Giggling about hamptons sleepovers, adoption, and adrenaline

We learned a lot about each other this weekend and we have a special announcement. Special thanks to Dunkin' for making this episode possible. #sponsoredbydunkin watch our youtube series sign up for our newsletter get merch

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  This podcast is supported by Planned Parenthood Federation of America. You know that one friend who's always there and actually does the thing they say they'll do? This is that, but healthcare. At Planned Parenthood Health Centers, providers, staff, and volunteers still show up even under relentless attacks every day to make sure patients can get the care they need. They'll keep showing up no matter what, and now they're asking you to join them. Make a gift of any size at PlannedParenthood.org/defend. This season, celebrate with the ones you know by heart with a gift that says it all. Because the best gifts don't just look beautiful, they mean something too. When someone gives you a gift and you just know they really know you, there's no describing that feeling, and it's one of the best feelings ever.

• 0:45Paige DeSorbo?

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• 1:05Speaker 01

  At Lowe's, this Veterans Day and every day, military members, veterans, and their spouses get automatic MyLowe's Rewards Silver Status Benefits. Plus, 10% off eligible purchases with no annual limit. It's one way we honor and give back to those who have served and still do. Learn more and verify now at Lowe's.com/military. 10% discount can't be combined with another offer. Exclusions, terms, and conditions apply. Loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. Details at Lowe's.com/TERMS. Subject to change.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  Sup, gigglers? Jerry, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 1:49Hannah Berner?

  What's up, my Great Gatsby gigglers? We had one weekend in Long Island that wasn't filmed for television, and we're new people now.

• 2:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, I'm laughing because we just recorded the, the intro and then I, and then I realized I wasn't in fact recording, which is the main part of doing a podcast. And prior to that, I forgot my microphone, which is also another main point of doing a podcast.

• 2:14Hannah Berner?

  But you know what? At least we're here and we're trying.

• 2:17Paige DeSorbo?

  And we're thriving.

• 2:18Hannah Berner?

  We're trying our best. The, the one thing, I know you guys know we love a theme. This last weekend, Paige comes to visit. And by the way, her and you and Dez haven't like spent multiple days back to back together.

• 2:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, we've never vacationed together.

• 2:34Hannah Berner?

  The Scorpios were Scorpio-ing. My favorite part of the night was, we weren't sure what to do and Dez goes, can we just sit and talk maybe?

• 2:45Hannah Berner?

  And Paige goes, actually?

• 2:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Actually, yeah.

• 2:49Hannah Berner?

  Actually, that's exactly what I want to do.

• 2:51Paige DeSorbo?

  That was actually so sweet when he said that. Cause it was like, can't we just like get to know each other? Can't we just? My line of the weekend was actually said by Hannah Lucy Burner. I'm like, you know what I'm gonna say? And it was Paige's thirst for knowledge cannot be quenched.

• 3:15Hannah Berner?

  So the funny thing is, is we're hanging out all day, you know, we're, you think you're gonna run out of material. Something about Paige is she doesn't care who you're talking about. If there is a story to be said, she is.

• 3:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm seated.

• 3:29Hannah Berner?

  She's seated. She'll be like, but why did his cousin say that to her?

• 3:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, if my friend is telling me a part of their life and I'm not directly correlated or into it, that has nothing, that has no bearing on my listening skills.

• 3:46Hannah Berner?

  Some would argue drama's more fun when you're not involved because you have no skin in the game.

• 3:51Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's what I love.

• 3:52Hannah Berner?

  And it's funny because Dez would talk about something random and you'd be like, wait, we're gonna need backtrack. And why would she do that to him? And your thirst for knowledge is unquenchable.

• 4:02Paige DeSorbo?

  And I feel like there are times where I was like, let's deep dive into her parents. Let's take, let's take a moment and see why she acts the way she acts. And maybe it's not her fault.

• 4:15Hannah Berner?

  I also would like bring up different topics throughout the day. Whenever I'd say something, you'd be like, oh, yes, we're gonna have to dive in. I'm like, there's not one thing that you don't find a way to talk about. And maybe that's why we have a podcast.

• 4:27Paige DeSorbo?

  And wait, here's another thing.

• 4:31Paige DeSorbo?

  We recycled the same stories over the past seven years of our friendship. So if you thought we were just doing new information, it was

• 4:39Hannah Berner?

  The classics.

• 4:41Paige DeSorbo?

  We obviously brought back the classics.

• 4:44Hannah Berner?

  You gotta play the classics. Also, we were in a new, like, we were in a new background, a new backdrop. So like, we had to see how the story holds up.

• 4:55Paige DeSorbo?

  And nature over nurture, sometimes you're in the wild, something in front of you reminds you of something, and you're like, and I forgot to tell you.

• 5:04Hannah Berner?

  Also, sometimes when you're in a different environment, you might have a different perspective on the same story. And it might just bring a new, um, yeah, perspective in life. And that's, and we're open to all different ways of approaching a story. Um, cuz we're journalists, cuz we're journalists.

• 5:17Paige DeSorbo?

  There was one time, I don't even know what we were talking about. And Dez goes, Paige doesn't want to know that. And you look at him and you go, actually, she does.

• 5:27Hannah Berner?

  Her thirst for knowledge is unquenchable.

• 5:32Hannah Berner?

  Oh, but then also, I felt like you had to do, this is so married couple of me and Dez. Like, I forget, but like, e- every time I tell a story, he interrupts, being like, no, that's not what happened. But then if I tell him to tell the story, he says, no, you tell the story. And that's, and that's marriage.

• 5:51Paige DeSorbo?

  There is a lot of cat-mouse with you guys. No pun intended.

• 5:56Hannah Berner?

  Well, so what's your opinion of our marriage after being with us for 48 hours? I have to say, we keep each other on each other's toes. It's like, are they flirting? Are they fighting? Are they flirting? Are they fighting? Are they flirting? Also, this is what marriage is, and I nailed it this weekend. It's asking the other person where they put the scissors.

• 6:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 6:15Hannah Berner?

  No one fucking knows.

• 6:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No one knows. You want to know what's funny about you and Dez is you don't want to step on each other's toes, but you want the other one to have like the No, you tell the story or like, like you guys, you guys need to communicate more. You don't know who's getting the drinks, who's getting the forks, who's telling the story. There's a lot of admin that you guys haven't figured out.

• 6:39Hannah Berner?

  Well, you know why? We do not have traditional gender roles in this household.

• 6:44Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you don't. And that's what it is.

• 6:46Hannah Berner?

  It's chaos. It is chaos in these streets. We don't know who's doing laundry. We don't know who's speaking first. We don't know who's sitting at the head of the table, but that's what keeps it spicy.

• 6:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes people say this as like, um, when their relationship is like, oh, we've turned into roommates. I want to take back that saying, okay? Because in the best way possible, you and Dez are roommates. In terms of like, sometimes you're doing the dishes. Sometimes he's taking out the trash, but at any given moment, you could be lugging that trash and he could be washing the dishes. Like you guys really do live together as like two individual people.

• 7:29Hannah Berner?

  I think it's because when we got together, we both were such individual people that we just were like, but we mesh well.

• 7:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And I think that's what it is.

• 7:40Hannah Berner?

  There's no structure.

• 7:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you guys, no, you guys need a chart with stickers. You need to know what's happening.

• 7:48Hannah Berner?

  I've thought about it, but this is why we're not divorced yet is because if one of us happens to get upset about something like, hey, why is, are your socks like all over the bathroom floor? Then he'll just be like, well, why is your makeup all in the sink? And then I said, and that, and we're moving on. We're even.

• 8:08Paige DeSorbo?

  And you can't.

• 8:09Hannah Berner?

  We're keeping score. We're not keeping score. We're tied.

• 8:12Paige DeSorbo?

  You can't attack for something when you're doing the same thing.

• 8:14Hannah Berner?

  Exactly, exactly. It is so funny when you come into someone's home

• 8:20Hannah Berner?

  and see like the functions, but I also feel like when someone visits your house.

