• 12:01Jason Bateman?

  He does have, Will, you do have that, that natural, and I mean, not as a pejorative, the sort of this ham gene, right? Like you are comfortable with the spotlight on you.

• 12:12Will Arnett?

  The stuff I hammed down, you're fucking broke.

• 12:13Jason Bateman?

  You're comfortable giving a toast, you're comfortable, and I don't have that. I just, I don't, I don't like the spotlight on me, I don't like a lot of attention. Will, you're comfortable with it and it puts, puts the audience at ease.

• 12:25Sean Hayes?

  Yes, and it's a, it's a talent, it's a gift, it's talent. Shane, you have it too.

• 12:29Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 12:29Will Arnett?

  Well Shane, Shane's got, here's the difference. I, I hammed my way and hawed my way through it. Shane getting up there is so natural and, and good. And I know you've been working on it and you, and you've crafted it, but you've got it, you've got such a great way about you on stage and you kind of, you bring, what I love is you kind of bring the audience in with you. And you laugh and, and you, I don't know, you kind of like, you don't really like take sides, you kind of like, you, you play to a wide, you play to different parts of what people, and you get to kind of just what's funny. So no matter where you land on any subject, you're like, you gotta admit, that's funny, whether you're talking about politics or whatever it is.

• 13:12Will Arnett?

  And I'm sure that that's not, I'm sure it's, that's something, that's a skill, right? Like that's, to be able to do that, that's something you kind of work on?

• 13:21Speaker 03

  I mean, I think it's kind of, I mean, yeah, it's a skill I guess, but it's also like, that's kind of how I feel most of the time, you know? Like I don't, I don't like picking a side on, I don't know, publicly picking a side on an issue typically comes back to make you look like a fucking idiot.

• 13:37Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  I don't know, I mean unless it's like a glaring thing and should whatever.

• 13:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  Uh, but I want to go back to the Austin thing by the, so the first show he went up and it was fine. The second show we did like an hour later, it was great. And it was, uh, it was really frustrating how good you were at it.

• 13:58Jason Bateman?

  Oh, with Will? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:59Speaker 03

  And he was reading a script and it was still funny.

• 14:02Jason Bateman?

  He's using your material though.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  No, he wasn't. They, they did it themselves. In fact, I read the material first and I was like, I don't think this is gonna fucking work.

• 14:10Jason Bateman?

  So wait, so what, what type?

• 14:12Speaker 03

  I didn't want to say anything.

• 14:13Jason Bateman?

  What was Will's, what was Will's style? Was he like telling stories or was he kind of going joke to joke to joke?

• 14:20Speaker 03

  Uh, it was, it was more storytelling, but it was, uh, it was exactly how I like the standup. It was, it was stories with jokes with jokes within it, which was.

• 14:30Jason Bateman?

  Do you remember any of it, Willie? Or have you deleted the files? Can you give us a taste?

• 14:34Will Arnett?

  No, well, a lot of it, as Shane knows, he read it because a lot of it is stuff that we use in the film. So we were working on it. So it's various stages of.

• 14:42Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, because we didn't say it. This is the film that's come, that you just shot and that's coming out later this year. What's it called, Will? The film? Is This Thing On?

• 14:49Will Arnett?

  Is This Thing On? Yeah.

• 14:51Jason Bateman?

  Is This Thing On?

• 14:52Will Arnett?

  We can get that a later date when, when I'm the guest on the show.

• 14:55Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, right. Are you, are you gonna book yourself?

• 14:58Speaker 03

  Oh, sorry.

• 14:58Will Arnett?

  Go ahead.

• 14:59Jason Bateman?

  No, go ahead, Shane. Sorry.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  No, there's, we were laughing. I was just at The Cellar this week and we were laughing because there's a comedian there. His name's Will Silvance. And Will's playing a character onstage. And after the show, he goes on with the comedian and asks questions about the set. And I think he took the set very seriously. It was like, man, I'm really sorry you're going through all that.

• 15:21Jason Bateman?

  Oh, really?

• 15:23Speaker 03

  No, it's a script, you idiot.

• 15:25Will Arnett?

  He did. The first time, the first time I did New Joke Monday over there around the corner with him, I, and he comes up on stage and he asks you questions. And he was like, ooh, like Shane said, he was like, ah, this sounds really rough. And I, I just kind of answered him as if it was all real. And he's like, hang in there, buddy.

• 15:42Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:45Jason Bateman?

  And we will be right back.

• 15:49Sean Hayes?

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• 16:33Sean Hayes?

