#173 - David Sims and Griffin Newman

David Sims and Griffin Newman join the podcast to discuss their podcast Blank Check, the history of the Simpsons action figure Stav has on his shelf, the artistry of Robocop 3, encountering Leonardo Dicaprio’s parents at a screening of One Battle After Another, the debut of Stav’s new couch, and much more. David, Griffin and Stav help callers including a woman who fell victim to her husband’s cold sore, and a guy whose wife never does any chores around the house but has awesome H cups. Check out David Sims and Griffin Newman’s podcast Blank Check: https://www.blankcheckpod.com/ Follow Black Check on social media: https://www.instagram.com/blankcheckpod/ https://www.youtube.com/@blankcheckpod https://x.com/blankcheckpod Follow David Sims on social media: https://x.com/davidlsims https://letterboxd.com/davidlsims/ Follow Griffin Newman on social media: https://www.instagram.com/grifflightning/ https://x.com/GriffLightning https://letterboxd.com/grifflightning/ Thanks to our sponsors!! Warby Parker - https://www.warbyparker.com/stavvy get 15% off when you buy 2 or more pairs of prescription sunglasses Hollow Socks - https://hollowsocks.com/ for the Buy 2, Get 2 Free Sale 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome everybody to Stav's World. 904-800-Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We are here with David and Griffin from Blank Check with Griffin and David. Truly my, maybe my, maybe my favorite podcast?

• 0:17Speaker 01

  What?

• 0:18Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe my favorite podcast.

• 0:19Speaker 01

  That's insane. That's actually a bad opinion. You can just say favorite movie podcast. Even that'd be nice. I would have tentatively accepted that.

• 0:25Stavros Halkias?

  I used to not watch, I used to, it would just be sports and movies. And now even sports is falling away from my life because I, just because I'm so busy, I can't keep.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  You're on the road, you can't, yeah.

• 0:38Stavros Halkias?

  Like it kind of feels like, it feels like I'm hearing somebody describe like their kids that I don't know. When they're talking about like, like the last couple of drafts, I've been completely out of it. You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm squarely like, sort of like up until 21, 22, I was so hoop-stuck.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  You knew everyone on every team. I went to a Nets game recently and they play children, like their team is children.

• 1:01Stavros Halkias?

  I know. The Nets just drafted like, yeah, it's all, they had like five draft picks.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so I know, and I was like, I don't know any of these guys. They have a guy called Wolf. And when he hits a three, they go like, ooh.

• 1:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's fun. It's so funny.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  It's kind of fun.

• 1:14Stavros Halkias?

  Well, the Nets are just trying anything to be a team. They're so fake. They're such a fake team.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  It's really fake in there.

• 1:20Stavros Halkias?

  I like going, I'll take, listen, if you got tickets to spare, I'll take them. But let's be honest with what's going on culturally. It's impossible.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  I went to see Wemby. I was not there to see the Nets.

• 1:30Stavros Halkias?

  The Nets are there if you, if, if you cannot get the Knicks ticket when the traveling guy, like I've seen Giannis play the Nets a lot.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 1:38Stavros Halkias?

  You know, like I've seen, when there was like people I really wanted to see, um, that's what it's, and listen, stadiums or the arena's great.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  Totally nice.

• 1:45Stavros Halkias?

  Food's great. It's a good experience.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  I can walk there from my house. It's great.

• 1:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's huge. But yes, it's, I, I have, I do. There was definitely, I will say this, there was a period in my life where I was going through a very dark moment. And here's, you know, I was thinking about this when I did your guys' pod, where I was like, how did I start listening? I gave you, I couldn't remember and I kind of made something up, you know? But what happened was-

• 2:08Speaker 02

  You did say it was a dark moment, and then you made up a fake dark moment to fill in the gap?

• 2:12Stavros Halkias?

  But how I got to you, because it was a dark moment, it was one of those moments where you can't be with your thoughts. So you need an evergreen podcast-

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Just shattering your head, two idiots.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  I call those all the time moments, for me. Those are just called drift moments.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  That's like me, where like, do you ever do the thing where like, I gotta walk down the stairs right now? I think I need to listen to a podcast while I do that, because I'm so sick.

• 2:34Stavros Halkias?

  I have to fold eight shirts. God forbid I think of something while I'm doing it.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  Goes all the way down to, I have to wash my hands. I think I gotta queue up a podcast to do that.

• 2:42Stavros Halkias?

  It gets really pathetic, but you know what it was, and this is actually even funnier. I was going through a dark moment, and I have a few movies that I see as sort of like reboot myself, when I wanna, I'm actually saving Creed 2-

• 2:57Speaker 01

  Center myself, right.

• 2:57Stavros Halkias?

  Because I haven't even earned, that's the highest level of reboot movie. When I, I'm sorry, the first Creed, not Creed 2, Creed, the original Creed, but that's like a, uh, because to me, that's like when I'm ready to really get my life in order, when I've cleared everything out, I'm watching Creed every day and getting fuck, you know, like I'm not even-

• 3:16Speaker 02

  It's motivating you to be like him and find yourself.

• 3:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. I have to be in PT so I can lift real weights, so I'll probably do steroids or something, or like peptides. Like I'm gonna, I'm gonna really, whatever kind of crazy rich person, like medicine to make you young, I'm doing it, right? Whatever it is, I don't know yet.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  That one tech guy's son's blood, right?

• 3:38Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, that tech guy's son's dick blood.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all need to-

• 3:43Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna throw a leash on Brian Johnson's teenage son's penis, and I'm gonna, and I'm gonna put that blood right into my veins, I'm gonna watch Creed.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  How incredible will it be if Brian Johnson's like, guys, you all made fun of me, but it turns out it is the cure for everything. My son's dick blood is-

• 4:02Stavros Halkias?

  I guess he didn't explicitly take his son's dick blood, but he did measure his dick against his son's hard dick.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  I also always.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  It was like number of erections a day or whatever.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  I always jump to the same thing. I always describe it as his son's dick blood specifically.

• 4:17Stavros Halkias?

  But I'm doing any of that and I'm getting on, so.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  And you get to watch Creed. Usually have seen Creed.

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  But, but you're now you're like.

• 4:25Stavros Halkias?

  But now I'm like, it's so powerful. It's like Heat is a celebratory movie that after we filmed my special in Austin, we watched, we did mushrooms, had a barbecue and coming down, we watched Heat.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  Cause Heat's a little sad in the perfect way. It's good for, good as a come down movie.

• 4:40Stavros Halkias?

  Kind of is a nice melancholy.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Kind of melancholy, right.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  The tragic tale of Wangro.

• 4:43Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  It's sad for you because Wangro doesn't make it. You're rooting for Wangro the whole time.

• 4:49Stavros Halkias?

  I really, I'm, I'm very haircut forward when it comes to who, when it comes to who I identify with in a movie.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:57Stavros Halkias?

  But, and so a lesser, a lower level Creed reboot movie for me is Dark Knight, or no, I'm sorry, the original.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  Batman Begins.

• 5:06Stavros Halkias?

  Batman Begins is my favorite.

• 5:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:09Stavros Halkias?

  And I watched it as like a, I'm beginning like Batman. You know what I mean? It was like, when I got so fucking fat, I was like, I moved to Baltimore for a year just to like walk around, eat turkey burgers and walk around. That was like my rehab.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  Um, and so I spent like, and then I got Begonia and I had to leave Baltimore because I was like, what? This is crazy.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 5:30Stavros Halkias?

  But I still spent like six months.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  You were like, I can't be a movie actor who lives in Baltimore or like you just.

• 5:35Stavros Halkias?

  It was like, I told my agents, I was like, I am not doing anything this year. Don't, unless it's like, and I gave them a list that was hilarious. It was like Scorsese, you know what I mean? Like, like shit, literally, it was mainly like to, to say, stop emailing me with, you know.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  Like random offers.

• 5:51Stavros Halkias?

  The roles of like a fat guy who like, you know, shits his pants in act two or whatever to set up the hot people. You know what I mean?

• 5:57Speaker 02

  If you make it all the way to act two though, that's not bad.

• 5:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  If it's not the inciting incident, but you, you literally were like, I'm not getting off this couch unless I have five scenes in a movie directed by an Academy Award nominee. Me in like a Plemons, like kind of someone who's the best actor of the generation.

• 6:13Stavros Halkias?

  Higher than what I was pitching them because I didn't even fathom this being something.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:17Stavros Halkias?

  So I got that and it was obviously like, oh, well, this doesn't count. I have to do this.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 6:23Stavros Halkias?

  But there was like, like six months where I was really fat as shit. I mean, I weighed like. Seventy pounds more than I do now. Fucking, all I could do was walk gingerly. And honestly, and I watched Batman Begins and I watched every movie. I literally loved that movie so much and it was hitting just right. That I searched every movie podcast that has ever covered Batman Begins.

• 6:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 6:46Stavros Halkias?

  And that's, that was actually how I got.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  It's a real, it's also a really good episode of ours.

• 6:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's a great, it was. We were really punchy.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  We're really, right, we're being silly. We talk about how Mark Boone Jr. Looks like he sleeps in a pizza.

• 6:57Stavros Halkias?

  One of your best lines ever.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cause he's just so greasy.

• 7:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. That's, that's a role I definitely could play.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. You could walk into that role.

• 7:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  The guy who Batman is like, you represent Gotham's corruption.

• 7:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Like, at the lowest level.

• 7:12Stavros Halkias?

  No, I see that guy and I'm like, come on, man. This, they, when, when they come up with this one for the fucking, uh, Pattinson. But they got it, they need a guy like this for Pattinson.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:21Stavros Halkias?

  Let me be him.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Pattinson needs to, right, interact with more scum.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  That is interesting, cause the Pattinson one has a lot of.

• 7:28Stavros Halkias?

  It's kinda like criminals.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Classy gangsters.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  And it has a lot of corrupt politicians.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  But the pizza cop is an important.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  I hate the pizza cop.

• 7:37Stavros Halkias?

  Low level corruption.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that guy. That guy's in Memento too. He's the guy who rents him multiple rooms in the motel. Cause he's like, you don't have a memory, bro.

• 7:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  I just keep renting you new rooms.

• 7:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome. I loved, I will say about the Pattinson Batman, I really loved it until they had to make it clear that the Riddler was bad. Cause until he just does terrorism straight up.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:03Stavros Halkias?

  He's kind of completely correct. That's what I like in that movie. He's completely correct where he's like, he's killing the right people.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, all the politicians are bad, they're all corrupt. He's putting in the papers, basically.

• 8:12Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, until they get like the, the, once he like, you know, goes like snipe, goes Columbine at MSG on, on their fake AOC.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  On fake AOC.

• 8:22Stavros Halkias?

  They made like eight things to be like, this is the bad guy, by the way.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:25Stavros Halkias?

  Cause he seems too fucking awesome and reasonable. And you almost get the sense of Pattinson, when he's, when he, when Batman is talking to him.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:32Stavros Halkias?

  If he's just like, love what you're doing, bro, but we gotta dial it back. Like, there was a moment where the Riddler wants to be friends with him and he's like, listen.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  Don't kill the Wayne family. I think I got a mole inside. We can deal with them. Especially because the Riddler reads him and is like, I get the sense that you also hate Bruce Wayne. You've got some weird. Anytime I bring up Bruce Wayne, you get kind of touchy. We can bond on this.

• 8:54Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  That movie annoys me because I should love it. Ninety percent of it, I'm like rock and roll. It like looks so good. I think Pattinson's great in it. Even like the whole.

• 9:04Stavros Halkias?

  Zoe Kravitz is out of control.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  She's a babe, like. It's the second hottest time she's ever played. It's got Colin Farrell doing Italian. She's also the voice of Catwoman in the Lego Batman movie.

• 9:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, of course. Oh, that's what makes your dick hard. I could see you as a guy who's jacked off to Legos, Griffin.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  Not yet.

• 9:22Stavros Halkias?

  You've definitely jacked off to an action figure.

• 9:26Stavros Halkias?

  No, you haven't.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. He held up a finger, which.

• 9:31Stavros Halkias?

  You love action figures too much.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  You can read anything you want into a finger. I just held it up. I'm sure it's come up, but you have the psychiatrist, the child psychiatrist of The Simpsons action figure? You were, you were in the bathroom in Simpsons. I gotta see what the Simpsons figure is. And I said, that is historically one of the worst selling action figures of all time. I've been in this game long enough and charting things. That thing was a pox on store shelves.

• 9:53Stavros Halkias?

  Of course it was.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  For like five, six years.

• 9:55Stavros Halkias?

  Who would want the psycho? I got it because it was stupid.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:58Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's the psychiatrist. And if I'm being completely honest, I thought it was, um, what's his face? Uh, um.

• 10:07Speaker 02

  Marvin Monroe?

• 10:08Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, Lisa, the, that's not the.

• 10:10Speaker 02

  Oh, Lisa's substitute.

• 10:10Stavros Halkias?

  Lisa's substitute.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Dustin Hoffman.

• 10:12Stavros Halkias?

  Played by Dustin Hoffman. I thought, I just like looking at it really quickly. I was like, oh, that must be him. And then I realized what I had bought. I was, so I was a little pissed. Because the Dustin Hoffman one is kind of touching.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:23Stavros Halkias?

  And it's a, it's an episode that stuck with me.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  That's my favorite episode. Can I nerd out for like thirty seconds?

• 10:28Stavros Halkias?

  Please, please.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  So these, these.

• 10:29Stavros Halkias?

  Elvis, go ahead and grab this. Grab the thing for us. So we, so we show the audience.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Brad Goodman. So everyone can see Brad Goodman. And it's Albert Brooks, right? It's like the, one of the Albert Brooks. But it is like of all the Albert Brooks characters, it is far and away the least known, the least popular, the least loved. And he's also visually so unappealing.

• 10:46Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  He is just a guy in a sweater. So these action figures talked, right? They had like.

• 10:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 10:52Speaker 02

  State of the art microchips in their feet. And then if you plug them into an environment, like on the back, you can see the retirement home.

• 10:59Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  Place he was never in.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  He has lines. He works at the DMV, the Retirement Castle in Main Street.

• 11:05Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Oh, so you could build like a town. You could. Right. And when they started making these, they had a deal with all the main voice cast. And immediately people are like, make Troy McClure. And they're like, we don't have a deal with the Hartman estate. We can't do any of the guest stars. So they worked really hard to build a separate deal structure for the guest stars and put them in their own guest star only series.

• 11:26Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  And they had an Albert Brooks deal, so they were like, all the Albert Brooks characters are on the table. They made a Phil Hartman deal. This series was supposed to have Rabbi Kristofsky, Jackie Mason himself.

• 11:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  And he pulled out at the last second because he thought it was offensive to Judaism to make a Rabbi action figure with a plastic Torah. So they had to overproduce this guy.

• 11:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, to fill in the gap.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  To fill in the gap.

• 11:52Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  And they were just like, I don't know, maybe we just flood the shelves, people buy it. Sad kid got handed this. No. No, yeah, yeah. This was like, every store had hundreds of him and no other characters. Right, like even like disaffected deadbeat parents were like, I don't think this is it. Right, because the rest of the lineup, Troy McClure.

• 12:11Stavros Halkias?

  Banger.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Herb Powell, Danny DeVito.

• 12:14Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Herb, that's a good one.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  He's in a couple of episodes.

• 12:16Stavros Halkias?

  But he just looks like Homer.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  He just looks like Homer with hair. He's skinny Homer, but DeVito voice. Sure. Joe Montegna, Fat Tony. One of the greatest. Phil Hartman, Lionel Hutz. We're like, we're dealing with like all stars. And then of course, Albert Brooks is Brad Goodman. Why not do, I don't know, Hank Scorpio? They did get around to it.

• 12:33Stavros Halkias?

  They got it.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  But that was the big mistake is they put this first.

• 12:36Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, alright.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  So that's, that's the kind of lore I got in there. And now no one remembers that you asked me about masturbating to action figures. Putting an action figure near him.

• 12:44Stavros Halkias?

  It's my fault for putting an action figure around Griffin. That is 100%.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  I'm keeping my hands up.

• 12:50Stavros Halkias?

  I love, when was your fir-, what was the, was there an action figure you were like, oh fuck, I need this fucking thing? When you were like four?

• 12:57Speaker 02

  Oh, what's like-

• 12:58Stavros Halkias?

  Is there one that really, because you're a big, I mean, you're, you love movies, you love action figures, comics, all this kind of fucking dork bullshit?

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  I got, I got no rebuttal today.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  Part of me being on this was like, I'm the cool one when it comes to this stuff. Even though I also had action figures and read comic books, but there's.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  Also, the magic of our podcast is we throw Hozley in there and he's actual.

• 13:22Speaker 01

  He's actually right, got in trouble and went outside and stuff.

• 13:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  He like touched grass, literally.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  He like had a bike he used.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  It wasn't like the first one, but one that I was hyper fixated on, finally got was Small Soldiers was a movie I was obsessed with.

• 13:36Stavros Halkias?

  Huge dude.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  And Brick Bazooka is the, um, I think it's the George Kennedy character.

• 13:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  He's sort of the blonde guy, but that was.

• 13:44Stavros Halkias?

  I loved, that was a, I loved that movie and furthermore, I believe Burger King created the Western cheeseburger.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Correct.

• 13:50Stavros Halkias?

  As a tie in for that, the rodeo burger.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  The rodeo burger with the barbecue sauce and the onion rings.

• 13:54Stavros Halkias?

  And I remember both seeing that movie and that might be the, the, the fast food tie in.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  Was it Borgnine or George Kennedy who's Brick Bazooka?

• 14:03Stavros Halkias?

  That I remember the most.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Oh, I'll get there.

• 14:04Stavros Halkias?

  There was also, there was also the, the Batman forever. The Batman forever cups.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  The cups, so good.

• 14:10Stavros Halkias?

  The cups are classic.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:11Stavros Halkias?

  My mom still might have the Mr. Freeze somewhere in her fucking house.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:15Stavros Halkias?

  Those are fucking awesome, but those are the ones I remember. And by the way, I fucking love the Batman, the Batmans that, uh.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  The Schumacher Batmans?

• 14:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Joel Schumacher, just made by an insane gay guy.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course. Those rock.

• 14:26Stavros Halkias?

  Who loves fucking, she's over the top shit, the nipple suits. It's awesome.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  We, we talk about this a lot because we've covered all the Batman movies at this point, one way or another.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  One way or another.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  And, uh, at the time, it was like the sentiment of like, but Batman had so many other things and they keep doing this cartoony bullshit.

• 14:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  When's someone gonna take Batman seriously?

• 14:45Speaker 01

  When's, give him integrity.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  When Batman Begins comes out, it's Hooten and Holler and we did it. He's, he's a real human being.

• 14:51Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  Crime is scary. And now just every day we're like, can someone make a dumb Batman movie?

• 14:57Speaker 01

  And they're like, no, make it darker. Like literally you can't even see how dark it is.

• 15:01Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, they're doing the Superman shit, the superhero shit.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:05Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, the broth is fucking thin.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  Really?

• 15:08Stavros Halkias?

  They have fucking chopped all the meat off. Now they're boiling the fucking bones. They boiled them eight times.

• 15:13Speaker 02

  It's literal rock soup.

• 15:15Stavros Halkias?

  We need to have fucking cartoons of everything.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:18Stavros Halkias?

