Pod Insights Dumb Blonde Ask, Tell, Confess: He Stuck WHAT in the ATM?! About this episode The Coven is back and this episode goes COMPLETELY off the rails. Hailee opens up about her 72-pound weight loss journey and how much it’s changed her confidence, daily life, and mindset. The girls also get real about filters, photo editing, and the pressure social media puts on everybody.
They celebrate Bailee’s prom queen win and sweet relationship moments before diving into this week’s wild confessions… including a man asking for advice about his micro penis, a mortifying church accident, and two brothers who admit they SNORTED their dad’s ashes.
Nothing could’ve prepared us for this one.
Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@Dumbblondepod
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:01 Bunnie XO? Ask Tell Confetti.
0:26 Speaker 01 I know the song.
0:28 Bunnie XO? I don't know. Haley, let's talk about, wait, hold on. Everybody, welcome to another Ask Tell Confetti.
0:37 Bunnie XO? Whoa. Haley, let's talk about your weight loss, baby. Everybody in the comments is talking about your glow up and how good you look. You got all the dudes in the comments like Haley is hot.
0:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, those are probably the same one saying, what a pig. A few months ago.
0:54 Bunnie XO? No, we're proud of you. You've lost how much, how much weight?
0:58 Speaker 01 Seventy-two.
0:59 Bunnie XO? Damn. That's a lot, baby.
1:02 Speaker 02 Past me, so like you're.
1:04 Speaker 01 I plateaued though for like four months. I was like within the same for four months, so I'm finally over that.
1:12 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
1:12 Speaker 01 I feel like once I hit over that, that's when people kind of saw.
1:15 Bunnie XO? Yeah. What's the biggest change that you've felt losing seventy-two pounds?
1:22 Speaker 01 I can just do everything easier.
1:24 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
1:25 Speaker 01 Uh, not having to edit my body in photos.
1:28 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
1:29 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm. To be able to just like upload something from my camera roll with my full body in it is something I never thought I would do.
1:36 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
1:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:37 Bunnie XO? I never knew you edited your body.
1:39 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
1:40 Bunnie XO? I mean, I do, but I do and I get in trouble for it. People get mad at me for doing it.
1:47 Speaker 01 I mean, I'll still, I'll still a little, you know, smooth on the face and stuff, but like my body, no.
1:52 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
1:53 Speaker 01 I don't have to do that anymore.
1:53 Bunnie XO? I love that. I love that.
1:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:55 Bunnie XO? I think everybody fucking edits their photos and if you don't edit your photo, you use fucking filters.
2:00 Speaker 01 Stuff, yeah.
2:00 Bunnie XO? So, I mean. I feel bad for women who all they do is use filters because I'm like, you just don't realize how fucking beautiful you are. I was one of those people. You were one of those people. Like, we were all one of those people.
2:11 Speaker 02 I still throw a filter on once in a while, like.
2:13 Speaker 01 Sometimes I like a good filter. Snapchat has.
2:14 Speaker 02 But like, it's more like a smoothing. It's not so much like before, I used to literally change my entire face.
2:20 Bunnie XO? Dude, I look back, like, you know how TikTok has the flashbacks? I look like a fucking chipmunk. How did I think that that looked good to fucking thousands of people? Where I just, my entire face was not even my face.
2:33 Speaker 01 Shaking.
2:34 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
2:36 Bunnie XO? Completely different structure. My cheeks were up here, like, oh my god.
2:40 Speaker 01 I used to be baby Dixie on Instagram all the time. My eyebrows would be like this.
2:45 Bunnie XO? Same. I had that one too. I loved that one. Yeah, I know. I look back because I get the flashbacks all the time and I'm just like, golly, like, what was I doing? Now I literally am on there like fucking, just waking up out of bed, don't even care.
2:57 Speaker 02 Sometimes I feel like I have it off on TikTok and then I'll watch a video back and it's like, it's smoothing me with, I, I literally will turn everything off. The, the glow on the side.
3:07 Speaker 01 I swear there's a small filter just built into TikTok.
3:11 Speaker 02 I believe so. I believe that TikTok has a small filter built in.
3:14 Bunnie XO? Listen, I like the smoothing filter. Don't care. I'll use it. I fucking love that thing. But I mean, I'll take it off if I need to, but I don't.
3:20 Speaker 01 Sometimes it can be too much.
3:22 Bunnie XO? It's a smoothing filter. It's not like it changes your whole face.
3:25 Speaker 02 Exactly. Before I had a whole new face on.
3:27 Bunnie XO? Yeah, no, I literally, it was a mask. I put on a mask.
3:30 Speaker 02 Yes.
3:31 Bunnie XO? Every time I made a video and I thought it looked good and people were like, you look great. Like, no, I didn't. It was like an antique color too. Like, what the hell?
3:41 Speaker 01 That's like us looking back on like 2016 with like the dog filter. That was just normal.
3:45 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
3:47 Speaker 02 Agreed.
3:48 Bunnie XO? Hi, Hi May, did you ever use filters?
3:50 Speaker 03 Um, no.
