1031. Q&AF Ft. Tim Grover: Avoiding Discomfort, Staying Motivated After Big Wins & Becoming Your Best Self

On today's episode, Andy and DJ are joined by Tim Grover. They answer your questions on how to break free from comfort that's holding you back in life, how to stay driven after achieving a major goal, and how to become the person you know you're capable of being.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and you are listening to the show for the realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJ, how can they submit their questions? Yeah guys, you can email your questions in to [email protected]. You can also click the link in the description below and submit them there or just drop them in the comments section of the Q and A F videos on the YouTube. Now, the questions could be about anything, man, but typically, we like to keep them around how to win. All right. Personal development, how to build your business, how to kick ass. Those are the things we like to talk about here on this show. If this is your first

• 1:00Andy Frisella?

  time listening, we have shows within the show. All right. Today, you're going to hear Q and A F like we talked about. And then other times, you're going to hear C T I. That's Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen. We speculate on what's going on. We talk about it. We talk about, you know, how ridiculous some of this shit is. And then we, we, we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then other times, we're going to have what's called 75 Hard Versus. That's where somebody who's completed the 75 Hard Program comes on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 Hard Program to transform their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75

• 1:43Andy Frisella?

  Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard Program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. And you get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed only. It is not on YouTube. You can also go to andyfrisella.com and there's a book called The Book on Mental Toughness. And you Buy that book. It is not free and it will give you the entire live hard program plus a whole bunch of other information on mental toughness. Why it's important, how to use it in your life. And one of the things we do different here in this show is that we don't run ads on the show. All right. We're the biggest show in the world that does not run ads. And the reason we don't run

• 2:24Andy Frisella?

  ads is because I don't want to be told what I can and can't say by somebody that's paying me money. So I can guarantee you that anything that I say here is of my own free will, um, which is more than I can say for most of the people out there. So we ask very simply that you do us a solid. If you like the show, if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you new information, it helps you get better. Don't be a hoe.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Share the show.

• 2:51Andy Frisella?

  All right. What's up dude?

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Good Morgan.

• 2:54Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  What's going on?

• 2:56Andy Frisella?

  Good Morgan, huh?

• 2:57Speaker 01

  Yes. Somebody, Morgan's good.

• 3:00Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  What's going on, bro?

• 3:02Andy Frisella?

  Nothing dude.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:03Andy Frisella?

  I'm, um, you're looking a little beat over there.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Dude, I'm exhausted.

• 3:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, did the Murph today.

• 3:09Andy Frisella?

  You did?

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Dude, I was literally writing up a caption for my IG post. I, that is something that I've avoided for six fucking years.

• 3:16Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  And it got done today.

• 3:18Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  You know, and

• 3:20Speaker 02

  And now are you like?

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Next year.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  It's a once a year, I mean, listen, we're gonna prep for it. You know, I'm gonna beat my, my time, you know, set my, my standard and it will get beat next year.

• 3:30Andy Frisella?

  Well, speaking of the book on mental toughness, we have Mr. Tim Grover here with us who, uh, wrote the foreword for the book. I couldn't think of anybody better to write it.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  I got some good ones for, for both of you.

• 3:39Andy Frisella?

  Oh, you got some?

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Some really, really good ones.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Some really good ones.

• 3:42Andy Frisella?

  Get ahead of yourself. Now, let's get back to you looking like you just got your ass beat.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I did.

• 3:51Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  I did. I got beat my own ass.

• 3:53Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:53Andy Frisella?

  It's better than beating your own meat, huh?

• 3:55Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know, but I mean, it's good though who you ask for that one. No, dude, it's, uh, it feels good though, man. You know, I'm sore. Uh, feels good.

• 4:03Andy Frisella?

  You already sore?

• 4:04Speaker 01

  Bro, listen, I was sore when I had to run that second mile. I was already, I'm like, all right. You know, but, uh, but no, dude, I'm, I'm

• 4:10Speaker 02

  You wanna explain to the audience what actually you did that they don't know?

• 4:14Speaker 01

  What the Murph is?

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, what the Murph is.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a, it's a Memorial Day, uh, challenge, uh, in honor of Michael Mur- Murphy, Lieutenant Michael Murphy. Uh, you start off with a mile run. Then it's a hundred pull-ups, 200 push-ups, and then 300 air squats, and then another one mile run. And you can do it weighted. I think that's like what's recommended. I did a, I think, I used wheels, so I think it was like a 20-pound.

• 4:40Andy Frisella?

  Did you do it in that succession, or did you do little rotations?

• 4:44Speaker 01

  No, I did rotations. I broke it up. So I did my mile first, and then I did 20 rounds, basically, of five pull-ups, 10 push-ups, and then 15 air squats. I did 20 of those rounds.

• 4:55Andy Frisella?

  Now, I know you didn't do clean pull-ups, so how'd you do it?

• 4:57Speaker 01

  No, absolutely not. No, I mean, it was assisted.

• 4:58Andy Frisella?

  You scaled it out?

• 4:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, just scaled it out.

• 5:00Andy Frisella?

  No, it's alright.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  But, you know.

• 5:01Andy Frisella?

  I was just curious.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Well, listen, dude, that's like, I mean, that's a goal.

• 5:06Andy Frisella?

  Listen, bro, I'm a fellow fat dude. I know what pull-ups are all about. It's like when you're in grade school and they put you up on the pull-up bar and you just hang there.

• 5:13Speaker 01

  That's right, that's right, that's right.

• 5:14Andy Frisella?

  Like, that's what it's like. And then you're like, alright, you kind of like, and then you get off.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, but the standard has been set.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  And then your shirt is off and everybody can see your stuff. We've all been there, all three of us.

• 5:24Andy Frisella?

  It's the worst, bro.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, no, it feels good, though, man. I'm, you know, I got it done. The standard has been set.

• 5:30Andy Frisella?

  Good.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  So.

• 5:31Andy Frisella?

  Good.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Feels good, though, man. Yeah, how you doing? You good?

• 5:34Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, I'm good, man.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, you look good, man.

• 5:36Andy Frisella?

  Just doing a thing.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  I like you with the glasses.

• 5:38Andy Frisella?

  Oh, do you?

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do.

• 5:39Andy Frisella?

  Well.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Like, it's just, it's giving something, man. It's given. I think that's what the youngsters say.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  You guys got to be careful. You're talking about beating meat now. You're talking about liking them with the glasses. Where are we going here? I'm getting ready to step out, man.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Tim, how you doing, man?

• 5:57Speaker 01

  How you doing? Tim, what's new with you?

• 5:58Speaker 02

  I'm excellent. I'm, you know, I am excellent. I'm sitting here with individuals I truly admire. You know, DJ, we've been on you for a long time, and I come in here and just, the results that you have, the transformation has been exceptional, man. I know we pissed you off a lot of times, but you saw the result. And until, like Andrew said, when you made the decision, that's when everything, that's when everything happened. And we're both extremely proud of you. Just keep, just keep going.

• 6:29Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, what he's saying is, don't get fucking fat.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, again, that's right.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Just keep going. Because, listen, that fat, when you go home? That fat person is waiting for you.

• 6:39Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  He's standing right outside the podcast.

• 6:42Andy Frisella?

  He's in there, bro.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  He sits in the car to go to sleep every, every, every single, every single day.

• 6:49Andy Frisella?

  He's just waiting.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  They're just, they're just, they're just.

• 6:51Andy Frisella?

  Waiting to whisper in your ear.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:54Andy Frisella?

  Chinese buffet.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  You know.

• 6:57Andy Frisella?

  Pizza.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  Tapping you on the, tapping you on the shoulder.

• 7:01Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  That goes for all of us.

• 7:03Andy Frisella?

  Ah, bro, listen, the only reason I know that is because he's still in there talking to me the other day.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  Mine hasn't paid rent in so long, but he's been living there, boy.

• 7:11Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. No, man, it's awesome. It's a, it's a great day to get better today.

• 7:15Andy Frisella?

  It is.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Um, and in honor of having Tim on, I got some really, really good questions for, uh, for everybody here. So let's make some people better, shall we?

• 7:23Andy Frisella?

  Let's do it.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  Guys, Andy, Tim, question number one. Andy, I'm 24 and I honestly think comfort has become my biggest enemy. Anytime life gets hard, I instantly look for distractions like food or my phone or sleep, anything to avoid discomfort. I know discipline matters, but how do you train yourself to stop running from hard things when your brain is wired to avoid them?

• 7:52Andy Frisella?

  Well, I don't know. How do you get muscles? You lift heavy shit.

• 7:58Andy Frisella?

  Okay, like how do you, how do you be able to run 20 miles? You start trying to run. All right, you gotta understand that your discipline is a skill set that has to be cultivated and trained in order for it to work. So when you say, well, I know discipline is important. No. Discipline is fucking everything. It will decide whether or not you actually become what you want to become or not. It will dictate your physique. It will dictate your income. It will dictate your spouse. It will dictate your family. It will dictate every single thing in your life.

• 8:41Andy Frisella?

  The problem isn't that people don't know what to do, it's that they lack the ability to do it. It's the ability to adhere to a plan. And you could get any recipe for anything out of a book and literally read it.

• 8:56Andy Frisella?

  And make the best possible version of that if you follow the directions. It's not that the plan is not out there, it's that you can't follow the fucking plan. Alright, and that's what you have to understand. And instead of looking at discipline as if it's some sort of mystical force like all of us did at some point in our life. You have the opportunity as a very young person to figure out that this is a perishable skillset that needs to be trained on a regular basis. So, that would be my first thing to say to you, is that you have to understand that you have to invest in this, you have to train it, and you have to train it by making the hard decisions that feel very hard for you right now, over and over and over again.

• 9:41Andy Frisella?

  And as you make those decisions, and as you do the thing that is required, instead of the thing that makes you more comfortable, you gain strength. That muscle, that disciplined muscle, begins to develop. It gets stronger, it gets bigger, it gets more capable of making the right decisions. And that's going to require you, with a very weak disciplined muscle, to do and make decisions around things that seem to be very hard. But once you develop that muscle, and once you develop that ability, the decisions that you're struggling with now become almost automatic down the road.

• 10:22Andy Frisella?

  Alright, no different than when you first go into a gym and you start to lift some weights, and those weights feel very heavy, you have to continue to lift those little weights and look stupid and feel stupid before you can get to the big weights. And then, once you get to the big weights, you go back to lift the little weights, and it's very easy. So these decisions that you're struggling with. While they seem very hard to you, they're only hard because you lack the skill set of discipline that you haven't built yet.

• 10:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, and you described this before too, you know, because I know we talked about this on CTI, but like, I mean, these young kids now with social media, their phones, like, all of these things, they are inundated with it, right? Like, it's a trillion-dollar industry that's being pumped to them. And you've described discipline before, it was like the pizza or the food is this like inanimate object not having power over you.

