#2493 - Protect Our Parks 16

Shane Gillis is the co-host of “Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast,” a creator and star of Netflix’s comedy series “Tires,” and one half of the sketch comedy duo “Gilly and Keeves.” His most recent special, “Beautiful Dogs,” is streaming on Netflix.www.netflix.com/title/81635847https://www.youtube.com/@MSsecretpodwww.youtube.com/@GillyandKeeveswww.shanemgillis.comMark Normand is the co-host of “Tuesdays with Stories!” and “We Might Be Drunk” podcasts. His new special, “None Too Pleased,” is streaming on Netflix.www.netflix.com/title/82155387www.youtube.com/@TuesdayswithStorieswww.youtube.com/@WeMightBeDrunkPodwww.youtube.com/@marknormandwww.marknormandcomedy.comAri Shaffir is the host of the “You Be Trippin’” podcast. His seven-episode live storytelling series, “The End,” is available now from YMH Studios.https://theend.ymhstudios.comwww.youtube.com/@youbetrippinpodwww.youtube.com/@arishaffirwww.arishaffir.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  The Joe Rogan Experience.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

• 0:12Speaker 02

  Let's go. We're back, boys. Oh, yeah.

• 0:16Speaker 03

  We are back.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  We're Comedy Oasis.

• 0:19Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 0:20Joe Rogan?

  What's the story, Morning Glory?

• 0:21Speaker 02

  It's been almost a year. Wow, it's flying by. What are we, 12 now? Is this 12th episode?

• 0:27Speaker 03

  No, I think we're way...

• 0:28Speaker 02

  16?

• 0:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 0:29Speaker 02

  What?

• 0:29Speaker 03

  About forty.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  Damn, that's a lot of drinking.

• 0:31Joe Rogan?

  How many times have we played Free Bird?

• 0:33Speaker 03

  Oh, we're playing it again.

• 0:36Speaker 03

  We're gonna go to the exact same episode we always did. Yeah, we're gonna talk about coming out of the closet.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  Play Metallica.

• 0:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, play Metallica.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  R. Kelly.

• 0:45Joe Rogan?

  So it turns out that that lady, that was a scam, that was fake. The lady who forced the guy to fuck her. Was it JP Morgan?

• 0:52Speaker 02

  What?

• 0:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, wasn't real.

• 0:54Speaker 02

  She was hot.

• 0:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I know.

• 0:55Speaker 03

  Was that in the last one we did?

• 0:57Joe Rogan?

  Jamie said it's fake, right? It's fake?

• 0:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, the news is going around that it's like, there was like, the lawsuit is not accurate, apparently. It's like a retaliatory lawsuit.

• 1:06Joe Rogan?

  So he just claimed that she said all those things and she made him fuck her.

• 1:10Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  What a pussy.

• 1:11Speaker 03

  Wait, is he an Indian guy?

• 1:12Joe Rogan?

  I believe so.

• 1:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  Gross.

• 1:14Speaker 03

  It does read like an Indian guy now that I'm thinking about it.

• 1:16Joe Rogan?

  Like a scam?

• 1:16Speaker 03

  Like the horniest guy ever. Just coming up with the hottest scene.

• 1:23Joe Rogan?

  She called them cannons.

• 1:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:25Joe Rogan?

  Once a lady calls her tits cannons... Who, have you ever heard of a girl call her tits cannons?

• 1:30Speaker 03

  It's such an 18-year-old or 16-year-old boy thing.

• 1:33Speaker 02

  I've never even heard cannons.

• 1:34Speaker 03

  Cannons, because the one goes...

• 1:37Joe Rogan?

  Guys talk about a girl's cannons when she's nowhere near them.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  I've heard cans.

• 1:42Joe Rogan?

  Cans.

• 1:42Speaker 03

  Sure, yeah.

• 1:43Speaker 02

  And torpedoes.

• 1:44Joe Rogan?

  I've heard cannons, I think. I'm pretty sure I've heard cannons.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  Nick Cannon.

• 1:47Joe Rogan?

  Jugs.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  Nick Cannon, yeah.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  Jugs.

• 1:50Joe Rogan?

  Jugs, jugs.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  Sweater puppets, fun bags, knockers.

• 1:54Speaker 03

  Just boobs and tits.

• 1:55Joe Rogan?

  But a lady saying that?

• 1:57Speaker 03

  That's no lady.

• 1:57Joe Rogan?

  I'm sure, she said...

• 1:59Speaker 03

  She did?

• 1:59Joe Rogan?

  And she said, "I'm sure your fish head Asian wife doesn't have cannons like this."

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Fish head?

• 2:07Speaker 03

  That's what he said?

• 2:07Joe Rogan?

  That's what he said, she said.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  What's that to me more movies? He's claiming it's that?

• 2:13Speaker 02

  Striptease.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  No, no, when she was the boss and she made the guy fuck her.

• 2:16Speaker 02

  Disclosure.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Disclosure.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  Oh, I used to yank it to that one.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  Oh, gosh, she was hot.

• 2:21Speaker 05

  Article almost made me yank it this morning.

• 2:23Speaker 02

  I know, right?

• 2:23Speaker 05

  Just laying in bed seeing that Twitter.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  Fish head, ooh.

• 2:27Speaker 05

  Damn, this is hot as hell.

• 2:27Joe Rogan?

  Well, she's hot.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Indian guys should write more slut.

• 2:29Speaker 03

  This guy's a writer, yeah.

• 2:30Joe Rogan?

  So if she got, if you got fired and he made up that story, like, what should the repercussions be?

• 2:36Speaker 03

  Jail.

• 2:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  You can't just do that.

• 2:38Joe Rogan?

  Especially, well, for sure, if it was a guy, the guy would be fi- if it was a guy and a woman claimed that the guy said these terrible things, the guy would be fired, he would be shamed, but no one's mad at that lady.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 2:53Joe Rogan?

  No one's mad at that lady for making him fuck her.

• 2:55Speaker 02

  No, we love the lady.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Even in the moment before it was, came out as a hoax, when they thought it was true, her boss was like, come on, I can't be doing that.

• 3:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  That's about as bad as it got.

• 3:04Joe Rogan?

  Or he pulled her to the office and go, let me see him.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Let me see his cannons.

• 3:08Joe Rogan?

  Let's go to these cannons. Bust out the missiles.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  We just gotta do our research, due diligence, I just gotta see the cannons.

• 3:14Speaker 05

  Which also, we should, just to, he might, he might be telling the truth, is it, are we sure it's fake yet?

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Are we sure it's fake?

• 3:22Speaker 05

  Can a boy dream?

• 3:24Speaker 03

  What a great, what a great way to have no one believe you is if you intentionally use words like that, like, I would never speak that way.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  There's been a string of middle, uh, middle-aged whores going around lately, have you noticed that?

• 3:36Speaker 03

  Well, it's back.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  It's back, like the reporter chick who's been banging the football coach, uh, Kristi Noem was cheating on that guy with the tits.

• 3:44Joe Rogan?

  Well, that guy with the tits was fucking.

• 3:46Speaker 05

  That guy with the tits rocks, dude, those are cannons.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  The chick who wrote the RFK article that had a deeply emotional relationship with him.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then, and then it was, that was a second one, I, it was crazy, then there was a second one she had like that, she, she likes to get her nervous subjects.

• 4:01Speaker 05

  The texts, the texts were wild, though.

• 4:03Speaker 02

  Really?

• 4:03Speaker 03

  Deeply emotional.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Pull them up?

• 4:05Joe Rogan?

  That, both back and forth?

• 4:06Speaker 05

  His version was wild? Wait, this is a while ago, right?

• 4:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is a couple of years ago.

• 4:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was something that like, let my river flow into your.

• 4:12Speaker 02

  Woo!

• 4:13Speaker 05

  It was, it was odd.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  It's like a Dave Matthews song.

• 4:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  Does he, does he text like he talks? Is it all jumbly?

• 4:22Joe Rogan?

  But see, for a lady, it's like a free shot. They never have to worry about getting in trouble. Like, no one's even gonna be in tr- she's not, no one's gonna be mad at her as a journalist even. It's only she's discredited.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  Nah. My husband was like, "I'm, this is kinda lame."

• 4:36Joe Rogan?

  The husband? She's married?

• 4:37Speaker 03

  Didn't love it.

• 4:38Joe Rogan?

  Oh, she's married? Oh, she's a freak.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:41Joe Rogan?

  The reporter with RFK.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 4:43Joe Rogan?

  Allegedly.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  He was a heroin addict, too. He's a fun dude.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  Fun. Got after it.

• 4:49Joe Rogan?

  I like him.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Lived his life.

• 4:50Joe Rogan?

  I like him a lot.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Didn't use a stutter.

• 4:52Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 4:53Joe Rogan?

  It's not a stutter, it's a, it's a vaccine injury.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 4:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  He didn't use to talk that way?

• 4:58Joe Rogan?

  No, from the flu vaccine. Yeah, you see videos of him from the 90s, he had a great voice.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Great voice, black hair.

• 5:04Speaker 05

  Are you reading the texts? They're hilarious.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  It's like Prince Charles, any dude who tries to be like romantic, it's like, you don't know how to do it.

• 5:10Joe Rogan?

  It's a poem?

• 5:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:12Joe Rogan?

  As soon as you're writing a lady a poem, it's over. How do we know this is true?

• 5:16Speaker 03

  I think it was, it was verified. For what I remember is verified.

• 5:20Joe Rogan?

  Olivia Nuzzi.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  Nuzzi.

• 5:22Joe Rogan?

  She sounds like a freak.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, she's sharing it, so it could be from anybody.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  She sounds like Staten Island trash.

• 5:27Joe Rogan?

  Your open mouth, your open mouth is awaiting my harvest.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  Oh, there we go.

• 5:32Joe Rogan?

  She looks like fun.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Not too shabby.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  Don't spill a drop.

• 5:37Joe Rogan?

  Your open, Y R? Who writes Y R for your? Come on, really?

• 5:42Speaker 03

  It's trying to relate to the youth.

• 5:43Joe Rogan?

  Your open mouth is awaiting my harvest? That doesn't even make sense.

• 5:47Speaker 02

  You think he eats ass, 'cause that's processed.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  This is my favorite one. "I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth. I'll hold your nose as you look up to me to encourage you to swallow."

• 5:58Speaker 02

  Whoa!

• 5:59Speaker 03

  "Don't spill a drop. I am a river, you are my canyon."

• 6:02Speaker 02

  Wow, maha, baby.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  Wow, my love.

• 6:06Joe Rogan?

  I'm not buying this. That sounds like literature.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  But I can't have a Pop-Tart?

• 6:13Joe Rogan?

  You can't have Fruit Loops with the good colors.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Dissing it in her mouth.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  I don't want these great Fruit Loops, dude. That's the fun.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  You ever seen Canadian Fruit Loops? They're bland and dim and dull.

• 6:27Joe Rogan?

  That's what they're gonna sell here now. It's over.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  We used to be a country.

• 6:31Joe Rogan?

  It's over. There's gotta be a way to make them prettier.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:34Joe Rogan?

  Without giving you ass cancer.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  There's gotta be some way.

• 6:37Joe Rogan?

  Bro, a lot of people getting ass cancer lately.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  I saw that.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  Really?

• 6:41Joe Rogan?

  I know a dude who's like, he's in his early 30s, he's got stage 3 ass cancer. Yeah. But he also took four shots. Four of them.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Four what shots? Ass shots?

• 6:52Joe Rogan?

  Vaccines.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  And that gives you ass cancer?

• 6:54Joe Rogan?

  It can give you cancer. Allegedly.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Did he boof the shots?

• 6:59Joe Rogan?

  That's the way to do it if you really wanna get massive.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  Don't tell me how to take the vaccine.

• 7:03Joe Rogan?

  Stuck the actual needle right into the hole.

• 7:06Speaker 03

  In West Hollywood, they're just gonna plunger it.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Jimmy boof it.

• 7:11Joe Rogan?

  He got the boof it.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Well, Trump almost got a shot the other day.

• 7:18Joe Rogan?

  Isn't that crazy?

• 7:19Speaker 03

  What happened?

• 7:20Joe Rogan?

  That's the third assassination attempt on that dude. Fucking guy runt and ran.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  You didn't see it?

• 7:25Speaker 03

  Bobby kinda mentioned him passing.

• 7:27Joe Rogan?

  Assassination attempt?

• 7:28Speaker 03

  Not really.

• 7:29Joe Rogan?

  It was at the White House Press Correspondents Dinner.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  Where Reagan got shot.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Was it Michelle Wolf?

• 7:33Speaker 02

  Same hotel.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 7:35Speaker 02

  So that must, the TripAdvisor must be rough on that one.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  At the Correspondents Dinner. Was there a comedian there?

• 7:40Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 7:41Speaker 02

  Oz the Mentalist.

• 7:42Joe Rogan?

  Oz the Mentalist, yeah. Oz the Mentalist was the host. You'd think he would've saw it coming.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  You'd think.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  He probably kept his mouth shut. He's like, "I think we're gonna go attack two more Arab countries."

• 7:52Joe Rogan?

  You know what's hilarious? Metzger goes, "Did you see the fake assassination attempt? Don't you know? Don't you know about Gilgamesh?"

• 8:00Speaker 03

  And you're like, "What?" He always brings in his references.

• 8:03Joe Rogan?

  The Rothschilds.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  Bro, what are you saying? I don't know any of the references.

• 8:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you don't know?

• 8:08Speaker 02

  If Metzger can't get it up, he's like, "Israel." Everything's Israel.

• 8:19Joe Rogan?

  Pretty good excuse, I'm gonna start using. Yeah, it's solid. Some of those Kanye clips you showed me are fucking wild.

• 8:25Speaker 03

  He's the best.

• 8:25Joe Rogan?

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• 9:53Joe Rogan?

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• 10:38Joe Rogan?

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• 10:42Speaker 02

  He's so fun. What's nice was the shooter was mixed race. That's nice. Is that nice? That's nice, because you're always like, "Don't be white, don't be white." Or "Don't be black."

• 10:51Speaker 03

  And don't be Arab.

• 10:52Joe Rogan?

  Be a combo.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  What was he?

• 10:53Joe Rogan?

  Don't be an Arab, just a American liberal.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 10:56Joe Rogan?

  Just the standard American liberal. Had enough of the, uh, whatever you want to say he is. Dictator.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  Oh, right, right. Fascism.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  Kings.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  The whole thing.

• 11:07Joe Rogan?

  Fascism, pedophile.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:09Joe Rogan?

  You know?

• 11:10Speaker 02

  He was like a smart guy, a valedictorian.

• 11:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  He was like a scientisty guy.

• 11:14Joe Rogan?

  I think he was a teacher.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Must be extra tough for those guys, because they're like so, like, you haven't gotten into a fight since you were seven. And then you're gonna get a gun and try to like, kill a high level person. It's like, what a step up.

• 11:25Joe Rogan?

  Well, he, he shot a Secret Service guy.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  Really?

• 11:27Joe Rogan?

  Hit him in the vest, yeah.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  Oh, shit.

• 11:29Joe Rogan?

  They don't know who shot who. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay.

• 11:32Speaker 03

  You're saying the Secret Service guy shot himself?

• 11:33Joe Rogan?

  Not at all. It might have been friendly fire.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  Trying to get out.

• 11:37Joe Rogan?

  It might have been friendly fire.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Was it that lady again?

• 11:40Speaker 03

  Yes, I think she was there.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  The lady was there.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  The one that looks like me?

• 11:43Joe Rogan?

  We were joking around about it in the green room. Imagine if she was like, I know I fucked up way back in July, but look, guys, I'm better. I've been working out.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:52Joe Rogan?

  And then this is their second assignment.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Ooh. We didn't talk about this part yet, the tweet? This is the guy?

• 11:59Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, the weird, the Time Machine tweet. Yeah, this is nuts. So the Cole Allen guy tried to kill Trump. It's not inside the White House, though, right? It was at a hotel.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:07Joe Rogan?

  Okay, an ex-account for 2023 wrote a single tweet with that name.

• 12:11Speaker 03

  With what?

• 12:11Joe Rogan?

  So just wrote Cole Allen. From 2023. The profile belongs to Henry Martinez, a NASA scientist who's missing. The background image from a website called Time Machine. If you de-digitize it, the 2024 assassination attempt photos appears, but with a hole in the head instead of the ear. The profile picture is a green toad in a tuxedo with a glass. Exactly like Trump in the assassination attempt. Either it's the most elaborate psyop in history, or someone from the future is leaving clues in the past that only makes sense once the events happen.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 12:44Joe Rogan?

  Okay.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Why does time travelers keep trying to kill me?

• 12:48Joe Rogan?

  But wait a minute, how is that picture the same? That is not the same. That's just a bunch of colors and you could decide it's the same.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  No, you gotta decode it.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  Oh, it's like a maniac guy.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  You gotta squeeze your eyes together. It appears if you squeeze your eyes together.

• 13:00Joe Rogan?

  Sailboat. What do you like one of those things where you could see like words in a.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was always a sailboat or guitar.

• 13:07Joe Rogan?

  Always. Mall rats. Do you think that makes sense, Jamie?

• 13:11Speaker 00

  This picture part of it does not make a lot of sense, I don't think.

• 13:15Joe Rogan?

  But it's weird that the guy, the tweet is nuts.

• 13:17Speaker 00

  The tweet is strange enough.

• 13:18Speaker 03

  From two years ago, so he's trying to work up the courage for that long. Twenty three, yeah.

• 13:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and then the fact that it's a frog, it's one of those Kek guys. Right. Those nutty fucking pranksters.

• 13:30Speaker 03

  It's funny if he was just tried to search somebody's name.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  He just got it right. He was just like, ah, he's a cool guy.

• 13:38Joe Rogan?

  Is that the only tweet this guy ever made?

• 13:40Speaker 00

  I think so.

• 13:41Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, weird.

• 13:43Speaker 00

  There is a bunch of random Twitter accounts that have tweeted random names just one time, so I don't know like what the odds of that happening are, or pretty slim.

• 13:52Joe Rogan?

  I believe he was.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Like, these are the eight guys we have trying to like work with mentally, so like one of them will be activated and try to kill somebody, so let's get it, let's get it tweeted ahead of time.

• 14:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so that guy really was, is that factual though, that the guy really was a NASA scientist, Henry Martinez?

• 14:07Speaker 00

  But, well, so when the people were looking up his history, this, he had a brief, I think like an internship at JPL, uh, NASA, you know, Jet Labs or something.

• 14:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  And I think the other guy did too, that, I don't know that anybody knows more than.

• 14:21Speaker 03

  It is weird where you find out a lot of these guys have these weird ties, like.

• 14:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  That guy who tried to shoot Trump in Pennsylvania was in a BlackRock commercial. Oh, yeah.

• 14:30Joe Rogan?

  Weird. What? It's all connected.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  I did a lot of commercials when I was coming up and I, BlackRock never, I didn't get an audition for any of those.

• 14:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, right?

• 14:39Speaker 03

  How you get that commercial?

• 14:40Joe Rogan?

  I would love to get that gig.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  It's gotta be non-union.

• 14:42Joe Rogan?

  Not only that, like, you definitely get brought into the fold. Hmm, he was teacher of the year, this guy.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  So did this guy get a shot off? Was he close enough to get a shot off?

• 14:50Joe Rogan?

  Allegedly, Jamie said allegedly he shot a Secret Service guy. How are these guys getting so close? But it might have been that lady, the fat lady might accidentally shot him.

• 14:58Speaker 03

  Maybe trying to get her gun out.

• 14:59Joe Rogan?

  No shit. Oh, it might have been a sick P320, he might have shot himself.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  She's handsome.

• 15:05Joe Rogan?

  It's it's just crazy that they don't have better security.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, what the hell?

• 15:11Joe Rogan?

  How the guy get in the hotel with a gun? Like, how are you not checking every room? How are you not like checking everyone's bags? If you know that the president and all Marco Rubio, all these fucking people are gonna be there? You don't Oz the Mentalist? And you don't have someone checking guns?

• 15:25Speaker 03

  Why is there better security at the improv on Black Comic Night?

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Throw up a metal detector.

• 15:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's just crazy that they don't check for guns.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  That's wild.

• 15:37Joe Rogan?

  On a day where it's like the president is gonna be there, you didn't check for guns?

• 15:40Speaker 03

  I get it if it's like a UFC sniper or somewhere, it's like we can't check everybody like that. It's like 20,000 people, but like this is so small.

• 15:46Speaker 00

  They're saying he did shoot him, but I don't, that's this was the first.

• 15:49Joe Rogan?

  Secret Service agent did not shoot himself. I don't think there's any question of what happened here.

• 15:53Speaker 05

  That video they're playing is the AI video.

• 15:56Joe Rogan?

  Well, no, this is the real video, which is blurry. And then AI, they enhanced it because this fucking hotel has shitty old cameras.

• 16:03Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 16:04Joe Rogan?

  Which is crazy.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  So that guy running with the guy?

• 16:06Joe Rogan?

  By the way, guy's putting in some fucking work there, there's some speed.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  He's got wheels.

• 16:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he moves. That guy can move.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Half black, half black.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  Teacher, he can shoot, teachers, you know, they work at a school.

• 16:22Joe Rogan?

  I mean, what did he think was gonna happen? He was gonna get past all the secret security guys, get through the crowd, find Trump behind the stage and shoot him? Like, how did he think he was gonna get to him?

• 16:31Speaker 03

  I think these guys don't think it up. I bet they go like, I'm gonna shoot him, then everyone's gonna love me.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're gonna be Luigi or some shit.

• 16:37Joe Rogan?

  It might be schizophrenia too.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he might be out of his fucking mind.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  But he lived, right? He's in jail?

• 16:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he lived.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  The guy who shot Reagan was like, taxi driver told me to do it.

• 16:47Speaker 05

  Well, he rules.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  So it was like, they're not all there.

• 16:49Joe Rogan?

  He's out.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Was that Hinckley?

• 16:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Hinckley's out.

• 16:52Speaker 05

  He's playing music.

• 16:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he plays music.

• 16:53Speaker 05

  I think we've covered this on there.

• 16:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he plays love songs. It's terrible, terrible.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  From that to Manson songs? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he was inspired by Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster made him shoot like, there it is! I will be your man. Oh, that's a threat. 2023, recent, recent release. Let's hear 2023.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  I like his job title.

• 17:15Joe Rogan?

  Let's hear it.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  Criminal.

• 17:16Joe Rogan?

  I wanna hear I will be your man. Let's hear what Hinckley's, what his jams are like.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  You're gonna have to pay for this.

• 17:22Joe Rogan?

  We have to pay for that? No.

• 17:23Speaker 00

  We'll have to edit it, we'll see.

• 17:24Joe Rogan?

  Okay, we'll see.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 17:26Joe Rogan?

  He's got his name on the guitar, just in case you don't know who shot Lincoln.

• 17:35Joe Rogan?

  Shoot him.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, he's trying to.

• 17:50Joe Rogan?

  It's an MKUltra.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  I misunderstood.

• 17:52Joe Rogan?

  That's what MKUltra does to a man.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, he looks like his brain's been washed.

• 17:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 17:56Speaker 03

  Like they just poured bleach in his ears.

• 17:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  They're gonna release MKUltra files this week, I think.

• 18:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Ooh. I bet.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, alright.

• 18:04Joe Rogan?

  They were supposed to release UFO files.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  A lot of black lines coming in that one.

• 18:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, whatever happened to the fucking UFO files?

• 18:10Speaker 03

  Did he do Kennedy yet? Is Kennedy out?

• 18:12Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  What?

• 18:15Joe Rogan?

  What, JFK?

• 18:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:16Joe Rogan?

  Turns out there was some stuff in there that we couldn't see. CIA. Yep, maybe some other ones.

• 18:24Joe Rogan?

  Congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna Lances, House hearings on MKUltra next month. What is that, a gang? No.

• 18:31Speaker 03

  I did see.

• 18:32Joe Rogan?

  What's MKUltra? You don't know what that is? No. That's the mind control experiments that the CIA did in the 1960s, 70s.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  People going to hookers. Good, honest people going to hookers and they took advantage of them.

• 18:41Joe Rogan?

  That's one part of it. Yeah, that was Operation Midnight Climax. They ran brothels.

• 18:46Speaker 03

  What a good name.

• 18:47Joe Rogan?

  Great name. Whoa. Solid name. But that's, that's, that's absolutely proven. That's all from a Freedom of Information Act request and from some documents that they found. What was the guy's name that was like the head of MKUltra? Jolly West. Yeah, and then he went and sold Jack Ruby and jail. Yeah, Jack Ruby went crazy. Started saying they were lighting Jews on fire, I'm in hell. Like, they gave him acid. He's also, he was connected to Manson. Yeah. Yeah. Like, this guy was running mind control operations all throughout the country. Wow. They ran brothels where they gave the Johns, uh, acid and the, the ladies would come out and give the Johns acid and they would wash through a two-way mirror and then film them. Whoa.

• 19:25Speaker 03

  See how they react.

• 19:26Joe Rogan?

  Fucking hell of a night at the brothel. Right? That's so sick.

• 19:30Speaker 03

  This lady's pussy is all weird, Josh.

• 19:32Joe Rogan?

  Talking to me. Trying to get laid, next thing you know, you're fucking seeing Jesus. Seeing cannon. Jesus is a candle. If you lean into it, that's a good night. Right? Trying to get a hooker, you go, oh. If you lean into it. Meanwhile, your wife's at home waiting for the milk and bread.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  You come back, what the fuck is he? I was supposed to be gone for 30 minutes.

• 19:51Joe Rogan?

  Just trying to get a handjob. Fuck is he? It's the worst lie ever. The CIA, they drug me. What do you want? How many marriages would completely dissolve if prostitution was totally legal?

• 20:02Joe Rogan?

  Ah.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  It'd be a lot easier to do.

• 20:04Joe Rogan?

  Are they talking? That's the thing. Are the hookers talking?

• 20:07Speaker 03

  No, but guys are bad at covering up.

• 20:09Joe Rogan?

  It's like Uber ratings, you know? Oh, that would be bad. Like some Uber drivers, they won't shut the fuck up.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  I would never want to see my passenger score.

• 20:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I don't want an XL either.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  For prostitutes?

• 20:22Joe Rogan?

  You know, but I mean, if they, if they made prostitution completely legal.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:25Joe Rogan?

  And then they had scores. Do you don't think gals would do it? I think they would. I think there'd be plenty of gals that would sign up. Oh, plenty. If prostitution was only fair.

• 20:34Speaker 03

  And it's illegal.

• 20:36Joe Rogan?

  How so? Oh, yeah, they are.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  So, of course, if you took down the barriers.

• 20:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  They would keep doing it.

• 20:41Joe Rogan?

  Isn't it legal in New York City now?

• 20:43Speaker 03

  Prostitution?

• 20:43Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Kind of.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  I've never been caught.

• 20:45Joe Rogan?

  What is the? How many guys you blown?

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Run the fucker! I was a guest in this!

• 20:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  He was right there.

• 20:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was a layup. Jizz in that beard. He was right there. Um, but they did do something where they like decriminalized sex work in New York? Yeah, I think you're right, yeah. Let's find out, JMo.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  Sex work. I love when they read into that.

• 21:05Joe Rogan?

  Sex work. They always have unhoused.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  It's sex work until one of them's fucking your husband, then it's a hooker.

• 21:10Joe Rogan?

  Exactly. And if you call a girl a whore, she gets mad. Like, which one is it? Sex worker. Call a girl sex. You're a fucking sex worker. Hey, that's a legitimate profession.

• 21:20Speaker 03

  It's a pretty funny way to do it, yeah.

• 21:21Joe Rogan?

  Prostitution is illegal in New York City, but enforcement and politics around sex work are in flux. Ooh.

• 21:27Speaker 03

  You're in flux.

• 21:28Joe Rogan?

  With active debates about decriminalization and new protections for sex workers and trafficking survivors. Anyone else heard? Well, that's kind of crazy, isn't it? If you have protection for the survivors, so you're saying that they're victims, but then you're also decriminalizing it. Hmm. So you're making it okay to do? Right. But you're saying that they're victims?

• 21:47Speaker 03

  Nah, and like when it's where it is legal, they go like, no one's gonna abuse you, because you can go, you don't need a pimp.

• 21:52Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  Because you're going in public here.

• 21:54Joe Rogan?

  Right. So, that's, well, listen, if you can give someone a massage, you should be able to jerk them off. It doesn't make any sense. You got that right, Robert Kraft. Poor guy. Old bastard. I met that guy. You can't help think about that when you're shaking his hands, like, sorry, they got you, sir.

• 22:12Joe Rogan?

  Sorry, they got you. Just a normal thing.

• 22:14Speaker 03

  It happened to so many people.

• 22:15Joe Rogan?

  A hundred percent. They set him up.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  He wasn't even getting laid.

• 22:18Joe Rogan?

  No. It's handy. Oh. And he's like eighty.

• 22:20Speaker 03

  I never got a massage handy.

• 22:22Joe Rogan?

  Me neither.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  I'm down.

• 22:24Speaker 05

  Every single massage I got, I've been like.

• 22:25Joe Rogan?

  You should have responded to those Epstein emails.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  There's an app for it now called tug or something. I think so.

• 22:32Joe Rogan?

  Don't ruin it for everybody that's on tug.

• 22:34Speaker 02

  Get on it.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  Somebody told me how to figure out which one of the handjob places, which one are real. Epstein told me. He goes, uh.

• 22:40Speaker 02

  Huh?

• 22:40Speaker 03

  You know, no, no.

• 22:42Speaker 02

  What?

• 22:42Speaker 03

  Jiu-jitsu guy, yeah. And he goes, you know, the ones with like locks on the door? He goes, that, there's no business doesn't want you in there. If you have to buzz in, they're like, hold on, stop jerking, there's a cop here.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  My friend goes on a lunch break, like, it's pretty popular in New York.

• 22:57Speaker 05

  People are totally, when I moved to Philly, every single person was like, yeah, that's normal.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Totally normal.

• 23:01Joe Rogan?

  Are the girls gross?

• 23:03Speaker 02

  They're Asian.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  There's, I think there's a range.

• 23:06Speaker 02

  And sometimes you get like a Ukrainian skank. Nice.

• 23:10Speaker 05

  Fucking sex slave.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:13Joe Rogan?

  Would you imagine though?

• 23:14Speaker 03

  Skank you are, have some respect for yourself whore.

• 23:16Joe Rogan?

  How many relationships would just completely dissolve if prostitution was 100% legal?

• 23:21Speaker 02

  I think he has done already.

• 23:22Speaker 03

  Thailand, it pretty much is, and girls fuck on the first date.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  Ooh, date? You taking them out?

• 23:27Speaker 03

  No, not those, regular girls, cause like, if I make you wait, you're just gonna get a hooker.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  Really?

• 23:32Speaker 03

  So like, I better put out.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  I like that, competition.

• 23:35Joe Rogan?

  They seem a little looser sexually anyway, in Thailand.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:39Joe Rogan?

  You know, with the whole ladyboy thing and.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  Right.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  They're pretty chill with everything.

• 23:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they're pretty relaxed, except for kicking the shit out of people. They're really good at that.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  They're really good at that.

• 23:47Joe Rogan?

  They're really, it's weird, weird, like a laid back society is so good at fucking people up with martial arts.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  You ever look at ladyboys using their training? Like before they turned into full ladyboys?

• 23:57Speaker 02

  Pull it up.

• 23:58Speaker 03

  They trained kickboxing.

• 23:59Speaker 05

  What, ladyboys do Muay Thai too?

• 24:00Speaker 03

  When they were younger.

• 24:01Joe Rogan?

  God damn. There was one famous one who transitioned to a woman, but kept fighting men and started getting fucked up. Because now she didn't have any hormones anymore and, or balls. And so she's just getting the shit kicked out of her as a girl when she was dominating as a guy.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 24:17Joe Rogan?

  It's kinda sad. Like, the one thing that you're really good at, other than sucking guys dicks, is fucking people up.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  No, you can't do that. No, I'm in on the streets.

• 24:27Joe Rogan?

  See, that's a guy.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  I'm in on the streets.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  Is it?

• 24:30Joe Rogan?

  Yes, that's a guy.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  Oh, right.

• 24:32Joe Rogan?

  That's a guy.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  Ladyboy.

• 24:33Joe Rogan?

  That's a guy dressed like a.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  No, I'm in on the streets.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Oh, shit.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  Like, if you pick on one of the streets, they all come after you, but then they use their training.

• 24:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. No, I would imagine.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  And kick the box the shit out of you. And you're like, I just wanted to beat up a hooker. Why are these half men coming at me? These dainty, dainty men.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  All right, you need a drink.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  I got one.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  I'll go dig a cat.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  Hey. Comedy, baby.

• 24:56Joe Rogan?

  We're back.

• 24:56Speaker 00

  The parks are being saved.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  Dude, all over Latin America, anytime I got recognized, they'd be like, they'd be like, when are we gonna get a let protect our parks? I'm like, I'm not really in the area right now. As soon as I'm out of Uruguay, I'll, I'll let them know.

• 25:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I would get questions from people. It was always that.

• 25:13Speaker 02

  Same.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  When's the next protect our parks?

• 25:16Joe Rogan?

  Anytime I run into someone somewhere.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  Globally, too. Australia, I got it. New Zealand, I got it. It's all over.

• 25:22Speaker 03

  It is fun, though, when somebody like last week, somebody was like, when's the next protect our parks? I was like, April 30th. And they're like, what?

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  Keep it quiet.

• 25:30Joe Rogan?

  I did that, yeah. It's very fun. The world needs us.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Good to be back.

• 25:35Joe Rogan?

  Goofy ass fake fucking world out there.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Can't believe how many we've done.

• 25:39Joe Rogan?

  Cannons.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  Cannon, cool. We got that going for us.

• 25:43Joe Rogan?

  I wonder, I wanna talk to that guy. I wanna find out what really happened. Interview that Indian fellow. So apparently, they're saying he got fired? Is that what the story is, Jamie? He got fired, then he just made up that story?

• 25:53Speaker 03

  You can't just make a public post that your, your boss tried to fuck you anymore?

• 25:56Joe Rogan?

  Not anymore. It all changed.

• 25:58Speaker 00

  I think that it was a lawsuit that was filed. I don't, I'm not saying that the lawsuit is fake, like he, but they're just saying that it's horseshit, is what people are saying.

• 26:07Joe Rogan?

  Does the lady still work there?

• 26:08Speaker 00

  I believe what I read was that JP Morgan investigated, didn't find it credible, and she still works there, yeah.

• 26:14Joe Rogan?

  That doesn't seem likely if that was a guy. If that was a guy, I don't.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  We're gonna put you on leave while we look this over.

• 26:21Joe Rogan?

  A hundred percent. A hundred percent.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  And then like Trevor Bauer, like, oh, he found out it's fake. Like, can I get my job back? They're like, nah.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  He works for the Long Island Ducks.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Trevor Bauer is a Cy Young, the highest award for a pitcher.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  Phenom.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  He got some chick, pretty much told all her friends, like, I'm gonna go get money out of that guy.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  Yep, we got the text message to prove it.

• 26:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, he kind of proved it all, but Dodgers, was it Dodgers? I don't remember. It was like, hey, you can't work here anymore.

• 26:46Speaker 05

  He was with the Brewers.

• 26:47Speaker 03

  Brewers?

• 26:48Speaker 05

  No, I don't remember.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Moved to Japan.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  Moved to Japan, tried to pitch there, and he's like, I'm good. He told MLB, he goes, I'll pitch for free, and I'm a Cy Young winner. And everyone's like, eh.

• 26:57Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  Lost three hundred million.

• 26:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:00Speaker 02

  Now he's playing for the minors in Long Island.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  He loves playing.

• 27:03Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:05Joe Rogan?

  And what happened to her?

• 27:07Speaker 02

  I think she got like a slap on the wrist.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think she was like, he was like, don't come after me anymore, don't come after anybody else anymore.

• 27:12Joe Rogan?

  That's it?

• 27:13Speaker 02

  She did photos with black eyes, she got makeup done. He beat me up, he beat the shit out of me, it was all made up.

• 27:18Joe Rogan?

  It's pretty.

• 27:19Speaker 03

  Crazy story.

• 27:20Joe Rogan?

  Monsters out there.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  But the crazier thing is like, if you are the, if it is the Dodgers, say it is, to not go, hey dude, we were fooled, I'm sorry.

• 27:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 27:29Speaker 03

  Here's your contract back.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  He should sue them for that.

• 27:30Joe Rogan?

  How old is he now, though? He's lost years of his career.

• 27:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:33Joe Rogan?

  Probably over, right?

• 27:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  He's still great. He just pitched a no hitter.

• 27:38Speaker 03

  Really?

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  Playing against nine year olds.

• 27:40Joe Rogan?

  That's exciting.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  So spicy.

• 27:45Joe Rogan?

  How old is he, Jamie?

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Thirty-five?

• 27:49Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy because like, when it all happened with him.

• 27:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's thirty-five.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  He's thirty-five now.

• 27:53Joe Rogan?

  It was about, it was about eight or nine years ago, wasn't it?

• 27:56Speaker 00

  No, twenty tw- uh.

• 27:57Speaker 02

  Twenty twenty?

• 27:58Speaker 00

  Twenty-one is when he was suspended.

• 27:59Joe Rogan?

  Five years ago he was suspended, so he lost his prime.

• 28:02Speaker 03

  Thirty-five.

• 28:03Joe Rogan?

  That's prime.

• 28:04Speaker 02

  Ruined his life.

• 28:04Speaker 00

  He had just won the Cy Young.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Ju- he's just won it.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  Brutal.

• 28:08Joe Rogan?

  God. Oh my god.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  So sorry, P.

• 28:12Joe Rogan?

  And all she gets is a slap on the wrist?

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  He was pretty much like, go away.

• 28:16Speaker 00

  She violated some part of the settlement and had to pay him three hundred grand?

• 28:20Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 28:22Joe Rogan?

  That'll cover his fucking monthly whatever.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, his zen.

• 28:26Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ. That's crazy.

• 28:29Speaker 03

  Got a couple zins out of it.

• 28:29Joe Rogan?

  She only, she only got fined three hundred grand, she cost him three hundred million.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 28:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, that's crazy.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  You, whatever you accuse someone of, if it's fake, you should get that punishment.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  Or you're trying to get.

• 28:40Joe Rogan?

  No, I completely agree, yeah. Absolutely. That's never the case, though.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Well, she can't play for the Dodgers.

• 28:48Speaker 05

  Who's he with? That's the thing that bothered me about this. It was the Dodgers? Yeah, when that happened, it was the Dodgers. He's been on a bunch of teams, though. Why did I think it was the Brewers? Because it was his last name?

• 28:56Speaker 03

  Bauer, Bauer Brewer.

• 28:58Joe Rogan?

  So if he went to jail for it, that's what she should go to jail for. Because if she's accusing him of sexual assault.

• 29:04Speaker 03

  He was, I think she was just suing him, suing him. And then public, public, um, whatever it is.

• 29:10Joe Rogan?

  Destruction of reputation?

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:12Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God, that's awful. Poor guy, you should have him on. I would. That'd be a great convo. Holler at me, son.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  He's also, I think, pretty funny.

• 29:20Joe Rogan?

  No way. Bro, you gotta get a sense of humor after that. If you survive that, you survive that, I bet you have a wicked sense of humor.

• 29:26Speaker 03

  Planet Japan, where they all have tiny strike zones?

• 29:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. That's one thing I think we could all attest to. It's not the only thing. You survive a cancellation, you come out on the other end just a little bit more.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  Funny.

• 29:36Joe Rogan?

  You got a little funny.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Nothing really matters.

• 29:38Joe Rogan?

  A little more pop, a little more pop to the punchlines.

• 29:42Speaker 05

  He's throwing 102 in Japan. Fuck his list.

• 29:45Joe Rogan?

  Look at Kanye.

• 29:46Speaker 03

  How many kilometers an hour is that?

• 29:47Joe Rogan?

  Kanye recovers from getting canceled to have the biggest concerts in human history. Yeah, so far. Standing on top of the world with clouds. Yeah. Bill Cosby must be amazing right now. He's blind, though, he can't read his notes. Ah.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Ooh, it's tough to read off a teleprompter. You're a blind comic.

• 30:04Joe Rogan?

  But I don't think he ever read anyway, I think he was all in his memory, anyway, but. He, I, I don't even know if he writes, or if he just like sits down and comes up with these stories. Because he's like a story guy. Yeah.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  He is pretty good, I loved, heard an album, it was like, it really paints a picture, but then you're like, then you're listening to like Kenneth's and you're like, oh, this guy, Cosby is very slow.