3:52 Bunnie XO? Okay.
3:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:53 Speaker 02 How do we feel about guys using filters?
3:56 Speaker 03 Do they do that?
3:57 Bunnie XO? Fuck no.
3:57 Speaker 02 Yes.
3:58 Speaker 03 Really? You can tell?
3:59 Speaker 02 Oh, I can, if a guy uses a filter.
4:02 Bunnie XO? It's fucking gonna put, make their lips bigger, their eyebrows more arch.
4:05 Speaker 01 I feel like a lot of it, I see.
4:07 Bunnie XO? No.
4:08 Speaker 01 I've seen guys on TikTok use the bold glamour filter.
4:11 Bunnie XO? Shut the fu- are they, they're gay guys, obviously, right?
4:15 Speaker 01 No, they're straight. I mean.
4:16 Bunnie XO? No way.
4:17 Speaker 01 Maybe. Yeah.
4:21 Bunnie XO? All right. Well, to each their own. Don't cancel me for that, but I would just figure like a gay guy would, you would expect like Jeffree Star.
4:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, because it's glam. Like it's adding a little bit of makeup to you.
4:30 Speaker 01 No, I've seen guys full on use it, no makeup on, obviously. They're like, I've seen, I'm pretty sure it was a blue collar guy.
4:38 Bunnie XO? What the hell? He probably didn't know it was on.
4:40 Speaker 02 Hey, maybe they're just feeling themselves.
4:41 Speaker 01 It's on every video.
4:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, I feel like there's some dudes that just need that.
4:45 Speaker 03 Well, I think it's more happening more now. I think, I think it's called looks maxing. Is that what it's called?
4:49 Bunnie XO? Everything is maxing. Everything. I'm protein maxing right now.
4:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, we go back to six, seven.
4:55 Bunnie XO? Yeah, everything is maxing. I'm supplement maxing. I'm, we're fucking podcast maxing right now. Like, who came up with that? It's so weird.
5:05 Speaker 02 I don't like that one. I'm usually down with like newer stuff. Don't like that one.
5:08 Speaker 01 No.
5:09 Bunnie XO? No, dog maxing, you know, like.
5:11 Speaker 01 Chach maxing.
5:12 Bunnie XO? Yeah, the chach maxing. Is your birthday coming up, honey?
5:17 Speaker 02 We're literally at prom the other day.
5:21 Speaker 02 But he goes, it is like a very important month, guys. And Bailey's sitting there and she goes, it's Chach's birthday month. And Bailey was like, it's mine too.
5:33 Bunnie XO? They have a little rival because she swears I love Chachi more than her, but I don't. But it's, it's the funniest thing. But yeah, we got a little prom queen too.
5:41 Speaker 01 No, I'm so proud of her.
5:42 Bunnie XO? I'm so proud of her. We were, we were definitely holding our breath because we didn't know, you know? So we got the phone call and she, I think, I don't know, it was just really cool. You can tell that it like really boosted her spirits and her confidence. Like I, I even think she was like, whoa, I can't believe I fucking won. Like she was like so freaked out about it.
5:59 Speaker 02 She looks so pretty and green. Her and Mads look beautiful.
6:03 Speaker 04 Attention all new and existing members of the W D N C. I'm Melanie Sanders and this is the We Do Not Care Club Podcast. We got to midlife and realized we just simply do not care much anymore. Now we gotta help each other make sense of hot flashes, dry coochie, chin hair, trifling families, brain fog and bat wings. We are not alone and we will be heard. So come join the W D N C. Follow and listen to the We Do Not Care Club Podcast with Melanie Sanders wherever you get your podcasts.
6:33 Bunnie XO? She look good. She look good. Now we gotta get through graduation and we're done. We're done.
6:38 Speaker 02 What's that? What's it after that? Graduation and eighteen.
6:40 Speaker 01 Or twenty first.
6:41 Speaker 02 Twenty first.
6:42 Bunnie XO? Huh?
6:43 Speaker 02 Also on her twenty first birthday is going to be wild.
6:46 Bunnie XO? Oh, gosh. I'm hoping by then she'll have calmed down because she's already an old soul. The kid takes fucking naps. She came into the house the other day and her and Mads, I was like, what are you guys doing? And she's like, oh, going to take my nap. And I was like, dude, I always tell them, I don't fucking take naps. You're like old people, you know, and I make fun of them all the time. And I think the biggest controversy, and I will, I'll have Bailey on the podcast to talk about this, but was like her and her girlfriend. And it's like, they've been together for almost a year.
7:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:16 Bunnie XO? You know, and I've never seen our kid happier. So.
7:20 Speaker 01 So different.
7:21 Bunnie XO? Yeah, people are like, somebody said, somebody said to me, you guys call yourselves conservative Christians, but your daughter's a lesbian? And I'm like, first of all, we've never said we're conservative. Secondly, we, I will never shame, and my husband will never shame our kid for who she loves.
7:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:37 Bunnie XO? Love is fucking love.
7:39 Speaker 02 Yes.
7:39 Speaker 01 I love that he wore little rainbow shoes, too.
