Believe in Darnold, Burrow’s Playoff Shadow, Week 18 Madness and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss Jayden Daniels and the Commanders' overtime win against the Falcons on 'SNF,' an updated playoff picture, and Packers-Vikings (01:14). Then, they talk about whether the Bengals have a real shot at making the playoffs, another sad Jets loss, a very tight MVP race, the Giants beating the Colts and drastically changing their projected draft pick, and more (28:01). Finally they Guess the Lines for NFL Week 18 (53:14), before closing the show with Parent Corner (01:17:09). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Kyle Crichton and Chia Hao Tat The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

  It's the Bill Simmons Podcast. We're going live on a Sunday night with Cousin Sal. Week 17 was a little crazy, not too crazy. Week 18 is gonna be crazy and it's all coming up next. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. It's football season. Uber Eats is delivering deals every game day. This week, get 10 free boneless wings from Wingstop on qualifying orders. Game on, flavor on, Wingstop is here. So if your fantasy league is coming over for some in-person smack talk, order Wingstop on Uber Eats and get 10 boneless wings free. It's the perfect way to keep everyone fed tonight so you can focus on the game. No matter who scores big tonight, you'll score a great deal. Order now and get 10 boneless wings free from Wingstop, only on Uber Eats.

• 0:40Bill Simmons?

  Offer valid from September 14th to September 27th and from November 2nd to November 16th. Order minimum before taxes and fees is required. See retailer's storefront for details. Taxes, fees, and terms apply. Product availability varies by region. Exclusions may apply. See app for details. This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You know how at the end of the season, your team goes to Cancun? Sometimes earlier than expected, sometimes after blowing a 3-1 series lead, but what if you went to Cancun? With Expedia, save up to 30% when you bundle and save. You can book the flight or the hotel now, then book the rest later. In all fairness, though, hopefully, your team doesn't go to Cancun. 1-2-3 Cancun.

• 1:21Bill Simmons?

  Or if they do, you go with them. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save. Savings vary. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where I put up a brand new episode of the Rewatchables. Every Monday night, including tomorrow night, we are doing Friday Night Lights, the movie. I tweeted about this from the Rewatchables account because it's on Netflix, actually, for the next couple of days. But 20 year anniversary of this movie in 2024, and it's in the running for one of the best football movies ever. Some people think it might be first. We're gonna talk about that and a lot more on the podcast that's going up Monday night. You can watch that on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel as well. You can watch all the clips and videos from this podcast

• 2:03Bill Simmons?

  on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. Coming up, Cousin Sal and I, live, Sunday night. We're doing it. Let's bring in Pearl Jam.

• 2:33Bill Simmons?

  We just watched Washington, Atlanta, and you lost your wise wager.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Which was?

• 2:41Bill Simmons?

  You were 13 and 2 for the season. You had Washington 24 and a half under.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:48Bill Simmons?

  Which seemed like when Atlanta was about to score in the last minute, you were gonna win it. And then Raheem Morris is like, how many timeouts can I take into overtime? Turned out he had the wrong answer and Atlanta blows it. Roller coaster ride of the game. Washington makes the playoffs. Atlanta is now in a lot of trouble. This is one of my favorite podcasts to do. The, heading into week 18, we have all our playoff scenarios. Trying to guess the lines, but Atlanta is gonna be kicking themselves all week.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was all, well, first of all, I have too much shit going on, right? I had the under 24 and a half, but I also have Tampa Bay to win the South. So I'm rooting against Atlanta, but rooting for Atlanta to stop Washington and rooting for Raheem Morris to get his brain out of his ass. Like those skip timeouts is just, of course you want 22 seconds with one timeout is better than seven seconds and two timeouts. And then he takes one before. And then like, you have a tired defense, except for one drive. They were on the field the entire second half. Start calling your timeouts then too. Like get them a little fresh so that Jayden Daniels isn't running for seven yards. But yeah, it was, congratulations. We have a lot of Washington fans, friends in our club here.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  But um, I don't know, not, not, a weird win, a weird win for sure.

• 4:02Bill Simmons?

  Well, our favorite Washington fan is Chang, because we were on a text with him. And Chang gets so mad during these games that I told him I would, I would do a Patreon subscription for Chang's like texts during every Washington game. He was so mad. It was a lot of fuck this team. I hope the guy makes the field goal. We're loser.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  He's out of control. I think he's gonna send like a poison noodles over to Dan Quinn or something. I don't know what he's up to, what he's capable of.

• 4:32Bill Simmons?

  So the timeout, so they got, they had basically to midfield, there's 40 seconds left and or 35 seconds left, whatever it was. They had two timeouts left. And it was interesting because Brady, who I thought was good today during the Vikings Green Bay game, he was talking about this timeout, the exact timeout scenario at the end of the first half. And he was saying how when he liked to do it, if he had two timeouts left with under two minutes left, he always thought of it as take one timeout in that one minute to two minute mark, take the second one somewhere between 30 and a, in a minute, and then save that third one for the kicker. And I was thinking about that as I was watching Atlanta just completely mangled the same situation and just basically take two timeouts and the 12

• 5:14Bill Simmons?

  seconds left in the game. They didn't do that at all. Yeah. I think if they called timeout, I think they would have kicked a field goal and scored.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Well, here's the thing, everything's situational, right? So Brady's theory is right. Add to it, you got a rookie quarterback there on the road, might want to just get him a couple plays, stop the clock anyway, if you're not sure. And you have a kicker who can't make it from 35. So you want to get it closer than, than you even got it. So what, everything points to calling a timeout with like 35 seconds left and they didn't do it.

• 5:41Bill Simmons?

  For some reason, I was thinking about you during this whole like fourth quarter because you've been so hot and you've had some luck with these wise wagers. And I've been hot on million dollar picks. Like, we're doing great. And I, and this had gotten to the point where I was like, Atlanta's gonna somehow win this game 27-24. And we're gonna be like, how did Sal do it again? How did he pull this out? And Atlanta's driving down and see what's gonna happen. Then it, then the other way, Washington had the ball. And they're driving down, they're driving down, and it felt like they were setting up for the, where they were gonna go for, to win the game on fourth and one and not get it. And then Atlanta would either play for the tie or do whatever, but.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  I think the, if I could speak broadly, and I think you had Atlanta plus four and a half on something you were saying before the podcast.

• 6:26Bill Simmons?

  I was upset.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  There's favorites winning and covering, and then there's favorites winning and covering like Cincinnati did, and like Washington did today. Like when you're.

• 6:35Bill Simmons?

  Well, how about, how about everyone in week 17?

• 6:38Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying. Like, there's all of that. And then there's crazy covers like this where neither Cincinnati or Washington deserved it, except for some craziness that happened in overtime and some, uh, bad brain farts from coaches.

• 6:52Bill Simmons?

  Bigger picture, the favorites were 14 and 1 in week 17, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  That's why we're not too upset. That's why we're, that's why we have our chin up here.

• 7:01Bill Simmons?

  Well, yeah, there were some very good, uh, some very good money line parlays, all kinds of plays. 14 and 1 near the, at this point of the season for favorites. If you had, if I had said to you heading into this week, somebody's going 14 and 1, favorites are underdogs. I just would have assumed underdogs, right? It's, this is right around the time of the year when weird shit happens left and right, but that, that's not what happened. So Atlanta, who's somehow kinda still alive, it feels like they went to Penix, what, three weeks too late? Four weeks too late, even though he's up and down, he's still way better than Cousins is.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  I was gonna send this to you and I'm like, maybe this is an overreaction, but when he was like flying in the first half, I was like, man, if they had put him in like a month ago, they might be fighting for the one seed. Maybe that's a little, little strong.

• 7:47Bill Simmons?

  Cause of their schedule?

• 7:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, but for sure, they might've had this, uh, NFC South locked up.

• 7:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they would have, they would be at 10 wins already. I think, I think it's fair to say Cousins probably cost them three to four wins by being unable to move.

• 8:03Bill Simmons?

  What's weird though, eh, we're in this weird situation where Atlanta, Penix, I think is the starting quarterback. I don't know if he's ever gonna be an all pro or anything, but he's clearly pretty good. You know, he's, he's at least on that, I think has a chance to be on that Bo Nix level, maybe one notch higher, he's older. But you also can't praise Atlanta for this because they spent a hundred million dollars on Kirk Cousins and destroyed their salary cap. So like if you're, if you're talking to GM Terry Fontana, who Lombardi always used to make fun of, I'm really like, Terry, great Penix pick. You almost can't say that because the pick was so illogical when he did it. And I was thinking today, like, imagine if they had taken, um, i- if, if they had spent that free agent Cousins money.

• 8:48Bill Simmons?

  Like one other defensive player, two defensive players, whatever. And instead they put off that. And this is what happens. You end up losing this game in OT because your defense can't do anything. This is what we were saying in April when they took Penix. If you're gonna spend all that money on Cousins, use the eighth pick on a defensive player. Or if you know you're gonna take Penix, use the free edge of money on a defensive player. And they didn't do either.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  It's a little different what I'm about to bring up, but it's kind of what San Francisco like. You really want to praise everything they did. They after what they spent on Trey Lance. It wasn't, you know, wasn't money, but draft capital and might've won the Super Bowl. If you had some position plugged in on defense against Kansas City and now you're paying the price. But yeah, it's a, there's some odd stuff going on. I mean, I know you like your quarterback. I feel like you'd need to see two or three years out of these guys. And in Sam Donald's case, seven years, but at least two or three.

• 9:40Bill Simmons?

  Sam Darnold, the most emotional Twitter video during the season we've seen all year. Sam Darnold coming back late to the Vikings locker room and it turned into like a sports movie scene. I was waiting for explosions for in the sky to play in the background. Playoff picture, and we'll talk about it. There's so much shit to go through, but.

• 9:59Speaker 01

  I have, I feel naked not knowing the schedule. You and I love, we love the playoff schedule, right?

• 10:04Bill Simmons?

  Well, I want to guess this.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  We love the week 18 and we're like seven year olds waiting for Santa to come down the chimney. We just, I keep refreshing. I don't see anything. I see the Jimmy Carter, Jake Paul fight is rescheduled, but I don't see anything on week 18 yet. This is terrible.

• 10:21Bill Simmons?

  Every, we're on this text thread with our cousin and a whole bunch of people. And anytime a super old celebrity dies, it's always like, what was the cause of death? And we do Jimmy Carter, my favorite president, by the way, but anytime it's a hundred, like what was the cause of death? Anyway, um, NFC playoff picture, Washington is at least the seven seed, right? Possibility they can sneak into six seed, but Green Bay would have to lose to Chicago. But we're looking at two seed Philly versus seven seed Washington, which I'm not happy about if I'm Washington. Three, six is Rams, Green Bay. I'm super happy if I'm Green Bay playing the Rams, the way their offenses look. Four or five would be Tampa, Minnesota, which is an awesome game.

• 11:04Bill Simmons?

  Or at Atlanta, Minnesota, if something funky happens a week 18.

• 11:09Bill Simmons?

  AFC, it looks like we're gonna have Buffalo versus Denver unless Denver completely chokes and gets Carson Wentz and we'll go in all those scenarios in a second. Baltimore against the Chargers and then Houston, Pittsburgh. And I didn't tell you I was gonna do this, you're gonna be mad, but I already made guesses for the round one schedule and I'm gonna throw this at you.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  Uh, don't do that yet, yeah?

• 11:32Bill Simmons?

  No, I'm doing it.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  All right, well, I definitely agree on the Shaky's game. There's a lot of shaky quarterbacks that belong in the Shaky's game, but I, I think we, we're on, on the same page with that.

• 11:42Bill Simmons?

  Well, we talked, we texted about the Shaky's game, which if you haven't seen our listener on pod before, it's the first game on, on the Saturday of round one. Our, uh, our knockout league that we're in, the loser used to have to buy pizza for everybody else for the first game and we would do it at Shaky's in Santa Monica, which we made plenty jokes about. Is it still open or no?