• 30:22Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's a different style, it's like listening to, you know, John Denver versus Metallica, you can't, you know.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Solid comparison.

• 30:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you gotta be in the mood. Yeah, both good. Rocky Mountain High or.

• 30:40Speaker 05

  He was blasting it last night.

• 30:42Joe Rogan?

  Bro, that fucking concert in Moscow?

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Hundred.

• 30:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's the best ever.

• 30:45Joe Rogan?

  That is the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. We'll all do it. Fuck, yeah, Norman, don't be scared of the repeating. It's gonna be a loop of that shit.

• 30:55Speaker 05

  That's fine, it's the sickest shit that ever happened.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  It's a yearly reminder.

• 30:59Joe Rogan?

  We're gonna close out with a live Free Bird from 77, fuck you.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  Give me a beer.

• 31:07Joe Rogan?

  There it is, look at this.

• 31:08Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 31:09Speaker 05

  We're doing it again.

• 31:10Joe Rogan?

  Bro, come on.

• 31:11Speaker 05

  Why'd you do that?

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Deja Ju.

• 31:14Joe Rogan?

  Imagine how pumped these people are, communism is dead for a little bit, and then Metallica's on stage.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  It's so said that rock is dead.

• 31:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, we were talking about that.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's all queefy now.

• 31:24Joe Rogan?

  When was the last time, where's the new rock bands, the new Zeppelin?

• 31:28Speaker 03

  White Trash been around for a while, those are some of the smaller bands.

• 31:31Joe Rogan?

  Right, but where's the big ones? It used to be Van Halen, it used to be the biggest part of music, Rolling Stones.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  Shredding.

• 31:38Joe Rogan?

  AC/DC.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  I know.

• 31:41Joe Rogan?

  I mean Aerosmith, it used to be the biggest part of music was rock and roll. What the fuck, that's kind of crazy.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  Bodega Cat, ladies and gentlemen, available at fine bodegas all across Manhattan. You got that right, fatty, get a bottle. But yeah, now it's country, country's huge now.

• 31:58Joe Rogan?

  Which is fine, but what happened to rock?

• 32:00Speaker 02

  I know.

• 32:00Speaker 03

  What happened to rock?

• 32:01Joe Rogan?

  I love country, I have no problem with country getting huge.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, what happened to rock?

• 32:04Joe Rogan?

  What happened to rock?

• 32:05Speaker 03

  Who are the biggest?

• 32:07Speaker 02

  They said garage bands are coming back with kids, which is kind of means nature is healing.

• 32:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:14Speaker 02

  That's a good sign.

• 32:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, kids are tired of playing video games, want something real. But the, uh, the, the, the thing about, that doesn't make sense about rock music is everybody still loves it.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 32:24Joe Rogan?

  Everybody still plays covers.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  Oasis is doing giant arenas all over the country.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  Old songs.

• 32:29Speaker 02

  I took acid at that Oasis concert. Really? Which one, where'd you go? MKUltra? Chicago.

• 32:34Speaker 03

  Chicago.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  I got MKUltra. Yeah. Yeah, I was just watching the concert, like, oh shit.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  How fun is music on acid?

• 32:40Speaker 02

  It's the best. See, I haven't done acid since college, I'm, I go shroom now. Acid.

• 32:46Joe Rogan?

  Acid's responsible for.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  It'll get away from me.

• 32:48Joe Rogan?

  Grateful Dead's entire career.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  Mmm. I see how it worked.

• 32:51Joe Rogan?

  I mean, apparently if you listen to the Dead on acid, it's a totally different thing.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  They were playing to acid.

• 32:57Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  Like, they weren't playing for you to not like it on acid, you're supposed to, like, if you guys are on acid, let me entertain you for a second.

• 33:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you're supposed to be on acid, it's like those, uh, ayahuasca eka rose. You listen to them normally, they're not that interesting, but if you're tripping on DMT, they're pretty fucking incredible.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  I got some of Roger Waters, we were doing a podcast here, me, Segor and Burton, you, and then you're like, what are you doing tomorrow? You want to stay, Roger Waters is playing, I was like, oh, I gotta, it's so funny, it's like, I was like, I gotta leave, he go, why? I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't know, but I'm like, but at my hotel, I have to check out tomorrow, he goes. Extended.

• 33:28Joe Rogan?

  Personal guests of Roger Waters.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  Change our flight to the next day. And I'm like, yeah, all right. But then it was like, I gotta find acid on one day's notice.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:36Joe Rogan?

  You gotta shout out Roger Waters, because he was way ahead of everybody, calling out the genocide, way ahead of everybody.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  A long time ago.

• 33:43Joe Rogan?

  A long time ago, calling out how they're treating the Palestinians.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Really got kicked up.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  He's a little frosty with the heaves, though, is he not?

• 33:49Speaker 03

  He got frosty with me.

• 33:50Speaker 02

  Oh, there you go.

• 33:51Joe Rogan?

  He got frosty with you.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  He was livid at me.

• 33:53Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that was, you were fucking with him.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  What'd you say?

• 33:56Joe Rogan?

  He was on acid and he was fucking with them after the show. We were all hanging out and Roger was drinking. This is, uh, it was summer October.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  It was summer October. We had a one day permission to do one thing.

• 34:06Joe Rogan?

  Exemption, exemption.

• 34:08Speaker 03

  Come on, guys. I'll give you guys each a drink if you let me do one, one piece of paper.

• 34:12Joe Rogan?

  I chose the devil's cabbage. I was scared of the acid, because who knows where it came from?

• 34:16Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 34:16Joe Rogan?

  I'm like, all right, I got a business to run. I can't go crazy right now.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  I did some. Tony's ex did some. And I remember we were back at the hotel and I was looking at this picture and I was like, damn, this is a crazy video.

• 34:26Joe Rogan?

  Ari is full on weeping in the middle of the concert.

• 34:29Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 34:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, full on, this is amazing.

• 34:32Speaker 03

  Balling.

• 34:32Joe Rogan?

  This is amazing.

• 34:34Speaker 00

  He came up and sat next to me and I'm like, what's wrong with Ari? He's fucking freaking out. I'm like, dude, are you okay?

• 34:42Speaker 03

  I was not okay.

• 34:43Joe Rogan?

  He didn't even know what the dose was. He just took whatever the guy gave him.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  It was fresh too. I had to let it dry in the AC of the car over there. I'd hold it by the vent. I'd let it dry some.

• 34:52Speaker 02

  Fuck, it was like blotting paper?

• 34:53Speaker 03

  Blotted, yeah.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  It was so good.

• 34:57Speaker 02

  See, that's the thing with that. You don't know when it's gonna end.

• 34:58Joe Rogan?

  You don't know where it came from.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Also, you don't really know when it's gonna start. I took a little. I took a little and I was like, this shit's not working. Give me another one.

• 35:04Speaker 02

  Oh, that old move.

• 35:07Joe Rogan?

  Boy, that old move was...

• 35:08Speaker 03

  I stared at a painting in my hotel room for 12 hours.

• 35:10Joe Rogan?

  How many guys ruin their fucking entire life by doing that with edibles?

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 35:15Joe Rogan?

  Got that second one. I don't feel shit. They took that second one and then they can't escape.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  This is how those stories start. Every time you're like, maybe I'll take the other half.

• 35:23Joe Rogan?

  And they roll right into schizophrenia land. Hey.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  In my early...

• 35:26Joe Rogan?

  Maybe your mom's not really your mom.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  Early years of comedy, I pitched a show and Lionsgate picked it up. And I flew out, they flew me out to LA to pitch... Switched the show to Netflix and Amazon. It was the biggest deal of my life. And the night before, I did Tripoli's show, and he gives you a bag of weed stuff. You know, and I was like, I can't do weed. I'm a wuss. I'm a lightweight. And he goes, well, take some CBD. And I go, okay, I'll do that. I want to get some sleep. So I chugged a bottle of CBD, and it was THC.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  I woke up, the bed was vertical. I was hanging on to the post. It felt like the carpet was sinking with me. I was holding on to a chair. I skipped it. I couldn't go. It was too high. I was high for like 14 hours.

• 36:07Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:08Joe Rogan?

  You should have went.

• 36:09Speaker 02

  My manager's like shaking me, like, you gotta go. And I'm like, I can't do it. I can't face him.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  Like Lee Siatt.

• 36:13Joe Rogan?

  That's so funny. You should have went.

• 36:16Speaker 02

  I, oh, God, I would have sold a different show.

• 36:17Joe Rogan?

  I would have shoved my hand up your ass and operated you like a puppet. I would have made you go.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  I would have sold like Duncan Trussell's show.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  But I couldn't face him, and I think they dropped me after that.

• 36:30Joe Rogan?

  Duncan is the absolute best at saying, like, fucking around. Like, he was going, hold on, I just got a text from my wife's boyfriend. How's he doing? Not good. Turns out he's got syphilis. Poor guy. I hope he gets better. He's just casual. After a year away, Canelo Alvarez is back in the ring October 31st, facing undefeated Christian Mubili live on Dzone. And DraftKings Sportsbook has you covered for the fight. With DraftKings Sportsbook, your number one sportsbook for live betting, you can stay connected as the action unfolds and makes your picks in real time. Whether you're locked in for the main event or watching the full card with friends, DraftKings Sportsbook gives you another way to follow the fights you already care about.

• 37:14Joe Rogan?

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• 37:28Speaker 06

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• 37:48Joe Rogan?

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• 38:31Joe Rogan?

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• 38:53Speaker 05

  There's nothing worse than getting that high. Like McCusker, McCusker used to make weed gummies. When we lived together, he would make homemade.

• 38:59Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 38:59Speaker 05

  He would like try to make shit. It was crazy. And then I'd just be sitting there playing Xbox, and he'd be like, here, take some of these. And I'd just try them out. Uh, but one time he left, I did a show at a casino outside of Philly. He gave me a bag of gummy bears. Obviously, I got fucking hammered. And I was just in my hotel room, just, I ate them. I just ate as many as I could.

• 39:18Joe Rogan?

  Did you know that they were pot gummy bears?

• 39:20Speaker 05

  I did, I did. But I was hammered. I was like, fuck it, I don't give a fuck.

• 39:25Speaker 05

  They're so good. I just killed that fucking hotel lobby. That was great. And then, uh, I woke up and it was in a casino with no, my room had no windows. It was in the fucking basement. And I didn't know my buddy was also, I was like, you can sweep my room. He was on the floor. He was this kid that opened for me in the morning. I woke up and I was still high as fuck. And I was just like, ah, ah. In the darkness, I hear somebody like, Shane? I was like, ah.

• 39:52Speaker 05

  That's something waking up high is wild. Wake up high sucks. I was like, who's it?

• 39:56Joe Rogan?

  You remember the days where Joey Diaz would have people in the church of what's happening now? And he would swap out the 25 milligram animals for 250s?

• 40:04Speaker 05

  He did it to me. There's like a package like this, whatever. And I see it, it says 25. I'm like, you know what? I'm a 10 guy, but when I'm with Joey Diaz, I'll go 25. And then I ate it, but then something nags in your head. You're like, why was it 25? It was like...

• 40:17Joe Rogan?

  Why was it tilted?

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Why was it tilted a little?

• 40:19Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  And then I was just like, kept talking, I was like, picked it off and you just see 250.

• 40:23Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 40:24Speaker 03

  Joey, you killed me.

• 40:26Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he would give Lee Siya 500s? What? He would give him 2 500s?

• 40:30Speaker 03

  We just got Lee again on 4, we did a 420 episode and Lee was like, oh yeah, back to that.

• 40:35Joe Rogan?

  Indy 500. 500 milligrams? Yeah.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  It's crazy dude.

• 40:39Joe Rogan?

  That blows. You know what's crazy? JMo, Jamie can do 1000 and it barely hits him. Shut up.

• 40:43Speaker 03

  Is that true? You have no body fat.

• 40:45Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no, he's got some weird enzyme.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  You gotta go with a slice of pizza or something.

• 40:48Joe Rogan?

  Doesn't work on him. I've tried everything, man.

• 40:49Speaker 03

  Wow, okay, fair.

• 40:50Joe Rogan?

  Damn. Yeah, it just doesn't work with his spectromi. Yeah, anything more than 10.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  Some people, every once in a while.

• 40:55Joe Rogan?

  His super brain just shuts it off, like, nope, not interested, bye. Wow.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  Mine does not, dude. If I take 10 milligrams, I'm like, oh.

• 41:02Joe Rogan?

  Same, same.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  Well, the UFC's are always great. We take like 50 in just like 6 hours.

• 41:06Joe Rogan?

  Well, you guys took acid at the UFC before.

• 41:09Speaker 03

  We were up in the bat seats, we took acid and me, Red Band and Diaz, and then Rogan, it was kinda early on and Rogan's like, where are you guys? We're like, we're up there and he's like seeing us, like, are you guys flying? We're like, we're fucked, dude. And he's like, where are you? And he goes.

• 41:22Joe Rogan?

  Half of my day was thinking about them being on acid, watching these crazy fights.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  Can you imagine?

• 41:27Joe Rogan?

  It made me jealous. It felt like the Colosseum. Yes.

• 41:30Speaker 03

  Forrest Griffin came in and everyone's cheering, I'm like, why are you cheering? You might get hurt. You animals.

• 41:35Joe Rogan?

  This is like 2005 then.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:36Joe Rogan?

  Whoa.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:38Joe Rogan?

  I'd just seen Brock Lesnar on acid. Terrifying. He's a warrior, that guy.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  Bro.

• 41:43Joe Rogan?

  Like a Viking. You ever see his daughter? Yeah. His daughter's a champion shot putter.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  What?

• 41:48Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 41:49Speaker 03

  No, wait till you see it.

• 41:50Joe Rogan?

  She's a fucking athlete. Oh, shot put. She throws that iron ball.

• 41:57Speaker 03

  He does shooting a gun.

• 41:58Joe Rogan?

  Bro, she's. Skeet shoot.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  She looks a lot like him.

• 42:00Joe Rogan?

  Oh. You gotta see her.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  It's definitely related.

• 42:03Joe Rogan?

  Watch her, yeah, 100%. Look at those jeans. But watch the video. So go to, get to a.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 42:09Joe Rogan?

  See if you can find a video of her throwing it.

• 42:10Speaker 03

  Mark, Mark's talking shit.

• 42:11Joe Rogan?

  She's a beautiful, sturdy lady.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  Brock Lesnar? Mark's talking shit, not me, bro. I agree, Shane, I have nothing but respect for you and your family.

• 42:17Joe Rogan?

  Oh, is she albino? I like him sturdy.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  She's a Viking woman, I know you.

• 42:20Joe Rogan?

  Look at this. That is a pale honky. Bro, that's crazy. Imagine blowing your shoulder out trying to fucking throw that thing? Woo wee. Imagine her grabbing your balls.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  Hotchy, machy.

• 42:32Joe Rogan?

  Can't go over the line.

• 42:33Speaker 05

  Don't go over the line.

• 42:33Joe Rogan?

  Make a warrior with those jeans.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 42:36Joe Rogan?

  You're proud buffalo.

• 42:37Speaker 02

  What's the mom look like, huh? Abductress?

• 42:39Speaker 05

  She's hot.

• 42:39Joe Rogan?

  She's just a tank. She's a, she's a pro wrestler.

• 42:42Speaker 05

  She's a fucking transformer.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  She's a bulldozer.

• 42:48Joe Rogan?

  He's, she's Optimus Prime.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Get the mom up.

• 42:50Joe Rogan?

  The mom is hot.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah?

• 42:52Joe Rogan?

  He got all, she got all Brock's jeans.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  Right.

• 42:54Joe Rogan?

  That's the mom.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  Whoa!

• 42:56Speaker 05

  Oh, Sabo?

• 42:57Speaker 02

  My lord!

• 42:57Speaker 05

  From WWE?

• 42:58Joe Rogan?

  That's right.

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Whoa!

• 43:00Speaker 05

  What?

• 43:00Joe Rogan?

  That's the wife.

• 43:00Speaker 05

  Sabo was so hot.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  This is good stock.

• 43:02Joe Rogan?

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 43:03Speaker 05

  The puppies.

• 43:03Joe Rogan?

  But, bro, look at his jeans. Those jeans dominate.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  Nice cannons.

• 43:07Joe Rogan?

  Those are Viking jeans. That's what Iceland looks the way it is.

• 43:10Speaker 05

  Viking jeans.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Oh, is that them now?

• 43:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 43:14Joe Rogan?

  She's 10 years older than him.

• 43:14Speaker 05

  Sabo.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  She looks great. She's got a bit of a bulge, though, on the right.

• 43:18Joe Rogan?

  That's her hands, dude.

• 43:19Speaker 02

  Oh, God, got it. You never know anymore.

• 43:21Speaker 05

  Jesus, really risking it with.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  I love you, Brock.

• 43:23Speaker 05

  Brock, that's gonna fucking kill you.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  He's gonna find you.

• 43:26Joe Rogan?

  Doesn't care.

• 43:26Speaker 02

  Brock can roll.

• 43:27Joe Rogan?

  He's writing your name down with crayons right now.

• 43:31Speaker 05

  Norman, bad.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  He's got that sword tattoo right here. Just a real warrior.

• 43:36Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he said he got drunk and didn't remember it and woke up and was like, what the fuck did I do? Yeah, right. You just regret it. That's a lame tattoo. You just regret it. For sure. For sure. Well, Steve-O's got a dick on his forehead. Yeah, but that's for fun. Yeah. He gets tattoos on an ATV. He was on the podcast and it was like first couple of minutes and I was like, "Do you have a dick tattoo above your eyebrows?" I said, "Yeah."

• 43:59Speaker 02

  What? I've done his pod. I didn't notice that.

• 44:02Joe Rogan?

  Good impression. I think he got it.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  How did I miss the dick?

• 44:04Speaker 05

  It must be new. I missed it.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:05Joe Rogan?

  It's pretty new. He was on, he was on a few months ago.

• 44:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. JMo.

• 44:09Joe Rogan?

  Not even. New Jackass coming next month. Yeah, look.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  Oh, man!

• 44:14Speaker 05

  What a lunatic.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 44:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I wouldn't recommend that. Post Malone tattooed him?

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Post Malone tattooed a dick on his forehead.

• 44:21Speaker 05

  He's not a trained tattoo artist.

• 44:21Joe Rogan?

  That's, well, I don't think he has to be trained.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Dick's got quite a curve.

• 44:26Speaker 05

  He's pretty good.

• 44:27Joe Rogan?

  Are there rules? He might, he might actually know. Are there any rules as to like, who can do a tattoo?

• 44:32Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 44:33Speaker 00

  If you're in charge or whatever and like have a business, yeah, but.

• 44:36Joe Rogan?

  You could just do it, though.

• 44:37Speaker 00

  If your friend wants to do it.

• 44:38Joe Rogan?

  Do one to your friend? I saw Fear. You can just do it with pen. Interesting.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  Huh.

• 44:43Joe Rogan?

  Interesting.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  Steveo's a good egg.

• 44:45Joe Rogan?

  He's a fun dude.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Steveo rules.

• 44:47Joe Rogan?

  He's a fun dude.

• 44:48Speaker 00

  Jackass rules.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  New Jackass, I was so excited when I heard. It was like. Oh, they're doing another one? June. Oh.

• 44:54Joe Rogan?

  He played a bunch of the scenes where Knoxville did too, them all getting concussions. And I was like, how many, I asked Knoxville, how many times you been out? He's like, at least sixteen.

• 45:03Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 45:04Joe Rogan?

  Sixteen times, out cold.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  It's funny when one of them gets like Reddit rap for not going hard enough, like Knoxville did once, and he goes, fine. They, I'll step up and I'll literally blow a ball off.

• 45:14Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  And then like, and like Danger had one where he's like, I'll be the one this time.

• 45:18Joe Rogan?

  Knoxville always went so hard.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was, it was bad, it was bad feedback. But they were like, you're protecting your face too much. He was like, alright, I'll show you. I asked, I asked Wee Man, I was like, who got PTSD this time? He was like, England. England's fucked forever now. Oh, yeah. What?

• 45:33Joe Rogan?

  Why?

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Cause they put him in horrible situations.

• 45:35Joe Rogan?

  What'd they do on?

• 45:36Speaker 03

  I don't know. I'm waiting to find out. What, Jamie?

• 45:38Speaker 00

  I took him out on this one, cause the last one they got him.

• 45:41Speaker 03

  No, they got Danger Air last time bad, with the bear and shit where you could tell he's like, this is never gonna leave me.

• 45:45Joe Rogan?

  And the fucking donkey in the one, that was terrifying.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, they'll kick ya. He just walked up behind one, the goal was to get him bucked in the nuts. He has to stand behind him.

• 45:55Joe Rogan?

  He's just behind him like shaking, and they're all making fun of him.

• 45:58Speaker 03

  And the donkey kicked him? Yeah, got him right in the balls.

• 46:00Joe Rogan?

  Hard.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Oh my god, dude.

• 46:02Speaker 00

  They had him get into a room, he obviously knew something was happening.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  He knew something's up, he just, he just can't be. He looks great. He does look pretty good. Nice skin, a lot of hair. Devil. He's a handsome guy.

• 46:13Speaker 00

  So he's in the room strapped to a table? Doing like electric chair.

• 46:16Speaker 03

  Shocking him, he's like, come on, stop, it's annoying, but I get it.

• 46:20Joe Rogan?

  And then what happens?

• 46:21Speaker 03

  They cover him in honey. Oh, no.

• 46:25Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no, no.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  Oh, the balls. And he's like. Is that meat?

• 46:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 46:29Speaker 06

  What are you doing?

• 46:31Speaker 03

  Relax.

• 46:32Speaker 06

  This out, the fucking honey's in my eye.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  Oh shit. Oh, god. I love those, oh shit, that's something's opening.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  He's got a chain on, the bear.

• 46:49Speaker 03

  Uh, uh, keep watching it.

• 46:51Joe Rogan?

  The chain is probably just so they could pull him off.

• 46:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  Stay calm.

• 46:56Speaker 02

  Oh, he's gonna lick him?

• 47:00Speaker 00

  The chain's not attached to anything.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  That's a good point, chain's free.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Oh, this is wild.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  This is crazy.

• 47:11Speaker 00

  Are you really allergic to bees, Aaron?

• 47:15Speaker 02

  Oh, he's trembling.

• 47:18Joe Rogan?

  Are they shocking him?

• 47:19Speaker 02

  What?

• 47:19Joe Rogan?

  Shocking him?

• 47:20Speaker 03

  I didn't even get the answer.

• 47:25Speaker 00

  Alright, we can't really watch.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Oh, is that like salmon?

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 47:34Speaker 02

  Oh, this is crazy.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  He's so frightened.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  Oh, he's got the paw!

• 47:42Speaker 03

  There is though.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  That's not so bad.

• 47:45Joe Rogan?

  What if he just came?

• 47:49Joe Rogan?

  You see his pants get wet?

• 47:51Speaker 00

  They fucked with him real bad though, this was...

• 47:54Speaker 03

  Like, get him out, get him out.

• 47:55Joe Rogan?

  So it's a trained bear?

• 47:56Speaker 03

  Sort of though, but it's a bear.

• 47:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  You know what's nice is Bam, they let Bam back in the group.

• 48:02Joe Rogan?

  Oh, good.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 48:03Speaker 02

  He's in the next one.

• 48:04Speaker 03

  I heard he's like skating again.

• 48:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's getting there.

• 48:08Joe Rogan?

  So what happened to him? He just went off the rails, drugs?

• 48:11Speaker 02

  Pills.

• 48:11Joe Rogan?

  Pills?

• 48:12Speaker 03

  Pills, stuff.

• 48:13Joe Rogan?

  Now he's back?

• 48:14Speaker 02

  He's back.

• 48:15Joe Rogan?

  Comeback, let's go.

• 48:16Speaker 00

  Bam rules.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  There's a video, there's a video I saw and it was like, uh, asking all the Jackass people who can skate, and people like, "Oh, Wee Man's pretty good", and then someone's like, "No, Danger Aaron's pretty good", and then just starts, the chiro just going, "It's Bam!", and then Johnny Knoxville's like, "I can do Ollie", like, "It's Bam!".

• 48:31Speaker 02

  Bam was good.

• 48:32Speaker 03

  I met him a bunch when I was going to college.

• 48:34Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 48:34Speaker 02

  Really?

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, I went to college in Westchester where they all were.

• 48:37Speaker 05

  So like, yeah, you'd see him around town. He was just the nicest.

• 48:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:41Speaker 05

  He was always just the man.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  He owned that town, huh?

• 48:43Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:44Speaker 05

  Purple Lambo, you'd see it. It'd be at the fucking Wawa. You'd be like, holy fuck, Bam's here. Holy fuck.

• 48:50Speaker 03

  Holy.

• 48:51Speaker 02

  With his eyeliner.

• 48:52Speaker 05

  Yeah. I drove by, uh, Castle Bam, this, you know the house there?

• 48:56Speaker 02

  People of Bam.

• 48:57Speaker 05

  It was right where I lived when we were filming Tires. I lived right next to it and I'd occasionally just drive over and look at it.

• 49:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. Every kid's dreams. Skateboard shit in the back, the ramps.

• 49:05Speaker 03

  Some trick that was off a bridge onto a moving bus and then off the bus onto the ground.

• 49:11Speaker 05

  I think you're thinking of the video game.

• 49:12Speaker 02

  Oh, I love the game.

• 49:14Speaker 05

  Maybe, but no, this was real.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  Bam's dad got fucked pretty hard, though.

• 49:18Joe Rogan?

  What happened?

• 49:19Speaker 02

  Well, they would just fuck with him all the time. Phil.

• 49:22Speaker 05

  They would just wake him up and just start punching him in the face. It was great.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  Sweetest man on the planet.

• 49:27Speaker 05

  Come on, man, cut it out, I'm sleeping.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  CKY, fucking rude.

• 49:30Joe Rogan?

  Crazy that those guys did that for so long.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:33Joe Rogan?

  Like, that seemed like a thing you could only do like, once.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  Hell, they're still going.

• 49:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 49:37Speaker 05

  One of the first, the first places I ever did stand up and hosted my own show was his bar in Westchester.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 49:43Speaker 05

  The Note.

• 49:44Joe Rogan?

  Like, how old are they? Like, how old is Steve-O?

• 49:47Speaker 02

  He's gotta be fifty.

• 49:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:49Joe Rogan?

  Fifty.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  Here, look what the...

• 49:54Joe Rogan?

  What are you gonna do to him?

• 49:56Speaker 02

  Oh, the dad finally gets his revenge.

• 49:59Speaker 05

  He's hiding behind the door.

• 50:04Speaker 05

  It's alright, yeah, Jackass rules.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  Jackass is the best. It's the best comedies.

• 50:10Joe Rogan?

  Just crazy that those guys made a career doing that.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:12Joe Rogan?

  Became famous just fucking each other up.

• 50:15Speaker 05

  We all copied him. I, me and my friends were outside filming us jumping into trees off the roof and shit.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 50:20Speaker 05

  It was, we all were like, this is the coolest thing ever.

• 50:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, they all had to be, they were the first ones to be like, don't do this. Anyway, that's the legal part.

• 50:27Speaker 02

  Now, watch, don't do it.

• 50:28Joe Rogan?

  This shit's fun.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  We're having a blast, though. You should try it, but don't do it legally.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:34Joe Rogan?

  How is the new Fear Factor? I know Knoxville's hosting it.

• 50:38Speaker 05

  I haven't seen it.

• 50:39Joe Rogan?

  Knoxville, yeah. He came on to promote it.

• 50:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:42Joe Rogan?

  He's hosting the new Fear Factor.

• 50:43Speaker 05

  He's very nice.

• 50:44Joe Rogan?

  I love Jackass so much.

• 50:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, me too.

• 50:47Joe Rogan?

  He's a good dude. Johnny Knoxville's a really nice guy.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Coolest.

• 50:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  Although his dick is broken. That sucks.

• 50:52Joe Rogan?

  I think it's fixed.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  Oh, great.

• 50:54Joe Rogan?

  I think they fixed it.

• 50:55Speaker 05

  Fix that nowadays.

• 50:57Joe Rogan?

  Them cells.

• 50:57Speaker 05

  Fucking, everyone's getting them.

• 50:59Speaker 03

  Everyone's getting dicks these days, dude.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  Wait, you got STEM?

• 51:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Whoa, what does that mean?

• 51:05Speaker 03

  Well, I don't know. It's been one day. I don't know.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  How do you feel?

• 51:08Speaker 03

  Feel fine.

• 51:08Joe Rogan?

  Did you see that thing that I sent you today?

• 51:10Speaker 03

  No.

• 51:10Joe Rogan?

  I sent you an article, this, with this video, this lady's saying that the, the one operation that has the least amount of success and is the most unnecessary is meniscus operations. I had one too.

• 51:21Speaker 03

  I couldn't walk though. What do you mean?

• 51:22Joe Rogan?

  I don't know. They said rehabilitation is better. Like keeping the tissue in there and rehabbing it is better than having it removed.

• 51:30Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 51:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I don't know. I had, I had mine removed on my left leg.

• 51:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:35Joe Rogan?

  But it does fuck with me more than my right leg.

• 51:37Speaker 03

  And what'd you have on the right leg?

• 51:38Joe Rogan?

  Just, I have a tear, a meniscus tear, but I just stem celled.

• 51:42Speaker 03

  No.

• 51:42Speaker 00

  Tear reed.

• 51:43Joe Rogan?

  I tore, I tore it doing a kicking contest with Joe Schilling.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 51:48Joe Rogan?

  With jeans on.

• 51:49Speaker 03

  You're a jackass.

• 51:50Speaker 02

  Jeans on, what are you, RFK?

• 51:52Joe Rogan?

  We were, he just wanted to see who could kick harder. Like he heard I kick really hard. He's a world champion kick boxer, so he wanted to kick this thing and he wanted me to kick it. I did it with jeans on.

• 52:00Speaker 03

  What'd you do? A bag at the arcade?

• 52:02Joe Rogan?

  We have this machine in the back. You hit it and it shows you like...

• 52:05Speaker 03

  You tore your meniscus on that? Cause you fucking rocked that.

• 52:08Joe Rogan?

  With no warmup at all at 52 years old. Just fucking slammed it.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  Joe Schilling came in three hours early and stretching.

• 52:16Joe Rogan?

  No, he didn't. He did no warmup either.

• 52:18Speaker 02

  That would be a great jackass. Joe Rogan kicks you.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, that would be bad.

• 52:22Joe Rogan?

  He had Butterbean punch him. It's the hardest thing to watch, dude. Cause he was already rocked and fucked up and then Butterbean put him out.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  And they're in like a Target or something.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, like a Batanga or something.

• 52:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:32Speaker 03

  They have the cra- the, the extra level though is, it's not just somebody, it's Butterbean punching you. Or it's not just taking a slapshot, it's somebody from the Predators fucking slapshotting it at your face.

• 52:41Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's right. He had Francis Ngannou punch him in the balls.

• 52:45Speaker 03

  The cup test.

• 52:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh, God.

• 52:47Speaker 00

  They just kept telling him like, like, a fighter's gonna come today and they didn't tell him it's Francis Ngannou.

• 52:50Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God.

• 52:51Speaker 00

  It's hilarious.

• 52:52Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my God.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  Oh, there he is. This is, this is bean. I mean, this is too far. I can't watch that.

• 52:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you can. Watch it. Let's watch it. Watch this. And Francis doesn't even hold back.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Oh, I mean, that's gonna ruin your junk.

• 53:08Joe Rogan?

  Oh dude, that kinda pain is crazy. Also, that's a terrible cup. That's a shitty cup.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  No one should ever doubt danger ever again.

• 53:16Joe Rogan?

  Watch this one more time.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  Oh my god!

• 53:19Joe Rogan?

  Bro, he put all of his 265 pounds into that too.

• 53:22Speaker 03

  The realization on his face when he's like, "It's worse than I thought it was gonna be and it's real."

• 53:27Joe Rogan?

  Bro, it's like getting hit by a car, right on your dick.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  That's brutal.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  Right, look at the eyes change.

• 53:33Joe Rogan?

  And the thing about those shitty cups is sometimes those shitty cups hit your nut. Like, the cup actually, your balls are kinda like poking out the side a little bit and the cup slams into your nut.

• 53:43Speaker 03

  It's not, they just got this at Target on the way to this.

• 53:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Right.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  It was like it was fitted. They were just like, "I don't know, just give me one."

• 53:48Joe Rogan?

  Real solid cup with compression shorts.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  Ooh. See, Gen Z or Gen Alpha will never have a jackass.

• 53:56Joe Rogan?

  You don't think so?

• 53:57Speaker 02

  No, I think those two mean.

• 53:58Joe Rogan?

  But what about these streamers that keep getting beat up?

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're capable.

• 54:00Speaker 02

  Oh, is that, is that a thing?

• 54:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, these streamers are like picking fights at people and getting fucked up.

• 54:04Speaker 02

  Oh, alright, alright.

• 54:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there's a lot of streamers that are getting that. Fuck beaten out of them.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  In a good way?

• 54:10Joe Rogan?

  Well, I mean, they're getting, they're provoking people and occasionally they provoke the wrong person.

• 54:14Speaker 03

  They fight club it until somebody picks a fight back with them.

• 54:16Joe Rogan?

  There's this one with Tiki. Tiki fought for the UFC. He's like a top level trainer, manages fighters. And this streamer kid is in his face telling him he's gonna fuck him up. And Tiki's like, "Oh really?" And he's like, "Yeah, I'll fuck you up for sure." And then he like moves too close to him and Tiki just cracks him.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  Is it the elbow?

• 54:33Joe Rogan?

  No, I think he punched him. I don't know if he elbowed him or punched. It's so hard to tell because it happened so fast.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:38Joe Rogan?

  But it's like the dude's in his face. And this is a dude, this guy, watch this. He's got a drink in his hand.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's the elbow.

• 54:44Joe Rogan?

  Is it an elbow? Slow that down a little bit.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  That was right on the jaw.

• 54:47Joe Rogan?

  It either is a punch or an elbow. It's hard to say because it happened so fast. Yeah, it's an elbow.

• 54:52Speaker 03

  He dropped the drink. What did he say to him?

• 54:53Joe Rogan?

  Nice elbow.

• 54:54Speaker 02

  You sure that was an elbow?

• 54:55Joe Rogan?

  He said he was gonna fuck him up. He said he's gonna slap him, I'll slap the shit out of you, something like that. Now, is that just cause? Yeah, I thought he's the wrong guy to fuck with. Right. Like, Tiki's really good. Tiki Masala.

• 55:09Speaker 05

  He's big, I wouldn't, even if he didn't do UFC, I wouldn't walk up to him and be like, "What are you gonna do, pussy?"

• 55:13Joe Rogan?

  Exactly.

• 55:13Speaker 05

  He's crazy. He needed to drop it, he was like, drop-

• 55:16Joe Rogan?

  And he's holding whiskey. Yeah. Well, that's probably why they didn't punch him.

• 55:19Speaker 05

  He was so calm until the second, but he dropped it, he let it go.

• 55:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Oh, really?

• 55:22Speaker 05

  Drops and elbows.

• 55:23Joe Rogan?

  Nice technique, too. One more time on that jam.

• 55:25Speaker 05

  One more time.

• 55:26Joe Rogan?

  That was a hook, the kids, like, really. Well, the elbow's just as powerful, dude. That's, I mean, especially coming out of Tiki. So, let's see what he says to him. He said a bunch of shit to him.

• 55:36Speaker 00

  I said it straight up.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Are you the guy that got slapped on video?

• 55:39Speaker 00

  I did, but I slapped the shit out of you, though. Okay, I'm gonna show you the inside of the house. I'll make, no, I'll make another clip. I'll do that.

• 55:49Speaker 01

  Seriously?

• 55:49Speaker 00

  I'll do that.

• 55:50Joe Rogan?

  Oh! There you go. Oh! But these, some of these streamers, man, they make their whole fucking career out of doing stuff like that.

• 56:00Speaker 05

  He got up.

• 56:01Joe Rogan?

  Who's that guy? Wow, he got up? It's hard to say what's going on. Or is that the bouncer? It's hard to say what's happening.

• 56:08Speaker 05

  It is hard to say. It's not him that got up, it's some other, it's a girl or something.

• 56:12Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think he probably got up too, because I see the black jacket. But it seems like he ran in, that's him, ran there after him and threw a couple punches at him. I mean, the fact that he took that is pretty impressive.

• 56:23Speaker 05

  I'd be done.

• 56:23Joe Rogan?

  I would've gone night-night.

• 56:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, but you wouldn't have, you wouldn't have been there.

• 56:27Joe Rogan?

  I wouldn't have. You would've done that.

• 56:28Speaker 05

  You would've been going, "I'll fucking knock you out."

• 56:29Joe Rogan?

  You would've never done that in the first place. The whole thing's crazy.

• 56:32Speaker 05

  I'd be like, "Hey," he was talking more shit on the way up, by the way.

• 56:34Joe Rogan?

  But there's so many of these guys that are picking fights, they're just doing anything they can to get attention to go viral. Damn.

• 56:40Speaker 05

  It's like a nightmare, walking down the street and someone's like, "What's up, bitch?"

• 56:43Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy.

• 56:45Speaker 05

  Well, I'm gonna look like a pussy, I'm not gonna do anything.

• 56:46Joe Rogan?

  I hate those, it's some guy with his girlfriend at, like, Target, and they just start mocking him and mocking the girlfriend, forcing his hand. And it's like, "Dude, I'm just trying to shop." "I don't wanna fight you, who are you?"

• 56:57Speaker 05

  It's how people get shot.

• 56:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 56:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, you do it in the wrong place. It's terrible.

• 57:02Joe Rogan?

  But it's just these kids today, like, there's so many of them that are just trying to get famous. Like, the number one thing the kids want today is to get famous. You know, they used to, like, do a list, "What do you want to do when you grow up? What are your goals?" Like, a giant percentage of them are, "Get famous."

• 57:15Speaker 02

  That's true. What's up with that clavicular homo? You know what I'm talking about?

• 57:21Joe Rogan?

  I think he's the opposite of a homo. I think his whole thing is looks-maxing to get chicks.

• 57:24Speaker 02

  That sounds gay to me. Looks-maxing?

• 57:27Speaker 03

  What is looks-maxing?

• 57:28Joe Rogan?

  Well, one of the things he does is, apparently, he hits his face with a hammer to put micro- micro breaks in his face to make his jaw look stronger.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  That's just trans. You're just man-to-man trans.

• 57:37Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 57:38Joe Rogan?

  Man-to-man trans.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, you've just altered your looks to make yourself more of a gender.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 57:44Joe Rogan?

  Interesting.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  Gender-affirming.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's gender-affirming.

• 57:47Joe Rogan?

  What about fake tits, then? Is that trans for girls?

• 57:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:50Speaker 03

  Let's do it. Absolutely.

• 57:51Speaker 02

  I like it.

• 57:52Joe Rogan?

  No, don't take fake tits.

• 57:53Speaker 03

  All right, leave fake tits, but you can't fucking make us- You can't be- it's gender-affirming. If you're like, "Men look this way," then you're like, "All right," so it's like, you can be something you're not.

• 58:01Joe Rogan?

  Hmm.

• 58:03Speaker 02

  He gets laid, though.

• 58:04Speaker 03

  I'm sure.

• 58:05Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I'm sure he does. He's a handsome fellow.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  He's very handsome.

• 58:07Joe Rogan?

  But he's like, pretty. Apparently, he does meth.

• 58:09Speaker 02

  What?

• 58:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he talks about it because, like, he finds it better than Adderall for controlling his appetite.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  That'll do it.

• 58:16Joe Rogan?

  Like, this is the thing, like, they want to be lean, as lean as possible.

• 58:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can't do meth, but- Kind of entertaining. It's better than Adderall for controlling appetite. How about just self-will?

• 58:26Joe Rogan?

  I don't-

• 58:27Speaker 00

  This is what he overdosed the other day on stream.

• 58:28Speaker 02

  Overdose?

• 58:31Joe Rogan?

  What'd he overdose on?

• 58:32Speaker 00

  I don't-

• 58:33Speaker 03

  Which one is he?

• 58:34Speaker 00

  They don't specifically say-

• 58:36Speaker 02

  That's him. Yeah, he is handsome.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  He's pretty handsome.

• 58:39Joe Rogan?

  So, would he just fall apart?