  Everything gets a funny cartoon like DC is just doing it's like enough with this bullshit. And I do, I do hope it's fucking, it's over.

• 15:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  I think it's mildly over.

• 15:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Like we'll still get a couple a year, but it's not.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  It feels like it being the dominant.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  The thing that like grownups have to talk about.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Fully over. It's not totally disappearing.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  No, but I mean, last year they were like Superman and Fantastic Four and people were like, yeah, those are for teenagers.

• 15:43Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, yeah, that's gonna be the way like, there was like, they kept making westerns, but nobody gave a fuck. Like if superhero shit feels like the westerns for us, cause like you go back to the fucking, you look at the movies that were made in like the fucking forties, fifties, sixties, like a lot of fucking westerns.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  A lot of westerns.

• 15:59Stavros Halkias?

  And then it became the thing where like, what will happen in like 40 years is someone will make like an unforgiven. You know what I mean?

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, a hundred percent.

• 16:07Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, and we, the superhero movies are never gone. Yeah, they're never gone.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 16:12Stavros Halkias?

  But I hope they're fucking done with this bullshit. It's like, yeah, let's get some guns.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  What it's like 70 year old hemp.

• 16:17Stavros Halkias?

  Can we get some fucking guns in movies?

• 16:19Speaker 02

  Get some guns in there.

• 16:20Stavros Halkias?

  Where it doesn't bounce off a guy.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  But on the other hand, I don't want serious people shooting guns at Batman anymore.

• 16:26Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 16:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love, I should be able to shoot a gun at Batman.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 16:31Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Oh, fuck.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  I feel like again, we should.

• 16:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, it's a fucking bat. Oh shit, I'm fucking getting out of there. I'm at a strip club, you know, I got titties and cake in my mouth. Let's really make it slapstick.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  I do love that one first guy in every Superman movie. Yes, but I'm gonna fuck this guy. Let's see what happens.

• 16:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  He's a man.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  He's right here.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  He can shoot bullets at his skin. That's how this works.

• 16:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  I don't think I'm like just gonna represent how strong he is. That's not why I'm here. I think I can get this guy.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  I won't be made to look the fool.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  I can take him down.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  No example.

• 17:08Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but yeah, so that's my hope. Anyway, I don't know. I'm done with that. I'm so fucking.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  What was your favorite movie of last year?

• 17:14Stavros Halkias?

  Of last year? I mean, non-begonia.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  Non-begonia.

• 17:18Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you put me in a real movie, I'm gonna say, and I really do think, by the way, Plemons was, and, and we should say, programming note, folks, this is after the Oscars.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  Right, this is the Oscars.

• 17:27Stavros Halkias?

  This is the Oscar recap show, but the Oscars have not actually happened for us.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  We're time capsule-ing our predictions.

• 17:33Stavros Halkias?

  So actually, we're coming off of begonia, sweeping everything.

• 17:37Speaker 02

  Every category.

• 17:38Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, every, came out of nowhere, they actually wrote in Jesse Plemons.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Plemons actually won.

• 17:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's the first ever write-in.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  They were like, "Sit down, Ollie, where's Plemons?"

• 17:46Stavros Halkias?

  Which he did get robbed, I think he should have won.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  The reason he didn't get in that category is cause it's the most insanely stacked, like, it's just, and like, I'm not saying he shouldn't have gotten in, but I'm just like, the competition is crazy.

• 17:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking bull, look, look.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Alright, who, come on, then, who do you want out?

• 18:01Stavros Halkias?

  Blue Moon was fun. Blue Moon was fun.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:04Stavros Halkias?

  Ethan Hawke gives a good performance. Ethan Hawke, one of the most legendary pussy-getters of all time.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  It's true.

• 18:09Stavros Halkias?

  Right?

• 18:10Speaker 02

  Hall of Fame sick man.

• 18:11Stavros Halkias?

  There was a period in Hollywood, like, there's that hilarious, um, Matt Damon anecdote, where he was saying, like, there was a moment in Hollywood when every leading man, everybody's in the same auditions, and then they would see Ethan Hawke come out of the room, and they'd be like, "Fuck, lost that one." Like, Matt Damon was, he was the boogeyman to Matt Damon, right? He, he, he was like, he, uh, married Uma Thurman, cheated on her. That's how much pussy this guy got, and he gets an Oscar for playing a 5'3" guy who can't get pussy? That's what he, that's what we're fucking rewarding him for. It's like, and I know it was good, but, but, it's fucked up number one.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:48Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Isn't there a 5'3" bisexual that could have actually played that role?

• 18:52Speaker 02

  The answer is Oscar.

• 18:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, now we're talking about, now we're talking about representation, but all of a sudden, it doesn't matter if a 5'3", oh, a 5'3" fucking theater-obsessed bisexual, who, who has a complicated relationship with hot women, but fucks a lot of guys, you don't think we could find an actor that fucking, that it's balding and 5'3" that could have played that?

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Stobby, you find an actor who does that, what are the chances that they also understand depression?

• 19:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  That's the real question.

• 19:20Stavros Halkias?

  Right, I mean, it's an acting challenge because Ethan Hawke's like, what would it be like to play a fucking loser? It's like, he can't even fathom what a fucking loser this guy is. Thinking about it. And they even said that, yeah, they wanted to do the movie for 20 years. Yeah, the LinkedIn would still be like, you're still too hot. You're still too hot. Yeah, no thank you. And it's like, and, and, and they're, oh, that's the one where I'm like, great movie. He's, Ethan Hawke got nominated because he's the man. Because everybody loves him. He's the man. He's the man. It had been a made a fuck out of here. And that's no disrespect, he's a legend, I love that guy. That's so funny though. But get the fuck out of here. That's Plemons spot, and by the way, I think he should have fucking won. My favorite movie, to answer your question though, sorry. Yeah. Uh, probably The Secret Agent. That's so fucking good. It is so good. Yeah.

• 20:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's so good, it's cast so well, uh, it does, like, you know, it, you want to talk about real faces. I was about to say, that has the most bias. That felt like a documentary in the way that's like, and, and a time, you know, I mean, Marty Supreme incredible, like, I, I, a little, a little, I've gotten distance from them because I think my favorite movies this year were Marty Supreme and One Battle because, because of the experience of seeing those movies where it's like, going to One Battle, opening, it was one of those where I was like, I don't need to know anything. And I don't want to know anything. PTA, Leo, sign me the fuck up. I'm going first day, I'm going IMAX, big, the biggest fucking IMAX, right? That experience of getting out of there, you're, you're like, holy fuck.

• 20:48Stavros Halkias?

  I just watched a Hollywood epic. Yeah. That they don't, it's a, because it really, it's a fucking melodrama, it's an old fashioned movie. It's some shit that could have been made in the 30s as far as I'm concerned, where it's like, a fucking, uh, high stakes, family melodrama, right? Intergenerational. It's a movie movie. It kind of has every genre in it at the same time. Totally, totally. And so you, you leave that and you're fucking buzzing and you're like, holy fuck, movies exist, they're awesome, they're real. And then Marty Supreme for me is just like, I know, I just, I can't even be biased.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  That's your language.

• 21:19Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's like.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  It's your love language.

• 21:21Stavros Halkias?

  Um, that's me, dude. Me in my twenties was a piece of shit with a stupid dream.

• 21:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:25Stavros Halkias?

  And I thought it was more important than everyone in my life, and I was wrong.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:29Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm, by the way, I'm paying for it. I, there's no, there, there was, there's no like, eh, eh, like I, Marty Supreme to me was so, I'm Marty Supreme without the sort of spoilers, obviously, but like, you know, so if you haven't seen it, you know, fuck you, I'm giving you an extra long spoilers break, because that's the kind of fucking good guy I am. I'm vamping for almost a full minute for you, you fucking piece of shit. I'll just flash something on the screen that says spoilers about to begin.

• 21:57Stavros Halkias?

  He has the mo, like, I didn't even buy that he would give a fuck about his kid. Because me in the tw, in my tw, if I, when I was twenty five.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  Kid, you're like, okay, well.

• 22:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my life's fucking over. I just, I have to go to fucking New York.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  That's what the movie is.

• 22:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's what I mean. My third.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  Out of love, but also because he knows his life is completely changing.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  The ending is so interesting for that reason, because the one inarguable thing is that this is something emotionally he is not equipped to contend with.

• 22:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  He is realizing how bullshit his life has been up until this moment.

• 22:27Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  And I like there being a kind of ambiguity to like, how does he fucking react to this?

• 22:32Stavros Halkias?

  Well.

• 22:32Speaker 02

  Who is he tomorrow?

• 22:33Stavros Halkias?

  I think you're right, and I think that's probably the best sort of, uh, general read, like, covers the most basis reading of the movie. But I also think seeing it a third ti, like, the first two times didn't even, the kid didn't fucking matter to me at all. I, it didn't.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  You're like, when's he gonna stake O'Leary? When's he getting Mr. Wonderful?

• 22:53Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  Movie in Japan.

• 22:54Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking Kodo, now it's time to fuck up O'Leary. Like, in my head, I'm like, yeah, but, but no, like.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  You're still not reckoning with like, oh, table tennis didn't become the Super Bowl?

• 23:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he doesn't win. Um, but I will say the third time I was like. No, this is pow, like, also, it's like, this is hollow, I'm at thirty seven, I'm thirty seven now, I'm not, you know, Marty's age is like twenty five, whatever, and it's like, I'm realizing now, fuck, I've gave too much of that shit over, and I think in a lot of ways, he was saved in being able to be a complete person, where he gets the victory that's emotional and important to him, which even in an exhibition, beating Kodo is what fucking matters to him, and to me, that's the moment I cried. I did not give, again, didn't cry when the fucking baby comes out, but when he beats fucking Kodo, I'm like, fuck it. Fuck dude, that fucking piece of shit won't let him in the tournament, you know what I mean?

• 23:45Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I'm so mad at that little fucking Indian guy, to me, he's as evil as Sean Penn.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  You know, he wanted Gordon Ramsay to play that guy, that was his original idea, but then he found that guy, exactly, and he was like, this is way better.

• 23:56Stavros Halkias?

  This, he was way better, yeah, and he was just, like, I was looking this guy up, and he's just like an all, again, shout out to fucking Jen Vendetti, like, she's the fucking, I mean, Safeties, and they've always found incredible people. Um, so those movies, to me, were like, just the most, just appealed to me for one battle, almost like, general movie, this is spectacle, I would love that we're still making these.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  Movies are real, that's how to put it.

• 24:22Stavros Halkias?

  And then one, Marty is just like, this just is so me, it just feels like being in my twenties.

• 24:26Speaker 02

  But also seeing that kind of like, a filmmaking sensibility, a movement, a kind of collective collaborators, who have been contemporaneous with us, level up to epic level?

• 24:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, it's nice to see them, like, exactly, because without even knowing it, like, because again, I cut movies for me, it's like, I watched some as a kid, but it was like, I didn't really track directors, it wasn't sports for me, you know what I mean? And the Safeties, without even meaning to, I was kind of organically on board with their career from, you know, starting with, um, I mean, uh, when somebody showed me Good Time, and then it's like, uncut, and then the guys that made that, got something going with Sandman, of course I'm fucking listening, and then both, I mean, I, I, I even really liked, I mean, Smashing Machine got fucked, like, ticket wise, I fucking loved it.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  We all like that movie.

• 25:19Stavros Halkias?

  I thought it was fucking awesome.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:21Stavros Halkias?

  So it was, it was cool to, yeah, from that level too. It was cool that it's like, oh, these motherfuckers keep making awesome shit. Um, but yeah, but having said all that, after seeing a lot of them, and to be fair, I still have to see, I, I still haven't seen, uh, it was just an accident. I actually bought it.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  I think you'll like that.

• 25:38Stavros Halkias?

  But was way too stoned to, I was like, this deserves, I was like, this deserves me listening. And then I watched Robocop three instead. And I gotta say, Robocop three is awesome.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Stavi, I agree with you.

• 25:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's just, it's crazy.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Griff is very anti two, but pro three.

• 25:51Stavros Halkias?

  Well, two's fine too, though.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  Can we?

• 25:53Speaker 01

  You can say, yeah, we're gonna do it on our podcast this year.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  The Robocop series on our Patreon.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  On our Patreon.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  Robocop, basically my favorite movie of all time.

• 26:00Stavros Halkias?

  I might have to get in the mix over that.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  Welcome. Cause I might need a little support in the defense of three.

• 26:05Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, if you want, if you wanna cook the books, if you wanna put, if you wanna, if you wanna stack the deck, I loved it. So I would love to be, but even two, two might be interesting though, cause I love two as well.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  Griff doesn't like two.

• 26:17Stavros Halkias?

  Three's better.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  I'll give you my, my analogy. You've never seen.

• 26:19Stavros Halkias?

  The rankings are one, three, two.

• 26:20Speaker 01

  I've never seen the sequels. I've seen the original.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  And you've never seen the remake.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  And I've certainly never seen the remake.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I think Hoss is the same way. And the first one is so sacred to me.

• 26:28Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Well, the first one is like.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  I've probably seen bits of the sequels on TV or whatever, cause they were always on cable or whatever. Yeah.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  And I, I hold the original in such esteem that it's the only thing that I was like this about where I was like, I actually refuse to watch the sequels.

• 26:41Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  Cause I wanna retain the purity. I'm usually such a completist piece of shit.

• 26:46Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  And finally, I think, I can't remember if it was in lockdown where I was like, fuck it, I'm watching them.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  And I watched two and I was like, this is just kinda worse Robocop. And it bums me out.

• 26:58Speaker 01

  He's like, Robocop, he shoots people, right? I'm a little less precious about it.

• 27:03Stavros Halkias?

  Robocop's so good that, uh, a shitty retread of it is still like a B minus.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:09Stavros Halkias?

  Like it still goes down smooth.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  He doesn't like that Robocop's like back to being a Robocop.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  That's what I don't like.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 27:14Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, it does.

• 27:15Speaker 01

  The victory's gone.

• 27:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Cause at the end, Robocop, he's like, what's your name, son? Murphy. It's like, really? I'm Murphy. And then yes, Robocop two just sort of.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Helmet's back on, his name's Robocop, he's shooting people.

• 27:27Stavros Halkias?

  All over again.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:28Stavros Halkias?

  And yes, the, uh, now Tom Noonan's awesome.

• 27:32Speaker 02

  Noonan's incredible.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  Cause he's the villain, right?

• 27:34Stavros Halkias?

  But he's, but even the rest of the, I would say the.

• 27:37Speaker 02

  I don't like the rest of the gang. I don't like the kid. Kane, everything with Kane is great.

• 27:41Speaker 01

  Who's the villain in three?

• 27:42Stavros Halkias?

  Three, oh, three's kinda awesome because it's like now, now it's bringing globalism in the mix.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  This is the one Frank Miller kinda worked on, right?

• 27:50Speaker 02

  He worked on, so he wrote a script for two.

• 27:52Stavros Halkias?

  He wrote the script for two.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Then they like scrapped and used pieces of what he wrote for both two and three.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, alright, alright.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, so you can read, they've made a comic of his original script.

• 28:02Stavros Halkias?

  Three is much more interesting.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  And Frank Miller, I don't think his thing was perfect, but like, he had a little bit of the Verhoeven humor, which I think two can't totally dial in. Commercials in two are good.

• 28:12Stavros Halkias?

  But even, even then, the commercials in two, we don't have to get it, like, this is so fucking funny.

• 28:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:17Stavros Halkias?

  Where we're just like getting into the minutia of Robocop 2.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  I just watched the Psycho sequels. You ever seen the Psycho sequels?

• 28:23Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  They're weird.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  The thing for me with three, having just watched it, right, is like, everyone's like, that one's, but it's PG-13 and it's like kid shit.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  You don't feel it though.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  And it's not even Peter Weller, and I'm like, at this point, if we're watering down Robocop, I'd rather water it, water it all the way down to the dumbest bullshit imaginable, where at least it can have goofy fun.

• 28:42Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 28:43Speaker 02

  And he fights like robot ninjas.

• 28:45Stavros Halkias?

  And then he fu- he flies at the end, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, like that shit, I'm like.

• 28:49Stavros Halkias?

  No, to me.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  It's the difference between like having a high-end steak, a steak at a diner.

• 28:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  And a Big Mac.

• 28:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good point.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  And I'm like, Robocop 3 is a Big Mac.

• 28:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's fair.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  Right?

• 29:00Stavros Halkias?

  But here's the thing, here's what I'll say, I don't think Robocop 2 is a steak at a diner. I think it's a steak at fucking Chili's or, or TGI Friday.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 29:06Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  This is a fair argument.

• 29:08Stavros Halkias?

  You know, where it's still just barely edible.

• 29:11Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 29:12Stavros Halkias?

  If we went, because I do think it's, it has enough, again, Robocop is so good.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  Robocop is one of the best.

• 29:18Stavros Halkias?

  When you get a shitty ribeye, you can still cut the little fatty parts and eat that, that's still good. The middle meat might not be so good, but there's still some good ass shit.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  It's a good analogy, because it is a movie with a lot of fatty parts.

• 29:29Stavros Halkias?

  It's got some awesome, some awesome stuff in there.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, but, but some stuff you need to clear off the plate.

• 29:34Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally, totally, but. We won't, we will stop talking about Robo, the Robocop sequels.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Were they in play at the Oscars this year? Can't remember. Was Robocop 3 in the mix?

• 29:45Stavros Halkias?

  Robocop 3, yeah, is being, yeah, they're, they're doing that. They're starting best sequel from the 90s. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network. Brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com.

• 30:26Stavros Halkias?

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• 30:36Speaker 03

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• 31:15Speaker 03

  at coopssleepgoods.com/comedy. That's C-O-O-P, sleepgoods.com/comedy.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  May I share with you?

• 31:23Stavros Halkias?

  Please.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Because you were talking about your One Battle experience. I can't remember if I've told you this story.

• 31:28Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 31:28Speaker 02

  I certainly haven't shared on mic. This feels like the most appropriate place to share it.

• 31:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  I ended up having to take a last-minute trip to LA.

• 31:36Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  And I had tickets for One Battle in like 70 million.

• 31:40Stavros Halkias?

  A member of the armed forces made you jack off at gunpoint?

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 31:42Stavros Halkias?

  Is that what you're gonna say?

• 31:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:44Stavros Halkias?

  Does they got your dick hard?

• 31:45Speaker 02

  Well, it's a G.I. Joe.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  That's the one time I've jerked off to an action figure. It was at an action figure's demand.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  I, you know, like, I was like, gotta get the right tickets for one battle.

• 31:56Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, of course. Cause it was all like, you gotta see Vista, no IMAX.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  I wanna go opening night and whatever. And then I had to like, give up my tickets. And I was like, fuck, I'm not gonna be able to see it.

• 32:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  In LA, a friend of mine is like, I have extra tickets for the Vista.

• 32:10Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, I love the Vista.

• 32:12Speaker 02

  Opening night, 70 millimeter.

• 32:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 32:14Speaker 02

  And I'm like, incredible. I go, I get there. It's the screening that DiCaprio.

• 32:20Stavros Halkias?

  Right, they're, they're introing.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  And PTA come out and do an intro ad and they're doing a video and PTA is like directing the crowd on how to like line up. And the clip went a little viral and it's like, I'm literally the last row and that's happening in the front. And I was like, this is the best way to see this movie.