• 12:03Speaker 01

  I think they closed it, um, after we stopped going. I think we were probably the only one there.

• 12:09Bill Simmons?

  That was like the last thing?

• 12:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:10Bill Simmons?

  So anyway, Pittsburgh, Houston is the most, I, I would say that's like a minus 1,200 favorite to be the Shaky's game.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:18Bill Simmons?

  With the way Houston's look, with Russell Wilson, I don't see how it's not the Shaky's game.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  I'm trying to think who else it would be. All right, you're, you're gonna give me all of them? Go ahead.

• 12:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Well, these are my guesses and you tell me, I'll rip through them and you tell me.

• 12:29Speaker 01

  I mean, there's a Monday game in there, you got them all.

• 12:30Bill Simmons?

  You're right. So Saturday night is gonna be Amazon.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:35Bill Simmons?

  And I think that's Green Bay Rams and they keep it in LA. Al Michaels is super happy, it's like a 35 minute drive for him.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 12:43Bill Simmons?

  Um, Amazon in LA, Amazon is in LA. I, so I was going Green Bay Rams for that. And then Sunday, Denver Buffalo, uh, the Chargers versus Baltimore and then Washington, Philly as the Sunday night game, but you could flip that and you could make Washington, Philly, the Fox game with Brady. And then Chargers, Ravens, Sunday night. And then my last prediction. Bucks versus the Vikings in Tampa Bay, Monday night, Monday Night Football.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  On Monday?

• 13:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. What are your thoughts?

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Only thing with that is, I'm not ready. I'm not, I feel like I'm not ready for this.

• 13:23Bill Simmons?

  I didn't prepare. I tell you to prep. I wanted to throw this at you.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  Well, here's what could throw it off. I really think the Chargers want that five seed now. I think they're gonna fight for it. They're in a good spot if they get that five seed. Of course you want to go to Houston now. By the way, if they get by that, I know the Chiefs, we're gonna have to praise them. We have to. But that's not a bad, you know, deal for Harbaugh. They played him twice. They lost by two. They lost by seven. What a, what a thing that would be for Harbaugh to go into Kansas City and win. I think that's the ideal spot for the Chargers. So I think that would throw off a little. The only thing I would say about a Saturday night, I think they like an outdoor game there. They had the Chiefs Dolphins, so I'm not sure what that would, I know that doesn't agree with Al's, you know, habits, but what would it be?

• 14:08Bill Simmons?

  We gotta look out for Al. So Chargers, to get the five seed, the Chargers would have to beat the Raiders. And Pittsburgh would have to lose to Joe Burrow in Cincinnati. And that's the path. I wanted to, I was gonna do this later, but I'd rather just throw this at you right now.

• 14:26Bill Simmons?

  And I know the Ravens aren't gonna tank week 18, but if you're the Ravens, just fundamentally looking at this big picture, we're trying to make the Super Bowl. If you're the Ravens, would you rather be the five seed or the three seed? Cause if I'm the three seed, I have a home game against almost definitely the Chargers. Unless, it's either the Chargers or Pittsburgh home game.

• 14:51Bill Simmons?

  And then round two, I'm going to Buffalo, if I'm the three seed. I'm going to Buffalo unless Buffalo shockingly loses. If I'm the five seed, I play Houston.

• 15:01Bill Simmons?

  Which and I'll be favored and I should beat Houston. And then unless there's an upset, I'm going to KC for round two, who hasn't played a meaningful game in a month. And if your goal is to make the Super Bowl, I'd rather, we always talk about this, I'd rather catch KC in that round two game when they're a little rusty.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:18Bill Simmons?

  So I know Baltimore is going to try to win. I know it's better to be at home, but you could argue it's a better path for them to be the five seed.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Well, first of all, we'll go over the lines in a second, but maybe this will clear it up. And there's so much speculation, the Saturday games are out.

• 15:30Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  And there's two of them.

• 15:31Bill Simmons?

  They, were you right? You had guesses on this.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  I had one right. It's Browns Ravens and Bengals Steelers. So.

• 15:39Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  The Ravens go, the Ravens are first. The Ravens are 130. I don't know why they're doing this, actually. It doesn't, it doesn't benefit them. So the Ravens are 130, the Bengal Steelers are five. These are Pacific times. If the Ravens win, and they should, then the Steelers could lose and the Chargers do get that five. And we're talking all different things here.

• 16:01Bill Simmons?

  Well, you have for the Steelers Bengals game, Bengals trying to keep their playoff hopes alive.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:06Bill Simmons?

  Steelers trying to either be five or six, but you want to be five. So that game actually becomes meaningful. So that's probably why they, why they.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Oh, I guess so. Right. Yeah, they would still try. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I mean, I, it's, is it so meaningful that you would want to not rest your starters for the following week? That, that's always a thing with, I don't know, when we think it's meaningful, it usually isn't.

• 16:29Bill Simmons?

  Well, who, to me, who is the worst playoff team to you other than the AFC seven seed? Because I think you could make a case, it's the Rams.

• 16:40Bill Simmons?

  And the Rams are going to be the three seed, but if I'm Green Bay, I'm a hundred percent delighted to play the Rams in round one. The Rams can't score 20 points anymore. And they got, I thought dominated by the Cardinals on Saturday night. I can't believe we had to sweat out that LA LA parlay like that. That was.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:57Bill Simmons?

  It ended up coming down to Kyler Murray whipping a 130 mile an hour pass off his tight end's head that bounced up in the air for an interception. But the Rams did nothing offensively to win that game. And I would, I would want to play them over anyone except the AFC seven seed, I think.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  They are a bizarre team. They scored, I mean, it was four weeks ago. They scored 44 against Buffalo.

• 17:18Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  And then the next three weeks, they scored 44 combined. And Cooper Cup.

• 17:22Bill Simmons?

  Feels like they ran out of gas.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  Cup commits mass murder on fantasy owners all over the nation. Like, so.

• 17:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think they did kind of run out of gas. I don't know, McVeigh, that was some questionable calls by him, but you're right. Like Kyler just, he did his thing. He got too excited. He's now 13 and 29 straight up in November, December games and one and 17 in the division.

• 17:46Bill Simmons?

  Jesus. So Rudy just texted us that. And you know what? I did a shitload of research for this podcast. I really thought I was prepared. Somehow I missed this. Green Bay is not guaranteed to be the six seed. It could actually be Washington because Washington wins the tiebreaker. So if both of them win, Washington is going to be the six seed.

• 18:07Speaker 01

  Oh, Washington gets it if they win. Oh, yeah, because they have the win now, right? They're the same record. Yeah. All right.

• 18:12Bill Simmons?

  So.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  So who's going to try?

• 18:14Bill Simmons?

  Well, if you're Washington, I mean, first of all, they're going to have a lot of fans at that Rams game if it's Washington at the Rams.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:24Bill Simmons?

  But if you're Green Bay, that's a disaster. You go from, you know, so people didn't know how much that Minnesota game meant today. It actually meant a shitload because it's different to potentially playing the Rams or playing.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:37Bill Simmons?

  Philly, who's the two seed.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  And you're going to have a 13 win team as a wild card. I don't think it's ever happened before, right?

• 18:46Bill Simmons?

  The Vikings, let's talk about that Vikings Packers game.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  It's a good one.

• 18:51Bill Simmons?

  A lot of people love the Packers.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:54Bill Simmons?

  It turned into an everybody believes in us, nobody believes in us situation, which I didn't fully know on Thursday, but by the time we got to Sunday, I was betting on the Vikings. And that line was moving. That line was the most erratic line of the year. It was minus one and a half, plus one and a half, even, back to minus one and a half. By game time, it was even, which is, I think. What, three times this year, we've had an even line at game time?

• 19:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. So now we, we know now that I guess they have something to play for with the six seed, five seed, but really compared to Minnesota, they didn't have as much to play for, right? And Minnesota's fighting for the one seed. They have the better record. They were a one and a half point favorite when we did guess the lines, then it moved to Green Bay, like you said, is favored. Then Minnesota settled in. I'm like, I'm staying away. They gave us six free money line wins going into Sunday, which was insane. But, uh, why is this, why is everybody taking the Packers here? And, you know, I, I, I can't do a lap because they won by two points, but I think they did. It was perfect what they did because I think all these NFC North teams are able to catch up. They're eventually going to get to 25, 28, 30 points, but the defense played great for three quarters.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  They really did. Like Flores had them, like Cashman, Shaq Griffin, Van Ginkle. They're all locked in step and K O C. Did a great job with 220 left bleeding the clock. We'll talk about it. He did it better than anybody's done it, really.

• 20:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he's coach of the year. He has to be. It's crazy that Harbaugh completely rejuvenated, rejuvenated the Chargers. Made chicken salad, chicken, hold on, I'm going to get this right. Made chicken salad out of chicken shit.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Good.

• 20:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I did it. I nailed it. Um, and he's not going to win coach of the year. You think like where that team was last year, all the stuff he did for them, they had some injuries too. It wasn't like, it was like the easiest season. Um, and he has no chance.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. J J McCarthy was supposed to be our guy. Yeah.

• 20:46Bill Simmons?

  Well, so K O C, I think he gets it. The Packers. You know, their five losses, two against the Lions, two against the Vikings, one against the Eagles. And this was everybody's Super Bowl sleeper. It'd be nice if they beat one of the top three teams in their division one or conference once. Um, I'm also not positive. I really like Jordan Love and I think he's good in spurts. And I've watched the game that they played today. I feel like six times in the last year and a half, where they kind of suck. He misses a couple of throws. They're a little erratic. All of a sudden they're behind and then they do this furious rally with like a quarter left or half a quarter left.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:27Bill Simmons?

  And then the score that they played this this exact Minnesota game happened already in the first month of the season where they were way behind, rallied back and the final score they lost by two. This was not a two-point loss. Minnesota dominated the game. Field goal kicker missed two field goals.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 21:43Bill Simmons?

  I just felt like that they this was a double figures win. Now it will say they won by two.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Then they pressured him the whole game and Green Bay couldn't really pressure Darnold. Right? No, that seemed like the difference. The one thing I'll say is I wonder if Watson really makes a big difference for this offense.

• 21:59Bill Simmons?

  I think he does.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, like him not being there. I don't know. It was some nice spots in there. Jaden Reed's a fun player, but he'll he'll disappear for like quarters at a time, right?

• 22:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  I mean, he had a one reception, five yard game a couple of weeks ago and today it took him a while to get going, but.

• 22:15Bill Simmons?

  I thought it might be a double tight end game for them.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:19Bill Simmons?

  Like just being more physical. They were like Brady was really bullish on them riding Jacobs and he's comparing McCordillan and all these different running backs, but uh, the Vikes played great and darn it, they've been underestimated all year. I really regret on Thursday not going all in on them because I think they're really good. I like, I think they could absolutely beat Detroit. I could absolutely see them in the Super Bowl. Um, watching them today, I was thinking, cause I felt the same way watching that Cincinnati game and I had Denver plus seven and a half in that one. So I actually ended up hitting it, but since he's so scary when they have the ball and they just need eight yards or they're it's third and eight, it's third and six,

• 22:58Bill Simmons?

  it's second and 10 and they have those two receivers and it just feels like anytime Borough wants, he can hit somebody for eight yards on and out, or he can hit them down the sidelines or cross or whatever. I think Minnesota has the same thing. Those two receivers, when they really, really need to complete a pass, they can find one of those guys, it seems like.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  Sam Darnold doesn't seem like he's gonna blow a game. The coach doesn't seem like he's gonna blow a game. The defense seems like it's gonna play good enough for long enough. I don't think like going forward, are they, are they gonna be an underdog at any point by more than two points? Or three points? I don't think you can make it. Who would have to be home, Detroit? No, no, no way.

• 23:37Bill Simmons?

