#179 - Bonnie McFarlane

Bonnie McFarlane returns to the pod to discuss growing up poor in rural Canada, the importance of having a prize-winning pig at the county fair, how she went from farm girl to vegan, her daughter finding her name in the Epstein files, social media journalists, the beauty and importance of live shows, the camaraderie of comments, and much more. Bonnie and Stav help callers including a woman who's concerned that her 10-year-old brother is becoming a mean, YouTube-addicted brat, and a woman who's wondering if she should return the laptop and iPhone that were gifted to her by the man she's been dating for two months. Follow Bonnie McFarlane on social media: https://www.instagram.com/bonniemcfarlane/ Thanks to our sponsors!! Aura Frames - https://auraframes.com/ use code STAVVY to get $25 off the Carver Mat Frame Visible - https://www.visible.com/ use code FRESH START to get a Visible plan for $20/month for one year ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Stavros Halkias?

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• 1:01Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stop This World. 904-800-STOP. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. On the couch, returning, is Bonnie McFarlane, beloved Fred, I think, yeah, right there. Beloved friend of the pod. You did like maybe the fourth. You did such an early episode, I'm realizing, like in Astoria. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you did-

• 1:23Speaker 02

  I didn't even saw a clip. I thought you didn't post it.

• 1:26Stavros Halkias?

  I think it was just, we didn't know what we were doing when we started. But don't worry, you're gonna-

• 1:30Speaker 02

  I did get a sandwich.

• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. No sin. Oh, fuck.

• 1:33Speaker 02

  And I said, no, eat before you go. You can't rely on that. But I fully expected.

• 1:38Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, I feel so bad now.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  I saw you with a coffee. I was like, and then you drank out of it.

• 1:42Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, you know, you know, and this is tough because this is just prejudice. I think being vegan is what killed you here. Because I considered just picking up some-

• 1:51Speaker 02

  You bought me a vegan sandwich last time.

• 1:53Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I'm a piece of shit.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  You were like so thoughtful.

• 1:55Stavros Halkias?

  I know, that's when we-

• 1:56Speaker 02

  And I was so hungry.

• 1:57Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis, don't fucking boo me, you piece of shit.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  No, the last time I did it, I was so hungry and you let me eat half of it before we started the podcast. I was like, this is a dream.

• 2:06Stavros Halkias?

  Are you hungry now, Eldis? Can you get on Uber Eats?

• 2:08Speaker 02

  I ate on the way here. I said, I've learned to not-

• 2:11Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, that breaks for her.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  I've been married a long time. You don't rely on others.

• 2:14Stavros Halkias?

  Of kindness, even from your friends who are asking you to do a favor because, because they have to bank a bunch of podcasts before, before shooting a special.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  But, you know, I don't know if this is because of who my husband is or just because I'm like, you know, old and, but when men are nice to me, I, I'm so appreciative. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I have a joke if I act about it, but a guy put my, my suitcase in the overhead.

• 2:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  And I like started weeping because they curled up in his lap.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  But it is true. I get so like, I, I become, because I just think like, the way men are, I don't, I don't have a, it's like, I always think like, if I had a lot of testosterone, I'd probably be acting the same way. Like you're basically just reacting to whatever chemicals are going on in your body. So I understand they're looking for something that I'm not.

• 3:11Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  So then when they do land on me and are nice, I, I.

• 3:15Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, what do you mean they're looking for something?

• 3:17Speaker 02

  What?

• 3:17Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean they're looking for something that you are not?

• 3:20Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 3:20Stavros Halkias?

  They can't be nice to someone?

• 3:22Speaker 02

  I don't know. I always just think like, my dad's an amazing human, by the way. I shouldn't have this thought.

• 3:27Stavros Halkias?

  Is it because like, I am, I am curious because everything about kind of your life says horrible father.

• 3:33Speaker 02

  No, I know. I know. I know.

• 3:36Stavros Halkias?

  A woman who gets into standup comedy and marries Rich Voss, no disrespect. It seems like, seems like her dad abandoned the family.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  I know. It looks like it, but I've thought a lot about it.

• 3:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  And it's actually the opposite. It's like, I don't have issues with men. My dad's a very nice, kind, funny, like masculine guy.

• 3:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  And so I don't, I just was like, I just.

• 4:00Stavros Halkias?

  You'd build up no immunities.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  I know this sounds crazy, but I just, I really like men based on how comedic they are.

• 4:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, of course, of course.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Ninety percent of the time. It's just like a, a matching of the minds.

• 4:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  When women are like, oh, he's hot. I, I don't even know what that is.

• 4:17Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  Like, you know, there's somebody who works at the stand all the time that women are constantly like, "Oh, my God, he's so hot."

• 4:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  And I do, I can, I physically see that if I was casting something where you need a hot guy, but it's not, there's nothing goes, bing, bing.

• 4:32Stavros Halkias?

  Really? So you were always, wow, that's fascinating. So you're basically the type of woman is the reason stand-up comedy exists.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, it's like, the fact that like, someone could impress girls like you, it's like, oh, nice, I guess this is an art form and I'm gonna dedicate my life to it. Literally the reason I did stand-up. Like, I mean, obviously I wanted to be funny, but it was like, so, even growing up, when you get it, the only way I got attention was just like, being fun.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 4:59Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, and you just continue that, but that is interesting. So you never, you, like, what was the fir-, did you, what was like, the first serious relationship you were in? What was that guy like? We're talking Canada.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  He was a bartender, yeah, Canadian, funny.

• 5:11Stavros Halkias?

  You also grew up like, in a barn, basically.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Yes, very.

• 5:16Stavros Halkias?

  It's kinda crazy. You guys should read Bonnie's memoir.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  You're better than me.

• 5:20Stavros Halkias?

  Because it is, because we, we had met before I read it, uh, but I didn't know, we weren't like, good friends, but at that point, anyway, but I was like, oh, let me just, I was also a comedy nerd. And I was like, what the fuck? You're like, you're like, you're literally living in a little house. I was like, is this a joke?

• 5:37Speaker 02

  It is, it is.

• 5:38Stavros Halkias?

  I honestly, for a second, was like, is this a bitch, some meta narrative? Because you grew up like, no, there's like, no electricity.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  No, listen to me. When people like, when people from other cultures.

• 5:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Are like, we were poor, I'm always like, eh.

• 5:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, truly, I feel like I can't say I was poor because of reading your book. And I grew up in Baltimore in the 90s, and I was like, I had it better than fucking Bonnie.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  We, we, it's a different kind of poor. We grew up poor, like, like, in the sticks.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  Growing our own food, that kind of poor, like 1800s poor.

• 6:15Stavros Halkias?

  No, you lived, you literally started your life, you're a time traveler, basically. You're literally a time traveler.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  I don't think it's amazing that people get, like, I'm not a hick.

• 6:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, not at all. I would have no, you would not expect.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  Very educated.

• 6:30Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. Interesting.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  No, my, it's really, I, I thought a lot about this, cause my parents, cause it's hard to get out of being poor.

• 6:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  Especially in that kind of thing where they're not like, they're farmers and my mom's a teacher, like they, it.

• 6:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what's gonna happen?

• 6:45Speaker 02

  Certain amount of money and that's that and you know.

• 6:47Stavros Halkias?

  You're not gonna randomly grow eight times. A piece of corn isn't gonna go viral.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:52Stavros Halkias?

  And lead your corn sales through the roof. Your mom's not gonna teach one dumb kid, you're not gonna make one dumb kid a genius and now she gets a million dollars. Yeah.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, we, we, we did pretty well at the, the county fair a couple of times.

• 7:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if you don't have a standout pig, you're fucked. If your pig, it's so crazy that your life was affected by your livestock's performance at the county fair. The McFarlands had a great year when a fucking donkey won.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Well, it is weird, cause, cause you go, that's how.

• 7:23Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, can we have real, can we have caramel? No, can we, can we have sugar, mom?

• 7:32Stavros Halkias?

  On Christmas, everyone just gets a spoonful of, of maple syrup. Oh man, it's not even my birthday, mom. Thanks.

• 7:41Speaker 02

  This is where, Kate, this is where your poorness is, is projecting. We had all the food we wanted. There was no short, I mean, it was all home.

• 7:51Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  Made. Even the ketchup was homemade. Everything was homemade, but it was like in abundance. We had a lot.

• 7:57Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that's cool. I like that.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  Yeah. The poorness was really just like, we, my mom made a lot of our clothes.

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right. It was, it was.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  We didn't have running water. That was the biggest thing. We didn't have running water.

• 8:09Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't even.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  For a long time. For a long time.

• 8:12Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, you have, you literally, you and Eldis, who was an Albanian refugee.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 8:17Stavros Halkias?

  Had this, had a very similar first year of life.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Because, because my parents were poor and they, their house burned down before I was born. Then they had to live in a trailer for a while while they were. And so it just took a long time to get it all.

• 8:31Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Going, and they wouldn't, they, my, my parents never had a credit card until probably the nineties.

• 8:36Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome. You gotta respect that too, because it is like, I do, I guess on some level that is, I mean, that's, is that their choice to live that way?

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Well, cause they're fr- they're, I don't know. It's so weird.

• 8:47Stavros Halkias?

  They're, they're both from, and what part of Canada are we talking about here?

• 8:50Speaker 02

  We're talking northern Alberta.

• 8:52Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Which is another thing that like. I mean, obviously, people move there before there's electricity, but who moves to the coldest climate? And goes, it's nine months of winter, we'll be alright, we'll make it, we'll make it. You got ten toes, you'll be fine.

• 9:08Stavros Halkias?

  I guess Irish, what the fuck, where'd they come from?

• 9:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, Irish.

• 9:11Stavros Halkias?

  Is this, is this straight potato famine shit, where they're like, we'll take you to the tundra?

• 9:15Speaker 02

  They did not care about being poor. They cared about having character, helping, you know, they were like those kind of people, like salt of the earth.

• 9:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's the kind of like media, you're like, you're like, the kind of media like fucking John Wayne was raised on. It describes your father, basically. Like, he was reading books about guys like your dad.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Like, cause my dad would, he was really good at like, you know, breaking horses and riding horses and stuff, and he would take us, sometimes we were little, and put us in front, his arms like this, so we wouldn't fall, and go round up cows, and it was the scariest thing. Cause the horse would be, sometimes like, you'd be like, it's parallel to the ground almost, it's like going at such a, going so fast.

• 10:01Stavros Halkias?

  Cause he's like trying to fucking corral the cows?

• 10:03Speaker 02

  He was just able to do it, you know? Like, who of men are like that now? Like, I married Rich Voss.

• 10:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:10Speaker 02

  Like, he fixes everything with electrical tape.

• 10:12Stavros Halkias?

  If you wanna haggle like over fake silver jewelry, I'm sure he could get, I'm sure he would go to a pawn shop and want a diamond horseshoe pinky ring, Rich could get you a great deal on it.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  I always think like, why? It is weird, I, I did, you know, and it's not like I was like, I guess I'll get married, Rich Voss, I was in.

• 10:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  I was like, right. I was like happy to be doing it.

• 10:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  I wasn't like, well, now or never.

• 10:43Stavros Halkias?

  The clock's ticking, I guess, you were head over heels.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  But I think it's cause he was so different from my family, cause also, there's no bragging, it's like modesty times a thousand in my family, okay? So, Rich told me on our first date that we ever went on, he goes, he goes, "I'm an amazing comedian."

• 11:04Stavros Halkias?

  So, so basically, you're just gullible. You're like, your family didn't raise you to like distrust men or double fact check people's statements? And you're like, oh, wow, I'm marrying the greatest comedian who's ever lived?

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Well, I will say this, he was really funny.

• 11:20Stavros Halkias?

  No, he's very, no, of course.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  I mean, at the time, I did marry the funniest person at that time.

• 11:24Stavros Halkias?

  Voss is hysterical.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  He's, literally, he'll say things that are, and also because you can say anything to him and it's not gonna, there's no being offended.

• 11:34Stavros Halkias?

  That is actually, in a real way, it's like, cause like, you know, Voss online is one of those where like, alright, I can't look at this.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 11:43Stavros Halkias?

  Cause this isn't the guy I'm friends with.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  I muted him!

• 11:45Stavros Halkias?

  This is insane.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  I don't, I had to mute him. He's not allowed to come and talk, like, there's certain words that, because I can't do it for that long.

• 11:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  Like, he'll tell me things that happened that against his people, okay? And then I really do try to get in a place of like, I understand where he's coming from and all that, but I can only do it for so long.

• 12:16Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Well, I will, let's say, much better comedian than geopolitical analyst. We will say that about Rich Voss, not even close.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  He's, I don't wanna talk to him, but I think he's addicted to his identity, so.

• 12:29Stavros Halkias?

  Beautiful.

• 12:30Speaker 02

  It's not really his fault.

• 12:31Stavros Halkias?

  I love it, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Bonnie, save it for actual therapy. Let's get back to, let's get back to.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  I don't believe in actual therapy.

• 12:38Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, now it's starting to make sense.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Well, this, this kind of craziness that Rich Voss has that I've, sometimes I wanna fix, okay? And then I go, no, that's, that's, he's built his whole life on this. This is what makes him funny and who he is, and so.

• 12:55Stavros Halkias?

  Also, no disrespect, it's, uh, the clocks, the deadlines taking on any, making any changes.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  Believe me, I've had, I've had some come to Jesus moments on that, too.

• 13:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is, that is so.

• 13:09Speaker 02

  Radical acceptance!

• 13:12Speaker 02

  Here we go.

• 13:13Stavros Halkias?

  It is really interesting to think about somebody growing up like, what we're talking about is like, the pure, it's like, you kind of are making, your existence is kind of an argument. This is like what right wing manosphere guys are saying where it's like, our beautiful farm girls are being tricked by drug using Jews in the big cities.

• 13:37Stavros Halkias?

  Crack addict Jews are stealing our Scotch Irish farm girls. They're like, keep them in the farm. But I guess it's like-

• 13:45Speaker 02

  But I do, but because I have that training, like, I, you know, my daughter's now in college, so-

• 13:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, which is crazy.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  I literally, I went from doing everything all the time to doing nothing.

• 13:58Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  I literally do nothing. I, we have like cleaners come in, I don't make anybody's dinner.

• 14:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  I just make mine.

• 14:05Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  And, um, Rich will sometimes get upset about it, you know, or whatever. But I always, when Rich is upset about the division of labor, I always go, um, cause he's, cause he's, he's basically getting upset by, he thinks that he's doing the same amount as me.

• 14:24Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  But really I was doing so much more.

• 14:26Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 14:27Speaker 02

  Do you know what I'm saying?

• 14:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, you were working three jobs.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 14:30Stavros Halkias?

  And then two are gone and now you have one job, he has one job, but it's like, hey, what the hell, you're working two less jobs, I'm working the same amount of jobs.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I understand that.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  But he thinks like, I always say like, what if it was like, cause if I make dinner, then I have to clean it up too.

• 14:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  I go, what if you-

• 14:49Stavros Halkias?

  I love that you're like, can I fix his fundamental problems? You can't even figure out dishes.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  I know.

• 14:55Stavros Halkias?

  Versus, he can't even figure out splitting dishes and cooking.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  No, but it is true. He'll, he'll argue as hard.

• 15:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:03Speaker 02

  About not doing dishes as he will in favor of Netanyahu.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  He's like, that's his real passion.

• 15:12Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, just the, that actually makes someone addicted to arguing.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:17Stavros Halkias?

  Genocide is like the most high, the most primo shit. It's like pure uncut rage and like you can really get in deep and I'm sure, I bet you were seeing a lot of that for a lot of people.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  That's what I think is happening for a lot of people. They already have the rage inside them and now they have something they can place it on.

• 15:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's kind of like the extension of like, road rage was like actual physical, everyone is so isolated and then when they finally interact, you see these violent outbursts because our society is so fucking atomized and you don't ever think of yourself in a community. And now it's like we, I guess there, it is kind of like all this fucking online trolling shit or just arguing is an extension of that. Everyone is even, it's even more than road rage. You don't even see the person in your car. You're just on your phone on your fucking computer, but it's the same thing where it's like, let's up the stakes.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:06Stavros Halkias?

  Let's go from a, like, let's go from like, you know, a fender bender to pulling a gun out on the highway. Now it's like, let's accuse these people of being rapists. And by the way, a lot of them actually are. That's kind of the, that's the hard part is when you're arguing with literal pedophile apologists.

• 16:24Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I don't know what to tell you, man. You're on the side of pure evil, but that's neither here nor there. Let's, do you ever get the desire to?

• 16:31Speaker 02

  We went through a lot.

• 16:32Stavros Halkias?

  Do you ever get the desire, do you ever get the desire to like make a apple pie all day like it's bad, like you're seven, you know?

• 16:39Speaker 02

  I do, I do some soups.

• 16:40Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, I mean, my family stopped speaking to me when I went vegan, but.

• 16:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, there's no way to even get, when did you even conceptualize vegetarianism? Because?

