Caller: “My Fiancé Thinks I’m a Sex Fiend”

📋 Weekly Rundown (your weekly marriage check-in) On today’s episode, we hear about: A woman whose intimate desires don’t align with her fiancé’s A son grappling with the effects of his dad’s financial and relational decisions A woman wondering if she should hold her homeless ex accountable Next Steps: 🔥 Microhabits for a better marriage. Download the Together app. ❤️ Join Dr. John Delony at Money & Marriage Getaway. 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards 💭 John’s Free Guided Meditation 🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. Go to Capstone Wellness to learn more. Get up to 20% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth. Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. Visit Hallow for a 90-day free trial. Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! Go to Joi + Blokes and get 50% off labs and 20% off products. Working knives for working people—go to Montana Knife Company to see what’s available now! Explore Poncho Outdoors! Get 25% off your order at Thorne. Visit Zander Insurance or call 1-800-356-4282 for your free instant quote today. Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💰 George Kamel 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Dr. John Delony?

  Brought to you by my friends at Churchill Mortgage. If you're looking to buy or refinance, check them out. I've used Churchill and they are great. Go to churchillmortgage.com.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  My fiance and I have a big mismatch in libido. Kind of at a point where I'm wondering, is this just incompatibility? Or do I need to take the next right step, as you like to say?

• 0:30Dr. John Delony?

  Where else are y'all mismatched?

• 0:33Speaker 01

  Everywhere.

• 0:39Dr. John Delony?

  What up? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. Talking about your mental and emotional health, your marriages, your relationships, whatever you got going on in your life for the last, golly, man, more than two decades now. It is a long time sitting with hurting people trying to figure out what's the next right move in your life. If you want to be on this call, I would love to have on the show, not on this call. If you want to be on the show, I'd love to have you on. Click the link in the show notes wherever you're listening to this show or watching this show, and it will send you to a form that will go right to Kelly and she will get you on the show. So go to Phoenix, Arizona and talk to Leah. What's up Leah?

• 1:20Speaker 01

  Hi, Dr. John. Thanks so much for taking my call.

• 1:22Dr. John Delony?

  You got it. What's going on?

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I had a question. I've been listening to you for years, but my question today is my fiance and I have a big mismatch in libido. It's been going on for a few years now and I'm kind of at a point where I'm wondering, is this just incompatibility? Or is it something we can work through? Or do I need to, you know, take the next right step, as you like to say?

• 1:52Dr. John Delony?

  Which would be what?

• 1:54Speaker 01

  Exiting the relationship.

• 1:55Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. Are you there?

• 2:03Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 2:04Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 2:07Dr. John Delony?

  What does, before we get into the actual libido conversation, what does, where else are y'all mismatched?

• 2:18Speaker 01

  I knew you'd ask that.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Everywhere.

• 2:24Dr. John Delony?

  Tell me about it.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  Um.

• 2:27Dr. John Delony?

  Do me a favor. Do me a favor. Do me a favor. Do me a favor. I can feel it all in you. Okay?

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:33Dr. John Delony?

  Take a big, as deep breath as you possibly can. Hold it for five, four, three, two.

• 2:47Dr. John Delony?

  We're good. Okay?

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:49Dr. John Delony?

  All right. Okay, so tell me about it. Where y'all sideways?

• 2:55Speaker 01

  What we want our future to look like, honestly. Values around religion.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  I'd love to have a family. I, you know, he's tried to get there, but he's not. He's older than me. He's 48, I'm 36. Time's ticking for me.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  And I think those are, you know, the biggest ones. Obviously, I've listened to you guys for years, you know, money, we're, you know, we're pretty aligned, but I think just how we want our future to look, I'd like to find meaning and fulfillment. And I know necessarily that doesn't need to mean I need to be a mom to do that. And I can find that in other ways, but I don't feel that he and I are building anything together.

• 3:42Dr. John Delony?

  There it is, right there.

• 3:45Dr. John Delony?

  How long have you been together?

• 3:48Speaker 01

  Um, four and a half years, but we've known each other for 11 years.

• 3:55Dr. John Delony?

  For how many years have you been pouring money in a sunk, in a sunk cost of fallacy?

• 4:03Speaker 01

  I would say two and a half years that I'm willing to admit.

• 4:08Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 4:12Dr. John Delony?

  So where you happen to be right now has nothing to do with sex? And you knew that before you called?

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  I think I've been trying to convince myself that if we could at least get on the same page with that, I could feel like I'm not so alone.

• 4:34Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 4:37Dr. John Delony?

  Which if you, if you pan back, how I heard you say that is, if I can find a way to squash part of myself yet again, then I won't be alone.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:56Dr. John Delony?

  I think you're worth more than that.

• 5:02Dr. John Delony?

  Cause there's a difference, building something together requires both people to put in both hands, right? And there's compromise, there's negotiation, there's I love you, so yeah, I'm not super into this movie, or I wasn't super feeling like having sex tonight, but I'm, every time, you're safe and every time I do it, I'm never sad that I did it. So yeah, let's do it. Like you negotiate those things over the course of a marriage.

• 5:32Dr. John Delony?

  But one of you doesn't squash themselves in order to feel like I've got value enough to sit at the table.

• 5:46Dr. John Delony?

  And I, with all my guts, do not take lightly the other side of this for you.

• 5:56Dr. John Delony?

  The, can I just be super blunt? Is that okay?

• 6:00Speaker 01

  Please, yes.

• 6:01Dr. John Delony?

  I would, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be this blunt this quickly if we were just, if I just met you and we're sitting down, doing this in person, okay?

• 6:10Dr. John Delony?

  I don't take lightly, in fact, it breaks my heart with you, the thought of you ending this and being 36 and a half years old, waking up in your home or in your apartment with that free feeling, that exhale, but also that, oh God.

• 6:32Dr. John Delony?

