MBMBaM 770: Hy-paw-thesis

We’ve gotten chosen to participate in some extreme versions of children’s playground games. But not the stuff you’re used to, like licking wafers. We’re talking games like zoo jogging, wing sauce mixology, and sneaking into Baskin Robbins after dark. Suggested talking points: Squid Game Den Mom, Deadly Cornhole, Five Nights at Louvries, Sydney Sweeney Todd, Gesticulatory Excitement Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hey, everybody. Welcome. My brother, my brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm the oldest brother around these parts. Justin McElroy. What up, Trav Nation? It's being your middlest brother Travis McElroy.

• 1:19Griffin McElroy?

  What's up? It's Griffin. Great fucking news, guys. Guess what, dudes? I got great news. Things are about to turn around. Things are gonna turn around for three of us in a big nature. What?

• 1:30Travis McElroy?

  Oh, I've been waiting for him to turn around.

• 1:33Griffin McElroy?

  I got my letter yesterday in the mail. I got picked for the next Squid Game.

• 1:39Travis McElroy?

  Oh, Griffin.

• 1:42Griffin McElroy?

  They got, they're gonna get, I'm gonna be in the, I'm gonna do the next Squid Game.

• 1:45Travis McElroy?

  I will say, um, I only know a little bit about the franchise. I didn't know that they communicated via the US Postal Service.

• 1:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I was surprised too. I think that's how they do it in the sort of North American branch.

• 2:02Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay.

• 2:03Griffin McElroy?

  No one's really checking that shit anyway.

• 2:05Travis McElroy?

  Oh. I just don't like when they adapt it, you know what I mean? The American Squid Game is gonna be so weird comparatively.

• 2:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, for sure, for sure, for sure. The games I will be a little bit more familiar with probably. These deadly backyard games.

• 2:20Travis McElroy?

  Right. Like Deadly Cornhole and stuff like that?

• 2:23Griffin McElroy?

  Deadly Cornhole, I have heard they did that last Squid Game, so I doubt they're gonna bring it back for another one. But it was like Cornhole, but the Cornhole board had a big landmine in it.

• 2:33Travis McElroy?

  Oh, man.

• 2:34Griffin McElroy?

  So if you hit it, it blew up the other team and they died.

• 2:37Travis McElroy?

  Maybe regular lawn darts?

• 2:39Griffin McElroy?

  Regular, it's just called fast lawn darts. That was, again, that was last season they got you with that, so probably no repeats there.

• 2:46Travis McElroy?

  I'm gonna be working this season Griffin as a den mom.

• 2:50Griffin McElroy?

  On Squid Game?

• 2:51Travis McElroy?

  In the Squid Game this year. I'm gonna be, they'll probably put me in a different region, but.

• 2:55Griffin McElroy?

  What's that mean? What do you do?

• 2:57Travis McElroy?

  Basically, I'm the guy who, after the Squid Game, if you die, I get your stuff and I put it in a trash bag and toss it down a trash chute. And if you don't die, I give you a juice box and a banana flavored Little Debbie.

• 3:11Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, cool. A banana flavored Little Debbie.

• 3:14Travis McElroy?

  Banana cake Little Debbie is the only one we got in stock. They're so good, yeah. You get, it's like a moon pie, but worse. Well, I'll see if I can work on that, Justin. I got hired to do craft services.

• 3:24Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool. For, sorry, I need to be very clear that I am not talking. Okay, good. I didn't, I guess they do feed them. You do gotta feed them, I guess?

• 3:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, can I tell you, I'm freaking out though, because I kinda committed to catering for like 600 people. I told them I could do it, and they said, you have like a company and stuff, and I said, yeah, I don't.

• 3:45Griffin McElroy?

  See, that's funny you said that, because my letter said, bring your food from home. They said, bring a bag lunch. And I said, won't I be there for six days? And they were like, yeah, but you're not gonna be around for six. Let's be honest, man. You're not gonna be able to hang. Just the one bag lunch will get you there.

• 4:00Travis McElroy?

  They do the first game, first thing on the first day, and then you end up with twice as many lunches as there are people. And then you just keep halving it and go on.

• 4:11Griffin McElroy?

  Then it filters down. You're right, Trav. Yeah.

• 4:13Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, you just have to hope that there will be an understanding amongst all the participants that you will be killed later at some point. And it is not an urgent thing that you have to be killed immediately.

• 4:23Griffin McElroy?

  Keep me around as a special little snack. You know what I mean?

• 4:26Travis McElroy?

  Like something, yeah. It's always nice to know when you're in a squigging scenario, and God knows the three of us have been there too many times. It's nice to have.

• 4:33Griffin McElroy?

  I've never been in a Squid game. This is my first Squid game. Yeah. Have you been in a Squid game?

• 4:37Travis McElroy?

  Oh, a couple, yeah.

• 4:38Griffin McElroy?

  Shit, man. Wait, how come you don't have like a billion, billion dollars?

• 4:42Travis McElroy?

  I gave it away. That's in Juan. Yeah.

• 4:45Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 4:46Travis McElroy?

  I gave it, I gave it to Juan. My friend Juan, he has it. It's in Juan's pocket. Travis gave it to Juan. It was all in crypto, which was the mistake I made.

• 4:56Griffin McElroy?

  You just gave your friend Juan a flash drive.

• 4:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, but it's important that you pick somebody where you're like, I don't like them. Nobody does. And so when we get to the inevitable scenario where they're like, you have to kill somebody to move on to the next one. We've kept him around for that.

• 5:12Griffin McElroy?

  I'm not gonna, I don't wanna do that. If the games are like, you gotta kill someone, I'll be like, mm, pass. Cause they let you pass one game. If there's a game they say like, today.

• 5:20Travis McElroy?

  Man, I wish I'd known that, man.

• 5:22Griffin McElroy?

  That today, they're like, today we're playing um, four square, but instead of the ball, we're gonna use um, a gun. And you bounce the gun on the ground, and then you have to use it and hurt someone. I would say, pass.

• 5:33Travis McElroy?

  Can I tell you the worst part about being on a Squid game, Griffin? And you have this to dread, the wafers. Oh my God, you gotta sign so many wafers.

• 5:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:42Travis McElroy?

  Those little cookie things? No, that's great. That's why they brought me in to do craft services, because I know the recipe for the wafers. I got, I, you know what, guys? Kidding aside, those little wafers, the, the, where you gotta etch those out with a needle.

• 5:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:57Travis McElroy?

  They're, they're the same, they're sea foam candy, basically. Wait, do I have to make those? Well, they're one of my favorite candies and my problem is I'm such a little stinker.

• 6:08Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, for sure.

• 6:08Travis McElroy?

  That I'd get in there and start trying to get out my umbrella or my diamond or whatever. And I think, mm hmm.

• 6:14Griffin McElroy?

  Mm hmm.

• 6:14Travis McElroy?

  You know, like I'd get hungry. I'd start with the scraps.

• 6:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:17Travis McElroy?

  I'd break off parts and be like, mm hmm.

• 6:20Griffin McElroy?

  In the Squid Game they did for Netflix.

• 6:22Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:23Griffin McElroy?

  Where they filmed one of them.

• 6:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:24Griffin McElroy?

  That was great. Put it on Netflix.

• 6:25Travis McElroy?

  Bold, a bold choice. Um, they got exactly the right lesson from putting that on their network.

• 6:30Griffin McElroy?

  The guy, absolutely. Mr. Beast at least took, had a great takeaway from that series. The guy who solved it, the hero, licks the back of it to weaken the structure of it so he can carve it out. But the, I'm, I'm thinking, yeah, right, Buster. You just want, you wanted to lick some of that foam. I can tell.

• 6:47Travis McElroy?

  So sorry, when you said the Squid Games they filmed for Netflix.

• 6:50Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 6:50Travis McElroy?

  You meant?

• 6:51Griffin McElroy?

  Of the many Squid Game they do.

• 6:53Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. The Squid Game, not the Squid Games.

• 6:56Griffin McElroy?

  They recorded one of them a few years back and they put it up on Netflix, called it Squid Games.

• 7:01Travis McElroy?

  Sorry.

• 7:02Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, but wait, but wait.

• 7:02Travis McElroy?

  You guys been saying Squid Games? Cause I thought you were saying like Disney's Kid Games where you went and you competed. Yeah, I was doing like Wild and Crazy Kids. Quit. And I was. Squid Games that they filmed was the ones that they did with actual people for real stakes. That's what I thought you meant because they actually did the Squid Games with real people.