• 16:54Speaker 02

  Oh no, very early.

• 16:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh really?

• 16:56Speaker 02

  This is.

• 16:57Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you're on a farm and you're falling in love with the animals?

• 16:59Speaker 02

  I was in charge of every, I don't know, because I wanted my dad's approval, I guess.

• 17:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  I would always choose to kill the chickens. That would be, also I didn't like chickens.

• 17:11Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, me neither.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  So you have to cut the heads off chickens. So I would do that. And I remember like, sort of like, dealing with some internal conflicts.

• 17:21Stavros Halkias?

  And this is how old are you?

• 17:22Speaker 02

  I'm probably between eight and, and 15.

• 17:25Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome. A fucking eight year old getting a fucking machete down on a chicken's neck?

• 17:31Speaker 02

  It's so easy. You get a wire coat hanger and you straighten it and then you put like a hook on it like you're gonna get a car door open and then you go in and it'll grab one of the legs. Right? So you go in like that and it get the leg gets in and can't get out and then you just throw it down on the block and in your other hand, so you throw it down.

• 17:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  This little ax, boom.

• 17:56Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  And sometimes you miss and you just get half their head. Oh no, things get ugly and.

• 18:03Stavros Halkias?

  Chicken brains must be small as hell, huh?

• 18:05Speaker 02

  And, uh, yeah, they're, they're disgusting animals.

• 18:10Stavros Halkias?

  They're so gross.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  I can't even believe people eat them.

• 18:12Stavros Halkias?

  Well, they're pretty tasty, but yeah, they are gross.

• 18:14Speaker 02

  They're full of like lice and grossness.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, and they flap around and everything gets.

• 18:21Stavros Halkias?

  So but so, so but you, so then the first thing was discussed?

• 18:26Speaker 02

  Okay, so then one time I said.

• 18:26Stavros Halkias?

  So you were grossed out by the chicken? Is that why you didn't?

• 18:29Speaker 02

  No, that time I wasn't really grossed out. I just was like thinking about things and I remember at dinner, I don't even remember why I brought it up. I just said one time, and it was probably like 10 or 11, I said, uh, I go, isn't it weird that we haven't evolved? By the way, I'm eating meat at this time. I go, isn't it weird that we didn't evolve past eating meat?

• 18:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  And it was like I just told the whole family I was trans or something.

• 18:52Stavros Halkias?

  Evolution's not real.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Flip table.

• 18:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  It was like, this is our livelihood.

• 19:01Stavros Halkias?

  So that really meat eating, are you serious about them not, not, they cut you off when you didn't eat?

• 19:06Speaker 02

  No, no, no, they're, they're, they do a little.

• 19:09Stavros Halkias?

  But they were pissed at you?

• 19:12Stavros Halkias?

  You must have always been the weird one in the family, right? Does everybody else, is everybody else still on the farm? What are they doing?

• 19:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, they live in Canada. They're very like, uh, my sister works, uh, she's the head of a charity and my sister is on the school board or whatever. They're, they're, they're very successful.

• 19:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  And they still like, they plant garden, they're very, they're, they're always sending these pictures. It's so funny. They always send these pictures of like, they'll make like 80 jars of like tomato something or salsa and, you know, send the pictures of all the jars neatly done. You're like, that took days to do.

• 19:50Stavros Halkias?

  But they got salsa for the year.

• 19:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, but they do it all the time. Then the next weekend it'll be pickles, it'll be whatever and you know.

• 19:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there is something to just.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  I'm like, have you guys looked at my stories?

• 20:04Speaker 02

  I bought new shoes.

• 20:07Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't make them at all. I couldn't if something happens to them, I'm fucked. But I, sometimes I do think the happiest you are is when you're just kinda like filling your time up with existing and filling your time up with like just having, doing everything you're doing the best way you can and not worrying about what comes next and like, you know?

• 20:28Speaker 02

  That's what this consciousness podcast was talking about, that the best thing, because they're saying consciousness is outside of your body, or at least that's a working theory that they have. And so you've got a, your brain is actually just a, like,

• 20:46Speaker 02

  what do you call it? Like, like a radio thing, like it just-

• 20:49Stavros Halkias?

  An antenna?

• 20:50Speaker 02

  Yes, it just picks up, it picks up conscious, the thoughts and the consciousness.

• 20:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's fascinating.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  And so the best place-

• 20:56Stavros Halkias?

  From fucking where? Where the fuck is my consciousness?

• 20:59Speaker 02

  It's here, it's all over. It's all over. It's just that, it's cause like, have you ever done ayahuasca or anything?

• 21:04Stavros Halkias?

  No, I've done mushrooms, but nothing.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Well, they're saying like, basically you're somewhere, you have a very small hole, opening for consciousness. Because you're, you can't handle it. You can't handle all the consciousness.

• 21:19Stavros Halkias?

  I love, I love-

• 21:19Speaker 02

  You can't handle everything. You can only just see what you're-

• 21:22Stavros Halkias?

  Just a little bit.

• 21:23Speaker 02

  Just a little bit.

• 21:23Stavros Halkias?

  Instead of having, you're talking about being essentially an omniscient narrator for, in the entirety of existence. We would, our brains would explode if we had that ability.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  You couldn't get all the information.

• 21:33Stavros Halkias?

  So they give us one POV.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  But then when you take ayahuasca or mushrooms, it opens it a little bit more. So that's why there's more colors-

• 21:43Stavros Halkias?

  It's poppers for your brain.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Or you can see other entities or whatever, cause it's-

• 21:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  It's not one place and time. It's everything, it's everything.

• 21:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's everything that's ever happened.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 21:54Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. I don't think that is true at all. Or I don't really follow. It's fun to think about, but I just think, we just have something in our brain, you know?

• 22:04Speaker 02

  But don't you think when you're on stage, cause this is the only reason I'm interested is just cause I'm always like

• 22:09Stavros Halkias?

  For the craft.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  obsessed with stand-up, yeah. I mean, the only- There's them spirituals because it it mirrors stuff that you do on stage.

• 22:15Stavros Halkias?

  It's so fucking funny. And I mean, you talk about how you're attracted to like, people who are funny and like all you you're thinking about spirituality because of stand up. And I want to make fun of you, but I'm the exact same way. Where it's like, where it's like, I want to, but I'm like, I it is pathetic. Sometimes I think like how much and we're making fun of Rich for his being an identity. But it's like, my identity is comedian.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 22:39Stavros Halkias?

  Straight up, the more I think about it, the more I'm getting these, you know, it's like, what do I want to be? What do I want to do? And I'm like, I really just wanted, I just, I'll do other shit. You put me in more fucking Oscar movies, I'll be in more Oscar movies.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  With fun people.

• 22:53Stavros Halkias?

  But but what I love and what I think about is stand up. And it is very funny because I've had that same thought about like, not, I'm interested to hear your take about the like consciousness thing. But for me, it's more about, stand up has opened me up to energy. Like, because I do think sometimes, especially on this hour, which by now has been recorded and we're very happy with it.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  No tags, please.

• 23:17Stavros Halkias?

  It all went great, everything, no problems whatsoever. But.

• 23:23Speaker 02

  Next day, somebody goes, hey, I thought of a tag where that joke.

• 23:26Stavros Halkias?

  I'm so pissed, yeah.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  I will kill you.

• 23:27Stavros Halkias?

  It sucks because also something has happened to me now where I'm done. Like, we went on this bus run and, okay, in actuality, we'll be, we'll level with you, folks. This comes out right after the special, so it doesn't really matter.

• 23:40Stavros Halkias?

  I were about to do the special and I, I just went on a bus run. And the last day of the last bus run, I was like, I love the order, I love everything, like, this is great. Or maybe like there was three, the the second to last show, I was like, locked in, this is exactly how I want to do it. Maybe up, you know, obviously you play with wording here or there, but I'm like, it's locked in. And the second I locked it in and I was like, I'm committed to this. It was the most fun thing in the world and it became fun again.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 24:09Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm like, wait, I have to record this and never do it again after? Like, it's, it's, we've just, I'm just, now I'm in a place of fun with it. Where it's like, I know it works. And now it's like, let's explore, let's see. And I'm like, I know if I have even two more months, it would be better. But you can't, you'll drive yourself crazy constantly.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  Right.

• 24:27Stavros Halkias?

  You know, but yeah, anyway, so I really have gotten on to that, whereas I'm like, Because like, I, I, some of the, the hour's gotten so much better in the last two weeks, and it's not even about, it's really about how I say certain things, or my facial expressions, or how quickly, coming off the end of another joke, I get into, or the way I get into my setup.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  The setup's everything.

• 24:51Stavros Halkias?

  In between. And it's like, and it's just like, I'm like this, if I read these words, and this is me, it's not like we're, I'm giving somebody else do my act, just me by degrees this much,

• 25:02Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 25:02Stavros Halkias?

  has made the hour so much better, and I'm like, and that's a, that's a thousand people. It's not like I'm, like, kind of pushing one person's button. A collective crowd

• 25:12Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 25:12Stavros Halkias?

  has some kind of identity, which is bizarre, all that can be is energy, and I'm like, that, yeah, so anyway, that has got me.

• 25:19Speaker 02

  But it's because the energy of you going, "Ah!"

• 25:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:22Speaker 02

  "Got it." That projects

• 25:25Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  to them somehow.

• 25:26Stavros Halkias?

  And it just, it just has opened me up to like, being like, to thinking, many things that we don't, that we think are inconsequential, matter so, so much, and we have no idea about what actually matters.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  That's why I think like, don't, I mean, I have a joke about it in my act, but it's like, don't talk about your trauma so much, because that trauma leakage is what art is. You know what I mean? So just let it,

• 25:48Stavros Halkias?

  Let it out, yeah.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  I really try to let my subconscious, because you're subconscious, like, if you, you ever write a joke and you use the word cabbage for no fucking reason? Do you know what I mean? Or whatever, and it gets a huge laugh, and then later you think about it, and you go, "Why am I saying that? Let me put something in that actually makes sense in some way." And then it never gets the laugh. It's because your subconscious knows what it's doing at times, you know?

• 26:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  So...

• 26:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, subconscious is a whole other thing that I think, I really believe in that.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Well, this is what I think happens onstage when you're doing crowd work. Like, I'm as interested to find out what's gonna come out as anyone. Like, I don't know what's hap, I'm not sitting there thinking like, "I'm gonna talk to this person, I'm gonna ask him what his job is, he's gonna tell me construction, and then I have these three jokes that I'm gonna say about construction." I've no idea what's gonna happen, and I don't, I'm not scared of it, and I don't care if it works or not.

• 26:37Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  So then, it's like, easy to just go in there and just let this thing... Do its job.

• 26:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:44Speaker 02

  I know I sound like I'm so crazy.

• 26:45Stavros Halkias?

  No, I actually know what you mean on this where I think in particular, I, cause I'm the same way with crowd work. It's like sometimes shit just doesn't work, but that's not, I'm not looking to kill. I'm looking to have an interesting interaction with someone.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 26:57Stavros Halkias?

  And if you're, and there's something, there's something interesting from a performance standpoint for the audience, I think, or just again energetically where it's like, we are all, cause the fun of stand up usually is, or a joke is just you trick, it's basically a trick.

• 27:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 27:14Stavros Halkias?

  People think it's going one way, it goes another way.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  Yes, right.

• 27:16Stavros Halkias?

  We're all, we're all now eligible to be tricked or delighted or surprised, even me. It does become, even the performer, when I say me, it does become like a collective thing where now we're all waiting to see what happens.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:28Stavros Halkias?

  And that's kind of fun. And maybe that's, maybe that's a little bit of the secret to fucking why a bunch of my bullshit crowd work stuff was going viral, you know, two or three years ago. Cause it was, that was the energy for me was like, let's see what the fuck happens with this lunatic, you know?

• 27:42Speaker 02

  No, but online I do see a certain thing that works and it's like, now I'm gonna, am I too crazy?

• 27:51Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's all good. Go crazy.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  I could see like-

• 27:54Stavros Halkias?

  And I can tell they're sending me subliminal messages through their crowd work clips.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  I mean-

• 27:58Stavros Halkias?

  They're telling me to assassinate Benjamin Netanyahu.

• 28:04Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go with Rich to Israel.

• 28:06Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna, yeah, yeah.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  I'm what they call the honey pot or whatever.

• 28:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if you're gonna beat Israel at the honey pot game. They got, they got that boy Cash Patel in a fucking blender right now.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  God, I just don't understand what's happening.

• 28:20Stavros Halkias?

  He's fucking his Mossad issued girlfriend and they can't find him anywhere. Anyway, whatever. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month or get the premium Visible

• 29:05Stavros Halkias?

  Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOV. Terms apply. Oh baby, the fall, October, a chill in the air. The leaves are turning. Your body's all messed up, it's dark outside, fast. You're getting off, you gotta switch from summer to the fall? That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop cold water every morning before anything else. AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics. And you're not gonna believe this, superfoods.

• 29:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials and specifically formulated to support immune defense. So you could stay ahead of the season. I'm loving AG1, you know, I'm back in, I'm back at it with the health. Stavi gets ripped is coming back. AG1 is now, now they're a nice building block to me. Keep checking back, folks. Let's see how it's going, I'm feeling more energetic, I'm ready to go. And I will say, other little vitamin, I've tried a lot of stuff. The taste of AG1 is pretty delectable while you're getting healthy. Go to drinkag1.com/stavi and for a limited time, get a free immune support bundle. Including a bottle of omega 3 fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3K2.

• 30:32Stavros Halkias?

  With your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/stavi. Uh, what's the insane thing you were gonna say?

• 30:43Speaker 02

  No, I don't remember.

• 30:44Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's okay.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  I don't remember what we're talking about, but.

• 30:47Stavros Halkias?

  It's interesting though, because what you're talking about is you kinda have, it almost feels like, almost like benevolent. Um, rebellion, where it doesn't seem like you were, were you like a fuck you mom and dad kid when you left? Or were you just like, you know what, I wanna go to a city?

• 31:04Speaker 02

  No, yes, I was definitely like, I wasn't like fuck you mom and dad, but I did spend a lot of time, um. They were angry at me a lot.

• 31:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, of course. They didn't understand you, probably.

• 31:18Speaker 02

  I kept bringing up, like, why did you guys choose this? Like, I didn't understand. Like, I love my parents, I really do, and I always have. They're very, they're lovely, lovely people.

• 31:31Stavros Halkias?

  But they were born there, right?

• 31:32Speaker 02

  No, well, they, they were born into this kind of life, but they moved from Saskatchewan to Alberta.

• 31:38Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. Saskatchewan was like the happening metropolis?

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Well, people in Saskatchewan, yes.

• 31:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's the one that you wish you grew up in?

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking crazy.

• 31:46Speaker 02

  They, because Saskatchewan was like a farming, it was southern Saskatchewan, it was a little warmer and it was a farming community. We moved to like...

• 31:53Stavros Halkias?

  The Miami of Canada, Saskatchewan.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 31:58Stavros Halkias?

  It gets up to zero.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 32:00Stavros Halkias?

  It gets up to zero here. I'm in my short sleeves.

• 32:02Speaker 02

  Yes. I don't know, they like hard things. They're, I guess, they, they feel good about, like, we, and I wrote, I wrote about this in my book.

• 32:10Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, check it out.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  They, they would play, we'd play board games after a long day of work. And a lot of times, we had a lot of board games to choose from, but a lot of times whoever was in charge of choosing the board game would choose the game Farm.

• 32:25Speaker 02

  Okay?

• 32:27Stavros Halkias?

  So you're literally farming all day?

• 32:29Speaker 02

  And I would be like, what, guys, what are we doing?

• 32:34Speaker 02

  And they'd be like, do you want to sell your pigs or not?

• 32:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, roll, roll.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  And it's like, I just had this, I always think of like, I have like an irony detector or something. And then like, I would bring stuff up.

• 32:47Stavros Halkias?

  That is funny, yeah, yeah. To be like, you don't understand this is objectively funny.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  Right.

• 32:52Stavros Halkias?

  That we just milked cows for fucking 12 hours and now we're rolling a dice to see how many cows we milked, how many fake cows we milked.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 33:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but they were just, but again, I guess it's like, that is how most people lived for until now.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  I think they like to make their world small, then it feels safer.

• 33:12Stavros Halkias?

  Right, exactly.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  And you know those things and you're very like...

• 33:15Stavros Halkias?

  But also, it's safer, but it's also...

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Well, we're doing it with comedy.

• 33:17Stavros Halkias?

  I, I envy that, like, there is something to that where I'm like, wait, that is just how you should live.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:24Stavros Halkias?

  It really, because, because even the, the, and maybe it's a cop out for how much we see, where it's like, being aware of what every... What in the world is doing is so clearly bad for you.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:37Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, what is, and then you get into these existential questions of what is the purpose of existence?

• 33:42Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 33:42Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, is it just to have a fucking, to just raise, cause on some level you could say that exactly how your parents lived or chose to live, because it sounds like it was a a conscious decision to almost to go back, to kind of turn the clocks back and be like,

• 33:57Speaker 02

  To be.