• 58:41Speaker 00

  Oh, they took it off the camera, but, yeah, he's just, like, falling down a cay- could be kind of me.

• 58:45Speaker 03

  You know what? I actually saw this, and he was- what was cool about it was how nice he was to everybody.

• 58:49Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 58:49Speaker 03

  Like, even while he's, like-

• 58:51Joe Rogan?

  Overdosing?

• 58:52Speaker 03

  Overdosing, he's like, and people are coming up, "Can I get a picture?" And he's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

• 58:54Joe Rogan?

  He's probably on Molly.

• 58:55Speaker 02

  That's cool.

• 58:56Joe Rogan?

  Maybe he overdosed on Molly.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  He looks like he's having a good time.

• 58:59Speaker 02

  Definitely Molly.

• 58:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it could be Molly. That may be why he's so nice to everybody.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's not a K-hole. I bet in one of those, you don't smile.

• 59:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 59:06Joe Rogan?

  Oh, shit. But is that overdosing or is he just on it?

• 59:10Speaker 02

  That's why it's, the clips are going around saying overdosing.

• 59:13Joe Rogan?

  Jester maxing.

• 59:13Speaker 03

  It's for dorks. It's not overdosing or he's fine.

• 59:16Joe Rogan?

  Jester maxing is so funny.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  These terms. Look at these, it's like a boy band.

• 59:20Joe Rogan?

  Mocking and. This streamer, everything is toxic and dangerous. The streamer looks maxing. Culture is top, it, culture.

• 59:27Speaker 02

  What is gooning?

• 59:28Joe Rogan?

  Culture.

• 59:28Speaker 03

  What is gooning?

• 59:29Speaker 02

  Gooning is a thing, right?

• 59:30Speaker 03

  We've had this argument.

• 59:31Speaker 02

  What's gooning?

• 59:32Speaker 03

  It's.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Jerking off.

• 59:34Speaker 03

  Masturbating to just really obsessing over anything.

• 59:37Speaker 02

  Wait, wait.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  It's hilarious.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  Okay. So like a stalker is gooning?

• 59:40Speaker 03

  Ooh, could be.

• 59:42Joe Rogan?

  I don't know if you're getting that right.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  Double goon.

• 59:44Speaker 03

  It just means like you're obsessed over something, which is like masturbation all the time. And that, then it's become like obsession. But I think it stayed with masturbation.

• 59:52Joe Rogan?

  It's definitely just masturbating. It's, it's all, it's basically just being as horny as you can fucking be. And it's very funny.

• 59:57Speaker 02

  All right.

• 59:58Joe Rogan?

  It is.

• 59:58Speaker 02

  I've gooned quite a bit in my day.

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:01Joe Rogan?

  You're a gooner.

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  I'm a gooner.

• 1:00:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:00:04Joe Rogan?

  I'm a Jester maxer.

• 1:00:05Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:00:05Joe Rogan?

  Can I get one of them beers?

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's beer time.

• 1:00:08Joe Rogan?

  Feel like one of those. Joe Rogan's back.

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Joe Rogan?

  Eight months off the sauce.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:00:13Joe Rogan?

  Moderation.

• 1:00:14Speaker 03

  He went on a, he went on a.

• 1:00:15Joe Rogan?

  Moderation is the key.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  He went on a drinking, a drinking withdrawal until Trump said he could do mushrooms as well. And then he goes, okay, fine, fine, I'll drink.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  What was that like? Beating the oval off?

• 1:00:25Joe Rogan?

  Pretty fucking strange. The whole thing was strange. How about sending him a text message, explaining everything to him and him saying, let's do it.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:00:33Joe Rogan?

  Dude, let's do it. And then the next day, he sees me.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  He keeps saying, yeah, let's do it. He's getting texts from BB. He goes, yeah, fuck it.

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:41Joe Rogan?

  It always works out for me.

• 1:00:43Speaker 03

  Shut down the straight. You guys are fucked.

• 1:00:45Joe Rogan?

  He showed up at the UFC event. He shakes my hand. He goes, it's done.

• 1:00:49Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:00:50Joe Rogan?

  And then a week later, we were in the White House with all the vets, all those vets that had taken Ibragaine and saved their life.

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  You should have had, okay, it's missed opportunity. You should have had all those vets and then a couple like dreadlocked white guys who are also like, this is gonna help me a lot too.

• 1:01:03Joe Rogan?

  This is gonna fucking rule. I should have had Duncan.

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  I should have Duncan.

• 1:01:07Joe Rogan?

  Duncan dressed like a shaman.

• 1:01:10Speaker 03

  Everyone's gonna benefit from this.

• 1:01:11Joe Rogan?

  With a hat on like you're wearing.

• 1:01:14Speaker 03

  You should have wore that fucking hat. With a suit behind the president.

• 1:01:18Joe Rogan?

  Well, I had a suit jacket and everything. I was prepared, but it was in the other room. But he goes, come on in the Oval Office. So he brought me in the Oval Office early.

• 1:01:25Speaker 03

  You were not wearing a suit? I didn't see it.

• 1:01:27Joe Rogan?

  I had a jacket, a suit jacket. I didn't have a tie. I was gonna wear a tie, but I hate ties. I said, let me just dress like I dress at the UFC. It looks fine. So I wore my UFC fucking outfit.

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  So you were like Zelensky in a tracksuit.

• 1:01:36Joe Rogan?

  No, I had a nice button up shirt, a nice pair of pants, nice dress shoes. I was respectable, but I just wasn't wearing a tie. But I did have a suit jacket, but it was in the other room. But he dragged me into the Oval Office. Come over here, look at this. It looks so beautiful now. He's like showing me all the new gold work. The Oval Office has like gold everywhere now. It's like all gold leaf everywhere. It's pretty impressive.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  Who designed it? Persians?

• 1:01:57Joe Rogan?

  Him!

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:01:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. He loves gold.

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  Definitely not the Persians.

• 1:02:00Joe Rogan?

  Bin Laden loved gold. He loves it. He like loves doing up the Oval Office.

• 1:02:05Speaker 03

  Scheindler took a tour.

• 1:02:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Wait, what?

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, we took a tour of the White House.

• 1:02:09Joe Rogan?

  When?

• 1:02:10Speaker 03

  Two years ago.

• 1:02:11Joe Rogan?

  No, no.

• 1:02:11Speaker 03

  A year?

• 1:02:12Joe Rogan?

  A year. Biden years? No, it was Trump years.

• 1:02:15Speaker 03

  He wasn't there, so we got in, but they're like, you can't go into the Oval Office. And we're like craning our head in with like our feet just on the outside, like, hold my hand. Like in there, saw the big Gulf of America.

• 1:02:24Joe Rogan?

  Oh, this is back, yeah. He had literally just had a map next to his desk that says Gulf of America. You're like, damn.

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  It's a map of water.

• 1:02:32Joe Rogan?

  God damn.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  Especially because you're like walking through and you're like, damn, Lincoln's. There's a lot of history here.

• 1:02:36Joe Rogan?

  And then you see Gulf of America next to the desk, and you're like, hey, fuck. What is that really gross bill that they just passed, though? What is that FISA bill that they just passed, Jamie? Yeah, something just happened where people are freaking the fuck out. Gross bill. Belichick? It's something, nah. It has something to do with them being able to look into all your private communications without a warrant. Oh, I don't like that.

• 1:03:00Speaker 03

  Is there a new one? Simone told me that every new car is gonna have AI testing to see if you're drunk or not.

• 1:03:05Joe Rogan?

  Twenty seven.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  And then they also won't abuse it.

• 1:03:07Joe Rogan?

  That's bad. Bad news. Wait, what was it? Look at you while you're driving to make sure that you're not hammered, get video of you. No more smoking joints in your car.

• 1:03:16Speaker 03

  Drive.

• 1:03:16Joe Rogan?

  Get an old car. That's what I got. Get an old Mustang.

• 1:03:19Speaker 00

  Saying the senate's likely to reject the house pass.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  Good.

• 1:03:22Joe Rogan?

  Thank god. We should force them to reject it. Jesus Christ, this is crazy. Three-year extension of section 702 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act allows federal government to collect communications of non-citizens outside the US, though it's often includes communications with American citizens. But then if they suspect you of it, like with Tucker, Tucker was communicating with Putin's people to do an interview through Signal. So they took his encoded, so it's all encrypted. They took his encrypted Signal and they decrypted it. Someone who knows this stuff explained to me, said it costs about $600,000 to do that.

• 1:04:02Joe Rogan?

  They said they can decrypt encrypted messages. They just have to get the data. So somehow or another, they got the data off of his phone, they unencrypted it, and then they contacted him and said, "We know that you're meeting with Putin." He's like, "How the fuck do you know?" They're like, "We read your Signal." And he's like, "What?" Like-

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  But he's like, "Yeah, I mean, I am meeting with him, doing an interview, I'm a journalist."

• 1:04:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well, that was his position, but it was also his position that he's using an encrypted app. Like, they, unless they're suspecting him of a crime, they shouldn't be able to look at his encrypted messages. So like, this idea that, you know, you're sending things on Signal and no one can read them, I think that's bullshit. I think it's more difficult to read them.

• 1:04:40Speaker 03

  So, local cops are not gonna do it if you're just buying molly.

• 1:04:43Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  That's not worth 600 grand.

• 1:04:45Joe Rogan?

  Exactly.

• 1:04:45Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:04:46Speaker 02

  Didn't Hegseth shit get leaked too, on Signal? Remember that, like, a year ago?

• 1:04:50Joe Rogan?

  I think that was because those people accidentally included a journalist. So it was like a giant group of like, 10 people or something like that, and one of them was a fucking journalist. These knuckleheads, and the journalists just released all the text messages. So they were sending emojis after we bombed Iran.

• 1:05:06Speaker 00

  Here's a fun story today.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  What, that guy?

• 1:05:08Joe Rogan?

  Suicide note purportedly written by Jeffrey Epstein weeks before his death in jail's been kept secret for years, locked up in a courthouse. That means investigators scrutinizing his death lacked what could have been a key piece of evidence.

• 1:05:18Speaker 00

  It's been the last hour, they're saying there's a note they found that's just-

• 1:05:22Speaker 03

  There's a brand-new note for-

• 1:05:23Speaker 00

  All of a sudden exists. No one's just, they haven't shown it or said what it says, they're just, everyone's not reporting.

• 1:05:29Joe Rogan?

  Well, how about the fucking autopsy that says that his prostate was unremarkable, but meanwhile, he had his prostate removed?

• 1:05:37Speaker 02

  Oh, boy.

• 1:05:38Joe Rogan?

  There's a lot of people that don't even believe he died.

• 1:05:39Speaker 03

  I think he's alive. I think they just face off them and he's living a good life somewhere.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  You just changed him.

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that all the people that all go to that stuff like, don't if we kill you, then we're all worried about ourselves. We're just gonna relocate you.

• 1:05:52Speaker 02

  Israel.

• 1:05:53Speaker 03

  Israel, maybe.

• 1:05:53Speaker 02

  That's what I heard from Metzger.

• 1:05:55Speaker 03

  From Metzger. It wouldn't be Israel. He'd live somewhere like.

• 1:05:58Joe Rogan?

  Why wouldn't he live in Israel? That's a place where he's most protected.

• 1:06:01Speaker 03

  Be like Cambodia.

• 1:06:02Joe Rogan?

  No, they'll kill him in Cambodia. You gotta live in Israel.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  No, there's parents in Israel.

• 1:06:07Joe Rogan?

  Of who?

• 1:06:07Speaker 03

  People.

• 1:06:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but you know, that's like the number one place where like sex offenders go from America that are Jewish, that are in trouble. Yeah.

• 1:06:14Speaker 03

  They'll take anybody in.

• 1:06:15Speaker 02

  I didn't know that.

• 1:06:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:16Speaker 03

  They take anybody in.

• 1:06:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, especially Jewish people. They'll just take you in.

• 1:06:20Speaker 02

  Wow, Jews have had a run. You get Madoff, Weinstein, Epstein.

• 1:06:24Speaker 03

  Hell, yeah, thank you.

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  The other guy.

• 1:06:26Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:06:27Joe Rogan?

  Hell of a run you guys.

• 1:06:28Speaker 03

  Cosbyberg.

• 1:06:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, kinda proves Kanye's point a little bit.

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  I don't love the the Kimmel shit is annoying, like the fighting with Kimmel over the jokes. You're like, come on, man.

• 1:06:40Joe Rogan?

  Here's the thing about that joke. Adam Carolla had a really good point. He said that joke, he said that joke on a Thursday, on Friday, nobody gave a shit.

• 1:06:49Speaker 03

  Who, who, what?

• 1:06:50Joe Rogan?

  Kimmel. He said a joke about Melania. He made his own mock White House press correspondence dinner.

• 1:06:55Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:06:55Joe Rogan?

  And he said Melania has the the glow of a woman who's recently widowed.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:07:00Joe Rogan?

  Just that's it.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  It's an old guy joke, like he's gonna die.

• 1:07:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it could be or an assassination joke if you want to take it that way, but he is old.

• 1:07:07Speaker 03

  Wait, is it after the attempt?

• 1:07:09Joe Rogan?

  No, before. So it's on Thursday, and this is Carolla's point, that's a really good point. He said, no one gave a shit on Friday. It came it came out on Thursday, no one cared on Friday, no one cared on Saturday until Saturday night when the assassination attempt. And then all of a sudden, everyone's blaming Kimmel.

• 1:07:22Speaker 03

  It's so funny that the right wing turned into the same fucking pussy faggots that the left wing are.

• 1:07:27Speaker 02

  It's the same shit. It is the same shit.

• 1:07:30Joe Rogan?

  It's human behavior patterns. You could call them left or right. I mean, this is why the left supports war in Ukraine. It's like the why the left supports censorship. It's like the same patterns. It's control, control and power.

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  You want your side to win.

• 1:07:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, a hundred percent.

• 1:07:45Speaker 00

  That's where they found the note.

• 1:07:46Joe Rogan?

  Where?

• 1:07:47Speaker 00

  Nicholas Tartaglio found it.

• 1:07:48Joe Rogan?

  Oh. Who's that? The guy who killed him. The fucking super jacked. Oh. Contract killer cellmate that he had. Hmm. You know that story? Uh-uh. No, his cellmate was a fucking super jacked cop who killed drug dealers. Ah. Yeah, dude was a gorilla. I mean, fuck, show Ari a picture of the guy. Tartaglione is this fucking huge evil corrupt cop. Yeah, super guinea. He's like a roided up guinea. Damn. Get an image. I'd like to see this cat. Look at him. Whoa, mama. That guy's your fucking cellmate. Jesus. And he's killed four guys. Four drug dealers and contract killers. What's he in jail for? Murder. Oh. Quadruple slaying. He was in there for fucking dogs. No. Look at the picture.

• 1:08:33Joe Rogan?

  The dogs were on his body. Cute dogs. Cute little doggies. He's a pretty, he's a pretty good guy. I told you he was kissing those dogs. Oh, he's fucking murdering people and then they put him in the sale with them, with Epstein. And then he said Epstein tried to kill him eighteen days before he died. Hmm. He complained, excuse me, he said Tartaglione, uh, tried to kill Epstein. Epstein complained, the cellmate tried to kill him, yeah. But we tried to strangle him to death. Whoa. And he found him, they found him unconscious and unresponsive. Krav Maga to break out of it. Krav Maga, however you say it. Whatever they do. Krav Maga. Krav Maga. Whatever they do. Yeah.

• 1:09:09Joe Rogan?

  Krav Maga hat.

• 1:09:12Joe Rogan?

  That whole Epstein thing is so crazy. That no one's got in jail for that. It's pretty surprising that they're still not releasing it. Here's what's crazy. No arrests, no, no, no one's like being brought in. Meanwhile, Comey is getting arrested for a photo of seashells that say eighty-six forty-seven. He's getting arrested for that? Yeah. What's eighty-six forty-seven? Eighty-six, get rid of. President forty-seven. But you could say kill. But eighty-six is, if you get fired, what happened to Mike? He got eighty-sixth. Right. It doesn't mean you get killed. But this is a crazy thing to arrest someone for. Of course. FBI, arrested in Virginia. Appears briefly in court. Well, they already like had it out for him. I know, but that's a cra- this is, the problem with these guys is it sets a crazy precedent.

• 1:09:58Joe Rogan?

  That's the precedent.

• 1:10:01Speaker 03

  That's already, that's the worst, like, that's crazy.

• 1:10:04Joe Rogan?

  That's the crazy.

• 1:10:05Speaker 03

  FBI director, they're like, are you going after me? Well, now we're going after you for nothing. It doesn't matter.

• 1:10:09Joe Rogan?

  It's nuts. It's nuts. Like, you're going after someone for something that's just silly. Eighty-six, forty-seven is get rid of forty-seven.

• 1:10:16Speaker 02

  Right. Free speech.

• 1:10:17Joe Rogan?

  But it's just like arresting a guy for that is nuts.

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  Call me, don't play that.

• 1:10:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. I mean, it's one thing, like, if you have, like, a photo of him, like, an AI, you post an AI photo of him dead, you know, with bullet holes in him, like, wouldn't that be nice?

• 1:10:32Speaker 03

  Yes, but also.

• 1:10:34Joe Rogan?

  But even that.

• 1:10:34Speaker 03

  Even that's okay.

• 1:10:35Joe Rogan?

  Well, the Secret Service would visit you.

• 1:10:37Speaker 03

  Not as an FBI director.

• 1:10:39Joe Rogan?

  Right, but he's a former FBI director, so he's a private citizen at that point. He'd already left the office.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  It's crazy. Trump can take a shot, but not a joke.

• 1:10:47Speaker 03

  It's just retaliation for going after Trump?

• 1:10:50Joe Rogan?

  Well, it is, but it's like, they're just looking for any reason. But it just doesn't seem, it seems like there should be other reasons. Like, if the guy really was dirty, you should have something on him other than this seashell picture.

• 1:11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not. It's not.

• 1:11:01Speaker 02

  He just hates him and he's using that.

• 1:11:03Joe Rogan?

  I know, but it's such a.

• 1:11:04Speaker 03

  Such abusive power.

• 1:11:05Joe Rogan?

  This was my thing when people weren't upset about ICE people in the street with masks on and no identification. I'm like, this sets a crazy precedent. Yeah, I understand you want the undocumented criminals out of the country. I agree. However, you're, you're setting a precedent for militarized people with seven weeks' training to be walking around with fucking weapons of war and flak jackets with no ID and masks on. That's all I'm saying. Like, this is a slippery fucking slope you're going down.

• 1:11:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's no bueno.

• 1:11:35Joe Rogan?

  But then also, they wouldn't have to be there like that if there wasn't these, or, there wouldn't be any conflict if it wasn't organized, paid-for protests. They paid people to protest. They paid people because they had the fucking, all that fraud in Minnesota.

• 1:11:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, but there's spots.

• 1:11:48Joe Rogan?

  The reason why I was in Minneapolis, why the fucking, the protests were strongest in Minneapolis and organized, because that's where all the fraud was. That's where all the people were getting caught. So they said, well, let's defuse this. And Mike Benz said it.

• 1:12:00Speaker 03

  It's not, you don't just give rando's guns and go, all right, they went over, they overstepped, so here, you have seven weeks' training, go ahead, go nuts.

• 1:12:06Joe Rogan?

  Not just give rando's guns. They gave him a fifty thousand dollar signing bonus. So, yeah, you get a fifty thousand dollar signing bonus. Enjoy. And by the way, a lot of them, a lot of them are Mexican. Lot of them are Mexican. That's true. Including the two guys that shot that dude in Minneapolis, both Mexicans.

• 1:12:23Speaker 05

  Gotta make my nut.

• 1:12:24Joe Rogan?

  Excuse me, Hispanic. Sure. Latino, had Latin names. Oh, interesting.

• 1:12:29Speaker 05

  I was at the airport in Philly and an ICE agent was like, "Yo, my man, what's up?" And I was like, "Yo, chill."

• 1:12:37Speaker 05

  Oh, fuck, don't ask me for a picture.

• 1:12:38Joe Rogan?

  Do you see that Trump renamed it instead of ICE, now it's NICE? I saw that.

• 1:12:44Joe Rogan?

  It's NICE now, instead of ICE. So now you're protesting NICE? It's national. Immigrations, Customs, Enforcement.

• 1:12:51Speaker 05

  He's done it again.

• 1:12:52Joe Rogan?

  That reminds me.

• 1:12:53Speaker 05

  Man, our leader.

• 1:12:55Joe Rogan?

  That's funny. He's a wild boy.

• 1:12:57Speaker 05

  Still funny.

• 1:12:58Joe Rogan?

  It is funny, calling it NICE. Did you, is you thinking about to go off? Nah, I just realized I left my kid in a Somali daycare. I gotta go pick him up. He'll be fine.

• 1:13:06Speaker 05

  What happened to ICE while I was gone? Did they go nuts?

• 1:13:09Joe Rogan?

  Nah. Well, you don't know about Alex Preddy, you know what that story is?

• 1:13:12Speaker 05

  They executed two citizens.

• 1:13:13Joe Rogan?

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• 1:15:01Speaker 02

  Boy, you've been gone, huh?

• 1:15:03Speaker 03

  Killed two citizens?

• 1:15:04Joe Rogan?

  Well, there's one lady that got killed in a car because she was, they were trying to tell her to stay put. She was protesting and fucking with them. And then she drove when the cop tried to step in front of her car. She's clearly turning her wheel away from him. She's not trying to run him over and he just...

• 1:15:20Speaker 03

  Who, a cop or ICE?

• 1:15:22Joe Rogan?

  ICE guy.

• 1:15:23Speaker 02

  And he said, "Fucking bitch."

• 1:15:24Speaker 03

  An American-born citizen?

• 1:15:26Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:15:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:27Joe Rogan?

  A crazy lady.

• 1:15:29Speaker 03

  Kind of anyone, but yes.

• 1:15:31Speaker 02

  Lesbian.

• 1:15:32Joe Rogan?

  Allegedly.

• 1:15:33Speaker 02

  Well, the girlfriend was there. Do you believe in them, though, for real? Oh, yeah. She looked like a lesbian.

• 1:15:40Joe Rogan?

  You don't think?

• 1:15:41Speaker 03

  No, they seemed legit.

• 1:15:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, she had a kid. She looked like Brock Lesnar.

• 1:15:44Joe Rogan?

  She's a newly lesbian lady.

• 1:15:47Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:15:48Speaker 02

  Newly lesbian?

• 1:15:49Speaker 03

  What was the backlash on that?

• 1:15:50Joe Rogan?

  It was pretty bad. Yeah, pretty bad backlash. And then this Alex Pretty guy was after that.

• 1:15:56Speaker 03

  Did they manage that one?

• 1:15:57Joe Rogan?

  The Alex Pretty guy was after that. The Alex Pretty guy was carrying a gun. And so he was open carrying or concealed carrying and physically pushing cops. Like, it was kind of crazy. And then they tackle him, they found out he's a gun. And this is where it gets crazy. One of the border protections agents grabs the gun and is taking it away. And unfortunately, the gun accidentally goes off. The gun that he was carrying is called a SIG P320, and it's notorious for accidental discharges. So, this is confusing because it's hard to tell because the video's a little grainy. But most people who are experts look at it, say that, at least the videos that I've watched, say that that gun accidentally went off without the guy touching the trigger.

• 1:16:40Speaker 03

  But also, it's like...

• 1:16:41Joe Rogan?

  Has the gun, the cops moving away with the gun, they say he has a gun.

• 1:16:45Speaker 03

  Cop or the ICE people?

• 1:16:46Joe Rogan?

  The cops say he had, it's Border Protections. It's not even ICE, it's a different organization. Hmm. So, the Border Protections guys are moving away with the gun. The gun goes off and these guys think the guy has another gun and then they start shooting him. And they shoot him and kill him while they have him down. It's a rough video. This is all my interpretation based on videos, I might not be accurate.

• 1:17:09Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:17:09Joe Rogan?

  But I've seen the video, it does look like the slide moves, it does look like the sound of a gun going off corresponds with that slide moving and that gun is notorious. Like if you look up SIG P320 online, accidental discharge, you'll see tons of videos. SIG I L.

• 1:17:24Speaker 03

  I've had an accidental discharge.

• 1:17:29Joe Rogan?

  I haven't had one of those in a long time. I used to have them when I'm a kid.

• 1:17:31Speaker 03

  Wet dreams?

• 1:17:32Joe Rogan?

  Wet dreams.

• 1:17:32Speaker 03

  Now I was talking about coming to.

• 1:17:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, been there. That's why that's accidental.

• 1:17:37Speaker 03

  Fucking SIG, sorry.

• 1:17:39Joe Rogan?

  I got too excited.

• 1:17:40Speaker 03

  Bullshit, let's talk for 20 minutes. Get back to it in a second.

• 1:17:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so you missed all the ICE, all the fun. Good for you. But it's like the only reason why there were violent people in the streets protesting is because it was an organized, paid-for protest. They actually physically paid people to be there and protest, they gave them signs. How do you get on that list to get paid for that? You gotta get on some wacky left-wing newsletter, I don't know.

• 1:18:05Speaker 03

  Still like, yeah, you don't just put random people in charge of people.

• 1:18:09Joe Rogan?

  Well, I mean, you do have to get rid of all the cartel members and all the criminals that came across the border. I mean, they let more than 10 million people into the country over four years.

• 1:18:18Speaker 03

  America has a great way of like overreacting to stuff. They're like, oh Saddam Hussein's a problem, let's go in there and kill a million people.

• 1:18:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, America does that.

• 1:18:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're like not the best people to handle stuff and we're like still like, we should handle it.

• 1:18:29Joe Rogan?

  You know who else does that? Who?

• 1:18:31Speaker 03

  Israel, blame everything on Israel.

• 1:18:34Joe Rogan?

  I'm not blaming everything.

• 1:18:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:37Joe Rogan?

  They're, they're a part of it. It is amazing how many high-profile Jewish people just, they have an opinion about everything. But when it gets to this, I.

• 1:18:47Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:18:49Joe Rogan?

  They just avoid that or come up with some random way to justify annihilating an entire city.

• 1:18:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just funny to me when Americans are like, hey, this other country's overstepping.

• 1:19:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, we bombed the pad twice.

• 1:19:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:03Speaker 05

  Well, hold on a second.

• 1:19:05Speaker 03

  Afghanistan, Iraq.

• 1:19:06Speaker 05

  Those fuckers had it really coming.

• 1:19:07Speaker 03

  They were Jews.

• 1:19:08Speaker 02

  Twice?

• 1:19:09Speaker 05

  The second one was just going, hey, check this out, Russia.

• 1:19:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 1:19:14Speaker 05

  But yeah, whatever.

• 1:19:16Joe Rogan?

  Well, that was a long time ago.

• 1:19:17Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 1:19:18Joe Rogan?

  Everybody did that's dead. But based on today, oye.

• 1:19:22Speaker 05

  Oye vey.

• 1:19:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:25Joe Rogan?

  It's a lot like Lebanon, bro, they're doing Lebanon right now. It's crazy.

• 1:19:28Speaker 02

  Well, they're looking for Hezbollah.

• 1:19:29Joe Rogan?

  They gotta look under rubble.

• 1:19:31Speaker 02

  Mmm, Barney Rubble. One more time with that later there.

• 1:19:36Joe Rogan?

  What else we got?

• 1:19:38Speaker 02

  Thank you. There we go.

• 1:19:41Joe Rogan?

  It's a wild time to be alive, kids.

• 1:19:42Speaker 02

  It's wild.

• 1:19:43Joe Rogan?

  But at least we're gonna have drugs soon.

• 1:19:45Speaker 03

  That's pretty nice.

• 1:19:45Joe Rogan?

  Well, at least all those people that are hooked on pills are gonna get off of them. A lot of them are at least. It's gonna at least give them something that works.

• 1:19:52Speaker 03

  How they gonna get it?

• 1:19:53Speaker 05

  How come we can't get free healthcare?

• 1:19:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, right?

• 1:19:56Speaker 03

  Why don't we do that?

• 1:19:57Speaker 02

  I'm paying out the ass.

• 1:19:58Speaker 03

  Why can't we do that?

• 1:19:59Joe Rogan?

  I bet if they took all the money from fraud, it would pay for healthcare 10 times over.

• 1:20:03Speaker 03

  Or Ukraine or Israel.

• 1:20:04Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:20:05Speaker 03

  Why not?

• 1:20:05Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:20:06Speaker 02

  Well, that's what's annoying. All these balls are like, if we get this much money, we can cure this. So let me ask you this. You have all this money. What are you doing?

• 1:20:11Joe Rogan?

  I think 100% free healthcare would be an awesome thing, but you'd also want doctors to be incentivized to be really good at their jobs.

• 1:20:19Speaker 05

  For sure, but also.

• 1:20:20Joe Rogan?

  So you want like the doctor Gettleman, the guy that did your knee and did my knee? That's a, he's a bad, bad motherfucker.

• 1:20:26Speaker 05

  Why can't we have, why can't we have universal healthcare and private doctors?

• 1:20:28Joe Rogan?

  We should be able to have both of those things.

• 1:20:30Speaker 02

  Like public school and private school.

• 1:20:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, right. Public defenders. You're allowed to have a public defender.

• 1:20:34Speaker 03

  Dude, the ease at which I got treated in third world countries was like.

• 1:20:37Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:20:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, you just go in.

• 1:20:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you go into pharmacy.

• 1:20:40Speaker 03

  See somebody like, here's your pills you need. Here's your, here's your drops you need.

• 1:20:43Speaker 02

  Isn't it dirty needles and weird equipment over there?

• 1:20:46Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:20:47Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:20:47Speaker 03

  Harvard trained doctors.

• 1:20:49Speaker 02

  Come on!

• 1:20:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's just no upsell for.

• 1:20:51Joe Rogan?

  Universal healthcare system in America would cost approximately 3.0 to 3.2 trillion annually. Oh.

• 1:20:57Speaker 02

  That's a lot.

• 1:20:58Speaker 03

  Which is actually less than the current system that costs around 5.3 trillion per year. So we're talking about a savings of almost 50%.

• 1:21:05Speaker 05

  Why don't we get, why don't we get free healthcare?

• 1:21:07Joe Rogan?

  So a savings of 450 billion annually while providing coverage to all Americans. According to perplexity, our AI sponsor, which is never wrong. The United States currently spends about 5.3 trillion in healthcare. 15,474 dollars per person as of 2024.

• 1:21:25Speaker 03

  Even when something goes wrong and you have insurance, it's not paid for. You gotta spend five grand to get anesthesia and then another five grand to go downstairs for the surgery.

• 1:21:34Joe Rogan?

  So what do you think is the problem? What is it, what is causing it?

• 1:21:38Speaker 05

  I would imagine the insurance company.

• 1:21:40Joe Rogan?

  Trying to make you president.

• 1:21:41Speaker 03

  Oh, thanks. It's insurance company.

• 1:21:43Speaker 02

  Imagine if you ran? I'm not a Jew.

• 1:21:45Speaker 03

  I got my, I got my teeth checked in Ecuador and they were like, you haven't packed the gums. I was like, all right, I was about to go home in a week. I was like, when I go home, I'll do, I'll fix it. And they're like, are you nuts?

• 1:21:54Speaker 02

  Do it.

• 1:21:54Speaker 03

  People fly here to get that surgery.

• 1:21:56Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:21:57Speaker 03

  Cause it's so much cheaper. Flight, hotels, all that is much cheaper than doing it there.

• 1:22:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:02Speaker 03

  And like, we have a surgeon and I was like, is he like trained? And they're like, yeah, he went to Yale Medical School.

• 1:22:07Joe Rogan?

  Dude shows up, sacrifices.

• 1:22:09Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:22:10Joe Rogan?

  Homishabop, homishabop.

• 1:22:12Speaker 02

  Well, this is why they clipped Bernie, cause he was trying to do this. So they got rid of him.

• 1:22:16Joe Rogan?

  That was one thing he was trying to do.

• 1:22:17Speaker 03

  It kind of blows. It's embarrassing.

• 1:22:19Joe Rogan?

  All right, let's put up this, how much would it cost if, uh, school, like higher education was lea- was free?

• 1:22:26Speaker 02

  Oh, that's too much money in that. They won't do it.

• 1:22:28Speaker 05

  Well, that's the same exact thing with healthcare.

• 1:22:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. It's subsidized.

• 1:22:32Speaker 03

  We're making too much so.

• 1:22:33Speaker 05

  As a country, it's all, I mean, it's the same reason we're doing wars.

• 1:22:36Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:37Speaker 02

  Money?

• 1:22:37Speaker 03

  Just to make money.

• 1:22:38Speaker 05

  Of course. There's nothing else. Not even just oil, but defense contracts. They need.

• 1:22:42Joe Rogan?

  They're raking it in.

• 1:22:44Speaker 02

  I thought it was just for fun.

• 1:22:45Joe Rogan?

  I mean, the war has already cost how much? Let's find out that. How much is the war? Let's just say, how much, no, no, but let's just, let's just look at how much Iran has cost us.

• 1:22:53Speaker 02

  There we go.

• 1:22:54Speaker 03

  That's what I mean.

• 1:22:54Joe Rogan?

  Shake a guess.

• 1:22:55Speaker 02

  Let's do bets.

• 1:22:56Speaker 03

  Shutting down the fucking streets.

• 1:22:57Joe Rogan?

  Right. But I mean, just us spending money to bomb Iran. Just that. The simplest.

• 1:23:02Speaker 03

  Just the bombs?

• 1:23:03Joe Rogan?

  Lowest run without the economic impact, the oil impact.

• 1:23:06Speaker 02

  What about the Hormuz and all that? Cause all that's a.

• 1:23:09Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's, that's a factor, but let's just find out how much the raw money spent on the bombs.

• 1:23:13Speaker 03

  25 billion.

• 1:23:14Joe Rogan?

  25 billion.

• 1:23:15Speaker 02

  Ah, that's dropping the bucket.

• 1:23:17Joe Rogan?

  60 days into the war.

• 1:23:18Speaker 03

  How much is Ukraine?

• 1:23:19Speaker 02

  That's a lot more.

• 1:23:21Joe Rogan?

  So, but what, what concerns me, not just, well, all of it concerns me, one of the things that someone told me was that we've kind of depleted our weapon supplies. Cause we bought, we don't have that many of those fucking missiles.

• 1:23:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, everybody says that. Well, we gave them all to Ukraine, we gave them all to Israel, and then we gave them all, now we're fucking using them.

• 1:23:38Speaker 02

  And Zelensky's a mooch. He just keeps wanting more.

• 1:23:41Speaker 05

  I don't think it's.

• 1:23:43Speaker 02

  Oh, you think it's his?

• 1:23:44Speaker 05

  No, I think it's.

• 1:23:45Speaker 02

  Adesanya?

• 1:23:46Joe Rogan?

  It's us.

• 1:23:47Speaker 05

  It's us.

• 1:23:47Joe Rogan?

  It's money, but it's all, it's all together. Every, it's all a big scam, Ponzi scheme. Everybody's making money.

• 1:23:55Speaker 02

  You should get Trump on air.

• 1:23:57Joe Rogan?

  We're doing great. Don't let anybody lie to you.

• 1:24:01Speaker 05

  Maybe, maybe next time we schmooze him into free healthcare.

• 1:24:04Joe Rogan?

  Maybe next time we schmooze him into a protect our parks. Oh. Trump being in here.

• 1:24:08Speaker 05

  Brother.

• 1:24:09Joe Rogan?

  Oh, come on, dog.

• 1:24:11Speaker 05

  It's crazy too, cause I've gotten, there was a pill I had to get like three of, when I went to Asia or something, and it was like, I got two here, they cost me like 400 each, and then the same, it's the same drug. In Myanmar, it's like 40 dollars.

• 1:24:21Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's one thing that he has fixed. One thing that Trump is working on is making whatever the low price is internationally, the price that people pay in America. And he told, he's fucking hilarious. He was telling us, I've got a friend, I don't want to say his name, very successful, he's a big guy, he took the fat pill, it didn't work.

• 1:24:41Joe Rogan?

  But he was going on about how his friend went overseas, he forgot his fat pill, he went overseas, and he was in Europe, and he got it for like 100 bucks. And he's like, this is like 1300 dollars in America.

• 1:24:52Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 1:24:52Joe Rogan?

  It's not right, it's not right. And so he made it so that whatever the low cost is in these other countries, that's the low cost in America. That's what it costs here now.

• 1:25:01Speaker 02

  Is that right?

• 1:25:01Joe Rogan?

  Yes.

• 1:25:02Speaker 05

  That's good.

• 1:25:02Speaker 02

  Everybody's on it.

• 1:25:03Joe Rogan?

  It's like, you're not gonna get all good.

• 1:25:05Speaker 05

  Any drug.

• 1:25:05Joe Rogan?

  You know, you're not gonna get all good with any president either, you know, you're gonna get a lot of bad shit, cause all these people are surrounded by demons. They're surrounded by warhawks, and demons, and defense contractors, and scam artists, and the pharmaceutical industry, there's all these fucking people that are trying to make sure that they can make the most amount of money possible, just all coke snorting demons.

• 1:25:27Speaker 02

  Mmm.

• 1:25:27Joe Rogan?

  Allegedly.

• 1:25:28Speaker 05

  I was watching this documentary on, uh, the homeless here in Austin, and they're talking about how like, I was on schizophrenia medicine, I can't afford it anymore. And they're out there just sprinting around.

• 1:25:39Joe Rogan?

  What happens if you take schizophrenia medicine and you don't have schizophrenia?

• 1:25:43Speaker 05

  Ooh, that's a fun night. I think I did that at Stanford.

• 1:25:47Speaker 05

  I think I took some antipsychotics and slept for four days. Huge mistake.

• 1:25:51Speaker 02

  It helps you, I take it to sleep.

• 1:25:53Speaker 05

  Expired fucking antipsychotic, he was like, here, take this. Does he take it? I don't know if he takes it, it was expired, so I guess not. Jesus Christ.

• 1:26:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but expired medication, I was just reading this thing about that, like, most expired medication is actually still usable, like, up to 300% longer than they say it.

• 1:26:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's like, a little bit less effective, but still good.

• 1:26:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:12Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:26:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but I don't even know if it's less effective, this, this thing was saying that it's 100% effective for a long period of time after the expiration date. I don't know why they have an expiration date, it's not like milk.

• 1:26:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:26:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, the healthcare thing is really embarrassing, to be honest, it's really embarrassing. Mental institutions and some free healthcare for these fellows outside.

• 1:26:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, asylums.

• 1:26:30Speaker 05

  I don't know how to, I don't know how to, obviously no one knows how to fix it.

• 1:26:33Joe Rogan?

  And, we gotta do something. A giant percentage of those people are addicted to drugs, right? A giant percent, fentanyl zombies, you need ibogaine for all those people, mental health facilities, you need to get them on whatever medication to fix their schizophrenia.

• 1:26:46Speaker 05

  And it's also, it's not even like a fucking goodwill thing, it's also like, we need to fucking clean, like, selfishly.

• 1:26:52Speaker 02

  Safety.

• 1:26:52Speaker 05

  It's, it's for everybody, so what are we doing, why, whatever.

• 1:26:55Joe Rogan?

  Skid Row in Los Angeles.

• 1:26:56Speaker 05

  What's the fucking holdup?

• 1:26:58Joe Rogan?

  Skid Row in Los Angeles is 50 blocks.

• 1:27:01Speaker 02

  50 blocks.

• 1:27:03Joe Rogan?

  50.

• 1:27:03Speaker 05

  Last time I looked, it said American health, Americans pay more than two times the next country for healthcare, and we get the 17th best coverage.

• 1:27:13Speaker 02

  And we're the sickest. We're the sickest.

• 1:27:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's nuts, we spend the most money.

• 1:27:17Speaker 05

  I was just in Toronto, it was clean. Yeah, you just go right to a doctor. Even just driving around, I was like, this is crazy, how do, how are we getting, why is America dog shit?

• 1:27:26Speaker 02

  And our shit is locked up at the CVS, they don't have that, everybody's stealing.

• 1:27:30Joe Rogan?

  Wow, there's a lot of stealing.

• 1:27:32Speaker 05

  It hurts me and Mark the most.

• 1:27:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I love to steal.

• 1:27:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, you steal. Why are you locking it up? You gotta call the, you gotta do this before you're about to steal.

• 1:27:39Speaker 02

  Wow, I got a problem. Just at like airports and stuff.

• 1:27:43Speaker 05

  Nah, movie theaters, you do it anywhere, come on, don't sell yourself short.