  Well, we'll see. You should have said today, they should have been at least like a one and a half or two point favorite. And

• 23:42Speaker 01

  Right.

• 23:43Bill Simmons?

  The market said otherwise. I just think people, Sam Darnold, three years in the Jets, two in Carolina, he was on the Niners last year. And I just think people are slow to come around on this, but he's been making, he's been doing this all year. Really consistently. And I said last week to you, I felt like, um, when I really needed to make a play and that come from behind game last week. I was like, I, I think he's gonna do it. Like, I believe, I believe he's gonna make the play. Felt the same way in this game today. I just felt like he was gonna come through. He has one shaky throw a game, but I think you could say that about literally any quarterback in the league.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  I don't think it's fluky at this point. I think like we can move on to the next argument like with, oh, J J McCarthy, keep him or trade him. Like this guy, you're not gonna have results like Sam Arnold put out there. And it's not, it just feels different from the team two, three years ago, whatever it was, where Cousins won every game by one score. It's just something about it like, yeah, this guy fits in this offense and it's gonna work for a little bit.

• 24:41Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Raheem, not Raheem Morris guy who took two timeouts into the overtime. Our friend Raheem is on the Ringer Sunday pregame. He had a good tweet about this one score win-loss record, which has become a really fun way. When we talk about teams after the fact or during the season, is this real? Is this not real? And the theory is like, if you're eight and one, nine and one, 10 and one in one score games, there's something fluky about that. We've talked about this a lot for years and there was that Cousins Vikings year a couple of years ago. When they just had crazy luck in one score games, but we knew they weren't good.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 25:19Bill Simmons?

  I don't feel that way at all about this Vikings team. I think they're legitimately good and I actually think they shouldn't have been in as many one score games as they were because they just had these dumb games that all of a sudden in the last five minutes, the other team scored.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  This was

• 25:32Bill Simmons?

  Whatever. So I, to me, they're not like, to me, they're a legitimate, uh, awesome contender. And I, I think you could make the case. I think I would bet against them in any against any NFC team.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  Wait, say that again. You would do what?

• 25:48Bill Simmons?

  I think I'm sorry.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:51Bill Simmons?

  No, I screwed up. I think I would bet on them.

• 25:54Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 25:54Bill Simmons?

  Against any NFC team. I like them the most.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so too. It's really tough. That coach just showed me so much. When two minutes 20 seconds, Green Bay has three timeouts, almost anybody just runs it into the line three times and you have to treat it like you're losing the game at that point. That's exactly what he did. The next four plays, three of them were throws. None really like to Jefferson or Addison or like Hawkinson. Like it was like all just like nice plays, but they made it nice and easy and Donald's just so comfortable in that situation.

• 26:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And the second down, it was like second and nine, Jefferson was cutting across and Donald just whipped it and it was, it was a great throw, but it was probably four receivers in the league can get that extra like split second of a step and also make the catch in traffic. And then the game ender, they ran the classic fake, everybody runs to the left. Oh, the quarterback circles around to the right, lofts over the screen pass. I, it's one of the best plays. I almost turned into Collinsworth when I watched that. I just love that. I just love when teams do that.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  Bill, you know, there's only one Lamar Jackson, but there's another one here with, with Michael Pennington, maybe even a third one with Jayden Daniels. And the referees are Lamar Jackson. Everyone's Lamar Jackson.

• 27:14Bill Simmons?

  I can't believe the J J McCarthy thing is even a question at this point. There's no way that Donald's their quarterback now. This is, this is done. It's a wrap. It's like, this is Brady Bledsoe multiplied by 17. Brady Bledsoe even heading into the playoffs was still an argument. There's no argument anymore. Whether they keep McCarthy for a year and just, you know, keep him as a backup and then figure out what to do. But considering the quarterback class is pretty shaky.

• 27:42Bill Simmons?

  Beyond the top two, I feel like they could get like a mid first round pick for him or a late first rounder or high second rounder, somewhere in like the 15 to 35 range, right?

• 27:52Speaker 01

  Well, the best part is, is teams like the Giants dropping out of the top two quarterback slot, right?

• 27:58Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 27:58Speaker 01

  And who may have to trade up to get like a J.J. McCarthy.

• 28:02Bill Simmons?

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• 28:46Bill Simmons?

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• 29:29Bill Simmons?

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• 30:14Bill Simmons?

  All right, switching gears, there's some big questions left. Can the Bengals make the playoffs is one of them? Which I think everybody wants, just as football fans, because Burrow's been so great this year. The scenario is this, they have to beat Pittsburgh. Denver has to lose to Carson Wentz and the Chiefs. And the Dolphins have to lose to that hot garbage Jets team, who was just a complete train wreck of an embarrassment until Tyrod Taylor came in in the fourth quarter. And now granted, it's garbage time, Buffalo, they won the game, it's a wrap. Tyrod Taylor, all of a sudden, it was a little like the Panic's Cousins thing. He can move around, he was making plays.

• 30:55Bill Simmons?

  I think they'd be crazy not to start him next week unless they, if they want to protect their pick, which is probably like top seven, top eight at this point, you play Rogers. Cause he's just, he's, he's a sunk cost at this point. But if they play Tyrod Taylor, I could see them beating Miami. I mean Miami was, you know, it does seem like Tua is gonna play next week. They, Cleveland's so bad and Thompson Robinson is so bad. Miami, like they, they had no choice but to win that game, but the Jets could beat them. So then it comes down to Carson Wentz.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that, obviously they, they put all these games together. Chiefs, Broncos, Chargers, Raiders, Dolphins, Jets. Uh, those are the late afternoon games. Yeah, so I think you're right. I have no idea with Tua, you and I were like, what the hell's going on? JJ, John's a scam, big Dolphins fan. Give us a heads up about Tua. We don't find out until Thursday. He may not play again, so you might, you might end up with a garbage match like that. But it was so fun watching Tyrod being better than A-Rod. Really, really great.

• 31:57Bill Simmons?

  Rogers was just, just horrible. I had, I did a 13 pointer, which I think I lost three legs of. It was my one losing bet today, other than this last one at the end. Rogers was so bad. And it was so hopeless from the moment it was like, I don't know, 12, nothing, 19, it was just that you just knew it was over. Doesn't seem like the teammates like him that much.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  No.

• 32:22Bill Simmons?

  Wilson, there's stuff about like, if Rogers is back next year, please trade me. That's stuff starting to float around. And it'd be really funny if Taylor came in and the Jets were awesome next week. Miami is-

• 32:33Speaker 01

  Let me, let me read a couple Rogers things. First of all, he goes in there, he's supposed to go for his 500 touchdown, touchdown pass. I'm like, oh, this is gonna suck. Not that they'd stop the game in Buffalo, but yeah, oh, he's gonna get 500. Devante Adams is like, I'm playing. I want to be there. I want to catch the 500. I'm like, shit. Instead, he sets the sack record. He's the most sacked quarterback of all time. And I, my favorite of all, it was early in the first quarter, maybe middle first quarter, third and one, driving right to left, he rolls right, and he's got nothing but daylight. And Romo even is like, run it. And Romo doesn't do that. He does a lot of what people might think are annoying things, but he wouldn't like, he definitely like blurted it out when he didn't mean to. He had 15 yards of daylight, maybe too scared or whatever to take off.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  He fires the ball at his receiver's shins and then yells at the receiver. Like, the receiver's like, oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Me and the other receivers are watching, thought you'd walk the ball into the end zone here. But a 1.2 QBR today, the lowest QBR in a game since Davis Mills, 0.8 in 2021. Good job by you, Aaron Rodgers.

• 33:37Bill Simmons?

  You ruined Peter Schreger's season.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  I didn't do it.

• 33:41Bill Simmons?

  Our guy Schreigs.

• 33:44Bill Simmons?

  There was a tweet that had over 3 million views at the time of this taping by somebody on Twitter named Steakfriend. He said, Jets getting Aaron Rodgers is like finally banging your high school crush when she's 40 and has four kids.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 33:57Bill Simmons?

  It's over 3 million views at this point. Lost in how bad Rogers has been is how bad Jeff Ulbrich's been as the Jets interim coach.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:06Bill Simmons?

  Today they had 16 penalties for 120 yards. That's like, that makes the Patriots look like well behaved by contract. He's horrible. One thing we've learned this year is that the interim coach isn't necessarily this magic elixir because the Bears are way worse, right? The, the Jets, I think if they had had Salah, they, they at least would Salah, their defense was better.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  We had the clogger. We were enamored, enamored with the clogger for a minute and then uh, that went to shit ironically.

• 34:35Bill Simmons?

  Hard to say with the clogger.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:37Bill Simmons?

  But um, yeah, rough Jets season. I feel bad for the Jets fans. Um, one thing with the Bengals.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  I think they're about 16 to one. If you put those three possibilities together to make the playoffs.

• 34:52Bill Simmons?

  If you're, if you're KC, do you lose intentionally to Denver is the question. Somebody texted me today that I thought was intriguing. I don't, I don't think teams lose intentionally in the NFL. I guess you could play like your third string QB and not give a shit, but they're just much better off if Denver is the seventh seed than Cincinnati, I think.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  Well, uh, let's think about this. Wouldn't they want Cincinnati to play Buffalo? I mean, I think they want Buffalo out, right? They're not gonna play both those teams. So if you

• 35:24Bill Simmons?

  Oh, so you're saying so that, so beat Denver to try to get Cincinnati into the seventh seed?

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so. You don't have to, you're not going against Cincinnati in the first round. So you're going against one of those two teams. I think they'll slap Cincinnati around if they get, if they have to go to Arrowhead. I mean, that's a flawed team. We like rooting for them. I think you could have it both ways. Like we said, like you, we could talk about how bad they are and how they can't get out of their own way and also not want to meet them in the first round. So.

• 35:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, their defense is uh, pretty awful. They, it was interesting because that game feels like it happened a hundred years ago and it was yesterday, but uh, I don't think Sean Payton covered himself in glory yesterday with some of the calls.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 36:04Bill Simmons?

  Some of the clock management, just in general. And that's something I've noticed over and over again with him where people seem to think he's this uh, You know, like he's just like, kind of what we were talking about with Kevin O'Connell earlier, but instead it just feels like, uh, I don't know, dude, were you happy with how he coached yesterday?

• 36:24Speaker 01

  No, I don't know. I was a little confused, right? But I think he, uh, people wanted him to go for the two-point conversion at the end of regulation.

• 36:31Bill Simmons?

  Well, he needed the tie, right?

• 36:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. So they needed the tie as good as a win.

• 36:35Bill Simmons?

  Tie was as good as a win. So it didn't make sense to go for the win because in overtime, a tie would have won it for them too.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Bengals kicker sucks. He was probably factoring that in that, in that too. So we'll go to overtime. And Chase Brown got hurt. And also they went three and out Cincinnati. So they had the ball Denver with a chance to win with a field goal.

• 36:53Bill Simmons?

  They did twice. They had two series in overtime and they were just, they had that second and nine, or it was like second and seven. They ran the wide receiver screen. The guy got tackled for two in the first series. Bo Nix tried to throw it deep for some reason, didn't get it. It was weird. I just felt like they could have run the ball and Cincy all day. They ran the ball for five yards a carry. It was a bad loss.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  I mean, I felt the same with, it was a very similar game to tonight's, right? Like, you know, Bijon Robinson could have run the ball and they could have done that. And I, I thought it was like one of the luckiest covers of 2024, maybe tonight changed that, but I don't know. Cincinnati is a weird team. Like Burrow's great. And like you said, like they have that pitch and catch thing going for seven yards. Like no one's gonna, like, you know, Higgins is going to get Juan Soto money next year. Good for him. But I don't know.

• 37:38Bill Simmons?

  From the Patriots.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 37:41Bill Simmons?

  MVP race, at least when I checked at this couple, a couple of hours ago, Allen was minus 300, Lamar was plus 250.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:49Bill Simmons?

