Giggling about martinis, sucking, and small talk

The one where Paige tries to convince Hannah to get bangs.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a big believer that sometimes a new workout outfit is all the motivation you need. And luckily, Abercrombie just teamed up with Berry's to bring a YPB collection made for the red room. I'm talking about YPB's Sculpt Luxe leggings, shorts, double-layered bras, and the new 6 a.m. jacket. Basically, everything you need to go from looking like you're just trying to survive a workout class to looking like you're achieving your personal best. Shop YPB by Abercrombie in the app, online, and in stores, and bring your personal best to the red room.

• 0:32Hannah Berner?

  I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.

• 0:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, so many people have my location.

• 0:40Hannah Berner?

  And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.

• 0:44Paige DeSorbo?

  And if your friend doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're calling the FBI.

• 0:49Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. And even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?

• 1:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.

• 1:05Hannah Berner?

  And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat, so once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.

• 1:14Paige DeSorbo?

  And you know, I love alone time, and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.

• 1:18Hannah Berner?

  Especially after being social. Like, I love everyone, but like...

• 1:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Please, nobody speak to me.

• 1:22Hannah Berner?

  Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising, and you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.

• 1:36Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's the thing. It's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.

• 1:43Hannah Berner?

  And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.

• 1:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Which truly, women deserve.

• 1:48Hannah Berner?

  We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.

• 1:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt, for real.

• 1:54Hannah Berner?

  And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.

• 2:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And we spend enough of our lives being on.

• 2:06Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 2:06Paige DeSorbo?

  We don't need to be on in the car.

• 2:09Hannah Berner?

  Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You can check out the full terms in the app.

• 2:21Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a discount.

• 2:22Hannah Berner?

  And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.

• 2:28Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Afogato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock? Whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee, or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Afogato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat-yourself moment in the middle of the day, and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted Caramel or Afogato Creme filling.

• 3:10Paige DeSorbo?

  So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Afogato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite.

• 3:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, gigglers?

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Gary, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 3:37Hannah Berner?

  What's up, my Gilmore gigglers? Happy 20th anniversary. No, I haven't watched Gilmore Girls, but I can appreciate a woman in the arts.

• 3:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you should have been in a ballet flat that's so Gilmore Girls-coded.

• 3:48Hannah Berner?

  I took a ballet flat on the subway.

• 3:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Ballsy.

• 3:53Hannah Berner?

  And I realized that I need to shave the top of my foot while on the subway in my ballet flat.

• 3:58Paige DeSorbo?

  So subway-coded. Question, when you drink a water bottle, do you put your lip in it, or do you put your whole mouth over it?

• 4:05Hannah Berner?

  Wait, let's see.

• 4:06Paige DeSorbo?

  That's a really important question, because I...

• 4:08Hannah Berner?

  This is great for our audio listeners.

• 4:09Paige DeSorbo?

  No, because I recently changed up how I do it.

• 4:12Hannah Berner?

  I'm a sucker.

• 4:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:14Hannah Berner?

  I'm not, I'm a sucker.

• 4:17Hannah Berner?

  And I don't mean that in a sexual way at all. It doesn't mean I'm...

• 4:19Paige DeSorbo?

  This is a scientific, real life.

• 4:21Hannah Berner?

  This is scientific. I like the water to hit my teeth, and then I suck it in.

• 4:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so I used to be, I used to put my lip inside and drink like a normal person.

• 4:29Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but that takes focus.

• 4:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it does. Now, I put my whole mouth on it, and I squeeze the bottle so that the water just pours into my mouth, and I don't have to even suck.

• 4:46Paige DeSorbo?

  It's harder with smaller water bottles.

• 4:49Hannah Berner?

  You're literally like that kid who is playing soccer and just was running around, like, didn't even touch the ball, and then goes over to the sideline and is like, "I need some water," and then he's like...

• 5:00Paige DeSorbo?

  And then I puke.

• 5:01Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 5:02Paige DeSorbo?

  One time, I was on a softball team for like four weeks, and I quit because the outfit was disgusting. But also, I hit my own nose on like one of the bars, like on the fence. Like, I just hurt myself doing nothing, not playing in the game, just like sitting on the bench. Like, I hurt myself, and I remember going up to my mom, being like, "This is the dumbest thing ever. I'm not doing it anymore."

• 5:24Hannah Berner?

  Well, I love your boundaries. Can I just call you out for a second? We're at the SiriusXM building, which is huge.

• 5:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Huge. This is not our particular studio, because we're getting our vibes. We're like picking out rug colors, like, we're doing samples this weekend, but this is gonna be the vibe.

• 5:42Hannah Berner?

  I'm in the Lower East Side, and I'm like, I can't be late for the first ever recording. So I decided to take the subway, because, look, you can't go wrong with the subway. I mean, you can't... Well, okay, I'm gonna be honest. I did walk into the wrong subway.

• 5:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes it's confusing.

• 5:57Hannah Berner?

  It was going downtown.

• 5:58Paige DeSorbo?

  There's nothing worse than...

• 5:59Hannah Berner?

  That's just part of my process with the subway.

• 6:00Paige DeSorbo?

  When you're on one side, and you're like, "I gotta be on the other side."

• 6:03Hannah Berner?

  Also, I'm like, why don't we say uptown or downtown? Why do I have to guess? But I digress. This is niche New York problems. But I get here, and Grace and I, first, I'm like, I love being before Paige. Like, it's my favorite thing.

• 6:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 6:15Hannah Berner?

  Because it's ones in a blue moon. Who came up with that? Blue, what's... Anyway.

• 6:20Paige DeSorbo?

  A blue moon is rare.

• 6:22Hannah Berner?

  You with your turtleneck saying, "A blue moon is rare."

• 6:25Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't know the phases of the moon. I got nothing else to talk to you about. You want to talk about nimbus clouds? Yeah, I can. So, why am I sitting like, I'm a different person now. I'm serious.

• 6:36Hannah Berner?

  Because you're serious, and you're wearing a turtleneck, and you look like you're judging me.

• 6:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm wearing a Daphne turtleneck, because they're so frickin' comfy.

• 6:44Hannah Berner?

  Plug it.

• 6:44Paige DeSorbo?

  And then I just, I have my little French shoes on.

• 6:48Hannah Berner?

  So you like your outfit. You're happy to be here.

• 6:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I love my outfit. I'm happy to be here.

• 6:52Hannah Berner?

  And so, we're waiting outside, and I'm like, I can't wait to rub it in her little face that I've been waiting for her. I love doing a little snarky comment when she comes, like, "Oh, look who decided to show up."

• 7:03Hannah Berner?

  "Look who decided to roll in." So, you're not answering, and it looks, I have your location now. And like, it looks like you're around us, and you're just not answering.

• 7:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Circling.

• 7:15Hannah Berner?

  Waiting 10 minutes.

• 7:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 7:17Hannah Berner?

  Finally, she just responds with a text message in the elevator. "How did you break into this highly secure building?" Because we were waiting with the SiriusXM people who were like, "There's a process. You have to check in," all this stuff. I go, somehow Paige is already there.

• 7:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you know that this is the building that they filmed Devil Wears Prado, and Miranda Priestly walks into the elevator and everyone gets out? So when I walk into this building, there's other things in this building, too. When I walk into this building, I go Miranda mode. I know exactly what to do at the counter.

• 7:48Hannah Berner?

  I don't respond to my friend's calls.

• 7:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I have my ID ready. I go through. Well, also, we're new employees, so I met other employees of Sirius on the sales team, so I'm chatting with them. We're getting in the same elevator. I'm cosplaying.

• 8:04Hannah Berner?

  Wait, you love the first day of school.

• 8:07Paige DeSorbo?

  That's what I feel like.

• 8:10Hannah Berner?

  I came up with this outfit right before. How long have you had this plan?

• 8:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Last night, when I went to bed, I was thinking about it, like, what am I gonna wear to see... And it's getting chilly. It's truly fall in New York.

• 8:20Hannah Berner?

  And guys, we partied last night.

• 8:22Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we partied. Also, wait, before we get into last night.

• 8:26Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 8:26Paige DeSorbo?

  When I was on my way here, it was such a good omen, because, also, it's like morning time. It's like early right now. It's 9:30, but, whatever.

• 8:36Hannah Berner?

  It's about to be 10:00 any second.

• 8:38Paige DeSorbo?

  You know how like sometimes, like, when it's like a busy street, or like, especially during rush hour traffic, there will be just cops like parked, and like, traffic cops, but also like other cops, whatever. I'm like a bunch of cars behind, and I know that there's like congestion up there, but I can't see what it is.

• 8:54Hannah Berner?

  I love when you say congestion. Congestion.

• 8:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And the cop comes over his radio, like, he's in his car, but he's trying to like get people to go the way, whatever. I don't know, whatever. He's in his car, and he just goes, "Way to fuck it up for everyone. Good job." And in my heart, I'm like, I love this goddamn place. I love the city. I love all these people.

• 9:19Hannah Berner?

  Thank you for, somebody said it.

• 9:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, one cop in the South needs to say that, and I think they'd find unity down there. I think one person needs to be real, past the Mason Dixon.

• 9:32Hannah Berner?

  That's like on the subway when they're like, "If someone else puts their hand in the closing door, I'm gonna freak the fuck out," and everyone's like, "Hallelujah. Thank you."

• 9:43Paige DeSorbo?

  There's nothing better than when collectively you're annoyed by someone, and someone volunteers as tribute to tell that person, "Everyone here hates you."