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• 16:57Sean Hayes?

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• 17:42Sean Hayes?

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• 18:11Sean Hayes?

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• 18:55Sean Hayes?

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• 19:12Sean Hayes?

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• 19:56Sean Hayes?

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• 20:23Jason Bateman?

  And now, back to the show.

• 20:26Sean Hayes?

  Wait, Shane, so doing what you do for a living, do you wake up and go to sleep constantly thinking of like, I got it, like, that was funny today, this is funny, oh, I gotta write that down? Like, do you ever get out of that? Or you were always in that mode?

• 20:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would say, yeah, although, I don't know, I used to be a lot better at it. Now, I'm kind of just, I should be like that, and I'm not.

• 20:50Sean Hayes?

  Okay.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  I gotta work on that. I gotta go back to only thinking about stand-up.

• 20:55Sean Hayes?

  Okay, for real?

• 20:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, otherwise, I don't know. I, you feel like you're not coming up with any new material.

• 21:02Sean Hayes?

  Well, then, how do you do what you do? Do you, do you set us, you set aside some time to really focus on, on work?

• 21:08Speaker 03

  No, I don't really, I don't really write that much. I just kind of, I go, this could be a good idea, and then I go onstage and try it. And if I get it, great.

• 21:18Sean Hayes?

  Well, so you just figure it out onstage, and it's all straight improv? You haven't really worked on any of it?

• 21:23Speaker 03

  No, I mean, you, yeah, you do that for like, like, I'll do, if I did stand-up tonight, I would do basically 10 minutes that I know I'm, I know. But I just know every word to it. And then I'd maybe try five minutes and see what happens, and probably abandon it. And then have one of my friends in like, four or five months, go, hey, that was a funny idea, and then I'll try it again.

• 21:45Will Arnett?

  And so, when you're putting together an hour, like, to do, to do a Netflix special, like, you know, are you, is that something, like, that they set the date for, and they go, hey, man, we need you to deliver this special by this date? And so then, that's when you kind of hone in and start working on actual stuff, or?

• 22:03Speaker 03

  I think they do that sometimes. I told them I didn't really, I wouldn't want a date on it, maybe 2026? Because I got, I gotta, right now, I'm doing arenas, and I don't think the best way to work an hour out is in an arena. Because it's just, it's just different. I don't know. I think I'll do arenas for maybe the next, for the rest of this year, and then go down, back to clubs, and really try to focus on. Hammering out the hour that I'm doing right now. I don't want to rush, it was special.

• 22:32Will Arnett?

  When did you, when did you start? I love, I mean, you've got so much good stuff that you talk about growing up. I love all that stuff about going to Notre Dame games with your family.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's my favorite.

• 22:42Will Arnett?

  When you guys get in the van together and all that stuff.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:46Will Arnett?

  You've got such rich and your cousins and your, and your, you know, your family. You've just got such great, rich stuff. When, what, what was the first moment? This is like the question, like, how did you start in comedy? But like, when did you start going like, oh, the stories that I'm telling about my family or the shit that's going on, people are laughing enough that I should go to a club and tell it in front of other people? Like, what was that?

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was, I was washing dishes at my friend's restaurant and I always thought I was funny and I just had no idea how to get into stand up. And then, uh, one of the, one of the cooks was like, I'm gonna go to open mic at the Harrisburg Comedy Zone tonight. And I was like, oh, you can just do stand up? And he was like, yeah. So I went and I watched and I thought everyone sucked and I was like, I can do that. And then, uh, I went back every week for like two months just watching. And then I finally got on stage and I fucking bombed. I was like, I don't have to write any material. I'm just funny. I just got up there and couldn't talk. It was crazy how bad it was.

• 23:44Will Arnett?

  Right, right.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, and stopped for a while after that traumatic experience, but I always still wanted to do it. And then eventually I went back and really applied myself and tried and did it.

• 23:55Will Arnett?

  And was there, were you, were you, were you studying to do anything, anything else? Like, was, was this always the, the career plan or were you, did this, did this derail something, uh, something else?

• 24:05Speaker 03

  No, it wasn't really great. I was at Westchester University in Pennsylvania. I was studying to become a history teacher.

• 24:12Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah?

• 24:13Speaker 03

  And, uh,

• 24:13Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  The first, I remember the first show I ever did, I fucking, it was a road, the first time I ever went on the road, it was a hotel in, outside of Pittsburgh in Mars, Pennsylvania, and it was in like a hotel lobby and I bombed so badly that the club owner took me aside and was like, what are you doing, uh, with your life? And I was like, I'm a college student. I go, I'm studying to be a history teacher. He was like, why don't you just do that instead of stand up? I was like, I was like, all right, man.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  I kinda took it to heart.

