Pod Insights The School of Greatness 80 How to Influence and Inspire People by Mastering the Personality Matrix with Chris Lee About this episode "Once you style flex, then you can others into your vision." - Chris Lee Chris Lee is back for his third visit to the School of Greatness to teach all the Greats about the personality matrix and how we can use it to maximize the value in every relationship. Are you a Supporter, Analyzer, Promoter or Controller? Come tell us on the blog: www.lewishowes.com/80 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX
Transcript 11,351 words · 2 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:01 Lewis Howes? This is episode number 80 with Chris Lee.
0:07 Lewis Howes? Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.
0:33 Lewis Howes? Thanks so much for tuning in today, guys. I am super pumped because I have got a special guest on today. And his name is Chris Lee. That's right. You guys have been requesting him to come back. You said that his two episodes have been two of the most powerful, inspiring, moving episodes that you've listened to on the School of Greatness podcast. So since you requested it, I'm going to make sure that I listen and deliver on your request. So hopefully you guys enjoy this episode. Make sure to share it out there on social media, on Facebook, on Twitter. Post it everywhere because this is going to be the most powerful episode that he has of his three so far, in my opinion.
1:14 Lewis Howes? And we just had this thing recorded. It is awesome. It's off the charts. If you can master what Chris is going to be talking about in this next 50 to 60 minutes, then you're going to be able to take your business, your relationships in your life to a whole new level. I'm not kidding on this one. This is some of the most powerful information that I've learned over the years. And when Chris taught me this on a deeper level, I really, it really made sense on why I was able to do what I was doing in the relationships that I had. And this is all about how to influence anyone. How to influence and inspire anyone to move into any type of action?
1:57 Lewis Howes? Now, if you can get people to move into action, whether it be in your business and relationships, whatever it may be, obviously in a moral and ethical way, then you're going to be able to get the results that you're looking for on everything. Again, if you can move people into action, if you can get them to move forward on whatever you are requesting, if you're looking to get more sales, if you're looking to find a wife or a husband, right? If you can, if you can connect with people on their level and move them to action, you're going to be able to achieve anything you want. Okay, guys, this is extremely powerful. And it's all about understanding the four different personality types
2:38 Lewis Howes? that are out there in the world. Yes, there's four main personality types. And Chris is going to be covering what those personality types are, how you can see the cues of what people have and how you can instantly connect with them on their level with which personality type they are. Now, this is again, some powerful information. You want to use this wisely and you want to use it from your heart. So you want to connect with people with your heart and understand where they're coming from and connect with them on their level. Very powerful. So I'm going to basically just let Chris take it away. I'm going to introduce him here in a second when I bring him on. But this again is powerful information.
3:23 Lewis Howes? I want you guys to share this online on social media with your friends because this is one of my favorite episodes to date. And I think you're going to see why here in just a few moments. So let's go ahead and dive in with the one and only Chris Lee.
3:51 Lewis Howes? What is up everyone? Thanks again for joining me on the School of Greatness Podcast. And you've got a special treat today because we've got my good friend, my brother from another mother, Chris Lee, back on the show for the third time, the only person on the show for the third time. Very excited. He's here in my studio. I'm in Santa Monica for the summer. So he is in a new space, but we're very excited about this one. And he's been the most popular guest. He has the most views of the two shows of anyone else. Lots of people are constantly tweeting and sharing his, his message. Every day I feel like I get someone saying something about one of the podcasts.
4:33 Chris Lee? Every day I get something.
4:35 Lewis Howes? And the last two episodes that we did with him was number 36. It was about how to envision and achieve your dreams. Very powerful episode. If you haven't listened to that, make sure to go listen to it. There's a really cool guided meditation that he walks us through. And then the most recent one was number 54. I'll have these both linked up in the show notes on the 10 principles of abundance and prosperity, which is, I think more people listen to that one, I think, or it's about close, right?
5:03 Chris Lee? Very close.
5:04 Lewis Howes? But again, lots of people love them both. And people have been saying, when are you gonna get Chris back on? We want more of Chris.
5:09 Chris Lee? And the la- and that last one is, is actually becoming a book.
5:13 Lewis Howes? Yes, turning into a book. It's become so popular. So he's working on that right now. So very cool. And so everyone's like, when is Chris coming back on? And I was like, well, let's get him on soon. So he's back here teaching some workshops, some leadership workshops. So we got him in. He's a busy guy, but we're pumped to have him on. And this is one that we talked about. I went to Puerto Rico and visited Chris a few months back. And we were like, what's the next one gonna be about? And this is one that's probably It's probably gonna be the biggest episode so far, in my opinion, because it's all about understanding people and relationships. And the key to success, there's lots of keys to being successful. You've got to have hard work, dedication, commitment, you've got to be able to hustle to get what you want, lots of different things. You've got to master your craft. But
5:56 Lewis Howes? really, the key to success, that's probably the biggest key, is understanding and relating to the different types of people out there. And there's lots of different type of people with different personalities, different backgrounds. And if you only approach every person one way, then you're only going to be able to connect with a certain type of person. But if you can learn to flex your personality, your communication, and connect in different ways, and meet someone where they're at, as opposed to where you're at, that's really the key to being successful, I would say. And that's what Chris is here to talk about, which is understanding people. And he's a success coach, he's a life coach, he's a business coach. He teaches people how
6:39 Lewis Howes? to get to the next level on all areas of his lives, other lives. And it comes down to being, understanding relationships. And that's something he's been practicing and coaching and teaching for 27 years. It's understanding the emotions of people, why people do things, say things, act a certain way that they do. And again, when you can tap into that understanding, that psychology behind every individual out there, the sky's the limit of what you can create. Again, you want to be authentic and have morals and ethics when you're connecting with people. So it's not about trying to manipulate anyone by understanding where they come from and why they act the way they are. But it's understanding, it's really building
7:20 Lewis Howes? a win-win with every relationship. So I'm very excited about this one. I want you to make sure you get out a pen and paper for this. If you're driving, obviously, don't do that. But if you're sitting down somewhere, take out a pen and paper, because there's going to be some great notes that you're going to take on this one. And let's go ahead and jump right in it. So. Chris, thanks again for being here. I'm excited.
7:41 Chris Lee? I'm very excited to be here.
7:42 Lewis Howes? We just took a stroll down Santa Monica Beach and watched a bunch of people work out while we had a coffee. But I'm very excited about this and let's go ahead and dive into it. There's really four different types. Well, first off, talk about why it's so important to understand, to build relationships and understand people. And then we'll get into the types of people and personalities that are out there.
8:02 Chris Lee? Okay, so first of all, I want to say hello to everybody that's listening. It's really wonderful to connect with your audience. That I feel now is part of my audience.
8:10 Lewis Howes? Of course.
8:11 Chris Lee? And I've had the opportunity, the privilege to get a lot of messages on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram. Just people giving me feedback about how the podcast has impacted their life. And that's why we do this. We do this so that people could have tools to have a successful life, a more impactful life. And one of the things that I find is important and that you've been mentioning earlier is the ability to create relationship with other people. And if you look at people that are successful and people that impact others and people that move other people.
8:52 Chris Lee? They all have one thing in common and the thing they have in common is their ability to reach people's heart and the ability to move people. And to me, part of emotional intelligence is knowing myself, knowing my strengths, knowing my weaknesses, but also knowing my audience, knowing my client, knowing my employees, knowing the people that I'm sending a message to and being able to identify what are their needs, what are their strengths, what are their weaknesses? And by identifying what people need, we end up speaking the same language.
9:31 Chris Lee? And so a lot of people have a breakdown because their message is one language and people are listening through another filter. And so they're hearing a different language. And it's like we're both speaking English or whatever the language is, but it's just people here in a different way and process in a different way. And this tool that we're going to bring forward right now in this podcast, I'm very excited because it's something that's helped me be able to impact the maximum number of people. Like you said earlier, if I only, you know, the only tool, like an example, the only tool you have in life is a hammer, everything will start showing up like a nail.
