Patreon Episode: The Pickup Artist - Are You Garbage (FULL)

Here is a full episode from the Are You Garbage Patreon where Kippy & Foley figure out Prison! Join the AYG Patreon for weekly Hard Feelings and bonus episodes of Are You Garbage. Join the Army of Garbage. Thanks for watching. Love youse guys! Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. Who caught you slipping, didn't I?

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 0:26H. Foley?

  So, Are You Garbage?

• 0:27Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 0:28H. Foley?

  God damn it, I lost my place.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  No, no, keep it going.

• 0:30H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage?

• 0:34Speaker 01

  No, it's not.

• 0:35H. Foley?

  Little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. After just a big ol' piece of trash. Garbage. I'm your host, Hank Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day here at Antutti's. But I'm gonna tell you folks that-

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Oh, man, the big man's slow. Hotchy, machy, gang.

• 0:49H. Foley?

  God damn it! Fucking Luke's fault.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 0:53H. Foley?

  Cause I'm mad at him.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  Why?

• 0:54H. Foley?

  Cause that game is lighter back and he acted like it was nothing. I had it for like two weeks as Gotham lighter.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  So, you wanted credit cause you stole something, then returned it?

• 1:02H. Foley?

  I forgot it, but that's something that just goes away. You never see that again. I brought it back to him, then he left it up in-

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Man, you are a psycho, but you steal something, then you want credit, and you're upset that he's not happy that you gave it back?

• 1:14H. Foley?

  A couple bucks, something, you know what I mean?

• 1:16Speaker 01

  Take me out to dinner or something like that.

• 1:19H. Foley?

  Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. Just a big ol' piece of trash. Patria. I'm your host, Hank Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Antutti's in a new edition, but I'm gonna tell you folks that, why's that pinhead?

• 1:36Speaker 01

  To the motherfucking homies!

• 1:37H. Foley?

  To the motherfucking homies! For a little buh buh buh buh bonus episode, right here on the old Patreon.

• 1:43Speaker 01

  You sound like you just got out, but it was actually your voice.

• 1:46H. Foley?

  Why am I here on the old?

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Sounds like we're having tech issues.

• 1:50H. Foley?

  I had a tootsie roll in the back of my throat.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:53H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? And he can be a crude man before he's had his sweet greens. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  That's what I call my blunt rolls. My sweet greens.

• 2:06H. Foley?

  You can't smoke, Doobie, you couldn't handle it.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 2:10H. Foley?

  You couldn't roll with me and my crew and smoke. You'd be all fucked up.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  First of all, you can't handle it, dude. I've seen you fucking wig out.

• 2:18H. Foley?

  Yeah, this fucking dickhead in LA.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  Definition of-

• 2:21H. Foley?

  Fucking load me up with moon rocks and then send me to a strange room.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Fucking bug out. What's up everybody? That's either here's a goddamn family program we're doing talking about your narcotics. What's up gang? Shout out to you. We fucking love you as the fucking Patreons, the homies, the sleeper cells, the shareholders, the members of the board, the goddamn boots on the ground.

• 2:41H. Foley?

  The schifters.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  The side workers, how you doing? How you doing?

• 2:44H. Foley?

  We're here for a little bonus episode. Today we're going to be covering.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  See if he knows.

• 2:50H. Foley?

  Uh, today we're talking about the pickup artist, which was a popular show in the early 2000s. If you remember a couple of weeks ago, we did the trashiest TV shows in the early 2000s. And this one really stuck out with Kevin.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  What just happened? He blacked out? That came to you don't remember?

• 3:04H. Foley?

  Cause he was a fat ass and didn't play sports. I was a fucking lacrosse back just getting it in. This guy was home watching daytime TV.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  This came out in 2007.

• 3:12H. Foley?

  Drinking Slim Fast.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Ain't nothing wrong. I was working on my figure.

• 3:16H. Foley?

  Smoking cools.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, so obviously I guess it was, uh, last week was fat court. So the week before that we did trashy television shows.

• 3:24H. Foley?

  And I don't know this program or this gentleman.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  You don't know the program? You don't know the gentleman? It's kind of funny that this was on the list because.

• 3:29H. Foley?

  I never needed any tips on how to pick up broads.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  Why? Yeah, you do. I've watched you. I strike out.

• 3:36H. Foley?

  Not back in the day.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  But I mean, well, this wasn't last week. This is fucking 10 years ago.

• 3:40H. Foley?

  I rolled into the party with my acoustic guitar.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  You stunk.

• 3:43H. Foley?

  Flicked my hair.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  10 years ago, you were no good.

• 3:47H. Foley?

  10? 48. I just been stinking all the way through.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Um, so if you're not familiar, this is a VH1 program that, uh, it hit.

• 3:58H. Foley?

  You know what VH1 stands for?

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Very hot ones.

• 4:01H. Foley?

  No.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Video houses.

• 4:05H. Foley?

  No.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Video. Am I right?

• 4:07H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  You have no idea? Luke, see if you can get what the VH1? First of all, Luke's got four fucking computers over there. Uh, what's guy?

• 4:15H. Foley?

  He's panicking.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  It's crazy. He's got a chair from the fucking, from the other room and.

• 4:19H. Foley?

  Hey, what's that's a goddamn kitchen chair doing in here?

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Let me live. But he's gonna be pissed. So this was, so the pick, the show was the pickup art. This was during that fucking heyday of trash fucking reality TV shows. What do you got? On video.

• 4:34H. Foley?

  Hits one.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Video hits one. Um.

• 4:38H. Foley?

  This is what happened was there was a, there was a strike. There was a writer's strike. And they started doing a couple of reality shows and they realized, hey, we could do these cheap. And a lot of people like to watch.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Well, it was like human interest kind of, or just like, here's the craziest guy who does, this is the pickup artist. This is the fucking whatever guy. So this is the pickup artist was American reality TV show.

• 4:58H. Foley?

  Which a lot of the homies.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  A dating themed game show that aired on VH1. The show was hosted by pickup artist. Mystery was his name, AKA Eric Von Markovic. Fucking, I changed my name to mystery too. Eric with a K. Yikes.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  And his wings.

• 5:15H. Foley?

  His uncle's Dracula.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  His wing dogs, his wings, they call them way, that's how.

• 5:20H. Foley?

  His boys?

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Dude, this was when, this is like the height of entourage when being cool was cool. Being cool's not cool anymore. Like.

• 5:29H. Foley?

  Bad genes.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Dude, bad like.

• 5:30H. Foley?

  Weak crew.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Affliction.

• 5:32H. Foley?

  Crew flexing, getting the shit kicked out of them.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  A lot of accessories, a lot of chains, finger stuff, gloves. I tried a little bit of it. Um.

• 5:43H. Foley?

  You must've sucked.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  His wingman, J-Dog.

• 5:46H. Foley?

  What's up, J-Dog?

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Was Justin Marks and the Matador, Ja- that James Matador was, was.

• 5:53H. Foley?

  The Matador's pretty good.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  The Matador's, he's a big jacked Indian dude, fucking yoked, big set of hair on him.

• 5:59H. Foley?

  That's alright.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  He's fucking.

• 6:00H. Foley?

  The Matador's cool.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  That was, that was, this was the prime time of like wearing a vest that didn't button, that kind of, like a tiny vest.

• 6:07H. Foley?

  With a t-shirt?

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, t-shirt and a tiny leather vest or whatever.

• 6:11H. Foley?

  Like the, um, what are those guys called? The band?

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Mumford and Sons?

• 6:16H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, but even this, that, that, that's like folksy and like hipstery. This is like. These dudes thought they were like the coolest guys in the world.

• 6:26H. Foley?

  Mumford and Sons, they look like Brooklyn bartenders.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  They probably, I mean, that, that's cool, man. I mean, that's an old bit you used to do.

• 6:31H. Foley?

  No, I didn't.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 6:33H. Foley?

  Nuh-uh.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  Looks like someone's off the writer's strike.

• 6:39H. Foley?

  Trying to get my Bennys.

• 6:42Speaker 01

  Hello, go here's the jersey right in.

• 6:43H. Foley?

  You get the old shit.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  What?

• 6:47H. Foley?

  That port strike came and went, by the way.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Port strike?

• 6:50H. Foley?

  The port.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, they signed a thing they had to get back to work.

