Episode 407: Michael Chernow: How to Build a Lasting Marriage, Break Free from Addiction + Why Morning Routines Matter

What does it take to turn life's darkest moments into stepping stones for success? In this Habits and Hustle episode, I talk with entrepreneur Michael Chernow, founder of Kreatures of Habit, to discuss how structured routines and intentional habits can transform lives. We dive into Michael's journey from addiction to becoming a successful entrepreneur, devoted father, and advocate for healthy living. We also discuss intentional parenting, the power of morning and night routines, and the vital importance of asking for help. Michael Chernow is a transformative figure in entrepreneurship and wellness who turned his life around after battling addiction in his early years, achieving two decades of sobriety through commitment to positive habits and routines. As a restaurateur, he co-founded The Meatball Shop and founded Seamore's in New York City, scaling both concepts to six locations each, while also creating Kreatures of Habit, a lifestyle brand focused on optimized nutrition and apparel. Beyond his business ventures, Chernow is deeply committed to helping others transform their lives through fitness, nutrition, and mindset coaching, hosting The Kreatures of Habit podcast where he explores the daily habits that drive success. What We Discuss: (05:03) Nurturing Marriage Through Routine and Affection (16:15) Nurturing Intimacy Through Communication (25:09) Embracing Fear for Freedom (29:27) Developing Courage Through Commitment (33:57) Transforming Life Through Fitness and Commitment (39:33) Overcoming Addiction and Pursuing Success (42:24) Surviving Childhood Trauma and Abuse (55:57) Exploring Childhood Trauma and Healing (01:07:06) Teaching Values and Parenting Strategies (01:19:14) Morning Routine and Gratitude Practice (01:26:12) The Importance of Asking for Help …and more! Thank you to our sponsors: AquaTru: Get 20% off any purifier at aquatru.com http://aquatru.com with code HUSTLE Therasage: Head over to therasage.com http://therasage.com/ and use code Be Bold for 15% off TruNiagen: Head over to truniagen.com http://truniagen.com/ and use code HUSTLE20 to get $20 off any purchase over $100. Magic Mind: Head over to www http://www/.magicmind.com http://magicmind.com//jen and use code Jen at checkout. BiOptimizers: Want to try Magnesium Breakthrough? Go to https://bioptimizers.com/jennifercohen and use promo code JC10 at checkout to save 10% off your purchase. Timeline Nutrition: Get 10% off your first order at timeline.com/cohen http://timeline.com/cohen Air Doctor: Go to http://airdoctorpro.com/airdoctorpro.com http://airdoctorpro.com/ and use promo code HUSTLE for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Find more from Jen: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Michael Chernow: Website: https://www.michaelchernow.com/ Podcast: Kreatures of Habit https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kreatures-of-habit-podcast/id1497757053 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelchernow

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Hi guys, this is Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it.

• 0:08Jen Cohen?

  Before we dive into today's episode, I first want to thank our sponsor Therasage. Their Trillight panel has become my favorite biohacking thing for healing my body. It's a portable red light panel that I simply cannot live without. I literally bring it with me everywhere I go. And I personally use their red light therapy to help reduce inflammations in places in my body where honestly, I have pain. You can use it on a sore back, stomach cramps, shoulder, ankle. Red light therapy is my go-to. Plus, it also has amazing anti-aging benefits, including reducing signs of fine lines and wrinkles on your face, which I also use it for.

• 0:51Jen Cohen?

  I personally use Therasage Trillight everywhere and all the time. It's small, it's affordable, it's portable, and it's really effective. Head over to therasage.com right now and use code BBOULDS for 15% off. This code will work site-wide. Again, head over to therasage, T-H-E-R-A-S-A-G-E.com and use code BBOULDS for 15% off any of their products.

• 1:31Jen Cohen?

  By the way, this is like take 10 with Michael Chernow, who is my very dear friend. The first time we tried to do this podcast, the lighting was bad and the sound, so we couldn't post it. He thinks I'm like full of hot air, but I, it's actually true.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  All right, let's, not hot air. I would, can I curse on this thing?

• 1:52Jen Cohen?

  I don't know, depends on what you're gonna say.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  Shit, bullshit on that one.

• 1:56Jen Cohen?

  It is not bullshit. If you remember correctly, it was the same guy that did your podcast who filmed that. Remember Mike, my, my normal person was not available?

• 2:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:05Jen Cohen?

  And we had to use that guy that you used on your podcast, who also didn't- Do the the colors well and the color correction was.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  You know, we can point fingers all day here.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  But speaking of, I actually have really been interested in this.

• 2:21Jen Cohen?

  Okay, hold on. I want to put you on video. I'm gonna take a little social media video. What did you say, Michael?

• 2:27Speaker 02

  I've been really interested in this stuff and I don't do caffeine, so anymore, anyway. And so I've got a buddy who was telling me about this that you actually introduced me to.

• 2:37Jen Cohen?

  Who was your buddy? Who was it?

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Gosh, his name is Greg, Greg Link.

• 2:43Jen Cohen?

  Oh, my God, right.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  And so he told me about, he's been like telling me about Magic Mine and now I see it here. So let's see, I mean, I am typically good at this shit, podcast stuff.

• 2:54Jen Cohen?

  Can you shake it? Do you shake it? It's delicious.

• 2:56Speaker 02

  Should I shake it?

• 2:57Jen Cohen?

  Just shake it. This is actually my favorite shot. It's great for your brain focus and being alert. So here we go.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Oh, that is good.

• 3:08Jen Cohen?

  Isn't it good?

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Nice floral citrusy. I like it.

• 3:11Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, it's a good one. It's a good one.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  All right, let's go.

• 3:14Jen Cohen?

  All right, now you're gonna be super sharp.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  I am.

• 3:16Jen Cohen?

  All right, I'm not, but that's besides the point. I've had five of those already today.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 3:22Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, not five, I've had two and I think two is enough, you know, I think having more than two is.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  I just added, that's my second.

• 3:28Jen Cohen?

  Over, over, yeah, but also I'm also drinking coffee and I'm also, because this is my fifth podcast today. Yeah, I don't normally do that many, but I make an exception when you come to town.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  I actually do that every time. I do every single time I shoot podcasts, I line up like four to five. And I feel like for me, for whatever reason, like I feel like I get better and better as it goes by, even though I'm tired. I just feel like my flow is kind of there and I just dig.

• 3:56Jen Cohen?

  I see that. I feel like when you're tired also, your inhibitions are a little bit less. So like you'll say things more freely. You don't give a shit as much.

• 4:05Speaker 02

  You look so fit right now.

• 4:06Jen Cohen?

  I do, right? The second?

• 4:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, you just look fit. You look like strong. You look good.

• 4:11Jen Cohen?

  Like this moment?

• 4:12Speaker 02

  Right now. Man, I noticed that as soon as I saw you, I was like, wow, Jen looks good, fit, strong.

• 4:17Jen Cohen?

  Wow, thank you. You mean when you walked into my house or just right now as I'm sitting in the chair?

• 4:23Speaker 02

  When I walked into the house, I noticed it and not that you aren't normally, but I was like something, I feel something, I feel like she, maybe she's doing something a little different. She looks strong and fit. You just look good.

• 4:35Jen Cohen?

  Thank you.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:36Jen Cohen?

  That's so, coming from you, who is the

• 4:38Speaker 02

  We're playing footsie.

• 4:39Jen Cohen?

  No, are we hitting on each other?

• 4:41Speaker 02

  I compliment her and then she starts playing footsie with me.

• 4:44Jen Cohen?

  If I didn't know any better, no, I'm joking. Coming from you, that's a very big compliment because you know how I feel. Like, Michael, by the way, not to like, make everyone vomit on this podcast because of the compliments back and forth, but Michael really is the fittest person you've ever seen in your life. He has like a 12 pack.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  No.

• 5:03Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, and he has amazing style. And if he was single, I'm telling you, I would be basically throwing you out to every single lady possible because you're so cute. He's very happily married, so back off ladies.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  I just did a post about how important routine is in a marriage.

• 5:21Jen Cohen?

  Really?

• 5:22Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, I just, I just, I think it's so

• 5:24Jen Cohen?

  No, no, I think it is, but saying you just posted that just now?

• 5:26Speaker 02

  Literally a second ago.

• 5:27Jen Cohen?

  Okay, why? Why did you post that?

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Because I've been trying to share a little bit more, like, when I'm thinking about, like, how I can be a value to other people, I'm, I'm thinking through like, things that have like uniquely kind of made me a better person. And I, and routine, everybody hears the word routine and they're like, oh yeah, you know, morning routine. What's my sleep routine? What is my, you know, like, routine is typically like a solo mission, right? Like, this is my routine. Speaking of, there's my wife. However, routine also can apply to relationships, specifically marriage, right? And there's, you know, we have friends that we've talked to, and look, I don't want anybody to feel bad about this.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  I don't know if this is what you do. So anybody listening, don't like, kick yourself in the ass for this, but there are friends of ours that like, just totally split up at night. So, you know, one of them will stay on the couch and watch their show. You know, the other one will go into the bedroom and like, read and watch, or watch their show. And like, someone will fall asleep on the couch, the other one falls asleep in the bed. And in my mind, I'm just like, that is a routine, but it's not a healthy one, right? And so for us, and I think this is probably just because routine has been such a huge part of the foundation of my success and everything, that with my marriage, like, we have like a, like, from six o'clock till lights out, it's a routine. And it's not like robotic, but it's, we do the same thing pretty much every single day when I'm not traveling.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  And I fucking love it.