• 9:52Hannah Berner?

  That's my favorite story, when, it's not my favorite story of all time, but, you know, you ever like, someone starts doing construction at like midnight, and you're like, "That's definitely illegal."

• 10:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, New York, I don't think it is in New York City. They like do it...

• 10:04Hannah Berner?

  There's some weird-ass rules. I just know that someone was like drilling at like midnight, and you just had to wait like 10 seconds, and someone was like, "Shut the fuck up." I'm like, "Thank you." Like, that's how we help people.

• 10:17Paige DeSorbo?

  It's community.

• 10:18Hannah Berner?

  Like, someone has to curse someone. It's community. And you feel like they care about your sanity, their sanity.

• 10:24Paige DeSorbo?

  There's nothing more unified than hating the same person. And then when it's a person causing strife between everyone, it's just, it's a commonality.

• 10:35Hannah Berner?

  Shout out New York City.

• 10:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Shout out New York City.

• 10:37Hannah Berner?

  Love letter to the city in the fall.

• 10:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm obsessed. Okay, let's talk about last night, because it was such a journey.

• 10:45Hannah Berner?

  It was a journey. So, next week, shit's going down. And it's actually, like, there's like announcements and stuff. And it actually annoys me, because I'm really bad at lying and keeping secrets. So this whole podcast, I don't know what to talk about, because I'm just like, "Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it," but that's all you could think about.

• 11:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I haven't thought about it at once.

• 11:04Hannah Berner?

  Look, you have other stuff going on, I think. But I'm just really excited for next week, so just letting you guys know this, we're gonna surprise you with some stuff. But, um, last night was the Sirius up-fronts. How would you describe an up-front for someone who's not familiar? Cause I wasn't.

• 11:20Paige DeSorbo?

  An up-front is basically like, I think of it in terms of TV. Every TV network has an up-front and it's basically like every advertiser that pays for ads on that network goes to the up-fronts. To see if they wanna give money to that network again.

• 11:37Hannah Berner?

  And it's very formal and it's like 600 executives.

• 11:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 11:42Hannah Berner?

  Long time and everyone just introducing themselves. It's very corporate.

• 11:46Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like three hours.

• 11:46Hannah Berner?

  So they were like, you guys could do whatever you want for four minutes. And I said, that's actually my prime amount of time.

• 11:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm good in small doses.

• 11:53Hannah Berner?

  That is my small dose perfection. So Paige and I made a fake PowerPoint. And-

• 12:00Paige DeSorbo?

  It was a very real PowerPoint.

• 12:02Hannah Berner?

  It was, we, we did a great job.

• 12:05Paige DeSorbo?

  We did a phenomenal job.

• 12:06Hannah Berner?

  I put my hands in like a triangle like they do on Shark Tank.

• 12:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I joined the Illuminati after.

• 12:11Hannah Berner?

  You tried to sell them the new iPhone.

• 12:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I said, she flips, but hamburger style.

• 12:16Hannah Berner?

  They go, hey, you're supposed to introduce Giggles Squad and you just talked about a fake iPhone flip phone.

• 12:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I think Apple was there. They were like, we don't claim her.

• 12:26Hannah Berner?

  So that was actually so fun. Also, we loved our outfits.

• 12:29Paige DeSorbo?

  We loved our outfits and one person that we saw, it's also like, it's funny because you don't know people, but you're all at the same event. So it's like, hey, like I know you. And one of those people was Conan O'Brien.

• 12:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Who I'm 10 toes down for.

• 12:48Hannah Berner?

  So Conan O'Brien, can't miss him.

• 12:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Can't miss him.

• 12:51Hannah Berner?

  He's like 6'10",

• 12:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 12:53Hannah Berner?

  Red-haired. But we walk into the room and like, my immediate thing is like, I don't wanna bother Conan.

• 12:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm not bothering him.

• 12:59Hannah Berner?

  Conan's busy.

• 13:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I respect him.

• 13:01Hannah Berner?

  You know, he like wrote on The Simpsons.

• 13:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like I'm not-

• 13:03Hannah Berner?

  He's been doing comedy from day one.

• 13:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not annoying him with my bullshit, you know?

• 13:07Hannah Berner?

  No, I like, I don't wanna ruin his vibe with my vibe. But he sees us, he scurries up to us and immediately just starts doing bits.

• 13:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:15Hannah Berner?

  We start yes ending with Conan.

• 13:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, we're riffing.

• 13:19Hannah Berner?

  We're riffing, having so much fun.

• 13:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Once I bring up your outfit to you, just know, I like you. Like, if I don't like you, I'm not bringing up a part of your art-

• 13:32Hannah Berner?

  So she complimented his, um-

• 13:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Leather jacket.

• 13:34Hannah Berner?

  Leather jacket. And then he had a whole-

• 13:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Bit about it.

• 13:36Hannah Berner?

  Bit about it. And you love a bit about clothes. Like, you're like, this is my kinda comedy.

• 13:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:40Hannah Berner?

  And I remember like someone had to take us to like meet someone else. And they were like, we're so sorry, we pulled, we pulled you away from Conan. I remember being like, that was, it was literally about to, we were running out of material.

• 13:53Paige DeSorbo?

  We were running out of things to talk about. That is the worst feeling when you're at an event and you're like, okay, well, I can't walk away.

• 14:01Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 14:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, what do you say? You have to pray that it naturally like, he gets spun around because someone else is trying to talk to him or like someone comes up to you. It's a very, it's a dance.

• 14:11Hannah Berner?

  We had-

• 14:13Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a tango. It's a tango.

• 14:15Hannah Berner?

  We were pulled away, thank God, at our, at our height. Like, we had good momentum with him. And then, we were with our parents.

• 14:23Paige DeSorbo?

  A tear could come from my eye. My dad woke up this morning and he goes, I just wanna let you know, I, I don't have fun that much. And that was so much fun. I had a great time. We sat-

• 14:36Hannah Berner?

  I'm not a big fan of fun. I don't do fun very often.

• 14:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, because his natural like response to truly anything I say is, who gives a shit? You know, so that's like his default response when you're talking to my dad. It's like, who gives a shit?

• 14:50Hannah Berner?

  Which is so nice to have around, cause you know, you get in your head and then to have Gary just be like, who gives a flying fuck?

• 14:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like he doesn't know about things, cause he's at work.

• 15:00Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 15:00Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, like he's working.

• 15:02Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 15:02Paige DeSorbo?

  We got to the table for dinner and we sat. No one spoke on where we were, who was sitting where, and we sat perfectly. Me and you sat across from each other. Our mom sat across from each other.

• 15:15Hannah Berner?

  And our dad sat across from each other. And we weren't sitting next to our dads, cause I'm gonna know about you, when I sit directly next to my dad, we wreak havoc. He's like poking me, like we need my mom in between us.

• 15:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm always to my mom's left. Like, I must, yeah, like I'm not sitting, no, sitting next to my mom.

• 15:33Hannah Berner?

  If you're sitting next to your dad, like you're not, who's protecting you? Like, that's chaos. But you, we get to this restaurant in Midtown and Sirius XM stuff was downtown.

• 15:44Paige DeSorbo?

  We were being, being really fancy last night and the moment I knew we were being really fancy last night was right when we walked in and I saw Heather Dubrow. I go, yeah, we're fancy. Like, that, that couldn't have made me feel better.

• 15:58Hannah Berner?

  This is the New York City name drop episode, but like, it was, New York is such a small-

• 16:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Place.

• 16:05Hannah Berner?

  Place. Also, it was a Tuesday night, like Heather Dubrow just like-

• 16:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Just popping in there.

• 16:10Hannah Berner?

  Well, Heather Dubrow, by the way, there's something about meeting a Bravo celebrity. I can't explain it. It's like you've been through NOM.

• 16:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 16:17Hannah Berner?

  And you see them like later in their life, just at a supermarket and you're like, do you remember NOM?

• 16:26Hannah Berner?

  And she's like, I've been there. But she goes, I just shot my reunion. And we were like, you've been shot? Are you, how are you walking right now?

• 16:34Paige DeSorbo?

  You wanna know why I love her so much? Because earlier in that night, remember I looked at you and I was like, why was I worried about my outfit? Everyone else should have been more worried about their outfits. This is a corporate event.

• 16:47Hannah Berner?

  So Paige goes to the corporate event and she goes, did no one get dressed for this?

• 16:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Did no one read the attire memo?

• 16:53Hannah Berner?

  She goes, I'm wearing Yves Saint Laurent and-

• 16:57Paige DeSorbo?

  So then when we saw Heather Dubrow, we were talking about something for outfits and she goes, do you wanna see what everyone wore? And I go, yeah. And then in my head, I said to her, I go, why would you ever worry about your outfit? And she goes, oh, I don't.

• 17:12Hannah Berner?

  But it's funny, cause we walk into this corporate event and I'm stressed about like the PowerPoint working and the clicker and like making sure that whatever. And Paige is like, oh, I-

• 17:21Paige DeSorbo?

  My shoes were cutting off my turtleneck.

• 17:22Hannah Berner?

  No, but you were like, my outfit's so good compared to the rest of the scene. So we meet Heather Dubrow. She was so sweet, so, oh, I love, oh, so sweet. She goes back to her family. And we were all so sat in a crazy, while we were waiting for our table, sat like right where the door is.

• 17:42Paige DeSorbo?

  At the front door, yeah.