7:41 Bunnie XO? He did to show support.
7:43 Speaker 02 That's your support.
7:43 Bunnie XO? I know.
7:44 Speaker 02 I love it. Love that. Olivia did ask me the other day about, like, what is it for guys and guys and girls and girls? And then I was editing prom pictures and I said, this is Bailey's girlfriend. She goes, Bailey got a girlfriend? I said, yeah. And she goes, is that who that girl was at dinner? Yeah, she goes, alright. She's just like, I love that Olivia doesn't question it past that.
8:07 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I don't think you should.
8:08 Speaker 02 Love is love.
8:08 Bunnie XO? You should never teach your kids to hate.
8:10 Speaker 01 I was gonna say, it's taught.
8:12 Bunnie XO? It is. It's very taught. And that's all I'll say about it because it's not my situation to talk about, but I know Bailey's itching to come on the podcast. I'm just waiting till she turns eighteen so I don't have to hear everybody's, she has an underage child on her podcast. And when really that kid is fricking thirty five, eighteen going on thirty five. Like, you guys don't even realize how ba, how fricking, what an old soul Bailey is. Um, but yeah, I'm hoping by the time she's 21 that she has gotten shit out of her system.
8:39 Speaker 01 I feel like she had that era a few years ago.
8:43 Bunnie XO? She'll have it again. She'll have it again.
8:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, we wilding out through our teens so that when our twenties are here, like we just nose to the grindstone, like just go, you know, like it just, they was, that's how I was. I didn't go party in my twenties. I do more partying now in my thirties than I did in my twenties.
9:01 Bunnie XO? I partied in my teens, my twenties and my thirties. I partied all the way up to 37 and then I completely stopped.
9:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:08 Bunnie XO? And was like completely changed my life around.
9:10 Speaker 02 I didn't.
9:11 Speaker 01 I did.
9:13 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
9:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:15 Speaker 01 Also, look where I'm from. We had bonfires.
9:19 Bunnie XO? Pasture parties.
9:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:21 Bunnie XO? I went to a pasture party one time.
9:23 Speaker 01 People I didn't want to party with.
9:26 Speaker 02 Got it. Yeah.
9:28 Speaker 01 I went through college without drinking. I was in a sorority and went to frat parties and didn't drink.
9:34 Speaker 02 Why?
9:35 Speaker 01 I don't know. And I was like very proud of that though. Like I was like.
9:40 Speaker 02 Now look at you.
9:41 Speaker 01 No, now look at you.
9:43 Bunnie XO? Now we can't get you out of Goodnight Nashville.
9:44 Speaker 02 Yeah. Yeah. You guys remember when we were driving around Murphy's Bro the other day and we were by MTSU and I was like, I gotta tell you guys something on Ask Tell Confess about that bar.
9:53 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
9:53 Speaker 02 It was being torn down. I remembered what it was. Do you guys know some guy stuck his dick in the ATM in there and it went like national news?
10:02 Bunnie XO? Okay.
10:02 Speaker 02 It was on Jimmy Kimmel.
10:04 Bunnie XO? Was it hard?
10:06 Speaker 02 That was two different questions.
10:10 Bunnie XO? Left and right brain right there.
10:13 Speaker 02 Cause he was. I don't know the details of it. I just know that he was arrested for sticking his dick in the ATM.
10:18 Bunnie XO? Give it a go. We need details now. Don't come to the table with a freaking story like that and not have the freaking details.
10:24 Speaker 02 ATM, dick, Murphy's Bro.
10:27 Speaker 01 Small little slit. How is it going in there?
10:29 Bunnie XO? I, first of all, was it hard and was he fucking the machine? Like, why did this make news?
10:34 Speaker 02 It was like years. Do you remember this?
10:36 Speaker 03 No, but I know he has to be short because that thing's low. Like it's not.
10:40 Bunnie XO? Did it get stuck? Is that why he made headlines?
10:42 Speaker 01 Maybe it took like the skin.
10:44 Bunnie XO? Okay. He got circumcised by the freaking ATM machine?
10:47 Speaker 03 Ouch.
10:50 Speaker 01 Imagine being the next one to use it after.
10:53 Bunnie XO? Dude, how do you think I feel about opening doors? That's why I don't like touching buttons. I don't like using my debit card. I don't touch cash. Like you cannot trust what is on anything.
11:04 Speaker 02 Everything's just coming up because someone tried to steal an ATM in Murfreesboro the other day. Did you see that?
11:09 Speaker 03 I saw that.
11:09 Speaker 02 Someone strapped a truck to the ATM on the Chase Bank and tried to drive away with it. And so that's all of the, yeah. Oh, right here. Man attempted sex with ATM.
11:20 Speaker 02 Yep.
11:21 Speaker 01 When was this?
11:22 Bunnie XO? So he was hard.
11:23 Speaker 02 Twenty fourteen.
11:25 Bunnie XO? Damn.
11:26 Speaker 02 And a picnic table.
11:27 Bunnie XO? Oh.
11:29 Speaker 02 At a local bar, according to the rest.