• 32:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  This is perfect night.

• 32:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  But DiCaprio comes out and he makes a speech. He's like, this is my childhood theater. I love this place. My dad took me here every weekend and my parents are here tonight.

• 32:46Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  And he points and they stand up.

• 32:49Stavros Halkias?

  You have told me this.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  There are two rows directly in front of me.

• 32:51Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 32:52Speaker 02

  His weird hippie parents.

• 32:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he has, his dad and his stepmom are like, like, I saw, they, they were extras in Once Upon a Time.

• 33:01Speaker 02

  And, and dad's in like a pizza.

• 33:03Stavros Halkias?

  His dad's in like a pizza, he's like the waterman guy. He's like a weird crusty Hollywood. From the 70s.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  Underground comics guy. And it's the dad, the stepmom and his biological mother.

• 33:12Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, cool.

• 33:13Speaker 02

  Are all there, right? And so I'm watching them watch the movie.

• 33:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  And it, it has this sort of 40x thing where you're like, right, this movie is so much kind of like DiCaprio playing his parents.

• 33:23Stavros Halkias?

  He's so homage to his dad. It's insane to just imagine Leonardo DiCaprio's parents.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:28Stavros Halkias?

  Watching a movie, just the way like, I wonder how my son, I wonder how my son Leonardo DiCaprio did in this movie.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  And I'm truly like, I'm watching them watch the movie and tap each other and it's as if it's a school play.

• 33:40Stavros Halkias?

  That's cute.

• 33:41Speaker 02

  You know, they're not like, of course, our son. They're just sort of like, this is funny.

• 33:45Stavros Halkias?

  Right. You think his dad's the one that's texting him? He's like, fucking get those old bitches off, dude.

• 33:51Stavros Halkias?

  That'd be awesome if his dad was like, dude, nice, dude. I see who you're up, I see who you're dating these days.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  So halfway through the movie, my friend Derek, who goes to see it with me, gets up to go to the bathroom. And then I see Leo's dad get up and walk out immediately after. And I'm like, oh my God, they're gonna be in the bathroom together. And we'd already, it's been pointed out, it's like, that's so funny. That's DiCaprio's dad.

• 34:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:14Speaker 02

  That's crazy. Derek comes back out, followed immediately by DiCaprio's dad. And I was like, uh, you were just, I don't know if you noticed, you were just in the bathroom at the same time as him. And he goes, yeah, he took a big shit and didn't flush.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  So we watched the rest of the movie.

• 34:36Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome, dude.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  We watched the rest of the movie.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  You just can't shake this knowledge?

• 34:40Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 34:41Stavros Halkias?

  We're watching the rest of the movie and 30 feet from you, different room, Leo's dad's log is just marinating.

• 34:47Speaker 02

  There is a DiCaprio log.

• 34:48Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you're in the back, you're in the back, you're close, you're close.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  30 feet might even be over something.

• 34:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, I've been in that theater. If you're in the back, you're really close to the bathroom.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  Watch the rest of the movie, right?

• 34:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:57Speaker 02

  Movies long, there's at least another hour left.

• 34:59Stavros Halkias?

  Griff went with a fucking Ziploc.

• 35:00Speaker 01

  I was about to say, Griff at least.

• 35:02Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe I can make an action film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ghetto Pat made out of, get made out of Leonardo DiCaprio's father's real shit.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  So, sit through the rest of the movie, right?

• 35:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:16Speaker 02

  At the end, I, I run into a different friend of mine there, Morgan, and I'm like, hey, how are you doing? He goes like, I gotta tell you the funniest thing, you're gonna love this. My girlfriend went to the bathroom before the movie started. She comes out, she's like, some woman took a giant shit in the stall and didn't even flush it. Who the fuck would do this? Then we sit down, they come out to do the intro, DiCaprio goes, my parents, they stand up. His girlfriend goes, it was DiCaprio's mom.

• 35:49Speaker 01

  Are they just like?

• 35:50Speaker 02

  Both of his parents.

• 35:51Stavros Halkias?

  They don't want wastewater. Dude, I get that dude. Yeah, there, I guess, there must be some hippie shit.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's hippie shit.

• 35:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  Rules.

• 36:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's awesome to do that and not, it's like, all right, listen, if you're at home, you wanna leave shit in your fucking like, you know, compost pile. If you sit into a box that you're like broccoli stalks go into and shit, fine, fine. Yeah. But at the, at the fucking public bathroom, it's insane.

• 36:16Speaker 01

  Of your son's movie being shown to like an audience?

• 36:19Speaker 02

  They are the most visually distinctive people in the world. For anyone who doesn't have an image, Google DiCaprio parents.

• 36:24Speaker 01

  They're crazy. I mean, God bless them. Like, it's the best.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  Cool shit.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  And it is so funny that they made like the hottest person like of the 90s or whatever.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 36:35Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking beautiful, man.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  It was incredible.

• 36:37Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:38Stavros Halkias?

  No, a couple no flushers.

• 36:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome, dude. That's a, that's a beautiful way to see it, though.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  Wouldn't it be great if we heard, like, you know, all the, like, DiCaprio things where they're like, "Oh, he likes vapes and he keeps his headphones on during sex and whatever." No one's been like, "He's got some weird thing where he never flushes."

• 36:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He likes to, he likes to feed women until the point they have to shit. But he won't let them. He's like, uh, he's like, he does like shit BDSM.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  He's like, "Sorry, it's clogged."

• 37:07Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  "It wasn't me."

• 37:08Stavros Halkias?

  "Oh, I bet you need to take a fat shit, don't you? I bet you just wanna leave it in the bowl." "What you can't!"

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Don't rich guys like him have mansions with like 12 bathrooms? So he could like go from one to the other.

• 37:19Stavros Halkias?

  I wonder if he's a mansion guy.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  I don't know. Is he a mansion guy?

• 37:22Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. We don't know much about him, which I respect.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  I already said this on the podcast.

• 37:27Speaker 01

  The only thing I know about him is he has the greatest collection of movie posters.

• 37:30Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 37:31Speaker 01

  That like, if you go to his house or whatever, he's got this like, like, five-star incredible antique collection of movie posters.

• 37:38Speaker 02

  I respect that. It's just incredible. It was the Nikki Glaser joke, but that this guy has been so mega-famous for like 30-plus years.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  Except that he fucks supermodels.

• 37:46Speaker 02

  From the second we get like past 98, 99, we've learned no new information other than, "I guess he cares about the environment."

• 37:53Speaker 01

  Right. He likes electric cars and he dates 25-year-olds.

• 37:56Stavros Halkias?

  What we've gotten is yes, but here's the thing, that even the 25-year-old thing, the more, the more you like, uh, kinda understand how media and things work, it's like, that fully could be fake.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Oh, totally. They're just his dates to things.

• 38:09Stavros Halkias?

  That could be like, uh, we just want him to look like a play, but we don't want anyone to know his real... It's honestly Bruce Wayne-esque. Where it's like Bruce Wayne is out there getting his dick sucked, you know, in the middle of a restaurant.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Is Bruce Wayne where we're like, "Yeah, we know this guy," right? And then you're like, "Huh, has he ever said a human thing in an interview?"

• 38:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  And it's not that I think he's lying or like diverting attention. He's making us think that he's not hiding anything, that he's just like, a guy out there.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  He's just like, "I love movies. I make movies."

• 38:36Stavros Halkias?

  Which I get, I respect. I get that. But you should come on. I bet, yeah, Leo, come on to Stavie's room. I bet you've been, if you've been waiting, or Leo's parents. Waiting for the invite. Leo's parents might be good. I would love to have Leo's parents, you know? Can you, listen, go to the bathroom before you get here. But you're welcome, you're welcome. Before you get to the studio, but. If it's yellow, you can let it melt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  They're in good company on this side of the room.

• 39:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 39:04Speaker 04

  Sometimes a flush doesn't happen all the way.

• 39:07Stavros Halkias?

  The first, one of the first podcasts we did in our little makeshift, we're in the makeshift downtown studios. This is very funny because you guys are seeing, we have, we've upgraded the couch, maybe, are they catching? Are they catching the rug at all, Eldis? It doesn't matter.

• 39:21Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 39:21Stavros Halkias?

  The point is, this, we're putting, chronologically, this is the last of a batch. Wow. So they're gonna see a lot of the shittier couch before, but this, the first one we did with Eric Andre, Eldis had just clogged the bathroom. He was clogging the toilet.

• 39:36Speaker 04

  In my defense, it was like one of the first times I came here.

• 39:39Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure.

• 39:40Speaker 04

  I didn't know how bad the water pressure was, how to finesse the flushes when you're in there. And there wasn't a plunger here yet.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  But just to clarify, that was not for lack of trying to flush. You just did not succeed in getting it down?

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I have an Australian friend who told me that a turd that won't flush is called a grogen there. A grogen. And I've never forgotten it. They love weird little slang. They love weird word, and I don't know if that's true. Doesn't grogen mean like? It means like your bud, right? No, I think that means like a, that's like a type of white trash. Oh, yeah, that sounds right.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  Also the name of Jon Hamm's character in Shrek four.

• 40:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 40:14Speaker 02

  Handsome ogre, Brogan.

• 40:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Brogan, the handsome ogre. That's kinda funny. I haven't gotten there yet. I've never gotten to Shrek four. I haven't gotten to four either. Are they making five?

• 40:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, big time.

• 40:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. You're not in there? Not in it.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  That's actually a stop.

• 40:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's a little fucked up.

• 40:26Speaker 02

  Or you're being really canny right now.

• 40:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, are they? Oh, they're making a Shrek, what, what's the number? Are they gonna, is Shrek gonna take his family to a diner, an ogre diner? Bro, if there's an ogre diner and I don't do the voice on Shrek five, I actually will be fucking pissed.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  You will storm DreamWorks.

• 40:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I really, look, I'm doing okay. If, maybe if Shrek comes on a couple of years, I'm in, but I'm just. If I see a diner.

• 40:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:50Stavros Halkias?

  If I see an ogre diner.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  If Shrek's eating Sulaki.

• 40:53Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, if I don't, if I don't serve fucking Shrek Sulaki, I'm gonna be pissed, dude. We'll see, we'll see, we'll, we'll see how fucking goes. Fuck, that would be fucking awesome, dude. Anyway, what are you gonna do?

• 41:05Speaker 02

  What are you gonna do?

• 41:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's not, you know, for now, you know, not, I didn't see the four, though. Definitely saw Shrek in theaters, that was a.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  I saw Shrek in theaters, I saw Shrek two in theaters. I left it there.

• 41:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  My daughters watched Shrek a few times, but she didn't stick with Shrek, like, so she thought it was okay.

• 41:21Stavros Halkias?

  How old's your kid?

• 41:21Speaker 01

  She's five.

• 41:22Stavros Halkias?

  Five.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:23Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that's a fun age to like be introducing shit to her.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  It's the best.

• 41:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  And now every animated movie, I saw Goat, I saw Hoppers, I'm like, oh, we just go to, we go to these movies.

• 41:31Speaker 02

  That's awesome.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  She loved Goat.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  I haven't seen Goat.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Goat, it's pretty good.

• 41:35Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, is that the Steph Curry one?

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:37Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 41:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:37Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, alright, I'll give it a whirl. But you, so you saw it in theaters, this is a very, and this is a funny thing about why, like, listening to you guys' podcasts, because I just kind of jumped around through movies.

• 41:48Speaker 01

  Right, so you're at different points in your life.

• 41:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's very funny, like, pop in and out, but I do love that the joke that you eventually had to ban about you living in England.

• 41:56Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 41:58Stavros Halkias?

  Where everybody would pretend they were surprised. And you, and you got pissed, it was funny watching you get more and more pissed off. To the point where you weren't even kidding anymore, you're like, stop fucking bringing it up!

• 42:08Speaker 01

  Listeners agreed that that was funny. Yeah.

• 42:11Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 42:11Speaker 02

  This is crazy, is it would come up organically in like every episode.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  Cause it's like my life.

• 42:16Stavros Halkias?

  Because you're talking about when you saw a movie, where you saw it.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  Right, like my entire adolescence.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  So many of the directors we cover are people who were like nineties, early two thousands, coming of age for us. And so I start doing the bit of being like, huh, that's, I think I've heard that before.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 42:32Stavros Halkias?

  And you did, for our listeners, you grew up, like, you were born here?

• 42:35Speaker 01

  I was born in New York City.

• 42:37Stavros Halkias?

  You're a Manhattan kid, right?

• 42:37Speaker 02

  I'm born and raised in Manhattan.

• 42:38Stavros Halkias?

  And maybe the most.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  He's the most.

• 42:41Stavros Halkias?

  You looked that to such a hilarious.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  I am little man.

• 42:45Stavros Halkias?

  It's like you look like a little guy, like you weren't even allowed to grow because you're in an apartment with no sun. You know what I mean? Like it looks like physically, not only do you appear with your style wise, but like everything about you is like, oh, that's a guy who grew up in Manhattan, right?

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Right.

• 42:59Stavros Halkias?

  Which is very awesome. I love that about you. It's very.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  I'm working through it about me, but I appreciate you.

• 43:04Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's great. It's awesome to be, but first of all, I think it's awesome to be a guy.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  I agree with that.

• 43:09Stavros Halkias?

  To be any kind of guy is a big win. It's a big win. So that's huge.

• 43:14Speaker 02

  It is. It is so funny that growing up with other New York kids, they would be like, you're such a fucking New Yorker.

• 43:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  And I'd be like, you're the same as me. And they're like, no, but you're like.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  You're more.

• 43:23Stavros Halkias?

  You're the one who embarrasses us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 43:26Stavros Halkias?

  It's like that any, in any kind of group, you're doing the stereotype.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 43:30Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? It's like, you know, um, if like, if like un-Asian happens to be bad at driving, other Asians are like, come on, man. That's what they say about us. That's what they say about you and like talking about action figures and movies and shit like, you know what I mean?

• 43:45Speaker 02

  Right. That's like multiple different groups are all like, dude, make it a little bit less of a layup to mock us.

• 43:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  But I, the bit heightened, obviously from like being like, what? I haven't heard this before.

• 43:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. What, what age did you go?

• 43:56Speaker 01

  I moved to London.

• 43:57Stavros Halkias?

  So you grew up here though?

• 43:58Speaker 01

  I was born in New York. Uh, my dad's English though.

• 44:01Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Uh, what? He died, but he's, he was English. Uh.

• 44:04Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, he was, shouldn't have been dealing drugs, dude. I saw that you got fucking gunned down. Elderly British heroin addict slash dealer, gunned down in the streets.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  No.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  But my dad like got a job in England, so I moved to London when I was nine, lived in London, then went to college in Britain, like.

• 44:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 44:24Speaker 01

  So I was 22.

• 44:25Stavros Halkias?

  Nine through 22?

• 44:26Speaker 01

  13 years.

• 44:27Stavros Halkias?

  13 years, but, but you were old enough to not even get a hint of?

• 44:31Speaker 01

  I got the accent.

• 44:32Stavros Halkias?

  You do. You did.

• 44:33Speaker 01

  If I, and if I go back, it comes back.

• 44:34Stavros Halkias?

  Comes back.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  But I sound, I always say this, I sounded like Madonna. You know what I mean? Yeah, I just sounded like some weird kid who was sort of American, but just like

• 44:44Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  Had the British idioms.

• 44:46Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 44:46Speaker 01

  And the whole thing of moving there was, I was just like, fair play, old chap. Not like that, not like that. But I moved there and I was just like, I'm nine years old, I don't want to get made fun of. Like, I'm gonna get made fun of. You'll say some shit in front of these nine year olds, like eraser, the word eraser to mean something to like rub your And they'll be like, what the fuck did you do? Cause they call it a rubber.

• 45:07Stavros Halkias?

  A rubber, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  And like, there were a million pitfalls like that. I just had to learn how to avoid. Cause I'm like, I just don't want them to fuss over me all the time.

• 45:14Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  And I got really into football, you know, soccer.

• 45:18Stavros Halkias?

  Soccer, footy.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  Just to prove.

• 45:20Stavros Halkias?

  To have the language.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  Here's how not American I am.

• 45:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:22Speaker 01

  I love football.

• 45:23Stavros Halkias?

  But it's also sports is the easiest way to talk to people.

• 45:26Speaker 01

  So like, you just like, I got like deep into, into football.

• 45:29Stavros Halkias?

  That's one of the most like general pieces of advice I'll give to anyone. Cause we have a lot of absolute fucking losers that listen to this podcast.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Impossible.

• 45:36Stavros Halkias?

  Cause that's where we all, by the way, I'm not saying that disparagingly, time is a flat circle. I was once a, the version of me that listens to this podcast, I listened to whatever the equivalent of this was when I was an 18 year old fat loser. Our podcast exists because we didn't know each other at that age.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  We had these conversations with nobody.

• 45:54Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Like on a message board or something.

• 45:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's true nightmare shit. And I want to say, want to like, to all the dorks out there, and Griff, it's too late for you. It's over, it's settled. Just some ba, learning baseline sports talk.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  Hundred percent.

• 46:09Stavros Halkias?

  Is the most useful small talk in America.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  In America.

• 46:14Stavros Halkias?

  I can say as the person who does not have the ability, I could not agree more.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Exactly. Talking to other men, but also talking to like anyone like, like at a restaurant and fucking, you know, like just a guy on the street, like any, like it's just, most people can talk to you about sports.

• 46:28Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 46:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:29Stavros Halkias?

  And it just is a quick thing, father in laws, you know what I mean?

• 46:33Speaker 01

  A hundred percent, yes.

• 46:34Stavros Halkias?

  Like just scary older guys of any kind.

• 46:36Speaker 01

  Father in laws, it's like sports and like what roads I took to drive to your house.

• 46:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. The older you get, it can be like traffic patterns.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  Did you take the Deegan? I'm like, no, I did the Brockner.

• 46:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, interesting. You know, usually they're always working on that left lane over there. You know what I mean?

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Meanwhile, I go to sports bars and I'm like, so do you know they actually overproduce the Brad Goodman? Action figure because it's funny. Jackie Mason pulled out.

• 47:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah. What's funny about you, Griff, too, is that like, I would assume that you, your fan, knowing, not, not knowing you, right? Just when I was like, you know, listen to the podcast, that you, your family was just like four versions of you.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  Very much not.

• 47:14Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? That it's like, that you just assume it's gonna be like, oh, everyone, it's like a cartoon, it's like Milhouse's family. You know what I mean? Everybody sort of looks like you, but just like different heights and shapes.

• 47:25Speaker 02

  I believe I used the term to David this week, Rugrat parents.

• 47:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sure.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  How every Rugrat parent is like a reverse engineer.

• 47:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's funny because I did, very randomly, when we met, I, I met your dad.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  Simultaneously.

• 47:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I might have actually touched your father before I touched you.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Well, he touched you.

• 47:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he came in for a hug fast.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  And it was a wrestling, like a grapple hug.

• 47:48Stavros Halkias?

  No, my dad. Which I love about, I love.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  My dad's greatest dream in life was to be a sports broadcaster. That's all he wanted to do. He was like, he was a wrestling kid, but he's, he's a.

• 47:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's like a little kind of, being a little guy. You gotta go wrestler if you're gonna be an athlete, or I guess jockey.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  And he had.

• 48:05Stavros Halkias?

