Ep 563 - No Nut Clarity (feat. Chris O'Connor & Dave Temple)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com yo0o0o. We're back. Devilishly hot cast with the O conn man and Dave in Matt's bop house. Check out Tires Season 2 NOW on Netflix. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup Get DUDE Wipes at Amazon and retailers nationwide. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:01Matt McCusker?

  Hey, welcome to Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. Here today with comedian Dave Temple and Chris O'Connor.

• 0:07Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 0:07Matt McCusker?

  Thanks for coming, guys.

• 0:08Speaker 02

  This is the first time in this setup?

• 0:10Matt McCusker?

  Never been in my, I've done stuff in my like office office. I don't think it was well received, but yeah.

• 0:18Matt McCusker?

  First time revealing my office apartment. Apartment office. My little bop house. My little content house. It's what I really do. I come here and I just masturbate for gay men.

• 0:30Speaker 03

  Right, right. My OnlyFans is popping.

• 0:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, huge.

• 0:34Matt McCusker?

  I just show my butthole.

• 0:36Speaker 03

  Yo dudes who get into that are fascinating, like guy sex workers. Cause I don't know, I don't know how you get into faking sex as a man. Like I get it for ladies.

• 0:46Matt McCusker?

  I don't think you do. I think you just fucking come and you're like.

• 0:53Speaker 03

  I, I meant that.

• 0:55Speaker 02

  It's all about just getting paid. I, I actually, I saw one of those things where you know, they take like a super high res picture of like your eye and make it like art.

• 1:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. I want to do that for my butthole.

• 1:08Matt McCusker?

  That's kind of cool. So people will like come stand in front of it and be like.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's so close up and so detailed.

• 1:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  They kind of don't know what it is.

• 1:19Matt McCusker?

  They can not, is that a nautilus shell?

• 1:22Matt McCusker?

  In a way, yes.

• 1:23Speaker 03

  Just a bunch of capillaries and veins.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Is this the Grand Canyon?

• 1:27Matt McCusker?

  Giant hemorrhoid.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  It's the Colorado River, right? Just get that put in like moma.

• 1:32Matt McCusker?

  You could get that picture taken and just see what you're working with.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:36Matt McCusker?

  If you had a super close zoom on the new iPhone, you could probably get a good portrait mode. Portrait mode would be nice.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  Have any of you guys actually seen your butthole?

• 1:47Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:48Speaker 03

  Like have never taken the time to actually bend over in front of a mirror and squish your cheeks?

• 1:51Speaker 02

  I'm pretty sure I have.

• 1:52Matt McCusker?

  Into the mirror, you're saying?

• 1:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, cause I always wonder, I used to do a joke about this, about like, how did they come up with the concept of anal bleaching? Yeah, I mean, like who saw their asshole to be dissatisfied with that?

• 2:04Matt McCusker?

  Probably a girl. Yeah, that's kind of nuts. It's a girl for sure.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 2:08Matt McCusker?

  She just saw she had a disgusting, like hairy asshole. It was like, I gotta, why not get it waxed? Why would you bleach? You bleach the hairs or the hole itself?

• 2:16Speaker 02

  No, because your butthole gets stained with poo, I think.

• 2:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, over time.

• 2:21Matt McCusker?

  Over time.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  I think it gets run in.

• 2:24Matt McCusker?

  Mine's gotta be an absolute abyss. Just rings of Saturn.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  It darkens up. I haven't checked mine. I don't know if it has.

• 2:32Matt McCusker?

  I, what happens to me is I'll like bend down. I'll just like, as soon as I'm done, I just get naked. Like in my bedroom, I'm naked and then I'll like go to plug up my phone charger and bend over in front of my wife. And I'll just be like, I'll feel like the air entered my asshole and I'll be like, fuck, she's looking right at my butthole.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  I thought you meant she runs up and blows in it.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  There's no wind in the room.

• 2:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  It's her gaze that.

• 2:54Matt McCusker?

  A little hand fan. That'd be nice.

• 2:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I think I did look at my asshole once because like I got a hairy asshole like late in life.

• 3:04Matt McCusker?

  Playing the game?

• 3:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. You know how like, I don't know. Like in college, I didn't have like chest hair.

• 3:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  And now I do, you know? I don't know. Yeah. So, and I, I think there was at one point where I was like, you know, wiped my ass. And it was like real hairy. And I was like, well, that's weird. And I wanted to get a look at like what it, what the, you know, what it looked like.

• 3:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Take, yeah, you probably could sneak there. Yeah.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  I didn't know if it was like a, you know, if it was patchy or whether it was like a nice, just clean.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  It's like it had a good grain to it. It's like, you know, better than your beard. You know what I mean? It's just like, wow.

• 3:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. You wanted to know if you had treated it.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  So wait, you're saying fecal matter, it really smooths?

• 3:44Matt McCusker?

  It does. It's a nice shine. Is your asshole actually stained from poo? I don't think it's stained from poop. I don't think it's.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  Stained from poo. I think the skin just stretches and stuff like that and kind of like, you know, that's what makes it dark.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  I don't know. It gets brown. I think it's brown.

• 3:58Matt McCusker?

  It's not brown. Your asshole's like, I think it's the color of like vagina lips.

• 4:04Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? There's like color concentration in those things.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  I think, but you can't like bleach vagina, can you?

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. Those people will put bleach.

• 4:12Matt McCusker?

  You can do vagina plasties. That's a new thing women are doing to like reduce their, their like, to get like a certain look on their lips.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:20Matt McCusker?

  No meat curtains. You're talking about the tuck them back in? Exactly. Yeah. Rejuvenation vaginal rejuvenation. I'm against it, bro. Are you? Yes. You gotta leave those things. You like, you like a good ham and cheese sandwich, huh?

• 4:32Matt McCusker?

  It's also crazy. Nobody cares. It's like, nobody gives a fuck.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  I don't know. There was a girl I dated once that had like a flap. You know what I mean?

• 4:41Matt McCusker?

  Little butterfly wing?

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. One side had a flap and it made it like, it made entry more difficult.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 4:47Speaker 03

  I know what you're talking about. It's like that thing that hangs off the side of a tree.

• 4:51Matt McCusker?

  I don't think I'd mind that. If I got to like LARP and be like, goddamn, give me a second, babe. I can't get it in. Holy shit, you.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  No, I think on her part, it was more like, ow.

• 5:03Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  Things in the way.

• 5:04Matt McCusker?

  Worst, that's dude. It's the worst.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:07Matt McCusker?

  Once a woman feels comfortable enough to complain during sex.

• 5:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. It sucks. It's the sexual version of biting your lip. Yeah.

• 5:18Matt McCusker?

  Ow. Catching one of those during sex is not pleasant.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  Ow.

• 5:24Matt McCusker?

  All right, I'm done. I can't continue now.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:28Matt McCusker?

  Just furious. Like, really? Do you have to say it like that?

• 5:33Matt McCusker?

  All right, sorry. Done this before a hundred times. Never had a problem. Never. What's the fucking problem now?

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Ow. Dude, yeah.

• 5:40Matt McCusker?

  That was, yeah. I gotta, I don't know. I'll get a picture of my, I'll get a picture of my butthole tonight. I'll.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  I'm telling you, I think, I think we should get it though with the, the retina camp, you know, like the.

• 5:50Matt McCusker?

  High, yes. What lens is the best for that?

• 5:53Speaker 02

  You want it, you want to be able to blow it up and put it on a billboard. You know what I mean? You want that level of resolution.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  That would be dope to just have it hanging like over your couch. And just don't say anything to anyone at all as far as what it is.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Cause it could look just like a star explode. If you made it like a negative image.

• 6:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, that'd be cool.

• 6:11Matt McCusker?

  And then just have a very clear shot of your penis next to it.

• 6:17Matt McCusker?

  Just slowly, just slowly zoom out little by little throughout your house. When you finally like, oh, this is my bedroom. Like, oh, this has been your fucking asshole the entire time.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, you'd have to, you'd have to do a little Photoshop, have it like, like bursting out of like a sand or something. So it's like dune.

• 6:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. Dude, I was, uh, I was just in Mexico all weekend. Might be my favorite country right now.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:39Matt McCusker?

  Mexico's sick, dude.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Really?

• 6:41Matt McCusker?

  I'm like seriously considering, I, I kept telling my wife the whole time. I was like, I'm gonna chug a gallon of water and just fully trans. Just be, have like a Mexican belly.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:49Matt McCusker?

  I want, I just wanna just like, I just wanna completely switch over.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  To the Mexican belly?

• 6:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, just like whatever's in their water, I want that. I'm gonna go through, I'm gonna go through shitting. I'm gonna shit for like a month. And just, I wanna like keep drinking the water here, get it imported and just have a Mexican belly.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, I've, I get a Mexican belly every once in a while.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, if I go on like a straight beer bender, you know what I mean? Like no hard alcohol, three, four days in, I get a Mexican belly.

• 7:19Matt McCusker?

  Do you really?

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:21Matt McCusker?

  Get Montezuma's revenge?

• 7:26Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it's probably, it's, I might be my favorite place. I've, I've been like traveled outside the US in a while. It was fucking awesome.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Where in Mexico did you go?

• 7:34Matt McCusker?

  Riviera Maya. So I was in the Yucatan Pen- Peninsula.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:37Matt McCusker?

  And I, I didn't know that. I was just like, cause I'd been reading about the Mayans just getting absolutely buttfucked by the Spaniards. Just devast- they like devastated themselves beforehand. I didn't know that.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:47Matt McCusker?

  But I was reading about that. So I like knew all the towns. They were like Campeche, all these towns. And I'm like, I know where that is. This is Yucatan Peninsula. Like dude, you're in the Yucatan Peninsula. I was like, all right, my bad.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but dude, it was, uh, dude, it was so sick. It was, it was in the jungle. Like at nighttime, like little, they weren't monkeys. They're called like cape, capers or?

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Capuchins?

• 8:04Matt McCusker?

  Something. I don't know what the fuck they were, but they looked like raccoons mixed with monkeys and they would just come out at nighttime and scurry. It was fucking sick, man.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  That's awesome. I hired a bunch of guys in the Yucatan to try to build a healthcare website for the Chinese.

• 8:19Matt McCusker?

  Are you a Spaniard?

• 8:23Matt McCusker?

  Christopher Cortez?

• 8:24Speaker 02

  I'm not kidding.

• 8:25Matt McCusker?

  Hold on, hold on.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  I swear to God.

• 8:27Matt McCusker?

  You hired a bunch of people from the Yucatan to build a Chinese website?

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I like.

• 8:32Matt McCusker?

  Sounds like a crazy triangulation.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was, it was like, I don't know, it was early on in stand up and I was like, you know, you just do any job you could possibly find. And I was like, coaching youth lacrosse. And one of the dads put me in touch with this doctor who was Chinese. And he was like, I need a website made. And I was like, I can do that.

• 8:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, no doubt.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  No idea how to do that. So I found these dudes in the Yucatan that would build websites for like super cheap. And I hired them and they, they just built like, kind of the shittiest.

• 9:09Matt McCusker?

  Wait, were they like standing outside of a Home Depot with a laptop? See, website, see?

• 9:19Matt McCusker?

  In front of a Best Buy now? Chinese doctor website, see?

• 9:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:26Matt McCusker?

  This episode of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast is brought to you by Dude Wipes. If you're still dry wiping with toilet paper, it's time you show your B-hole some respect in upgraded Dude Wipes. Why? Because Dude Wipes are wet and that extra moisture cleans away what dry never could. They leave no room for dingleberries or stray butt crumbs that TP might miss. Plus, they're extra large and designed for adults. Dude Wipes tackle the mess without any fuss and the flushable design makes cleanup a breeze. No more endless rolls or settling for less than perfect wipes. Riff prompts, think about a time when you really could have used Dude Wipes, literally every single day.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:05Matt McCusker?