11:31 Bunnie XO? Damn, dude was horny. He wanted splinters and cash.
11:36 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
11:36 Speaker 01 What the hell?
11:37 Speaker 02 That's so funny. Uh, yeah, he attempted. Oh, look at him. Hold on, I got his mug shot.
11:42 Speaker 01 I want to see him.
11:43 Bunnie XO? No.
11:43 Speaker 02 Lonnie.
11:44 Bunnie XO? Ronnie?
11:45 Speaker 02 Lonnie.
11:45 Bunnie XO? Oh, Lonnie.
11:47 Speaker 02 Charged with public intoxication.
11:49 Bunnie XO? Oh, you think?
11:50 Speaker 02 After witnesses said he exposed himself and attempted to have sex with an ATM at the Borough Bar and Grill in Murfreesboro.
11:56 Speaker 03 Wait, was he like a college kid or like an old man?
12:00 Speaker 02 Oh, no, no. Forty, forty-nine.
12:02 Speaker 03 Oh. Oh, wait, I think I know that. No, I'm just joking.
12:08 Bunnie XO? He might have been having a rough, a rough week.
12:11 Speaker 02 You know?
12:12 Bunnie XO? I need to know about the picnic table, though, like the splinters. What are we doing?
12:15 Speaker 01 I need to know which entry in the ATM.
12:18 Speaker 02 Mr. Hudson entered the bar and walked into, walked to the ATM. Once at the ATM, he pulled down his pants, underwear, and exposing his genitals, then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM. The suspect then walked around the bar wearing no pants while he hip-thrusted in the air. This is very, very funny.
12:35 Bunnie XO? My kind of guy.
12:36 Speaker 01 She just got so excited.
12:37 Bunnie XO? I wish I was there.
12:39 Speaker 02 They escorted him outside. Once outside, he again exposed himself and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.
12:45 Speaker 01 What a scene to witness though.
12:47 Bunnie XO? I mean, that dude was having a good time. That was just a good time gone too far.
12:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, good time gone too far.
12:53 Bunnie XO? Yeah, yeah.
12:54 Speaker 01 All right.
12:55 Bunnie XO? All right, who wants to kick this off? You guys, I got some good ones this week.
12:58 Speaker 01 I have some great ones too, and I didn't even ask.
13:00 Bunnie XO? Oh, I love it.
13:02 Speaker 02 Ask. My DMs are full with these. Go ahead, Haley.
13:06 Speaker 01 Okay, I got one.
13:07 Bunnie XO? Yeah, yeah. If you guys want to submit and make it on the show, go to any one of our Instagrams every Sunday and just submit Ask Tell Confess A T C before it starts and we'll answer.
13:18 Speaker 01 Okay, so, my dad passed away nine years ago and was cremated. He was in a pretty well-known motorcycle club and would party with his adult kids. Fast forward to two years ago, my brother and I were out drinking and blowing lines. When we went back to his house, we were drinking still and decided to mix a tiny bit of our dad's ashes in a line and snort it.
13:42 Speaker 02 No.
13:43 Speaker 01 We vowed never to tell anyone until now.
13:47 Speaker 02 You snorted your dad's ashes?
13:50 Bunnie XO? I think that's kind of cool.
13:54 Bunnie XO? I like it. Salute.
13:56 Speaker 02 I mean, I see both sides.
13:58 Bunnie XO? I do too. They wanted to be closer to their dad. I got some of Bill's ashes. I should sprinkle some on my rice. His death date's coming up.
14:07 Speaker 01 Put some in your magnesium. Just put some in my magnesium. Oh, God, I'll fucking go to the hospital because I'll freak out.
14:14 Bunnie XO? I mean, I, I, I can see like being, I, I've been really fucked up to where I've done some fucked up shit before. So I know that they were probably just on, on a sick one and just.
14:24 Speaker 01 I have a feeling it was probably the brother's idea.
14:27 Bunnie XO? I don't know. I think it's kind of, I think, listen, when you, you get two fucking fucked up people together, shit happens. So.
14:34 Speaker 02 Party. Someone's asking our advice. They said that they've been seeing a guy for about a month now and they're both lawyers.
14:41 Bunnie XO? Lawyers or voyeurs?
14:43 Speaker 02 Lawyers.
14:43 Bunnie XO? Okay.
14:44 Speaker 02 They're lawyers.
14:44 Bunnie XO? Big difference.
14:45 Speaker 02 And they work in two different legal fields at law firms over an hour away from each other. The last time I saw him, he did tell me he is considering bringing his clients to the law firm that I have been at for four years and he would become a partner. At that same firm. So he would essentially then become one of my bosses. Should I end things before that happens? I don't want to be the associate who's sleeping with the boss. But in all fairness, I was sleeping with him before he became my boss. I'm very afraid to mix business with pleasure.