• 24:47Jason Bateman?

  Were you done with your set yet?

• 24:49Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  It was, I swear to God, it was in between shows. I still had another, I still had another set.

• 24:56Speaker 03

  I go up there like, this might be it, this is my retirement.

• 24:59Jason Bateman?

  You know who loves history? Our host, Will Arnett.

• 25:02Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 25:03Jason Bateman?

  Specifically, World War II history. What's your favorite? You like that, the European or the American?

• 25:09Will Arnett?

  He knows it all, man. Right, Shane? You know it all.

• 25:12Speaker 03

  I, well, I don't know. I, I like World War II. I like, American Civil War is great.

• 25:18Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, right. Have you seen, have you seen both the Civil War documentary and the World War II documentary that Ken Burns did?

• 25:24Speaker 03

  I love them, I love them both.

• 25:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:26Speaker 03

  I like the Civil, the Civil War one I like better.

• 25:29Jason Bateman?

  It's so powerful.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  The West, Vietnam is great. His Vietnam documentary was great.

• 25:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, because I didn't know shit about Vietnam.

• 25:36Will Arnett?

  I remember, what did you say about the Ken Burns documentary? You said that, that it's literally kryptonite for women?

• 25:43Speaker 03

  Yeah. If you put it on, they're gonna fall asleep.

• 25:49Will Arnett?

  I remember you used to talk, with the other thing that really made me laugh, you used to talk about that dude Shelby Foote, that historian, and the way that he would, right?

• 25:57Speaker 03

  I did that, I did a bunch of Ken Burns material at my SNL monologue and everyone was kinda like, what the fuck is he talking about?

• 26:05Will Arnett?

  That was it, that was it, that was it. It was recent, it was recent, right?

• 26:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, every time I, my monologue doesn't go great on SNL. I'm 0 for 2 on those things.

• 26:17Will Arnett?

  I loved, I loved it.

• 26:18Jason Bateman?

  I loved it too.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  I like it. Look, I like it and I'm having fun up there, but it was, Tate McRae was the musical guest, so the audience was like 20-year-old chicks just in the front, and I'm up there talking about fucking Shelby Foote and Ken Burns and Civil War. And they had no idea, literally, just some ogre walked out onto the stage and talked about Shelby Foote. They were probably scared.

• 26:44Will Arnett?

  You literally referenced the Battle of Fredericksburg.

• 26:49Jason Bateman?

  Hey, so with such a drastic, like, are you happy with where you're at? Like, is this the, like, you find yourself at the top of your career in this particular field,

• 27:00Sean Hayes?

  At such a young age.

• 27:01Jason Bateman?

  Which is drastically different than this other path that you thought you would be on. Like, have you adapted? Like, are you digging it?

• 27:07Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  Uh, it's, I don't know, you guys probably know what it's like. It's kinda uncomfortable.

• 27:13Jason Bateman?

  There's definitely some weird parts to it, yeah.

• 27:15Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:16Speaker 03

  It's pretty uncomfortable, you know, with the imposter syndrome and depression and all that, but,

• 27:24Speaker 03

  you know, I just, I just drink a lot, so that helps.

• 27:29Jason Bateman?

  That'll round the edges.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  That really fucking makes things easier, you know, when you wake up and go, oh.

• 27:35Jason Bateman?

  We all have the option to just sort of get off the highway and, like, you know, hide, I guess. And, you know, everyone forgets about you after a few years anyway, so we could find anonymity if we wanted it.

• 27:47Sean Hayes?

  Right. Like, did you have that, did you have that moment? I remember that when, you know, you, you take, in your case, stand-up gigs or specials or whatever. In my case, it was a sitcom, and you...

• 27:59Jason Bateman?

  This guy!

• 28:01Speaker 03

  We love that show!

• 28:04Sean Hayes?

  It was, and the first time that it started, I took it because it was a job, right? You auditioned, you're just looking for a job. And then you have no idea what's gonna happen.

• 28:13Jason Bateman?

  You're just looking to feed yourself, and then you become famous.

• 28:16Sean Hayes?

  Right, and by accident, almost, right? You just kinda wanna work as an actor. It's not like, I wanna be famous, I just wanna work.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:22Sean Hayes?

  And then it happens, and then in the moment, and I remember thinking, I'm like, oh, this is what, this is what I read about, I read about. This is what I watch TV and this happens. So, so did that happen to you in that mo, do you remember that moment where you're like, oh shit, this is what it feels like to kind of become successful?

