Detroit Live Show - 2026 Dream Cruise

Roast my car! Million dollar garage! And the secret to protecting your car from yours friends. All that and a lot more from our Detroit show. Recorded live at 248 Garage in Detroit during the 2026 Dream Cruise. Square Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/tire #squarepod #ad Hims Ready to reach your goals? Visit hims.com slash tire to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you Use Off The Record! and ALWAYS fight your tickets! For a 10% discount on your first case go to https://www.offtherecord.com/TST Want your question answered? Want to watch the live stream, get ad-free podcasts, or exclusive podcasts? Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thesmokingtirepodcast Instagram: https://www. Instagram.com/thesmokingtire https://www. Instagram.com/therealzackklapman

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Looks like a garage for someone who like preserves model trains.

• 0:04Matt Farah?

  Do you have any trains, sir? What is the nerdiest thing in your house? My bagpipes? Yes! Yes! What up, everybody? Welcome to the Smoking Tire Podcast. Today's episode is brought to you, as always, by Off the Record. We love Off the Record here at the Smoking Tire, because they are looking out for us when we're out on the road. And by that, I really mean us, you and me. In fact, I got a case open with Off the Record right now. Can't wait to get those results back, because I know what they will be in a couple of months. I'll get a text message after having sufficiently forgotten that I was accused of speeding by the state of California.

• 0:45Matt Farah?

  And that text is gonna say, "Your case has been dismissed," and then I'll never have to think about it again. It will be superb. OfftheRecord.com/TST. That's OfftheRecord.com/TST. And we will give you 10% off all legal services booked through Off the Record. All right, on this episode of the podcast, Zach and I are live in Detroit for the Woodward Dream Cruise. This was an amazingly fun show from 248 Garage on Woodward Avenue. They were fabulous hosts. We had a great audience. The people of Detroit are so fun.

• 1:23Matt Farah?

  And it's a great example of what our live show is like for those of you who might want to come see us in the future. So, let's go to Detroit for the Woodward Dream Cruise. It's the Smoking Tire Live. Let's go.

• 1:39Matt Farah?

  With no further ado, please, a massive round of applause for my two friends from the Smoking Tire, Zach and Matt. These two guys. Heyo! The fuck is up in here? Woo!

• 1:59Matt Farah?

  Sold it out! Damn! You for coming. What a treat. This is crazy. How about Christian's show, huh?

• 2:07Speaker 00

  How about Christian?

• 2:08Matt Farah?

  Yeah!

• 2:11Matt Farah?

  This is crazy. First time back at Woodward Dream Cruise in 10 years for us. I, like, it's one thing, I can't believe I have to compete with the Dream Cruise. Like, I can't believe you guys have to compete with the Dream Cruise for my attention. I have, like, car autism, you know, like, car ADD, and like, you know, my wife is like, "Look, I think we should talk about if we're gonna have kids." And I'm like, "Is that a VR6?"

• 2:46Matt Farah?

  Seven blocks away? He's definitely, he's floating a valve. He's definitely, he's about to float a valve. You know, so I have to stand here and entertain you guys. And meanwhile, I'm like, "What the fuck is that back there?" You know, and this is gonna be very... Doug, we should have blacked out the windows. I knew. We should have blacked out the windows. Shout out to 248 Garage for having us here.

• 3:15Matt Farah?

  Doug, we got Doug right here. We got Lisa, we got Zach in the back there. We got, we got the whole team. And these guys have been so hospitable. So, if you need some, you know, PPF or car storage, you gotta go to these guys. They're, they're great. It's been, it's been an amazing first 24 hours. The Dream Cruise has gotten bigger, crazier than the last time I was here, for sure. You know, I was only here Friday, Saturday last time, and it was crazy, but Wednesday was fucking crazy last night. Shit was popping off down here last night. It was wild. The 12 o'clock boys, I saw a police chase.

• 3:57Matt Farah?

  Dude, I came from Los Angeles. We fucking invented that shit. I came, I came from Los Angeles, and I saw a police chase 10 feet from me. It was the slowest police chase I've ever seen in my life.

• 4:11Speaker 00

  But that's a real farm-to-table police chase. You know, we don't have to watch it on TV, on the news with a helicopter. It's right there. You can smell it.

• 4:18Matt Farah?

  It was so, so, the guy just was clearly fucking with the, like, "Can you fuck with the police here? You can just do that." So, there, I think they were maybe in cahoots. So, what it was, was a white Civic, 10 years old or so, looked stock, but for a parachute, okay?

• 4:43Matt Farah?

  A lot of people put parachutes on their car for no reason, am I right? But...

• 4:48Speaker 00

  That's the, that's the old auto braking system.

• 4:50Matt Farah?

  Right. And so, the cops were trying to pull this guy over. I don't know, I guess his chute was blocking the plate or something. But then, these 12 o'clock boys on little dirt bikes came by and rode a circle around the cop car.

• 5:08Matt Farah?

  And I'm like, "Yo." Listen, and I was in these superspeeders videos, so I, I've fucked with the police, but like, I was like, "This is not a close range." And they lap, and then they pull into the parking lot. The cops at like 8 miles an hour try and go through the parking lot. And these guys do a loop-de-loop around the building and lose the cop. I was like, "I just saw a police chase at close range, and they fucking got away." Like, this, this is, like, where I live, only billionaires can do crimes and get away with it. Like, where I live, if you're doing white-collar crime, that's just called having a real job.

• 5:49Matt Farah?

  And here, apparently, the cops have better things to do, and you could do, like, fun crimes! Like, really fun, mostly harmless crimes in this town, which is like amazing.

• 6:01Speaker 00

  Maybe that's the tour we should organize. You rent, we rent you an e-dirt bike, and we say, "Go out and distract someone while they're getting pulled over. Distract the police." It's a symbiotic relationship, really.

• 6:11Matt Farah?

  It's crazy. It's like, it's like Miami, but the cars are better, actually. You can do crimes there, too. They're very different crimes.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  There's three crimes you can do there. It's shooty, snorty, and body. Those are the three crimes you can do there.

• 6:27Matt Farah?

  Snorty and body.

• 6:28Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's like the seven dwarves, but it's in Miami.

• 6:30Matt Farah?

  Whereas here, we have revy, smokey, and rusty. Yes, these are your three. This is the Woodward Dream Cruise. It's like, it's like The Purge for cars, right? For one day, everything is street legal. I mean, like, there's, there's just no... I mean, even while, you know, while Christian was doing his thing, 248 Garage has this, like, upstairs, this whole dope lounge, and you guys can't come up there. But I was up there drinking vodka Fresca like a gentleman, and I saw a camper go by in reverse towing a Ranger, also in reverse. And that, I mean, like...

• 7:14Speaker 00

  See, mushroom dispensary. I'm telling you.

• 7:17Matt Farah?

  That's what's up. You make mushrooms legal in your state, and boy, do the cars turn out good.

• 7:23Speaker 00

  The RV was towing the truck, man.

• 7:25Matt Farah?

  That, this, this place, like, we've done Car Week on a ray for 12 years in a row. This shit is so much better. Like, like, you don't get to go to Car Week, and, like, your vocabulary is limited. Like, I never get to use the word "contraption."

• 7:46Matt Farah?

  You know? Like, you say, like, "What the fuck is that?" And some man in a hat is like, "Well, that is a 1922 Duesenberg, and you don't know what it is, and therefore, you are lesser than me." And here, I'm like, "What the fuck is that?" And the guy was like, "Well, in 72, it was a Vega. By 74, it was actually a Mustang. By 83, believe it or not, it was a Beetle."

