If I Ruled the World: Careful What You Think

The world’s a bit of a mess right now – maybe Trevor, Christiana, and Josh can come up with some fixes. It’s another If I Ruled the World episode. This week’s suggestions are… intimate? Their rulings are infiltrating your screens, bedrooms, and minds.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Trevor Noah?

  This segment is brought to you by Google Pixel. You know what's really frustrating? Knowing the exact information you need is somewhere on your phone, but still ending up wasting your time digging through five different apps just to actually find it. Thankfully, Google Pixel 11 is designed with Gemini intelligence, so it can proactively find the information I need right when I need it. Like my flight info on travel days or my calendar when Eugene texts me to hang out. Oh, sorry Eugene, I'm booked. Learn more about what Google Pixel 11 can do at googlestore.com. These AI features are available in select countries and languages for users 18 and over, and make sure to check responses.

• 0:45Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, booked forever, forever.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  I just, because I do want to vote yes for one of your ideas, Trevor, because I don't think I ever have. So I really, I do, I really do. I don't want to, because you know, people hit me up, they're like, stop bullying Trevor. And I'm like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not bullying him. He's just like, he says crazy stuff, like, so as my friend and my brother, I want to support you and your ideas.

• 1:15Trevor Noah?

  This is What Now? with Trevor Noah.

• 1:28Trevor Noah?

  You ready to rule the world?

• 1:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  Always am.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  Living.

• 1:32Trevor Noah?

  Welcome to my favorite game, If I Ruled the World. As I tell both of you and anyone who'll listen, my dream is to be a dictator of a very small nation, of a group of people who not wanted me to be a dictator, but they were like, yeah, this sounds like a cool idea. So I didn't like take power from them. We, it just was the way it was, okay? And yeah, I always think of what I would do to make my world perfect. And that's why I play this game. I feel like Josh has come in. Because last time you, you weren't happy with how we ran If I Ruled the World.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  He felt a bit scammed up on, or what was that?

• 2:07Speaker 02

  No, no, you know, I think I was more like, I always come to If I Ruled the World, like I ruled the world, like this should work. So then when y'all hit me with things I didn't think about, I feel like I'm not really ruling the world.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  I feel like my plans are falling apart. So I get a little vindictive because I'm like, I, you asked me what to do about rule the world. You didn't tell me to plug up all the holes in my logic.

• 2:33Trevor Noah?

  But remember, you have to vote. That's the game.

• 2:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:36Trevor Noah?

  If I ruled the world. Each of us takes the role of magnanimous dictator slash world leader slash king slash god person. We change the world in any way that we want. However, you have to win the votes of the other two people. Uh, we also ask everyone who listens to the show if they want to submit ideas. And then we vote on them. So let's go through some of the suggestions now. I haven't seen any of these, so I don't know. All right, let's see. If I ruled the world, listener suggestions, here we go. This is from Rebecca. Rebecca says, if I ruled the world, I would make it mandatory for world leaders to spend an hour creating art. And it can be anything, drawing, painting, ceramics, glass blowing, before they make any critical decisions on important matters, such as military action, immigration, environmental policies, et cetera.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Absolutely not.

• 3:22Trevor Noah?

  No?

• 3:23Speaker 01

  That's what George W. Bush is doing now is making art. That means some really dark stuff is going down if you have to make art.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  But I feel like he doing it in reverse. He already killed all the people and now, and now he doing the thing.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Okay, that's true.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  I, I think I would vote for this because I think that one of the most humbling things in the world is like doing an art that you don't do and then try to look like an expert in the same day. You have me? Like if you're like, hey, y'all, we have to invade. But then the people just saw you and they were like, bitch, you can't draw. How you gonna let us get killed and you can't draw? You have me? Like you have this.

• 4:04Trevor Noah?

  So the failure. Okay, I like this. It shows you the say.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  Uh, I am a yes for this.

• 4:09Trevor Noah?

  Christiana.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  No.

• 4:12Trevor Noah?

  You're no.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I'm.

• 4:14Trevor Noah?

  I I like it, but I'm a no, and I was a yes until Josh said his. I'll tell you why Rebecca, no, because now I actually agree with Josh. But like, I think men are, we have like this most sensitive egos.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:27Trevor Noah?

  So if you like fail at the pottery, you might invade a country to show how good you actually are.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:33Trevor Noah?

  So I agree with you, Josh, actually, but I think the other, so it's a no for me. Sorry, Rebecca. Fabian says, if I ruled the world, I would prohibit political careers. Everyone should have an occupation outside of politics. Government positions are a one-time thing and temporary. These positions should be considered a rare occasion to serve the nation. I I vote yes immediately.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  I also vote yes, because you really want to go out like an all-star. Yeah, I mean, some of these people start their political career and they're saying all the right stuff. But then you could tell after like three years, they're like beat down and they tried to pass the same thing.

• 5:03Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, you have to be.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  And they get cynical.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, they get cynical and then fifteen years later, they're like, so. It's like, what do you mean so? You don't even have to be there.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, no career politicians.

• 5:13Trevor Noah?

  I agree. Well done, Fabian. You just got three yeses. Wow, that's a good one. All right, Senna says, if I ruled the world, I would change the curtains in fitting rooms at stores to something that provides a little more coverage, because there always remains a very peak-throughable gap. And those two curtains have never fully met.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  This is very specific.

• 5:35Trevor Noah?

  This is super specific, Senna. Senna, did you, did someone spy on you?

• 5:39Speaker 02

  This is wild.

• 5:40Trevor Noah?

  I feel like this is a complaint for a department store, not like a suggestion for if I, it's also like, if you ruled the world.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:46Trevor Noah?

  Imagine you have all the power in the world and you use it to make the curtains in dressing rooms.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Can I tell you right now, this person is having a good life. Because they, they were like, if I ruled the world, I really wouldn't change anything. Except for this one thing.

• 6:03Trevor Noah?

  I mean, yes, because it's not a big deal.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, I I vote yes.

• 6:06Trevor Noah?

  I'm not against it.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  I don't see any.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, honestly, to vote against it, low-key makes it seem like you like peaking. So I'm also gonna vote yes.

• 6:15Trevor Noah?

  All right, so Senna, you got three yeses. Julie says, if I ruled the world, I would have government-funded monthly barbecues in every neighborhood. Huh.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  I don't trust the government to buy my meat.

• 6:29Trevor Noah?

  Well, they're funded. It's just funded.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Oh, it's funded.

• 6:31Trevor Noah?

  So I guess they'll just pay for you. You can go and buy your meat wherever you like.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  I've got so many questions, like, do we have to show up to the barbecues?

• 6:36Trevor Noah?

  No, it's just government funded.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Who's doing the grilling?

• 6:38Trevor Noah?

  There's always someone to do the grilling.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  The neighborhood I live in, I don't know if I'd want the people to make me meat.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  Look, can I tell you right now, this feels like a bureaucratic way to get at the cookout.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude. You know what I mean? I know infiltration when I see it. This is some COINTELPRO, okay, ultra. Yeah, yeah.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  I like the sentiment, though, because she's trying to get people together.

• 7:02Trevor Noah?

  Yes, yes, Julie's trying to get people together.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  I vote yes, because the heart is in the right place.

• 7:07Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  Uh, I also vote yes. The COINTELPRO was a joke. I do think that there's a, there's a world where using government funds to build community is what government should be for.

• 7:19Trevor Noah?

  Yes, okay, I like that.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  And so I do like the idea.

• 7:22Trevor Noah?

  Okay. I'm gonna go no, because I think people eat too much meat already. All right, Ben comes in and says, if I ruled the world, there should be fast lanes and slow lanes on the sidewalk. I'm just gonna go no, because that doesn't work on the highway. People are just gonna walk where they walk anyway. And then who decides what fast is? What is, because you don't have a speed, you don't have a speedometer on you as a person. What is fast? What is slow?

• 7:45Speaker 02

  I think that fast and slow is dictated by the local community.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  Because then they, they, they measured the steps of people in New York versus people in Portland.

• 7:55Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  And it's like, by and large, all New Yorkers walk faster than all people in Portland. So it's like, I think the, I think everyone starts to figure it out once you set those lanes up. The real problem is, there's actually not enough sidewalk to go around. Because you gotta go this way and this way, and you have to do it fast and slow.

• 8:13Trevor Noah?

  I don't know.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  That's four lanes of sidewalk.

• 8:15Trevor Noah?

  And then you've got someone like screaming at you, "Hey, this is the fast lane, buddy." Like, how fast do you walk? What is, I don't know. I'm sorry, Ben, for me, it's a no.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, so no for me. It's getting real ableist right now.

• 8:25Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, sidewalks already, you know?