• 7:00Jen Cohen?

  What's the routine?

• 7:01Speaker 02

  Six o'clock, we have dinner every night, like clockwork.

• 7:04Jen Cohen?

  The family does.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  The whole family sits around the table and has dinner every night. I get home, I pull into my driveway at like 5:55. I do like a little, I know this sounds kind of corny or whatever, people roll their eyes, but I do a little breath work real quick just to like buffer my insane entrepreneurial, like savage thinking head into, oh, wait, no, I'm actually a dad and a husband first. And so I need that sort of little three minutes of like recalibrating. And then I pop into the house at like 5:58 and at six o'clock dinner's ready. And Donna is like an amazing cook. And so we sit down around the table, we all have dinner together every single night. And then after dinner, it's typically like some games with the kids or we just hang out

• 7:48Speaker 02

  until like 7:30, 7:45. And then either Donna will put the kids down or I put the kids down, we go back and forth. And then right when we're done with that, at like 8:15, the two of us cuddle and watch a show and we do that until 9:30 and then we go to bed. And like, it's also the other really important piece of that, that I think is so small, however incredibly significant is touch your partner as often as you can. Like I make it my, I, I, it is something that I'm cognizant of and I do it purposefully because it's important to me. But like when I'm sitting next to my wife, no matter where I am, I've got my hand on

• 8:31Speaker 02

  her leg, I've got my hand on her arm, I've got my hand around, my arm around her, I'm holding her hand, I'm touching her. And it doesn't mean that it's like, it's not like some like, you know, freaky deaky shit. It's like those little things, we're together almost 20 years, we're married 17 years. So like that long, a relationship that long, like you can easily forget that shit. Like that, like, oh yeah, you're just, you have been next to me for the last 17 years. Like touching you doesn't really like register. For me, I want my shit to la- I want my marriage to last forever. I do. And so for me, I'm like, I'm sitting next to her. She's not my friend, even though she's my best friend. She's my, she's my lover. She's my wife.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  I'm gonna touch this woman and like connect that way. And I think that's so important to say. Little tiny thing, you're sitting next to your partner, boom, just hand on. That's it. It connects. There's a connect that connects you two together in like an intimate way. And so we do that. We don't just like watch TV together, like I, we touch each other and then we go to bed. And it's like, that's the routine and it's awesome, you know? And I just shared about that because I think I was listening to a podcast. I was listening to the Jordan Harbinger podcast. He had this divorce lawyer on from New York.

• 9:49Jen Cohen?

  He's coming on my podcast.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  That guy?

• 9:51Jen Cohen?

  James something or another. And Jordan Harbinger, what a weird coincidence. Jordan Harbinger just texted me.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Oh, really? I love that guy's podcast. I listen to his.

• 10:01Jen Cohen?

  I'm gonna tell him you said that. Interestingly enough, that guy, James, is coming on my, Jordan is a very close friend of mine. That James guy, I reached out to him, we're like, he's, we're coordinating it like as we speak.

• 10:13Speaker 02

  Awesome. He, I mean, it was wonderful to hear that guy because, you know, the way he sort of describes this business, relationship, marriage. It would be like if somebody looked at you and said, "Hey, invest in this business. 60% chance it's gonna fail. It could make you feel awesome, but you could lose everything if it doesn't work. But give me all your money." You'd be like, "No." Like, "I'm not gonna do that." You know, like, it doesn't make sense. And that's like how he describes what marriage is, right? It's like, that is the, that is the deal. You literally give up all your money, everything you own,

• 10:55Speaker 02

  and you have faith that this person and you are going to be able to live out the rest of your life without fucking hating each other. And knock on wood, like so far, I, this is the longest. And most successful relationship I've ever had in my life with my wife. And like I have zero interest in it going anywhere. But like listening to that podcast was just like, it was like, it was real, you know? I think the majority of marriages really, really are tough. And I think there's so many different things that go into what make it successful. And if you don't have little taps on the shoulder or reminders, like the one I just did on social, like, hey, you're sitting next to your partner, like you don't, you could just sit there and not touch them.

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Or that little touch could be the difference of like how you feel about that person that day, subconsciously or not, you know? And I really do think that those little things make a big difference in marriage, you know?

• 11:50Jen Cohen?

  This is so great. Number one, I was not expecting you to delve right into that stuff. Like I thought we would talk about this, that, the other thing. But I love that we're talking about this because I think you have a really nice perspective on it and passion around it. And I think this is very helpful for people. Because the truth of the matter is like, it's been in my, in my vortex a lot, like relationships, marriage. What makes a successful relationship? What makes a successful marriage? And it's really hard. And so most of them, like the lawyer said, they fail. Especially in places where we are. I live in LA, obviously. You live in New York, but you don't live in New York properly.

• 12:33Jen Cohen?

  You don't live in Manhattan, you live in the outskirts, right?

• 12:36Speaker 02

  I live, I live further than, I'm like out of New York now.

• 12:40Jen Cohen?

  And I think, I think if you, you need to be very, not you, everybody, we have to be very cognizant and in like, and intentional of how you have a relationship, just as you would of how you want your career to go. And I think you're right, people do end up like forgetting or prioritizing and taking for granted because it's just available and it's done, right? Like the goal is, oh, let's get married and have a kid. Okay, well, then you have that and it's like, okay, you don't date your partner anymore. Dating becomes very frivolous, like you don't do it anymore. You do it before you get, get married, right? And so they always say like, you have to like, don't freak, like you still need to date your partner,

• 13:23Jen Cohen?

  even when you get married, even more important, right? So can you give me a couple other things that you do routine wise to kind of keep the fire and keep the marriage intact?

• 13:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:35Jen Cohen?

  Because that's a really smart one, the hand situation, the connecting thing or like hugging or touching, because you're right, like I think people one sits on one side of the couch and the other sits on the other.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 13:46Jen Cohen?

  And then you go to bed.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Right. Yeah, I think, I mean, the, the, the elephant in the room, right? Like long term relationships, it's no surprise that like the sex is not nearly as intense as it was for the first two to five years, right? Specifically, the first two years.

• 14:05Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  You know, like you're like, you're just ferocious and, and wanted like, wanted all the time.

• 14:10Jen Cohen?

  I mean, sometimes, I mean, yeah, but you're right. Exactly.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 14:13Jen Cohen?

  It does die out.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  If there's, if there is a, if there is a sexual chemistry between the two of you, there's like, and, and, and there is between Donna and I, you know, however, like anything, you know, once you get used to something, it's, it's, it's hard to keep it exciting. It's hard to just be like, I can't wait.

• 14:33Jen Cohen?

  Totally.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  But a few things, one, I will say for us, communication is just even, even more important than routine. Communication is paramount. And that doesn't mean like, yes, it means telling your partner you love them, blah, blah. I'm talking about the shit that is hard to talk about. I'm talking about like, there are people that go months and months in a relationship long term that, that are not having sex and just don't ever talk about it, ever. It's just like, and they both know that, that like, this isn't good, like we should be having sex, but like, once you, I think, once you get out of it, because I've been there, there has been times where Donna and I have had to check each other and be like,

• 15:16Speaker 02

  hey, like, it's been like six weeks since we've had sex and we gotta go.

• 15:20Jen Cohen?

  You gotta go.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. And that also isn't like amazing, right? Where you're like, we gotta do this just because we know it's the right thing to do. But when you get into the routine of it, so now, you know, not so now, I mean, we've been pretty good about it, but. A like, you gotta talk about it if it's not going down. Like, and if you're waiting for your partner to say something because you feel uncomfortable, like, that's a cue to be like, okay, I got it. I gotta talk about this. And so similarly, for other situations that are just uncomfortable for you. Like, if, for instance, we were just on vacation for two and a half weeks. And, you know, when you're on vacation with someone with kids, you're with, you're 24/7 together. And it can get, it can get tough, right?

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Like, there, there are going to be moments where like, she gets ticked off at me, I get ticked off at her. We're together, there's no running, there's no escape. So you just gotta go and battle, right? And there was a couple of those, and I think that's also healthy. But I think, like, when you feel something in your gut or your sternum or your chest that is making you just like uncomfortable about your partner, whether it's something that they're doing that's annoying, whether they say something that you don't like, it's important for me, speak for me, to just voice it like right then and there. And I know going into it, I'm like, hey dude, this is a 50/50 chance where like, you are either gonna get into a fight that's not gonna be fun, or you're gonna be able to somehow just like talk through this. But dude, if you hold this back,

• 16:50Speaker 02

  there's a good chance that it's gonna explode in three days and no one's gonna wanna be around you, specifically the family. So I'm very cognizant about being, I call it like upfront, in-your-face communication. Because it's just like, it's not fun, it's like extreme close-up shit. You just gotta do it, you have to do it. And I think it's so important. But going back to the sex piece, you know, I think having sex is so important. And it's not about like, like if your relationship is built around your sex life, long-term, you're fucked, in my opinion, right? Like, it can't be that, like, it's gotta be way more than that. Yep. But understanding what time of day, especially when there's kids involved, young kids,

• 17:32Speaker 02

  like, you have to be, you have to just like get it when you can. But I also think that like, if you guys can figure out, and, and again, this, this requires conversation and communication, figure out what time of day works best to have sex, and then boom. You gotta commit to once a week at minimum, right? I think.