• 8:11Matt Farah?

  Now, I don't even fucking know, but I don't have to drive plates on it here, so it's all good, you know? It's fucking crazy out here.

• 8:18Speaker 00

  You can register anything here, it seems. There's just, like, ladders driving by, tube chassis, whatever.

• 8:23Matt Farah?

  Oh my God, it's great.

• 8:25Speaker 00

  Pro-street things, side-by-sides are legal here to drive on the street? That's crazy.

• 8:29Matt Farah?

  Are they? Are side-by-sides legal here, ish?

• 8:32Speaker 00

  It's like this? You gotta know personally?

• 8:34Matt Farah?

  I've seen at least two sand rails, so let's call that a plus, right? Ford was pretty cool. You know, Ford was like happy enough to have us here, that they were like, "What do you want to drive?" And I was like, "The best shit you got, huh, baby?" So, we got this, this Heritage 4GT outside, which is, you know, any 4GT is a good 4GT. And I posted on Instagram yesterday that what I, one of my favorite things in the world, and I mean this in like a very, very complimentary way, is a beater exotic. You know what I mean by that? Like, it could be a high-mile car that somebody just bought, and it's like, "I'm driving this thing in the ground." Like, that's cool. But also, you know, the OEMs, they have these cars. They're like pre-production cars. They use them for development and media and whatever, and they're essentially unsellable.

• 9:20Matt Farah?

  They're, because they're before the crash testing and whatever, they, they can't sell them. And a lot of the times, they crush them, which is a bummer. But with a 4GT, I think even they knew it was worth keeping. So, that's actually VIN number 5. If you go look at it, 0005, which is pretty cool. It's 28,000 miles, and kids, this...

• 9:43Matt Farah?

  Can you hear me? Okay. And I don't, and I don't mean this in a bad way, but like, the badge is peeling off the steering wheel. Leather's kinda fucked up. The seatbelt doesn't retract. There's like literal electrical tape in the door jamb. The tachometer doesn't work at all. Which, you know, and, and I don't care about any of this. None of it. In fact, I think all of it is better. And a car that cannot ever be sold has no intrinsic value beyond just being the thing that it is, right? It's, it's an engine, and a chassis, and a body, and it's, it's for enjoyment, because it cannot possibly be for investment. And is there anything better than that? There is nothing better than that.

• 10:28Matt Farah?

  And I, charmingly, I thought, referred to this as a high-mileage beater 4GT on my Instagram. Guess who wasn't happy about that?

• 10:41Matt Farah?

  So I got a little text that was like, "Beater? Who are you calling a beater?" I'm like, "Chill out, bro. I fucking, I mean it. You know what I mean? Don't be so... I mean it in a good way. Like, don't be offended. Like, it's a term of endearment." And he's like, "Well, some people are a little offended by that, and I know what that means." Jim Farley was offended by that.

• 11:05Matt Farah?

  And I sent back the meme from Pulp Fiction that was like, "Tell that motherfucker to chill!"

• 11:13Matt Farah?

  Never heard anything back. I assume we're good.

• 11:18Speaker 00

  Jim Farley's gonna be like Marcellus Wallace.

• 11:21Matt Farah?

  Jim Farley's opening the case like, "Oh."

• 11:23Speaker 00

  I do like that they're still working on applying emblems to steering wheels. They're like, "We haven't quite figured out the glue yet, you know, 80 years later."

• 11:30Matt Farah?

  Holy shit. That's the best car in the world, though. Anyone here ever actually driven one of those Ford GTs? Hands up if you drove one. Not a lot of people. You have one? You drove that one? Oh, are you the press fleet guy that delivered that? Okay, oh, nice. That's better.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  Great job on the tape around the wiring.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  That's how Japan does it, for sure.

• 11:52Matt Farah?

  Let me, Habibi, I have some notes. No, that legitimately is one of the best cars ever made, and even if it's a semi-fucked one, I don't care. It's a total privilege to drive it.

• 12:04Speaker 00

  If it goes and turns, that's all you need from that. If it turns on, who cares?

• 12:07Matt Farah?

  Oh, it's beautiful. It's so beautiful. It's street. It's a privilege to be driving it, especially after the week I've had. Any guys patrons here? Patrons? Yes. Fucking love you guys. So if you listen, thank you very much. We really appreciate that. Pro show, if you heard the last show early, you know that my Porsche Taycan got hit? This fucking sucks, you guys. I had a rough week. I lent my car to my friend.

• 12:37Matt Farah?

  And I didn't even want to. I knew it was a bad idea. But you don't want to be the guy who's got eight cars and your buddy's like, "Can I borrow a car?" And you're like, "Don't."

• 12:49Matt Farah?

  "Couldn't possibly. Couldn't spare it. You've got eight. I need them all. I need them all this weekend." That's kind of, it's funny about that. I need every single... So I can't, I couldn't do that. I let him borrow the most normal car I had. My wife's car.

• 13:05Speaker 00

  The one car she drives a lot.

• 13:08Matt Farah?

  Ladies, how do you think that went? When I got the call saying it was hit. Now, the good news is, there isn't any.

• 13:19Matt Farah?

  Well, I've just learned, I got the email from the insurance, that the police report, the two adjusters... Because get this, my buddy was rear-ended, which normally that's a pretty open and shut kind of deal, you know?

• 13:36Matt Farah?

  Unless he threw that motherfucker in reverse and stomped on the gas, got it up to about 60, I don't think this accident was his fault. But she said it was, and she's hurt.

• 13:48Matt Farah?

  But the investigation has cleared my friend, which would have been so awkward. Imagine that? Oh my God. Now, he's gotta pay for this chick. I mean, it would have been... Imagine he actually had thrown the thing in reverse at 40 miles an hour? Imagine the police report pulled up, like, the gas station camera from the corners, like, "You're not gonna believe this, sir." Remember when you were like, "There's no way he threw the fucking thing in reverse at 40 miles an hour." Look at this video. You're not gonna... But he didn't. If you looked at the photo of the car, it's like, it's like nothing. It's a bumper, and a wheel is damaged, nothing. Seventeen thousand, two hundred dollars. That's how much it cost to fix my Porsche. And so, the moral of the story, guys, is don't let your friends borrow your cars.

• 14:33Matt Farah?

  That's, I mean, that's the only reason. That's my PSA for the evening. Don't let your friends borrow your cars.

• 14:39Speaker 00

  This is why you used to bolt your chairs to the floor of the car.

• 14:43Matt Farah?

  Right.

• 14:44Speaker 00

  So that no one under 6'1" could drive the car, and it was effective.

• 14:48Matt Farah?

  Right. So when you want no one to drive your car, first you, if you're okay with the sort of rules controls, meaning like, "No one's allowed to drive my car. Sorry." And you're just kind of a dick about it, and everyone knows it, and they'll stop asking. So that's way number one that no one's gonna borrow your car. Way number two, engineering controls. And this is my favorite kind of way to not let someone drive your car. I'm like, on the taller side, right? So what I like to do is get a Recaro seat, bolt that motherfucker to the floor. No slider. If you're under 6'3", tough shit. Can't reach the pedals? That's not my fucking problem, Habibi. And that's a good way to do it. I like that.

• 15:32Matt Farah?

  My newest, my newest way is gonna be, "The last motherfucker crashed it, so no." That's how we're gonna do this going forward, is I'm gonna show you a photo of the last guy that drove my car. Crazy. At least he wasn't doing something stupid. At least I didn't find out, you know, he was drag racing my Taycan in Lake Elsinore.

