"Just A guy, not THE guy," and other advice Marielle loves

Marielle joins Raj Punjabi-Johnson and Noah Michelson, hosts of the podcastAm I Doing It Wrong? https://shows.acast.com/am-i-doing-it-wrong about the art of giving advice. The three talk about the best advice they've been given, what they're good at giving advice about, and how they select topics for their respective shows. Follow us on Instagram: @nprlifekit https://www.instagram.com/nprlifekit/?hl=en Sign up for our newsletter here. https://www.npr.org/newsletter/life-kit Have an episode idea or feedback you want to share? Email us at [email protected] mailto:[email protected] Support the show and listen to it sponsor-free by signing up for Life Kit+ at plus.npr.org/lifekit http://plus.npr.org/lifekit See pcm.adswizz.com https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences. NPR Privacy Policy https://www.npr.org/about-npr/179878450/privacy-policy

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This week on the NPR Politics Podcast, the midterm elections are wrapping up and millions of people have already voted. We're taking one final check of the electoral polls with a new NPR PBS News Marist Poll. It shows Democrats still poised to make gains, but also with some warning signs for just how many. We'll explain on the NPR Politics Podcast.

• 0:24Marielle Segarra?

  You're listening to Life Kit from NPR.

• 0:31Marielle Segarra?

  Hey, it's Marielle. Today, we've got a special episode. It's a little meta, actually. A conversation about giving advice. That's what we do here at Life Kit, but we're not the only ones in this advice game. The podcast Am I Doing It Wrong from the Huffington Post? Well, they're like our cousins in a way. Theirs is a conversation show that explores the anxieties we all have about trying to get our lives right. Everything from how to say sorry to how to do your laundry. And their hosts, Raj Punjabi Johnson and Noah Michelson, invited me on to talk about this thing we do, talking to experts, bringing you advice. We get into some of the best advice we've gotten in our personal lives, how we decide when to share personal details on our shows, and some of the episodes we're itching to

• 1:16Marielle Segarra?

  do. It was a really fun conversation, and that's coming up after the break.

• 1:23Speaker 02

  Stay tuned for the following announcements and messages from our sponsors.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  The 2026 midterm elections are upon us. On November 3rd, voters will determine what the next two years of their local leadership and the balance of national government will look like. Listen to the NPR News Now podcast for all the updates you need ahead of and after November 3rd from NPR News.

• 1:50Speaker 03

  This midterm election season, let the NPR app be your guide for clear, independent coverage. You'll find big picture analysis and stories from your community and learn what to watch for on election night and beyond. Head to the polls and stay informed this midterm election season. Download the NPR app at npr.org/2026election. Everything you need in one place.

• 2:14Speaker 04

  This message comes from ProLon. Want to look and feel your best this fall? ProLon's five-day fasting-mimicking diet is a clinically-developed nutrition program with the goal of promoting fat loss while protecting lean body mass. Developed at USC's Longevity Institute, it aims to assist the body in entering a fasting-like state that helps reset metabolism, target visceral fat, and support healthy metabolic markers. Get 15% off plus a bonus gift when you subscribe at prolonlife.com/NPR.

• 2:50Speaker 05

  Hi, I'm Raj Punjabi-Johnson, Head of Identity Content at HuffPost.

• 2:54Speaker 06

  And I'm Noah Michelson, Head of HuffPost Personal. Welcome to a very special bonus episode of Am I Doing It Wrong?

• 3:01Speaker 05

  Today, we are talking to Marielle Segarra, the host of NPR's Life Kit.

• 3:05Speaker 06

  Raj, I love Life Kit. I never thought we'd have this, like, worlds colliding where two advice shows would come together.

• 3:12Speaker 05

  It's gonna be magical.

• 3:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, let's get into it.

• 3:16Speaker 06

  Marielle, thank you for being here. We're so excited to chat with you.

• 3:19Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah, thanks for having me.

• 3:20Speaker 06

  It's, I guess, not that often that, like, three advice-givers-getters all get in a room together. So we thought it'd just be fun to sort of say, like, how do we do this? Why do we do this? What is our, what are our lives like?

• 3:32Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 3:32Speaker 06

  And I guess the question we can start with is, you know, as a professional advice giver or someone who facilitates that, what's the piece, the best piece of advice that you've gotten in your life?

• 3:44Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah, I think I get a lot of really good advice from my dad.

• 3:47Speaker 06

  Hmm.

• 3:48Marielle Segarra?

  He gives advice on a range of things, and they're these pearls of wisdom that come out at just the right moment. So I remember him saying to me after a bad breakup once, this is not, he's not the guy, he's just a guy.

• 4:05Speaker 06

  Oh, I love that.

• 4:06Marielle Segarra?

  You know? And he also told me that I just needed to change the channel in my head, like, turn off this guy's channel and turn and tune into something else.

• 4:17Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:19Marielle Segarra?

  That was so, it was so right, you know? And in that moment, you can't always feel that. You're deep, deep in it. He also told me that...

• 4:29Marielle Segarra?

  You know, when you have like jars of tomato sauce and there's a bit of the sauce that gets on the lid?

• 4:35Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 4:35Marielle Segarra?

  He was like, if you want the jar to last longer and not get moldy, clean off that sauce from the lid. Because that seems to be the first spot that gets moldy. This is not scientifically proven, but it does seem to be true. For, yeah.

• 4:49Speaker 06

  I love that, though, from like high and low, like the whole spectrum of like from men, what to do with men, to like what to do with your tomato sauce jar.

• 4:57Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 4:58Speaker 06

  That's really sweet. Raj, what about you? Best advice you've gotten?

• 5:01Speaker 05

  Oh, um, I think on, on the show, on our podcast, a lot of people encourage us to not judge ourselves.

• 5:09Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 5:10Speaker 05

  And be gentle with ourselves. That's my favorite advice and it keeps coming up. It's a motif. Just, you know, whatever we're talking about, whether it's like cholesterol and heart health, or like a breakup or whatever, it's like, take a beat and just stop judging yourself. And I judge myself so much. I feel like we all do.

• 5:28Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 5:28Speaker 05

  So that feels really good. What about you?

• 5:30Speaker 06

  You're judging yourself less since doing the show?

• 5:32Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. I mean, I, I also have always felt that way, but it's hard to put into practice. I always say that to my friends. I'm like, oh, my God, gentle, please. This is my best friend you're talking about.

• 5:42Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 5:42Speaker 05

  But we forget to do that for ourselves.

• 5:44Speaker 06

  For sure.

• 5:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:45Speaker 06

  My best advice is definitely from two women in my life. First, my mom. She always said, before you send an email or you make a big decision, sleep on it. And I was like, that, I love to like fire something off, you know, and just.

• 5:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:59Speaker 06

  Just the passion inside of me is like, I want to get on this immediately. And she's like, just wait. You can do it in 12 hours. And that has saved me so many times.

• 6:06Speaker 05

  Yeah. Do you find it challenging to wait, though?

• 6:09Speaker 06

  I do, but I'm getting better.

• 6:11Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 6:11Speaker 06

  The more you practice.