• 8:27Speaker 02

  Ben, I will tell you, though, if you're trying to make your own fast lane, just walk with your fists out. People get out the way.

• 8:34Trevor Noah?

  All right, and then the last one comes from Charles, who says cars should have more than just a turn signal. There should be a little LED sign where you can send a short message to another driver, like, my bad, I didn't mean to cut you off. Or, your wipers are on, or move over. Wow, Charles, you are setting yourself up for Mad Max levels of fury on the road.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:55Trevor Noah?

  You're gonna write messages on people's lights?

• 8:58Speaker 01

  See, I would be like, sometimes I'm in the car, I'm like, oh my god, I like her hairstyle. And I'd love to be able to say it, but they can't hear me. If I could say it with my lights, that'd be amazing.

• 9:06Trevor Noah?

  You realize people are now catcalling from their cars?

• 9:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  I didn't, that didn't even cross my mind.

• 9:12Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, because there's gonna be guys who are like, I like your hairstyle.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  Nice hair.

• 9:15Trevor Noah?

  I've been following you for a few blocks. Hey, what's your number?

• 9:19Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't see a baby seat in that backseat.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  You know, I know, I think, I think it would be a bit rough, because they would all have to be pre-planned. So we'd have to figure out like four or five messages you could send.

• 9:32Trevor Noah?

  No, you could have a dynamic one. You could just have like a, you could have like a dot matrix that, that displays the, you could just, you could like say it and it would just show it. I just don't think that's a good idea. It's bad enough that we already have, like, I, I don't think.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  And how would people like read the light? That's what I'm saying.

• 9:47Trevor Noah?

  This is what I, I'm just saying this is trouble.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  I mean, we're getting towards that self-driving, so you're gonna have to do something.

• 9:52Trevor Noah?

  I hear you, but it's, it's a no for me.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a no for me too.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  I mean, probably a no because I don't understand it, but yeah, yeah.

• 10:02Trevor Noah?

  I feel like that's what people in Congress say every week. I'm gonna vote no on this because I don't understand it, but uh.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  I don't really get it.

• 10:08Trevor Noah?

  But yeah. All right, now for the big rounds. So who wants to go first? Josh, Christiana? I'm willing to go as well.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  Can we like do a coin toss or pull?

• 10:21Trevor Noah?

  Oh, just go like rock, paper, scissors.

• 10:26Trevor Noah?

  Oh, so Christiana, I beat Josh. Christiana beats that, you beat me.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Josh, Josh beat me and you beat Josh, so I go first.

• 10:34Trevor Noah?

  Okay, fine.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Then, um, Josh's second.

• 10:38Trevor Noah?

  Okay, let's go. Christiana?

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Okay, I didn't think I'd lose the game of random numbers.

• 10:43Trevor Noah?

  I don't think you lost, but okay.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Okay, if I ruled the world, I would designate mandatory reality TV for everyone over eighteen for one hour a week. You can pick whichever show you like, but you have to watch a reality TV show.

• 10:59Trevor Noah?

  You have to watch it.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  You have to watch a reality TV show.

• 11:03Trevor Noah?

  Okay, now, you've roped me in, why?

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Because I actually think reality TV is where so much of real life is playing out that actually like narrative TV doesn't have at the moment, like reality TV, you see lots of older women grappling with things like alcoholism or divorce or cancer and or you see couples going through nursing somebody who's ill or then you see somebody that like just killed their wife or and they're like different races, different classes, socioeconomic groups, it's like a very good picture into the country you live in.

• 11:39Trevor Noah?

  Huh.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  In a way that often people are very siloed in their like media consumption, whether, you know, Fox News is one thing and MSNBC is another thing. You can watch The Real Housewives of New York, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, you don't know who is a Republican, you don't. I fell in love with a woman and it turns out she's a big Trumper, but now I'm in love with her, so it's like, there's no going back. And it helps you see the humanity in people that you would otherwise not see and get to know people that you probably don't come across in real life. It could be like you're watching a show about the Dugga family that it's not on air anymore and you're like, oh, I'm learning about like evangelical Christians who have all of these children or The Real Housewives of Lake City is set in Mormon Utah.

• 12:20Trevor Noah?

  But people can choose the reality show.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Um.

• 12:23Trevor Noah?

  So what if everyone's just choosing a show that teaches them nothing?

• 12:25Speaker 01

  You'd be randomly assigned the show.

• 12:26Trevor Noah?

  Okay, so you don't know which show you get and you have to watch it?

• 12:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, you have to do it. It's like your service.

• 12:31Trevor Noah?

  You have to be engaged, you can't be on your phone, you're like, you're like.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  I mean, you can be on your phone. I think a great thing about the reality show experience is that a lot of people tweet, live tweet when they're watching it and they're covering it on Instagram and stuff. So if you want to connect with other viewers via social media, that's great.

• 12:44Trevor Noah?

  And you wouldn't just make people watch a documentary once a week?

• 12:47Speaker 01

  No way, because documentaries are so boring. You've got all those talking heads. They'd be like, oh my god, and the statistics. I hate documentaries. Oh my god, and especially the vanity documentaries when you've like basically got access to the person. So nothing bad comes up. So no, not documentary.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Let me tell you right now documentaries have that thing, they're starting to get that thing where there's a real wrestling match going on with like, we want to tell your story, but also don't make me look bad. But also you have to give us enough stuff. I'll tell you right now, there's a, one of the most incredible uh soccer players, female soccer players of all time, Hope Solo, has an incredible documentary out. And I really love the documentary because it, I felt like it gave me everything while still like, not protecting her, but like, like shielding us a little bit from things that would make us judge her harshly. But there is one point in it that I really liked where they had her talking about being like the real like rabid, we need to get up to this level type person on the team, like the Jordan of the team.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  And they use the B-roll and you could tell the B-roll, she was cursing the shit out of those girls. But they didn't play that B-roll because they, they probably knew it would make her look some other way. And she was already telling us that's what she was doing without saying the words. So she's like, I could be tough on my teammates, right? But in the B-roll is her be like

• 14:13Speaker 02

  it's like, like coaching while she's playing. And so I get what you're saying where it's like, the documentary has a filtered nature that reality TV doesn't have.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  And people on reality TV are by and large, the most shameless human beings on the planet. They are so shameless.

• 14:28Trevor Noah?

  So you, you think reality TV has become more genuine than documentaries in many ways?

• 14:33Speaker 01

  It is the, it shows so much truth, like, but for instance, if you watch The Real Housewives of Potomac right now, Karen Hooga is in prison for a DUI. This is a black woman, she called herself the Grande, very sophisticated, upper crust black woman, who, who, who you didn't even believe was capable of getting drunk and being sloppy. That's the image she put out there. And in my personal life, I've been talking about black women and alcoholism. I'm like, I know a lot of black women who drink a lot, right? But it's not something that we talk about publicly, it's in our group. Chats or whatever, we're seeing it play out at brunch. And Karen is like showing this mirror to like these experiences. And then you get, there's lots of people that go to prison for like stuff like um a lot of fraud, like insurance fraud.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  And like the time of griftery things that you have these people in these affluent suburbs that do to get their money. That I think is a very American story, but you don't necessarily talk about. So, yeah, you get kind of these shameless people who are a bit narcissistic, who are craving fame. Or attention, when I think a lot of people want attention in this country. And it makes you fall in love with people that you never thought you would fall in love with, who are very different from you.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  And shameless people are sometimes the most honest. Shameless people do the same. They do things for the same reasons that we do them, but we either rationalize or like like rationalization is sort of lying to yourself about it. But then there's also the lying to the world about like, no, no, no, I I did for this re- where shameless person is like, I was trying to get the money. I'm trying to, I got a plug.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:03Speaker 02

  Why would I not get the money?

• 16:05Speaker 01

  And it will help you understand Trump.

• 16:08Trevor Noah?

  Oh, okay.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  Cause people have never understood Trump.

• 16:12Trevor Noah?

  But you think reality TV helps people understand Trump more?

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause he's he is a product, I think he is a product of reality TV.

• 16:18Trevor Noah?

  He is.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  He was a type of person that would go in reality TV.

• 16:21Trevor Noah?

  A lot of his, a lot of his facade comes from The Apprentice.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:24Trevor Noah?

  Like, if you watch Trump pre-Apprentice, watch him in interviews, watch him as a person, he doesn't have the exact same vibe to him. One, you know, like post-Apprentice.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:34Trevor Noah?

  I think cause that the on The Apprentice, they were like, no, you gotta do this and you gotta, you're fired. And they gave him the catchphrases and like the and the look. And I think he just sort of adopted that character. And he beca- yeah, I I can see that. You know, when you s- when you first said it, I was firmly a no. I was like, this is a crazy idea, but I I think you've won me. I I think, one, because you you, I think you you've given a good justification. But two, I just think we need to share more experiences as people. So if everyone is watching a show weekly, everywhere in the world, I do like that everyone tomorrow has something to connect around.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  In the office.

