The 2026 Made-Up NBA Awards With Zach Lowe

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Zach Lowe LIVE on Netflix to react to the Nuggets-Spurs OT game before discussing the Lakers' injuries (0:32). Then, they give out their 2026 Made-Up NBA Awards (23:28). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Zach Lowe Producers: Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Chris Wohlers Brought to you by PayPal. Learn more at https://paypal.com/payin4 The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit⁠⁠⁠ www.rg-help.com⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

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• 1:08Bill Simmons?

  The Bill Simmons Podcast, live on Netflix. That Zach Lowe that you're looking at, he's at an undisclosed location. By the way, rewatchable is coming tomorrow night. We are doing Eddie and the Cruisers. It's the tail end of Sea Arm Month, and then Zach's got a podcast on Tuesday. We're gonna do the made up NBA awards. Later in the episode, Zach, game of the year yesterday. We always say game of the year after there's a great game, but this really was the game of the year. San Antonio, Denver was on Amazon. I like these early Saturday afternoon PT games on Amazon because they're all over the country. Like, if you're in Europe, you're watching it like you're watching on Saturday Night Live. We had Wemby and Joker kind of playing for the number two MVP spot.

• 1:52Bill Simmons?

  Not to mention San Antonio trying to lay the smackdown, Denver trying to get to the three seed. And the two centers just brought it out of each other, and we went into overtime. It was the biggest game of the year for Denver to win. I thought it was a good loss for San Antonio, as weird as that sounds, but more importantly, two generational guys. A really special sporting event like I'm still I'm still glowing 24 hours later.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  What more can you ask for? These two guys are absolutely unbelievable. They danced around each other for a lot of the game before when he kind of took the Jokic assignment for most of the down the stretch. Jokic did not guard Wemby very much at all, but just sort of sometimes it would come into contact on switches and it would be like, ooh, here, here we go. Here's what we paid for. And like Wemby just big boyed him on a couple post ups, like just ate his shot alive. And then Jokic would get him like footwork, the body, get a little like weirdo hook over him and just masterpiece performance by, by both guys. And you could just see the sort of strategies that both teams were toying with with an eye on like, maybe, maybe down the line, this could be a thing.

• 2:53Bill Simmons?

  You know, it's funny, the league was built on centers way back when. George Mikan, Russell versus Chamberlain, Kareem. This was the first 25, 30 years of the league. You had to have centers. And then we moved toward perimeter guys a little bit here. We've had some great ones.

• 3:10Bill Simmons?

  Watching two centers battle like that, even though Jokic wasn't guarding Wemby that much on the other side, but just watching two unstoppable guys go at it like that. Uh, I don't think there's anything like it. As much fun as it is to watch Curry versus Kobe or LeBron versus KD, all the great stuff we've had over the years. There's something different when it's the centers. I mean, Jokic made that turnaround. He made an OT.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  I don't even know if that was a Sombor shuffle by categorization or not, but it was like, I screamed, I yelped. I did the Jokic, oh, one of those guys.

• 3:43Bill Simmons?

  That was the best shot anyone's made all season. I can't believe it went in. Wemby couldn't believe it made it went in. The, the point of the game when he made it was, was unbelievable, but Wemby's shot to end regulation that he missed, where he had Gordon and that was like, this is why you could not give up on Denver at any point this regular season because we didn't see. Yesterday is Aaron Gordon on this Denver team. We saw it yesterday, but Gordon plays perfect defense. Wemby ends up basically just careening out of bounds on the left side, but then somehow gets this line drive shot, but because he's an alien, it was actually a good shot and it probably should have gone in. And if he made that, I'd never have seen

• 4:25Bill Simmons?

  anyone make that shot in the history of basketball before, at least in that situation.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Eight foot wingspan, half your body can be flying in one direction out of bounds and you just reach out and it's like, oh, my arm is actually in semi-normal position and I'll flick this shot. No, just outrageous. And Aaron Gordon played 41 minutes, guarded Wemby for a lot of the game, did everything that Aaron Gordon always does on offense. And just, I liked when he and Stephon Castle, by the way, had like the big boy off where like Stephon Castle actually got into him and put it up. And then the next possession, Aaron Gordon knocked him over. That was fun. Stephon Castle's like, yeah, Aaron Gordon, you're one of the preeminent like ass kickers in the NBA. How about I just go right at you? That guy fears nothing.

• 5:07Bill Simmons?

  He had a, I might be the third best player in this game vibe to him that, that entire time. The Wemby thing, it's honestly like watching a horror movie where the alien creature is starting to gain intelligence over the course of the movie. And it's like, this alien was scary in the first 20 minutes, but now it's starting to figure shit out. The competitiveness and just him understanding what he can and can't do. And I, and I actually thought it affected Fox negatively. I think Fox, if I'm a Spurs fan, the things I'm nervous about, two, and both of them popped up yesterday. Wemby, when you have to put more than 30 minutes on him, which is also the, the MVP argument with him too. He can give you a

• 5:50Bill Simmons?

  great 30 minutes. He's, he's the baseball starter that can throw you six awesome innings. But if I need you to go into the ninth and throw like 130 pitches, can you do it?

• 6:00Speaker 01

  See entire New York Mets rotation, baby. Let's go.

• 6:02Bill Simmons?

  Right. There you go. I thought he looked worn out and OT just because he's not used to that kind of level of intensity for three hours. And it was a long game too. The other thing was, was the Fox piece of it. Fox, who was this great clutch player in the Kings, who was really good, but the offense revolved around him. How do I kind of figure out how to float in and out of this when I have an alien on my team? Where, what's my place? How often do I take over? Should I be taking over? Am I just kinda over here? And if I'm over here, I'm not really Darren Fox? I think they have to figure that out over the next two months.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Which it's weird because for the whole season, we've been praising Darren Fox for finding that exact right balance in his game. And it felt a little, I mean, he missed some shots, right? He missed some like good shots for him and that's part of it. Like those go in and we're talking about a different sort of discussion. And yeah, I mean, that's, you know, the three-headed monster of Harper, Castle and Fox is super imposing. It gives them all kinds of optionality. They can keep two of them on the floor at all times. Medium term, long term, they're gonna have to answer some questions about, you know, is there enough, if there, is there enough ball for all of them? But right now, it's been perfect. I'm gonna just chalk up yesterday to a hiccup, but just a fascinating game all around. Like Christian Brown, go ahead and shoot a million corner threes. He kinda made them pay for it. Denver, like, do we play Valanciunas?

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Do we not play Valanciunas? It was just an awesome, awesome basketball game.

• 7:24Bill Simmons?

  Cam Johnson, I thought, had a couple really big moments that he, he probably needed more than anyone in the game. Really came through, I thought. And just in general, and I, I thought Van Gundy did a great job yesterday. I haven't always been high on him as an announcer, but I think he's been really good this year. And I thought he captured the moment in the fourth quarter, just talking about the level of play. Like this is like, what, what we're watching right now, this is as high of a level as we're gonna get in basketball in 2025, 26. And OKC can get there. I think the Celtics can get there. Like even today, watching them just house Toronto, and without, they weren't even making threes and they were up pretty comfortably. I think there's four teams that can get to that level.

• 8:09Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if anyone else can. Especially now that we have the, all these Lakers injuries that I wanna talk about in a second. I don't know if anyone else has it in them.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  It's funny you say that because in the middle of, right before Luca got hurt, Thunder Lakers the other night, I got a text from someone high up in the league, not in the league office, just in the league, saying, man, another, another blowout, like, there's two teams playing at a different level, and then there's everybody else. And I replied, and I think we're getting to the point that the only two teams that can actually push them are Denver and Boston. And, and, and, you know, it's hard to make a case for anyone else because the level of play is just so high. And the Nuggets reminded everyone, you mentioned Cam Johnson, that's super on point. He's very quietly had a good last month, like, playing with a lot more verve, giving them what they need. If they, and they didn't have Peyton Watson, we'll see when he comes back, he's week to week, which is like the new thing.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  People are now week to week with things now, which I don't know how to, how to, how to.

• 9:05Bill Simmons?

  We should start this with our pods. We'll just release that. Zach might, might have a pod on Tuesday, maybe not, he's week to week.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Uh, week to week, but, uh, yeah, and Cam Johnson has had a good month. And the Nuggets sort of remind, and a game that felt like the Nuggets needed, like, even though they've won, they're on a winning streak, everyone at the top of the league is on a winning streak because the third of the league is not trying to win games. Um, it felt like they needed a power win and they got a major power win.

• 9:29Bill Simmons?

  And they never really had the lead. They were always on the fringe of being down 15. They kept fighting off. If I'm the Spurs, I'm just looking at that, like, we were in charge of that whole game and we shouldn't have let it get to OT. It went to OT, we lost, but that was a good loss. We learned some things from it. San Antonio, it's like, it feels like if they've, how many times I wonder have they even been down by eight points in the last three months? I can only think of like, two games. It just feels like they're in control from the moment these games start, doing whatever they want to do, and they're so good. I, I had a castle question for you, actually, really quick.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 10:10Bill Simmons?

  He might be on a third team all NBA for me.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  It's you've mentioned this now four or five times and I feel like you are. You are asking for permission. I feel like.

• 10:20Bill Simmons?

  I'm not asking for permission. I just like.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  You're testing it out. You're testing it. You want someone to tell you. It's okay. Do it. And I think you should do it if you want to do it. I wouldn't do it, but he's. He's been unbelievable.

• 10:31Bill Simmons?

  Well, some people have Scotty Barnes on there now that uh. No, some people have them now that we've had some guys fell off like. Luca's now probably out. Cade's probably out, so on and so on. And. People are trying to talk themselves.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  Wouldn't give up on Luca. There's they're they're actually going to do this thing where they appeal it. Right. Because he's going to get to 60. He's at 64 games. They're going to do the extraordinary circumstances appeal because he was in Slovenia for the birth of his child. Can you imagine if the NBA is like? You know what? Let's get our lawyers. Let's get our top notch litigation. Get Wachtel in here. We're going to go against Luka Doncic and his agent and this extraordinary circumstances. We don't care that you were present for the birth of your child. We're sticking by the 65 game rule. I would love if the league just dug in. Imagine how bad that would look. I bet he's we'll see. We'll see. That's all I'm saying.

• 11:19Bill Simmons?

  Well, can they figure that out before we have to send in the votes?

• 11:22Speaker 01

  Well, this is one that this I joked about this. What are you supposed to do? Put the ballots out TBD arbitrators ruling pending like we'll see what happens.

• 11:30Bill Simmons?

  Uh, I have a zag.

• 11:33Bill Simmons?

  So. Luca and I I didn't come up with this because a couple of listeners emailed this too, but since I'm obviously not a huge Laker fan, I really enjoyed it. I'm gonna I'm gonna. I'm gonna pass it forward. Luca, 16 technicals this year got suspended for a game.

• 11:52Bill Simmons?

  Now he's one game short.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  Wow. So you're saying he he deserves it?

• 11:58Bill Simmons?

  Maybe he should look in the mirror.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  Wow. You've been, you've been, you, you've been waiting.

• 12:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, how about this? Maybe, maybe behave a little bit better during the, maybe set a better role, role model example to, to the kids out there.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  You hit him with behave and you hit him with role model.

• 12:13Bill Simmons?

  16 technicals.

• 12:14Speaker 01

  You hit him with role model.

• 12:15Bill Simmons?

  If you didn't get 16 technicals, you would have played 65 games already and you'd be in the all NBA.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  We're talking about Barkley in 1990 role models. What, was it Old Spice? Was that the commercial? I am not a role model. Was it Old Spice?

• 12:27Bill Simmons?

  No, it was Nike.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  Was it Nike?

• 12:29Bill Simmons?

  No, it's not voting for Luca would be, I, I just don't understand how we're going to fill out these ballots and not have them on.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Can I give you the?

• 12:36Bill Simmons?

  64 instead of 65.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  Can I give you the sneaky one that people haven't realized yet?

• 12:41Bill Simmons?

  What?

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Devin Booker is not going to be eligible because it looks like on games played, he is going to be eligible, but two of his games are sub 10 minute games because of injury. And you've got to get to 20, I think it allows for like one or two under 15 minute games. Those can count. And so his, he's going to max out at 64, which I don't think a lot of voters have realized yet because I see him and I think they are potentially going to look at appealing it too. Because again, we're just like running out of guys. I actually haven't sat down.

• 13:09Bill Simmons?

  Who are you appealing this to? What is there like a Judge Judy for the NBA just waiting to accept the dumbest appeals ever for all NBA?

• 13:16Speaker 01

  I assume it's some sort of independent arbitrator that hopefully it takes, it does not take as long as the aspiration investigation. So we're filling out the 2026 all NBA team in like eight months from now, retroactively. But yeah, I, I haven't actually sat down and redone my list yet because I got to cross off like four more guys.

• 13:34Bill Simmons?

  Well, I had, that's why I was thinking about Castle because if Booker's out.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  Do it.

• 13:39Bill Simmons?

  Booker's out. Well, like, like I, I like Scotty Barnes, but like I watched him today. I, I just think Castle's when I test wise, plus I saw in person and Castle was one of the guys that really jumped out to me this year in person. I, I especially since the, I think like the last two months since the All-Star break is at like 43% from three. Uh, I just think he's turned into an awesome, awesome second guy. I got a great mailbag question from Hams in Buffalo.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:06Bill Simmons?

  Luca's at 64 games. They play Utah, the last game of the year. Utah's going to need that loss. Luca should dress in full uniform and stand in the corner of the court for 20 minutes while the Lakers play four and five and Utah still tries to lose. This would be incredible entertainment, right? I'm down for that.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  I mean, look, it can't get any worse. Wizards Nets today. I mean, you better believe I'm not watching a second of that, but just the injury report alone, it was outrageous. And yeah, Utah, it'll be interesting to see if they're just like locked into they that they have the same sort of 99.4% chance of keeping their pick if they're if a win actually matters to them. But yeah, why not Luca on one leg, roll him out there on crutches? Like, what are you gonna do? Who's gonna stop him? Kyle Filipowski is gonna stay in front of Luca with crutches on? I don't think so.

• 14:54Bill Simmons?

  No way. Just the term now, went on Termina and Eddie on Friday. He's going old school with his all NBA ballot, which I don't think I'm gonna do, but I really respect it. Where it's like, we have 75 years of we had a center on each team. And now we've thrown this away. And he's like, I don't know if I'm voting for Jokic or Wemby for first team all NBA center, but whoever I have, I'm putting the other guy on second team to keep the history. And I'm like, I really want to do that. I really respect it. But the the catch for me is I do feel like Jokic and Wemby could belong on the same team. I know Jokic is a center, but he's

• 15:32Speaker 01

  Good.

• 15:33Bill Simmons?