• 17:49Jen Cohen?

  Is that what you guys do? You have like a time of day?

• 17:51Speaker 02

  No, we don't. We don't schedule it or anything like that. But like, I wake up mega early. I just do. And it and and it's and it's kind of great because the kids also wake up mega early. But I choose one day every like one day a week when I wake up early and I'm just like.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  You know? And nine out of 10 times I get the green light and that and that's it. And it's and it's awesome. And it's we laugh about it, you know, because like that's. But I think.

• 18:21Jen Cohen?

  What did you wake up in the morning now?

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Like 5:15. It's kind of like when I'm when I always wake up, 5:15.

• 18:27Jen Cohen?

  Okay. Kids wake up early, though, too.

• 18:29Speaker 02

  Our kids wake up now at like 6:30. So but I still, again, like back to the routine piece, like my morning routine is super important to me. And it's not like I don't hold myself to like this crazy thing anymore necessarily. Like I used to have this really long, drawn out thing, specifically in COVID, to like keep me from going absolutely crazy. Like I built this like crazy structured thing. And I still, when I when I want to do it, I do it. And when I don't, I don't. Sometimes I'll work out now. Sometimes I'll do the Sonic Cold Plunge red light thing. Sometimes I'll just do prayers and and pushups, you know? But like morning, having a some sort of a a plan in the morning for me that gets me going, that like fires up my engine is super important.

• 19:09Jen Cohen?

  So wait, let's just stick with the relationship and then I want to get to the routine. Because the routine is a really good piece of like your routine. I love it. And so I don't want to like, I don't want to like, kind of just like go, you know, pass by it. It's like, that's a whole other section of this podcast, in my opinion. So then you're saying if you have sex at least once a week, even if it's like routine, like you just said, like beep beep beep. You you feel that that at least keeps you in a connecting place and it's very, very important. Is that your is that your takeaway?

• 19:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I think the takeaway is basically being in a relationship with a person that you would consider your life partner, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever you call it.

• 19:52Speaker 02

  Being in that, in a relationship like that and not having sex after a certain period of time, which is very common, adds another layer of guilt, shame and discomfort. Right? Even if you don't, like, it just does. You know, if someone, like, if you're-

• 20:09Jen Cohen?

  Cause you know it's something's wrong.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  You know something's wrong.

• 20:12Jen Cohen?

  And you're not talking about it.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  You know something's wrong.

• 20:14Jen Cohen?

  It's like the elephant in the room.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  Right. And also, like, you know, and, and, and by the way, like, it's very common. Right? Like, when you have a conversation with a friend, you're sitting with a girlfriend, I'm sitting with some of the guys, or whatever it is, and you're, you know, you're talking about your, your, the conversation has gone from, you know, totally superficial to like, a little bit more substantial. And you're talking about it, and if one of those guys or one of those friends of yours is like, "Yeah, like, we're just not having sex much." Like, no one's like, "Yeah, we're not having sex much, it's awesome."

• 20:42Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  They're like, "Man, we're just, this, it's just not happening. Like, I don't know." You know? You can change that. It takes commitment, but I can honestly say that when that is happening, there's just a feel, a different feeling amongst the two. And I've, I've, that's, that's, I've found that to be incredibly true for me. And, um, you know, it's just like, you're like, "No, we are doing that." You know? We're in a long-term relationship and we are still having sex regularly.

• 21:12Jen Cohen?

  And you're taking the initiative. I think that what you said earlier was actually another thing that we should highlight, right? Which is, when you get in a rut where you don't do it, you know the importance of what it means if you don't, like, where that, where that rabbit hole takes you, not to good places, like, more of a disconnect. So, you're, even though, if it may feel forced, it's still for the better good of the relationship.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 21:35Jen Cohen?

  Because I believe it, I believe you, and I agree with you, like, anything can become a routine. Like, once you start doing something all the time, that's your routine. Once you stop doing something, that becomes your routine.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:47Jen Cohen?

  So, it's pick your routine, pick the thing that you're gonna do, cause once you stop, then that's, it's, it's very easy just to kinda go down that path.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  I will also say that, like, I think the topic of talking about long-term relationships and sex is like, a real thing, because it is, it is pretty controversial, right? Like, people struggle with it, because a lot of people fall into the category of like, being in a long-term relationship and like, not having sex.

• 22:11Jen Cohen?

  And there is shame around it.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 22:14Jen Cohen?

  And people don't want to talk about it.

• 22:15Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 22:16Jen Cohen?

  So they they're lonely and they are like it breeds more loneliness.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, and also I and I look, I'm also like no, you know, marriage counselor.

• 22:27Jen Cohen?

  Are you sure about that? It seems like you are.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  That's another thing you can add to my list.

• 22:30Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, Michael has like a million things he's like a professional expert on. Maybe you should become like a like a licensed therapist.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  Well, I think I think that I just feel like because I'm sober, right?

• 22:44Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  I see everything through a clear lens all the time. And the and I've also learned through the work I've done on myself that like the stuff that hurts the most or that is the most uncomfortable tends to be the things that provide also the the most gratitude and the most reward. So like going through the things that are super difficult and challenging tend to ultimately deliver the greatest gifts, you know? And like that's that has been depicted over and over and over again in my life. Where it's like, man, like, and that's and and I'm also a glutton for it. You know, like you sign I sign up for some ridiculous fitness challenge.

• 23:26Jen Cohen?

  I saw that. What was it called again? That one that you did that I was supposed to maybe do with?

• 23:29Speaker 02

  The High Rocks is great. I'm doing I'm doing one again in Dallas.

• 23:33Jen Cohen?

  I want to do it with you.

• 23:34Speaker 02

  It's so great. It's so great. You should do it.

• 23:36Jen Cohen?

  Can I train for it now?

• 23:38Speaker 02

  Oh, of course. Yeah, of course. You're already in great shape, so you for you to do it, the only thing that you would have to pick up is probably your running.

• 23:44Jen Cohen?

  Why? How much running is there?

• 23:45Speaker 02

  It's a lot of running.

• 23:46Jen Cohen?

  How much running? I run already.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  It's a eight K, so it's an eight K.

• 23:51Jen Cohen?

  Four miles?

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it's it's not about it's it's it's different. It's like running thousand meter spurts. So you basically run a thousand meters and then you do a thousand meter row. You run a thousand meters and you do a thousand meter skier. You run a thousand meters, you do burpy burpy bra jumps. You run a thousand meters, you do farmer's carries. You run a thousand meters, you push a sled. You run it. So it's a lot of shit and it's basically running a thousand meters after fully exerting your body on some. Other exercise. So it's awesome though. I love it. But I guess going back to the point where like for me, what I've just learned is that like my greatest learnings in life have all come out of and on the other side of

• 24:36Speaker 02

  challenge and difficulty and adversity and fear, you know, everything. And so I think like I know walking into a conversation that I that I feel like I need to have with my wife is never comfortable. It's like if I feel like it's not, if it's something that she's doing, that's frustrating for me, you know, or, or if I could tell that I'm doing something that's pissing her off and she doesn't immediately bring it up to me, I will broach the conversation and most of the time I'm correct. But like, I just know that, you know, the other side of fear is freedom, period. Like that's just the truth. It just is. There is just everything that you are afraid of. When you are able to face it, walk through it,

• 25:18Speaker 02

  experience what that feels like on the other side of it, you just feel a sense of like you feel light.

• 25:25Jen Cohen?

  So why is everyone so afraid to face their fear if on the other side is freedom? Because the truth is, you're right. Like whenever I've been the most fearful and I've done that thing, I felt so much better. I felt like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. And we all know that because we've all been in a place where we had to kind of confront something at some point. But yet that's not enough to make us continue to face the fear. We'll do anything possible and everything possible to not face any kind of adversity or fear.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  I think what it boils down to is, and this is kind of what I've distilled it down to from my life. And I've failed so many times at this, but commitment over time develops confidence. And confidence over time develops courage. It's the three Cs.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  Anything great requires courage. And typically greatness comes out of overcoming fear. Right? Like, people write about people that, you know, win wars, shit like that.

• 26:28Jen Cohen?

  Mm hmm.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  Right? And so I think where it starts is like the commitment component of life.

• 26:37Jen Cohen?

  Start that again. So commitment.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  Commitment breeds confidence.

• 26:41Jen Cohen?

  Can you give me an example? What do you mean by commitment? I always think that the three Cs for me are a little bit different. I think competence, you know, breeds competence.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you can't be competent without experience. So like commitment is.

• 26:56Jen Cohen?

  Like commitment's more like your commitment to, to whatever that thing is.

• 27:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, but that, that develops competence in that thing. Right? So like, as an example, when I was coming out of the dark place in addiction. Right? And I, I was, I had zero self-confidence, zero ability to do anything but run for the fucking hills. Cause that's what I did. That was my life for 11 years. I just was like, dial it in. I'm done. Feel good. I want to feel better. Feel bad. I want to feel better. Feel anything. I don't want to feel.

• 27:29Jen Cohen?

  Mm hmm.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  And so I got really good at being a Houdini and just like poof, like disappearing in plain sight, you know? And so when I was coming out of that, I got introduced to a couple of guys who like just showed up and just like winged me. And told me about and introduced me to fitness for the first time in my life, really. And they said, there's two things, there's three things you gotta do. And we can't like force you to do it or make you do it. But like, if you can do these three things, the chances of your life growing in a really positive way are strong. And if you can't do these three things, we can't like guarantee you anything, right?