• 17:09Trevor Noah?

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I I think we we need more collective viewing, more collective, you know what I mean? So I'm gonna vote yes. To reality TV.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  Yay.

• 17:16Trevor Noah?

  One hour every week forced upon you.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I think it sparks conversation you you would normally have to go to a very serious place to have. Like, I find that, like, watching Love is Blind or watching Love Island gets, like, Sally and I talking about relationships in a in a in a way that's like fun because of what they're doing.

• 17:37Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  That has nothing to do with us, because if I just if I just walk in the apartment cold and I'm like, what do you think about, like, when people don't know how to talk about cheating in their past?

• 17:52Speaker 02

  It's like we're having a very different conversation now, because then now you can't convince a person you don't mean you. But then when we watch someone on Love Island.

• 17:58Trevor Noah?

  It is a nice.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  Like, be like, kind of that that like.

• 18:01Trevor Noah?

  It's a great catalyst.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. And it helps yield moments, like, like Trevor was saying, where it's like, very quickly, one of my favorite reality TV moments of all time is on Love and Hip Hop Hollywood.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  When these two women were arguing, and you know how they get them drunk. They get them drunk, and then and they go to an event, but no one at the event but them, there's no event. And then they get to the event and they're drunk and they're arguing, and there was this one woman who had slept with this other woman's friend's man.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:29Speaker 02

  And so she was trying to tell her, like, you should value yourself more, and he's like, don't tell me to value myself. I value myself, which is right, he's hitting my phone, blah, blah, and they're going back and forth, back and forth. Then the woman whose event it was, she, like, clearly has been drinking too much all day, and she throws up. And the other woman go, they're about to fight, and the other woman goes, did you just throw up? And that is the realest moment I think I've ever seen, like, forget the cameras for a second, forget everything.

• 18:54Trevor Noah?

  Pause everything.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Did you just throw up? And like, she almost asked, are you OK? But then the other girl who just threw up was trying to save face, like, yeah, you got so much plastic surgery, it makes me sick to my stomach, so you made me throw up. She was like, oh, OK, then that's what we're doing, all right, fine. But like, that moment, I was like, that's a real person.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  So I vote yes.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, and also, I was gonna say, I know you both voted yes, I should mention, Nighty Day Fiance, fascinating look into. Immigration.

• 19:20Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah, no, they all these. You're not wrong.

• 19:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're really, yeah.

• 19:23Trevor Noah?

  You're not wrong. It is. It is a crude look into many issues that, as Josh says so eloquently, we we wouldn't get into otherwise. I like it. It's a yes. Well done.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Thank you, guys.

• 19:33Trevor Noah?

  Wow.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:34Trevor Noah?

  Just kicked it off with a double yes.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, wow. That's great.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  I think this is my first double yes, maybe my second.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel like you're the only person I voted for, though. I feel like I definitely vote against Trevor every time.

• 19:45Trevor Noah?

  Everyone votes against me.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, most of us vote.

• 19:47Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah. We're gonna continue this conversation right after this short break.

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• 21:09Speaker 05

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• 21:45Speaker 02

  Okay, so I'll go and this is more playing God a bit than just like a government mandate if I ruled the world as a dictator.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  Thank God.

• 21:54Trevor Noah?

  Josh the God, God Josh.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  If I ruled the world, I would make it actually hurt to be stupid. So like if somebody, if somebody is willfully ignorant.

• 22:09Trevor Noah?

  Yo, what?

• 22:10Speaker 02

  Because, because let me pitch you this, right? Let me pitch you this. Get ready. Because I think, I think you're against me now and you'll be with me at a second.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  We're gonna let you land.

• 22:18Trevor Noah?

  I'm absorbing that. I'm not against you. I'm, I'm in shock right now.

• 22:22Speaker 02

  Because if you are, if you are someone who in spite of everything that you know and everything you've been told, is like, you know what? I'm gonna stick a fork in the socket. And you stick the fork in the socket, it hurts you. Because your dumb idea ended up getting you hurt.

• 22:35Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  It costs you nothing to tell everyone else in the room who is impressionable to put a fork in the socket.

• 22:40Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  So if you, just by saying and knowing it's wrong, put a fork in the socket, it's essentially Pinocchio but with pain. You know, you know that you're being willfully ignorant. You know that you're lying. You know that, and so I wouldn't put my hand on the lever. I wouldn't be controlling how much. But you would have to have some actual barrier because it costs people nothing to spread misinformation. And it costs people nothing to like lead people for the sake of manipulation in a way that is like willfully dumb. Do you know what I mean? I don't mean people who don't know things yet.

• 23:14Trevor Noah?

  That's okay. This is the, this is the clarification I think I'm getting. So you're not saying people who quote unquote are stupid. You're not saying that. You don't mean somebody whose aptitude may not be at the level that, no, this is not what you're saying. You're saying if somebody does or says something that they know is stupid.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:31Trevor Noah?

  And they're just doing it to either act the fool or.

• 23:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:34Trevor Noah?

  Or drive people in the wrong direction or.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  But you know now.

• 23:38Speaker 01

  Can you give me like more concrete examples?

• 23:41Speaker 02

  Uh, Alex Jones will be in constant pain.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  That's, that's what I mean. Someone who like, like for every, cause what Alex Jones does that's particularly insidious is that he, he plays on things where whenever it's the right time and he's on the right podcast, he's an entertainer. And he's somebody who's just like, who's just like taking the piss out of everything. Even in court, I'm taking the piss out of everything. But then, then when, when it's just you and Alex and you, I mean, an impressionable person who really feels like downtrodden and you don't know who's to blame or if it's your fault or whatever. Alex is taking advantage of those people. He's catering to people who need something to, to blame that's like

• 24:24Speaker 02

  physical and they can get out there and they can like attack that person, which is why you, you have like Alex Jones fans like spitting on and following and harassing people who, who are families of victims of, uh, school shootings.

• 24:37Trevor Noah?

  Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:38Speaker 02

  But it's like Alex, no, and look, if he doesn't know, then it actually wouldn't hurt that much, but he knows. He knows what he's doing and he knows when he's lying.

• 24:48Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 24:48Speaker 02

  I used to wonder if Alex was like this crazy person or if he genuinely is this grifter who knows what he's saying is, is false. Cause what he, the two things that made me feel like, oh no, he knows what he's doing is anytime on the rare occasions that he is like right about something, he then uses that to leverage 19 other things that have nothing to do with that thing.

• 25:08Trevor Noah?

  That's the conspiracy theorist move.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  Then, when the lawyer for the families who were suing Alex Jones over Sandy Hook, when that lawyer said, "You have such an incompetent, uh, uh, counsel" "that they accidentally sent me your text messages." "I sent that to the court saying, hey, I don't think they meant to send me this."

• 25:29Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  So it entered into discovery. Then I let your counsel know that they had sent me this thing and they didn't respond. So now I have all your text messages where you're saying that you know that these things aren't true. And Alex's face, a crazy person would be like, "That didn't happen" or whatever. Alex's face was like, "Oh, no."

• 25:47Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  So now I know that you're like bullshit.

• 25:50Trevor Noah?

  But that's why he lost the case, right? That's why he had that massive judgment against him.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  And so that's what I mean. I, like, it's one of those things where...

• 25:56Trevor Noah?

  What kind of pain?

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Okay, but this, oh, before you go in the pain.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  I think I get where you're going with this and I may be able to follow. I think it needs a bit of refinement. Are you open to refinement?

• 26:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, open to refinement.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  All right, let's go. So...

• 26:07Speaker 02

  I'd be in pain if I wasn't.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  So I I feel like you may be conflating being willfully dumb and maybe being malicious or maybe being opportunistic. I think we're talking about different things.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  I see what you're saying.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Do you know what I mean?

• 26:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:28Speaker 01

  Some people are willfully ignorant, but not necessarily malicious intent. Like you can be willfully ignorant and you can share, you can be like, you don't need vaccines, drinks, celery juice, but that's not coming from a malicious place.

• 26:42Trevor Noah?

  I think Josh wants pain for those people as well.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  They actually think they're being helpful.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  They think they're being helpful, yeah.

• 26:47Speaker 01

  What you're describing with Alex Jones.

• 26:49Trevor Noah?

  The pain would clear it up for them, the word you're saying.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  Because this is, this is my only pitch where I'm like, you can vote with me or against me, I won't hold it against you, pass today.