  Right? That untethered feeling. That's terrifying. It's horrifying.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. And, you know, I've been married once before. I know I'm going to be just fine. I'm not necessarily worried about that piece.

• 6:52Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  If I'm, if I'm like real with myself, I think it's more, you know, I saw a life with him and, you know, I've poured a lot of myself into this relationship and to try to make it work. And should I just accept a new reality and find happiness with what I have versus letting it all go to try to find this thing that I think might make me happier or might be fulfilled? And perhaps it's not even something that I'm ever going to find, if that makes sense.

• 7:32Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, I mean, there's that, there's a scarcity piece of that, that's, that's always looming, right?

• 7:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 7:40Dr. John Delony?

  Should I stay in this crappy job that's killing me slowly? That I have to be a totally different person just to walk in the door? Right? We all have to wear a uniform to work and we all have to like do those kinds of things, but like this job's killing me, but there may never be another job ever. Right? So I get the, I get the thought process there. It's almost never reality, but I get that sentiment, right?

• 8:08Dr. John Delony?

  The, the, the, the pushback I'll give you is you're not, you're not aligned on the things that make you who you are.

• 8:20Dr. John Delony?

  So what you're trying to do is you're trying to take part of an argument and make it, and try to make it apply to a part where it doesn't fit. Here's, here's what I mean in plain speak. My wife and I both have shared values.

• 8:38Dr. John Delony?

  We both value hospitality. We value some sort of relationship with the divine, which by the way, we don't believe the same stuff most of the time. We value not owing anybody any money, which means we value freedom. We value curiosity and artistic expression.

• 9:00Dr. John Delony?

  And she likes to go to bed, she needs to go to bed, quite honestly, biologically. She needs to go to bed at about nine o'clock, 8:30.

• 9:09Dr. John Delony?

  That's right when I like to wake up from a nap and spend the next six hours running around town.

• 9:17Dr. John Delony?

  And so because I'm anchored into somebody that we have the same, we both wanted kids, we both wanted a bunch of kids, we both wanted a family. Like we had those same anchor points.

• 9:29Dr. John Delony?

  And so a lot of nights I don't go out. I stay at home.

• 9:35Dr. John Delony?

  And I have to get a full night of sleep and feel great the next day. Whatever, right? Like whatever. And last night, this is a big deal for us, people might roll their eyes at this, she stayed up till 11 o'clock with me. Yesterday was a rough day for me and I was like, you know what I really want? I want to watch a couple of dumb shows and just stay up too late. And she's like, I'm in.

• 9:55Dr. John Delony?

  And so when it comes to, should I just give up this part of my life or for that part of my life? Yeah. And the small stuff and the trivial stuff and sometimes, and yeah, of course, that's part of being in a relationship with somebody.

• 10:09Dr. John Delony?

  But man, I, I would never recommend somebody give up things that truly deeply matter to them. And I can hear you already using cultural language to try to talk you out of the thing that you want the most, which is a family.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:36Dr. John Delony?

  Freya India, she's a, she's a writer. She works with Jonathan Hyatt and his team. She's a, she's a, she's a really brilliant thinker. She comes at things a different way. But she wrote an essay a few months ago that just stopped me in my tracks. And essentially she was talking about, our culture has said, the only thing you can be committed to is yourself. And if you are committed to having a family, if you're committed to a partner, if you're committed to a job, people call you stupid. The only thing you should be committed to is having multiple options. The only thing you should be committed to is, but you get what I'm saying? So I want you to anchor into this, be willing to risk the grief of it not happening,

• 11:16Dr. John Delony?

  to say, I really want a family. I want to be a mom. And I want a ride or die husband who's a great husband too.

• 11:28Dr. John Delony?

  And if you say it out loud and you etch it into stone, then there's a risk on the other side of it. It doesn't come true. And I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be fully, I'm gonna be engulfed in grief there. But I don't want to hedge that future might not happen by just slowly suffocating my way along the way in, in the present. You get what I'm saying?

• 11:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 11:47Dr. John Delony?

  So you sound like you're pretty thoughtful and you're pretty smart. In fact, you sound real smart. I play smart on the internets, but I can always tell when somebody's smarter than me, and you are. What has trapped you here?

• 12:08Dr. John Delony?

  Cause you, let me put it this way, you sound like somebody who makes very confident decisions in your day in and day out life. And almost you're as perplexed by your decision in this situation as I am. Does that ring true or no?

• 12:22Speaker 01

  Yes, 100%. Um, I think part of it is, um, my mid twenties when I met him, we used to work together. I was madly in love with him. He was, you know, in his late thirties at that time. He wanted nothing to do with me. As far as relationally, but we did have a hookup relationship that went on for about two years. And then when I turned 28, I realized he wasn't going to give me what I wanted and I ended it. And then that's when I found my first husband and got married and that ended very quickly. And I think it's the, I think it's the 25 year old me that had this dream of the life that I saw with him.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  That I thought I finally was gonna have. And I don't know, I think I'm still holding on that part of me saying, you're the one who really wanted this with him. Now you have him and you're still unhappy.

• 13:21Dr. John Delony?

  But you don't have him. You don't have him. You have that. I, I feel like I give this recommendation all the time. I want you, when we get off, not right when we get off, but sometime soon. I want you to write 25 year old you a letter, a handwritten letter.

• 13:40Dr. John Delony?

  And let that girl off the hook.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:45Dr. John Delony?

  Because she's, her shadow is cast over the course of your life.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:50Dr. John Delony?

  The free, fun, beautiful, smart, met this older guy who's kind of like seen the world and he's exciting. And he's just dangling carrots out there, but can't quite, like, man, that's 25, right?

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:07Dr. John Delony?

  And here you are at 36, still chasing that smoke and that's all it is, is smoke.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  100%.

• 14:17Dr. John Delony?

