A Doctor Was Assaulted By Her Boss. She Knows She's Not The Only One

In November 2013, Dr Dominique Lee arrived at the Sydney apartment of her mentor, Professor John Kearsley, for dinner. He was head of radiation oncology at St George Hospital, and he had been guiding her as she prepared to become a specialist consultant. By the end of the night, her life and career would be derailed for the next decade. Dominique's case was the first in Australian history in which a doctor was sent to jail for sexually assaulting another doctor. In 2026, she remains the only junior doctor to win a criminal case against a senior doctor for sexual assault. In this episode, she tells Gemma about the night that changed everything and the long fight for justice that followed. She also talks about what her case reveals about the culture inside Australian medicine. Purchase Dominique's book, What's Been Broken Is All the More Sharp here https://fave.co/4y1GB4Q. We want to hear from you! Take our quick 3-minute survey for your chance to win a $1,000 gift card. https://survey.alchemer.com/s3/8954679/HF-BUS-2026 GET IN TOUCH Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @truecrimeconversations https://www.instagram.com/truecrimeconversations/?hl=en Want us to cover a case on the podcast? Email us at [email protected] mailto:[email protected] or send us a voice note. https://help.mamamia.com.au/en-US/send-a-podcast-voice-note-467960 MAMAMIA OFFERS: Get access to Very Peri, Mamamia's exclusive perimenopause series, for just $59. 25 world-leading experts, over 20 on-demand sessions, available now. We’ve sorted through the noise so you don't have to. Go toveryperi.com.au http://veryperi.com.au/ today. You hot? Same. Make sure to leave us a rating and review on Apple & Spotify to let us know how you're liking the episodes. CREDITS Host & Executive Producer: Gemma Bath Guests: Dominique Lee Produced by Ella Maitland Video Editor: Jacob Round Audio Design: Tegan Sadler Mamamia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast. Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribe See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Gemma Bath?

  It's 7.30pm on a November evening in 2013. And Dr Dominic Lee has arrived at an apartment block in the Sydney suburb of Glebe. She's here for dinner with the head of the Radiation Oncology Department at St George's Hospital, Professor John Kearsley. He's been mentoring her as she prepares to graduate as a specialist consultant. But as she enters his apartment, she notices his wife isn't home. She hadn't realised it was just going to be the two of them. She pushes back a feeling of unease. As he starts cooking their lamb, he asks, "Would you like some?", gesturing to a carafe of red wine. She refuses, but he insists.

• 0:43Gemma Bath?

  "It's Grange Hermitage, $800 a bottle", he tells her. As they get to the end of their meal, Dominic starts to feel fuzzy, groggy. He starts rubbing her scalp, but it feels like she's frozen in place. The heaviness in her body not allowing her to move.

• 1:05Gemma Bath?

  Next thing she knows, she's lying on a bed.

• 1:09Gemma Bath?

  And what happens there will derail Dominic's life and career for the next decade.

• 1:22Gemma Bath?

  I'm Gemma Bath and you're listening to True Crime Conversations, a podcast exploring the world's most notorious crimes by speaking to the people who know the most about them. According to a 2015 survey from the Royal Australasian College of Surgeons, 49% of fellows, trainees and medical graduates reported being subjected to discrimination, bullying or sexual harassment. Surgical directors or consultants were by far the most frequently reported perpetrator. But Dominic's case was the first in Australian history where a doctor was sent to jail for assaulting another doctor. Let that sink in, the first.

• 2:09Gemma Bath?

  In 2026, Dominic remains the only junior doctor to win a criminal court case against a senior doctor for sexual assault.

• 2:19Gemma Bath?

  Before the assault, Dominic was a confident, vivacious 32-year-old woman without a doubt in her mind about her abilities. But that one night changed everything. And despite being told over and over again how difficult it was to win cases of sexual assault, she persevered, putting her reputation, her career and her mental health on the line in the fight for justice. She's released a book about her story called What's Been Broken is All The More Sharp. Dominic joins us now to share her story.

• 2:56Gemma Bath?

  Just a warning, this is a conversation about sexual assault, but it also contains mentions of suicide. Please take care while listening. Dominic, thank you for joining us on True Crime Conversations. I want to start with your childhood. Did you always have a plan for what you wanted to do with your life?

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know why, but I've always wanted to be a doctor. No idea why, because we have, there's no one in my family who's even remotely medical. But all I just wanted to be is a doctor and I used to play with the syphoscope. And my brother used to hate it. I've got an older brother. And I used to lay him down on the bed, get the place syphoscope and just play with him. And I'd be hanging out at the local paediatrician's office, just hanging out there.

• 3:43Gemma Bath?

  What do you mean, for fun?

• 3:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And back in those days, it's the 80s, but you could, you know, if you're five or six, you could just roam around with our parents, like in the neighbourhood, because people know you. And my mum would get this every now and then embarrassing phone call from the paediatrician's office asking, "Your daughter's here again. Can you come and grip her?" But the nurses were so lovely. They used to give me the syringes and things to play with. And I used to drag my playmate from kindergarten there and we'd hang out there for hours and I just loved it. And growing up, my mum wanted me to become a pianist, a classical one. And she said, you know, "Why would you want to be a doctor? You can marry one." And I always used to wonder, "Why? Why can't I do that?"

• 4:30Speaker 01

  And I remember in high school is when shows like, I don't know if you're, if you know, Chicago Hope and these Doogie Howser, all these things that we grew up watching, just wanted to be in that mix. And then there was other shows like ER that I just loved watching. And so, you know, I was academic enough to have the dream and feel like it was, you know, I could reach. And yeah, so that's all I ever wanted to be. Can't explain it.

• 4:59Gemma Bath?

  So your parents weren't, because lots of parents would be like, "You want to be a doctor? Great." But that wasn't the case in your family?

• 5:07Speaker 01

  No, no. So yes, it brings confusion to many because people like work at, you know, work with or have met through work, they do come from that background. You know, if they're academic, if you're smart, smart and good at maths and science, then that's what you do, you know? Why wouldn't you go for medicine? But in my family, they really, really tried hard to stop me from doing it. Because my dad was like, "That's a very hard life. Why would you want to do that? Why would you want to choose that profession as a woman?" You know, it's so much nicer to marry one and sit at home and be lady of leisure. That was my family.

• 5:46Gemma Bath?

  So it was gendered?

• 5:47Speaker 01

  It was gendered, yeah.

• 5:49Gemma Bath?

  You grew up in Korea?

• 5:50Speaker 01

  I did.

• 5:51Gemma Bath?

  Moved to New Zealand when you were 11?

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:54Gemma Bath?

  What was that like? Was that a bit of a culture shock for you?

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Massive culture shock. Because I think with boys, you make friends playing, right? So you could play basketball, you could play baseball, what a softball, whatever it is. And you can kind of get together, get close and you don't really have to talk a lot.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  Whereas with girls, it's all about how you connect through conversations. And back in Korea in primary school, you know, I, everybody at school knew me and I loved being at school. I was a real extrovert. And overnight, I sort of was in this new place with different looking people who, I think naturally as human beings, if people can't speak like you, I think assume, many of us assume that they're not of the same intelligence. Do you know what I mean?

