Bonus #173 - Live Call Show Vol. 39 [PATREON PREVIEW]

Stavvy’s back talking directly to the fans!! Stav and Eldy give advice LIVE through Discord to the beautiful Patreon members, including a woman who wants to know how to encourage her slampiece/casual hookup buddy to go to therapy, a former military psyop agent who moved to LA for his baby mama but hates it since they broke up and wants to leave, and a guy who’s become closer with his friend’s ex than the friend himself. If you'd like to be a part of future live call episodes, subscribe at www.patreon.com/stavvysworld to get access to the Stavvy's World Discord channel where these live calls are taken. ☎️ Have a question for a regular episode? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  How do you want to split it?

• 0:01Speaker 01

  Actually, dinner's on me.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  Okay, big money.

• 0:03Speaker 01

  Well, I got a Venmo balance that I can spend with my Venmo debit MasterCard, so.

• 0:08Speaker 00

  Well, I Venmo'd you three times last week, so it's kinda on me, actually.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, you send it, I spend it.

• 0:13Speaker 00

  Did my money get reincarnated?

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's chicken shawarma. Want it back?

• 0:18Speaker 00

  I can't believe you ate my Venmo.

• 0:21Speaker 01

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• 0:31Speaker 02

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• 1:30Speaker 03

  I am trying to kind of figure out the best way to convince this guy I'm fucking, my slam piece, if you will,

• 1:39Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:39Speaker 03

  to go to therapy.

• 1:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. Interesting.

• 1:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we're friends. I have no intention of taking us anywhere beyond friends. Like, we're friends and that's enough, and that's good, and we talk.

• 1:52Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  So I don't want to be too, I don't want to overstep my slam piece bounds, number one. Number two, I'm very confrontational and direct. And I think I brought it up once in the past, and it kind of put him on the defensive.

• 2:03Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I get that, so what?

• 2:06Speaker 03

  So that's kind of what I'm rocking with.

• 2:07Stavros Halkias?

  What do you think, what do you think he needs to do? Why do you think he needs therapy? Let's start there.

• 2:15Speaker 03

  Fair. So he's a good guy. He um, he's going through a divorce right now with a woman that he was married to for 10 years.

• 2:21Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so you're a really good friend.

• 2:24Speaker 03

  I'm a what?

• 2:25Stavros Halkias?

  You're a really good friend is what it sounds like. Somebody's getting divorced, you throw him a little pussy, help him get through the whole thing. You know, worrying about his well being. You do see, if only there were more friends like you.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  Listen, here's the thing. I love my friends real, real good. You know, I got good friends and I want to take care of them.

• 2:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  Sometimes with my pussy and that's beautiful.

• 2:48Stavros Halkias?

  That I think is beautiful. Absolutely. That's what community is all about.

• 2:51Speaker 05

  Stop. Are you saying you want me to suck you off?

• 2:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're fucking busted, Eldis.

• 2:57Speaker 05

  Hey, I'm not trying.

• 2:58Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking ugly dude.

• 2:59Speaker 05

  I'm sexy, bro.

• 3:00Stavros Halkias?

  No, no.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  I don't know why y'all are pretending you aren't fucking already. That's crazy.

• 3:05Stavros Halkias?

  No, unfortunately, this is even somehow even more homoerotic. It's so gay, it's transcended physical love.

• 3:14Speaker 03

  That's honestly the most romantic thing I've ever heard. I love that.

• 3:19Stavros Halkias?

  We just, we've, we've been behaving like an old married couple since we were like 22 years old.

• 3:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  Um, okay. So, okay. So he's going through a divorce. So this guy's up against a lot. Here's what you're saying.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  Yeah. So he was like, okay, so just like a quick, you know, run through, he's going through divorce. He's only ever dated really toxic people or women. And uh, he is a veteran and he uh, was abused as a kid and his mom abandoned him. Like there's just, you know, there's a laundry list. And he went to therapy once when he was younger to work through the abuse stuff. And he said, like, it was fine, but not as, didn't think it was that helpful for him.