• 11:19Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  Can you dive into that? Because maybe like this-

• 11:21Andy Frisella?

  Well, it's very simple. Are you literally going to give up your entire fucking life because something sits in front of you that has no, no, not a single thing in it has control over anything?

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:35Andy Frisella?

  And you're going to look at that thing, whether it be alcohol, or food, or whatever it may be, and you're going to allow this inanimate object to fucking beat you? What is fucking weaker than that?

• 11:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:49Andy Frisella?

  That is the weakest shit. When you say it like that, that is the weakest fucking shit. You're literally losing to something that, that has no fucking power. It's like, it's not even alive. It's not even a real thing. You're losing to yourself. And that's what you have to understand.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  DJ, read the first part of the question again.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  I'm 24 and I'm hon- and I honestly think comfort has become my biggest enemy.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  Okay, keep going.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Anytime life gets hard-

• 12:19Speaker 02

  All right, stop right there. 24 and life is hard.

• 12:26Andy Frisella?

  I mean-

• 12:26Speaker 01

  Uncle Tim's here, baby!

• 12:27Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro. That's the, that, you know, I get that.

• 12:33Andy Frisella?

  But, you know, you don't know what you don't know, right? Like, you don't know that it keeps getting fucking harder.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Dude, you can't even rent a car yet.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  And Lily- Look, you have to go, this person has to go back to the way he was brought up. And somewhere down the line, you'll know exactly why you are the way you are. And when you recognize that and you're willing to deal with that, this will, this will start to change. Otherwise, you're gonna be sitting here, you're gonna be asking the same question at 30, 35, 40, 45. You're just gonna keep doing the same thing over and over and over again. Alright, deal with what made you this way. Whether it was your upbringing, whether it's something that, something that happened,

• 13:30Speaker 02

  or everything was just, everything was just, everything was just handed to you. You never had to work for anything, you're addicted to, you're, you have an, you have an addiction you don't want to deal with. It starts and ends with you. And then when you're gonna, when, when Andrew talks about the discipline stuff, everyone, you have to master, everyone tries to discipline themselves into multiple things. Discipline yourself in one thing, master it. Then discipline yourself in the other thing, master it. You know, everybody wants to go from one thing to the other, to the other, to the other, and the other thing. Listen dude, you stop making fucking excuses, alright? This is like, you know, it's everybody, yeah, you know what? The brain is designed for comfort, the brain is designed for relaxation.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  But everything you want and everything you look at on your phone all day, you say, man, how, how are they doing? It's not a secret. It's not a secret, he just gave you the, he just gave you the solution in fi- in five minutes. Literally in five minutes. And like he said, the recipe is out there, you're looking, you're looking. Yeah, you know what?

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Start the 75 hard.

• 14:40Andy Frisella?

  That's why we built the program.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  It's not a physical program. Start to say, start to say, are you gonna fail? Absolutely, you're gonna fucking fail. Absolutely, you're gonna fail. But you're gonna fail at something you actually put some fucking effort into it.

• 14:53Andy Frisella?

  Dude, the thing is, with 75 hard, is the, you know, people are like, oh, I gotta get the day. Fifty and start the fuck over. Yeah, that's how fucking life works. Yes. Okay, you don't fail and then get to take a fucking vacation and be who you used to be. If you really want to fucking change it, like you really want to change it. And at 24 years old, I dude, I would be exactly where you are right now. Being exactly where I am right now. I don't have to know shit about you. I would fucking trade places with you in one second. Because you are aware enough to understand that you lack the discipline. I was not until I was 36 years old.

• 15:34Andy Frisella?

  Okay, that's 12 years that I fucked off from the time where you are to the time where I finally figured it out. You have an opportunity right now to figure this out to the point where you could develop this skill set, which will allow you to execute in a way that nobody else your age is going to. And by the way, it's not just your age. It's almost everybody. Everybody quits when it gets hard. Everybody seeks comfort when it gets hard. Oh, I deserve this. Everybody lies to themselves about what they've done to deserve these things. Dude, it's all a lie. It's all bullshit. Do you really want it or do you fucking not want it?

• 16:16Andy Frisella?

  If you really want it, do the fucking program because that will help you understand and consistently invest in this skill set. That's why 75 hard is not a one and done thing. Okay, it is a program. The live hard program is a program that is done literally every year. You know why it's done every year? The same reason you take a fucking shower every day. Because if you don't practice discipline, you become less disciplined. It is a perishable skill. And if you can learn that at 24 fucking years old, dude, you have no idea the advantage you have over everybody else.

• 16:59Andy Frisella?

  Because everybody else is going to do exactly what Tim said. They're going to go to next year. They're going to start with next Monday, right? This is how it goes because I did this. You know what? I need to get in shape. I need to do this. I need to do that. Well, fresh start on Monday. And then by Wednesday, they're already giving in to all this comfort bullshit and they're like, fuck it. I'll fucking start again on Monday, fresh. And because I'm going to start again on Monday, from now until Monday, I'm going to do all of the shit that I know I won't be able to do for the next, you know, however long.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Cause I'm starting Monday.

• 17:32Andy Frisella?

  Right. And then what that does is that starts to compound and it's just math. You're spending four or five days of the week trying to do all the stuff you know you're not supposed to do, which then creates a bigger mountain and a bigger mountain and a bigger mountain and a bigger mountain. And eventually that mountain is so big that people look at it and they're like, fuck it. I can't fucking do it. Okay. And this all comes from your inability to overcome the very small decisions on a daily basis which challenge you. And so instead of looking at these things like, oh, they're hard. You need to develop a little bit of fuck you. Okay. And what I mean by that is, oh, that's a test. That's a test. This isn't gonna fucking break me. This fucking beer doesn't have any power over me.

• 18:16Andy Frisella?

  This fucking pizza doesn't have any power over me. Fuck that shit. I'm stronger than that. That's what I mean by fuck you. And you are stronger than that, but you have to understand that it's by overcoming these little things in the day to day that allow you to have the discipline to do the big things that create the big outcomes that you're after. And to be real with you, dude, you are in a great spot because you're 20 fucking four years old. People will, 99% of people will never fucking figure this out. They'll go their whole lives and they'll say, man, I wonder why that guy's got all these, why is he so disciplined? Why is he so good? How can this guy do this? How can that person do that?

• 18:58Andy Frisella?

  I wish I had that. The reason they have that is because they made a conscious decision at some point in time to not let external circumstances dictate the outcome of their fucking life. And you have to make that decision. Am I going to live like everybody else? Am I going to do what everybody else does? Am I going to have what everybody else has? Or am I going to become the best that I can fucking be? And that's your fucking choice. And there is no other choice, by the way. You don't get to be in the middle. It's either you did or you fucking didn't. And that's it. So I would make the decision right now to come to an understanding that. Discipline is something that you can build, create,

• 19:41Andy Frisella?

  and use to create the life that you want, but you sure as fuck aren't going to create the life that you want if you can't conquer a motherfucking beer.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:50Andy Frisella?

  Okay?

• 19:52Speaker 02

  One thing that everybody in this room, every individual that's done something extraordinary, I'm talking about from writing books, to poetry, to businesses, to sport, they all had one thing in common. At some point, they all wanted to quit, and they didn't.

• 20:09Andy Frisella?

  That is it, man.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  And they, and, and, and, and they, and they didn't. The other thing is, I do give him, I'm assuming it's a, uh, it's a guy, I'm assuming, okay, the courage, you took the step to write this, to write this out. So now you have recognition, you're recognizing, I have an issue, I, I, I need, I need to figure this out. Understand, think about discipline, alright? Not being disciplined is a discipline.

• 20:36Andy Frisella?

  That's just like, that's like when people say, oh, the key to success is consistency. Motherfucker, you're consistent, you're just consistent in the wrong things.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, so you have a, you, you don't tell me you're not, you're just disciplined in the wrong things. Yeah, so you are, you're disciplined, you're just disciplined in the wrong, in the wrong things. Not being disciplined is a decision. It's a, it's a decision. Alright?

• 21:01Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, dude, this is not, this, look, and I agree with you, man. Like, number one, this, we're talking about greatness here, okay? We're talking about extracting what God has put in you. This is why you have this feeling. The reason you have this feeling of being behind and not being good enough and, you know, not doing, I need to do this and this and this, that's because that was put in you for a fucking reason. And your purpose is to pull that out and share it because it's going to create greatness, not just in you and your life, but in, in society. And when you think about like,

• 21:42Andy Frisella?

  where most people are, they think about this in terms of making money, but this isn't just about money, bro. This is about, like Tim said, contribution. It could be art, it could be music, it could be, uh, it could be anything, whatever you want to be great at. And I do give this young man credit. Not just for asking the question, but for being aware enough to acknowledge your own shortcomings. Because it starts with a really hard look in the mirror. We are our biggest liars. We will lie to ourself about fucking everything. And if you will not stand in front of the mirror and take a real, true, honest, unbiased,

• 22:26Andy Frisella?

  accountable assessment of your own life, you cannot win. You cannot win. There is going to become a time, if you want to create what it is that you want to do, that you're gonna have to look at yourself, dude, and you're gonna have to realize it's nobody's fault. It's fucking not your parents' fault. It's not your friends' fault. It's not your coach's fault. It's not your boss's fault. It's not your girlfriend. It's not your boyfriend. It's fucking you. It is you. And until you have that conversation, you can't even develop the awareness that this young man has already developed and say, hey, this is where I'm weak. How do I fix this? Okay, so yeah, I give him a ton of credit.

• 23:06Andy Frisella?

  And honestly, it excites me of someone being 24 years old and coming to that realization early.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  Yes, having that recognition. And don't tell us you don't have time because this generation, you have more time available to you than anything. It's unbelievable. You don't know. Talk to somebody who's a little bit older. What we had to do to try to create this, create this time, that's, that's not an issue.

• 23:31Andy Frisella?

  Bro, and, and also when you're young, dude, you want, this is when you want to develop this skill. And by the way, if you are 40 or you are 50, it's not too late. All right? That's not what I'm saying. But what I am saying is typically when you're younger, you have less obligations. Okay? You probably don't have a big mortgage. You probably don't have four kids. You probably don't, you know, have all these things. The more of those things that you put onto your life, the harder it is to climb that mountain. It's no different than a Sherpa climbing up Everest, dude. The more shit you put on his back, the harder it is gonna be for him. It doesn't matter how good he is.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  You should still do it.