• 7:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, they did a weird knockoff where I guess the, where the real world guys were like, and now we're doing Squid Game. And it's like, they're already doing Squid Game, dude. You don't need to also do Squid Game. They just recorded a Squid Game.

• 7:34Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Do you like your chances?

• 7:37Griffin McElroy?

  No, absolutely not. Law of large numbers. There's like 500 of these fucking guys that I'm going up against. I do not like my chances. The only game I was ever good at, at the schoolyard was Foursquare. I don't mean to brag, but I. That's not, that doesn't really count.

• 7:54Travis McElroy?

  The only thing I ever did was Cookie Crunching and that's hard for me because I feel like my one skill's not gonna be that good. Cause I always see that wafer and I'll think, I'm, I'm.

• 8:02Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 8:03Travis McElroy?

  Delicious. I don't think, I'm, I'm, let's talk, I don't wanna.

• 8:08Griffin McElroy?

  You don't wanna, I don't wanna do Squid Game.

• 8:09Travis McElroy?

  I'm second guessing the shirt. That's what I.

• 8:12Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man, no, the shirt beats that shirt.

• 8:14Travis McElroy?

  I, I don't know, man. I feel like I look like Beetlejuice got a wish and became a real boy. I don't.

• 8:19Griffin McElroy?

  No! You look like Beetlejuice coming out of the jungle mists.

• 8:25Travis McElroy?

  I don't think I didn't get. Like Beetlejuice on safari? I didn't get Beetlejuice at all. I got like a cool character that everybody likes on White Lotus.

• 8:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:34Travis McElroy?

  Like I was pushing myself too far.

• 8:36Griffin McElroy?

  No, man.

• 8:36Travis McElroy?

  You know, Goggins would wear that. I don't know the show, but Goggins would wear that. But you know the feeling, I don't want to talk about the shirt specifically. I want to talk about the feeling of when you put on a garment where you know you're pushing it a little bit. I've never felt that, Justin. You are lying about who you are and you're hoping everyone else just kind of goes with it and doesn't point out that.

• 8:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:56Travis McElroy?

  No, I don't think so.

• 8:58Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 8:58Travis McElroy?

  Big shot McElroy. What's that feel like?

• 9:00Griffin McElroy?

  I think it's okay to step into that. We all wear masks.

• 9:04Travis McElroy?

  Oh. Jim Carrey said that. I have a Japanese style, I have a Japanese style, uh, like jacket that was, that was advertised to me on Facebook. It's like a tasteful, elegant jacket that ties at the front.

• 9:20Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 9:20Travis McElroy?

  With a tasteful tie and. Are you just bragging or? No, it's been hanging in my closet for several months.

• 9:26Griffin McElroy?

  Like a, a yukata for boys?

• 9:29Travis McElroy?

  Perhaps. Every time that I take it down, I think perhaps this is the elegant occasion where I'm gonna, where I'm gonna wear this garment.

• 9:36Griffin McElroy?

  I must, I must protest.

• 9:40Griffin McElroy?

  I simply must, I must stand on, stand on business right now, Justin, and tell you, I don't think so.

• 9:46Travis McElroy?

  I disagree. Listen, Griffin, we are in, as you could tell from my lack of ever wearing it, a hundred percent agree.

• 9:53Griffin McElroy?

  Full agreement.

• 9:54Travis McElroy?

  Full agreement, yeah. Well, Justin, I disagree with Griffin here. It's the first time it's ever happened, but I'm gonna say, when you put on a garment, you must ask yourself, who is wearing who? And I think that if you put that, that elegant jacket on and you second guess yourself, that jacket's wearing you, my man. And that's not the case. You gotta put that jacket on and, and make that jacket your own and know that you're wearing it.

• 10:18Griffin McElroy?

  Jackets are like, damn, that, you're looking good, other jacket, what is that? And they're like, it's a Justin. He's so fly.

• 10:24Travis McElroy?

  I'm saying though, that by wearing, the wearing of this, uh, frock would, I know that I would have to believe it to pull it off.

• 10:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 10:31Travis McElroy?

  And that belief would represent such an incredible act of. Hubris on my part. That's what they don't tell you about the emperor's new clothes is that there's a version of that where everybody's like, listen, I know he's not wearing any clothes, but that man's confident as hell. Look at that dude.

• 10:46Griffin McElroy?

  Hanging brain out in the public yard.

• 10:48Travis McElroy?

  And I think we're supposed to mock him in that story, but here's a dude who looks at himself naked and says, I look so good that even though, listen, I'm in on it too. I know I'm naked, but damn, look at this.

• 11:02Griffin McElroy?

  There's an alternate ending of that story where that kingdom becomes a naked kingdom. And everyone's like, damn, he's so brave and bold. What are we doing with these things? Why are we ashamed of these forms that God gave us is a religious story in my version of it.

• 11:15Travis McElroy?

  And then, I'm sorry, go ahead.

• 11:16Griffin McElroy?

  And then everyone would be naked. Go ahead. I'm done now.

• 11:18Travis McElroy?

  Beautiful. Give me 30 seconds.

• 11:20Griffin McElroy?

  Oh.

• 11:21Travis McElroy?

  Last chance to get your bets in on whether you think I pull it off. I'll come back in.

• 11:25Griffin McElroy?

  Are you gonna change?

• 11:26Travis McElroy?

  I know exactly where it is.

• 11:28Griffin McElroy?

  The jacket?

• 11:29Travis McElroy?

  Seconds. Yeah. I'm gonna put it on and then we'll get an official vote. Okay, Griffin and I will talk about it.

• 11:34Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 11:35Travis McElroy?

  No matter what, we should give it 10 out of 10.

• 11:38Griffin McElroy?

  Well, hmm, it's gonna depend entirely on the length for me.

• 11:43Travis McElroy?

  Oh, really? What length works for you?

• 11:46Griffin McElroy?

  If it's a jacket with a cinch, we could, there's interpretations of that that I think work for Justin. If it is knee length, all of a sudden, um, I don't think you.

• 12:00Travis McElroy?

  If it's a mid thigh, I think I would enjoy it.

• 12:03Griffin McElroy?

  Mid thigh is even approaching, is approaching the danger zone for me, if I'm being honest.

• 12:09Travis McElroy?

  Well, there's a shortness too that wouldn't work.

• 12:11Griffin McElroy?

  Well, yeah, man. Well, I don't know, cause I kinda like a fucking like cyberpunk crop top jacket. I think Justin could pull one of those off really fucking good.

• 12:18Travis McElroy?

  Well, but then why would it have a cinch? Why would it have a tie if it's a crop top?

• 12:23Griffin McElroy?

  You don't need a cinch for a crop top. Yeah, no, I mean, that would be like so.

• 12:25Travis McElroy?

  Defeating the purpose, one might argue.

• 12:27Griffin McElroy?

  Just go around your armpits. I don't know where the cinch would even go at that point.

• 12:30Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. All right, here we go.

• 12:33Griffin McElroy?

  All right, let's see it. Maximize your window for the full effect.

• 12:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Good call. Oh, I like the color.

• 12:44Griffin McElroy?

  What material is this?

• 12:46Travis McElroy?

  Huh?

• 12:46Griffin McElroy?

  What material is this that we're talking about?

• 12:48Travis McElroy?

  I have, uh, I don't know, let's see some of the details.

• 12:54Griffin McElroy?

  That's the washing.

• 12:55Travis McElroy?

  It's a hundred percent technical polyester. Oh, technical polyester. So you could do like work in it. So, so I roll up to the function.

• 13:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:05Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 13:06Griffin McElroy?

  Bind it, cinch it.

• 13:08Travis McElroy?

  This is, I mean.

• 13:09Griffin McElroy?

  This is not what I was expecting. I was expecting more of a, more of a yukata. This is just like a.

• 13:14Travis McElroy?

  I'm saying if you had a clean, clean crisp white shirt.

• 13:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:20Travis McElroy?

  Maybe an ass. If I had, like me, Justin Tyler McElroy, like I'm the person who's doing this. Okay.

• 13:27Griffin McElroy?

  I tell you, man, I'll tell you what it's giving me. And you can take this how you want it and sort of measure yourself against it if that is how you choose. This is giving me Ethan Hunt on the lam in Jakarta or something like fucking running along rooftops. Like it's giving you kind of action jacket.

• 13:44Travis McElroy?