  You know, but.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  I think he was a little too, like, broad to be a jockey.

• 48:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  And he's, he's like more built than I am.

• 48:12Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 48:13Speaker 02

  And he had the wrestling thing, but it's like, there's not a professional path to this.

• 48:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  And he was like, what do I want to do? I literally want to talk about sports for a living.

• 48:20Stavros Halkias?

  Talk about a guy that would have loved having a podcast.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, truly.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Oh, no, he was born out of the wrong generation.

• 48:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:26Speaker 02

  He, um, cause he finally like, he got a shot eventually to do a TV, a local TV broadcast. And he was like, I can't stand being on cameras.

• 48:34Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  I hate this.

• 48:35Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 48:36Speaker 01

  Right. He's Albert Brooks in broadcast news. He's sweating the second they turn it on.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  But what he did leading into that is he worked for a company called Sports Phone, and Sports Phone was for gambling addicts, of which he was one.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Obsessive bettors on games every night. It's like a 1-900 number for fucking gamblers. So it was like. Tell me about your parlay, big boy. Should I take the Spurs under tonight? It's crazier than that. It was, although that would have been a good business. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, if you have a lot riding on the games and you can't wait until the papers hit tomorrow morning. We'll tell you who won tonight. To know if you've ruined yourself. Right. It's a pre-recorded message that you call up and every hour they update it with the current scores. So it was like the SportsCenter tracker, the like ticker before the ticker. So it was a pre-recorded, like vocal message. That's awesome. Voicemail line where he was Precision Pete Newman and he got to try out like the voice. That's incredible. And his lingo. And he was like, and this is the stepping stone to being the guy on camera. Wow.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  And then he just collapsed. He was like, I, oh, it turns out I hate doing this. But it just. Time to pivot. Which is interesting though, because it's like, and then your brother works in basketball. My brother is the general manager of the men's and women's teams in Sydney, Australia. Sydney Kings.

• 49:48Stavros Halkias?

  With the Kings?

• 49:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. And it's literally like.

• 49:50Stavros Halkias?

  The NBL?

• 49:51Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 49:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  And I'd like, I, and I'm like, oh, is like Luke Longley involved? Yes. Is Andrew Bogan involved? I believe so.

• 49:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Like it's like every Australian, I think Matthew Delavadova's on the team.

• 50:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:03Stavros Halkias?

  Player coach, Matthew Delavadova.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  Basically.

• 50:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:07Stavros Halkias?

  That's so, so you were based, and so the rest, it's just interesting to think about. Yeah. So every, it was your family, it was like your dad and your brother were sporty. And then it was like, there must have been like, what about your mom's side? What's that like?

• 50:20Speaker 02

  My mom, uh, worked as an actress for a while.

• 50:23Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 50:24Speaker 02

  And then got really frustrated with it.

• 50:26Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 50:26Speaker 02

  And was like, what if I have a normal kid?

• 50:28Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  And then. And then, yeah, she went, what, one for three? How, I don't know how many. No, but we're all. They're all weird. They're all weird. Okay. Right. I mean, here's what I always like. How many do you have? How many? Uh, three. There's three of us. My brother's the middle and I have a younger sister, uh, who works in food. Uh, it's, it's very much like a rural Tannenbaum's family where rather than being five mill houses, it's like everyone's a main character. Yeah, everyone's got their own. And has their own kind of internal game. Some fucking insane bit where you're like, oh my God. I mean, like, this family, they're all great. Yeah, all of that.

• 50:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, totally. I mean, your dad was so clearly like a little guy who. Needs to be hanging out with a giant guy at all times. He's clearly a Timon and Pumba, like, most of his life is Timon and Pumba.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  So like to just a backfiller.

• 51:07Stavros Halkias?

  Cause he immediately came to me, Gabris. He loves you so much. Yeah, right.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, cause we.

• 51:11Stavros Halkias?

  I loved him, dude. He could, he's, he's welcome anytime.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  So I was doing.

• 51:14Stavros Halkias?

  In fact, I would love to do a fucking bonus set with your dad, dude.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  You could get that.

• 51:18Stavros Halkias?

  Precision Pete.

• 51:19Speaker 02

  Precision Pete. We were doing, uh, Doughboys had Gabris and I come with them to DC for a live show.

• 51:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's where we met. I happened to be hanging out.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  And you were like, oh, I'll come drive over, come see the show. And then you end up doing a thing on the show as well. And so my dad, one of his childhood best friends had just passed away.

• 51:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, right. You guys were there for the funeral. Right, right, right.

• 51:38Speaker 02

  Gonna be in DC the next day. I already had this plan with the Doughboys and I was like, if you're getting in that night, do you want to come see a comedy show? I think you like these, you'd like these guys and it might be like a nice kind of relief. And not this friend who had died, but like his all time best friend, who is my godfather as the first kid, is Big Howard.

• 51:58Stavros Halkias?

  Big Howard?

• 51:59Speaker 02

  Was like the Timon and Pumba. That's his giant, like, heavyweight wrestling buddy.

• 52:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 52:05Speaker 02

  Who's really kinda Gabris adjacent and his whole energy and his look and the boisterousness and the life of the party thing. And so I'm at dinner with my dad and he's doing okay, but I'm like, all of this is, he's working through a lot of one of his childhood friends dying. I'm like, let's go back to the hotel. We're gonna meet the other guys and then walk over to the theater. And we walk into the lobby, you, Gabris, Mitch and Weiger are all lined up.

• 52:26Stavros Halkias?

  Weiger's the smallest guy.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 52:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and he's already six whatever.

• 52:30Speaker 02

  And he almost starts crying tears of joy and I'm immediately just like goes in.

• 52:33Stavros Halkias?

  Starts wrestling me. I don't know the guy at all.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Crotch and he's just trying to lift you up and he's like giggling like this.

• 52:41Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking awesome. It was awesome because we snapped right into it. I was like, fuck you, you fucking old piece of shit. You're not gonna get me.

• 52:47Speaker 02

  All of you were just like doing this thing. Hey, Gabris and Mitch and Weiger had known for a while are like, this is the piece I was missing in understanding you.

• 52:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  It's funny that he's like you, but with this added like energy. And then since then, I don't want to say that he's become your biggest fan, but you have become the thing he is a biggest fan of, period. And he said to me recently.

• 53:10Stavros Halkias?

  It was a good time to learn about me. Cause it was like, that was exactly when all this other shit was popping up.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  Yes, right. So he feels like it's crazy, this ascension that's happening. But we also were walking like four blocks from the hotel to the theater and guys kept on like dappling you or high fiving you and he was like, how? These people know who he is.

• 53:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  It's a big deal.

• 53:29Stavros Halkias?

  And you were also on your home turf. He thought it was just a fun fat guy, which that's who I, that's, that is.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Part of him being.

• 53:35Stavros Halkias?

  For a while. That is who I am. Really? That's why, that's, that is the sto, that's the bedrock of everything.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  Right.

• 53:41Stavros Halkias?

  At the end of the day, you take it all away, dude, I'm still a fat guy that's fun to pretend to wrestle with.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Which is his favorite kind of person.

• 53:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  He said to me the other day, he was like, it's crazy how big Stavi's gotten. I open Instagram, every post is him. And I was like, do you know how algorithm?

• 53:59Speaker 02

  Anytime Stavi shows up, you like it, you repost it, you do hand emoji.

• 54:03Stavros Halkias?

  Name in your sleep.

• 54:04Speaker 02

  In his mind, he's 90% of users are posting you.

• 54:08Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, that.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  90% of the time.

• 54:10Stavros Halkias?

  If only we lived in that world. There's so much to talk about too. I mean, we'll get, we'll, we'll have to take some calls, but yeah, maybe you'll just have to bring Precision Pete back, dude, because. Easy ass. Because, uh, I mean, his obsession with competitive eaters is incredible. The fact that he's a gambling addict is awesome. Is he still, or has he?

• 54:28Speaker 02

  Gambling?

• 54:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  I think he's stayed pretty.

• 54:30Stavros Halkias?

  He's like tough to be gambling addict.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  Impulses have transferred into other areas of his life, but he's not literally gambling.

• 54:37Stavros Halkias?

  Cheating on your mom.

• 54:40Stavros Halkias?

  He's cheating on your mom. He's, he was, he was your dad's heroin selling partner. He fucked him up.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  He's a three card monte. He's running the con for others.

• 54:49Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, fuck. Well, yeah, we gotta have both of you back and, and, uh, and we do have to talk. I, I, if we can, the problem is I'm gone a lot, but I'd love to talk Robocop 3 if we could figure it out. We can do it. Don't worry about it. There's no, we'll get you. Yeah. But, um, but we should take some calls, Elders. So why don't we, why don't we, uh, see what our, you know, our gentleman here, we, we haven't, we didn't even mention Sims, you're a father of three. True. Which is like, cause you had twins, right? And that's, that's what happened to my parents too. They wanted two kids and they got.

• 55:20Speaker 01

  They got one then two?

• 55:21Stavros Halkias?

  They got one. If they'd had two, no chance they had a third.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  No, of course, that's so rare. The only reason I'm reacting is like, you never meet people like that.

• 55:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  I meet, now I'm, my kid's in school, my, my five year old, you know, I'm meeting other twin parents.

• 55:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  And I'll sit in them like, oh, I have twins. And she's like, they're like, oh, she's a twin. I'm like, no, we got twins after her. And the twin parents go like, oh, that's fucked up. Jesus Christ.

• 55:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's like you got, you had like, like a, you got dealt 15 at blackjack and you're like, alright, I'll hit.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  I'll hit. And they're like, give me, give me, give me everything you own. It's all gone. It's all gone.

• 55:55Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck. I got greedy.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  But wait, but yeah, but I have three kids. Why, like, do you, why are you bringing this up?

• 56:00Stavros Halkias?

  Well, just because, just to show the complete, the kind of psychological mastery, the different, where the, the context that this advice will come from.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 56:09Stavros Halkias?

  We have Griff, we're still essentially a child in almost every way. And then, and then I'm kind of right in the middle here between, so just letting, letting our, our guests know that they're, that's who you're getting some, that's who you're getting advice from. A nice wide swath of lived experience.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  Right. And don't most people just call in and be like, I jerk off all the time? Like, what do I do about that?

• 56:28Stavros Halkias?

  Well, we'll see. We just did a couple, we just did a bunch of pods, you know, because we have to kind of record.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  So we're getting like the drags?

• 56:35Stavros Halkias?

  Well, we have thousands of calls, but Eldis is horrible at his job. So he probably, what, this happens all the time where if we do a batch, you just see the degradation over time. Where it's like the first three episodes, like, whoa, these are great questions. And the fourth one's like, by the end, it's like, um, ah, I got a knife and I'm thinking about using it.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  I'm gonna do it.

• 56:58Stavros Halkias?

  My mom's been looking at me funny. And then it's like, so anyway, here's, you're legally liable for this stuff. It's always shit like that by the end, but let's challenge Eldis. Now, he did get here over 40 minutes early to prepare, so. And the setup takes 45 minutes, but that's another thing.

• 57:16Speaker 04

  No clogged toilet?

• 57:17Stavros Halkias?

  No, well, no clogged toilet. That's something.

• 57:20Speaker 01

  Well, let's see, you know.

• 57:21Speaker 04

  I did shit here today.

• 57:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's good to know, man.

• 57:24Speaker 04

  Hey, we'll let the people.

• 57:25Stavros Halkias?

  Let's let the people decide, okay?

• 57:29Speaker 05

  Hi Stavi, um, I just called and I talked about my story, so I'm calling back. Anyway, hi Stav.

• 57:35Stavros Halkias?

  Hello.

• 57:35Speaker 05

  Hi esteemed guest. Alright, so I am married to my husband. We have been, I'm married to my husband. Whatever.

• 57:42Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus.

• 57:43Speaker 05

  I've been married for about a year and um, the past like year or so, my husband's been getting a lot of cold sores.

• 57:53Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 57:53Speaker 05

  And you know, of course, we were trying to be careful about kissing and all that shit. Um, I've gotten cold sores since I was a kid, so I wasn't really worried about if I got it, then you know, we'd just deal with it and I'd take some meds and call it a day. But um, this last weekend, I looked at my pussy, let's just be frank. And there was uh, some blisters. And uh, to my, my, my shock.

• 58:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's tough.

• 58:27Speaker 05

  I showed my husband and he, we immediately went to the thought of, okay, well, how the fuck did that happen? Um, he keeps apologizing.

• 58:38Stavros Halkias?

  Oh no, fuck. That could have happened, there's any way that could have, right? We, we both aren't sure how it happened, right? We're both confused. Let's crack open a book together or something. And we're trying to figure it out, right? We're on the same page.

• 58:58Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 58:59Speaker 05

  I don't know whether to be mad or not. So, yeah, I know my storytelling is fucked up and crazy. Hopefully that made sense. So you could just let me know if being mad at him is justified or not.

• 59:14Stavros Halkias?

  So basically.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  He's so crazy that people call a dude.

• 59:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  I know it's a trade thing to say.

• 59:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  But then she's just like working through all that and she's like, she should go to the doctor. She's like, call a friend. Think Stavi first.

• 59:26Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Throw that in the bucket. Okay, sorry.

• 59:29Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, you're right. You're absolutely right. And thank God they do. So that that's the lifeblood of this show.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  It's the engine. I understand.

• 59:35Stavros Halkias?

  How, how, how much we've been zapped of community and places to, to talk to a neighbor, trusted acquaintance. That's gone.

• 59:43Speaker 01

  Instead, just yell it into a tree that is, right.

• 59:46Speaker 02

  It feels like these people trust you more than just running it through in their head one time.

• 59:50Stavros Halkias?

  I hope, and you know what?

• 59:52Speaker 01

  During the first.

• 59:53Stavros Halkias?

  The most basic logic experiment.

• 59:55Speaker 01

  And I'm happy to do it. Now, why would I have, right?

• 59:57Stavros Halkias?

  I, I hope that a lot of, because we're not gonna get to every call.

• 1:00:00Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:00:00Stavros Halkias?

  I hope that it's kind of the first step. Cause when you say things out loud sometimes.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:00:05Stavros Halkias?

  It clarifies it for you.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:06Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I've had that with people who've called in and you kind of even sense.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  You hear them processing it.

• 1:00:10Stavros Halkias?

  They figure it out as they explain it.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  She just realized for the first time that she's married to her husband.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  I'm married to my husband.

• 1:00:18Speaker 02

  I am married to my husband.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  I thought she was about to say for how long? Twenty years? And then she's like, for one year. And I'm like, okay, so it's, you know, it's in memory.

• 1:00:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. So, so basically what's happened here, hopefully.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  Hopefully.

• 1:00:31Stavros Halkias?

  Here's the read, right? I guess. And it seems like they are, it doesn't seem like she has any worries about cheating. Like immediately where it goes to my head is like, oh, he's been getting new cold sores and now I have herpes on my pussy. It's like, the fact that she didn't immediately go, oh.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  She's not going right there.

• 1:00:49Stavros Halkias?

  My husband cheated on. If you really, if this guy just has had cold sores on his mouth his whole life.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:55Stavros Halkias?

  And you, as a couple.

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:57Stavros Halkias?

  You're having sex. It's pussy eating the clock regardless. You know what I mean?

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  These things can happen. I don't know.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  It's a question that demands a question. That is, that feels like that's the one step that's being skipped over is, did contact happen?

• 1:01:11Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:01:11Speaker 02

  Between those body parts.

• 1:01:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  Within a window of time. But she also says that she has had, uh.

• 1:01:17Stavros Halkias?

  She gets cold sores a lot. So I guess, if this is not a situation where you are scared that you've been cheated on and this is fresh herpes from someone outside of your marriage. And it's just the fact that you and your husband both get cold sores on the mouth and now they've transferred to your pussy. That's tough. Go to a doctor.

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:37Stavros Halkias?

  Right. See, you know, if it's, I believe they are different types, even if you.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 1:01:41Stavros Halkias?

  You can get them on both parts and one, one, this outbreaks are more serious. I don't know shit. But as, as long as you are not scared of cheating and I, hopefully I didn't just put this in your head and, and you didn't at all, then.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  This is, I feel like you both fucked up here.

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  If she's calling in, isn't it like a 5% fear of cheating? Like, there's like, at least the, the ambient. But it does, you're right, it doesn't sound like she's like, and also, there's a weird thing on his credit card bill. Or also, he keeps sending weird texts, I don't know.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  My read is, if she already had any pre-existing fear of cheating, this would be viewed as,

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  This is it.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, here's some evidence stacked onto that side, right? And her calling is almost, "Am I crazy for just dismissing this? Purely as physically, do I need to say this out loud to test, am I worried about cheating?" And it felt like in her being like, "One year married to my husband, maybe it is fine."

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:02:39Speaker 02

  "Maybe I'm not worked up about it."

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  How many callers do you get, though, where the answer is just like, "Oh, you should go see a doctor." Uh, "See you later."

• 1:02:47Stavros Halkias?

  Like, every call.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  Including this one. FYI, I'm not a doctor, uh, I can Google some shit for you if you want.

• 1:02:54Stavros Halkias?

  Every call, it's like, "Go to a doctor, lawyer, psychiatrist." It's one of those three, it should not be me, but, you know, we try and, within those, at least push them in the right, one of those three to go to.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  And you haven't had a "turn yourself into the police" immediately called yet?

• 1:03:10Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no, no. I think Elders knows good enough. There was one where we had to cut, because someone was like, straight up discriminating against their tenants.

• 1:03:20Stavros Halkias?

  We had to just cut that.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  You had Hannibal Buress on the post?

• 1:03:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:27Stavros Halkias?

  He's like, "Did you watch Broad City or not? Uh-oh, looks like somebody's rent is getting jacked up."

• 1:03:36Stavros Halkias?

  So, look, if this is simply, should me, should my husband have been more careful about getting his mouth herpes on my fucking pussy? Then listen, yes.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  But maybe.

• 1:03:47Stavros Halkias?

  And you can be a little annoyed, but it takes two to tango, sister. You both know what the fuck is up.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  And if it's a contained, if it's just the two, I don't know.

• 1:03:55Stavros Halkias?

  And if you're not cheating.

• 1:03:56Speaker 04

  You have like a lifelong proclivity towards cold sores.

• 1:03:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:59Speaker 04

  That's just, you're just playing the fire.

• 1:04:00Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:04:01Stavros Halkias?

  If you're, in fact, I say if you're with someone, I've had a friend who was dating somebody with herpes. It had to wear a condom every time with his wife.

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that's.

• 1:04:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's insane. That her, get herpes. If you know you're gonna.

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, just throw in.

• 1:04:17Stavros Halkias?

  If you know, and look, that.

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  Isn't it one of those things where like everyone has it or something?

• 1:04:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, I think in general the herpes.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  But then it's like there's the different kinds.

• 1:04:25Stavros Halkias?

  I think in general, it's like way overblown and it's even when you have it, it's like you can, um, you know, you can get medicine or whatever. It's not that big a deal. But in this case, if your question is, should I be mad at my husband? Yeah, I guess, but also you have him, you let him eat your pussy with the cold sore. You but you thought you were bulletproof. You know what I mean? And it's just not true, you know?

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  Maybe she should be mad at him anyway, though, just about something else.

• 1:04:49Speaker 04

  Find something else to mad.