10:08 Lewis Howes? Right.
10:08 Chris Lee? And you know that there are a lot of things that, a lot of tools necessary to create what we want to create. And so this tool is going to help people, assist people in reading other people and knowing where they're at. And also knowing what they need to access. So it's not about being fake. It's about shifting your way and your approach to reach people.
10:31 Lewis Howes? Yeah, yeah. Cause if you're, if you're, you know, it's not, everything's not a nail. You know, you need a screwdriver for a screw. If you try to nail a screwdriver and it's going to look all nasty and it's not going to work. Just like a relationship won't work if you're treating each relationship as the same. So you need to be able to adjust or take a different tool out to put it in its place.
10:50 Chris Lee? And you can have a hundred people listening to you, but you have to speak to a hun- to different listenings.
10:56 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
10:56 Chris Lee? And each person has a personality and a style. And so this, what I'm bringing in this is called the personality matrix, which comes from studies that have been done on different styles of personalities. And obviously there's thousands of styles of personalities, but there's a general consensus that there are four personality types. And what's cool about this podcast is as I describe each personality type, you're going to be able to identify, okay, that's me.
11:26 Lewis Howes? Or that's my boyfriend.
11:27 Chris Lee? Or that's my boyfriend or my boss or my employee. And so what's great is you'll be able to speak their language.
11:33 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
11:33 Chris Lee? And it's also every personality type has a strength and a weakness. So it's also a good tool so that you could identify, okay, that's my personality type. That is definitely my strength and then my weakness is I need to develop that.
11:46 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
11:47 Chris Lee? So learning my personality type, then I could identify my strength and my weakness. And I could develop my weaknesses and continue with my strengths. But it also allows me to identify other people and speak their language, therefore creating success.
12:06 Lewis Howes? And if anyone, you know, we have lots of entrepreneurs and business owners on here. And this is extremely valuable for, for you specifically because your audience, you're going to want to speak your audience language or your potential customers' language. And if you're just speaking your language, then you're going to attract the same people back to you. But if you want to reach a broader audience, you've got to start speaking a language. How about everyone?
12:26 Chris Lee? And ideally, a leader is, has access to all four personality types.
12:33 Lewis Howes? Right.
12:33 Chris Lee? So if I have, if I know that my audience is one personality type mostly, that I get to speak in a way that they understand.
12:41 Lewis Howes? Sure.
12:42 Chris Lee? And then bring them the message.
12:43 Lewis Howes? Yep.
12:44 Chris Lee? Because everybody listens in a different way.
12:45 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
12:46 Chris Lee? And it just allows me to be more effective.
12:49 Lewis Howes? Okay, cool. So let's uh, let's go into it. What are the, what are the four personality types?
12:55 Chris Lee? Okay, so let's, let's talk, let's talk one by one because each one is complex. So the first uh, personality style, and by the way, you may, as you listen to this, you may feel that you fit into one. It's possible you fit into two. It's possible that you have, you know, a little more of one than the other, a little less of the other than this one. And also, it's, it could also be depending on the circumstance. For example, I could be a personality type in bed.
13:23 Lewis Howes? Ah, right.
13:24 Chris Lee? Or I could be a personality type at work.
13:26 Lewis Howes? Sure.
13:26 Chris Lee? Or I could be a different personality type socially. So, but there's generally a home base.
13:33 Lewis Howes? Right.
13:34 Chris Lee? Okay, so the first personality type I want to talk about is the controller.
13:41 Lewis Howes? What's the controller?
13:41 Chris Lee? The controller is the person that always wants to be right. The controller is the person that likes to be in control of himself. So he's in control, but he wants to be in control of everyone around him.
13:54 Lewis Howes? Hmm, so can you give me some examples of that?
13:56 Chris Lee? Yeah, it's somebody that uh, likes to be the source of all the ideas. So even if it's your idea, they thought of it.
14:03 Lewis Howes? Really?
14:05 Chris Lee? A controller is somebody that is, they're usually a leader. They're very powerful. They're powerful with their conviction. They got a lot of confidence. And they think they could get it done better than anybody else. So a controller, the gift of a controller is that they make things happen. These are the movers, the shakers, the people that do whatever it takes. And the gift of the controller is that a controller is confident, a controller is a leader, they take initiative.
14:33 Lewis Howes? Make decisions.
14:34 Chris Lee? They make decisions. They're all about the result.
14:38 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
14:39 Chris Lee? Now.
14:39 Lewis Howes? Goal oriented.
14:40 Chris Lee? Completely goal oriented, results oriented.
14:43 Lewis Howes? Right.
14:44 Chris Lee? So the downside of a controller is that they appear insensitive. They appear mean.
14:51 Chris Lee? They don't listen. They like to be right. Therefore, everyone around them is wrong.
14:57 Lewis Howes? Right.
14:58 Chris Lee? Ring a bell, people?
15:01 Chris Lee? So it's that boss that won't listen to feedback, won't listen to ideas.
15:06 Lewis Howes? Can't take criticism.
15:07 Chris Lee? Doesn't take criticism. It's that person that likes to be right.
15:11 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
15:11 Chris Lee? And they don't listen. As a matter of fact, before, they'll ask a question, but they'll answer it.
15:17 Lewis Howes? Hmm.
15:18 Chris Lee? So that's the person that is inflexible. So if they have a plan, they go to dinner, and they want to go to Chinese food, that's it. It's Chinese food, period. You want to go with them, it's gotta be Chinese.
15:29 Lewis Howes? Wow.
15:29 Chris Lee? If you say it's, you know, I want to eat Thai food, forget it. You're eating alone.
15:35 Chris Lee? And a controller is, the good news about a controller is that they make things happen. They're powerful. They make, you know, take initiative, and they usually have results.
15:46 Lewis Howes? Sure.
15:47 Chris Lee? The downside is the biggest cost or the biggest price is relationships.
15:53 Chris Lee? Because who wants to be around somebody who doesn't listen and who's always right? And so if you're a controller and if you identify with that, well, obviously you need to work on your social skills, your relationship skills, your listening skills, et cetera, et cetera. And as I described some of the other personality types, you'll know what you'll need to work on as well. So if you have a controller and you're addressing a controller in terms of managing them, or you want to convince them to do something, you need to speak their language.
16:29 Lewis Howes? So if someone's always right, say you're trying to sell me something, or you're trying to get me to do something that maybe I'm not convinced on doing or buying yet. And you want to speak my language, say I'm the controller, and I like it my way, a certain way, like I have something in my mind that it's gotta be that way. How would you speak to me to convert me into buying or, you know, coming along a trip?
16:53 Chris Lee? Or investing in your company?
16:55 Lewis Howes? Whatever.
16:56 Chris Lee? Yeah, so first of all, I gotta be confident. If I show up wishy-washy, or wimpy, or unsure, it's over.
17:04 Lewis Howes? Then it's not, he's not gonna trust you. He or she is not gonna trust you.
17:06 Chris Lee? Cause, you know, he's gonna look at you like you're full of it.
17:09 Lewis Howes? And he knows more than you, and he's right.
17:11 Chris Lee? He always knows more than you. So you gotta be confident, you gotta be clear, you gotta show up. Dressed in a formal way, because controllers are formal. They're formal and they're dress and they're dominant. So they're dominant and they're formal. So you gotta show up formal and you gotta show up in a not necessarily over domineering, but you gotta show up that you're powerful too. So you gotta match their energy. So mirroring them. Yeah, you gotta match their energy. And to convince a controller, you gotta make everything their idea.
17:47 Chris Lee? So you gotta turn the thing into, well, you know, you need to agree with them. And as you're agreeing, you're inputting, you're inputting whatever it is you want them to do. Like, once you have their trust, once you have their attention, then you could convey your message. It's almost stroke their ego in a sense. Stroke their ego, but Without being, stroking it, but you know. Yeah, yeah. No, you, you need, you need to connect with them at their level. Yeah. You know, powerful people like to be around powerful people. Right. And they're, they're not gonna put money into someone that shows up wimpy. Right. Or not sure or unclear. Right. So a controller, someone who's dominant and, and somebody who is formal.