  You're saying if I make a hole with a gun perpendicular to me, who I am on the planet, the absolute opposite.

• 13:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:53Travis McElroy?

  A hundred percent.

• 13:53Griffin McElroy?

  Through the mantle.

• 13:54Travis McElroy?

  I think it's the mantle core of the earth pops out the hundred percent opposite furthest I could be from how I should be dressed. Like the biggest possible miss is what you're saying. Here's what I'll say. The fit is great.

• 14:07Griffin McElroy?

  The fit is right.

• 14:09Travis McElroy?

  And I think if you rolled up to like a backyard barbecue.

• 14:14Griffin McElroy?

  The tummy bolo I could honestly do without.

• 14:19Travis McElroy?

  But I'm saying the T-shirt underneath makes it look like not right. But if you had. Shirt underneath is because the Beetlejuice shirt would look absolutely wild. Um, cool sunglasses. You were out at a summer barbecue.

• 14:34Griffin McElroy?

  What are those?

• 14:34Travis McElroy?

  Or a patio party. I was taking off my sunglasses.

• 14:37Griffin McElroy?

  Those are so small, man. Your fingers were so little. Why?

• 14:40Travis McElroy?

  If you had some Morpheus, some cool Morpheus glasses.

• 14:44Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah, dude, some, dude, some Morpheus half moon glasses. This should be a new segment on the show, fit check. Some Morpheus half moon glasses, sunglasses with that untied, very, very, uh, short yukata, I think is a strong fucking look. Those are not, I'm gonna be half moon.

• 15:04Travis McElroy?

  You think these gunners with it? Is this selling it?

• 15:06Griffin McElroy?

  No, I don't think it, the gamer glasses actually fully ruins it. Fully, fully ruins it, man.

• 15:12Travis McElroy?

  All right. Well, thank you guys for indulging me.

• 15:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure. Of course.

• 15:15Travis McElroy?

  I think I think you could pull it off.

• 15:18Travis McElroy?

  Well, we just demonstrated the opposite. So your hypothetical. Is that what you took away from that? The problem is the shorts.

• 15:23Griffin McElroy?

  You when you.

• 15:24Travis McElroy?

  The shorts were. Elegant slacks with it.

• 15:26Griffin McElroy?

  If I saw the car, I saw the cargo pockets peeking up over those, over that jacket.

• 15:30Travis McElroy?

  That's the problem.

• 15:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:32Travis McElroy?

  I'm just saying, when you rolled up in that jacket, it was not a no for me, that there was potential there. I think you could do it.

• 15:39Travis McElroy?

  There will come a day, don't get rid of it, is what I'm saying. There will come a day where you wake up. Yeah, it would, what I do with my clothes is I donate them to Harmony House. And I feel like that jacket would land even worse there than it is in my home, honestly. If that's even less appropriate there, I don't know.

• 15:55Griffin McElroy?

  Some confusion. Yeah.

• 15:56Travis McElroy?

  There would be some mild, yeah, there's a, yeah.

• 16:01Travis McElroy?

  Here's our first question. I work at the zoo as a lion scientist. Lion scientist.

• 16:06Griffin McElroy?

  Fucking hell, man. Cool. You learn about so many cool fucking jobs through this show, don't you guys?

• 16:12Travis McElroy?

  I'm glad that I, it does sound like a lion who's a scientist. That would be a scientist lion, I guess.

• 16:18Griffin McElroy?

  It does sound like a lion who's a scientist, but I love that there's enough.

• 16:21Travis McElroy?

  Can I say so far, you don't know if that's true, because if a lion was a scientist, they would be able to write an email to a podcast. I guess that's true. I assumed they would be doing lion-based science, which I think shows a lot of ignorance on my end. Yeah, but they work at the zoo because it's a fucking lion, man. You'd be running around in public. Oh, maybe they work at the zoo like a writer might write at a coffee shop. Right? Where it's just like, I don't work at the coffee shop. I do my work at the coffee shop. They're being polite. They live in a zoo. It's a, it's a lion. You know what I mean? Like, they're being tasteful about it.

• 16:56Griffin McElroy?

  Would a lion doing lion experiments have like hypotheses like, what happened? I eat too.

• 17:03Travis McElroy?

  Hypotheses?

• 17:04Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you. What happened? I eat too? Pig tummy hurt? Like?

• 17:06Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 17:08Griffin McElroy?

  Drink from, drink, I'll, I drink, uh, yucky water, tummy hurt. Like a lot of just sort of like figuring out if tummy hurt when.

• 17:16Travis McElroy?

  Where, where does Gazelle go after eat?

• 17:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Where does Gazelle go after eat? My hypothesis, sharks.

• 17:24Travis McElroy?

  What is red watering?

• 17:27Travis McElroy?

  Why delicious? Why delicious?

• 17:29Griffin McElroy?

  The question I, the lion scientist, have to ask is how come the circle of life features so much poop? Has so much defecate? Circle of life is more of a sine wave of life where it's like, oh, a thing is alive. And then something eats it and turns it into poop. And then that goes right back to grass. It just kind of grass guy, grass guy, you know?

• 17:47Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. I'm just saying that if I was a lionist and I'm at the zoo, I would have so many chances to see people cooking and eating food that they would look at like the raw shit they're eating and go, huh?

• 18:00Griffin McElroy?

  A lot of cooking happening at the zoo that I'm not aware of?

• 18:04Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man. People gotta eat. People gotta eat.

• 18:07Griffin McElroy?

  But from the lion exhibit?

• 18:09Travis McElroy?

  That's the whole appeal of the aquarium.

• 18:11Griffin McElroy?

  Is you get to see people cooking?

• 18:13Travis McElroy?

  No, it's just you go to the aquarium and you go, man, I want to eat the fish. Eat that.

• 18:17Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, I would love to keep reading this question.

• 18:19Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah, right. This one. Oh, yeah. Make it past the first sentence if you insist. This comes with unlimited free zoo access during opening hours. Additionally, my girlfriend and I love jogging together. The city I live in does not have many good parks for jogging, but the zoo has a lot of open green spaces and pedestrianized paths. You know, you know, I read these.

• 18:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 18:41Travis McElroy?

  When you write them, you know, I read them out loud. Don't do things like that.

• 18:45Griffin McElroy?

  Drop a little couch trips for you along the way.

• 18:47Travis McElroy?

  Pedestrianized, yeah, thank you. Hey, I'm just saying, question asker, that makes it sound like they didn't begin as paths for pedestrians, but pedestrians have taken them over.

• 18:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 18:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 18:56Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 18:56Travis McElroy?

  I've seen nobody jog at the zoo ever, but people do come in to walk with their dogs. How can I start jogging at the zoo without alerting the zoo's security and losing my job? This is from Tid and Tid and Tid and Tid and Tid Park. Berlin. That must be a weird fucking experience for a dog.

• 19:14Travis McElroy?

  To go and walk around the zoo?

• 19:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure.

• 19:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Where the dog's like, I have a hard time with squirrels. What the fuck is that?

• 19:22Griffin McElroy?

  It would be like if you took me on a trip to monster jail. And it was like humans, sort of, but they were 12 feet tall with like claws and crazy shit.

• 19:32Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 19:32Griffin McElroy?

  I was like, cool, cool. They look alarmingly like me, cool.

• 19:35Travis McElroy?

  So you're saying stay small? Say nice, I guess.

• 19:39Griffin McElroy?

  I feel like the zoo is one of those places you cannot run, like a poolside or a courthouse or there's not a lot of places, but I feel like zoo is one of those places. Because if I see someone running at the zoo, I'm also going to start running at the zoo.

• 19:55Travis McElroy?

  Yes, so right.

• 19:56Griffin McElroy?

  Because the gorillas are, the gorillas gone out.

• 19:58Travis McElroy?

  I a hundred percent agree with you. I feel like running at the zoo is like yelling fire in a crowded theater.

• 20:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:05Travis McElroy?

  There is an assumption if you're running at the zoo. Now, I think I also have an assumption that even if you weren't being chased, by running at the zoo and running past the large animals there, I feel like you're running the risk of triggering some sort of biological.

• 20:21Griffin McElroy?

  Absolutely.

• 20:22Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean?

• 20:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:23Travis McElroy?

  Normally they wouldn't, but they're like, something in their brains like, gotta kill it.

• 20:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sure.

• 20:28Travis McElroy?

  Gotta do it. Go. I think that there is a level of animation one could achieve to like a high, a hyper jogging animation one might see on a cartoon, where people will be like, that's jogging, right? Where there's no panic there.