• 8:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:24Hannah Berner?

  Let's be honest, you're playing life. Like it's a virtual reality.

• 8:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Everyone's an actor. We're all paid actors.

• 8:33Hannah Berner?

  What would I, should I be doing when people are at my house around this time?

• 8:37Paige DeSorbo?

  You should have seen me picking out a travel outfit. I'm like, what does someone wear? Who's like not going to the Hamptons for like the showiness, just going to like hang with a friend.

• 8:48Hannah Berner?

  No, I literally, when people come to my house, I'm like, what do you do it around this time of day trying to pretend?

• 8:57Hannah Berner?

  Like multiple times, I'm like, this is when I typically would go in a tic tac toe. But I'm trying to pretend that I'm like loving life.

• 9:05Paige DeSorbo?

  There was a moment where Dez looked at us and goes, I'm gonna go for a nap now.

• 9:11Hannah Berner?

  That's why he's my king.

• 9:13Paige DeSorbo?

  We were like, you know what? Yeah, you deserve it. And we yapped for another three hours.

• 9:18Hannah Berner?

  Dez disappeared for a good two hours and like more power to him.

• 9:21Paige DeSorbo?

  He deserved that time off, though.

• 9:23Hannah Berner?

  He deserved it. But I do want to say kudos to you. You are such a good guest. Paige came, first of all, with a new Daphne tee, the Hannah tee.

• 9:33Hannah Berner?

  Because my other one got stained up, so she gave me a navy one and I was like, that's why you're my best friend. She designed it for me. She designed a shirt literally for her best friend.

• 9:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I literally did. I was like, Hannah needs more t-shirts.

• 9:48Hannah Berner?

  So that was great. Then you made a pasta salad that really came in handy all weekend.

• 9:54Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I was so proud of that pasta salad. And here's what I did. You know what's hard to do is think of something to bring to someone's home? Especially when it's like,

• 10:07Paige DeSorbo?

  like you don't eat anything. Like, you know, like, and we see each other all the time. So it's not like, oh my God, I haven't seen her in so long. I have to get her like, a really nice candle set or like whatever. So I was like, what am I bringing to Hannah's? But like, it's not like super intense. So I know you love green. So I got this really pretty green bowl. And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna make a pasta salad, put it in the bowl. And that's the gift. Like she keeps the bowl, we eat the pasta salad. See ya.

• 10:35Hannah Berner?

  And this is what I love about Italians. Only Italians could figure out a way to make salad unhealthy.

• 10:42Hannah Berner?

  They're like, you know, we go with this pasta.

• 10:44Paige DeSorbo?

  There's a lot of vegetables in there.

• 10:45Hannah Berner?

  Let's put pasta.

• 10:48Hannah Berner?

  They go vegetables, a little cheese and pasta. Now it's good. Now it's a good salad.

• 10:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I do need to talk about one person that really didn't have the best time this weekend and was very taken aback, didn't know what was going on and her name is Daphne. And Daphne is, look, at a young age, Daphne has been a travel kitty.

• 11:13Hannah Berner?

  She's seen so much. She's seen so much in her young age.

• 11:16Paige DeSorbo?

  She's done so much. She's always mentally stimulated, you know, like she's, she's fine. Wherever you, wherever you take her, she's good.

• 11:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Except for Hannah's house.

• 11:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 11:32Hannah Berner?

  I feel bad.

• 11:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Get there, I take Daphne out. Daphne's like, fine. She's sniffing around. Then I show her like where we're sleeping, where her water bowl is, where her food is, and where her, where her litter box is.

• 11:46Hannah Berner?

  She fully turned into like The Real Housewives when they're picking rooms.

• 11:50Paige DeSorbo?

  She was like, the fish room? Literally the fish room? Are you fucking kidding? She literally looked at me and she gave me a look only a daughter can give a mother. And it's, when are we leaving? When are we going home? And so the way Hannah's house is like set up, like where we're like hanging out, you can't like see to go downstairs, but like you can kind of see if you're sitting at a certain angle, like through a window, you can see like the top of the stairs. Okay? Every 15 minutes, I would look over to my cat, sitting on the top of the stairs, staring at us, judging for three minutes, and then she would run off.

• 12:33Paige DeSorbo?

  She would then proceed to come back, judge again, give a snarl and run off.

• 12:40Hannah Berner?

  She also was like, help me. Like, hello, I'm in danger. I don't feel safe. I've seen what I need to see and I want to go home.

• 12:50Paige DeSorbo?

  She has never been more uncomfortable in her life.

• 12:54Hannah Berner?

  I tossed her in the kitty room, which I'm housing three kittens that were found at the side of the road. So Daphne is immediately unimpressed and disgusted.

• 13:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:07Hannah Berner?

  So she's like, um, where are your parents? You don't have parents? What does your dad do? What is it? You didn't go to private school? You didn't go to private school? Okay, um, do you have a last name?

• 13:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you even microchipped? Oh, my mom? They're not microchipped.

• 13:27Hannah Berner?

  She goes, no one's cut your nails in a very long time. Get a manicure like once.

• 13:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Let me tell you, she slept all day on Sunday. She was exhausted. She was emotionally and mentally. Wow. She had given all she could give.

• 13:45Hannah Berner?

  And then Butter, of course, was in my room.

• 13:51Paige DeSorbo?

  But it was like, oh, you're having people over? Cool. I'll see you Monday.

• 13:54Hannah Berner?

  But I had this fear that if I opened the door, that like her and Daphne would have an interaction. And for everyone who's like, oh, my God, Butter and Daphne met. Butter's a street fighter. And Butter fights dirty.

• 14:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:07Hannah Berner?

  And Daphne, as beautiful as she is, she can't, she can't defend herself against.

• 14:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a working model, Butter. A working model.

• 14:18Hannah Berner?

  Not the money face.

• 14:22Hannah Berner?

  And Butter, Butter has half an ear. Like Butter has nothing to lose.

• 14:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Hannah Berner?

  So that's not a fair fight. And I just wanted to make sure Daphne was okay. Butter was okay. We survived the weekend.

• 14:32Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what I never, never crossed my mind, though? What if we have kids and they like, don't get along?

• 14:40Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God, if my kid doesn't get along with your kid?

• 14:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like what if we have, I feel like if we have, if I have one and you have one, that that's like impossible. They have to get along. But I feel like what if there's a world where like you have two boys and I have like a boy and a girl? And like the boys don't get along, but like the girl dates one of the other boys. You know, like what if there's drama between them? Honestly, I just described the summer I turned pretty, so.

• 15:11Paige DeSorbo?

  And I really apologize for that.

• 15:13Hannah Berner?

  I feel like I've been in deep with my Hulu.

• 15:18Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I've thought about this, actually. I've thought this fully through. Basically, the way they're gonna be introduced is like, this is not your friend, like, this is your cousin. This is your family. Like, I know she's weird.

• 15:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 15:30Hannah Berner?

  She's part of the family. But also, I don't think people realize, your kids are gonna be a bad influence on my kids.

• 15:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 15:39Hannah Berner?

  Like, your kids are gonna be like, cool and like,

• 15:43Hannah Berner?

  I don't know, they're just, I just feel like my kids are gonna be a little more straight edge. But, but if I may raise my kids in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, they will be doing acid by 11.

• 15:53Paige DeSorbo?

  That's so true.

• 15:54Hannah Berner?

  And then, your kids, if they're raised in the burbs, should stay away from my kids.

• 16:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 16:01Hannah Berner?

  But sometimes suburban kids are weird. They like sniff stuff, because they have to get more creative.

• 16:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just gonna say, sometimes suburban kids start a drug habit super early.

• 16:10Hannah Berner?

  And suburban kids love doing crazy things in cars, which city kids are like, I'm high as fuck, but I'm lying in the park.

• 16:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 16:17Hannah Berner?

  Which is unsafe as well.

• 16:18Paige DeSorbo?