  My ass is an absolute disaster. And also wetting the toilet paper, it's.

• 10:10Speaker 02

  Not the same.

• 10:11Matt McCusker?

  It doesn't do it. It turns into a little tiny like paper dildo you shove up your butt and you're like, it comes out disgusting. You're like, fuck.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  Dude, I, I had an itchy asshole for a while and I, I started hitting the wipes and it did help.

• 10:23Matt McCusker?

  That's huge.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:24Matt McCusker?

  Oh yeah, dude. I, it's there, I mean, especially when I travel and I'm in a hotel, it's like, I'm always just cursing myself. I don't have the wipes on me. Cause in a hotel, my, when I travel, my ass, I could talk about this for an hour.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 10:36Matt McCusker?

  My ass just goes haywire when I travel.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Well, this is the first time I ever had like chronic itchy asshole. Normally you're getting itchy asshole, you know, once in a while. This was like. Yeah.

• 10:46Matt McCusker?

  Just had to start hitting them.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  It's plaguing me, you know what I mean? We're early in the morning, you're trying to get to sleep an extra hour and you just can't because your asshole is so bad.

• 10:55Matt McCusker?

  Squirming in bed. Well, guys, dude wipes, best clean, pants down, available on Amazon and at major retailers nationwide. I was laughing about the immigrant, uh, what you want to call it, the, it wasn't a parade, the protest. I was laughing about that the other day, it was just.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  The fire parade?

• 11:12Matt McCusker?

  No way there was fucking Mexican dudes at that parade, at that, not parade, protest.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  No way.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  They're never anywhere like fun, they're always like at work.

• 11:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  Which is, that's where they've been getting most of them is like at work and then like pulling up one of my graduation was cold blooded, but also genius.

• 11:28Matt McCusker?

  They're getting them at graduation?

• 11:29Speaker 03

  They were getting them at like a high school graduations in LA.

• 11:32Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 11:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, like literally they would just wait for like.

• 11:34Matt McCusker?

  You'd shake all your teacher's hand or just be an ICE agent like, hey, congratulations.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Basically, it was just like, apparently like ICE like pulled up to the graduation and they're just like making note of who's clapping at Spanish names. And then like people kind of became aware of it and then they, you just saw a mass exodus, people just started running off to fucking graduation.

• 11:53Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 11:54Speaker 03

  People are like really upset.

• 11:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I wonder how much of that, because I've actually, it wasn't our neighbors in Philly, well, there was our neighbors, but they're, they're like friends or cousins are ICE agents. And I've talked to them and they're like, dude, it's nowhere, we're not doing any of this stuff, they're saying we're doing it.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 12:09Matt McCusker?

  They've claimed they're like.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  It's all just internet skits?

• 12:11Matt McCusker?

  That's what, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's key appeal sketch.

• 12:15Matt McCusker?

  I think it's, I could be wrong, I don't know.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  It's just Druski?

• 12:22Matt McCusker?

  They could be biased, I don't know.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  It would be funny, to just buy an ICE agent costume.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Because we don't know what an ICE agent looks like, like we all just heard these terms like five years ago.

• 12:33Matt McCusker?

  Well, I think they're dressed like Stryker from Mortal Kombat. That's exactly what I get. That's dude, if that protest, if they did get immigrants there, that would be genius. The guys were gonna go surround ICE agents, they just drop a giant fucking net. I got you motherfuckers, I got you.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  Fucking like Finding Nemo, there's just a little Mexican kid, swim down, swim down, abajo.

• 12:56Matt McCusker?

  I love Mexican immigrants, I think they're fucking sick, I like them. Every, every one I've ever met has been awesome, I've never met a murderer or rapist.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 13:04Matt McCusker?

  But I'm sure, you know.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  It's all bar backs.

• 13:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. It's all dudes just working hard as hell.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, man.

• 13:11Matt McCusker?

  So although, yeah, so I've never met a murderous, they're very, usually very uptight about the law. I remember I was driving, this Mexican guy, when I was working, I just started smoking a joint in my car and he looked at me like, "The fuck are you doing?" And I was like, "Man, relax." He's like, "No dude, I'm, we get pulled over, I'm fucked." And I was like, "Oh yeah, my bad."

• 13:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're scared.

• 13:28Matt McCusker?

  And then he tried to rape me.

• 13:32Matt McCusker?

  I said, "Hey buddy, that's, we don't like that kind of stuff in this country, that's enough of that, man."

• 13:35Speaker 02

  He didn't know that was against the law?

• 13:36Matt McCusker?

  He didn't.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  This is what we do.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  I wonder where they hide all of the hot Mexican women? I know they have to exist, because like Selena was hot.

• 13:45Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  But like, where do you get more Selenas, you know what I mean, like?

• 13:50Matt McCusker?

  I saw some babes down in the Yucatan.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 13:52Matt McCusker?

  I'm being honest, yeah.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying, I think the hot ones, they don't come here.

• 13:55Matt McCusker?

  We get the workhorses.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 13:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we get, and they're on an American diet and they just, you know what I mean?

• 14:02Speaker 03

  That's the other thing, I, like, I was just in San Antonio, everyone down there is fucking fat as shit, right? And it's just like, uh, like, it's not from Mexican food though. Like, "Oh, you guys came over here and started eating our shit."

• 14:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  To excess, you know what I mean, you're not cooking, cause I don't think, like, I get it, rice and beans is kind of starchy, but not like that.

• 14:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's not gonna balloon you like that, yeah. Yeah, it's a...

• 14:27Speaker 02

  I think their bodies can't handle it, too. I think that's like an actual thing, like, they didn't, they didn't evolve with our shitty food, they were like over there.

• 14:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  And then we just showed up, and their bodies like, don't, they're like, they're used to like storing fat for like a really long time. They're used to like starving.

• 14:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:46Matt McCusker?

  They're more keto.

• 14:48Matt McCusker?

  They're intermittent fasting for like months at a time. I swear to God, I don't know when I saw like a PBS documentary that was just like. The Mexican.

• 14:59Matt McCusker?

  And it was just showing like, it was just, you know where they like cut people's heads off and they just show their fat bodies? It was just showing like Mexicans and stuff walking around and the just their, like the fat is in all weird places. Yeah, man. Yeah, I mean, there are. I swear to God, this is true. I swear to God, it's PBS. They, they hit a point, if they have enough American food, they become like Russian nesting dolls.

• 15:22Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by Viori. Oh, yeah. I've been wearing the Sunday Performance joggers and I'll be honest, I didn't expect to have opinions about joggers, but I do. Oh, I know you do. Well, they're soft, lightweight and have four-way stretch, so they can move with you with no restriction. They're technically workout clothes, so you can train in them, but they don't look like workout clothes. You can wear them out and people will think you've got your life together. Honestly, they're comfier than whatever you're wearing right now, unless you're already wearing Viori, in which case, respect. And with the holidays coming up, Viori makes gift giving easy. Uh, I was close to that.

• 16:01Matt McCusker?

  Whether it's the Sunday collection or the Strato collection, their bestsellers are go-to gifts for everyone on your list, including yourself. Get 20% off your first purchase at Viori.com/secret and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. But no, I was in, when I was in the Yucatan, I, you know, I didn't see a lot of them, man. It was just, it was like, kind of like slender Mexican babes. Yeah. Tight, tight ponytails. Oh, yeah. And, uh, I'm not lusting after them. I was just saying it was, it was, I didn't, it was, yeah, you didn't see. Nobody, nobody strong enough to resist the tight ponytail. Like the linemen, women, you know what I mean? Like the offensive line ladies? Yeah, yeah. They had the tortoise. You didn't see tortoise, I didn't see any tortoise.

• 16:46Matt McCusker?

  But there are, it is interesting, cause I feel like, I'm, I'm confused, are there indigenous Mexicans or indigenous Mexicans, the Indians? Who are down there? That's what I was kind of confused. Yeah. So, huh? The Mayans were like Indians though. Yeah, they're Indians. Yeah, yeah, they're all. But then there was like Mexicans. So I'm like confused. I'm trying to, I'm gonna get a.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  No, they're all Indians.

• 17:07Matt McCusker?

  Are they all Indians? Yeah, some are Spaniards.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:10Matt McCusker?

  Then there's some Mexicans that are so Mexican, they look Asian. Did you ever get a load of those guys?

• 17:14Speaker 03

  So I lived in Bushwick for years and it's mostly Mexicans, but they all look so Asian. And they got the same kind of haircut, that bowl cut, you know what I mean?

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz the Asians just walked up over that.

• 17:26Matt McCusker?

  Athletes cut.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  The Asians walked up over that, the land bridge.

• 17:29Matt McCusker?

  Did they really?

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:31Matt McCusker?

  In New Mexico?

• 17:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, and that's then they became Indians.

• 17:34Matt McCusker?

  Oh, the Bering Strait.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  I swear.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  It's your, your eye shifting around is what I'm like. I'm looking for some level of confirmation here. You with me? Knock if you with me. I'm thinking you're looking for us to like add or tag onto this and I'm like, fuck, I don't know if he's serious.

• 17:49Matt McCusker?

  I mean, what is an Indian really?

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Just a guy that walks from China.

• 17:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, once you're looking for food, long enough, I think you just become an Indian.

• 17:59Matt McCusker?

  If, if you walk like 20 miles for a meal. I think they're like, alright, man.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  I mean, think about how badass.

• 18:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  Think about how badass they must. They outwalked the Chinese.

• 18:11Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 18:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz everyone's going, I guess, east at their time.

• 18:16Matt McCusker?

  To escape what? The cold or something?

• 18:18Speaker 02

  Nah, they're just like, fucking, let's check shit out.

• 18:20Matt McCusker?

  That is tight. If like a continent kind of emerges in the ocean, I'd be like, let's go check this out.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:25Speaker 03

  Yeah. They just came, they just come and go, like the water levels rise.

• 18:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  Apparently there was a time you used to be able to like walk to Australia.

• 18:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:34Speaker 03

  From like, uh, China. It was like a set of Polynesian islands.

• 18:39Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  They've all just kind of been submerged.

• 18:42Matt McCusker?

  Right.

• 18:42Speaker 03

  You know, those.

• 18:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's kind of nuts. I was reading the other day about the Indo-European lang- like how like, I didn't realize the English language is linked to like Arabic, uh, all those like Indian dialects. It's all the same root language.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:56Matt McCusker?

  So like, they said that every other person alive today speaks some form of Indo-European like languages. It's like English, French, Italian, all those ones, Iranian, they're all based on the same root language, Sanskrit as well, which is a dead language now.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, that's, I've always, I've always said English is the best language.

• 19:15Matt McCusker?

  It is.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  And if your word is good enough, it'll become English.

• 19:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, we'll take it in. Yeah, we'll just take it. It's a mutt, it's a mutt language.

• 19:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  Well, dude, language, they said every like 800 years, languages are completely like old English is totally unrecognizable now. That was the English language. It changes all the time.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it evolved.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  It's the sick, it's, it's the only one that really does that.

• 19:35Speaker 03

  It should, we should just all knock it off and just go English everywhere. I'm not, not like, I'm not saying in a way like where I'm angry about it or whatever. I don't care.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  But it is the most convenient language in my opinion.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  We won't use those words. Just show us the good ones. We'll use them.

• 19:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 19:51Matt McCusker?

  I could go Spanish during like lovemaking, maybe. You save them.

• 19:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm learning Spanish now. I'm like two years into Duolingo, but it sucks because they're like, they're teaching me such an old Spaniard version of Spanish. Like my wife is Puerto Rican, so she speaks Caribbean.

• 20:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  Slang. And she's like, you're talking like the way someone would talk in the Bible.

• 20:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:15Speaker 03

  Like, you know what I mean? It's like, yeah.