  He's not. No, I'm just saying, like hypothetically,

• 15:35Speaker 01

  No, I'm saying

• 15:36Bill Simmons?

  it's Patrick Ewing and Shaquille O'Neal. Like, Jokic is a point guard. He's he's all kinds of

• 15:40Speaker 01

  It's not even a question. If you put them on the same team, you would have the starting blueprint for the best team in the NBA.

• 15:46Bill Simmons?

  Right, yeah. So so I feel like that's the out. But I still feel like if this was Shaq and Hakeem Olajuwon or something, that's two real centers, right? Jokic, I don't know what he is. Nobody knows what he is. He doesn't. What position is he? I have no idea.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Well, we did this with Embiid and Jokic, right? And this is part of the reason why the rule, I think, got altered is because one of them had to be a second team all NBA center when they were like jostling for the MVP.

• 16:10Bill Simmons?

  I kind of like it. And then it looks like Murray.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Mindset of you can't tell me what to do. I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do.

• 16:18Bill Simmons?

  Well, that's the thing. There's 100 votes, right? The whole point of having 100 votes is that everybody's gonna come up to their own conclusions and have their own attitudes on this. I am gonna have Jalen Dern on my second team. I don't know if he's a second team all NBA, but I'm gonna have a center on the second team. And so I'm gonna have Jokic and Wemby at first team. I'm putting a center on the second team. I'm not gonna have a forward and four guards. I just think that point, you I'm basically doing the MVP ballot. I'm just not doing that. Can we talk Lakers really quick?

• 16:47Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 16:47Bill Simmons?

  So do you? Do you believe the timelines they're doing out? Or do you think they're being intentionally padding?

• 16:55Bill Simmons?

  The weeks that Luca and Reeves are going to be out and those guys will actually be back sooner than that. I never, never really know what the agenda is when they just tell you the weeks. Where sometimes it'll be faster, other times it'll be slower. In this case, I just find it hard to believe Luca is going to be out for five weeks. And I find it hard to believe Reeves isn't going to play with a hurt oblique in the first round.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  I mean,

• 17:18Bill Simmons?

  Cause all my Laker fan friends are freaking out.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  We've seen the oblique stuff is no joke, like Ben Caro and Franz Wagner both got it last year and they were both out for a while. I don't know if it's the exact same injury, but like that stuff's no joke. Like the Reeves timetable was, was like pretty precise, four to six weeks. The Luca one, I think was like a, maybe a little vaguer. I can't remember exactly, but I'm going to trust that. I'm, I'm going to just ballpark a month and

• 17:42Bill Simmons?

  Okay, so you're trusting the intel.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Plus or minus a month and that takes him out of the first round of the playoffs. And I think if those guys are both out, I think the Lakers clearly surpass the Rockets as the team that you'd most want to play in the first round. If you were one of the best Western Conference teams in the top six. And so that gets you just thinking like, if you're Denver, you know, what, what seed do you want to chase? Do you want to chase the three seed or do you want to stick in four or five and stick with the Rockets? It's like, it's a whole, like, it's a, it's a whole calculation now.

• 18:17Bill Simmons?

  If I'm Denver, I want to be the three seed and I want to, uh, I want to play San Antonio over OKC in round.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. So that's, so that's the route for Denver is like, if we're three, we get Minnesota instead of Houston. But we get San Antonio in the second round of four, four.

• 18:32Bill Simmons?

  Well, they might get Houston with the three, six too. Like I still feel like the five, six is up in the air. Right.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Didn't play. Yeah, but the Lakers, obviously if those guys are out, then they're not, they're not winning a first round playoff series. I don't know what's interesting about that. That's just what it is.

• 18:48Bill Simmons?

  Here's the big winner. OKC.

• 18:53Bill Simmons?

  However, this played out, OKC wins because it's probably leading to Denver and San Antonio having a bloodbath in round two and OKC playing a significantly weaker team than either of those teams in round two. OKC potentially getting Portland in round one and then, I don't know, Houston, Minnesota, a depleted Lakers team, which isn't going to get out of first round without those guys. Like, this is amazing for OKC.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  I'm glad they caught a break.

• 19:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, thank God. Thank God for them. Thank God they finally got one.

• 19:26Speaker 01

  Houston's two up on the Wolves for, the Wolves are playing as we're doing this.

• 19:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  For the fifth spot. And let me look at the tiebreakers real quick. Rockets tiebreaker's still in play. They play once more. That's right. They play on April 10th. It's going to be a head-to-head showdown. So that's going to be one of the biggest games of the season in terms of seeding.

• 19:47Bill Simmons?

  The other seeding thing that's going on, whatever is going to happen with seven and eight in the East, where you had Toronto lose today, the Celtics just look really comfortable against Toronto if that ends up being the seventh seed. They'd be the seventh seed now. Philly, who everybody's so terrified of, just actually defecated on the court yesterday against Detroit. It was a full defecation. It was awful. Every time, everybody's like, "Well, Philly, watch out." They just go backwards. I know I'm being

• 20:14Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, a very important player did not play.

• 20:17Bill Simmons?

  I get it. I get it. But I just thought it was notable. And you have Charlotte looming, and I am just on multiple Celtics text threads with the who would you want to play the most and the least? Because even Charlotte, I don't think Charlotte's ready to win a playoff series.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Uh-oh. Bandwagon driver just, you know, cautiously switching lanes here.

• 20:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's, I think, a little early for them to expect to just go in and beat Boston. With that said. I don't want to see them in the 2-7 matchup.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:47Bill Simmons?

  I just don't. I don't want to see the, I don't want to see their dudes. I think they play with no fear. The three-point shooting. I just don't want to see them. There's other teams I would rather play in that spot. And then the other one is Cleveland, who thought they were playing this perfectly. And it's like, oh yeah, four or five, we'll play Toronto, we'll beat them, then we'll play Detroit. We love playing Detroit. We can beat them. And now they have to play this incredibly frisky Atlanta team that lots of Hawks fans are saying you refuse to talk about now.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  I, but just, who are these Hawks fans? I had like a three-minute monologue at the end of my last podcast with Michael Pena about a Nikhil Alexander-Walker, Jalen Johnson inverted pick and roll and how beautiful that was.

• 21:28Bill Simmons?

  I got one, I got one email. I got one email from a disgruntled Hawks fan.

• 21:32Speaker 01

  Look, if the Cavs, the Hawks are, are a very good team. And this has been one of the few, we're going to get to this. It's been one of the great stories of the NBA season. This sort of identity post Trey Young that they have, they, it was like half of their identity with Trey Young. And then it just blew up and became their whole identity. Once he was gone and the awkwardness was lifted away from them. And they've, they're what, they're a million and just a few losses in their last 25 games. They've been outrageous. If Cleveland can't beat the Hawks in a first-round series in which they have home court advantage, if they're even like wobbling in fear of the Atlanta Hawks, just, just break it up already.

• 22:11Bill Simmons?

  If Cleveland lost to the Hawks in round one, they will be in trade podcasts that I do, you do, we do together, everyone else does. They'll just be the number one go-to team for all Yanis trades, like Palo, pick a guy. Could have been, is the time to trade Mitchell? Oh, the Knicks are out too? Here we go. Mitchell to Knicks. Like it'll just, it'll set off a chain reaction. It's time. We're going to take a break and then. The 2026 made up NBA awards.

• 22:42Speaker 01

  Feel a lot of pressure.

• 22:43Bill Simmons?

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• 23:26Bill Simmons?

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• 24:06Bill Simmons?

  All right, it's the 2026 made up awards. We will be doing all of our real stuff, the NBA, all NBA MVP, Rookie of the Year, all that stuff. We have weeks to talk about it, but not the made up awards. We always do it the week before the end of the season.

• 24:24Bill Simmons?

  Bunch of awards. I sent you a whole master list. I sent you some nominees. Feel free to chime in, extra nominees. The first award, one of the most important ones, we like to, for the made up awards, we like to have a big one first, like in the Oscars when they bring out like the best supporting actress, like, oh.

• 24:39Speaker 01

  I'm never ready. I'm never ready. Even though I know it's coming, I'm like, I just sat down. I'm not ready for this.

• 24:45Bill Simmons?

  It's Unicorn of the Year. Normally a controversial award with a lot of good options. This year, the nominees are Victor Wembidyama. Peyton Pritchard, LeBron James and Jalen Johnson. I don't know if you had any more nominees to throw in.

• 24:59Speaker 01

  It's an interesting set of nominees. LeBron is obviously up there for his age, I would imagine. Peyton Pritchard, we can talk about whether he deserves to be mentioned in this group, or this is like a, you know, blockbuster movie that just got tossed in for best picture. But I did not add any additional nominees because the answer is obvious and I don't know what else there is to say.

• 25:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's almost unicorn of the decade is in play for Wemby. Peyton Pritchard I put in because of the bizarre stats about his two-point shooting and him near the rim and just this weird one-man post-up offense that he's been able to do. This iso ball bang into you around, I've just never, TJ, TJ kind of veered toward a lot of this and then Pritchard took it and grabbed it and took it to another level. But I've just never seen anybody do it like this. Okay.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  At 6'1", yeah, for sure.

• 25:49Bill Simmons?

  Not a lot of mystery for that first one. The next one though. The 2011 Blake Griffin Award for Most Unexpected Delight. And the reason we had this award, this was the year before Lob City. Blake's out his rookie year, hurts his knee, comes back the next year. Darren Davis is on this Clippers team. He's probably 20 pounds overweight. DeAndre Jordan's feeling it out. I don't remember who the coach was, maybe it was Vinny Del Negro.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, Vinny.

• 26:18Bill Simmons?

  Not a lot of high hopes. And then Blake came in and just ran amok and was dunking on everybody. And it was like, oh my God, this is, the Clippers have never had a guy this fun. The nominees for this award, in no particular order. Jason Tatum's comeback, the Charlotte Hornets, just in general. The All-Star Game. Bam's 83-point game. Wemby leaping into the stratosphere.

• 26:45Bill Simmons?

  Jamal Murray being fucking awesome again and Kawhi Leonard at age 34, becoming 2019 Kawhi one more time. Any other additional nominees for you?

• 26:55Speaker 01

  I added one and it's the Hawks going like 14 and one in 15 games and 20 and three in their last 23 or whatever it is post Trey Young. I mean, there are like mini runs. This is like a schedule aside, this is like an epic turnaround in the middle of the season and like just scorched earth on the entire Eastern Conference. So I put them and they're super fun to watch the way they cut and move and pass and play defense. So I put that was my only extra nominee. So it's a heavy category already.

• 27:24Bill Simmons?

  And you forgot to mention Quinn Snyder looking like he's in Steve Carell's Rooster Show as like the other teacher who may or may not be involved with like one of the coeds. He just has that kind of vibe to him. Well, just like he's, if there's mystery to him, you don't know. You don't know if he's a good guy or a bad guy. Uh, my answer to this. Think I could recover from that. Unexpected delay.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:49Bill Simmons?

  Bam's 83 point game was the winner for me. Just out of nowhere, watching somebody try to score 83 points against the tanking Wizards and humiliate them when I wasn't expecting it on like a Tuesday night was my number one. So what is it for you?

• 28:04Speaker 01

  Did you see Jaime Jaquez Jr. On my pod last week talking about this game?

• 28:08Bill Simmons?

  What'd he say?

• 28:09Speaker 01

  He was just like, we were sitting there in shock that the Wizards just were continuing to let him go one on one. We were like, what are they, what are they doing? Like the guy just put up 35 in the first quarter. You're not sending a second guy. They were like utterly in disbelief.

• 28:25Bill Simmons?

  Do you see what he did in the last game? They played the Wizards again. He had 14 points. He had 83, went from 83 to 14.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  I found everything about it delightful too. I found the discourse, which I was set up to feel like the discourse was going to be insufferable and I found it delightful nonetheless.

• 28:42Bill Simmons?

  I loved it.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  I went, I went serious and sappy with this one. Jason Tatum's injury last year is a flashbulb moment in NBA history. It's the same night as Cooper flag going to Dallas in the lottery or Dallas winning the lottery. A night I'll never forget exactly where I was, what I was doing, when it happened, the whole thing. And I just, given, given the history of Achilles injuries, I was like, my expectation, I'm gonna, I'm gonna level set at, he just doesn't play the next season because this is, you know, conference semifinals. And my optimistic take is gonna be like, he'll come back and look like, you know, half of himself because that's what happens in these things. For him to come back this early and look like this for a team with this many wins is like beyond a delight.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  So I, I picked him.

• 29:30Bill Simmons?

  I didn't want to pick that because it would have been a homer pick, but now I'm jealous you picked it. Maybe I should have picked it as well. All right, we award that to Jason Tatum. I think you, you, you want, well, we each make our case and then we decide. So Jason Tatum wins that. All right, this is one, another really important award. The Gold Club Trial Award for Funniest Story or Moment of the Season.

• 29:53Bill Simmons?

  Our nominees are. Michael Jordan joining NBC's NBA coverage. And it turned out to just be edited from some 10 minute interview he did where he didn't say anything. Matt Ishbia, trash talking everyone when the Suns hit 32 wins, even though he's traded 17 first round picks and had to pay Bradley Beal a hundred million dollars to go away to get into the luxury tax. Paul George's suspension, helping put Philly under the tax. They had to make a trade too. Uh, every Doc Rivers press conference after the Bucks got blown out. Where if you just left it, the TV on and it cuts to Doc and the thing. And he just looks like he lost his dog and he's just like, what did I do? Why am I here?

• 30:38Bill Simmons?

  Uh, nobody going to Chris Paul's party. A tidbit from Ramona Shelburne after, uh, what went wrong with Chris Paul and the Clippers? And about how he threw like a Halloween party and only two Clippers showed up. Joe Missoula renouncing Coach of the Year Award. He, they was asked if he, and he's like, I don't care about that award. Don't ask me about that again. I've never, it was the worst campaign of all time. And then last but not least, Ben Simmons becoming a fisherman.

• 31:08Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if you have any to add.

• 31:09Speaker 01

  Absolutely loaded category. Kudos to everyone. It's an honor truly to be nominated. The only other one I thought of was the Wizards April Fool's joke going wrong from last week.

• 31:22Bill Simmons?

  That's a great one.

• 31:23Speaker 01

  Which got even funnier when they issued a press release apologizing for it. So serious that it was like, is this the White House apologizing for some like some horrible thing or something like it was just out, the whole thing was ridiculous. I, to me, I, I did, I did think there was a, a clear winner, not a clear winner, but a winner that was for me, the winner, should I just say it or do you want to say who you?

• 31:45Bill Simmons?

  You go.

• 31:47Speaker 01

  I think Ben Simmons becoming a professional, semi-professional, amateur, professional, whatever, fisherman takes the cake for me because it was framed in the story by Mark Spears that kind of broke this or whatever terminology you want to use. It was framed as like, you know, he's taking a break from the NBA and this is what he's doing while he kills time until he decides what to do with his comeback in the NBA. Is that, is that really what's, what's going on? So I, in a loaded field, I took that one.

• 32:18Bill Simmons?