  Has this guy lied to you? Has he changed his story on you? Has he promised you one thing and then given you another? Or has he been pretty consistent since you were young? This is kind of who I am, man.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, he's definitely been pretty consistent. I would, I, I think that when we reconnected about five years ago, he was like very apologetic and, you know, said that he, he wants to give this like a real go. And, but he was always pretty upfront that he was not looking to have a family. And right out of my divorce, I wasn't either. But I think, you know, I think how women are naturally wired. You are with a guy and he truly is very sweet to me, very thoughtful. He's not some like a-hole. I don't know if I can swear, but, um, you know, all the things my ex-husband wasn't, he is. And you know, that's always kind of the mistake we make is you get out of one relationship.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  You were starved for one thing, the next guy's got it and you forget about everything else that matters. Um, but about two years ago I came to him and I said, things have changed for me. Like I don't see my life without a family and it's because of you. Like I think you'd be a wonderful father and you're the kind of person I would want to raise a family with. And he said he needed some time to get there and I, I do believe that he genuinely has been trying to. He's typically not the kind of person who's gonna say one thing and then behind my back, no. Thinking there's no way I'm gonna get there. Um, but I just don't think he can get there. And I think I've been waiting too long.

• 15:49Dr. John Delony?

  Let's do a weird exercise. If you had to, and this might be hard, if there was a Venn diagram of your husband, your ex and this guy.

• 16:02Dr. John Delony?

  Where do they overlap in the middle?

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Um, very much, like, not a, not a go-getter in their personal life, if that makes sense. Like at work, he's incredibly successful.

• 16:26Dr. John Delony?

  Your ex was too?

• 16:29Speaker 01

  My ex at work was honestly the same at work as outside of work, not a go-getter.

• 16:35Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  I was always the one driving everything. Like we need to get out of debt. We need to do this. I want a family. Like, you know, it was always me. And I do see that with him too, is if, if I'm not the one bringing things up, if I'm not the one pushing for things, he's very happy to just go to work, come home, watch World Cup, scroll X, golf and do that every day.

• 16:56Dr. John Delony?

  Okay, so is it that you strangely married or strangely dating the exact same guy, just with different clothes and a different, and a different world?

• 17:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:07Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. That light bulb should resonate deeply with you.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  It does.

• 17:18Dr. John Delony?

  And I know that sucks.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:23Dr. John Delony?

  And the, the only, I feel like the only thing useful I could tell you right now is the temptation would be to look back on the last five years and say you wasted them. I don't think you did.

• 17:37Dr. John Delony?

  If at 36, your eyes are opened and you can see the world as it truly is, like you unplug yourself from the matrix. And you're like, oh, this is, this is a person that I'm drawn to. Maybe it's how my dad was, maybe it's how my mom was. Maybe it's the, like, it's the natural iteration of the energy I bring to a relationship. I can see now. And I can also see that this is not what I want moving forward. So I'm gonna have to practice relationship in a different way.

• 18:07Dr. John Delony?

  And it's gonna, it might feel uncomfortable at first. It might even feel not attractive at first. But there's something else I'm looking for, which is X, Y, or Z. If you can look back at 36 and say, my eyes are open. I wish 25 year old me had got it. But not many of us were thinking with our heads straight when we were 25, right?

• 18:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:29Dr. John Delony?

  I, I, I can't tell you what to do next.

• 18:33Dr. John Delony?

  I could tell you, I think you're worth living a whole life where somebody's aligned with you and their values. And they are putting as much of themself on the table as you are.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:49Dr. John Delony?

  I think you're worth that.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 18:55Dr. John Delony?

  And strangely, I think, I mean, not strangely, I think he's worth that too. I think he's been pretty clear.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 19:02Dr. John Delony?

  And that's, it sounds like it stinks for both of you.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  Indeed.

• 19:09Dr. John Delony?

  And also I think part of being in a relationship, especially long-term, is sometimes people's values change. And part of the relationship is navigating those changes together. I think, I think culture would say, then it's just over, right? It's run its course or whatever stupid line it, we get from Hollywood. But I, I, I think part of changing together is, hey, I, I initially didn't want kids. I was fully aligned with you. And over the last two years, like the way you said that was so poetic, it was beautiful. Watching you makes me want to change my life with you. Like you having the courage to say that in that way, it's amazing.

• 19:54Dr. John Delony?

  And part of being in a marriage is being like, okay, the person I'm with is now different. I gotta get to know them. I gotta get to know myself. I gotta reimagine our world together. And, but the whole thing is we're doing this thing together.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I've just felt very alone for a long time.

• 20:13Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah. Probably for a long, long, long time. Not just two and a half years, probably for a long, long time, right?

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 20:22Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 20:24Dr. John Delony?

  You're worth not being alone anymore.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Thanks, Dr. John.

• 20:31Dr. John Delony?

  Thanks for the call. I wish I had some, uh, I wish I could like then like throw fireworks or confetti or something. Um, this is one of those hard truth calls. Thanks for being honest and for being brave. Appreciate you calling. Um, I think your bravery is gonna help a lot of people because I hear this, I have this conversation behind closed doors a lot. Thank you so much for the call. All right, we come back. A man asks how to convince his dad he's being scammed by an online romance without pushing him away. We'll be right back.

• 21:04Dr. John Delony?

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• 21:49Dr. John Delony?

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• 22:29Dr. John Delony?

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• 23:13Dr. John Delony?

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• 23:38Dr. John Delony?

  All right, let's roll out to San Francisco, California, one of the most beautiful places in the United States, and talk to Michael. Hey, Michael, what's up?

• 23:47Speaker 02

  Dr. John, doing well today. Uh, grateful for the work that you do and really appreciate getting to talk to you today.

• 23:53Dr. John Delony?

  Man, thank you so much for calling. Appreciate you, dude. What's going on?