• 20:16Matt McCusker?

  It's kind of sick though.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, like you're speaking Spanish, but it's like, no one talks like that.

• 20:20Matt McCusker?

  That's Spain. I was talking to, we went out and did like snorkeling. I talked to the tour guide and he was saying that like people from Spain come there, they're like their version of British people, basically. Like the way they talk is just kind of like, it just sounds like snobby, I guess.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  Yeah. I got put onto that my first, one of my earlier times coming to Texas. I was in Houston and I met this Mexican girl who was just talking about how like, they think Puerto Ricans and Dominicans, their, their Spanish is trash.

• 20:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Like what the fuck? But they said people in Spanish think Mexicans are trash, like the way they talk.

• 20:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they hold it down. I think having like a long colonial empire for a while, you start to kind of look down on everybody. It's like, kind of sucking.

• 20:58Speaker 03

  Well, here's the other crazy thing.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  It sucks to spend two years learning a language and realize you've been learning like the snootiest version.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. This was like when I was in college, learning.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  Spent two years working on becoming a condescending prick. You didn't even know it.

• 21:15Matt McCusker?

  Just sound like an asshole.

• 21:16Speaker 04

  No, I was just trying to.

• 21:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you turned me into an asshole. I paid thousands of dollars. Now I sound like an absolute jerk off. I could lean into that, though, dude. Just fuck him up with some vosotros. Be like, you guys don't know about that?

• 21:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, you don't know about vosotros?

• 21:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's formal. It's like the formal, like, saying we. You're like vosotros, but it's only used in Spain, I believe.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 21:35Speaker 03

  I don't even think they use it anymore.

• 21:36Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 21:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think it's just an old, it's like an old computer language.

• 21:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:40Speaker 03

  It's the basis of shit, but no one uses it.

• 21:42Matt McCusker?

  It's like they're indubitably, basically.

• 21:47Matt McCusker?

  I used to tell my teacher, my Spanish teacher in high school, she's like, you gotta hit, like, the accent. And I'd be like, no, if I, if I'm gonna use this language, I'm gonna try to get babes, and I want my accent, because I'd never use an accent.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Exactly, right.

• 21:59Matt McCusker?

  I can have a foreign accent. Why would I? That's also insane.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  Right.

• 22:02Matt McCusker?

  Like, shoot. At some point, it becomes almost like a total impression.

• 22:06Speaker 03

  I know. Could you imagine, like, a Mexican person just, like, doing a white accent to, like, nail English? And you'd be like, dude.

• 22:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, relax, man.

• 22:15Speaker 02

  I don't know. If you matched an outfit to it, if you started dressing like the Count of Monte Cristo or something, then just. Going into Mexican bars.

• 22:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they're like.

• 22:27Matt McCusker?

  Darn skippy. You'd be like, alright, that's, tone it fucking down, bro. Tone it the fuck down.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  Isn't that happening to Chinese, too? Aren't they getting rid of all the characters?

• 22:36Matt McCusker?

  What you mean? The, like, the fucking wings?

• 22:38Speaker 02

  Because they're just unworkable. Yeah, yeah.

• 22:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, no one has time to draw a tiny waterfall.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  And it's like, you can't. Exactly.

• 22:46Matt McCusker?

  How do I say this? You have to draw, like, the sun and the stone?

• 22:49Speaker 02

  You also can't put a tiny waterfall, like, on a keyboard.

• 22:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  You know?

• 22:53Speaker 03

  I know. When I see, like, Chinese people texting on the train in New York, I'm just like, what the fuck?

• 22:58Matt McCusker?

  I know, dude.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  It's like, how do you, like, especially from, like, you don't even know where to begin. Like, I understand they don't read like we do, left or right, but you're like, wait a minute, is this the Matrix?

• 23:08Matt McCusker?

  What do they read, bottom to the top?

• 23:09Speaker 03

  I think they read up and down, and then also, like, left to right.

• 23:12Matt McCusker?

  Seriously?

• 23:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think it's right to left.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  They're just playing Sudoku all day long.

• 23:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm all for, you know, just like we'll pick a language and just all rock with it. We kind of have a little bit. English, dude, literally, well, that doesn't count because like Arabic and all that stuff, whatever. But yeah, I'd say English, just, you know.

• 23:34Speaker 03

  It's the best.

• 23:35Matt McCusker?

  It's the best, I'd say.

• 23:37Speaker 03

  It's the best because it can become anything. Yeah. Yeah. And we don't have weird sounds that require like your throat and tongue and nose to get involved. True, true. It's a lazy. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lazy language.

• 23:53Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I have a, I was, I got a haircut the other day and I was, it was at like the place my wife goes to. So it was like, just, it was a very gay place, very gay establishment.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was a salon.

• 24:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's like literally a hair salon and.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  She was like, it's a gay barbershop.

• 24:09Matt McCusker?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  There's gotta be a word for this.

• 24:14Matt McCusker?

  It was, it was literally a hair salon.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  I'm such a man, I don't even know what this is. Fucking gay, I'll tell you that.

• 24:21Matt McCusker?

  Well, dude, I was sitting there, it was, dudes are the best. I got it, he gave me a strict, he gave me a strict lecture. He's like, do you put product in your hair? I was like, not really. And he was like, dude, gay to straight, it's time, it's time you put something. I was like, yeah, it's a good sell. But I was watching ladies turn it on so hard when they like see gay guys. I watched, they all like act like, like hi, it's weird. They like do this whole, they kind of really sell this whole voice. And I came up with a theory. I really think like they are connected on like a soul level. I think like if you live a lifetime as a woman, once you like nail it, karmically, I think you come back as a gay man.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  As a gay man.

• 24:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think women after like six lifetimes come back as a gay man.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:03Matt McCusker?

  That's like their reward.

• 25:03Speaker 03

  And they get to fuck dudes.

• 25:05Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:06Matt McCusker?

  With the penis.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  That's the, yeah, that's the reward.

• 25:10Matt McCusker?

  And still like, you know, like get all decked out with the clothes and all that stuff.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  I don't know, women, no, they're like that, dude. They're so disingenuous. They'll take on anyone that they're talking to. They do the same thing with like babies, you know what I mean? Like women, they'll put, they'll put on a totally different facade and voice and bend down and talk to a child completely different. It's like, hey bitch, I just saw you talk like an adult right there. And now you're gonna come down and put on kid voice for me? Like, here, here. Women are psycho like that.

• 25:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, what even are you? They are shapeshifters for sure.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 25:41Matt McCusker?

  They are.

• 25:42Speaker 03

  They're all, it's like that movie Split. I've been working with this concept now that like.

• 25:46Matt McCusker?

  It's crawling on the ceiling.

• 25:48Speaker 03

  I've been working with this concept now that like a blowjob is such a disingenuous act.

• 25:53Matt McCusker?

  How so?

• 25:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  Because they're done with so much enthusiasm upfront.

• 25:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 25:59Speaker 03

  But the enthusiasm only gets less and less and less as time goes on. So clearly like you were never really into this.

• 26:07Matt McCusker?

  That's fair.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  And it's like, uh, like you can imagine the more you've been with a woman, she loves you more.

• 26:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:13Speaker 03

  So you should be doing that more, or at least with more enthusiasm, because the love is going up.

• 26:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  But it doesn't. So somehow it's like, oh, this is not an act of love.

• 26:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  This is more an act of manipulation.

• 26:25Matt McCusker?

  I believe you. They are at root, kind of those like Egyptian guys outside of the Gamal kiosk to like polish your one nail really well. Then it's just, it's a scam.

• 26:36Matt McCusker?

  It's a fucking scam.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  Polish it my nail.

• 26:39Matt McCusker?

  They'll get one, they'll smooth it up and you're like, that was nice. And I go, give me $500.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  I hate those things too, because they don't come off for like a month.

• 26:47Matt McCusker?

  Everyday you look at this one shiny nail and you're like, what does that say about me? What is that?

• 26:54Speaker 02

  I gotta, I gotta imagine on some level for them, the thrill is gone, you know?

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, for sure.

• 26:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 27:01Speaker 02

  I understand, you know.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  But what I'm saying is it's like if they needed something, they could turn it on the same way they turn on baby talk or same way they turn on gay talk.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  True.

• 27:11Matt McCusker?

  For sure. Yeah, it's, I, I even, uh, I've been starting.

• 27:14Speaker 02

  That requires some strategy on our part.

• 27:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  You gotta create, you gotta create things that they need. That only a blowjob will give them access to.

• 27:23Matt McCusker?

  This is turning into a red pill podcast real fast. I want to start doing that, just listening to red pill like reels in bed next to my wife. Cause I caught one the other day. It's like, if your wife, as soon as a girl you're with stops giving you head, she doesn't love you anymore. And you're no, you're now a beta. And I was just like, dude, I'm sending this to her right now. Fuck that. It's so funny.

• 27:46Matt McCusker?

  She has lost all attraction for you and she's thinking about another more successful man. She wants to suck their penis. Those guys are just nonstop, man.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 27:55Matt McCusker?

  It's such a wild, like the, the men's rights movement is, it's like exhausting.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:00Matt McCusker?

  So dude, I get it. Oh yeah. We die in war for sure. It's like, geez, take a fucking breath, man.

• 28:05Speaker 03

  I just also like the fact that they are hiring streetwalkers. Like they're literally just finding prostitutes on the street. Like yo, how much for your time for like the next two hours?

• 28:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  Do you want to come in and debate like?

• 28:17Matt McCusker?

  It's insane. Just 12 women and just being, you guys are whores. And they're like, yeah, you're paying me. I can't.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  Right. And they're just sitting there filing their nails like, yeah, okay, I'm a whore. And then like one is like actually trying to argue, but wait. And it's like, no, just sit and get your money, love.

• 28:31Matt McCusker?

  Those are the wildest. I do feel like that would be a cool experience to just talk to 12 escorts at one time. I would simp out. So I don't, I couldn't, I would simp. You guys' lives are actually really hard and I just, that's a good point, actually.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  No one respects you. Yeah.

• 28:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Sex work is weird. It's weird how sex work became like a, a lot of like very educated kind of white ladies got into this whole thing. They're like, I'm a sex worker. And they, you know, like with the only, they're like, show their tits on OnlyFans. Like we're united. It's like, dude, you're not a sex worker, man.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:02Matt McCusker?

  Sex work, when the sex workers are like women who have no choice.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:06Matt McCusker?

  Being like, I'll do this for a month. It's like, dude, knock it off.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  They just want to justify making the money.

• 29:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  You know, it's an, it's an internal conflict that's being externalized.

• 29:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Well, no, a lot of women have gone the other way with a soft girl lifestyle. Are you familiar with soft girl versus?

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Soft girl?

• 29:22Matt McCusker?

  Soft girl. So there was girl boss. Girl, we, we grew up in an era of girl boss. Sex and the City. It was all about bossing up. A lot of them are now going soft girl lifestyle. And I, I looked into it. It's actually, it was started by Nigerian women who due to like just rampant inflation were like, we gotta learn how to like get along without stuff. And it's all about just like focusing on pampering yourself, letting go of like your drive for success and just going full self-care.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 29:49Matt McCusker?

  So it's a whole, it's a whole, it's like a whole trend on TikTok.

• 29:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:52Matt McCusker?

  We just wear like past, you just get super girly.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 29:55Matt McCusker?

  And you're like, no, I'm totally okay with a man.

• 29:56Speaker 03

  I'm starting to get that way now. That's what this long hair is about. Like I've never had long hair in my life. Like, yeah, dude, I'm like taking care of myself. Like I used to have a, I used to have like a low Caesar because I had like alopecia spots from just being a grizzled man out here that no one cares about.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  Now, I'm like, I have a loofah, you know what I mean? And I like moisturize and I'm like, wow, like, who knew? You could just be a softie and still be fine.