15:13 Bunnie XO? I've been needing new glasses forever and it's just one of those things I keep putting off. So I finally went on Zinni to pick out a new pair. I'm going with these black rectangle glasses that are really similar to the ones I already wear because listen, I know what I like. They're classic, they go with everything and I'm excited to get them. Zinni has frames starting from under $30 and I love that you can use their virtual try on to see what different frames look like before you order. You just find a pair you love, enter your prescription, customize your lenses and they'll ship them right to your door. Zinni is truly the easiest way to shop for stylish prescription glasses without the headache backed by over 150,000 five-star reviews. Check new glasses off your list today with Zinni. Go to zinni.com/podcast
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17:07 Speaker 05 Wayfair, every style, every home. That's a good one.
17:11 Bunnie XO? Good one.
17:12 Speaker 02 Haley.
17:13 Speaker 03 Yeah. He's happy.
17:15 Bunnie XO? I think that if you end things with him before he gets there, it's gonna make things awkward between you guys. Or you're gonna have like sexual tension all the time and end up just banging in the fucking. Are you horny honey?
17:27 Speaker 02 No, I'm not.
17:28 Bunnie XO? Uh, and they'll end up banging in the office. But I also see her other point is like she doesn't, you know, but they were, you guys were dating before.
17:36 Speaker 02 I feel like it should just be said to the firm. Like ahead of time before that transition happens.
17:43 Speaker 01 Send an email.
17:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, send an email. Per my last email.
17:46 Bunnie XO? Are they not public, publicly dating? Is that what the problem is?
17:49 Speaker 02 It doesn't seem like it's, I mean, it's only been a little bit.
17:51 Speaker 01 Maybe be public.
17:53 Speaker 02 Yeah. Yeah, but then.
17:55 Bunnie XO? They might not hire him if, if they're dating. Some firms are like that, like they won't let.
18:00 Speaker 02 Can't mix business and pleasure.
18:02 Bunnie XO? Yeah, that's a tough one. I don't really know how to answer that.
18:05 Speaker 01 I don't know, but I love sexual tension.
18:07 Bunnie XO? I think if.
18:10 Bunnie XO? Listen, I always say follow your heart though. Like if you think this dude is the one and you guys like have a chance.
18:16 Speaker 02 I almost feel like it would be messier to end it too early.
18:19 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I do too.
18:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, and I didn't hear any other issues, like if he was like cheating or, but this seems to be the only issue is how you feel, how you think you're gonna feel when everyone else finds out. That doesn't seem like a.
18:29 Speaker 02 That is true. You're kind of playing off of an emotion of what could happen versus what is happening.
18:35 Bunnie XO? We call that future tripping.
18:36 Speaker 03 There you go.
18:37 Bunnie XO? You're future tripping. So, I mean, but.
18:40 Speaker 02 Future maxing.
18:41 Bunnie XO? Yeah, future maxing. Um, yeah, I think I say if I can just go for it and just be honest with people.
18:47 Speaker 02 Do it in the janitor.
18:48 Bunnie XO? Go from there. Alright guys, I've got some good ones this week.
18:55 Speaker 02 You might Ludeo. Yeah, that's.
18:58 Bunnie XO? Yeah, why are you so horny?
18:59 Speaker 02 I don't know.
19:01 Bunnie XO? You got your, you got your little shiver me timbers going on over there.
19:07 Speaker 02 Sexual
19:08 Speaker 01 It's probably all the European
19:09 Speaker 02 That's the lead up, okay, no.
19:10 Speaker 01 It's all the European rom coms I've watched.
19:12 Speaker 02 You watch all of like, you're the person that they specifically make short movies for?
19:17 Speaker 01 Yes.
19:18 Speaker 02 That are like these lead up, she bought the app to watch the end of it. Like, you know, the ads that go out?
19:23 Speaker 01 Joseph Purcell?
19:25 Bunnie XO? Yeah, you're like in your head about all that stuff.
19:27 Speaker 02 She loves the lead up.
19:29 Bunnie XO? I mean, look at the porn she watches.
19:30 Speaker 01 Okay.
19:31 Bunnie XO? Eighties fucking vintage porn.
19:33 Speaker 02 But then doesn't like the climax of it.
19:35 Bunnie XO? That's a storyline. She loves the storyline. She loves the tease. That's what it is.
19:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, because she'll be talking to a guy.
19:40 Bunnie XO? She's a romance novel reader. That's the type of person she is.
19:44 Speaker 01 Mm hmm. I think that's why it fails with guys, too.
19:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:48 Speaker 01 Because I'm searching for that and I don't ever get that.
19:51 Speaker 03 And they're not walking up to you like, hey, did you order this pizza?
19:54 Bunnie XO? Listen, hold out for that guy who does finally fulfill that.
19:58 Speaker 01 I am. I want to live in Europe, so I think he's over there.
20:02 Speaker 02 He was gonna leave us for Europe.
20:04 Bunnie XO? I started a fuck buddy situation ship after getting out of a bad relationship. My friends with benefit was a dreamy six, two bartender I worked with at the time. He was hot. He had confidence and a swagger I couldn't deny. He bragged at how he loved going down on women and promised when I got to experience that, it would change my world. That with the fact that he had a big dick. I was genuinely giddy when the time came to experience this alleged mind blowing experience. We're in my bed and he starts making his way down south. He's butt ass naked, fully bricked up, and he starts his magic. I'm laying there trying to get into it because it wasn't quite what I was expecting. And then it happened.
