1030. Q&AF: Fighting The "Broke Mentality", Does Success Change Treatment & Social Media Success Pressure

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to stop thinking like you're broke even after making good money, how to handle people treating you differently after losing weight and finding success, and how to stay focused on your goals when social media distorts the idea of "success".

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and you're listening to the show for the realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJ, tell them how they can submit their questions. Guys, you can email these questions in to [email protected]. You can also click the link in the description below and submit them there, or just drop them in the comments section of the Q and A F videos on the tube. Now, if this is your first time listening, you can ask the questions about anything. It can be about what's going on in the world, but typically they're about personal development, how to win, how to get better, how to build your business. For those of you who don't know,

• 0:56Andy Frisella?

  I'm an entrepreneur. I'm not just a podcaster or a YouTuber, right? I build shit. And I'm here to help you do the same. So, ask me the questions, I give you the answers. But, we have shows within the show. It's not always this format. Tomorrow, you're gonna hear this format called CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. What we do is we put topics on the screen, the hot topics of the day. We talk about them, we speculate them, we make fun of them, and then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're gonna have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have what's called 75 Hard Versus. That is where someone who has completed the 75 Hard program and transformed their lives comes on the show and talks about how they were before and how they are now. If you're

• 1:39Andy Frisella?

  unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which you can get for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed.

• 1:52Andy Frisella?

  If you're unfamiliar with Live Hard, it is the world's most famous mental transformation program in history. Okay, there's nothing like it. There is nothing ever like it, and there will be nothing like it. It has transformed more lives than literally any other program ever. And it's free at episode 208 on the audio feed only. There's also a book at andy frisella.com, which you can buy. It is not free. It's called The Book on Mental Toughness. It has the entire Live Hard program at a much greater depth. If you're someone that likes to know the ins and outs, and you know, the nuts and bolts, it's a great book for you. But again, you can get the whole thing for free at episode 208 on the audio feed.

• 2:34Andy Frisella?

  Now, there is something about this show that is quite different than every other show out there. We are the biggest show in the world that does not run ads. The reason we don't run ads is because I don't want people to tell me what I can and can't say. So in exchange for that, we ask very simply, one thing. If you listen to the show and it brings you value, it makes you laugh, it makes you think, it teaches you something, if you think it's good, and it wasn't a waste of time, all we ask is that you share the show. Okay, we can't grow the show if you don't share it. So don't be a hoe.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Share the show.

• 3:11Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:12Andy Frisella?

  What's up?

• 3:12Speaker 01

  What's going on, doc?

• 3:13Andy Frisella?

  Nothing, man.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  It is Memorial Day, a little Memorial Day special for people out there. This is being released, obviously.

• 3:19Andy Frisella?

  Yep.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Hell, yeah, man. It's a beautiful day.

• 3:22Andy Frisella?

  Sure is.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 3:24Andy Frisella?

  Sure is a beautiful day on the Friday. We're recording this for Monday.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Well, dude, it's cold outside.

• 3:29Andy Frisella?

  Well, we're betting it's gonna be beautiful while they're listening.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  We are betting.

• 3:32Andy Frisella?

  Wherever it is.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  It's gonna be beautiful.

• 3:33Andy Frisella?

  You're beautiful.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know about the person. That's right.

• 3:37Andy Frisella?

  Not you.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 3:38Andy Frisella?

  DJ, but the rest of them.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Oh, no, I'm beautiful, inside and out.

• 3:41Andy Frisella?

  Big, black, and beautiful.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  That's right. I was gonna, I was gonna, I was gonna fuck with you, and you're like, something about the show is a little different. I'm like, oh, we're racist. No, that's for tomorrow.

• 3:50Andy Frisella?

  Half of us, half of us are, but it's not the half you think.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  That's right. Uh, no, man. It's a beautiful day, guys. It's a great day to get better on this beautiful Memorial Day.

• 4:00Andy Frisella?

  Amen. That's what Memorial Day is about.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, so maybe.

• 4:03Andy Frisella?

  We recognize the men and women who have sacrificed for us to have the opportunity to get better. And when we do not take advantage of that opportunity, we're actually violating the covenant and the agreement and the duty that Memorial Day is all about.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 4:19Andy Frisella?

  So while you relax today and have a hamburger or a hot dog or whatever it is that you do, remember that your opportunity to get better came with a very serious price for a lot of people. And that's something that we really believe in on this show every day, not just on days like today.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  100% dude.

• 4:40Andy Frisella?

  So keep that in mind.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, 100%. So, um, let's get better.

• 4:45Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, let's do it.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Let's get better, guys. Andy, I got three good ones for you. Question number one. Andy, I am making more money now than I ever thought I would.

• 4:57Andy Frisella?

  Uh, and then your fucking goals are too small. Start there.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. And, and it's weird because I still feel broke mentally. I still stress buying things. I still panic checking my bank account. Uh, still think one bad month is gonna wipe everything out. Does that ever go away? Um, or do people who grew up without money always carry that fear a little bit?

• 5:18Andy Frisella?

  Why, why do you want that to go away? Why are you so concerned with that going away? You have to understand that that feeling that you have is what is going to secure that you never lose what it is that you're building. Okay, so you have a couple of things here. Number one, if you're already making more money than you ever thought you were gonna make, you need to expand your goals. Okay, cuz I'm assuming, does it say how old they are?

• 5:42Speaker 01

  No.

• 5:42Andy Frisella?

  Okay, I'm assuming you're not old.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:45Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so you need to fucking think way bigger. And whatever your money you're making now, you need to realize it's probably not that much money. Okay, what they tell us in school about what a lot of money is, is not a lot of money. All right, when I was in school, they used to tell us, get your degree and you're gonna make $60,000 a year. And that was considered a lot of money.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're doing good.