• 30:22Matt McCusker?

  Well, it's like tied into like politics, apparently. Like the, like the self-care was big because they're like taking a nap. The girls are just taking naps again.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:30Matt McCusker?

  And it's like a whole thing on TikTok. Like, it's actually a political act to rejuvenate myself. Continue to fight. It's like, dude, go take a nap. Turning a nap into a cause? Yeah, for real. That's insane. I, I was reading an article about Sabrina Carpenter. Cause there, it was actually pretty, it was a decent article. It was written, I think by like a gender studies major. So it was like all this, like other, it got like super complicated unnecessarily. But they're saying she is like a, they're saying white women have appropriated the soft girl lifestyle, which was like Nigerian, black American women more so. And white girls are just starting to do it more as like, I'm going to the spa. I'm a soft girl. But they're saying she is. Appropriating the soft girl. The soft girl lifestyle, which is like just. Stolen? Yeah. They're, yeah, they're saying they're like warping it. It was all about like political naps.

• 31:16Matt McCusker?

  And like eggs costing 50 million jubiloes or whatever the fuck. Whatever money, I don't know. I don't know what the money is. Whatever silly currency.

• 31:27Matt McCusker?

  That is a sick move for things like just rampant inflation and be like, dude, I'm going to do a TikTok trend. I don't need, I'm done trying to get stuff. It's so funny, just, that's how you deal with inflation is take a nap. Yeah. Yeah. Take a political nap, rejuvenate yourself, do your nails and just kind of like think about plot your next move, how to battle.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, taking pictures of your asshole.

• 31:50Matt McCusker?

  Guys, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. You might not realize it, but guys face tons of pressure. Talk about any stigma, men face tons of stigmas. We can't express our emotions, dude, and it's just not fair. We need a therapist to teach us how to do that. Speak on the difficulties men face when seeking help with mental health. Uh, yeah, you know, sometimes you you feel like a weak little girl, but you gotta, you know, overcome that and be a fucking man in therapy and outside of therapy. Real strength isn't about bottling everything up inside and hiding your faults. It's acknowledging that you need help and doing something about it. If you feel like you're carrying the weight of the world, talk to someone, a friend, a family, or a professional. BetterHelp has over 35,000 licensed therapists you can connect with. Yeah, I think it's a good thing. You should definitely do it.

• 32:35Matt McCusker?

  Guys, millions of people rely on BetterHelp and based on the many reviews and 4.9 ratings in the App Store, it works. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/mssp. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash m S S P. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this. Oh, I like this. I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still, just one scoop, once a day, vitamins, minerals, probiotics. All this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide.

• 33:19Matt McCusker?

  Mix is great, doesn't taste like a fistfight. Packaged travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out. So hurry up and go to drinkag1.com/secretpod and for a limited time only, get a free immune support bundle, including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 plus K2 with your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/secretpod.

• 34:01Matt McCusker?

  But they're saying Sabrina Carpenter, not, oh, I guess her, because she's like, her whole thing is, she's like a small petite, you know what I'm talking about?

• 34:08Speaker 03

  I know her, yeah.

• 34:09Matt McCusker?

  I didn't, I'm just learning about this person, but she's a very small petite lady and they're saying, and it's actually kind of overt. Her cover to her, I think her new album is the same as the book cover of Lolita. She's about that man who is obsessed sexually with a 12-year-old girl.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 34:23Matt McCusker?

  And her, her album cover does kind of copy that. And this lady who's like, I think like a feminist lady who's, she's like, she's selling pedophilia and everyone's eating it up.

• 34:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think so.

• 34:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's fair. It's a, it's a

• 34:35Speaker 03

  Right.

• 34:35Matt McCusker?

  fair analysis. Then she did like a big thing about the soft girl lifestyle and how it was stolen. I was like, all right, well.

• 34:41Speaker 03

  Sabrina Carpenter did or the other lady?

• 34:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, she's saying she's like a warped version. They, they did that with Me Too. Me Too was black ladies, black ladies started Me Too. And then it was just, yeah, it was like, it was like factory workers.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  That makes sense too, yeah, because there would be the person that will actually speak up.

• 34:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  Like especially the era that we came out of, like if some, if someone was sexually assaulted, it's going to be a black woman to be like, uh-uh, uh-uh, nah, that nigga raped me. Nah, girl, you need to stand up for yourself, like.

• 35:10Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it was, for real, it was in like factories. Women were getting like their asses grabbed and stuff in factories. And finally they're like, fuck this. And then like Gwyneth Paltrow was like, yeah, I'm uncomfortable on movie sets. And it became this whole thing. Well, I mean, a lot of them, Harvey Weinstein was.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  Have you ever seen, uh, remember that movie Two Wong Foo? Uh, Two Wong Foo was like Wesley Snipes and, um,

• 35:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  John Leguizamo and the other.

• 35:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, isn't it like?

• 35:36Speaker 03

  They were in drag.

• 35:36Matt McCusker?

  They were in drag, yeah.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  What? It's fucking Wesley Snipes. What's the white guy from Roadhouse?

• 35:42Matt McCusker?

  Patrick Swayze?

• 35:42Speaker 03

  Patrick Swayze.

• 35:43Matt McCusker?

  All wore the dress?

• 35:44Speaker 03

  They were all drag queens or trans people, but like, they're like driving a Cadillac across country, stopping through small town America and changing things, just making things fabulous, but also teaching middle America white women how to like stand up to their husbands, like, because it's like cartoonish evil, like the man is like beating the woman around the house because he put pepper in the sauce, you know what I mean? And they're like, uh-uh, girl, you gotta stand up for yourself. Like at one point, Patrick Swayze like goes in and kicks the guy's ass in a dress, you know what I mean?

• 36:15Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Weird, yeah, man.

• 36:17Matt McCusker?

  It was like a Mrs. Doubtfire kind of situation.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:22Matt McCusker?

  He enters a swim meet and just crouches.

• 36:25Matt McCusker?

  Them in drag beating up husbands?

• 36:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:28Matt McCusker?

  It's kinda sick, actually.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:30Matt McCusker?

  I didn't know that existed.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  You didn't know that existed?

• 36:32Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's called Too Wong Fu, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar. It's a very long title, like, Don't Be A Menace.

• 36:42Matt McCusker?

  And it was Snipes, too.

• 36:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, Wesley Snipes, man, like, yeah, and he's like, uh...

• 36:46Matt McCusker?

  Who looked the most like a woman?

• 36:48Speaker 03

  John, like, was like, "Oh."

• 36:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I can see that.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's all, like, Puerto Rican, you know what I mean? "Oh, Papi," and you're like, "Okay."

• 36:55Matt McCusker?

  You're like, "BBL."

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Like, I still can't unsee John so feminine that way, you know?

• 37:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:03Speaker 05

  He does a lot, he did a lot of, like, drag stuff back in the early 90s.

• 37:07Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 37:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, he was, like, okay in the dress and makeup.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:11Speaker 05

  Cause he's a theater man, and he's not even Puerto Rican, that's fake, he's Italian, actually.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I've heard, yeah, yeah.

• 37:16Matt McCusker?

  He's Italian?

• 37:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, my wife is...

• 37:18Matt McCusker?

  I'm surprised you listen to that movie, be like, "No, this is how you hit your wife, you fucking fake laughing."

• 37:26Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy, man, I didn't, yeah, that's a fucking insane movie. How'd you find that out?

• 37:31Speaker 05

  Uh, the internet.

• 37:33Matt McCusker?

  Oh. Is he, like, all Italian, or is it like a...

• 37:35Speaker 05

  No, he's not Puerto Rican, I think he, he did something, like, anti-Trump or something, and everybody dug in.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  They always know, though, dude, my wife is Puerto Rican, she knows who's what, like, they keep track.

• 37:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  "Oh, he's Filipino, that doesn't count, he's Cuban, okay," like, holy shit. Yeah, they're, they're very racist.

• 37:54Matt McCusker?

  I, I do like inter-group beef, like, it just makes me laugh when it's like Mexicans are like, "Fuck Puerto Ricans," like, "Damn, you guys are beefing, I didn't know that."

• 38:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:03Matt McCusker?

  Makes you feel, you're like, "All right, well..."

• 38:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, like...

• 38:05Matt McCusker?

  Maybe white guys aren't the worst.

• 38:06Speaker 03

  That's what I'm gonna say, do white guys do that? Do white guys have any inter-white guy beef?

• 38:10Matt McCusker?

  It's fading, it was like, my dad, like, held it down, like, "Fuck Italians," like, yeah, he was kind, I mean, it wouldn't be, like, overt, where he's, like, stewing over it.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  Irish and Italians used to hate each other, right?

• 38:19Matt McCusker?

  We used to live in different, it was like, I mean, not me, but like, my dad grew up, yeah, it was Southwest Philly, he, he moved to Haver Town, but they, in Southwest Philly, it was like, he's like, "You wouldn't even go to Italian neighborhoods," it was just kinda like...

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Fuck that.

• 38:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  I guess we were kinda squashing the beef.

• 38:32Matt McCusker?

  Catholic school, I feel like, you go to Catholic school and like, alright, sorry.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  But I think it was also because like, most Irish dudes, and back in the day, all went into law enforcement.

• 38:41Matt McCusker?

  A lot, yeah.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  And like, a lot of Italian guys were up to no good.

• 38:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 38:45Speaker 03

  So I think that's kinda where that beef is gonna start, you know?

• 38:48Matt McCusker?

  True, I can see that. There was a lot of Irish guys up to no good as well, but I think they were just quiet, not as flashy.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:54Matt McCusker?

  Italian guys were way too flashy.

• 38:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:57Matt McCusker?

  They were, they fucking blew it.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:59Speaker 02

  Although I felt bad for the Philly mob, you know?

• 39:02Matt McCusker?

  When they all got like-

• 39:03Speaker 02

  The last article I saw about the Philly mob was like, they caught them, they had like counterfeit like cigarette machines and like jukeboxes.

• 39:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, really slumming it?

• 39:15Speaker 02

  I was like, aw man, just let them have it.

• 39:17Matt McCusker?

  Just dinosaurs, dude.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:19Matt McCusker?

  They got busted for being bookies.

• 39:21Speaker 02

  Fake arcades.

• 39:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. They said tokens. They said Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're like, they're like lost in time, because it's like, the last like standing organized group is like the Mummers, right?

• 39:36Matt McCusker?

  Also dress like girls.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, right?

• 39:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they, I remember in like the early 2000s, a lot of the bookies got busted. It was like Nicky the Hat was a big one and they all just got crushed. He was a sick name. But they all just got like crushed. A lot of them lived out in like, the Ridley Park area, like the suburbs surrounding Philly. They had like, Italian club, there's like a club, when I worked for this guy, we used to go to this like one Italian club and they're all, they all claimed to be kinda like mobbed up, but they're all geezers.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:04Matt McCusker?

  They own like floor shops and stuff, they were kinda sick.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  They all started doing that kinda, that Sopranos thing, where like guys that were not in the mob were like, I'm in the mob.

• 40:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, although that's the Italian curse. It's like your nephews, like my uncle's, every fucking Italian thinks their uncle's in the mob.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  I hated meeting those guys.

• 40:20Matt McCusker?

  So annoying.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  Meanwhile, he's just, yeah, he's got one jukebox.

• 40:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's in the mob, dude.

• 40:28Matt McCusker?

  Mungles are the touch tunes, the touch of tunes, yeah.

• 40:31Speaker 02

  Your touch tunes crush the mob.

• 40:33Matt McCusker?

  My dad and his brother. So did like all the gambling websites just put them out. There's nothing. I guess they can still like sneak like import women, maybe. Yeah. Shipping cargoes, but you know, shipping containers, but. True. I think the Ruski's got that under control. So. Yeah.