• 6:12Speaker 05

  It's kind of look at, it's cool to look at your like former self, maybe like even six months ago and be like, I'm doing this in a way that serves me more.

• 6:19Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 6:19Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah. You can also take a walk. That sounds or take a bath. It sounds so cliche, but there's a reason that in every movie that they say, "Take a walk" when the person is like freaking out.

• 6:32Speaker 06

  It's so true. It gets you into your body. Same thing with taking a shower or a bath is like, "Get out of your head, get into your body, take a second."

• 6:40Speaker 05

  I think a lot of therapists recommend that for people experiencing anxiety too. Just like a temperature change or like a change of scenery or whatever it is.

• 6:49Marielle Segarra?

  Suck on a sour candy.

• 6:51Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 6:52Marielle Segarra?

  Put ice on your face or on your neck.

• 6:54Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 6:55Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 6:55Speaker 06

  Yeah, so smart.

• 6:56Speaker 05

  Kind of magical.

• 6:57Speaker 06

  Also, we've heard to play Tetris.

• 6:59Speaker 05

  Oh, I don't know that one.

• 7:00Speaker 06

  Yeah, you do because you were in the episode when we learned about it from Dr. Schaefer. If you're having a panic attack or you're dealing with heavy emotions, whatever part of your brain uses that you use to play Tetris, sort of like dismantles the panic, which I thought was so interesting.

• 7:17Marielle Segarra?

  I wonder if it has to do with problem solving.

• 7:19Speaker 05

  It has to.

• 7:19Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 7:20Speaker 05

  It's like a different problem solving.

• 7:22Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 7:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, the fact that I didn't remember that means I have a lot of advice like crammed into my head.

• 7:28Speaker 06

  Well, we've all been doing this long time, you know, which I think is kind of an exciting thing to look back and realize.

• 7:34Marielle Segarra?

  Me too.

• 7:34Speaker 06

  The other one I'm going to say too is my old therapist, Gail, when I was 21 and I had just gotten dumped and I was like going through it. And I would catastrophize and she would say, "What's the worst thing that's going to happen if you do that thing or if that thing happens?" And I'd be like, "I know, it's not that big of a deal." And she'd say, "No, I actually want you to name it."

• 7:54Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 7:55Speaker 06

  And once I did, she's like, "Okay, you're not going to die." Like you would get through that, even if it was terrible. And so now I still do that to this day when I'm really anxious about something. I think, "What is the worst possible thing?" And I work backwards from it. And it really helps me.

• 8:11Marielle Segarra?

  So I want to, I've thought about this before.

• 8:13Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 8:13Marielle Segarra?

  In, there were moments when someone said, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" And the worst thing that could happen was really bad. Like, you know, like it could be the worst thing that could happen is that you die.

• 8:24Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 8:24Marielle Segarra?

  But even that as an exercise can be useful because when you actually face your own mortality, you're like, "Oh, okay, I..."

• 8:33Marielle Segarra?

  It's probably not going to be that bad.

• 8:34Speaker 06

  Exactly.

• 8:35Marielle Segarra?

  But if it is, I have no control over it.

• 8:36Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 8:37Marielle Segarra?

  So.

• 8:37Speaker 06

  And if I die, then I'm done. That's what I always say, too. If I die, I'm done. Then I won't be worried about it either, you know?

• 8:43Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 8:44Speaker 06

  That's kind of morbid, but I do feel a release and a liberation in that.

• 8:48Speaker 05

  There is something about that, like I have airplane anxiety sometimes, like turbulence anxiety. And that thing about like, what's the worst that could happen? I sometimes also, the reality hits me that like, I have a lot of love in my life. I've done a lot of things.

• 9:01Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 9:01Speaker 05

  And like, haven't led the worst life. Like, you know, I haven't like, oh, 23 regrets that I'm like, sitting on either.

• 9:09Speaker 06

  Right.

• 9:09Speaker 05

  So, yeah, mortality, that's crazy.

• 9:11Marielle Segarra?

  I mean, this is getting very deep, very quickly, but.

• 9:15Speaker 05

  It's like a bar conversation.

• 9:16Marielle Segarra?

  It's like, yeah, are we drunk right now?

• 9:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:19Marielle Segarra?

  But no, I thought about this when I was diagnosed with cancer in the end of 2023. And then I went through treatment in 2024. And a lot of people, when they are diagnosed, especially if there's, because there's a moment where you're still waiting for your, all your scans and tests and biopsies to come back. And you don't know how serious it is. It hasn't been staged yet.

• 9:42Speaker 06

  Right.

• 9:42Marielle Segarra?

  Um, and you really are confronting like, what am I thinking about dying? In the next six months?

• 9:51Speaker 06

  Mm hmm.

• 9:52Marielle Segarra?

  10 years? Like, or normal? Like, or, or like the expect the hopeful, like when I'm 90? A lot of people, when they're faced with that, they think, oh, my God, I have to make all these changes in my life.

• 10:04Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 10:05Marielle Segarra?

  I didn't feel that way.

• 10:06Speaker 05

  That's really cool.

• 10:07Marielle Segarra?

  Really good.

• 10:08Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 10:09Marielle Segarra?

  I was like, I show people and tell people that I love them. I treat people with care and respect. I'm doing work that's meaningful to me. I have a lot of family and friends and community. I don't know, I, I, I'm not happy all the time, but nobody is. That's not a reasonable expectation. I feel like I'm living a meaningful, joyful life.

• 10:29Speaker 05

  That's kind of magical.

• 10:31Speaker 06

  It's a gift in that moment to have some perspective.

• 10:33Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 10:33Speaker 06

  About what your life is.

• 10:35Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 10:35Speaker 06

  You know? Yeah, that's intense.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  And I know you've talked about your experience on the podcast.

• 10:41Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 10:41Speaker 05

  And I'm, I'm interested in knowing, because we all talk to a lot of experts and we are kind of better versed at some topics than the other. What do you, Marielle, consider yourself an expert in?

• 10:51Marielle Segarra?

  To a certain extent, I have some expertise in having had cancer.

• 10:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:55Marielle Segarra?

  And being, in going through treatment and being a part of. Like being in the hospital and and having to deal with the healthcare system and the the massive bureaucracy that is the healthcare system.

• 11:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:10Marielle Segarra?

  And it doesn't make sense a lot of the time. And I I had some experience with that before, but then when you're going to a lot of of appointments, like you end up bumping up against some some of the most ridiculous things.

• 11:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:24Marielle Segarra?

  And there were many moments where I felt like profit was more important than patients. So there's that aspect of it and just dealing with all the red tape of health insurance.

• 11:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:38Speaker 06

  I feel like I'm not really an expert in anything.

• 11:40Speaker 05

  I don't either. I was thinking about that.

• 11:42Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 11:43Speaker 05

  Too, I think mine's more existential. Mine's like, I feel like I'm an expert. I think I know a lot about therapy because I've been to a lot of therapy.

• 11:50Speaker 06

  Uh huh.

• 11:51Speaker 05

  So like, I'm familiar with what all the talk means. I love psychology, et cetera. And, you know, I feel very comfortable in like talking about therapy. So not an expert, but I I feel comfortable there.