• 17:42Hannah Berner?

  I felt like the host of the restaurant. Like, people were coming in and we were like, hey, welcome to the restaurant.

• 17:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you so much for making a reservation tonight.

• 17:47Hannah Berner?

  You need water or Diet Coke or drinks, they'll help you in the front.

• 17:50Paige DeSorbo?

  The actual general manager was like, stop.

• 17:53Hannah Berner?

  You ever at a party and yeah, you just turn into the host, even though you're not the host, but you're like, know how to help out and you're like, bathroom is here, people are putting their coats there.

• 18:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Everyone has one friend that pretended to be the bouncer at a club and was looking at people's IDs and you think it's like the funniest thing.

• 18:07Hannah Berner?

  What's the password? Um, so that was me last night at this fancy event. So then we look up, Conan O'Brien walks in.

• 18:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, who we had just had a bit with.

• 18:19Hannah Berner?

  We just had a bit with. So now I'm realizing, this man, we randomly picked the same restaurant in all of New York City.

• 18:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 18:25Hannah Berner?

  And then he walks in and we're like, oh, and the bit is back, baby.

• 18:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I knew, I knew that was the place to go after that event.

• 18:32Hannah Berner?

  I mean, you're just so tasteful and cool.

• 18:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I felt really tasteful.

• 18:36Hannah Berner?

  And that's why I have you in my phone.

• 18:38Paige DeSorbo?

  So we're sitting at our table, we're still doing bits with Conan O'Brien. Then we're like, we can't see his table from our table, but me and Hannah look at each other and we're like, we have to send the table something.

• 18:48Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. But then I panicked, cause I was like, it's a good idea in theory. It's like when you get someone a gift, but then it's not the right gift and then you look worse.

• 18:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 18:56Hannah Berner?

  So I was like, what if fancy, like cool people do?

• 18:59Paige DeSorbo?

  And we were like, well, we'll just send them a round of drinks. But then we were like, it's 2026, not everyone drinks and you don't wanna be like rude.

• 19:06Hannah Berner?

  Cause that happens, cause like Dez is sober and I can't tell you the amount of times people come to our table and get us a huge drink and Dez and I are like, oh.

• 19:14Paige DeSorbo?

  So I said, oh, pigs in a blanket on the menu.

• 19:17Hannah Berner?

  Perfect.

• 19:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Nobody hates, nobody's against pigs in a blanket.

• 19:21Hannah Berner?

  Nobody sees a pig in a blanket and doesn't go, hehe.

• 19:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, oh, pig in a blanket.

• 19:26Hannah Berner?

  Pig in a blanket. That's hilarious.

• 19:28Paige DeSorbo?

  We sent him pigs in a blanket to his table.

• 19:31Hannah Berner?

  Cause he wasn't giving vegan.

• 19:34Paige DeSorbo?

  He doesn't give vegetarian.

• 19:36Hannah Berner?

  He doesn't give vegetarian, even though he's from LA.

• 19:38Paige DeSorbo?

  And then he sent back, the waitress came over and said Conan would like to pay for your guys' dessert.

• 19:46Hannah Berner?

  Which we love.

• 19:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, which we love.

• 19:48Hannah Berner?

  And then he came, and then he came over to say goodbye to us. It was just so kind. So like, we take back all the things we said about men in comedy. Um, some of you guys are doing good out there.

• 19:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Of a certain age.

• 19:59Hannah Berner?

  Of a-

• 19:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Of a certain age.

• 20:00Hannah Berner?

  Yep. Once they get a little tired and their testosterone slows down a bit.

• 20:04Paige DeSorbo?

  I love him. I'm like, let's kiki.

• 20:07Hannah Berner?

  Obsessed with our king.

• 20:08Paige DeSorbo?

  There is nothing I love more than a tired man.

• 20:12Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah, cause he's already won like the Mark Twain Award. Like, he's already done it all.

• 20:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Mark Twain?

• 20:18Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 20:18Paige DeSorbo?

  At 9:30 AM?

• 20:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Gun to my head, someone said, what's the Mark Twain Award? I have no idea.

• 20:28Hannah Berner?

  It's like, it's a niche comedy award.

• 20:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Like a writing award?

• 20:34Hannah Berner?

  It's the kind of award that you hear and you go, I don't know what it's for, but it sounds fucking important.

• 20:39Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, wow, that's impressive.

• 20:39Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 20:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Mark Twain?

• 20:40Hannah Berner?

  The Walt Whitman Award? Like, that's the kind of shit, like, we've never been in those conversations before.

• 20:45Paige DeSorbo?

  The Picasso Award.

• 20:45Hannah Berner?

  The Picasso Award, the Michelangelo Award.

• 20:50Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, the holidays are coming, Arm and Hammer, Hardball, Cat Litter and I are making sure all my fellow cat parents are guest-ready. You guys know I'm obsessed with cats, I'm a cat missionary, and make sure everyone in my life has a cat, and I'm doing really well at it. I foster, and I'm constantly trying to help cats find homes, and around the holidays, I basically want everyone I know to fall in love with a cat and take one home. But, the holidays, you guys are hosting, you have your cat, and you have such a to-do list, you know? Hiding things in closets, pretending you're clean, pulling out the snacks. One thing I do not need to add to that list is worrying about cat smell. Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter keeps odors under control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy, so that part is already handled in the background.

• 21:33Hannah Berner?

  So then, I can focus on my guests and maybe convince one of them they need a cat. For all my fellow cat parents, be guest-ready with Arm and Hammer Hardball Cat Litter. Find it now at Walmart or Amazon. One thing about me, I love a protein bar. I'm not going out into the world without my emergency protein bar. It saved me in so many situations, I can't even tell you. But when I'm eating a protein bar, it can't taste like I'm being punished, you know? For trying to eat healthy.

• 21:59Paige DeSorbo?

  That's why I'm obsessed with Stars and Honey. They basically looked at protein bars and said, hmm, why are we choosing between something that supports our goals and something we actually want to eat? Each bar has 15 grams of protein and only 4 grams of sugar, but the flavors are giving dessert, honey. Iced Lemon Cookie, Mint Chocolate Chip, Red Velvet Peanut Butter Mousse? Hello? Who even knew peanut butter could be a mousse?

• 22:23Hannah Berner?

  Because the best habits are the ones you can actually stick to. And consistency is a lot easier when your better-for-you snack is actually something you crave. Their standard is literally, would you still want to eat it if it weren't a protein bar? And that's the energy I need.

• 22:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Stars and Honey protein bars are now available at starsandhoney.com or Target stores nationwide. Order online or grab a box on your next Target run. I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises, I remember, maybe a pull-up, something I saved on Instagram, but there's never really any planning behind it. That's what I've been loving about the Ladder app. I open it and my workout is already planned for me by an expert coach. I know exactly what exercises I'm doing, how many sets, how many reps, and the in-ear coaching gives me cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like having a personal trainer in my headphones. I love using this whenever I'm in hotels.

• 23:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been using it for a while now, and I see and also feel myself getting stronger each day because of Ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now, so that will definitely be in my next workout venture. And for less than $1 a day, you can't beat it. And I love that Ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets, because I can actually see my progress, instead of wondering whether what I'm doing is working. Plus, you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last. Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned for you, and if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan.

• 24:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Use my link and get a free seven-day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more often than just a rough patch, you might need more than just talk therapy or self-help tools. Talkiatory connects you with real psychiatric care, so you can actually understand what's going on and get a treatment plan that works for you. Talkiatory is a 100% online psychiatric practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more. Unlike therapy online platforms, Talkiatory is psychiatry. You're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when appropriate.

• 24:47Paige DeSorbo?

  You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. And because you continue with the same provider, you're not starting over each visit. Your treatment can evolve with you, so you're actually making progress over time. And with more than 300,000 patients that have already found high-quality psychiatric care through Talkiatory. Head to talkiatory.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatory.com/giggly.

• 25:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, can we talk about Dancing with the Stars?

• 25:35Hannah Berner?

  The one night that we are running around the city, and I have Haley texting me updates just because, like, it's the first one I didn't watch.

• 25:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I knew that was a fuck-ass show.

• 25:46Hannah Berner?

  Let me, Paige, the voting system is not...

• 25:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Rigged.

• 25:50Hannah Berner?

  I don't know if it's rigged, even though it is weird that they're like, we're not gonna tell you the algorithm or how we did it.

• 25:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 25:56Hannah Berner?

  And we're not gonna tell you who's actually in the bottom three. The problem with it is there's too many variables. Everyone does a different dance, so it's like you're not even rated on the same dances. Everyone has a different pro who all has different levels of popularity.

• 26:10Paige DeSorbo?

  And everyone hates women.

• 26:11Hannah Berner?

  And everyone hates women.

• 26:13Paige DeSorbo?

  So, we're fighting that. I don't watch the other dancers, so I'm completely unbiased.

• 26:19Hannah Berner?

  You don't know anyone else on the show.

• 26:20Paige DeSorbo?

  But just by the looks, I know my girl was better than who was in the bottom with her.

• 26:25Hannah Berner?

  And people are very upset because, okay, every season, there's a Guillermo type. Like, Andy Richter was the previous one. It's basically like an older man that, like...

• 26:33Paige DeSorbo?

  That gets infantilized.

• 26:35Hannah Berner?

  Yes, and everyone's like, he can walk, like, this is amazing. And they're very funny, these guys, they are funny. But at the end of the day, Ciara's improving every week, which is what you should be judged for.

