Bonus #179 - Usama Siddiquee [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Usama Siddiquee joins the pod to discuss how the Stavvy's World theme song is way too Greek, other racist music, his atheist dad trolling Muslims after he departed from Islam, Italy sucking at war, Greek names, how not getting laid in high school with your boys is a vibe, and much more. Usama and Stav help callers including a woman who discovered a shocking family secret about her cousin, and a young professional whose annoying awkward older coworker is getting on his nerves. See Usama Siddiquee live and follow him on social media: https://www.usamastandsup.com/ https://www.instagram.com/usamastandsup/ https://www.youtube.com/@UsamaStandsUp https://www.tiktok.com/@usamastandsup ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Football season is here and the fantasy footballers are back to help you dominate your league. And this season, we're bringing you five episodes every week. That's more starts, more sits, more waiver wire wins and more trades. From draft day all the way to your fantasy championship. We've got the rankings, the matchups, the news and the advice you need to win. The Fantasy Footballers Podcast, five episodes a week all season long. Watch on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:01Speaker 02

  I'd like your thoughts on a moral dilemma involving a family secret that's been in the family for a couple of decades now. Um, I'm in my thirties for context, but when I was around 18, I was drinking with my mom and she decided to let me in on a fucked up secret about my little cousin. Uh, my mom told me that my cousin's biological dad died in an accident when he was an infant, like like three. And apparently this dude had quite a bit of money and had left a trust fund to my cousin. Well, my aunt, she made the decision not to tell my cousin that the dad he's known his

• 1:44Speaker 02

  whole life isn't his real dad and that his bio dad died and left him this huge sum of money. And according to my mom, almost everyone in the family knows the secret and my aunt's been known to threaten anyone with disowning them if they decide to tell my cousin the truth.

• 2:01Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  At the time I was livid for a, my mom telling me the fucking secret.

• 2:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's fucked up on your mom's part.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  And telling me that I can't tell my cousin the truth.

• 2:12Stavros Halkias?

  But also, wait a second, a mom that gets drunk with her 18 year old?

• 2:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:16Stavros Halkias?

  Had a problem with boundaries. That's shocking.

• 2:21Speaker 04

  I'm blown away that the secret was revealed that late, you know, if this is like a drinking vibe.

• 2:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:25Speaker 04

  How'd that not come up earlier?

• 2:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:27Speaker 04

  You know what I'm saying?

• 2:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's, I mean, why you decide to tell your kid, this is crazy, but let's, let's let her finish, elders.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  And I don't know, I was young and my mom begged me not to tell him, so I didn't. And now all of this time has passed and I'm getting the urge to tell him again. Um, I personally feel that he deserves to know. I would want to know.

• 2:47Speaker 04

  To get the money.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  Like a medical condition. It's important to know your family history, but um, I don't know. Uh, if I tell him, I'd have to tell him that his real dad is dead, that his whole family is known for years.

• 3:02Speaker 04

  God damn.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  And on top of all that, my aunt decided to use the trust fund for the whole family and the money is gone.

• 3:10Speaker 04

  Oh, the final, the final bitch.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  Thank you, love you.

• 3:16Speaker 04

  Sorry, sorry. What?

• 3:18Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 3:19Speaker 04

  No.

• 3:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 3:23Speaker 04

  Dude. Oh, what, whoa.

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's actually fucking insane.

• 3:27Speaker 04

  Use the money for what though? Like.

• 3:29Speaker 05

  She said use the trust fund for the whole family. I don't know exactly what that means.

• 3:34Speaker 04

  Like, did she get a house? Maybe the house?

• 3:36Stavros Halkias?

  Does the kid get anything?

• 3:38Speaker 04

  So she, so she took the, the money from the guy. How'd she even access it though? If it wasn't hers?

• 3:44Stavros Halkias?

  I guess.

• 3:45Speaker 05

  If the kid was young, probably just guardianship shit.

• 3:48Speaker 04

  And you, you, that's illegal, isn't it?

• 3:49Stavros Halkias?

  Who knows? I mean, who also knows what this guy, I mean, who even knows how this set was set up?

• 3:54Speaker 04

  Right.

• 3:55Stavros Halkias?

  Did they, I mean, the guy died in an accident, so it's not like he was planning to fucking die, you know? But this is fucking insane.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  That's wild, dude. She's bad. She's a bad lady.