  And Burrow and Barclay were 50 to one. And the thinking was if Burrow somehow got, um, the seven seed for the Bengals, he has to be in the MVP consideration. I just don't agree.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  Burrow's 30 to one now?

• 38:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Oh, he's 30 to one? I don't think you lose eight. You can't lose eight times in a season to be the MVP. That's absurd.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  It's dead money. Yeah, that's, that's a waste. I, I think it's gotta be Josh. I think it's fair to say, all right, whoever gets the, the seed, the two seed, it could be the, I mean, it's can't be Mahomes. His numbers don't support it, right? So it's gotta be the Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson and give it to whoever has a two seed at this point.

• 38:24Bill Simmons?

  It's tough. There's some stat stuff that's a little more favorable for Lamar. I test was a little more favorable for Josh. Um, I would say the, the infrastructure of the roster is you'd probably want Baltimore's a little bit more. Buffalo had a lot more uncertainty heading into the season.

• 38:43Bill Simmons?

  I don't really know.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  Does that just crack your brain when you hear like Josh Allen broke Thurman Thomas's record for like the Bills touchdown rushes?

• 38:50Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  For someone who watched football and loved it and go in college in the 90s like, what the f- really? He really did already? Like, that's spectacular.

• 39:00Bill Simmons?

  I mean, right now, and I don't know if there's a 100% right answer. I like when people get so upset about it. It was like when, like, we've had some NBA MVP, things like this too. Right now, I think it could really come down to something as stupid as Baltimore's five losses and Buffalo's three. Cause it's really close and it's just like Buffalo's had a better, they've had a better team. I've been a little more impressed with their season. I think both guys are equally important. He doesn't have anything like Derrick Henry. He doesn't have the coaching infrastructure that the Ravens had, even though McDermott is a top seven or eight coach, the Ravens have been doing this forever. I would just have slight edge to Josh. So Rudy's had the head, does the head to head matter?

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Well, how about this?

• 39:46Bill Simmons?

  Baltimore beat him 35 to 10 in week four. So that's, that's a case for LeBaron. I don't know. I don't know the answer.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  So Rudy, shut up. We've been doing this for like 37 years. We don't need your help. No, I, here, I, no, it's a good question, but I think here's what matters more. They beat the one seed, right? Baltimore didn't. They were a toe away from beating one seed.

• 40:03Bill Simmons?

  They had the only Casey win.

• 40:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, they have, they have more wins and they beat the one seed. And you're not giving it to Mo's.

• 40:11Bill Simmons?

  Another, another thing off this, off Josh Allen. I won, I won our keeper fantasy league today.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, congratulations.

• 40:18Bill Simmons?

  Thank you.

• 40:19Speaker 01

  Easily, right?

• 40:20Bill Simmons?

  You know, it's an emotional time for me and my fans because um, we had Joe Burrow. We've had this league four years.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 40:29Bill Simmons?

  I had Joe Burrow year one. We had this rule where you could keep him for a maximum of four years. So he's been with my, my team the whole time.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  Oh, he's gone.

• 40:36Bill Simmons?

  And then he really came through in the, in the last game and it meant a lot to me and my fans.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:43Bill Simmons?

  To watch him do that for my fake fantasy team and his fake teammates. 41.1 points. The question though about fantasy, is it possible to win a league if you didn't have Allen, Lamar, Burrow or Baker this year? Kind of feels like you had to have one of those four guys. Who did Tony have?

• 41:00Speaker 01

  Well, he said Barkley, right? Did you mention Barkley?

• 41:03Bill Simmons?

  No, I'm saying one of those four quarterbacks.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah.

• 41:07Bill Simmons?

  Did you have? It's because it was unusual because normally we talk, we always talk about our quarterbacks don't matter that much in fantasy. And then this year, yeah, who did Tony have in our knockout league? Yeah, Lamar Jackson.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:19Bill Simmons?

  I'm just, I would love to know like percentage of leagues won by one, by those four quarterbacks has to be like 80%.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's off topic, but I did see 50% of all leagues that had, teams that had Barkley made the finals at least. I did see some kind of ESPN stat, but, but that's Barkley. I know you're talking quarterbacks here. You're going to bid for, how much will you bid? So I know now.

• 41:42Bill Simmons?

  Burrow, I need Burrow. Well, I'm gonna have to figure.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  I can see it.

• 41:46Bill Simmons?

  Joe, four more years, Joe. I asked Craig Horobek from the, uh, from the Ringer Fantasy Show about like, who were the guys you had to have this year? That seemed to be around the most titles. And he said, the guys that tripled your odds of making the finals were JJ, Jefferson, Chase, Amon Ra St. Brown, Saquon, Gibbs, Lamar, James Connor, and Brock Bowers, who was wasted on my shitty team in our other league. Well, just like whatever you paid for them or wherever you drafted them, whatever the return was, was way higher than what you got. But Brock Bowers was a good example. Like if you had him, like he's going to be the number one tight end next year.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  Speaking of, forget that. I'm looking for him for, um, well, they don't have him, but he should maybe win MVP. I mean, that junk squad of quarterbacks have been thrown to him. He's setting records.

• 42:38Bill Simmons?

  He's made Aiden O'Connell look like a possible keeper.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  It's craziness.

• 42:42Bill Simmons?

  They don't need a QB.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:44Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that's it. That's a good pivot.

• 42:48Bill Simmons?

  The Giants.

• 42:50Bill Simmons?

  So we have the Raiders who win two games in a row and completely knock themselves out of a possible Sanders or Cam Ward. I gotta say, I didn't like Cam Ward leaving the bowl game at halftime.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  No?

• 43:03Bill Simmons?

  No, I didn't like that.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  Nobody's gonna care. Nobody's gonna, no team's gonna care about that.

• 43:05Bill Simmons?

  I didn't like it. I just don't think Drake May would have done that in North Carolina. I think he would have stayed. I think he would have played both halves.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  I think, alright. But no team is gonna care. But go ahead. Yeah.

• 43:15Bill Simmons?

  We had the Drew Lock game today. You could feel it immediately. The Colts were in a coma. I don't know what happened to them. This murdered, I think, 80% of the teases and parlays that people made today because they'd already, like they made all their bets that they'd already won. It's like, what do I do on Sunday? Ah, alright, I'll throw the Colts in something and the Giants in my way. So now the Giants are four, Pats are one, Tennessee's two, Cleveland's three, and most important, the Pats are one. I was going nuts.

• 43:44Speaker 01

  Why are you going nuts?

• 43:46Bill Simmons?

  Why? I was going nuts.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  What are you gonna do with it?

• 43:49Bill Simmons?

  We're gonna trade down. We're gonna get a fucking haul. I wanna make that Carolina Bears trade. Let's do that. Let's get like, move back seven spots, get somebody else's first, get a player, get a second, like, let's, let's fucking cash that thing in. I'm so excited.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Alright. I mean, it's not like, you have your quarterback, or you, well, you're not out on May, right? You, you have your quarterback. So now you're gonna trade it and you're gonna get, you'll get something. I don't know. I, I feel like, I, I say good for the Giants. I really do. Like, I don't, I don't love the tanking talk. I think it's a bad word. It should only be used for the NBA. This is one of the reasons, many reasons, the NFL's infinitely better. But like, you know, half these guys are playing hard because they don't even know if they're gonna be on the team next year. Like, Malik Neighbors is the only one safe, and Drew Lock gave him probably his best game of the year so far. So, good for the Giants. Earn your paycheck. I know it's easy to burn down the fledgling local tavern and collect on the insurance, but guys out there trying. I'd go for that every time.

• 44:52Bill Simmons?

  Counter. This Giants season was so depressing that it was kinda hilarious that it was like, all right, we're top, we're the number one pick, just two more games. And then all of a sudden, they have a fun three hours and completely ruin it. But you're right. This is the difference to football and basketball is you can't really tank when in a sport with like non guaranteed contracts where they change half the roster every year.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Well, I'm not saying like the, the GMs, the front office and the players are on a different wavelength, I think, right? Like it's not like that in any other sport. And I think it's because of what I said, like half these guys aren't going to be Giants next year. So they're just like trying to put together, you know, you think Tracy Jr. Is definitely going to be resigned by the Giants? Like, no, I'm gonna try their asses off.

• 45:37Bill Simmons?

  If the Pats beat the Bills next week, I'm gonna lose my mind. I just want you to know right now. They better, first of all, Gonzalez has a concussion, so don't play him. He's the best defensive player. Like, put him on the side. I would not play Drake May. Sit him down for week 18, play Joe Milton, the third string guy. Like, they have to lose this Buffalo game. And if you're Buffalo, I would, I would want the Pats to beat us. I want that, they're in our division. I wouldn't want the Pats to have the number one pick and trade back and get Mike Vrabel as the coach. This was a huge week for Pats fans though, because there's real momentum now for like, hey, maybe we need an actual coach and a GM. Maybe getting worse.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  He's gone. The coach will be gone.

• 46:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Getting worse in every part of football over the course of four months. Maybe that was a bad sign. Maybe that we fucked up the draft and free agency and did basically everything wrong. Maybe all that was a bad sign. And that we hit the ladder with this Drake May guy.

• 46:31Speaker 01

  I just don't like the losing and going crazy for the one pick. And it just, it's stinking thinking, Simmons, is what it is.

• 46:38Bill Simmons?

  No. I feel dirty, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Speaking of dirty, the Colts, four straight years of absolutely horrible, indefensible, end of the year losses or choke jobs, or like even last year where they had a chance to make the playoffs and they blow it on the fourth down. They had that 2021, they lost to Jacksonville when Jim Ursay's like, yeah, Carson Wentz off the team. I don't ever want to see him again. So it's four straight years of that. I think Shane Steichen's a secret, might get fired after the year guy. I have no inside info. I just think that team's like pretty ratchet the whole year. Like, I don't, I don't think they're well coached. I think they've underachieved.

• 47:19Bill Simmons?

  And uh, and he's, we always have that one surprise firing after week 18. He would be my leading suspect.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  Did he? Did he get an extension? I mean, cause that's the key. That's, that's the tell, tell all that he's gonna get fired.

• 47:31Bill Simmons?

  I don't think so. He's only in a two-year, he's in year two, right? He was a first-year coach last year.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, this is second. I'm thinking of someone else. Yeah, it might be the case that there just aren't enough new, good coaches out there. He might've been on the bubble and saved himself. But yeah, you're right. They're pitiful.

• 47:50Bill Simmons?

  It's absolutely ludicrous that Mike Frabel wouldn't be getting hounded by like five teams.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  Right.

• 47:59Bill Simmons?

  Mike Frabel, I think in 21, he went 12 and 5 with this banged up Tennessee team. Ryan Tannehill, who I don't think ever started a full season again as a quarterback. A.J. Brown, who got traded after the year. Um, I, I just always felt like that team was supremely extraordinarily well-coached. They always overachieved. I never really understood how they were doing it. And I don't understand, like, if you're the Jets, the Bears. People are like, the Bears need an offensive coach. The Bears need a coach. It doesn't have to be an offensive coach. Just somebody that will give them some sort of culture, which is what the Patriots.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  He's number one. I mean, I, I think he gets to pick his spot. So if you're him, where do you, where do you go? Like, where do you, I mean, he could probably coach at UNC now and steal that job from Belichick if he wants.

• 48:44Bill Simmons?

  My dream would be he was in the Patriots Hall of Fame.

• 48:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:47Bill Simmons?

  And you think like, you got Drake May, you have all this cap space and you have, um, the number one pick. Like, that seems like the best job. I don't know. You go to the Bears and your ownership's a complete mess. You're doing everything wrong and you've built this team. That's a, you know, this run and gun team to play in Chicago in 10-degree weather.

• 49:08Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. I wouldn't want that job. I, the Jets job's mildly intriguing. They do have a lot of talent. I just said it's a Woody Johnson thing. I'm not sure I'd want to work for him.

