MBMBaM 788: Blame It On the Full Beaver Supermoon

If we're a little bit off this week, it's not because our therapist is a vampire or that our favorite Krispy Kreme donut was retired. It's because of a big round orb in the sky that's slightly closer than usual . . . and also because our cat pissed on all our capes. Suggested talking points: Derrick Saving Time, Too Much Dad Gusto, Mez Me Bro, 16 Permanent Doughboys Native American Aid: https://nativepartnership.org/naa/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

• 1:16Griffin McElroy?

  What I

• 1:16Travis McElroy?

  Never said it like that before.

• 1:17Griffin McElroy?

  That's crazy.

• 1:18Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, no, that's great. I didn't like it.

• 1:21Travis McElroy?

  What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis, the big dog, Wolf Wolf, Zoom Vroom, McElroy.

• 1:26Griffin McElroy?

  Did you say Zoom Vroom?

• 1:27Travis McElroy?

  I did.

• 1:28Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, what's up, Trav Nation? It's Griffin.

• 1:30Travis McElroy?

  I own it.

• 1:31Griffin McElroy?

  God, the vibe is, the vibes are already so strange, don't you guys think? A Halloween movie.

• 1:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, blame it. Blame it on the full Beaver Superman.

• 1:39Griffin McElroy?

  I would love to blame it on the full Beaver Superman trap because you do keep saying that and

• 1:44Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, aloud.

• 1:45Griffin McElroy?

  Out loud a lot and you do keep blaming stuff on it like you were

• 1:48Travis McElroy?

  Well, I slept bad. I slept bad last night. Didn't get as much sleep as I would have liked.

• 1:52Griffin McElroy?

  And you were like 10 minutes late for this recording. Was that the

• 1:54Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:55Griffin McElroy?

  It's morning.

• 1:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. And I told my friend about it and she said blame it on the super moon. And I've decided to do that.

• 2:04Travis McElroy?

  On everything.

• 2:05Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. What it, can you tell me, I guess, to start out before you start, before I started signing blame to stuff, because I'm pretty good at that.

• 2:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:14Griffin McElroy?

  What's a full be-

• 2:15Travis McElroy?

  He's the youngest child, I mean.

• 2:16Griffin McElroy?

  It's what I-

• 2:16Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:17Griffin McElroy?

  It's my God given job, right?

• 2:18Travis McElroy?

  He doesn't take blame for it, it's not his fault.

• 2:20Griffin McElroy?

  What's a full beaver super moon?

• 2:22Travis McElroy?

  Thank you for asking, Griffin. So, do you know what a full moon is?

• 2:26Travis McElroy?

  A hunter's moon, yes.

• 2:28Griffin McElroy?

  I believe you mean, I believe you think, you're describing the hunter's moon?

• 2:31Travis McElroy?

  I mean, we could call it a beaver hunter super moon, if you'd rather do that.

• 2:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:36Travis McElroy?

  So, full, you get that concept?

• 2:37Travis McElroy?

  Hunter, super moon fighter, beaver tattooed alien, super hunter fighter, moon fighters from Beverly Hills.

• 2:48Travis McElroy?

  Hell yeah, dude. Wait, hold on, TM, TM, TM.

• 2:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:52Travis McElroy?

  TM, TM, TM, TN, TMNT.

• 2:54Griffin McElroy?

  Get them in there.

• 2:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 2:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, so what's a full beaver super moon?

• 3:00Travis McElroy?

  It's a full-

• 3:00Travis McElroy?

  So, a beaver moon is in November, when beavers build shelters, Native Americans and early American colonists would call the full moon in November, a beaver moon.

• 3:16Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 3:17Travis McElroy?

  And then, super moon is when there's a full moon, when the moon is at its closest orbit to the Earth. So, it looks super big.

• 3:27Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 3:27Travis McElroy?

  So, altogether-

• 3:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:29Travis McElroy?

  It's a full beaver super moon.

• 3:30Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, okay.

• 3:31Travis McElroy?

  And it's a synergistic tummy together to make me sleep bad and be ten minutes late for the podcast.

• 3:38Griffin McElroy?

  Is it the closeness and the bigness of the moon, and it's like putting like a little bit of extra for, like, gravitational force on your eyelids?

• 3:46Travis McElroy?

  It's more that it's looking at me real close.

• 3:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:48Travis McElroy?

  You know, like, I know it's there, and I occasionally have to hide myself away from the full beaver super moon, so I can't see-

• 3:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:55Travis McElroy?

  My nudity.

• 3:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:57Travis McElroy?

  A lot of it is that.

• 3:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:59Travis McElroy?

  I'm still reeling from the time change. I don't know how I'm gonna adjust to this right now, because I'm still feeling like-

• 4:04Travis McElroy?

  Blame it on the full beaver super moon. Okay, but I'm still blaming the time change. I'm gonna run out of excuses before long Travis.

• 4:12Griffin McElroy?

  Are they working together?

• 4:13Travis McElroy?

  As far as I know, the full Beaver Superman caused the time change.

• 4:17Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 4:18Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 4:19Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. I would actually prefer that. I would prefer if we were changing the time based on celestial movements and actual a tangible stuff and not just because some farmers or whatever felt like it 300,000 years ago. If it was moon based, fuck yeah. Okay, whatever. Sure. I'll change the clock based on the moon. I don't want to change it based on an idea Benjamin Franklin had once, one time.

• 4:45Travis McElroy?

  I just think that if we're gonna give that power to farmers, we should extend it to other industries.

• 4:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 4:52Travis McElroy?

  And it should be like, fast food workers, okay, every April.

• 4:56Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:57Travis McElroy?

  We set the clocks forward 15 minutes so that Derek's not late for his shift anymore. Right? But then at the end of April, we move it back 22 minutes.

• 5:06Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Derek's saving time is cool. Derek, fired Derek. Disappointment time.

• 5:14Travis McElroy?

  April is when we clear all of Derek's warnings.

• 5:17Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:18Travis McElroy?

  Right? And then at the, but then.

• 5:19Griffin McElroy?

  No more Derek de Merit.

• 5:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:21Griffin McElroy?

  Derek de Merit time.

• 5:22Travis McElroy?

  But then in May, when the clocks have moved back forward 22 minutes, now it's time to get your shit together Derek because well, you're 22 minutes late now.

• 5:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:31Travis McElroy?

  That's a fireable offense, according to Denise.

• 5:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:34Travis McElroy?

  Hey. Hey, can we send jokes out there in for a second? Speaking of these like government shifts.

• 5:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:40Travis McElroy?

  These huge government policy shifts.

• 5:41Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 5:42Travis McElroy?

  If we could just send jokes out there in for a second. I went to the Inner Geek.

• 5:45Griffin McElroy?

  You went to the what?

• 5:46Travis McElroy?

  The Inner Geek, Pullman Square. If you come in for candle nights, you should go visit them. Went to the Inner Geek in Pullman Square. There was a sign up outside that said, due to the discontinuation of pennies in 2026, we will no longer be accepting pennies.

• 6:00Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 6:01Travis McElroy?

  Guys?

• 6:04Travis McElroy?

  Did you guys know that they were gonna stop doing pennies?

• 6:08Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 6:08Travis McElroy?

  Be honest.

• 6:09Griffin McElroy?

  No, I'm Googling this right now.

• 6:11Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so, okay, so say, I've been asking them,

• 6:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:15Travis McElroy?

  whoever they are at that moment.

• 6:17Griffin McElroy?

  And they never do fucking anything we fucking ask.

• 6:19Travis McElroy?

  I've been asking them about this one thing forever.

• 6:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:24Travis McElroy?

  And we are the, I've been asking for this forever and it happened in May and everything sucks so much and it's changing so much in how it sucks. There's this one thing I wanted to change and it did and I missed it.

• 6:40Travis McElroy?

  They took care of the number one issue though, Justin. There's a lot happening right now and they dealt with the biggest one.

• 6:46Travis McElroy?

  But it is like one of those pet peeve things of like, every conversation I'd get a little bit like, maybe people would be a little bit careful. Maybe people are careful about bringing up pennies around me because I'll get.

• 6:58Travis McElroy?

  I don't even mention J C pennies around Justin.

• 7:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:01Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, he doesn't.

• 7:02Travis McElroy?

  He might fly off the handle. I saw a sign like that, like about a week ago, Jayman.