• 6:53Gemma Bath?

  Because you didn't speak English when you came?

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Because I didn't speak English at the time. And I was, I'd always kind of been the smart person at school when it comes to, you know, the usual subjects. And all of a sudden, I could see myself or see people looking at me thinking, "She's not very bright", because I couldn't speak the language. And often I was left out of class activities because I couldn't participate not knowing the language. I was in the corner drawing and doing little collages and things like that. And so I think that taught me a lot of important lessons in life to not assume intelligence of people just because they don't speak the same way as you do.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  But also it taught me how to quietly observe and adapt really fast to situations. It also taught me this, I used to think it's a superpower. You know, I could just disappear. Like I could be in a place and just appear to concentrate in the moment, but like not be there.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  So I could just disappear and daydream. And you know, the ability to observe and adapt, I don't think I would have, skills that I wouldn't have had to learn if I had lived in Korea all my life, I think. Because I am naturally an extrovert. I like talking rather than listening, but it forced me to learn how to listen. And I think it's a really important life skill.

• 8:27Gemma Bath?

  Especially for a doctor?

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah, definitely.

• 8:30Gemma Bath?

  Tell me about the nickname Gorilla.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm glad you picked up on that one.

• 8:38Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so I've never been the one to stand up for myself. But when I, if I saw some injustice happening, I'd always speak up. And again, it's a part of me that's not, I don't think I control it, it just happens. And so when I was at school in Korea, there was a teacher in my, it'd be grade six, who used to, I remember the first week,

• 9:05Speaker 01

  the last day of first week or something like that.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  She asked every single child in the room what their parents do. Yeah. And I could see what she was doing as we kind of got halfway and she was making notes. I think she was trying to figure out who the children of the rich people were or the important people are. And then from then on, I could see that.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  I could see that she treated the children differently and I really, really didn't like that. Um, so I often spoke up when she was doing weird things or treating children differently. I would get up and demand that she apologises to my friend or whatever it was. And then, you know, I became this kid that, um, if kids got bullied, they came to me and I'd solve the problem and confront the kid who's the bully. And, and so that's how the nickname Gorilla came about, which is, you know, it's not, hopefully not because of the way I look.

• 10:03Gemma Bath?

  No.

• 10:06Gemma Bath?

  Pierce, like a gorilla.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:07Gemma Bath?

  Stands up for people. I love it.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:09Gemma Bath?

  So that sense of standing up for injustice, would you say that's something that's followed you through life?

• 10:16Speaker 01

  I think so, yeah. And I don't know where it comes from. Uh, and people have asked me many times, like, how did you get the courage to do what you did? And I can't answer it. All I can say is like, I've, I didn't feel like I had a choice, something that I had to do. It may just be that I don't think things through. I don't think about consequences. I, I, it's a knee-jerk reaction, almost.

• 10:41Gemma Bath?

  Well, it's like you're trying to right the wrong. You were angry and you're like, this isn't fair.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 10:46Gemma Bath?

  And it needs to be fair.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I think justice has always been a really important part of, like, one of my core values, as I've come to understand in my adult life. Um, and it's been, it's been the, the fuel that, um, guides my actions. And, um, I guess in a way, the reason I wanted to become a doctor is because I like to protect and I like to help. Um, and even though we know of doctors who don't look and, you know, represent what I represent, I feel like there's more of us than them.

• 11:21Gemma Bath?

  So you followed your dream. You went into medicine, first in New Zealand, and then you moved to Australia. At the time of your assault, you were a senior registrar in New South Wales. For those of us that aren't medical, can you explain what that means? Because by that point, you had done a lot of study.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:41Gemma Bath?

  And you'd been working in hospitals for quite a while.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right. The training in medicine is a long journey.

• 11:47Gemma Bath?

  It's insane.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  It's insane. And, uh, uh, medical school is five or six years. And then the first year after that, in New Zealand, we call them house officers, we call them interns here. Um, and then usually there's another year or two of senior house officer or, or unaccredited, um, registrar positions where you don't, you haven't quite decided or been accepted into the specialty that you want to practise or specialise into. And then generally speaking, once you get on a training programme, it's about five, five years for you to finish. So until that point, it would, I think, um, I, it was, I was eight, that was, would have been my eighth or ninth year out from medical school.

• 12:30Gemma Bath?

  So you were nearing the point of being, I guess, fully qualified in quotation marks.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  That's right. I was months away.

• 12:36Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  From being a specialist. Um, and then once you finish your specialty exams or you're, you're awarded your fellowship into whatever specialty, usually people will do one or two years of fellowship, um, to become specialised in their specialty. And then you become, and then you look for a job. So when I was a registrar, it was a known thing and accepted thing that what, even when you finish, it'll take another five years for you to get your dream job. Cause essentially in the public system or tertiary hos- hospitals, jobs aren't created for people. Often you're waiting for someone to retire. And so that process can be really long. Hmm.

• 13:18Gemma Bath?

  Can you take us inside the hospital ecosystem? Were you surprised at that world? Because it is a very, it's one of those worlds where, you know, it's like juniors and seniors and it's all hierarchical.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:33Gemma Bath?

  What was it like for you being in that world?

• 13:35Speaker 01

  It's a, it's a strange alien world. Like, um, you adapt to it pretty quickly. But I remember, um, you know, when I was a medical student, starting to work in hospitals. So fourth year, fifth year, sixth year, uh, you have to wear different coloured patches. And that's how you're, you're identified back in my days. And, um, unlike other countries or TV shows, the only people who are wearing the white coat were the students. So you could say like, that's a medical student.

• 14:07Gemma Bath?

  Oh.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:08Gemma Bath?

  Yeah, cause I would usually say the, the white coat's the one in charge.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  So, yeah, some people insist on wearing that, but you know, I feel like they've probably retired by now. Uh, and so we, we had to wear white coats and we were often put to shame and ridiculed just to put us in our place. And so as soon as you start working in the medical system, you realise that there is a very clear order and you must, you know, you must stay in your lane. Um, because if you, if you step out, then you're going to be put to shame. And, you know, it, we, as humans, we're driven, even though we like to think we're intellectuals, you know, our, our actions are driven by emotions and you don't want to be put to shame. And generally speaking, doctors are high achievers.

• 14:58Speaker 01

  And until that point, you would have never had to experience that kind of humiliation because, um, people praise you. A lot of the times when you, uh, for many medical students, you go in there and it's a humbling experience because for the first time, there's several hundred of you who are all very bright. When from your individual school, you would have been told that you're the smartest. And you're like, yeah, I'm the best. And then you go into this environment and you're like, wow, there's people who are way smarter than me here, or, you know, who are just as smart. It's a very humbling experience for most, you know. When you enter the workforce slowly and quickly, in some ways, you realise that,

• 15:42Speaker 01

  um, your career ascent or your career pathway is very much dependent on, um, how the person who, um, who you're working under rates you. And so when I was a registrar, so specialising as a trainee, like my motto was to never piss anybody off.