• 6:09Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, right.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:10Andy Frisella?

  And back then, okay, uh, yeah, you could, you could live on that. But the reality is, is that that's not a lot of money. Okay, and $100,000.

• 6:23Andy Frisella?

  Or $200,000 or $300,000 when you're making 50, it sounds like a lot until you start making it and you realize that you're still feel broke. Okay. So whatever it is that you're wanting or whatever you're making now, you need to take that in like 20 times that. Okay. Because that's, you have to understand, your money is consistently being devalued over the course of time through inflation, uh, through, you know, the printing of more money. There's all kinds of things that happen naturally that make it so that whatever you make now, when you're 50, it doesn't equal the same, right? If a guy had a million dollars in the year of 19 fucking 90, and he's, he's got a million dollars now, that million dollars is different

• 7:05Andy Frisella?

  today than it was then. And you're going to be alive for a long time. So what you think is a lot of money now is not going to be a lot of money in 20, 30 years. You have to understand that. All right. So you need to take that goal, project it out to when you're 50, 60, 70, 80, and what do you want to live? Okay. And that should be the reflection of the monetary goal that you have now. So it needs to be way bigger. Secondly, let me tell you something, dude. That coming from nothing and having that fear of losing it all is a fucking gift. That is a gift. You just don't realize it because it causes you anxiety,

• 7:45Andy Frisella?

  but it doesn't actually cause you anxiety. It causes you to go hard. It causes you to keep working. It causes you to keep building and thinking bigger and bigger and bigger. And that is the greatest insurance that you're going to have against losing what it is that you have. But most of the people that, that win at one point in their life end up losing. Because what happens is, is they get comfortable and they stop pressing the gas down and then everybody else catches up or passes them by. What you're doing right now, if you were to just let off the throttle, is going, it'll go away. Okay. So you have to understand that mentality.

• 8:25Andy Frisella?

  Coming from nothing and being hungry and being scared and being afraid of being broke and having a mentality of fuck dude, I need, that is a gift. That's a gift and you need to remember that and never forget it. A lot of people don't have that. People who come from money will never have that. They never have it. That is a different kind of hunger. That is a different kind of drive and that is the insurance that you're going to have that you won't be broke. So the fact that you actually have that, instead of seeing it like it's something that you want to get rid of, you should say, I'm, I'm grateful to have this because I understand it's going to keep me building and moving. Okay. There is no finish line for entrepreneurs. It doesn't exist. All

• 9:09Andy Frisella?

  right. The closest thing to a finish line for an entrepreneur is building something with enterprise value on the back end, selling it for, you know, millions and millions, maybe billions of dollars, and then being fucking miserable the rest of your life. Because dude, people who are entrepreneur builders, they have to have things to build. Okay. If they don't have things to build and create and become, they're fucking miserable. So this lie that is told about making all this money and then sitting on the beach with your fucking Corona, that's going to make you miserable. Okay. You have to understand you are cut from a different cloth than everybody else. Everybody else is cool sitting around. You're not. You were gifted with a drive that other people don't have, and that's not something that you should be trying to get rid of. You have to understand that.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  Dude, I don't think I've ever heard you explain it like that. That, that's wild. Like, like the very thing you're trying to get rid of, that, that's actually going to be what

• 10:02Andy Frisella?

  Fucking right, bro. Do you, do you think, why do you think I come in here seven fucking days a week? Why do you think I flip out over fucking little bitty things? Okay. Because I'm hyper paranoid about losing because I know what it's like to lose and I've seen other people lose. Okay. So I don't want to fucking lose. So I keep that intent. This is the same reason why when people say shit to me like, congratulations on all the success. I'm like, bro, I'm just fucking starting. Okay. And they're like, yeah, right. They think I'm being falsely humble. They think I'm like, no, dude, you don't understand. That is who the fuck I am. Okay. I am built to fight

• 10:42Andy Frisella?

  that battle. I am built to build. I am built to create. I am built to, to become and I am built to progress down the pipe. And I'm a fucking warrior at it. And if a warrior doesn't have a war, they don't have a purpose. And if you don't have a purpose, you're gonna lose and you're gonna be miserable your entire life. So you have to understand. What you're trying to get rid of is actually a thing that's allowing you to make the more money than you've ever thought you were gonna make.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  You're trying to get rid of it?

• 11:09Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Well, let me ask you this, right? Because, so you're in that spot. How do you, like, how do you try to, like, keep that then? When it's like, obviously for you, like, dude, it's unrealist. You're not gonna lose it all.

• 11:25Andy Frisella?

  I don't know. I've seen people bigger than me lose it all.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But it's just not, it's not like a super real fucking concern.

• 11:31Andy Frisella?

  I don't know. It's real enough for me to be worried about it. If it could ha- just like I talk about all the time, what one man can do, another can do. And what can happen to one man can happen to you. And that's real shit. So there's been people much bigger than me to fucking lost everything, and I'm very aware of that. Okay?

• 11:48Speaker 01

  So it's still is real for you?

• 11:49Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Huh? It's still, it's still, it's still real.

• 11:51Andy Frisella?

  What do you think?

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:52Andy Frisella?

  You've been around me every day for the last six years. You see me fucking off?

• 11:55Speaker 01

  No. No.

• 11:57Andy Frisella?