• 24:07Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but it's, it's, it's gonna be harder. Yeah. So, you know, this whole idea that we hear about so often about young people going out and finding themselves. Bro, listen, man, there is no fucking finding yourself. That's not a real thing. You make a fucking decision about who you're going to be and what you're going to be and what kind of life you're going to live and you go out there and you fucking build it. Shit doesn't just fall into you. You, nobody just discovered themselves, uh, you know, successful or great or an amazing athlete or a wealthy entrepreneur. That, that's how the fuck it works, man. And we, you guys have been lied to with this idealistic bullshit

• 24:49Andy Frisella?

  about finding yourself. You, you know what you're gonna find? You're gonna find yourself fucking broke. That's the fuck you're gonna find at the end of that journey.

• 24:59Speaker 02

  I don't know about, usually I don't know about, alright, Andy, I know about you, you know, your father, my father. You go up to them, said, Dad.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Wait, hold on, wait, wait.

• 25:11Andy Frisella?

  DJ's still out here looking for that milk.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, hey, listen, I gotta, I, I, you know, I need some time to find myself. Your dad will look at you. I found you. You're right fucking here. Right here.

• 25:23Andy Frisella?

  That wasn't even a real conversation.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  It wasn't, I, I got like, I, I gotta go, what are you looking for?

• 25:29Andy Frisella?

  Now, taking an honest assessment about what you're into and who you want to be, that's okay. Right? You should do that. Like, what do you want to do? And you may not have the right answer, but you probably have a general idea. You probably understand like, I don't want to be poor. You probably understand that you like certain things, okay? You just kind of have to start going in that direction and then as you do, and you're developing these skill sets of being able to adhere to a plan, AKA discipline, grit, fortitude, perseverance, uh, the ability to overcome, endurance, you know, mental resiliency, physical resiliency, as you develop these things.

• 26:10Andy Frisella?

  You become skilled at following the path. Okay. And then that way, when you start to narrow it down and the path starts to become a little more clear, you have the skills to go down that path and create. And like, dude, this is, it's, it's completely opposite as to the narrative of what's told of these young people. Which is, try a little bit of this for three years. Try a little bit of that for three years. Try.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Take a gap year, don't do shit.

• 26:37Andy Frisella?

  Bro, you gotta understand, motherfucker, there is, you are running out of time. That's a real thing, you know, oh, I don't like hustle culture because of urgency. Okay, well then fucking don't listen to it and just go live your life. This ain't for everybody. It's not for everybody. Winning and greatness and building shit and becoming who the fuck you're supposed to be. It's rare. Winning is not the expectation for everybody. Okay, building and creating and becoming, that's abnormal. That's not greatness is abnormal. It's not a normal thing. Okay, like, we have this idea that like, everybody's gonna end up in the same spot. That's total bullshit, man. Okay? And if you want to be great at whatever it is that you do, you're gonna have to fucking start now. That's it, man.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I fucking love it, dude. I love it, man. Guys, let's get to question number two. Andy Tim, what keeps you motivated after achieving big goals? I am roughly two weeks out from getting the fruits of my labor for the last 14 months. I can smell it. But one of my friends asked me the other day, what's next? And at first I felt a little disrespected because I guess I wanted the acknowledgement of the achievement. But then thinking on it more, I think I understand what he meant. I'm just not sure what to do next. So what keeps you motivated after achieving big goals?

• 27:57Speaker 02

  Well, first of all, he hasn't achieved this. He's still two weeks away. A lot of shit happens in two fucking weeks now. You celebrating already? You celebrating already? You counting the confetti? You doing all that? What the fuck are you doing? Job's not finished. The hell you talking about? There's been tons of deals at the last minute. Like, yeah, this, this ain't, this ain't happening. There could be a shift in the, in, in the world that something happens. This ain't done yet. What fruits are your labor? 14 months?

• 28:26Andy Frisella?

  You know how you, you know how you, you know how you guarantee you get those fruits? You, you set the bar even higher and go after that right now. And those things will automatically come.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:35Andy Frisella?

  You'll close that gap immediately.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  Exactly. Yeah. Listen, if you, i- i- there always has to be a next. There always has to be a next. Always.

• 28:47Andy Frisella?

  Especially for people that have high drive and high ambition. You know, it, we're told all the time, man, that like, it's unhealthy to, to not celebrate in these things. But the, the problem is, i- i- i- it's, it's no different than 75 hard day. When people get done with 75 days and then they, they literally celebrate with the things that made them dissatisfied with who they were in the fucking first place.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:10Andy Frisella?

  Okay?

• 29:10Speaker 02

  Let me get a 75 hard cake.

• 29:11Andy Frisella?

  You know how you fucking celebrate? You celebrate by saying, okay, cool. Now I'm gonna do this. Cause now I have the opportunity. I climbed up those first four stairs. Now I have the opportunity to go the next four. That's a fucking celebration. That's worth celebrating. Hey, here's what I created. Now we could take it to this level and this level, this level. That's where the excitement comes from. Okay? So like, when you talk about motivation, like what keeps you motivated? It's, it's, it's, it's the idea of constant progression. All right? You, you gotta understand, dude, that most people, we've always heard these stories, right?

• 29:49Andy Frisella?

  Like about, oh, you know, uh, guy went out and built a business and you know, he got all this money, he sold his business and then he fucking killed himself. Well, he didn't kill himself because he had all the fucking money, bro. That's like what people want to believe. They want to believe that, oh, the dude got some money and the money fucking made him. No, that's not it. What happened was, he lost his purpose.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  Purpose.

• 30:11Andy Frisella?

  He lost his drive.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  He lost the next.

• 30:13Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  There's no next.

• 30:14Andy Frisella?

  So instead of, instead of raising the bar and realizing who the fuck you are, and this is true for most people, you just don't know it. Most of us are built for achievement. Most of us are built for winning. We're just brainwashed and thinking that that's not us. Okay? And the reason that these dudes go out and kill themselves and become miserable fucks is because they have not done what we're telling you to do. They, they cross the finish line miraculously. They get a big check. They get celebrated, you know?

• 30:49Andy Frisella?

  It gets recognized and then that becomes the thing, right? Like, oh, I won the fucking, uh, I won the MVP in the homecoming game. And when I was in high school, nobody cares, man. Nobody gives a shit. Okay. Oh, I, I did that. Nobody cares what you did. Nobody cares what you did. And they probably don't care about what you're doing either. So the reality is, is you have to learn to set the bar past. Like, right now, you're 80% of the way there. Okay. Like, let's just say you are. I don't know if you are, you are. Say you are. I don't know. Championship people, people who become fucking great. Those people are not looking

• 31:33Andy Frisella?

  at that first goal anymore at 80%. They're already fucking, they've set a new one.

• 31:38Speaker 02

  Finish line's already moved.

• 31:39Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. And that's the thing, dude. Like, there, that's why celebration is such a dangerous thing, man. Cause it can become, it can become something that lasts way too long. And that's why I, I have a rule, man. And it's a 24 hour celebration rule. All right? Like, when you see the greatest coaches of all time, I'm not talking about players, I'm talking about coaches. Well, some players are like this, too. You could probably vouch for this.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  Celebrate hard, don't celebrate long.

• 32:07Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's it, man. And dude, but like, the psychopaths, bro, there is times when Nick Saban has, has, Bill Belichick, okay, when Bill Belichick was with the Patriots. When, when Nick, these guys, literally, walk off the fucking field from winning the biggest thing that you could win in that sport. And you know what they're looking at? They're looking at all the shit they fucked up during the game. Hey, we got a lot of work to do. We gotta do this. I'm, you know, tonight, you know, the guys are gonna go, but we're gonna be back in. Dude, Nick Saban will go back in the office the next day at fucking 4 a.m.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:42Andy Frisella?

  Okay. Like, it's already, it's already done.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  He, I remember this, and like you said, it's in a video. They had won the, they had won the national championship and they, they, he was doing the interview and he goes, what, he goes, what's next? He goes, I'm six weeks behind of next season already because the recruiting's already started and all this other thing. He goes, I'm six, he goes, I'm six weeks behind. He goes, I'm six, I'm six weeks behind and coach, aren't you going to celebrate? He goes, I just did.

• 33:07Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  I, I, I, I, I just, I just, I just did. All right. And, and people are just looking at him like.

• 33:13Andy Frisella?

  They don't get it.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  They can't comprehend that. You know what? Everybody has the same idea of what a celebration is. It's supposed to be this month long or two month thing or a whole off season with all this partying and all this thing and people filling you up with all, all this bullshit over and over, over again, and you get sucked, you get sucked into that. And then if you go on to tell us, listen, I'm already, I'm, I'm here already. I'm over here. And then they look at you because what you're doing is they feel like you're, they want to celebrate your achievement for doing nothing.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  So it's not about you. It's about, it's about them.

• 33:53Andy Frisella?

  How they were celebrating.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Yes. It's how they want to celebrate. It's like they want to celebrate. It's just like, all right, when you go, if you just, you just talked about, you know, alcohol and drinking, all right? If you're a regular, consistent drinker, all right? And then one day you go out with your friends and say, I'm not drinking today. What's wrong?

• 34:10Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 34:11Speaker 02

  You know?

• 34:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  And it was like, I'm not, I'm not telling you guys not to drink. Drink whatever the fuck you want.

• 34:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  I, I just decided, they look at you like you're beautiful, you know? And it's, it's a reflection. It's a reflection on them. It's got nothing to do, and it goes back to that discipline from answering the first question that you said, holy fuck, he, he's got the discipline or she has a discipline to sit here with all of us while we're drinking, we're doing all this stuff and they're not.

• 34:38Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  Like, man, I wish, I, I wish, I wish, I wish I had that. So what, instead of saying they wish they had that, they start to attack you. And it's, they're not attacking you, they're attacking themselves. They're attacking what they lack in themselves because you have something or developed something, as Andrew would say, that they haven't developed.

• 34:57Andy Frisella?

  Well, dude, think about this too, man. Okay?

• 35:02Andy Frisella?

  Let's just say hypothetically, let's say Bill Belichick won one Super Bowl. Let's say Nick Saban won one national title. For most people, that's what they hang their hat on for their entire life. And while that is a pinnacle achievement, there will come a time where people stop fucking talking about it. And what we're talking about on this show always is greatness. We're not talking about winning once, we're talking about greatness. And if you want people to care about your greatness, winning one time is not enough for that. You have to cross the line from good to great to iconic.

• 35:45Andy Frisella?

  And the way that you get there is by winning so undeniably consistently long that eventually when you do, like Nick Saban now as a commentator, when Nick Saban walks in the motherfucking room, there is no, it's not, oh, Nick won this championship and that championship. They just look at him and say, that's the fucking greatest motherfucker ever.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  It's fucking Nick Saban.

• 36:07Andy Frisella?