• 16:04Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  And in a way, I think, um, because I seemed so agreeable and, and I am, I, I love pleasing people and I'm a yes person. Uh, and because

• 16:22Speaker 01

  I'm an ethnic minority, I'm Asian, I fit a certain stereotype. I think often people assumed that I would be quiet and just never complain and just do my job. Um, and, you know, as it turned out, that was a very wrong impression of me.

• 16:41Gemma Bath?

  They had not met the gorilla.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  They had not met the gorilla.

• 16:47Gemma Bath?

  It's also from your own writing, a boys' club, much more than I ever imagined.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:54Gemma Bath?

  Particularly when you get into certain, um, specialties.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:00Gemma Bath?

  You even changed specialties because of that reason?

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Isn't that sad?

• 17:05Gemma Bath?

  It is.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. So when I went to med school, we were fifty fifty, fifty percent female and fifty percent male. And, um, this is a good thing in this world. We need more female doctors and, you know, half the world population's female and female, women want to see women doctors, like, you know, for many reasons, it should be equal. And, uh, I really enjoyed my time doing orthopaedics when I was a medical student and I like fixing things.

• 17:33Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  So I thought that's what I would do. Only when I started doing the job, I realised that it is such a boys' world. It's such a boys' club. Uh, there is, there was a female registrar at the time, the only female registrar in orthopaedics, and she was treated so poorly. Uh, and just observing that for, as an outsider, it wasn't inviting. And I felt like I'd been battling the gender expectations all my life. And I was like, I don't want that to be the rest of my life.

• 18:08Gemma Bath?

  Well, you found yourself in radiation oncology.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:12Gemma Bath?

  Which is what you were doing at St George's Hospital.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 18:14Gemma Bath?

  Which is where John Kearsley comes in.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:19Gemma Bath?

  What was his position and what was your position? What was the hierarchy there?

• 18:24Speaker 01

  It was very interesting. So I'd only ever worked in tertiary hospitals and big tertiary hospitals. And in tertiary hospitals, the hierarchy is very clear. But I think I didn't quite appreciate how there is some casual element to the job. And so unlike the UK, you can call your consultant by your first, by their first name. And in radiation oncology especially, where people, I feel, they're my people, um, generally radiation oncologists are not aggressive people and lovely. And that's what, what I liked about the people that I worked with in Auckland. Uh, and when I moved to Sydney and started working at

• 19:09Speaker 01

  St George, I didn't have any point of reference for other hospitals, I guess. But it was very clear, as, as soon as I started working there, it was very clear that he was the boss. He was the boss of that department. Um, and anything he said just happened.

• 19:28Gemma Bath?

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• 20:05Gemma Bath?

  Do you remember when you first met John?

• 20:08Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:09Gemma Bath?

  What was he like? Did you have any vibe?

• 20:12Speaker 01

  We can't describe it scientifically, but my sixth sense said there's something not quite right about this man.

• 20:18Gemma Bath?

  Really?

• 20:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, the very first moment I met him.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  Because he, there's something about the way he made eye contact and the way he spoke, very strange. And he, he used to put his hands on a lot of people, like patients, me, nurses, anyone he spoke to. And he, and he used to give lectures about the power of human touch. And just, I felt it was a bit inappropriate. And, and I remember talking to various people in the department, like, why, why is he always touching people? Like, that's a bit strange. And universally, they were, they just laughed it off and said, oh, that's just him.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  He's harmless. And so during the course of the year, I, I think I just started to think that that's normal. That's just normal behaviour for him. I remember when I was doing his rotation. So as registrars, you work with different consultants at a time. And I think from memory, we moved like three monthly terms again and working with different consultants. When I was working with him, I would have been in my, almost, you know, in my fourth out of five year of training. And he used to always say, oh, Dr Lee, Dominique knows exactly what she's talking about. She's such a good registrar to the patients. And because praises are so rare in medicine, I really lapped it up.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  I was like, oh my God, I must be pretty good. You know, I can't believe that no one's ever said this to me. And he, he bought me a textbook, which nobody had before. And I was like, wow, this guy's really amazing. And I think in a way it was his, his way of grooming, which I didn't appreciate at the time.

• 22:01Gemma Bath?

  Was through kindness?

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Through kindness. Isn't that interesting?

• 22:04Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:06Gemma Bath?

  Because it sounds like that's something you were lacking from other leaders.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  Hmm. It's just generally, I think in medicine mostly, I think, we're tough people.

• 22:16Gemma Bath?

  When you look back on that, how does it make you feel knowing all of, you know, like to try and separate? What was praise and what was you grooming me?

• 22:26Speaker 01

  Well, I, I think that is what caused a lot of confusion in my mind for a long time. You get to a point in your life where you feel like you understand the world you live in. So, you know, you and I have an interaction and I say something and I would have a vague idea or reasonable idea of how I think I come across to you. And the assault shattered all of that. So all of a sudden, I couldn't trust my judgment in any situation. Cause I felt that I misjudged this situation with him. And I blame myself a lot for that.

• 23:08Gemma Bath?

  Once you'd been at St George's, you moved on to Conment to Liverpool Hospital.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:14Gemma Bath?

  Which is out west in Sydney. And then the plan was to come back to St George's. And by that point, John had become like a mentor, I guess, to you. And he got in contact with you a few months before you were supposed to return. What was he asking?

• 23:32Speaker 01

  So it rang out of the blue and a registrar's life any day is chaotic. And I remember taking this phone call on a Friday evening on the way back home. Obviously, like Liverpool, I used to also work, part of Liverpool was Campbelltown, which is quite a distance. And I was rushing back home and he called and he was talking about starting up a mentoring programme, like a formal mentoring programme when I came back to St George Hospital. So when this sicko, the sicko thing happens, usually the base hospital, which would have been St George, pays for you to work at a different hospital, right? And so I don't belong to Liverpool, I belong to St George.

• 24:15Gemma Bath?

  Yep.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  He said, he was really excited about me coming back. So that would have been, the assault happened in November. By February, I would have to be back.

• 24:26Gemma Bath?

  Yep.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  And he wanted me to, because then I would be the most senior registrar or, you know, qualified or as a specialist or whatever, in that position, take the lead on it, you know, be the person who became the senior representative of the registrars, I guess. And I was delighted to hear this because I'm like, you know, often as registrars, you feel like nobody cares.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  And I write in the book about how sometimes the consultants don't even remember your name.

• 25:03Speaker 01

  And for somebody to especially ring you and say, oh, we want to start up this mentoring programme. I want you to take the lead on this. It's like, yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, I would love to do that. And because I like taking care of the registrar group as well, you know, I've always had solid relationships with my peers. And so I thought this is a wonderful opportunity for all. And I thought that was just, this is just the best.

• 25:29Gemma Bath?

