It's Not Unfair, It Just Is | Corralling The Unnecessary

“It’s amazing how often we find ourselves using these words. Words like “unfair,” “unlucky,” “frustrating,” “unfortunate,” “annoying,” “inconvenient”Ryan explains the fundamental Stoic practice of recognizing events as indifferent, not just talk about it, and reads The Daily Stoic’s entry of the day, on today’s Daily Stoic Podcast. Blinkist is the app that gets you fifteen-minute summaries of the best nonfiction books out there. Blinkist lets you get the topline information and the most important points from the most important nonfiction books out there, whether it’s Ryan’s own The Daily Stoic, Yuval Harari’s Sapiens, and more. Go to blinkist.com/stoic, try it free for 7 days, and save 25% off your new subscription, too. Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: http://DailyStoic.com/signupFollow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and Facebook`See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:04Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. On Thursdays, we do double duty, not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from the book The Daily Stoic, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful co-author and collaborator, Stephen Hanselman. And so today, we'll give you a quick meditation from one of the Stoics, from Epictetus, Marcus, Aurelius, Seneca, then some analysis from me, and then we send you out into the world to do your best to turn these words into works.

• 0:42Ryan Holiday?

  It's not unfair, it just is. It's amazing how often we find ourselves using those words, words like unfair, unlucky, frustrating, unfortunate, annoying, inconvenient. To the Stoics, there was a word for these kinds of words: opinion. "Things don't upset us," Epictetus said, "our judgment about them does." Events are not fair or unfair, they just are. We make up that the stock market is good or bad, a bear or a bull. In truth, it's just doing what it does. It's just a reflection of perceived values at a particular moment. The more we can catch ourselves from applying these labels,

• 1:26Ryan Holiday?

  the happier we will be, the more options we'll have too. "But that's so hard," you say. Of course it is, it goes against every impulse. "But still, we always have the ability to have no opinion," Marcus says. We can catch ourselves and think, "It's not what I wanted, but that doesn't mean that I was unlucky. It's not how I would have treated someone, but that doesn't mean it's unfair." It just is. It's the situation we're in, the hand we've been dealt, and if we spent less time calling it names, we'd have more energy and time to play the hand well, to respond to the situation. So remember this and adjust your vocabulary accordingly.

• 2:11Ryan Holiday?

  Corralling the Unnecessary. This is today's entry in the Daily Stoic, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. I riff on this on another episode in the Daily Stoic Journal, but it's so important, it's worth saying again. "It is said that if you want to have peace of mind, busy yourself with little. But wouldn't a better saying be to do what you must and as required of a rational being created for public life? For this brings not only the peace of mind of doing few things, but the greater peace of doing them well. Since the vast majority of our words and actions are unnecessary, corralling them will create an abundance of leisure and tranquility. As a result, we shouldn't forget at every moment to ask, is this one of the unnecessary

• 2:56Ryan Holiday?

  things? And we must corral not only the unnecessary actions, but unnecessary thoughts too, so needless acts don't tag along after them." That's Marcus in Meditations 424. I read the Gregory Hayes translation before, but I thought I would give you the Robin Waterfield translation of that same line, because again, it's so good. He says, "Do little if you want to be content. But wouldn't it be better to do what's necessary, everything the reason of a naturally social being requires, in the manner it requires it? The upshot will not only be the contentment that comes from doing the right thing, but also the contentment that comes from doing little.

• 3:37Ryan Holiday?

  After all, most of our words and actions are unnecessary, and dispensing with them gives one more freedom and greater peace of mind. It follows that you should prod yourself every time by asking, is this really necessary? And it's important to dispense not only with the unnecessary actions, but unnecessary thoughts as well, because it will ensure that no redundant actions follow either." And Waterfield says that this first line, the "do little if you want to be content," or as in R1, "if you want to be content, do less," it's saying that this is actually a fragment from Democritus that was then taken up by the Epicureans. "To the extent to which a philosopher should engage with the world was a major bone of

• 4:18Ryan Holiday?

  contention with the two schools, with the Epicureans recommending withdrawal and the Stoics' engagement," basing their view here, as Marcus does, on the fact that we are by nature social beings. So...

• 4:31Ryan Holiday?

  The idea is we can't withdraw completely. We have to be involved, but we should only be involved in the essential, important things. And so I'll give you the rest of today's riffing. I say the Stoics were not monks. They didn't retreat to the sanctuary of a monastery or a temple. They were politicians, businessmen, soldiers, artists. They practiced their philosophy amid the busyness of life, just as you are attempting to do, just as I am attempting to do. The key to accomplishing this is to ruthlessly expunge the inessential from our lives. What vanity obligates us to do, what greed signs us up for, what ill discipline adds to our plate, what a lack of courage prevents us from saying no to, all of this we must

• 5:16Ryan Holiday?

  cut, cut, cut.

• 5:21Ryan Holiday?

  What are you going to say no to this week? That's the question. What inessential things are you going to question and remove? What obligations are you going to wriggle out of? Because they're not actually obligations, but impositions that society has foisted on us that don't actually matter.

• 5:40Ryan Holiday?

  Say no. There is power in that. Not just power and the freedom it gives you, but by saying no to the things that don't matter, we're able to say yes, fully, doubly, as Marcus says, to the things that do matter. We do less, better. That's what I want for you. That's what you should want for yourself. Say no this week. Ask yourself at every moment, is this essential? Is this one of the unnecessary things? Does this actually matter? Is it important? Chances are it isn't, so act accordingly.

• 6:15Ryan Holiday?

  Thanks so much for listening. If you could leave a review for the podcast, we'd really appreciate it. The reviews make a difference, and of course, every nice review from a nice person helps balance out the crazy people who get triggered and angry anytime we say something they disagree with. So if you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes, that would mean so much to us, and it would really help the show. We appreciate it, and I'll see you next episode.