• 40:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. I guess like funeral homes is still kind of the play.

• 40:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  There's gotta be some way to do something with funeral homes. But I, I know that's gotta struggle also because from what I'm understanding, like my family owns a funeral home in, um, in Atlantic City.

• 41:02Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  And they struggling now because.

• 41:06Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 41:08Speaker 03

  It used to be, but they're saying like younger people don't value, or they're coming in like, all right, my grandmother died. What is the cheapest way we can get this done?

• 41:19Matt McCusker?

  Scinerator, move on.

• 41:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:20Matt McCusker?

  It's expensive, man. Yeah. You go in there. A lot of, uh, my dad and his brothers were a family owned trash company, which was like a red flag for like people would say organized crime. They weren't at all, but they dealt with like my trash company was largely controlled by the mob. And they would get like their dumpsters stolen all the time by mob guys.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:38Matt McCusker?

  They'd have to go up and like, give me my fucking dumpster bag.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  But I understand that now, man, especially after living in a city like New York where it's just like, hey, man, if we don't pick up the trash, things are gonna get bad.

• 41:48Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  So, you know, it's a good business to be in.

• 41:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. And that's sanitation. These were like dumpsters are more like private because like the city sanitation is kind of just like, that's just kind of like city workers. But then if like dumpsters, like driving, dropping dumpsters off at like hospitals and shit and picking them back up. And you just have a yard where you just dump all your trash and separate it.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:06Matt McCusker?

  That because you could get rid of anything or any, you know, you could, that's why the trash was like super.

• 42:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:10Matt McCusker?

  And the cement, that's why all the Italians did cement because you could just fucking pour cement over people and toss them in. It's true, dude. They, my dad would get, they would get dumpsters from the hospital and like when people would come in with injuries, they would just throw their weapons away.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:23Matt McCusker?

  So they, it would get like guns and shit in the trash. And they were like, fuck yeah. It's kind of sick.

• 42:28Speaker 03

  I know. And then they got weird because instead of selling them, right? And these younger generations, they're, oh, I'll just sell these to my black friends. You know what I mean?

• 42:37Speaker 03

  Black kids walking around with guns with bodies on them like, you know.

• 42:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude. The switches thing is terrifying. Yeah. Putting them, turning them automatic. Yeah, man. That was scary. Yeah. You can put a switch on a gun.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  Switch extended clips where now instead of 16 shots, you'll have like 32 and you just squeeze the button and it just.

• 42:55Matt McCusker?

  Turns automatic.

• 42:55Speaker 03

  And it's just children running around with extendos and no aim. They don't go to the range ever. Cause their motto is just like, I'm just squeezing at the whole area and we'll see what

• 43:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy how that got caught up in like the YouTube algorithm too, where it's like, it's like financially, if you have like a cool like drill rap thing and it's like you like, you can prove that you've murdered lots of people. It's like, it does well on YouTube. People like,

• 43:21Speaker 03

  Oh yeah. Do young rappers, I don't even know any of their music. I only hear about them shooting people or going to jail because like this person has confirmed they murdered someone and I'm like,

• 43:33Matt McCusker?

  They do minute long, so every song's one minute long.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:37Matt McCusker?

  It's just them being like, yeah, I definitely killed that guy. And you're like, all right, that's fucking crazy. It's, yeah, it's fucked up. I've gone down those rabbit holes so many times where I like, I'll get like invested in those guys and like they die. Like you'll find out they died and you're like,

• 43:52Speaker 03

  Damn. We're talking about that last night too, that that has become the genius of the, the music business pushing hip hop. It's like, let's just find a young crash out with no family that hopefully they'll get big enough where we could just collect their royalties forever. You know what I mean? Like they'll just die. They don't have children. No one cares. And you're just like, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's, it's a pretty sinister model.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  You hire a new artist to kill off the old artist. You need it for the crack. For your, for your next album.

• 44:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Don't worry. He's only gonna shoot you a little bit. You won't die.

• 44:27Matt McCusker?

  Also, I mean, even if it's not intentional, it's like, you know, you're running a music label and yeah, once it happens once, you're like, that worked out pretty well for us. I could see it being like, that guy's a surefire bet. That guy's a good pick. Oh, you wanna sell heroin? We'll give you a little bit of money. How about you get it, get in there, get active?

• 44:45Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I wouldn't, I could definitely see that happen.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  Right, right. Going in for a meeting. Do you have anyone you could kill or?

• 44:52Speaker 03

  Right, yeah. Do you have any active beefs with anyone?

• 44:55Matt McCusker?

  Well, there's like subreddits where like people go on and give like the scoop, like this person's against this person. It's all, because there's so much upside. If you're like, if you pop off on the algorithm, you can make hundreds of thousands of dollars.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  That is also scary to me where, like you said, these reaction videos where those videos also have like a quarter million views just reacting to what someone did on their like, on their live.

• 45:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 45:18Speaker 03

  You know, people just sit there and watch people go live and screen record and it'd be like, alright, cool. I got content now.

• 45:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I do like the streams, like the young black streamers where it's just dudes standing in a room with a fucking scroll of just people commenting.

• 45:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:33Matt McCusker?

  Shit's fucking sick.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  And they're just sitting there like eating a sandwich.

• 45:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's, it's insane.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  It's fucking great.

• 45:39Matt McCusker?

  Like, who's the one guy, Kaisa, Kaisa Na, yeah. He's huge. He's, he's like a, his platform is massive.

• 45:45Speaker 03

  To the point where Kamala Harris was like begging to get on the show during her run for election and he wouldn't let her on.

• 45:53Matt McCusker?

  It is crazy. There are podcasters who seem genuinely more powerful than the presidential candidates. Who are like, nah, I'm good on her. Who else we got? Your booking service?

• 46:03Speaker 03

  He wouldn't lie to say that. He's like, yo, Secret Service keeps calling my phone trying to get me to have Kamala on. I don't want to be political, get it? But I knew that he was gonna be, I knew he was gonna be in those crosshairs when he did that stunt in Union Square.

• 46:18Matt McCusker?

  What'd he do?

• 46:19Speaker 03

  He said he was gonna give out like a few PlayStation 5s and like 250,000 kids showed up to Union Square and it was like a massive riot. They destroyed the place and it was like, there was no brand that didn't see that. That was like, get that kid on.

• 46:34Matt McCusker?

  That's kinda chum in the waters, putting out a bunch of PS5s. That's a fuck, that's a recipe for disaster. 250,000 people?

• 46:42Speaker 03

  And they just tore the place apart. Like, he had to be, he, his team had to get him out of there in an SUV and it was like, Helicopter footage of like, people are hanging on the SUV as it's speeding away. Like, you know, they're like hanging on for dear life.

• 46:57Matt McCusker?

  It's like the Iraqi extraction.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  And I'll never forget the day that that happened. We were in the city. I was actually in Washington Square Park, recording content, uh, man on the street content for my podcast. And there's just like a helicopter, just kind of like hovering. And I remember my wife, she's like, those are police helicopters, like something, something crazy is happening right now. You know what I mean? And then we got home and saw the news and it was like, oh, yeah.

• 47:23Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 47:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's, that is wild, man. That's, uh, that is so funny for just podcasts, just dudes in a room. Like, it'd be nice if Kamala went on and did the, uh, Kodak Black, where she just like tossed a pill up in the air, caught it. Caught perks out of it. That he was, that's my favorite appearance on any kind of show.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:43Matt McCusker?

  Where you just threw a perk in the air, caught in his mouth, and he goes, a little glitch for the twitch, and just like lay there. It's like, fuck all that, dude.

• 47:49Speaker 03

  Those dudes, I love that they, they're just like by themselves, going live all the time.

• 47:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  It's to the point, I'm not even sure whether they're real people anymore. Like, I don't know, there's no way Soulja Boy is a human being.

• 48:02Matt McCusker?

  Dude, we, we, I, I got an opportunity to hang out with Kai Sinat once and his, like, they just filmed his girlfriend beating him up. And then they stopped and he was like, nice.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's insane.

• 48:14Matt McCusker?

  Oh. It was just like a made up scene.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, it's like the littlest things go, like, he's going viral right now as we speak, because he was at the BET Awards.

• 48:23Matt McCusker?

  Saw that.

• 48:24Speaker 03

  And he was just in the parking lot. And fucking Wale is walking in the parking lot and he sees him. And he doesn't know who he is, but he was nice. He was like, oh, hey, how you doing? And then he gets in the, in the, in the thing and the chat is just going crazy, like, ah, Wale, Wale. And he's like, Wally, what the fuck is Wally? And then like the guy filming is like, Wale, that's the guy you just seen. He's like, oh, what'd he do? And fucking then like.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  Everyone's like, yo, you don't know Wale, blah, blah, blah. And Wale, he's kinda petty for this, cuz he does this a lot.

• 48:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 48:53Speaker 03

  He's like online and he's always reading comments of what people are saying about him. So then he goes and approaches Kai Sanaa like in the award show to be like, yo, that interaction got me looking crazy on lung right now, man, but we'll talk later. Like, and Kai is like sitting there talking to Snoop Dogg, like, what?

• 49:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  What are you talking about?

• 49:09Matt McCusker?

  It's also now you look crazy to be like, it's also insane to be like, like if he knew you, that's just how it works. Like if somebody doesn't know you, it's not that person's fault.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  Right.

• 49:19Matt McCusker?

  And you just gotta let it go.

• 49:20Speaker 03

  Right.

• 49:20Matt McCusker?

  Especially if you're.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  He probably did know him, though. He's just fucking with Wale.

• 49:25Speaker 03

  I'm on Wale.

• 49:26Matt McCusker?

  I wouldn't recognize, if I saw him.

• 49:27Speaker 02

  It's unbelievable, the disrespect.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  You'd be surprised what 21 and 22 year olds don't know.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  No, Kai knows.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  Nah, man, there's a.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  Kai knows. He's the most plugged in guy. He's got, he almost had Kamala Harris on his back.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  Because here's the thing, it's been going on for the rest of the night of other older black celebrities that he didn't know.

• 49:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:46Matt McCusker?

  Like, it's gotta be a test now.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  No, he's doing a bit, dude. He's fucking with these guys.

• 49:50Matt McCusker?

  I mean, you have the inside track.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Unbelievable.

• 49:52Matt McCusker?

  You have the inside track.

• 49:53Speaker 02

  I'm sick and tired of it.

• 49:57Matt McCusker?

  What are you sick and tired of?

• 49:58Speaker 02

  You show up to the BET Awards, you don't know anyone there? Bullshit.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  He knew Snoop and Kevin Hart. Who else do you need to know? Yeah. Everybody else.

• 50:07Matt McCusker?

  When's the last time Wale put out a song?

• 50:09Speaker 02

  I don't know a single song.

• 50:12Matt McCusker?

  I know a song from like 12 years ago.

• 50:14Speaker 03

  Okay, but here's the other thing, right? Now, you know Wale, right? And you know, remember when he was doing his stuff with Seinfeld?

• 50:21Matt McCusker?

  No, what have?

• 50:22Speaker 03

  He had an album about nothing, the mixtape about nothing.

• 50:25Matt McCusker?

  Oh, oh.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  I thought he was making stuff with Seinfeld.

• 50:27Speaker 03

  Well, he did. He did. He would do skits with Seinfeld in between the songs. But the way the project worked, he reached out, like he would do these mixtapes about nothing where he would play excerpts from the show to lead in the songs that he wrote.

• 50:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, this is why Kai Sanaa doesn't know who he is.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  Exactly. But then he like actually reached out to Seinfeld to see if he could get Seinfeld to do these things. And when, literally when Seinfeld got the notice, same thing.

• 50:55Matt McCusker?