  It's something that we're gonna have to figure out, but I did have that thought. It was like, oh my god, I didn't even think like, like, because in my head, I'm like, we both are having girls and they're gonna be best friends.

• 16:28Hannah Berner?

  You're like, what if we have kids and then like aliens come down and like, oh, that's the plot of War of the Worlds.

• 16:36Paige DeSorbo?

  One thing that we did talk about is,

• 16:40Paige DeSorbo?

  and we said that people don't talk about it enough, is that there was a Disney Channel movie about twins and they were basketball players and the name of that movie was Double Teamed.

• 16:51Hannah Berner?

  And that's why we are the way we are.

• 16:53Paige DeSorbo?

  And, and don't ask us the origin of this story. I don't know how it started, but there was just a moment where we like made that realization and we talked about it. And it's so unsettling when you think about it.

• 17:06Hannah Berner?

  How many people that had to go through of approval before it came to our desk?

• 17:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, that went through many meetings and it was like, this is for kids.

• 17:16Hannah Berner?

  They go, I understand it's double teamed, but how can we make it less sexual? Let's make it twins. That'll be better.

• 17:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, double, here's, here's one thing. If it was double team.

• 17:29Paige DeSorbo?

  That almost makes it less sexual, I think.

• 17:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 17:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Than double teamed.

• 17:35Hannah Berner?

  Double teamed is...

• 17:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Double teamed, like that, like teamed.

• 17:40Hannah Berner?

  That's what happened to one of my roommates in college, double teamed.

• 17:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and that's the only other, that's the only meaning of it. There's no other meaning of double teamed, other than having sex with, getting...

• 17:52Hannah Berner?

  That's what happens when you answer a Snapchat with a guy in the football team, double teamed.

• 17:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Correct. And I just think that's so crazy, and it makes me so uncomfortable.

• 18:02Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's funny, if you watch a lot of comedies now, you see how they make a lot of jokes for the adults. But double teamed, that's creepy. It's giving Nickelodeon.

• 18:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's so frickin' creepy.

• 18:13Hannah Berner?

  It's giving Nickelodeon seeing people's feet.

• 18:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know how we got on that. But I think it was because we were doing like all these different sports things. And we were saying, and I, actually, I was saying all of the different sports that I think I would have been good at.

• 18:28Paige DeSorbo?

  And Hannah said, if she didn't play tennis, she would have played basketball. And then that brought me to, have you ever seen double teamed?

• 18:35Hannah Berner?

  But I said I couldn't play basketball because my hands are hooves and I can't hold the ball. But the funniest thing was Paige comes in, we learned about each other this weekend. She's wearing like a gorgeous bikini, like stunning, everything's working. And then she stands up and she goes, "Do you want to race?" And I was like, "What do you mean?" And she's like, "Do you want to play mermaids? Do you want to race? Marco Polo, like all the games?" And I was like, "Let's fucking go." And then, to get into the pool, she doesn't go towards the, the little, not towards the stairs. She goes towards the deep end. I said, "Where are you going, babe? Did you get lost?" And she goes, "I'm jumping in." And I said, "I didn't see that for you."

• 19:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:17Hannah Berner?

  You are a fucking freak. This, she literally is like, hair, well, she hasn't washed her hair in like many days. That's a whole other thing that we haven't talked about. But like, so put together and goes, "I'm about to belly flop." And I was like, "I thought for sure you would be that girl who daintily walks in, three stairs in, and then goes, 'You guys, it's kind of cold. Are you sure?'" And then we're like, "Come on, Paige!" And you're like, "Okay." And then like 10 minutes later, you're in, and then you're like, "Actually, it's kind of warm." We're like, "We told you, Paige. No, this bitch." Fucking and not even like a graceful dive. She fucking

• 19:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Cannonball.

• 19:52Hannah Berner?

  Cannonballs. And that's so you because people can't put you in a box.

• 19:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they really can't. And I, dare I say, I thought you were gonna be like me.

• 20:05Hannah Berner?

  No, I'm dainty when it comes to the pool.

• 20:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like it took you 10 minutes to get in and you like you were going slow, slow, slow. You're torturing yourself.

• 20:14Hannah Berner?

  I don't want to brag. I do have very high muscle, low body fat as of at least 10 years ago, last time I checked. So I, I get really cold really easily because I am tiny in the ankles.

• 20:27Hannah Berner?

  So when it hits the ankles first, it shoots up my body. Also, I'm

• 20:33Hannah Berner?

  yeah, I'm like scared of water in general, kind of. When I was little, I almost got swept away by a current.

• 20:40Paige DeSorbo?

  We're in a pool, your pool.

• 20:44Paige DeSorbo?

  It was 85 degrees. We were in a heated pool in the middle of summer.

• 20:51Hannah Berner?

  Do you know when you jump and like it gets like in your ear or up your nose and then your day's ruined for three days? Like it's just not, it's not worth it.

• 20:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I just think like going, going in by the stairs, I obviously used to do that, but I

• 21:06Hannah Berner?

  Grew up.

• 21:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, not to sound so cultured, but I feel like I'm like always jumping off boats. And so like when you jump off a boat, you have to jump in. You can't like walk in from a boat.

• 21:17Hannah Berner?

  I have to stop you right there. That's where you've lost the entire audience. The entire, no, no one can relate to that. She's like, you know, when you're by the cliffs and then the boat's taking you to the cliff.

• 21:29Paige DeSorbo?

  No, really. I feel like I, I, that's why I jump in because you have to jump off a boat.

• 21:37Hannah Berner?

  And she goes, and these yachts are high.

• 21:41Hannah Berner?

  You know that you're about to get like doom wah that you're a yacht girl after that comment.

• 21:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Honestly, I just say from

• 21:47Hannah Berner?

  Money on these yachts.

• 21:49Paige DeSorbo?

  From my family vacation, like that is. I jump in off a boat, but um, no, jumping in you, it's three seconds of cold compared to like literally two solid minutes of torturing yourself, walking into the cold.

• 22:07Paige DeSorbo?

  And then you're just fine.

• 22:08Hannah Berner?

  Does like you never felt worse after jumping in cold water. And I go, yeah, but I felt better before it.

• 22:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, Dez and I are water signs. And so we really, we connect with the water like I. I love the ocean. Like I, I really feel like when I go in the ocean, I feel differently than other people because I genuinely feel like it heals my soul.

• 22:32Hannah Berner?

  This is my thing. Nothing feels better than peeing in water.

• 22:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you pee in the shower?

• 22:39Hannah Berner?

  I can't help but pee in the shower. The second warm water hits me, I'm peeing.

• 22:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like there's like a whole discourse, like low key on like people being like, it's gross to pee in the shower because like of the drain. Like it's going down the drain.

• 22:55Hannah Berner?

  Again, none of my business what's going on in the drain. The drain, I have so many things to worry about. I'm not worrying about what's growing in my drain. I don't even know what's growing in my Stanley right now. Okay. There's the, no, absolutely not.

• 23:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No, and like, I'm not sitting in the bathroom being like, okay, well, yeah, obviously the sink and the shower drain would be different than the sewage system, but like.

• 23:18Hannah Berner?

  Again, no.

• 23:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Again, but then there's an argument that like pee, you could pee on someone getting surgery and it's like, you're fine.

• 23:25Hannah Berner?

  This is my problem. My pee, I think my pee is perfect.

• 23:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Same.

• 23:29Hannah Berner?

  But like if someone else were to pee, I'm like, okay, let's have some respect.

• 23:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. Well, I'm hydrated. And so that's basically water with a little bit of like UTI. Powder. Yeah, like, leave me alone.

• 23:44Hannah Berner?

  Dez is just like water and Advil on his. So like, we're a happy home. This is a really niche reference, but do you remember the movie Jimmy Neutron?

• 23:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't remember the movie, but I remember the TV show, like, did they make a movie?

• 23:57Hannah Berner?