• 33:58Stavros Halkias?

  We don't appreciate how society is going.

• 34:00Speaker 02

  But my dad would have, my dad was the primary engine for that. He wanted to live off the grid. He didn't want government taking his guns or, you know, like.

• 34:11Stavros Halkias?

  And you see, you understand that, cause you're just like, especially, you know, even as somebody who I think I would probably like to do a simpler version of a more communal style of living, like, I like, but, but I'd like to go back to something more, you know, kind of more simple, but it's like, you get what, you get where that's coming from, cause your dad, like you said, you report, but you had food. You did every, everything you needed to do, you could do without, you know, without.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  And you had to learn this lesson of like, well, you just had to like, there was no trying harder than you'd normally try, because the weather was just gonna be what the weather was. Do you know what I mean? So you just had to be like, well, if it doesn't freeze early, we'll be able to go on vacation. You know what I mean? Or whatever.

• 34:57Stavros Halkias?

  There's no ifs, there's just what is.

• 34:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 34:59Stavros Halkias?

  There is no working in theoreticals, there's just, we have to get these things done.

• 35:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 35:04Stavros Halkias?

  And I think that's a freeing thing. There is, there is the argument that we just have, having anxiety is fake.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 35:12Stavros Halkias?

  You know, cause it's like, we never should be in a position to think for longer than, you know, an hour. Because most of humanity.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  And that's why they get anxiety too, like, I, I, you know, I was thinking about the other day, like, you just never see anyone sitting around thinking.

• 35:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  You never see it. Like, and I was thinking, like, it's kind of funny, cause if you did see, you'd be like, wow, that's amazing. Look at that person just sitting there.

• 35:36Stavros Halkias?

  Philosopher.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Yes, but in the olden days, people would be like, get up and do something.

• 35:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. The way now watching a movie feels like being, like, oh, I'm off my phone.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 35:45Stavros Halkias?

  I watched a bigger screen.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  Like, you could just sit there and do nothing, and people are like, wow.

• 35:50Stavros Halkias?

  But that's true.

• 35:51Speaker 02

  Because people sit on planes now, and they raw dog it, and they're like...

• 35:54Stavros Halkias?

  The raw dog. I don't appreciate that. I love a plane because it feels like the one place you're allowed to turn your brain off.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  Yes, that's what I just scroll the whole time.

• 36:01Stavros Halkias?

  I scroll, play. I love getting stupid mini-games, like playing Plants vs. Zombies, or like, some kind of bullshit game.

• 36:09Speaker 02

  Water Sword.

• 36:10Stavros Halkias?

  Water Sword, okay, I'll check it out.

• 36:14Stavros Halkias?

  But, yeah, I don't know. Sometimes I do think, I think my fake idealized version of simple stuff is like, beachside.

• 36:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 36:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you know, Greek island, like, just fucking fishing, you know what I mean? But I know, what I'm imagining is basically a vacation. It's not, when you actually have to live that way, it sounds horrible.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  Right, okay, but my dad loved it. Like, his passion was getting up, being with animals, like, you know, tasting the dirt to see what the acidity was, or whatever the fuck he did.

• 36:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:53Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? He just, he really loved it. So it wasn't really work to him in that way.

• 36:58Stavros Halkias?

  It was just being.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Like, people will pay, you know, in my town, my friend sent her daughter to this thing where you pay to go work on a farm. I was like, I gotta tell my parents this.

• 37:13Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta tell them. Your parents will be like, are you fucking kidding me?

• 37:16Speaker 02

  But it's like, because we do actually crave that. It's like you said before, when you're just doing something sort of like with your hands, and your brain's going, like, even just walking your dog in the woods. It's like, it's so therapeutic.

• 37:31Stavros Halkias?

  But even my version of, like, I kind of, there was like a period of the pandemic that I liked, because you kind of had, once you could go outside again, and you could shop again,

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Right.

• 37:41Stavros Halkias?

  it became like... Fill up your days with meaning instead of going crazy.

• 37:46Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 37:46Stavros Halkias?

  And I, I, there was like a six month period where I lived like a housewife from the 40s. Where I went to, I went to the butcher, I went to the fresh produce market. I, I cleaned every, I woke up every morning, I cleaned. You know what I mean? And I planned out my stuff and I worked like, and I was just like, I, even though shopping for the day took me three hours. Because I went to fucking, I walked across the entire neighborhood. I could have gone to a supermarket, I could have ordered if we're being honest.

• 38:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 38:15Stavros Halkias?

  But it was like, I, that, that's as close as I'll ever get to farming is going to three different stores for fucking. Going to the farmer's, going to two different farmer's markets to me counts as farming, as working the earth. As opposed to just being like 40 chicken wings.

• 38:32Stavros Halkias?

  To me, those, that felt like me reconnecting. So I guess it's all relative. If you're a, if you're a city hick.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  Like something.

• 38:39Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. Whatever your version of it is, I think everybody wanna kinda, kinda wants to go to turn it back a little bit. I think we're at the first point in socia, in like, well, I don't know, this is, what's podcasting for than making completely insane claims you haven't even thought about for one second. You're just on a roll with your friend in your living room.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  I heard another podcast about this.

• 39:02Stavros Halkias?

  But I think we're at the first, and maybe this is not true because may, there were probably people who were scared of the future. But at least for me, and maybe this is just getting old, I don't know. It does feel like the future is scary. Or when people think of the future, kind of across the board, no one's that pumped. Like there's not like the, there's no optimism, there's no like, like when I was growing up, it was like, we're gonna have fucking flying cars and and computers that, and we can.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  We'll have a base on the moon.

• 39:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. And now it's like, and now it's like, oh, um, actually you never even have to have conscious thought. You could just ask, your, your phone will tell you you're handsome and a genius. And it will order your food for you and it'll take, it'll take that pesky problem of thought of, of, you wanna talk about consciousness? Now people are surrendering their consciousness to a shitty.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  The one thing they've thought.

• 39:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's not even working. It's not even working. It's like, it doesn't do anything. Anyway, so it's like, I do feel like there is a huge. Across the board, no matter who, what type of person you are. Cause I feel like I want to become a Luddite and I'm a, I've lived in a city my whole, I've lived in Baltimore and I moved to New York. And even when I could have left and gone anywhere like last year, I was like, no, fuck it. I'm staying here cause I love, cause I thought about any place I could, I wanted to live in America. Back home, Austin, LA, wherever the fuck. And I was like, no, it's expensive, but I fucking love it. I love being around this many people. But even me, somebody who objectively would die if the career, if the grid collapses. I'm not farming. I'm not doing anything. Even I want to be like, I need to go fucking be in the nature for like, we should go to nature.

• 40:40Stavros Halkias?

  We should, I should have to earn something. Like I should have to at least cook my meal. I should at least have to go buy it. You know what I mean? Even if I'm not fucking, you know, farming or whatever, but I don't know.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  I do think, I, I mean, this is crazy cause I'm a vegan, but I think like if, I think people should have to go kill their own food every once in a while.

• 40:58Stavros Halkias?

  I agree.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  I just think like you need that connection of what you're doing. Cause like the chicken wings thing, I think about this. It's like, people will order a fucking plate of chicken wings and eat four of them. And I'm like, that's 15 fucking chickens right there that you just killed for what? So you could just have the smell at your table.

• 41:15Stavros Halkias?

  How many, between me and Elders, there have been, there have been evenings where 80 chickens have died, perished. To feed our, to feed me and my friends. One night.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Thinking about it. And I'm not saying don't, I'm not telling anyone to eat meat or not eat meat. That's not my thing. I'm just saying like, just think about it once in a while. Like this is, this was a, let me think, like at least have appreciation. That that's giving your brain some juice that it needs to go out in the world and do some good or something.

• 41:42Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Yeah. Yeah.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 41:44Stavros Halkias?

  To do some good.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  I know.

• 41:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I, uh, it is an astounding number of, I think that's why, uh, I, I think, and you know what's funny though? I looked into this. I think even worse than that is chicken feet. Cause in Chi- China crushes chicken feet. And I think that's part of, I was reading something, again, this, we're just doing classic podcasting. It's like, I think I remember this. Where it's like, even part of why chicken wings are viable is because there's so much waste from chicken feet. That they kind of go hand in hand where it's like Chinese people love chicken feet, the way we fucking crush wings.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 42:23Stavros Halkias?

  And, and is it, what do we got there? Producer Elders, anything? God forbid you fucking know how to Google, you piece of shit.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  It is so weird when you're like, what is the most common food? It's chicken feet.

• 42:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just not them. Yeah, America is not driving that.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  I mean, they still eat dog meat in certain.

• 42:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  Countries.

• 42:45Stavros Halkias?

  It's fucking crazy.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  But I don't see, I don't see, like, people won't eat dog because they have, they have a dog in their house or in their life and they go, oh, that's.

• 42:55Stavros Halkias?

  Delicious, I would eat dog. I don't fucking care.

• 42:57Speaker 02

  Well, people who say that, they go, I can't stop eating meat. It's so good. I'm like, what if baby tasted that good? Would you eat it?

• 43:03Stavros Halkias?

  Probably.

• 43:04Speaker 02

  A lot of people apparently do.

• 43:05Stavros Halkias?

  Our society is run by people who would fuck babies. Is eat that much? Like truly, when you start fucking babies, is eat that much different? It's fu- I mean, and we are just ruled by them and there's nothing we can do about it. Like still, right now, they're just not releasing the full Epstein file.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  I think, I don't get why any of it got released at all. If the elites are in charge, why would they let it go to this level even? Because they're trying to, what the fuck are they covering up?

• 43:36Stavros Halkias?

  I think.

• 43:37Speaker 02

  That they're using like, we're all pedophiles as the distraction.

• 43:43Stavros Halkias?

  I know sometimes I'm like, because there's also, you'll just see online where it's like, another scientist has been killed. And again, I don't know if that's true or not.

• 43:49Speaker 02

  I know. I don't do any research.

• 43:51Stavros Halkias?

  I've done no research.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  These are all actors. I guess they are.

• 43:53Stavros Halkias?

  But how funny would it be if, yeah, if Trump was like a martyr who had to pretend to be a pedophile to save us from an alien invasion or something? Like what if they're, because they keep talking about people who've made connections to aliens keep getting killed. Like what if they are just hiding some crazy shit? But I just think, it's not that, if they could, if they could hide all of it, they would. I just think there is some still semblance of.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 44:17Stavros Halkias?

  Like there's this much journalism and this much investigation in this country.

• 44:20Speaker 02

  Savannah Guthrie can't tell us what happened to her mom.

• 44:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  I mean, I, I've been making a joke about her, but it's like, why is she allowed to still be a journalist?

• 44:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is true.

• 44:32Speaker 02

  I mean, that happens in your immediate family.

• 44:35Stavros Halkias?

  If you went to a chef's house and they made you a shitty peanut butter and jelly, you'd be like, "I'm not coming to your restaurant."

• 44:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, come on, man.

• 44:40Stavros Halkias?

  "Can't even figure this shit out."

• 44:41Speaker 02

  No, I think it's, I think, I don't think they do any journalisming anymore.

• 44:45Stavros Halkias?

  There's very little.

• 44:46Speaker 02

  And the minute that you get close to something, they shut you down. You go on Instagram, you go, "I could be unalived."

• 44:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  I, I think it's fascinating too, that they say unalived. They're not scared of telling secrets, but they're scared of the algorithm.

• 45:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the, the traffic.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  They can't not, "I'll get killed by the government," but if the algorithm doesn't...

• 45:05Stavros Halkias?

  But I can't get a dip in my fucking ad revenue. At the end of the day, I just, look, I'll die for this, but I'm not. I will not have a hit in my traffic.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 45:14Stavros Halkias?

  I sold a lot of ads this month. Yeah, that, I mean, I do really resent how they basically have tricked us all into just censoring ourselves. And that's another problem with putting all, depending on the internet. And I'm trying to figure out, I mean, that's why live performance is still the best. And I do, I want to do certain stuff that never goes online. I think I do want to do some stuff that's...

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Putting your phone in a bag and doing stand-up is the best.

• 45:41Stavros Halkias?

  The bag is nice.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  It's not even just to not be recorded. It's just now you know you can't look at your phone.

• 45:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:48Speaker 02

  Like now that's done.

• 45:48Stavros Halkias?

  There is definitely a different energy to those bagged shows.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:51Stavros Halkias?

  I will say, but, um, yeah, I don't know. It's, uh, it, it, uh, the like, I, the...

• 45:59Speaker 02

  And I love using the N-word.

• 46:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, when it's bagged up, Bonnie lets it fly.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  The minute I hear that there's bags, boom. There's some blackface happening.

• 46:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. To do your closer, to do your two, your, uh, Fox Nation bit, your Fox Nation, your stand-up special.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Gutfeld?

• 46:19Stavros Halkias?

  Gutfeld, uh, what, yeah, what, fucking Rob, uh, our boy, uh, The Animal. Rob, Rob Snyder.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  Rob Snyder.

• 46:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, they're putting some heat...

• 46:30Speaker 02

  He took a pretty big hit even from the right.

• 46:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:33Speaker 02

  They were like, "He's not, no, we don't think he's funny either."

• 46:37Stavros Halkias?

  Wow dude, that's tough.

• 46:39Speaker 02

  I know.

• 46:40Stavros Halkias?

  Watching Gutfeld is awesome because it's like, you're basically like, everyone here is just pretending this is funny. Everyone involved is like, we all know this sucks. But, because I met, I met my first ever true Gutfeld listener, and it made so much sense who these people are.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Okay, who are they?

• 46:59Stavros Halkias?

  So I was, so this, this Christmas, I went on like, I was like, I was, I'd had like a rea-, you know, I've been struggling with my health for my whole life, basically, like, and I had gotten, I was very stressed out. The fall was much more stressful than I thought it was gonna be. I wanted to lose a bunch of weight, I wanted to get way healthier this fall, and I just had too much shit going on. And so I was like, alright, for the holidays, I'm going to this like, health retreat, and I'm just gonna, you know, I'll see my family before, but the holidays always fuck me up. I always get too high, I eat like shit. So, Christmas through New Years, I'm going to like, this fancy, like, health retreat in Arizona, right? And it was nice.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  Sedona?

• 47:36Stavros Halkias?

  It was like, it was, no, I don't remember, it was like, in Tucson. But it was nice. Um, and it was exactly what I needed, and it was like, very meditative. You want to talk about no phone, I was going on these long walks.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  Was it silent?

• 47:47Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't, it wasn't silent, but it was like, I just put my phone away, I journa-, I was me-, I got into medita-, I had a great time. But, you think about who the other people at a, you know, holiday health retreat are.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:00Stavros Halkias?

  And it's mostly, because this was like, one of those, it's mostly old people, who lau-, like, kind of are retired and kind of live there now, right?

• 48:08Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 48:08Stavros Halkias?

  So you would get like, you'd get like, old people, and then like, their young relatives.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  It's cheaper than a, it's funny that it's like.

• 48:14Stavros Halkias?

  Well, they're just so rich.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  It's, I know, but you know, you're around like, all people, like, they take cruises for the rest of their life, because it's cheaper than being in an old folks' home.

• 48:20Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, this is basically a cruise, for them, a cruise on land, right? Where it's like, the, the things drive, and I had a great time. It was like, it was like, camp, but you could do whatever you wanted, whenever. It's like, as a little kid, when you're like, I'll go to the swimming pool, and then I'll get la-, I'll get a snack, and then I'll go, you know, whatever.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  And then, what, what was the food like?

• 48:40Stavros Halkias?

  It was fucking great. It was healthy and good. So that's kind of their whole thing, is like, it's a vacation, but you actually can be healthier.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  You love a chef that just did that for you.

• 48:47Stavros Halkias?

  It was, yeah.

• 48:48Speaker 02

  Like, like, like, making you Gwyneth Paltrow-style food every day.

• 48:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's, that is the, that truly is the like, I gotta get to that level.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 48:56Stavros Halkias?

  I gotta get to like, the fucking, I gotta have somebody just cook me healthy shit, but. And most of it was like old ass motherfuckers and like their family would come and visit. Or you would get the occasional like old guy and an obvious sugar baby like, you know what I mean?

• 49:12Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 49:13Stavros Halkias?

  You get some of that, but that was, I was, or you would get, the only other single people were like newly divorced. Like, you know, uh, women who, like girl bosses.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  Oh, right.

• 49:22Stavros Halkias?

  Who were trying to get their life back together, who were trying to lean in and have it all and it went bad. And now they're trying to put the pieces together.

• 49:29Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 49:29Stavros Halkias?

  But anyway, good for them, met some great people, whatever. And there was one old guy who was so fucking annoying and he wouldn't shut the fuck up. And, uh, he's like, uh, and he's like, oh, you look like, he told some black guy that he looks like Titus.

• 49:44Speaker 02

  Oh god.