• 23:57Speaker 02

  So, uh, my father is in his 60s, and for about three years, he believes that he's been in an online romance, online relationship with a model in their twenties and, uh,

• 24:14Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, no. Bro, this is happening all over the country.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's rough.

• 24:23Dr. John Delony?

  How much is he in financially?

• 24:25Speaker 02

  Uh, he won't disclose that.

• 24:28Dr. John Delony?

  I guarantee you it's a lot.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:31Dr. John Delony?

  Three years is a long time for them to hang on. That means they're getting paid handsomely.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:36Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, my gosh, dude, I'm so sorry.

• 24:39Speaker 02

  I appreciate it.

• 24:40Dr. John Delony?

  Never, never met this person, obviously, face to face?

• 24:44Speaker 02

  No, not at all. Um, yeah, he divorced my mother after 43 years over it, um, over this new relationship that he thinks he has.

• 24:53Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, oh, oh, he got divorced over an, oh, wow.

• 24:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:59Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. So now, now there's a super sunk cost fallacy. Now this thing has to work because he blew his whole life up for it, too.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:09Dr. John Delony?

  This isn't just like a lonely 70-year-old who's like, whose heartstrings are getting tugged. This is a guy who blew his whole life to smithereens for something, and so this has to be right.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. And, uh, getting him to, to talk about it is, is pulling teeth. I mean, for the first year, he, he wouldn't talk about it. I knew that something was going on, and he just would say, hey, I'm not ready to talk about that yet. I put up, I established with him, hey, I'm not, you know, I don't want to speak to you until you're ready to be honest and talk about things with me. Um, finally got him to talk about it last year, and I, I approached it with curiosity, let him tell me all about this relationship.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  And afterwards, I said, I said, Dad, I think that you're being scammed, uh, out of your money. I don't think that this person is real, and tried to walk through that with him. And, um, he said, well, let me, you know, let me think about that. And then every time after that, I tried to broach the subject, uh, he just, uh, you know, put a, put a barrier up and said, no, I'm not willing to talk about this with you anymore. Um, he, he blocked my number, cut me off on social media, that type of stuff. Uh, and so, uh, my, my older sister is, lives in the same area as he, and we're both aligned on, on what's going

• 26:31Speaker 02

  on, but it's just incredibly hard. And I, I've been talking to my therapist for over a year about this, and I recognize like how much I can't control around this situation. Uh, but it's still hard every single day feeling like, like someone should be able to save this situation, to be able to rescue this, you know, person or whatever.

• 26:52Dr. John Delony?

  So y'all are not in contact at all with each other anymore? He's cut you off?

• 26:57Speaker 02

  We have been in contact over the last couple of months, um, primarily just because I'm willing to not, uh, talk about the subject anymore, right? So, and that was, yeah.

• 27:09Dr. John Delony?

  What is, um, this is like a strange question. What's his financial position?

• 27:15Dr. John Delony?

  Is he well off, or is he gonna be homeless at the end of this deal?

• 27:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's not, he's not well off. Uh, yeah, like, my family, my folks are public school teachers. Um, yeah, so, uh, that's what it is.

• 27:32Dr. John Delony?

  So, I, I don't have a great answer for you. Uh, your therapist has given you a great therapy answer. You can control what you can control, right? Um, and it's hard, like, that's the reality, and it's hard when you're watching a slow-moving train wreck, and you know how this ends. It ends with him either in a homeless shelter or living with you.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Right.

• 27:53Dr. John Delony?

  Or maybe your sister, right? That's how this ends. You know that. You know that how the story wraps up. And not only that, it will be a shamed shell of a, of a, of the man you used to know as your dad. Right? So you can see that coming. So I get the control, you can control, that's the right therapeutic answer. I get it. And I'm gonna tell you what I would do in my life. Okay? This is one of those moments, I would get on an airplane with some, the statistics that show the billions of dollars that these online scam romances are causing, and I would put it in front of him and say, I know you're a smart man, and I also know you're heartbroken, and I'm watching my dad go away. And here's

• 28:33Dr. John Delony?

  why I would do that. I would need to look myself in the mirror and know I went and climbed into the ring and took the biggest swing I could. We're not talking over social media, we're not talking over phone, we're not talking over text. I flew to your house and sat in your living room because I love you that much. Almost think of it like, uh, like a, like an addiction intervention.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 28:57Dr. John Delony?

  I'm willing to burn our relationship to the ground in order to save your life.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have, yeah, I have felt that way. Um, the first time I got him to talk to me about it, I, I felt that way. I felt like this is it, you know, like I felt, it felt like a, very much like an intervention. And, um, I, I absolutely agree with you. That's, that's how I feel every single day. Um,

• 29:20Dr. John Delony?

  So, so, and you may even know 99.99% chance he's gonna tell you to get out of my house.

• 29:29Dr. John Delony?

  But here's the question I always ask myself in these, these, these basically winless situations. What kind of man do I want to show up as in this moment? Right? Yesterday, I was driving home from the office, and I was weaving through a neighborhood, and there's just a kind of a janky turn, and I was driving my truck through there. I had a green light. Well, this older guy who was driving, who I instantly made up a million stories about him, he wasn't paying attention, and he laid on the horn on me, and I just had a rough day yesterday. And dude, I was like old John, like back in my twenties. I almost came unglued.

• 30:12Dr. John Delony?

  And it was this weird, like, I started to slow down, like I'm gonna back my car, like, it was like old school John. And it was that quick question, who are you gonna be right now? And you grip the wheel a little tighter, then you let go, and you just drive on home. And so, like, the question I would ask you is, the man, the story that you tell yourself about the man you are, is that a guy that would go down swinging for those he loves? Probably yes. Or you wouldn't be calling me, right?

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:45Dr. John Delony?

  And so, what can I do in that moment? I'm gonna walk and knock on your door and say, I love you enough to say, I'm scared for you. And if he says, get out, I don't love you, say, okay, when this thing goes, falls apart, me and sister have already talked, you can live with one. I go ahead and tell him, we already know the plan. And that, maybe that will be the, oh, I'm gonna end up living in my son's basement because I'll have nowhere to go.