• 7:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:08Travis McElroy?

  And then.

• 7:09Travis McElroy?

  Is that how you found out about it?

• 7:10Travis McElroy?

  And then.

• 7:10Travis McElroy?

  Because Travis, that would be almost to the day when I saw.

• 7:13Griffin McElroy?

  This is my finding out about it right now.

• 7:14Travis McElroy?

  And it opened up my eyes.

• 7:16Travis McElroy?

  And then like two days ago, I got changed from somewhere and I was handed five brand new, bright shiny pennies.

• 7:23Griffin McElroy?

  Gotta go out with a bang.

• 7:24Travis McElroy?

  So new, they looked fake.

• 7:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:26Travis McElroy?

  With like the shield on the back, so I know these are new.

• 7:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:31Travis McElroy?

  Because they're like, and I think that they're just like, we need to get all the pennies out of the stock room. We got so many pennies.

• 7:36Griffin McElroy?

  I, this makes a lot of sense now, guys, because I was walking down the street yesterday and I ran into Penny Marshall, famed actress from Verne Shirley, and she was see-through like fucking Back to the Future.

• 7:49Travis McElroy?

  I think that's because she is a ghost.

• 7:51Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, did she pass away?

• 7:52Travis McElroy?

  She had quite like a few years ago.

• 7:56Travis McElroy?

  That's okay. It's a Halloween. Ooh.

• 7:58Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, what I said was a Halloween joke. I also Googled this penny thing and a lot of news stories are like retailers, retailers warn shoppers, you might not get your exact change back because we're running out of pennies. And that's cool. Does it go the other way? Does it go the other way where we can be like?

• 8:14Travis McElroy?

  You may not get your exact price.

• 8:15Griffin McElroy?

  You may not get your price you want for it because you tell me where to find a fucking penny. You can't charge me 549 for something. It needs to be easily divisible by five or else fuck you, dude.

• 8:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you know what would be cool and a great way to get rid of pennies? Get rid of sales tax on shit.

• 8:32Travis McElroy?

  Hey.

• 8:33Travis McElroy?

  That's where the pennies come in.

• 8:34Travis McElroy?

  Wow.

• 8:35Travis McElroy?

  Hey, dude, oh my God, you know what I'm realizing? Once we're done with pennies, things won't be 99 anymore, right?

• 8:41Travis McElroy?

  Can't be.

• 8:43Travis McElroy?

  Can't be, can't be 99.

• 8:45Travis McElroy?

  Can't be.

• 8:45Travis McElroy?

  Gotta be $5.

• 8:46Travis McElroy?

  Five good.

• 8:47Travis McElroy?

  $5 foot long, finally.

• 8:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Finally, they don't make them anymore, but if they still did, I would be able to get a $5 foot long for $5 and 30.

• 8:56Travis McElroy?

  Check this out, you guys ready for this shit? You ready for this shit?

• 8:59Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:59Travis McElroy?

  Nichols? You're next. Then dimes, then quarters, then money, currency.

• 9:08Travis McElroy?

  Can we be done? Can we? You know what I love over in other countries?

• 9:12Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 9:12Travis McElroy?

  They're doing fat coins for dollars.

• 9:15Travis McElroy?

  Dude, I love.

• 9:16Travis McElroy?

  Dude, I love this. I know we tried fat coins for dollars before, once before, and then we gave up. Other countries have figured this out. They've got these big fat coins with gold in them and you'll wanna hold them like a pirate.

• 9:28Travis McElroy?

  It feels good when you find them in your pocket and you're like, holy shit, this is like $12.

• 9:33Travis McElroy?

  You find a coin in there, it might be a candy bar. That feels good, you know?

• 9:37Travis McElroy?

  I recently.

• 9:38Travis McElroy?

  You don't get that feeling over here.

• 9:38Travis McElroy?

  I was recently handed.

• 9:39Travis McElroy?

  A jingle jangle over there could be a, could be a, a lunch of mushy peas.

• 9:43Travis McElroy?

  You gotta stop doing what you're doing under the desk right now, Justin.

• 9:46Travis McElroy?

  I'm jangling the change in my pocket.

• 9:48Travis McElroy?

  No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:50Travis McElroy?

  It's just the change in my blue.

• 9:51Travis McElroy?

  When I'm handed gold, uh, dollars here in the US of A, uh, it's fun because I know like, well, I'll have these forever. Because I can't imagine a scenario in which I have the confidence to both pay with cash and these doubloons.

• 10:05Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 10:05Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Every once in a while, you used to see machines that would have a picture of the second Jewett coin. I'd be like, we accept these and it's, you might as well take floos. Like, what do you mean?

• 10:14Travis McElroy?

  No way.

• 10:15Travis McElroy?

  Anyways, blame it on the full beaver Superman.

• 10:17Travis McElroy?

  I do.

• 10:17Travis McElroy?

  There you go.

• 10:18Travis McElroy?

  It ate all the pennies. This is an advice show, Travis.

• 10:22Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 10:22Travis McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 10:22Travis McElroy?

  And sorry.

• 10:23Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 10:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 10:24Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 10:25Travis McElroy?

  I didn't know.

• 10:25Travis McElroy?

  Here's my advice.

• 10:26Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 10:26Travis McElroy?

  Here's my advice, a little less talking.

• 10:29Travis McElroy?

  On the podcast.

• 10:29Travis McElroy?

  A little more show, alright?

• 10:31Travis McElroy?

  The show is talking, the show is exclusively talking.

• 10:33Travis McElroy?

  I wanna be a cool dude that casually gives out fist bumps. How do you become one? That's from fists up Ontario. Hmm, seems like a simple question, but I. Suspect it might not be so simple.

• 10:45Griffin McElroy?

  You're you got big stinker. Is your big stinker energy because of the full beaver super moon? Or is it because of the penny being faced?

• 10:52Travis McElroy?

  You're also giving a little bit of like Jonathan Frakes, like the strange but true kind of feeling of like, this might seem easy, but not for not for these three boys.

• 11:03Griffin McElroy?

  Is it?

• 11:04Travis McElroy?

  I have you ever considered fist bumping? It was a great night politically, and I guess I just want to be excited about the fact that pennies are finally gonna we're finally gonna get rid of them. And I guess I'm well, I was excited about that, but I will tone down the energy.

• 11:22Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 11:22Travis McElroy?

  You're gonna be a big stinker. If you're gonna be a stinker, be a big stinker.

• 11:26Griffin McElroy?

  We've gotten feedback from the fans a lot, and they're saying you three dads are bringing too much fucking gusto week in, week out. You you you're zapping off the rails and we need you to cool your jets a little bit.

• 11:39Travis McElroy?

  Speaking out, hey, briefly, before we get to our first question. I did want to point out a new addition here.

• 11:45Griffin McElroy?

  You're not about to grab that lumpy nasty gourd, are you?

• 11:47Travis McElroy?

  No, I don't. We don't need to see the gourd again.

• 11:49Griffin McElroy?

  Better not grab that fucked up gourd. Oh, boy.

• 11:52Travis McElroy?

  You won.

• 11:52Griffin McElroy?

  He got a little. Yeah, a little pumpkin.

• 11:53Travis McElroy?

  This is my trophy for the pumpkin carving competition. I want to say thanks to everybody who supported the Huntington Children's Museum. It does say HCM Kids Pumpkin Carving Champ Biggest Muscles.

• 12:04Griffin McElroy?

  Does it say biggest muscles?

• 12:05Travis McElroy?

  Twenty five.

• 12:07Travis McElroy?

  It's implied.

• 12:08Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 12:09Travis McElroy?

  I like a small trip. I don't know how I carved it without the biggest.

• 12:12Griffin McElroy?

  I like that it's small, too. So I like that it's a really, really small trophy. A lot of people only care about big trophies, but like it's the prize. The prize is not the size of the trophy is not sort of intrinsic to the value of the prize.

• 12:24Travis McElroy?

  And I think it's not tall, but it's very wide.

• 12:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I do like that. So I think fist bumps. Easy answer is what's your job is a question, not an answer. Because there's certain jobs that lend themselves to fist bumps. Anything involved in the SoCal sports scene, youth pastor, fucking.

• 12:48Travis McElroy?

  Proctologist.

• 12:49Griffin McElroy?

  What's one?

• 12:51Travis McElroy?

  Proctologist?

• 12:52Travis McElroy?