18:31 Chris Lee? So you gotta present them in a dominant and formal way. The complete opposite of a controller is the person who's a supporter. And a supporter is somebody who, they're not so concerned about the result. They're more concerned about the feelings. And so they're about feelings, they're about love and acknowledgement and self-worth and respect. And the supporter, the positive thing about a supporter is that they're loving and they're caring. They're the nurturers. Yeah. They're the caretakers. They're the people that will give the shirt off their back for other people.
19:16 Chris Lee? They put other people first. They're always focusing on your needs. Giving, giving, giving. Givers, total givers. Yeah. The downside of a supporter is that they show up like a doormat. People take advantage of them. People walk all over them. They don't stand up for themselves. They don't stand up for themselves. Their voice doesn't count. And so if you have somebody in your life that's a supporter and you try to dominate them. Then they're just gonna shrink.
19:41 Lewis Howes? Wow.
19:41 Chris Lee? They're gonna go into their, into their cave and they're not gonna come out.
19:45 Lewis Howes? Right.
19:46 Chris Lee? They're gonna shut down. They're gonna feel abused by you.
19:49 Lewis Howes? Cheers.
19:50 Chris Lee? And so if you're, if you're a controller and you're in a relationship with a supporter, you gotta access love and care and stroke their heart.
20:00 Lewis Howes? Connection and yeah.
20:02 Chris Lee? They, they respond to acknowledgement. They respond to love. They respond to great job. I'm proud of you. Thank you. That you will inspire a supporter that way and they'll be loyal for life.
20:16 Lewis Howes? Hmm.
20:17 Chris Lee? So if you're a supporter, you gotta work on your voice and your courage and your self-confidence. And you gotta step up.
20:23 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
20:24 Chris Lee? And if you're a supporter that needs to motivate a controller, then you gotta own your power. You gotta show up confident. You gotta speak up. You can't, you know, you can't, if you're a supporter, you can't. One of the things that I talked about is how we put ourselves in a box. And we say, well, that's just kinda how I am. And so the, the idea of these quadrants is not to put yourself in a box. The idea of these quadrants is to identify where you are and to shift. And we, we have the ability to shift. What does shift mean? It means moving from one space to the other. And if you learn these quadrants and you learn to navigate through these quadrants, you could access the positive gifts of each quadrant, therefore becoming successful.
21:06 Lewis Howes? Right. And the greatest leaders probably have access to, they're probably a little bit of it. They probably have one or two dominant, but then they can always access the other two at any time.
21:13 Chris Lee? Absolutely. I mean, I'll talk about me, you know, where I operated from before and, and because of this work, what I do now.
21:19 Lewis Howes? Right.
21:20 Chris Lee? So being a supporter, that they're feeling oriented. The questions that supporters ask is why? You know, and you know, why is this happening? And you know, and they're easygoing. They're informal. So their, their way of being is casual, easygoing, informal. They, they go with the flow. So if the controller goes, we're eating Chinese or the supporter hates Chinese food. Oh, I'll find something I like. It doesn't matter.
21:51 Lewis Howes? Very flexible.
21:52 Chris Lee? Super flexible. You know, a supporter, the gift of the supporters, they're the heart.
21:57 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
21:57 Chris Lee? Of every organization. And They're like the best customer support. Totally supportive. Uh, they're, they're great encouraging teams and they're peacemakers. They're always, they avoid conflict. Yeah. Controllers love conflict. They're like, let's confront this now. And see who's right. Right. And so a supporter needs to, you know, shift their way of being. So that's the second quadrant, I would say in terms of. So we've got the controller, supporter. Yeah, the controller and you have the supporter. Which are opposites. Yeah, they're opposites. One is, uh, results oriented. The other is feelings oriented. Okay.
22:37 Chris Lee? One is about, okay, what are we creating? And then the supporter is why, which is a non-confrontational question. Right. And a non-produce, non-rewards producing question. Right. They're like, why is this happening? Okay. So then we go to the other two quadrants and the other quadrant is the promoter.
22:59 Chris Lee? And the promoter is the passionate life of the party. They're outrageous. You know, they're all about relationships. You know, if you invite them to the party, they're not going to ask, why are you inviting me or what's going to happen? They want to know who's there. Right. Who's at the party? And if I like them, I'm there. And if it's fun, I'm in. Yeah. So, uh, promoters are all about being the center of attention. They want to shine and shine bright like a diamond. You know, you know, they, they want people to remember their name. Yeah. And, you know, the, the, the gift of the promoters, that the, a promoter is outrageous and passionate and energetic and talkative.
23:43 Chris Lee? You can imagine what quadrant I fall into.
23:47 Chris Lee? I love, you know, being outrageous and passionate and communicative. Expressive and. I love being in relationships. I like doing things with groups of people and that's my home base. Like speaking in front of audiences. I love it. You could put me in front of 2,000 people and I'm feeling it. Yeah. And meanwhile, you know, somebody who's the opposite quadrant, you put them in front of 2,000 people and they freeze.
24:11 Chris Lee? So a promoter is relationship driven. A promoter is all about fun and energy. And that's the gift of a promoter. And so if you want to inspire a promoter, you can't be boring or cold or.
24:24 Lewis Howes? It's gotta be exciting.
24:25 Chris Lee? You can't be too soft. You gotta show up exciting. If you're gonna sell your idea to a promoter or you want a promoter invest his money, his millions of dollars in your business. You gotta make it exciting, gotta make it passionate.
24:38 Lewis Howes? The next big thing.
24:39 Chris Lee? Yeah, this is it. This is it.
24:42 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
24:42 Chris Lee? And, uh, you know, you can't control him and you can't just be wimpy with him either. Because a promoter is actually dominant with their energy. They're very dominant. They're like, you know, they love their ideas. And at the same time, they're easygoing. So they're casual in terms of their approach at life. They're pretty casual. You could see them in a suit. You could see them in flip flops. You know, a lot of, a lot of directors are that way. And you've seen these directors, Hollywood directors that make millions of dollars and they look homeless. You know, they're promoters. They're like full of energy. And so a promoter has a lot of energy and the gift of the promoter is the communication, the ability to communicate. Their ability to express, their ability to make people feel good.
25:27 Chris Lee? The downside is that they have so many ideas, they don't finish any.
25:32 Lewis Howes? The lack of focus maybe or the.
25:34 Chris Lee? They suffer from A D D D D H D.
25:37 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
25:38 Chris Lee? Permanently.
25:39 Lewis Howes? Right.
25:40 Chris Lee? Like when the next shiny object comes up, they're gone.
25:42 Lewis Howes? Right, right.
25:44 Chris Lee? So I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that. All of the promoters like, that's me. And of course, me is one of their favorite words, you know? So promoter, you know, if you want to inspire a promoter, you gotta be passionate. You gotta show up alive. You gotta show up with, with energy. And if you want to coach a promoter, you gotta coach them on how to create specific goals and stick to them. Because one of the downsides of promoters is that they break their word. They're so, they say yes to everything.
26:10 Lewis Howes? So they have to break somewhere.
26:11 Chris Lee? Yeah.
26:12 Lewis Howes? They probably feel overwhelmed at some point.
26:14 Chris Lee? Exactly. Completely overwhelmed.
26:16 Lewis Howes? I just agreed to everything and I.
26:18 Chris Lee? Right. And people get mad at them.
26:20 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
26:20 Chris Lee? And they also show up, since they're so energetic and passionate, they also can show up inauthentic. They could show up like phony, like actors, actresses. There are a lot of people in acting that are promoters.
26:30 Lewis Howes? Right.
26:30 Chris Lee? You know, great energy, you know, and but little follow through.