  Like, bro, why do you think I, why do you think I do all the shit that I do? Like, why do you think I, I, why do you think I live the live hard lifestyle? Like, bro, you know, people think that I'm some sort of fucking, like, smart person. I'm a fucking idiot, okay? I'm just a guy who is smart enough to learn from his mistakes and tough enough to continue fucking move down the pipe. That is it. And I've made every motherfucking mistake in the world. So the reason that I go so hard is because I know what I'm not. And while people may look at the external reality and think, oh, man, he's so smart, he's so gifted. Every motherfucking thing that you see was earned through a mistake or pain or frustration or getting my balls kicked in. And I don't like that, okay?

• 12:42Andy Frisella?

  So I, I don't want those things to happen. So I try to keep my shit together, you know? I keep my fucking, my brain tuned, I keep my body tuned. I, I do the best that I can because, dude, I know that there's other people that are more gifted than me. I'm aware of that, okay? Like, I come from the fucking place that y'all come from. You know, that's why I don't have any sympathy when you say like, oh, I come from here, motherfucker. You don't even understand. The people who do the biggest things in life comes from those places because they learned how to fucking fight when they were young. They learned how to overcome when they were young. The people who win, they had bad childhoods, they had tough stories.

• 13:22Andy Frisella?

  They had things they had to deal with when they were younger and that's what's created the fucking monster that you see them as now. Okay, so the shit that you all tell yourselves about, oh, I come from here, so I can't do that, that's bullshit.

• 13:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:36Andy Frisella?

  A hundred percent, not only is it bullshit, you're failing to acknowledge the gift that you were given to learn how to fight and overcome that other people will never have. So you need to pull your fucking head right out of your ass and understand that if you come from nothing and you don't have anything, you're actually equipped to do much better than the person who was gifted everything.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, 100% dude. Oh man, I love it, man. Let's keep moving, dude. I got question number two for you, bro. Uh, Andy, I lost about 80 pounds over the last two years. Uh, and it completely changed how people treat me.

• 14:14Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I bet it did.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  More respect, more attention, people actually listening when I talk now. Honestly, it messed with my head a little bit, uh, because it made me realize how differently the world responds to you based on how you carry yourself. Does being successful do the same? Does, does, did success ever make you look at people or relationships differently in a way that you were not expecting? Does money do the same thing?

• 14:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Okay, look dude.

• 14:43Andy Frisella?

  There's idealism and then there's realism.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:46Andy Frisella?

  Okay, here's the idealism answer. The only thing that matters is in your heart. All that matters is that you're a good person and that you're nice to people.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 14:55Andy Frisella?

  That's all that matters. That's all that matters. All that matters is that and everybody's the same and everybody's this and everybody's that. That is not true. Is it important to be nice to people? Yes. Does it matter to have strong character? Yes. But how strong is your character if you actually aren't the best that you could be? Okay, how good of a person are you actually if you're not actually trying to put your gifts that were given to you by God into the world? Okay, it's, it's a biblical principle. The parables of the talents, you could fucking read about it, dude. Okay?

• 15:30Andy Frisella?

  You have an obligation to become the best that you you can be. And this idea that you could sit around and waste your life and some morally posture yourself as this good person, that's just not real. It's not true. So the idealist people will say shit like, all that matters is that you're a nice person. No, that matters. That's not all that matters. Okay? And the realist answer is, everybody's going to judge you based upon how you carry yourself, how you treat people, how you look, what kind of money you make, how your success is. These things fucking matter whether you think it's right or wrong. It's just reality. When you walk into a room and you are fit, it sends a message.

• 16:14Andy Frisella?

  It says, I have my shit together. I could control things that other people can't control. I take my life serious. That person automatically gets more respect. That person automatically gets more trust because people know they're not going to fumble the ball on little shit. Okay? So yes, the world treats you massively differently depending on how physically fit you are. Now, when it comes to money, it's the same thing. A lot of that shit comes from, you know, people wanting to get a little piece of it. Okay, they will treat you different. You know, there's a lot of people that will treat you different because they want a little bite of your fucking off your plate. That's not the people I'm talking about. Okay?

• 16:54Andy Frisella?

  To be successful, it takes other people that are successful to recognize that you are somewhat successful and that's where the opportunities come from. Okay? Not, everybody keeps saying, oh, well, your network is your net worth, not if you're a piece of shit.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 17:10Andy Frisella?

  Okay, it doesn't matter how much you pay. It doesn't matter how, what room you're in, or I gotta get in the right room. If you don't have your shit together and you are a big fat motherfucker and you're not doing things in real life, you're still not going to get the opportunities, no matter how hard you try to impress the other people in the room, because they're going to see you for what you are. You're someone that can't fulfill promises, not even to yourself. You're someone who's not detail oriented. You're not serious about taking things serious. People don't trust people like that. Because it's the truth. If you can't keep promises to yourself and you can't hold yourself to a high standard, why would any of these other successful people want to do anything business

• 17:52Andy Frisella?

  wise with you? And that is required to get to certain levels. Okay, so yes, your network is your net worth, sort of, as long as you like fit in with those people. And I don't mean be like those people, don't wear the same clothes. I mean, hold yourself to a high standard. I mean, taking yourself seriously. I mean, living what success is supposed to look like. And then what happens is, is these people up the ladder from you, they will recognize this and they'll say, you know what? I'm worth a billion plus dollars. That guy's only doing, you know, $500,000 a year, but look how fucking much he has his shit together. Let me help this dude. Let me do something

• 18:33Andy Frisella?

  for this guy. Let me work with this guy. Because they recognize the effort that is being put in, not because of what you say, but because of how you look and what you're actually doing. And that is real shit. And that goes for business relationships, that goes for personal relationships, it goes for your friends, it goes for girlfriends, boyfriends, potential mates. Like dude, here's the one thing I can't understand, is like you see all these fucking dudes out here that don't have their shit together, they're overweight, they don't make any money, and somehow they feel entitled to like the most beautiful women that are like the most desired, what the fuck, who the fuck do you think you are, bro? They don't owe you shit. They have assets and they're looking to

• 19:14Andy Frisella?

  have, match with someone who also, and your job as a fucking man is to be a provider and a protector. And if you're a sloppy idiot that plays video games all day and doesn't make any money, doesn't have your shit together, dude, you're not gonna, you're gonna get what you are. And really, that's, that's the bottom line, bro. That's the bottom line. You are going to get.