• 20:45Griffin McElroy?

  Sweatband, you, oh, yeah, okay, good point.

• 20:46Travis McElroy?

  And you're like fully pumping. Sweatband, short shorts.

• 20:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, ankle weights, wrist weights.

• 20:52Travis McElroy?

  That's why, that's why the mall, the Heinz Mall printed out those T-shirts and said like, I'm not insane, I paid to be a mall walker, which maybe that makes me insane, I don't know. You gotta pay? Yeah, man, because you get in early. You can go in before, like, that's how some people got, like, would get early in line for consoles. They would pay to be a mall walker and they would go walk up to the babbages and stand outside of it and then go get a console. That's a very generational indication that an, of an age where someone would be worried that the mall might be too crowded to walk around in during business hours.

• 21:32Griffin McElroy?

  Fair point.

• 21:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, or maybe they just don't want a bunch of fucking jabronis with Forever 21 bags slowing down their, their critical path, right? You can't draft behind somebody with a bunch of bags from Spencer Gifts, you know what I mean? They're gonna blow your line. Yeah.

• 21:49Griffin McElroy?

  Um, no one has jogged at the zoo ever. People do come in with their dogs. Can you get a dog and run, jog with the dog?

• 21:56Travis McElroy?

  Oh, a big marmaduke type, and it looks like he's walking you. I can't help a dog. You are living in a fool's paradise. Do you think that a dog is going to run past huge animals? No way. No way. He's gonna stop and bark at them.

• 22:13Griffin McElroy?

  Um.

• 22:14Travis McElroy?

  He's gonna at least smell them.

• 22:15Griffin McElroy?

  I'm, the takeaway I'm having from this question is it's, people can bring dogs into zoos.

• 22:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:21Griffin McElroy?

  I'm having a really hard time getting past that point.

• 22:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, what if you lose it and the zookeeper's like, well? Ours now. You're an animal. You know what I mean?

• 22:29Griffin McElroy?

  It's, guess what? It's zoo now.

• 22:32Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you're part of the zoo.

• 22:36Travis McElroy?

  I was wondering the other day if my dog would bark at a dinosaur or not.

• 22:40Griffin McElroy?

  Why were you wondering about that?

• 22:41Travis McElroy?

  I think I was watching a trailer for Jurassic World and it got me thinking about, in Jurassic World, the first one, Bryce Dallas Howard talks about no one comes to the zoo, to the, to the dinosaur zoo anymore. Cause people are bored of seeing dinosaurs, so they're gonna make bigger, scarier dinosaurs. And I said, no one wants bigger, scarier dinosaurs. They want littler dinosaurs that they can keep at home.

• 23:01Griffin McElroy?

  I remember your thesis.

• 23:02Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. And then I thought, if I had like a 10 foot tall dinosaur in my backyard, would my dogs get along with it or lose their shit at it?

• 23:11Griffin McElroy?

  Your imagination is so fantastic.

• 23:15Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 23:15Griffin McElroy?

  And fantastical. And I, I find myself every day thinking how jealous I am to be able to think of things like, what if there was a 10 foot dinosaur in my backyard? I never think about shit like that.

• 23:27Travis McElroy?

  Not what if there was a 10 foot dinosaur in my backyard? How would my dogs react to a 10 foot dinosaur in my backyard?

• 23:32Griffin McElroy?

  You're, that's even a step beyond, like, first of all, I would have to imagine that I had dogs, was the type of person who liked being around dogs for extended periods of time and wanted to own a dog. And then the dinosaur thing, and then what if they met? Uh, like, that's five steps that there's, I just couldn't.

• 23:47Travis McElroy?

  Lily would get along great. Buttercup would not care for it.

• 23:49Griffin McElroy?

  Buttercup would fucking definitely not.

• 23:51Travis McElroy?

  I, I think part of the issue is.

• 23:55Travis McElroy?

  You don't see running at places. I think if you run at places where people are supposed to stop and look at stuff.

• 24:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:04Travis McElroy?

  I think it kind of screams privilege, you know? It kind of said, it would be like if you're at the museum and you're running at the museum and you're like, there's a painting. There's another painting. There's another painting. It's like, yeah, you're just blowing past them. You're not stopping to enjoy the paintings. If you run past a dolphin and the dolphin's like, look at me, I can think and I have a hole that shoots air. And you're just like, don't care. The dolphin might be like, well, a lot of people, other people used to care. You know what I mean? When they made the Flipper Show and stuff, people used to love dolphins.

• 24:32Griffin McElroy?

  You're worried about hurting the animal's feelings.

• 24:34Travis McElroy?

  Well, it's not just that. It's like if you stop to, if you stop to look at a dolphin, right? You're like, shit. You know what I mean?

• 24:42Griffin McElroy?

  Every time. Yeah.

• 24:43Travis McElroy?

  This thing's cold. It's like zipping through the water. It feels so free.

• 24:46Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 24:47Travis McElroy?

  And then, and then some guy is like, on your left, on your left. And you're like, I guess you feel like, I guess I'm kind of an idiot for looking at these stupid dolphins so long. I guess they are kind of boring. That guy just didn't even look at them. I guess I'm the idiot because that guy just ran past and didn't even look at them. I wasted my time. Maybe there's better animals that this guy knows about.

• 25:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. What is he jogging towards? And those animals, they only let a few people see them every day. He's gonna.

• 25:11Travis McElroy?

  I don't want to miss my window.

• 25:12Griffin McElroy?

  They get all used up.

• 25:13Travis McElroy?

  But here's the problem, Justin, as a man who does move quickly through museums and such.

• 25:18Griffin McElroy?

  Life.

• 25:19Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, life. I find myself when I stop to appreciate, say, a painting or an animal or whatever, the speed at which my brain goes, how long do I need to stand here and appreciate it? Before I can move on, you know, once you stop, now it's an indefinite amount of time where you're looking at a thing. Fifteen seconds and you're like, I get zebras.

• 25:42Griffin McElroy?

  Every docent I've talked to said, if they see someone looking at a painting for 15 seconds, they think this guy gets it.

• 25:49Travis McElroy?

  More than that, they're, they're case.

• 25:51Griffin McElroy?

  More than that, you, you're, you're just not gonna get it.

• 25:54Travis McElroy?

  If you're an awkward person who's thinking too much about this at a museum, you gotta practice my method. I know we've had a pretty visual episode so far, but.

• 26:02Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 26:02Travis McElroy?

  The trick is to, to not let your body ever fully stop moving. Oh, okay. You walk up and you see the art and then like, your feet slow down, but now your head's moving like, huh, you're looking at it, but then when your head stops to look, oh, now the feet are moving. Oh, now we're crossing over here, right?

• 26:19Griffin McElroy?

  And then we're kinda looking, and then we're looking at it from this angle. Yeah.

• 26:23Travis McElroy?

  And then before you know it, I'm gone.

• 26:24Griffin McElroy?

  Justin's doing a lot of.

• 26:25Travis McElroy?

  I already, I already looked at the art.

• 26:26Griffin McElroy?

  Justin's doing a lot of bending at 45 degree angles.

• 26:30Travis McElroy?

  Interesting, interesting.

• 26:31Griffin McElroy?

  And I'm turning to get a better look at it. Yeah. And then as I'm turning to get a better look at it, oh, what's that? I'm on to the next art.

• 26:37Travis McElroy?

  It also helps I find myself in that scenario. Looking at me, looking at the art would think, he looked at that fucking perfectly. He looked at it the exact right amount. He looked at it from all the right angles. He said the right things. He nodded his head. When you look at it from the last angle, if you announce, oh, okay, then, yeah, ah, okay. Yeah. The, the fucking patented, like, if you really, if you get stuck and you're like, I feel like I've been looking at this too long. People are looking at me. If you need it out, I would highly recommend the quick swoop back to look at the plate. Yeah, that breaks it.

• 27:11Griffin McElroy?

  A little nod, a little nod, acrylic, that's what I thought.

• 27:14Travis McElroy?

  Scoot your face up like you forgot, like, wait, was it acrylic or what? And then you swoop back into the plate, watercolor. Okay. And then you're like.

• 27:21Griffin McElroy?

  Then you're out of there. You're disengaged.

• 27:23Travis McElroy?

  And maybe remove your glasses and touch your eyeballs in a way it's not clear if you're just like, oh, rubbing his eyes. Or maybe there was a tear. We don't know. The plate's good if you need a reset too, because you could squint at that for a while, like you're reading it, and no one's got the patience to watch you do that.