  No, see, Griffin was I was doing real ones. Was listing. Let's do real ones first. Yeah. Let's start with real ones.

• 12:57Travis McElroy?

  Okay, real ones.

• 12:59Travis McElroy?

  We didn't actually allow jokes back into the room after the penny discussion. Right. Maybe we should reopen the door to jokes. Okay.

• 13:04Travis McElroy?

  Oh, that explains so much.

• 13:05Travis McElroy?

  Eric? Proctologist. Okay.

• 13:11Travis McElroy?

  Here's my, this is, when I got this question, I saw it as one of those like flow charts, you know, yes, no, right? Where I feel like there's two thing, either you ask for it, right? Fist bump? Or you just put it out there confidently? And now it's on the other person? And like, that, that seems to me to be like, the starting decision you need to make.

• 13:39Travis McElroy?

  Okay, but let's, but like, angle is huge, probably the first thing, right? Cause low is like, I'm building a brand. Low is discreet. Yeah. Hey, between you and I,

• 13:51Travis McElroy?

  I'm charging my green lantern ring.

• 13:53Travis McElroy?

  Out of frame. It's like an undercover, bro. Right here, this is almost a little scary, isn't it? I, whoa, juice, calm down. CB, whoa, I know, right?

• 14:00Travis McElroy?

  You can't go straight arm, Justin, you can't straight arm out.

• 14:04Travis McElroy?

  And I, and listen, and here's the thing, guys? I'm not going to go higher than this. Yeah. Just like even, because there is a camera pointed at me. You could curve down. You could curve down.

• 14:12Travis McElroy?

  No, that's definitely scary. That's giving me your lunch money right there.

• 14:15Travis McElroy?

  So you go down later. Yay, give him a From below, yeah.

• 14:19Travis McElroy?

  Give him a fist bump by grabbing their shirt collar and coming from above, right?

• 14:23Travis McElroy?

  That's cool. That's cool. Uh, have you ever? One thing is if you've ever left someone hanging, give it up. You can't. Because you You lose the You're out of the game. Yeah, for sure. You're out. You're out. If you've ever left someone hanging, when they went for a bump, and, and here's the thing about fist bumps, no one would leave you hang, I mean, Yeah, no. No one of consequence. Yeah.

• 14:45Travis McElroy?

  There's a, there's a guy, uh, at the gym that I go to who fist bumps me every time he sees me.

• 14:51Travis McElroy?

  Huge.

• 14:51Travis McElroy?

  And it's, uh, maybe the most I feel like, ah, they think I'm like a gym guy.

• 14:59Travis McElroy?

  You belong, yeah, it's huge.

• 15:00Travis McElroy?

  It's huge. When I

• 15:01Travis McElroy?

  If I went through a day with more with more than three people fist bump me, I would end it weeping by my bedside. I would like be just like thinking about like, wow, I did it.

• 15:10Travis McElroy?

  You're different.

• 15:10Travis McElroy?

  You know, like I'm finally getting somewhere.

• 15:12Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:12Travis McElroy?

  Getting somewhere, you know?

• 15:14Travis McElroy?

  I think so much more affirming these days than a high five.

• 15:17Travis McElroy?

  Like Griffin, like Griffin, wait, hold on Trav. Like Griffin, we've had, we've each had a turn.

• 15:21Travis McElroy?

  Oh, sorry. I forgot.

• 15:21Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you, Juice. This never happens.

• 15:24Travis McElroy?

  It's a turn based podcast.

• 15:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Well, I'm trying to pay attention.

• 15:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:27Travis McElroy?

  So you're, you, I had a turn and now you should.

• 15:30Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, but now I feel a lot of pressure to really do it.

• 15:32Travis McElroy?

  Dad's in Scotland.

• 15:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 15:34Travis McElroy?

  Dad's in Scotland, so I have to do it.

• 15:36Travis McElroy?

  It's your turn to sit up front.

• 15:37Travis McElroy?

  He, he is normally on the calls we edit, but he's normally on the calls telling us.

• 15:41Griffin McElroy?

  So I was gonna say that, so, um. Gosh, I really want to fucking land the plane right now. And I feel like all eyes are on me, all eyes on me. So.

• 15:51Travis McElroy?

  Hmm.

• 15:52Griffin McElroy?

  I remember in the movie adaptation of Double Dragon, they had a.

• 15:58Travis McElroy?

  Wait, sorry, the movie adaptation?

• 16:00Griffin McElroy?

  The movie.

• 16:01Travis McElroy?

  Of the novelization. Charlie Kaufman? Like the Charlie Kaufman thing?

• 16:05Griffin McElroy?

  The movie Double Dragon, based on the video game Double Dragon.

• 16:10Travis McElroy?

  Based on the true story.

• 16:11Griffin McElroy?

  Based on Push by Sapphire. Double Dragon movie, the two guys from Double Dragon who are not Ken and Ryu, but they are.

• 16:20Travis McElroy?

  Billy and Jimmy Lee.

• 16:21Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Is that real? You would know better than me.

• 16:24Travis McElroy?

  It sounds right.

• 16:25Griffin McElroy?

  They came in at each other, one hand open, one fist, and the other one would alternate it, right? And then they would push in, so they would kind of grab each other's fists.

• 16:34Travis McElroy?

  Then lock in, yeah.

• 16:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, and a sort of.

• 16:36Travis McElroy?

  Like train coupling.

• 16:38Griffin McElroy?

  Like a train coupling, yes. I always thought that was so cool. And I tried to get it going with some friends in elementary, middle school, high school, college now. And it never really worked out because it, there's no way to get the message out there that like, when you go in, it's right hand fist, left hand clasp. Because if you come out, if you come at it and you hit them like that, and you're like fingernails fucking go in each, oh man, it's brutal. But this would be, I think, pretty cool. I didn't fucking have it.

• 17:12Travis McElroy?

  Okay, that's all right, Griff. That's okay, Trav. I am so sorry, Trav. Hey Griff, hey Griff, Griff, Griff, your turn has ended. So I'm gonna go ahead and ask Trav if he had some other stuff he'd like to say about it.

• 17:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that weird gourd in the background looks like Ben Grimm's penis.

• 17:30Griffin McElroy?

  Damn it.

• 17:33Griffin McElroy?

  I can't believe how long I made him wait for that, Trav.

• 17:36Travis McElroy?

  Now Travis, give me the pun on it's clobberin' time and we can move on.

• 17:42Griffin McElroy?

  But, but, but, it can't be, but it can't be it's slobberin' time.

• 17:46Travis McElroy?

  Okay, it's knobberin' time.

• 17:48Griffin McElroy?

  All right.

• 17:49Travis McElroy?

  Dang, that's good. Dang, that's good. Dang it. Here's another question. I've been at the mechanic for three hours and there's no end in sight. It's getting to be lunchtime and I skipped breakfast. Would it be unforgivable to pull out the jar of peanut butter and spoon in my purse and start snacking? They don't have a separate waiting room, so I'd be doing this in fairly close to the front desk. That's from Holland. Ooh la la. Uh, and they say, I don't like protein bars, so instead I eat a couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter when needed. That's completely reason. I, I a hundred percent have a jar of almond butter in my home for this exact purpose. If I left the house.

• 18:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 18:24Travis McElroy?

  I would have a travel jar.

• 18:26Travis McElroy?

  I think it's a full beaver superfood.

• 18:29Griffin McElroy?

  It is a full beaver superfood. That and acai. Those two. I had an amazing idea during Halloween trick or treating, walking around. You know how when you eat a protein bar, it sucks after like two bites? We need fun sized protein bars. We need a little one bite, two bite, get in there, a little snack roll, a little fucking couple grams to get you fucking juicing. And then you're not committing to a big chewy event. You're just getting in there, getting out. So I think that this would be a good fix. Well, I'll answer the question in a moment, but I just think.

• 19:06Travis McElroy?

  Can they be loose?

• 19:07Griffin McElroy?

  Loose.

• 19:08Travis McElroy?

  I don't want to make it extra, the paper.

• 19:10Travis McElroy?

  Oh, you're saying like a, like one might get a box of Cheez-Its.

• 19:14Travis McElroy?

  Like a loose box.

• 19:15Griffin McElroy?

  A box of, yeah, sure. We could do that.

• 19:18Travis McElroy?