• 12:01Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 12:01Speaker 05

  Where do you feel comfortable and?

• 12:04Speaker 06

  I mean, I've been an editor and a writer for almost 20 years, so I feel like storytelling is something I'm really good at. I'm really good at zooming out and seeing the big picture. And I really enjoy that. So someone will come to me, even even Benji, he's my partner, he's a reporter, and he'll say, you know, I'm writing this thing, and I'll say, okay, but did you think about this part of it?

• 12:23Marielle Segarra?

  Right.

• 12:23Speaker 06

  I feel like I'm often like on the space station, three miles up from the story, and I can see the whole thing.

• 12:30Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 12:30Speaker 06

  And I find that really, really enjoyable.

• 12:33Speaker 05

  I just have to say one more thing, just from like being around Noah. Noah is an expert in people, in humans.

• 12:39Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 12:39Speaker 05

  Like, I've seen him communicate with people in that, like, everyone he's ever communicated with, like, in a very tactful, diplomatic way.

• 12:47Speaker 06

  That's very sweet.

• 12:47Speaker 05

  Gentle and kind. Sometimes, like, we get interesting emails, like, for the both of us, and I'm like, are you effing kidding me?

• 12:55Speaker 06

  Right.

• 12:55Speaker 05

  And Noah writes back this, like, thoughtful, balanced, unbothered email.

• 13:00Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 13:00Speaker 05

  And I'm just like, oh, I always have to curse this dude out.

• 13:04Speaker 06

  I, that's because I take a beat. That's what my mom told me. I probably want to curse him out, too, but I was like, let's just wait a second and see what my real feelings are.

• 13:11Speaker 05

  Well adjusted.

• 13:12Speaker 06

  I would love to know more about Life Kit and how you guys choose what topics to do. Like, what's that process like?

• 13:19Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah, a lot of it, and y'all may do this as well, it comes from your own life, right? You're just, you're. Walking through the world and realize that you don't actually fully understand this thing. When we have our pitch meetings, a lot of episode ideas come from either from me, our showrunner, our producers, our reporter. Everybody sort of tunes into what's going on in their lives, I think, and that inspires some of their questions. We also get, we get a lot of book pitches, so we will go through those and, and sort of look, especially for books that have takeaways that are clear in them.

• 14:00Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 14:01Marielle Segarra?

  Because sometimes there can be a book that has really interesting research, but it's more defining the problem than it is like coming up with a, a solution or, or even like researching a solution. We also do episodes where we have reporters from our newsroom come in. So whatever slice they're covering. Yeah, like our reporter, Will Stone, he covers, he's a health correspondent for NPR. And he just did a whole newsletter for us on strength training. Oh, cool. And also like we had him on the show to talk about it and just like myths about strength training, which were really useful and surprising to me, too. Yeah. Yeah.

• 14:43Speaker 06

  I think we're similar.

• 14:44Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 14:45Speaker 06

  In how we choose. It is a lot of like what we are dealing with. I think the trick for us, which, and I love this, we were talking about this earlier before we came out on the air, you guys can do sort of like more specific or little chunks, because sometimes you just do 15 minutes. And Raj and I usually talk for at least 35, 40. So we want a topic that feels big enough that we can really spend some time on it, but not so big that we can't get everything or we can't get into it. Sometimes I think we think some things feel too specific.

• 15:14Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 15:15Speaker 06

  Like, we would love to do an episode on weddings, for say.

• 15:17Marielle Segarra?

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:18Speaker 06

  But- It's like weddings are so different. Depending on your budget, depending on your culture, depending on what you want. So like, how do you give people advice about weddings? When it could be so wildly different? We haven't cracked that one yet.

• 15:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, there are some topics where I'm like, I don't even know how we're gonna approach this because it would be like four episodes.

• 15:37Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 15:38Speaker 05

  But I do think we also think a lot about what would feel very universal.

• 15:43Speaker 06

  Uh huh.

• 15:44Speaker 05

  And there are. At first I was like, oh no, we're all so, we all have like different cultural perspectives. No, there are certain things that especially, like we had an episode on laundry. Like full episode. It was one of our most popular ones.

• 15:58Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 15:59Speaker 05

  Everyone is thinking about this and like it's very universally appealing. And it's kind of cool to get into that mindset. Like what are we all kind of struggling with?

• 16:07Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 16:08Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah, the day to day stuff. I think those broad episodes that could appeal to a lot of people tend to do well. Anything on finance or health.

• 16:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:19Marielle Segarra?

  And then life skills like laundry, like you said. Weddings is a certain subset of people.

• 16:24Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 16:25Marielle Segarra?

  Sometimes, I mean, I know we've done some coverage on weddings, maybe not recently, but it can help to try to take a slice, I think.

• 16:32Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 16:32Marielle Segarra?

  Like what about weddings? Like is it, or even think of a slice of what stage are you at in the process? Like, are you deciding whether you want to have a wedding at all? Are you, you know, just starting to plan the wedding? Is it the day before your wedding? And you're like, how do I actually have a good wedding day?

• 16:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:51Marielle Segarra?

  You know, or like, how do you set yourself up to have a good wedding day?

• 16:54Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 16:54Marielle Segarra?

  What kind of work do you put into it? Or maybe it's thinking about like the scope of the wedding. Because maybe for you, like it's to have a good wedding day. It can't be some massive thing, some, some performance essentially.

• 17:09Speaker 06

  Right.

• 17:10Marielle Segarra?

  Or it could be like, if you're, I could see you doing an episode about like. Deciding what kind of wedding you want. And part of that is also communicating with your family and and setting expectations and and saying like, I know that this may be disappointing to you, but this is what we're deciding to do.

• 17:31Speaker 06

  It's so true. Benji and I just got engaged and we're planning our wedding right now. And I've realized more and more that like, the wedding's not actually about you. Or often it isn't. It's about all these other people's expectations of what they want.

• 17:44Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 17:44Speaker 06

  Especially if you have someone else paying for it. If your parents are paying for it. What do they want? You know what I mean? What does grandma want? Like,

• 17:50Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 17:50Speaker 06

  There's so much to take into it. I will say Benji and I are not considering anyone else's feelings. We're literally having the party that we want to have, but um.

• 17:59Speaker 05

  I will say, first of all, a cool thing you can do is get married in a non- or like later. I got married when I was like 40 and no one really had a say because people are just excited that I was gonna do it.

• 18:10Speaker 06

  They're like, finally.

• 18:11Speaker 05

  Oh my god, do whatever you want. So it became absolutely about me and my partner. I also have to say, I love this slice kind of thing because there's also like being a wedding, a good wedding guest. There's like gifting. Like, I think there's like several layers to that wedding cake, if you will.

• 18:28Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 18:28Speaker 05

  And I, I think we can have whole episodes on that.

• 18:32Speaker 06

  I think the thing that we struggle with is that we only have one episode a week.

• 18:36Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 18:36Speaker 06

  And so if we have a really sort of a slice that a lot of people just aren't going to care about.

• 18:41Marielle Segarra?

  Right.