• 19:37Andy Frisella?

  From the world, what you are. That's it. And you've got to build that first. So, does it matter? Yeah, it's, it doesn't matter a little either. It's like fucking everything, dude. Now, I'm not saying you can't be marginally successful being out of shape. I was.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  Dude, I was about to like.

• 19:57Andy Frisella?

  Okay, when I was, when I was, when I was.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  Most people don't know that, dude. Most people do not know. You, you were.

• 20:01Andy Frisella?

  I was 350 pounds.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  You were a hoss.

• 20:04Andy Frisella?

  When you hear me fucking talk about, when you hear me say, hey, fat fuck, uh, understand, I could say that. Because I know what the fuck it's like. I know what it's like to not go to a pool party for 10 fucking years because I'm embarrassed to take my shirt off. I know what it's like to wear the same outfit every motherfucking day because I thought that it was like fooling everybody into looking that I was slimmer than it was. I know what it's like to hate going shopping for clothes. I know what it's like to tug on my clothes all the time because I'm fucking fat. I, I know what it's like. That's why I know the body positivity movement's all bullshit. And now you all know it's bullshit too, because here's the reality. All those people preaching it two years ago, and I took Ozempic and they've lost 200 pounds. So if they were really fucking happy with who the fuck they are, then why did they lose 200 fucking pounds?

• 20:45Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 20:46Andy Frisella?

  Okay, they're all full of shit. Okay, you could convince yourself all you want. You could say, oh, it's not that bad. It's that, that, that's you negotiating with yourself. That's you telling yourself lies. And that is the exact reason why people who are ahead of the, ahead on the food chain, don't want to work with you. Cause you believe your own lies.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  Oh, that's the worst part. That's the worst part, dude. Most, most people don't know that. I remember, I think we were in California doing that talk. You remember that guy that, that stood up? And, uh.

• 21:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, he fucking stands up and he goes, he goes, he's, he's at least 350, at least.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  At least, yeah, at least.

• 21:24Andy Frisella?

  I would say I'm giving him some fucking credit there.

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:27Andy Frisella?

  He stands up and he's like, yo, man.

• 21:31Andy Frisella?

  I'm, I'm the, you know, I'm just like you, dude. I got the same mentality and this and that.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  I'm killing it, you know?

• 21:36Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, and I looked at him and I'm like.

• 21:39Andy Frisella?

  Okay, there's thousands, and I said this, I said, there's thousands of people in this room. Do you really want me to address that right now?

• 21:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:45Andy Frisella?

  I said, well, you're fucking full of shit. You're fucking 300 and fucking 80 pounds, bro. You ain't nothing like me. You might think you are, but you're fucking not. You might wanna be, but you're fucking not. Because you have not fucking earned it. That is the truth. And people say, well, no one's better than anybody else. That is another fucking lie. Okay, there are people that are better. That's reality, dude. Okay, and we can lie to ourselves and say, oh, you know, and we can argue whether it's right or wrong. But that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about what is it, isn't. And what is, is that people will treat you entirely different based upon your physical appearance, based upon how successful you are, based upon all this other shit. When your mom told you when you were fucking nine years old

• 22:30Andy Frisella?

  that all that matters on the inside, that's a lie. That's a lie. How'd that work out for you, bro? Did all the girls appreciate that? How'd that work out for you? I'm not saying it doesn't matter. I'm saying there's other things that matter too.

• 22:45Speaker 01

  As well, yeah.

• 22:46Andy Frisella?

  So, make no mistake. Being a good person is the fundamental foundation of all of this shit. Cause you could be fit, you could make money, and you could be a shithead and you still won't get ahead. Okay, and that's another common belief that's total bullshit. All these guys at the top, they're all a bunch of fucking blah, blah, blah. That's just lies that broke people say about these people. Okay? The most successful people I know are also the best people I know. That's the truth.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  Like just good people?

• 23:13Andy Frisella?

  They're good people. They do the right thing. You can't have 500, 1,000, 2,000, 10,000 people that wanna follow you or work for you when you're a fucking piece of shit. It won't work. Okay, so yes, your mom was correct. Being a good person is the fundamental fucking foundation for all of it. But there's a lot more that matters than just that. That's not gonna get you where you wanna go. You gotta be the whole package. So, do people treat you different? Fucking A. Way different. It's not even close. It's not even in the same ballpark. It is literally alpha and omega difference. Okay, it's A and Z. It's life and death. It's that much difference. Polar fucking opposite. Okay? And I know because I lived it. Alright, so when you hear me say this shit,

• 23:56Andy Frisella?

  understand, like when I was fat, nobody was fucking wanting to work with me. Nobody was taking me seriously. And I used to get pissed until one day I realized they were right.

• 24:09Andy Frisella?

  And I fixed it.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. And like for context, you were, you were, you were pretty, like you were doing okay, even when you were big though, right? Or to that point, right?

• 24:17Andy Frisella?

  A hundred million dollar business.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 24:20Andy Frisella?

  So I'm just saying, but the rest of my life was fucked up. I wasn't a good leader. I wasn't, I was, dude, like, look, dude.

• 24:29Andy Frisella?