• 6:53H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  A Jiminy Taft or something like that.

• 6:55H. Foley?

  Uh huh.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  That guy. That guy's living in a six million dollar house.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  What?

• 7:01Speaker 02

  He was living in a six million dollar.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Six million dollar house in Jersey. And listen, I come from a pro-union family, but.

• 7:07H. Foley?

  Kidby had this guy marked for death.

• 7:09Speaker 01

  Dude, it's also you shut down the ports, the Chinese are gonna have something to say about that. Fucking, what are you, nuts?

• 7:15H. Foley?

  You know who runs that, huh? Ain't the Cub Scouts.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  They ain't, they ain't no bandleaders either.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, you wanna get your permits done. I, I just like, you know, yeah, there are a lot of people, a lot of money at stake that that guy, you know. Again, I'm a, I come from a union shop myself. I'm not throwing shade, but then, heck, I would show up to press conferences or make videos. And every time they started, it could be like, oh, people were like, those sunglasses are $1,800, that watch is $35. All right, well, that's whatever, all the, you know, union, the union strikes aside, and your writer's strike that's going on. Um, so they brought in, uh, throughout the show, uh, so the first feeder, eight contestants that have previously been unsuccessful in love and relationship.

• 8:01H. Foley?

  He's gonna try to get these guys laid.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Throughout the, throughout the show, the contestants are tutored in the art of the pickup as taught by Mystery and his wings. In each episode, the men were given challenges that involved picking up women in different situations, such as a bridge during the day or a night call.

• 8:17H. Foley?

  A bridge?

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Like, dude, it's cra- like.

• 8:20H. Foley?

  Under the bridge or on top of the bridge?

• 8:22Speaker 01

  I'm an under the bridge kinda guy. I'm a throw you in my trunk kinda guy.

• 8:30H. Foley?

  Going to lay her under the bridge, couple of twenties.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were, they were picked, uh, they were instructed to pick up women at varying levels of difficulties, such as the second to last challenge of the first season, Met had to pick up a stripper. Decided, described by Mystery as the ultimate challenge.

• 8:44H. Foley?

  Really?

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Uh huh, cuz they're, he calls them hired guns, I believe. Strippers and bartenders are paid to like, engage with ya and flirt and.

• 8:54H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  Been down that road a lot.

• 8:57H. Foley?

  You ever dated a stripper?

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, one guy. His name was Nick, he worked at the K-11.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  I used to know a guy named Nick who worked at The Cave.

• 9:06H. Foley?

  Dancing?

• 9:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was dancing. He was my, uh, he grew up with my brother and my sister and then-

• 9:11H. Foley?

  Good-looking dude?

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Attell went and did Insomniac at Helium.

• 9:15H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  And went to The Cave, which was the male, uh, dance facility.

• 9:20H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  And one of the-

• 9:22H. Foley?

  Look at me acting like I don't know.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  Wait, you don't say the one up on Delaware?

• 9:25H. Foley?

  I just sing at the lollipop, huh? Rudy. Who's Rudy?

• 9:28Speaker 01

  I get fucked up. I like to dance. I do fucked up shit. Um-

• 9:33H. Foley?

  The Lollipop's a great name for a club.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  Sure. Um, so that's the show. It was one of those shows, it's like, hey, these guys are nerdy virgins for the most part. We're gonna throw them into Talk to Hot Chicks in LA and put them in a mansion.

• 9:46H. Foley?

  He's got a bit of a, uh, Criss Angel vibe.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Very Criss Angel-y.

• 9:51H. Foley?

  This guy do good? Does he, does he get ladies?

• 9:53Speaker 01

  I don't, I mean, so we have, so we pulled a couple of videos. We pulled a couple of his, uh, you know, short instructional videos or have you say. So play, this is, play the, the, uh, trailer of the show.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Eight ordinary men.

• 10:10H. Foley?

  Hey, there's Kevin.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Each has conquered some of the most difficult challenges of manhood. Puberty, driving, shaming. But with all their masculine successes, there's one thing they haven't been able to figure out.

• 10:26H. Foley?

  Pants, how to close ass.

• 10:28Speaker 04

  I've met women for a long time. I don't know what to do when I'm talking to, to women.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  For them, it's a puzzle they can't solve.

• 10:39H. Foley?

  Lose the lights in.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  You need to be coached. Just like I have a boxing trainer, just like I got taught how to break down.

• 10:44H. Foley?

  Where'd you pull this? Why's it Spanish?

• 10:46Speaker 01

  No, it's just subtitles. Got this on the top. That's guy doing helium high balls.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  That's you, dude. That's holy.

• 10:55H. Foley?

  I had that shirt.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  I know you did. And those hairy ass arms.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  That's, that's-

• 11:01H. Foley?

  Bitches just don't get me.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  These dumb brothers. Probably about two serial killers in this cast for sure. Um-

• 11:09H. Foley?

  How did I miss this?

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Dude, it was, I thought it, I thought I watched it in high school, but I was watching this in college. Late college, looking for tips. He's trying to open up his set. That's what he calls a group of broads. A set. And you gotta go open up the set.

• 11:26H. Foley?

  You gotta crack a flock of pigeons.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  I can open up some skeezers.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  This guy's nuts, dude.

• 11:37H. Foley?

  So what years was this?

• 11:38Speaker 01

  This aired in 2007, so probably shot 2005, you know, 2006.

• 11:45H. Foley?

  You're a little filmmaker, aren't you?

• 11:47Speaker 01

  I've had stuff in the can, in my can.

• 11:50H. Foley?

  Man, I don't remember it at all.

• 11:52Speaker 04

  Mom, they'll kind of take turns and they will wax my eyebrows to make it so I have two eyebrows.

• 11:58Speaker 05

  Women tend to think I'm gay.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Does size really matter? Uh, like, yeah, I am a virgin.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  Until now.

• 12:08Speaker 03

  Meet the world's most successful pickup artist. A man who goes by only one name.

• 12:16Speaker 05

  Mystery.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Look, this guy's... Pause it. This guy has Dungeons and Dragons written all over. I don't get how this guy's mystery.

• 12:24H. Foley?

  That's how wacky of a time it was. That guy was closing ass.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  That guy was closing so much as he got a television show. Who else did "Who'd You Pass On"? His whole thing. No, you can play it. Play it.

• 12:37Speaker 05

  Mystery.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Because I live with my mom.

• 12:46H. Foley?

  This guy's got shit on his shoulders. He's a good-looking guy.

• 12:50H. Foley?

  What the fuck is that outfit?

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Rising to the top of the seduction community, Mystery has been featured in the bestselling book, the game, and dozens of magazines.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Weekly.

• 13:05Speaker 05

  A certain number of attraction switches, and I know what they are.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  Now, Mystery has recruited two former students, J-Dog and Matador.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  J-Dog and Matador. Look at those... That was the height of this fucking thing. The guy's got a shark tooth on his neck.

• 13:25H. Foley?

  There's no way that guy on the left was closing.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  No. I mean...

• 13:28H. Foley?

  Come on.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  I don't know, though. I mean, we always hear tales of LA being like, you know, uh... You know, it's just like weird. It's like a different world that we're not used to, these Hollywood types. It's also this guy says he's on a television show, I'm just sure he can start closing his eyes out in LA.

• 13:45H. Foley?

  True.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 13:47H. Foley?

  It hasn't aired yet, but... Matador and J. Dog.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  Hold on, stop, pause it, that looks like the AYG tour rolling out. I was up on Route 6060.

• 14:00H. Foley?

  That's a hell of a nice rolly bag you got there, son.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  How long guys got a trash bag?

• 14:05Speaker 02

  That's wooly.

• 14:06H. Foley?

  Bed and air, brother. So these are the guys.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Tonight, on the season premiere.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  That guy's got a box.

• 14:17Speaker 05

  This is a lot more than just learning how to pick up a woman. It's about learning how to build a life.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  But before they can attain their dreams.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  Oh!

• 14:26Speaker 03

  They must first find the courage to face their darkest nightmares.

• 14:30Speaker 05

  You're going to meet women, lots and lots of women.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Another guy killed.

• 14:36H. Foley?

  Can I?

• 14:38Speaker 01

  I didn't even shower!

• 14:39H. Foley?

  These are all fucking LA broads, trying to get famous. Anybody get clothes in there?