  He invited you to dinner?

• 25:31Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:31Gemma Bath?

  To chat about it?

• 25:32Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:33Gemma Bath?

  Did that ring alarm bells? Was that a weird thing to do to invite? No?

• 25:37Speaker 01

  I don't think so. And I'd been invited to other people's homes before. With the kind of relationship we had within the department.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Firstly, John Curley was well-known to have people at his house.

• 25:53Gemma Bath?

  Okay.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  And I just assumed his wife was going to be there. I don't know why I didn't think she wouldn't be there. And then it wasn't until I arrived, he told me that she was away and it would just be the two of us. And in that moment, I still remember walking like past the pool to get into his apartment, thinking, what do I do now? Should I, how do I say no to this? And in the end, I, I was like, oh, don't be silly, just.

• 26:23Gemma Bath?

  It's strange that that, that piqued your spidey senses though.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. And I think as women, we brush over or ignore our spidey senses way too often. Because if you, you know, going back to what we were talking about, I'd always known he's a creep, right?

• 26:40Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  But got dulled to it. Hmm.

• 26:45Gemma Bath?

  So tell us about the setup of the night. He invites you over, you get in the door, you realise the wife's not there. How does the start of the evening go?

• 26:53Speaker 01

  It was very casual. He showed me around his apartment. And I remember he showed me his like library book collection.

• 27:06Speaker 01

  One of, the book that he pulled out by choice was like King James Version of the Bible, which was like bounded in gold or something. It was, and it's like, wow. And then he showed me outside, the apartment overlooked, you could see the, not the garden, the, the park. And said, oh, this is where so-and-so lives and this is where so-and-so lives and we sometimes go for walks. And taught me all this stuff. And then he said that, you know,

• 27:40Speaker 01

  in hindsight, I think he was trying to flatter me or something because he said things like, you know, not everybody has what it takes, but you have what it takes, Dominique. You have the killer instinct. And I remember thinking, what?

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Why, what are you talking about? Because does it make sense to you that a doctor is looking for a killer instinct in another doctor? This is like the sort of language that happens sometimes. I just wondered why. Why are you talking to me like this? And then we went on to prepare the meal and he poured a glass of champagne. And I remember telling him, I drove here, are you going to have a little bit? And I didn't have it all. At some point during the dinner, he suggested that I have this red wine, which was the bottle. And I said, I don't really drink red wine because I get headaches from it.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  And he said, oh, it's like a $100 bottle, it's opened. So I felt obliged to drink it.

• 28:51Gemma Bath?

  He guilted you almost into drinking it.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I couldn't say no in that moment, should have, but I couldn't. Cause the whole thing, $800 bottle opened. And so I didn't want to seem ungrateful. And so I had, had a bit. And at some point during the dinner, I started to feel a bit woozy. And from then on, my memory is quite sketchy.

• 29:15Gemma Bath?

  Is it?

• 29:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so, but what I do remember, I remember. And I remember being led out, it was dark, to the park. And at different time points, I couldn't walk. So I remember sitting down on a bench for a while. And then he kind of like dragged me or got me up and somehow got back into the apartment. And there were times when he was massaging me, taking my shoes off. It was very, very strange. But, you know, towards, and then he led me to his bedroom and

• 29:52Speaker 01

  there, like I remember him taking my clothes off and things and.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  Saying no and um and eventually somehow like pushing him away and getting out. And um I and then I drove home.

• 30:12Gemma Bath?

  Do you remember the drive?

• 30:14Speaker 01

  I do. I I was terrified because I knew something's not right. And

• 30:22Speaker 01

  thankfully, I don't think there was any, there were any cars on the road. And I remember driving very slowly. And I lived in Balmain, so from Glebe to Balmain, it's not a long drive, but it's a busy road. I think, I feel like that travel is fairly busy. Um but it wasn't and I couldn't read the time on the clock uh properly. So I couldn't tell the time, but I drove home. Uh and and then somehow I made it safely home.

• 30:55Gemma Bath?

  So when he was assaulting you, you were telling him no?

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:59Gemma Bath?

  And what was he doing, just ignoring you?

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Well, I I don't know.

• 31:03Gemma Bath?

  You can't remember?

• 31:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I can't remember what he was doing. All I know is that at some point I pushed him off and got up. And all I remember is trying to get out of there with my boots on. I couldn't put it on properly and I looked down and I realised that I was like wearing the boots the wrong way around.

• 31:23Speaker 01

  And in the lift, as we were coming down, he said, you're wearing your boots the wrong way. So I changed it there and then. And then I got out and he just, I remember driving away um and looking at the mirror, the rearview mirror, and he was looking at me.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  And um I was just really deeply confused at what was happening. And I remember later, later when I decided to file a report to police and the detective, as I was, you know,

• 31:56Speaker 01

  jogging my memory and describing this happening, he was looking at me and the detective was like, you drove?

• 32:03Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  And I said, if I, if I'd known that I was under the influence, I wouldn't, like clearly. And I'm really regretful that I did. Um and he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's under that, yeah, yeah, you shouldn't have. Of course I shouldn't have.

• 32:18Gemma Bath?

  But I was trying to escape someone who had assaulted me, but also the fact that he let you drive.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 32:24Gemma Bath?

  You know, af- after doing what he'd done, he also let you put your life at risk by driving.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And I did wonder many times, like, I wonder if he wanted me dead, like on my way home. Or like what was running through his mind, because who does that?

• 32:41Speaker 01

  Because not was I, only was I putting myself at risk, it's just public, I could have hit anyone on the road.

• 32:48Gemma Bath?

  By the next morning, had the drug in your system left or?

• 32:51Speaker 01

  No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so. So um I remember waking up and apparently I had made a bunch of phone calls, which I don't really remember. And one of my friends, um Trina, who lived up the road, uh who's, who's another doctor, came pretty quickly, I think, once she spoke to me and she realised how altered I was. And she said I was sitting there and um I'd had a shower, but I didn't remember having a shower. So this, you know, as I've come to learn that if you'd not, if you're naive to this type of drug and if it's mixed with alcohol, it can have very um strange effects on people.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  And one of them is amnesia and um and I just, that day after the assault, like, I don't remember a lot of that day, except what I remember, because the emotion was so strong.

• 33:45Gemma Bath?

  You went to the G P?

• 33:47Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 33:48Gemma Bath?

  And you gave a urine sample?

• 33:50Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 33:52Gemma Bath?

  If you'd have gone alone, do you think you would have done that?

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Absolutely not.

• 33:57Gemma Bath?

  And really, you needed that sample, didn't you?

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. So Trina, who took me to the G P, local G P, um

• 34:07Speaker 01

  she, if I didn't have her there, I don't think we'd be where we are today.

• 34:14Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  I wouldn't, I would have had no idea what's happening with me. I would have firstly not gone to the G P, I would have just sat there in my bed, um confused about what's happening. Uh but also the G P didn't know what to do.

• 34:28Gemma Bath?

  What do you mean?