• 15:53Speaker 00

  I was worried that the gas station footage would just show his girlfriend's head not visible.

• 16:02Matt Farah?

  That's true. His regular car, the stick, he might be like, "Vacation." That's totally...

• 16:08Speaker 00

  We both know this person.

• 16:09Matt Farah?

  No.

• 16:10Speaker 00

  This is not a virginal person.

• 16:12Matt Farah?

  Very true.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  So that was my concern.

• 16:14Matt Farah?

  Oh, next time we need a dash cam with interior monitoring, just to be sure. Oh my gosh. But man, dude, this whole scene here, it's just, it's such a breath of fresh air. The variety of the cars, I mean, you just, you don't see anything like it in anywhere else. It's the density, right? And the history of Woodward Avenue, we love. My Aunt Nook are in the back. That motherfucker was drag racing back here in the 60s like a champion. Any other, yeah, right? Any other gentlemen racers from Woodward back in the day? I know we reach an old audience, but not that old. Okay, cool.

• 16:56Speaker 00

  Well, drag racing's pretty cool here. We thought it started here. It technically started in California.

• 17:02Matt Farah?

  Yeah, oops, sorry. You're welcome.

• 17:04Speaker 00

  A bunch of GIs had a race on an Air Force base, and when someone asked them, "How long's the track?" A reporter, some guy shooting from the hip was just like, "A quarter mile?" And then it became the standard for the world.

• 17:13Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 00

  So total ad lib became the standard for the world. But they did start street racing here in 1951, and there were so many accidents that in 53, a police officer got General Motors to let people drag race on their factory grounds. They're like, "This is so bad." The police are like, "Can we just organize an illegal race on anyone's property?" And GM was like, "Sure." So they did that for like, six years.

• 17:37Matt Farah?

  It's a really early version of what they do in California now. Now it's like, there's a whole thing in California of like, "Race the sheriffs at the drag strip and like..."

• 17:45Speaker 00

  It's an outreach program.

• 17:46Matt Farah?

  Yeah, and they think they're cool, and their fucking 46 Mustang runs like 14s, and you could show up with a Model 3 and be like, "Okay, give me that money, bro." That was funnier in my own head. Okay. Moving on.

• 18:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was the first one. It looks like this. It's not a good photo or video because it was 1953.

• 18:06Matt Farah?

  You have video of this?

• 18:07Speaker 00

  I have video of the GM road. It wasn't even a race course.

• 18:10Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 18:11Speaker 00

  They literally built a road that was flat and straight, and they were like, "Yep, that's the criteria. Flat and straight."

• 18:16Matt Farah?

  How funny. We have not improved on that at all. That's like, literally what we've got today. Cool.

• 18:21Speaker 00

  No, we added K-rails, which is better and worse, depending on what's going on.

• 18:25Matt Farah?

  These early, these early cars where people are just like, "I don't know what works. This is either gonna go real fast, or I'm gonna eat a piston."

• 18:34Speaker 00

  Yeah. Put on this leather cap and go for it.

• 18:38Matt Farah?

  If a rod goes through the block, it goes into your mouth.

• 18:42Speaker 00

  Yes, but then drink your Obeltine, and it'll fix your liver and the hole in your body.

• 18:47Speaker 00

  No medicine. Here's a Scotch. Get out there, have fun driving.

• 18:50Matt Farah?

  No, but actually, we did some research, and it turns out, almost everywhere else has a better street racing scene than here. Did you guys know that? Like Stockholm? Like Stockholm, this hat was a good idea, too, when I thought of it. Folks, taking a quick break because support is coming in today from Square. You know Square. It's the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites. Whether you're gearing up for a busy season or just trying to keep up with everyday demand, Square keeps your business running smoothly from payments, POS, and online orders, to inventory, staffing, and more, all in one place so you can focus on your customers and not your to-do list. Ready to grow or streamline how you run things?

• 19:33Matt Farah?

  Because Square is offering listeners up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/tire. Again, square.com/go/tire. Yeah, Square is awesome, right? When you're a local business, like I have at Westside Collector Car Storage, this stuff is important because I am off running videos, making podcasts, and I can't be at the shop all the time. But I can log in with the backend at Square and know what is going on, and the experience is totally seamless. And from a customer perspective, right, this is an easy thing to use.

• 20:16Matt Farah?

  The customers like it, the POS, the credit cards, the Apple Pay, the invoicing, they love it too, right? Because Square brings payments, POS, inventory, and everything all in one place. So business owners just go to one home. They don't have to juggle a bunch of tools. The hardware, the software are super easy to use, so day-to-day operations feel simpler, whether I'm inputting credit cards over the phone, or swiping them, or tapping them in person. And Square's AI-powered tools help automate routine tasks, giving sellers more time back. Square helps you run your business more smoothly, bringing payments, operations, and insights together in one place, so you're... Ready for whatever's next.

• 20:58Matt Farah?

  Right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/tire. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E.com/go/tire. Get started with Square and build a setup that works the way you do. Guys, support is also coming in today from Hims. Look, guys, if weight loss has felt like a losing battle, this summer can be different. Skip the guesswork and try weight loss by Hims. Access an affordable range of FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen, plus the support to actually stick with it.

• 21:39Matt Farah?

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• 22:22Matt Farah?

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• 23:04Matt Farah?

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• 23:16Speaker 00

  9,000 degrees. Stockholm is crazy. They do rolling roadblocks, close the highway, and then they have people that go to off-ramps with radios. They shut, it's very Swedish. They're like, "We're gonna do it really organized, really safe, kind of illegal, but not a big deal." And then they take cars like this off of trailers, twin-turbo LS, old American shit, they love it, and they just go for a quarter mile, maybe a little bit more. I don't know what the metric system is.

• 23:41Matt Farah?

  Spotters are on bicycles. They're very eco-friendly people.

• 23:43Speaker 00

  That's true, yeah. It's reduced carbon footprint.

• 23:46Matt Farah?

  There is a bike lane right along the drag strip, actually. It was mandated.

• 23:49Speaker 00

  It's absolutely nuts what they do out there. Here's a closed freeway, you know, a couple hundred cars, no big deal. If you do that in California now, 15 different tactical agencies show up with like the free AR-15s they're not trained in. Stockholm, they're just like, "You guys." "Oh, okay, just one time again."

• 24:09Matt Farah?

  Everybody's named UKA.

• 24:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:11Matt Farah?

  And all the UKAs are down with whatever you've built.

• 24:13Speaker 00

  And if you go to jail, the jail there is like a dorm here, so it's actually not that bad. Los Angeles-

• 24:19Matt Farah?

  Why does it say Hyatt on here? Yeah, they're licensed from them.

• 24:22Speaker 00

  Los Angeles, obviously, we have a lot of street racing in LA. We have so much street racing.

• 24:26Matt Farah?

  Oh, this is the best.

• 24:27Speaker 00

  I looked this up today. This is 135th and Main.

• 24:30Matt Farah?

  Punch in a little bit. What you need to see-

• 24:32Speaker 00

  They sprayed VHT.

• 24:33Matt Farah?

  Is there's VHT at 135th and Main. Right?

• 24:38Speaker 00

  I went here about 10 years ago, and there was way more VHT. Because now, the big thing, of course, we all know, is sideshows.

• 24:47Matt Farah?

  We don't go straight no more in Los Angeles.

• 24:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:50Matt Farah?

  In Los Angeles, we go around and around.

• 24:52Speaker 00

  Oh, by the way, this is actually, if you click on this intersection in Google, it says Compton Speedway. I did not label that.

• 24:59Matt Farah?