• 14:46Speaker 01

  You're already getting jealous.

• 14:48H. Foley?

  It's fucking, there's 50 women in there. Try doing it all coked up in a fucking bar, you're not making any goddamn sense.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  Try doing it coked up in your apartment with no broads there, that is pretty hard.

• 15:01H. Foley?

  Hey, you girls like sweating?

• 15:05Speaker 01

  Hey, you got any, you girls got bed sheets on you? I just ran out.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  These guys look like the German freaks in The Big Lebowski, kind of.

• 15:14Speaker 01

  They do, they have very...

• 15:17H. Foley?

  The nihilists.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  And it's gone.

• 15:22H. Foley?

  Bitch!

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Probably a lesbian.

• 15:29H. Foley?

  This fucking setup is this?

• 15:31Speaker 01

  I know, dude.

• 15:32H. Foley?

  Send me in there with a bunch of cock blockers? Hey, Mysterio.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Why you give me some loose broads, something I can work? Let me get a couple of, couple of wins under my belt here, dude. Uh, this is, I never really had this in the time of the day to get the, did, the ass with a phone number. Whereas like, that's the call, you gotta get the phone number written down or whatever. You know what I mean?

• 15:57H. Foley?

  That's what they're basing, oh, we're not, it's, they, they don't close clothes?

• 16:01Speaker 01

  It doesn't turn into a porn, no. Also... But I'm just saying, this is that time where it's like, oh, let me get your number. I didn't, you had that, I guess, a little bit. I mean, we always like, oh, are you on Facebook? Like, if I'm at, if I'm in college or Philly, like, there was a time to where, like, techno, technology above, let me ask.

• 16:20H. Foley?

  Has that ever happened? Have you ever?

• 16:22Speaker 01

  Had sex with a woman?

• 16:24H. Foley?

  Have you ever approached the lady, hi, how are you? I'm Kevin. Okay, and then talked to her? And then, can I get your number? Oh, can I hit you up on, I don't know, whatever you did? Facebook Messenger, whatever it was, or what was it? The, the orange guy?

• 16:40Speaker 01

  Talking to me?

• 16:41H. Foley?

  Yeah, iMessage, what's it called?

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Instant Messenger.

• 16:43H. Foley?

  Instant Messenger.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:45H. Foley?

  Is that, have you ever done that? You've never done that?

• 16:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:49H. Foley?

  No.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:50H. Foley?

  No.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:52H. Foley?

  I'm not saying you haven't gotten sloppy drunk and made out with some chick at some-

• 16:56Speaker 01

  No, I for sure-

• 16:57H. Foley?

  Some chicken wing joint in the middle of the night. But you weren't picking anybody up?

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Not the broads I was dating. No one could pick him up.

• 17:10H. Foley?

  They had bad backs.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  A couple of hands with me.

• 17:20H. Foley?

  Well, we picked up a couple of girls that one night.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  Wait, what? When?

• 17:26H. Foley?

  We did. At that Irish bar down in the village.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Oh, GMT.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Holy stink. Oh my god. We walked into the bar. Were you?

• 17:39H. Foley?

  With two nickels on us.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  Dude, we had no, we were like splitting a beer, I think. We ordered, we ordered a Miller-

• 17:44H. Foley?

  What were we doing?

• 17:45Speaker 01

  We ordered a Miller Lite and two glasses.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  We're gonna split this.

• 17:51H. Foley?

  Some of them cocktail olives, though.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Hey buddy, this is mostly foam, by the way.

• 17:57H. Foley?

  Alright, don't remember, we're pilots.

• 18:02H. Foley?

  What's up ladies?

• 18:06H. Foley?

  It's K-Dog.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  And I'm the fatador.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  I forgot about that. I was wingmaning for you. You were mad I wouldn't wingman for ya.

• 18:19H. Foley?

  Yeah. Was I?

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:23H. Foley?

  Were we in there to look for women?

• 18:25Speaker 01

  I think that's, that's, that's, I don't think that was the exact...

• 18:29H. Foley?

  Yeah, we were in there having beers.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  I don't... Do you know what we're talking about? It's called GMT. It's on the corner of, uh, Bleecker and Thompson's... No. Bleecker and...

• 18:37H. Foley?

  I don't give away our spot!

• 18:41H. Foley?

  Giving away our fishing hole.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  That's a stocked lake right there.

• 18:48H. Foley?

  He fucking sent out the copper. They're closed, by the way. Fucking this dickhead rolling in with his fucking finance buddies.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  Me? Okay, me, I...

• 19:02H. Foley?

  All of a sudden, my dick looks real small.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  Ah, god.

• 19:07H. Foley?

  Man, we weren't those guys. We had no game.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  You had a Phillies hoodie on. Do you remember that?

• 19:13H. Foley?

  A Phillies hoodie?

• 19:14Speaker 01

  I wanna say it was Phillies. It was a ba- a real ba- it was like a giveaway. It was a zipper, it was a zip-up hoodie. You wore it all the time. I had my cool express jacket on. That I wouldn't take off. Cause I was sweating in there.

• 19:29H. Foley?

  He had no shirt on. Nothing was clean!

• 19:35Speaker 01

  I got it zipped up. It's March.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  I got it all the way...

• 19:42H. Foley?

  Did you not have a shirt on in there? Oh, you like that? You buy me a beer?

• 19:47Speaker 01

  Hey, you buy me and my buddies some beers?

• 19:49H. Foley?

  Couple of chicken wings. Hey, you guys wanna split some Mott Sticks? What do you wanna do?

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, Foley, um, we were there. It was me, him, and another associate of ours. I think Luke died.

• 20:02H. Foley?

  We were all single guys. We were young, single guys.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. Did you say young?

• 20:07H. Foley?

  Well, whatever.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  You were 42 at the time.

• 20:09H. Foley?

  No, I was probably... Thirty-seven, thirty-eight.

• 20:16Speaker 01

  No, you were older than thirty, because I moved, ah, yeah, maybe, okay, yeah, maybe thirty-eight, that makes sense.

• 20:20H. Foley?

  A young thirty-eight, though.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 20:22H. Foley?

  And I was a little schwelt back then.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  I was just looking at old pictures. I was the fat one, which is crazy.

• 20:27H. Foley?

  Yeah. I was maybe two-fifty?

• 20:31Speaker 01

  That's crazy. And I was the fat one? You were two-fifty?

• 20:34H. Foley?

  Pork chop. Well, fuck this up for me, fat ass.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  No, he came over and he's talking to three girl, two or three girls. You opened up a set.

• 20:44H. Foley?

  I did.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  You walked over, you opened up.

• 20:46H. Foley?

  I could be a charmer.

• 20:49H. Foley?

  I could.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  Uh, you opened up a set, and then, you know, it wasn't my kinda clientele, or so. Not that I was-

• 20:59H. Foley?

  No wieners.

• 21:01Speaker 01

  Are you guys talking or not? Not that, it was, it was not a-

• 21:04H. Foley?

  That's my scene, baby.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  Whatever. Not that I'm a catch, but, you know.

• 21:10H. Foley?

  No.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  I, these, you know, these were a couple of rough-

• 21:14H. Foley?

  What? No, they weren't. They're nice ladies.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  I'm not saying anything, they were nice ladies, but you, yeah, you came over, you're like, "Will you leave me fucking stranded over there? I'm jumping on the grenade for you," is what you told me. I was like, "God." Well, nobody asked you to, and you went up and started talking to that one, so don't act like you're doing anybody a favor.

• 21:32H. Foley?

  I'm the grenade.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  You found the easy one.

• 21:36H. Foley?

  Oh my god. Had quite a tasty relationship with that young lady for a little while.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  You did for quite some time. Yeah, I remember. He would tell me, he would tell me tales of his late night, late night deli sessions.

• 21:48H. Foley?

  Smooching sessions. Young kid, you don't know nothing about that.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  I think I just had an asthma attack.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  So-

• 21:57H. Foley?

  Taking the fucking bus home from fucking Uptown Uptown. Brutal. To Queens.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  Taking that Q twenty-seven or whatever? Going, dude, if you're going, you're going through, you're going through toll booths in a bus, you're jammed up. Uh, yeah, that was, that was probably the only time we were out mingling.