• 3:59Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 4:00Speaker 03

  Um, but he did take that approach that like, okay, go to therapy when you have something to like, figure out.

• 4:05Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  And like, you don't have to be doing it all the time, which I think is good, but I don't think he's, he's, doesn't see the stuff that he's going through now as like, quote unquote, I guess enough to go to therapy. And I'm like, hey, baby girl, mommy whisper in your ear, please go to therapy, you know?

• 4:20Stavros Halkias?

  You're right. I mean, listen, you're obviously right. And I think it makes sense too, because to him, the bar is like, Of being abused as a child or fucking going to war like this guy has to be fair compared to like a fucked up childhood and you know a fucked up job in your twenties that involves killing innocent Iraqis in some way. I don't know. I don't know how involved he was directly, but being a part of the American war machine that destabilized the whole world. He he's been through a couple of things that are much shittier than a divorce. I'll give him that that it's like he set the bar really high for what deserves to be in therapy for him. But for anybody else,

• 5:03Stavros Halkias?

  you're absolutely right. Like this guy's going through a lot and he I think you're I think basically I'm agreeing with you. Your instincts are correct that he probably would get a lot out of therapy.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think it would be good for him. He also like, you know, he tends to if he's upset, he goes to rage and there are all these like little signs of things that I think could kind of be helped if he if he had someone to talk to. He also does. He does a lot. This is a little bit selfish. He does do a lot of rambling on about stuff that his wife did. And I'm like, baby girl, I'm like, I'm writing you right now. Shut up.

• 5:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you should go to someone to pay. Somebody should be paid to listen to this. I'm giving you a service here right now. So I mean, okay, so this is one of your friends. Is it like, is he part of a larger group of friends? Is there like, you know, is there like power in numbers here and talking to him? Not not obviously not full intervention, but is there like multiple people who can kind of soften the blow? Or are you sort of like his his lifeline here? How you said you've been friends for a while, right?

• 6:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's actually, we actually haven't been friends for that long, but there is a bigger group of friends that I've been friends with for much longer.

• 6:12Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  And I think that's actually, I didn't even think about kind of involving them in that. But, um, yes, there's definitely more people around and people he's known for longer and know him better that could also help.

• 6:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, listen, you've tried the straight. You did the admirable thing and what people who call into the show never do, which is directly communicate. And you tried that and this is obviously a harder. And I think you'll probably have to do that again. But I think you could take this now to the group and be like, hey, people who know him better, like, here's how I feel. I'm worried about him. I think you should go into therapy. Like, what do you guys think? I mean, I think there's nothing wrong. I definitely wouldn't consider that talking behind a friend's back. You guys are all kind of strategizing how to help him. So I think that's a fair place to go and see how people feel about this. Um, in terms of if, if, if it's like something you have to do by yourself.

• 7:06Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, look, yeah, he does a lot of rambling, but I do think the next time he's rambling about something, you could be like, hey, I don't, I don't know how much help I could be. I think this is exactly, this kind of exactly where talking to somebody about your stuff. And even maybe framing it, if he has to have it be temporary, you could even be like, hey, I know you think this isn't a big deal, but you, this like a divorce on top of all the stuff you've already been dealing with is totally, and this will bring up stuff from your past, like anything this emotional can bring up past trauma. Yeah. You could just be like, I think you'd get a lot out of just for the time being, talking to somebody and you know, maybe making him say he'll do it for at least a couple of months and not just give up on it.

• 7:50Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, but um, I think you can bring it up again. Are you worried? What are your, what are you, what are you worried will happen if you just kind of bring it up? You said he just kind of shut himself off the first time?

• 8:03Speaker 03

  It's not so much that I'm worried about bringing it up because again, I'm, I'm pretty confrontational.

• 8:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  It's more like, yeah, it's just, it makes life easier to be honest. Um, but it's more, it's like when I bring it up, it's like, he doesn't really like hear me. Cause I brought it up like a couple of times, sort of casually. And then once like kind of seriously.