• 28:40Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, there's a, yeah, there was definitely some moments along the way. I mean, hosting SNL, when I did that, was, that was, that was one of those moments. Cause I, I had gotten fired from the show before, and I was like...

• 28:52Jason Bateman?

  Oh, that's right, you were on it, I forgot.

• 28:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, for four days.

• 28:56Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Oh my god, really? For four days?

• 28:59Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I remember seeing when, when they announced that you were gonna host. And it must have been kind of surreal considering the history you had.

• 29:07Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  It was, I don't know, but you did like, it was like, oh, great. We're gonna go through this again. There was pressure because once they announced it, everyone's like, fuck him, don't let him back that. And it's like, I was fine without it. I was, you know, I'm doing all right. But it was still awesome and I was so happy they let me back on and those people, everybody there has been, they've been awesome. But it was funny back to the original, the question was those moments. I was with my friend, Dan Soder. He's, he's one of the best comedians.

• 29:35Will Arnett?

  Super funny dude.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  His name's Dan Soder. He's unbelievably funny. But he was like one of the first people to take me on the road. And then he and I were doing an arena, we were doing like the Cleveland Cavaliers Arena. And I was standing in the tunnel before I went out there and I was, I looked at him and I was like, dude, I really just wanted to do a one nighter at the local comedy club. I thought that was the ceiling. I don't know what the fuck this is. I don't know how I got here.

• 30:00Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  This is going, this has gotten out of hand.

• 30:03Will Arnett?

  Wow. And did you have, and so you have that moment before, and if you, do you still have moments on stage where it kind of, out of body where like you, you, you land a joke and the place is going crazy and you're standing, and I'm sure you're caught up in it, but you go, you look out and there are literally tens of thousand people, of people laughing and going like, holy fuck.

• 30:24Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  Usually that happens when the joke doesn't land.

• 30:28Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Silence is even louder. Twenty thousand silent people when you're standing there going, oh, fuck.

• 30:34Sean Hayes?

  That's much more powerful. Yeah.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  It's a real powerful moment.

• 30:39Will Arnett?

  Well, you know, one of the interesting things about, that I found in the, in the, in the, just the short amount of time that I did it, just in the small clubs over the, in the underground and, at the cellar rather, and at, and the one time in Austin is that. Like I went, we went one night and we were working on something and we went to the cellar in that main room downstairs and it went great. We're like, holy shit, that really worked. And then we went around the corner to the underground 20 minutes later and it was like, pretty good. It was the same material.

• 31:08Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 31:08Will Arnett?

  And it was pretty good, right? It was a big room. And then we went to the fat, black pussycat next door and it was

• 31:16Jason Bateman?

  Let's keep it clean, okay?

• 31:17Will Arnett?

  Absolutely bombed. And I remember at the time, my buddy Bradley was there and my buddy Bob, who you met, and they were in the back and they were dying laughing because literally the same material that 30 minutes ago had killed. Silence.

• 31:32Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  It's, it's the best feeling in the world watching one of your friends bomb. There's nothing better. It's the most fun possible thing. But yeah, that happens.

• 31:43Will Arnett?

  And it happens, but what's crazy and that feeling was of, which was, was like, oh, you're, it's just you. There's nowhere to hide. You can't, you're just up there. You can't just go, you can't start crying and drop the microphone and run off stage. You know what I mean?

• 32:00Jason Bateman?

  But, but talk about that, you guys, the, the, because like, I think an actor can ruin a good script and they can also, you know, make a bad script good just based on performance, whether it's good performance or bad performance. Do you find that it's the same way with, with, with, with stand-up? Like in your case, Will, that you had the same material three different places. How much of it do you think was the audience or, or was it you in the different way in which you were telling a joke?

• 32:30Will Arnett?

  I don't know, I don't have enough experience to, to really answer that. In that moment, I have to blame the audience just to maintain my self-esteem. But, but Shane, Shane, you have a lot more years of experience. I mean, what do you, what do you think it is?

• 32:44Jason Bateman?

  Like, are there bulletproof jokes? You know, that like any, you know?

• 32:47Sean Hayes?

  To get them back.