  What the, what the hell is Wally? And like Seinfeld's wife happened to know, she was in the room like, oh, Wale, I love Wale, he's great. He actually uses clips from your show to do the thing. And if that didn't happen, Jerry would have said no. Jerry only said yes because his wife was like, oh, is it, is it, is it good? She's like, yeah, you should do it. And he did, but Jerry didn't know who the fuck he was. Damn.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  But Jerry's wife knows who he is?

• 51:20Matt McCusker?

  It's surprising since she's, yeah.

• 51:24Matt McCusker?

  It's interesting, yeah. He's not, he didn't marry his young girlfriend though, I don't think.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  Who?

• 51:30Matt McCusker?

  Uh, Seinfeld came under fire.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  No, yeah. No, they were just dating. Shoshana, is that her name?

• 51:40Matt McCusker?

  I like, I like Macron's setup where he is married to a woman like 20 years older than him or something.

• 51:46Speaker 02

  Did you see she like choked him out?

• 51:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I saw it. I think they were fucking around.

• 51:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:50Matt McCusker?

  You catch me getting the throat, my hands, her hands to the throat all the time.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  He was live streaming the whole thing.

• 51:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  The comments are going nuts.

• 51:56Matt McCusker?

  I saw it. Well, there's like a for real, did you, like, you ever hear about this? How they say the president of France's wife is a man?

• 52:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:04Matt McCusker?

  There's like a serious thing into that, but apparently she met him allegedly when he was like a schoolboy. She was like his teacher and like they got married and now he's the president of France.

• 52:16Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 52:17Matt McCusker?

  Very French. She really, she really scouted that. Yeah, yeah, for real. High for talent.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  He's like addressed it, I thought, hadn't, didn't he like talk about how it was like?

• 52:25Matt McCusker?

  He's running super French. He's like, our love was like, no, no, there, blah, blah, blah. But there's like Candace Owens, like for real, there's like court.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  She's mad about it?

• 52:33Matt McCusker?

  She did like a full documentary. She thinks, she's like convinced that the dude's wife is a man.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:39Matt McCusker?

  Like went full in, like requested, one of those things where it's like, they like gave her a deposition, like, yo, you gotta stop saying that. Because like, I think the press in Europe works where like, if you say something about someone, you have to prove it's true. But in the United States, you can allege anything kind of you want.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:55Matt McCusker?

  And it's on them to prove it's not true.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:57Matt McCusker?

  So she sent a thing being, or they sent a thing being like, stop. And she was like, prove I'm wrong and I'll stop. And they're like, yeah, we're done. Yeah.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 53:07Matt McCusker?

  Huh? Fifteen they started dating? They met in nineteen ninety when Brigitte was teaching the drama club and Macron was fifteen years old. Now they're married.

• 53:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that doesn't mean, they didn't start dating when they fit. They met, like, that was their first interaction and that's fucked up that they're trying to show it that way. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, you can meet somebody.

• 53:28Matt McCusker?

  I think they are on record saying we had a romance when I was fifteen.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  Like, I think so.

• 53:33Matt McCusker?

  Maybe shortly after.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  Well, you know what? Yeah, I guess it is possible.

• 53:37Matt McCusker?

  It's also France.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  I'm talking about it as if my, okay, so like, my mother-in-law, she had my wife when she was fifteen.

• 53:43Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 53:44Speaker 03

  And here's the crazy thing, I'm closer in age to my mother-in-law than I am to my wife.

• 53:48Matt McCusker?

  Whoa.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, so it was like a weird dynamic of how we all hang out. Like, I'm nine years older than my wife, but seven years younger than my mother-in-law.

• 53:57Matt McCusker?

  Whoa. Now, can I ask you, is your wife, like, healthy as a horse? I feel like you're healthier when you're born.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  Poor like that? Yes. But like, yes, but there's like, a lot of psychological stuff that happened where like, I can't tell whether this is like, from being poor or just being Latina.

• 54:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 54:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  Because I feel like that is like, the ideal.

• 54:27Matt McCusker?

  Why is Candace so mad? Does she feel like she's being tricked?

• 54:30Speaker 03

  She's just a journalist. Candace, like, I, I, I feel like Candace, she knows the game. She's just trolling all day long. I, I'm always, like, I don't watch all of her shit, but when I do, I'm always looking for her to go. You know what I mean? Like, alright, I got you.

• 54:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, there's a guy, you remember the guy Timothy Leary from Harvard who, like, did a bunch of acid and like, got kicked out?

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:51Matt McCusker?

  In like, the sixties or whatever? He like, came to the conclusion, like, dude, we should be having kids at like, sixteen, the grandpa, your parents should be raising your kids, then when you're your grandparents' age, your kids should have kids when they're sixteen. He's like, it just makes the healthiest humans. Sixteen, seventeen.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's probably true.

• 55:07Matt McCusker?

  Ah, maybe he said eighteen. I don't mean I put smart on his name, but.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  He said fourteen, fifteen, twelve, or something, something like that.

• 55:14Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, because, you know, because there's a thing, man, it's like autism's on like, the rise. We don't, we're not producing the healthiest kids.

• 55:21Speaker 03

  Right, because you think we're making old babies.

• 55:22Matt McCusker?

  Old babies.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:24Matt McCusker?

  Soft come. Old babies.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  Soft show cramps.

• 55:28Matt McCusker?

  Soft show cramps.

• 55:32Matt McCusker?

  So it might be something.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  Maybe you just gotta like have 16 year olds and you know, just freeze their eggs and jizz.

• 55:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  And just keep it, you know, on like a necklace.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  Break it when you're ready.

• 55:44Matt McCusker?

  That's not bad.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  You know?

• 55:46Matt McCusker?

  It's got, I think, I don't think kids have sex anymore even.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  No.

• 55:50Matt McCusker?

  I've heard it's like all, it's dropping off. It's not as, as like it was.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  They're all just jacking off and on the computer.

• 55:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. They're working.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:58Matt McCusker?

  They're working on the computer. They're jacking off on the computer.

• 56:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, God bless them, man.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  It's tough.

• 56:03Matt McCusker?

  Okay, okay. A quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Finals Edition, and it's brought to you by PrizePix. The finals are on and we're not just talking about basketball here. We're talking hockey too. Twice the chance for players to show what they've got and twice the chance for you to get in on the fun. Further prompts to riff. NBA Finals, basketball thoughts. Hot takes about who's going to win? Is Shai just a foul merchant? I'm wondering that.

• 56:31Speaker 06

  He is a foul merchant, but he's gonna get buckets. I would take more every time on Shay.

• 56:36Matt McCusker?

  More.

• 56:36Speaker 06

  More every time on Shay.

• 56:38Matt McCusker?

  More on Shay?

• 56:39Speaker 06

  Yeah, every time.

• 56:41Matt McCusker?

  More on Shay LaBeouf? You just heard that?

• 56:44Matt McCusker?

  Good call. Stanley Cup Finals, thoughts? Hot takes about who's gonna win? Is it the Oilers' year?

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Oilers are gonna make a comeback. I believe it.

• 56:52Matt McCusker?

  Do you think Canada is gonna take it finally? Last time they won, believe it or not, was 1993.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  I know, it was a long time ago, Canadians, 93. I want, I want Edmonton to come back and win it. I think, I think Dre Seidel and McDavid are gonna turn it on. I want Canada to lose.

• 57:09Matt McCusker?

  Canada, less.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  Florida's in the, in the, in the Catbird seat. I think they're up 2-1.

• 57:13Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 57:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:14Matt McCusker?

  All right.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  We'll see.

• 57:15Matt McCusker?

  Love that.

• 57:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:17Matt McCusker?

  When were you, when were you way too confident about making a pick that fell apart?

• 57:23Matt McCusker?

  Oilers to win the cup.

• 57:30Matt McCusker?

  Okay, which team in the NBA Finals do you care more or could care less about?

• 57:35Speaker 06

  Pacers care more, Thunder care less, but they're both good.

• 57:39Matt McCusker?

  You want the Pacers to win?

• 57:41Speaker 06

  I think I want Pacers to win a little more. They're the underdog. I always go for the underdog.

• 57:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I kinda want the Pacers to win as well.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  I want them to win too, cuz I was just in that city and my god, they need it.

• 57:49Speaker 06

  That city stinks.

• 57:53Matt McCusker?

  God, they need a win. And SGA is on Oklahoma City, right? He's Canadian.

• 57:58Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 57:58Matt McCusker?

  So he's rooted against Canada. Last on the Canadian as well. They got a Canadian on their team? Yeah, he's like one of the best players in the league. Is he really? Yeah. Less.

• 58:10Matt McCusker?

  I'm mad Canada won't let us buy their country. I know. I'm pissed off about that. Yeah, come on, join the fucking fold, man. It would be kinda sick. Owning Canada would be awesome. Can't we buy it from the British?

• 58:21Speaker 03

  Wouldn't it? It would also, if they were just one state and it's 51, like this settles that like election thing, right? Cuz it's like now it's an odd number of states.

• 58:34Matt McCusker?

  Wait, why does it matter how many states? I don't understand.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  Cuz then it's not like an even divide of like 25 went this way, 25 went that way. It has to go one way cuz it's an even, odd number of states.

• 58:45Matt McCusker?

  I see what you're saying.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  So every state just gets one vote?

• 58:51Matt McCusker?

  Canada would be hard damn too. They'd be. Yeah, probably. They'd be pretty hard damn. I don't know.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  Ah, yeah, those truckers, the truckers would get filed up, fired up. Calgary is like, they're like Texas and Calgary.

• 59:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Well, we'll have to see what happens. Guys, any particular players, teams, or matchups that you've enjoyed? Does anything surprise you? Do you have any predictions for the rest of the playoffs? I think we got into it. I think we, the Pacers.

• 59:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, I think the Pacers, I mean, I don't actually, I think my prediction is the Thunder's gonna win every single of the next game.

• 59:19Matt McCusker?

  You think so?

• 59:20Speaker 06

  But I don't wanna see that. Yeah.

• 59:21Matt McCusker?

  Didn't the Thunder just lose recently?

• 59:23Speaker 06

  They, they lost recently by like one and like a crazy loss and then they blew them out the next game by like 20.

• 59:29Matt McCusker?

  Damn. Damn. So let's get into it. How do our hot takes fit into the prize picks lineups? Did I mention how easy this app is to use, guys? Please begin with your picks. I think we made them. Uh, we're gonna go, you think the Thunder's gonna win?

• 59:42Speaker 06

  I think Thunder's gonna win.

• 59:44Matt McCusker?

  More, more on certain players.

• 59:46Speaker 06

  Uh, more on Shay, more on Halliburton.

• 59:50Matt McCusker?

  There we go.

• 59:51Speaker 06

  More on, uh, I would go less on Jalen, on Jalen. And less on Chet. Oh, eight rebounds, more on Chet.

• 59:59Speaker 02

  What do they got hockey wise over there?

• 1:00:01Speaker 06

  Uh, don't see it.

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  Okay. I'm gonna go more on Matthias Janmark.

• 1:00:08Matt McCusker?

  There you go.

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:10Matt McCusker?

  Let's, let's lock those two picks in, guys. So that's our take. Now it's time to lock in yours too with prize picks. Win real money with your best takes, whether it's points, rebounds, assists. Take your pick of more or less on their stat projection for your shot to win up to 2,000 times your cash today. Prize picks is available in more than 30 states, including California, Texas, and Georgia. You can submit your picks in 60 seconds or less. It's so easy. We just did it. Download the app today and use code DRENCH to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code DRENCH to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks, run your game.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't know, man. I, I wish I got into sex early. I, I wish I would have waited.

• 1:00:53Matt McCusker?

  Wow, early we talking?

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  I lost my virginity at 14.

• 1:00:55Matt McCusker?

  You're in the drama club?

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 1:00:57Matt McCusker?

  You're in the drama club?