• 27:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:39Travis McElroy?

  It's a good reset.

• 27:40Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, can I ask you guys a question hypothetical? Fun to think about, fun to talk about?

• 27:44Travis McElroy?

  Nothing that I've said has been hypothetical, by the way, or a bit. This is a hundred percent.

• 27:48Griffin McElroy?

  That's how you do it. You, you.

• 27:49Travis McElroy?

  Now I navigate the world.

• 27:50Griffin McElroy?

  Absolutely. Um, if you guys got to go in a museum and it was just gonna be you in there for like an afternoon, do you think you would have some sort of like powerful experience in there? Just given the time and freedom, do you think you would come out of there after your afternoon of solo art appreciation? Some of the great masterworks, do you think you're coming out of there like, fuck, like, I get it, I've changed now?

• 28:12Travis McElroy?

  I really get it now. If you've been creeped out by the Mona Lisa, that's different. You know what I mean? If you've been like, if you've ever had the threat, if you've ever had the thought, I think the Mona Lisa is gonna Five Nights at Freddy's me.

• 28:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:25Travis McElroy?

  Then that's really, you've experienced it on a deep level, I think.

• 28:29Griffin McElroy?

  Five Nights at Lou Vee's is something, something powerful, indeed.

• 28:33Travis McElroy?

  All the great, all the great masterworks come to life. I think you're talking about Night of the Museum, you guys.

• 28:39Griffin McElroy?

  Look at, oh, okay, yes, thank you. Travis is right, it is, yeah, it's basically Night of the Museum and.

• 28:45Travis McElroy?

  We're just backing it. Yeah, you backed it via Five Nights at Freddy's.

• 28:49Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, sorry.

• 28:50Travis McElroy?

  You got to. This was just a three-point turn, we were just backing in.

• 28:54Griffin McElroy?

  We had to stop, we had to stop, do a pit stop at Five Nights at Freddy's to get to Night of the Museum.

• 28:59Travis McElroy?

  You drove too far, you passed Night of the Museum, you had to pull into Five Nights at Freddy's driveway. And they're like, were we having guests? Oh, no, they're going back to Night of the Museum.

• 29:09Griffin McElroy?

  I'm envisioning a half corroded Cowboy Owen Wilson, just like his metal jaw hanging open, like doing his bits, being all scary coming out of the vents.

• 29:18Travis McElroy?

  I would watch that, man.

• 29:21Griffin McElroy?

  What a time.

• 29:22Travis McElroy?

  What a man, what a movie. I think we're ready for one more grown up gritty one before we call it quits on the night. Nightmare at the Museum.

• 29:31Griffin McElroy?

  Could be something, could be it.

• 29:33Travis McElroy?

  Wow, we've been talking so long, guys.

• 29:34Griffin McElroy?

  No kidding, dude.

• 29:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, dude, you know what the problem is? I just love talking to you guys.

• 29:39Griffin McElroy?

  I just love talking to you guys.

• 29:40Travis McElroy?

  But you know what I really love talking to you guys about most?

• 29:43Griffin McElroy?

  Products.

• 29:44Travis McElroy?

  Conversations that net us income.

• 29:46Griffin McElroy?

  Absolutely.

• 29:48Travis McElroy?

  Not even close, let's go.

• 29:58Travis McElroy?

  All right, guys, I'm looking at the copy here for Squarespace. It says they want us to do like a teen-focused, kind of hipper version, something that's really going to appeal to the youth.

• 30:10Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, yeah, I got it.

• 30:12Travis McElroy?

  Oh, Griffin, you got it?

• 30:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I can handle that, for sure. That's easy. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. We should say that, just to cover ourselves legally. Listen, if you own a business or are some sort of independent contractor, artist, creator of some sort, and you need an online platform where you can offer your services and get paid all in one place and get paid on time with professional on-brand invoices and online payment systems and streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools, if this is a thing that you need in your life because you're creative with no idea how this side of the world works, Squarespace can help you out. And I'm going to get to the teen stuff here in just a little bit.

• 30:57Travis McElroy?

  Okay, yeah, I didn't want to interrupt. Oh, I did want to interrupt, but I was noticing a lack of anything that would appeal to the youth demographic.

• 31:05Griffin McElroy?

  No, but they're patient, so teens, I promise I'm going to get you in the end. So Squarespace is amazing. We've all used it. I mean, the three of us, I don't know if everyone listening has used it, but the three of us have used it a bunch of times. I've made a couple of websites with it. Couldn't be easier. They look great. They have amazing templates, great support, everything that you need, and again, like a lot of great tools for helping you run a little business, if that's what your calling is. Head to Squarespace.com/MyBrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MYBROTHER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Got a number one victory royale. Yeah, Fortnite, you got it, man. Number one on the board right now, just for Tomato Town.

• 31:50Travis McElroy?

  Okay, yeah, that worked. It was a lot of it condensed right there at the end. But the, yeah, Stan's is loving it. Justin?

• 31:59Griffin McElroy?

  I punched my office chair like four times while flossing just then and it's really bad. I think I heard it.

• 32:05Travis McElroy?

  Justin, stamps.com actually is looking for the same thing, but they specifically said they wanted you to do it because they think you're the most in touch with the youth demographic.

• 32:14Griffin McElroy?

  That's so fucking crazy.

• 32:15Travis McElroy?

  You can't trick me. I'm your older brother. Nice fucking try. No, it says right here. Listen, last time I went to the post office, the post office gentleman looked at me and he said, and he gave me a crate of packages that he'd been saving from my post office box there at the

• 32:29Griffin McElroy?

  post office.

• 32:30Travis McElroy?

  Post office, because I don't go in frequently enough. And he said to me, I thought you were turning over a new leaf. Wow. Cause I told him that I was gonna turn over a new leaf and come in more frequently to collect the winnings from my post office that all you kind people send all your cereals and what have you to P O box 5400 in West Virginia 25706. Don't send any more Kraft mac and cheese. We're good. Thank you.

• 32:53Travis McElroy?

  But I can't turn over a new leaf because I'm too busy at home printing off all my postage. Cause I don't need to go to the post office as much anymore. Cause stamps.com makes it so easy to do at home. I put the thing on the scale. They print the postage and they do it for a a lot cheaper than the guys at the place.

• 33:12Griffin McElroy?

  It's actually in the ad copy. They say be proud of that fat. Like say that, but you don't have to.

• 33:18Travis McElroy?

  Don't waste time worrying about physical responsibility. It's kind of their main thing. So.

• 33:21Griffin McElroy?

  Travis, you gotta, you're stepping all over it. He's gonna get to the teen stuff.

• 33:25Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay. Don't waste time worrying about being a postage expert or standing in line to drop off letters and packages. Let stamps.com do what they do best. So you can do what you do better vape. Go to stamps.com and use code MYBROTHER to sign up for a special offer. No contract cancel anytime. That's stamps.com. Code my brother. It will make, make things easier for you. Stamps.com does not endorse vaping of any kind. It's not a vaping business.

• 33:53Griffin McElroy?

  But no.

• 33:54Travis McElroy?

  But it is for real vapers only.

• 33:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, but it's not.

• 33:59Travis McElroy?

  It's not.

• 34:00Griffin McElroy?

  It's not.

• 34:02Travis McElroy?

  Wink.

• 34:05Speaker 03

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• 34:06Speaker 04

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• 34:09Speaker 03

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• 34:11Speaker 04

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• 34:16Speaker 03

  I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old, she's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic wants, I don't want that to carry you home again, do I?

• 34:34Speaker 04

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• 34:36Speaker 03

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• 34:42Speaker 04

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• 34:44Speaker 03

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• 34:50Speaker 05

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• 35:42Travis McElroy?

  I wanna munch, squad!

• 35:46Travis McElroy?

  I want to munch, squad!

• 35:49Griffin McElroy?

  I love mixing in some new electronic instrumentation in there. It's very, very modern rock, very...

• 35:55Travis McElroy?

  Well, I have to change with the times, or else what am I doing over here, man? So, you guys like, you wanna talk about Sydney Sweeney? Do you want to talk about Sydney Sweeney?

• 36:06Griffin McElroy?

  Every time that she has, I feel like, come up in our sort of area, it has been for a product that is being sold that maybe features something she touched or looked at or.

• 36:20Travis McElroy?