• 32:48Speaker 03

  There should be and you think you, you have one. Like a good example is the cellar is a perfect example because it's like four different rooms. And so like all I would do, there was one night I did the Village Underground, which is a great room downstairs. It's one of my favorite rooms in the country, but I killed. I was doing, it was crazy how I couldn't believe how good it was. And then I was on next upstairs. So I literally walked off stage and walked onstage upstairs. And in your head, you're like, oh, I just, you go on with the same confidence you just had for killing. Where you're like, this crowd, wait till they fucking see this. The first joke doesn't work,

• 33:28Speaker 03

  and you're just immediately crushed. And so it's kind of a mix of the crowd and you, you went up there kind of fucking arrogant. And then as soon as they fucking shut you down, you're like, I just shut down completely. And then at the end of my set, I did like a fucking Trump joke, and they all laughed. And I was like, fuck you guys. You guys hated me this whole time. I hate you guys.

• 33:55Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 33:58Sean Hayes?

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• 34:33Sean Hayes?

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• 35:13Sean Hayes?

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• 35:49Sean Hayes?

  And now, back to the show.

• 35:52Jason Bateman?

  Are you doing any acting at all? Have you, how's that?

• 35:55Will Arnett?

  Well, he's got his show, he's got a second season of his show, Tires, that he created.

• 35:59Jason Bateman?

  Oh, great. Okay, gotcha. How do you like that where the words, you've got to fit the words as opposed to the words have to fit you when you're doing stand-up?

• 36:07Speaker 03

  I don't mind it. I really like acting, especially on Tires, because that's just me and my friends and it's all just our friends. So we can kind of fuck around and you don't really have, you know, you can improv a little on that.

• 36:20Jason Bateman?

  Gotcha.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  I do have some kind of real acting coming up in a couple of weeks, and I'm pretty nervous about that. We'll see how that goes.

• 36:29Jason Bateman?

  Oh, can you tell us what it is?

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Not that my show's not real. I don't know if I can tell you, so.

• 36:35Jason Bateman?

  Okay, no worries.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  But I can't, right?

• 36:37Jason Bateman?

  But it's material, it's material that you haven't written and you can't improvise. So you've got to like, study these lines, learn these lines, and play your character in such a way where it makes sense that these lines come out of that mouth, right? I mean, like, it's a different.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  Yes, and it's a, it's a serious director. Yeah, it's scary. And it's with real actors, and that's gonna be, yeah.

• 36:58Jason Bateman?

  Oh, boy.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  I'm not, I mean, not real act, I'm not like shitting on my friends.

• 37:01Will Arnett?

  Well, yes, you are. Yeah, you are.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  No, this one's real, it's not that bullshit.

• 37:09Will Arnett?

  What does your, what does your family think about, uh, could you talk about your family sometimes in your, in your standup and you, and you're obviously really close to them. What do they, what's their reaction been to all of it? Are they like caught up in the whirlwind to the, are they, are they freaked out?

• 37:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, it took them, it took them a while. They, uh, yeah, they weren't on board for a long time. And then, uh, especially early, like I did a YouTube special was like the first thing I put out and in it, I talk about, uh, my sister and her addiction. They're like, I talked about my sister doing heroin on a YouTube special and she was like, what the fuck? Trust me, trust me, it's gonna work for us.

• 37:52Will Arnett?

  Trust me, it's gonna pay off for me.

• 37:56Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  No, she got an apartment and a Chevy Cruze out of it. She's all right.

• 37:59Sean Hayes?

  Okay, sure, sure. Chevy Cruze, there you go. Um, how do you like life on the road? How do you like, uh, you know, what is that like from a social standpoint? You know, I'm sure you're not meeting a lot of new friends out there. Um, you know, like what's dating like and all that kind of stuff? Were you married?

• 38:16Speaker 03

  Uh, I'm not married. I have a girlfriend. Uh, she lives here with me in Austin. Uh, she comes on the road sometimes if it's, if it's like a cool venue. She'll come like this weekend. I'm going to, tomorrow I gotta go to Knoxville, Tennessee and then Birmingham, Alabama. So I'm, I think she's gonna sit this one out.

• 38:32Sean Hayes?

  Okay.

• 38:37Sean Hayes?

  How do you get your, how do you, because when you're not in the mood, you know, you're set to go on at a certain time. It's kind of like Broadway or theater, whatever. It doesn't, you can't have a headache. You can't have a stomach ache. You can't like, you have to go on. You have to deliver, right? So how do you, how do you get by that? Like, how do you prepare yourself?

• 38:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:53Sean Hayes?

  If you're not feeling.

• 38:55Will Arnett?

  And Jason also has a follow up question for sure. What happens when you have to take a shit depending on what you eat? Jason, we'll get to that in a second.

• 39:01Jason Bateman?