• 18:41Speaker 06

  They're gonna dip out, you know?

• 18:43Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 06

  And and that's something we worried about more when we first started. I think we now thankfully have a lot of listeners who just want to hear about a topic.

• 18:50Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 18:50Speaker 06

  Even if they don't care that much, they're just like, oh, maybe I'll learn something. And that's exciting too, but it's it's sort of like an algorithm thing. It's like, how do we figure out what people really want to hear?

• 19:01Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah. No, that's a good point because we have three episodes a week.

• 19:04Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 19:04Marielle Segarra?

  So.

• 19:05Speaker 06

  I'm so jealous of that.

• 19:07Marielle Segarra?

  We have more room to give a buffet, as Meghan puts it, sometimes our showrunner. And that seems to work really well for us. We also have the radio show, so, which is a version of one of the episodes from the week. And we have our, like, our Instagram, and we do a lot of Instagram videos, and we have our newsletter. So everything kind of like, we can use little pieces from different things, or even like, we do versions of an episode for All Things Considered, or Morning Edition, and that'll be like a three or four minute version of it.

• 19:42Speaker 06

  That's so smart, though. I love that.

• 19:44Speaker 05

  I have a follow-up with that one. With all the different mediums, do you feel like you have a different audience in mind? Like, how do you think about, who are you talking to? In Life Kit especially, I think that's something that we think about, too.

• 19:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 19:56Marielle Segarra?

  Yes. I think we do have a different audience, especially for radio, for traditional radio broadcast, is, tends to skew a little bit older. And also, it's a more general audience in the sense that they're not necessarily seeking you out. They're turning on their radio, maybe when they're in the car, maybe when they first wake up. That's part of their routine. And there are some shows that radio listeners will seek out, like, they're like, oh, I always listen to Brian Lehrer in the morning, or whatever. But very often, it'll be people who are just, just listening to NPR. And so, you have to, I think, give more context and also choose topics for the radio show, or for those, those like, four-minute

• 20:39Marielle Segarra?

  pieces that would apply to a quite broad audience. Whereas on the podcast, you can go a little more narrow, because people are coming to you, and they're, they can read the headline and say, yeah, interested, not interested, you know. And they'll, if they're not interested in an episode, they might listen still, because they just like the vibe, or they are like, oh, well, it's not really for me, but my sister's going through something like this. Or they might skip that one, and then, and then listen to the next one. I think for our audience in general, for the Life Kit audience, I would say that we're going for people who are

• 21:18Marielle Segarra?

  Sort of striving, um, they, they want to make their lives better. They want to kind of, it's, I mean, it's similar to like the title of your show, Am I Doing It Wrong? Like, um, how do I do it right? You know, or how do I just feel better? How do I, how do I get to the next step in my life? Maybe I'm thinking about like, am I going to try to buy property? Or am I gonna pay off my student loans? Or how can I kind of get my finances in order? Or I want to be healthier. I want to make sure I'm on top of my screenings for whatever it is, like colon cancer or breast cancer. Or like, I want to start a new habit, like people who are trying to do something.

• 21:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 21:58Marielle Segarra?

  I find that that's a lot of our audience.

• 22:02Speaker 05

  You know, my friend Shia uses this word a lot and ease.

• 22:07Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 22:07Speaker 05

  Where I think it's, it's not the first thing I go to, but it's exactly what I'm looking for more in life. And I don't mean ease as in like I get to sit back and do nothing. I mean, ease as in less struggle.

• 22:19Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 22:19Speaker 05

  So when I'm trying to learn about, you know, doing my lipids labs on time and like maybe being better financially and like doing my taxes earlier and being better, like what you're talking about, it's to bring more ease in my life.

• 22:31Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 22:32Speaker 05

  I want less struggle. Some mornings I wake up and I'm like, oh my God, I have 70 things to do and I'm late to all of them.

• 22:37Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 22:38Speaker 05

  I need less of that.

• 22:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 22:39Speaker 05

  Like, who wants that to happen to their blood pressure? Like, no one. It's just stressful, like.

• 22:44Speaker 06

  We actually get a lot of grief from people about the name of the show. And they say, you know, I, I feel like you are like telling us that we're doing everything wrong. And like, if you actually listen to the show, that's sort of the opposite. Like, the show is sort of a provocative title.

• 22:58Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 22:59Speaker 06

  But what you find out when you listen to the show is that Raj and I are doing everything wrong. And we just, like you said, we want to do it a little bit better.

• 23:05Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 23:06Speaker 05

  And we're like joyful and non judgmental about it.

• 23:08Speaker 06

  Exactly. And, and so like, I think that is the thing is that like, these shows are supposed to help people not be as anxious about life.

• 23:15Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 23:15Speaker 06

  Um, you know, and I loved, you just had an episode with Prue Leith from Bake Off that you reran.

• 23:21Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 23:21Speaker 06

  And I was listening to it today and she was talking about her new cookbook and how it's called something like, it's life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

• 23:28Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:29Speaker 06

  And she was saying, you know, like, yeah, like spend your time worrying about things that really matter. And I think these kinds of shows that we do, and I feel really lucky to get to be part of it, is like, we are telling people like, here are some ways just to make life a little easier. And you can pick one or two and maybe try it. And if you do. Things could be better. And if you don't, that's fine, too.

• 23:48Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, ultimately, there's not someone, there's no like permanent record. You know, there's no report card that someone's keeping track of, of everything you do. These changes that you make are just for yourself, really, or your family, you and your family, like. And the idea of making your life easier, I like that a lot because it's sort of like, sometimes I have things in my house that have just been a certain way for so long that I don't think about it. And then you can make one minor design change. Yeah. And you're like, oh, that's so much easier. Your life changes. Your whole life changes. Yeah, like getting a different laundry basket or getting like, oh, now that I, this is actually kind of the reverse of it. I have to figure out a solution, but I

• 24:34Marielle Segarra?

  installed a new bathroom sink and what's it called? The vanity thing. Vanity underneath it. Uh, is that like, you know, Yeah, yeah. The drawer thing underneath it. And also we redid the tile in the bathroom. So now it's a little bit higher and then the, the mirror on the wall is in the same place. So the, the mirror that swings, the door swings open, hits the soap dispenser and knocks it over every time. So I have to get a different soap dispenser because this is just like not tenable. Yeah. But guess what? That's your morning routine and I feel like it, it shapes your whole day when like things.

• 25:13Speaker 06

  That is life. That is part of life.

• 25:15Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah. All those little things, little tweaks that you can make that it's like, oh, I actually can change my life and even in these small ways. And it changes my, my feeling of, am I in chaos or am I, do I kind of have this? That's the struggle I'm talking about. I want, I just want to feel less mental chaos.

• 25:34Speaker 06

  Well, that makes me wonder for you two, what is, are some things that you've learned from hosting the show, your shows?

• 25:41Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 25:41Speaker 06

  That you've actually incorporated into your own life, you know? What are, what are, what are some of the advice that you've gotten in, in real time? And you're like, actually that made my own life better.

• 25:50Marielle Segarra?

  So many things.