• 1:04:49Stavros Halkias?

  Mag him. But I would say now that you're married, stop having sex with him. Cause that's where you're, that's how you're supposed to behave.

• 1:04:56Speaker 04

  Pull out the rolling pin.

• 1:04:57Stavros Halkias?

  What's your problem? Having sex with your husband after marriage? Haven't you seen sitcoms?

• 1:05:02Speaker 01

  You've seen According to Jim?

• 1:05:04Stavros Halkias?

  You have to only trade, you have to trade, you have to use pussy as a weapon in a marriage.

• 1:05:09Speaker 04

  And only during sweeps week.

• 1:05:10Stavros Halkias?

  And only, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:05:12Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh. Come out in a fucking teddy that like covers all your ankles. What they thought was sexy on a network sitcom is so good.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  Still Standing.

• 1:05:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, they elders are big Still Standing fan.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Wait, which one was that? Was that?

• 1:05:28Stavros Halkias?

  That was the one.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  That was the one with the, the king from Game of Thrones, right?

• 1:05:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, Mark Addy.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  Mark Addy.

• 1:05:33Speaker 04

  The second.

• 1:05:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, that's the one I liked. You like the one with.

• 1:05:37Speaker 04

  Yes, dear.

• 1:05:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, dear. Elders was a huge yes, dear.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  CBS was just like, keep making those. I don't give a shit. We need one on every night.

• 1:05:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was so bad. I just remember like I would watch it after school. They'd show reruns at like three P.

• 1:05:50Stavros Halkias?

  Bro, you watched it during college. You would throw it on in college.

• 1:05:52Speaker 04

  You know, high school, college, I definitely.

• 1:05:55Stavros Halkias?

  It was in the rotation. It was just easy to watch. It went down easy. Eldis loved Everybody Loves Raymond and.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  Okay, so here's my question, because all right, I literally.

• 1:06:04Stavros Halkias?

  Still standing. Oh, no, no. Yes, dear. Back and forth.

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  A coworker asked me, because she was sort of writing about the like, the heyday of the Apatow.

• 1:06:11Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:06:11Speaker 01

  Kind of like.

• 1:06:12Stavros Halkias?

  What if this dork was with a hot girl?

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  I am a movie critic.

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  But she summons me over and she's like, okay, okay. So like, obviously, there's these examples.

• 1:06:20Stavros Halkias?

  If you have somebody who wants to talk about hot women, fat guy.

• 1:06:24Speaker 01

  I should.

• 1:06:24Stavros Halkias?

  Send her my way.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  I start going like, well, yeah, because there was like, according to Jim, yes, you're still standing. And she's like, okay.

• 1:06:30Stavros Halkias?

  King of Queens.

• 1:06:31Speaker 01

  King of Queens being, that's the one she was citing, right? And I was like, yes, people know that one. Then she was like, does Raymond count? Like, in terms, and I was like, not really. Like, Raymond's kind of hot.

• 1:06:40Stavros Halkias?

  Raymond's kind of hot. It's a completely different setup. Everybody loves. Right. In fact, his family is the fatness. Like, the like.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  Like Peter Boyle and Doris Roberts and all that.

• 1:06:50Stavros Halkias?

  The whole idea is that the man is like underneath the woman and she has to deal with him. But also, it's like, this, this, this sort of like, um, message, this implicit message that like, this is what relationships look like. The woman has to settle. She has to put up with this bullshit.

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  Dork. She's got to be a mean boss.

• 1:07:11Stavros Halkias?

  Fat doofus, easily. Physically, she's putting up with this horrific body. He's fucking stupid. With Raymond, he's got a good job. He's like a good sports.

• 1:07:20Speaker 01

  He's a sports writer, yeah.

• 1:07:21Stavros Halkias?

  There's never money problems in that family. They're all, in fact.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  And they have like eighty kids.

• 1:07:25Stavros Halkias?

  He also has the same dynamic as you.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  I know. He had one and then two, yeah.

• 1:07:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. It's, his family is the thing she has to overcome. They're the weight. They're the weight. They're the stupidity.

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  That's why it's a better show than the, according to Jim.

• 1:07:37Stavros Halkias?

  A more complex show.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:39Stavros Halkias?

  The best show. Yeah.

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  It's a good show.

• 1:07:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. It is very good. Yeah. I loved it, obviously, but it was never my like, maybe because I was a fat doofus, I just loved, give me a fat guy getting pussy from a hot. I mean, King of Queens. I have a joke in my act about it too, where it's like, it really was, I don't want to go into it too much, but it was like, those shows are bad for fat children. They're really.

• 1:08:00Speaker 01

  They're giving you way too high expectations.

• 1:08:02Stavros Halkias?

  Don't worry about it.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  Larry Renminis just around the corner.

• 1:08:04Stavros Halkias?

  Larry Renminis is not walking through that door. Uh, but that's what I assumed was happening.

• 1:08:10Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:08:11Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe if I, you know, um, uh, anyway, so that's the answer. Give us another question, Eldis.

• 1:08:16Speaker 03

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• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  That's C O O P sleepgoods.com slash comedy.

• 1:09:02Speaker 06

  Dana, listen, I want to talk to you about something. Every Thursday, you do know that we're hanging out with some of the biggest names in comedy and entertainment, right? Are you kidding me? Who's been on this show? We have great people, a lot of fun. Uh, and Mondays, it's you and I to ourselves. We riff on life, pop culture, clips online, every stupid thing. So everybody out there, join us Mondays, Thursdays, fly on the wall, wherever you get your podcasts. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of laughs and it's a lot of stupidity.

• 1:09:33Speaker 07

  Hey, Stu. Uh, Jay from Canada.

• 1:09:37Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, what's up, big Canada?

• 1:09:38Speaker 07

  I got a little bit of a dilemma. Been with the wife almost 10 years now.

• 1:09:45Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:09:46Speaker 07

  We're thinking about having kids. One problem I have. I have to tell her to do her chores around the house like a kid. Like I'm the only one that's fucking thinking, oh, well, I'm done with the plate. I should probably take the plate out of the living room, bring it to the kitchen.

• 1:10:03Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:10:04Speaker 07

  Right? I'm, I'm done cooking my meal. I, I should probably like, I don't know, wash the pot while it's still warm. So the stuff is getting up. Oh, I, I'm the only one in the house that does her laundry once a week.

• 1:10:17Stavros Halkias?

  Damn dude, relax. We're not her.

• 1:10:19Speaker 07

  Should, uh, should we have a larger conversation before we have the kids?

• 1:10:27Speaker 07

  Or is this like, is this, cause this has been a thing. I don't know what to do, man.

• 1:10:33Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:10:33Speaker 07

  Also for your information, very perky H cups.

• 1:10:38Stavros Halkias?

  Very perky and what? It's cups. Well, there, there's your answer right there, pal. You want her fucking doing chores with those heavy ass tits strapped to her chest, dude? What, what do you want? You want to have back problems or you want to enjoy those big fucking hangers? If your tits are so big, she could take it easy on the chores, actually. That's actually really instructive advice. That actually really does change my, my opinion here. Perky H's, brother, that's fucking, you hold on to it. You, listen, you gotta do a little extra Febrezeing, a little extra Swiffering with those fat tits in your life. I think that's a fair trade off. You are glowing right now. Yeah. I see you picturing them and there's a sparkle in your eye.

• 1:11:18Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, dude, I'm thinking if I had a wife with huge tits like this, I'm like, I'm hiring a cleaning lady. And fucking my huge titted wife. That's the solution. But look, I see the, even in Canada, the economy's not so hot. So we'll, maybe not ruin the budget for a chore, dude. I got it, I got it. Sure. Um, okay. So let, first of all, shout out to her. I love when we have a sloppy woman. They don't really get a representation. I love her. I mean, yeah, I mean, on paper, this, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She sounds a lot like me. I'm also like, I want to watch this sitcom. Yeah, it is a good sitcom because we flipped it. We have flipped it, yes.

• 1:11:56Speaker 01

  Maybe we need to do this more.

• 1:11:57Stavros Halkias?

  The Queen of Kings? Yeah.

• 1:12:00Stavros Halkias?

  Kings County. Kings County. She's in Brooklyn, nobody knows. Yeah, look it up, folks. It's actually Kings County. That's true. Which is, it, yeah, it's a great name.

• 1:12:08Speaker 01

  Kings County?

• 1:12:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of wasted on Brooklyn because Brooklyn is so, Brooklyn gets two good names.

• 1:12:14Speaker 01

  Two awesome names.

• 1:12:15Stavros Halkias?

  You never call it Kings County. Probably you, you probably have some like really annoying burger restaurant. That's just like Kings County provisions. You know what I mean?

• 1:12:24Speaker 01

  There's a Chinese restaurant, Kings County Imperial.

• 1:12:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, anyway, back to the matter at hand here. You are, as, as the father, this feels like a question you should really field in terms of the added messiness of children.

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  I would say, all right, so right.

• 1:12:40Stavros Halkias?

  And what, what you did going into having, yeah, yeah, kids, yeah.

• 1:12:43Speaker 01

  Like, number one, uh, you should build a bridge of communication with your wife. Clearly this guy needs to talk to you.

• 1:12:50Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  Like, this is pissing him off.

• 1:12:52Stavros Halkias?

  He's so pissed off, you can hear it.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  He's gr-.

• 1:12:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, let's fuck, maybe fuck him while the pan's still warm. It's like, we don't need that level of specifics.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  He's seething.

• 1:13:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  Like, alright, they've been married 10 years.

• 1:13:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:05Speaker 01

  So did they get married young or something?

• 1:13:06Stavros Halkias?

  I guess, yeah.

• 1:13:07Speaker 01

  Okay, cuz like they're talking about just, they're just starting to think about having kids, like, okay.

• 1:13:12Stavros Halkias?

  It sounds like he's probably somebody already, like, if I had to guess, somebody gets married in their mid twenties, they're in their mid thirties, and they're like, hey, it's shit or get off the pot time. They're probably making the decision of, are we gonna have kids or not? That's kinda how I read the situation.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  So I think like, have kids, you should go for it, why not? What else are you gonna do?

• 1:13:30Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  Maybe have a few conversations, just, just, just conversations. I'm not saying she needs to start doing chores.

• 1:13:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  I just think this guy maybe needs to talk to his wife.

• 1:13:38Stavros Halkias?

  I think, yes, in general, the bigger thing out of all of this, I think you're right, is, yes, talk about the, I think, I think it's fair to talk about like, chore stuff, sure.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Sure, boring shit like this.

• 1:13:50Stavros Halkias?

  But more important, it's talk about when stuff pisses you off.

• 1:13:53Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 1:13:54Stavros Halkias?

  You have.

• 1:13:54Speaker 01

  You need to be able to address whatever elephants in the room for you.

• 1:13:58Stavros Halkias?

  Especially cuz kids, you're worried about your house being messy, you, you should be even more worried about, like, the, like, you know, the metaphorical messiness of your relationship.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:14:08Stavros Halkias?

  If you throw kids into the mix, and you can't even fucking tell your wife you're annoyed at her, how she, like, the distribution of chores, it's been a decade.

• 1:14:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:16Stavros Halkias?

  And you haven't fucking brought it up, that's way harder to bring kids into than like, having to

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  Having plates.

• 1:14:23Stavros Halkias?

  Clean up a little bit, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  But the second thing is, if mess pisses you off this much, which might be what's going on with this guy.

• 1:14:29Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 1:14:30Speaker 01

  If you have kids, your house is gonna be fucking messy.

• 1:14:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  So like, get ready for that, I guess, I don't know, like.

• 1:14:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good point.

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  Like, the dishes won't get done as fast, like, if there's a kid around.

• 1:14:41Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:14:42Speaker 01

  Mac and cheese pot every night.

• 1:14:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're probably, you're just probably eating out of the pot, a perpetual pot of mac and cheese.

• 1:14:48Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I should, I should have a cauldron of it.

• 1:14:50Stavros Halkias?

  You should have a cauldron, like, where it never runs out.

• 1:14:54Speaker 01

  Fucking annies for everybody.

• 1:14:56Speaker 02

  I think all the time about the sort of follow up profile on Marie Kondo like a year or two ago.

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Where now that she has kids.

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  Kids and she was like.

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:15:06Speaker 02

  I don't know what the fuck I was talking about.

• 1:15:08Speaker 01

  Hurricane hit my house.

• 1:15:09Speaker 02

  Truly, there's, it was, I think it was New York Times and there was a big photo of her surrounded with shit all over the floor. And she's like, that was a cute idea.

• 1:15:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 1:15:17Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, I understood that.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  Say goodbye to your T-shirt like when you throw it away.

• 1:15:21Speaker 02

  But that, that is.

• 1:15:22Stavros Halkias?

  I put my grandmother's ashes in a landfill because of you, Marie Kondo. Didn't bring me joy. Now you have eight Hello Kitty's plushies on your fucking couch.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:15:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's very funny, too, because it's like, I do, I read into that, too, and it's like, that's clear, that just did not take, that she was not successful in Japan.

• 1:15:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:40Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it was, I think it was just like people not understanding Japan and being like, well, we must honorably clean our homes like those Samurai. Like that, that was kind of the vibe when she was coming around.

• 1:15:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:52Stavros Halkias?

  And like in Japan, they're like, everyone's a hoarder. They don't really give a fuck. Like truly, they were like, this is fucking bullshit. So that's funny to hear. I didn't even know that even she herself was like.

• 1:16:01Speaker 02

  What the fuck was that?

• 1:16:01Stavros Halkias?

  That was bullshit.

• 1:16:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:02Stavros Halkias?

  When did that come out?

• 1:16:04Speaker 02

  That was like a year or two ago, if you can find this.

• 1:16:05Stavros Halkias?

  No, that was longer than that.

• 1:16:06Speaker 02

  Oh, the original?

• 1:16:07Stavros Halkias?

  The original, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  The theory was like 10 years ago, right?

• 1:16:09Stavros Halkias?

  Was it?

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:10Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember when it, I mean, I remember her sweeping the fucking nation, but I don't remember.

• 1:16:14Speaker 01

  It was, it was, I was still living in. 2019.

• 1:16:17Stavros Halkias?

  Nineteen, yeah.

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  Okay, so not even 10 years ago.

• 1:16:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:19Speaker 01

  I was still, I was still living in bedside, cause I remember my girlfriend, now wife, like did the thing where she's like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna open every drawer. I'm gonna say goodbye to the sweaters. Like, I'll give them a hug and then throw them away or whatever you do. Yeah.

• 1:16:32Stavros Halkias?

  I think I could use, I do come from a long line of hoarders.

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:16:35Stavros Halkias?

  Like my, on my dad's side, my fucking aunt loves bullshit little figurines from Europe. You know what I mean?

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  You've been to our studio.

• 1:16:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad is kind of a hoarder, like, and I have it, and I feel it. I feel it coming over.

• 1:16:50Speaker 01

  Like, what do you want to hoard?

• 1:16:52Stavros Halkias?

  I, I, I. I mean, probably, once we started on the bus, you, as movie guys, you'll appreciate this, we have a type of movie that is a bus movie.

• 1:17:01Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:17:01Stavros Halkias?

  And so it's like, it can't be too good.

• 1:17:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:04Stavros Halkias?

  And it's not, sometimes they're Blu-rays, but mostly they're just lo-fi DVDs.

• 1:17:07Speaker 02

  You have a big stack of DVDs primarily, are these the bus movies?

• 1:17:11Stavros Halkias?

  Those are bus movies. We have, I also have a separate thing of like actually good movies. Um, I could see myself just kind of collecting that, but it's duty, it's just. Just, I just have sent, I attach sentimental value to bullshit.

• 1:17:23Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:17:23Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? And it's just like a hard, well, I can't throw this away.

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:27Stavros Halkias?

  I fucking had a good time in this shirt eight years ago.

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  I, I got.

• 1:17:30Stavros Halkias?

  And someday I might lose a hundred pounds and fit into it.

• 1:17:33Speaker 01

  I have that, I have the aspirational clothes. You're like, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fit in this jacket.

• 1:17:37Stavros Halkias?

  There's a garage in Queens with four fucking plastic tubs of like tracksuits from like 5XL to 1X. Where it's like, hmm, I wonder where I'll be next winter. You know what I mean?

• 1:17:49Speaker 01

  It's like, where I'm like, yeah, people like, look like they did when they were 20 again, all the time. When they grow older.

• 1:17:56Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  Like, I'm like, I don't know.

• 1:17:58Stavros Halkias?

  At least you will, before you know it, be giving that to your children.

• 1:18:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:01Stavros Halkias?

  I have no, I have nothing. I have nowhere to give. You'll give it to like a university. That's true. They'll collapse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Stavros Archives. I'll give, yeah, I'll, I'll lend some of my tracksuits to like, when you're getting bariatric surgery. And it's like, they need like, if, if the hospital gown doesn't fit you, I have some fucking, uh, tracksuits you can wear.

• 1:18:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:18:22Stavros Halkias?

  Preparing for, although I guess, you know, I will say, if, if Ozempic and the, and GLP-1s in general have done anything, they've kind of stolen the stomach stapling, the, the.

• 1:18:31Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:31Stavros Halkias?

  The, that's gone.

• 1:18:32Speaker 01

  It's surgery. Do you want major surgery? You want to just like do this?

• 1:18:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe that doesn't even. Those have become like BlackBerry phones. Yeah. I know, I feel bad for the people that got, like, there's one last guy that got bariatric surgery.

• 1:18:46Speaker 01

  Before Ozempic hit the market.

• 1:18:47Stavros Halkias?

  As Ozempic was happening, yeah. Sorry for those guys. Um, all right, I think we answered the, oh, yeah, that's, we, yeah, have some communication. Um, sounds like you're mad as fuck. Also, like.

• 1:19:00Speaker 01

  Couples therapy, nothing wrong with it.

• 1:19:01Stavros Halkias?

  Also, you might just have, you might be the cleanup guy.

• 1:19:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, that's the thing. Sometimes it breaks down that way.

• 1:19:06Stavros Halkias?

  No matter what relationship I'll ever be in or whoever, like, I will, I, even when I'm trying my hardest, I am an insanely messy person. Same. And the first thing I did, like, uh, like, there was one month where my therapist went, uh, on vacation and I just put that money towards a cleaning lady. And I was like, this is so much more helpful to me.

• 1:19:28Speaker 01

  Than like, than mental health.

• 1:19:29Stavros Halkias?

  Than fucking talking. And so like to me, that was a thing I did, even before things like when I, when I had roommates, I was like, guys, I know I'm not gonna fucking, I just know I am not.

• 1:19:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:40Stavros Halkias?

  So how about every, like twice a month, I'll pay for a cleaning lady? And it was just like, cause I just know I don't have that in me.

• 1:19:46Speaker 01

  That's awareness.

• 1:19:47Speaker 02

  Negotiating the balance of like, if this is my zone, then what are the things you're doing?

• 1:19:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:52Speaker 02

  You know?

• 1:19:53Stavros Halkias?

  I think we know.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  I think we know what his wife's bringing to the fucking table.

• 1:20:01Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:20:02Stavros Halkias?

  No, but yes, obviously.

• 1:20:03Speaker 02

  But like, maybe it's not like this is a relationship that can ever be built around a chore wheel. Maybe you are the chore wheel.

• 1:20:10Stavros Halkias?