• 31:15Dr. John Delony?

  But at the end of the day, you're, I mean, the, the truth about what your therapist told you is right.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:21Dr. John Delony?

  It's, I, I cannot tell you how many calls I've taken on the Ramsey Show, the other show that I, that I co-host of kids just watching their parents get scammed out of just untold millions and billions of dollars.

• 31:39Dr. John Delony?

  And they're, they're just having to watch it happen. And unless there's, um, you know, unless they are incompetent and a judge will take away their civil rights, you said, you just gotta watch it happen. And it's, it's, it's one of the most gross heartbreaking things. I mean, I guess if you could find out what her, this, this fake person's contact info, you could turn over to the authorities, maybe they could, I don't know, but who knows, man?

• 32:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, I appreciate that advice.

• 32:08Dr. John Delony?

  I'm just telling you, that's, this is one of those weird situations. I'm just telling you what I would do if it was me. And I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm just telling you, my impulse would be, I'm gonna go knock on your door.

• 32:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's, uh, that's always been my impulse. Uh, and it's why we haven't spoken, you know, a lot over the last couple of years because I've been the person who has said, we gotta face this, we gotta talk about this.

• 32:32Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah. And my fear for your dad is like these, these, um, fake online romances have a, um, is this person's not in the States, are they?

• 32:44Speaker 02

  No.

• 32:45Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, of course. So the, these have a, an arc to them. And the fact that it's gone on for three years tells me, it makes me concerned he signed his pension over. It makes me concerned he's taken out life insurance policies. It's made me concerned because they're not gonna hang around for three years on social security and a, and a, and a pittance of a, you know, a public school teacher's retirement.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:13Dr. John Delony?

  Monthly deposit, right? That means there's, there's something else happening. Whether he's taken out massive loans. Um, I've heard of second mortgages. I've heard of any, anything you can imagine. I've heard of people cashing things out and taking in extreme amounts of debt in order to fund these heartbreaking scam romances.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's bad. Um, and it's hard to tell. He won't, he won't give us a number on how much he spent with his, his 95-year-old mother is alive and, um, you know, it's hard to think about like,

• 33:49Dr. John Delony?

  Is he burning through her?

• 33:50Speaker 02

  What he, right, exactly. Um, and so.

• 33:54Dr. John Delony?

  You, you could probably find out if there was a second mortgage on his home or on your 95-year-old grandmother's home. You could probably find that out.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  I've, uh, I've, I've been open with her and that, that was a part of a barrier when he told me we didn't wanna talk about it anymore. I said, well, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna tell every single family member. Um, and so I told her and, and she had some suspicions anyway. Uh, so she's, she's aware. We, we, we talk all the time and, um, so I try to be diligent in that way, but.

• 34:26Dr. John Delony?

  Well, if she would share her social security number with you, you could run a credit report on you and see if he's pulled out loans or mortgages or credit cards in her name with her number.

• 34:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a great point.

• 34:37Dr. John Delony?

  Unfortunately, happens all the time.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 34:39Dr. John Delony?

  And I would probably put a block on yours and your mother's and your sister's. I mean, they'll have to do it their own because they're adults, but I would put a hold on all of our credit reports. That way somebody with our social security number can't open a new credit line without our permission.

• 34:57Speaker 02

  That's great advice.

• 34:59Dr. John Delony?

  But man.

• 35:02Dr. John Delony?

  Hate this for you, dude. I hate it.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 35:05Dr. John Delony?

  Thanks for having the courage to call, man. This is happening everywhere, all over the country and aging parents are just getting sucked down the rabbit hole of AI and scams and internet conspiracy. It's just heartbreaking to watch and there's not a lot anybody can do. It's, um, it's a powerless feeling.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's heartbreaking.

• 35:27Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah. But hey, I would say this, your old man's, um, really fortunate to have a son who loves him like you do and a son who's become a, a strong, good man on his own. I'm proud of you, dude.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 35:41Dr. John Delony?

  It's a good move. So man, I hope anything I said is, helps in any way. Um, but if that was my dad, that's where I would be. And, um, I wish you guys the best. Thanks for the call, my brother. We come back, a woman asks how to hold her ex accountable and still do what's best for her son. We'll be right back.

• 36:03Dr. John Delony?

  This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Alright, so my friends at BetterHelp just released their annual State of Stigma Report, which is a giant report full of tons of data about the mental and emotional state of many folks across the world. And listen, it looks at data points. It looks at why people avoid getting help for their mental health. And here's a data point that stood out when I read it. More than three out of four Americans reported anxiety or depression symptoms in the previous two weeks. If that's you and you're carrying stress, anxiety symptoms, or depression symptoms, listen, just talking with someone can help more than you realize. For that, I recommend BetterHelp. BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that matches you with one of their 30,000-plus licensed therapists

• 36:48Dr. John Delony?

  based on your goals and preferences. It's easy and it's super convenient. You can message your therapist and schedule sessions right in the platform. And if the first therapist you're matched with isn't the right fit, you can switch at any time for no extra cost. Listen, don't let stigma stand in the way of you getting the help you need. Visit betterhelp.com/doloney and get 10% off. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash doloney.

• 37:16Dr. John Delony?

  Alright, let's roll out to Oklahoma City and talk to Sue. What's up, Sue?

• 37:21Speaker 03

  Um, oh goodness, so this, there's a lot to this, but I'm gonna keep it brief. So I am a 41-year-old mom, single mom of a 10-year-old. Um, and my ex-husband is, he does not share really any responsibility whatsoever. Um, I am the sole provider for my son. Thankfully I have a good job and so I'm able to provide.

• 37:51Dr. John Delony?

  No child support, no visitation, no nothing?