• 1:27:46Joe Rogan?

  They're gonna watch you now.

• 1:27:47Speaker 05

  You steal everything.

• 1:27:49Speaker 02

  I'll steal food.

• 1:27:50Speaker 05

  I'll steal food off of his plate.

• 1:27:52Speaker 02

  A little bit of a thrill, can I get the Winona Ryder thing?

• 1:27:54Speaker 05

  It's cheaper too.

• 1:27:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's cheaper.

• 1:27:56Speaker 03

  The last time I saw, I saw Mark Steel, we're, we're in a movie theater and I got some popcorn and I'm sure it's closed by now. And then the lady turned around, I got my popcorn and then he just had beef jerky in the movie.

• 1:28:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were selling it.

• 1:28:10Speaker 03

  How'd you get that? He goes, most expensive item, I just reached for it.

• 1:28:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:13Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy.

• 1:28:14Speaker 02

  They're chiseling us too. They up the prices.

• 1:28:16Speaker 03

  They up the prices.

• 1:28:17Speaker 02

  I mean, you get, you get a Hudson News Cliff Bar, it's eight bucks. Not on my watch.

• 1:28:21Joe Rogan?

  It's ridiculous. Not on my watch.

• 1:28:23Speaker 02

  Once you're on the plane, you're home free, you know?

• 1:28:24Joe Rogan?

  You're raising the cost for the rest of us.

• 1:28:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, you are.

• 1:28:27Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:28:27Speaker 03

  You are, that's why I say.

• 1:28:29Speaker 02

  They put that in, they, they factor the theft in.

• 1:28:31Joe Rogan?

  You're a successful person. That's outrageous.

• 1:28:34Speaker 03

  Habits die hard.

• 1:28:35Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you don't, no one's gonna be sympathetic towards you. You have money.

• 1:28:38Speaker 02

  I'm not asking you to, I'm just saying it's a, it's a fun ride.

• 1:28:41Speaker 03

  I don't want it.

• 1:28:43Joe Rogan?

  It's, the beef jerky tastes better when it's stolen?

• 1:28:44Speaker 02

  Easily.

• 1:28:47Joe Rogan?

  It's so weird.

• 1:28:48Speaker 03

  Diaz, one time at the, at the airport, he just comes off from one of those bodegas and he comes on, he just shows me Tic Tacs and it was like, what is that for? He goes, yeah, right? I got some. And they just threw in the garbage.

• 1:28:58Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:28:59Speaker 03

  And I was like, what are you doing? I go, I'm just trying to stay sharp.

• 1:29:00Speaker 02

  That's a ballsy steal. It rattles.

• 1:29:03Speaker 03

  That's a hard steal.

• 1:29:04Speaker 02

  It's a hard steal.

• 1:29:05Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:29:05Joe Rogan?

  Trying to stay sharp is hilarious.

• 1:29:08Speaker 03

  Want it.

• 1:29:10Speaker 02

  I don't throw it out, I eat it.

• 1:29:11Speaker 03

  I don't throw it out, yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:12Joe Rogan?

  Joey's going in for surgery today.

• 1:29:13Speaker 02

  Uh oh, tits?

• 1:29:16Speaker 03

  Getting some, getting cannons.

• 1:29:17Joe Rogan?

  Getting a cannon, cannon reduction surgery. He's getting top surgery. He's getting his tits removed. He's getting that big scar.

• 1:29:26Speaker 02

  About time. Him shirtless is rough.

• 1:29:28Joe Rogan?

  How many times have you seen it?

• 1:29:29Speaker 02

  Just once and it's burned in.

• 1:29:33Speaker 03

  I've seen it. Joey Karate.

• 1:29:35Speaker 02

  Joey Karate.

• 1:29:36Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Joey Karate's great. That fucking guy's such an animal.

• 1:29:40Speaker 02

  He's a fun guy.

• 1:29:41Speaker 03

  He kicks and he's got his leg up to him by his knee height.

• 1:29:43Joe Rogan?

  It's pretty good, dude.

• 1:29:46Speaker 02

  Is he around? Did he move here yet?

• 1:29:48Joe Rogan?

  No, but he's coming back and forth all the time. There he is.

• 1:29:51Speaker 02

  Oh, man. That's crazy.

• 1:29:55Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ. How's he alive?

• 1:29:57Speaker 03

  Without context of a background, it's wild.

• 1:29:59Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:30:00Joe Rogan?

  Bro, that belly is crazy.

• 1:30:01Speaker 02

  You gotta have a decent hog if you're gonna have that gut.

• 1:30:03Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he's got a hell of a hog. Is he grubbing or boozing? What's that? What is that?

• 1:30:06Speaker 03

  Grubbing.

• 1:30:07Joe Rogan?

  Food. He's grubbing? Oh, yeah, Joey can't stop eating.

• 1:30:10Speaker 03

  He doesn't really drink.

• 1:30:10Speaker 02

  Always high.

• 1:30:11Joe Rogan?

  He doesn't drink at all. I go to eat with Joey, it's, it's a scene.

• 1:30:14Speaker 03

  It's a fun time.

• 1:30:15Joe Rogan?

  He loves it.

• 1:30:15Speaker 02

  Oh, that poor gee.

• 1:30:16Joe Rogan?

  He goes off, eats, he eats.

• 1:30:20Joe Rogan?

  He fucking loves food, but he's just.

• 1:30:22Speaker 03

  Oh my god, a Chinese place by my place, you gotta come.

• 1:30:24Joe Rogan?

  He's the most fun human.

• 1:30:25Speaker 03

  It sucks.

• 1:30:27Joe Rogan?

  He's the most fun human that's ever existed.

• 1:30:29Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:30:30Joe Rogan?

  No one's more fun.

• 1:30:31Speaker 02

  It's good egg.

• 1:30:32Joe Rogan?

  He's barely a real person, so a human cartoon.

• 1:30:34Speaker 03

  Barely real. He's so funny.

• 1:30:36Speaker 02

  So he's still getting up on stage? He's still doing sets.

• 1:30:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he killed. He killed. He was here, he did an hour.

• 1:30:42Speaker 02

  Oh wow.

• 1:30:43Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's got all these great stories. It's really, really good. Really well done.

• 1:30:47Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 1:30:48Speaker 03

  He is the man.

• 1:30:48Speaker 02

  Good to have him back.

• 1:30:51Speaker 02

  That's the thing about comedy, we're kinda losing the, uh, the wildness. You know, when I, when I started comedy, it was like Geraldo and all these guys are all dead now.

• 1:30:59Speaker 03

  Drugs.

• 1:30:59Joe Rogan?

  I think it's kinda coming back now, though. I think it's coming back because TV's going away. So it's like it gets down to the root of what is really effective in comedy. It's, wildness is more effective. It's, it's more fun. If you're sitting there drunk in a crowd and some dudes on stage going off saying crazy shit, it's more fun.

• 1:31:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz you live through them.

• 1:31:18Speaker 03

  But I don't know if that's actually here. I think there's a lot of fucking guys with jobs.

• 1:31:22Speaker 02

  Sober, a lot of sobriety.

• 1:31:24Speaker 03

  Gotta get up early for a podcast tomorrow.

• 1:31:26Joe Rogan?

  These young guys, though, these young guys aren't like that. A lot of these young guys coming up are doing drugs.

• 1:31:30Speaker 03

  They're doing clips.

• 1:31:31Speaker 02

  Oh, good.

• 1:31:32Joe Rogan?

  Well, they're doing clips, but they're, they're still wild, boys.

• 1:31:34Speaker 03

  Some people are still giving it, bringing it.

• 1:31:36Speaker 02

  You hope so.

• 1:31:37Speaker 03

  It used to be, Late Night in the Cellar used to be so much fun.

• 1:31:40Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:31:40Speaker 03

  When Macky was drinking, when it was just a drinking crowd.

• 1:31:42Speaker 02

  It was a lot of, a lot of whiskey.

• 1:31:44Joe Rogan?

  There, there's, there's that here.

• 1:31:46Speaker 03

  Here.

• 1:31:47Joe Rogan?

  Here, for sure. Yeah. Like last night.

• 1:31:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, last night was nice.

• 1:31:49Joe Rogan?

  We did it last night. Yeah.

• 1:31:51Speaker 02

  Oh, what happened? What'd I miss?

• 1:31:52Joe Rogan?

  We just, we just had a couple of drinks.

• 1:31:54Speaker 03

  Just some bros being bros.

• 1:31:55Joe Rogan?

  I was begging him to, I was, I've, I've changed my new, uh, peer pressure method.

• 1:31:59Speaker 03

  He's like, oh, come on, drink. I'm like, no, I gotta get up early tomorrow. He's like, dude, I'm like, oh, you're gonna call me gay?

• 1:32:04Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 1:32:04Speaker 03

  And lame? Bro, I've been gone, I've had time to room it in this.

• 1:32:07Speaker 02

  You can peer. You can peer with the best.

• 1:32:09Joe Rogan?

  I got a new peer pressure.

• 1:32:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, he goes, no, I'm just saying, like, I wanna drink and I don't wanna be alone. If you're a friend.

• 1:32:13Joe Rogan?

  No, I was, no, I was like, I was like, look, I was like, tomorrow's gonna be tough for me. I'd like it to be tough for somebody else. Do me a favor. Chug that fucking drink.

• 1:32:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, beer one.

• 1:32:24Speaker 03

  He always comes in, he has no idea what your count is. He just comes in, he goes, you could do more. I'm like, yeah, I could've done one or seven, and you would have no clue. You're just like, you gotta go more.

• 1:32:33Speaker 02

  DeRosa's up there, too.

• 1:32:34Joe Rogan?

  DeRosa's the worst. He's the number one. Do a shot, it's my birthday month.

• 1:32:37Speaker 05

  Yes, yes, he's like a chick.

• 1:32:40Speaker 03

  He's the biggest pig in comedy.

• 1:32:42Joe Rogan?

  He is a pig, dude.

• 1:32:43Speaker 05

  I hate him. He'll pour shots in your mouth, he doesn't care, he'll tilt your hand.

• 1:32:47Speaker 03

  He'll also go like, "Come on, don't be a pussy, do a shot," and then you do, and then 10 minutes later, he's gone and he's at KFC.

• 1:32:56Joe Rogan?

  He's so funny, he always shits on weed people, too.

• 1:32:58Speaker 05

  I know, he hates weed.

• 1:33:00Joe Rogan?

  It's so weird.

• 1:33:01Speaker 05

  I like his...

• 1:33:01Speaker 03

  He's a classic drinker.

• 1:33:03Speaker 05

  I'm with him, dude.

• 1:33:04Speaker 03

  He's a classic drinker.

• 1:33:05Speaker 05

  I think he was just around a lot of, all the New York comics got sober and then just smoked weed constantly.

• 1:33:10Speaker 03

  Got bored.

• 1:33:11Speaker 05

  And then they're like, "Oh, you're drinking again?" It's like, dude, you haven't had a thought in fucking seven years, so... What the fuck are you talking about? Right, it's all munchies.

• 1:33:21Joe Rogan?

  It is something, I mean, everything can be abused.

• 1:33:23Speaker 03

  There's only a couple of people in comedy that do weed like real good, like Soder, Jay.

• 1:33:28Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:33:28Speaker 03

  Where they're like, they're just the same.

• 1:33:30Speaker 05

  Gomez.

• 1:33:30Speaker 03

  They're just happy.

• 1:33:31Joe Rogan?

  Chappelle.

• 1:33:32Speaker 05

  Chappelle. Cause yes, most people go in on weed.

• 1:33:35Speaker 03

  Freeze load.

• 1:33:35Speaker 05

  They still are out in fun.

• 1:33:37Joe Rogan?

  Right, it's a personality thing.

• 1:33:39Speaker 05

  Totally.

• 1:33:39Speaker 03

  They're still, still active, a lot, yeah, mostly.

• 1:33:41Joe Rogan?

  It's also, I think it's a biological thing, cause I think it affects people very differently.

• 1:33:45Speaker 05

  Definitely.

• 1:33:46Speaker 03

  Can you get high when you smoke?

• 1:33:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Jamie gets high when he smokes.

• 1:33:49Speaker 03

  Okay, cool.

• 1:33:49Joe Rogan?

  Edibles just don't work on the kid.

• 1:33:51Speaker 05

  That's wild.

• 1:33:52Joe Rogan?

  Young Jamie shrugs them off.

• 1:33:53Speaker 05

  That's crazy.

• 1:33:54Joe Rogan?

  You try to dose him up, he'll smile right in your face.

• 1:33:56Speaker 05

  Jamie, I'd like, I'd like you to have a brewsky, what's going on here? It'd be nice. We talked about this earlier, and I'd like, I'd love for you to get involved today. You talked at me, I didn't really... Uh-oh, put on the beer, put on the beer! All of a sudden, I'm talking, well, it worked, he's drinking.

• 1:34:12Speaker 05

  He said something nasty, and that's fine. I hope you forgive me for that.

• 1:34:15Joe Rogan?

  What'd he say?

• 1:34:16Speaker 05

  He said, "You talked at me." I'm trying to include you and have, let's have fun. Jamie was a sassy bitch.

• 1:34:20Joe Rogan?

  He's just being, he's just clarifying.

• 1:34:22Speaker 03

  He's an assassin.

• 1:34:23Speaker 05

  You talked at me, I didn't talk at you, how did I talk at you? Well, you said it was a discussion, I mean, it was one way. We had a little discussion, and then I said, "Let's go watch Sixers Celtics, let's have a couple beers, then..." That's a great night. "Go to a bar, watch the Celtics." Hell yeah!

• 1:34:35Joe Rogan?

  Peer pressure. Fun times. Fun times. You can upload it with four beers. You're Pierce Morgan. Yeah, leave it till Monday. We don't care. This episode is brought to you by Chime. And I know people don't usually get excited about banking, but Chime is doing something different and it's worth paying attention to. In a recent survey, they ranked the number one choice for new checking accounts in America. That means real people, millions of them, are choosing this over traditional banks. That's because banking at Chime is fee-free. No monthly fees, no overdraft fees, and thousands of fee-free ATMs. But here's the real kicker. If you get their Chime card, it gives you

• 1:35:15Joe Rogan?

  5% cash back on a category you actually pick yourself. Your savings rate, crazy high. It's nine times the national average. They're calling it the most rewarding way to bank. Go to chime.com/rogan. Takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for more details. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner, BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session. And with World Mental

• 1:35:59Joe Rogan?

  Health Day on the 10th, now's the perfect time to give it a try. In fact, don't even wait until the 10th, because all that stress you feel, it's not waiting around. So instead of letting it build up, sign up for a therapy session and unload at any time, not just on World Mental Health Day. If you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks, and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don't have insurance or live outside of the United States? You can still get 10% off your first month. Visit betterhelp.com to explore your payment options. That's better, H-E-L-P, dot com.

• 1:36:43Joe Rogan?

  When are you getting that car?

• 1:36:44Speaker 05

  Tomorrow.

• 1:36:45Speaker 02

  A tree fell on his car.

• 1:36:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, tree smashed my car. Really? From what, the winds here? They were doing some fucking roadwork right in front of my house and the vibrations.

• 1:36:56Speaker 03

  They building seven your car?

• 1:36:59Speaker 02

  You got second tower?

• 1:37:01Speaker 05

  I really did, dude.

• 1:37:04Speaker 05

  The house I live in, I'm renting this house, it's like one of those new, like prefab fucking or whatever those things are. These new Austin houses, which are all the exact same, which I kinda don't fucking like at all. It's not a home.

• 1:37:15Speaker 03

  Is that the same one you've been in?

• 1:37:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's like a 15 foot ceiling for no reason, it's one floor.

• 1:37:19Speaker 02

  El couch.

• 1:37:20Speaker 03

  It has this type of wall that's like too standard.

• 1:37:23Joe Rogan?

  It's a beautiful house.

• 1:37:24Speaker 05

  It is very nice and the last house I was in was a fucking Queens apartment.

• 1:37:29Speaker 03

  Right. That had more soul than this place.

• 1:37:32Speaker 05

  More soul for sure, but when I first walked into the house I'm in now, I was like, holy fuck, this is incredible.

• 1:37:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:38Speaker 05

  Now I'm like, now I'm a fucking piece of shit.

• 1:37:42Speaker 02

  It looks like a house from a porn.

• 1:37:43Speaker 03

  It's an Airbnb type thing.

• 1:37:45Speaker 05

  It is an Airbnb, yeah.

• 1:37:46Joe Rogan?

  It is weird how money changes you.

• 1:37:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:37:48Joe Rogan?

  Like it changes what you're accustomed to. You get a little accustomed to the nice things.

• 1:37:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, you get accustomed to the nice things, but I keep trying to change and I'm just not really changing.

• 1:38:00Joe Rogan?

  What do you mean? Well, as a human?

• 1:38:01Speaker 02

  Nah, yeah, the cement is dry. You're always gonna be mechanicsburg.

• 1:38:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's mechanicsburg, it's light beers, it's like all of a sudden I realized I'm just getting drunk at higher places.

• 1:38:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:38:10Speaker 05

  Like I'm just in a taller building getting drunk.

• 1:38:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, with more expensive beer.

• 1:38:13Speaker 05

  The exact same now.

• 1:38:14Speaker 03

  Everybody at Deep Creek.

• 1:38:17Speaker 02

  It's the same beer, but the prices go up.

• 1:38:18Speaker 03

  Everybody at Deep Creek was like poor white trash in like Maryland and then they like got rich and like when they were poor, like we could just barely afford one Bud Light. Another rich like 10 Bud Lights.

• 1:38:29Speaker 03

  Deep Creek Lake is where pontooners go to party.

• 1:38:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, pontoons.

• 1:38:32Joe Rogan?

  Where's that?

• 1:38:33Speaker 03

  It's like deep, almost by West Virginia. Man made giant lake. It rules.

• 1:38:38Speaker 02

  Same with New Orleans, we'd go out to the bogachita in Tube all day. Remember tubing? You'd sit on a river with a beer floating in circles.

• 1:38:46Speaker 03

  You just jump down, walk along with it.

• 1:38:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, you'd just pee in the water.

• 1:38:49Joe Rogan?

  I think it's good that you're not changing. It's a good sign.

• 1:38:52Speaker 05

  It'd be nice if I could.

• 1:38:54Speaker 02

  Nah, I mean you'd change a little, you know, you got some good stuff going on and a nice car.

• 1:38:59Speaker 03

  Literally if you said this to Shane yesterday, if you go, you've changed, he'd be like, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

• 1:39:05Speaker 05

  Well, it's just wrong. And I'd go, goddamn, I wish I could.

• 1:39:08Joe Rogan?

  He dressed the same.

• 1:39:09Speaker 02

  But you're not gonna stay at a Holiday Express.

• 1:39:12Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:39:12Joe Rogan?

  You've handled, you've handled fame very well.

• 1:39:15Speaker 03

  Shane, you've handled it pretty well.

• 1:39:16Joe Rogan?

  You haven't gotten weird at all. Now, some people get weird just from the pressure of it.

• 1:39:20Speaker 03

  Almost everybody.

• 1:39:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:22Speaker 03

  Almost everybody.

• 1:39:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:23Speaker 03

  Ninety-eight percent get like different.

• 1:39:25Speaker 02

  I'm thinking of eight comics in my head right now who have gone full diva.

• 1:39:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they get weird. It's very strange.

• 1:39:30Speaker 03

  Shane, I know you have not changed.

• 1:39:32Speaker 05

  Oh, the bottle?

• 1:39:34Speaker 05

  You've changed, bro. You fucking changed. What the fuck? Wait, you were holding bottles, dude? Do it for Israel. Now, this is.

• 1:39:43Joe Rogan?

  That's without the taste of aluminum. Some people like the aluminum taste.

• 1:39:46Speaker 03

  Bottle beer taste in a can. It was a commercial I remember when I was little.

• 1:39:49Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 1:39:49Speaker 03

  It was some, it was, it was some out, some beer and they go, "Bottle beer taste in a can." I was like, "Is bottle beer better?"

• 1:39:55Joe Rogan?

  Some people like the aluminum flavor.

• 1:39:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:39:59Speaker 03

  I like, give me a glass.

• 1:40:00Speaker 05

  Bottle, bottle light.

• 1:40:02Joe Rogan?

  What's this?

• 1:40:04Speaker 03

  Bottle beer taste in a can?

• 1:40:05Speaker 02

  Keystone.

• 1:40:05Speaker 05

  That's what it was?

• 1:40:06Speaker 02

  That's a shitty beer.

• 1:40:07Speaker 05

  Bottle beer taste in a can. What? My memory served?

• 1:40:09Speaker 02

  Bad beer.

• 1:40:10Joe Rogan?

  Cross those keystones.

• 1:40:11Speaker 02

  This is a commercial from nineteen forty-eight.

• 1:40:14Speaker 03

  That's what I remember.

• 1:40:15Speaker 02

  Look how grainy it is.

• 1:40:15Speaker 03

  I remember Israel got independence and I was watching this commercial.

• 1:40:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, have you guys, have you guys watched the Hogan doc?

• 1:40:21Speaker 03

  It's good.

• 1:40:22Joe Rogan?

  I heard it's great.

• 1:40:23Speaker 05

  I fucking cried.

• 1:40:24Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:40:25Speaker 05

  It's so good.

• 1:40:25Speaker 03

  When he's getting sued for taking down Belzer.

• 1:40:28Speaker 05

  He rules.

• 1:40:29Speaker 03

  And he's like, "I was making thirty-five hundred a month and I'm getting sued for five hundred thousand. I was famous but not rich." And they're like, "What are we gonna do?" Oh, he rules.

• 1:40:37Speaker 05

  I didn't even know he got sued for that.

• 1:40:38Speaker 03

  To, to go into MSG, I mean, he choked the guy unconscious.

• 1:40:41Speaker 02

  Have you seen the clapped him?

• 1:40:42Speaker 03

  And dropped him.

• 1:40:43Speaker 02

  His head is bleeding.

• 1:40:44Speaker 03

  He was wearing it too far.

• 1:40:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:45Speaker 03

  He did, he could have, John Jones used to do this all the time, but at least it was soft mat. This was like hard floor and he just, just like threw him.

• 1:40:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but John Jones is doing a UFC fight against Leoto Machida.

• 1:40:54Speaker 03

  Someone who agreed, yeah. He does it and then he, if he just laid him down, he'd be like point proven.

• 1:41:00Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:41:01Speaker 02

  But he had to bring it. He's on TV.

• 1:41:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, but think if you're drunk and on steroids and on coke. And somebody's like, "Yo, your shit's fake." Is that what Belzer said? That his fake?

• 1:41:11Speaker 03

  It's so funny too, cause he's like, cause he's like, "Oh, you think I'm fake? Is that fake?" You're like, "No, but you don't do that." When I'm talking, it is fake.

• 1:41:18Joe Rogan?

  Do you remember when John Stossel confronted that wrestler backstage?

• 1:41:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was great.

• 1:41:21Joe Rogan?

  And the wrestler just bitch slapped him a bunch of times, slapped the fuck out of him. I think that ruined that guy's career though. I think.

• 1:41:27Speaker 03

  Stossel, the wrestler?

• 1:41:27Joe Rogan?

  The wrestler.

• 1:41:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:29Joe Rogan?

  I don't know, I think, who was the wrestler?

• 1:41:32Speaker 02

  Stossel's still around.

• 1:41:33Joe Rogan?

  Stossel's still around, but I think it ruined the wrestler's career.

• 1:41:35Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:41:36Joe Rogan?

  Cause he beat the fuck out of him.

• 1:41:37Speaker 03

  He looks like, I feel like in my head, he looks like Sid Vicious or Diddy B.

• 1:41:40Joe Rogan?

  Dude, and he bitch slapped him open palm to the ear, which can definitely make you go deaf.

• 1:41:46Speaker 03

  But I mean, if you told BJ Penn in his prime, or, or, or, or, or anybody, like, I think what you do is fake, they'd be like, it's not.

• 1:41:52Joe Rogan?

  John Stossel was slapped twice by WWF wrestler, Dr. D, David Schultz backstage at Madison Square Garden. Had to call him pro wrestling fake during a 2020 expose. Incident left Stossel with pain and ringing in his ears, leading to a lawsuit against WWF.

• 1:42:07Speaker 02

  Jewish wrestler.

• 1:42:08Joe Rogan?

  You think he made money?

• 1:42:09Speaker 03

  Ari, just slip right out.

• 1:42:10Speaker 02

  Holy shit, that was like Batman.

• 1:42:11Joe Rogan?

  At least he's not pissing in a kombucha jar.

• 1:42:13Speaker 03

  He probably is.

• 1:42:14Speaker 02

  Give it an hour.

• 1:42:15Joe Rogan?

  Here it is, so he's grabbing him, he gets him in this sleeper hold, and he goes, he slumps, and then he just drops him.

• 1:42:21Speaker 02

  Head hit the, hit the floor hard.

• 1:42:23Speaker 03

  Professional is he though, when he gets up?

• 1:42:27Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 1:42:30Joe Rogan?

  So Belzer was talking shit, saying it was fake.

• 1:42:33Speaker 02

  Great host though, he pops right up and goes to commercial.

• 1:42:35Speaker 03

  Alright, we'll be right back.

• 1:42:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, head's bleeding and everything.

• 1:42:39Joe Rogan?

  That is crazy. Oh wow, look at the blood on the back of his head.

• 1:42:43Speaker 02

  It's spurting out on his jacket, look at that. What a pro.

• 1:42:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that is.

• 1:42:48Speaker 02

  Chris Rock could have learned a thing.

• 1:42:49Joe Rogan?

  Quite professional, he seems happy.

• 1:42:51Speaker 02

  Look at Mr. T, that guy's scary.

• 1:42:53Joe Rogan?

  Doesn't seem upset at all. And then he sued.

• 1:42:55Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:42:56Joe Rogan?

  But he gotta be a pro. But also, you gotta be, you know.

• 1:43:02Speaker 02

  I mean, his head looked like Kennedy.

• 1:43:05Joe Rogan?

  $400,000 settlement.

• 1:43:06Speaker 02

  I'm next.

• 1:43:06Joe Rogan?

  Famously used the money to buy a home in France, jokingly named it Shay Hogan.

• 1:43:12Speaker 02

  That's fun.

• 1:43:12Joe Rogan?

  He bought a house in France. He lived in France for a while.

• 1:43:15Speaker 03

  And Belzer a Jew? He's had to be.

• 1:43:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, got me.

• 1:43:18Speaker 03

  Got a lawsuit for that.

• 1:43:19Speaker 02

  Litigious.

• 1:43:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, he didn't use to pay medical bills, he bought a house. That means it's a bonus thing.

• 1:43:25Joe Rogan?

  In France.

• 1:43:26Speaker 02

  That's a Jew move.

• 1:43:27Joe Rogan?

  And I think he was still doing that Law and Order show, and just flying back and forth to France.

• 1:43:31Speaker 03

  Met him once, it's the funniest thing, cause I saw him in like, early, early, like doing those late night shows, you know, as a kid. And I was like, oh, that's a comedian. And then he's Done, a lot of comics have this trajectory, do nothing comedic.

• 1:43:42Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:43:42Speaker 03

  It's like comedic coded, serious.

• 1:43:45Joe Rogan?

  Well, he was a comic. He did a lot of comedy. I saw him do stand up in Boston in the eighties.

• 1:43:50Speaker 03

  In the eighties, but then he became like just serious, just a funny guy in serious roles, and not even that funny.

• 1:43:55Speaker 02

  No, and then dropped stand up.

• 1:43:56Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think it's just money and ease.

• 1:43:59Speaker 02

  It's so easy.

• 1:44:00Joe Rogan?

  It's that velvet prison. They start giving you money, you start showing up. Craft service, you're eating.

• 1:44:05Speaker 02

  Stand up is a blue collar job.

• 1:44:07Speaker 03

  Also, his coworker is a guy who made a song called Cop Killer. Like, he's like, I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich, we're both rich, don't even worry about who we used to be.

• 1:44:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's interesting.

• 1:44:17Speaker 03

  Chris Maloney.

• 1:44:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, so eventually they go, I'm just not that guy, I'm not twenty five anymore.

• 1:44:22Joe Rogan?

  I know, but I mean, it's still, Carlin did it till he died.

• 1:44:25Speaker 03

  Carlin was a real one.

• 1:44:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, Rickles.

• 1:44:29Speaker 03

  No, but Carlin was like anti-establishment, never changed who he was, and it was like.

• 1:44:33Joe Rogan?

  That was what Belzer was beginning, in the early days.

• 1:44:35Speaker 03

  He was kind of a Carlin guy.

• 1:44:37Joe Rogan?

  Very conspiracy theory. He wrote a book on Elvis, Bigfoot, and flying saucers, I think it was a book. I read it back in the day. It's a conspiracy theory book by Belzer.

• 1:44:45Speaker 00

  You have five different conspiracy books.

• 1:44:47Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 1:44:49Joe Rogan?

  UFOs, JFKs, and Elvis, conspiracies you don't have to be crazy to believe.

• 1:44:53Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:44:54Joe Rogan?

  Dead wrong, straight facts in the country's most controversial cover-ups, hit list, an in-depth investigation into mysterious deaths of witnesses, the JFK assassination.

• 1:45:02Speaker 02

  Wow, he's ahead of his time with that shit.

• 1:45:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he's, he was an interesting guy.

• 1:45:05Speaker 02

  Juanon.

• 1:45:07Joe Rogan?

  Very interesting guy.

• 1:45:09Speaker 02

  Wow, he, people loved him. He was a respected comedian, he was a crowd work guy. He was like, he was the host, he was always the host.

• 1:45:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, he was the crowd work press, I know, for five years.

• 1:45:19Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:45:19Speaker 00

  Crowd warm-up.

• 1:45:20Joe Rogan?

  Back, back in the day, he was, you know, like a comic's comic.

• 1:45:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:25Joe Rogan?

  But there was a bunch of those, like, like, Leno was the comic's comic.

• 1:45:28Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:45:29Joe Rogan?

  Back in the day.

• 1:45:30Speaker 03

  When I started, they were like, the second best, I also prior, but like, the second best comic, who is, who's that gonna be? And a lot of people were like, it was Leno. I'm like, what?

• 1:45:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:38Joe Rogan?

  What? Apparently, in the seventies, he was a fucking animal.

• 1:45:41Speaker 02

  That's what I hear.

• 1:45:41Speaker 03

  Like, you get that for a reason.

• 1:45:43Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:44Speaker 03

  You get, you don't, you're some open mic'er who gets a Tonight Show.

• 1:45:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but it's that thing, the Tonight Show was just the golden thing. Oh, you got the bomb.

• 1:45:52Speaker 02

  Not the fucking eagle.

• 1:45:53Joe Rogan?

  And he's got glasses on now.

• 1:45:56Speaker 02

  Keagles.

• 1:45:57Joe Rogan?

  The seventies was like the golden era for those kinda comics.

• 1:46:02Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. I mean, you had, uh, Carlin was, he got, I think, four heart attacks from coke.

• 1:46:07Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, really?

• 1:46:08Speaker 02

  Something like that, yeah. Maybe Pryor was four and he was three, but they were both up there.

• 1:46:12Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ. I didn't know Carlin had that many heart attacks.

• 1:46:15Speaker 02

  I mean, give it a go, good JMO, it could be.

• 1:46:17Joe Rogan?

  How many heart attacks did Carlin? He had three heart attacks from cocaine?

• 1:46:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:46:22Joe Rogan?

  We also had a pill problem for a while.

• 1:46:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:46:25Joe Rogan?

  He had to get off pills. This is like later in his life.

• 1:46:27Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:46:28Joe Rogan?

  Like, late, late in his life, he was hooked on the pills.

• 1:46:30Speaker 02

  Oh yeah.

• 1:46:31Joe Rogan?

  Carlin. Yeah, late in his life.

• 1:46:33Speaker 02

  Big drug guy.

• 1:46:33Joe Rogan?

  Deep into his sixties and seventies.

• 1:46:35Speaker 03

  He was the coolest of all the old amazing guys I met. He was up there for sure, but like, I had to go get him a sandwich.

• 1:46:42Speaker 02

  Really? Wait, what?

• 1:46:44Speaker 03

  He did like a month at the store.

• 1:46:45Speaker 02

  Shut up.

• 1:46:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, a month of mainroom shows.

• 1:46:47Joe Rogan?

  Oh yeah.

• 1:46:47Speaker 02

  What year?

• 1:46:49Joe Rogan?

  Uh, two thousands?

• 1:46:50Speaker 03

  Two thousand one, two thousand two, two thousand three.

• 1:46:51Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:46:52Speaker 03

  And I got him a Greenblatt sandwich. I go, here you go. He gave me twenty bucks. I was like, oh, no, no, man, they covered it. He goes, I know. It's for you. I was like, alright. Sorry, Mr. Carlin. He goes, don't call me that.

• 1:47:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he was cool.

• 1:47:04Speaker 03

  It's George.

• 1:47:04Joe Rogan?

  He was very unassuming. He was hanging out in the back area by the parking lot.

• 1:47:08Speaker 03

  He would also sit in the back in Mitzi's chair, you know, that one. And, and if you did well, he'd stay open mic sometimes, but only if you did well. He'd be like, good job, man.

• 1:47:16Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:47:17Speaker 03

  And then other people didn't, and he'd be like, hi.

• 1:47:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:19Speaker 02

  Wow, he zinged me pretty good once.

• 1:47:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he was a real comic.

• 1:47:22Speaker 02

  I, I did a, he did a book signing, cause he had all those books, and I brought like four books to meet him at Borders on Wall Street. And I waited in line, and all these people are going like, I love you in Jersey Girl, I love you in Bill and Ted's. And I was like, ah, these people don't know comedy. So I went up and I was like, I love this, this special, back in town, amazing, whatever. And he goes, what do you do? I go, I'm a comic. He goes, yeah, you got a real talent for jacking around. That's what he said.

• 1:47:44Speaker 03

  Jacking around?

• 1:47:45Speaker 02

  I don't even know what that means.

• 1:47:46Speaker 03

  What does jacking around mean?

• 1:47:47Speaker 02

  He seemed like he hated me.

• 1:47:50Speaker 03

  You got a real talent for jacking around.

• 1:47:53Speaker 02

  He goes, you sound like a comic. I go, oh yeah? He goes, yeah, you got a real talent for jacking around.

• 1:47:56Speaker 03

  Jacking around.

• 1:47:57Speaker 02

  I don't know what that means, but I, I'll take it.

• 1:47:59Joe Rogan?

  Seventies lingo.

• 1:48:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:01Joe Rogan?

  I mean, he was around the day when Lenny Bruce was around.

• 1:48:04Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, he got arrested at his show.

• 1:48:06Joe Rogan?

  Did he really? He got arrested with Lenny Bruce?

• 1:48:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were in the same cop car.

• 1:48:09Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:48:09Speaker 02

  It's a big story. That was his hero.

• 1:48:12Speaker 03

  Carlin came in the shop left.

• 1:48:15Speaker 05

  What?

• 1:48:15Speaker 03

  Delete that, Jamie.

• 1:48:16Speaker 05

  No. Jamie.

• 1:48:18Speaker 03

  Jamie, delete that, please.

• 1:48:19Speaker 05

  That was a Jamie, keep it, keep it.

• 1:48:20Joe Rogan?

  That was a dry bomb.

• 1:48:23Speaker 05

  I didn't catch it. We all tried to sort it out. We didn't even know you were joking.

• 1:48:26Joe Rogan?

  We all tried to sort it out, like, what? Am I missing this?

• 1:48:29Speaker 03

  What does he mean by that?

• 1:48:30Speaker 05

  Leave it to Israel to bomb.

• 1:48:38Joe Rogan?

  Oh, those guys paved the fucking road.

• 1:48:40Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:48:41Joe Rogan?

  Tell you that.

• 1:48:41Speaker 03

  Getting arrested for jokes. Forget a heckler or some blogger.

• 1:48:45Joe Rogan?

  What, ruined?

• 1:48:45Speaker 03

  Going to jail.

• 1:48:46Joe Rogan?

  Ruined Lenny Bruce's life.

• 1:48:48Speaker 05

  Totally.

• 1:48:48Joe Rogan?

  At the end of his life, he was just reading off court transcripts onstage. And the people get so bummed out. They're like, hey, tell some jokes.

• 1:48:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, we're here for you to do the thing.

• 1:48:56Joe Rogan?

  There's video of it. I bought video back in the day, VHS tapes of his recordings. And one of the recordings was him onstage in this small club, like, just reading off court transcripts.

• 1:49:07Speaker 05

  Ah.

• 1:49:08Joe Rogan?

  And it was just terrible.

• 1:49:09Speaker 05

  It's like guys who get canceled and that's all they talk about. Right, right. That's what happens.

• 1:49:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I can.

• 1:49:14Speaker 03

  Becomes their thing. It's so crazy. You did an offhanded thing and then now it's your everything.

• 1:49:19Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 1:49:19Speaker 03

  You got beaten one race by a chick and now that's your whole life. By a trans chick. That one, she went nuts. That girl who lost, who came in fifth at a fucking race by a trans chick.

• 1:49:28Speaker 05

  Oh, well, hold on a second. That one's kind of fair. Yeah, that's a different thing. She should go, why the fuck is this allowed?

• 1:49:33Speaker 03

  Not 10 years later. Where she still made her life.

• 1:49:36Speaker 05

  What are you even talking about? A comic got beaten in a race?

• 1:49:38Speaker 03

  Not a comic.

• 1:49:38Speaker 05

  No, he's talking about the lady. I don't know, it was a female athlete who lost to a trans athlete. And she's going, we should have laws about this. The swimmer?

• 1:49:45Joe Rogan?

  Which one? Oh, that's Riley Gaines.

• 1:49:47Speaker 03

  It's her whole fucking personality now. She didn't go to school for that. She was on a track. One thing happened. And then she's like, completely changed. Same as when comics get canceled. It's like, oh, that's all be that forever.

• 1:49:57Joe Rogan?

  She actually had a good point. Because not only did she not lose to that person, the Leah guy.

• 1:50:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:50:02Joe Rogan?

  But tied. And then the Leah guy got the trophy and not her.

• 1:50:06Speaker 03

  No, no, but there's more to that.

• 1:50:07Speaker 05

  Leah Thomas.

• 1:50:08Speaker 03

  No, they tied for fourth.

• 1:50:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:11Speaker 03

  Fourth and fifth. And they go, hey, we only have four trophies. We're gonna get killed if we don't give it to the trans lady. Can we just send you one later?

• 1:50:18Joe Rogan?

  Do you know how crazy that is, though? Do you know how crazy that is? You get it, give it to a guy who pretended he was a girl.

• 1:50:23Speaker 05

  I'd be mad if that was at a fucking comedy competition that no one saw.

• 1:50:26Speaker 03

  No, that's, we'll send it to you next week.

• 1:50:28Speaker 05

  Well, wait, why is the guy coming in fourth? He should be one.

• 1:50:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, for sure.

• 1:50:31Speaker 05

  This guy sucks.

• 1:50:32Speaker 03

  All of them lost.

• 1:50:33Joe Rogan?

  Well, he sucked as a man.

• 1:50:34Speaker 03

  There was a first, second, and third, and none of those people involved came in first, second, and third. First, second, and third, nobody cares about. Fourth and fifth is what they're arguing about.

• 1:50:42Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:50:43Speaker 05

  Wait, I don't understand what your argument is, though.

• 1:50:45Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:50:46Speaker 05

  It's like, who cares? It's like, yeah.

• 1:50:47Speaker 02

  He's drunk.

• 1:50:47Speaker 03

  No, no, no. To make it your whole life after that is what you're saying about cancelled comics. They become that thing.

• 1:50:52Speaker 05

  I understand, but.

• 1:50:53Speaker 03

  She was going to school for not that, and now that's her job.

• 1:50:57Speaker 05

  Who cares what they're going to school for?

• 1:50:59Speaker 03

  You're saying it changed your whole trajectory.

• 1:51:00Speaker 02

  What'd you go to school for, bitch?

• 1:51:02Speaker 03

  English, literature, breaking down analysis of life and stuff.

• 1:51:05Speaker 02

  Are you doing well on that right now?

• 1:51:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, pretty much.

• 1:51:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's doing terrible at it.

• 1:51:09Speaker 02

  This moment right here, it's failing you.

• 1:51:11Speaker 03

  No, you say these cancelled comics go and they can make that their whole life. This chick is not doing that. She tied a race for fourth and fifth, and now that's all she does for a living.

• 1:51:20Speaker 02

  What is an example of a cancelled comic that's made it their whole life?