  Okay, good. I just want to cut down a pack.

• 19:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, no, that's huge.

• 19:20Travis McElroy?

  Like a bunch of like little.

• 19:21Travis McElroy?

  Could we make some that are full sized protein bar, but the final quarter of it is a candy bar that you work your way to?

• 19:27Griffin McElroy?

  That's like a Mars bar sort of situation, only it's.

• 19:31Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, but it's right at the end. You know, those ones that come in segments.

• 19:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 19:35Travis McElroy?

  And then at the bottom of, and then at the bottom of the candy bar, there's a tiny cigarette. Yeah, it's great.

• 19:41Griffin McElroy?

  Shit, dude.

• 19:42Travis McElroy?

  And then at the end of the cigarette.

• 19:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 19:44Travis McElroy?

  It's a little bit of cocaine.

• 19:47Griffin McElroy?

  You're welcome.

• 19:50Travis McElroy?

  From the Mars.

• 19:52Travis McElroy?

  I don't know if you guys ever run into this, but when you have to take your car to the mechanic, it becomes in my brain, the equivalent of like the mind, the logic puzzle of like, there's a farmer with a boat. And there's like a fox and a hen and a bag of grain of like, you're not going to have your car, but you don't want to stay there. So you gotta get back, but the other person has to come get you and then you have to get back and get, there has to be a better way.

• 20:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:18Travis McElroy?

  There does. It's biking.

• 20:19Travis McElroy?

  Or walking.

• 20:20Travis McElroy?

  So Justin, I'm supposed to bike next to my car? Yes. You go straight the whip on your bike. All the way to the gas, to the, to the, to the tire station. I had, I have to ask you guys if I was out of line with my mechanic last week. I had a small incident that removed the side view mirror from my car where it normally is.

• 20:43Travis McElroy?

  What? Hey, Justin, that's very, very careful language.

• 20:48Travis McElroy?

  They pop off sometimes. They just kind of pop off sometimes. No, I, I, I overcorrected and I hit the mirror on the rails in the viaduct, right? On those handrails.

• 20:59Travis McElroy?

  Boy, shit your pants, your life will flash before you ride.

• 21:03Travis McElroy?

  It was not a good day. It was not a good day for me. So I called the, the, the, the place that fixes the car. And I say, hello, my mirror is broken.

• 21:11Travis McElroy?

  Hello, is this the car hospital?

• 21:12Travis McElroy?

  Hello. Hello, I need to have my, my mirror is broken. I need to have my mirror fixed. Uh, my mirror is broken. And they said, okay, here's an appointment. And, and I had Sydney take me to the appointment. Yeah. To drop my car off for this appointment. And then I get there and they look at my mirror and they said, oh, this is, this is broken. Yeah. And I said, yeah, they said, we're going to need to replace this. I'm like, yeah, that's a broken. Yeah, it's a broken mirror. And they're like, okay, we're going to order, we're going to order it. It'll be in a few days and you can bring it back and get it replaced. I said, okay, um, just for, just so I know.

• 21:48Travis McElroy?

  How should I have phrased it?

• 21:49Griffin McElroy?

  Next time.

• 21:50Travis McElroy?

  So I, next time, so I, you are not even in, I, a layman can give you an assessment.

• 21:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:57Travis McElroy?

  It's fucked.

• 21:58Travis McElroy?

  It's a, it's a.

• 21:59Travis McElroy?

  I have liberated my mirror.

• 22:02Travis McElroy?

  Beyond.

• 22:02Travis McElroy?

  Done.

• 22:03Travis McElroy?

  Recognition.

• 22:04Travis McElroy?

  And I did say on the phone, I broke my mirror.

• 22:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 22:07Travis McElroy?

  I do not think that they were, I, she didn't come out with super glue to the parking lot, like, let me take a shot.

• 22:13Griffin McElroy?

  Mirror.

• 22:13Travis McElroy?

  Like, I don't know what.

• 22:14Griffin McElroy?

  Mirrors are famously one of the most irreparable substances.

• 22:19Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you just can't.

• 22:20Griffin McElroy?

  You can't really.

• 22:21Travis McElroy?

  Ring that bell.

• 22:22Griffin McElroy?

  Um, that's wild. I think you're fully justified.

• 22:25Travis McElroy?

  Thank you. I, next time I'll be more clear that this thing is just absolutely.

• 22:30Griffin McElroy?

  Uh.

• 22:30Travis McElroy?

  Eat your peanut butter.

• 22:32Griffin McElroy?

  Eat your, oh god, yes, sorry, we got so distraught.

• 22:34Travis McElroy?

  If anything, if they get uncomfortable, maybe it's gonna speed up that repair a little bit.

• 22:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. I also think it's cool.

• 22:41Travis McElroy?

  We gotta get this peanut butter pervert out of here.

• 22:43Griffin McElroy?

  You know how?

• 22:44Travis McElroy?

  I love.

• 22:44Travis McElroy?

  I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that.

• 22:47Griffin McElroy?

  You would never say that.

• 22:47Travis McElroy?

  Peanut butter, you're fine.

• 22:49Griffin McElroy?

  You know how in the Ocean's movies Brad Pitt eats all of the food and every time he does, he looks really cool?

• 22:54Travis McElroy?

  The best acting choice.

• 22:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I think there's like a way you can do that. I think if I see you, I'm like, they're on the go, they have places to be, they need to get out of here, they need protein for energy for business.

• 23:05Travis McElroy?

  The weirdest one though, Griffin, is there's a scene where he's just eating a yogurt cup. And did he have a refrigerated lunchbox with him? Like, is there a little ice pack in there? Where'd he get that yogurt from?

• 23:16Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you, Travis. Obviously someone else has been reading the IMDb lipsies with his pro account, finding, in this scene Brad Pitt ate a yogurt, but where'd he keep it cold? I don't think so.

• 23:29Travis McElroy?

  Um, I think my therapist believes in vampires. Twice now he has brought them up seemingly out of nowhere and talked about them like they're real. The first time he played it off like a slip of the tongue, but the second time, he really seemed to be trying to sell me on vampires being real and active in Chicago. How many more times do I let him bring up vampires before I find a new therapist? Is he a vampire? That's from Vulnerable in the Vindy City.

• 23:57Travis McElroy?

  I wanna say before we get into the nuts and bolts of the.

• 23:59Griffin McElroy?

  Please.

• 24:01Travis McElroy?

  Such gentle language in the wording, I think.

• 24:06Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:06Travis McElroy?

  My therapist believes in vampires. And then in the next sentence.

• 24:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:11Travis McElroy?

  Talked about them like they're real.

• 24:13Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:13Travis McElroy?

  And then in the next sentence, the second time he really seemed to be trying to sell it. Hey, I think think is out the window.

• 24:20Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 24:20Travis McElroy?

  You know, you're therapist.

• 24:22Griffin McElroy?

  I, I am.

• 24:23Travis McElroy?

  You know.

• 24:24Griffin McElroy?

  I am curious how one manifests a, uh, an opinion that they believe in vampires via a slip of the tongue. How does one accidentally let out?

• 24:38Travis McElroy?

  Like a vampire, uh, I mean, you have to learn to distinguish, uh, these thoughts that you're having these that you have to remind yourself. These are not real. They're not like your home or your couch or vampires.

• 24:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, okay.

• 24:52Travis McElroy?

  They're not like, they're just in your head. And just imagine like when you find yourself in one of these scenarios, like what would a vampire do? You know?

• 25:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:00Travis McElroy?

  You know, and I don't mean like from the movies. I mean, like my neighbor Todd, who I only see at night. And he says he works the late shift, but.

• 25:10Griffin McElroy?

  He bit, he bited me so hard once. I died and came back to life.

• 25:15Travis McElroy?

  I think, I think the question asker needs to figure something else out before they figure out how their therapist feels about vampires, which I think they know and are denying. They need to figure out how they feel about vampires.

• 25:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 25:28Travis McElroy?

  Because the, the end of this question is, how many more times do I let him bring up vampires before I find a new therapist? And then is he a vampire? So my friend, you need to figure out for you.

• 25:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:43Travis McElroy?

  If vampires are real.

• 25:44Griffin McElroy?

  There's a question mark there.

• 25:45Travis McElroy?

  It seems like you're waffling and honestly, if your therapist has introduced doubt about vampires and their reality, that may be enough to start looking for a new therapist. I think, I think that that's not a great.