• 37:54Speaker 03

  Nothing. Um, our custody agreement does say from a couple of years ago, it, it does say that we have 50/50 custody. That hasn't been the case. Um, so several years ago, he got evicted for not paying his rent and has been homeless ever since. So that's why I'm the full-time caretaker. Um, and so.

• 38:18Dr. John Delony?

  Does he struggle with addiction?

• 38:20Speaker 03

  You know, I, I think it's, there's a component of mental illness here.

• 38:26Dr. John Delony?

  Mental illness, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like true mental illness, not Instagram mental illness, but true, yeah, yeah. Psychiatric disorders, okay.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, he, um, part of the reason we got married or got divorced was because he refused to work. So there's always these like big ideas, delusions of, you know, I'm gonna create this business and then, you know, it changes day by day and it just never materializes. So, um, I think there may be some marijuana addiction. Um, and that's, I think, self-medicating, but.

• 38:57Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, probably, probably that's trying to take the edge off of whatever's going on in his heart and mind and body. Yeah. Okay.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  Right. Yeah. So it's kind of a mess, but, um, as my son gets older, um, you know, it gets harder and harder financially, you know, he's wanting this, wanting that and having, you know, the responsibilities of Christmases and birthdays and just making sure my son doesn't go without, right? Um, because he only has one parent. So I feel more and more like I want to pursue some sort of, um, legal action, you know, to keep him accountable for his responsibility as a father. Um, I just, every time I go to pull the trigger, I have this like guilt, um, and anxiety that keeps me

• 39:48Speaker 03

  from moving forward. Um,

• 39:52Speaker 03

  and I, I think a lot of it goes back to like my childhood and my experience, um, being from a broken family. But, um, I also, with the mental health component, I just, and knowing that he's homeless, it's just, how do you like?

• 40:08Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, like for what? Yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 03

  I don't have a lot of hope that, I mean, I feel like he's gonna get thrown in jail essentially.

• 40:13Dr. John Delony?

  Sure. Um, and maybe that's the greatest thing for him. Maybe he can get the, the medical care he finally needs, but, um.

• 40:24Dr. John Delony?

  A couple of things here. One, I do think you need to go refile and make sure in writing, you have 100% sole custody.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:33Dr. John Delony?

  Having that still floating 50/50 out there is not wise.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, I agree.

• 40:40Dr. John Delony?

  Especially if he picks up some other woman who's got some semblance of being put together, who then wants to suddenly get her hands on your money somehow, or somehow thinks he can, right? Like, it may not even be him, it may be another person he meets down the road.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Right.

• 40:56Dr. John Delony?

  And so, that's, that's component one. I would clear that out.

• 41:00Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 41:00Dr. John Delony?

  Like, this is my kid and my kid only.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:04Dr. John Delony?

  The second piece of it is, um, yes, you can go hire an attorney, but the question I guess for what?

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Right.

• 41:14Dr. John Delony?

  Cause you can't get 20% or half of nothing.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  Right.

• 41:19Dr. John Delony?

  Right? And so, it's, it's, you backing up to that, like, you feel frustrated that you can't give your kid the world, and I think that's relative. I think every parent feels that, really regardless of where they are, right? My kid might want this, and I want this. Some of that is you just owning, I'm a good parent, and just because my kid doesn't have this video game box, or this other pair of shoes, or this, or this, or this, I'm still doing the best I can, and I'm raising a happy kid that knows for a fact that their, that his mom loves him to the moon and back.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:55Dr. John Delony?

  And has a honest picture that dad was really sick, and dad's had a special sick that was in his mind.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  I, two years ago, um, met with an attorney, paid a retainer, and have documents drawn up.

• 42:14Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  Um, and so, I've gone that far, but, um, you know, at the time, he was homeless, and, um, you know, how do you serve someone who doesn't have a home?

• 42:26Dr. John Delony?

  And for what? Like, you're not gonna, you're not gonna get child support for him. They're not even, they're not even housing themselves, much less their child, right?

• 42:34Speaker 03

  Exactly. Well, this was for custody.

• 42:36Dr. John Delony?

  Oh, for custody, okay, okay.

• 42:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:40Dr. John Delony?

  And there may be a, there, depending on what state you're in, there may be a, like,

• 42:50Dr. John Delony?

  a default judgment, right?

• 42:53Dr. John Delony?

  Or a default new arrangement, a new default setting, uh, default arrangement in your, in your divorce. Um, let me, let me address this idea of guilt, okay? And I learned this from Becky Kennedy, she's a psychologist, uh, she works with kids up in, in, in New York. She gave me a completely new reframe of guilt, and it was pretty liberating for me, okay? Guilt is a good and right and natural psychosocial biological response, which is a dorky way of saying, whenever you do something that violates your values, who you say you are,

• 43:33Dr. John Delony?

  your body feels it, and it should, it's right. So I would say guilt is a good thing.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:39Dr. John Delony?

  It helps keep ourselves in line with our own values, which helps us keep ourselves aligned with our community, which keeps us all alive. It's a, guilt is a good thing. And so, whenever you feel guilty about having to hold somebody accountable, or guilty by, because of the way somebody else is responding, always go back and ask yourself, do I feel,

• 44:04Dr. John Delony?

  do I believe that parents should be responsible for their kids? Yes. Do I believe even in divorce, that both parents should work together with time, with, with energy, and with financial resources to make sure the kid, our kid, has the best chance at success? Absolutely. And so, what you're doing is not a violation of your core values.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  Right.

• 44:30Dr. John Delony?

  Or, let's get deeper, back to your childhood.

• 44:34Dr. John Delony?

  Is it my job to make sure everybody is okay, except for me? Is it my job to make sure everybody feels okay?

• 44:43Speaker 03

  I feel like I've, that's who I've become, that's who I was as a child.

• 44:47Dr. John Delony?

  That's right.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  But...