• 26:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is the point of the show.

• 26:46Hannah Berner?

  So, the fact that Guillermo's still in it, people are very upset, but you guys have to understand, this is a Dancing with the Stars thing that happens every year. That that, like, funny guy makes it farther than they technically should.

• 26:58Paige DeSorbo?

  And I love when life imitates art. No, truly. No, truly, because then what's the point of the show?

• 27:08Hannah Berner?

  But then, um, Giada DeLorenz, DeLorenz...

• 27:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Who got, didn't she get voted off first?

• 27:13Hannah Berner?

  She got voted off for first or second.

• 27:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Whatever.

• 27:16Hannah Berner?

  And she's older than Guillermo, but everyone's like, we're not a fucking dance, Giada!

• 27:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:22Hannah Berner?

  Everyone's like, what the fuck was that pirouette?

• 27:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And, but, so Guillermo's, I take it, is not good at dancing?

• 27:29Hannah Berner?

  No, I mean, he's trying his best, but like, eh, like...

• 27:32Paige DeSorbo?

  At this point in the competition, he should be further along, is way more intense.

• 27:37Hannah Berner?

  Insane. I'm not saying Guillermo, like, Guillermo is getting better.

• 27:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:40Hannah Berner?

  But it's just like...

• 27:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Not at the rate Ciara was getting better.

• 27:42Hannah Berner?

  What I've learned from Dancing with the Stars is that, when you're like in the middle, which is where Ciara was, people will vote for people who they think are at the bottom more. So, there could have been a lot of people that just assumed Ciara was safe. Because, like, she wasn't at the bottom. But...

• 27:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, and you want to know what? If I'm a producer on that show, I'm like, hey, maybe we keep the really hot girl. No, truly. Like, I don't know, maybe this is what the fans want to see. A gorgetina girl with a space bun and a diamond part? Like, yeah, I'm keeping her on the show. She's giving outfits, she's giving, like, she's giving costumes.

• 28:26Hannah Berner?

  But she's giving personality, she's giving lore, she's giving...

• 28:29Paige DeSorbo?

  She's giving background story.

• 28:31Hannah Berner?

  Yes!

• 28:32Paige DeSorbo?

  She was a wizard last night, like, hello?

• 28:34Hannah Berner?

  But in my heart of hearts, she, we're so fucking proud of her. Like, regardless of what she did, where she ends up for a second, third, whatever, it's like, she did fucking amazing.

• 28:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 28:46Hannah Berner?

  And she was only getting better, but now I hope she does go on bedrest.

• 28:51Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I know my girl is sleepy.

• 28:52Hannah Berner?

  People don't realize, I think since the shit went down, I don't think she's...

• 28:57Paige DeSorbo?

  She's had a minute.

• 28:57Hannah Berner?

  Had a day off.

• 28:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she hasn't.

• 28:59Hannah Berner?

  She was in Fiji, babe. And you know Fiji is not a walk in the park.

• 29:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Not for the weak or low-heart-rated people.

• 29:07Hannah Berner?

  Why do you feel like she went from Fiji to the studio?

• 29:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she went from Fiji to the Hamptons, to the studio.

• 29:14Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my god!

• 29:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no, no, she needs a rest.

• 29:16Hannah Berner?

  She needs a rest.

• 29:17Paige DeSorbo?

  She needs, like, a cat sanctuary week. Can I say something that I've thought about intensely for the past hour?

• 29:27Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 29:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I think you should get bangs.

• 29:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Like a Daisy Edgar Jones bang.

• 29:34Hannah Berner?

  Is it cuz I have a big round forehead?

• 29:36Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no.

• 29:39Hannah Berner?

  No to having a big round forehead, or no to bangs?

• 29:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No to, no to, I don't think that you have a big round forehead.

• 29:45Hannah Berner?

  Do you know I didn't know I had a big round forehead, you know who told me?

• 29:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Your mom?

• 29:48Hannah Berner?

  My nana.

• 29:49Paige DeSorbo?

  My mom told me this one time.

• 29:51Hannah Berner?

  I love how round your forehead is. It's so beautifully round.

• 29:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Thanks, Nana, I'm gonna off myself.

• 29:58Hannah Berner?

  Do you know when you look in the mirror, you don't know the shape of your forehead, so then I turned my forehead, I said, oh.

• 30:02Paige DeSorbo?

  That's almost like the time that someone broke up with you on like Christmas Eve and your nana looked at you and goes, "He doesn't have a job." "Why are you upset? Jobless." "Hair, eat something."

• 30:14Hannah Berner?

  And that's when you just brought up the most painful time in my life, she goes, "Do you remember? Do you, huh, do you remember?"

• 30:19Paige DeSorbo?

  One time I had bangs and then I grew them out and I was like, oh, I don't know if I should like recut bangs and my mom goes, "Well, I don't know who told you you can have bangs, you have that disorderful forehead." I go, I go, "Mom, I'm seven."

• 30:34Hannah Berner?

  What does disorderful forehead mean?

• 30:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know, I was too distraught to ask.

• 30:40Hannah Berner?

  Not to brag, but I have my cowlick. And it's hard enough for me to like, get this to look straight, just having like a middle part. So I feel like bangs could be chaotic, I mean, look, let's, let's show the YouTube.

• 30:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I ju- I think it's gorgeous. I think it's stunning. I think it's not a bang like of straight like, new girl, what's her name? Zooey Deschanel bang, it's a Daisy Edgar Joan, half a curtain bang.

• 31:12Hannah Berner?

  I love how you made her singular, Daisy Edgar Joan.

• 31:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Is it Daisy Edgar? It's, it's almost like here, there's no bang, on the side, there's bang.

• 31:21Hannah Berner?

  I don't like being cute. When people see me, they think, they think vixen, they think sex got it, you know? I don't like bangs, it's like,

• 31:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that's not true. That's not true, look at Dakota Johnson, I feel like she gives sex symbol.

• 31:38Hannah Berner?

  You're so right about that, but she almost needs the bangs cuz she's so sexy, it makes her like a little relatable.

• 31:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Be able to get cast in comedy.

• 31:47Hannah Berner?

  You're so fucking right.

• 31:49Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know, I think you should.

• 31:50Hannah Berner?

  Are you saying I'll be cast in a comedy if I go bang?

• 31:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I just think you should think about it. Your hair also, does it grow fast?

• 31:57Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 31:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Bangs are gone in two months.

• 32:00Hannah Berner?

  What about just like a face framing layer that's short at first? Like a face framing layer that starts at my temple? Is that a bang?

• 32:08Paige DeSorbo?

  That's a curtain bang. I love how fast you can say face framing, what was it?

• 32:12Hannah Berner?

  Face framing layer?

• 32:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Face framing layer.

• 32:15Hannah Berner?

  It's cuz I took my Invisalign out, I'm fucking crazy right now, actually,

• 32:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like I'm having a stroke, face framing layer. Okay, I got it.

• 32:21Hannah Berner?

  Do you only first take your Invisalign out and you forget how your teeth or tongue works?

• 32:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Also, don't you feel like when you first take your retainer out, you're like, I miss America?

• 32:28Hannah Berner?

  No, I'm like, look at this.

• 32:30Paige DeSorbo?

  And like, no one's teeth have ever been straighter than in this moment.

• 32:33Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, is this too shiny? Am I like reflecting too hard? Can we talk about like, how Kim tried to roofie my dad?

• 32:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, our parents were drunk last night.

• 32:42Hannah Berner?

  My dad goes, you know, I've never had a martini before. Kim DeSorbo goes,

• 32:48Hannah Berner?

  "Well, we're about to have a fun night," and she's like, but she wasn't even, she was just like, "I like it extra dirty."

• 32:53Paige DeSorbo?

  My mom had two dirty martinis last night, I'd be on the floor, and then my dad low key was like making fun of me, he goes, "Oh, what are you gonna get, another Diet Coke?"

• 33:02Hannah Berner?

  Hey, what's funny is, you guys, we got fully bullied by our parents cuz Paige and I didn't drink, which is funny, we're just not drinkers right now, right?

• 33:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I had to wake up early, like, I, I was like, sorry, you four retired.

• 33:14Hannah Berner?

  Someone has to work in this family, you fucking party animals, like, we, but at one point at 10:30, me and you look at each other, and we had the best night, but you know when you start hitting the wall?

• 33:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's wrap these people up.

• 33:25Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, we gotta get these people home, I was like, do you wanna just call them over and just leave them?

• 33:29Paige DeSorbo?

  No, one more drink and they would've kicked us out.

• 33:31Hannah Berner?

  My dad, my dad doesn't drink, like, he drinks like, like, he also doesn't know about drinking, so like, he'll, he'll drink a Mai Tai, like, he doesn't know what's going on. Um, so then he's like, okay, well, Kim can drink it, I can drink it.

• 33:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Kim can drink.

• 33:48Hannah Berner?

  Kim's a tank.

• 33:49Paige DeSorbo?

  A tank. I, she can drink.

• 33:51Hannah Berner?

  Kim didn't flinch.

• 33:52Paige DeSorbo?

  She didn't flinch.

• 33:54Hannah Berner?

  Kim got more sober.

• 33:55Paige DeSorbo?

  No, she got more intellectual.

• 33:58Hannah Berner?

  She was, she was actually.

• 33:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, she can drink way more than my dad. My dad, it, I know when my dad is on his second drink, Kim could be on her fifth, I have no idea.