26:35 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
26:35 Chris Lee? And of course, the opposite of the promoter is the analyzer. The analyzer is somebody who is formal in their way of being, like very strict and structured.
26:51 Lewis Howes? Right.
26:52 Chris Lee? You know, but they're easygoing in the sense of that they don't really push through their ideas.
27:00 Lewis Howes? Hmm.
27:01 Chris Lee? So they could be, they could ponder on something for a long time.
27:05 Lewis Howes? Before they make a decision.
27:06 Chris Lee? Absolutely.
27:07 Lewis Howes? Buying a home could take five years.
27:09 Chris Lee? Exactly.
27:10 Lewis Howes? Looking at a hundred homes and analyzing every square footage.
27:13 Chris Lee? Like they'll take a contract and they will dissect it, decipher it, they'll talk to 10 lawyers and then they'll sign.
27:20 Lewis Howes? Right.
27:21 Chris Lee? So an analyzer, the gift of the analyzer is detail, structure, organization. Notice this what promoters don't have. Uh, their detail, structured, organize, analyzers are their word. So they say they're gonna do something, take it to the bank.
27:37 Lewis Howes? Right.
27:38 Chris Lee? But before they give their word.
27:40 Lewis Howes? They're gonna think about it forever.
27:41 Chris Lee? Think about it forever. A promoter gives their word and thinks later.
27:45 Lewis Howes? Right. And says, sorry later.
27:46 Chris Lee? And go, oh, I, sorry, I, I thought I, I could make it. So an analyzer, what's great about an analyzer is they're great with numbers, they're great with computers, they're great with structure, organization.
27:57 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
27:58 Chris Lee? Detail oriented. The downside of the analyzer is.
28:01 Lewis Howes? Run a company well, they can run the structure.
28:03 Chris Lee? Absolutely.
28:04 Lewis Howes? Have the spreadsheets.
28:06 Chris Lee? Oh my God, down to a T.
28:07 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
28:08 Chris Lee? And then the downside is they lack passion, they lack spontaneity. Sometimes you'd put a, you know, a mirror underneath their nose to see if they're breathing. Cause a lot of times they show up dead.
28:20 Lewis Howes? Right.
28:20 Chris Lee? There's just no expression.
28:21 Lewis Howes? No life.
28:22 Chris Lee? It's like from the neck down, not connected.
28:24 Lewis Howes? Wow.
28:25 Chris Lee? I'm talking about severe case, obviously.
28:27 Lewis Howes? Sure.
28:27 Chris Lee? So the gift of the analyzer, of course, is that they are disciplined, they're organized, they're structured. They could set up systems and they could, you know, decipher problems and problem solving. The downside is by the time they get to it, someone else thought of it.
28:44 Lewis Howes? Hmm.
28:45 Chris Lee? And did it.
28:46 Lewis Howes? Right.
28:47 Chris Lee? So if you have, so if you have an analyzing client, you need to make sure you got the information. Because not having your information clear is like being caught with your pants down.
28:59 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
28:59 Chris Lee? It's like, uh, got busted. So you gotta have the facts, the details. If you're selling an analyzer or a car, you gotta have every single detail about that car. You gotta know your, your product. You gotta know what you're communicating. Same thing if you have, you know, an employee that's an analyzer, you gotta explain them all the details so that he can finally feel confident. And obviously coach him on being passionate and coach him on being spontaneous.
29:23 Lewis Howes? Right.
29:24 Chris Lee? So.
29:25 Lewis Howes? So to give, so to give an example of that, let's say you're selling a car. If you're selling it to a promoter, you would say like, this is the fastest car on the road and you're gonna have the best time. You're gonna, you know, it's gonna be the talk of the town, the way it looks.
29:37 Chris Lee? You're gonna look good in it. You're gonna look amazing in it.
29:41 Lewis Howes? Yeah, you're gonna feel good.
29:43 Chris Lee? People are gonna wanna ride the car with you. You're gonna feel confident. You're gonna be a superstar.
29:49 Lewis Howes? Right. And if you're selling to an analyzer, you're saying.
29:51 Chris Lee? You're gonna get, you know, X amount of, you know, miles per gallon and the warranty is amazing and the structure of it. And look, it's got lithium and it's got this and it's got unbelievable.
30:04 Lewis Howes? Six cup holders.
30:05 Chris Lee? Steel. Yeah, exactly. And then the air conditioner has all these modules and, you know, they wanna know all the details of the car. And, and, and how they're, how, how much money they're gonna put down and how much they're gonna save and how being with you, they're saving money and all the details.
30:22 Lewis Howes? And if it's a supporter.
30:23 Chris Lee? And if it's a supporter.
30:24 Lewis Howes? Very safe for your family.
30:26 Chris Lee? You're gonna be safe and you're gonna be able to carry your entire family with you in this minivan, cause they all have minivans.
30:33 Lewis Howes? Right.
30:33 Chris Lee? Cause they want everybody in it.
30:34 Lewis Howes? Lots of space.
30:35 Chris Lee? Yeah, lots of space.
30:37 Lewis Howes? Groceries, the dog, that, yeah.
30:39 Chris Lee? Yeah, you're gonna be able to carry people's luggage and help people.
30:43 Lewis Howes? Take people to the airport.
30:44 Chris Lee? Carpool.
30:46 Lewis Howes? Exactly.
30:47 Chris Lee? So, I mean, yeah. And, and if it's a controller, they gotta feel that how it, that it's never gonna break down. So you're gonna be able to get, it's reliable. You're gonna be able to get to work on time and you won't miss days of work.
30:58 Lewis Howes? Efficient, it's, yeah.
30:59 Chris Lee? Interesting. And if you're a controller and you have a supporter, you need to shift because a controller- If you are a controller selling- No, no, if you're, I'm a controller and I'm selling to a supporter- Yup, yup. I can't dominate my way through that conversation. You gotta become nurturing- I gotta be soft and access feelings which controllers hate. It's like icky, mushy, so you gotta be nice and soft and loving and caring. And the same thing in a relationship, let's take it home. So you're a controller, your wife's a supporter. If you try to dominate your wife, she's gonna feel, before you know it, resentful and she'll leave you. Yeah, unloved. You know, unloved or she'll feel like a doormat.
31:44 Chris Lee? So if you're a controller and that's your style, you gotta be loving and supportive and access that and develop that. If you're a controller and you have a analyzing wife, you gotta be, you gotta slow it down, you gotta give her the space or give him the space to come up with his, his own conclusions. Yeah. And you gotta, you gotta be very clear in your communication about the plan, like you're going on vacation. It can't be, you can't wing it because they won't feel safe. Right. Promoters wing it. Right. You know, if you're a controller and you've got a promoter, you gotta access the passion. So each quadrant has its pros and its cons. And I think it's important for each one of you that are listening to identify, okay, which is my home base?
32:29 Chris Lee? What is my strength? What is my weakness? And by knowing your strength, you know what you could count on. And by identifying your weaknesses, you could develop it. Sure. And then you could do what's called style flexing. Hmm. And style flexing is reading and identifying your audience. Whether it's relationship, business, whether it's community, whatever it is, look at your audience and see what's wanted and needed. Hmm. And by shifting, so let's say I'm a supporter and I've got a controlling audience, I gotta up the power. Sure. Or if I'm an analyzer, I have a promoting audience, I gotta access passion, which to me is foreign.
33:15 Lewis Howes? Right.
33:15 Chris Lee? So I got scary. It's like, you know, your belief systems are going off. And so when you hold yourself in a box, well, no, it's just that's how I am. I'm an analyzer and I've always been that way. Well, that's being a victim of whatever your comfort zone is because we all have our comfort zones.
33:32 Lewis Howes? Sure.
33:32 Chris Lee? And we all have our home base.
33:34 Lewis Howes? Yeah. Interesting. Now, how does someone determine what they're like, well, I'm a little bit of all that, or I'm not really sure which one I am. How do they determine what they are? Is there like a formal test they can take? Is there something to determine they're dominant?