• 22:18H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 22:19Speaker 01

  And then, like, throughout, we each had our own, uh-

• 22:24H. Foley?

  Liaison?

• 22:24Speaker 01

  Liaisons, you know.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  Sure. But that was, yeah, that was all-

• 22:31H. Foley?

  Couple of real winners.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, we couldn't string together-

• 22:36H. Foley?

  Stink.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  I remember I had one pretty good hooded sweater from-

• 22:43Speaker 02

  There's no pretty good-

• 22:45Speaker 01

  It was alright.

• 22:46H. Foley?

  Hold on, a hooded sweater?

• 22:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was like a knit-

• 22:50H. Foley?

  What?

• 22:50Speaker 01

  But with a hood. Remember hoods were real big-

• 22:53Speaker 02

  With like the infinity hood?

• 22:54Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 22:56H. Foley?

  Joe Mangiella, whatever his name is?

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Who?

• 22:59H. Foley?

  Guy that used to be married to, uh, what's her name? From-

• 23:03Speaker 01

  Shannon Elizabeth.

• 23:04H. Foley?

  No. From, uh, the fu- Modern Family.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 23:09H. Foley?

  Sofia Vergara.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't know.

• 23:11H. Foley?

  Joe Mangiageli, whatever his name is. Go looking, dude. He wears that shit.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  I went on a Tinder date one time with this girl at night. Did I ever tell you this story?

• 23:20H. Foley?

  Where you got jammed up in the Kentucky Derby or something like that? You had no money at Minnetonka Tavern?

• 23:25Speaker 01

  No. That, I pulled that bro off the street.

• 23:28H. Foley?

  I've heard that strikeout story plenty of times.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  You witnessed it. That and, uh- Uh, no, I went on a date and it was, she had something and I had something. It was just like, oh, we're not gonna be able to see each other for like another couple of weeks. She's like, unless you wanna do like brunch in the morning or something like that.

• 23:44H. Foley?

  Good.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  And I was like, alright, but I had no cool clothes to wear.

• 23:46H. Foley?

  Can do a slice now.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  So I wore the same outfit. I tried to change it up a little bit.

• 23:52H. Foley?

  Wait, did you guys, did you stay at her place?

• 23:54Speaker 01

  No, I left and I went back and met her the next day.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  You put the hood on?

• 23:58Speaker 01

  Different guy.

• 24:00H. Foley?

  You wear it backwards. I thought you think it was funny. Sunglasses?

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Man-

• 24:05H. Foley?

  Wait a minute-

• 24:05Speaker 01

  I told you this with the brunch and I got meatballs. I told you this. I told you this for sure.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  You guys stink.

• 24:13Speaker 01

  Dude. Woo, no, you had-

• 24:15H. Foley?

  You like breadcrumb breath?

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Hey, put Parmesan right in the mix.

• 24:23H. Foley?

  What's this, truffle oil? So what do you say we get outta here?

• 24:27Speaker 01

  She got like Yang's Benedict or something and I got, uh, I got the meatballs. It was on the menu.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  I don't like getting judged for stuff that's on the menu. I didn't put it, don't put it on there if you don't want anybody to eat.

• 24:39H. Foley?

  Oh, it's a turkey dinner, please?

• 24:44Speaker 01

  That was at Thanksgiving. Does that come on a sandwich? Is that possible?

• 24:49H. Foley?

  A lady will have the avocado toast.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  I think I did the meatballs and a cup of coffee.

• 24:59Speaker 01

  Hey, no, but Luke, you have to understand. Meatballs.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  Just bring me a bunch of bread.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  I was doing, I was doing no carbs at the time.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  That, this was, I mean, I don't think we're gonna get to any more videos. This was a time when we were learning how to be adults at the same time.

• 25:19Speaker 02

  Which is so funny too, he was 38.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  I know, no, but we were figuring it out. We were, we had succumbed to being super broke. And like trying to like not be bozos within that for the first time in our life.

• 25:33H. Foley?

  Trying to live a little bit of a life. Trying to close some ass.

• 25:36Speaker 01

  Trying to see some A.

• 25:38H. Foley?

  Get back on the horse. I just have my heart broken.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  But yeah, it was a very...

• 25:44Speaker 01

  I never lived in Manhattan and like gone on a brunch date. I didn't know what that was.

• 25:48H. Foley?

  I...

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Brunch for me was getting blackout drunk with Phil X and he would pay for it.

• 25:53H. Foley?

  I think it's, I think it's strange that you were out with a girl.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 25:58H. Foley?

  Got nothing, went home.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  I think I got a kiss on the subway.

• 26:02H. Foley?

  Ooh, look at you.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  Just a homeless guy, but...

• 26:07H. Foley?

  A kiss on the subway. On the forehead.

• 26:12H. Foley?

  You pay for brunch?

• 26:13Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't remember. Probably, probably, if I had known, yeah, probably.

• 26:18H. Foley?

  Did you ever see this lady again?

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Not after that, no. I think it was the meatballs.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  I only got the meatballs.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  They bring over the bill?

• 26:28H. Foley?

  Like, these coffees are free, really?

• 26:30Speaker 01

  I'm freaking out.

• 26:32H. Foley?

  Wait a minute.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't...

• 26:34H. Foley?

  You go to brunch with, you go to brunch with a lady, if you go out with her and things develop.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  No, it wasn't...

• 26:40H. Foley?

  And you spend the night, then you take her to brunch.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  I think, I think this was decided...

• 26:43H. Foley?

  Or the OTB.

• 26:44Speaker 01

  I think this was decided later that night, like when we had got home or something. She's like, "Hey, I'd love to see you again," or whatever it was. She was like studying to be a doctor or something. Or like something where she had like LSA or like something.

• 26:58H. Foley?

  Back me up on this. You go to brunch after sex, right?

• 27:00Speaker 02

  We've all looked bad after chasing some heart.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  Buddy, I'm not, I'm not over here bragging saying it was cool. I told you I got the meatballs. I don't think it was cool by any means.

• 27:10H. Foley?

  How were the meatballs?

• 27:12Speaker 01

  It's because she was a very, very pretty Indian girl.

• 27:15H. Foley?

  What's that got to do with the meatballs?

• 27:18Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 27:18Speaker 02

  Explains the tumor.

• 27:19H. Foley?

  Did your kids?

• 27:23H. Foley?

  Did you, did you kiss after brunch?

• 27:25Speaker 01

  I don't think so. I think that was like, I think if I genuinely think it was her being like, let me give this guy one more shot.

• 27:31H. Foley?

  Meatballs and coffee.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  And then meatballs and coffee. And she was like, no thanks.

• 27:35H. Foley?

  Why don't you just get some eggs, man?

• 27:37Speaker 01

  Buddy, I don't know. I had never been on a brunch. I had never been on a date before, like a date date?

• 27:43H. Foley?

  Well, you know, it's not a union dinner, right? You knew that much.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  I'm in a beef and beer. Yeah.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Got marinara all over your cool hoodie.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 27:52H. Foley?

  Can I get a side of horse?

• 27:53Speaker 01

  I gotta wear this to the show tonight.

• 27:54H. Foley?

  Can I get a side of horse radish, please?

• 27:58Speaker 01

  I think I was going down for like Philly's Funniest or something like that. I go back down to Philly for something at Helium. Big competition.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  How'd you get down there? Trainer bots?

• 28:06Speaker 01

  Oh, that boss. Train, dude, the train didn't hit until, well, I had a solid day job. That was the train. But all that, we're not here for, we're not here for my shortcomings. Okay? Mr. GMT over here. Um, all right. So just finish, finish this out.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  And failure comes with a price. Each week, Mystery will choose to send one struggling student home. Until only one remains.

• 28:35Speaker 05

  Who you are today dies here.

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Can Mystery turn the eight social misfits into nightclub Casanova's? Is there a future master among them?

• 28:46Speaker 05

  So you think this game is tough, don't you?

• 28:48Speaker 03

  Find out on The Pickup Artist.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  Pretty good sizzle for the show. I'm hooked. You got this wacky guy coming in. And his whole thing is like, wear wacky stuff. So.

• 29:01H. Foley?

  So you stick out.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  So they go, oh, that's a, that's a cool hat. Yeah. Well, you know, the hat or whatever. Like put the hat on the girl. Then you're opening the set. You know what I mean? You gotta open the set. That's not bad, right? He dressed up as the knight.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  Good morrow.