• 34:30Speaker 01

  So she, she didn't, I remember her looking very um like upset is a, is a word to describe it, like not knowing what to do. Because, and I pray that it wasn't, it would, her discomfort with me in that situation wasn't because of the nature of the problem, like the sexual assault, but because I was one of her own. And she, and then this is like dealing with another doctor and like all of that became, was too much for her. I want, I hope that that's what it was, because I would hate to think that other sexual violence victims who went to, who goes to see G P has, are treated like this.

• 35:12Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  And um my friend Trina insisted that, um suggested that I go to a sexual assault clinic. And um I believe we were advised that on Saturday it was closed. And so then she was like, oh, I don't know what to do. And my friend Trina said, we need to do something, we're gonna go and get like a drug test, look at her. And so I went to the local lab, which can, became a point of contention, um for a urine test. And I couldn't coordinate myself to do it.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  So I had, um I think, two of the lab staff that came and helped me.

• 35:55Gemma Bath?

  Oh, wow.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  To coordinate it. And in a way that was, in hindsight, it was blessing in disguise, because there's this um a chain of custody that needs to, you know, be adhered to with police, uh you know, cases. And because they're the ones who receive the, there was.

• 36:13Gemma Bath?

  There's no denying.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  There was no denying and they helped me get dressed and and and I'm so grateful to this day, they were very, very compassionate, they looked so worried. Days later, um or a week or two later, uh

• 36:29Speaker 01

  the timeline sort of escapes me, I received a phone call from the G P office, not from that initial G P, from a different G P saying that the urine test has come back positive for benzodiazepine.

• 36:41Gemma Bath?

  What is that?

• 36:42Speaker 01

  So benzodiazepine is a, um is a class of drug that is really designed to relax people. And we use it for psychiatric conditions. Um me in oncology, we use it to settle anxiety in patients. It's in small doses, they come in variety of um uh drug type, uh drug um forms, but the class is the same. And the popular, I suppose, or um frequently used date rape drug, Rohypnol is, belongs to this class.

• 37:15Gemma Bath?

  Okay. But the one he had would have been one he had access to from the hospital?

• 37:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I believe so. So in the end, so they test, when, when, when it was determined to be benzodiazepine, then you can go and test for exactly what it is. And it wasn't one of the top, you know, frequently um uh used drugs. And in my mind, I'd always known it would be something that we have access to. And it turned out to be Lorazepam, which is a short acting um benzodiazepine that was used. Um that, you know, again, very lucky that there were, there was a little bit of sample left after the initial test, that the detective had taken to police forensic um to be further tested. And that's where they found the actual drug.

• 38:06Gemma Bath?

  When you found out that there was confirmation that you had been drugged,

• 38:12Gemma Bath?

  what was that like?

• 38:16Speaker 01

  It was like somebody reached in and like ripped my hat out. It really did feel like that, because there was clear criminal intent.

• 38:25Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Because you know, in our society, well, at least in my era, you grow up and you're told that like men do horrible things when they're drunk. So to a degree, you accept that, you know, maybe it was alcohol that did that. But it wasn't, there was clear criminal intent. And, you know, there's a lot of bad people, I shouldn't say a lot of, frequently, you know, we see bad behaviour at workplace. And when you see enough of these, the, the lines get blurred. So you don't know what is reportable and what's not reportable. But I think when I figured out the whole drugging part, it became very evident that this is criminal intent.

• 39:06Gemma Bath?

  With the emotions tied to that, how did they differ to the emotions attached to the assault itself? Someone doing that to your body?

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it just confirmed the nature, the, the betrayal.

• 39:18Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  Because I think when I, if I thought he'd done that because he was drunk and he'd lost control or whatever, it was more acceptable than to have the criminal intent to do it, it was all premeditated.

• 39:35Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 39:35Speaker 01

  Uh then it just made everything so much worse.

• 39:40Gemma Bath?

  You write about feeling shame.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 39:44Gemma Bath?

  Where does that come from?

• 39:46Speaker 01

  It comes from the language that um

• 39:52Speaker 01

  is often used, I think,

• 39:57Speaker 01

  with sexual assault victims um in our community, in the news. And just growing up, like I feel like, you know, growing up, I, I was taught that I must protect myself. Therefore, if something bad happens to you, it's your fault. And I think sexual violence, it's different to other types of violence in a way, because it's a form of dehumanising a person. And in a, I, I, and I struggle to find the language for it, but I feel like it extinguishes that person's light.

• 40:40Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  And that's what had happened for me, like I felt like I'd suddenly become lifeless.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  You know that's happening to you, but nobody knows that. Well, people who are close to you know that, but from the outside, well, you don't have any injuries to show.

• 40:58Gemma Bath?

  Um.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  And that voice, even though I had a lot of really beautiful support. Because you know, when these things happen in a workplace, people are like, oh, he's such a creep. And I didn't know that he was such a creep because everybody told me he was a nice person. And what that language does then is like, oh, he's a creep, but I didn't know that. So then it's, it becomes my fault. So a lot of it just became shame and overwhelming shame. And I was drowning it, drowning in it for years and years.

• 41:34Gemma Bath?

  The other big emotion you talk about is anger.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  Um.

• 41:40Gemma Bath?

  Talk to me about the anger.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, I was really angry and most of it was like, how dare you? How dare you underestimate me? How dare you think that I could be your like personal toy?

• 41:57Speaker 01

  And uh, there was a lot of anger towards him for seeing me in that light. But there was also a lot of anger towards myself for allowing myself in to be in that situation or allowing myself to be um viewed or imagined like that.

• 42:12Gemma Bath?

  Um.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  I talk about how it actually became the drive for me to leave until uh, the end of the trial. Because there were many mornings I would get up and wish I didn't. Uh, and my psychologist, who I think was an angel, said to me. And you know, when these things happen, people love giving you advice. They're like, oh, you need to, you need to do this. You don't, you shouldn't feel that and, you know, try this and try that. And, you know, um, try to think about the situation in this light and, you know. But what I really needed was that validation, all the stuff that I was feeling was okay.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  And that's what, that, that's, that's the permission that my psychologist gave me. And she said, you know, there's a lot of anger here and I don't think we should work on it until you've finished the, the, the trial is over because that's going to be something that's gonna keep you alive.

• 43:12Gemma Bath?

  Um.

• 43:12Speaker 01

  Keep you going. And I just, in that moment, I felt seen and heard. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna hold on to that.

• 43:22Gemma Bath?

  What did you do next? Because obviously in your head, you're like, I've got to go back to this hospital.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  Um.

• 43:29Gemma Bath?

  I've got to face this person.

• 43:30Speaker 01

  Um.

• 43:31Gemma Bath?

  How did you get around that?

• 43:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I think if I had been, if this had happened to me whilst I was working at St George Hospital. Again, the outcome would have been very different. Uh, but because I was working at Liverpool Hospital. Uh, I could confide in the people there and they just, they orchestrated this. A huge amount of effort to make sure that I didn't have to go back. And I'm so grateful for that. And they're my heroes. Uh, but even then after, so I became a specialist some along the way.