  They made a movie and at one point, like all the adults disappeared and they were showing all the things kids were doing because the adults were gone. And one kid was like, I'm peeing in the shower. And then I was like, oh, you're not supposed to be in the shower.

• 24:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you know what's funny is you, because you had a younger sibling, you watched more younger shows. Like, once I hit the age where it was over for me, I then never saw anything like younger, because no one was turning it on.

• 24:24Hannah Berner?

  Because I didn't have an older sibling, the first time I saw MTV, I was like 11. And it was at a tennis camp with all like the cool older girls, and I saw Ja Rule with his shirt off, and life was never the same.

• 24:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm trying to...

• 24:38Hannah Berner?

  I don't know about you.

• 24:40Paige DeSorbo?

  My first experience with MTV was actually so surreal, because it was The Real World, San Diego, and it was Cameron from Southern Charm, and that was the first reality show I ever watched.

• 24:56Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my god.

• 24:57Paige DeSorbo?

  And I loved her. I thought she was like the prettiest person to ever be on the planet. And then to think like, oh, I'm gonna go on reality TV, scary.

• 25:06Hannah Berner?

  She's adorable.

• 25:08Paige DeSorbo?

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• 25:49Paige DeSorbo?

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• 26:22Hannah Berner?

  We have to give credit where credit's due.

• 26:25Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's to Quince.

• 26:26Hannah Berner?

  We really love Quince. Everyone in our family loves Quince. And it's priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands, which is what I get a high off of. I get a kick off of.

• 26:36Paige DeSorbo?

  And the holiday season is coming. If you don't know what to buy, someone truly just go to Quince. I actually gifted myself recently all new bath towels. Cause after a couple of years, you're like, gross, I gotta get new bath towels.

• 26:48Hannah Berner?

  What did you like about them?

• 26:49Paige DeSorbo?

  They're so big. Like they're

• 26:52Hannah Berner?

  And they're like

• 26:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And they're like, yeah, I'll put me and my whole family in this towel.

• 26:58Hannah Berner?

  I need new towels. I'm gonna buy them. They also work directly with ethical factories and cut the middlemen. So that's how they're able to have such affordable and high quality. They have 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters.

• 27:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a navy blue one. It's always with me because it's small enough that like you can throw it in your bag, but it is warm enough that you don't need another piece.

• 27:19Hannah Berner?

  They also have really cool rugs. I need to check out their rugs. And they have really good like leather bags and jewelry. Like literally anything you want is at Quince.

• 27:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know that Giggly Squad sent you and support our show. When your mental health is suffering, therapy can help, but sometimes it's not the whole answer. Talkiiatry gives you access to real psychiatric care with licensed clinicians who can diagnose and prescribe medication if it's right for you. It's a simple way to get effective treatment right from home. Talkiiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses and ongoing medical management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression and more.

• 28:12Paige DeSorbo?

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• 28:55Paige DeSorbo?

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• 29:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Embrace your salty side. Go to kachava.com and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. That's kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com with code GIGGLY.

• 29:52Hannah Berner?

  I do want to say I'm proud of you. This is the first time you went to the Hamptons since, and I hope that I helped you create new memories.

• 30:00Paige DeSorbo?

  You did help me create new memories.

• 30:02Hannah Berner?

  You also brought Stromboli.

• 30:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course.

• 30:06Hannah Berner?

  And you also brought pinoli cookies.

• 30:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Of course.

• 30:10Hannah Berner?

  And rainbow cookies. And sprinkle cookies.

• 30:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. Well, you can't bring a pinoli, you can't bring a pinoli and not a sprinkle cookie. That's just like rude.

• 30:20Hannah Berner?

  Imagine I did that for the rest of the pot and chocolate.

• 30:25Paige DeSorbo?

  And she brought her own pillows and then she brought Christmas gifts for everyone for, for this coming Christmas. And then she brought.

• 30:35Hannah Berner?

  So that was really good. And we hung out with Gary.

• 30:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, and then my brother and his girlfriend were in town, like were around in the vicinity and stopped over and we played some tennis. We had some, I ate a lobster roll.

• 30:53Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, you did play tennis and you did the most page thing ever. I hit her a backhand and she just said, no, thank you. And I said, what's wrong? And she goes, I'm not hitting backhands. And I'm like, did you just refuse to hit a backhand?

• 31:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not doing backhands today.

• 31:10Hannah Berner?

  She was like, no, thank you. And I was like, I love that you're polite, but that's not how sports work. And she goes, what game is this? This is tennis, this is my whole life, this is what I put my whole entire life into. And you could have some damn fucking respect on, okay, okay. And you were like, okay, I'm done.

• 31:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally am that like annoying little girl that was like, okay, but what if we did ballet on the tennis court? And everyone's like, we're playing a game.

• 31:35Hannah Berner?

  You also, you don't like to do things for too long.

• 31:38Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I don't, I get tired.

• 31:40Hannah Berner?

  I mean, chatting all day.

• 31:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I could go all day and all night, snacking for at least four hours.

• 31:48Hannah Berner?

  Dez was very impressed by our chatting cardio.

• 31:54Hannah Berner?

  Like marathon. As in like, he's like, you got, all you do is talk to each other and then you're like seeing each other. He's like, you know, when you guys get into your whole giggly thing? And I say, it's, it's a religion, babe. Respect religion.

• 32:08Paige DeSorbo?

  But I would argue that every friend duo is like this. Like, you know what's crazy is I always think about, and I've said this since I was like a child.

• 32:19Paige DeSorbo?

  When you're married for like thirty, forty years, what are you guys talking about? Like, how are you still finding things to talk about?

• 32:25Hannah Berner?

  Because it's like. You have to talk about other people.

• 32:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like you know everything about each other, you have to. I mean, the world would not survive if you didn't talk about other people. But with you, I'm never like, oh no, what are me and Hannah gonna talk about today? Like, uh, we're gonna find things, it's gonna come up.

• 32:42Hannah Berner?

  You know what it is? It's like love, it just takes two people who have the same goal. Like, we, give us nothing and we both are going to try to make it work. And that's what friendship is, two people trying to make a gossip work. And let's be honest, I'll start a gossip and you might not be into it, but you're gonna support me in it. And you're gonna say, okay, well, why did she do that? Why do you think she did that? Let's, let's see it from different angles. And that's, that's what friendship is.

• 33:08Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know what I think maybe Dez is desensitized to? That so much gossip happens in our world right in front of our faces. And we need to bring it back behind closed doors. Like, we need to bring it back to its original intended form. And that's at your friend's kitchen table, where like, they're not gonna see it, no one's gonna like it, reply to it, comment on it. Let me say what I need to say in peace.

• 33:34Hannah Berner?

  I wanna start it with, can I say something kind of mean?

• 33:39Hannah Berner?

  Or this, I normally would never say, you know, I'm not like this. You know, I would never be this mean. But am I alone in this?

• 33:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, am I alone in this? Makes it sound profound. It makes it sound like we went to college. We, we went, we furthered our ever education when we say, and am I alone in this?

• 33:59Hannah Berner?

  Am I alone? This sounds like, yeah, I'm trying to, um, change the world.

• 34:06Hannah Berner?

  Which we do. We do every day through conversation. Also, I did make, I did have a little Italian snafu. Gary brought prosciutto, prosciutto, however, or prosciutto, whatever you would call it in Idaho.

• 34:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, wait. I know that you're gonna tell this story, but first let me preface that I get there on Friday night and Hannah, immediately she's like, and tomorrow we're gonna have prosciutto with melon. And I'm like, amazing. I love prosciutto with melon. And she said it like three times, like, and that will be like our cute little snack.

• 34:40Paige DeSorbo?

  And that was her party trick. Proceed with your story.

• 34:44Hannah Berner?

  Also, I'm, you're me and does. Um, so Gary brings the prosciutto and then I-

• 34:51Paige DeSorbo?

  So she didn't even have one of the main ingredient, okay, one of the main ingredients for said dish was not even in the home.

• 34:59Hannah Berner?