• 8:23Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  Um, and um, so I'm more afraid that when I bring it up, it's like not really doing anything. It's not really getting through. Or I'm also afraid, because I really do mean it when I say like, we're friends and that's cool, but like, I don't want to date him. And I also don't want him to think this is me uh, caring too much, I guess. I don't know. I'm usually, I'm very loving with my friends. And so when I do sleep with my friends, which I do more often than I should as a queer, you know? Um, I just, there, there are some lines that I just want to make sure don't get super blurred.

• 9:00Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean.

• 9:01Speaker 05

  I, I have to, I agree with you on that last point. I gotta get a little red pill here. You cannot be the, you cannot be the messenger for this. Um, I think like, yeah, exactly. Because you guys are fucking like, He's going through a divorce. He's fucking you and I'm not saying like, you know, you guys can fuck and still just be friends or whatever, but once you start getting into.

• 9:25Stavros Halkias?

  Do you really think he want, I mean, he's freshly divorced. You think he really thinks? You think he wants to get in a relationship right now?

• 9:32Speaker 05

  I don't think he wants to get in a relationship.

• 9:35Stavros Halkias?

  But he could think she does.

• 9:36Speaker 05

  No, I don't think you do either necessarily. I just think like.

• 9:39Stavros Halkias?

  No, she doesn't, but you think he might think she does. Is that what you're saying?

• 9:43Speaker 05

  Possibly, not even, not even he might think you do. I just think like, if it was me, I would not want to hear that from like someone I'm, I'm like fucking and just trying to get my mind off like my divorce and shit and you know, he's, he's, he's like in a weird time and.

• 10:00Stavros Halkias?

  I guess, I, I, I mean, I know what you're saying, but it's also like, you know, whatever.

• 10:05Speaker 05

  Especially if, if, as you just said a few moments ago, tell me if I'm wrong, but like, you know, there's other people in the friend group who are like closer to him than you are.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, but those pussies don't want to have the conversation. You ever tried to get two straight men? So actually look in the mirror. Uh, you ever tried to get two straight men to have a serious conversation about emotions? It's so hard.

• 10:28Speaker 05

  No, never. And that's why it's awesome.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  Honestly, that's so fair. And I wish I could spend less time thinking about emotions personally.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  I, I feel like if I was him and I started hearing this from you, especially like if it was after we fucked or something, I'd be like, oh God, I do not want to hear about this shit. Talk about it or think about it.

• 10:51Stavros Halkias?

  So I, I kind of see what you're saying because it ma- it's like when I was at my absolute fattest and it's like, as I'm eating a pizza and getting high, people like, you really should go, you should really start exercises. Like, maybe, but this ain't the time. I kind of see what you're saying. Is, does this guy get a certain window of post divorce crashing out he gets to do before he has to go to therapy? Maybe, and maybe you're right, Aldous, in terms of, you know. Luigi has big titties not being the best messenger for it.

• 11:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:22Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so I don't know. I mean, you could, here's the other thing. If you, you kind of have two, there's two paths here, right? Which is like, just kind of go about it as you'd like, right? Uh, keep, keep kind of hooking up and whatever and kind of let it go. Or if you're afraid the lines will get blurred and you really don't want to like, you know, date this person or even, you know, have any kind of truly romantic relationship going forward. Maybe you, you could be like, hey, I don't want you to think I'm trying to like better you. For, you know, I'm not trying to be in a relationship, but I do care about you and I do think you should like get this stuff. You know, taken care of. Maybe it's not the best if we continue like a physical, like you might,

• 12:06Stavros Halkias?

  basically you kind of, you're kind of in no man's land right now where it's like, by being a fuck buddy, you, you, you yourself have said it's kind of blurred the lines of what is and isn't appropriate and what he will and won't listen to. So maybe you just go back to being platonic friends. I don't know if that's, I don't know if taking away pussy is gonna make someone listen to you, but, um, I don't know. I just.

• 12:28Speaker 05

  I think, yeah, I, it won't make him listen to you, but that'll be like the actual wake up call that will register.

• 12:35Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 12:36Speaker 05

  That will make him like,

• 12:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 12:38Speaker 05

  That'll make him sad in a way that he's forced to like look inwards within himself in the way that he is in right now.