• 1:51:23Speaker 05

  Like, who, what cancelled without naming?

• 1:51:25Speaker 03

  I don't want to name anybody.

• 1:51:26Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:51:27Speaker 03

  But you, we've just talked about that. There's a lot of comics.

• 1:51:29Speaker 05

  I understand, I understand what you're saying.

• 1:51:31Speaker 02

  Hey, Jew is on Netflix.

• 1:51:33Speaker 03

  Jew's on Netflix.

• 1:51:33Speaker 02

  It's on Netflix now. That is pretty cool that Netflix bought it after it was out on YouTube.

• 1:51:37Speaker 03

  They didn't buy it, they're just putting it up.

• 1:51:38Speaker 02

  Ah, fucking Jews. They gotcha.

• 1:51:41Speaker 03

  I don't care.

• 1:51:42Speaker 02

  They gotcha.

• 1:51:43Speaker 05

  It was already on YouTube.

• 1:51:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm totally, I agree with it.

• 1:51:46Speaker 02

  Can you keep it on YouTube as well, or you have to take it down? Hey, that's very.

• 1:51:49Joe Rogan?

  How many views it have on YouTube?

• 1:51:51Speaker 02

  Millions.

• 1:51:51Speaker 03

  Eight million.

• 1:51:52Speaker 02

  Eight million. It should have been six. That would have been great. Oh, six million.

• 1:51:56Joe Rogan?

  Chain at the Creek is like fifty now.

• 1:51:57Speaker 03

  Fifty-three.

• 1:51:58Speaker 02

  That's insane.

• 1:51:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, there's a Indian guy that broke the record in a week.

• 1:52:03Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:52:04Speaker 02

  Oh, is that right?

• 1:52:05Speaker 05

  Indian comic put it up and I, somebody sent it to me and they're like, he broke your record in a week.

• 1:52:09Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 1:52:10Speaker 05

  Fifty-five million in a week.

• 1:52:12Speaker 02

  Is it in Indian? Is it in Hindu?

• 1:52:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:52:14Speaker 02

  Is it the Canons guy?

• 1:52:15Speaker 03

  Fifty languages.

• 1:52:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's gone.

• 1:52:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, those Indian guys. There's billions of them.

• 1:52:20Joe Rogan?

  But how do you know with, this is a thing with views these days, though. There's companies that will jack your views up.

• 1:52:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that's.

• 1:52:27Speaker 02

  Sure, you gotta pay for that.

• 1:52:28Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but you could pay for it, but you could get millions of views that way.

• 1:52:31Speaker 03

  You can see the difference in like, we always do this when we talk shit about people who do it.

• 1:52:34Joe Rogan?

  Engagement?

• 1:52:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're like, they're like, five million views, thirty comments.

• 1:52:38Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 1:52:39Speaker 05

  What's that about?

• 1:52:41Joe Rogan?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:52:42Speaker 02

  And what is a view? How much of you do you have to watch for a view to count?

• 1:52:45Speaker 03

  I think it's just a click and click off counts the view.

• 1:52:48Joe Rogan?

  That's a good question.

• 1:52:48Speaker 03

  The best is when you send someone, like an agent or something, like a clip, you know, for them to see. And they go, we watched it, we're not happy with it. And then you look at it, like, still has zero views.

• 1:52:57Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 1:52:58Speaker 03

  It's a private clip.

• 1:52:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, you got to do it.

• 1:52:59Speaker 03

  You definitely didn't watch it.

• 1:53:01Speaker 02

  We liked it, we're not happy with it.

• 1:53:03Speaker 05

  Or, or more embarrassing, when someone sends you something like I just did. That guy sent me something and I've watched it thirty times. Oh, over and over? And it's just me in it. He's gonna see all the views and just me going, "Oh, that's so sick." "Oh, that's so sick."

• 1:53:19Speaker 02

  I feel bad for young comics. Everything is about views, shares, number of followers. How many followers do you have? It's not even about funny.

• 1:53:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:27Speaker 05

  I still think it is, though. It is.

• 1:53:29Speaker 02

  I think eventually the cream rises, but managers will literally be like, "We gotta hire this guy."

• 1:53:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, but they don't know shit.

• 1:53:34Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, they're clueless.

• 1:53:35Speaker 05

  It's kinda like the industry in general. They're like, "How much money did your movie make?" And then if they don't mind getting an Oscar nomination, but that's not what they're really in it for.

• 1:53:42Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:53:43Speaker 05

  I just, with the comics today being worried about, "You gotta put out cli- or clips, you gotta do that." It's like, sure, yeah, it's like, do it, but it's like...

• 1:53:53Speaker 02

  Build an act.

• 1:53:53Speaker 05

  I don't know. Comedians always have excuses for why they're not successful, which is fine. I did the exact same thing. But they're all like, "Well, this guy, yeah, he's only got it because he put all those clips out and did all..." It's like, I don't know.

• 1:54:06Speaker 02

  Whatever works, man.

• 1:54:07Speaker 05

  Try to be funny and see if it works.

• 1:54:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, who gives a fuck why someone's doing well? Who gives a shit if a YouTuber's selling out a comedy club? Who fucking cares? It's about you. What are you doing?

• 1:54:15Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:54:15Joe Rogan?

  Just do your shit.

• 1:54:16Speaker 05

  And I understand, again, I understand.

• 1:54:18Joe Rogan?

  Oh, by the way, I fucking loved that thing that you did where you did that documentary showing all the... Leading up to Boulder, the new thing that you did.

• 1:54:24Speaker 02

  Oh, you watched it?

• 1:54:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was great.

• 1:54:26Speaker 05

  The background.

• 1:54:26Speaker 02

  The documentary, thanks.

• 1:54:27Joe Rogan?

  It's great, and it's a great insight as to like the development of bits.

• 1:54:31Speaker 02

  Ah, jeez, I appreciate it. I wish you were my dad.

• 1:54:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:54:35Joe Rogan?

  Nah. I could be your dad.

• 1:54:37Speaker 05

  Mark, I want you to know, he told me that behind your back earlier.

• 1:54:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:40Speaker 05

  Me and him were just sitting out there. He was like, "You see that thing?" And I was like, "Fuck no, I'm not watching Mark's shit."

• 1:54:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's an hour long. It's good.

• 1:54:46Joe Rogan?

  It's not an hour long, I watched it. It's really good.

• 1:54:48Speaker 05

  What, on the way to the special?

• 1:54:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did it. Ten sold out at the Dallas Improv, and the special taped like a week or two later. So I was just tweaking and fine tuning, and I filmed all the bombs and all that shit.

• 1:54:58Joe Rogan?

  It's really great.

• 1:54:59Speaker 05

  Cool.

• 1:54:59Joe Rogan?

  It's really great because it's like him in a bodega, going over the bits, like reading, drinking coffee, reading over his lines, and then tweaking it and changing them.

• 1:55:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:55:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Hour and twelve minutes.

• 1:55:10Speaker 02

  Uh-oh, not the gay quote.

• 1:55:11Speaker 05

  That's gay.

• 1:55:12Joe Rogan?

  It's really good.

• 1:55:14Speaker 02

  So, yeah.

• 1:55:14Speaker 05

  Hold on, go back to Boulder, Colorado.

• 1:55:16Speaker 02

  The quote is relevant.

• 1:55:17Joe Rogan?

  "Struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine syphis- syphysis."

• 1:55:23Speaker 05

  That's a Salak's ad.

• 1:55:24Speaker 02

  It was.

• 1:55:25Speaker 05

  Pushing the boulder.

• 1:55:26Speaker 02

  Cause the boulder, we're shot in Boulder.

• 1:55:27Speaker 05

  Did you do this?

• 1:55:28Speaker 02

  I didn't do that part.

• 1:55:29Speaker 05

  Who did this?

• 1:55:30Joe Rogan?

  Albert Kamis.

• 1:55:30Speaker 02

  The director, Matt Salak.

• 1:55:32Speaker 05

  You should beat his ass.

• 1:55:34Joe Rogan?

  It is a little pretentious for what this is.

• 1:55:36Speaker 02

  A little bit.

• 1:55:39Speaker 03

  Sheath underwear.

• 1:55:40Speaker 02

  Come back to earth, yeah.

• 1:55:41Speaker 05

  Oh god, Mark, why you have a nice ass, you fucking homo?

• 1:55:47Speaker 02

  I'm plebicular.

• 1:55:48Speaker 05

  Why you have nice legs, you pussy?

• 1:55:49Joe Rogan?

  He microfractures his butt cheeks.

• 1:55:51Speaker 02

  I was deadly hungover there.

• 1:55:53Joe Rogan?

  That's hilarious.

• 1:55:54Speaker 02

  Just shitting it out.

• 1:55:55Joe Rogan?

  But it's a great, uh, it's really great for comics to see, especially young guys coming up, like what the process is like. You know, to see a guy like you who's been in the game a long time, is really good.

• 1:56:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:56:04Joe Rogan?

  See, oh, a bunch of specials are ready, see you bombing and tweaking and showing everybody the bit's not working well and then working really well.

• 1:56:10Speaker 02

  Ah, thanks. I appreciate it.

• 1:56:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, there is this idea that everything's magic.

• 1:56:15Speaker 02

  No, it just work.

• 1:56:15Speaker 03

  Like their struggle, they're like, oh, okay.

• 1:56:17Speaker 02

  Just trial and error. Like, how many times you seen Louis bomb and you're like, this guy's the best ever, why is he bombing?

• 1:56:22Joe Rogan?

  Chris Rock too. Yeah. Chris Rock used to come to the store and the crowd would go nuts and he would say, relax, it's not gonna be that funny.

• 1:56:27Speaker 02

  Right, right, lower your expectations.

• 1:56:29Joe Rogan?

  Because he was just running material and trying to find every possible angle and get laughs occasionally and sometimes not and then tweak it afterwards.

• 1:56:38Speaker 02

  Yep, yep, that's part of it. Bomb, that's why Eddie Murphy can't come back, because I don't think he's willing to bomb for, uh, you know, six months.

• 1:56:45Speaker 03

  It's not even six months, it's years. We've had this discussion on this podcast before, it's Player Kelly.

• 1:56:49Joe Rogan?

  It's also, it's the velvet prison, the movies, the fucking craft service, getting picked up in a limo. It's like the grind of writing your own material, putting it all together, everything riding on your back, like that is a warrior's game and some people don't want to do that anymore.

• 1:57:05Speaker 03

  It's also like you gotta do it Tuesday at the stand where there's nineteen people.

• 1:57:08Speaker 05

  I also understand older comics back in the day not wanting to do it because movies were so much more lucrative.

• 1:57:15Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:57:16Speaker 03

  Nowadays, stand-up is ten times more lucrative.

• 1:57:19Joe Rogan?

  Good point.

• 1:57:20Speaker 05

  And it's like, dude, do stand-up.

• 1:57:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, like, just do stand, I mean.

• 1:57:24Speaker 02

  But stand-up is a lot of work.

• 1:57:25Speaker 03

  A couple people back then go, I would take a pay cut if I did a sitcom and it was like a couple people and now it's like kinda everybody.

• 1:57:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:57:31Speaker 03

  You'd have to make Seinfeld money like season seven and beyond to go, I'll take off the road for this.

• 1:57:36Joe Rogan?

  Totally.

• 1:57:37Speaker 05

  And now there is no Seinfeld money, like it doesn't exist.

• 1:57:40Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:57:41Joe Rogan?

  Ms. Pat is the only person with a sitcom right now.

• 1:57:43Speaker 02

  Oh, what about this guy?

• 1:57:44Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's right. But you have, Tires is different though, because it's a single camera.

• 1:57:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:57:48Joe Rogan?

  Like, Tires is like a show.

• 1:57:50Speaker 03

  It's not a sitcom, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:57:51Joe Rogan?

  It's a show. It's a great, funny show.

• 1:57:54Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 1:57:54Joe Rogan?

  But it's like, there's a difference between the, the, the thing that everybody wanted was the live audience, four camera, you do it on NBC, CBS, you get residuals. That was like the golden carrot that they hung over your head.

• 1:58:06Speaker 03

  Totally. Stand Up, Stand Up couldn't pay.

• 1:58:08Joe Rogan?

  Right. No, nobody did anything but clubs back then. It was like Dice Clay.

• 1:58:13Speaker 03

  Yeah. We're at Nate's house.

• 1:58:14Joe Rogan?

  And then afterwards, it was Dane Cook.

• 1:58:15Speaker 03

  We saw a billboard, a poster, his thing's like a museum, and a poster for Evening at the Improv with him and Chris Rock. Who's that? Uh, David Spade. Oh, wow. And, uh, I was there with Nate, and, and he goes, uh, you did like, club for this? And he goes, bro, we only did clubs. None of us ever did theaters back then. If we were really good, you'd do six days at a club, but... Carlin did theaters. Yeah. Legends did theaters. Dice did MSG once. Yeah, Steve Martin, a couple times.

• 1:58:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Dice did MSG many times. He did Nassau Coliseum. Dice did, Dice was doing enormous places when no one was doing it. Dice was the original stadium act.

• 1:58:51Speaker 03

  But then it was no one until Dane.

• 1:58:54Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:58:54Speaker 03

  Between Dice and Dane, there was nobody. And now it's a lot. And now people are playing at Des Moines, they're playing arenas.

• 1:58:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:59:00Speaker 03

  It's not that many, guys.

• 1:59:01Joe Rogan?

  I mean, it's probably at least twenty.

• 1:59:03Speaker 03

  Comparing. Arenas?

• 1:59:04Joe Rogan?

  Bargatze, U.

• 1:59:06Speaker 03

  Sebastian, Tom.

• 1:59:07Joe Rogan?

  Regularly. Hinchcliffe, Louis.

• 1:59:10Speaker 05

  Well, hold on, fellas. It's not Des Moines.

• 1:59:13Speaker 03

  No, no. You, Sebastian, Gabriel.

• 1:59:16Joe Rogan?

  Gabriel's doing giant, like, Joe Coy, giant places.

• 1:59:20Speaker 03

  Kevin Hart.

• 1:59:21Joe Rogan?

  Matt Rife. Matt Rife, giant places.

• 1:59:23Speaker 03

  Matt Rife.

• 1:59:24Joe Rogan?

  Segura, Segura's doing arenas.

• 1:59:26Speaker 03

  I met a guy, I met an Indian kid outside New York Comedy Club.

• 1:59:29Joe Rogan?

  Indian kids will do something.

• 1:59:30Speaker 03

  And I was like, oh, what are you doing in town? He goes, doing comedy. I was like, oh, that's cool, man, where are you playing? And he goes, MSG. That doesn't count. I was like, what? Indians don't count. Congratulations. Indians don't count. Indians count as much as Christian movies count in the box office.

• 1:59:42Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:59:43Speaker 03

  You'd be top ten every time. Yeah. They're horrible.

• 1:59:46Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's hilarious.

• 1:59:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's prob- how, probably ten, ten, twelve? You know.

• 1:59:53Speaker 02

  Ten to twenty.

• 1:59:53Joe Rogan?

  That's four arenas?

• 1:59:54Speaker 03

  You see it on it.

• 1:59:55Joe Rogan?

  We're doing arena every once in a while.

• 1:59:57Speaker 03

  Rife?

• 1:59:58Joe Rogan?

  Matt Rife.

• 1:59:59Speaker 02

  Rife's doing a lot.

• 2:00:00Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. It's a matter of whether you wanna do arenas all the time.

• 2:00:03Speaker 03

  The point is, way more than no one between Dane and Dice.

• 2:00:07Joe Rogan?

  Right, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Cause comedy's so big now.

• 2:00:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, and there's a ton of guys doing fifteen hundred seaters.

• 2:00:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:00:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, a lot of them. Oh, Schultz, I think, does arena. I don't know if he's regularly doing it.

• 2:00:16Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he does regular arenas. Yeah, he does arenas regularly. Whenever he wants.

• 2:00:20Speaker 03

  Whenever he wants.

• 2:00:20Joe Rogan?

  Bert.

• 2:00:21Speaker 02

  Bert, yeah, Tom, yeah, there you go.

• 2:00:24Joe Rogan?

  Tony. There's a lot of people doing arenas now.

• 2:00:26Speaker 03

  Mostly guys from my storytelling show.

• 2:00:28Speaker 02

  Oh, which is also online, behind a paywall.

• 2:00:32Joe Rogan?

  The end.

• 2:00:33Speaker 03

  These three guys are on it. Arena comic.

• 2:00:35Joe Rogan?

  Nice.

• 2:00:36Speaker 03

  Theater comic, club, almost sells out Saturdays.

• 2:00:40Speaker 02

  You sell out.

• 2:00:41Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's just cause you're likable.

• 2:00:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, Tony, Nate, who, we had a bunch. You, Tony, Nate, Tom. Four arena comics.

• 2:00:53Speaker 02

  That's wild. The three private jets were at that show. That's insane, and we got paid five hundred bucks.

• 2:00:58Speaker 03

  I got a story. You can cut this out. You can cut this out if you want. Cut back in.

• 2:01:02Joe Rogan?

  And we're back.

• 2:01:03Speaker 02

  We're back.

• 2:01:04Speaker 03

  You should be mad at.

• 2:01:05Joe Rogan?

  I'd be furious.

• 2:01:06Speaker 03

  It stunk, bro.

• 2:01:06Speaker 02

  I wouldn't wanna do that.

• 2:01:07Speaker 03

  It stunk.

• 2:01:08Speaker 02

  With that last jet.

• 2:01:09Joe Rogan?

  We need a transition. We need a transition.

• 2:01:11Speaker 02

  Let's go back.

• 2:01:11Speaker 03

  Okay, wait, the, the.

• 2:01:12Joe Rogan?

  Nine eleven.

• 2:01:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:01:14Joe Rogan?

  What? What is that sound?

• 2:01:17Speaker 02

  Go, baby, go!

• 2:01:21Speaker 02

  Oh, look at the gay Ayatollah.

• 2:01:28Speaker 03

  Freedom's the only way.

• 2:01:28Joe Rogan?

  Stretch the hormones.

• 2:01:30Speaker 03

  Iran needs to understand, freedom's the only way.

• 2:01:33Speaker 02

  Woo, fuck the regime.

• 2:01:34Speaker 03

  We're coming back, brother.

• 2:01:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:01:37Speaker 03

  We're bombing everybody, brother. America, we need to bomb everybody. Fuck healthcare and homeless people. Dude, I'll tell ya, I met so many people who shit on America when I was traveling, it made me more nationalistic.

• 2:01:47Joe Rogan?

  I couldn't agree more, dude. If I go to another country and somebody's like, ah, you guys are mad about, I go, dude, you guys are doing nothing.

• 2:01:53Speaker 03

  Me and you are like, we need healthcare. We're doing, we're fucking up. And somebody's like, why don't you guys have healthcare? I'm like, why don't you shut your mouth?

• 2:01:59Joe Rogan?

  Cause we have stealth bombers, bitch.

• 2:02:01Speaker 03

  All the Australians, like, you choose your minorities bad. I'm like, you wiped yours out.

• 2:02:05Speaker 02

  Yes, we have football. Blow me.

• 2:02:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, we have college football, bro.

• 2:02:10Joe Rogan?

  Solid points. We got movies, music.

• 2:02:12Speaker 03

  Once you go to another country, that's when you go.

• 2:02:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:02:15Speaker 03

  Why don't you guys shut up?

• 2:02:15Joe Rogan?

  Who's number two with stand-up comedy? What country's number two?

• 2:02:18Speaker 03

  England.

• 2:02:19Joe Rogan?

  Oh, sure. Well, Ricky Gervais, Jimmy Carr, those are two greats. Carr is great. Carr is a national, international great. Carr is the best.

• 2:02:26Speaker 03

  Stuart Lee.

• 2:02:27Joe Rogan?

  Carr is so good.

• 2:02:28Speaker 03

  Carr's great.

• 2:02:28Joe Rogan?

  He was so good, he performed at the mothership, he's running all his new jokes. I was like, this guy is a motherfucker, dude. Great writer.

• 2:02:34Speaker 03

  He's just dominant and so calm.

• 2:02:36Joe Rogan?

  So smart, man. He's such a smart dude. Did you hear any of those brewskis? I'd like to get involved with them.

• 2:02:41Speaker 03

  What are you looking for this time?

• 2:02:42Joe Rogan?

  America!

• 2:02:43Speaker 03

  Glass or can?

• 2:02:44Joe Rogan?

  I would never waste a glass on a bong.

• 2:02:46Speaker 03

  Shane, Shane, you haven't changed at all.

• 2:02:48Joe Rogan?

  I wish I could, brother, it's time to change. You don't wanna change. I haven't changed. You have not. I don't think I have. You can't go out as much. You did change very little. Yeah, I get a little weird. You changed, yeah.

• 2:02:59Speaker 03

  You changed in unimportant ways. You're more into hunting.

• 2:03:03Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:03:04Speaker 03

  But like, it's not like, it's different.

• 2:03:06Joe Rogan?

  But that, to me, is like my way of staying sane.

• 2:03:09Speaker 03

  No, you just got a new hobby, that's not change.

• 2:03:11Joe Rogan?

  I do a bunch of things, like pool, archery, martial arts. Those things just keep me sane. I have to do some things that keep me from going off the rails.

• 2:03:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:03:18Joe Rogan?

  And staying off of Twitter.

• 2:03:20Speaker 03

  Didn't you have a thing where your...

• 2:03:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's a big one.

• 2:03:22Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Didn't you have a thing where your manager, or business manager, one of them was like, "Hey, Joe, we got it," when you just started headlining. "Kurt, you're wrong." We're like, "We gotta have a talk with you." And you're like, "What's the matter?" And they're like, "Buddy, we don't wanna get us out of hand. We know you have a gambling addiction, and we wanna get your help." And you're like, "What do you mean? Like, you're blowing through money in a way." And he goes, "No, I just love lobster and steak."

• 2:03:41Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I was eating steak and lobster every night. That was my first, my first development deal. My manager thought that I had a gambling problem, 'cause I was spending so much money. I'm like, "Bro, I'm eating steak and lobster every night." And he's like, "You're not worried at all you're gonna run out of money?" I go, "I'll make more money. We'll figure it out."

• 2:03:57Speaker 03

  Always made it.

• 2:03:59Joe Rogan?

  "Once we get in the gate," like, I'm one of those people that like, "If I figure it out how to get in the gate, I'm going. I'm gonna keep my foot on the gas, I'll be fine."

• 2:04:06Speaker 03

  Joe, you brought so many openers with you that we made more money than you.

• 2:04:12Speaker 03

  We did the math once, like, he's barely making more than us.

• 2:04:15Joe Rogan?

  But it was about fun.

• 2:04:16Speaker 03

  It was so fun.

• 2:04:17Joe Rogan?

  It has to be about fun. Because I did gigs with like, local guys, and some of them were great, like, that's how I got to meet Subura.

• 2:04:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:04:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I mean, I met a bunch of guys who became my friends that were like, local guys, but it was like, one out of ten. And that means nine times, I'm in a town, bored, watching TV, fucking not enjoying myself.

• 2:04:35Speaker 03

  And then being, sometimes they're mean.

• 2:04:37Joe Rogan?

  Sometimes they, they step on your material.

• 2:04:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:04:39Joe Rogan?

  On purpose.

• 2:04:40Speaker 03

  And sometimes, yeah, and sometimes it'll be like, they'll do the nagging thing a woman will do, where she's like, they'll like shit on you on purpose, like, I don't know you that, I'm trying to be nice to you.

• 2:04:47Joe Rogan?

  Well, there's a lot of weirdness, because you're the headliner, and they're jealous, and they think they should be the headliner.

• 2:04:51Speaker 03

  I'm better than you.

• 2:04:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:52Speaker 03

  You go do local material, and you're like, alright. Okay, buddy, fucking asshole.

• 2:04:56Joe Rogan?

  There's a lot of that.

• 2:04:57Speaker 03

  Hey, you should do this, hey, let's switch tomorrow.

• 2:04:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:59Speaker 03

  You can go on last for fifteen.

• 2:05:00Joe Rogan?

  But the gigs were always a party. We had fun everywhere we went. We had fun.

• 2:05:06Speaker 02

  Fun is key, like, I'll do Skankfest, and you make what, seventeen dollars?

• 2:05:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:05:10Speaker 02

  But, you know, my friend's like, ah, you make no money, I'm like, it's fun!

• 2:05:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:05:13Speaker 02

  It's a great weekend.

• 2:05:14Joe Rogan?

  We were, I was trying to explain this to guys in the...

• 2:05:17Speaker 03

  Wait, which friend?

• 2:05:18Joe Rogan?

  One of Tony's agents was trying to pitch this fucking horrible, not even Tony's agent. Someone was trying to pitch this horrible idea where Tony would take a percentage of everybody's podcast that was on Kill Tony, he was like, no fucking way. Like, he was, and, and I was like, that money, if you got it from them, you wouldn't, it wouldn't change the way you feel. You would feel the same. You wouldn't, you wouldn't say, I feel so much better now that I have X more dollars in the bank.

• 2:05:43Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 2:05:44Joe Rogan?

  But you would feel like a piece of shit, because you were fucking people over. It's, you would pay all that money back, plus, to not feel that way.

• 2:05:53Speaker 03

  To not feel bad, yeah, yeah, yeah, you would give it all back.

• 2:05:55Joe Rogan?

  You would, to not be a piece of shit. It's like...

• 2:05:58Speaker 03

  There's nothing better than helping your buddies.

• 2:06:00Joe Rogan?

  Nothing better.

• 2:06:01Speaker 03

  It's kind of the only nice thing.

• 2:06:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:06:02Speaker 03

  Shane pays, Shane pays people on the road out of spite.

• 2:06:06Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 2:06:07Speaker 03

  Like Lev, Lev was talking dumb shit. He was so fucking, couldn't get out of his own fat way. And he goes, "No, clubs are better than arenas, you're crazy." And Shane's like, "You've never done an arena." He goes, "Dude, you know how Lev is." "I'm all Jews." And he's like, "I know what I'm talking about." Out of spite, he goes, "I'm gonna give you a lot of cash to come over for me on the road." And Lev's like, "Arenas are better and I paid my rent for the year."

• 2:06:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, those shows, your crowds are great. Those shows are so fun. You do fifteen to twenty, you just play the hits, it's a great time.

• 2:06:40Joe Rogan?

  Fun is fun. Fun is fun everywhere you go.

• 2:06:42Speaker 03

  And I play Xbox with a bunch of guys from the NHL.

• 2:06:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 2:06:46Speaker 03

  Dude, crazy. You go to an arena. I don't think I've had a woman in my green room. It's just fifteen dudes.

• 2:06:52Speaker 02

  We're trying to have a good time here.

• 2:06:53Speaker 03

  We're playing Xbox. You can see the guy who owns arenas so disappointed too. They come in thinking it's gonna be cool, cause stand-up is cool now. And they come in, it's me, Soder and Shane playing some fucking video game. It just smells like body odor. And they're just like, "Ugh."

• 2:07:05Speaker 02

  And there's chicken nuggets in the rider.

• 2:07:07Speaker 03

  So my rider's chicken tenders in a case of beer. Second worst pizza in town and bring it.

• 2:07:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. But that video game you play brings everybody in. It's a great icebreaker.

• 2:07:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's the hangout afterwards. So many memories of us like, some town and just going to anybody in the street like, "Is there a place to eat around here?" Like, "I don't know, is it folk of the chow?" I was like, "What?" Yeah.

• 2:07:31Speaker 02

  Well, all you need is us. Like, in a green room sometimes, I'm like, "I don't even wanna go to the bar. This is the best."

• 2:07:35Joe Rogan?

  It's the hang. The hang's everything.

• 2:07:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, at the mothership, it's like, whenever it's like, "We're going under Mitzi's." I'm like, "Yeah, this is a great hang right here."

• 2:07:41Joe Rogan?

  This is great. We got liquor. Stay right here.

• 2:07:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, but Mitzi's, once it clears out, is perfect.

• 2:07:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Well, once the regular people are out.

• 2:07:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, once the crowd leaves.

• 2:07:52Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's the cool thing about Mitzi's, it becomes a private club after eleven people. That's nice.

• 2:07:57Speaker 03

  Always lose my voice in there, though.

• 2:07:58Speaker 02

  Same. Well, Tony's chain smoking, like a fucking old lady.

• 2:08:01Joe Rogan?

  He's chain smoking, everybody's drinking, there's great music playing.

• 2:08:05Speaker 03

  He's like, "Oh, hell yeah."

• 2:08:08Speaker 03

  Tony needs a cigarette extender. You didn't know less than a minute.

• 2:08:11Speaker 02

  Virginia Slims.

• 2:08:12Joe Rogan?

  His ability to write roast jokes is extraordinary. It's very weird.

• 2:08:16Speaker 03

  I gave him an angle yesterday on the...

• 2:08:20Speaker 02

  Can we say?

• 2:08:21Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 2:08:21Speaker 02

  Is he on the, uh, the big one?

• 2:08:23Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, I think, yeah.

• 2:08:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:08:24Speaker 03

  I just gave him an angle. I was like, what about this? He goes, ooh. I'm like, something like this? He goes, yeah, but wittier than that. Yes. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know how to write a joke.

• 2:08:31Speaker 05

  Well, as soon as you got off, I was like, they're there.

• 2:08:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're there. I'm like, yeah, now you do your thing with it.

• 2:08:35Speaker 05

  Those jokes are there.

• 2:08:36Joe Rogan?

  He thinks in like that kind of joke, like roast joke form. Like that's how, like, he's so fat, he blah, blah, blah. Like, that's how his mind works. It's really fun to watch. It's like, I, cause I don't, that muscle's a different muscle.

• 2:08:49Speaker 02

  It's a different muscle.

• 2:08:50Speaker 03

  Both your guys was good yesterday. I'm, yeah. It was funny watching them do a, gonna be a massive thing ahead of time for a crowd. The crowds were like, this is so cool.

• 2:08:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well, it's cool cause they get to see it worked out and then they're gonna get to see it live.

• 2:09:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:09:02Speaker 03

  And you get to see people go, really? No, not on that one?

• 2:09:05Speaker 05

  I'm very happy with the jokes.

• 2:09:06Speaker 02

  And you're going out cold, right? You gotta open it.

• 2:09:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:09:08Speaker 02

  That's tough.

• 2:09:09Speaker 05

  I'm worried about, uh, I don't think I'm a good host. As far as the, hey, everybody, we're on live on Netflix. I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that. I'm gonna go, all right, fuck that. Uh.

• 2:09:20Joe Rogan?

  Just be yourself. It doesn't matter.

• 2:09:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:09:22Joe Rogan?

  It don't matter. Once you start talking, it's all good.

• 2:09:25Speaker 03

  Dude, there's a video I saw Waylon Jennings Jr. I think it was him, and they're doing a, like a roast, like a barbecue. And they're like, we're here, waiting for him to show up, and he's been barbecuing into this thing for the last, you know, 14 hours. And then they, they come in, some ladies like interviewing him, just like, so we're ready for your roast? He goes, oh, that's not mine. He was like, no. And she was like, what do you mean? He goes, no, that's a TV thing. Uh, it's like, why? He goes, no, mine would be underground and we'd have like, moonshine. And she goes, for the base thing? No, for fun while we're waiting for the meat to come out.

• 2:09:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:09:54Speaker 03

  He just like ruined the TV version of it. He was like, no, that's a lie.

• 2:09:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got kicked off a Last Comic Standing for that. Cause they, they, they put you in a room and they're like, they want you to have drama. They're like, what do you think? Who are you gonna beat? And I'm like, I'm probably gonna lose. And they're like, no, no, no, you gotta like talk shit. And I'm like, oh, they don't want me on here. I'm gonna bomb. And they're like, what are you doing? You're ruining the show. They want you to be like, fuck that guy, I'm gonna take him down.

• 2:10:15Speaker 03

  Just say, hey guys, well anyway, we know what this, I don't know how you would do it, that's a tough part.

• 2:10:18Speaker 05

  I'll do it.

• 2:10:19Speaker 03

  That's a hard part.

• 2:10:19Speaker 05

  I'll do it. There's just a couple of jokes that I'm like, I know they're funny, but it's like, man. That's gonna be tough to tell publicly.

• 2:10:26Speaker 02

  They're dark.

• 2:10:27Speaker 03

  You had a couple of jokes in there that were like, you can hear the reaction of like laughter or like, oh.

• 2:10:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, and that's a fucking mothership crowd.

• 2:10:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:10:37Speaker 05

  It's a bunch of people that are like, I paid good money to see somebody be racist tonight.

• 2:10:42Speaker 03

  And they're like, bro, calm down.

• 2:10:46Speaker 05

  That's hilarious.

• 2:10:47Speaker 02

  The black jokes go hard.

• 2:10:48Speaker 03

  The black jokes go hard.

• 2:10:49Speaker 05

  They do.

• 2:10:50Speaker 02

  But hey, you know, it's a roast, this is what we want to see.

• 2:10:53Speaker 05

  I know, but I gotta go fucking first.

• 2:10:55Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 2:10:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, the emceeing and stuff, because you haven't emceed in forever.

• 2:10:58Speaker 02

  But is Kevin Hart gonna be there?

• 2:11:00Speaker 03

  I'm seeing, I've never done anything.

• 2:11:01Speaker 05

  Of course he's gonna be there.

• 2:11:02Speaker 02

  But like when he's out, if he's out first.

• 2:11:04Speaker 05

  He has to be there.

• 2:11:05Speaker 02

  If he's laughing, you're golden.

• 2:11:07Speaker 03

  He'll laugh.

• 2:11:08Speaker 05

  Oh, he'll laugh at everything.

• 2:11:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, so the black jokes with the black guy laughing, you're good to go.

• 2:11:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm not, it's more the...

• 2:11:15Speaker 02

  Internet?

• 2:11:15Speaker 03

  How you guys doing today?

• 2:11:16Speaker 05

  The crowd.

• 2:11:17Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 2:11:18Speaker 05

  Because it's in LA. I am gonna be, it's gonna be live and I'm gonna say some pretty offensive things. And then I'm gonna have to stay in the pocket of being like, I know the people at home like this.

• 2:11:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:11:27Speaker 05

  But now, an entire room of famous people don't like me.

• 2:11:31Speaker 02

  Ah, no, they're gonna kill.

• 2:11:33Speaker 05

  On paper, it sounds easy.

• 2:11:35Speaker 02

  I get it, I get it.

• 2:11:36Speaker 03

  Bro, I know people in the WNBA, like people that work in like management and the players. And I was going to war over your ESPYS thing.

• 2:11:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, what were they saying?

• 2:11:46Speaker 03

  They were not happy with it at all.

• 2:11:47Speaker 02

  What? That's a great bit!

• 2:11:49Speaker 05

  They seemed like a grumpy bunch anyway.

• 2:11:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:11:51Speaker 03

  Not happy with, they go, you gotta know who you're playing for. And I was like, right, to me at home watching.

• 2:11:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:11:56Speaker 03

  And they go, that's not, we're the audience. I'm like, no, you're in the room, we're all at home laughing, and we thought it was hilarious. They're like, she didn't even know this lady's name. We're like, well, that's his point.

• 2:12:06Speaker 02

  Neither did they. But the ESPYS was a good training ground for this.

• 2:12:10Speaker 05

  I was nervous and awkward on that.

• 2:12:12Speaker 02

  No, but they got 10 million views or whatever. It's for the internet.

• 2:12:16Speaker 03

  Anyway.

• 2:12:16Speaker 05

  America, fuck yeah!

• 2:12:19Speaker 03

  Suck a dick, bud.

• 2:12:20Speaker 05

  The motherfucking day.

• 2:12:22Speaker 02

  What night is the roast?

• 2:12:24Speaker 03

  It's Sunday.

• 2:12:25Speaker 05

  Sunday.

• 2:12:25Speaker 03

  Uh, Sunday.

• 2:12:26Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck, I wanna...

• 2:12:27Speaker 03

  I'm going.

• 2:12:28Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 2:12:28Speaker 05

  Where you at?

• 2:12:28Speaker 03

  My first one.

• 2:12:29Speaker 02

  I'm getting there Tuesday.

• 2:12:30Speaker 03

  Oh, no, it's next...

• 2:12:31Speaker 05

  Why don't you go there early?

• 2:12:33Speaker 03

  I get there Sunday and then...

• 2:12:35Speaker 05

  It's the 10th.

• 2:12:36Speaker 03

  It's the next Sunday.

• 2:12:37Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, okay, alright, cool.

• 2:12:40Speaker 03

  I think I have a gig. Me and Louis got matching Legion of Skanks outfits. Ah, you're on the team now. Yeah. How's that going?

• 2:12:46Speaker 05

  You're a member of the Legion of Skanks now.

• 2:12:47Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 2:12:48Speaker 05

  Oh, with Jay.

• 2:12:49Speaker 03

  Does this stop you from moving to UK? Unfortunately it does. Good, good. Fuck those lineys. Unfortunately, it's a massive opportunity for me creatively. I've, this is like a dream. You've been gone long enough. For the fucking Mossad plant to got out of there. The Mossad couple. So, I was like, ooh. Yeah, maybe I'll stay.

• 2:13:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, it'll be fun.

• 2:13:09Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you have to fuck going to England.

• 2:13:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:13:11Joe Rogan?

  They were gonna stab you anyway.

• 2:13:12Speaker 03

  You left enough.

• 2:13:15Speaker 03

  That's true, they'll stab you and steal your phone. They do get stabby over shooting.

• 2:13:18Speaker 05

  Getting stabbed would fucking blow dick.

• 2:13:20Speaker 03

  Suck.

• 2:13:21Joe Rogan?

  Good, not fun.

• 2:13:22Speaker 03

  You're right there with the guy too, at least a gunshot. Gunshot could be like, where did you even come from? Some distance, yeah. He's like, I know.

• 2:13:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's you, I hate you.

• 2:13:29Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:13:31Joe Rogan?

  Oof.

• 2:13:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, England. Yeah, anyway. You're better off.

• 2:13:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you're better off. I think it's good. It's divine intervention.

• 2:13:37Speaker 03

  Well, nothing's better off than Skanks.

• 2:13:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:13:39Speaker 03

  There you go. What was it, 15 years running? Yeah.

• 2:13:43Joe Rogan?

  This is perfect for you, Ari.

• 2:13:44Speaker 03

  It's, it's my show.

• 2:13:45Joe Rogan?

  England's not perfect for you.

• 2:13:46Speaker 03

  Vice President? Although it's weird seeing you tied down to something. Yeah, it is. I've never seen you commit.

• 2:13:52Joe Rogan?

  What you gotta do once a week?

• 2:13:53Speaker 03

  When Shane and I ran for President and Vice President, we'll get into another episode, but it was, the logline was until one of us betrays the other. Until one of us double crosses the other one.

• 2:14:03Speaker 05

  We didn't.

• 2:14:04Speaker 03

  We didn't, only because you found out Louis was gonna fuck with me and you double crossed him.

• 2:14:09Joe Rogan?

  Yes.

• 2:14:10Speaker 03

  Dude, that was nice.

• 2:14:10Joe Rogan?

  Of course.

• 2:14:11Speaker 03

  That was nice.

• 2:14:12Joe Rogan?

  I would never do, I'm not gonna let my president go down like that. I'm JD Vance, bro. I'm Vance.

• 2:14:16Speaker 03

  Underrated, something that happened in COVID is Shane, uh, we're like, we're making a...

• 2:14:22Speaker 05

  You guys were making the biggest mistake comedically.

• 2:14:26Speaker 03

  I was so mad. There was a video going around of, of all these stars singing some like Beatles song.

• 2:14:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh yeah, imagine there's no heaven.

• 2:14:34Speaker 03

  So Louis's idea was like, let's do something making fun of it, we'll all sing a song.

• 2:14:39Speaker 05

  Let's all sing Down With The Sickness and we'll make a video and I was like, oh, I'll, I'll edit it.

• 2:14:44Speaker 03

  So we just gotta sing a verse?

• 2:14:45Speaker 05

  But I need every single one of you to sing the full song.

• 2:14:48Speaker 03

  And I can choose...

• 2:14:49Speaker 05

  And then I'll pick and then I just have a full video of every single one of these dumbasses singing that song. And I was like, first off, the idea was not funny. That is gay. I will not be a part of that.

• 2:14:57Speaker 03

  I was doing it as a favor to Louis. I was like, if you think this is good. And then Shane, Shane called me goes, how, how bad will your retaliation be if I release your video? And I was like, dude.

• 2:15:09Speaker 05

  I didn't put anyone's videos out.