• 25:59Griffin McElroy?

  Unless.

• 25:59Travis McElroy?

  I'm not a professional, but it doesn't seem good.

• 26:01Griffin McElroy?

  Unless.

• 26:02Travis McElroy?

  Unless.

• 26:03Griffin McElroy?

  Maybe your vampire therapist is the perfect person for you to do this work with of figuring out if you believe in vampires or not.

• 26:14Griffin McElroy?

  Did you think about that? It's gonna be challenging and you can't do it around the, don't do it around the full beaver super moon, that's for fucking sure. Because that's when vampires are at their absolute thiniest.

• 26:27Travis McElroy?

  And his werewolf receptionist is gonna just be a real problem.

• 26:31Griffin McElroy?

  Just go absolutely ape. And so, give it a week or two before you go back in.

• 26:35Travis McElroy?

  Wait, it's a werewolf? Holy shit!

• 26:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah dude, it's, those are, those are real and they're not in Chicago. They're more, um, in the southeast kind of like region of the-

• 26:46Travis McElroy?

  Chicago probably has werebears, right?

• 26:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 26:48Travis McElroy?

  Oh yeah!

• 26:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, absolutely.

• 26:49Travis McElroy?

  Duh, werebears.

• 26:51Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, sometimes I see their, sometimes I see their defense crumble and I'm like, where the bears?

• 26:56Travis McElroy?

  Oh!

• 26:57Griffin McElroy?

  Ow, I stabbed myself in the hand with a pen!

• 26:59Travis McElroy?

  Now he's gonna be a werpen!

• 27:03Griffin McElroy?

  Now-

• 27:03Travis McElroy?

  Shit, man. Ghosts of Mike Dicka got to you quick that time, man. I think if I found out my therapist was a vampire, I'd be a little psyched because they could use their vampire mesmerism to just get some of that shit out of there.

• 27:16Griffin McElroy?

  Holy shit, tell me about it dude! There's a reason they call it "the work" is hard and it makes you so tired. Sometimes after therapy, I have to take a nap and that's embarrassing. Just mesmerize me, bro. Just fucking blast me with your vampire magic, dude.

• 27:32Travis McElroy?

  I could call him at night, cause I know he's up. And then I would be like, "Hey, I can't sleep, can you mesmerize me through the phone?"

• 27:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:39Travis McElroy?

  And like knock me out? Give me a quick mesmerize, just a quick mesmerize through the phone?

• 27:43Griffin McElroy?

  He'll be like-

• 27:44Travis McElroy?

  Mes please.

• 27:44Griffin McElroy?

  This is that all or nothing thinking, Griffin, I've been telling you that you have to work on that. And I'm like, "I know, man, it's so hard, just blast me with your vampire magic." Just fly over here to the window and mesmerize me.

• 27:56Travis McElroy?

  I'm not gonna let you in! Ah, fuck!

• 27:59Griffin McElroy?

  I'm really stressed about this show, come mesmerize me so I can do good jobs.

• 28:03Travis McElroy?

  Just mesmerize me real quick.

• 28:05Griffin McElroy?

  You can fly faster than sound.

• 28:07Travis McElroy?

  Give you a little bud.

• 28:08Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Um, man, I will also say finding a therapist, it can be, it can be challenging. I think in, in, uh, maybe even in Chicago, it can be tough to find someone, you know, who can find your, uh, who takes your insurance or what? It's a hard process. So maybe this, if you're doing good work in other departments and there just happens to be this kind of like vampire thing in the background.

• 28:33Travis McElroy?

  Just diligently avoid the topic as best you can.

• 28:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Is him being a vampire in any way detrimental to the process? If not, maybe he's, you know, he's an, uh, an angel or an Edward.

• 28:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:46Travis McElroy?

  Or one of the many, many examples in pop culture.

• 28:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:50Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 28:50Griffin McElroy?

  Good ones. Good vampires.

• 28:52Travis McElroy?

  Good ones. One of the good ones.

• 28:53Travis McElroy?

  Upbeat ones. The upbeat vampires.

• 28:56Travis McElroy?

  Who does?

• 28:57Griffin McElroy?

  I don't want to litigate Angel and I really don't even want to talk about Angel.

• 29:01Travis McElroy?

  Well, he's barely holding it together.

• 29:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:03Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean? That's the other thing we got to acknowledge.

• 29:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, he's a mess.

• 29:07Travis McElroy?

  We're going to money.

• 29:20Travis McElroy?

  Mike Didka is alive.

• 29:22Travis McElroy?

  Huh?

• 29:23Travis McElroy?

  Who told? Yeah, that's the first breaking news. Second breaking news, cats have gotta eat.

• 29:28Travis McElroy?

  Oh shit, really?

• 29:30Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, in my house, the cats are eating smalls. In fact, just this morning, I was given the hero's welcome by Olive and Amelia when I opened up a pack of ground bird, which is their favorite after smooth bird.

• 29:44Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:44Travis McElroy?

  Which, uh, says a lot about them. Very classy. I think that they love the smooth bird. I think your cats are gonna love it too. Before we used to use the dry food and then we just kind of let them graze throughout the day. Uh, this has given us more control over their diet, given them healthier coats and.

• 30:01Travis McElroy?

  Now they're excited to see you.

• 30:04Travis McElroy?

  They're finally pleased that I exist, at least in those windows while they're hungry. I mean, after they've eaten. I try to give them their space.

• 30:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 30:13Travis McElroy?

  But like in that window, I feel really good. It's a really positive thing.

• 30:18Griffin McElroy?

  Do you feel like it's maybe transactional a little bit? The relationship you have with your cats?

• 30:22Travis McElroy?

  Oh, every relationship with a cat is transactional to some degree, Griffin.

• 30:26Travis McElroy?

  I don't think so, Griff. I could see where you'd be tempted to draw a connection between me opening the Smalls and giving it to them and them needing it to live and them tolerating me during that window. I could see why you would make a connection, but I think there's something a little bit deeper going on.

• 30:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 30:40Travis McElroy?

  They appreciate Justin on a deeper level that you wouldn't understand.

• 30:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 30:43Travis McElroy?

  Yes, but you know what I know they don't appreciate is a great bargain because that is for humans. Give your cat the food they deserve for a limited time because you are one of our listeners. You can get 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com/ mybrother. One last time, that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com/ mybrother.

• 31:07Griffin McElroy?

  I don't read ahead when we come up, when we do this show. And that is why I am, I guess, delighted to see that one of our sponsors is Zocdoc this week. After I talked about how hard it is to find a therapist in a big city like Chicago. It's not actually that tough if you use Zocdoc. I'm speaking of from, from personal experience. I moved to Washington DC. In Texas, they just have-

• 31:35Travis McElroy?

  You get away from all the vampires.

• 31:36Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, in Texas, they just had one big hospital and you go there and you say, I have this and they say, well, then you go to doctor this and then they fix it. And then when you go to DC-

• 31:45Travis McElroy?

  It's just a series of tubes.

• 31:47Griffin McElroy?

  Very futuristic like, they shoot you, they blast you up there and then they take care of you and it is what it is. In DC, that's not how it works. You have to go and you have to do a seat confined because the doctors hide. And Zocdoc helps you find the doctors that take your insurance, that are, you know, specialists in whatever it is that you need. And it even helps you book appointments with them like super fast. When you book an appointment through Zocdoc, typically you're, you know, waiting 24 to 72 hours after booking to get in there. More often than not, you can get same day appointments. I genuinely, I can't- How many times I have used Zocdoc to find medical practitioners for myself and my

• 32:27Griffin McElroy?

  family that are all taken by my insurance and it's, it is my default method now when I need to find a doctor or specialist in my, in my area because it's, I don't know, it's so easy and such a good idea that it, I don't know, it seems so, of course, this is how it should work. So that's Zocdoc, Z O C D O C is, is the name of the service. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to zocdoc.com/MyBrother to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z O C D O C dot com slash MyBrother. Zocdoc dot com slash MyBrother. It's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. What are you waiting for?

• 33:14Travis McElroy?

  I don't know, Griff.

• 33:17Griffin McElroy?

  Wasn't for you, man.

• 33:17Travis McElroy?

  Were you talking to, I don't know, we're doing this show, so it's not really a good time.