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  What do you think waiting would have done?

• 1:01:02Speaker 03

  I think even to this day, sex is still such a big, big priority. Like, it's like, it's too much of a focal point. And I see other people who don't have it as bad as me and how much more stuff they get done.

• 1:01:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:17Speaker 03

  It's just like, yeah, and I'm so busy just trying to chase. Like I was talking about that last night. I was laughing about how the other night, I'm hanging at the, uh, at the creek. And there was like one girl there.

• 1:01:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:29Speaker 03

  One girl. And I stayed fully occupied and talked to this girl. The minute she left, I was like, all right, well. See you guys later. You know what I mean? Love the mayor, all those guys. I'm like, well, I guess there's no reason to hang out with you guys.

• 1:01:43Matt McCusker?

  Boy, I got real sleepy all the time.

• 1:01:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:46Matt McCusker?

  This feels pointless now.

• 1:01:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:01:50Matt McCusker?

  There really is no point. Well, if you're like not trying to have sex, there's really no point of going out. I try to tell my wife this. I'm like, why are we going out?

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Right, but it's also bad with me on even interacting with women in general. Like if there's no potential of having sex, you'd be like, okay, what is the point of this conversation again?

• 1:02:08Matt McCusker?

  I'm not trying to be rude, but like. I can't even understand you anymore.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  Where are we going? Are we gonna be friends? Like, what is, I don't get it.

• 1:02:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't think you could do that. I genuinely think being like, it's one thing to be friendly with a woman, but to be like, let's chill. I still to my head, it's like, how? Why would you do that?

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  Even because of the age proximity with my mother-in-law, I don't talk to her on the phone. I go through her husband for everything, just because in my mind, there's still that chance.

• 1:02:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 1:02:37Speaker 03

  And it's probably all in my head. It's not real, but that's what it's like.

• 1:02:39Matt McCusker?

  Definitely all in your head. That's insane.

• 1:02:42Speaker 03

  I can't afford her. Are you crazy? Like, no.

• 1:02:49Matt McCusker?

  I suffer from the same thing.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  You can't call my mother-in-law something might happen.

• 1:02:54Matt McCusker?

  Face timing with your shirt off. You're like, I gotta stop doing it.

• 1:03:02Matt McCusker?

  I suffer from the same exact thing of like the, that small voice being like, is she trying to fuck me? I think every time I'll get like an Uber eat slivery. I'm like, was she trying to fuck me?

• 1:03:11Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. I used to go through that as a kid, like, well, as a young adult, going to see the doctor. And like the nurse will say some shit like, okay, uh, take your pants off and hop up on the table. And you're like.

• 1:03:24Matt McCusker?

  That is so funny.

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  Right. You're trying to get it in real quick before the doctor comes? Like, what are we doing here?

• 1:03:30Matt McCusker?

  It is so funny, even when you're like 11 and you just think the nurse is gonna walk in and be like, we've never seen a kid.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  Never in our lives.

• 1:03:39Matt McCusker?

  You are a specimen.

• 1:03:41Speaker 03

  I need you.

• 1:03:42Matt McCusker?

  Dude, when I was younger, I, I assumed, I just assumed wrongly I had a huge dick. I didn't know.

• 1:03:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:48Matt McCusker?

  And then, you know, obviously I eventually learned, came to grips with the reality. I did not. But I just assumed I was just crushing it.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:55Matt McCusker?

  Then I became an adult and I was like, ah, all right. Yeah, definitely not, definitely not. Standard issue for sure.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  I still catch it every once in a while and I go, that's, it's looking good today.

• 1:04:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. The Austin heat is definitely on my side. But I, I've turned that leaf where I now I'm like, you know, hopefully it stays. Cause I suffer from the same thing where it was just like, especially in a relationship, I'm like, I'm counting the days. I'm like, we're gonna have six fucking four days and I start just being really unpleasant.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying, right?

• 1:04:23Matt McCusker?

  I've turned a leaf now where I'm like, and it's kind of, I, I just total reverse psychology. I think it's just a deeper ploy.

• 1:04:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:29Matt McCusker?

  But I've been hitting my wife with like, nah, man, I'm trying to retain, I'm trying to retain. Like maybe once a week max. I even told her, I was like, I just flipped the script on you. But I, I have. We were laughing about this, but I have been, I've done a thing where I'm just like, you let me know. I'm just gonna keep this shit to myself and just, I like, I don't like porn anymore. People are sick of hearing me talk about this, but it's like, I just, I'm just not even, you know, it, it gets to the point. After like a, like a nine day kind of hold in, I'll start just getting like Terminator vision. I think my wife starts to pick up on it. Like, all right, dude, I'll, I'll fucking crank you off.

• 1:05:03Speaker 03

  And that's the good point. She's paying, she's paying attention to you, which she should. That, that's the thing that pisses me off sometimes when I see that in marriages where it's like, a woman is hyper focused on the kids.

• 1:05:12Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  She's hyper focused even on the animals and their need. And it's like, hey, you're not noticing the guy walking around with a fucking chip on his shoulder.

• 1:05:19Matt McCusker?

  I'm breathing like Darth Vader.

• 1:05:25Speaker 03

  My wife, she, thank God, she, and I hope she can keep this up. But like, she's even gotten good at giving me sex before attending events that she knows I don't want to be at.

• 1:05:37Matt McCusker?

  That's nice.

• 1:05:38Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? So it's like, oh, your grandmother's 69th birthday party? All right, I'm gonna go, but like, you know, shit like, don't worry, we'll have sex before you go. And then now I'm just here at the party, relaxed, like, hey, how you guys doing? It's good to see you all. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:53Matt McCusker?

  That, that, I did have the opposite effect on me. If you fucked me before the party, I'd be like, I'm not going to the party.

• 1:06:00Matt McCusker?

  There's no way I'm going to the party.

• 1:06:02Speaker 03

  You need the carrot, you need the carrot.

• 1:06:04Matt McCusker?

  Right.

• 1:06:06Matt McCusker?

  I can't go to the party. Yeah. Yeah, that's actually.

• 1:06:09Speaker 03

  But you gotta do it before because women, they always somehow get tired or get headaches. Like, that's the interesting thing. I see now why women get so many headaches. Does your wife forget to eat a lot?

• 1:06:18Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 1:06:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's the dumbest thing in the world where you're like, I forgot to eat today.

• 1:06:22Matt McCusker?

  It's infuriating.

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:24Matt McCusker?

  It's absolutely fucking infuriating. And I'm like, all right, and it's classic, like, well, we have this in the fridge. I don't want that. It's like, then you're not fucking hungry.

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:06:31Matt McCusker?

  You're not hungry.

• 1:06:34Matt McCusker?

  Eat a, eat a fucking snack.

• 1:06:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:37Matt McCusker?

  We have a bowl of fruit right there.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:40Matt McCusker?

  I'm not hungry for that.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  Lick the bag.

• 1:06:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that, uh, I, I'm, it has been freeing, though, just being like, like, I'll, I'll catch myself in that same feedback loop where I'm like, I should be having, and I'm just like, no, man, just let it go. And it's like, been very freeing.

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  It's such a funny strategy to hold in come until there's like a real threat of violence.

• 1:07:03Speaker 03

  I'm gonna hold this in until. I become so dangerous. She has to jack me off.

• 1:07:10Matt McCusker?

  Dude, after a while.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  She just wakes up and finds him sitting on the foot of the bed. Fucking 5:30 in the morning and he's staring at the wall.

• 1:07:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, you start talking in like three-word answers. Max is like, yes, that'll be fine.

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  It's like when, when pigs become like feral and.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Start throwing tusks in like.

• 1:07:31Matt McCusker?

  Dude, if I, now if I wake up at like 5:30, I just, I'm like, fuck it, I'm up, my day started. Before, I would kind of linger around in bed, be like, see if she's awake. And now I just pop right up. And that's another one. They're like, lay back down. You're like, for what?

• 1:07:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:44Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah. If we're not doing anything, I'm going.

• 1:07:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, that, that is the, uh. That, that is fascinating, that lay around in bed, letting the morning go because you're hoping that she'll wake up at some point and just be in the mood.

• 1:07:57Matt McCusker?

  That's my prime time. She's, yeah, it's a morning, she's a morning gal. So it's like nighttime, she's shattered. She's like going to bed. Morning is like, you know, when I can really get her going.

• 1:08:07Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 1:08:07Matt McCusker?

  But, yeah, now I just get up and I go.

• 1:08:09Speaker 03

  Before the devil knows you're dead.

• 1:08:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:11Speaker 03

  That's the situation.

• 1:08:13Matt McCusker?

  I get up and go, you awake? She's like, no. Well, bye.

• 1:08:17Speaker 03

  Morning though is also dangerous because it's easy to stop dating if you're getting it in the morning. Cause you don't have to get dressed up for that. You don't have to, you know what I mean? And even now.

• 1:08:27Matt McCusker?

  I didn't brush your teeth.

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just like, and then you're not going to get dressed afterwards. Like I'm, I've already achieved everything in life that I wanted today at 6:30 in the morning.

• 1:08:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm done.

• 1:08:36Speaker 03

  There's no reason to do anything else.

• 1:08:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but that even.

• 1:08:39Speaker 03

  I don't even need to go to work. I already got laid.

• 1:08:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm done. That will, I feel like that will set, for me it would, uh, I'm, I'm bad. I'm trying to get better with this, with like married dates. Like we haven't been on a date in a while. It's like, we're done dating. We, we, we're done with that.

• 1:08:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:52Matt McCusker?

  And I'm like, I'm, I just me being autistic. I'm like, I need to get in my office and write.

• 1:08:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:56Matt McCusker?

  And the minute. We need to go out.

• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  The minute you try to reintroduce it, you don't even like, you don't even like it anymore. Because it's like, as older, especially as a married couple trying to date, it's like, then we have to deal with shit like parking.

• 1:09:09Matt McCusker?

  Babysitter.

• 1:09:09Speaker 03

  It's just like so many reasons to not do it once you stop doing it.

• 1:09:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, there's not, there's only, the only reservation's 8:00 PM. I'm like, I'm done. I can't do that. Let's do a 5:30 dinner, come back, let the babysitter off. It, it's also, I, yeah, I don't know, going out to dinner. I don't like being in a room with other people out to dinner. Like a restaurant? Yeah.

• 1:09:31Matt McCusker?

  You know what I mean? On Valentine's Day. Yeah, dude. That's, that's like the worst. I've gone out on Valentine's Day with her like a few years ago. And it's just like couples that have just met, like pulling the chair out for each other. I'm like, alright, man, fuckin' relax. Take it easy. Take it easy, dude. Take it easy.

• 1:09:47Speaker 03

  Right, you're not better than me.

• 1:09:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's the worst. You're sitting at the bar because you didn't make a reservation in time.

• 1:09:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:53Speaker 02

  And everyone else is at an actual table.

• 1:09:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I fucked up this year. I totally put it off to the last minute and tried to do a last minute thing. I'm like, there's like a food hall we can go to.

• 1:10:06Matt McCusker?

  Just a UT cafeteria.

• 1:10:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm trying to get better with the dates. I gotta, I gotta get better.

• 1:10:12Speaker 03

  Valentine's Day. I don't think Terry Black's would be packed.

• 1:10:18Matt McCusker?

  Many options, it's pretty cool.

• 1:10:22Matt McCusker?

  Go shopping afterwards?

• 1:10:23Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 1:10:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm trying to get, I'm trying to get much better with that.

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  Well, it's also the dates feel, I don't know, dates feel unnatural. You know what I mean?

• 1:10:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah. They always feel weird because you've talked, I've like, I've talked to you all day.

• 1:10:35Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, that's the other thing. I think dates, you're, you're being fake on a date. And now, if you're married, you're real. So it's like, I'm not turning on the fake thing.