• 4:04Stavros Halkias?

  How old is the kid? How old's the, did she say how old the cousin is?

• 4:07Speaker 04

  Thirties. Well, she's in thirties.

• 4:10Stavros Halkias?

  She's in her, you alright buddy?

• 4:12Speaker 05

  She didn't specify, but.

• 4:14Speaker 04

  He's the funniest podcast producer of all time. He's like, it's like Amelia Bedelia, but for podcast.

• 4:19Stavros Halkias?

  I'll just fucking press the button eight times.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  Never seen a man.

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  Here's the crazy thing, every episode, he fucks up in a new way. It's like, there's only so many ways to fuck up. Like, I've never seen that eight button press in my life.

• 4:33Speaker 04

  I've never seen a guy less in tune with his instruments.

• 4:37Stavros Halkias?

  What? It's actually fascinating how, how he's able to do this.

• 4:41Speaker 05

  It is this device.

• 4:42Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, alright.

• 4:44Speaker 05

  That's the device. There's lag in the, in the feedback.

• 4:47Stavros Halkias?

  Do you want something new? What do we gotta do to up? Do we need to upgrade?

• 4:50Speaker 05

  I gotta do some research.

• 4:51Stavros Halkias?

  Do we need to upgrade at the new, at the new place?

• 4:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, for sure.

• 4:54Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, alright, anyway. So, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm very confused here because

• 5:01Stavros Halkias?

  I was thinking originally that this is a trust fund thing. When the kid's 18, they find out, hey, you're, we didn't want this to get in the way with your dad because this is your dad. This guy loves you, he raised you like a son. And he loves you like a son and you should think of him as your dad. But, things are, you know, it was a little complicated. We never, didn't know how to bring it up. We also didn't want you for this money to fuck you up. We didn't want you to be like a weird kid who always knew at the end of the day, when he turned 18, he had 3 million bucks waiting for him.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  I can see that too.

• 5:35Stavros Halkias?

  To me, that is a little like, hey, it's fucked up. Your mom let you in on this, but just mind your business until the kid's 18.

• 5:42Speaker 04

  Right.

• 5:43Stavros Halkias?

  But, now it seems like this money's gone and no one's planning to tell this person?

• 5:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:50Stavros Halkias?

  That has not, here's the thing, it's one thing for your dad to not be who your dad is. I, I'm on the record as thinking like, a lot of this is nurture more than nature. Like, I've had, we've had arguments on this podcast. I, I think a lot of times, it's like, look, I think who raised you is your dad. More than anything, right? And obviously biology plays a part, but to me, that's actually, that's weird. But I also could see it. What, you're bearing the lead. This is not, your aunt is hiding your kid, their, your cousin's parentage. This is, your aunt stole from her fucking son.

• 6:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:24Stavros Halkias?

  And this is a fucking crime. And in my opinion. Unless, look, if there's something where she's like, I'm gonna tell him when he turns X, like, if this kid, if, if whatever, the ages are different, and this is her little cousin, and her mom told her when she was 18, but I don't know, but if this person is an adult, who no one is planning on telling.

• 6:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 6:45Stavros Halkias?

  I think you gotta tell him. I think, I think, I think you gotta tell him, and I think, and then the aunt is threatening to disown you, it's like, who cares?

• 6:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, the aunt is definitely the villain of the story.

• 6:57Stavros Halkias?

  She's a piece of shit, she stole from her kids, she's straight, and listen, if you want, like, I don't know, maybe I'm, I don't know the details, maybe it's the kind of thing where there's financial instability, they needed to dip into it, whatever, but it's like, the money's gone, this kid's biological dad, you have, and look, it's also kind of disrespectful of this person's memory.

• 7:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:16Stavros Halkias?

  Who like, he never got to meet his kid, he doesn't even get to know, and he left all this money for his kid.

• 7:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:22Stavros Halkias?

  You stole it, and you're not even telling him this person existed? I think it's insanely fucked up for her.

• 7:28Speaker 04

  It's also a point of a return, right? Like, you, there's too many infractions now.

• 7:31Stavros Halkias?

  For her, yes.

• 7:32Speaker 04

  To be like, hey, bring it up.

• 7:34Stavros Halkias?