• 29:21H. Foley?

  Hey, what's up?

• 29:24Speaker 01

  I gotta take a piss, I'll be back in an hour.

• 29:27H. Foley?

  It's raining, I'm all rusty.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  You can't get back in, you're stuck outside.

• 29:35H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  Alright, so, um, this is, uh, we have a couple of lessons here from, maybe me and you could, I think, rule number one. No ground, no ground beef in lunch.

• 29:52Speaker 05

  Have you guys ever developed a crush on your favorite waitress at a restaurant? Because these working beauties are what we like to refer to as hired guns. Women who are hired for their beauty. So here are some tips and tricks and tactics and cognitive tools for picking on.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  Pause, he's got them dressed like him now, he's got them dressed cool, for like, cool LA 2006.

• 30:19H. Foley?

  Are they?

• 30:19Speaker 02

  They look like extras on Entourage, kind of, yeah.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, he's got the trucker hat, he's got a necklace now, the other guy's got like a bandana on, this is like his...

• 30:28Speaker 02

  Johnny Drama kinda looks, yeah.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's misterying them up.

• 30:31Speaker 05

  A hired gun, if she's working, you should be doing something, either you are the observed...

• 30:38Speaker 01

  That's a good looking guy, that's, I mean, like...

• 30:39Speaker 02

  Someone shows up in a cowboy hat and he freaks out?

• 30:41Speaker 01

  That's my thing!

• 30:44Speaker 01

  There can only be one mystery.

• 30:46H. Foley?

  This guy's got the thousand yard stare, go back to that guy, what do you mean, good looking guy?

• 30:50Speaker 05

  Working, you should be doing something, either you are...

• 30:53Speaker 01

  I mean, pause, he's not like...

• 30:54H. Foley?

  When do we put them in the cooler?

• 30:56Speaker 01

  I'm just saying, he could get laid if it wasn't his personality.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  That guy's getting laid.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  He's not ugly.

• 31:04H. Foley?

  No, not at all.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  If he's at the bar with a group of his buddies and his buddy starts hitting, he could jump on a grenade or two.

• 31:09H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  He could end up all the way uptown.

• 31:13Speaker 05

  Observed, or the observing, and we all want to be the observed, and that's where flash game comes into play.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  Got flash, you gotta have flash, a reason for them to look at you.

• 31:25H. Foley?

  Keep this going.

• 31:26Speaker 01

  This is not bad, you gotta be observed, you gotta be the, no, hold on, what is it, there's an observer and an observee, you wanna be observed. Have the broad staring at you.

• 31:36H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 31:38H. Foley?

  How do you do your peeking though?

• 31:40Speaker 05

  Now, the term flash game actually comes from people who take a photograph of you and then others turn to see what's going on. Now, if you are just there going, then you're actually going to lower your social value for the rest of the room because you're flashing negative value.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  You guys taking notes?

• 32:00Speaker 05

  But instead, imagine if you had women with you and you were smiling and laughing and you were taking pictures and you were saying, "All right, hands off, hands off, women, women, please." That sort of behavior within that flash moment...

• 32:12Speaker 01

  I'll pause it.

• 32:13H. Foley?

  Where do you get the chicks to do that though?

• 32:15Speaker 01

  I don't think the matador fully buys into this. If you...he's not making...he's looking down, I think, trying not to laugh. He's not really...he hasn't looked up once.

• 32:27Speaker 05

  ...show preapproval and pre-selection from women to all the other women in the room. And that bartender needs to know that you are pre-selected, right? Make sure you have specific routines and, you know, jokes and have a good sense of humor, systematically demonstrated with the material that you have accrued over however many, you know, months you've been in the game.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Dude, the one guy, the creepo, looks like he's sleeping on the right. He's out to lunch.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  The one guy in the middle, slack-jawed, just like staring.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Dude, that would be me though.

• 32:57H. Foley?

  He looks like Spider-Man's boy.

• 33:01Speaker 05

  ...and over the shoulder, you begin in A3. So what do you got going for you, more than your looks? And that's how you initiate the chat.

• 33:10H. Foley?

  Wait, go back. What'd he say? What, A3?

• 33:13Speaker 02

  You look over here taking notes.

• 33:14H. Foley?

  I just want to see what he says.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  A3 is a code of his.

• 33:17Speaker 05

  ...game, and over the shoulder, you begin in A3. So what do you got going for you, more than your looks?

• 33:24H. Foley?

  What, is that a line he hits it with?

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's a neg. A neg is...

• 33:30H. Foley?

  So what do you got going for you, other than your looks?

• 33:32Speaker 01

  A neg is like a negative...uh, here, I have a definition of it. It's like, like, his definition. Opening. You got a peacock using flashy and attention grabbing...

• 33:42H. Foley?

  So you gotta have other guys working with you, cuz you gotta have somebody to take the picture.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  I mean, in this, I think that was an example of-

• 33:49H. Foley?

  He's saying that like if the three of us went into a bar, I would be there chilling, and like you would be like, "Hey, can I get a picture with you?"

• 33:56Speaker 01

  I don't like, I don't like this thing that you're setting up.

• 33:59H. Foley?

  And Luke would take the picture, and I'd be like, "Yeah, what's up?" And then I'd be like, "Get off."

• 34:03Speaker 01

  Well, people like, "You're pushing me, I'm sorry, buddy. Go get me some beers."

• 34:08H. Foley?

  Hey man, sorry about this.

• 34:11Speaker 01

  I think I can close with the bar thander.

• 34:16H. Foley?

  Hey, somebody beat your ass real quick.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  So you're peacocking, using flashy and attention grabbing clothes and features to attract people to see you. Those are the three second rule. You gotta approach a broad or a set within three seconds of seeing someone you like, or you're gonna talk yourself out of it and lose your chance.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  A neg is a backhanded compliment or a light insult to lower your target's self-esteem and show that you're not impressed.

• 34:43H. Foley?

  That's a dickhead move, you can't be doing that.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 34:48H. Foley?

  What's up fatty?

• 34:48Speaker 01

  Whatever you say fatty. Is it curtain match of drapes?

• 34:53H. Foley?

  I'm all over you.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  Oh, you're throwing your hair. He said, "Get out of here, get some meatballs."

• 34:58H. Foley?

  I don't like that.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  A canned opener, the pick-up artist of the day's relied heavily on canned openers and opinion openers. Example, asking about weird stuff. A false-

• 35:12Speaker 01

  You think this is cancerous?

• 35:17H. Foley?

  Hey, you, uh, like salamanders?

• 35:25H. Foley?

  Yeah, you can slice them in half and-

• 35:27Speaker 01

  The tail still moves.

• 35:31H. Foley?

  Anyway, I'm J-Dog.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  This is my friend the elephant.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  Also, you give them a false time constraint. Say they can only stay for a bit to avoid coming off as clingy, or like you're going to hound them. So, "Hey, I gotta get back to my friends in a minute, I just wanted to see your tits for a second." And then get out of there.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  Hold on, this one's pretty good. Body rocking, you bob back and forth to give people the idea that you might be getting ready to leave soon. This fucking-

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Tying your shoes real tight.

• 36:09H. Foley?

  Shaking your keys.

• 36:14H. Foley?

  Tying your shoes.

• 36:19H. Foley?

  What?

• 36:22H. Foley?

  He runs from a murderer.

• 36:28H. Foley?

  Man, that's something I haven't done in a long time. It's time I use real time.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  Did you ever see the guys that have them too tight? They're like touching. You're like, buddy, what are you doing?

• 36:39H. Foley?

  Hey, Prefontaine, zip it. What? You know Prefontaine is, right? You never saw that movie? Jared Leto, he was a runner. Cross-country runner. Great one. Got killed in a car accident.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  Great, great pull then, though. I didn't know it. Like, great reference, seriously. A cross-country runner, I couldn't name it.

• 37:01H. Foley?

  I just seen the movie.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Who are you, Benedict Cumberbatch? Now, what's Roger Clementine? Who's the guy that broke the four-minute mile? Roger Pedactor. No, that's from Ace Ventura. Jimmy Neutron. Roger, wait, don't, is it RB?

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is RB.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  Bannister.

• 37:19Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 37:20H. Foley?