  Okay, that's fucking Nick Saban. And that's the recognition that y'all want from winning once, but it doesn't come from winning once. It comes from a lifetime of winning. And that's what you have to understand. So if you truly want to, because like dude, that's a, that's a real thing, okay? Some people, the, the recognition is very important to them. Some people don't give a shit, some people just play for the game. That's how I am, I don't give a fuck about who, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. And it's hard for people to understand that that's real because they, they care. But there is people, one of the six human needs is significance. They want the recognition, they want those things. That's a big driver for a lot of people.

• 36:48Andy Frisella?

  Well, if that's really a driver for you, you have to understand that what you're seeking will not come from winning one time. It will not come from that, it will come from a lifetime of winning to the point where, you know, Nick Saban is 70 years old.

• 37:06Andy Frisella?

  And he's considered, he's for Nick Saban could disappear and never say another word in public, never, and he's going to be considered one of the greatest that ever did it.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  I know.

• 37:16Andy Frisella?

  Period. Okay. John Wooden, same thing. The guy wins, you know, what was it? Nine out of 11 years in a row, he wins a national title. Um, that's the level of winning. It takes decades, bro, to create the level of recognition that significant seeking people are actually looking for from winning once. And that's, that's a, that's a big disparity. You have to commit yourself. And the only way to get to that, because you know, this, this guy said, oh, well, I was a little bit offended, but I kind of understand what he was trying to say. Well, that tells me that you, recognition is important to you. Okay?

• 37:53Speaker 02

  It's probably also your first win.

• 37:54Andy Frisella?

  Okay. Okay. But dude, but dude, that's where most people fuck it up.

• 37:58Speaker 02

  He hasn't gotten his first win yet.

• 38:00Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  That's what I'm trying to, he's looking for recognition and look for, and he hasn't even, he hasn't even gotten it yet. He hasn't even gotten it yet. You know, comment back in two weeks and show us proof that this actually, that this actually happened. Don't create something with fucking AI. All right. Show us that this actually happened because there's somebody in this office that's going to call and find out if we can actually verify this thing or not.

• 38:28Andy Frisella?

  I mean, dude, how many times we seen this in sports, bro? The guy, the guy, uh, he's wide open. He's running in the field. He starts to celebrate and he's throwing the ball. He's got the ball hanging out and some dude whacks it away. Okay. Like that can happen. That, that happens all the fucking time. Okay. In life, it happens way more than it does in sports, especially in business. My recommendation is for you to be real with yourself about what it is you're doing this for and why you're doing it. I'm not here to judge why you're doing it. Okay. Certain people do things for impact. Certain people do things for their own benefit. Certain people do things for recognition. Whatever it is, the ultimate reality of all of that is that a lot of good comes from winning. So we're

• 39:13Andy Frisella?

  not here to judge the moral, uh, positioning of why you're trying to win. I don't give a fuck. Okay. I know why I want to win and why you want to win might be different. Winning, winning runs the world, bro. Okay. Like winning runs the world. That's the thing that you have to understand. And for you.

• 39:36Andy Frisella?

  As someone who is seeking significance and recognition to get the level of recognition that you are seeking, you are gonna have to win for a long fucking time.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:44Andy Frisella?

  Okay, a long time, a long time. We're not talking one win, we're not talking two wins. Okay, I had a quote go viral the other day, it's like, like, no, nobody gets lucky for 27 fucking years in a row, bro. Okay, like, I win, motherfucker, like, I'm a fucking winner. Like, if you, if you had me as an enemy, you should probably pick a different one.

• 40:07Speaker 02

  Just quit.

• 40:08Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Just go pick someone else, okay? Learn from me, model me, this, that, the other, you try to compete with me, I'm gonna run you the fuck over, dude.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  And they wanna know, listen, what, people can look at what he just says as arrogance.

• 40:26Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:26Speaker 02

  It, it, it's confidence, alright, and then you know, huh, you know what?

• 40:31Andy Frisella?

  It's only arrogance when you haven't proven it.

• 40:32Speaker 02

  Right, and here's the thing, here's the thing, you know what, you know what, winning is a drug dealer for confidence. The more you win, the more confident you are.

• 40:41Andy Frisella?

  Dude, and not only that, see, I understand what I'm prepared to do.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:44Andy Frisella?

  Like, I know, like, okay, if I'm gonna take a big L, let's just say I take a big fucking L, let's say all my companies implode and fucking, it doesn't matter, because I'm going to fucking go back to where I was with the knowledge that I have, and I'm gonna keep going. And so while you may think, in your mind, that you're beating me today, I can promise you that unless you are fully committed to go your entire life, I'm gonna fucking end up ahead of you.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:15Andy Frisella?

  And that's, that's just reality, dude, and that's not for everybody. Not everybody's like that. It's perfectly okay to build something and go through a different season of life and this and that, but like, you have to understand, dude, the fucking psychopaths that get the recognition that you're fucking after, these motherfuckers are wired for one thing, okay? They might not be the best dad, they may not be the best fucking family guy, they may not be the, the, the nicest person, I don't fucking know, it could be all kinds of different things.

• 41:47Andy Frisella?

  But that level of recognition comes from a psychopathic commitment to doing whatever the fuck you've gotta do. And yes, you should do it with class. You should do it with a set of moral standards. You should do it the right way. Treat people good. All of these things matter. But my point is, is that true recognition for being great does not come from one win. And if you're driven by recognition, you should be the kind of person that you have to be the kind of person that is consistently setting the bar higher and higher and higher.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Let me ask you guys this real quick on this. We were talking about this the other day in the locker room. Is winning relative? Is it relative?

• 42:30Andy Frisella?

  What do you mean?

• 42:31Speaker 01

  Like, is it like, you know, a win for me is a win for me. It may not be

• 42:33Andy Frisella?

  Oh, no, dude. Yeah.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  You know, we were just talking about

• 42:36Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, sometimes like, dude, like, like, I forget that sometimes.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:41Andy Frisella?

  Like, sometimes, like, people will tell me their wins. And I'm like, the fuck you talking about? Like, that's, that's easy for me.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:49Andy Frisella?

  And we have to understand that that probably wasn't easy for me

• 42:53Speaker 01

  For them.

• 42:53Andy Frisella?

  when I first started.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  Started, yeah.

• 42:55Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so you do lose sight of that sometimes as you go down the path. I'm guilty of that.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:01Andy Frisella?

  For sure. Like, I, sometimes I have people tell me things that were a big win to them. And I'm like, I have to remind myself, like, bro, this is, this is you 20 years ago. This is you fucking 25 years ago. So, yes, the wins are relative, and they teach you, like Tim said, the confidence a little bit at a time. What was a win for me, fucking 20 years ago, is something that now, like, I, it's like, I don't even, it like, doesn't even

• 43:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. It might even be considered a loss at this point.

• 43:33Andy Frisella?

  Well, no, I'm just saying, like, the, look, man, I'm talking about the mental overcoming. Okay, like,

• 43:41Andy Frisella?

  Like dude, I'll just give you an example. Like, like I used to have no control over my food. None, none. Okay, none. Like when I look at, like when I say, hey, man, fuck that shit. That's the attitude that I had to develop to get past it. Okay.

• 43:57Andy Frisella?

  If I walked by, like if people invited me to dinner.

• 44:01Andy Frisella?

  Like dude, you know me, you've been at dinner with me 4,000 times. I order the same fucking thing everywhere I go. Okay, I, I order clean food. It's, I don't even think about it. Like I don't look at the rest of the menu. Back when I first started that.

• 44:16Andy Frisella?

  You know, I'd open up the menu and then I automatically start like justifying, oh, I want the, I wanted the, the nachos and I want this. You know what? I'll start tomorrow. And like the brain automatically started the lie. Now, it doesn't even, it's not even a thought. So this is the benefit of developing this discipline muscle that we're talking about. And so, yeah, dude, the first time that I went into a restaurant and I ordered what the fuck I was supposed to order versus what I wanted to, I walked out of that restaurant and being like, fuck dude. I can't believe I, I did that.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  It's a fucking win.

• 44:52Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's a huge win. It's a huge win. So sometimes reality, these things that seem like they're not a big deal are really setting the foundation for you to be able to make the decisions that are a big deal. And so you can't discount someone else's small wins against, you know, your scale of winning. Like I said, and sometimes I forget that, right? Cause like dude, I know what it's like, bro. Like I know what it's like. I know what it's like. And I know what people are capable of. I, I know who I am. I know how regular I am. I know how not gifted I am.

• 45:32Andy Frisella?

  And, and, and when I look at someone, like I understand because I'm seeing myself.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:38Andy Frisella?

  Right? So like, when people hear me and they're like, man, he's really fucking hard on people and this and that. No, dude, I'm just telling you the truth about yourself because I've been there and I understand. Like, and, and you could sit there and say, but Andy, no dude, there's no buts. You are capable, you are far more capable of what you think you are. You just haven't been able to overcome the small little decisions that start to build this up. And again, this is, I'm not trying to make this a pitch for 75 hard, but this is why the program exists. Because it teaches you how to do these things in 75 fucking days. Okay. And then once you, like, there's no program that's ever been developed or will ever be developed

• 46:23Andy Frisella?

  that can create that kind of progress in that short of amount of time mentally. You, you can't learn that shit any other way. So, you know, it, it, what we're talking about here is a few different things. The recognition that this is something that you can build. The understanding of who you are and what honestly motivates you. Okay. Like what are you actually after? And it can't be what you, it can't be what you think everybody wants you to say. Like it's gotta be the real shit. What do you really want? I know some very successful people that are, they are highly driven by recognition.

• 47:08Andy Frisella?

  I think the shit's stupid. I'm like, I like, I, but that's what drives them. And because that drives them, they make the right decisions. And then those right decisions compound and it creates a life that ultimately inspires people to go after the same thing. So like, if we're being real, you know, this moral posturing about why, why did you do this? So, dude, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. What matters is, is that the outcome happens because the outcome is what inspires other people to understand that it's possible, which is ultimately what I believe our duty is as humans. We are writing a story of inspiration with our own existence.

• 47:52Andy Frisella?

  And you can preach it, you can talk it, you can go on stage, you can show slides, you can do all this shit. But at the end of the day. None of that shit matters if the outcome's not real. So like, you know, like a lot of people are like, I want to be a professional speaker. Okay, well, you understand that you can talk all that shit you want, bro. But that's a temporary thing that you say, oh, I really want to help people. Well, unless you've created the outcome for them to see in that life of yours that they want. That fucking little blurb that you don't care how good you are at saying it, that's temporary. It's temporary. So you have to be able to understand that, like, dude, we're the artists.

• 48:34Andy Frisella?