• 49:45Stavros Halkias?

  And I was like, who, and he was like, yeah, Titus from the Gutfeld program. And then he starts talking about how much he loves Gutfeld.

• 49:50Speaker 02

  I didn't even know who the Titus was. I just knew he was racist.

• 49:52Stavros Halkias?

  Professional wrestler, I think, or whatever. Yeah. Some fucking guy on there. I don't, I don't, I think he's a Fox News personality. Anyway, this guy, over the course of this discussion, made it very clear he was a really big Gutfeld fan. But also he had.

• 50:04Speaker 02

  That is kind of an odd pairing.

• 50:06Stavros Halkias?

  He's an 80 year old, like super, and then I'm like, who the fu, and he was so annoying and fuck, you know? And like insulting people, telling me, you know, telling me to get a haircut and lose some weight. He, I, I barely know this guy. I, I'm literally in a waiting room with this guy. And he's like sexually harassing the wait, the nurses. He's fucking telling me, you know, telling me I'm too, literally making a comment on everyone, talking about how, you know? What a good time he had serving in the Navy and it's like, you know, 60 years ago. And then, and I'm like, this guy's fucking annoying. And then he starts talking about, you know, he's talking to the one nurse who's like humoring him. And he's like, you know, you know why we're here, you know, we, we begged our children to come visit us for Christmas, but

• 50:48Stavros Halkias?

  another Christmas they wouldn't come. Then we said, well, why don't we take you guys on vaca, we'll pay for a vacation, we'll do whatever. And then he was like, and then he was like, well, so nobody wanted to spend time with us, so we just figured we'd spend Christmas here. And it was like, so. Gutfeld fans, what Gutfeld is, is basically just like daycare programming.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 51:12Stavros Halkias?

  For the abandoned elder, for the elderly that are so conservative, they've turned off their entire family and it's like, all they have is, and it's just what-

• 51:20Speaker 02

  They got this family now.

• 51:21Stavros Halkias?

  It's just noise. That guy doesn't have a sense of humor.

• 51:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 51:25Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, that whole show is like, let's pretend, let's do all the signifiers of late night TV and let's say highest watch show, but it's like, the people watching it are sundowning. There's not a single person who watches it and they're, and they only go to be like, we went to fu- they go to own the libs. It's all like, everything is participatory. There's no doing culture because you enjoy it. It used to be, even fucking conservative people would watch a gay show or something. Or they'd watch like-

• 51:53Speaker 02

  No, no, it's become so politicized.

• 51:55Stavros Halkias?

  They'd love Liberace or whatever. You know what I mean? It's like, wow, you know, it doesn't matter. This shit's fucking boring. Uh, nobody really gives a fuck about us talking about-

• 52:03Speaker 02

  I know. It's like, I'm the least informed person on the planet, by the way. I feel like, I flex when people, like when I don't know stuff, I feel like. I don't know what-

• 52:13Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know that.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  I don't know about that. I haven't been on my phone, okay?

• 52:16Stavros Halkias?

  I don't care at all, actually.

• 52:17Speaker 02

  I've been reading books.

• 52:19Stavros Halkias?

  I just think it's baseline bad when we're, uh, clearly doing, where we clearly don't even, where we barely adhere to the constitution, which I don't even give a fuck about. That's the other thing. You're making me care about the fucking constitution.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  I know. Don't make me bring up stupid shit.

• 52:35Stavros Halkias?

  I don't fucking care. But it's like, anyway, and it was, actually, I'm gonna stop.

• 52:39Speaker 02

  But why don't we just do what we want? Like, why don't we just do what we want?

• 52:43Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean by that?

• 52:44Speaker 02

  Like, why doesn't everyone just do what they want? I don't get like-

• 52:46Stavros Halkias?

  You mean anarchy?

• 52:47Speaker 02

  Yes. Like, I'm amazed, even in driving, that people, I would say, almost everyone is, there's a couple fucking assholes that drive on the shoulder, but look at how many people, even assholes, even jerks, they're, they're not driving on the sidewalk.

• 53:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, I just think, I, I, there is, I think-

• 53:05Speaker 02

  You're just doing what society tells you to do all the time. Why? If we all just started driving where we wanted, they wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I'm not saying it's a good, I'm not saying it's a good system, but I'm just saying like, it's so weird, we're, we're-

• 53:19Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I think-

• 53:19Speaker 02

  We're in a thing where we could just do whatever we want, but we-

• 53:23Stavros Halkias?

  But that's, I think, a po- yeah, I mean, that's a positive. It's like, you could go in- To a grocery store and just fucking, you know what I mean? Like go in there and be like, fuck you.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  Well, I do.

• 53:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  I know, I only, I only have empty bags when I leave.

• 53:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I like a little snack from the hot bar. But there, there's something nice about that where it's like, I do think humans have the ability to

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Right, you know what?

• 53:43Stavros Halkias?

  Actually be communal.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 53:44Stavros Halkias?

  And that would, that's truly the actual solution is like, just, like, everyone is just so, we've been isolated by, you know, the, like, nobody wants you to be in a actual livable community. There's no public transit, there's no actual cities in America, there's no communal spaces. American culture for, basically tells you, you gotta leave your family the second you turn 18.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 54:07Stavros Halkias?

  It's a cult, it's a culture that over the last 30 years has been completely atomized and made us all feel like, you know, single people who's, you'd have no empathy for somebody that's different than you.

• 54:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 54:18Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, but when you put people together.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 54:20Stavros Halkias?

  It works.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 54:21Stavros Halkias?

  People like being around each other, people like, you know, communal, caring about their, their neighbors.

• 54:27Speaker 02

  I think stand up is so important, I know this sounds absolutely bad shit, but because people don't go to movies really anymore, it's like, movies are being made for very specific audiences.

• 54:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, true, true, that's good.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  But stand up, a lot of times, like, if you're just, like, if you're performing in the stand, you're the first thing that hasn't, that they haven't attracted.

• 54:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean?

• 54:46Stavros Halkias?

  That is true, yeah, yeah.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  Like, your ideas are, it's like a chance to hear something they don't normally hear.

• 54:52Stavros Halkias?

  And it's in person and it's completely.

• 54:54Speaker 02

  And it's with other people who are laughing and responding and they're like, I just think it's not, it used to happen a lot more often, where people would get together and exchange ideas and laugh, and now it's very segregated in a way.

• 55:06Stavros Halkias?

  I know, and it even just like, yeah, that, that is true, we've backed into kind of being, even making comedy movies again, it's like, I, I think that's a fun collective experience, where it's like going into a fucking

• 55:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 55:17Stavros Halkias?

  theater and like, and like laughing with other people.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  There's, there's something that, like, even when, um, if I look at a comment, like, uh, you know, I was watching this cooking thing and this girl, she went to put oil in and she had a bowl of oil and she put it in, and, and then I just was like, it's gotta be bowl of oil comments, and they're all bowl of oil comments, and it made me feel good, it's like, oh, humanity, we're all together on this, do you know what I mean?

• 55:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all notice the bowl of oil.

• 55:44Speaker 02

  We all notice the bowl of oil, and. I was like, I felt connected, you know?

• 55:49Stavros Halkias?

  I feel no connection on with comments or like that to me doesn't feel like being with people.

• 55:54Speaker 02

  Sometimes I read a comment that's so funny and I just go, wow, like there's just like funny people out there.

• 56:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but it just, I would rather have that interaction, you know what I mean? And that's why also, and maybe that's why streaming is now so big is because it's the only way to make it feel like there's actual people there.

• 56:10Speaker 02

  Right.

• 56:10Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's the same stuff, it's still a screen, but there's the immediacy of you know that person is physically chatting with you. I think that's probably why that shit's taking off now because it combines the immediacy of the medium. Or like it, it kind of makes up for how impersonal the medium is by knowing everyone's there at the same time. But look, we can, we can have media theory all we want. What we really need to do is solve the problems of our callers, Bonnie.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry. I forgot about that part.

• 56:37Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, it's okay. Elders, let's fucking, let's take some calls here, buddy.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 56:40Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, you know, don't apologize.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  Hi, I'm Gabby Wendy with Long Winded and I'm not gonna lie, I'm desperate. I'm desperate for your attention in any way possible, so listen to my podcast, won't ya? It has great insights, exceptional humor and plenty of pop culture to fill your dark souls. And some even say it's a great way to fall asleep due to my soothing voice. And I don't take that personally, fall asleep. A listen is a listen, even when you're sleeping and a view is a view, even with your eyes closed. If you dare, and it doesn't take much gumption, enjoy. Listen to Long Winded wherever you get your podcasts.

• 57:23Speaker 01

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• 57:54Speaker 04

  Hi Stavi, um, I'm calling in for advice about my boyfriend.

• 58:00Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, okay.

• 58:02Speaker 02

  Are these live calls?

• 58:02Speaker 04

  We've been together, well, we were hooking up and we were hanging out like a long time before we were together.

• 58:08Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 58:08Speaker 04

  We worked together at a restaurant and that's how we met and...

• 58:12Stavros Halkias?

  So far, two humongous strikes so far.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  Yes, right.

• 58:16Stavros Halkias?

  For relationships working is the on again, on again, off again hookup into, and then like you worked at a restaurant where everybody just sucks and fucks each other, but...

• 58:24Speaker 02

  I know.

• 58:25Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, go ahead, we'll, we'll hear you out.

• 58:27Speaker 04

  We were hooking up and hanging out for like almost a year before we've made it official. But we decided to be in a committed, long-term relationship since about October, um...

• 58:41Speaker 02

  November, December, January, February.

• 58:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, so we've known each other for a long time. Things are good. Um, this is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.

• 58:50Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  Oh, boy. She's got some problems.

• 58:51Speaker 04

  I feel like we're doing really well, but I do have a couple of concerns. One is that he has, I haven't met any of his family yet. I still live with my parents, so it's different, like, he knows my family.

• 59:06Stavros Halkias?

  They're, they gotta be early twenties, right? She doesn't say, but it feels like it.

• 59:10Speaker 04

  He's here all the time. He just moved back in with his family recently, like very...

• 59:15Stavros Halkias?

  They're either in their early twenties or just the saddest call we've ever gotten.

• 59:18Speaker 02

  This is like, we, we, we were living in a basement suite and then...

• 59:25Stavros Halkias?

  All right, what else, what else you got?

• 59:27Speaker 04

  And I still haven't met them. We've talked about it and I've like voiced to him that I'm upset about it and...

• 59:33Stavros Halkias?

  Again.

• 59:34Speaker 02

  I know, it's Canadian, right?

• 59:35Stavros Halkias?

  Must be.

• 59:36Speaker 04

  But he hasn't made any moves to do so and I'm starting to get concerned. I'm trying to give him a grace period of moving into his parents and I hope that by the time he's fully moved in and I'll be able to go over there. But I just don't understand why he's so weird about it.

• 59:54Speaker 02

  Why are you so weird about it?

• 59:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 59:56Speaker 02

  Why do you want to meet the parents so bad?

• 59:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great point.

• 59:58Speaker 04

  Especially with the fact that he hasn't said, "I love you" yet. I said, "I love you" one time when we were fighting and...

• 1:00:06Stavros Halkias?

  You were fighting?

• 1:00:08Speaker 04

  I think he said that he wanted to say it back or...

• 1:00:12Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, brother.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  Something like that.

• 1:00:14Stavros Halkias?

  These are just 22 year olds.

• 1:00:15Speaker 02

  This is so fascinating.

• 1:00:16Stavros Halkias?

  This is just being 22. This is so fucking funny.

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  But it is wild to not like, if, I, I don't understand where you don't talk, like, she's like, I want to meet his parents, he hasn't brought it up. Why wouldn't you just be like, hey, I'm coming with you, I'm gonna go to your house?

• 1:00:33Stavros Halkias?

  Because she's a child.

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  And then if she, and then if he goes, no, then you have a fight about it, then you break up. I mean, that's.

• 1:00:38Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. But that's, you're talking about, again, this is just your plain farm, farm style communication upbringing. You know, there's no conceit, there's no anything, there's no stewing, there's no, there's no big city east coast is stewing instead of talking about it.

• 1:00:56Speaker 02

  Does he laugh at your jokes?

• 1:00:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, I, does she have any more?

• 1:01:02Speaker 05

  She has a little bit, she just says, she doesn't want to keep bringing it up and feel like a nag.

• 1:01:06Stavros Halkias?

  So, not really.

• 1:01:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:08Stavros Halkias?

  This is just being a little ass kid, basically. This is just being early twenties.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:01:12Stavros Halkias?

  So for me, I will say, if I, and again, we're assuming they're in their early twenties, maybe they're in their mid twenties, who knows? Maybe.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  This would be a completely different conversation if they were in their forties.

• 1:01:21Stavros Halkias?

  If they're, yeah. Even, starting at 30, this is a crazy conversation.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 1:01:27Stavros Halkias?

  But in your twenties, at some point, at some level of being immature and poor, whatever the fuck, I get it, right? I will say, if I were a guy who was on again, off again, hooking up with someone for a year, and then like.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  You're a bartender.

• 1:01:43Stavros Halkias?

  I think, I think for her, I think you need to realize, the way you view this relationship is a lot different than how he views it. Is my hunch, is my hunch, right?

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 1:01:53Stavros Halkias?

  To me, I think she.

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  Like, they were hooking up, he doesn't see that much difference between that and this.

• 1:01:58Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I don't think, while they were hooking up, the clock didn't start running it for him.

• 1:02:02Speaker 02

  No, right.

• 1:02:03Stavros Halkias?

  She thinks they've been dating almost two years, he's like, what's it been, two and a half months? Like, to his mind, he's like, well, we fucked you a couple times, but we've been dating like a month, really?

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  We never said I love you, she's like, I did, in a fight, and he's like, oh.

• 1:02:17Stavros Halkias?

  So that's my hunch, and maybe I'm projecting here off of my, you know, my personal beliefs when I was a dumb ass in my twenties.

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:02:24Stavros Halkias?

  Um, that's a very real possibility, so for you, you're like, I've been dating this person almost two ye, like, you're rounding up, you're like, I've been dating him two years, he's met my family.

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:02:35Stavros Halkias?

  He hasn't even said, "I love you," or want me to meet the parents. To me, meeting family is one of the fakest milestones in the world.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  Why do you do it? You're not gonna get married to the guy.

• 1:02:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:48Speaker 02

  He's a bartender who lives with his dad.

• 1:02:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, that's the... In my hunch, is that that is the absolute disconnect here.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:02:59Stavros Halkias?

  Is that she's looking at it like... And maybe, you know, she's a good person. She's like, "I date with like, I want to see things through." I think, and look, I'm not even saying he might not be on your level at some point. I'm just saying, my hunch is, he thinks this is way less serious at this point.

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:16Stavros Halkias?

  Than you'd think it is.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:03:18Stavros Halkias?

  And that's not saying he might not eventually get to that point.

• 1:03:20Speaker 02

  But why does she think it's serious? Like, it's like, you just enjoy... Like, this is the thing, I think, with women a lot, or I don't know, maybe with men too, but I just talk to women more about it.

• 1:03:31Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:03:31Speaker 02

  Is that, that they're... It's a means to an end, always.

• 1:03:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  It's not like, "I don't know, it seems fun." You know, which is like, isn't that what dating is? Like, you just go into it. You go, "I don't know." It's like, starting crowd work. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't. I don't know, let's see what happens here. And then, you know, like, but I never dated during profile times. So, I don't know if...

• 1:03:57Stavros Halkias?

  But were you dating, sorry to cut you off?

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  Pretty much predominantly comedians are in my immediate... Like, you'd meet someone, you'd laugh, you'd have fun, you'd go, "Fuck him." Then you'd go on a date, and then you'd go, "Ah, we'll just be friends." And then you'd go fuck someone else.

• 1:04:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I agree with you, but I also think that's a different philosophy. Like, were you ever dating, thinking about getting married?

• 1:04:17Speaker 02

  Never.

• 1:04:18Stavros Halkias?

  Me neither, right?

• 1:04:19Speaker 02

  The only, Rich was the only one where I was like, "I think this guy might actually propose." And then he did, when I thought he was going to.

• 1:04:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:04:26Speaker 02

  And then it was like, "Yeah."

• 1:04:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're like...

• 1:04:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:04:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  It's gonna be fun.

• 1:04:34Stavros Halkias?

  What's the proposal like?

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  He, um, we were in a hotel room by the airport, because we were taking a flight the next day. And, yes, it was not thought out. And he was getting so...

• 1:04:49Stavros Halkias?

  You're at the Newark Sheridan?

• 1:04:50Speaker 02

  I think, because I think we were flying to Florida, and I think he was gonna do it in Florida, but I think his anxiety was getting the better of him. We were still in New Jersey, we were at a hotel. I don't know why we were at a hotel by the Newark Airport. At, yes, at an airport hotel. And then he just goes, here. And he had a ring box.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  And then he laid down on the couch. He was like fully having a panic attack. And he goes, you don't have to say yes if you don't want to. And I had to, I had to open up my own ring. Calm him down.