• 44:07Gemma Bath?

  Yeah, because you were still working at a very high level in medicine.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:10Gemma Bath?

  While all this is happening.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:13Gemma Bath?

  Which is incredible compartmentalisation.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  I think it's just like you do what you do because, you know, before Covid, even if you were, had pneumonia, you, you would show up at work.

• 44:24Gemma Bath?

  Really?

• 44:24Speaker 01

  Because that's what people do. Um, and you know, I remember like I've broken my ankle, but I still came to work on the same day uh, with crutches. And so, you know, not coming to work, it didn't even enter my mind. And so all this time I'd been working for months and um, and I just stopped talking. I became mute overnight. And I think that was very difficult for people I, I was working with. Uh, because just become a unfamiliar person overnight and they wanted to help, but they didn't know how.

• 45:04Gemma Bath?

  Um.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  And I had a lot of guilt around that too, so I, I left. So I be, I became qualified as a specialist and then I put in my resignation and I, and I left. Uh, and, and I think it really, I think it was heartbreaking for them.

• 45:21Gemma Bath?

  You did go on to work in other areas. You went on to palliative care. It's not like you quit medicine or anything like that, just for listeners.

• 45:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right.

• 45:29Gemma Bath?

  At what point did you decide to press charges? Did you know early on?

• 45:33Speaker 01

  Uh, no, I, I think the moment that changed everything was that positive drug test.

• 45:38Gemma Bath?

  Really?

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Um, and I wish we had better education system or better education um, for our younger healthcare workers, like the nurses and doctors and, you know, physiotherapists. Everybody to know what is actually reportable offence.

• 46:00Gemma Bath?

  Um.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  I didn't know. I didn't know that what he'd done to me without, even without the drugs is reportable offence.

• 46:05Gemma Bath?

  Is a criminal offence.

• 46:06Speaker 01

  Um.

• 46:09Gemma Bath?

  What was that process like for you, going to the police station, talking to a detective? The interviews are insanely long.

• 46:15Speaker 01

  Um.

• 46:16Gemma Bath?

  What was that world like for you?

• 46:18Speaker 01

  Well, I didn't have any expectations, I guess. So I just sat there and answered the questions. Um, uh, and, you know, as doctors, we're pretty good at doing what we are asked. So I just sat there for seven hours giving my statement um, and did everything that I was asked of. What I was surprised about at the time is, you know, we watch a lot of TV. And I thought there'd be like a specialist group of people who look after this sexual violence. Um, uh, type of thing, but there wasn't. So I found that quite interesting and at times frustrating, yeah.

• 46:56Gemma Bath?

  Did they tell you or warn you about conviction rates?

• 47:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, very upfront about that.

• 47:05Gemma Bath?

  Was that helpful or was that unhelpful because you decided to report?

• 47:10Speaker 01

  Um, well, for me, uh, quitting or giving things up, giving up on things has never been in my life. So if I said yes to doing something, I'd always see it through. And um, I didn't know how challenging it would be to get there, but I, I, you know, you know, saying,

• 47:35Speaker 01

  even if the, the, the stats are bad, I just wanted to see it through so that I know that I've done what I could.

• 47:43Gemma Bath?

  Once the charges were public, what was the reaction from your peers? Was, did they know it was you? That it, that the allegations had come from you?

• 47:55Speaker 01

  Uh, it was a, I, I'd really retreated around these years. And so I had very small group of people I spoke to anyway. And my name was suppressed, thankfully. And so, um, the people who knew it, you know, that person was me, were only the people that, you know, I'd, that small group of people.

• 48:16Gemma Bath?

  Your close friends.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  My close friends.

• 48:18Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  And so they supported me all the way through. And then, um, St George people, some people had reached out to me and said, oh, I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. But at that stage, I was like, it's too late. I'm sorry, but it's too late. Because they didn't, they didn't get in contact with me at all during those years.

• 48:41Gemma Bath?

  So they only got in touch with you once there was a sentence, a conviction?

• 48:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, once he pleaded guilty, yeah. And then they said, um, they said that they were advised not to speak to me. But there was one person who, you know, is my hero. Um, this, who supported me all the way through and was compliant with, or really helpful with the investigation and so on. Um, and I'm sure he would have been told the same message, but he didn't care. Wanted to do the right thing.

• 49:16Gemma Bath?

  Coming up, Dominic details what it was like seeing her attacker in court.

• 49:24Gemma Bath?

  That process between charges and trial, you know, it's more than two years of time. It's a lot of waiting.

• 49:33Gemma Bath?

  What was that like for you? How did it affect you?

• 49:36Speaker 01

  Well, I think during that time, my goal was to just see it through. I didn't, I couldn't imagine a life beyond that, so I didn't. And, you know, I'd just often lie in bed imagining how I would end my own life after, after the trial. Cause I, that's, that's where my life stopped as far as I can say. I couldn't imagine going on to live after that.

• 50:04Speaker 01

  Cause I, I just wanted to do whatever it is that I can to protect other women from this man. Cause in my mind, it's impossible that this is the first time.

• 50:14Gemma Bath?

  Because he was in his sixties when he assaulted you. So in your mind, you were like, I can't be the first.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  Nobody, nobody develops a sudden urge to, sudden urge to do something like that in their sixties. I think that's impossible.

• 50:30Gemma Bath?

  Well, it obviously had a huge effect on your mental health. You were also in a relationship at the time. It affected that.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, um, I, I was in a long-term relationship. Just couldn't be with him anymore. Didn't know how to be around him, cause I thought I was broken. And, uh, and I didn't want, I didn't want my broken self to be

• 50:55Speaker 01

  with him, cause I didn't think it was fair. Or him.

• 51:02Gemma Bath?

  But he knew about the assault?

• 51:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And he wanted to be around, he wanted to be so supportive, but I just couldn't accept it.

• 51:12Gemma Bath?

  Nightmares?

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Hmm. I had lots of nightmares. I had poor sleep for years and years. Uh, and continues to be a problem.

• 51:21Gemma Bath?

  Really?

• 51:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. But I'd have these recurring nightmares of that drive home. Like, you know,

• 51:30Speaker 01

  I'd be driving on that road in the, the, the blurred vision, what the road looked like. And I'd be driving and all of a sudden, like I'm in the backseat and nobody's driving but the car's going. And just terrified. And just different versions of that dream recurring over and over. And, you know, there were other, other types of nightmares too, but it was, I could, the body remembers

• 51:59Speaker 01

  that kind of, I think, life-altering trauma. And it's, it's own way of trying to protect you. So you're always on alert. And when you're in that, in that mode, you can't rest.

• 52:12Gemma Bath?

  Was it in that waiting period that you were diagnosed with PTSD?

• 52:17Speaker 01

  No.

• 52:18Gemma Bath?

  That was much later?