33:49 Chris Lee? Well, I think that in the description, as you're listening to the description, you'll know what rings. You ring, you know what rings true.
33:56 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
33:56 Chris Lee? You know, if you know, if you show up like a controller and you like to be a control, you like to have results and you kind of sometimes bypass people's feelings. And you know, if you're all about putting everybody first and you're all about feelings and you're a supporter and you know that if you analyze everything to death and you suffer sometimes from analysis paralysis. Okay. And you also know if you're this spontaneous burst of energy.
34:20 Lewis Howes? Right.
34:21 Chris Lee? You know, you're, you're a flying unicorn in the air.
34:25 Chris Lee? And so, and so I, I'm answering your question. I want to say that there's also different moments. For example, maybe at home, I'm a supporter and at work, I'm a controller. Maybe in my community, I'm a analyzer or in public, I'm one way. So there's different roles that we play and they fall into that.
34:49 Lewis Howes? Right.
34:49 Chris Lee? And so it depends on the situation. Some people are the same everywhere. Some people shift. Some people have needed to develop a certain part that they weren't before. For example, maybe you've been a supporter your whole life, but now you run a Fortune 500 company and you need to access controller. And you learned through the school of our knocks that you had a, you got, you had to up, up the velocity in terms of who you're showing up as.
35:14 Lewis Howes? Right.
35:15 Chris Lee? And also. There are people that have a little bit of two quadrants or three quadrants. For example, myself, when I was younger, I was promoter with promoter. You know, there was not an ounce of anything else in me. I was just all about having fun. Right. And I didn't care. You know, I was late to everything. I didn't care what people thought. I didn't care about my appearance. You know, I was like casual, but I was always about having fun, having a good time, and if it wasn't fun, I wouldn't do it. And the problem with that is that my feelings absolutely controlled me. So when I was having fun, I was feeling it, I would do it. And when I didn't feel it, I quit. So of course, I was Mr. Start Everything, Never Finish. Uh huh. Okay, so I was a total promoter.
36:00 Chris Lee? As I developed myself in, in the transformational journey I've been on, since I started doing these workshops that you've also done, I have learned to take the best of that, which is the energy and the passion. And I've developed a more responsible, detail-oriented, focused person in me, which is the analyzer. Right. And so in different moments of my life, I access different things. But if you were to ask me right now, what's my home base? I'd say promoter with controller because of my business. Yeah. I have to be in charge. I gotta be, I gotta, I gotta take the lead. And so I'm a little bit of promoter with controller. Yeah. And there are people that feel that they're controller with analyzer.
36:46 Chris Lee? And there's people that are analyzer with controller. Or maybe you feel that you're a supporter with promoter. Hmm. But it's very rare that you're a controller with supporter. Right. Yeah. As a home base. Doesn't mean that you're not that way in different areas. Sure. So, so as, as you identify the quadrant, then you're able to move people and to make an impact. Yeah. So just ask yourself, you know, of the four quadrants, which is the one that you find is most you? So I want to just ask you directly, Lewis. Yeah. What of all that I've described, which one do you feel like it's your home base? Doesn't mean you don't access all the other ones because I know you do. I've seen you.
37:31 Chris Lee? You access all of it. It's definitely promoter. I'd say promoter, controller. Okay, so promoter, meaning that you have a lot of energy, a lot of passion, you want to do a million things.
37:41 Lewis Howes? Yeah, and I'm a marketer, like by nature, my business, it's like promoting my business, my events, getting the word out there.
37:48 Chris Lee? What's the downside that you've had to work through?
37:50 Lewis Howes? Definitely like feeling overwhelmed sometimes because I commit to too many projects. It's like everything is fun and exciting, like a great idea, let's do it all. But I'm like, oh, I'm dropping the ball on a few of these things, or they're not where I want them to be, so I might feel overwhelmed. Or getting the structure in place for each exciting idea. And, you know, tapping into that organized, organized structure, uh, part of me. So sometimes that happens.
38:17 Chris Lee? And which quadrant would you say is the more difficult or the more challenging quadrant for you to relate to, like when you have a group of people like that, it's like, it's stretch?
38:26 Lewis Howes? Yeah, I mean, I would say the most challenging, I feel like I've worked a lot on it and been able to tap into a lot of these, but I'd say the hardest is the analyzer. Just because they're like, an extreme analyzer, it's like, where's the energy? They don't, they don't mirror the passion when I bring it.
38:43 Chris Lee? So you're, you're all passionate and excited and they're, and they're looking at you confused, like you're from Mars.
38:48 Lewis Howes? Exactly. And so I think it's meeting them where they're at, mirroring an analyzer, and...
38:54 Chris Lee? I feel like I'm looking at my mirror, that's my biggest challenge too. I'm a promoter.
38:57 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
38:58 Chris Lee? Promoter, promoter with controller. And the biggest challenge for me is analyzer. And because I use these quadrants...
39:04 Lewis Howes? A supporter is easy, I think. Like, I can be very supportive.
39:07 Chris Lee? Yeah, yeah.
39:08 Lewis Howes? For you. Yeah, for me, for me.
39:09 Chris Lee? But, but going back to using the quadrants. So because of these quadrants, and I've learned these quadrants, I've been able to slow it down.
39:18 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
39:18 Chris Lee? Be more detail oriented, be more visual.
39:21 Lewis Howes? Right.
39:21 Chris Lee? Analyzers are also visual. So promoters are more about, you know, communication and listening and hearing and feeling.
39:30 Lewis Howes? Feelings, yep.
39:30 Chris Lee? Analyzer is more about logic.
39:33 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
39:33 Chris Lee? So I've been able to develop, you know, more of a structured approach to what I do, so that people could identify to that, and that way I don't lose my, my analyzing people that are in that quadrant.
39:45 Lewis Howes? Right.
39:46 Chris Lee? And so the idea of this podcast is that you identify which is your quadrant. And... Develop the quadrants that are challenging for you.
39:59 Lewis Howes? So how would someone develop their non-dominant quadrants? You know, obviously you said first step is really being aware of what you are, I think. So if you're a promoter or a controller or a supporter analyzer, being aware of that. And then how would you start tapping into and practicing the other ones? Like, what are some things you could do, some things you could think about or?
40:18 Chris Lee? So for example, if you're, if you have a hard time being passionate and expressive, then you could start doing things that are passionate. For example, let's say promoters love to dance.
40:31 Lewis Howes? Oh, yes.
40:32 Chris Lee? I know you do.
40:33 Lewis Howes? So do I.
40:35 Chris Lee? It's like dance, I'm in. So for an analyzer, one of the things that I could invite an analyzer to do is to find a place to go dancing.
40:42 Lewis Howes? Oh, that's true.
40:44 Chris Lee? And dance like nobody's watching.
40:46 Lewis Howes? Wow.
40:47 Chris Lee? And just, you know, give yourself permission, let the music move through you. And as your analyzing brain is saying, I look stupid.
40:56 Lewis Howes? Right.
40:57 Chris Lee? Just know that that's a belief that you're making up and you get to challenge it.
41:03 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
41:03 Chris Lee? Because who cares how you look?
41:04 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
41:05 Chris Lee? It's about accessing passion. An analyzer could practice communicating with passion. An analyzer could be more expressive, can also surround himself with a promoter that could coach him. Because remember, one of the ways that we develop ourselves is finding a mentor.
41:24 Lewis Howes? Sure.
41:25 Chris Lee? That is doing what we want to do. You know, for example, you want to have a successful business, then you want to surround yourself with people who have successful businesses.
41:32 Lewis Howes? Hire a business coach.
41:33 Chris Lee? Hire a business coach. So an analyzer could access that in terms of, you know, looking for people that are passionate and have that skill.
41:43 Lewis Howes? Right.
41:44 Chris Lee? And that ability. And the same thing with promoter, how could a promoter develop his organizational skills by finding somebody who's organized?