• 1:05:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  Tell him it was gonna be okay. We were gonna do it.

• 1:05:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking hilarious.

• 1:05:29Speaker 02

  He goes, you wanna call people? I go, no, let's wait a bit.

• 1:05:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's my grace period on taking this back?

• 1:05:39Stavros Halkias?

  Let me get to St. Pete's first and, you know, let me think about it on the ocean.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  But I sort of had a suspicion. So I already, I'd already, I already knew what I was gonna do.

• 1:05:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  No, I really, I really liked him. It is weird now, thinking back 20 years. I really liked him back then.

• 1:05:54Stavros Halkias?

  That is what, that's what love is, though. It's like, I do think that's what you want, is something you can't really explain.

• 1:06:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:06:01Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like, this is just how I feel. There's something magical and nice about that.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Rich would never, if, if it had, if it had been a dating app, I would have never dated him because he was too old and he had kids. And it would just wouldn't have, but just because I met him organically and we bonded in some way and just were funny together. We just were immediately.

• 1:06:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's great. I mean, I totally know what you mean. Some, sometimes I think back and I'm like, some of the women that I end up dating the longest is like, people who bring something out of me that make me feel comfortable.

• 1:06:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:33Stavros Halkias?

  I feel funnier around them.

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:06:35Stavros Halkias?

  And it's not the kind of thing where I need to feel the funniest. I've dated people who I don't particularly click, but it's just like, there's just, that's a good marker for other types of joy, especially when you're a person who loves laughing, whatever.

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  Like, I mean, I guess I've always had this weird thing, cause especially being a woman who, now I believe I have some kind of neurodivergence. I don't know, but the, I just have always a kind of weird.

• 1:07:03Stavros Halkias?

  Plenty of mental illness.

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  And I know, I, I'm sick in some way. I know that.

• 1:07:07Stavros Halkias?

  Too specific about neurodivergence, but.

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  But I just, um, I can't, now I can't remember. What we were talking about, but.

• 1:07:14Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really trying to prove your point.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  I don't know what I'm talking about. Wait. Oh, I, I just wouldn't have, is it what I'm saying? Wouldn't have dated Rich?

• 1:07:23Stavros Halkias?

  I think that makes sense. So it's like.

• 1:07:25Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I was, I know. I was gonna say, I'm so sorry. But I was gonna say, like, it's, there's some kind of safety that gets, like, when, when you're with somebody who, the chemistry thing. I think that's actually just, you feel like, okay, this person, I'm not gonna offend this person. Where that's what I would always happen to me in regular relationships on regular dates. Where I just, I chose funny over.

• 1:07:49Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  That making them feel comfortable or, do you know what I mean?

• 1:07:53Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course. I remember, wait, this was the famously, the era of your life where you said cunt on NBC, right?

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes. And then was completely shocked that people were upset about it. Completely. It's so weird.

• 1:08:06Stavros Halkias?

  I watched that. That's so, like, it's funny to think that I was a fucking, I don't mean to, I, I feel bad every time telling people I saw things when I was a child. When I, again, I look like this, but I was a child watching that show on my, in my basement, in my kitchen basement. I remember exactly where I was.

• 1:08:23Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 1:08:24Stavros Halkias?

  When it cut to, you, there, I was like, and I didn't know, I was like, I didn't really know.

• 1:08:28Speaker 02

  They bleeped it.

• 1:08:29Stavros Halkias?

  They bleeped it so no one could tell what you said. But anyway, that makes, that does make sense to me on some level. And I think what's going on here is this girl is just, she has this connection to this guy. She feels comfortable. She feels like she wants it to be probably a little more serious than he does. And she's freaking out about these markers, societal, societal checkoff marks. Where it's like, listen, if you, if this guy doesn't like you, and he, and you get lunch with his mom, it's not changing the relationship.

• 1:08:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:08:57Stavros Halkias?

  If he likes you and, like, if he likes you and he drags his feet, that's his own stuff. Liking you is the problem.

• 1:09:04Speaker 02

  If you work really hard at it, you're gonna get him ready for the next girl. That's, that's the best you can hope for. That's the best you can hope for in this situation. And so you're, like, it's the societal markers that you're saying, there's, they weigh so heavy on women. For what reason at this point in time?

• 1:09:20Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 1:09:21Speaker 02

  In 2026, they're still like. They're obsessed with having like the bridal shower and the, you know, like.

• 1:09:28Stavros Halkias?

  The traditional markers, even if you're not a traditional person, on some level you want, you know, yeah.

• 1:09:34Speaker 02

  You think you deserve these things or that you, it's just like when you have a kid and you know, they, I remember like when Raina was little and she was supposed to be able to throw a ball like.

• 1:09:44Stavros Halkias?

  Right, the developmental markers.

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  Like send the ball back and she couldn't and I was doing it over and over.

• 1:09:52Speaker 02

  And then I was like, wait, they all, every kid in kindergarten can throw a ball back. Like it doesn't matter. Do you know what I mean? If at six months she can do it or not.

• 1:10:02Stavros Halkias?

  Six months you'll be able to do, yeah. It's like sometime, like you meet people who were non-verbal until they were like three. And their parents were probably freaking the fuck out and they're just like, now they're just regular people. Maybe they're fucking stupid, but now they're just regular people. So yeah. If you worry about this stuff, you will just fuck up whatever you have going on.

• 1:10:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, appreciate the moment.

• 1:10:22Stavros Halkias?

  Appreciate the moments and listen, if it comes up and you're having a good time and he's talked about being around his family, you could say, feel free to be like, hey, you know, I'd really love to meet your family. Like maybe we get lunch or something. See how he reacts?

• 1:10:33Speaker 02

  And maybe they're weird and he's embarrassed of them.

• 1:10:35Stavros Halkias?

  That's, that's a great point. Actually, that's a hu, that's a really good point. I think that happens a lot. Um, but.

• 1:10:42Speaker 02

  Or he's told a few fibs that he doesn't want them to.

• 1:10:45Stavros Halkias?

  Look, either way, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, I don't, do we think this is, this is like necessarily the, the end all be all relationship for you? No, not, sorry. We're here, we're wiser, we're older and wiser than you. We've seen how life works. Probably the guy you met working at Tim Hortons is not who's gonna be your fucking, although I actually did meet a guy who met his wife literally working at a Tim Hortons and it's the cutest story of all time. The first, they dated in high school and they're like high school sweethearts, have a beautiful family. It's actually, so it does happen, so maybe it will happen. But you getting ahead of yourself and being like, why haven't I met his family? No, that shit doesn't matter.

• 1:11:25Speaker 02

  The minute you start thinking that, it's like over.

• 1:11:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And I am a little worried because it does feel like you, you are putting weird pressures. On what even to us sounds like a more casual relationship than you think it is. Even, listen, even let's-

• 1:11:39Speaker 02

  Which is not bad. You can have a casual relationship. I mean, you're trying, why are women having, why are they being forced into these serious relationships? So guys can have casual relationships. Like, you're allowed to just have fun, do what you want.

• 1:11:49Stavros Halkias?

  But look, I think they seem like they're committed, but it's just still like, just because you're committed doesn't mean you're automatically, that's, I think, a weird, that's, some people think, well, once we're in a committed relationship, we're basically married.

• 1:12:00Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:12:00Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, no, you're still in your twenties and dating. It's still not serious. It's just, you can be monogamous and not be serious. I think people don't understand that that can be, you can be dating someone and not be sleeping with anybody else, but it's not that serious a relationship. That is possible. Because so many people are open and do crazy shit, people think just locking it down. That was actually a big hurdle for me, where I was like, oh, I could just date someone and it's not,

• 1:12:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:12:24Stavros Halkias?

  It doesn't mean I'm engaged to her. It just means like, I'm not sleeping with anybody else, I'm figuring it out.

• 1:12:28Speaker 02

  Right. I think that's the thing that's changed over time. Like, you know, I got married 20 years ago. And that, it's like, the, the, the apps made it, now this is something we're really doing here. You know, or something happened where, because you did just used to kind of like fuck around a lot.

• 1:12:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and you would-

• 1:12:46Speaker 02

  There was a lot of fucking around. It was kind of fun.

• 1:12:50Stavros Halkias?

  Bring it back. What else we got, Eldis?

• 1:12:55Speaker 04

  Case of, hello, Eldis, esteemed guest. Uh, I re, I have to re-record this because the last one sounded like just complete dog shit. So, okay, for context, I am 21. I'm on my own, living on my own. Um, I have a very complicated relationship with my parents. My dad's a serial cheater with two kids out of wedlock.

• 1:13:15Speaker 02

  Oh, boy.

• 1:13:16Speaker 04

  And he recently started a divorce process with my mom, who is also kind of a piece of shit. Because she just kept on going back to him. Long story. I have a 10-year-old brother.

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  I love that they don't give the mom any grace.

• 1:13:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:29Speaker 02

  She was in love, this bitch.

• 1:13:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they, they, they write, yeah, they write the female characters even in their own lives.

• 1:13:39Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:39Stavros Halkias?

  Like, like a male director.

• 1:13:43Speaker 02

  This fucking asshole.

• 1:13:45Speaker 04

  I have a ten year old brother. He is, he's a sweet kid when he wants to be. We have a lot of issues because he's just really mean to a point where it's like, I can tell it's because of the divorce. But like, nobody does anything to tell him like, hey, maybe you shouldn't call people fat. You know, maybe you shouldn't like be a brat, you know? And to top it all off, he's like a Gen Alpha fucking, uh, stupid ass kid. You know, watching YouTube videos, AI YouTube videos and stuff, like playing Fortnite all the time.

• 1:14:17Stavros Halkias?

  This kid's so fucked, it's crazy.

• 1:14:19Speaker 04

  My question to you is like-

• 1:14:19Stavros Halkias?

  He's probably got a, he's probably taking a fucking hammer to his cheekbones as we speak. Keep going, Aldous.

• 1:14:25Speaker 04

  So, my question to you is, is like, is he savable? Is, is it, is it over for him?

• 1:14:31Stavros Halkias?

  What are you, hold on, what are you talking about?

• 1:14:33Speaker 02

  No, put him, put him down, put him down.

• 1:14:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One quick one to the back of the head like Old Yeller.

• 1:14:39Speaker 02

  You get, you get a, you get a, a, a coat hanger, you know, like that. Grab his leg.

• 1:14:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, bash him in the fucking head with an axe. Um, is he savable? Come on.

• 1:14:52Speaker 02

  Well, the thing is that at ten, when they're assholes, it's kind of good. Cause it's, it's not the usual age. So he's gonna, he's actually gonna get out of it. He's actually probably early enough an asshole that he'll figure out himself. Because at a certain age, kids' brains start going against everything around them. So he hasn't even hit that age yet. So he'll start-

• 1:15:13Stavros Halkias?

  He might rebel against this.

• 1:15:14Speaker 02

  He will rebel against this. He'll, might become a great person.

• 1:15:17Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting.

• 1:15:19Speaker 02

  I, I think it's like, like, the way, the reason teenagers do that is in case they have bad parents.

• 1:15:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:15:26Speaker 02

  That they can get out of it, that-

• 1:15:28Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, that you have the, the urge to potentially rebel.

• 1:15:31Speaker 02

  Yes, you have the urge to go, whatever you believe, I don't believe, I'm gonna believe all this now. So that you can have an opening of mind experience in case they're shitty.

• 1:15:41Stavros Halkias?

  That is actually a really interesting evolutionary argument. Why there's a black sheep in like, most families.

• 1:15:46Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:15:47Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's like, you could, and again, this is awesome, because we're really just letting it fly. We have no idea, no concept, no nothing.

• 1:15:54Speaker 02

  This is what science is now.

• 1:15:55Stavros Halkias?

  This is science, but it is, it would be a fun theory if, if evolutionarily, they just made a black sheep. Because they're like, hey, if the society, this, or if the group, the clan that this individual happens to be born into, actually is onto the wrong stuff, will have a group, a smaller group kind of splinter cell off and rebel and form their own and say, which if they're right, then they'll flourish and the genes go either way. It's kind of fun to think about.

• 1:16:23Speaker 02

  No, nobody came to my vegan's side.

• 1:16:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, not you. Your line is dying. And you, again, repopulate. You became vegan and married Rich Voss. I mean, again, again.

• 1:16:36Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:16:36Stavros Halkias?

  Although it is crazy, you know.

• 1:16:37Speaker 02

  Don't put me in a box, man.

• 1:16:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's funny, though. We didn't even talk about how fucking insane it is that your daughter's in college. That's like one of, that's like a classic comedy kid that ages all of us. Where we all remember like, you know, her as a kid at the stand. We all remember like with her fucking.

• 1:16:54Speaker 02

  Well, I wanted to come to the stand and hang out and see everybody again, because she's like this absolutely gorgeous, like funny person.

• 1:17:01Stavros Halkias?

  You want her out of comedy clubs.

• 1:17:05Stavros Halkias?

  Don't, make sure Jeff Ross isn't around.

• 1:17:08Speaker 02

  You know, she, she sent me, I'm in the Epstein files or whatever.

• 1:17:14Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean you're in the Epstein files?

• 1:17:16Speaker 02

  So Raina sent me the thing, because there's a flyer in the Epstein emails that I'm on, the show.

• 1:17:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wait, were you part of the people that it was like, somebody was saying Epstein? Yeah, because Epstein wanted to go to the cellar one night?

• 1:17:29Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 1:17:31Stavros Halkias?

  You were on the lineup that night?

• 1:17:32Speaker 02

  So all her and her friends put in all their parents' names as a, to search, and guess whose fucking name came up?

• 1:17:44Speaker 02

  So, so Raina was like, you brought me there, because I.

• 1:17:48Stavros Halkias?

  I could have been trafficked, but Jeffrey Epstein could have found me at the Comedy Cellar.

• 1:17:52Speaker 02

  I go, I brought you there to give to Jeffrey Epstein. Epstein, he wouldn't take you.

• 1:18:00Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I'm actually pretty, we could be living on the Upper East Side right now.

• 1:18:03Speaker 02

  But she was like, I go, why is it a flex to you? Cause she was like telling all her friends and stuff, she goes, I don't know, it's quite cool.

• 1:18:10Stavros Halkias?

  It is funny because it's, because being in the Epstein files innocently is a flex. Cause it's funny, it's just funny.

• 1:18:18Speaker 02

  It's just funny.

• 1:18:18Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's like, if you search your parents' name and it comes up, um, most people aren't giggling about that. Most people are like, wah, it's like changed your whole life.

• 1:18:28Speaker 02

  They all sat around their sorority and put in all their parents' names.

• 1:18:32Stavros Halkias?

  I fully believe that, that makes so much sense to me. That's exactly what we'd be doing if we were fucking kids right now and there was like a big pedophile list.

• 1:18:39Speaker 02

  Yes, right.

• 1:18:40Stavros Halkias?

  Like, ah, your dad fucks kids. Like, if Aldous' dad was in the Epstein files, that'd be the funniest thing that ever happened. If they're like, oh yeah, we had an Albanian chauffeur who kept trying to fuck the kids, but we had to hose him down. That's, that's, that's the.

• 1:18:54Speaker 05

  They would have loved to have that kind of status.

• 1:18:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yo, in Albania, they would have made a fucking, put a fucking, uh, uh, statue of him at the capital. First Albanian yeoman to shake hands with the Jews that control the world. And he'd have his little driver's cap on.

• 1:19:12Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, that's so fucking funny. Um, what were we answering the que, what was the, oh, what question was this?

• 1:19:17Speaker 02

  The kid be okay, I think the kid will be okay.

• 1:19:18Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry.

• 1:19:19Speaker 02

  The kid's gonna be okay.

• 1:19:19Speaker 05

  There's still, there's still more, I'm gonna.

• 1:19:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, give us some more.

• 1:19:23Speaker 04

  It's pretty far away, but I try and keep in contact with him. And when he is mean to me, I'm like, hey, bro, like, I'm not gonna talk to you if you call me fat. Where you like are really rude to me, like it's just that, but then my mom.

• 1:19:35Stavros Halkias?

  First, she said, calling people fat.

• 1:19:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, right.

• 1:19:38Stavros Halkias?

  And now, and now she's actually clarified that it's actually calling her fat. That is actually what's driving her crazy, so anyways, go.

• 1:19:47Speaker 04

  But then my mom coddles him and my dad basically doesn't fucking do anything, prick.

• 1:19:52Speaker 02

  He called me fat, I'll leave him alone.

• 1:19:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, sweetheart, I mean, he shouldn't be rude, but.

• 1:20:01Speaker 02

  He could lose a few.

• 1:20:04Stavros Halkias?

  At least we don't gotta get the kid eyeglasses, I'll say that.

• 1:20:11Speaker 04

  Well, I don't really know what to do. I wanna have a relationship with him. I don't want him to fall down like the alt-right pipeline, which is like what seems to be happening.

• 1:20:20Speaker 02

  Feels like only one thing you can do.