  Whatever it is you're doing right now can only be amplified by those things. And there will come a ceiling that you get to unless you're just absurdly family wealthy. And it doesn't matter. Okay. Like you take a guy like Pritzker, who's the fucking, the governor of Illinois. Okay.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  That's blood money, dog.

• 24:48Andy Frisella?

  He's 400 pounds. Okay. I think he's lost a little weight, which I give him credit for. I'm not a political fan of him at all. You know, I think he has lost a little bit of weight. Good for him. But he could not have gotten that position unless he would have had that family backing. It's not based around who he actually is. It's based around what he brings to the table. And he brings enough leverage to the table monetarily that it got him, it got him pretty far. But guess what? That ain't you. It ain't ever gonna be you. So we can argue about what's right or wrong, or what is or isn't, or we can just address the reality and the bottom line of what it's gonna take for you. What it's gonna take for you, just like what it's taken for me, is to take every motherfucking detail seriously.

• 25:33Andy Frisella?

  Every single one. You are not good enough to beat these other people at half your game. You're just not. I'm fucking not, and I'll beat the fuck out of you. Okay? In business. You get what I'm saying?

• 25:44Speaker 01

  No, that's real.

• 25:44Andy Frisella?

  So.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, it's, it's, it's like, dude, it's a thing that like, nobody really just wants to admit it to you. Like, I'm speaking to the person listening, like you treat people differently. You know you do. You know you do. Just from how they look, how they, like, you treat them differently. But nobody wants to admit, right? Like, nobody wants to admit that, because it doesn't sound nice.

• 26:02Andy Frisella?

  That's because they're idealists.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:04Andy Frisella?

  This show's called Real A. It's not called Ideal A. This is, this is, this is the truth. And this is not another podcaster that says, oh, you know, you're enough. No, no, the fuck you aren't.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  Not enough.

• 26:16Andy Frisella?

  You're fucking, you could, you could be, but you ain't right now. And that's what you gotta realize. Okay, you are a raw fucking piece of granite that has not been chiseled out yet. And you need to get the fucking hammer in so that you could chisel out what the fuck you're trying to create. And then, once that thing is sculpted, people appreciate it. Nobody appreciates a big block of granite when it's just sitting there.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  It's just fucking.

• 26:38Andy Frisella?

  Nobody comes in and says, nobody comes in and says, there's a, there's, look at this. That sculpture of David is just as beautiful as that block of granite. There's not a fucking single person in history that's ever said that. So you think you're gonna be the first one?

• 26:56Andy Frisella?

  Now, do you have the ability to do that? Sure. Are you doing it? Maybe. Have you done it to your maximum ability? Probably not. And if you wanna be what it is you say you wanna be, you would become that.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  I love it, dude. I love it, man. Guys, Andy, our third and final question. Got a young buck here. Question number three. Andy, I believe social media has completely messed up my perception of success. I'm 23 and every day I see people my age claiming they're millionaires. They're buying watches, they're buying cars, they're buying houses. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out my career and pay for my rent on time. Realistically, I know comparison is stupid, but it still gets in my head. So how do you recommend I stay focused on the real world when the internet constantly makes me feel behind?

• 27:49Andy Frisella?

  Okay, there's a couple of things here. Number one, you have to understand you're not wrong. Okay?

• 27:59Andy Frisella?

  I have watched the internet evolve. All right, when I started on social media in 2012, you had a few entrepreneurs that were giving good advice that had actually built real things. Like, and what I mean by real things is like, you could see them, you could order their product. They were like, they had real shit, real businesses, okay? Now, this has evolved into a big horse and pony show. And these kids, what they do is they go out, they create some sort of hustle, and then they take all that money and they go lease a fucking Lamborghini for, or whatever,

• 28:42Andy Frisella?

  for, you know, a 12-year interest-only lease, trying to posture so that you, the actual guy, will look at them and say, I'm gonna buy whatever they're selling.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  They must be doing something right.

• 28:55Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:56Andy Frisella?

  This has completely fucked the perception of what entrepreneurship is actually about. Entrepreneurship is the hardest fucking job you will ever choose in your entire life. And when you see some kid out there saying, I'm the guy that got this at 23, how did you get it? Where's your company? Where's your employees? What do you ship? What service do you offer? Can I talk to your customers? Where are they? Who are they? Okay, and you have to learn to vet this shit out. Because it doesn't take a whole bunch of selling widgets or bullshit to afford a $3,000 a month lease to then pretend to be successful.

• 29:40Andy Frisella?

  Okay? You have to know the difference. And if you lack the discernment to be able to tell the difference, you're not gonna be successful anyway. Because you don't have enough intelligence to do it. That's just the truth.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  But there's a bare minimum.

• 29:53Andy Frisella?

  There is a bare minimum intelligence that's required. And being able to... To do due diligence to understand if someone is real or not. That's one of them. And dude, part of the problem is we want to believe that story. Yeah. Okay, especially when we're nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two. We want to believe it. We want to believe that we can be the guy who's on a yacht, uh, you know, and, and driving a fucking, uh, a Bugatti when they're twenty-four years old. We want to, because that sounds fucking awesome, man. He can do it. Bro, when I was twenty-four, if someone was saying, oh dude, you could drive a Bugatti, I for sure would have bought their shit. Cause I'm like, how the fuck did they do it? So you lack the perspective to understand what it's actually about. And this is a big problem.

• 30:36Andy Frisella?

  And what it does is it creates this, this issue where a lot of people who are not cut out for the lane of entrepreneurship, start believing that that's the right lane for them to be in. But they're not built for it, bro. It's hard as fuck. It takes everything you got. You have to be willing to give things up. You're gonna lose relationships. You're gonna lose friends. You're gonna lose fucking a lot of shit to be successful. You're gonna pass up on a lot of shit. And you're gonna have to do that for a really long time. And that entire time that you're doing it, you're gonna have to wonder if it's ever gonna work out.