  You're the chore guy.

• 1:20:10Speaker 02

  And there are other things.

• 1:20:11Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. There's other divisions of labor.

• 1:20:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, you've got, you've got, again, this is why communication is key. Cause it's like, fundamentally, he probably doesn't want her cleaning the bathroom, whatever, cause she's not gonna do the job he wants.

• 1:20:23Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Well, that's, that's, I've had those relationships or just even friendships where it's like, or roommate situations where they're like, where I did clean to the best of my ability.

• 1:20:32Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:20:32Speaker 02

  But you have different energies.

• 1:20:34Stavros Halkias?

  It was bad and it's like, alright, well, get off my dick.

• 1:20:36Speaker 01

  Like, I did it, right.

• 1:20:38Stavros Halkias?

  I wasn't even half-assing it. I did try.

• 1:20:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:20:41Stavros Halkias?

  It's not my fault. You take a fucking toothbrush to the grout and shit. It's like, I'm not fucking doing that.

• 1:20:44Speaker 02

  And I think that's a question you should ask yourself. Is the thing that's making you mad more that you feel like you're forced to do all of this by default? Or that you are made angry by the mess?

• 1:20:57Speaker 01

  Do you think?

• 1:20:57Speaker 02

  Right? Is it, is it that the responsibility's on you? Or is it the existence of the mess in general?

• 1:21:02Stavros Halkias?

  Do you see every mess as her, like, insulting you?

• 1:21:05Speaker 02

  Or you're just someone who stresses out when you see a mess?

• 1:21:07Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  In which case, then you ask bigger kids questions.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  Or you just say perky H-cup to yourself? Which used to be like this little mantra.

• 1:21:16Stavros Halkias?

  That's, that would work. That's not a bad mantra. I think, I don't think I could get a lot of meditation done if I'm just taking a big fat tits. Or I would, or I would just be smiling so much. Maybe that, I'll try that tomorrow.

• 1:21:28Speaker 02

  You're glowing again.

• 1:21:31Stavros Halkias?

  Hit us with another question, little LD.

• 1:21:35Speaker 08

  Hi, I got this new job, but I'm having some issues with work. My boss's boss and his team are in Australia. And whenever we get on one of these Zoom calls, I actually have a lot of difficulty understanding what they're saying. I'm always asking them to clarify and repeat themselves. And now they think I'm a total idiot. And I don't understand anything and they keep taking responsibilities away from me. So I don't know what to do. Should I speak up and say that it's really just, I don't understand their accent? Or should I just sit back, take less responsibility?

• 1:22:16Stavros Halkias?

  I actually do have an answer for this. Yeah, go ahead.

• 1:22:20Speaker 08

  Thanks a lot.

• 1:22:21Stavros Halkias?

  I know what I'm thinking. Please, go ahead. Zoom sucks. This is a Zoom issue.

• 1:22:25Speaker 01

  Fuck Zoom.

• 1:22:26Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, because I think, I think the solution is you need to watch Australian media.

• 1:22:31Speaker 01

  This is exactly what I was gonna say. Just a diet. Just watch a shit ton of movies.

• 1:22:36Speaker 02

  You need to train your brain, but I also think maybe like find a pipeline to more email communication.

• 1:22:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, sure. I mean, he also slips in there like, should I just accept less responsibilities? And I'm like, I mean, it sounds okay.

• 1:22:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're kind of living the corporate dream where it's like.

• 1:22:52Speaker 01

  Where they're like, and he's like, what? And they're like, don't even fucking worry about it.

• 1:22:56Stavros Halkias?

  How you fucking tell him?

• 1:22:58Speaker 02

  But like Croc Duncey trilogy.

• 1:23:01Stavros Halkias?

  He can't hear anything on the Zoomo.

• 1:23:03Speaker 01

  Have you been down there?

• 1:23:04Stavros Halkias?

  I like Duncey. We did a, we did a Come Town tour a long time ago and I want to go back. I wanted to go back this year, but it just didn't work out. I'm gonna figure out a way to like, I need a year of my life where I spend, I have no winter whatsoever. So I think I'm gonna spend.

• 1:23:21Speaker 01

  Just like stack summers across hemispheres.

• 1:23:24Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, I'm not even kidding. I might go. Maybe, I don't want to say anything. I don't want to get Australia too fucking pumped up.

• 1:23:30Speaker 01

  Right, sorry, sorry.

• 1:23:30Stavros Halkias?

  But I'd love to go maybe next winter. Like, I'd love to spend like December there or some shit.

• 1:23:36Speaker 01

  Their summer, right.

• 1:23:36Stavros Halkias?

  Their summer, yeah, yeah. Or even, I went in, we went in October and it was really nice. So maybe like November, but the fall in New York is so nice that I feel like, I feel like January, February in Australia might be fucking awesome.

• 1:23:47Speaker 01

  I mean, we just, January, February just fucking sucked here. Like, that, that, that's, I love New York so much, but like, those are the indefensible months. This was loser shit.

• 1:23:56Stavros Halkias?

  This was the one year I wasn't on tour too.

• 1:23:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:58Stavros Halkias?

  Where I, well, I was, but in, in this part of the-

• 1:24:01Speaker 01

  In the northeast, right.

• 1:24:02Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like, in the past, I've been on the west coast. Like, last year, we were on the west coast. It was fucking awesome. Like, we bare, we needed light jackets most of it. It was so nice.

• 1:24:10Speaker 01

  It's so nice today. It's gonna be cold against you.

• 1:24:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. No, I'm, dude, believe me, the nice days in New York, I've spent fucking shooting or podcasting for nine hours a day.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  Sucks. Yeah, sucks.

• 1:24:21Stavros Halkias?

  But I, I think you're right.

• 1:24:22Speaker 01

  Our jobs are great. What are we talking about? No, it's bullshit.

• 1:24:24Speaker 02

  The broadest, most cartoony Australian.

• 1:24:26Speaker 01

  Yes, yes. Don't watch the subtle arthouse stuff. You need to watch like Crocodile Dundee.

• 1:24:31Stavros Halkias?

  I think you need a range.

• 1:24:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe you need a range.

• 1:24:33Stavros Halkias?

  Where people, where people are whispering.

• 1:24:35Speaker 02

  But I also, you know, watch the extreme stuff so that they sound really kind of direct and clean to you, you know? And, and then I also think like-

• 1:24:45Stavros Halkias?

  Even like Australian TV shit you don't even know about.

• 1:24:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, sketch comedy, whatever. Like, find, find whatevers, you know, what was that?

• 1:24:52Speaker 02

  Yahoo, serious?

• 1:24:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know. What was that show where it's like, a guy dressed up as like a high school student?

• 1:24:59Speaker 02

  Oh, Summer High Tide.

• 1:25:01Stavros Halkias?

  Isn't that Australian?

• 1:25:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, all of that guy knows.

• 1:25:03Speaker 01

  New Zealand. I don't want to paint with a black, bro.

• 1:25:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it's New Zealand.

• 1:25:07Speaker 02

  I think that guy's Australian and he has several shows.

• 1:25:09Speaker 01

  There's a lot of him, right?

• 1:25:10Speaker 02

  All of them feature at most only two blackface characters.

• 1:25:14Speaker 01

  It is one of those things where those, stuff travels from another country and they're like, this is our humor. And you're like-

• 1:25:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:20Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:25:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no. Mister In Between, is that Australian?

• 1:25:25Speaker 02

  That might be Australian.

• 1:25:26Stavros Halkias?

  Is that New Zealand too?

• 1:25:27Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:25:28Stavros Halkias?

  That was good. I watched that.

• 1:25:29Speaker 02

  Wasn't the Alaskan Wood Dog Show Australian?

• 1:25:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:33Stavros Halkias?

  Find some Australian media and watch it.

• 1:25:35Speaker 02

  Wilfred, Wilfred?

• 1:25:36Stavros Halkias?

  Wilfred, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:37Speaker 01

  We're doing Peter Weir on our podcast right now.

• 1:25:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice.

• 1:25:40Speaker 01

  And those early movies of his are Australian. They're good.

• 1:25:42Speaker 02

  Very Australian.

• 1:25:43Speaker 01

  What are the early ones? What are those? It's like Gallipoli and

• 1:25:46Stavros Halkias?

  Cars that ate parrots.

• 1:25:48Speaker 01

  Picnic and Hanging Rock.

• 1:25:51Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:51Speaker 01

  Um, the last wave. Like all that shit. And then he like goes to Hollywood and is a king, like, but doesn't do Australian shit anymore.

• 1:25:59Stavros Halkias?

  Um, yeah, they love Australians love pretending they were American the whole time.

• 1:26:02Speaker 01

  They're so, they're so good.

• 1:26:03Stavros Halkias?

  Like they just immediately, like honestly, Hemsworth is the only one who's really kept the accent.

• 1:26:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:08Stavros Halkias?

  They all lose the accent.

• 1:26:09Speaker 01

  Liam lost it.

• 1:26:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:10Speaker 02

  The Mel thing is crazy, especially watching his movies.

• 1:26:13Speaker 01

  Nothing else about him is crazy.

• 1:26:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:16Speaker 01

  It's so regular.

• 1:26:17Stavros Halkias?

  But it is funny because it's like, he really feels like an American racist now.

• 1:26:22Speaker 01

  Yes, he like embraced it wholeheartedly.

• 1:26:24Stavros Halkias?

  Crazy, which is like he has, cause like Australians are also very racist.

• 1:26:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:28Stavros Halkias?

  But they're a different type of racist.

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  They're racist and people in there.

• 1:26:32Stavros Halkias?

  He's a classic American.

• 1:26:33Speaker 02

  Right. That's what made him such a megastar is he figured out how to synthesize both.

• 1:26:37Stavros Halkias?

  He did.

• 1:26:37Speaker 01

  He did.

• 1:26:38Speaker 02

  The Australian and the American racism.

• 1:26:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Really a shame we had to lose Mel. I mean, dude, honestly.

• 1:26:43Speaker 01

  You want Mel back?

• 1:26:44Stavros Halkias?

  The, the, I'm telling you this fucking, whatever is like Passion of the Christ two he's gonna make, it's going to destroy.

• 1:26:50Speaker 02

  It's gonna destroy.

• 1:26:51Stavros Halkias?

  It cause like a fucking Kevin Sorbo movie will make a hundred million dollars.

• 1:26:55Speaker 02

  It's Return of the King shit.

• 1:26:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's gonna be insane.

• 1:26:57Speaker 01

  He's identified a healthy market. He probably should have gotten it out like last year. Like I, like maybe it's curdling, but I think he'll.

• 1:27:04Speaker 02

  Isn't it a two parter?

• 1:27:05Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:27:06Speaker 02

  Recast Caviezel.

• 1:27:06Speaker 01

  It is also funny that he's like.

• 1:27:08Stavros Halkias?

  Part two. I don't think it's a two parter.

• 1:27:09Speaker 02

  I think it is the continuation and he's announced it's now a two part.

• 1:27:13Speaker 01

  It's, but it's Christ back, right? Christ back.

• 1:27:17Speaker 02

  He's back bigger than ever.

• 1:27:18Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, honestly, the sto, the, some of the biblical stuff about like the one, the Messiah that Jews thought they were gonna get sounds awesome.

• 1:27:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:27:26Stavros Halkias?

  Like to me, I'm like, I wanna see the movie of the Messiah that comes from hell.

• 1:27:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:27:31Stavros Halkias?

  Kills the devil.

• 1:27:32Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:27:32Stavros Halkias?

  And then comes up and just fucking decapitates the world. Like.

• 1:27:35Speaker 02

  That's classic Mel Gibson shit. That's the kind of character he's.

• 1:27:38Stavros Halkias?

  It would be awesome if he did that.

• 1:27:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:40Stavros Halkias?

  And I just would love to see that movie. That's an interesting movie to me.

• 1:27:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:44Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but I'm telling you, Mel's gonna go, this one is gonna do numbers. There's no way it's not.

• 1:27:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:50Stavros Halkias?

  Because all that slop, he's, whatever you wanna say about him, he's a, I mean, his, his Republican revenge crime movies.

• 1:27:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:57Stavros Halkias?

  Are awesome. They're so good.

• 1:27:59Speaker 02

  He's a good filmmaker.

• 1:28:01Stavros Halkias?

  Him and fucking Vince Vaughn being Republican cops.

• 1:28:04Speaker 01

  Oh dude, what's that, Dragged Across Concrete?

• 1:28:06Stavros Halkias?

  Dragged Across Concrete?

• 1:28:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:07Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome!

• 1:28:08Speaker 01

  That movie is really good.

• 1:28:09Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome!

• 1:28:10Speaker 01

  It's really weird.

• 1:28:11Stavros Halkias?

  Like, they're all weird because they're all weird because they also go through pains to be like, "We're actually not racist." We're like, "My best friend is a black guy who I listen to jazz." Like, they all listen to jazz or blues or some shit.

• 1:28:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:28:24Stavros Halkias?

  And then they like, they like, beat up, uh, every ethnicity in prison.

• 1:28:27Speaker 02

  That's the big thing, right?

• 1:28:28Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:28:29Speaker 02

  Right. I actually just hate humanity.

• 1:28:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, those are bangers. Those are bad, like, and I like, there's nothing wrong with enjoying fascist filmmaking.

• 1:28:39Speaker 02

  We, we also-

• 1:28:40Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, what, Cobra? That's fascist.

• 1:28:42Speaker 02

  We've covered so many movies he's in as an actor and you are just like, "That guy is so captivated." And part of it is the like, caged animal mania in him and the darkness and everything?

• 1:28:53Speaker 01

  The deal with Cobra is that's when Sly's gonna be in Beverly Hills Cop and when-

• 1:28:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:28:57Speaker 01

  And when he's like, working on the script, he's like, "So I'll be in it."

• 1:29:00Speaker 02

  He literally-

• 1:29:01Speaker 01

  So I think Beverly Hills Cop should like, blow criminals' faces off and shit. And they're like, "Oh, we're going for more of a comedy thing." He's like, "Oh, that's cool. I'm gonna turn this into Cobra."

• 1:29:08Speaker 02

  He quits Beverly Hills Cop less than two months before it starts filming. Everyone else had been cast, crew staffed up.

• 1:29:15Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone else?

• 1:29:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:16Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't know that.

• 1:29:17Speaker 02

  Truly. And then he's like, "Fine, we're on different pages. I'll go take my notes and make something else."

• 1:29:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:22Speaker 02

  And Cobra was like, "Here's all the shit I wanted in Beverly Hills Cop."

• 1:29:25Stavros Halkias?

  And we got to equally iconic movies. But like- To me, anyway.

• 1:29:29Speaker 02

  But Eddie Murphy only ends up in that because they've built a movie that has to go. And they're like, "I don't know, we're watching dailies for 48 hours."

• 1:29:36Stavros Halkias?

  And how much better, I mean, that's the perf- I mean, and that's what it takes to get that famous. Things have to really break a certain way.

• 1:29:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:42Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, right place, right time. Now, let me ask you this. You guys might know about the, is the Cobra director's cut anywhere? Is the Cobra Stallone cut?

• 1:29:50Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:29:50Stavros Halkias?

  Cause he, you don't know this?

• 1:29:51Speaker 02

  No, I do know this.

• 1:29:52Stavros Halkias?

  He turned in a three-hour cut of Cobra.

• 1:29:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:55Stavros Halkias?

  And if you watch the movie, it kinda makes sense, cause-

• 1:29:57Speaker 01

  The movie's in- here.

• 1:29:58Stavros Halkias?

  There's all this cult shit.

• 1:29:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:29:59Stavros Halkias?

  They don't ever go back to it.

• 1:30:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:01Stavros Halkias?

  But it is cool. Anyway, I love Cobra. I like Cobra.

• 1:30:04Speaker 02

  That movie is his drafts folder, though. It's every loose idea he had that got rejected from a different movie.

• 1:30:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:11Speaker 01

  No, I did.

• 1:30:11Stavros Halkias?

  But I would love to see the fucking.

• 1:30:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:14Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think it exists, but. He did the Rocky.

• 1:30:16Speaker 01

  I will. He did the Rocky thing.

• 1:30:17Speaker 02

  The Rocky recut recently.

• 1:30:18Speaker 01

  But the Rocky recut's weird.

• 1:30:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:20Speaker 01

  Where he like takes the robot out of Rocky IV. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:24Stavros Halkias?

  I don't like this goofy shit.

• 1:30:25Speaker 02

  And I'm like.

• 1:30:26Stavros Halkias?

  Who cares?

• 1:30:27Speaker 02

  Isn't that kind of fun to Polly fox a robot?

• 1:30:29Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that is fun. That's fun. It also puts it in the play, in the like time of it. Yeah. Um. But it's a, the Stallone movies have a little more of that edge to them, whereas the Arnie movies don't as much like, and I love the Arnie movies, but like they don't really have a political edge. It's more just like, look at this guy.

• 1:30:44Stavros Halkias?

  No, they don't. In fact, aren't, I mean, by working with Verhoeven, it's almost like, it's almost like anti fascist. I mean, the thing about, I mean, he literally, his dad was a fucking Nazi. So it's like, I think where Stallone is like a fucking Italian who wants to be fascist.

• 1:31:00Speaker 01

  Exactly. Whereas Arnie's like, that is bad. Like, I escaped that. I'm not interested in that.

• 1:31:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 1:31:05Speaker 01

  I want to be a sort of centrist Republican governor.

• 1:31:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to know about how cool fucking mansion is. Come to my cigar tent.

• 1:31:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:13Stavros Halkias?

  Discuss bills.

• 1:31:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:31:14Speaker 02

  Arnie has the thing where he was like, I want to hand myself over to good directors. Yeah. Something to say.

• 1:31:20Stavros Halkias?

  The man has to trust them. It's so.

• 1:31:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:23Stavros Halkias?

  It is the thing where you're like, what if a guy who looks like this was smart as fuck and true as fuck? And usually it does, a guy that looks like that, but he, if anything, his biggest talent is understanding like how, how he's perceived.

• 1:31:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, how to use himself.

• 1:31:38Stavros Halkias?

  And where he fits in.

• 1:31:39Speaker 01

  How to use against type and all that shit.

• 1:31:41Speaker 02

  And judging good collaborators.

• 1:31:42Stavros Halkias?

  And like he's, he's, I mean, he's on a run where his taste is unbelievable.

• 1:31:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:46Stavros Halkias?

  And I think having good taste is what really makes him, and also it makes it clear like why he could fucking achieve anything.

• 1:31:52Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:31:52Stavros Halkias?

  Cause he knew who to surround himself with no matter what, but.

• 1:31:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then Stallone is like, I know better than everyone.

• 1:31:58Speaker 01

  Right. And it swings wildly. It's like, sometimes you got it, man.

• 1:32:01Speaker 02

  These are all personal expression.

• 1:32:03Stavros Halkias?

  But I respect that as an, I mean, and it also is nice to see, yes, you can be a juice head Italian and truly be an artist.

• 1:32:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, which he is.

• 1:32:11Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone can be an artist. Every type of person can be

• 1:32:13Speaker 01

  What I love about Segal and Van Damme is you're just like, as they get more famous, you just watch the guardrails go away and it gets worse.

• 1:32:22Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:32:22Speaker 01

  Like, and it's just like, uniform. There's no like, oh no, there's a good one later. They're like, no, no, no. Less people say no, more people say yes. The movies get dumber.