  For her, yes, she would love for this to stay buried forever. But I think, and look, I'm normally a key, like, I am normally a mind your own business guy, in a lot of ways. Especially if you love, which I assume you're pretty close to your cousin, you care about him, whatever, especially if there's somebody who matters to you, this is a huge injustice. And I think that he deserves to know. And I think you should tell, and I think you need to blow this shit the fuck up. Now, you need to understand that you would, many people in your family will see you as the villain, even though it's not your fault, right? Many, you know what I mean?

• 8:08Speaker 04

  Right.

• 8:08Stavros Halkias?

  Like, many people will see that, and you have to be ready for that, you have to be ready to deal with the fallout.

• 8:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:14Stavros Halkias?

  But I also think, you kind of, in my, I, I would say in my, in your position, I think I could not live with that secret. If no one is planning to ever tell him, and especially the money being gone.

• 8:25Speaker 04

  I, I think you owe it to your cousin.

• 8:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:27Speaker 04

  To tell him, actually. It's actually like a directive.

• 8:29Stavros Halkias?

  This is fucking insane, like, I think you gotta tell him. I mean.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  And then buy him some lunch, too, I feel like.

• 8:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, give him a little cash.

• 8:36Speaker 04

  Give him a little, something, something.

• 8:37Stavros Halkias?

  This guy didn't even.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  Because this guy lost how many? I mean, I want to know, I want to know the number too.

• 8:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, look, who knows? But I, and look, to play devil's advocate, to, to argue against this, is there a let sleeping dogs lie? Like, this person has no idea what he lost, right? And you would be potentially letting him know some, you actually, you'd be really fucking up his whole world. Because you'd be letting him know.

• 9:03Speaker 04

  For the dad thing.

• 9:04Stavros Halkias?

  The dad thing's a whole, its own thing.

• 9:06Speaker 04

  We're like glazing over that.

• 9:07Stavros Halkias?

  But now you're letting him know that his mom stole from him?

• 9:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:11Stavros Halkias?

  What if somebody told you right now, your mom took two, even if it's like tw- even if it's like 25 grand?

• 9:18Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 9:18Stavros Halkias?

  But let's say it's like.

• 9:19Speaker 04

  That's funny because she already has taken that.

• 9:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

• 9:23Speaker 04

  Give me a brown mom. Yeah, that's the entry level for the house.

• 9:27Stavros Halkias?

  But I'm just saying, like, like, if somebody right now told you, like, hey, um, your mom stole a million dollars. I honestly think it would fuck me up so much more.

• 9:37Speaker 04

  Also, your dad's not your dad.

• 9:38Stavros Halkias?

  It would fuck me up so much more to hear my mom stole from me, that amount of money? And then she crafted a lie that included hiding my dad?

• 9:45Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 9:46Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's not just your dad's not your dad, it's your mom didn't tell you your dad was your dad to steal from you.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  No, no, for sure. Also, another point of this is that you, if your mom is a hoe, right?

• 9:56Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 9:57Speaker 04

  And you don't think your mom's a hoe, that is a deep core tenet of your philosophy when you're growing up. My mom's a good mom.

• 10:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  She's not a hoe. A lot of moms had hoe moms and they, they started there. So they can deal with the hoe mom.

• 10:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 10:09Speaker 04

  If you had not a hoe mom, and then you have to find out at 35, you had a hoe mom?

• 10:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's tough.

• 10:13Speaker 04

  That breaks up a lot of shit.

• 10:15Stavros Halkias?

  That fucks up your whole life.

• 10:16Speaker 04

  Whole concept, like, women calibration. What? Because a lot of times you compare women to your mom, like, she's a hoe. That's not much, but your, your mom is the center. Now your mom's the hoe. Where's your, where's your compass now?

• 10:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, your compass is all fucked up.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  So that, that's what I'm thinking about too.

• 10:30Stavros Halkias?

  And so I think in situations like this, I tend to go. Don't stir the pot until something becomes really egregious.

• 10:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:40Stavros Halkias?

  And to me, the fact that there's no plan to ever tell them is that's egregious.

• 10:45Speaker 04

  No letter?

• 10:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's egregious.

• 10:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:47Stavros Halkias?

  But the, the combination, cause it takes what could, again, it could have been an innocent if misguided attempt, cause people now say the literature is you want to tell kids as early as possible if they're adopted or whatever.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure, sure.