  And we have this canvas and our job is to paint what the fuck we can in a certain amount of time. And time is running out. So are you going to draw what everybody else drew? Just because it's easy and it's comfortable? Are you going to be honest with yourself and say, this is what I actually want? This is who I actually want to be. This is the outcome I actually want to create. And this is what drives me to create that outcome. And then understand what's going to do that for you and then be able to go do it.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  I love it, man.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  I think where he gets frustrated and when you talk about the wins is

• 49:11Speaker 02

  you're not frustrated with the win. You want to know what's next.

• 49:15Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  That's the frustration. That's the frustration. Great. You had this right. But if you talk about, man, I just got this win and now I'm about to, you'd be like, yeah.

• 49:26Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  It's just when they stop, right? You're like, okay, you just stop. It's like when people tell you.

• 49:29Andy Frisella?

  It's because I know they're going to go backwards.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  Right. Yeah. So, you know, it's like people always talk about their hopes and dreams. I was like, dude, I want to hear about your hopes and dreams. I want to hear about your decisions and actions. That's the next conversation. That's the next conversation.

• 49:41Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  You know, my hope, you know, hope is not a strategy. You know, my dream, listen. First of all, for your dream to become a reality, it's got to be a nightmare first. You got to go through the nightmare.

• 49:52Andy Frisella?

  Fuck, yeah.

• 49:53Speaker 02

  You got to go, you got to go, you got to go through the nightmare, you know? And in the book Winning, I talk about, hey, listen, you know, your nightmares, they're the ones that come visit you. On a regular basis, they're the ones that keep you up late at night. They're the ones that, you know, take away from time for, from, from your family and all this other thing. Cause you have this, you have this, you have this vision, you have this nightmare going on in your, in your head. And I said, I got, I gotta, I gotta figure, I gotta figure, figure this, figure this out. And most people, they turn around and put the fucking pillow over their head or take something to like make it go away. And you wake up, you're in this, you're not in the, I won't even say you're in the same position. You're actually in a worse position because that day is not gone.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  And the next day is gonna be gone and the next day is gonna be gone and the next day is gonna be gone. And like you said, Monday turns into a Monday and turns into a Monday. And you have fit, you have what, you have 52 Mondays in a year? All right, that's not a lot.

• 50:50Andy Frisella?

  No, man.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  It's our, it's, it's literally gonna be, we're already, this year is already almost half done.

• 50:56Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  It's literally, it's literally all, all, all half done. Look at, you look at, how old are your brother's kids now?

• 51:04Andy Frisella?

  Uh, nine, oldest nine. Nine, six, seven. Seven.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  I remember like, yeah, and you look, and people like, what, what hap, you look at me like, what happened? That's how quick this goes by, like, what happened?

• 51:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. All right. And that's a perspective that you can't have until enough times pass.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 51:23Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. And so like, it's very important, I think one of the biggest lies when it comes to winning is that, like, there's a finish line. There's not a fucking finish line, bro. There, there's things along the way that happen that are great. But the minute you get to the finish line, remember, doesn't matter, you sold your business, you, you, you won the trophy. You won the championship, whatever it is, man. The minute that the finish line is crossed and you decide that that's the finish line, you're going to have to deal with.

• 51:58Andy Frisella?

  A couple of different things. One, are you okay with that? Is that, are you, are you good with what you accomplished? Because if you're not, then it's going to eat you forever. Okay?

• 52:09Speaker 02

  Ain't gonna be shit you can do about it.

• 52:10Andy Frisella?

  No, without start, you gotta start again. And it's really hard to get started again, once you've stopped. All right? If you get to a point, and like I said, there's seasons in life, right? There's times where, you know, like I know guys who have built companies and then they've sold them and then they've turned their focus into something else, but that's something else is also a new thing to master, right? Like I've got a buddy of mine who, well, MJ does this. The, the, okay, he retires as the greatest player of all time. Well, now he's figured out, I'm going to compete in fishing. I'm going to compete in NASCAR.

• 52:52Andy Frisella?

  Okay. And those, that, so like now he's working to do this other thing. Right? And if we don't have that next thing, you have to understand that your story is over. And you have to be okay with that. That part is closed. And I think a lot of people, they mistakenly think that they're going to get to a number or they're going to get to a, a, a, it's usually a number. But a point where that itch is scratched, but if you're truly built for the game, that itch, that itch is never fucking scratched, dude. And the minute you try to fit into the boundary of everybody else just kind of cruising, you're going to self-destruct.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  Whether you, you like him or not. Look at Elon.

• 53:35Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Whether you like him or not.

• 53:36Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 53:37Speaker 02

  If it's, it's not a political thing.

• 53:39Andy Frisella?

  No.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  All right.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Bandit doesn't have to do anything ever again.

• 53:44Andy Frisella?

  No.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  And he's constantly.

• 53:46Andy Frisella?

  Still going.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  Keep, keep going.

• 53:48Andy Frisella?

  But you gotta know yourself, dude. Like, that's the thing. It's like, you gotta know yourself, man. You know, there's a number of days.

• 53:57Andy Frisella?

  Like this happens to me all the time, man. Like I go home and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing all this for? Like especially on the hard days. I'm like, why am I, why am I fucking doing, I don't have to fucking do this.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  Everybody has doubt. Everybody at some point ha- ha- has, has that, has that doubt.

• 54:12Andy Frisella?

  At all points, at all levels.

• 54:15Speaker 02

  At all, all levels, exactly. That you question yourself. Why in the fuck, but you know what? When you question yourself, you have the fucking answer.

• 54:21Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  You have the answer from everything that you've built all, all the way. You look at, you look at, what would it be like if I didn't do it? And what if I, it looks like if I keep going? And you're like, yeah, this is not even an option. But that conversation is short, but we've all had that conversation on a regular basis and you, and people think we don't. We don't, we don't have, we have those conversations all the fucking time.

• 54:46Andy Frisella?

  Dude, and the answer, the answer is, it goes like this.

• 54:52Andy Frisella?

  Okay, I understand this is frustrating. This is hard. Let's say you did stop. What are you gonna do? And if you can't answer that question about what are you gonna do, you shouldn't stop. Because that's where you self-destruct.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:06Andy Frisella?

  You know, I've seen so many entrepreneurs. You know, fuck athletes too, dude. Like,

• 55:15Andy Frisella?

  get to a point where they feel like, okay, I've done what I can do. But again, the, the recognition that they're after and what they're after, or the impact they're after, hasn't truly materialized yet. And then they stop, they take a break. And then if you want to start again, it, it's like just as hard as starting from the beginning.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:34Andy Frisella?

  So you have to like, know yourself and you have to know what it is you want if you are gonna pivot into that next thing. For a lot of people, you know, the, the pivoting into that next thing comes too early. Okay? You haven't really won yet. You haven't, y- y- you did a couple of things good. Okay? You made a couple bucks. You, you did a couple of things. You sell your shit, you get out, whatever. And you think that you're gonna go like sit on a beach, bro. And I'm gonna tell you, you're gonna like that for about three fucking days. And actually, you're probably gonna like it for about one day. Because the second day, you're gonna be like, oh, okay. What am I gonna do next? You know, and like, and then the third day, you're like, I'm not doing anything.

• 56:19Andy Frisella?

  This sucks. Like, and you know, this, if you're already in a point, and it doesn't matter what level you're at, dude. If you're already at a point where you're thinking about

• 56:34Andy Frisella?

  your life as what can I achieve? What can I do? What can I build? What can I create? You've got the bug, bro. You're built different than everybody else. Most people that thought never even goes into their mind. They live like everybody else. They do what everybody else does. They measure their standards of success the same way that everybody else does. And they never reel with themselves about what they really want. And because that happens, they end up living a life that at the end of it, they're like, well, I didn't do anything. Well, the guy who's unaware, and this is why awareness is a really, it's a, it's a, it's a plus and a minus sometimes. But when you have the awareness

• 57:14Andy Frisella?

  and you don't exercise your capabilities, it will destroy you. When you don't have the awareness and you live in ignorance and which is fucking okay. That's why the saying exists ignorance is bliss. Those people can live their whole lives and at the end of it, they, they don't even like question. They say, oh, my life was great.

• 57:33Speaker 02

  He lived a great life.

• 57:33Andy Frisella?

  That's right. That's right. But if you're not wired for that, dude, you're gonna be the guy at the end of your life saying, fuck, I fucking didn't do anything I wanted to do. So like, you gotta really be honest with yourself, man. And if you're already asking the question, that means you got it, right? Cause most people never ask it.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  Everything's impossible till somebody does it first.

• 57:55Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man.

• 57:57Speaker 01

  I love it. Guys, we got one more.

• 57:58Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  Third and final question, guys. Question number three. Andy, I had this realization recently that I spend a lot of time talking about the person I want to become. But my daily habits still look a lot like the old version of me. And that gap between who I say I want to be and how I actually live is starting to bother me. Was there a moment for you where you realized you had to completely change your identity and not just your habits?

• 58:28Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's what I just said. It's when you become aware of it.

• 58:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:34Andy Frisella?

  The minute you become aware that you aren't living and you aren't becoming and you aren't creating who you want to be and what you want to do and you do nothing about it. That is the first day of the rest of your life of a miserable, bitter, unfulfilling, frustrating hell that you will try to escape or convince yourself that you, you know, should be this other way. So like the minute that you become aware of this, you have to go, dude. You have to go because you're now you now you could see shit you couldn't see. So for me, you know, there's been a couple of different moments.

• 59:18Andy Frisella?

  I could tell you the most pivotal moment for me. Um, you know, when I grew up, I always wanted to be successful. I, I didn't want to depend on anybody. I, I knew inherently, I felt it my whole life that I was supposed to do something different. I could feel it even when I was a little kid.

• 59:41Andy Frisella?

  When I got to be 36 years old, I, I was already worth, you know, nine figures. I had built what most people would say, like we talked about earlier. I had a one.

• 59:54Speaker 01

  You did pretty good.

• 59:55Andy Frisella?

  Okay, right, right. Except I was looking in the mirror and I was 350 pounds. And I realized that if I did not change who I was, the best thing that I would have ever achieved in my life was making a few dollars. And I was 36 years old. And I started seeing myself, okay, well, where am I going to be at 46? Well, I'm going to be 450 pounds? And then I was like, well, where am I going to be at 50? And I'm like, oh, fuck. I'm gonna be dead.

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, those people don't last long.

• 1:00:28Andy Frisella?

  Right, so, so for me, I, I realized that. And then I also realized that it wasn't fair to all the people that had helped me, believed in me, who had bet on me with their careers, that this was just about me. And I knew that I had to fix my shit. I knew I had to transform and become the best I could because dude, I was honest with myself. I, I knew that I wasn't good. I'm not good enough to compete. I'm not good enough to compete. That's what you guys got to understand. I'm not good enough to compete unless I'm the best that I can be. There's other people that are smarter than me.

• 1:01:13Andy Frisella?