  It's great. I'm going with Michael Jordan's NBC stuff, which led to so many jokes and so much comedy, including on your podcast.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  I, I haven't done one in a while. I had a running bit, just insights to mediocrity.

• 32:31Bill Simmons?

  I just thought they presented it like he was going to be this hugely important part of their coverage. And then it was just this interview they clearly filmed over like margaritas at six o'clock in Florida.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  Do you think there was, do you think there was a conversation at some point after the first level of backlash where NBC was like, yo, Michael, like this is not going well.

• 32:51Bill Simmons?

  Can we do another?

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Can you just come in for like, it'll be 20 minutes, just wear a different outfit, different location. He was like, no, I'm good. Like I did exactly what you asked, we're not doing that.

• 33:02Bill Simmons?

  Wow. It was very, uh, Meghan Harry-ish. Uh, next award.

• 33:09Bill Simmons?

  This is a fun one. The Halliburton for Sabonis Award for most fun in-season trade. Only four nominees. Zubats to the Pacers with the Clippers getting back that weird five through nine possible pick plus Matherin, Triple J to Utah, McCollum for Trey, or James Harden,

• 33:31Bill Simmons?

  and a second round pick for Darius Garland. What do you have?

• 33:35Speaker 01

  First of all, I liked that CJ McCollum is now the headliner in the trade for you. It's CJ McCollum for Trey. Supersum is the headliner in the description. I had a couple other nominees, but I

• 33:49Bill Simmons?

  What's here? What are your other nominees?

• 33:50Speaker 01

  I just think the Jared McCain trade is interesting on a number of levels, including how angry it made and continues to make our own Chris Ryan on a daily basis, losing, all the Philly fans losing their mind about it. This came down, I mean, these are, three of these four are very interesting. I don't, I don't find the Trey one all that interesting. I went Harden for Garland because it's almost like a straight up challenge trade, except one guy's 10 years older than the other guy. So it's also just a crazy vote of no confidence in the younger guy for a team that has an enormous amount at stake right now in this very season. So I, that one beat the Zubats one by a hair.

• 34:29Bill Simmons?

  I agree, and that's our winner for this year. And we'll see five years from now, who regrets that trade more? My guess would be Cleveland. Oh, speaking of trades, this is a new category that was created last year. It's called the Luca Trade Award for the most cataclysmic moment of the season. Our nominees, the KD burner scandal, All-Star Sunday, the February tanking crisis with the Utah Jazz, whatever happened that two days before when everybody went nuts, including me. Chauncey Billups arrested after the first game. Coach is one Blazers game arrested. Jimmy Butler, the knee injury, bummer, but also felt like an official maybe end to

• 35:11Bill Simmons?

  the Curry, Draymond whole curse, Steve Kerr, words there. The 65 game rule just completely backfiring over the course of three weeks here. America kind of turning on Inside the NBA, one of our most beloved institutions for the first time, feel like there's some real, real, uh, literally animosity toward maybe these guys don't like the league as much. I think they'll work it out. I'm going to bet on Barkley, who's the best media guy we've ever had. And then, uh, this was, this was brief. It was in November. It was when it seemed like OKC was going to go 76 and 6 while the Clippers were in a free fall. And we had two weeks there where we were terrified OKC was going to go 75 and 7, but then also get the first pick in the draft.

• 35:55Bill Simmons?

  So any other nominees for you in this category?

• 35:57Speaker 01

  No, I think you, you covered all of them and I will congratulate you because Inside the NBA's, uh, public perception of it being nominated here feels like, feels like if the president of the Academy for Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was like, I really love this Norwegian film about death and mortality. We're putting it in the best picture nominees. Okay. We're putting it in there.

• 36:18Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  Uh, I'm going tanking crisis because it's ongoing and just the noise drowned out everything else about a prolonged period of the NBA season. It is utterly embarrassing. Half, I mean, that slate Friday night, two nights ago, top three worst night of NBA basketball in the history of the league. I mean, every game was unwatchable. Uh, and

• 36:42Bill Simmons?

  What was the stat about? It was like 25 points a game was the disparity of, of all the games that night. It was like one of the two worst nights ever for, it was something like that.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  The stat you're citing is by Tim Reynolds at the AP. I don't remember exactly what it was. It was something like it was either the point spreads or the final margin had only been equaled one other time in the NBA and it was also this season. Um, so I, and they're going to change the rules and everyone's just talking about it constantly. So in an absolutely loaded field, I mean, you're talking about a coach getting arrested, rules gone haywire, a burner thing. Uh, I'm, I'm going tanking.

• 37:17Bill Simmons?

  I think you're right because the story still will not die. And every time people get tired of talking about it, something like Friday night happens. And then we're off again. And honestly, we would have talked about it all weekend if the Wemby Joker game hadn't happened. So.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Can we, can we also just congratulate the Blazers on bookending the year with Chauncey Billups at the beginning? And this like bizarre two front office employees get fined and so does the team for illegal contact with Hansun Yang. Before he was draft eligible. That was a new one for me.

• 37:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that was, and it was a couple of years ago, right?

• 37:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Before he was draft eligible.

• 37:51Bill Simmons?

  We, I mentioned this on my mailbag the other day with House. We haven't talked about it, but I, to me. The, the seatbelt is off with the Blazers the next three months.

• 38:02Speaker 01

  I agree, I agree with you.

• 38:04Bill Simmons?

  I, it is weird. Just, we are gonna take the speedboat out into the, into the ocean. And we're gonna fucking floor it to 110 like Sonny Crockett with the Blazers. I am prepared for anything. Like Yanis trade, new coach, maybe they bring in a coach GM. Any sort of wheeling and dealing, uh, this new owner coming in who already has this proven thing from hockey of like, I'm coming in, I'm rolling up my sleeves, let's go. And I just think they're the wild card team this year. I, if I had to bet on a Yanis team. We don't have the odds for this, although I'm sure the prediction market does, which sadly he invested in one of them. I think I would bet on Portland in the number two spot behind the Knicks. I would have the Knicks one and I would have Portland two for Yanis destinations.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  That's, that's.

• 38:51Bill Simmons?

  Cleveland three.

• 38:52Speaker 01

  You, you could make, you could make a lot of money if it, if it comes true, uh, based on what I think the odds. Would actually be, and by the way, kind of forgotten, uh, stage, you know, off stage this year. All time franchise icon Damian Lillard coming back to play basketball for the Blazers next year amid all of this.

• 39:11Bill Simmons?

  Could he come back for the, for the eight, nine game? Or the seven, eight game?

• 39:18Speaker 01

  I have not even considered this possibility.

• 39:20Bill Simmons?

  Imagine that. Dame just shows up.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  He won the three-point contest, so what?

• 39:26Bill Simmons?

  Well, you know what's changed? We didn't, I don't want to talk about the Bucks and Giannis. I just don't. But I think the one thing that's changed is it's acrimonious enough now that I think he's lost the, okay, we'll accommodate whatever Giannis wants. We'll trade you to whatever city you want to go to. Now I think it's like, hey, Giannis, you're going to Portland. I think that's what's flipped. They're going to make the best trade for them and they're not going to worry about if his feelings are hurt or not. That would be my, my take. Next award.

• 39:58Bill Simmons?

  You know, an important award, almost like Best Cinematography, the 1986 Bill Walton Award, biggest impact, under 20 minutes a game guy. This is the true six-man award. Alex Caruso, Hugo, Shireman, Ron Holland, Grant Williams, quietly plus 14 for the, for the Hornets this year. Andre Drummond, and my pick for this, Dennis Jenkins, who has just been a revelation for, for, for the Pistons. And I think he's thrown his hat into the six-man award as well, because he's been the definition of a six-man, a bench guy who,

• 40:41Bill Simmons?

  when you actually need him to start for a couple of weeks, he can do it and carry you. It's a great story. I think he went to four colleges. He's somebody I never really noticed until at some point during this season, like, wow, that, that guy's kind of frisky. And then it's like, man, that Jenkins might be good. And then by the end of the year, it's like, could this guy run a team? He's my pick for this one.

• 41:04Speaker 01

  I do want to point out that Hugo Gonzalez played one minute of garbage time today. Just, just, I just want to point that out. And the initial list of nominees, you've changed it. You're changing it up. I mean, you had Bones Highland on it, and he's apparently been disqualified from, from the award here.

• 41:17Bill Simmons?

  I took Bones off. I, I felt like I maybe shot my wad on that one a little too excitedly because he was good for about a week.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  My two, my two other additions is I, I did a basketball reference search that fit the criteria. I think Mitchell Robinson deserves a hello and Clint Capella deserves a hello. I'm going to say I made a dramatic decision on this. I think the correct answer is Alex Caruso. But last night, watching Detroit, Philadelphia, watching Dennis Jenkins yet again, uh, lead Detroit with his ball handling, with the shot creation, with his defense and all of it, to another easy win without Cade Cunningham. I mean, you can pick whether it's him or Jalen Duran. He, he's the most important reason why they have not only stayed afloat without Cade Cunningham, but just death grip on the number one seed for a week and a half now. They never slipped for a second.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  So I'm flipping my vote from Caruso, because Caruso, we all know Caruso, it's boring. Let's have some fun. Let's honor a guy who's really one of the stories of this particular season. Dennis Jenkins, come out from the back row, wherever they sit you at this ceremony, you're getting this award.

• 42:20Bill Simmons?

  I'm really happy for him. Did a great job. And actually, I thought increased the ceiling of the Pistons, because one of the things I just didn't take them as seriously as a true playoff contender, because I didn't really trust their bench. And I didn't feel like they had, like, the, the right kind of guy who could come in and maybe swing a game or a quarter. And, you know, who knows, when Cade comes back, he doesn't have the car keys in the same way. But I, I do feel like whatever's happened with him the last four weeks, he can come into a game now and flip the game, which is what they had with Schroder last year, too. Do you think, when you're thinking about big picture, guys who, if you're another team, like, should we target this guy? Is he, he's trapped behind another asset? Maybe we can get this guy?

• 43:05Bill Simmons?

  I was thinking him and A.J. Mitchell are the two guys that, if I'm another team trying to figure out how to think outside the box with assets and picks, those would be the two I would look at. Is there anybody else you would put in that category? Somebody who's basically really good, but maybe is being blocked by somebody, or isn't in the perfect situation, or might become available because of the salary cap?

• 43:27Speaker 01

  Off the top of my head, um, I think Kason Wallace would also maybe qualify for this, or is he overqualified for this?

• 43:35Bill Simmons?

  I just, I'm not, just not trading him.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  Teams, teams are-

• 43:39Bill Simmons?

  Would you try, would you ever trade him if you're OKC? I wouldn't ever consider it.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  I mean, OKC's gonna have a whole bunch of different decision trees based on, you know, do we keep all three of these stars together for as long as possible on their max numbers? Do we not? What do we do? Like, people are going to have to go one way or another. It depends what his number's gonna be too. I mean, is, is, is he, does he get to restricted free agency and someone throws a massive offer sheet at him? I don't know. I think teams are thinking about Colin Gillespie like this. On a lower level-

• 44:07Bill Simmons?

  But I mean, he kinda has a team.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, but now that he came off the bench today for the first time in a long, long time because they started Jordan Goodwin over him, and I think they're just experimenting. Do we wanna, now that Jalen Green's a full-time starter, do we wanna just stagger our ball handling? You know, there are, like, Isaiah Collier on a lower level. I don't think that he's a, you know, that great of a starter kinda candidate, but I'm sure I could think of others.

• 44:33Bill Simmons?

  The 1984 John Drew Award for most stunning random statistical achievement. I knew you would love this one. So I have six nominees, and I'm sure you've found a couple. Some of them are easy. Con leading the NBA in threes as a rookie, bonkers. SGA, 55% field goal percentage and 31 points a game as a guard. Scotty Barnes, 100-plus steals and blocks. Derrick White, I don't know if he had a block today, but heading into today, he was 10th in the league in blocks. He had 98 blocks. Derrick White is gonna get to 100 blocks. Donovan Klingon, leading the league in offensive rebounds with 4.5 per

• 45:17Bill Simmons?

  game. And then Wemby, averaging almost 25 points a game in less than 30 minutes a game. He's 24.7, 29.7. His per 36, I think, is at 30. So those would be my candidates. Do you have any other nominees?

• 45:33Speaker 01

  Wait, did you, did you wipe Canipal off?

• 45:35Bill Simmons?

  No, I had, I had Con leading the NBA in threes.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  Okay, so.

• 45:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  First of all, Derrick White had no blocks today. He, there was one play where he, someone went up and he kind of deflected it, but I guess they called it either just a deflection or maybe the guy was passing. It would be very funny if he had 99 blocks going into the last game of the season and started just chasing blocks like some guys chase triple doubles, chase assists at the end of games, just trying to swat everything in sight just to get.

• 45:59Bill Simmons?

  He's like roping people in a shooting so he could go at them.

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, just to cinch, just to cinch this random award. I mean, I guess it's not a season long thing. I thought Bam's 83 point game would be in here and I would even put.

• 46:13Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I was, yeah, I was thinking for the year, but you're right. Bam, so if it was single, single game is eligible, Bam would win.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  But I mean, that was just such a like outlier event. And I, at the SGA, Wilt Chamberlain 20 point streak, you know, it's not a year. It's more than one year. I thought that was interesting.

• 46:31Bill Simmons?

  That's a good one.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  I went, I went basic on this. Call me basic like the teenagers do. I went Con Kepel leading the entire NBA in threes and walking into the league as the best shooter in the entire world, not named Steph Curry, which I think is what he's established himself as in year one. The volume, the different ways he can get shots off movement, off the dribble, both sides of the floor. It's just, you could not say enough superlatives for how great of a shooter he is in year one on a team that has been one of the stories of the season. So I went with sort of the just most boring counting stat one of all of these.

• 47:07Bill Simmons?

  It's boring, but it's the right answer because you can actually bet this before the season on FanDuel. And I always like to, I'll do like a couple bets where I'll have Curry for most threes, parlayed with like Wemby for most blocks and dude, those are the two chalk ones and then put other stuff. I don't think Con even had odds. So when you look at it from that perspective, because they probably have 20 guys that they'll put in there and it'll be like everybody you can think of, right? Jaylen Brown, like everybody.

• 47:35Bill Simmons?

  Con didn't have, as far as I remember, Con didn't have odds. So to go from that to leading the league and made threes as a rookie, which is an achievement in itself. And, you know, he, as a shooter, I thought just looked like peak prime Klay Thompson. Right? With that, like some of the stuff, the quick release stuff that he was doing was like, it took Klay Thompson four years to get to that point and Con's already there. And I don't even know where we go from here with Con. It's not like his release can get faster. I guess he could maybe get, move it five feet out would be the only, I don't know what else he could even add. He's just finished already.

• 48:12Speaker 01

  Can I, can I give you two more nominees?