• 28:13Speaker 02

  But they basically said, if you can commit to moving your body fitness wise, eating well, and connecting with the sober community, like nothing else should matter in your life. Those are the three things. You gotta commit to those three things. So like, we're gonna write. This plan for you, it's gonna be, and I'll, I mean, I can tell you the plan, but the plan was basically, these guys were like, you want to wake you, we want you to wake up as early as you can in the morning. As soon as you wake up, you roll out of bed and right onto, right onto the, to the floor and, and, and ask God for help. And, and get on your knees and ask God for help. Take a piss, wash your face, brush your teeth, put on a pair of sneakers, go outside and take a walk. That could be a five, five minute walk, that could be a five mile walk, that could be a run, that could be a jog. Whatever you want to do, but move your body.

• 28:58Speaker 02

  When you're done with that, come back in and eat a bowl of oatmeal. That's kind of where my business now has come from. Start with something nutritious, satiating, healthy, easy, accessible. Oatmeal costs nothing, you can add whatever you want to it. When you're done with that, go to a sober community, community meeting, fucking tell them who you are and why you're there. Right when you're done with that, meet us down at the gym. And these guys told me this gym to go to is a Muay Thai gym. And they said, we're gonna teach you how to, uh, how to be a man, really, is what they, what they said. But they were just like, we're gonna come and we're gonna train with you here and we're gonna kick your fucking ass. And, um, and they taught me about so much there, you know, mentally, physically, spiritually. And then they said, right after you get out of here, you're gonna have a, you're gonna go to the deli on the corner. You're gonna get chicken and broccoli.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  You're gonna go and take a nap, you're gonna go to work, you're gonna have chicken and broccoli again for dinner. And you're gonna go to bed as early as you can. And right before you go to bed, you're gonna drop on your knees, you're gonna say thank you and go to sleep. And then rinse and repeat. That was it. That's what those guys taught me. So I learned there that if I can just commit to that, like the commitment to the fitness and the nutrition piece, developed confidence for me. And then once I started doing that consistently, like that is what changed my life. That is 100%, I am absolutely confident. I have, I have complete confidence in the fact that fitness and nutrition changed the course, the trajectory of my life. Period. And if there's anybody out there who's thinking about like, oh, you know, I just need that thing.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  I need that relationship, I need that job, I need that fucking, that raise, I need this, like, I'm feeling lost, I'm feeling directionless. Like, all I'll tell you is this, if you're not moving your body and you're not eating well in a healthy way. You should immediately start doing that because that is going to give you far more confidence, far more strength, far more ability to feel like you're in control of your life than the car, the bump and raise, the fucking relationship, the whatever. All that shit will come once you're a confident courageous person, but you gotta get right with the commitment. You know?

• 31:05Jen Cohen?

  That's great. And I'm going to clip that because that was a really beautiful soliloquy. And I think it's, this is why you and I click because I wholeheartedly believe that to be a hundred percent true. You can transform your life if you take control of your life by actually through fitness, through nutrition, because physically being, becoming physically strong makes you mentally tough and makes you mentally strong. And that becomes a vicious cycle. And the more mentally, mentally strong you are, that breeds confidence, right? Because you feel and know that you have the capacity and you are capable of doing hard things, which of course then helps you with another building block of confidence.

• 31:46Jen Cohen?

  And all these other little pieces fall into place because you know yourself that you're competent, capable, confident, do hard things. And I, I think that did change the trajectory of my life a hundred thousand percent. And so people are focusing on the wrong things. They're focusing on like that guy calling them or that girl not calling them back. And like all this ancillary superficial bullshit, that means nothing in terms of like actual happiness or, or satisfaction or fulfillment. Because you can't get there unless you have the first part taken care of.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. And in my opinion, it just really does start with one thing.

• 32:23Jen Cohen?

  And that's why when you say commitment, I understand now because you made the commitment to go through the fit, that fitness regiment, that nutrition regiment. Like you were so committed that that's what drove you to the next, the next C.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. And by the way, like it sucks for everyone in the beginning.

• 32:44Jen Cohen?

  Everybody.

• 32:45Speaker 02

  Every person that walks into that.

• 32:47Jen Cohen?

  Situation.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, it sucks for everyone. So if you're sitting there thinking, oh, man, like, yeah, like, like, it's easy for them to say.

• 32:55Jen Cohen?

  Mm hmm.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  It wasn't easy when I started, you know?

• 32:59Jen Cohen?

  It wasn't easy for anybody when they start.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:01Jen Cohen?

  The next question people are going to say though is, well, how long? How long does it take where it becomes an such a habitual thing where if you don't do it, it feels weird?

• 33:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I my sort of answer to that is, is like, if you thought about everything you're in your life as how long, you'd never do anything. So I kind of see, I kind of see it. And obviously, this was taught to me in like along my sobriety journey, but like, I really do look at life as a day because that's all I got. Yesterday's long gone. It's long gone. There's not a human in history that's ever been able to go back and change what happened yesterday. And tomorrow, I mean, I say this kind of like as a cliche, but it's true, right? Like tomorrow is not guaranteed. So you the whole like, I'll start Monday.

• 33:50Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 33:50Speaker 02

  I'll start tomorrow is just a cop out and it's and it's a fearful response to like the the situation at hand. So I kind of look at my life as a day, like I've got today to show up and man, like 85% of the time I win and winning doesn't mean winning the fucking competition. Winning the race means I just showed up and did what I had to I gave what I had to gave to give. And 15% of the time, I'm like, fuck it. I'm gonna like totally just do whatever the fuck I want to do today and I'm cool with that. And so I kind of live my life that way. But I do believe that like, if you think about everything is like, oh, how long? Like if I thought about business, right? I've been in business as an entrepreneur

• 34:34Speaker 02

  since I'm 28 and I'm 43. So whatever that is, you know, 15 years I've been opening businesses. And at 28, if I was like, man, you know, even in 15 years later, I'm not going to be where I see myself being like, it's going to take 25 years. If I, you know, if that was like. My plan at twenty eight to be like, yeah, twenty five years, you know, I'll be all right. Like, no one's, no one's putting in, no one's, no one's investing in a twenty five year long, like, plan, like, opportunity. Everybody's like, no, I want, I want that shit now.

• 35:08Jen Cohen?

  Yep, totally true. I love when people give analogies like that because it's, it puts things in such a great perspective, right? And I think that is so true. And then how did you evolve your stuff? Because, okay, so you were obviously, you've been sober for a bit. I can't even believe that you were ever a drug addict. It's like so insane to me, knowing how you live your life now. It's like beyond. How were you able to be a drug addict and become such a, like, expert? Let me just give people a little bit because I teased Michael a bunch because he's like a musician, like, like a Juilliard trained.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  Not anymore.

• 35:42Jen Cohen?

  Okay, whatever. He's a Juilliard trained.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  LaGuardia High School, different, not Juilliard.

• 35:46Jen Cohen?

  Whatever, close enough, fame. We always say, he went to like the school, he went to like Fame.

• 35:51Speaker 02

  I went to the Fame High School.

• 35:52Jen Cohen?

  The Fame High School. And what was the instrument that you played?

• 35:54Speaker 02

  I played the tuba and the bass.

• 35:56Jen Cohen?

  The tuba and the bass. He's also a chef, like a real one. He had like, he was a restaurateur. He owned like a bunch of restaurants in New York City. He owned a place called The Meatball Shop, wrote a, actually a cookbook called The Meatball.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  The Meatball Shop Cookbook.

• 36:09Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, Meatball Shop, okay.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  Then opened up Seymour's.

• 36:11Jen Cohen?

  And opened up Seymour's, which I went to with you. It was very good. What else? So you're a chef, a musician, entrepreneur, a fitness phenom. What else?

• 36:21Speaker 02

  Well, now I have creatures of habit, which is like my, my main shtick.

• 36:25Jen Cohen?

  Well, that's, but you're an entrepreneur. So basically now he.

• 36:28Speaker 02

  Podcast host. Had a TV show for a few years.

• 36:31Jen Cohen?

  You don't need talent for being a podcast host. Have you seen the kind of people that are out there, you know, like me? No, right. You also had a TV show, a travel food show. You're just good at a lot of things. Let's just put it that way.

• 36:44Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 36:45Jen Cohen?

  You're, you're welcome. This is your like playing humble. Thanks.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  No, I mean, I, yeah, thank you. I used to, I, you know, it's funny. I think we had this conversation. It, for years, people would like, you know, what, I'd do something and people, someone around me would say, oh, man, you're, you know, this is a great thing, or this, congratulations. And I'd be like, oh, stop it, you know? Now I just say, thanks. Like, I take it.

• 37:09Jen Cohen?

  You take it.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  Fucking, good, I take it.

• 37:11Jen Cohen?

  Be good because you earned it.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:12Jen Cohen?

  Right? You earned it.

• 37:20Jen Cohen?

  I want to take a quick break from this episode to thank our sponsor Timeline Nutrition. We all know that being our most successful self requires us to be our healthiest selves. And this is why taking control of aging is one of my main priorities. One thing I'm focusing on to reverse aging is supplementing with Mitopure from Timeline Nutrition. Mitopure is the first product to offer a precise dose of Urolithin A to support mitophagy and increase cellular energy. So why is mitophagy important? Well, our mitochondria becomes damaged and dysfunctional over time, leading to the production of harmful byproducts and the disruption of normal cellular function.