• 1:20:22Speaker 04

  Like, I hate gay people and stuff like that. And I don't know, dude. Like, I just don't know what to do in this situation, because I'm not his parent. So like-

• 1:20:30Stavros Halkias?

  This is kinda hard.

• 1:20:31Speaker 02

  I think she should lose weight.

• 1:20:32Speaker 04

  I think I have the right to fucking, you know.

• 1:20:37Speaker 02

  I see, I see an answer.

• 1:20:41Stavros Halkias?

  Look, the kid, he's not gonna be helped by having a look at ugly broads all day.

• 1:20:47Speaker 02

  Give him something to look up to.

• 1:20:50Stavros Halkias?

  Um, this is hard because it's both a real problem that I would be worried about, and she is so clearly too close to the situation. Because what's, the problem with her brother is that he's a kid whose parents are going through this fucked up divorce.

• 1:21:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:06Stavros Halkias?

  And if your parents are both pieces of shit, that's gonna fuck you up one way or the other. Like, look, me and my brothers got out, got, you know, we didn't have, our parents were not, you know, there were some problems, but we didn't, it was nothing crazy, but there was plenty of mental illness and there was anger issues and there was fighting and there was stuff that could fuck you up.

• 1:21:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:22Stavros Halkias?

  And there's low-level abuse, whatever, right? Nothing crazy, nothing really insane.

• 1:21:26Speaker 02

  Doesn't everyone have a low-level abuse?

• 1:21:27Stavros Halkias?

  Compared to like other shit, whatever. And we're all doing pretty good, but all of us had our own problems, right? Like, we had, I had some mental illness that I had to get over. I had some, I had some real, you know, it's like, we have depression, anxiety, and other forms of more extreme mental illness that are like, kinda, that we all have struggled with.

• 1:21:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:47Stavros Halkias?

  And we didn't even have that bad an upbringing, right? So, this kid-

• 1:21:51Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:21:52Stavros Halkias?

  He's gonna have some weird shit, right?

• 1:21:53Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:21:54Stavros Halkias?

  Now, the problem is, shh, the way he's affected by this divorce, you are, you are so emotional about a 10-year-old calling you fat.

• 1:22:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:03Stavros Halkias?

  This is hurting your feelings in a, in a serious way, where, and even you being like, can I save him? It's like, of course, the kid is savable. What you should do now is an interesting question. What kind of relationship you should have with a kinda bratty, younger brother? I think, you're not his parent, but you are an adult, right? How old did she say?

• 1:22:22Speaker 02

  Twenty-one.

• 1:22:23Stavros Halkias?

  She's 21. Okay, so yeah.

• 1:22:26Speaker 02

  An adult to him, though.

• 1:22:27Stavros Halkias?

  Definitely an adult to him, for sure. What you need to do is, no pun intended, be the bigger person.

• 1:22:38Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry, sorry. I'm not even saying you're that fat. I'm fat as shit. Okay, and I do think it's rude, even if you were, or even if you are or are not fat, it is rude for your ten year old brother to call you that.

• 1:22:49Speaker 02

  Kids call people fat all the time. They know that that's a trigger and they can get a good reaction and they do it all the fucking time.

• 1:22:57Stavros Halkias?

  Those little fuckers don't know it's coming for them.

• 1:23:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:23:01Stavros Halkias?

  I love when you see a seven year old being like, "I don't want to be fat," or whatever. It's like...

• 1:23:04Speaker 02

  Wait till you get your period.

• 1:23:05Stavros Halkias?

  No disrespect, you're gonna be fat. We live in America.

• 1:23:09Speaker 02

  Wait till you get on birth control.

• 1:23:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. So I would say, yes, you do, you kind of have to slightly be above it. Don't engage, you know, don't engage with him in terms of like, don't let him act out the way he wants to. If he, again, you're not his parent in that if he's being a complete brat, you could just be like, "I'm not dealing with you when you act like this." I think, I think you need to be, because right now, maybe you're not his cool older sister, but soon, like, this age gap is actually pretty good for an older sibling.

• 1:23:40Speaker 02

  He's lucky that he has her.

• 1:23:42Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. Like, in, in a couple years, when he needs a little help navigating the world, you will be in your mid twenties, you will really know a bunch of shit. So I think the best thing to do is, right now, don't create the weird kind of sibling rivalry that makes it so that you can't...

• 1:23:59Speaker 02

  Let him call you fat.

• 1:24:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just, just like, be like, "You're being a fucking brat."

• 1:24:03Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:24:03Stavros Halkias?

  Don't fu, you can't, don't, you're not, "Oh, I'm a, I'm a fat, you know, I'm a fat bitch. I guess you don't want to come to Chick-fil-A with me," or whatever. Or go to Target. Just like, the little perks that an older sibling can for a younger sibling. "Oh, I guess you don't need somebody to go take you to buy a fucking Switch," or whatever the fuck.

• 1:24:17Speaker 02

  But don't get mad. Don't take it personally where you don't, now you're gonna be another part of his problem.

• 1:24:21Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. I think you need to do what, do whatever you can to avoid becoming his enemy.

• 1:24:27Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:24:27Stavros Halkias?

  Don't take it upon yourself to parent him. Look, in fact, you have the ability, you have the advantage of not being lame like a parent.

• 1:24:34Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:24:35Stavros Halkias?

  The ability to be like, when he's being a fucking idiot, you should be like, you're being a fucking loser.

• 1:24:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:24:39Stavros Halkias?

  No girls are gonna wanna fuck you if you act like that. Like truly, you could act, and so I think you need to avoid becoming his enemy when he's in this weird situation going through divorce, you know, your parents are going through divorce.

• 1:24:49Speaker 02

  And always be available to him.

• 1:24:50Stavros Halkias?

  Be available and understand that you may not be his parent, but it's like, you do have to step in a little bit in a way that you shouldn't have to. Understand that. You shouldn't have to do this.

• 1:25:00Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:25:00Stavros Halkias?

  But this, I think, is the recipe. It's like, stay his friend, he's being a cunt. Don't, you know, don't allow that kind of behavior, don't support it. Uh, but yeah, I think in a couple of years, he will want, when you're fucking fifteen, you know how sick it is to have a sibling that's twenty-six? They could buy you fucking beer.

• 1:25:19Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:25:19Stavros Halkias?

  They could get you weed, like, you know.

• 1:25:21Speaker 02

  You know, go stay overnight at her place or whatever would be amazing.

• 1:25:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like when your sister would take us to fucking TGI Fridays and the movies. Oh, yeah. That was fucking awesome, dude. Those were like some of the best, you know, we're like, we're thirteen. You feel like a fucking adult.

• 1:25:35Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 1:25:35Stavros Halkias?

  So soon, you will have a lot, access to a lot of stuff that he wants, right?

• 1:25:41Speaker 02

  If you don't, you know, take personally and like, try to like, get even or have resentments with him.

• 1:25:48Stavros Halkias?

  Don't beef with the child, even though it's your brother.

• 1:25:51Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:25:51Stavros Halkias?

  Right?

• 1:25:51Speaker 02

  Although it's hard, cause, cause Reyna would be so rude sometimes and, you know.

• 1:25:56Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:25:57Speaker 02

  It's like hard not to be like, even when she was really little and we'd be playing and she wouldn't let my Barbie do stuff.

• 1:26:02Stavros Halkias?

  Kind of like, she was kind of an asshole as a little kid. It was hilarious.

• 1:26:06Speaker 02

  Well, in the comedy clubs, I will say this about her, that I left her in the prison yard and then people were like, she's acting like a prisoner.

• 1:26:12Stavros Halkias?

  But it was, but I, but I made that in a good way.

• 1:26:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:15Stavros Halkias?

  Where it was like, it was funny to see a little kid be like, just like, be like, shut up. Like, not even.

• 1:26:21Speaker 02

  She went to my opener, she put, we were eating before the show and then she finished and she put her napkin in his, like, shirt and she goes, go buy yourself something pretty.

• 1:26:32Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, you have told this story either on here on Come Town, about how they were bullying her and her middle school friends.

• 1:26:39Speaker 02

  Oh, God, yes. Right, right.

• 1:26:42Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember, was that on Come Town?

• 1:26:43Speaker 02

  I don't remember, yeah.

• 1:26:44Stavros Halkias?

  It's a Hall of Fame story. Look it up.

• 1:26:48Speaker 02

  He was getting upset. I'm always fascinated when people do get upset by kids, cause I guess I've like, got a thicker skin to it. But they were, he was getting upset because they somehow got his phone number and were texting him from the back of the, we had a van and we were going to a gig. And they were. The first thing they did was they called him a heroin addict, right?

• 1:27:09Stavros Halkias?

  I remember.

• 1:27:10Speaker 02

  Or they were like, oh, okay, crack addict or something like that. I think they were like 11 or 12 at a time and just at that age where it was like,

• 1:27:18Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course.

• 1:27:19Speaker 02

  They thought it was so, we were actually laughing pretty hard too. Ian was the one who was not that into it.

• 1:27:26Stavros Halkias?

  It's such a hilarious story. Fuck. Anyway. Uh, yeah. So, but it is hard. Kids can be mean, but it's like you don't have to be his parents. So you can just walk away when you're fed up.

• 1:27:37Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 1:27:38Stavros Halkias?

  And just maintain, cause I do think.

• 1:27:40Speaker 02

  Leave the door open.

• 1:27:41Stavros Halkias?

  Leave the door open because I think that's the solution here.

• 1:27:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I agree.

• 1:27:44Stavros Halkias?

  But good luck. That sucks. And give yourself and him grace. Because she also, when you're 21, even though you're an adult and your parents are getting divorced and you have this younger brother who kind of pulls you back into childhood, you're regressing a little bit.

• 1:27:59Speaker 02

  Yes, right.

• 1:28:00Stavros Halkias?

  Psychologically. So try, try not do that. Go, you go to therapy. If you can get your, your, you know, brother into therapy either now or later, that's good.

• 1:28:08Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't believe in therapy.

• 1:28:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome. And we don't have time to get into that. And we will save that for another episode.

• 1:28:14Speaker 02

  I believe in Patreon.

• 1:28:17Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, hey, well, listen, if I had to pick one, believe me, I'm picking Patreon sister.

• 1:28:23Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it is not even close, which would have had a better effect on my life. Patreon versus therapy. Are you kidding me? I mean, I even, I'm working on a joke where it's like, uh, it's not going to be on this hour, but it was like, my therapist goes on vacation in August. And then, so instead of seeing him weekly, I've just got a weekly cleaning lady instead of like, you know, monthly.

• 1:28:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:43Stavros Halkias?

  And I was like, wait, this is helping my life so much more than a fucking guy.

• 1:28:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:28:49Stavros Halkias?

  I just have to complain to an old guy or I never do dishes.

• 1:28:52Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:28:52Stavros Halkias?

  I'm going to be a lot happier if I never have to fucking do dishes. But anyway, uh, give us another call, Aldous.

• 1:29:00Speaker 03

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• 1:30:11Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, Stu, Elvis, I just left a voicemail earlier, please disregard that one.

• 1:30:17Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:30:18Stavros Halkias?

  Anyways, I, um, long time, first time, love the show, um, calling in for a little bit of advice because I am, um, a reformed infel. Oh, yeah. Been married to my wifey for six years, uh, great sex life, she's the best, um, kind of the one who pulled me out of infelhood. Good for you, man.

• 1:30:42Speaker 02

  She's gobbling my cock. Are women people?

• 1:30:46Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, this is pretty nice.

• 1:30:51Speaker 02

  Maybe I've been too hard on these bitches.

• 1:30:54Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe I've been too hard on this type of person. What they're doing now feels kinda awesome, and that actually is the-

• 1:31:00Speaker 02

  Does this make me gay?

• 1:31:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Is the fact that I'm respecting a woman because she gave me pussy make me gay?

• 1:31:07Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:31:08Stavros Halkias?

  You know, that is kind of how society works. It's like, you get annoyed by women, then you fuck, and you're like, you know what, women actually are awesome. It's like, that's the way anything works.

• 1:31:19Speaker 02

  They're so soft.

• 1:31:20Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, let's see what he's got.

• 1:31:26Stavros Halkias?

  Tunnel. Um, so props to her. Fuck yeah, dude. Anyways, um, life is great. I've been away from. Pause this again. We need to get this guy to be doing, we need, I swear to God, we need to have an in person. Like, we need to have, like, incel conversion therapy, the way, the way they had gay, they have gay conversion therapy.

• 1:31:45Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:31:46Stavros Halkias?

  And we need to just get a camp. Get like, oh dude, this would go crazy. If we got like 10 of the incels that have called into the program and did a reality show.

• 1:31:55Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 1:31:55Stavros Halkias?

  We go to a camp and we just, by the way, buy sex worker, like, we just hire a bunch of awesome sex workers. We have them like, train how to talk to women. We have them go, we have them like, we queer eye them, or we, we fat eye them. Fat eye for the incel. It needs a little work, but if, that would be incredible. If we got 10 incels and we had this guy come.

• 1:32:16Speaker 02

  But really, they really are incels.

• 1:32:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, look, I get, of course. They, they're out there. Again, me and Eldis are reformed incels. We didn't get pussy when we were teenagers, you know what I mean? Like, that form.

• 1:32:26Speaker 02

  Is that what an incel is? Just somebody to get pussy?

• 1:32:28Stavros Halkias?

  Involuntarily celibate is what it means.

• 1:32:30Speaker 02

  Oh, I never realized that. Oh, I just thought it was like right wing trolls.

• 1:32:35Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. Incel started from purely, the definition is involuntarily celibate.

• 1:32:41Speaker 02

  Oh God, I can't believe I didn't know that.

• 1:32:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. We're, everybody's learning. Um.

• 1:32:47Speaker 02

  Did everyone know that but me?

• 1:32:48Stavros Halkias?

  I think so. A lot, not everyone, but a lot of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's okay.

• 1:32:53Speaker 02

  Well, I didn't know. By the way, I'm not on my phone.

• 1:32:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're not on my, you're unplugged. You're fucking, you're out there fucking, you know, putting, putting okra for the season.

• 1:33:01Speaker 02

  I get it now. Okay.

• 1:33:03Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, let's see what else he's got, Eldis. You know, that area for over six, seven years now. Um, and just kind of recently identified a part of my life where I think it's still affecting me in some of my relationships, particularly just with, um, women who are my friends. Um, I have caught myself, um, being kind of cold or borderline sometimes rude to my female friends because.

• 1:33:31Stavros Halkias?

  I am kind of scared of coming off as flirty or interested or, or approach, you know, coming after um my female friends in some kind of romantic way. Uh, I've never had an instance where that has happened and someone's called me out, either my wife or any of my friends. It's more just, I guess, recently as I've thought about this, I think some kind of incel naivety or insecurity of just. Yeah. That makes total sense.

• 1:34:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, cause once you're married, that's the best time to flirt.

• 1:34:07Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and cheat too. And then maybe you could, now you're really not an incel.

• 1:34:12Speaker 02

  If you don't want, if you don't want to cheat, you can always be like, I'm married.

• 1:34:17Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Well, no, that is, it's a joke, but it is kind of true in terms of like, when you're in a relationship and you truly don't want to cheat and you're just being yourself because you're happy, because you're with someone who has lifted you up, you do attract more people then, because you're just happier and better and everything. Um, but

• 1:34:38Speaker 02

  And flirting a lot of times is just having a, a, a great conversation with someone.

• 1:34:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes. It doesn't have to be, now.

• 1:34:45Speaker 02

  Sexual.

• 1:34:46Stavros Halkias?

  It doesn't have to be, yes. But is, do you have more? Okay. Rather just um be borderline weird to these people so that there is no fear of that. But rather, you know, um, be friends with women and be myself around them. So I would love your take on that, especially with. This is good. You know, all the friendships you've developed and um, as you've kind of gone through that process yourself. Anyways, I would really appreciate your take on this. Um, love the show and thank you.

• 1:35:18Speaker 02

  Well, I guess I, I need a, a clarifier on what the problem actually is.

• 1:35:24Stavros Halkias?

  The problem is, so he's saying, he's great. He's been delivered out of incel hood. He's in a nice committed relationship. Now he finds himself sort of.

• 1:35:35Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe even subconsciously on some level, being colder and less friendly to women, friends and like associates. Because he doesn't, and he thinks it might, it's like vestigial, like, he doesn't want to be seen as flirting or crossing a boundary.

• 1:35:50Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:35:51Stavros Halkias?

  He is now, he still sees, his relationship to women is still like wrapped up in shame and embarrassment. Now, instead of getting rejected, and on some level, still getting rejected, right? Now it's just the opposite, where it's like, now he's getting, now women are gonna demonize him for trying to fuck them, or like trying to be inappropriate or whatever.

• 1:36:10Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:36:11Stavros Halkias?

  Whereas before, he was scared of getting rejected by women, now he's scared of being made out to be a predator or whatever.

• 1:36:17Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 1:36:18Stavros Halkias?