• 33:21Griffin McElroy?

  Wasn't for you.

• 33:22Travis McElroy?

  If you want to use Zocdoc, you should.

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• 34:57Griffin McElroy?

  Not what I was expecting.

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  Squad!

• 35:06Speaker 07

  Squad, yeah. Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam. Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast within a podcast. I am Count Donut and the cat keeps pissing on my cape!

• 35:15Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, that makes sense because Count Donut, it really looks like-

• 35:18Speaker 07

  This is all I had. This is from a costume party I went to.

• 35:23Travis McElroy?

  Count Donut, I'm so glad you're here. We have so many questions about vampires vis-à-vis therapists.

• 35:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 35:31Speaker 07

  Oh, that's part of-

• 35:31Griffin McElroy?

  Chicago, is Chicago a hotbed, would you say? Is it Chicago, Illinois?

• 35:36Speaker 07

  Yes. We love any city with a solid transportation system.

• 35:42Griffin McElroy?

  You can turn into bats. Why do you need a bus?

• 35:45Speaker 07

  Getting around underground.

• 35:47Travis McElroy?

  You can walk around, Griffin. You still take the bus.

• 35:51Griffin McElroy?

  I can't turn into a bat, though. That's different.

• 35:53Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, but I mean, it still takes exertion.

• 35:56Speaker 07

  Hmm. It's tiring.

• 35:58Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, you're right.

• 35:59Speaker 07

  And also you lose your keys.

• 36:01Griffin McElroy?

  You lose your keys? Do you drop all your clothes and your stuff and you-

• 36:03Speaker 07

  No place to put the keys as for a bat.

• 36:06Travis McElroy?

  Maybe a bat pack.

• 36:07Speaker 07

  A bat pack.

• 36:09Griffin McElroy?

  So whenever you come out of bat form, Count Donut, you are nude.

• 36:13Speaker 07

  It's the day I was born 435 years ago!

• 36:21Travis McElroy?

  Exactly. Happy birthday.

• 36:22Griffin McElroy?

  That doesn't seem like crazy long-

• 36:24Speaker 07

  Me and Jeremy P. Okay.

• 36:27Travis McElroy?

  You and Jeremy Piven have the same birthday?

• 36:29Speaker 07

  Margaret Mitchell, Jeremy Piven, and, and, uh, actually Chef Jose Andres. Jose Andres, really? Wow. Extremely charitable vampire. I, maybe it's wrong. This is just a birthday we share. It's not a, we just happen to have the same birthday. Oh, okay. Me and Jose and the rest of the gang. May I talk about donuts? I, yeah.

• 36:51Travis McElroy?

  Please.

• 36:53Speaker 07

  This is why I'm here. Yeah, sure. Krispy Kreme has begun again. They wiped the slate clean and attempted once more to climb the Great Mountain. Krispy Kreme has announced a bigger, refreshed donut menu. America, when it comes to giving you more flavors, more variety and more ways to do it, this is how we do it. Alright. Krispy Kreme Inc. is refreshing its donut menu. Adding nine new flavors and growing its everyday menu to sixteen full-size donuts from ten.

• 37:29Travis McElroy?

  Wait, but nine new flavors and, but it's only six more.

• 37:34Speaker 07

  Sixteen donuts? Yeah. Imagine Travis going into a restaurant and having a choice of sixteen different ones to enjoy. But there's a secret story. There's a three flavor, there's three flavors that have been axed, and I'm curious what those three are that have been left on the cutting room floor.

• 37:49Travis McElroy?

  Chocolate?

• 37:50Speaker 07

  That would require a la- a level of dedication to the Krispy Kreme offerings that I do not possess. It will not surprise you, Griffin. I do not wish to talk about the past. Okay.

• 38:00Travis McElroy?

  Just like Count Donuts.

• 38:02Speaker 07

  Yeah, interesting. We're moving on. These popular donuts were offered previously only for a limited time, and now they're permanent boys. Permanent boys?

• 38:15Speaker 07

  You're better than this. What did you say? They're permanent, boys.

• 38:21Travis McElroy?

  So this is so.

• 38:22Travis McElroy?

  I also thought.

• 38:24Travis McElroy?

  I thought it's basic. It's a basic podcast.

• 38:27Griffin McElroy?

  I thought the press release was saying, these are our permanent boys now, like saying it.

• 38:31Travis McElroy?

  I also, I also thought that.

• 38:33Griffin McElroy?

  Thank you, Travis.

• 38:34Speaker 07

  Krispy Kreme is comprised of an army of sixteen boys.

• 38:38Travis McElroy?

  Each chosen. Our doughboys.

• 38:41Speaker 07

  We have sixteen permanent doughboys.

• 38:44Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man.

• 38:45Speaker 07

  Why don't the doughs, hey, why don't the doughboys ever want to be my friend?

• 38:50Travis McElroy?

  Why don't they have you on Count Donut?

• 38:53Speaker 07

  Well, I've never, the doughboys ever email me.

• 38:56Travis McElroy?

  Why don't they?

• 38:56Speaker 07

  They never said.

• 38:57Griffin McElroy?

  Never emailed them.

• 38:57Speaker 07

  They know I love, they know I love these kinds of things.

• 39:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 39:01Speaker 07

  Fast food, things like that. They've never emailed.

• 39:03Griffin McElroy?

  They might not know. They might not have heard or like heard this bit.

• 39:06Speaker 07

  They've heard the, I've heard of them a lot of times. You know, it seems, maybe they've heard of Justin McElroy once. They could email me just like, hey, got similar, you know. Had I say Justin McElroy, I meant Count Donut.

• 39:20Travis McElroy?

  Have you tried mezzing them?

• 39:21Speaker 07

  Very different feelings.

• 39:22Travis McElroy?

  You gotta mez them.

• 39:23Speaker 07

  We're friends of friends.

• 39:24Griffin McElroy?

  Mez them. Mez them with your power.

• 39:27Travis McElroy?

  Use your power right now.

• 39:29Speaker 07

  All right, doughboys. Justin McElroy has an overlapping interest with you in the fast food world. But he has never spoken with you. He feels like you would get along and honestly, guys, it's been going on so long. There's some part of him that thinks you kind of hate them for some reason, because it's just weird that you guys aren't friends. It seems weird.

• 39:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 39:50Speaker 07

  So reach out to him via email or LinkedIn.

• 39:55Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa, I didn't even know Juice was on LinkedIn.

• 39:57Speaker 07

  Yeah, he's big on LinkedIn. You gotta go somewhere to post your Ziggy cartoons, right? So he's doing it on LinkedIn. Listen, New York cheesecake, Oreo cookies and claim, original glazed cake, cinnamon apple field.

• 40:12Speaker 07

  Which is weird, original glazed cake. They didn't have this.

• 40:16Griffin McElroy?

  This is one of the nine new flavors is.

• 40:18Speaker 07

  That's a new one. They were like, check it.

• 40:20Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think they can have a new original flavor.

• 40:22Travis McElroy?

  They must have thought they did.

• 40:25Speaker 07

  Yeah, uh, they're also doing an original glazed cream filled donut, seasonal. Biscoff cookie butter cream.

• 40:33Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:34Speaker 07

  Maple iced chocolate fudge brownie donut and an original glazed pumpkin spice cake donut.

• 40:41Travis McElroy?

  Where's the original coming in here?

• 40:44Speaker 07

  Well, I guess they're saying that I Travis, you're Travis?

• 40:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:49Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 40:50Speaker 07

  I have no idea. Krispy Kreme will rotate in for new donuts on a seasonal basis, five times a year.

• 40:57Travis McElroy?

  So they're not permanent boys.

• 40:59Speaker 07

  They blast the boys, the four boys. These are temporary boys.

• 41:04Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 41:04Speaker 07

  It's temporal. Love them and leave them.

• 41:06Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 41:07Speaker 07

  The other boys are part of it.

• 41:08Travis McElroy?

  A four month.

• 41:09Griffin McElroy?

  We're so excited to offer in it to introduce nine new flavors to our lineup. So everyone can build a dozen that is unique as they are. Said Alison Holder, Krispy Kreme chief Brandon product officer.

• 41:20Travis McElroy?

  Now, listen, I don't, I don't want to be pedantic, but I'm going to for a moment because I do want to be pedantic.

• 41:26Griffin McElroy?

  Loving, we'd love that.