  There's other people that are more gifted than me. There's other people that have better relationships than me. There's all these things, these, I'm aware of this, okay? But the one thing that I could control is how fucking hard I go and how well I control the things that are within my control. And I am willing to bet that there are very few people on this motherfucking planet that are more in control of those things than I am. And that's when I say like, hey, you might be beating me today, but this is temporary. You should enjoy it today because eventually I'm going to pass you because I understand who I am now. And I understand that I can control all of the controllables in my life at this point

• 1:01:57Andy Frisella?

  in time without really even thinking about it. And that's what happens when you create tremendous discipline muscle, okay? It gives you a superpower because every single time it gets hard or even somebody who's conditioned for hard things, there will be a point that fucking breaks them. And I am unbreakable, bro. I'm unfucking breakable at this point in my life. So I know.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  I'm gonna stop you right there. The key point of what he just said at this point in this life, because in order to be unbreakable, you have to be broken so many fucking times.

• 1:02:29Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  You have to be broken so many times where they cannot break you anymore.

• 1:02:35Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, dude, and that's, that's just real shit. And there's gonna be more hard times that come my way. There's gonna be, dude, I could get sick. I could get injured. I'm gonna have people close to me that are probably gonna fucking die. I, I understand these things. I, I understand that that's gonna happen, but.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  And I'm at that age where.

• 1:02:55Speaker 02

  People I know, contacts I have in my phone, people I know personally, people I've done business with are starting to pass.

• 1:03:03Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. And dude, and but you're a realist about it.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:08Andy Frisella?

  Okay, like,

• 1:03:11Andy Frisella?

  you, if you can build yourself into that, which you can, all of you can, there's nothing that can stop you, dude. Like, there's nothing that can stop someone who has built themselves into somebody that cannot be broken. You can't stop them. You can't stop them. It doesn't matter what storm comes their way. It doesn't matter what tragedy comes their way. It doesn't matter what hardship comes their way. They will continue to wake up and they will do what they can. They will control what they can. And eventually they will overcome. And that should be the goal for every single person listening. You have to become the kind of person that it does not fucking matter what is happening in your life.

• 1:03:54Andy Frisella?

  It doesn't matter. You are still going to keep pushing. You are still going to wake up. And when you become that, that person is unbeatable. Because everybody else, and this is especially relevant to these, like, a lot of times when you're young, you look around. I did this too. You look around and you're like, man, that guy's fucking parents invested in his business. You know, that guy got lucky here. He had this happen or that happen. You know what the biggest blessing for me has been in my entire life? Nothing came easy. Nothing.

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  Not having any of that.

• 1:04:32Andy Frisella?

  Nothing came easy. Okay? And that taught me more than anything else. So if you're out there and you're struggling and you're looking around, you're like, but that guy has this and that, that's temporary. Because that motherfucker that had that good thing happen to him that you didn't, when that first storm comes in his life, it's gonna fucking wreck him. You're learning how to overcome these things now. And when you can become this kind of person that is mentally prepared to handle whatever the fuck is thrown their way. I'm not saying you're gonna do it with a smile. I'm not saying that you're not gonna go home and cry. I'm not saying that you're not gonna have a breakdown.

• 1:05:14Andy Frisella?

  But when you're done, you're gonna get the fuck up and you're gonna keep moving. If you can become that kind of person, dude, you can't beat that kind of person. You just can't do it.

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, so this person here, it goes back to what you you had said earlier, and I say this all the time to, we lie to ourselves more than anybody else would ever lie. So when the talk that he's having, he's he's literally, he's literally lying to himself. And when he, when he talks about the self-talk, it's not a self-talk, it's negotiations. He's losing the negotiations with himself every single day or the most of the time. And we all, and you just have to be like, I'm not, I'm not nego, no more negotiations, no more negotiations with my, with my, with myself. They're, are they still gonna be chirping? Yeah, they're still gonna be chirping, they're still gonna, they're, they're still gonna be talking and said, it ain't happening.

• 1:06:03Andy Frisella?

  See dude, I give that, I give that person a name. Okay, I identify that voice. I, I use it for you guys. I call it the bitch voice and the boss voice. If you've read my book, and you've listened to the podcast, when it comes to 75 hard, we talk about the bitch voice and the boss voice. I name that person. I know who that is. That's fat Andy. Okay, fucking fat Andy. That's, that's, that who's fucking talking to me. And when I can name that person, then I can look at that person and be like, fuck you, you fat piece of shit. I'm talking to myself.

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's right, that's right.

• 1:06:38Andy Frisella?

  But when I can like, name it, and I know who's talking to me, it's real easy for me to be like, no, fuck you, dude. Like, I'm not fucking doing that. It's when we don't, when we have trouble identifying this weak person inside of us. Give it a name, dude. Who is it? What's that person's name? Oh, that's fat DJ. Oh, fat DJ is telling me to fucking skip my work. I say, fuck you.

• 1:07:02Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:07:03Andy Frisella?

  Okay, fat DJ is

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  He tried, he tried today, I'm telling you, dude.

• 1:07:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, but he didn't.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  He fucking didn't.

• 1:07:08Andy Frisella?

  And that's what the fuck matters.

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 1:07:10Andy Frisella?

  Okay, give it a name. What is that? Oh, that's weak Suzie. Oh, well, fuck you, weak Suzie.

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:07:17Andy Frisella?

  Oh, that's pussy Peter. You know what I'm saying? Well, fuck you pussy. Like, whatever you gotta do, but like, dude, it's eat, like, you gotta, you gotta learn some fuck you, man.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 1:07:28Andy Frisella?

  And like, dude.

• 1:07:31Andy Frisella?

  You know, maybe there's another way to do it. That's how I fucking do it, you know? But like, I, I know that that fat Andy is in me. He's fucking in me, dude. And he's whispering all the fucking time.

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  All right, listen, when you roll out of bed, there's all those, listen, there's, there's everything that's wait, there's comfort waiting for you. There's negotiations waiting. There's negotiations, there's lazy, there's all, all, all this victim, there's all that stuff. They're way, they're, they're, they're literally waiting at the bed, bed, bedside for you. And I get up every morning, acknowledge him, hello, hello, hello, just fucking keep going.

• 1:08:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:08:07Speaker 02

  How'd you guys sleep? That's not great.

• 1:08:09Andy Frisella?

  And I think that's, I think it's important to understand that never goes away.

• 1:08:13Speaker 02

  It never goes away.

• 1:08:13Andy Frisella?

  It's what you feed. It's like that saying, there's, there's the like, there's the fucking uh, white wolf and there's the dark wolf and whichever one you feed more, whatever the fuck the saying goes, but there's truth to that. Okay. Like dude, there is, there is fucking fat Andy and then there is unbreakable Andy.

• 1:08:34Andy Frisella?

  I answer to unbreakable Andy. I don't answer to fucking fat Andy anymore. Fat Andy fucking cost me decades of my fucking life. Fat Andy cost me tons of pain and tons of frustration and tons of years that I can't get back. I fucking hate that motherfucker. I fucking hate him. And the minute he starts talking to me, I automatically go to fuck you, dude. Fuck you.

• 1:08:57Speaker 02

  And fat Andy's gonna keep talking, keep talking. What do you got? The strong, what do you call the other one?

• 1:09:02Andy Frisella?

  Unbreakable.

• 1:09:03Speaker 02

  Unbreakable Andy's just, just waiting.

• 1:09:05Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  We doing this or not?

• 1:09:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. I, I, I'm not having a conversation with you. You already know, you already, you already know, we doing this or not? All right. And if you're not, I'm still gonna go do this and then you're gonna feel so, you're gonna feel so guilty cuz you, cuz you fucking didn't and it's gonna hurt you over and over and over again.

• 1:09:23Andy Frisella?

  You don't win, you don't win them all, bro.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 1:09:27Andy Frisella?

  If I'm, if I was sitting here. Because this is, this is a game of averages. Okay? You want to win that you want Unbreakable Andy to win 99% of the time. There are going to be times where that weak version of you does fucking win. And like you're talking about Tim, it's going to create so much shame and so much regret that that even creates more fuck you. Like, oh, you fucking got me, motherfucker. That's never happened again, right? Like, and you, you,

• 1:10:02Andy Frisella?

  that to me has been the biggest difference for me is to be able to become aware of these two versions of myself and learn to obey one and to ignore the other. And it's not simply ignoring it. It's like an anger towards it. It's a fucking, it's a fury towards it. It's, it's people, oh, why are you so intense? Because dude, I hate that motherfucker because of what it's cost me. Okay. And though, oh, well, you hate yourself. Yeah, that part of myself I do fucking hate. And that's okay. Because the result of that is so fucking good that it's worth having a little bit of that. And honestly, I don't think, I think that if you don't have a little bit of that,

• 1:10:47Andy Frisella?

  you're, you're kind of fucked. That's my, Or you're lying to yourself. Now, listen, I've lived my whole life being me. Okay? Now, maybe there's other people that don't have that, but I actually think that most of the people that come out and they put on a pretty smile and they act like everything's positive. And you know, you know this too, bro. You get them in fucking private and you get them to tell the truth. They fucking have it too. They just don't fucking show it in the public. They have it. Okay. And I would, I would cultivate that and I would lean into that. And I would identify that because then it helps you not just be aware of your bitch voice and your boss voice, but it's an actual person living inside you that is trying to fuck your life up. What would you do to someone?

• 1:11:32Andy Frisella?

  Who was coming in front of you every day and was trying to get you to do all the wrong shit all the time. You'd be like, dude, get the fuck away from me.

• 1:11:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, fuck off.

• 1:11:41Andy Frisella?

  Right. Like, that's how I treat that version of myself. And that version of myself has gotten quieter and quieter and quieter and weaker and weaker and weaker as I obey the unbreakable part of myself.

• 1:11:54Speaker 01

  But it's never going away.

• 1:11:55Andy Frisella?

  No, it doesn't. And if I start to fucking give into it, you know, one day and then two days and then three days, that weak version of yourself gets much stronger, much quicker than the strong version of yourself. So you gotta understand, it's not equal playing field. Okay? You give that weak motherfucker a few decisions, all of a sudden, bro, he's got some fucking strength back. He doesn't need a lot. You know, this guy over here, he needs a lot. He needs a lot. The, the strong guy needs a lot of investment. The weak guy, he only needs two or three days, bro, to fucking grip your ass right out of it.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  Man, that's so real.

• 1:12:32Andy Frisella?

  It is, bro.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  Like, come on, Andy, man, like, dude, you've been, we've been working for, like, you, bro, we've been on one year fucking streak. We take one night off, bro, come on, man.

• 1:12:39Andy Frisella?

  And you know what? Sometimes I do.

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  But that's your choice.

• 1:12:44Speaker 01

  But I'm gonna say, I was about to do that.