  That's a Google Maps.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  That's Google Maps.

• 25:01Matt Farah?

  Right next to Gulf of America, it says Compton Speedway.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  So, of course, the new hotness-

• 25:06Matt Farah?

  Yeah. Who needs an Irwindale, am I right?

• 25:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:13Matt Farah?

  Compton Speedway.

• 25:15Speaker 00

  That is popular and used well. And guess what the distance is between these two locations? Two blocks.

• 25:23Matt Farah?

  Woo, eighth mile, baby. That's the turnaround for the eighth mile track. They just do it hot boy style like Goodwood.

• 25:29Speaker 00

  The police shut down the racetrack, and they're like, "Get out of here." And they went, "Two blocks, nobody cares." Absolutely insane. And they do this in Lancaster, which they call Mexico online.

• 25:38Matt Farah?

  Zach and I live like about two miles from that.

• 25:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, pretty damn close.

• 25:44Matt Farah?

  You guys think you only have hoods here. No, we have hoods too, and they go in circles in ours. They go straight here.

• 25:51Speaker 00

  We have hoods too, and they wrap in ours too. Okay? We're cool also.

• 25:57Matt Farah?

  We are, sort of.

• 25:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's a whole lot of that. Tokyo, of course, got famous for highway racing. Go ahead.

• 26:04Matt Farah?

  Sorry, I think the difference between a street race and a sideshow is whose name is on the title to the car? Right? Because a sideshow is all hot challengers and stuff, right? Like, there's nobody owns them cars. Their shit's, them shits are stolen. Whereas, you know, if you're gonna race for slips, you gotta have the slip. It's sort of in the title.

• 26:26Speaker 00

  Well, I think if you build a fast race car, which all these people do, and you win money, you want to keep that car. But if you do a good job at the sideshow, you want to ditch that car.

• 26:32Matt Farah?

  That's true. You need to get rid of the evidence immediately.

• 26:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, because you're being chased by helicopters.

• 26:37Matt Farah?

  Right. What is the best way to burn a car to the ground? Anybody know?

• 26:41Speaker 00

  We've done that.

• 26:42Matt Farah?

  Well, yes, okay, fine. The best way to get, burn a car to the ground, in our experience, is to fill the backseat with M16 gunfire until the padding catches fire on the interior, which is essentially unstoppable and burns the entire car to the ground.

• 26:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, turns out cars burn up really quickly.

• 27:00Matt Farah?

  It's also, it turns out, the S600 Guard series is not actually bulletproof. Not at all. Don't rely on, it's Detroit. Don't, you know, listen, you buy a car on Craigslist, the ad said "bulletproof." How do you fact-check that exactly? They don't have PPIs for bulletproof, really, do they?

• 27:21Speaker 00

  I don't think they proved it, yeah.

• 27:22Matt Farah?

  Yeah, if you find out it's not bulletproof, too late, boy, have you had a problem. Oh, you were talking, you want to talk about Japan street racing? Oh, boy.

• 27:31Speaker 00

  Well, I mean, just going around the world, Japan was insane. They just raced the highways at 180 miles per hour in some sections. This was the big midnight club stuff back in the 90s, and it was right before the Japanese economy crashed, so everyone was hopped up on like supra money, and they didn't have cocaine there because it's really illegal, so they just went out and did 150, 180-

• 27:51Matt Farah?

  Skyline margins.

• 27:52Speaker 00

  On the highways. Yeah, absolutely nuts, just booking.

• 27:57Matt Farah?

  The tunnel is where it's at. There's nothing like speeding in a tunnel, right? Because you really feel like, "Where are they gonna hide?"

• 28:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:06Matt Farah?

  Right?

• 28:06Speaker 00

  Where are the police gonna hide? And then the police cars there, I think were limited to like 120 kph for a while, so that's not great for the police. They're too respectful sometimes.

• 28:16Matt Farah?

  There's a tunnel in Iceland, one, one tunnel in Iceland. And I found out there's speed cameras at both ends. It was, yeah, they were both big numbers too. I got a doubleheader-

• 28:32Speaker 00

  You did.

• 28:32Matt Farah?

  In Iceland, yeah.

• 28:33Speaker 00

  I think there were like-

• 28:34Matt Farah?

  They're watching.

• 28:35Speaker 00

  Three real speed cameras and 10 decoys, but you found the real ones.

• 28:38Matt Farah?

  All of them, every single one.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  Do you want to talk about the buses, or do you want to move?

• 28:42Matt Farah?

  Oh, our favorite street racing, our favorite street racing is in Panama, in the country of Panama, the Diablos Rojos. Anyone know about the Diablos Rojos? These are school buses. This is the best street racing of all time. So, in, for many years, the actual transit bus service in Panama was run by private operators. They owned their own buses, and they would go from stop to stop. And they would decorate their buses all crazy, and they would have crazy stereos in them to attract attention, to get people to come on their bus and not the other bus, because they're literally competing with the other bus drivers for fares, which, shocking to this crowd, led to people tuning their buses to go faster.

• 29:27Matt Farah?

  So you have big turbos, you have different-

• 29:30Speaker 00

  PVC intercooler piping. We saw this. It was white and plastic.

• 29:34Matt Farah?

  We did see a PVC intercooler pipe. Different ratios, whatever. Well, where does, let's take that to its conclusion. At night, on the highway, they roll race these motherfuckers. And they roll race them from 100 to 180 kilometers an hour. And I would say that's bullshit, except I went on one.

• 29:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:56Matt Farah?

  And he was there.

• 29:57Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 29:58Matt Farah?

  And that's about as close to death as I've ever been. This is the, and the races are 20-kilometer highway. There's six buses. The highway's three lanes, okay? Imagine what this looks like coming at you, six school buses going 100 miles an hour, fucking like Decaturah with stacks and like, I-

• 30:21Speaker 00

  This, this was a sanctioned race they started doing. But when we met them, they raced on the highway, and the guy that drove our bus did not talk.

• 30:29Matt Farah?

  No.

• 30:30Speaker 00

  Ever. But the owner of the bus talked, and he had a lot of gold chains, and the guy who drove the bus had loafers on, and his steering wheel had money rolled into it and like-

• 30:39Matt Farah?

  Was the center of buses. White socks, loafer, yeah, yeah.

• 30:43Speaker 00

  And we drove with the door open. Why? Never explained.

• 30:46Matt Farah?

  True. But, and I also, I can't, we don't have a photo of it, the entire back half of the bus was speaker cabinets. The entire back half. It had like 30 18s in the back of it. And if you're wondering how that sounds, I don't know, I couldn't hear anything for days. My shirt has come up. I have absolutely no idea how it sounds. So, anyway, other places have better street racing than, than would-

• 31:14Speaker 00

  There's no way that-

• 31:16Matt Farah?

  This would have been better than Monterey this week for many, many reasons. And we are so happy to be here because of them. And we've made a list of them, of the reasons we'd rather be here than Monterey Car Week this year. Guys, one more break from the action because support is coming in from Delete Me. You know Delete Me? I've been talking about Delete Me for like two years now. But if you ever stop to think, and I mean really stop to think, you know, I should be doing more to protect myself from stalkers, scammers, hackers, but you really don't know what it is, well, here's what you do. You go to- www.joindelete.me/tire and you enter code tire for 20% off Delete Me.

• 32:00Matt Farah?

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• 32:42Matt Farah?