  And I would say first and foremost, I, if I were you, everything I know about you, buddy, you being too dastardly charming to a woman would not be at the top of my worries. Them thinking you're behaving, them, them perceiving you as Antonio Banderas in his prime is not something I would be worried about. Number one.

• 1:36:39Speaker 02

  Complimenting women has gotten such a weird thing recently. You can totally compliment women, it doesn't have to be sexual. You don't just say like, "Her boobs."

• 1:36:47Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:36:47Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 1:36:48Stavros Halkias?

  You look nice, cool jacket.

• 1:36:49Speaker 02

  You look nice, I like it.

• 1:36:50Stavros Halkias?

  You do have a cool jacket, yeah.

• 1:36:51Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:36:52Stavros Halkias?

  And cool pants, yeah.

• 1:36:53Speaker 02

  Something with, you know, you do something different with your hair, that's fine. People are like, "I can't say something nice about her shoes," is like such a weird thing.

• 1:37:00Stavros Halkias?

  But also, it's like, dude-

• 1:37:01Speaker 02

  But it doesn't have to be sexual.

• 1:37:03Stavros Halkias?

  And I would say, you are in a good, like, you clearly love your wife, she, you owe her everything, you know? You could be fucking, you could be, you'd have a whole dark fucking life if there's not for this woman. You don't want to cheat. I think this is a really good opportunity for you to re, this is a great learning opportunity where you're like, you don't, because you want to fuck your female coworkers the same amount you want to fuck your male coworkers now, zero.

• 1:37:26Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:37:26Stavros Halkias?

  Because you don't want to, you know, sleep with them.

• 1:37:28Speaker 02

  You don't want to wreck your relationship.

• 1:37:29Stavros Halkias?

  So, I think this is freeing, you should be able to, and how do you do? Like, basically, his question is essentially, how do I just have better female friendships?

• 1:37:39Speaker 02

  Well, I think like, it's just like being curious about other people.

• 1:37:42Stavros Halkias?

  That's it.

• 1:37:42Speaker 02

  Is, you know, just, like I said before, like, when people are nice, I, I, I, not, nice isn't even the right word, because I don't like nice that much, but like-

• 1:37:52Stavros Halkias?

  Inquisitive, take an interest.

• 1:37:54Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, it's like, it's, it's, it makes life so much better.

• 1:37:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, spend a little bit of their time seeing you. And I think that's a good way to look at it. You have only looked at relationships with women as a, like, how can I?

• 1:38:07Speaker 02

  A means to an end.

• 1:38:07Stavros Halkias?

  How can I win her over? How could, that energy, you've never expanded, expounded energy. Expand, expound it?

• 1:38:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think that's right.

• 1:38:16Stavros Halkias?

  You've never used the energy for the purpose of

• 1:38:22Stavros Halkias?

  getting non-sexual intimacy with a woman. Now, you can still, it's social, you're still using part of your social battery, but it's just, the means are different, the, the end is much different. Now, you want to form a real friendship. So just put, it's not, I think he doesn't realize that taking an interest in a woman is not cheating on his wife. Being like, oh, how was your weekend?

• 1:38:45Speaker 02

  Yes, taking an interest in people.

• 1:38:47Stavros Halkias?

  It's just, yes.

• 1:38:47Speaker 02

  And learning more about how women think will help you in your relationship with your wife.

• 1:38:51Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, and in your job, and in just being a, so, I think that's, that's, it's as simple as that. Understanding, and I think he's, he kind of does understand his own psychology pretty well. Where it's like, yes, that's a stupid vestigial way of thinking. Where, eh, you know, you can't put real energy into talking to a woman for fear of getting rejected, or fear of now being outed as like a sexual harasser slash wannabe cheater.

• 1:39:15Speaker 02

  I think that's a thing that men, I don't know if they do, maybe he does, but like, if I was a man, that's what I would be worried about.

• 1:39:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and look, whatever, it's like, sure, but again, I don't think this guy, I think you greatly overestimate the amount these women think you're trying to fuck them. They probably think you're their nice but weird coworker, you know? And that's, and by the way, making friends, it's pretty simple. It hasn't gotten that crazy since being a little kid. Be nice to people, fucking bring in cup, bro, you bring cupcakes or donuts, or you're just saying, you just come in one day, you're like, my wife baked cookies for the whole office. You do simple shit like that, once a month, and ask your female coworkers how their fucking weekend was?

• 1:40:02Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:40:02Stavros Halkias?

  And just, and by the way, go to the movies with a group of frie- a group of like, you know, coworkers. Just do some shit like that. You're gonna, you're fine. You just need to understand that it is not, uh, you are not being lecherous by taking a real interest in your female friends. And I think for me, and if, if he asked, you know, he says, well, you know, we've dealt with it. And for my, yeah, my reality, the, the true answer for me is just like purely getting out of that mindset of only seeing your relationship to women as sexual.

• 1:40:35Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:40:35Stavros Halkias?

  That was it. Where I was like, or what happened to me is like, I moved here and I like, you're so lonely. And that you really, you like, a couple people like are nice to you and you're like, and if a woman is nice to you when you're like sad, you're like, I love her.

• 1:40:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:40:51Stavros Halkias?

  And then you talk to her and you even say how you feel and you're like, wait, I didn't fuck it. I wasn't in love with that girl. She was just a nice person.

• 1:40:57Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:40:57Stavros Halkias?

  And it literally like, for me, there was a moment where I was like, oh, I was just frie- I just was good friends with her.

• 1:41:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:41:03Stavros Halkias?

  And it really was a thing where it took me to be like 24, 25 to be like.

• 1:41:08Speaker 02

  To separate you those feelings.

• 1:41:09Stavros Halkias?

  Obviously I had like friends who I'd, I had close female friends who I like grew up with, who it was almost like, we became friends, we were children. So it's almost like you're grandfathered in at a simpler time. Where you don't even consider them like a sexual entity.

• 1:41:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:41:24Stavros Halkias?

  When we're growing.

• 1:41:25Speaker 02

  I kissed one of those guys one time.

• 1:41:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:28Speaker 02

  And it was so gross.

• 1:41:29Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:41:29Speaker 02

  I ran home, I was like.

• 1:41:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have a co- I have like, you know, one of my best friends is like that. But to truly, for me to truly kind of break the, the incel in my mind, I had to, it took me till I was like, yeah, in my mid twenties, which is like, it's kind of embarrassing to admit, but that's, that's how.

• 1:41:48Speaker 02

  When you say to break that incel friend, I'm like, that talking to every woman is.

• 1:41:53Stavros Halkias?

  Just to like.

• 1:41:53Speaker 02

  Trying to find out if you got an in or not.

• 1:41:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that even when you were just kind of friendly talking to someone in the back of your head, you're like, can I fuck her? You know what I mean? It's like.

• 1:42:03Speaker 02

  But I do think that, like, I think that about men, I, I.

• 1:42:06Stavros Halkias?

  There's just, look, there's a very small part of you that's, it's almost like evolutionary.

• 1:42:10Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 1:42:12Stavros Halkias?

  More of that.

• 1:42:12Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:42:12Stavros Halkias?

  The second we like, I would hit it off with someone as a friend who I cl- by the way, I didn't even really want to. It was just getting positive attention from a woman.

• 1:42:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:42:22Stavros Halkias?

  I felt like, oh, I have to immediately convert this into sexual currency.

• 1:42:26Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 1:42:27Stavros Halkias?

  Cause that's what women are. It's like, that's their value is to, is to allow me opportunities to fuck.

• 1:42:32Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:42:32Stavros Halkias?

  And then it took me like to actually come here, really move, switching up my shit up, coming to New York, rethinking everything and just meeting a ton of people where you realize like, oh, I do just like being around it. And it's just like, you just have to let go of that shit and it's very simple though. Cause once you do it, you're like, oh yeah, this is great. This is better. This is fun and.

• 1:42:54Speaker 02

  And now you can actually determine who you might like.

• 1:42:59Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:42:59Speaker 02

  As opposed to just taking whatever you think might be crumbs given to you.

• 1:43:03Stavros Halkias?

  And then it gets to be fun. Cause then now you get to be misogynist with women. You get to trash other women with women and you're not even misogynist. It's a loophole.

• 1:43:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're being supportive to at least one woman.

• 1:43:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, when you start gossiping about some dumb bitch you hate with your girlfriends.

• 1:43:21Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:43:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's the best. Elders doesn't have that level of, of malice in his heart. He doesn't want to destroy anyone the way some of my female friends want to destroy their enemies.

• 1:43:33Speaker 02

  Like men will destroy other men by just like some facts, you know, or like he doesn't make any money or nobody comes to his shows or whatever. But women get into the character of someone deep in there. We'll, we'll, we'll take apart their traumas.

• 1:43:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah, it's the best.

• 1:43:48Speaker 02

  Oh, their brother died when they were five. Get over it. You know, it's like.

• 1:43:53Stavros Halkias?

  And then when you throw gay guys into the mix too.

• 1:43:55Speaker 02

  Oh my god. They're, they're.

• 1:43:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's awesome.

• 1:43:58Speaker 02

  They have the ruthlessness of.

• 1:44:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's both.

• 1:44:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:44:01Stavros Halkias?

  It's like male domination and the ruthless cattiness of women.

• 1:44:05Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:44:05Stavros Halkias?

  They're like the meanest gay guys, the meanest person on earth.

• 1:44:08Speaker 02

  Yes, absolutely. And also.

• 1:44:10Stavros Halkias?

  Like a, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. And now we've, I was thinking about, I think my next initiative is like, really expand the lesbian friendship tent. Cause I got girls, I got gay guys, but I'm like, you know, I'm. I feel like I'm sorely lacking on lesbians and I would just say in general, making friends with people that you connect with but have different life experiences makes your life so much richer.

• 1:44:32Speaker 02

  It's absolutely true.

• 1:44:33Stavros Halkias?

  You find out about shit, you, you know, you watch, you know, you watch, uh, so I marry, or you watch, uh, uh, what, what's the fucking Natasha Lyonne cheerleader movie, but I'm a cheerleader?

• 1:44:43Speaker 02

  Oh, right.

• 1:44:43Stavros Halkias?

  You, yeah, you watch that movie because gay guys tell you about it.

• 1:44:46Speaker 02

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 1:44:48Stavros Halkias?

  You just get, you just enrich yourself. And so I think you're in the right path.

• 1:44:53Speaker 02

  This is the problem with the algorithm too, is that it just keeps, it's a feedback loop. So you never, it's like, you have to actually go out.

• 1:45:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:01Speaker 02

  Meet people. Like, you don't even know, I always think this about growing up poor is I didn't even know what to hope for in richness. Like, in wealth. Like, I don't, I didn't know what was available.

• 1:45:11Stavros Halkias?

  I talk about that too, where it's like, getting, it's like when you, like, what happened to me when I first got money, real money, I was like, I got fat as fuck because I just started doing drugs and eating like steaks every day.

• 1:45:22Speaker 02

  Because you're like, I can do whatever I want.

• 1:45:23Stavros Halkias?

  It was the first time I could ever just, I could have a, a ribeye every day.

• 1:45:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:28Stavros Halkias?

  And it wouldn't affect me financially. It was the first, and I just, and I straight up did that a lot. I ate like, well, there was a tour of the universe.

• 1:45:36Speaker 02

  You're like a king.

• 1:45:36Stavros Halkias?

  It was crazy. I was, I was truly eating like a king and I was like, taking pills and edibles and just like, it was awesome. And by the way, I loved it, but it almost killed me.

• 1:45:45Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:45:45Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so, but you're good in that, like, yes, you're leaving the, the, uh, spiritual poverty of inceldom. And now you have the splendors of being friends with, with women and, you know, a, a bunch of other people.

• 1:45:58Speaker 02

  Now you can experience life.

• 1:45:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, this, and by the way, I would also say, this guy's married, whatever. Uh, the other thing to realize fro- for former incels is like, uh, if you start treating women like people and form real bonds with women, guess what? They have female friends who they will set you up with.

• 1:46:17Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 1:46:17Stavros Halkias?

  And that's the easiest dating you'll ever do in your life.

• 1:46:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:46:20Stavros Halkias?

  When a girl vouches for you to another girl.

• 1:46:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:46:23Stavros Halkias?

  You, you just have to not say the N word and you're good. You know what I mean?

• 1:46:27Speaker 02

  If you're, if you're a dude that has female friends, it, there's. You're so much better at talking to women, like, like, guys always do this, they go, why, why does all the girls like him? Like, he's not good looking, he has no money. It's like, you can tell he likes women.

• 1:46:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:41Speaker 02

  He's interested in women. He's just like a fun guy to be around women. Like, some, some men really aren't interested in women. They don't like hearing them talk or anything like that. And then you, women feel that, they get that.

• 1:46:52Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 1:46:53Speaker 02

  But if that person went out and was like, oh, I'm gonna be friends with women.

• 1:46:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:58Speaker 02

  And learn that skill.

• 1:47:00Stavros Halkias?

  And, and not expect that. That's the hard part. Everyone, and that's, by the way, I hate to fucking bring everything back to fucking how capitalism has destroyed us. But it is the thing where we have, we think of our time as a commodity. And we think of it as money, or we think of it as our ti- wasting our time being this precious thing where it's like, so if you go out and you talk to a woman and she doesn't fuck you, you're like, she just wasted four of my hours.

• 1:47:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:47:22Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Cause it's like, cause the only thing that's important is, but it's like, human connect, looking at things, like you're, like with dating, with no expectations, just being like, you know what, I'm going out with my friends. I'm gonna talk to some women. If something, if I hook up with one, great. If I get somebody's number, great. I just, the more just life experiences you have, the better off you're gonna be, uh, in general. And again, out, off the computer, touching grass, whatever the, all that shit.

• 1:47:49Speaker 02

  My friend was gonna date, uh, was talking to this guy on an app. And then she was gonna meet him and he made a documentary. So she watched the documentary and, um, she said, watch this documentary. So I watched it. It was a good documentary. And then she was like,

• 1:48:02Stavros Halkias?

  The guy told her to watch it or she watched it?

• 1:48:04Speaker 02

  No, she, she looked him up or whatever, saw that he had made a documentary, watched the documentary. She was like, should I go ahead?

• 1:48:08Stavros Halkias?

  Loose change.

• 1:48:10Speaker 02

  Dating with this guy?

• 1:48:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's the nine eleven was set up documentary.

• 1:48:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, um, it had something to do with health. I can't remember now. But anyway, so he seemed like an interesting guy, you know? And then she said, um, She goes, he, he just DM'd me that he wa- he wants to meet me, you know, he's, he's in her neighborhood. So he's gonna go to the spa. I go, just go meet him. She goes, no, because I don't think he's for me. Like, I don't really like the way he looked in the documentary and, you know, I don't know. And it's like, but he's just a guy.

• 1:48:42Stavros Halkias?

  And just go.

• 1:48:43Speaker 02

  Just go and sit there. You don't, there's no expectation there. But she wouldn't go out with him because she'd already made the decision that he wasn't a guy she was gonna marry.

• 1:48:50Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's, I mean, the, the, putting stakes on every interaction is what has ruined so much stuff. Making everything feel like it matters or his life and death or will affect you in really any way, other than just being like, eh. Like you watch a movie from the seventies and it's, people just hung out all day. Or the plan was, hey, I'll meet you at the fucking, I'll meet you at the park at 1pm. They make that plan at 6pm the day before.

• 1:49:16Speaker 02

  And then they just go. Yes.

• 1:49:18Stavros Halkias?

  And they're like, ah, I can't.

• 1:49:19Speaker 02

  If somebody doesn't show up.

• 1:49:20Stavros Halkias?

  I told him I would meet him. There's no like, hey, I'm actually 40 minutes. Like, yeah, if that person doesn't show up, they are dead to you for that day. And then you see him the next day, you're like, what the fuck happened to you?

• 1:49:28Speaker 02

  Oh, it was this, it was that.

• 1:49:30Stavros Halkias?

  And you really don't know.

• 1:49:31Speaker 02

  And you don't get, have this great anxiety. Like the minute you don't get a text from someone, there's anxiety when really.

• 1:49:38Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, oh, I guess he got hung up. Who, who knows? Anyway, anyway.

• 1:49:42Speaker 02

  But the thing is, like, the, the time thing that you're saying where it's like, you're like, don't waste my time. It's like, what are you saving it up for? Do you know what I mean?

• 1:49:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's a great point.

• 1:49:51Speaker 02

  You're basically just putting in time until you die. That's all this really is. Like, there's nothing you can take with you.

• 1:49:59Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:49:59Speaker 02

  It's just experiences anyway, so you might, like.

• 1:50:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's, that is the actual thing we should be trying to hoard, is experiences. Instead of fucking capital, instead of like shit that you steal from other people that, to really be rich, you have to exploit other people on some level.

• 1:50:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:50:15Stavros Halkias?

  To be like crazy rich. Instead be like, go do the craziest shit. Do, if, if something sounds weird. Go do it, man.