• 34:09Hannah Berner?

  I'm obsessed with her.

• 34:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's crazy, and she's a small lady, I don't know why, how she has that tolerance.

• 34:13Hannah Berner?

  My dad's stuffing shrimp in his face, my dad is chugging martinis. Also, let me just say, my dad has gout. The number one rule with gout is do not eat shrimp. The only rule, so then I'm watching, I'm like, this could be the last night I have with my father.

• 34:31Paige DeSorbo?

  My mom at one point goes, "And I'm not in charge of what you eat anymore."

• 34:37Hannah Berner?

  I think with gout, you're also supposed to have meat.

• 34:38Paige DeSorbo?

  She was having a liberating experience.

• 34:40Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, she was like, if he goes, he goes, if he dies, he dies.

• 34:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not in charge anymore.

• 34:44Hannah Berner?

  But also the thing, shout out to my dad, like, you live one life, YOLO, if he's, if you're gonna go, do it eating a shrimp cocktail.

• 34:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 34:52Hannah Berner?

  But I love how the doctor was like, one rule? Just try not to eat shrimp cocktail.

• 34:58Paige DeSorbo?

  No seafood, no alcohol.

• 35:00Hannah Berner?

  Oh, no alcohol too.

• 35:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll get another round.

• 35:04Hannah Berner?

  It's almost like, that's his way of being naughty.

• 35:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Of rebelling.

• 35:08Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like, that's, that was us, our craziest night out, you and my dad had fun chemistry.

• 35:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't tell you what he said to me when he first walked in.

• 35:16Hannah Berner?

  What did he do?

• 35:17Paige DeSorbo?

  When he first walked in, when we were at the event, like into our green room, he said, "I was really excited to see you today because like, I feel like we're," and I go, "We're friends." And he goes, "Yeah, we are, right?" Like, we're, I go, "Yeah, that's my buddy." And I couldn't tell you in that moment because you were like talking to people and then we were like about to go do something, whatever, but I was like, that is so sweet.

• 35:41Hannah Berner?

  He's just the most earnest, but the thing is.

• 35:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Really, you wanna know what he is, he's such a guy.

• 35:46Hannah Berner?

  He's such a boy, but I do have to say, my dad is me.

• 35:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 35:50Hannah Berner?

  So that's why like, I've all,

• 35:52Paige DeSorbo?

  So he likes my humor.

• 35:53Hannah Berner?

  You guys one on one, I'm like, so at one point, you guys are going back and forth, dying laughing, cracking each other up, and it made me really happy.

• 36:03Paige DeSorbo?

  It was very sweet.

• 36:04Hannah Berner?

  And then you loved my mom's outfits, you were really happy with that.

• 36:06Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I just think she's the cutest.

• 36:07Hannah Berner?

  Not my mom putting on a scarf because she had a little cleavage that she wanted to cover.

• 36:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I think she is like, I wanna, you know, when you get cute aggression and you wanna squeeze your cat's head, I wanna do that to your mom's head.

• 36:19Hannah Berner?

  Also, both their moms are walking around with bobs, and they're so little, and I was like, those are fake moms. Like, those are AI moms.

• 36:28Paige DeSorbo?

  AI mom. Everyone was complimenting my mom's outfit, and so like when she got home, she was like, "Wait, my outfit," and I was like, oh no, you're so cute, we're the same person.

• 36:36Hannah Berner?

  It's their first time on this planet too.

• 36:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Stop, that'll make me cry. Cuz my mom didn't tell me what she was wearing, because she wanted me to be surprised, she was like, "You're gonna love my dress, I don't wanna show it to you till," and I'm like, "This is the cutest thing I've ever heard."

• 36:49Hannah Berner?

  My mom FaceTimed asking what she should wear, and I was helping her pick out her shoes.

• 36:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 36:55Hannah Berner?

  Also, you making fun of your dad's like one-liners?

• 37:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 37:02Hannah Berner?

  Tell us the hit that my dad was like obsessed with.

• 37:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Me and my brother talk on the phone, I would say probably like, maybe like twice a week.

• 37:11Hannah Berner?

  Once a year.

• 37:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, twice a week, he'll call me like if he's in his car, like driving somewhere or whatever, but then we're also in like a group chat, like me, him, Joe, his fiance, and so like, and that's always going off, like randomly someone will send a picture, like whatever. But sometimes if I'm on the phone with my brother, we won't say anything about our own lives, we'll just say phrases that my dad says. And so we'll just say it back to each other, and that's our conversation. And so my dad has a few like key phrases that he'll say, and our favorite one at the moment right now is, "Let me tell you cuz you don't know." No, let me tell you so you know.

• 37:50Hannah Berner?

  Let me tell you so you know.

• 37:52Paige DeSorbo?

  One time he, he, we were like asking him directions for something and,

• 37:58Paige DeSorbo?

  and we were like, "No, I think that's wrong, like I think it's actually," he goes, "You think that's wrong? Let me tell you something, I forgot more than you'll ever even know." And like, in that moment,

• 38:11Paige DeSorbo?

  no, he's just so, like, he has such his euphemisms that he says, like, "All while I was in college and it was like the summertime and I was like doing nothing," or like in high school during the summer, he would call me, I was basically his assistant. Like, I would go run errands for him. And he'd start the phone call out every time the same, and he'd be like, "Since I know you're not doing nothing, why don't you do something for me?" Say it so quick, like, and I'd be like, "Yeah, okay," he's like, "All right, you gotta go to the bank, then shoot by the pool place, the guy knows me," and everyone knows him. So like, they know he's sending me as his representative, they're like, "Go in there, you're gonna ask for Mary, she's gonna come out from the back, she's gonna give you what you need, like, make sure there's five rubber bands," like,

• 38:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Like it was so like niche errands that I was running for this man. He's like, okay, there's a guy named Jim. He's got a bag. You grab that bag. Like, I'm not going downstairs.

• 39:08Hannah Berner?

  He's like, there's gonna be a body. You're gonna roll it up in the carpet.

• 39:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, they know you're coming. They know you're my daughter. You're fine. One time we were leaving New York.

• 39:14Hannah Berner?

  There's gonna be cash, just tons of cash.

• 39:16Paige DeSorbo?

  When I was younger and my mom would like, my mom and dad would bring me down to like New York City for like different modeling stuff. Like my mom always came. Like I was never like doing anything, which is why a situation where we're different. Like you and your dad did things on your own with tennis. Me and my dad were never like by ourselves. Like if we were by ourselves, we'd be like.

• 39:37Paige DeSorbo?

  We'd be like, so how was your day? Like my mom was always there. So like in the few times that my mom couldn't come to New York City and it's just me and my dad.

• 39:47Hannah Berner?

  He's like, so how are you?

• 39:49Paige DeSorbo?

  What's your name again? He'd be like, you don't have a middle name. I'd be like, yes, I do. I have a middle name. He's like, really? What is it? Shit like that.

• 39:57Hannah Berner?

  Wait, small talk with your dad is like, oh my god.

• 40:01Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, so nice to meet you. So like we, one time we were leaving New York City and when you get off the George Washington Bridge to go upstate New York, it's called like that highway is called like the Palisades. And so he said to me one time, he goes, I just gotta make a quick stop on the Palisades at a rest stop and meet a guy. And I thought he was joking. I was like, okay. Cause he would just say like random things. Like anytime we would pass like an outhouse, like a porta potty, he'd be like, you gotta pee. Like he would just say things.

• 40:29Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, like cemetery. People are dying to get in there.

• 40:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. And so he pulled off to the side of the road and some guy put like a brown bag in her.

• 40:38Hannah Berner?

  You're so Italian right now.

• 40:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And I go, what was that? And he was like, that was a guy who was, but get me a couple of parts. I was like, a parts for what? He goes, eh.

• 40:47Hannah Berner?

  He's like, just some organs and lungs. We're gonna traffic.

• 40:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Like my dad's main word is eh.

• 40:53Hannah Berner?

  Eh, eh. And Dez does a good impression of him.

• 40:57Paige DeSorbo?

  No, Dez. Dez has met my dad, what, three times? And his impression of him is so spot on.

• 41:04Hannah Berner?

  But it's funny because he's just one of those people that.

• 41:06Paige DeSorbo?

  He's an earnest guy. He's just, he goes, what, what? Yeah, that's what I think. Like he's just.

• 41:10Hannah Berner?

  Also, at one point, me, so me and your dad are diagonal and my dad and you were diagonal. And then me and Gary, something happened and he like rolled his eyes and then I rolled my eyes. And then he thought it was funny that I was, and he rolled his eyes again. And then like, how long are we gonna do this little like not talking joke? And then when I looked at him, he was like, roll his eyes again. We were like, there was, there was chemistry at that table.

• 41:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we could all vacation together.

• 41:33Hannah Berner?

  We've, they definitely passed the test for like time spent.

• 41:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 41:38Hannah Berner?

  Together.

• 41:38Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's, it's really been a nice feeling.

• 41:42Hannah Berner?

  Well, it was a celebration and I have to shout out Desmond. He basically was like, you need to celebrate things in your life when they go well because you assume that things are just always gonna go well. And then one day you're like, fuck, I didn't celebrate.

• 41:58Paige DeSorbo?

  We're not good at like patting ourselves on the back.

• 42:01Hannah Berner?

  Never. But also it's like, celebrate the little things too.