41:50 Lewis Howes? It's like, it's sometimes painful for me to be around so many analyzers or to even think about organization, like structuring things and like. Charting it all down, it just something like hurts my brain sometimes.
42:03 Chris Lee? Well, the more practice that you have at that, the easier it becomes. It becomes part of your comfort zone.
42:09 Lewis Howes? Sure, sure.
42:09 Chris Lee? So it's a question of practicing.
42:11 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
42:11 Chris Lee? It's a question of doing the task and having somebody that is already an expert at that, working with you.
42:20 Lewis Howes? That's what I was just gonna say, like, if you're not an analyzer, definitely hire an analyzer in your business to do those things for you. Cause I don't recommend being all those things in your business. I personally recommend focusing on the thing you're great at. Hiring people around you to support the company with the things you're not great at. But obviously, understanding how to tap into.
42:39 Chris Lee? If somebody that's listening can't hire somebody.
42:42 Lewis Howes? True.
42:42 Chris Lee? Then. Yeah, I mean, we can't all just hire people.
42:46 Lewis Howes? That's true.
42:47 Chris Lee? We're not like you. Some of us actually, you know.
42:50 Lewis Howes? True. That's true. No, I understand that.
42:52 Chris Lee? Can't, don't have that on our payroll.
42:53 Lewis Howes? But if you do, but if you do, you definitely will not be able to understand.
42:56 Chris Lee? I think, I think that anybody that is successful, part of what's gonna have them be successful is find people that are good at what they do.
43:03 Lewis Howes? Of course.
43:03 Chris Lee? And surround yourself with them.
43:05 Lewis Howes? Right.
43:05 Chris Lee? I, I now have an accountant. I'm not, you know, I don't do numbers, so I have an accountant. I've accessed the analyzer me by organizing myself to such a degree that I even hired an accountant.
43:17 Lewis Howes? Right.
43:17 Chris Lee? That used to be not on my radar. So the whole point of this is that, you know, if, if you find that you're strong in one area and you have weaknesses in the other, you gotta do things that represent that. For example, if you're a controller and you're used to being in charge and you're used to being, you know, doing things your way. Stretch.
43:41 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
43:41 Chris Lee? And let other people contribute to you. Practice listening. Do listening exercises. Connect with somebody who's a supporter that expresses how they feel. Talk about your feelings. Do things that are uncomfortable. None of these things are impossible. All these things are completely accessible to all of us. It's a question of a choice.
44:01 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
44:02 Chris Lee? You know, a controller could, could choose to write a love note to his wife if he chooses to.
44:08 Lewis Howes? Wow.
44:08 Chris Lee? And open his heart and actually practice being loving.
44:13 Chris Lee? You know, or actually a controller could actually have a meeting with his employees and just do an acknowledgement meeting. I just want to acknowledge you guys. I want to thank you for the hard work. Do you have any idea?
44:24 Lewis Howes? Controller?
44:25 Chris Lee? Controller.
44:25 Lewis Howes? Wow, that'd be powerful.
44:27 Chris Lee? To do that with his employees. Think about how far that will go.
44:31 Lewis Howes? Wow.
44:32 Chris Lee? And if you're a supporter boss and you have a hard time expressing your feelings and you're and and not your feelings, sorry, I have a hard time expressing your opinions and you want to make a stand and and you want to confront something, then you need to practice speaking up, speaking louder, speaking clearer, and do those kind of exercises that access another part of you.
44:58 Lewis Howes? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, and it's not necessarily supposed to be easy. It can be easy once you develop the skills, but it's called, you know, a stretch for a reason, I guess. It's going to be challenging to get out of your comfort zone and start tapping into these other personality types. So definitely, you know, don't beat yourself up if you're not able to do this right away. It's going to take time.
45:18 Chris Lee? Well, the first step is to be aware.
45:19 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
45:20 Chris Lee? You know, you're you're a promoter and your girlfriend's an analyzer. You know, don't just say, hey, we're going to go wherever. You got to be clear about where you're going and make sure it works for her. And then, once, once you're speaking, another thing I want to say, it doesn't mean to squash your your quadrant.
45:37 Lewis Howes? Right.
45:37 Chris Lee? So once you have the controller's attention, then you could be passionate.
45:40 Lewis Howes? Sure.
45:41 Chris Lee? Then you could be outrageous.
45:42 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
45:43 Chris Lee? But if you go into a controller, let's say you want to sell something to a controller, and you're like, hi, how are you doing? Oh, my God. And you're out of your body. The controller will look at you like you're an alien.
45:57 Chris Lee? So you got to be more reserved. Excuse me, sir, do you have a few minutes?
46:00 Lewis Howes? Right.
46:01 Chris Lee? I don't want to bother you, but this is very important. You know, you got to, you got to speak on their terms.
46:07 Lewis Howes? Right.
46:07 Chris Lee? Once you have the attention of somebody, once
46:10 Lewis Howes? Then you can get passionate.
46:11 Chris Lee? Once you styled flexed, then you could bring them into your vision.
46:15 Lewis Howes? Interesting.
46:16 Chris Lee? So a supporter, once they're confident and they show up powerful for the controller, then the supporter could bring their heart in there.
46:24 Lewis Howes? Interesting.
46:25 Chris Lee? Because at the end of the day, we're all the same.
46:27 Lewis Howes? Exactly. Yeah.
46:28 Chris Lee? We just have, we we just have different masks on. And these are different masks. Controller has that mask, but underneath it, they want the same thing we all do, which is to love and be loved.
46:38 Lewis Howes? That's true.
46:38 Chris Lee? You know, at the end of the day.
46:39 Lewis Howes? That's true. So I want to give you guys a You know, a, a challenge, well, I guess it's not a challenge, but I want you to post in the comments section, wherever you're listening to this, go back to the show notes over at LewisHowes.com. I'll give you the specific link at the end of this podcast. Go back there in the comments section. I want you to post what your dominant quadrant is. So promoter, controller, supporter, analyzer. You've probably got enough information now from what Chris has been talking about. Go in the comments section, post what your dominant one is. If you have two, they may be posted, uh, the two. And, uh, what else should they, should they say in that? Should they say what the greatest benefit is for them for being that? Or what's been holding them back for being that?
47:22 Chris Lee? Yeah, they could say what, what the benefit is of that quadrant and what their challenge is.
47:26 Lewis Howes? There you go.
47:27 Chris Lee? So my benefit is that I'm able to connect with people. I'm able to relate to people. My challenge is that I don't follow through.
47:35 Lewis Howes? Right.
47:36 Chris Lee? And also I think it'd be interesting to hear what is, what quadrant is the biggest challenge? Because one of the biggest complaints that I get in my seminars is if my husband would only change. If my boss would only change, if the teachers would only change. And a leader is not concerned about other people changing. A leader's concerned about reaching people where they're at.
48:02 Lewis Howes? Wow, that's interesting.
48:03 Chris Lee? And if I reach people where they're at and I access all of the quadrants, whatever's wanted and needed, you want to be a Jedi master of the quadrants. Promoter, here it is. Analyzer, here it is. Supporter, here it is. Controller, here it is. You know, you gotta be able to access whatever's wanted and needed.
48:26 Lewis Howes? This is interesting that you just said this, you know, just because so many people talk about their relationship, their romantic relationship, as if their boyfriend or girlfriend has a problem. Or that they only, if they could only change, just like you said, or if they would only do this differently or this differently. But really it comes down to Yourself, being able to adapt to what they're doing so that you can connect better. Right?
48:50 Chris Lee? Absolutely. If you're in a relationship and you're not relating to each other, then there's a wall in your relationship. And the only way to tear down the wall is somebody needs to move. And that person is you, if you're the leader, if you choose to be a leader in your life. Now, obviously, someone needs to lead the way.
49:11 Lewis Howes? And obviously, it'd be great if both uh, parties in the relationship understood these principles so that they could both adapt. When one person may not be on or be in their head, the other person can style, flex.