• 1:50:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:50:23Stavros Halkias?

  If it's safe, whatever. Um, yeah, just try different shit out. And so, you know, this is a very minor version of that. Speaking to a woman as if she's a

• 1:50:32Speaker 02

  A human.

• 1:50:32Stavros Halkias?

  Equal. Is a minor version of that.

• 1:50:35Speaker 02

  Not someone that you have to fuck.

• 1:50:38Speaker 02

  Just someone you want to find out a little bit about.

• 1:50:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, but this, you're in the right spot. You really are a success story and it's, I, it makes me feel good to hear a call like this. It really does.

• 1:50:49Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:50:50Stavros Halkias?

  And yeah, you're, you're, you're in for a little treat, pal. I can't wait till they, you know, they'll show you Real Housewives.

• 1:50:59Speaker 02

  I know, but guys do, the minute they get a girlfriend, they're like, watch all these female shows. They're like, they become obsessed.

• 1:51:06Stavros Halkias?

  Big Vampire Diaries guy now. Hit us with another one. Actually, give us something to go out on, something fun to go out on, LD.

• 1:51:14Speaker 04

  Hi, guys, elders and esteemed guests. I have a quick one for you about a new guy I'm dating. I just want to get your advice.

• 1:51:25Speaker 04

  I'll get right to it. The guy I've been seeing for two months bought me a laptop that is approx, worth approximately $1,600.

• 1:51:35Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:51:36Speaker 04

  And, um, also he bought me an iPhone, um, at the same time. And I don't know how much that was, but, um, yeah, I felt kind of weird about it, but he was like, I just want you to be, uh, successful in your new job. And, um, I think he has like a provider kink kind of thing, but, um, I'm feeling weird and about it.

• 1:52:01Speaker 02

  I love that everything gets put into a phrase.

• 1:52:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:05Speaker 02

  The guy's being nice. Well, I guess he has a provider kink.

• 1:52:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Or the funniest one is when, when straight people start talking about breeding kinks.

• 1:52:13Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 1:52:14Stavros Halkias?

  And they just mean nutting inside someone. It's like, so you just mean the thing we were designed to do biologically? It's like, you're the one.

• 1:52:22Speaker 02

  Any god particle is what just went into that woman.

• 1:52:25Stavros Halkias?

  You're the one, you're like, actually breeding, you could say is actually, not to say what's natural or unnatural. That's the only one that's not a kink. The people that just wanna nut, get nutted in and nut inside someone. You're the only one doing it like, it's like, yeah, of course. That's not like a fucking, that's not like something you're into, that just is sex. You're just describing sex, you can't, but yes, provider gig. But I will say, in this case, spending three grand on someone you're dating for two months.

• 1:52:56Speaker 02

  But listen, if the guy has a good job and he's into success, which it looks, sounds like he is, then he really is just like, maybe it's not that big of a deal to him to spend three grand.

• 1:53:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:53:08Speaker 02

  And if he likes her and he's like, I want you to do well, like. First of all, I think people just like spending money if they have it.

• 1:53:14Stavros Halkias?

  If they have it, sure, sure, sure.

• 1:53:16Speaker 02

  Ways to do it.

• 1:53:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:53:17Speaker 02

  But anyway.

• 1:53:18Stavros Halkias?

  But let's see, let's see if she gives us any more info.

• 1:53:21Speaker 04

  What do you think from guy point of view, is that normal? He also told me to let him know if I didn't want it within 15 days because that is a return policy of the story he got it at. Okay.

• 1:53:36Speaker 02

  So he's not that rich?

• 1:53:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:53:40Speaker 02

  Okay, interesting. I'm glad she added that detail because.

• 1:53:45Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I mean, look.

• 1:53:46Speaker 02

  But maybe he's not wasteful.

• 1:53:47Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe he's not wasteful, yes. To, look, okay, speaking as someone with money, who, and by the way, I do like, if I'm dating somebody or if like I'm out with somebody, like, yeah, obviously I pay for stuff, I get whatever, obviously.

• 1:54:02Speaker 02

  I like to, yeah, pick up a big dinner.

• 1:54:03Stavros Halkias?

  I like doing all that stuff. I take care of like, you know, my friends. I, you know, my family, obviously, all that stuff. In dating though, I actually would probably be, like, you know, again, if I buy, I pick up every check, whatever. And if we're go, you know, if we're traveling, I pay for stuff, but I'm saying, in terms of big gifts, I think I actually would wait because it's the kind of thing where you're like, I want, it's not that I care about spending money. It's that I want to make sure I'm not affecting this relationship.

• 1:54:33Speaker 02

  Right, right, right. So did she say how long they'd been dating?

• 1:54:36Stavros Halkias?

  Two months.

• 1:54:37Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:54:38Stavros Halkias?

  If I was dating, if I'm dating someone for a year and it's their, was it her birthday or did he just get it for her?

• 1:54:44Speaker 05

  He just got it for her. She mentioned the new job thing, so.

• 1:54:47Stavros Halkias?

  Now, yeah, okay, if I'm dating somebody for a while and she has a new job and she's worried about her computer, I'll buy her a computer.

• 1:54:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:54:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right? If it's, if it's serious.

• 1:54:56Speaker 02

  If she won't fucking shut up about it.

• 1:54:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If she shuts her fucking yap. If she finally gets off my dick about the one time I got head on the road, I'll buy her a computer. But I need that in writing. I need that it's never gonna come up again in writing. No, I would buy, if I'm in a serious relationship with somebody and she mentions she's worried about her fucking iPad broke and she needs it for her fucking job or whatever, of course I'd buy her it, whatever. But if I'm two months in and we're still kind of in the courting phase and in the getting to know each other, and what we were just talking about earlier, where it's like you can be monogamously dating and it's not serious. If we're still in the not serious but monogamous phase, I'm not spending that much money, not because it really matters to me, but because I don't want this to affect the way she views me or like.

• 1:55:41Speaker 02

  That's a very good point. I never thought of that, yeah.

• 1:55:43Stavros Halkias?

  Sees it as the way where it's like, I don't wanna feel like.

• 1:55:45Speaker 02

  Now she feels like, oh, I guess I'll stay with him a little longer, see.

• 1:55:49Stavros Halkias?

  Either way, in either direction, right? I don't want her to feel guilty about it.

• 1:55:52Speaker 02

  Well, I was thinking.

• 1:55:53Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want her to, I also want to feel like the person I'm with wants me for me.

• 1:55:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:55:58Stavros Halkias?

  And I want the relationship to form and feel like a real, true connection and not feel like this is somebody who's like, oh, I could probably get some nice shit. I just gotta date this guy for a year.

• 1:56:07Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:56:07Stavros Halkias?

  And I'll get fucking my bills paid off, right?

• 1:56:10Speaker 02

  My birthday's coming up, there's a.

• 1:56:11Stavros Halkias?

  If something is serious, I will do whatever for the people closest to me.

• 1:56:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:56:14Stavros Halkias?

  But in two months.

• 1:56:17Speaker 02

  Well, cause I think, what did that guy think? If it were, I was the guy, I would think, oh, she'll think this is weird. Even if I wanted to do it, I might not do it just because I go, oh, it's too much, too soon. Let me, let me.

• 1:56:28Stavros Halkias?

  Unless you're the type of rich where three, the difference between $30 and $30,000 is nothing.

• 1:56:36Speaker 02

  Yes, right.

• 1:56:36Stavros Halkias?

  Buying a computer like it's a coffee is weird to me.

• 1:56:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:56:40Stavros Halkias?

  So I, I see why she's a little weirded out because yeah, I would, I think it's possible for a woman to be like, whoa, what the fu, this is kind of fucking too fast. So.

• 1:56:50Speaker 02

  Well, all she has to do now is. Uh, you know, not, not see him for a while after, after.

• 1:56:57Stavros Halkias?

  At day sixteen, say you wanna break up.

• 1:56:59Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes. And then watch his mind explode. Then you'll know what, what you're dealing with. Cause he might be controlling, like it could be a lot of different things.

• 1:57:09Stavros Halkias?

  My hunch is the like, this is just.

• 1:57:12Speaker 02

  He wants to hook her in.

• 1:57:14Stavros Halkias?

  Putting a down payment on the next, this is preparing for the first real argument.

• 1:57:18Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:57:19Stavros Halkias?

  This is like, oh, you didn't have a problem when I bought you a fucking MacBook, you fucking slut. You know, that, that's what I'd be worried about. And again, we don't know this guy.

• 1:57:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:57:27Stavros Halkias?

  He could just be a nice guy who actually is head over heels with it for this woman. And they're, so I'm saying like.

• 1:57:33Speaker 02

  Right. And it could be a story, you know, and they're like, uh, you know, 12th wedding anniversary. Like, you bought me a computer. I was like, this guy's weird.

• 1:57:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 1:57:41Speaker 02

  But it is really, you have to figure out the guy.

• 1:57:44Stavros Halkias?

  You have to figure out the guy. And, and I do think this is a little weird. It is a little early. It does put you in a position to have to think things, even at five or six months, you have a clearer vision of who this person is.

• 1:57:56Speaker 02

  The fact that he said, tell me at day fifteen.

• 1:57:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's pretty funny.

• 1:57:59Speaker 02

  That's a controlling, right?

• 1:58:01Stavros Halkias?

  I see, I read that as he actually doesn't have money like that. And he's like, hey, if, uh, you know, but if this gesture isn't landed the way I want, I really, really could use the three grand, you know?

• 1:58:14Speaker 02

  Right. But then that suggests to me, that whole thing suggests that he's not as confident and like.

• 1:58:22Stavros Halkias?

  I agree. You cannot tell her to give you the, the laptop back. If you make this move.

• 1:58:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:58:28Stavros Halkias?

  You asking for the return.

• 1:58:31Speaker 02

  Take it, leave it, give it to your friends. I don't care. You know, whatever you need to do with it, do with it.

• 1:58:36Stavros Halkias?

  Because now, now she does have to think about the financial ramifications.

• 1:58:40Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:58:41Stavros Halkias?

  Now it's not a gift like any other gift. Now you know, oh, if I don't use this to its full, now I'm costing him. So.

• 1:58:48Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:58:49Stavros Halkias?

  And again, this guy might just be a pragmatic person who, who again, might be.

• 1:58:53Speaker 02

  Oh, by the way, yeah.

• 1:58:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And it's like, but, and he might really mean it. Like, hey, if this was weird to you and you don't want this. If you're gonna give it back, just give it back so I can get my money back. And that is reasonable, but, but again, anytime you do these weird kinda gray area things where you're like, what's going on here?

• 1:59:10Speaker 02

  There's something not quite right about his thinking.

• 1:59:13Stavros Halkias?

  There is something off either way. Even if his intentions are pure.

• 1:59:17Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:59:17Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, oh, you're-

• 1:59:18Speaker 02

  He should've thought that it was too soon. He should've known that.

• 1:59:21Stavros Halkias?

  He should've offered a, a, a less sort of economically stressful way to support her in your job.

• 1:59:28Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 1:59:28Stavros Halkias?

  Get her breakfast, you know, get her fucking, you know, get her fucking, you know, whatever, hire a cleaner for the week or her first week.

• 1:59:35Speaker 02

  That's weird.

• 1:59:36Stavros Halkias?

  Or whatever, just some, I just mean like, just like buy her a fucking, buy her a bag, buy her a fucking work bag. Get her like, or get her, I was trying to think of something pragmatic that's not flowers, that's like, oh, you're busy at work, you're late night at work, I'll pick up your dry clean. Support her in different ways that me, that show you're thoughtful, as opposed to-

• 1:59:56Speaker 02

  Like-

• 1:59:56Stavros Halkias?

  Dropping $3,000 when-

• 1:59:58Speaker 02

  That you don't quite have.

• 1:59:59Stavros Halkias?

  That you don't exactly have. That I think is a, but, if you, if, I assume by the time this girl's called in, the, the episode is out, we're well past the 15 days.

• 2:00:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:00:09Stavros Halkias?

  So all you can do at this point is, you've accepted the gift, it seems like.

• 2:00:13Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:00:14Stavros Halkias?

  Just don't let it affect your relationship as much as possible. And the second this motherfucker, if you get in a, in a fight, and he throws the laptop in your face, you give the laptop back and you get out of this person's life. That's, that's how I would handle it.

• 2:00:29Speaker 02

  I would say exactly the same thing, except keep the laptop.

• 2:00:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. And that's, that's the duplicitous female mind.

• 2:00:35Speaker 02

  I know.

• 2:00:40Speaker 02

  You can't, you can't give it back. All your stuff is on it.

• 2:00:47Stavros Halkias?

  You work off an external hard drive for the next couple months.

• 2:00:52Speaker 02

  In case.

• 2:00:54Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, I think that's, I think that's our advice. Um, alright.

• 2:00:57Speaker 02

  But he could, but he, like, even though there's something wrong with his thinking, it's like, he still could be a great guy that just

• 2:01:02Stavros Halkias?

  Still could be a great guy.

• 2:01:03Speaker 02

  Didn't quite know.

• 2:01:04Stavros Halkias?

  And that's why I'm saying, like, you've, at this point, you've accepted it.

• 2:01:07Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:01:07Stavros Halkias?

  You've made your bed.

• 2:01:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:01:08Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, probably what I would do, I mean, who's to say, is like, this is very thoughtful, it's very sweet. I don't feel comfortable accepting this level of gift. It doesn't mean I'm not interested in you, it's just like, I just think it's too much.

• 2:01:20Speaker 02

  Put pause on this for a bit, yeah.

• 2:01:22Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I appreciate it, but I'm okay, whatever. You're like, I think that's, you know, and maybe the relationship survives that, maybe it doesn't. But, but either way, you didn't do that, you accepted it, that's fine. And I think, again, totally fine. That's why you just try and have as normal a relationship as possible. He's decided this is the kind of gift he wants to give you.

• 2:01:40Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:01:40Stavros Halkias?

  Great.

• 2:01:41Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:01:41Stavros Halkias?

  Just be normal. Don't let, don't be weird about it. And if he starts being weird about it, you know, I think that's where you have to draw the line because that's, that's just step one of manipulate, trying to earn, trying to buy control of you.

• 2:01:55Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:01:55Stavros Halkias?

  Is, is like a laptop.

• 2:01:57Speaker 02

  She should definitely give him anal, right? I mean.

• 2:01:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, of course, that goes without saying.

• 2:02:00Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 2:02:01Stavros Halkias?

  Let him cheat.

• 2:02:01Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 2:02:02Stavros Halkias?

  Basically, I have a, I have a, I have a formula that has, that's sort of like, it's kind of like Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

• 2:02:07Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:02:08Stavros Halkias?

  When you spend enough money on women, it's like, get out of cheating free. Anal, let me, let me, kiss your friend while I jack off in the room.

• 2:02:18Stavros Halkias?

  You know, there's different tokens.

• 2:02:19Speaker 02

  Wait, is that a thing? I would do it.

• 2:02:21Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just, yeah.

• 2:02:22Speaker 02

  I gotta, I gotta suggest that one.

• 2:02:24Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just thinking about different stuff that's kind of cool. I would love to see a girl fucker, and you know, obviously, let me jump in is the top one, but, uh, that's neither here nor there. You don't have to.

• 2:02:33Speaker 02

  No breeding kink, right?

• 2:02:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:02:36Speaker 02

  It's so funny, I never heard that one.

• 2:02:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that's, that people say they have a breeding kink and it's like, you're describing the most natural form of sex.

• 2:02:45Speaker 02

  It's in the Bible.

• 2:02:47Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, uh, good luck, sister. Bonnie, thank you so much, this was so fun.

• 2:02:52Speaker 02

  Thank you for having me, it was so fun.

• 2:02:53Stavros Halkias?

  That's gonna do it for us, folks. Uh, go see Bonnie, uh, follow her, you know, the.

• 2:02:58Speaker 02

  My Instagram, get on my Instagram.

• 2:03:00Stavros Halkias?

  Get on the IG.

• 2:03:01Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 2:03:02Stavros Halkias?

  Follow Bonnie, and we'll talk to you guys next time. Bye, bye.

• 2:03:04Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 2:03:17Stavros Halkias?

  Having lots of choices sounds like it would be great. Who doesn't want more flavors of ice cream? It turns out, the answer is us. Too many choices can make us anxious, overwhelmed. I'm Shankar Vedantam, host of the Hidden Brain Podcast and YouTube channel. Each week, Hidden Brain brings you fascinating, science-backed insights about human behavior. So the next time you have to choose, choose Hidden Brain on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or hiddenbrain.org. Imagine relying on a dozen different software programs to run your business, none of which are connected. Some say Odoo is like a magic beanstalk, scaling with you while being magically affordable. And some say Odoo's programs for manufacturing, accounting, and more are like building blocks

• 2:04:02Stavros Halkias?

  for creating a custom software suite. But I say Odoo is all of it. Fertilizer, magic beanstalk, building blocks. For business, efficient software that can handle everything for every business needs. Sign up today at Odoo.com. That's O-D-O-O dot com.