  I think it would be exciting, though, to be the first three straight white men with an opinion on Sydney Sweeney. That would be exciting. That would be very groundbreaking, I think. Um, no, this is not about Sydney Sweeney selling her bath water, although, I mean, good honor if I could get away with it 100%. Sure. No question.

• 36:39Griffin McElroy?

  No one wants my yucky stuff.

• 36:41Travis McElroy?

  Not even. Environmentally friendly, if you think about it. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Yeah. Uh, so, uh, so Sydney Sweeney didn't sell her bath water. That's great. But that's not what we're here to talk about today, guys, because we're here to talk about, like, I don't know if Sydney Sweeney really loves taking baths or not. And I don't actually know if it makes her feel happy deep down in her heart to sell her bath water to a bunch of people in soap. I don't know. But I do know that she loves Baskin Robbins. So fucking much, she can't even handle it sometimes. Yeah. How do I know? Because Baskin Robbins is bringing serious star power to your ice cream outings this summer with the launch of the Sweet on Sydney menu, a limited time offering cooked created with longtime Baskin Robbins fan and actress. She always demands those credits be listed in those.

• 37:24Griffin McElroy?

  In that exact order.

• 37:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Sydney. I'm a double threat.

• 37:27Griffin McElroy?

  I think in IMDB, at the very top, it does say Baskin Robbins, the crazy enthusiast.

• 37:33Travis McElroy?

  Available starting July 1st, the Sweet on Sydney menu celebrates Sydney's signature sweet tooth and love of Baskin Robbins with two colorful creations, perfect for a refreshing summer snack. Now, I do, I do enjoy, I just want to show you guys, just to give you guys a little bit of.

• 37:50Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, Baskin Robbins usually comes correct.

• 37:53Travis McElroy?

  I have been chasing the high of the Baskin Robbins little clown sundae cup for kids where the cone is the hat and they put the frosting like on the thing.

• 38:03Griffin McElroy?

  You can't go home again, man. It's not gonna hit the same way.

• 38:07Travis McElroy?

  They do those, they call them creature creation. But it's not the same now because I'm a grown up and I think about everything. And there's so much adult context to eating it now. The joy of getting that when you're a child can't be replaced.

• 38:19Griffin McElroy?

  Can't be beaten. Are you trying to show us multimedia?

• 38:22Travis McElroy?

  No, I'm trying to get you guys to shut up.

• 38:26Griffin McElroy?

  You have a look on your face sometimes, Jesus, when it looks like you're trying to get something to load or screen share. And I thought I clocked that on your face. I apologize. I was mistaken.

• 38:33Travis McElroy?

  No, that's okay. It's fine. Uh, no, I was gonna show you this video, but it's like-

• 38:38Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, so I was right.

• 38:40Griffin McElroy?

  And you made me feel bad about it anyway.

• 38:41Travis McElroy?

  Okay, let's not do this. No one wants this. You know what I mean?

• 38:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 38:45Travis McElroy?

  We don't need to do this. I love talking to you guys. Yeah, it's still fun.

• 38:48Griffin McElroy?

  No, I-

• 38:51Travis McElroy?

  Said with such personal emphasis- What I would say is, what I would say is- Officially, for the record, I would do it if I didn't have to.

• 38:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's a really good bottom line for us to take on. Yeah.

• 39:04Travis McElroy?

  I would talk-

• 39:04Griffin McElroy?

  There's a lot of shit I do that I definitely would not do if not, you know, fully obligated to do it.

• 39:11Travis McElroy?

  I do, I just wanted to, I, I have these two different pictures. I'm trying to get the video to, to, to, for you guys. I just feel like it's, that there is an exact Sydney Sweeney selling stuff to you pose that Sydney Sweeney has nailed. And, uh, just comparing these, these images, there's a, there's an exact, uh, uh, look on the face that says, hey, buy this from me, Sydney Sweeney.

• 39:34Griffin McElroy?

  I'm looking at, I'm not looking at you. There's something up and to the right that is-

• 39:38Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, there's something up and to the right over here that that's, that's the taller you that you could be if you buy this thing from me. I'm excited to see a picture of this person. I don't have any context for who they are. They're very low profile, but I hear their name whispered sometimes.

• 39:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 39:52Travis McElroy?

  Well, get ready, cause they've got a menu that you're about to enjoy.

• 39:56Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 39:57Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 40:01Speaker 06

  Um, is that Sydney Sweeney? Oh, yeah, it is. She really loves our rainbow sherbet. She comes here all the time. Wait, seriously?

• 40:18Griffin McElroy?

  Is Sydney Sweeney posing outside about?

• 40:21Travis McElroy?

  Your scoop is ready.

• 40:22Griffin McElroy?

  It's hard to know how honey she is for ice cream. And she's sneaking in at night and eating the ice cream when they ask her not to.

• 40:30Speaker 06

  That's so cool. Yeah.

• 40:34Speaker 06

  It can be.

• 40:36Speaker 07

  Summer's looking sweet at Baskin Robbins. Try my new suite on Sydney menu. Available at Baskin Robbins nationwide for a limited time.

• 40:49Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 40:51Travis McElroy?

  So that's her, that's her favorite. There is an underlying horror to that commercial. The way that the Baskin Robbins employee says it can be.

• 41:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:06Travis McElroy?

  Impplies that there is a deep fear behind his eyes that he is afraid to voice. Yes, that when he opens the store in the middle of the night, Sydney Sweeney is there stealing ice cream.

• 41:18Griffin McElroy?

  Waiting.

• 41:19Travis McElroy?

  And she's like, what? And he's too afraid to say anything. Hey, what? This is like, I don't know Sydney Sweeney personally and I, I would never like impugn her, her character. Cause I don't know her as a person.

• 41:33Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 41:33Travis McElroy?

  But I do think we need to allow for the possibility that if you are close to Sydney Sweeney, you suddenly gain access to an horrible truth about the universe and the nature of yourself or something, something truly terrifying that you can't communicate to anybody else.

• 41:48Griffin McElroy?

  That is what the commercial seems to suggest. I hope one day I am famous in a particular way where a brand will come to me and say, we got a whole campaign we want to do. And the whole thing with the campaign is that you're a fucking sicko freak for our shit.

• 42:02Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:02Griffin McElroy?

  And I want to partner up with Taco Bell and have there be a commercial where like, I keep coming in to use the Taco Bell bathroom. And eventually the guy at Taco Bell is like, sir, you can't keep coming in here just to use the, just to use the bathroom. Is that Griffin McElroy? Yeah, he's a.

• 42:17Travis McElroy?

  But I'm beloved actor. Yeah. And I'm kind of acting like a weird android who's horny for the Taco Bell bathroom.

• 42:23Griffin McElroy?

  Hollywood blockbuster star Griffin McElroy. He can, he says he can only shit in our Taco Bell bathroom.

• 42:29Travis McElroy?

  I want both of you guys, okay, I want to give you the, the lead up paragraph. And then after that, I want both of you guys to give me the, the Sydney Sweeney pull quote about this partnership. I want you guys to give me what you think.

• 42:42Griffin McElroy?

  I imagine every pull quote is going to be like.

• 42:43Travis McElroy?

  Ah, give me that cold creamy stuff. Okay, so this is out of cafe. You can change the locks as much as you want. You're not fucking keeping me out. The quote, I will tell you for, for consistency's sake, the quote is out of cafe. I'm Sydney Sweeney Todd, bitch. I'll get in there, mess you up. The quote is out of cafe. It is Sydney Sweeney, the entrepreneur, and not Sydney Sweeney, the freak for Baskin Robbins, okay? At the heart of the new menu is Sydney's signature scoop, which features rainbow sherbet in a chocolate dipped waffle cone with rainbow sprinkles and topped with gummy bear minis. I will just say this.

• 43:18Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man.

• 43:21Travis McElroy?

  Chocolate plus rainbow sherbet's disgusting.

• 43:23Griffin McElroy?

  That's fucked up. Yeah, you've probably.

• 43:25Travis McElroy?

  Disgusting, Sydney.

• 43:25Griffin McElroy?

  Also, as someone who did work at the country's best yogurt for a couple summers.

• 43:29Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 43:29Griffin McElroy?

  Please listen to me and please know that I'm speaking the truth. You can't put gummy anythings on ice cream. It turns them into

• 43:38Travis McElroy?

  Two rocks.

• 43:38Griffin McElroy?

  A truly unpleasant, uh, tooth texture experience.

• 43:42Travis McElroy?