20:49 Bunnie XO? He farted. One long poof. And it just kept going like nothing happened and he just kept going like nothing happened. It smelled very bad and I didn't know what to do. I pushed myself up and said, I didn't think I could get into this, into the right mood. And he said, we should chill out for a bit. He was offended and then told me that maybe, just maybe I had a weird vagina. No, bro, maybe you should make an effort to hold it in when you've talked such a big game.
21:22 Speaker 03 Was he in like sniper position or?
21:25 Bunnie XO? I think he was crouching tiger.
21:27 Speaker 03 Crouching tiger, oh, yeah, that'll do it.
21:36 Bunnie XO? Dude, okay, first of all, ladies, if a man tells you he can eat pussy, he cannot.
21:48 Speaker 02 Nope.
21:48 Bunnie XO? Any dude that brags about eating the cat and being a fucking a pro at it does not, can't even find the knob. All right. They're liars. I've, trust me. They don't know what they're fucking talking about. Secondly, normally men who have big dicks and swagger and are super hot are just gonna be a fucking letdown.
22:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:14 Bunnie XO? Not one of them is gonna be a great story to write home about unless you just fuck him and leave and never talk to him again. Other than that, the majority of the time, they are a disappointment. Speaking from experience. So, I had one time.
22:31 Speaker 02 Oh, I'm sad.
22:33 Bunnie XO? Say it. Ready. I'm thirsty. One time, there was this guy, we used to call him Carlos Asada, because he was.
22:44 Speaker 02 Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone.
22:46 Bunnie XO? Happy Cinco de Mayo. So fitting. Alright, so we called him Carlos Asada because he was so hot. I'm talking like, oh my God, this dude was just unbelievably hot and just perfect body, in shape, beautiful face. And one night, I finally got to take him for a spin and we went to his house and I had been drinking tequila and all that stuff. Anyways, I go down on him and he smells so bad. So fucking bad to the point where I didn't even want to have sex with him. I just ended up sucking him off. I get in my car to go home and all I can smell is that smell of him. And I'm literally on the 215 with a fucking bag from
23:28 Bunnie XO? Smith's, a grocery bag, projectile vomiting as I'm driving down the freeway because he smelled so bad.
23:34 Speaker 02 Nada on the Asada.
23:38 Bunnie XO? Yes, not on the side of baby. I'm telling you.
23:49 Bunnie XO? No.
23:53 Bunnie XO? No, it was so bad, dude. God, I never looked at him the same and never fucking never didn't double dip.
24:03 Bunnie XO? It was just putrid. It was so, I don't know. You know how some guys come smells really bad?
24:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, it was.
24:11 Bunnie XO? It was that.
24:12 Speaker 02 She's having PTSD flashback.
24:15 Bunnie XO? It was that. I can't do it. If, guys, if you don't eat right and you're just eating fucking garbage every day, your ejaculation is going to smell so bad. Clean it up.
24:27 Speaker 02 I'm kind of gagging a little bit.
24:35 Bunnie XO? So anyways, honey, we're sorry that you experienced that. So, yeah.
24:39 Speaker 02 All right.
24:40 Bunnie XO? Yep.
24:40 Speaker 01 How the fuck do I follow?
24:42 Bunnie XO? I told you guys, I got some good ones this week.
24:45 Speaker 01 Geez, okay.
24:52 Speaker 01 I don't know if this was supposed to be an ostel confess.
24:55 Bunnie XO? Oh, shit.
24:57 Speaker 01 But I feel like I should read it.
24:58 Bunnie XO? Okay.
24:59 Speaker 01 And I Googled it to confirm.
25:02 Bunnie XO? Oh, gosh.
25:03 Speaker 02 Oh, my God. Is this the one? Okay, go ahead.
25:06 Bunnie XO? Hey, how do you know about it?
25:07 Speaker 01 She got the same one.
25:08 Speaker 02 I got the same one.
25:09 Bunnie XO? Oh, shit.
25:10 Speaker 01 I said, should I read this? All right. Hey, my name's Michael Phillips. I was recently in the news for having the world's smallest penis. You can Google it. Do you have any advice on what I can do in the bedroom to make up for my small penis?
25:27 Speaker 02 Give it a go.
25:27 Speaker 01 Michael Phillips, a 38 year old from North Carolina, has garnered media attention for having a diagnosed micropenis measuring point three eight inches.
25:36 Bunnie XO? He wrote me. He wrote me too.
25:39 Speaker 01 Oh.
25:39 Bunnie XO? Yeah, he wrote me too. I didn't believe him.
25:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, we, I literally, she Googles it.
25:45 Speaker 01 Three eight inches when erect.
25:47 Bunnie XO? Damn.
25:48 Speaker 02 Okay, wait.
25:49 Speaker 01 That's.
25:52 Speaker 02 Wait, point?
25:53 Speaker 01 Three, that's not even half an inch. So that's like this when erect.
25:57 Bunnie XO? Is he into small penis humiliation? Cause there's a fetish for that.