  Cause if you haven't emptied, you know, you got.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  The shit goes away, right away. The adrenaline, the adrenaline of the standup, the shit goes away. The headache goes away. The nausea, like, cause I've done shows, a lot of shows hungover and I've been like, oh, this is gonna be terrible. And then as soon as you get on stage, it. It cares it.

• 39:21Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, interesting.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  Other than one, I had one show. I did Crypto Arena in LA. And it was, I did the Forum the night before. It was the best week ever. I did The Greek the night before, then the Forum, then Crypto.

• 39:35Sean Hayes?

  Wow.

• 39:35Speaker 03

  It was incredible. But after the Forum, I'm buddies with Post Malone and he came to the show. We're hanging out and he's, it's like 2 AM after the show. I have to do Crypto in the morning, but he was like, "Do you want to come to my studio and listen to my new album?"

• 39:50Sean Hayes?

  Oh.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  And I was like, "Yeah, definitely." So then he kept us there. We drank till like 6 AM and the whole time I was looking at my watch like, "Oh shit."

• 39:59Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  Uh, so then I wake up and it's, I wake up at like 4 PM. The car is outside to take me to my next show. And I was like, "All right, this, this hangover will go away. I've done this a million times." The hangover just didn't go away on stage and I kind of fucking bombed at Crypto.

• 40:16Sean Hayes?

  Oh, really?

• 40:16Will Arnett?

  No, no.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was like the biggest show of my life.

• 40:19Sean Hayes?

  Did you let the crowd know?

• 40:21Speaker 03

  They could see it. There was a jumbo drop on my face. They could see.

• 40:26Will Arnett?

  They could smell it on the jumbo drop.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  They could smell light beer.

• 40:32Sean Hayes?

  So Shane, do you have anything like, you know, for endurance when you perform on stage? Like, do you work out? Like, how do you keep up your energy?

• 40:40Speaker 03

  I, I'm, I just, I literally just started a trainer. I'm on week two. I gotta go to that today.

• 40:47Sean Hayes?

  Good for you.

• 40:48Speaker 03

  Saw some photos and I was like, "All right, it's time to..."

• 40:51Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah. How do you, how do you like that, an appointment for, for working out?

• 40:56Speaker 03

  I, I need it. Otherwise I would, you know, after this I would go, "Well, that was tough. That was a long day. I'm gonna take a nap."

• 41:04Sean Hayes?

  You're right. I'm kind of the same way.

• 41:07Will Arnett?

  Well, Sean, Sean, I was gonna say, and Shane, I'll pose it to you too. You know, obviously, diet is such a huge thing, like the things that you put in. And Sean, Sean, we always say Sean eats like he's going to a 12-year-old's birthday party every meal, every day.

• 41:21Sean Hayes?

  It's true.

• 41:22Will Arnett?

  It's true. He, right, Sean?

• 41:24Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, it's true.

• 41:25Will Arnett?

  What, what did you have? What have you had so far today of anything?

• 41:28Sean Hayes?

  Well, it's so funny you say that. I did- Have a Pop-Tart, but then after, I'm just saying, I really did, but then I had a bowl, like I had yogurt with berries, because I was like, I have to balance it with something.

• 41:40Will Arnett?

  You have to offset it.

• 41:40Sean Hayes?

  But then like, but my brain works in the way that like, well, I did that so I can have spaghetti for lunch.

• 41:45Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 41:46Jason Bateman?

  And do you have dessert at lunch? You do, don't you?

• 41:49Sean Hayes?

  Sometimes I do.

• 41:51Will Arnett?

  But JB, like, we'll play golf and he'll be like, hey, can I just get a couple slices of apples and a handful of nuts, please? And then that's all he'll eat. And this is, I'm not making, I'm not even exaggerating. That's what it'll have. And I said to him one time, I said, you know what? You're doing all this, eating nuts and the thing, and you're still, you're gonna fucking die at 65 and I'm gonna be standing at your bed, at your hospital bed, eating a sundae with 30 years to go. You know what I mean?

• 42:15Jason Bateman?

  But I'll, but I'll look nice and thin there in the box.

• 42:18Will Arnett?

  Jesus.

• 42:21Will Arnett?

  Jesus.

• 42:22Jason Bateman?

  Oh, he died without any water weight. Look at him. Beautiful.

• 42:25Will Arnett?

  Shane, what do you think? What do you, so now you're gonna go do this serious movie with these serious actors? And again, no, no offense to your buddies.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  Hopefully, yeah.

• 42:35Will Arnett?