• 2:15:10Speaker 03

  I was like, bro, as a comedian, as a comedian, you should do it. I will scorch the earth to get back here.

• 2:15:17Joe Rogan?

  Send Aris to Jamie right now. I'll fight him. Do you have it categorized? Do you have it in a folder?

• 2:15:22Speaker 05

  And I kept trying to like, like it was hard to make sure they did it seriously. So I was like, no, like, don't fuck around. It would be funnier if you guys are like really singing as the best you can. You fucked around in yours.

• 2:15:35Speaker 03

  I did? Oh, thank God.

• 2:15:36Speaker 05

  But, I mean, it's still a horrific and embarrassing video.

• 2:15:40Joe Rogan?

  That whole thing was so weird. Imagine there's no heaven while Granny just died of COVID.

• 2:15:46Speaker 03

  And also it's like, this is, this is like, it's a war song.

• 2:15:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:15:50Speaker 03

  It's a war and religion song.

• 2:15:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was bad.

• 2:15:53Speaker 03

  What are we doing?

• 2:15:54Speaker 05

  Very, that was a very strange time where people just got into smelling their own farts.

• 2:15:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Well, the COVID hit and actors had no juice anymore. They were like, oh, we gotta stand out.

• 2:16:04Speaker 03

  Please don't. Oh, my God.

• 2:16:08Joe Rogan?

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• 2:16:53Joe Rogan?

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• 2:17:07Joe Rogan?

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• 2:17:50Joe Rogan?

  you gotta check out Tacovas in-store or online at tacovas.com. That's T-E-C-O-V-A-S dot com. And right now, get 10% off at tacovas.com/rogan when you sign up for email and text.

• 2:18:09Speaker 02

  I can't watch this. I'm throwing it up for you guys to see.

• 2:18:11Speaker 03

  Actors really made themselves worthless during all this.

• 2:18:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can't.

• 2:18:15Joe Rogan?

  Okay, we can't sing it. You get Sarah Silverman being all serious.

• 2:18:19Speaker 03

  She's like, "What stars are in this? I'll do it." Oh, she was being joking.

• 2:18:22Speaker 02

  I don't know who that is.

• 2:18:23Speaker 03

  Who is that? Timothy Chalamet?

• 2:18:25Joe Rogan?

  What's wrong with his teeth?

• 2:18:26Speaker 02

  Oh, Fallon.

• 2:18:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Fallon.

• 2:18:29Speaker 02

  Hey, Portman.

• 2:18:33Speaker 03

  You can kinda hear it.

• 2:18:34Speaker 02

  Oh, man. This is worse than being like on Epstein's island.

• 2:18:38Speaker 03

  Get an iPhone clamp.

• 2:18:39Joe Rogan?

  God, actors. They're so fucking weird.

• 2:18:43Speaker 02

  Well, they're not as important as they used to be, so they're like, "Oh, this'll be relevant."

• 2:18:46Speaker 03

  It was COVID. COVID, they were like, "I'm not getting attention, let's just do it ourselves." And you're like, "You guys can't do this."

• 2:18:51Speaker 02

  The worst was the black and white one, when they're like, "I am ashamed of my whiteness."

• 2:18:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:18:56Speaker 02

  That wasn't even a song, that was just them talking.

• 2:18:59Speaker 03

  The black and whiteness?

• 2:19:00Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. During the BLM riots.

• 2:19:03Speaker 05

  There's so many good ones.

• 2:19:04Speaker 03

  You do.

• 2:19:05Speaker 05

  It's so good. I got Doreen.

• 2:19:08Speaker 03

  I got Doreen going, "Ow."

• 2:19:10Speaker 02

  Send that to Jamie right now. Send that to Jamie right now. DeRosa will get sincere.

• 2:19:15Speaker 05

  DeRosa gets sincere, especially when he's drunk. Dude, you're such a good friend. I'm like, shut up, Kevin.

• 2:19:20Speaker 02

  You're adopted. Shut up.

• 2:19:21Speaker 05

  Shut up. I'm never friends with an adopted guy.

• 2:19:23Speaker 02

  You Egyptian weirdo.

• 2:19:24Speaker 05

  Everybody was like trying to be silly, but the bit sucked so bad. So bad. I was so happy when you guys were doing that. I was at Stanhope's when this was going on. Oh, my god.

• 2:19:32Speaker 02

  I'll even get the bit, dude.

• 2:19:33Speaker 05

  I was just drunk at Stanhope's. I'm like, you guys suck. You killed us. Me and Stanhope were hammered. You killed us. I was like, look how much these dudes suck.

• 2:19:44Speaker 05

  That shit blew, dude. I can't believe you guys did that. How much you got left in there?

• 2:19:48Joe Rogan?

  It's such a weird thing where people decide to do things to make themselves look like they care. Look like they care. That's the thing about Hollywood. They wanna look like they care. And it's so fucking transparent.

• 2:19:59Speaker 02

  That's always a bummer. You get that text like, hey, can you make a video for this? I'm like, ah, that's gonna ruin my whole day. Cause you like have to think about it and spend time on it.

• 2:20:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:20:07Speaker 02

  It's a nightmare.

• 2:20:08Joe Rogan?

  Change your number.

• 2:20:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, like, can you help me with this?

• 2:20:11Joe Rogan?

  You get one or two of those, change your number.

• 2:20:13Speaker 02

  There we go. Jojo Rabbit.

• 2:20:15Joe Rogan?

  Music, please.

• 2:20:16Speaker 05

  Music, please. Oh, it's gonna be cold.

• 2:20:20Speaker 02

  Woo, he's back, baby. Iba game.

• 2:20:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, Iba game.

• 2:20:25Speaker 02

  Iba game.

• 2:20:26Speaker 05

  F D M A, mushrooms. Yeah, congrats. Congrats on the Iba game, bro. That's sick. Dude, that is such a win. That is such a gigantic win.

• 2:20:34Joe Rogan?

  They're hoping to reschedule it.

• 2:20:35Speaker 05

  They're gonna reschedule the psychedelics and have them available to people.

• 2:20:38Joe Rogan?

  Woo. What's interesting is that all this was done during the Nixon administration to squash the civil rights movement. Civil rights movement and the anti-war movement.

• 2:20:46Speaker 05

  Black people don't even like mushrooms.

• 2:20:48Joe Rogan?

  And that was also one of the things that I got to say. It's one of the things that I got to say during the whole Trump thing.

• 2:20:53Speaker 05

  You said black people don't like mushrooms?

• 2:20:54Joe Rogan?

  I said, no, I didn't say that.

• 2:20:57Joe Rogan?

  Black people don't like mushrooms. I said they love certain foods, but you can't bring them up. I said, these things weren't made illegal. It was like, cause it was all live. They couldn't stop me from saying it. And Trump just let me talk. So I said, these aren't illegal because they're harmful. They're illegal because of the sweeping Controlled Substances Act of the 1970s and the Richard Nixon administration. To target the civil rights movement and the anti-war movement. That's why they made them illegal. They're not illegal because they're harmful. And the idea that they were Schedule One for all these years when so many people are using them to quit smoking, to quit drinking, to quit drugs, to get their life together, to like relax before they're dying, like so many people that are like filled with anxiety because they're dying of cancer. They take mushrooms and they're like, I think I'm gonna be okay.

• 2:21:42Speaker 02

  Can you get fucked up on Iba game?

• 2:21:44Joe Rogan?

  No, it's not recreational at all. It's a bad experience.

• 2:21:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not like a fun time.

• 2:21:50Joe Rogan?

  But it's it's neuroregenerative, like it it helps people that like Rick Perry, the the governor, he had some sort of like natural atrophy of his brain that happens when you get older. Within six weeks or so after doing it, twenty-five percent of the atrophy was gone. Six months later, one hundred percent of it was gone. It's nuts. It's it's very positive, but a bad feeling when you're doing it.

• 2:22:15Speaker 02

  Who is this?

• 2:22:17Joe Rogan?

  Rick Perry, the former governor of Texas, Republican governor, who is a staunch anti-drug guy his whole life. And then he talked to all these veterans that were using it to get off of whatever opiates that they were on.

• 2:22:29Speaker 03

  In secret, let me try it in secret?

• 2:22:31Joe Rogan?

  I don't know if it was let me try it in secret because he was open about talking about it and and he did it and he said it changed his life too. And he says, this is my life now. I'm dedicated to trying to make this stuff legal.

• 2:22:41Speaker 02

  So it's kind of like Ozempic. It makes you stop doing stuff.

• 2:22:45Joe Rogan?

  Well, Ozempic is weird because it does make you stop doing addictive things too.

• 2:22:49Speaker 03

  But it cuts down your sex drive too.

• 2:22:51Joe Rogan?

  It cuts down love. Like you don't get excited about stuff. People are saying it keeps you from being passionate about things.

• 2:22:57Speaker 02

  Cuts down love.

• 2:22:58Joe Rogan?

  It's just weird when you see, we were talking about that lady, some of these hot actresses that are doing it and they don't need to do it.

• 2:23:09Speaker 02

  That's a good radio team, Fat and Horny in the Morning.

• 2:23:11Joe Rogan?

  It's also, girls don't realize like a little bit of fat on them is hot.

• 2:23:18Joe Rogan?

  Ten pounds overweight is like when they think they're overweight, you're like, yeah.

• 2:23:22Speaker 03

  Especially if they're confident with it.

• 2:23:25Joe Rogan?

  Gives them curves. When you, when they lose all that weight and get that Ozempic face, it's like, what are you doing?

• 2:23:31Speaker 02

  Pull up Olivia Wilde. You see her? She looks like a ringed tail lemur.

• 2:23:34Joe Rogan?

  You got here.

• 2:23:37Speaker 02

  Pull up her in a lemur. It's dead, the eyes, it's dead on.

• 2:23:41Speaker 03

  Who's Olivia Wilde?

• 2:23:42Joe Rogan?

  She's a really beautiful actress.

• 2:23:44Speaker 03

  She used to be hot.

• 2:23:44Speaker 02

  Gorgeous, gorgeous.

• 2:23:46Speaker 05

  She's so hot.

• 2:23:47Speaker 02

  No, she was never fat!

• 2:23:48Joe Rogan?

  She wasn't fat at all, man, but she's been-

• 2:23:50Speaker 02

  Look how hot!

• 2:23:50Joe Rogan?

  Look how hot.

• 2:23:51Speaker 02

  Gorgeous.

• 2:23:51Joe Rogan?

  But now, look at the most recent video of her, yeah, look at that.

• 2:23:55Speaker 02

  Oh! Now, pull up a ringtail lemur if you can find one.

• 2:23:58Speaker 05

  I know exactly what a lemur looks like, bro.

• 2:24:00Speaker 02

  It's a cute little, little nugget. Look at that, same eyes! Same eyes!

• 2:24:07Speaker 03

  Wait, what happened to her? Did she just hit the wall?

• 2:24:09Joe Rogan?

  I don't know, there's no way she just hit the wall, she's, she's still fairly young.

• 2:24:13Speaker 03

  How old is she?

• 2:24:14Joe Rogan?

  And she was really hot, she was on some 42, she's still hot, dude.

• 2:24:18Speaker 03

  She was in House in 2007, she's old, and she's 20 years older than she was in House.

• 2:24:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but dude, recently, she looked really hot.

• 2:24:24Speaker 05

  Also, she's gorgeous.

• 2:24:26Speaker 02

  Gorgeous.

• 2:24:26Joe Rogan?

  No, it's, I don't think it's the wall, dude.

• 2:24:28Speaker 02

  Her real name's Cockburn, that's funny.

• 2:24:30Joe Rogan?

  Okay, but does anybody know if she's taking that stuff?

• 2:24:33Speaker 03

  No, I don't think so. That's not even Ozempic, that's the eyes, that's a different thing.

• 2:24:37Speaker 02

  Look at the giant eyeballs.

• 2:24:39Joe Rogan?

  She might be tired.

• 2:24:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't wanna besmirch the lady, she's still a princess. It's still a fucker, uh, clavicle.

• 2:24:47Joe Rogan?

  But I think it's, a little bit of it is just like, you just, women have this thing where they think they're supposed to be skinny.

• 2:24:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:24:54Speaker 03

  Oh, 42.

• 2:24:55Speaker 02

  Well, they are.

• 2:24:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but dude, 42, look at, look at fucking, what's her name, Jennifer Lopez.

• 2:25:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, look at outliers.

• 2:25:02Joe Rogan?

  She's hot as fuck.

• 2:25:03Speaker 02

  I mean, that's a Puerto Rican, though.

• 2:25:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, look at LeBron, but everybody else goes out at 38.

• 2:25:08Speaker 05

  Could you hit me one of those brewskis?

• 2:25:10Speaker 03

  Absolutely, buddy, what are you looking for?

• 2:25:12Speaker 05

  A bottle.

• 2:25:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, bottle rocket.

• 2:25:14Joe Rogan?

  It's just sad that so many of these women think that they have to be waist-high.

• 2:25:18Speaker 03

  Especially in Hollywood.

• 2:25:19Speaker 02

  Look at that gorgeous lady.

• 2:25:21Speaker 00

  I think it's just a bad picture, bad night, or something.

• 2:25:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:25:23Speaker 03

  That's this January?

• 2:25:25Speaker 05

  I thought that was a great picture.

• 2:25:26Joe Rogan?

  She's still beautiful, and she doesn't even look remotely overweight.

• 2:25:29Speaker 03

  Dude, Seth Rogen looks like a troll next to her.

• 2:25:31Speaker 00

  That's from two weeks ago.

• 2:25:33Speaker 02

  Two weeks, wow.

• 2:25:34Speaker 03

  No, that's just a bad picture.

• 2:25:35Speaker 05

  No, she's fine, that was, whatever.

• 2:25:36Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it might have been just bad video.

• 2:25:38Speaker 05

  Let's leave, let's leave her alone.

• 2:25:40Speaker 02

  She's a beautiful lady.

• 2:25:41Speaker 03

  Lady, I was wrong, you didn't hit the wall at all, she's still hot as shit.

• 2:25:44Speaker 05

  You know what I like is, uh, the big fat guys that need the Ozempic.

• 2:25:47Speaker 03

  Need it.

• 2:25:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:25:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:25:48Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 2:25:49Joe Rogan?

  My friend, he's on the fat pill!

• 2:25:51Speaker 05

  And some of them defeat it.

• 2:25:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know a guy. We know a guy. Foley, I didn't want to say his name.

• 2:25:55Speaker 05

  Foley plowed right through Ozempic. How did he do that?

• 2:25:58Speaker 02

  He keeps eating.

• 2:25:59Speaker 03

  He has habits. Dude, when we were doing the 999, he, he, we were three hot dogs in, we had nine hot dogs, nine beers and nine innings. And, by the way, pitch clock, so it's way harder than when it was invented.

• 2:26:10Speaker 05

  Although, we did get there early. We got there, O'Connor had seven hot dogs before the national anthem.

• 2:26:14Speaker 03

  O'Connor, O'Connor, O'Connor's like, what's your strategy?

• 2:26:18Speaker 02

  That's impressive.

• 2:26:18Speaker 03

  He's like, I'm gonna just chug these hot dogs, chug hot dogs, pass out till the sixth. Woke up and started chugging beer.

• 2:26:25Speaker 05

  We had to wake him up at the night to be like, dude, you're two away. You gotta get it.

• 2:26:27Speaker 03

  He got it.

• 2:26:28Speaker 05

  And he was like,

• 2:26:30Speaker 03

  I'm a champion.

• 2:26:31Speaker 02

  It's the bread, the salt gets ya.

• 2:26:33Speaker 05

  That's disgusting.

• 2:26:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, but H Foley, three hot dogs in, you look over, he's eating a cheesesteak.

• 2:26:39Speaker 05

  He's getting other grub. He's eating other food.

• 2:26:43Speaker 03

  And he goes, I'm an Ozempic guy, I don't think I'll win.

• 2:26:45Speaker 05

  Bro, I don't care how fucking, how full I am, if you put a cheesesteak in front of me, I'm eating that shit.

• 2:26:51Speaker 02

  It's like pussy.

• 2:26:52Joe Rogan?

  There's a new place in Austin, there's a food truck that Tony turned me on to, that has cheesesteaks, they're fucking.

• 2:26:58Speaker 03

  Just had one on my.

• 2:27:00Joe Rogan?

  What is that place, Jamie? Do you know the place? Do you know what it is, Jamie?

• 2:27:03Speaker 03

  Don't say it, we'll never get in again.

• 2:27:05Joe Rogan?

  What's that?

• 2:27:05Speaker 05

  No, not at all.

• 2:27:06Joe Rogan?

  I'll ask Tony.

• 2:27:07Speaker 03

  I think I saw it on, uh, on Seamless, I almost got it.

• 2:27:10Joe Rogan?

  It's Philly all day. It's so legit.

• 2:27:11Speaker 02

  Is it on Sixth Street? Cause the food sucks over there.

• 2:27:13Speaker 03

  Food sucks on Sixth.

• 2:27:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's a weird spot because it used to be the Dirty Six, it was all just like drunk people food.

• 2:27:21Speaker 03

  It's still.

• 2:27:21Joe Rogan?

  They didn't have to be good.

• 2:27:22Speaker 05

  It's getting worse, dude.

• 2:27:24Joe Rogan?

  But.

• 2:27:24Speaker 03

  You got Black Rabbit, that's it.

• 2:27:26Joe Rogan?

  But there's a Fogo de Chao a block away.

• 2:27:28Speaker 03

  I think it might be R and B's.

• 2:27:29Joe Rogan?

  There's a Fogo de Chao a block away from the club.

• 2:27:31Speaker 03

  Where?

• 2:27:31Joe Rogan?

  It's, it's down the street.

• 2:27:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's R and B's.

• 2:27:34Joe Rogan?

  It's on like Second or Third.

• 2:27:37Speaker 02

  I've never seen it.

• 2:27:38Speaker 03

  What is it?

• 2:27:38Joe Rogan?

  Fogo? It's on Congress. So it's two blocks away.

• 2:27:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's not Dirty Six, it's way off.

• 2:27:43Joe Rogan?

  Right, right, but it, but it's, it's not far, R and B's.

• 2:27:45Speaker 03

  Right, right, it's still downtown, I get what you're saying, it's still downtown.

• 2:27:47Joe Rogan?

  These are the guys, these are the guys.

• 2:27:49Speaker 02

  I'm going there tonight.

• 2:27:50Joe Rogan?

  So, uh, what is it? What's the name of it? R and B's Steak and Fries. R and B's Steak and Fries, bro, I'm telling you, their fucking cheese steaks are so legit.

• 2:27:59Speaker 03

  Let's meet the brothers.

• 2:27:59Joe Rogan?

  These guys brought them to the, the club and I was like, and Tony's like, dude, you gotta try this. I was like, I'm not, I'm not really hungry, but let me, I start one bite and I scarfed it. I scarfed it.

• 2:28:10Speaker 03

  Ooh, they got that fucking sauteed onions.

• 2:28:12Joe Rogan?

  Oh, it's so good, dude. It's so good. They're, these guys are so, and they're cool dudes. Very, very, very legit.

• 2:28:19Speaker 03

  Wait, go back up, I wanna see his nickname?

• 2:28:20Joe Rogan?

  Boo.

• 2:28:21Speaker 03

  Boo. Boo.

• 2:28:22Joe Rogan?

  Black guys rule. Boo Radley.

• 2:28:28Speaker 05

  Man, it's almost time for Jeremiah Love highlights.

• 2:28:30Joe Rogan?

  Easy.

• 2:28:31Speaker 05

  It's almost time, dude.

• 2:28:32Joe Rogan?

  Jeremiah Love?

• 2:28:33Speaker 05

  Oh, yes.

• 2:28:34Speaker 03

  Who that is?

• 2:28:35Speaker 05

  I love that you're asking, bro.

• 2:28:37Joe Rogan?

  What are we talking about here?

• 2:28:38Speaker 03

  Is that politics?

• 2:28:39Joe Rogan?

  No, no. Football. It sounds like football. Jeremiah Love sounds like a football player.

• 2:28:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:28:44Speaker 05

  He certainly is.

• 2:28:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:28:46Speaker 05

  If he was a fighter, he'd probably quit in the third round.

• 2:28:48Joe Rogan?

  I don't know if he- Like a guy with that name?

• 2:28:50Speaker 05

  If he had autism, or I think he does, he's got at least OCD, but they, they did a nice docu, like a, before the game, they always, like, college game day always runs, like, a, a heartwarming story, but he had, like, autism as a kid and they were like, we don't know what to do, and then we got him in football and he was just a fucking animal.

• 2:29:08Joe Rogan?

  Oh, wow. That's the thing with autism.

• 2:29:12Speaker 05

  He's so fast.

• 2:29:12Joe Rogan?

  Wow, look at him go. Wow.

• 2:29:14Speaker 05

  He's looking, looking at his own sideline.

• 2:29:16Joe Rogan?

  Dude, autism is a superpower. Well, you just gotta channel it. Yeah, you're gonna like this one. Tell me about it.

• 2:29:20Speaker 05

  Look, you're gonna like this one.

• 2:29:21Joe Rogan?

  Norman, you gotta talk, speak on it. You gotta find a piano or comedy. I can speak about Neanderthal genes, you can speak about autism.

• 2:29:28Speaker 03

  These guys are tackling wrong.

• 2:29:30Joe Rogan?

  Look at him go, dude. Wow. Matt trying to catch a guy that runs that fast.

• 2:29:33Speaker 05

  When do you see him jumping over people?

• 2:29:35Speaker 03

  These guys are tackling wrong.

• 2:29:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god. He's like the correspondent shooter. Hey, Jamie, who is that guy that they just signed from Africa? He's a 21-year-old guy who's never played football before? What?

• 2:29:44Speaker 03

  Philly dude.

• 2:29:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:29:46Speaker 05

  He's with the Eagles.

• 2:29:46Speaker 03

  Football, football does that where you're like, as long as you got, as long as you got the skills, we got you.

• 2:29:51Joe Rogan?

  That was a nice juke.

• 2:29:52Speaker 05

  Just keep this rolling for a second.

• 2:29:53Joe Rogan?

  Whoa, look at that move. What a wiggle. Oh, my goodness.

• 2:29:56Speaker 03

  All they gotta do to tackle him is look him directly in the eyes.

• 2:29:58Joe Rogan?

  Go. Why?

• 2:30:00Speaker 03

  Cause autism hates that shit. Don't you ever, shut the fuck up.

• 2:30:03Joe Rogan?

  Really? Is that real?

• 2:30:04Speaker 03

  You're looking at autistic guy in the eyes, like, please stop.

• 2:30:06Joe Rogan?

  He won't look at you back, though. They hate hugs.

• 2:30:08Speaker 05

  It's not gonna work if he doesn't look at you back.

• 2:30:09Joe Rogan?

  He's just dodging hugs. Do you hate hugs?

• 2:30:11Speaker 05

  He's dodging hugs.

• 2:30:12Joe Rogan?

  Hate a hug.

• 2:30:13Speaker 05

  Bro, he- Ah, get away from me! No, Joe! Get him, get him, get him! Take him down! Oh no, oh, waiting the lifts, he got tongue in there for the listeners. That's assault, brother!

• 2:30:27Speaker 05

  You should sue Joe! I might sue you! Sue Joe!

• 2:30:30Joe Rogan?

  His whole body was vibrating when I was hugging him.

• 2:30:34Speaker 05

  I mean- That's awesome. Oh, man. How sick is Jeremiah Law?

• 2:30:37Joe Rogan?

  Too much touching. Bro, I love a great athlete.

• 2:30:39Speaker 05

  Show him, show Joe him jumping over some people.

• 2:30:41Joe Rogan?

  Hey, what are you boys doing next weekend? Uh, I think I got a gig. What do you got?

• 2:30:45Speaker 05

  I gotta go to- Next week is a roast.

• 2:30:46Joe Rogan?

  Next Saturday, next Saturday. Oh yeah, at Netflix Fest.

• 2:30:50Speaker 05

  I gotta do TD Garden. In Boston.

• 2:30:52Joe Rogan?

  Whoa!

• 2:30:52Speaker 05

  What are you doing?

• 2:30:53Joe Rogan?

  UFC, UFC in New Jersey. Shawn Strickland, Hamzat Chimaev.

• 2:30:58Speaker 05

  Oh, Hamzat's bad.

• 2:30:58Joe Rogan?

  Woo! Bro, they, they're not even gonna have a face-off. They're worried about putting them close to each other, because Shawn has talked so much shit. He's a wild dude. He's a wild dude, and that shit-talking that he does? It's emotional warfare. Because like, you'll think about the shit, he calls him a goat fucker. He's like, he won't stop talking shit. He has no filter. Shawn Strickland said that- He said if those three goat fu- He comes up to me with three of his Chechen goat fucker friends-

• 2:31:27Speaker 05

  Hamzat's like, you didn't see those goats?

• 2:31:29Joe Rogan?

  He says, Shawn was like, "I'll shoot them, I'll pull out my gun, I'll shoot all three of them," and he's going like this, boom, boom, boom. Jesus. He's talking so much shit, but it's emotional warfare. It's like what Connor used to do, what Connor did with Jose Aldo. He had him so fucked up before that fight. Yeah. And he was just like, so emo- because Aldo was a legend! Nobody talks shit about him, everybody was terrified of him. And Connor was just constantly talking shit about him. It works. Stole his belt at a press conference and like, was holding it up. And by the time the fight happened, Aldo was just so worked up, and Connor was just like, super relaxed and smiling. That's how Roberto Duran beat Robinson. Because he called his wife a whore a bunch. Who's Robinson? Sugar Ray. No, Leonard.

• 2:32:13Joe Rogan?

  Leonard, sorry, wrong Sugar. How dare you. Sugar Ray the Band. He talked Sugar Ray into fighting his kind of fight.

• 2:32:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:32:20Joe Rogan?

  And he li- like, literally-

• 2:32:21Speaker 05

  Do you think, do you think Strickland can do that?

• 2:32:23Joe Rogan?

  No. Strickland is a. He's good, but he's. No, no, no, no. Strickland is one of the best fighters on planet earth. But so's the other guy. So is Hamzat, but Strickland is also a legitimate world champion. He's a guy who's accustomed to five rounders. He's got phenomenal cardio. He's one of the hardest guys to hit in the sport.

• 2:32:41Speaker 03

  If it can, can he wrestle?

• 2:32:44Joe Rogan?

  100% he has a shot. Underrated grappling. Not like the other guy. Listen to me as an expert, allegedly. He's one of the best takedown. He's got some of the best takedown defense in the game. Underrated grappling. Strickland has a legit chance.

• 2:32:56Speaker 03

  Can I, can I just say this? As someone who's heard you talk about this kind of stuff for many, many years, you give it up more for the person you think is not going to win.

• 2:33:06Joe Rogan?

  Oh.

• 2:33:08Speaker 03

  Cause you didn't say shit about Hamzat in this. You just said Strickland has a chance.

• 2:33:11Joe Rogan?

  I will tell you a lot about Hamzat.

• 2:33:13Speaker 03

  It's Hamzat, there's a fuck. So you go, but don't count out the underdog.

• 2:33:17Joe Rogan?

  No, I'll say that eventually if you give me a chance, you fucking blabber mouth.

• 2:33:20Speaker 03

  You stop talking.

• 2:33:20Joe Rogan?

  Jesus.

• 2:33:21Speaker 03

  You stop, you already made your point.

• 2:33:24Joe Rogan?

  Jesus. Hamzat 100% can win. He look, he dominated Drikus Duplessis like he didn't even belong in there with him. Exactly. And Drikus was the world champion and Drikus had beaten Sean Strickland. But the last time he beat Strickland in the second fight, Strickland, they made him fight. He had a shoulder injury, like Strickland's a wild boy and he crashed his dirt bike and fucked his shoulder up. White trash. They, oh, he's an, Strickland's an animal and they allowed him, I mean, they forced him, I should say, to fight.

• 2:33:53Speaker 03

  Plus 340, damn.

• 2:33:54Joe Rogan?

  Uh, listen, man, I'm telling you, he can win. Not only did he beat Adesanya, but the guy does not get tired. Strickland has some of the best fucking cardio in the sport. He's one of the hardest guys to hit. He's very clever with his boxing. He's got one of the best jabs in the sport. Strickland can win this fight. Alright. It's not saying he's going to win. Hamzat is the best grappler at 185, period. If he gets him on the ground, it could be over. And Hamzat can fucking strike too. It's not just a grappler. He's an animal.

• 2:34:22Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, that's what I mean with the shit talk. He's, uh, maybe he's trying to talk him into standing.

• 2:34:25Joe Rogan?

  Right. Or talk him into a war or talk him into hitting the gas full clip, trying to take. Al Jermain Sterling. Al Jermain Sterling. Sterling did a video about this and Al Jemaine said, here's the thing, if Hamzat tries to just run him over, tries to just take him down, run him over, submit him and can't do it, then it's a problem because then he gases himself out in the first round. This is a five round fight. Strickland is notoriously durable, notoriously in incredible shape, and he's calm. He knows how to fight in wars. Like he's, he's like accustomed to that. You know, he had a very abusive childhood. He doesn't like bullies. Like Strickland's, is a tough nut dude.

• 2:35:06Speaker 02

  Oh yeah.

• 2:35:06Joe Rogan?

  In my mind, this is like, I would get Hamzat. Now you're firing me up. Yeah, dude, this is a great fight dude.

• 2:35:12Speaker 02

  Have you heard his trans rant?

• 2:35:13Joe Rogan?

  This is one, Strickland is the best at fucking just talking wild shit at press conferences.

• 2:35:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:35:20Joe Rogan?

  He's a wild fellow. He was on the podcast too. He's fun, man. He's fun. He gets so angry and worked up about shit, but he's fucking fun.

• 2:35:28Speaker 03

  You know what's fun? Like now, back, fun whites.

• 2:35:32Speaker 02

  Fun whites are coming back.

• 2:35:33Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he's one of the funnest whites ever.

• 2:35:35Speaker 02

  I blame Chet Hanks. He brought it, he broke it open.

• 2:35:37Joe Rogan?

  Chet Hanks!

• 2:35:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, white boy summer.

• 2:35:40Joe Rogan?

  Cracked open the whites. He's got a new accent?

• 2:35:42Speaker 02

  He broke the hymen.

• 2:35:43Joe Rogan?

  What's his new one?

• 2:35:44Speaker 03

  I don't know. He dropped his old one. He was like, I'm done with that fakeness. I got a new fakeness.

• 2:35:47Joe Rogan?

  Can you imagine if Tom Hanks was your dad?

• 2:35:49Speaker 02

  That's wild.

• 2:35:50Joe Rogan?

  You gotta live in that shadow?

• 2:35:52Speaker 02

  Colin and Chet, they couldn't be more opposite.

• 2:35:54Joe Rogan?

  Who's Colin?

• 2:35:55Speaker 02

  Colin's his other son. You've seen, he's in a ton of movies.

• 2:35:57Speaker 03

  Colin's less of a phony.

• 2:35:58Speaker 02

  Well, he's more straight laced.

• 2:36:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:36:01Speaker 02

  Uh, Shy LaBoof, he's getting drunk, going to jail, coming back out.

• 2:36:05Joe Rogan?

  Is Shy LaBoof's dad famous?

• 2:36:07Speaker 02

  No, I'm just saying like wild whites.

• 2:36:09Joe Rogan?

  Colin looks just like Tom.

• 2:36:11Speaker 02

  He's crazy. He's in a ton of movies.

• 2:36:13Joe Rogan?

  God, he looks just like Tom. That's crazy. He can be Forrest Gump too.

• 2:36:16Speaker 02

  Good actor.

• 2:36:17Joe Rogan?

  He looks more Forrest Gump-y than Forrest Gump.

• 2:36:19Speaker 03

  He looks more Philadelphia.

• 2:36:20Joe Rogan?

  What is this? What do you, Chet is singing? Oh, he's singing now?

• 2:36:23Speaker 00

  He's doing country music.

• 2:36:24Joe Rogan?

  Oh boy.

• 2:36:25Speaker 02

  Oh God, he can't stop.

• 2:36:26Joe Rogan?

  I thought he was a rapper.

• 2:36:27Speaker 00

  He was, but country's big now.

• 2:36:29Joe Rogan?

  He's just swinging in every fucking bitch.

• 2:36:30Speaker 03

  He just goes wherever's popular.

• 2:36:32Speaker 02

  Red Sox man.

• 2:36:33Joe Rogan?

  He doesn't suck dude.

• 2:36:34Speaker 03

  That guy sucks.

• 2:36:35Joe Rogan?

  He's kinda jacked. That guy sucks.

• 2:36:37Speaker 02

  What? He's great!

• 2:36:38Joe Rogan?

  Chet Hanks can make an accent's rules. Ari, could you imagine what it's like having Tom Hanks as a dad and trying to find your own identity?

• 2:36:45Speaker 03

  I'm sure it's tough if your father was a molester, but doesn't matter. It's just molestation.

• 2:36:50Speaker 02

  Come on, you're talking about fucking Forrest Gump.

• 2:36:52Speaker 05

  JMo's getting the timestamp.

• 2:36:54Speaker 03

  How dare you.

• 2:36:56Speaker 02

  Talk about Woody here.

• 2:36:57Speaker 03

  Tom Hanks, Chet Hanks blows.

• 2:37:00Speaker 05

  JMo just goes.

• 2:37:02Speaker 03

  He was, he was, he was good in Atlanta, and that's about it.

• 2:37:06Speaker 02

  Atlanta? Atlanta? Philadelphia?

• 2:37:08Speaker 03

  An episode of Atlanta, he was good.

• 2:37:09Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 2:37:10Speaker 05

  Oh, which, which one?

• 2:37:12Speaker 02

  Oh, Chet, Chet.

• 2:37:13Speaker 05

  Chet rules. He was also great in, uh, Curb.

• 2:37:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:37:16Speaker 05

  Played the soldier.

• 2:37:17Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 2:37:18Speaker 03

  I didn't see that one.

• 2:37:19Speaker 02

  You wanna talk great athletes, what about the, uh, amputee cornhole guy?

• 2:37:23Speaker 03

  What?

• 2:37:24Speaker 05

  What?

• 2:37:24Speaker 02

  Where'd that come from?

• 2:37:25Speaker 02

  What? You haven't seen this guy? How the, what kind of a fucking transition was that?

• 2:37:30Speaker 00

  I never was going with it.

• 2:37:31Speaker 02

  We're talking about athletes.

• 2:37:32Speaker 00

  The guy got in trouble for shooting someone.

• 2:37:34Speaker 02

  He's got no arms, no legs.

• 2:37:36Speaker 05

  He shot one in the window?

• 2:37:37Speaker 02

  And he shot a guy. Did he really shoot somebody? With a nub.

• 2:37:41Speaker 05

  Wait, 100% he shot him?

• 2:37:42Speaker 02

  Pull it up.

• 2:37:43Speaker 03

  What's cornhole? I thought he was playing cornhole.

• 2:37:44Speaker 05

  So what does he have to do? Does he have to attach like a stick to the nub so he can pull the trigger?

• 2:37:47Speaker 02

  He's got a little tiny thumb right on the stump. And he get triggered? Pulled a trigger and killed a guy.

• 2:37:53Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 2:37:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. Why did he kill the guy? I think he fucked his stump, I don't know, what happened?

• 2:37:58Speaker 00

  Actually, I remember reading this story.

• 2:37:59Speaker 03

  You son of a bitch.

• 2:38:00Speaker 00

  He was driving the car too, there was three other guys in the car and he's the one driving it.

• 2:38:04Speaker 02

  What an alpha.

• 2:38:05Speaker 03

  Stump drove the car?

• 2:38:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:38:06Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 2:38:06Speaker 02

  This guy's a badass.

• 2:38:07Speaker 03

  Was it down a straight road?

• 2:38:08Speaker 02

  And he was a professional cornhole player? He was number one cornhole.

• 2:38:11Speaker 03

  No way.

• 2:38:12Speaker 05

  What, was he the bag?

• 2:38:13Speaker 00

  Here's a video of him shooting a gun. There's a video of him climbing a ladder.

• 2:38:16Speaker 02

  Climbing a ladder!

• 2:38:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'll show you that after this.

• 2:38:18Speaker 02

  He's getting passed around in prison like a cornhole bag. Wanted suspicion of shooting and killing a pastor in his car during an argument. Look at this badass. Oh, he can shoot guns.

• 2:38:27Speaker 03

  He can shoot well.

• 2:38:28Speaker 02

  You gotta hand it to him. Well, maybe if you have...

• 2:38:32Speaker 05

  You got that leg to stand on there, Mark.

• 2:38:33Speaker 02

  Less limbs, less movement.

• 2:38:35Speaker 03

  Less limbs, it's not this and this, it's just this.

• 2:38:37Speaker 02

  Alright, it's more stable. I went out on a limb. Oh, you son of a bitch. This is cornhole strategy. He's unbelievable.

• 2:38:44Speaker 00

  He's really good.

• 2:38:45Speaker 02

  Look at this, he's just sinking him.

• 2:38:47Speaker 03

  Bag!

• 2:38:47Speaker 02

  Bam!

• 2:38:48Speaker 03

  Bags!

• 2:38:50Speaker 02

  And now he's in jail. Poor guy. He could have been a hero of our generation.

• 2:38:54Joe Rogan?

  Um, so did he kill the guy for a reason?

• 2:38:58Speaker 02

  I'm sure.

• 2:39:00Joe Rogan?

  Lost his limbs, bacterial infection at 10 years old, demonstrating shooting. So what is the story?

• 2:39:05Speaker 00

  There's an argument in the car.

• 2:39:06Joe Rogan?

  Accused of shooting a guy during a driving argument.

• 2:39:09Speaker 00

  He wanted the two guys in the car to help him get rid of the body. They refused and then he dropped them out of the car, went and dropped the body somewhere. Someone found the body and then they came after him.

• 2:39:20Speaker 05

  Shit, that'd be tough to dig a hole.

• 2:39:21Joe Rogan?

  Bro, the way Ari leaves.

• 2:39:22Speaker 00

  I don't think he died, I don't think he died.

• 2:39:25Joe Rogan?

  Ari leaves like a ghost in the night.

• 2:39:27Speaker 02

  Well, he's old. They gotta piss every 10 minutes.

• 2:39:29Joe Rogan?

  I'm older than him.

• 2:39:29Speaker 02

  Well, he drinks prune juice. Goes right through ya.

• 2:39:35Joe Rogan?

  So, uh, so it was an argument? He just shot the guy? You'd think it would take so long for him to pull out the gun, you would just smack it out of his stub.

• 2:39:43Speaker 02

  You'd think, but I think when that guy comes up to you, you're like, what are you gonna do? You're not scared, so the guy's got all the time in the world.

• 2:39:49Joe Rogan?

  I'd be so scared if I saw that guy.

• 2:39:51Speaker 00

  He can climb a hunting blind with a rifle on his back.

• 2:39:53Speaker 02

  Look at this psycho. God, he's like a slug.

• 2:39:57Speaker 00

  He's very capable.

• 2:39:58Speaker 05

  He looks like Toe Jam.

• 2:39:59Speaker 02

  He looks like Toe Jam.

• 2:40:01Speaker 05

  Toe Jam and Earl.

• 2:40:02Speaker 02

  What a pull. Wow, I mean, you gotta hand to the guy for just being independent.

• 2:40:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:40:07Speaker 05

  I mean, we're being mean to him. I wanna make sure he's a murderer before I make fun of him for being a...

• 2:40:10Joe Rogan?

  Maybe the guy in the backseat was a real...

• 2:40:12Speaker 05

  Disabled.

• 2:40:12Speaker 02

  He's definitely a murderer. He's in jail.

• 2:40:15Joe Rogan?

  He's in jail right now?

• 2:40:17Speaker 02

  You better believe it.

• 2:40:18Joe Rogan?

  Huh, found in a nearby yard.

• 2:40:21Speaker 02

  That's who you wanted as your bunkmate. He's not raping.

• 2:40:22Joe Rogan?

  Pronounced dead at the scene. He was tracked to Virginia Hospital and arrested, set to be... He was in a hospital? Why was he in a hospital?

• 2:40:28Speaker 05

  Maryland.

• 2:40:30Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 2:40:31Joe Rogan?

  Did they get in a fight?

• 2:40:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, witnesses said they got into a fight.

• 2:40:33Speaker 05

  So rarely in the news.

• 2:40:34Joe Rogan?

  So the guy punched him and he had to go to the hospital? So he was, he was tracked to a hospital? So the guy who he shot, was the guy punching him?