• 1:32:31Stavros Halkias?

  Segal for sure. Is there one good late Van Damme at any point?

• 1:32:35Speaker 01

  I think the later Van Dammes are kind of weird and he's got kind of a weird...

• 1:32:39Speaker 02

  The Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning. Have you seen that movie?

• 1:32:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, have you seen the Universal Soldier weird sequels?

• 1:32:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, but that's the one where-

• 1:32:47Speaker 01

  That are straight to video with Scott Atkins and stuff?

• 1:32:49Speaker 02

  But that's the thing, they move him off of being the lead.

• 1:32:51Speaker 01

  Cause he's older.

• 1:32:52Speaker 02

  And the movie rules and he's incredible in it. It's a great performance.

• 1:32:55Speaker 01

  They're fucking great.

• 1:32:56Speaker 02

  I love Scott Atkins. It's him and Dolph back. It's a fucking awesome movie. Day of Reckoning.

• 1:33:02Speaker 01

  Ooh, that sounds fucking odd. Now that's a bust movie if I've ever fucking heard one.

• 1:33:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a great bust movie.

• 1:33:08Speaker 01

  Great, great stuff.

• 1:33:10Speaker 03

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• 1:33:55Speaker 06

  Dana, listen, I want to talk to you about something. Every Thursday, you do know that we're hanging out with some of the biggest names in comedy and entertainment, right?

• 1:34:03Stavros Halkias?

  Are you kidding me? Who's been on this show?

• 1:34:06Speaker 06

  We have great people, a lot of fun. And Mondays, it's you and I to ourselves. We riff on life, pop culture, clips, online, every stupid thing. So, everybody out there, join us Mondays, Thursdays, fly on the wall, wherever you get your podcasts. It's a lot of fun, it's a lot of laughs, and it's a lot of stupidity.

• 1:34:26Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, I forget the, we're just, we're going through tangi- oh yeah, watch Australian TV.

• 1:34:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:30Stavros Halkias?

  Let's do a couple more here. We got a man with three children he's gotta get back to. That's true.

• 1:34:34Speaker 09

  Hey, hey, Eldis, uh, esteemed guests. So, my question today is about eating ass.

• 1:34:42Stavros Halkias?

  Being what?

• 1:34:43Speaker 09

  In my early twenties, I was dating an older woman.

• 1:34:46Stavros Halkias?

  Getting ass?

• 1:34:48Speaker 09

  Who ate my ass one time, you know?

• 1:34:50Speaker 01

  Eating ass.

• 1:34:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, eating ass, okay, that's why he had the childish giggles.

• 1:34:55Speaker 09

  My early twenties, I was dating an older woman.

• 1:34:59Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:34:59Speaker 09

  Who ate my ass one time, and I was like, wow, this is great. Never, never have I wanted something so much and not known until I received it. And, uh, over the years, I dated around a little bit, uh, and I noticed, when I noticed, whenever I would date outside my race, um.

• 1:35:17Stavros Halkias?

  This guy's Asian.

• 1:35:18Speaker 09

  They would always reciprocate the rim job. So if I, a black girl, Latinas, Asian girl.

• 1:35:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh no, he's white.

• 1:35:24Speaker 09

  They would reciprocate. And now, uh, I've been in this relationship with this girl for about four months.

• 1:35:29Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know if that makes me a racist, but all my Asian friends have that specific laugh where they kinda interrupt themselves. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:35:35Speaker 02

  When they talk about the older women.

• 1:35:36Stavros Halkias?

  And especially when they get a little embarrassed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for real. I'm not even joking.

• 1:35:40Speaker 02

  There's so much going on in this call.

• 1:35:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, okay, so this guy, okay, so he's, when he, when he dated outside of his race.

• 1:35:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, he's white women are right.

• 1:35:50Stavros Halkias?

  Part one is, he dated an older woman, she ate his ass.

• 1:35:52Speaker 02

  He didn't know he wanted it until it happened, and it was so happened.

• 1:35:55Speaker 01

  Part two is, later, when he dated outside of his race, it would happen again, or that, or it would go both of them would.

• 1:36:02Stavros Halkias?

  Only when he dated outside of his race, did they reciprocate.

• 1:36:07Speaker 02

  But no one would have. He's initiating, if they're returning it.

• 1:36:10Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure. I will say, you're not, I, I, I wouldn't even put it across racial lines, I don't think most women think a rim job is a reciprocable thing. I think they see getting their ass eaten, this sort of eating pussy adjacent. Yeah. And that it's a slut, it's a specialty item on the men's oral sex side. But it's a, it's an add-on, but it's a standard add-on for a woman. Right, like what's. For a man, it's like a whole other menu item.

• 1:36:37Speaker 02

  What's like the squid that has like 10% chance of killing you?

• 1:36:41Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, but yeah, right, yeah, the uni or what? But like, it's a menu item like when you get to the restaurant and they're like, by the way, we do a souffle, you have to order it now.

• 1:36:50Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 1:36:51Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, you need to announce this, like, you need to do a little bit.

• 1:36:54Speaker 02

  We run out early.

• 1:36:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right, exactly.

• 1:36:56Speaker 02

  We have to put it in a 30 day.

• 1:36:58Stavros Halkias?

  You can't spring the souffle order on us when you're wrapping up.

• 1:37:01Speaker 02

  You need to make a choice before.

• 1:37:03Stavros Halkias?

  You need to build the runway here.

• 1:37:04Speaker 02

  Even before you pick still or tap water, you know, like sparkling or bottled.

• 1:37:09Stavros Halkias?

  Let us know if you want this plate. Whereas for women getting their ass eaten feels like, hey, you could add fries for, you know, two bucks. And on it, it's like, do that anytime.

• 1:37:15Speaker 02

  It's an easy option. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:17Stavros Halkias?

  So it makes so far so, this all, this all checks out. It's been over, yeah.

• 1:37:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, we just had to take a break.

• 1:37:23Stavros Halkias?

  We just had to take a break.

• 1:37:24Speaker 09

  Uh, I've been in this relationship with this girl for about four months and we're both white and, uh.

• 1:37:30Stavros Halkias?

  The, the. I don't love it. Making it race reliant. Again, I've, in fact, elders, we don't want to dox anyone, but a white woman did eat your ass. Isn't that famously so?

• 1:37:41Speaker 04

  Uh, actually two.

• 1:37:44Speaker 02

  One less famous than the other, I guess.

• 1:37:46Speaker 04

  This was in the same kind of era, you know?

• 1:37:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, of course.

• 1:37:49Speaker 04

  I think, I think part of that was like, it was 2015 when there was like a lot of ass eating mania.

• 1:37:55Stavros Halkias?

  It was, it was in the zeitgeist. Girls on HBO, I'm trying to think like, what, we like to cross over to mainstream media?

• 1:38:01Speaker 02

  It's a pre-Trump optimism in the air.

• 1:38:04Stavros Halkias?

  We can do anything. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:38:07Speaker 04

  I feel like people were like feeling extra good about eating ass back then.

• 1:38:10Stavros Halkias?

  Definitely in the culture, yes.

• 1:38:12Speaker 04

  And when it happened to me these two times, I mean, I was surprised because I didn't even ask for it or like expect it, but I was like, hey, this is kind of cool. And you know, I haven't really dipped my toes in the water since that era, but.

• 1:38:26Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, you want to talk about, those women are braver than the first responders.

• 1:38:31Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:38:31Stavros Halkias?

  Eating your ass unannounced, dude. Instead of, they fucking. Chernobyl fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude.

• 1:38:38Speaker 04

  It made me feel so much more secure about my ass and hygiene because I was like, I was like, I would never eat my fucking ass.

• 1:38:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, right.

• 1:38:47Speaker 04

  I'd be like, put the bullet through my skull. I'm not doing that. But they did it. I was like, you know what? I do take care of myself. I bathe, I bathe thoroughly, especially in the ass area. And yeah, what's wrong with eating my ass, you know?

• 1:39:02Speaker 02

  It upped your confidence a little bit, yeah.

• 1:39:04Stavros Halkias?

  I also just want to call out after all your sort of like ethnicity guessing, he says, we're both white. The full Nick Weiger Elvis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're white. What? Um, all right, keep going, Elvis.

• 1:39:19Speaker 09

  Already eaten her ass, but she, she won't reciprocate and, um, I mean, it's, you know, it's fair game. It's whatever she wants to do, but at the same time, I kind of miss it. And, um, I don't know, I'm just looking, I'm trying to figure a way to politely ask for it. And, and be patient and respectful about it. Um.

• 1:39:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. You're like, hey, you're white. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you full white? Um, really not like a Mexican grandparent, nothing. Um, I would say you want to trick, oh, nice. Somebody's car alarm is going off. Uh, you could be like, oh, babe, you're, oh, do you need a, you want a piece of gum? I actually have one between my ass cheeks. You can maybe put mints in your asshole. Um, okay. Well, first of all, I think hilarious. Whatever. Who gives a fuck? Fuck this podcast. Fuck this guy too. Um, I think, I do think that, um, uh, this is, you're, you, him being so insistent about race is hilarious to me.

• 1:40:25Stavros Halkias?

  Because it has nothing to do with that. It's nothing to do with it. As if we're gonna be like, ah, of course. This anecdotal evidence. It's completely anecdotal and I would say like, I would say that, um. I also don't like that he listed the races. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, like a black girl, a, a Korean girl and a like, you know, I don't know whatever, whatever, you know, and like a, you know, Ecuadorian woman ate your ass. That's three out of a billion or whatever the fuck. Um, I think it has a lot more. I think some women, see, women really get, um, a pass on being homophobic. It never comes up a lot. Like you can hide behind just being a, a woman and you don't really have to, like, it's always surprising.

• 1:41:06Stavros Halkias?

  I guess I'll put it this way. It's surprising when a woman's homophobic to us, to me anyway. Cause I guess it's like, that's maybe weirdly misogyny where I'm like, oh. Women are good. Right, yeah. You know, and they're, but I will say, a lot of women, like when push comes to shove, do think, they might think it's gay to play with their man's ass. Whereas it's the opposite. The more I've thought about this philosophically, you want your ass played with so bad, but you're so straight. You won't go to the expert. You know what I mean? Like, cause if you want just the feeling of your ass played with the best, go to a gay guy. Right? But that's, you're straight, so you want a woman to do it.

• 1:41:42Speaker 02

  This is raising the key question for me, though. I know this caller's question was, how do I ask or bring it up?

• 1:41:47Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:41:48Speaker 02

  I respond to your question with a question for you. Is this the single most important thing in a relationship for you? Because the vibe in this call is that, like, you have identified a thing that you are incapable of being happy without.

• 1:42:03Stavros Halkias?

  He does seem he needs to get his ass.

• 1:42:04Speaker 02

  I don't know if you're just putting too much emphasis on this and how you're framing it to us.

• 1:42:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:42:08Speaker 02

  But i-if it's like a deal breaker, then that's a thing you gotta work through and front load in who you're dating, maybe.

• 1:42:15Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, yeah. Find the kind of freak, find ass eating freaks.

• 1:42:18Speaker 02

  R slash ass.

• 1:42:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. R slash manhole freak. Four months. They've been dating four months. I feel like you can just build up to this. Totally, totally. Four months isn't a long time. Four months is actually, I would say, it's just a little late. I think three months is right where you start showing the real, your true colors. Number one favorite. You know what I mean? Like, you're still like, ooh, it flipped over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's going on here? I think you can start amping up the, you're kind of in the window where it's still new enough that you, it doesn't have to be like, let's spice up. Yeah, you can just be like debuting new. It's new enough where it's like, let's add, let's add stuff to the thing.

• 1:42:58Speaker 02

  I think the ask is, have you ever before? I think it's a conversation about, right? You're months in, it's like, so what is your sexual history outside of us together? Together?

• 1:43:09Stavros Halkias?

  And what, and what races?

• 1:43:10Speaker 02

  Things you like? What are things you like? And even maybe offer them up.

• 1:43:13Stavros Halkias?

  And give us a whole taxonomic race breakdown.

• 1:43:16Speaker 02

  Flip the menu. But I think, offer up the like, are there things in the past you have liked that we haven't done before?

• 1:43:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there's stuff we wanted to get in the mix, yeah.

• 1:43:23Speaker 02

  Right, because you're talking about reciprocating, right?

• 1:43:25Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, he says he's already eaten her ass, I believe.

• 1:43:28Speaker 02

  He has said that.

• 1:43:29Stavros Halkias?

  So if he's already eating around, like, yeah, dude, look, you're just at the point now where you just talk about the stuff you want to try.

• 1:43:35Speaker 01

  Talk about it.

• 1:43:35Stavros Halkias?

  And if you're in a relationship, it's like, this is, this is kind of the window where you get to start. You've base, you've, in three to four months, you've sort of established your baseline sexual compatibility. And now you get to fuck, and in the first couple of years after that is where you start showing what the regular menu is. And then after, you know, five, 10 years is when you're like, let's just fucking get wild with it. Let's get, let's get.

• 1:44:01Speaker 01

  Charlie Sheen moment.

• 1:44:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

• 1:44:03Speaker 01

  But I mean, just don't, we say this, we're like, Charlie Sheen said it on a podcast. Where they're like, you ever fucked a guy and he's like, have I ever flipped the menu?

• 1:44:13Speaker 01

  It is the perfect metaphor for like, a mostly straight guy who's like, but I've tried shit.

• 1:44:19Speaker 02

  But the funniest thing is, he says this in this like interview leading up to the doc and the book coming out. Where he's gonna talk about his wider sexual history. We're like, oh, he's trying to come up with like a quick, kind of clean hooky way to talk about it. Then I pull up the doc, 15 menu minutes of metaphor.

• 1:44:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, he really, okay. It's almost like, you know, when you're young, you're looking at appetizer. And you're on to entrees, at a certain point, you want dessert. Dessert's not on the front of the menu.

• 1:44:48Speaker 01

  You go to the taco truck outside, you put your, you go to the, you go to the bathroom of the taco place, there's a hole in it, you put your dick through the hole of the bathroom.

• 1:44:56Stavros Halkias?

  A menu, it has items painted on the wall, but some things are off menu.

• 1:45:01Speaker 01

  I just think this guy shouldn't jam on the gas, you know what I mean? Like, if he is gonna ask, just, just ask in a chill way. Like, do not do this sort of like, by the way, it's life or death for me.

• 1:45:11Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally. Don't be like, hey, what's the deal?

• 1:45:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 1:45:15Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, I've been.

• 1:45:15Speaker 01

  Is it because you're white?

• 1:45:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. How about you eat my ass, honky? Don't say that.

• 1:45:24Speaker 01

  Mayo ass bitch won't even eat my ass.

• 1:45:26Stavros Halkias?

  I think we want to de racialize this entire. I would say let's take the race out of it.

• 1:45:31Speaker 01

  I hate it.

• 1:45:32Stavros Halkias?

  It is. I want to, I want to say that does, and look, you're not even talking to a guy who pretends sometimes there aren't stereotypes that are true. Okay? If this, if you had any leg to stand on.

• 1:45:45Speaker 01

  But my radar is not pinging.

• 1:45:47Stavros Halkias?

  There's just, this is not, I, you know, I'm not going to stop you from having a racist theory, but this particular one. Does the whole wall. Brothers. Or this one is not, this does not, you know, this doesn't, in fact, I would kind of think if anything, I, you know, there's plenty of like white girl freaks out there that might want to go over the top with being freaky to sort of like make them more interesting. I feel like you get that in a major city where it's like there is white, white guilt when like a cool, and like Brooklyn is so much that you have to pretend you're like bi when you're not. White ass eating guilt. How many girls from Connecticut pretend they're bi in their twenties because they're like, I can't be someone from Republican, with Republican parents that lives in Brooklyn that does that,

• 1:46:30Stavros Halkias?

  that has nothing about them. You know what I mean? That's my whole deal. Yeah, yeah. I think you have, I think, so anyway, I think your race science is wrong, but I do think you need to communicate with your girl and that you're not in any, this is normal. This is also not, in the grand scheme of things, it's really not crazy. Now, worst case scenario, she's just like, ew.

• 1:46:50Speaker 01

  Right, yeah.

• 1:46:51Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking beep. How dare you ask me to do that? And that's a problem, but it's better that you find that out.

• 1:46:57Speaker 01

  Then, then figure it out.

• 1:46:59Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:46:59Speaker 01

  See how, see how much of a deal breaker it is.

• 1:47:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right, yeah.

• 1:47:01Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:47:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, were they eating ass in England?

• 1:47:04Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 1:47:06Stavros Halkias?

  You moved back before you found out?

• 1:47:08Speaker 01

  I moved back when I was 22. Yeah, I was still, I was still like paddling in the pool.

• 1:47:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:47:12Speaker 01

  You're so bad at sex in college.

• 1:47:14Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:47:14Speaker 01

  Like, it's just like.

• 1:47:16Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. No one's good. No, no. We all think we're like pretty good. You're not getting the ass eating. Not in any finessed way. What happens is in college, you either have the worst sex of all time, or because no one really knows what they're doing. I have friends who just went so far crazy immediately that they fuck in a freaky way that they'll never get back to. And they're chasing it. And they're like, oh, fuck, that was actually insane. Right.

• 1:47:42Speaker 02

  It's when you like accidentally kill an open mic.

• 1:47:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:47:45Speaker 02

  Do I just have all the answers?

• 1:47:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

• 1:47:49Speaker 02

  And then you just never have a set that good again.

• 1:47:50Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:47:51Speaker 02

  It's eight years before you get back around.

• 1:47:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you don't know how good you have it. Or like somebody just like I like, there are girls who do porn that like the year before they decide to are just a girl at a dorm that finds a boyfriend and fucks him a hundred times. Right. And there's a guy who's like, oh, I guess this is what it's gonna be like forever. Like I, I had a friend from college who had a girlfriend who his first girlfriend ever demanded that he like chomp on her nipples. Like, you know what I mean? Like fucking the Mario fucking. The chain chomp. Why did I go right to chain chomp? Like chain chomping her. And dude, what do you think happened the second time? He, it's. The second girl chomped on, right. And she's like, ah, what the fuck is your problem? Why'd you bite my tits? And he's like, sorry.

• 1:48:37Stavros Halkias?

  The girl I had, the only girl I ever had sex with made it seem like this was pretty standard procedure.

• 1:48:41Speaker 02

  That's what you would describe as a faulty towers ending.

• 1:48:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that is a very British, oh.

• 1:48:49Speaker 02

  Confident misunderstanding.

• 1:48:50Stavros Halkias?

  Miscommunication, yeah.

• 1:48:51Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:48:51Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so yeah, talk about it. Good for you, man. We're happy you got your ass eaten. We're happy you got your ass eaten by that old lady. Is that what you wanted? Honestly, the first, that sounds like an awesome setup. When he was in his early twenties, he's dating an older woman. We need to, like, the age gap, the, the problem with the age gap. December, May romance. It's, look, we're not getting them out of society. Let's, let's elevate the one that goes, older woman, younger guy. Younger woman, older guy. It ain't going nowhere.

• 1:49:19Speaker 01

  It's washed. You're right.

• 1:49:22Stavros Halkias?