• 1:10:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:44Speaker 03

  Like, what are we gonna do, you know?

• 1:10:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, exactly. You'd be like, yeah, I come from a big family, uh, what else? Yeah, you're just, it's just us talking about our kids.

• 1:10:51Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 1:10:52Matt McCusker?

  Both being like, fuck, I'm so tired.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:55Matt McCusker?

  And we have like two drinks and eat dinner and we're like, let's get the fuck out of here.

• 1:10:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:59Matt McCusker?

  But, I'm taking her out for a birthday this weekend, a nice little trip.

• 1:11:02Speaker 02

  That'd be nice.

• 1:11:03Speaker 03

  What do you, anything?

• 1:11:04Matt McCusker?

  We're going to Napa. We're taking her to Napa.

• 1:11:06Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:11:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:08Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 1:11:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:09Speaker 02

  That's fun.

• 1:11:10Matt McCusker?

  It'll be cool.

• 1:11:11Speaker 02

  Let's go get fucked up.

• 1:11:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, get hammered.

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  Fight.

• 1:11:16Matt McCusker?

  It's in the cards. It's in the fucking cards.

• 1:11:20Speaker 02

  It's just, two beers is all it takes till I just rip the veneer off.

• 1:11:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we're fighting.

• 1:11:27Matt McCusker?

  We'll be in the back of like one of those little party vans, just be like, fuck, no, you're just.

• 1:11:32Speaker 03

  Why did I do this?

• 1:11:33Matt McCusker?

  Why the fuck did you say that shit to me in that fucking place? Yeah, it'll be, it'll be.

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, shit starts coming up from years or weeks ago.

• 1:11:41Matt McCusker?

  Or it goes the other way, or it's just like totally lovey dovey. It can go either way. When the alcohol kicks in, that's when if you're like nine, 10 days deep, it comes out. You're like, don't even fucking touch me anymore.

• 1:11:54Matt McCusker?

  I saw a thing online, a guy said, if you're not giving me blowjobs, you think I'm a beta and you hate me secretly.

• 1:12:01Matt McCusker?

  And you secretly been, what's it called, lily pad hopping?

• 1:12:04Speaker 03

  Just fucking lily pad hopping to get to a high target alpha male.

• 1:12:07Speaker 02

  It is funny, it is funny in their minds that it's like, a girl does want to suck a dick.

• 1:12:13Matt McCusker?

  That's what they're saying.

• 1:12:14Speaker 02

  At all times.

• 1:12:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, obviously.

• 1:12:16Speaker 02

  So if they're not sucking your dick, they're thinking about another dick to suck, is their logic.

• 1:12:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I, yeah, I mean, or what I think that could be like.

• 1:12:25Speaker 02

  There's no way they could just be living their lives.

• 1:12:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, there's no way they can just be content and be like, thank God I don't have to suck a guy's dick anymore.

• 1:12:32Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 1:12:33Matt McCusker?

  I'm on the account, I'm on the mortgage, I don't have to suck a guy's dick anymore. This is heaven.

• 1:12:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm like for real trying to work my way into like kind of asexuality. I heard you talking about this. I saw a clip of you talking asexuality.

• 1:12:47Speaker 03

  What'd you say into what?

• 1:12:48Matt McCusker?

  Asexuals when it's just like.

• 1:12:49Speaker 03

  Just being non, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:50Matt McCusker?

  I mean, it'll never happen because it's like I will still, I'm still a red blooded guy. Like it builds up quick in me.

• 1:12:56Speaker 03

  That's why I wonder what it was to be like, to be like one of those eunuchs back in the day.

• 1:13:01Matt McCusker?

  So sick.

• 1:13:02Speaker 03

  Like we're like a, you know, like a king would just like castrate a dude and it'd be like, all right, now you stay and hang out with my wife and keep her company while I'm on the road conquering shit.

• 1:13:10Speaker 02

  See, that would suck. It's the choice, being able to like the, the, the total denial of sexual desire does seem like it's like a, the ultimate power.

• 1:13:20Matt McCusker?

  You'd be so clear. That's why they were like the advisors, like they were like the most trusted advisor. You'd be like, bro, hit me with like a clear. You're like, dude, you're just trying to fuck the princess in Siberia. And you're like, you're right. You're right. I don't have to go invade that place. You're right.

• 1:13:33Speaker 03

  I live in a state of total post nut clarity.

• 1:13:38Matt McCusker?

  It's literally no nut clarity. Complete, just like, you know what? Is that really necessary? Like, yeah, I'm just spinning out, dude. I'm gonna go, it's like every time they're probably like, uh, your sire, I think you should just go rub one out. I think you'll feel the good call.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  So funny, a guy being like, guys are nuts. It's like, well, maybe we should hire a woman advisor.

• 1:13:58Speaker 02

  Just get a guy, cut his dick off.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  That's what we need.

• 1:14:08Matt McCusker?

  Maybe we should all consult with the duchess. It's like, dude, relax, relax. We'll figure this out.

• 1:14:17Matt McCusker?

  That, and I think they were, that was like an esteemed position. So if you were like, if you just got conquered, you know, and they like cut your dick off, dudes would be like, lucky. You're just headed to be like a galley slave. You're like, dude, for real, cut my dick off. Just.

• 1:14:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:29Matt McCusker?

  The bottom of a boat for your whole life. Just.

• 1:14:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:32Speaker 02

  Just rowing.

• 1:14:33Speaker 03

  It's the way you come in and show your loyalty.

• 1:14:35Speaker 02

  Sir, I'm here to serve you forever.

• 1:14:38Matt McCusker?

  I wonder if you get phantom, just tucked.

• 1:14:40Speaker 02

  Phantom boners.

• 1:14:41Matt McCusker?

  You know, like phantom limb syndrome.

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  Yeah. Or like they at least dream that they still have a dick.

• 1:14:48Matt McCusker?

  I feel like at that point, your nipples would just get really hard. Your nipples just stick out. But I don't think you'd even really protect, uh, you wouldn't have a lot of testosterone, I don't think at that point.

• 1:14:59Speaker 02

  I don't know, but it's, you still gotta be, I don't know, right? You still gotta be able to feel it. In a dream situation, you could, you know, you could have like a, man, having a wet dream with no.

• 1:15:09Matt McCusker?

  You know, have you ever seen your dick in a dream?

• 1:15:11Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:15:12Matt McCusker?

  I don't think I ever have. It's crazy.

• 1:15:13Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:15:15Matt McCusker?

  Which is weird too, because remember as a kid, you would have like those like.

• 1:15:18Speaker 02

  Other people have seen my dick in a.

• 1:15:21Matt McCusker?

  Like, yeah, I have this one where like my whole elementary school points and laughs.

• 1:15:28Speaker 02

  Stage.

• 1:15:29Matt McCusker?

  So, yeah, I've never seen my dick in a dream. They say you don't see cell phones in dreams typically. It's very rare to see a cellphone in a dream.

• 1:15:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. But I've just started dreaming again. I think it's because I've, I've reduced my weed intake and man, I've been having nightmares, like full on nightmares.

• 1:15:45Matt McCusker?

  Comes back hard, yeah.

• 1:15:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, man, but uh.

• 1:15:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I had that. I went through a run of that. I went on like a three day bender watching baseball games.

• 1:15:54Speaker 02

  And then I came back and I like, like six, six nights in a row had every bullshit dream you could have. Teeth falling out, falling off a cliff.

• 1:16:06Matt McCusker?

  Naked.

• 1:16:06Speaker 02

  Stuck in a wedge, naked.

• 1:16:08Matt McCusker?

  Stuck in a wedge sucks. I've done that. I've done stuck in a wedge where it's almost like a lucid dream and it like fucking, I'm like trapped under a staircase being like, dude, get me the fuck out of here.

• 1:16:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, it sucks. Covered in bees. It was covered in bees.

• 1:16:21Matt McCusker?

  You're just waking up and watching the Phillies again the next day.

• 1:16:26Speaker 02

  It was so sad.

• 1:16:27Matt McCusker?

  What's a three day baseball bender like? That sounds kind of nice.

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  It was fucking awesome. My, my lady accidentally bought tickets to the entire like college baseball regional final. And so there's.

• 1:16:38Matt McCusker?

  Oh, so this was live?

• 1:16:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. So we, and we, I lived right next to the baseball stadium. So we would just wake up, walk over to the baseball stadium, start drinking, watching like Houston Christian versus University of Texas, San Antonio. It was great.

• 1:16:54Matt McCusker?

  I thought you were in front of the tube.

• 1:16:56Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:16:56Matt McCusker?

  I thought you were in front of the tube. I thought you were going like full pop up mode. I'm like, that's powerful.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  No, no, no. We were going to the game, just getting hammered.

• 1:17:03Matt McCusker?

  That's fun.

• 1:17:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was great.

• 1:17:05Matt McCusker?

  I like that.

• 1:17:06Speaker 02

  But then, you know, the dreams afterwards. Normally I'll get crazy dreams, but this was just like straight out of the textbook.

• 1:17:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:14Speaker 02

  Bullshit.

• 1:17:15Matt McCusker?

  Teeth falling out is bullshit. I get teeth falling out, jumping and floating. That's a good, cool one. I get every now and again where I can jump and like hover in the air.

• 1:17:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:22Matt McCusker?

  Or just somehow like jump and then like fly like I'm like a plastic bag. I get those a lot where I can jump and it's kind of like, and it's, I'm like showing everyone like dudes, I can, I knew I could do this.

• 1:17:32Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:17:33Matt McCusker?

  Fly around.

• 1:17:34Speaker 02

  I feel like flying is the hardest thing to do in a dream.

• 1:17:36Matt McCusker?

  I fly. I do. I get like, not like pure flight, but I can jump and I can learn, I can like float my body.

• 1:17:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:42Matt McCusker?

  Over buildings and come back down. It's like really realistic. I'm like, oh fuck, I'm coming down hard. And I'm able to like, it's pretty cool.

• 1:17:48Speaker 02

  It does feel like a measure of your confidence.

• 1:17:50Matt McCusker?

  Maybe.

• 1:17:51Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like somewhere in your brain, you're still going, there's no way I could actually fly, but I'll sail along like a bag.

• 1:18:00Speaker 02

  It's like, I am doing it.

• 1:18:01Matt McCusker?

  Just my brain telling me I'm just drifting pointlessly through life.

• 1:18:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. I've done, I've had those because I can never, never flown in a dream ever, but I've tried. I did say I jumped super high, but then I just come back down. Then I wake up and I'm like, it was a fucking dream and I couldn't fly.

• 1:18:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:18Speaker 02

  The fuck, dude?

• 1:18:19Matt McCusker?

  Time, time for the game.

• 1:18:22Matt McCusker?

  Time for the clean raiders to play.

• 1:18:27Matt McCusker?

  We had a motherfucking hour? All right, let's stop and slide in the page you're on.

• 1:18:30Speaker 02

  All right, we're.

• 1:18:43Speaker 00

  Clothes shopping really isn't my thing, but I still want to look sharp and feel confident. That's why I use Stitch Fix, the OG personal styling service. No more scrolling through websites or wasting my day at the store. My stylist sends pieces picked just for me, straight to my door. Free shipping, free returns, no subscription required. Get started today at stitchfix.com. That's stitchfix.com.

• 1:19:11Speaker 07

  Shaq here. What's it like to buy a car from Carvana 100% online and get it delivered to your door? Let me tell you. Your car is here, Mr. Shaq. Thank you, Mr. Carvana guy. Can't wait to take it for a spin. Only the best for you, Mr. Shaq. Hey, have you always been so big, tall, and handsome? Not always. I was 6'10" once. Seven days to love it or return it, Mr. Shaq. Not that I would. You never do. No, I never do. So buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply. See our seven-day return policy at carvana.com.