• 2:40:42Speaker 03

  Sounds about right. I mean, if you're punching a guy with no arms and no legs, he's gotta do something to fight back.

• 2:40:48Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 2:40:49Speaker 03

  Shoot ya.

• 2:40:49Joe Rogan?

  But that's what's weird. It's like, it says the-

• 2:40:52Speaker 03

  He looks so happy.

• 2:40:52Joe Rogan?

  But it said, if it says he went to a hospital, like, why did he have to go to a hospital? Mad ride.

• 2:40:58Speaker 05

  Mad rifle.

• 2:40:59Joe Rogan?

  That's what they say. Riding high in April.

• 2:41:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, it says Officer Shrek in the hospital, that's all it says.

• 2:41:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but why was he in the hospital? So, did they get in a fistfight and he pulled the gun-

• 2:41:09Speaker 05

  They probably found him and they were like, holy shit.

• 2:41:11Speaker 03

  Let's get him to a hospital.

• 2:41:13Speaker 05

  He's probably fine. They were like, holy shit, take him to New York.

• 2:41:16Joe Rogan?

  But it's a weird situation. If he was at a hospital, like, why was he at a hospital?

• 2:41:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:41:22Joe Rogan?

  We don't know the whole story.

• 2:41:23Speaker 03

  I don't know. Anyway, he can-

• 2:41:25Speaker 00

  This is the part I read. He pulls over the car-

• 2:41:27Speaker 03

  He plays a mean cornhole.

• 2:41:27Speaker 00

  Asked him to pull the car out of the, or to pull the body out of the car. They said no. They got out of the car instead and he drove off with the body still in the car.

• 2:41:35Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy.

• 2:41:36Speaker 03

  How's he gonna get him out of the car? He's got no arms.

• 2:41:38Speaker 05

  Damn, is that Bieber in the middle?

• 2:41:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:41:40Speaker 05

  Oh, I thought it was the same crime. I was like, wait.

• 2:41:43Joe Rogan?

  Celebrity. What did Bieber get arrested for?

• 2:41:45Speaker 03

  By the way, go back up. Look how dashing Bieber is in his mug shot.

• 2:41:48Joe Rogan?

  Did Bieber get arrested for looking cute?

• 2:41:50Speaker 03

  Perfectly straight teeth.

• 2:41:51Speaker 00

  Who knows?

• 2:41:51Speaker 03

  Lohan's not bad either. Lohan's not bad there.

• 2:41:54Joe Rogan?

  Lohan rules, dude. Lohan's hot again.

• 2:41:56Speaker 03

  I co-starred in a movie with her.

• 2:41:57Joe Rogan?

  She's back.

• 2:41:58Speaker 03

  Oh, good. Lohan and fruit.

• 2:41:59Joe Rogan?

  You co-starred in a movie with Lohan?

• 2:42:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, worst movie of all time.

• 2:42:02Joe Rogan?

  What was that?

• 2:42:03Speaker 03

  Inappropriate comedy. Start, directed by the Shamwell guy.

• 2:42:07Joe Rogan?

  Lohan was in that?

• 2:42:08Speaker 03

  You're in that? Lohan, we had an Academy Award winner, Adrian Brody. What?

• 2:42:13Joe Rogan?

  What? Adrian Brody was in that?

• 2:42:15Speaker 03

  Crazy, the pianist. Uh, who's the chick who got drunk driving who was in the Avatar? Boom, that one at the end, Rodriguez. Oh, I didn't know she got a DUI.

• 2:42:22Joe Rogan?

  Rob Schneider's in that?

• 2:42:24Speaker 03

  Oh, but everybody. Who's the middle lady with the judge?

• 2:42:27Joe Rogan?

  Is that really the worst movie ever?

• 2:42:28Speaker 03

  It's on, it was on Rotten Tomatoes. It was the worst movie of all time. And for a while, it had zero- How did Adrian Brody get roped into that?

• 2:42:36Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, what happened to him? Did he get roped into that?

• 2:42:38Speaker 03

  He's a- He was on a downturn of his career. He came back. He was on a downswing. You know what's crazy about Brody? He's banging Harvey's wife. Am I in there? Oh, you know who else is in there? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Uh, uh, Theo Von. Oh, alright.

• 2:42:51Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:42:52Speaker 03

  Ari Shaffir, there we go. Oh, the amazing racist. With some writing by, uh, Christina Pizitzky did some writing on this. Okay. How about that?

• 2:43:01Joe Rogan?

  Dante as the racist assistant? Rob Schneider is JD?

• 2:43:04Speaker 03

  That's when I was offering black people a free trip back to Africa.

• 2:43:10Joe Rogan?

  You really did it, man.

• 2:43:11Speaker 02

  You really went for it back then.

• 2:43:13Joe Rogan?

  So when you got the script, did you realize it was gonna be that bad?

• 2:43:16Speaker 03

  There was no script. Vince came to me and was like, "Hey, those Amazing Races you did, can we make more of those?" And I'm like, "I don't own them." Then he goes, "Can we make new ones?" And I was like, "Yeah, if you want to."

• 2:43:25Speaker 02

  Hey, it earned 172K.

• 2:43:30Joe Rogan?

  Six hundred and twenty-five dollars, it's opening theater.

• 2:43:35Speaker 03

  There were all these pictures of one person in the theater.

• 2:43:39Joe Rogan?

  I like how it says inappropriate, but for some reason, A P P was... It was about apps.

• 2:43:44Speaker 03

  Dude, it was all about apps. It's a whole backstory line. None of it made any sense.

• 2:43:48Speaker 02

  Like dating apps?

• 2:43:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:43:50Joe Rogan?

  But what year was this?

• 2:43:51Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 2:43:52Speaker 03

  It's a good question.

• 2:43:52Joe Rogan?

  2013. I remember, I saw it in theaters by myself.

• 2:43:56Speaker 03

  It was the beginning of apps, it was a big deal.

• 2:43:58Speaker 02

  Add it to the 625.

• 2:44:00Joe Rogan?

  Dude, this movie was so fun.

• 2:44:01Speaker 02

  I've never heard of this in my life.

• 2:44:03Speaker 03

  We went to the border and I was doing a setup scene and some people were fucking running and crossing.

• 2:44:08Joe Rogan?

  But it's so crazy, like Adrian Broder is a fucking legit actor.

• 2:44:11Speaker 03

  He was down and then back up. They gave him money.

• 2:44:15Joe Rogan?

  But why did he go down? Do a movie with you?

• 2:44:18Speaker 03

  Well, he was in a separate scene. He was in Flirty Harry.

• 2:44:22Joe Rogan?

  Flirty Harry?

• 2:44:23Speaker 02

  Flirty Harry.

• 2:44:24Joe Rogan?

  Flirty Harry. So, but why did...

• 2:44:26Speaker 02

  What the fuck is going on?

• 2:44:28Joe Rogan?

  The Shamwow guy!

• 2:44:29Speaker 02

  He went to jail too.

• 2:44:30Joe Rogan?

  Look at Theo! Oh my god, look at Ari.

• 2:44:35Speaker 02

  Wow, young Theo.

• 2:44:36Joe Rogan?

  Bro, we should have a screening of this on the next Protect Our Parks.

• 2:44:39Speaker 02

  I would love to see this.

• 2:44:41Joe Rogan?

  Let's watch it and talk. Bro, this looks so bad.

• 2:44:44Speaker 02

  This is horrible.

• 2:44:46Joe Rogan?

  It's so bad. Who's the girl? The girl with the brunette right there?

• 2:44:49Speaker 02

  Rodriguez.

• 2:44:49Joe Rogan?

  Oh, the girl from Aliens? Isn't she in Aliens 2?

• 2:44:54Speaker 02

  Nah, I don't know, maybe.

• 2:44:55Joe Rogan?

  See if she's in Aliens.

• 2:44:56Speaker 02

  She's Vin Diesel's lady.

• 2:44:58Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy, they got her in this?

• 2:45:00Speaker 02

  Ah, Kids in Cages.

• 2:45:01Speaker 03

  Getting arrested, that's me.

• 2:45:03Joe Rogan?

  How does this Shamwow guy talk everybody into this?

• 2:45:06Speaker 03

  Money, bro. GS gave me advice. He was like, hey, they want me to do this thing. He was, Ari, every once in a while, so people in Hollywood.

• 2:45:13Joe Rogan?

  Ah, there it is.

• 2:45:15Speaker 03

  Shane, you can't laugh at this.

• 2:45:16Joe Rogan?

  Young Ari.

• 2:45:18Speaker 03

  Shane, sit this one out. Uh, we'll take it from here.

• 2:45:21Joe Rogan?

  I will say, so like, you guys were making dog shit like this.

• 2:45:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:45:25Joe Rogan?

  And then I was like, cause I wasn't really around for that.

• 2:45:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:45:28Joe Rogan?

  And then it's like, man, I can't believe cancel culture exists. It's like, oh, now I get it.

• 2:45:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:45:34Speaker 05

  Put an end to this horse shit.

• 2:45:37Joe Rogan?

  So bad. 2013. That shit stinks. Fire everybody. 2013.

• 2:45:47Speaker 03

  Yeah. Those Amazing Racist videos were probably like 2005, 6, 7.

• 2:45:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, 5, I think. Cause it was before, I think those videos were before the whole Mencia thing at the store.

• 2:45:58Speaker 03

  That's right, because he was like, why, who are you to say anything about racial jokes? Somebody like, Amazing Racist?

• 2:46:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:46:04Speaker 03

  Good point, good point.

• 2:46:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Wow, that's crazy they got Adrian Brody, because he's probably paid money to try to get that released, like deleted. I've never heard of it.

• 2:46:16Speaker 03

  No one even knows about it.

• 2:46:17Joe Rogan?

  They do now.

• 2:46:17Speaker 03

  They do now, that's right. You have a pretty decent sized platform.

• 2:46:19Joe Rogan?

  Millions of people are currently listening.

• 2:46:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, you guys are actually gonna make a fucking ton of money on that movie.

• 2:46:25Joe Rogan?

  Shamwow guy, is he alive?

• 2:46:27Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:46:27Joe Rogan?

  He did Kill Tony recently.

• 2:46:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think he got, remember he got caught biting that hook, no, the hooker was biting his tongue and he had to like, get off my fucking tongue. And he was like, like, he did something. I was like, stop biting my tongue.

• 2:46:39Joe Rogan?

  That's not so bad. What was he doing with his tongue? She bit it.

• 2:46:42Speaker 03

  He was Frenching her.

• 2:46:43Joe Rogan?

  Why do you have your tongue involved in a hooker at all?

• 2:46:44Speaker 03

  Frenching her.

• 2:46:45Joe Rogan?

  What's happening? Yeah, you don't kiss a hooker. Well, you do if you're drunk.

• 2:46:47Speaker 03

  Passionately.

• 2:46:48Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:46:49Speaker 05

  Sometimes you pay for just kisses.

• 2:46:50Joe Rogan?

  Let's go. I wish you were my girlfriend.

• 2:46:53Speaker 03

  We knew a guy, we knew a guy at the Comedy Store who would pay extra, I'm not gonna say who, but, but, uh, who would pay extra to fuck, uh, to go down on hookers, um, without, uh,

• 2:47:05Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 2:47:05Speaker 03

  Yes, to go down on hookers. You don't know him.

• 2:47:08Joe Rogan?

  Wow. He would pay extra for that?

• 2:47:11Speaker 03

  Oh, I do know. He's a fucking man.

• 2:47:13Joe Rogan?

  The Shamwow guy?

• 2:47:14Speaker 03

  He's the funniest. He would be open about it. He'd talk about it. He's like, nah, they won't let you go down on them.

• 2:47:17Joe Rogan?

  The Shamwow guy is running for Congress?

• 2:47:20Speaker 03

  I'll vote for him.

• 2:47:21Joe Rogan?

  Make America grow some balls again. Like here, it's like Cedar Park. What? Yeah. What is his first nine bills in Congress?

• 2:47:28Speaker 05

  He's posing with a headset?

• 2:47:30Joe Rogan?

  No tax on social security. That's reasonable.

• 2:47:32Speaker 05

  Great.

• 2:47:33Joe Rogan?

  Parental class view.

• 2:47:35Speaker 05

  Don't know what that is.

• 2:47:35Joe Rogan?

  What does that mean?

• 2:47:36Speaker 05

  Men, it's a ring camera.

• 2:47:37Joe Rogan?

  Ring cameras protect our homes. We do not... Oh, and classes. Woke buster. Oh, ring cameras in classes. That's not a bad idea. End XXX on X. Pornography on... Oh, boo.

• 2:47:47Speaker 05

  It sounds like this guy wants to jerk off to kids. And he's pretending to be a congressman to go, "We should set up cameras in schools."

• 2:47:54Joe Rogan?

  Healthy screen act.

• 2:47:55Speaker 05

  I like number five.

• 2:47:56Joe Rogan?

  Cowboy coats for kids.

• 2:47:57Speaker 05

  Has to be a human at customer service.

• 2:47:59Joe Rogan?

  That's not bad. That's not bad.

• 2:48:01Speaker 05

  That's somebody's annoying, like, "Agent! Agent!"

• 2:48:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. That'll ruin India. Oh, interesting. Children need to pray. Oh, come on. A lot of kid stuff coming out of this guy. Yeah. Does he have children?

• 2:48:13Speaker 05

  Cowboy coats for kids.

• 2:48:14Joe Rogan?

  Find out if he actually has children.

• 2:48:15Speaker 05

  Doubt it. Doubt it.

• 2:48:17Joe Rogan?

  Let's find out if the Shamwell guy has a family. We got a Jew here. Shlomi.

• 2:48:20Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, Vish Shlomi. He sent me a Shamwell jacket.

• 2:48:23Joe Rogan?

  Ooh. Did you wear it everywhere?

• 2:48:24Speaker 05

  Made entirely out of Shamwells.

• 2:48:26Joe Rogan?

  Did you wear it everywhere?

• 2:48:26Speaker 05

  He is a charming fellow.

• 2:48:29Joe Rogan?

  He must be great when it rains out and that thing weighs 80 pounds.

• 2:48:33Speaker 05

  Wear that for the roast.

• 2:48:34Joe Rogan?

  I go, "Great, now I weigh 375 pounds." Find out if that guy has a family. His story's actually pretty interesting. It's kind of odd that he's concentrating so much.

• 2:48:43Speaker 05

  He would just sell shit in Atlantic City, like, on the streets.

• 2:48:45Joe Rogan?

  I think it was a meth head.

• 2:48:46Speaker 05

  And he was just great at it. And he goes, "I'll take out, like, Byron Allen, like, late-night spots and just sell to more people."

• 2:48:52Joe Rogan?

  He must have made so much money.

• 2:48:53Speaker 05

  He made a ton of money. Shamwell's nice. I'll tell you, I got a good Shamwell story. One time I was staying at my buddy's house, and I stood up in the middle of the night. I was... He gave me his bed, so I was in that, but his roommate was in the other bed. It was in college. And I just stood up and pissed on the other guy's bed while he was in it.

• 2:49:11Joe Rogan?

  Oh, damn.

• 2:49:12Speaker 05

  And then, in the morning, I got a Shamwell. He soaked it all up? He just pressed it against this guy. Is that what it does? It soaks? Yeah.

• 2:49:20Speaker 03

  It soaks really well.

• 2:49:21Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's a chamois cloth. A chamois cloth is a thing they use to wash cars with forever.

• 2:49:25Speaker 03

  He said, he said he went to seven companies in Korea. He goes, send me each one. He goes, this one's the best one. All right, put my name on that and run them out.

• 2:49:31Joe Rogan?

  So is it like a synthetic version of a chamois cloth? Cause a chamois cloth is like an animal skin cloth that you use to clean cars with.

• 2:49:39Speaker 03

  No idea.

• 2:49:40Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, chamois cloth is like you wash the car and then the car has all this water on it. You use the chamois cloth first and then you polish it with like microfiber cloths.

• 2:49:48Speaker 05

  It's what it is. Actually, uh, yeah, it's very absorbent.

• 2:49:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:49:53Speaker 05

  I like the chamois thing, yeah.

• 2:49:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:49:55Speaker 05

  You bring it up, reminds me of, yeah.

• 2:49:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, chamois cloth.

• 2:49:58Speaker 05

  I used to do that.

• 2:49:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I used to do that.

• 2:50:00Speaker 03

  Buy some chamois for the studio.

• 2:50:01Speaker 05

  I used to work in an auto auction.

• 2:50:01Joe Rogan?

  There you go.

• 2:50:02Speaker 05

  And a dealership and a garage.

• 2:50:03Joe Rogan?

  Oh, there you go.

• 2:50:04Speaker 05

  I used to do it all the time.

• 2:50:04Joe Rogan?

  Which is why tires is a good show.

• 2:50:06Speaker 03

  It's out of knowledge, for sure.

• 2:50:08Speaker 05

  You're right where you know.

• 2:50:09Joe Rogan?

  Bro, you need a muscle car. You need a muscle car, Shane.

• 2:50:11Speaker 05

  I...

• 2:50:13Speaker 03

  Hey Shane, you know this massive purchase you just made?

• 2:50:15Joe Rogan?

  Hey.

• 2:50:15Speaker 03

  Doing it wrong.

• 2:50:15Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no, he's not doing it wrong.

• 2:50:17Speaker 05

  I'm happy with that one.

• 2:50:18Joe Rogan?

  That's the one's great, but how about also, how about also you get like a modern muscle car that works really well?

• 2:50:23Speaker 05

  Like a Charger?

• 2:50:24Joe Rogan?

  Do you know, do you know about Revology Mustangs?

• 2:50:26Speaker 05

  Pull it up.

• 2:50:27Joe Rogan?

  Have you ever seen my sixty-eight Mustang?

• 2:50:29Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 2:50:29Joe Rogan?

  My Bullet Mustang?

• 2:50:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, that shit rocks.

• 2:50:31Joe Rogan?

  Rocks, right? There's a company, this company Revology, they're the shit. They make a brand new nineteen sixty-nine Mustang.

• 2:50:38Speaker 05

  Well, that's what I wanted.

• 2:50:39Speaker 03

  What?

• 2:50:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:50:40Speaker 05

  I wanted, I wanted an old, you know what I wanted was...

• 2:50:42Joe Rogan?

  Look at that. This is Revology.

• 2:50:43Speaker 03

  What do you mean, brand new?

• 2:50:44Joe Rogan?

  They're bought... So this is, no, it's a, the guy, Tom Scarpello, he worked at Ford, he made the Ford GT.

• 2:50:52Speaker 05

  Can you imagine me getting out of that in fucking gym shorts?

• 2:50:54Joe Rogan?

  Me? I do it all the time.

• 2:50:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, but you look cool. I would, I would look like a fucking idiot.

• 2:50:59Joe Rogan?

  You look cool. You look like a fucking American!

• 2:51:01Speaker 05

  You do look American.

• 2:51:02Joe Rogan?

  You look American, so that's what I have. I have that car.

• 2:51:05Speaker 05

  Hopping on a scooter, going to Disney?

• 2:51:07Joe Rogan?

  I have that car on the left.

• 2:51:08Speaker 03

  Are you down with the sickness?

• 2:51:09Joe Rogan?

  I have, um. What, you have that one of the, the blue? I have the, uh, well, mine is actually green, like Steve McQueen's. I have a green one, a sixty-eight, but, but my point is, he makes the new one, which is even cooler looking, the sixty-nine. The six, go to Models, Jamie, please. Sixty-seven is the one. Go to Models, and this is. Sixty-six and a half. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, the new sixty-nine is the shit. That one, the Boss, the Boss four twenty-nine. Click on that. So it's just a bu- old body with a new car? Eggs, but it's not an old body. It's a brand new, exact version. Yes, it's a full factory. It's a full factory, but it's completely reliable. I can't drive that. Yes, you can. Jordan ones. I will force you at gunpoint to drive that. You need one of those. You need a black one. No, I need a ninety-seven Land Cruiser.

• 2:51:54Joe Rogan?

  Ooh, that's a cool car. Oh, you do? Yeah. That's what, that's what I was like. I have a ninety-five with a supercharged Corvette engine in it. And I need a new car, and I couldn't wait long enough to get one of those. What you got is perfect. What you got is perfect. Buick Regal. Do you want to tell people what you got? You need a LeBaron. No, don't tell me what you got. But what you got, so that's a eighty-six. That's a cool car. Yeah, that's a real car. I love those. Jamie, pull up mine. I have a nineteen ninety-five that TLC made me, and I had to put a supercharged Corvette engine in it. And then I had Colvin Automotive change the supercharger, jack it up to eight hundred horsepower. It's got dual exhaust now. Oh, it's a total apocalypse car. It's got a gun safe in it. It's got everything. Who's the nerd? That's my friend Jonathan Ward, who fucking built the car for me. He's lucky, I mean.

• 2:52:39Joe Rogan?

  Now, Jamie, call up a two thousand, call up a two thousand seventeen Toyota Corolla. That guy needs a wedgie. You need, you need a sixty-nine Boss. That's what you need. Look at that. Sixty-nine Boss. Oh, you got the wench. Yeah, oh, it's got everything. You're a man of sixty-nine Boss. When I was worried that, well, I had a family, and I was worried that at one point in time, LA was going to experience an apocalypse, and I had to be able to drive somewhere where there's no roads. So I got an extra-large gas tank on that thing. Whoa. Nice. I have steel bumpers all around, rock sliders on the side. I wanted to make it so I could just go. Run over Proton, so stick it out. I can't wait to die at the gates in front of your house when the apocalypse happens. You're not gonna die? I can't wait for someone, someone with a fifty gallon. I'm gonna let you in. Come on, dog. How dare you? Come on, how dare you? Save me.

• 2:53:23Joe Rogan?

  You're parked there like, do not get out of your car. By then, we'll be at the ranch. We'll have the ranch, we'll have the ranch fully operational by now. But between then, now and then, you need a fucking Mustang. You need a Boss, brother. Is a Mustang the only one they make? Can we get like an old Porsche? Can I get an old? Oh, well, there's plenty of companies to do that.

• 2:53:40Speaker 05

  I'm too big for an old Porsche.

• 2:53:41Joe Rogan?

  You're too big for a Porsche?

• 2:53:42Speaker 05

  Yeah. Land Cruiser, Land Cruiser would be safe.

• 2:53:44Joe Rogan?

  There's another company called RSR Recreations. They make a 911. It, it, you can get it with no fucking AC, no nothing, and only weighs 2,000 pounds.

• 2:53:57Joe Rogan?

  Count it, count it.

• 2:53:59Speaker 05

  I knew about it on 910.

• 2:53:59Joe Rogan?

  Dancing Israelis. They're not in the building. Don't Google Dancing Israelis, whatever you do. Don't read into that story. You'll go, hey, what?

• 2:54:09Speaker 05

  Wait a second.

• 2:54:09Joe Rogan?

  Still doesn't melt?

• 2:54:10Speaker 05

  Apek.

• 2:54:11Joe Rogan?

  How much money?

• 2:54:13Speaker 05

  Alright, there's, there's my fucking platform.

• 2:54:14Joe Rogan?

  Okay, what about?

• 2:54:16Speaker 05

  Let's get rid of Apek. Let's get rid of all those fucking hobbies.

• 2:54:18Joe Rogan?

  Well, money and politics.

• 2:54:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:54:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, all lobbies.

• 2:54:21Speaker 05

  Not just the ones that are convenient now.

• 2:54:23Joe Rogan?

  You need a muscle car. Ah, geez. If you don't want to get that, how about a new muscle car? How about a Shelby, a Shelby Super Snake R?

• 2:54:33Speaker 05

  Brother, I'm never driving that, bro.

• 2:54:35Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you bet you should.

• 2:54:36Speaker 05

  You need one car.

• 2:54:38Joe Rogan?

  You need, what?

• 2:54:39Speaker 05

  You need one car to drive a car. I need one car. I have a pretty small house and a tiny garage.

• 2:54:43Joe Rogan?

  What are you, a communist? You need to get a new house. First of all, you need to do, you're a fucking baller now. So you need a new, look at that. That's a Shelby Super Snake R. Oh, he can't drive that.

• 2:54:55Speaker 05

  Do you know what that would look like? Me getting out or bringing a girl there and going, I, I, look, I'm not gonna get hard.

• 2:54:59Joe Rogan?

  850 fucking horsepower.

• 2:55:01Speaker 05

  That's gonna be great to pull into a parking lot.

• 2:55:04Joe Rogan?

  Shut up, Ari.

• 2:55:05Speaker 05

  You gotta take that in the open road.

• 2:55:07Joe Rogan?

  Shut up, Ari. I was telling Ari back when Ari first started making money. I go, Ari, please get a nice car. Please just get a nice car. How about a Cadillac Blackwing?

• 2:55:16Speaker 05

  2022 Toyota Corolla.

• 2:55:17Joe Rogan?

  How about a CT, CT5V Blackwing? How about that? Can't have a caddy? Come on.

• 2:55:23Speaker 05

  I agree. I saw someone driving that.

• 2:55:24Joe Rogan?

  Bro, that thing's fucking rule.

• 2:55:26Speaker 05

  Just get a set of Mitsubishi.

• 2:55:28Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no, that is not your dad's car. That's a, that's a black guy. That thing has almost 700 horsepower.

• 2:55:33Speaker 05

  Keep beating the cord.

• 2:55:34Joe Rogan?

  Very reliable.

• 2:55:35Speaker 05

  You can solder the fucking hood shut for five years.

• 2:55:38Joe Rogan?

  Why would you do that, Ari? You have, you have money too, Ari. You drive me crazy. I was trying to get him to buy a BMW M3 in like 2008.

• 2:55:45Speaker 05

  Ooh, that'd be nice. I love a BMW.

• 2:55:46Joe Rogan?

  Why didn't you do it?

• 2:55:48Speaker 03

  Because I had to put all my money into this goddamn storytelling show.

• 2:55:50Speaker 02

  But you're gonna make it back.

• 2:55:51Joe Rogan?

  I put my money into that. Yeah, but you made it back already. You told me you made it back.

• 2:55:54Speaker 03

  You spent more money. Yeah, I had to make the budget back. The end available right now at Orange River.

• 2:55:57Joe Rogan?

  I've tried for years, maybe decades, to try to talk you into buying a nice car.

• 2:56:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:56:02Speaker 02

  He can't. Look at that hat.

• 2:56:03Speaker 03

  It's New York. You can't have a nice car in New York.

• 2:56:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you can't have a nice car.

• 2:56:06Speaker 02

  I got an old Beamer.

• 2:56:07Joe Rogan?

  You've got enough money to have a house other places. You should get a house out here. Get a house out here with a garage and keep some nice cars in it so you could fucking roll.

• 2:56:15Speaker 03

  Do you have enough money for that? Oh, I do not.

• 2:56:17Speaker 02

  You spent all your money in Maserati.

• 2:56:19Joe Rogan?

  I'll give you the fucking money. Tell me what car you wanna buy. Well, hold on a second. Are you buying houses?

• 2:56:23Speaker 03

  Oh, Lamborghini.

• 2:56:24Joe Rogan?

  Buying him a car, not a house.

• 2:56:25Speaker 02

  I'm still waiting to get a watch.

• 2:56:27Speaker 03

  I held out. He said, "Watch." I'm like, "I'll hold out for cars."

• 2:56:29Joe Rogan?

  Louis gave you a watch. You didn't wear it. You wear that piece of shit Timex.

• 2:56:32Speaker 02

  It's a Rolex. I can't do it.

• 2:56:34Joe Rogan?

  If I buy you a watch, will you wear it?

• 2:56:36Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:56:37Joe Rogan?

  How many times?

• 2:56:38Speaker 02

  Every day.

• 2:56:39Speaker 03

  I'm thinking the same.

• 2:56:39Speaker 02

  Really? I shower with this.

• 2:56:41Joe Rogan?

  Right, but if I bought you a real watch?

• 2:56:42Speaker 02

  I mean, not like a Rolex. One of those astronaut fuckers.

• 2:56:45Speaker 03

  You're not gonna wear a Rolex.

• 2:56:46Joe Rogan?

  Okay.

• 2:56:47Speaker 03

  That ain't your style.

• 2:56:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I'm not trying to.

• 2:56:50Joe Rogan?

  Next, protect our parks. I'm gonna get you a Speedmaster.

• 2:56:52Speaker 03

  Pause. Hold on. Can I tell you what he wants?

• 2:56:54Speaker 02

  Shamwell was a Speedmaster.

• 2:56:55Speaker 03

  He wants that size watch, not a bulky one. He wants a thinner watch.

• 2:56:59Joe Rogan?

  All right, listen.

• 2:57:00Speaker 02

  I like a small watch.

• 2:57:01Joe Rogan?

  This is not too big. This is a Rolex.

• 2:57:03Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 2:57:04Joe Rogan?

  But it's on a rubber strap. It's a little understated.

• 2:57:08Speaker 03

  G-Shock, G-Shock rules.

• 2:57:09Joe Rogan?

  How about this? Would you wear that?

• 2:57:11Speaker 03

  Indiglo?

• 2:57:12Speaker 02

  I like a, I like a metal band, but yeah, it's a good looking watch.

• 2:57:15Joe Rogan?

  Right!

• 2:57:16Speaker 03

  $100,000?

• 2:57:17Joe Rogan?

  What did, what did Louis get you?

• 2:57:19Speaker 02

  He got me the, uh, oyster face, or what do you call it?

• 2:57:22Joe Rogan?

  Oh, okay.

• 2:57:22Speaker 02

  It's really nice, and it's inscribed in the back. "Thanks for working with me, LCK."

• 2:57:26Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but you don't even wear it.

• 2:57:27Speaker 02

  It gets on my shelf. It's propped up.

• 2:57:29Joe Rogan?

  Okay. So if I buy you an Omega, you're gonna wear it?

• 2:57:32Speaker 02

  Hell, yeah. But you don't have to buy me an Omega. I'm just fucking around.

• 2:57:35Joe Rogan?

  Shut the fuck up. It's over.

• 2:57:36Speaker 03

  Norman, Norman, you're gonna love this.

• 2:57:38Speaker 05

  Egit gave me the coolest thing that I have, which was Norm MacDonald's cup on The Late Night.

• 2:57:44Speaker 02

  Whoa, the mug?

• 2:57:46Speaker 05

  The actual mug from The Late Night. Egit gave me this, the coolest thing.

• 2:57:51Speaker 02

  Pull that out.

• 2:57:51Speaker 05

  From, uh, Norm doing, uh...

• 2:57:54Speaker 02

  The talk show? Oh, Letterman.

• 2:57:55Joe Rogan?

  He brought it home?

• 2:57:56Speaker 05

  That's tight.

• 2:57:57Speaker 02

  Wow, that's a great one.

• 2:57:59Speaker 05

  That's the best gift I got.

• 2:58:00Joe Rogan?

  That's a, I would protect that.

• 2:58:02Speaker 05

  That'd be Sigur's Hitler cup.

• 2:58:04Joe Rogan?

  Imagine if a chick comes over your house and drops that? Can I have a cup of tea? I would punch her.

• 2:58:09Speaker 05

  Oh, I'd protect it. It's on my mantle. It's in the middle of, it's above my...

• 2:58:12Speaker 02

  Wow, that's great.

• 2:58:13Joe Rogan?

  I put like, ring ropes around it to cushion it.

• 2:58:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, I probably should.

• 2:58:16Speaker 02

  Mickey Mantle.

• 2:58:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:58:19Speaker 02

  That's a, that's a good one.

• 2:58:21Speaker 05

  That's the best one.

• 2:58:22Speaker 02

  Those Rodney notes are great.

• 2:58:23Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, isn't that amazing in the green room?

• 2:58:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's pretty cool.

• 2:58:26Joe Rogan?

  The handwritten Rodney notes from his Tonight Show special?

• 2:58:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 2:58:29Joe Rogan?

  Whitney got us those. Rodney's wife donated it. She found out about the club, she knew we were doing it, and she donated it to us.

• 2:58:35Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 2:58:35Joe Rogan?

  Very cool.

• 2:58:36Speaker 05

  That's a cool thing to see in there.

• 2:58:38Joe Rogan?

  It's amazing. And you get to read them and you see how like, would like make the punchlines bold and all the notes, then bold punchline.

• 2:58:46Speaker 02

  Oh yeah.

• 2:58:46Joe Rogan?

  It's cool, just, it's like the feeling, the spirit of like joke writing is in that room.

• 2:58:50Speaker 02

  He was, he was a drug addict.

• 2:58:53Joe Rogan?

  Allegedly.

• 2:58:54Speaker 02

  No, that was pretty out there.

• 2:58:55Speaker 05

  The coolest thing about Rodney was that when weed was illegal...

• 2:58:57Joe Rogan?

  He enjoyed drugs. I don't know if he was a drug addict.

• 2:59:00Speaker 05

  When weed was illegal and cops would come into a club he was in, he was just smoking weed, he would just go up to them like, "Hello, officer, how you doing?", just holding, he knew he was immune, no one's gonna touch him.

• 2:59:09Joe Rogan?

  I told you guys when I worked as a security guard, when I got to see Rodney perform, when I worked as a security guard?

• 2:59:14Speaker 02

  Whoa, I didn't even beat up a guy with a walkie talkie.

• 2:59:17Joe Rogan?

  Uh, no, I didn't beat him up. No, that was Alley Cat. That was my boss. He beat up a guy. That was my first day, Cat.

• 2:59:23Speaker 05

  That was the first thing I heard you say, that was, I was like, damn, Joe's old. He had a boy, he was like, "No, that was my boy, Alley Cat."

• 2:59:30Joe Rogan?

  That was the boss. Alley Cat was the boss. So what happened was, uh, one of the guys from my taco window gym got, uh, hired to be security. And they were like, "Bro, it's like 50 bucks an hour, it's really cool, you get to see concerts." So we all went and I got to see Rodney there. Rodney was backstage with... Nothing on but a bathrobe. Open? He was completely naked. No, I didn't see that. I saw him walking around with slippers and a bathrobe. And then he went on stage with nothing but a bathrobe. Damn. Bathrobe naked underneath it.

• 3:00:00Speaker 05

  Went on stage that way?

• 3:00:01Joe Rogan?

  That's amazing. Nineteen eighty-six. Wow. And fucking destroyed. I was nineteen. Wow. Mesmerized. And back then, I wasn't even thinking about doing comedy. I was just fighting and I was enjoying it. And I was like, this is, this guy's so free. I remember thinking that. Like, this guy's on stage with a, I mean, destroying. I get no respect, no respect at all. And the fucking place is going nuts. Wow. Punchline after punchline after punchline. I was nineteen. I mean, I was blown away. And you were working? I was working. Yeah, I was a security guard. That's a good gig. Got to see the shows. That was also the job that I quit when, you know, the whole thing would happen with COVID where Neil Young pulled his music off Spotify because I was giving out vaccine misinformation.

• 3:00:45Speaker 05

  Wait, is that until he couldn't get a plate elsewhere?

• 3:00:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. And then he came back. Really, he didn't even own his music. It's all bullshit. But anyway, I didn't shit on him at the time, even though he's trying to ruin my life because I was a Neil Young fan. And I told the story about how when I was a security guard, the last day on the job was a Neil Young concert because a riot broke out. And a riot broke out. I was like, I'm not fighting for fifty bucks an hour. Zipped up my hoodie and I just walked out and I never even got my last check. Damn. It was cold out and Great Woods in Mansfield has a whole lawn. It's an amphitheater. So the, the mid, the front part that's all seeded has a cover over it and then the back part's a lawn. And it was a little cold out, so these fucking animals, the Neil Young concerts, started lighting bonfires. And so the security guys had to come over and tell them, hey, put out the fires.

• 3:01:30Joe Rogan?

  And drunk guys were like, fuck you. And my friend Larry punched some guy and Larry was like the nicest guy in the world. I'm like, oh my god, we're having a war. And so the fight started breaking up and as soon as like my friends were safe and we were, I'm like, let's get the fuck out of here. I put on my hoodie and I just quit. I'm like, I'm not fighting these fucking people. And that was my last day on the job as a security guard.

• 3:01:50Speaker 05

  Bonfires and fist fighting at a fucking Neil Young concert.

• 3:01:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:01:54Speaker 05

  It's so crazy.

• 3:01:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:01:59Joe Rogan?

  Ten Taekwondo black belts, including like national level competitors that were all security guards. They were just waiting to kick somebody into a coma.

• 3:02:06Speaker 05

  Roundhouse and Neil Young fans.

• 3:02:08Joe Rogan?

  We'd never, I mean.

• 3:02:09Speaker 05

  Oh, you got him.

• 3:02:10Joe Rogan?

  Who's Joe DeRosa?

• 3:02:11Speaker 05

  Oh, finally.

• 3:02:13Joe Rogan?

  Let me, okay, let's hear this.

• 3:02:14Speaker 05

  Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

• 3:02:16Speaker 03

  All right, go.

• 3:02:20Speaker 03

  Uh, hold on.

• 3:02:21Speaker 05

  No audio.

• 3:02:21Speaker 03

  Where's the volume?

• 3:02:23Speaker 05

  I remember, this is covid time, huh?

• 3:02:25Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 3:02:26Speaker 05

  I remember you'd wear that.

• 3:02:27Speaker 03

  Oh, my gosh, Shane, fuck you.

• 3:02:29Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah, I was like, I was like, I'll add the song. What's the with the glasses?

• 3:02:34Speaker 03

  I don't know, I was doing something. It's Skiggle's. Oh, my god.

• 3:02:37Speaker 05

  This is brutal. I forgot that was my best part is I said, I'll add the music.

• 3:02:43Speaker 05

  Oh, this is like a hostage video.

• 3:02:48Speaker 03

  Please turn this off.

• 3:02:49Speaker 05

  This is horrific.

• 3:02:54Speaker 03

  I love the devaros so much.

• 3:02:57Speaker 05

  Oh, man, he took it so serious.

• 3:03:01Joe Rogan?

  That's not as fun as Roddy naked.

• 3:03:05Speaker 05

  That was tough.

• 3:03:05Speaker 03

  Damn, Shane, you killed me. I did not enjoy that at all.

• 3:03:09Speaker 05

  That was bad.

• 3:03:10Speaker 00

  I'll turn it. Did you see the Scientology speedruns that were going around?

• 3:03:13Speaker 05

  What's that, Jamie?

• 3:03:14Speaker 00

  These kids are breaking into Scientology places all over the country.

• 3:03:19Speaker 05

  They're breaking into them? Norman. Why?

• 3:03:20Speaker 00

  The ones they call speedruns.

• 3:03:22Speaker 05

  Speedruns?

• 3:03:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:03:23Speaker 05

  No, let me see this.

• 3:03:24Speaker 00

  They're trying to get as deep as they can possibly get.

• 3:03:26Speaker 05

  Into a Scientology building?

• 3:03:31Speaker 03

  Speedruns.

• 3:03:33Speaker 05

  Wow. That guy, the White House correspondent. Yeah. So cold. Oh, you want to play games?

• 3:03:39Speaker 03

  No, I don't.

• 3:03:43Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 3:03:44Speaker 03

  Speedruns is such a great way to go through something. Just run as fast as just blitzkrieg.

• 3:03:48Speaker 05

  They'll kill you, those guys.

• 3:03:50Speaker 00

  To the point where now that they've like, uh, they've taken the handles off the doors on the outside.

• 3:03:55Speaker 03

  I went once. I went, me and Natasha went to, uh, to Scientology once. And on Vine, yeah, and I was, they kind of got me a little. They were like, can we get some information from you? I'm like, I'll give you my home address if you want. And she was like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like, I don't know, they're kidding me. The book they saw was, it's good for ages eight to eight. Wow.

• 3:04:14Speaker 02

  So this kid just ran through?

• 3:04:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, sort of just busting through, making noise.

• 3:04:18Speaker 02

  Maybe whites are coming back.

• 3:04:19Speaker 00

  Causing as much chaos as they can in like 10 seconds. They're not really doing anything other than just.

• 3:04:23Joe Rogan?

  And all these other people behind them, are they Scientologists? Are these just all the kids?

• 3:04:27Speaker 00

  These would all be the kids running through the building.

• 3:04:28Joe Rogan?

  So there's more than one kid? There's multiple kids?

• 3:04:31Speaker 00

  Thirty of them.

• 3:04:31Speaker 02

  Good for them.

• 3:04:32Speaker 03

  Some will get through.

• 3:04:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh, look how deep they're going.

• 3:04:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're just trying to like, what's inside? What are you guys hiding?

• 3:04:36Speaker 02

  I love these guys.

• 3:04:37Speaker 00

  No one really has ever seen inside those buildings.