• 48:14Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  That I forgot. Zion playing 51 out of 52 games and counting. I don't know what, that, that seems to be something. And it, it, another single game one that just was crazy. So maybe it doesn't qualify was the night that Kalen Ware had double-digit points and rebounds and seven blocks and five steals off the bench. And no one had ever done that coming off the bench ever before in the history of the NBA. So that's a little oddity for you.

• 48:41Bill Simmons?

  I actually, I, I don't mind when they give us those things like, he's the first guy since 1963 to have 30 points, 18 rebounds, four assists, five blocks and three steals. Like when they do those hot spot things.

• 48:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:57Bill Simmons?

  But it's a little over the top with how many times, like to me, it's like Jokic had a 20, 20 and 20. That's, that's like a real, that's one where it's like, all right, I can put that into some sort of context. All right. Uh, two coaching ones really quick. I know that this is where you, Zach gets uncomfortable. Zach doesn't.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  I'm not uncomfortable. I'm ready. I'm ready.

• 49:18Bill Simmons?

  Well, it's the Monty Williams Award for worst coaching performance. First of all, do you think Monty Williams is the right person to have this award named after? Do you think he, can you see his face on the bust? Is there somebody else you would put here?

• 49:30Speaker 01

  So it's gotta be somebody else because that year with the Pistons was, I, everyone, it was, felt like everyone immediately agreed on day one. You know what? This was a bad idea. The money was too much. Everyone got carried away. This is a horrible idea. And he had just coached the team to the finals and 60 wins and all that. So I, I feel like we could, we could do better.

• 49:51Bill Simmons?

  Okay. I'll work on that. I'll, I'll talk to the committee. Nominees, um, Doug Christie of the Hindenburg Kings.

• 50:01Bill Simmons?

  Ime Udoka, had to throw him on there. Just said a lot of clogged toilet at the end of these games and the team seems super unhappy. Brian Keefe, who did not double Bam Adebayo for three quarters during a three-point game. Willie Green, no longer with us. Jamal Mosley, who's been on, it feels like the quiet hot seat now for a month and a half. And then, hey, listen, I gotta call it like it is. I think Doc Rivers is on here as well. When you have this many 20-plus point losses, as much as I love the guy, I have to just throw him on there for sake of accuracy.

• 50:40Bill Simmons?

  My winner is Doug Christie. I don't know if we have the same guy.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  The committee is unanimous. Congratulations, Doug Christie. It's truly been an experience to watch across the board.

• 50:54Bill Simmons?

  I think the best thing you can say about it to really capture the moment is sometimes with these coaches, it's like, I wonder if he'll get another head coaching job. With Doug Christie, we have the answer already. He will never have another head coaching job. It will never happen. No other team will hire Doug Christie. It's the nicest thing you could say about it. We've had NFL coaches like this too, where you're watching the tail end of the season, the guy's gonna get fired. It's like, I'm never gonna see, the Patriots had Jared Mayo like that. It's like, we're never gonna see this guy again. Doug Christie, we will never see again as a head coach. I feel comfortable predicting this.

• 51:26Speaker 01

  I had forgotten about that, about this until someone reminded me a couple weeks ago. Remember the brief, this guy's like a Hall of Fame level accomplished almost, but remember the brief John Beeline Cleveland Cavaliers era, which was over in like weeks? And then all these funny stories came out, like the players like, yeah, he names plays after animals. So we're out there like Colin Panda and like Anteater. And everyone's like, what are we doing here? That was, that was a good one.

• 51:53Bill Simmons?

  See, I had this thing when I did the Mailbag with House about when we go to commercial for League Pass, instead of seeing the people dancing for the Jumbotron, it's little two-minute mini documentaries about players, teams. That would be a funny wrinkle to it. It's just a two-minute John Beeline.

• 52:09Bill Simmons?

  Documentary about the guy who had to leave in 40 games and named plays after animals.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  I think it was animals.

• 52:16Bill Simmons?

  I learned about him.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  I think it was animals. It was a hippopotamus.

• 52:20Bill Simmons?

  A more positive award, the Brad Stevens Award for Most Untankable Coach, named after Brad Stevens 2015 performance when the team was built to tank, was supposed to tank, and just wouldn't tank. So our nominees are Joe Missoula, Jordan Naught, and Tiago Splitter, unless you can think of anybody else.

• 52:40Speaker 01

  Well, all the coaches who would have been, like Jordi Fernandez would have been in this conversation a year ago. Turns out you can tank with Jordi Fernandez as your head coach, even with Rick Carlisle as your head coach. If you try hard enough, you can tank with a Hall of Fame, 1,000 games won, all that kind of head coach. So I could not, I had no other nominees.

• 52:58Bill Simmons?

  I think my answer.

• 53:02Bill Simmons?

  Oh, man, this is a tough one because this is basically one of the proxies for Coach of the Year. At least who you think is going to be second. It's between Missoula and I, and I can't decide. So you're gonna have to decide.

• 53:14Speaker 01

  I went with Joe Missoula. I don't think Charles Lee deserved maybe a mention here as well as a nominee because I don't think the Hornets had any idea. I don't think Hornets brass ownership had any idea that any of this was in play at the start of the season. In fact, I think they would have preferred like, hey, let me get another bite at the apple.

• 53:30Bill Simmons?

  You know who had an idea?

• 53:33Bill Simmons?

  He's got two thumbs.

• 53:34Speaker 01

  And he's you.

• 53:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I tried to tell you.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  I'll go Joe Missoula just because he's, he's, the Celtics are the two seed. He's going to win Coach of the Year. They have Gap Year stamped all over them by everybody and they rejected the label and like just threw it in the trash. And I have to ask you then, when he wins Coach of the Year, because I think he's going to win Coach of the Year, having denounced the entire notion of the award, what do you think he should do when he's given the award? Do you think he should just let his whole staff come up and accept it? Do you think he should throw it in a garbage can? Do you think he should like, like, give a, like, a speech about how stupid the whole thing is? Do you think he should let the players accept it? I'm serious. Like, what should he do? He has preemptively said, this award that I'm about to get is a piece of garbage that is dumb.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  So what does one do then upon receiving it?

• 54:23Bill Simmons?

  I'm looking at the odds now. Bickerstaff is still favored. He's minus 240. Missoula is plus 230. I don't think, I think Bickerstaff is gonna win.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  You're right. Maybe Bicker, you know, with the way they've, I would vote for Missoula, but with the way they've played. It says a lot about the culture that he's instilled there and all that. So yeah, that's maybe, maybe I'm wrong.

• 54:42Bill Simmons?

  To answer your question, I think he would refuse to hold it, almost like NHL players refusing to hold the conference, whatever trophy that they get, because you're not allowed to touch anything until the Stanley Cup. And I think he'd be dismissive of it and, and probably have a speech about how dumb awards are for people trying to lead their players. Make everybody feel bad they voted for him.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  You know what the real award is? It's the journey. It's not, it's not the destination. It's the journey.

• 55:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think it is Missoula because I still don't know how, this team's going to win like 56 games. It's, it just seems impossible. Now, I know they, they had health, good fortune with, with the best three guys on the team, Jalen, Pritchard, White. Those guys have stayed healthy and that's really helped them. Tatum didn't play for the first three fourths of the season. Um, I don't, I just don't understand how they're going to finish 56 and 26. It's, it's impossible. Their 14 wins higher than the over under. All right, we're going to take a break on Spotify. We're going to keep going on Netflix.

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• 57:24Bill Simmons?

  The late 1990s Chauncey Billups Award, best reason never to sell your stock. So explanation for this award. Chauncey Billups drafted by the Boston Celtics, 1997. Watched him play for 50 games. There was some talent there. My big takeaway was I'm not sure this guy's a point guard. I don't know if I, great athlete, I don't know if I see it. They turned him into Kenny Anderson. One of my more regrettable takes, I had my old website at this time. And I was like, I kind of like the trade. Kenny Anderson's a real point guard. Didn't realize at that point that he'd had some personal issues going on. Billups bounces around. I can't think of anybody who would have kept their stock with him.

• 58:08Bill Simmons?

  Lands in Minnesota, turns his career around and then goes to Detroit. And the rest is history. I don't know if you have your version of a Chauncey Billups where you learned your lesson not to give up on, on great talent.

• 58:24Bill Simmons?

  Is there somebody from the past?

• 58:25Speaker 01

  There definitely is, but I'm blanking on the spot because I was so focused on the nominees.

• 58:31Bill Simmons?

  All right, we'll do the nominees.

• 58:32Speaker 01

  Prestigious award.

• 58:33Bill Simmons?

  This is a really important award. Lamela Ball, Jared McCain, only because of Darryl. Darryl said, we sold high on Jared McCain. Maybe he didn't sell high enough. Anthony Black, I can, I can report firsthand, I gave up on this guy. Duncan Robinson, who I think we've all given up on at least four different times over the course of his career, and then he always rallies back. And then Peyton Watson, I never saw it with Peyton Watson, never thought he'd be a guy. And there's probably others, but those were the five. Who else did you have as nominees?

• 59:06Speaker 01

  By the way, you know who else? They didn't give up on Peyton Watson, but they made a very clear decision. We're paying one guy and not the other. And we paid Christian Brown and not Peyton Watson. I would nominate just late season, late season nominees, Cody Williams is like flirting with next year's list, maybe. Bones, Bones Highland, the entire, the entire Atlanta Hawks franchise. And, and I'm going to preemptively argue with you again and Goldsberry again. I am just going to stake my claim to the Amen Thompson portion of this argument now and say, anyone who labels him a disappointment or sells their stock is going to regret it.

• 59:44Bill Simmons?

  Leading the league in minutes. Do you know that?

• 59:48Speaker 01

  That is that good, bad, nothing?

• 59:50Bill Simmons?

  I'm just saying, like, it's not like he's having a bad season. I just wonder, I wonder what the next level is in. But you might be right. And we might have been, it might have been too harsh. I think our winner for this category is LaMelo Ball. I don't know if you have, you never sold your stock.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  I was gonna say.

• 1:00:05Bill Simmons?

  You would always get mad at people.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  As someone like, I'm checking my retirement accounts every, every day. And like, I've just, LaMelo has single-handedly paid for seven vacations that I'm going to take in a couple of years. So I, no brainer for me. It's LaMelo Ball.

• 1:00:20Bill Simmons?

  There was a moment, even this summer, definitely, even in the, when they were four and 14, first like 20 games of the year, when it was LaMelo, it was Trey Young and Ja. And I think I might even have been done a podcast segment of which guy would you bail on the fastest? Who would you kind of hold on to? And LaMelo was the clear choice out of the three, like, I would give this one a little longer. But the point is, he was closer to that conversation than is this one of the best point guards in the league? That conversation. He, the seesaw had swung to this side.

• 1:00:55Bill Simmons?

  And he's rallied out. This will be, when you talk, we'll do, uh, next week, we'll do the 25 most intriguing guys in the playoffs on this pod.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:01:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we did that last year. Yeah, we did that last year. We did it at Grantland way back when. Uh, one of the last Grantland basketball hours.

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Grant, Grantland?

• 1:01:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, remember Grantland? Great website. Uh,

• 1:01:15Speaker 01

  Funny name.

• 1:01:16Bill Simmons?

  But we'll do that last week. I'll be interested to see where LaMelo falls in the 25 most intriguing players of the playoffs. There's a world where he's just fucking awesome and, and basically pulls the 2009 Derrick Rose against the no KG Celtics and just like, I'm here.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  How many years did that series take off your life? A year? A full year?

• 1:01:39Bill Simmons?

  I mean,

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  Six months minimum.

• 1:01:41Bill Simmons?

  The two best first round series ever were that one and Spurs Clippers, right?

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  I mean, you still probably have like Ben Gordon PTSD from that series.

• 1:01:50Bill Simmons?

  That was the one where a lot of people, Ben, Ben Gordon became Bitcoin.

• 1:01:56Bill Simmons?

  Where he just bought, you bought in hard on Ben Gordon and it came back to bite you. So you agree on LaMelo?

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  I do.

• 1:02:02Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  I do.

• 1:02:03Bill Simmons?

  Uh, we'll go quickly here. The Freeman Williams Award for biggest black hole. Go look at Freeman Williams's BasketballReference.com if you want to have a good time. Nominees, Cam Thomas, Zach Levine, Ace Bailey, not his fault. He's on a team that wants him to shoot. And then, uh, Malik Monk. I don't know if you've watched him recently on the Kings, but he's really like, I want to get traded this summer. I need some tape and, uh, has been dialing it up. Uh, it's gotta be Cam Thomas though. I just say as long as he's in the league, I think, I think he has to get this.

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  I abstained from,

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  I abstained from the voting.

• 1:02:41Bill Simmons?

  Because you got into it with one of the nominees over the summer. Well, he got into it with you.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  I felt it was appropriate and respectful of the process to abstain from the voting.

• 1:02:51Bill Simmons?

  Cam Thomas is the winner. The 2007 Kevin Garnett Award. So this is literally an award with Kevin Garnett's face from the 2006, '07 season. You have to like capture the face. Trap star who needs help escaping the most.

• 1:03:08Bill Simmons?

  Nominees, Steph Curry,

• 1:03:12Bill Simmons?

  Giannis, Domantas Sabonis, Laurie Markkinen,

• 1:03:19Bill Simmons?

  and my personal winner, Trey Murphy.

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. I didn't see that one coming.

• 1:03:23Bill Simmons?

  Save Trey Murphy. Get him to a real team. I've had enough. Enough of him on a not a real team. Let's put him on a real team. Let's put him on a team that has chemistry, that has guys that seem to like each other, that doesn't need five basketballs. Let's put him in a good situation. Let's put him on the Spurs. Let's put him on the Thunder.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  Let's not put him on those.

• 1:03:44Bill Simmons?

  Let's put him on the Celtics.

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 1:03:47Bill Simmons?

  Let's put him on the Pistons. Let's put him on the Hornets and go fucking crazy. Put Trey Murphy somewhere else. No more Trey Murphy on New Orleans.

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  The world does not need Trey Murphy on the San Antonio Spurs or the Oklahoma City Thunder. No, we don't need that.

• 1:04:04Bill Simmons?

  Well, from a fear titles standpoint, yeah, fair. I'm just looking out for Trey Murphy. I feel bad for him. Put him on a real team.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Here's my thought process. Feels a little early for Trey Murphy to win this award. Maybe I'm wrong about that. Markkinen's finally coming out of four years of Utah purgatory onto a good team next year. Giannis is, I'm just, we're, we don't want to talk about it. It's whatever. And Steph doesn't, I don't think, want to leave the Warriors. And then I look around and I'm like, Domantas Sabonis, do you think he cries every night when he goes to sleep? I mean, do you think he actually weeps?

• 1:04:40Bill Simmons?

  He probably looks at his plus minus on that NBA site and sees the minus 15.5 or whatever it is.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  Do you think he watches YouTube clips of himself lighting the beam three seasons ago, just, and his wife is like, hey, Tomas, are you doing it again? Come to bed. Are you doing it again?