• 42:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I think it's also like being a woman because, no, truly like men can get, I've watched, I've seen men get celebrated for like wiping their own ass. Like men love getting praise for like, I didn't cheat on you. Like, yeah, because you're not supposed to. Like where women get torn down for every little thing, even if they're like unproblematic. It's like, okay, but she, like she's wearing red shoes. Like that's disgusting.

• 42:34Hannah Berner?

  It's the same thing with like salaries. Like men, when they get like a job offer, everyone's like, yeah. But I feel like when a woman gets a job offer, people are like, well, she's a caretaker. Like, does she need money?

• 42:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:46Hannah Berner?

  Like, does she need that job? And it's like, why doesn't she deserve it?

• 42:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. So I think it's hard for us to like pat ourselves on the back because so much of our career, we've been around men who are like, you're not shit actually. So I think that's hard for us, but we're getting better at celebrating things, I think.

• 43:04Hannah Berner?

  But you, it's a conscious decision to be like, eh, I know this is awkward. I know this is weird. I know this isn't part of our like workaholic mindset, but let's stop and just like appreciate.

• 43:14Paige DeSorbo?

  And take a breath.

• 43:15Hannah Berner?

  Doing it with little things in life. Like you have a good presentation at work. Yes.

• 43:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Let's go to dinner.

• 43:21Hannah Berner?

  Let's go to dinner and like pat ourselves on the fucking back.

• 43:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I love that.

• 43:25Hannah Berner?

  Or you have a bad presentation at work.

• 43:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Hell yeah.

• 43:27Hannah Berner?

  Let's go.

• 43:28Paige DeSorbo?

  No one remembers.

• 43:29Hannah Berner?

  No one cares. Also like maybe it was campy, you know? It was ironic.

• 43:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:37Paige DeSorbo?

  You know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself reaching for over and over again? The sweater that somehow works with everything, the jeans you know will always fit just right and the bag you carry everywhere. Those are the pieces that earn a permanent place in your wardrobe and that's exactly what Quince does so well. Quince takes elevated everyday essentials using premium material like Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton and premium stretch denim. The designs are timeless, thoughtfully crafted and made to be worn again and again. Their 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters start at just $50, giving you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag. I have so many different sweaters from Quince because I love just throwing them over my shoulder, even in the summer. I think it's a chic look.

• 44:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Find the fall pieces you'll reach for the most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know that Giggly Squad sent you. It's the best way to support our show. Okay, autumn in New York is the season where we can finally start dressing again. Every single thing is an excuse to put on a look. Going to work, outfit. Leading a meeting, outfit.

• 45:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Getting drinks with your friends, obviously outfit. And as we all know, every great outfit starts from the feet up. That is why I'm currently obsessed with Allies from Sam Edelman. They're a ballet flat, but a little something extra for fall. A contrasting velvet cap toe, I have them in this gorgeous azure blue, which is like a dusty muted blue that somehow goes with everything, even Daphne's eyes. They're so cute and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane.

• 45:39Paige DeSorbo?

  And this season it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready to wear handbags, fragrances and even a new men's collection. So basically you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt. Head to samedelman.com and get 15% off with code GIGGLY15. Whenever a girl gets an idea in her head, she must execute it and especially when it comes to interior design.

• 46:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Wayfair helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value and trusted reviews. I recently on a Friday had an idea to redo my boyfriend's entire living room. And let me tell you how quick everything came. I mean, by Tuesday I was sending pictures and showing it off. My favorite thing and most important thing that I ordered was a living room rug. I really wanted to add some green in there. It's just very calming and the rug came so fast, was so easy to put down and transformed the entire space. You can shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're simply replacing an appliance or transforming your home from top to bottom for the holiday season.

• 46:59Paige DeSorbo?

  You can use filters, custom photos and more than 20 million verified five star reviews to confidently find the right fit for your home. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com and shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 47:25Hannah Berner?

  One thing about me is with the new season, I like to have a new personality. You never have to stick to one personality and people don't talk about it enough.

• 47:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I, if I'm wearing a hat, I'm a different person. Okay, the weather totally changes how you feel and it's obviously like getting a little cooler out and I'm a different girl in a turtleneck.

• 47:46Hannah Berner?

  And part of rebranding is getting new clothes and that's why I love Revolve. They have everything I need to be a completely new person that no one's ever met before. Whether it's denim, such as an angled barrel jean, I'm so different when I'm wearing a barrel jean. People do respect me more.

• 48:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm a creative director of somewhere.

• 48:07Hannah Berner?

  Then boots with a little kitten heel or a high heel. When I'm wearing boots, I command a room.

• 48:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And don't get me started on just like a really good dinner outfit. You get me a new blazer to go out to dinner. I'm having a time.

• 48:22Hannah Berner?

  And then people forget that on Revolve, there's also beauty. They have menswear, they have home and they have Forward Renew, which is pre-owned luxury handbags. And you know how much we love vintage.

• 48:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I've been recently loving Helsa's stuff. I feel like the first place I go to look is Revolve. And the number one thing I love about Revolve is order a bunch of stuff. Try it on in the comfort of your home. Easiest return ever. It's the only place I shop that I don't feel bad ordering extra stuff because I'm like, I have the luxury of trying it on and having the easiest returns.

• 48:59Hannah Berner?

  And the shipping is so fast. And if you're like me and you don't know what you're doing two days from now and then you're like, oh shit, I have a huge important dinner. Use Revolve. It's so fast and it's curated. So the website's really easy. I have been recently obsessed with, um, just like Norma Kamali. The capris that she has are so cute for fall, so comfy, stretchy and perfect.

• 49:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Revolve also carries the brands that you genuinely know and love. There's also room for discovering things. Everything's curated. You can find new brands you love, new styles you feel like wearing. Revolve just makes shopping easier. All the brands you want consistently updated, new arrivals, fast shipping, easy returns. And inevitably something you did not know you needed until five seconds ago. Go to revolve.com/giggly to shop our faves and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. That's revolve.com/giggly, code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. Offer available for a limited time, so don't miss out.

• 50:00Hannah Berner?

  I wanted to just bring up too, yesterday when we were at this corporate event. I love when I go to a bathroom and it's an automatic water faucet and it doesn't work. Cause I never feel more dainty. I'm like, oh, I'm so little that it's not even, it doesn't even know my hands are here.

• 50:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I pooped at the event.

• 50:22Hannah Berner?

  You're turning into me.

• 50:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I know.

• 50:23Hannah Berner?

  Every day, every day I see myself in you.

• 50:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I went into the bathroom with Josephine and I go, Josephine, I think I'm gonna go to the bathroom. She goes, yeah, that's why we're in here.

• 50:34Paige DeSorbo?

  She goes, is, it is in fact a bathroom for that.

• 50:37Hannah Berner?

  I do feel like if you're about to do a presentation of some kind, the 20 minutes beforehand in the bathroom, that's not you. Like you're allowed to disconnect from yourself and be like, anything that I do in these next 20 minutes is...

• 50:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Even though we were on stage for like truly a minute 30 seconds, I think I was nervous because I'm like, not my demo. Like, do you know, like, these are corporate people, all these are like real adults. So I was like, I'm nervous because what if they don't get me?

• 51:04Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, you're like, if I walk in and there's no girls being like, we love Giggly Squad, what do I do?

• 51:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Then I'm uncomfortable.

• 51:11Hannah Berner?

  Also, earlier that day, we showed up and we were gonna do something and I was like, I have to go to the bathroom. And you literally looked at me, you're like, Hannah, can we do this right now? Can you hold it? I mean, I had full-fledged diarrhea.

• 51:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, I didn't, I thought you literally just had to pee.

• 51:26Hannah Berner?

  Well, I say I have to pee because I was being polite.

• 51:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 51:30Hannah Berner?

  And there was like 17 people in the elevator, but like, you know, I, but this is one thing about me.

• 51:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Once you shot me the look of like, no, I can't hold it.

• 51:39Hannah Berner?

  But my diarrhea is quick.

• 51:40Paige DeSorbo?

  You're quick.

• 51:41Hannah Berner?

  Explosive.

• 51:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Quick.

• 51:43Hannah Berner?

  The worst is...

• 51:43Paige DeSorbo?

  You're in, you're out.

• 51:44Hannah Berner?

  You're in, you're out. That girl was like, I've never seen a faster pee. And I go, I know.

• 51:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 51:48Hannah Berner?

  And then I was like a new woman.

• 51:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm sitting there, I'm contemplating, I'm like, do I have stomach cancer? Like, is something deeper happening?

• 51:57Hannah Berner?

  Did I lose an ovary?

• 52:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember that time I thought I lost my ovary in the toilet? Yes, remember that time? I was at my old, old...

• 52:07Hannah Berner?

  You were plump.

• 52:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't even, I was like, this is like my great, great, great ex. And I called you, remember I was sitting on the toilet and I was like, I thought I was like, something was coming out. No, that was traumatizing. He almost called an ambulance because I was like, I'm having an abortion on the floor and I didn't, like, I don't know what's going on.

• 52:30Hannah Berner?

  They're like, you're just having your period.

• 52:32Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it wasn't. It was like I was passing, like, it felt like I was passing a...

• 52:38Hannah Berner?

  Kidney stone.

• 52:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. Who knows?

• 52:41Hannah Berner?

  Who knows? And we'll never know.

• 52:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Who knows? That guy really threw my pH off, I'll tell you that.

• 52:48Hannah Berner?