  I knew there was gonna be Italian people around. Someone was gonna have prosciutto.

• 35:03Paige DeSorbo?

  That's actually so true. Someone had it in their car.

• 35:11Hannah Berner?

  There was like a high percent chance one of you guys had prosciutto.

• 35:17Hannah Berner?

  Which, oh my God. So, but then this is where the issue came.

• 35:23Hannah Berner?

  I, I don't know about melons.

• 35:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 35:25Hannah Berner?

  I don't realize that the inside of melons are not all created equal. I didn't realize that I didn't have melon. I had a cantaloupe. I thought a cantaloupe was a melon.

• 35:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you had a honeydew. You had a, you had a literal, she, so she, so she cuts up this melon. First of all, no, she goes to cut up the melon. She goes to cut up the melon and my brother stands up swiftly and goes, ah, maybe I should cut it.

• 35:50Hannah Berner?

  Can I just say, no one believes in me. Like, no one believes in me and the way you learn is by making mistakes. I come down with a battle axe and a melon, because that's how you cut melons.

• 36:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:00Hannah Berner?

  Immediately, right before I'm about to cut it, I realize, hmm, I feel like there should be some strategy.

• 36:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Not the right knife.

• 36:07Hannah Berner?

  It was, I don't know what kind, I don't know my knives.

• 36:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:10Hannah Berner?

  Wasn't the right knife. Gary.

• 36:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, hold on. Also, I just need to like, set the scene for you. We're in Hannah's backyard. She's walking around with this massive knife. All day too, because we were cutting up different things. And like, she kept making the same joke, but every time she said it, it literally hit. She would always say, she kept saying, "Thanks Des for getting me the small knife."

• 36:33Hannah Berner?

  Good, I was, I wanted the small knife. And it kept getting laughs, so good doing it.

• 36:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it was the bit of the day.

• 36:39Hannah Berner?

  You can't pick up that knife and like, not say something. It was an insane knife to have near human beings. Like, it looks like what you use to cut up a body. It was insane. So, naturally, I was like, maybe this is the knife that'll be good for this cantaloupe, melon, honeydew, whatever the fuck it was. I didn't know. Did, could you tell before cutting into it what it would be?

• 37:01Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I didn't. But you want to know what? I wasn't really thinking like, oh, this isn't a melon. Because if someone says, hey, I have a melon for you. Just, I thought, I think, oh, she went to the melon section, she picked it up. Like, there's obviously a honeydew section.

• 37:16Hannah Berner?

  I'll say you think, if I like, was bragging about making this for you guys, I'd have any of the ingredients.

• 37:22Paige DeSorbo?

  And, anything.

• 37:23Hannah Berner?

  Like, we're over two, and there's only two ingredients.

• 37:27Paige DeSorbo?

  We were this close to having salami and apples, okay? This freaking close.

• 37:33Hannah Berner?

  But it's so funny, because Gary sees me with the knife, which by the way, I've been handling all day.

• 37:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:38Hannah Berner?

  And he's like, I've seen what I need to see.

• 37:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:40Hannah Berner?

  Comes up to me, takes the knife, and starts cutting it, which, then I realized, like, I am kind of good at getting other people to do my dirty work. You just kind of have to look confused and dangerous with a weapon. And they're like, oh, thank you. So he's cutting it.

• 37:56Paige DeSorbo?

  You have to look like you're about to make everyone else's day 10 times more annoying. Like, because she just looked like, ooh, I just chopped my thumb off. Like, and that would have been so annoying.

• 38:07Hannah Berner?

  No, that would have been super inconvenient for the weekend we had planned. And selfish. So Gary starts cutting it up, and I don't know who, it might have been you, that was like, that's honeydew.

• 38:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:21Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, okay, like, that's socially constructed. Like, like, it identifies as a melon.

• 38:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, here's the other thing. You didn't even give us full pieces of prosciutto. The way you, the way you were trying to do it like an almond mom wrapping it around the honeydew. Like you actually had created a new snack.

• 38:44Hannah Berner?

  So first of all, I did not wrap it. That would have been way fucking cuter if I wrapped it. And I should have had toothpicks. That wasn't saying not to have toothpicks. Third of all, Gary cut it in a way that wasn't like on my plan of how I was gonna do it. So then I just like put it in strips and put it, it didn't, it was not good.

• 39:00Paige DeSorbo?

  It was not good.

• 39:01Hannah Berner?

  There's nothing more humbling as a host than when you show up to the group, sitting by the pool with honeydew prosciutto and you go, does anyone want any? And I'm telling you, if someone doesn't early on, put their hand up, it's a group mentality thing. And everyone's like, oh, it's okay. And actually, no, you have a pound of prosciutto wasted on honeydew melon that's gonna get hot and have flies on it. So you guys are all like doing whatever you're doing and I'm looking at my failure of a work of art.

• 39:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, man. It was a good time though.

• 39:38Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what? No, do you know what was even worse? So no one eats it. It's just sitting there. Couple hours go by. I notice it. And I take a little taste. Of course, Gary doesn't let that go and he's like, did you just fucking eat the honeydew? And I go, someone has to.

• 39:55Paige DeSorbo?

  He goes, that's been sitting in the sun for two hours, Hannah.

• 39:59Hannah Berner?

  And I go, look, I'm not about waste. Cause you guys are wasteful.

• 40:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And you're not about waste. No.

• 40:04Hannah Berner?

  Not about waste. So, so that was fun. Anyway, guys, um, oh my God, I've been enjoying chugging my Dunkin refresher. I'm obsessed. Let me, oh, I pulled off, but I get it with the green tea.

• 40:19Paige DeSorbo?

  So do I.

• 40:20Hannah Berner?

  You do too? It's so good.

• 40:22Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so good. You know, I actually had a thought and the Dunkin' refreshers have pushed me to it. I used to be a girlie that didn't drink coffee in the morning and I would drink green tea. And then one day I just like forgot about green tea and since I've been having green tea in my refreshers, I'm back to like green tea mornings.

• 40:40Hannah Berner?

  Thank you Dunkin' for keeping us refreshed all weekend long. And go to gigglysummer.com to submit stories for a chance to win the Giggly Dunkin' merch. If you've seen it online, it's pretty amazing.

• 40:51Paige DeSorbo?

  We played with three kitties. It was the, here's the thing too. Okay, Dez was like, you guys can play with the kittens, but don't take the kitten out of the kitten room and play with it in the living room. And we were like, okay, like we're not even going to. So we're taking.

• 41:05Hannah Berner?

  Rules are made to be broken.

• 41:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, so obviously we, we get the kitty and we take her out into the living room. And right as Dez predicted, we lost the kitty.

• 41:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Kitty is gone.

• 41:18Paige DeSorbo?

  We said she couldn't have gotten far.

• 41:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally felt in that moment Hannah, when we were looking for that cat, I actually felt like I was 11 years old and I was there for a sleepover. Dez was our dad and we had just done something that he specifically told us not to do.

• 41:40Hannah Berner?

  And that's our, that's our role play we do at night.

• 41:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And we're panicking because we're getting to the point where we have to be like, can you help us?

• 41:47Hannah Berner?

  No, I was looking in the fridge. I was like, is the cat in the fridge? I started like looking under pillows. At one point I like looked in my own pocket. I'm like, where is the kitten? Mind you, of course she's just like right there under the couch. She comes out. And I have a special announcement. And if you're on the YouTube, she's been here this whole time.

• 42:13Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, the way I picked her up, she just goes limp. That was hilarious.

• 42:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that was so cute. Wait, show her again.

• 42:21Paige DeSorbo?

  She's so cute.

• 42:23Hannah Berner?

  This is Boots, who's attached to me at the hip.

• 42:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, wait, I walk in, cat's name is Cupid.

• 42:29Hannah Berner?

  Cat's name is Cupid.

• 42:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Then immediately, cat's name was Socks.

• 42:33Hannah Berner?

  Then it was Socks.

• 42:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Socks then turned into Boots.