49:24 Chris Lee? But you know what? We, that's, that, that's a, there's a pitfall to what you just said. Because if we're still waiting for the other person, then, then it's never gonna work.
49:32 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
49:32 Chris Lee? So I, I believe in leading by example.
49:35 Lewis Howes? Right.
49:37 Chris Lee? So for example, I'm a controller and as a controller, I'm sorry is not part of my vocabulary.
49:45 Lewis Howes? Right.
49:46 Chris Lee? Because I'm sorry means.
49:48 Lewis Howes? As a promoter or a controller?
49:50 Chris Lee? Controller.
49:50 Lewis Howes? Yeah, cuz I'm always right.
49:51 Chris Lee? Yeah, I just said that.
49:52 Lewis Howes? Yeah, yeah.
49:52 Chris Lee? Controller.
49:53 Lewis Howes? Yeah, yeah.
49:54 Chris Lee? Doesn't say I'm sorry.
49:55 Lewis Howes? Sure.
49:56 Chris Lee? So let's say I'm a controller and I'm with a controller girlfriend. So controller, controller, and no one's sorry. What's gonna happen?
50:06 Lewis Howes? With a lot of conflict.
50:07 Chris Lee? Explosion, explosion. It's called drama. I don't know if you've had that in your relationships. It's called drama. And so the only way that something's gonna be different is if one of you and hopefully the person listening to this podcast that has the tool, takes the first step and go, you know what? I blew it. I'm sorry. An access supporter. And what happens when you do that? You know what? I find that when you lead by example, people follow.
50:39 Lewis Howes? Hmm. But it's really hard.
50:40 Chris Lee? And I've seen that happen.
50:41 Lewis Howes? It's really hard for a controller to do that, though.
50:43 Chris Lee? To own up to their breakdown.
50:45 Lewis Howes? Right?
50:46 Chris Lee? Absolutely.
50:47 Lewis Howes? Wow. But that's what a leader does.
50:48 Chris Lee? A leader does. So if you're in a relationship and you're a controller and you're with somebody else that's either supporter, controller, analyzing, or promoter, you gotta be willing to lead the way.
50:58 Lewis Howes? Wow.
50:59 Chris Lee? You know, so it, it's, it's all about shifting. It's all about. Getting myself out of the box. And I think that part of what we grew up with is the need of certainty. This is who I am, this is who you are, now we know who we are. And I think that that's a mistake because it's limiting. And when I hold myself in a box called, well, that's just the way I am. Then I have no possibility for anything different to happen. That's the way I am, or that's the way things are. Oh, that's just how my mom is. You know, it's amazing, I'll, I'll, I'll share something. I went through this training and, and these seminars and this coaching that, that I'm providing here. And my mom transformed.
51:44 Chris Lee? And my mom didn't go through it. Right. Yet, she did later. And what's amazing was that my mom didn't need to. Because the box I had my mom in called, well, that's the way she is. Never allowed me to connect with her. And so my mom transformed as a result of my transformation. What happened was that I spoke to her on her terms. Once I was able to bridge that gap, then our relationship got better. Wow, interesting. So my mom is controller with controller. Yeah. And I grew up being promoter with promoter. So you can imagine me breaking my word, never bringing the car back on time.
52:28 Chris Lee? Never returning phone calls, you know, just never, you know, just, you know, my mom being a controller would be upside down about that. And so instead of waiting for my mom to change, one thing I realized was I need to be the change I want to see in others. Didn't Gandhi say that? Be the change you want to see in others. So I started showing up responsible, keeping my word, confident with my mom. And from that point.
52:58 Chris Lee? Our relationship shift.
52:59 Lewis Howes? She started to see you in a different way and connect with you in a different way.
53:02 Chris Lee? Cause in her idea, controller is responsible.
53:05 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
53:05 Chris Lee? So all of the responsible.
53:07 Lewis Howes? And their word and on time and all those things. Yeah.
53:09 Chris Lee? Yeah. And, and so it's all about you shifting your characterization of yourself and others.
53:15 Lewis Howes? Right. Very powerful stuff. Now there's, there's a lot of different personality tests out there, right? This is, what's this one called? Is there a specific name for this or?
53:23 Chris Lee? It's called a personality matrix.
53:25 Lewis Howes? And there's like Myers-Briggs, there's a few other ones.
53:27 Chris Lee? There's a lot of them. There's some that are, that, that have to do with, you know, um, emotions and, and processing. There's neuro-linguistic programming. There's a lot of different personality types. I mean, uh, tests.
53:41 Lewis Howes? Tests.
53:41 Chris Lee? But this is something that, that when I heard it, it kind of rang true for me.
53:46 Lewis Howes? Makes sense. Yeah.
53:46 Chris Lee? And it was easy. It's easy to duplicate.
53:48 Lewis Howes? Yeah. I did the Myers-Briggs once, but I always forget like what I am. It's like, I don't know. I always forget it. But this is simple for me. Like I'm a promoter slash controller.
53:57 Chris Lee? Right.
53:58 Lewis Howes? And I can tap into the other stuff, but it's like, I understand it.
54:01 Chris Lee? And also, like I said, it depends on the situation. Sometimes, sometimes you're, you know, I, I've seen powerhouses at work become, you know, these supporters at home.
54:11 Lewis Howes? Puppy dogs.
54:12 Chris Lee? Over their children. And that's not good either. I mean, you gotta, you gotta be able to access. Ideally, you want to be smack in the middle of the four quadrants.
54:22 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
54:23 Chris Lee? And have what's wanted and needed, given the situation.
54:27 Lewis Howes? At any moment. Right?
54:28 Chris Lee? So like in persuasion, when you want to persuade somebody to do something, a controller process is very different than a supporter. And a supporter process is different than an analyzer. An analyzer process is different than a promoter. And a promoter, you know, process is different than a controller.
54:45 Lewis Howes? Hmm.
54:45 Chris Lee? And so if you're going to persuade, like you were talking about the car, persuade a promoter, you gotta connect with their energy and their passion.
54:53 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
54:53 Chris Lee? Whether it's persuade them on a business team or in a relationship or to sell them something.
55:00 Lewis Howes? Hmm.
55:01 Chris Lee? And I think a lot of us are in sales of some sort.
55:04 Lewis Howes? Of course, always.
55:04 Chris Lee? And so to enroll, which is a word. I like to use when you want to enroll, you know, the key to success is building relationship. Yeah. So if I'm the leader, it's up to me to build a relationship with a promoter. And if I go up to a promoter, all analytical and detail oriented. They're not going to be enrolled. Their ADD won't be able to handle it. They'll be bored. They'll be on their phone, they'll be looking at. And you could have the best product analyzer, you could have every guarantee in the world. But even if you give it away for free, the promoter is not buying it. Bored. Yeah. So if you're going to enroll a promoter, you gotta be passionate, excited and outrageous. Yeah. And you had to practice that. And so that's what's going to work with a promoter. Sure, sure.
55:48 Chris Lee? Once you speak their language, then you could give them all the details and you could give them all of the other things that that go along with your own personality. Sure. But you gotta shift that. If you're going to persuade or motivate or inspire promoter, you gotta make it fun for them. Right. So you gotta get them, and since their downside is uh breaking their word, you gotta give them short projects. Sure. It's gotta be a short leash. It's not gonna take a year, it's gonna take. No, no, no, cause they, you know, in a week or a day or, you know, two days or, you know, you gotta give them short, short term goals. Sure, yeah. And analyzer is the opposite. They love long term goals with benchmarks. Five year plan.
56:28 Chris Lee? You know, the plans. And so if you're going to inspire and convince an analyzer, you gotta give them all of the facts. More data, better. Yeah, yeah. You know, the information. If you're going to inspire, motivate and persuade a supporter, you gotta connect with their heart. Sure. If they fall in love with you, they're buying everything. Right, over and over. Absolutely. You know, you look pretty, nice dress. I mean, beautiful day, you're so, I love this. You know, and it's, it's gotta be real. You can't be full of it. But when they feel that you're building a relationship skills with them, then, then they're in. Love it.