  Yes. Joining the scoop is a new, refreshing beverage. Sydney's, Sydney's signature fizz, which blends rainbow sherbet with starry lemon lime soda. And it's topped with gummy bear minis.

• 43:55Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 43:56Travis McElroy?

  That's a choking hazard.

• 43:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, why would you put?

• 43:59Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, Sydney. You choked me to death. I love you for it. I'm also dead. The summary sip will be available to a lucky few in exclusive, limited time, color changing. Oh, I wanted it to be in exchange for something. In exchange for. For this firstborn child. Okay.

• 44:17Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, we did, we did do it at TCBW. We did. I just want to get out there and say sorbet fizz, uh, while I was still working there as spray.

• 44:23Travis McElroy?

  Kevin sorbet fizz. But at the time, we didn't know that much about Kevin sorbet.

• 44:29Griffin McElroy?

  He hadn't gone, gone sour yet.

• 44:31Travis McElroy?

  Okay. So he's Kevin Sourbo. Give me my quote. Uh, Griffin first. What's the quote from Sydney Sweeney?

• 44:37Griffin McElroy?

  I can't start. I can't start. My summer hasn't officially started until I've chomped down on.

• 44:44Travis McElroy?

  Oh, now you know she didn't say chomp down. So I'm going to joke.

• 44:47Griffin McElroy?

  My summer can't start without Baskin Robbins there, without the cold, without sherbet from Baskin Robbins and these gummy bears on them.

• 44:57Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 44:58Travis McElroy?

  I think something like, as a longtime Baskin Robbins fan, I'm so excited to be able to get to partner with them and bring this fantastical summer flavor to life.

• 45:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Definitely not gonna go a single clause without establishing that she is a freak for this Baskin Robbins.

• 45:16Travis McElroy?

  We have been doing this, we have been doing this bit too long officially. Baskin Robbins has been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

• 45:22Griffin McElroy?

  Bazinga.

• 45:23Travis McElroy?

  It's where a lot of great memories were made, and I still find myself going back pretty often, said Sweeney. Rainbow sherbet has always been a favorite, so getting to see it featured like this really feels special.

• 45:34Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 45:35Travis McElroy?

  Listen, I don't wanna, I don't wanna hate on Rainbow sherbet, but it kinda feels like every other-

• 45:40Griffin McElroy?

  It's vulgar.

• 45:41Travis McElroy?

  Every other flavor has already been paired with a celebrity, and they're like, "We've got Rainbow sherbet left, Sidney."

• 45:50Griffin McElroy?

  Who's gonna do it?

• 45:50Travis McElroy?

  If you mix it with gummy bears, maybe you can call it your thing. The only thing worse is Wild and Reckless, and my kids love that one, and I think it's disgusting.

• 45:56Griffin McElroy?

  What is it?

• 45:56Travis McElroy?

  "We're always looking to give our Baskin Robbins guests their favorite flavors in new and exciting ways," says Nicole Boutwell, who works there. "Sidney's love for Baskin Robbins runs deep. We're so excited to put her signature scoop on the menu alongside a new, refreshing way to enjoy it in a fizz. This bold and fun duo is sure to be a go-to order this summer."

• 46:18Griffin McElroy?

  It's just, there's lots of ways that companies work with celebrities in a fictional manner. Sometimes it's fun, like, they're the new president of flavor blasting or something, and then they're at the Super Bowl, like, "What's up? It's me, Tom Bodett, I have a new job." Probably wouldn't be him, it'd be like a, you know, Julie Louis-Dreyfus, "I'm in charge of flavor blasting, now I'm the president." Some sort of fictional sort of role, but then sometimes they are just like, say, this person likes it. Doesn't that mean something to you?

• 46:49Travis McElroy?

  Huh?

• 46:50Griffin McElroy?

  Come get it. They like it.

• 46:51Travis McElroy?

  I would like to see one of these, be it a Tim Biebs or a Ryan Reynolds, whatever his thing was, or Sydney Sweeney's scoop. If they just came out and said, and Baskin Robbins said, I would get $1 for everyone sold. So please go buy them. I have expensive tastes and I really like-

• 47:08Griffin McElroy?

  They should have to, if we have to say in our, on a YouTube video, we're playing, you know, we, we got these Ryan's World toys directly from Ryan's World. If we have to legally say that to remain FCC compliant, I do think it would be dope if, if Ryan Reynolds had to be like, and also, I get a dollar every time you guys do this.

• 47:31Travis McElroy?

  Every time you sign up, I get a little bit.

• 47:33Griffin McElroy?

  I get a dollar. I like this, I like sherbet ice cream. The commercial ends with Sydney Sweeney barreling the camera. I like this ice cream.

• 47:40Travis McElroy?

  I like this ice cream and there's nothing you can do about it.

• 47:42Griffin McElroy?

  But I'm, and I think it is cool that more people are gonna eat it. I'm doing this because they said they would give me $1 for every one of these cones they sell.

• 47:50Travis McElroy?

  So, uh, before we go, I do just want to share this because I thought it was delightful. Uh, unrelated, Christophe Poirier is the chief new concept officer for a restaurant spinoff.

• 48:02Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 48:03Travis McElroy?

  Okay. I'm not gonna show you the restaurant spinoff yet. We'll show that at the end. Um, and this is his quote about the new spinoff.

• 48:08Griffin McElroy?

  I didn't know you could spin off restaurants.

• 48:10Travis McElroy?

  Sure, sure you did.

• 48:13Travis McElroy?

  Okay. I've told you, told you lots of times, like at Cosmic, the, the drinks, the drinks only McDonald's. Remember drinks only McDonald's?

• 48:20Griffin McElroy?

  That felt like a poorly funded-

• 48:22Travis McElroy?

  Remember the robot Taco Bell that was only run by robots?

• 48:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that. Yeah, yeah.

• 48:25Travis McElroy?

  A lot of customers right now are chasing culture. They're not necessarily focusing on, I want to have a boneless chicken product.

• 48:33Griffin McElroy?

  That's true.

• 48:34Travis McElroy?

  Nobody wants that. They just want, not even an experience, a vibe.

• 48:40Travis McElroy?

  And it's funny because a lot of brands are focusing on the experience. I think experience is a little bit basic. I have five Gen Z's at home. I'm the happy father of a blended family. None of my kids said, hey dad, today I'm really looking forward to a great experience.

• 48:54Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck yeah, man. This is the best press release ever. Is this still a press release?

• 48:59Travis McElroy?

  No, this is, this is an, this is a, this is part of a story about this, this launch. And I just say, if, if you say to an, like, a one human being or a group of human being, my children looked at me today and said, I'm not looking forward to a great experience.

• 49:15Griffin McElroy?

  No, they didn't say that. The kids, the kids, okay, sorry, we do need to be clear here.

• 49:21Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 49:21Griffin McElroy?

  This is not a situation where the kids told their dad, I'm not looking forward to a great experience. This is a situation where the kids did not say to their dad that they want a great experience. Those are two completely different scenarios.

• 49:32Travis McElroy?

  None of my kids, because this guy's the dad of a happy blended family that five Gen Z's. And none of my kids said, hey dad, today I'm really looking forward to the great experience. No, they're looking for the vibe.

• 49:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 49:44Travis McElroy?

  This is what they're expecting. What they're looking forward to with brands. It's something that reflects their personalities and not just fits their appetite. They love individuality, strong flavors and a shareable experience.

• 49:59Griffin McElroy?

  Wait, wait. No, Travis, he's got to take some baby steps back to boneless chicken wings.

• 50:05Travis McElroy?

  And a shareable experience, but not a great experience. But I would say the success is all about the vibe and just the magnetic attraction of the brand.

• 50:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, finally, someone who gets me.

• 50:19Travis McElroy?

  You get it. So here's the, here's, here it is.

• 50:21Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, dude. This is Saucy by KFC. This is Saucy, Saucy by KFC.

• 50:31Travis McElroy?

  The exclamation point at the end of Saucy is very distracting from. Some kind of accent placed between the U and the C that looks like a frowny face.

• 50:42Griffin McElroy?

  It's a dip thong. It's an umlaut.

• 50:44Travis McElroy?

  I want to tell you guys, I'm just gonna hit you guys with more Christophe Poirier info about saucy because it's in Orlando. It's pink instead of red. Our restaurant does not look like a shoebox. There's a lot of windows.

• 50:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, dude. Fucking, this guy's really, really got my number.