  That ain't, that's what our, listen, I hate to break it to you, that's like, that's a load-bearing thing in our society. We're not curing that and, and living within a good world, right? It's just not happening. Um, but I think if we like, like, like, let's, let's, let's raise up MILF stock. You know what I mean? Like, why, and I think it's kind of happening. There's like, you know, there's some, there's some movies about it.

• 1:49:47Speaker 01

  There's some movies about it, yeah, yeah.

• 1:49:48Stavros Halkias?

  But I just, Jennifer Coolidge, her Emmy. Totally, yeah, yeah, absolutely, Jennifer, yeah, we had, you know.

• 1:49:53Speaker 01

  Jennifer Coolidge is like Hall of Fame MILF or whatever.

• 1:49:55Stavros Halkias?

  She's the MILF.

• 1:49:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, she's like, she's the, yeah, exactly. Face you see in the museum, if you walk in.

• 1:50:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's also one of those crazy things. The MILF museum, I got a pat, I'm a member, dude. I'm a member of the MILF, I get off, like, I get half off. It's one of those crazy things to look it up and be like, was she 31?

• 1:50:12Speaker 01

  I know, she's not even that old yet.

• 1:50:14Stavros Halkias?

  But you know, but we do need to cure America of its like pedophilic, uh, desires when it comes to women and be like, yes, we need hot, like, older ladies, ladies are hot as shit. Yes. Like, old, into old, you know, middle age. And it's like, yeah, 22-year-old dudes, you would, you would have a, this guy probably had the summer of his life. Yeah. Getting his ass eaten by a divorcee who's seen it all, right? And I think we need, that's, that's how we solve, that's how, that's what we need to do with the age discourse discap is like, yeah, whatever, or age gap discourse, what the fuck did I say?

• 1:50:47Speaker 01

  You said age corp discap.

• 1:50:51Stavros Halkias?

  The Aaron Taylor Johnson setup. Yes. We need to fucking, you know what I mean? We need to lionize that, that's beautiful. So anyway, that's, that's a solution.

• 1:51:00Speaker 01

  You're killing like three birds with one stone at this point.

• 1:51:02Stavros Halkias?

  Societally, we need more MILFs to fuck guys in their twenties, you know what I mean? Let's spread the age gap to the gals as well. Let's break the glass ceiling, let's get you dick down by some recent college grads. Um, that's right. Uh, you got something fun for us to go out on, Elvis?

• 1:51:20Speaker 02

  He's nodding confidently.

• 1:51:21Speaker 10

  Hey, Salvi, Eldis, and guests. I was wanting your opinion on what is the acceptable timeframe to move in with someone that you're in a relationship with?

• 1:51:36Stavros Halkias?

  Real fun, Eldis, you fucking idiot. I knew he was done with calls. Just a classic standard fucking question that could go on anytime, any episode.

• 1:51:45Speaker 01

  General philosophical sense.

• 1:51:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know that's not what this call is. These calls are designed, we're about, this is where we're wrapping up.

• 1:51:53Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:51:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, stop, I got pussy, I was a fucking incel and I got pussy yesterday. And we all cheer and we fucking move forward.

• 1:52:00Speaker 01

  The credits roll.

• 1:52:01Stavros Halkias?

  This is maybe the most generic question you could possibly.

• 1:52:04Speaker 01

  When should you move in with your boyfriend?

• 1:52:05Stavros Halkias?

  Is that really, is that really what you came up with, with fun question on the way out?

• 1:52:09Speaker 01

  Had it in the holster.

• 1:52:11Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you've been planning to do this. The last one was more fun, you fucking idiot. The last one is funner than this one. Anyway, go ahead, we'll fit, we already started, I don't wanna, I don't wanna take it away from this woman.

• 1:52:21Speaker 10

  Um, but then I feel like also on the other end of the spectrum, like you could be waiting too long too. Like, is it crazy to wait, like, five years, 10 years? I don't know. What is the general consensus on an acceptable timeframe of being with someone before you move in together? Thanks.

• 1:52:41Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Really fun to discuss, uh, but yeah, let's give her some advice.

• 1:52:46Speaker 01

  Big question is where do you live?

• 1:52:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if you live in New York City.

• 1:52:49Speaker 02

  Circumstantial qualifiers.

• 1:52:50Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna get pushed into that pretty fast. Okay, I'm glad you brought this up, because I actually feel the exact opposite. Okay, go ahead, hit me. Where I think you should probably, like, they're just gonna push you if you live somewhere expensive to move in together. Cause you're saving the rent. And I think that has actually torpedoed a lot of New York relationships. It's the classic speed bump, right, exactly. You're like, I guess we'll move in together, it'll be so cheap, we'll live in a place together. And then you're like, wait, we're 24, what the fuck, are we gonna get married?

• 1:53:19Speaker 02

  So, how many New York apartments are not cohabitable for a couple? It's like, oh, now we're saving money, you're living with my roommate.

• 1:53:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, I did that. I did that. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I remember maybe the darkest moments of Eldis's now wife's life was when she had to move into his room. Yeah. Cause he had to go to Baltimore Family Emergency. Uh huh. And dude, she wanted to fucking kill herself. Yeah. It was like, it was, she was living in an apartment with Eldis's dumbass best friend.

• 1:53:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, she didn't love living in the three bedroom with four other people.

• 1:53:53Stavros Halkias?

  Man, New York is so silly. And then for a moment, you, you, we all lived together. Like, there was like a four, how long was that? Like four months? Where we all were under the same roof?

• 1:54:02Speaker 04

  Four months, five, six.

• 1:54:03Stavros Halkias?

  Six months, maybe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it was like five people? Yeah. Remember that one time where it was like, you, you, you and your wife, I had somebody over, our, our other roommate had somebody over, our, the, the mysterious and elusive big P was crashing, and you had a cat and there was like nine souls in a three bedroom fucking apartment? We were like, this is fucked up. Like, that, that felt like we were living in a tenement.

• 1:54:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, I'll say that from a kind of flip perspective, I lived with a couple for like five years.

• 1:54:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. You did? That's right. You were the third wheel.

• 1:54:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, my best friend and I moved in together and right when a relationship started.

• 1:54:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:54:41Speaker 02

  And it was like, they're staying over a lot. Now they're here all the time.

• 1:54:46Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:54:46Speaker 02

  Down to second apartment, three of us on the lease together.

• 1:54:50Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, okay.

• 1:54:51Speaker 02

  And it was great. And I don't want to be like, you know, they owe me that their relationship got stress tested and now they're happily married with a kid.

• 1:54:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right, they basically had like a fucking gremlin in their house.

• 1:55:00Speaker 02

  It helped them realize.

• 1:55:01Stavros Halkias?

  They're like, let's have a kid so that we live with someone less annoying.

• 1:55:05Speaker 02

  They were like, if we've been through this, we can be parents.

• 1:55:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:55:09Speaker 02

  This is hard.

• 1:55:10Stavros Halkias?

  Let's have a kid so we have, so we can hang out with someone who plays with less action figures.

• 1:55:15Speaker 02

  Truly. No joke, family. But, but so like, to me, I'm like, well, I do think it strengthened their relationship in a certain way. It clarified it. But I also don't think that is a necessary stress test.

• 1:55:27Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:55:28Speaker 02

  And I don't think failing that test means the relationship was doomed without it. I think there are living situations.

• 1:55:33Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean technically, but.

• 1:55:34Speaker 02

  That can be so trying that they fuck things up, especially if you're in expensive cities.

• 1:55:39Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I, that's my point is that like, yes, you're technically right that trying it and it doesn't working doesn't. Technically doom a relationship.

• 1:55:49Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:55:49Stavros Halkias?

  But effectively, I think it does.

• 1:55:51Speaker 01

  If you move in together and then you unmove.

• 1:55:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:54Speaker 01

  It's over.

• 1:55:54Stavros Halkias?

  Even if you try and keep it alive, it's like. It's it would you'd have to break up and fully like become different people and meet up again years later.

• 1:56:03Speaker 01

  That might work, but you are admitting that you rolled the dice.

• 1:56:06Speaker 02

  And there's also.

• 1:56:07Stavros Halkias?

  Too early, yes.

• 1:56:08Speaker 02

  Lifestyle stuff of like, does one person live closer to their workplace than the other?

• 1:56:13Speaker 01

  Oh, sure.

• 1:56:14Speaker 02

  How's this thrown off commute?

• 1:56:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:16Speaker 02

  All these things that can change.

• 1:56:17Stavros Halkias?

  But so. So generally speaking, does she give any specifics about her situation?

• 1:56:21Speaker 01

  No, she was really just like, should I wait five to 10 years?

• 1:56:24Stavros Halkias?

  And I was like. Five to 10 is fucking insane.

• 1:56:26Speaker 01

  That's a long time.

• 1:56:27Speaker 02

  Ten's a lot.

• 1:56:27Stavros Halkias?

  Even somebody like me who always is scared of like the steps of a relationship. I think like the early like, I think the earliest was probably after a year.

• 1:56:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:56:37Stavros Halkias?

  Of like really. And that's if shit's going good and you're compatible.

• 1:56:41Speaker 02

  And maybe your clock is ticking.

• 1:56:42Stavros Halkias?

  And the clock is ticking.

• 1:56:43Speaker 02

  And things have lined up where you're like, we both like this place. This makes sense financially, you know, geographic, all whatever.

• 1:56:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, to me, it's like the relationship matters so much more than moving in together.

• 1:56:54Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 1:56:55Stavros Halkias?

  And that I would, if anything, I would just like build your relationship until it feels almost like like you're overdue for it. Like, I think you need to have a point where it's like you both have.

• 1:57:06Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:57:07Stavros Halkias?

  You both have a place and it gets to the point.

• 1:57:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:10Stavros Halkias?

  Where your lives have melded so much.

• 1:57:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:12Stavros Halkias?

  That one of you is spending the, you know, spending the night so often. And then it just feels like, oh, we're we need to do like, I think in big in big life decisions. It just goes career stuff for everything. I think it's almost always better to really to feel like you're overdue for something big.

• 1:57:30Speaker 02

  That's a great take and you don't want to let it get to the point of frustration or resentment.

• 1:57:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:57:34Speaker 02

  Or kind of like fanciness.

• 1:57:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:36Speaker 02

  But I think you want to wait for the moment where you're like. Yeah, I should have done that like a month ago.

• 1:57:42Stavros Halkias?

  In general, yes, in general, I think it's always a problem when things other than your relationship dictate taking another step.

• 1:57:48Speaker 01

  Exactly. So if you're tempted by slicing your New York rent in half.

• 1:57:52Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, I lost my job. I should move in with my girl and her friend. No, you shouldn't.

• 1:57:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:56Stavros Halkias?

  You should get a shitty sublease for six months while you figure your shit out.

• 1:58:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, especially because you don't want to move when you're fucked up by something else too.

• 1:58:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:58:05Speaker 01

  Because then you are, you are a problem, like you're a whole syndrome moving into someone's house. Like you are, you're bringing all this shit to them.

• 1:58:11Speaker 02

  That's you, me and Dupree shit, kind of.

• 1:58:13Speaker 01

  I mean, a movie we all remember.

• 1:58:15Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, a banger. I think I did see that in theaters.

• 1:58:18Speaker 01

  We saw it and we all were like, these guys, the guys who made this will make the highest grossing film ever made, definitely.

• 1:58:23Speaker 02

  The biggest directors in the history of Hollywood.

• 1:58:24Stavros Halkias?

  That movie was made by the Russo Brothers? Get the fuck out of here. That's fucking crazy.

• 1:58:28Speaker 01

  It's the last thing they made before Captain America or whatever.

• 1:58:31Speaker 02

  It's that? Seven years of TV?

• 1:58:34Speaker 01

  Seven years of, you know, good TV, like Rest in Element or Community or whatever.

• 1:58:38Speaker 02

  Community.

• 1:58:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, they did Community?

• 1:58:40Speaker 01

  They did a lot of good.

• 1:58:41Speaker 02

  They did The Pilot, yeah, yeah. At Rest in Development, they did The Pilot as well.

• 1:58:46Stavros Halkias?

  The Gray Man?

• 1:58:47Speaker 01

  The fucking Gray Man?

• 1:58:49Speaker 02

  And then it's fucking.

• 1:58:50Speaker 01

  I'm still waiting. Gray Man 2, where is it?

• 1:58:53Speaker 02

  They were like Sundance guys. They made an indie comedy.

• 1:58:56Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 1:58:57Speaker 02

  Then they do you, me and Dupree.

• 1:58:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:58:59Speaker 02

  They're like, we're gonna, we're on the path to be studio comedy filmmakers.

• 1:59:02Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:59:03Speaker 02

  And then it's like, that movie doesn't totally work. They become like the best TV pilot directors, kind of like directing producers.

• 1:59:10Stavros Halkias?

  Fascinating. I had no clue.

• 1:59:11Speaker 02

  And then they circle back to the Marvel system, make four billion dollar movies.

• 1:59:15Speaker 01

  They did?

• 1:59:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:59:15Speaker 02

  And then, of course, finally graduate to the films that have changed the culture forever.

• 1:59:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:59:20Speaker 02

  Cherry?

• 1:59:21Speaker 01

  Gray Man, Cherry, the one with Chris Pratt.

• 1:59:25Stavros Halkias?

  They're addicted to just still working with Marvel guys.

• 1:59:28Speaker 02

  Now they're back.

• 1:59:29Stavros Halkias?

  All their movies are just Marvel guys.

• 1:59:30Speaker 02

  And now they're back to Marvel.

• 1:59:31Speaker 01

  And now they're back to Marvel.

• 1:59:32Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, go back to the well.

• 1:59:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:34Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, you have that much fucking money, why even work? But that's another, that's just me, I guess, philosophy. How long did you wait to move in? It was a while, wasn't it? Well, we kinda, she kinda did move in on necessity and I had to like skip town for a little, but. But you were dealing with so, you're the exception to the rule because it was like, you were dealing with such extreme like emergency, that if a relationship gets through this, you're good, kinda shit. And again, we don't, if you can avoid that, avoid it. Obviously, you couldn't. Yeah, but we were, I think we were together for two years before that happened. Yeah, that feels, that feels, yeah. Pretty soon after. And you guys were hanging out all the, I mean, you were either there, we were roommates at the time, so it was like, it made sense.

• 2:00:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, two years feels reasonable, whatever. Yeah, you, you know, you know what the fucking, I'd love to know why she's asking and who's. Yeah, there's context we're not getting. Pressing who? Yeah. Cause she, her throwing five, 10 is actually 10. Imagine someone's like, hey, you wanna move in together? I wonder why she's asking. Let's give it 10 years. Let's just. Yeah, has she been in a 10 year relationship? She's like, can you just fucking move in with me? And the guy's like, I don't know. Maybe.

• 2:00:46Speaker 02

  Definitely a very fun question, though. I had a lot of fun.

• 2:00:50Stavros Halkias?

  I would say it's fun.

• 2:00:52Speaker 02

  Fun is the word.

• 2:00:52Stavros Halkias?

  And we didn't have maybe the least funny segment this whole fucking episode because of this. Everything else had a bunch of jokes, but this, just sober, actual advice to end. Relationships, human interaction, sure. Well, that is gonna do it for us, but you guys, if you like movies, guys, check out Blank Check with Griffin and David. And we didn't even, you know, the, the show's interesting because it goes through an entire filmography of a director. Right. Which is like a cool, you know, if you're too stupid to even approach studying film, it's kinda how a dumbass goes to film school. Yeah. You know, it's like, it's like, because you do, you know, I had never really, I'd never thought of looking at movies in that sense, but it's been cool

• 2:01:35Stavros Halkias?

  to examine things that way because, yeah, you realize like even the masters gotta start somewhere. Sure, maybe, yeah, even really great directors made weird pieces of shit. Yeah. Or, yeah, stuff that didn't work, that's fun to think about. And it's, it's actually, it's really, and it makes it, if you're somebody who is, who. Wants to do film in particular, but literally anything that feels unattainable.

• 2:01:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:01:57Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I think maybe the best, the best one of these is like the Kubrick one.

• 2:02:01Speaker 02

  Savit, that's exactly what I was about to bring up.

• 2:02:03Stavros Halkias?

  And then like, I love the, um, fuck, what's the, the killing? Yeah, killing. That's maybe his first good movie.

• 2:02:09Speaker 02

  But his actual first movie sucked.

• 2:02:11Stavros Halkias?

  His first movie sucked dick. And they're like, and that's like, and then maybe that's also why he became such a perfectionist.

• 2:02:19Speaker 02

  But people speak of him like he was this like perfect creature, put on earth to make perfect movies. And it, it's more informative to watch that guy stumble and not know what he's doing and learn it on his feet before he gets to that level of control.

• 2:02:34Stavros Halkias?

  Same, I just watched the Mel Brooks documentary, which I'm a huge, so really good. So it's, it's really good on HBO.

• 2:02:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:02:40Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, it's, it's on Max right now. Really good. And that's another one. It's like, you know, I just grew up in a world where Mel Brooks was one of the like comedic voices.

• 2:02:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:02:49Stavros Halkias?

  That I knew always existed, but the fact that even after Blazing Saddles.

• 2:02:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:02:53Stavros Halkias?

  People weren't sure if his career was gonna work. It's crazy. When you see these legends and you're like, no dude, they almost fuck up so many places.

• 2:03:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:03:01Stavros Halkias?

  And then it makes you realize like, oh, it's not, you don't have to be perfect. And I think going through, it's fun. First of all, it's fun, funny podcast. You guys have great guests. You know a lot about movies. But also it's like, it's a cool way to look at them. Cause it's like, oh, you get a holistic picture of this stuff.

• 2:03:15Speaker 02

  Mel Brooks, like one of the most important guys to me. I, I love his work, but also like since childhood, I've been like, that's a guy who just seems completely unencumbered. Like anything other than the desire to be funny. And he does it well. And had always just been kind of like all business. My job is being funny.

• 2:03:31Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 2:03:31Speaker 02

  And I feel like that doc is the first time he's really been like, I was in deep analysis for ten years. I was like white knuckling it through mental breakdowns and shit.

• 2:03:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:03:41Speaker 02

  It took me so long before I felt like I was comfortable and I had like landed where I needed to be.

• 2:03:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:03:48Speaker 02

  And that stuff only makes the work even better.

• 2:03:51Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally. It's all, it's fucking awesome. I, yeah. See, yeah, fuck their podcast. Just watch that documentary. Yeah, that's good.

• 2:03:57Speaker 02

  The Mel Brooks.

• 2:03:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, more money in HBO's pocket. Yeah. HBO, great company. Great company on its way to being a better company. Ignore everything I said when I thought Netflix bought HBO. I'm happy that the Ellison family has bought it and I hope to work with you someday, sir.

• 2:04:16Speaker 02

  Flyboys too.

• 2:04:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Flyboys, dude, put me in the cock, jam me in the cockpit. Let's get it, Russ. David Griffin, thanks for coming, guys. Check out the podcast and we'll talk to you guys. And as we, you know, the Oscars recap, as we said, Begonia swept everything.

• 2:04:36Speaker 02

  Five slaps this year.

• 2:04:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the fucking heated rivalry guys were slapping everybody. They're like, do something about it. We're the most famous guys in the world. Fuck you, Laura Dern.

• 2:04:51Stavros Halkias?

  That sexy Wajin slapping everybody, dude. Crazy, crazy ceremony. Thank you, guys. We'll see you next week. Bye bye.