57:09 Chris Lee? And say anything with a controller. You want to persuade a controller, you gotta show up powerful and confident and you need to show up credible. You know, it's gotta be clear. It's gotta be to the point and it's gotta be results.
57:21 Lewis Howes? Right, right. Well, we've been almost going for an hour and it feels like 10 minutes.
57:25 Chris Lee? Really?
57:25 Lewis Howes? It's crazy, huh?
57:26 Chris Lee? No way.
57:27 Lewis Howes? I swear, yeah.
57:28 Chris Lee? I could go on for another hour.
57:29 Lewis Howes? I know, I could listen to this and talk about this stuff and dissect it forever. Uh, but I want to make sure that people take this and run with it. And I want you guys to go back to the site. I'm gonna give you the show, the show note link here in a second. Uh, but make sure to go back, leave a comment on this post on lewishouse.com. And tell us what quadrants you're in. We'll have them listed on the show notes so you can refer back to it. How that's been beneficial for you and what was the other thing?
57:57 Chris Lee? Which one is, is challenging for you?
57:59 Lewis Howes? Challenging for you to tap into. So those three things we want you to post in the comment section. Also, you can just tweet at Chris Motivador. I'll have it linked on the show notes as well. You can tell them which one you are. Go ahead.
58:12 Chris Lee? I also have a little trick, like a little tool that you can use so that you know what's missing in any given moment. Are you in?
58:21 Lewis Howes? Let's do it.
58:21 Chris Lee? Alright, so here, all you need to do is write down these four things. Number one, outrageousness. Write down that word, outrageousness. We'll put it in the show notes.
58:34 Chris Lee? Number two, vulnerability.
58:39 Chris Lee? Number three,
58:43 Chris Lee? keep your word.
58:46 Chris Lee? Keep your word. And number four, I matter.
58:54 Lewis Howes? Okay, what was the first one again?
58:58 Chris Lee? Outrageousness.
58:59 Lewis Howes? Outrageousness, vulnerability.
59:01 Chris Lee? Vulnerability.
59:02 Lewis Howes? Keep your word.
59:02 Chris Lee? Keep your word.
59:03 Lewis Howes? I matter.
59:04 Chris Lee? I matter.
59:05 Lewis Howes? Okay, cool.
59:06 Chris Lee? So the first one, outrageousness is for the?
59:09 Lewis Howes? Promoter.
59:10 Chris Lee? The analyzer.
59:11 Lewis Howes? For the analyzer to be outrageous.
59:13 Chris Lee? So like, so in any given moment, you're having a breakdown in your life, look at that list and you'll know which one you need to provide.
59:20 Lewis Howes? Right. And think about being outrageous.
59:22 Chris Lee? So if I'm in a breakdown, I'm looking, okay, I need, I need outrageousness in this moment.
59:26 Lewis Howes? Got you.
59:26 Chris Lee? Okay. So the analyzer needs that reminder. So outrageousness.
59:30 Lewis Howes? Yep.
59:31 Chris Lee? The second one is vulnerability and that's for the controller.
59:34 Lewis Howes? Yep.
59:34 Chris Lee? So if you find yourself locking horns with somebody and you look at that, uh, let me be vulnerable.
59:40 Lewis Howes? Okay. Keep your word would be for the promoter.
59:42 Chris Lee? The promoter. So there's a breakdown with the promoter. It's usually around their word.
59:46 Lewis Howes? Got you.
59:46 Chris Lee? Keeping their word. So a promoter needs that little reminder.
59:50 Lewis Howes? Okay.
59:50 Chris Lee? And then the fourth one is I matter and that would be the supporter.
59:55 Lewis Howes? Wow.
59:55 Chris Lee? Because the supporter forgets their own value.
59:58 Lewis Howes? Their worth.
59:59 Chris Lee? Yes.
1:00:00 Lewis Howes? Powerful stuff. Well, as always, Chris, this is amazing and I think this is probably the best one out of all three so far.
1:00:07 Chris Lee? You always say that. You're a promoter. You always say that. Everyone's the best one. I feel the same way.
1:00:12 Lewis Howes? This is great though. I mean, they're all powerful, but uh, if you haven't listened to the first two, go back and listen to those.
1:00:18 Chris Lee? I also would like feedback on how you've not only which one you are and which one's a challenging, which one's challenging for you, but I like feedback on my Twitter, Arova or at Chris Motivador and also Lewis Howes.
1:00:32 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
1:00:32 Chris Lee? On, on his Twitter, um, on how you apply this.
1:00:36 Lewis Howes? Hmm. Yeah.
1:00:37 Chris Lee? And the results.
1:00:37 Lewis Howes? And your relationships.
1:00:38 Chris Lee? Yeah. Like, like wow, Chris, I applied this with my wife and it's amazing. I shifted. I started reading poetry to her.
1:00:45 Lewis Howes? Hmm.
1:00:46 Chris Lee? And it changed my relationship.
1:00:47 Lewis Howes? Yeah.
1:00:48 Chris Lee? You know, little things like that, little details make the difference. I like to hear about that.
1:00:51 Lewis Howes? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Maybe go today or tonight, whenever you're listening to this, do something differently. Tap into something differently.
1:00:58 Chris Lee? Or make a list of the things you could do.
1:01:00 Lewis Howes? Yes.
1:01:01 Chris Lee? That are out of character.
1:01:02 Lewis Howes? Yeah. And try, uh, tapping into it with one person, someone that matters to you most in your life. Maybe the most important relationship with spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend. And, uh, even if your relationship is already great, tap into that one thing that you know will connect with them on an emotional level or on a level that's reaches. quadrant and see what happens and share with us the results.
1:01:24 Chris Lee? Beautiful.
1:01:24 Lewis Howes? Either on Twitter, in the comments section, anywhere. But again.
1:01:28 Chris Lee? Facebook, I also have a fan page, Chris Lee Motivational Trainer.
1:01:31 Lewis Howes? Chris Lee Motivational Trainer.
1:01:33 Chris Lee? On Facebook.
1:01:33 Lewis Howes? We'll have it all linked up.
1:01:36 Lewis Howes? Chris, thanks so much. This is incredible, great information, valuable information.
1:01:44 Lewis Howes? Let's go into, I've already asked you this twice now, the third time, since it's the question I ask everyone at the end, which is, what's your definition of greatness? So maybe pertaining around this, in terms of relationships, what's your definition of greatness?
1:01:58 Chris Lee? Reinvention.
1:02:00 Lewis Howes? Perfect.
1:02:03 Lewis Howes? Awesome. Well, thanks again, everyone for coming on and Chris, thank you for your wisdom.
1:02:07 Chris Lee? Thank you. It's been great, like always.
1:02:09 Lewis Howes? Yes.
1:02:24 Lewis Howes? Wow, wow, wow. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode on the four different personality types to connect with and how to influence and inspire anyone to move into action. Again, if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends over on Facebook, on Twitter, post a picture on Instagram where you are listening to this episode. Make sure to tag Chris and go back to the show notes over at lewishouse.com/80 to get all the information, all the notes and all the stuff that we talked about in this episode. LewisHowes.com/80. And thanks you guys so much for subscribing on iTunes. I see a lot of people subscribing lately, a lot of people leaving reviews.
1:03:05 Lewis Howes? That helps the rankings on iTunes and it gets the message out there, gets the podcast out there to more people. So if you haven't subscribed yet, please subscribe today and leave a review. I would love to see the reviews you guys have and let me know that you subscribed. Just shoot me a tweet over at Lewis Howes on Twitter. Thanks again, guys, so much for tuning in. I appreciate you for being loyal and avid listeners of the show and ambassadors of the School of Greatness. You guys know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.
1:03:57 Chris Lee? Reinvention. Perfect.
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