• 11:01Stavros Halkias?

  You could argue that if they didn't steal the money, this is a misguided attempt to like, make sure this kid grows up normal, right? Before letting him know about the money. But once you've put money is stolen, this becomes a really crazy infraction against your child. And I think it rises to the level where I would have a moral problem keeping this secret.

• 11:21Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 11:22Stavros Halkias?

  I really would. This is just twofold, too hard.

• 11:24Speaker 04

  I agree. Also, are you reading a lot of literature about this?

• 11:28Stavros Halkias?

  I just mean like, I've talked, I know, it's funny to say that.

• 11:31Speaker 04

  Well, you know, the prevailing voices that might be discovered is like locked in.

• 11:34Stavros Halkias?

  I weirdly have been dealing, I really have been dealing with something about adopt, like a project that deals with adoption. And so I weirdly have, have like learned a little.

• 11:42Speaker 04

  Like it was like, of course, as a man who is engaged in this kind of thing.

• 11:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Well, I'm, you know, this, this program, we give advice. I'm sort of an expert and I'm not an expert. Do not listen to anything I say legally. You cannot fucking sue me for anything. Fuck you, fuck you, suck my dick, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

• 11:57Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, that's what I think. Elders, you seem like you have thoughts bubbling up over there.

• 12:01Speaker 05

  I honestly don't really.

• 12:03Stavros Halkias?

  You don't?

• 12:04Speaker 05

  No.

• 12:04Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, great.

• 12:05Speaker 05

  Besides that, yeah, it's pretty fucked up. They're lying to this kid. I don't even know what I would do. That is like, uh, such a big responsibility to know that, especially to like unload that on an 18 year old. And, and, and that can be like so traumatic for an 18 year old too, where it's like.

• 12:22Stavros Halkias?

  Is he, do we know how old he is though?

• 12:24Speaker 05

  I, I mean, I mean her, like her finding this out at 18 and mom telling her. Like if someone told me that's an 18, I'd be like, whoa, that's pretty juicy.

• 12:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, at 18, it's not, I'm not faulting her for not acting on it.

• 12:36Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 12:36Stavros Halkias?

  I'm saying I get why this is eating her alive.

• 12:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:40Stavros Halkias?

  And I think even though the time has passed, or not passed, but it's like, it's been a while, I think it's like.

• 12:48Speaker 04

  Tell them.

• 12:48Stavros Halkias?

  I would like to know that if this were me, I would want to know this information.

• 12:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:54Stavros Halkias?

  I think this is, this is just such a crazy betrayal.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  It's very sad, Loki. At the core of it, it's very sad.

• 13:00Stavros Halkias?

  And listen, also, like, I, you also, let's give some grace to this woman who, like, the person she was having a kid with died.

• 13:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:07Stavros Halkias?

  The kid's a month old, right? She doesn't know what the fuck, and I get making, again.

• 13:11Speaker 05

  That's the other thing. She said he was three when the dad died, which is kinda crazy.

• 13:18Stavros Halkias?

  He wasn't three. She said an infant, and then she said three, which is wrong in two ways. An infant's not three, that's a toddler. I mean, I don't know, she might be, either way.

• 13:26Speaker 05

  She said, I think, like, three, whatever.

• 13:27Stavros Halkias?

  The kid was young enough that the lie worked on him.

• 13:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:31Stavros Halkias?

  I get, again, to put some grace to this woman, she went through something insanely traumatic.

• 13:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:35Stavros Halkias?

  Right? Who she was with died, she's scrambling.

• 13:39Speaker 04

  Also, you know, raising a kid, to talk high and mighty while someone's raising a kid alone.

• 13:45Stavros Halkias?

  But she wasn't alone, it was with somebody else.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  Right, but how, well, there's a period between.

• 13:48Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  Right?

• 13:49Stavros Halkias?

  And, and listen, maybe if it was like pure emergency that the trust fund was, but something tells me the way she says, used it for the family, I don't, I think it's, feels like she stole her child's money.

• 14:02Speaker 04

  It could have been just for catering and stuff like that.

• 14:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like vacations.

• 14:04Speaker 04

  Vacations and.

• 14:06Stavros Halkias?

  So I don't know, that's.