• 25:51Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 25:52Marielle Segarra?

  Well, one thing that I've actually been doing is I got an alarm clock.

• 25:58Marielle Segarra?

  And I moved my phone out of my room. So many people have told us to do that. I can't do it. I'm so jealous of you. I got an analog alarm clock. It does not connect to the internet. Yep. So it's great. Like, it makes me really happy that I finally was able to do this because I kept scrolling through my phone every morning. And even when I would block the apps, like Instagram or whatever, I still would find stuff to look at on the phone. Completely, yeah. You know, the weather app. Yeah, you deep dive in the weather. It's just ridiculous. Or looking at old photos or whatever. And it's like, I don't want the first thing I do to be looking at this device. Mm-hmm.

• 26:36Marielle Segarra?

  So we have done a lot of episodes around, you know, phone health, like basically how to, how to have some separation from your phone and use it as a tool rather than letting it use you. Yeah. Um, also, there's one, there, it's everything from like, like, big picture emotional to the tiny little things. Like, when you get another laundry tip, if you get blood stains on something, you can use hydrogen peroxide to remove them. And it works so well. Yeah. It just kind of disappears it instantly. Apparently, you can also try using cold water, but I kind of like the hydrogen peroxide. It makes it like bubble. Bubble, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:18Marielle Segarra?

  And it just works really well. Another is about moving, like, just, you, first of all, that you don't have to do your exercise all in one chunk. You don't have to do your cardio all in like one thirty minute slot. You can do it throughout the day and just fit things in and tie them together with something else you're already doing. So you do calf raises when you brush your teeth, you know? Ah. Yesterday, as I was writing this episode, which is about investing diversification, and it was really thick. It was like, it's nutrient dense. Um, and so every time I wrote, I finished writing a section of it, I would do ten squats. I love that. Yeah. And it helped me also get, like, I don't know, it helped me think in a way.

• 28:03Speaker 05

  Oh, we just, I had an episode with Dr. Wendy Suzuki on, you know, memory and exercise and brain health. And she was talking about that and it was so useful. Like, I love the idea of kind of like exercising throughout the day. And yeah, your creativity and your like mental acuity, just like, yeah, it's

• 28:20Marielle Segarra?

  You get sharper.

• 28:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, the mind body link is real. And I think, yeah, the more you move your body, the more, I find that too, when I'm trying to write something, I go on a walk. And I write a lot of the piece I'm writing in my notes app on my phone.

• 28:33Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah, that's so fun.

• 28:33Speaker 06

  I need a little bit of distraction and my body's moving. And yeah, I think that's great. Raj, what are some of the things that you have learned that you have incorporated?

• 28:42Speaker 05

  Uh, one that I am thinking about right now, because we're talking about brain health, we had a brain health episode with Dr. Rita. And I remember, you know, I bring up advices in our podcast a lot, like smoking weed and drinking and things I do to like, just regulate and self sedate, I'm sorry.

• 28:59Speaker 06

  Raj loves a martini.

• 29:00Speaker 05

  Yeah. And Dr. Rita gave me permission to have my martini when I get, I do get, you know, lectured a lot in a, in a good way, as I should about alcohol. But she was like, have the martini, like drink your drinks, but then for forty eight, forty eight hours after you have to like flush your life out, like water, like vegetables and stuff. And like, it was a very specific piece of advice. And you can take it if you want to, but it did make me think a lot about moderation and just balance in life. Like, I'm a yogi and that goes with yoga a lot, like, you know, being able to balance things, you know?

• 29:33Speaker 06

  We did get a very angry email, though, about that tip where they said, you're a doctor, how dare you say that we can drink, like drinking is so bad for you. And that's the other thing we love about our experts, I think, is that we, our experts are pretty good about moderation, too. We don't want to be prescriptive. We don't want to be prohibitive.

• 29:50Speaker 05

  It's not realistic. People aren't gonna do it. And also, think about how we feel about authority that's too prescriptive. Like, we're just gonna shut it off. Like, it feels judgy.

• 29:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, I agree.

• 29:58Speaker 05

  What about you?

• 29:59Speaker 06

  So.

• 30:00Speaker 05

  I feel like so many good things and you you take good advice.

• 30:04Speaker 06

  We have this amazing guest named Jason Tetro. He's called the Germ Guy. He lives in Canada. And he's done a bunch of episodes with us about like just germs everywhere. One of the ones that just shocked me was the idea of a poo plume.

• 30:17Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:18Speaker 06

  So when you flush the toilet, if you don't shut the lid, poo is just flying up up to six feet in the air.

• 30:24Marielle Segarra?

  Stop.

• 30:25Speaker 06

  And landing everywhere. If your toothbrush is by the toilet.

• 30:28Speaker 05

  You know.

• 30:28Speaker 06

  There's probably poo on it. So.

• 30:30Marielle Segarra?

  I do know that. Like, I do keep my toothbrush in in that little cabinet.

• 30:34Speaker 05

  That's very smart.

• 30:36Marielle Segarra?

  But like, what about when you're at the at, you know, a restaurant and you're in the bathroom and it doesn't have a lid?

• 30:42Speaker 06

  He says, literally, he's like, flush it and run.

• 30:47Speaker 05

  I I do that.

• 30:48Speaker 06

  Get out of the stall. He's like, make sure you're ready to go.

• 30:50Speaker 05

  I flush. I've said this on that podcast episode. I flush with my foot and I run. I'm like extra. There are some things that we care about, like as individuals, and some things we care less about. I'm really weird about the poo plume and the pee plume.

• 31:02Speaker 06

  And for the most part, the poo plume's not going to hurt you, you know?

• 31:06Marielle Segarra?

  Well, that's the thing. It's like, if it were, then people would be getting really sick all the time.

• 31:11Speaker 06

  But just in my head, once I heard that, I was like, I shut the I shut the lid every single time and I and I run as well. So. Things like that.

• 31:20Speaker 05

  I love a public bathroom sprinter. Like, that's who I am now.

• 31:23Speaker 06

  Yeah. Another one, too. We had an episode on like how to take care of your eyes. And I wear contacts and she was like, do not ever sleep in your contacts. Never.

• 31:32Speaker 05

  Or wear them in the shower.

• 31:33Speaker 06

  Or wear them in the shower. I still do that. I know. But that was that seemed less dangerous. Maybe I'm just telling myself that. But she was like. I was like, if I'm, you know, away for a weekend and I forgot my solution to store my contacts, would you rather I slept in them or put them in tap water? She was like, I would rather that you just couldn't see for the weekend.

• 31:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:53Speaker 06

  Do not do either. And so like that. I get a lot of wake up calls on this show.

• 31:57Speaker 05

  Because I do appreciate the drama because I think I take things like I'm a little too lax about things. And when these experts who are really, you know, experts in their field in every sense of the word, look into our eyes and tell us things like, I'm like, okay, maybe I should take this seriously.

• 32:12Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 32:13Marielle Segarra?

  But, okay, if you can't see, it depends how bad your eyesight is. Mine is so bad. But if you can't see for the weekend, like, you're gonna crash your car.