• 42:36Hannah Berner?

  Mm-hmm. Cause you know, she's growing, she's learning. Naming cats is very fun, but if it, it has to work. And the thing is, we called her Boots, cause the white goes all the way up to like, right above the knee.

• 42:48Paige DeSorbo?

  She's wearing boots.

• 42:49Hannah Berner?

  It's like an above the knee boot. And fall is around the corner. It just seems appropriate. Also like, you know, cowboy Carter, like, country's back in, so Boots, you could say like Boots.

• 42:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 42:59Hannah Berner?

  So I'm in love with this cat. Like, this cat is a very special cat. Off the side of the road, it just has an amazing temperament. Paige, you love this cat.

• 43:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I love this cat.

• 43:09Hannah Berner?

  And as you know, I've been fostering cats, also known as trafficking cats to all my friends. So this cat, I'm not letting, I'm gatekeeping. Like, I'm not letting the general public adopt her. Like, I'm like, this needs to stay in the family.

• 43:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 43:26Hannah Berner?

  Poor Grace, just wanted to have a nice job. She just wants, she just wants to make some money.

• 43:31Paige DeSorbo?

  She wanted to go to work, receive a paycheck, go home, live her life. We said, wait a minute. This is a lifelong commitment. This is a cult.

• 43:41Hannah Berner?

  So, poor Grace.

• 43:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you in, or are you out?

• 43:44Hannah Berner?

  Poor Grace, not only, so she drove me out to the Hamptons to meet this cat, cause I forced her. And then, I drove her around in the car. Um, I think she disassociated, cause I was like, are you okay? And she was like, where am I?

• 44:02Hannah Berner?

  Definitely HR, one of the worst HR violations we've had. Like, I can see the Giggly Squad documentaries, starting with her, like, sitting down and being like, at first it was fun, like, we did this tour, and then we got it.

• 44:15Hannah Berner?

  Next thing you know, Hannah was not checking her blind spot.

• 44:21Hannah Berner?

  And then there was a lot of cats everywhere.

• 44:23Paige DeSorbo?

  There was just so much litter, just litter everywhere.

• 44:27Hannah Berner?

  And then they were forcing beta blockers down my throat.

• 44:32Hannah Berner?

  And I had to listen to hours and hours and hours of Hannah's weird laugh.

• 44:36Paige DeSorbo?

  She has really low blood pressure now.

• 44:39Hannah Berner?

  Also, I broke my jaw.

• 44:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god, do you remember when Grace broke her jaw?

• 44:44Hannah Berner?

  Grace broke her jaw, we were not involved, we were not involved.

• 44:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, we were not involved in that.

• 44:48Hannah Berner?

  So, the way I like to do this cat thing is it can take time, you can't force it, but Boots loves me. And I wanted to see if Boots naturally gravitated to Grace, and let's be honest, Grace has incredible energy. Especially for cats, because cats don't like frenetic, stress, high energy, people that with sudden movements, stressing them out. Grace is calm as a fucking cucumber. This cat is like gravitating to her, and I'm like, okay, this could be it. Because also, I don't want Grace to take the cat if the cat's not gonna be happy.

• 45:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 45:20Hannah Berner?

  So, let's just say I did a lot of, a lot of work.

• 45:25Paige DeSorbo?

  You did a lot of, uh, revert, what is it, reverse psychology?

• 45:30Hannah Berner?

  Well, she called me at one point and she said, look, I don't, I love her, but I don't know if I want to have a cat. And I said, does anyone know if they want anything? I said, did I know?

• 45:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I was just gonna say, I feel like that's exactly what you said, and I was like, I don't know if I want to get married.

• 45:48Hannah Berner?

  I go, no one knows. No one knows.

• 45:52Hannah Berner?

  I said, if you knew, we, we wouldn't be humans in this life. Like, I'm getting crazy philosophical with her, like, all, she's so confused by the end of the call. And she's like, I just don't know.

• 46:04Paige DeSorbo?

  At the end of the call, she's like, am I a cat?

• 46:09Hannah Berner?

  She goes, do you want to adopt me?

• 46:12Hannah Berner?

  So, she literally was calling me to be like, I think because I'm not a hundred percent sure, I shouldn't do it. And I go, no one's ever a hundred percent sure. I said, I wasn't a hundred percent sure about my marriage. And look where we are. Look where we are, arguing about who should tell the story at a dinner table, okay? And then, I, but I said, but you know what, I totally get it. I said, I totally get it, there's actually a.

• 46:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, let's also, I think it's important to note that Grace started working for us, and.

• 46:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Terrified of cats.

• 46:43Hannah Berner?

  She had a phobia of cats.

• 46:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it wasn't just that she didn't like cats or wasn't like, you know, privy to them. It was like she genuinely was scared of them.

• 46:53Hannah Berner?

  And one thing about me is I love a challenge.

• 46:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 46:55Hannah Berner?

  So I was like, okay, she'll be hard work, but that's the kind of work I want to put. I don't want someone who's like, I want a cat. I said, no, no.

• 47:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 47:03Hannah Berner?

  I want someone who doesn't want it and to flip them, like you.

• 47:06Paige DeSorbo?

  And, yeah, I was just gonna say, and she's, you're go- you're going on two of two now.

• 47:11Hannah Berner?

  I'm two for two.

• 47:12Paige DeSorbo?

  People should hire you.

• 47:14Hannah Berner?

  Should I be a cat matchmaker?

• 47:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It's kind of crazy how you have gotten into the minds of many young girls.

• 47:25Hannah Berner?

  So Grace then calls me again and she's like, I've been doing my research, I've been talking to everyone. And she's like, I a hundred percent want this cat. So this was just accidental reverse psychology, but I had to bring the cats back this morning to get spayed, which means they have to cut their little bellies to spay them. It's so sad. But I get a call from Desi, goes, we have a problem with Boots. And I'm like, what's going on? He goes, she's too skinny. She has to be two and a half pounds before they cut her open, so we have to take her back. So I called Grace, I'm like, Grace, I'm so sorry, you can't adopt this cat tomorrow. I need to fatten her up for another week. And Grace is like, are you kidding me? Like, I want the cat now. And I said, look how the turntables have turned.

• 48:09Hannah Berner?

  She's like, no, I need this cat right now. And I go.

• 48:12Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's what ultimately happens. Once you've made up your mind.

• 48:16Hannah Berner?

  You need this cat.

• 48:17Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, well, why isn't there a cat on my lap?

• 48:20Hannah Berner?

  No, she literally is like, if I don't have a cat right in my lap in three minutes, I'm gonna lose my mind.

• 48:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:24Hannah Berner?

  But Grace, everyone, tell Grace, congratulations on her pregnancy. She's having a baby and her name is Boots.

• 48:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, is she keeping that name?

• 48:33Hannah Berner?

  She loves the name Boots.

• 48:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I'm obsessed.

• 48:37Hannah Berner?

  She loves, she, cause I said, you call her whatever you want. She's your child. Like, you birthed her. And so, yeah, in about a week, Grace will take her home. She's already like done a whole Amazon list. We'll add it to the newsletter of all the stuff for the cat.

• 48:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I actually just bought a cat thing on Amazon this week because I realized I'm traveling all these places and I'm putting Daphne's food in like a little plastic bag, like a... Trash. And so I got her like this little case to travel with her food. I was like, oh my God, Daphne, I'm so sorry.

• 49:11Hannah Berner?

  What kind of water does she drink?

• 49:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Purified Evian.

• 49:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Just from the tap. The cat's like lukewarm. She likes it lukewarm.

• 49:25Hannah Berner?

  It's funny how cats are so specific too. One last thing about cats. I'm sorry if anyone's like, I don't like cats. Well, I have one last thing to say, which one I said to Grace. Life is good, but it's just better with a cat.

• 49:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 49:40Hannah Berner?

  So it's like, if you're happy in life, that's great. Imagine being happier.

• 49:44Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 49:47Paige DeSorbo?