26:01 Speaker 02 It's a belly button.
26:02 Speaker 01 I don't know.
26:03 Speaker 02 Right?
26:03 Bunnie XO? That's a friggin toenail.
26:05 Speaker 01 A Tic Tac.
26:07 Bunnie XO? Listen, nobody wants to give their money away to ridiculous bank fees. It's your money. You shouldn't have to pay somebody just to keep it in an account. That's why I like what Chime is doing. There are no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, and no minimum balance fees. You can also get 5% cash back on your Chime card in a category you choose, like gas or groceries, while building credit through your everyday spending with no credit check. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. To me, banking should make managing your money easier, not nickel and dime you every chance it gets. So if you're tired of ridiculous fees, Chime is definitely worth checking out. Join the millions who are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking.
26:50 Bunnie XO? Head to chime.com/bunny. That's chime.com/b-u-n-n-i-e. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details. Today's episode is brought to you by Vinted. Y'all know how it goes. You open your closet and have a million things hanging up, but somehow still feel like you have nothing to wear. That's me. And let's be real, half that stuff hasn't been touched in forever. Instead of letting all those clothes just sit there taking up space, you might as well make a little money off of them. If you haven't used it yet, Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app
27:32 Bunnie XO? that makes it so simple to sell the quality clothes you no longer wear and discover unique pieces at great prices. And the best part, you don't have to make a whole project out of selling your clothes. Listing your clothes on Vinted is quick and simple. And once something sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you, so you don't have to worry about that part. Best of all, there are no seller fees, which means you actually keep every single dollar you earn from your sales. So instead of letting all those clothes collect dust, Vinted gives you a way to clear out some space, make a little extra money, and maybe even find something new to love. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep everything you earn.
28:16 Bunnie XO? What's the circumference on it? Is it like a little log or?
28:21 Bunnie XO? I didn't have any.
28:23 Speaker 01 There wasn't a video with it.
28:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, the fact that you didn't send a photo with it is very disappointing.
28:31 Speaker 01 Kind of curious.
28:32 Bunnie XO? Can we follow up? Can we get a photo?
28:34 Speaker 01 DM him back.
28:35 Bunnie XO? Yeah, hit him back and just say, hey, we're reading your thing on the pod, but we can, are you okay showing it? Like, I mean, we're not gonna show it on the podcast, but in order to like, help him and ask him if he's into small penis humiliation.
28:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, like what turns you on?
28:50 Bunnie XO? Yeah, does he want something like that?
28:52 Speaker 02 And I understand he's trying to like, I mean, they make toys.
28:54 Bunnie XO? Is this a genuine question? Like, how many women has he been with?
28:59 Speaker 01 What can I do to make up for it? I mean?
29:01 Speaker 02 Make up for it. There's toys.
29:03 Bunnie XO? Yeah, there's toys, fingers, mouth. You could learn how to really, yeah, like do that.
29:09 Speaker 02 Put in some work in learning the human body, like learn her.
29:13 Bunnie XO? There's so much, I think the older you get too, and this is gonna like age me, but it's like, there's so much more than just sex for a relationship.
29:22 Speaker 02 I can't agree more.
29:23 Bunnie XO? If you're a good human and you make a woman feel amazing and you make her laugh and you are just a sweetheart of a man, there's gonna be a woman out there who fucking has been looking for you her whole life and she's not gonna care how big your dick is.
29:39 Speaker 02 I could not agree more. It is all about like literally how someone makes you feel.
29:43 Bunnie XO? Yeah, and I mean, there, there's penis extensions now that you can get. You can get a penis extension and use it in the bedroom or you can get one surgically put on.
29:53 Speaker 02 Surgically?
29:54 Bunnie XO? Yeah, they have penis extensions now that you can have surgically.
29:56 Speaker 01 You can strap on.
29:58 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I mean, you could do that too, but it's not gonna feel good for him, for him, you know, so he wants something that's gonna feel good for him. Tati's very uncomfortable with this conversation.
30:06 Speaker 01 He's about to leave.
30:06 Bunnie XO? Come here, come here, honey.
30:08 Speaker 01 What do I say?
30:09 Speaker 02 Hey, we're on the podcast talking about your.
30:12 Speaker 01 I got that part.
30:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, and just be like, are you?
30:16 Speaker 02 Are you willing to share so that we can go more in depth?
30:19 Speaker 01 Share with the class?
30:21 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I mean, he taught, I mean, it's made headlines, obviously.
30:24 Speaker 01 With us a photo?
30:25 Bunnie XO? Who measured it is what I wanna know.
30:27 Speaker 02 Do they have a picture online?
30:29 Speaker 01 Are you willing to share with us a photo? Cause we're curious.
30:33 Speaker 02 Yes.
30:34 Speaker 01 Curious.
30:35 Speaker 02 What is his name again?
30:36 Speaker 01 Michael Phillips.
30:38 Speaker 02 Crazy name.
30:41 Speaker 02 Why?
30:43 Speaker 02 Isn't that the guy?
30:43 Bunnie XO? That's the swimmer's name.