• 1:04:59Bill Simmons?

  We're not lighting the beam anymore. He's an interesting one. I would still have Trey Murphy, so maybe we'll split the vote. Sabonis is an interesting one because I think people have given up on him as like, you could actually win three straight playoff rounds with this guy as one of your four best guys.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  How about one playoff round?

• 1:05:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  Well, four, all four best guys is too many guys, but, but this is why, so this is how I interpreted the word. Who needs help escaping the most? I think he needs help in the form of another team valuing him more highly than the rest of the league and the consensus around the league than, and that they probably should. I think he needs that kind of help.

• 1:05:36Bill Simmons?

  I don't know what the team is. Because the, the defense stuff with him is rough. On the other hand, I think he's an incredibly skilled offensive player. That if you put him with other really high IQ players. I always thought like, if you just put him on the Warriors. With the way they play and the kind of guys that they get, I feel like he would thrive for them.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  Maybe the Bulls could get Sabonis if they take back Levine and DeRozan and just put all of the morass of players who have switched teams onto one team.

• 1:06:04Bill Simmons?

  Trump ruled two days ago, the Bulls and Kings are not allowed to trade anymore.

• 1:06:07Speaker 01

  This has been my rule. This has been my, maybe that should have been my rule.

• 1:06:10Bill Simmons?

  He did it on Truth Social.

• 1:06:14Bill Simmons?

  So you have Sabonis, I have Trey Murphy.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:17Bill Simmons?

  Oh, this is one of the big awards.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:06:20Bill Simmons?

  The Perk Thinks Jokic Pads His Stats Award for the most scalding hot media take of the year. Perk did say this a couple of years ago.

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  That wasn't even the hot, that wasn't even the most scalding. I, I was not, if I, I was not on TV with him, but I was there at ESPN. That was not even the most scalding thing he said about that MVP race.

• 1:06:39Bill Simmons?

  I remember. Uh, I, first of all, I want to apologize because I should have been keeping track of these during the year and I didn't. So I had to kind of go off memory and some Google searches. But here, here's what we have for this category, uh, six nominees. Perk says in December that Kawhi Leonard was the worst free agent signing ever. That one like actually like burned my eyebrows. Stephen A. recently, I think this happened after the OKC game, suggesting Luca fakes injuries when he's not playing well. That became a whole thing.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  I missed that one.

• 1:07:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that became a thing. Um, Perk said Charlotte limited Lamelo's minutes to lower his scoring average. So he won't be an all-star and that would make him easier to trade. There was an OKC writer, Clemente Almanza. When the expansion thing started, who said, uh, Seattle fans, before they get the Sonics back and their history back. Should have to apologize to Oklahoma City fans before they get their history back. In other words, we're going to hold your history until you apologize to us. Mark that one down. Stephen A. pushing Jalen Brown for MVP in mid-March. I love Jalen Brown, but that one, that ship had sailed.

• 1:07:51Bill Simmons?

  And then Stephen A. blame LeBron for ruining the slam dunk contest, which he was never in.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  But that's why he ruined it, though.

• 1:08:01Bill Simmons?

  The take was he should have been in it, but one of the things with LeBron, he really only has like two dunks. I mean, there's, he was smart to avoid the dunk contest. He's, he's like a cock back and one hand dunk guy. I don't, there was a reason he never wanted to be in it. My winner for this, unless you have any other, do you have any other nominees?

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  I don't.

• 1:08:20Bill Simmons?

  The winner is the OKC writer demanding an apology from the Seattle fans. I thought that was absolutely unbelievable. I was in awe of that take.

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  I couldn't decide what to do with that one because I don't know how to say this. It just, it feels more appropriate to deflate Stephen A. Smith and Kendrick Perkins than it does to deflate him. But that was so wildly insulting to an entire metropolitan area. And not only that, how would it work exactly? Are these handwritten letters that everyone in certain zip codes has to write?

• 1:08:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you have to digitally sign it.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  Is it the mayor? Is it like, what, what exactly are you asking for? And you're holding the Sonics earned history, the stuff that happened in Seattle over their head? Like ransom for like, like a kidnapping?

• 1:09:12Bill Simmons?

  You guys won the title last year and it was like the second title for the Oklahoma City Thunder franchise. The first one was in Seattle. All right. Another really important word, the Virginia Beach Kings Award for most contrived story on a slow news day. Remember the Virginia Beach Kings?

• 1:09:29Speaker 01

  I do.

• 1:09:29Bill Simmons?

  Remember when that had like a minute? All right, nominees here. Expansion being approved for 2020, 29. Without any bids or 22 votes from the, 23 votes from the owners. That somehow became a story. We picked the season and the cities. Well, you don't have bids or owners yet.

• 1:09:50Bill Simmons?

  LeBron using Rich Paul's podcast on the Ringer to try to get the Lakers to trade Austin Reeves. This was an actual thing people thought.

• 1:10:02Bill Simmons?

  Stephen A. Feuding with the New Orleans Pelicans. This happened.

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  Another one that I missed completely and I Googled it and I was like, oh wow. This is a real thing.

• 1:10:09Bill Simmons?

  It's like a two day feud.

• 1:10:12Bill Simmons?

  Can the Jays coexist in Boston was the thing that kept happening over and over and over again.

• 1:10:19Bill Simmons?

  The Clippers want LeBron to replace the vacated Kawhi cap space. This was a recent one. I really enjoyed this one. It would have to involve Kawhi somehow being, somehow, somehow his contract being voided? What are the odds of that? Like honestly, like run our test. His contract, the Charles Spree roll, his contract didn't get voided when he choked his coach.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  We'll find out when the elite law firm of Wachtel, Lipton, Rosen and Katz finishes its investigation in 2030.

• 1:10:49Bill Simmons?

  Five years from now, yeah. And then, uh, last but not least, a recent one, LeBron doesn't like Memphis.

• 1:10:54Speaker 01

  Well, that's, that's not a contrived story. That was, he, he said, I don't like, basically said it.

• 1:11:00Bill Simmons?

  And then doubled down and said, I don't like Memphis either. I mean, I'm Milwaukee either. Uh, your answer for this, or do you have any other nominees?

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  Um, I don't, I don't know if these fit. Um, I just remember a lot of media noise about, you know, we gotta wait to see what the Bucks really are. We can't judge the Bucks until Kevin Porter Jr. Comes back and plays with Yanis. Like, we gotta wait. We gotta wait for that. Um, can the three guards coexist in San Antonio or do they just need to trade the Aaron Fox like right now? Cause these two young guys are so good. I thought that was silly. And, and it's, it's burbling up now. We're going to talk about versions of it, uh, coming up, but specifically like, did or did Jason Kidd not know or know about the Luca trade, uh, ahead of time are all nominees for me. Um, and another one that

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  I might actually vote for, this might've been limited to, uh, Lebatard's platform and we all love Dan Lebatard and his show, but there was a day like a month.

• 1:11:59Bill Simmons?

  Speak for yourself.

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  There was a day like a month ago where they had, unless it was AI and I always assume everything is AI, but it was like a long clip I saw. They finally had the discussion of like, basically, are we sure Erik Spoelstra is a good coach? Are we sure like none of this is his fault? And I was like, wow, Spoh? Yeah. I am sure Erik Spoelstra is a good coach.

• 1:12:22Bill Simmons?

  Wow. That was a segment?

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  Uh, so of all your nominees, I think I would go with Stephen A. Feuding with the Pelicans because it's ridicu- it's just, just saying it out loud is like the tagline of a ridiculous movie that happened and like, but, but it's like, yeah, so I'd go with that one.

• 1:12:44Bill Simmons?

  I think that's the winner as well. All right.

• 1:12:48Bill Simmons?

  One of our big ones. This is like bringing up best actor right now, the McKeskey Award for best American white guy. Previous winners, again, it's an American white guy. Previous winners include Chet Holmgren, Tyler Hero, Kevin Love, Mike Miller.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  Do two of them, do two of them come out and introduce the nominees? Like, does Tyler Hero and Kevin Love like come out?

• 1:13:08Bill Simmons?

  We like, and please welcome Kevin Love and Mike Miller. With Tyler Hansbrough.

• 1:13:17Bill Simmons?

  I, I'm in awe of how loaded this class is.

• 1:13:20Speaker 01

  It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable.

• 1:13:22Bill Simmons?

  Nominees, Cooper Flag, just scored 51 points as a 19-year-old, Concanipple, Peyton Pritchard, Chet Holmgren, Austin Reeves, and Donovan Klingon. Anybody else who needs to be a nominee here?

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  Well, first of all, when I told my wife about this award, she, as a Croatian person was like, wait a second, why just American white guy? You know, wouldn't we, wouldn't we Yugoslavians clean up?

• 1:13:48Bill Simmons?

  It has to be American.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  I was like, well, that's, that's the point. Like, we just have, you have so many overqualified people.

• 1:13:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  I had no notes on the nominees. It's an absolutely loaded field, other than I might, although he's missed so many games, I think Tyler Hero's had a sneaky good season. I went with, it, it, I agonized over this.

• 1:14:09Speaker 01

  Austin Reeves' career year, Cooper Flag and Canipple, what they're doing. Consistency, defensive dominance, health this year, dominant team. I'm giving Chet Holmgren a repeat win for this award.

• 1:14:23Speaker 01

  It's a tough one.

• 1:14:27Bill Simmons?

  So I thought about it long and hard.

• 1:14:30Bill Simmons?

  And it comes down to which of these guys is the most reasonable all NBA vote if they if one of them ended up on a third team all NBA? Which means the answer is Chet Holmgren. We have Rookie of the Year for flagging Knipple.

• 1:14:46Bill Simmons?

  The other guys, I think Reeves.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  Reeves if he played more.

• 1:14:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, if he hadn't gotten hurt, I think there's a real chance he could have taken this, but I think it's Chet Holmgren. Back to back McKeskey's for Chet Holmgren.

• 1:14:59Speaker 01

  I think agents have to start working this into their contracts for like, if he gets the McKeskey award, $15,000 bonus. Not a huge, not a huge bonus by NBA standards, but if he gets the Bill Simmons McKeskey award, 15K.

• 1:15:14Bill Simmons?

  It would be funny if they put it in the CBA and you got like a 5% salary cap bump.

• 1:15:21Bill Simmons?

  We did an old ESPN or Grantland Call I did, we actually, somebody made a fake McKeskey trophy for this. And it's one of the funniest things we ever ran. It's McKeskey's face on this bronze, uh, whatever. And as always, I encourage people to go onto YouTube and watch McKeskey highlights. Okay.

• 1:15:40Speaker 01

  It's the fact that you have to say as always about that.

• 1:15:42Bill Simmons?

  As always, I just.

• 1:15:43Speaker 01

  As I frequently tell people.

• 1:15:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, listen.

• 1:15:48Bill Simmons?

  The Dennis Rodman Award for biggest ongoing distraction. There's not going to be a lot of mystery here. Maybe there will be. Cause we have Giannis versus Milwaukee. We have Ja Morant, whatever the hell was going on with him in Memphis. Kawhi and the aspiration scandal. Is it a scandal? We still don't know. And then, uh, tanking. Any other nominees for you here?

• 1:16:07Speaker 01

  65 game rule.

• 1:16:09Bill Simmons?

  Yep, okay.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  Burner.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  Scandal, whatever you want to say. Mark Cuban versus the Adelsons versus the ultimate regret of life. I just, it's Yanis, it's Yanis because it's, it's, it's the worst kind of distraction because it will never stop. And it's reached a point of oversaturation.

• 1:16:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's kind of amazed me that Kawhi and aspiration isn't going to win this. But I think people tuned this story out a while ago. And I think a lot of people, including myself, were like, can you just tell me what happened when, when we have a final verdict? We can't escape this Yanis story. This is like, every time you think, you think, it's like poison ivy. Every, every time you think you got rid of it, all of a sudden it's back again. And it's been going on since August. And it's been going on in a way that people are now like, like, I think vehemently tired of it. Like when he started going against them this week because they wouldn't let him play and they, they like, I don't even think people wanted to report it anymore. Then people are just like, just fucking trade them at the end of the year. We're all done with this. Just trade them.

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  This latest round was bordering on the absurd on a lot of different levels. Whether he's healthy enough to play, we'll, we'll talk more, whatever. We may, we won't talk more about it, but that's my pick.

• 1:17:31Bill Simmons?

  The Andre Blatch Award, most immediately regrettable contract or extension last 12 months. Named after Andre Blatch, who signed an extension that didn't kick in for a year. And over the course of that year, they became so unenamored with him that when they were allowed to amnesty, anyone on their roster, they amnesty'd him before his extension started.

• 1:17:52Speaker 01

  Amnesty was really a great time.

• 1:17:54Bill Simmons?

  I love that. I think they should bring it back. I honestly, like, you should be able to use an amnesty once every 10 years.

• 1:18:01Speaker 01

  There should have to, there should have to be a ceremony too. Like everyone's got to go to a podium and it's like the opposite of being, it's like the opposite of being knighted. You're like something like that.

• 1:18:10Bill Simmons?

  Great. Uh, regrettable contracts, Palo, Jaren Jackson, Myles Turner, Dorian Finney Smith, Chris Paul, any other nominees?

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  Oh, I've got nominees. You want nominees?

• 1:18:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:23Speaker 01

  Just, just a couple of nominees. Uh, I was a little surprised and I, I wouldn't pick him, nor would I even nominate him. I was a little surprised De'Aaron Fox's name did not come up. And I think the reason is if you're going to win 60 games, you just get a pass and he's been largely good.

• 1:18:38Bill Simmons?

  That's how I felt.

• 1:18:39Speaker 01

  I would actually, just to pick a winner, my winner for this, I would go off the nomination list, like, but like ordering off the menu. I'll take, I'll take, uh, for my main course, I'll take Jakob Pertle, uh, contract extension. Like, since like almost $30 million a year, he wasn't even extension, he wasn't even like, uh, becoming a free agent for two years.

• 1:19:00Bill Simmons?

  He had a bad back?

• 1:19:01Speaker 01

  He has back issues. He's just fine as a starting NBA center. And the Raptors were like, you know what? We don't even want you to wait, uh, let alone two years, not even six months. Here's $90 million or a hundred and whatever million dollars. And he's had a largely forgettable injury riddled season. It never, it was the most inexplicable contract of the summer. So I'm going off, off the menu and ordering

• 1:19:26Bill Simmons?

  You know what?

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  A big fat helping of Jakob Pertle.

• 1:19:29Bill Simmons?

  I'm not perfect. Even heroes have warts. Pertle should have been on there. That's my mistake. Um, I think it's a great choice. It made no sense when they did it. Also, like, when we did the worst contract draft with Waz and House, I was going hard on centers just because I feel like we've learned that there's this giant inefficiency with how much you should pay a center. And if you're 20 million and up, unless this guy is Wemby or Jokic, maybe not a great idea. And Toronto just ignored all the evidence and went all in on more Jakob Pertle, who got dominated by Ndamia Kana today.