• 31:16Andy Frisella?

  Very few people are actually set up to just hammer and hammer and hammer and hammer and never know if it's actually gonna materialize. That is a fucking special kind of person. That's a special kind of mental toughness. And not everybody's equipped for that. And not everybody wants to give up their weekends and their nights and their dinners, nor should they, nor should they. Uh, there's nothing wrong with earning an honest living and having a balanced life that makes you happy. You don't have to be this. You don't have to. But for the ones that really want it,

• 31:53Andy Frisella?

  you have to be able to discern what's real and what's fake. And there's so much fake out here that it's almost impossible for them to tell. Because these people are good at faking it and you lack the perspective that someone like me who's built really fucking massive things in real life has from looking back down the mountain. Okay. Like when you're at the bottom of the mountain and you see someone that is, you know, a quarter of the way up and you're like, fuck, how do you get there so fast? Well, you didn't see the helicopter come over and drop him the fuck off.

• 32:26Speaker 01

  Or that it's a green screen.

• 32:27Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, yes. You didn't see that shit, dude. So you have to realize that like literally 99% of these people on the internet are full of fucking shit. Real talk, full stop, 99%. If you can't see their company and you can't order their product and you can't talk to their customers or they don't have a service or they don't, you can't recognize the businesses or they won't tell you the businesses or they like, that's all red flag shit that you have to fucking understand. Every, if, let me ask you this. If you had real businesses and you had this massive portfolio of small businesses and shit and all these things going on and you

• 33:10Andy Frisella?

  were actually trying to, wouldn't you tell, what would be the reason you wouldn't tell people that? If that's what you're trying to help people do? Why would you hide that? There's no reason for it. You would be showing people, you would be going into the businesses. You would say, here's this business that I'm partners in, we're doing this and this and this. Here's this business that we're doing, we're doing this and this and this. Here's this person that I helped. They did, they went from here to here. And that person would say, yeah, I did it. Like there would be real world evidence. You'd be able to go order their products. You'd be able to read their reviews. This, you have to verify this shit. Okay. If you can't do that, they're fucking lying. Because if they were doing it, it would be an asset and a marketing advantage for them to show that shit. So understand that. There's all

• 33:54Andy Frisella?

  these people out here that are selling digital coaching that are saying, oh, I made all this money doing this and this and this and this and this. And they got like, they might have a couple of cars, they might have, all right, but their businesses, what, what are the names of them?

• 34:11Andy Frisella?

  Where are they? How come you're never shooting? How come if you've? How come if you have these things? Why are you shooting content in your front fucking yard?

• 34:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:19Andy Frisella?

  Why aren't you like? Why we never see you in your office? Why we never see you? You see what I'm saying? Like? Why? Because they're lying. Okay? And they're making all of their money selling you something that they never actually did. Okay? So keep that in mind. Now, what you have to understand is that there's a? That's the bullshit. The reality is that you are going to have to be prepared to run the motherfucking gauntlet. And guess what? The gauntlet never fucking ends. It's not something there's an end to. You're not going to get to the end of it. There's no light at the tunnel, bro. It's a constant fight. That's the path you're choosing. You are choosing a path of a constant battle that's going to last your entire life.

• 35:05Andy Frisella?

  And what you're going to get out of it is a lifestyle and an experience that other people will never have. And we can argue what's better or not, but that's the reality. All right? You're not going to have to worry about paying for dinners. You're not going to have to worry about where you go to vacation. You're not going to have to worry about what car you want to drive. You're not going to have to worry about making mortgage payments. Those people are going to have to worry about them. But they are going to have things that you don't have. They are going to have their weekends. They are going to have their nights with their families. They are going to have other things that you just won't be able to have in the same capacity. So we got to understand the reality before you fucking sign up for it. Okay? And your question was, I always feel like I'm behind.

• 35:49Andy Frisella?

  Well, yeah, man, because you're consuming internet bullshit.

• 35:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:54Andy Frisella?

  Okay? You know how many motherfuckers out here? Are out here building real careers? Doing real shit in real companies? That are becoming very successful? That probably feel like they're way behind because these other people are lying. Like dude, it's a big problem.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:14Andy Frisella?

  You know, and, and you just have to remind yourself, dude, that it's just not real.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:18Andy Frisella?

  It's just not real shit. Okay? I've been doing this long enough. Okay? In the personal development game, there's, I couldn't really go any higher. That's the truth. Okay. I got to, to the point where I got tired of doing it. That's when I switched off MFCO in 2020. Like, it's like I, I won that game. You know what I'm saying?

• 36:42Andy Frisella?

  I

• 36:46Andy Frisella?

  I just don't.

• 36:51Andy Frisella?

  That's a whole nother thing because now it created a vacuum for all this stupid shit.

• 36:57Andy Frisella?

  You guys got to understand, man, there's nothing wrong with, with, with building something real and it taking a long time. That's actually how it goes. Okay. And all these people who are telling you different and then saying, buy my shit. They're making all their money off buy my shit. Okay. It's a fucking act.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:17Andy Frisella?

  It's a fucking character. And if you're out there and you're working hard and you're working smart and you're genuinely building something. I can promise you this is not going to look like Bugatti's in three fucking years. It's fucking not. Do not let these liars make you feel like you're doing it wrong. Because it's hard for you. Do not make, let these people make you feel like you're doing it wrong because it's taking longer than it maybe took them. Because they're, you're already way ahead of them because you're building something fucking real. Okay? Easy come, easy go.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Dude, I was just about to fucking say that, dude.

• 37:56Andy Frisella?