• 44:48Dr. John Delony?

  But is that right?

• 44:48Speaker 03

  But it's not.

• 44:49Dr. John Delony?

  No.

• 44:49Speaker 03

  No.

• 44:50Dr. John Delony?

  And so, what we're trying to do is, we're trying to pick somebody else's feelings out of their chest, and hold them as close to our own, as though they were ours.

• 45:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 45:03Dr. John Delony?

  And we're trying to manage somebody else's bad feelings.

• 45:07Dr. John Delony?

  And they don't even know we're doing it.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 45:11Dr. John Delony?

  And so, that's not guilt.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 45:16Dr. John Delony?

  That's either codependency, that is either, I might go throw a whole bunch of nerdy, uh, counselor words at you, but at the end of the day, what you're feeling isn't guilt, it's probably anger, and it's probably powerlessness, and it's probably you're running the same script you had to run as a little girl. It's probably a whole bunch of things, but it's not guilt.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:37Dr. John Delony?

  Cause you didn't do anything wrong here.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I don't know if part of it is, I was the one who wanted the divorce, and I don't know if I feel, you know, that I blew up our family, even though I, I did act takes two, um, but yeah, I mean, definitely, I agree on the custody thing that's been on my radar the past couple of months. I've been really stressed about what happens with him, for my son, if something happens to me, right?

• 46:08Dr. John Delony?

  There you go. That's a huge...

• 46:10Speaker 03

  His other parent can't even keep his cellphone on, you know what I mean? So he's, he's not even in contact.

• 46:16Dr. John Delony?

  If you leave money to your kid in a will, or a life insurance policy.

• 46:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 46:21Dr. John Delony?

  Right? Or a college fund. Or, this happened when I was working at universities, um, parents would take out student loans in their kid's name.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:31Dr. John Delony?

  And just spend them on god knows what.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:35Dr. John Delony?

  Right? That happened all the time. And so, all I have to say is, yeah, that, that getting him out of your child's life for good is awesome.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, okay.

• 46:46Dr. John Delony?

  And don't mix, don't, don't conflate heartbreak and sadness.

• 46:55Dr. John Delony?

  Like, let's just think of your kid. That sucks to be him.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I think I, I wanted so badly for him to have both parents in his life, because I didn't, I didn't. And I think, um, I just, I feel like I failed my son, you know?

• 47:12Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, totally.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  So, it's hard, but I, I hear ya. I think I know this, I just needed a, a push to, to move forward with it.

• 47:22Dr. John Delony?

  If it was me, and this isn't a therapeutic answer, this is, I'm just telling you what I would do. If it was me, I would definitely file for sole custody.

• 47:35Dr. John Delony?

  And I would close that loop up.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:37Dr. John Delony?

  And if I can't find him, or there's a half-hearted effort to serve him, and he's not around, like, then I'd file a petition with the court, and use the fancy court language, and I would get that wrapped up.

• 47:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:51Dr. John Delony?

  I probably, and not probably, I wouldn't chase child support.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:57Dr. John Delony?

  Not at this point. If suddenly he gets medicated, and gets cleaned up, and goes to recovery, and he's providing for himself, like, he's not living on the street, then yes, he needs to play a financial role, but he, he's not in a place psychologically, or health-wise, or emotionally, to even take care of himself.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:16Dr. John Delony?

  So that, that would be me throwing good money down the drain, really.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, fair.

• 48:21Dr. John Delony?

  And then there is a reckoning for you, which is, I had this picture of what my kid's life was gonna look like, and it doesn't look like that anymore, and you haven't reset the picture.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:34Dr. John Delony?

  You keep going back and looking at the old one that you wanted it to be, and judging the present against that old picture you drew.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:42Dr. John Delony?

  That picture's burned, it's ash.

• 48:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:45Dr. John Delony?

  So now, what he's waiting for you to do, what you're waiting for you to do, is paint a new picture of what it's gonna look like. It's gonna be me and you, kid.

• 48:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:53Dr. John Delony?

  And there will not be another kid on the planet as loved like you are.

• 48:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:58Dr. John Delony?

  And by the way, I can't afford those shoes. You get to learn the realities of money, and it sucks.

• 49:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

• 49:06Dr. John Delony?

  And even if you have a good job being a single parent, right now, is the worst.

• 49:13Dr. John Delony?

  It's a nightmare, right?

• 49:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:16Dr. John Delony?

  There's just no way around it. Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I probably lean too far the other way to make sure that, you know what I mean, he never wants for anything, and so...

• 49:29Dr. John Delony?

  He needs to want, he needs to want for things. That's, that's you letting him go in the weight room of life, and start lifting weights, light weights.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:36Dr. John Delony?

  He's not gonna want for food, but he's gonna want for Jordans, right? And that's gonna, that's gonna be the muscles he lifts to deal with the hard, cruel world.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:47Dr. John Delony?

  And you're gonna be right there with him, cause you love him. He'll never have to do that alone. All right? How old is he?

• 49:55Speaker 03

  He's 10.

• 49:55Dr. John Delony?

  10?

• 49:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:57Dr. John Delony?

  He... I'd give him till sixth grade. Sixth grade, at a very cursory level, he can start knowing what things cost around the house.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  That'll be nice.

• 50:11Dr. John Delony?

  Not that it's his responsibility.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  No, but just awareness, right?

• 50:16Dr. John Delony?

  But the awareness, like, hey, this, here's what the light bill costs every month to turn on. Oh my goodness, here's what the water bill costs.

• 50:23Dr. John Delony?