• 1:20:02Speaker 01

  It was, it would be one thing if he were approaching free agency and you thought, well, we're a good team. We don't really have a replacement for him. Like, that's the bird rights trap, as Hollinger calls it, that you fall into with your own guys. This was like, why, what, what? Like?

• 1:20:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Really good one. 2027 Ewing Theory Award for the star most likely to be Ewing Theory next season. Giannis, Zion, Kawhi, Ja, KD. Any other nominees?

• 1:20:28Speaker 01

  So to be clear, what we're picking here is this person goes to a new team and his old team thrives?

• 1:20:34Bill Simmons?

  Basically KD and the Suns this year.

• 1:20:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:20:37Bill Simmons?

  I think the Suns are like a stealth viewing theory team right now, not that they're going to win the title. But uh, uh, my pick is not Giannis as much as I wanted to pick that one. I think Zion was my favorite one for this.

• 1:20:52Speaker 01

  It's a good pick. Um, they're, they're clearly, if they keep your guy Trey Murphy, uh, instead of trading him or getting him to a new place as you so want, and they keep the other infrastructure around the, what they have now and just excise Zion or turn him into a piece that fits better or whatever. That's a, that's a pretty solid case. I went with, I went with Ja Morant.

• 1:21:16Speaker 01

  It's a little hard because the Grizzlies don't really have a roadmap to being like, what's, who's, who's the best player on the team? If not Ja Morant, are we going this all? Am I going so far all in on Ty Jerome? But I, I just like the way, I mean, who knows what of their young guys other than Coward and some of their other core guys will be on the team next year. I've enjoyed watching the remnants of the Grizzlies play. They play hard. They've sort of bought into a style of play. They play defense or super handsy. They play fast and I could see a world where like the Morant cloud is removed and they just like become a really fun 34 win team next year.

• 1:21:52Bill Simmons?

  It's become a tough place. It's, it's definitely like a trap game every at Memphis game now where these teams go, they all hate staying at the hotel, which finally became a thing in the last week. They don't really like going there. You're playing a team that's tanking and they just kind of sneak up on you. All right. So we'll split that vote. Uh, quick aside for, this was not on the list that I sent you and

• 1:22:14Speaker 01

  I forgot about Edie, by the way. I forgot, even forgot about

• 1:22:17Bill Simmons?

  Oh yeah. Edie comeback. Um, Mike Smeltz, who I think was in the mailbag, the last one we did, he's, he wanted to know why the MVP wasn't on the made up awards, not most valuable player, most valuable Poku. Given to the bad player and tanky team who's given too many minutes as a stealth way to make the team lose and brought back the 2021 season when they unleashed Poku and he shot 37% and was one of the great tanking weapons anyone's had. First of all, my apologies, that should absolutely, that next year we will have the most valuable Poku, will be on the menu. He suggested Bez

• 1:22:58Bill Simmons?

  Mbang on the Utah Jazz who all of a sudden was playing all these big minutes for the Jazz as a possibility. I guess my issue with this award is I don't know if we'll ever be able to recreate Poku again. The combo of how bad he was, but then also this weird hope and love that the Thunder fans had for him, like there might be something there, maybe Presti did it again and there was nothing there. I don't know if we see that again.

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  So Bez is among a pile of guys who are suddenly playing 40 to 48 minutes. I mean, literally entire games. And so I think to win this award, the essence of this award is you can't just sort of exist out there as a three and D kind of guy for 48 minutes. You have to have the ball and do a lot of super damaging things with it. So I'd have to think hard about who that really is this year.

• 1:23:48Bill Simmons?

  I don't think the guy exists. And in some cases, it's people like Sensabaugh played 43 minutes today, but he's actually good.

• 1:23:55Speaker 01

  He's fine.

• 1:23:56Bill Simmons?

  26. So it really, I don't, I don't, maybe most valuable Poku can't be an award, or maybe it's, oh, maybe it's a, you know, when you see it, it's like, like when the Oscars, when they bring out the guy and they give somebody like, it's Harrison Ford, it's a special Irving Thalberg Award for special achievement. Maybe that's how it has to go.

• 1:24:16Speaker 01

  By the way, not a hot, not a hot take. Shrinking is a favorite in the little household. I just, I say it every episode to my wife. Harrison Ford, American treasure. It's not, it's not a hot take, but I like to be reminded of it. He's so good in the show and he's just, he's an American treasure. These.

• 1:24:33Bill Simmons?

  Oh, now you're, now you're sucking up to Mallory. League pass broadcast team of the year. I'm not even going to give nominees. This is your, your category. You care about this the most. Who was your favorite league pass broadcast team this year?

• 1:24:46Speaker 01

  So I all encompassing the broadcast crew, the play of the team, how those two things mesh together. And it's got to be Charlotte. It's got to be Charlotte with Eric Collins and Dell Curry and watching that team run up and down the floor and shoot threes and dunk out loops. It's like, look, we all know who the sort of pet broadcast teams are. We all love the New York broadcast, the Brooklyn broadcast, lots and lots. I love the Toronto broadcast, but the whole experience of Eric Collins just losing his mind 10 times a game for a team that like, like you watch the Wizards broadcast and they'll lose their mind over like Bob Carrington making a mid-range jump shot like, oh, Bob, look at Bob Carrington showing out

• 1:25:26Speaker 01

  for the Wizards timeout. Wizards are down by 21. Eric Collins is like going crazy for legitimate basketball reasons. And the whole thing, the uniforms are great, the court's great, the honeycombs, the hornet, everything. Charlotte.

• 1:25:40Bill Simmons?

  I had them as well. It's, I think the only two, well, there's three because Eddie Johnson does the Phoenix. There's only three teams where I make sure I switch the, you can switch the broadcast feed. They'll give you one. And if it's Charlotte, if it's Phoenix, or the other one for me is Denver, I will switch over to their broadcast teams to hear their people do the games.

• 1:26:06Speaker 01

  So I never, I never voted in the, the top 100, the ESPN 100 that they used to do when we would rank the players. But this is how you would, this is how they would be ranked. You would just get like snap decision on two players and you would just do that a bunch of times and they would then spit out your rankings of the players that way. That would be a fun column someday if we really just wanted to piss a lot of people off or delight a lot of people is just like that, but for league press broadcasters, just like, okay, it's, it's Philly, Detroit. Who are you listening to? Snap. And just like, me too. Just see and just see how it ends up.

• 1:26:44Bill Simmons?

  You said more than enough about Eric Collins. I want to chime in. I think he's spectacular. He is like everything you would ever want from your local play by play guy because he's like Drew Carter's like this with the Celtics too. They're overqualified to be doing the local games. Like they're really national guys. The difference with Collins is he's been in Charlotte for a while. Really cares, but cares like not in a way where it's like you're a little embarrassed for them. Like they're cheering for the team too much. Like he really cares. And like somebody will make a shot against them. It'd be like two minutes left. They're down one and then some fuck up and somebody will hit a three against them and he'll, he'll just say some crazy sentence like, oh, isn't that a chainsaw on the tibia?

• 1:27:28Bill Simmons?

  Like just, he just has like this endless thing of crazy comments.

• 1:27:34Speaker 01

  The Hornets are hanging on like a cat on a screen door.

• 1:27:37Bill Simmons?

  He's, he's a 10 out of 10. I love Eric Collins. I'm so happy that.

• 1:27:42Bill Simmons?

  So good. And Dell's great. I watched the whole Dell Curry day. I thought it was so genuine with those guys and shout out to them.

• 1:27:50Speaker 01

  Note for announcers. A lot of what you're saying is he's enthusiastic without being like a gratuitous homer. And part of that is unlike some other homers, never hostile to the other team or the opposing players for no reason. Never going out of your way to criticize sometimes unjustly, somebody on the other team.

• 1:28:13Bill Simmons?

  Who, I'm blanking on her name on the Nuggets broadcast, Katie.

• 1:28:17Speaker 01

  Katie Wingy, Katie Winji.

• 1:28:19Bill Simmons?

  So she's done a couple of games. I thought she was fantastic. Like as the color person, I really thought like she had a high level, smart, like breaking down what was going on. I thought she was really good. It seems like they bounced the partners around a little bit, but I thought she was really good.

• 1:28:36Speaker 01

  She played at a fairly high level in college, I think. And it seems to me that they're making her the heir apparent for whenever Scott Hastings.

• 1:28:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:44Speaker 01

  Played against Larry Bird in college whenever he retires.

• 1:28:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I did the rare, I never add Twitter follows anymore, but she was really good. I was like, I'm following her on Twitter.

• 1:28:54Bill Simmons?

  The Lou Brown Award for out of nowhere surprise team where we have Phoenix, Charlotte, Boston and post Trey Atlanta. Loaded category. I think it's probably Phoenix though. Who had them as the seventh seed? It would have been absurd. Every other one sort of makes sense. Right? Phoenix does, still doesn't make sense. I still don't understand it.

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  Uh, there's just, you get a lot of mileage out of playing hard, chemistry, good top end talent in Booker, good complimentary pieces, great coaching. I mean, they're only gonna finish with like, whatever, only. They're gonna finish with 45 wins. So it's not like they've blown the doors off people. Certainly, they've blown the doors off expectations. I still went with the Hawks. If, like, I issued a formal apology for my Hawks optimism on my podcast around Christmas. I sat down and I reckoned with what I had done and, and what I had convinced people was gonna happen with the Hawks. I actually thought about filming it in the vein of Will Smith's taking questions about why he slapped Chris Rock. I was gonna sit down and wear the baseball hat that he had and like, we just ran out of time and I was gonna be like,

• 1:30:00Speaker 01

  read fake questions like, Zach, why did you think Trey Young would fit with this team? And I'd be like, well, that's interesting. Anyway. And then they were like, seven in a row, 11 in a row? 15 out of 16? Like, what's happening? I, it was an ultimate, what's happening for me?

• 1:30:15Bill Simmons?

  Okay. I think you've convinced me. I'll switch mine over because we had all given up on the Hawks and left them for dead. And it just seemed like they'll make some giant weird trade this summer and that'll be it. What's weird is, does all this happen if they don't trade Porzingis? Because Caminga's already kind of on the outside looking in for them. I wonder if like, they had kept Porzingis, if that would have been a fun wild card for them. A couple more awards. The ML Carr trying to trade for a retired Michael Jordan award for goofiest but possibly real upcoming offseason subplot. This is a thing that happened. He did call the Bulls and try to trade for a retired Michael Jordan and they hung up on him. And then he leaked to people that he tried to trade for Michael Jordan. So technically it was true.

• 1:31:00Speaker 01

  I'm actually surprised there are not more awards named for ML Carr, but that's a different story.

• 1:31:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Uh, nominees. This is for this guessing this summer. The Warriors trying to get Kawhi? We found out before the trade deadline, they actually did try to get Kawhi. When they traded, uh, James Harden, the Warriors came in and tried to make a bid, didn't get him. LeBron becoming the Warriors player coach. Paolo for Giannis. The Celtics trade Jalen Brown.

• 1:31:30Bill Simmons?

  Or OKC says fuck it and trades J-Dub.

• 1:31:38Bill Simmons?

  All those are ridiculous, but what's the one that make, oh, give me if you have any other nominees?

• 1:31:43Speaker 01

  No, all of these broke my brain. Although I mean, Palo for Yanis is not to me goofy at all on a number of levels. It's something I pitched in the fall before I forgot that Palo was poison pill. Celtics trading Jalen felt more plausible last offseason than now, but crazy things happened. His contract is what it is.

• 1:32:06Bill Simmons?

  I don't see now that they've reset the tax, I don't see any scenario where it happens. And I don't, Chisholm is like, he goes to every game. He loves the team. Everybody loves the Jay. I don't, I don't see a scenario.

• 1:32:17Speaker 01

  Is it, I mean, I went with the Warriors trying to get Kawhi, which doesn't feel goofy since it, it happened, but I, I do, I mean, God only knows what could happen this summer, what's going to happen with Kawhi, what's going to happen with his contract, etc. But I went with that one because LeBron's not going to become player coach, right? Like he could go to the Warriors, but that one is not going to be on the table.

• 1:32:36Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. Would they bend the rule? If, if they, if the Warriors and LeBron went to Adam and were like, can you bend this rule on the player coach?

• 1:32:46Speaker 01

  It's certainly good for business. Does LeBron want to be a coach?

• 1:32:50Bill Simmons?

  No, no, I just, it's stupid.

• 1:32:57Bill Simmons?

  I'm going to say, my answer is OKC trading JDub.

• 1:33:02Speaker 01

  I left that one sitting there for you. I'd rather you take it.

• 1:33:06Bill Simmons?

  I just find it hard to believe they're going to be paying three max guys and Kason Wallace and they're going to have more stuff coming. And I just think Presti

• 1:33:19Bill Simmons?

  will proactively do stuff. And I don't think they're going to do this. Just for the record, don't aggregate me be like Simmons thinks, okay, I'm, we're talking goofiest, but possibly real. This one had like a shred of, well, what happens if OKC loses in the conference finals? Do they just run it back? Do they get creative? They have all these picks. Do they try to up, upgrade Jalen Williams, who is already a top 25 guy?

• 1:33:41Speaker 01

  You're talking about last year.

• 1:33:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I'm talking about this year, like if they lost.

• 1:33:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was going to say what complicates all this is if they win the championship.

• 1:33:50Bill Simmons?

  The Zaza Pachulia Award. Pachulia?

• 1:33:54Speaker 01

  Pachulia.

• 1:33:56Bill Simmons?

  The Zaza Pachulia Award for the one NBA rule that absolutely needs to be changed. 65 games, tanking, half court shots don't count as field goal attempts. A passion point of yours and league pass showing people dancing during every timeout. Anything else you would add here?

• 1:34:11Speaker 01

  Uh, you should get to pick your opponent as the number one seed and um, there needs to be a time limit on reviews.

• 1:34:21Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that's really good. I'm going with that one.

• 1:34:24Speaker 01

  That's my pick too.

• 1:34:24Bill Simmons?

  Forty five second reviews, forty five seconds.

• 1:34:28Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 1:34:28Bill Simmons?

  Every time you say you went off the menu, Joe has his stomach growls and he thinks of food. Just so you know. Uh, that's right. It should be forty five seconds.

• 1:34:37Speaker 01

  For the record, I first of all, I do have to admit defeat on the um, half court shots rule. It worked. Players take half court shots. I I mean, I still think it's I like the idea of having having the field goal percentage cowards have to be publicly cowardly by not shooting. I enjoyed that, but I enjoy the heaves more.

• 1:34:58Bill Simmons?

  Me as well. So forty five seconds. I don't even think the refs go over the monitor. I think they decide in Secaucus and they just tell the ref and it's announced. I don't even need the refs like, but I'm gonna put my headphone.

• 1:35:14Bill Simmons?