• 38:01Jen Cohen?

  Mitophagy helps in maintaining healthy mitochondria by eliminating these damaged ones, allowing for the proper functioning of cells and overall cellular health. One way to think of Mitopure is that they are like little Pacman in your cells, chomping up the damaged mitochondria that makes you feel old and tired, and then recycling it into new, healthy ones. Taking two soft gels a day for two months, you can actually see significant improvements in your cellular energy, muscle strength, and endurance. And after four months of taking Mitopure, you'll feel yourself getting stronger, recovering faster after a workout, and experience way less inflammation. And it's all part of healthier aging routine.

• 38:43Jen Cohen?

  So Timeline is offering a 10% off your first order of Mitopure. Go to timeline.com/Cohen to try it out now. That's Timeline, T-I-M-E-L-I-N-E dot com slash Cohen.

• 39:08Jen Cohen?

  So how were you able to even be a drug? How did you have the time to be a drug addict and be so talented and so exceptional at the same time?

• 39:20Speaker 02

  It wasn't at the same time.

• 39:21Jen Cohen?

  So tell me the trajectory.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  I started using drugs when I was 12, right? And I just stopped when I was 23. So from 12 to 23, I worked in restaurants the whole time. I learned a lot.

• 39:33Jen Cohen?

  When you were 12, you started it?

• 39:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, so I started super young.

• 39:38Jen Cohen?

  What was, what was the drug that you got addicted to at 12?

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Well, in sixth, the summer between sixth and seventh grade was the first time I smoked pot. And before that, I was already sort of like started, I was smoking cigarettes with friends. I mean, I also grew up in New York City. I grew up in a really fucking hard home, you know? My, my family situation was not awesome. And so for me, like, you know, I have been an escape artist, basically, my, you know, for those years. I was just like, when I was a little kid, I never slept at home. I always tried to sleep over at my friends' houses.

• 40:14Jen Cohen?

  Why? Just to be away from the craziness?

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, look, my mom was, my mom loved me and I can feel that my mom loved me. But my mom was also abused by my father. And my father was not only like mentally ill, but he was severely physically sick. I mean, he was a juvenile diabetic. He had heart disease. He had had multiple heart attacks. And he was just a miserable person and totally took his pain out on his family. And so for me, like, there was a lot of dysfunction, a lot, a lot, a lot. And, you know, I'm, I'm now reading this great book called The Body Keeps The Score. And it's just so, it's hard for me to read the book because I'm like, oh my God, like that, that explains this and that explains that.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Like, I'm learning a lot about myself through reading this book. But stuff that I knew, but now, now having it broken down sort of like scientifically, I'm like, geez, this shit is real. But so at 12 years old was like finally the time where I, you know, I had already felt like I was kind of, I was a bad kid. You know, I turned into this kind of rebellious bad kid. And at that point, my father and I, I was no longer just like, like if he would like get physical with me. I used to run away or like cower or you know, kind of like let him do his thing because he was my father and I was scared. At 12 years old is when I started just like fighting back. And so now I kind of like became a man in my house.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Where if my father would try to swing on me, or if I knew he was going to, I would hit him first or something like that. And um, yeah, it was just, you know, I don't regret it. Honestly, I pro- I mean, I probably wouldn't change it. Because I do believe that it has kind of sculpted the way I see life today. But it did lead me for sure to want to escape and that escape was awesome in drugs. And I think that they've saved my life for probably the first five or six years. Cause chances are the way I was feeling about myself and I had already like attempted suicide in a cry for help at that age. I definitely didn't want to die, but like it's kind of scary for me to think about me like doing that.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  And if I hadn't have found, if I hadn't found drugs and alcohol at that young age, there's a chance that I probably would have killed myself because I was like really unhappy. But so I found him and I fa- I fell in love with him. I fell in love with him and, and um, I moved out of my parents' house at 15. And I just kind of like was off to the races and I always had a job in a restaurant or a nightclub. I stayed in high school, I graduated high school, but I also sold a lot of drugs. And quite frankly, like I learned a lot about entrepreneurship through that business, you know, as a kid and.

• 43:00Jen Cohen?

  What did you learn? What was the number one?

• 43:02Speaker 02

  Relationship development. I was, I was not a scary guy. I was not a tough guy. Until the end, really when I got started to get really angry. But I was the guy that like everybody was like down to do business with. Because from a young age, I knew that I had to have people, I had to, I had to intentionally make people like me. And that was from a kid. Like if I wanted to sleep over at my friends' houses, I knew that their parents needed to like me. And so I, I would intentionally go out of my way for that to happen. And so I parlayed that into just relationship development in my life. And I learned how to like read a room, read a person.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Kind of chameleon myself for a situation. You put me at the White House, I'm good. You put me in Watts, I'm good. Like, I will figure out and make friends wherever I go. And I think that's what made me a great hospitality guy. But now ultimately, I know, I don't think. Like, I used to be, when I first started, when I launched the meatball shop, I was so insecure about my ability to navigate financial statements and P and Ls. I fucking hated it. I had zero interest in it. I was not good at it. Like, my brain does not think that way. And I was so insecure about it because I thought that that was like so important to know. And come to find out, like, I can hire anybody to do that. Like, I can't hire me. I can't, I can't like put a job description out there that says,

• 44:28Speaker 02

  "Hey, I'm looking for a great relationship development person. I'm looking for a great emotionally intelligent person to join my team."

• 44:35Jen Cohen?

  Who can read a room exceptionally well and pick up on nuance and cues, body language. You can't hire for that, yeah.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  And, and also like, "Hey, I'm looking for like a really like, I'm looking, I'm looking for a visionary. Is there anybody out there? How do you interview for that?

• 44:50Jen Cohen?

  So true. I always say to you, you're so likeable. And you know, this makes perfect sense because you trained and you even in, like, unintentionally became, like, trained yourself to be very likeable out of survival.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, that was like, I mean, I didn't, I didn't know that that's what I was doing then. But now, when I look back on it, I really, you know, I really honed my craft from those days. And, you know, it got me into a lot of trouble as a young kid with a pedophile, right? Like, I was like trying to figure out, like, I wanted a father to love me. I really, really wanted that love from a man, you know, as a young kid.

• 45:29Jen Cohen?

  Can you talk about that? Because I don't, people.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, sure. I mean, I, you know, I was as, when I was probably third, fourth, third and fourth grade, second, third and fourth grade, maybe, my parents, my father was not involved in my life at all. So he was just like, never participated in anything, you know? And he was on permanent disability, so like, but he just like locked himself in, in a corner of our, like, apartment. He was a whore. Order. We had a little tiny apartment and so he just like I like it was like very rare I saw or communicated with him outside of fighting. And my mom was a was full time secretary. So they put me in after school programs because that's what you do, right?

• 46:10Speaker 02

  And so I was in this after school program. I was in the Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, the sports teams as a kid. I was I was always sort of like a natural athlete. And so I kind of excelled at sports as a young kid, but the coach of the of the of the sports program and he was also the Cub Scout leader was a pedophile. He was a I loved him. I like loved him. I did. He was like my dad. He was like he treated me like a son. He took me fishing. But there was like a like a crew of kids that he groomed, but he would take us fishing. He'd take us to like arcade, you know, all these things. And then, you know, we would sleep at his house and and luckily, I mean, knock on wood, like I I I don't recall rape

• 46:54Speaker 02

  or anything like that, but there was a lot of touching and a lot of like just not great shit in the shower, putting shampoo all over all of us, like touching our bodies. So it sucked. If there's one thing that I would love to have had been different is that. But, you know, it's another experience that I had, right? It's another experience that I had that I can now talk about and make someone else who's gone through that feel comfortable or a little bit more comfortable with their situation because I'm totally at turns with it, you know, like.

• 47:25Jen Cohen?

  So he never he touched you in the shower?

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 47:28Jen Cohen?

  But but never he never raped you or did?

• 47:31Speaker 02

  I don't I you know, I like I don't recall that. I don't recall that.

• 47:36Jen Cohen?

  Do you think you might be repressing it? I just don't know about it?

• 47:38Speaker 02

  I've thought about that, you know, maybe. I mean, the guy did get arrested and put in jail for for child pornography and pedophilia. So I would imagine that he did that with people, but I just maybe I did disassociate. I I don't know. I all I could say is right now from my from memory, it was like in the shower, he would wash us and and rub us down. And then we would sleep over at his house in his bed. I mean, I remember being at his house alone in his bed. He would ask me to like rub his thighs and like do shit like that. That's obviously you don't do with a fucking nine year old kid.

• 48:11Jen Cohen?

  Right.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  You know, like I look at my nine year old son, you know.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  I mean, I would murder somebody. I would, I would legitimately, and I'm a very sane dude, but I'm also a dude you don't want to fuck with. And I would kill someone if they did that to my son. Kill him. Murder. And, and maybe I get in trouble for saying that, but that's how I feel about it. Because it did fuck me up. You know, it, there's, there's things that, that, that are still, that I still kind of like, I don't walk around feeling, you know, like ashamed of what happened. But when I, when I, when I realized that that had happened to me at like 16, oh my God, like incredible shame. Like, did I want that? Am I gay? Did that, did I like that? Oh,

• 48:59Speaker 02

  my God, like, was that my fault? Like, did I ask for that? Like, I just didn't know. I was totally, you know, scary. Like, you know, scary to go through that as a teenager. But, you know.