• 3:04:39Speaker 02

  They're having fun.

• 3:04:40Speaker 03

  Oh, how weird.

• 3:04:40Speaker 00

  And they just run out the exit.

• 3:04:42Joe Rogan?

  Well, they're like the second biggest real estate holders in Los Angeles, I think.

• 3:04:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're crazy.

• 3:04:47Speaker 03

  Oh my god, look at this guy trying.

• 3:04:48Joe Rogan?

  I think it's like China and then Scientology raid with Jesus. They're trying to open the door.

• 3:04:53Speaker 02

  Whoa, I love it.

• 3:04:54Joe Rogan?

  Oh, this is so crazy.

• 3:04:55Speaker 03

  It's over, they got you.

• 3:04:56Speaker 02

  They deserve this. Those guys are cunts.

• 3:04:58Speaker 00

  I mean, look at the inside though, too. I've never.

• 3:05:00Speaker 03

  Scientology has a voting block in Los Angeles, Hollywood.

• 3:05:03Joe Rogan?

  It's pretty cool inside.

• 3:05:04Speaker 00

  It's like a museum.

• 3:05:04Speaker 02

  Look at that.

• 3:05:05Joe Rogan?

  Wow, I want to go in there.

• 3:05:06Speaker 02

  Wow. Yeah, because you take a, you take a photo outside their building, they'll, they'll tap you.

• 3:05:11Joe Rogan?

  Well, I remember during the 90s, a lot of people were thinking about joining Scientology because it was really good for your career back then.

• 3:05:17Speaker 03

  Career, right. They had acting class, uh, something east.

• 3:05:20Speaker 02

  They had Will Smith, Tom Cruise.

• 3:05:23Joe Rogan?

  Brian Callen was in an acting class with Scientology guy. And I remember he was like telling me that like a lot of these Scientologists, they like get really far in acting because like you get connected.

• 3:05:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 3:05:35Joe Rogan?

  Deepest recorded Scientology run on God's first.

• 3:05:38Speaker 00

  It just started recently, I think like this month.

• 3:05:40Speaker 02

  Good for them.

• 3:05:42Joe Rogan?

  Look at this guy moving. Look at this guy with the fucking suits trying to stop him.

• 3:05:46Speaker 03

  They put a hand out as if that's gonna do it.

• 3:05:48Joe Rogan?

  Very unenthusiastic.

• 3:05:50Speaker 02

  Hey, did you guys see the fat principal who stopped the school shooting?

• 3:05:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:05:54Speaker 02

  That was amazing.

• 3:05:55Speaker 03

  What?

• 3:05:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I think it was in Virginia, he got shot. The guy came into the building with a gun and this fucking principal just rushes him, grabs him, tackles him, holds on to the gun. He got shot in the leg, apparently.

• 3:06:06Speaker 02

  Badass.

• 3:06:07Speaker 03

  What, what?

• 3:06:08Joe Rogan?

  And then he went into a party, it was like.

• 3:06:10Speaker 02

  The prom.

• 3:06:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was the prom, like a week later and everybody went crazy and cheered.

• 3:06:15Speaker 02

  He became prom king.

• 3:06:16Joe Rogan?

  Very emotional.

• 3:06:17Speaker 05

  Twenty deaths.

• 3:06:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I mean, stopped it in its tracks as the guy came in through the front door.

• 3:06:23Speaker 05

  You do have one moment where like you see it, you realize and you're like, let's go.

• 3:06:27Joe Rogan?

  They have the video. Injured in school shooting, shooter identified as former student. Former student? Oklahoma, that's where it is.

• 3:06:33Speaker 05

  Wayne Coyne.

• 3:06:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Wow, look at the guy, that's the guy. But if you watch the video, the guy fucking literally threw himself on the guy with the gun. Completely heroic.

• 3:06:43Speaker 05

  Show me his face again, dude, that's a guy who loves brewskis.

• 3:06:46Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 3:06:48Speaker 05

  He's going, barbecue, dude, I'm gonna tackle this fucking weirdo.

• 3:06:51Joe Rogan?

  Well, he's probably not worried about his death.

• 3:06:53Speaker 05

  Hey, Mark, I can't even drink that yet.

• 3:06:55Joe Rogan?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 3:06:56Speaker 05

  He's ready to go to Valhalla, dude, he's on Viking. That's an American Viking, dude, you get fat as shit, you drink beers, you go, fuck it, I've been waiting for somebody to kill me.

• 3:07:05Joe Rogan?

  See you in Valhalla, brother. He's a hero, goddamn it. Didn't Cash Patel say that about somebody, see you in Valhalla?

• 3:07:11Speaker 05

  About Charlie Kirk, it was the corniest fucking shit ever. That's a rough one. Your watch is over, we'll see you in Valhalla, brother.

• 3:07:19Joe Rogan?

  I was watching a video on what a thirty odd six round actually would do to a neck. Oh, no, here we go. Yeah, they showed like what the actual rifle round would do to a person's neck versus like what you saw from Charlie Kirk. There's a lot of people that don't think it was really that guy on the roof that shot him, that was something else. Some people think it was a microphone, but I, the problem, yeah, the microphone shot him in the neck, like there was some sort of an implemented destruction device. The problem I have with that is you don't see any fire coming off of the microphone. Right. Like, if a microphone is gonna kill you, it's gonna shoot you somehow or another, it's gotta be an explosive charge and then you'll see a flash and then something will projectile from that into your neck.

• 3:08:00Speaker 05

  They say a microphone shot him in the, yeah, somebody shot him, right?

• 3:08:03Joe Rogan?

  If a rifle, someone shot him. If a rifle shoots your neck, wouldn't it go through? You would imagine it would, and in these videos that I saw, it like shows a massive destruction, so what they're using is ballistic gel. And so they have like a fake neck and a fake head and like a spine, they show ballistic gel, what it looks like. And it just blows the neck completely apart, it's just splatter, a giant opening wound, because this tissue is very soft. I mean, this is not durable tissue, and he got shot and it was not even an exit hole.

• 3:08:32Speaker 05

  Did they catch the guy?

• 3:08:34Joe Rogan?

  Supposedly. You don't know that? They got the guy. Were you in? Yeah, you do.

• 3:08:37Speaker 05

  I was in Guatemala.

• 3:08:38Joe Rogan?

  You're so out of the loop.

• 3:08:40Speaker 05

  I remember at a bar in Guatemala, someone was like, who's Charlie Kirk? I'm like, I think he makes, I think he makes fun of college kids. You're right about that.

• 3:08:46Speaker 02

  That's not wrong.

• 3:08:47Speaker 03

  And then I was like, why? They're like, I think he got killed. I was like, oh.

• 3:08:51Joe Rogan?

  Bro, there's many, many, many, many, many layers to that story.

• 3:08:54Speaker 05

  Pass the weed.

• 3:08:55Speaker 02

  And his wife.

• 3:08:56Speaker 03

  We're at an outdoor, outdoor bar. Like, anyway, bro, pass that over.

• 3:09:01Speaker 05

  Pass the weed, so, yeah.

• 3:09:02Joe Rogan?

  There's many levels to that story.

• 3:09:04Speaker 05

  I don't mean to come down on you, but that sucks. Oh, man, I don't even know that guy. Pass the weed.

• 3:09:10Speaker 03

  Dude, I was looking for weed and inside was smoking. I'm like, I'm looking for that weed.

• 3:09:14Joe Rogan?

  In Guatemala?

• 3:09:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, at a bar.

• 3:09:15Joe Rogan?

  What is the legality of weed in Guatemala?

• 3:09:18Speaker 03

  Same as, like, five years ago here, like, do it quietly.

• 3:09:22Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you can get arrested, though.

• 3:09:24Speaker 03

  You can, but...

• 3:09:25Joe Rogan?

  And you wind up in a Guatemalan jail. Imagine if we had to bail you out, like, fucking, the eighteen?

• 3:09:29Speaker 03

  You wouldn't even know.

• 3:09:30Speaker 05

  We would never bail you out.

• 3:09:31Joe Rogan?

  I would. I'd go there.

• 3:09:33Speaker 05

  Let him sit there for a little.

• 3:09:34Speaker 02

  Nah. You would fly to Guatemala?

• 3:09:35Joe Rogan?

  Hundred percent. Hundred percent. Yeah, if Ari was in jail in Guatemala, one hundred percent we'd get him out.

• 3:09:40Speaker 05

  Nah, that'd be fun, though, to let him sit for a few days.

• 3:09:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:09:43Speaker 05

  He needs to learn his lessons, dude.

• 3:09:44Speaker 03

  Of course I'm gonna get weed. I'm the guy who gets weed. The lesson is, keep getting weed, man.

• 3:09:50Joe Rogan?

  We'd have to go get him. I'd make you guys come with me.

• 3:09:52Speaker 02

  We'd have to film it.

• 3:09:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, protect our parks from, from a fucking national park in Guatemala.

• 3:09:58Joe Rogan?

  Whoever filmed your fucking, that whole run that you did, that guy, yeah, he'll put some witty quotes.

• 3:10:03Speaker 03

  Get him in there. Get Ari in there.

• 3:10:06Speaker 05

  Look at this.

• 3:10:06Speaker 02

  State of emergency because of...

• 3:10:08Joe Rogan?

  Gang prisons.

• 3:10:08Speaker 02

  Oh, you'd be fucked.

• 3:10:09Joe Rogan?

  Prison riots and the gangs. He'd be in that gang getting fucked.

• 3:10:12Speaker 02

  Good to get you back in the camps.

• 3:10:13Joe Rogan?

  I can't have you in there, Ari. Getting fucked by these Guatemalan dudes.

• 3:10:16Speaker 03

  Dude, those guys who gave me weed and told me about Charlie Kirk, they were like, what do you think about Trump? I'm like, I, I don't really know. And then I figured out how to turn it away from that conversation. I go, how, how's your guy? And they go, our guy sucks. He's so crooked.

• 3:10:28Speaker 02

  Maduro?

• 3:10:29Speaker 03

  No, it was somebody from Guatemala.

• 3:10:31Speaker 02

  Oh, sorry, wrong country.

• 3:10:32Speaker 03

  You just turn it on their guy, they love talking about it. Yeah, it's on Maduro. It's far away.

• 3:10:37Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 3:10:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's like, how's yours? Like, he's crooked. He takes money from corporations. I'm like, yeah, we do that.

• 3:10:42Joe Rogan?

  Boo.

• 3:10:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:10:43Speaker 02

  Better than El Salvador. That place is even crazier.

• 3:10:46Joe Rogan?

  No, what they did, they stopped all the crime.

• 3:10:49Speaker 02

  Didn't they have a ton of gangs?

• 3:10:51Joe Rogan?

  They threw them all in giant prisons and stopped all...

• 3:10:54Speaker 03

  All the crime. They drove him out, killed the rest. Can we do that? Their crime, their crime dropped off a fucking cliff.

• 3:10:59Speaker 03

  Maybe that's why it's a big story here, Mark. Yeah, I guess so. No, that guy isn't here to everyone there. They all love him. Look at this. Agreed. Everyone who was there loves him. Everyone who came in later was like, oh, so so. That's how Salvador's prisons. We should do that to our civilians. Look at the guy in the back, he's kinda fat. There's a couple, couple chunks in there.

• 3:11:18Joe Rogan?

  I bet there's a few guys in there that don't belong.

• 3:11:20Speaker 03

  Uh, no, there's a story here that anyone with a tattoo would get arrested and they're like, no, no. It's anyone with a tattoo of a cop you've killed with his badge number, you get arrested. They captured all the Nate Diaz's. All Nate Diaz's. Yeah, they do look like Nate.

• 3:11:34Joe Rogan?

  Nate. They're all gonna stand there and go, what's up?

• 3:11:36Speaker 03

  He ended up, you got their country back. Damn, the tattoo guys obviously cleaning up out there. Wait, wait, let's see if we can see.

• 3:11:42Joe Rogan?

  Bro, look at that guy's face. When you tattoo your face up like that, that, you are not fucking around.

• 3:11:46Speaker 03

  So a lot of the face tattoos are loved ones they've raped? No. Yeah, you get extra, no, I didn't just make it up.

• 3:11:53Joe Rogan?

  What?

• 3:11:53Speaker 03

  You get extra points for raping a mom, a sister, an aunt.

• 3:11:56Joe Rogan?

  Your own mom?

• 3:11:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, buddy. Wow. This can't, this. It wasn't a great situation.

• 3:12:02Joe Rogan?

  Where are you coming up with this?

• 3:12:03Speaker 03

  Talking to El Salvadorans.

• 3:12:05Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god.

• 3:12:05Speaker 03

  In El Salvador. I think your Spanish was a little broken. They had a soccer. It's non-existent. Can you speak Spanish at all? Oh yeah, they had a soccer game.

• 3:12:14Joe Rogan?

  Say something, order pizza.

• 3:12:17Speaker 03

  Yo quiero una pizza por favor. Oh, come on. That was yo quiero Taco Bell with pizza. They had a soccer game they played in the fort town where they cut babies out of a woman and play soccer with it.

• 3:12:29Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god.

• 3:12:30Speaker 03

  Hey, making soccer interesting. Their, their gangs are trained by US, but, uh, pretty strong. So he got to get rid of them.

• 3:12:38Joe Rogan?

  Well, they, what they did was nuts though. They like just made these giant super prisons and just put everybody in there and the crime dropped off a cliff.

• 3:12:46Speaker 03

  Damn. I went to Independence Day parade there. It was wild how much everyone is like, what are you doing here? This is wild. Our guy is the best. It's the only country where they're like, we love our guy. Everyone else we hate our guy, they love their guy. They wouldn't let you into Nicaragua. Yeah, you gotta pretend.

• 3:13:03Joe Rogan?

  They wouldn't let Ari into Nicaragua.

• 3:13:05Speaker 03

  Fake news, they love that guy. They love that guy. It was the first time they could, they could go out in public and like, and like, and like, do anything. What's the name of the El Sel? He's half, half Arab. They don't care. What kind of Arab? I don't know.

• 3:13:20Joe Rogan?

  The good kind. Is there?

• 3:13:22Speaker 03

  Not Palestinian, no.

• 3:13:23Speaker 05

  No, no, no, I just mean. Wow.

• 3:13:26Speaker 03

  Is he Jewish?

• 3:13:27Speaker 05

  I bet.

• 3:13:27Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 3:13:28Joe Rogan?

  It's not supported, the, the, the claim that specific face tattoos in El Salvador mark someone as being raped, who was raped, a family member is not supported by credible evidence. By the way, what credible evidence do you get?

• 3:13:38Speaker 03

  Talked to so many people there, so disagree with this.

• 3:13:43Joe Rogan?

  It's hard to know because like, how many people are documenting this stuff in like peer reviewed papers? You know what I mean? Like, what is perplexity drawing from?

• 3:13:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. People on the streets are like, this is what happens.

• 3:13:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Well, I'm sure a lot of it did happen. I'm sure a lot of it hap- you know, I, there was a guy that used to be the fucking doorman at the improv and he showed me this cartel video of this guy getting eaten by a pit bull. And it still haunts my dreams. The guy was, he was tied up, arms and legs, and the pit bull was eating his dick.

• 3:14:13Joe Rogan?

  The pit bull was just completely locked on this guy's crotch and this guy was screaming. Michael Dick. And he goes, hey, man, check this out. This, my friend sent me this from the cartel. And I'm like, why are you showing this to? I have to go do onstage in 20 minutes. Oh, man.

• 3:14:28Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 3:14:30Speaker 05

  I was trying to do the sound, I couldn't do it. In my head, I was thinking about doing it. I couldn't think of it.

• 3:14:35Joe Rogan?

  What? That's pretty good.

• 3:14:37Speaker 05

  I was like, damn.

• 3:14:38Joe Rogan?

  That was damn good, Michael Winslow.

• 3:14:42Joe Rogan?

  Just that this giant headed pit bull was locked on this guy's dick and he was screaming and I've never forgot it.

• 3:14:46Speaker 05

  Well, it's, it's, yeah, the internet hit us at different ages like that, because I got hit with those when I was young.

• 3:14:52Speaker 03

  You're right.

• 3:14:52Speaker 05

  And I was like, that's enough.

• 3:14:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they're not fun.

• 3:14:55Speaker 05

  But if I was an adult and somebody showed me something horrific like that, that does stick with you.

• 3:14:59Joe Rogan?

  Bro, me and Segura, we have a text chain, me and Segura, it's the war shit that either one of us find on the internet.

• 3:15:05Speaker 05

  They don't really toss those around anymore. The cartel videos.

• 3:15:08Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, this was, this was someone who was a cop, sent it to this guy. And then this guy showed me. God, the shit cops must see. Oh, right? Tough. They need the eye game. They got a high suicide. Oh, very high, very high. We, all first responders, they all have much higher suicide rates in general population.

• 3:15:27Speaker 03

  That's not normal to see that much damage.

• 3:15:30Joe Rogan?

  Imagine you're a guy who just shows up at car accidents every day?

• 3:15:33Speaker 03

  Every day, you see one, you're like, I gotta go to therapy.

• 3:15:35Joe Rogan?

  Right, you see a family.

• 3:15:36Speaker 03

  Three a week.

• 3:15:37Joe Rogan?

  Legs and splatter and dead babies and fucking moms.

• 3:15:40Speaker 03

  Have somebody go, am I gonna be okay? And you're like, you look at his arm and leg over there and you're like, fuck.

• 3:15:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:15:46Speaker 02

  And people hate you on top of that.

• 3:15:48Joe Rogan?

  That's true.

• 3:15:49Speaker 02

  That sucks. You can't, you can't win.

• 3:15:50Joe Rogan?

  Especially cops. But first responders, people don't even hate them.

• 3:15:54Speaker 03

  Nobody really hates ambulance drivers.

• 3:15:55Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 3:15:55Speaker 02

  No, or firemen.

• 3:15:57Speaker 03

  Or firemen, yeah. Well. That's crooked. What?

• 3:16:01Joe Rogan?

  They're not.

• 3:16:04Speaker 03

  What?

• 3:16:05Joe Rogan?

  Boys, we gotta wrap this up.

• 3:16:06Speaker 05

  I don't think we do.

• 3:16:07Joe Rogan?

  I think we just start.

• 3:16:09Speaker 03

  We just start, we're just going, going.

• 3:16:10Speaker 02

  Jamo's drunk.

• 3:16:12Speaker 05

  You're not going anywhere, brother. You're gonna bong another beer and say something dumb.

• 3:16:15Joe Rogan?

  What do you have to do?

• 3:16:16Speaker 05

  You gotta do a thing at my kid's school.

• 3:16:18Joe Rogan?

  You gotta do a thing at your kid's school.

• 3:16:19Speaker 02

  Tonight?

• 3:16:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I gotta go to a thing at my kid's school.

• 3:16:22Speaker 02

  Oh, you're gonna rink a booze?

• 3:16:23Speaker 03

  You can't be drunk for this. You can bong one more and then that's it, Joe.

• 3:16:25Speaker 02

  What are you gonna, a class play?

• 3:16:27Joe Rogan?

  A thing. I gotta go to a thing.

• 3:16:29Speaker 02

  Show and tell?

• 3:16:30Joe Rogan?

  You can bong a beer.

• 3:16:31Speaker 02

  PTA?

• 3:16:31Joe Rogan?

  No, I can't. I can't. Not anymore.

• 3:16:33Speaker 05

  You can bong a beer before it's done.

• 3:16:34Joe Rogan?

  No. I gotta, I gotta be out of here in a little bit. I'm done.

• 3:16:37Speaker 02

  Talent show?

• 3:16:38Speaker 03

  I gotta go to the bathroom one more time, but we're not ending here.

• 3:16:40Joe Rogan?

  One more time. How many times have you gone to the bathroom? You've already gone three.

• 3:16:43Speaker 02

  I've gone once, you fucking dirty.

• 3:16:45Speaker 03

  You drank a beer. I'm not in competition with you. You're sipping a fucking bullseye.

• 3:16:49Speaker 05

  I haven't even seen you refill that thing.

• 3:16:51Speaker 02

  I make the noise every time.

• 3:16:53Speaker 03

  Twice. That's true. That's true.

• 3:16:56Speaker 05

  I remember the noise twice.

• 3:16:58Joe Rogan?

  Ah, so nice to be back, boys.

• 3:17:00Speaker 05

  It is.

• 3:17:01Speaker 02

  It is good to be back.

• 3:17:01Joe Rogan?

  This is so fun.

• 3:17:02Speaker 03

  It is good to be back.

• 3:17:03Speaker 02

  I don't wanna speak out of school, but this might be the best one.

• 3:17:05Joe Rogan?

  We missed you, dude. It was weird not knowing where you were. It was very uncomfortable. I didn't like it.

• 3:17:10Speaker 05

  Sorry. I was completely fine with it.

• 3:17:14Speaker 03

  Dude, when I texted you when I was back, you're like, who is this? I was just like, hey, it's the Jew. I'd say some very specific things, like, who is this? Like, you know the fuck it is. You're like, yes, motherfucker.

• 3:17:22Joe Rogan?

  Well, I still get a million.

• 3:17:24Speaker 03

  I knew, I knew it was you.

• 3:17:25Joe Rogan?

  Well, I started getting text messages from an unknown number. They're like, new things about me. I'm like, who the fuck is this?

• 3:17:29Speaker 02

  Yes, you did that.

• 3:17:30Joe Rogan?

  But I've been meaning to change my phone number for so long. Like, every time a new one comes in, I'm like, oh, fuck this.

• 3:17:36Speaker 05

  I got the same one since seventh grade.

• 3:17:37Joe Rogan?

  Here we go.

• 3:17:38Speaker 05

  Here we go.

• 3:17:38Joe Rogan?

  Let's go.

• 3:17:40Speaker 02

  Oh, tits.

• 3:17:44Speaker 02

  This is Moscow, horse.

• 3:17:47Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 3:17:47Speaker 02

  Oh, I know. This is, uh, Florida.

• 3:17:49Joe Rogan?

  Oakland Coliseum.

• 3:17:50Speaker 02

  Oakland?

• 3:17:51Speaker 03

  Oakland Coliseum.

• 3:17:52Speaker 02

  Oakland was late.

• 3:17:53Speaker 05

  These are the Raiders' plays.

• 3:17:57Speaker 03

  Teddy.

• 3:17:58Joe Rogan?

  What year? I will never get tired of this song.

• 3:18:01Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 3:18:02Joe Rogan?

  I'll never get tired of this song.

• 3:18:06Speaker 02

  We can't go out on this, because they can't hear it.

• 3:18:07Speaker 05

  You gotta bong one.

• 3:18:11Speaker 05

  Wait, they actually, they're not allowed to hear this? I dunno. Sometimes they are.

• 3:18:15Joe Rogan?

  We'll see what happens.

• 3:18:16Speaker 02

  But yeah, that's, that's a hell of a tune.

• 3:18:18Speaker 05

  Let's get JMo one.

• 3:18:19Joe Rogan?

  I went to see them recently in Texas.

• 3:18:21Speaker 05

  Get the whole gang one.

• 3:18:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but it's like, it's different.

• 3:18:24Speaker 05

  I will.

• 3:18:25Joe Rogan?

  So many people are dead.

• 3:18:26Speaker 05

  Right, it's the same band. You gotta see them when they're all there, it's like...

• 3:18:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's, it's like, it's a tribute band a little bit, but they did great. It was, it was still the great songs, but the party is like, ah, I wish the real guys were alive. It's like, if you went to see a Hendrix tribute band, you just get sad.

• 3:18:43Speaker 02

  Right.

• 3:18:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you just get sad, like, I missed Hendrix.

• 3:18:46Speaker 05

  I wanna see Led Zeppelin.

• 3:18:48Joe Rogan?

  Well, you know what's weird is like Journey, they have like, that guy, Steve, what is his name? The lead singer of Journey?

• 3:18:54Speaker 05

  Was it Steve Perry?

• 3:18:55Joe Rogan?

  Steve Perry. He's still alive, and he doesn't sing for Journey anymore. There's another guy who sings for Journey, he's like a Filipino guy.

• 3:19:01Speaker 05

  You can replace drummer, you can replace guitar, you cannot replace lead singer.

• 3:19:05Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 3:19:05Speaker 05

  No way.

• 3:19:05Speaker 02

  No, need a front man.

• 3:19:08Speaker 05

  Although, I saw Foreigner.

• 3:19:10Speaker 02

  Really?

• 3:19:11Speaker 05

  With the new guy.

• 3:19:12Joe Rogan?

  How was it?

• 3:19:12Speaker 02

  Were they cooking?

• 3:19:13Speaker 05

  I was so excited.

• 3:19:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah?

• 3:19:15Speaker 05

  See Ju Pac's here alive, I saw that. Bro, I saw Foreigner, Styx, and Def Leppard. I was there for Foreigner, and then I worked in a factory the next day at 4am.

• 3:19:26Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 3:19:27Speaker 05

  That shit sucked.

• 3:19:28Speaker 02

  What kinda factory? What were you making?

• 3:19:30Joe Rogan?

  No way!

• 3:19:31Speaker 05

  I shoveled glue into a machine for 12 hours the next day.

• 3:19:35Joe Rogan?

  Glue? Glues in ice cream?

• 3:19:37Speaker 05

  You just throw up. Yeah, we were making the packaging.

• 3:19:40Joe Rogan?

  Glue?

• 3:19:41Speaker 05

  We made the packaging.

• 3:19:42Speaker 02

  Oh wow!

• 3:19:43Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 3:19:43Speaker 02

  Did you get free ice cream?

• 3:19:44Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 3:19:45Speaker 05

  You could stick your hand in the ice cream. We don't make ice cream, you love. We make the packaging.

• 3:19:52Speaker 02

  Glue into a machine, sounds like fucking a sex doll.

• 3:19:54Speaker 05

  It was, yeah, a lot of glue.

• 3:19:57Joe Rogan?

  All right, when do you decide when you're gonna do these walkabouts? Like, how far out?

• 3:20:02Speaker 05

  Well in advance. Probably like a year.

• 3:20:05Joe Rogan?

  So like, how much time between now and the next walkabout?

• 3:20:07Speaker 05

  No plans for the next one, yeah.

• 3:20:09Speaker 02

  You've done Asia, you've done South America.

• 3:20:11Joe Rogan?

  You should go to South Africa.

• 3:20:12Speaker 05

  Rush, uh, no interest in Russia.

• 3:20:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, go to Zimbabwe.

• 3:20:15Joe Rogan?

  Go get arrested, faggot.

• 3:20:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, do it, pussy.

• 3:20:20Speaker 02

  Come on, you bitch. Go to Ghana.

• 3:20:23Joe Rogan?

  Go to Ghana.

• 3:20:25Speaker 02

  Go to, go to fucking Gaza.

• 3:20:27Speaker 05

  I don't know where it'd be next.

• 3:20:28Speaker 02

  I dare you.

• 3:20:29Speaker 05

  Gaza's got no good coffee shops.

• 3:20:31Joe Rogan?

  Not anymore.

• 3:20:33Speaker 02

  They're, they're roasted.

• 3:20:34Speaker 05

  I bet they did. They definitely did.

• 3:20:36Joe Rogan?

  Jesus Christ. Off the cuff, off the cuff, you son of a bitch. Uh, yeah, I don't know where this is.

• 3:20:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, where else could you go?

• 3:20:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, where you've done everywhere.

• 3:20:45Joe Rogan?

  I wanna go back to Asia, there's more of Asia.

• 3:20:47Speaker 02

  There's a lot of Philippines.

• 3:20:48Joe Rogan?

  No, I know, I really wanna go to Philippines. Bombshell sexeraxman sued against, who's that guy?

• 3:20:53Speaker 02

  Lorna Hadji.

• 3:20:54Speaker 00

  This is, video has nothing to do with it.

• 3:20:55Joe Rogan?

  JP Morgan branded complete fabrication as John Doe unmasked. What is, what is this, you're showing us?

• 3:21:01Speaker 00

  It's a story we were talking about earlier today.

• 3:21:02Joe Rogan?

  Oh, with the lady? That's the guy who made the story?

• 3:21:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's the guy.

• 3:21:06Speaker 02

  That's the guy?

• 3:21:08Joe Rogan?

  So this is the guy who worked there? I knew it was fabricated dude, I knew. So everything is fabricated, so he was a young guy.

• 3:21:16Speaker 02

  Let me see the guy.

• 3:21:17Joe Rogan?

  So what is this? Hold on, show Lorna again, go down and show the girl, show the lady.

• 3:21:20Speaker 02

  Indian Jared Fogle. Oh, hello.

• 3:21:23Joe Rogan?

  Think of her being like, dude. Not bad, would. But imagine her, she's walking around and everybody thinks that she said those horrible things and talked about her tits like they're cannons.

• 3:21:31Speaker 02

  Cannons.

• 3:21:32Joe Rogan?

  I'm so sorry, you're feeling embarrassed about your bush? I'm not embarrassed. So this guy just made it all up? Yeah, look at it dude, that's a face of a horny man.

• 3:21:41Speaker 02

  Come on, that guy's a virgin.

• 3:21:41Joe Rogan?

  He's got a fucking leno, leno nose. Hmm.

• 3:21:44Speaker 02

  He does.

• 3:21:45Joe Rogan?

  Have you seen this, have you heard about the cannons? Now deleted court papers.

• 3:21:48Speaker 02

  Ah, the cannons.

• 3:21:49Joe Rogan?

  Ah, he fell down a hill. Whoa, even turned up unannounced at Rana's apartment and forced him to have sex. Oh, that was the, that was the, the thing.

• 3:21:58Speaker 02

  That was the lie.

• 3:21:59Joe Rogan?

  It was a lie.

• 3:22:00Speaker 02

  Well, good for her, she's been exonerated.

• 3:22:02Joe Rogan?

  The lady gotta force you to have sex. She categorically denies the allegation, she never engaged in any inappropriate conduct with this individual of any kind and has never been to the loca- location where the alleged sexual assault supposedly took place. It's not sexual assault for a girl.

• 3:22:17Speaker 02

  No.

• 3:22:18Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, what are you forced to? Like, what are we talking about? Come on, just like come on twenty times in a row. You literally can't sexually assault the guy.

• 3:22:24Speaker 02

  I lost my virginity to a hooker when I was sixteen, she was probably fifty, it was the best night of my life, I'm a survivor.

• 3:22:31Joe Rogan?

  Oh man, look at that, they're posting pretty pictures.

• 3:22:34Speaker 02

  What about Winona Ryder, you heard about her on Jamiroquai?

• 3:22:37Joe Rogan?

  What? No, she stayed in Jamiroquai?

• 3:22:39Speaker 02

  No, Jamiroquai and her used to fuck and he said I couldn't keep up with her, she wanted to bang so much.

• 3:22:42Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 3:22:43Speaker 02

  It was like annoying.

• 3:22:44Joe Rogan?

  Jamiroquai's making a comeback.

• 3:22:45Speaker 02

  I'll believe it.

• 3:22:46Joe Rogan?

  He shouldn't have for that story. Yeah.

• 3:22:48Speaker 02

  I know, it's not a good look.

• 3:22:49Joe Rogan?

  He's like, go home, think about it.

• 3:22:51Speaker 02

  He said she had huge tits and it was a problem, they were bigger than they looked, but pull it up JMo, I dreamt up to it.

• 3:22:56Joe Rogan?

  You gotta train for that, you gotta work out, you gotta go, hey, I gotta, I gotta. You gotta be prepared for that level of the game.

• 3:23:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:23:01Speaker 05

  He wasn't ready, the, the lights were too bright.

• 3:23:03Joe Rogan?

  How crazy is that? With Nona Ryder, like, imagine kicking her out of bed, like, you wanna fuck too much. And this is like thirty years ago.

• 3:23:10Speaker 03

  You're sad about it, you're gonna Jamara Cry? Jamie, delete that.

• 3:23:14Speaker 05

  Jamie.

• 3:23:15Joe Rogan?

  Nope, no, keep it in.

• 3:23:17Speaker 05

  It was actually good, but you're just, it's, your likability is the issue.

• 3:23:23Speaker 05

  It's a really good joke, if I said it, we'd all be going, ah!

• 3:23:27Joe Rogan?

  Jerk Cry is such a weird name. What was his big song? He had that one really good song. Virtual insanity.

• 3:23:34Speaker 05

  Sick ass music video where he was dancing.

• 3:23:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he danced a really cool, yeah.

• 3:23:37Speaker 03

  No, Jamara Cry.

• 3:23:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that one. What was the song? Oh, huge mommy milkers is what he said about her tits.

• 3:23:42Speaker 02

  It was a bunch of memes going around, so the story.

• 3:23:44Speaker 03

  No thanks.

• 3:23:45Joe Rogan?

  Are we sure that this is true, though? Did he really say this? There it is.

• 3:23:48Speaker 03

  Mommy, what's a mommy milker?

• 3:23:50Joe Rogan?

  The memes about the shocking viral story.

• 3:23:52Speaker 05

  Look how hot she was.

• 3:23:53Joe Rogan?

  She was very.

• 3:23:55Joe Rogan?

  She was hot and she liked to shoplift. She's your kinda girl, Norman. Oh, yeah, big fan. You guys could shoplift together. Oh, yeah. I'll show her some strange things.

• 3:24:02Speaker 03

  Wow. Her boobs are too big and she wanted to have sex all the, why do they have to cross out sex? What happened to America?

• 3:24:09Joe Rogan?

  It's an algorithm thing. It's just like, things don't get suppressed. I know.

• 3:24:13Speaker 03

  But it's sex.

• 3:24:14Joe Rogan?

  Boobs are too big? Well, it's everything.

• 3:24:15Speaker 02

  What does that mean?

• 3:24:16Joe Rogan?

  You know, in, uh, on TikTok, you can't use a juice box emoji. That's right. People are using it for the Jews. Yes.

• 3:24:23Speaker 03

  But we love juice boxes.

• 3:24:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but it's, they don't.

• 3:24:26Speaker 03

  A free juice box?

• 3:24:27Joe Rogan?

  There's no way to talk crap about Jews.

• 3:24:28Speaker 03

  Free juice box, buddy. Jews are all about that.

• 3:24:30Joe Rogan?

  But now the Jews own TikTok. That's right.

• 3:24:33Speaker 03

  Really?

• 3:24:34Joe Rogan?

  I think. Did it go through? Yeah, what's that guy's name?

• 3:24:36Speaker 03

  But they took it from China and sold it to.

• 3:24:38Joe Rogan?

  They purchased it at a reasonable rate. Allison? Yeah.

• 3:24:42Speaker 03

  Allison's Jewish?

• 3:24:43Joe Rogan?

  You gotta see that face. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Larry Ellison? You see the mug? It looks like his mantle.

• 3:24:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I think, well, it's like, they own TikTok now, and I think they're trying to own. The weather. ABC, the weather. That was that thing true about Iran? That like they they shot down some weather station and all sudden started raining like crazy in Iran?

• 3:25:07Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 3:25:08Joe Rogan?

  But then I read that that's horse shit and that they they experience the same amount of rain every year.

• 3:25:12Speaker 05

  So that's the thing, you can't buy into all those, those are conspiracies created by.

• 3:25:17Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 3:25:18Speaker 05

  You guys are hilarious. They go, you guys are dumb as shit, you'll believe we created the weather.

• 3:25:22Joe Rogan?

  Well, not created the weather, controlled.

• 3:25:24Speaker 05

  Of course, but then you go, but you definitely bombed kids.

• 3:25:28Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 3:25:29Speaker 05

  And that's not a conspiracy. Right. But also.

• 3:25:32Speaker 02

  They bombed everybody.

• 3:25:33Speaker 05

  The US.

• 3:25:34Speaker 00

  According to the Jerusalem Post, it says they were.

• 3:25:36Speaker 05

  Has bombed way more children.

• 3:25:37Speaker 00

  It was stolen rain.

• 3:25:38Speaker 05

  What do you mean? The United States has killed way more children than what you're talking about. Oh, but do you, can we do this, the way you guys, the way you guys did where it was, uh?

• 3:25:47Joe Rogan?

  Look at this story.

• 3:25:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, you guys, I don't know. Well, you, you're going against the US.

• 3:25:51Joe Rogan?

  Shane, look at this story. As fighting escalated and air corridors were restricted, social media posts alleged that cloud seeding aircraft used by the US and its allies had been grounded, causing stolen rains to return.

• 3:26:03Speaker 05

  So we've been stealing rains from Iran for a long time?

• 3:26:06Joe Rogan?

  Wow, look at that.

• 3:26:07Speaker 05

  Jerusalem Post.

• 3:26:08Joe Rogan?

  Look how dope that building is.

• 3:26:09Speaker 02

  Dopey rain.

• 3:26:10Joe Rogan?

  Is that an Iranian building?

• 3:26:12Speaker 05

  Looks like it.

• 3:26:12Joe Rogan?

  That building is dope as fuck.

• 3:26:14Speaker 02

  That in Cleveland.

• 3:26:15Joe Rogan?

  We should make up.

• 3:26:15Speaker 05

  This ain't Texas.

• 3:26:16Joe Rogan?

  Uh, when, when I buy a ranch, when I buy a ranch, we should cause that, make that our podcast studio.

• 3:26:22Speaker 02

  I don't know, don't.

• 3:26:23Joe Rogan?

  Make it look just like that.

• 3:26:25Speaker 05

  I'm not sure you want that. I think AI is gonna detect and blow it up.

• 3:26:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not walking in there.

• 3:26:30Joe Rogan?

  Maybe it says something cool.

• 3:26:32Speaker 05

  Fuck yeah. In Arabic?

• 3:26:34Joe Rogan?

  It says America.

• 3:26:35Speaker 05

  America, fuck yeah, in Arabic.

• 3:26:38Joe Rogan?

  The Arabic writing is dope as fuck, though.

• 3:26:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, it looks cool.

• 3:26:41Joe Rogan?

  It looks pretty slick. They invented writing? Where'd you hear that?

• 3:26:43Speaker 02

  Well, numbers, I should say.

• 3:26:45Speaker 05

  I thought that's gr-.

• 3:26:46Speaker 02

  They came up with numbers.

• 3:26:47Speaker 05

  What did Greek do?

• 3:26:47Joe Rogan?

  We can give them that, but look.

• 3:26:48Speaker 05

  Thanks, guys, what a great episode we had.

• 3:26:50Speaker 02

  We had a good time. Hey, should we get dinner? I'm starving.

• 3:26:54Joe Rogan?

  Fun times, boys.

• 3:26:56Speaker 02

  Ah, jeez.

• 3:26:57Joe Rogan?

  Next one, next one, two months. Let's do two months. Let's keep them regular.

• 3:27:02Speaker 02

  Two months?

• 3:27:03Joe Rogan?

  Come on, we can do that.

• 3:27:03Speaker 02

  That was two months.

• 3:27:04Joe Rogan?

  Come on, we're in May right now. Is it May yet? It's close. It's May 1st. Tomorrow's May. Yeah, today when it comes out, it's May 1st.

• 3:27:12Speaker 02

  Oh, he's got it. Lot of editing for JMo.

• 3:27:14Joe Rogan?

  Well, the end. Not that much. Just the end part.

• 3:27:16Speaker 03

  Speaking of the end, new stories.

• 3:27:18Joe Rogan?

  This is the end.

• 3:27:19Speaker 03

  Available at arishaffir.com right now, starring Shane Gillis and Mark Normand.

• 3:27:21Joe Rogan?

  Available at arishaffir.com. There it is, The End.

• 3:27:25Speaker 03

  Look at all those people. Look how terrible Bob and Kelly look.

• 3:27:27Joe Rogan?

  Mark Normand, look at you, handsome son of a bitch. You look like you belong in that period of time.

• 3:27:30Speaker 02

  I wish. I got a Netflix special out. Check it out. Let's bump it back up and tease the stories we might be drawing.

• 3:27:37Joe Rogan?

  Let's fucking go!

• 3:27:39Speaker 02

  Jews killed Jesus.

• 3:27:40Joe Rogan?

  Uh, Tires, new season. When's new season coming out?

• 3:27:43Speaker 05

  Uh, I don't know if I'm allowed to say. Should be around August.

• 3:27:46Joe Rogan?

  Okay.

• 3:27:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. Hell, yeah.

• 3:27:49Joe Rogan?

  Love you guys.

• 3:27:50Speaker 02

  Hey, comedy!

• 3:27:51Joe Rogan?

  Shout out to everybody out there listening.

• 3:27:53Speaker 02

  The parks are saved.

• 3:27:54Joe Rogan?

  Jihad.