• 41:27Travis McElroy?

  Which is that in Krispy Kreme's psyche, in their mindset, the uniqueness of every human being can be summed up with 12 out of 16 donut options.

• 41:42Travis McElroy?

  Honestly, Travis, you could express all of the human, human genome with four different compounds, right? I don't see why we can't.

• 41:48Travis McElroy?

  Genome, sure, Justin. I'm talking about personality, baby.

• 41:51Griffin McElroy?

  Also Juice, where did you fucking come from, dude?

• 41:54Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 41:56Griffin McElroy?

  What? Where did you come from, man? Cause you haven't, fuck.

• 42:03Griffin McElroy?

  It's the super moon, dude. It like, I'm telling you, it's like throwing off all of our.

• 42:06Travis McElroy?

  No, it's, it's a cave. It's a cats keep pissing on my cave.

• 42:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 42:10Travis McElroy?

  Uh, you know why they're pissing on it?

• 42:13Travis McElroy?

  Full Beaver Superman.

• 42:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, so an old roundabout way.

• 42:15Travis McElroy?

  I knew it was coming.

• 42:16Speaker 07

  Uh, uh, uh, sorry.

• 42:18Travis McElroy?

  It's the Full Beaver Superman.

• 42:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man, that cool dude.

• 42:22Speaker 07

  It's because I was reading the quote and I got all confused. Can I tell you the only reason? There's only one reason I wanted to tell you this.

• 42:30Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 42:31Speaker 07

  The new menu is supported by a marketing campaign that includes R and B singer, songwriter, producer, and Grammy winner, Montel Jordan.

• 42:40Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, I was waiting for this to drop.

• 42:41Travis McElroy?

  Oh, this is how we do it. This is, okay.

• 42:45Speaker 07

  Who Krispy Kreme recruited to make his iconic 1995 number one hit, This Is How We Do It, during its 30th anniversary. Jordan's This Is How We Dozen take on the song encourages fans to.

• 43:02Travis McElroy?

  All right, all right, all right.

• 43:04Speaker 07

  Encourages fans to share on social media how they're enjoying and sharing Krispy Kreme's new expanded everyday menu, including sweet dance moves. Now.

• 43:15Griffin McElroy?

  Nice.

• 43:16Travis McElroy?

  They know just how to go viral.

• 43:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, dude.

• 43:19Speaker 07

  So, guys, here's what I want to ask you. The next quote is from Montel Jordan.

• 43:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:28Speaker 07

  I want you to guess, what if you were Montel Jordan?

• 43:34Speaker 07

  Can you tell me, to the best of your ability, and I will warn you, one point will be awarded.

• 43:40Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay.

• 43:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:41Speaker 07

  To the best of your ability, what the quote from Montel Jordan will be about his partnership with Krispy Kreme?

• 43:46Travis McElroy?

  Um, I'm assuming it's not, well, I really like money.

• 43:50Speaker 07

  There's a lot of things it's not, Travis.

• 43:52Travis McElroy?

  I really like money. Probably isn't. I'm gonna say Justin, based off of past experience.

• 43:58Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 43:58Travis McElroy?

  I'm a big fan.

• 43:59Speaker 07

  Who's Justin?

• 44:00Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I'm a big fan of Krispy Kreme. And getting to work with them is something I've always wanted, something along those lines.

• 44:11Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 44:11Griffin McElroy?

  Take a swing at it.

• 44:12Speaker 07

  Griffin, Griffin.

• 44:14Griffin McElroy?

  This is how I do it. It's Friday night and I feel like eating Krispy Kreme donuts on the west side.

• 44:23Travis McElroy?

  Designated driver, take the keys to my truck.

• 44:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:27Travis McElroy?

  It's time.

• 44:27Travis McElroy?

  Kinda buzzed, gonna buy a dozen.

• 44:30Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 44:30Travis McElroy?

  This is how I dozen.

• 44:32Travis McElroy?

  This is how, yeah.

• 44:34Travis McElroy?

  God, gonna, kind of buzz gonna buy a dozen is very good.

• 44:37Travis McElroy?

  I did.

• 44:38Travis McElroy?

  And accurate, I will say.

• 44:39Travis McElroy?

  Krispy Kreme does it like nobody does? Is that, could that be part of it?

• 44:45Travis McElroy?

  Here we go. To all my neighbors.

• 44:47Travis McElroy?

  To all these donuts, all these donuts, all these donuts got much flavor.

• 44:51Travis McElroy?

  Got six, can I, Griffin? All my neighbors got sixteen flavors. This is how I dozen.

• 44:59Travis McElroy?

  How he dozen.

• 45:00Travis McElroy?

  Cause you need to get the information out there.

• 45:02Travis McElroy?

  That's right, that's, that's better. My music is about celebrating good times. And nothing brings people joy. Quite like a dozen Krispy Kreme.

• 45:13Travis McElroy?

  Nothing?

• 45:14Travis McElroy?

  Nothing.

• 45:14Travis McElroy?

  Nothing?

• 45:15Travis McElroy?

  Nothing? Nothing. Being a Krispy Kreme fan.

• 45:19Travis McElroy?

  Kinda wanna do a deep dive now to see if Montel Jordan is like a father.

• 45:22Travis McElroy?

  What's he? That trash actually, that's fucking sage advice dude. Being a Krispy Kreme fan, doing this remix for Krispy Kreme's new core menu is a blessing. And I'm excited about hyping everyone to discover some new favorite donuts and make sweet memories. Krispy Kreme does donuts like nobody does.

• 45:42Travis McElroy?

  Alright, alright, alright, alright. They never cut back on a delicious snack. This is how he dozen.

• 45:47Travis McElroy?

  Travis and I both got little pieces here and there.

• 45:50Speaker 07

  I have, if you're interested, boys, the list of the three dead donuts.

• 45:54Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:54Travis McElroy?

  I, I am, but first, just in case anyone hasn't heard it. This is how we do it by Montel Jordan is one of the all time.

• 46:01Travis McElroy?

  Travis, I swear to God, I swear to God, if you're about to give a full throated endorsement of this is how we do it by Montel Jordan. If you've never heard, this is how we do it.

• 46:10Travis McElroy?

  Do it by Montel Jordan.

• 46:12Travis McElroy?

  You guys gotta check.

• 46:13Travis McElroy?

  A lot of young listeners.

• 46:14Travis McElroy?

  You gotta check this shit out. I, it doesn't matter how old the listeners are, have they seen a commercial for any company ever? Cause this is how we do it, it's in it, somewhere.

• 46:26Travis McElroy?

  Um, yeah, this is, uh, this is Autumn, Autumn's favorite song. And for their anniversary, Slice got her a remixed version of This Is How We Do It that is about her. Holy shit, man. I know, I know. So he launched a rebrand too. He launched his own marketing campaign. Kidding. Just about his wife's break, you know, you could, you, Montel Jordan is happy. Yeah. To get in there and help you restart your brand, whatever your brand is, he's ready for a new menu. So the three, oh, god damn it.

• 46:59Travis McElroy?

  Just didn't do the voice at all, that whole bit.

• 47:00Griffin McElroy?

  That's okay. He can come back now.

• 47:02Travis McElroy?

  That was you. That was me.

• 47:04Griffin McElroy?

  That was you. I don't think Count On Out would know Autumn and Slice.

• 47:08Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, but it's like, why did I, you know what I mean? It doesn't make, it doesn't make sense. On the full beaver.

• 47:15Griffin McElroy?

  You can just really blame anything on the menu.

• 47:18Travis McElroy?

  I know, but it's like, if I don't have the consistency, you don't need. I need to hear you say it's the full beaver super moon and then we can move on.

• 47:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, as Dracula.

• 47:26Travis McElroy?

  It might be the full beaver super moon. Okay, thank you.

• 47:29Speaker 07

  As part of the menu expansion, three previously everyday flavors, this is the way they put it.

• 47:35Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 47:35Speaker 07

  Have been removed. The original glazed blueberry cake.

• 47:40Travis McElroy?

  Fuck off, man. That's Jesus Christ. That's like my favorite.

• 47:44Speaker 07

  The original glazed lemon filled.

• 47:48Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's fine.

• 47:49Speaker 07

  And the cake batter. Now, why would they get rid of two originals?

• 47:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 47:54Speaker 07

  You know?

• 47:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, no, for sure. It doesn't make much sense to me.