• 51:00Travis McElroy?

  It will allow us to unlock marketing synergies through geographic proximity.

• 51:04Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. I'm imagining him hovering over like a shattered chunk of the earth that has raised out beneath him as he channels these powers through.

• 51:14Travis McElroy?

  A geyser of sauce raising up the chunk.

• 51:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:18Travis McElroy?

  I like disruption, Poirier says. And what is the meaning of disruption? You take conventions and you take, no, sorry, wait, this is Adam Driver from Megalopolis.

• 51:29Griffin McElroy?

  This is Sephiroth.

• 51:32Travis McElroy?

  What is the meaning of disruption? You take conventions and you turn convention upside down. Right now in the world, many brands are focusing on chicken tenders. So the world does not need another one focusing on chicken tenders because you're in the crowd. I believe in disruption, which means what if the side is the core and the core is the side? When people are focusing on tenders, I truly believe the core is the sauce. And then tenders and fries are becoming the side. And then it opens up to a new blue ocean of opportunities. Gen Z, they love to explore. They love random things.

• 52:14Travis McElroy?

  Our 11 sauces, it's very often that I see customers taking fries and mixing in one sauce in another, making their own cocktails. It's really what people want.

• 52:28Travis McElroy?

  That is 100% uninterrupted. The quote from this person, that whoever he has spoken to in this has not even given the dignity of a Poirier explained excitedly.

• 52:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:44Travis McElroy?

  There is, there is.

• 52:46Griffin McElroy?

  His eyes wide and wild.

• 52:48Travis McElroy?

  This, this, this, they have let this man absolutely go off.

• 52:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 52:54Travis McElroy?

  Talking about saucy by.

• 52:55Griffin McElroy?

  No interrupt, no Poirier shrieked emphatically.

• 52:58Travis McElroy?

  Waving his hands dramatically in a way that I felt I was about to be struck, not out of anger, but merely out of gesticulatory excitement.

• 53:06Griffin McElroy?

  As a beam of light pierced his chest through the ground into the heavens.

• 53:12Travis McElroy?

  Right now.

• 53:13Griffin McElroy?

  I got excited.

• 53:14Travis McElroy?

  Low price points are everywhere, but the true definition of value is what you, you get for what you pay. And I truly believe that value should not be at the expense of the buyer. Poirier says, Chiquito is a nickname to say cute and little in Spanish.

• 53:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 53:33Travis McElroy?

  And when you move it to chick and saucy chick, we like to play on words and we like to play on names. This is because saucy for me is really an attitude.

• 53:43Griffin McElroy?

  God damn.

• 53:44Travis McElroy?

  So even a name, we could have called it a chicken taco or a chicken wrap, but the moment you call it a saucy Chiquito, there is a vibe.

• 53:52Griffin McElroy?

  Don't you see?

• 53:53Travis McElroy?

  Don't you see?

• 53:56Griffin McElroy?

  Don't you see it?

• 53:57Travis McElroy?

  You're blind.

• 53:59Griffin McElroy?

  It's an omni-channel brand.

• 54:02Travis McElroy?

  The best way to attract bees and butterflies is not to try and catch them. Cultivate a beautiful garden with beautiful flowers and bees and butterflies will come. We definitely want to double down or triple down on the success that we have in Orlando. If anyone ever says we want to double down on the success we've had in Orlando, send them to prison.

• 54:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 54:28Travis McElroy?

  So we will definitely come up with new openings very soon. He added.

• 54:35Travis McElroy?

  As he cackled into the night, flying off on his flying chicken wing. Oh, Kristoff for you. What a, what a treat. Look for saucy. We're gonna be.

• 54:45Griffin McElroy?

  Dude, I actually, I'm kinda down. Some of those picks looked alright, and I do like sauce quite a bit. I just wish that it wasn't being run by fucking Kefka. Uh, that would be ideal for me.

• 54:56Travis McElroy?

  Well, you can't always get what you want. I'm gonna disrupt, uh, the chicken tenders game and turn it completely around with fish brittles.

• 55:05Griffin McElroy?

  Fish brittles?

• 55:06Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. You've had chicken tenders. Mmm, these are fish brittles.

• 55:10Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. What form do those take?

• 55:13Travis McElroy?

  Uh, they're just kinda thin, and when you try to bite into them, it just shatters. Kinda like sticks? Uh, more like thin sheets that can also be used to write on or panes of glass. Like Nori? Yeah. Like, like finally seaweed gets real and it's made out of fish. Imagine peanut brittle, but made out of fish and clear.

• 55:34Griffin McElroy?

  And clear? How you make it clear?

• 55:36Travis McElroy?

  Dude, I didn't, I didn't give it all away. No one expected it to be clear. It's clear. No one wanted it to be clear, Travis. Your market research has misled you. Yeah, it's, it, it also blocks radiation.

• 55:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Teens love vibes and clear food you can see through. They eat their clear, they eat their glass burgers. They love this stuff.

• 55:57Travis McElroy?

  Well, it started, we started it as a way to replace Plexiglas, um, and then somebody took a bite out of it. Jimmy was messing around, took a bite out of it, and said, this tastes like fish. And I said, that's weird, cause no fish was used in the making of it. It was all chemicals. And he said, I think we could sell it. And I said, okay.

• 56:15Griffin McElroy?

  So this week, we're gonna be in Anaheim and Sacramento doing some live shows. We're gonna be doing Dadlands, our Adventure Zone original IP, uh, GM by Brendan Lee Mulligan and, uh, MBMBaM in Anaheim. And then we're gonna be doing MBMBaM in Sacramento. If you're coming to either of those Mabimbams, and you have a question, or if you're, you want read aloud, go ahead and email that to MBMBaM. That's M B M B A M at maximumfun.org and put your city in the subject line.

• 56:37Travis McElroy?

  They're gonna kick ass.

• 56:38Griffin McElroy?

  They're gonna kick ass. They're gonna be kick ass shows, but if you don't live in California, we got other shows that we're doing all over this country of ours. Uh, Atlanta, we're coming to Texas, we're coming to Salt Lake City, we're go, we're going all over.

• 56:50Travis McElroy?

  Why is it okay if they don't come to the California ones to hang their heads and come to these other ones? Yeah, come to all of them. Like you would follow the Grateful Dead, man. Like, why are they picking and choosing? I am gonna be at them all. Yeah.

• 57:02Griffin McElroy?

  You know? Okay, yeah, fair point. So Dad's also gonna be doing D and D in a castle, November 3rd to the 7th. Why do we keep promoting that? That doesn't benefit me at all. It doesn't help me whatsoever. Stop saying that.

• 57:12Travis McElroy?

  It makes Dad happy.

• 57:13Griffin McElroy?

  You can find ticket links and everything. So does Doc Savage Books, and they cost $3 at the store. You know what I mean? Bit.ly/MacRaeTours is where you can go to get all that, all that information.

• 57:25Travis McElroy?

  We also have a bunch of new merch, as it's a new month, so check out the Why Not a Wizard pin, the fuck off, King! Both designed by Evan Cruz, who is What's Their Face on Instagram, that's What's with a Z. 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Immigrant Defenders Law Center. So go check that out, macrae merch.com.

• 57:47Griffin McElroy?

  Um, thank you to Montane for the use of our theme song, "My Life is Better With You." It's a great track. You know what else is a great track? Uh, all of the songs on Montane's newest album, "It's Hard to Be a Fish," that just came out. Uh, if you're looking for some new music to listen to and you have not checked out this album, you should do it, because it's so fun and good and cool and original and, uh, I can't, I can't stop, can't stop pumping it. Thank you, Montane. Thank you, Montane.

• 58:12Travis McElroy?

  May I share a fear with you guys?

• 58:15Griffin McElroy?

  Sure, sure. Yeah, please. Yeah, then we'll get back to the podcast.

• 58:17Travis McElroy?

  Okay, thank you.

• 58:18Griffin McElroy?

  Well, I think we'll stop when we do this. Oh, okay. Sorry. It's part of the show. I got it.

• 58:22Travis McElroy?

  This year I will be faster than my fear that I'll spontaneously be asked to sing the Star Spangled Banner for an audience and forget all of the lyrics.

• 58:31Griffin McElroy?

  It's relatable. My name's Justin McElroy.

• 58:33Travis McElroy?

  I'm Travis McElroy.

• 58:34Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy. It's been my brother, my brother me. Kiss your dad, square on the lips.

• 59:11Speaker 06

  Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.