• 52:19Speaker 01

  It was later, later, later. So, um, after he pleaded guilty, many months after that, he was, uh, sentenced. He was given a jail sentence. And then, um, they made a, um, you know, he

• 52:41Speaker 01

  appealed and the, the judge, um, got him out of jail. And I was really angry yet again. I was really upset. Because if you read the judgment, perhaps I shouldn't have read it. I was really angry because it just undermined, um, or minimized my

• 53:00Speaker 01

  A, existence and B, the suffering. And it all, it felt like he'd suffered enough. And, you know, this is a recurring thing probably with many victims, but because my name was suppressed, my side of the story was never told. Uh, and so the media coverage was all about what he did, who he is and what, what he's lost. Uh, and meanwhile, I had given my entire life

• 53:32Speaker 01

  to protect other women. And there was no, not that I need to be recognized for that, but there was no grief for that.

• 53:40Gemma Bath?

  Do you think you could have handled being in the media?

• 53:43Speaker 01

  No, absolutely not.

• 53:44Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 53:44Speaker 01

  Absolutely not. I was just not in the right state of mind. And I'm forever grateful for the anonymity that I had and, you know, um, breaking that was my own choice.

• 53:56Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 53:57Speaker 01

  And in a way that gives me, it's a, it's an empowering decision.

• 54:04Gemma Bath?

  He pled guilty in the end, at the very last point. And then he was allowed to have a bunch of character witnesses stand up in court while you were there and tell you about how amazing he was.

• 54:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:17Gemma Bath?

  What was, what was that like for you? Thankfully, that's no longer a thing that happens in New South Wales.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 54:23Gemma Bath?

  That's been abolished. Thank goodness. Well done.

• 54:27Gemma Bath?

  But there's a reason that was abolished, wasn't it?

• 54:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 54:30Gemma Bath?

  Pretty challenging for you as a victim to listen to that.

• 54:33Speaker 01

  Oh, it was awful. It was just as awful if I could, um, compare the, the two, the assault and this moment. They're on par.

• 54:43Gemma Bath?

  Really?

• 54:44Speaker 01

  It was just as damaging, cause I was so shocked that this person, these people were happy to write, what an upstanding citizen this person, all these contributions, blah, blah, blah. And they'd never seen him behaving appropriately.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  When they know nothing about the situation.

• 55:02Gemma Bath?

  And they weren't there.

• 55:03Speaker 01

  They weren't there and he'd plead guilty and all of it, none of it made sense to me. And so what that said to me, I guess, is whether they intended it or not, was that um, his career, his life was worth saving, mine wasn't. That's how I interpreted it. And so to someone whose self-worth is already crushed by the assault, I think that's the worst thing you can do to a person, cause there I just, I just fell apart.

• 55:32Gemma Bath?

  Well, he ended up getting two plus, two and a bit years, only served nine months. I can definitely tell why you're angry by the nine months. When you heard the two years initially, was that justice for you? Was that, or after everything you've gone through?

• 55:49Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know what, as a layperson, I don't know what, um, jail sentence is appropriate. And so, um, what I found really disappointing is, was the context of the judgment.

• 56:02Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  Like, there was a lot of things about what he'd done. Cause for me, I didn't understand through common sense, like somebody who abuses power, they're a lot more guilty than someone who is, um, I guess assaulted their peer. Or like someone just on the street or whatever, cause there was that power imbalance. And I think that's worse, not something to give a discount for. And so I felt really confused about that. Uh, and, you know, rather than feeling just, um, victorious, I felt just validated. So no one could ever now say she made it up. Cause I know that was part of the conversation for many people.

• 56:44Gemma Bath?

  What people?

• 56:46Speaker 01

  Heaps of people.

• 56:47Gemma Bath?

  Like hospital people?

• 56:48Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 56:50Gemma Bath?

  So it was like gossip?

• 56:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. I know it was. And I'd never been part of any gossip, so that was the other terrifying thing.

• 57:01Gemma Bath?

  The other big element that you wanted to happen was to have his medical license stripped. I would have assumed that would happen

• 57:09Speaker 01

  Automatically.

• 57:11Gemma Bath?

  As soon as he pled guilty and was sentenced, but that's not the case?

• 57:14Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 57:16Gemma Bath?

  So he was still practicing?

• 57:18Speaker 01

  No, he didn't practice.

• 57:19Gemma Bath?

  Okay.

• 57:19Speaker 01

  Um, but he was suspended. When he, when, when he pleaded guilty and the thing was over, all over the news. But the actual stripping of the license didn't happen for years. And I only know of the outcome because, um, somebody forwarded me, uh, a, a journal or magazine article that described what the initial, um, crime was. And there is no other story like that in Australia, right? I'm the only doctor who has ever had, you know, criminal conviction against another doctor. And so then when I read that, I was like, oh, that's him. And the, the tribunal, um, judge who, um, you know,

• 58:06Speaker 01

  led that, wrote, you know, his non-disclosure order. So couldn't be named, you know what I mean? Um, but it was very obvious because there were no other cases like that.

• 58:19Gemma Bath?

  I'm, I'm shocked that you're the only doctor.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I am.

• 58:24Gemma Bath?

  Because, I mean, listeners will have heard earlier in the episode, the statistics of people that have admitted that they've been sexually assaulted, harassed at work as a doctor, by other doctors, is very high. The fact you're the only one with a conviction. Why?

• 58:43Speaker 01

  So many reasons. It's just, it's a silencing culture. And for most people, because you strive, you give it everything you've got to get to where you are, just a lot to lose. And, uh, when I was going through my, the motion, there, there was no presence. You know, there were no, there were stories of women or I know of women who had, um, who had talked about it and then moved on. Or like people who, naturally, if you look at the research, even though the rates of sexual violence is very high in medicine, uh, the act is, um,

• 59:24Speaker 01

  it is sadly always the victims that are walking away from their career. And my motivation for writing the book is for there to be, for me to do something to contribute in this space. Cause I don't think it is right that a woman, and that's how I thought too. I thought my career is finished when I went to the police. Um, I don't want another woman to ever think that. And I, and I think there is a social responsibility for those of us who work in the health sector to protect those women or, you know, those who are hurt, to let them know that you don't go. We're gonna keep you here. We'll, we'll do whatever it takes, which is what my heroes did.

• 1:00:07Gemma Bath?

  Since his conviction, has there been anyone else? Are you still the only doctor?

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  I'm still the only doctor.

• 1:00:18Gemma Bath?

  It's just sad.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  It's so heartbreaking.

• 1:00:20Gemma Bath?

  It's heartbreaking.

• 1:00:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And since I've decided to lose my anonymity and share my story public with the public, you know, obviously naturally people have ways to reach me and share their stories. And the type of stories that I hear, just mind blowing. So heartbroken every time I open these emails.

• 1:00:42Gemma Bath?

  Really?

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  You know, people come up to me at conferences and speak to me. Um, and this is why I can't stop, you know, cause my ability to speak to you like this or speak to the public, that in itself is such a privilege. Cause no one can take away that validation the court has given me.