  It, it's, it's an appearance. Fast money comes, fast money goes. You want a foundation for your whole entire life that's going to create generational wealth to the point where when, you know, you're my age, you know, I don't have to, I don't have to do anything.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 38:13Andy Frisella?

  Like, I don't have to do anything. I could never show up here again. And it doesn't matter how much inflation happens. I'm going to be living the same life.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 38:24Andy Frisella?

  But again, I'm built for the motherfucking game. I've been doing this so long that I'm, it's, I'm addicted to it. And you go, oh, that's not healthy. Well, it's not healthy for you. Cause I'll tell you what's not healthy for me is not doing it. Cause every motherfucking time I've tried to relax and be a normal person, you know what happens? I end up sitting on the couch thinking, fuck dude, I'm gonna fuckin kill myself. This is fucking horrible and I don't say that figuratively, I mean literally. So for me, I have to fight. I have to go and if you're really built for it, you understand exactly what I'm saying. And if you're not built for it, it sounds fucking crazy. Okay, but if you are built for it and you try to live like everybody else, you're gonna be fucking miserable.

• 39:08Andy Frisella?

  So don't let these people talk you into like, you know, oh, you gotta relax or you gotta do this or you gotta do this or, you know, you got trauma or relax or fuck, bro, that's for you. This is what I do and the world fucking requires people like that. What if there wasn't a bunch of crazy psycho motherfuckers that were addicted to building shit? Do you, what the, what the world would look like? Okay, the world needs fucking people who are willing to fight, people who are relentless, people who never give up, people who are addicted to the game. All the great shit that's ever been built that you utilize every single day, the places you go to eat, the clothes you wear, the fucking cars you drive. They're all built by people like that, bro. All of it. Okay, so if you're one of those people and everybody's telling you're one of those people, it's probably a good thing.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:54Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:55Andy Frisella?

  But you gotta understand, dude. They're speaking a different language than you. All right? All that shit you see on the internet, that's for other people. All that feel good shit, that's for other people. All, all that shit.

• 40:12Andy Frisella?

  All that idealistic bullshit. That's for people to feel better about not pursuing what they know they're supposed to pursue. The reason they're depressed, the reason they have anxiety, the reason they're unfulfilled. Has nothing to do with how much they've done. It has to do with what they know they should have done, but chose not to do. And there's wrestling with it on the inside. And if they would have applied themselves or if they start now, that would change. Okay, it's really hard to be depressed when you have big goals and big dreams that you're working on every day. Really fucking hard. All right? So I know I said a lot there, but at the end of the day,

• 40:52Andy Frisella?

  fuck these motherfuckers on the internet. They're a bunch of liars. Ninety eight percent of them are liars. If they can't show you their fucking receipts, they're lying, period, because if they could show you the receipts, they'd fucking show them because it would help them do what they're doing.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. Or you would just know, you would know those names of those companies. You would, yeah.

• 41:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, come on, dude. It's bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now, now are those people? Now, are there people that have specialized skill sets? That know, that know how to help and do can sell around those things? Absolutely. Absolutely. But those people are also wealthy for real. Because they've utilized those skill sets to build that wealth. All right. So you have to be able to discern all this shit, but I'm going to tell you right now.

• 41:42Andy Frisella?

  I've been around this a long time, dude.

• 41:45Andy Frisella?

  And I'm, I'm just being real. Okay. Most, most of it, and I'm not talking about eighty percent. I'm talking upper ninety percent is total smoke and mirrors. That's it.

• 41:57Andy Frisella?

  So you can't let it fucking, you can't let it make you think that it's like, it's like comparing.

• 42:05Andy Frisella?

  Oh, and by the way, there's another part to that question.

• 42:09Andy Frisella?

  He said something about comparing. What did he say in there?

• 42:12Speaker 01

  He said, realistically, I know comparison is stupid.

• 42:14Andy Frisella?

  No, it's not stupid. That's the point. That was what I was gonna say. That was the point. Comparison is a fucking amazing thing if you're comparing to the right people.

• 42:22Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 42:23Andy Frisella?

  Okay. You are in a competition. You can pretend you're not. People can say you're not. Everybody can act like it's wrong, but the truth of the matter is you are in a competition. You are trying to do something that only a certain amount of people get to do. And you're trying to do it at a level that only a certain amount of people ever get to get at. And that means it's a fucking competition for who the fuck gets there. This whole idea that everybody can do it, it's not true. Because there's other people in your lane doing the same thing that you, and there's only so much market share. And you have to own that market share to get to that result. And if you don't, you won't.

• 43:02Andy Frisella?

  So it is a competition, a fucking very real one, probably the fiercest, toughest, most brutal competition you could ever sign up for. It's harder than fucking anything. And this idea that it's not a competition is total shit. That's what people tell people who have given up on all their shit and want to feel good about it. That's why I say a lot of these people are predatory. They know what they're saying. What's a, what's, what's a bigger market to sell to?

• 43:32Andy Frisella?

  The 2% of entrepreneurs that are actually successful out of the 8% of the total population? 8% of the fucking, 8% of the population, 8, 10% of entrepreneurs, 2% are fucking successful of that eight. Okay? What's a bigger market?

• 43:51Andy Frisella?

  That 10% or that 90% that feel bad about their life going the way that they want to go? And you could sell them things that make them feel better.

• 43:59Speaker 01

  That don't know any better.

• 44:00Andy Frisella?

  These people are salesmen. They, like, when you hear all this feel-good shit about inner peace and all this fucking shit, that's for them.

• 44:10Andy Frisella?