• 32:20Speaker 06

  Absolutely. I mean, I hope you're not driving. No, you're right. There are always things, but she was just kind of saying like, it's really bad to sleep in your contacts.

• 32:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:27Speaker 06

  And I think a lot of us haven't thought about that.

• 32:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. I've sort of taken my glasses places because I took that very seriously.

• 32:34Speaker 06

  Are there topics or episodes that are too personal? Is there anything that you that you wouldn't do?

• 32:41Marielle Segarra?

  Hmm, I think we've had a hard time finding a way into talking about sex. Even though it's a big part of life.

• 32:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 32:49Marielle Segarra?

  Because I I also do allow some of my personal life into the show. And I try to be intentional about it. So like, I will share something when it feels like it furthers the point, or it might make people feel less alone, or it just like helps explain something. But there are certain things that are off limits for me. I'm figuring out what those are. But really, it's about like, personal details, about my family, anything like that. And also about who my my love life, you know?

• 33:25Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:25Marielle Segarra?

  I can talk in the abstract about things like, oh, I went through a breakup and my dad gave me this advice. But I'm not gonna say, you know, well, I'm dating this person right now and blah, blah, blah, you know? And even the mention of dating sometimes in like, even saying that I am someone who dates or like has dated or whatever, like implies sex. And then so suddenly you feel like. I don't know, I came up as a reporter, like, I wasn't used to sharing anything of myself. I get it. So it's, I feel like that also could open the door to you being seen in a sexual way.

• 34:05Marielle Segarra?

  And sometimes that can happen even when you haven't said anything about that part of your life. It's like, people can make weird comments. I shared this on another show, actually, but someone wrote a comment about how I say my last name, which is Segarra, it's a Puerto Rican last name. They said that it's over the top and it sounds like I'm having an orgasm every time I say it. Oh, I can't. And I was like, a rolled R sounds like an orgasm to you, interesting, you know?

• 34:34Speaker 06

  That says a lot about you.

• 34:35Marielle Segarra?

  It says a lot about you, yeah. But I felt like you took something that's very sacred to me and made it sexual. And then also turned me into a sex object, you know, like in that moment. It's totally, yeah, it's totally racist. Like, it's misogynistic, too. It's all of the things. Yeah, it was just gross in a lot of ways, but things like that sometimes make me hesitate even more. I hate that, though. Yeah.

• 35:04Speaker 06

  But it's true, as a public figure, which we all are now, just by default. And then as a woman who's a public figure, like, the stakes are higher, I think. And I don't blame you for even hesitating about that.

• 35:17Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah, wanting to shield that part of myself. And in general, being with NPR, there are some things that we, especially on the radio, that you can't talk about. Even when we have episodes on, like, we did an episode on constipation. And it's like, we had to, I don't think we've run it on the radio. But if you're doing it in a medical context, like, it's probably okay. But sometimes it can be a fine line and you're like, okay, there, there's stuff that I think maybe... We're a little more conservative about for that reason. But yeah, I think and and sex is just like, it's like, what are we doing? Like, what kind of tips are we gonna give you? Well, you know, that's like a whole other podcast.

• 35:59Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 36:00Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 06

  What about you? Stuff that is that you consider off limits?

• 36:04Speaker 05

  I was thinking about, like, you you share a lot of personal stuff, but in a really balanced way.

• 36:10Speaker 06

  I'm an overshare.

• 36:11Speaker 05

  I'm an overshare too. And I have to really think about what I'm saying, because when I'm sitting here sometimes, especially because like, the wonderful people and producers I work with are like dope women. And I I feel very comfortable with Noah, so I'm kikiing with my girlfriends.

• 36:28Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 36:29Speaker 05

  And I it can get out of control. I I like a good laugh.

• 36:33Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 36:33Speaker 05

  And I have to be really, and it's about other people. Like, it's about my partner, it's about my family. Like, I don't want to give any details that they would feel violated by.

• 36:41Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 36:41Speaker 05

  Because there's very little I can say about myself that, you know, I I'm a very open book.

• 36:46Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 36:46Speaker 05

  Um, for for better or worse.

• 36:47Speaker 06

  But you're right, you have to remember.

• 36:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, there's other people.

• 36:50Speaker 06

  And the platform you have and how many people are going to hear it and all of that.

• 36:53Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 36:53Speaker 06

  That's important to consider.

• 36:55Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah. You can forget that people listen. And it can feel like you're just having a really fun conversation.

• 37:00Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 37:01Marielle Segarra?

  And there are things that I would be, I'm very open, one on one with people, even if I've just met them. Like, I'm, I can be.

• 37:07Speaker 05

  Same.

• 37:07Marielle Segarra?

  Like, you know, I'm, I'm OK with talking about having had breast cancer, like, pretty quickly. Apparently, I don't think it's something that we should stigmatize, you know?

• 37:16Speaker 05

  That's right.

• 37:16Marielle Segarra?

  And I think that makes people feel less alone. But, yeah, I'm, and I did talk about that on the show, but there are things that I would like joke around with you guys, for instance.

• 37:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:26Marielle Segarra?

  About, you know, off mic, that I wouldn't on mic.

• 37:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:30Marielle Segarra?

  Because I'd just be like, that part of myself, I don't know who's gonna listen to this. You know, I'm sharing this now with anybody, basically.

• 37:39Speaker 06

  Absolutely.

• 37:39Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 37:40Speaker 05

  Exactly. Noah, is there any subject you don't feel comfortable?

• 37:44Speaker 06

  I don't have anything, but I also came up, you know, a lot of the work that I did before I started doing this is like, I wrote these crazy essays every week about the queer community.

• 37:53Marielle Segarra?

  Hmm.

• 37:53Speaker 06

  And it was like activism in a way. And like, I was writing about being sexually assaulted. I was writing about my dad dying of cancer. Like, I put so much of myself out in the world, but.

• 38:02Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 38:03Speaker 06

  I don't think a lot of people do do that. I and I.

• 38:06Speaker 05

  No, it's not the norm.

• 38:07Speaker 06

  It's not the norm. And it, and like you were saying, a lot can come with that. And people feel like they know you then. People feel like they have a right to comment on your life then.

• 38:16Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 38:17Speaker 06

  You have to decide, you know, how much you want to share.

• 38:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:20Speaker 06

  That's really important.

• 38:21Speaker 05

  And I think being intentional about it is protecting yourself. We had an episode of the podcast, it's the only one that I did not co-host. It was on grief for a number of reasons. I don't feel I could have talked about the subjects they were talking about grief related. I didn't feel safe and Noah was so gentle about it and so was everyone else. And we had a wonderful colleague step in and it was such a great episode. I couldn't have been my best self.

• 38:46Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 38:47Speaker 05

  And I think being like, this is me at 41. Me at 25 would have powered through it and then probably had like a mentee be after. And like called my therapist, like scream crying. So like, why? For what? You know, I want to give to the world what I can. And then what I can't, I'm going to ask someone else to do it.

• 39:05Speaker 06

  I love that.

• 39:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:06Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah. That's great. I'm glad you did that.

• 39:09Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 39:10Marielle Segarra?