• 27:01Speaker 02

  The world that I'm proposing sands the, the, the actual pain is the world that we live in. So you can go and, and tell people to do all these things and like, you know that they're not true and they're, you're not actually helping anybody or you think it's true and then you see people hurt and what, but that is the world we live in. It just takes longer and it depends on if you see the pain or not.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  You don't, you become president, right?

• 27:23Speaker 02

  You, you become president and you fear for your life every day because I already shot at you once. Like, I, I think that like, in my opinion, most people really aren't getting away with anything in the long run of things.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  This is a very karmic view of the universe.

• 27:38Trevor Noah?

  It really is, actually.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Really, like really like Buddhist principles.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  I just feel like, since we're already not getting away with anything, it might as well be immediate to be your own version of correction. Cause if I'm, if I'm the guy holding the fork and I put it in there, I'm like, oh.

• 27:52Trevor Noah?

  It's immediate.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  It's not worth it, I'm not gonna do it again.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  How would they feel the pain who administers it like?

• 27:56Trevor Noah?

  This is what I wanna know. I wanna know more about the pain.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  I think it would be as different.

• 28:00Trevor Noah?

  Who brings the pain, Josh?

• 28:00Speaker 02

  I think it would be as different as the person. So for instance, I think that like, if I'm sitting down with Christiana and I'm like, look, let me tell you what the third trimester is like. I might slow down if my nose just starts bleeding a little bit.

• 28:16Trevor Noah?

  Do you have it like?

• 28:17Speaker 01

  This is so dystopian.

• 28:19Trevor Noah?

  It really is. Josh, we we sent Josh away. We were like, Josh, you're too nice. And Josh went away and he read every like Orwellian novel vibe thing he could. And Josh was like, oh, I will show you because this is damn.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Okay, another question.

• 28:35Trevor Noah?

  Mm hmm.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  If somebody is like determined in their willful stupidity and they're constantly feeling pain, does it get to a point where they die?

• 28:45Speaker 02

  No, I don't think so because you.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  You still have the same life expectancy.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  You still have the same life expectancy. I think a physical representation of the thing now is there are those people that are like very like crunchy hippie and everything and they drink silver. Because they're like, no.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  They drink silver?

• 29:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, they drink silver.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  I've not heard about it.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  And so they're like, no, if I drink the silver, I won't need like a list of things that are actually like not that invasive and just like medically.

• 29:09Trevor Noah?

  Because of its antibacterial qualities.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  Okay, I know. Yeah, silver's great, but I didn't know people were drinking it.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  It's like, it's like they will turn a little bit blue. You'll see it on them.

• 29:18Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  So they will look like what they're going through.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, they'll look like what they're going through and they'll still be sick because you just drank a silver. You didn't like go to the hospital. Yeah, I mean, and I think that that version is like kind of almost the thing that I'm proposing now where it's like you're not walking around like, ah, ah, but I do think if you're if you're sitting there and you know, you you you know, but because of like whatever biases you have, like I I watched this documentary with someone who had left the neo-Nazi movement and he said that the entire time I was in there, the entire twenty twenty years that I was a neo-Nazi, I spent all of my days and most of my life rationalizing because I was constantly being bombarded with things

• 30:01Speaker 02

  that showed me the world was not the way that I had both been told it was and was telling myself that it was. And so I'm like, yeah, you're already in pain to a certain degree because now this this like black neighbor that you have has been incredibly nice to you and mowed your lawn and everything.

• 30:16Trevor Noah?

  Okay, but you feel like they should have gotten that pain earlier?

• 30:18Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  And physically.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, because now he's over here, he's this neo-Nazi was whooping ass for twenty years and I was like, but I've changed. It's like, that's great. I'm glad. But man, maybe if your head hurt a little bit while you were like rationalizing.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  What age does the pain thing start?

• 30:36Speaker 02

  Uh, I think it starts when your brain stops developing. That way, everybody gets, you know.

• 30:40Trevor Noah?

  Okay, okay.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Fair share. You would, like, if you're a kid, like, you you wouldn't even understand the pain if they gave you the pain.

• 30:48Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, okay, okay.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  You wouldn't, you wouldn't even know what's happening.

• 30:51Trevor Noah?

  Hmm, okay.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  You know?

• 30:53Trevor Noah?

  I think I'm ready to vote.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  Trev, you go first.

• 30:56Trevor Noah?

  Uh, I'm going to vote no.

• 31:00Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:01Trevor Noah?

  Only because I don't think we have a clear idea of who is or isn't being stupid in society and in life. And I know it's a bit of a cop-out, but it's, I think it's true.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:16Trevor Noah?

  And I think while, like, Alex Jones is like an almost easy example, I think there's some examples where people will feel pain for the wrong reason at the wrong time, and then it might shut down something that's a smart idea. Like, maybe there's someone who's like, hey, the earth is round. We need to sail the other way, long before everyone else is saying it, and then they're like, ah, and then they don't do it. Or someone doesn't invent electricity, or I just, I I just, I'm worried about that.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, stops exploration a bit.

• 31:43Trevor Noah?

  But I will say this, I love the, as Krishna said, I love the comic side of what you're saying. I I do think it would be great if people experienced the ramifications of their actions a lot sooner. However, I just worry that even in our finite understanding of what is and isn't stupid, at the time that we're processing it, we might put a lot of good people in pain who might not do something that was necessary for us because they were like, I don't want the pain. And I think pain, pain also stops people from exploring something that might seem stupid at the time that they're gonna say it, but then isn't later. And and you know, I do love the idea, but I'm gonna vote no, unfortunately.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  Before you vote.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 32:24Speaker 02

  I will say, I'm not talking about imagination. And I'm not talking, I'm talking about, I'm not even having the, my hand on the lever.

• 32:31Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  You know what's a lie, and you keep telling it to people, and that gives you a headache. I think is, I, and and so I get everything that you're saying.

• 32:41Trevor Noah?

  Okay, so.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  And I don't expect you to change your vote.

• 32:42Trevor Noah?

  So now, but now let me ask you one question. What if somebody is lying? Trying to like, let's say there's, there's, there's a, there's a government out there that's a dictatorship. And then the police come knocking on the door trying to take, take your family away and then you lie to the, the, the military police. Do you feel pain?

• 32:57Speaker 02

  Oh, no, a lie, I'm, I'm talking about a lie that is like willful ignorance. I'm still not talking about having an imagination or a lie to like.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean. Like if somebody's like.

• 33:11Trevor Noah?

  It's only something where you believe the opposite completely and you are doing it.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  It's really only like. Yeah, it's really only like the slightly, slightly to very malicious spread of uh misinformation or disinformation.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  Wow, oh.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  I did not see that coming.

• 33:29Trevor Noah?

  I'll change my vote to yes.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, wow.

• 33:31Trevor Noah?

  You clear, I'll change my vote to yes.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Okay, so as somebody who recently gave birth. And has given birth without drugs. And has a very high pain threshold. Like I 3D printed a human through my vagina, Josh, so like. And I was nine months pregnant. I think you underestimate how, and then there's people that live with chronic pain. How pain can kind of just become ambient. I think you're describing very damaged people right now. I think Alex Jones. Needs to do a lot of like spiritual work, not to like psychologize him, but like this is a very damaged person. And there are certain types of people that A have a high pain threshold. Um, are used to chronic pain, the pain is always ambient, and there are some people who thrive off pain.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  I forgot about the boners.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  There are people who thrive of pain.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, no, you're right.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  I know this woman called Laura Chekoway, she made this great documentary called Lucky about this girl who I think lives in the Bronx and she's like. Really charismatic and beautiful, and she's covered in tattoos, right? And um, she says in the documentary, see, I shit on documentary, but that's actually a really good documentary. Um, she says, they were like, why do you have all these tattoos on your face? And she'd had a really tough life. And she says, I can't really locate the pain I feel. Emotionally, so every time I get a tattoo, I can feel the pain physically.

• 34:57Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  I'm paraphrasing it now, and it made me look at like, you know, psychic pain a bit differently.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  I mean, yeah.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  And look at people that have lots of piercings and people that have lots of tattoos. Like, they're actually trying to physically experience something that they only experience emotionally and can't often locate. And I think that we're talking about very emotionally damaged people if you're like willfully putting bad information in the world for your own gain. And I think you underestimate how many people, for whatever reasons, maybe they've had really tough lives, or maybe they're sociopathic, who would actually enjoy that sensation of pain. It's making them feel something.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  Hmm, geez.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  Right? That is, and I see, I feel like Trump is in that category because of his own damage. He likes to feel, like, the thing that we're like, ugh, everyone thinks you're awful, you're a nasty person. He gets a rush from that pain and that criticism. And I do fear you would create a world where people would seek out that pain.

• 35:57Trevor Noah?

  You're basically saying we'd create like supervillains.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  Su- the Joker.