  Roger Pedactor.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  That's why he killed Roger Pedactor. He found Mr. Winky.

• 37:28Speaker 01

  Talk about opening up his.

• 37:32Speaker 01

  Ah, God, I'm crying, dude.

• 37:35H. Foley?

  All right, let's go. A three.

• 37:36Speaker 05

  With the bartenders.

• 37:37H. Foley?

  I do.

• 37:38Speaker 05

  Hostess and waitress. It's game is game, but you want to systematically demonstrate those DHV spikes as opposed to say them, because we have no time to say them. But you can get the spike to her or flash her from a distance. If I'm speaking with girls, I'm looking over the shoulder, she's working, okay? I'm telling a couple humorous anecdotes, getting response from these girls. And as they're about to laugh, I'm looking, not yet, okay? I'll just add a little timing here to it, and she's turning, and they start laughing. And then I say, all right, all right, hands off, hands off. Did she see it? Perfect.

• 38:19H. Foley?

  Who's he hands off? Who's he talking to?

• 38:22Speaker 01

  The matador.

• 38:23H. Foley?

  So he's got a...

• 38:24Speaker 01

  The matador's feeling him up. Hey buddy, grab my dick real quick. Show her how big it is.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  That's one huge cock!

• 38:35H. Foley?

  But this is all a con! These bunch of... It's like a three-card Monte.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  Do you put your best foot forward when you're talking to broads? You don't go, "Hey, I'm Henry."

• 38:46H. Foley?

  Like I said something funny. I don't do that.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  You did it to me.

• 38:50H. Foley?

  When?

• 38:51Speaker 01

  I don't know. I'm sure you have at some point. Hey, really laugh this in, will you?

• 38:54H. Foley?

  Go ahead.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Gimme your credit card. Make it... Let me order these.

• 39:03Speaker 05

  Now, when you're with a girl that you've just met at any public gathering, it could be

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Look at the glasses.

• 39:09Speaker 05

  Hard to truly build enough comfort. And when this happens,

• 39:12Speaker 01

  This guy's now got blond highlights.

• 39:14H. Foley?

  Wait, is that... Who's that?

• 39:16Speaker 01

  Same guy. He's...

• 39:17H. Foley?

  No, it's not.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's random too.

• 39:18H. Foley?

  Wait, that's the same fat kid that was sitting there with his mouth open? And the trucker hat?

• 39:22Speaker 01

  I mean, his mouth's still open, but he's got a fucking...

• 39:24H. Foley?

  No, it's not.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  It's not closed.

• 39:26H. Foley?

  No.

• 39:26Speaker 01

  Now he's got a shark-tooth necklace, a big one.

• 39:29H. Foley?

  No, that's... He's got... That's a... That's a muano necklace.

• 39:32Speaker 01

  Oh, here we go. Back to the island you go.

• 39:34H. Foley?

  It's a fucking Disney movie. It's the thing that The Rock carries around.

• 39:40H. Foley?

  He beats the island lady with it. Ever seen the movie?

• 39:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 39:43H. Foley?

  It's good.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  But he's got frosted tips in the... Just the front.

• 39:48Speaker 05

  Make your move. Let's talk about the actual getting of the phone number. Because there you are, you're in field. And now you're thinking to yourself, "Okay, I'm now phase-shifting. I'm going from my C1 comfort building. I'm now moving forward into my time bridge. I need to exchange numbers here." But rather than, "Hey, take my card." Card's not enough. Don't give up card.

• 40:10H. Foley?

  You a vacuum salesman?

• 40:11Speaker 01

  This is, that's what I'm saying. This is pre, this is 2006.

• 40:15H. Foley?

  There's no cell phones?

• 40:16Speaker 01

  2005.

• 40:17H. Foley?

  There's cell phones.

• 40:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, but not like, I don't think, I think at that point, I, I'm guessing it was still like, hey, put your number. That was like, now that's like, oh, let me get your number.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  But I feel like if you had a card, you had money. Also that showed. Like if you had a business card.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  Sure, but here's.

• 40:31H. Foley?

  You didn't, because every comic I knew in Philly had a business card.

• 40:34Speaker 01

  I remember moving up here and getting them. I got the little square, the little rectangle ones. Man, I thought I was fucking.

• 40:41H. Foley?

  Doing it.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  I think I probably still have like 500 of them.

• 40:44H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Um, I remember being like, these are $149 well spent. Emptied out my bank account for it.

• 40:50H. Foley?

  We had Center City Comedy business cards.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  You guys should try to find your, all your old promotional material.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  I'm sure I have. I remember not wanting to throw them out like, well after they were needed, because I'm like, this was money I spent on these. You know what I mean? I'm like, I don't want to throw away $119.

• 41:06H. Foley?

  Business cards.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  That was what it ate. Do you have a card? Do you have a card?

• 41:12Speaker 01

  I remember Chris Cotton, God bless him, gave our boy Flip a card. It was, yeah, I guess he had two cards, like one with new information or whatever.

• 41:21H. Foley?

  Was it written on it? Didn't he?

• 41:22Speaker 01

  It stapled. He stapled two together. So it was like he could flip it both ways. It was like, Chris Cotton, don't use the number on the front. Use, use the number on the back. Goes directly to me.

• 41:34H. Foley?

  Yeah, they want Foley's.

• 41:35Speaker 05

  Give her a pad of paper and a pencil and say to her, are you creative? Show me how creative you are. Now, keep in mind, I have to leave.

• 41:41Speaker 04

  So she writes down her phone number when you say that?

• 41:43Speaker 05

  Well, you presume so.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  That guy's like, wait, what? That don't work. Wait, so she's gonna write down her phone number when you do that?

• 41:49H. Foley?

  Hey, man, not for nothing, what's with the glasses?

• 41:53Speaker 01

  You seem a little fucking, these ideas seem a little half cocked. Is your mom gonna pick you up?

• 42:00H. Foley?

  Are we getting lunch?

• 42:02Speaker 05

  Down, you'll say, wow, you're not very creative, are you? Here, let's do this one last time. Hint, dash, dash, dash, dash, dash, dash, dash. I'm leaving now.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  This guy's a dick.

• 42:14Speaker 05

  Could write something creative.

• 42:18Speaker 04

  That's so money.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  That's so money. That's so money.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  Alright, well, uh, let's see the one now.

• 42:33H. Foley?

  High value body language.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  I think we did this. This was.

• 42:37Speaker 02

  No, we didn't do this one yet.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 42:41Speaker 05

  I'd like to move forward now to discuss micro-calibration. The way a man and a woman exchange information is not just based on verbal exchange. There's also a sub-communication happening between the two, non-verbally, through body language. What can I do in order for her to feel she has either done something right and will be rewarded with it, without my saying a word, or she has done something wrong and she should be briefly penalized? Okay? That's not to get angry at her, or say anything even, but that's why a roll-off is absolutely acceptable. Women do it to men all the time. Now, your body language is going to be that...

• 43:23Speaker 01

  Man. Dude, I've been that fat guy in that polo shirt. I have been that dude, being like, "Fuck, I should've worn undershirt." Ah! That is my fucking...

• 43:35Speaker 05

  ...just going to be that of a high-value male. You're going to be non-reactive. The person who moves more is more reactive, and therefore has lower value. You can still be playful, you can still have energy, right? Equal, or a little bit greater? And then you're going to, when you go sit down, you're going to want to forcefully slow down. Look at Joe W.'s body posture, right beside Perdeep here.

• 44:04Speaker 04

  He said he did this last night.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  That was by choice.

• 44:06Speaker 05

  Do you feel that? I mean, that is an example of... Okay, but that's an example of what I think is great body language to a woman who deserves that, or perhaps has not yet...

• 44:18H. Foley?

  Wait, hold on. The guy with the legs crossed was the chick? And the other dude, that was...

• 44:22Speaker 01

  No.

• 44:23H. Foley?

  The body language is leaning in and putting his head on her shoulder?

• 44:26Speaker 01

  I think he was joking. Perdeep was making fun of Perdeep.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  I think he was also doing that last night. They're recapping...

• 44:32Speaker 01

  They're recapping that the guy in the long sleeves...

• 44:34H. Foley?

  He was sitting with his legs crossed like that.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was good, comfortable, like, "I'm a man" body language. That's what I took from it.

• 44:40H. Foley?