• 49:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the thing. Well, they ask them.

• 49:19Bill Simmons?

  Who would you want?

• 49:19Speaker 01

  Well, if I'm him, I, I think you stay out of the NFC North. That's a disaster when you have 13 win teams making the.

• 49:27Bill Simmons?

  It's a great point. Yeah. Why do you want to be in Detroit, Minnesota, Green Bay and battle those teams six times a year?

• 49:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's too long. So it's not a sexy team and you, you, you can't be happy with Anthony Richardson at this point, but I think you'd stay in any AFC South job that you could get. I mean, the bad divisions are still the bad divisions.

• 49:44Bill Simmons?

  So Jacksonville?

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, somewhere like that.

• 49:50Bill Simmons?

  So Matt, a couple of other short things I had for you. Mac Jones has as many wins this year as Trevor Lawrence. Just pointing that out.

• 50:01Bill Simmons?

  I am 25 and 5.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  You did a great job.

• 50:05Bill Simmons?

  Season future over unders. Thanks to the Atlanta loss today. I need a Houston win and an Arizona win next week and I would go 27 and 5. Which we always, we have all these media accounts where everybody shits on anyone with a podcast or a column or a feature or whatever. And it's like this cottage industry. There's no like benevolent version of it where it's like, hey, this person did a really good job. Hey, cousin Sal is 13 and 2 on wisest wagers. Good luck to him this week. We need like happy version of, of those terrible media accounts.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  I'm with you. So get, get the ringer people to plug it, you know?

• 50:38Bill Simmons?

  25 and 5 over unders. Put that on some fucking tweet somewhere.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Make a freaking billboard outside your house. You got my doing. It's fun. 25 and 5. We did great on the, on the other futures, right?

• 50:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  You, you beat me in that. Yeah.

• 50:51Bill Simmons?

  I had two locks. I had Carolina under, New England under, three and Green Bay over. All those hit.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  So maybe we should tell people what to stay away from because we, we, I mean, we hit the mother lode if the Lions get the one seed. And I, I specifically do because I got 26 to one on Chiefs Lions one seed. And so we.

• 51:07Bill Simmons?

  Amazing.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  Again, after how many years, still don't know how to hedge this. We got five to one odds, right?

• 51:13Bill Simmons?

  When we get, when we get the Lions, let's talk about the hedge for that.

• 51:15Speaker 01

  You got, got.

• 51:18Bill Simmons?

  Dorian Thompson Robinson threw a pick today. No touchdown.

• 51:24Bill Simmons?

  Career, one touchdown, 10 picks. I was like, I wonder who else has done that? I wonder what other players in NBA and NFL history have one touchdown or less than 10 interceptions or more. So you have that stat head on

• 51:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 51:37Bill Simmons?

  Pro Football Reference. So I went up. How many other people do you think have done that? History.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  Three.

• 51:44Bill Simmons?

  History of football, five.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  Five?

• 51:48Bill Simmons?

  Nobody since, uh, nobody in the last 40 years. We had, uh, Stan Heath. One touchdown, 14 interceptions. Len Barnum, 0 for 10. Randy Hedberg in 1977, 0 for 10.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  It's like an accounting firm? Who are these people?

• 52:05Bill Simmons?

  Wayne Clark, zero touchdowns, 14 picks in the early part of the 70s. And then Rusty Lish. One touchdown, 11 picks. So he's done something nobody's done in 40 years.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  Quarterback name. That, I mean, you deserve what you get if you're drafting a Rusty Lish. I mean, that's not, that's not.

• 52:24Bill Simmons?

  Collinsworth would have trouble with that one.

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Oh, Rusty.

• 52:26Bill Simmons?

  Rusty Lish or a pass rusher.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  Pass rusher, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the DTR, did? He didn't, did he seem right to you? I felt like something was off.

• 52:35Bill Simmons?

  No, he seemed hurt.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  And, and I don't think. I'm making a joke. That's what we say about good, the good quarterbacks. Like, we're gonna find out he was injured?

• 52:43Bill Simmons?

  No, I think, I think he actually was hurt.

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Well, he's not so bad, good, but he was hurt. One interception, he had one fumble. He had three intentional, three intentional groundings and a 20 QBR. And plus whatever you're saying, yeah.

• 52:56Bill Simmons?

  They, now that's a team that is tanking. They want to get a top three pick. They have a chance to get, uh, one or two. If one of those teams, if Tennessee or the Pats. So they're like, we're not playing Jameis again. Jameis is too unreliable. He might actually win this game. He might actually beat Miami. We can't play him.

• 53:14Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 53:15Bill Simmons?

  Last thing.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  I don't know what their plan is. I mean, they're gonna, they basically announced this week they're gonna keep Watson for two more years. I mean, that deal just gets worse and worse.

• 53:26Bill Simmons?

  Last thing before guest lines. Greg Gumbel passed away and they were talking about him in all the games the last couple of days. I was really bummed out. I feel like, you know, especially people who grew up with the eighties ESPN and he was one of the five or six people, right? It was, it was him, it was Gail Gardner, it was Chris Berman, or Tom Lee. They, we had, it was the same six people for an entire decade. And then he went on, he kind of graduated, did all this stuff. He became a studio host. He did-

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Original WFAN guy too, in New York.

• 53:57Bill Simmons?

  Right, going way back. And then has a really important, he did the Tuck Roll Game, AKA the Snow Game for Pats fans. He announced that one, but beloved guy by all accounts and feels like he's been in our lives ever since we liked sports. I was bummed.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  And yet, like a dozen years older than I would have thought. Like 78, right? I mean, I know he helped him, he looked young and, but yeah, man, I would get very excited. I'm a big Selection Sunday guy. I write it down even though they have the bracket right on the TV. And when, you know, the Duke Blue Devils are the number one seed in the East Region. It's like something cool and you could rely on. And yeah, he'll be missed. Another great voice.

• 54:38Bill Simmons?

  Passed through a lot of great sports and sports moments. I was thinking about that whole ESPN crew in the eighties. That was like our lifeline to all this highlights and information back then. Right? And you had these people and it was like the same way like the local news anchors mean the most in your dad's house in the seventies. We had these six, seven, eight people that were just the people we found out what happened. And you really felt like you had relationships with all of them, you know? Berman was like the funny one. Tom Lee was the serious one. Bob Lee

• 55:14Bill Simmons?

  was, he was like the professor and then Charlie Steiner showed it. It's just like, I don't know, Gumbel was in those. And when he graduated out of that, I was like, whoa, somebody hired one of the ESPN guys. It felt like, like we all kind of made it. Anyway. All right, quick break. This episode is brought to you by Fire TV. You ever sit down, ready to watch the game only to search and scroll endlessly? If so, you need Fire TV. It shows you are live games from your favorite teams all in one place, right on the home screen. No more searching. Just sit down and turn on Fire TV. Separate subscriptions may be required. Feature and content availability may vary. This episode is brought to you by WeatherTech. Whether it's a pumpkin spice coffee that goes splat in your seat, or a weekend tailgate that leaves your trunk full of gear and who

• 55:57Bill Simmons?

  knows what, you're gonna want WeatherTech in your vehicle. Whether you call it fall, autumn, or spooky season, whether the mess is your fault, the kids, the dogs, or the weather's fault, you're gonna want WeatherTech. For American-made floor liners and a cargo liner that laugh in the face of fall weather, visit weatherTech.com today. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes, yet it's proven time and time again, that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory. Banking, no different. While everyone else tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady, calculated money moves,

• 56:37Bill Simmons?

  and the financial wins just keep coming. PNC Bank, brilliantly boring since 1865, brilliantly boring since 1865 is a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group, Incorporated. PNC Bank, National Association Member, FTIC. All right, guess the lines. Week 18. We're gonna go in order of...

• 57:01Speaker 01

  Do you have the, do you care, uh, what, so you know what the Saturdays are, right?

• 57:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I didn't do it that way, though. I'm just gonna follow this schedule I had. Cause the biggest game, the NFC 1 seed on the line, that's gonna be Sunday night, right?

• 57:17Speaker 01

  That's Sunday night.

• 57:18Bill Simmons?

  How can that not be?

• 57:19Speaker 01

  I mean, it's, they saved it. I mean, honestly, if the Vikings lose that game, I'm not sure what, what NBC does and the league does with that game. I think they maybe have to stop with the, everyone plays a division the last week. I think maybe just go with like the preseason, the playoffs from last year, and try to mix them up and try to get lucky. Because now we see that, like, only one out of eight divisions, or two, in the AFC North's case, barely matter. But most of these are settled by Week 18.

• 57:49Bill Simmons?

  Um, I called Tom, Tom Mees, Tom Lee, by the way.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's alright.

• 57:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's fine.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  It's good.

• 57:56Bill Simmons?

  I didn't mean to.

• 57:56Speaker 01

  Rest in peace.

• 58:00Bill Simmons?

  Lions Vikings.

• 58:03Bill Simmons?

  It's in Detroit.

• 58:06Bill Simmons?

  I'm giving this the tic tac, so.

• 58:10Bill Simmons?

  Lions minus one and a half against Minnesota for the one seed. I think this is a dead even game. You could even talk me into Minnesota being favored in this, but I don't think it'll start that way. So I'm going Lions minus one and a half.

• 58:23Speaker 01

  Alright, I got, I have to now adjust because some of these have moved. I said minus three, it's minus two and a half for the Detroit Lions.

• 58:31Bill Simmons?

  Interesting.

• 58:32Speaker 01

  I get that, and I'm telling you right now, I might get two more and that's it. We almost shouldn't count this week, much like they don't count week 18 in fantasy. I almost think we shouldn't count this for guessing lines. And I'm not just saying that because I'm off by four points every game.

• 58:52Bill Simmons?

  Detroit does not need to beat San Francisco tomorrow.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  Right.

• 58:57Bill Simmons?

  The game somehow doesn't matter, even though week 18 matters the most, which is just weird.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Kornacki was a little, little, um, he threw me a little bit. I feel like he made it like they did need that this game did matter. And then like, no, no, 49 doesn't, doesn't matter at all.

• 59:11Bill Simmons?

  100% does not matter. Dan Campbell is doing the whole, we're playing anyone anyway, but I think that would be crazy to do that.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 59:19Bill Simmons?

  Week six, Detroit won 31 29.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 59:24Bill Simmons?

  Somehow we had three two-point games that the Vikings were involved with against the Lions and, and Green Bay. Just is weird.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  Right, right. That's where the tic tac comes into play, the one and a half. Got to get it the right way.

• 59:41Bill Simmons?

  NFC South.

• 59:44Bill Simmons?

  On the line, not really.

• 59:47Bill Simmons?

  Falcons win. They get the four seed. They're playing the Panthers in Atlanta.

• 59:55Bill Simmons?

  I'm sorry, the uh.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:57Bill Simmons?

  I screwed this up. Tampa wins, they get the four seed.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  Right? Yes, Tampa's up a game. They lose the tiebreaker if they lose a game.

• 1:00:08Bill Simmons?

  So Tampa wins, they get it. Tampa loses, Atlanta wins. Atlanta gets it because they beat Tampa Bay twice.

• 1:00:18Bill Simmons?

  Tampa is home for the Saints who stink.

• 1:00:23Bill Simmons?

  And Tampa's offense is really good. And as we discussed earlier, Baker Mayfield fantasy MVP.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:29Bill Simmons?

  At least one of them. I have the Bucks minus 10 and a half.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm gonna beat you here. I had 11 and a half, it's 13 and a half.

• 1:00:37Bill Simmons?

  Wow, think about that.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  We're gonna have to, we're gonna have to do something here.

• 1:00:43Bill Simmons?

  Can you imagine if I told you in mid-August, week 18, the Bucks are gonna be favored by 13 and a half against the Saints? What would you have thought happened?