• 36:01Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, that's what it sounds like you're saying.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, you know.

• 36:04Trevor Noah?

  Damn.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  We're already in a world where people like self-harm for various reasons. And I'm just like, there's part of the human experience where pain can be very validating and offers release. My worry is that some of these bad actors, feeling the pain, are just gonna do more bad things. And that's why it's a no, not because I don't think it's a good idea.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, no, no, those, those people will probably have to be tackled.

• 36:32Trevor Noah?

  Damn, Josh, you were close.

• 36:34Speaker 01

  I do like the underlying.

• 36:35Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, you were close.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  And there's something there.

• 36:37Trevor Noah?

  No, I'll keep working on it.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:38Trevor Noah?

  I'll keep working on it. Yeah, I mean.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  We've actually never done, and if I ruled the world, that was a revised idea of an old idea.

• 36:45Trevor Noah?

  That's true.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  You know?

• 36:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh, yeah.

• 36:47Trevor Noah?

  That's true. Okay, so you're gonna come back?

• 36:48Speaker 01

  Go workshop it.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  I might. Look, it might be three, If I Rule the World, later. This is gonna take time. Because now I forgot about a whole demographic of people and everything.

• 36:57Trevor Noah?

  Supervillains. Don't forget the supervillains.

• 37:04Trevor Noah?

  And now it's time for today's self-care toolkit segment brought to you by Amazon. Whether it's delivering medication to your door with Amazon Pharmacy or 24/7 virtual care with Amazon One Medical. Thanks to Amazon, healthcare just got less painful. What's your sick day routine? Because we all have one, even if we don't admit it. There's a rhythm to it, you know? The minute your body gives up and you surrender to the couch, everything else follows. The food, the TV, the music, the mood. I mean, there's movies, obviously, movies. You can't watch anything new when you're sick. That's a rule. It has to be something familiar, something you've seen a dozen times.

• 37:46Trevor Noah?

  For me, it's something random like The Princess Bride, Ocean's Eleven, or Finding Nemo. Yes, something warm, something where you already know how it ends. And that's the point, because I don't know where this sickness is going, man. Or it's got to be music, you know? Music, soft and low-key, lo-fi beats, acoustic soul, maybe a little Norah Jones, you know, if you're really leaning in. It's less about listening and more about setting the tone, the background sound for your inner drama. Uh, maybe reading? No, that was a fake. I'm not gonna read, forget it. I always think I'll catch up on a book, but let's be honest. I stare at the ceiling or scroll through my phone at like 5% brightness, like I'm decoding ancient texts. I'm not reading a book when I'm sick. It feels like somebody's squeezing my nose into my head.

• 38:29Trevor Noah?

  You want me to concentrate on words written on a page? I'm more focused on food. Yes, food, that's the one part I take seriously. It has to be hot and comforting. Ramen or grilled cheese with tomato soup. They say the two come together to cure any ailment. Something simple that wraps you up from the inside, you know? And honestly, the best part is that one friend who always checks in. You know who that friend is, or maybe you are that friend. The, "Hey, I heard your voice in that meeting. You sounded like a dying person. Are you okay?" You know, that friend is like, "Hey, I've noticed you weren't in the group chat, laughing at all the memes. Are you still alive?" Yeah, just that little person, that little voice note or text that slips in to let you know that you matter.

• 39:13Trevor Noah?

  I feel like that's part of the medicine. Sick days are weirdly sacred. They're like a reset button wrapped in a hoodie. And when you get the routine just right, even being sick feels kind of bearable. Well, we hope you gave you some ideas for your self-care routine. Today's self-care toolkit segment was brought to you by Amazon. Thanks to Amazon, healthcare just got less painful.

• 39:43Trevor Noah?

  Alright, so Christiana has her two votes, Josh only got one. Let's see if I can get anything out of this one. So, if I ruled the world,

• 39:57Trevor Noah?

  I would make it so that every thought people are having during sex or intimacy comes out of them verbally, whether they like it or not.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  This is insane.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  Man, this man trying to get a no.

• 40:13Trevor Noah?

  What the? Let me finish, let me finish.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  Yep, yep, yep.

• 40:18Trevor Noah?

  You will be making out with somebody, and like in my world, it like comes out of every, don't worry, don't worry about like, oh, but I'm kissing them. No, it'll, it might come out, it might play out of your ears. This is the world I'm creating.

• 40:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:29Trevor Noah?

  Think of it as like having a little speaker on you, not visible, but you're making out with somebody, and whatever you're thinking comes out of you.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  Me, oh, I need to do the washing, oh, I need to do...

• 40:39Trevor Noah?

  That's fine, whatever it is, comes out of you. And if you're having sex with somebody, whatever you're thinking, whatever they're thinking, it comes out of them, and the other person is able to hear it while this is happening.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  This is the whole idea.

• 40:53Trevor Noah?

  This is the complete idea, Josh.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 40:55Trevor Noah?

  Right, cool. Now, I will tell you why.

• 40:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 40:58Trevor Noah?

  Okay, I'll tell you why. So, the reason I think this would be a great idea is for a few reasons. One, because we live in a world where nobody teaches us about sex. Nobody. We go to school, we learn about different types of clouds.

• 41:19Trevor Noah?

  I know about cumulonimbus, I know about stratus, I know about different types of rivers, perennial, non perennial. Nobody taught me about sex at school, like nothing. They taught you about like the genitalia, that's not sex. They did not teach you about sex.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  I mean, there's a reason you can't like demonstrate sex to children.

• 41:40Trevor Noah?

  But you're not taught about sex. And this is the thing that I.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  The best way to learn about sex is sometimes experiential.

• 41:46Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, no, no. I think there's ways you can learn about a thing without doing it. So here's the thing I think of sometimes. We'll make these arguments, but then like, go watch a cartoon. They show things like, there's cartoons where they're shooting each other's heads off and getting blown up and all kinds of things. You know how many times Bugs Bunny blew off Almofad's head with a gun? But nobody said, you can't show kids somebody shooting someone's head off.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  I mean, someone probably should have said that.

• 42:09Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but what I'm saying is like, we, we will say, I'm, I'm saying sex is a good and natural part of life.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 42:15Trevor Noah?

  And I'm saying in our lives, no one teaches it to us. Now, I'm not saying, I'm not even saying when. You brought children in, by the way, let the record show. I said nothing about children. And then Christiana would have suddenly thrown children at me, as if now I was saying, I just said, we don't get taught about sex.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:28Trevor Noah?

  I'm saying even when we're 21, there's no sex school. You know what I mean? When we're 18, there's no sex school. So this is the first part. No one teaches us about sex. Secondly, we have done a terrible job at working in and around consent. Just let's be honest, we've made, we've done a terrible job. The Me Too movement came and went, and what did we actually learn from it? Right? Almost nothing. Half of the people are like, well, this is why I'm not gonna have a woman in my office. That doesn't seem like the lesson we were trying to learn. Do you, do you get what I'm saying? But also, we, we didn't dive into the nuances. We didn't talk about how consent is fluid and is always moving and is sometimes verbal, sometimes non-verbal, sometimes culturally defiant. It's complicated. It's difficult. That's what I'm saying in my world.

• 43:12Trevor Noah?

  When you are being intimate with somebody.

• 43:14Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 43:14Trevor Noah?

  Every thought you are having would be loudly and clearly projected to the other person.

• 43:20Speaker 01

  Okay, but Trevor, why why not just do the school of sex first before you have to do the thought?

• 43:27Trevor Noah?

  Yes, okay, another reason for this is because I think a lot of couples out there have sex lives that diminish over time because they're not sharing what's in their mind.

• 43:40Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 43:41Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 43:41Trevor Noah?

  And they can't like tap into it. So you hear many stories of women who are not being pleasured.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 43:48Trevor Noah?

  And they don't say it to their partner. And then like fifteen years down the line, they're like, ah, yeah, it wasn't working for me. The sex wasn't great. And you're like, this poor guy, he didn't know, he never got a chance.

• 43:59Speaker 01

  And the school of sex help resolve that?

• 44:01Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but the school, remember, people people fail in school all the time.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  That's okay, failure is okay.

• 44:06Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, no.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  People fail at sex all the time.

• 44:07Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but you see, in my world, it's not about the failure nor the success. It's just about the raw honesty that the thing would provide.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 44:14Trevor Noah?

  Okay?

• 44:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:15Trevor Noah?

  Think of it the other way as well. Like, there are men out there who might have like a fantasy or something they wanna think about and they wanna share and they can't share and then it blocks them off from their partner. I both ways it can go, by the way. I don't I don't think it's gendered. I'm just saying these are examples. And so I'm saying you'd be having the sex. And to your point, you might go, I have to do the washing, I have to do the dishes, I have to. And then your husband could say to you, baby, you don't worry about the dishes right now. I got you, babe. You don't need to worry about those dishes.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 44:42Trevor Noah?