• 12:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. Pussy's a salve.

• 12:45Speaker 05

  This, the sex is like an escape right now from him. Um, and you know, there's something about like, you know, when you can like fuck a friend and you just like, you're like, oh, awesome. We're just be, we're just shooting the shit after. No big deal.

• 13:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is hard to pull off if everybody's in a perfect place mentally. Just fucking your friends and it doesn't turn out weird. It's impossible for this to work now with this guy. Actually, the more we're talking about it, the more it's like, you probably shouldn't. Cause really this is appropriate if you don't really care about this guy. You're like, ah, some guy I'm fucking, no strings attached, is going through some shit. But not my problem. I'm just here for the dick. You know what I mean? Like, That's kind of the only appropriate, you are just kind of, I think this just is not a good situation right now. Cause he's probably into much of a, if he won't even listen and you kind of feel like, he's just kind of rambling and doesn't want to listen and that's fair, right?

• 13:43Stavros Halkias?

  He might need that right now, but it's also the worst possible time to try a true friends with benefits situation that actually works out. And maybe that's really the answer is that you are feeling a draw towards being more friend to this person right now. And it's kind of up to you to decide what you want out of this. And what you think, how, how you feel in relation to him and like, you know, whether, cause this isn't going to last forever. So it's like, when does it make sense to cut it off? Yeah. Cause you know, if you're hanging out, he's a cool guy, he's, and you kind of, you fuck him for a little pick me up. That's one thing, but if you have some kind of like chronic thing that's really not going anywhere for either of you, then what is the point?

• 14:27Stavros Halkias?

  As much as I can't believe my advice is sort of stop, stop fucking a guy who's down and out. I think it kind of is. Yeah. Cause you don't want, it seems like you don't want that. It seems like you'd rather be his friend right now.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, I mean, if the option is, um, date one, two, get dick, but emotionally destabilize.

• 14:48Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  Three, be platonic friends. Easy. I'm, I'm number three. And you know, I just, I saw, I actually, I was pretty stressed out and like wanting a lot of stress relief. I just finished, uh, defending my thesis. So I have a PhD now.

• 15:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Congratulations.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  Thank you. Thank you very much. Um, and so now I feel like it is kind of a good, like that sounds a little callous, but I'm like, listen. That, you know, it helped me through a little bit too. I helped him through a little bit. Maybe it's best to kind of.

• 15:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  Shut it down.

• 15:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I think, I think that's definitely, and I mean, this is kind of not really even your question. It's just us talking it through. That just might be what's best for you. It sounds like.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:30Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, I mean, look, and at the end of the day, sometimes with, with shit like this, whether it's, like it's easy to say, whether it's drug addiction or food addiction, or just emotional turmoil, or whatever, when people are in a downward spiral, generally. They do kinda have to come to it on their own terms. There's another thing is like even if you were just purely platonic friend with no blurred lines, he still might not listen. You know what I mean? So it's just like, that's really, you just have to kinda make peace with that. I think decide how you wanna look at the relationship going forward. Sounds like it might be a good time to, you know, uh, go back to platonic. Um, but also it's like,

• 16:12Stavros Halkias?

  uh, fuck, the, um, for, yeah, it's, it's what you need, but it's also like, you know, what is this guy really? What's the posit, like, is he's just gonna figure it out on his own, unfortunately, is the hard part. Especially, I don't know how fresh the divorce is, like, I don't know how, you know, you said he's going through it right now, right?

• 16:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  It's, they've been like slowly going through it, I think, since last summer, but really, truly only since like last December.

• 16:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, it's a, it's a lot. It's, it's a, it's a lot and hopefully he realizes he needs some support, some emotional, psychological support and he goes there because what you're talking about makes sense, but at the end of the day, it's ultimately up to him, unfortunately, and all you can do is kinda be a supportive friend for him. And I, I think you've more than done that. I think you've given him one type of support and now it might be better to like, take a backseat and attempt a different type. That's also just kinda better for you too.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that makes sense. That's true.

• 17:11Stavros Halkias?