  There's nothing really else you can say. Like, that is so spot on. Like, it's so much better. Like, you might have had a good day and you're like excited to go home and get on the couch. Imagine if there's just like a floof waiting for you to also get on the couch.

• 50:03Hannah Berner?

  And she's not annoying. She's not annoying.

• 50:06Paige DeSorbo?

  And she lives her own life.

• 50:07Hannah Berner?

  She lives her own life. And her name is Booth and she's right here.

• 50:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so excited for Grace.

• 50:13Hannah Berner?

  So we're really excited for Grace. Who's my next victim? I have to like, search, maybe Chris. Does Chris have a cat?

• 50:20Paige DeSorbo?

  No, honestly, I feel like you're like running out of people. You've infiltrated so much.

• 50:25Hannah Berner?

  I only have so many friends.

• 50:27Paige DeSorbo?

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• 51:11Paige DeSorbo?

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• 51:55Paige DeSorbo?

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• 52:39Paige DeSorbo?

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• 54:03Hannah Berner?

  Also, kind of nostalgic, I just want to bring awareness to, a people don't talk enough about, the Powerpuff Girls.

• 54:12Paige DeSorbo?

  What specifically?

• 54:13Hannah Berner?

  Did you watch it?

• 54:14Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't. Can I tell you something Cartoon Network? Not for me.

• 54:19Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna say Cartoon Network is so Hannah-coded.

• 54:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's not page-coded.

• 54:23Hannah Berner?

  Ed, Ed and Eddie, you would never watch. See, I love that silly shit, but Powerpuff Girls, oh, like Dexter? Do you remember Dexter?

• 54:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Can I tell you something that's so me-coded?

• 54:37Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 54:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Any TV shows where they're like yelling?

• 54:42Hannah Berner?

  I've seen what I need to see.

• 54:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I would be like, stop. Like, I really didn't like that. Like, I liked, again, as I am as an adult, where I like to watch pretty people on the TV. I like them to be so fucking hot. As a younger child, I liked to watch things that were aesthetically pleasing to me. So like.

• 55:06Hannah Berner?

  That's why I can't believe I'm your favorite person.

• 55:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I liked Mary-Kate and Ashley because they had matching outfits.

• 55:12Hannah Berner?

  You love Disney Channel, Lizzie McGuire.

• 55:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I love Disney Channel. So like anytime someone would offer up the Cartoon Network, I immediately knew what kind of kid you were and I was disinterested. I would be like, no.

• 55:26Hannah Berner?

  This is the thing though with Powerpuff Girls aesthetically, because one of them had black hair, one of them was blonde, one was redhead, and they all had different colors. It was like so cute and they all were just like badass and like I think it formed who I am as a woman, the Powerpuff Girls.

• 55:43Paige DeSorbo?

  See, again, I didn't like action.

• 55:47Hannah Berner?

  You go, why are they moving so much?

• 55:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I go, take a nap. Why don't you guys chill? Like, you're getting out of your house and you're like running away from your parents and this is what you're going and doing? Like, go to the mall.

• 56:00Hannah Berner?

  Wait, that's Cartoon Network 2, the commercials were like, eh, you want this, ah, boy!

• 56:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yogurt!

• 56:10Hannah Berner?

  It's always a yo- like, why did it was there so much yogurt in those fucking squeeze tubes when we were little? Like, she was cra- like, it's just like.

• 56:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my, easy squeeze!

• 56:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that is also something so.

• 56:26Hannah Berner?

  Gogurt!

• 56:26Paige DeSorbo?

  To know, like.

• 56:27Hannah Berner?

  Gogurt!

• 56:28Paige DeSorbo?

  The commercials were even like too much. Like, I couldn't, I was like, no, get this station off. Like, I liked, then I'd have to switch to like PBS and like watch like Wishbone or something. I'd be like, that's so overstimulating.

• 56:40Hannah Berner?

  I did like Wishbone.

• 56:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I loved Wishbone.

• 56:42Hannah Berner?

  I'm surprised it didn't make you smarter as a kid.

• 56:46Hannah Berner?

  She goes, I just like the patterns of the dog. You might watch it on YouTube.

• 56:51Paige DeSorbo?

  You know who I really feel like I grew up to be was DW from Arthur, is who I grew up to be.

• 56:56Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god, I loved Arthur. Ah, I loved Arthur.

• 57:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Arthur was my favorite. DW just like called it how she saw it. She was assertive, she was blunt, she was to the point, and she was a little bit mean, okay? But people deserved it. People deserved it. Like, get out of DW's house.

• 57:13Hannah Berner?

  Did you like Kim Possible?

• 57:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, I feel like I was a little bit too old for Kim Possible, but.

• 57:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I definitely watched it, like Kim Possible and the Proud Family were like the same time. And I was like, I feel like I was leaving, but I still watched it, but I wasn't as involved as I could have been.

• 57:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like I thought Kim Possible was so cool with her cargo pants.

• 57:40Paige DeSorbo?

  You kind of grew up to be Kim Possible.

• 57:42Hannah Berner?

  It's the nicest thing you've ever said.

• 57:44Paige DeSorbo?

  You have red hair.

• 57:45Hannah Berner?

  And I like little animals near me.

• 57:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like a naked mole rat.

• 57:49Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God.

• 57:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I love it.

• 57:53Hannah Berner?

  It's so cute.

• 57:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like the summer is like,

• 57:58Paige DeSorbo?

  to bring it full circle.

• 57:59Hannah Berner?

  Are you choking to death right now?

• 58:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like the summer

• 58:06Paige DeSorbo?

  is always kind of like dead with like celebrity gossip because I genuinely feel like all of like the entertainment industry is like, just like they're on vacation in the summer. Yeah, like they're not, they're like, you can't find them, whatever. So I feel like like the gossip is pretty chill. One thing that people aren't talking about enough, I don't think, is the fact that Victoria Beckham, my religion. And her son are having like a huge feud. Like, and I feel like we're not really diving into what's going on, but like they're not speaking. And the younger sons keep posting these like cryptic things on Instagram, like people are picking up on it.

• 58:50Paige DeSorbo?

  So it's like the brothers now aren't talking to him. So like, I need to know, I need someone in there just to let me know what it overall is about. Because now we're going on like two years of just fighting, but what was the original fight is what I I need to know.

• 59:05Hannah Berner?

  Well, there was supposed to be a big fight with the wedding, but then they kind of like went past it.

• 59:11Paige DeSorbo?

  But I feel like when people fight over like a wedding, then once the wedding is over, it's like, okay, there's got to be like a new fight. Because how are you even continuing it? We we got married, we had the wedding, like done.

• 59:22Hannah Berner?

  Fight during a wedding? Did you even have a wedding? Like that's just part of having a wedding. This is why this makes me upset. In this day and age, for your family to be your biggest ops.

• 59:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:36Hannah Berner?

  Is so unsettling.

• 59:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:39Hannah Berner?

  Like, that person in your home is the one that the press is about and they're coming for you, like, it's not okay.

• 59:46Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's not okay.

• 59:47Hannah Berner?

  If I birthed you out of my pussy and ripped my butthole.

• 59:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:53Hannah Berner?

  You're not talking bad about me in the press.

• 59:55Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 59:56Hannah Berner?

  You're not talking to People Magazine about me.

• 59:58Paige DeSorbo?

  You're grounded. You're grounded.

• 1:00:00Hannah Berner?

  No, like, check your blind spot, go home, leave me alone. I don't like the whole, like, oh, the wife and the daughter-in-law is having beef, like, I don't know.

• 1:00:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that is so true. Like, they're making it so about Victoria and Nicola.

• 1:00:18Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:19Paige DeSorbo?

  And, but I really think it's more, it's deep, it's, that's your son. Like, who cares about the new wife? Like, why fight with her? What is going, what are they fighting with the son about? Is what I need to know, that, to the point where the son is like, you know what, I'm living my life with my wife, like, by ourselves. She also comes from, like, a really big family and, like, her siblings aren't going on the internet and being like, you know, saying, like, cryptic things.