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Uh, I would have thought the Saints named Spencer Rattler their starter.

• 1:01:00Bill Simmons?

  And had the Clogger as their coach?

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  God, they're so bad.

• 1:01:05Bill Simmons?

  This would have been so much more fun if Atlanta won today because we would have had all kinds of scenarios. Washington had to win, there was all different tiebreaker shit. We won our NFC South bet, by the way, so kudos to us.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  Oh, good with the under.

• 1:01:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, cuz they, they can only have two more.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  Two more, yeah.

• 1:01:21Bill Simmons?

  The highest they, it could get to 28, so we made it by two.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  It wasn't even scary, when was it at scariest? I'm trying to think, I guess when New Orleans beat up on Dallas and Carolina.

• 1:01:30Bill Simmons?

  A week ago it was, yeah.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  A week ago?

• 1:01:33Bill Simmons?

  Carolina started upsetting people and it was like, holy shit. Like if Carolina won today and Atlanta, I guess Carolina was playing a NFC South.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're still, yeah.

• 1:01:43Bill Simmons?

  But if Atlanta had won. Yeah, it got a little closer than I wanted. Falcons against the Panthers, I have Falcons. This is in Atlanta. I have Falcons by seven and a half against Panthers.

• 1:01:57Speaker 01

  You got it exactly, I had eight.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  But it's not gonna matter.

• 1:02:02Bill Simmons?

  Teaser?

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  Well, I just worry that Baker does like he did today and has like 40 points up there and Atlanta calls off the dogs. You know what I mean?

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  They're playing the same time, obviously, right?

• 1:02:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. I'm gonna put the Washington game in this category too. Ah, no, I can't do that now because they lost. I need to put them in a different category. Doing this on the fly here. Okay. Put them later.

• 1:02:32Speaker 01

  The problem with this is, and I'm gonna show my hand here, is a lot of these lines don't reflect when Thursday, the coach says, we're sitting everybody and then the lines fly another five points. So just be careful, everyone.

• 1:02:44Bill Simmons?

  NFC West on the line, sort of.

• 1:02:49Bill Simmons?

  The Rams are minus two and a half against the Seahawks. Oh, no, that was my guess. I screwed that up. The game is in LA and I have the Rams minus two and a half over the Seahawks. I should have let you guess first.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  Uh, I had Seattle by one and then Seattle by two and a half. The Rams are in, right?

• 1:03:11Bill Simmons?

  They're not necessarily 100% in yet.

• 1:03:13Speaker 01

  No, they needed like one more team to win, like 12 things had to happen.

• 1:03:17Bill Simmons?

  No, I'm gonna go through it.

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  Oh, it's crazy what needs to happen for Seattle to win for this game to matter.

• 1:03:23Bill Simmons?

  They need... Oh, no, they're out. You're right, because they needed Atlanta to beat Washington.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, Washington, I think that was the last one.

• 1:03:31Bill Simmons?

  Oh, man.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  I'm keeping that. I don't care. I'm taking that win.

• 1:03:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, take it.

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  Go. What else we got?

• 1:03:38Bill Simmons?

  I did all the work for Washington winning and then when Atlanta came back, I changed all the work and then...

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  I know. Raheem screwed everything up.

• 1:03:46Bill Simmons?

  I was so excited to go through all the things that needed to happen in Week 18 for Seattle.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  It's like two things.

• 1:03:50Bill Simmons?

  Because it was actually pretty conceivable. They needed Arizona to beat San Francisco, Denver to beat KC.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:56Bill Simmons?

  Atlanta to beat Carolina. All three of those things could have happened. Miami to beat the Jets, still conceivable. Chicago to beat Green Bay, not playing for anything, not inconceivable. Chargers, Vegas. Tampa beats New Orleans.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  Saints or something, yeah.

• 1:04:10Bill Simmons?

  No, the weird one was the Pats would have had to beat Buffalo. That's where the wheels kind of got locked.

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  That's gonna happen. Get ready.

• 1:04:19Bill Simmons?

  All right, playoff spot on the line. Three teams, one spot. Broncos against the Chiefs.

• 1:04:31Bill Simmons?

  It's in Denver.

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:04:34Bill Simmons?

  I did Broncos minus seven and a half.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  You know, I said four and a half and it was seven and a half. It went to eight and a half. So you get it.

• 1:04:43Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  Man, that's high. I mean, I mean, I guess if Carson Wentz just plays with all second string, like the whole first string sits, then it's going to be tough, but that's a lot of points for Denver.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  It's a lot.

• 1:05:01Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. I like, I like, I kind of like the Chiefs in that game.

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:07Bill Simmons?

  I like the Chiefs and I don't know if I'm buying the Chiefs money line either. I could see them being like, fuck it. We're not playing for two weeks after this. We'll play Carson Wentz. Let's run all our stuff.

• 1:05:19Bill Simmons?

  I don't know.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  I hear what I know.

• 1:05:21Bill Simmons?

  Cause Denver is not that good.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  How many favorites have Fandel and Vegas gotten walloped on in the last year? I don't know, four months.

• 1:05:30Bill Simmons?

  Colts today.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  There's a team, there's a team that's going to blow it for everybody. There's a team. Could be them.

• 1:05:39Bill Simmons?

  Dolphins are home for the Jets. I'm sorry. Jets are home for the Dolphins, but Dolphins need a win. And they needed Denver loss and two of them might not play.

• 1:05:52Bill Simmons?

  Stu Punlethwaite was like passable today and people were excited about it.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:58Bill Simmons?

  I don't see how this can be less than Dolphins by four and a half.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  All right. I got it exactly. It's two and a half.

• 1:06:05Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  But I was getting a headache thinking of these. I really were.

• 1:06:08Bill Simmons?

  It's who in the name would bet the Jets?

• 1:06:13Bill Simmons?

  Well, now if they had Tyrod Taylor, I might bet them.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  They have a chance. That's it.

• 1:06:16Bill Simmons?

  Fight, spite game.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  Snoop against Taylor. I love it.

• 1:06:21Bill Simmons?

  By the teammates.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Bill Simmons?

  Steelers Bengals in Pittsburgh.

• 1:06:31Bill Simmons?

  Cincy needs a win plus Denver Miami losses. Pittsburgh gets the three seed with a win and a Baltimore loss. Pittsburgh could drop to six if they lose and the Chargers win.

• 1:06:44Bill Simmons?

  I did Steelers minus one and a half.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  Wow. I did Cincy minus three and it's Cincy minus two and a half.

• 1:06:54Bill Simmons?

  What?

• 1:06:57Bill Simmons?

  That's honestly, that's stupid. I'm gonna bet the Steelers.

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  No, don't bet the Steelers.

• 1:07:02Bill Simmons?

  100% betting the Steelers.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  They're no good.

• 1:07:05Bill Simmons?

  Bengals aren't good. The Bengals are 8-8.

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  Listen, you cursed the Steelers 3 weeks ago when you

• 1:07:12Bill Simmons?

  I think cursed anyone.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  You named them the best team. You cursed the Steelers and you cursed Drake May. I cursed everybody else in the league, but you cursed the Steelers and Drake May.

• 1:07:19Bill Simmons?

  I said 3 weeks, I said, what, 4 weeks ago, I said, I thought the Steelers were playing the best of anyone in the AFC. Pickens immediately got hurt. That bunch of their guys on defense got hurt and Russell Wilson turned into Denver Russell Wilson.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:33Bill Simmons?

  Like, my words were hanging in the air and all of a sudden, you go the other way though and you could say they just played 3 really tough teams in 11 days and maybe they're still pretty good.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  Pickens played last week on Christmas. It didn't matter. Russell Wilson, the defense is just average right now for whatever reason and

• 1:07:55Bill Simmons?

  Defense hasn't been good for like a month.

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  Hustle and bustle isn't playing out of his mind, might as well be anyone, these Steelers team.

• 1:08:04Bill Simmons?

  Steelers are home dogs and they need the game and playing a team that doesn't have a good defense and has a pretty shaky coach, let's be honest. I know he made a Super Bowl.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  I don't think they start anyone, honestly. I don't think they care. I don't think, I think

• 1:08:18Bill Simmons?

  You think they don't care if they're 2 or 3?

• 1:08:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think he's like, give us, give us the Ravens again. It's fine because they play at the same time. The Ravens are gonna be up 30 to nothing on the Browns. And that'll be, oh no, they play the same day, but later in that day.

• 1:08:32Bill Simmons?

  Would you rather play the Ravens or the Bills than the Steelers?

• 1:08:38Speaker 01

  I think the Ravens. Isn't that always like an 18-16 game for the most part?

• 1:08:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and they've beaten them a few times. They beat them earlier this year.

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  They'll figure it out. Still lose, but.

• 1:08:50Bill Simmons?

  AFC seeding kinda sort of on the line. Chargers at the Raiders. Raiders are red hot.

• 1:08:58Bill Simmons?

  Chargers could get the 5 seed with a win or a Pittsburgh loss.

• 1:09:01Speaker 01

  Stupid team.

• 1:09:02Bill Simmons?

  I have the Chargers favored by 8.

• 1:09:06Speaker 01

  I gotta find this now. Uh, I had 7. Let's see where it is.

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  I gotta find it because they're all moving around.

• 1:09:15Bill Simmons?

  Five and a half.

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  So I get it.

• 1:09:17Bill Simmons?

  Wow. Vegas owned us. Are you gonna beat me this week? Feels like you're gonna beat me.

• 1:09:22Speaker 01

  This is crazy. I mean, I have some bad ones coming up.

• 1:09:24Bill Simmons?

  I always suck in week 18. My fans were prepared for it. I, I, I take it easy like the Chiefs.

• 1:09:30Speaker 01

  You could do this, Jacoby. Hang in there.

• 1:09:33Bill Simmons?

  Ravens are home against the Browns. They get the three seed with a win.

• 1:09:39Bill Simmons?

  Cleveland clinches a top three pick with a loss. You can kind of guess where this game's going. I'm going Ravens by 13 and a half.

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  Okay. I said 15. 17 and a half.

• 1:09:51Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  It's the biggest of the year, right?

• 1:09:53Bill Simmons?

  Jesus. I mean, I can't even put that in of 13 point tease. What am I gonna do with that line?

• 1:10:00Speaker 01

  You can. It's fine. The Brown, like you said, the Browns aren't gonna put up a, a fight.

• 1:10:06Bill Simmons?

  NFC six seed on the line, technically. Washington is, has the edge right now. They're at Dallas and the Packers are home for the Bears.

• 1:10:17Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:10:21Bill Simmons?

  Washington, I have

• 1:10:25Bill Simmons?

  minus

• 1:10:27Bill Simmons?

  three and a half over your Cowboys.

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  So I bet you got it exactly. I thought it would be five. It's three and a half.

• 1:10:35Bill Simmons?

  I had a small bet on the Cowboys with the over in that game tease. Cooper Rush was awful. I mean, your team was awful, but Cooper Rush like, why didn't they, why don't they, they just don't want to see what Trey Lance? What's there? They, they just giving up on him?

• 1:10:52Speaker 01

  I think it's an absolute mystery. I think maybe they want to trade him and they don't want to show how bad he is kind of thing, you know?

• 1:10:58Bill Simmons?

  Oh, interesting. Like they're hiding him?

• 1:11:00Speaker 01

  They don't have enough makeup, but, uh, did you see what the fans did to Jerry Jones today? I'll, I'll send you that clip. Like, I don't know why he ever goes to Philly, but the fans within earshot, they're like, keep doing what you're doing, Jerry. You're doing great. You're doing great for the organization. And he's like, yeah, man.

• 1:11:17Bill Simmons?

  They're like sarcastic praising him?

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. And he's, I don't know if he gets it or not, but he's like, I try not to disappoint. And he's like, oh my God, just get out. Why are you ever going there?

• 1:11:27Bill Simmons?

  These old owners. I mean, how old is Jerry? Like, he's in his 80s now, right?