  I'm out.

• 1:35:14Speaker 01

  And the refs wearing the headsets has been this weird. They are wearing them now. They're not like on again, off again thing like what's going on with that? Why did that, you know?

• 1:35:25Speaker 01

  Just did they did these games? The games are too long still and a close game at the end. If there's three reviews, you're just gonna it's gonna take too long.

• 1:35:33Bill Simmons?

  All right, well, we'll go through a couple of quick ones here. The 2010 Baron Davis Award for best individual mail in of the season. Sorry, Baron, I went to those games unfortunately. Ja Morant, Zion, Anthony Davis, Zach Levine or Mark Cuban? I'm going. I'm going out of the box here and giving it to Mark Cuban.

• 1:35:51Bill Simmons?

  How is this guy still giving interviews and, and taking? First of all, nobody asked you to sell the team. You sold the team after you hired Nico Harrison. Right? The GM who then made the Luka trade, who now you've been bad mouthed. You hired him, you picked the ownership group to sell the team to. You lost your say in the whole process.

• 1:36:13Speaker 01

  You had the famous line of like, nothing's changing except my wallet, or whatever he said.

• 1:36:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you're a rich guy who I don't, didn't seem like you need the money, or maybe you did of selling the team. You sold too early. You sold before the value of all the franchises went way up. You handled every piece of this wrong. Not to mention, you said you were going to be involved and you weren't. And now it just feels like for the entire season, he's been trying to throw his scent off his culpability in the Luka trade, which never would have happened if he still owned the team. Like, I don't think he should give interviews about it anymore, would be my take.

• 1:36:49Speaker 01

  And so that fits the mail-in criteria for you?

• 1:36:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, because he mailed it in by selling the team. It's your fault they traded Luka. You're Dr. Oppenheimer in this.

• 1:37:00Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:37:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Is that a hot take? Don't sell the team. You don't want them to trade Luka Doncic. Keep the team yourself.

• 1:37:08Speaker 01

  Invoking the father of the nuclear bomb is certainly a date.

• 1:37:12Bill Simmons?

  This was the NBA trade nuclear bomb.

• 1:37:15Speaker 01

  I went much, I went with Ja Morant because he literally stopped trying during multiple games to the point that Blake Griffin, and I think his first like welcome to broadcasting moment, called him out at halftime of a game and then he's just disappeared. But I, but you, you make quite a case for Mark Cuban.

• 1:37:32Bill Simmons?

  Just, how about this? Point the finger this way.

• 1:37:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, there is a lot of blame being thrown around retrospectively.

• 1:37:42Bill Simmons?

  It would be like if Howard Schultz, when they, when he sold the Sonics to the Oklahoma City Thunder businessman group, who were dying to bring a team to the Thunder. And then they moved the team to Oklahoma City. He's like, oh my God, what, I can't believe that happened. It's like, you couldn't? You sold it to a bunch of guys from OKC. All right, the Shane Battier Award for Sloan Conference Stat Nerd Darling du jour is it's Diabate, right? Did anyone have more fun with the what the fuck is going on here? Stats for the advanced metrics than all Diabate lineups and all the weird shit with him? Or would you go with somebody else than the Moose?

• 1:38:19Speaker 01

  I'm happy, I'm happy to give it to Moose. A couple of other names that came up for me were Dean Wade, because the Cavs are just obsessed with, well, when Dean Wade's healthy, look out. Dyson Daniels, Clint Capella, Derrick Jones Jr., but I'm happy to give it to Moose.

• 1:38:36Bill Simmons?

  Hugo, Hugo having the like plus 17 net rating for most of the season was pretty crazy, too. The Vitaly Potapenko Award for worst deadline trade for the kids out there, 1999 strike season, 50 games, Celtics are a bottom 10 team. Rick Pitino, who was just a serial killer when he was running the team and just, just leaving bodies left and right, decided to trade an unprotected first round pick for Vitaly Potapenko, who was a backup center masquerading as a starter. And that pick turned out to be the ninth pick in the draft, which would have been either Andre Miller or Sean Marion if they had it, and they did not have it. Worst trade, Kobe White for nothing, Porzingis for Kaminga and Heald, or Simons for Vucevic,

• 1:39:21Bill Simmons?

  or another nominee that I don't have?

• 1:39:25Speaker 01

  Jared McCain? Too soon to say, too soon to say, and they got real draft equity for him.

• 1:39:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I wouldn't put that as the number one, but it could be a nominee.

• 1:39:35Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm just going, I'm going, I'm zooming out and just going, the entire Chicago Bulls organization for everything gets this award. I mean, I don't follow hockey and football closely enough to say this. Is there a more, I ask you then, is there a more depressing franchise in American professional sports right now than the Chicago Bulls?

• 1:39:58Bill Simmons?

  I think that, yeah, to flip that around, most depressed fan base, it's down to Chicago and Sacramento, I think, in the finals.

• 1:40:06Speaker 01

  Even Sacramento is going to enter the lottery in pole position or fourth position.

• 1:40:11Bill Simmons?

  At least they have that.

• 1:40:12Speaker 01

  The Bulls are ninth in the lottery standings, hoping for a Derrick Rose redux with Matas Bozellis. And a whole bunch of like, but even Giddy's like last two months have been now, I guess you just throw them all the way have been just like, okay.

• 1:40:29Bill Simmons?

  What was the Kobe White trade and why did they then trade Vucevic to take on six more million dollars of Simons? What was that?

• 1:40:37Speaker 01

  I don't know. And it's tempting to say, well, they got Colin Sexton, who's been pretty good on an expiring contract and he'll be on another team next year when he walks for nothing. And also, I mean, wherever you want to classify this.

• 1:40:50Bill Simmons?

  Why didn't they keep Dang in the three-way trade they did? Why did they reroute him somewhere else? They didn't need a 22-year-old, young, energetic forward?

• 1:40:58Speaker 01

  And their two big second draft swings were Rob Dillingham and Jaden Ivey. And one of those has gone completely sideways. And it's just, I just.

• 1:41:08Bill Simmons?

  Wow. It sounds like you're, we should just move right next to the.

• 1:41:12Speaker 01

  Let's do it.

• 1:41:12Bill Simmons?

  The David Kahn Award for worst GM performance. Nico Harrison not eligible.

• 1:41:18Bill Simmons?

  I had him in there, but then the more I looked at it, not eligible. Kings GM? I don't even know who is it?

• 1:41:26Speaker 01

  It's Scott Perry.

• 1:41:27Bill Simmons?

  Scott Perry? But it's not. It's really, it's really Vivek and whoever his kids are, the GM. Like, does, somebody can announce themselves at like a dinner. It's like, I'm the GM of the Kings. But it's not, they're not actually the GM, right? They're not really making these moves.

• 1:41:42Speaker 01

  That'd be great if I went, if I started going to parties and just introducing myself as the GM of the Kings. I just want you guys, I just want you guys to know. I've been quiet about it, but.

• 1:41:54Bill Simmons?

  But I'm running the Kings. Kings GM, Joe Dumars on New Orleans, John Horace on, on the Bucks, or our winner, Arturis on the Bulls. So I don't think we'll have this job a week from now, would be my guess.

• 1:42:06Speaker 01

  I just don't.

• 1:42:06Bill Simmons?

  It was really abysmal for five years there.

• 1:42:09Speaker 01

  And it's, it's a, yeah, it's, it's a.

• 1:42:13Speaker 01

  It's in totality, multiple year award in this case.

• 1:42:20Speaker 02

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• 1:43:20Bill Simmons?

  The LeBradford Smith versus MJ award for saddest NBA feud. Where we have LeBron versus Memphis, Chris Paul versus Clippers, Stephen A versus the Pelicans. Or Mark Cuban versus Nico and the Dumonts, I think is my winner again, for all the reasons I said earlier.

• 1:43:33Speaker 01

  That's my winner as well out of this group of nominees because no one is rooting for anybody in the feud. Everyone is rooting against all parties involved in the feud. And everyone is rooting for Luka Doncic to have success for another franchise. Everyone in Dallas is now somehow a Lakers fan after all of this. And so that was my saddest feud too.

• 1:43:55Bill Simmons?

  We're running late on time, so we're going to cut the T-Moran Award. For most polarizing family member. We'll just give it to Rick Brunson right now.

• 1:44:05Speaker 01

  Consulted on that, that was a committee of one.

• 1:44:09Bill Simmons?

  The 1988 Reggie Lewis. I don't know, I just like this guy award for a young guy who's not playing much yet. But you've already bought significant stock.

• 1:44:20Bill Simmons?

  Really important category here.

• 1:44:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:44:22Bill Simmons?

  Our nominees, Ron Harper Jr., Carter Bryant, Hugo, Will Riley.

• 1:44:28Speaker 01

  He's like Madonna. He just says one name.

• 1:44:30Bill Simmons?

  Hugo. And I can't even say it right half the time. Will Riley, a Joe House absolute favorite, favorite.

• 1:44:37Speaker 01

  He's on my all rookie team, you know?

• 1:44:40Bill Simmons?

  He should be. Kajon George,

• 1:44:44Bill Simmons?

  Malachi Smith.

• 1:44:47Bill Simmons?

  Did I say that right?

• 1:44:49Speaker 01

  Malachi.

• 1:44:49Bill Simmons?

  Malachi Smith.

• 1:44:52Bill Simmons?

  Diawara of the Knicks.

• 1:44:55Bill Simmons?

  And my personal pick, Niederhauser. I'm not even gonna try to say his first name on the Clippers. I love Niederhauser. I was bummed out when he got hurt. And I think they would easily be the eight seed if he hadn't gotten hurt. But the other ones, the stock's a little higher. Niederhauser, I still feel like is like dirt, dirt cheap. If I was getting a little pricier, I'd be looking at Hugo, Carter Bryant, are two that I would invest in, but I think those are already a little jacked up. Did you have any other nominees before you give us your winner?

• 1:45:24Speaker 01

  Carter Bryant is definitely, they're not, they're not taking on more buyers at this point. People are very high on him.

• 1:45:30Bill Simmons?

  They've shut the IPO and, and that's it.

• 1:45:33Speaker 01

  I went, again off menu, sorry, Joe House, I went Rasheer Fleming in Phoenix.

• 1:45:38Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I like him. He should have been not. Why wasn't he nominated?

• 1:45:41Speaker 01

  I can't answer those kind of questions.

• 1:45:43Bill Simmons?

  I gotta talk to myself. Yeah, that was the guy, all the Celtic, well, the smart Celtic fans were hoping, the tea leaves were, were showing that the Celtics might take him. And then the Suns jumped them.

• 1:45:58Speaker 01

  They traded up for that pick, I think.

• 1:45:59Bill Simmons?

  Or traded up, something happened.

• 1:46:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:02Bill Simmons?

  We got Hugo. Carol Dawson, award for most unabashed tank job. Carol Dawson, the guy who invented tanking with the rockets in the Samson Alajwan things. So we got Utah, Washington, Brooklyn, Indiana, Sacramento, Memphis. I'm happy giving it to all six.

• 1:46:17Speaker 01

  It's.

• 1:46:17Bill Simmons?

  I don't really wanna separate anybody.

• 1:46:20Speaker 01

  It's really, it's a really hard one. It's a hard field.

• 1:46:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we're not picking a winner for that.

• 1:46:25Speaker 01

  I would pick a winner.

• 1:46:27Bill Simmons?

  Go ahead.

• 1:46:28Speaker 01

  I would congratulate the Washington Wizards and I would pick them because they traded for not one, but two good and presumably playable NBA players. Pretended that they might actually play them, actually played Trey Young for a hot second, kept pretending that they might play Anthony Davis and then just issued one medical update after another about everyone's ramping up or ramping down or ramping in various directions and basically played neither of them and then stopped playing other people too. So I mean, like the, the

• 1:46:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you're right. They took out $95 million for two guys to not play them.

• 1:47:04Speaker 01

  And like, are they gonna extend them? What's gonna happen now? It's just, it's a bizarre one. So I, in a, in a field, it's like really 1994 best picture, but it's, it's, I give it to the Wizards.

• 1:47:15Bill Simmons?

  I mean, you gotta look at Brooklyn too. Just playing all of these young guys they have together who don't even make sense on a basketball court together. Just throwing them out there, making sure Porter Jr. doesn't play too much, all the stuff they're doing, but I

• 1:47:30Speaker 01

  It's loaded. It's loaded.

• 1:47:31Bill Simmons?

  If, if we have to pick one, your Washington case was good. This is, uh, it's a slightly mean spirited award and I don't really care. The Dwight Howard

• 1:47:39Speaker 01

  It's mean.

• 1:47:40Bill Simmons?

  Sorry, dude, I can't help it. I just don't really like watching them play basketball that much award. Uh, Palo, James Harden, Jalen Green, Westbrook, Zach Levine, Rudy Gobert, Trey Young. I'm not saying it's a bad brand of basketball. I'm just saying for me personally, just for me, that it's not really resonating.

• 1:48:01Speaker 01

  It's not really resonating.

• 1:48:04Bill Simmons?

  Hasn't really, hasn't really resonated with me as a fan. Uh, I don't know if you have any other nominees.

• 1:48:11Speaker 01

  This is, I don't, again, we're not happy about saying these things.

• 1:48:15Bill Simmons?

  No, we're just trying to be honest.

• 1:48:18Speaker 01

  Karl-Anthony Towns?

• 1:48:19Bill Simmons?

  Sure, let's add him.

• 1:48:22Bill Simmons?

  Okay, is that your winner?

• 1:48:24Speaker 01

  I flirted with a couple others, but, uh, my winner of this group would probably be Zach Levine.

• 1:48:34Bill Simmons?

  Okay, I have him as well.

• 1:48:38Bill Simmons?

  Opted into his last year of his deal at 49 million. I don't know if you saw that. Well, here's one of the marquee awards, the Ron Artest Award, best bet to inadvertently start the next Artest melee. Three of the people on this almost did start the next Artest melee a couple of months ago. Isaiah Stewart, The Moose, Ron Holland, Goga Petasi, Jose Alvarado, Donovan Klingon, who I don't think gets nearly enough credit for how feisty he is. I think he's going to be involved in a really big fight at some point. Jokic, gotta include him. Jalen Williams, not J Dub, J Will, Lou Dort,

• 1:49:18Bill Simmons?

  and the Champagny brothers, both of them. They're on separate teams. They're both in. They're both ready to go. You can see it. Who wins this for you? This is basically the who is the guy you don't want to fuck with the most in the league award?

• 1:49:32Speaker 01

  I mean, I don't know if it's that, but I, I know it's the award for the guy who most wants to fuck with you award. And, um, I mean, there's, this is becoming a pretty easy decision. It's Isaiah Stewart, who, when he begins running across the entire court with fire in his eyes, it's, it's over. Like it's, you're too late. You're too late. It's now a melee. And this is the second time he's traversed the entirety of an NBA court

• 1:49:59Bill Simmons?