  Also, there was a video of like us walking off the stage and a giggler DM'd me, it was like, why do you look so much taller than Paige? Do we wanna just...

• 52:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause you are taller than me.

• 52:57Hannah Berner?

  Let's just explain our heights.

• 52:59Paige DeSorbo?

  People get really annoyed by my height specifically.

• 53:04Hannah Berner?

  Why?

• 53:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, because I think when you meet me in person, I'm not the height you expected me to be.

• 53:11Hannah Berner?

  Cause you have long legs, so on Instagram, you do look 5'11".

• 53:16Paige DeSorbo?

  And people get annoyed sometimes when I wear outfits because they're like, she's too short to wear that outfit or she, yeah. So like, my height is not, I'm only 5'3".

• 53:27Hannah Berner?

  I tell people you're 5'4" because I love you and you are...

• 53:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Some days I do feel as though I am 5'4" though.

• 53:34Hannah Berner?

  Sometimes I identify as 5'4".

• 53:36Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm like, yeah, I'm 5'4". But so in a heel, I'm really only like 5'7", 5'8".

• 53:41Hannah Berner?

  5'7", 5'8". So I'm 5'7" and they put me in a crazy heel yesterday. They put me in one of those high heels that like, your ankle is sprained to just be in it.

• 53:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Totally.

• 53:54Hannah Berner?

  It's just in a sprained position the whole time. How the fuck, like, they just crack the ankle, it's broken and they go, perfect.

• 54:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a high arch.

• 54:01Hannah Berner?

  Okay, humble brat.

• 54:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm saying, so like, I feel like people are like, oh, how do you wear heels so much? It's actually sometimes comfortable for me.

• 54:09Hannah Berner?

  When you were walking, I was trying to imitate your heel toe and it wasn't working. But this is my problem, is I'm at a corporate event, we have a four-minute presentation, and I'm acting like I've been out partying, dancing for six hours. I'm, I took my heels off, they're on the floor, Grace is like trying to find them because I like flung them somewhere. I'm fully barefoot and everyone's...

• 54:31Paige DeSorbo?

  That was crazy. I picked up your shoes.

• 54:33Hannah Berner?

  That was crazy.

• 54:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, we're not at the eighth grade dance after-party.

• 54:37Hannah Berner?

  But I become like a toddler, I'm like, off, off, off, off, upbeat, off.

• 54:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's why I love my fake heel ballet flats.

• 54:47Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, those are cute. The problem though is because I have nubby legs, like I do look good in a little heel.

• 54:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it helps.

• 54:54Hannah Berner?

  Who was I with? Oh yeah, my little cousin yesterday, put on little flats and she was like, maybe a heel.

• 54:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I taught Lois the color chartreuse. And she was into it.

• 55:04Hannah Berner?

  Lois was listening.

• 55:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I said, do you wanna see my shoes? She said, yeah.

• 55:09Hannah Berner?

  Yesterday, she was like too busy to talk to me because she was dealing with her, um, like new Disney princess stickers. But when Paige answered the phone, and Lois's eyes were closed, like she had it close up and Paige was like, do you...

• 55:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I could only see her eyes because half her face.

• 55:24Hannah Berner?

  She was like, yeah, let's see what you got, Princess Paige.

• 55:28Paige DeSorbo?

  And then I showed her my shoes and I was like, this is a pointy YSL heel. Now, this color may look green to you, Lois, but it's actually chartreuse. And in a couple of years, we'll learn how to spell that. And she was very like, mm-hmm, yeah, I need to know that. She was taking it in, she was drinking up the knowledge.

• 55:45Hannah Berner?

  She knew that this is something important.

• 55:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm very interested to see if like, in a couple of weeks or something, she's like, I like green, actually.

• 55:53Hannah Berner?

  I think she will fully be like, I like chartreuse.

• 55:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I hope she does.

• 55:57Hannah Berner?

  Jeannie told us that Lois refused to go to school with pants under her dress.

• 56:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow.

• 56:05Hannah Berner?

  Because it wasn't matching and Jeannie's like, you're gonna get pneumonia, it's like 40 degrees outside and she was like...

• 56:10Paige DeSorbo?

  She said, my vision wasn't a tunic for today.

• 56:13Paige DeSorbo?

  A tuning with like, gangster vibe, that wasn't the vibe I'm putting out for Wednesday morning at preschool.

• 56:21Hannah Berner?

  She literally was like, I'll drop out of school right now if you make me do this.

• 56:25Paige DeSorbo?

  She's like, there's nothing wrong with showing a little leg, mom, try it. How do you think you got pregnant?

• 56:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I love, I love talking to true children, like they're adults. Like, I kept telling Lois that like she was late for her job.

• 56:43Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 56:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, you have to go to work, they're gonna be wondering where you are. She's like, I don't work.

• 56:47Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I was like, Lois, you should be in school right now. And she's like, no, I'm not. No, apparently you're supposed to talk to kids like adults.

• 56:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I like it.

• 56:54Hannah Berner?

  Cause if you're always like, hello, baby, waby, like, they don't learn.

• 56:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Fuck that.

• 56:59Hannah Berner?

  So I was like, Lois, have you dealt with the existential crisis that is your existence this morning?

• 57:05Hannah Berner?

  And she's like, yeah. She's like, why do you, why is your outfit gross?

• 57:10Paige DeSorbo?

  People talk to children more like they're adults than grown men.

• 57:13Hannah Berner?

  I know, she said it.

• 57:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, last night when we were at dinner, like, our dads were like talking about our accomplishment and it was like, they were really just like praising us and then our moms started talking about their sons. And our dads looked at us and were like, you're only on top for a little while. Cause then the true kings of the family come.

• 57:37Hannah Berner?

  It is funny that we both have...

• 57:38Paige DeSorbo?

  It's funny to listen to moms talk about their sons sometimes.

• 57:40Hannah Berner?

  Well, especially Italian moms.

• 57:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Yeah, because they love us, they do. But it's a different kind of love, you know?

• 57:49Hannah Berner?

  My mom literally was like so excited about all the stuff we're doing and then she's like, but Daniel called me last night.

• 57:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Because you wanna know what? Because they're women and we're women, so they're just like, yeah, I know you're gonna have it together and you're gonna do what I would have, would do.

• 58:05Hannah Berner?

  But it's the same thing with dads. Like, my mom will be there for me every second of the day and then my dad will send me one text message like, hey, proud of you. And I'm like, thank you!

• 58:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I know, we're the problem, for sure.

• 58:18Hannah Berner?

  We have to change that. I did...

• 58:20Paige DeSorbo?

  We should be meaner to our dads.

• 58:21Hannah Berner?

  We should be meaner to our dads, we should hold our dads accountable. Nick Kroll has the funniest stand-up joke.

• 58:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Why are your parents...

• 58:29Hannah Berner?

  About the moms and how he's like, my mom calls me and I'm like, you're immediately in a bad mood. You're like, what do you want? What do you need? What? He's like, I turned to the worst version of myself and she's like, I'm worried that like you might get sick if you don't... And it's like, mom, stop, it's so fucking annoying. And then you're like, dad, can you come to my, my, my play? And he's like, no, I'm busy. And you're like, I love you, dad.

• 58:51Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it really is so true.

• 58:53Hannah Berner?

  It's so.

• 58:54Paige DeSorbo?

  But that's like our society.

• 58:56Hannah Berner?

  The bare minimum. And we just want to raise awareness about that. There was also a really good TikTok, which is like something we've been saying for a while, but just that every mom runs the home. Like, there's no man that is like in charge of his household. So it's ironic that like they think women shouldn't be running the country.

• 59:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Me and my mom came across a family where the dad did run the household. And like all the kids were like, we'll, we'll ask her like, dad, what do you think? So me and my mom looked at each other.

• 59:24Hannah Berner?

  Well, he's not straight.

• 59:24Paige DeSorbo?

  And we were like, ask, ask your dad.

• 59:28Hannah Berner?

  No, that's, that's a lavender marriage.

• 59:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Done with it in the moment to the point that like we had a full phone call about it after. She was like, can you believe they listen to their dad? I go, no, that was crazy. We like started laughing. My dad's in the background.

• 59:45Hannah Berner?

  Call child services?

• 59:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, who the hell would listen to their dad?

• 59:50Hannah Berner?

  Because I met Dez later in life and he's like had to be independent.

• 59:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:55Hannah Berner?

  He is really capable. I feel like when you meet a guy who went from like his mom to you, it's like really fucking annoying.

• 1:00:03Paige DeSorbo?

  No, they're capable. They just pretend they aren't.

• 1:00:05Hannah Berner?

  A lot of things that he does for the family, by the family. I mean, he doesn't butter. So like he holds his own.

• 1:00:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Hannah Berner?

  But like.

• 1:00:14Paige DeSorbo?

  One time, like if a man ever asks me to do something where I'm like, you're like manipulating, like you want me to do that so you don't have to. It's not that like you don't know how to do that or whatever. My response has always been totally, but like, would you do the 30 years that you didn't, haven't known me? Like then, how'd you do it? Like, how'd you accomplish it? And then they like would give their answer or whatever. And I'm like, oh, okay. So then do that.

• 1:00:39Hannah Berner?

  See, I'm psychotic where like if a guy was like, can you do my laundry? I'm immediately like, this is not ruining my life. Like I'm like, I'm like, I didn't have to do it. Now I do. And I don't think whatever, I don't think you're funny enough, hot enough, smart enough to make it worth me doing your laundry. I'm not trying to brag. I'm fully married, been with Dez for, I don't know, six years now. I've never done his laundry. I've never even put away his clothes.