  Okay?

• 44:43Speaker 01

  I've got I've got a couple of things.

• 44:45Trevor Noah?

  You can ask as many questions as you like.

• 44:47Speaker 01

  So there's this guy I follow on TikTok, I forget his name, I think we should have him on this the show.

• 44:51Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  He's a PhD, he's a professor who studies like boyhood and manhood. And one of the studies they did was about what men think about during sex.

• 44:59Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 45:00Speaker 01

  And they got these men to speak to, you know, I don't know how they conduct these experiments.

• 45:04Trevor Noah?

  Probably all lies, but carry on.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  No, and it was very revealing. Men said they think about other men in the sense they think about what they're going to tell their friend about this sexual experience.

• 45:14Trevor Noah?

  Who are these guys?

• 45:15Speaker 01

  Anyway, he goes through all of these things.

• 45:17Trevor Noah?

  This is what I don't like about these studies. These are lies. Sorry, carry on. These are lies.

• 45:22Speaker 01

  Now he's become anti-intellectual.

• 45:24Trevor Noah?

  No, these are lies.

• 45:25Speaker 02

  You know.

• 45:26Trevor Noah?

  They're just gonna say like, these are. Josh, okay, okay, Josh, Josh.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  But, but, but, he was just saying, it was interesting. And then men think, think about their insecurities, men think, what does she think about my body? Men, it was like very vulnerable.

• 45:38Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah, but that's everyone.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 45:39Trevor Noah?

  That part is everyone.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  And my thing is, I don't know if men are ready for what women think about them during sex. Cause if, some of it is not very nice.

• 45:50Trevor Noah?

  That's great.

• 45:51Speaker 01

  And you could go away with a lasting scar about what she thinks about your physical appearance.

• 45:56Trevor Noah?

  This is great.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  And I think there's a reason pri-, um, thoughts are private, I was gonna say privates are private, but thoughts are private.

• 46:02Trevor Noah?

  No, but these privates are thoughts that are gonna not be privates. Here's a counter argument to what you're saying, and I, I'm with you completely. Remember, in my world, you will not know the before. Remember, these are the rules of If I Ruled the World. The people are not gonna now, it's not a new thing for them. I'm just saying, for all of us, it switches tomorrow, we will not remember what it was, okay?

• 46:17Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:18Trevor Noah?

  So, everyone will be experiencing this. At some point, you will become immunized to it.

• 46:23Speaker 01

  No, I think people just won't have sex.

• 46:26Trevor Noah?

  You think people, you think you can stop people from having sex?

• 46:28Speaker 02

  I, I think this could stop people from having sex.

• 46:31Trevor Noah?

  People, you know that in refugee camps, people have sex.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  I'm with you.

• 46:35Trevor Noah?

  I'm just letting you know now.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, but those thoughts are pretty quiet, just like the sex.

• 46:40Trevor Noah?

  But man, people have sex everywhere.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  I'm with you.

• 46:45Trevor Noah?

  People in jail have sex.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Cause there are no thoughts.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  And you don't know the thoughts.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  Cause this is what I'm, this is, I want you to win here, I want to see you succeed, so these are my questions, alright?

• 46:55Trevor Noah?

  Do you know how good the sex can be if people reveal their intimate secrets?

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Why don't they just say it?

• 46:59Trevor Noah?

  No, because they can't, that's what I'm saying, in my world, they are just saying it, that's what I'm trying to say.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  Cause you're taking, you're forcing their thoughts.

• 47:05Trevor Noah?

  I'm not forcing it, it just happens to you.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  But no, because you change.

• 47:08Trevor Noah?

  It's like a fart that you can't block, but from your mind.

• 47:11Speaker 01

  Have you smelled farts?

• 47:12Trevor Noah?

  Yes, but that's what, okay, now, actually, this is a great point. If you hang out with your friends, your closest friends, people who you really love and vibe, your kids even, you tell me that farts haven't brought you closer together. People love to intellectualize so many things in this world, but let's be honest, Josh, you're hanging out with somebody close to you, you're a couple, any couple who's listening to this right now. Now, you think to yourself, you're a couple, you're in bed together, one of you farts. Tell me that that moment doesn't bring joy into your lives.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  Cause when you have kids, you just blame it on one of the kids.

• 47:39Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but it's funny, but it's funny. You see, it's a joy. It brings you something. You fart with your friends. When do you not fart? When you you do not fart with people that you are not comfortable with, environments that you are not comfortable in, right? In environments. So what I'm saying is, the fart is a great measure for where you are most comfortable. Ah, let it loose, let it rip.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  But you're doing it, you're consenting to the fart coming out, cause you're comfortable.

• 48:04Trevor Noah?

  Yes, but the other person.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  Consent to the thought coming out. And if I consent to the thought coming out, I just say it. That's why we have mouths.

• 48:10Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, no, no, no. But what I'm saying is here, I'm helping people, just letting it come out.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  Okay, so I have three questions, because I, once again, I think this is a very interesting idea. When when your thought comes out.

• 48:22Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  Can you talk while your thought comes out?

• 48:24Trevor Noah?

  You can't talk at the same time.

• 48:26Speaker 02

  You can't talk at the same time as your thought comes out.

• 48:28Trevor Noah?

  You can't think a different thing to what you're saying.

• 48:29Speaker 02

  Okay, because you can think so fast and because you can think faster than you can speak. You could speak and then think and then the thought comes out right after the spoken word, right?

• 48:40Trevor Noah?

  So you could, so you could say, oh, this is the best sex I ever had. And then your brain goes, no, it's not.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:45Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  And you'd want that person to hear that.

• 48:47Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, you can, you can do that, yes.

• 48:48Speaker 02

  Then the other two things, which I feel like are the sticking points for.

• 48:52Trevor Noah?

  Can I tell you why? Can I, let me ask you. So I'll, I'll tell you why. Because I think in my world, I think there could be something beautiful on the other side of the friction that we would experience initially. Cause yes, I understand where you're coming from. Please don't get me wrong. Even me myself, when I came up with this idea, I was like, Trevor, this is crazy. To me myself.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:08Trevor Noah?

  Right? Because I challenged myself as well. And then I thought, but think about how beautiful this moment could be. You're having sex with somebody, right? They go, this is the best sex I ever had. Then their brain voice comes out and goes, no, it's not. I've had much better sex. Now.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  You wanna end a bunch of marriages.

• 49:25Trevor Noah?

  No, no, no, no, no. Now they, you can, you wouldn't even think about.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  But what if somebody's.

• 49:28Trevor Noah?

  Is marriage the first time you guys are having sex?

• 49:29Speaker 01

  No, but what if somebody is thinking about an ex or thinking about what they watched during sex?

• 49:33Trevor Noah?

  I think that this opens us up.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 49:36Trevor Noah?

  To the world of intimacy that we often act like isn't happening already. And I think so, for instance, somebody says, this is the best sex. No, it's not. Then you could say, oh, why did you lie to me? Now your brain might even say that.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  People are gonna get shot, Trevor.

• 49:51Trevor Noah?

  Christina, why are you jumping?

• 49:52Speaker 01

  Men are gonna shoot their wives and wives are gonna stab their husbands.

• 49:55Trevor Noah?

  Christina, you understand that people are not having sex for the first time when they're married? You're jumping straight to that. People have had sex along the way.

• 50:02Speaker 01

  Sure, but like you've had sex along the way, you, the thought, you see, hear a thought and someone just like, oh, her titties are lopsided.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  You shag them.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  I think you're just, and I love, I love what, I love why the intention behind it. Like, I'm not hating on their day for real. You want like this radical transparency and honesty and freedom.

• 50:25Trevor Noah?

  And intimacy.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  And liberation and intimacy.

• 50:27Trevor Noah?

  And it could be fun. It could be funny and interesting.

• 50:29Speaker 01

  Very emotional and.

• 50:31Trevor Noah?

  But I'm saying that would happen only because now you, we're in it. Remember, we'll become a little more robust as people. This is like how we are.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 50:37Trevor Noah?

  This is just how we are.

• 50:40Trevor Noah?

  Don't go anywhere because we got more What Now after this.

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• 52:35Speaker 02

  These are the sticking points I have, right?

• 52:37Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Is that, one, we know this from comedy. All three of us know this from comedy, that sometimes you have a comedic thought, which is a joke.

• 52:46Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  And people will see you perform the joke in a place that's also a setting for jokes.

• 52:51Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  And they'll still be like, they meant it.

• 52:53Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  So now a thought that is like a sexy thought, or I'm just thinking, or I'm thinking, whatever, is gonna now seem like, because remember, you can't hear the thoughts when we're not being intimate.