  What about the fat guy with the shorts and the...

• 44:42Speaker 02

  And the thong sandals on? I think he's actually saying, "You should only be giving that body language to women who deserve it." So, I don't think any women at the bar yet deserve it.

• 44:54Speaker 05

  ...earned your interest by being all into her. Instead, you can lean back, and you can talk from here. And that's very subtle. You feel a pull.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  Away, you know, I feel that he's less engaged. And I'm gonna wanna chase that.

• 45:11Speaker 05

  And if that happens, then I.

• 45:13Speaker 01

  Dude, he's got a stuffed animal on his shirt.

• 45:15H. Foley?

  That guy lost every roll to Seth Green.

• 45:17Speaker 05

  It is fun, isn't it?

• 45:19Speaker 01

  It's fun, it's fun.

• 45:20Speaker 05

  It's like I get to reward them.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  It's a new level of game. Game. Body language, fatty. You got a lot of it.

• 45:36Speaker 01

  You're going, more bread? Can I get more bread over here?

• 45:40H. Foley?

  Ah, man, this guy.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  It's, he's got.

• 45:44H. Foley?

  How many seasons did this get?

• 45:46Speaker 01

  Two seasons.

• 45:47H. Foley?

  You watched every one, didn't you? Did you ever?

• 45:49Speaker 01

  I applied to be on the second one.

• 45:54H. Foley?

  They wouldn't take ya?

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:59H. Foley?

  Use any of these tactics?

• 46:01Speaker 01

  No, this was like a big joke and this was like before stuff like this was on the internet, 2006. You know what I mean? Like all of this clips and stuff weren't being posted anywhere. So like you would see it and we, this was like a joke. I'm like, did you see the fucking, he's got the hat, he's got the glasses.

• 46:20H. Foley?

  Wasn't using any of his crap?

• 46:21Speaker 01

  No, nobody was.

• 46:22H. Foley?

  Good looking kid. You, on the other hand.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  Chapter five, meatballs.

• 46:30H. Foley?

  You're like that pitcher in major, major league, you got different kinds of vaseline and stuff all over your body. You need the trick balls. Cause you got no heat.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  A long way to get there. The writers on strike again. Um, but he's like, the goal of the, of the, C2, build an emotional and physical connection. The goal of this phase is to double down on the emotional connection and start getting more physical by touching her more. You want her to start being comfortable with your touches. Calibrate your touches. If she likes it, touch more. If she pulls back, stop and talk more before going for a touch again.

• 47:07H. Foley?

  Creep.

• 47:10Speaker 01

  What that, what that smell like?

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Talk before you go back in. The evolution phase shift routine. Tell a story of how animals start having sex and kiss her as you tell her the story, starting from the forearm to the neck till you reach her lips. What? That's fucking crazy. Don't do that out there. You know sheep do it standing up.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  You ever see three goats go at it?

• 47:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, what the fuck? What? That's how you assume like you're not at a bar. You're like more, you've already have made a connection where you're like, that wouldn't be crazy. You've already had your meatballs.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  I said you've already had your meatball.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Now, let me ask you this, after that meatball and coffee. I told you this, I had to. After the meatballs and coffee, what if she was like, hey, you wanna go back to my place? Sure, I gotta take a nap. In a wicked dump.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  Are your roommates home? Good, cuz I'm gonna blow this place up.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  God, what they put in this coffee? Dude, ground beef and coffee is crazy. Ah, dude, I'm trying not to piss my pants.

• 48:51Speaker 01

  You got cables?

• 48:54Speaker 01

  It's the wifi in this dump.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  I think I took a bag with me cuz I was going straight to Philly. Bagging meatballs? You double up on these?

• 49:09Speaker 01

  Like, I think I was going right to Philly that next.

• 49:11Speaker 02

  You got your roller next to you on the table? You got your roller next to you at the table?

• 49:15Speaker 01

  What a Sunday. You guys have a coochie?

• 49:20Speaker 01

  Can I tag my luggage and leave it with you?

• 49:22H. Foley?

  Seeing people with roller bags in the city and you know they're not traveling is so true.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  I was traveling.

• 49:30H. Foley?

  So what if she would have been like, hey, you want to get back to my place? Would you have been able to?

• 49:33Speaker 01

  I would have just quit comedy or whatever gig I had to go to.

• 49:37H. Foley?

  But you could have performed with the belly full of meatballs and coffee and?

• 49:40Speaker 01

  I mean, I, the show, this was at, I don't know, 11 or noon or something. The show wasn't till,

• 49:47Speaker 01

  I don't know, 7 o'clock?

• 49:48H. Foley?

  I gotta get some gum first.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  If we're being honest, I was probably doing 7 minutes. Yeah, I could have, you know what I mean? I could have wandered, I could have stopped.

• 49:56H. Foley?

  On the show?

• 49:57Speaker 01

  I don't know what show it was, but I feel like I, I remember having to get there.

• 50:00H. Foley?

  No, my point is, oh, that's part of the thing.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Oh, I gave her a false time?

• 50:06H. Foley?

  I gotta let-

• 50:07Speaker 01

  I showed up with luggage. Hey Liz, I got a flight to catch. I gotta get the fuck out of here.

• 50:14H. Foley?

  You wanna suck my dick or not?

• 50:21H. Foley?

  Hey dumbass.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  Does the air train run by here? I gotta get to JFK.

• 50:32H. Foley?

  You just take all of them.

• 50:36H. Foley?

  Hey, how are you dumb bitch? Huh? I'm a real important guy. All my friends think I'm funny and I gotta be out here in 10 minutes. Why don't you write your number down?

• 50:45Speaker 01

  So I won't call you after you suck my dick in the closet?

• 50:53H. Foley?

  You ever seen a camel jerk off? Huh?

• 50:57Speaker 01

  You want him?

• 51:02H. Foley?

  He got, he got a fake airline ticket stuck in his dumb mouth. He got a fake airline ticket stuck- It's from the Concord.

• 51:13H. Foley?

  Is that still flying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're cool enough.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  I keep dropping my passport. Eh.

• 51:22H. Foley?

  You guys have Lunchables here? No? Okay, I'll have the meatballs.

• 51:28Speaker 01

  This guy stinks.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  This Chris Angel knows tricks and shit like that. Guy's selling out in Vegas. This guy's closing ass all over the place. I'd rather be this guy than Chris. He's not closing ass. What are you talking about? That shit doesn't work. Some of it's rude frankly. Yeah, no, of course. Jesus Christ dude, I'm dying. Um, alright, so this is, so we have one more video left or two?

• 52:04Speaker 02

  No, we got, this is the last.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 52:06Speaker 02

  Mystery and Matador hard at work.

• 52:08Speaker 01

  So this is, this is Mystery and, and the Matador. I think this might be from season two, I don't know. But this is them. They're going, the guy, the, I think, I think, I remember this episode. I think the boys roll in and try, he goes, "Go open up sets" or whatever. Who? Matador sends the, or the- J-Dog and Matador? No, fucking Mystery sends the contestants in. "Go see what you can do." And they're like, they come out and now he's fucking, he's fucking broads. All have sticks up their ass. They need a good fucking, I tell you, they're all-

• 52:44Speaker 01

  He's having been- Sets dead, dog. Sets dead. That's it, I'm calling it a night. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go hit Mel's.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  I'm gonna grab a short stack, kill them with my blades and whack them. Fuck these bitches.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  Nothing but a fucking softball team in there. I'm gonna hit pick dots and roll back to the mansion. Fuck this shit. Let me know if it gets cracking again.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  But, so then they go in, so then like in Mystery and Mad or Matador uh...

• 53:36H. Foley?

  This gotta be all, alright, let's see this.

• 53:38Speaker 01

  The Matador go in.

• 53:39H. Foley?

  This has gotta be all set up.

• 53:40Speaker 05

  Take a look at Matador and I, showing the boys how it's done.

• 53:45Speaker 05

  Mystery and Matador went into the club to show us how it's done and we got...

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Look at them watch it.

• 53:56Speaker 01

  Started from the beginning.

• 54:00Speaker 01

  Started from the beginning.

• 54:01H. Foley?

  Actually, we was Run DMC.

• 54:03Speaker 05

  Take a look at Matador and I, showing the boys how it's done. Mystery and Matador went into the club to show us how...