• 47:57Speaker 07

  They were born there and now they die there.

• 47:58Griffin McElroy?

  It's their house.

• 48:00Speaker 07

  That's their home. They live there.

• 48:02Travis McElroy?

  Do they have a limited amount of donuts they can make every day that they have to get rid of flavors?

• 48:08Speaker 07

  They're, they're ahead of you, Travis. Listen, Fred, not these donuts could return in the future.

• 48:15Griffin McElroy?

  All right.

• 48:16Speaker 07

  And of course Krispy Kreme will continue to delight fans with many limited time melt in your mouth donut innovations throughout the year, including this holiday season.

• 48:27Travis McElroy?

  Ooh la la.

• 48:30Speaker 07

  Some more surprises. Some more surprises are on the the horizon, maybe.

• 48:35Griffin McElroy?

  Um, yeah, I mean, the blueberry one hurts. The lemon goo is like, that's too much lemon goo. And we all.

• 48:41Speaker 07

  We're all done with goo.

• 48:43Griffin McElroy?

  We're all done with.

• 48:43Speaker 07

  We should talk to Donuts about this.

• 48:45Griffin McElroy?

  Cake.

• 48:45Speaker 07

  None of us want the goo anymore.

• 48:47Griffin McElroy?

  Cake batter's star burned bright and fast, but is is gone now, but some of us like.

• 48:51Speaker 07

  It's not even original. They don't want to claim it. They didn't make it up.

• 48:55Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 48:55Speaker 07

  But can I ask you guys?

• 48:56Griffin McElroy?

  Sure.

• 48:57Speaker 07

  We're all done with goo.

• 48:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:58Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 48:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yo, for sure.

• 49:00Speaker 07

  Can you tell? Tell them humans are also done with goo. The vampires, we have been over this stuff jelly filled. We don't know why you keep doing it, but no one listens to us.

• 49:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:12Speaker 07

  Please.

• 49:12Travis McElroy?

  I like the cream. I like a cream.

• 49:14Speaker 07

  Write your representatives and tell them you're done with goo.

• 49:17Griffin McElroy?

  It's not a question of the substance inside of it. It is a question of ratio. When you, the donuts that are filled are, a Danish can have a cream filling and a fruit filling, but it's a reasonable layer, a pate of of that stuff. I don't need a water balloon full of jelly to eat because that's too much.

• 49:36Travis McElroy?

  This is why Long Johns work.

• 49:38Griffin McElroy?

  Long Johns absolutely work.

• 49:39Travis McElroy?

  Like a hot dog.

• 49:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 49:42Speaker 07

  Like a cream dog. They should call them cream dogs.

• 49:45Griffin McElroy?

  Creamy dogs for sure.

• 49:47Speaker 07

  I've never thought of this until this moment. Cream dogs, very appetizing.

• 49:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 49:52Speaker 07

  Well.

• 49:53Travis McElroy?

  Bye.

• 49:55Speaker 07

  Time to die.

• 49:55Travis McElroy?

  Oh, no.

• 49:56Griffin McElroy?

  It's okay. This is what he calls going to sleep.

• 49:59Travis McElroy?

  Oh, right.

• 50:01Travis McElroy?

  The little death.

• 50:02Griffin McElroy?

  He's pretty dramatic. I don't know if you've, hey, Juice.

• 50:04Travis McElroy?

  I was in and out there.

• 50:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 50:05Travis McElroy?

  Uh, I think because of the super moon, and this has never happened, I think because of the super moon, we were kind of fighting for control because I had other things I wanted to do.

• 50:14Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, no, I get that. Yeah.

• 50:15Travis McElroy?

  I had other dreams. I had other, I had a whole other bit written down.

• 50:19Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 50:19Travis McElroy?

  That I was gonna do. It's scripted.

• 50:21Griffin McElroy?

  Um, well, do you want to do it?

• 50:23Travis McElroy?

  It was timely. It was a timely.

• 50:25Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, timely to 10 minutes ago?

• 50:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it was about, it was a 420 kind of joke.

• 50:31Griffin McElroy?

  It's 1038.

• 50:33Travis McElroy?

  30.

• 50:33Travis McElroy?

  They don't know that. They don't know that. They don't know when we're recording this. You guys could have just gone with it. Like, good point, Jay Man or something, you know?

• 50:41Travis McElroy?

  Good point, Jay Man.

• 50:42Griffin McElroy?

  Good, good.

• 50:42Travis McElroy?

  I can't keep this fiction up on my own, you know?

• 50:46Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, great job. I agree with Justin. Hey, everybody. Guess what?

• 50:53Griffin McElroy?

  What?

• 50:54Travis McElroy?

  We're doing Candle Knights in person this year.

• 50:58Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, my God.

• 50:58Travis McElroy?

  We're back in Huntington. Yeah. You guys are gonna come here, but you have warrants. I know.

• 51:04Griffin McElroy?

  So don't tell anyone.

• 51:04Travis McElroy?

  But it's worth it.

• 51:06Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, tell lots of people, like, tell your friends and whatever to come, but don't tell any cops.

• 51:11Travis McElroy?

  And guess what? It's also going to be streaming. Here's how it works. In-person show, December 6th at 7:00 PM Eastern Time in Huntington, West Virginia, and that ticket includes the virtual stream ticket, which will then be digitally premiering a recording of the show with all kinds of bonus stuff with it. That's gonna be December 19th at 9:00 PM Eastern Time, and we'll be in the chat talking through it. That video on-demand stream will be available through January 4th, and all benefits from the show will be donated to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. Tickets for both the in-person and livestream are available at bit.ly/candleknights2025.

• 51:57Griffin McElroy?

  If you've never come to the Candle Knights shows, I mean, that makes sense because we haven't done one live in like four years, but it really is such an amazing time, and it's so rad seeing everyone come together in our hometown, and everyone always has a really, really good time. So if...

• 52:10Travis McElroy?

  As I understand it, it's like half sold out, so get, get, hurry up and get some tickets if you want to get your tickets, because people, a lot of people locally, I think, will come as well, but you want to hurry up and get your tickets.

• 52:22Griffin McElroy?

  Quick.

• 52:23Travis McElroy?

  Tickets are also available currently. Packages are on sale for Champions Grove, the gaming event that I run every year at Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio. Come stay at the castle in one of the storybook village cabins or in Huntsman's Hollow cabins. Spend Memorial Day weekend with me and a bunch of other talented game hosts running all kinds of different games for folks. There's, Ravenwood Castle has an over 150 game board game library that you can pull games from and play games with friends or new friends in the great hall.

• 53:02Travis McElroy?

  We also have events like mini-figure painting classes, improv classes. We've done karaoke before.

• 53:10Griffin McElroy?

  Do they have Seinfeld edition?

• 53:13Travis McElroy?

  Probably. They have the task board game. Yeah, so there you go.

• 53:18Griffin McElroy?

  Seen it, the Seinfeld edition.

• 53:19Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's the Taz board game of Seinfeld editions. So go to www.championsgrove.com to find those packages. I think all we have left are four person packages. So don't wait, we're well over halfway sold at this point. So go check that out. www.championsgrove.com and come see us in Ravenwood Castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio. This Memorial Day or, you know, in 2026 Memorial Day weekend.

• 53:47Griffin McElroy?

  I am so excited about the new merch we have up in the merch store over at macronmerch.com. We have got for the old heads, a poster for Till Death Do Us Blart, designed by Jack T. Sherry. It is, it is really, it's one of my favorite sort of death blart inspired designs that I've ever seen. Also get in the spirit of the Honda days with the 2025 Candle Knights poster and ornament designed by Scott Hock. All of that stuff is over at macronmerch.com and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Native American aid, which addresses immediate needs for tribes experiencing disasters, emergency food shortages and preventative healthcare needs.

• 54:31Travis McElroy?

  Excellent. Griffin, why don't you read the fear this week?

• 54:33Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, I'll do that. This year, I will be faster than my fear of the Kool-Aid man busting through my bedroom wall while my wife and I are being intimate.

• 54:45Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah. He's just a McElroy.

• 54:48Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 54:52Travis McElroy?

  This has been my brother, my brother may kiss your dad square on the lips.

• 55:27Speaker 07

  Maximum fun.

• 55:28Speaker 04

  A worker owned network. Of artist owned shows. Supported directly by you.