• 1:12:46Speaker 02

  That's your, that's your, that's your, it's your choice.

• 1:12:49Andy Frisella?

  It becomes, it becomes a choice as opposed to, and, and order that you're obeyed.

• 1:12:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. And even that one day, it is not, it's not over the top. It's just, it's just.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've been with this man six years. I've seen it. Yeah, I've seen it.

• 1:13:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it used to be over the top. And now it's no longer this, alright, I'm cool. Like you said, a beer or whatever it is, I'm good.

• 1:13:11Andy Frisella?

  You start to recognize the slippage really quick.

• 1:13:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:14Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying? Like, I think, I think one of the biggest things to, to recognize here is that when you're kind of just starting to identify these things and build them up, it's hard for you to recognize the, the backward slips. You're not understanding how fast it can get out of control.

• 1:13:28Speaker 02

  Well, if you look at a place, you look at, I, the one thing I always marvel, every time I come, I come, I come here to headquarters, is how spotless this place is. Just apps, every single room, every single corner, every, it is spotless. So you see some dirt on the floor, it's easy to identify. It's easy to identify. Alright?

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  If you, if your place inside of you,

• 1:13:57Speaker 02

  your mindset, whatever, is totally dirty all the time, it's very hard to find what you're looking, what you're looking for. And that's what it is. It just takes a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. You let one thing slip, you let one thing slip here, you let one thing slip here, then another thing slips. It's, there's no negotiations. This is what we do. This is how places are gonna be run. I was looking at the sign in your, in your weight room. First day, 30 day suspension. Second, you're terminated. That's it.

• 1:14:27Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. That's it, man.

• 1:14:28Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 1:14:29Andy Frisella?

  Those are the standards.

• 1:14:30Speaker 02

  So that's it. And there's no negotiations. There's no nothing. Here are the 10 steps. This is what I want you to do. There's, there's no exceptions here. Here, here it is. And if you don't do it, these are the consequences. If you continue to do it, these are the, these are the rewards. That's it.

• 1:14:47Andy Frisella?

  Dude, and also I think it's important to recognize that the more you obey the boss version of you. Okay. When you talk about changing your identity, all right, that first little victory is not gonna change your identity. All right. The identity changes after you've overcome test after test after test after test over a period of time.

• 1:15:13Andy Frisella?

  And then it becomes your identity, which becomes the standard. Okay. And when your standard resets, you are far less likely to move back to who you used to be. So when you say, when did you have to, or did you have to, you know, completely change your identity? I made the decision that I was going to change my identity. But my identity didn't actually change until I had created a track record to where I could be like, all right, I am who the fuck I think I am. With the caveat of understanding that I could very easily be that person that I used to hate very quickly. All right.

• 1:15:55Andy Frisella?

  So yes, you can change who the fuck you are today in your brain. But it's going to be a fragile decision. Okay?

• 1:16:06Andy Frisella?

  What you live in currently, no matter if it's good or bad, was created by a past version of you. All right, that version of you literally created the outcome that you live in today. And that is why your identity, if you are not doing well, feels like, well, my identity is like losing. All right?

• 1:16:28Andy Frisella?

  When you make that decision, and you say, this is enough. Yes, you are technically no longer who the fuck you were, but that hasn't cemented yet. That hasn't become like as permanent as we want it to be. It's never fully permanent. Okay? The strongest foundation can still be fucking cracked.

• 1:16:52Andy Frisella?

  But as you go down the path, it becomes stronger and stronger and stronger. And eventually, you say something like I just said, where like, I'm fucking unbreakable, dude. I'm fucking unbreakable. I don't give a shit what the fuck happens. And I'm sure there's going to be tests that come my way that are going to challenge that. I know there are because that's what life is. I've had it happen to me over and over and over again.

• 1:17:15Andy Frisella?

  But I've done enough and I've pushed through enough of those to know who the fuck I really am. Okay, and you have to be able to invest in that identity, not just say, this is who I am. Okay, that's the biggest difference. But I'm going to tell you something, dude.

• 1:17:36Andy Frisella?

  You're aware of this now. This person is, you're aware of this. If you don't go, the rest of your life is going to fucking suck. The minute that light bulb turns on and you're like, oh, man, I'm not living to what I should be. I'm not who I should be. I'm not this. Oh, I like to have this or that. That's awareness creeping into you. And that's a great thing. But it's a terrible thing if you're not willing to fucking into it and build something around it. Because you will fucking suffer your entire life. And that is very important for you to understand. Once you become aware of what it is you're supposed to be and you do not pursue that. You are at the beginning of however many years you have left on this planet of living hell. For real.

• 1:18:21Andy Frisella?

  And that's a very important thing for you to understand. You don't have a fucking choice, dude. For whatever reason, God shined a light on you and said, this is what you could be. Even if it was a fleeting thought, even if it was something that just like.

• 1:18:36Andy Frisella?

  And there's nothing you can do about it, bro. You already seen it. So now you can't unsee it.

• 1:18:40Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:18:40Andy Frisella?

  You know?

• 1:18:41Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:18:41Speaker 02

  DJ, how much weight have you lost?

• 1:18:44Speaker 01

  Uh, in total, I'm at a, I'm at like a hundred and five right now.

• 1:18:47Speaker 02

  Hundred and five. Alright, you lost a hundred and five pounds. Basically lost a person. Alright.

• 1:18:56Speaker 02

  Everything now that the weight is off is better for you to do.

• 1:19:02Speaker 01

  Oh, 100%. Everything. Everything.

• 1:19:04Andy Frisella?

  Well, yeah.

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. Everything. Shopping, fucking nighttime, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:19:10Andy Frisella?

  Everything.

• 1:19:11Speaker 02

  Everything.

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  Everything.

• 1:19:14Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro. It's, it's, it's, it's worth it.

• 1:19:17Speaker 02

  That, that's all, but it's, it's.

• 1:19:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, buy some new clothes. That's about it. You know what I'm saying? Shit's falling off on me, but.

• 1:19:23Andy Frisella?

  What Tim's saying is like, there's, it's not like there's not a reward here.

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 1:19:28Andy Frisella?

  Like.

• 1:19:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:19:31Andy Frisella?

  The progress that you make is the reward. It's not a, it's not a finish line. It's not, it's not a fucking number. It's not a check. It's not a trophy. It's who the fuck you are, bro. That's the reward. The reward is knowing who the fuck you are and being proud of who you are. Because you have the awareness of what you could become and you chose to become it. That's the fucking reward, man. And eventually, you know what? You're gonna make money. You know what's gonna happen too? You're gonna lose money. Okay? You know what I mean? Like, you're, you're gonna, you're gonna go through the ups and downs and this and that. That's not, that's not the dictation of, of, of your greatness, dude. Your personal greatness comes from your ability to get the fuck up and keep moving.

• 1:20:15Andy Frisella?

  And, and the real world, when we talk about competing. That's why it makes you such a formidable competitor. Because while other people stop and celebrate, or other people break down when the storm comes, you don't. And when you're that person, you cannot be beat, you cannot be caught, people can't make up ground on you. And once you get ahead, and you will, because everybody else will naturally quit, or fall off, or stop moving, you get so far ahead to where it becomes, the ground cannot be made up.

• 1:20:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. You know, if you're just aware of your surroundings and where the people you're around, everybody looks for individuals who are really successful to inspire them and so forth. Sometimes you just need to look at somebody and say, "I'm fucking losing to that." Like, seriously, I'm losing to that. You look at it, literally, I'm literally losing, that's what I'm fucking losing to.

• 1:21:10Andy Frisella?

  I'm losing to a fucking bucket of beers. I'm losing to a pizza. I'm losing to that fucking shitty version of myself that I see in the mirror. I'm losing to that dude?

• 1:21:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:24Andy Frisella?

  I'm losing to that? Are you fucking kidding, bro? Come on. We're all better than that. Every single one of you listening, we're all better than that. You just have to look at it the right way, man. And like, what you're describing, and this is why it resonates so well with relentless and winning and everything that you're about, Tim, is because ultimately, that's the message. You are losing to your fucking self. You're not losing to other people. Are you in a competition with other people? Yeah, probably. If you're in a business, absolutely. If you're an athlete, absolutely.

• 1:22:01Speaker 02

  You're gonna lose to them too.

• 1:22:02Andy Frisella?

  Yes. But the reason that you are losing to them is because you're losing to yourself first. And that's the responsibility part, that's the accountability part. And you ask, "When I change?" I changed when I made my wife take a picture of me. And, actually, I can tell you exactly when I changed. I can tell you fucking exactly. I was on a fucking private jet.

• 1:22:28Andy Frisella?

  And the dude asked me if I need a seatbelt extender.

• 1:22:30Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 1:22:31Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:33Andy Frisella?

  It's fucking, I got so fucking pissed off, dude. Like, I wanted to fucking kill the.

• 1:22:39Speaker 02

  Did you need one?

• 1:22:40Andy Frisella?

  No, I didn't.

• 1:22:41Speaker 02

  I was just checking.

• 1:22:42Andy Frisella?

  The fact that he thought I did.

• 1:22:43Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:22:44Andy Frisella?

  Dude, it made me so angry. And for like 10 minutes. This was at the beginning of the flight, right?

• 1:22:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:22:53Andy Frisella?

  So for like the first 10 minutes of the fucking flight. I was like, I'm gonna fucking choke this motherfucker the next time he walks by.

• 1:23:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:01Andy Frisella?

  And, and I, and then, you know, he went up in the cockpit, you know, and, and it was a private flight. And I'm looking at Emily and I'm like, I can't fucking believe that motherfucker. And I started to get embarrassed about what I was saying. I started to get like, dude, it's not, it's not his fault you're fucking fat.

• 1:23:16Speaker 02

  He knew you, he knew.

• 1:23:17Andy Frisella?

  I knew he was right. I knew he was right. And, and by the time I had landed on that flight.

• 1:23:25Andy Frisella?

  I had made up my mind.

• 1:23:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:26Andy Frisella?

  And there was no fucking option.

• 1:23:28Speaker 02

  So we were, I, I don't know, we were doing, um. We had to, we had a, an engagement at some island. I can't remember where, I can't remember where it was.

• 1:23:37Andy Frisella?

  It wasn't Epstein's.

• 1:23:45Speaker 02

  It was, it was one of the, it was, it was one of the, it was a prop, it was a prop plane and they were taking everybody's, they asked everybody how much you weigh and they had everybody step on a scale and so forth. Cause there was a lot of big people.

• 1:23:57Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:58Speaker 02

  And they had to distribute, like, you can't sit, like, if you were traveling with somebody, you can't sit here, you gotta.

• 1:24:02Andy Frisella?

  Oh, my God, trying to even out the plane.