• 14:07Speaker 04

  I need more information. Also, how close is the family? If the family sucks in general, then you don't owe them anything? If y'all are meeting together every week, it's a different thing. Maybe y'all are tight knit.

• 14:15Stavros Halkias?

  Even then, that's, is that even worse?

• 14:18Speaker 04

  I mean, it wouldn't change how I see you, what you do.

• 14:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:21Speaker 04

  It will be different how your life changes, once you do do it, which I hope you do.

• 14:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:25Speaker 04

  Tell this man.

• 14:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Speaker 04

  Uh, about this. Oh my god.

• 14:28Stavros Halkias?

  And I think you need to do like a, I would also do like a kind of rallying the troops thing first, and be like, talk to your mom about it, be like.

• 14:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:36Stavros Halkias?

  This is insanely fucked up.

• 14:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:37Stavros Halkias?

  We should do something about this, or I don't know.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  I wonder how the finances of the, of the guy is, you know? If he's poor, it's gonna hurt way more.

• 14:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's interesting. And also, it's like, when she says for the family, did she use it to pay the kids' college? Did she put, did she do it for the kids?

• 14:52Speaker 04

  What a godfather terminology, you know?

• 14:54Stavros Halkias?

  We kinda need to know.

• 14:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, for the family is such a weird way to describe it.

• 14:58Stavros Halkias?

  And to me, that, what that means is that it started for like emergencies.

• 15:03Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 15:04Stavros Halkias?

  Then once you get.

• 15:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, come on.

• 15:05Stavros Halkias?

  Once you get addicted to that little extra money, it's like, we've all. I, in college, I remember my roommate got in a car accident and had Percocet.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 15:13Stavros Halkias?

  And, you know. I'd say, I'd say, it took him six months, he didn't have any.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:18Stavros Halkias?

  I took one. And then I looked around, he didn't notice. And then we're fucking leaving and it's, I'm cleaning out the fucking, I'm cleaning out the like medicine cabinet. I'm like, oh, he won't notice. There was one pill left.

• 15:30Speaker 04

  Literally.

• 15:31Stavros Halkias?

  And so I know what it's like to steal a little for a.

• 15:34Speaker 04

  Buddy, my dad.

• 15:35Stavros Halkias?

  And the first time I did it was because I actually got hurt.

• 15:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:38Stavros Halkias?

  I had like tooth surgery and I asked them for pain pills and they wouldn't get it. And it starts for real reasons. And I'm like, wouldn't it be awesome to take three of these? And, and use my meal plan for Chinese food? And that's what I, you know what I mean? It starts good and then it becomes.

• 15:52Speaker 04

  Literally my dad coming home from hospital, you know, heavy drugs, OxyContin, you know, all the shit. And I'm just like, I'm not even an addict by any means of any kind, but I'm like, okay, it's here.

• 16:01Stavros Halkias?

  Let's take some, yeah.

• 16:02Speaker 04

  I had a, I had a train ride back from DC. Take a little, don't sleep.

• 16:05Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds awesome.

• 16:06Speaker 04

  Ride it out. Woo. I was a Molly kid for a long time. So get back to those days for a little bit.

• 16:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. So anyway, I think you gotta tell them personally, I think we, we really did dive into this because it was very meaty, but that's, that's our, that's our.

• 16:19Speaker 04

  And I'm just so sorry. I'm so sorry. That's going, that's going through your, that's really sorry. Heart goes out for real. That's crazy.

• 16:24Stavros Halkias?

  And your mom is a dumbass for telling you too.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 16:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's on her in a major way.

• 16:30Speaker 04

  What, what, her voice and what the story she told was so great. Like came in so cute. First time listener. Anyway, here's the fucking bombshell.

• 16:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. It's about, you dropped the bomb on us and I respect that. That's some heavy, that's some meaty.

• 16:41Speaker 04

  That's a good fan right there.

• 16:50Speaker 06

  Having lots of choices sounds like it would be great. Who doesn't want more flavors of ice cream? It turns out the answer is us. Too many choices can make us anxious, overwhelmed. I'm Shankar Vedantam, host of the Hidden Brain Podcast and YouTube channel. Each week, Hidden Brain brings you fascinating, science-backed insights about human behavior. So the next time you have to choose, choose Hidden Brain on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or hiddenbrain.org.

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