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  He's there, I think, yep.

• 1:11:34Bill Simmons?

  Like, we have Bob Kraft, he's 83. That's what, that's part of what, like, with the Pats, like, I just feel like, these guys are old. How many years left do they have? Like, why do they want to mess around? Like, we have the wrong coach and the wrong GM. Just like, fix it.

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  Want to leave their house?

• 1:11:50Bill Simmons?

  Eighty-four next year.

• 1:11:51Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:11:53Bill Simmons?

  Other one for the six seed, Packers, Bears. The Bears coming off, I think, probably the worst televised national TV game of the year, the Seahawks Bears game, just did a complete atrocity.

• 1:12:06Bill Simmons?

  Packers can lock down the six seed. I'm gonna say Packers by 11 and a half.

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, you get it. I was way, see, this is one of the ones I was way off on. I said seven and a half, it's 10.

• 1:12:19Speaker 01

  But again, this is another one. Like, Jordan Love can rest, or he could play this game and stay at the six.

• 1:12:30Bill Simmons?

  What's the score?

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  I don't know. One, two, three, four, two, three. Six to four, me.

• 1:12:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you might still get this.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  I think you are gonna get it.

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  Bunch of garbage coming.

• 1:12:46Bill Simmons?

  We only have five games left.

• 1:12:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:48Bill Simmons?

  Alright, so we tied. Um, alright, next category is top three draft pick on the line.

• 1:12:55Bill Simmons?

  The Bills are at the Patriots. The Pats clinched the first pick with a loss. Buffalo has clinched everything already. And yet, I think Buffalo is still gonna be favored by five and a half, even with Mitch Trubisky.

• 1:13:12Speaker 01

  I went higher than that. It's amazing that you're gonna win this and be off by so much. I went Bills by six. It's Bills by one and a half.

• 1:13:22Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 1:13:22Speaker 01

  So you get it.

• 1:13:24Bill Simmons?

  Mitch Trubisky.

• 1:13:26Speaker 01

  This is gotta make you nervous. One and a half in a game that you think for sure you're laying down in?

• 1:13:34Bill Simmons?

  I'm the, I don't know for sure. I don't, we don't have a smart franchise. I don't know what to expect.

• 1:13:40Speaker 01

  Well, one and a half. Well, I mean, you and I thought five and six.

• 1:13:44Bill Simmons?

  We ran a play. I mean, the Chargers game was one of the lowest moments in recent Pats history and brought me back to, you know, the mid seventies when, uh, before, before things turned around, brought me back to like the late eighties. It was, there was a play though. First of all, it looked like Drake May got concussed like five minutes in the game and then he came back. Then Goodzal was got concussed, but there was a play. When Drake May, he turned and it was like Douglas was coming around in reverse and it seemed like he was pitching to the running back, but he was pitching into the wide receiver instead, but the wide receiver wasn't there yet.

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh, you think he was? He was pitching? Cause I was wondering for not like, I'm not being.

• 1:14:24Bill Simmons?

  I thought it was a play to the wide receiver.

• 1:14:26Speaker 01

  Interesting. All right. I feel like it was just like whoever's there, just take it.

• 1:14:29Bill Simmons?

  I think Douglas started, started going a motion too late and it was supposed to be turned, flipped to wide receiver. But he was three feet back. And, uh, that was awful. I mean, it was an awful game. The crowd was booing. It was really depressing.

• 1:14:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. I mean, I don't know. You, you love, I mean, he, he's, he has three wins. Like you could be excited about him, but he's, he's been just bad enough that you're in the spot to get the number one pick. So.

• 1:14:59Bill Simmons?

  I love Drake May. The, the only thing that makes me worried is when he starts doing things like tiptoeing down the sidelines, spinning into like a guy going 30 miles an hour. It's like, please don't get hit anymore, Drake May. Eagles, Giants in Philly. Giants clinch a top four pick with a loss, maybe even a little bit better.

• 1:15:18Bill Simmons?

  Philly, nothing to play for. I'm going to say Eagles by nine.

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  Oh, all right. I get this. I said five and a half. It's three and a half.

• 1:15:28Bill Simmons?

  See, I'm always bad in week 18.

• 1:15:30Speaker 01

  Look out for the Giants.

• 1:15:33Bill Simmons?

  Eight, two, five. And how many left? One, two?

• 1:15:36Speaker 01

  Three games left. Okay, good. You gotta sweep them. You could do this. You could pull it off.

• 1:15:42Bill Simmons?

  Texans are at Tennessee. Tennessee clinches the second pick in the draft with a loss.

• 1:15:49Speaker 01

  Did they not cover again? I honestly don't know. Did Jaguars win that game?

• 1:15:54Bill Simmons?

  They won by seven.

• 1:15:55Speaker 01

  And they covered. So they're like two and 14 now?

• 1:15:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, two and 14 against the spread.

• 1:15:59Speaker 01

  Beautiful. Great job.

• 1:16:01Bill Simmons?

  I have Texans by three and a half at Tennessee.

• 1:16:04Speaker 01

  All right, I had Texans by one and a half and it is, let me see, because these things change.

• 1:16:12Bill Simmons?

  No, I love how you have to check because I'm.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  I do have to check. Is the, all these have changed. Tennessee by four and a half.

• 1:16:18Bill Simmons?

  Tennessee by four and a half.

• 1:16:19Speaker 01

  Tennessee by four and a half. So I get that.

• 1:16:22Bill Simmons?

  Tennessee over Houston by four and a half.

• 1:16:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. See, this is, this is why this week shouldn't count. We are going to count it. Damn right, we're going to count it, but it shouldn't count.

• 1:16:33Bill Simmons?

  What in the hell? Why would Tennessee want to win this game?

• 1:16:38Bill Simmons?

  Right? They, they don't have a quarterback. Their, their quarterbacks are Will Levis and Mason Rudolph. There's two quarterbacks in the draft. Why would they want to win the game?

• 1:16:46Speaker 01

  They're not going to sit everyone, right? The Texans are going to sit everyone. They're going to be calling guys off the street.

• 1:16:52Bill Simmons?

  Titans do that.

• 1:16:53Speaker 01

  Houston barbecues and stuff.

• 1:16:56Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:16:57Bill Simmons?

  Two more games. These are in the category absolutely irrelevant. Colts home for the Jaguars. I did Colts minus seven and a half.

• 1:17:06Speaker 01

  Uh, you're going to get it. It's five and a half.

• 1:17:10Bill Simmons?

  What did you guess?

• 1:17:11Speaker 01

  I said two. And this is.

• 1:17:14Bill Simmons?

  And then Cardinals at home for the, uh, 49ers. I need this one for, for my over unders. I need Houston to win with their underdogs and I need the Cardinals to win and I could go 27 and five with my NFL over unders, which.

• 1:17:29Speaker 01

  Pretty good.

• 1:17:30Bill Simmons?

  Delight me to no end. Cardinals, I'm going to guess minus three and a half.

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  Uh, I said Cardinals by two and the Niners are favored by one and a half. So I get that.

• 1:17:40Bill Simmons?

  What?

• 1:17:40Speaker 01

  What a win for me. Wow. What a great week.

• 1:17:43Bill Simmons?

  You win this, every year you win week 18. I swear you won for like 11 straight years.

• 1:17:48Speaker 01

  So now going into the playoffs, uh, it's nine, eight, one. Yeah, nine to eight to one, uh, one tie. Yeah.

• 1:17:56Bill Simmons?

  It's the closest you've been in a while.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  Very exciting. Well, you know what I do in the playoffs? I just completely crap the bet. So.

• 1:18:02Bill Simmons?

  So who do you, have you thought about that Minnesota trade game yet?

• 1:18:06Speaker 01

  Well, we have, we have too much, we're too interested in actually trying to figure out who wins. We have to hedge. We have to hedge.

• 1:18:13Bill Simmons?

  We have to hedge. We have.

• 1:18:15Speaker 01

  We have five to one and we may not have the better.

• 1:18:17Bill Simmons?

  On Detroit.

• 1:18:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. And plus we have a little. We, I mean, Detroit can win by two. You talked about all the games the Vikings were in that won by two. We could take the points there. We should probably do it now.

• 1:18:31Bill Simmons?

  Really proud of us.

• 1:18:32Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 1:18:33Bill Simmons?

  It's a great bet.

• 1:18:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:35Bill Simmons?

  We did, we did it. I did more when I was in Boston on FanDuel. Just making weird FanDuel bets. That was one of them. Had some losers though. On the old fan, I had some flyers on Houston to be the one seed. I had a Green Bay to be the one seed flyer. The teams, so the five over unders I got wrong. The two that I got wrong, the worst, other than the Jets, was Minnesota was one of them. I had the under six and a half for them. And then we both had Jacksonville over. I think that was like, what, seven and a half, eight, something like that?

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  They went to division.

• 1:19:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And they were awful. And the Jets, those were the three that I was the most off on. Tampa I didn't hit.

• 1:19:20Speaker 01

  Right. Yeah. You just feel like some of these teams are going to hit a wall. I'm stupid. I passed, like I had the Browns over and the Raiders over. All these dumb, dumb ass teams that don't even try.

• 1:19:30Bill Simmons?

  What did you think of this whole gauntlet we just went through with football? Because I, I actually got conditioned to it by today, just with all the games we had. Two Wednesday, one Thursday, three Saturday.

• 1:19:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:45Bill Simmons?

  And then a bunch today. And it was nice because there was only two late games today. I kind of liked it. I did a little power walk.

• 1:19:51Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:19:52Bill Simmons?

  Had the game on my phone. I just had the, I just had Brady and Burkhart just walking around LA watching on my phone.

• 1:19:59Speaker 01

  Well, you could do that with the two in the late afternoon.

• 1:20:01Bill Simmons?

  Well, because I didn't, Miami, Cleveland. I was like, I don't care. I'm out.

• 1:20:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, who cares? But we had six games before Sunday. I think it's a little too many. I don't think you need a Thursday night game if there are two Christmas games on Wednesday, right?

• 1:20:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:12Speaker 01

  And maybe you don't need three on Saturday because honestly, it ended up being okay. But we had Rattler, O'Connell, Rudolph, Mack, Rush, Pickett. Flacco lock. Those are four of the six games like Aaron Rodgers was going into the morning games, you know, early afternoon. He was like the third best quarterback going into them. It was like Baker and, and obviously Josh Allen and then like Aaron Rodgers was third. So I don't know.

• 1:20:38Bill Simmons?

  Well, it led to a funny ringer Sunday pregame show where the half the games are games. Nobody would have wanted to bet on a million years. You just kind of had to come up with stuff. All right. Want to do parent corner?

• 1:20:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's do it. Uh, how's this go again? We say terrible things about our kids? Now, you know what? I'm going to say, I'm going to say a good thing. It's like the last one of the year, right? And we're usually trashing on them, but I'm proud of my kids for all different reasons. Everyone's home, right? You have, uh, Zoe's home from school. Archie's home from school. They each did something that made me proud this week. Um, Archie, for instance, the oldest, uh, took his younger brothers out for a family portrait and they all wore like ties and button down shirts and they went to Sears or wherever the hell you go now and they paid for it and they got, he got like wallet sizes for his grandparents and all different options. It was like a real.

• 1:21:30Bill Simmons?

  The three kids.

• 1:21:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then like all different fun poses, like a real Brady Bunch moment. I mean, he made his mother cry, like, which is a big plus. Different from the way I make her cry, you know?

• 1:21:41Bill Simmons?

  Making, making Melissa cry is not an achievement.

• 1:21:44Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 1:21:45Bill Simmons?

  It's good that he made her cry happily.

• 1:21:47Speaker 01

  Exactly. It was a different kind of, uh, tears. Um, middle guy, Jack made an audio clip of our friend Brad screaming, um, and he plays it on a loop and has driven everyone nuts. So I'm proud of him for that. Like he replaced, it replaced Mariah Carey's song on the Spotify top 100. So good job by you, Jack. And perhaps the winner.