  I'm gonna tell you something, dude. You're signing up for the hardest battle ever. It's very rare that you get inner peace. Okay? You don't get to sit around and rub fucking bowls. You know what I'm saying? Like, that ain't the fucking life you're signing up for.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  The amount of crystals you can shove up there.

• 44:23Andy Frisella?

  You're signing up for fucking hard-ass shit. You're signing up for 2:00 AM phone calls. You're signing up for getting out of bed at fucking 4:00 in the morning. You're signing up for getting your balls kicked in every motherfucking day. You're signing up for losing money over and over and over and over and over again. You're signing up for losing girlfriends, losing boyfriends, losing friends, losing relationships, missing out on all cool shit, quote unquote. That's what the fuck you're signing up for. That is the path. But then again, the reward is much different than what they get. Okay? And, and dude, what they get, they should just appreciate it. Like, if you're one of these people who's not in that 9, or not in that 10%, bro, live your life. Do well enough to live your life and enjoy your life.

• 45:05Andy Frisella?

  Don't agonize yourself into thinking that you need to be an entrepreneur, that you gotta make all this money or this or that. Bro. You, you have a gift too.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:15Andy Frisella?

  And by the way, that's most people. And you know what? Those people usually, if they don't antagonize themselves with these fake dreams about who they aren't, are actually the happier people.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 45:29Andy Frisella?

  Okay? Well, don't you want to be happy, Andy? I am happy because my fucking, what I do makes me happy. You don't understand that.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 45:38Andy Frisella?

  Like, you're thinking, what makes you happy makes me happy. That is not the same thing. Bro, if I sat, if I went home every day at fucking four o'clock and sat around and then every weekend I didn't have shit to do, I would be fucking miserable.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  It lasts a couple of days.

• 45:53Andy Frisella?

  Oh dude, for me, at this point in my life, I can't even do it for a day.

• 45:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:58Andy Frisella?

  Andy, why aren't you going on two week vacations? Because, bro, that's, I, I can't do that. I'm not into that. That doesn't make me fucking happy. That doesn't make, I'm a builder, I'm a creator, I want to be in the fucking fight. That's what makes me fucking happy. I'm wired that way. All right? You're wired a different way. That's fucking totally cool, man. Okay, but like this whole thing, like this is why I like people that are wired the other way. They always say, well, you should do this and this and this and, and, you know, but you're not, you don't seem to be happy. Yeah, because you don't understand what makes me happy. It is inconceivable to you that someone would be happy living in that kind of a battle.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 46:35Andy Frisella?

  But if we didn't have people like that, what the fuck would the world look like? So if you're one of those people, you have to realize that you are a very important person in society that provides a ton of value for people and they're going to fucking think you're crazy for doing it. But they're going to benefit from it. So it's like, be what you are, dude. You know what I'm saying?

• 46:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:55Andy Frisella?

  There's nothing wrong with, with either way, but you gotta know what you are and you gotta be true to yourself. Otherwise, you're going to fucking be miserable.

• 47:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. By the, that's the, that's the, you can be extremely successful as an entrepreneur.

• 47:07Andy Frisella?

  Oh dude.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  Extremely successful.

• 47:08Andy Frisella?

  Dude, listen, the happiest people are very effective entrepreneurs.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:12Andy Frisella?

  Are people who are part of an organization, who come in, who kick ass, who are very skilled. They get paid very well because they provide value and then they still get to have the benefits of going home, enjoying their family, going on vacations and doing the things that normal people do. And they love that.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 47:31Andy Frisella?

  That, those are the, actually the happiest people because they get enough financial freedom to live their life.

• 47:37Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 47:38Andy Frisella?

  There's, I actually, like, real talk, dude.

• 47:43Andy Frisella?

  I wish I was one of those people a lot of times. I just, I'm just not. And I tried to be one of those people. I had a very, I had a person that I respect a whole lot. Who's a good friend of mine one time, tried to convince me that I needed to like, chill out and relax and you know, this and I, and I tried to do that, bro. And I went through the hardest, darkest time of my entire life, like where I got literally suicidal about it. And I felt like, bro, what the fuck is wrong with me? And I was sitting with my other friend, Zoltan, and we were sitting in my, my cigar lounge, having this amazing conversation. I was explaining this to him. He's like, and, you know, the guy's so smart and.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  So simple too.

• 48:25Andy Frisella?

  He's like, uh, did you ever think that, you know, uh, you're built for the fight? Like, did you ever realize that people, like, he's telling me what I'm telling you? And what, once that clicked, I was like, oh.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  Game on motherfucker.

• 48:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, this is what the fuck I am.

• 48:40Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 48:40Andy Frisella?

  You know, it's like, it's like trying to be a fish and climbing a tree. Like the shit doesn't, fishes swim.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 48:48Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying? Like.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Go swim.

• 48:50Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, go swim, you know, and, and fucking raccoons climb trees or whatever, man. I'm one of them, you know, I'm not the same as you.

• 48:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:57Andy Frisella?

  And there are different kinds of human beings. So, you gotta know what you are and you gotta go on that path and you gotta choose wisely. Now, in the beginning, you have a lot of doubt. Cause right now there's a lot of young people listening and like, well, fuck, which one am I?

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right. How do I know then?

• 49:13Andy Frisella?

  How do I know? Okay, here's how you know.

• 49:17Andy Frisella?

  Are you willing to have that life that they have?

• 49:21Andy Frisella?

  That's it. Are you willing to have what everybody else has? Does that appeal to you? Is that what you want? If that's not what you want and you want more, you're never going to be happy with that.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  There's a secret sauce, dog. That's it. I love it, dude. I love it, man. Beautiful Memorial Day, man. Guys, Andy. That was three. All right. All right, guys. We will see you tomorrow with CTI. Don't be a hoe. Share the show.