  I feel much more myself, much more confident in myself as the years pass. And I actually, another piece of advice that I got that I, that has stuck with me was from my therapist. It was like, you don't have to be nice all the time or nice to everyone. You know, what is even like reexamining what niceness is and how authentic it is. You know, that doesn't mean, don't be kind or loving. It doesn't mean be like rude to people or mean. It, it just means like, you don't always have to put on this act like you're the nice girl.

• 39:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:47Marielle Segarra?

  When what's happening in this situation doesn't deserve niceness.

• 39:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:52Marielle Segarra?

  You know, that has stuck with me and I really put that into play in my life in the past, like five years.

• 40:00Speaker 05

  That's beautiful. I want to also ask, we talked about things that we are not necessarily comfortable talking about. Are there any topics where you feel like are such an enigma that everyone wants to know about, but you like? Haven't gotten great advice about it, or you can't really find it. And I'm going to give you an example. Like, we're going to do an episode on dreaming. There's some science behind it, but there's still a lot we don't know. So it's like, there's a certain comfort to like figuring out how to do it right. Some topics you actually can't do right or like get better at because we haven't nailed down enough information.

• 40:30Speaker 06

  Yeah, we did one on headaches too. And we had the head of the Yale School of Medicine for headaches. And it blew our mind because we talked to him for like an hour. And at the end, I was like, Raj, I'm not sure that we've learned how to do headaches better.

• 40:42Speaker 05

  No, we did learn a lot.

• 40:43Speaker 06

  We learned a ton.

• 40:44Speaker 05

  But not how to.

• 40:45Speaker 06

  But we didn't learn that much. It was actually practical advice because he was just like, we're still learning a lot and they're really complicated.

• 40:51Marielle Segarra?

  That is the challenge when you're, especially in the medical field. There's just a lot that we don't know.

• 40:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 40:57Marielle Segarra?

  And we assume that doctors know everything.

• 41:00Speaker 05

  Right.

• 41:00Marielle Segarra?

  And actually, there's a lot that they just sort of shrug and say, well, we can't find the cause for your pain.

• 41:08Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 41:08Speaker 05

  You know? Terrifying.

• 41:09Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah. There's a lot where they're still researching. The, the further you get into it, the, the more confused you get sometimes. I think that sometimes when there is debate, like there, for instance, like when we did the breast cancer screening episode, there are different guidelines from different medical organizations for when women should start getting mammograms and also whether they should do breast self exams or like a physical breast exam in their doctor's office. Whether those are useful or not. And it makes sense, given their specialties, right? Like, the gynecological association is like, we see the benefit of doing these exams. We find breast cancer this way.

• 41:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:53Marielle Segarra?

  Especially for women who are not eligible for mammograms yet, which is happening more and more that women under 40 are getting breast cancer. That's, I was 34 when I was diagnosed.

• 42:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:03Marielle Segarra?

  And my doctor found it by feeling it on a, just in a regular gynecological exam. So. They will say, no, you should keep doing them. And then like other medical groups that are that are reputable will say, no, you don't need to do those. Their like research shows that that it doesn't generally increase the risks of or or increase the chances of survival or whatever their their reasons are. So in terms of giving advice on this thing, like we had to pull back in that episode and say, okay, so there's disagreement here. Here's what's underneath the disagreement. Here's what these people say. Here's what these experts say. And then we talked to two oncologists, two breast oncologists who were like, we think generally should start your mammograms at age 40 unless you have

• 42:48Speaker 06

  History.

• 42:49Marielle Segarra?

  history or like a genetic mutation and you should get those physical exams done. Like they're more conservative because they see young women coming in with breast cancer all the time. When there's something that where there's still debate over it, reasonable debate, we try to explain what

• 43:07Speaker 06

  What the debate is.

• 43:08Marielle Segarra?

  What the debate is about. Not always, like sometimes it's so in the weeds and so unclear that you can't really do an episode about that topic.

• 43:20Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 43:20Marielle Segarra?

  But if it's something that is affecting so many people like headaches, it kind of feels like you need to do the episode.

• 43:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 43:28Marielle Segarra?

  And just explain what's out there.

• 43:30Speaker 06

  Exactly. And that's where we sort of landed. It was like, we maybe can't give you great advice on this, but like, let's talk about the landscape and why this might be happening to you, or maybe you didn't know that this is what was happening to you. That feels useful to me as well.

• 43:43Speaker 05

  And I I love like showing respect to people in that way where like you said, you tell them what the experts are saying and kind of you're like, okay, you decide what you think you should do. Here's all the evidence. I mean, when it was time for COVID vaccines, like we, I learned a lot about the mRNA, you know, style of vaccine and stuff. And I made an educated decision. And I love that I was given and to me was a no brainer. But like it's, I jumped into the research and I love being offered information.

• 44:10Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 44:11Speaker 05

  It's empowering.

• 44:12Speaker 06

  And it goes to say like, You're listening to a podcast. We are not doctors and the doctors we have on are just specific doctors. Like you should never be taking that kind of advice just from a podcast, I would say, you know, like learn how to clean the grout in your tub. Sure. But like something like that, like get some different opinions. Talk to your own doctor.

• 44:35Marielle Segarra?

  It's a starting point.

• 44:36Speaker 06

  It's a starting point.

• 44:37Marielle Segarra?

  And a reminder to go in and talk to your doctor and get these tests done. But yeah, we can't give medical advice in that way. And we can't give financial advice in that way. We can't tell people, yeah, invest in these funds or whatever. No, we can generally explain to them what different kinds of investment funds, how they work and what it means, for instance, to diversify, like to what a stock is, what a stock investment is, what a bond is, how the risk is different for those, why you might want to have some investments in international stocks, not just US-based stocks. And then they can take those building blocks and, and either talk to a financial advisor or build a financial portfolio on their own.

• 45:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:20Speaker 06

  I love that. I think to end, I would love to know if you, either of you have an episode that you still want to do. Like, what's your dream episode that you haven't done yet? Like, I will say mine.

• 45:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:30Speaker 06

  We've been trying to do supplements for forever and we're gonna do it. But we either get doctors who say, when we try and book them as a guest, they say, no one should be taking supplements because they should get all their vitamins from Whole Foods. Or it's more like influencer people who are like, let me sell you my supplement.

• 45:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:47Speaker 06

  We really want someone in the middle. And my other one is my dream. I'm putting this out there in the universe.

• 45:51Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 45:52Speaker 06

  I really want the Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten, to come on and do baking with us.

• 45:57Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 45:58Speaker 06

  Like, am I baking wrong?

• 45:59Speaker 05

  I love all of her videos.

• 46:01Speaker 06

  I love, she's just the best.

• 46:03Speaker 05

  Person for that.

• 46:04Speaker 06

  So I know if you're listening.

• 46:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:05Speaker 06

  Get in here.

• 46:06Speaker 05

  Okay, I have mine. Do you have yours?

• 46:09Marielle Segarra?

  I have one, I think. Yeah.

• 46:10Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 46:11Marielle Segarra?

  Go for it. I thought a lot about drinking water quality.