• 1:00:45Hannah Berner?

  No, it's kind of like when Meghan, Meghan Markle became famous and her dad was, like, talking shit, like, it's crazy.

• 1:00:52Paige DeSorbo?

  What do you think about people saying that Meghan Markle stole Pamela Anderson's cooking show idea?

• 1:00:58Hannah Berner?

  What was Pamela Anderson's cooking show idea?

• 1:01:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Or, you know how she has, like, Pamela Anderson has that, like, Hulu show where it's like, it, you, like, watch her garden.

• 1:01:09Hannah Berner?

  Wait, how did I not know this? I need to put it on immediately.

• 1:01:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you, I, you, I feel like you have watched an episode before.

• 1:01:15Hannah Berner?

  Maybe. I love Pamela Anderson, everything she does. Wait, why were people messaging me that Liam Neeson said he's a giggler?

• 1:01:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Because he said, no, he just used the word giggle.

• 1:01:26Hannah Berner?

  Okay, the gigglers are losing their minds.

• 1:01:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:29Hannah Berner?

  Cause I'm like, can someone send me a video? Cause I feel like that's not.

• 1:01:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I think he said, "Me and Pam love to giggle," and they were like, clearly.

• 1:01:36Hannah Berner?

  But, is that a code? Is that a code?

• 1:01:41Paige DeSorbo?

  It could be. I mean, not us being best friends with Bobby Fly now.

• 1:01:49Paige DeSorbo?

  We have to be careful what we manifest and we will be at Pam and Liam's Thanksgiving this year.

• 1:01:57Hannah Berner?

  If you're on the Food Network or your name is Pamela Anderson, I want to be friends with you.

• 1:02:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's another thing I will say, I just feel like people always do whatever they can to pull like Meghan Markle into it. I'm like, why can't Meghan have her own show and Pam have her own show?

• 1:02:11Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I'm pretty sure like, they're both repping off Martha Stewart.

• 1:02:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally. Who just came out with a skincare line at the ripe age of like 84. So women, women just stay working.

• 1:02:24Hannah Berner?

  Women stay working, they stay winning. Um, yeah, I'm like obsessed with Martha. If you haven't watched her documentary, you have to watch it. But also back to the Beckhams, they had an amazing documentary.

• 1:02:36Hannah Berner?

  Part of me with all this drama just makes it seem like easily if they had a reality TV show, it could be the next Kardashians. But I don't think that's what they want for, for their life. Even though at this point it is a reality TV show.

• 1:02:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the thing though, I feel like reality TV in general is kind of like switching into a different direction because like, it's not as raw and real as it used to be because there was no social media. Now there's social media. I almost feel like reality TV should revert back to like being, not revert back because it never was, but reality TV moving forward, I want it to be boring. Like I want to watch, I want to watch Liam and Pam just in the kitchen making Sunday morning pancakes. I only need a 20 minute app.

• 1:03:26Hannah Berner?

  You're so right. You don't want to overproduce.

• 1:03:28Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I don't want to, and I don't want it over stimulating. I want like, I want vlogs on the TV. I want to be able to go to Hulu and be like Pamela Anderson's vlogs and it be like different things she does throughout the day.

• 1:03:44Hannah Berner?

  Put a TV in, put a live camera in her living room, big brother at Pamela Anderson reading a magazine.

• 1:03:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Imagine inviting people over to your home and you're setting the ambiance with Pamela Anderson reading a magazine. I love it.

• 1:03:57Hannah Berner?

  And not out loud, just in her head.

• 1:03:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I think that's a million dollar idea.

• 1:04:01Hannah Berner?

  I think that's great.

• 1:04:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I think we're on to something.

• 1:04:04Hannah Berner?

  This is how you know we're in our 30s. We're like, let's have some calm stuff on the TV.

• 1:04:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like, literally, I was in the car the other day and I turned the radio down and I go, "It's freaking loud."

• 1:04:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, "Oh my god, I'm gonna blow my eardrums out. Hello? How could, how could one even concentrate with such loud music?"

• 1:04:30Hannah Berner?

  This is why I love having an old husband. Like, the other day, I was like, tapping my knee too much and he was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." And I'm like, "I respect that. We need peace and calmness and my anxious knee is ruining the mood."

• 1:04:44Paige DeSorbo?

  You just reminded me of something. I got a vibration plate.

• 1:04:48Hannah Berner?

  So things are going well?

• 1:04:50Paige DeSorbo?

  So...

• 1:04:51Hannah Berner?

  This is my... Here's the thing.

• 1:04:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a marketer's dream. Okay, look, if you're trying to sell to a demographic, sell it to me. Cause I'm gonna buy it, okay? I'm gonna test it out, I'm gonna try it.

• 1:05:06Hannah Berner?

  This is my problem. I don't know how to properly test anything out. And I don't do anything, like, consistent enough, or like, like, even with like, my diet. If someone's like, "Oh, do you wanna see if you're allergic to dairy? Just like, cut out dairy and..." No. Like, I'm not a science experiment. I'm a human. And I make mistakes. And I don't know what a fucking carb is. And I'm not Googling it. And I don't know if butter's dairy.

• 1:05:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Our new tagline. "I'm not a science experiment, I'm a human."

• 1:05:34Hannah Berner?

  I'm a human with a thirst for knowledge that is unquenchable. I, not gonna lie, I've seen the vibration plate. It looks like it feels good. Like, it looks like it would free me from, like, past traumas.

• 1:05:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I'm gonna be honest, the first day I went on it, they said, like, do it like 10 minutes of the day. First day I went on it, I, uh, I didn't stop shitting for like, two hours. I mean, that, that thing loosened something up.

• 1:06:01Hannah Berner?

  That's what happened to me with the trampoline. I jumped twice and was like, "Gotta go to the bathroom."

• 1:06:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, "Okay, gotta, like, gotta get the hell out of here."

• 1:06:10Hannah Berner?

  It's literally like when you play with a baby and like, you feel like you shake them up too much and then they just puke and you're like, "Oh shit, sorry, just shook a Diet Coke."

• 1:06:20Hannah Berner?

  Wait, okay, so it's a laxative?

• 1:06:23Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a laxative. I don't know what, it's just supposed to be good for like overall health. I don't know. I have all the gadgets here.

• 1:06:31Hannah Berner?

  My favorite thing that we talked about this weekend was about adrenaline and how we talked about how if you really want to feel adrenaline,

• 1:06:41Hannah Berner?

  go through your man's phone. There's no, I don't care if you're jumping out of a fucking plane, go through a man's phone and you will have diarrhea.

• 1:06:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I told Hannah the story that I went through an ex-boyfriend's phone, but every time I would go through his phone, I'd have to do it in the bathroom on the toilet because I would shit myself because I would be so

• 1:07:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I was gonna get caught or that like, also, he had some shit on his phone, no pun intended. So like I needed time to sift through.

• 1:07:12Hannah Berner?

  It was just, look, you were gonna do it in the bathroom anyway, but it was convenient that it was there because your heart rate came up and your body thought you were getting chased by a lion and it shut itself.

• 1:07:22Paige DeSorbo?

  And like, it took one time for me to not be near a bathroom to know that the next time I have to run to the bathroom.

• 1:07:30Hannah Berner?

  No, your body's like, I need to lose everything that's inside me right now because we need to run for our life.

• 1:07:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so nervous. And also, I'm never against going through a man's phone. Like, I, I think that all women should legally be allowed to go through their man's phone, but make sure you're near a bathroom. Things get crazy.

• 1:07:51Hannah Berner?

  Thank you Duncan for sponsoring this app. We love you so much.

• 1:08:04Speaker 07

  Oh, look. You just got added to a meeting about coordinating another meeting to prepare for the pre-meeting ahead of the follow-up meeting, which will, of course, require a recap meeting. And then, another meeting. Hit your booking point? Book with Southwest and enter airplane mode.

• 1:08:32Speaker 08

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