• 53:03Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  So now, the only time I hear your thoughts, it's gonna be a thing that might be slightly negative, or be a thing that like takes the fantasy too far.

• 53:13Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 53:13Speaker 02

  Because you gotta remember, for people who are into like S and M or anything like that, there might be a moment where it's like, you're consensually choking someone who wants to be choked, but in your, in your head, you're like, I'm gonna kill you.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  You were never gonna kill them.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  Here, okay, so now they're like.

• 53:38Trevor Noah?

  No, but then they would say in their brain, please don't kill me. That's why they stop thinking. They would be like, you're gonna kill me? And then your brain would go like, no, I'm not gonna kill you.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  No, no, we're playing, we're playing.

• 53:47Trevor Noah?

  We're just playing.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  But now, now you've distracted from the thing that they were enjoying, which was the like, little rough, chalky thing. Because now you had to think around the thing you would have been.

• 53:57Trevor Noah?

  Okay, I can, I can take this, I can take this.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  Okay. Cause like, cause I'm married, I'm, I'm just in like married and couple lands.

• 54:02Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  What does this mean for casual sex? Cause most sex, really, that people are having, like, whether it was someone you swiped on Tinder or Grindr, it's a stranger, it could be someone you met at a club.

• 54:12Trevor Noah?

  Loving it.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  What does it mean for casual sex?

• 54:16Trevor Noah?

  What do you mean, what does it mean for it?

• 54:17Speaker 01

  Cause then, it could be like an encounter and it's.

• 54:20Trevor Noah?

  I think it would be great.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  And the guy's like, oh my god, what if my, what if my wife finds out? And you're like, what shit, you got a wife?

• 54:26Trevor Noah?

  But that's fantastic, you see? You're just telling me a good thing.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  No, that's double stabs. Now you get stabbed where you hit.

• 54:33Trevor Noah?

  But remember, I said, when you, when you are being intimate, so I'm saying even like, when you start kissing and remember, I didn't say, I didn't just say sex, I said the intimacy, as soon as you be intimate, it starts then.

• 54:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, so.

• 54:44Trevor Noah?

  Like, from the moment, you know that moment where we like, we like look at somebody, and then there's the silence, then we think something. Then the voice would come out and be like, I wonder if now's a good time to kiss them.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  Isn't there something, isn't there like an app that we could? I think there's just something that's an in-between, and I, I think like, I like the school of sex thing, that you were talking about that we don't have.

• 55:04Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 55:04Speaker 01

  Um, I think there's lots of steps we can get to before this kind of black mirror world where people know sex.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  Because you gotta remember, this is the, the only other thing that I have.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  But I'm not saying it's a terrible, it just feels like the most extreme version of this problem we're trying to solve.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  It does feel like radical honesty, but I think that there's, there's a world where, because you and I, Trevor, are both men, and we understand what men are like.

• 55:30Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  I had to sit down a couple of my friends who did not believe me, when I told them, there were, there were plenty of men in this world, who will act flamboyant, they'll even act gay, to like get in with you, and now that they're your gay best friend, and y'all touch, or y'all play, or whatever, now you're like, oh, I've never thought about you this way, and I've never been with the one, but, all lies.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  All lies.

• 55:56Trevor Noah?

  Again?

• 55:57Speaker 02

  But literally, that much of a long game. And I worry that you will create Jedis of men who know their thoughts are gonna be heard. So they're like, I gotta, cuz you gotta remember. You gotta remember, a lot of dudes are trying not-

• 56:13Trevor Noah?

  People will be able to control their thoughts to that point?

• 56:15Speaker 02

  A hundred percent. Because, cuz this is the thing, they know when it's gonna be turned on, so they know how they have to think for it. Then they know when it's going off, so then they can be like, huh, okay, right? Right after she leaves. I'm saying, already in this analogy.

• 56:29Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 56:30Speaker 02

  A lot of guys during sex are trying not to end sex. They're fighting to keep the sex going.

• 56:36Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 56:36Speaker 02

  So a lot of what you'll hear are baseball statistics.

• 56:41Speaker 02

  A lot of it'll, a lot of it'll just be like, the great Bamboni.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  And so now she's like, why is he, why is he just doing numbers in his head?

• 56:53Trevor Noah?

  But I think you are spending, you are doing what, what I did when I first heard about Airbnb and Uber. The first time I heard about Airbnb, I was like, this is never gonna work. I remember hearing about it as a concept, they said this is app, people stay at strangers' houses. I was like, this will never work. Nobody is gonna allow a stranger to come into their home and live there. Sometimes stay with them, that'll never happen, nobody trusts each other. Uber, I remember being like, this is the craziest idea I've ever heard. You're telling me, people are gonna drive their own car to pick you up? And they don't know you, and they're not a professional driver, they're just a random driver? I was like, I don't know.

• 57:36Trevor Noah?

  And yet, look, we get into Ubers with strangers all the time, we go live at Airbnbs all the time. And yes, there's the occasional friction, I'm not saying it's perfect, but for the most part, it works.

• 57:50Trevor Noah?

  And I, I honestly, both of you, as brilliant thinkers and as my friends, I hear what you're saying. But I think you're focusing on the friction side of it more than you are on what comes from the other side of it. So to your point, I think there would be something beautiful in the person who's having sex with the man going, "Baseball stats?" And then he goes, "Yes, I'm trying to prolong my ejaculation. I'm trying to make sure that I don't ejaculate."

• 58:20Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, oh, just did it, because I mentioned it.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  And now where are we? See, you interrupted my stats.

• 58:28Trevor Noah?

  No, but you see, but now I think it opens up, there's an intimacy, because now she can go, "Oh, why are you trying that hard not to ejaculate?" Or, or I think there's like something that can open up in a way that, that right now, we don't have in sex. This is what I'm saying.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  Why don't just go to a sex therapist?

• 58:43Trevor Noah?

  Cristiano, how can people just afford sex therapists randomly?

• 58:46Speaker 01

  Why, you rule the world. You can give sex therapy away for free.

• 58:49Trevor Noah?

  Yes, but now that's like, everyone has to go through the thing and do the thing. I'm just, instantly, we're in it.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  I really need you to sell me on what the upside of this is. I'm really, I'm really, I'm not focusing on attention.

• 59:02Trevor Noah?

  The only, the only, so the only, okay, I'll tell you, there are three upsides to this thing.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Think I can help you on the upside too.

• 59:06Trevor Noah?

  So there are three upsides that I think. Upside number one, I think we lose a lot of intimacy in sex because we hide numerous things. We hide the fact that we're uncomfortable. We hide the fact that we don't know how we feel for the other person. We, we hide so many things that I think rob us of the intimacy that we could be experiencing. So from fresh hookups all the way to married couples. You know how many guys out there have no idea how quote-unquote terrible the sex was with the girl they were with? And she's like, "I don't know if I can, I really liked the date that we went on, but that was just horrible." And this person doesn't know. They're a nice person, and then maybe they become less of a nice person, because they're like, "Why don't I get second hookups?" Or, "We go on dates and they like me," but this happens, right?

• 59:50Trevor Noah?

  And then also for a woman, it's like, imagine what it's like to be you in a world where you're not getting great sex, because you don't want to hurt the person's feelings, but now it's not you. The thing is just happening to her. So the first thing I'm saying is, I think it would open up a lot of intimacy channels. These are the upsides. I understand the downsides. Uh, I think another thing it would do is it would help people voice the moments where they're uncomfortable, where I think sometimes the other person doesn't even know. And I think this can happen both ways. Sometimes people are uncomfortable. And it would be great if your brain could just say, I'm uncomfortable. And then you go like, oh damn, you're uncomfortable? Okay.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  But don't you worry that by creating this shortcut, then people just aren't gonna do what I think is the proper work of spending time and getting to know someone. And whether it's your casual hookup, or whether it's like people have been together for a long time. If you know their thoughts are just gonna be downloaded to you.

• 1:00:36Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  You're like, I'm not gonna ask my wife about my, her day. I just know during sex, I'm gonna hear about, oh, that bitch in the office was talking about me.

• 1:00:43Trevor Noah?

  No, but that depends on what people think about during sex. I think we should give people some credit. Some people are able to really focus on the sex.

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  We can't focus. We're on our phones all the time.

• 1:00:52Trevor Noah?

  No, I think there's a lot of times when people are having sex going, this feels amazing. I love this person so much. I'm so lucky. What an amazing experience. I don't wanna, yeah, whatever it might be. But I, but I, I think there are, I think there are those upsides.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:01:05Trevor Noah?

  And so I, I'm willing to take a little bit of the friction for what I think could be a beautiful, open, honest, and interesting conversation that we could be having during sex.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  This is, this is the thing I was gonna say that might help you. Who knows? People probably, I'm assuming, don't quite have some of the sensitivities that they have in our current world.