  But hey, you gotta search your feelings, you know, and see, see what you're saying makes sense, but that's kinda where it is. It's either like, get strictly into the like purely sex a- aspect of a no strings attached thing, or like kinda go the other way. Cause I do think, like I said, things are just too messy to be able to pull off a hard maneuver like friends with benefits right now.

• 17:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't really think about that. That makes a lot of sense. Cause truly it is friends with benefits is hard already.

• 17:37Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  Do it kinda.

• 17:38Stavros Halkias?

  It never works, by the way. It's like, it works like eight percent of the time.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like I can, it honestly, the easiest way to do friends with benefits or like sleep with your friends is when they like are are married and like Polly or open. Cause then it's like so easy and clear.

• 17:54Stavros Halkias?

  Like I said, an abomination, it never works, only in an abomination situation like my married. And also like, I feel like queer people have a better shot at it than like, you know, purely straight people also. So, you know, you got a couple of things tipping the scales in your direction, I get. But it's also like, that only works because it's a sick system of polyamorous married friends that all suck and fuck each other.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  Right, it's, it only works because it is an abomination under the Lord or what, yeah, true.

• 18:24Stavros Halkias?

  But there you go, sister, we're, you know, I think you, I think we actually did get to the middle, to the meat of the issue here. And it seems like you'll be okay. Listen, your friend will be okay too. It just, he is going through something and he might not even realize what he's going through. And who knows, maybe in a few months with a little more time, he does go into therapy. May, and maybe you can rally the troops. Maybe you can rally the troops to see, to have some kind of mini mental health intervention. I don't know, but yeah. I think really you could just, you just need to decide the best for you and then make peace with your position in this person's life.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  Okay, sweet. Yeah, I agree. I think that that makes a lot of sense. Oh, but also before I go, can I say one more thing?

• 19:02Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  Unrelated, um, so I am fluent in Spanish, but in the way that you're fluent in Greek where it looks like I can't get into like a deep discussion in Spanish because you know, it's just not. But what my friend told me to start doing, um, which I think has been helping and this is gay as hell. So like really lock in with what I'm about to say.

• 19:19Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Um, is reading poetry and translating it because what is deeper and emotional? What is deeper and more emotional than poetry, girl? Nothing.

• 19:30Stavros Halkias?

  Poetry. I don't think I could do, I think I would have a hard time even just getting a poem in, at all. I thought you were gonna say watch children's cartoon programming. Cause that's what one of my friends does. He watches like cartoons in Greek and it actually helps him. So, you know what, I'll, I, I hear your poetry and I might just watch SpongeBob dubbed over in Greek, actually.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  You know what? So true, the same basically when you think about it.

• 19:56Stavros Halkias?

  I'll give it a shot. I'll give it a shot. I'll do one poem for you.

• 20:01Speaker 05

  Do a short little Cavafi poem. You know that Greek poet?

• 20:05Stavros Halkias?

  Huh?

• 20:05Speaker 05

  You know that Greek poet Cavafi or something? What's his fucking name?

• 20:09Stavros Halkias?

  Cavafi?

• 20:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's like-

• 20:11Speaker 03

  My PhD's in chemistry. I got no clue.

• 20:13Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, all good. Oh, I don't know Cavafi. Huh?

• 20:18Speaker 05

  He's got some short ones you could take a stab at?

• 20:20Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. I'm all right. All right. Well, listen, uh, synthesizes some pills the next time we see you and good luck out there.

• 20:28Speaker 03

  Thank you so much. Y'all have a good night.

• 20:29Speaker 05

  Good luck.

• 20:30Stavros Halkias?

  All right, see ya.

• 20:30Speaker 05

  Bye. This guy's gonna go to therapy and be like, "Look, I started therapy now. Could we just fuck again?"

• 20:37Stavros Halkias?

  Can I get some pussy, please? All right, fine. Honestly, not a bad turn. That's fine. I think she would be happy with that.

• 20:42Speaker 05

  That is, everyone wins.

• 20:44Stavros Halkias?

  What a good friend. You know, I could use a couple friends like that.