  And here's how we're gonna work together. And then when we go to the grocery store, we have $120. You and I are gonna do shopping for 120 bucks. Can we do it? Oh yeah. All right, let's do it. And we're gonna, he's gonna learn math and addition skills at the same time, right? But I'm gonna start to bring him into the realities of this. He's, I'm never gonna give it to him to carry, right? I don't ever want a kid being like, I, I don't wanna tell my mom that my shoes are too small, because like, I don't want, they don't need to carry that burden. But giving them a little bit of sense of reality of how the world works, yeah, that's a good thing. That's a good thing. Uh, my, my kids still don't know, I don't tell them what our take-home salary is, but man, they participate in what things cost, and how we budget for things,

• 51:08Dr. John Delony?

  and how we're gonna put this purchase off for two months, and here's how much your school, like, stuff, like, yeah, we're pretty open about that stuff, cause I want my kids to be wide-eyed about how the world works. Thanks for the call, sister. I hate this has happened to you, but you're an honorable, good woman, and, um, your little boy's lucky to have you as a mom. We'll be right back.

• 51:31Dr. John Delony?

  What's up? Dr. John Deloney here. When was the last time you and your spouse got away? Just the two of you, no kids, no work, no distractions, just time to reconnect? Most couples can't remember. That's why Rachel Cruz and I created the Money in Marriage Getaway. It's three days in Nashville to laugh together, learn and grow with your spouse. We have a weekend on sale right now, October 22nd through 24th, 2026. Get your tickets at ramsaysolutions.com/events or by clicking the link in the show notes. All right, we're back. Kelly, it looked like during one of the breaks, Alex spilled Coke all over his keyboard or whatever.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Didn't happen.

• 52:15Dr. John Delony?

  What are you doing back there?

• 52:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, he did.

• 52:18Speaker 04

  It was awful.

• 52:20Dr. John Delony?

  What was it?

• 52:21Speaker 04

  Pepsi?

• 52:22Speaker 05

  And it wasn't even Coke, it was Pepsi.

• 52:24Dr. John Delony?

  Get out.

• 52:25Speaker 04

  I would have gotten-

• 52:26Dr. John Delony?

  Get in your square Kia and drive home.

• 52:28Speaker 04

  If there was Coke available, I would have- I would have gotten Coke, but there was no Coke available.

• 52:31Dr. John Delony?

  I know, then like an adult, you abstain. You just don't have any then.

• 52:35Speaker 04

  That's fair. My bad.

• 52:38Dr. John Delony?

  Spilled Pepsi.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  I also have an Android.

• 52:41Dr. John Delony?

  What kind of hiring practices do we have here? If a guy rolls up holding a Pepsi and an Android in the square Kia, what are we doing?

• 52:48Speaker 05

  I would like that pointed out.

• 52:51Speaker 04

  I just showed up. No one actually hired me. I just showed up and they-

• 52:53Dr. John Delony?

  I think you are. You're like Kramer. You're just here. You're just like, hey, guys.

• 53:01Dr. John Delony?

  Just-

• 53:01Speaker 04

  Doesn't even get paid. He's just volunteering.

• 53:03Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, just sipping from your Pepsi, doing donuts in the parking lot in your square Kia, listening to your house music. What music do you like?

• 53:12Speaker 04

  I'd say like punk rock.

• 53:14Dr. John Delony?

  Name one band.

• 53:15Speaker 04

  Okay, pop punk, I guess. More like Panic at the Disco. I like that kind of stuff.

• 53:19Dr. John Delony?

  You're fired. Get out.

• 53:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know. I knew that was coming.

• 53:21Dr. John Delony?

  Panic at the-

• 53:23Dr. John Delony?

  That's not punk rock.

• 53:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know. It's pop punk.

• 53:25Dr. John Delony?

  It's not even that. That is elevator music for sad kids.

• 53:30Speaker 04

  The old stuff was- The old stuff was- He's right. The OG album was emo.

• 53:37Dr. John Delony?

  Fair.

• 53:38Speaker 04

  The new stuff is just sugary pop. Yeah, I like the old stuff.

• 53:42Dr. John Delony?

  Kelly, am I the problem? Let's-

• 53:48Speaker 05

  Kind of hard to move on from this, but here we go.

• 53:50Dr. John Delony?

  I'm just bathed in disappointment right now. I can see it on YouTube.

• 53:56Dr. John Delony?

  We don't share a lot, but I think we share disdain for that guy.

• 54:03Speaker 05

  You know, but he has a love of horror movies that I very much appreciate. I'm gonna say that because I do. Because we share that.

• 54:12Dr. John Delony?

  Bro, did you see Obsession?

• 54:15Dr. John Delony?

  What'd you think?

• 54:16Speaker 04

  It was incredible.

• 54:17Dr. John Delony?

  Out of 10, how many?

• 54:18Speaker 04

  Oh, it's probably nine. Nine out of 10. It's really good. It's up there.

• 54:22Dr. John Delony?

  It's extraordinary.

• 54:24Speaker 05

  I agree. I loved it. I saw it twice.

• 54:27Dr. John Delony?

  I feel like it's really, um...

• 54:31Dr. John Delony?

  If the movie was reversed, I feel like that's what we all experience around you.

• 54:39Speaker 05

  Wait, like, how?

• 54:41Dr. John Delony?

  Like, I think deep down, you're really nice. But on the outside-

• 54:45Speaker 05

  I'm nice, damn it!

• 54:46Dr. John Delony?

  A little murdery. Yeah, see? I think you're like the Obsession character, just inside out. Like where she's like playing nice, but inside not- Yeah. I just kept watching that movie being like, this feels like Kelly and I don't know why. Like that. Not in a bad way.

• 55:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, sure, I'll find the compliment of that. I think we just end today's show. Let's just be done.

• 55:09Dr. John Delony?

  Am I the problem? Go for it.

• 55:10Speaker 05

  You are. Let's just end today's show.

• 55:11Dr. John Delony?

  Why?

• 55:12Speaker 05

  I think we're just done. Because I, you know, I think we're good. No one's listening anymore.

• 55:17Dr. John Delony?

  That's probably fair.

• 55:19Dr. John Delony?

  Love you guys. Bye.