  Hopefully. Right. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully. But i- is that for you? Is that the target for you? Is that what you want to do? Are you doing it just because you have opportunity and it's coming at you? Like, where do you see yourself? Do you have a plan for the next five years? Or are you just like, fuck it, whatever happens, happens?

• 42:52Speaker 03

  I think it's more fuck it, whatever happens. I'd like to just kind of work with my friends, kind of, if I could, the goal would probably be like the Sandler, Sandler route, which is just

• 43:04Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  putting out movies with me and my friends. Um, and then stand up. I'll always, stand up's always number one.

• 43:11Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 43:12Speaker 03

  Just stick with that.

• 43:13Will Arnett?

  Would you consider stand up like your job and your hobby in a way? Like, you just love doing it when you have time?

• 43:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, for sure. People are like, yeah, that's the only thing I do, really. People are like, what do you, what do you, what else do you do? It's like, that's kind of it.

• 43:26Sean Hayes?

  That's it. So your days are filled with maybe getting a, going to the gym with a, with a trainer?

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Maybe go to the gym, buy the Xbox, then uh,

• 43:34Sean Hayes?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Pretty pathetic.

• 43:37Jason Bateman?

  What's the, what's the current Xbox favorite?

• 43:41Speaker 03

  Uh, right now, I, there's a game called Hell That Loose that's uh, It's pretty awesome. It's just a World War II.

• 43:48Sean Hayes?

  What's it called?

• 43:49Speaker 03

  Hell Let Loose.

• 43:50Sean Hayes?

  Hell Let Loose. Is there a headset involved with this?

• 43:53Speaker 03

  There, there is. People take it very seriously, which is pretty funny. Like, guys, it's, it's like a-

• 43:58Will Arnett?

  You do multi- are you in multi- playing multiplayer?

• 44:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's multiplayer and guys take it very seriously. It's like a World War II, like, simulation, so-

• 44:06Sean Hayes?

  Oh, wow.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  You know, there's no radar or anything. Like, it's, uh, it's very funny. There's guys, like, you'll hear, you'll turn your headphone on, guys will be like, "I need ammo on this hill. Where are the fuckers?" It's pretty funny. It's really funny.

• 44:19Will Arnett?

  That is so- that sounds so crazy, and also, how do you spell that?

• 44:26Speaker 03

  No, the game rules.

• 44:28Will Arnett?

  Who are your guy- who are your- did you have stand-up idols, Shane? Or do you?

• 44:33Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I was- it was always Louis and, uh, Chappelle and-

• 44:37Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 44:39Will Arnett?

  Was it surreal when you started doing it and then you started seeing those guys out in the world? Was that surreal as hell?

• 44:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, now I'm like, I'm friends with both of them. It's, it's crazy. I was just in Ohio. I was just at Dave's house two weeks ago.

• 44:52Sean Hayes?

  Wow.

• 44:52Speaker 03

  And he built a club and he basically owns the entire town. He does this thing where he brings in, like, mu- like, music to this small town, like, an hour outside of Columbus, Ohio, where, like, I was there a couple of weeks ago and it was, like, Wu-Tang was there in a-

• 45:11Sean Hayes?

  What?

• 45:12Speaker 03

  Tiny, two-hundred-seat room in a, an old firehouse in Yellow Springs, Ohio. I mean, it's crazy what he's doing.

• 45:19Sean Hayes?

  That's amazing. That's cool. Do you ever want to do anything like that? Like, if with, as, as you go on-

• 45:24Will Arnett?

  Do you want to build your own town?

• 45:26Sean Hayes?

  Or you want to do a hip-hop band?

• 45:27Speaker 03

  I don't think, um-

• 45:28Will Arnett?

  Do you want to be in Wu-Tang?

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Good enough to build a town. Yeah, I do want to be in Wu-Tang.

• 45:33Sean Hayes?

  You're the best.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  I don't smoke weed, but I had to smoke a lot.

• 45:37Sean Hayes?

  No, I mean, wouldn't that be, wouldn't that be cool? I mean, your, your, your star is rising so quickly and so great and so- You know, incredible that, that, you know, do you ever aspire to be like those guys? To have that kind of ability to do things like that?

• 45:52Speaker 03

  I think that would require a lot of longevity and we'll see, we'll see if I have it.

• 45:55Sean Hayes?

  I think you have it, I think you have it.

• 45:56Will Arnett?

  You're not, you're not really bullish on your, on your, on your future, on your mortality right now.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  It rose, it rose too fast and now people are gonna go, alright, that guy, fucking Bud Light commercial guy, get him out of here.