• 49:12Jen Cohen?

  How did you process it? And how come after it happened, did you just not think about it for four or five years? Or?

• 49:19Speaker 02

  I just didn't really associate it with anything that was wrong. You know, I was, I was young. I mean, this guy was like a father figure, you know, like, as if anything, like, I, I loved the guy. And when I, when I, you know, when he stopped wanting to do those things with me, not, not like the molestation part, but like, take me fishing, or, you know, take us to the arcade. Like, he was on to the younger kids. Because we were getting a little, probably to the age where maybe we would start to realize things. And I was like, why did he stop wanting to hang out with me? That was, that was the only thing that I was, I'd be like, what happened to Dan? Like, I'd be like, you know, and?

• 49:54Jen Cohen?

  You know, it's so interesting. Sean T. Do you know who Sean T. is? So he came on this podcast, he's a friend of mine as well. And we did a whole podcast on this because he was talking really deeply about his, how he was molested, right? Badly. I mean, and not like none of them is, all of it's bad. But like, for many, many years, to the, to the worst degree. And he remembers, and he talked about the fact that like, when he was molested and the gun- Guy stopped molesting, the pedophile stopped molesting him. He was so upset and he cried and he was so sad because he felt like he like felt like he kind of like became, he was in love with him.

• 50:38Jen Cohen?

  Because he felt like he's been now abandoned by him. Like, how can this guy not want me anymore? Why does he not want to hang out with me? Why does he not want to do this with me? Like, it like the child and now what you just said to me just gave me goosebumps. Because like the kid internalizes it, right? Like, you feel like you've been replaced or you're not good enough. Like, that's the mindfuck that happens. Because you become, you feel like they don't like you anymore.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Totally. But that is the cyclical thing that they do as these pedophiles, right? Like, they, they, they know the age where the awareness becomes like risky.

• 51:14Jen Cohen?

  Horrible, horrible.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  But one in four men are, are molested. One in four. And, you know, I am now part of a class action lawsuit against the Boy Scouts of America. Because I was at home with my wife, like, in the pandemic, like, three years ago. And we're watching something on TV. And a commercial shows up about the Boy Scouts of America and molestation. And it, it, it is rampant, rampant, rampant. And there's the class action lawsuit, the Boy Scouts are filing bankruptcy. And if you were molested by the Boy Scouts of America, it is your duty to be a part of this class action. And I looked over at Donna and I was like, she's like, you have to call right now. And so I called and I spoke to the lawyer and found out eighty two thousand men at the time.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  At that time, this is three years ago, eighty two thousand men in the United States of America have come forward. That's probably a small percentage of the amount of men that have been molested in the Boy Scouts of America or Cub Scouts. But that's a real fucking number, right? Like, you gotta think about that.

• 52:15Jen Cohen?

  Just in the Boy Scouts?

• 52:16Speaker 02

  Just in the Boy Scouts. Just in the Boy Scouts. At that time, three years ago, eighty two thousand men. Come forward to hopefully put these motherfuckers out of business. So this this is stopped. Because when you think about it, it's a hot bed. It's a hot bed for pedophiles because it's all volunteer, right? And, you know, it's so.

• 52:39Jen Cohen?

  It's all volunteer. Go on. It's all young boys.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  It's all volunteer. It's all young boys. It's all outside and kids are scared. It's like like in the woods camping, kids are scared. So the Cub Scout Boy Scout leader can be like, oh, come sleep in my tent. You're scared. Oh, come sleep in my tent. Come sleep in my sleeping bag. It's cold. That's what happens. That's what happened to me, too.

• 53:02Jen Cohen?

  Also, and I don't know if this is a fact or not, I have no idea. You may know. Who joins the Boy Scouts of America? Is it usually kids who have broken homes? Who are looking for like some type of community? Is it everybody across the board? I don't know much about.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  So I don't, I don't, I can't make a generalization that way. I would say that it's actually like, you know, it's like, it's been around for like over a hundred years. It's like the American way. You know what I mean?

• 53:31Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  It's supposed to be this wonderful thing where kids come together, they learn about survival and wilderness. They camp out, they cook their own food, they learn about boating and kayaks and tying knots and, you know, building shelters and doing really fun, cool things. But it's been completely exploited by the the pedophiles of the of the world, right? And so, you know, a lot of the kids that would go into a group like that that have a broken home, it's very easy for the pedophiles to pick them out and groom them because they're looking for leadership. Fatherhood is leadership, right? Like being a father to a son or a daughter, at the end of the day,

• 54:14Speaker 02

  is love and leadership. And like if it if if there's someone there and they're getting the exact opposite, that child is going to want the love and leadership like like in a in a in a very intense way, you know? And that was me. Like I wanted so badly. To get like my dad to like, give me a big hug and tell me I'm awesome and like, wanna go throw a football with me. Never happened, you know? And so I found it in other dudes, like at that young age. And some of them were great and mentors in like, the most positive way. And this one guy was, took total advantage of it, you know?

• 54:54Speaker 02

  So, I don't even know how we got onto that topic, but you know, the like that, I, I, I share about it freely. Because I know there are so many men out there that it's happened to, that are just bottling it up. And not, like, I shared about it, I don't know, maybe it was on Rich's, Rich Roll's podcast. And I had like, two friends that listened to the podcast from my childhood, that called me up and said, I've never told this to anyone. But Dan also molested me.

• 55:25Jen Cohen?

  Wow.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. And like, you know, changed my friend's life, like, for him to just be able to share that. He never told anyone, ever. Never said it to a word. He's been holding that in for fucking forty, whatever it's been, thirty-five years. Thirty-five years, never shared it, never said it to anybody.

• 55:43Jen Cohen?

  Did he share how it's affected him?

• 55:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:47Jen Cohen?

  What did he say?

• 55:48Speaker 02

  The what he said also has affected me in a similar, like, I've had a similar response, like, if, if, you know, not anymore, cuz I'm married, I've been married a long time. But before I got married, if there was ever a female that I was engaging in sexual conduct with, that was way too aggressive, or like, super aggressive. I would, I would like, back off. Like, I needed to be the one to initiate that. Because if I felt like that person was like, coming in hard, it wasn't comfortable for me. Like, I would, I would like, I didn't like that. And he shared that. And I had never put those two things together. That like, if there was a girl who was just like, super into it, and like, ready to go, and like, on me, I didn't like it. I was like, it was kinda like a, like,

• 56:30Jen Cohen?

  Turnoff.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  Made me feel uncomfortable.

• 56:32Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 56:33Speaker 02

  And he shared that, and I was like, oh my gosh. I remember feeling the same way.

• 56:38Jen Cohen?

  Is he married?

• 56:40Speaker 02

  No, no, but you know, he's been in long term relationships. It's he, you know, that there's definitely what I think molestation for young children does is create a massive gap in the ability and the understanding of intimacy. Because your first introduction to like a romantic intimate situation was so fucking ass backwards. It's just not supposed to happen like that, right? And so it distorts and like changes like, kind of like the neural pathways and the, and the feelings and the emotions that you're supposed to develop with in those situations when some man is touching you

• 57:25Speaker 02

  in like a totally inappropriate way, you know?

• 57:29Jen Cohen?

  But then interestingly enough, look at you, right? Even with those situations, you went on to have a very healthy, stable relationship. Right? Same with Sean T, right? He's in a very healthy, stable relationship. I mean, there's always anomalies, right? But it seems to me that it's for the people who've processed it. Like your friend never processed anything.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe, you know, but I also think that, you know, the amount of work someone is willing to do on themselves is always going to overshadow the amount of trauma they've experienced. And so if you're not willing to do the work, the trauma is gonna just fucking hang that cloud over you all the time.

• 58:13Jen Cohen?

  Totally.

• 58:14Speaker 02

  The amount of commitment you're willing to put into doing the work, looking at life and trying to figure out some things. If that outweighs like the effects that the trauma has on you, not that it's gonna go away, not that it doesn't exist, not that it's, you know, but like the amount of work that I have done through the 12 steps and therapy and just like, like humility in my life, I think has overshadowed and, and beaten back the trauma shit.

• 58:46Jen Cohen?

  That's such a good point. How have you then, like, how do you parent? Like, how do you show up for your kids as a leadership? Like you said, fatherhood is like being a leader. So what do you do as a parent with your own children to show leadership?

• 59:01Speaker 02

  So it's a great question, and this is an area that I like because of my role is as sort of, I mean, very comfortable saying this, but it might be controversial for others. Like, my role is the provider. I am the provider at the family right now, right? And because of that, I, I have to travel. I have to, you know, there are times where like I'm sitting at the dinner table and I'm still working, you know, where I'm not a hundred percent there. So this one area is something that I have to be hyper aware of, and I am, but I don't always succeed.

• 59:40Speaker 02

  That said, consistency is and commitment to the consistency, in my opinion, is still going to win over like not having structure and routine. So every night that I'm at home, whether I'm fucking there mentally or not, six o'clock, we have dinner. I'm putting the kids down every other night. It's just is what it is. On the weekends, I do not work. I am full family all the time. I do my best to spend some alone time with each of my sons. And typically that looks like with Dakota, it's either working out with him in the gym or it's going fishing. And with Finley, it is whatever really he wants to do.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  Dakota is a little bit more like, I know he's younger and I know what he likes. So like with Finn, I'm just like, hey dude, what do you want to do, you know? But I-

• 1:00:33Jen Cohen?