• 46:14Speaker 06

  Oh, interesting.

• 46:15Marielle Segarra?

  Like how to get a good filter for your drinking water and how to know what's in your tap water. Because a lot of the time, people just say, oh, yeah, the tap water here is great.

• 46:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 46:28Speaker 05

  New York.

• 46:28Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah, New York. And they might say that in other places, too. Yeah, the tap water's fine. And you almost seem like. When you go to somebody's house and you ask like, do you have a filter? They, it can seem a little like you've got a tinfoil hat on, you know? But actually, there is a lot of stuff in our drinking water, even once it's filtered.

• 46:47Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 46:48Marielle Segarra?

  That you'd wanna filter out, that I wanna filter out. Um, and so, and I thought about that, like, after I got cancer as well. And, and a lot of the time, like, we just still don't understand the environmental causes of cancer, like of breast cancer specifically. We understand some of the lifestyle causes and the genetic causes, but there, there's a lot that's just sort of like, maybe something in the environment caused it. And so that makes you say, okay, well, where are some places where I can tighten up around that, you know? Not that I'm sure that this is what caused it, but that this is one opportunity to maybe be healthier.

• 47:29Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 47:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:29Speaker 06

  Do better.

• 47:30Marielle Segarra?

  Be exposed to fewer chemicals.

• 47:32Speaker 06

  Yep.

• 47:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, and water is such a big one.

• 47:34Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 47:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's, yeah, that's a really good one.

• 47:37Speaker 06

  What's your dream, Raj?

• 47:38Speaker 05

  So mine, I would love for us to do an episode on like, self-confidence or feeling beautiful.

• 47:43Speaker 06

  Hmm.

• 47:44Speaker 05

  Um, and I would want Rihanna to be our expert. Okay, so that's like, here's the thing, hear me out. Like, I think like, being sexy would be a really fun, like, subject because it's so broad. Like, what does that mean to you? Like, sometimes just to, to people, it's like, ha, being really smart and having read a lot of books in that, like, book smart. And sometimes it's like, looking and feeling good and dressing well. And like, I feel like Rihanna is very confident.

• 48:08Speaker 06

  She is.

• 48:09Speaker 05

  She's the queen of confidence.

• 48:10Speaker 06

  I don't know that she would give us great tips, though.

• 48:12Speaker 05

  I feel like there would be a lot of good one-liners that wouldn't make any sense to most people, but like, I love that.

• 48:18Marielle Segarra?

  You just wanna talk to Rihanna?

• 48:20Speaker 06

  That's it. Raj just wants to hang out with Rihanna, that's what it is.

• 48:24Marielle Segarra?

  I think you should get India Ari on.

• 48:26Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 48:27Speaker 05

  She's a really good one.

• 48:28Marielle Segarra?

  Her song video.

• 48:29Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 48:29Marielle Segarra?

  Song that's all about self-love and.

• 48:32Speaker 05

  I'll, I'll take, really, I'll take anyone who, who really has consistently shown us self-love.

• 48:38Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 48:38Speaker 05

  Not just like, performatively, but you can feel it in their energy.

• 48:41Marielle Segarra?

  Yeah.

• 48:42Speaker 05

  But I do want, it doesn't have to be either one of these people. I want an episode in like, how to really love on yourself all the time.

• 48:48Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 48:48Speaker 05

  All the time.

• 48:49Speaker 06

  All right, well, we're gonna make it happen, then.

• 48:50Speaker 05

  Oh, you call him Rihanna for me?

• 48:52Speaker 06

  Yeah, let me DM her really quick. Exactly.

• 48:57Speaker 06

  Hey, Ri Ri. Well, she's not busy making an album, so she can't. I mean, maybe she is, but.

• 49:03Speaker 05

  Hopefully. She's making babies.

• 49:05Speaker 06

  This has been so good. Thank you for coming in and chatting with us and sort of going behind the scenes.

• 49:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, this is really fun. It's nice to meet you both. Yeah, same.

• 49:19Speaker 06

  Okay, Raj, I'm not going to ask you if you've been giving advice wrong, because that's silly. But what did you think of today's episode?

• 49:27Speaker 05

  I thought it was really fun. I felt very supported. And it's cool to see the kind of behind the scenes stuff that happens. Because I think all three of us are really trying our best to be a vehicle for this advice.

• 49:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 49:40Speaker 05

  And we're not really giving it. We're just kind of like, here's the experts. And then kind of like chiming in, as far as what we know. I love that. I like to give our listeners just like a little more intel about that.

• 49:51Speaker 06

  That's the funny thing. When we, before we start recording and we meet the expert, we always say to them, the show is kind of like three friends hanging out. And two of us are dummies. And the third person is an expert, and they're lovingly schooling us. And so, yeah, I feel like you and I were the conduit for the advice, but we aren't really giving it, although sometimes we do. We've lived a lot of life.

• 50:15Speaker 05

  I know.

• 50:15Speaker 06

  And we have some things to say, too. But it was great to have another person who does this for a living and hear what their life is like. Working at NPR, it's different than what we do. And I just loved sort of going behind the scenes and taking a second to do that, so.

• 50:31Speaker 05

  Absolutely. And it's, it's nice to know that we see our listeners as like kind of family, too. And we're trying to do the best we can for them and for us.

• 50:39Speaker 06

  It feels a little corny.

• 50:40Speaker 05

  I know.

• 50:41Speaker 06

  But we really mean it.

• 50:41Speaker 05

  I am corny.

• 50:42Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 50:43Speaker 05

  So, you know, I'm very comfortable with that.

• 50:44Speaker 06

  Absolutely.

• 50:45Speaker 05

  She's cute, too, though.

• 50:46Speaker 06

  She's real cute. Anyway, until next time, as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do it better.

• 50:54Speaker 05

  I love y'all.

• 50:57Speaker 05

  Am I Doing It Wrong is a co-production between HuffPost and Acast.

• 51:00Speaker 06

  Our producers are Eve Bishop, Carmen Borca Correa, and Malia Agadello.

• 51:05Speaker 05

  Our executive producers are Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rutter.

• 51:08Speaker 06

  Special thanks to HuffPost's Head of Audience, Abby Williams.

• 51:11Speaker 05

  Head of Video, Will Took.

• 51:13Speaker 06

  As well as Kate Palmer, Marta Rodriguez, and Terry DeAngelo.

• 51:16Speaker 05

  And we're your hosts, Raj Punjabi-Johnson.

• 51:19Speaker 06

  And Noah Michelson.

• 51:25Speaker 04

  Stay tuned for the following announcements and messages from our sponsors. This episode's sponsor is HubSpot, which offers the following message: What if instead of updating your CRM, your CRM updated you? No catching up on manual edits, no more guesswork. HubSpot's self-updating CRM keeps your customer context current and helps you understand what to do next. So marketing builds more demand, sales wins more deals, and customers keep coming back. Learn more at hubspot.com. This message comes from Capella University. That spark you feel? That's your drive for more. Capella University's FlexPath learning format lets you earn your degree at your pace without putting life on pause. Learn more at capella.edu.