• 46:08Sean Hayes?

  No, no, no.

• 46:10Will Arnett?

  I fucking love, by the way, I love your Bud Light commercials. I fucking, they're, they're hilarious.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  I like them.

• 46:16Will Arnett?

  I'm not, I'm not fucking joking, they're really funny. What's the one where you're standing behind the guy and they're asking him and then you just start drinking? I'm like, that's, this is funny. It's hard to make a funny commercial, man. It's a very short amount of time, that's a very tough medium.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 46:29Will Arnett?

  We know, we do it too.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you guys did great.

• 46:32Sean Hayes?

  Oh, thanks, yeah.

• 46:33Will Arnett?

  I don't know, you ever seen that dog shit one that Sean and Jason did? It was fucking terrible.

• 46:36Sean Hayes?

  Well, listen, you know.

• 46:38Speaker 03

  Which one's that?

• 46:38Will Arnett?

  Exactly, which one's that? They made so many dog shit commercials, these guys.

• 46:43Sean Hayes?

  I love you, Sean. I love you, JB. You're such a great work partner.

• 46:47Will Arnett?

  Oh, God, you guys are the fucking worst. Shane, listen, man, you're such a great dude, you're such a fucking funny dude, you've been so kind and generous to me personally, so I appreciate it. Thanks for coming to do this, we wish you all the best. You got Tire Season 2 premieres June 2nd on Netflix.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  Uh, 5th.

• 47:05Will Arnett?

  June, sorry, is that right? June 5th, yeah, good for you, thank you, sorry about that. June 5th, now we got to say it a few times. So, June 5th on Netflix, uh, you, you're on tour right now, you're touring like internationally on fucking arenas, you got your podcast, you've got a tremendous amount of success, wish you continued success. You're a great dude, hilarious guy.

• 47:26Sean Hayes?

  Shane Gillis, everybody.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  I'm a big fan, big fan of all three of you guys, you guys are awesome, thank you.

• 47:31Sean Hayes?

  Thank you, Shane, back at you. Thanks for being here. Thank you for being here.

• 47:34Will Arnett?

  You're a great dude, thanks, bro.

• 47:35Speaker 03

  Uh, thank you.

• 47:38Will Arnett?

  Shane Gels.

• 47:39Sean Hayes?

  Super fun. That guy's really funny. Yeah, he's got that real chill thing going on where it's just like, he's real like, he's just a cool guy.

• 47:47Will Arnett?

  Yeah, he is. He's really low temperature. Uh, Jamie, remember we watched a bunch of his, uh, Beautiful Dog special at, at New Year's?

• 47:55Jason Bateman?

  Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's, he's got that really u- unique delivery, uh, that I find, uh, really, uh, it, it pulls you into a, a stand-up where they just, you kind of get into their rhythm. Like, that's what I'm saying about Steven Wright. Like, that guy just like, he's like Mike Myers in Halloween, you know? He always walks towards the victim and never runs. You know?

• 48:16Sean Hayes?

  Right, right, right, yeah.

• 48:18Will Arnett?

  What a strange analogy, but you're kind of right.

• 48:23Sean Hayes?

  But he does. He pulls you in. He's, he's, he's great. I mean, I've always been, I've always thought he was so funny.

• 48:28Will Arnett?

  He's like Al Pacino in Godfather III, right? They just keep pulling you back in. You know what I mean?

• 48:32Sean Hayes?

  Godfather III?

• 48:33Jason Bateman?

  Did they make a third one?

• 48:35Will Arnett?

  They keep, Godfather III?

• 48:36Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 48:37Jason Bateman?

  It's a joke.

• 48:38Will Arnett?

  Cause it did, it underperformed. They keep pulling you back in! I love this line!

• 48:42Jason Bateman?

  Giuseppe loved that one.

• 48:44Will Arnett?

  I love a Godfather, not a Michael.

• 48:47Jason Bateman?

  Where is number four?

• 48:51Will Arnett?

  We waiting on the number four.

• 48:56Jason Bateman?

  Cuatro.

• 49:00Sean Hayes?

  Wow, you guys, when you talk like that, you really sound like you speak two languages.

• 49:04Jason Bateman?

  Really? Like, what would you call that?

• 49:06Will Arnett?

  What would that, what would that make us, Sean?

• 49:08Sean Hayes?

  Bilingual.

• 49:10Will Arnett?

  Bilingual!

• 49:26Will Arnett?

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• 49:38Speaker 04

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• 49:42Speaker 05

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• 49:57Speaker 06

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