  What does he want to do?

• 1:00:35Speaker 02

  He's a, he's a very creative kid and he's also blessed with like, he's just, he's kind of similar to me when I was a kid. Like I was like kind of blessed with some athletic genes that it was just like natural. Like the kid picks up a baseball bat, boom, he just knows how to swing it. Fucking throws a football, he just knows how to throw it.

• 1:00:54Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  His body like fast and he's just, he's like, if you looked at him, like, the dude is just, he's got it. He's lucky. He's really lucky because of just like- Who he is, but that said, he prefers doing creative shit. So for him, it might be, hey dad, let's like, do like a really cool drawing or a cool painting, or let's go out and like, you know, build something outside, build some fun, cool thing, you know? But the majority of the time on the weekends, it's like the family doing shit together. And, um, and then at night, when I put the kids down, you know, we have something that I've been doing with them since they're born. And it's called the thirteen things. I don't know if I've ever shared this. Have I shared this with you?

• 1:01:38Jen Cohen?

  I love it.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  So every night that I put him down, um, I have a routine with them. Surprise, surprise.

• 1:01:45Jen Cohen?

  Yeah. Shocking creatures of habit. Habits and hustle. Why we're friends, I don't know.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  But I do think like having a routine, you know, with the kids, with my sons is like, is super important for them. And I think they crave it and they love it.

• 1:02:00Jen Cohen?

  What is it? Tell us.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  So, so, so the, you know, whatever, we go upstairs typically they've, we've pushed their bedtime back a little bit now. So it's now it's at seven thirty. We go upstairs, they brush their teeth.

• 1:02:10Jen Cohen?

  Seven thirty?

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:11Jen Cohen?

  How old are the kids? Nine and what?

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  Nine and six. What is that early for you?

• 1:02:16Jen Cohen?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you know, that's what they, that's what we do. They like, they get 10 hours of sleep a night.

• 1:02:21Jen Cohen?

  That's great. God, I'll, I'll send my kids to you. Okay, go ahead.

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  So we go upstairs, brush the teeth, go into the bedroom and then we typically read, we're into chapter books now, so we're reading some book. And then after we read, they go up into their beds and, um, I say, hey guys, you know, you can be anything you want to be when you grow up, as long as you do it for yourself and nobody else. And, um, and I said, what's it gonna take? And they say courage. And I say, what is courage? And they say, being scared and doing it anyway. And then, um, I, uh, I say, all right, give me the thirteen. And one of them will do it, or the other one will do it. Or sometimes they do it kind of back to back, but we've been building this thirteen things. And in my mind, these are values that are small, that are really big, that I think have helped shape my life, that actually a lot of them I learned from my father.

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  So like my father, even though it was like a really tough relationship, he did give me these values that I do believe are integral to my like success. And it has a lot to do with chivalry. My father was like insane about chivalry. Like that was like something that his father was very passionate about. So. So anyway, so we so the thirteen things are always protect your brother. Ladies always go first, squeeze in eyes, which means when you give someone a handshake, you squeeze their hand and you make eye contact. Uh, so always protect your brother. Ladies always go first, squeeze in eyes, remember people's names. Big one for me, always trying to remember people's names.

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  When you go to the bathroom, lift up the toilet seat and when you're done, put the toilet seat down and wash your hands. Look to the left before you cross the road, look to the right before you cross the road. And that's like it like that for me is like, yes, if they're young, like I want them to do that. But that's just like an analogy for life. Like if you're not aware, you might get hit. So look to the left on the road, look to the right on the road. Always be kind to mommy when daddy's away. Kindness always wins. Always have courage. Whenever you leave a camp counselor, a teacher, a mom or dad, tell them you're stepping away and I love you. And so those are the thirteen things that we say every night. And they really don't know exactly what all of those things mean yet.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  But you better believe that those kids like pick up the toilet seat before they pee. They put the toilet seat down when they're done. They're always kind to mommy when daddy's away. We make sure that they protect each other. You know, they are not a hundred percent on the ladies always go first thing yet, but they'll get there. You know, because that's a big one for me. Anyway, it's just, it's something that we do. And um, and then right after they do that, I say, boys, you know, I love you more than anything in the world. And uh, you know, they go to bed and these guys are real mommas, boys. I think I was too. They love their mom dearly. Um, and and I, and you know, they love me too. I know that for sure. But.

• 1:05:20Speaker 02

  I know that they that they are, they feel, they know I got their back no matter what. And and that makes me feel good. And when they get a little older, you know, like, there's gonna be more, I think. The the relationships are gonna are gonna develop more. But yeah, I think leadership is consistency with them, you know, like, I think also. And it's hard, but like, letting them on that they, you know, you can't always want your kids to like you. You know, and I think that's a tough one, too, like, for a lot of parents, new parents, you know, we're like, it's hard to just, like, threatening kids is the worst thing you can do.

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  If you do that again, we're we're leaving, like, we don't do that.

• 1:06:07Jen Cohen?

  What do you do instead?

• 1:06:08Speaker 02

  Take leave, you know, like, I'm I, if they're if they're doing something that they know they shouldn't be doing, the last thing I want to do is like threaten my kids and be like the boy that cried wolf with my children, right? Like, don't threaten, oh, you know, if you don't, if you do that again, no dessert. It's like, you just you just lost it, dude, no dessert, sorry, sorry, tomorrow you can have dessert, today, no. Come on, what do you mean? This is what it is, man, you gotta learn, you know, it's just what it is. So like, you can also like, fall into the trap of like, all right, we don't do that.

• 1:06:42Jen Cohen?

  Because you don't care if the kids, you're not trying to make your kids be your best friend and like you at that moment. You're trying to teach them a more important valuable lesson for life.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  I am trying, I am, I am the father and my wife is the mother. By the way, like, I hope to God that we're best friends, my my sons. But you're nine, I'm your dad, I'm trying to teach you something. I don't really care in this situation, if you think I'm the best in the world. I want you to, like, understand that life is tough at times, and you have to take responsibility for your actions. And so if you're constantly trying to make them feel good, they're gonna get away with everything, and then they're gonna grow up all fucked up, you know?

• 1:07:29Jen Cohen?

  Totally agree with you 100%. It's very, very hard though, right? Because everyone wants to, parents want to fix things. They want to soothe you, but you're not, you're developing soft children when you do that.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  Well, my, you know, so this is one area where my wife and I just don't see eye to eye. And it's been, it is a thing between us. And so there are some things in our marriage where like, I will, we'll just agree to disagree. But like, if my sons start crying for, like, I got no problem with you crying. By all means, something bad happens, you're sad about something, cry, I'm gonna hug you, I'm gonna love you. But you cry because you don't get what you want? I'm not consoling you. I'm sorry. Like, that's not a reason to cry. I know you're, you're, you're trying to manipulate me is what you're doing. And if I like, go over there and give you a hug, I've just like, boom, granted you success. You just won that one, my son. Like, no.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  You, you are running and you trip. And I know that didn't hurt, but you want me to, like, if, if there is a single cry sound out of my kids, my wife is typically like, right there. Oh, and I'm just not that way. And she hates that. She hates that, like, you know? And I think there's definitely like, literature about, that might not be the greatest approach with kids. Like, if they're crying, they're like, they're looking for consolment. If that's a word, they're looking to be consoled. But I'm, I'm kind of like, I got nothing wrong with crying. But if you cry because, if you cry for the wrong reasons, I'm not going to co-sign that shit.

• 1:09:09Jen Cohen?

  Yeah. I think that there is literature actually on what you think and what you say. I'm on, I'm on team Michael for that. I am, because I think, there's one thing, if you're crying because you're like, you, you got hurt or something like that, but just if you're crying because you're trying to manipulate or you didn't get what you want, what are you teaching your children? If they make, if they cause a tantrum, you're like, they should just get what they want at all given, at all times? Like, like, childhood is a It should be a microcosm for what happens outside. People don't live in a vacuum, right? And I think that what's happening now is that kids are really becoming soft and they don't have any coping mechanisms because of the parents helicoptering around them

• 1:09:54Jen Cohen?

  and coddling them with every cry. Now, I'm not saying, to your point, that if a kid is crying because they're actually like hurt, you don't console them, you don't support them, you don't help, but you you don't like comfort them. That's the word you're looking, comfort them. But it's a different thing altogether if they're just crying because they're not getting what they want.

• 1:10:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I agree.

• 1:10:16Jen Cohen?

  You're just you're just enabling bad behavior that way.

• 1:10:19Speaker 02

  I also think just another another form of leadership in parenting is like, you can't expect your kids to want to do everything you do. You just can't, especially if it's hard. But exposing them on a consistent basis to what you know is makes you great.

• 1:10:37Jen Cohen?

  Yep, yep.

• 1:10:38Speaker 02

  In your life, like, my kids don't want to work out with me every day, but they know dad works out every day because they see it.

• 1:10:44Jen Cohen?

  Well, you're modeling it. Kids learn better through visual modeling versus words. I just had the I just had that woman on, I told you, who was a leading psychologist for children. She was saying that fewer words, more modeling. Like, kids learn through through watching way more than through listening.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, they they see me work out. They see me work hard. They see me meditate in the sauna. They see me go into fucking cold water all the time and think it's like hilarious. But I expose them to all this stuff, you know, because and they also see me come home for dinner every single night at six o'clock, you know? And so I do think that that that plays deeply into leadership, right? Like, my father used to say shit like this to me. Do what I say, not what I do. And in my opinion, that's just like, that's like.