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• 33:27Matt Farah?

  reports, having stuff deleted. It's a great thing. It is a great thing, and I have noticed less scam calls and text messages since then, right? It's good. It is very good. You should get it too. Take control of your data and keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me. Now at a special discount for our listeners, you can get 20% off your Delete Me plan when you go to joindelete.me/tire and use promo code tire at checkout. The only way to get 20% off is to go to www.joindelete.me/tire and enter code tire at checkout. That's www.joindelete.me/tire code tire. Zach, what are they?

• 34:12Matt Farah?

  I have to fix my shirt. This is a problem.

• 34:14Speaker 00

  Fix your shirt. The odds of us meeting someone who owns a data center here is near zero. Like, there's no way that heaven... Yeah? Right?

• 34:24Matt Farah?

  Right? I have met 74 residential contractors.

• 34:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, Kevin O'Leary's not setting up his EZ up and telling you to look at his Rolex.

• 34:36Matt Farah?

  Yeah, 13 union boys and no data center owners. Yes, yes. Also, very few Montana tags here.

• 34:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:48Matt Farah?

  It seems that you don't need to evade laws if you don't actually have any.

• 34:55Speaker 00

  If you could just register the car, you don't have to be from another state, but never go there.

• 35:00Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 35:01Speaker 00

  Which I respect. Just make it a little bit more honest.

• 35:04Matt Farah?

  I bet if you rolled around Woodward with a Montana tag, Detroit people would in earnest be like, "Where are you from, Billings?" They wouldn't use that accent. "You guys don't talk like that." But basically, they would be... And in fact, that leads me to something. When we're driving press cars, you know, cars that we test around LA, a great many of them have Michigan license plates, like a lot of them do. And it's because if you ever see us testing a car and you're like, "Well, why does it have a Michigan plate instead of a wherever, or why does it have a Jersey plate or a Florida plate?" It's wherever the registered importer of the car is, if it's a foreign car. So like, a lot of cars come through Newark, and they're importers in Jersey, and blah,

• 35:48Matt Farah?

  blah, blah, right? American cars, obviously, are gonna have Michigan plates. Not only do they have Michigan plates, they have an M in the middle of them. It'll say like 1, 2, 3, M, 4, 5, 6. An M is for manufacturer, right? That make sense? Like a dealer plate, they move them around. Well, most people don't know that. It just took me like 35 seconds to explain that to you, so you could probably guess where this is going. So I'm driving down, you know, wherever. It's a Pulvita Boulevard. That's like your Woodward in our California. And I'm in the new dark chorus. "Go Wolverines!" What the fuck, dude?

• 36:31Matt Farah?

  This is all the time, all the time. "Go fucking, go Wolverines! You drove that thing down here from Michigan?" And now I gotta tell a fucking story, bro. Now I gotta tell all that shit I just told you to them, or I gotta go, "Yeah, man, my back really fucking hurts, but go Wolverines!", right? And then they go about their day.

• 36:55Speaker 00

  The whole state thinks it's a small town, which is adorable, but also, we're not used to that friendliness in LA. We're like, "Whoa, I don't wanna fuck you. What are you trying to say? Back up."

• 37:04Matt Farah?

  It's crazy. What were we doing? Oh, wide Woodward is better. Yeah, right. Michigan plates. They bug me out. Like, "Look at all these press cars." Turns out you guys just live here.

• 37:13Speaker 00

  Well, we had some names for Monterey. Goodwood Festival of Traffic.

• 37:16Matt Farah?

  Mm-hmm. We're workshopping that one.

• 37:19Speaker 00

  We are. Goodwood Festival of Stopped, and then Goodwood Festival of Second Wives, I think is probably the best one.

• 37:25Matt Farah?

  I heard, from a, you know, a secret source, the CEO of Singer, that the prostitutes are just off the chain this year at Car Week. I heard it was really, they have, they have upped their game. Yeah, they're importing.

• 37:41Speaker 00

  Is that an objective test or a subjective test?

• 37:44Matt Farah?

  Well, we'll see later. There's detailed files.

• 37:48Speaker 00

  I mean, the big thing is that you guys have roadkill nights, and you also have like burnouts happening, they're kind of permitted, but you have a drag strip built into part of the road. And in Monterey, there's a group of people that rent blocks of the city to park Ferraris, but then other Ferrari owners park their Ferraris to go look at the Ferraris that are parked next to other Ferraris. Like, that's the cool thing that happens in the streets of Carmel, and that is so fucking lame. And you guys are like, "Drag strip? Past the Buc-E's and past the Dunkin' Donuts." Yeah, okay, and if you hit the, you know, the Aldi's over there, call the ambulance. Great.

• 38:21Matt Farah?

  I've gotten like four emails that are like, "Bro, if you wanna see the real Dream Cruise, it happens between 4 and 6 a.m. 7,000 people are there. There's a little bit of meth, but you should come out. It's a fucking good time, man." It's out in Pontiac. No shit. No fucking shit it is, bro. Is it, when you guys, I mean, you know, we live in big cities, right? Crime happens, it's a thing, it's, you know, it is what it is, you live in a city, but I find in Los Angeles, that the cooler your car, the less likely it is to get fucked with. Like, if you have a car that's not necessarily like an exotic, expensive car, but like, if you have something interesting and cool, you can leave that motherfucker anywhere with the keys in it.

• 39:06Matt Farah?

  Even like the gangsterish dudes are like, "Respect, it's cool." Does that happen here? They leave your car alone here, right? These dudes are trying to tell me, "Here's where you can drive the GT, and here's where you can't." I'm like, A, not mine. B, I feel like Detroit is god status towards a GT, and nobody is gonna fuck with that car, right?

• 39:25Speaker 00

  Is that your hero car here, or one of them?

• 39:27Matt Farah?

  That's god-tier car here, right? People treat me pretty good driving that car. They really do. That is a god-tier car, I believe.

• 39:35Speaker 00

  Well, speaking of which, if you were gonna buy three cars to own in Detroit...

• 39:40Matt Farah?

  This is our favorite thing to do. Favorite thing for the live show. Competition, okay? Zach versus myself. We each make many, many assumptions about your city and its people.

• 39:52Speaker 00

  Without doing any research about the culture?

• 39:54Matt Farah?

  No, we do not. We don't talk to people, we just look and judge.

• 39:59Speaker 00

  I watched Tommy Boy three times.

• 40:02Matt Farah?

  Callahan Brake Pen. And we put together, we spend a million fake dollars on a three-car garage that is appropriate for, that we think is appropriate for your city.

• 40:16Speaker 00

  That's $2 million in yesterday's money, by the way.

• 40:20Matt Farah?

  And we ask you to judge who has made a better decision. So should we do, you wanna do mine first or yours first?

• 40:26Speaker 00

  Yours first.

• 40:27Matt Farah?

  Mine first. Okay, I'm blowing a million dollars on cars to drive around this city. Number one, are you going down my list? Okay, there we go. Number one, it's not very interesting, but you'll understand what I'm doing with it in a minute. This is a Cayenne hybrid, lightly used. We're calling it $100,000. That's getting me the nicest one in the world, okay? But we need it for every day. They tell me it snows here. Yeah, so we need something like that. We start boring, okay? So that's 100K on a really expensive day. Boom! You guys know this car. If I had this car today, you would be tearing bitches off of me.

• 41:10Matt Farah?

  Tearing them. Other than having to explain to everyone you meet the difference between a radial and a rotary engine, everybody.

• 41:20Matt Farah?

  If you don't know, don't even pretend, people. This would be a perfect dream cruise car. My airplane engine radial Myers-Mansx, you are one with the world and you are making an enormous racket. Moving on. Boom. I already led you up to it. The quicksilver no-stripe Ford GT. Could've bought one for 110 grand 11 years ago, and that's a million dollars now. So boom, I'm calling it 600 because my fake one has 60,000 miles on it and gafford. It's basically that one, but silver. That's where, calling it 600, okay? For the M1. And with my Cayenne that I'm towing, the 997 cup car.