• 1:24:04Speaker 02

  They're trying to even, they're trying to even out, they're trying to even out the plane.

• 1:24:07Andy Frisella?

  Oh, man.

• 1:24:08Speaker 02

  And, and they, and they, they looked at share myself, they said, you know, you guys just come on, we don't. We'll fit you guys in where.

• 1:24:14Andy Frisella?

  I'm sure you were embarrassed as fuck for those other people though, weren't you?

• 1:24:17Speaker 02

  I'm just like.

• 1:24:19Speaker 02

  And, and, and, but I'm just, the situation's just like, you gotta look at something, man, I'm literally. That's, that's what, that's what I'm losing to. There's so many people out, listen. There's so many people that inspire me every single day not to be like them.

• 1:24:37Andy Frisella?

  Oh, man.

• 1:24:38Speaker 02

  Everyone's you, you know, there's a few people you wanna be like, but if you literally look at it, he said, there's so many, there's more people that will inspire you, just look at it. I don't want that. It's not the life I want. I don't wanna look like that. I don't wanna feel like that. I don't wanna do it. That should be, if that ain't enough, I don't know what the hell, what the hell is. And exactly what you said, you're losing to, you're losing to, you know, a glass of beer, you're losing to a pizza, you're losing to it, you're losing to a hot dog. And there are gonna be times that you lose. I talk about this all the time. Fuck it. Every time I go to Costco and I'm checking out, that fucking menu is calling me. Come on over here, dollar fifty hot dog, pizza.

• 1:25:19Andy Frisella?

  That's good prices.

• 1:25:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, great. And sometimes it wins. I'm not gonna lie to you, sometimes it wins. All right, and then, and then I just look at myself. I was like, what the fuck did I just do?

• 1:25:35Andy Frisella?

  Sometimes when you get really good, what'll happen is you'll take a bite of that, first bite of that pizza, you're, no, fuck that.

• 1:25:41Speaker 02

  No more. Well, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:43Andy Frisella?

  That happened to me with that, with a beer. I, I was about to have a beer, it was probably four or five months ago. I was up at Billy G's, I ordered a beer. I took one drink of it, and I went, no, fuck that. I don't want that.

• 1:25:57Speaker 02

  So it's, listen, we're, we're no different than anybody else who's listening to this show. We go through the same trials and tribulations. We've probably gone through more.

• 1:26:07Andy Frisella?

  Well, that's what makes you more powerful.

• 1:26:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:09Andy Frisella?

  You should lean into those storms.

• 1:26:11Speaker 02

  All the time.

• 1:26:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:13Speaker 02

  All, all, all, all the time. All right.

• 1:26:15Andy Frisella?

  Dude, I think the thing that is most powerful, though, when you say, "I don't wanna be anything like that motherfucker," is when it's a past version of you.

• 1:26:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:26Andy Frisella?

  Like, when I look at pictures of myself when I was big and fat.

• 1:26:32Andy Frisella?

  Like, bro, I know it sounds harsh. I fucking hate that motherfucker. Like, if that were a physical being, I would literally physically fucking murder them.

• 1:26:44Speaker 02

  Why?

• 1:26:45Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying? But the problem is, that person always lives inside of you and you can't, you can't completely kill it.

• 1:26:51Speaker 02

  You can't completely kill it.

• 1:26:51Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. It's always there.

• 1:26:53Speaker 02

  It's always there.

• 1:26:54Andy Frisella?

  And I think one of the biggest mistakes that people make is they do think that they've conquered that. They think it's, they think it's already been beat. I'm not that person. No, motherfucker, you are that person still. That, this is why people who drink alcohol and they get addicted to alcohol, they have to fucking never drink it again. Because the minute they feed that version of themselves, that version gets like a lot of its power back. And then the minute they do it two or three days in a row, that person's back to full strength.

• 1:27:23Speaker 02

  Well, yeah.

• 1:27:23Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. And, and dude, that's real, that's real shit, man. You don't have to give that weak version of yourself a whole lot. For some reason, that version gets a lot stronger off a little bit than, than the unbreakable version.

• 1:27:37Speaker 01

  That's real, man.

• 1:27:37Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro.

• 1:27:38Speaker 01

  Well, guys, Andy, Tim, my man, that's a hell of a way to, I guess, keep people moving through our business. You know, this is a little mid, midweek special here, man.

• 1:27:47Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:47Speaker 01

  Oh, this was amazing though, man. Guys, really appreciate it.

• 1:27:51Speaker 02

  We got anything else?

• 1:27:52Speaker 01

  No, that was it.

• 1:27:52Speaker 02

  I got a question for you guys.

• 1:27:53Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:54Speaker 02

  All right, this is, and I have been waiting to say, to ask about this. You know, people put out, and this has got nothing to do with the questions. So, people have bucket lists, you know, they always do bucket lists, all right?

• 1:28:07Speaker 02

  Andy, I think you had a bucket list that you might be the only person that ever had this on the list in the world.

• 1:28:17Speaker 02

  And I want to make sure I got this right. Did you two drive a fucking tank to a gas station?

• 1:28:24Andy Frisella?

  Yep, we did.

• 1:28:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, we did, yeah.

• 1:28:26Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, we did, yeah.

• 1:28:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:29Speaker 02

  Who has a kid who makes a bucket list and says, I'm gonna own a tank and I'm gonna drive it to the local gas station and fill it up and drive on?

• 1:28:38Andy Frisella?

  I might, I might be, I mean, we might be the, the only people that ever did that.

• 1:28:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:42Speaker 02

  That's like, yeah. Yeah, I'm like.

• 1:28:44Andy Frisella?

  Like, there's certain, there's certain, like, like, I always think about this. This is like the weirdest thing ever, but like, I think of like sentences that have never been said, like, you know? Like, no one ever said, ever, like,

• 1:28:59Andy Frisella?

  Well, fuck, maybe I'm wrong about this now. But like, no one ever said, I'm gonna take this hatchet and I'm going to cut off my own dick.

• 1:29:10Andy Frisella?

  Apparently someone caught on.

• 1:29:12Speaker 02

  That has definitely been said before.

• 1:29:14Andy Frisella?

  But I always think about like, I always think about weird shit like that. Like, I'm like, okay. Has, and I know for like adventure people, like they're like, has a human being ever stepped on this piece of soil?

• 1:29:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:29:26Andy Frisella?

  Right?

• 1:29:28Andy Frisella?

  And I think about that in terms of like things that have been said, which like creates like all these wild ass things. Like, like what are sentences that have never been said? Like this combination of words has never come out of somebody's mouth ever. And uh, it's funny cause like I, I never thought about that tank thing, but you know, that's gotta be, I mean, if somebody has done that, it's.

• 1:29:49Speaker 02

  I, I.

• 1:29:49Andy Frisella?

  I mean, I'm sure they did it in like wars, right? Like they go in the gas station and they fill up their tank, but I don't think anybody just like did it.

• 1:29:56Speaker 02

  Casually.

• 1:29:56Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:57Speaker 02

  So the next thing is next time you and your wife go out to eat, valet it.

• 1:30:01Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:03Andy Frisella?

  That's something no one's done.

• 1:30:07Andy Frisella?

  They can hit the road.

• 1:30:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. This is like, I'm like, these two motherfuckers. And fill the, I had to watch it again.

• 1:30:15Andy Frisella?

  For our next trick.

• 1:30:19Andy Frisella?

  It's gonna be a Apache.

• 1:30:20Speaker 02

  It's right.

• 1:30:20Andy Frisella?

  Helicopter.

• 1:30:21Speaker 02

  You land it right on the roof.

• 1:30:22Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man. I, I think about weird stuff like that all the time. Like I, I just think like where like, I don't know, you know? I mean, athletes do this, right?

• 1:30:33Speaker 02

  All the time.

• 1:30:34Andy Frisella?

  Like, like how, who, like, look at the four minute mile. No one ever ran a four minute mile. Now it's like, if you're a.

• 1:30:41Speaker 02

  If, if you wanna compete, you have to.

• 1:30:43Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:44Speaker 02

  You're not even in the class anymore. You're like, yeah, it's just, but, but that's. That's what, you know, people say, think outside the box. There is no box.

• 1:30:54Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:54Speaker 02

  Just, you just figure, I'm gonna, you know what? Let's go do this.

• 1:30:58Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. Let, let, let's go.

• 1:31:01Andy Frisella?

  And that's why those things are so admirable, right? Like, you know, you, like, you look at, like, guys who have, uh, you know, ridden their bicycle around the world or done, like, um, Greg Anderson right now is doing that row from, from Washington to Hawaii. And while, you know, other people have done that, I mean, very, very few people have done that.

• 1:31:21Speaker 02

  It's a short list.

• 1:31:22Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, man, like.

• 1:31:23Speaker 02

  It's like something you see in a movie. Like, people be stopping. I could just be like.

• 1:31:27Andy Frisella?

  Oh, we got, we, people stop.

• 1:31:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:29Andy Frisella?

  People stop.

• 1:31:29Speaker 02

  You know, that's the kind where, where you're drinking something, you see them, a guy, you gotta look at it and like, I fucking see what I just saw, what I just saw?

• 1:31:37Andy Frisella?

  Do you know what's funny is like, normally, when I go up there, and I'm driving one of the cars, like, people will come over and they'll look at the car and shit. That day we took the tank up there, nobody came around us.

• 1:31:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, no, no.

• 1:31:49Andy Frisella?

  Everybody was like, they're like, I think they were totally like, what the fuck? You know? That was like one of my most viewed Instagram stories ever.

• 1:31:59Speaker 02

  That was a good one.

• 1:31:59Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:59Speaker 02

  The M rap gets it too.

• 1:32:01Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, the M rap's cool.

• 1:32:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:02Andy Frisella?

  But.

• 1:32:02Speaker 02

  Hell, yeah, man.

• 1:32:03Andy Frisella?

  But yeah, man, you know, it's, uh, there is no box. You can do whatever you want. You can become whatever you want. You can create whatever you want. But I could tell you this. It isn't gonna happen if you keep talking and listening to that bitch voice. Nothing great comes of that. Nothing great. And your only hope, you have, you have two hopes, okay? One.

• 1:32:27Speaker 02

  Actually, something does come of that. A great, you become a great bitch.

• 1:32:31Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a lot of those. But, you know, if you're listening to this show, you're already kind of fucked, okay? Because you already have the awareness that you want to be better. You already have the awareness that you want to become more. You already have the awareness that you want to create something. And you can't go back. Okay? So there's ignorance, and then there's awareness. And once you're aware, unless you pursue it, you're fucked. And that's it.

• 1:33:07Speaker 03

  Went from sleepin' on the floor, Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a blow, fuck a stove, Counted millions in the coke. Bad bitch, booty swole, Got her on bankroll. Can't fold, just a no. Headshot, case closed.