• 1:01:02Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:04Gemma Bath?

  Did that validation, did it remove those feelings of shame, of self harm?

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:01:11Gemma Bath?

  No.

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:12Gemma Bath?

  What did?

• 1:01:14Speaker 01

  Time and, and just spending a lot of time in your own head figuring it out.

• 1:01:22Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  And it is people. So, you know, naturally when people are, you know, experience assault or violence, it's human nature to retreat and try and not put yourself into that sort of vulnerable position again. So the way of doing that is by just not making new friends. Right?

• 1:01:40Gemma Bath?

  Keeping your circle small.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, keeping your circle very, very small. And for me, that's what I did. And, um,

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  my very close circle of my tribe, they were so supportive, but I've also met some exceptional people along the way. And I think even though I was fantasizing about dying, there was a part of me that really wanted to live.

• 1:02:05Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 1:02:06Speaker 01

  You know, I would have been thirty four, thirty five when I became pregnant. And I thought I wouldn't be fertile, cause there's a lot of people struggling with infertility at that age.

• 1:02:19Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  And I just thought, oh, you know, no way, it's just not gonna happen. And I became pregnant. Uh, and it was becoming a mother that really changed me, my will to live. And, um,

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  some of the things that I've learned in my recovery, which is difficult to talk about in this like relatively short timeframe, I guess, is I thought, um, my honour had been stripped and like just ripped apart. And I talked about like, like my life being extinguished. I don't know how else to describe it, but I feel like I, part of me died once when I was assaulted, leaving that bloody house or that apartment. Um, and, and, and second time being given that character reference.

• 1:03:11Gemma Bath?

  Really?

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I thought I'd never be the same. And I realised, um, many, many, many years later, uh, doing leadership courses. And there was this particular, uh, leadership workshop that I did. And one of the exercises that I had to do was to write down my core values. I'd never done anything like that before in my life. And, um, I wrote down like five or six things and, um, and then I was told that, you know, you put, put one down at a time on the floor. Um, and the person who was leading the workshop came and said to me when we were down to three, it's like, oh, you're really clutching on to those. That must mean a lot to you.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  And I looked at, looked at them and it was like integrity, honesty and justice.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  And over time I've come to understand that, you know, our worth and our value, uh, is lies in how we live.

• 1:04:14Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  Uh, not what we achieve.

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  There are lots of people who, who see life differently, uh, but for me, having that realisation, uh, gave me this self compassion that I didn't have to do all these things for. I didn't have to have hundreds of pages on my CV to have that recognition that courage was granted by his peers, because it didn't really matter. I don't wanna be friends with those people anyway.

• 1:04:51Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  And, um, I've lived a life that honours my values and no one can take that away from me. And I realised that, like, that's my self-worth.

• 1:05:03Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  And so I hope that, um, that, you know, my story resonates with other survivors and, you know, those who wanna support them and it helps them realise that, you know, the most important things in life, sometimes we chase the wrong stuff and life throws you a curve ball and you realise what the most, most important things in life are.

• 1:05:31Gemma Bath?

  It throws you curve balls, but you still became the doctor you wanted to be.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:05:36Gemma Bath?

  In the specialty you wanted to be in.

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:39Gemma Bath?

  So despite, you know, the train tracks going a bit off in all directions.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:48Gemma Bath?

  You are an example of someone who, who kept the career.

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:51Gemma Bath?

  And kept that dream as well.

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And I was, I'm very fortunate because I know that I am a unicorn. Uh, you know, for people who experience sexual violence at work. Um, and, you know, the other thing that I do outside of my doctor work is physician wellbeing. I, I love to support doctors through coaching and, um, holding workshops and sharing our vulnerable stories helped me realise that even though, you know, I was so miserable in my own misery, other people have their, their stuff as well.

• 1:06:31Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 1:06:31Speaker 01

  And, um, rather than hiding the stuff that we, the, the scars or the wound, I think if we were to share our stories and try and lift each other up and, um, support each other, I think the world would be such a, so much a better place.

• 1:06:52Gemma Bath?

  When you decided not to be anonymous anymore.

• 1:06:55Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:57Gemma Bath?

  I can imagine that would have been scary. Has it been helpful? Like what, what's it done for you? Has it helped in your recovery?

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, definitely.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  I thought, and many people have told me as well, like, I hope you can move, move on with your life. I'm just like, oh, I don't know how I would move on because this is such a big part of my life, the trauma. Cause I think with most life altering traumas, your life stopped, your time stops there. Even, and everybody kind of, it looks, feels like everybody moves on, but you don't.

• 1:07:34Gemma Bath?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:35Speaker 01

  And even if you eventually do, something triggers and you're right back there, right? Um, and I hadn't quite finished in my healing journey when I decided to share my story. And again, that was sort of a knee joke reaction to, um, news, you know, articles about the sexual abuse rate in the UK and, um, me feeling so angry because it had been over 10 years, but it's still the same. It's always the women that are doing the leaving. And, um, and I wanted to do something. And because I didn't sign an NDA, my stuff is all public record, I thought I should. And so I spoke to a journalist at Guardian and, um, the, the story came out.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  And the night before, um, the publication, I actually thought I would, I might die. Like I had this panic attack.

• 1:08:27Gemma Bath?

  Really?

• 1:08:27Speaker 01

  An anxiety attack that I'd not had before. And I didn't know how the world would receive it. I didn't know how the hospital that I work in would receive it. And how, how would I face all these people, knowing that they've seen my article? Uh, and as soon as it was published, like my phone started ringing with all these incredibly beautiful messages from people I know who didn't know about the, the assault and also from other victims. And, you know, I, um,

• 1:09:00Speaker 01

  one nurse wrote to me and said, thank you for sharing your story for those of us who were never heard or believed.

• 1:09:10Speaker 01

  And strangely, there was this kind of a release that I'd done the right thing. And sometimes the most scary things, even if, if it is the right thing to do, it's better doing than not doing.

• 1:09:22Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 1:09:23Speaker 01

  And, um, sharing my stories, like, you know, opening up the wound and putting kind of like salt on it.

• 1:09:31Gemma Bath?

  Yeah, hundred percent.

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  Or lime on it, or lemon. Um, but I'm encouraged by, uh, the lovely responses or the, or the hugs that I get from, cause I know there are lots of people who are wishing me well.

• 1:09:45Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 1:09:45Speaker 01

  Uh, from afar. And they send me messages and even if they don't, I, I know. Uh, I, the, the conferences where I've shared my story or, you know, the book, um, launches that I've done, in the mix, there's always people just crying the whole time.

• 1:10:02Gemma Bath?

  Really?

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  And I'm like, I know that comes from somewhere.

• 1:10:06Gemma Bath?

  Hmm.

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  And I'm just glad and grateful that I can be their voice.

• 1:10:14Gemma Bath?

  Thank you to Dominique for sharing her story with us. You can find a link to her book, What's Been Broken Is All The More Sharp, in our show notes. Thanks so much for listening. I'll be back next week with another True Crime Conversation.