• 42:03Matt Farah?

  They, because there are no corners on the roads here, so you might as well corner on the track. Buck and a quarter gets you one of these. So, across that, that's a million dollars of fake money. Right? Fake money.

• 42:18Speaker 00

  Fake money.

• 42:19Matt Farah?

  Fake money, right? What do we think? What do we think? Okay? Is it decent? Pretty decent? Okay. Now, let's see, what has Klapman put together? And I don't even know. He blacked it out on the dot.

• 42:31Speaker 00

  I did. I chose three cars because I, that was our initial.

• 42:35Matt Farah?

  Oh, God. Oh, God. Is this the Detroit Speed joint?

• 42:39Speaker 00

  Now, now, it was very nice of my opponent to choose two imported cars from our former enemy, Germany.

• 42:49Matt Farah?

  As a Jew.

• 42:50Speaker 00

  And to be fair, look, I understand the Cayenne is very nice to you. You don't make SUVs here or trucks. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

• 42:58Matt Farah?

  They don't, they're made in Canada.

• 43:00Speaker 00

  But that's a fair point. But we're gonna get there. And why do I sound like this? Because that's who fights laws, right? This is a guy named Bob. This is a Detroit Speed-built, you know, 69 Corvette, 670 horsepower, naturally aspirated LS7 IRS. Different control arms. It is awesome. It has air conditioning that works because the guy lives in Arizona. Look at this thing. So, this is great because you can cruise it on Woodward, you could take it to the track. It will just be a beacon of hope all the time.

• 43:31Matt Farah?

  This is a race car, you guys. I've driven this. This is a race car.

• 43:33Speaker 00

  I mean, it's pretty much a race car. That's very true. Looks awesome. Luggage rack, practical.

• 43:36Matt Farah?

  And what volume, what are you assigning to it?

• 43:38Speaker 00

  I'm assigning it 100 because that's what I need to do.

• 43:44Matt Farah?

  That's like a $500,000 car.

• 43:46Speaker 00

  Well, it's not a full.

• 43:46Matt Farah?

  It's like way, the engine is probably 100. Like, he's way off, like.

• 43:51Speaker 00

  But it's used.

• 43:52Matt Farah?

  That's not even close.

• 43:53Speaker 00

  But it's used. It was probably built for 500, but now the guy is aging out, you know? He's got New Balances. 100.

• 44:01Matt Farah?

  Jackson, let's go.

• 44:02Speaker 00

  Exactly. So, my second car.

• 44:05Matt Farah?

  Spiker.

• 44:05Speaker 00

  Spiker. Looks like it's from the future and the past at the same time.

• 44:10Matt Farah?

  Yes.

• 44:11Speaker 00

  Sounds amazing. 4.2-liter V8. Problem is that these are $600,000 now.

• 44:18Matt Farah?

  They couldn't give these things away.

• 44:20Speaker 00

  They could not.

• 44:20Matt Farah?

  They couldn't sell these things new. And immediately, they turned into huge money. I mean, look at the interior.

• 44:25Speaker 00

  Look at that.

• 44:26Matt Farah?

  You could've called that.

• 44:27Speaker 00

  You know, that will kill me.

• 44:28Matt Farah?

  They're like, Ralph Nader, who's that?

• 44:30Speaker 00

  Yeah. Just put a spike in the middle. That's where the name comes from.

• 44:33Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 44:34Speaker 00

  But, oh my God, how cool is that thing?

• 44:35Matt Farah?

  No, I've never put that together.

• 44:37Speaker 00

  Very popular.

• 44:37Matt Farah?

  That spiker is what happens if you have a crash on that steering wheel. Yep. That is true.

• 44:42Speaker 00

  My third one, you have winter here.

• 44:44Matt Farah?

  Oh, my gosh, you are boring.

• 44:45Speaker 00

  Arctic truck. I'm boring. You chose a hybrid Cayenne and a 911.

• 44:48Matt Farah?

  That's an Arctic truck?

• 44:49Speaker 00

  Arctic truck.

• 44:50Matt Farah?

  That's better.

• 44:50Speaker 00

  Arctic truck.

• 44:51Matt Farah?

  Arctic trucks are good.

• 44:52Speaker 00

  Winter, potholes. This solves both those problems.

• 44:54Matt Farah?

  Arctic trucks are good.

• 44:55Speaker 00

  And you can get 44s on them, which would be hard to park. So, that's, that's my list.

• 44:59Matt Farah?

  Okay, all right. Okay, okay. So, so, so, not by hands because that's quiet, and this is technically still a radio show. By applause, who thinks Zach spent a million dollars better than I did?

• 45:23Speaker 00

  Bunch of patriots here, and I like to see it.

• 45:26Matt Farah?

  Okay.

• 45:26Speaker 00

  Thank you, and I hope I get your vote.

• 45:29Matt Farah?

  Does anybody left think I did better? Okay, okay. Well, that's pretty close, actually.

• 45:37Speaker 00

  That is actually really close.

• 45:37Matt Farah?

  That's actually close. I think you win, though.

• 45:40Speaker 00

  I've never won before. I've truly never won before.

• 45:43Matt Farah?

  At literally anything. That's true, though. You have not won this game before.

• 45:48Speaker 00

  Last time I chose an 18-wheeled limo, so.

• 45:50Matt Farah?

  That's a good point. It's a very good point. Um, man, we have one more fun thing to talk about, and it started with something I saw the other day, which is that BMW is now showing ads in their cars. Ads. And they're not the first. Stellantis tried it first because fucking, of course they're doing it.

• 46:12Matt Farah?

  Because it's always the most desperate for money that try the most desperate measures.

• 46:16Speaker 00

  Well, you pay the subscription and the transmission keeps working.

• 46:19Speaker 00

  The 4XE will stop working and catch on fire if you stop paying the subscription.

• 46:24Matt Farah?

  So, rather than just complaining about features that cynical automakers are trying to charge subscription for, we thought, what are some features we would pay a subscription for? Now, hear me out, okay? BMW is the leader in subscription-based garbage, right? Garbage in, garbage out. So, I think that as a BMW owner, you should be able to subscribe to veto power over other BMW owners' burbletoons.

• 47:03Matt Farah?

  Right?

• 47:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:05Matt Farah?

  Right? So, it would be, it would be a near-field communication device, and if homie was rolling up, you could, it would, it would pop up, show an ad for Spider-Man 4, and then it would say, you know, would you like to veto, you know, Vinny's burbletoon? Right? Because they're all Vinny.

• 47:28Speaker 00

  Well, I think it would use their new gesture control, and you just do this.

• 47:31Matt Farah?

  You just do this?

• 47:31Speaker 00

  Tiny dick, and it turns it off.

• 47:33Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 47:37Matt Farah?

  I think, right, this is a good, I would, what, let's, I would pay $799 a month for burbletoon veto option. Is that fair? Let's focus group, focus group, yeah? That's a fair price? $799? Interest-free?

• 47:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:54Matt Farah?

  Okay.

• 47:54Speaker 00

  I want to pay like 10 bucks a month to be able to place Calci bets on whether the person in front of me will see the green light and go, or if they're stuck on their phone. And for every second that goes by, I can up the leverage. And just, if they're sitting there, I'm going 100x leverage, I'm retiring that day.

• 48:14Matt Farah?