30:45 Speaker 02 Oh, sorry, guys.
30:46 Bunnie XO? Gotcha, nevermind. I was with you.
30:48 Speaker 02 It's spelled the same way.
30:49 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I thought it was the same thing.
30:50 Speaker 01 Phelps and Phillips.
30:51 Speaker 02 Look.
30:54 Speaker 02 They're spelled the exact same way.
30:56 Bunnie XO? My husband and I left a black tie concert, dressed like we had money and manners, and I'm feeling off, like something is brewing. We're walking past a church, of course, because timing is cruel, and suddenly my stomach starts doing backflips. I'm standing there in full glam, trying to decide if I'm about to throw up, pass away, or absolutely destroy the sidewalk. Spoiler: it was not throw up. There was no time, no dignity, no backup plan. I just looked at my husband, who is already sensing danger, and in one swift, catastrophic decision, I hiked my dress up and accepted my fate on that
31:35 Bunnie XO? curb next to the house of God. This man watched, frozen in pure horror, as I unleashed something that can only be described as biblical. And it didn't stop. At one point, I realized I had created a situation so severe that I physically had to scoot forward to avoid making contact with my own consequences. Dressed to the nines, outside of church, my husband reconsidering everything. Anyway, if anyone asks, the concert was lovely.
32:05 Speaker 02 Forgot there was a concert.
32:08 Speaker 03 Which concert was it?
32:09 Speaker 02 Was it Coldplay?
32:10 Speaker 03 Imagine shit.
32:11 Bunnie XO? I swear to God, I was about to say Coldplay.
32:13 Speaker 01 It sounds like it would happen before a Coldplay concert.
32:17 Bunnie XO? Did she have the glizzies? That sucks.
32:19 Speaker 02 Shit on a church?
32:20 Bunnie XO? Listen, at least he's still your husband.
32:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:23 Bunnie XO? That man loves you.
32:25 Speaker 02 Talking about making a girl feel good. I'm sure he didn't make her feel weird afterwards.
32:29 Bunnie XO? That man loves you. That's how I, if I shit in front of my husband, he would 100% be completely fine. He would never look at me different. I've seen my husband shit on the side of the road and wipe his ass with a t-shirt.
32:39 Speaker 03 I do it too. I mean, if I saw Brooke, if it happened to Brooke, I'd probably shit too, just to make her feel better.
32:45 Speaker 01 Brooke's shits are like sparkly and pink.
32:47 Speaker 02 Yeah. You know, like the troll that shits like glitter? I feel like that's what Brooke is.
32:52 Speaker 01 Brooke doesn't, yeah, Brooke doesn't even seem like she.
32:53 Speaker 03 Mine would be horrible.
32:54 Speaker 02 I don't think she poops.
32:55 Speaker 03 I don't think, I've never seen it.
32:57 Speaker 01 I don't think she does.
32:58 Bunnie XO? I know my fucking donkey trucks. All right, those motherfuckers be letting loose and I'm like, damn, I can't believe that came out of me. It's rough.
33:07 Speaker 02 Hey, can we open our presents real quick?
33:09 Bunnie XO? So Jason gave us some presents and we don't know what's in here.
33:12 Speaker 02 This whole segment, this whole segment could be cut.
33:15 Bunnie XO? Yeah. All right. You ready?
33:17 Speaker 02 I'm not prepared for my husband's humor.
33:21 Bunnie XO? Dude, he stapled these or taped them shut.
33:24 Speaker 02 It's your Christmas bags for me and it's May. You used my Christmas bags. It's fucking May fifth.
33:29 Bunnie XO? Do you want this back?
33:30 Speaker 02 No.
33:31 Bunnie XO? Okay. I was like, I can't get it open without ripping it.
33:33 Speaker 02 I got taped. Yeah, or taped.
33:38 Speaker 02 I'm nervous. God, you guys are faster than me. What the hell?
33:43 Bunnie XO? Mine's great. Mine is great. What does yours say?
33:47 Speaker 02 Wait.
33:51 Speaker 02 Wait, are they different? Jason!
33:54 Bunnie XO? Mine says, mine says, eaten beef blasted queefs.
34:03 Bunnie XO? What does yours say, honey?
34:04 Speaker 02 It says lesbians eat what?
34:06 Bunnie XO? Ah, cats. And it's got a bunch of cats on the thing. That is so funny, dude.
34:12 Speaker 02 Mine says, in my cream pie era.
34:15 Bunnie XO? Oh my God. That is fucking awesome.
34:19 Speaker 02 Pound my cake daddy.
34:24 Bunnie XO? I love that.
34:25 Speaker 02 Do we wear these next episode?
34:27 Bunnie XO? We should. Yeah, let's wear them next episode.
34:30 Speaker 02 We're wearing these next episode.
34:31 Bunnie XO? Jason, where did you find these?
34:33 Speaker 02 This is insane.
34:35 Bunnie XO? Do you like this? Eaten beef blasted queefs?
34:39 Bunnie XO? He doesn't even know what's happening. All right. We love you guys. See you guys next week. Bye.
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