  I love.

• 1:49:59Speaker 01

  To get himself a piece of something.

• 1:50:03Bill Simmons?

  The Novax Kyrie Irving Award, best job of maintaining good stats by not playing regularly? We're just giving this to Joel Embiid. Well, listen, it's, if you're playing once a week or every once in a while, your stats are going to be really good. So congratulations, Joel.

• 1:50:16Speaker 01

  Agreed. I had him too.

• 1:50:19Bill Simmons?

  The white chocolate was a problem award.

• 1:50:21Speaker 01

  It was a problem.

• 1:50:23Bill Simmons?

  2026 guy whose season was so much better in 47 second Twitter highlights. Nominees, Ace Bailey, Kashaun George, Berengue. How do you say his name?

• 1:50:35Speaker 01

  How did he get on this list?

• 1:50:37Bill Simmons?

  Cause if you cut 47 seconds of alley oops and blocks from him, you would think he's like

• 1:50:43Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 1:50:43Bill Simmons?

  The next Wemby. Uh, Robert Williams, Time Lord, Dang, and Nolan Traore, who's my pick.

• 1:50:54Bill Simmons?

  I have him. I think there could, I think you could cut a really nice three-minute super mix of Traore highlights and you would be convinced he's like a future All-NBA guy.

• 1:51:03Speaker 01

  So Ace Bailey and Usman Jang would have the most like basketball-y versions, like they'd have turnaround jumpers and post-up moves. For me, I get, can I go off-menu again?

• 1:51:12Bill Simmons?

  Please. Joe House got hungry again.

• 1:51:14Speaker 01

  I went Danny Wolf, because if you supercut like crazy Danny Wolf no-look passes and then some threes and some like overhead no-look pass, you would be like, wow, this guy's like Magic Johnson out here at point, like just running, running things. So I went with Danny Wolf.

• 1:51:30Bill Simmons?

  Wow. You did the triple crown there. You made Joe House hungry. You delighted Peter Schreger, because this is his favorite net, and you delighted Tommy Alter as well. Triple crown. Three for three.

• 1:51:40Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:51:41Bill Simmons?

  All right, three awards left. These are the big ones.

• 1:51:46Bill Simmons?

  The Travolta and Pope Fiction Award for Comeback of the Year.

• 1:51:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:51:53Bill Simmons?

  Jason Tatum, obviously. Lamela Ball, Michael Porter Jr., Brandon Ingram, and whoever else you want to nominate.

• 1:52:00Speaker 01

  I would nominate Siddiq Bay, Nikola Topic.

• 1:52:05Bill Simmons?

  Good one.

• 1:52:05Speaker 01

  Nikola Topic.

• 1:52:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:07Speaker 01

  The entire Atlanta Hawks franchise for the mid-season comeback. But I would give the award, again, sappy and serious, I would give the award to Jason Tatum.

• 1:52:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, this is, this is one of those where it's like the ESPYS, where he's in the front row with his family and you know he's getting nominated. It's like, oh, Tatum's winning that one. We don't even talk about that. So this is one I really wanted to give out, the 2026 LVP for Least Valuable Player. Least Valuable Player isn't the worst player, but it's least valuable. It's somebody that is working against your team at all times. I don't think there's a winner for this this year. I think some years you have it, some years you don't. When you have 10 teams not trying.

• 1:52:53Bill Simmons?

  I just feel like the LVP becomes a lot harder. In a way, it could almost be given to the team, to the guy that his team's trying to tank. But he's been too, too good at messing up the tank. Would almost be the LVP in this situation. You're messing up our draft pick. That makes you the least valuable. So I don't know. If you feel like we should give this out, I'm fine with it. We could skip it.

• 1:53:17Speaker 01

  You could go the other way and it could be a team that was at various points, including at the beginning of the season, trying to win. And investigated a crap ton of resources to get you onto their team. And enjoyed arguably the worst season of your entire career.

• 1:53:35Bill Simmons?

  Paul George?

• 1:53:36Speaker 01

  That's not who I was thinking of, but is perfectly fits that.

• 1:53:41Bill Simmons?

  Who were you thinking of?

• 1:53:43Speaker 01

  I was saying, and you didn't prep me for this. So this was not on my list.

• 1:53:46Bill Simmons?

  I went off the menu for house.

• 1:53:48Speaker 01

  I was thinking of Myles Turner, who just, can you remember one thing that Myles Turner did this year? Like one?

• 1:53:57Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 1:53:57Speaker 01

  And he's shot 38, he's shooting 38% on threes. He just, he's missed a lot of games now. They're tanking now, obviously. But just given the wave and stretch, sign for 25 million a year. Perfect fit with Yanis, blah, blah, blah. It just feels like I just never even noticed him on the court the entire season.

• 1:54:21Bill Simmons?

  I mean, this is why you're one of the greats. I went from thinking we shouldn't have this award to thinking you laid out the perfect, and Paul George would have been another one, right? But Paul George actually got them under the tax by getting suspended. So in a weird way, he was viable. Myles Turner, when you throw in the stretch. And what they thought it might do for their seat, basically like this hail Mary to save their next two years and it just didn't. And they probably, as we've talked about, overpaid him a little because centers. Unless I have an all NBA center, I don't want to pay 25 million a year for a center. I think that's a good pick. Not entirely his fault. He did choose to leave Indiana.

• 1:55:00Speaker 01

  Off the top, it's just off the top. So I'm sure we could think of other, you know, candidates.

• 1:55:07Bill Simmons?

  Final award, the 2026 League Pass MVP.

• 1:55:13Bill Simmons?

  This is as coveted as the real MVP. I don't know. A lot of people don't talk about that.

• 1:55:16Speaker 01

  Everyone's been drinking now for a few hours. They're getting punchy. They're ready to go to the after parties, but now they gotta pay attention. They gotta sit and pay attention.

• 1:55:24Bill Simmons?

  This is so much different than the real MVP. This is, you're going back to the legacy of like, Michael, we didn't even have League Pass in 1987, but oh my God, Michael Jordan. This is Kobe in 2006. Like, is he gonna score 80 tonight?

• 1:55:40Speaker 01

  It should really be named for Blake Griffin, I think. Blake Griffin made League Pass. Just a thought.

• 1:55:47Bill Simmons?

  Interesting. We, he already has an award named after him.

• 1:55:50Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:55:51Bill Simmons?

  He has the Unexpected Delight Award. So the difference between this and just being the best player in the league is this is just, you're flicking around and you just keep gravitating toward a team, a player, and it's just somebody you know is gonna deliver the goods. It's like your best Postmates order. 7:30, I need to, and you just go, it's your go-to. So I'm hungry, where am I going? The nominees are Wemby, Joker, SGA.

• 1:56:19Bill Simmons?

  I only have three people here.

• 1:56:24Bill Simmons?

  Cause to me, it's either Wemby or Joker. I don't, are there any other nominees for you? I would have the Hornets as a team, but I, teams can't win this. It has to be a person.

• 1:56:32Speaker 01

  I mean, certainly the last month and a half, Luca has gotten into this conversation, though.

• 1:56:36Bill Simmons?

  I know, but it's the whole season. And if I'm gonna vote for him for the season, I also have to deal with like Luca from that one month when he just seemed completely miserable and was just mad at every ref for two and a half straight hours. I did not, I did not seek that out on League Pass.

• 1:56:55Speaker 01

  I thought, no, I know, I have no other nominees. I mean, if you're just talking purely, who do I have to watch?

• 1:57:01Bill Simmons?

  This is Wemby versus Joker. Yeah. This is Wemby versus Joker.

• 1:57:06Speaker 01

  You want to go first or me?

• 1:57:08Bill Simmons?

  No, you go.

• 1:57:10Speaker 01

  I never, I thought Joker would win this award 10 times in a row, 15 times in a row.

• 1:57:17Speaker 01

  I never thought anybody would be more must-watch appointment television for me. And Victor Wembanyama in his third year wins this award for me. You know, I watch every team as equally as I can. You end up watching the best teams more because when they play each other, it's must-watch. And then by the end of the season, none of these teams, the tankers are not trying to win. And, you know, so I can't watch every Spurs game because it would be derelict of duty to the other 29 teams in the league. I feel bad when I miss a Spurs game. I feel bad when I have to read about it. I feel bad when I have to watch the highlights of it. I feel like I've missed something magical. And if he does something magical, then I'll go back and watch that game.

• 1:57:57Speaker 01

  It'll be an extra game, but the paying of FOMO that I get has exceeded the Jokic FOMO. So it's Victor Wembanyama.

• 1:58:09Bill Simmons?

  That was my answer as well. If you're going totality of the season, Joker wins for me because I love Denver. It's just like the most reliable order you can make on Postmates or Uber Eats or wherever you're getting your food. What Wemby was doing the last six weeks, I was going out of my way to watch the Spurs, which has not happened. I don't think, as much as I, and you and I are probably two of the biggest Jokic fans on the planet. Just for, just watching him play basketball.

• 1:58:42Bill Simmons?

  He's so steady and you know, he's there. It's like, you're not going to go, oh my God, I have to watch Joker. Like when Wemby played the Warriors last week and it was clear he was in his, I'm going to make my MVP case. I was like, I'm just not missing that game. I don't, there's no scenario where I wasn't watching it. There was no scenario where I wasn't watching the, the yesterday game against the Nuggets. And he's just hit that point. It's a pretty rare point to get to. We've had it a few times since I, since we've known each other.

• 1:59:10Bill Simmons?

  But I don't think like this, where it's like every game you might see five things you've never seen on a basketball court before.

• 1:59:17Speaker 01

  And it's it's both ends of the floor, obviously, not that he's good on both ends of the floor. We know that it's that he's unprecedented on both ends of the floor. It's the Spurs figuring out the lob stuff in more creative ways as it goes on where they're just throwing it to him and he's getting it.

• 1:59:33Bill Simmons?

  And where to put him on the floor to get the ball, like little stuff they're just getting better at.

• 1:59:37Speaker 01

  And even you mentioned, you know, for the whole season, it's Jokic because from start to finish, this guy's going to lead the league in rebounds and assists. And he's one of the maybe the most efficient high volume scorer in the league and the magic of his passes and all that. Even Wemby like learning to reach this level, the curiosity factor was just off the charts. Like, I just wanted to see every part of even the mistakes and the the things he was trying that didn't work. And I wanted to see my curiosity was just off the charts.

• 2:00:05Bill Simmons?

  He it's the last rule of basketball, like your eyes just gravitate to where he is on the TV. When you go to see him in person, you just find yourself just watching him to just even though the ball's over there, you're just seeing where he sets up. He did a thing yesterday, I think it was in the second quarter, Valančiūnas tried to post him up. Did you see that play?

• 2:00:26Speaker 01

  The one where you just took the ball at its apex, that one?

• 2:00:29Bill Simmons?

  He did a jump hook and Wemby didn't jump and just blocked it. And Valančiūnas was like, and he just kind of whipped him to the ground. He got mad, but it was like, I've never seen anyone do that ever. Where it wasn't, he didn't just block it, he almost like blocked it with his elbow.

• 2:00:46Speaker 01

  He blocked it, he blocked a floater in that game. I don't remember who shot it, but he came from so far away that as he was going towards the ball, it was on the right side of like the foul line. As he was going toward it, I thought he's just trying to scare the guy at the end of the shot clock. He's like, he just doesn't actually think he can block that shot. And then he blocked it and I was just like, I don't even know. Well, what am I supposed to do now?

• 2:01:12Bill Simmons?

  Well, and as the legend grows with him, you could see the other players in the league like

• 2:01:17Bill Simmons?

  before it was like people at the last second realizing they should, he's there, I've got to change my plan here and there'd be like two seconds of discombobulation and then they would reset the play. Now they're recognizing it as it's happening and they're just giving up on even thinking about potentially trying to make the play. They'll dribble in the paint, they'll see him and it's like a fucking shark, like you're a swimmer in the ocean. Like I think that's a shark fin, I'm gonna go this way. They just completely bail on it. They don't even really, and then the guys that challenge him are just nuts. Like the guys that are like, I'm gonna take it right to him, I'm gonna bounce into his chest and double clutch and try to overpower him. And it's almost like a badge of honor that they try to do it. I've never seen anything like it.

• 2:01:59Speaker 01

  You know, you know who likes to play against him and plays that way is Shengun. Shengun, you can tell is like, this guy, I can, I can take this guy. Like I'm gonna try like that. I like, I like that about Shengun.

• 2:02:10Bill Simmons?

  And watching Joker try to solve him.

• 2:02:13Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:02:13Bill Simmons?

  And doing like, I'm now I'm gonna take him this way, I'm gonna put my shoulder into him and then I'm gonna bring my jump hook a little bit further back and then try to flip it a little higher and that should be okay. He was solving him like an MIT scientist, trying to figure out like some sort of DNA model for something. Wemby was the, was the clear winner this year. Jokic, I don't know what else he could do. He's leading the league in assists and rebounds. He's doing something that only Wilt Chamberlain has done where you add up his first place in two categories, he's fifth in points. So if you just do one plus one plus five, he's seven. And I think that's what it is, right? One plus one, he's seven. The only one that did that was Wilt in 1968.

• 2:02:59Bill Simmons?

  Second in assists, first in rebounds, fourth in points, seven. And I don't think anyone in the history of the league has done that for those three categories. Usually they're like one, two, 12. Two, three, 15. This is his season. That's why I, I think I have Joker second for MVP heading into this last week.

• 2:03:19Speaker 01

  Interesting, because you were definitely flirting with the Wemby MVP idea.

• 2:03:24Bill Simmons?

  I was. I, I think yesterday showed the limitations of the 29 minutes a game. And there's a durability with Jokic that I think should, um, that's what I'm staring at as I think of these three guys all against each other. Like, is it just easier to be 29 minutes a game and have that burden versus like what Jokic just went through? Where it's like, I might have to play 45 minutes today.

• 2:03:46Speaker 01

  Well, and it adds, it adds up to significantly fewer minutes if you just want to look at it in the most raw and maybe basic ways. It's like, I don't have it in front of me, three, 400 minute gap.

• 2:03:56Bill Simmons?

  All right, so your podcast is Tuesday morning. Thanks to Sam's, thanks to Sam's Club for helping us out with this live stream. Thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well on the Ringer side and everybody else over at the Ringer. Made up of words. I feel like it was an A+.

• 2:04:11Speaker 01

  I'm glad, I'm glad you feel that way.

• 2:04:13Bill Simmons?

  I feel like your brain broke like three times.

• 2:04:15Speaker 01

  We went off menu a lot, which is part of the fun of it.

• 2:04:17Bill Simmons?

  Right in votes. Yeah, it was great. Uh, thanks to everybody at Netflix. Thanks to The Ringer. And I will see you on the rewatchables tomorrow night for Eddie and the Cruisers and then back on the speed on Tuesday. Thanks, everybody.

• 2:04:32Bill Simmons?

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