  So, this one, I read a story a couple weeks ago, days ago, excuse me, that two people are suing Mercedes because they parked their AMG Merc in the sun, and these cars have metal badges on the seat backs. And they, right? And they got branded with AMG, right? The doctor quote was hilarious. They were like, they're like, no, no, we definitely know the source of this.

• 48:47Matt Farah?

  We can see it. It says AMG backwards, okay? And I think that I would pay for a subscription for that if someone was in my car, and let's just say they didn't, I don't know, shut the fuck up, that I could, on the side of my seat, brand them with a Porsche Crest.

• 49:08Matt Farah?

  And they wouldn't know where it came from. They would just go, something smells funny. Ow! You know? No? Yeah, I think, right? I would pay $499 for InstaBurn Porsche Crest, per month.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  Just eject your seat at that point.

• 49:23Matt Farah?

  Every, every month. Every month.

• 49:27Speaker 00

  I think also, using BMW's gesture control, we should be able to control other cars.

• 49:32Matt Farah?

  Right, like the remote parking thing, right?

• 49:34Speaker 00

  And you could like move them out of the way, park the seats. And if you do it responsibly, you get more power, like Thanos. But if you send them into oncoming traffic once, you get banned for one month.

• 49:45Matt Farah?

  Right, like, I just drove.

• 49:48Speaker 00

  Hey, we need your money, but quit it.

• 49:51Matt Farah?

  I was driving, I'm driving the new Genesis G90 back in LA, and when the car in front of you at a red light moves away, it goes, the car in front of you has departed. Right? Because people, they need to be told when to look up, right? So, we, we just invert that, the car in front of you is not departing, and you just, just, you just like on with you, and then it'll, you know, then their car goes, hey, fucko, look up. Shit's green, bro. You know what I'm saying? Is there a feature that anybody here would like to suggest that is worth good money? Sir?

• 50:33Matt Farah?

  Whoa, a fast summon for a, well, listen, this is called being white in Los Angeles.

• 50:41Matt Farah?

  What you're talking about is a fast summon for, it's a rat. You're talking about a fucking narc-ass rat button, and I'm not into it.

• 50:52Matt Farah?

  That's all right, okay, a summon, summon the police.

• 50:55Speaker 00

  For no muffler, was that what it was?

• 50:56Matt Farah?

  For no muffler. In this town?

• 50:58Speaker 00

  On this, on this week?

• 51:00Matt Farah?

  They got shit to do, don't you know? What's that?

• 51:05Speaker 00

  That bus is gonna break, yeah.

• 51:07Matt Farah?

  Exactly.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  No cats.

• 51:09Matt Farah?

  Exactly. Now, as we, we wrap this show up and go back to finishing our free alcohol, and by the way, after the show, we, we only have one item for sale. It's a TST Live license plate, and we'll sign them, we'll take pictures after the show for anyone who wants them. So, if you want one, you can get one, we'll sign it, we'll hang out, we'll take pictures. So, if you want one, please do, please do grab one. But we asked you guys to share your cars with us so we could all learn about your cars together as a group. Now, there was actually a bit of a problem.

• 51:44Speaker 00

  Yeah. Why are so many of the cars we saw out there shedding metal like they have dandruff, but all the car, we, we were sent so many good cars. Like, 15 of you had cars were like, that, I want that, I want that, I want that, I want that.

• 51:58Matt Farah?

  Like, I'm sorry, I can't roast your, like, brand-new M3, sir. Like, it's just nice.

• 52:03Speaker 00

  Someone had a yellow C6 Z06 and an Integra Type A. Great two-car solution. What are we gonna say?

• 52:10Matt Farah?

  Good color combo. We can't make fun of that. Those are just like nice cars. But that doesn't mean we got nothing.

• 52:16Speaker 00

  Right.

• 52:17Matt Farah?

  Because some of you guys, oh, boy.

• 52:21Matt Farah?

  Now.

• 52:25Matt Farah?

  Right? Right? Right? Now, I have some thoughts.

• 52:31Speaker 00

  I have questions.

• 52:32Matt Farah?

  This is basically what I expected from this entire city. I thought every single car was just this. I mean, that's what they've implied. Is it not the case? Whose car is this? Sir, where are the wheels?

• 52:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:47Matt Farah?

  What happened?

• 52:48Speaker 02

  It was leaking fuel.

• 52:49Matt Farah?

  Uh huh.

• 52:51Speaker 00

  Leaking fuel out of the wheels?

• 52:52Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  I had to get out of my car. And so I just took all the wheels off and was underneath it. Thought it was hilarious. I'm like, this looks like someone stole the wheel, snapped a photo of it. And then you guys said, roast my car. I'm like, this is the funniest photo I have of a car.

• 53:05Matt Farah?

  What's really funny is you turned around to take the picture, turned back around. Wheels were fucking gone. Shit! Shit! Christian, come join us. Come roast a car. Christian Hand, back to the stage.

• 53:17Matt Farah?

  I wouldn't ever, ever do a podcast again without having Christian Hand here to fucking open for us and yell about Van Halen.

• 53:28Matt Farah?

  Yeah, alright, this one 90. Now, this garage, you guys. This, whose garage is this? Are you present? That's you? You look a little too normal to have a garage. This is an early Viper. 92, 93, sidepipe car? 95? Damn. And what looks to be a Model A of some kind, Model A Ford. That is a two-car solution in Detroit, right there. That's fucking amazing. You've got the hardtop, which really fits poorly. Really, this is like Trump's new wig. It's not, it's not, it's not down, you know? It's like up. It's up here.

• 54:10Matt Farah?

  It's fucking, and this kayak really reminds me of what's happening there. But man, that's like, pretty cool, actually.

• 54:21Speaker 00

  It is. It looks like a garage for someone who preserves model trains.

• 54:26Matt Farah?

  Do you have any trains, sir?

• 54:28Speaker 00

  No.

• 54:29Matt Farah?

  No?

• 54:29Speaker 00

  Alright.

• 54:30Matt Farah?

  Alright, wait, wait, hang on.

• 54:31Speaker 00

  The Model A, which is a good winter car, but...

• 54:33Matt Farah?

  What is the nerdiest thing in your house?

• 54:36Speaker 02

  My bagpipes?

• 54:37Matt Farah?

  Yes! Yes! Motherfucking bagpipes. Yes! Never, ever disappoints. Yes! It was either gonna be saxophone or bagpipes, and I was not gonna guess bagpipes. You know what I mean? If it was like an A and B, I'm like, oh, that's a saxophone guy. You peaked with bagpipes.

• 55:00Speaker 00

  The lack of melanin.

• 55:01Matt Farah?

  So, it's stunning. Well done. The least practical garage I think I've ever seen, by the way. The kayak serves more purpose at this point. You know what I mean? Like, I'll just take the kayak out. It's gonna be so much easier.

• 55:13Speaker 00

  I gotta run errands.

• 55:14Matt Farah?

  Doesn't have to hand crank the fucking thing.

• 55:18Matt Farah?

  That's incredible. Thank you, Casper. That is unbelievable. That is the whitest, I mean, you could tell by the cars and the kayak, but I think he's the whitest person in a room full of, well...

• 55:30Speaker 02

  Competition is stiff.

• 55:33Matt Farah?

  Okay, now... You guys don't like this, do you?

• 55:38Speaker 00

  One person does.

• 55:39Matt Farah?