• 1:22:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:08Speaker 01

  My little one Harrison. We went to Florida for a couple of days. We had to visit Melissa's father. Um, when you go, you go through TSA and the grownups have TSA check and you, the grownups show their ID and then the little guys. What they do is in a very stern way, they ask, what is your full name? And you have to say it, like they'll point to the kid, you know, and he's put on the spot. And I swear Harrison, without meeting a beating, a missing a beat, how's it go? Without missing a beat, the guy says, what is your full name? And he says, in a very, as deep a voice as an 11 year old could do, he says, Creed Humphrey, Alabama. And I was like, you're my fucking guy. I love it. That's the best. Now it sidelined us for a couple of minutes.

• 1:22:53Speaker 01

  Melissa was not happy at all. And the guy is not a football fan, as you can imagine. He's like, I need your real name right now. He's like, it's Harrison, it's Harrison, it's Harrison Icado. That's my name. So we got through it, but uh, I was like, that's.

• 1:23:05Bill Simmons?

  I wonder what you came up with Creed Humphrey?

• 1:23:07Speaker 01

  I don't know. It might be something he and his friends say, because you know, it's like the Monday night football thing, but uh, good job by the three of them.

• 1:23:14Bill Simmons?

  Wow. So how many, how many times for tears for Melissa in 2024? Do we have a final count?

• 1:23:22Bill Simmons?

  Is it on wife reference.com?

• 1:23:23Speaker 01

  Lot, man. It's, it's, it's the age, I don't know. You going through it too?

• 1:23:30Bill Simmons?

  No, it's more tantrums.

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  Oh, tantrums. Oh, I wouldn't mind a tantrum every now and then.

• 1:23:35Bill Simmons?

  Well, it's, it's, you know, the, the Zoe and my wife just being in the same house. It's great.

• 1:23:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, right. Wow.

• 1:23:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:43Speaker 01

  I mean, there's a lot of tears since this Brad recording has gone viral in the house, but other than that.

• 1:23:49Bill Simmons?

  Can you put the Brad recording like on Instagram or something?

• 1:23:53Speaker 01

  I think I will. I think I will. It's pretty good. It's gonna be a little out of context if people don't know him, but it's good.

• 1:23:59Bill Simmons?

  My parent corner. So I had, I had Zoe on the last 40 minutes of my podcast on Thursday and she did her teen culture awards for the last time because she turns 20. Both of our kids turn 20 next year and they're not teenagers anymore. Have you really thought about that?

• 1:24:14Speaker 01

  No, I haven't. Shit, is that true? Come on, you're still a teen at 20, no?

• 1:24:18Bill Simmons?

  No, you're 100% not a teen. I don't know what you are.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  It's not 20?

• 1:24:22Bill Simmons?

  No, 20 is, 20 is that limbo year before you turn 21, where you're just kinda like, ah, I'm not a teenager anymore, but I can't legally drink either. What am I?

• 1:24:30Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:24:32Bill Simmons?

  So anyway, we went to the Clipper game on Friday. We saw the Clippers against the Warriors.

• 1:24:39Bill Simmons?

  You know, she wanted to see Steph Curry. He's great. And then Friday morning, Steph Curry's not playing tonight. The NBA, just it's like, I wonder what's wrong with the league. Well, it's because shit like this, because Steph Curry's in town and then he's not playing. And, you know, we don't need to litigate that for the hundredth time. But it was just kind of funny. And she, it's funny with your kids to go through the stages of the stuff that we've all like, kind of litigated as sports fans for years and years where she's like, I don't understand. I thought we were seeing Steph Curry. Why isn't he playing? Like, how hurt is he? And it was like, wow, they're playing Phoenix tomorrow night. They played on Christmas. Yeah, but still, I don't, but he should play.

• 1:25:15Speaker 01

  I love it. You deserve this.

• 1:25:17Bill Simmons?

  All these people are coming to the arena to see Steph Curry and he's not going to be there. What if he got it for Christmas? I'm like, yeah, it's had a conversation for 10 years. This is one of the many reasons why the schedule should be 60 games. So Steph Curry would actually play in all the arenas.

• 1:25:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:25:31Bill Simmons?

  Anyway.

• 1:25:32Speaker 01

  He wouldn't, but you're right. Yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah.

• 1:25:34Bill Simmons?

  So I really love the Clippers arena. They did a great job.

• 1:25:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:38Bill Simmons?

  And my daughter had a great time. And the places, they really did it. They figured out how to create this arena where the, they have good fans. It's loud.

• 1:25:47Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:25:48Bill Simmons?

  You feel like you're on top of the court. The fans feel like they're affecting the game. There's like real energy.

• 1:25:52Speaker 01

  Going on in between everything. Yeah, it's fun.

• 1:25:55Bill Simmons?

  It's just cool. And when you go to get like a drink or food or anything, there's no TVs anywhere.

• 1:26:00Speaker 01

  Swipe.

• 1:26:00Bill Simmons?

  He wants people in, in the stadium.

• 1:26:03Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:26:03Bill Simmons?

  So anyway, third quarter, timeout, uh, and Zoe runs off to get a candy and the guy behind me taps my shoulder. He's like, hey, um, anyone ever tell you, you look like Bill Simmons? And he starts laughing. He's like, hey, how are you? He's like, I'm a fan of the pod. He's like, I didn't want to say.

• 1:26:20Speaker 01

  Steph Curry?

• 1:26:20Bill Simmons?

  No, it could have been.

• 1:26:22Speaker 01

  Oh, that would have been exciting.

• 1:26:23Bill Simmons?

  So he goes, I didn't want to say anything until your, your wife went, but when your wife went to the bathroom. And I was like, that's not my wife. That's my daughter. She's 18. And I was just completely.

• 1:26:36Bill Simmons?

  For the rest of the game. First time somebody has thought my daughter was my wife. So I really wanted to, uh, kill myself.

• 1:26:43Speaker 01

  That's, all right, let's think about this.

• 1:26:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:46Speaker 01

  That's a, that's a huge compliment for you, right?

• 1:26:50Speaker 01

  I think.

• 1:26:51Bill Simmons?

  There is no compliment to be taken from any aspect of this. It was, it was a dark moment.

• 1:26:57Speaker 01

  Well, if she had said, if he had said granddaughter, that would have sucked.

• 1:27:01Bill Simmons?

  Right? Granddaughter would have been tough.

• 1:27:03Speaker 01

  Okay, so the granddaughter would have been really hard.

• 1:27:06Bill Simmons?

  Wife is not as bad, not as bad.

• 1:27:08Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:27:08Bill Simmons?

  Well, I was trying to think like this. Of course. I was thinking girlfriend would have been even more logical. Wife is like, what is this like? It was like a child bride, like when she turned 18.

• 1:27:19Speaker 01

  You're not going to commit to this not soon to be not teen right now.

• 1:27:24Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 1:27:25Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 1:27:26Bill Simmons?

  I could see Z looking like she's like 22, 23 to somebody, but not, but just like, I'm old. I don't know. It threw me off.

• 1:27:34Speaker 01

  But you're in LA also. You're, it's not inconceivable, right?

• 1:27:38Bill Simmons?

  It's an indictment of LA, right?

• 1:27:40Speaker 01

  If you had a Thunder game in Oklahoma City, like they would have gotten it right, I think, you know?

• 1:27:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:46Speaker 01

  Good for you. Congratulations.

• 1:27:48Bill Simmons?

  Was she, did she laugh? Did she laugh about it? She was horrified. Just flat out, flat out horrified. Anyway. Thanks to that guy.

• 1:27:59Speaker 01

  What did he say? Did he apologize or did you just?

• 1:28:01Bill Simmons?

  No, he's like, oh, my bad, my bad. He did one of those. Nice guy. But yeah, anyway, that's it for Pericor.

• 1:28:09Bill Simmons?

  What, uh, what else do we have to hit? What do you want to plug?

• 1:28:12Speaker 01

  What do we got against all odds? It will be the fellows and I will be doing the college football picks Monday night for the Tuesday and Wednesday games. It's fun. Four big playoff games and the ring of.

• 1:28:23Bill Simmons?

  What's your favorite playoff game?

• 1:28:25Speaker 01

  Uh, you know what? I'm taking Boise to upset Penn State. I think that's it. I think that.

• 1:28:31Bill Simmons?

  You like the running back?

• 1:28:32Speaker 01

  I like Jontay. I think there's going to be a F you moment for the committee who has been told they've screwed this up and god damn it, of course they have screwed it up. But I think they're going to be like, aha, told you this is going to be a good matchup. And so at least take the points.

• 1:28:48Bill Simmons?

  I'm excited for it. Casual casual casual college football fan Bill likes the playoffs. I like that there's more teams, even though the first round of games suck.

• 1:28:57Speaker 01

  And Archie's going to the Rose Bowl because Oregon's playing Ohio State there. So it's a nice inconvenience.

• 1:29:02Bill Simmons?

  So he's gone.

• 1:29:04Speaker 01

  Oh, no, it's Rose Bowl. It's here.

• 1:29:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Rose Bowl. Yeah.

• 1:29:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, couldn't have worked out better.

• 1:29:08Bill Simmons?

  How so? How long did he stay for the break?

• 1:29:11Speaker 01

  I hope he's here until the day after he leaves the second. I don't know. When Zoe, when does your wife Zoe go back?

• 1:29:18Bill Simmons?

  My wife Zoe is going to Miami to see the boyfriend.

• 1:29:23Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:29:24Bill Simmons?

  On on the like 5th of January, 6th of January, somewhere in there. Cause he's he's her. She this is another thing. Her boyfriend's turning 21.

• 1:29:34Speaker 01

  Oh, really? Okay. Interesting.

• 1:29:37Bill Simmons?

  Just we're getting old, Sal. I don't know. I don't know how to stop it.

• 1:29:40Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:29:41Bill Simmons?

  You know, Sarudy's one of the producers like he's, you know, got this tiny kid her whole life in front of her. She's like barely. And meanwhile, we went through all these stages.

• 1:29:51Speaker 01

  Oh, it sucks.

• 1:29:52Bill Simmons?

  Just sad how fast it goes.

• 1:29:54Speaker 01

  I almost missed my flight. I sprint. I don't think I've ever run this fast. I'd made it one of those things where they're about to close the door. I did sprint to the and I think I think I sprained like both my hamstrings. I just sat in my seat and cried for the five hour flight.

• 1:30:09Bill Simmons?

  He blew out your Achilles.

• 1:30:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, how do you get this back? It's over.

• 1:30:14Bill Simmons?

  So you didn't have any wrestling tournaments or anything over the break?

• 1:30:17Speaker 01

  No, not yet. No, we're good. We're good till next week.

• 1:30:20Bill Simmons?

  All right. That's it for the pod. Thanks to Sarudy and Kyle and Gahal cuz good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. Thanks, everybody. Be back on Tuesday.

• 1:30:56Bill Simmons?

  Must be 21 plus and present in select states. For Kansas, an affiliation with Kansas Star Casino. Or 18 plus and present in DC. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-887-897777. Or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut. Or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplineMA.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts. Or call 1-8778-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York. This episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures, WildHorse9. John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell. I like those guys. Star in the sharp-witted comedy thriller

• 1:31:39Bill Simmons?

  from Academy Award winner Martin McDonagh. Writer-director of The Banshees of Inisherin and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Set in the 1970s. Filmed on location on Easter Island. Malkovich and Rockwell play CIA agents Chris and Lee, who are caught in a dangerous game of secrets and survival. Also starring Steve Buscemi, another one of my guys. Parker Posey and Tom Waits. WildHorse9 is being hailed by critics as a revitalizing shot of pure entertainment and easily one of the best films of the year. Don't miss WildHorse9. Only in theaters Friday. Get tickets now.