• 1:01:03Paige DeSorbo?

  But if you're doing your own laundry, you don't just grab his?

• 1:01:06Hannah Berner?

  He does my laundry.

• 1:01:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow. You figured it out.

• 1:01:09Hannah Berner?

  And he does it because, no, I've done it like, I mean, a handful.

• 1:01:15Paige DeSorbo?

  You've thrown in a load.

• 1:01:16Hannah Berner?

  I've thrown in a load.

• 1:01:17Paige DeSorbo?

  You've never taken a load out and folded it?

• 1:01:19Hannah Berner?

  I've manipulated him to be like, oh, you're doing laundry? Can you just throw my stuff in too? Cause he's, he likes laundry.

• 1:01:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, the only reason I give cleaning a pass is because I genuinely enjoy cleaning.

• 1:01:30Hannah Berner?

  You enjoy.

• 1:01:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:31Hannah Berner?

  It's like, but it's like, I pack. I don't give a fuck what he's packed. I have him packed. Why am I helping you? But I have him packed.

• 1:01:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I'm like, well, I know how to roll things better now.

• 1:01:41Hannah Berner?

  I don't need him for anything and he doesn't need me for anything. So it kind of works.

• 1:01:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't leave me.

• 1:01:46Hannah Berner?

  Like I've never asked him for help either.

• 1:01:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't think of that. Like, what's the last time I asked?

• 1:01:50Hannah Berner?

  For help?

• 1:01:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:52Hannah Berner?

  Imagine, do you ask?

• 1:01:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I've asked for, I've asked for a connection. Hey, can you intro me to this person? Or hey, can you throw me on an email with it? That's so corporate though. Like in my.

• 1:02:03Hannah Berner?

  She goes, I put him on an email and CC'd him.

• 1:02:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, but it's something personal. Don't touch me.

• 1:02:08Hannah Berner?

  Dez helps with a lot of logistics that he knows I will get stressed out about.

• 1:02:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember the time you canceled all Dez's flights? I think about that often.

• 1:02:20Hannah Berner?

  That was like early in our relationship too.

• 1:02:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Divorced.

• 1:02:24Hannah Berner?

  But also I'm like, thank God he saw that side of me early on. He knew what I was capable of and he still decided to marry me.

• 1:02:30Paige DeSorbo?

  That was, I would have murdered you.

• 1:02:33Hannah Berner?

  International flights. That took him like forever to like set up the points and like the Delta.

• 1:02:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:38Hannah Berner?

  I just was like.

• 1:02:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Delete.

• 1:02:42Hannah Berner?

  Oh, back? There's no back?

• 1:02:43Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you're an inspiration to women that Dez does your laundry.

• 1:02:47Hannah Berner?

  It's not like organized, like he's not always doing it.

• 1:02:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:50Hannah Berner?

  But like, yeah, I don't, I'm not, what? Like I wasn't, no.

• 1:02:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I just like, I feel like I'm so meticulous.

• 1:03:01Hannah Berner?

  Laundry doer. Also, if I do do your laundry, I'm gonna forget it and then it's gonna start smelling.

• 1:03:07Paige DeSorbo?

  One chore around the house that you rather die than do?

• 1:03:11Hannah Berner?

  Besides all of them.

• 1:03:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Like what's the one chore that you're like, this one I really hate. Like emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming, like.

• 1:03:20Hannah Berner?

  I've never vacuumed since knowing Dez. But you know what's crazy? I go to the, I go to the cat when I volunteer at the cat shelter. I'm doing laundry. I'm vacuuming. I'm doing dishes. Like I'm doing everything at the cat shelter, come back to my house and I'm like.

• 1:03:35Paige DeSorbo?

  So Dez is cleaning your whole apartment?

• 1:03:37Hannah Berner?

  No, no, no. We have someone that comes like every two weeks.

• 1:03:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. But in those two weeks, who's putting stuff in the dishwasher? Dez. She's like, do I have a dishwasher? What do you think?

• 1:03:48Hannah Berner?

  Wait a second, he actually has been.

• 1:03:50Paige DeSorbo?

  That is not, no, that's not the norm. I think that's important to talk about. That at your household, you're not in charge of any household duties.

• 1:03:59Hannah Berner?

  No. I'm busy working.

• 1:04:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:02Hannah Berner?

  And he's busy working too, which is why we need help.

• 1:04:04Paige DeSorbo?

  It's really not even like a talked about thing almost. It's, you're very equal in terms of like, there's dishes in the sink, you put them in the dishwasher.

• 1:04:11Hannah Berner?

  And occasionally we'll have a moment where he'll be like, hey, it's like a mess over there. And I'll be like, what's a mess over there? And he's like, touche. And then we move on. And occasionally there'll be like a Sunday where he's like, we should probably clean. And I'm like, okay. And then we both for like 10 minutes, like throw stuff out.

• 1:04:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I think I was dating Joe for two weeks and I was like, I could reorganize your closet if you were interested in that.

• 1:04:34Hannah Berner?

  There's something that dies inside me. Like if his shirt's on the floor, there's like a part of me that's like, if I pick this up and put it away, that's putting women back. Like it's empowering. Like I told you guys, I love when I order food. I'll like, there'll be like tons of people over. I'll order the food, pay for it, make sure everyone's happy. I'm not cleaning up.

• 1:04:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:57Hannah Berner?

  Would the man who paid for it clean up after?

• 1:05:00Paige DeSorbo?

  So true.

• 1:05:01Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, I do take out the trash.

• 1:05:04Paige DeSorbo?

  What? Triggering.

• 1:05:06Hannah Berner?

  Triggering. But I've learned, I've learned my lessons and I do take out the trash.

• 1:05:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I think the reason I cleaned so much, I think, is like a secret competition in my own brain that if at any time someone came over, popped over, they'd be like, wow, this is her like every day. This is how she lives. Like she's this clean. And it's like, who is that? Who is that made up person that's coming over?

• 1:05:32Hannah Berner?

  First of all, you have eight dead locks. No one's coming over casually.

• 1:05:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd pretend I'm not home.

• 1:05:37Hannah Berner?

  What I like to tell people, cause I have had some of those situations happen is I say, look, I'm a creative.

• 1:05:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Hey, look, I'm just living.

• 1:05:47Hannah Berner?

  Look, I'm just like one of those crazy creative geniuses.

• 1:05:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Then when my space isn't clean and people come over, I'm like, oh my God, but I prepare for this. Like, and this is the day someone's popping over when it's a mess?

• 1:06:00Hannah Berner?

  But I do think that I've had roommates that like, like I will step up where I have to. Like Dave, Haley's husband was like, you can't leave your oatmeal bowl. And I was like, I won't. Like I did enough to like Dave never get mad at me.

• 1:06:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:21Hannah Berner?

  But like every now and then was Dave like, where's all of our glasses? And I'm like, hold on one second. I think that's my fault. And then I come out with like 47 glasses in my room. But I do bring good vibes and energy and overall I have a kindness to me.

• 1:06:35Paige DeSorbo?

  You do.

• 1:06:35Hannah Berner?

  Where like he knew it wasn't out of any malice or spite.

• 1:06:38Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, do you want to laugh or do you want to have ants? Like, because like pick one.

• 1:06:44Hannah Berner?

  One or the other.

• 1:06:45Paige DeSorbo?

  This was quack.

• 1:06:46Hannah Berner?

  No, so we haven't done in person in a really long time. It was nice seeing you, even though I was with you all day yesterday.

• 1:06:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Can you also just let the gigglers know that I did give you your birthday gift? So we're in the clear.

• 1:06:56Hannah Berner?

  Paige gave me her birthday gift. It was a bag from the RealReal. I can't stop wearing it. I wore it yesterday.

• 1:07:04Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, so you.

• 1:07:04Hannah Berner?

  It's perfect. I'm like not, gift giving is not my love language, but the fact you got it so right. There's a feeling of warmth.

• 1:07:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I love gifting people that, that I really, really know, where I'm like, I know they're gonna love this.

• 1:07:19Hannah Berner?

  There's nothing worse than someone excited to give you a present and they give it to you and you're like, so you've never met me before. So all of our relationship is a lie. So you hate me.

• 1:07:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I've broken up with boyfriends and not because I'm like, oh, this is a bad gift. I'm like, you don't know a single thing about me.

• 1:07:35Hannah Berner?

  You Googled me.

• 1:07:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Today's not even my birthday.

• 1:07:44Hannah Berner?

  Thank you guys for giggling with us. What day is today? Yeah. Have an amazing weekend and.

• 1:07:52Paige DeSorbo?

  We'll be back in person next time.

• 1:07:54Hannah Berner?

  Look out. Sunday, I think we're gonna start teasing.

• 1:07:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Stuff.

• 1:07:59Hannah Berner?

  Stuff.

• 1:08:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Gorgine. Have a great day.

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  Everyone knows those red Target bags, but what's inside? That's a different story for everybody. Maybe it's something new you didn't know you needed. Something that makes life a little easier or turns an ordinary Tuesday into something to look forward to. Because a Target bag isn't just full of things. It's full of what you need, what you love, and even what you'll love next. This fall, all that's new and uniquely you. It's in the bag, only at Target.

• 1:08:39Speaker 04

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur.

• 1:09:20Speaker 04

  Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC or visit nurtec.com. All right. Back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.