  Honda Metropolitan scooter with Street Glow. Raise your hand proudly. Who's riding the Met? You are? Fucking Stavros back there? Stavi's World on the Honda. This is, I cannot believe, the aggression with which Street Glow has returned. I had Street Glow on my car in 98, okay? For the record, Fast and Furious 1 was 2001, okay? Three years before Fast and Furious, I had Street Glow on my car. It was neon tubes. Literal neon tubes underneath the car. Very, very dangerous. I can't tell you how quickly it became uncool.

• 56:22Matt Farah?

  Like, I had it, and then it was boom, gone, immediately. And now it's back! Respect. Respect for the Metropolitan. What year did you have your?

• 56:32Speaker 02

  98.

• 56:32Matt Farah?

  So you were a virgin until 99? What horsepower is this particular vehicle?

• 56:40Speaker 02

  Enough.

• 56:41Matt Farah?

  To get your fucking huge balls around is what I was wondering about, cuz that's nice work, buddy. Nice work. I like the fact you can't even tell what it is unless you're autistic in Matt's particular vein, which... You're just like, oh, that's clearly a Honda Shadow Super Sport motor. That is ballsy as fuck, and you win the show, as far as I'm concerned. The only thing better would be the lights on a kayak. And then, sir, you... Bag piping on a kayak with ground lights is the... You are the fucking Woodward King forever. Toed behind a Model A.

• 57:20Speaker 00

  Are you saving up to buy a car, a guy that does a scooter? Is that your next plan?

• 57:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:27Speaker 00

  Everyone's like, that joke sucks. And he goes, yeah. They're like, oh, alright.

• 57:32Matt Farah?

  Because it's a Honda, if it was a Vespa, you'd go, no, I have seven cars. Thank you very much.

• 57:36Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 57:38Matt Farah?

  Is that a 50?

• 57:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:40Matt Farah?

  Yeah! That's like three horsepower, you guys.

• 57:43Speaker 00

  32?

• 57:44Matt Farah?

  I started with a 50. My first scooter was a 50. I'll tell you a very funny story, real quick. I was, I'm fat. I was fatter, okay? When I had the 50, and I lived in Redondo at the top of a hill, with a stop sign in the middle of the hill. If I stopped, I was not going again. Okay? Straight up, that ain't a joke. That just is, or was. So, you know, you gotta get a run at it, right? So, you know, hit it at 27. By the time you get through the stop sign, I'm going 7. Up there, I'm going 3. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop! Pulled over for rolling the stop sign. In my own driveway. Cuz I lived at the top of the hill.

• 58:28Matt Farah?

  I had... The Vespa, which was owned by my girlfriend at the time, didn't have insurance on it. And that was $2,000. We broke up three weeks later.

• 58:44Speaker 00

  I feel like you should've been pulled over for walking the stop sign at that speed. That's just not fair.

• 58:48Matt Farah?

  I mean, dude, I tried to argue this. I was like, no, you don't know, let me do it again, you'll see! I'll stop and I'll, I'll just be stuck there. I'll have to move to that stop sign. I'll be there forever.

• 59:00Speaker 00

  You had to move the house?

• 59:02Matt Farah?

  And I probably could've got away with it until he was like, you know, your insurance has expired. Fuck! In California, dude.

• 59:10Speaker 00

  In California.

• 59:11Matt Farah?

  Yeah, in California, dude. Double check that, Stavi. Something tells me you do in Michigan, too. Now, the grand champion, tell me, who out there has a Safari Miata?

• 59:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:27Matt Farah?

  Guy who looks like he won autocross last weekend, of course. You picked up all the cones, didn't you? You picked up all the cones afterwards, yeah. This guy definitely does autocross. This is a lifted, fog-lighted, roll-barred, N/A Miata. White wheels. Extreme, but I like it.

• 59:49Speaker 00

  They look very good. What size are the wheels? Cuz I see way more wheel than I do tire, which is the inverse of an off-road vehicle.

• 59:57Matt Farah?

  17s, yeah. Buying for the cheapy tire, that's the move. I like, what's the best, by far my favorite part of this photo is that you've posed it in front of the Michael Berry Career Center. And I saw this car, I knew right away you had no job. This is not a car owned by a gainfully-employed person. This is a person with an awful lot of time and $300 every two weeks unemployment. But they pick up the cones.

• 1:00:28Speaker 00

  This thing's awesome. Have you off-roaded it? Have you taken it on anything, or is it just done?

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  I needed safe, reliable winter transportation.

• 1:00:35Speaker 00

  This is one, this is one of those things. This is one of those, and I'll tell you, it's not safe.

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  It's also boosted.

• 1:00:44Matt Farah?

  Oh, it's turbo?

• 1:00:45Speaker 00

  Turbocharged?

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:46Speaker 00

  So, alright, so it's not reliable now, either? You managed to un-Miata a Miata, that's amazing.

• 1:00:53Matt Farah?

  Have you considered taking up the bagpipes? Quick question, just wanted to know. It's plenty of room in the trunk for them, if you're looking at it.

• 1:01:05Speaker 00

  Do you need a roommate to help hand crank the Model A? Alright, and then, we got, oh, last one.

• 1:01:13Matt Farah?

  Meow par.

• 1:01:14Speaker 00

  If we want it.

• 1:01:16Matt Farah?

  You guys, hang on. You guys in this city, I have to say, mad respect to your license plate game. You guys are a lot more creative with your license plates than we are in LA. You're really good at your license plates. Who's Meow Par with the Hellcat? Way in the back? Very good license plate game. Also, the best photo of the day, can you pull up the other photo of you getting pulled over in the car? This is fucking great. And I mean, and you've, honestly, the composition. We need to compliment the photographer, because this sunset, balanced with the strobe lights, I can really read, this guy's going, you fucking kidding me? Right?

• 1:02:01Matt Farah?

  It's not stolen, right? You're, you know, you can, I know, and he's, I know he's holding papers, but it really looks like he's holding a Styrofoam cup from the fucking smoothie spot, or whatever, and it looks like he nailed you as he was walking back to his car with his lunch. And he's, motherfucker, this guy doing a burnout! And it looks also like you're actually in a parking spot, which is an amazing place to get pulled over.

• 1:02:28Speaker 00

  I just like that these cars are so loud, and they're driven aggressively. And then the license plate is like, Meow par. What's your license plate? Meow? What's the car?

• 1:02:41Matt Farah?

  And finally...

• 1:02:43Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:44Matt Farah?

  The low road, the no road. We've, this is, we, you know this, whose car is this? Raise your hand. Are you here? You're in the back? Okay. You know they sell this extra tall, right?

• 1:02:57Speaker 00

  That's its one trick, is that it goes tall.

• 1:02:59Matt Farah?

  The only thing it does is tall. Like, that's, it's just a fucking A4 with springs, right? And this motherfucker's like, I know what I'm gonna do. I... They all went high. All these cars are high. Not fucking mine. We're going low! This is beautifully done, and boy, is it stupid. It's really, the one thing, the one and only, it's not fast, doesn't handle well, it does look nice, I'll give you points there. But man, you fucked it right up, didn't you?

• 1:03:37Speaker 00

  This is like, you were raised Catholic, and you're like, you know what I'm gonna do with my life? I'm gonna run an abortion clinic and lower an all-rodent.

• 1:03:45Matt Farah?

  We're the Smoking Tire. Thank you, guys, so much for coming out tonight. Kristin James Hand. Thank you, 248 Garage, for having us. We're gonna run upstairs, pour ourselves a cocktail, and if you guys wanna buy a license plate, have a chat, take a photo, we're signing them for as long as it takes. So...

• 1:04:08Speaker 00

  Thank you so much.

• 1:04:08Matt Farah?

  Thank you so much for coming. We really appreciate you all.