• 54:22H. Foley?

  Yeah, god. Your aunt's glasses.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, that guy stinks dude.

• 54:29H. Foley?

  And just a regular t-shirt.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  So he consulted my aunt Trish.

• 54:38Speaker 05

  This is done and we got to watch it on surveillance camera.

• 54:44H. Foley?

  That squad!

• 54:45Speaker 05

  How it's done.

• 54:46H. Foley?

  That squad!

• 54:48Speaker 05

  Mystery and Matador went into the club to show us how it's done and we got to watch it.

• 54:52H. Foley?

  Pause it, pause it. That's a homeless guy on the left.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  Dude, the kid in the middle with the V-neck and the huge forehead?

• 55:08H. Foley?

  Man. Fucking David Copperfield couldn't get these guys laid. Are you kidding me? Holy shit.

• 55:21H. Foley?

  Oh, that's a tough groove.

• 55:23Speaker 05

  What's up?

• 55:24Speaker 04

  Pleasure.

• 55:25Speaker 05

  Hello, hello? Who are you?

• 55:27Speaker 04

  Right off the bat, like, Mystery was talking-

• 55:29Speaker 01

  Look at him, dude. This is pop collar time, too.

• 55:33Speaker 04

  And their matador was talking to another girl. I mean, before they even got into club.

• 55:36H. Foley?

  Yeah, they're actors, you idiot.

• 55:40Speaker 05

  You're huggable. I need to hug you. I don't know why.

• 55:43Speaker 01

  It's so creepy. Dude, you're- I just- listen, I don't condone this was a different time. You'd be fucking pulled out to the town square and shot if you did that.

• 55:52Speaker 02

  Even though Where's My Hug Guy's made fun of now.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  Where's the- wait, My Hug Guy is the thing. I need my huggies. Going for a hug.

• 56:02H. Foley?

  You give him that, you do that.

• 56:05Speaker 05

  For god's sakes, man, take this woman from me.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  Oh, hell, I'll give you 200 bucks to get rid of her from me.

• 56:10Speaker 05

  No, you're lucky.

• 56:11Speaker 04

  They were just pulling from here, left, right. I mean, it was flowing.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  He looks like a Jim Carrey character.

• 56:21Speaker 02

  I mean, it was flowing.

• 56:23Speaker 01

  Look at him. That looks like something from Nathan for you, this guy. The gap tooth, that helmet of a head.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  Here's the amazing thing is, Mystery talks about stuff that I would never think would work. I mean, he was talking about Google Earth. I mean, if I talked about Google Earth, nobody would get within 100 feet of me.

• 56:44Speaker 05

  Have you ever heard of a program on a- it's a free program you can get on the internet called Google Earth?

• 56:52H. Foley?

  The fucking way she's losing.

• 56:56Speaker 01

  You ever heard of porno? That's where I watch my videos.

• 57:02H. Foley?

  Those- come on, those girls wouldn't be buying that. It's all set up.

• 57:06Speaker 01

  Look at the matador rolled in. Now he's got- this is season two, he's got long hair.

• 57:11Speaker 04

  What he does.

• 57:13Speaker 05

  Well, I'm ready to lock in. Even though I'm talking to everyone else, I have a full assessment right now of every single set. Surrounded by love today.

• 57:25H. Foley?

  Oh, this guy stinks.

• 57:26Speaker 05

  I'm going to come over and hug you.

• 57:27H. Foley?

  Matador's got some muscles at least.

• 57:33Speaker 05

  Because you need it. I'll come down for it. Maybe I need it too. No kitty patty, hug type.

• 57:45H. Foley?

  This is Kimberly.

• 57:46Speaker 04

  Hello, hello.

• 57:47H. Foley?

  This is Michelle.

• 57:48Speaker 04

  Are they cool?

• 57:49H. Foley?

  Uh, cool enough. Get the fuck outta here.

• 57:52Speaker 01

  Cool enough, are they cool? Cool enough? Are they cool enough for my three-foot fairy hat I'm currently wearing? Are they gonna dig my vibes?

• 58:02H. Foley?

  You girls like World War I goggles? Get outta here, this is all set up, right?

• 58:07Speaker 01

  I would assume so, yeah. They fucking mad at doors closing ass.

• 58:13H. Foley?

  She's a hooker!

• 58:17H. Foley?

  Lucky he is.

• 58:18Speaker 04

  I want to fight you.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  So weird. I want to fight you.

• 58:28Speaker 04

  Hello?

• 58:29Speaker 03

  Hi.

• 58:29Speaker 04

  I'm here.

• 58:30Speaker 03

  Hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

• 58:31Speaker 04

  You can dress her up, you can't take her anywhere. Michelle? Your friend and I like each other, are you right with that? Yeah, I agree. I mean, don't get me wrong, she may, you know, talk her ear off and turn me off, but... I have eaten girls like you before.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  Pause it. It's like bad dad jo- like, it's like... Oh, you know, "Ah, look at her, you can dress her up, but you can't... Hello, we're talking here", it's like...

• 58:49H. Foley?

  We're just jealous.

• 58:51Speaker 01

  Fucking pussy, stealing all the hot trim. Cut to me and you at the other side of the bar. "Come on, man, there's plenty of dudes here."

• 58:59H. Foley?

  "Google Earth is pretty cool." "Hey, we're waiting on potato skins over here."

• 59:04Speaker 01

  You know, my dad's on Google Earth. He's cutting the grass in his underwear.

• 59:14Speaker 04

  Only one, don't be greedy. I already figured out why you and I are never gonna get along. Oh my god.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Why?

• 59:19Speaker 04

  Now, you know what it is? We're too similar.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  Hello, hello?

• 59:23H. Foley?

  What are you working with here?

• 59:28H. Foley?

  I'm bad with names, what was your first name again?

• 59:30Speaker 04

  Let's imagine, we're brand new to each other, I don't know who the hell you are. Friends of ours have condemned us to have to, uh, stick together.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  J-Dog's got fucking... That J-Dog got replaced in the second season for some broad. Like, woman's perspective.

• 59:44H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  J-Dog probably wasn't closing enough poon.

• 59:47H. Foley?

  Was she hitting on chicks too?

• 59:51Speaker 01

  That'd be it then.

• 59:54Speaker 04

  We gotta go to 7-Eleven and get some eggnog.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 59:57Speaker 04

  Alright?

• 59:58Speaker 01

  Can I get a, can I get a slushy?

• 1:00:00Speaker 04

  No! I love you.

• 1:00:03H. Foley?

  What a slurpee.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  I have what you call liquid happiness in my belly. When I saw Mr. Matador, in that room, it did give me a lot more motivation, but at the same time, it realized how far I have to come.

• 1:00:15Speaker 05

  See, I just, I cannot wait to learn what they have to teach because...

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  Dude, pause it. If some dude, if I was at, not even like my girl or anybody, like if I was at a gr- like, a group of my friends and that guy ran up and started talking to one of the girls in the gr- even if it was like my buddy's cousin or something, I'd be like, "Can I talk to you for a second? If you ever come over here and ask her if we- let's roleplay where we have to go to a 7-Eleven, I'll slap the shit out of you, you fucking creepo. Now, why don't you go buy me a round of drinks as an act of apology?"

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  These are the closing remarks from the boys watching Matador Mystery tear it up.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  These, these are the closing remarks now.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:57Speaker 05

  ...learn in these next eight weeks, sign me up.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  I mean, all-time show. All-time, that guy is a great American. He's actually, he's Canadian, from Toronto.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  I learned a lot.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  I, I mean, that's...

• 1:01:19H. Foley?

  Had to catch a case.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, had to get thrown out of a bar real quick. Uh, yeah, I mean, that's, that shit's fucking insane. That, I, it's ins- it's crazy.

• 1:01:31H. Foley?

  He's got a mic pack on. That's the only reason that shit worked.

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  Oh, look at you getting jealous. It's crazier now looking back on it than it was watching it then. Watching it then, you're like, "This is fucking the corniest shit I've ever seen." Take a note. Um, but I mean, now it's fucking, fucking cringeworthy.

• 1:01:48H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:49Speaker 01

  But we gotta wrap that up, gang.

• 1:01:50H. Foley?

  Jesus Christ. What a fun one. Gang, we love ya. See you next weekend. Peace. Peace.