• 1:01:30Trevor Noah?

  That's what I mean, because in room, it's always been like this.

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  It's always been.

• 1:01:33Trevor Noah?

  It's always been like this.

• 1:01:33Speaker 02

  It's always been like this.

• 1:01:34Trevor Noah?

  So they just know that that's what happens during sex.

• 1:01:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, got you, got you, got you.

• 1:01:39Trevor Noah?

  It's the same way.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  You're asking me, like, do, do I wanna live in a world where this is true?

• 1:01:43Trevor Noah?

  That's what I mean. Cause think of it this way. Thank you, Josh, actually, because think of how crazy our current sex is. Imagine if we lived in an alternate universe and I had pitched this to you and I said, if I ruled the world, I would make it so that whenever people orgasm, their face goes like this, and then they go like, ee. I don't think either of you would say yes to that.

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:02:04Trevor Noah?

  You would go, why would, you might even say, why would anyone have sex?

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:08Trevor Noah?

  If you're gonna end it with, eh, why would anyone have sex? So, I thank you, Josh, because that is exactly what I'm saying, is yes, to us, it is weird now because we think tomorrow it'll be that.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:19Trevor Noah?

  But for the people of this world that I rule, it will be like that, there was no other way.

• 1:02:25Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:25Trevor Noah?

  And so I think their journey will come with different frictions, but I think a more holistic, honest and intimate experience.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  Okay, I think, I might be out of questions, but I guess my, my other thing is that, not to lean heavily on the friction forever, but I guess there are things of like, even if we're having a coffee together.

• 1:02:46Trevor Noah?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:47Speaker 02

  And you just keep checking your phone.

• 1:02:49Trevor Noah?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:50Speaker 02

  You're giving me the impression you wanna be somewhere else and you wanna do something else.

• 1:02:53Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  So then when I'm like, hey, are you late? Do you need to go, whatever? And you're like, no, no, no, I'm fine. But then you do keep doing this.

• 1:03:00Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  That, for me, I think you'll have a hard time while sex will become more honest and more like, understanding of what the experience was for both people. I wonder if you would not actually slightly increase the amount of bad sex because of just how the brain works. Even in your alternate universe where people know this is gonna happen.

• 1:03:23Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:24Speaker 02

  There's still a level of like, sex is already this, the most intimate thing you can do with a person.

• 1:03:29Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  So if they are clearly thinking about someone else or don't wanna be there, while consenting in a way.

• 1:03:37Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  Like, don't, I have stuff to do.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  You know, I think in this world, we haven't considered sex workers. And if you're a sex worker, and it's, it's your occupation, sometimes you're at your job and you're not enjoying your job.

• 1:03:50Trevor Noah?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  I'm thinking about sex workers.

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, because if you went to a restaurant, and then they're taking your order, but they're also like, this dumbass forehead. Like, that, like, that would, that would be like, oh, I don't even know if I wanna eat here anymore.

• 1:04:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I just feel like, for people that do sex work in this universe, because there's gonna be sex work, prostitution, it's the oldest job in the world.

• 1:04:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  There's no multiverse.

• 1:04:10Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  Where it doesn't, you don't have it. Um, I feel like if you're a sex worker and you know that every client is gonna have insight into what you're thinking. It makes the job harder and their work is hard enough for as it is.

• 1:04:25Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:04:26Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:27Trevor Noah?

  I'm ready for my votes.

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  Okay, so I'm actually gonna vote yes, right? I'm voting yes because I do think there are a lot of people who don't deserve to be having sex.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  And this will ruin them. This will.

• 1:04:43Trevor Noah?

  We just got Doc Josh. We really got Doc Josh today.

• 1:04:47Speaker 02

  This will take them down, right? Like I said before about us being men and us like knowing what other men are like.

• 1:04:54Trevor Noah?

  Yes.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  And I'm like, if you, if, if there was a thing that was not me as your friend to like one of my female friends, right? Who was telling on him right now, if there was something he could do that could tell on himself, maybe you'd finally see it.

• 1:05:09Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, actually, that's a good point, yeah.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  And I think that only in a world like this will that happen.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  And so, so I would say, yeah, I do consider the, the sex work part of what you're talking about. Cause then sex workers would have to become Jedi experts at like.

• 1:05:24Trevor Noah?

  But nobody can in my world.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  They can't do the Jedi thing?

• 1:05:27Trevor Noah?

  It's what's in your mind. It's what's really in your mind.

• 1:05:30Speaker 02

  Ooh, okay, okay. Uh, well then, it's worth the take down of terrible people. So I'm gonna vote yes.

• 1:05:39Trevor Noah?

  Thank you so much, Josh.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  Hmm, no surprises, I'm gonna vote no. But I actually do appreciate the problem you're trying to solve.

• 1:05:48Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  And I think if the steps before getting to this like brain thing are good steps. And I just worry like Elon Musk type could hack it or you know, it's just.

• 1:06:00Trevor Noah?

  No, there's no hacking. It's in my world. It's perfect. Unhackable.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  The idea is not even perfect, so how can your world be perfect?

• 1:06:06Trevor Noah?

  The execution is.

• 1:06:08Speaker 02

  You know what I think could have won Christiana over though? Is if your world where you do this thing is like the, um, the Total Recall thing. So you put the thing on and then you can hear the thoughts what, but it's like a thing that you have to switch on.

• 1:06:24Trevor Noah?

  No.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  Okay, Trevor, cause you could sway me to be a yes.

• 1:06:29Trevor Noah?

  If?

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  If, is there an opt in, opt out option?

• 1:06:34Trevor Noah?

  Oh, oh, that's interesting. I'm in for that.

• 1:06:37Speaker 01

  So if there's opt-in or?

• 1:06:38Trevor Noah?

  Oh, yeah, there's, I'm definitely in for that.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  Okay, I vote yes.

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  Wait, no, then I gotta vote no.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  How did I just lose you? Because every, every dude I was trying to destroy will now opt out.

• 1:06:49Trevor Noah?

  Yeah, but now.

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  Or he'll convince his girl to opt out.

• 1:06:51Trevor Noah?

  But now, wouldn't that be sus-, okay, I hear what you're saying there. But I mean, that would be suspicious. Imagine you're gonna have sex with someone and he's like, so we, uh, we both, we both, you wanna do some honest sex? And they're like, nah, I don't do that.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, what do you think condoms are, bro?

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  That's what, that's what people do at half the time. Hey, are you on birth control or whatever, right? Okay, ah, like that, like that.

• 1:07:14Trevor Noah?

  Okay, alright, so I would get a yes from you, but then I would flip to a no from you.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  Whose vote do you value more?

• 1:07:20Trevor Noah?

  Ah, the opt-in is so much fun, though.

• 1:07:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, opt-in, opt-out, I think it's great.

• 1:07:23Trevor Noah?

  The opt-in makes it so much fun.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  Trevor, let me tell you something about opt-in or opt-out. For couples, that can be the thing that makes it really risky. So like, are we gonna wear the headset tonight?

• 1:07:31Trevor Noah?

  I actually like this a lot, just like the idea of like, yo, you wanna be in my head tonight?

• 1:07:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:36Trevor Noah?

  There's something sexy in that.

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  So if it's opt-in, opt-out, absolutely. But if it's like a thing that, a feature all humans have in this science fiction.

• 1:07:43Trevor Noah?

  No, I, look, I like yours because it just brought more mischief into my world. But I actually like it being everyone and everything because I think sometimes people are tired and they don't wanna have sex and then they have sex and then there's too many things. So I still like it, no opt-in, no opt-out, no manipulation, no one convincing you to opt-in or telling you why you should opt-out. Someone's gonna make a church of opt-outers and be like, it's sinful to opt-in. There'll be a whole thing.

• 1:08:03Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm sorry, then it's a no.

• 1:08:05Trevor Noah?

  Okay.

• 1:08:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it is a yes from me.

• 1:08:07Trevor Noah?

  Well, I'll take my one vote. Uh, Josh got one vote for his If I Ruled the World. I got one vote for my If I Ruled the World. And Christiana, once again, you are the champion of If I Ruled the World. Thank you to everyone who submitted their, uh, suggestions to us, by the way. Um, for all of you who got the yeses, I envy you. And to all of you who got the no's, I feel your pain. I feel it like Josh, like Josh sent it to me in my bones. This was fun, thanks, yo.

• 1:08:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, thanks.

• 1:08:46Trevor Noah?

  What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin and Jodi Avigan. Our senior producer is Jess Hackel. Claire Slaughter is our producer. Music, mixing and mastering by Hannes Brown. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now.

• 1:09:25Speaker 06

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