• 1:11:42Jen Cohen?

  The opposite.

• 1:11:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, whoever who is going to want to listen to someone who says that? Do what I say, not what I do. Like fuck you, right? Like you're trying to teach a young, like a, like a kid coming up, stepping into puberty. Do what I say, not what I do. Like, no, be a man and do what you want other people to do. Don't say what you want other people to do, in my opinion, you know? And so I think my kids sort of see that, you know?

• 1:12:06Jen Cohen?

  For sure they do. Okay, let's, let's end this with your routine because we didn't get to it. Remember I said there's a whole section about your actual routine? Let's talk about your routine and wrap it.

• 1:12:17Speaker 02

  So I've got, I've got a few different routines now that I, that I do in the morning. Uh, I've got my ideal, like all the bells and whistles, got all my shit. I'm in my groove routine. Um, and then I've got like my no matter what, no, like non-negotiable routine. And recently I've actually started to flip a few things around because I haven't worked out first thing in the morning in a long ass time. But when I got back from Europe, I was like, let me beat this jet lag. I'm just gonna get up and like do my prayers, my pushups and go right into the gym to start working out. And I've actually really kind of loved that. So I might start throwing that back into the mix a little bit. But my kind of long drawn out sort of morning routine that starts at 5:15 and finishes at 6:30 in the morning is basically this.

• 1:13:00Speaker 02

  I wake up and one thing that I've been doing for a number of years now is super cheesy, but really, really helpful for me is smile. So I wake up in the morning, I fucking smile first thing. I throw back my eye mask, I look up at the ceiling and I smile shit eating grin ear to ear. And I go like right into gratitude. And that gratitude is basically like, I'm grateful for my wife sleeping next to me. I'm grateful for the house we live in. I'm grateful for my health. I'm grateful for my sobriety. I'm grateful I woke up. I'm grateful for my kids and the dogs. I'm grateful for my truck. I do like, I don't know, seven or eight things, 15 seconds. And I'm just like, boom, kick my day off with gratitude. I get out of bed, I walk into the bathroom, I take a piss, I wash my face and, um, and I used to weigh myself when I was competing in bodybuilding. I don't do that anymore.

• 1:13:44Speaker 02

  And then I go downstairs to the guest bathroom because that's when I start making some noise and my wife fucking hates if I do it in the, in the main bathroom that early. But I do, I pray. So I have a prayer practice that I, um, that I've been doing for almost 20 years. Are twenty years now. I'm sober twenty years. So I've been doing this prayer practice every single morning for a long time. And then right after I pray, I do fifty pushups. And right after I do fifty pushups, I do my stretches and that's like a five minute down dog, up dog, uh, cat cow thing. Just to get the blood flowing, pushups, prayers, uh, prayers, pushups and poses, I call it. And then I'll go um into the guest bedroom and that's where I have my red light panel.

• 1:14:24Speaker 02

  And so I'll do meditating at the red light panel when I do do that for about twenty minutes, fifteen minutes. And then I walk back out to the kitchen. I get a large jug of water with some electrolytes and some supplements that I put into the water. I've been loving these, these like this liposomal. Do you know that this liposomal? You know anything about liposomal supplements? You gotta check out Roh Nutrition. You just gotta check these guys out. They're it's it's amazing stuff.

• 1:14:50Jen Cohen?

  What is it?

• 1:14:51Speaker 02

  So it's liquid supplements and I take curcumin and rosveratrol. I take NAD plus and I take uh glutathione.

• 1:15:01Jen Cohen?

  I love glutathione. I take tru niagen for NAD. That's the best one, I think. And it's a precursor. So it kind of tells your body to make it itself.

• 1:15:09Speaker 02

  But the but so I've I've just been using this stuff. So I just do the liquid liposomal supplements and and um and then I I I also throw some shilajee in there and I shake it up.

• 1:15:20Jen Cohen?

  That's a good one. I like that.

• 1:15:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's a great.

• 1:15:23Jen Cohen?

  Well, you send me all that. Last time you were supposed to send me a recipe. Do you remember?

• 1:15:27Speaker 02

  What, my morning?

• 1:15:28Jen Cohen?

  No, some pancake, but that's okay.

• 1:15:31Speaker 02

  No, you made those pancakes.

• 1:15:32Jen Cohen?

  Different pancake, different pancake.

• 1:15:34Speaker 02

  So so I do this. I I I have this stuff, this this company called Mana. It's like the it's the best shilajee basically ever. And and I put that in, I shake it up. And then I make my way out to the sauna and I go out to the sauna and that's where I do my reading. So I read for like twenty to thirty minutes in the sauna. And then I, you know, about twenty five minutes in is the negotiation period with whether or not I'm gonna go into the cold plunge. But I always go. I go into the cold plunge for about three minutes. I walk out, take a peek in the mirror. Stay chill now. Today's a good day. You're a good man. Go get it. And uh, and then I go out to the kitchen and that's when my kids and my wife are there.

• 1:16:13Jen Cohen?

  Love it.

• 1:16:14Speaker 02

  And so like, that's sort of like the morning routine that I did for a long ass time. And I honestly, like, it's a lot of shit, but the truth of the matter is, is like, when I am doing that consistently, I am at my A game. I just am. I'm at my A game. And in the beginning of the summer, it was hard because it was a lot of traveling. So it kind of threw me off. But I was totally cool with doing my non-negotiables, which is basically piss, uh, wash my face, pushups, prayers and poses and like my meal one. Um, and that like, but, but you know, I, I think that there is a, a level of flexibility. We should all give ourselves with a morning routine. However, I do think there, it is, it is super important to have one.

• 1:16:59Speaker 02

  Like, structure in the morning, in my opinion, is just important.

• 1:17:03Jen Cohen?

  I, I totally agree.

• 1:17:04Speaker 02

  Like, if you don't have any direct, like, if you wake up every day and you do something different, right? Like, you know, and for anybody listening, I don't make my bed every single morning because my wife is still sleeping. But like, at the hotel, fucking make my bed right away. Like, it just feels good. Like, I, I like get up, I like roll out of bed, I turn around, I fucking make the bed. And having even the smallest thing, right? Like, I have a company called Creatures of Habit. We make this high protein overnight oatmeal. Those guys 20 years ago told me to have oatmeal every morning. It made me feel good. I'm not saying that oatmeal is gonna change your life, but it started me on the path of like, making better decisions nutritionally.

• 1:17:41Jen Cohen?

  It's a, it was a gateway drug for you.

• 1:17:43Speaker 02

  It was a gateway drug.

• 1:17:44Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, I totally agree. And it kept you on point. These are things that keep you on point. Why I like routine is because it keeps you on point to make better decisions later on in the day.

• 1:17:52Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 1:17:52Jen Cohen?

  That's what it's for.

• 1:17:53Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 1:17:54Jen Cohen?

  We gotta wrap this, cause it's been like forever.

• 1:17:56Speaker 02

  And you're falling asleep.

• 1:17:57Jen Cohen?

  No, I'm not falling asleep. I actually really enjoyed this. I thought you were really interesting. And I really love, you gave some really tactile, actionable information and I really did.

• 1:18:09Speaker 02

  So you mean, you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna actually?

• 1:18:11Jen Cohen?

  I'm gonna post this one.

• 1:18:12Speaker 02

  You are?

• 1:18:13Jen Cohen?

  I am. I am gonna upload this. One, not today, but I will. And I think you've come a long way, actually. I think I'm glad. I'm glad that the other one didn't work out because I think you were much better on this podcast.

• 1:18:27Speaker 02

  You do?

• 1:18:27Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, you were like, you were succinct. And there was some really, really great takeaways. I love the parenting stuff. I love the relationship stuff. I love the routine, of course.

• 1:18:42Speaker 02

  I just think I just want to finish with one thing. I think that if there's anything anybody should take away from this is this idea that like, the one thing that I do think helped me most in my life is help. And I think not enough people talk about that. And so if there's one thing you could take away, you know, the commitment stuff is important, the commitment, confidence, courage, like, that's a great one. But help was the one thing that actually changed my life. And so I would just say, when in doubt, fucking ask for it. Just ask for it. Don't be afraid. Don't be too prideful. Don't like, help is the key to every successful venture ever taken in life by anyone. It's just help because guess what? You're not going to do it alone. No one does.

• 1:19:24Jen Cohen?

  No one does anything alone. There's no such thing as a self-made man. It takes a village. I love that. Ask for help. That's the best takeaway.

• 1:19:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:34Jen Cohen?

  This is why I like you so much. Isn't he so likeable, everybody? He's so like, you're so likeable.

• 1:19:40Speaker 02

  Thanks. If you like me that much, buy my fucking oatmeal.

• 1:19:43Jen Cohen?

  Yeah, that's true. Try his oatmeal. It's very high in proteins, very stupid. How many superfoods are in that thing?

• 1:19:49Speaker 02

  A bunch. It's got chia, flax, pumpkin seeds, pink Himalayan salt, D3, omega 3s, probiotic, digestive enzymes, vegan. It's good.

• 1:19:57Jen Cohen?

  It's good. And there's a hundred thousand flavors of it, too. Not a hundred thousand, but a lot. Michael, you're amazing. Also, check him out on Instagram.

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  At Michael Chernow, easy.

• 1:20:06Jen Cohen?

  Easy. Okay, bye. Love you. I love you. Bye.